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polar-stars · 4 years ago

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facts about eizan,marui nakiri and ibusaki family pls

Thanks for asking....It was a bit difficult for me to answer but I tried my best (also sorry, I changed the order....I memorised it differently for some reason ovo;;)

The Eizans:

- The Four Horsemen of Apocalypse + Nene //slaps herself

- (I already feel that this will be a challenge to explain...I’ll try my very best to convey what I want to say but uhm, apology in advance if the following just sounds like a scrambled mess) The Eizan-Family has much of a reputation within the culinary world and, well, let’s just say it could be a more positive one. While adulthood, his marriage to Nene and becoming father did make Etsuya less extreme he’s still not exactly a saint. While he did take a step back from dirty tactics and straight up cheating in his business strategies, he’s still ruthless and, you could possibly even say, brutal in his ways using his intellect and understanding of the market to defeat his opponents fairly. Combined with the stigma the Eizan-name had before he even married Nene, Etsuya is regarded as someone that you should think twice about messing with by most. Meanwhile Nene might not be known for destroying people’s businesses, but she still has this frosty, rigid aura that a lot of people consider to be intimidating. She’s known as excellent, and intellectual, chef and her opinion is hold in high regard by a lot of people. Lastly it’s also evident that her three sons massively respect her and that she’s also capable of making her husband shut up with just a simple displeased “Etsuya”. The Eizan-men are not exactly known for hearing out other people much so the fact that this woman is capable of, for the lack of a better word, “tame” these four with just the use of a scowl at times is very respectable and in its own right fearsome to a bunch of people. As a couple, Etsuya and Nene generally make much of a formal and stiff impression in public. They don’t really emit friendly-social-butterfly-energy in my humble opinion and their standoffish, unreadable, strict expressions makes even some of the best conversationalists gulp when approaching them. Then there’s also their sons. While Kei, being the youngest, is not much on people’s radars at this point and is mainly just commonly regarded as “the youngest”, “the third one” etc. Masashi and Shigeo are personalities that a large part of the cooking Elite is pretty aware of. The two stand high in Totsuki’s social hierarchy and are feared by a large part of the students. ALL IN ALL, this is a long way of me saying that the name “Eizan” does send shivers down a few people’s spines and they are considered as very intimidating by many. (God, time to catch my breath)

- Nene might be regarded as the cold ice queen from outside but in private she kinda is the one that holds the family together. While she does have the last say in this household and while she can most definitely be pretty strict, she does still deeply care about the family the most openly and often makes attempts to get them all to spend time together. While not as extreme as other mothers, she can be pretty rather doting towards her sons in her own way. Nene was raised in a clan with long tradition and history after all and while I don’t think she had the most personal relationship with her parents at all, I still think that a clan like that would teach her that family is everything which is why she values it a lot. Also I think, she actually saw them very, very frequently. It’s a contrast to Etsuya, who I believe was raised by two very distant people who were rarely around and when they were they really beat the idea in his head that money is above everything. (This upbringing is what made it hard to him picturing himself as dad when Nene first pitched the idea to him. He does try his best though)

- Etsuya’s aunt just lives a couple blocks away from where the Eizans live. Therefore the Eizan brothers could get there on their own at a certain age. Etsuya’s aunt often watched the kids, if she wasn’t out travelling which she would do a lot in her old age.

- Sometimes Nene and Etsuya were forced to take their children with them to work when Etsuya’s aunt was out of town once again and they couldn’t find a babysitter. Masashi always went with Nene, while Shigeo went with Etsuya. With Kei, they alternated. Nene’s service staff actually really likes Masashi as he’s very respectful and polite with them since they’re adults. They always shower him with praise when he practices his cooking. Meanwhile Shigeo is commonly regarded as brat by Etsuya’s employees but of course no one would say that out loud. Sometimes Etsuya would order one of his workers to look after Shigeo and entertain him for a bit. This task is feared because Shigeo is hell to babysit. He does what he wants and thanks to his cleverness he often manages to run off, so he can wander around the company and do his own thing. This makes the employee tasked to look after him look pretty bad in the eyes of the Boss.

- Etsuya is the one who spoils everyone. He does really want his family to be treated to the finest things in life and he makes sure of that. Nene is more practical in her spendings and not as quick to buy something for her sons as Etsuya is.

The Nakiris (This will be centered around RyoAli-Family since in my, uhm, ✨universe✨ they’re the ones that mainly go by Nakiri. I hope they are what you meant, anon)

- The apex of Japan’s culinary landscape and widely recognised in every other place of the world as well. The Nakiris are heavily respected and cherished within the industry, as they’ve always been. Their opinion is hold in very high regard. The strive to impress Nakiri Alice, the headmistress of Totsuki, specifically inspires a lot of Avantgarde dishes to be created. There’s no denying that the Nakiris are practically equal to royalty within the culinary world.

- Alice is the heart of the family. While her side of the family had always been more chill and wholesome, she still saw (and was pulled into) the drama that the rest of her family loved to cause. She does not want any of that no more now that she’s the head honcho of the Nakiri clan. Alice really puts effort into keeping the family together even if her pride keeps her from admitting this out loud.

- Alice’s and Ryo’s love to measure each other in cook-offs has gone down to their two twin-children as well, who love to face-off against each other, their Yukihira-cousins and even their parents. The competition between family-members is to both Nakiri-twins a friendly one. Even the extremely battle-heartened Lola feels so.

- The Nakiris are the hosts of an annual summer ball that takes place in their mansion at a set date each and every year. Describing said ball as an important, fancy event would be an understatement. It’s a truly grandiose and massive festive with a lot of elegance to it. Wether you’re invited to it or not can definitely be used as a factor to determine how high you stand in the culinary industry. Alice really has fun planning it each and every year. Ryo helps her out whenever he can while also Leonora gives a lot of suggestions over a video call.

- Ryo, Alice, Lola and Mona as family are honestly pretty wholesome. They don’t have a lot of fights, stick together and while Alice and Ryo are damn busy they still never fail to reserve some of their time for their family.

The Ibusakis

- The Ibusakis are pretty peaceful and, except for Kasumi Ibusaki as time goes on, they don’t get into trouble too easy.

- They live very close to a forest and since the two Ibusakis partly grew up in said forest both of them developed a very strong affinity for nature. Yasu in particular does not desire a life in the big city at all. It’s too loud, too crowded and also too polluted for him there.

- Ryoko is the one that needs breaks from their idyllic, quiet life the most. This leads to her occasionally hosting a few get-togethers. They’re not the most fancy thing out there but since it’s Ryoko doing the planning they still do have style but also a warm, light-hearted atmosphere. And of course, sake. People love to attend these and social butterfly Ryoko never runs out of people to invite. Shun meanwhile is not a very big fan of his house being invaded, but given how much fun his wife has he grits his teeth together and pull through the night. His daughter Kasumi is in strong agreement with him.

- Ryoko and Shun have a bit of a differing opinions on where to vacation as well. Ryoko mainly enjoys city-trips and all of its sightseeing and the exploration of a different culture. Meanwhile Shun just wants mountains. Nothing but mountains. The two were never prone to argue much though and are good at making compromises. So Ryoko and Shun alternate each year of who gets to choose the travel spot. So one summer it’s Barcelona for the Ibusakis and the next one’s its a hiking trip once again.

- One source of drama in the usually so peaceful Ibusaki-Family is Shun’s father. He does not have the best relationship to him as he felt that he was never really there for him. Shun’s dad in his old age does realise though how distant he had been all this time to his son. So he wants to try to be a good grandfather to his grandchildren at least. However there is the fact that Shun has not fully forgiven him yet.

The Maruis

- In comparison to the Ibusakis, the Maruis are more lively. There’s a lot more bickering going on in this household and people also often point out that the Maruis have an insanely quick pace to their conversation.

- Yuki enjoys throwing some parties (or going to some) even more than Ryoko. She’ll host a party in the Marui’s apartment every two months or so. But even more she attends parties of others and since she lives in Tokyo and has quite a large number of contacts she barely ever runs out of them. Sometimes she drags Zenji with her and lets one of her brothers watch the kids or, if it’s on weekend night and the host said there’s other children on the party as well, takes them with her as well.

- Yuki has a pretty good relationship with the rest of the Maruis as all of them adore her sunny, jolly personality while also appreciating how visibly happy she makes Zenji. Zenji also gets along fine with the Yoshinos (even if they can be a little exhausting at times). And this ultimately allows the two Marui-siblings to grow pretty close to both sides of the family.

- Yuki plans most of the family activities. She is not a big fan of spending the weekend merely at home. Here and there, Zenji wants to go somewhere though. And usually it’s just this or that new exhibition in this or that museum. Chieko prefers Zenji’s ideas for the most part, while Takahiro LARGELY prefers Yuki’s. He does not like most museums because you have to be all quiet.

- Ever since Yuki knew she’d get a daughter, she had been excited for the day where her daughter would start engaging into romance. Yuki has always been super excited about the idea of Chieko getting a boyfriend someday. She watched A TON of romance movies with Chieko in preparation basically and once Chieko’s on Totsuki she also keeps asking wether there’s any good-looking boys close. What she would have never expected is Etsuya Eizan’s and Nene Kinokuni’s second son to become Chieko’s major suitor and she does not know in the slightest how she should feel about this. Zenji meanwhile has never been the largest fan of his baby-girl getting a boyfriend to begin with and he knows very well how he feels about Shigeo Eizan: Dangerzone. Most of Chieko’s circle (her own family, but also the Ibusakis and also her friend-group) views the ShigeChi-situation as a Red Riding Hood/Big Bad Wolf kind of thing in one way or the other and a lot of them make it no secret. Once Junpei Miyazato appears on the scene both Yuki and Zenji actually make an effort to practically “market” him to Chieko as they’d both, at this point at least, prefer to see their little baby with him. Little Takahiro though meanwhile sees that there’s no guy that has quite the same effect on Chieko as Shigeo has.

#I started typing this out in the morning #thinkinf I woukd get it done in an hour #its now long past noon #This is what happens when you empower me to ramble about the Eizans #hopefully tumblr mobile wont mess up the formatting #Shokugeki no Soma #EtsuNe #RyoAli #MarYu #IbuRyo #Shokugeki no Kimiko Stuffz

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fugandhi · 4 years ago

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Why We Rise (A Meditation on Humanity)

by Adam Kenichi Wekarski

The time has come for me to write about Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy (and why it is the most important cinematic franchise of our time). *Please purchase & view the franchise in it’s entirety prior to reading this independent essay. Spoilers are No Fun for Anyone. SUPPORT The STORYTELLERS*

Although it’s a story derived from a comic book, this is not a movie franchise to be taken lightly (or for granted for that matter). Christopher Nolan’s film, “Memento” was the first work he had accomplished that I had ever seen (back in the Blockbuster days - ahem, VHS RULES!) and it is still spinnin’ my mind after all this time. Christopher Nolan ALWAYS delivers some form of ground-breaking excellence in his work - his ‘Dark Knight’ Franchise is no exception.

When one thinks of Batman, it’s very easy to consider the various forms (literature, animation, cinema, video games, etc) of said character (God Bless You, Adam West! R.I.P., Good Sir!). SO many INCREDIBLE & [BEYOND] TALENTED folks have, not only performed as the character, but have helped in shaping this character’s Monumental & Positive Imprint on contemporary society (worldwide).

I still believe Christian Bale is one of the most under-appreciated performers of our time. I first saw him in the Dark Comedy, “American Psycho” (DUDE! Holy Smack-a-RONi! Totally Bonkers & Viciously frightening). I still can’t believe he did not receive an Academy Award nomination for that performance (for shame, HollyWould). As much as I love Tim Robbins (SHAWSHANK, BaBY!), Christian Bale is one of the greatest actors of all time (100% WITHOUT A DOUBT). He plays Bruce Wayne PERFECTLY (TOTALLY the BEST Bruce Wayne OF ALL TIME! DONE! NO ARGUMENT! END-ALL-BE-ALL..”..Been there, Done that - got the album, Bought the Tee-shirt..NEXT” (Ricky Gervais, The Office [UK]). CHRISTIAN BALE DESERVED AN ACADEMY AWARD FOR “The Dark Knight Rises” - I’M SAYING IT - HE DID SUCH A PERFECT PERFORMANCE in (Yeah ALL Caps) this entire franchise. I need to address that because so many folks seemed to be swept-up in their own distractions as viewers (Yeah we get it, he disguised his voice with a growl - get over it, ya’ll). He seems to be a good person (‘seems’ being the operative word) & I’ve read about his efforts in his life off-screen (You are a Good Man, Sir) when the cameras are not around. I have a belief that it’s good for people to appreciate those ‘moments-of-truth’ more often (just one person’s opinion, take it or leave it).

Speaking of ‘moments-of-truth’ - This story (spanning across three EPIC films) is the ultimate moment-of-truth for Sir Christopher Nolan (Why Not?; He actually is CBE apparently; Respect) and his AMAZING Production TEAM’s collective efforts. So many people put their well-being on the line to make these stories happen (some even, their lives, Rest in Peace) and I believe this franchise deserves ALL of the Success & Recognition & Praise (and honestly, Time) for the awe-inspiring efforts put forth (in regards to cinematic storytelling). This is a franchise for the fans (due to how well it honors the source material & simultaneously manages to elevate the art-form).

Bruce Wayne is one of the most important modern characters of our time. Not since the days of Jesus Christ, himself, has there even been someone who sparked a universal impact (sorry ‘Supes’ - You & Ol’ ‘Batsy’ are Tied in my book) upon average people worldwide. Granted - Bruce Wayne is NO Jesus (there can only be one), however, his life’s journey is a true Test of Faith, which is a universal lesson that I firmly believe Jesus Christ was attempting to spread in his message of good faith towards one another.

Bruce Wayne (played by Christian Bale & Gus Lewis, respectively), as it is now [mostly known], was born an heir to The Wayne Family, an age-old empire in modern society (Gotham City, U.S.A.). In Christopher Nolan’s particular take on this (now-classic) SuperHero story - Reality is the cinematic setting.

“Batman Begins” is Nolan’s homage to Richard Donner’s “Superman”, having been THE standard for comic book movies (since the late 1970’s if I’m not mistaken). Having obviously been a fan of Donner’s work (Gee, who isn’t?) - it’s an obvious source-of-influence for the first installment in Christopher Nolan’s Perfect Epic.

When I had first discovered the news that Christopher Nolan was Warner Bros. Studios’ choice for a brand new Batman reboot - I have to admit I was VERY optimistic. After having seen “Memento”, and his work with that incredible team - I was very, very optimistic that for ONCE the Batman universe was going to be actually depicted like it is in the comic books (at least the ‘80s Batman Comics - Hello Dark & Gritty Vibes). Considering the mental intensity of “Memento” (and how linear-storytelling-need-not-apply) - I was absolutely curious to see how well the story would finally be done on-screen (with all due respect to Tim Burton & Joel Schumacher & All previous efforts achieved in the known story-telling community). After all is said and done, this franchise is a ‘Grand Slam’.

Christopher Nolan’s version of Milton “Bill” Finger’s (Bob Kane took all of the credit for Bill’s work; for shame) story of Bruce Wayne/Batman is the most inspiring work I’ve seen achieved on the concept (and characters) to this day. With the initial tone set in the first film - we find a young Bruce Wayne as a child - simply playing in the Wayne family’s garden with his best (& childhood) friend (and one of the most important characters in the franchise): Rachel Dawes (played by Katie Holmes, Emma Lockhart, and Maggie Gyllenhaal, respectively). Bruce & Rachel establish the innocence of childhood (and of our main protagonist) with the playful phrase, “Finders Keepers” which is followed by young Bruce falling into an old dried-out well (which then traps him into a slight crevice, filled with Bats).

As we discover in this story, the symbol of Batman has a rather deeper meaning to Bruce Wayne than what had been initially expected (unless if you’re a fan of the comics). When the first film starts to take form, we find Bruce Wayne lost in the depths of ‘hell’ as an adult man. Having been an heir to a Family’s Kingdom (so-to-speak), Bruce Wayne had lost his Mother & Father; Martha & Thomas Wayne (SUCH Good People) at a tragically-early age, having their lives taken by a lost soul in the dark of night (a reality known, all-too-well, by our own collective experiences as a contemporary society).

Martha & Thomas Wayne establish the core values that help shape Bruce Wayne as an Individual. Their Leadership, their knowledge, their wisdom, their love (their faith). All of their finest attributes shine a light on how the community - the city of Gotham (and their actions as people) help shape said community. Without their Faith, Bruce Wayne’s immediate world probably wouldn’t have even been established for him (perhaps). It is that faith that is the driving force of this franchise, and the greatest tragedy of this film is, indeed, the blatant & cold-blooded murder of Martha & Thomas Wayne. Ya know, they were really good people in terms of their contributions to their household & community & their lives, and they truly cared about their impact on the world (in a greater sense).

