#even when rightfully angry and upset and even with the way they can be mean sometimes loop proves time and time again just how good they ar

[acerikus]

I hope you don't mind me exposing your tags bc you're absolutely right and I am. Going to combust

loop isat you make me so ill

[nebbyy]

Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo x reader - It's Over, isn't It?

A/N: okay so a few weeks ago I was listening to the song “It’s Over isn’t it” form the Steven Universe series and this scenario came to my mind, so I thought I’d just make it a fic! For this piece I didn’t see a point in assigning a gender to the reader, so we go with gender neutral all the way😎😎(neither your godly parent is specified since it doesn’t really add anything to the plot, so you can choose whichever you prefer)

PART TWO IS HERE

Warning: insecurity, jealousy, angst (WITH comfort tho), mentions of suggestive activities

Word count: 3209

You kinda hate yourself right now, and you hate yourself because you are so angry right now.

Well maybe angry is an exaggeration, but still, you’re really, really upset.

And you know you should be anything but upset right now. I mean, the love of your life finally has the chance to go back to his home in the Olympus, regain his honor and his status as a god. Those were all good things that you should be ecstatic about, right?

Well, wrong.

Just thinking of it made you feel like you could throw up at any moment. Thinking about the fact that Apollo. Because, what will be of Lester, your Lester?

Your whole relationship had started because he wasn’t Apollo. He wasn’t the tall, tan, handsome and all mighty God of the Sun; he was just a normal teen, whose only things that made him stick out were his acne, his clumsiness and a somewhat nice voice. His mortal condition didn’t even give him a single chance to act in his usual exaggerated, narcissistic self. He had to start off from the start, build a personality that wasn’t based on his godly qualities, but on something more real.

And in that situation he found himself in, with his new eyes he had seen you, and you truly seemed like a deity to him. 

How could you be anything less to the rest of the world, he thought. You were your godly parent’s greatest hero, you were liked and admired by most campers both because of your victories and your looks. And he spent oh so many nights fantasizing about taking you back with him in Olympus, giving you the godly status that should be rightfully yours. But hell, with the body he’d found himself in he’d barely the courage to come up to you to talk.

He told you so many times how absolutely surprised he was when he found out that you actually liked him back, even if he looked like any 17 year old loser, his actual words. And you remembered too, how his voice was so shaky as he tried to muster up a coherent sentence, how his cheeks shone a bright red, how his hands were trembling as you took them into yours and his palms sweating. But in your mind, that was more beautiful than any sonnet, any haiku, any poem, any grandiose, Apollo-like gesture. Because that was Lester, not Apollo; and in your eyes, Lester’s awkwardness was what made him stand out, because it was purely genuine.

Now ever so often you wonder, if he used to feel like you’re feeling right now, like you’re no match to the person you love. You look at your reflection in the mirror of the bathroom, and the mean joke that played your mind made you highlight all the flaws you could spot in yourself. All things that a god could never accept in their lover. You feel so wrong, so flawed that you just wish you could turn yourself into mud and reform your appearance completely.

Gods, you’re being ridiculous right now, you think, you just want to slap yourself in the face and yell at your reflection to get a grip goddamnit! You’re one of the greatest heroes of your time, you survived two wars, you can’t possibly draw the line at a failed relationship with a god. 

At one point someone might think: but why are you so opposed to the idea that your boyfriend is finally becoming a god once again? How ungrateful can you be??

But the point is, you know damn well that the whole point of the creation of Lester was forcing Apollo into a form that would’ve been the total opposite of who he is.

Because Apollo is naturally flirty and superficial, he loves to love and be loved, and he pursues anything and everything that he finds beautiful. But he got bored easily of his love conquers, hence why he has so many kids. So in your mind, it was only natural that as soon as he was back to normality, he’d grow tired of you and move to the next mortal that piqued his interest, maybe even leaving you a single parent to a new demigod.

That’s why you couldn’t stop that nagging feeling deep into your core, as you walked out of your cabin, hearing all the girls already speculating about how beautiful, handsome, shiny and dashing Apollo will be once he goes back to his form. “And who knows, maybe he’ll set his eyes on some of the friends he made in here” squealed a girl, from which cabin you did not know nor care. Her friend replied: “Yeah I mean, ain’t no way he’s gonna keep staying with the same partner forever. I mean, come on, he’s Apollo!” They both giggled like school girls, then kept gossiping about something else, but you did not care enough to keep eavesdropping their whole conversation.

You really hated yourself for being like this right now.

Of course, you know that those two girls meant no harm, it wasn’t their fault if they knew just as much as you did about Apollo’s tendencies. And about that you’re already came to terms with, but there’s something else you hate yourself for…

You stopped reaching out to him. Or even worse, you even started to avoid him. 

Not also him, but your friends and siblings as well. You closed yourself off of everyone else in your life, opting to spend your free days in Camp by yourself, whether it is in your cabin, sparring or all alone in your favorite spot in the forest.

Which is exactly where you’re directed to right now, as you put your headphones in your ears, wasting no time to press play and then abuse the volume up button to muffle any sound from the outside. You walk past the two girls, past another group of guys that were training with one another, and past your friends too, who you didn’t noticed as they were calling and waving at you to join them for a quick snack, leaving them rather confused and preoccupied as it seemed that you were stuck in a trance, locked out in another dimension of your own.

You didn’t even see Lester excusing himself from the group to subtly start following you wherever you were going.

It’s a quiet place, the one in the forest, protected by a thick layer of trees and bushes that makes it hard to reach it; but it’s worth all the climbing and scratches for the beautiful sight of a clear waterfall that fell right into a circular body of water, surrounded  by a rather big field of moss, so soft and fresh to lay on during the hot summer nights.

And so you did, letting yourself fall on that natural mattress, then closing your eyes to feel the light breeze on your exposed skin, and let the words of the song that’s blasting at full volume at the moment fill your ears, although you can barely focus on what they’re saying

It really seems unfair, all of this. That you thought you had fallen in love not with a god, but with a boy. Somehow forgetting that boy and god mixed in Lester, two sides of the same coin.

And maybe he forgot too, because every time the two of you were together, he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to think of the responsibilities that were waiting for him. With you, he forgot about his lost and very much missed abs and tan, he forgot about his chariot and his comfortable place in Olympus. Hell, you even made him forget about all his old lovers. It was really only you in his eyes, just as he was in yours. If only he’d ever told you all of this though…

Your mind keeps swirling in a million thoughts, until it fixates on one memory in particular.

You and him, alone on that very same spot in the forest. In a similar situation as you were now, too, with your crappy phone playing music softly in the background, as the the two of you laid together, one next to the other. You turn around to look at him briefly, only to find him already looking at you. “What, do I have something on my face or..” he just shake his head with the most lovestruck eyes you’d ever seen, batting his eyes slowly before looking at you once again, “I just really want to kiss you right now”.

Your eyes widen. His eyes widen. Did he really just say THAT?

Neither of you were sure how or why, thinking back to it, you wonder if it was his godly charm poking at the back of his head. But that didn’t matter at the time, the future in which he came back to his godly state seemed so far from you, it wasn’t even an option in your head.

Nevertheless, after the initial shock from his words, you silently answered him with a slow, almost numbed movement of the head, nodding slightly, almost scared that if you moved to fast you would’ve whisked him away, or that he could’ve changed his mind already.

But that nod was all that he needed before crashing his lips against yours, one of his hands flying to grab the side of your head, while the other stayed put on its place against the ground to keep him from falling on top of you.

The kiss was an absolute mess: teeth clashing, nose bumping against each other,... but it was perfect that way to you. You broke away from each other for a brief moment to catch your breaths, and you just look into each other’s eyes. With chests heaving, breaths mixing, you both started laughing, if only for a moment, a laugh of disbelief at what had just happened.

But that laugh didn’t last long before he moved his head closer once again, this time more slowly, more confidently. The kiss was in fact much less messy, your lips found their place against each other, the panic from before had morphed into pure butterflies in your stomach and fireworks in your eyes.

After a minute at most, you broke apart once again, but only for Lester to reposition himself on top of you in a more comfortable position. Your bodies closer than ever, you could feel everything of him….

What happened after still makes your cheeks flush red at the mere thought, but it also causes a frown to form on your face. Those times, when it was just the two of you are over. Maybe it was just a time of crisis that brought you two together, the shock from a morta perspective might have caused him to cling onto the closes person he could find. You can’t help but imagine Leste- Apollo in that moment, laying in the clouds of Olympus in a much similar scenario, maybe with a beautiful nymph or a smaller deity, or a mortal he laid his eyes on while he was on this earth-

“There you are! I should’ve known that if you’re not around you’re definitely in here.” If it were a normal, mortal voice, you wouldn’t have been able to hear it over the deafening high volume of the music blasting in you ears. But it wasn’t a mortal voice.

