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#even when other people think youre crazy
smugglerofsass · 1 year
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i saw your tags and i am dying to know the four GO related costumes, if it isn’t too much trouble to ask? ♥️
Ok ok ok here's the thing, this might be more than you bargained for because it's not four costumes, it's four years worth of costumes and inspired looks I have too many of those lets not talk about that.
Break so I can insert some pictures where I have them.
You see, I started cosplaying Crowley in 2019, like half of the rest of this fandom. I saw the show, I made my best friend watch it, she asked if Aziraphale and Crowley could be our Halloween costume for the year, I agreed exclusively on the grounds I could be Crowley, and the rest is essentially history.....except it's not because if my life isn't one cosmic joke what's the point right. My hair was purple at the time and I insisted I wasn't going to dye it for this, despite everyone I knew asking about it. So we did Halloween, at speed, mind you, so it was more about does it look like them rather than does it look like them, but doing these costumes gave me brain rot bad.
This is genuinely one of the best photos I'm going to be able to share with you rn, because someone took these photos of me intentionally. My best friend/Aziraphale had prior plans and this kinda got dropped on me like what costume can you wear to go to the cemetery approximately now.
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In December, I started dying my hair red, we're all laughing because it's funny.
Obviously this was right before the plague times and I was still in undergrad at the time. We had a socially distanced halloween party the next year between the costume and scene shops, and I wore basically the same thing, just with doc martens and sfx contacts that time because I was working on a much larger costume for my undergrad capstone (tho not my history capstone, that was tragically different.) I started working on a late Victorian women's ensemble in black and green that was intended to be versatile enough to be both historically accurate in settings that needed it, while also being able to be an all out cosplay, just an inspired one. I didn't actually get good picture of it until late last year when I had shifted into what I call "stupidly" red hair dye and cut my hair (I was in grad school when s2 filming pictures started to come out, it does something to your brain, you make interesting choices during Thanksgiving break.)
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(Enjoy a rare film photo of @christinedieae and I, we were working on these outfits together, and mostly in the same work space in 2021, so it was a mission to photograph these two together because they were so different on the dress forms.)
In 2021, I attended Ren Fair for the first time and made pirate inspired looks for my best friend and I. Tragically I don't have any photos from this year other than us at like 8am in my driveway and I'm not willing to share them rn but I made this full length sleeveless coat with fabric i found at joanns that year that has snakes and roses. I also wore it last year but it was very cold and windy that day so the only photo of me is my "Anakin storming the temple" look, peak my red wig and the best garment I've ever made, my cloak.
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Then, some of my favorite ren fair looks from last year. The halo is one of the single best purchases I've made while costuming, and at this point its been a while.
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The only down side to ren fair is that I'm often without an Aziraphale, as my best friend has become a bird (this is a genuine logistical challenge and at times takes between three and four of us to manage at the fair grounds so my full length snake skirt might not be returning to the fair this year.) Said bird also steals my glasses.
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Here's another look with selections pulled from my historical wardrobe for a wizarding event at the museum I work at last year. This was the first time anyone I worked with saw my contacts and I have found it's good to warn people who know me because they find it a serious jumpscare. Some adults also have opinions, but kids really seem to like them.
And then some silly things from an event we attended in May last year. It was Friday the 13th and easily 100 degrees. I made Aziraphale's waistcoat in a week because I wasn't insane enough already (when you get motivation to do something you take it idk). On an even bigger my life is a cosmic joke note, when the first s2 pictures came out with the leather waistcoat I got in my closet and finally begrudgingly admitted my mom was right, because I had a leather waistcoat she had given me from the 80s.
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I feel like I might have posted some of these photos here before, I remember asking for an "angel ( )" caption for my friend dressed as Castiel, and the groupchat soundly rejecting "angel (homosexual)" as too non-specific. It was very hot, we descended into insanity by the end of the night, a group of girls recognized us while we were trapped in the middle of this tiny candy store, chaos at its finest. This is also the night where someone referred to our group as the "most attractive group of queer people" they'd ever seen, and thus named our group chat.
I know there have been sooooo many more, some combination of all of this is how I dress on the daily so I'm kinda always testing new or inspired looks. And our ren fair opens this weekend, and I've been working on making and acquiring some fun new things for some new looks this year, so I'll have more looks very soon.