With such care, they made important choices (that had an effect on everyone in Gotham, regardless of outlook). Choices that made a necessary difference in, not only their home, but in their overall world. Gotham may be fictional, but I will let the fantasy play and I will acknowledge the tremendous amount of detail put into these stories that went unnoticed in the initial ‘life’ of this franchise’s release. Having said that - Unless if memory serves inaccurate, this film received a lot of unwarranted criticism for the realistic depiction of modern violence (due to the UNGodly public shooting(s) that have been taking place in our country; I acknowledge the real-life tragedies, but also acknowledge the importance of artistic vision). I say unwarranted due to the fact that Christopher Nolan managed to hold up a mirror and we need to pay close attention (and look beyond the glamour & simulated violence), and this was accomplished well-before Todd Phillips’ incredible film “Joker” had been produced (which drew plenty of inspiration from Nolan’s signature style and Heath Ledger’s actual development of said character; Joker’s Journal).

At the core of this story is Faith.

Faith is what was instilled in Martha & Thomas Wayne (and their lessons with Bruce as a boy). Alfred Pennyworth (played Beautifully by Sir Michael Caine in a Nomination-worthy performance for Best Supporting Actor in my humble opinion) is the reinforcement to protect the Wayne Family’s Honor & Good Name. On the surface, Mr. Pennyworth is Bruce Wayne’s Butler, however, when he’s not maintaining the Wayne fortune, he is ‘the guiding light’ (no pun intended) in Bruce Wayne’s Journey (despite the efforts of various opposition). While Rutger Hauer (rest his soul; “BLIND FURY”!!! YES!) had set the tone for what was to come later in young Bruce Wayne’s life (at the funeral for Martha & Thomas Wayne) - it becomes abundantly clear that Bruce Wayne has quite the journey ahead of him in his life (with plenty of whom have pre-developed plans & agendas to seize Wayne Enterprises for their own gain).

Bruce Wayne, born of a Mother & Father, heir to “the throne” (as it were), and thriving billionaire, one day decides to leave it all behind. It’s a moment of internal crisis for our protagonist due to the severely traumatic act of witnessing the death of his own parents (while almost being murdered himself). I know a lot of people think Kal-El (aka ‘Superman’, aka ‘Clark Kent’) is the end-all be-all of Superheroes (myself included), however, after a retrospective look back at Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy it becomes abundantly clear just how much credit this franchise did NOT receive from the critics & the artistic community (Hi, Academy. I’m lookin’ at ya’ll). Despite the worldwide acclaim, I believe this franchise was well ahead of it’s time in terms of the most important aspect of the entire achievement - The Story.

This is a franchise fully-devoted to the story and that is a significant contributor to the success of this version of Batman. I grew up watching old reruns on TV of Adam West & Burt Ward going around and ‘CLEANING-SOME-CLOCKS’ as it were (POW! ZAM! KLAM! CHOWDAH!), and I always hold that version near-and-dear to my heart because I still think the early 1960’s version of Batman was really fun & really awesome & an absolute delight. Plain & simple. ..Granted - as time continued and the characterization of Bruce Wayne (and his alter-ego “Batman”; His Armor; His Protective Shield) had advanced & developed into a new ground (conceptually-speaking). The core values of who Bruce Wayne is, where he comes from, and Why he does [what he does] did not truly become profoundly-realized for me until I’d say when the Animated series (1990’s! DUDE still one of the best Animated Series I’ve ever seen; like ‘a fine wine of cartoons’). “The Mask of The Phantasm” is still one of the best Batman stories I’ve ever seen - Such an incredible origin story for Bruce Wayne - and definitely one of the best animated, full-length features I had ever seen as a kid (Not to discount Tim Burton’s gothic-induced-dream-like version of the knight’s tale).

With Christopher Nolan’s contribution to the overall storyline of Batman - we truly have a Masterpiece Trilogy before us (as audience members). Nolan’s take on Batman is truly like no other (even surpassing efforts that preceded the franchise) in that he actually provides a glimpse into what it would look like if the fantasy actually became a reality. Christopher Nolan achieves that goal (Ten-fold) with this trilogy.

In the first film - what we know about Batman becomes hyper-realized with the emphasis on Bruce Wayne’s life in modern-day America (Gotham City being the quintessential metropolitan All-American city). An America that has succumbed to an overall tone of darkness & hopelessness (with the reality of tangible corruption & streets of truly deadly conditions) which has reached a pinnacle-of-suffering for the good people of Gotham (and perhaps, rippled outward into the rest of the world).

Jim Gordon (played PERFECTLY by Gary Oldman, one of the finest performing actors ever to be on screen), a symbol of Gotham’s defeated Law Enforcement, patrols the streets of Gotham City each night. Jim Gordon is one of the key individuals that Bruce Wayne reaches out towards (in his pre-Knight regalia) in the first stages of ‘Batman Begins’. Jim Gordon was the person who wrapped the coat around (a young) Bruce Wayne’s shoulders after his parents had been needlessly-murdered right before his very eyes. Jim Gordon was the one who kneeled to Bruce’s level, acknowledged his loss, and gave him that moment of kindness & warmth & honest-to-God decency. He acknowledged Bruce’s sorrow & loss with grace. He gave him a moment of simple human decency & kindness for the sake of kindness itself.

Jim Gordon’s kind gesture is merely a moment in time, which made all the difference for a young kid who just needed someone to simply be there for him. A moment that showed Bruce Wayne that Goodness & Human Decency can & does still exist in the world despite a traumatically-life-changing tragedy. Jim Gordon’s simple, nearly effortless act, is a sign that people Do honor good faith (and people who truly deserve it) and the good Do get rewarded.

I really like the character Bruce Wayne. I think he’s a better character than most that I’ve ever seen, especially since he actually has character. It’s a shame that people can not see beyond the surface to find the deeper meaning of this story. Bruce Wayne’s [incredible] journey takes place all over the world. When we find him in ‘..Begins’, he is locked up in the ominous mountains of Bhutan. His home now a desolate wasteland of an existence due to his loss. His tragedy (despite Jim Gordon’s act of kindness) had lead him astray and brought him across the other part of the world (only to discover what it truly means to suffer in poverty & hunger & pain & strife & darkness without any means of comfort). As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that Bruce’s path is the ‘path-of-most-resistance.’ Rather than succumb to a frivolous, meaningless, and hollow existence - Bruce Wayne took the path rarely taken. He chose his own path, to earn his own personal truth, his own story to be lived & known (and eventually discovered by Gotham City).

When Bruce meets an unusual individual by the name of ‘Ducard’ (aka Ra’s al Ghul; aka Liam Neeson; Also played simultaneously by the honorable Ken Watanabe, respectively) in his own ‘personal hell’, Ducard feeds into Bruce’s fall from the path of grace (and his spiritual confusion). Ra’s al Ghul/Ducard is only interested in one thing: controlling Bruce Wayne. As Ra’s al Ghul is the quintessential ‘Handler’, or ‘Hypnotist’ of Bruce Wayne in the training period for Bruce Wayne’s spiritual journey - it becomes evident with each effort from Wayne that Ra’s al Ghul represents The Devil (aka ‘The Prince of Darkness’, ‘Satan’, ‘Lucifer’; The ‘Shadow Side’ of Saturn; See “Yikes!”; See “YOWZA”; See “Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife”; No Disrespect To The Coven; See Not My Lord; See God Protect Me).

From the moment we first-see Ra’s al Ghul - he is shrouded in darkness - lurking in the shadows within each unseen corner of the world - the proverbial serpent of the shadows (so-to-say). In a manner of speaking, Ra’s al Ghul is merely one of many faces throughout the story that showcase the forces of darkness in this particular cinematic legacy (from the depths of darkness, here to possess the living). Ra’s al Ghul attempts to indoctrinate Bruce Wayne (in Bad Faith) in the Bhutanese abyss; a wasteland for the damned (and where the death of hope thrives amidst the stone-prison-walls). Despite Ra’s al Ghul’s efforts - Bruce Wayne not only proves to be the most-prominent under-study of the cult (while being initiated into a secret society; a clandestine fraternity; a subversive order of assassins following an ancient practice (unknown & unseen by the blissful light of day).

Bruce Wayne’s prominence during his training cycle with ‘The League of Shadows’ (an appropriate title) shows us that he surpasses even Ra’s al Ghul’s expectations: showing how the student becomes the teacher (by upholding an authentic approach to having a Personal Moral Code & Justice & Ethical Values). Bruce Wayne is not only faster, stronger, and smarter than Ra’s al Ghul - Bruce Wayne is also wiser. Due to Wayne’s parents (and his friendships) he truly is ‘the shining example’ of true justice that Ra’s al Ghul has yet to achieve in life (due to his obsessive wrath).

Having destroyed the League of Shadows’ initiation grounds & temple of darkness - Bruce Wayne LITERALLY SAVES RA’S AL GHUL’S LIFE. ‘True Colors’ does not even begin to define such a moment for our protagonist (that’s a true sign of Mercy).

Despite Bruce Wayne saving Ra’s al Ghul’s life, afterwards the dude STILL tries to come back and kill Bruce AND Gotham City (Showing how The Devil has No Mercy for Anything, Anyone, or Anywhere and is just flat-out unwilling to acknowledge when something good actually does happen). Granted, at the end of “Batman Begins” we discover how Martha and Thomas Wayne were murdered as a direct result of Ra’s al Ghul & The League of Shadows (and their hatred for all things Gotham City & Western Civilization). It’s a diabolical reveal that the devil holds nothing sacred in the sanctity of human life. The devil will literally kill an angel after having been saved by said angel. In fact, Bruce Wayne’s own personal brush with death is (tragically) a common concern of not only Alfred, but Lucius Fox (played exquisitely by one Morgan Freeman), a former Board-Member & former colleague of Thomas Wayne (prior to his passing).

Bruce shows us that good people typically make a lot of good friends and have good people looking out for one’s best interest (no matter their walk of life). The most awe-inspiring truth of Bruce Wayne/Batman is that his ‘best interest’ is preserving & honoring the good faith of his community and the people in his life (including his ancestors, mind-you, as well as the herculean guidance of one Alfred Pennyworth). Without friends - life goes nowhere - that’s a universal truth. Bruce Wayne nearly died so many times in this trilogy and I don’t think people appreciate that aspect of these movies. This is an individual who literally put his life on the line to save the soul of the city he loves (wanting nothing other than a good, normal, & happy life). I know people only fixate on ‘the How’, but I think ‘the Why’ is the most important element of Bruce Wayne’s fictional example.

Bruce Wayne (as all of us) exists for a reason. His life (albeit fictional) does have an important purpose in the grand scheme of things (as one puts it).

Of course, this reason is emphasized (more & more) by his best friend, Rachel Dawes (among others). It’s a shame that Katie Holmes did not portray Rachel Dawes in both of the first two films, however, I found it to be very impressive [just] how smoothly Maggie Gyllenhaal performed as the character. It’s one of the rare instances in which a character is portrayed by two different performers who both managed to bring an equal amount of dignity & respect to said character. Katie Holmes & Maggie Gyllenhaal should both be applauded for their contributions & performance(s) as the grown-up portrayal of Rachel Dawes.

Rachel Dawes is the positive-female-influence in Bruce Wayne’s life (complimentary to that of Alfred Pennyworth’s positive-male-influence; or non-gender-specific-neutral-influence? Sure, why not) that is necessary to develop his respect & honor towards women (which is a necessary element of chivalry). Chivalry is not dead in America: The examples set before us can be found within our own real-life society (I shall go into that more later..).

More important than Rachel Dawes’ positive influence on Bruce Wayne is her genuine friendship (since their childhood). Rachel is not interested in taking advantage of Bruce or using him for her own personal gain. Rachel Dawes genuinely cares about Bruce Wayne and how well the quality of his life (as well as the life of the community) have grown. Rachel Dawes shows Bruce what is occurring in the streets of Gotham on a daily basis. Rachel is living, breathing, working, and seeing what has become of Gotham City - a limping giant of a once-prominent-city (Modern-Day America in a nutshell). Rachel Dawes reminds Bruce Wayne of the importance of Good People Taking Ownership of One’s Community. She reminds him that life is not only about one’s own personal pain, but alas, the collective pain of which a community must endure & resolve (as a said community) with good faith; “It’s not about who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.”

In the second act of Nolan’s Cinematic Epic, “The Dark Knight” - Bruce Wayne encounters the tangible result of Newton’s Third Law: for every action there is an equal (or greater) reaction; hence ‘The Joker’ (played enormously by the late Heath Ledger; Rest in Peace).

The Joker is the response to Bruce Wayne’s actions in the first act, and in every way, he is Bruce Wayne’s exact opposite (albeit opposites, their life paths are balancing on the same proverbial axis of existence). Bruce Wayne is a reflection of light while The Joker is a product of darkness (Negative Energy, Pessimism, Hate, Evil, Unhappiness, Pain, Suffering, Misery, Torment, Violence, & Trauma). While Batman is the answer to corrupt forces in Gotham City - The Joker is the reaction to The Bat-Man.

The Joker is the continuation of opposing forces attempting to infiltrate Bruce Wayne’s life & community (as would a specter in the shadows, a spider in the darkest reaches of lunacy; a.k.a. the absence of faith, the inversion of angels; i.e. Demons, Demonic Entities, Dark Deities, etc). The Joker represents everything evil in society - everything sick, everything sad, everything hurt. To The Joker (and the fools before him) - society is an infestation, a plague, a result of toxicity & corruption (especially the light of which darkness cannot fathom). Batman is the antithesis to Joker’s Chaos. Batman is the collective honor & balance of civility & justice & good faith quantified into one symbolic rogue.

Heath Ledger’s performance of Joker was nothing short of awe-inspiring artistry & workmanship (WorkPERSONship?). His passing was a needless tragedy and although his performance garnered him numerous accolades - I wish he did not have to die in order to attain it (It should have been him accepting the award - it should have been him). Without a doubt, an equal to Joaquin Phoenix’s performance (if not Superior) - I still acknowledge Heath Ledger’s ground-breaking performance as a perfect triumph of Acting (although I think the character is absolutely distorted on all accounts; despite Joker’s persuasive wit).

Many people like to compare Joaquin Phoenix & Heath Ledger’s performance(s) as The Joker (folks compare everything in life), and I think both performances stand strongly on equal ground. Total Perfection. No doubt about it - and one kinda goes with the other if you were to align the vision side-by-side. Of course I love me some Jack Nicholson in Tim Burton’s “Batman” - I think he gave an undeniably frightening & charismatic performance just as Ledger & Phoenix (proof of the character’s universal & artistic appeal). Although Heath Ledger’s performance shall always be praised as a definitive milestone in Acting on Film - I still think the character is a twisted f**k (pardon my American).

Not only does Joker attempt to destroy Bruce Wayne’s personal Faith, but also everyone he cares about in his life, and everyone in the entire city of Gotham, USA. The pitiful tragedy of Joker’s existence is the sad truth that he lacks good faith in not only himself, but the people of Gotham, and the one individual who is genuinely trying to make a good difference in the world: Bruce Wayne.

It is a tragedy & a disgrace to humankind that Rachel Dawes & Harvey Dent (played by the Always-Excellent Aaron Eckhart) died in vain (as Thomas & Martha before them). It’s a sin that the Joker did what he did to everyone in Gotham City. It’s unGodly that so many human beings had to lose their lives, needlessly, just because of one individual’s own loss of innocence, and more specific, his loss of personal faith in his life (and in the world, of which, we live). The reason why Joker is dangerous is because he is the quintessential ‘mass shooter.’ He is the terrorist. He is the result of a society that has forgotten him. He is the reason why so many people struggle & suffer in contemporary society - not because he caused it, but because he fed into it - preying on the life force of humanity & destroying the efforts of truly good people who kept striving to save the soul of humanity (within the framework of a struggling eco-system).

If Bruce Wayne did not have friends he would have been dead in the first act of the story - that is a fact. When Dr. Jonathan (Not ‘Frasier’) Crane (aka ‘The Scarecrow’) had attacked Batman (in ‘Begins’) with the weaponized hallucinogens, Bruce Wayne was almost killed. If it was not for Alfred Pennyworth & Lucius Fox, Bruce would have been dead in the streets of Gotham. The consistent importance of Friendship is quite evident when thinking of Bruce Wayne’s network of acquaintances (both in ‘high’ & ‘low’ places) in the city of Gotham. This also applies in the opposite, with Bruce becoming an important (and powerful) friend to certain individuals of Gotham City (in return).

Friendship is a universal quality of humanity that should be cherished & honored. Friendship, like everything, requires effort. Bruce Wayne’s life requires effort even though he is a “billionaire playboy” - he still has struggles just like anyone else, and he shares the struggle with his friends (since they became a sort of surrogate family; more like extended-family; legal & spiritual guardians). Bruce Wayne is a fictional example that no one is free from life’s struggle and life’s personal challenges & lessons (no matter the ‘advantages’ or ‘upbringing’). It’s a sign of brilliance on behalf of the conceptual team behind the vision of The Dark Knight Trilogy. I know a lot of people focus on the action sequences and the drama of the theatrical dance of Light & Dark play out on screen in the form of the Batman & the Joker, but beneath the surface is a sincere sociological & political commentary (and spiritual message).

The Light & The Dark (i.e. Positive & Negative, God & Lucifer, Heaven & Hell, Angels & Demons, the Good & the Bad vibes, The Upward Infinity & The Downward Spiral, etc, etc, etc): it is at the fundamental core of our collective balance of existence; Life as we know it to be. It is my humble understanding that the eternal balance is a necessary process, it requires effort on both sides. Both Light & Dark must cooperate to preserve the equinox-of-existence (just one person’s opinion based off of observation & objective analysis, take it or leave it).

