#even without them displaying traditional ‘romantic’ interactions

[creampuffqueen]

listen as much as i would have loved more romance in the yangchen novels i have to say it is extremely iconic of f.c yee to write a set of novels where the sapphic relationship is an undeniable, major plot point and then write another set of novels where the straight relationship is left up to interpretation

[ddarker-dreams]

How do you think genshin boys would flirt (or tried to 👀) with darling? Have good day/night and thank You!

Childe

Childe's style of flirting is being around so frequently that you cannot help but get used to his intrusive presence in your life. He has a sort of boyish charm to him, frequently making comments that are borderline obscene if you stop to think about it long enough. He somehow manages to always stop just shy of stating or doing anything too inappropriate. At every given opportunity, he speaks highly of you, even to complete strangers. He'll regale them with your exploits with an arm slung around your shoulder, stopping you from sneaking away in embarrassment. His goal is to ensure everyone knows he's infatuated with you so that even if you reject his advances, no one will be stupid enough to cross a Harbinger by trying themself.

Diluc

Diluc writes you numerous letters. It doesn't matter if he's actually in town or not, writing his thoughts down on parchment is his favored method of communication. He tends to get flustered when he's actually in your presence and fears he'll make a fool of himself. Some of the letters that you receive were actually written months prior, unbeknownst to you. Diluc tends to get so thrilled by the prospect of talking to you that he goes overboard. By the time the candle's wax is melted down to the base, he's written dozens of letters, and is self-aware enough to realize sending them all at once is a little creepy. Hence a special chest dedicated to envelops sealed with the Ragnvindr crest, all addressed to you. They're sent out in socially acceptable periods of time.

Kaeya

Kaeya doesn't see the point in tiptoeing around his attraction to you. He knows it, you know it, everyone in the general vicinity knows it. He'll go for the classic methods before he resorts to anything of more... morally dubious morality. Asking you out to dinner (always his treat), offering to walk you home, buying you bouquets and sweets. Your hesitation to accept such displays does little to deter him. The Calvary Captain's silver tongue is infamous — how he manages to do it is beyond you. He'll come up with an excuse to lean in close, then whisper amorous promises into your ear. He keeps his voice just low enough that you have no choice but to lean in so that you may hear him. He's smooth and knows how to fluster. 

Zhongli

Zhongli is interesting because he doesn't know much about mortal 'courting' in this century, so you might not even pick up on the nuances of his actions unless you have a trained eye. Your parents and grandparents are going to love him though. He picks out gifts that could be associated with amorous intentions, such as jade pendants, hairpins, and combs. He is particularly taken with the notion of giving you a comb for the cultural connotation behind it. If Zhongli is romantically interested in you, he wants your relationship to span the ages. He may or may not purposefully withhold information if you aren't from Liyue, watching with bemused eyes as you accept his gifts without giving them a second thought. He's very traditional and verbally subdued in his approach.

Albedo

Albedo's flirting is a slow buildup that by the time you realize what's happening, you feel you're in too deep to wriggle out. It'd look like you were leading him on otherwise. Similar to Diluc, Albedo writes to you, sometimes sending pressed flowers from the region he's in and always including doodles. He doesn't entirely substitute face-to-face interaction with this, however. He approaches you under the pretense of needing help with this or that — using so much jargon that you barely understand what it is you've agreed to. Next thing you know, you're camping alongside him in Dragonspine for a week. He'll even purposefully sabotage his work so that he has an excuse to keep you around longer. He's more sly than most give him credit for. Putting a hand on your back when he's walking behind you, sitting close by to help warm you up in the cold... he's got some game.

Xiao

Xiao doesn't really flirt. There are no smooth lines, teasing touches, or romantic dinners by candlelight. That isn't to say he isn't trying — Archons know he is — but his methods don't fall under the usual courting methodology. He kinda shoots himself in the foot, because he'll help you and remain out of sight while doing so. A silent and thankless guardian. He cannot count how many times he's cleared a monster-ridden path for you seconds before you arrived. Then he just kinda... looks at you expectedly from afar the next time you happen by the Wangshu Inn. You probably think he's glaring at you. Xiao can't help but feel a little gloomy you didn't somehow miraculously put two and two together. Maybe he'll give you a cool rock to get his point across next time...

Scaramouche

Actual secondhand embarrassment material. Somebody, please stop him. He just shows up uninvited, makes a big show out of how superior he is to you, then stands there expecting results. When you don't immediately swoon and throw yourself into his arms, his mood plummets for the day. He works best when he keeps his mouth shut. He'll grimace and say 'you look tired' then proceed to do all your impending work so that you can get more rest. For that reason, he's not too terrible to keep around, because your chores are always done by the time you get home (he denies involvement). Scaramouche genuinely thinks you should feel so honored that he chooses to grace you with his presence. He's divine, don't you know? He could start a religion if he cared to try. And here he is furiously throwing vegetables in a bowl to make you soup (he broke into your house to do so, just don't think about it that part too much). Dealing with him requires the patience of a saint.

Kazuha

Kazuha is another who has a way with words, though he denies this should you ever compliment him on the trait. He'll look at you with the softest eyes and say things that belong in a romance novel. Calling you his muse or things to that effect. He's so sincere that it's impossible to think it's contrived. Kazuha's flirtations feel so light and natural in the moment, it's only upon later reflection that you realize he's almost drowning you in it. The guilt really starts to pile up when your hints that you don't feel the same seem to go entirely unnoticed. You're left worrying that by entertaining him, it sends him the wrong idea, yet the thought of outright rejecting him... seems cruel. It's a dilemma he happily takes full advantage of.

[tomwambsmilk]

ur thoughts on Tom’s attraction to men?

Ohhh boy. Well. Before we can even get to things like internalized homophobia and the idealization of the “traditional” family unit and the Tom’s lifelong ambition in a highly conservative environment necessitating a certain self-image that excludes homosexuality, we have to talk about how Tom understands masculinity and, by extension, platonic interactions and relationships between men.

(I'm answering both of these anons together because they do go hand-in-hand - you can't talk about Tom's attraction to men without talking about his feelings towards Greg).

Tom’s understanding of masculinity is very much shaped by the Waystar approach to masculinity (which is representative of a wider cultural opinion, for sure, but then we start to get into certain nuances that are beside the point, so I’m just going to refer to it as the Waystar approach for now), and that understanding focuses largely on the concept of dominance. You can't really have two equal men in any kind of relationship (friendly, platonic, antagonistic - anything); one has some kind of dominance over the other, and both (if they're masculine men) are constantly seeking to gain an edge over the other.

And this extends to how they understand love and sex as well. Women are excluded from this dominance framework, with the exception of a few women who, by virtue of their competence and their ruthlessness, are really just considered to be men (eg Gerri and Cyd - and notice how both of them have names that sound masculine?). But sex still plays into it; having a lot of casual sex and seeking their own pleasure is one way men can display dominance, and they can humiliate other men by using sexually violent language towards them. Intimacy and vulnerability are exclusive to the realm of heterosexual romantic relationships, and even that has limits - take Logan himself, who allows Marcia to witness his physical vulnerability while hiding it from everyone else, but displays very little emotional intimacy with her.

One of the immediate consequences of this attitude is that genuine friendship between men cannot exist. Every 'friendship' in the show is marked by these interpersonal dynamics, which make the kind of trust and intimacy true friendships are built on impossible. And if friendship cannot exist, then romantic or sexual attraction absolutely cannot exist, except possibly as another expression of dominance (and even that would be questionable, because by expressing attraction to another person you are giving them a degree of power over you).

So do I think Tom is attracted to men? Probably. In terms of 'what do the showrunners intend', there are a few different directions they could take canon that are plausible to me - and if they chose not to acknowledge any attraction to men on Tom's part, I wouldn't necessarily consider that to be misguided or poor writing. That's mainly because I don't think Tom understands himself as being attracted to men. And how could he? He's not allowed to be, and I'm not just talking about homophobia but that entire framework of how men are supposed to relate to each other. He's 40 years old and probably worked at Waystar for 15-20 years, which means he's internalized this enough that he's viewing all of his interactions with men through this lens without consciously realizing that's what he's doing.

This is complicated even more by the fact that for Tom, physical attraction and sex are largely indivisible from emotional attraction. Tom is not someone who enjoys casual sex; I would argue that not only does he need an emotional connection, but that the emotional connection is the origin of his attraction to someone. But in a world where emotional intimacy is taboo, that attraction becomes deeply fraught. And again, Tom himself has internalized this framework; he's bought into the idea that men should want casual sex, that attraction for men should be mostly physical, and that emotional vulnerability belongs only in the sphere of heterosexual marriage. He gets a blowjob from Tabitha and goes "Threesomes, that's the dream" because that's how he thinks he should feel, and the fact that he doesn't actually feel that way means there's something wrong with him. Already the way he experiences attraction is profoundly wrong and unmasculine even before we start bringing men into it.

I know it's fun to look at the "Would you kiss me? If I asked you to? If I told you to?" scene as a declaration of repressed attraction, but... Tom has just met Greg, some kid off the street who technically is a blood Roy but whose place in the overall Roy hierarchy has yet to be established. Tom is currently at the bottom of the totem pole, and he knows that being able to place Greg under him in that hierarchy will increase his standing. "Would you kiss me?" is not an expression of attraction, it's an attempt to utilize the same sexually dominating language we see Kendall using with Lawrence Yee and Logan using with Kendall in this same episode. But it comes out horribly wrong; instead of dominating and violent, it sounds homoerotic. It unsettles Greg, for sure, but not for the reasons Tom wanted it to.

And I think that's the foundation of their relationship. Greg is the first person in the show that Tom is truly able to dominate in some way, and Tom is also a person who is absolutely starved for emotional intimacy. So it makes sense that once Tom is confident that Greg is under his thumb - which happens pretty quickly since no one else gives a shit about him - of course, Greg is going to become the outlet for Tom's complex emotions around and desires for intimacy. Of course, Tom's expressions of dominance towards Greg are going to become increasingly homoerotic. Of course, Tom's feelings towards Greg are going to start to move more and more into the realm of attraction the longer he knows Greg and the more he develops the emotional intimacy with him that he isn't allowed to develop with anyone else. And of course, when Tom finally does start to express that attraction it has to be violent. He can't just marry him but he has to castrate him too because there might be an attraction but they're also both men, and the dominance framework is inescapable.

And, of course, I don't think Tom understands his attraction to Greg as attraction proper. I think because he's not attracted to Greg in the same way he's attracted to women, he would classify his attraction to women as Attraction proper, and his attraction to Greg as something else. I don't think starting a relationship with Greg would make him realize he's attracted to men; at least as long as they're both at Waystar and in that sphere I think he'd classify it as some kind of exception that proves the rule.

Finally, I would be remiss not to mention that yet another complicating factor is that Tom is a man who's definitely idealized the "traditional" nuclear heterosexual family ideal for a very, very long time, and who considers it part and parcel with all of his other ambitions. A long-term committed relationship with another man does not fit into that image. Even if he did get to a point where he could acknowledge his attraction to men, he's going to be deeply reluctant to commit to anything real until he lets go of that ideal - which he's unlikely to do while he's at Waystar, surrounded by other people who are also committed to that ideal. And even after he leaves, he might not, if only because this is an ideal that likely pre-dates his time at Waystar, and goes all the way back to his childhood, probably, and the fact that he is attracted to women means it's not something he ever really has to give up on or re-evaluate in the same way he would if he was exclusively attracted to men.

If Tom and Greg left Waystar together, would they be able to have a healthy and functional relationship? Maybe, but it would involve deliberately unravelling a whole lot of Tom's very deeply ingrained beliefs and attitudes. If neither of them had ever gone to Waystar and met in an entirely different context? Who knows. Probably, but Tom in particular would be an entirely different person if he hadn't spent his entire professional life at Waystar. It's very fun to write the fanfic and explore the infinite possibilities out there (and btw I'm absolutely not trying to knock any of the really fabulous tomgreg aus and post-S3 tomgreg fics out there), but in terms of what we see in canon - Tom, as a character who exists in Succession, is so formed by that environment that any version of him that didn’t come up at Waystar is a fundamentally different character.

(Greg, on the other hand, has not been formed enough by Waystar to have that same kind of deeply ingrained character development. He's been shaped by it, but I think he's still elastic enough that if you remove him from the environment he'll reshape and adapt into something else. Which is why I think if a post-S3 tomgreg relationship fell apart it would be largely Tom's fault, not Greg's.)