It was loud, it was melodic, it resonated in the air like the echo of the most beautiful of songs,…

You wouldn’t even need to turn around to know that that voice came from no other than Apollo. That’s right, he probably came back to his true form already. You can’t even imagine what a scene that would’ve been, to see the handsomely perfect god walking around Camp Half Blood, how many boys and girls had probably followed him around drooling over the sight of him. 

You wish you could just stay put, coldly dismiss him and let him go for what probably is the rest of your life and his eternity. But, curiosity gets the best of you, and you can’t help but turn around tentatively, eager to see what your boyfriend really looks like.

Your mouth quite literally hits the floor at the sight. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always found Lester really attractive, but this.

This was something beyond the concept of handsome or beautiful.

This, him, was beyond what humans can perceive and comprehend.

Yes, you knew that his skin was tanned, but as he stood in front of you it seemed as if his body was made of bronze.

And yes, you also knew that his hair was blonde, but that didn’t make them justice. They flew, like rays of sun through a clouded sky.

Of his eyes you knew nothing about, but you were pretty sure at this point that no description could really depict just how deep, bright, captivating, alluring, even, they really were.

Your mouth quite literally hit the floor at the sight. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always found Lester really attractive, but this.

This was something beyond the concept of handsome or beautiful.

This, him, was beyond what humans can perceive and comprehend.

Yes, you knew that his skin was tanned, but as he stood in front of you it seemed as if his body was made of bronze.

And yes, you also knew that his hair was blonde, but that didn’t make them justice. They flew, like rays of sun through a clouded sky.

Of his eyes you knew nothing about, but you were pretty sure at this point that no description could really depict just how deep, bright, captivating, alluring, even, they really were.

Your throat felt tight, your mouth dry, and your whole body gives you this tingly sensation. With all of your strength, you took a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, before mustering all of your strength to speak without a pathetic shaky voice. “I thought you were going back as soon as you got your body back.“

“Ain’t no way that I wasn’t coming to kiss my beautiful partner goodbye.” He grinned as he swiftly took a seat right by your side, propping himself on his elbow, his eyes never once leaving yours. You swore his smile was intoxicating, you’d say contagious even if the thought that this might’ve been your last moments together didn’t fill your mind with sorrow.

You wanted to protect yourself from this, detach your mind and heart from him before he does it first, leaving you with an aching heart and moving on with his eternal life.

You felt a hand come up to your cheek, holding it softly as the sweetest melody came from his lips, “I’m gonna miss you madly once I’m back there, you know?” At that, you can’t help the deep anger that fills you from inside, a feeling that expresses through icy, stinging words, as you turned your head away from his touch, “I’m sure you’ll move on in no time.”

He frowned. That wasn’t the reaction he expected from you at all, but he didn’t really take it personally, it was so obvious that there was something troubling you. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” your voice is louder, a mixture of frustration and anger. But also so much sadness, that can be felt by just how strained the sound that came from your throat is, almost as if you were fighting back tears. You swallow hard, trying to recollect yourself, “I mean that you are a God, I am just a mortal. One of many. I’ve got nothing special to be remembered for, to be remembered by you for the rest of eternity. And Im okay with it, really. Our destinies were never meant to combine, I was just another one of your lovers.” As you spoke those last words you couldn’t help but let the tears flow from your eyes, those who always looked at Lester with a mix of love and mischief, now only filled with a never ending sadness.

Slowly, as to avoid scaring you off, the renewed god took your wet face in his warm hands, pulling you closer and wiping your tears off at the same time. Gently, he spoke: “My love, you couldn’t have said anything more wrong. You are special to me, and I could never forget you. In thousands of years that I’ve existed, no one had ever treated like you did, like I wasn’t a god. Sure, it was temporary and you knew I could’ve incinerated you as soon as I got back to… this.” He looked down, gesturing at his body, a sight for sore eyes that could’ve really made you unfocus on anything were you not so taken by your talk with Apollo at the moment. “But that didn’t stop you from treating me like we were equal. And I hated it, at first. I thought it would be part of my punishment. But as time passed, I realized that being your equal was the highest of honors I could ever get. You’re… you’re crazy strong, incredibly smart, unbelievably beautiful, way too kind for your own good, especially with those brats of the kids in this Camp.”

You giggled at his words, a consistent contrast with your tearful eyes and quiet sobs, “Some of those brats are your children too, genius.” “Well then it must run in the family.” You laughed again while shaking your head, but only for a moment before returning your full attention on the boy in front of you. He took the sign to continue.

“What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think I could ever be able to let you go. Over all the lovers I had through the years, which I’m sure you know are many, you’re the only one that saw me and treated me with true love and care. Not with fearful devotion, never fearing what I was capable of. I only ever saw this kind of love in Sally Jackson, and I mocked Poseidon for letting a mortal like many treat him so casually. But now, now I get it, and to be honest I can’t help but think that you’d deserve to be called a deity far more than many others who already are. Maybe even more than me. So I refuse to ever let go of this blessing that fate has given me. And if in order to do so I have to take your soul and put it on the sky above, to rest as a star forever by my side, so be it. But trust me you’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

You crumbled like a sand castle at his words, that he spoke with the very same tone, on the very same spot when you still called him Lester, and you promised to stick by each other’s side for the time you had left, only a few months before this whole encounter. You let your head fall into his broad chest, sobbing softly as you desperately clung to him. Your tears weren’t of sadness anymore, but of relief, for you had just been given the confirmation that your lover was still yours.You spent the rest of the night there, cuddling as close to eachother as possible as you rested in peace. 

The morning after, at dawn, when he had to officially go back to his daily duties, he begrudgingly got up from his place in your arms, placing butterfly kisses on your arms and neck, careful not to wake you. He left a little not right next to you, one that read: 

“I had to go, didn’t want to wake your pretty face this early in the morning.  Meet me here at dusk tomorrow, Forever yours,  A.”

It made you smile, seeing that note as soon as you opened your eyes, almost made you forget the lack of your boyfriend next to you,… and the yelling of your friends and siblings calling for your name in the distance.

You wasted no time walking towards those voices, and when they asked you just where the hell have you been all night, you just smiled and brushed it off, but everyone noticed how your usual bright self had mysteriously came back after days of brooding.

Hours later, you were calmly eating dinner with the other campers, laughing and talking and eating seemingly decent food. You were totally clueless as to where exactly Apollo was, but you guessed he was on his chariot, on his way to let the sun set and go to your secluded spot. But little did you know, he was in neither of those places. He was actually walking up to Zeus’ throne, tall and proud as he respectfully bowed to his father. “Apollo, I see it took you no time to get used to your old life once more. I trust you have learned your lesson.”

“Indeed, father. And I came here to thank you for it all. It was… better than I expected.” Zeus lifted a brow suspiciously, eyeing his son as if trying to make out what’s in his mind just by his appearance. “Mmh I hardly believe that you only came here to thank me for your punishment.” “Heh, you’re not wrong, father. I came here to make a request.”

“Depends. What is it that you desire?”

“How do you make a demigod immortal?”

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt8

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

A/N: First I wanted to say thank you to everyone for all the kind messages I've been receiving, I keep rereading them and tearing up. It lets me know that there are genuine people in the world and that I can take a few days or a week to finish a request. Sorry this part took a bit longer due to the short break I took, I'll try my best to get the request I have out in a timely manner!

warnings: cursing

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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A drive to Lily's that normally would've taken 25 minutes depending on traffic only took Lando 10 and I think the way he is flooring it right now has been the fastest he's ever driven in his life. I mean anyone could've easily mistaken him for Max Verstappen in this moment and rightfully so, my bastard of an ex-boyfriend and baby dad is an absolute dick for what he just did.

I get being upset that I'm pregnant and that my boyfriend right now is treating me 10x better than you ever will but actually spoiling the gender for us AND spoiling the fact that I'm carrying twins is on another level of insanity.

When we dropped Yelena off, Lily had told us she wasn't going to be expecting a baby pick up anytime soon. Which by the way, God bless Lily for just being able to drop whatever she had planned for today to be able to watch my kid while Lando and I dealt with baby daddy drama.

The blaring sound of a ringtone is what yanked me from deep in my thoughts. I picked up the phone to look at the caller ID before answering and placing it on speaker "Carlos, now is really not a good time". I said while running a hand over my face to try and ease some tension building up.

"Logan's at my place." Lando's knuckled gripped the steering wheel tighter at the mention of his name.

"Why is he there and why does he need to have a conversation with you present?" I questioned

"He told me to tell you and Lando to meet him here to talk to you but wants me present and he thinks Lando is going to kill him." Carlos started, doubt coating his voice as he talked.

"I FUCKING AM" Lando screamed as he pressed down on the gas pedal harder.