The death of Bruce Wayne’s best friend, Rachel Dawes, was not only a tragedy in Bruce’s life, it was a tragedy for innocence. She was so angelic & kind & giving & honorable & brave - her Faith is what helped Bruce remember his childhood innocence (before he was robbed of said innocence), and her last words (which were concealed from Bruce due to desperate-times-call-for-desperate-measures; see Alfred Pennyworth), she continued to spread the message of Good Faith in Humanity despite the fact that she was needlessly murdered. A defining attribute of Rachel Dawes’ character is one-in-the-same as Martha and Thomas Wayne - the Belief & Faith in Humanity despite the monumental heartache & loss (and yes, trauma & death).

If one recalls the time in the first act when Alfred was bringing Bruce Wayne back from the mountains of Bhutan - Alfred briefly mentions how Bruce Wayne’s ancestors’ tireless efforts to keep their community alive (even at the worst of times) nearly made them bankrupt. It was their tireless dedication (their faith) that paved the way to set a foundation for future generations to prosper (while honoring the efforts of said ancestors). Although their example did not improve Gotham’s economic prosperity overnight, the murder of Martha & Thomas Wayne set the wealthy of Gotham into action (as the story goes).

Bruce Wayne comes from a long lineage of helpers. Helpful People who are Good. People who want to see the best results out of humanity’s efforts (as a whole). People who believe in the power of the individual, and the social end-result of one individual’s tireless faith (and life choices).

Although Bruce Wayne’s ancestors are not the focal point of Batman, they are his bloodline & family’s history which in it’s own right deserves to be honored & respected (I know this is a fictional character, but roll with me here, people HahaHA).

Yes, “The Dark Knight” consists of nothing short of complete Mayhem, and YES, The Joker may make ya pee a little bit (just a little), and maybe even laugh (the writing is pretty damn genius in my humble opinion). I acknowledge that “The Dark Knight” should have been nominated for Best Picture (Double that for “The Dark Knight Rises”), and I acknowledge that Christian Bale should have been nominated for Best Actor his final performance as Bruce Wayne/Batman (I think he was snubbed, but hey I’m not in the Academy, so what do I know, right? HahaHA).

Speaking of “The Dark Knight Rises”, I still believe it’s the best Batman movie of all time. I understand (and have heard) many folks say “The Dark Knight” was a better movie, however, I believe (on the contrary) that not only is the third act of Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece a testament of cinematic storytelling - it is a testament to just how AWESOME we are when we perform at our best. When we work together, we are at our best (as a country, and as a people).

“The Dark Knight Rises”, at it’s core, is a cyclical nod to everything that was established in the first act of the trilogy (a perfect Full Circle), and of course, is the conclusion of Batman. Every lesson in Bruce Wayne’s life, every struggle, every enemy, every friend - every aspect of Bruce Wayne’s life is interwoven with Gotham City (and the people of Gotham) as he & his friends defend Gotham City (and everyone in it). In “The Dark Knight Rises”, Bruce Wayne has become a Hermit; locked away, half man, half mythos, in an air of mystery & fascination (among the ones who still speak of the elusive figure; a fading memory of a silent guardian). And as a hermit, Bruce has become deeply reclusive due to the Joker’s killing spree in Gotham City nearly a decade prior (while exploiting the sick minds & lost souls who stand for nothing [and truly fall for anything]).

While an average person would possibly accept Bruce Wayne’s physically-defeated, emotionally-scarred, and spiritually-damaged condition - Alfred Pennyworth (God Bless ‘em) does what any individual of Good Faith would do - he encourages Bruce. He sees Bruce as a human being, not as a symbol. He cares about Bruce Wayne’s life, his well-being, his overall fulfillment, and Bruce’s personal happiness. He chose to honor the pact he made with Thomas Wayne to protect the family fortune (most importantly, Bruce). Alfred Pennyworth has his own fascinating & rich history from his own backstory (having been a soldier in his younger years). Fact of the matter is, Alfred never stopped being a soldier at heart. He is True Blue; a true man of the cause; a true Englishman, a true American, and overall a true HUMAN BEING. He is a True Believer of preserving all that is sacred & righteous in our world. He is a Saint and he is a blessing (in contrast to Ra’s al Ghul’s curse-like presence; working in Bad Faith; a destructive force; almost the polar opposite of Alfred).

One thing I love about the final film in Nolan’s titanic, artistic, commercial, & cinematic effort is just how well the Production had managed to pull off the third act (having so many characters and SO much exposition) especially considering the factors that most wouldn’t even consider (i.e. Budget, Lights, Sound, Wardrobe, Set Design, making sure everyone’s hitting their marks, making sure all the stunt-work is safe, making sure it’s all coordinated to the “T” - the amount of brain-storming, conceptualization, the marketing, the pre-production, the principal photography, the post-production, etc etc etc). Movies that require so much of the cast & crew do not always work well, but Warner Bros. & Nolan’s Team somehow managed to actually pull it off. They did what no one else could do - they made Batman real. Christian Bale made Bruce Wayne real. He made Bruce Wayne truly Human (even if just for a moment).

In this day & age (with everything that just happened very recently in our very own United States of America) - one could find a jaw-dropping parallel to what happened when ‘Bane’ came to Gotham City (played ferociously by the envelope-pushing Tom Hardy; see “Bronson”, so gnarly) to what had happened to our own U.S. Capitol.

Bane is the darkness (cloaked with brute force) that feeds off of the fear of humanity. Bane is a product of The League of Shadows (with Hardy’s vocal performance being a nod to UK & Ireland Bare-Knuckle-Boxing Champion, Bartley “King of The Gypsies” Gorman), and was actually ex-communicated from the league (so the story goes) by Ra’s al Ghul (himself). Word around the campfire is that Bane is a force of nature (more destructive than known before) and will stop at nothing to ‘fulfill the destiny of Ra’s al Ghul.’ Bane is a result of fringe-Cult-Mind-Control-Indoctrination (a life devoid of pure faith & free-will entirely; typically due to some possible form of sincere trauma and/or loss and governing authority; aka The Darkness).

The legend of Bane is more rumor than fact. He is just as elusive as Batman, and just as evil as Joker (if not more). Bane’s physicality brings Bruce Wayne to his knees in the third act of Nolan’s 3-piece work-of-art, while also providing all of the intellectually-driven rationale (totally psychotic) behind his Madness & Apocalyptic ambitions. Bane is a real-life-threat to Bruce Wayne & Gotham City (and The American Way). Bane represents the overall threat to our way of life (as a humanity). Bane is everything wrong with world leaders & corrupt forces (cultivated into the most toxic physical form); like a deranged & disfigured Churchill who lumbers about (as a lion in a den) in the underground infrastructure of Gotham City’s sewage system (almost as a warped, drug-induced, Shakespearean Emperor). Bane is a deadly force of nature, fueled entirely by the sickness of bad faith; coerced into his own psychosis by probably the most complex & frightening character of the entire series - Talia al Ghul (a.k.a. ‘Miranda Tate’, played unnervingly-well by one Marion Cotillard [the child played by Joey King, respectively]; her performance sends chills up the spine upon numerous viewings).

While introducing Batman & Gotham’s new enemies, some of Bruce’s new friends in the final (and most epic) installment of Christopher Nolan’s Batman storyline are Officer [Robin] John Blake (played exceptionally by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and a Wild-Card-Femme-Fatale character by the name of Selina Kyle (a.k.a. ‘Catwoman’, performed very well by Anne Hathaway). Joseph Gordon-Levitt shines as young Patrol Officer Blake - also having been an orphan, like Bruce Wayne, and a true believer in the purpose of Bruce Wayne (Batman) in Gotham City. Unlike Bruce, however, Robin is not a billionaire & Robin was not born into a life of privilege. Despite his brief backstory, Robin Blake, like Bruce Wayne, has Faith in Humanity. It’s why he puts on the uniform (speculative subtext). He does not have the luxury to become Batman, so just as Jim Gordon does - He works with what is given to him. He applies himself within the structure already established within Gotham (despite the restrictions & limitations of said structures of society). He, like ‘Serpico’ before him (see Al Pacino) is a regular Cop who just wants to do what the Law is supposed to do: To Protect & To Serve the good people of Gotham City.

Selina Kyle, on the other hand, is on a path between The Light & The Dark (on a sort of ‘spiritual tight-rope’ between the two paths). Selina’s life path is one of constant survival and constant running. As a ‘Cat Burglar’, Selina Kyle is a flat-out Crook. Her tough exterior conceals what truly is underneath her mask - a person who, too, has faith in humanity (proof that the ones who wander are not lost). Unfortunately for Bruce Wayne, as previously-mentioned, ‘Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures’ - and Selina Kyle’s desperation put Bruce directly into the hands of Bane & The League of Shadows (at a truly disturbing moment in the film). While forces of The League of Shadows’ (combined with a few of Wayne Enterprises’ own ‘bad seeds’, i.e. Daggett, Stryver, etc) disseminate chaos throughout the plot of “The Dark Knight Rises” (by destroying the city of Gotham and exiling Bruce Wayne across the world into a pit of hell) - all of the friends Bruce Wayne has made start to band together to organize a resistance with the surviving members of local (and once-established) authorities. The honor, the people, the community of Gotham City, and the overall driving spirit - the collective faith of the city (as a whole) had been damn-near destroyed entirely in this film. The resistance was born from those of whom are still faithful to their city and the rights of every individual who resides within.

Between the clandestine operations of Robin & his fellow law enforcement officers (all trapped underneath Gotham due to The League’s devastating terrorist attack), the United States Federal Government (and necessary agencies) & Wayne Enterprises (with ‘Miranda Tate’, Lucius Fox, etc), and the awe-inspiring action-sequences in this grand finale - there is no denial that the final installment of The Dark Knight Trilogy is the most realistic & visceral revolutionary epic set in modern-day America. It’s funny when one stops to think that this was all originally based off of a comic book character published by Detective Comics in the late 1930’s. It’s astonishing to think of just how far this fantasy story has evolved throughout the years.

Bruce Wayne is more than a comic book character. Bruce Wayne is a symbol of humanity. That is his ‘superpower’ - his Humanity. He is more than just a person fighting crime to honor his family’s faith & heritage - he is honoring the faith of humanity as it stands today. After all of the corruption & loss & trauma - Bruce Wayne never lost faith in what we have in life (even after losing so many loved ones and frequently having his own life in harm’s way). As he strives to defeat the darkness of Gotham (by striking fear into the hearts of those who prey upon the fearful), the force of darkness continues to rise to attempt to destroy & defeat The Light (Futility at it’s finest).

The greatest villain of all, Batman’s most incredible threat throughout the entire trilogy is actually Talia Al Ghul (Ra’s al Ghul’s daughter & heir to The League of Shadows; the true leader of the cult). She is the one who almost destroys Gotham City (if it wasn’t for Bruce Wayne and everyone who stepped up to do what was right to defend the city).

Although Talia does not fight Batman physically - she is the only villain who ever slept with Batman & exploited him with complete intimacy (seducing Bruce Wayne in a seemingly romantic moment in the film). Talia (still known as “Miranda” by this point in the story), appears innocent & sweet upon first glance, however with multiple viewings of the film, one begins to understand the disturbing nature of what Miranda/Talia is and is Not saying in Bruce Wayne’s presence (a brief glimmer of her spiritual void). Talia al Ghul truly is Ra’s al Ghul’s daughter and her light has been completely stamped out by the fact that she, not Bane, was the one who came out from the pit of hell (as it is revealed in the climax of this epic conclusion). The Devil lurks in many forms - in this particular case, Talia al Ghul displays the darkness as it exists in feminine form. Marion Cotillard was the most over-looked performance of the series (in my personal opinion) and I think as much as Tom Hardy does not get enough credit for his, at times, somewhat Macbethian performance (albeit not as flamboyant as Joker, but even more deadly) - I believe Talia al Ghul is the greatest threat to Gotham City in this trilogy (sorry, fellas).

While magnifying the character of Talia al Ghul, one must acknowledge her natural ability to be a ‘Wolf-in-Sheep’s-Clothing.’ She is the deadliest threat to Humanity due to her belief in a necessary demise of Gotham (seeing Gotham City as a hotbed of hypocrisy & imperialism). Talia al Ghul has no problem burning the barrel over a few bad apples (if that makes sense). While Talia is the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, she was also simultaneously dictating every strategy for The League of Shadows behind closed doors. She is the ‘Queen’, ‘The Head of The Serpent’, The Leader of ‘The Hive.’ She is the quintessential ‘Wicked Witch’, The ‘Bad Girl’, the ‘Goddess’, Kali, Baphomet, etc etc etc). She is an individual, born into a pit of darkness, and exposed to a potentially-life-shattering amount of trauma (based off of the staggering display of complete psychosis; albeit tremendously stealthy & downplayed under her facade of congeniality).

Talia al Ghul is the mastermind who inherited the crown from Ra’s al Ghul’s ‘throne’ (if that makes sense). She is a product of trauma, suffering, & loneliness, but more importantly, a severely sick individual who needs some serious mental & emotional help (more than Joker & Harley Quinn combined) and is the deadliest foe of all (due to her intellect & internalized rage & female fury & her knowledge of all things Gotham & Bruce Wayne/Batman). Talia al Ghul, like Batman, is a force of nature; especially due to her complete cutthroat tactics and inversion of personal Faith in Humanity. Talia al Ghul initially comes across as a meek & angelic person, responsible for the credibility & success of Wayne Enterprises. Her entire life, however, has been dedicated towards the infiltration of Gotham City, USA, and she is the only character in the film who is truly superior to Bruce Wayne in terms of sheer will-power (He caught up to her in the end though). What saves Bruce Wayne is his network of friends (Alfred, Jim Gordon, Lucius, Robin, Selina, etc), in addition to his mind, body, & spirit (once they attain alignment).

I don’t know what others have said, but I think Robin & Catwoman were actually done brilliantly in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Robin was a pleasant surprise for me as a viewer (truth be told; although I thought Ryan Gosling (GOS!) would have made an amazing Robin in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’; much respect for Joseph Gordon-Levitt), and Selina Kyle/Catwoman is fascinating due to her being the wild card of the last film (that truly helped level the playing-field; Girl-Power).

Catwoman, unlike Batman & Robin, is a big question mark throughout the majority of the last film. Her presence is just as elusive & threatening as Talia’s, however, Catwoman (unlike Talia al Ghul), underneath it all, is a Good Person trapped in a bad situation. That is a common thread in this storyline - Good people being in bad places (i.e. Jim Gordon, Lucius Fox, Rachel Dawes, Harvey Dent, etc). On the flip side of the coin - there are plenty of bad folks in good places amidst Gotham’s corrupt forces (i.e. Dr. Crane/Scarecrow, Carmine Falcone, Judge Faden, Detective Ramirez, Detective Wuertz, etc). It’s a reality known all too well in our modern society.

When one observes the overall arc of Bruce Wayne’s transformational life experiences in Nolan’s Comic Book Epic - I have to reiterate the notion of duality consistently interwoven within each one of these films. Light & Dark - Good & Evil - Positive & Negative - the eternal dance - it is the driving force of this franchise (as Bruce is the quintessential “Light Worker” - not that I’m soliciting ‘New Age’ [or ‘Old Age’ for that matter] ideologies, just a matter-of-saying). Bruce Wayne symbolizes The Light of God found in human form (at the very core and most-primary form of what Natives call, “The Great Spirit”, respectively), of which must seize the day to tame the night. Bruce is the epitome of a Capricorn/Aquarius cusp (Western Astrology/Zodiac) - in full force - bringing the water to those who are thirsty, bringing food to those who are starving, and healing the suffering of a people by means of very serious mental, physical, and Yes, Spiritual Work & Seriously Visionary Goals. Bruce Wayne is the Light while Bane is the Darkness of Humanity (the brute force, the inversion of light); the absence of faith. Although he does indeed have an inherent belief within his bones (and muscles reminiscent of mountains), Bane is still dependent on man-made ideologies & approaches (entirely based in the material world). The League of Shadows are attempting to summon the fires from hell in order to bring the dark prince into Heaven to seize the light (again, futility) to fulfill the devil’s ultimate lie (talk about a God-Complex..Oh me, Oh my) of Superiority (‘Can’t we all just get along?’).

