#ever since i took that one month long korean course in 2018 looking at what kpop does to korean romanization has been so painful

[leatherbookmark]

And What If I Told You. There's No 'W' Sound In 'Wooyoung'

[nctsjiho]

Lost Boy

warnings: none

era: fall 2018

❀ JiHo and Winwin go on a little mission to find a lost child’s parents

“I don’t know who’s idea it was to leave an 18 year old and an awkward foreigner boy alone in a foreign country, but the idea doesn’t sound the brightest.” JiHo noted while she scanned her surroundings. Winwin took slight offence to the comment and pushed her arm. “Hey! I’m not awkward.” The girl only sent him a smirk before looking around again.

The pair were outside in a less busy area of LA, while their manager went inside a store to grab some essentials. Normally something like that wouldn’t be allowed by the company so the manager had made JiHo and Winwin promise they wouldn’t tell anyone about it. Of course JiHo took advantage of the situation by requesting the manager would buy them some snacks - which also wasn’t allowed during JiHo’s diet, but the manager had to choose between potentially loosing his job, or just getting told of for letting JiHo break her diet. The decision was easily made.

While Winwin and JiHo immersed themselves in a casual conversation, JiHo suddenly felt a tug at her jacket. A little shocked at the unexpected movement, the girl looked down to see a small boy looking up at her. He must have only been around 5 years old, which made JiHo confused about who would let such a young child alone. But by the looks of the boy’s wide and teary eyes, it was definitely a case of a lost child, probably scared out of his mind.

JiHo’s features immediately softened, not wanting her underlying panic and concern for the boy affect the kid. “Hey little guy, what are you doing here alone?” JiHo asked in English and crouched down so she was at eye level with him. The little boy, however, didn’t respond. His lips were slightly trembling and his tears pooled at the corner of his eyes.

Winwin, who felt as shocked to see the lost child, crouched down as well and when the boy faced him he waved. “Hello.” He greeted in Korean, which had JiHo roll her eyes. “You weirdo, he doesn’t understand Korean. We’re in America.” She scolded, hitting her friend’s arm lightly. “You don’t know that.” Winwin retaliated. 

Before JiHo could fire back, the “arguing” friends heard a little giggle from the young boy. They both looked at the boy with smiles growing on their faces. “We sound funny don’t we?” JiHo asked and the young boy nodded, causing JiHo to laugh. She quickly translated to Winwin who found it endearing as well.

“What’s your name?” “Jonas.” The boy started to feel shy and casted his gaze on the floor. “Hi Jonas.” Winwin’s sweet tone completely stole the young boy’s heart as he now confidently smiled at Winwin. “No matter where we are, no matter who it is, everyone always falls in love with you.” JiHo snickered to which the older boy shrugged and then continued to wave at Jonas.

“What happened Jonas? Where are your parents?” The boy looked up at JiHo before explaining that they were with him at the park nearby and then suddenly he couldn’t see them anymore. “Did you cross the street all by yourself?” Jonas nodded as his eyes began to fill with even more tears. “Hey, don’t cry. We’ll go find your parents, but you should never cross the street by yourself okay?” Again the boy nodded and JiHo stood up.

Not really understanding what JiHo had just said, Winwin followed her lead and stood up as well. “What are we doing?” Winwin asked and JiHo’s eyes fell on the store their manager walked into about 5 minutes ago. “We’re going to find Jonas’ parents.” She looked at the small boy who was holding onto her hand and looking around the street, hoping to find his parents.

Winwin felt a bit uneasy, even though he wanted to help the child, their manager had no idea what was happening and had “ordered” them to wait outside and not move until he was back. JiHo noticed her friend’s inner turmoil and groaned. “If I have to I’ll go alone, but I’m not letting a kid go and find his parents alone in the late afternoon.” “But can’t we wait till hyung is back and go together?” Winwin tried to compromise. “We don’t know how long he’s going to be in there, and I don’t know how long his parents have been looking for their son. They must feel devastated.”

JiHo noticed how cold Jonas’ hand was so she took her jacket of and wrapped it around the little boy’s shoulders. “I’ll carry you.” She crouched down and Jonas wrapped his tiny arms around JiHo’s neck as he let her pick him up. “I’m going to look for his parents. You’re free to come or stay here, but I’m going.” JiHo told Winwin and then left in the direction of the park.

Winwin did a double take of the store before running and catching up to JiHo and Jonas. “I’m not letting you go alone.” He mumbled, to which JiHo felt a smile creeping on her lips.

Once they enter the park, JiHo asks Jonas a few questions like, “Where was the last place you saw your parents?” and “Did you see in which direction they left?”. Jonas wasn’t much of a help since he didn’t remember much. Yet JiHo completely understood, the boy lost his parents, he must have been so scared and panicked.

5 minutes went by, but they felt like at least half an hour and still they hadn’t found Jonas’ parents. Noticing how the small boy started to become a bit more restless Winwin came up with an idea. “I’ll carry him and you can run around and ask people if you have seen his parents.” Winwin suggested to which JiHo agreed. She handed over Jonas to Winwin who tried his best to entertain the boy. His English skills were very minimal, but Jonas seemed to prefer him saying things in Korean anyway. Each time he did, it elicited a giggle or a smile.

All Winwin had to do was keep Jonas calm, so JiHo could run around and hopefully find Jonas’ parents as soon as possible. He hated the fact that JiHo was running around alone at 5 pm on a particularly cold day, in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. Her jacket was still wrapped around Jonas, who seemed to appreciate the warmth it provided.

Winwin’s mind was clouded with so many thoughts, what if they didn’t find Jonas’ parents? What if something happened to JiHo? She was only 18 - technically speaking 17, her birthday was in a few months -  in a foreign country, with no supervision. Speaking of supervision, how was their manger going to react? Had he already left the store? Had he noticed him and JiHo weren’t there yet? How-

“Jonas!” “My baby!” Winwin’s head snapped to the direction of the screams. There he saw JiHo and two adults running towards them. “Mommy! Daddy!” The little boy screamed, happy to see his parents again. Quickly, Jonas was scooped out of Winwin’s grasp by the little boy’s father. “Thank you two so much! Oh my God, I was so scared!” The mother cried and pulled JiHo in a hug.

Once the mother stopped crying and had hugged her child, they turned to the two idols. “Thank you again! Thanks for taking care of my little boy.” The father said, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart. “No worries, your son is such a nice boy.” JiHo explained while she got her jacket handed back. “How could I ever repay you?” JiHo held up her hands explaining that they were okay and didn’t need anything. “Did they take good care of you?” The father asked Jonas who then excitedly started telling about how nice JiHo was and how funny Winwin and JiHo talked to each other. It melted both their hearts and then they waved the family goodbye after getting a last hug from the boy.

“He was cute.” Winwin smiled to which JiHo agreed. She then poked his shoulder twice. “We should head back, oppa isn’t going to be happy-” “YOU TWO!” As if on cue, their manager appears, sweat was dripping of his temples as he approached them. “I told you to wait in front of the store! I could already see my career- no, my whole life flash in front of my eyes!” JiHo and Winwin look at their manager with a sheepish grin. “Why are you here?” Winwin then explained what happened and their manager’s gaze softened.

“Next time, don’t forget your phones in the hotel okay? I was worried sick, but thank God you’re both fine.” The manager patted both idols’ shoulders. “And you did something amazing. I’m happy you found that little boy’s parents. I think I almost can relate to his parents.” JiHo cooed at their manager and looked up at him with big eyes. “Aw~ You care about us like we’re your own children?” JiHo teased which caused Winwin to laugh. “Never mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to find you.” He groaned.

“Me?! Why are you looking at me only? What about Winwin?!” JiHo asked offended. “What do you mean, JiHo? Didn’t you say everyone always falls in love with me?” The boy wiggled his brow as he mocked the girl. She rolled her eyes while looking at the manager. “Yeah, I think I prefer Winwin right now. Here you go buddy.” He hands him the snacks he got for him earlier. “What about mine?” The manager laughed. “I stress binge ate your snack while I was looking for you guys.” JiHo stopped in her tracks, mouth fallen open while the other two continue to walk. “That’s so unfair.” JiHo mumbled but quickly rushed to catch up with the others.

“Be careful what you say oppa. I can tell SM about how you left us alone outside-” “Here!” He shoved a bag of snacks into JiHo’s hands which made her smile sweetly. “Have I ever told you, you are my favourite manager?” JiHo beamed while opening the snack. “Shut up and eat.” He grumbled.

---

Side Note: Long overdue Winwin writing, there’s still a few members that I haven’t written for, so I’m slowly getting there. The member’s I haven’t written for, funnily enough, are some of the ones that I want to write for the most, but I’m having a hard time finding the perfect stories for them. Just letting you know, so you know that I love them as much as the other members. I know Haechan and Doyoung appear on this blog the most, (and I might have another Doyoung angst in my drafts) but that isn’t because I like them more, I love all NCT members equally. <3

Also posting 2 days in a row because I felt inspired and I might have given up on an assignment for this

[gdwessel]

Rumors About Ospreay + Unrest In The NJPW Locker Room; Government Adds Okinawa to State Of Emergency, Another Extension Possible; Quick Review of DSOTR Collision In Korea; Shota Umino News!; Ren Narita on Dark Elevation; Satoshi Kojima In Impact Next Week

Strap in because this is going to be a long one.

There are rumors and reports coming out now (mostly from one source, the Voices of Wrestling website, from behind a Patreon paywall) that Will Ospreay's injury may not be what it seems, and there is growing discontent to the point of "mutiny" among the non-Japanese wrestlers regarding the state of emergency, the last-minute decision to resume touring when some were already travelling out of Japan, and the constant need for quarantining when coming back into Japan. Unfortunately this is as much as I can say, because this is behind a paywall, so until it gets made for public consumption I’m kinda limited in what I can say.

I can totally buy that all is not well within NJPW, especially after the COVID-19 bubble has burst. I've already discussed the creative malaise happening in the company right now. That there seems to be backstage dissent shows possible signs of trouble ahead for the promotion, and this golden period that we've been accustomed to is well and truly over. (I mean, it already was once lockdown happened, but they did the best they could, in my honest opinion, including a Pretty Good if not great WK15. Right now, creatively, we are below 2nd-half 2018 levels of poor.) But NJPW has weathered these storms before, although not with a global pandemic looming over everything. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that Ospreay is indeed injured, because a) they haven't exactly been shy about wrestlers being injured and needing to vacate titles before b) if Ospreay is legit injured, he is far more likely to receive treatment as a citizen of the UK from the (somehow still alive if not totally hobbled by Brexit) NHS, as opposed to Japan's healthcare system which is far more like the US model. Some wrestlers are swearing up and down he is injured, from the rumors. Ospreay certainly hasn’t said anything in his own words, beyond RTing NJPW’s announcement of his injury and vacating the title, and posting a pic of himself kissing the belt. RevPro kinda sorta said something but were also pretty vague. But for an injury suffered on 5/4/2021, this pic posted on 5/18 does not look like someone who just had such a severe neck injury they need to fly back to the UK (mind you, it COULD have been taken much earlier than that). Indeed, Ospreay’s still-active Twitter is more focused on Hana Kimura at the moment*. All this said, professional wrestling by it’s very nature has a baked-in amount of bullshit as part of it, so that this injury might be phony is always a distinct possibility.

It is utterly believable there is conflict between wrestlers and management, and communication is piss-poor at best. It is also believable that NJPW and Bushiroad are only taking their cues from a government Hell-bent on holding an Olympics an overwhelming majority of those polled are against, and who are treating the extended state of emergency as a vague suggestion rather than as a, you know, state of emergency. Pretending everything is hunky dory hasn't worked so far, so not sure why NJPW, nor the Japanese government, think eventually it will. (And NOAH is on my shit list right now too.) On that note, the government has now officially added Okinawa to the state of emergency. There is also talk that it will be extended further, as a government subcommittee member is quoted in the article as saying “it is difficult to think” that it will be lifted on 5/31/2021. Among that talk is word that Tokyo particularly will be under a stricter lockdown if this goes on. On a piece of actual GOOD news, it has been announced that the government has approved both the Moderna and AstraZeneca versions of the vaccine, so perhaps the vaccination rates will start to go up at last.

* - The anniversary of Hana Kimura’s tragic death is tomorrow (5/23/2021). I still sometimes struggle with the idea she is gone. Tonight at 10:30pm EDT (which is 5/23/2021 12:30pm in JST), FITE TV will be showing a live Hana Kimura tribute show put on by her mother, Kiyoko Kimura. Have a look in if you can

I was able to watch the Vice Dark Side Of The Ring episode on Collision in Korea, the two-night joint NJPW & WCW show from May Day Stadium in Pyongyang, North Korea, on 4/28 & 4/29/1995, as it aired Thursday. It will hit YouTube here pretty soon. I am working on a podcast project about this documentary, and the (WCW version of the**) show itself, with the good lads at the Days Of Thunder podcast, so I won't talk too much here, but I will say a few things about it:

I did appreciate the detail here, as well as being able to get an interview with Antonio Inoki for this, especially as he was the principal driver of this show happening. I did also like that they took time to detail Inoki's mentor, and the "father of puroresu," Rikidozan, who himself was a North Korean national by birth. I did not appreciate the mythical pathos they added to the death of Rikidozan, which by all accounts was a random street fight with yakuza over a perceived insult (stepping on Rikidozan's shoe). I also felt they could have done a better job explaining the situation between Japan and North Korea at the time. When the event was first proposed to the NJPW roster, Scott Norton recounts Masahiro Chono telling Norton that "they want us dead," but it took until introducing former CNN foreign correspondent Mike Chinoy nearly halfway through the documentary to (briefly) explain the brutal colonialism that Japan wreaked on North Korea in the first part of the 20th century.

Also, as salacious as DSOTR can get, I am very surprised one of the most famous rumors/stories about this show did not get discussed, the internet wrestling legend that Kensuke Sasaki and Akira Hokuto were, erm, Quite Vocal when they were together, which of course did eventually lead to their marriage four months later which continues to this very day. But that was also part of another critique I had, which is, they mainly focused on the WCW part of the events, when this was an NJPW promoted show. The way it was told on DSOTR, the only Japanese wrestlers there were Antonio Inoki, Shinya Hashimoto, Akira Hokuto and Bull Nakano. I'd love to hear more from the NJPW side of things, besides how proud Inoki was of this political stunt that did not get him re-elected to the Diet anyway.

Overall, I do recommend watching this when and how you can, because it is absolutely bonkers. I will definitely keep you posted on when the podcast project for this drops. ** - I've tried looking for the NJPW version and have failed so far. NJPWWorld only has two matches from this, Antonio Inoki v. Ric Flair, and Akira Hokuto v. Bull Nakano. The WCW version is not officially released, even on WWE Network, so yeah search the internet to see it.

We finally have an update on Shooter! That is, Shota Umino. Earlier in the week, RevPro's official Twitter had a tweet saying This Summer, showing Umino in not only his white/pink Tanahashi-esque tights, but holding his Death Riders jacket from Jon Moxley, that Shota retweeted, making this his first tweet since September 2019. Two days later, a hype video appeared with footage of Shooter, including performing Death Rider. Now a Sports Illustrated article is claiming that Shooter was supposed to have reunited with Mox on the NJPW Strong episode that had Mox & Chris Dickinson face Yuji Nagata & Ren Narita, but Umino had an unspecified injury preventing that. (They further say that Mox v. Nagata’s IWGP US title match was originally set for Strong but Tony Khan convinced NJPW to hold it on AEW Dynamite.) Umino's last match listed on Cagematch was on 3/14/2020 in ATTACK! Wrestling in Cardiff, Wales, on the winning side of a 6-man tag match with Kyle Fletcher & Kid Lykos II defeating Shigehiro Irie, Chief Deupty Dunne & Los Federales Santos, Jr. It's great to have him back wrestling again, and I hope we get that reunion with Moxley soon enough too.

As an update to an item from an earlier post, it appears that the Ren Narita v. Royce Isaacs match that was teased but then not aired on AEW Dark this past Tuesday will actually be on AEW Dark: Elevation this coming Monday instead. Also part of that will be approximately 35 other matches (I only slightly kid), one of those being Rocky Romero v. JD Drake. This usually drops on YouTube at 7pm EDT / 6pm CDT Mondays.

This past Thursday on Impact, a video package showed that Satoshi Kojima would be appearing on next week's episode. This will be Kojima's first time ever wrestling in Impact under any name, as the last time NJPW and TNA were working together, Kojima was still away in All Japan Pro Wrestling. No word as to what he will be doing or whom he will be wrestling.

Also on Impact, Juice Robinson & David Finlay Jr. successfully defended the Impact World Tag Team titles against Ace Austin & Madman Fulton... before getting blindsided by two members of the Violent By Design unit (in this case, ECW veteran Rhino and former AJPW Triple Crown champion + cancer beater Joe Doering) with whatever Impact's version of a Anytime Anywhere Challenge is, and took the belts from FinJuice. They claimed FinJuice were going back to Japan, but, erm, who knows if that's the case or if it was for a time period when Wrestle Grand Slam was still a thing that was happening.

Also also, it seems Don Callis is no longer in any executive capacity at Impact. This is a little significant as it seems it was Callis who opened the negotiations back up for Impact to work with NJPW. Of course, lately he's spent more time as an on-screen heel manager for Kenny Omega, the Good Brothers and now the Young Bucks on both AEW and Impact programming. We'll see how much longer Kenny Omega's belt collector shtick goes on for with Callis no longer part of creative or management.

And that is actually it for now! Yipes!

[straykidsupdate]

Stray Kids Aim to Reach A Global Audience with Relatable Take on K-pop: 'Stray is Okay'

“Not all those who wander are lost,” is a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring, but it may as well be a slogan for K-pop boy band Stray Kids.

The act has spent the last few years carving out a niche for themselves in the K-pop world, gathering and inspiring their fans, known collectively as Stay. With several producers in the team, Stray Kids have released a multitude of albums since then that feature songs that are both riotous and introspective, energetic and motivational. The eight-member act, which started out in 2018 as a nonet but saw one member depart last year, recently completed their Clé album trilogy, and debuted their first-ever all-English songs earlier this year amid a world tour that will see them hit up dozens of cities across Asia, North America, and Europe.

