#even though you crashed on my google docs

[b1zmuth]

You, ''Me'', and the fucking cat! | Satan X Reader

SC \\ replacement (To like the slightest degree), jealousy, angry MC, crackhead energy, whatever was that fever dream called the obey me anime, fluff, CAT!!!

Plot: You turn into a cat, and basically get replaced in some odd fashion. 

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Today was an ordinary day.

It was the same as all the other ‘’ordinary to the point it's insufferable’’ days, filled with silence and the occasional joke thrown your way, darting glances towards you and those god-awful poorly hidden whispers- basically, everyone was tiptoeing around your general presence, attempting to not set off the ticking time bomb that was a mere step in the wrong direction from going off.

Now, to give credit where it's due, you DID bring this on yourself, considering your recently declared mass ignorance streak of everyone in the House of Lamentation.. And when you said everyone, you really meant EVERYONE- even Cebererus wasn't spared from your wrath and backhanded responses.

Even then, it still didn't justify anything that the brothers had done to you yesterday- leaving you a sopping wet mess due to their shitty April Fools “joke” that left you sulking in ''your bed'' for hours on end… or well leading up until now, where you sat on top of the table in Solomon’s dorm- where the owner of said room laughed at the current absurdity of the situation, despite the glares your eyes shot at him.

You licked your paw in an unamused fashion, trying to ignore Solomon’s cackle session at your unfortunate situation.. he somehow still didn't get with the program- shutting his mouth already.

‘’Hehe, he- haha! This is just too- haaaa!- funny! Tell me the story again, please?’’ Solomon laughed like it was going to be his last, which further fueled your immense hatred for the slick bastard- your mind racing to figure out what would be the best torture method for his ass- ‘’So, before you start telling me how you got yourself into this… situMEOWation! how's life living on the short side? Y’know, as a CAT! Ha!’’

You were going to kill him one way or another that's for SURE.

‘’Meow meow meowww! Meow meow!’’ (I’ll gouge your fucking eyeballs out if you laugh one more time you shitty excuse of a cook!) you hissed at the god-awful cook who laughed even harder this time, having to compose himself before he fell off the couch- ‘’Oh, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen- it's even better when I know what you're saying! Haha!’’ ‘’meow meow!’’ (incompetent fuck!)

Solomon finally stops laughing and turns to you with an amused look on his face, his smirk being the telltale sign of his desire for the full story…

So, this whole problem started when you were in your room secretly planning a nice, luxurious retreat to Istanbul with Satan as a surprise date in your planner- Noticing Mammon who came in your room and started talking to you- ‘’Oi human! Needa’ wear something light to dinner, Lucifer says you will get your hands messy! And doncha’ keep me waiting!’’- you finished up your plans got redressed fairly quickly and started rushing down for dinner only to be met with a dark, like SERIOUSLY dark dining room and radio silence to top it off. ‘’The hell?’’ you said, turning your head in every direction in a confused manner, your eyes darting around- eventually getting used to the pitch-black darkness that consumed the room, which still didn't help much but you just shrugged it off, and shook your phone to turn on its flashlight to be met with a damn near petrifying sight- four gigantic ass spiders-looking THINGS on the roof of the dining room which also, damn near shaved off 15 years off of your lifespan, and it only got worse from there as the 4 ‘’shadows’ started jumping down from the roof… With guns???

Damn! All of that boy kissing really did come to bite you in the ass because there was no way in hell the big G was going to let you slide with YOUR record. Fuck!

‘’Well damn, this might be how I go out, to some fuckass spiders- yeah right, hell to the naw!’’ you thought before making a mad dash up the stairs, hearing the repeated thumps of feet trailing behind you, the sound of your own blood rushing past your ears, the delicious feeling of adrenaline coursing throughout your body made this whole chase a little bit fun..?

Well, it was fun up until you nearly got cornered by three more of the ‘’shadows’’, mindlessly ran into about two walls, and got some varying degrees of carpet burn from sliding across the rugged floor so many times- your screams echoing throughout the halls, NOW the situation had totally went from 0-100 real fast.

But never mind that! Where in the world were the brothers? You had JUST seen and talked to Mammon no less than five minutes ago, right? There is no way that all seven could have disappeared with a trace within a matter of mere minutes?

Well, you kept on running until you finally found a lit room… And then your legs gave out from underneath you- and you somehow slid across a. Soapy floor? What the hell?

‘’SQUUUUIIRRTING CONTESSSSSST!!!!’’ you heard multiple voices around you scream before you were blasted by multiple streams of.. ‘’Water’’, you think, and having buckets of that same ‘’water’’ being dumped all over your already sopping wet body- and then to make matters worse, the millisecond you got up you were pelted with numerous water balloons that sent you right back down for the count- with the same voices bursting out with cackles and giggles at your expense.

I mean, to give credit, your assailants finally got the memo that maybe you were dead due to drowning in some mysterious liquid, and a yellow blur pulled you up before you were pelted with MORE FUCKING WATER BALLOONS- oh yeah, you had to be fucking livid now, looking aligned to someones abandoned wet dog after all.

Oh, and livid you were! Enough to start flipping tables and chairs, turning the now revealed seven brothers into a humanized game of bowl, hanging three of them from a chandelier and giving two a swirly-whirly, leaving poor Lucifer and Satan staring at you in genuine fear and holding up their hands defensively whilst slowly walking backward- ‘’YOU!’’ You yelled, pointing a furious finger that switched between pointing at both demons before you spoke up again, your feet picking up pace and the distraught faces of both demons turning more scared with each step- ‘’I ALMOST DROWNED! MY PHONE? SHAMISLED! MY NOSTRILS? SHOT. MY HAIR THAT I SPENT AN HOUR DRYING AND FLUFFING OUT? DONE-ZOS! WHAT IN THE HELL COMPELS YOU TO DROWN SOMEONE IN WATER AFTER HELPING THEM UP?!’’ you screamed at the two before stopping dead in your tracks, just mere feet in front of them before you started having a stare-down contest with your two unwilling contestants before they nervously tried to plead the fifth with you, only to be met with a loud ‘’STAY!’’ and the loud thumps of their bodies hitting the floor.

‘’Uuuuuuuuurgh..’’ ‘’Nghuuuugh…!’’

‘’Meow meow meow meow, meow! Meooooooooow, meowww.’’ (And that's how I ended up ignoring all of those damn brothers, who almost drowns someone in.. whatever that ‘’water’’ was and then laughing when I got pelted with even MORE wate-’’ ‘’HAAAAAAAAHAAhhhheeeehe!! AHAaaa!’’ ‘’Heheeeee…. Oh uh.. continue, please..’’

So, after you eventually stormed up to your room after spamming ‘’Stay’’ on Lucifer and Satan, you tried to get somewhat dry and marched right on over to Levi’s Room, snatching up Crowe and marching right back on over to your own room before starting your devious plan; turn all of the brothers into cats of course! At least then they would be bearable to be around after the shadoozy they just put you through 15 minutes ago! What a fantastic plan! What could possibly go wrong?

‘’Crowe! I want you to turn something into a cat.’’ You said, hoping that Levi had autopay still enabled on Crowe.

‘’Hello, LEVIACHAN, what would you like to be turned into a cat?’’ Crowe responded, your giddy smile growing with the thought of the brothers getting their justified punishment, right up until you heard Satan calling your name out- ‘’Shit! Did Crowe hear that?’’

‘’Understood, autopay is enabled, beginning transaction soon.’’ You let out a loud groan, mentally cursing Satan for opening his mouth the second you decide to use something as sensitive as Crowe. Fuck!

‘’MC! Were sorry! Can we talk..please?’’ Satan yelled from somewhere downstairs, his voice getting louder- signaling his ascent up towards your room- ‘’Payment confirmed, LEVIACHAN, thank you for using Crowe’s Digital Transformation System. . . . . . A bright white flash quickly illuminates the room, both blinding you and ripping a poorly-hidden scream from your throat, before dissipating and alerting your unwanted guest. . . . As much as you loved Satan, you were SO going to kick his ass the second you got your body back, no! You were GOING to kick his ass as soon as he walked in! Wait, you could do it in the hallway too! Even better.

If only you could reach the door that was taunting you about your new, fuzzy, form.

Well, shit. Now not only were you stuck in this cat form, but your entire revenge plan also went straight out the window- I mean there wasn't jack your minuscule ass was going to be doing to a 6’1 demon who LOVED cats. You might as well just go ahead and call it quits, because this would be your unfortunate new life.

And just as you were sulking, deciding on what cat food you would have to set as your worst-case scenario- O-Great-Lord-O-Cats waltzes into your room, looking somewhat distressed as he frantically looked around for your (human) body, only for his greenish-yellow eyes falling on your adorable cat form- ‘’Oh! Where did you come from, little one? And how did you get inside?’’ Satan asked you, his large hands picking you up and holding you, one hand lifting up to pet your soft fur and eventually scratching behind your ear- but not before swiping a

‘’Never mind that, you must be hungry.. And angry at that..’’ He looked at you with a saddened face, seemingly to completely have forgotten about the very much HUMAN scream that came from your room, and that flashbang of a transformation that he had to have seen- my god, you really didn't think that Satan wanted you gone that much for him to overlook that gigantic red flag.

You wondered if someone were to wave a 50ft red flag in front of his face would he still just ignore it to care for a cat.. Probably so knowing him.

And to your shock, all the rest of the brothers were sitting at the dinner table eating, before they watched Satan walk into the room with yet another cat, before turning back to finish whatever they were doing at the table- I mean it was already confusing that Satan didn't say anything about the recent events, but for all seven brothers to not even spare a cough or a sniffle when your scream rang out and Satan came down with a CAT and not YOU.

‘’What for dinner.’’ Satan asked nonchalantly, setting you down on the dinner table, to which you stared at him with a confused look- ‘’Devildom Stir-fry with Toxic Chameleon’’ someone from behind you said, your furry face now scrunched up in contemplation- ‘’there is no way in hell they served a dish that only demons could eat, did I give them all brain damage? no.. no. did they forget me?’’ You thought to yourself, being so lost in thought that you didn't hear Satan excusing himself from the table to ‘’go get something’’, or really to notice the disappointed sighs of the brothers around you.

You felt a pair of warm, slender hands pick you up and carry you to a nearby seat, setting you down on their lap and petting your fur softly, and as you looked up- you saw Asmo pouting above you.

‘’You know, I feel sooooo bad for making our sweet MC angry… dinners so boring without them.’’ Asmo sighed, picking aimlessly at his plate after he passed you to Belphie- ‘’Agreed, I didn't think they would take it so seriously’’ Belphie hummed before turning you into his personal pillow, smooshing his face inside of your soft fur.

‘’I believe Lucifer told you to at least warn MC that they would be getting wet, right Mammon?’’ Levi retorted at the now worried Mammon who just responded with ‘’Y’know, who tells a person to change clothes because they are going to be getting wet in the dining room, huh?!’’ he pointed his fork towards Levi who scoffed,’’ YOU, Mammon! Are you seriously that dim-witted to not warn someone about a water fight?’’ he glared right back at the elder sibling- searching his pockets for his DDD.

‘’Either way, MC doesn't want to speak with us, they even hid in their room when I came to find them.’’ Satan responded, his tone slowly going more upbeat as he saw you desperately trying to claw your way from underneath Belphie- who awoke with some ‘’gentle’’ persuasion from Satan.

Belphie’s chair quickly tumbles to the ground, with him flying to the floor with it -’’ Y’know, you DIDN’T have to shove me out of the chair! Evil bastard!’’- ‘’tough luck, I need to put this collar on Satan’s Angry Kitty, and you're in the way!’’ Satan shrugged at Belphie, picking you up and returning you back to his seat at the dinner table.

Hold on a minute, he said a-what-now?

‘’Woah woah woah! Slow down! Did you just say you need to put a collar on that CAT who’s name is Satan’s Angry Kitty? Belphie pulled himself up off the floor, looking at Satan with a questionable look on his face ‘’Thats such a cringy name lool’’ Levi giggled to himself as he watched you desperately try to run away from Satan’s hands- ‘’Even the cat thinks the name is weird LMAO’’

Who in their right fucking mind names a cat that? I have to stop picking the freaklicious men to crush on- because this is just plain ridiculous!

‘’What a kinky name for a cat, Satan!’’ Asmo said in a sing-song tone, his smirk never faltering.

‘’Of course, I named the cat that- they remind me of MC, and it would be weird to name a cat that randomly appeared in MC’s room after them, no?’’ Satan laughed, covering your claws with his thumbs- ‘’Oi! What makes you think that the cat belongs to YOU? If anything I say I should get to name the cat! I was MC’s first man after all!’’ Mammon leaped from his seat pointing the finger at Satan and quickly pointing his finger at everyone else at the table.

‘’You would KILL that poor furry feline with your incompetence! I think that I, Asmo, should take care of them! At least they wouldn't end up being sold off to those witches you are so fond of!’’ Asmo put a hand on his chest, smugly making a comment towards Mammon, only to be cut off by Belphie- ‘’Nuh-uh! No way in HELL should an animal be left in your care! You're too self-absorbed to even give a second thought about it! Leave it in the care of ME and BEEL.’’

‘’And you're so sure that you could take care of it huh?! Beel would eat the poor thing as a midnight snack and your napping gramps ass wouldn't even know until a week later!’’

‘’Loool you guys are so pathetic, clearly the otaku could take care of a simple cat- unlike the rest of you normies!’’

‘’Oh COME ON! Your an OTAKU for fucks sake! You’d be too busy busting it to your figurines and those games your always playing to even notice if the cat got eaten by Henry!’’

‘’Who are you calling pathetic?! I was the first one to discover the cat, so I get naming privileges! All the rest of you clingy fucks can suck it!’’

‘’You all are being childish, none of you are even competent enough to care for this feline- so just go ahead and give it to me!’’

‘’SHUT THE HELL UP LUCIFER!’’

. . . . . . . .

It took a lot more arguing, flipped tables and chairs, plates, forks, food, and YOURSELF, being flung around the room before you were finally able to get Satan to calm down and pay attention to you- ‘’HURRRRRAAAAAUG- oh! Satan’s Angry Kitty! You seem like you want my attention.. You want my attention don’t ya? Awwwwwh! You really are just too cute!’’ He cooed at you whilst holding you in his arms before retreating to his room and setting you down on his bed.

I mean, seeing him in his demon form was really interesting since he seemed to get even dreamier when he was being nice in said form- and it was even better that he was lying down on his back and holding you up in the air, still cooing at you about how cute you were- ‘’you know, MC was planning on taking me on a secret date to this place in the human world called ‘’Istanbul’’..’’ ‘’Meow meow meow!’’ ( Damn it! You just had to look through my notebook!’’)

‘’I mean, I was planning on asking them out on a library date, I was really worried if they weren't going to feel the same about me, but thanks to you sitting right next to that notebook I got to know that they do like me back! What a helpful kitty you are!’’ He booped your small button nose, to which you tried to reciprocate the action by booping him back, but failed.

Now, it was only a matter of time before Satan swiped that planner of yours- it DID have the title as ‘’Satan X Me (heart heart heart)’’ but even then you did it as a funny haha joke, and now its come back to bite you in the ass. Dammit.

Unfortunately, he sat you back down on the bed and got up to go retrieve a book from one of his shelves, coming back and fully laying down on his bed with you resting on his chest.

You curled up into a ball on top of him, placing yourself where you could read the book with him, peacefully enjoying the steady beat of his heart, and his soothing breathing- ‘’How much longer do you want to stay as my little angry kitty, hm, MC?’’

Wait what?

He laughed, ‘’Don't act coy with me MC, I've already known that you were transformed into a cat. So, let me ask you again; how much longer do you want to stay as Satan’s Angry Kitty?’’ he narrowed his eyes as he spoke, watching your bewildered expression. (really he was watching your ears)

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!

And did Jesus come to save you he did, having all six of his brothers burst into the room- teasing you about being Satan’s Little Kitten- and a mix of ‘’APRIL FOOLS’’ having you make a hasty retreat for the door, a mad dash to the dorms where Solomon was- because staying in that house another SECOND would have had you dead on the spot.

‘’Meow meow meow meow, meow meow.’’ (so yeah, here we are. I would have done anything to be in my human form when he told me that! Do you know how hot it was to be called his kitty whilst he was in his demon form AND laying on his chest?! Do you, Solomon?!) You meowed at the sorcerer, who laughed again- ‘’and now your just being thirsty for him, classic you.’’ Solomon responded flashing his bright smile at you.

‘’Meow meow meow..’’ (coming from the fruitastic maestro sitting in front of me I take that as a compliment.)

‘’Would you like for me to turn you back now? You know, so you can continue salivating at the mouth over Satan?

‘’Meow!’’ (yes!)

Solomon giggled at your enthusiastic response before he turned you back into the human- ''It's a wonder that he hasn't shown up here to come and get you-'' and he was swiftly cut off with a suspicious knock at the door to which you answered it… and it was Satan, holding a beautiful bouquet of your favorite colored flower, a giddy smile on his face, and a small ginger cat perched on top of his shoulder- ‘’Heard you had an interest for me, Kitt-’’

‘’let me stop you right there buddy, we need to sit down and have a talk about this nickname situation!’’ You giggled at the somewhat taller male who laughed right with you as he lowered his shoulder so you could grab the cat that was on it.

‘’Where do you keep on finding all these cats?’’ ‘’I don't know, I'm just a cat attractor, you know this already, hun.’’

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A/N: This was just wow. somehow this beat my diavolo x reader fic with a 1500 word difference.. atp every fic I write gets LONGER.. smh

Ngl this one drained me, so OMNB(+SWD) headcannons r next, so if you enjoyed this fic please like and drop a suggestion for the headcannons! oh yeah, and thank you to everyone who enjoyed my DXR fic! i really, really, appreciate it!! :)

Bizmuth 24' | Biz's Workshop

[potchi-fics]

note: g!p caitlyn. contains overstimulation, breeding kink, and jealous cait yummy. ang sarap niya fuckkkk sarap sarap sarap ALSO I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WAS SO LONG (not proofread. and i kid you not, my google docs crashed THREE TIMES while i was writing this. this is my new years present to yall--2024 may be down but cait's dick is up)

“darling, you know we have to go out in thirty minutes,” caitlyn’s distant voice called out from your closet.

you’re currently doing up your make-up in front of the mirror, doing finishing touches, “yeah, i know, baby. i’m about to be done. how about you?”

      you see her come out of the room, whistling when you see her outfit, it’s an all-black outfit: jacket with a black button-up, trousers, and loafers. simple yet elegant. she walks towards you while fixing the cuffs of her button-up.

“you look absolutely beautiful, darling,” her arms snake around your hips, kissing the side of your neck, “do we have to go?”

just in time to finish your make-up, a giggle escapes your lips, and you turn around to face her, your own wrapping around her neck, “you look gorgeous, baby. and you, house kiramman, are the ones hosting the gala, stupid.”

      she gives you a tight-lipped smile, her eyes squinting for a second but you see it, she doesn’t want to go. you gently pull her down, how she grew so much is still a mystery to you.

“it’ll be done before you know it,” you peck her lips, your lipstick leaving its mark on her—you rub it away tenderly, “come on, honey. we are gonna be late.” your kisses seemed to repeat, enunciating every word with a kiss.

caitlyn hums in content, her eyes closing, “you do realize your lipstick is fading the more you kiss me, right?”

“i’ll retouch in the car.”

…

      the gala is everything you expected: formal, rich people. you step into the venue and you immediately spot mrs. kiramman and her husband.

she hugs you, “i’m glad you two are able to make it.” she makes her way to her daughter, “surprised you’re here, can’t seem to pull you away from your work.”

“good thing i’m here, mrs. kiramman,” an arm wraps around your waist, kissing the top of your head, “caitlyn here is married to her work, i swear. and here i thought i was gonna be married to her first.”

“i am not married to my work.” caitlyn grumbles, sticking closer to you. “i am a very busy woman, is all.”

      you two converse with her parents for a while before an attending guest invited himself in your little party, taking away the older couple. that leaves the two of you alone. you grab a champagnes, offering caitlyn a glass. 

for about an hour or two, you two got separated, engaging other people. you give caitlyn a smile, who is on the other side of the room when you catch her gaze. she’s been watching you occasionally, keeping an eye on you.

and she doesn’t miss how a woman is trying to hit on you. of course, you’re oblivious to it. caitlyn’s eyes glint dangerously under the light, her teeth grinding when she sees the woman touch your arm, lingering for someone who’s supposed to be a stranger, undressing you with her eyes, and even going as far as touching your back, it barely made contact, but still. and that’s enough for her to down her champagne, make a beeline for to you, her strides strong and wide.

“oh, and this is my partner, caitlyn kiramman,” caitlyn rightfully takes her spot beside you, squeezing herself in between you and the stranger, “hi, honey.”

“hello,” she gives your little crowd a charming smile, though it holds a little bit of malice. she pulls you closer to her, “i may need to steal her away. we have some business to attend to, i’m afraid so.”

      without giving you a chance to talk, you two walk away—you’re glad though, you are tired of their stuffy personalities. a confused expression takes over your face when caitlyn leads you outside of the venue, leading you to a hallway and going through door after door.

your gaze observes the room, and you assume that the two of you are very far away from the party. she locks the door, unbottons her jacket, taking it off, and throws it on a couch.

“cait, where are w–”

      you didn’t get to finish your question because her lips were on yours the moment you spoke, her hand going on the side of your neck, fingers softly digging themselves into your skin to tilt your head up, deepening the kiss. 

you whimper when you feel her tongue take a swipe on your lips, asking you to open your mouth and you do. her tongue slithers in, licking every part of your mouth. she is demanding, yearning—like she wants all of you.

her knee presses between your legs, you let out a whimper of pleasure, grounding yourself on her thigh, your hands clutching the fabric of her shirt. 

“grind yourself on my leg, darling.” she pulls away to say, her voice deep and husky, “i’m waiting.”

      you’ve never been so happy to wear a side-slit dress. thanks to the access, you’re able to grind on caitlyn’s leg, rubbing your clothed pussy; the numb pleasure takes over your mind, caitlyn’s adding to your pleasure by leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck, collarbone, lips, everywhere her lips could reach.

your hips stutter, and your clit going sensitive—it’s maddening, you need more. but caitlyn won’t give it to you, not yet. you let out a gasp, burying your head on her shoulder, the pleasure slowly taking over your whole being; it’s as if your body is on fire. 

you start to feel lightheaded. desperate for more, you grab your hand, leading it under your dress, your other tugging it higher, a flush creeping up your neck at the thought of doing this outside your home.

“hmm?” caitlyn knows how to make you beg, she resists your movements, throwing a teasing smile your way, “what is it you want, my love? i’m gonna need you to say what you want.”

you narrow your eyes at her, your gaze betraying the frustration you try to keep at bay, “honey, you dragged me here. take responsibility.”

“of course, darling.” caitlyn clutches a handful of your dress, crumpling it as she pulls it higher to expose your lower body. she removes herself from you and kneels, her hand gripping your undergarments, yanking it down in a rough, deliberate motion, taking it off of you. “i’ll take responsibility.”

      she puts one leg over her shoulder, caitlyn looking up at you as she takes one lick at your awaiting cunt, studying how close your eyes, head tilting back against the wall; watching how you stifled a gasp, but a faint sound slips through. 

desire coursed through her, undeniable and all-consuming—she went harder, deeper, sinking further into you, her nose bumping with your clit. your hands dart down, gripping her hair with desperation and need. she flattens her tongue for you, and you take that chance to grind your hips. you can feel yourself dripping, it’s beginning to travel down your legs. 

a low hum of satisfaction reverbed around the room, sending vibrations on your cunt—caitlyn is loving every second of this. knowing that only she can see you break down like this. her dick is begging to be let out.

you push her away, your breaths coming in short pants, and due to her being caught off-guard, she fell on her backside, staring up at you wildly. in an instant, you’re on your knees, crawling to where she is, coming between her legs.

your fingers fumble with the button of her trousers, pulling it down along with her undergarments, setting her weeping cock free. 

“care to explain what’s going on here, caitlyn?” there’s huskiness to your voice, smooth yet commanding—your hands wrap themselves around the base of her cock, your mouth going dangerously near it, “go on then.”

caitlyn speaks the words, but her eyes give her away, “nothing is going on.”

“try again, baby.” you kiss her tip, a flinch is what you get from her. you continue to kiss everywhere: her dick, her thighs, her abdomen, her navel.

only did she speak when her lower body is covered in lipstick kisses, and she’s left throbbing in need. she grits out, “blame that woman. she was too touchy.”

“oh?” she lets out a groan of frustration, leaning back on her elbows, throwing her head back, and closing her eyes, “jealous?”

“i don’t get jealo–”

“then allow me to assure you.”

      you take her dick inside your mouth, inches after inches going down your throat, and all she can do is watch you take it. a guttural moan escapes her lips, her hips slightly lifting off of the ground—you close your eyes when you feel her go even deeper.

for a second, you stay there, deepthroating caitlyn, your nose buried in her neat patch of tamed hair, shaking your head ever so lightly; caitlyn loves it when you do that and she gives you a growl of appreciation.

she grabs your head, her other palm lying flat on the floor as leverage, and her hips take off. caitlyn’s eyes are unfocused, a distant haze clouding them as she soaks in the sight of you happily taking it.

“you love this, don’t– fuck, don’t you?” she murmurs. “always such a good girl for me.”

      to answer her question, you swallow around her, the motion made her falter, breaking her rhythm. your hands pressed firmly against her hips, keeping her down—you pull up, sucking only the tip, eyes meeting, and then slowly going back down.

“all the way to the base for me, darling,” she gently pushes your head to guide you, her cock twitching when your nose meets with her hair once again, “there you go. good girl. i’m close.”

you come back up suddenly, maneuvering yourself to straddle her hips, your hand darting down to lead her inside of you, “not yet.”

caitlyn grits out the words through clenched teeth, “it’ll be difficult in this position, darling.” she places her hands under your knees, your hands shooting out to wrap around her neck as she stands up.

      you feel the wall on your back, she drops one leg, keeping one leg lifted. the groans that leave you both as she enters you are raw, eyes fluttering close. god, she just keeps on sliding inside of you, you swear she’s kissing your cervix. 

caitlyn withdrew slowly, then returned in, taking her time with every inch. your hand comes down to cover your mouth, you’re still in public, after all. and caitlyn notices. a sudden slam of her hips made you let out a soft moan, but barely audible.

her relentless harsh thrusts never let up. caitlyn feels so good, you feel so good around her, you squeeze her so good; your whimpers, your ragged breaths hitting her throat, mewling out her name like a broken record every time the head of her gushing dick of precum hits your spot, it’s all too much for her. her head drops down to your shoulder as she cums—the wave of sudden warmth filling you taking you by surprise, your eyes unfocusing, tightening around her cock. 

by the time she’s done filling you up, she’s still moving her hips, pushing through her sensitivity. she needs this. she needs you.

she puts down your leg, turning you around, not pulling out of you. with your palms on the wall, her hands find your hips, holding it with a bruising grip, each slam of her hips on your backside sending you forward.