The last thing I can leave you with, I suppose, is this. I'm going to a wedding in October with costumes encouraged, but all black is off the table. SO I'm recreating an Edwardian gown in a red silk I found that is cross woven with black threads so it has this shift to it while still looking red, the silk is called Omen.
My darling Aziraphale is @jesterjamboree as always. @frameratess also appears here, and is often the only one of us remembering to take pictures. And already mentioned is @christinedieae, we egg each other on with our crazy ideas.
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boygirlctommy · 1 month
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i love the bit from oct 17 2020 when tommy and quackity trapped wilbur in a cobblestone box to keep him from pressing the button... wilbur punching through the blocks with his bare hand to try to get to the button... tommy frantically replacing the block in front of him yelling for quackity to do something... the moment when tommy stops, blocks the exit, and tells wilbur to do it. press the button. but then theyd die with him. quackitys like "wait, wait-" but tommy holds his ground and wilbur. ohh wilbur. "why'd you have to make it so hard?"
#my post#this is just me rambling sorry i love that stream ive watched it sososossoooo many times from all 3 povs#AND AFTER TOMMY AND QUACKITY LEAVE....#wilbur replaces the button. i just need to know that its there.#and he goes on and on about how hes such a showman. how he shouldve just pressed it when he was alone.#but he just NEEDED someone to see him he needed someone to bear witness. guh#shaking. shaking. shaking. tommy put so much trust in him in that moment. he looked at him and said i know you want to hurt yourself but yo#wouldnt hurt me. and is he right to believe that? is he? maybe back in lmanberg maybe back during 'your life is worth more than the#revolution' but in pogtopia?? during 'wilbur wanted to be treated poorly so he treated others poorly'? it was a gamble for sure#and i mean as time went on tommy realized that. that as much as he cared about wilbur he couldnt trust him all the way.#but either way. in that moment i think tommy was sure that wilbur wouldnt press it if he realized that tommyd be killed as well.#that even though at this point people were saying wilbur was crazy. that hed lost it. that even if he didnt get it he knew something was#different about wilbur now. in that moment he bet everything on if there was anything of his brother left he wouldnt hurt him.#fucking. collapses onto the floor#disclaimer if anyone actually reads this far im not trying to slander pogbur in 2024 by calling him crazy thats just how like. every single#other character saw him.#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk
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sockdooe · 1 month
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I don’t know if maybe it’s just me, but is anyone else seeing a rise of people claiming that they could do a better rewrite of Voltron and then immediately say they’d make K/L cannon or Adash/ canon?
I don’t know about anyone else but I genuinely don’t think making ships canon would make the show better.
In fact I think It’d make it worse.
And considering shiro isn’t even mentioned in these and if he is it’s just to be Keith dad…. Is telling.
#listen do what you want but I’m really tired of people genuinely thinking they can do better and then forget the main story of Voltron#I’m being so dead serious#Voltron was never supposed to be about ships or which ones would be canon#it’s about 5 teens/young adult forced into space to be the ‘hero’ against a empire that’s been around for more than their entire life times#and the fact this shit keeps populating the shiro tag is what pisses me off more#I feel like I’m the only one in this fandom that enjoys ships for what they are: FUN#I have tons of ships!!! I don’t want any of them to be cannon!!! even if I love them so much!!!! why? because ships don’t need to be canon!!#you can just simply enjoy having your headcanons and making art/writing and have it be fun!!!!#nothing has to be canon#I don’t know why especially this fandom is so obsessed with it but it’s driving me CRAZY#and what makes it worse is that every time they talk about making K/L cannon is that ‘it deserves to be’#NO IT DOESNT#IT REALLY DOESNT#VOLTRON HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ROMATIC RELATİONSHİPS#UNPOPULAR OPINION BUT IT REALLY DOESNT#you want to do a re-write do it! but dont do it just because you want to make a ship CANON#because that’s not re-writing it’s just fan fiction#you are just writing a fanfic#I want to re-write Voltron too but I actually want the show to improve and be BETTER AND LOVE ITS CHARACTERS#I WANT THEM TO BE BUIKT UO THE WAY THEY SHOUKDVE BEEN#ships don’t belong in canon#sure is it maybe nice when it happens cool but let it happen without dismissing the other characters#not because fans wanted it#also stop fucking populating the shiro tag lest I come at you with a lead pipe#Voltron#voltron legendary defender#vld
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fridayiminlovemp3 · 3 months
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i’m so serious i need these lyrics tattooed on the inside of my eyelids
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oceanwithouthermoon · 9 months
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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darkshrimpemotions · 6 months
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Actually the implications of John also being bisexual are so fucking tasty to me because like. OG John has no support system and no protection against the world except his own perceived strength so he learns to ferret out anything that can possibly be seen as weakness to those around him and that includes any affection or attraction he might feel towards men because nothing screams "stay in your fucking closet" like spending all your time around a fringe subculture of serial killing doomsday preppers in the Midwest during the Reagan era.