While in New York City for the first show of their 2020 District 9: Unlock World Tour, the members of Stray Kids sat down with Billboard backstage ahead of their concert at Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden to discuss their career, the Clé album series, and their artistic vision.

How’s New York treating you guys?

Bang Chan: It’s like our third time in New York, but every time we find something new. Hyunjin and Seungmin went to Times Square and they took a lot of photos and stuff. Every time we come, it’s always great.

How do you feel about 2020 so far?

[Members gasp exaggeratedly.]

Felix: Excited. What else? Not only excited, but we look forward to 2020 because it is our first world tour. Bang Chan: True. Felix: We really want to show our much improved sides. We haven’t really shown much of what we’ve prepared so we’re really looking forward to showing that at the concert.

How do you feel you’ve grown since you performed in the U.S. last year?

Bang Chan: Well, I got a little taller. [Members laugh] I’m joking… Throughout the years, without even us knowing, we’ve improved skill wise and just getting used to the stage. Just the fact that we’re able to do a world tour with our own concert is an improvement itself, so I guess 2020 is another year for a lot of improvement so we’re getting ready for that.

What are you looking forward to the most on this tour?

Felix: Meeting our fans, it’s been such a long time since we met them. We do look forward to meeting them and seeing how cheerful they are. It’s very memorable. Bang Chan: It’s been around seven months since we last came to the U.S. Seven, eight months.

I.N: It’s really exciting because we’re going to a lot of different, new cities.

You just released “Double Knot” and “Levanter” in English. Why did you opt to release these two songs as your first English-language releases?

Bang Chan: I suppose it was an opportunity for us, because we’ve never released a full English track. But to have this opportunity to do that -- especially because there’s a lot of international Stays as well -- getting closer to them through these full English songs was really a great opportunity and chance for us.

Was there a reason you picked these songs in particular? 

Bang Chan: Well, they are our most recent releases. But because, especially with “Double Knot,” sound wise it’s really strong and confident, and we wanted to share that with Stay. And “Levanter,” it’s kind of got a different vibe to “Double Knot” so it’s the perfect one-plus-one package. 

Was it a different experience for Stray Kids as a team to approach creating songs in English? Some members speak English and there is an ample mount of English in your songs, but linguistic differences always affect things, so was it at all difficult?  

Hyunjin: Because my rap was all in English and it had a lot of speed to it, it was a little bit challenging. After recording it and listening to it, it felt really refreshing. It sounded like something new even though it was challenging to get through the recording at first. But after doing that, and doing the whole song in English, it felt like we were taking a step closer to our global fans. Felix: Getting to perform in English [on Kelly & Ryan and Good Day New York] was pretty cool. Very new. Very, “Oh wow, I’m not singing in Korean. Now I’m doing it in English.” It seems pretty cool. It was interesting. Bang Chan: I wrote the lyrics for “Double Knot,” cause the Korean version these two boys [points to Changbin and Han, who are credited with Bang Chan as co-lyricists on that version] wrote such good lyrics and I wanted to keep the meaning. So I was really trying my best to save the meanings they originally had, and try to translate it as close as possible without ruining the rap flow or the melody and stuff. It was a bit hard at first but luckily the song came out well, the boys recorded it really well. I was kind of proud of that. Thanks everyone.

In many of your songs, you sing motivationally about being yourself, expressing yourself, and share the intent to go towards goals and dreams. Why are these themes that you revisit time and time again?

Changbin: We tend to write about songs with that type of theme because a lot of people in the world, just like us, have goals and dreams that they’re running towards. So by writing songs that can relate to these people, we hope to give them strength and support through that, as well as give that to ourselves too.

Are there any lyrics from your songs that you’re thinking about a lot lately?

Changbin: I didn’t write this part in “Miroh,” but I think about it a lot. “It’s not hard, in this rough jungle/ It was me who ran into it, I’m okay.” Han: In “Grow Up,” that hook part where we say “you’re doing fine,” that’s something that I think about a lot because it gives me a lot of strength. I.N: I didn’t write this, but in “My Side” there’s a lyric- Bang Chan: [translating}: “I hope these lyrics touch your ears.” I.N: I think about that a lot.

Based on that lyric... How do you feel about the fact that maybe the lyrics aren’t reaching your listeners ears, since many don’t understand Korean or, with the new songs, English without a translation? 

Bang Chan: For me, it’s pretty funny. And they [the members] may not know this as well. But sometimes I listen to Indian music, sometimes I listen to Spanish music as well, usually from Spain. Honestly, I have no idea what they’re saying. But I dunno, just the vibe of the song and how the person actually sings it, I get a lot of different feelings as well. That kind of makes me want to find out what the lyrics actually mean, and what the singer really wants to say through the song. I do understand that there may be Stays that may just listen to our songs but not understand the lyrics, and I completely understand how that feels as well. So just want to put that out there. [Laughs] Han: People may not understand the message completely but, while there’s strength obviously in lyrics there is also strength in the melody and just the song in general as well. We do think about that as we perform and sing these songs because there are different ways you can gain strength through music, the lyrics are just one element.

In the Clé album series, you went kind of grittier, darker, sometimes industrial, and just generally more experimental than some of your prior releases. Where did you draw inspiration from?

Bang Chan: I think you’re probably talking about “Side Effects,” and also “Maze of Memories” which is really gritty as well. For “Maze of Memories,” it was pretty fast. We wrote it pretty fast. The lyrics go really deep. But we wanted to try a really raw -- If you listen to the song, the rhythm changes, the BPM changes, the vibes of the song changes, the instruments change as well. I dunno. We just felt like through this Clé series, especially Clé 1 where “Miroh” talks about just going for a new challenge with a lot of confidence. With that being said, we wanted to make a song like “Maze of Memories” really experimental.

You said it took a short period of time to write the song, but what does that mean exactly? How long is your songwriting process usually like that that was considered fast? 

Han: It’s always different, every song. On average maybe 4-5 hours. Bang Chan: If everything flows smoothly. And we have to do the guide as well. With a guide, like six-plus hours.

You talked a bit about what you wanted for Clé 1, but now that you’ve finished the entire series, what do you want listeners to take away from the sonic era as a whole? 

Changbin: We told a lot of stories through the Clé series. There were a lot of moments where we had a lot of confidence, and ones where there’s a lot of confusion, a lot of thoughts running through our head. A lot of people are going through that same thing as well, when they’re going through a lot of confusing thoughts in their heads. So we wanted to relate to other people going through that. I was kind of hoping that when people listen to this series, they can overcome those moments together [with us] by relating to each other. 

Are these feelings that you’re feeling as well?

Changbin: Of course. I feel like everybody goes through that at some point. 

You released a lot of music videos throughout the Clé series. How do you feel the visual elements help relay your lyrical messages, if at all?

Bang Chan: Last year, we had so many music videos. But if I had to pick some, for example “Side Effects” itself has a lot of... Seungmin: ...Easter eggs. Bang Chan: Yea, easter eggs. Especially for “Levanter,” it has a lot of easter eggs. Everything has its own meaning. I guess we know what it’s really about, and it is kind of difficult but it’s always fun to know what Stays think about it as well, because Stays do have a hard time trying to really solve what the music video is actually talking about. Even at a fansign event, they’ll be like, “So what does this video mean?” Like, “No, you gotta find out for yourself.” It’s kind of really fun to just know that Stays are trying to solve what the music videos are actually talking about. Changbin: It’s like, “You should guess.” Felix: It’s a challenge. Bang Chan: It’s like Inception. Cause there may be a meaning that we want to put into the music video as well, but for some people they could take it in a totally different way, but that could be their own answer if you know what I mean.

You shared your “Mixtape: Gone Days” at the end of last year, what did you want people to reflect on when listening to the song?

Bang Chan: It was a word play on “Gone Days,” as in days that have passed by and “kkondae(꼰대).” Seungmin: A little joke in Korean. Bang Chan: Yea, it’s a joke in Korean saying like, “old people.” But what I wanted to say was just, you know, the whole thing, really shortened, is, “The past is the past and, you know don’t really worry on the past too much and just focus on now. The future will come based on what you do now.” I think that’s what I wanted to say.

Was that a message you wanted to give your Stays at the end of 2019?

Bang Chan: I suppose so, because even if a lot of things have happened... Especially in 2019 there were quite a lot of things that happened. But in the end, they will be memories to us and we might learn a lot from them. Those days aren’t going to come back. Because we’ve learned so much from what has happened, we can focus on how to improve a better feature. I think that’s what I wanted to tell Stays. 

We’re moving into 2020, and you mentioned that quite a lot happened in 2019, and changes often lead to stress and anxiety so how do you face any hardships that come your way? Any advice for fans?

 Felix: I do feel that there will always be hardships, and it’s not always easy at first for everyone to overcome a situation. But, then again, once you have the help and support from someone, or even if you try yourself, eventually there will be a time when you can overcome that loop or that hope, that wall. I always think that there’s positivity, and there’s always a chance to break through. Always have a good ending. I don’t worry too much. I always think that it’s a challenge and I’ll be able to overcome it. 

You have released a lot of “Mixtape” tracks, both on and off albums, so is there any difference between “Mixtape” songs versus non-“Mixtape” songs? Is there an obvious thing that I’m just missing? 

Bang Chan: Uhhh…. It’s not obvious. I think the slight difference that it is, is that we can be a bit more experimental with mixtapes. More comfortable, freer. I think that’s it. 

You don’t think your other music is experimental?

Bang Chan: Oh, no! Like “Side Effects” was crazy experimental. I think, augh. What is the difference?? It’s hard to explain. I guess it depends on how you package it, I think. Give me a moment... 

You finished the Clé series, so what are you working on now? 

Bang Chan: There’s a lot. Changbin: We are making a lot of new stuff, and we can’t go into too much detail but we will say that it’s going to be another chance for us to show people, Stays, a lot of different sides to us so you can expect a lot from that.

Your name is “Stray Kids,” and in English “stray” means extra, lost, wandering, things like that. So a few years into your career, touring the world, do you feel that you’re still “Stray” Kids?

Hyunjin: Because we’re “Stray” there are so many roads that we can take, there are many options. Because we’re kind of lost. Because of that, we can also create our own paths, making roads that have not been taken yet thing. Being “stray” isn’t a bad thing. Bang Chan: I want to continue off of Hyunjin. People may think that “stray” isn’t a very positive word, but through being Stray Kids we’d like to make that being stray is okay.

To end off on something kind of fun, what is each Stray Kids member’s song pick for a Stray Kids playlist?

I.N: I���m going to say two. “My Side” and “Victory Song.” Bang Chan: Oh no, they’ll take everything away. Ah… [Felix laughs evilly.] Lee Know: “Sunshine” and “19.” Seungmin: For me, I’m going to pick “You Can STAY.” Felix: I’m going to say “Levanter.” Han: “Levanter” and “Stop.” Bang Chan: I got it, I got it! “Miroh!” Felix: I left you that one. Changbin: “Gone Days.” Hyunjin: I like “Voices.”

This interview was conducted in both Korean and English, and edited for clarity.

[shining-red-diamond]

Until My Very Last Breath

Words: 1.6k

Pairing: MJ x Diana (OC)

Rating: PG-13

Genre: angst, fluff towards the end

Warnings: mentions blood, guns, a robbery, and mentions for surgical procedures

A/N: Italics mean they’re speaking in Korean.

March 5, 2018. 7:21AM

“I’ll be home before dinner,” MJ promised before kissing his wife goodbye.

As soon as he had closed the door behind him, Diana watched him through their bathroom window to make sure he was out of sight. Once his car had pulled out into the street, she immediately went into the bathroom and pulled out the pregnancy tests she had hidden in the cabinet that held her feminine products. After she had taken the three tests –one digital, one regular, and one strip- she waited patiently for the results while she planned MJ’s birthday dinner.

Diana would surprise him at the studio later to celebrate with the rest of the ASTRO members for a while, and then bring him back home to have his favorite meal for dinner before giving him his birthday cake. She already had a gift picked out for him, but ever since she was starting to not feel like herself, she knew that they might have an addition to their little family. Even their beagle Mocha seemed to detect something was off.

The alarm on Diana’s phone went off, and she stood up from the floor to peak at the results. Her intuitions had been right. She was pregnant. She and MJ were going to be parents.

In her excitement, she nearly called her husband but stopped herself. One, she wanted to wait until later at dinner to tell him; and two, she noticed Mocha lifting her head in the direction of the kitchen.

Mocha always like to relax on the bed when Diana and MJ weren’t on it, but when someone that they knew entered the house she always lifted her head before jumping off to greet whoever was at the door. However, Mocha just sat there and began to growl after about a minute.

Thinking that MJ had came back to retrieve a forgotten item, Diana just shushed the dog and hid the tests in her bathroom drawer to go see what was going on. She heard some rustling but brushed it off as her husband knocking something over.

“Myungjun?” she called before turning the corner to the kitchen.

-

The song ended, and the boys finished the choreo in their ending poses. After a few seconds, they all could relax and take five before rehearsing once more. A comeback was coming up, and they were working very hard on preparations. MJ was giving his 110%, but of course, he wanted to go home and be with Diana. That would be the best birthday present he could ever want.

As soon as he and the other members could take a break, the eldest member immediately went to get some water and check his phone. He pulled the bottle out of his bag and took a satisfying gulp. Checking his phone, he only got one text from his mother wishing him a happy birthday and requesting that he and Diana come have dinner with her and his father soon. MJ chuckled and replied back, promising he would.

“MJ-hyung!” Sanha called from another room. “Can you come here for a minute?”

“Okay!” he called back. Once he slid his phone into his pocket and his water in his bag, he stood back up and followed where he figured Sanha’s voice came from.

He noticed that one of the meeting rooms was pitch dark and decided to investigate. It was a cliché horror film move, but his curiosity had peaked. Tiny lights burned from the center of the room and realized that his members had surprised him on his birthday.

MJ burst out into laughter as they all sang “Happy Birthday” to him. After making his wish, he blew out his candles; and MJ took a few pictures to post to social media later. He was sad his wife wasn’t there, but he knew he’d see her when he got home.

After laughing at Sanha smearing some frosting on Moonbin’s face, MJ noticed his phone going off non-stop. When he checked, tons of texts were flooding in like a tsunami, mostly from his and Diana’s neighbor Mrs. Jung.

Myungjun, please call me.

Something has happened.

Where are you?

Diana’s in the emergency room.

MJ’s heart dropped at the most recent one, and immediately rushed out of the room as he called his neighbor. She immediately picked up.

“What’s going on?” he asked. “What’s happened to my wife?”

“Diana’s been taken to the emergency room,” she explained, her voice sounding like she had been crying. “Your house had been broken into, and the police have ruled it as a robbery gone wrong. Whoever broke into your house probably didn’t realize your wife was still home. They shot her.”

Fear and anxiety paralyzed MJ. One of his worst nightmares had come true, and he didn’t know if the love of his life had been taken from him. He could feel the tears push though.

Not Diana, he begged. Not my Chae Sarang.

-

MJ rushed into the emergency room and didn’t stop until he was in front of the nurse’s desk. His sudden movement caused her to jump a little.

“Can you please tell where Diana Kim’s room is?” he begged, his voice cracking as he was close to tears.

“Are you a relative?” she asked.

“I’m her husband.”

The nurse checked her records, and said, “She’s still in surgery right now, but when she’s out we’ll bring you back here for you to see her.”

“Please.”

Another nurse was brought in and helped him to the waiting room. He was so frozen in sorrow that he could hardly move at all. Thankfully, his other members, including Euni and Mrs. Jung had come by for support.

“She’s still in surgery,” MJ sobbed as Eunwoo gave him a tissue and Mrs. Jung sat down by him. “She wasn’t shot in the heart or the head, was she?”

Mrs. Jung shook her head. “She was shot in the arm. They think that whoever had the gun got scared and just fired before fleeing. I heard a gunshot before I heard Mocha howling loudly. When I came in and saw what had happened, I called for help right away.”

“I appreciate you checking on the matter,” MJ nodded. “Is Mocha okay?”

“My husband is watching her.”

JinJin gave him a pat and said, “We’ll be here for as long as you want us to be.”

The eldest said nothing but nodded.

The next few minutes seemed to drag on. His head hurt from crying, but he didn’t care. He wanted his wife to be okay. He wanted to cuddle her, hold her, anything. His mind raced with multiple scenarios. What if she gets an infection? What if she has to have her arm amputated? What if she only has a few months to live? What if-

“Family of Diana Kim?” a voice broke the silence.

MJ looked up to find the doctor standing at the doorway with a clipboard in hand. He stood and greeted the doctor with a bow.

“I’m Kim Myungjun,” he said. “Diana’s my wife. Is she alright?”

The doctor gave him a reassuring smile and said, “She’s going to be just fine. We got the bullet out, cleaned the wound, and stitched her up.”

MJ released a sigh of relief.

“They’re very lucky, too,” the doctor continued. “The bullet hit very close to an artery in Diana’s arm, otherwise she would have bled to death.”

They?

“I’m sorry. Did you say ‘they?’”

“Yes. Did you know your wife was pregnant?”

Speechless was all MJ was feeling. He had noticed that Diana hadn’t been feeling like herself lately, but now it all made sense. Her sickness in mornings, her appetite changing, her moods being weird, everything.

“Congratulations,” the doctor smiled. “She’s awake now, if you’d like to see her.”

He was soon lead to a hall that housed multiple rooms on each side of it, and Diana’s room was the third one on the right. Upon entering, the lights were dim, but a bright one illuminated his wife sitting up in her bed. It pained him to see her arm wrapped in a sling, but he knew it was temporary.

“Diana,” he whispered her name.

She looked up, her eyes meeting his, and a smile appeared on her face in an instant.

“Hey, baby,” she greeted as he bent down to hug and kiss her. “I’m so sorry this happened. I never wanted this to happen on your birthday.”

MJ shook his head before pulling back and sitting on the edge of her bed. “Don’t blame yourself, please. Neither of us knew what was going to happen today.”

He then noticed the pictures sitting in his wife’s lap. Upon a closer inspection, he realized they were ultrasound pictures. Of course they were of Diana’s womb, but it showed something small and bean shaped in it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pointing out the photos.

“I found out right after you left for practice this morning,” she explained as she handed them to him.“I was going to surprise you at your birthday dinner tonight.”