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

This is an exceedingly random question, but it's been on my mind insomuch that I might have a fic idea stewing in my brain: do you have any thoughts on Cybertronian marriage/bonding concepts or rituals? For example, what exactly makes two people "consorts"?

Omg, I'm so excited to talk about this!! So I actually made a huge list of headcanons for bonding in TFA that I was gonna use as a reference in a fic but then I never got around to the fic. Instead, I'm just gonna toss all those rules in below because I have Some Thoughts™.

But before I get into them, I do wanna say, because TFs don't follow the same gender binary that humans do, I think bonding is seen as an act done between two bots who want to spend the rest of their existence together. There are no "roles" in a relationship, like "wife" or "husband," it is legit just "I am so madly in love with you and I want to spend every moment with you until we both die." As such, bonding for political purposes or class status isn't really a thing. The term consort really works here, since it's a gender-neutral term used to refer to the romantic companion or partner of someone.

Anyway, here's the extensive list of headcanons I threw together. I'm gonna throw a read more in there since this is super long:

You can be legally bonded without being spark bonded.

Legal bonding gives similar benefits to marriage, such as tax benefits, shared insurance, and being priority emergency contact.

Spark bonding often considered closer and more intimate but also more dangerous as when your conjunx dies you spark could go supernova and kill you as well.

As such, it's harder to break a spark bond. While not deadly, it's painful. So most will be legally bonded for a while before eventually spark bonding once their sure the relationship will last.

There are huge benefits to spark bonds though. The major one being that you can reach out through it and sort of communicate with your conjunx. You can't exchange words but you can exchange emotions and sense when they're in pain or distress. It also provides a deeper connection with the conjunx and better synchronicity with them.

Megatron actually banned spark bonds within the Decepticon army pretty early on. He didn't want two soldiers dying when one got killed.

The only exception to this rule is Strika and Lugnut, who got bonded right before the war broke out.

Pre-war bonding ceremonies could be incredibly lavish and similar to weddings with a ceremony followed by a reception and party. Traditionally everyone was expected to dress up in nice armor and decorate with jewelry and capes or robes.

Obviously, those who weren't rich often did smaller ceremonies. One major tradition among many was to get bonded in a bar.

The major acts during the ceremony is to review what was done for conjunx ritus, read vows to each other and exchange vials of innermost energon, have all guests affirm their faith and hope in the relationship, and have a third party (whether that be a higher ranking politician or a bartender) announce the bond as legitimate.

That's all for the legal aspect of bonding. Spark bonding is always done in private, away from everyone else.

Spark bonding is done by touching and merging sparks. Because of how intimate and dangerous this is, it is imperative that it be done in a safe secluded space.

Conjunx Ritus doesn't need to be performed before getting bonded, but it's expected and even concerning if you don't do it. It's like getting engaged before getting married. Not technically required, but definitely expected.

The four acts are: the Act of Intimacy, the Act of Devotion, the Act of Disclosure, and the Act of Profference. These don't have to be done in a specific order. Yeah I stole this straight from MTMTE sue me.

There also isn't really a way to indicate that someone is bonded, like a ring. External displays of bonding just aren't a thing.

That being said, I do think after starting trade routes with Earth and interacting with American culture, some form of transformation safe matching jewelry would start to get big among bonded couples.

That's all I have for now, but I am sure in the future when I incorporate these headcanons into an actual fic, I'll add more!

[yanderes-galore]

Hello! Would you be willing to do a Yan!Sun who watches Y/N receive gifts from coworkers, and copies it? Except he doesn’t just copy the idea of it, he copies the whole thing. Box, ribbon, bag, item, etc. and HATES when you get happy upon receiving anyones gifts but his.

This does sound like something Sun would do- Based on how I write the Daycare attendant this fits. Animatronic or Android, doesn't matter.

Presents

Yandere! Sun Short

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Jealousy, Manipulation, Obsession, Stealing, Clingy behavior, Stalking if you squint.

Being a bot made for children, it was not too hard to think the Daycare attendant would adapt behaviors from those around him. His tech made it so he learned behaviors from people to better interact with children. Sometimes this feature lead to some interesting results.

You were Sun's favorite person who worked at the Daycare. He'd watch everything you do when he wasn't occupied with kids. Since he dedicates most of his time to you, he learns things.

He learns what you like, how you speak, how you act, anything you display in front of him he tucks away in his memory. He's curious, like a child himself. You happen to fascinate the bot, for better or for worse.

He considers you his 'bestest friend'. He goes on and on about how well you two get along. Even when you're trying to do work....

Then Sun notices something happening with you that he learns. People give things to you at work at times. Usually for special ocassions.

The Sun bot carefully watches from a distance. You were given gifts in either a box or a bag. Then when you opened them they contained something you liked. It looked like a special form of bonding with someone to him....

Which means he wants to learn it too.

"Here you go, friend! I made it just for you~!"

You're surprised when Sun starts placing boxes on your desk while working through-out the following shifts. They seem to be reused present boxes from birthdays, his own little gift. He always watches you eagerly when you open them.

Being unable to obtain much, Sun puts whatever he can find in the boxes. Glitter glue, plushies, magents... anything he can find. The item doesn't matter too much to Sun. He's mostly after seeing you smile!

"Thanks, Sun... when'd you learn this?"

"I saw you doing it with others! It looked like a fun activity! The kids also like getting gifts!"

"Cute, Sun. I appreciate it."

He replays those words in his head religiously.... Hearing you like what he did for you makes him happy! In fact...

He wants to be the only one who makes you happy.

Sun watches the people around you closely, just in case they try to give you any more gifts. Sun also makes sure to up his amount of gifts. It begins to get overwhelming.

You notice gifts your co-workers sent you were no longer where you last put them. Completely unaware that Sun was taking them, reusing the containers for his gifts and keeping the items inside. They would be kept in his room like a hoard, preventing you from getting them.

The only gifts you deserve are his!

"You can calm down on the gifts, Sun...."

You sigh to him one day, exhausted at his new behavior.

"Why? I thought you loved my gifts! I've been getting better at it-"

"Gifts are meant for special events, Sun. Not ALL the time- Management's also getting mad...."

"Every second with you is special though! How could I not give you gifts ALL the time?"

"I love the thought, Sun. But you can tone it down a little, can't you?"

". . ."

Your pleas to have him cut this new learned behavior is tuned out. Sun refuses to give up this new tradition because you're overwhelmed. He doesn't want anyone else to make you happy like this, except him.

You don't go a second without Sun hovering around you, passing you all sorts of presents, drawings, and other gifts. He is addicted to seeing that smile of yours. Even if you're no longer smiling at his behavior-

"Are they... good enough for you?"

"Of course... what makes you say that?"

"You don't smile when I'm around-"

"It's just a lot to keep up with, Sun."

Not seeing you smile makes Sun upset. Too many gifts? There could be no such thing, right? He'd love it if you gave him as many gifts as he did you!

It just grinds his gears when he sees others make you happy. Sun feels his purpose is to keep you happy. If he gives you the most gifts, the others will stop-

Then only he makes you happy as far as he's concerned! It's just... it seems he needs to alter the way he approaches this. You don't seem to be happy.

Oh well! You'll be happy once you see this glitter glue box he made for you! He just knows it!

He loves this new tradition!

He wants to be the only one to do it for you once he perfects it!

"(Y/N)! I have a new gift!"

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 6

it’s been a hot minute! today’s commentary is about episode 1x06, A Remedy to Cure All Ills. which I re-watched more than a month ago actually, but I’ve been busy.

just some random comments and thoughts (as usual), and not an actual review or analysis.

I think this episode is extremely underrated – I loved it the first time I watched it, and I still thoroughly enjoyed it on my rewatch. yes, it’s kind of a filler episode with a very traditional Villain of the Week format – but it's a great villain.

Julian Rhind-Tutt’s performance as Edwin is great and I love a suave, smooth-talking, scheming villain as much as the next person. The way he manipulates people, never suggesting anything outright but playing on people’s fears and biases, only saying just enough to make them reach the conclusion he wants. Something very Richard III about it. Very Iago.

EDWIN: “No… I shan’t say”

Another thing I love about this episode is the rare (unique?) instance of Merlin showing his magic to another sorcerer whom he isn't suspicious of (the audience knows Edwin is the Bad Guy, of course, but at this point Merlin doesn't).

I can’t think of another moment like this in the series. Freya didn’t actually have magic. There is Gilli, but when Merlin reveals his magic to him he already knows of the boy's intention to kill Uther, and it is a last attempt to stop Gilli from committing regicide without putting him in harm’s way. Merlin's relationship with Mordred and the Druids was always complicated by prophecies and by his role as Emrys.

But there’s none of that here. Edwin tells Merlin that magic can be used for good, and that it can be ENJOYED! which is all Merlin ever wanted to hear. And it’s a bit heartbreaking to see the hope on Merlin's face, knowing all that is going to happen later in the series.

I also loved the previous interaction between Merlin and Edwin:

“It can’t explain love”!! He’s a romantic. He loves love 🥺🥺🥺

I think the writers lost sight of Edwin’s motive a bit by the time they got to the ending. He’s not content with just killing Uther, he also wants to… rule the kingdom? And he tells Merlin they can do it together? (a concept revisited in the Cornelius Sigan episode). I don't think it works well.

I think Edwin’s final evil speech would have been way more impactful if he had tried to appeal to Merlin’s empathetic side, instead of his non-existent thirst for power, and reminded him of all the suffering Uther caused and why he deserved to die. I guess that would be a moral dilemma that deserves more than a few minutes of screen time to be resolved satisfactorily, and we’re already at the end of the episode at this point.

The series does dwell on it in To Kill the King, to be fair, but I think the “why not just let Uther die?” dilemma could have been presented before then. (Merlin's momentarily hesitation at healing Uther at the end is more to do with his fear of being seen using magic by Uther than by an actual reluctance to save the king.)

Anyway. I still think this is a very good episode overall, even with its relatively weak ending.

Other random thoughts:

The random-ass reference to alchemy. Something that wasn’t elaborated on, nor ever mentioned again (??) Missed opportunity imo.

Gaius is made "a free man of Camelot", whatever that means. (Does it mean that he, like Merlin, is not from Camelot? Or is it some kind of special privilege? We don’t know. I think maybe in Love at the Time of Dragons Gaius mentions something about he and Alice coming to Camelot but I can’t remember and I can’t be bothered to check now)

Some excellent display of brotherly concern from Arthur when Morgana falls sick. He's the one pushing for Uther to call for Edwin. We love to see it

Merlin and Gaius all but call each other father and son. DON’T TOUCH ME.

Gaius was 100% ready to let Uther die if it meant saving Merlin’s life. btw.

Gaius and Uther. WHAT ARE THEY

All the heavy hints at Gaius’s acting as a Category Traitor in the Great Purge + the only instance of Gaius talking to Kilgharrah (!!!) I am obsessed with it

The paralles between Uther & Gaius and Arthur & Merlin. I feel absolutely normal about it

“Now, open your eyes, My Lord. I want my face to be the last face you ever see.” -> I don’t care if it’s cliched, this line fucks

MERLIN CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTIM, AT LAST!! I was starting to worry but finally my baby is back to killing people :)

[lilliesforya]

Gender, the beach, and a club in Tokyo

Weekend of August 26th

In Japan,  the separation of men and women based on gender is 1. really innate and 2. really prominent. Relationships between the two polarized groups are limited to romantic ones for the most part, with platonic relationships (friendships) being sparse. This is not a judgment as much as it is an observation. It’s not common to see a divide this big based on gender in America and it’s even less common to have the reason for it be explained as intrinsic to people. In the states at least, there are multiple theories surrounding gender and gender expression, one of them being “essentialism” which is basically the idea that men and women have innate/fixed/ intrinsic/ distinct qualities about them that divide them. Examples are “women are naturally better caregivers than men” or that “men are better suited for physical labor” (https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095846595)

It is not commonly believed anymore in a lot of places in America (who knows though) but a lot of the way gender is expressed in Japan strikes me as essentialist but also manages to bend the rules in a traditional sense. It is still common for women to be homemakers and be responsible for all of the duties in a home (including raising children) but nowadays they have to do this on top of usually having a job as well. Compared to what I’m used to seeing, women act much more feminine here- despite the vast differences in attire. Like women can wear traditionally masculine clothes and have short hair (in America this makes you masculine) and still be seen as women. I think this is because their identity as women is so baked into the gender of it all the presentation is not as strict. But I don't know. I don't understand enough Japanese to really know OR have a good enough knowledge on Japanese ideas of gender. Either way, it seems exhausting. I was told that men and women can’t really go out one on one without it being seen as romantic. There is a strong divide between girls and boys growing up and it doesn’t really become socially acceptable to mingle until college or right after it (when they are expected to date to get married). I feel like this can create a ‘transactional’ sort of feel in relationships between people of the opposite gender here- because they’re rarely allowed to interact simply to interact. It’s a lot to take in as someone who tries to be mindful of culture norms different from my own but is a firm believer in gender being more of a social construct and form of expression that shouldn’t limit anyone. What can you do or even say when the culture is permissible of misogyny and harmful gender norms and restrictions? I can’t think about it for too long without losing my mind a little. 