By the time he notices Dean starting to look a little too long at boys his age, he's probably convinced himself that whatever he felt (still feels but ignores) was a temporary youthful indiscretion, and of course Dean can't afford those, doesn't get to have those, he's got to be a soldier. He's got to be a better soldier than John, even.
I dunno I've just had enough conversations with family members who are loudly but somehow also mildly homophobic and yet say or do things that make me *eyeballs emoji* not to think this is not only possible but arguably likely.
#supernatural#the winchesters#spn#spnwin#john winchester#shifting my headcanon of john to the type of person who doesn't think of himself as homophobic if he ever things about it at all#and would even probably try to stop a hate crime if he saw one happening right in front of him#(or likes to think he would)#but also views his own queer desire--and thus that of others--with suspicion and contempt#like something frivolous that he simply doesn't have the luxury to pursue as a Real Man in the Real World with Real Responsibilities#and when you live like that especially due to your own choices anything that seems like a luxury you view with a certain level of contempt#so he's like 'heh must be nice to have time for boyfriends' in the most condescending and degrading way imaginable#in the same way he probably treated sam's affinity for academia#in fact i'd argue a lot of what we see from dean with regards to the way he mocks sam for certain things is probably just echoes of john#and what's REALLY crazy-making is the way most of these things dean mocks sam for early on later prove to be things DEAN actually does enjo#dean likes to read and he loves chick flicks and he gets excited about tomatoes and enjoys dressing up nice#dean learned early on that certain things were not acceptable for a Real Man from john bullying him out of doing them#and he does the same to sam#and one of the things he consistently mocks sam for in the beginning is his perceived sexuality#and sure we could just chalk that up to stereotyping but EVEN THEN that jives with the idea that#john simply put his own queer desire in a box labeled 'weaknesses real men don't have' along with idk a love of reading and salads and bein#emotionally vulnerable and sincere with people you love#and then he told Dean 'this is the box of forbidden things'#and dean the ever-dutiful son learned his lesson well
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dennisboobs · 1 year
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my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal
#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical#like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core#these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group#whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang#and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely#they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear#imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like#they just don't react the way you would expect#which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well#the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane#rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn#i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have#and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here#just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other#on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood#but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!!#thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of#glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on#dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes#its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself#which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy#but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week#they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting)#i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i#ada speaks#untagged
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toddtakefive · 4 months
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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dailykugisaki · 7 months
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Day 124 | id in alt
A little bit of a rematch and my opinion on why you never see Mai's six(seven) shooter again.
Read from left to right.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#zenin mai#i was on that crazy shit when coloring thay in-between panel#i just wanted to make it look like it was two seconds short of being a comically fucked impact frame#we all know mai was tweaking the fuck out when her gun shattered it took her half a business day to walk up to Kugisaki and try to shake he#they hate eachother they do violence#Kugisaki had another nail in her hand but its blocked off by the thick ass borders lmao#writing for Kugisaki is like breathing air#IM FUCKING SERIOUS BTW IF I SEE ANU SLANDER ON KUGISAKI I WILL FUCKING CAST 1000#1000 PLAUGES UPON YE I WILL NOT TOLERATE SLANDER ON MY GIRLS NAME FRRR#Plus tbh. be creative with it. Jjk fans regurgitate the same shit over and over snd most of the ones i see cant comprehend shit unless#unless its shoved down their throats and even then its like a 50/50#anyway i just love thinking Kugisaki always just bites back shes built like that built aggressive#bear agenda Kugisaki is still hear yall trust trust#also now i low-key have a simmering animosity towards Fushiguro. some people just make me mad. its almost getting as bad as the#the hate i have for yuta. i will not explain myself and i WILL mind my own Business#i will draw yuta for other folks tho#its whatever your honor#maybe my sodium intake is catching up with me#the lizard comment low-key stems from the fact i aggressively called the queen of England a biped lizard#i dont fade into weird political theories but it was kinfa funny to me#ive been thinking about making an au where Kugisaki is a robot. trust i can make anything work#i will not elaborate