Turning his head, MJ saw that Diana wasn’t meeting his eyes. He lifted her head for her to focus on him. “I’m just happy you’re still here with me,” he whispered. “You and our child.”

His hand went to her stomach, and his wife smiled softly.

“How’s your arm?” MJ asked.

“There’s no bullet, thanks to the surgery,” Diana replied. “But they said I suffered some nerve damage, so I will be starting physical therapy next week. I’m also going to be taking time off from work until they say I can do things normally again.”

Without a word, MJ pulled his into a warm and loving hug. Pressing a kiss to her head, he whispered, “I’ve promised before, and I’ll do it again; but I’m going to protect you until my very least breath. And that extends to our baby as well.”

-

Tags: @daybreakx @yeaimfishboi @keeper-of-the-uwus

[bangwoolofbangtan]

How BTS and Its ARMY Could Change the Music Industry

By Rebecca Davis

It was just a year ago that BTS’ Love Yourself: Speak Yourself tour was selling out stadiums all over the world. Each night of the 20-date trek, which grossed $116 million, a total of nearly a million ticket buyers around the planet witnessed a thumping opening liturgy at the top of the K-pop band’s set in the form of the song “Dionysus.”

As flames shot up from the stage, seven figures emerged in supplicant white amid Greek columns and a long altar. Rapper RM (full name: Kim Nam-joon) led the way, twirling the staff of the titular mythical deity, as group mates Jin (Kim Seok-jin), SUGA (Min Yoon-gi), j-hope (Jung Ho-seok), Jimin (Park Ji-min), V (Kim Tae-hyung) and Jung Kook (Jeon Jung-kook) flanked him in a display of choreographed precision. The crowd, reaching peak pandemonium in a night full of deafening screams, made willing maenads and satyrs, transported by the band’s presence. An anthem about rebirth and self-discovery through the ecstatic collective experience of music was received as intended — as if from the gods.

Idol worship is by no means a new concept in pop music — remember John Lennon’s provocative statement in 1966 that the Beatles were “more popular than Jesus”? — but there’s something about BTS that turns fandom up to 11. The global brigade of BTS acolytes is collectively known by the acronym ARMY, short for Adorable Representative MC for Youth, a moniker chosen by Big Hit Entertainment, the company that launched the band. ARMY comprises the lion’s share of a Twitter audience that’s 29.2 million followers strong, more than triple that of any other K-pop group, and growing daily. BTS’ Instagram presence of 30.6 million followers (also rising rapidly), is trailed closely only by YG Entertainment’s Blackpink, at 29.3 million.

“It is because ARMY exists that we exist,” Jin says.

To understand the scope of BTS Inc.: An influential 2018 study by the Hyundai Research Institute estimated that the ripple effects from the boy band’s ecosystem contribute roughly $4.9 billion annually to South Korea’s GDP, on track to generate more value over 10 years than the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. The study gauged that in 2017, one in 13 visitors to the country came for BTS-related pilgrimages. That ratio may soon be growing. Spotify has reported a 300% spike in new listeners to the group since the Aug. 21 release of “Dynamite,” BTS’ first all-English single.

The BTS boom has also driven Big Hit to launch an IPO in October projected to raise some $811 million. (Each BTS member will be awarded shares worth approximately $8 million.) Of Big Hit’s revenue in 2019, 97.4% was generated by BTS, including $130 million worth of T-shirts, cosmetics, dolls and other merchandise.

The numbers are no accident. The South Korean government began investing strategically in the arts and the digital economy to help steer the country out of the 1997 Asian financial crisis. On the heels of “Parasite” sweeping the Oscars, the worldwide success of BTS may be another sign to the West that Seoul might be the center of a new force in creative production.

Big Hit, and the K-pop music bus­iness in general, have proved just how much a band, and a company, can prosper through a direct-to-consumer relationship, driven by digital platforms and dedicated apps with lots of behind-the-scenes content that keeps fans emotionally involved. It’s engagement on a scale that no Western artist has ever achieved, despite decades of radio promotion and the best retail strategy.

For the global music industry, the band’s success has meant a serious rethink of how a record company — in BTS’ case, Sony Music’s Columbia Records, which distributes the group’s music in the U.S. (though the band is not signed to the label) — builds and maintains a fan base. You could almost look at it as a collaborative arrangement: As music is being made in real time, decision-makers and strategists at Big Hit and Columbia are taking in and processing the comments and views of ARMY and pivoting accordingly.

“It creates a self-sustaining engine that, eventually, becomes hits perpetuating more hits,” says Neil Jacobson, a former president of Geffen Records who runs Hallwood, a talent agency for producers and songwriters. “A label wants that fan connection happening all the time so that they can consistently release and promote music. But in the past, there had always been intermediaries that labels had to talk to in order to manifest exposure. Now, there is a mechanism for an artist to speak directly to their fans. That didn’t exist before, and it has turbocharged the process.”

It’s all led to this “Dynamite” mo­ment: The single has sold nearly 700,000 adjusted song units since its release — good for a gold record certification by the RIAA. The song is quickly becoming the band’s biggest radio hit to date (without a featured artist, it’s worth noting), and represents a significant breakout beyond its core audience. After that, will Grammys follow?

“They check all the boxes,” says Jenna Andrews, the vocal producer on “Dynamite” who also serves as an executive at Sony’s Records label. “I’ve never seen anything like BTS in terms of singing and dancing. This is just an indication of what’s yet to come. They’re going to take over the world.”

Kathryn Lofton, Yale University professor of religious and American studies and author of the book “Consuming Religion,” says that the bond BTS has with its ARMY is different from the typical singer-fan connection because “BTS’ driving commitment is to their relationship to the fan group, to the manufacturing of their communal joy for you to participate in.” It’s why she views BTS as “a religious project; they are seeking to make a togetherness that you can’t stop wanting to be a part of.”

Lofton also makes a point of distinguishing ARMY from the groupies associated with Beatlemania. Sure, BTS fans know the hagiography and backstory of each member, but everything about the band’s output prioritizes the collective over the individual.

The band itself has certainly leaned into the comparison with the Fab Four. For instance, it re-created the iconic moment of the Beatles’ 1964 debut at the Ed Sullivan Theater last May on “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” — in a black-and-white segment that showed the K-pop band performing as mop tops in tailored suits.

But while John, Paul, George and Ringo had spotlight moments of their own, both within and outside the band — songs they wrote individually, causes they took up personally — with BTS, it’s all for one all the time. Unlike many other groups, the members share single, collective Twitter and Instagram accounts, and release even solo material through their shared channel. Accomplishments are never spoken of as belonging to any one group member but rather as the work of the team (and, of course, ARMY). In their videos, they often begin in solo shots but end up together.

This all strays from the typical tropes of Western boy bands including New Edition and ’N Sync, which have all proffered “star” frontmen. The thinking for decades had been that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

But BTS’ selfless approach didn’t happen randomly: The group was envisioned as a collective to heal the alienation that ails us in the digital age. Its name — “BTS” stands for Beyond the Scene — is an invitation to fans to join them offstage via almost daily video content featuring moments in their intimate if immaculately curated private lives on YouTube, Twitter and Big Hit app Weverse.

In 2011, Big Hit’s revenues from its then-main acts, Lim Jeong-hee and boy band 2AM, were plummeting. As the shadow of bankruptcy loomed, Bang Si-hyuk, now chairman, and Lenzo Yoon, global CEO, felt the company needed a total revamp. They stopped all normal work for months and called on employees to perform market research instead, seeking a new vision and formula.

Bang describes the conclusion they reached in a recent Harvard Business School case study of the firm written by Anita Elberse and Lizzy Woodham: “You would think that with the development of digital technology, people can come together more easily, but we found that it is actually more likely that people will feel more isolated. And so we need to find a way to help them, inspire them and heal them.”

Reflecting on the choice to develop a group that satiated this need, Yoon says in the study: “I think back then in 2011, with the conclusions we drew, we found the wild ginseng, as we say in Korea.”

On “Dynamite,” Big Hit worked with Columbia to further cultivate that ginseng. Pitched by Jacobson to label chairman Ron Perry, who guided and essentially A&R’d the song, worked to radio by Columbia executive VP and head of promotion Peter Gray (who has broken hits for Dua Lipa, Kelly Clarkson and Kings of Leon), and all overseen and informed by the years of management savvy of Big Hit, it’s the kind of artist development that was a music business calling card and that has lost its place in the fast-paced world of digital releases.

Radio exposure is not considered as impactful in Korea as it is in the U.S., notes RM, and so BTS — “maybe naively” — didn’t hit the ground in the U.S. thinking, ‘What can boost our airplay?’” the last time around. Still, RM notes that the band has “100% trust” in Columbia, Big Hit and the greater BTS community. “ARMY and the label are all trying their best,” he says, recounting how in the band’s early days, fans would send bouquets to radio DJs to get their songs on the air.

“Our goal is to try to show ourselves, expose ourselves to ARMY as much as possible,” adds Jin. “There are a lot of platforms now.”

In some ways, BTS’ ARMY has grown into its own force and brought the group along for the ride. In the world of K-pop, the expectation is that entertainers stay far away from politics, but as the genre has grown more global, it has begun to reach a transnational cohort to whom matters of social justice are top of mind.

When Variety broke the news on June 6 that BTS and Big Hit had donated $1 million to Black Lives Matter, BTS fans quickly flocked to #Match­AMillion through a link sent out by the fan charity Twitter account @OneInAnARMY. They hit the financial target in just 25 hours.

Erika Overton, a 40-year-old Georgia resident and one of the co-founders of the account, says of the experience: “It was one of the craziest nights I’ve ever seen. I was on Twitter all night. We were refreshing the page every couple of minutes, going, ‘Oh, my God …’” Witnessing ARMY’s U.S. battalion bring the message of Black Lives Matter to fans in other parts of the world who were unfamiliar with the movement was a “big educational moment that was really, really beautiful to see,” says Overton, who is African American.

What Overton saw was facilitated by networks of fan translators who also turn Big Hit’s Korean content into dozens of languages. Other ARMY groups provide counseling or tutoring services, invent themed recipes or write informational threads on everything from the history of the music industry and how charts work to Jungian philosophy, which deeply informs the BTS albums.

Some fan accounts have even become registered nonprofits, with dozens of administrators spread around the world putting in nearly full-time work on top of their day jobs.

In addition to Black Lives Matter, BTS this year donated $1 million to Crew Nation, a Live Nation campaign to support live entertainment personnel impacted by the coronavirus pandemic. And it has continued its campaign with UNICEF to end child violence. But the band members are reticent to take on the role of global activists. “I don’t consider ourselves as political,” says Suga. “We aren’t trying to send out some grandiose message. We would never see ARMY as a conduit for our voice or our opinion. ARMY speaks their own initiatives, and we always respect their opinions, as we respect any other person’s.”

RM, on the other hand, keeps the door open for a kind of apolitical politics based more on actions than words: “We are not political figures, but as they say, everything is political eventually. Even a pebble can be political.”

The scale of its influence is not something that the group takes lightly. “Our [‘Dynamite��] video has seen 80 million, almost 90 million views in just a day. In a way, that’s very weighty — and almost frightening,” RM told Variety the day after its debut, explaining that the balancing act is often one of how to juggle the burdens of being both role models and artists.

Some Korean scholars feel that BTS’ statement in support of BLM shows how ARMY is actually out ahead of Big Hit, spontaneously enacting its own initiatives to which the company must then respond. “Big Hit thinks they can create a company-dominated [approach to] fandom, but fans are agents doing only what they want, not what they don’t want,” says ethnomusicologist Kim Jungwon of Yonsei University in Seoul. For Kim, the fluidity of ARMY’s unplanned, collective responses “is the possible answer to BTS’ success.”

Candace Epps-Robertson, an ARMY member and assistant professor of rhetoric at the University of North Carolina, says the affirmational content of the group’s lyrics and videos may sound simple, but lay the groundwork for millions of fans to learn to engage critically with each other and develop a transcultural sense of global citizenship. “The message of ‘you, yourself, are enough, and you should love who you are and start with that — I think people miss how radical that can actually be,” she says. “We can’t overlook the power of that as an invitation to people to be part of this community.”

The Grammys, where BTS is eligible for record of the year, among other categories (nomination ballots for the 2021 awards, slated to air Jan. 31, went out on Sept. 28), provide a chance for the group to gain industry recognition as a mainstream contender, not just a K-pop act.

Asked why the Grammys matter so much to them, Suga seems to bristle a bit at the question. “I grew up watching American award shows, so obviously we all know and I know the importance of the Grammys,” he says. “It’s a dream anyone working in music has.”

RM says having the goal of a Grammy, an industry-voted award, “motivates us to work harder. As Suga said, if you are in music, the Grammy Awards are something that you cannot help but to look toward and set as an eventual goal.”

BTS’ global influence will soon collide with national duty, and a Grammy Award or three could help maintain its momentum. The band members all have to participate in Korea’s mandatory military service by the age of 28 — and four of them are within two years of that threshold. “Big Hit really wants to target the Grammys before [the members] go into the army,” says an industry source privy to the company’s marketing plans, adding that, from Big Hit’s perspective, it would be best for business if the boys all perform their service at the same time.

The group renewed its contract with Big Hit in 2018, which commits the members to another seven years with the firm, but the army service issue could knock off two years within that time span. A company statement ahead of Big Hit’s IPO shows that Jin, the oldest group member (he’ll be 28 in December), must conscript by 2022 even if he gets an extension of the draft deadline. The statement discloses that plans to prerecord content to be released over the course of any army tenure are being discussed.

South Korea officially changed its rules in July to allow draftees access to once-banned cellphones on weeknights and weekends, meaning BTS could theoretically continue some interaction with fans. However, the taking of photos, video or audio recordings remains prohibited. (Historically, most Korean celebs have fallen silent during their service.)

Soldiering aside, with the push from Big Hit’s IPO, multiple TV appearances — including an ongoing weeklong takeover of “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” — the chart success of “Dynamite” and growing Grammy buzz, BTS is poised to make some serious noise this fall, which is saying a lot for a group known to shake the decibel scale with a wave or a wink. But perhaps the most significant measure of its ascent is underscored by the frequent speculation of the band’s place in a new moment for the music industry.

“What would it mean not just to include the sound of Korea in the annals of world music, but to actually propose that the South Korean sound is the next chapter?” posits Yale’s Lofton. “What if BTS are actually the next Beatles?”

©variety.com

[music-obsess]

No Matter What.

Johnny Seo Sister AU

1.3k words.

Disclaimer I wrote this in 2018 so it’s based on ot18. I have a a few WayVNCT stories written since then but this was just a copy and paste from my Wattpad.

Credit to owner of the GIF.

I was young when he left. I hadn't seen him since his debut. But now, now I get to visit him. Well visit Seoul and maybe run into him. I begged my parents not to tell him of my plans. Last he saw me I was about 12 and still learning English, then he moved here to prepare for debut. Now I'm 17. I managed to graduate a year early since I took so many extra classes my sophomore and junior year. So as a gift I was sent to explore our home country, well their home country... you see I'm adopted I was adopted when I was 8, my birth parents died in a car accident and since they were both an only child I had no one to go with. I was born in Latin America but moved to the United States when I was seven. Ever since I've lived in Chicago.

As I get of the plane I put my mouth mask on and go to pick up my bag. Once I take my suitcase I look for the girl that's supposed to pick me up. She the daughter of one of my moms friends, works at SM and has promised my mom to take care of me while I'm here.

"Hi are you Ocean?" I hear a voice say from behind me.

"Yes, are you Sofia?" I asked the lady standing in front of me.

"Yes. That would be me." She says. "Do you need help with your bag?"

"No, no it's okay." I say. We star walking to the exit. We reach the apartment and settle down for the night.

The next morning I wake up rather early do to jet lag and make some breakfast for me and Sofia.

"You didn't have to do this." She says walking into the kitchen.

"I wanted. Think of it as a thank you for letting me stay here." I say.

We eat breakfast and I help her clean the dishes. By the time we clean up the apartment it's around 10am.

"So what do you want to do today?" She asked

"Anything really. It's my first time in Korea so I don't really know were to go. What do you have plan for today?" I say.

"I have a photo shoot with the group I work with. I'm bringing them some food. You can come with and tomorrow I can ask one of the other staff members to drive you around." She asked.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Well then. Let's change and we can head out." I go to my bag and take out a pair of black jeans, a black crop top that was just above my belly button, a white and blue oversized flannel, my blue converse, my black mouth mask and a bunny beanie that my brother had sent me for my birthday.

We walk out of the apartment and head to pick up the food, we go buy the drinks. I get an iced americano with cream and I soon realize who she works for. That many drinks only means one thing.

After twenty minutes we reach a wear house. As we walk inside I hear loud laughter, screams, and something that sounds like a dolphin?... and three managers trying to keep them from hurting themselves. I see a familiar face running up to us, Mark, I was sent a lot of pictures of the two of them before they debuted. My eyes wides but then realize he probably doesn't know who I am, or won't recognize me if he does.

"Did you bring us food?" Mark asked in Korean.

"Yes" Sofia said. "Go get the guys that aren't doing a live or taking photos."

“You didn’t say it was NCT” I say walking with her.

“I thought your mom told you. Sorry. I was supposed to have the week off but they had a last minute uniform comercial photo shoot and they called me in.”

We go and settle by a table that's close by and I help her set the food down.

"Does he know you're here?" She asked me.

"No, I didn't tell him and besides I haven't talked to him in months and he hasn't seen a picture of me since he left. Well I don't think he has." I say as I sit next to her.

"You should tell him. I mean he is going to see you. No matter how long you keep that mask and beanie on. He has to recognize you."

"I don't know. My hair used to be to my mid waist, now it's just above my ear and a different color and my glasses are in my bag."

"Sofia did you get my coffee?" I hear a familiar voice say. I smile under my mask and Sofia looks at me.

"Yes, it's over here." She says pointing to the iced americano next to me. My eyes widen and she smirks gets up and says "I'm going to take Jeno and Renjun their tea. I'll be back."

"Hey I hadn't seen you around before, are you new?" He asked

"No, I'm visiting the city before going to college." I say rather slow since my Korean isn't the best.

"So can I assume you speak English better." He says smiling.

