#even though the romantic plot line is central and super important

[bootstrapparadoxed]

I've now (lightly) edited 6 chapters of FrankensteinWIP and uhhh. Well. Good news about it: I no longer feel meh about the book, I love it again. Bad (?) news about it: I think I have written something that appeals specifically to me and no one else which, uh, that was the plan originally I guess? Like I wanted to write something entirely self-indulgent and personal, and I think I succeeded, but my question is - will anyone else want to read this? Cause I honestly cannot tell.

Almost exactly half of this book is a slow-burn queer romance in a dark academia setting and then the other half is going to be a creepy disturbing science/medical horror (plus the romance will go from slightly questionable to a co-dependent nightmare). I adore this, I feel like I am writing my own version of Secret History with overt queer text instead of subtext. However. Would anyone else read this lol

Anyway, I will edit the first half until I run out of stuff to edit and go back to drafting with renewed motivation. I still haven't decided if I want to share that first half already btw. But I do enjoy the edit so far. A lot. So at least there's that.

[professorbellarke]

k you're so positive about everyting what can you say to make me feel better about saying "i care about both of you" to octavia? i feel like that dilutes her love for bellamy so much. is she just not confronting her love for him? idk it just feels like the writers again not caring about bellarke. putting bellamy on the same level as octavia for clarke.

OH FAM. FAM FAM FAM. The show is saying the exact opposite! In no uncertain terms! (Like…did you see the enormous, lovingly crafted charcoal Bellamy sketches everywhere? The were huge! The metaphor is not subtle! Bellamy takes up enormous real estate in her mind space for very good reason.) 

Anyway, the line you’re referring to comes right after Not!Octavia says THIS:

“Fine, you wrote me off. At the conclave, at Tondc—I get it. But the thing is, I really thought you cared about Bellamy.”

Clarke answering Not!Octavia by saying she cares about BOTH of them is not diluting her caring about Bellamy—she’s directly answering the charges HER OWN SUBCONSCIOUS is throwing at her. (Remember this is not actually Octavia!!). Not!Octavia is accusing her of not caring about Bellamy, but also about not caring about O. Clarke is a kind person. She would of course assure Octavia to her (not)face that she cares about her and not just Bellamy. She wouldn’t just skip over that part of the accusation.

But her guilt for the things she’s done to Octavia is tied up in her guilt over Bellamy, and vice versa. (She let the bomb drop on Tondc for Bellamy, remember?). That fighting pit room is just a big ball of Blake pain. It’s why she’s confronted with the bloodiest, most lethal, most unforgiving Blake manifestation there is--Blodreina. A monster accusing Clarke of being an even worse monster.

But it’s super important that Bellamy ISN’T THERE—and that only through Octavia can we even get near the Bellamy-shaped elephant in the (murder)room. Clarke can face Octavia’s (presumed) disgust and disdain, even though it hurts like a bitch. She cannot face Bellamy’s. Not even a subconscious manifestation of it.

Even the way Octavia’s dialogue is formed is so crucial. She uses caring for Bellamy as a kill shot, just like Josephine does later. She’s saying, “Fine, you fucked me over and chose to let me get blown up, whatever, it’s shitty but I’m not BELLAMY. BELLAMY is special to you, different than everyone else, on a different level to you, and you even fucked HIM over. Do you care about ANYONE?? is there anyone you love that hasn’t suffered?” 

THAT is what the Octavia manifestation is there to torture her over. She’s sticking a knife in one of Clarke’s softest spots. One of the things that Clarke and Bellamy have always explicitly given each other is forgiveness—and now here’s one of the very worst voices in Clarke’s head telling Clarke that she doesn’t actually have that. The one person (besides Madi, but children are different) who provides her with absolution and emotional safety…ACTUALLY thinks she’s a monster. She left him behind in the fighting pits. At the gates of Camp Jaha after Mt. Weather. The beautiful hug and forgiveness they shared earlier in s6, when Clarke thought she had shed her greatest sin of abandoning Bellamy by writing it on that lantern, is being weaponized against her. It’s not real. he doesn’t forgive you. You’re a monster, just like you’ve always thought.

Talking to Bellamy on the radio kept her sane and grounded (heh). Bellamy’s forgiveness and trust keep her centered (explicitly stated in s4 by Jaha). Take that away--hollow it out--and Clarke herself is hollowed.

And Clarke and Bellamy forgiving and absolving one another is absolutely bone-deep crucial to their character arcs. It always has been.

“He understands,” Clarke says, her heart in her voice. Because they’re the same! They’ve always been opposites but the same, balanced and equal, heart and head, leaders on space and leaders on earth, covered in blood to save their people but always washing it off the other. Clarke absolutely needs that to be true. Her worst fear is that it isn’t—that nobody understands her. That the blood doesn’t come out. That’s she’s a monster, and Bellamy of all people knows it.

Ain’t NOTHING diluted about what Clarke says. Sometimes you have to pay attention to what characters don’t say, and ESPECIALLY to HOW characters say things, like the way her voice breaks on “He forgave me”. God, his opinion and his trust and love are so important to her. Literally we see that without it, she starts to doubt her entire character. Clarke’s opinion of herself and Bellamy’s opinion of herself (and vice versa, but this is Clarkeland right now) are inextricably linked. Clarke gives up fighting and accepts brain death because of Bellamy taking that deal (and by the way Josephine frames it, inadvertently convincing Clarke that they really are better of without her). Bellamy gives up fighting and accepts heart death (Clarke-less existence) because it’s what hhe thinks Clarke would do. This isn’t me inferring. This is literally the plot on the screen.

UNSUBTLE AS ALL DAMN HELL and romantic as the damn Titanic movie poster

And the big, dramatic, HELL YEAH FEEL GOOD FIST PUMP of an ending is Clarke reaching across the void and against all damn odds making contact with…….who? BELLAMY. “He understands,” Clarke says, full of doubt that eh actually does, afraid that she’s only deluding herself, but HOO BOY WHO UNDERSTANDS CLARKE GRIFFIN BETTER? Bellamy literally understands the tapping of her finger! HER FINGER. TAPPING. He understands you bet your ASS ONE HUSBAND DOES!

There’s a reason it’s Bellamy who gets her message. Bellamy is her engine for emotional change. And she’s his. Been that way since Bellamy tried to get Clarke’s wristband off and Clarke said NO and then he didn’t let her fall in a pit of spikes. That was growth! That was Bellarke. That was the twin pillars of the show being established. They affect each other. And their effect on each other is the central plot of the whole damn story. And that shit is romantic as fuck. Literally the basis of all my favorite love stories.

Tl;dr: Stop gaslighting yourself, fam. The 100 has always been a big Bellarkeapalooza. Every major plotline, every dramatic climax, every emotional turning point. BELLARKAPALOOZA.

[kalira]

CATS movie thoughts~

(post mirrored from Pillowfort here)

I went to see the new CATS movie with @mad-madam-m yesterday (we've been planning this since the first trailer dropped) and it was actually a) better than I expected, and b) enjoyable, which was a nice surprise! (I expected us to enjoy it because it was entertainingly bad, honestly.)

I've loved CATS since I saw the Broadway version as a kid, and listened repeatedly (incessantly) to the soundtrack thereof back then - and at times even these days - and was delighted to see a production of it when it came to our city when I was small.

The movie left me with 2-3 major issues and a handful of quibbles. . . I have not organised them at all, but here are my thoughts.

. . .which I am putting under a cut because I had a lot more to say than I thought, apparently.

I am not surprised they did an outsider character to be an audience surrogate, but *SIGH*

Also . . . Victoria? Whose characterisation in the stage show is 'excellent ballerina'?

I know that's why they chose her, they could fill her in as they chose, but it was weird to have a cat who left almost no impression in the stage show as the 'main character'

Okay I admittedly missed that they apparently folded in Jemima/Sillabub to her as well, but that really doesn't make me feel any better

Did we have to have the incredibly forced romantical feeling type focus?

Not to mention we had some oddness towards that with Munkustrap initially

Then there was Misto falling tail over paws - because he bumbles through everything - at her

Then the oddness of the Munjojerrie and Rumpelteazer song which was probably not supposed to added the both of them to that list, if more briefly

Holy heckies adding a new song for the new central character was not a bad idea but literally anywhere else in the goddamn movie, and not spinning off of Memory oh my lord all the no it was so cringe

Look you cannot build off of Memory as 'but I have it worse than you so feel better'

Who has it worse is never a good game to play at all, playing it here was so cringey

'What's a Jellicle?'

Okay I know, audience surrogate, but oof

Actually let me skip back - the CGI did not bother me that much and it's like 99% of the ranting I have seen about this since the very first trailer. It never bothered me that much.

The cats were made a bit more plain; that bothered me.

Let them have ruffs, especially the toms, wtf did you remove those for it looks a) weird, and b) wrong for cats

However the show really can only be played by humanoid cats, I think, or it . . . look, the production wouldn't work with more catlike cats

The addition of dialogue stringing together the songs and adding more plot elements and freedom to work with them was really not an issue in my opinion

It strung together the slightly expanded plot in a way it really needed

It wasn't that jarring or awkward, to me

Misto, oh baby, why oh why did they do that to you~

Mister Mistoffeelees, who is an aloof, confident, and incredibly skilled magician in the stage show is made into a nervously fumbling barely-past-kitten who fails at almost every bit of magic he attempts (and falls and trips rather a lot as well, when he's a brilliantly graceful dancer in the stage show)

It was painful, oh sweetie

I can guess part of why they did it, but it was not well done and I don't think it was necessary

Misto's magic was painful; not because it was painful itself but because he was so bad at it, and everyone expected him to fail every time he tried

Misto using his magic for Gus' song, for dramatic effect? I thought it was really great and also really sweet

Actually Misto being so starry-eyed at Gus was adorable all around

That could have been put in even with Misto being his confident stage self, in fact it could have been super cute to have him be composed and confident and then go to an overexcited kitten with Gus in front of him

The absence of the Conjuring Turn was so sad, it is a star point of Misto

Look I'm not a fan of the 'awkward bumbling male finds his confidence because of the unwavering (with no reason) faith of the new female love interest' trope in general, having it wedged in here suddenly did not make me like it any more

Upon the note of Misto, the rescue of Deuteronomy . . . was very badly timed on the beats, and badly done (I felt) when it finally happened.

I didn't expect her to show up when Misto first tried

I semi-expected the second time, but okay

When she didn't show up the third time it stopped being any kind of suspense - especially since, let's be real, the plot is not really a huge mystery - and became 'okay so . . . what are we doing instead now?'

And then the fourth try, when she did appear, it was done very anticlimactically

Deuteronomy being female didn't really bother me but it left me a bit eh

Judi Dench is awesome, but Deuteronomy not really singing is weird

Also, let Judi Dench's Deuteronomy have been implied to have had 9 - or 99 - wives you cowards

. . .plus that line being altered to be another repeat of 'Old Deuteronomy's had many lives, some may say ninety-nine' . . . it was awkward/clunky and felt over repetitious

Jennyanydots . . . oof, poor hon

Jennyanydots is a mature and above all sweetly sincere queen in the stage show

She honestly wants to better the mice and the cockroaches, and it's a bit silly perhaps, but she is determined to do it - and does

And the other cats respect her and, more, they genuinely care very much for her it seems

And she's earnest

I expected her to be played more for comedy given who was cast to play her, but the extent of it felt not great, to be honest, even before the other cats began to feel like they were mocking her a bit

Not to mention - the joke about the mice being dinner and a show I could let pass despite being very different from Jennyanydots as she originally was, but actually eating cockroaches as it went was a bit too far

As I told M when we were discussing the movie after the showing, it was like, I was rolling with it, and then they rolled too far

Also on that note? The CGI mice were a bit o.O - when the CGI cockroaches started marching my thought was actually 'oh, this won't feature in my nightmares at all'

They won't actually but they were kind of horrifying

I did like the cats watching with that alert, slightly twitchy focus of a cat seeing a small moving creature

The traditional costume change looked . . . weirder and creepier with the CGI than costume work

Bustopher Jones went from a dignified figure to a ridiculous one

It was again rather terrible to watch, wince-worthy

Prancing through the rubbish bins and splatting through things instead of his usual stage show refinement and rather snobbishness? Oof

Bustopher has always been respected, even specifically so because of his size, making his weight a joke and/or something he's 'extra sensitive' about was . . . so unnecessary

The Rum Tum Tugger has always been my favourite, since I was a wee tiny Kalira

. . .he was blessedly not so bad as I feared - and even went back closer to the rocker cat (complete with flirtatious tease nature) than the rap adaptation I have heard of and been continually ohgodwhy no at

However, why did they discard the few details of his character that are not a self-important flirt?