“only i could touch you like that, my love,” her frustration seeps through her thrusts, the claps of your hips mixing with your broken moans, “who does she think she is.”

      your knees buckle, but thanks to her strength, she holds you up. she may look lanky due to her height and weight, but she’s pure muscle. you grip her wrist, unable to form words because how could you when you feel her deep inside your gut, when you feel your slick trailing down your leg, making a mess on the floor, or simply the feeling of her cock going in and out of you.

your orgasm comes out of nowhere, catching you and her off-guard, your body shudders in pleasure, shaking and spasming, triggering another one from caitlyn. she bends down, groaning in your nape as she fills you again.

her thrusts transition into lazy ones as you ride out your orgasms. you nuzzle your cheek against her head, your throat beginning to sore, swallowing with difficulty. 

she pulls out of you, letting you two slide down the floor. you take this chance to lie on your back, your legs shivering, your forearm covering your sweaty face. you feel her firm but gentle touch on your legs.

her hands are back on the back of your knees again, forcing them up until you’re nearly folded in half, further ruining your dress, “one more.”

      she slides her cock in, your eyes rolling back in pleasure at the new angle—she is much deeper in this position. she feels your cunt flutter, pulling her in if that’s even possible. 

she begins her ruthless pace again, your breasts bouncing in your dress with the force of her thrust, determined to fill you up, to cum inside of you again and again. the pleasure is drowning you, whimpering when she hits your spot, then abusing it over and over and over again. you lift your head to see her dick disappear inside your sopping sensitive cunt, and to listen to the wet noises every time caitlyn thrusts back in you.

she wasn’t much better than you—her ruthless pace is becoming sloppy, uncoordinated, chasing her own high. her choked moans, breathy sighs as you milk her, feeds your ego.

you don’t make a sound when you cum for the second time, only the fluttering of your pussy makes it known. caitlyn doubles her effort by circling your clit, effectively intensifying your orgasm. only did she allow herself to cum when your fingers dig into her sides. 

she forces her dick in you, going deeper than ever before. the spurts of her gushing dick emit a soft sigh from you, she presses her face into your neck as she lets go of your legs. you hold her, playing with the hairs on the back of her head, not letting go until she’s done filling you up.

“fuck, cait, are you trying to get me pregnant or what.” you allow your limbs to relax, and you feel her cum drip down out of you. you’re sweaty and sticky all over, your throat sore, ears ringing, legs are shaking, pussy filled with her cum, eyes still unfocused, “you are an animal, honey.”

      you feel her kiss your jaw, her breaths still ragged, hitting your neck. you both moan as she pulls out, your face burns at the sight of her creamy cock, still twitching, and dripping with cum.

she sits back and leans on the wall, hissing when she grabbed the base of her dick. your whole body is screaming at you to lie down, however, you crawl again to her, sitting next to her. her eyes close shut and she lets her head fall on top of your head.

taking this chance, you wrap your hands around her softening dick; she reacts quickly, her fingers gripping your wrist.

“ah-ah. hands off, honey.�� you pull your hand off your wrist. slowly, you jerk her off, swiping your thumb over her head, “just one more.”

      you let a mischievous smirk form when you see her face contort into pain and pleasure, the sensitivity becoming too much for her.

you pump your hand, relishing every time her cock twitches in your hand, every time her hips try to pull away from your hand. you see her hands form a fist, this must be painful for her.

“i did say i’ll assure you, didn’t i?” you kiss her cheek, your mouth lingering on it, “can you cum for me again?”

caitlyn’s hips start to subtly thrust up to meet your pumps, she feels your every touch, every line on your hands. her mouth hands open, her eyes remain closed, she’s pulsing in your hand.

“you’re the only person i touch like this, cailtyn.” your breath hitting her ears adds to her pleasure that is spreading all over her body. “yeah? just like this?” 

“da-darling,” caitlyn gasps out, “too sen-sensitive.” you grip harder, pump harder, “please, i can’t anymo-more.” 

      her back arches off the wall, eyes opening suddenly when she feels you take her tip in your mouth, sucking her like candy. she makes an attempt at pulling her hips back but it’s no use. it hurts. It hurts so good.

you hollow your cheeks, your hand following your mouth as your slurp, gag, and suck. caitlyn doesn’t know what to do, it’s too much for her—the burning pleasure on her cock. yet she yearns to cum.

you go back up for air, taking her tip in, not giving her a break, and your hand pumps the remaining inches. “go-gonna cum, darling–”

      without letting her speak, you quickly push her in you, smiling when you feel her cum inside of you again. she wraps her arms around your torso, grounding you unto her dick as she thrusts up, her cum painting your walls white again.

she muffles her groans using your chest, hugging you so tightly, that her muscles are flexing under her clothes. a sigh of contentment leaves you when she stops rocking her hips up, her dick softening inside of you.

“still jealous?” her breaths were ragged, coming in short gasps as she tried to steady herself. “come back to me, cait.”

oh, you done broke her.

[delugyu]

cold, cursed city (part 1)

summary: You wish your best friend would just leave your budding relationship alone.

pairings: beomgyu x fem!reader, soobin x fem!reader

word count: 25.1k

tags: angst, smut (MDNI), best friend and roommate!beomgyu, reader has a crush on soobin, chaewon is reader’s other bestie, so much possessiveness and jealousy, beomgyu is extremely clingy, manipulation, lying, arguments, a lot of crying, guilt

smut tags: multiple smut scenes lol (2 in this part), switch!gyu, switch!reader, guided & mutual masturbation, dry humping, praise, little bit of degradation, nipple play, very desperate gyu, fingering, overstimulation, oral (f rec), dacryphilia?, pet names (angel, pretty girl, baby, etc)

notes: finally releasing this monster from its prison cell (my google docs). been working on this for a month because whiny possessive best friend gyu has been haunting me every day… anyway i hope u guys enjoy, and lmk what u think!

You hated the walk back to your apartment in the winter. It’s always so cold, and certain paths are always so icy. But you have no choice, and you’re fortunate enough that your job is only a ten minute walk away. It’s snowing today, though, hard enough to make you take each step with caution.

The wind whips across your face, making you squint to protect your eyes. You make it all of two minutes before giving up and going into the nearest public establishment you walk by, which happens to be your city’s library. You catch your breath as soon as you enter the building, taking off your jacket and folding it in your arms. You walk around slowly, looking for a comfortable chair to rest on. It’s unsurprisingly very quiet in the building. All you can hear is people typing on keyboards and hushed conversations every now and then. Everyone looks busy here.

You find a secluded area in the back corner of the library with three lounge chairs. You rush to take a seat there, letting out a sigh of relief as you sink into it. It’s right next to a heater, too. The yellow lights are soft and warm above you. You look out the window, watching the snow rage on. Now that you’re able to see clearly, you notice how there’s a good four inches on the ground. There’s a few people passing by here and there, but the streets are mostly empty. Even the cars are few and far between.

You fish your phone out of the pocket of your abandoned jacket to call Beomgyu. He should probably know that you’ll be back later than usual. By the looks of it, you could be waiting in this library for another hour.

“Hiii,” he says. You can hear his smile in his voice, and it makes you light up.

“Hi Gyu. Did you see the storm outside?” you ask, voice hushed so as to not disturb anyone. You don’t think he had work today, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed home all day, unaware of the weather.

“Yeah, we’re supposed to get six inches or something. Are you on your way back?”

You groan, “I was, but the wind is ridiculous right now. I had to take shelter in some library.”

He laughs at you. “Should I pick you up?”

“I don’t think you should be driving right now honestly,” you answer.

“It’s gonna get dark if you wait it out though,” he reasons. “I’ll pick you up, I don’t mind.” You hear the jingle of his car keys when he grabs them.

“No, don’t, you can just pick me up once all the roads are safe,” you offer instead. “You know you’re not a good enough driver to handle this weather.”

“Wow. I’m gonna drive through it just to prove I can now,” he says.

“Then the next time I see your face will be in some news article explaining the crash,” you snide.

“No, it’ll be an article about all the sick wheelies and 360s I did despite the storm.”

“Yeah right,” you laugh. “How are you even gonna do that with your shitbox?” You realize you’ve been talking a little loud when you see someone’s head whip over at you. You sink into your seat in mild embarrassment.

“I’m so good I could figure out a way to make this car fly.” You roll your eyes even though he can’t see it.

“Oh I’m sure,” you say. “Alright, I’ll call you back when you can pick me up. I’m just gonna chill here ‘til then.”

“Okay. Hope they plow the roads so my shitty driving doesn’t kill us,” he says, and you know he’s doing that stupid sarcastic pout.

“You’re such a drama queen,” you reply.

“You love it.”

“I guess I wouldn’t put up with it for so long if I didn’t.” You take another look out the window to check the weather. The wind calmed down a little, but not enough to go back out. Plus, you’re comfortable right now. “Well, I’ll see you, Gyu.”

“See ya.”

As soon as the call ends, you relax further into the lounge chair. Your posture is horrid, with your back being more on the seat than it is on the back of the chair, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Work was awful today: your boss scolded you about missing paperwork, a potential partnership with another company fell through, and your coworker wouldn’t stop talking about her family problems on your lunch break. Thank God tomorrow’s Friday.

You’re scrolling through Instagram when you notice a tall figure coming into your field of vision from over your phone screen. You look up and realize he’s coming closer to you. Your eyes widen for a second in panic, and you scramble to straighten your back out and look more presentable. You worry that perhaps this is a worker about to kick you out. Why? You don’t know. Maybe you’re about to find out.

You look innocently up at the man as he finishes crossing the few steps it takes to reach you. You try to ignore how cute he is. And tall. And sexy. And really, really tall—did you say tall? He’s so attractive and so your type.

“Hey, I’m sorry, could I sit here?” he ends up asking. He points to the chair furthest from you, since you took the right-most chair of the three. You’re a little stunned for a second, then you remember you have to talk.

“Yeah, of course,” you say, nodding quickly.

“Thank you. All the tables were taken,” he explains quietly, putting a bag down beside his chair.

“I know, it’s weird to see a library so full,” you say. He takes his laptop out of his bag and opens it on his lap. You think you might be watching him too closely, so you snap your head in another direction. There really is no empty table, you note as you look at all the people in the library.

“Normally it’s not. It must be because of the weather,” the man explains. You look back at him when he speaks, and a small smile finds its way onto your face when you see his bunny-like features. You’re never the type to ogle at someone like this, but he’s seriously so pretty. You can’t help it.

“I mean, I’m only in here because of the weather, so I believe it,” you say. The man smiles. You swoon.

“Makes sense. I’d remember if I’d seen you before.”

You tilt your head. “Why?”

The man looks down at his laptop, as if he can’t look you in the eye when he speaks next. “Ah, no reason. I-I’m normally good with faces.”

He’s adorable. You figure this is how you can pass time until the storm is over.

“So you come here a lot?” you ask. You hope you’re not annoying him with all the conversation, but he seems happy to respond.

“I do my work here pretty much every day. I like it better than doing it from my home,” he answers.

“Oh wow, you work remotely?”

“Yep, and I get to choose my hours too. It’s a perk of the job.” He starts typing something on his laptop. You watch his diligent fingers fly across the keyboard. He has big hands. Your head is reeling a little.

“I wish my job was like that,” you say. “Well, I’ll let you work now. I don’t want to distract you.” You relax back into your chair, not realizing how close you’ve been leaning in during the conversation.

“No, I honestly like the conversation! It makes the time go by faster,” he rushes to say. You perk back up and can’t control how you beam. You’d be lying if you said that wasn’t exactly what you wanted to hear.

“I’ll make sure to keep talking in that case,” you giggle. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Soobin,” he introduces, looking into your eyes kindly.

You tell him your name. “Nice to meet you,” you say.

“Nice to meet you too.”

“So, what exactly do you do for work?” you ask. You’re surprised at how well he can focus on the conversation and on his work. It’s impossible for you to multitask like that.

“I do software engineering for an insurance company. We just finished a major project a couple days ago, so there’s not a ton to do for the rest of the week.”

“Damn, sounds like there’s money in that.”

He laughs, “I guess so.”

“My job’s a lot less interesting than that,” you start, going on to explain your position, then about the mess of today at work, and your conversation with Soobin flows from anything to everything until you remember that Beomgyu’s waiting to pick you up. You look out the window to monitor the weather. It looks like the snow has long since stopped. The streets are plowed, only illuminated by the streetlights since it’s gotten so dark. You find yourself disappointed to have to cut the evening so short.

“Are you leaving already?” Soobin asks.

“Yeah, my friend’s gonna pick me up.” When you unlock your phone, you find that Beomgyu’s already texted you a couple times. You also find that it’s been an hour and a half since you last called him. Holy shit, the time really did fly. You open his messages to read what he sent.

[Beomgyu] are u readyyyyy

[Beomgyu] ANSWER ME WHERED U GO

You call him, and he picks up after only the first ring.

“Finally,” he said. “You had me thinking you started going back on your own or something and died.”

“Pfft, you think so lowly of my survival skills,” you respond. “You should head out now before I lose any beauty sleep.”

“Oh, we can’t have that,” he jokes. You hear him grab his stuff and shut the door behind him. “I hate parallel parking so just wait for me in front of the building, I’ll pull up.”

“Okay. Thanks, Gyu~” you say sweetly.

“Mhm, see you,” he says.

“See you.”

The drive is only a few minutes. You should probably head out front now. You look back to Soobin.

“Hey, thanks for the conversation,” you say. “Made my shitty day a little better.”

“Same here,” Soobin agrees. He watches you put on your coat, getting ready to leave. You don’t think he has it in him to make the next move, so you do it instead.

“You know, it would be a shame if I had to leave right now without your number…” You blush as you say it, looking off meekly for just a second, then back to him to see him giggling. (You? Make him? Giggle? Fucking score!!!)

He motions for your phone with his hand. You can’t wipe the grin off your face as you open a new contact page. You watch him insert his information.

“Let’s meet again soon,” he suggests when he hands his phone back to you.

You nod. “I’ll be in contact,” you say and wave your phone in your hand. Perhaps you’ll be making more stops to the library now.

You seem to exit the library at the same time Beomgyu arrives. You get into his car quickly to avoid the cold weather, shivering once you enter the car.

“Why isn’t your heater on?” you ask, fiddling with the buttons on the dash to turn on the heat.

“My heater barely works. It won’t even kick in before we get back home,” he explains, shutting the heat off again. You make a face at him.

“Then drive, I’m freezing,” you insist.

“I’m on it boss.” He gives you a salute.

His music plays quietly in the background of the ride. He has a nice taste in music, the type fitting for night drives.

“What’d you do today?” you ask him.

“Play League,” he says. You laugh at him, and he looks away from the road for a second to smile at you. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Why do you always make me decide?” you complain.

“Cause I don’t know what I want.”

“I don’t know what you want either, you always reject my choices.”

It’s a short drive to your apartment complex, so you arrive quickly. You rush to get inside once Beomgyu’s car is parked. The moment you open the door to your apartment, you fall flat onto the couch. You don’t care how your face digs into the cushion, it just feels nice to alleviate the day’s stress.

Beomgyu follows behind not long after. “Damn, you ran here,” he remarks. He stays at the door for a minute, probably putting all his stuff away, before he approaches you. You feel him taking your boots off your feet, which you forgot to do in your haste.

“Thanks,” you murmur into the couch cushion.

“You’re welcome.” He leaves you for a moment to put your shoes on the shoe rack by the door. When he comes back to you, he���s sliding your jacket off your arms. He folds it sloppily and plops it on the coffee table.

You turn your head so it’s facing him instead of being pressed into the couch. “What’d you decide for dinner?” you ask him.

He laughs. “Wasn’t that your job?”

“No.” You sit up with great effort. He sits on the other side of the couch and extends his legs out. You freak out when he rests his feet on you. “Nasty!!”

“I got socks on!” he exclaims in defense. You slap his feet away until he gives up and tucks his legs into his body.

“What time is it?” you ask.

Beomgyu checks his phone. “Seven.”

“I’m too tired to cook anything,” you say.

“I think we have leftovers we can just heat up,” he says, then gets up to look in the fridge and make sure. He holds a container out to you. “You want?”

Looks good enough. “Yeah,” you answer. He closes the fridge and grabs two plates.

“I’m so nice, cooking for you,” he says, portioning the food between your plates. “How long do I nuke it for?”

“Try two minutes.”

The rest of the night follows like any other: you eat dinner with Beomgyu, you watch a little TV, you get ready for bed, then you sleep. You hope a certain tall, attractive man visits you in your dreams tonight.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

When you walk back home from work the next day, it’s considerably better in terms of weather. Your eyes linger on the library as you pass it by, and your hand twitches around your phone. Soobin still hasn’t texted you. You’re a little disappointed, honestly. Every notification you received throughout the day made you light up, thinking it might be him. You might just put your pride aside and text him yourself at this point. You even think about walking back and waiting in the library for him, but then you’d just look weird.

When you get back home, Beomgyu isn’t there. His work schedule is so inconsistent, you never know when to expect him. He’s not a 9-5 worker like you, so you suppose that’s where the difference in flexibility comes in.

You lean against the kitchen counter and find Soobin’s contact on your phone. You open a new conversation with him, excited to talk again. You don’t think too much about your messages before you send them.

Hiiii

It’s the girl from the library

You shut your phone off after, not expecting an answer for a while. You turn on your playlist and busy yourself with getting undressed, wiping off your makeup, and showering. You go back to the kitchen once you’re finished to figure out what you’re gonna make yourself for dinner. As you’re gathering a list of ingredients in your head, your phone vibrates on the counter. You grin as you rush to look at the messages, making sure not to open the chat immediately though.

[Soobin] Hi! I’m glad you didn’t forget about me

You find yourself giggling at the message. You’ll respond in a few minutes, not wanting to seem desperate by opening it right away. You pass the time by taking out some ingredients for the meal you’ll make tonight. As you wait for your veggies to steam, you decide that now you can answer Soobin.

Forget you? How could I?

Hehehe

Wyd??

You’re in a very chipper mood, swaying around as you stir your vegetables and decide they’ve softened enough. You hum the tune of a song while you add noodles into a pot of boiling water. Your phone buzzes when you’re in the middle of making the sauce, so you try to hasten your movements. You finish pouring everything in, giving it a quick stir and making sure the heat is on low before running to your phone.

[Soobin] Drinking and watching TV lol

[Soobin] How about you?

You take a picture of your stovetop, sending your work in progress to him.

Working on my culinary creations

You’re done making your meal when he replies to that.

[Soobin] Looks yummy

You laugh and open your camera, taking a picture to send of the plated meal. You type your response immediately, not caring about waiting a few minutes between anymore.

Tastes decent

It seems he doesn’t care to wait to respond to you either, cause his next text is immediate.

[Soobin] Woah five stars

Your conversation fizzles out not long after, but you feel satisfied with it. Even as you clean your dishes, your smile doesn’t leave your face. You almost forgot how exciting it is to have a crush.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The next time you see Soobin is Monday after work at the library. You offered to hang out with him as he works, and he seemed more than happy to accept. He even asked for your coffee order so that he could bring you a cup. You need the caffeine after such a tiring day at work, you don’t care if it keeps you up until midnight. The coffee’s still hot, but not scalding, when you arrive. You take a seat in the same chair you sat in when you first met.

“Thank you for the coffee,” you say, using the disposable cup to warm your hands. Your face still burns from how cold the walk here was.

“Of course,” he replies. “How was work today?”

You shrug. “Not much to do. I almost fell asleep at my desk. What’s on your agenda for the day?”

You pretend to understand the techy language he spews back at you when he answers. You take a sip of your coffee, humming in appreciation at the taste.

“Where do you get your coffee from? This place does it so good,” you ask, trying to look at the cup for a logo.

“Actually, I get it from a cat cafe near where I live,” he answers. You gasp and look at him in awe.

“What?! Is it new? How have I never heard of it?” You always wanted to go to a cat cafe. Their delicious coffee is just a bonus.

“I don’t think it’s new, but it’s kind of secluded, and the sign is small, so it’s easy to miss.”

“You have to bring me sometime,” you insist.

“Noted,” he laughs.

It gets quiet when Soobin starts focusing on his work, which you don’t mind. You look around the library, taking in the atmosphere. Soobin was right, there are way less people here today than there were on the night of the storm. The library is warm and nice and never loses power, so it’s not a bad place to turn to, you suppose.

You turn on your phone and find a text notification from Beomgyu. You open it.

[Beomgyu] are u on ur way back

You usually tell him when you won’t be back after work, but you guess you forgot to this time. It’s reasonable for him to ask, since you’d be back home by now on a regular day. You explain yourself in a text message back.

No lol

I’m out with somebody rn

I’ll be back for dinner

[Beomgyu] nooo don’t make me cook

You snicker at his response.

Okay I’ll pick up something on my way back

[Beomgyu] muahahaha yessss

[Beomgyu] who are u with?

You think for a moment on how to answer the question. You don’t want to tell Beomgyu about a guy you’re only just starting to see. He’ll flood you with questions that you don’t want to deal with if this ends up going nowhere.

A friend you don’t know lol

You put your phone down when Soobin starts talking to you again. It’s so easy to sink into conversation with him. You find yourself asking most of the questions, liking his eagerness to explain little things about himself. You talk about yourself here and there too.

Time flies yet again, and you realize that you should be heading back home now. You remember promising Beomgyu to pick up dinner on the way back, but you’re not sure where to go. You look over at Soobin.

“Do you know any good spots for food nearby? I still gotta grab dinner,” you ask.

“Yeah, there’s a restaurant that does really good fried chicken, it’s not too far from here,” he answers, then tells you the name of the place. You commit it to memory. You’re about to thank him before he starts up again, “I’ll come with you. I haven't eaten much today.” He starts logging off and shutting down his laptop. You’re so excited at the prospect that you don’t turn him down, even though it means Beomgyu will have to wait a little longer for his food.

The walk to the restaurant is quick and filled with small talk. You get him to laugh hard at one of your jokes, and it feels better than scratching a winning ticket. At the restaurant, you sit across from him in a comfortable booth.

“This one is really good,” Soobin says, pointing to one of the options on the menu. You purse your lips and nod.

“Sounds interesting,” you say. “Normally I go for spicy chicken though.”

“The sauce is so good on it. At least try some of mine,” he insists.

The waiter comes and you order your food. As you wait for it to arrive, you figure you should ask Beomgyu what he wants from here. You send him the link to the menu online.

Lmk what you want

[Beomgyu] omgggg that place looks so good

You feel even happier with your choice to go here now. Hopefully Beomgyu won’t feel bad that you ate without him. You don’t linger on the worry, though, not when Soobin starts telling you about how his first job was at a restaurant that reminds him of this one. You lean into your palm, staring at his handsome face with a dopey smile. Maybe it’s just you, but today just feels like more proof that there’s a lot of potential between you two.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Visiting Soobin at the library becomes a common post-work habit for you. You see him another three times in the next week. There’s something about him that won’t let your heart sit still, fluttering at each little thought of the man.

Your coworkers noticed you had some more pep in your step, and you wonder if having a crush is really giving you a glow. You were just excited to get out of work and go to the library. Even Beomgyu says something when you get back home.

“Someone looks happy,” he says from the couch as you walk into your apartment. You didn’t notice how hard you were still cheesing until he mentioned it. You take off your shoes and jacket.

“Maybe a little,” you giggle. Beomgyu follows you when you walk into your room. It’s normal for him to accompany you while you get unready. He sits on your bed, and you sit at your vanity.

“What are you so smiley for?” he asks. You guess your happiness is contagious, cause when you look at him through your mirror, he’s smiling too.

“Oh, nothing…” you say, building up the anticipation. Truthfully, ever since you left Soobin today, you were planning on how you should tell Beomgyu about him. You’re excited; you haven’t had a real relationship since high school, and you feel it coming up on you now. Any day now, you’ll get the courage to ask him out. Everything has been friendly so far, but you can feel the undertone of romance behind it all.

“What? Tell me!” he exclaims. He walks over to you, standing right by you as you clean your face. “Did you get a promotion?”

You laugh, “I wish.”

“Then what?” he asks. “Is it your new friend?” You shrug and sigh girlishly. You see his smile falter a little in the mirror.

He stops guessing and just watches you take off your makeup. He stays stood next to you, entertaining himself with the little trinkets on your vanity. His silence is a little weird, but you don’t break it with conversation either.

You finish taking care of your face and get up to pull some comfier clothes from your dresser. You throw them on your bed and look over at Beomgyu. He takes the hint and turns to the wall so that you can take off your work clothes.

“Did you see the group chat?” he asks as you slide a loose shirt on. You hum in confirmation. Your friend group is planning to go out together to a nice bar tomorrow night. You even mentioned it to Soobin, gauging his reaction to see if he’d potentially come. “Did you wanna go?”

Something in your heart urges you to spill your secret now. You want to try to sound casual about it, even though you feel like you could talk on and on about Soobin. You don’t let yourself pause too long, deciding to just speak without thinking too much about it.

“Yeah, I’m thinking I’ll invite the guy I’ve been talking to recently,” you say. You’re not prepared for how Beomgyu whips his head around and looks at you like you said something insane. You finish pulling up your sweatpants quickly, but you don’t think he even notices.

“What?! What guy you’re talking to?” he asks, and you’re taken aback by how appalled he sounds.

You put your hands up. “Woah. Chill.”

“No. What are you talking about??” he pushes.

“I’ve already been talking to him for like, two weeks, it’s fine.” You figure he must be upset because he’s cautious of you being with men you barely know. That’s fair, you’re weary when your girl friends bring up new men sometimes too.

He’s quiet for a moment, and you think he’s dropped the case until he starts back up, “Is this the same person you’ve been seeing after work?”

“Yeah, he’s a really nice guy,” you answer.

“You said you were with a friend.” There’s something accusatory in his voice. You tense up as defensiveness flows through you.

“Because I was?” you say incredulously.

“Don’t tell me that’s why you came home so smitten today. I had a feeling.” He looks at you like he’s disgusted, but you can’t figure out why. It’s not like you did something wrong.

“You’re not happy for me?” you ask. He looks away and huffs out a laugh. His arms are crossed over his chest, and you’re baffled as to why he’s taking so much offense to this.

“No, I don’t know this guy,” he says.

“That’s why I’d be bringing him tomorrow.”

“Why? It’s just supposed to be us.” You sit on your bed, and he doesn’t follow. He doesn’t even move from the spot he’s standing.

“Just give him a chance. I think you guys could be friends,” you suggest.

“Fat fucking chance. No way,” he refuses. Now you’re getting upset, cause why the hell can’t he at least try to hang out with the guy you just said you’re interested in? As your best friend, he should be in full support of you finding love.

“Well, I’ll talk to the others about it and see what they think.” You pull your blankets up and go on your phone, not paying Beomgyu any more attention. You hear him scoff and leave the room.

You lay on your side and replay the argument in your head. Did you bring it up wrong? Maybe you introduced the idea at the wrong moment. Maybe Beomgyu had a bad day, and he’s just lashing out at you. He never does that though, why would he start now? You’re so frustrated. You wish you knew why Beomgyu cares so much.

Whenever you see him with girls, you don’t make a big deal. You help him with what little gestures to do to make her feel special. You always give him advice. His relationships never last, though, and he hasn’t seen anyone since you two moved together over a year ago.

Throughout the three years you and Beomgyu have been friends, you haven’t dated a single person. You guess you were wrong to assume that he’d be happy to see you finally do so. Did he want you to tell him sooner? It’s only been a couple weeks, though. That’s pretty soon.

You regret saying anything now. Beomgyu might not even go to the get-together if you ruined his mood that much. Maybe you shouldn’t go. All your friends might get pissed at you the way Beomgyu did. You don’t know what the right way is to introduce Soobin.

You throw an arm over your eyes and scowl at yourself. Why are you wallowing in self-pity? Beomgyu had no right to react like that! He forgets that you can do whatever you want with your life!

The smaller voice in your head reminds you that Beomgyu has always been a good friend to you. He rarely gets upset at you, and whenever he has, he was within his right. But this time? Really? Was it justified? You almost groan in frustration. You don’t know. All you know is that you’re in dire need of talking to another girl now. You unlock your phone and open your chat with Chaewon.

Heyyy you’re going to the bar with us tomorrow right??

[Chaewon] YES!!!!

You smile at her response. You love her bubbliness. It’s impossible to feel sad when you’re talking to her.

Thank god

We should get ready together at your place

I’ll just head there right after work

You hope she takes up your offer. It would be a huge stress relief for you. It would also be a good time to gauge her reaction on Soobin, as well as her thoughts on Beomgyu’s reaction. Debriefing life—even the bad moments—is never dull with her. It’s like she always knows what to say, and she’s always got what you need to hear.

A smaller part of this is motivated by the urge to avoid another argument with Beomgyu tomorrow. If he ends up coming, great. If he doesn’t, hopefully it won’t weigh on your mind so much. You don’t want to ruin your mood right before hanging out with all your friends.