"Yeah." I say.

"I'm Johnny by the way" he says

"I know. NCT is kinda well known in my town." I say letting a small laugh.

"Were are you from?" He asked. He really didn't recognize me. It hurt but I couldn't blame him. We hadn't spend much time together.

"I'm from around." I say. "I rather not say."

"Very well, can I get your name at least?" He asked

"Ocean" I say getting up to find Sofia. I can feel his eyes on me as I leave.

"How did it go?" Sofia asked.

"Like I said he doesn't recognize me." I say. I take my beanie off and let my dark blue and purple hair show. "Hey can I get your keys to get my glasses out of my bag. I'm starting to get a headache."

"Yeah here" She says giving me her keys. I walk out of the wear house and up to the car.

"You know light brown looks better on you" I hear a voice say. I turn around and look at Johnny coming closer. I smile under my mask and put my glasses on. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" He asked pulling my mask down.

"I didn't think you would have time to take care of me." I say looking up at him.

"I would have made time. Why didn't mom and dad tell me? I talked to them yesterday. They said you had gone to New York."

"I asked them not to tell you." I say " I knew if you knew I was here you would put off practice to be with me and I didn't want you to." I say. He pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.

"You're my little sister! Off course I'm going to put off practice to be with you no matter what." He says. He walks back inside with me clinging to his side.

"You Know Who got even cuter after debut?"

"Hmm"

"Mark..." I say smiling at him. He makes a face of disgust but then smiles.

"Actually once you left to go talk to Sofia he came and asked if it was you. He used to have the biggest crush on you when I first showed him a picture of you when I came." I laugh at his comment and shake my head.

"You would kill him if he came close to me." I say.

"Yeah but at least I know he would be good to you." He says entering the building.

I see Sofia smile at us and I got sit down with Johnny, Ten, Lucas, and Mark.

I see Mark smile at me and wave hi. Lucas notices and asked "who is she?"

"She's my sister" Johnny said giving Mark a death glare as he notices the boy looking at me with a smile on his face that's soon cover in a blush. I look at Johnny who has a look of accomplishment on his face, I laugh at him and hug him. After five years I finally get to be with my brother for more than just a few days.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I hope you guys liked this. I once posted it on my Wattpad but I’m more on here than on there. I would gladly post more if you guys like it.

[ddanadeai]

TVXQ! smtown NYC Madison Square Garden 2011 / Explained: K-pop ep.4

TOHOSHINKI x Shibuya109 XMAS 2018 / Terrace House: Opening New Doors ep.47

TVXQ 7th Anniversary December 26 2010:

“Between both pictures, you can feel confidence but doubt. You can see happiness but sadness. Between both there are tears and smiles. Between both there's 8 years of hardwork, of returning from no point, of standing from the lowest.”

“8 years ago they looked haggard, physically & emotionally exhausted. Even Yunho’s barely making an effort to smile. But now they look so alive, radiant, & above all happy, content & at peace with everything in their lives. Which is the most important & precious thing we could wish for them.”

TVXQ! 15th Anniversary December 26 2018:

Changmin & Yunho Ginger Magazine Interview December 21, 2010 [1/2/3]

How did it feel with just the two of you standing on stage?

Yunho: On the first day at Seoul, when we stood onstage, a tremendous amount of applause and cheering welcomed us, which made me deeply understand that 'there are people who are waiting for us. I can only continue living when I stand onstage.' These thoughts started spurting out at that moment, and I knew that I could stand up again.

Changmin: I was really really happy. But, when the time for us to perform came nearer, I started getting more and more nervous to the point where people around me could easily tell. Subconsciously, I started drinking coffee (laughs). This was the first time in my life that I felt so nervous. When the staff asked ‘Will you be okay with just the two of you?’ The staff must’ve been thinking, ‘Are these two going to be okay?’ I couldn’t understand what came over me, but I suddenly felt the internal conflict within me in full force. Compared to the external surroundings, I was mainly having an internal battle of pressure. Even as we were rehearsing, we kept saying to ourselves that it would be okay, even if some people had already lost faith in us, but as soon as I got on stage, I told myself ‘It's okay, just let yourself go’.  When Yunho and I silently looked each other in the eyes, we nodded simultaneously to express ‘Let’s go!’ To this day, it is still deeply engraved in my mind. I still remember very clearly the moment when Yunho and I exchanged glances and the two of us shouted ‘Go!’ together. 

Yunho: We were encouraging each other backstage, saying things like 'we need to show everyone why TVXQ is so strong!' and 'this is TVXQ. We want people to see our unique charm we have in contrast to the other artists.

Changmin: During rehearsals, we kept on telling ourselves 'it's fine, we can do it!' But honestly, I didn't know if I really believed that myself. However, when I stood on that stage, I started truly believing that 'it's fine, go do it!' Of course, there is still more work to be done in order to achieve our higher goals.

You have been constantly improving over these years, so can we expect to see a new type of charisma from you two?

Yunho: Yes! Whether it's singing or dancing, Changmin will learn from the fortes that I possess, and I will also learn from his. Just like twins, we absorb things from each other that make us continually improve.

Changmin: Up until now, although we do spend time to go to classes and record songs, I'm not 100% satisfied with it. After deciding that the two of us would start afresh together, that feeling has become even more intense. But it isn't necessarily a bad thing, because being able to sing is a joy in itself, and facing the feelings of starting music anew may allow me to change my personal opinions and views on certain things.

Yunho: I think SMT's stage can prove that. Difficulties can be overcome by not giving up. Of course, messages like 'you can do it, we're waiting for you' has been encouraging us. To repay back that love from fans, we need to return to our original beginning and start anew as rookies.

Changmin: We hope to improve through projecting the joy of singing, undergoing a change in our style and doing our very best. I've always thought that my voice went pretty well with Yunho's (laughs), we'll maintain the style TVXQ has always had whilst also bringing our fans something that belongs solely to the two of us! I can genuinely feel a sense of security. Thank you for waiting for us.

Yunho on what he felt as he came down the stage of SM Town Seoul 2010

Yunho: It was very emotional. The feeling of having to just stand and watch others perform on stage, it was very painful. ‘I have to be standing there and singing too… but when will that day come?’ I thought of this a lot. And during the hiatus, TVXQ was gradually being forgotten. I once had the chance to ask a bunch of young kids, ‘Who do you like~?’ And they answered ‘Oh, I like SNSD~’ ‘Ah~ Who else?’ ‘I like Super Junior~’ ‘What about TVXQ?’ ‘Who is TVXQ?’ When they said that… ‘Ah. If we continue like this, it will be dangerous.’

With that feeling in our hearts we stood on stage at SM Town. And other singers, as well as other singers’ fans, cheered out for us.

Changmin: Tens of thousands—

Yunho: Tens of thousands, and that sound suddenly pounded strongly at my heart, along with the music. ‘Ahhh, this is it. This is the reason that I sing.’ Yes.

Keep Your Head Down / Comeback Press Conference January 12 2011

“After a two-year and 3 months hiatus from the Korean music industry, TVXQ made a triumphant return as a duo on January 12th 2011.″

TVXQ: At the time of our comeback, Lee Soo Man sent us a text saying that we were “Jackpot.”  He gave us his support, asking us to do our best from now on.

Grazia Magazine November 2011

Yunho: I was really worried if there were still generous fans who were kindly waiting for us, because we couldn’t stand on stages for so long. I felt pressure, too. I wasn’t able to see anything from the stage because of the nervousness. But then I heard a loud cheer. I would have really appreciated just a fan being there for us. But I heard a cheer of ten thousands of people. I’m not a type who easily cries, but I almost cried and thought we should just pave a new path from here.

KBS Story Show Do Dream October 6 2012

Yunho: There was an 2010 SMTOWN stage that the two of us performed on. That was actually an experimental stage.

Changmin: That's why we were even more nervous and shaky. After that, Lee Soo Man, who likes to try new things, told us, “I think it will be alright if you continue as a duo.

Yunho: That day, other people also told us it was going to be alright with just the two of us.

People were talking as “What can just the 2 of you do? You cannot do anything, can you?” I was very hurt…the reason was because I thought Tohoshinki should not vanish. I thought that I should preserve the name of Tohoshinki! So, we are still keeping the name, and we will continue to keep Tohoshinki’s name in the future, too! - Yunho during Nissan Day 2 August 18 2013

”Tohoshinki Live Tour 2013 ～TIME～ also known as the Time Tour, visited all five of Japan's major concert Domes and the Nissan Stadium, the largest seated stadium in Japan. The duo were also the first international artists to headline a concert at the Nissan Stadium in Yokohama. Tohoshinki have said on their first five-Dome tour, "It's a dream come true.”

Q. TVXQ came to Japan in 2005. Did you set your goals while on the way? Back then, our staff and people at the agency said we’d have new experiences and difficulties in Japan. We were told we’d need to start anew in Japan. So we talked, the two of us, while watching crows and one of us suggested we take baby steps from the bottom. It was just a suggestion at first, but that became a reality. I’m happy we’re men who kept our promises. -Yunho [SPECIAL INTERVIEW] TVXQ ‘We Breathed and Sympathized With Our Fans’ 2013

The most memorable stage is the first ever performance as a duet with Changmin during SMTOWN. -Yunho for The Celebrity December Issue 2013

The day in 2011 when we went up on stage for the first time after becoming a duo, amidst the nervousness which was even more heightened than that when we debuted, the Yunho hyung who grasped hold of my hand, when I was just staring at the ground. And the Yunho hyung who had told me, "We can do it well". Because hyung is here, I was able to hold out till now, because hyung is here, it seems like I will be able to attempt more challenges in the future. Because we are connected by the string called "TVXQ", which will never be able to be severed. -Changmin’s Epilogue for Ti Amo Photobook 2014

TVXQ! Special Comeback Live - YouR PresenT Septemeber 30 2017

Since I am human, have times when I am exhausted, but I didn’t feel alone – it was because of you that I got more strength. In 2010 at SMTOWN, coming back to the stage after being on hiatus for so long, I had not been that scared and nervous before but you took my hand once again and I felt that it wasn’t that it was two people, but rather that we could go on a new path as it was the two of us. - Yunho’s letter to Changmin

Vogue Japan April Issue 2018

“I felt that I wanted to show the love/affection that we have for each other just as it is. It’s a long time we have worked together, that’s half of my life since we’ve walked together. The person who remembers half of my life.”— Changmin on his relationship with Yunho

LEON Magazine April Issue 2018

“Yunho told Changmin that even after 15 years, he still wants to be TVXQ.“

Q: To me, 15th Anniversary of TVXQ! is...

Changmin: To me, the 15th Anniversary of TVXQ! is like a decalcomania. As you know, a decalcomania is a result of the combination of two art pieces. I answered like this because TVXQ! is half of my life.

Yunho: To me, the 15th Anniversary of TVXQ! is like half of my life.

New Chapter #2: The Truth of Love - 15th Anniversary Special Album 2019

Yunho’s message to Changmin: Changmin ah!! You’ve worked so hard…Let’s grow old nicely together ㅋㅋㅋ -We’re starting again now-

[crimsonblackrose]

2019 is over and seeing 2020 on my calendar is strange. I had planned to go to bed early and get a lot of things done today, but instead I’ve found myself just wanting to spend my day resting.

My mindset this year was, it’s my last year in Korea so if there’s something I want to do, do it.

January

In January I was teaching my final camp (a cooking camp) for my country school and saying goodbye to friends who were going home.

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February

In February I was desperate to make up for 2018. I wanted to go back to the states and try to have a time that didn’t…emotionally scar me and the results were…better? I got to spend my 27th birthday with my family. I got to play with my baby cousins and eat delicious cake (I’ve missed American cake) and I got to visit LA for the first time and see friends and it was both too short and at times too long. My phone, which I dropped at Monkey Mountain during the previous summer in Japan, also finally died from water damage. And I awkwardly ran into Target to get a prepaid phone to survive on for the rest of my trip and when they asked if I wanted insurance I laughed and said “No, I’m leaving the country.” And then belatedly realized how creepy that sounded, like I was on the run and I’ve never sped walked out of a Target so fast and so embarrassed, which I’m sure didn’t help.

Before I moved out of Gapyeong I  also made sure I did everything I wanted, which meant taking myself to see le Petite France before I moved. And I did and then I moved to Gunpo. A friend helped me find someone to help me move which was essentially a guy with a truck.  It was a long journey with lots of traffic and I was worried about being late to meet my new coteacher, but it turned out it was all fine because my room wasn’t ready yet. My driver even fell asleep while we stopped at rest stop so I could use the bathroom. One of the reasons I’m always glad I always have a book with me. It was not a fun move, I forgot my coat in the back of his truck since he took it from me and threw it in the backseat when I got in, and I was so stressed with getting everything out of the truck and into the hallway that it slipped my mind. I had to pay him to come and bring my coat back to me. And then I spent several hours sitting in the hallway waiting for my room to be ready.

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March

This brought on the spring of flowers. I’ve never spent so much of my spring immersed in flowers and I kind of loved it. I started my March off with adjusting to my new town and my new job. I got to meet other teachers in the area, I enjoyed life in a city which was insanely lovely in comparison to my old tiny town and the going away gifts my coworkers had given me from homemade candles to Gong Cha free drink coupons. I even met up with new friends I’d made. The adjustment to my new job was rough, there was so much to learn and there were so many more students and classes and coworkers than I had ever had in my 4 years at my old school.

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April

April found me on a bus to Jinhae to follow the Cherry Blossoms and back to Gunpo to enjoy the Royal Azalea festival. It also had maybe one of my busiest days, which was Nathalie’s birthday and Mika’s wedding party.  I also stayed at a jimjilbang for the first time.

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May

In May I was in Singapore surrounded by Orchids and heat, humidity, and rain. I also went to Goyang for one of the most beautiful and intense flower festivals I’ve ever seen. It was also when we threw my friend Esme her Alice in Wonderland themed tea party bridal party and when I went to a lot of festivals and took the start of my tea classes with Kew and Leaves.

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June

June brought Esme’s wedding and it was fun to help out and be part of the behind the scenes of a wedding in Korea. I also went to a popular Korean hair style chain where I got a cute short expensive hair cut that I loved but when I got home I realized they’d completely missed a chunk of my hair which greatly disillusioned me with the chain. And in an effort to deal with some stress I tried learning traditional Korean wrapping and making an embroidery project as well as taking some a matcha course. Which I needed because I was in pain, it was vague and eventually turned into chest pains as the months progressed.

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July

July brought my first camp at my new school which was very different from my old camps on almost every way and more stress. It also brought new waves of goodbyes of friends heading home. My chest pains got worse in July and of course I googled them which sent me into a panic so I went to several doctors and there’s a good chance it’s from stress, so that’s fun.

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 August

August found me in Japan again. This time my big trip with a plan of visiting Hokkaido and the hopes to finish everything I wanted to do in Japan. It was full of misadventures and very hot but it was also fun. I also finally made it to Seoul Comic Con. It also found me with ear infections and what probably was/is tendinitis.

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September

In September I returned to Taiwan to visit Taipei on my own. It was very hot and during a holiday that meant a lot of places were closed so I went out of my way for places that were closed. It also found me with visitors to show around and a rather scary fever where the doctors told me either I had a cold or my liver was failing and that was not fun to hear. It was just a cold.

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October

In October I decided to start Adventuring Bibliophile as a Instagram and I tried several ways to make it it’s own blog only to get very frustrated.  My school had it’s school festival and I went on an insane flight to get home for a wedding. I was in the states for a day. I’ve never cried so much during a wedding. But I also never ever want to do such an insane trip where I spend more time in the air then on the ground ever again, especially not on an airline that’s so cheap. My school also took us to see the musical Marie Antoinette and I hosted a Halloween Party.

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November

November found me wedding crashing an old coworkers wedding. (Not wedding crashing in Korean culture, but definitely in American culture) It was so weird to see my old coworkers and I didn’t get to chat with a lot of the ones I wanted to and just found myself awkwardly not sure what to do, having not expected showing up late or staying. Then I went to the silver grass festival which was not something to do on a poor air quality day since it requires a lot of hiking and not something I particularly enjoyed to do in my dress. I made kimchi, I celebrated Thanksgiving with friends and tried an escape room for the first time.

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December

In December I was pretty bummed. The air quality was bad, classes were ending and I didn’t get an opportunity to really say goodbye to my students and tell them that no one would be replacing me. My job is gone and I’m the last teacher to have this position. I got to tell one class and we had a mini party which was delightful and touching. I also learned that the teacher who replaced me at my old school have also found their contract without a chance for renewal due to similar budget cuts. My friends are mostly all moving or also leaving and I spent much of December sort of frozen in fear. Where do I send all my stuff? Who do I give it to? None of it can stay and I don’t know where to send it. It’s overwhelming. My school had ceramic teachers come and teach us how to make traditional ceramic pieces in Korean style. But I found the process stressful. I made a mug but despite liking how it turned out, a bit like a tree stump, they told me it required too much work to fix to show me how to do the Korean style bits. So a coworker rushed to help me make a plate in the hopes that I could do the Korean aspect with it, only to be told again that it would take too long to fix. In the end when I got back my mug they hadn’t done the the thing I requested and the mug looks nothing like what I gave them. I was not happy. The plate didn’t come back. I tried to watch my students graduate only to learn that the space was too small and cramped to actually watch the graduation and then I was whisked off into a meeting so I couldn’t say goodbye to any of them afterwards. My Christmas traditions didn’t happen and it made me feel so much worse. All I wanted was to be home. And I ended the year feeling nervous, winter in 2018 was a wreck with family emergencies and pain and every small thing makes me so much more twisted up about being away.

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I don’t feel like I had a busy 2019 but when I look at everything I did it really was busy. I get why my coworkers and even one friend told me you’re always so busy. But it’s my last year in Korea and I’m trying to do everything I want to. I also am also trying to be more social and get out more now that I have the opportunity. I didn’t try as hard after my mother died and so I tried really really hard this year to push forward and I don’t know whether I did it in a healing way or in a way that burnt me out by the time I reached the end of the year. I also spent a lot of time this year going to the hospital, usually only to find out it was due to stress. It seems I react to stress physically so I don’t always noticed how stressed I am, unless I’m unable to sleep. And I had a lot of difficulty throughout this year sleeping.