He's not even focused at that - in the stage show I am accustomed to he is very much a determined performer, basking in being adored

he was a bit 'oo shiny' and kept ignoring his adoring audience in the movie?

In the stage show he is also around to drop in playful lines from time to time

Also he sings a good chunk of Misto's song and brags him up, as well as pieces of other songs

While he claims to be distant and aloof, and may somewhat be, he continually comes back and causes minor disruptions for his own (and others') amusement in the stage show

He also protectively shelters some of the kittens more than once

Misto's barb was kept in but sounded more like a jealous, anxious attempt to detract attention instead of a teasing barb at an egotistical friend

Along with many of the songs, Tugger's was altered so that it is entirely sung about himself, and as with many of them, I felt it was better with some of the lines from another singer

Though his is not so bad as many, perhaps because he's already talking himself up

I wasn't really surprised to find he's changed from the inspirations I remember from the stage show and when I was little (Mick Jagger and David Bowie, mother told me when I got older XD) but it was still a little bit of a disappointment

Also a bit random, when mostly the soloing cats - at least/especially the ones singing for themselves in front of all the others - were competing in the formalised 'who gets to ascend' spread, that Tugger is evidently not

Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer were kind of fantastic and then kind of wtf for me

me, during their song, as they pulled Victoria along with them to play and cause all manner of mischief in the house: I don't think I'm intended to be shipping Victoria with both of them now, but I definitely am

me, at the end of their song, as they deliberately abandoned Victoria strangling and trapped as a dog came barrelling up after her with saucy nonchalance: . . .what the fuck?

me, when they were helping with Macavity's attack directly: excuse me no

I know they're said to be 'rumoured' to help him out in the stage show but this was very different

Yeah they said here that it was 'only a bit of fun' and they didn't know Macavity was planning to kidnap Deuteronomy, but . . . no

I did actually like their colouration redesign, making them I think the only cats I did in the entire movie

The lack of their tumbling and acrobatics was a bit sad, though their song and playful successsion of running about, Victoria in tow, was fun

Macavity was played super well considering he has no lines in the stage show so rather little to go on, and the expansion of his plot was honestly understandable - I mean, CATS has a heck of a thin plot for a musical, let alone a movie

One of the things that bothered me about him was honestly that his song where he is described he is described as ginger and poorly-combed

He's played by Idris Elba and his fur is sleek rich brown

He looks great, but alter the lines, you've already altered several, including Deuteronomy's because of the genderswap

On that note, the plot expansion in general . . . it was way better than I feared

I was afraid they were going to wedge in another plotline alongside the (very thin/hardly there, admitted) one in the stage show and it wouldn't go well

On the other hand the making the Jellicle Ball an official competition was a little eh to me

The more I think about it the less I like it even, really

I suppose it had to be, maybe, to work with expanding Macavity's plot and actions, but I don't care for it (and I think it could probably have been worked around)

I could have done without the queens being actively aggressive to Grizabella, oof that was owch

They recoil and hiss and act like she has the plague or a curse, very disdainful of her, in the stage show, and it works well

Having the queens actively attack her, not only hissing but instead of recoiling circling her and closing in on her to slash at her? It was . . . not good

So I guess the lead queen that I noticed doing that the most is . . . Cassandra? I honestly thought it was supposed to be Bombalurina

Bombalurina only showed up as Macavity's chief singer and queen underling, to distract and drug everyone

Really? Yeah some of the queens sing about Macavity in the stage show, but Bomba is even the one who comforts Demeter when Macavity's presence freaks her out (in what seems like a trauma reaction, rather) in the stage show

I have no idea who is supposed to be Demeter, the queens were all but interchangeable background, really most of the chorus cats were

Which brings up the theme of a lot of the cats being unrecognisable to me, honestly, and/or having their roles remixed a little, or straight-up lessened

Skimbleshanks was awesome, and his song/number was perhaps even better than in the stage show

The tap-dancing along the rails? Awesome

The cats playing around in the sleeper cabin was also pretty great honestly

 I will say when Skimbles appeared my immediate impression was of a very specific within-the-LGBT+-community gay man stereotype

Also I am terribly amused that he's wearing half a suit of clothes and it's the opposite half that he was in the stage production I'm most familiar with

Munkustrap was rather different, still a large part of keeping things going, if not the same way

Less serious than I'm used to? Not that he's only serious, but still

He made the best faces, like, it rescued a few awkward moments

At least a handful of moments that made me go 'this is so very not the Munkustrap I know' characterisation-wise

With the battle removed and a few other things, many of the moments that make his personality shine were gone

No seeing him lunge into action as the Jellicle Protector, basically

No seeing him trying to manage the little play-within-a-play put on for Deuteronomy (even when Tugger causes mischief) although I can't blame them for cutting both of those

No seeing him shield the kittens or younger/other cats without hesitation

Instead there was mostly just the slightly silly characterisation that showed in the moments between in the movie, it seemed to me

Gus the theatre cat was another of those whose song was rewritten to be sung by themselves, though his is the most notable for that, given he barely sings at all in the stage show

I really think it worked better the other way

But they gave me Ian McKellen being awesome in that song so I am okay with this

Also, Gus using a bit of that to scare Growltiger off the ferry and into the Thames? Fabulous

Misto's song - I talked about him and about Deuteronomy's rescue, but the song

I love having it led in by Tugger in the stage show, and I love having Tugger brag him up

Tugger is good at that, honestly, it so suits his style

Misto needs a bit of bragging up, especially for this moment

First of all, changing it up so Misto sings most of it himself instead is a bit sketchy

Changing it so it becomes less of a confident, showy number and instead is Misto being so anxious he can barely sing and constantly checking reactions . . . that made it worse

Next up, changing it from Tugger - who reads as friendly to Misto, in the stage show - leading in Misto's song and encouraging the others to praise him, to Victoria who has only just met him and all the other cats being dubious as they join in. . . I did not like

My shipper heart: why would you take that away it was excellent interaction!

My non-shipper heart: why would you take that away it makes much more sense and it also makes a lovely balance with Misto teasing Tugger during his song and shows that Tugger took it in the light-hearted spirit (they're friends, they're there for each other) it seemed to be

Also that it was so sweet a bit of interplay they took it away from Tugger to give to Misto's Sudden Romantic Interest in the movie, with zero changes otherwise? I have some side-eye.

I already mentioned the rescuing Deuteronomy beats being all wrong, but it also left me thinking we'd be getting less of Misto's song and it was oddly broken-up when we did get more

The catnip usage had me a bit o.O I'll be honest, for several reasons

Erwhat with the drugging everyone in that scene?

The glowing I'm going to assume is to show that it's having an effect on the cats, but it came off a bit weird to me

There were several cats it looked like were 'trying to escape' the catnip who most definitely had/should have already been hit

Also how did the cats assisting Macavity avoid being affected? Bombalurina at first made sense, sprinkling it below herself, none of it after that did

Wow Macavity's song and climax there with the stairs right up to the 'Heaviside Layer' in his stage display? So cocky! An unwise cat

Deuteronomy smacking him down? Very nice

Continuing to do so when he disappeared them both? Even better

I was really rather surprised not to see the melee battle among the cats in the climax with Macavity

Of course that also took away some of the drama, aaand some of the chorus cats, especially the toms', chances to shine

The queens were pretty indistuingishable from each other but at least we saw them somewhat, the toms mostly seemed to be entirely background blur

Growltiger being added in as Macavity's henchcat was actually kind of great? Watching over the kidnapped cats and as a secondary (and subordinate) Bad Tom, yes

In contrast to the mischievous Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer being used that way, I am so there for it

Grizabella was . . . a little disappointing?

She was played wonderfully! But she could have been played more

Seriously, fabulous actress there for her and they did nothing with her other than her songs and crying while singing them?

The stage production I'm familiar with has more than that with her and less time

Let her be proud and trying to gather herself up

Let her be dubious of herself and/or the others

Let her stand aside as though she doesn't even want to rejoin them after being turned aside

Look there's lots more that could have been done in the space there was with her in the movie (and without involving Victoria so much as she was, which was still a bit cringey outside Victoria's song, but at least not so badly)

She 'went with Macavity'? Felt a little unnecessary and also . . . hrm, to me

The stage show doesn't explain why the Jellicles reject her or where she was

I honestly always assumed she left on her own - Grizabella the Glamour Cat? - to make her own way, and eventually fell from grace

It was also a little strange to see her so young

Deuteronomy making the choice also felt . . . a little flat to me

I'm not sure what I was expecting or what the problem was

Regardless, it felt a little lacking somehow

I was impressed with how they had Grizabella's ascension managed, since that would be necessity be rather different from the stage show

Also great for Misto keeping some of his confidence from his song and rescue for this bit

Macavity trying to leap on and hitch a ride to the Heaviside Layer was excellent, and his getting stuck and having his magic not work to get himself un-stuck? Great

I do wonder - is his magic entirely broken, or just not working to catch his ride on Grizabella's balloon again?

The Ad-Dressing of Cats feels a bit awkward in a stage production to me; having a close-up of Judi Dench staring at me in the movie screen, for an extended time, did not make it better

Also the prologue bits about the naming of cats and what a Jellicle is were both changed and so there was no semblance of something similar in the beginning

I still think it would have been awkward, but if it bracketed the movie with the fourth wall breaks it might have worked better

The faces of the three cats close around Deuteronomy as she recited the entirety of that - which felt too long - were the only things that kept it being too awful

Munkustrap was the best in that

Misto looking horrifically embarrassed a few times and hiding behind his hat once . . . oh baby, I feel

'You're a Jellicle now!'

There's a Jellicle Ball once a year, see you then

So . . . for now, goodbye to your butt that was thrown in a sack into a junkyard we immediately ran away from

Rather than it being the Jellicles' (second, in some cases) home

I know your whole arc has been please accept me, see me, give me a place to be

But run off on your own, see you in a year

Seriously Victoria could have followed Misto, or Munkustrap, or Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer, or anyone

Even Munku's mate could have, say, come up and encouraged Victoria to come with them

Not that we saw enough to assume he had one, still don't know who was supposed to be Demeter, but beside the point

It was a rough ending there

. . .I had a lot to say, and I'm not willing to swear that I didn't repeat myself anywhere - if I did I apologise - or skip over things I might have wanted to say. I saw the movie 24 hours ago and wrote most of this when I should have been asleep.

I did enjoy the movie and will probably watch it again - I also plan to watch the Broadway version again very soon (as soon as the library brings it to me) and have been listening to the Broadway soundtrack since yesterday afternoon.

(I may also be writing more for this fandom soon, but we'll see about that.)

[noddytheornithopod]

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker - Initial Thoughts

So yeah, this is a thing. Of course I’m gonna discuss spoilers in-depth, but I’ll put that under the cut. If you want a spoiler free summary, here:

It's not perfect, and I particularly struggled with the first act and it's really fast pacing (JJ LEARN TO SLOW DOWN), but I'm not gonna pretend I didn't enjoy it overall. As long as you're not attached to certain specific ideas and willing to accept it for what it is, you might like it well enough. That being said, I can already see this is gonna be at least as divisive as TLJ unfortunately.

Okay, first thing’s out of the way: I was aware of the leaks about the film, and I can confirm that they were pretty spot on overall. It sucks 99% of the plot got out, there’s a few moments that thankfully didn’t get mentioned in any leaks I saw, so yeah. Anyway, time to get started.

Okay, yeah, the pacing. Definitely my biggest issue with the film. It’s an issue I have with The Force Awakens’ first act too, but there it at least was able to do enough to establish the characters. Here the story moves along relentlessly. Honestly, for the first act, in fact right until Rey and Kylo Ren’s Kijimi confrontation, I struggled to keep up. So much happened, so much exposition and action I felt like nothing really got to land. There wasn’t any time to breathe or let the characters have more moments. I’m not sure if the Rey/Kylo fight on Kijimi was just a major emotional turning point that finally had me properly hooked, but from there either I finally got into the film’s groove or it actually learned to slow down a bit, at least enough for things to actually land instead of BAM NEW SCENE BAM NEW SCENE.