I’ve seen Lando upset and even angry before but what I was seeing from him right now wasn’t either of those, this was pure hatred. Lando was seeing pure red in his vision as he was driving, almost hit a pedestrian (who shouldn’t have crossed but people don’t pay attention to signs).

Now that Lando knows he has to book it to Carlos’ place instead of Logan’s he makes a sharp turn, which could’ve easily flipped the car if you weren’t as much of a skilled driver as Lando is.

"BABE! I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AND ALL BUT DON'T CRASH THIS CAR AND KILL ALL 4 OF US!" I screamed as I grabbed ahold of the center console

Something about the fear in my voice as I screamed at Lando seemed to get through this barrier of red he had coating him and he seemed to ease up on the steering wheel and drove a bit more safer.

-

Arriving at Carlos house, we were greeted with Carlos standing out front. Lando and I got out of the car and started making our way to the front door of Carlos' luxurious house while Carlos started walking towards us, meeting us halfway.

"Ay, I talk to Logan. He meant no harm pero I think he did. He is in the living room." Carlos said as he patted Lando's tense shoulder before turning his attention to me. "I'm so sorry Logan did what he did. I feel so bad but just know that I'm here for you with whatever you need." Carlos added while he pulled me into a hug.

I've always loved Carlos' hugs because of the level of comfort they always brought was just unmatched. If you're sad, have a Carlos hug, if you're happy, have a Carlos hug, if you don't want a hug, have a Carlos hug. Moral of the story: a Carlos hug can fix everything. Well, almost everything.

"Thank you Carlos, I really needed that hug. I just-" The sound of glass breaking is what caused me to stop mid-sentence and I turned to look over at my boyfriend, only to find him no where in sight.

My heart dropped to my feet when I was met with no sign of my boyfriend and all I could hear from a distance was arguing. Carlos wasted no time in spinning on his heels and running into his house and into the living room where all the arguing was taking place.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IN YOUR MIND, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO SPOIL A FUCKING GENDER REVEAL BY POSTING IT ON INSTAGRAM AND ON TOP OF THAT SPOILING THE FACT THAT WE'RE HAVING FUCKING TWINS!!!" the voice of Lando booming louder as I inched closer to Carlos' living room.

"I DID IT BECAUSE YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! YOU TOOK MY BABY, MY LIFE, MY GIRL, YOU TOOK IT ALL! I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!" Logan shouted in rebuttal, his face contorted in a way I've never seen before and his skin as red as a tomato.

When our eyes locked, I could see Logan's eyes soften but when he opened his mouth to say something, Lando cut him off.

"I DIDN'T 'TAKE' YOUR GIRL, I SHOWED HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN A HOUSE WHERE SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DOING SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER EVERY MOVE. I SHOWED HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN A HAPPY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, I SHOWED HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LOVED BY A REAL MAN! I SHOWED HER EVERYTHING YOU COULDN'T AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE A COWARD!" that seemed to set Logan off because the second the word "coward" came spilling out of Lando's mouth, Logan lunged towards him in an angry manner.

Before they could make any type of contact, Carlos was in the middle trying to set some type of boundaries between them.

"YOU GUYS ARE NOT FIGHTING IN MY HOUSE! LOGAN, OUT NOW! BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!" That seemed to be enough for Logan to walk away but not before stopping in front of me, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath against my skin.

"I hope I never see you again until your fucking funeral, slut." Logan walked away brushing his shoulder past mine as he did.

I knew Logan felt some type of way towards me since I left him while I was pregnant and refused to give in to all his promises of being a better man for me but hearing those words coming out of his mouth hurt. I always hoped we would be able to work it out for the sake of Yelena but after what he said, I don't know if we can, even if I wanted to.

Everything after what Logan said was blur, I don't remember him leaving, I don't remember Lando running after him and Carlos after Lando, but more importantly, I don't remember my legs giving out under my weight and me collapsing to the ground.

All at once everything started to hit me like a semi-truck. The pain in my knees after the fall, the ache in my heart but also the excruciating pain in my abdomen.

"BABE?! BABY ARE YOU OKAY? CARLOS GET THE CAR STARTED! WE HAVE TO TAKE Y/N TO THE HOSPITAL!"

-

The whole car ride to the hospital had to be the worst 15 minutes of my life. Every bump or sudden brake of the car increased the pain in my abdomen by 10. At one point it literally felt like there was an elephant sitting on me, restricting my oxygen intake.

When we finally arrived, Carlos quickly parked in front of the ER doors before rushing inside. Less than 30 seconds after running into the hospital, a group of doctors and nurses came running outside with a gurney.

Seeing them, Lando swung the car door open and quickly got out, allowing them better access to get to me.

Getting transferred from the back seat of the car to the gurney hurt just as suspected but they quickly rushed me in so they could evaluate my symptoms to tell me what's wrong.

No matter how much pain medication they gave me, the pain was still too much to bear.

"Do you want us to give you something to sedate you?" The student doctor said. She sounded genuinely hurt at hearing how much pain I was in.

"YES! PLEASE, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" I screamed and I watched as she grabbed the vile of liquid.

Just as the student doctor was done giving me the sedative, I heard the doctor come in.

"So, unfortunately I've got some ba-AH NO! WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER?"

"I- Uh, Gave her a sedative?"

"YOU'RE NEVER SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITHOUT CONSULTING ME! THE SEDATIVE IS GOING TO DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD!" that was all I heard before slipping into unconsciousness.

-

After I fell unconscious and was of no use, my doctor made his way to the waiting room to have a talk with Lando in order to figure out the steps going forward.

Once Lando locked eyes with the doctor, he shot up from his seat "Doc, how is she??" Lando asked as he searched the doctors face for answers.

"Unfortunately your girlfriend has a rare condition that affects the babies called Monochorionic Twins, which is where the babies share the same placenta and amniotic sac which can cause tangling of umbilical cords, imbalance of nutrients, blood and problems to other vital organs. Your girlfriend also has a history of major bleeding, vomiting and dehydration during pregnancy which also puts her at risk. We have to operate to save them, the babies have a 25% chance of survival and would have to be in the NICU for many months whereas your girlfriend has a 75% of surviving with minimal damage to any part of her reproductive system. " the doctor started, he tried to look and sound as sympathetic as possible.

"What are you saying Doc?" Lando asked, his breath and hands shaky and his knees trembled beneath him.

"You have to choose who we save, your babies or your girlfriend."

-

Again, thank you guys so much for the overwhelming amount of support I've received in the past few days. I appreciate and love each and every single one of you guys and I hope you enjoy this part.

Unfortunately this series is coming to an end soon but I really don't want to say goodbye to it yet.

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v

[the-badger-mole]

@allnewalldifferentwildspider

I will say, I think it's interesting when people say that arguing that the finale and Kataang happening the way it was just giving Aang what he wanted is somehow us taking Katara's agency away. Katara was rightfully angry with Aang in her last two encounters with him. Giving her agency within that narrative would look like her actually having a conversation with Aang and telling him how she felt. I don't just mean romantically, I mean having an actual conversation where her conflict with him is laid out and resolved, like it would be in any healthy friendship, and much more a healthy romance. People can argue that they had a conversation off screen. That's fine. I will never tell anyone they can't headcanon whatever they please. It's none of my business unless they make it my business. Have so much fun. Don't even think about me or my opinions. They don't matter.

However, she never had that conversation. It's not in the show. It's not in the comics. It's not canon. The way her moment of "oh, I like him" was set up implied that she only considered him romantically because he ostensibly singlehandedly "saved the day" (he most certainly did not). There's never a moment where she gets to be vulnerable with him and have him help her carry her burden. No moment of why she might like him romantically (and also, may I add, we never see what, aside from her looks, Aang likes about Katara). Any "build up" of Kataang on her end is largely done through external circumstances and not the result of her coming to understand her feelings (this from the passionate girl who wears her heart on her sleeve for the entire series). They are also never again brought up by her- and the times it brought up by Aang in canon are disastrous (Lava Fissure Incident. EIP. Arguably DoBS). Katara never has a chance to confront Aang on his blatant disrespect of her culture, and it's never walked back- in fact, IIRC, in the comics, he supports the soft colonization of the SWT by the NWT.

I can understand why people have the headcanon that Katara and Aang had a deep conversation off-screen that resolved all their issues and gave Katara a chance to tell him she liked him and why. I think that if you ship them, you kind of have to headcanon something like that. But I do not think canon supports it. Their deep conversations center Aang and his feelings. Katara's feelings never seem to matter that much to Aang. He didn't even care that Katara and Sokka had lost their father to the Fire Nation after Hakoda sacrificed himself to save Aang's stupid behind. He wanted to go run off and play. Our hero, ladies and babies. There has to be a lot of head canoning to make Kataang work. I know because everything I hate about Aang and Kataang is canon. If I'm basing Kataang on the canon, it looks just like the glimpses we get in LoK, only with a lot less hero worship of Aang.