A Review of last years Resolutions

Last year I tried my hand at resolutions.

I wanted to cook and bake more. I did do some before I left and this winter, but my new place didn’t come with an oven or a rice cooker, so baking didn’t happen. I did cook more but I also got sick of the things I made for myself fairly quickly. But I do think overall my diet has been healthier than it was in the country side. But it helps that the grocery store has lots of different types of things and is open past 6pm.

I did catch up with my podcasts but then with my reoccurring ear infections I stopped listening for awhile in a try to figure out what was causing it, even though my headphones were suppose to be fine. So I’m behind again.

I moved. And well, I’m moving again. Fun.

I didn’t want to regret moving. And that’s a toss up. I love where I live now. I love living in the city and I like my coworkers and my students but I taught at my old school for 4 years. I miss my coworkers, I miss our lunches, I miss all the big open spaces and the quiet and the stars and I do occasionally regret leaving my kids because I get messages of “Teacher when are you coming back?” and it breaks my heart.

Travel to: Singapore √,  Hong Kong x, Taipei √ , Japan √  (Okinawa x), home for wedding √, home for funeral X

Finish all the physical books I have (working on it, but I did finish the books I listed)

Go out more √ , spend more time in nature √ , spend time with friends √ , call home once a week √ , yoga and mediate x, learn something new √

The end of a decade

It’s really weird to realize it’s 2020. I graduated high school in 2010. Which means the majority of my life alone has been within this last decade, my time as a young adult. I don’t think high school me or even kid me would have guessed what I did. But maybe I would’ve. I always knew I wanted to leave the states and travel. But I was a huge scardy cat. I think though I would’ve expected to have gone to Japan though rather then South Korea. I graduated high school, went to college, lived in Chicago, wrote a lot, was an RA, met some amazing people, explored the city, started a blog, became a tutor, studied abroad in Prague, spent a spring break in London, organized and  hosted a ridiculous amount of events, graduated college with a BFA and after studying from some really cool writers and artists, moved across the globe to RURAL South Korea, made new friends, taught elementary school kids, explored, traveled with friends, traveled on my own, visited 8 different countries, wrote A LOT.  While I don’t feel like I’m where I wanted to be, I still have to be proud of the things I have accomplished.

The Future

I’m not going to do resolutions this year. I’m going to go back to doing gentle goals. Because I know this new year is going to be rough and I need to be gentle with myself. I’m at a crossroads that every friend before me who has taken has spoken to me with warnings and a tinge of regret. Moving back home is difficult. My aunt did it and said she felt like she left part of her soul somewhere over the ocean. I don’t know what I’m going to do. But I know there are some things I Have to do. Some are difficult and others less so.

Finish sending gifts home. (So late on holiday gifts. December caught me like a deer in headlights and I’ve been feeling stuck)

Start giving things away or selling them. My school isn’t keeping my apartment so everything that is mine must go. That’s 5 years worth of my life on my own. 5 years worth of memories I have to go through and make drastic decisions on.

Whatever I want to keep must fit in my suitcases or be shipped home.

Eat as much of my food as possible.

Drink as much of my tea as possible. (As much as I love the idea of coming home with tea from all sorts of different countries it also means less space for things like clothes)

Finish all the books on my bookcase

Buy my ticket home.

Close up accounts, do paperwork.

Have mothers funeral

Deal with mother’s things

Family vacation?

Go through all my stuff that my aunt has been watching

Figure out my life

Okay so that last one isn’t some gentle thing. I honestly don’t have an answer for it. I have half baked plans, but none of them are long term. Which kind of stresses me out. And really that’s all stuff I have to do like a to-do list not really goals. Okay, let me try that again.

Rest

write more and edit

spend time with family and friends

travel when possible.

Current planned trips, later this month:

Paris, France

Okinawa, Japan

Go to more bookish places in Korea

eat delicious foods I’ve missed

enjoy a bath

enjoy a dryer

Cook, bake, exercise, spend time in nature and with animals

Not sure if that’s better but it feels better. I feel like there’s so much that has to get done that the thought of what I’m doing after is too difficult to fathom. So I’m doing my best putting one foot in front of the other at the moment.

How was your decade? What do you hope to do in this new one?

Happy New year! May your 2020 bring you wonderful things.

  Year in Review- 2019 2019 is over and seeing 2020 on my calendar is strange. I had planned to go to bed early and get a lot of things done today, but instead I've found myself just wanting to spend my day resting.

[hoshalicious]

cuddling ↬ mark tuan

you haven’t seen mark in a long time, to which you miss him everyday to the point that you haven’t been eating properly. when he returns, you both immediately start cuddling as you talk.

genre: slight angst with a fluffy ending !! warnings: none; lowercase intended word count: 1,443

anon asked: can you pls do something mark related?

the previous night, you had cried yourself to sleep. your head was hurting really bad from all the tears escaping from your eyes, causing you to dehydrate.

you hadn’t seen mark for the past 5 months, and you were missing him so much. he had been away from south korea for his world tour for got7 while you’ve been stuck in the apartment for a long time. you hardly know any korean because you were raised in los angeles just like mark. when he told you he was leaving to become a trainee in jyp entertainment, he insisted if you wanted to go with him, so you did.

before he left for his world tour, you were scared of how you were going to provide yourself. when you have to go shopping, you could hardly understand anything in grocery stores, and you were stressing out so bad. mark had tried to teach you some korean foods and phrases, and of course, he had helped you a lot.

even mark tried to ask jyp to give you a plane ticket for you to visit your parents, but he explained that you’re probably not going to have a lot of time to visit them when they tour in america. but he promised you that one day, he’ll buy you plane tickets.

mark has not respond your texts in a week. you were getting worried about him, negative thoughts going on in your mind. you’ve never feared anything so bad in your entire life to the point that you started shaking. you hoped that he did not go through a car or plane accident.

you’re afraid of what mark’s going to say about your weight when he comes back. you had lost a lot of weight due to the lack of nutrients you’re supposed to have due to your limited korean.

one time, you tried to order and buy some meat from the meat store and the workers were utterly confused. you were hesitating, and you became so embarrassed. you even tried to use a translator, but it was taking so long to load.

you decided to not go back there for a long time, and you had not eaten meat ever since. just technically food from the convenience store.

as you started to wake up, you immediately felt your head hurt so much. all you just wanted to do is to buy a bucket of ice cream and watch your favorite tv show. you just thought today was pointless, there was nothing to do throughout the past few days.

and the reason why you decided to buy ice cream is that ice cream in korean is pronounced the same as it is in english. it was one of the only words you can read in hangeul besides the informal “hello.”

as you changed and walked to the nearest convenience store, you went to the freezers to buy yourself the bucket. as you found your favorite ice cream flavor, you look to your right and see a couple across the store.

the boy had his left arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders as her right arm is around his back. they were scanning around to find some potato chips for them to snack.

“hey, do you like these chips?” the girl asked him. you understood her completely since she was speaking in fluent english.

“my favorites!” the boy replied as her significant other grabbed the bag. he had a heavy accent, meaning english wasn’t his first language. as they were walking away, you could hear the girl say something in korean and you understood the words, “your english” and “good.”

you sighed and you felt like your heart hurting after they left. you just wish that mark is with you at this moment. you walked to the cashier of the store to pay for your ice cream. although you didn’t understand the price he was saying, it was displayed on the register, '₩5,000.’

after leaving the store, you left back home and dressed back in your pajamas to get comfortable as you watch your favorite show. you looked at your lock screen on your phone, and there were no notifications from mark. you simply just look at your lock screen, which is a picture or you and mark hugging as you both were taking a selfie.

once again, you wanted to cry so hard. not even any of the got7 members were texting you back.

you felt like you finished your ice cream faster than you had expected. you could not concentrate on your favorite tv show, and you decided to just drink some water before going to sleep.

when you woke up once again, you look outside and suddenly, the sky looked dark. the buildings in seoul were lightening up and as soon as you turned on your phone, mark finally sent a text to you, and your face immediately brightened up as you try to unlock your phone.

“open the door” was the message you received, and you became confused. you looked at the front door, and you had high hopes that it was mark on the other side. you ran to the door, and open it when you see him standing there with his luggage.

“you’re here..” you immediately hugged him as fast and hard as you could. your eyes were stinging enough that you could not cry as much anymore, and you were shaking.

“hey y/n!! are you okay?..” he smiled as he hugged you back. “you..seemed like you lost a lot of weight..”

“...” you didn’t say anything back, as you are still hugging him tightly. you both go inside to the apartment. mark left his luggage in the living room so you both could go to the shared room.

you laid down on the bed first, and as he did after you, you immediately started to cuddle with him. your head resting on the crook of his neck, your arms wrapped around him, and your legs around his waist.

he hugged you back with one hand and the other on your head. he started to smile as he was looking at your hair, and noticed the difference between the cuddles before and now. you seemed a little smaller, and suddenly, he got worried.

“y/n, i’m so sorry for not responding to you. we both had to work our asses off for the last few days of the tour. even our staff had to take our phones away to focus. but..now i can see you again.” he fully explained to you, as you still felt gloomy.

“um..have you ate anything?” he continued.

“just a bucket of ice cream. we haven’t..had food in the fridge for 3 weeks.”

“why didn’t you buy any more food?..i knew i should’ve taken you with me..” he whispered to you as he kissed your forehead. “but..i understand. i’ll start teaching you korean soon, please don’t worry.”

he suddenly heard your stomach growl, and he knew that you needed to eat as soon as possible. it was the loudest he had heard from you and he was worried to death.

“i’ll order takeout. and since you had not bought anything, i’ll buy a lot of meat,” he said as you laughed. he took out his phone as he’s still cuddling with you, and you both are deciding on what to eat.

you were full of emotions and you just wanted to cry out of happiness. mark notices this, and he kissed your cheek and lips. “y/n..i’m here!”

“i’m sorry, i missed you so much! i haven’t had a decent meal for a while..”

“well, i’m going to make sure you’re eating healthy. i want you to be chubby and happy! i’m buying chinese takeout, so i’m ordering a lot of chicken.”

you closed your eyes and you told him he can order anything he desired.

he took about 15 minutes and he knew that the food would take about half an hour due to traffic and the distance. he realized that you slept, and he wiped your tears away.

he turned off the lamp by the nightstand, and began to rest his chin on your head. he started to play with your hair, and later on began to sleep as well. he's glad that you're okay when he was away. hopefully, he doesn’t sleep through the delivery.

but most of all, he also is feeling better when you’re with him.

abi; april 28th 2018.

[kmbtob-monthly]

June 2018 ;; Story # 2 : Through the Apocalypse

Title: Through the Apocalypse

Author: Heymello

Twitter username: heymellowrites

Chapter 1 of 13: Survivor

You can find the rest of the chapters here.

---

Moon stumbled in the woods while running away from the people who just popped out of nowhere and started chasing her. It's almost dark. Hell, she doesn't even know what time it was anymore. Usually, at this time, she would have settled somewhere and keep herself safe and warm. She was having a cold meal of sandwich she grabbed from what used to be a convenience store when she heard footsteps and the next thing she knew, she was cornered by strangers who were asking for her few supplies. Of course, she wouldn't just give in and she's pretty sure they know what she had to go through to get those supplies.

She immediately hid behind a tree when she saw a big one. She was holding her breath, wishing they would lose their way, wishing that sandwich won't be her last meal—or well, she could also accept that.

She bit her bottom lip when she heard footsteps coming.

"What are you doing? Find her!” The voice of the stranger was deep and scary by the way he yelled.

"Do we really have to? She doesn't seem loaded anyway.” said the guy with a lazy way of speaking.

"We have to get something, or we're going to be dinner for those Walkers.” The first stranger replied.

"Why don't we just leave the group—”

"Shut your mouth, Ilhoon! Youngsoo could be around and you're dead if he hears you!"

"That parrot-mouthed piece of shit.”

"Enough now!”

Moon heard their footsteps come closer and closer. She closed her eyes and hugged her backpack as she tried to remember the past few months that she survived since the apocalypse.

⁂

She had always dreamed of visiting her favorite place in the world—Seoul, South Korea. She heard a lot of nice and bad things about it but the beauty of the city is undeniable. It started when she got hooked of watching Korean TV shows.

Her best friend, Amy, is another big fan of Korea and Japan. They both started saving money from college just to go there once they graduate with flying colors. Amy went to buy the plane tickets as soon as possible while Moon organized everything, like their hotel room and places to visit right after they left college.

It felt like she has accomplished one of her biggest dreams when she got there. She just saw the place from her laptop screen back then but there she was—in front of the Han River, smiling from ear to ear with her best friend. It was fun and good while it lasted.

During the night when they decided to eat in one of the restaurants in Korea, there was a sudden chaos outside. They peeked through the glass window of the restaurant and saw people horrified and running from something—something that would kill them.

Her heart started beating louder as she looked in her best friend's eyes full with confusion and fear.

People inside started panicking as well but they both couldn't understand a thing of what they were saying. Amy grabbed the arm of a stranger passing by and asked in English, “What is happening? Why is everyone running away?”

The boy removed her hand from his arm and was going to leave their question unanswered when Amy grabbed it again and said, “Please... answer us.”

Moon realized that was the only time she had ever seen Amy that desperate for an answer. Even if they both didn’t know what was happening, they both understood that their lives were in danger.

“No... no safe!” The boy said and ran.

Then Amy and Moon looked in each other's eyes as they made a silent agreement to run for their lives even though they didn't exactly know what they were running from.

Moon was lost in the sea of people running, screaming for something. She lost Amy and she tried her best not to cry once she got into a quieter place and yelled her friend's name.

Not far from her, she saw a woman—probably the only one not panicking in the situation as she walked just calmly. Moon was facing her back and decided to call her and ask about what's happening.

“Excuse me... do you—”

Moon was horrified when the woman—no, the creature turned to her. She looked like human but something else—scary, dead but walking. She felt her heart begin thumping in her chest as she ran but she couldn't scream for help because her throat dried on its own.

She was desperate to find Amy so she ran and ran and tried to ignore what's happening around her. She was pushed by people who were trying to save themselves from those creatures and when she finally felt like she had nowhere to go, she saw a familiar back of a girl. A smile of relief formed her lips as she ran to her.

“Amy! Amy!” She shouted her name again and again... and she turned to her slowly, leaving her in shock and fear. “No...” she muttered, tears falling down her cheeks. She couldn't move her two feet as Amy, who had turned into something like those creatures, walked towards her.

“Amy... no...” She muttered again, stepping forward to her.

“What do you think you are doing? She's one of them!” A stranger told me.

Moon turned to him and saw a boy, seemed to be just around her age. He also seemed to be horrified by everything that was happening but he kept himself together.

“She's my friend... my best friend...” She said helplessly.

“What?! Come on, keep yourself safe!” He grabbed her wrist like they've known each other before. He took her with him but later she realized he didn't know where to go as well.

Moon stayed for a few days with him. She learned that his name was Minhyuk. He told her everything that had happened—from a virus of something that spread faster than when grains of sugar fall to the pavement.

But they didn't stay together for a long time. He told her that he would get them both something to eat and to stay where they have been keeping themselves safe but he never came back. She didn't know if he left her for good and decided to survive on his own or he was eaten by those scary creatures.

She started to survive own her since then. Hiding from other people once she learned it wasn't safe facing them and those monsters. She would go and storm abandoned grocery stores or convenient stores or empty houses. She would bring a gun she didn't know how to use with her, something she took from a dead man and a kitchen knife she got while storming a random abandoned house.

She thought a lot of times of just ending her life, but it just wasn’t necessary. She went through months and months alone, sometimes hungry and without water. She thought she would just prefer getting eaten or killed by someone rather than killing herself. She thought she would not survive for long anyway. A girl wandering around, protecting and hiding herself in a bunch of monsters—sounds like a joke to her.

But here she is now, unsure if she's ever going to see the sun shine tomorrow.

⁂

Moon felt a cold metal touched her forehead. Her eyes were still closed, although tears have escaped from them. They found her and she knew she was scared although she had been wishing to die and abandon this world a lot of times.

She slowly opened her eyes and said, “Just kill me.”

“Have a little faith. We just want your supplies and if you agree to give it to us, you could still fight hella walkers by tonight.” The stranger with the deep voice said.

Moon looked in his eyes. They looked so tired and he looked like he just wanted to get over it quickly. He waited impatiently for her to give her backpack voluntarily to them. “I didn't chase you to have an eye contact with.” He said.

He's wearing a black cap, his eyes were small and his face is somehow scary now that she observes it—like a quiet person that would snap in a second at her and pull the trigger on her head.

She was trembling when she slid her backpack over to the ground across them.

“Ilhoon-ah, see what she got.” He said and pushed the gun a bit harder on her head.

The guy named Ilhoon sighed and unzipped Moon's dark red backpack she had from her very first day in Korea. He took all the goods including the sandwich she had in her hands just today and the bottle of water that was almost empty. “Take that wallet.” The other said.

“Are you serious? It's not like we're gonna need money—”

“The big boss wants money even if he can't buy shit with it. He'll be happy if we bring him some. Just take her wallet and all those shit and let's take off before Youngsoo comes and sees this girl."

Moon's eyes widened when Ilhoon started putting her wallet inside his own black backpack.

“No! Please... just take the money. Don't take my wallet. It's... it's important to me... please.” She begged.

He looked at Hyunsik before opening the wallet. He stopped for a while just looking inside my wallet—probably at the pictures in it; pictures of my family and Amy.

“Ilhoon, what the fuck are you doing? Quick!”

“Oh yeah... sorry, I just...” Ilhoon said and took all the money before throwing the wallet back at me.

“Take her weapons.” The other said.

“Are you kidding me? You're going to leave her without any weapons—”

“That shouldn't be concerning you.”

“Hyung! This is not like you!”

They started arguing, both looking so upset and that could be her chance to run away if the other guy didn't have the gun pushed on her head. She was suddenly scared that he might pull the trigger out of anger.

“Fine.” He said, giving up. “Leave the weapons and let's fucking leave before fucking Youngsoo comes or he'll be fucking the shit out of this girl. That old perverted man.”

Ilhoon looked at her. His eyes were fierce but relief was on them. “Come on.” He told him, and then he turned to her. "Stay here and keep yourself safe." He said.