Gender, at the beach,,,, struck me in waves. I am lucky to be far enough into the countryside and close enough to popular beaches where I wasn’t the only one wearing a two piece swimsuit. The sun is unforgiving and without a friend's small umbrella, I would have been sunburnt even more than I was. And I was really sunburnt. Tops of my feet, shoulders, my face, the whole thing. The beach often makes me overstimulated. The sand everywhere, the everpresent sun, for the longest time I wore glasses and I could never see clearly. This time was no different besides me having contacts. Maybe it was that or maybe it was the being on the other side of the world with strangers who are showing me kindness or maybe both- that had me just sitting half on a blanket (that was covered in sand) and feeling that despite the sand and the sun, I liked the beach. I giggled at my friends comments and antics, I got to float around in the ocean (the waves are much calmer here). I enjoyed the day and thought the beach was where it was going to end. I had already driven the farthest I’ve driven that day and managed to find beach parking in someone's backyard (it was so New Jersey). However, that’s not where my day reached its peak. 

Some time later, but not enough time for what was about to happen, I found myself on a rapid train to Tokyo. I don’t usually do stuff like “agree to go to a club in Tokyo within hours' notice and the plan is to stay there the whole night and take the first train home”, but how could I not? I don’t see myself as a risk taker but not going would have haunted me and being haunted wins over fear. Alcohol and loud music also will take the place where anxiety is sitting. I think I’m doing a good job socializing and I was having fun (It would be clear if I wasn’t). The lights are bright and flashy in the dark room. The music is so loud and within an hour or two of arriving it becomes densely packed. I was still asked at least once an hour if I was okay or needed a break. Honestly? Fair points, I’m sure my facial expressions betray me. Plus, it feels nice to be worried over a bit. It did make me feel better when we linked hands to get through the crowds. Like our little group was not to be separated and our hands were proof! 

Women only had to pay 1000 yen to get in and got 2 free drink tickets (not the same for men,,,). I stay in the long line with my friends instead of going in through the ‘Ladies only’ one because alone I am very small and in a group I am normal sized. I get talked into putting my bag in a coin locker (good decision) but I feel naked with only my phone and wallet in my pockets. The first floor is anime music (maybe video games too I don’t know), the second floor is English pop/ party music, and the third floor is like the second floor except it’s remixed EDM. The first drink I get is fruity and I wish it was stronger. The second is way too sweet and I wish it was a vodka soda (American sized pour). The third drink is handed to me by a friend and I have no complaints (I think it’s the first one again). The men there are incredibly creepy in my opinion and their eyes are predatory before anything else. No one bothers me and the other girl I’m with much but every time someone tries, she spins me closer to her and away from the offender. The bonds between women in a club are sacred to me. It’s like even without language we all understand protecting one another from becoming prey. I think some people would interpret this attention as interest which is fine but it’s equally as interpretable as feeling hunted. I enjoy the EDM visuals on the third floor but the second floor’s music is preferable. I’m ready to leave around 4:15 am and that’s about when we head out. I have some of the best ramen I’ve ever had in a shop that we wait way too long in line for. The train ride home feels like forever. I got home around 8:45 am and slept until about 3:30 pm. The anxiety of trying is now a memory of togetherness. 

[dearestones]

Twisted Wonderland Matchup: Cater Diamond

Warnings: Fluff.

@danzalladaggers Request: Hello could I get a romantic twst matchup? I’m a bisexual, she/her pronouns. I headcanon myself in Ignihyde. For personality I’m creative, introverted, and individualistic. Though I’m introverted, around my friends I can be quite talkative, humorous and outgoing. However I definitely treasure my alone time the most. My interests are digital art focused. I’m currently in art school working with both digital mediums. I love my practice and everything from interaction design/coding to 3D Modeling to video/film to video game design to digital illustration. I do work in some traditional mediums like graphite and ink. As for hobbies escaping to new worlds while reading books/comics, watching movies, and playing rpg video games. My favorite genres are fantasy and sci-fi. I also love working out. Likes: coffee, chai tea, dark chocolate, rock/blues/jazz/indie music, cafe art shows, arcades, comic book stores, roller blading to classic rock, quality alone time. Dislikes: people i am unfamiliar with and have to make small talk with, the biting cold, rain, non fiction, staying too close to reality and not being allowed to daydream/roam freely in my thoughts, too much physical touch, overly crowded areas. Thank you!

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After going through the description given, I believe that you best pair well with Cater Diamond!

Even though you have many of the characteristics of an Ignihyde student, that doesn’t stop Cater from pursuing you. You might think that he wants to initiate a romantic relationship with you because it’ll make himself more approachable and trendy on Magicam, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth! Sure, he’ll want to take you out on cute dates and post pictures of the both of you looking adorable and romantic (with your permission), but it’s because he’s truly into you!

He may seem like a vivacious character on paper, but to be honest, he’s actually pretty introverted on the inside. Because most of his time is spent trying to please others and create an image of himself that is dissimilar to who he is on the inside, it’s no wonder that all he wants to do is find a person that he can be with if only to relax. 

With you, he feels like he can truly be himself. Not Magicam Cater. Not photogenic Cater. Just himself as Cater Diamond. When you go out on fancy dates to popular cafes in town or just hanging out in the dorm, you’ll find that his personality is somewhat muted compared to his much lighter and vibrant tones that he would often display on screen. Here, you’ll find that his smiles are softer, smaller, but they are so much more genuine. 

Even when the both of you go on certain dates that you think are only used as a ploy to get more followers and interactions on Magicam, his eyes are usually on you. His phone will always be poised for great pictures of you, both candid and posed. If you’re more on the shy side, he’ll back off from taking photos without your permission and he’ll double check if you want them posted. However, if you want to flaunt your style, not only will he trust you to take great photos of the both of you, he’ll also give you free reign to add filters and tags without any supervision!

Creativity and good humor go well in hand! It’s one of the things that attracted him in the first place. He’ll use those traits of yours to enhance his posts—actually, can you please update his tags so that they seem cute, but not cringy? He doesn’t want to let his adoring audience think that he’s lost his magic touch. 

Don’t worry if you think Cater can be overbearing at times. There are times when he can be self-aware that his overabundance of appearing trendy to the masses can be off putting to some people, but sometimes you need to tell him that you need room to breathe. At first, he’ll feel guilty for intruding in your personal space and taking too much of your time, but later on he will understand. There are times when he wants to be alone as well, it’s just that he forgets sometimes that spending time alone can be something that can be done without remorse or regret. 

Oooohhh, and you’re such a talented artist! Please, please, please, pretty please can he showcase some of your art on his Magicam? If not, he’ll try to convince you to make your own account so that you can show off your skills to the rest of the world! If you’re worried about not reaching a big enough audience, his social media handle will be more than enough of an impetus for people to start following you. 

(But mostly, he wants to watch you sketch in whatever medium you find the most comfortable. No time lapse videos, no pictures of your progress. All he wants to do is simply be with you, to be a part of the process even if he is just a spectator).

Cater loves skateboarding and you love rollerblading. Can he call this a match made in heaven? Pictures and videos are a definite must! Seriously, people would eat up such quality content of an influencer hanging out with his partner on their respective choices of cool transportation. And besides, instead of simply walking to dates, you can race each other to the arcade, cafes, or whatever worthwhile place you want to visit. 

As for your dislikes, after you’ve made your displeasure clear about certain things that he might have done (like too much physical contact and crowded areas), he’ll make sure to seek your permission first before breaching your boundaries. Again, he can be a bit much at times, and perhaps somewhat socially unaware when it comes to his personal relationships with others, but when it comes to you, he has his heart in the right place. He would love to hold your hand from time to time, though, so be on the lookout if he wants to intertwine your fingers together. (Don’t worry, it’s not for any photos). 

From what I can tell, Cater is a complex character that needs to be challenged by someone who is well aware of their boundaries and is willing to put him in his place if he gets too much. However, his needs for stimulation and need for validation from his followers will introduce you to a more spontaneous and fun loving lifestyle. Embrace it! Just like you would with Cater. 

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

TWISTED WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

[vishal-garg]

A Charming Escape: Exploring the Village Theme Park in Gurgaon

Gurgaon, a bustling city known for its modernity and urban lifestyle, also offers a delightful escape for those seeking a taste of rural India. The Village Theme Park in Gurgaon, a hidden gem, offers a unique opportunity to immerse yourself in the traditional charm and culture of a village. In this article, we'll take you on a virtual tour of this enchanting attraction, highlighting what makes it a must-visit destination.

Embracing Rural India:

The Village Theme Park in Gurgaon is a one-of-a-kind destination designed to showcase the essence of rural India. It's a place where city dwellers and tourists can experience the warmth, traditions, and simple joys of village life without venturing far from the city.

Key Attractions:

1. Rural Architecture: The park boasts traditional village architecture with mud huts, thatched roofs, and authentic design elements that transport you to a bygone era. It's a perfect setting for a day of exploration.

2. Cultural Experiences: Visitors can participate in cultural activities like pottery making, cooking traditional dishes, or trying their hand at traditional farming. These immersive experiences allow you to connect with the rich heritage of rural India.

3. Art and Craft: The Village Theme Park showcases a vibrant display of local art and crafts, allowing you to appreciate the artistic talents of rural artisans. You can even purchase unique handmade souvenirs to take home.

4. Cattle and Farm Animals: The park features cattle and farm animals, giving you a chance to interact with them. It's a delightful experience for both children and adults.

5. Folk Performances: Enjoy folk music and dance performances that encapsulate the cultural diversity and vibrancy of rural India. These shows are not only entertaining but also educational.

A Culinary Journey:

The Village Theme Park in Gurgaon offers an array of delectable culinary delights. Visitors can savor traditional Indian dishes prepared with farm-fresh ingredients. From lip-smacking curries to delicious sweets, the food here is an essential part of the experience.

Perfect for All Ages:

This charming village-themed park is an ideal destination for families, couples, and solo travelers. It provides an educational and entertaining experience for children and offers a tranquil and romantic escape for couples.

Conclusion: The Village Theme Park in Gurgaon is a delightful departure from the usual city life, providing a taste of rural India's culture and traditions. Whether you're seeking an educational outing, a fun family day, or a romantic escape, this park has something to offer everyone. Don't miss the chance to immerse yourself in the simplicity and beauty of village life right in the heart of Gurgaon. It's an experience you'll cherish for years to come

[voidselfshipp]

It honestly bothers me so much that ppl in fandoms are so obsessed with shipping characters.

Like,the first episode of candela//obscura came out and people were already shipping Marion and sean cuz they had really soft camraderie "ive known you since we were kids and we survived the horrors of war" moments And just because sean held Marion while he was having a breakdown people were like "omgg they gon kiss"

no, its not how it works. Its a healthy male friendshipp. Its the deep Bond of platonic love. People whom have helped you thru the worst of times.

If you ask for good friendshipps and then shipp them left and right then its not USEFUL.

Personally, platonic love has given me much more than the few romantic relationshipps ive had.

It bothers me so much.

Like yeah i can just block the tags, but I think theres a major issue with people insisting on shipping characters! Its reducing the complexity of humans bonds to "haha kiss n bone".

Platonic and familial love (found family or blood relatives) IS SO SO IMPORTANT TO US HUMANS. we form a safety net, we choose people that we know Will stand with us even when the odds are awful.

Friendshipp is so important, and showing people (especially cis men) that they can be close and vulnerable without taking away their masculinity (or perceived as gay,which is a major no no to insecure men who were raised in a "traditional" way) is also so important! It would help a lot with the way we as people Bond w eachother.