When examining Talia al Ghul’s presence as a double-agent mastermind - her reveal is one of the most important plot twists of the series. Talia being a hidden “mole” within the resistance of Gotham City during The League of Shadows’ Hostile Takeover sets off Martial Law in Gotham - which sparks an uprising in the city that eventually saves Gotham (due to the efforts of a network of people who utilized adaptability & effective methods of coordination & action). Bane is to Batman as Talia is to Catwoman (just as Harvey is to Rachel; Duality; Gemini, Twins). What’s so incredible about Selina Kyle is her purpose in the story as a symbol that people CAN & DO redeem themselves despite having a checkered past (something a good amount of folks have in this day-and-age, myself included). Although the clandestine efforts of Gotham’s resistance had been futile due to the fact that Talia al Ghul was hiding in plain sight (a stroke of genius on the writing), Selina Kyle was the defining individual that tipped the scale in favor for Gotham City (and more importantly, Humanity as a Whole). She had an opportunity to leave Gotham and have a clean slate, but she had a personal moment-of-crisis... That’s because she has a soul, and in her soul, she knows, by faith & intuition, that humanity needed her help (one could speculate). She went back & risked her life (God bless her), which was a full circle nod, of which, echoed the sentiment originally planted within the first film: The moment when Rachel Dawes asked a younger Bruce Wayne, “..What chance does Gotham have if the good people do nothing?” (Edmund Burke; ‘Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents’ [1770], regarding the nepotism of a monarchy).

Talia al Ghul is a highly-complex character (next to Bruce Wayne) in the series due to the potential life she may have lead as an orphan born in the pit of hell (shot in the jaw-dropping landscape of Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India). She is also the most tragic due to the fact that she literally has an opportunity to leave her life of pain & suffering behind to be with Bruce Wayne, but succumbs to the ‘Shadow Side.’ ...You know something is ‘rotten in the state of Denmark’ when she would rather destroy the world than have a ‘happily ever after’ with Bruce Wayne. Her spirit fell back into the proverbial pit of despair & darkness (without ‘The Light’) that she had escaped from (in a metaphoric sense). Bane, like Scarecrow before him, is merely a pawn in the worldwide game of Chess (‘all the world is a stage...’). The tragedy of Talia is that she is someone who was born into darkness and literally had to pay for the sins of her father (as her mother did, tragically).

Talia al Ghul is the most heart-breaking villain of the trilogy simply due to her life being a complete tragedy. One begins to ponder if she had a romantic evening with Bruce Wayne simply because she had felt the cold winter of loneliness for too long, or if she desperately (just for a moment) wanted to be one with God’s Light & a person’s gentle embrace (although I don’t know I might be wrong - she was probably like “Hey, it’s either Scary-Ass Bane or six-pack abs Bruce Wayne. HMMM. Let’s tip the scale on that one - HAhaHa, I digress). Regardless of reasoning - Talia al Ghul’s complexity is probably no match for the intense unhappiness she carries with her. It’s no surprise due to the fact that her mother’s absolutely unGodly demise (so sad) was the catalyst that sparked her mission from Hell (with her hound-of-hell on a leash, aka Bane). As much as I may condemn Talia al Ghul & Bane - I want to reason with them. I want to listen to them and I want to let them know that America is not a bad place, and we are not a bad people. I want to find a common ground, and extend the olive branch (as the saying goes) in order to help heal their pain & misconceptions of Americans and Humanity (as a whole), without having to give my (or anyone else’s) life in the process.

I have a belief that if Talia al Ghul was given a fair & ample opportunity to have a better life in America - she would have taken it (if she had not been so deeply-programmed with hate). I have the understanding & more concrete belief that it is due to her life-long journey of trauma-based-indoctrination as the main culprit as to why she simply won’t cease & desist from committing further acts of wrath upon Humanity. Talia al Ghul could have put just as much effort into the healing as the killing (but she fell back into that spiritual pit). I know why she hates. She hates because she weeps, deep down inside in her soul at night (when no one is around), for her trauma & her unbearable internal pain. She hates because she is repeating the pattern of trauma that may or may not have been applied to her mind, body, and worst of all - her soul. She hates because she had hatred put into her (since being a small, innocent child) and she put that hatred out into the world (a severe lack of comfort, love, care, family, and yes - Faith). Although symbols of lightness, darkness, duality, and representations of sins & faith are all spread across this monumental achievement in film (without having to shove a Cross in someone’s face) - at the very core of this film is, again, the importance of faith in humanity despite our individual & collective tragedies (and shared injustice). The importance of striving, no matter the odds, no matter the pain, no matter how dark the night.

I believe the BEST moment in the entire story was the moment Bruce Wayne climbed out of the pit to save his people. He could have easily died a painful & shameful death in that ancient prison (while watching his city & country being destroyed by an insane fringe cult; a militia of madness; a false liberation). A lot of people seem to overlook just how incredible & truly powerful that moment is in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Tom Conti (a perfect performance of an apathetic mentor-like figure; complimented brilliantly by one Uri Gavriel as the exiled Medical Doctor of a Monarch) & Christian Bale’s overall dynamic in the entire pit sequence was a masterful stroke of storytelling (tying back to the first film, putting Bruce Wayne back where he first began). It’s fascinating to find Bruce Wayne, with a severely-injured body, having to rebuild himself and strengthening his spirit to rise out of the pit of despair - the pit of personal hell, the unforgiving pit of Time (Capricorn; Saturn; Kronos; “The Task-Master”, “The Reaper”; Reward or Punishment; Karma; The Lord of The Rings). The moment of truth comes when Bruce Wayne discovers (through numerous attempts) that it is his spirit that must rise to seize the light - without vanity, without any fancy gadgets, technology, tricks up his sleeve, or any clever contraption (or vehicle) to assist him in the process. This was a moment for Bruce Wayne and Bruce Wayne alone. This is what we call our moment to “Shine” as an individual being... our independent spirit. Bruce Wayne had to learn what it meant to climb out of the pit of hell and abandon his fear (as the child in the legend had done; Talia al Ghul).

The pit can represent many things to many different people. The eye of the beholder truly does apply to this (as well as any) story. For the individual to think & feel for one’s self - and to also believe in one’s self. The pit can be a literal prison - or it could be a wealthy kingdom. I know (from personal experience) the feeling of being at the pit of one’s own existence. I know what it means to be a prisoner trapped in one’s own body (due to unwanted pain & suffering & hidden trauma). I’ve learned the plight of humanity and the experience of suffering in the night (I’m just like everybody else). I have been there. I have known the darkness. I have known what it means to “dance with the devil under the pale moonlight” (as the expression goes). I’ve known what it means to defend the innocent from evil, thrusting myself into danger to save family members from toxic masculinity & extreme violence (since being a little boy). I have known the darkness, which is why I kept searching for my own personal truths & answers (which ended the day I had a near-death experience & literally saw The Light of God; 100% Serious). I have known all of these things, but I also know that the people who put that hurt into me had that same hurt (if not worse) put into them... That’s the paradox of trauma. The original source goes so far back it’s pointless to trace - which is why I look FORWARD in Life. I no longer dwell in the weight of one’s misery & spiritual darkness - I seize the light by choosing a good life (to fulfill my own purpose).

At the risk of my own humiliation & embarrassment (and at the delight of those of whom feel actual glee out of my personal struggles & suffering; God knows who you are), I can acknowledge that I am someone who has lived “in the darkness” before. I have known what it means to suffer and toil without the light of God in my life. I have abandoned my own belief in God before, and my own personal Faith before... it’s not something I am particularly proud of, and although I have survived various life experiences that made me plunge into the pessimistic side of life (having been mentally, physically, and yes - Sexually-Abused in my early childhood) - I reach out (in spirit) to anyone who may be reading my words, who has possibly fallen from the good grace of God (especially due to what has happened in our country). I, too, know what it is to lose faith in God & The True Light (as opposed to the Man-Made light). I know what it’s like to suffer & hate “The Believers” (my trauma came from a so-called “believer”).

You know, stories are more powerful than one may ever think (as well as Family, Friendship, Fun, and Faith). I have lived in my own personal hell before - I have ‘had it all’ and then lost EVERYTHING the following year. I have rebuilt my life SO many times (too many damn times), and I’ve learned one ultimate truth that I MUST share with everyone who is (and will be) alive to read these words...

..There IS A GOD. THERE IS A LIGHT. It may not be visible because we cannot see what lies beyond the veil of existence, but I assure you - Everyone is Alive for a REASON (and Individual Purpose). Women may have the divine gift of giving Life (RESPECT!), but we ALL have the gift of giving LIGHT (each in our own unique way). We all have a way to help heal and put something good into the world, despite our shared pain & trauma, as a people. We all deserve to be happy and have a decent opportunity for a healthy & happy existence (ESPECIALLY with our modern-day world; unless if folks start committing crimes and harming others and whatnot). I believe we are all at our best when we cooperate & coexist with one another (despite our individual differences). The Light does not need to shine out The Darkness just as The Darkness shall never overthrow The Light. We can live in a spiritual Harmony. We do not have to walk the same path. We do not have to share the same spiritual beliefs. I just think we CAN share this world (as I believe we are truly alive in what is known as the Garden of Eden).

We do not have to destroy ourselves to prosper. We can live among one another (with dignity & respect & honor). I’m not always happy to see that people willingly practice certain principles & “values”, but who am I to judge? That’s why God is here... It’s a tough lesson to accept, but it’s true. I should not judge someone just because they worship darkness - because at the end of the day that’s between them and their purpose in life - not mine. I have walked the line, but I never learned from others shouting in my face - I learned from listening & civility & patience & yes - Faith. That’s the purpose of the light - not to drown out the dark, but to work together (as Santa Clause & Krampus do), as a balance of necessary elements that will always be present in our own reality. We, as a contemporary society, have lost touch with the natural way of the world (well, a good amount of folks anyhow). We, as a humanity, have become so vain that we do not even know which way is Up & Down anymore - which way is truly Left & Right. We, as the soul of humanity, have suffered in the darkness for far too long (due to those who wish to control our individual light). We, as a country, MUST help one another climb out of our collective pit of despair - our sociological prison (cultivated through the last aeon), our ‘darkness.’ It has happened before and it can happen again - and to all of my fellow beings of whom shall always carry within us, The Light of Goodness, the love of God, and the wisdom of The Light - I say to thee: RISE.

I give Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy a PERFECT 10 out of 10! The most inspiring superhero franchise of all time (in my opinion). Bruce Wayne & Gotham City show us that Chivalry is NOT dead in The United States of America (despite our challenges). Christopher Nolan’s Cinematic Achievement is victorious in it’s final conclusion: Gotham City IS worth Saving, as our very own Humanity - and Yes - We can all have a better way of life without having to sacrifice our own lives in the process. We can rise to fulfill our individual & collective destiny (as decent human beings) and have, not the life we need, but the one we DESERVE.

*This is dedicated in loving memory to everyone who has lived & died in service of The Light..✝️

“I see a beautiful city... and a brilliant people, rising from this abyss... I see the lives, for which I lay down my life: peaceful, useful, prosperous, and happy... I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendents (generations hence)... It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known...”

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purpledinosaur1988 · 4 years ago

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Ever been in one of those situations where you put your trust in the wrong person. Yeah me to. I used to be "friends" with this female who turned out to be TOXIC! She caused so many problems in my life to a point where she would use me to lie for her, watch her brat of a child. When I met my husband back in 2014, the toxic female would try her best to break me and him up. It was early days in our relationship and she would always expect me to drop everything including date night plans to help her out of sticky situations. After seeing the effects of how miserable I was being made to feel, my husband eventually got me to walk away from the toxic female and finally be happy. I felt so much better without being associated with her. We never spoke again, would avoid each other in public etc. Fast for to a few months ago, I was waiting on a bus to work, she approached me trying to use my child as a pawn to win back "friendship" by telling me that my son's nan had passed away, saying I was to unblock her as she missed me. Obviously I didn't unblock her from my socials and the next time I saw my son I asked his uncle how his mum (my son's nan) was and that I hadn't seen her in awhile, he answered saying she is still struggling with the whole pandemic but is much better than before. That cleared that up. The toxic female told me a malicious lie. I mean has she no better things to be getting on with than trying to get me to fall for her BS 🐂💩 again.

My life has improved massively over the years I have been with my husband, we met in 2014, engaged in 2015 & married in 2016. I don't have a big circle of friends and I am okay with that as I would rather surround myself with those who are positive influences to me. Those friends hold a special place in my heart ♥️ I have my 2 best friends who I have been friends with since high school so they are more like Sisters to me.

If anyone feels there are red flags in your life with certain people. Please don't ignore them as you deserve to be happy.

Signs to look out for

1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you’re in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don’t seem to care when you leave their side—they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

2. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After first hooking you with praise and flattery, they suddenly become reclusive and uninterested. They make you feel desperate & needy, ensuring that you are always the one to initiate contact or physical intimacy.

3. Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence.

4. Quickly declares you their soul mate. And for some reason, you don’t find it creepy. They tell you how much they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can’t believe how perfect you are for them.

5. Compares you to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.

6. Lies and excuses. There is always an excuse for everything, even things that don’t require excusing. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They will always blame others—it is never their fault. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it.

7. No startle response. Total absence of anxiety, fear, and worry where there otherwise should be. They are also very easily bored by the familiar. You write this off as calm and cool, often feeling inferior and over-sensitive because you have normal human emotions.

8. Insults you with a condescending, joking sort of attitude. Smirks when you try to express yourself. Teasing becomes the primary mode of communication in your relationship. They subtly belittle your intelligence and achievements. If you point this out, they call you hypersensitive and crazy.

9. Uses social networking to provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once focused all of their attention on you, but now they post ambiguous videos and statuses to make you doubt your place in their heart. They bait previously denounced exes with old songs and inside jokes. They attend to new activity and ignores yours.

10. You find yourself playing detective. It is never happened in any other relationship, but suddenly you are scrolling back years on their Facebook page and albums. Same with their ex. You are seeking answers to a feeling you cannot quite explain.

11. Surrounds themselves with former lovers and potential mates. Brags that their exes still want to sleep with him/her, but assures you there is nothing to worry about. These people make you feel jealous and give off the perception that your partner is in high-demand.

12. Hyperbolizes emotions while displaying none of them. They make passionate statements like “I have never felt so happy in my life” in a completely robotic voice. It sounds like an alien trying to explain how they imagine human emotions might feel.

13. You are the only one who sees their true colors. Others will think they’re the nicest person in the world, even though they are used for money, resources, and attention. They will not care because he/she strategically distracts them with shallow praise (often done over social networking). Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than their relationships.

14. Accuses you of emotions that they are intentionally provoking. They will call you jealous after blatantly flirting with their ex over social networking for the world to see. They will call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for three days straight.

15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else’s for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.

16. You are engaged in constant conversations about their ex. You know them by name, and you know everything about their relationship—at least, your partner’s version of events. The ex becomes one of the most frequent topics of discussion in your relationship.

17. You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Normal people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty and kindness. No adult should need to be told how they are making other people feel.

18. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own. If they’re two hours late, do not forget that you were once five minutes late to your first date. If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you.

19. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them.

20. The ultimate hypocrite. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you. They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect.

21. Sometimes it seems as though they’ve forgotten who they’re supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences. It is always very eerie when they slip and accidentally use the wrong mask for you. You will start to feel that their personality just does not seem to add up.

22. An unusual amount of “crazy” people in their past. Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target.

23. Flatters your deepest insecurities. If you are self-conscious about your looks, they will call you the sexiest person in the world. If you have got a need to entertain, they will say you’re the funniest person they have ever known. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.

24. Frequently comments about what you are wearing and how you look. They try to arrange you. You become obsessed with your appearance, noticing flaws that likely don’t even exist. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror.

25. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they’ll lose interest in you.

26. Obsessed with humiliating successful, kind, and cheerful people. Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.

28. They expect you to read their mind. If they stop communicating with you for several days, it’s your fault for not knowing about the plans they never told you about. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this.

29. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. However, the truth is: no one can fill the void of a psychopath’s soul.

30. Your feelings. After a run-in with a psychopath, you will feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal, and empty. You will tear apart your entire life—spending money, ending friendships, and searching for some sort of reason behind it all.

We can find that normal and loving people do not raise any of these flags. After a negative encounter, most survivors face the struggle of hypervigilance: who can really be trusted? Our gauge will swing back and forth for a while, like a volatile pendulum. We all wonder if we have gone absolutely mad for wanting to believe the best in an old friend or a new date, but also feeling sick to the stomach when actually spending time with them.

It is important to develop our intuition, but that is a personal process. The world is mostly full of good people, and we suffer a double punishment if we miss them due to the fear of being hurt again.

People need to set aside some time to get in touch with their feelings, and become comfortable with a balance of awareness and trust. The reflection offers understanding about our emotions. It helps provide understanding for which old relationships need to be refreshed, and which toxic patterns need to be abandoned and replaced by healthier ones.

Society conditions us to ask “does this person like me” instead of exercising critical thinking and asking “do I like this person?”

#toxic people #toxic frienship #manipulative #red flags #don't ignore this #alerts #trust your instincts

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klvht · 4 years ago

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The Occult vs. “A Cult”

How many can agree that Christianity is a cult?

I thought so too, at first.

I grew up in a Catholic faith, went to a Catholic church, and attended a Catholic school. Over the years, it has changed. I have been to a few different churches, but all focused-on God.

I believe a couple days ago, that God put it on my heart to write about the occult and witchcraft, but I wasn’t sure how to, in order to get my full point across; So I figured I’d just share my journey.