Moon doesn't know if she should be glaring at him or looking at him with gratefulness. How could he ask her to stay safe after taking all her supplies and his friend pushing a gun on her head?

[nomediaplay]

The chart you posted about girl group fan base is very interesting. I tried to look up similar data using your link but it doesn't work for me. Could you pull a mix and match chart for solo, boy group and older artists cimparicom to see how distribution changes? Say IU (solo) vs BB (older boy band with general interest) vs BTS (the current hype) vs TVSQ (older boy band with dedicated fan base)?

You’ve probably mistyped something - I did the pic in a rather small font and then tumblr resized the pic much bigger making it a bit distorted. Unfortunately I can’t do what you’re asking… Because Melon only show the demographics of the followers/fans for the top-5 acts in each category on the daily “artistchart”.

Melon has this thing they call daily “artistchart”, where each artist is scored 1-10 in 5 different categories and then put into an overall ranking. As I understand the categories (again, I’m not Korean), the first category is sum of daily unique plays across all songs of the artist, second category is increase in amount of followers/fans, third category is increase in amounts of likes of all songs of the artist, 4th category is related to photos (not sure if it’s based on views, likes or comments), and 5th category is about music video views on Melon. So naturally, it’s mostly gonna be rather fresh artists and artists who just had a comeback who rank in the top-5. Anyway, here’s the link: https://www.melon.com/artistplus/artistchart/index.htm. Now above the demographics chart are some tabs: First one is overall. Second is boygroups. Third is girlgroups. 4th is male solos. 5th is female solos, 6th is international artists, 7th is indie artists. In each category, you can at the bottom click to show another 10 so you can see the top-40. But you can only see the fan demographics of the top-5. Of course, the % shown are rounded numbers and in my table I just took the rounded % times the current fanbase to clearly illustrate what it means in actual absolute numbers.

I purposefully decided to pull numbers and post for girlgroups today, because just about now these 5 girlgroups that international fans probably find most relevant among “recent” girlgroups all rank in the top 5. Typically, they’ll fall out when it’s been long since a comeback. If you click the boygroup tab, you’ll find that for 2018.08.12 Wannaone was #6, EXO was #7 and BIGBANG was #9. So it’s difficult to find an opportunity with “all relevant acts” you want in the top-5 on the same day. Of course, the overall picture of what their fans are wouldn’t really change if you take stats from one artist today and compare it to stats for another artist from one month ago. But when it comes to older acts it will be hard for them to ever rank in the top-5, even when they’ve just made a comeback (like TVXQ for example).

Secondly, this fans/followers function is something rather “new” in Melon (and mostly used by “young” users), so it’s not really a useful stat on older acts. TVXQ has like 40,000 followers and BIGBANG has like 300,000 followers while EXO & BTS have like 500,000 followers. These differences rather reflect their fanbases since when this function was introduced in Melon rather than their actual old fanbases. SNSD has like 105,000 followers and I find that pretty amazing considering how little activities and media hype they’ve had the last 4 years… Taeyeon has like 150,000 followers and is 2nd female after IU (with like 450,000 fans) but obviously Taeyeon’s followers would have been many times higher if this would have reflected her OSTs and popularity with SNSD back in 2008-2012. It’s the same thing when you look at fans/followers in the Japanese streaming sites: LINE music and AWA were only launched in 2015 while SNSD’s last Japanese album was released in 2013. So clearly all those people looking up and following SNSD in those apps (event though they’re not releasing new Japanese music) are obviously really big fans.

However, as you said I think the data is very interesting - hence why I posted it.

“How are Melon subscribers different or more credible than Hanteo/ Gaon album sales? They are all inflated by fans. The subscribers won’t ensure artists’ success or change their flops either.”            

Because no normal persons buy CDs in 2018. Hanteo/GAON CD sales are driven by a few crazy people buying crazy amounts of CDs - and how many CDs they buy depend on how much the companies try to milk those crazy fans (and remember the artist gets very little money from these sales). And many of these crazy fans are in fact Chinese people.

The numbers of followers among Melon subscribers on the other hand give a fairly accurate view of how popular they actually are among young-ish Koreans.

Quite some time ago Melon purged stats from non-subscribing users (which at the time caused a bit of a fuss), so nowadays the stats actually reflect paying subscribers. Of course, numbers are still distorted by how crazy international fans subscribe to Melon to support oppars. But even so, only ~100,000 of the ~500,000 followers that EXO and BTS have appear to be from international fans. So while they are many they are still not drastically changing the overall picture at all.

I’m sorry, but maybe you had read some of the posts at Netizenbuzz and though that Red Velvet weren’t liked in Korea…

Why do you think there’s always a big fuss about if RV wear hot fashion or outdated clothes?

Why do you think there’s always a big fuss if RV members are comfortable or uncomfortable with too revealing clothes?

Why do you think there’s a big fuss if RV’s performance in NK was something great to be proud of or something ridiculous?

Why do you think there’s always a big fuss if RV’s new songs are something trendy or something outdated or childish?

Why do you think there’s always a big fuss about everything Yeri does as the youngest and added member?

Why do you think there’s a big fuss about Joy’s acting?

Why do you think there’s a big fuss about what book Irene reads?

etc etc etc about the most ridiculous issues.

And why do you think that Red Velvet, as a group and as individuals, by now have a number of really really big endorsement deals?

The answer is of course simple:

Red Velvet is by far the most relevant girl-group among young girls in Korea. That’s why there’s always some kind of online fuss related to them.

Only Mamamoo is anywhere near - but Mamamoo’s audience (fans and haters) are on average a few years older (seemingly like ~4 years) so what Mamamoo members do doesn’t cause as big of a fuss online as Red Velvet (although at times Mamamoo too does cause a big fuss).

I’m not gonna try to predict what RV as a group or as individuals are gonna do over the next 2-5-10-20 years. Who knows, they might split up and all quit and retire in 2 years.

Heck, I’m not even some RV fan. I do like a lot of their title tracks, but I don’t like them artists the way I like SNSD and other acts. Much of RV’s discography isn’t to my liking and I find it really annoying how they’re singing in these high-pitched un-natural voices on album tracks. I also think that Wendy’s voice isn’t really unique enough to be the main vocalist (which isn’t actually a criticism of Wendy!).

I’ve mostly kept updating on some Red Velvet stuff here because people keep whining at me about how SM is doing a bad job promoting them…

But Red Velvet (whether as a group or as individuals) are all absolutely perfectly set up to have long careers if they want to. Even if they’d all split up and leave SM in 2 years, they will remain hugely influential among young-ish Korean women for the next 5-10 years and continue to make lots of money from CF-deals, concerts, festival performances and acting jobs.

[yoyozii]

29/04/2018 - 1st day of my year 21

So, my 21st birthday has ended, it was a chill day with some disappointments but overall I can say I have enjoyed it. It’s currently 2:18am 30/04/2018 here, I feel kind of lonely and I want to reflect my last year so I thought why not use Tumblr and start a diary. This is the first time I have done something like this, I don’t know if this will be a consistent thing since I have exams in around 3 weeks but I will just write as much as I can for the time being and see how this goes. I don’t think many people will read this or even no one will ever read this but I want to write this for myself. If you do and managed to get to the end, I just wanted to say thank you for your time, I appreciate it a lot and sorry if my writing is bad!  

I have a friend (Raphy) whose birthday is one day before mine so we’ve decided to celebrate together over the weekend, it was a nice night, we drank and chatted in Wetherspoons, I’ve made some new friends, had a nice conversation with a girl I’ve never met before, talked about our pasts and University-related stuff, I felt pretty good about myself. Around midnight, We went to the club, some people have left to go home (including the girl), I’m not a clubbing type of person but since its technically my birthday I went as well hoping it will be fun, it started slow, almost kind of awkward... but eventually it got better and I stayed until 3:15am and decided I’m too tired and want to go home so I left on my own and got the bus back. I enjoyed it but I was mostly looking forward to the dinner I’m going to have with my friends on my birthday, I had a steamboat machine and wanted to host a hot pot dinner party, but not many people were committed and end up doing something else, including my best friend (A good friend I met at University, Tom), I brought the steamboat machine to Raphy’s university house, it was awkward knowing that most of them won’t be there but I stayed and we played on the switch for a bit, it was a cooking game and I was terrible at it. After the switch game, people left to go to the cinema, I didn’t want to join because of I will feel stupid and a waste of time since I don’t have my glasses with me, but since Raphy isn’t going either we decided to use the steamboat machine and have a mini hotpot dinner. It was very nice, Raphy made a Korean style soup base and we had hot dogs, spam ham, fish tofu, kimchi with noodles, then we had some of Raphy’s cake as dessert, it was extremely filling and made the day a lot nicer. I then went back home carrying my steamboat machine... haha... By the time I got home, it was already nearly 11pm, I cleaned up my kitchen and just chilled on the sofa watching Youtube, then I tidied my room, got a shower and my 21st birthday has ended.

Now this is a reflection of what happened during my year 20, it's going to be long but I will just focus on the most ‘memorible’ parts. It started with me studying for my exams since May and June are exam periods in the UK, I procrastinated a lot and talk to my now ex-girlfriend every day, she was everything to me, I wanted to do well at University to impress her and she has given me a lot of mental supports, I did the same to her and want her to do well too, it was a very supportive relationship and we looked after each other. Fast forward to summer, we met up once a week to go out and spend times with each other, she went on a trip to America/Canada for a month with Contiki, once she got back we met up few times and then I went on a trip to China for two weeks the time zone difference didn’t stop us from communicating and I made me love our relationship even more. When I got back new year of University starts, she goes to University in the same city as me and I have never felt so excited about University, It has been a while since we spent a good amount of time together and we have never slept over at each other’s place before, it was amazing but also weird at the same time since I have never had a girl sleeping that close to me on a single bed, it was kind of uncomfortable but we have some amazing times and just sleep once we got very tired of doing stuff... haha, then we met up a lot more often at each others place, I love cooking for her and adore her smiles whiles eating my food, sometimes we ate out together went to a house party and introduced her to my course mates etc. Fast forward two months, things got rough, pressure from University and my mum (My mum didn’t think she is good enough for me... we had a lot of arguments and broke up with my now ex-girlfriend once because of her), I started to become insecure and unreasonable, I failed to meet her expectations of me and eventually we decided it’s time for us to break up, it was hard to make that decision but the reality made it seem like the best choice or the easiest choice for both of us, I thought I played the better man by letting her go, I kept telling myself if I love her, her happiness should be my priority but it ended up with me constantly battling with myself every day, I ended up depressed, unmotivated and in a complete mess. I ignored University, skipped all my lectures, did my coursework by copying or worked together with my friend, I just wanted the semester to end really. Then I took my exams around January, I was lucky enough to get an average grade and told myself that I’m going to do better for the second semester. But me being me, I carried on skipping lectures, but I was a lot more positive during semester 2, I picked up drawing and experimented with new things such as Kpop, I studied during the times I skipped my lectures in a coffee shop, the atmosphere was great in there. Then I went to this Korea society event with Raphy and Tom, had a good time, went back to Raphys house and we cooked and ate and had some fun playing on the switch, I honestly thought to myself, ‘damn I’m really enjoying life now’, I then left Raphy’s house around 1am in the morning and what happened after has completely destroyed me again...

p.s it's getting very late in here now and writing this has really made me forget about the time, it was surprisingly chill but I need to sleep and get into a habit of waking up early so I will continue this tomorrow as writing as much as possible, thank you very much for reading!

[citious]

CHAPTER 4

Characters

Main: Yoon Jinmyung, Jung Yeeun, Song Jiwon, Im Sungmin

Supporting: Kwon Hochang, Yoo Eunjae, Jo Eun, Parents

Note: If you haven’t read Chapters 1, 2, 2.5 and 3, you may do so here –> Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 2.5, Chapter 3

In a nutshell: Yoon-sunbae is visiting her childhood home as per her mom’s request. Is there a hidden purpose aside from her mom who misses her? Yeeun is going for another meeting with her relatives, and Yeeun will have to face a possible obstacle between her relationship and her parents. Meanwhile, Sungmin is going to encounter the unexpected, what is it and how will it go?

Rating: T

Belle Époque

17th February 2018

8.00 a.m.

Yoon-sunbae went out of the bathroom, damping her towel with her wet hair. It’s Saturday, and she had promised her mom to pay her a visit.

She opened the fridge to check the contents. There was nothing she could consume right away, so she took a carton of milk from the fridge door, and grabbed a box of Oreo cereal from the overhead cabinet. She poured a considerable amount of cereal in a bowl and poured a good amount of milk before consuming it for breakfast.

11.30 a.m.

It’s the time of the month again, when Yeeun’s parents and her relatives are gathering to catch up on everyone’s ‘accomplishments’.

Yeeun sighed as she saw her parents’ car approaching Belle Époque. She wore a feminine white dress with sheer short sleeves and tied her straight and long hair up this time. Yeeun sat on the backseat, staring blankly at the passing stretch of buildings as the car accelerated.

As the car was parked at the basement, Yeeun and her parents got out of the car. Yeeun’s mom scanned Yeeun from head to toe. Noticing this, Yeeun asked,

Yeeun: Why?

Her mom replied,

Mom: Nothing. Let’s go.

That statement meant one thing – Yeeun didn’t have to do anything about her lip color, her hairstyle, or even the dress she was wearing.

Yeeun’s parents walked in front while she followed behind them. It’s an exclusive Chinese Restaurant this time. Grandma and four of Yeeun’s aunts and uncles were already seated at the huge round table. Yeeun’s mom and dad shook everyone’s hands while Yeeun smiled awkwardly behind them. Suddenly, grandma asked Yeeun to sit next to her. Yeeun involuntarily agreed to her request.

Grandma: How is everything?

Yeeun: Everything is alright, Halmeoni.

Grandma: Are you doing well with the psychological treatment?

Yeeun was surprised when her grandma actually asked her about it.

Yeeun: I’m no longer receiving the treatment.

Yeeun relied with a smile on her face. She wanted to tell her grandma that she could manage herself well.

Grandma: Is that so? That’s great, then. What about a boyfriend? Do you have one, now?

Hearing grandma’s question, Yeeun answered reluctantly,

Yeeun: Well… I do have one now.

Grandma: Is he a nice boy?

Yeeun: He treats me well, Halmeoni. This time I really make sure he won’t do the same thing as what the previous one did.

Grandma: Really? Alright, Yeeun-ah… Honestly Halmeoni is very concerned about you. I think of all my grandchildren as precious, and I only want the best for you, and for our family’s reputation.

Yeeun forced a smile as she listened to her grandma’s explanation. She was glad a while ago when her grandma asked her about her therapy, but now that ‘reputation’ was mentioned, her feelings shattered. Yeeun knew very well what family reputation exactly meant.

For education, it literally means either studying law/doctor/business majors in a top university. For Yeeun’s case, it’s good enough that she went to Yonsei University, one of South Korea’s most prestigious schools. But even that’s not considered very impressive, as all her other cousins are either studying abroad, or taking those preferred majors.

Moving on to jobs. Well, Yeeun’s family members (uncles) are either politicians or those people who deal with law enforcement. Her dad alone is a specialist doctor. So Yeeun knew her major in Food and Nutrition couldn’t really par up to what her uncles and dad are doing, but she knew her major is where her passion is, and she’s going to prove that she can do well later on.

Last but not least, husband. Yeeun thought this would be the hardest thing to tackle. She knew everything too well for this matter. First he has to come from a well-off family. Second, he has to graduate from a top school. Third, he has to have a promising and stable job, someone who can guarantee himself to reach the top of a company hierarchy at least.

Yeeun thought to herself while eating on the round table, ‘My family is seriously no different than those families in a Makjang drama.’

The lunch thankfully didn’t last as long as the last time, and Yeeun was glad that only her grandma interrogated her. If not, her self-esteem could’ve been badly hurt.

On the way back in the car, Yeeun’s dad opened a conversation,

Dad: Yeeun-ah

Yeeun: Yes, Dad?

Dad: Your grandma told me that you have a boyfriend now.

When Yeeun heard her dad’s words, she panicked a little inside.

Dad: Are you sure he’s not gonna do bad things to you again?

Well, that question from her dad actually made Yeeun quite surprised. She thought he would scold her for telling her grandma that she’s dating a new guy after her last relationship fiasco. To that, Yeeun replied,

Yeeun: Yes… I have a boyfriend now, but no, Dad. I made sure that he’s a really nice guy. I’ve introduced him to my friends and they all agreed that he’s a really nice guy.

Yeeun’s dad could only hum at Yeeun’s explanation. Maybe he still couldn’t believe her daughter 100%.

Dad: Yeeun-ah, is it too much to ask if mom and dad want to meet your boyfriend together with you?

Yeeun’s heart suddenly beat fast upon listening to her dad’s request. She gulped and said,

Yeeun: Hm… Honestly it might be too early for him to meet you, but of course I’ll tell him about this and set up a date.

Dad: Is that so? Alright, then.

Yeeun’s mind suddenly got flooded with so many concerns. She was scared at the thought that her parents might reject Hochang.

Bus Station

9.30 a.m.

Yoon-sunbae rode an inter-city bus on her way to visit her mom. The distance between Seoul and he mom’s place wasn’t so far, so it’s actually quite convenient for her. Strangely, though, Yoon-sunbae just didn’t really have a close relationship with her mom ever since her late brother got into a vegetative state.

She considered herself very sinful when she wished her brother to die, but without that, her family would still be suffering until now. Yoon-sunbae’s relationship with her mom improved a little after the death of her brother, and more recently because she got herself a stable job in a reputable entertainment company.

As the bus reached the city bus interchange, Yoon-sunbae hopped off. The journey took her about 2 hours, which wasn’t too bad. She continued her journey with a local bus and finally reached the neighborhood where her house was located.

She walked towards a traditional Korean house that looked nicely managed. She flinched as the gate made a screeching sound upon entering the house’s courtyard. As she approached the main door, she knocked the door and said,

Jinmyung: Hello, mom… Jinmyung is here.

After waiting for a while, the door sled and Yoon-sunbae’s mom came out to greet her,

Mom: Oh, Jinmyung-ah, you’re here…

It’s been so long since she visited the house. The last time was probably 6 months ago, also when Yoon-sunbae’s mom called her to visit. If not, she wouldn’t have the initiative to do so. That’s just how estranged their relationship was.