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popstart · 2 months
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the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid
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weed-cat · 1 month
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#in the kindest way possible i think that some of your guys' queer microlabels are predicated on incorrect assumptions#about what is or is not typical of most people's gender and attraction.#you can call yourself whatever you want.#but just be aware that Straight and Gay and Transgender and Bisexual and Man and Woman and Nonbinary and other 'boring' labels#have always held capacity for more nuance and diversity than you've even thought to imagine#rigid definitions of queerness are a new and generally unhelpful development in the history of our community#and i promise that people before the internet era didn't just all have a simpler relationship with gender and sexuality than we do#again. you can call yourself whatever makes you most comfortable. that's the goal.#it just makes me feel weird when people demand or assign microlabels to historical figures or celebs who have not IDed themselves#or strangers on the internet/in their class.#apparently at my brother's very progressive middle school there is such a culture of everyone needing to neatly label themselves#that he just picked a sexuality to tell his friends even though he doesnt know#(which is pretty crazy because my middle school experience was only a decade off and a few miles#and there was definitely still homophobic bullying. but anyway)#i doubt that that's an uncommon story considering how you can log into tiktok#and find pages run by 11 year olds confidently stating a list of queer labels#people absolutely do figure out that they're queer/trans/gay at that age to be clear. kids been be queer and know it and that's incredible.#what makes me worried is kids feeling like they have to scramble to figure themselves out and clearly identify themselves to their peers#so they can be neatly categorized and as an expected virtue signal#<- is aware that this still isn't a problem in most parts of the world and that this is a much better problem to have#than homophobic bullying and internalized homophobia/transphobia#idk I'm rambling here
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meowsticmarvels · 3 months
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we are so fucking back. despite intending to go into vlr/ztd spoiler free i could not handle it anymore and ended up spoiling myself on a few things (...not everything bc its Mostly just related to characters I care abt and im gonna try and gaslight myself into pretending I didn't see it anyway).
but oh my fucking god clocking phi as transfem in the first hour of vlr was some incredible foresight because she is even more transgender than I thought
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original post here if anyone wants to see it or my additional reblog but god. im crazy
#trevor.txt#okay obviously i know how this conversation goes later and it's about phi actually having red hair but dying it#but something about the phrasing of it all is kind of. Okay#plus she specifically says she dyes it white because she doesn't like how it looks red#and plus the framing of the character models - from a filming perspective Even Tjough They Are Kind Of Ugly makes it sound like she's going#to reveal something much bigger than just I Dye My Hair Guys. maybe thats part of the joke but like. stick with me here#also it is kind of a stereotype to be like trans = dying your hair but i did. mine's dyed partially blue. i know SEVERAL other trans people#who have or want to dye theirs#^ which is kind of just a funny concidence but also like. has a lot to do with your sense of identity too? cutting/dying your hair for a lo#of trans people is kind of like. a huge part of transitioning or whatever. if this makes any sense because i sound somewhat crazy here? but#it def plays into gender euphoria/dysphoria commonly#in regards to the second point: kind of a weird trope i've seen a few times but when you view it through a transfem lens#it comes across as a gender dysphoria thing a bit#i would know from my own experiences. like it's obviously kind of the other way around bc im a trans Guy but like...#and then the last image. okay man. this was in the trivia section for ztd.#i don't even think i have to explain that one#anyways i sound a bit crazy with this but like. does anyone understand me. do you get it.#zero escape#zero escape phi#zero time dilemma#ztd#phiposting
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ducktracy · 10 months
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yet another reprise of the same post i’ve made dozens and dozens of times before but GEEZ! i am so incredibly lucky to be doing what i’m doing! to think i spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years and hopefully DECADES pouring over animation history, lauding the masters and studying their work so intently and absorbing it and feeling and identifying with it, and the fact that i get to walk the same turf they did. that i get to be a part of this business that they established. that i get to carry the torch and that, some day, no matter how small or insignificant, my own work and contributions will be regarded as “animation history” because i work in animation and all history is history. i just can’t believe that i’m privileged enough to indulge in some of the same practices that The Greats did, that i get to study their work and, if i’m so lucky, channel and make homages to it where possible.