As many of you know, I used to live in Salem, MA & have been visiting there for most of my life. (Shout out to Mr. Roy who had brought my father up there almost his whole life as well, R.I.P.) Don’t get me wrong, Salem is a BEAUTIFUL place, and I love it there, even til this day. The area is super peaceful, has an amazing history, and is overly beautiful. I believe that Salem is one of the centers of witchcraft, and unfortunately, I got into it too. I used to read oracle cards, use a pendulum, practice spells, create sigils, the list goes on. Even as a little girl, my parents were getting their car fixed, and there was a witch there who wanted to speak with me, for whatever reason, which now I find funny that I ended up walking down the same unrighteous path as her later on in life (but as early as 12 years old).

Let’s go back to the home that started it all... upstate, NY. I got my first pack of oracle cards when I used to live in a house built in the 1800’s; my mom purchased them for me. They were contained in a beautiful package littered with “Angel” messages, that would help me tell the future. I also had my first pendulum in that house that I purchased from a visit in Salem. It was a beautiful home, the first one my parents purchased, and we had acres of land, including and above ground pool, a separate garage/bay/barn area, chickens, guinea hens, and an awesome pup.

Above the garage/bay/barn area, there was a door. You walked up the stairs in my backyard, up the hill to the right, and found it. It was very weird, but since the home was so old, we never thought anything about it. I remember the first door, and first room. It was wood, dark, damp, and gross lol. But if you kept walking forward, you came to this second door. I cannot stress enough that this door had Satanic writing all over it, including warnings saying “demon/devil inside”, “do not open”, had a big pentagram on the door, as well as sigils written all over it in what I believed to be red paint or ink. Thinking about it now, I wish I never had the curiosity to open that door, I wish I understood that it was a true warning, whether people believed it to be or were just fooling around. I truly believe upon opening that door is what could have led to the outpouring of demonic and evil spirits in that house, and could have latched on to my family, because once we moved into that home, things were never the same. I remember a trap door being in there, and I remember a burst of warm/hot air that came out as soon as I opened it. It took me a while to open that door, and I’m not sure if that was the only reason, but there were ghosts in my house, and demons, and no one knew any better. My mother saw, felt, and heard a few different ghosts in that house. One she called the ‘cowboy ghost’ which stood in the doorway in one of the hallways that went by my living room and led to the upstairs. She was also in our downstairs bathroom one time, and heard a woman call out “Hello…” as if she just wanted my mother to know that she was there. Lastly, my mother was asleep on the couch one day, and woke up to something screaming in her face, which I know now, had to be a demon. My sister at the time, who could not have been older than 4 when we were living at that house, saw a little boy ghost walk straight through the wall. I never saw anything, but I never really have, I’ve just always been the one to feel presences.

There was sooo much negative energy in that house, and sorry to say it, but so much had manifested over time and had increased the greediness, heartlessness, separation, and negativity in my family. I didn’t see my parents much, they ran a successful construction business out of the home, us kids would NEVER go downstairs or walk around at night by ourselves, and my brother was definitely attacked and latched to in that house.

Upon seeing, feeling, and experiencing all this, my mom went to the local psychic to find out what was going on. She did not know, but trust me, you guys should NOT be relying on a psychic to tell you about your life. The psychic may tell you true things, they may be able to see your home through their ‘third eye’, and they could probably predict things that actually came true at a later date, BUT their messages come from Satan, and other evil spirits who wish to destroy, manipulate, and kill. I’ve experienced this a few times, I’ll elaborate in a few paragraphs to come. The psychic my mom went to, described our home “to a T”. She spoke about my grandfather who had passed, and other life experiences my mom had gone through, which most psychics start off with to gain trust. Then she moved on to how a dark entity was basically scaring my brother day in and day out; he wouldn’t even shower alone. She told my mom how our home was a “walk through” for spirits because there were two cemeteries on each side of the home, down the road both ways. I don’t remember if we ever tried to pray Jesus over the home, or had a priest bless the home.

My mother became ill in that house. Long story short, she collapsed on her and my father’s wedding anniversary in 2005, and my dad resuscitated her. I fully believe she has been latched on to, regardless of what anyone says. It has been 15 years, and the doctors STILL don’t know what is fully wrong or what happened that day. She has had multiple operations, been on a variety of medications, and still, cannot seem to get better.

My most recent encounter was with the New Age religion, earlier in this quarantine time, sometime in February 2020, which seems to collaborate all types of faiths, such as buddhism, chakra practices, satanism, witchcraft, meditation, spirit guides, and even some excerpts from the Bible. The problem was, that I have always known that I had a type of psychic gift, as well as, I considered myself to be an empath; and while that may be true, I did not hold the true meaning or source of these gifts, that were given to me by God, and manipulated by Satan.

What I got out of being involved with multiple groups of “The Great Awakening”, moving from “4D to 6D consciousness”, practicing “meditation” to find my “spirit guides”, “the law of attraction”, etc. was that it is ALL motivated by Satan and manipulated to deceive the souls created by God, to fool them, and to use them for his purpose, just by putting a simple twist on the subject, and to practice this type of inclusivity that the world had never seen before. That’s the thing about Satan, he appears warm & fuzzy, cool & collected, cares about all types of love and inclusivity, JUST to deceive people. He’s an evil mastermind. Remember that when he decides to reveal himself and push his new world order, just as the Bible says will come in these end times.

Let me tell you, the New Age religion is false. I found myself headed down the path very abruptly, and it was like I could not focus on anything else. Whatever demons I was letting into my life legally, (because that’s what you do when you welcome and practice in sin, worldly matters, emotions, feelings, and forms of witchcraft), were now starting to manifest and turn my whole world upside down. I was in a dark and depressed time, suicidal thoughts were again surfacing, I wasn’t caring about my wellbeing, I was hateful towards others, the list goes on.

One day I was meditating to find my “spirit guides”, and idk maybe about 10-15 minutes in, while focusing on my ‘third eye’ chakra, I saw a demon. A literal demon. It was crawling on all fours, had menacing, scary, sharp, flesh ripping teeth, and it JUMPED at me. (Think of those stupid jump scare videos on social media). As SOON as that happened, I called out to Jesus and said the ‘Our Father’ prayer, and instantly at once, I felt safe again. It was either that day or a few days later, that Jesus visited me in a dream to save me once again, because I had decided to focus on dark powers to give myself purpose, identity, and power. He was there for me, even though I left the path that He was with me on.

Others that I have spoken to that once practiced meditation and finding ‘spirit guides’, said that as soon as they turned to Christianity and Jesus once again, the same thing happened. These ‘spirit guides’ were demonic in spirit, but appeared as nice, helpful beings initially. This is terrifying stuff guys, but that’s what Satan is all about. He wants to deceive you until the very last second when Jesus comes, just so you will worship Satan and his beasts, rather than knowing that you can call on Jesus anytime to come help. There really is no way to “close the circle” as some witches call it during some of their sacrificing, or “white magic” rituals.

I have to admit, that I do feel guilty and a bit of groaning within me because I waited so long to write on this, because God put it in my mind and in my heart a couple days ago. And now look, there’s a full moon/eclipse that’s happening tonight, and witches all around the world are trying to “hex the racists”, “restore order”, and “bring peace” with their practices TONIGHT. I’m just glad that God showed me that before I went another day without writing on this subject.

Again, if you have any questions or want to hear more about my experiences, (I have plenty more that I may write about), feel free to comment or inbox me.

Thanks for reading,

God Bless You,

Jesus Saves.

I love you guys.

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ragnarssons · 5 years ago

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Okay I’m gonna need y’all to have a little faith in my man Bellamy Blake. > First, while the memory of that sentence might be true (is true, according to the script), it’s still one sentence from Bellamy, extracted after hours and hours of him literally wanting to erase the Primes from the surface of their own planet. That moment occured right after Bellamy tried to kill Russell (umm something Josephine didn’t care to mention to Clarke?) > We also know that Bellamy’s decision is driven as much by Clarke than by Monty. Both, in his mind, at that moment, friends he’s lost and both friends who asked him to do better and to be the better person. We have scenes making it canon; again 4x13 for Bellarke and 5x13 for Monty/Bellarke- and now only Bellamy. Bellamy was in his mind at that moment, the last one able to carry Monty’s legacy, and Clarke during all these episodes where they were “coming together” with the Primes, made it especially clear that she wanted to do things differently and that she wanted to turn a new leaf. > We also have to take into consideration all the people Bellamy also had to take into consideration- these conversations he had with Murphy aren’t there just to paint Murphy as a “selfless benevolent potential new leader”. Bellamy is the leader and will remain the leader- Murphy had a point tho, as selfish his motivation was. And guess who is among these people? Madi and Jordan. Literally Monty’s son and Clarke’s daughter. Bellamy HAD to do better, if not for himself, then for his friends’ children and to offer them a better future than what they’ve known, and what pushed Clarke and himself to take horrible decisions (not to mention, how it “killed” Octavia, in a moral standpoint). That’s the triangle of relation Monty, Bellamy and Clarke have: all three of them are parental figures. And who knows better than to wish for a better future for someone you consider as your kid, than Bellamy Blake, huh? He was the OG dad! That’s also why, for example, Jake let himself be floated without creating a whole mess inside the Ark. What would be good for his people and his own family, if the people on the Ark had turned against their government and a whole war would have blown out in the middle of a spaceship that was, at the time, seen as humanity’s last hope? (funny how Jake appears precisely on that episode, ya kno!) > From Clarke’s perspective, it can be interpretated that Bellamy accepted Clarke’s death to accept a deal. Which was NOT what happened. Bellamy accepted a deal DESPITE Clarke’s death. These aren’t the same thing, actually, they’re almost the opposite. He didn’t “give up” on Clarke to make a deal with the Primes. He had NOTHING to give up on since she was dead in his mind. But Clarke doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know what they learnt about the chips and the hosts, the videos and whatever Josephine and/or Russell told them. > Also, that’s me, uh, but I thought Clarke to be totally irationnal to expect Bellamy to want to fuck the Primes after all of this. But to me, it totally works with what she’s seen in her own mindspace: especially the scene with Blodreina. Clarke is so sure that she’s worthless to Bellamy and that he never forgave her, that of course, seeing an image, as brief and misleading it can be, of him “abandoning her” fucking HURTS. Basically, Josephine miraculously managed to show Clarke an image of someone “treating her” as she thinks people treat her. All that by capturing a 10 seconds scene after hours and hours and hours of Bellamy wanting to kill everyone on Sanctum because of what they did to Clarke. It’s manipulation 101 but at that moment, inside her own mindspace, after everything she’s been through, Clarke was too broken to see it. She had faced too much doubt and self-hatred to see how obvious of a manipulation it was. > I’d like also to point out that Bellamy is RIGHT when he says “it what she would have done”- literally, Clarke already DID something similar. Actually, she did what I talked about earlier ^^^^ Remember on s2? And she did it with the man she was in love with, literally, at the point. She accepted the idea of “giving up” on saving Finn, to secure an alliance with Lxa and the Grounders. Bellamy SAW it, Bellamy LIVED it. > And what do we know of that moment? Clarke sacrificed her own “soul”, and mind and peace and happiness (potential, with Finn) to do so. That’s also what Bellamy did. The thing is, Josephine talked to Clarke as if her people had chosen to LIVE with her death. But Bellamy said “now we SURVIVE”. There is a gifset going around showing Clarke’s reaction to Finn’s death and Bellamy’s reaction to Clarke’s death and him making the deal. BOTH of them are showing to survive after what had happened, because it was the thing to do. Not because they wanted it, but in order to make the other’s memory WORTH something (Clarke “if this fails, he died for nothing” and Bellamy’s “we do what Clarke would have wanted”). Thing is, contrary to what Josephine said, Clarke’s people - Bellamy especially - won’t live “happily ever after”. And that was SHOWN on episode 6. There is a meta also somewhere, that I think I reblogged about how the theme of the season is survival vs living. To me, that’s exactly it, and it was especially showed with Josephine’s flashbacks. Her “opposition” with Isaac was relying on that especially: how he wanted to live, and how the Primes are just SURVIVING. I mean... did Josephine marry? Did she have kids? Was she ever happy? Well no! She even lost the dude she was in love with! Their “thirst” of survival made her lose the man she was in love with, and created a whole war among these people! And Bellamy was NOT thinking about living without Clarke. He was thinking about the SURVIVAL of their people. He was making the sacrifice himself, to assure that Clarke’s death wouldn’t be in vain. He sacrificed his own want for revenge, to insure that their people would live; people that Clarke loved, people for whom Clarke “sacrificed” herself on 4x13 or several other times. But as “Monty” himself point out on this episode too, SURVIVING is not what he meant! He didn’t mean to survive despite other people’s crimes, he meant living, and that means, evolving, learning, trying, loving, etc. > Also let’s all remember that the moment, the moment Bellamy saw a whisper of life in Clarke, the deal was OFF. He doesn’t care about the compound anymore, proof being the fact that Russell’s explanations about it were muted from Bellamy’s perspective. He doesn’t care about surviving if he has a chance at LIVING. And damn isn’t it a very very strongly platonic new Bellarke theme huh? So... LIVING for Bellamy is only if Clarke is alive? In-te-rest-ing. He’s ready to throw it all away, be like “fuck sacrifice” just to get Clarke back! And that’s!!!! SO PLATONIC LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!

#the 100 speculations #the 100 meta #bellarke

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autumnrory · 6 years ago

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okay ik like everything’s been said about steve’s ending in endgame and i’ve made a million little posts but i’ve been meaning to write my own essay bc i’m MAD (if u liked it for him then like i’m sure u don’t wanna read so u can scroll on past) and there’s a lot of other stuff i didn’t like/that didn’t make sense about the movie but this post is about steve anyway let’s go

so from what i can tell there is not even a consensus among people who liked the ending whether it’s the same timeline or an alternate timeline but let’s talk about the possibilities here and what they mean, at least based on my understanding

option 1: same timeline

this means one of two things. either steve was actually peggy’s husband all along OR by going back and marrying her, that erases her husband and children entirely.

so if steve was peggy’s husband all along, that means that?? old steve has been walking around this entire time and nobody knew about it? this means that in 2016 sharon carter was like “you know what would be fun? kissing my great uncle when he’s young and hot” which WOW i thought it was icky before just bc she was PEGGY’S niece? marvel might have just made that worse. and hey, i’ll be fair, i’m sure in the very little time they likely took to think about this ending, they definitely weren’t thinking about sharon, considering they hardly thought about her when she was actually appearing in the movies. if steve was peggy’s husband all along, that means she was lying in the smithsonian footage, which hey, i don’t doubt her ability to lie, but the whole ass video is floating around out there and i’m just not sure you can fake that kind of emotion. when they ask her about her being the last person to talk to steve? that is a person talking about losing someone they cared for six years ago. it just contradicts so much of catws and other parts of the mcu (and the idea that people have that this was the plan the entire time? yeah fucking right the writers do not plan like that if they did there wouldn’t be so many fucking inconsistencies in this universe. i’m willing to bet they couldn’t name peggy’s husband in catws bc they were planning agent carter and thought there would be an explicit confirmation of who it was) and anyway, even if steve was her husband all along, there’s no way either steve or peggy could have KNOWN that she didn’t have a future being erased. so would either of them have really WANTED to take that chance?

the other option is of course that peggy moved on from steve, fell in love with somebody else, got married, had children, grandchildren, etc. if that’s the case, that means steve just changed her entire storyline. and who knows what marrying steve could have changed. it just........okay, agent carter was the first thing in the mcu i watched before i even knew shit about captain america (literally when they showed flashbacks i was like *maria hill voice* who’s this guy) but while we don’t know with any certainty that daniel sousa was the guy she ended up married to, i would have to guess steve went back to BEFORE she and daniel got together, meaning that like the entirety of agent carter is probably erased. her whole INCREDIBLE journey. i’ve read a million things the last week so if someone can let me know who the fuck said this, please do, but anyway someone said peggy’s story really begins when steve goes into the ice and it’s SO TRUE. “i have lived a life. my only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.” LET THEM KEEP THE LIVES THEY WERE MEANT TO LIVE. and anyway, i just think there’s no way, going back and changing who she marries wouldn’t also alter SO MUCH of what she did, and therefore our timeline.

either way, this option goes against everything about steve. i don’t care if he IS tired of fighting, there’s still no way he would sit quietly and not try to prevent things from happening. assassinations, hydra infiltrating shield, his BEST FRIEND being tortured and brainwashed for seventy years.

steve: if i see a situation pointed south, i can’t ignore it. sometimes i wish i could. tony: no you don’t. steve: no i don’t.

again, i’ll be fair, several years have passed since steve said that, but i just don’t buy the idea that he’s gonna sit back quietly, when his character through the whole mcu has been about fighting for what’s right

option 2: alternate timeline

i’ve seen some people say it’s because of the bracelets they used that would have allowed steve to jump back into our timeline when he’s old and be in the right place at the right time but like..........what’s the point. he ditched his friends and lived through seventy years without them so am i expected to believe that this steve (i don’t know him) even really cares about handing off the shield to sam (which, i did want, just in the form of our steve retiring and living his own life in the PRESENT) idk that last scene was just so much so fast and i was so mad watching it unfold i could hardly stand it so whatever

so okay say steve goes back to peggy and creates an alternate timeline by doing so, maybe in this timeline he rescues bucky and prevents a bunch of other things from happening

........but wasn’t the point of returning the stones to when and where they got them (which, of course we know the only reason steve was doing this alone was to get to this ending, but it’s ridiculous considering they had a whole team going to all different places in the movie WHATEVER) to PREVENT the creation of an alternate timeline? that’s why the ancient one was hesitant about giving bruce the time stone because it would create a branch or whatever IT MAKES NO SENSE.

this theory at least doesn’t necessarily screw over peggy since...our peggy would still exist and the steve and peggy we saw at the end of the movie would be in an alternate timeline

but it does go against the time travel rules as i understand them and it still fucks up steve’s characterization

whatever

everything’s fucked anyway

if they ever address it, whatever the mcu logic is, all these possibilities have flaws/leave plot holes because they really hardly gave any thought to their characters OR their time travel logic bc they wanted to force this ending

seriously all the peggy references throughout the movie like?? ofc he’s still gonna have that compass and i guess still carry it around since he’s been on the run and hasn’t a permanent place and therefore no safe place to keep it but....he looks at her picture before they go after thanos? it would make more sense if he looked at a picture on his phone of like him, bucky and sam or something. he’s at that group meeting five years later and talks about the loss of his chance with peggy which was u know like a decade ago for him (and i know i don’t like people saying ‘oh just get over it’ i don’t mean it like that i just mean like.......he was willing to move on in cacw - with her NIECE but whatever - and suddenly it’s like he’s never ever been over her and calling her the love of his life) instead of talking about the loss of bucky and sam, two of his best friends? wanda? t’challa? maria? nick? even the way he dresses is very reminiscent of the first avengers when he’s JUST woken up, but he gets away from that throughout the cap movies and gets more used to modern life. endgame does everything to force the idea that he’s still completely uncomfortable in this time. as if what? twelve years in the twenty-first century would mean going back to the 1940s makes you just as much a man out of time.