My other biggest issue with the film is something that unfortunately couldn’t be helped: the handling of Leia. It’s VERY clear they were writing around the cut scenes from The Force Awakens, and how vague and generic her lines were REALLY showed. Because of this, her death scene didn’t really work for me? In fact, I’m not even sure why she chose to reach out to Kylo Ren at that specific point, either it was Force shenanigans feeling it was the right time SOMEHOW knowing he was at a vulnerable point or I really missed something (see this is why you don’t pace things at the speed of light, JJ :V). THAT BEING SAID... I can’t really fault the filmmakers for this, because this is obviously the best they could’ve done without a controversial recasting (especially if they used CGI to make the new actress look like Carrie Fisher). It’s clear this was a really hard job, and I can tell they did the best with what they had.

I mentioned the first act was too fast paced, but I actually really dug the opening with Kylo Ren. Palpatine obviously sensed the First Order had subjugated the galaxy, so it was time for him to come out and reassert control with his secret Sith Fleet, hence the message in the crawl. But yeah, Kylo Ren finding the wayfinder and traveling to Exegol only to discover Palpatine was an excellent sequence that really got things getting exciting.

For specific things here: first, Exegol is an awesome planet. It’s perfectly creepy and the best place for the final showdown to take place. The sound design for the place was particularly great. Visually, it’s all epic. I’m also curious about its history - C-3PO says it’s apparently a Sith Homeworld, though I wonder if this is more like an origin point given Moraband was also a Sith Homeworld. Oh look, I’m being a nerd, lol.

I love how Snoke was handled purely because it’s so hilariously anticlimatic and I can see so many people getting mad at it. Like seriously... Palpatine so casually going “I made Snoke” says SO much. Everyone was making up elaborate theories on who he was and why he’s a thing but in reality, he’s just some dude created in a lab for Palpatine to puppet while he’s gone. :P One has to wonder how Snoke felt about the whole thing, literally being made just to be an interim ruler for former Imperials before Palpatine was ready to return, while also being a powerful Dark Side user himself (wow geez, Palpatine can make super Dark Side users now).

Palpatine himself was definitely one of the best parts of the movie, Ian McDiarmid’s performance alone was worth it. I definitely get why JJ chose to bring him back, I agree it feels appropriate for the main Star Wars villain to have a presence in the new trilogy in some way. For how he comes back, it’s curious. The way he speaks and looks, he’s pretty much dead, Palpatine literally says he died in fact. As for how he’s back, he just says his infamous “the Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities, some to be considered unnatural.” Look, it’s SO on the nose and cheesy, but because I’m a nerd I loved hearing that line again. From how I understand it, he’s basically a weird Dark Side zombie, I mean he has a downright undead appearance. It’s not actually explained how he survived, but I kinda don’t mind that it’s currently mysterious? I have some theories based on EU stuff I might go into later but basically, he’s now Zombietine and he’s somehow ended up on Exegol with his weird Sith cult devotees making Snokes and building the Sith Fleet while influencing what he can from afar. Speaking of which... his “I’m every voice you have ever known” line pretty much confirms it was HIM who was talking to him through Darth Vader’s helmet, not a remnant of Vader himself. Him using Snoke’s voice in that line even makes me wonder how much free will Snoke has, and whether him being a puppet is more literal than we think.

Leia like I said I felt despite doing the best they could it didn’t fully work, but I can see how Leia would’ve tried being a Jedi but decided not to follow through with it. I mean, ghost Luke couldn’t always show up, so Rey would need advice from the closest thing to a remaining Jedi.

Pasana was hectic. Given a lot of the first act was there, that and the Resistance scenes on Ajan Kloss were most of what really rushed. Like, you have potential great moments, but the fast pace means the story needs to move on so nothing can land. There’s attempts at character moments but they don’t have time to breathe. Like, even Lando returning just whisked by because of the pacing.

Lando was good I guess. Not much stuff for him, but what we had was cool I guess. It sounds like he was hunting for a wayfinder with Luke, though I guess one wonder why Luke was looking for Exegol? Was this after he confronted Snoke (see the new Kylo Ren comic, that confirms that was a thing that happened, oh look more nerdy shit only I care about) and was looking for answers on what Snoke was up to, did he just want to make sure the Dark Side wasn’t fucking things up, or was he feeling like something was off? Anyway, Lando: obviously he’s a minor character, but him bringing all the ships at the end was cool.

Much of the stuff on Kijimi was pretty fast up until the lighsabre duel of course, so there was issues there too. Zorri’s introduction sped by so it never really landed, she goes from “maybe I’ll turn you over” to “fine I’ll help” VERY fast. Same with C-3PO’s memory wipe scene - the story does finally start to steady a bit and it did have me feeling things, but it still goes by too fast for it to fully land. Poe and Zorri’s one on one was a bit better, though again Zorri changing her heart so fast doesn’t really work for me.

Thinking about it, I did like Poe’s arc in the movie well enough. It could’ve been smoothed out but I did like how even he was struggling with the forces they were up against, and learned to have hope even in this dire situation. That’s why I like the chat with Zorri - even if her character feels rushed, it did establish Poe’s central arc and we see how that plays out.

Finn I feel like doesn’t have much of an arc here? Like, I know his storyline in The Last Jedi was divisive, but at least he did have a major arc there and had major growth. Here, I guess his arc is concluded, but then he’s just kinda along with the crew? I really liked the scene where he met Jannah and discovered more First Order deserters, but unfortunately that didn’t really end up going anywhere. Finn and Jannah are a cool duo, but in the climactic battle they kinda felt like an afterthought? I mean, even Poe and the ship stuff kinda did, but at least I kinda got what was going on there. With Finn and Jannah it’s just “we’re on Pryde’s Star Destroyer, destroy some shit” and... that’s it? Probably the most interesting thing with Finn in the movie was how open he was to the Force. Like obviously he couldn’t sense it, but he definitely believes in and trusts it, and it makes sense how that helps a lot of decisions he makes, especially after befriending Rey.

Jannah was cool but like I said she doesn’t really get much to do. I think what people will mainly focus on is that final scene with Lando, which was TOTALLY not suggesting Lando’s her dad. It’s a shame, because the First Order deserter stuff could’ve lead to some cool stuff, but I can see the film probably couldn’t fit it in with how much it’s trying to do.

Rose was an afterthought. I didn’t expect her to be in it much so I prepped myself for that, but I was at least happy to see she was still around. :) I wonder about how Finn looked at her at the end though, was that supposed to suggest romantic feelings? Kinda funny given they drop the Finn wanting to tell Rey something plotline, which I suspect was meant to imply romantic feelings?

On the topic of romance, Poe and Zorri, meh. And to literally nobody’s surprise, the queer couple we see is two Resistance women having a kiss at the end. At least one is a character that kinda exists, even if I don’t even know her name and just know she’s important enough to be sooorta recognisable given she was in The Last Jedi? It’s pretty anticlimactic, but nobody was expecting the representation to be significant anyway. :P Still better than Endgame from the sounds of it though.

Okay, I wanna discuss Hux. His role is small, but he’s as pathetic as ever and it’s glorious. So one plot point is that there’s a spy feeding intel to the Resistance, and then when Finn, Poe and Chewbacca are captured on the Star Destroyer above Kijimi we discover... Hux is the spy. He didn’t even have a change of heart and turned good, he simply just hates Kylo Ren. :P Like damn, helping the enemy purely out of spite, that’s something alright. And as soon as the heroes escape, Pryde just knows instantly he’s the spy and shoots him without a second thought. Yep, that’s how Hux goes out. Pryde is just there to be the evil military leader of course, and he works in that part.

Rey definitely was a major force in carrying the film, like of course she is given she’s the central protagonist but her story just holds up the best for me. Probably one of my favourite things about it was that we finally got to properly explore the Dark Side in her, and of course that becomes a big part of her story here. It’s something we’ve seen in the past two films, but here it actually becomes a focus.

Okay, let’s talk about Rey’s family. Specifically, how she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter. I’m sure some people who are VERY attached to the “nobody” thing in The Last Jedi will dislike this no matter what, but I still think it works? I will however say that it’s VERY cheeky how they go “oh your PARENTS are nobodies, but your GRANDFATHER IS A BIG DEAL AND YOUR DAD JUST CHOSE TO FUCK OFF”. Weird cheekiness aside, I guess I don’t mind the reveal because for one, Star Wars is a family saga, so I see how this works into things, plus it helps justify Palpatine’s return? But perhaps more importantly, I think the film still honours the ideas from The Last Jedi in a way - yes, Rey may have found she has a major lineage after all, but said lineage comes from the most evil man in the Universe. However, her ancestry doesn’t define her, her family isn’t important, who SHE chooses to be is. Luke outright says blood isn’t everything. Luke and Leia figured out she was somehow a Palpatine descendant, but accepted her anyway because they saw her potential for good. I will say I hoped the nobody thing stuck to being literally myself, but this is a nice compromise that I can work with and has a nice message to it. Also, I should emphasise this: just because this changes how we might see The Last Jedi, it doesn’t mean that what the film explores and says is meaningless. In fact, I think the film goes out of its way to make sure it still matters even if JJ obviously had his own ideas on where to take the story. Whether she’s nobody or connected to someone significant, Rey’s destiny is her own to forge and its still about her, not who she’s connected to.

There’s also this Ochi dude who was around doing work for Palpatine while he was around, and he killed Rey’s parents. Kylo initially assumed he wanted to kill Rey, but in reality Ochi was meant to bring Rey to Palpatine early.

Luke’s appearances were cool. I’m sure some people who love TLJ and dislike this film might cynically take his “a Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect line” as a diss against TLJ, but you have to remember: TLJ was literally about Luke finding hope and something to believe in again. Of course he’d get over his cynicism, everything he said about the Jedi was right, but TLJ’s point is that instead of just burying everything wrong with the past, we learn from its failures and take what’s still good to form something better. That’s what Rey’s meant to do with the Jedi. And I mean, the reason him catching the lightsabre Rey throws works at all is because of the surprising moment where he tosses it away in TLJ.

So, Kylo Ren. I enjoyed his storyline. Like, even when he discovers Palpatine and is made to serve him, he’s already secretly hoping to get Rey on his side for them to take him out and rule together (presumably as the new Sith Lords?). He’s pretty brutal and evil in a lot of the film. Also... I LOVE how they expanded on the Force connections. I love me some freaky World Between Worlds style space bending shit. Like, they even fight even though they’re on different locations. As for the mask, I’m sure someone has a better read on it but I think with Palpatine back and being made to be subservient to another master, he puts it together to seem more intimidating again even though the cracks show the facade (the cracks are based on Kintsugi, a Japanese art or craft where repaired things have the lines of where they were broken visible to emphasise how things have changed since they were broken... someone can explain it better but yeah). With the Force Dyad, I have to wonder: is it something Snoke specifically created when he bridged their minds and left that connection to fester (as we see it still is there after all given what happens here), or was it something the Force always had with them?

So, the big scene on the Endor moon with Kylo Ren (I assume Kef Bir if it’s really called that is a different moon to the forest one from Return of the Jedi). Rey’s already struggling with the darkness after the vision of her dark self, but she goes pretty dark during her fight. She strikes Kylo down in a moment he doesn’t fight back, and said moment was him sensing Leia’s passing. Like I said, I don’t feel like her death was handled that well, though it could just be circumstance with Carrie Fisher’s passing. It’s oddly meta as well - she seemed to know reaching out to her son would kill her but did it because she believed it would save him. So she kinda fridged... herself???? It’s weird, I’m not sure how to feel about it. Is it really worth dying just for your son who’s running what will become a new Empire? And if she was dying already, they didn’t establish it at all. It just happens out of nowhere. And I mean, at least it works, Kylo Ren still has some heart left and feels sad about his mum, and then we get... Han Solo. They do say it’s a memory, but I wonder if this was Force induced. Even if the Leia stuff doesn’t work for me, I still liked the scene with imaginary Han. It’s very on the nose with its parallels to TFA, but it still works I think. Also let’s be real... Kylo Ren deciding to stop being a space fascist just because his mum died, that’s not exactly the kind of person I would still feel safe around lol.