Fiction affects reality,which is why we gotta be carefull.

Shipping Is fine,but I dont think your first instinct should be shipping 2 characters (or more)cuz they display a close vulnerable Bond w eachother. Dont take away from the beautiful experience of friendshipp.

Plus, it takes away from other arcs And aspects of a story because when you take all the ways that humans interact w eachother and reduce them to one variable (example, romantic love) you also take away the nuances And minutia of the story.

Anyway. This is my take. Reblogs are okay but discourse isnt,this is MY TAKE. Yall can do what you want in your experience w fandom. Dont come @ me.

[xaharadesert]

Supposedly Mute MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6) x MC

A/N: this one is for @dontmindthissimp, who requested an MC who was too shy to speak for a long time when they first met their LI, so their LI assumes they were mute. These headcanons are the LIs reactions to hearing MC whisper “I love you” in their ear for the first time. Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes :) requests are open!

❤️Julian❤️

When he had first met you, and assumed you were mute, he didn’t mind at all

He was perfectly content to fill the silence with tales of his own adventures

As someone who was pretty friendly to almost everyone, but struggled to foster more meaningful relationships, you seemed perfect to him

He felt a bit protective of you, seeing as you were supposedly incapable of speaking up for yourself, so he made it his personal mission to make sure you felt comfortable and safe no matter where you were

This meant sticking by your side for extended periods of time, which inadvertently endeared you to him

He didn’t even realize he was falling in love until it was too late

And the first time you leaned in close and whisper “I love you” into his ear?

He nearly cried

Actually, he did cry, but he denied it afterward

Even after he learns that you can speak, he never pressures you to do so

He has no problem accommodating so that you’re more comfortable

He feels like when you do speak, the words matter even more, and he holds them close to his heart

🧡Portia🧡

At first she’s not really sure how to react to you never speaking

She reflects the energy she receives from others, usually verbally, so it takes her a while to figure out the best way to interact with you

But eventually she figures out the best way to find the energy she craves is laughter

Telling jokes and hearing your laugh, or even just watching your shoulders shake silently in what she knows is delight is one of her favourite things to do with you

While she was initially put off by the fact that she would never be able to learn about you in the most traditional way— listening had always been a great skill of hers, especially when collecting secrets— she adapts to learning about you however is most convenient

Her movements become more expressive the more time she spends with you, subtly encouraging you do to the same

Whenever you come out of your shell and seem genuinely excited or passionate about something, she tears up in joy

And the first time you told her you loved her, she quite literally screamed in excitement

She had always assumed you were mute, so it was a delightful surprise to discover you could express yourself even more than she initially thought

She continues to encourage you to speak up and express yourself however you’re most comfortable, but she’s always overjoyed when your true emotions shine through in a burst of energetic emotion

💛Lucio💛

Honestly, at first he doesn’t even notice that you’re not speaking for any reason other than being in complete awe of his amazingness

He prattles on about himself for so long and with any breaks that it would be hard for even the most verbose of individuals to get a word in edgewise

When he eventually stops to ask for your praise opinion on something, he finally notices

He doesn’t take it harshly though, in fact, he’s delighted to have someone to listen to him without interruption

If you feel uncomfortable in his presence at first, he won’t even notice, he’s already decided that you’re his new favourite person, so you’ll be together forever (platonically, romantically, or otherwise, he hadn’t really thought it through at that point, he just knew that there was no way he would let you go)

Since you can’t verbally tell him about yourself, he insists to participate in all of your hobbies so he can learn about what kind of person you are

And then, of course, he’ll brag about you to literally everyone he meets

Especially if you’re the kind of person to create tangible objects he can display

When you eventually work up the courage to tell him you love him out loud, he spends the next week claiming that your love for him was so great that you managed to overcome a lifetime of silence

Which isn’t exactly true, but you’ll definitely be wounding his ego if you tell him otherwise, so it’s up to you what you do next :)

💚Muriel💚

He’s completely comfortable with your silence, and honestly somewhat relieved

He spends most of his time in quiet, peaceful environments, so your presence in his life isn’t as intrusive as most people’s

To be perfectly honest, he doesn’t really like speaking if he doesn’t have to, so your relationship is mostly built from actions of love and care

You two will go days at a time without either of you saying anything, but you’ll never have a single reason to doubt his love

Inanna is usually the loudest one in the house

Your silence helps him open up in his own time about himself, and he greatly appreciates that you keep your judgement to yourself

He likes to learn about you in return by observing your actions and how you interact with the world around you

If you ever feel comfortable verbalizing your love, just know that you’re the first out of the two of you, but he would be quick to state the same

He’s not completely surprised that you could talk all along and chose not too— he’s almost the same

If you want to start talking more, he doesn’t mind; he’s used to you, and no matter how you grow and change as a person, you’ll always have a place in his life

💙Asra💙

He doesn’t mind, considering Muriel doesn’t really talk much either

He always ensures he’s considerate of your feelings even though you can’t verbally express your discomfort

Often he’ll stop what he’s doing or saying and ask if you’re comfortable with what’s going on so you can nod or shake your head no

As someone who’s naturally charismatic, it’s hard not to feel comfortable around him

He can tell that you’re a bit shy, although he doesn’t automatically connect it to your lack of speech

He’s very gentle with you, and tries to slowly help you out of your shell

Whenever you seem particularly excited about something, he does his best to encourage it and reflect the same energy back at you

He’s never judgemental, and will stand up for you when you’re struggling with something

And when you finally tell him you love him, the bright smile you receive in return could outshine the sun

Of course he loves you back; he always says so, and had begun to do so long before you were ready to return the words

He had never expected anything more from you than what you were comfortable with, and seeing you push yourself past your comfort zone for him was a moment he will cherish forever

💜Nadia💜

She’s a bit wary of your silence at first

Not because she has anything against people who don’t speak; she was just a bit worried as to what you could potentially be hiding

Once she gets to know you better, she warms up to you quickly

She realizes that your actions demonstrate your honesty and character better than words ever could

She finds it admirable that you can express yourself and live your life in a way that makes you comfortable, even if some would find it odd

When she feels stressed, spending time with you is one of her favourite ways to relax

After listening to her courtiers prattle on and on about politics that were really nothing but mindless fluff, it’s refreshing to be with someone who only existed as their own pure being

When you finally decide to speak and tell her you love her, she marks it in her mind as a monumental moment

Everything you say from then on is taken into careful consideration; you’re silence had added value to your words, and she would never take them lightly

If you choose not to speak in the presence of others, she’s completely understanding, although she’ll guiltily admit that she enjoys being the one you feel most comfortable with

[potteresque-ire]

More ask answer about Word of Honour (山河令, WoH) and the so-called “Dangai 101 phenomenon” under the cut ~ with all the M/M relationships shown on screen, does it mean improved acceptance / safety for the c-queer community?

Due to its length (sorry!), I’ve divided the answer into 3 parts: 1) Background 2) Excerpts from the op-eds 3) Thoughts This post is PART 1 ❤️. As usual, please consider the opinions expressed as your local friendly fandomer sharing what they’ve learned, and should, in no ways, be viewed as necessarily true. :)

(TW: homophobic, hateful speech quoted)

After WoH had started airing, I had waited for one of China’s state-controlled media to publish opinion pieces about the show. Specifically, I’d like to know ~ what is the administration’s current take on Dangai  (耽改), as a genre? How does it characterise the closeness of the same-sex leads—the closeness that is suppressed when the original IP, of the genre Danmei (耽美) was converted for visual media presentation?

This is important, as China is a country where the government’s attitude becomes the official public attitude. The state opinion pieces will be quoted and parroted, especially if they come from heavy-weight sources (state-controlled media also have their importance/influence hierarchy). Production of the upcoming Dangai dramas will adjust their scripts accordingly. Marketing tactics will also adjust, make sure it doesn’t spread “the wrong message”; Dangai and Danmei dramas have both been pulled off shelves during or immediately after its airing before (Addicted 上癮 and Guardian 鎮魂, respectively), despite having already passing the censorship board.

If a heavy-weight state opinion piece pans the one-lead-fawning-over-the-other scenes in WoH (there are a few of them), for example, scenes / lines of such suggestive nature will likely disappear from the upcoming Dangai dramas for at least a year or two. If the critique spills over to a harsh stance against the presence of queers in Chinese media, all future Dangai dramas can become strict “socialist-brotherhood” stories, their “no homo” message reinforced by, for example, by inserting a female lead (or changing one of the leads to female).

Whether the official public opinion equates the true public opinion or not, public behaviour in China is quickly driven by the official public opinion. Example: the Xi regime’s conservative stance on queer issues has already translated to a quick deterioration of queer tolerance in China; open expressions that were tolerated, even welcomed, just several years ago are now met with significant hostility in the public.

This is a reflection of the nature of their government. A quick thought experiment may explain this. Take … jaywalking. It’s probably fair to say we’ve all committed this “crime” before?

Will you still jaywalk if your government declares it immoral to do so? Where I am, in the United States, the answer is definitely a no. The public will probably laugh at (and make memes about) the poor official who made the declaration, kindly ask the government to do something useful for once (f*** off), and keep jaywalking.

Now, what if the declaration comes with a law that includes a one-year prison term + lifelong criminal record for jaywalking? Let’s say this law is fully executable and irreversible, given this being a thought experiment—nothing you, or the public, can say or do can contest it.

Will you still jaywalk, even if you disagree with government’s stance that the act is immoral? You’ve got a neighbour who continues to defy the law. Will you think twice before letting your young loved ones go out with them?

Very soon, jaywalking becomes “bad”—even though such “badness” had little moral basis at its origin. It is bad because the government has “characterised” it to be so—an authoritarian government that doesn’t allow challenge of the characterisation.

The retention of queer elements in Dangai is the jaywalking in the example. The Chinese government stepping in to characterise (定性) an event, a phenomenon etc is common, and the people know the drill well that they fall in line quickly.  

If a powerful state-controlled media publish a negative opinion piece on the queer elements in Dangai / Danmei, therefore, those elements can disappear overnight.

My question had been: will the state do it? The Xi regime has made its distaste for LGBT+ representation in visual media abundantly clear with its NRTA directives. However, while the Chinese government typically puts ideology (意識型態) as its Guiding Principle, exceptions have always been made for one reason. One word.

Money.

TU is a legendary financial success story every production company (Tencent itself included) wants to replicate. As a result, there are ~ 60 Danmei IPs (book canon) with their copyright sold for Dangai dramas; this long line of Danmei dramas in the horizon has been nicknamed “Dangai 101”, after the name of the show “Produce 101” Dd was dance instructor in. These dramas are all competing to be the next TU by profit.

Adoration from fans is nice, but money is what matters.

C-ent is currently in a financial bleak winter. The anti-corruption, anti-tax-fraud campaign started by the Xi regime in 2018, which cumulated to a sudden (and unofficial) collection of 3 years of back-taxes from studios and stars, has drained a significant amount of its capital; the number of new TV dramas being filmed fell 45% between 2018 and 2019, and production companies have been closing by the tens of thousands. The tightening of censorship rules also means production is associated with more risk. The commercial sector outside c-ent is also eager for replications of TU’s success—they need more “top traffic” (頂流) idols like Gg and Dd whose fans are sufficiently devoted to drive the sales of their products. Such “fan economy” would benefit the government, even if it doesn’t have direct stakes in the companies in and outside c-ent. People’s Daily, the Official State Newspaper, previously published a positive opinion piece on fan economy in 2019, estimating its worth at 90 billion RMB (~13.7 billion USD) per year.

But if the state allows the queer elements in Dangai’s to pass the censorship board (NRTA) for profit, how can it do so with the current “No homo” directive in place? From previous experience (scarce as it may be), the queerness has to be sufficiently obvious for the shows to make the profit everyone is wishing for. Dangai dramas in which the leads’ romantic relationship remains subtle have not sold the way TU does, even if they are well-reviewed and feature famous, skilled actors (as Winter Begonia 鬓边不是海棠红 last year.)

NRTA, and the government behind it, can’t just say I’m turning a blind eye to the flirting and touching for the money. What can it say then?

Here’s what I’d thought—what it can say, or do, is to “characterise” these Dangai dramas in a way that leave out its queerness. It did so for TU. TU’s review by the overseas version of People’s Daily devoted a grand total of two characters to describe WWX and LWJ’s relationship—摯友 (“close friend”). The rest of the article was devoted to the drama’s aesthetics, its cultural roots. (The title of the article: 《陳情令》：書寫國風之美 Chen Qing Ling: Writing the Beauty of National Customs).