AND PEGGY. my god, i’ve loved peggy’s story though the mcu and look what this fucking movie did. peggy doesn’t even have fucking lines. we don’t even hear her talk when he stares longingly and dramatically at her through a window (it really reminded me of that jess/rory scene in the gilmore girls revival and hey that was a pairing i thought SHOULD have ended up together, but should not have had all that pining very similarly like ten years later it’s just weird the disappointments i feel in both of these things are so similar but that’s beside the point). we don’t get to see them have a conversation when he goes back to her. tony talked to howard and thor talked to frigga and we didn’t see steve talk to peggy. if she’s supposed to be The Love Of His Life (does marvel know if she could have another love of her life then so could he but whatever) and is suddenly his reason for everything or whatever they’re trying to play at, shouldn’t we get more than a longing look (not even a mutual one, like all the ones we got in catfa) and the dance? peggy carter is AMAZING and she doesn’t even really get a say. they reduced her to the object of steve’s affection and nothing more and it’s HORRIBLE.

frigga said “you’re not my thor” and i think peggy, be it 40s peggy or 70s peggy, would recognize that this is not her steve. look at everything he’s been through the last decade. he’s been through so much and yes, his relationship with peggy was a missed chance, but....the steve of now is not the steve that she lost. and i think no matter how much she might have wanted it to be whenever he came back to her, she would have known that and she would have sent him back home where he belongs, with his new family, in the present.

peggy was the one who said in catws “the world has changed and none of us can go back. all we can do is our best and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.” steve’s whole story since waking up has been about moving on and making peace with the fact that he lost his chance at the life he could have had after the war (much as i hate aou, it does touch on that fact, he says someone who wanted family and stability or w/e isn’t who came out of the ice and he says at the end of the movie “i’m home” THIS IS HIS HOME MARVEL HERE AND NOW). the fact that the trailer used peggy’s quote about moving forward and then fucking went against the whole ass point.......wild

and i hate to say this i really do.........but not in a satisfying way, just in an it-would-make-sense way. i didn’t want any characters to die, i think after seeing characters suffer so much they deserve a happy ending (so don’t tell me i don’t want steve to be happy because i do i’ve been yelling about how he needs to rest since cacw). but. BUT. it would have made more sense if he died, if he sacrificed himself, because that was a thing he constantly did throughout the mcu, just ya know, he always survived it. going down in the plane in catfa, on the helicarrier in catws, in sokovia in aou, and so on

and lemme tell you, steve dying? that was my Big Fear for this movie, i didn’t want to believe they would go there (i never expected they would go there with tony AND NAT god i’m mad about her too but that’s not what this post is about) but i was prepared for the possibility. when i first saw the theory floating around about him going back in time to be peggy, i didn’t think it was feasible (and it’s not! truly! it makes no sense!) and i didn’t think they would do something as complicated as messing with time like that (boy was i wrong) so i wrote it off. but i think.......what happened feels worse, because character death in movies like these can p much always be fixed you know? even if canon doesn’t, fic can keep everything canon gives us and still be like ‘oh they’re not actually dead because ____’ and this....this can’t be changed. fic has to change the ending. that last five minutes. five minutes fucked up ten years of characterization. anyway.

so here’s what i was thinking about? while not exactly the same because it was ya know parents they lost, thor had a conversation with frigga, tony had a conversation with howard. imagine if it had been steve on the mission to get the soul stone. and okay as a clintasha stan (fuck you aou) i LOVED that scene until nat’s death, i loved them fighting each other to be the one to go. but if it had been steve and maybe still nat too, he could have had his own blast from the past like thor and tony did with the red skull because idt he ever even found out it was the red skull in the soul world (is that what it’s called i forget), bc iirc clint just said something about a red guy. anyway it could have made for some nice catfa parallels with steve and red skull and if he WAS with nat it could have made for a nice aou parallel when they stay to get all the citizens out of there (”where else am i gonna get a view like this?” bc both my babies are willing to sacrifice themselves to save the world). but imagine when the relationship between steve and natasha has also been such a big part of the mcu, the two of them learning to trust each other and protect each other, and save each other, imagine both of them disagreeing over who should be the one to die, maybe not in the same way as clint and nat, not with physically trying to keep the other down, but...fighting about it nonetheless. imagine natasha watching him fall, imagine her returning without him.

of course this would’ve made me mad too because that would’ve meant not just that steve died, but that he died without getting to see bucky and sam again. but at least it would’ve MADE NARRATIVE SENSE and not fucked up his character, because it’s exactly the kind of thing he would do. anyway, it didn’t even have to be this idea of mine, it didn’t even have to be death at all, i just think...it would have made more sense than chasing after this fantasy of a life that he realized (and seemed to accept) he couldn’t have years ago.

now. what i’ve been screaming for the last week. to put it simply: STEVE WOULD NEVER. steve wouldn’t take peggy’s past away from her. steve wouldn’t leave bucky and sam and his other friends behind after all the hell they’ve been through, after half the population just woke up five years in the future, something he's experienced on a much larger scale. steve could have still given up being captain america. could have said, hey i still wanna do good but i don’t wanna fight aliens and shit anymore and i wanna have a chance to actually live my life. he could have given the shield to sam (okay ik the shield was destroyed at that point but u know what i mean) and that could have been the perfect ending for him, to get his happiness with who and what he still has, to truly make peace with what he’s lost.

and i can’t say all this without getting into bitter stucky territory. the entire fucking captain america trilogy has revolved around steve’s relationship to bucky. protecting bucky, saving him, believing in him when no one else will. he went on that mission in catfa based on the hope that bucky was alive, he lost him when he fell from that train. when steve found out bucky was alive, he gave up fighting him HE DROPPED HIS SHIELD he was willing to die on that helicarrier trying to save bucky, trying to get him to remember. with sam’s help they spent two years trying to find bucky and okay i’m not gonna get into why cacw bugged me that’s not this post but he STILL was trying to keep bucky safe, still believing in bucky, just....everything it’s too much to even put into words what the two of them mean to each other, what they do for each other.

bucky and steve haven’t really had a chance to be back in each other’s lives since cacw. bucky went back into cryo and sure we can assume steve’s visited him since he woke up but steve’s been on the run with sam and nat like........they’ve had very little time together. and steve just lived another five years without bucky AND sam and ditched them immediately? for someone he had a relationship with ten years ago? for someone he obviously was not meant for BECAUSE they DIDN’T end up together because he went down in that plane and she moved on and i’m just!!!

and anyway is bucky really like okay? like i saw that vid where the fan asked about the movie properly ending their story and they totally bullshitted an answer about them being able to be separate or whatever but like they’ve hardly been able to be TOGETHER, they’ve been pulled apart over and over. and like, yes bucky has his life in wakanda and he has sam but we haven’t really seen much of those relationships so we don’t actually know how much that means! steve is the only person who can understand even somewhat what bucky’s been through (obvs other mcu characters know what it’s like to have their minds fucked with whereas steve doesn’t know what that part’s like, but bucky hasn’t interacted with those characters unfortunately) so ya know at least in terms of adjusting to a whole new life after your old one was ripped away, steve’s all he’s got. ofc now other people will get a sense of that, but still. in terms of history, shared life experience, steve and bucky are all each other have.

all bucky and steve share in this movie is an exchange that literally already happened in catfa but in reverse. they couldn’t even give us an original MOMENT. and bucky apparently knew what steve was gonna do which just makes it WORSE, like he just had to accept it and let steve go, let steve be someone else. if they wanted to end steve’s arc properly, it would’ve been about bucky because THAT’S what steve’s whole fucking story has been about, and the writers and directors who literally made steve’s arc that way fucking ignored that bc they’re homophobic (and misogynistic) goodbyeeeee like u cannot deny that tearing bucky and steve apart permanently isn’t a slap in the face to stucky shippers, they’ve been giving less and less since catws when they realized how obviously romantic their story is. it’s just fucking cruel (don’t get me started on using the song from right before steve and bucky’s first interaction in catws for the dance as soon as it started playing i wanted to SCREAM ik it’s possible they didn’t know it was an association with stucky buuuuuut with social media ppl very easily know what the fandom is saying so. who knows it just fucking sucked) to put an end to the stevebucky relationship when they haven’t had a real chance to be together, even as just friends, since catws, and it’s especially cruel to end their relationship THIS WAY

anyway this ending (JUST A FEW MINUTES REALLY) just does a disservice to steve AND peggy AND bucky and their stories and i’m just so disappointed and angry on their behalf. if anyone wants to talk about it to me FEEL FREE as long as you’re not a dick bc i obvs love to commiserate with the fandom over this MESS

#steve rogers #avengers: endgame #mcu #anti endgame #endgame spoilers #steve x bucky #this is so long and messy and probably won't be read but #long post

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bernuviels-inspiration · 6 years ago

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Mike Shinoda's show in Zurich, 17. March 2019

I had the amazing chance to attend one of Mike’s concerts of the last Post Traumatic Tour. And it was absolutely awesome!

You can read all about my little adventure under the cut. It’s pretty long though. xD

I was very surprised when Mike announced a show in Switzerland, since we did pretty bad in the „WeDemand“ campaign and I barely knew any other Swiss fans. But I was so grateful and excited – Zurich is only about 20km from my home! In order to help make the show a success I founded a Facebook group for it. On show day we had 90 members! I had also joined the Linkin Park Street Team a while ago and they sent me some posters to put up. And I printed 1'000 flyers and distributed them around Zurich with some friends from the group. I met so many nice people from all over the world thanks to that group: Finland, Denmark, Brazil, Spain, USA, etc. And even finally some fellow Swiss fans! We planned flash mobs, painted a flag and even had a little meet up the day before the show. It was so much fun! Thank you LP Family, I love you all dearly. <3

Since I'm an LPU member, I tried my luck with the Meet & Greet contest again. And as usual when it comes to random, luck-based things, I had none. But there was another contest by the host of the event. They wanted us to tell them, why we deserve to win a Meet & Greet. Both of my sisters wrote beautiful, heartwarming comments about my commitment with the FB group and advertising, but also how I coped with Chester's death by drawing all those LP artworks and how much this band (and especially Mike) mean to me. Even complete strangers said, that they think I deserve it most. That moved me to tears! At first the tickets were given away to someone else. But one of the winners got ill and asked the host to give the ticket to someone who really wants it. And they chose me! I couldn't believe it! That was so nice of all of them. Thank you so much. <3 And so the most incredible thing happened: I got to meet my hero! The 16 lucky winners were taken into the cool London bus of a local radio station. There we all got to meet Mike one by one. It was awesome, but unfortunately also very brief. Everything happened so fast, that I didn't really have time to realize what was going on. I just remember that the first thought that went through my head when I stood in front of him was: “He is so CUTE!”. I mean, I knew that before, but he's even more adorable in real life and up close. xD I was very nervous and probably talked too much, which is very unlike me. But I could finally give Mike the Post Traumatic artwork I drew for him, which means my biggest dream came true. And he signed the second one for me. In the picture it looks as if he wanted to say something about it, but couldn't because I was blabbering too much – damn! I'm so sorry, Mike. Oh, and the hat was a gift to him from one of my friends from the group. I almost started laughing, when I realized he wore a jacket with the exact same pattern – that's so Mike! And also yay, free fluff. :D

After the Meet & Greet we were even allowed to go into the venue first! That meant front row! I've never been that close to a stage before and was super excited about it. I'm usually not the “front row type”, since I'm quite reluctant and shy. While waiting there, I saw a crew member put our Swiss flag onto Matt's keyboard. I texted the girl, who painted it and she was super happy about it. We succeeded with getting the flag to the crew through the M&G – I was damn proud of us! xD Then the “opening act” started. Well, it was more of a last minute stand in, since the original one (a local rapper) got canceled without any explanation. And so a young “DJ” was hiding behind his laptop, playing one song after another without doing any DJ-ing. They could have just turned the radio on, but it was okay. We weren't there for him anyway. And finally, showtime! Mike, Matt and Dan entered the stage with lots of applause from the crowd. They even started the set with a song that hasn't opened any sets on this tour before: When They Come For Me. I love this song, it's so much fun! I was just hoping that my parents, who I talked into coming to the show too (yes, I did that with everyone I knew xD), didn't catch a certain word. I didn't want them to think badly of Mike. xD Following was the probably most well-known (at least in Switzerland) Fort Minor song Remember The Name, also unusually early in the set. Then Mike took the first little break and welcomed the audience. That was our signal for the first flash mob! It was a very spontaneous one, inspired by a certain video, he has uploaded just a few days prior. The front row was shouting: More cowbell! Mike started laughing and walked over to Dan, who indeed had a cowbell on his drum set. Mike said “Just for you guys.” and played a hilarious cowbell intro to Ghosts, which is a kinda funny song anyway, thanks to the sock puppets. I was so happy: Another success and we even made Mike laugh! :D

Next Mike talked about a tweet from the same day, where someone was analyzing the chances of a song being played in his set. He doesn't like to be predictable, so he decided to screw up the statistics and play some extra rare songs tonight. Thank you, spreadsheet guy! xD The first song that came from this, was the hilariously sarcastic High Road. It's in my Top 3 FM songs and funnily enough, he played it last year in Cologne too – one of only 5 times on the tour! The following song had a high chance of being played and I love it very much: The emotional Roads Untraveled. During the “and if you need a friend, there's a seat here alongside me”, Mike pointed at the crowd again. That's just so nice of him! Then Mike played something super rare again, it was actually even a tour debut: Kenji! I know how much this song about the tragic history of his family means to Mike, so it was a great honor to hear it live. Some fans (including me) even made the peace sign at the end of the song, like he used to. That was really moving. And he continued with songs I love dearly, starting with the PT bonus track Prove You Wrong. Even though the melody sounds kinda sad, there is something so uplifting in those lyrics. Mike also put it into his Instagram stories and you can actually see me singing along. I sang every song as loud as I could, forgetting about my shyness for a while. It was amazing! The next song in the set was the only one that got me emotional in a negative way (but only for a second). I was prepared for In The End and his speech, but I was not prepared for Nobody Can Save Me. For a moment I was back on July 20th, sitting in the darkness of my room and singing along to the One More Light album while crying. Luckily I managed to snap out of that quickly, because I actually love this song. It's one of the best Linkin Park has ever written, in my opinion, because it has such a great message. Nobody can save us – only we ourselves can. And Mike sang so beautifully... What an honor to hear that live! Another OML song followed (luckily not OML itself, I just can't take that one): Sorry For Now. Dan played an amazing drum solo in the bridge and Mike added the demo verse of Lift Off afterwards. He then even rapped the chorus of Step Up, a super rare and old LP song! (I could tell, because barely anybody knew the answer to “Who can rock a rhyme like this?” - I swear I shouted “Like this!” as loud as I could. xD) I love Step Up! Especially in the amazing rock-hip hop medley with Nobody's Listening and It's Going Down, that LP used to play in the Meteora days. Mike then also introduced Dan, who got a lot of applause from the crowd. Later he also introduced Matt, by asking him since when he's even been there. Matt answered: “The entire tour, but sometimes I take bathroom breaks.”, which resulted in Mike laughing about his British accent. These dorks! There was also another crew member, that Mike introduced to us: Photographer Chady. Some Swiss friends of his had invited Mike to eat Raclette (melted cheese that you usually put on potatoes, pickles and pearl onions – it's very tasty!). Mike joked that eating lots of cheese before a show is really good for you. xD The set continued with PTs lead single Crossing A Line, which inspired my artwork. I just love how hopeful it is. During the song, Mike threw some guitar picks into the crowd. I wasn't trying to catch anything, since I already had that awesome signature and thought other fans deserved it more. But I guess Mike had other plans... During the bridge of the song he plays on his drum pads for a moment and then throws the sticks into the crowd blindly. Well, he tried to kill me with it! xD (Luckily I put the phone away, just a moment before the drumstick hit my hand. Damned it Mike, that hurt! xD)