[Chaewon] Omg yes please

[Chaewon] I have the cutest dress for you

You giggle and kick your feet in the air. Maybe you should ditch Soobin and let Chaewon carry you on her arm tomorrow night instead. She’s your hero right now.

I literally love you

[Chaewon] I LOVE YOU MORE

[Chaewon] IM SO EXCITED

ME TOO!!!!

Your shoulders feel less heavy after that. You shut your phone off and let out a sigh of relief. You find yourself excited for tomorrow to come now.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Luckily for you, your work day passes quickly. You speed walk the whole way to Chaewon’s place, not wanting to waste a single moment. You’re excited for tonight, thankful that everyone said they’d be able to come. You try to push back the worry that Beomgyu might not go.

You’re out of breath when you knock on Chaewon’s door. She doesn’t leave you waiting long, swinging it open with a squeal and hugging you immediately.

“How are you?” she asks as she ushers you in and shuts the door. She takes your jacket for you as you slide off your shoes. She hangs it on a cute little coat rack.

“I’m good now that I’m with you!” you say, beaming. She takes your hand and drags you to her bedroom.

“Let’s not waste any time, we gotta look hot before the hour’s up!” In her bedroom, she already has two small bins of makeup products on the floor. She gives you her makeup mirror and uses a smaller handheld one for herself.

“Oh, I already did my makeup,” you say, trying to hand the mirror back to her. She raises an eyebrow at you.

“You mean your work makeup?”

“What’s wrong with it?” you ask, looking in the mirror to check it. Looks fine to you.

“It’s cute, but it’s so modest. You need to look sexy,” she responds. You nod and point at her like she made a great argument.

“You’re right, let me see what you got in these,” you say as you dig through her bins. You pull out the palettes and glosses that intrigue you. She also picks some products out for you, telling you how good they’d look on you. You grab a few of your own products from your purse.

As you both start applying, you think back to Soobin. You wonder how he’ll react seeing you in non-work attire. You bite back a smile at the thought. You still have to ask Chaewon about bringing him, though. You hope that Soobin kept his schedule free for this, but also that he won’t be disappointed if you don’t end up inviting him in the case that Chaewon thinks you shouldn’t.

“I got a surprise announcement,” you start, immediately grabbing Chaewon’s attention. She looks at you with wide eyes.

“I’m scared. Please don’t be pregnant,” she says.

“Well, there’s this guy…” You can’t even finish your sentence before Chaewon starts screaming. You burst out laughing, and she smacks the ground in amusement.

“Okay, okay, tell me more,” she pries once she calms down.

“His name is Soobin. He’s really cute, but also so hot. Like, Chaewon. I swear. I was drooling when I first saw him.” Her jaw is dropped open as she hears that.

“How'd you meet?” she asks.

“We met at the library a week ago and have been talking every day since,” you explain. “And girl… he does tech for an insurance company. That sounds like money to me.”

“Bring me to his mansion when you get married,” she jokes.

“Oh for sure. Imagine though,” you say.

“That’s so good for you. I could actually cry for you. You needed this.”

“Right?! See, at least you get it.”

“I mean, who wouldn’t? He sounds so good.” You pause doing your makeup to give her a pointed look. You emit an exaggerated groan and lean your head back.

“Don’t get me started,” you say.

“Well now I have to hear.”

“When I brought it up to Beomgyu, he completely freaked out. I mentioned bringing Soobin with me tonight and he just lost it.”

Chaewon scoffs. “Screw him, I wanna meet the guy! Who cares what Beomgyu thinks?!”

“I care, I don’t want him to be pissed at me,” you say, and Chaewon frowns.

“He’s just mad cause you’ll be getting it and he’ll be watching from the sidelines,” she says. You push at her shoulder and she laughs.

“You should try to set him up with someone so he gets off my ass,” you suggest, only half-joking.

“As if he’ll ever look at someone besides you.” You tilt your head upon hearing that response, not knowing what she means. She senses your confusion and continues, “I’m pretty sure he likes you.”

You rush to deny the claim, but your heart picks up in some weird sense of panic and shock. “That’s not it at all,” you say. You shake your hand frantically in denial.

“Keep telling yourself that. Why else would he freak out like that?” she asks.

“Oh my gosh… I’m not even hearing this one out,” you dismiss, locking this conversation away to never think about it again. “So, you think I should tell Soobin to come?”

“Yes! One million percent. I have got to see this handsome stranger,” she answers.

“Okay, I’ll text him once I’m done with this.”

“I haven’t been this excited in so long!” Chaewon squeals. Honestly? You either.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The moment you find your friends’ table at the bar, you notice Beomgyu’s absence. Your heart sits heavy in your chest upon realizing that. Chaewon grabs your hand, and you wonder if you were wearing your guilt on your face. Her reminded presence is reassuring. You sit next to her at the table and greet all your friends.

“Did anyone pregame?” Aeri asks. “Cause I totally did.”

“Girl, I hope you Ubered here then,” Chaewon says.

“I drank a little, but only enough to feel a buzz,” Julie answers.

“Ayy,” Aeri cheers while high-fiving Julie.

“Meanwhile we were too busy scrambling into these dresses to think about drinking,” you say, pointing between yourself and Chaewon.

“You look hot, it was worth it,” Julie says.

“Is Beomgyu not coming?” Yeonjun asks, looking at you.

“I’m not sure. I thought he was,” you answer.

“He better,” Julie says. “The whole group hasn’t gotten together in so long!”

“Speaking of, there’s gonna be an addition to the group tonight,” Chaewon announces, shimmying her shoulders and looking at you. You roll your eyes at her with a fond smile.

“I asked this guy I’m seeing to come by tonight,” you inform, and the table erupts at the news.

“When’s he coming? I’ll give you my brutally honest opinion after seeing him,” Aeri says.

“Oh, you’ll love him,” you say. “Don’t flirt too hard, I can’t have you stealing him from me.”

“So a little flirting is okay?” she jokes. You lean over the table to swat her shoulder.

“He kinda gives shy vibes, so don’t be surprised if he’s not as energetic as us,” you say.

“Let’s just get him super drunk then,” Yeonjun suggests. The table bursts into a chorus of ‘yeahhhh’s.

“Oh hey, look who came,” Chaewon says, putting a hand on your shoulder and pointing her chin to Beomgyu walking towards your table. You hope your smile doesn’t look forced and awkward, but it feels it as he comes closer. Your eyes dart from Chaewon, to your other friends, to your hands on the table, then back to Beomgyu. Your heart pounds in fear that Beomgyu might still be mad at you. He wouldn’t come if he was that upset still, right?

He sits next to Yeonjun, and you’re holding your breath as you gauge the look on his face. He looks… happy. You release your breath slowly. He holds no anger in his eyes when he meets your gaze. A weight lifts from your shoulders.

Yeonjun slaps a hand onto Beomgyu’s shoulder. “Finally!” he exclaims.

“Hey, you think I’d miss a chance to drink with you guys?” Beomgyu responds.

“Okay, let’s get started. Should we each just open our own tab?” Julie asks.

“Yeah, that works,” you answer.

“Wait, I have no money, who wants to be my sugar mommy for the night,” Aeri says.

“You can put yours on mine,” Chaewon offers. Aeri wraps her arms around her for a quick hug in thanks.

“I will pay you back in double when I get my next paycheck,” Aeri promises.

“Ahh come on, don’t worry about that, let’s just have fun,” she responds. Chaewon pulls you up with her to go over to the bartender. Aeri follows along with the two of you. The other three probably split off on their own to figure out their orders.

The three of you take a shot for good luck first, then you work on your own drinks. You’re all giggling as you head back to your table with your drinks. Beomgyu and Yeonjun are back with their own beers, and Julie is nowhere to be seen.

“You think Julie’s drunk already?” Aeri asks the table.

“Oh, she’s been drunk. When she says she’s a little buzzed, that means she’s fucking wasted,” Chaewon says. Everyone laughs because it’s true.

You don’t know how much time passes where you guys just catch up on life and joke around, but at some point you feel your phone vibrate from a text notification. It’s Soobin.

[Soobin] I’ll be there in a minute! Please wait for me at the front so I can find you

“Guys, I gotta go grab Soobin, I’ll be right back,” you say. Everyone’s still caught up in conversation and doesn’t pay much mind to your announcement—everyone except Beomgyu. His eyebrows are upturned, eyes wide as they follow you when you stand.

You pat his head. “I’ll be back,” you reassure.

You don’t wait long by the bar door. Soobin finds you as soon as he walks in, greeting you with a hug. It takes your breath away for a second. It’s fleeting, and it’s over before you know it, but it makes your heart race.

“How have you been?” he asks. You’re standing so close that you have to bend your neck to look up at him.

“Good, better now that you’re here,” you say. He turns his head away to laugh. It’s unbearably cute. You have to stop yourself from squeezing his face in your hands.

“Do your friends know I’m coming?”

“Of course,” you answer. “They can’t wait.”

“Oh gosh,” he says, following you as you lead him to your table. It seems like Julie came back in the time you were gone, cause everyone’s there when you get back. All the girls squeal upon seeing Soobin. You give them a knowing grin.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Yeonjun greets. “Sit, sit.” He motions to the chairs on the opposite side of the table from him. You sit next to Julie, and Soobin sits next to you. Right across from you is Beomgyu. You tighten your lips when you see him looking off as if uninterested. You pray he can be amicable.

“Yeah, so, this is the boy,” you say.

“I’m Soobin,” he introduces with an air of awkwardness. It endears you.

The next few minutes are filled with your friends getting to know Soobin. They make good conversation, and Soobin responds well. Yeonjun even grabs a drink for Soobin at some point—“Be careful, he’s got plans to get you super drunk,” Julie joked—and it seems to loosen him up a bit. You just can’t help but notice how quiet Beomgyu is, though.

“I’m gonna grab another drink,” you announce, patting Soobin’s back as you get up.

You seat yourself on a barstool, tapping your fingers against the bar as you wait for the bartender to come to you. You hum along to the song playing.

“Hello again,” the bartender greets. You shoot your head up and smile. “Same as before?” You’re surprised he remembers your order when there’s so many people here tonight. You guess he’s just good at his job.

“Yes, please,” you say. You go back to humming and tapping to the beat of whatever song the bar is playing. You look back at your table for a second. Everyone looks like they’re enjoying themselves. It makes you happy to see your friends get along with Soobin.

You check your phone for any important messages, but all you received was a bunch of meaningless notifications from various apps. You shove your phone into your purse so you stop looking at it. You’re here to socialize.

A hand lands on your shoulder, prompting you to look back. You were expecting it to be Soobin, but you’re not surprised when you see that it’s Beomgyu. You give him a smile as he takes the stool next to you. You look back at the bartender, and Beomgyu looks behind the two of you at the rest of the people here. Beomgyu’s arm stays slumped around you.

When your drink is handed off to you, you turn your full attention to your friend. “What’s up?” you ask. You swivel your seat so you can face him directly, forcing his arm off you. He leans into the bar, getting—probably too—comfortable.

“I just wanted to see you,” he answers.

“How’s your night going?” You take a sip of your drink, licking your lips after. His eyes follow the movement.

“Alright, I guess,” he says. He looks out to the crowd again.

“You should go dance,” you suggest.

He shakes his head. “I only like dancing with you.”

“Isn’t that sweet,” you tease. He matches your smile before stealing your drink and taking a sip from it. “Oh my god, you and your big ass gulps, all the time,” you reprimand jokingly.

“I barely drank any of it,” he defends with a pout. You laugh and pat his head to summon his lips back upward. It works immediately, of course.

“How’s everyone doing at the table?” you ask.

He shrugs. “They’re having a good time. Soobin talks a lot.” Soobin wasn’t talking that much when you were at the table, so you’re surprised to hear that. Maybe the alcohol started really coursing through his system in the short time you were gone.

“That’s good,” you respond.

“Are you going home with him?” he asks, looking at you with big round eyes. Usually Beomgyu mellows down and laughs a lot when he drinks, but this time he’s a little different.

“With Soobin?” you clarify. He nods. “Probably not. I don’t think so.”

“Good,” Beomgyu says quickly. You laugh.

“Why good?”

“Don’t want him stealing you from me.”

“You’re such a child,” you chuckle. He holds your hand over the table when you let go of your glass. It’s not abnormal for him to be touchy with you, so you don’t question it. He brings your interlocked hands up to his face and leans into them. His face feels warm on the back of your hand.

“Let me know when you wanna head to ours,” Beomgyu says. He’s being cute right now, you can’t help it when you let go of his hand so you can poke his nose. He beams at you.

“Let’s go back to the table,” you say, grabbing your drink and getting out of your seat.

“No, stay here with me.” He’s so needy. You look him up and down, assessing him.

“How much did you drink?” you ask. You swear he only had a couple beers. He ushers you back into your seat with a gentle hand on your hip. “Gyu, I can’t just leave Soobin for the rest of the night.”

“He’s having fun. Don’t mind him.”

“I brought him here though,” you reason.

He sighs, and his eyes lose their sparkle. He turns his head so he’s not facing you anymore. “Fine,” he says.

“You can’t seriously be upset with me for this?”

He still doesn’t look at you. “I’m not.”

You bite your tongue and decide to leave it at that, even though you know he’s lying. He’s jealous for no reason; it’s not like you’re going to abandon your best friend all because you might have a man in your life. Soobin and you aren’t even anything more than friends right now. You wish you could talk some sense into him, but you don’t want to do that in public.

Beomgyu will wallow alone for the rest of the night if you leave him now. The choice is on you: abandon Soobin at the table, or abandon Beomgyu right here. It’s not like there’s a correct option.

You look at your table. Soobin’s intently listening to Yeonjun as he rambles on about something, while the girls seem to be in a conversation of their own. Does Soobin need you right now? He seems like he’s holding his own. Your eyes fall back to the boy that definitely does.

“Beomgyu,” you call, shaking his shoulder so he’ll look at you. He does. “Let’s go home.” His smile returns immediately.

You already start thinking of what excuse you’ll text Soobin later.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You wake up feeling suffocated by both the tight dress you’re still wearing and by half of Beomgyu’s body weight being sprawled on top of you. Curse him for insisting on watching a movie with you last night—not only is he crushing you now, but your laptop fell off the bed sometime during the night. He better pray it survived the landing. Neither of you even finished the damn movie.

You push him off of you, not caring how hard you do it because of how much of a heavy sleeper he is after he drinks. You sit up and look at yourself in your mirror. Your makeup’s a little smudged, but you don’t look totally crazy. You let yourself wake up for a minute more before sliding off the bed to check on your laptop. The screen lights up with the title card of the movie you watched. Phew. You close the device and stuff it back in the drawer of your nightstand.

You change into comfier clothes and wipe away the mess on your face. You carry on with your morning routine as usual, then lounge on the couch as you wait for Beomgyu to wake up.

The first thing you see on your phone is Soobin’s response to your text from last night. You ended up telling him that Beomgyu wasn’t feeling well, and you had to take him home. That’s not a lie, is it? Beomgyu was definitely not going to be okay if you carried on the night without him. You shake the thought and open Soobin’s text.

[Soobin] Don’t worry about it :) I had a feeling something happened

You didn’t doubt that he’d be understanding. He really is a good person.

You pass the day alongside Beomgyu once he wakes up, hanging with him in his room for most of the day. He plays his games while you go on your phone. You make dinner for the two of you, and Beomgyu cleans the dishes.

You watch him scrub at your plates from your spot at the table. You want to ask him about Soobin, but you’re nervous about him reacting poorly. You don’t want to argue again.

Beomgyu couldn’t be that immature about it though, right? If you just ask him for his opinion on Soobin, it’s not like he can really take offense to that. You’re genuinely curious, and you obviously want his approval on the guy you’re talking to. You bite the bullet and just go for it.

“So, what’d you think of Soobin?” you ask. You’re eager to hear his review, albeit a little nervous. He gives a short laugh in distaste, and your brows scrunch in confusion. “Did you not like him?”

He shuts off the sink and dries his hands after cleaning the last dish, then leans his back on the counter and stares at you with an unreadable expression, which is weird because you can normally tell exactly what he’s thinking.

When he finally responds, his face is just as indecipherable. “I don’t think he’s the right guy for you.”

“Why?” You’re genuinely curious. Maybe you’re wearing rose-tinted glasses, and Beomgyu could see something that you couldn’t.

He sighs, “He was just… giving me bad vibes.”

“How come?” you ask.

“Just a feeling,” he explains. You groan. What a non-answer.

“Well, I think he’s super charming.” He scrunches up his face like you said something disgusting. “Stop being like that,” you scold.

“I can’t help it. It’s gross,” he says.

“Yeah okay. I didn’t say it was gross when I was helping you get a new girl every week,” you mention.

“That was years ago!” Beomgyu whines.

“Still happened.”

“That’s not a fair comparison,” he complains. “And it wasn’t every week.”

“So it’s wrong when I find one guy I like and want to be with?” you question. He groans and crosses his arms.

“Why do you even need a boyfriend right now?” he retorts. “What’s wrong with what we have?”

You pause. What the hell is he on about? Having a friend is very different from having a boyfriend. He’s completely serious, too; his face is stone.

“Um, nothing? I don’t know what that has to do with this…” you answer, unsure. He sighs and makes his way over to you, but never gives you a response.

He picks up your hand and helps you out of your chair. Is this seriously where he’s gonna end the conversation? No, you want a real answer. You’re only being left with more and more questions.

“Don’t bring me back to your room, I want to talk about this,” you say.

“There’s no point,” he responds. He might be right, but you still want to know why he’s acting like this. You take your hand back from his grasp.

“Why don’t you like Soobin?” you ask, more demanding now. You harden your stare on him, but he’s not budging. You cross your arms as you wait for an answer. “Well?”

“Why does the reason matter so much?” he asks back.

“Beomgyu, what the fuck are you saying? Why are you being so secretive?” Anger starts filling your words, you can’t help it. It’s not fair for him to shit on Soobin nonstop without telling you why. If something happened that made him form this opinion, then you want to know.

“Calm down,” he says, and it only serves to upset you further. Before you can bark at him, he continues, “I just don’t think you need to be seeing anyone right now.”

“Why?” you demand.

“Cause you have me!” he exclaims like it’s obvious.

“That’s different!”

“It doesn’t have to be,” he says. You tilt your head and look at him incredulously.

“What does that even mean?” you groan.

“What do you want from him? I can give it to you instead,” he pleads. Something’s changing in the air of this conversation, something you’ve been pushing to the back of your mind for your own sanity. Chaewon’s words from yesterday rattle in the cage you mentally locked them in. You push them back, not letting them escape. That’s an impossible and crazy thought.

“Stuff that best friends don’t do with each other,” you answer plainly.

“Why not? We can. Nothing has to change,” he says.

Your head is spinning and you want to sit down. You rub your temples and close your eyes. Everything in your mind is flying by too fast for you to make sense of it. Beomgyu holds one of your shoulders, and you back away instantly.

“I think I’m gonna spend the night at Chaewon’s,” you say, defeated. You feel a serious headache coming on.

“Don’t, please,” he begs. “I’ll talk, I promise.” His eyes are watery now, and it only fuels your stress more. How did you manage to make him cry? What is going on?

“I need to collect my thoughts.” You just want to get out of this now. Beomgyu was right: this conversation was pointless. Now you’re left with more confusion than you know how to deal with.

He quickly gets on his knees in front of you, big eyes pleading to you, hands clasped over his heart. He’s going too far for this right now.

“What is wrong with you?!” you exclaim, half-frightened at the sight of your best friend acting so different in front of you. “What in the world has gotten into you?!”

You try backing away, but he wails immediately and stops you. “No!” he yelps, clinging onto your legs to keep you from moving any further. He leans his tear-soaked face onto your thigh. His skin is warm against yours, and you suddenly regret wearing such tiny shorts. You try moving away again, but your back hits the kitchen counter, and you realize you’re cornered.

“I was here first,” Beomgyu says with conviction, like that justifies his whole argument, like you’ll stop seeing Soobin just because of that.

“Can we talk about this like adults?” you ask. He looks up at you with those watery wide eyes, and you can’t help but feel your heart ache a little. You soothe him with your touch, running a hand through his hair and down his face, collecting his tears. He leans into your touch and wears the most pitiful frown you’ve ever seen.

“Please,” he begs quietly. “You don’t need anyone else, you have me.”

“Gyu, get up,” you say, trying to keep your voice authoritative but gentle.

He doesn’t, of course. “Tell me what to do,” he insists instead.

“I just did.”

He scowls at that and nips at the flesh of your thigh. You jolt in surprise and pull his head back by his hair. He winces in pain for a second, then looks up at you like a puppy.

“Behave,” you warn, and he smiles like he’s getting what he wants.

“I will, I’ll be good, tell me what to do,” he pleads again. He looks delirious off of this. It twists your stomach and makes you release your hold on his hair. He immediately goes back to your thighs, licking a short stripe up it, reaching the hem of your shorts. You gasp as your legs twitch, and he looks up at you with a grin.

“I can’t be doing this,” you say, and Beomgyu rolls his eyes in annoyance. You get another nip to the thigh, harsher this time. “Enough with that,” you tell him, swatting at his head.

“So you get a boyfriend and suddenly I can’t be close to you anymore?” he spits bitterly, angrier now. He stands back up, crowding you with his proximity. You hate how you immediately feel like you have less power. A part of you wants him back on his knees.

“We are still close.”

He scoffs at that. “Yeah right. It’ll be different now and you know it.”

“Well now it’s gonna different, since you put on that whole fucking show!” you argue, swinging an arm out in disbelief.

His brows are drawn together, and he looks at you furiously. “I can’t just sit back and watch another man have you in whatever way he pleases.”

“We’re friends, Beomgyu! That’s it!” you exclaim. You don’t bother correcting his assumption about Soobin ‘having’ you. “No amount of confessions is gonna erase Soobin from my life just like that.”

He clenches his jaw and stares at you silently for a few long seconds. The tension is so palpable and thick, you don’t even dare to breathe. He grabs your wrist and brings you down the hall, into your room. He lays you on your bed with a gentleness that doesn’t match the anger on his face. You know where this is going, you’re not stupid. You should stop this. You need to stop this.

Words get caught in your throat. You should speak, you should yell at him. You should shove him away and put him in his place. This is too far, too much.

You don’t stop him when he crawls onto the bed with you. You don’t stop him when you see the hunger in his eyes as he scans your frame. You wouldn’t stop him no matter what he does right now, your guilty conscience snides.

Your core clenches when Beomgyu brings himself down to hover over you. He remains wordless, just examining your every feature. You’re scared you’ll give away too much and let him in on your desire, but a darker part of your mind hopes that he catches it. Fire builds in your stomach as the moment drags on.

“Tell me what to do,” he whispers. He’s so close that you feel his breath on your face. You stay quiet. He traces up your jaw with the tip of his nose, smiling when your breathing stutters.

He pulls away a bit, just enough to stare at where your hips almost meet. You’d just have to push forward a few inches to close the gap, but you hold back. His hand finds your hip, thumb rubbing you comfortingly.

“Tell me what you need,” he tries again. You bite back a whimper at the deepness of his voice. He laughs at how you still don’t respond. “You this quiet with Soobin too?”

That pisses you off and brings you out of your haze. “No, I give him whatever he wants.” It’s a lie, but you mostly say it to piss him off, and clearly you’ve struck a nerve judging by how he grits his teeth.

“I’m trying to be good for you,” Beomgyu says. He grips onto your waist tight. “I’m showing you I’d do anything for you.”

“Soobin does that just fine,” you say pointedly. Neither of you are amused, and the moment is laced with venom from both sides now.

You gasp when Beomgyu suddenly takes your thighs and pulls them up toward your body, exposing your clothed pussy to him. You try to shut your legs, but Beomgyu’s hold is too strong and doesn’t budge. He smirks when his eyes land on the damp spot over your core.

“Does Soobin make you soak through your shorts like this too?” he taunts. Before you can even think of a smart reply, he’s bending you even further, bringing your knees to the sides of your head. He has you folded firmly in half, and it feels so demeaning, but it makes you so wet. He laughs at the sight of you, slack-jawed and speechless.

You’re fully-clothed but feel so exposed. Your heart is beating erratically. You’re starting to shake from how worked up you are; you ache for him to do something.

“No, he doesn’t, does he?” he continues, and you whine. “You can pretend all you want that he’s the man of your dreams, but you know he’ll never compare to me. Isn’t that right?”

You don’t respond to that. You’re too far gone in your lust to trust yourself to talk; you’ll end up saying something you regret. Beomgyu finally releases his grip on your legs, and you feel all your arousal leaking out of you as soon as your hips fall back on the bed.

“You don’t wanna tell me what to do? That’s fine. I can read you like a book. I know what you want,” Beomgyu says before grabbing your hand and placing it over your cunt. You immediately grind into it, losing yourself in the stimulation. He smiles deliriously at the sight, running his hands soothingly up your sides. “That’s it, now you’ve got it. Now you’re being good.”

One of his hands leaves you, the other helping to keep your legs spread. When you focus your attention back on him, you see him pulling his dick out and stroking himself. He spits in his hand before wrapping it around his length again, and you moan at the sight. He looks delicious.

His eyes are wild as they try to take in every part of you. It’s hard to keep yours open, but you want to watch him as much as you can. Something like this can never happen again, so you need to take it in.

You work your hand faster over yourself when you see him tug at his length with more fervor. His mouth drops open when he moans. He looks so pretty, making a mess out of himself. The sight is addicting, him panting and kneeling over you. You never thought about him like this before, but now thoughts this lewd will plague you.

“Gyu,” you whine, trying to find the perfect rhythm to get yourself off, but you need more. He senses your urgency and gets his hand off his dick in favor of grabbing your wrist. He plunges your hand past your shorts and panties, guiding it to your core. You gasp at how crude the action is. He bites his lip as he takes your two middle fingers and forces them into your fluttering hole. You moan at the intrusion, which was made so easy thanks to how embarrassingly wet you are. The slick sounds of your cunt fill the air, loud and filthy.

Beomgyu wraps his hand around your wrist again to control your movements, pacing the way you fuck yourself. It feels so scandalous and so hot, you find yourself getting worked up quickly. He makes you fuck yourself with vigor, and the way your palm meets your clit with each thrust has your mouth falling open. You stay in the rhythm he set even as he pulls away to fuck his fist again. His grunts and moans are shameless, and they’re like music to your ears.

“Fuck, you’re so dirty, you’re a dream,” he rambles, clearly teetering on the edge. He squeezes the meat of your thigh, then your hips, then palms your ass. “Are you gonna cum, my angel? Are you gonna let me see how pretty you look when you fall apart?”

“Yes, please,” you answer breathlessly, back arching into the feeling. Beomgyu bites down his smirk and runs his hand down the outside of your thigh.

“Wanna see it so bad, fucking dreamed of this.” You can feel the mattress shake from how hard he’s fucking his fist. His grip is bruising on your thigh, and he moans when he feels you jolt in pleasure. “Yeah, keep fucking yourself like that. So perfect.”

You moan out as you finally cum, clenching down on your fingers and throwing your head back as the sensation takes over you. You hear him whine, and it makes you tighten even more around your fingers, dying to hear it again.

“So good, so good for me,” Beomgyu praises in a shaky voice. You can tell his high is approaching. “Look so b-beautiful.”

“Cum for me, Gyu, let go,” you urge, making him moan out again. You slip your fingers out of your cunt but keep your hand over it, fingers ghosting over your clit as you watch Beomgyu lose himself. The slight overstimulation is delicious, and you bite your lip to keep yourself from whimpering at the feeling.

“Have I been good to you?” Beomgyu asks, out of breath as he squeezes the base of his cock. He strokes himself slowly once he regains his composure.

“So good, felt so nice,” you answer, feeling blissful after your orgasm.

“Yeah? Better than Soobin?” he asks, increasing his speed again. You can’t even scold him before his motor mouth starts running again. “Could fuck that little pussy so much better than him. Make you feel so good. Make you forget about him.”