How could it do that? The State’s power ensuring few questioning voices aside, I’ve been also thinking about the history and definition of Danmei (耽美)—Dangai’s parent genre as the causes. Based on the history and definition, I can think of 3 ways the queer elements in Danmei (耽美) can be characterised by the state, 2 of which provide it with the wiggle room, the movable goalposts it needs should it choose to want to overlook the queerness in Dangai.

The 3 characterisations I’ve thought of, based on the history and definition of Danmei (耽美) are:

1) The queer characterisation, which focuses on its homoerotic element. * Summary of the characterization: Danmei is gay.

2) The “traditional BL” characterisation, which focuses on BL’s historic origin as a “by women, for women” genre. The M/M setup is viewed as an escapist protest against the patriarchy, a rejection of traditional gender roles; displays of M/M closeness are often “candies” for the female gaze. * Summary of the characterization: Danmei is women’s fantasy.

3) The aesthetic characterisation, which focuses on beauty—from the beauty of the characters, the beauty of a world without harm to the romance. * Summary for the characterization: Danmei is pretty.

The queer characterisation (1) is well-understood, and likely the default characterisation if it is to be made by the fraction of i-fandom I’m familiar with. Most i-fans I’ve met, myself included, would likely and automatically associate the M/M relationships in The Untamed  (TU) and WoH with queerness.

The “traditional BL” characterisation (2), meanwhile, equates Danmei with BL as the genre of homoerotic works developed in 1970’s Japan for women comic readers, and has been widely interpreted from a feminist point of view.

Under such interpretation of “traditional BL” works, the double male lead setup wasn’t meant to be an accurate depiction of homosexuality. It wasn’t about homosexuality at all. Rather, it was about the removal of women and along with it, the rage, the eye-rolling, the unease women readers had often felt when attempting to interact with mainstream romance novels of the time, in which the female leads had mostly been confined to traditional women roles, and their virtue, their traditional feminine traits.

The M/M setup therefore acted as a “shell” for a het relationship that allowed removal of such social constraints placed on women. The lead with whom the woman audience identified was no longer bound to the traditional role of women, such as being the caregiver of the family. The lead could instead chase their dreams and roam the world, as many contemporary women already did or aspired to do; they were no longer limited to playing the passive party in life and in the relationship—and they enjoyed such freedom without risking the love, the respect the other male protagonist felt for them.

BL, in this traditional sense, has therefore been interpreted as an answer for, and a protest against the heteropatriarchal gender norm still dominant in societies deeply influenced by Confucianism, including Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, China. The M/M setup is, at heart, (het) women’s fantasy. The inclusion of two young-and-beautiful male leads also satisfy “the female gaze” ~ the popularity of BL among het women has therefore been compared to the popularity of lesbian porn among het men. In both cases, the audience is drawn not for the homosexual element but by the presence of double doses of sexual attraction.

(Please forgive me if any of my wording comes as disrespectful! I’m not used to talking about these topics.)

The availability of the “traditional BL” characterisation (2) is key to bypassing queerness as a topic in the discussions of Danmei (耽美).

The aesthetic characterisation (3) is very closely related to 2) in origin, but deserves its own point as a characterisation that can stand on its own, and may be more obscure to the English-speaking fandom given the common English translation of Danmei (耽美) as Boy’s Love.

Boy’s Love, as a name, amplifies the queer characterisation (1) and de-emphasises the aesthetic characterisation (3); Danmei (耽美), meanwhile, does the reverse.

Where does the name Danmei come from?

When BL was first developed in Japan, it used to have a now out-of-fashion genre name: Tanbi. Tanbi was borrowed from same name describing a late 19th century / early 20th century Japanese literary movement, known as Tanbi-ha and was inspired by Aestheticism in England. Aestheticism “centered around the doctrine that art exists for the sake of its beauty alone, and that it need serve no political, didactic, or other purpose”. Along the same line, the core belief of authors of Tanbi-ha was that art should celebrate beauty and reject the portrayal of ugliness in human nature, the darkness of reality:

…Tanbi writers argued that the ideas of naturalism writers such as “objectivism,” “truth is more important than beauty” and so on would “oppress human beings’ desire” so as to “lose beauty and human nature.” Accordingly, they insisted on “acute mental and emotional sensibility” [Ye, 2009].

(Source, with more details on Tanbi.)

Neither romance nor homosexuality were requirements for works in the original Tanbi-ha genre. BL borrowed the name Tanbi because its early authors saw their work created under the same principles: the emphasis on the beauty of their characters, their love (romantic and platonic), in a world that was also beautiful and untouched by ugliness such as sexism and homophobia.

The stubborn persistence on keeping one’s eyes trained on the beautiful, the willingness to turn a blind eye to reality for the sake of the beauty is built-in in the genre’s name. Tanbi  meant more than beauty, aesthetics; its kanji form was written as 耽美;  耽 = to sink, drown in, to  over-indulge in; 美 =  beauty.

Tanbi, therefore, literally means to drown in, to over-indulge in beauty.

Over time, as the genre expanded its writing style, Tanbi eventually fell out of favour as BL’s genre name in Japan. However, as it gained popularity in the Sinosphere in the 1990s, starting with Taiwan and Hong Kong, the kanji of Tanbi was retained as the Chinese name of the genre.

In Mandarin Chinese, 耽美 is pronounced Danmei. A hyperfocus on the aesthetics, the utopian aspects of traditional BL is therefore retained in Danmei by its name. People’s Daily could therefore devote its review of TU on its aesthetics. Realism, including politics and all discussions of social issues, can therefore be swept aside in the name of respecting the genre’s tradition.

I’ve mostly been reading about and observing c-fandom, and I believe these 3 characterisations have all attracted its own kind of fans. Fans who care and talk about queer issues even when it isn’t encouraged by their sociopolitical environment, who shine a light upon these issues in their fan works. Fans who treat the M/M leads as if they were a traditional cishet couple, such as calling one of the leads 老婆 (wife) and assigning him biologically female functions when needed (via, for example, the ABO trope). Fans who insist the works must meet their beauty standards, rejecting those that fail (for example, if the leads are not good looking enough) by claiming they’re there for Danmei, not Danchou (耽醜, “over-indulgence on ugliness”). Fans who are drawn to the genre by a combination of these characterisations.

By the history and definition of the genre, all the above reasons for fanning Danmei are as valid, as legitimate as one another.

I thought about this related question then: are c-fans of the second (traditional BL characterisation) and third (aesthetic characterisation) groups homophobic? When I first asked this question, I—a fan whose fandom experience had been entirely in English-speaking communities—assume the answer was yes. I thought, in particular, the insistence of treating Danmei’s M/M couples as cishet couples in a homosexual shell had to be conscious queer erasure. How can anyone ignore the same-sexness of the leads? How can anyone talk about Danmei without associating it with homosexuality?

However, as I read more—again, specifically about c-fandom, and in Chinese—I realised the answer may be a little more complex.

Previously, I had largely thought about homophobia in terms of individual attitudes. This has to do with my current environment (liberal parts of the United States), in which the choice to accept or reject the queer community has become a close to personal choice. Pride flags fly all over the city, including the city hall, every summer, and most churches welcome the LGBT+ community. I hadn’t considered how an environment in which queers have never enjoyed full social exposure, in which education of related topics is sorely lacking, would affect Danmei’s development as a genre.

In such an environment, it is difficult for Danmei to evolve and incorporate up-to-date understanding of RL queerness.

The consequence I can see is this: Danmei is more likely to be “stuck” in its historical characterisation as (het) women’s fantasy inside than outside the Great Firewall, with its queerness de-emphasised if not erased—and it draws fans who are attracted to this kind of characterisation accordingly. This is, perhaps, reflected by the fact that the (het) women-to-queer ratio of Danmei / BL fans is significantly higher in China than in the West (Table 1 in this article summarises how Danmei / BL fans have split between different genders and sexual orientation in the Sinosphere vs the West in different research studies).

Another driving force I can see for Danmei to retain BL’s traditional feminist and aesthetic characterisations: women in China are not free from the social pressure that led to the birth of BL in 1970’s Japan. While many of them have achieved financial freedom through work and have high education, the young and educated have been subjected to immense pressure to get married and have children especially in the past decade.

In 2007, the China’s state feminist agency, the All-China Women’s Federation (中華全國婦女聯合會), coined the term 剩女 (literally, “leftover women”) for unmarried, urban women over 27 years old. The government started a campaign that, among other things, associated women’s education level with ugliness, and their unmarried status with pickiness, moral degeneracy. The reason behind the campaign: birth rates are plummeting and the state wants educated women, in particular, to nurture a high quality, next generation workforce. More importantly, the government sees a threat in the M/F sex imbalance (high M, low F) that has commonly been attributed to the country’s “one child policy” between 1979-2015, which encouraged female infanticide / abortion of female foetuses in a culture that favours surname-carrying boys. The state fears the unmarried men will become violent and/or gay, leading to “social instability and insecurity”. Therefore, it wants all women, in particular those who are educated, to enter the “wife pool” for these unmarried men. (Source 1, Source 2: Source 2 is a short, recommended read).

For Chinese women, therefore, patriarchy and sexism is far from over. Escapist fantasies where sexism is removed—by removing women from the picture—are therefore here to stay.

Danmei is therefore not queer literature (同志文學). The difference between Danmei and queer literature is highlighted by this reportedly popular saying (and its similar variations) in some Danmei communities:

異性戀只是傳宗接代，同性戀才是真愛 Heterosexuality is only for reproduction. Only homosexuality is true love.

The attitude towards heterosexuality is one of distaste, viewed as a means to an end the speaker has no interest in. On the contrary, homosexuality is idealised, reflecting the disregard / lack of understanding of some Danmei fans have towards the RL hardships of c-queers. The ignorance may be further propagated by gate-keeping by some Danmei fans for safety reasons, keeping queer discussions away from their communities for fear that their favourite hangouts would meet the same uncertain fate of other communities that previously held open queer discussions, such as the Weibo gay and lesbian supertopics. Such gatekeeping can, again, be easily enforced using tradition as argument: the beauty 美 is Tanbi and Danmei (耽美), remember, includes the beauty of utopia, where ugly truths such as discrimination do not enter the picture. A Danmei that explores, for example, the difficulty of coming out of the closet is no longer Danmei, by its historical, aesthetic definition.

[I’ve therefore read about c-queers viewing Danmei with suspicion, if not downright hostility; they believe the genre, by ignoring their RL challenges and casting them as beautiful, even perfect individuals, and in some cases, by fetishising them and their relationships, only leads to more misconceptions about the queer community. Dangai, meanwhile, has been viewed with even more distaste as potential weapons by the state to keep gays in the closet; if the government can shove the Danmei characters into the “socialist brotherhood” closet, it can shove them as well.

I haven’t yet, however, been able to tease out the approximate fraction of c-queers whose views of Danmei and Dangai is negative. The opposing, positive view of the genres is this: they still provide LGBT+ visibility, which is better than none and it would’ve been close to none without Danmei and Dangai; while Danmei may skim over the hardships of being queer, fan works of Danmei are free to explore them—and they have.

This article provides insights on this issue. @peekbackstage’s conversation with a Chinese film/TV director in Clubhouse is also well worth a read.]

That said, Danmei can only be dissociated from the queer characterisation if there’s a way to talk about the genre without evoking words and phrases that suggest homosexuality—something that is difficult to do with English. Is there?

In Chinese, I’d venture to say … almost. There’s almost a way. Close enough to pass.

The fact that M/M in traditional BL has been developed and viewed not as queer but as a removal of F also means this: queerness isn’t “built-in” into the language of Danmei. The name Danmei itself already bypasses a major “queer checkpoint”: it’s impossible to refer to a genre called Boy’s Love and not think about homosexuality.

Here’s one more important example of such bypass. Please let me, as an excuse to put these beautiful smiles in my blog, show this classic moment from TU; this can be any gif in which the leads are performing such suggestive romantic gestures:

How can I describe this succinctly? In English?

Two men acting in love? Er. That’s… the definition of gay, almost.

Two men acting gay? Well. GAY.

Right. Fine. Let’s go negative. Queerbaiting? … Still gay, because the word “queer” is in there.

[Pie note: for the record, I don’t think TU or WoH is queer-baiting.]