If Kylo Ren has an actual redemptive moment, it comes later. Honestly, him showing up in the final battle to help Rey against Palpatine was pretty cool. Like I said, he’s only really doing this because mum dying made him sad, but hey at least he’s fighting the bad guys, right? Yeah, I’m sure you can tell I’m not the biggest Kylo Ren fan. I just feel like his internal conflict isn’t that compelling compared to what Anakin went through, who is much easier to empathise with, not to mention Kylo Ren is honestly pure redemption bait compared to Vader, who didn’t even have plans on redemption until he was made Luke’s father, lol. But rambling aside, his stuff in the climax was awesome. Rey giving now Ben Solo the Skywalker lightsabre through their Force connection was one of the coolest moments of the movie, and bam he just wrecks the Knights of Ren the moment he gets a new sabre (after throwing his own one away).

Palpatine in the climax is curious, because I’m not actually sure what his ultimate goal was: was it to be killed off for good by Rey, or did he always count on Ben/Kylo to show up to get the Force Dyad in place to drain their life force to rejuvenate himself? I mean, he seemed to find Leia’s sacrifice incredibly unexpected in how it made Kylo turn away from the Dark Side, so it seems like he was ready to be killed, though TBH it actually sounds like he very well could’ve possessed her. I actually want to know what this whole Sith thing is about. He says that all the Sith that have ever lived live on through him, which I guess is something that started with the Rule of Two given it follows that philosophy. The apprentice kills their master, but their master and all subsequent masters have what’s left of them transferred into them. It’s an eerie way Darth Bane can still be around for the day the Sith rule the galaxy. Still, I have to wonder how it works. For someone like Rey who wasn’t an actual Sith, it sounds like all the Sith souls would’ve corrupted her, or Palpatine would outright possess her. I know most people don’t care about this nerdy stuff, but I do so lol. This whole Sith souls thing is intriguing and I look forward to EU stuff exploring it more. I want to know if it’s like Rey and her reaching out for the Jedi souls, or the Sith literally all pile up into this monstrosity and the master becomes a single entity.

Anyway yeah, Palpatine drains Rey and Ben to rejuvenate himself so he can live again. This is the exact kind of creepy Dark Side stuff I’m here for. Ben tries to stop him, but he’s thrown down a chasm. Sheev immobilises the entire Resistance fleet, but Rey is able to draw in his attention, and when she uses both the Skywalker and Leia’s lightsabres she calls on the souls of past Jedi to give her the power to defeat Palpatine (something foreshadowed at the start where she tries to reach voices of past Jedi). So there’s lots of juicy cameos for sharp eared listeners. First, we hear Obi-Wan saying a homage to his TFA line, but with final instead of first steps. We hear LOTS of Jedi, but I was just happy we heard Anakin. I would’ve liked him to have a bigger appearance, sure, but I’m happy he existed at all. He says something like “bring balance again, just as I did”, which is pretty cool, and further cements Anakin as The Chosen One. It’s just Sheev refusing to stay truly dead caused another fuckup that Rey needed to solve. This arguably could change how one reads the Chosen One prophecy, but it still works with it being Anakin. Rey is stopping the Sith from being revived because as I said, Palpatine is basically a zombie and arguably not even really alive. I’m sure one could argue it’s changed, and Yoda DID say the prophecy could’ve been misread, but I’m sure it might feed interesting discussions... I just hope they’re not shitty toxic ones like we always get. For me, the coolest moment was when it concluded with QUI-GON JINN. You know, the Jedi who started it all. Look, Jedi voices is obviously fanservice, but this is fanservice I eat up like the hopeless nerd I am. :V We also heard non-movie Jedi like Kanan (I got so excited when I saw him in the credits I had to explain to the guy next to me my outburst lol), and it seems even ex-Jedi like Ahsoka were included. Given these are Jedi who are supposed to have passed on into the Cosmic Force, I have to say this doesn’t look good for Ahsoka. Not sure if Ezra was in there either, but if he was, then welp indeed. I’m officially worried for them, and whatever evil plans Dave Filoni has for them.

So yeah Rey beats Sheev, but it takes the life out of her to do so. BUT WAIT... BEN SOLO LIVES. Well, for now. Not gonna lie, I got excited when I saw him climb out of that chasm, I was like YEAH GO SAVE REY MAN. I literally heard someone cheer when he climbed out too. Rey of course did the Force healing thing on him before (and earlier on a serpent creature), but to bring her back Ben uses that same ability at the cost of his own life. But before he dies... Rey kisses him. Okay Reylos, you win. Not gonna lie though... I actually didn’t mind that moment? *raises internet hate mob shields* Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suddenly a Reylo convert so no need to cancel me or whatever you guys do, but for what it was, I didn’t mind it? Ben comes back knowing he’s going to probably die saving Rey, but does it anyway. When I said I feel like his true redemptive moment comes later than moping about Leia, this is what I meant. Before, he joined Rey to not betray his mother’s ideals and because of his connection with her. But now, he knows he’s a goner but wants her to live so he sacrifices his life to revive her. Like, this is a proper selfless act. He probably thinks she deserves to live more than he does after the shit he’s put everyone though anyway. It also averted my biggest concern with the Reylo thing - I was worried that it would end up making Rey’s story about saving Ben Solo like all the fan theories wanted, but here it was still firmly Rey’s story. If anything, Ben came to serve her story by letting her live on lol. So yeah, Reylo happened for like a minute... I somehow expect BOTH sides of the debate to be angry. The hardcore Reylos and “Bendemption” people will be upset because Ben dies, but the anti-Reylo people will hate it because Reylo happens at all, even for a second. And here I am, who’s just here like “that was a nice sweet moment plus yeah I want Rey to live over Ben lol”.

Okay, I should say that the whole climax got me smiling. From all the ships across the galaxy arriving to help to Rey getting power from past Jedi, to them melting away Palpatine (yeah he’s not surviving literal disintegration from force lighting deflected with the help of dead Jedi lol), to them taking out the Sith Fleet and everyone celebrating, it just was happy and more importantly, hopeful. Look, I get why people might not be into this movie, but I was genuinely giddy during this climax of not just a film or trilogy, but a now nine part saga (and yes it’s definitely staying as a nine part Skywalker Saga after Ben died, Rey only takes the name to honour the past). It really did feel like a big epic finale. Sure, like I said some of the stuff in the battle could’ve been fleshed out more, but the dumb nerd part of me enjoyed the epicness of it and its climax anyway.

The final scene was nice I guess. Rey finding an identity for herself she feels secure in, and the Luke and Leia ghosts was nice. Also the yellow lightsabre’s first film appearance signalling something new to come.

D-O was there I guess. Didn’t focus much on him and BB-8. C-3PO of course had a fair bit going on and his memory wipe did have some emotional impact even if we recover quickly because FAST PACE. R2 had some nice moments, I felt bad for him when 3PO didn’t recognise him actually, though of course R2 backs up whatever memories he has left of him (IDK what memories R2 had though). I wonder why C-3PO had a thing in his memory blocking him from translating Sith runes though.

Yeah, okay, there were a few fanservicey moments, I already mentioned some of course. Some felt like natural parallels but just with JJ’s lack of subtlety, there were a few that felt on the nose, but many were genuinely fun. Since it’s not just Return of the Jedi 2.0 but a new story that still has a few parallels (naturally, I need to dig for the ROTS and Phantom Menace ones next), it doesn’t feel as in your face as The Force Awakens which called back to so much of A New Hope and the Original Trilogy. But I mean, stuff like the Wedge cameo was cool (though ouch his son in law is dead, JJ killed off one of his best friends in Snap Wexley lol). IDK what the Tantive IV is back, but hey I can work with it. Since it’s capping off the whole saga, it calls back to all three trilogies and doesn’t hyperfocus on just one so it feels less over the top, to me anyway (or maybe my Prequel bias is showing lol).

So yeah... definitely not a perfect film, with a pretty rough first act, but I don’t think it’s a disaster like some people see it as. Could some things have been handled better? Definitely. Would I have preferred George Lucas’ ideas for the Sequel Trilogy instead despite them probably having less popular appeal? Yeah, I’m a weirdo, I know. But look, I went into this film simply wanting to enjoy it for what it was. And for what it was, I’d say it was mostly good. Sure, there’s rough patches, but the good parts are really good.

[booksandwords]

Meet Cute: Some People Are Destined to Meet (Anthology)

Read time: 10 Day Rating: 4/5

Contains stories by Katie Cotuguo, Nina LaCour, Ibi Zoboi, Katherine McGee, Sara Shepard, Meredith Russo, Dhonielle Clayton, Emery Lord, Jennifer L. Armentrout, Jocelyn Davies, Kass Morgan, Julie Murphy, Huntley Fitzpatrick and Nicola Yoon

Overall Thoughts So I will start by saying I enjoyed this collection. There is a bit of something for everyone the couples are M/M, M/F and F/F, one of the main characters is trans. There are different time settings, different writing styles and the meet-cutes appear at different points in the stories. IOn the writing styles I think it is important to know that they run the gambit of perspectives (1st, 2nd and 3rd). The stories are charmingly brief (20-25 page each) making it a great palette cleanser or pick up put down book. Now here's the but. Meet Cute really needed an introduction. Either whoever at Alloy collated it or whoever bought the authors together. Due to the diversity within the stories, I was wondering what the brief was. Even just a definition of a meet-cute would have been better than nothing. One other issue I had was that all the meet-cutes were implicitly or explicitly coded as romantic. I would have really liked one that was just a friendship or someone to tackle an ace protagonist. Standout stories: Click, Oomph, Say Everything.

Siege Etiquette by Katie Cotuguo This is a Queen Bee (Hailey) and Farm Boy (Wolf) hiding kinda from the cops in a bathroom. They have shared pasts, misunderstandings abound and there is a definite attraction. It's written in 1st person for only one person (Hailey's) something I don't read a lot but it works. It's an interesting premise well-executed in less than twenty pages. I can see where it could go if it was longer but it works really well at this length.

Print Shop by Nina LaCour It's Evie's first day at a new job, it's not what she expected but she is trying to make the best of it. One of the jobs given to her is setting up social media for the print shop. Lauren is a disgruntled customer. Evie identifies as queer and she has one of the most adorable coming out stories, it was essentially an accident. Nina LaCour has an engaging style. Her story is a meeting of worlds, a meeting of times. It's the perfect length and frames itself well.

Hourglass by Ibi Zoboi Hourglass focuses on Cherish, an African American girl living in a town where there are only 4 other African American families. It is set at the end of her senior year, right before prom. Hourglass is less about the meet-cute and more about female friendship and the end of an era. That is not to say the meet-cute isn't sweet, it is and it challenges some norms and expectations. I was sort of disappointed with Hourglass. I like Cherish. I wanted to know more, I wanted to see what choices she made. Or at a bare minimum, I want to see her rock that dress.

Click by Katherine McGee Click is fantastic. Unlike some of the other stories, it feels entirely self-contained and uses an alternating perspective. The main characters are the hurting and technologically inclined Alexa and the creative Raden, those alignments alone deserve applause. I feel like there is some inspiration taken from not only real-world dating apps but Scythe. It just made me happy. It's a hopeful story with endearing characters.

The Intern by Sara Shepard The main characters are slightly eccentric rock star Phineas and Clara the daughter of a celebrity and not what her father expects. Clara is involuntarily interning at her father's record label for the summer. Phineas and Clara meet as part of her role at V. It's a simple story about how two young people spend a day finding out each other in New York. Honestly, I got The Sun Is Also A Star vibes. It's not bad, it just feels a bit unoriginal and there aren't enough details given for me to really enjoy it.

Somewhere That's Green by Meredith Russo Somewhere That's Green is an opposite attract story. Nia is a young trans woman struggling with having her community acknowledge her identity. Lexie is a Christian girl at her school who appears to be leading the charge to have her use the male facilities rather than the female ones. While I appreciate Nia and Lexie I have issues with Meredith Russo's writing. Meredith Russo is a trans woman with that in mind her writing feels overly cliche and perhaps wasteful. It is a very personal opinion. The story isn't bad, I enjoyed it, I just wish there was something more real about it.

The Way We Love Here by Dhonielle Clayton This is a reasonably clever play on the red string of fate but also uses time travel elements. It's another wonderful, hopeful story with unexpected protagonists. The artistic, driven Viola and the creative but sick Sebastian. Its focus is the possibilities and alternatives life can offer. I would like to know where Dhonielle Clayton drew their inspiration from the setting is on an isolated island which you cannot leave, it all feels very mythological both using eastern and western elements. I really enjoyed it.