He then played another PT song, which I love dearly: Hold It Together. The lyrics are pretty dark, but there is something very fun about the melody. The first mashup followed: Waiting For The End / Where'd You Go. The crowd's singing sounded amazing, especially in the outro, which is a piano version of WFTEs first verse and chorus. Mike praised us: “You guys have beautiful voices. You should sing more often, it's good for you.” Matt and Dan left the stage and Mike started this calm piano playing and speech. Time for our second flash mob! We held up signs that said: “Music Inspiration Kindness Emotion”. This time there were even more signs than for the first one. (I spent quite some time inviting every fan to join our flash mob before the show and handing out the signs I designed.) Mike noticed them, curiously asking “What are those?” Then he realized it: “That's my name! That's very kind. Thank you guys very much, that's cool.“ He seemed so happy and both of our flash mobs were a success! He then continued with his speech, saying that he doesn't want these shows to be sad, but to celebrate Chester's life instead. The crowd cheered very loudly for Chester for several minutes! And then we all sang the beautiful piano version of In The End together. After that, Mike asked us if we wanted to sing another song. Is that even a question?! xD He started to play Heavy, but stopped before the singing part, because he thought the crowd would want another song more. I already got worried during the show and it really hurt me, when I saw all the hate the Swiss crowd got on social media from people who weren't even there... As if we wouldn't know the words to Heavy... It's the most played LP song on the Swiss radio! We would have loved to sing it! (Me especially, because my father was in the crowd and he really likes that song.) But Mike decided that Numb would be a better fit, maybe even to not make everyone too sad. Numb is my favorite Linkin Park song, because it's the one that made me fall in love with the band in the first place. And it was awesome to sing it with so many people. The Swiss crowd did a great job! Video: In The End & Numb (with Mike's speech & reaction to the second flash mob) They closed the main set with my favorite medley of the tour: About You / Over Again / Papercut. Even though it reminds me a lot of Chester (About You & Over Again are the PT songs that are most about him) and it's really painful to see Mike perform Papercut's bridge alone, I could also enjoy it. Everyone was jumping around and shouting during Papercut. That song is just so great! Mike, Matt and Dan then left the stage for the encore break. The crowd started to sing “lift me up, let me go”, but not as loud as in Italy a few days before. We are just a generally reluctant nation. The hall also wasn't as full as I hoped it would be. There were probably around 2'000 people. Hopefully we did well enough for Mike to want to come back to Switzerland. After a few minutes, Mike, Matt and Dan sneaked back on stage, hiding behind their instruments. As if we wouldn't notice them anyway! Such dorks. xD They played a beautiful instrumental version of Robot Boy, which really let their skills and teamwork shine. It's so sad to think that this is the last Post Traumatic tour. Matt and Dan have really grown on me and it's hard to see them leave. Mike then sang a beautiful PT song I haven't heard live before and that wasn't even originally planned: World's On Fire. I know he wrote it for his wife Anna (and his kids), who is a wonderful person too, but it was as if the crowd was singing it for Mike. It's true, when the world's on fire, all we need is him. I'm so grateful that he shared PT with us! He led us all through the grief and darkness that followed Chester's death. And that night it was obvious, that we are in a much better place now. Following was the beautiful, consoling Castle Of Glass, one of my favorite LP songs. And then they played the second PT single Make It Up As I Go. Such an amazing song and it always reminds me of those hilarious moth memes. xD Mike encouraged us to sing his part of the chorus while directly looking at me. I was singing my heart out! He smiled and shouted “yeah!” That was an awesome moment. I rarely felt so appreciated like on that day, not just by Mike but also by the other fans. The last mashup followed: Good Goodbye / Bleed It Out (including a drunken pirate who wanted to give Mike a kiss xD) and the crowd went wild! For Running From My Shadow, the last song of the set, Mike came down to the crowd as he always does. He stood on the barricade just about two meters away from me. It was great to see him have so much fun up close! Afterwards he high-fived the front row (including me :D) and returned to the stage. He smashed one of Dan's cymbals until the end of the song and then soaked us in water. When Mike left the stage, he stopped at our Swiss flag and blew it a kiss. I loved seeing that, because it gave me hope that we didn't disappoint him and he might come back someday.

I still can't believe all of this actually happened! I made new friends from all over the world. I met my hero and finally got to give him my artwork. I got to spend the entire show in front row, super close to Mike. They played so many amazing songs and had so much fun. The flash mobs worked out and our flag made it on stage. All my hard work payed off. I really enjoyed this concert, it was a once in a lifetime experience. Thank you so much, everyone! I hope I'll see you all again soon. ;)

#mike shinoda #post traumatic tour #fan report #fan review #zurich #switzerland

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gingerandwry · 6 years ago

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Montgomery, Alabama

After Birmingham my next step was 1.5 hours south, the state capital Montgomery, another historically-charged city in the South. I read it was pretty sleepy (truth) so I decided I would just spend a few hours there but my time did not disappoint. Even more so than Birmingham, Montgomery is a step back in time with important lessons for the present. If only they would learn....

My first stop off I-65 was the brand new National Memorial for Peace and Justice. It opened last year to commemorate victims of racially-motivated violence, from slavery to police killings, but its primary focus is lynchings. Atop a grassy hill under a low slung roof hang 400 rectangular iron slabs, one for each county where lynchings took place (mostly in the South, but parts of the midwest too). On each slab is engraved the name of the county and the people who were lynched there (tho only a fraction of the victims and their stories are known). The pathway slopes downward in a loop until the slabs’ hanging effect becomes unmistakeable. Along the sides are engraved inspirational quotes and the shocking stories of some of the victims (one man was lynched after a coat went missing). The horrific details of torture and death are not spared. Outside this roofed area an identical set of 400 slabs lie on the ground like a field of coffins, waiting for each county to pick theirs up and display it, in an attempt to create a truly national memorial and a semblance of accountability. It’s deeply saddening and moving, a truly provocative, moving, overdue addition to our country’s national monuments. But unlike, say, the Vietnam Memorial, here you must have your bags inspected, pass through a metal detector and be told not to take selfies with the statues of tormented slaves in chains. How awful that those precautions are still needed.

From there I moved to Montgomery’s most famous institution, the Rosa Parks Museum. It has two halves: a children’s wing that tells a very simplified version of black history from slavery to Jim Crow (all while sitting on a “time machine” bus with hydraulics driven by the robot Mr. Rivets); and a wing focused on Parks’ protest and the ensuing bus boycott. Annoyingly the ticket person didn’t tell me that the first part was for children when he sold me a ticket, so I wasted 30 minutes riding this Magic School Bus. At least I was all alone (except for Mr. Rivets) so I didn’t have to give up my seat to anyone.

I decided to postpone the second half of the museum and walk through downtown Montgomery to the capitol building. The main street, Dexter Ave, has not changed much since Parks was arrested there almost 65 years ago. Most of the storefronts are deserted and judging by the signage left behind, they have been empty for decades. Some of the structures are quite beautiful and historic, such as the fountain at Court Square (originally a slave market and later the bus stop where Parks boarded that bus) and the Winter Building (where the Confederate leaders sent a telegram to their generals permitting them to fire upon Fort Sumter, which started the Civil War). But mostly it’s pretty bleak. Even the more modern government buildings at the end are really unattractive smorgasbords of too many architectural styles.

The capitol building itself is fairly nice. The grounds are well-maintained, and they had the decency to remove the Confederate flags from their massive monument to the Confederacy.... (Fittingly I had the disgust of seeing Jeff Sessions pass by as I was photographing the monument.) The building has undergone several expansions and renovations and even tho there has been some attempt to restore original details, it still looks like the interior came from Julia Sugarbaker of “Designing Women.” The walls are mostly painted pink and lavender, and the carpeting and chandeliers are quite... ornate. The original Senate chamber is where the Confederacy was born, and the front steps are where Jefferson Davis was sworn in as president. (Over one hundred years later, MLK would address 25,000 supporters from those steps after they walked in protest from Selma, the first attempt ending in the police severely beating the marchers.) Weirdly I think I saw maybe three people working in the entire STATE CAPITOL, not to mention the dozen I saw walking around the city for an hour. It is sleepy there....

Montgomery has an interesting way of addressing its dual history as the birthplace of both the Confederacy and the Civil Rights Movement. The public signage is notably impassive: “This happened here. This happened there.” Of course true objectivity doesn’t exist-- they use “secede” and “secession” a lot, rather than, say, “rebel” and “traitor”-- but I do think the state has struck the right chord. They know how divisive their history continues to be. They clearly just want to acknowledge historic events and keep the government neutral in these heated discussions, a wise lesson for Alabama. (My biggest gripe is that I saw nothing acknowledging that Montgomery began as an important port for slave trading. Even the sign at the riverfront only mentioned that the port traded a lot of cotton, grain “and other commodities”.)

The non-state sites, such as the Rosa Parks Museum and the Lynching Memorial, stir enough passion to make up for the official indifference. My next stop was the National Civil Rights Memorial, an homage to 40 people who died as martyrs during the Civil Rights struggle, Some of them were active protestors; others were bystanders whose deaths helped propel the movement. Some are familiar, like Medgar Evers, Emmett Till and MLK; others are unknown. The terrifying, harrowing personal stories hit hard. Outside of the museum is a water sculpture designed by Maya Lin (of the Vietnam War Memorial) that is solemn and dignified, while its flowing water and circular design suggest the struggle has always been happening and continues to this day.

After this it was time for lunch at Dreamland, a small Alabama BBQ chain that was as delicious as it was friendly. It’s in an area just northwest of downtown by the riverfront that is undergoing a promising, well, gentrification. It’s full of beautiful old brick factories and warehouses that are being restored and converted into lofts, galleries, restaurants, bars, etc. It sounds tragic to coastal ears, but I think Montgomery could really benefit from development that draws in young people. And the restorations look remarkable.

After lunch I walked to Old Alabama Town, a collection of small old homes spread across several blocks that display what the city used to look like (I’m not sure when exactly). It was cute and charming but not architecturally noteworthy and hardly worth the walk over. I went back, past the Hank Williams statue, and popped over to the riverfront, also not worth the walk (at least not on a grey winter day).

My last stop was back at the Rosa Parks Museum to see the “grown-up” wing I missed before. It’s one of these museums that makes you sit through various presentations rather than proceed at your own pace. I’m not a fan of that, especially when I’m tired and trying to get to Mobile before the rain and dark arrive. The first video describes life for blacks under segregation and explains how the bus segregation was the most hated of all, which was actually pretty interesting. It tells Rosa Parks’ backstory as well, but although it explains how she worked with the NAACP, it glosses over how much of her protest was plotted in advance so that the museum can stick to the “just a tired lady on the bus” narrative. Once that video ends, some doors open and lead the viewers into a room designed to look like a bus stop, complete with the shell of an old bus. In the windows a video is playing, and for the next ten minutes actors in the video recreate the scene when Parks wouldn’t give up her seat. It sounds weird-- and it was-- but somehow it works. (Fun fact: under city law Parks was allowed to sit where she was and did not have to give up her seat, tho neither she nor the driver was aware.) Unfortunately I had to skip the self-guided history of the boycott (which is really the best part) because my meter was running out. I also decided to skip the Lynching Memorial’s sister Legacy Museum. It sounds amazing, but I wanted to get on the road and frankly, it sounds really depressing, and I had had enough for the day.

I then left for Mobile (to be continued) and while I was having dinner there I caught up on the news of the day. It turns out that while I was touring Montgomery’s and Alabama’s tortured history of discrimination, the US Supreme Court handed down a decision in the case of Domenique Rey. Rey is a Muslim man on death row in... Alabama. After exhausting his appeals, he asked that an imam be allowed to pray with him during his execution. The state told him that only the officially sanctioned (Christian) chaplain would be allowed. Rey appealed, citing the Constitution’s anti-establishment clause which forbids the government from favoring any religions. The Eleventh Circuit stayed his execution but the US Supreme Court decided against him. The new conservative majority of five thought that because his petition arrived just weeks before the execution, he was only trying to delay it (nevermind that he filed as soon as he learned the imam would not be allowed). Even many conservative commentators think this will go down as one of the Court’s worst decisions, along with Dred Scott and Plessy (which I learned about on the time machine bus tour!). Curiously, after the Eleventh Circuit stayed the execution, Alabama figured the jig was up so they changed the rule so that no clergy of any faith would be allowed to comfort the condemned during an execution. This echoes the state’s tactics during the fight against segregation, when they closed parks, pools, schools, etc. rather than integrate them. Alabama, will you ever grow up?!

#montgomery #alabama #travel #intentionaltravel #gaytravel

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candimcart · 6 years ago

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Hello, Hello! So, it’s been a bit since I took the time to blog. Kassie keeps me pretty busy from day to day, especially with Mike working two jobs. But guess what, after a year and 8 months of hustling Mike is finally able to be home with us in the evenings! For awhile he was working seven days and over 70 hours a week with almost zero complaints. He came home from one job, rushed off the second, came home well past his bed time and still made sure to squeeze in time with his little girl. He is seriously, above and beyond an amazing father. But, now the rushing in and out comes to an end. We received our final adoption invoice last month and were able to pay it off the next day! I felt that since so many people were involved with our adoption journey it was best to share our total cost and how we got to that number. I will try to be brief in the only way I know, which is to not to. (Tow Mater? Cars? Anyone?)

Here it is: WAIT! Let me back up!

WE FINALIZED OUR ADOPTION!!!!!!

I was sitting in a movie theater beside my cousin, David watching A Quiet Place when I got the email. I am generally not one of those jerks who checks their phone during a movie but, I knew that on this day a judge would be deciding our fate with Kassie’s biological father. I should have been enjoying the two hour mommy break and cringing at the monsters that hunt noise but instead, I was spaced out focused on my thigh where my phone was sitting silently. When I felt the buzz I grabbed my phone and with the screen light turned all the way down read the words ” Biological Father has had rights revoked today. We can finalize!” Of all the movies I chose to loudly sob in, why did it have to be one that’s main theme is silence? I remember my cousin leaning over to ask if I was okay and I just whispered “She’s ours” and for the rest of the movie I just keep saying to myself “She’s ours” in disbelief.

Finally Forever Family May 18th, 2018!

If you don’t know me personally you may not understand that I am a crier. I’m a sentimental and angry crier. I don’t cry over sadness like I do over happiness (and at times, madness.) Well, this was the happiest day of my life. The judge said “Are you ready? Raise your right hands.” and I lost it. Shortly after, Mike did too. I love him so much for not being afraid to cry in public.

We found the perfect little shelter at the perfect little park but it only came with a 40 person limit. I cried about that. Narrowing it down from the few hundred people who joined us on our journey was not fun for us at all. But, we did our best and hopefully no one was hurt along the way.

The turnout was wonderful as well as the cake and cupcakes by Aunt Brandy. Bampaw and Bammaw surprised us with a big star cut out of a sheet for all of our friends and family to encircle for a photo shot on my Dad’s new drone. It was a wonderful way to celebrate such a long awaited end to our journey and allow for our brand new journey to begin.

Okay, here it is! Drumroll please…

$8,280.22!!!!

What? How is that even possible? Every website. Every agency. Every person. They all said $25,000-$55,000 in our state so how did we get away with $8,280.22 for our entire adoption? Well, there are several reasons that led to this for us and they are NOT as uncommon as you (I’m talking to you waiting adoptive parents) are told.

1: The stars aligned. (They can for you too, waiting parents!)

2: Bio Mom refused counseling. She was very confident and happy with her decision.

3: Bio Mom refused an attorney.

4: Bio Mom had her own insurance.

5: Bio Mom did not request any financial assistance other than $50 in gas to drive from her home to our city for TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

6: Our Attorney was AMAZING! He is a well known Adoption Attorney in OK and he is well recognized nationally as well. He and his wife run their adoption agency which began after they adopted their daughters in the 80’s. They are hugely responsible with changing laws and adoption practices in Oklahoma. He will absolutely not take a dime from his clients until shortly before baby is due, or in our case the day baby is born. We handed him $3500. He and his wife Linda met us at the hospital with all of the paperwork ready to be signed. They seriously made this process so easy which would have been a hundred times easier had I not tried to control everything. The day they came to the hospital our attorney had to get right in my view and say “You are Mommy now. That is the number one job for you. We will be the attorneys. You just go home and be a regular Mommy now. Trust us.” I didn’t feel like I was being a control freak but if nothing else he probably saw my nerves rattled to the bone. He knew just what to say, I took his advice and I found my peace in that moment. I find it very important that every choice you make when on this journey feels like “home”. You will know that feeling when it hits you. If you make a decision and it doesn’t have that comfortable, “I’m home” feeling, change it! This is how we chose our adoption attorney and our home study worker. With that being said and out of the way, if you are looking for an adoption attorney start here: Swain Law, Adoption Attorney!