Personally, I find it impossible to describe the GIF above in English that I do not automatically associate with RL romantic love between two men, with homosexuality. But can I do it in Chinese?

… Yes.

There’s a term, 賣腐 (pronounced “maifu”), literally, “selling 賣 the rot 腐”, derived from the term known among i-fans as fujoshi and written, in kanji, as 腐女. Fujoshi, or 腐 (“rot”) 女 (“women”), describes the largely (het) female audience of the Japanese BL genre (>80%, according to Wikipedia). Originated as a misogynistic insult towards female Japanese BL fans in the 2000s, fujoshi was later reclaimed by the same female BL fans who now use the self-depreciative term as acknowledgement of their interest being “rotten”, for BL’s disregard of the society’s traditional expectations on women.

賣腐 is therefore to “sell the rot” to the rotten women; ie. the suggestive romantic gestures, exemplified by the GIF above, between the M/M leads are catering, performing fan service to their target audience.

[賣腐 is also a term one will see in the state opinion pieces.]

There’s nothing gay about this term.

I’ve therefore found it possible to talk and think in Chinese about Danmei while giving little thought to queerness. The history and definition of Danmei allow that.

Again, I’m not saying any of this to excuse homophobia among in Danmei and Dangai fandoms. The point I’m trying to make is this — given that Danmei has three potential characterisations, two of which can be discussed without abundantly evoking queer concepts and vocabularies, given that history of Danmei, as a genre, already favoured characterisation 2 (traditional BL), the government addressing homosexuality in its opinions on Danmei and Dangai is far from a given.

By extension, the popularity of Dangai may mean a lot or little to c-queers; by extension, the state can approve / disapprove of Danmei and Dangai in a manner independent of its stance on homosexuality, which is itself inconsistent and at times, logic-deying (example to come…).

This is both good and bad, from the perspective of both the government and the c-queer community.

For the government: as discussed, the “triality” of Danmei allows the state to “move the goalpost” depending on what it tries to achieve. It has characterisations 2 (the traditional BL characterisation) and 3 (the aesthetic characterisation) as excuses to let Dangai dramas pass the censorship board should it want their profit and also, their promise of expanding the country’s soft power overseas by drawing an international audience. These characterisations also allow the state to throw cold water on the popularity of Danmei / Dangai should it desire, for reasons other than its queer suggestions—despite the Xi regime’s push against open expressions of queerness (including by activism, in media), it has also been careful about not demonising c-queers in words, and has countered other people’s attempts to do so.

Why may the government want to throw cold water on Danmei and Dangai? They are still subculture, which the state has also viewed with suspicion. In 2018, a NRTA directive explicitly requested that “c-ent programmes should not use entertainers with tattoos; (those associated with) hip-hop culture, sub-cultures (non-mainstream cultures), decadent cultures.” (”另外，总局明确要求节目中纹身艺人、嘻哈文化、亚文化（非主流文化）、丧文化（颓废文化）不用。”).

Subculture isn’t “core socialist values”. More importantly, it’s difficult to keep up with and control subculture. 環球網, the website co-owned by People’s Daily and Global Times (環球時報), ie, The State Newspaper and The State Tabloid, famously said this on its Weibo, on 2020/03/04, re: 227:

老了，没看懂为什么战。晚安。 Getting old. Can’t figure out what the war is about. Good night.

The State also cannot stop subculture from happening. It doesn’t have the resources to quell every single thing that become popular among its population of 1.4 billion. What it can do to make sure these subcultures stay subcultures, kept out of sight and mind of the general public.

Characterisation 1 (the queer characterisation), meanwhile, remains available to the state should it wish to drop the axe on Dangai for its queer elements. I’m including, as “queer elements”, presentation of men as too “feminine” for the state—which has remained a sore point for the government. This axe have a reason to drop in the upcoming months: July 23rd, 2021 will be the 100th birthday of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and the state may desire to have only uniformed forces and muscled, gun-toting “masculine” men gracing the screens.

What about for c-queers and their supporters (including group I fans)? What good and bad can the multiple characterisations of the genres do for them?

For c-queers and their supporters (including group I fans), their acceptance and safety are helped by the Dangai genre, by the Dangai 101 phenomenon, if and only if the state both characterises the queer elements in these dramas as queer (characterisation 1) AND their opinions of them are positive.

Personally, I had viewed this to be unlikely from the start, because a queer characterisation would mean the censorship board has failed to do its job, which is embarrassing for the Chinese government.

Characterisations 2) and 3) are not bad for c-queers and their supporters, however, and definitely not “enemies” of Characterisation 1);  they can not only serve as covers for the queer elements in Dangai to reach their audience, but also, they can act as protective padding for the LGBT+ community if the content or (very aggressive) marketing of the Dangai dramas displease the government — with the understanding, again, that the “traditional BL” arm of the Danmei community is itself also highly vulnerable by being a subculture, and so its padding effect is limited and it also deserves protection.

The downside to achieving LGBT+ visibility through Dangai is, of course and as mentioned, that these dramas are, ultimately, deeply unrealistic depictions of the c-queers. The promotion of these dramas, which has focused on physical interactions between the male leads for “candies”, can encourage even more fetishising of queers and queer relationships. The associated (character) CP culture that makes and breaks CPs based on the dramas’ airing cycle may also fuel negative perception of queer relationships as attention-seeking behaviour, something that can be initiated and terminated at will and for the right price.

Finally, with all this said, which characterisation(s) have the government taken re: Dangai and/or WOH? And what opinions has it given to its characterisations?

PART 1 <-- YOU ARE HERE PART 2 PART 3

[toxic-gorgon]

yandere jotaro headcanons please 0w0

Content Warning: All characters are well into adulthood and in a separate AU. Minors, DO NOT interact! By clicking the read more button, you agree to view this content.

Spicy Ingredients: Yandere/Dark themes, non-con/con, and unhealthy relationships.

Oh boy *rolls up sleeves*. I’ve been waiting for some Jojo asks!

Ok, we know that Jotaro is an upfront kind of guy who isn’t afraid to speak his mind. When he first realizes he may like someone romantically, he has an existential crisis especially with what happened after SDC. I feel like he wouldn’t be open to a relationship until well after SDC due to PTSD. I don’t want to say that him being a yandere is because of what he went through in Cairo and from losing/almost losing people close to him, but those events strongly influenced him.

Saying that Jotaro is protective is an understatement, and sometimes how or why he does something doesn’t make sense right away to people around him (but they make a huge amount of sense to him). We see this quite a few times in SDC. So, once he’s sorted through his crisis and deems he has a crush on darling, protective Jotaro comes out and he’ll have the intense need to keep them safe from the horrors he’s seen. The world is a dangerous place and Jotaro can’t bear to lose another important person in his life.

Jotaro most likely fell for darling’s calm and considerate demeanor. They didn’t follow him around or annoyed him, and perhaps they were a bit traditional. Even if they’re not traditional, that’s ok, because Jotaro has all the patience in the world to teach darling the right (his) way of doing things. Perhaps he misread darling’s considerate behavior, but he’ll never admit the fuzzy feelings he gets when darling dotes on him. Their simple “hello” and making small talk every morning makes him bashful (he will never tell darling that).

If someone speaks to darling wrongfully or crosses the line in any way, Jotaro isn’t above a physical display. Nothing says ‘leave darling be’ like an ora to the face. This just solidifies that darling isn’t safe without him. One way to ensure darling’s safety? Kidnap them of course! Maybe kidnap is too strong of a word. More like “bring darling home and let them experience how safe and easy a life with him is”. Darling is smart, she has to be perceptive to understand how Jotaro works and what his silence means.

Darling might have a tough time at first, moving to a new place often does make you feel like a fish out of water. But, Jotaro is there to guide them and if darling pushes back? Jotaro can calmly reason with them (if intimidation doesn't work, there's always Star Platnum, but hopefully it doesn't have to come to that). Darling will learn their true place as Jotaro's home spouse and find joy being with him. Even if it takes a very long time.

[kuri-chie]

INTRODUCING

The “Ying and Yang, Sun and Stars of Ensemble Square”

COMPLIMENT is a new unit in Ensemble Square under Rhythm Link, led by Sakurai Tetsuya. Their performances are relatively abundant, just above the average, however they rarely often engage in other activities other than fan meets. To make up for this, they often post on social media, holding livestreams and talking to their fans directly. This sets them apart from many of the other units. Their color scheme is monochrome. 

MEMBERS:

Sakurai Tetsuya (17)

Koizumi Osamu (18)

SAKURAI TETSUYA

↬ Sect. 01- Basics

Name(s):

Sakurai Tetsuya (stage name)

Sakurai Naoki (legal name)

Etymology:

Tetsuya- sage

Naoki- docile tree

Nickname(s): N/A

Age: 17-18 Years (not public information)

Birthday: not public information Gender: Male

Pronouns: he/they (experimenting with they) 

Height: 5’9” / 175 CM

↬Sect 02. About 

Romantic Orientation: panromantic

Sexual Orientation: demisexual

Residence: Yumenosaki Academy, Japan

Affiliations: Yumenosaki Academy, Ensemble Square

Class: 2-A

Circles: Overnight Outdoors Party

Club: Track and Field 

↬ Sect. 03- Personality

Tetsuya appears to be a generally serious student and respectful to everyone, exchanging polite gestures to bring good words to his brother’s name. If there was someone he was going to make someone look good, it would be the person he was displaying himself as. He generally got along well with everyone he met, although he never got close to anyone and rarely ever talked about himself.

Tetsuya feels as if he’s wrongfully in his brother’s spot, and he constantly worries that he’s doing something wrong by “living his brother’s life without him”. He fears something he does is going to stain his brother’s legacy and ultimately bring him back under the control of his parents. This was the most free he was ever going to get, and he wasn’t planning to return to that place anytime soon.

In reality, Tetsuya is someone who isn’t sure of himself, a really down to earth person who trusts people too easily. It takes a while to crack his shell, but once you get to know him, he will never let you go, even if you backstab him. 

The way he acts with his fans is k-pop style- both he and his brother loved watching k-pop MVs and TV shows, and thus, he adopted that style of interaction. He often makes a lot of gestures and smiles to the crowd a lot, even dropping some lines he finds attractive at times. He values his fans a lot and they’re the attention he didn’t get when he was younger. 

↬ Sect. 04- History

OVERVIEW

Tetsuya is not Tetsuya’s name, nor has he ever considered it for a second. Instead, he is, and has always been, Sakurai Naoki, although few know of his real identity. Sakurai has always been his family name from the start. He hasn’t changed his family, but his family has changed him. 

TW: death (suicide), parents being delusional, some violence 

Lmk if i missed any T-T

EARLY AGE

Tetsuya is actually Naoki’s brother’s name- they were identical twins, yet their parents did not love them the same. Tetsuya was more talented than him in most ways they could see, and he was the object of their affection rather than Naoki. It started with their strange family traditions- zhuazhou, where one year olds were tasked to choose different objects as a form of fortunetelling, each with their own meaning- from straw to money. All were relatively nice and most parents were happy with whatever their children had chosen, and perhaps a joke or two out of it. That was what Tetsuya and Naoki’s parents had planned to do, until they had seen which of their sons had picked the “correct” choices. Tetsuya had chosen the money, which their parents were very happy about, and Naoki had chosen the pen and ink, which they were not ecstatic about. That was just their beginning, one in which the fortune telling seemed to be true. 

As their parents had high hopes, especially for Tetsuya, they enrolled them in all sorts of classes for such young children. Upon evaluation, Tetsuya was told that he was smart for his age and should be enrolled in additional classes to help him further, and their parents were ecstatic. When they inquired about Naoki, they had told them that he was quite average, and they were soon disappointed. 

“Tatsuya is such a wonderful son; he’s all we need!” 

Naoki was rarely ever praised, only compared to his brother if anything. He wasn’t deprived of any basic needs, but his parents rarely ever paid him much mind. All they had to say to him was disappointment, and they made a “moral decision” to simply ignore him if they only had negative things to say about him. Thus, he often slipped their mind.

Naoki was quite the lonely child, as he was ignored by his parents. They put up an act when they went out, but they rarely would agree too, unless Tetsuya wanted to- and even Tetsuya had to have a good reason. If it could be delivered, they would  get it delivered. Even if Tetsuya wanted to go grocery shopping in person, they would simply shake their heads and ask him why it was beneficial for anyone to go when they would usually get it delivered. Thus, he rarely received the attention of anyone besides his brother. Tetsuya would tell him all about the things he learned when he went outside, all of the outside things their parents told him about, and everything inbetween. Tetsuya made his friends Naoki’s friends too, and it was a requirement that if they and Tatsuya were to be friends, they were to be friends with Naoki too. 