He pushes your shirt up with his free hand, and before you can even react to that, he’s pushing up your bra too. “Oh my god, Beomgyu!” you exclaim, pulling your hand from your pussy to cover your tits. Beomgyu yanks your arm away and brings your fingers to his mouth. You stare at him in shock as he sucks your juices from your digits, diligently swirling his tongue around them. He’s moaning around your fingers, and a second later he’s spilling his load onto your stomach and breasts. Your mouth drops open. He’s got a lot of nerve doing all that; unfortunately for you, it was the hottest thing you have ever seen.

He takes your hand out of his mouth once he’s cleaned your fingers off, whimpering as he rides out the last of his high. He looks down hungrily at your body, taking in the ropes of his cum splayed on your skin. Like the horny freak he is, he sticks his fingers in the mess and smears it all over your torso.

“Gross,” you laugh. He ignores that. He tugs at your nipples with his cum-coated fingers. You yelp at the sensation, and he coos at you. He does it again, and again, until he’s had enough of his fun. He stares into your eyes, and you wish you could crawl away from his heated gaze, it’s that intense. His thumbs return to tease your nipples, but he doesn’t pull his eyes away from your own.

“You’re mine. Never see him again,” Beomgyu declares like it’s final.

“We’re meeting tomorrow,” you respond. He pinches your nipple harshly for that.

“Why? Cancel. Just stay with me,” he offers instead. You try to get up onto your elbows, but Beomgyu pushes you back down against the bed. He continues absentmindedly playing with your tits. He’s practically sitting in your lap to do so.

“…Can you wipe your cum off of me?” you ask, ignoring the conversation at hand.

“But I’m having so much fun.” He pouts. He’s cute like this.

“I let you have enough fun today,” you say with no real bite. He sighs like it will kill him to do so before getting off the bed and leaving for the bathroom. He comes back a minute later with a wet towel, and it’s peacefully quiet as he wipes you down.

“He’s not even really my boyfriend, you know,” you mention, watching his focused face as he rids you of the mess he made.

“Sure,” he laughs bitterly. “Tell him that.”

“We never made anything official,” you say.

“Then why’s he parading around telling everyone how you’re his girl?” Beomgyu asks, giving you a hard stare. You pull your bra and shirt back down once he finishes cleaning you, trying to feel a little more decent. He throws the used towel on the floor and crawls in bed next to you.

You perk up at that. “He is? How do you know?”

He stares straight ahead instead of at you. “You don’t gotta sound so excited.”

“I’m just curious,” you defend.

“Right,” he says, not believing you. “Yesterday at the bar he said it. Multiple times.” Did he? You hold in your gasps and squeals and suppress the urge to kick your feet. Maybe you were too drunk to remember, or maybe Soobin was saying it while you were away from the table. Or maybe Beomgyu’s just psychotic and putting words in Soobin’s mouth.

“Wow,” you say as nonchalantly as you can.

A few silent moments pass where you find yourself filling the time by trying to ignore Beomgyu’s stare on you. He turned to his side at some point and seems to find you to be the most interesting thing in the room. You try to focus on your nails, the walls of your room, your disorganized vanity, but nothing lifts his stare from you. You give in and turn your head to him, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Well?” you prompt.

“What now?” he asks.

“Now… you get out of my room,” you say, holding eye contact and keeping your expression still. His face falters immediately.

“Are you joking?” he asks incredulously, backing away from you with a scoff, propping himself up on his elbows.

“This shouldn’t have happened, Gyu,” you say with a sigh. You know it hurts him—it hurts you, too—but you can’t do this while you’re seeing Soobin. You’ve already crossed the line.

Beomgyu is silent and unmoving. After a minute, it becomes clear he’s not leaving. You don’t know if it’s out of stubbornness or desperation. He lays back down and curls himself into you, tucking his face in your neck and holding you tight.

“Beomgyu,” you warn, but to no avail. He stays there and nuzzles further into you, and you’re so pathetic that you just let him. A stronger woman than you would have put her foot down, but that kind of power doesn’t find you in this moment.

Another long minute passes, consisting of you staring straight at the ceiling, listening to your combined breathing. You think of how Soobin would feel if he found out about this. How are you going to look him in the eye tomorrow? Do you tell him about this? Is it wrong to keep it a secret?

You try to pull away from Beomgyu, but he doesn’t let you move. “Please, Beom—“

“Stop,” he murmurs, putting his hand over your mouth just long enough to get you to stop talking. “Let me have this one night. He gets you every other time.”

You can’t help but feel a little aggravated at that. “Because he’s the one I’m seeing! This is wrong!”

“What’s wrong is you looking for other men when I’m right here,” he says with finality. When you don’t respond, he continues, “So let’s just go to sleep.”

You decide to let him win this time, telling yourself that this will never happen again. Sleep doesn’t find you easily with the guilt eating you alive, but it does feel kind of nice to have Beomgyu hugging you like this again.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

When you wake up, Beomgyu’s already gone. You let out a sigh of relief. You feel bad for not wanting to see him, but you know that last night changed things. There’s a conversation that needs to be had that you’re not sure you’re ready for.

You sit up and stretch, then check the time and notice that it’s already nearly 10. Your eyes go wide, horrified—you’re supposed to see Soobin at 10! You have less than twenty minutes to get ready!

You leap out of bed and run to your closet, looking for a cute dress to throw on cause you have no time to curate an outfit. Once you have the dress selected, you hold it in front of you in the mirror. The fabric is super soft and looks casual enough while still being pretty. The light color of it looks great on you, too.

You don’t have enough time to linger on your options, so you go with it. You fold the dress and run to the bathroom to finish freshening up and getting ready. You need to take the quickest shower of your life.

You’re rushing out the door once everything’s complete, cursing at yourself as you check the time. It’s already ten minutes past. You shoot him a text as you scramble down your apartment’s stairs.

Hey! I’m gonna be a bit late, leaving now

Forgot to set an alarm, my bad

Wait for meeee

You shove your phone in your jacket pocket and speed walk down the street. You’re lucky enough to live near the heart of the city, so everything is at walking distance. You’re halfway to the cafe when you feel your phone buzz with a response.

[Soobin] No worries. I’m waiting :)

[Soobin] Gives your coffee some time to cool down

You smile at the response. Of course he already bought your coffee. Of course he memorized your order. It’s Soobin, he’s the most thoughtful guy you’ve ever known. Your phone buzzes with another text notification. This time it’s Beomgyu.

[Beomgyu] omg where’d you go i got stuff for breakfast!!!

Your heart squeezes at the prospect. You rush to type out your responses.

I said I was meeting Soobin today

I’m sorry

Brunch?

You slow down your walking, finding yourself nearing the destination too quickly. You just want to get Beomgyu’s response before seeing Soobin. Your phone buzzes when he replies.

[Beomgyu] hmm.. ok brunch

You don’t find yourself excited, though. You guys do things like this all the time, but now you’re just nervous. It makes your stomach churn with anxiety. You know things have changed. Even if he acts like nothing happened, you both know something did.

You shove your phone into your pocket when you arrive at the cute little cat cafe. You wipe the sweat off your palms before opening the door. You try collecting yourself before looking for Soobin, who’s sitting at a small table near the front of the shop. You smile when you see him, but it’s only half-genuine; the other half of your mind is busy trying to push down your worries about Beomgyu.

You seat yourself across from Soobin, who smiles widely and fully-genuinely at you. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” you apologize. “Thank you for the coffee.”

His smile stays on his face as he watches you grab the cup and feel for its temperature. “It should be good to drink now,” he says. “I had company, the cats were coming to me.”

You laugh before taking a sip of your coffee. It’s the best thing in the world, you’re grateful he got it in advance for you. The hot drink eases your mind a bit. You look around the cafe until you spot a cat. It’s a fluffy black and white one, perusing around lazily.

“That one is so mean, don’t pet it,” Soobin says, following your gaze. He brings your attention to a different cat with a pointed finger. “The orange one sunbathing there is the best.”

“Oh yeah? You’re an orange cat fan?” you ask.

“I think you’d like that one,” he says. As if the cat could hear that, it gets up and starts walking toward you.

“Look at you, cat whisperer,” you joke. The way his face scrunches when he laughs makes your heart flutter. The orange cat brushes up against your legs when it finds you, and you immediately coo at it. “Hello, sweetie! Can I pet you?” you say, bringing down your hand for it to accept. The cat rubs its head against you, and you pet it lovingly.

“So you’re more of a cat person?” he asks. You look up from the cat to pay attention to him.

“I like all animals,” you say.

“What’s your favorite?”

You think for a second. “Should I say bunnies because you look like one?” you giggle.

“That’s a good answer,” he laughs with you.

“What would have been a bad answer?”

He looks up in thought and leans his face on his palm. “Maybe a mole or something?”

“Hey, I like moles,” you say.

“You like all animals.”

“What a good listener.”

“It’d be a little sad if I forgot something you said just a minute ago,” he responds.

“Men are like that,” you joke. You feel your phone buzzing with a call notification. “Sorry, let me check this.”

Why the hell is Beomgyu calling you?! You told him you were with—you roll your eyes. That’s why he’s calling you. He’s so petty and childish. You shove your phone back in your pocket.

“No one important?” Soobin asks.

“It’s Beomgyu,” you answer.

“Ah, you should answer then,” he reasons.

“I’m sure it can wait,” you dismiss.

“I need to go to the bathroom anyway, you can call while I go.” He smiles as he gets up.

You don’t really want to, but as you watch him walk away, you’re stuck sitting alone with nothing better to do. With a sigh, you unlock your phone and open your messages with Beomgyu.

What’s up

His response is immediate.

[Beomgyu] when are u coming back

You hold your head and groan at his antics. It’s been ten minutes and he’s acting like you’ve been gone ten days.

Whenever we’re done

Maybe an hour

He calls you again. Reluctantly, you answer. “What?”

“I just wanted to talk,” he says.

“No, you just want my attention. It’s one hour, I think you’ll live.”

“I think I won’t,” he counters. So annoying. You find yourself laughing for some reason, though. You see Soobin coming back, and you quickly fix your posture and tuck your hair back. That was fast.

“I gotta go,” you say abruptly. Beomgyu doesn’t get a word in before you hang up. He texts you his final words instead.

[Beomgyu] UR SO MEAN

Soobin sits back down in front of you. “What’d he say?”

“A whole lot of nothing,” you answer.

Soobin laughs. “Is that usual for him?”

“Always,” you groan.

After a moment, Soobin finds a new topic. “So what kept you up so late that you slept in so much?”

You freeze at the question. You have all of one second to decide if you’re going to spill the truth, or if you’re about to lie to his face. It would be the right thing to do to be honest with him…

“Beomgyu and I were hanging out,” you decide on saying. It’s technically true, but it feels like a cover-up rolling off your tongue.

You try to reason with yourself. You didn’t have sex. You got yourself off, with your own hand, and you didn’t touch him at all. The most he did was a little titty touching… so what? That’s so high school. It doesn’t even count.

You wonder if it would fool Soobin, cause it’s not fooling you.

“Oh, must’ve been fun then,” Soobin says. “Hopefully you can catch up on some sleep tonight.”

He’s so kind. You feel so gross. You don’t deserve him. Your smile doesn’t meet your eyes.

“You got any other plans for the day?” Soobin asks.

“I’m doing brunch with Beomgyu after this,” you answer.

“Wow, you spend a lot of time with him,” he comments. You don’t know why you feel a little offended at that.

“Yeah, we’ve been best friends since our senior year of high school. We moved to the city together, so we’re roommates.”

“Must be nice. I came here alone, so it was a little hard at first,” Soobin says.

“How so?” You’re honestly glad to shift the questions towards him for a bit. You like learning about him, and you hate how you always seem to end up talking about Beomgyu.

“I’m really shy, so making friends took a long time,” Soobin answers. “I’ve been here a few years now, though, so I made a decent community.”

“That’s nice. What’d you think of my friends on Friday?” you ask. “I heard you get chatty when you drink.”

He laughs and scratches his neck shyly. “Your friends were nice. I don’t think Beomgyu was very interested in talking to me though.”

You conceal your groan. Why does it keep coming back to Beomgyu?! You wish last night never happened so you could feel normal about this conversation. Even then, though, it wouldn’t erase how Beomgyu acted before that.

“Yeah, I don’t know, I’m sorry. Must’ve caught him on a bad day,” you excuse.

“Maybe. He seemed fine talking to you, though…” he mumbles, and you can tell that it’s bothering him. Now you really feel like shit. Any attempt you make to comfort him would be a lie after what you let happen between you two.

You grab Soobin’s hand, making his head pop up from where he was looking down all sullenly. “Thank you for coming that night. It means a lot that you met my friends,” you say. That puts a smile back on his face.

“Guess I gotta introduce you to mine now,” he says.

“I’d love that!”

“I’ll plan a day. How busy are you this month?” he asks.

“Not super,” you answer. You go on to ask about his friends, listening to him as diligently as you can while ignoring your phone buzzing in your pocket with text after text. You can guess who they’re from.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The moment you get back home, you find Beomgyu already near the door waiting. He lights up, but you’re not amused.

“That texting and calling shit needs to stop,” you say, looking him dead in the eye.

He pouts and points at the table. “I made us food. It was gonna get cold.” You look at the table. He set up the dishes all cute, with plates of meats and pancakes in the middle alongside a bowl of berries. You sigh.

“We could’ve made it together when I came back,” you mention, but the fight leaves your voice. You wish you weren’t so endeared by him. You’re so weak, it makes you curse at yourself in your head. You sit at the table and pile some food onto your plate. He sits across from you and does the same.

You’re not sure what to talk about. You feel your skin heating up as you remember what happened the last time you were with Beomgyu. He must be thinking about it too. Maybe arguing about Soobin would be better than dealing with the awkwardness you feel right now.

You take a quick glance at him. He’s smiling and swaying around as he chomps down on his food. If he notices your discomfort, you’re glad he doesn’t say anything. You try to focus on your food instead of him as much as you can.

Usually Beomgyu is the only person you feel like you can do anything around, but right now you’re second guessing every little thing you do. Did you stare at him too long? Should you not check your phone right now? Where should you be looking? Does he know you’re overthinking this right now?

“I hope this is better than whatever you just did with Soobin,” he says, breaking the silence. You stop eating for a second to give him a disapproving glare. That’s one way to cut through your thoughts.

“You need to stop being so jealous,” you say. His neediness is being turned up to 100, and you don’t know how to deal with it. Whatever he thinks he’s doing is only going to drive you away from him.

“Well, I have to fight for your attention now,” he explains. You roll your eyes.

“No you don’t, I still spend most of my time with you.” It’s ridiculous that he thinks you’d just drop him like that. You literally live with him, you can’t avoid him. His insecurities are getting the best of him, and it’s changing your relationship with him.

“But soon you’ll spend it all with him, and I’ll have no one,” he says like he can see it all already. Gosh, seriously? His brows are upturned and the slightest frown mars his face. Why must he try to break your heart?

“Where’d you get that idea? I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always be the most important person in my life,” you reassure him. He looks down like he can’t stand to make eye contact anymore. His shoulders slump.

“I just have to make sure you don’t forget me,” he mutters. He keeps his eyes down. You sigh.

“I won't forget you. Can’t you just trust me? I’m telling you you’ll always be my number one. What more do you want to hear?” you ask.

He meets your eyes again. They still look sad. His lack of response puzzles you; he always has so much to say. You stay staring at each other for what feels like an eternity, until you pull your gaze away, unable to handle it.

You know you’re not in the wrong here. It’s not abandonment to just see another guy. He looked so pitiful, though. It would’ve hurt less to see him get angry and yell at you. He can’t really help how he feels, and you suppose it is a big change. What does he want you to do, though? Well, stop seeing Soobin. But you’re not going to do that.

You go to your room without another word, needing to leave his presence. It murks your mind and leaves you unable to think clearly. You text Chaewon to come over when she’s free. You just need to get your mind off of whatever’s developing between you and Beomgyu.

When her knock sounds at your door hours later, you run to open it, excited to finally talk to someone who won’t give you a headache. She holds up a grocery bag full of your favorite snacks, smiling ear to ear. You make a mental note to splurge for her next birthday; she always treats you so well.

You usher her to the couch and offer her a drink. She turns on the television and finds something to play in the background. Once you’re both situated, you open one of the snack bags and throw a blanket over the two of you.

“What did you do this weekend?” you ask her.

She doesn’t look away from the television when she answers, “Julie and I went to a spa.”

“Oh my god, and you didn’t invite me?!” you say in faux offense, although you definitely would have liked to go.

She laughs and points at the bag of food in your lap. “I made up for it with those.”

“You still owe me a day out,” you joke.

“I know, I’m thinking we’ll go to an amusement park in the spring. You down?” she asks.

“Oh, for sure,” you confirm. You go quiet for a bit, captured by the show Chaewon put on. The two of you make your own commentary on the characters and their decisions. You share looks when something crazy happens, and burst out laughing when Chaewon’s prediction about one of the plot lines comes true.

This is the stress relief you needed. You already feel lighter and happier. Good thing you asked Chaewon to come over. During a commercial break, Chaewon turns to you.

“Okay, I have to ask, how are things with Soobin?” Chaewon asks. The question doesn’t irk you, partially because it’s not Beomgyu asking it, but mostly because Chaewon put you in a better mood.

“It’s going good with him,” you say. You look down the hall to make sure Beomgyu’s door is shut. Talking to Chaewon about this might actually clear things up for you. She always has good advice.

“Tell me more,” she prompts, leaning in with a grin.

“Well, we went to a cafe today”—Chaewon cuts you off with a delighted ooooo—“and it went really well. He wants me to meet his friends next.”

Chaewon gasps. “You’re halfway into boyfriend territory now!”

Ugh. “About that…” you start.

“Uh oh,” Chaewon lets out.

“I really, really like Soobin, it’s just”—you shut up immediately once you hear Beomgyu’s door open. There’s no way he heard you, not unless he was intentionally listening in, and if he did, is he ballsy enough to come out and argue with you now? With Chaewon right here? You hold your breath.

He walks into the kitchen, and you let yourself breathe again. You watch him carefully. He opens the fridge. It’s a little early for dinner, so he’s probably just looking for a drink or a snack.

“Hey! Talk to me about that sexy tall man!” Chaewon says, bringing your attention back to her. You laugh nervously.

“Let’s talk about you, actually,” you say in attempt to shift the conversation. “How was your spa day with Julie?”

“We had fun, but it was nothing more important than Soobin updates!” she assures. She’s talking so loud, you flinch thinking about Beomgyu listening in.

“I don’t think we should talk about him right now,” you say, eyeing Beomgyu’s figure in the kitchen. You release your breath when you notice he’s still distracted in his search through the fridge.

“Girl… what,” Chaewon deadpans, following your gaze. She looks back at you, brows scrunched. You share a glance, and she puts two and two together. “You’re kidding me.”

“Please,” you whisper.

“He is so ridiculous,” Chaewon complains, shaking her head in disapproval.

“I know, but I can’t talk about it right now. Later, please,” you continue in a hushed voice. Beomgyu settles on an energy drink, closing the fridge and advancing toward the two of you. You pray Chaewon drops it.

“Hey Chaewon. Whatcha guys up to?” he asks as he lingers by where you sit on the couch. You look to Chaewon with pleading eyes. Hers are unamused and disappointed.

“Just talking,” she answers, her voice lacking any emotion. Beomgyu nods.

“Cool. What’s on TV?” he asks.

“Some crime show Chaewon likes,” you respond. It’s quiet for a minute, and you’re trying not to feel antsy. Beomgyu definitely didn’t hear your conversation about Soobin, but you can’t shake the reaction Chaewon had. You were just about to tell her how Beomgyu’s been acting, but now the conversation will have to wait.

When Beomgyu takes a seat next to you, you know that you won’t be able to talk to Chaewon about Soobin until the next time you see her. He puts his arm on the couch behind you and gets himself comfortable. It’s not like you’re going to ask him to leave, so you just lean into his side. You might as well make use of his warmth.

The three of you watch a couple more episodes of Chaewon’s show, and after some time your anxiety leaves you. It feels like a normal hang out, not like you’re in between your best friend you just got intimate with and your other best friend who has no clue.

“Are you having dinner here?” you ask Chaewon. She shakes her head.

“I think I’m gonna head out now, actually. I’ve got a few things to do,” she says. She gets off the couch. “But you need to come over tomorrow, ‘kay?” She points at you. You already know it’s because she wants to finish the conversation you started before Beomgyu came in. It must’ve been pestering her mind.

“I will,” you say. You get up from the couch to hug her. “Thanks for coming over.” You walk with her to your door.

“Love you, see you tomorrow!” she exclaims, waving.

“Love you too!!” You wave back.

Once Chaewon’s out the door, you return to Beomgyu on the couch. You lean your head on the armrest and fold your legs so they’re not resting on Beomgyu.

“I don’t wanna go to work tomorrow,” you complain. He laughs.

“When do you ever?” he asks.

“Fridays, cause there’s donuts,” you answer. He tugs on your legs to pull you closer to him. Your shirt rolls up a bit as he drags you down the couch, but he fixes it for you.

“Call out sick or something,” he suggests.

You groan, “I only get, like, seven sick days.”

“You should skip and we should go to the shopping center.” You hit his chest with your knee at his offer. He smiles down at you.

“The difference in maturity levels between us is crazy,” you say.

“I keep you young,” he jokes.

“Bitch, we’re the same age.” You hit his chest again.

Your phone buzzes on the table in front of you, but before you can sit up to check the notification, Beomgyu flips the device so it’s facing down.

“Who texted me?” you ask.

“No one,” he answers. “What do you want for dinner?”

You hum in thought. “I’m not really hungry honestly. I filled up on Chaewon’s snacks.”

“Same.” It falls silent, so you grab your phone and finally check your notifications.

“You liar, you said no one texted me,” you say, reading your text notification from Soobin.

He wears a mischievous smile. “Oops. Must’ve read it wrong.”

“Yeah right,” you say. You open your phone, going to respond to Soobin until Beomgyu takes your phone from your hands. “Hey!”

He shuts off your phone and puts it in the pocket of his sweatpants. “Talk to me instead of going on your phone.” You scowl at him, who looks back at you with a teasing grin. Asshole.

“Give me back my phone,” you order, hand reaching out for him to place it in. Instead, he takes you by the hand and drags you into his lap, laughing when you yelp.

“Why don’t you take it?” he offers, looking down at his pelvis.

“I’m not digging in your pants to get my phone back,” you say.

“Will you dig in my pants for other reasons?” He wiggles his eyebrows. You bite down your smile and smack his arm.

“You wish, freak.”

He snickers, running his hands up your arms. “I do wish.”

You’re acutely aware of the tension starting to build in the room, and you can’t deny how you’re getting excited in the heat of the moment. This is innocent enough, right? You’re just being playful with each other. Just because you’re starting to feel a little worked up doesn’t mean you’ll act on it.

You move your hand slowly down his chest, traveling down his torso, making your way down to the pocket of his sweatpants. He stares at you with big dumb eyes, and you hold back your laughter. You pry open his pocket, sliding your hand in and retrieving your phone, letting the weight of it drag across his thigh as you pull it out from the fabric.

“Got it,” you whisper, a winning smile on your face. You throw your phone behind you on the couch. You don’t know why you don’t move from your position, though. Maybe it’s the satisfaction you feel at watching his mouth fall just the tiniest bit open at your actions.

His hands grab your waist, thumbs lifting up your shirt just the tiniest bit, revealing a sliver of your stomach. He brings you forward on his lap, moving you even closer to him, and your eyes widen when you feel his half-hard length beneath you.

“Gyu?” you say, searching his eyes. He looks drunk off this moment, and he doesn’t bother to hide his lust. It’s evident all over his face, from his lidded eyes to his bitten lip. “Maybe we should”—

“Do you wanna ride me like this?” he interrupts, hands moving to your hips so he can guide them into a slow grind. You gasp at the sensation, not realizing how aroused you’d gotten. You feel him hardening below you the more you sway your hips over him. You feel dizzy.

You drop your head in his neck and let out a shaky exhale, letting him control your movements. God, this is so wrong. You’re doing this again? You’re really bad at keeping your own promises. But fuck, when your clit catches on the head of his cock, even through all the clothes, it feels like heaven. You can’t even think about how you should stop.

He slides your hair to one side of your neck and kisses the side he bared. “Good girl,” he praises, keeping your hips in a slow rhythm that has your brain malfunctioning. You whine, and your thighs twitch and tighten around him.

Beomgyu’s rock hard now, and you wish he didn’t feel so sinfully good. He presses his hips further up against you, and the added pressure makes you moan out before you can hold it back. He laughs and scatters wet kisses onto your neck.

“Look at you,” he says, voice so low it makes you shiver. “Pretty little thing getting herself off on my lap, creaming her pants for me. Cute girl.” He hastens your rhythm for you and holds you down tighter against him. You gasp and cling onto his shirt.

“Gyu, Gyu, please,” you stammer, feeling your high approaching.

“I know, sweet girl.” He matches your rhythm with his own hips now, making your toes curl.

“I’m gonna cum,” you breathe out, moving yourself even faster over him, losing yourself as you chase your orgasm.

“Yes, fuck, cum for me, I need to see it,” he insists, watching you spasm and shake over him. He moans out at the sight, and the sound is what brings you over the edge. You feel his dick twitch as you ride out your high, and you realize he came in his pants too. The thought makes your head spin.

You slow down as you begin to come down, holding his face in your hands. You wear a dopey smile, and he looks just as fucked out. You’d like to ruin him one day, to see him beg for pleasure and get more than what he can take. He has a pretty face for things like that.

Your hips still over him completely, and Beomgyu connects his mouth to your jaw. He sucks on your skin there, and you push his head away. “No marks,” you tell him. He nods quickly and goes back to licking and kissing and sucking your skin.

He trails his kisses down to your neck, lapping at every inch of skin he has access to. He’s messy with his tongue, coating you in his saliva. It’s so filthy, but it has your core pulsing again. You don’t know why he has this effect on you.

You jolt when you feel his teeth on your neck, biting down and sucking hard. It makes your hips push forward, and he moans against you. You’re not too far gone to let him get away with that, at least.

“Are you serious?” you scold, pulling Beomgyu away by his hair. He kisses your cheek, just barely missing your lips. You gasp, flustered.

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly, breathlessly. He lays you down on the couch and lifts up your shirt and bra. He decides to connect his mouth to what he reveals there instead. He swirls his tongue around your nipple and sucks, squeezing and fondling your other tit with a hungry hand. You whine out when he just barely scrapes his teeth against the bud, fueling the heat in your core. He switches sides so that he can suck your other breast, delivering wet kisses to it.

His free hand travels up your thigh and stops just inches from your cunt. He swipes his thumb lazily over your inner thigh, so close you can feel it ghost your center. It’s getting you desperate for relief. You close your thighs around his hand, and it brings him right to your core. He moans against your chest at the collision. You wonder if he can feel your wetness through your thin pajama pants.

He rubs his hand against your cunt, moving slow enough to keep you wanting more. He detaches his mouth from you and stares at how your hips gyrate against him. He bites his lip and presses his fingertips harder against you, teasing your entrance through your clothes.

“Oh my god,” you moan, throwing your head back.

“Fuck, let me finger you,” he insists, bringing a thumb to your clit. Your head is spinning from the pleasure. “I need to, I’ve got to feel you.” You feel his bulge on your thigh, heavy and hard. You cry out. You feel your moral ground starting to slip.

“Take off my pants,” you instruct. “Just those.”

He rushes to follow through. Your pants are on the floor in an instant, and his hand is right back on you. He drops his head into your neck when he feels you this time.

“You’re drenched,” he moans. He runs his index finger through your folds over the cloth, so soaked through that he can feel the outline of your pussy perfectly. He pushes his index finger just barely into your hole, watching your panties scrunch up into it.

“Gyu!” you yelp.

