#even though the sleep was broken up

[hyuuukais]

that 11 hour sleep must have since me some good cause guess who FINALLY started writing chapter 2 of fictional reality!!!!!!!!! YUP IT'S ME I'M SO HAPPY >:)))))

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[pepperf]

Favourite part of The Fall Guy is Jody finding catharsis in making Colt do repeated takes of That One Stunt, while giving him “context” through a loudhailer, and him just taking it bc he doesn’t know how else to make amends, and the entire crew watching this clearly dramatic exes moment like a fucking tennis match.

[ra-vio]

semester is almost over. im dying

[keeps-ache]

little soup cans are some of the neatest things we have, wish there were more soup-can-like things in this world

[pepprs]

im home and already swallowed by despair. can you believe i was in CHICAGO a few hours ago. and now im here. lol

[andragoras-in-vanity]

still waiting for that knight to come save caus eonce again my mother shows her true colours

[sophieswundergarten]

Live Reaction of Sophie Being Utterly WRECKED by Chapter 13 of S.O.S.

@nobody33333333. I have no apologies or disclaimers. You Know What You Did.

OOOOHHHHHHHH. You have NO IDEA how ecstatic I am at reading this!! Going to have a hard time containing myself :D 

Already, Garrison is locked on to the psychic aspect of the situation. Makes you wonder what that tunnel vision is blocking from her?

Oh no. Ah, she thinks it’s Kate!! This is horrible.

Interesting that she still doesn’t want to brainsweep her, even though she’s scared.

NO. NO IT WASN’T A GOOD REASON. IT’S KATE!!!!!!

Man, just jumping straight into the deep end with all of the Garrison angst. I love you, Bods, but goodness gracious

I love that Jackson is just screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac and then immediately drops to (attempting to be) professional when Curtain answers. Love me some Muppet Twins.

Also, side note, I adore how you’ve set it up so they all are guessing, and the suspicion mostly lands on Kate and Reynie. It’s so clever!!! Because everyone is working with different pieces of information, and so they’re making the wrong assumptions. It’s like that one fable with the blind men and the elephant.

NICHOLAS. Even if Milligan had been hurt by the Sender, That Doesn’t Mean You Are At Fault.

(You should know you’re a good author when I spend a good 64% of my time yelling at the characters, because you are just so skilled at writing their thoughts/personalities)

And Miss Perumal’s back!!! Oh, the way you write her is such a wonderful balance of protector and mother, she’d be my favourite to read if it didn’t change every five seconds.

Jeffers!!!

Poor SQ. He’s so hurt and angry but he’s trying to handle it “maturely” and he’s so alone. I want to hug him :( 

And the depth you added!!! All the little details and nuances you include, like the stuff about SQ wanting to go to college and Curtain’s anxiety over the whole situation, culminate in such a glorious emotional payoff that gives insight to the character being complex people who pretty much all have a sympathetic side. You are a genius for keeping track of all of it, and the pacing is just masterful.

He lied!! I know it isn’t helping in this direct situation, but I’m so proud of him!! (As opposed to the fairly simple and unadulterated relief I felt when watching the show)

Oh, and then you flip it. I want to root for the kids, obviously, but when you follow up every victory with Curtain’s desperate panic as his carefully crafted world is crumbling down around him, how can I?

And he immediately channels it to “productive” anger. Oh, I am scared for the kids.

Milligan!!!

I love how you can put words to Milligan’s protectiveness without making it seem like he doesn’t care about the other children.

The fact that she immediately fixates on her bucket, instead of even thanking Milligan as I’d guess she normally would, has always stuck with me. Because it is the epitome of Kate’s relationship with her bucket: She needs to have it, it is where she derives comfort and safety, and it just drives me up a wall because it’s what she’s supposed to be getting from him, and what she probably would be feeling if she let herself stop and think about it. But she’s been on her own for so long that she can’t stop and let herself accept the help and reassurance from him. She needs to keep going.

And Milligan just supports her!! He doesn’t really understand the bucket specifically, but he loves her and so he’s willing to help her in whatever way she needs. And, the thing is, he kind of does understand, at least, better than she knows. The symbolism here is amazing, not least because it’s foreshadowing about their relationship. It’s like that one thing, “When you live through something incredibly hard and you survive, you become the person who would have saved you then” or something. Milligan is helping her in the way that he could have been helped, in being caught, in being saved from having to face the cliff and escape alone, and in helping her understand who she is.

It’s just… SO GOOD!!! You communicate it so well, and I keep rereading that bit over and over again because I love it. The emotion that is woven throughout is so intense, and so pure and lovely!! Agh, you have a very good gift with words, my friend.