this isn’t to say “i’m just like Tex Avery because i work in animation TOO!!!!”, but, rather, an expression of my sheer GRATITUDE and amazement that i get to do what i do at all. i’ve met so many nice people. blossomed so much as an artist and cartoonist. get inspired each day by the talent i am constantly surrounded by. and to think that i get to be a part of it!!!!! that i get to carry the torch! i know this sounds so conceited and pompous and i really don’t mean it that way at all because i don’t WANT to be known as someone who people are only interested in because i work in cartoons. i just wanna be known for me! what “me” is i guess is for you to decide! but, regardless, i’m just feeling extra thankful tonight that i’m able to indulge in my passions and SPREAD my passions and have said passions fostered. that i’m lucky enough to tread the same ground as some of the greatest creatives that gave me this ground to tread on. there will never be enough words to properly articulate just how deeply and passionately my gratitude extends.
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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🫎
#this place drives me crazy....#i notice it esp bc when im outside and feel a tiny bit better#(unfortunately this city is a nightmare for a hypervigilant like me to live bc theres crazyyy much noise 24/7)#but my home has for the first 23yrs of my life been a noise wise calm place to wind down and be safe and relax#but a couple of years ago there was like a shift and everyone who moves in here are crazy#my neighbors are constantly stomping banging and thumping. constantly.......#people outside are always screaming and yelling and slamming doors and everything u can do#they let their kids run around and scream like demons and throw rocks on cats and piss on the walls#and they go around with metal pipes or sticks and hit everything#like.... im sorry if u wanna call me a childhater for saying thats fucked up then go ahead#that's not sane behavior and the parents dont raise their kids anymore#constant yelling.... anyway#we have a clan of ppl who do lots of illegal things which is above all NOISYYYYYY#they make shit in the apartment above me and then live in another and then large moving trucks come and pick it up#?????? if u wanna call me a stuck up karen for thinking thats not ok to do to your neighbors go ahead!!!!!! im a bitter bitch#i dont think it's ok to cause such disturbance to your neighbors they cant sleep or exist in peace but thats just me ig!!!!!#these ppl living here are batshit insane bc i've been here for 25 and it's never been like this#and i mean it's MY problem for being noise sensitive ofc#but i feel like my brain is CONSTANTLY always being overstimulated and i can barely function anymore#i like legit wanna kms just to escape all this noise#i dont get any quiet moment ever#not even in the middle of the night there is always some human making noise and causing a disturbance#a few years ago it could be dead quiet in the middle of the day#what has happened im losing my miiiiiiind i wanna dieeeeeeeee#what happens when i reach a point where my brain just overcooks and i explode?#what will i do? what will i do when i lose control sksksk that shit scares me i dont wanna see#i cant live like this but im stuck and i dont know how to get out#and my mom was in a smaller city the other day and she said it was a crazy amount of noise yhere to#what do i do? whrre do i go???? i might jusy have to go deaf or smth i cant do this
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corset · 4 months
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Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible
#I can't even describe it#Like it isn't even just the basic stuff I've dealt with my whole life right#I've had some of this for well over a decade now right I've been very unwell for a long time#I'm a system so that tells you a lot already#Speaking of which that's been extremely hard on us lately too. Rapid switching and blending and worsening dissociative episodes#It makes it extremely....hard. I don't know how to put this for people reading this who don't just intuitively know what I'm talking about#Let me try though#Stress worsens the symptoms right. And we've been under a Lot of stress. When you have a system who not only experiences different levels#of emotion but also different emotional responses to certain things and then also expresses symptoms of your multiple mental illnesses to#different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the#time it becomes markedly more difficult to try and balance out/manage your other shit. Like I cannot even describe#It's like trying to climb a slippery incline#I feel truly. Crazy. Like a complete unstable fragmented freak lately it is So bad. And I feel like I'm becoming Worse /As A Person/ too#Like I just feel like I'm becoming so jaded and fucked up mentally our internal state right now is frankly very bad. If you think I've been#negative and difficult on this blog lately hoo boy is my posting on here not even scratching the surface#We're trying to do some things about stuff we can fix/control in our external surroundings but like#[Edit: in addition I have never been properly medicated or gotten help for Any of this since I was 14-15 and they weren't even helping us#for the right things.]
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angelicsentinel · 1 month
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Not to yuck anyone's yum here, but I don't see how someone can do meta if they don't even have basic reading comprehension, much less do surface level critical analysis that says anything of substance.
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