Don't get me wrong, all the overt romance in Zutara is pure headcanon. I recognize that and I love that for us. What's not head canon is that Zuko shows Katara a ton of support and respect in their short onscreen friendship. And at the risk of upsetting Aang's fans, I will argue Zuko showed her feelings more consideration than Aang ever did in the entire series.

[ci0zi0]

INANIMATE INSANITY S2 18 SPOILERS

A ramble time

Okay so.. the beginning scene of the episode where the karma song played..

Mephone4's mental state is shattered, and he's thinking back to the past. The previous seasons, the contestants he had made..

But the scene that made me think the most was where he took the auditions.

This is Mephone4's thought process and mental state, this entire scene.

Right here, Mephone4 is drowning in his guilt and mistakes. A happy little idea, just forming into something horrible and corrupt. Ruining the mentalities of so many people around him.

The guilt is overwhelming.

The way certain people's expressions shift (Paintbrush starts angry and shifts to a more saddened expression as they pass)

And the change of expressions from joy to overall despair when they pass HIM.

The fact he can visualize how the contestants would appear upset at him is.. agh..

This is all conjured by him, since not everyone had such a reaction like this. He wasn't even there to them in person. (Most of the Bright Lights didn't even learn the truth until later in the episode - Test Tube, Fan, Lightbulb; yet we see them raging at Mephone4 all the same.)

He really does know his creations, and knows how rightfully upset they should be toward him.

This scene especially made me go agghh...

Lightbulb and Tissues specifically.

Lightbulb is the most angry we have ever seen her. She's been saddened in episode 15, but not to this degree.

Mephone is literally visualizing her to being this upset. The most cheery, happy contestant in the game.

Knowing all the contestants are in a way Mephone4's ways to escapism, fun ideas to run away.. Lightbulb being the one here to look so tired and angry is so out of her nature.

Mephone4 literally cannot invision anyone happy with him, not even the most cheery goofy character.

The depiction of Lightbulb really shows how dark and depressing the loss of everyone is to Mephone4. There's no bright light here.

She's even angry in the story board. Meaning this was intentional.

As for Tissues, his face isn't even shown in this scene. It's as if he's avoiding Mephone4, looking away from him and not giving him a glance.

Mephone4 knew he messed up the most with Tissues. A silly idea!! It ruined a person.

Can't even dare look at Tissues in this scene or imagine his face.

Because you know if Tissues was given a face, it'd be the most pained.

Lastly there's the words in the back. The traits he had given his creations. HIS hand writing.

In a way... I feel like these traits can also be described to Mephone4. As creations can be an extention to yourself.

Then there's this moment where Mephone4 falls off Crappy Cliff. This scene is so symbolic honestly.

He's usually the one telling the contestants to jump off, and now he's the one falling. The contestants look down on him as he falls, shadows obscuring them.

He made them fall so deep into despair and into the fakeness of the reality show.. and now their faces are gone. They're gone.

Hes alone.

And all he can do in that moment is think about all the wrong hes done to these people he created.

Everything that led up to this. How he kept running from his problems and caused so many people to just die to his abuser. All because he wanted to escape.

And because he wasn't vocal and honest.

He could've been better than Cobs. But was he really?

The pain, disbelief and shock in Mephone4 just... speaks millions. And with the scene of all the contestants yelling at him... angry at him...

This phone deserved that hug from Mephone3gs.

God.

[chaifootsteps]

that just an oreo vid pointed out yet more ways the episode doesn't work that I didn't even pick up on at first

specifically he points out the episode frames Verosika as being in the right for being mad at Blitz breaking up with her and it being OK for her to be endlessly hung up and bitter at him over it

but when Blitz is rightfully upset that Stolas starts making out with someone else right in front of him after acting like he wanted to work things out between them, Verosika tells him to stop and that being a better person means just letting go of all his anger immediately

besides Verosika knowing nothing about what actually happened between Stolas and Blitz, it's another double standard - Verosika, Stolas and a whole party full of people can be angry at and hung up on Blitz for as long as they want for whatever petty reason they chose (Dennis is there, after all) and it's totally a therapy group session and not petty at all

but Blitz isn't allowed to be frustrated with or annoyed at Stolas for ditching him to make out with someone else literal seconds after he gave Stolas the apology the owl had been psychologically battering him for all episode???

it feels dumb even analysing it, because the answer is so obviously: anything anyone wants to do or say to Blitz is fair game, even if they weren't actually dating (naming no names, Stolas) but any feeling he has in return is invalid - in fact it's proof of his immaturity and fear of commitment

I already thought Apology Tour was bad but I was willing to look at the Verosika scene as the high point of the episode. in hindsight that was just because it was the one part of the episode outside of the apology montage that didn't have Stolas in it.

It really feels like Blitz is in an abusive relationship with both the show itself and his own creator. his feelings just don't matter anymore; they're only ever proof of how bad he is that he doesn't just sacrifice his autonomy immediately to shove himself down into the small space of being Stolas' romantic fantasy that the show has decided is the only acceptable path for him and the only way he can have character development that's good or acceptable

It's all true, and it makes for a completely joyless viewing experience. Not only will Blitzo never escape his abusive relationship, he won't even be allowed the respite of having his feelings acknowledged as valid. He's just unequivocally wrong, and if you feel otherwise, then Viv doesn't like you as an audience member much and she doesn't care who knows it.

[azelmaandeponine]

There is a think about the Journal 3 that always bothered me and is that Ford write "Perhaps he can yet prove his worth to me." when he was talking about ask Stan for help, like if he did not see Stan as worth. Because, this person basically calling Stan worthless, didn't sound to me like the same person who remembers Stan and misses him. But then talking to my friend, they made me understand that this might be due to the conflict the two had and the smear campaign that Ford had to deal with regarding his brother.

Ford missed Stan and still loved him deeply, of course he did, but reminiscing about someone is not incompatible with thinking lowly about them. People can have conflicting opinions and feelings about other people, I know I do. People are complicated like that.

Ford was still angry at Stan and still feeling betrayed by him, even though he didn't hate him. He still really pissed off at him about what he assumed was a deliberately sabotage by Stan's part and of course Ford had every right to be upset. Something he worked hard on was broken and what’s worse it was broken by someone he loved and trusted. It doesn’t matter that it was an accident, he was rightfully angry. Stan also never apologized to Ford. Ford came home, understandably pissed that a great opportunity had been taken from him and what Stan did? He told Ford to look on the bright side because now him got to spend the rest of his days with him treasure hunting, the one who Ford believed sabotaged him in the first place.

We also can't exactly blame Ford for thinking about his brother that way after basically spent his whole life fighting a losing battle against a Stan Smear Campaign. In Pines Brothers: The Jersey Devil's in the Details, everyone around him points to Stan and says "this guy is a fuck up, you're better than him and hey, here's proof of him being the worst". Stan also has a conflict avoidant behavior with his honest mistakes, which only makes him looks more guilty. So, by the time of the science fair incident, the smear campaign has won and shaped his vision of Stan.

But I don't know, what you think? I am really trying to make this "Perhaps he can yet prove his worth to me." making sense.

While that line has generated some...discourse (and even I have seriously mixed feelings about including it at all), I do think it's important to keep in mind that a) Ford was raised in an environment where love was transactional, and b) Ford also loves Stan unconditionally. Naturally, he's going to have trouble reconciling those two things, and Ford's complex and mixed feelings towards Stan after their falling out is just adding fuel to the fire.

(Because yes, you can be angry and bitter towards someone but still love them.)

And on top of all of those factors, Ford's mental state was a mess when he wrote that. It's not an excuse (but it's important to keep in mind both Stan and Ford fucked up), but it does offer an explanation/mitigating factor. I also think that it's clear Ford didn't mean that. I think we've all thought things we didn't mean before.

And yes, Ford was justified in still being angry at Stan. Because yes, while it had been ten years, time is not an apology. Ultimately, I think the best way to approach that line is to consider it a result of how Ford and Stan were brought up, their falling out and the lingering feels of betrayal and resentment from that, and Ford's mental state at the time.

[waffleboyy]

Oooh you make a point of how forgiving Hazel is for Dev, i love them both but ur right lmfo. Maybe she’s so forgiving as she has a therapist for a mum? And she’s more aware of how someone can come to be so mean because of life experiences than other kids her age. There comes a point where you’ve tried all you can tho and then it’s up to the other person. I think a good way to make it seem less one sided is to have Hazel do something that DEV must forgive her for! For 1- good growth for Dev! For 2- makes Hazel more interesting (I adore her dw she’s good as she is but this could ADD even more to her y’know?) and more real I guess. Which makes me wonder WHAT Hazel could do that would have her need to be forgiven, maybe trying to be helpful and kind like her mum she’ll pry too much with Dev? Try to ‘fix’ him vibes?’ What do you think?