Tetsuya was put in all kinds of advanced programs, which left Naoki all by himself most of the time. He mostly put in subpar effort to get good grades- it had already been instilled in himself that there was no competition; the competition was his brother, who had already won by a longshot. He didn’t hate him for it, nor did he hate his parents for it- he thought that was only the right thing to do to make smart people smarter and more successful while leaving the dumber people behind. Thus, he was left to do whatever he wanted, and his brother let him take his electronics whenever he went to his academy after school. He mostly played games on the computer and stumbled upon many kinds of people, creating his own email and creating accounts on forums, multiplayer games, and even social media sites. His parents didn’t care; as long as he didn’t cause trouble for them or his brother, he was going to be left alone, without being scolded. He often watched videos of idols, and he soon began to love them. He posted quite a lot, and he even joined forums for idol fans. He often talked with them, but he rarely talked about himself- after all, he was convinced that he was simply nothing, just an existing Naoki. 

As much as they loved Tetsuya, their parents often scolded him as well. They had high expectations, and by the time middle school had arrived, Tetsuya’s grades had fallen. Tetsuya was smart, but he had discovered a lot of other hobbies that interested him- including idols. He often snuck out of the house to go to his friends’ house, to use the karaoke machine and hang out. They often sung and danced, and both of the brothers had something in common. Idols were Tatsuya’s saviors during those times, and that music and Naoki were the only things that kept him wanting to live. Those were two things he swore to never let go of, even if he had to live though his parents. He understood that they weren’t the best parents, but they were his parents, and they had jurisdiction over him. 

But he couldn’t keep his promise. He was just 13 when he left; his body was found on the street in front of their apartment complex- dead, cold in the rain. His parents were among the first to see it- followed by Naoki- though they paid him no mind in response to Tetsuya dying. They rushed over, and Naoki wanted to too, but he feared what his parents would do if he came out of his and his brothers’ shared room. So, he stayed put, watching from his window, making sure his parents never knew. 

He rarely saw them after that; his aunt had stopped by to pick him up, and she brought him to her hometown. He was amazed at the kindness he was given, and perhaps those were the happiness times of his life. She helped him with his homework, let the neighbors come over to hang out with him, and she made him lunch every day before school- she even asked what he wanted for lunch the next day the night before. Naoki was the happiest during this time.

One day, when his mother came to visit, he came out of his room to tell his aunt that he was going to the stationary store down the street to meet his friends, and his mother’s eye caught sight of him. Her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth as she whispered “Tetsuya?” 

Naoki didn’t bother to answer her; Tetsuya wasn’t alive anymore. He was Naoki, and that woman wasn’t nearly as good as his aunt. Before he could leave, a hand gripped his arm; it hurt, and he was sure it would leave a mark for weeks.

“Where are you going?” the cold, harsh voice he often heard her speak to Tetsuya reached his ears.

“To Mr. Umeda’s store. I’m meeting my friends there. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have plans.” he paid no attention to her, hoping she’d just let go and he’d continue his day there until his aunt came to pick him up that night. 

“You’re not going anywhere, Tetsuya. What did I say about going to see your friends on weekdays?” 

He could feel her anger. The woman was delusional. 

“I’m not Tetsuya, so don’t try to stop me. Have a nice day,” he tried separating from her grip, but she wouldn’t let go.

“Are you crazy? Do I need to drive you to a hospital and have to spend that much money on it? Wise up. No more pranks; we’re going home. Your father and I just got us a better apartment, so we’re going there.” 

He could hear his aunt yelling in the background, and his mother yelling back at her, but no matter what his aunt did, even a slap, even if she knocked her out, he would return to his mother. 

“Listen, Tetsuya. Don’t try that ever again. And you’re never going to your aunt’s ever again, understand? She’s a kidnapper- never be like her,” she looked him straight in the eye. He knew she was delusional, but there was nothing he could do. Thus, he nodded as Tetsuya did before, and he started his life as Tetsuya, not Naoki. 

BEFORE YUMENOSAKI 

What made Naoki, who was now forced to live as Tetsuya, want to become an idol was that it would be his one way ticket out of his household. It was his escape plan- he wouldn’t have to live as oppressed as he did if he did that. Since Tetsuya loved idols, he made the argument to his parents that he wanted to become an idol and attend Yumenosaki Academy. It wasn’t far-fetched, and his parents knew he liked idols as well. Thus, they allowed it as long as he got in- which they didn’t believe he would due to their disappointment in him. They figured that if they, the most lenient people to Tetsuya (in their minds) were disappointed in him, everyone else was as well. 

Thus, when he was accepted, his parents were actually shocked and begged him to stay home, but he turned their words on them and was able to leave.

FIRST YEAR IN YUMENOSAKI

Before attending Yumenosaki, he thought he would be free- but he couldn’t. Upon agreeing to go to Yumenosaki, they made the restriction that he had to come home and they were to watch his videos on idol activity- they expected results, and if he delivered none, he was to come back home and transfer to another high school, back into the hell he so desperately wanted to get away from. Because of this, he had to register and essentially become Tetsuya again, as his mother would pull him out of the school if she ever saw him “act out of character”. 

The first friend he made in Yumenosaki was another first year student named Koizumi Osamu. He wanted to know more about Osamu, and when they formed their unit, COMPLIMENT, they made an agreement- they were going to be successful, and they were going to be transparent with each other. They shook hands, put their signatures on a little piece of paper they called a contract, and they told each other their life stories. Naoki told his story in great detail, and Osamu was intrigued. Naoki was easy to manipulate with just a little kindness- Osamu disliked using people to greater lengths than needed, but the opportunity presented itself if needed. Osamu told his story in a more general sense, but Naoki was fascinated. He had rarely heard his friends talk about their lives in such detail before, and Osamu was the first person he truly felt like he “understood”, and he hoped that Osamu understood him too. Thus, COMPLIMENT was formed. 

Trivia

Tetsuya’s mother is chinese and his father is japanese 

KOIZUMI OSAMU

↬ Sect. 01- Basics

Name(s):

Koizumi Osamu

Etymology:

Osamu- study 

Nickname(s): N/A

Age: 18 years

Birthday: Feb 6 Gender: Male

Pronouns: he/him 

Height: 5’8” / 172 CM

↬Sect 02. About 

Romantic Orientation: Aromantic 

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual 

Residence: Yumenosaki Academy, Japan

Affiliations: Yumenosaki Academy, Ensemble Square

Class: 3-A

Circles: Overnight Outdoors Party

Club: Track and Field 

↬ Sect. 03- Personality

Osamu is a very careful person. He rarely lets out his true feelings- in fact, he hides them so much that he doesn’t even know what he’s feeling. He only has a goal on his mind, and he is thinking about how to achieve it. 

He often speaks in a polite manner and is very skilled with his words. He is easily able to convince others in his favor and is able to change the flow of the conversation easily. He has a soft demeanor to him, yet it is impossible to know what exactly he is thinking. 

Osamu acts a little distant with his fans compared to others. To him, fans are just people there to give their money, have a good time with their idols and should leave once they are done. He wants to manage idols rather than be one, but in order to get close to Tenshouin and gain influence, this is what he must do. However, he still winks to the crowd and gives words the fans go crazy over- he feeds them just enough so that they don’t doubt his “dedication” to being an idol. 

↬ Sect. 04- Backstory

Everything Osamu did was to help his family rise to power- a former powerhouse fallen to ashes, he wishes to be the phoenix who rises up to power again.

The Koizumi family is one of the families which had started the idol industry in Japan. One of the first major agencies was built by them, KZ Productions. They dominated the industry for a few years, bringing out multiple top idols and enjoyed quite a lot of wealth. However, when Osamu’s father inherited the business, their popularity declined and they failed to bring much profit at all to the KZ Production name. Thus, the business went through a chapter 7 bankruptcy, where all of their assets had been liquidated and debts had been paid back (mostly) to investors. Osamu’s father found himself a new job and just barely kept his family afloat. 

Osamu, however, wanted to bring back his family’s honor. He saw his father in a state of unease and guilt for many years, which led him to his goal: to bring back KZ Productions by any means- even if it included sucking up to the Tenshouins, which he planned to do. He couldn’t do it the way the Himemiyas had, as they were already quite rich and were able to get close to them- he would have to have connections that brought him closer to the Tenshouins. 

Osamu was naturally talented in singing, dancing and acting, and thus he spent less time focusing on his idol skills and spent more time making connections. He often spent time researching people- who their connections were and their personal interests. Osamu often used the information he collected to make deals and relations with others, doing favors for them in exchange for favors for him. It was a business deal- if he could show ways that he was useful to them, and they could show ways they could be useful to him, he would keep those relationships.

Thus, he began his journey to infiltrate Ensemble Square. Before he could apply to Yumenosaki, he made a name for himself by starting on social media and making connections to as many influencers and recruiters as possible, along with anyone else higher up in the chain. He gained the attention of many, and by the time he was accepted into Yumenosaki, his name was quite famous. When he got to meet the president of Starmaker Production the first time, he was delighted, but he did not make any moves- it would happen slowly. He would make his way into the careful Tenshouin’s mind slowly, but before he died. It was the battle of the schemers.

When Osamu met Tetsuya, what he saw in him was that he was easy to take advantage of. He had a sob backstory, a kind heart, and a situation to take advantage of. He didn’t mind that he had to tell his side of the story; in fact, he could tell that Tetsuya was one to keep secrets and it would give him more trust. Thus, COMPLIMENT was born. 

[ja-khajay]

Stuff I read (and liked) this year

As promised, here’s a list of the novels, comics, manga, etc... I read this year, focusing on the ones I enjoyed and would recommend to people. Under a cut, this is going to be a little long.

-------- Books --------

Favorite book of the year: Stranger in the Woods, by Michael Finkel

Non-fiction. Based on the interviews of the man himself by the author, it is about a man who felt so unfit for society he decided one day to leave it, and spent the next 28 years as a hidden hermit in forest in Maine. The book details how he survived there, how he was eventually found, and some of his reasons for doing so. It’s a great reflection on the nature of loneliness.

Indian creek, by Pete Fromm

...Yet another detailed tale of living alone in the woods. This time, the diary of a student who spent a winter in the mountains to help tend for salmon hatchlings, and how he spent the rest of his days hiking, hunting, meeting the locals. It’s a fun little book who, being set almost the whole world away from where I live, was a nice way to travel.

Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones

I don’t feel the need to explain this one since everyone and their mom has seen the movie adapted from it. The book, that I first read a decade ago before I actually watched the film, is a less romantized, more spirited telling of the same story. The writing is absolutely delightful and so is the world it paints, and it’s the first time in ages a book had me laughing out loud during my entire read.

-------- Comics (BD) --------

Favorite comic of the year: Monsieur Désire?, by Hubert and Virginie Augustin

A discreet young woman becomes a maid for a decadent, unbearable, byronesque young lord. Caked in the rigid and oppressive social hierarchy of the victorian era, you follow a mental and verbal joust between the two, as the lord tries his best to offend and corrupt his new unrelenting servant, to little success. The writing and especially the dialogues were stellar, drawing me into the tense atmosphere, watching this trainwreck of a character flamboyantly destroy himself. While there’s no precise content warnings that I can give, this is a mature and heavy story.

World of Edena, by Moebius

Anyone who’s followed this blog for over a month knows how much of a Moebius fan I am. Edena combines the vague, dreamlike, wordless storytelling from stuff like Arzach or The cat’s eyes with an actual plot. While I haven’t completly finished the story, the evolution of the main characters and how the story is told have been great to read through, and as always the art is beyond gorgeous. Unfortunately suffers from some good old sexism in the writing that even if minimal, tasted sour

Le roman de Renart, by Joan Sfar (book 1)

Sfar’s work always has a signature vibe of being dreamy and light without being light hearted, of being down to earth but drifting in the fantastical, and this one is no exception. It’s an adaption of a series of medieval folk tales I grew up with, who uses the same characters to tell an original story. If you’re familiar with icons like Renart as well as other mythological big boys like Merlin you’ll fit right in. There is something special in how the dialogues are written, who feel natural in a way that you’d overhear in a street corner and is very special to me.