Oomph by Emery Lord Oomph is super sweet and the perfect amount of nerdy. The main ladies use Natasha Romanov and Peggy Carter as nicknames, well actually names. They are in an airport waiting for flights. It's very cliche but it's a cliche for a reason. It's just so good. The smores are brilliant. I loved the writing, it's funny and cute.

The Dictionary of You and Me by Jennifer L. Armentrout I'm nopeing all the way out of this one. I have issues. I'm a librarian and this is all kinds of bad and just annoying stereotypes that push my buttons. Basically, I know too much and I can't turn my brain off. It is kind of cute but it is also kind of creepy. Essentially she is a librarian and he is a patron with an overdue dictionary. When she rings him to try and get the book back they flirt. I just can't not see how wrong it is.

The Unlikely Likelihood of Falling in Love by Jocelyn Davies This is another one with perhaps reverse archetypes. She is a math nerd, he is a musician. The plot revolves around her mathematical inclination and a final assessment. Their meet-cute really is adorable and the thing of daydreams, eyes meeting through train carriage windows. Sam urns it into an exercise in probabilities which is adorable. I do like Sam, the plot and the ending. The writing is well suited to the character which is in and of itself isn't easy.

259 Million Miles by Kass Morgan 259 Million Miles focused on missed opportunities with a side of social conscious. The main characters, Philip and Blythe, are likeable and human. It is truly standalone and doesn't ask for more. The ending brings out mixed emotions as one wants from a story dealing with humanity. But it was nice to have a story that was basically a locked room, a true two people put together with only one thing in common. Though in the battle of the futuristic meet-cutes, it loses to Click... easily.

Something Real by Julie Murphy This is the only review I'm spoiler warning so see my Goodreads for this bit.

Say Everything by Huntley Fitzpatrick This is such a well written and unexpected story. But I don't know if it is a meet-cute, there is too much history there. Emma is a fantastic character, I appreciate her resilience and forthrightness. Sean is well, Sean is something. But Emma is an unreliable narrator. The story is written in 2nd person, the only one in the book written as such. Like the book of quotes idea popularised by A Walk to Remember The Book of Lost Opportunites sounds like a brilliant idea. It is such a strong story though, at least to me.

The Department of Dead Love by Nicola Yoon This is the perfect last story, the perfect last line. It is a visually stunning story that plays on some unexpectedly heavy ideas. While I was torn on the three central characters I loved the writing and world. Nicola Yoon has a way with words that evokes emotion.

[kamamo1]

Ok so my Barry Allen relationship post blew up again, and thanks I guess, so I'm compelled to talk about this more. So here's more analysis on Barry's love interests from the comics that most people tend to forget.

Barry swings from kinda of being a dork/flustered/oblivious about flirting/relationships to being cool as a cucumber, calm, emotionally mature and knows what he wants... So his love interests are all over the place

Zatanna - often flirted with him, they kissed and had wild adventures during one of her shows, Barry was the first one she showed her new outfit too when she was trying to redefine herself, which lead them to make out in the Watchtower, Barry calls her Tanna, and Barry said once that when he looked at her he forgot the face of every girl he met before. They might have been lovers but they both hesitant on starting a full relationship, probably because the writer conveniently remembered Barry was seeing someone else in his personal comic. They need to interact again even if its strictly platonic because it was a fun dynamic

Daphne Dean - was a childhood sweetheart of Barry's and they used to play games as kids with Barry dressed up as the Flash. They were the talk of the town apparently and while they kept in touch, Daphne went on to be a famous actress and Barry headed off to Central City.

They have an on and off relationship, Daphne's PR tries to capitalize on the childhood romance for Daphne's image and she usually goes along with to a certain extent but only till it hits her that 'yeah I'm actually still in love with him' and puts her foot down, Barry usually remains oblivious to all this. Barry helps her out with kidnappers, and old stalker from their childhood, and she helped him out with an issue with Golden Glider. Their flirting ranged from remenicing 'the good old days' to later acknowledging that 'yes I am flirting with you and you are flirting with me' no hesitation

Dinah Lance - Mostly out of the JLA Year One run from Post Crisis. Pre-Crisis they were mostly just teammates, Barry knew her from Black Canary Golden Age comics, and called her pretty bird or bird lady-but then most of her teammates did.

They flirted back and forth in JLA Year One, but Dinah was hesitant to start anything because she didn't want to be like her mother and have an affair with another hero. They kissed before realizing Dinah loves being Black Canary too much and Barry loves being both Flash and Barry, but the romance was still there even though they kept it platonic. I just wish they would interact again because they had a fun friendship.

Meena Dhawan - I wish another writer would pick this character up because I have not liked anything out of the new Flash run, which is a shame bec I want to care about this character. Meena was one of the new speedsters out of the Joshua Williamson's first Flash arc where he tried to do what Manapul did but worse.

She is a scientist who is helps out the people who got caught in the SpeedForce storm and of course Barry gets all heart eyes about it. They offhandedly flirt and then kiss in a spam of two issues where Barry then reveals his identity which is kinda a big deal because his secret identity has always been super important to him in the past, and then Meena is seemingly killed by Godspeed, who callously says that Barry shouldn't even care because they barely knew each other. Meena comes back in a weird way, everyone's weary at first and then it revealed she is working for the bad guys and the last time I checked she is in prison so yeah...

Jessica Cruz - I didn't expect writer to try to go in a romantic direction with these two because they started out with a pretty solid friendship. Jessica is thrown into the superhero world due to the Power Ring and Barry helps her out in fights/control/ talks her down and gets ice cream. So it was like a mentor/student dynamic except not really because they're equal standing characters, kinda going back to when Barry had the same dynamic with Firestorm and Elongated Man.

Jessica saves Barry's life at the cost of her own, but dont worry she's fine! They dance around and then go on a date, and it's kinda cute before plot happens. An alternative reality reveals that they had three kids together, an older daughter named Nora, and twins Jason and Jenny. Nora takes after her father in regards to powers and the twin take after Jessica's powers as well, but their emotions connected to their powers overwhelms them sometimes. The kids are adorable and Barry/Jessica with the kids are even more adorable

Patty Spivot - originally just a friend and coworker, showed up around the late 70s, the time Barry has been married to Iris for awhile. They were just work buddies, and Barry mentioned once about her and a man named Daniel so it's not like she had a secret crush on him. They take turns buying donuts, complain about work, etc. <--And look a completely platonic relationship between a slightly older man and a younger woman with no weird undertones! Then Geoff Johns happens and he implies that Patty and Barry knew eachother when Barry started out at the lab, and that they danced around eachother before Barry and Iris started dating.

Then in New 52, Barry and Patty are dating, and it had it's cute moments but it felt like writers were spinning their wheels because they had to tease out the Barry/Iris relationship, and honestly if your heart isn't in it, you should have just kept it platonic.

Fiona Webb - <---Barry's fiancee and would have his second/third wife. Her real name was Beverly Lewis, and had to be put in witness protection after she learned too much about her former employer. Barry meets her a year after Iris' death when he is moving on with his life, and moving into Utopia Towers as her next door neighbor.

Their first meeting goes like this: Barry thinks about the lonely nights ahead of him and stops midthought when he sees her with a 'yiyiyi'. He says it looks like she walked out of a dream, flusteredly tried to introduce himself but she kinda brushed him off. Fiona acts cold to Barry at first but she eventually warms up to him after he helps her out with the issue of her former employer. They became friends and have a little friend group with their other neighbor Mack Nathan and his son. They dance around eachother a lot, but eventually go on a lot of romantic dates. Barry calls her 'Green Eyes' and she doesn't take any of his bs.

Their relationship is on and off due to Barry's relationship with Z and Daphne and Fiona relationship with the Senator she works for. The Senator is conveniently the new villain that's been targeting the criminals of Central City, so he kidnaps her and Barry has to rescues her. They're together again after that whole fiasco, but have to deal with drama of criminals coming after them because Fiona is still in witness protection and Barry makes enemies as part of CCPD. There was no big proposal scene, Barry casually asks her how she feels about June Weddings and she says why wait and they plan the wedding pretty quick. I think it was stated it was three years after they met?

So they have a quick wedding, Firestorm mentions he's upset that the Justice League wasn't invited but to be fair its all pretty sudden. Barry's friends from work come, Ralph also attends, Mack Nathan etc, Wally tries to sneak in late. Barry is determined not to be late like always so he heads out to the church, almost forgets the ring but has a good laugh about it until surprise!!! Eobard Thawne comes back from being missing for years.

Thawne has Barry chase him all over the world putting people in danger so Barry cant catch up to him, while he does his evil monologue. Fiona is getting extremely frustrated and embarrassed, thinks she's being stood up. Thawne reveals he planning on killing Fiona and Barry freaks out. Just as Fiona walks out the door crying Thawne races to put his hand through her head and Barry stops him by grabbing at his neck. Barry instantly goes over comfort Fiona, not realizing what happened.

Due to the audience of the whole scene he can't reveal he's actually Barry and Fiona is still super upset. Thawne is revealed to be dead, the Flash is put on Trial for murder, Barry Allen is missing/presumed dead, and Fiona has a breakdown due to all this trauma conga line. Barry just wants to take her away with him but with the upcoming Trial he realizes he can never have a normal life again after this.

The trial eventually takes a turn for the worse, Barry's lawyer Cecile tells him to reveal his identity so that the court knows that he was only trying to save his fiancee from the fate of his first wife, but Barry refuses, stating that if he goes to prison then at least Fiona won't be in more danger because of him. Its obvious through this arc that Barry and Fiona still love eachother but both are in a real bad place right now.

And I have to say this was some interesting drama that DC never resolved or followed through with, and just outright ignored, which is a shame because Barry and Fiona was another interesting relationship that fell to the wayside due to poor writing or just a general lack of interest in the Flash's supporting cast

[nellie-elizabeth]

Suits: Stalking Horse (8x15)

This was a pretty great episode of Suits, but I do have a couple of things I need to discuss.

Cons:

I'm rapidly becoming super irritated with the Donna/Harvey back-and-forth. I wish they would just put a bow on that and end it, or else just let them be together if that's the direction we're going. All of the drama of this situation could have been achieved without the faint hints of unresolved romantic tension between these two characters.

Also, this wasn't just a matter of Donna choosing herself over the firm. It wasn't some personal victory she achieved by making the right call for her. She broke privilege. She used her privileged information to help her boyfriend, and not only did Harvey lose a client over it, he's also being sued by Daniel Hardman. Like, it's hard to think of a more serious consequence for Donna's actions in this case. This was a big, big screw-up and it feels like the kind of thing that should honestly get Donna fired.

I thought the flashbacks with Donna and her mom were fine, but they didn't really add anything to the story or to my understanding of the characters. The choice that Donna had to make wasn't informed by her mother's decision years ago, even though that's what the episode was trying to push.

There's also the fact that the entire scenario of this main plot thread doesn't make a lick of sense. This show has this hilarious tendency to talk about "waiving privilege" as if that means that suddenly it's cool to represent both sides in a deal. What it really means is something a lot more complicated and restrictive than that. An actual law firm would never find itself in this position in the first place. It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, and I know this show has never been concerned with accuracy, but still. I can't help but notice these things.

Pros:

You'll notice that all of my "cons" are about the main plot. Before I jump to the subplots, I will say that I still like the idea of Donna and Thomas, and I still find myself hoping that we're not just going to jump right in to a Harvey/Donna romance. It feels really forced at this point, and I'd just as soon not go there. Even though the specific situation makes Donna seem incompetent, I do like the concept of her standing up for herself instead of putting Harvey first like she always does. If there's one central theme for Donna's character, that's it.

Also, seeing Daniel Hardman walk through the door at the end was a serious punch to the gut, in the best possible way. He's the only Big Bad that Suits is ever going to have, and bringing him back now is the perfect way to up the stakes before next week's finale. I'm stoked!

In subplot news, we've got Louis taking the stand against the man who mugged him back at the start of this season. I had sort of forgotten about that, so it was interesting to see that plot element come back in such an interesting way. We think of Samantha as someone who's willing to cross lines, but it's important to notice the reasoning behind her occasionally ruthless behavior. She crosses those lines in defense of people she cares about, and this week, we see how much Samantha cares about Louis. I'm glad that she didn't do the sketchy thing she was planning on, but blackmailing someone is still pretty hardcore. I'm wondering if Samantha and Louis are going to have to pay for their behavior later, or if this really will put the whole thing to rest.