“Let me, let me, let me,” he pleads, jamming his finger just a touch further. Your hands wrap around his arm, needing purchase on something. “You want to cum so bad, right? You want to feel good?”

“What do you want?” you ask back.

“To make you take whatever I give,” he answers. Your entrance flutters over his finger at that. “So let me take these off,” he says, pulling his hand away to snap your waistband.

You feel your sanity leave you. You need that pressure back in your cunt. His eyes are dark and blown out. He pulls your panties down just barely, letting them sit below your hip bones, your center still covered. He’s agonizingly slow as he pulls further and further, not daring to reveal your cunt until you say so.

“You’re driving me crazy,” Beomgyu whispers.

He’s the one driving you crazy. Your mind is completely fogged over. You’ve been turned into some kind of lust-drunk whore, seeing as you can’t focus on anything but him if you tried.

“Take them off,” you finally give in. You pulse and ache where you need him most. Beomgyu wastes no time when he pulls your panties off and away, and the first thing he does is hold your legs wide open and stare at your pussy.

“So perfect and slutty for me,” he says in his deep voice. “Gonna make this little pussy all mine.”

You whine at his words, thighs twitching and trying to close. You need him to do something, you need him to fill you. Your hole clenches over nothing, the emptiness starting to kill you. Beomgyu bites his lip and watches as your arousal leaks from you.

“You’re so cute, maybe I should just keep you like this,” he muses, laughing when you cry out and shake your head. “No? But I love watching this sweet cunt leak for me. You’re dripping like a whore.”

You arch your back, push your hips out, do anything you can, but he still doesn’t relieve you. You try to bring your own hand down to your pussy, but Beomgyu grabs it and pushes it back against the couch by your head.

“Please touch me!” you plead, desperate beyond belief. You might even start crying.

“Aww, my baby needs me,” he coos, soothing his hands up your thighs. “My pretty girl needs me, only me.” Finally, his fingers find your clit. You melt into the feeling, sighing in relief. Your hips twitch closer to his hand, making sure he won’t leave.

“Thank you,” you moan. Beomgyu holds your face with his free hand, staring into your teary eyes.

“Don’t cry, I’ll give you what you need,” he says, voice soft. He dips a finger into your cunt, stopping once he’s knuckle-deep. He fucks his finger into you slowly, and you sigh at the relief. He watches his finger sink into you, humming in pleasure when he sees how it collects your wetness.

His actions pull soft moans from your mouth, but you can’t bring yourself to conceal them. It’s not like you need to be embarrassed anyway, seeing how much Beomgyu loves your reactions. You get sick of his slow pace after a while, trying to ride his finger faster.

“More?” he asks. He inserts a second finger into you. The stretch feels like heaven, you crave to be stuffed by him.

“Yes! I need it,” you exclaim. He picks up the pace a little. “Thank you, thank you..!” He laughs a little and leans down to kiss your forehead.

“You’re so nice to me right now,” he notes with a smile, fucking you faster on his fingers in appreciation. “This is how you should always be.” You pay no mind to the wet squelches your pussy makes as he pistons into you. Your stomach muscles clench as you feel yourself getting closer.

He starts curling his fingers inside of you, and it doesn’t take him long to find what he’s looking for. You arch your back and yelp at the sensation of him pressing against the spongy part inside of you. He grins and keeps thrusting against that spot, watching your reactions with amused eyes. His head moves down between your thighs, biting and sucking at all the flesh his mouth can find, then wraps his lips around your clit once he grows tired of marking you.

“Ah! Gyu! That’s—mmh,” you sputter, rolling your hips up into the feeling. It’s so much. He pushes his fingers into you harder, deeper, with more purpose. He toys with your clit using his tongue, swiping and flicking it while he sucks. You’re right there and he knows it, doubling his efforts.

The pleasure takes you under, and you cum with a cry. Your hands find purchase in his hair, tugging at the strands. It makes him moan, and the vibrations fuel your orgasm. He’s hungry for it, fingers coaxing as much of your cum as he can get out of you. He doesn’t give up his pace even as you start to come down, fog clearing from your mind.

“That’s enough,” you say, trying to push his head away. His mouth leaves you for all of one second before he latches himself back on. “Beomgyu, I already—fuck!” He sucks harder now and hooks his fingers harshly into you to rub right against a spot that has you seeing stars. He only pulls his fingers out long enough to push a third one in, pressing right back where he was.

You gasp, pulling his hair again, needing something to keep you in reality cause you feel like you’re about to slip. You shake and twitch with overstimulation, but Beomgyu doesn’t care. It’s like he hasn’t gotten his fill yet. He’s careless with how he breaks you, paying no mind to your body’s limits.

Your orgasm builds up and hits you quickly thanks to Beomgyu’s determination. Your thighs clamp around his face, but that doesn’t stop him. You whine and mewl as Beomgyu feasts on your arousal. Your poor pussy clenches hard around his three fingers, so much he can’t even thrust them anymore, so he curls his fingers rapidly inside you instead. Your cum pools out of you and onto his hand, your juices dripping out of you uncontrollably.

He pulls away, panting, staring at your pussy. He licks a stripe up it, then goes back down to circle his tongue around your entrance. You whimper and push his head away. He meets your eyes, and his dark gaze softens when he sees your teary ones.

“Can’t you just take a little more?” he asks. His eyes don’t leave yours as he nibbles and sucks on your thigh. You shake your head and push his face away again. With a pout, he rises back up so his face is hovering over yours. You don’t know why fondness overcomes you when you’re staring at him, but the feeling isn’t entirely unwelcome.

“You’re so good,” you say, cupping his face and giggling. He leans his face into your neck, and you can feel his shy smile form against your skin. He comes back up with stars in his eyes.

You want to kiss him, and the thought scares you because you’ve never wanted that before. The feeling is so overpowering that you have to look away. You try to find interest in the wall, but Beomgyu’s movement makes you turn your head back to him. He leans back to admire you.

He smirks at the sight of your thighs, prompting you to look down at them too. Your eyes widen in horror at all the marks he sucked onto them. He pats your leg with a happy grin on his face. “No more short skirts around him,” he says. What a little shit.

“Beomgyu!” you scold. Dignity finds you and forces you to sit up and reach for your clothes on the floor. Before you can grab anything, Beomgyu’s placing you in his lap and holding your face much too close to his. His hips jut up into yours, and you gasp upon feeling his erection. Of course he’s hard again.

“I still need you,” he whines. “Please, don’t go yet.” You pull your face away from him, so he takes your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. His puppy eyes are so sweet and pitiful, you have no choice but to stay. One sad look from him is all it takes for him to get whatever he wants from you. You’re weak.

“I-I’m still sensitive,” you say as he grinds into you. He grips your hips hard, keeping you in place so you have no choice but to take it. You can already see your juices on his sweatpants, leaving a damp mark right over his cock.

“Yeah?” he asks, half-breathless. It’s like he’s not even listening to you, too focused on humping you like a bitch in heat.

“Yes, slow down.” He drops his head on your shoulder and pants heavily, not slowing down at all. You’re buzzing in overstimulation, legs twitching uncontrollably. His hands are shameless as they try to grab at every part of you. He squeezes your hips, your waist, your tits. His tongue is warm on your skin as it trails up to your ear, where he bites down and sucks.

He pushes himself further against you, giving you no space and no chance to leave. He wraps his arms around you and pistons his hips like he’s actually fucking you.

You gasp, “G-Gyu! Stop being bad!” You tug his hair, forcing his head back. His mouth drops open, and he stares at you through lidded eyes. Lust has possessed him, and your words only fuel him.

“Then punish me,” he says. You pull his hair harder, forcing his head back as far as you can, and suck on his neck. He moans louder than you’ve ever heard from him before, and his hips stutter in their rhythm. His hands keep you pressed against him as close as you can get. You moan when you feel his dick twitch through his clothes. For a second, you wonder how it would feel inside of you, but you shove that thought to the back of your mind.

You detach yourself from his throat and watch his face twist up from the pleasure. You look down to see the cum stains on his pants, giggling at the sight. Your hips jerk, and he gasps at the sensation.

Your eyes land on the mark you sucked into his neck. It’s darker than the ones he plastered all over your thighs. You want to feel ashamed or appalled for leaving that on him, but all you feel is some sort of satisfaction. You let your body fall limp against him, sinking into his hold and laying your head on his chest. His hands run to soothe you, brushing through your hair and rubbing your back.

You avoid asking questions. You avoid talking at all. You don’t want to know what this is or what it means, you just want to bask in the afterglow of whatever this is. The unpacking part of this will be a problem for future you.

Even if you hate yourself for this tomorrow, you can’t think of anything better than Beomgyu’s embrace on you now. You’ve already crossed so many lines with him, adding a few more won’t hurt. You find yourself wondering what things you’d like to do with Beomgyu next.

You lean back to stare at his face. His smile is blissful and lazy. You can’t pull your eyes from his lips. Even in the middle of winter, they still look so soft. You wonder what it would feel like to run your tongue over them, or how they would feel wrapped around your fingers. Would they be carnal and unforgiving against your own, or would his lips find yours in a sweet, gentle kiss?

You feel his hand on the back of your head. He’s pulling you closer, and you panic. You tilt your head so that your lips find his jaw instead of his mouth. You pull away after planting a little kiss there. Your gaze flits down his face for just a few seconds before you lean in to place another kiss on his jaw, a little higher than the last, lingering a little longer.

“A real one now,” he requests, eyes pleading and hands resting on your neck. You peck his nose, then his cheek, then his other cheek. He holds your face still and whispers your name. You share the most intense stare you’ve felt in your life.

You close the gap and let your lips touch for just one second. It’s soft and simple, and it’s enough to satisfy your curiosity, but Beomgyu has to come back for more. His lips feel so nice, they were made to be kissed. His fingers dig into your hair, desperate, clinging to you as if you’ll slip away from him. His kiss is hungry, like he wants to consume you, like he’s trying to find a way to your soul through your mouth.

You use both your hands on his chest to push him away, and when you succeed, you stare at him with wide eyes. You’re trying to get your breathing back under control. His face is flushed.

“Please, you can’t go back to Soobin after that,” he begs. The fragile glass holding this moment together breaks, and your sense crashes back over you immediately. Shit, you forgot about Soobin. How could you have forgotten about Soobin?!

You pull yourself out of his lap and stare at your best friend with horrified, blown-out eyes. What the fuck? What did you just do? You have to tell Soobin, you have no choice now. Next time you see him, you’re going to spill everything that’s happened with you and Beomgyu. This isn’t right. This isn’t fair to him.

“Gyu… I’m so, so sorry,” you apologize getting off the couch slowly, putting on your clothes. How do you save this? How do you stop yourself from breaking both Soobin’s trust and Beomgyu’s heart? There has to be a way to salvage this. There has to be a way to make this okay.

“Why?” He shoots up, holding your arms so you stay. “Why would you be sorry?” He shakes his head like he’s not understanding, but his eyes tell you that he knows. He knows you’re going to try to stop this again. What will he do to prevent you this time?

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” you whisper. You can’t even look him in the eye.

His disappointment only shows for a second before it’s overcome by need. A need to stop you from leaving, a need to show you that he’s yours, a need to prove himself to you—you know it all already, it’s happened so many times before. You can’t give in. Not again. Not after you let him get this far. If you allow this, what else will you let him do?

His hands are shaking as they cup your face. When you meet his eyes, you see tears already falling from them. You hate it. You hate it so much, how you’re always the cause of them. You’re always finding new spots to put your knife, slower ways to kill him. You know it by now; you know he’ll be hurt, but you do it time and time again, and you never learn your lesson.

This time it will change. This time you have to mean it.

“Stop making this so hard…” you say, hushed, as you wipe his tears from his face.

“I can’t leave you alone,” he insists. “You don’t get it. It’ll kill me.” He turns his face to kiss your palm. You try to pull your hand away, but he catches your arm and brings your wrist to his mouth, kissing you gently over your pulse point.

Why does your heart race? Why does your breath catch? He keeps finding new ways to fluster and confuse you, and all this just to make sure you don’t leave him for Soobin. You don’t know what’s more pathetic: the fact that he keeps doing this, or the fact that it keeps working.

You smooth your hand down his neck and rest it on his shoulder. “Just go to sleep,” you tell him softly.

“Come with me. Don’t make me go to bed alone after this.” He looks so cute and hopeful, you almost give in. You tighten your lips and place a parting pat on his chest.

“Good night,” you say before walking to your bedroom. He must know better than to follow, because he doesn’t. You try to ignore how your bed suddenly feels so big and empty.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

“Tell me everything, girl,” Chaewon says as soon as you settle onto her bed with her. You rushed over to her place after work, needing to debrief her on whatever has been going on between you and Beomgyu.

“First promise me that you won’t hate me,” you start.

“Oh, this is how I know it’s gonna be good,” she chuckles.

“Promise me!” you repeat, clutching onto her legs and locking eyes with her.

“I promise!” You lean back and let out a dramatic sigh, preparing yourself for your recap of all the events. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.

“So, remember the day we went to the bar, how you said you think Beomgyu might like me?” you ask. She nods. “I think you might’ve been right. Things have been getting weird.”

“I literally fucking knew it, I knew he must’ve been on some shit,” she says, looking excited to hear more. “Continue.”

“Well…” you trail off, feeling your stomach knot up in fear of actually saying what happened out loud. “Oh my Godddd, I can’t.” You hide your face in your hands.

Chaewon pushes your hands down and shakes you by the wrists. “Tell me!”

You take a deep breath. “Okay, so. At the bar, Beomgyu came up to me and was like are you leaving with Soobin? And I was like no, and he was so happy about that. But then he got really upset when I wanted to go back to the table with Soobin. Literally so upset that I ended up going back home with him cause he was gonna sulk all night otherwise.”

“Oh my fucking God, Aeri and I were literally joking about that being the reason why you left. That’s crazy,” Chaewon says.

“The next day, I asked him for his opinion on Soobin, and he got all pissed at me for some reason,” you continue.

“It’s cause he likes you!” Chaewon chimes in, rising up and screeching with the adrenaline of the conversation.

“Well then it gets crazy. He starts talking about how our friendship is enough, I don’t need a man, and I’m like huh? I don’t even remember everything he said, but it was so weird, and he started offering himself up to me basically.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Like, I’ll do whatever you want, literally like that,” you explain.

“Girl.” You share a glance.

“Just wait. It gets worse,” you say.

“Don’t tell me you fucked.”

“Just wait!” you repeat. “So I tell him I’m gonna head to your place to clear my mind, and—I can’t make this up—he drops to his knees and starts crying actual tears. And then it gets kinda horny?”

Chaewon busts out laughing and claps her hands. “How’d I know?”

“He’s biting and licking my thigh, and I’m still trying to talk some sense into him, but some demon ends up possessing me and he takes me to my bed, and we don’t fuck but we… yeah.”

Chaewon covers her mouth in shock. She’s speechless, and you let the first half of the story ruminate in silence for a few long seconds. You tighten your lips and nod like you’re disappointed too.

“When we finish, I tell him that this is never happening again, and that he needs to leave my room, but he doesn’t. He insists on sleeping in my bed with me because Soobin gets me every other night, which is not true, but I let him have it anyway.”

“You need to put your foot down. He’s crazy,” Chaewon says.

“There’s more,” you respond. “Also, that night, he told me that Soobin apparently said we’re together or something at the bar? Is that true?”

Chaewon scrunches up her face. “No? I don’t think he said that.”

You groan, “Beomgyu is literally driving himself crazy. Anyway, the next day I literally start hating myself so bad because I wake up and have to see Soobin immediately”—Chaewon gasps—“Yeah. And the whole time I’m thinking, do I tell him? Should he know? And, oh my God, Beomgyu would not stop blowing up my phone during our date.”

“I would have to fight him, that’s so annoying,” Chaewon comments.

“It was! He didn’t even need anything either, he just wanted my attention. I didn’t end up telling Soobin anything cause I was scared. When I got home, Beomgyu and I ate and he was like I hope this is better than what you did with Soobin.”

“Girl, beat his ass,” Chaewon says.

“Stop,” you laugh, pushing her shoulder. “We argue again, and then I ask you to come over. Then you know what happens when you’re there. When you leave, though, the demons get to me again and I get even freakier with Beomgyu.”

Chaewon looks at you in horror and shock.

“Yeah. So when it ends, I tell him that this won’t happen again. He gets all sad and cries again, and says all this heartbreaking, confusing shit. So no matter what I do, I feel like I’m hurting someone.”

“Can I be honest? He’s one hundred percent manipulating you,” she says. You flinch a bit at that. Manipulating you? That’s a little far.

“I wouldn’t say that,” you refute. “He just ignores all our friendship’s boundaries.” Beomgyu has touched you in ways that friends shouldn’t. He’s declared things to you that friends shouldn’t. He’s begged to you and drove himself to tears, he’s gotten in his head with insecurities about you, he’s done too many things that a friend would never do that you just can’t ignore.

Chaewon places her hand over your own. That’s how you know she’s about to get serious. You like talking about this with her because she can be fun, but she can also be mature about things and give good advice. Plus, at least with her, you don’t have to worry about not being heard.

“Listen,” she starts. “He cries to you because he knows you’ll give in. He brings up his devotion to you because it makes you feel like you owe him. It’s not about professing his emotions, it’s about doing whatever it takes to keep you closest to him.”

Your brain is struggling to fit all the pieces together. It’s not adding up or making sense to you. Maybe to an outside source like Chaewon, it looks a little bad, but you know Beomgyu better than that. You always have been influenced by him. Right now is no different. He doesn’t want to control you, you think. He just wants his best friend.

“He’s not evil, Chaewon, he’s just being annoying,” you say. She sighs and goes quiet for a second. You can tell she’s carefully formulating her response.

“He’s being selfish. He can’t stand to see you choose another man over him.” That much you know. He’s admitted to that.

“Then wouldn’t I be selfish too? Letting him do things with me while I’m talking to Soobin,” you ask, looking off to the side. When you say it like that, guilt pours over you. If Beomgyu’s being selfish, then you’ve been obscenely greedy. That’s not a far cry from the truth, though, and it may even be the actuality of the situation after all. You won’t defend yourself from that claim.

“The thing is, you wouldn’t be doing any of this if Beomgyu wasn’t messing with your head,” Chaewon reasons. “Would you have let him touch you if he never cried to you that night?”

You think back to your first intimate moment with Beomgyu. You definitely wanted it. The second time too. You ponder Chaewon’s words. If he never fell to his knees, begging you to stay, what would have happened? If he skipped the tears and the pity party and just took you straight to your room to fuck, would you have been okay with it then?

Probably not, you think. But how relevant is that? You can’t separate Beomgyu’s emotions from his actions. He felt like he was losing you, and that’s why he did everything. Everything that happened after was from the heat of the moment, an act of desperation.

Maybe it’s his utter devotion that turns you on, maybe that’s what keeps you from denying him. Seeing a man so desperate that he’d shed tears for you, perhaps it’s what makes you lose control. When Beomgyu’s on his knees, looking up at you with painfully honest eyes, promising you that he’ll be good, any woman in your position would fold.

What if it wasn’t Beomgyu? What if it was Soobin instead? Would you still give in? You try to picture it. You look into Soobin’s eyes and feel his fingers on your thighs. You try to make yourself burn up more, but you don’t feel much.

Okay, picture it more, maybe. He’s got you spread on your mattress, begging you for just one touch. He kisses your stomach, and his tears fall off his cheek and onto your skin. His tongue is warm and wanting, exploring further down your body until he bites down on your waistband. You tense up, needing more. You grab his hair tight. He looks up at you and you almost shriek, horror and humiliation crashing over you. He’s not Soobin at all. He’s Beomgyu.

Chaewon’s voice cuts through your thoughts to ask you another question, “Do you feel like you can’t leave him?”

“I’d never leave him,” you answer. You didn’t even have to think about it. She sighs.

“At some point, you have to realize that this is going beyond keeping a friend around,” Chaewon says. “He won’t let you go out with Soobin in peace. He argues with you whenever you mention him. He touches you to get your mind off of him.”

You don’t try to refute that. Should you just accept defeat? You could go home and surrender to Beomgyu. You could promise to never look at Soobin again, and he’d finally get what he wants without a fight. You’d live the rest of your life not knowing whether you’ve got the love of your life standing right beside you or waiting out in the world somewhere.

“He’s giving you no choice. He’s doing it on purpose.” Chaewon picks up your hands, lacing them with her own. “You have to start standing your ground with him. No more letting him control your life.” Her hands give a firm, reassuring squeeze to yours.

You nod. “You’re right.” She smiles.

“Okay. Bring it here,” she says, pulling you into a hug. The second your head lands on her shoulder, you start crying. You didn’t even know you had to cry. She rubs her hand down your back, letting you use her as an outlet.

“What happens if I can’t, and nothing changes?” you sob. You feel helpless in your own life. Nothing you do will change what Beomgyu does or erase what you have done.

“Then you leave,” she answers simply. You tense up at the idea. Do you have it in you? You’re not nearly brave enough. “You come stay with me for however long you need. I promise.”

“How will I look at Soobin after this?” You should save everyone a whole lot of trouble and just call things off with him. The thought makes you feel sick, though. You don’t want to leave Soobin. You have a real connection with him. Beomgyu’s just getting in the way of it, fogging up your mind at every chance he gets.

Chaewon pulls you out of her embrace so she can look you in the eye. Her hands stay on your shoulders, firm and reassuring. “Stop beating yourself up. You made a mistake, but you’re not the biggest one at blame here.”

You wish that was true. You blame your lack of spine, your inability to keep your conscience clear, and your willingness to lie to save face. You look down at your lap in shame. If Beomgyu’s an asshole, then you’re perfect for him. You’re not as good as you’d like to think.

Chaewon calls your name to bring your attention back to her. “Soobin isn’t even your boyfriend. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Well, that’s true. You sniffle.

“Won’t he hate me now?” you ask.

“He has no right. As long as there’s no label, you two aren’t exclusive. Sure, things are a lot more complicated now, but you’re not a bad person for anything you did,” she says. You nod slowly. Her words help you so much. You would have gone crazy without her.

Maybe you should take her advice: leave Beomgyu and stay with her, at least until you can make up your mind. You can’t do that to him, though. He’d fall apart. It would honestly be hard for you, too.

“Thanks, Chaewon,” you say. You flop down onto the bed, letting your body sink into her mattress. “I’m so exhausted after that.”

“A good cry will do that to you,” Chaewon laughs. She lays down beside you and rests her arm over your waist. You pull yourself closer to her until you’re laying on her chest. You throw a leg over her, getting comfortable.

“Let’s order pizza,” you suggest.

“Yesss, and watch more of my show,” Chaewon adds. She picks up her phone and searches for a good pizza place that can deliver to her. As she does that, your phone screen lights up to signal that Beomgyu’s calling you.

“Oh my God,” you say, holding your phone up for Chaewon to see.

Chaewon smirks and shakes her head. “We summoned him.”

You sit up as you answer the call. “Hi Gyu, what’s up?”

“Not much, just wondering if you’re gonna be here for dinner?” he answers.

“No, I’m getting pizza.” Beomgyu hums on the other end, and it’s quiet for a few seconds.

“Are you with Soobin right now?” he asks. You’re displeased but unsurprised at his question.

“I’m with Chaewon,” you say flatly. Chaewon leans closer to you and points at your phone.

“Let me talk to him,” she whispers, fury in her eyes. You shake your head. You absolutely cannot let that fight happen.

“Oh. Are you sleeping over there?” Beomgyu asks. Chaewon nods with wide eyes, like you’d be crazy if you said no.

“I might, yeah,” you answer.

“Alright. Tell her I said hi. Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back after work.”

“Yay, have fun with Chaewon then! Bye~” he sings.

“See you.” You hang up and turn to Chaewon. “Did you order the pizza?”

“It’s on its way,” she confirms with a grin.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You take a deep breath before you enter your apartment. You’re nervous to face Beomgyu again. Not knowing how he’s going to act is worrying you, because you don’t know if you’re going to walk in and get a normal night with your best friend, or more confusing confessions that toe the line between friendliness and something greater.

You don’t see him when you come in, so you wonder if he’s working. That would make your night less stressful. That proves to be wishful thinking, though, when shut the fridge after grabbing a drink and see Beomgyu walking into the kitchen. He greets you with a sweet call of your name.

You smile at him, but it doesn’t meet your eyes. After your conversation with Chaewon yesterday, the only thing that’s been lingering on your mind is how to finally put your foot down. Do you wait for him to try something to have that conversation? He’s going to be offended no matter when you say it, so maybe you should just get it over with. You don’t know.

“How was work?” he asks.

You shrug. “It was kind of a long day.” Not for any work related reasons, but you don’t tell him that part. Standing in the kitchen with him feels awkward now, even though it never used to before. You just can’t stop thinking about him in unfriendly ways, be it from his kiss or from his confessions.

You realize that these thoughts will only pester you worse and worse the longer you ignore the topic with Beomgyu. He’s talking about what he did at work today, but you’re barely listening. Your eyes linger on his lips as he speaks. You follow the movement of his hands as he rambles, thinking about how those slender fingers felt inside of you.

God, stop! This is why you should have never done anything with him. At this rate, you’ll never be able to have a normal conversation with him again. Your heart starts beating faster. You need to let him know that you need space. Fuck, why did you let it get this far? His sad eyes flicker in the back of your mind already.

Beomgyu moves to the couch, probably expecting you to follow him and turn on the television. Your feet stay planted where they are, watching him with careful eyes. He looks back at you when he realizes you didn’t trail behind him, staring at you expectantly.

You force yourself to move, walking slowly into the room with him. You sit on the couch, leaving a considerable amount of space between the two of you.

Now’s the time. Speak up, you have to. Don’t worry about his feelings. Think about Soobin. Do this for him—better yet, do this for yourself. Prove that you have it in you.

“Beomgyu,” you say. He furrows his brows, seeming confused at your serious tone. “We can’t do this anymore. I’m serious.” You steady your breathing as you look him straight in the eye.

“What do you mean?” he’s quick to ask. You know he’s not dumb enough to not understand what you meant. He grabs your hand to hold it, and you let him have it for a few seconds before you pull away.

“I mean, no more playing with each other. No touching, or kissing, or anything we wouldn’t normally do.” You’re anxious as hell, but you feel strong for once, and it’s nerve-wracking yet empowering. You’re setting your boundaries. No more reckless decisions that leave you regretting everything the next day.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes. “Why, cause Soobin said so?”

“No, because I said so,” you correct. He tilts his head as a frown starts to form on his face. You remind yourself that you can’t let him win. You remind yourself of everything that Chaewon said. Beomgyu will do anything he can to win, and you can’t let that happen.

He’s quiet for a moment, unnerving you. You know that he’s coming up with his pleas now. You have to cut him off before he can get anything out.

“You’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose you because of some dumb decision we made,” you say, hoping he’ll understand, but the sadness in his eyes only grows at that. He drops his head onto your shoulder and hugs you. Oh lord. You hug him back with a heavy exhale.

“What am I supposed to do? Watch you be happy with someone that’s not me?” he murmurs into your neck. You lean out of the hug so that you can look him in the eye. He needs to know you’re not breaking this time.

“Yes. It’s either that or we argue like we have been everyday.” It’s about time that he stops sulking at every mention of Soobin.

“Then I’ll take the arguments. I’ll take you yelling at me and hitting me, I don’t care. I just can’t take you being with him,” he says.

“I’d never do that,” you refute, sick at the idea of hurting him. “You have to listen to me. Let me see this out with Soobin. I want to at least give him a chance without you intervening.”

He sighs with a heavy heart. Is he going to let you win? That easy?

“Did Chaewon tell you to do this?” he asks. You drop your jaw in shock. He’s got some nerve asking that.

“That doesn’t matter, the only thing that does is that I told you we have to stop, and you need to listen.” You can’t believe he’s bringing Chaewon into this. He’s out of his mind if he thinks you’re going to let him blame her.