And he offers to get her a new bucket!! And he tells her how much he loves her!! And how she’s always welcome. You’re going to make me cry :( 

The horrible, horrible, beautiful contrast of how much he wants Kate to be loved and valued, and how he keeps thinking about how crazy it is that someone “abandoned” her.

Wait. Wait, Milligan is being reminded of Curtain!!! Oh, Constance and her situation and Kate and it all makes him think of his friend. The element of abandonment again. I— I do not have the words for how I feel about this. But It Is A Lot.

OH. OH YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A PARENT??? KATE??????

Ah, man, it’s heartbreaking that she is weirded out by having someone, specifically an adult, care if she fell off a cliff. That’s, like, The Lowest Bar

 I am once again feeling the Milk Urge to consume drywall!!!!!!

She’s so surprised!! She’s totally thrown off that they (and, again, Milligan specifically) would go to such lengths to keep them safe!!! What!!!

You Write The Wetheralls In Such A Way That Makes Me Want To Screech But Please Know That I Am Hugging You As Hard As I Possibly Can In My Mind

Ah, yes, The Blue Beret EventTM

Nicholas is so lost, and he’s just as hurt as Curtain, but he won’t allow himself to see it because he feels so guilty.

And he doesn’t trust himself!!! He is letting other people direct him, but that’s why everything is falling apart. They don’t know the full situation, that’s one of the lonely things about being a genius; you can’t always rely on just anyone, because they don’t see things the way you do. And then Miss Perumal says a new thing and throws him off again!!

Goodness, the way you write that little paragraph of his confusion and confliction is exquisite.

I like the bit about how Miss Perumal needs to go home to her mother! The wording, and Nicholas’ reflection on it really hits home that part of her personality!! (I think you added that, but, regardless, reading through it in your style gives a better perspective on both characters, and their relationship to one another!)

Ajasdhgjkasdghkjdsajk And he’s so worried about Miss Perumal’s family (EXHILARATED with how you had him automatically include Reynie), once again missing the point of how it affects him!!!

The Stenographer!!! I like him. Does he have a name? I feel like it should be… Martin. Or Tyler. Or maybe Raphael. I don’t know, but he’s neat. Sorry for my goofy little tangent, you just have this fantastic skill for making me emotional over side characters and background people, so I’m preparing myself, in case :) 

And the way you add in the “Squeak”s!! Ooh, I could feel the agitation and anxiety building in myself just from reading it, and of course, Curtain is going to be super sensitive to that, because he needs everything to be under his control and Just So.

Which leads him to make ridiculous demands of his poor stenographer.

Reynie!! He’s trying so hard to work around all of his worry and tell the truth, even if in little bits.

STOPMINDGAMINGTHECHILDLEDROPHTA

As much as I’d like to give Curtain credit for being a human polygraph machine as he seems to think he is, Reynie is just garbage at lying. So am I, kid, don’t worry about it. But it is funny how the scene can be interpreted either as Curtain being super good at his job and making Reynie nervous, or Reynie doing his best but just being stuck in a situation he isn’t suited for. THIS is what I keep saying about your writing: I sympathise equally with all the characters and am deeply invested in each and every one of them, regardless of if I even remembered they existed from the show.

THE STAR THING IS BACK

(Okay, I know that was from the show, but you keep building up to/creating this star motif and it is driving me bonkers I Love It)

Noooooo, he thinks it’s Nicholas trying to hurt him!!!!! Why must you tear me apart in this way

“Reynie Muldoon was intelligent. He was. Curtain could admit that. But he didn’t have Sticky’s gift” You are so good at balancing all of the characters, it’s insane. Mentioning the other kids when writing from a single one’s perspective or even from an adult’s is so cool, because it reinforces the concept of them being connected, and relying on each other. Oh, man, it’s just awesome to see!!!

Poor Jeffers, he’s just getting put in awkward positions even without his bumbling buffoonery.

NO. Ah, I forgot the Implications of Jackson, Jillson, and Martina being friends, no this is awful

AKJSFHJFKHDDSKJKJHDGSHKJDG BODS

I am going to. Just. Combust on the spot HOW DARE YOU

Okay. Okay I am going to RantTM now and you’re just going to have to DEAL for yanking my heart out by the strings and then stomping it into the ground

Y O U   C A N   S E E   T H E M   L O S I N G   I T.  

You can see, even in such a short bit, how Curtain’s brainwashing is creating a conflict with what they personally have come to believe. They feel betrayed and confused and scared, and the line “Dr. Curtain had always been there for them, and someone as smart and as generous as him would never lie”, but he would!!! AND HE DID!!!!!