The mercenary, by VIncente Segrelles

Another one I post about a lot on this blog. The mercenary is a king on the throne of fantasy cheese. The worldbuilding is interesting at times but the writing is a pretty pathetic display of glorious old time sword and sorcery sci-fantasy 10 years too late for it’s prime (warning for ye old sexism and orientalism that plagues the genre, cranked very high...) but you come and stay for the art. The entire thing is drawn in a series of hyper detailed oil paintings with an insane eye for technical detail, from the engineering of the weaponry, to the architecture and weather, to the anatomy of the fantasy creatures... Each panel stands out as it’s own painting which makes even flipping through it without reading the scenario a treat. Click here to see more of the art, in my Segrelles tag.

The ice maurauder, by Jacques Tardi

A short story about mad scientists entirely drawn like a 19th century engraving. In great Tardi tradition everyone is ugly and mean, it ends terribly, it’s both a hommage to the genre of late 19th cent. to early 1900s dramatic adventure novels and a critical eye on it, and it’s morbidly funny. Most people I saw online hated the way this was written but I’m not them and I really recommend this book. Die mad

-------- Manga --------

Favorite manga of the year: it’s a tie between the following two.

Cats of the Louvre, by Taiyo Matsumoto

Most wonderful comic I have read in ages. The story follows a bunch of semi-feral cats secretly living in the Louvre museum’s attic, and the small group of humans who share their life, walking through the museum as the night watch. When the cats are together, they are represented in a humanoid way, but still act like animals, and “become” cats again when a human is nearby. The plot is a sort of supernatural mystery centered around a kitten who walks around paintings. It’s a love letter to art, sincere and beautiful, with a unique art style and great characters.

Memoirs of amorous Gentlemen, by Moyoco Anno

A sex worker in early 20th century paris starts writing down a diary of the clients she meets, in a quest to cope with the troubles of her life. You follow her, her colleagues, and her bittersweet relationship with an abusive lover. I don’t have much words about this comic, but the art and writing both are amazing, it’s the perfect length and drew me in like little series had before. Obvious content warnings as this is an adult story that talks about sexuality, but also depicts both mental and physical abuse.

Hana, also by Taiyo Matsumoto 

A very short story, this was not made to be read as a comic originally, but served as storyboarding and visual development for a play, and the way it is written follows that. Hana is a slice of life story set in a fantasy world, of a young boy, his family, his village. Despite the setting being an original one, the character interactions are refreshingly... normal, and there is no huge plot to speak of, just a bit of the life of these characters. The art is beautiful, entirely black and white, with a scratchy style and an emphasis on contrast. Matsumoto is on a speedy road to becoming my favorite manga artist haha

Delicious in Dungeon, by Ryoko Kui

While not marked as my year’s favorite, I still consider this series among my favorite manga ever. The art and writing are amazing, and it’s both heartfelt, well concieved and plain hilarious. The story follows several parties of dungeon diving adventurers each on their little quests with a premise of our protagonists, on a panic rescue mission, surviving in the dungeon by cooking and eating the monsters they come across. From a DnD party turned cooking manual dinner of the week beginning, the plot creeps up on you and slowly thickens. I don’t want to spoil anything about the overarching story of this because it was a delight to discover for myself. While everything about DinD rules, I am especially fond of the design philosophy of the author, who puts great detail in the practicality and biology of what she draws, as well as the character writing. Everyone even side characters has so much charm and depth to them, the cast is so diverse and entertaining...! Each character is just a bit lame enough but endearing, and has their own little backstory that shows in the way they exist. It’s a delight

Chainsaw man, by Tatsuki Fujimoto

I went into CSM expecting a borderline campy hyperviolent dumb fun thing to read and was very surprised to find an uncomfortably well written story about a teenager being groomed. The hyperviolent dumb fun fights are here nonetheless and the series still qualifies as shonen for some reason, but the more mature character writing as well as some truly outlandish visuals make it something very special. If you can’t stand shonen, not sure you will like it, but if you don’t mind it, worth trying.

Witch hat atelier, by Kamome Shirahama

The oh so elegant fantasy seinen every cool kid started posting about this year, who I also succumbed to and fast. Witch hat is hard to explain, as most of it’s plot revolves around the rules of the world it’s set in, specifically the regulations around it’s magic and the social and historical reasons for them. It’s about growing up, learning, disability, making art. You follow a little girl taken in by a witch as an apprentice, her magical education, and learn little by little why her lovely teacher is so willing to break a lot of rules... While a bit too gentle and pretty for my taste at times, Witch hat has great worldbuilding and explores sensitive themes I rarely see in manga, much less in fantasy. And Berserk wishes it had art this good

[aroambergris]

The Fabled A-spec Post I Keep Saying I’ll Make

Since I’m p aro on sideblog + community terms are unknown to people outside the community (as well as those inside the community due to the wipeout exclusionism on the website circa 2016-onward) so I figured I’d make a quick post to let people know abt some of the things I’ll be referring to!

Terms

Allo: someone who is not a-spec; used in front of -romantic or -sexual (ex. alloromantic) or used as a descriptor (ex. I cannot believe everyone else here is allo)

A-spec / Aro-spec / Ace-spec: abbreviation for the spectrum; A-spec as an abbreviation for the entire spectrum, aro-spec as an abbreviation for the aro spectrum, and ace-spec as an abbreviation for the ace spectrum

-> a note: can be written as a-spec or aspec, but due to screen readers/ what I’ve seen dyslexic a-spec people discuss, I use a-spec. I am not dyslexic nor use a screen reader, so I cannot comment on this, and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong

Qpr/ qpp: queerplatonic relationship/ quasiplatonic relatonship; queerplatonic partner/ quasiplatonic partner. Qprs do not have a strict set of rules, and as such are hard to describe. They are not romantic nor sexual inherently, though one could be. A qpr can be committed, married, and non-romantic/ non-sexual; they can look like a romantic relationship; they can include sex and sexual elements; they can appear casual; they can be monogamous or polyamorous; they can occur at the same time as a romantic relationship. They’re very moldable. They are a relationship that, as it comes from the aro community, is not inherently romantic, but goes above and beyond traditional societal norms for friendship (though, friends can do everything a qpr does and not be in a relationship labeled as other than friends). To get a better understanding of qprs, I’d suggest looking into community resources and finding other posts a-spec blogs have made about them. AUREA, or aromantism.org, defines them as “A committed non-romantic relationship that goes beyond what is the subjective cultural norm for a friendship. Levels of intimacy and/or behaviors between the partners involved often don’t fit the conventional standards set by society. Some QPRs can include sex and elements that are generally considered romantic. In practice every queerplatonic relationship is different. Abbreviated to QPR, and queerplatonic (quasiplatonic) partner to QPP.”

Squish: a catch-all term for non-romantic and non-sexual attraction; commonly mistaken for a crush

-> a note: there are many other words for different types of attraction (plush for queerplatonic attraction, swish for aesthetic attraction, etc) but squish is a catch-all and used most often

Peach Fuzz: a qpr that pretends to be romantic/ dating for any reason

Zucchini: an old term that became uncommon after exclusionism became widespread; another way to refer to your partner in a QPR (ex. This is my zucchini!)

Amatonormitivity: The assumption that everyone is looking for a long-term romantic relationship; the assumption that romance, marriage, ‘partnering off’, etc, is the only path someone would want to follow in their life

Queerplatonic / quasiplatonic: an attraction that is ‘non traditional’ and not romantic or sexual. A hard to define attraction that is different than platonic attraction but not romantic or sexual

Aplatonic: Someone who does not experience platonic attraction; also a spectrum called the aplspectrum; can be used as an identifier (ex. demiplatonic, greyplatonic, etc)

SAM: the split attraction model, which serves to split types of attraction (ex. aroromantic and bisexual as two different terms used at the same time)

Non-SAM aro, ace, etc: commonly used as Non-SAM aro. People who don’t use the split attraction model (ex. only identifying as aro/ terms related to aro and not ace/ allosexual)

Oriented aroace: a term for people who are aroace who experience another type of attraction larger enough to label it (ex. Lesbian aroace, pan aroace, etc)

Angled aroace: a term for people who are on the a-spectrum (grey, demi, akoi, etc) and who experience a type of attraction that is not romantic or sexual, and feels significant enough for them to label it (ex. see above, angled omni aroace, angled gay aroace, etc)

Relationship anarchy: the belief that no relationship is better than another; instead of a pyramid of relationships, they’re all equal. Not specific to the community, but often discussed

Romance/ sex repulsed/ averse: someone who does not want romance/ sexual relationships/ actions taken towards them. This can go from feeling uncomfortable to getting triggered by these actions. One can be romance repulsed and not sex repulsed, or sex repulsed and not romance repulsed, or both

R/s indifferent: someone who does not care one way or the other about romance and/or sexual actions taken towards them. One might be unwilling to do romantic/sexual actions because they don’t care, or, on the other end of the spectrum, might do them anyway even though they do not feel any real want to. On a spectrum and can apply in any combination, like r/s repulsed.

R/s favorable: someone who likes romantic/ sexual actions and wants to do them. Again, on a spectrum, and in any combination, like the two above. They might seek out romantic/ sexual interactions, enjoy them, and want a romantic/ sexual relationship, despite not feeling romantic/ sexual attraction

-> a note: be careful! Sex negative and sex positive are used to refer to whether you support those who are sexual or not (ie. sex workers, those who are in sexual relationships, etc) instead of whether you specifically feel repulsed/ favorable. Don’t mix the terms up, as they mean two different things

Voidpunk: a section of punk morals/ aesthetic not unique to the aro community but coined in it. The practice of rejecting ones humanity and reclaiming their inhumanity, specifically only to be used by groups that people use inhuman against; a way to cope with dehumanization from oppressors. Not specific to the aro community (also used by poc, neurodivergent people, etc, and the intersection of multiple identities that are called ‘inhuman’) but popular inside it

Soft Romo: a term used for anyone but most often on the aro-spectrum; for people who like to perform stereotypical ‘romantic’ gestures such as dating, etc. without wanting the high-energy kissing, holding hands, etc. A ‘low-level romantic relationship’, where performing high-level romance is not preferred or just not possible due to different aspects.

-> let me know if there’s anything you would like me to add/ explain!

Symbols

[ID: an image of two hands, palm up. The right hand is on the left, and the left hand is on the right. They are resting on a dark grey blanket, and there is a light blue rug behind them. On the middle finger of the right hand there is a black ring. On the middle finger of the left hand there is a white, almost transparent, ring. End ID]

Black ring: a symbol of the ace-spec community. Worn on the right hand, middle finger. A way of identification/ pride in public w/o displaying flags

White ring: a symbol of the aro-spec community. Worn on the left hand, middle finger. A way of identification/ pride in public w/o displaying flags

Cake: a symbol commonly used in the ace community, either as a joke (ex. This cake is better than sex!/ Cake will always be better than sex) or as a symbol

Arrow: a symbol commonly used in the aro community, drawing on the way the words ‘arrow’ and ‘aro’ sound the same. Similar themes (archers, bow and arrow, etc) can also be used

Ace card symbol: the ace of a card deck, commonly used as a symbol in the ace community. While the card usage isn’t often discussed, I’ve found sources discussing each meaning; Ace of hearts-> alloace; Ace of spades-> aroace; Ace of diamonds-> the ace spectrum Ace of clubs-> questioning. Draws on ‘ace’ and ‘ace’ word play; also used in jokes (ex. I have an ace up my sleeve/ Aced it!)

Yellow roses: a symbol commonly used in the aro community. Symbolizes friendship, using the symbolism in the yellow rose

Purple/ Green: the colors in the ace / aro flags, respectively

Yellow: the ‘color of friendship’. Commonly connected to yellow roses.

-> a note: there are many more symbols in each community; space ace, frogs for aros, griffins, dragons, etc. I’d suggest looking up symbols and finding some more yourself! These are just some common ones I have seen frequently

That’s all I can think of right now, but if anyone would like me to add on things / explain more my ask box is always open and I am always willing to edit. People in the a-spec community, please feel free to comment/ correct things/ add on things you feel like I’ve missed! While I did not do a list of identities, I did not want to leave out identities that are lesser known/ made fun of. Again, my ask box is open. I linked AUREA (linked to the FAQ) above earlier (linked to the home page), which is a great site for the aro community if anyone would like to know more.