Beomgyu deflates into the couch and looks down at the floor. You ignore how your heart clenches. You can’t comfort him, that would be his window for turning this situation around. He has to know you mean this, so you walk away, going to your room and shutting the door.

You lean your back against the door and zone out, staring at the wall. Don’t think about how Beomgyu feels. Don’t think about how you might have ruined your friendship.

What do you do now? Will he want to talk to you anymore? Maybe you should have let him plead his case a little. He’s insecure, he can’t help it. You slide down the door until you’re sitting down.

You have to stop making excuses for him. He’s an adult, it’s time he acts like it. Chaewon’s right, you can’t keep giving him what he wants, and putting your foot down and hurting his feelings was the only way he was going to learn.

That’s what you’ve been doing, you suppose, but this time you mean it, and you hope he knows it. You’re going to have to put in more effort into resisting the urge to comfort him. If he keeps making things hard for you, you’ll have to start ignoring and avoiding him. The thought scares you.

You don’t want to think about this anymore. You wish you didn’t have to do this, but you had no choice. Your thoughts about him were driving you crazy, and you had to put a stop to it before they could get even worse. Not to mention how guilty you’d feel hanging out with Soobin if you continued letting Beomgyu have his way with you.

You open your phone and go to your chat with Soobin and type a quick message.

Hey

You just want to reassure yourself that you made the right choice. Hurting Beomgyu’s feelings can’t be for naught. You don’t expect Soobin to respond so fast, but he does.

[Soobin] Wow I was just thinking about you lol

[Soobin] Hi

Your heart skips a beat as you read his texts. He thinks about you?

Oh really? About what?

[Soobin] I wanted to see you again

You bite your lip and a smile grows on your face. See? Wasn’t this worth making Beomgyu a little sad? Wasn’t it a fair trade off? He’ll be okay, surely. And eventually, you might even stop feeling guilty for doing it, too.

You deserve to be able to talk with Soobin without your conscience barking at you. This is what had to happen. You’ll feel better about this when everything all works out in the end.

How about tomorrow?

[Soobin] I’d love that

Yayyyy

Finally something not shitty about my day

[Soobin] What happened?

You groan. Where do you even start?

Argument with my friend

[Soobin] Beomgyu?

Yep…

[Soobin] Well I’m glad I could make you happy for a minute then :)

You find yourself giggling at his message.

You’re cute

[Soobin] Thank you

[Soobin] You too

You almost squeal when you read that. He’s so shy when it comes to flirting, but when he does it, it never fails to give you butterflies. You imagine him blushing as he sent it, feeling a little hesitant to be so bold. What an endearing guy.

Finally, you feel like you can end the night on a decent note. You feel better now that you’ve got something to look forward to with Soobin. You don’t let yourself think about Beomgyu anymore tonight, not wanting to sink down that rabbit hole.

I’m gonna go to sleep, thanks for cheering me up hehe

And for everything that you do

Good night

[Soobin] Sleep well

[Soobin] Dream of me

Your heart flutters. Your fingers race across the keyboard.

Fingers crossed

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The air around you and Soobin feels so much lighter now that guilt doesn’t have you in its claws. You ended whatever you had going on with Beomgyu, and now you can focus more on Soobin. Your heart holds an open invitation for Soobin to occupy, you’re just waiting for the feelings to further bloom.

It’s unfortunate how early it gets dark out, but you don’t let it ruin your day. You bask in the glow of the streetlights as you and Soobin walk to the park.

“I used to come here all the time with my sister and nephew,” he says. You find a gazebo to sit under. From here, you have a perfect view of the frozen-over lake ahead of you. “We’d play tag with him, but we’d have to run super slow to give him a fair chance.”

You can see that image clearly in your mind, and it makes you smile at how cute it is. Soobin being such a family man is so charming to you. He has such marriage potential. You’re getting ahead of yourself, though.

“This seems like a good place to bring a kid. So much space to play,” you comment, looking out at the park. The grass doesn’t look so alive right now, and all the trees are bare, but it must be nice in the summertime. Even now, there’s something beautiful about it.

“Yeah, it makes me think about having kids of my own to run around in these fields.” The idea of a mini Soobin playing here makes you chuckle. He’d definitely have well-behaved kids. He would be a good dad.

“You want to stay here when you raise a family?” you ask.

“I think so. There’s a lot this place has in store. I’m a little attached to it,” he laughs. You wonder if you’ll think of the city so fondly one day too. You’ve only been here for a little over a year.

“Really? What’s the best thing in this city, then?” you ask and smile at him.

He looks at you for a long second, then lets out a little laugh. His cheeks are red when he looks back out at the lake. “I don’t know…”

You giggle, swooning over him yet again. “What about your hometown? What was it like there?”

“It was nice. I lived in a small area. I miss it sometimes, but I don’t think I’d go back. I think I mostly miss being a child,” he answers.

“I can relate to that,” you say. “Life’s harder now.” You think about the past week in particular and all the chaos with Beomgyu. Teenage you would never have imagined getting tangled up in something like this, especially not involving him.

“Things like this are good, though,” Soobin adds, smiling at you. “Things with you.” Your face heats up. He’s getting so flirty and brave.

“Same for me,” you say. “It’s good with you.” You spend a few quiet seconds admiring his face, letting the butterflies flutter wildly within you.

“I think it’s been long enough for me to ask this,” Soobin starts. Your body tenses in anticipation. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Oh god. The butterflies halt and replace their happy fluttering with silent dread. All of your effort is going into maintaining a neutral composition. You don’t want to let your internal dilemma show. Your heart is going haywire, like it’s trying to beat right out of your chest. You don’t blame it for trying to run away; a part of you wishes you could too.

“Can we wait a little longer?” you ask meekly. You fear hurting his feelings, but you simply need more time. This is not how you imagined this moment would go. You wish you could scream yes and jump into his arms, but things have gotten muddy in the past week. You need to sort everything out with Beomgyu first. If this is going to happen, you need to make sure it comes from a place of one hundred percent certainty. You can’t be exclusive with Soobin with Beomgyu lingering in the back of your mind.

If Soobin’s trying to mask his disappointment, he’s failing. Your heart drops. Is this where he leaves you? No—you’re not ready for that either. If he gets up right now, you’re ready to cling onto his jacket and beg him not to go. You don’t know what you just did. You messed up. You should’ve just said yes.

“I’ll wait however long you need,” he ends up saying. He stays right where he is. You sigh in relief and hug him. He lets out a noise of surprise, but is quick to hug you back.

“Thank you. I’m sorry. Things are just…” you trail off as you pull away from him. He brushes your hair out of your face. “…Confusing right now.”

“Is there someone else?” he asks.

You gulp. “Kind of. It’s… Beomgyu.”

“Oh, right. He doesn’t like me.”

You frown. “I don’t know why.”

“You really value his opinion,” he notes.

“It’s not only that…” you say, looking down at your hands fidgeting in your lap. Soobin lifts your head back up with a gentle hand. He smiles when your eyes meet.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I’m ready whenever you are,” he reassures. He leans in to place a peck on your cheek. You heat up wildly.

“You should probably know, though,” you urge.

“No,” he insists. “Honestly, I don’t want to know. I’m just happy I get you to myself every time that I do.”

A weight lifts itself from your shoulders. You feel like you can breathe again. You’re lucky that Soobin is so understanding, and even luckier that he’s willing to wait for you to figure your own things out. He doesn’t owe you that, but you’re endlessly appreciative that he gives it to you anyway.

You lean into Soobin’s side and look out at the scenery in front of you. The two of you fall back into conversation, and you find yourself feeling sad when it’s time to go.

As you hug him goodbye, you feel inclined to just never let go. You feel so comfortable in his embrace. You insist on meeting up again over the weekend, and he puts up no fight in accepting. Gosh, he makes your heart race. Things are finally feeling good again.

notes: yayyyy what do we think?? chapter 2’s already at 7.6k and i’m estimating it’ll get up to ~17k-20k, but we shall see. i’m excited to hear ur thoughts, so feel free to leave feedback! 🤍

© delugyu 2025, do not translate or reupload

[crunchystarz]

"Nightmare"

Leona Kingscholar x GN!Reader

Summary: In which Leona has a terrible nightmare regarding you but no worries you're there to comfort him

Cw- mentions of death in nightmare, angst, fluff, established relationship, One shot

Word count: 887

A.N: Wowza first non creepypasta work on this acc spare me (I'm still figuring this whole Tumblr thing out lol), also this is imported from my Google docs so the spacing might be a little weird

His heart pounded in his chest, like the crash of waves. The sound of blood rushing through his veins loud in his ears, drowning out all else. His body refused to move, as if something rooted him to the ground.

He stared at your lifeless body, his breath hitching in uneven gasps. Helplessness consumed him. He wanted to scream until he couldn't anymore , but the cry caught in his throat. He was frozen ,completely immobilized like a statue.

He had failed you. The thought tore through him sharp. Why hadn’t he been faster? Stronger? Smarter? His mind replayed every moment, every decision, desperately searching for the one that would have ended differently.

If only he’d been better, you’d still be here. You’d still be breathing, your chest rising and falling with life, those eyes he loved so dearly looking back at him.

His hands trembled as he reached for you, cradling your cold, unresponsive body. He hadn’t even realized he’d moved. Tears blurred his vision,throat tightened. It didn’t matter anymore not the pain in his knees, not the ache in his arms from holding you so tightly. Nothing mattered.

Why hadn’t it been him instead? He’d trade everything, it didn't matter what as long as he could hear your laugh one more time, to feel your warmth, to see you smile.

Leona jolted awake with a sharp gasp, his blankets tangled. Green eyes wide and darting around the room. His heart was racing. A hand dragged over his face, trying to ground himself as reality slowly bled back in.

It was a dream. Only a dream.

Just a dream Leona…

Yet the vividness of it lingered. He turned his gaze to the empty space beside him on the bed, and his breath hitched again.

“[Name]?” His voice, rough and strained, cracked as he called out. His ears twitched, and relief washed over him as he heard the soft sound of approaching footsteps.

Your footsteps

The door creaked open, and there you were, bathed in the faint morning light spilling through the window. "You're finally awake, morning sleepyhead," you said with a smile. Your voice was warm and laced with affection as you walked over to him.

Sevens did he love your voice.

Leona exhaled shakily, the weight on his chest easing slightly. But his body remained tense, his hands gripping the sheets.

You noticed how off he was immediately. “Leona?” Concern filled your voice as you sat down on the edge of the bed, your hands resting gently on his shoulders grounding him.

Before you could even say anything else, Leona moved. His arms shot out, wrapping around you and pulling you down onto the mattress with a forceful yet desperate urgency. You let out a yelp in surprise.

His grip was firm, almost crushing, as though he feared you’d disappear if he let go. You could feel the faint tremble in his frame, it made your heart ache.

“Leona?” you repeated softly, tilting your head to look at him. He didn’t answer, only burying his face in the crook of your neck. The steady rhythm of your heartbeat against his ear was the only thing he could focus on.

You were alive.

"What's going on?" you asked gently, your fingers threading through his hair and brushing behind his ears in a soothing gesture. "This isn't like you."

“Bad dream,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible. But the unease in his tone betrayed him. You frowned, concern deepening as you pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.

"I'm here now," you whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

You lay back against the pillow, letting him cling to you. Slowly, you matched your breathing to his, your chest rising and falling in a rhythm until his ragged breaths began to even out. Your hand moved in slow, comforting strokes along his back, and eventually, he calmed

You felt a vibration against your chest, followed by a deep, purring. It brought a small smile to your face. "You know," you teased lightly, "purring like that? Not very nonchalant housewarden of you."

"Shuddup," he muttered, his voice muffled as he pressed himself closer to you. You giggled softly, the sound making his heart leap. This time, the pounding in his chest wasn’t fear, it was just love.

He nuzzled his face deeper into the crook of your neck, inhaling the comforting scent of you. The memory of the nightmare still lingered, but it was dulled now, by your presence. You were here, alive and breathing, and that was enough for him.

After a moment, he pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you. His green eyes, usually half-lidded, were wide and searching, drinking in every detail of your face. He couldn't get enough.

Everything you. He loved each of your features,

everything. Because it was yours.

“I love you,” he said, the words escaping him before he could even registr what he was saying.

You smiled, the kind of smile that he'd do anything for just to see.

“I love you too.”

Leona pulled you closer, his arms tightening around you as his tail snaked in between your legs. For now, that was all he needed, just you, safe in his arms, your warmth calming him.

He was at peace. Calm and tangled in one another.

MASTERLIST

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

New Year, New Chapter, All With You (Dabi x Self-Insert!Reader 18+ One Shot) [COMMISSION FILL]  

Pairing: Touya “Dabi” Todoroki x Self-Insert!Reader 

Synopsis: In which Dabi wakes up on the first New Year’s Day he is spending with a significant other and decides to show her just how much this means to him in the best way he knows how: with his mouth, his hands, and anything else of his that you’re feening for in the new year. 

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS DNI); BF!Dabi x GF!Reader; Reader is Black, Fem & Plus-Sized; Love Confession; Somno; Dubcon/R*pe (cuz Dabi eats you out in your sleep); Oral (Giving n Receiving); Deepthroat; Sloppy Facefuck; Spit Play; Dom!Dabi x sub!Reader; Daddy Kink; Mating Press; Pussy-drunk!Dabi; Cum-drunk!Reader; Breeding Kink; Implied Breeding; Unprotected PIV Sex; Creampie; Aftercare

Writer's Note: HAPPY 2025 Y'ALL!!! I hope to continue to make these smutty, freaky ass fics in the new year with all of your love & support! This is officially my first fic of 2025!! EVERYBODY CLAP!!! Thank you to @curiouscutie143 for the idea & for continuing to allow me to take her fantasy & apply it to a Google Doc lol. I hope y'all enjoy this sweet little New Year's Day one-shot for my favorite emotionally fucked-up villain. -Jazz

***********

Dabi has never shied away from his primal desires for you, but today, he is downright an animal and on some major bullshit that even he is staring at himself in wonder over. 

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ he internally asks himself as he stares at you sleeping soundly next time. Though he has been asking himself this question nearly all of his life, this time it has nothing to do with his behavior, rage, or burning desire for vengeance. 

On this particular morning, when the dawn of 2025 is here and the sun pours in through your bedroom window, it has everything to do with the way his body is reacting to the sight of you. 

Lovely, brown, plump, sweet you. 

You lay down asleep on your side, your back to him and the soft duvet draped across the bed covering you from the shoulder down. He knows you’re naked under the sheets. Last night, he came over to celebrate New Year’s Eve with you where you cooked him a steak dinner and he showed his appreciation by eating your pretty cunt until you came right as the ball dropped and midnight struck. 

He has no idea what time you finally passed out and sleep came for him as well, leading you both to crash out in your bedroom at some point in the early AM hours. All he knows is that you spent the entire night fucking and cumming, never tapping out once. You seemed to be running on the same arousal and adrenaline as he was last night, never being able to get quite enough of his cock. 

Looking at you now, so peaceful and serene, he can’t stop his cock from pulsing and twitching against his toned stomach etched in scars, staples, and tattoos. Your long lashes fan across your soft cheeks, black and doll-like, while your soft lips part to slowly inhale and exhale, your body rising and falling evenly as your lungs expand and deflate with air. 

Dabi feels his heart leap in his throat and his cheeks flush at the sight of you. Now he knows that his body is reacting all to your sneaky spell. How dare you be so goddamn cute when you’re just sleeping? How dare you make him feel so deeply and so crazily when he just woke up? 

You make a sudden noise between a sigh and a moan that makes his dick throb and turn over onto your back, something you often do in your sleep. You often laugh about it with him after discussing what in the hell he was talking about in his sleep that he couldn’t remember the night before. He loves laughing with you…almost as much as he loves your tits. 

He ogles at them now as you lay flat on your back, a strand of hair in your face. You forgot to wrap it up the night before because he was too busy putting you into your mattress to let you put a bonnet on. “I don’t give a fuck about that shit,” he growled as he plunged his cock into you again and again, your juicy thighs parted for him in his calloused hands. “You’re fuckin’ sexy either way. Are you stupid?” 

‘So beautiful,’ he thinks in utter adoration as he stares at you sleeping. ‘So mine.’ 

How he wants to reenact last night all over again. His cock is urging him to do so, pulsing and throbbing so uncomfortably under the covers. He too slept naked after last night’s fuck session, passing out next to you.

Lucky for you, he knows exactly how to get what he wants and give you a pleasant surprise all in one sitting. With a smirk, he carefully gets out of bed and moves to the bottom where your feet are. When he lifts the covers to see your glittery, dark purple toenails, he swears that his cock grows two sizes bigger. 

How the fuck is it that even your toes make him rock? ‘Fuckin’ minx,’ he thinks.

Quickly, he ducks under the covers and slides up to your legs where he gently prys them apart. How he loves your lower body! Your soft, plush thighs; your pudgy stomach; your hips; your ass that could stop traffic; your stretchmarks. And don’t even make him mention that pretty rosebud between your juicy thighs. As much as he adores your upper body (especially your pretty face), the bottom half is just so much fun. 

Just staring at your cunt now is enough to make him salivate as he holds your hips in his big, scarred hands. Though you’re not “ready” yet, he knows exactly how to get you there. He starts tracing light kisses along your belly, his fingers gliding down your sides before his kisses trail down to your thighs. He starts on the outside before he moves inside, pressing wet kisses and licks to the tender flesh. “Mmm,” you moan into your pillow, your head lolling to the left. 

Already knowing that this is a good sign, Dabi continues to kiss and massage your thighs before slowly moving on to pressing light, butterfly kisses to your pussy. As he does, his hands stretch up your body to grasp your tits, massaging the magical, pretty globes in his calloused hands. You begin to moan a little more now, your chest instinctively arching into his touch. 

Finally, he really gets into making your pussy feel good by leaving open-mouthed kisses along your pretty, brown lips, sucking gently on them before prying them apart with his mouth. His saliva wettens your folds, but as the seconds tick by, your pussy begins to lube itself, growing wet from Dabi’s sinful mouth and wicked tongue. “Oh,” you sigh when you feel his tongue piercing melt onto your clit. Though you’re still asleep, he knows your dreams have begun to shift to him. 

He wonders just what you’re seeing behind those pretty eyes. Perhaps his face between your thighs? You’d better be. He is the only one who can make you feel this way and have you this way. To persuade you to see his way of things, he hikes your legs over his shoulders and proceeds to lap at your cunt, alternating between sucking, slurping, and lapping at the wetness you give him. 

Your moans and gasps have grown louder now, your body writhing underneath his hands and mouth. Finally, you awaken, the morning sun hitting your face. As your eyes adjust, you notice the moving lump underneath the covers at your feet. “Ah….ah, wha…?” You lift your head and move the covers away from your naked body, finding your boyfriend between your legs and his pierced tongue lewdly licking at your clit. “D-Dabi? What are you doing?” 

The white-haired stud looks up between your legs, his hypnotizing, blue eyes boring into yours. 

“Da fuck do it look like?” he mutters with a glower. “I’m eating your pussy.” Without another word, he ducks back down to suck on your clit, sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body, shocking you out of sleep and into reality. 

“B-But…ah!” Your hands immediately go for his hair, intertwined in the soft, white locks. He looks good in black hair too, but you also thought the white hair gave him a sexier, more ethereal look. “But I was asleep!” you whine. “You woke me up!” Your boyfriend smirks, wetly popping off of your clit. “The sun would’ve woken you up anyway. C’mon, you can’t act like this ain’t the best way to wake up, baby.” 

To make you see things his way once more and clear your head of all sleep and things that aren’t him, Dabi begins to rub your clit with his thumb while his tongue gently pries open your folds and dips into your entrance. Your moan is loud and almost a scream, your hands gripping his hair as he eats away, using that damn tongue in ways you’ve never had before. “Fuck!” you gasp. “D-Dabi–” 

He hums in disapproval, pulling away to give your pussy a sharp smack. You jump at the contact, his calloused palm causing your cunt to throb. “Wrong name, mamas,” he growls. “Try again and maybe I’ll listen.”

His smirk is irking yet so sexy that it makes you want to cum right there. How you hate and love his cockiness and arrogance; his ability to peer right through you and know exactly what makes you tick. 

“Daddy,” you whimper. He smiles, pleased. “At least get the lube.” His smile grows, reminding you of a villain whose plan is succeeding. Nasty motherfucker. “Naughty girl, always wantin’ that damn lube. You just like how it feels.”

And you do. You love this particular lube because of how it heats according to your body temperature and how it tastes: like strawberries. Dabi straightens up, knocking the covers off of both of your naked bodies. “But if I get it, you’d better be suckin’ that shit off of my cock later,” he raspily orders, nodding down at his cock that has quickly hardened against his thighs. 

You whimper, feeling your pussy clench around air at the sight. His cock is beautiful–big, thick, and pierced at the head. “Yes, Daddy,” you obediently reply. Your boyfriend grins, knowing that you have fallen into his trap and you don’t want to ever go back until you release. Lucky for you, he is here and he won’t stop until you give him what he wants: your sweet, ushy, gushy cum. 

Moments later, after he squirts some lube onto your pussy and his fingers, you both get what you want. The wet, sloshing sounds of the lube mixed with his spit and your juices fill the air as Dabi finger-fucks you, curling a finger up against your G-spot as he sucks on your clit. Wetness has dripped down to your asscrack and the mattress, creating a huge wet spot underneath you that neither one of you cares about staining the bed. 

And you certainly don’t care about it when your boyfriend is doing such a great job eating you out and fingering you, focusing on particular spots that make you moan louder and arch your back harder for him. “That’s my good girl,” he coos against your clit. “Jus’ look at how much you’re gushin’ for me, doll. Givin’ me so much.” 

He gives your clit a long suck before using his tongue to lick over the hood, rolling and licking the bud again and again. “Ohhhh,” you moan, your head lolling back against the pillow and your body twitching in pleasure. It doesn’t take long for the urge to cum to rise and that knot in your core tightens. “Ohhh, fuck, Dabi, I’m gonna cum! You’re gonna make me…!” 

Your words break off with a gasp as Dabi’s finger glows its pace, still fucking focusing on that spot that makes you see space and time. His blue eyes flick up to drill into yours, intensity radiating from them. “Tell me you love me first.” In your delirious state of blinding pleasure, you manage to hear that. And why wouldn’t you? The L-word was in there! 

You blink at Dabi, perplexed. You have never told each other that you loved one another…though you do feel that for him. You have loved him for a long time now, having realized it one random day while watching a movie and feeling his arms wrapped around you. You felt good. Right, even. But you’ve never said it in fear of scaring Dabi or making him run. You know that love has never exactly done him well in his life until recent years when he reconnected with his siblings. 

Love has never been something Dabi has been able to obtain until he met the LOV crew and made a family with them. You want nothing more than to tell him that he has a family with you too. And maybe now, splayed out with your pussy in his face, you can tell him that. “W-What?” you stammer. “I–oh!” 

Dabi gives a long, teasing lick from your asscrack up to your pussy as his finger speeds up, still curled inside of you in a ‘come hither’ motion. “Say you love me,” he demands. “Tell me and I’ll let you cum. I know you need it, baby, so tell me.” 

You can’t think about why he’s demanding this of you. You can’t ask him where any of this is coming from (at least right now). Not when this feels so good and the urge to cum is intensifying, creating a tight fist in your core. “I-I love you!” you sob, gripping his hair for dear life. “I love you, Daddy! Please, please let me cum! You eat this pussy so good!”  

You feel Dabi smile against your clit, overjoyed by your confession. “Cum for me, baby,” he growls, his eyes flashing with need. “Fuckin’ give it to me. Don’t you dare hold back.” He begins French kissing your clit as his finger works with his mouth to make you cream all over his tongue and his digit, groaning against your wetness. “Cum all over my face,” he practically begs. “Give it to me!” 

He is desperate and so are you. Your loud moans ricochet off of the bedroom walls as you finally burst all over his face and the bed, that bubble inside of you finally popping. Your boyfriend greedily slurps up your cum, loving how you grind your pussy more against his face in an effort to ride out your orgasm. One of your hands leaves his hair to grab one of your titties and massage it, your body, mind, and soul in the throes of pleasure…and your first orgasm of 2025. 

When your orgasm finally fades and the fog clears, you are left with the pink elephant in the room: you just told Dabi you loved him. You peer down at him and see him already staring at you, his lips coated in your juices. For a split second, all is silent and slightly awkward as the L-word, forbidden and messy, hangs in the air. “So did you mean it?” he finally asks. “When you said you loved me? It wasn’t just sex talk?” 

You notice how intense yet soft his eyes have become. Gone is the arousal and desire that was in them before, replaced with a vulnerability that you’ve never seen in Dabi. You immediately sit up, your hair a mess and still panting slightly from your orgasm. “Why are you asking me this?�� you softly ask. “Is this why you woke me up?” 

Dabi suddenly looks away, appearing conflicted. You patiently wait for him to continue, not wanting to push him. “You know I’m not good at words, babe,” he sighs. “So I tried to show you.”

You put a hand on his, letting him know that you’re here and listening. “Show me what?” you gently coax him. Your heart is hammering so hard that you can hear it throbbing. 

Your boyfriend nervously gnaws on his bottom lip, toying with his lip ring. “That I…really fucking love you, babe,” he finally confesses. His expression softens, revealing all of himself to you. All of his past. All of his emotions. All of him. “I do. I always have.” You sit in shock, your brain sluggishly processing his words. “Say something,” he quietly begs. 

You exhale, pressing a hand to your forehead. “I’m sorry, I thought I passed out when I came.” Dabi scoffs and rolls his eyes at your dramatic self. “You’re so stupid,” he snorts. “And adorable.” He moves closer to you and presses a hand to your cheek, wanting to look at you always. “Tell me again.” 

You are helpless to deny him, especially under his touch. “I love you too, Dabi,” you whisper. He leans in and presses a deep, passionate kiss to your lips that steals your breath away and renders you speechless. “Again,” he murmurs. 

“I love you.” The words sound so natural to you now. He moans into the kiss and his body relaxes under your roaming hands as if he has finally be freed. He kisses you deep, slow, and sloppily, sliding his tongue along yours. “Again.” He growls it as his teeth nibble on your bottom lip, gently popping it back into place before pressing his lips to your neck. 

“I…oh, fuck, I love you so much.” The words are exhaled in a rush as your head tilts back, allowing him to press more kisses to your skin. He smiles against your skin, pulling away to give you a view of that glint in his eye. “Yeah?” he teasingly whispers. “You love me? What else do you love about me, baby?” 

Your eyes fall down to where the duvet is covering his lower half. You smile up at him, staring up at him through your lashes. “Whip it out and I’ll show you,” you purr. Dabi does exactly that, drawing the duvet down to reveal his toned stomach etched in scars and tattoos, muscular thighs, and a big, throbbing cock curved so it leans over towards you as if it is desperate for your holes. 

No matter how many times you’ve seen this cock, you always react the same way: in astonishment and awe. Mostly because this beautiful piece of work is yours to suck, fuck, and stroke as much as you want. Dabi bites his lip in anticipation as he watches you admire his appendage, letting his hands lazily fall at his sides. “Well? You just gonna stare or are you gonna do what you were plannin’ on?” 

You don’t need to be told twice. After squirting some lube in your hands and warming the substance up in your hands, you begin to stroke Dabi’s cock in your soft, smaller hands. You watch his face as you do it, loving how his eyes roll to his skull and his head tilts back in pleasure. “Ah,” he sighs, the sound leaving his body as if trapped there for ages. 

He grows harder in your hands like magic, his cum-filled balls dangling prettily for you. Desperate, you attach your lips to his cockhead and lightly suck on it, twirling your tongue around every sensitive part of him, including his piercing. “Shit,” he hisses through his white teeth, watching you through blue slits for his eyes. 

You take him deeper into your wet mouth, the taste of artificial cherries and him popping onto your tongue as you do. You stare deep into his eyes as you suck on his cock, bobbing your head up and down and breathing through your nose as you do.