I like the way this episode framed Louis in terms of his love for his family, and his fear over what had happened to him. He did a good service by identifying his attacker in a lineup, and by taking the stand against him, but it's clear that it took some bravery to do so. When things backfire, it makes sense that Louis would want to bury his head in the sand, but I think Samantha was right at least about one thing: he needed some closure, some peace, after everything he went through. I'm curious if we'll find out more about some of the sketchy stuff that Samantha and Robert got up to back in the day. There was an odd reference to some past shenanigans and I'm honestly not sure if I'm supposed to know what that's about yet or not... but I'm definitely curious!

Brian and Katrina are breaking my heart. This story has been such a highlight for me this season. Turns out, surprise surprise, that Brian and Katrina just can't keep working together, for the sake of Brian's marriage. This was a decision that they already made, but this time Brian is ready to make a clean break and leave the firm entirely. I love the tension here, because if Brian made a different choice and kept working with Katrina, it would be hard to respect him. He's absolutely doing the right thing for his marriage. But Katrina is the woman we've seen him with. We don't know Brian's wife. I'm rooting so much for Katrina's happiness that I'm sad that Brian did the right thing, even though I know he had to. I can't imagine that's the last we'll see of Brian, or at least I hope it's not. Their love story feels very real to me, despite the inherent difficulties.

There are two moments that I want to praise in particular from this subplot. The first is when Brian is telling Katrina that he's leaving. You can just see how much he despairs at giving her the news, and how heartbroken she is to receive it. I love how Katrina squares her shoulders and tells Brian that she respects his decision, even though you know how much pain she's in. The other moment that I really loved was when Louis already knew that Brian was giving his notice, and offered to let him take his first solo client with him when he relocated. Louis can still be his own worst enemy sometimes, but we are seeing how he's growing as a leader. I liked how gentle and understanding he was of Brian in this moment.

And that's that! I had some problems with the main plot of this episode, but to be honest, I still greatly enjoyed the whole thing. Usually I find myself disappointed if we don't get any mentions of Mike (his name did come up once), but this week there was enough to distract me that I didn't even miss him that badly! That's a good sign.

8/10

[fanfictionlive]

Should I add romance to get more views

So I have this DC fanfic with an OC that's an ex-Special Operations super soldier from the Iraq war. It's an action thriller set in Gotham revolving around a plot in which Black Mask is turning Gotham into a trading port for international criminal organizations. My OC is intended to be a vigilante called Hunter Killer who wants to break up the power of criminal organizations. But his rules of engagement are based off of the rules he played by in the Iraq war so he's not quite punisher since he's not trying to kill everyone but rather take out key personnel. This is obviously a source of conflict with Batman. And then I have Red Hood in the middle trying to sort out for himself what's the right way to go about things. Anyways it's undergoing a division a very tough revision since it got almost no views but I really enjoyed it. So there's also a lack of helpful reviews making this a very personal endeavor.

I have noticed OC stories in DC and stories in general that feature romance do better than those without. So one thing I am considering introducing a romance element into the story. Now it should be noted I've never written and posted romance. My work is really oriented around a plot that revolves around themes of war or constantly begging the question where is the line drawn in the pursuit of justice, do the ends justify the means, or some other statement on society. And usually, I won't give a flat out answer and leave it up to the reader. But I feel doing that is pointless if it's not drawing in readers.

So that leads me to conclude I've got to include a romantic side plot to draw people in. And maybe it lightens the mood up between intense scenes as well. So far here's what I've considered from that. Either Red Hood and Artemis as the side plot since the setting is based on the early days of the Red Hood rebirth run. But there are differences with elements drawn from all sorts of continuities with my Batman based off the Dark Knight trilogies take. I was also thinking of my character with Huntress or adding Katana in since those are vigilantes who lean closer to his side of the moral spectrum. However, I've read a lot of fics with OCs paired with characters and a lot of them I will say I find ridiculous. Without bashing I'll just say it just feels like the main characters often have everything going for them and are just kind of put into these pairings with justification for why it works. Or it's very sexualized. And honestly, I'm pretty sure any sexual activity at all in the story would draw too much attention away for the main point. However, I feel that may be expected with an M rating even though it's M for everything but sexual activity. So OC pairings with in-universe characters have a bad taste in my mouth.

Or should I do both romantic side plots. Could this possibly draw in a bigger crowd?

But calling out to people who either read or write romance plots. What are things to avoid and do? Things you dread seeing and things you quite enjoy. And while still not distracting too much from the central plot I already have going. Because while I would be incorporating this into the story the main plot about the ethics of vigilantism and what means are necessary is still the most important part of this work. Also, a final question are there those who think I shouldn't include any form of a romantic side plot and keep it action-centric and look for another outlet where viewers are more likely to read that.

submitted by /u/NotTheFifthBeetle [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans http://bit.ly/2ZZTRIs

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Acts of Sacrifice

by Dan H

Monday, 13 August 2007Dan H on Harry Potter, Aslan, and John Sheridan

I still, technically, have a weblog, although I haven't updated it in over a year.

One of the things I wrote about when I still did update it was the movie version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardobe. In particular, I felt that it was interesting that in movie!Narnia the Salvation of Narnia was supposed to come from the Pevensies, whereas in book!Narnia and BBCAdaptation!Narnia it was very much supposed to come from Aslan.

I don't think it was conscious, but this subtle change pretty much destroyed the underlying moral message, and the underlying emotional impact of the book. Incidentally it also undermines the original Christian message, but religion isn't really what I'm interested in for the purposes of this article.

In the movie, Aslan sacrifices himself to save Edmund, and the strong implication is that he does so because otherwise the Prophecy would not be fulfilled, and the Four Kings and Queens would not be able to Save Narnia and the White Witch would win. In the movie, Aslan makes a sensible strategic decision. His life for the lives of everybody else in Narnia.

In the book, however, the exact opposite is true. It is Aslan, not the four children, who is the key to driving back the White Witch. When Aslan dies on the round table he is not only sacrificing himself, he is sacrificing Narnia itself, and he is doing it purely for the sake of one rather horrible little boy. Again I should briefly mention that this is rather central to the Christian message: Jesus was not one man dying for many, he was God dying for You.

As you probably remember, I've just come from an epic slog through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. One of the things that sat most awkwardly about that book was Harry's "sacrifice" at the end. Like movie!Aslan Harry makes a strictly Utilitarian decision: by his death he can weaken Lord Voldemort, and therefore achieve his goals (or, perhaps more precisely, the goals of that manipulative fucker Albus Dumbledore).

Perhaps I'm just selfish, but I genuinely don't see that as any kind of meaningful sacrifice. Both Aslan and Harry reach the decision that they can, by their deaths, further the goals they are working towards better than they can by remaining alive. It's just resource management. It certainly isn't heroism. It most definitely isn't Christ-like, despite Harry's miraculous resurrection and the revelation that his death broke the power of Lord Voldemort and redeemed Hogwarts.

There's an episode of Babylon Five, which I don't actually like very much (because it's very, very heavy handed) which actually highlights this point remarkably well. In the episode Comes the Inquisitor, the Vorlons send a man named Sebastian to B5, and Sebastian proceeds to torture the hell out of John Sheridan in an effort to get him to admit that he is unworthy of his destiny.

So Sheridan gets zapped, Delenn shows up, so the Inquisitor zaps both of them, and they do the traditional: "Wait! Don't kill my romantic interest! Kill me instead!" speech.

Here's where it gets interesting, where the distinction is drawn between the sacrifices of Movie!Aslan and Harry Potter, and the kind of sacrifice that actually has a meaning.

How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame... for one person. In the dark. Where no one will ever know or see. I've been in the service of the Vorlons for centuries, looking for you. Diogynes with his lamp looking for a man willing to die for all the wrong reasons.

Now okay, it's a bit preachy, it's a bit JMS, and ultimately I'm in no way convinced that Sheridan actually displays the qualities which Sebastian attributes to him, but I think it recognises something which both the Narnia movie and the Potter books failed to recognise. It is easy for a fictional character to sacrifice themselves for an objectively defined Greater Good. Defeating Voldemort or the White Witch are obviously big important endeavours and they require that people make sacrifices. But it's precisely because those tasks are so vast that the decision to sacrifice oneself in their service is ultimately meaningless. If your destiny (sorry, "Destiny") is to die, then dying is really your only option, whether you go to your doom with your head held high or blubbing like a little girl is ultimately meaningless. In the Potterverse the vaunted Gryffindor courage is little more than a good old British stiff upper lip: putting a brave face on it while you do whatever it is you were intending to do anyway.

I should probably take a step back here and say that I'm very much talking about fictional characters here. Real people have survival instincts, they have millennia of evolution telling them to save their own skins. In the real world, a soldier going into battle, a policeman tackling an armed criminal, or an aid worker working in a warzone are all showing tremendous courage, even heroism, just by going about their daily lives. A fictional hero, though, has to be more than that. A hero must, by definition, not just be doing his job. A hero who is also a solider must do things which the ordinary soldier is not called upon to do, and ordinary soldiers are regularly called upon to lay down their lives for a cause.

The test which Sebastian places before Sheridan is a simple one, but one which cuts to the heart of what "sacrifice" really means. He does not ask "what will you sacrifice for your destiny" he asks "what won't you sacrifice for your destiny" or to put it another way "what will you give up your destiny to protect."

I think it's actually a very important question for any "hero" to ask. A hero is generally working towards some higher goal, and they will often make tremendous sacrifices in pursuit of that goal. The greatest sacrifice a hero can make, therefore, is not their life, but the very goal towards which they have struggled for so long. When your entire live has been devoted to something, dying for it is a small step, giving it up is what takes real moral courage.

The death of a fictional character is meaningful only insofar as it affects the narrative afterwards. When a fictional character sacrifices their life, the sacrifice only has meaning if it does not directly further their wider goals. Otherwise it's just a play, a strategic manoeuvre. Being dead but getting your way is infinitely preferable for a fictional character than being alive and losing.

When Lily Potter sacrifices herself to protect baby Harry, that's heroic. But her sacrifice is meaningful precisely because it is futile. From the Utilitarian mindset which governs Harry's later sacrifice, or the sacrifice of movie!Aslan, it's a completely stupid thing to do. As far as Lily is concerned, Harry is going to die no matter what she does, so really she should have just cut her losses and saved herself. Her sacrifice had power because she wasn't trying to achieve anything by it, she was just making a moral stand: no matter what, she wasn't going to stand aside and let her son be murdered.

In fact, one might almost say that the sacrifice of a fictional hero (as opposed to a real person doing a difficult and thankless job) is powerful only if it is ultimately futile. Its meaning resides in its very meaninglessness. It has to have a purity of intent, a simple moral decision that this line cannot be crossed, that this injustice cannot be borne, and all the "greater good" can go hang. The sequence in Pan's Labyrinth, in which the doctor administers a fatal injection to a captured solider who would otherwise be tortured is a fine example of this. This single act of mercy costs him his life, and it costs the rebels their doctor, but achieves nothing except the end of one man's suffering.

So for me, the most resounding moment of heroism in Harry Potter is not when he goes off to let Voldemort kill him, thereby destroying the chunk of Plot which resides in Harry's very soul. Rather, Harry's one moment of redemption in my eyes was when he flew into the burning Room of Requirement to rescue Draco Malfoy. Here he risks not only his life but his entire Destiny in order to save his worst enemy.

Unfortunately, Harry's principles are not always so unwavering. He happily uses Unforgivable Curses at little or no provocation, whenever it becomes convenient to his Quest, and it is his devotion to the Quest we are expected to admire, not his loyalty to any actual people (which is, let's face it, negligible).

I don't mean to single Potter out here. I think there's a general tendency in modern fiction to praise those who put the "big picture" ahead of the troubles of individual people. It seems to be seen, nowadays, as worthier to be concerned with large scale issues like destroying the Dark Lord than with small scale issues, like how many lives you wreck along the way.

Were I in the mood to make a trite political point, I might be inclined to draw parallels between this modern brand of heroism, and the attitude of a number of modern governments to problems like - say - international terrorism. So long as you take down the Dark Lord it doesn't matter what methods you use to get to him.