Ohhhh.... I like this idea, yes. I feel like Hazel doesn't have as many flaws as dev (obviously cuz he's a neglected brat lol) like we know she struggles with thinking that maybe people only like her cuz they feel bad as was briefly stated in that one episode, (can't remember AUGH) she's also very quick to come to conclusions, and some other stuff too I can't think of right now.

I definetly think she would try to be more supportive and help him bunches but Hazel also knows when to quit as seen in the birthday episode. In my head it would be like the dimmadome founders day episode, like when dev was trying to save Hazel from being spotted by the au pairs by taking her hat, but eventually Hazel takes it the wrong way and believes that dev was just being a jerk.

....So.. hear me out. What if Dale kidnaps Cosmo and wanda? (I know dev doesn't know fairies exist now but JUST FOR THIS SCENARIO OKAY LOL) I'm not sure exactly how or what would happen, but dev finds Cosmo and wanda captured in some sort of device that's slowly killing them since they can't make wishes. They're sick and in pain, rainbow vomit all over their clothes and dev is hastily trying to get whatever's captured them to let loose, pulling buttons and levers. because he knows those are hazels fairies, and he knows that she loves them, she deserves them, he wants to be a good friend he needs to not screw up this one time and--

Peri and hazel burst through a door, Peri was almost captured by Dale but was able to escape, gathering Hazel up to help him in the process. They see dev near Cosmo and wanda, dying, and hazel just snaps.

Seeing her god parents hurt makes her so upset, angry, Peri quickly flies over and scrambles to set them free, meanwhile Hazel has a word with dev, talking about how this is the second time, and questioning why can't he ever be nice? Why did he target her fairies specifically? Why her? Why was he always picking on her? She says that she knows that Dale isn't kind but hurting her and her innocent god parents isn't gonna help, she tells him she's angry and sad, she thought they were friends and that she could trust him, dev tries to explain himself but Hazel has just had enough (rightfully so, even if this time it wasn't dev's fault) she says he's a jerk, and he should leave her alone forever, even at school, and she regrets even trying to be friends with him ..

Uh anyway...yeah, I LOVE MISUNDERSTANDINGS! AMAYBE I'll draw this lol

[citysweet]

BABE BABE can you do a fic of elisa where she is mad at her SO but all her SO can think about is how hot elisa is when she’s angry.. omfg thinking abt her mad makes me giggle lol

一 the waiter

《 wc: 482

《 sorry this took so long, i hope you like it angel <33

《 suggestive towards the end!!

you really didn't mean to, in fact you didn't think it would bother her as much as it did. and so when you get home from your coffee date with elisa, she was rightfully upset after seeing the waiter blatantly flirt with you. especially when you didn't do anything to stop them. 

to be fair, you hadn't even noticed. but what you did notice was the way she dropped her bag and walked off instead of pulling you into her embrace like she usually does when you two arrive home. 

you kick off your shoes before following her into your shared bedroom. she silently walks into the closet and you sit down on the bed, watching as she walks out with a pair of clothes. she tugs her shirt over her head hurriedly, about to remove her bottoms until you call for her. 

“eli?” her hands stop at her hips and you reach for her fingers, locking both your index fingers with hers. her hands are tense in yours and her eyes are low and darker than usual. if anyone else looked at you like that, you’d most definitely be somewhat uncomfortable. 

but something about the way she looked sent a tingle down your spine and a funny feeling in your stomach. “yes?” you can hear the tone of her voice, but it's different from when she's mad at others. 

you bite back a grin, trying to ignore the heat pooling in your stomach. “something wrong love?” you ask, then she looks down at you. “go ask your new partner.” she snaps and your brows furrow. 

“who?” you ask and she rolls her eyes. you almost feel guilty for letting the way she reacts affect you the way it is. you fight the feeling to clench your thighs, watching the way her short hair falls when she looks back at you. 

“the waiter.” she mumbles and it makes sense now. you let a giggle slip, raising a hand to cover your mouth. her gaze hardens and she moves her hands from yours. only to suddenly (but gently) grab your chin between her two fingers. “you think it's funny, amour?” 

her tone makes you stop laughing, now looking into her eyes bashfully. you shake your head, words caught in your throat. she steps forward, and you step backwards until your back hits the wall behind you. “hm?” her other hand drops to your waist, her fingers digging into your skin.

“no..” you mumble, feeling small under her stare. a smirk grows on her lips and she leans closer to you, her breath softly fanning against your face. “need me to remind you who's you are, cheri?” she asks and her smirk only grows when you nod. 

before you know it, her lips are on your neck and your legs are around her waist. once the night is over, you’re silently thanking that waiter. 

© citysweet 12:24 031324

一 don't expect long fics from me 😁

[flight-of-the-sacred-eagle]

So, I’m still yelling about Sonic Prime season 2. It’s. So fucking good?

And not just because someone on the writing team 100% ships Sonadow because, holy crap, so much of that episode feels shippy.

So, full disclosure. Shadow is my favorite Sonic character. Ever since I saw him in Heroes I loved him. As a kid I didn’t notice the real “constantly shifting character” thing. Now, having played almost every major 3d Sonic game (I didn’t play Forces and refused to play Boom), having watched shows like Sonic X and Sonic Prime (again, I stayed away from Boom but I’ve heard it’s amazing), I think it’s obvious that he gets wildly mischaracterized.

He’s angsty, yes. I mean, he watched his child best friend/sister get shot to death in front of him when he was… five (Look, he’s simultaneously Sonic’s age, over 50, and like five- his age is an enigma), that would make anyone angsty. But he’s also genuinely caring, even if he rarely shows it.

Look no further than 06 when he accidentally releases Mephelis because he picks up Rogue to move her away, or when he intercepts Silver so Sonic can go save Elise. He’s actively saved the world three times- SA2, Shadow the Hedgehog, and 06, with him sacrificing his life in his first appearance. And let’s not forget how he genuinely seemed upset in 06 when Sonic died.

Actually, 06 is the best characterization of Shadow since his introduction. And it can basically all be summed up in his own words. “If the whole world chooses to turn against me, then I’ll fight like I always have.”

He’s brooding. He’s harsh. He’s proud and independent. But by god will he fight to the death for what is right. He cares about people, but he uses actions not words.

Now, what does this have to do with Sonic Prime? Well, this is probably the best characterization of Shadow they’ve ever done. He’s still broody and much more reserved, but everything he’s doing is selfless. He’s not beating up Sonic just because.

He’s beating up Sonic because he, rightfully in my mind, sees Sonic as a threat to his world. He isn’t trying to prevent Sonic from saving the world, he’s basically trying to put him in time out for ruining the world.

This is more than proven when he not only realizes that he can’t do something, but he also realizes that the only way to fix everything is to work together. And he actively admit that. Reluctantly, yes, but he says they need to work together.

He’s still angry and is currently furious at Sonic, but… he kind of has the right to be. Interestingly, he actually spoke to Sonic before fighting him (which, side note, was animated amazingly).

And let’s not forget his cockiness. It’s done perfectly. He’s not taking it too far like Sonic tends to do, but him being a smug little shit is great. And I think it really helps to show the dynamic he and Sonic have because he’s just. Not like that around other characters.

Without using words, they managed to show that, despite the fighting that’s happening, there’s a bond between Sonic and Shadow. One that can only be forged by fighting to save the world side by side.

I think it’s also important to mention that Shadow clearly was enjoying his fight with Sonic. Probably because it’s the most normal thing he’s experienced in forever. His friends are gone. Green Hill is gone. The chaos emerald is gone (though I have a suspicion that it’s going to come back at some point. It fell into the void for a reason and that void was shown for a reason. My bet is that they’re going to need to enter the void at some point). He’s trapped in limbo.

Fighting Sonic is a constant. One he desperately needs.

I know I’ve been rambling but for the first time in over a decade, they’ve gotten Shadow’s personality perfectly. Makes me wonder if the writers, or at least some of them, played SA2 growing up. After all… it’s been long enough since he was introduced that the target audience for SA2 when it was released would be old enough to work for the SEGA team.

It also makes me crazy excited for the third Sonic movie. I know they’re different writers, but they have hit the nail on the head with each character, and if a different show can characterize Shadow that well… maybe Sega is relaxing their iron grip on him and allowing him to actively shine.

Also that scene with Shadow falling to the void and Sonic sounding genuinely panicked was amazing. You can tell he was getting SA2 flashbacks. Someone likened the scene to Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man watching MJ fall in No Way Home and catching her when he couldn’t catch Gwen, and yeah. The emotional impact seems to be the same.

Sonic couldn’t save Shadow then, but he can save him now.

Just… go watch Prime if you haven’t. Sonic fans have been treated well these past few years and I can’t wait to see what comes next.