And they love Martina, of course, but now that the floor has dropped out from under them they turn to each other, because that’s all they have left. Curtain isn’t going to comfort them, he’s not going to be a source of kindness and support, he’s too Busy And Important. But, they are still, without really thinking about it, going to rely on him even more, because now that Martina “betrayed” them, he’s the only person who has “been there for them” (And, again, we see the sort of mindset they have of being more of a single unit, because of how close they are. They don’t consider each other an outside human, but rather a vital component of themself)

And the fact that they don’t even realise the need to distance themselves from Martina and throw her under the bus is because Curtain is manipulating them and mistreating them!!! They feel like it’s a rational reaction, because of course the man they’ve spent their whole lives working to repay for the fantastic service of occasionally being polite to them is the good guy. When faced with their own facts and decisions, and years of Curtain’s lies, they don’t know where to turn!!!

“Jackson and Jillson lifted their heads and looked sadly at each other. Martina had tricked them into being her friends? Well, they supposed in light of this evidence, there couldn’t be any other explanation” HE’S DOING THE SAME THING HE DOES TO SQ!!!! WHAT!!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CARELESS TO NOT EVEN GRANT THEM THE KINDNESS OF PRETENDING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PAIN LIKE YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN SON. NO, YOU JUST DO THE BAD STUFF THAT’LL HURT THEM, BUT BOY WILL IT MAKE THEM COMPLIANT. PRESENTING YOURSELF AS THE ONLY SAFE OPTION DOESN’T MAKE IT LOYALTY

Okay. Going to try and calm down now. But Marie Curie’s Notebook, Bods, did you have to do that to me?

Madge Perspective!!

Constance and Madge rivalry is one of my favourite things to come out of this, and it is slightly making up for the gaping hole in my heart from the last passage

I appreciate that you gave her a reason for not giving the note to Reynie!! This actually makes a lot of sense and works so awesomely with the continuity :D 

AND SHE GOES TO TAKE SQ’S SANDWICH I LOVE HER

AND HE RECOGNISES HER THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Oh, and now it’s sad again. You’re giving me whiplash with all this, I swear…

Ah, no. I knew this had to happen but it doesn’t make it any less painful, especially to read through in your writing.

Somehow, the fact that “You’re not nice at all” was such a cutting remark for both of the boys speaks volumes about them.

The way you keep leveraging their age differences as something SQ is ashamed of!!! I’ve moved on from the drywall and am unscrewing and consuming my light bulbs. Just— AGH. I can’t think of the words to get this feeling across properly… SQ was being vulnerable, and opening himself up to someone who could really understand him, and now he’s being made to feel ashamed over it for things that are not his fault!! WHAT???

And Reynie is trying so incredibly hard!!!! Oh, this was one of my absolute least favourite parts of the show, it just hurts so much and it reminds me of that bit in the books when SQ tells Sticky that the best thing to do was “not to have cheated in the past”. The best thing would be if they could have somehow avoided this situation, because of how it hurt both of them :( 

Nice detail about SQ’s tutors!!

Oh, but the poor boy’s so hurt. AND IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THIS BAD IF CURTAIN HADN’T BEEN INSTILLING SUCH RIDICULOUS CONCEPTS INTO HIS KID FOR YEARS

Jeepers Has Jeeped It Up Again

And now Curtain is spiralling!! Part of me is like “The nerve of him, after he just destroyed several children”, but, alas, your writing has gotten to me again and I actually feel kind of bad for him

Nicholas isn’t laughing at you, you GRASSHOPPER, he’s CRYING because he LOVES YOU

And Garrison is having to bear so much of his anger. It’s that other thing, the one about how you treat people close to you worse because you trust them to love you anyway? Except BAD because they’ve both been through so much it’s just getting wildly more unhealthy by the day

“Now all she could do was hope that whatever psychics and spies were crawling about the Institute were able to get their job done before Curtain found them” It’s so weird how she doesn’t have the information necessary in the slightest, but somehow she’s kind of closer to the truth than Curtain is

(This isn’t important in the slightest, and not to undercut the drama and tension of this scene, but I hate that stupid hallway painting outside Curtain’s office with a PASSION)

Ooooh, the way you sprinkle little hints of doubt into SQ’s thoughts is absolutely fantastic. And painful. Very Painful.

Reynie’s so scared but you know he wouldn’t really blame SQ even if he did get brainswept

The way you added SQ’s backstory with the Helpers!! That’s so cool!! Oh my heavens, I am in love with how you added that!!!!