As Yoon-sunbae stepped into the house, her mom asked,

Mom: Have you eaten?

Yoon-sunbae who was hungry as she’d only eaten a bowl of cereal in the morning replied,

Jinmyung: No, not yet.

Her mom looked a little concerned and said,

Mom: Wait here, I’ll bring you some rice and side dishes.

Yoon-sunbae sat down on the wooden floor in front of a small table that was meant to be for a dining table. She reminisced the times she spent in that house about 20 years ago when her family was still complete. Her dad, mom, and little brother were always with her at the dining table every night, every day.

Her dad unfortunately died from liver cancer when she was in High school. Since then, Yoon-sunbae and her brother couldn’t live the lives they used to have. Her mom didn’t exactly have a fixed source of income and would borrow money from loan sharks. That’s when Yoon-sunbae had to start working part-time while cramming to study for her university entrance exam. She was a hard worker from a young age, and she knew she was the only hope for her remaining family members.

Just when Yoon-sunbae graduated from High school with flying colors and got accepted at Yonsei University’s Business Management major, her brother was involved in a major accident that caused him permanent absence of responsiveness and awareness. The main cause of that was because her brother was devastated at their father’s passing, and he became a truant child.

Yoon-sunbae felt like her burden just kept piling up in her early youth. She remembered crying in her sleep every night because she felt like her life was too much for her to handle.

Just then, Yoon-sunbae woke up from reminiscing her painful memories when her mom came back from the kitchen with a tray full of home-cooked food.

Mom: Eat up.

Yoon-sunbae put on a smile and tasted the beansprout soup in front of her. She commented genuinely,

Jinmyung: It’s delicious.

Her mom smiled at Yoon-sunbae who seemed to joyfully enjoy the food that she cooked. It was a rare occasion.

Belle Époque

12.30 a.m.

The doorbell to the share house rang. Eunjae ran to open the door. It was the food delivery man. She handed in a few notes in exchange for the food that was delivered.

Eunjae, Eun and Jiwon were together at Belle Époque, and after discussing what they wanted to eat, they went for Tangsuyuk and some fire chicken for lunch because their fridge’s condition was dire. There was no food at all.

The three sat together at the dining table and started munching the food. Eunjae candidly asked a question,

Eunjae: Jiwon-sunbae, aren’t you gonna go out today?

Jiwon: Me? I don’t know.

Eunjae and Eun glanced at each other as they heard Jiwon’s reply. Eun added,

Eun: But why? You have a boyfriend now. You should go and meet him.

Jiwon smirked a little and responded,

Jiwon: So what if I have a boyfriend? I mean, we don’t have to see each other every day right?

Eunjae: But don’t you miss him already? Usually couples who just got together want to see each other every day…

Eun: I agree. That’s so true.

Jiwon being Jiwon, she replied,

Jiwon: Aish, don’t compare me with other people. Don’t you guys know I’m special and unique? I’m sure he’s fine. It’s not like he’s dying to see me now.

Eunjae and Eun just stayed still as both partly disagreed to Jiwon’s comment, but they brushed it off as there’s no point in talking back to Jiwon who’s all for her self-confidence.

Sungmin’s Apartment

12.35 p.m.

Sungmin’s usually a morning person, but strangely, he woke up past noon that day. It was the first time he could sleep that soundly after the misunderstanding incident with Jiwon the other day. He literally thought that Jiwon hated him, and he couldn’t get himself to sleep.

Sungmin stretched his body and put on a huge and happy smile. He reached out his hand towards his phone that’s on the bedside table.

He unlocked his phone and opened the message Jiwon sent him. He squealed and kicked his blanket when he saw it,

‘It feels like a dream,’ Sungmin thought.

Right at that moment, Sungmin wanted to ask Jiwon out, but he wanted to keep his cool, and decided to wait for Jiwon to say Hi or make the move first.

Sungmin went for a shower and thought Jiwon would text him, it was lunch time anyway, so he expected a message from Jiwon. As Sungmin finished showering and went out to check his phone with a smile, his expression suddenly turned disappointed as there wasn’t any message coming in from his girlfriend.

To calm himself down, he thought, ‘maybe she’s still sleeping. I’ll wait longer.’ He then went to the kitchen to cook ramyun. He turned on the TV and sat down on the sofa in the living room while eating the ramyun that he cooked right from the pot.

Knowing Brothers appeared on TV, and Sungmin seemed to enjoy it at first, but after 30 minutes trying to watch the variety show, it got boring, so he changed one channel up.

Right at that moment, the TV showed a drama where a couple was having a sweet date out on a beautiful day. He looked back to see the sky from the huge window behind him. He turned off the TV right away, went to his room to wear his navy bomber jacket, put on his shoes and stormed out of the apartment.

Belle Époque

1.30 p.m.

Yeeun reached Belle Époque and saw her parents drove off. She walked towards Belle Époque’s house entrance with her face looking sullen. She stopped halfway to grab her phone in her purse to call Hochang.

Hochang: Hello?

Yeeun skipped greeting him back and asked,

Yeeun: Can we meet?

Hochang was a little startled when Yeeun dashed him with a question right away.

Hochang: … Eo… of course. Where do you want to meet?

Yeeun: Just at the usual place.

Hochang: When?

Yeeun: Now.

Yeeun hung up as soon as she finished her words. She knew she was acting cold towards Hochang on the phone, but as a matter of fact, she really didn’t mean to talk to him that way.

At the café…

Hochang was already seated when Yeeun came in through the glass door. Hochang waved at Yeeun with a smile to signal where he was sitting. Yeeun took a sit in front of him.

Without beating around the bush, Hochang who saw Yeeun’s sullen expression, asked,

Hochang: What’s the matter?

Yeeun had her face looking down, just staring blankly at the table while flicking her nails. After a while, Yeeun finally looked up and answered,

Yeeun: You… are you okay if my parents want to meet you?

Hochang who heard what Yeeun just said, pointed his index finger at himself,

Hochang: Me?

Yeeun nodded her head twice to respond.

Hochang pondered and replied with confidence,

Hochang: Yeah. I’m okay.

Yeeun whose expression was dark, turned lighter. She clearly didn’t expect Hochang, whom she knew was ‘socially awkward,’ could answer the question confidently.

Yeeun: Are you sure?

Hochang: Yeah. Definitely.

Yeeun: You’re not scared?

Hochang: Ani, I’m scared, but I’ll meet them… for you.

Yeeun, who heard Hochang’s answer had her eyes teary, but before her tears could fall, she looked up and wiped it with her wrists. Yeeun told Hochang how she truly felt,

Yeeun: Honestly, I’m scared. I’m scared because I know what my parents expect of my boyfriend and I’m so worried that they may not accept you.

Hochang couldn’t stand Yeeun looking sad, so he stood up and sat beside Yeeun to hug her. He said,

Hochang: Yeeun-ah, it’s okay… It will all be okay.

Yoon-sunbae’s Home

12:34 p.m.

After Yoon-sunbae gulped down some water from a glass, her mom opened a conversation,

Mom: Jinmyung-ah…

Jinmyung: Hm…?

Mom: Aren’t you turning 30 this year?

Jinmyung: Yes…

Yoon-sunbae’s mom smiled as she seemed to remember something on her mind.

Mom: You know, when I was turning 30, I already have you who was in 1st grade and Jinho who’s 4 years old.

After her mom paused for a while, she continued,

Mom: I married your dad when I was 23 and had you when I was 24. It was honestly the best time of my life. Having a loving husband and a cute baby girl.

Yoon-sunbae’s lips stretched a little as she thought, ‘That’s true…. Dad was indeed a loving figure.’

Mom: So I was gonna ask you…

Yoon-sunbae looked at her mom’s eyes and waited for her to finish her words,

Mom: Now that you’re working in a reputable company and have a stable income, why don’t you build a family soon? Eomma knows you have a boyfriend.

Yoon-sunbae froze when her mom suddenly brought up marriage.

Jinmyung: Eomma… why are you suddenly bring up marriage?

Mom: Jinmyung-ah, mom is getting old now, and I have no one but you in this family... Before I leave this world, it’s my dream to see my child start a family of her own.

Yoon-sunbae totally understood her mother’s wish. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, Yoon-sunbae responded,

Jinmyung: Eomma, you know what? I do want to fulfill your wish, I really do…. But I want to let fate decide when the best time for me to do it will be. Nowadays, there are so many things to consider before marriage. The least I can do is to introduce him to you first, but I can’t promise anything yet.

As soon as Yoon-sunbae finished her words, her mom held her hand and said,

Mom: Thank you, Jinmyung-ah....

Belle Époque

3.40 p.m.

Yoon-sunbae got back and everyone was home.

Jinmyung: Hello, girls

The girls looked at Yoon-sunbae’s direction and greeted her back,

Everyone: Annyeong!

Jiwon saw Yoon-sunbae carrying a large bag, and she quickly approached her to help with the things,

Jiwon: Yoon-sunbae, what are these? Wow… home-cooked food?!

Jinmyung: Hm…

Jiwon: Ya….. How nice! Did you visit your mom today?

Jinmyung: Eo, I did.

Jiwon expressed her sadness as she thought about why her mom or dad hadn’t visited to send her some side dishes. She really had no choice but to order in food for lunch earlier.

Suddenly, Jiwon’s phone rang and when she saw the caller ID, she smiled and tucked her hair behind her left ear.

Jiwon: Annyeong!

Jiwon answered the call cheerfully.

The Belle Époque girls had their attention on Jiwon as she exclaimed on the phone.

From the other side of the call, Sungmin said,

Sungmin: Come out.

Jiwon who heard Sungmin’s reply on the phone, frowned a little as she was wondering what’s happening.

She approached the veranda and looked down. Sungmin was there, standing outside the courtyard in front of his car. Jiwon swiftly ran downstairs as soon as she saw Sungmin.

Jiwon approached Sungmin with open arms, but just before she could hug him, Sungmin said,

Sungmin: Stop.

Jiwon who was confused about Sungmin’s word just stood still and thought, ‘why is he like this?’

Sungmin asked Jiwon while looking at the sky with both his hands in the pockets,

Sungmin: Don’t you miss me?

Jiwon who heard Sungmin’s weird question, replied,

Jiwon: Huh?

Sungmin: Aish… Don’t-you-miss-me???

Jiwon couldn’t answer Sungmin’s question and stared at him blankly. She didn’t know how to react.

At the same time, Sungmin couldn’t stand staying cool anymore, and quickly pulled Jiwon into his embrace.

Sungmin: Why didn’t you text me today?

Jiwon: I don’t know…. That’s how we always were…

Sungmin: I know, but we’re different now… Do you know how much I missed you?

After Sungmin popped hat question, he looked at Jiwon’s eyes and lips and moved his face closer to kiss Jiwon, but before their lips could touch, a loud voice came from across the street,

Man: Ya you scoundrel! What are you doing?!

A man and a woman in their mid-50s were seen standing from across the street with their hands holding bags of what seemed like packed foods.

Suddenly, Jiwon exclaimed with a joyful expression,

Jiwon: Appa!

Sungmin: M… mwo? Appa?!

Jiwon: Appa! Eomma!

Jiwon ran towards the man and woman and gave them a big hug.

Sungmin who was left standing outside Belle Époque’s courtyard freeze and thought, ‘I’m so screwed.’

Belle Époque

4.03 p.m.

Sungmin sat next to Jiwon on the sofa. He had both his hands on his laps, feeling more nervous than ever. On the front left sat Jiwon’s dad and mom. They were both scanning Sungmin from head to toe.

The Belle Époque girls were inside Eun’s room, all trying to eavesdrop from the door.

Feeling the awkwardness and tension dominating the atmosphere, Jiwon suggested,

Jiwon: Dad… Mom… Why don’t we do this another time? You all must feel tired from the journey to reach here, right? Hehehehehehe

Jiwon stopped herself from her awkward laugh as her parents didn’t show her any interest for her effort to make them return home.

Dad: So… What’s your name?

Jiwon’s dad asked Sungmin. He himself didn’t know where to start, so asking name was the best thing to do.

Sungmin: My name is Im Sungmin.

Sungmin’s heart beat uncontrollably fast as soon as he finished his response.

Dad: Hm... How did you know my daughter?

Sungmin: I first met her during the university orientation 4 years ago. Jiwon and I take the same major, and we’re also members of the same university newspaper club.

Dad and mom nodded in acknowledgement.

Jiwon’s mom was curious about Sungmin too, so she asked in place of her husband,

Mom: What do your parents do?

Hearing this, Jiwon uttered,

Jiwon: Eomma-

Before she could finish, Sungmin signaled her that it’s fine, so she stopped.

Sungmin: My father works in a TV station, and my mother is a housewife.

Mom: TV station? Is that why you pursued journalism? So you can follow your father’s path?

Sungmin: Not exactly, Eomoni… I really do have passion in journalism. I like to gather facts and think objectively abut current issues. In the future, I do aspire to become one of the key people in the industry.

Hearing Sungmin’s answer that’s full of confidence and certainty about his preference and life goal, Jiwon’s parents shared a glance and nodded in acceptance.

Dad: So… Why do you like our daughter?

Jiwon thought in nervousness about what Sungmin’s gonna respond, ‘is he gonna talk about my sexiness? Or my skills in bed?’ Realizing how inappropriate her thought was, Jiwon shook her head to come to her senses.

Sungmin: Jiwon is...

(The girls in Eun’s room gathered near the door, Eun had her right ear sticking on the door so that she could eavesdrop the conversation).

Sungmin: a person who makes me happy. She may be very talkative and hyper sometimes, and honestly irritating at some point, but I do feel comfortable being around her.

She’s the only one who can make me laugh and lighten up my heart during the hard times.

When I was preparing for my final exams last semester, she even delivered books to my desk at the university newspaper club. But more than anything,

Sungmin looked over to Jiwon who’s sitting beside him and continued his words,

Sungmin: My heart only flutters for Jiwon. That’s what I realized for the past 2 years while having a crush on her.

Without realizing, Jiwon’s mom was smiling ear to ear, her palms were covering her heart. She was deeply touched by Sungmin’s words.

Jiwon, who didn’t expect Sungmin to answer the question that way, had her eyes sparkling in wonder.

Eun overheard Sungmin’s words and whispered the content to the rest of the girls behind her. Yeeun and Eunjae squealed, but Yoon-sunbae asked them to be quiet, so the people outside won’t notice that they’ve been listening in.

After considering Sungmin’s answer, Dad told Sungmin while nodding,

Dad: Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.

Dad then suggested,

Dad: Yeobo, let’s get going then.

After learning that Jiwon’s parents wanted to go home, Sungmin offered,

Sungmin: Abeonim, Eomonim… Can I drop you off at the bus station?

Jiwon whispered,

Jiwon: Ya! Are you crazy?!

Sungmin didn’t budge, but he saw Jiwon’s parents sharing a glance. They agreed.

On the way to the bus station in the car, there was silence in the air, so Jiwon tried to open a conversation,

Jiwon: Eomma, Appa… Why did you come to Seoul so suddenly today?

Mom replied,

Mom: Well, what’s wrong with your parents wanting to see you and sending you food?

She added,

Mom: If we didn’t come, how are we gonna find out that you have a boyfriend already? Why didn’t you tell us?

Sungmin’s grip on the steering wheel fastened as he gulped in nervousness. Sungmin uttered,

Sungmin: I apologize, Abeonim and Eomonim… I should have sent my greetings to you first.

To that, Jiwon’s mom replied with a genuine smile, expressing her fondness for Sungmin,

Mom: Ani, it’s not your fault at all, Im-seobang.

Jiwon blurted,

Jiwon: Mwo? S…seobang?!

Sungmin blinked his eyes and gulped again as he was startled at Jiwon’s mom’s statement.

As they reached the bus station, Sungmin gave Jiwon’s dad a handshake plus a 90° bow, and Jiwon’s dad gave him a pat on the back, saying

Dad: Right, I’ll leave our Jiwon to you. Take care of her well.

Sungmin: Yes, I will, Abeonim.

When Sungmin was about to give Jiwon’s mom a 90° bow, she prevented him from doing it and instead gave him a motherly hug and spoke,

Mom: Thank you, for loving our Jiwon. You’re my daughter’s first boyfriend.

Sungmin could only smile at Jiwon’s mom’s words. He bowed once more and let the parents leave before them.

As Jiwon and Sungmin saw the parents disappear in front of them, Jiwon turned her body to Sungmin, teasing him with her cute voice, and pinched his cheeks,

Jiwon: Sungmin-aaaaah, you did so well!

Sungmin pulled himself back, trying to stop Jiwon.

Sungmin: Ya ya ya ya! Stop it! You-

Jiwon let go of her fingers on Sungmin’s cheeks and turned back, walking towards the car. But before she walked too far, Sungmin chased her and gave her a peck on the lips. He said,

Sungmin: This is for the failed kiss that I wanted to give you earlier in front of the house.  

Jiwon complained at the briefness of the kiss,

Jiwon: Aish! If you want to repay it, do it properly!

Jiwon tip-toped and kissed Sungmin’s lips with all her might. She sprung in her steps for the remaining distance to Sungmin’s car.

Sungmin chuckled as he saw his girlfriend’s cute and spontaneous behavior. He followed behind to his car.

6.12 p.m.

On the bus, on the way home…

Jiwon’s Mom: Yeobo, what do you think of that kid?

Dad responded,

Dad: Well, I like him. He knew what he wants in life and I can see the sincerity in him.

Jiwon’s mom nodded in agreement. Something came up on her mind suddenly and asked,

Mom: But I’m curious… Can a person who works at a TV station buy his kid who’s in the university a nice car like that?

Upon hearing her words, dad looked over to his wife and started to question the same thing.

Glossary

Makjang (drama): a sylistic, tonal, or narrative element in dramas that chooses to play up outrageous storylines to keep viewers hooked despite how ridiculous the stories become [T/N from dramabeans.com]

Tangsuyuk: Sweet and sour pork

Seobang: An expression used to 1) address one’s son-in-law or to 2) address someone’s husband (in this case it applies to no. 1)

Thanks for reading.

Read the next chapter:

Chapter 5

[v-le]

An Ugly Wall of Text from Your Average Inspirit

Hello friends, it seems as if my impulsive posts are more common than my carefully structured and articulated ones these days.