7: This may make me unpopular (not that I care) and this is coming from my personal experience combined with the experience of other adoptive parents I have gotten to know… Agencies, some…most…all (?) may have the best intentions but they don’t make money off of expectant mothers who choose to parent their child. Adoption Agencies are businesses and just like every other business they need to have income to survive. They also rule the marketing world for adoption. Google “How do I adopt?” and you you will be swarmed with agencies and guidelines that all tell you going through a private adoption like ours will end in heartbreak more often than not. Well, let me tell you. I was in the biggest adoption group on Facebook and guess what I learned… “Adoption Disruptions” are not any more common with private/attorney adoption versus agency adoption. I have seen couples shell out $3,000 and up (way up) to get he ball rolling on adoptions via agencies and the expectant mother decides to parent. I have seen babies go to adoptive homes and the biological mother decide to parent. Guess what happens? Adoptive parents are forced to return what has already been their baby and they, in most cases are out the money spent. I have seen adoptive parents lose their entire savings and end up childless and broke leaving them with only one choice: find away to be satisfied never being parents. I saw it more times than I ever thought I would. We are so lucky that we chose to have all avenues open for us. We chose to start the process with finding an expectant mother while fundraising and saving for an agency (before I know what I know now about agencies). Some couples refuse to even go the route we did for fear of disruption and STILL end up with the heartbreak of a disrupted adoption.

I made sure to listen and absorb every story I could, not only from adoptive couples and waiting couples but from adoptees and biological parents. When we began our journey I had no clue what the Adoption Pyramid was nor did I care. I just wanted to be a Mommy… NOW. My heart was getting bitter and nothing mattered more to me than being someone’s Mommy. I am so glad that I learned all about the pyramid through hours and hours of reading posts, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, watching videos, etc. Having that knowledge BEFORE Kassie was born has very much changed the path of our adoption. We didn’t just gain a daughter, we gained another family. Her biological family is our family now too. I hope they always choose to be in our lives. Okay, I trailed off as I do. I am fortunate to have used the resources available to me to learn all about the importance of the pyramid. I listened to so many adoptees and biological mothers tell their stories. So often, the biological mothers have gone through the agencies instead of privately finding a couple like Kassie’s bio family did. They go through the agencies because they feel safer, they feel like the couples are screened better, and there is less chance of anything going wrong. Unfortunately they (their words, not mine) are manipulated into placing their child when they are vulnerable and unprepared to make that huge decision. You know what…this may just be a blog for another time. I am sure I will be attacked for saying these things that I learned in the dark and speaking them into the light. So let me stop with full intention to bring this to light another time when I am better able to articulate what I mean.

So here is a final recap:

Adoption Method: Private Infant Domestic Adoption

Timeline:

June 6th, 2017: Began spreading our story and calling for Star Hunters to help get the word out.

July 27th, 2017: Contacted through our blog by Bio Grandmother.

October 2017 (week of Oct 25th) Paid $3500 to Swain Law.

October 25th, 2017: Kassie is born!

October 31st, 2017: Bio Mom signs TPR.

May 18th, 2018: Adoption is Finalized!

Total Amount Raised: Just under $4,000 if I recall(I can’t get into my office right now to grab the fundraiser papers so I will edit in the exact number when I can!

Total Amount Saved: just over $5,000!!!

Total Cost: $8,280.22!

So, there it is. THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for joining us on our journey in whatever way you did!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

-Mommy, Daddy, & Kassie Too

The Final Bill Hello, Hello! So, it's been a bit since I took the time to blog. Kassie keeps me pretty busy from day to day, especially with Mike working two jobs.

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theliterateape · 4 years ago

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Gambling with the Currency at Hand

by Don Hall

At every casino in Las Vegas there are these pamphlets. Usually hidden away behind a sign that indicates that one must inspect their sports ticket before leaving the Sportsbook or a promotion for “$30,000 Credit for Gaming” with four paragraphs of fine print underneath. These trifold informational pieces are colored in a dull brown and beige — a sunset photo — with a muted title: “When the Fun Stops”.

“Some problem gamblers may gamble to relieve boredom or avoid feelings of anxiousness or stress. Others may gamble to ‘numb out’ when feeling helpless, guilty, or depressed.” — from “When the Fun Stops” by The Nevada Council on Problem Gambling

In a year and a half of working in an Off-Strip casino flanked by an In-and-Out Burger, a Wendy’s, and a Siegel Suites, I never saw a single soul pick one up and peruse its contents.

The marketing of Las Vegas has promoted an adult playground of gambling, booze, and sex sans accountability for decades. From the days of the Rat Pack to the glamour of Steve Wynn, the city has made its bones on these core values. For every tourist from Japan or Iowa, however, there is someone who lives here in the grimy shadow of weekend fun, either cleaning up the mess left behind or searching through the refuse for something missed as the hungover travelers disembark.

Debra worked in HR for a local company for years. She was born in New Jersey and moved to Nevada in the early 2000’s with her sister. Her life was relatively average — some bills, a mortgage, car payments — nothing beyond her means. One day she slipped and injured herself in a Big Box store and sued. She won an insurance claim just north of a million dollars.

She planned on living off of this payout through her retirement. She paid off some loans, bought a car, financed a home for she and her sister. No more working for a living was almost a daily mantra. This life, however, bored her beyond words. They were in Vegas, after all, and the sirens of slot winnings sung their tune.

Five years later, most of the million dollars has been spent on video poker. Debra is broke but still plays three times a week with money she no longer has for money she won’t see again.

"Most people who gamble do so with no harmful effects. They set limits and stick to them. However, for a small percentage of the population, gambling can become more than a game, and lead to serious consequences for both the gambler and their family.

Here are some of the warning signs:

Gambling to escape worry or trouble Gambling to get money to solve financial difficulties Unable to stop playing regardless of winning or losing Gambling until the last dollar is gone Losing time from work due to gambling Borrowing money to pay gambling debts Neglecting family because of gambling Lying about time and money spent gambling" — from “When the Fun Stops” by The Nevada Council on Problem Gambling

Teddy was a Big Deal in the world of fossil fuel safety protocol. It ain’t Tom Cruise or Barack Obama territory but it had paid extremely well for a long time. He was a hefty man with a booming laugh and a warm smile that sort of expanded his charm two or three feet around him.

When Teddy came there were some rules. This guy spent so much money in one sitting the General Manager would comment that if Teddy wanted everyone in the casino out so he could play in peace they’d be escorted off the property until Teddy was done. It never came to that but the rules were simple:

Teddy played the two ‘Dancing Drums’ slots exclusively, so the machines on either side were shut off.

He drank Sierra Mist and was on a constant refill protocol.

He was gregarious but didn’t want to be bothered by anyone so keeping the hangers-on on the floor away was key.

Teddy always played the maximum bet which for his machines was $8.80 per spin. He routinely dropped between $10,000.00 and $25,000.00 in an afternoon. He'd likely hit four or five jackpots in the $1,600.00 to $4,500.00 range. And he never tipped.

That was such an odd aspect of this guy. He obviously had tons of idle cash but was cheap when it came to the expected Vegas fee for service. It wasn't as if he was a lowball tipper -- he simply did not tip for any reason. He was our definition of a high roller yet behaved like the cat who'd come in looking for nothing but his $10.00 of free play and hopefully a comp drink.

"...eventually funds may not be available to meet the most basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, etc. In desperation the gambler may begin lying and/or stealing to cover up the problems, creating further stress for everyone around them." — from “When the Fun Stops” by The Nevada Council on Problem Gambling

When I first encountered TC and his mother I was hit by the sadness in their situation. He and I were roughly the same age but, as I've been told we are all four bad decisions from homeless, he made all four of them and I had a couple more to go.

Walking the perimeter of the casino, I see an ancient Honda Civic parked slightly off the lines. In the drivers seat is a tall, skinny man, slightly hunched over smoking a butt out the window. He looks sunbaked like people do in the desert, his skin taut and leathery. Next to him is an old woman. Old like those pictures you see from Appalachia in National Geographic. She has an oxygen tube in her nose and is simply staring out the cracked windshield off into a distance I cannot fathom.

"You doing OK out here?" I ask in that managerial tone.

"Yah. We're good. Just waiting until we can get a room."

"You wanna come inside? It's, like, 112 degrees out here and I imagine your friend..."

"My mother..."

"...your mother might feel better in the air conditioning."

"Sho..."

He had an odd linguistic affectation in his speech that made him sound a bit like a child, his mouth wrapping around vowels that rounded them out. He dropped his square, got out of the creaky car, and pulled out a wheelchair that would've been at home next to the dirty doll Charleston Heston found at the climax of The Planet of the Apes.

I put them in the Sportsbook, grabbed a couple of waters for them, and spent a few minutes sleuthing their story.

TC was well-known by some of the long-term staff. He used to be a player but hit hard times a few years back. No one knew what he had done for a living or how he was surviving but the profile was of someone now homeless, living in his car and occasionally a month-long stay at the hotel attached to our casino so his mother could sleep in a bed. He still was on the free play marketing list but rarely had the dollar to activate it.

"As they continue to gamble, they become more and more emotionally and mentally dependent on gambling, with less and less control. The long-term result is a steady deterioration of the mental and physical health of both the gambler and their family." — from “When the Fun Stops” by The Nevada Council on Problem Gambling

On some fundamental Irish level, I understand this compulsion. While never much into gambling my money as I've never been heavily motivated by its acquisition, my career since college has been a series of driving along the highway at night and wondering if I could survive the impulse of just letting the steering wheel go and closing my eyes.

In ‘89, I graduated and randomly chose Chicago as my new home without the safety net of knowing anyone in Chicago, having a job or prospects, or having ever been in the city. It was the move of a gambler throwing dice to see if the come-out was a natural and betting everything he had.

I lived in my car for four months as I explored this new city and looked for gainful employment, feeding myself and gassing up my home by playing trumpet on street corners downtown.

My chosen field was that of a music teacher and I did that in the public school system on the west side for a decade. Why quit teaching after ten years? Why not? I started a non-profit comedy theater that evolved into something weird but fun. Did that for fifteen years then quit to go work for NPR. A decade later, I decided to move to Las Vegas because isn't that what the hopelessly addicted to risk do?

Debra was distraught.

“Oh my gawd,” she moaned as she pumped another $20.00 in the video poker machine. “My sister’s birthday is Wednesday and I have to pick up her cake but I don’t have the $17.00 to pay for it!”

The odd disconnect between her dilemma and the twenty she just pushed into the bill validator was obvious to me but not at all to her.

“Debra. Why not cash out that machine and use that?” I said, smiling behind my mask.

“Huh? Ah, no, no, no. This money is for poker. I can’t use it for her cake. Maybe if I win some today...”

The next day I get a phone call. It’s Debra. Can I loan her $20.00 until Thursday? I can and I do. She sends me pictures of the party, socially distanced from her garage. Thursday she swings by and palms me the twenty like it’s a tip I’m not supposed to receive.

In the ongoing search for the true American experience, it seems obvious that it exists inside the off-strip casino. A room filled with shiny lights and electronic sounds populated with every stripe from every tribe: wealthy, impoverished, black, white, brown, make, female, non-binary, old, young, fat, thin, liberal, conservative, libertarian, beautiful, homely. All in the room for exactly the same reason: a short term investment in a possible future fueled by luck and circumstance.

Everyone who walks into the casino is prepared to gamble with the currency at hand. That currency cannot be defined simply by dollars available but the intertwined filthy lucre of personality, desire, and need with need being the characteristic with the most pungent strength.

Teddy wasn’t big on chit-chat. He came to plug in the dough and whack the spin buttons with a slap. Except with me. With me, for some unexplained reason, there was small talk.

“I love to travel, Don. Have you traveled?”

“I have. Used to play jazz trumpet for a living and went all over the globe with that.”

“Where’s your favorite place?”

“Edinburgh, Scotland. Took a theater company there for a month in ‘95 and fell in love with the place.”

“Oooooh! I’ve never been there! I have a lady friend I’d like to take someplace new. What else you got on Scotland?”

I went to my office, did some online searches, and put together a PDF of prices and places in Edinburgh. I dropped it off at his machine when he was cashing in a voucher.

His reaction was effusive.

“It’s people like you that make me come here, you know? The big properties are always offering me comp rooms and meals but they can’t give me the feeling of friendship that the people here do.”

Over the course of a few months, I gleaned that Teddy had lost his wife to cancer years before and that his children would have little to do with him. He often had “lady friends” but no one consistent and most were decades younger than he. Teddy was an almost desperately lonely man and felt less so in the casino where his propensity to be a high roller made him feel like he was important.

The 1995 trip to Scotland was another improbable gamble. The small nonprofit theater company I had founded was fraying at the edges. The ensemble needed a goal to achieve and I decided that taking a show to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe with seventeen actors who had no disposable incomes to speak of was just thee thing. I cashed in my pension from the days of teaching and managed a few sponsorships.

It was both financially devastating and artistically remarkable. In the parlance of the gambling addict, it was a win. I lost my ass and gained a cherished city.

TC checked he and his mother into a room one February night a month before the place was shut down by pandemic. During the graveyard shift, his mother was picked up by paramedics and transferred to a hospital. The next day, TC was outside in the courtyard weeping as if the world had ended.

She had been misdiagnosed, given the wrong medication, and had died during the early hours of the morning. TC was filled with sadness and guilt and a sense of impotent rage so like so many on the ass end of life.

He was without options. He was unemployed and unemployable. His one lifeline was his mother both in a financial way but also in that indelible manner that having a daily task, someone to care for, gives a person distraction from the crushing despair of living.

I brought him a bottle of water and a pack of cigarettes and sat down with him for a moment during my shift.

“I don’t know.” he said unprompted after a few minutes of sitting together.

“What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know what to do. They killed my mother. They didn’t even care. When I came in to the hospital, they took me to her and she was just dead. The doctor didn’t even apologize. They wanted to know how I was going to pay for her disposal. That’s how they said it. Her disposal. I used to come here, you know? When I had money? I used to gamble and laugh. I haven’t laughed in years.”

“You did the best you could.”

“NO, I DIDN’T! I didn’t do the best I could. How do you live with yourself knowing you didn’t?”

“I don’t know.”

I think about when the fun stopped for him or if it was ever really fun at all. I wonder if those in my current position watched it happen as TC went from being someone in between Debra and Teddy and started that slide into who he was in front of me and what responsibly did they take as witness to the decline.

Does the bartender bear some accountability to the alcoholic? Does the pimp have some obligation for the john? The casino feeds off of the weaknesses of thousands who come in from out of town to throw away their disposable income on a Hennessy-soaked memory haze of unfettered vice but does it have some sort of moral obligation to the folks who live here and still cash in their downfall with such abandon?

Sometime during the re-opening of Vegas following the COVID shutdown I realized that the place was leaving a mark. Not so much a scar but a dark bruise. A wound underneath the skin and, since there was no one to hand me a pamphlet, I decided that the fun had, indeed, stopped for me.

When I announced to Debra that I was leaving the casino, that I had found work that paid more and was remote to boot, she was distraught.

“This place. We get diamonds and they leave as soon as we get used to them.”

“The West?”

“Vegas. It’s a hard place for good people to thrive. Don’t. Don’t say I’m a good person. I’m not. I try but I’m not. Vegas eats up people. It chews on their hopes and dreams and spits them back out. Oh, I’m so depressed right now.”

She pumped another twenty into the machine and continued to chase the four aces.

“Did you hate it here?”

“Vegas? No. I love it.”

“No. The West. Did you hate it here?”

“No. It’s dirty and seedy but there is a thing about places like this that resonate a tune so few can recall singing. You ever read Neil Gaiman’s ‘American Gods’? The old gods can only congregate in places of bizarre spiritual congruence like House on the Rock or Disneyland. The West is like one of those mythic, tacky places in which the old gods gather.”

“You’re so weird. This is not a spiritual place. It’s a casino.”

“One and the same, Debra.”

Teddy never went to Edinburgh as far as I know. When Vegas re-opened, he stopped coming in to play. That has been the way of things during pandemic. Those with options other than Vegas found different games of chance. I can think of a dozen regular big players whom I haven’t seen since things turned sour. Perhaps the place lost its luster when requiring masks on everyone was too much a reminder of the outside world.

A week or so before I turned in my name badge and Title 31 credentials, TC came in. I hadn’t seen him since that day in the courtyard. He was wearing new clothes. His face was fuller as if he’d somehow become hydrated and healthier. He was obviously clean and his hair had grown out and been cut.

He pulled down his mask. “Look! They’re implants!” he crowed as his brand new choppers shone in the light. “This is my wife!” and he motioned to a matronly Latina woman who seemed thrilled to meet me.

TC had sued the hospital. Vegas has a billboard for every fifty feet of highway announcing a lawyer waiting to help you cash in on tragedy and it is fitting that TC took advantage of one of them and made bank.

Like the rest of us he was simply gambling with the cards he was dealt, with the currency available to him. Will he squander it, buying pieces of hope, looking for another jackpot? Probably but that’s Vegas. That’s America, isn’t it?

The America Dream we were promised is just another handpay pot of gold to be gambled away on the promise of the next dream, so why not? How can the fun stop if it was never really fun in the first place?

#casino life

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