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Wardog

at 10:38 on 2007-08-14Hmmm...interesting, very interesting. *strokes goatee* Actually, it occurs to me that Harry's Big Deal is that he supposedly understands LOVE unlike Lord V. And that his sacrifice is, you know, this amazing, jesus-like act of LOVE. But surely the point of love is that it's personal and small-scale. I mean, it's LOVE that inspires the Malfoys to say "fuck this war and everything else, we're saving our son." If I had a son and he was walking off to lay down his life before a nose-less super-villain (and by, super, in this context I mean inept) I'd probably be all "Son, son, run away to Australia, you can live with Hermione's parents, go, go now." I wouldn't be saying "Hey, kid, death is fun. You're being really brave." LOVE is another one of those weird double-thinks, it's the ultimate selfish emotion that, nevertheless, inspires selfless acts. Thus Lily Potter dying for her son. Not Lily Potter grinning happily that the son she *gave her life to protect* is about to *fling his own away*.

Similarly, you'd think LOVE would not gather around Harry

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Wardog

at 11:01 on 2007-08-14Also I have to wonder if the 7th book was trying to ship RAB/Kreacher, just because it occurs to me that drinking the Killing Juice himself was an insanely noble sacrifice, especially when Kreacher survived it and, in fact, had suffcieint dodgy plot-hole house elf magic to be able to get them both out of the cave again. Also to lay down your life for an attempt to kill your house elf strikes me as ... well ... is that LOVE do you think?

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Arthur B

at 12:28 on 2007-08-14I think the general rule with Harry Potter books is that "if the fans think they can discern a relationship between characters which is not specifically stated in the text to be a relationship, they are Wrong because they are trying to corrupt the Holy Writ of Rowling".

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Wardog

at 16:52 on 2007-08-14I don't know, I think there's definitely something going on between RAB and Kreacher... Greater love hath no man than he who is willing to lay down his life for house elf... Oh, sorry, we're talking about Rowling here so that should be LOVE.

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Jen Spencer

at 14:46 on 2007-08-15My current favourite source of heroism: David Sumner in Straw Dogs. He is willing to fight the pack of maniac locals to the death because he will not stand by and let them lynch a slightly retarded murderer, and he certainly will not let them violate the sanctity of his home (again) to do it. You go dude!

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Wardog

at 10:36 on 2007-08-16I haven't seen Straw Dogs, I'm afraid it's another one of those movies that would upset me. I gotta comfort zone and I'm sticking in it, dammit.

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant/Review: Ready Player One --aka-- Just Watch Wrinkle in Time Instead...

I don’t usually hate movies. 

I know that seems backwards considering that this blog is me complaining and ranting incoherently about movies I don’t like, but very few movies leave me seething. Even all of the Detective Conan movies, which are mostly terrible pieces of garbage, I don’t necessarily hate. Red Crimson Letters is a terrible waste of time and energy, but I wasn’t insulted or felt talked down to. It was just a really bad movie I wanted to talk about.

In my life, there have only been three movies who have truly enraged me. “Batman v Superman,” “Joy,” and “War for the Planet of the Apes.” 

Objectively, there are aspects that are genuinely good in all of them and are definitely better than I probably give them credit for...but I doubt it, but they just flare up an anger in me for one reason or another. They’re permanently on my “fuck that movie” list. And now…now there’s another entrant to that prestigious list.

Ready Player One.

My GOD. THIS was the book everyone’s been talking about? THIS is supposed to be the fucking bible of pop culture?! THIS MOVIE?! THE ONE THAT UNIRONICALLY HAS THE PHRASE SPOKEN BY HUMAN VOCAL CHORDS “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER?!!” ARE YOU GUYS--…ok. Ok, I need to calm down. 

There are several, several, SEVERAL parts about this movie that don’t work, and I could go into a lot of the problems, but instead I’m going to try to talk about three aspects of the film. And for the sake of me not swearing up and down, we’re not going to talk about that godawful dialogue. Just know that it sucks.)

1) The ham-fisted arc

2) The protagonist and his trophy waifu

3) References over content

There are spoilers ahead, and I’m going to write this with the assumption that you’ve already seen the movie. If you haven’t, you’ve been warned. Anywho, let’s get started. Put on some “a-ha,” break your nostalgia goggles and join me as we go down this road where I collectively shit over Spielberg’s attempt to adapt a supposed “beloved classic.” (CAN YOU TELL I’M MAD?!)

1)     The arc

Here’s the thing with arcs in narratives, and more specifically films. 

They need to feel earned. 

Your central character has gone through a life-altering change or point of view since the beginning of the film due to the adventures and trials had throughout the film. Good examples include “Mad Max: Fury Road” where Max finally lets others into his life and sees the value in not going through life alone as described by the part where he donates his own blood and tells Furiosa his name. Another good example is actually from the Oscar nominee Spielberg had LITERALLY LAST YEAR, “The Post.” In it, Kay Graham finally put her foot down and shows authority by stepping out of her comfort zone to release the Pentagon Papers—damn what the powers that be say. This is important to any narrative because it shows the flaws of your characters through their insecurities and hesitations to make them human rather than movie characters. Even if you have paragon characters like Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman, they still have to overcome some kind of personal issue that is keeping them from achieving what they’ve wanted.

Now, if you look over to the main character, you can see that his arc was…what is it that was his arc? 

He’s…he’s the same at the beginning as he was at the end. 

“OH BUT HE HAS A PENTHOUSE AT THE END,” yeah that’s not a change. One could argue that the (even though the catalyst for change has no fucking relation to it) arc is about unplugging and enjoying the real world. The bits at the end with Easter Egg man where he starts going on and on and on about how he missed reality or something, and the VERY BRIEF bits at the beginning where you see people all over the VR systems, one of which is the mother neglecting a fire in the house and one where an Asian man almost commits suicide after losing all of his stuff in the game (it’s played for comedy, so THAT’S also pretty fun, because it’s not like Japanese suicide rates are a serious issue or anything OH WAIT.) So it’s about being close to reality and unplugging. Ok. Coolio.

But here’s the thing, similar to “War for the Planet of the Apes”…YOU HAVEN’T EARNED IT. There are brief moments where it kind of alludes to it (see the middle challenge with ‘oh yes, I should have kissed the girl during the Shining’ and the small bit at the middle where the main two are sitting there and the main dude has ONE HALF-ASSED LINE about how “it’s nice here. It’s slower,”) but that’s IT. It doesn’t actually give you a reason to think that staying in the Oasis and avoiding reality is a BAD thing. Sure you have abusive father obsessed with getting high scores but he’s just one dimensional asshole dad who dies and you don’t give a shit about it one second later after his parental figures are killed. 

There are no real CONSEQUENCES to spending too much time in the Oasis, it’s just because he’s good at the game. And if there are, they sure as hell aren’t focused on in favor of mindless spectacle (which looks REALLY BAD by the way. I know it’s supposed to look fake because video game, but do the main characters have to use the ugliest models in existence?!) As such, the ending and central arc of learning is lost.

So what’s the arc? Well…there is none. Nothing is really learned, nothing is really gained that MATTERS aside from the keys to Willy Wonka’s goddamn chocolate factory. 

Z or Perzival or Wade or generic-white-gamer-boy learns all of fucking NOTHING by the end. (As such, it makes the ending where he says “EVERYONE HAS TO BE OFF ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS” come off as BULLshit.)

But no, this is clearly the Spielberg classic. It’s not like Indiana Jones learned anything in the Last Crusade as a character only he totally fucking DID, HE LEARNED TO RESPECT AND LOVE HIS FATHER WHO HE PREVIOUSLY DESPISED AND THE IMPORTANCE OF—sorry. Sorry I’m getting a bit mad again.

Anywho, due to a lack of a real arc, it makes you think that the entire fucking plot was pointless. It was just inevitable that the good guy win because…well he’s the main character. He doesn’t say anything about anything but is instead dumb fluff, which would be fine…but here’s the thing. It also affects the main characters. And it affects them HARD.

2)     Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass

The two main characters have no personality or character due to this lack of an arc.

The main man, Wade, his personality is…what exactly? He’s just generic hero-boy who is obsessed with the 80s. “He’s like a regular Star-Lord!” I hear you say, only he totally fucking isn’t. Starlord has baggage, has character has points and instances that stretch BEYOND just quoting 80’s movie and saying the actual phrase that a screenwriter actually wrote down and didn’t immediately delete that went “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER” NO I AM NOT OVER IT.

...Point is, the references don’t make Star-Lord who he is, it’s the character of Peter Quill himself. Cocky, brash, and in many ways, a child running from his past. 

As for Wade, he’s got nothing. I’ve looked over this sometimes, depending on the writing or the situation, so maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much, but the actor who plays him isn’t doing a good job. I know I don’t talk about acting a lot, but the man…the man is just whining through his lines. He comes off as insufferable with his needless 80’s knowledge that I was genuinely rooting for the one-dimensional villain to kill that fucking brat.

Then we have Artemis or Samantha or Sam or its-the-pixie-cut-rebel-chick.  

There are several scenes that are etched into my brain now (including a FUCKING NUT-SHOT AND A PASSWORD FOR A HUMAN ADULT THAT IS “B055MAN69.” IN A SPIELBERG MOVIE. THE MAN WHO MADE INDIANA JONES AND SCHINDLER’S LIST.), but one of the big ones is the final image of the film in which the main character in his 80’s man-boy cave spins around with his beautiful woman sitting in his lap as they suck face as the line “reality is pretty awesome anyway” or something like that. Aside from the main character not earning that statement as previously stated…fucking let’s look at it for what it is.

The man just won a real-life walking-talking waifu. A trophy wife that he wins at the end of the game.

She’s what probably made me see through the movie the most honestly. She makes this big fucking deal about “oh, but I’m not who you think I am on the outside, I’m not pretty” and then when you go outside to the real world, of course she’s the fucking gorgeous Hollywood white girl—she just has a goddamn birthmark on her eye to be her “blemish.”

“Oh but she’s insecure about it,” I hear you say--I’m sorry, but you mean to tell me NOBODY told her she’s fine and beautiful with the eye-mark BEFORE Wade? You mean to tell me she’s insecure, but not insecure enough to feel the need to buy fucking MAKE-UP!? I’m not saying that she needs it, I’m saying that the character’s central flaw is the WEAKEST FUCKIN FLAW I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU WANNA CHANGE THE GAME, QUASIMODO THAT SHIT. 

THEN, and this part was just fucking HILARIOUS to me, she mentions about how the ioi company fucking KILLED HER FATHER in a workshop and she has to stop him for revenge…and then it’s totally dropped. Like it’s never mentioned by the end. At all. She chucks a grenade into Mechagodzilla to kill the bossman but fuck me if it ain’t satisfying and adds physically NOTHING to her character.

Her character exists for one purpose. She is the love interest who sets the main character off on his journey. Nothing more. And I say that, because SHE’S THE CATALYST FOR HIM FINDING THE FIRST KEY. She tells him something that reminds him of something that solves the puzzle. And what’s more, I am willing to bet that THAT’S the reason they kept her Hollywood pretty. Because you need to have an attractive romantic love interest to keep the audience pleased. 

Now apparently, she does more in the movie than she does in the book. And that’s great. That’s super. She’s the one breaking in to destroy the d20 of doom. Hell yeah I guess. But I also don’t care. You wanna know why? BECAUSE I AM NOT READING THE BOOK. Superficial changes that improve certain aspects doesn’t make the movie better than it is. It’s like polishing a fucking turd. Yeah, it’s nicer than what you had, but you are still making me hold this piece of dogshit.

They don’t have characters. They don’t have chemistry BECAUSE they don’t have characters. It’s a fucking wash.

3) Drowning in References

But now we talk about the big one. The big fucking thing that everyone and their mother is obsessing about this movie over. And the thing that has gotten me from not liking this movie to fucking DESPISING it.

The references.

To quote from people who will be seeing the movie in the theater *ahem*...

“OHMYGOD IS THAT TRACER?! OH AND IT’S HARLEY AND THE JOKER! OH! OH! OH! IRON GIANT! HALO! BORDERLANDS! BACK TO THE FUTURE! BATMAN—FUCKING IT’S THE BATMAN! THEY MENTIONED THRILLER! THAT’S PRINCE! STREET FIGHTER! MECHA-GODZILLA FIGHTING GUNDAM! MINECRAFT! NINJA TURTLES! FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH! STAR TREK! FIREFLY! THE SHINING! IT’S FUCKING CHUCKY!!!”

…Ok? So what?

Not to be a snob, but seriously—so what? Why does it matter?

Listen, I like crossovers too. I remember the Avengers and what a big goddamn deal it was, and how it made everyone’s jaw drop to the ground, and how in some ways, it still does. But whereas with those it felt organic, Ready Player One with its ninety thousand references felt…empty.