THIS CHILD IS SO EMPATHETIC WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN SELF REYNARD

Now, just because I don’t think Reynie, as a small, incredibly stressed child, should be overly worried about SQ doesn’t mean I am not worried, oh my word. This Child!!! Needs A Hug!!!! Now!!!!

Jeeps.

But, the thing is, Curtain is so upset!! And he’s not upset because his Evil Villain Mastermind plan is going awry, he’s upset because the (Astoundingly Unhealthy) coping mechanisms are failing him! It makes me want to Pat Him On The Back, because I don’t think a hug would end well

MAYBE MARTINA WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IF YOU LET HIM TALK TO PEOPLE

But, really, Curtain would probably hate Martina as an influence on SQ because she’d challenge him

“Would you care to reconsider that answer, son?” And you wonder why the kid’s got trust issues

And this is it!!! Oh, Bods, I am Vibrating. Curtain’s emotional dam is cracking and it’s going to go so terribly but I wish he’d just work it out Lands Sakes Alive

It’s so infuriating that he’s being such a funky little oxymoronic moron and forcing himself not to feel emotions by thinking about people he cares about

AKJFHDHGJKGSDHJGKJGKJKHJGKJHGSKJHDKJHDGSKJSDG

DOCTOR GARRISON????????

I’m going to have a heart attack one of these days, Heavens to Betsy

SQ!!! AND THE SECRET LAB!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!

Oh, Milligan is so proud of Kate!! As he should be!! You write him going into these cute detail spirals whenever he thinks about Kate, and it’s so sweet!! I love it :) 

Just the small scenes you add to fill in what we see in the show are gorgeous!!! They make me fantastically happy to read

Oh, Jackson and Jillson. They really need to discover their own personalities. Someone please save them from themselves (And Curtain)

(Quick Note: The word “falcon” has a tiny little typo in it. Nothing to worry about, I just thought you might want to know)

ONCE AGAIN. HOW IS CURTAIN ACTUALLY KIND OF CLOSE BUT SO OFF THE MARK??????

Erika!!

BODS I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM CRYING AND MELTING INTO THE FLOOR THROWING UP FROM THE PURE EMOTION HOW COULD YOU DO THIS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND HOW DARE YOU HOW COULD YOU DO THIS THIS IS THE END FOR ME

ASKJKHJDGSKHJDSGKJDGKJGDFKJHFGKJHDGKJHDSGJKL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDS TO ARTICULATE THIS I AM BANGING MY FACE INTO THE WALL BODS PLEASE KNOW IF I WAS EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR YOU I WOULD BE BRAVING THE STREETS TO DRIVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND CRY ON YOUR COUCH. AFTER I EAT ALL YOUR LIGHT BULBS.

The thing about SQ hiding in the woods!! The bird ice cream!!!

THE FACT THAT SQ CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE WAS GIVEN THE ICE CREAM

NO. I DON’T TRUST HIM “MAILING OUT” THE APPLICATIONS. CURTAIN MAY LOVE HIS SON BUT HE IS OBVIOUSLY  HORRENDOUSLY MISGUIDED AND KIND OF COWARDLY OH MY HEAVENS. NIKOLA TESLA AND HIS COILS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT.

Okay. Okayokayokayokayokayokayokay. Listen. If this is a pattern (Which it’s seeming pretty likely), then there’s a whole other side that’s probably unintentional!!! Whenever Curtain brainsweeps SQ, which I’m assuming happens every couple of years, then Curtain gets all concerned and is much more careful with SQ because A) He feels bad, and B) SQ is super disoriented and out of it. WHICH MEANS THAT IT REINFORCES IN SQ’S MIND THAT HIS DAD IS THE ONE TO RELY ON WHEN IN STATES OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

Oh, Oh Garrison. You are worth more than just throwing up and downing pain meds to try and get through life. 

I wish Milligan, or even Curtain when he was slightly more stable, was there to care about her

(This might be me off on a mad as a March hare tangent, but is there a possibility for Garrison’s headache being because she is also a bit psychic?? I’m probably super wrong, but I am also absolutely bouncing off the walls with all of the Brain Bees you’ve given me)

And Curtain still makes her vegan food. Even though she doesn’t fully get it, and Curtain is being all crazy, he still cares about her it makes me so sad

ASHJHHHJKDSG I’m willing to bet that this is also the first time in a while she’s gotten any compliments at all, aside from the children

She’s trying to be a good person!!! But she’s also awfully conflicted like everyone else in this miserable disaster of a decaying friend group, and so it’s going badly!!! I also feel like someone might need to talk to her about her social struggles, because if she’d just stop trying to force herself to be some kind of muddied idealised hypothetical version of herself, then she might get somewhere

(And also if Curtain got off her back a little. I don’t know, I just feel like it says something about her that she has the easier time talking to children out of everyone else)

Martina!!!