[feyhunter78]

Chapter Eleven - Security footage reveals an unpleasant truth and Miguel makes a move Ch 12

Y/N: Miguel, you didn’t need to get me flowers, that was so sweet, thank you!

Miguel smiles and sends you a quick message back before pulling up the surveillance feed and accompanying text Kasey sent him.

Kasey: Dude is an absolute loser, my condolences to y/n, but are you sure you want to do this?

Miguel: It’s in her best interest, thanks for your help, good luck in Vermont.

It takes no time to send the security footage of Todd and Kasey to your phone along with a short message from him explaining how sorry he was to have to show you it, that Kasey fessed up because she felt so guilty.

He has to be there, has to console you if you need consoling. He knows you, knows that even though you want to leave Todd, seeing him cheat on you will break your heart.

Miguel stands outside your office, and even if he didn’t have enhanced hearing, he’d be able to hear the argument you’re having.

Raised voices, accusations thrown back and forth, you’re upset, rightfully so, Todd had cheated on you, with more than just a kiss, and he showed no remorse.

“No, are you fucking serious? You cheated on me.” Your voice is angry, seething, marked with hysterical laughter. “I’ve got the fucking footage right in front of me.”

“You’d really believe some random grainy footage over me? It’s probably photoshopped.” Todd says.

You scoff. “Photoshopped? Why would someone photoshop this, who would even do that? You think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

“No, no, I’m not saying that, I’m just saying I’m hurt you don’t trust me.”

“You’re so—I can’t even—I’m done, I’m done, you know what? We’re done, it’s over, don’t ever fucking call me again.”

“You know what, call me when you’re done with your temper tantrum, then we can talk about this like adults.” Todd snaps.

“No, we’re done, it’s over.”

Todd laughs, “I see what this is. You’re just doing this so you don’t look like the bad guy, so you can go off and mess around with your fucking coworker.”

“Are you serious? You cheated on me with said coworker’s date.”

“No, I didn’t, it wasn’t like that.”

“I saw it with my own eyes, you can’t make me think I’m crazy. We’re over, Todd, leave me alone.” Then you hang up, throwing your phone onto your office couch and burying your face in your hands.

Miguel waits a few seconds then knocks on your door as he opens it slowly. “Y/N, everything alright?”

He expected you to be crying, to be heartbroken, but you simply look angry, and almost relieved.

“Yeah, I—Todd cheated on me, he tried to act like I was crazy and just making it up, but I mean you know it happened, you literally sent me the footage. Thanks for that, by the way.”

You let him gather you up in a hug, closing the blinds to your office window, and locking the door behind him without you noticing. “You deserved to know.”

You nod, face pressed to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around him. “I know I’ll be sad later, but I’m just so glad that it’s over. And I’m so mad that he tried to deny it, he literally tried to gaslight me.”

Miguel smooths down your hair, humming in response.

“I just want him to hurt, but I don’t know how. Maybe I could slash his tires or put sugar in his gas tank?”

He pulls back slightly, the venom in your voice is intoxicating, he wants to see the inferno raging in your eyes.

Miguel, he thinks I’m doing this to get with Miguel, what if… Your thoughts are swirling, fantasies and revenge plots forming and unraveling as you mull your options, deciding if you have the courage.

“Use me.” He says, drawing your attention back to him. “As a man, there’s nothing worse than knowing the woman I lost is…engaging in intimacy with someone else, someone better than me, or receiving something I didn’t.”

He’s practically salivating. The images in your mind are salacious, ranging from a simple picture of his cock resting on your tongue, to a short clip of you riding him, moaning, and mewling for him, the camera focusing on the way you take his cock so well, how it stretches you out.

“I don’t know, wouldn’t that maybe be dangerous, like what if he takes it and posts it somewhere?”

“He won’t, trust me.” He cups your cheek, thumb caressing the soft skin. And he’ll delete the images from Todd’s phone immediately after Todd sees them.

You lean into his touch, and he can feel your arousal, a slight trickle, building slowly as your mind continues swirling through lewd images and ideas. “And you would be okay with it? I don’t want you to do this because you feel obligated, or sorry for me.”

“I offered, and I meant it.” He says, meeting your gaze, searching.

You shake your head and step out of his embrace. “No, no, I can’t that’s crazy. I’m not going to stoop to his level. Besides, if we did do something and send it to him, then that just proves him right.”

He mourns the loss of your warmth, the feel of your skin on his, but you’re right. He’d never want to give Todd the satisfaction of knowing he was right, of having something that like to hold over your head. “I understand.”

“I think I’ll just block him on everything and be done with it.” You say firmly, quickly blocking and deleting Todd from your phone.

You’re a better person than him, always have been and in this moment, he wishes you weren’t. Wishes you would’ve gotten on your knees for him, let him take a photo of his heavy cock resting on your tongue, or let him split you apart, juices dripping, wetting his skin, as you sang so prettily for him.

He allows you to step further out of his orbit, regaining your self-control, shyness falling over you like a thick veil. There’s nothing stopping you two now, no barrier, no mortal man, and he can sense how anxious and out to sea that makes you feel.

“Can I take you to dinner, an actual dinner, with food we both like, and no unwanted guests?” Miguel asks, reining in his own self-control, he’ll push his desires aside, he’ll always push them aside when it comes to you, to the fragility of your emotions in these vulnerable moments.

You fiddle with the edge of your phone case, not quite meeting his eyes, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I’d love that.”

TL:@obi-mom-kenobi, @poutysprouty, @oharasfilipinawife, @laysmt, @cicithemess, @unabashedcroissanttreefan, @lynxslokley, @thedevax, @generalkenobitrash, @keiva1000, @wilmontana987

[thewalrusespublicist]

John and Julian has been repeatedly discussed in terms of their estrangement and John’s neglect (and Yoko’s financial maneuvers against him) but how do you think their relationship might’ve played out had he not been killed? I’ve just read that looong post you reblogged on their history and it’s surprisingly one of the few detailed research of their dynamic. It seems as if their relationship was characterized by a mutual desire for closeness but due to traumas (John abandoning him for one, John’s own struggles, and the focus on Julian’s financial or lack of arrangement). Just wondering as to how you see a relationship playing out in this au where John lives. Very interesting that Julian was actually quite similar to John in terms of teen rebellion and manipulation of his father (no negative connotation he was an emotionally hurt child). I do think because J&Y measured relationships and were to an extent emotionally stunted in a childhood state of ‘ME’ that it makes sense why they were able to easily put their needs first even when at the cost of a child. Especially one that came before they met the other. Makes me wonder what kind of regression or growth might’ve taken place. Especially when considering Yoko’s own daughter is still lost to her. And though John’s sons are…eccentric to say the least, the criticism towards Julian harping on his late father’s transgressions is tiring but unfortunately a very real example of what generational trauma means. Especially to those who know the feeling of having a parent leave by choice.

Hi anon!

Ooohh I don't want to be a downer in the festive period but I agree with so much of what you've said and think there would always be a lot of challenges if John had lived when it came to his relationships with both his children.

I think his dynamic with Julian in particular would be ... a mess. In one corner, you have an angry young man defensive about his mother and rightfully upset with the father he loves but who in many ways abandoned him. He wants to start something in music and feels entitled to something from said man. He also for very valid reasons and for some invalid reasons hates his stepmother and by nature has no real issue lashing out and being vocal. Add to this is a close relationship with his stepdad.

In the other corner you have an absent father who is capable of feeling immense guilt but his reaction to it is to double down and lash out. He is someone who loves and connects through music and wants to share that with the son he loves. He's also working under the illusion that any gulfs are due to his ex-wife's influence. At the same time however, he can't stand the idea of not being needed and withdraws support and becomes cruel if he feels a loved one is becoming too independent or if he feels anyone is taking his place. To defend his natural sweetness and vulnerability, he will overreact to any suspicions that he is being used. As you said, he is also sadly unable to put his child above his feelings and emotional volatility, no matter how much he perhaps wants to. To top this all off he loves his wife but more importantly he's built his entire identity about his love story with his wife being the centre of the universe and has worked incredibly hard PR-wise to cultivate this image.

That’s a lot of very volatile ingredients in this powder keg with a lot of different scenarios where it can go hideously wrong. Here's unfortunately what I think is a pretty plausible series of events if John lived and had stayed with Yoko:

John continues his 1980 attempts to get closer to Julian and works on music with him

Julian gets closer to his dad and wants his dad's support to launch his own music

John immediately gets religiously on board out of guilt/desire to connect/enthusiasm and shoots his nepo baby to the stars

John for either valid or invalid reasons gets paranoid and/or jealous about Julian being the younger, potentially more on the pulse version of himself and fears he may not need him or is using him. If he and Yoko are still together I can't imagine Yoko would help dispel this. As he's gotten closer to Julian he's also more aware of Julian's relationship with his stepdad. He lashes out as he always does.