Despite being deep into Week 2 of UC right now, the past happenings with the Infinite members have pushed me to especially look for an outlet to unleash my somewhat “rampant” emotions.

Yesterday, I discovered that basically all the Infinite members (besides Sungyeol at the moment), went on an “unfollow Hoya on Instagram and delete all pictures of him and OT7” spree. As a foreword, I am not saying that I know exactly what happened, nor do I want to pose any viable answers. I simply want to talk about how this makes me feel.

First, Infinite has grown significantly, no, immensely since I first started following them around 2011. It is now almost 2018. To put this concisely, I loved them back then, and I love them even more today. I have matured 7 years since then, and so have they. There were admittedly times in between the years where I was too busy with school, too tired, just too caught up with life, to even pay much attention to them. But never once did I take their existence for granted. I had full faith (or maybe just too much hope) that they would always be there for as long as they could.

During the summer of this year, I began creating an “Infinite Appreciation Post”, which I never exactly got around to finishing due to various reasons (procrastination being the biggest one). Here is the rough draft that I had composed:

After much procrastination, I’ve finally sat down and decided to create this! My journey with Infinite literally grew alongside with my Korean music roots way back in the day. With the passing of their 7th anniversary, and their unfortunately prolonged contract discussion, I found the need to make this post hurriedly. Without further ado…

 THIS IS INFINITE

Adorkable

If you’ve watched Infinite enough on variety shows and other things, you would know that these boys are absolute goofballs. Honestly there are so many memorable moments that have made me laugh/cry, but they’re mostly from their earlier days because, yes, I admit, it was extremely hard to keep up these past 2-ish years with school & such.

A few (of MANY) favorite moments:

I’m not a monkey, but i love     banana

Jjik-jjik boy

Name all the members in     5-sec(?)

“L L L L L L !!” “.......why is     the answer L?”

INFINITE H’s Milk song

Gwiyomi Song Sungyeol Ver.

GAE SHAMPOO

Just Dongwoo laughing

Infinite watching fetus     INFINITE videos

Hoya’s eleupantery skool

   Discography

I admit that Kpop is not really my preference anymore, but when it was, Infinite’s music blew me away. Their sound back in the day was distinct, almost a sort of 80’s style twist, with consistent synths, well-structured progression, and vocals that gave a strong impact. Their songs were, and still are, nothing short of catchy. My all-time favorite Infinite song will most probably be Shot. There is not one second in that song that doesn’t sound like absolute perfection. I think it is safe to say that as of mid-2014, probably starting with Back (or maybe if we go even farther, say Destiny era??), Infinite’s tracks have transformed into mixtures of EDM and orchestral bravados(?). If anything, it is quite unconventional, quite bold, but nonetheless still  Infinite-esque, and of course, catchy.

A few (of many) honorable mentions in no particular order:

Can U Smile (Acoustic Ver.)

The Chaser

Molla

I Like You

Feel So Bad

Rosinante

Sonagi

Last Romeo

Still I Miss You

ZERO

Air

3분의1

Request

Missing You

Inception

Paradise

Hysterie

Wings

Entrust

Infinite’s (Korean) discography is probably one of the only Kpop boy band discographies that I know like the back of my hand. They have created real masterpieces.

 Performances

Infinite’s stage presence is… indescribable. Just watch for yourself. These boys know what they’re doing, and they know that they’re good at it. Whether it be intense dance routines, emotional ballad renditions, or simply a stellar title song performance, Infinite will really, truly, never fail to captivate the audience (which I have been blessed to be a part of twice back in 2013 & 2014). Also, I’d like to give special recognition to  their Immortal Songs Performances because those are on a whole other level. I always wonder, idols, or genuine artists??? Or BOTH?

A few (of many) legendary performances:

Please Don’t by K.Will ft.     INFINITE H

60 Seconds by INFINITE

Be Mine by INFINITE

Still I Miss You by INFINITE

Acoustic Medley by INFINITE

Freeze by INFINITE

Thank You by INFINITE

Sonagi by INFINITE

IS2 Faves

Busan Seagull by INFINITE H

Day ‘Till the Sun Rises by     Sunggyu & Woohyun

In the Rain by INFINITE H

By Woohyun

 OTPs

Who doesn’t love to ship a few beautiful bromances now and then? Honestly, I feel like these boys are so close that they can probably pull off an OTP with each and every member. BUT, here are some of legendary ones:

Woogyu

Myungyeol

Yadong

Myungjong

Woosoo

2Woo

Hoyeol

Gyujong

 Little did I know that a month and a half later, my world would fall apart. The key point I am trying to get at here is that, with all my heart’s devotion, with an undying burn, I supported Infinite even as the years trickled by. I missed them, cherished them, waited for them, believed in them, and thanked them. Thanked them thousands and thousands of times in my head. I knew how much it meant for a 2nd generation kpop group like them to still be alive & whole since debut, and I was so eternally thankful for that.

 I say this all the time, but I never in the slightest expected a member to leave. Not after everything they’ve been through and everything they’ve said. But knowing their personalities and their “brotherhood”, I think it’s safe to say that we all assumed they separated on more or less good terms. Especially since this decision took 3 months to come to, they probably all discussed this extensively and came to an agreement, right…?

And now, the members have explicitly shown a somewhat bold reaction by unfollowing Hoya & deleting pictures of him and the group as whole from their Instagram.

CREDITS: @NASH357_ on Twitter

I’ll say this blatantly: I get that Hoya is no longer a part of Infinite or has any association with them, but you cannot delete photos of him and the entire group as if the past seven years never happened.

I don’t know why or who (if anyone specific) was behind this, and I don’t think anyone will ever really know. Whether the members were forced to do this, and if they, in fact, still talk to Hoya on personal terms, we will never know.

However, I don’t think cutting public ties like that fixes anything. It just made me feel even more conflicted.

 The faith that I had in Infinite was overwhelming. Pardon my excessiveness, but no matter how petty or immature I sound, I want to make it clear that, yes, I fell right into their “We’ll last forever together” trap. Because why wouldn’t I? Is it me being naïve or is the world just being cruel? I think it’s the latter.

The first major emotion I feel is sadness. Pure depression. I wish every single day that all of this was just a bad nightmare. That all of this was just a big accident and that Hoya will return one day. I wish with all my heart that all seven of them are still together. That’s all I want. Together. All 7. Not 6. 7 is everything, everything is 7. But I know that will never happen, and that makes me indescribably sad.

Next, I feel like I’ve been tricked. I feel like I’ve blindly believed in the lies of boys that kept promises they couldn’t keep. I should’ve seen this coming, considering the trends of all the 2nd gen. kpop groups these days. But at the same time, no, I had way too much faith in them. I told myself they’d never end up like the rest of them. That Infinite was different. But they weren’t. They weren’t, and aren’t, different in the slightest.  I feel almost stupid, for putting so much faith into them. Why did I invest so much hope into their future? Was it even necessary? Why did I fall in so deep, when I was bound to get cut anyway? On the other hand, a perfectly reasonable answer: because I am their fan.

Lastly, I feel conflicted. I’m wavering between the urge to scream and cry, or maybe do both?? WHY? Just why? Why did this have to happen to my ultimate group? Why did I have to watch the world fall apart on August 29th, 2017? All I really know is that I miss Infinite. I miss all of them, and even though I kept repeating that phrase throughout the summer while they were taking ages to renew their contracts, little did I know that I would be saying it for the rest of eternity now.

In all honesty, I actually had a fleeting moment of thought in which I almost wanted to give up on them altogether. Not just Hoya, but Infinite, too, just all of them. I wanted to drop this Inspirit gig and completely convert to following singer-songwriters and real musicians like I basically already do. Infinite was my last kpop straw. I never ever, ever, thought I would ever think like that. I almost began to fear myself, because how could I think to throw away everything so quickly, over Instagram followings???

 In conclusion, I am clearly still not really okay. It’s been a little over a month since Hoya left, but my world is still tipped upside down. I’m still really lost, I still really miss Infinite, and I just…. I’m still really traumatized.

  But I’m sure, just like anything and anyone else, I will get over this with time. Time will fade the lines between anger and sadness and I’ll think of this event as just a bad day. Or at least I hope. I’ll get through this. And if you’re in the same boat as me, don’t worry, you will, too! And if you thought I was just plain crazy throughout this entire rant and just judged me the entire way through, it’s okay! Think what you want, but all that really tells me is that you’re not a true fan anyway :’). True fans can’t pick up their heads and smile and tell the rest of the world to get over it that fast. So please, let my lamenting self be. It’ll be okay, one day.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Kawaii Box September 2017

Sorry if you were waiting for this Cuties, but as of late I find it harder and harder to actually enjoy my Kawaii Box subscription and I don’t look forward to it...

As I’m sure you have noticed a lot of people have been making complaints towards the brand regarding official/not official merchandise. Now, I don’t want to believe these people because honestly- they could be bitter ex-employees or some other silly nonsense; even with provided proof. Contacting Kawaii Box is not an option either because of course they would deny it. Which is why I ultimately decided to stick with the brand and just wait until I see it for myself.

I’m not trying to say I support forgeries but I do like the box and mostly all of their products are good and seem official, and to be fair it’s also a cheap box that gives you several items in comparison to some others. We don’t have the entire story behind the supposed fake products either, so what kind of person would I be to give up on Kawaii Box because of a few unhappy customers?

With that said, let’s just get into this. I hope you enjoy and keep in mind that I am not someone worth flaming or harassing because I remain with this box. If you don’t like it that’s fine, but please keep me out of it.

Since it’s reveal, Ufufy products from Disney have been increasing like crazy. But why wouldn’t they? With their soft, dreamy pastels and plush quality~

So basically, this is a Disney Ufufy Plushie with an adorable zippered seam on top to store little items. I got Dale, who I admit isn’t my top choice from this line, but he is my favorite between Chip & Dale. He’s full of a spongy-like cotton and has a small, felt and plastic acorn ornament hanging from his zipper. 

If I really had to complain, I would say that he seems to be missing a chain of some sort. Usually these types of ornamental plush have them, but this one doesn’t. Sure, you could easily get one to put on them if you really wanted to- but I just found it unusual. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

(Do you like my new rating scale? I feel it’s a bit more fun than just numbers, but the highest score will still be a 5.)

Next is this... actually kinda bland but still cute Unicorn Squishy Charm. It’s exactly the same as the Kaomoji and Tofu squishy’s I got in prior boxes- but in this unicorn shape. It’s not a slow riser, but it is very soft; which I actually value more over the rising speed.

Rating: ♥ 

Honestly, the fact that it’s a little cute and ultra-soft are the only good things about it. I’m sure you can tell, but look at this paint job! It’s very boring and not even all that accurate. A lot of the mane is white and the horn has a lot of uncolored spots (which you can’t see from this angle). Not only that but the cut of this squishy has a lot of remnant.

Later, while checking the online shop for this particular squishy I also found out that not only is this how it is SOLD, but there is a supposed watermelon candy scent. But I assure you mine smells like soybean flour, like the other ones, despite having no contact with them at all.

The eyes are lovely and I haven’t had any problems with that thankfully. But this squishy is too much of a mess to be saved by cute eyes and softness.

Next are some cute little deco items, including a Korean Diary Deco Sticker sheet, and a Washi Masking Tape Set.

First up, stickers :D These are so tiny and precious (look at the third row, tiny adorable candy jars ♥). They are suggested for use in a diary but the back also shows some other places where you could use them- like on notes, envelopes, and other things begging to be spiced up.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

They’re so tiny that I’d worry about losing them before I could even apply them. I do like the gimmick behind them but I wish they could be a little bit bigger. Not only that but a few of them are kind of crude; I really don’t need stickers of a man tinkling. They’re also super hard to peel off (coming from a girl with long nails). But at the same time I do love the variety of emotions and sayings they could convey, and I like that they have a translucent background.

Next is the Washi Masking Tape. Since I didn’t have the time to actually demonstrate what it looks like I took the picture from the back of the box.

Both rolls are fairly simple, featuring muted colors and random items and objects on the blue roll, while the white has large bunny designed candies.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

While I’m not a huge fan of the design or style, I also think it’s pretty cute and the tape itself is a really nice quality in comparison to past tapes I have had. It’s a lot harder to tear and feels much more sturdy, in comparison to the flimsier previous tapes.

(On a side note, I also like the peep window on the side of the box.)

Next are some kawaii little Fairy Tale Hair Pins/(clips). This is a sweet little set of three hair accessories featuring a pink scheme and a solid, plastic girl on the side.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

As cute as these are, I actually did have an issue with them... The plastic girl pieces were extremely loose and flimsy, in fact 2 of them popped off! With some strong glue I had I was able to fix it, but it’s still a bit frustrating. If one hadn’t popped off during the photography session, I would have probably lost them when I wore them out of the house like I was planning to the next day. 

Now this is one of the BEST things you can have for daily school or work, or pretty much any life outside of the house, a Kawaii Hand Sanitizer Bottle. As soon as I saw this it made me think of something you would find at Claire’s or some other trend happy store in the mall. The colors are bold and vibrant, and the product is made from a rubbery plastic so you can swap the bottle out, or just remove the cap to add product by hand.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Now, I don’t exactly love the product; but I think it’s pretty cute and I like how easy it is to maneuver. I also like the thought, considering you know, germs and all. However I probably won’t be using it because as of last November; I hopped onto the bath and body works Pocketbac hype train!

I’ve been collecting those Cuties for almost a year now :3 I’m psyched to celebrate my anniversary next month with my recent affair ♥

Buttttt I could always fill this up with some product if I really wanted to use it, or if I wanted to gift someone with something. This would be perfect with a vanilla or berry scent~

As usual, Kawaii Box likes to offer us something sweet, and this month we got this adorable Happy Nikukyu Cat/Dog Paw Gummies. I prefer cats, but I actually did have an orange & grape flavored cat set before; so this was kind of fun. Look at the pudgy puppy~

Essentially if you tried one set you tried them all. The paw shape and quality is the same on each style/type, but this one features a lovely peach flavor~

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥  1/2

These aren’t the worst gummies I’ve had by far. They’re adorable and squishy-soft, but the problem bothering me is the texture left in my mouth after I eat one, from the white powdery coating they put on them. Not only that, but even though this isn’t set to expire until February 2018... they taste like peaches with a tiny hint of barf/old candy.

I’ve had other peach candy before lacking that “interesting after-taste”, so... yeah. They’re not bad, but it’s a bit... weird. 

Another ultra-cute item for school, work, or just your desk: the Little Animals Stationary Set!

(Btw I was not trying to rhyme just now.)

You pretty much get it and more with this set :3 a pencil pouch, a led pencil, two double-sided pencils, a pencil sharpener, a 15cm ruler, and a little eraser (with an even smaller slot to write your name).

Ranking: ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s very sweet and cute, but like the other items in this particular box- it has some issues. First off, the double-sided pencils are hard to remove from the pouch! Like seriously, it’s a flimsy pouch and I’m afraid I’ll break it trying to take them out. Not only that but none of the pencils have an eraser; you only get this one little (very cute) thing. I admit it works like MAGIC, but it is too small to last very long- unless you’re the type to rarely ever need an eraser maybe.

(I was not one of those types at all, so I carried a LOT of erasers to play it safe)

This is another adorable storage unit, featuring everyone’s favorite: HELLO KITTY ♥ This is a Hello Kitty Tin Pencil Case, featuring this lovely motif on the lid and the “shelf” inside of the container, which has a times table on it. The inside (which I couldn’t picture) features a pink and white hello kitty design on a diamond tile background.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

It’s pink, it’s Hello Kitty, it’s especially hand to help me store pencils/pens/school items I get from these crates, I love it!

Lastly is this Uranaikko Colored Pencils set. These little wooden pencils are great for bringing with you to wherever you could possibly need some color in your life; like at school, work, or to occupy a child for ten minutes :D

As you can kinda see, they also come with a built-in pencil sharpener (which works very well, I did test it out). Despite their small size they’re not awkward to hold either. I also found myself oddly entertained by the sounds they make when you shake the container around ♥ Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ They’re adorable! I love to draw/color with them. The only downside is that because of their small size they clearly won’t last too long if you use them a lot...  

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 3 out of 5. Essentially almost everything got a middle rating, but I didn’t hate anything; even the 1 or 2 items I wasn’t overwhelmingly in love with I still liked to some extent.

Quality - 2 out of 5. The reason the rank is so low for this is because the items I had fault with wasn’t out of preference, but due to actual legitimate issues- like messy paint or quality, cheap details, etc. Usually it’s never this bad.

Theme - 5 out of 5. Compared to usual, this one actually conveyed a well, thought out theme to me :D it’s very school/work oriented, and provides several items perfect for September, when most people start school or are still working. I’m actually very happy with it!

Total Rank: 10 out of 15 Cuties. Honestly, the fact that nearly everything matches the apparent theme and that I essentially did like enough to consider it a non-failure box. Had I not liked much in it- I definitely would have given this a lower score.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Fairy Tale Hair Clips - Even if I had a little difficulty with them and had to repair them before I used them... they’re so cute!!

2. Stationery Set - Everything is covered with cute characters!

3. Hello Kitty Pencil Tin - It’s covered in designs; and pinkness :D 

4. Dale Ufufy Plush - General Ufufy cuteness mixed with Dale’s natural charm~

5. Stickers - They’re so cute and tiny~ 

6. Dog Paw Gummies - Nothing new, bu they’re squishy-soft and the puppy on the package is so cute. I wanna tickle his tummy~

7. Ice Cream Sanitizer Holder - It’s fairly generic looking to me. I like colors but I kinda prefer them in softer shades; this one feels like a headache. 

8. Colored Pencils - They’re simple little wooden sticks with color, but they’re small and precious~

9. Unicorn Squishy - Generic cuteness; but the fact it has so many flaws keeps it low scoring.

10. Washi tape - It was cute but no entirely in the way I like.

Okay! So that does it for everyone review x3 it took me longer than usual- but it’s probably because I was out of practice. I’m so excited because any day now I’ll be getting my Tokyo Treat box, and because my birthday is on Sunday! I have 3 of October’s crates so far, and I did do my DIY from last months TT box so I’ll probably be covering that review next. Until next time, say cute!