Oh, she’s probably also falling apart because either she’s a fugitive and Jackson and Jillson betray her or she’s absolved and Kate’s in the wrong

The dual reactions!!!! The confusion!!! THE FACT THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON

ASFKKJDS He’s leaving them in the Waiting Room overnight??? I can’t remember if that happened in the show, but, overkill much??

Oh, and Milligan is having a crisis over being a horrible person, and then has no time to breathe as he’s absolutely panicked over what’s going to happen to Kate

DOCTOR GARRISON????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…

Bods. Buddy, Bud, Nobody, Bods.

I Am Going To Start Weeping Openly As Soon As I Finish Stealing All Of Your Left Socks

THE SIGNATURE NOBODY GUT-PUNCH ENDING

WHOOOO

I hope you know that I am wrecked, and I will never, ever be able to move past this. Seriously. I am going to remember this fic for the rest of my life, and I am just. Beyond words.

[Despite being at a loss for words, Sophie proceeded to yell and climb the walls for the next forty-five minutes]

I am going to. Just. This is insane!!! You have broken my brain!!! The Bees have been flash-frozen and are dropping like rocks!!! I can’t even process All That.

I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SO, SO GOOD AND GRAND AND I COMMEND YOU AS A WRITER AND A CREATIVE AND A HUMAN BUT ALSO I AM GOING TO SCREAM NOW

One of these days I’m going to have to write a full-blown essay, or, like, make a PowerPoint about how I have been emotionally devastated because your writing has fully cemented itself as a fundamental part of my personality.

Just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of these days I am going to learn the words to get across to you how much this means with me and how Full Of Emotion I Am

Oh, goodness, I need to go to sleep.

I couldn’t wait and I really wanted to read it, but my “reviews” have become less coherent commentaries and more “live” reactions, and there was so much going on that I needed to get all of my thoughts out immediately.

Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou, thank you, Thank You, from the bottom of my heart, for this. This chapter, this fic, this entirety of you existing. Thank you so much

Alright, I’m going to try and sleep now, as if I am ever going to recover from this :)

[britneyshakespeare]

being someone who can't fall asleep OR stay asleep is a one-two punch of misery. it'll be like yeah i took multiple sleep aids and i only slept a couple hours last night. been awake since 3. why you ask? someone in my house got up to go to the bathroom. and how am i supposed to sleep after such a disturbance?

[notmoreflippingelves]

Why is it that my rare pair tendencies are not limited strictly to my hyperfixations of the moment but in like 99% of media that I consume? It's not fair. I just get a tiny little urge for like a day to read a fic or see an art for a specific pairing before returning to my main interest. Only to find that particular pairing that my stewpid brain had convinced itself "must be huge in this fandom because how could it NOT BE?" barely exists--if it even exists at all and I have clowned on myself yet again.

[fruitsyrups]

Miles 🙂🥺🥹🥰☺️🤗😌😊😇😁

[byanyan]

byan gets into a lot of trouble at school and, while yes, most of the time it is their own fault, there are plenty of times where they get in shit for retaliating and protecting themself against those who intentionally harass & try to hurt them. even in these situations though, byan tends to take the brunt of any punishment because they don't bother trying to explain that they were simply defending themself. used to not being listened to or believed, to having the blame fall on them because they're the one known for their attitude & outbursts, they no longer see any point in wasting their breath fighting to explain what really happened - they'd rather just be given whatever punishment lies in store for them so they can get out of the principal's office and on with their day.

similarly, they won't speak out when they're being targeted & bullied. it's a waste of time & effort, and they see 'tattling' on some other student who's making their life miserable as a pathetic, weak thing to do, an admission of defeat - even when the other's actions are literally causing them harm. they'd rather take care of it themself. violently. ...something which has led to their expulsion from at least two different schools.

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[yoohyeon]

I was too shaken up to say it yesterday, and you probably don’t care but I need to vent

Yesterday at 12:30 at night some of my neighbours got into a fight, bottle of beer shatter, lot of noises like barels were falling down the stair to the point we had to call the police and they ran away… No idea who was fighting, but half the building was there (4 app out of 8) including a REALLY pregnant woman with twins and now my mom says they are giving use dirty looks and I can’t help but be a bit scared even if they are usually super sweet 😭

[icannotgetoverbirds]

*suddenly stops worrying about everything*

...

what.

*worries about the fact that I'm not worrying about anything*

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

i'm so tired of fucking dealing with people today. i'm the only one awake in my house rn and somehow i'm still dealing with people