Julian withdraws and/or retaliates. It escalates to the press where it goes to shit. John tears into Julian and Cynthia. Julian goes for the Ballad of John and Yoko and John's more abusive behaviour.

Stalemate/cool-off/soft jabs in the press period where John 'will never speak to him again for disprespecting Yoko' or some other front but actually goes through a far more hot-and-cold dependant on mood pattern with Julian.

Either both stick to tortured silence where John ‘doesn't care’ with that usual success rate or reconnects with Julian because both deep down really want this relationship, honeymoon period and pattern begins again.

Would this change for the better if he and Yoko split? Certainly yes but not entirely. John's issues with his children are his own and he would have needed intense counselling to deal with it. It makes me really sad to say it and who knows what curveballs would have come about in this AU which could have changed everything but with Julian's resentment and hurt and John's defensiveness and volitility, I can't see their dynamic do anything but consistently blow up in their faces.

[genderkoolaid]

Recently I have been encountering a number of people wrongly pinning their frustration with transandrophobia on trans women.

I am not saying this to decry the discussion of transandrophobia and I am aware this topic is mentioned in your pinned post,

I just believe this topic needs some attention and was interested in what you might have to say — especially if there's any message you'd like to send to those who may be slipping into a "us vs. them" perspective without realizing. (/np)

I guess my message is:

Blaming other trans people for your own group's oppression is a huge part of the reason the discussion around transandrophobia, especially online, is important. We can't be (rightfully) upset about being blamed for the trans communities transmisogyny (frequently just for talking about our own oppression), and then turn around and give the same treatment to trans women.

The thing we need to internalize is: the vast majority, if not all, of shitty behavior is born out of some kind of pain/fear. That doesn't justify it, but the hard truth is that if an animal is lashing out and hurting people, beating that animal isn't actually the best way to fix the problem long-term unless your goal is to kill every scared animal you come across. Its tempting to get bitter when other people, especially other people you should be able to trust, treat you badly and its tempting to write them off entirely as untrustworthy and dangerous. And no one should be forced to be play nice with someone who is treating them badly- you should be able to cut off those people when you need to. But when dealing with community issues in a marginalized group like this, we need to understand that we are all traumatized and scared and living in a society that wants us all dead or at least suffering. And right now, we are all screaming and kicking and biting each other and its not helping any of us get any safer or happier.

Get angry! Get betrayed! Let yourself be hurt that other trans people hurt you when we should be helping each other! You are entirely right to feel that way. But feeling =/= action. Let yourself feel without acting on that feeling, and then remind yourself that

The loudest assholes are not representative of every single person; especially when the loud assholes are often the reason other people don't speak openly

The people who hurt you are very likely just as hurt as you are, and letting yourself become just like them only perpetuates the cycle of lateral violence and keeps us oppressed. (Trans)unity is life.

And then resist the urge to do things like misrepresent arguments in extremely bad faith, or suicide-bait, or incorporate sweeping statements about trans women into your beliefs, or play into transmisogyny for the sake of "getting back" at either trans women who hurt or, worse, trans women who didn't have anything to do with them at all!!

There's a tendency for very hurt and angry people, especially those who have been forced to keep their pain silent and unvalidated, to hear stuff like "the people who hurt you were also in pain and deserve compassion and support" and immediately feel like they are being told that their pain doesn't matter, that everything that was done to them is excused, and the people who hurt them are the real victims. Which is why I stress that you need to let yourself feel how you feel, without acting on it or accepting it as objective truth. Repressing or resisting your feelings just makes them rot, and then when you do feel them, they are overwhelming and even harder to reason your way through. Let yourself have the time to deal with your frustration without taking it out on trans women- if that means not interacting with trans spaces (or just mixed-trans spaces), or not going on social media, then don't do those things. If you find yourself falling into transmisogynistic thoughts out of pain, take note of it, ask why you thought that, and then see how you can correct yourself (i.e "all trans women are bigoted and dangerous" -> "trans women are people and can be bigoted like anyone else, and the behavior of some has really hurt me, especially when others dont call it out"). Let your emotions happen while also keeping in mind the truth that unity is vital, and keep returning to that truth when you need a reminder.

When you are comfortable enough with how your pain that its validity doesn't feel threatened by acknowledging the people who hurt you's humanity, then you can engage it discussions and debates to try and fix these issues and work to stop that cycle of lateral violence. But that cycle can only stop if we make the choice to not keep lashing out at each other out of pain. At some point, one of us has to stop screaming and kicking and biting, even though they are also in pain, and ask "hey, maybe if we all stop jumping to our most instinctive response every time we hurt each other, maybe we can all finally stop hurting each other?"

[saltminerising]

Sigh. I'm so frustrated.

So I bought a G1, it was an XYZ, nothing special, its eyes don't even match (they actually really really clash with its colors tbh). But I liked the dragon and whatnot, and spent a fair amount of money gene-ing it up. Now, a few days later, the seller messages me and seems kinda upset about it, because apparently they hadn't meant to list this dragon on the AH at ALL. And I mean it wasn't cheap, so I didn't... think it was a mistake/mispricing/etc.? Like why would I even think that when I had no indication they DIDN'T mean to even list it up on the AH??

And, normally I'd totally be willing to resell the dragon back to the person that I bought it for, for that same price, but... I did spend a decent chunk of money on gene-ing it? And they seem really upset now since to buy it back, it's like, a hassle at this point. And it really does seem like they genuinely didn't mean to put it up on the AH, so I don't know how the heck that happened. :/

I feel like we both lose out here. If I resell it for the amount they originally listed it, then I lose out on all those genes I spent on it, and that money too. But if they compensate me for the loss, then THEY have to pay way more just to get their dragon back, like extra fees on top of everything that they don't deserve either. (I mean I know they technically sold it, but like, an error is an error, you know?? I know you can "blame" them for making the error but like. It sucks to make some kind of mistake and then there's no easy fix to the situation / it's not something they meant to do and now they gotta pay more for an honest mistake. Like the genes I got were NOT CHEAP genes btw, like actual gem genes so uh... heckkk.) I just REALLY wish they'd messaged me before I did anything to it?? Because like it's been a few days now, and I get not everyone logs in all the time, but I just... ugh. This situation just really sucks, you know??

Also, I know the whole "once the dragon leaves your lair it's no longer yours" and that I technically own the dragon and don't HAVE to resell back to them, but like. I also get that it sucks to accidentally lose something you were attached to because you made a mistake. Everyone makes errors, does something when they're tired or I don't know and didn't mean to do something like list a dragon (maybe they meant to price a different one at that price?? I don't know). I'm just lamenting the fact that it's now become such a fiasco for everyone involved, and I don't have a clue what to do. I'm willing to resell the dragon to them. But I just don't know how to fix the other price difference in a way that's fair to both of us, and it's distressing.

It just feels like such a lose/lose situation for the both of us, and that super sucks. :/ Also I'm now highkey very stressed out about the whole ordeal and I don't know what to do. And I'm upset that they're upset. (they didn't get angry at me, they're just?? rightfully distraught over accidentally losing this dragon, which I think makes sense??)

Sorry for the long post. This situation sucks so much and I just needed to vent about it. Sighhhhhh. ughhHHhHhH. i'm already physically sick at the moment and dont need this extra stress. i just wanna play pretty pixel dragon in peace to unwind and have fun maybe. i don't need more stuff added onto my plate right now. :( upsetti spaghetti times. #FeelsBadMan blehhhh blarghhhh

[gwaaaaar]

Black Butler racism (or just overall bigotry) is the funniest shit ever (no it isn't. It's awful) because. Black Butler somehow got better. And worse. Spoilers under the cut for Baldroys backstory btw.

Please try not to take this as an entirely anti-black butler sort of argument. I was thinking about this in passing and thought it was something worth discussing. So DON'T COME AT ME!!!

I'm gonna start off with the easiest and earliest examples of racism.

Soma and Agni-! Wow... so I'd argue in the beginning Soma was based off of, I wouldn't say harmless stereotypes, but stereotypes that weren't applied with malice. He's a prince with like. 26+ siblings so he never really had a chance for the throne.

The 26+ siblings is... an unfortunate common stereotype applied to brown people, more specifically muslim. Soma is from Bengal and depending on where, there could be a high muslim population. But Soma is hindu. Either way, it's not. Good. To portray brown people like this. Like having 20+ kids that is a bad look. Indians do have big families, I should know, but not to that extreme and it has weird implications. Also when Soma tells Mey Rin to strip because painting naked women is better... yikes

Here is the harmful part: his and Agni's worship of Ma Kali is treated as a joke. Like ohhh look at this scary demonic hindu goddess!!! Even sebastian is weirded out and he's a demon!!! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. :/

BUT. but. This. PALES IN COMPARISON TO THE SINOPHOBIA. Holy shitttt Lau... oh my god he is like a stereotype from mf Tintin. The opium den and the Chinese girl in skimpy clothing is crazy (and the implied incest??? What is ran mao to him again??? Theyre like siblings right???)... It really fucking sucks that the way hes portrayed almost implies that Chinese people wanted the opium crisis rather than you know. Having it pushed onto them by the British . I can be upset about Soma all I want but damn... maybe indian people did get the good end of the stick.