He never takes his eyes off of you even though you can see that the pleasure is too good. One of his hands laces through your hair, gently grasping your scalp as you bob up and down on his cock, your tongue swirling along his shaft. After some more wet sucking, he slowly pulls out of your mouth, causing a line of spit to connect your bottom lip to his head.

“Open your mouth,” he demands. You do so, shivering in delight at the demanding, low tone of his voice. 

He leans down to give you a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss, no matter the fact that his dick was just in your mouth, and then spits a wallop of his saliva onto your tongue. “Now spit on it.”

You do so, spitting everything he just gave you back onto his cock, making it nice, sloppy, and wet. Seeing his cock dripping in saliva and lube makes your pussy gush between your soft, juicy thighs. You can’t resist going back for seconds and Dabi welcomes it. 

His groans and guttural growls are delicious to your eardrums. You relish each one as you turn tricks with your mouth, swirling your tongue around his shaft before taking him deep into your throat. You go slow, letting your throat stretch around his thick cock, expanding it by opening it further on a fake yawn.

“Fuck, V, you’re so good at that, baby,” Dabi groans, gripping your hair for dear life. “God, this mouth is so fuckin’ tight!” 

You stare up into his eyes as he begins to slowly fuck your throat, filling the tight, wet space over and over again, bit by bit, inch by inch. “That’s a cute lil’ face on ya, baby V,” he chuckles, staring down at you in utter adoration. “You like suckin’ on this big cock, don’t you? It’s just what you needed to ring in the new year right, hm?” 

You can only gag in response, all words ceasing to exist. You can’t even think about anything other than his cock as his thrusts grow rougher and more intense, his pelvis flush against your lips. He inhales a sharp intake of breath as if the pleasure is painful and too much to handle. “That’s it, take it,” he encouragingly hisses. “Fuckin’ take that shit. Good girl.” 

He uses your throat like it’s a toy and you welcome all of it, sneaking your fingers down between your thighs to frantically rub at your clit. At the feeling of your throat flexing around him, Dabi grins, his face flushed and his eyes hooded. “So you want my cum, hm?” he asks, trailing a hand over your cheek. He pulls his cock out of your mouth, groaning when the wet tip lightly slaps you against the mouth and bobs against his lower stomach. 

“Where do you want it, doll?” he whispers. “In you? On you? Whatever you want, just tell me.” He taps his cock against your lips, coaxing you to open up so he can rub the head along your tongue. The lewd act draws a moan out of both of you, anticipating more. 

The promise of getting his cum, wherever, however, is enough to make you cream on the spot. “Anywhere,” you whimper. “I just want you to fuck me.”

Dabi grips your chin and tilts it up to give you a wet kiss on your lips, the both of you sharing each other’s tastes. Dabi just loves the taste of his cock on your tongue. It makes a primal fire explode inside of him. One that can only be snuffed out by stuffing his cock inside of you and making you his for good. 

And finally, he does. When you’re on your back and he is mounting you like he owns you, bending your knees so his hips are flush against yours, drilling his cock in and out of your wet heat, you both are conscious of the fact that he has never fucked you like this: so deep, so rough, and so wanton. Mating press is something Dabi has always wanted to do and you, panting and moaning underneath him, are inclined to have him do it every single time you’re together. 

You grip his forearms for dear life, sinking your glittery, purple fingernails into his skin as he pounds your cunt into the bed. The bedsprings sing underneath your bodies, creaking and bouncing in time with Dabi’s pistoned thrusts. With every second, his cock sinks deeper into you, his pelvis thumping against your clit and making pleasure crackle throughout your veins. 

“God, Dabi!” you wail. “Baby, w-wait! You have to–” 

“Slow down?” he chuckles. He hovers above you, his handsome face flushed and his blue eyes hooded with lust. “Not a fuckin’ chance, doll. M’sorry, but ya just look too goddamn cute takin’ that dick for me.” He takes your hands and pins them above your head, holding you down as he gives you his dick over and over and over again, drilling that spot that makes your mouth fall agape and your brain turn to mush. 

Dabi is loving every second of this shit. Seeing your face contort in ecstasy and hearing all of those pretty sounds escape your mouth are better than morning coffee to him. “Is this what you needed? Hm, some nice cock from your boyfriend to perk ya up? A deep dickin’ down to ring in the new year?” 

The squelching sounds of his cock stroking your wet walls mix with your joint moans and the bedsprings, creating a symphony of sex. “Yes!” you sob. Then again, like a mantra, as Dabi pounds your pussy into the mattress like a jackhammer: “Yes, yes, yes!”

That is all you can think of as Dabi takes you on a ride to Pleasureville right next to Pound Town, helping your body reach heights of pleasure that should be illegal. 

“C-Can’t…can’t f-fuck…oh, God, Dabi,” you pant. Your words are a jumbled, babbling mess as you bounce on his dick, your gorgeous tits jiggling in time with his thrusts.

He takes one hand off of your wrist, pining them down with one hand instead, and uses his free hand to swirl this thumb over your lips. You instinctively open your mouth to suck on his thumb, much to his enjoyment. 

“Shhh, just shut up, doll,” he coos. “Pretty dolls don’t talk…god, this pussy is fuckin’ good.” He hisses in pleasure as your cunt flexes and pulses around him, pulling him in deeper and deeper until you both have no choice in the matter of cumming anymore. “I can tell you’re close,” he groans. “You wanna cum for me, baby? You wanna cum all over this dick?” 

He takes his thumb out of your mouth, wanting to hear you say those pretty words to him. “Yes,” you whimper. “Yes, please.” You can’t take anymore. Your pussy is on the ledge, threatening to jump into a sea of euphoria. 

He then leans down so his nose is centimeters away from yours, his breath fanning your face as his cock sinks deeper inside of you. “Then you’d better tell me somethin’ first,” he growls. “Tell me that this pussy is mine. Say it out of your mouth.” His thrusts grow slow but are still deep and hard, drawing loud moans out of you and plap-plap-plaps from his thighs hitting yours. 

“C’mon, sugar, is it mine?” he teases. “Say it’s mine and I’ll let ya cum. C’mon, open that pretty mouth up and tell me.” He grins wickedly, knowing that you will do anything to cum. His body shivers in anticipation of hearing those words. Those words that will be the end for him and no doubt make him bust deep inside of your pussy, possibly breeding you and locking you down for good.

“It’s yours!” you wail. “It’s all yours, Daddy! This pussy is always yours!” And you mean it. No man could ever make your pussy; your body; your heart; your soul feel this good. You want to be his. You want him to take you and make it so you can never look at another man the same way you look at him. 

The smile that crosses Dabi’s lips is full of joy. It’s a beautiful look on him. “And this cock is yours, whenever and however you want it. Now are you gonna cum for me like a good slut?” He pauses, wrapping a hand around your throat and squeezing, making that pretty mouth turn into an O as you gasp. “Like my good slut?” he whispers. 

“Y-Yes!” you moan out. “Yes, Touya, please! Make me cum with you!” At the mention of his birth name dripping from your honeyed lips, something snaps in Dabi and his body becomes a machine, his hips thrusting on their own. His movements draw loud moans, gasps, and sobs out of you and loud grunts out of him that grow desperate and needy the harder he goes. 

“Gonna fill my baby up,” he gasps. “Gonna give this pussy a creampie it’ll never fuckin’ forget!” 

‘Do it!’ you think in your blanked-out mind. ‘Give it to me! Fill me up!’ 

And then all thoughts cease to exist as your second orgasm washes over you, making your cunt squeeze around Dabi as you cum. A long moan escapes your lips as your eyes flutter closed and your back arches, all of your senses sharpened as your orgasm rocks your world. Your beautiful reaction triggers Dabi’s own orgasm and with a guttural moan, he cums with you. A stream of his spunk escapes his balls and enters you, flooding your pussy with as much as he can give you. 

Dabi leans down to swoop you up in a heated, sloppy, passionate kiss as he continues to rut into you, helping you ride out your orgasm while he chases the lingering high of his, his hips rolling against yours. You widen your legs more, wanting him closer than two people could be. You gasp as his cum floods you, warm and wet and…cozy. It gives you a tingling sensation that makes you feel right…like this was supposed to happen. 

Finally exhausted, Dabi pauses his thrusts and pulls his lips away from you before leaning up to assess the “damage” he did to you. You lay there, panting and sweaty, your hair a wreck, and your skin aglow. When he pulls out, slow and steady, his cum drips out of you, sticking to your thighs and staining the bed. “Now would you look at that,” he tuts. “Dirty girl. Now I’m gon’ have to clean ya up.” 

Without another word, he ducks between your thighs to slurp his and your cum mixture out of you, gently lapping at your pussy. “Ha,” you gasp, twitching at the tiny pulses that enter your muscles as his tongue drenches your overly-sensitive cunt. “I-I need to clean you up too, babe.” 

Smirking at you, he sits up and leans back, letting you slurp your juices off of his cock. Your tongue is loving and your sucking is greedy, needing to taste every bit of you off of him. “Good girl,” he coos, winding his hands in your hair. “I love you so much.” Hearing those words makes feel high, your body feeling light as a feather. 

Finally, you two lay together in the afterglow and the morning sun drenching your bedspread, legs intertwined and your head on his chest. “Well, now you’re stuck with me, it seems,” Dabi chuckles. “I hope you’re okay with that.” His hand runs from your ass up your spine, tracing shapes along your skin. 

You nuzzle into his chest, breathing in his intoxicating musk. “Oh, I’m more than okay with it,” you sigh. “That was absolutely amazing. I love sex with you.” You tilt your head up to press a kiss to his cheek. “And I love you,” you whisper into his ear. 

You feel him smile against your lips and he turns his head down to press a kiss to your lips. “I love you too, doll.” You smile, closing your eyes and falling back into his chest, into his arms, wanting so much to spend the day like this. 

“And I love your shower,” he whispers, making you guffaw into his chest. For the rest of the morning of the new year, you and Dabi spend it together with a hot shower, some piping coffee with eggs, and then a marathon of trash TV on your couch. And it’s perfect. 

THE END.

[deathricedrawn]

big wide open galaxy

here's my thought process on this drawing... i wrote this in google docs... I hope this is coherent lol:

I am very normal about Andromeda (the song, the constellation, the galaxy, the myth…), if you haven’t noticed already. My love for Andromeda is why I’m doing a bachelor in physics and astronomy (my course is kicking my ass but we stay balling)

I think Andromeda as a concept fits Anya very well. As the myth, Andromeda is chained to a rock as a sacrifice to save her parents’ kingdom. However, it is Perseus who comes along and unchains Andromeda and takes her as his wife. A common critique of the myth is that it’s very much centered around the male gaze: Andromeda is basically a submissive trophy wife for Perseus as a symbol of his bravery. Really, Andromeda has no say in the matter. I feel like there’s a lot of ways you can tie this to Jimmy and Anya, though I’m struggling to come up with the words for it.

Later on, Andromeda is put into the stars as the constellation by Athena. There’s a lot of different reasons as to why this is, but a commonly accepted one is that it’s to commemorate Perseus’s brave deeds. Once again, Andromeda is reduced to Perseus’s acts, even in her death/eternal life in the stars. This, I feel, is fitting: Anya died as a result of what Jimmy did to her. Her death is, in part, defined by Jimmy, similar to how Andromeda is defined by Perseus. Aside from that, just like Andromeda, once Anya dies, she too is put into the stars but in a much more literal sense. Her final resting place is literally in space. 

This also ties in as to why I think Andromeda (the galaxy) fits Anya. Currently, the Andromeda Galaxy is set to collide with our Milky Way Galaxy in 4-5 billion years. This can be tied to the crashing of the Tulpar, but, obviously, in a much smaller time frame. Jimmy’s reason for crashing the Tulpar is, ultimately, because of Anya. He feared the repercussions of what he did to Anya once they returned home, so he chose to crash the ship and take everyone else on board down with him.

A deeper dive into my art: Anya’s pose is reminiscent of the pose the Andromeda constellation is in. Furthermore, she’s held by the wrists and ankles with red chains that resemble the centipede version of Polle. This aspect is meant to touch on the idea of Andromeda being dubbed ‘The Chained Woman’, but also as to why she (Anya, in this case) feels tied down. She feels chained by what Jimmy did to her, what she’s forced to live with, and the fact she can’t feasibly escape through any means other than death. She’s chained by her pregnancy too, which explains the Polle motif.

I depicted her skin as pale and glowing. This is to mimic the brightness of a star (tying her to both the Andromeda constellation and Galaxy). Her expression is mostly neutral, though it bears traces of sadness and acceptance (you can make of that what you wish). In the background, the space is filled with eyeballs reminiscent of Curly’s. These are meant to be stand-ins for space debris, or planets. It’s meant to represent how Curly, even as she neared death, was a big part of Anya’s life on the Tulpar. She took care of him after the crash and she died next to him. The space background behind her was also meant to be similar to a womb with Anya taking the place of a fetus, next to just being there for framing and contrast purposes.

[lanafofana]

To soothe, Ignites

It's been three days since i had this thought hit my brain like a freight train and ive been chewing on it ever since in a google doc and anyway here you go

Pairing: Halsin x (female) Tav

Warning: the weight of burgeoning, unresolved tension

Summary: It's just a nice friendly, platonic massage, what's the worst that could happen?

Rating: M just to be safe. Nothing really overly explicit

Halsin rubs the back of his neck and leans back a little, stretching, a faint frown on his weathered face. Across the camp, Tav watches discreetly over the edge of her book. It’s not the first time she’s witnessed him absently soothing an ache at the end of the day. 

It occurs to her that, for being such a large man, he must get quite the cramp in his neck from always having to bow his head to talk to her and her companions. Someone calls to her and she turns away, distracted from the vein of thought. 

It isn’t until later, after they’ve eaten their dinner and people have started to drift back to their own tents, she picks up the thread again. First watch is barely a chore at all with how her mind, resistant to settling down for the evening, spins through a dizzying whirl of thoughts. 

Generally she stokes the fire with naught but a book for company, occasionally walking the perimeter of camp and puzzling on the mystery of the Absolute. Tonight though, the cult is a distant problem, distant as their destination in Baldur’s Gate anyway. With Ketheric defeated and another long stretch to their journey waiting for morning to begin she finds her mind wandering to topics much closer at hand. 

The elf was a powerful druid. His command of the druidic arts was a sight to behold though she only caught glimpses of it during the assault on Moonrise. Of course, she vividly remembers the warmth of his healing magic mending her seconds after an arrow had caught her between the ribs. It had been quick. The pain had torn through her concentration like a blaze of hellfire. She had crashed to her knees, the taste of iron and mortality on her tongue, her vision blurring with shadows. She’d barely had time to suck in a wet sounding wheeze when his hands had been on her, nature’s divine magic enveloping her entirely. 

“You’re all right, lass,” he’d said firmly, as if so secure in the inevitability of her being alright that he would brook no argument on the matter. From her or her fatal injury. The pain had reduced to a manageable ache and she’d sucked in a lungful of air greedily, hardly aware of it when he’d dragged her back to her feet. Until she’d seen the bugbear running up behind him, bloody axe raised high, and then she’d shoved him away and instantly thrown herself back into the fray of violence. 

The archdruid had proven himself more than just a valuable ally, but a good companion too. Perhaps even a friend. He’d always been polite and sincere, if a little distant. More attentive to his god, paying an impressive amount of time dedicated to his prayers and meditations rather than the camaraderie and dramas of their little camp. Still, even if he did not seek out her or anyone else’s companionship he was always willing to sit with her during her watch when she sought out his. Putting down his book or whatever he was doing with that scrap of wood he was always carrying and putting the full weight of his attention and focus on her entirely. 

Since reuniting the two halves of Thaniel’s spirit it seemed to Tav that Halsin also seemed more whole. As if a missing piece of his own spirit had finally slotted back into place. His smiles seemed warmer and his attention more focused outward than in. 

As if summoned by the force of her thoughts, Tav caught movement from the corner of her eye and was surprised to see the druid himself emerge from the gloom of the forest. He was on his way to his own tent but paused when he saw her in the glow of the campfire. 

“Good evening,” he greets, approaching. He’s doffed his shirt, a common habit of his in the evening but the glow of the fire gives the planes of his chest an otherworldly glow. 

Tav feels the corners of her smile lift, the clattering of her thoughts stilling. “That it is,” she agrees. “For once.”

With the shadow curse lifted she can finally spy the twinkling of stars between the boughs of the trees. When a breeze flutters through camp it feels like fresh air being breathed into the land instead of a death rattle come to herald some horrific doom. 

Halsin, following her gaze to the sky, smiles and nods in assent. “And for many more nights to come, I believe.” 

Lost in thought he doesn’t feel her gaze as she takes the opportunity to openly study him. He looks well, not relaxed per say, but a little stiff. Absentmindedly the druid raises a hand and rubs at his neck, cocking his head as if to relieve a persistent ache and Tav comes to a sudden decision.

“Come. Sit,” she gestures to the space before her by the fire. Halsin gives her a quizzical smile, his brows furrowed. “You’ve been worrying that neck of yours like a dog with a bone, let me help.”   

“It is nothing to be concerned about,” he tries to defer but Tav is adamant. 

“Nonsense. Can’t have my favorite archdruid suffering,” she teases. “Not when I have the means to alleviate it very easily. Come.” She reaches down from her perch on the log they’ve been using as seating and pats the ground between her feet expectantly. “Allow me.”  

Hesitating for the span of a breath Halsin relents, sitting himself before her. At her feet he spies a book and picks it up curiously. “A travel guide?” 

Tav hums and widens the gap between her knees, gently guiding him closer for a better reach. Despite the cooling autumn night air his bare skin radiates heat and she tries not to think too much about any other circumstances where her legs might bracket his body so close to hers. Or of his proximity to her own budding source of heat. Swallowing, mouth suddenly very dry, Tav refocuses on the task at hand. “Would you like to read it? Probably not much new information for you but the author’s particular, ah, outlook is quite something. An entertaining read if not a wholly informative one.” 

Halsin chuckles, opening and scanning the text. “Thank you, I’ve found my own reading material quite exhausted of late.” 

Brushing his tawny hair off his shoulders, Tav tsk’s with mock reproach. “You should have said, I’ve quite the collection now. When you’ve finished with that one, let me know.”

“You are incredibly generous,” Halsin murmurs but it’s so low she can’t be sure if she was meant to hear it. 

At first it feels clumsy as she maps out the expanse of his wide shoulders. In truth, it’s been a very long time since she’s done anything like this for someone but, much like picking up the sword again after a decade or so of neglecting the craft, her hands seem to know their way around better than her mind. With dextrous skill she gets to work, alternating between using her thumbs and the heel of her palms to glide over thick muscle, coaxing each gnarl to release. 

The camp is quiet, the rest of her companions lost to slumber, and she quickly loses herself to the lull of the crackling fire and the delicate flutter of turning pages as Halsin reads. They don’t speak but the silence is comfortable, easy. 

With each rigid cord of muscle she rubs into submission the druid relaxes a little more, the occasional sigh reaching her ears that makes her smile with smug triumph. When she finds a particularly persistent knot she increases the pressure of her stroke eliciting a grunt. 

“Gods, sorry,” she murmurs hastily, easing her touch to rest lightly against his warm skin, feeling her cheeks flush with chagrin at her over enthusiasm. Halsin merely shakes his head. He turns his face to eye her with a gentle smile, the hazel of his eyes dark against the backdrop of the firelight.

“Nothing to apologize for,” he assures her softly. “I am quite unharmed. Continue if you wish.” 

Trusting he’s not merely humoring her she resumes her ministrations with more care. She devotes her attention to increasing the pressure when necessary with exacting precision. Working her way across his shoulders until she comes to the tight line of muscles branching up his neck. Each stroke is steady and firm. 

Between the monotony of the movements and the intensity of her focus it’s some time before she realizes he hasn’t turned a page in a while. His shoulders are lax and when she strokes a thumb up the nape of his neck he leans into it, only slightly, as if unconsciously. 

Tav is not unaware of the intimacy of the moment. She’d put her own lustful thoughts in a box and buried it deep in the back of her mind since his gentle rebuffment of her clumsy advances at the tiefling party. An entire age ago from this moment, but it springs open now. 

With a detached sort of curiosity, as if she is watching her hands from outside herself she runs deft fingers through his hair and scratches at the delicate skin at the base of his scalp. He shivers and releases a sound that is more akin to a sensation rumbling up from his chest and buzzing along her fingertips like electricity. It feels like crossing an invisible line. 

The druid and the ranger still, as if both caught together in a web they don’t quite know how to navigate. He doesn’t move away and, pulse suddenly hammering in her throat, Tav rests her hands on the top of his shoulders gently. She drags the pads of her fingers down his back, skimming the warmth of his body and he exhales heavily, a sound that travels up Tav’s spine with expectation. An ache begins to bloom inside her core, a greedy hunger that flexes and curls under her skin with intoxicating heat and intent. 

“My my, isn’t this cozy?” 

The dulcet tone of Astarion’s voice breaks the delicate thread of something that had risen up between them like the sharp crack of a snapping live wire and Tav jerks her hands away guiltily, embarrassment drowning out the previous brief flickerings of passion. 

“Astarion,” she greets and hopes he doesn’t pick up on the breathless waver in her tone. No such luck, his red eyes practically gleam in the dim evening light as he takes them in by the fire. She clears her throat, her scattering thoughts tangling in on themselves while she looks for solid ground. “What are you–”

“Second watch, darling.” The vampire’s expression is too sharp, too knowing. “Off to bed you pop. Our fearless leader should be well rested for the journey ahead.” 

Halsin stirs from his place on the ground, shifting and rising as if lumbering out of a trance. “Of course,” he says and offers his hand to pull her up from the log. “It’s later than I realized. Forgive me.” 

Whatever spell had enthralled them is broken and the look in his eye is friendly, polite. It burns more than the embarrassment had. Her hand is still in his and she withdraws it, feeling uncertain of her footing and hating it. 

“Gentlemen.” She feels like she’s still mentally gathering the parts of her that had spilled out and stuffing it all inside a deep dark hole inside herself. An easier task if she also didn’t feel like instead of flesh, her entire person was made of sticky goop. “See you in the morning.” 

“Sweet dreams, dear,” Astarion calls out to her, something in his dark voice suggestive. She raises a hand without looking back and beats a hasty retreat. 

The air is cold now, especially away from the fire. Curling up in her little makeshift tent, Tav does little to resist the memory of being wrapped in the warm glow of the druid’s body heat. She stares at the ceiling of her little world and wonders what the hell was that. 

[carryonthroughtheages]

Important COTTA Announcement

Hello Friends and History Lovers. 

I’ve been procrastinating making this announcement for the last couple of months, mostly trying to convince myself that I need not make it. I've actually had this sitting in my Google Docs, waiting for the right time to break the news.

However, as we are now in May, and time is coming where normally I’d make the official COTTA announcement. I can’t put it off anymore. Besides, there is no right time to break the news.

After four amazing years, I am saying goodbye to Carry On Through The Ages. As much as I have loved and enjoyed spreading the love of history and plugging our Carry On characters into different historical periods, I find I no longer have the time nor the mental spoons to take on another year of COTTA by myself. 

I am not completely gone from the Carry On fandom. I am still hanging out in the periphery of the fandom, but there are other things in my personal and fandom life that I am very excited for. And when push comes to shove, I had to let go of something, otherwise I’d crash and burn. As much as it hurts, I’ve decided that COTTA had to be it. 

What does this mean?

Well, I won’t be deleting the tumblr, first of all. There are reblogged stories and art that exist there. 

I won’t be deleting the Discord server for COTTA. There were some amazing discussions and research done within the channels, that I can’t find it in myself to erase them. I encourage people to still use it for history talk and nerdery, even though COTTA is done. 

The AO3 collection will not be deleted, so don’t worry about your fics and art disappearing. 

It’s been an amazing past four years, and while we were a small event, we were a dedicated group of nerds who loved history so much and wanted to share that with the rest of the fandom. From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every person who has shown support for COTTA. Whether by reblogging announcements, signing up and participating in the fest, or providing support for fellow writers and artists, you have all meant so much to me. 

Thank you. 

BazzyBelle

[cloudzzcore]

Ambrosius x Mr. Wolf

—

Ambrosius is my oc! I just felt writing something for them.

Here’s Ambrosius Google Doc if you’re curious!! Doc

Playlist!!

Ambrosius was cleaning the windows of his bakery, The Ruby Rose, it was his sanctuary and a nice little place. He was lucky enough to even be able to buy especially after the guardianship trying to bar him from even moving away from Italy. The bakery was on the top of a hill, on a corner making it stick out to the eyes of people who would pass or if he

God that whole week was stressful yet it didn’t really matter to him anymore. The Arctic fox was so focused on the windows—Or his thoughts—to hear the sound of a car chase behind him or for the better term approaching him.

The engine roared as Mr. Wolf pressed down hard on the gas pedal, the car tearing through the streets with the police hot on their tail. His focus was split between navigating the twists and turns of the chase and listening to the chaos from the backseat.

Mr. Shark, Mr. Piranha, Mr. Snake, and Ms. Tarantula were all engaged in their usual banter, each one offering ideas on how to lose the cops. It was a typical day for the Bad Guys, but Mr. Wolf knew they needed to find a way out of this fast.

"We gotta shake these guys, Wolf!" Ms. Tarantula shouted from the back, her many legs busy typing furiously on her laptop.

Mr. Snake slithered across the dashboard, his eyes scanning the road ahead. "Take the next right! It'll lead us to a dead end, but we can double back through the alley."

"Or we could try to blend in," Mr. Shark suggested in his deep voice, clearly nervous as he peered out the back window. "Maybe a disguise?"

"Not the time, Shark!" Mr. Piranha snapped, hanging halfway out the window, firing a makeshift slingshot at the police cars behind them. "Just get us outta here, Wolf!"

Mr. Wolf gripped the steering wheel tightly, eyes narrowing as he scanned the road ahead. They were coming up on a sharp corner—a perfect opportunity to outmaneuver the cops. He was about to take the turn when—

"Wolf! Watch out!" Mr. Shark suddenly bellowed.

Mr. Wolf's eyes widened as he noticed an Arctic fox, standing right in their path, reaching for a bucket of cleaning supplies. Time seemed to slow down for a split second as he and the fox locked eyes—those wide, startled blue eyes meeting his—and in that instant, he could see the life-or-death stakes of what was about to happen.

He yanked the wheel to the side with all his strength, swerving the car just in time to avoid the fox. The tires screeched, the car tilted dangerously, but somehow, miraculously, they didn’t crash. The car missed the fox by inches, but the force of the near-miss sent the fox stumbling back, pressing himself against the wall of the bakery.

"Hang on!" Mr. Wolf growled through gritted teeth as he struggled to regain control, the car skidding but ultimately straightening out as they sped past the bakery.

Ambrosius, the Arctic fox, was left breathless, heart pounding as he watched the car roar away down the hill. He was pressed against the wall, bucket forgotten, his mind reeling from how close he had come to being run over. But more than that, the brief but intense eye contact with the driver left him stunned, something in those amber eyes striking a chord within him.

Inside the car, Mr. Piranha laughed, though it was more nervous than anything. "Whooo! That was close! You okay, Wolf?"

Mr. Wolf nodded, still shaken from the close call. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Just keep an eye out for any more surprises."

Ms. Tarantula shot a quick glance back at the bakery they had just narrowly avoided. "Did anyone else see that guy? He looked like he was about to have a heart attack."

Mr. Snake hissed quietly, his usual calm demeanor returning. "Let's just focus on not getting caught. We’ll worry about that later."

As they sped away, Mr. Wolf couldn’t shake the image of those heterochomic eyes from his mind, nor the sudden, unexplainable feeling of guilt gnawing at him. It wasn’t often that a simple chase would leave him rattled, but something about that fox had gotten under his skin. He pushed the thought aside for now; they had bigger problems to deal with.

But as they disappeared around the corner, Ambrosius slowly slid down the wall, his heart still pounding in his chest, unsure of why the encounter had left him feeling so shaken.

Ambrosius just sat there wrapping his arms around himself as a cop car stopped next to him and an officer stumbled out, Officer Jackson Foxington got out. He was his brother in law and governor’s older brother. He was a good man just with some social anxiety and some stage fright.

“Ambrosius! Holy shit.. a-are you okay?” Jackson's voice was filled with worry, his eyes scanning Ambrosius for any signs of injury.

Ambrosius, overwhelmed by the recent encounter and his own mounting stress, buried his face in his hands, groaning loudly. "I—I’m fine, Jackson. Just... just a bit shaken."

Jackson, though visibly anxious himself, stepped closer, his social anxiety momentarily forgotten in the face of his brother-in-law’s distress. “I can completely understand that.” He offered a reassuring smile, attempting to ease Ambrosius’s fear.

Jackson gently opened the bakery door and motioned for Ambrosius to come inside. “Let’s get you out of the cold. Come on in. We’ll get you sorted and make sure everything’s alright.”

Ambrosius, still feeling a bit disoriented, slowly got to his feet and followed Jackson into the bakery. The warmth of the interior was a stark contrast to the chill outside, and the familiar scent of freshly baked goods was oddly comforting.

Jackson closed the door behind them, the sound of the sirens outside gradually fading. He led Ambrosius to a small table and gestured for him to sit down. “Here, sit. I’ll get you something to drink. You look like you could use it.”

Ambrosius sat down, the adrenaline of the chase slowly giving way to exhaustion. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to shake off the lingering fear from the encounter. “Thanks, Jackson. I just—didn’t expect that. They almost hit me.”

Jackson, busy preparing a pot of coffee, glanced over with a sympathetic look. “I’m glad you’re okay. Those guys can be real trouble. I’ll make sure to put out an alert for them.”

As Jackson poured the coffee, Ambrosius took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. The anxiety was beginning to recede, replaced by a deep sense of gratitude for Jackson's presence. “I appreciate it. I guess today’s been more eventful than I planned.”

Jackson nodded, placing a cup of coffee in front of Ambrosius and taking a seat opposite him. “Yeah, I’d say so. If there’s anything else I can do, just let me know. And remember, you don’t have to face these kinds of things alone.”

Ambrosius managed a small smile, taking a sip of the hot coffee. “Thanks, Jackson. It means a lot.”

As they sat there, the tension from the day’s events slowly started to dissipate, replaced by a quiet, comforting companionship. The bakery, though still filled with the remnants of a stressful day, now held a sense of calm that Ambrosius desperately needed.

—

I might make a pt 2 but idk today was my first day of school tho.. BUT, Im also working on requests which is actually taking me a bit so expect some more works soon!

[davidchiemcore]

transcript for DRDT Prologue Episode One! going to make this a series where i (hopefully) write down all the dialogue for drdt, if i dont get burnt out. at the end, ill post a google doc with them all together

???: ……

???: Fuck!!

???: Fuck, fuck, fuck, this really hurts…

???: Ouch, I really wasn’t expecting her to attack me like that.

???: I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can’t rely on anyone.

???: All by myself, I have to end the killing game.

???: And even if I can’t do that…

???: I have to kill Teruko Tawaki.

???: No matter what.

Prologue: Distrust and Despair

Teruko: …I had a weird dream.

Teruko: Huh? Where am I?

Teruko: When I opened my eyes, I found myself resting on a bed in an unfamiliar place.

Teruko: This looks like some sort of hotel room.

Teruko: Wait, how did I even get here? I have no recollection of coming here.

Teruko: The last thing I remember was–

Teruko: Ah! I was going to the entrance ceremony of Hope’s Peak Academy!

Teruko: But this doesn’t look like Hope’s Peak at all, much less any sort of school. Just what is going on?

Teruko: …

Teruko: No use staying here, I suppose. I think it would be best if I left this room and tried to find out more about this place.

Teruko: I stepped out of the room and found myself in a hall with 15 other doors exactly like the one I left.

Teruko: Do all these doors lead to rooms like the one I just left?

Teruko: They all have nameplates on them. The one I came out of has my name.

Teruko: Teruko Tawaki… That’s me.

Teruko: I don’t recognize any of these other names, though.

Teruko: I tried each door. They were all locked. Seems I’m also locked out of the room I just left.

Teruko: No good, I guess.

Teruko: I should keep exploring.

Teruko: AH!!

Teruko: I walked to the end of the hallway and rounded the corner, when suddenly–

Xander: AUGH!!

Teruko: *CRASH*

Teruko: I crashed into another person pretty roughly, knocking us both to the ground.

Teruko: O–ouch! That really hurt…

Xander: …

Teruko: Are you alright? Sorry for knocking you over like that.

Xander: …

Teruko: Ah-! You’re bleeding! Are you okay?

Xander: Oh. Yup. I’m fine…

Xander: Heh heh……

Teruko: E–eh??

Teruko: All of a sudden, he collapsed.

Teruko: Um–Hello??

Teruko: No use… He’s unconscious.

Teruko: …

Teruko: I can’t believe I accidentally knocked someone unconscious within minutes of being awake. I feel bad…

Teruko: I should find something to treat him with. Maybe there’s a medical room around here.

Teruko: After a little bit of searching, I stumbled upon what looked to be an infirmary.

Teruko: Let’s see. There’s bandages, gauze, various medicines–perhaps some ibuprofen?

Xander: Yeah, that would sound pretty nice.

Teruko: Alright, I see–

Teruko: Wha–AH!

Xander: Oh, sorry, did I scare you? I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that, really!

Teruko: Y-you! Were you just pretending to be unconscious??

Xander: Err, no. You did actually knock me unconscious. Well, I’m fine now.

Teruko: Oh. And, your eye…

Xander: Like I said, I’m fine now. Don’t worry about it.

Teruko: Are you sure? You were bleeding; that doesn’t seem like an injury to brush off.

Xander: Like I said!! Totally fine! I’m a tough guy, I can handle it.

Teruko: I’m still really sorry, uhm… uh, what’s your name?

Xander: Oh! Ack, how rude of me! I forgot to introduce myself. I’m making a terrible first impression.

Xander: Alriiight! The name’s Alexander Matthews. But you can just call me Xander, it’s much cooler sounding. I’m the Ultimate Rebel, nice to meet you!

Ultimate Rebel - Xander Matthews

Teruko: Ultimate?

Xander: You must have heard of Hope’s Peak Academy, right? An exclusive school that only accepts students, known as Ultimates, who possess extraordinary talents.

Xander: It just so happens that I’ve been accepted there! Pretty incredible, huh?

Teruko: Ah,you’re a freshman of Hope’s Peak? I am too. We might be classmates.

Teruko: I should introduce myself as well. I am Teruko Tawaki, the Ultimate Lucky Student.

Ultimate Lucky Student - Teruko Tawaki

Xander: So you’re the Lucky Student, huh, Ms. Teruko? You’re the one who’s got accepted by the lottery.

Teruko: Oh, right. That’s correct.

Teruko: Unlike the rest of the students of Hope’s Peak, my talent of luck is a little unconventional, so I hope you won’t find it too strange.

Xander: Strange? Why would I find it strange?

Xander: Everyone who’s got accepted into Hope’s Peak is given an incredible opportunity to build their own skills and talents so that they can later shape the world!

Xander: Even if you were selected by lottery, not scouted like normal students, you still have got just as much potential as every other Ultimate to develop into an even more amazing person!

Xander: As you know, everyone who graduates from Hope’s Peak goes on to become incredibly influential and important. That’s why being an Ultimate, no matter what kind, is a huge deal!

Teruko: I’m well aware of that. It’s just that… for me, it’s more than just lacking a talent.

Teruko: I’m cursed, you see.

Xander: …Cursed?

Teruko: Cursed with horrible luck.

Teruko: No matter what I do, I always become victim to misfortunes and accidents. I often fall or break things, or worse, injure myself. So do those around me.

Teruko: No doubt, your recent injury is probably as a result of the influence of this curse.

Xander: I see, that makes a bit of sense. It must be difficult living like that, I’m sorry to hear that.

Xander: And yet, despite that, you’ve still been selected to be the Ultimate Lucky Student. Maybe it was some twist of fate.

Xander: Even misfortune can be overcome or adapted, so I would take the fact that you’re here at this academy as a good sign! So, don’t give up hope!

Teruko: Ahaha… Aren’t you full of energy.

Teruko: By the way, just what kind of talent is “Rebel?”

Xander: Oh, are we discussing my talent now?

Xander: To be frank, I’m actually sort of pissed at the Academy for having given me this title. Calling me a “rebel” just makes me seem like some sort of unruly, lawless kid, which I am *definitely* not!

Xander: It's almost an insult to all the hard work I’ve put in throughout my life!

Teruko: Hard work put into what?

Xander: Revolution.

Xander: Simply put, I’m the sort of person who feels very strongly about everything. So whenever I see something that feels wrong to me, something unjust, I’ll do whatever I can to fix it.

Xander: For example, exposing corruption. I’ve got quite a number of corrupt government officials jailed. Society is messed up, and it’s up to me to change it.

Xander: Of course, in order to make any sort of impactful change in this world, you need to break the existing rules. That’s what got me the title of Ultimate Rebel, I suppose.

Teruko: Wow, I’m not quite sure what to think of all that.

Teruko: Or even if I can believe the things you just said.

Xander: Hey! You better not be accusing me of lying!

Teruko: But at the very least you seem to be very passionate and energetic.

Teruko: Moving on… Do you know anything about this place? I seem to have woken up here without knowing how I came here. And I was supposed to be going to the entrance ceremony of Hope’s Peak.

Xander: I was just about to ask you the same thing!

Xander: Have we both got kidnapped, or something?! If that’s the case, I’ll be pretty pissed at whoever’s responsible.

Xander: Err, sorry for getting worked up again.

Xander: But yeah, it looks like we’re in the same situation. Woke up in a mysterious room without knowing how we got here.

Teruko: What a perplexing situation…

Xander: No use just standing here. I’ve got an idea. We should look around, see if there’s an explanation somewhere. At the very least we can examine our surroundings for clues.

Teruko: Right. We may find something new.

Teruko: These large doors are conspicuous. We should check inside.

Xander: Fine by me!

Teruko: Xander kicks the door open forcefully.

Teruko: You could have just…

Teruko: Used… the… han..dle…

Teruko: Eh?

Teruko: We found ourselves in a large room full of chairs and a large, ominous screen at the back. But more importantly…

Xander: There’s other people here?!

Teruko: 14 other people stood in front of Xander and me.

David: Ah, have more people arrived?

Ace: Maybe they’re our fucking kidnappers! We should ask ‘em a few questions!

Arei: Are you two freshmen of Hope’s Peak Academy as well?

Xander: We are. Is this our class?

Whit: Whoa, new people. You guys got any idea what’s going on?

Charles: Don’t be ridiculous. I sincerely doubt that these two can bring any new information to the table on our situation.

Teruko: So, it seems our whole class is here.

Xander: Just what is going on? Have the rest of you blacked out when you were entering the Academy?

Levi: Yes, that happened to the rest of us as well. Our situation is awfully strange.

Veronika: Maybe the Academy is trying to surprise us! Wouldn’t that be fun?

Hu: If you two are in fact our classmates, why don’t you introduce yourselves?

Hu: I know this situation isn’t ideal, but at the very least we should be acquainted with each other before we try and figure out what’s going on.

Teruko: Ehm, introduce myself? In front of all of you?

Teruko: Wouldn’t it be better if I just talked to you individually?

Eden: That’s okay, then introduce yourselves to us one by one.

Charles: Excellent, another 10 minutes of time wasting. Why don’t you two take your time blabbering about insignificant things, it’s not like we’re in a potentially life-threatening situation.

Teruko: …Yeesh.

Xander: Hey!

Xander: Let’s talk to everyone together. That way we’ll both be way less nervous if we’ve got a friend by our side.

Teruko: …

Teruko: Thank you, Xander.

[vindikaetion]

Trick or treat!! 🍬🐜…🐜…🐜….

Hehe you get TREAT! :)

I've had this in my google docs for a a few months while I work on a few other projects, so thought I might share. This is for @alkalinefrog 's Spiderman AU, which you can find here! <3 (Go check it out rn the art is SO GOOD)

-

"How good are your reflexes?!" Hiccup suddenly shouted, cutting off the weird sort of stand-off between Spiderman and Hiccup's kidnapper.

The white eyes of Spiderman's mask squinted. "Superhuman?" he replied in confusion.

Okay, that somewhat alleviated some of Hiccup's concern over his absolutely batshit insane plan. Somewhat, being the key-word, because he was about to place his life in the hands of the quipping superhero who Hiccup's boss thought was a menace.

"No funny business," the man growled, tightening his fist. Hiccup let out a choked grunt as all the air in his lungs was forcibly pushed out, but he mustered all his strength and coherency to keep his hands covering the exposed circuitry. "Unless you want to meet the pavement face-to-face."

"Counting on it," Hiccup wheezed. Before the man could have a chance to prod him, Hiccup ripped out one of the many wires that programmed the suit to keep him hanging.

If anyone were to ask after the harrowing experience, Hiccup would tell them that he had very bravely kept his voice calm and even. The truth was, the moment gravity took hold and he went plunging to the ground, Hiccup shrieked;

"You better catch me!"

A beat passed, then two. Hiccup kept his eyes shut, every inch of his body tense. It would do little to help if Spiderman was unable to catch him, but human instincts cared little for realistics.

Hiccup had one other near death experience in his life. It was the same brush with death that had claimed his leg, and it oddly felt a lot like this. Weightless, with every sense focussed and sharp. As if an eternity decided to stand still in this very moment, with the sounds of sirens and shrieks in the air. Though it lacked the sound of honking and metal crashing, it was startlingly similar.

Except this time, instead of a solid impact sending his world into utter darkness, a firm yet soft body collided into his.

Hiccup's stomach lurched as the world suddenly swooped, forcing another shriek past his lips. Arms tightened around him.

Someone laughed beside his ear. "You're seriously crazy, but can't say I don't respect it."

Hiccup could hear the twipping of Spiderman's webs shooting between buildings and the relief in his voice. The most prominent sound was the wind whipping past their cheeks, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes.

"Thanks," he squeaked. He chanced opening his eyes, just to let out a rather embarrassing sound. All his pride went out the window, cinging to Spiderman with as much strength as he could muster in his scrawny body, eyeing the rapidly approaching ground in alarm. "Can't say I ever want to do this again, though."

"Great!" Spiderman said joyfully. "That makes two of us."

[thestargayzingetherian]

Just to give you tumblr peeps an update on how my writing is going... and I'm afraid I have some very bad news. So for the last week, Google Docs on my computer has been UNBEARABLY laggy and constantly crashing no matter what doc I try and open, even on brand new google docs with nothing in them do I still get crashes. So this has basically caused any writing I'm doing to grind to a halt.

I do have two Catradora fics that I edited up BEFORE all this nonsense started that I'm going to post later today, but for the forseeable future that might be it unless anyone has any suggestions for how I can fix google docs. I've been trying everything in my power but nothing seems to have worked.

But yeah, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I hope you all enjoy the fics I'm gonna post later though.

[dogboyklug]

oh god, it's...

SAM & MAX: IDEA BARGAIN BIN!!

i'm turning this [partially] into an fucking ask blog baby!!!!!

now that my sam and max hc au theory dump has grown to MASSIVE PROPORTIONS, i've decided to open my inbox (or well uh, announce that my inbox is open)

but what the hell is this au/hc/theory thing even about you may ask? well there's a very very very long answer to that, and it's all contained within this google document written by yours truly! [link]

but since that doc is utterly massive, here's a quick introduction for our cast!

LUMPY!

you've probably heard of this guy. there's about a billion and one lumpy ocs out there, but this one's mine!

he's actually a lawyer by trade, with his job as a freelance policeman being a sort of side thing. you'd probably say that a lawyer also being a cop is a huge sign of corruption, and you'd probably be right, but he's not actually a cop, so it's fine.

PENTHE!

a prostitute that ended up crashing at sam and max's house after getting kicked out of their apartment for their job. has a weird sort of rivalry with max, and genuinely thinks he's hurting sam. a little bit catty, but knows when to reign things in (though they still go too far sometimes).

SAM & MAX!

there is both too little and too much to be said about my interpretations of these two.

freakanaytcha & blondie!

sam and max's two little crimes against humanoid kind. they are very small!

the geek...

resident climate change activist, probably nonbinary but has a job so they can't be bothered to think too hard about that, and hasn't talked to sam & max in... TWENTY-TWO YEARS! oops!

AAAAND THAT'S ABOUT ALL OF IT!

if you want to know about any of the other characters, you'll have to send asks in /lh

thanks for reading this far in, and cya!

[cloud-somersault]

I've been following this fic since the start, and reading each chapter. We are so incredibly lucky to be enjoying this series at all, let alone for free. I appreciate all the work you’ve put in a lot of effort to create something that brought so much joy to so many people. Thank you so much for writing and remember you don’t owe us anything because you are incredibly talented and impeccable, and this story has me in a chokehold like no other and I would be more than happy to read more about what you have planned for this series.

It's great that your fics inspire such strong emotions in people because these characters are very nuanced and have a lot of depth and reasoning behind their actions, but sometimes it seems really hard for readers to remember, before writing any critique, that we have a lot more information than the characters in the story. We can see the same event from the perspective of different characters and even hear their internal monologues. But characters are limited to what they themselves can figure out, so of course they will make mistakes and do things that don't make sense at first glance. Sorry to hear you’re dealing with some drama in the comments. Hope you’re taking care of yourself! I know that must be pretty stressful, so maybe stepping away from a series for a while and then coming back later is a good choice. Your stories are completely worth the wait. Have a nice day or night! ❤

Thank you for sticking with this fic and this AU from the start! It's almost been 2 years. Thank you for reading and enjoying. I really appreciate that!!

That's very true. We, as the readers, have SO MUCH INFORMATION compared to the characters themselves. The only person who knows more is me, the author. And, something else I think is forgotten so much in this fandom in general is that Wukong and Macaque are immortal beings. The things that hurt us physically? Do not hurt them. The things that we think are egregious and out of this world? Are not to them. They have fought monsters and all that; they don't care about a quick squabble. They also know magic. We have to put all of that into context because, yes, in the real world, their fights and everything would be seen as wrong and dangerous. To them, though? Who have seen and been through so much? They don't have that same threshold that we do. I incorporate that into my writing.

And yes, the characters will do things that don't make sense! They will do things that will make you go "Aw, hell. This is gonna blow up in his face later." That's the entire point of fiction. Is seeing these characters grow and change or even fail to grow and change in some aspects.

That's also something we need to keep in mind. These are immortal beings. It takes them more time to understand something or learn a lesson or unlearn a toxic behavior compared to mortals who only live for so long. Wukong is nearly 4,000 years old; it's gonna take some time for some lessons to stick.

But thank you very much for sharing your opinion and kindness. I am defineitely going to take a step back once the epilogue is finished. I was going to stop here, at chapter 12, but I don't want to do that for my own personal reasons. I want it to be finished and in one place so that I can read it without opening a 300 page google doc and crashing my phone. It's mostly for ease of access right now.

But thank you!! Thanks for sticking with me. If you've been here since the start, wowie, you've seen it all. Thanks for seeing it through to the end with me. 💖

[damistrolls]

A Very Long Time Ago

hellooooo

a few days ago i started a fic about nobody and maledict as kids and ive finally finished it <3

i hope u enjoy

(google doc link)

---

Thump thump thump CRASH–

Volare watched out of the corner of his eye as the white-haired troll bounded across the leafy forest floor after something, occasionally plowing into trees and then hastily scrambling back to his feet to resume the chase. He only had mild interest in the situation, too busy with his carving knife and bit of bone in his hands to pay his acquaintance too much mind. 

“Almost…!”

Volare looked over to see the troll practically launching himself off of the tree he had just collided with. 

“You’ll lose another tooth, Mith,” he warned. It would fall on deaf ears, of course. He’s never seen another troll so wild and untamed. Volare would compare him to an animal, but that would be an insult to animals. Animals aren’t depraved like he is. 

Thump thump LEAP– 

Mithyt suddenly launched himself over Volare’s legs, startling him enough to make him suddenly nick the head off of the charm he was carving. 

“Mith!” Volere gasped, scrabbling for the bit of bone that’s almost definitely lost in the leaves now. He looked sharply at the feral troll, who was crouched over something on the ground, tail swishing. “What’s wrong with you?” 

Mithyt got a better grip of whatever was in his hands, and stood up, turning to shove it in Volere’s direction. The young clown leaned back just in time to avoid kissing a huge toad. 

“Ugh, get that out of my face! You ruined my charm.”

“That?” Mithyt gestured towards the poor, beheaded squirrel charm in his hands. “It looks bad.” 

“Yeah, because you made me screw it up.” 

“No, not the headlessness, it just sucks. You’re not very good at that, are you?” 

“What do you know? You couldn’t even carve a cube if your dumb life depended on it.” 

“Well I can still tell when things look a bit shit!”

Volare held a hand out to put a barrier between himself and Mithyt’s mouth. Between him whistling his S’s and spitting his T’s, it wasn’t really something he wanted so close to his face. He’s far from a germaphobe, but that missing tooth gave Mithyt a splash zone, and he’d rather not be in it. 

“What do you want with that thing anyways?” Volare asked, gesturing towards the frog with his carving knife. “You’re always out catching things. Bugs, lizards, and other little creatures… It’s weird.” 

“What? This? I’m gonna eat it, obviously,” he replied, as though Volare should have known already. Volare grimaced. 

“That’s really gross.” 

“Well I’m gonna cook it.” 

“That’s not the point. Why can’t you be normal and go to a restaurant, or cook real food from the store?” 

“You know this is as close to the city as I go. Why would I go out there when the forest’s got everything I need?” he asked, plopping down on the ground so he could retrieve a jar from his bag and open it with one hand. He ended up holding the jar with his filthy gremlin feet while he unscrewed it, and Volare didn’t know whether to be impressed by his ingenuity, or disgusted by his… well, his everything else. 

Volare looked at the other purple for a few moments, before he got distracted by his mutilated charm again, looking down and turning it over in his fingers with a frown. 

“I guess I don’t blame you. There isn’t much for me out there. It’s like every single person expects something different of you… If I don’t show up for church, they bother me about it the next time I come, as if it’s something I have to do. I mean, I’m almost five sweeps, I think I can decide for myself whether to come or not.” 

“Pshh… Why do you even go back to the city?” Mithyt asked, dropping the toad into the jar, and then the jar into his old leather side bag. 

“Well, unlike you, I like my creature comforts. I want a real hive, with a nice bed and an AC. Plus, I can only handle so much of you.” 

Mithyt shrugged it off, and grinned that big, incomplete grin of his. He looked like such a doofus. It would almost be charming if the guy wasn’t such a shit. 

“Oh hey!” Mithyt practically jumped up, pushing his scruffy, unkempt bangs back, allowing Volare a glance of his eyes. “When are you turning five?” 

“Next perigee. Why?” 

“I don’t really keep track of my own, but I know it’s three perigees after yours, so you gotta remind me!” 

“Remember for yourself. How do you know I’ll even come back to remind you of anything?” 

“You’ll come back.” Mithyt laid against a tree opposite to Volare, and pointed a finger at him. Or more like pointed a long, disgusting nail at him. “You like me!” 

“I hate you less than everyone else. There’s a difference.” 

“Nuh uh. You totally like me.” 

“I like that you don’t expect anything of me. I like that I can have company that doesn’t care what I do. But you? I could live without you. If anything, you’re the one who likes me.” 

Mithyt laughed. Volare could feel his face grow hot with rage, and he was glad his paint concealed the purple running to it. 

“Don’t laugh at me! If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t always be trying to get me to stay.” 

“What if I’m just trying to trick you?” Mithyt got on all fours and crept up towards Volare, grinning wickedly. “What if I’m trying to lure you to my hut, so I can cook you up in a stew with frogs and bugs?” 

“… I wouldn’t put it past you.” Volare eyed him cautiously. 

That wasn’t the kind of trick Volare was afraid of, though. It was rather that… he didn’t want to find out that Mith was toying with him. He hated to admit it, but Mith was the only person he really talked to. As frustrating as the other boy is, he would hate to find out one day that it was all just some big joke at his expense. Worst of all, he could genuinely see it happening. 

Volare chucked his mutilated charm into the woods, and then stood, brushing the leaf litter off of his pants. 

“Whatever. Dad’s expecting me back soon.” 

“Boo.” 

“Like you care.” Volare tossed his bag over his shoulder, and returned his carving knife to its casing at his hip. 

Mithyt didn’t have any further comments, and simply began digging at the dirt with his nails as if the clown wasn’t even there. Volare wanted to reassure himself that Mith cared and was just putting up a front like he was, but… The distance felt tangible today. He couldn’t shake the feeling that if he brought it up, he’d get laughed at. 

Volare tightened his grip on his bag strap, and left. 

[cruorons]

Writing Process

Okay, so I thought I'd share some of my writing process here considering it is a writing blog after all. Maybe someone will find these useful or give some helpful input considering my process tends to be rather chaotic.

1. Ideas

I don't really sit down with the intention of coming up with an idea for a fic. Most of it comes to me naturally, as I go on about my day and daydream about certain dynamics or lore. However, I've noticed I tend to get inspired by:

• music - I like making playlists for fanfics I haven't even written yet, and then listen to the songs as I write. It helps me shape the plan for how the story is about to go, set the mood, in certain cases even inspire specific scenes.

• personal experiences - I noticed fics like that tend to perform well. People can tell when something is heartfelt. Do not underestimate your readers.

• ships - Already mentioned them, but about to highlight them again. Some people say that ship fics are less than but I couldn't disagree more. I've never been truly in love myself, yet find it such a fascinating thing. I could write about it endlessly from a bunch of different perspectives and never get bored of it.

Maybe it's my brain stopping me, but I never get inspired by fanart, as much as I love looking through the tags on here. Just a fun fact.

Basically, I start off with a single scene in my brain and then, I build off of it.

2. Beginning

When I realize I have something to elaborate on, that's when I boot up Google Docs and open a new document. I used to work in Word instead, but I switched to a different program for convenience. Google Docs crashes less and seems neater.

That's also when I like to think of a name for the fic. I search through synonyms for key words, phrases, famous and niché quotes. I like my titles short and concise, but also symbolic; such as with 'inferno', 'endophagy' and 'dowager'. They have to make sense within the context of the fanfic.

After I find something cool, that's when I make a document called "[fic name] PLAN".

- It's where I start writing down the idea in more detail.

- It's good to elaborate on each scene. A few sentences won't cut it; sometimes in the plan, I even put in actual paragraphs or even dialogue.

- English is not my native language, but I like to write the plan using it anyway. Ironically, it gives my brain more freedom; grammar in English is easier than the one in my native language.

- My plans usually have ~1-2k words.

- If I write a chaptered fic, I try to make a plan document for each chapter. Also, I tend to have the beginning of the story and the ending in my head, but add onto the middle as I go. So, even though I've had the idea for 'endophagy' in my head since 2021, as well as the ending (!), the chapters in between are improv.

3. The fanfic

I try to finish writing the plan in full before moving onto the actual thing, but there are exceptions.

I create a new document called the actual fic's name in another tab and start writing. I check the plan document every now and then, because oftentimes I forget about certain story beats or dialogue I wanted to include. When I finish a paragraph, I mark it in red in the plan, then switch the tab again. It's helpful to see your progress.

Now, a more controversial thing about me is that

I refuse to make multiple drafts

There are writers that make a bunch of drafts. If that works for you, amazing! Personally, it'd drive me insane. The longer I work on a fic, the more I begin to despise it. I don't write for pleasure, I write because I have things boiling in my head and it's the only way to release the tension. A such, I write the entire fic and then read through it once to catch mistakes. Then, I post and forget all about it.

If you've read through everything, congratulations! And thank you. I have found a welcoming community on ao3 and I like it there so, so much.