And, it's weird right? It's weird how one minority that normally isn't treated seriously can escape with relatively minor stereotyping compared to. TO THE SHIT TON OF OPIUM. Of course there's a lot of historical things going on, but wow the sinophobia is nuts.

I do think the main problem is somewhat classism. Victims are treated brutes for retaliating. Like that one miniarc where indian immigrants were tying up British nobles that visited India because they were angry that they were used and tossed aside and can't go back home. Soma, one of the few indians treated with sympathy, is a prince. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE WHAT THEY DID TO MINA... she was rightfully upset. The caste system is a terrible thing and she wanted to escape that, and she's the bitch? She isn't gentle to Soma, but she's in the right.

Black Butler has evolved as a story significantly since the beginning and when I say it's kind of gotten better I mean, the characters have evolved so much they can no longer rely on stereotypes. We have to take Soma and Agni seriously, they are no longer just some funny foreigners. LAU DOESN'T EVEN DO OPIUM ANYMORE AFAIK... that was like 50% of his personality and she got rid of it lmao.

edit: i lied he still does opium its just that isnt his personality anymore.

And that's a good thing! They shouldn't have been portrayed in such ways in the beginning. Stereotyping is just objectively shit writing. But also yeah shitty thing to do to minorities.

I think one of the most beautiful cultural references made later on is post Agni's death, when Soma has had enough and finally snaps. The panel that says "he has gone down the path of Maa Kali" is so poetic and my roman empire . It's a good reference back to the deity they worship, but instead of her being treated as something to ridicule or be scared of, it shows how Soma's personality, and background has lead him to who he is today. I think it's beautiful! I'm happy Soma is in the story because of that.

The same can be said about the slight transphobia with Grell in the beginning. NOW I know in the beginning, there wasn't a particular word for trans women or people in general so a word referring to effeminate/gay men or crossdressers was used. This isn't about that, language changes etc etc. Its moreso how she was portrayed as like, a sicko serial killer. Like yk, negative trans stereotypes. But over time she was recognized as a woman and gets to be her own character. Which is awesome! It's good that shes been viewed more postively over time.

Now... here's where things might be getting worse.

Baldroys backstory pisses me off. The idea that native americans were like ravaging his hometown and killed his innocent family. He even says something like how he knows their land got stolen so their reaction was probably justified but he doesn't care. It just. It just feels like siding with the colonizers you know? Like perpetuating these stereotypes to give people a reason to be "afraid". I know conflict was pretty rampant back then but there's just certain things people should be careful with when portraying... and I don't think Black Butler did a good job. I was really surprised to see that it was from a recent chapter bc it honestly read like something from the older ones.

AT LEAST we finally got a black grim reaper wooo mama

[momo-de-avis]

Fun story. Sometime last year I started with a company that assigned random tour guiding jobs and eventually I got a gig with an australian company that did the same shit every year. Clients arrive in PT through madrid. My job was to give them a walk tour of Lisbon and Belém. This day it turned out I had a surprise: there was a second group I did not know existed, and which I had not been informed of, who needed to meet with my group at X hours in Lisbon. They had a second guide with them I didn't know who it was and had no contact with. The Tour Leader (TL), who has a cabbage for a brain, instead of giving me the tour guide's contact as I requested, called the second tour leader who put the tour guide on the phone to then speak with me through my tour leader's phone, which has to be the most complicated method imaginable. A point to note here is that the other guide was super difficult. He refused to find a solution with me because "he was not told what to do" and I eventually had to force him to accept a conclusion bc idk this fucker couldn't solve a very simple problem.

This is a bus gig. I'd never done buses before but I'd done Belém plenty of times and was pretty comfortable. All I had to do was pick up a mic and speak to them about the city. Easy.

Imagine my surprise when the absolute dork ass loser of the bus driver puts his hands on the wheel and says "tell me the way". And I'm like. What the fuck do you mean. He means it's my job apparently to instruct this professional bus driver who refuses to turn on his GPS on the exact path from butt fuck nowhere Marques de Pombal to Belém. Literally turn left, right, straight ahead.

Important detail here is that the clients are australian, so the tour is in english, but the dumbass tour leader and the even dumber driver are spanish, so I am actually switching back and forth between english and spanish during this whole ordeal (at one point I did accidentally speak spanish to the australians, yes).

Somehow we arrive in Belém without crashing the fucking bus and I do my job. I know the clients had a good time and that's all I care about.

Then we return to Lisbon. Yes I had to yet again provide the BUS driver minute by minute instructions on how exactly to return, and while doing so, I was grabbing the mic, speaking in english about the city, lowering the mic and quickly going "ahora todo recto hasta el edificio amarillo y despues a la izquierda". i have never multitasked this fucking hard in my life. We get to central lisbon, where I was instructed by TL to meet with the other group there, so the people on my bus would be dropped off.

Now, I came to learn that every month this shit happens, and yet they fuck it up every single time. Basically, the tourists are given a plan. The plan states that they are going from point A to point B. At point B they can decide if they want to go to point C. Those who don't want to are promised a ride back to the hotel, those who want to hop onto one of the buses and head over to point C. Except every time, there's no ride back to the hotel, they just leave them stranded in the middle of central lisbon.

But at the time I did not know this.

So imagine my face when I deliver my clients to second group, and out of fucking nowhere, there's this angry Australian lady who is speaking to second TL, and then she turns, spots me with fucking T1000 eyes, lifts her finger abd aggravatingly says IT'S ALL HER FAULT!

At this point I'm like. So help me god. What else is coming. Now, my TL is mushy brain but in his defence he immediately stepped forward and defended me. But meanwhile this woman is still T1000ing me and insisting everything was my fault, when I don't even know what everything is. And it's then that I hear her say "our tour guide said to us she changed the plan!"

She means the afore mentioned plan of going from A to B and then optionally going to place C. She was rightfully upset that she'd been informed she'd have a bus ride back to the hotel and now was stranded in central lisbon (their hotel was not central at all). However, their tour guide, which happens to be the difficult motherfucker I had to communicate via three different phones in the most complicated way right before starting the tour, apparently panicked and instead of doing the correct thing which was relay the lady's complaints back to the TL, he threw me under the bus, accused me of changing plans I didn't even know existed, and hoped for the best.

Mind you, I did not blame the lady. I'd be proper pissed in her place too. But that was the moment I became T1000 and looked around for this motherfucker.

And when I saw him I realised I knew who this piece of shit was.

It turns out he's a tour guide who worked for a Free Tours company whose name I wont give out but they wear yellow, which is an incredibly predatory company, and I say this with full confidence because I actually interviewed for them and it was the most pathetic job interview I've ever experienced. It's the kind of place you pay to work (free tours the guide has to pay 3-5€ per client and they rely entirely on tips, they don't have wages. Kind of like real estate but more predatory). The guides for this company have their meeting spot in the same square as we do (as do several other companies).

This was the only stupid ass who always started shit.

He once screamed at a coworker of mine because he insisted they owned the square (I'm talking about fucking Rossio). He once offered violence to another coworker of mine, I don't even know why anymore. He once tried to start shit with me too. He spoke to some of my clients who had arrived before me and when I got there he went on a fucking rampage going "WE'RE GOING TK START STEALING YOUR CLIENTS BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LATE". I let him have it and stayed quiet. When he was done, in most dead pan tone, I just said 'mate there's 10 minutes left before the tour starts, go do your job'.

You ask anyone who regularly tours in Rossio they will know who this fucker is. He is rude, aggressive and a piece of shit.

And apparently a fucking coward too.

Instantly after that, I picked up the phone and called the company, who only called me back hours late cause lol, and told them this would never happen again. After explaining that next time I will refuse to do anything whatsoever if a bus driver ever tells me it's my job to tell the way, I explain that if I were them, I would never collaborate with this absolute piece of shit again bc this is unprofessional beyond belief.

I have since been forgotten by that company lmfao they literally stopped calling me but to be fair it was an amicable divorce bc I swore I'd never work with them again.

It's been like 7 months. I come to learn that piece of shit stayed in that shit ass company nonetheless which shows just how desperate they are. In this time that has since passed, a couple of guides who know what happened asked me what the guide's name is so they are sure to refuse work with that guy.

Turns out that list is growing lmfao there's at least 3 or 4 more guides who have since refused to work with him because he is such a piece of shit.

No idea where he is now. Haven't seen him in a while. Genuinely wonder how tf he is going to build a career in such a small field when he keeps burning every bridge.