I’m going to bring out two comparisons to the table that do the same thing that Ready Player One did, “Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?” and “Wreck-It Ralph.” Both had pop-culture icons throughout them. One had all of the classic cartoons all spliced together—where you saw Daffy Duck and Donald Duck in the same shot having a dual piano-off. One of them had all of these video game characters that you loved and embraced since you were a kid, running around and hanging out ala “Toy Story.” These big names are all in the background, just like Ready Player One, but they’re clearly different in terms of execution. Why is that?

Well it’s because the movies weren’t reliant on them. Sure, Rodger Rabbit had fun moments with these big names, but if you took them out and animated totally new characters with similar personalities, what would you lose? Nothing. The plot is the same, the dynamics are the same, and it can still be seen as a salute to the classic animations from back in the day to also an allegory for the Jim Crowe era just as the book intentionally was. Same goes for Wreck-it Ralph, the character goes through a fundamental change that has him accepting who he is and how “there’s nobody else I’d rather be, than me” ALL THE WHILE paying respects to classic arcade video games.

The same can’t be said for Ready Player One. The instant you take away the pop-culture references, the movie loses its protective suit of armor to reveal it’s about…nothing. 

It is. 

Nothing. 

The generic quest, the generic corporate baddie, the generic love interest, the main character has nothing to say, and the conflict is revealed to be flat—nothing about it sticks out or makes an impression.

And if you fail to make an impression without a fucking suit pop-culture references then, well, if I may use a pop-culture quote myself...“If you’re nothing without the suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

Plain and simple.

But then…there’s the one thing I can’t really debate. 

“It’s just fun though, right?”

Yeah sure. I’ll admit around that third act, even though it was long overdrawn, I had fun watching the violence and references I understood while they blasted “We’re Not Gonna Take It” in the background.

But y’know what? It was just about as enjoyable as seeing someone adapt a piece of shitty fanfiction, because both have one thing in common for everything that they do: It’s just there for fan service. If you make the statement “well the Oasis is cool,” then you’ve clearly missed the point because you don’t like the movie, you like it’s gimmick. And it’s gimmick exists—it’s called VR Chat.

Meanwhile, screenwriters of different backgrounds, ethnicities, genders and religions from everywhere across the world are actually putting EFFORT into their screenwriting and directing. And while their action scenes for their blockbuster idea may not be perfect, they at least tried and did something new with it.

I went to see “Wrinkle in Time” today after I’d seen Ready Player One yesterday, needing to see literally anything good. And yeah, it’s not perfect. It’s got some stilted dialogue and some questionable acting on nearly all fronts at points and the conflict can be about as cliched as you can imagine, but the visuals, the costume design—you could tell everyone cared and put a goddamn effort into everything put forth. It’s much more gorgeous than the downright UGLY CG that was in the Oasis world in Ready Player One, and I guarantee you nobody had the phrase “B055MAN69” anywhere. It didn’t pander to kids or guys who wanted to feel validated for knowing a couple references. It wanted to tell the story of fighting back evil and hatred by embracing love. It’s cheesy and sappy…but fuck me, if it didn’t try to say something while having fun.

But fuck that movie right? We have Iron Giant fighting Mechagodzilla. 

If you have that, then why bother putting in effort?

That’s what kills me. It’s lazy and people praise it because it just stuck pop-culture words in a fucking blender. Don’t call it innovative. Don’t call it original. Don’t call it anything than what it is.

80’s. Prepubescent. Fucking. Fanfiction.

You can love it and enjoy it if you want, I mean I don’t like not liking movies. It sucks. And in some aspects, I can see why you can if you turn your brain off but…I’m not gonna lie, to see this get away with murder insults me.

Listen, I love Spielberg. There is nobody I respect more in the business. His work in AI, and the reason why he did so to keep a dying friend’s vision alive will always keep him as one of my personal heroes but…sometimes you gotta call people out when they make shit. And I am.

I don’t care what anyone says, don’t see Ready Player One. Watch something worthwhile. Go to Netflix and watch “Stranger Things” if you’ve got that need for an 80′s kick, or hell--”Blade Runner 2049″ is a visual goddamn MARVEL. Go see “The Post” or “Jaws” if you want some good Spielberg. Just PLEASE! Go see something that isn’t just a bunch of references that almost feel as though it’s a remake of “ctrl+alt+del.” 

(Random aside, people have told me to read the original book...but if that fucking thing is ANYTHING like this movie, I’d rather BURN IT than let it get one inch into my house. So no, I’m not going to read the book even if there are claims that it’s “better.” (Even though I believe that it’s impossible to say a book is better than it’s adaptation or vice versa because it’s two different mediums and as such it’s hardly fair, but that’s a whole other thing.) Point is, I’ve never been more turned off to a book in my godddamned life and I ain’t gonna bother.)

[undertheinfluencerd]

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Hallmark Christmas movies have become a popular holiday tradition. They’ve become so successful that the films start airing in late October and other networks like Lifetime, Ion and Netflix have copied the genre.

RELATED: 10 Weirdest Ways Couples Meet in Hallmark Christmas Movies

What makes these movies so fun to watch, is that they come with a very unique set of storylines or tropes that viewers can expect to see in most movies. These go beyond average romantic comedy plots and are the ones viewers often only see during the holidays.

Updated on September 4th, 2021 by Amanda Bruce: It doesn’t matter that the audience is sure they know exactly what’s going to happen next, Hallmark Christmas movies provide comfort for a lot of people looking for some feel-good entertainment during the holiday season. While some of the tropes present might be cheesy or outdated at times, there’s warmth, not just in the happy ending of the stories, but also in the familiarity of them. So it’s always a good time to celebrate some of the most common and all-around best Hallmark Christmas movie tropes, as well as some of the worst clichés.

15 THE MAIN CHARACTER COMES HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

One of the most common tropes in the Hallmark Christmas movies, even in some of the best ones, is the return to the small-town home like in Picture a Perfect Christmas. The main character has left home and become successful in their choice of a career somewhere else and likely hasn’t been home in years.

When they return, plenty of attention is paid to the things that they loved about their hometown, and the person they left behind who hasn’t changed a bit. There’s usually tension with their family that is smoothed over just in time for the holiday celebration and a romantic happy ending.

14 IT SNOWS ON CHRISTMAS

Even though the southern hemisphere doesn’t celebrate Christmas during their winter months (but during summer, instead), Hallmark Christmas movies are all about the idyllic setting with plenty of snow on the ground. To be fair, most Hallmark Christmas movies do film in Vancouver, where there would be snow during the holiday season.

It doesn’t seem to matter where the fictional small town or big city in the movie is though. There’s always snow on Christmas. If there hasn’t been snow, it’s marked as unusual by multiple characters in the movie and becomes a major plot point as people wish for snow.

13 THE BIG RELATIONSHIP MISUNDERSTANDING

Though it might be clear to the audience that the two main characters are perfect for one another, there’s always a misunderstanding that drives them apart. It might be that one of them believes the other is going back to an old relationship or leaving town, or it could be something more drastic.

In The Perfect Christmas Present, for example, the two characters are brought together when a man hires someone with a reputation for perfect gifts to figure out what his girlfriend wants. They fall for each other, but she’s incredibly hurt by the deception – until everything works out in the end.

12 THE HOLIDAY COMPETITION

Many of the Hallmark movies set in small towns will feature competitions year-round. It could be a talent show at a child’s school, float decorating in a parade, or something related to baking.

In the Hallmark Christmas movies, baking is usually a big one. In fact, Lacey Chabert, queen of Hallmark’s Christmas movies, even featured in The Sweetest Christmas, in which her character works on the ultimate gingerbread cookie presentation, complete with a working carousel. Of course, her character finds love through her love of baking as well.

11 SOMEONE SINGS A HOLIDAY SONG

While Hallmark might be known for its romance, it’s not usually a network full of musicals. There are a few summer movies featuring country music festivals, but when the Christmas movies throw holiday music into the mix, someone in the cast must be a singer.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Lifetime Christmas Movies Are Better Than Hallmark (& 5 Reasons Hallmark Will Always Be The Best)

This could mean a kid creating their own holiday song for a presentation, or it could mean rival pop stars reuniting to make some holiday magic. It could also mean the cast is celebrating Christmas At Dollywood while Dolly Parton herself dispenses dating advice.

10 CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT MORE THAN PRESENTS

No matter their age everyone loves getting Christmas presents. It’s one of the best parts of the holiday for those who celebrate it. Of course, it’s not the only reason to celebrate Christmas, and Hallmark is not especially subtle about reminding viewers of that fact.

Several of its movies revolve around workaholics being reminded that there’s more to the season than presents. In case the audience is new to the genre, the real meaning of Christmas is love and family: something the network will repeatedly let you know, in between commercials for its newest ornaments. 

9 QUAINT SMALL TOWNS ARE BETTER THAN THE BIG CITY

While it’s true that several Christmas movies take place in New York, Hallmark definitely has a preference for small towns. Sometimes, a former resident has to come home because life has taken a turn, and that’s when they figure out they never should have left.

There’s also a version of this story where a woman is passing through a beautiful little town on her way someplace else, and when fate intervenes, she’s forced to stick around. She inevitably falls in love with the town and the local heartthrob. In the end, the message is clear, only family-friendly small towns really know how to celebrate Christmas.

8 CHRISTMAS CEREMONY WILL SAVE THE TOWN

Every city has its own special Christmas tradition. From tree lightings to concerts to parades, these events bring everyone together and force them to all get along for a few small moments. In the Hallmark universe, these celebrations are usually central to keeping the town alive.

There’s never a solid reason given why the celebration is so crucial to the Hallmark town’s survival. It’s usually something vague along the lines of tradition All viewers know is that the fate of everything important rests on those kids singing at the Christmas concert.

7 SOMEONE IS SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND

Romantic comedies are often built on the premise that someone has secretly been in love with their best friend for years. With that in mind, it makes sense that Hallmark decided to set the trope during the holidays and make it Christmasy.

The audience knows the story. A guy or girl is in a relationship is clearly wrong for them, and even though everyone else can see how perfect the two friends would be together, the person doesn’t break up with said boyfriend or girlfriend and realize who they’re really in love with until it’s time for the big tree lighting.

6 CORPORATE BIG SHOT WANTS TO CLOSE THE FACTORY/LODGE/TREE LOT

Hallmark Christmas movies all feature a business that’s central to the plot or even the whole town. It’s either a factory, lodge, department store, or Christmas tree lot like in Fir Crazy. Sadly, it’s usually in financial trouble, but luckily a big corporation wants to invest! Of course, they really just want to turn it into corporate copy or shut it down completely, and they’ve sent someone to facilitate the takeover.

Fortunately, spending time in the charming town has melted their cold business heart and they no longer want to close down the factory/lodge/store/tree lot. Naturally, they also fall in love. It’s really shocking how many corporate takeovers lead to romance.

5 SANTA OR HIS ELF INTERFERE

Sometimes problems get so big that only Santa and his elves can fix them. Whether it’s a single mom struggling to make Christmas special or a man who’s lost faith in the holiday, Santa seems to always be around to help random people figure out their lives.

RELATED: 10 Best Hallmark Christmas Movies, According to IMDB

What’s most surprising is how concerned Santa is with the love lives of small-town residents. Fans have seen a few different movies, like Matchmaker Santa, where Kris Kringle or one of his representatives feels compelled to fix up two star-crossed lovers. The film always ends with the duo realizing that maybe that mysterious man with the beard was the real Santa Claus after all.

4 KIDS PLAY MATCHMAKER FOR SINGLE PARENT

Nothing screams Hallmark romance like two single parents who meet during the holidays and bond over creating a great Christmas for their kids. Once the kids figure out what a perfect family they make, they will stop at nothing to make their parents fall in love.

This story can occasionally veer into Parent Trap territory, but if the child actors are cute enough, it works. Single parents finding true love and making a family is a year-round favorite for Hallmark, as this one is also popular for Valentine’s Day, June Weddings, and Fall Harvest. 

3 THE ALL WORK, NO ROMANCE BOYFRIEND

In order to show how great the Hallmark leading man is, the network has a habit of giving its heroines terrible boyfriends at the start of a movie. This guy is typically a very handsome, shallow workaholic who is uninterested in making a serious commitment.

Thankfully, while she’s traveling to meet said boyfriend, she runs into a super nice guy who loves Christmas as much as she does and makes her see her boyfriend for the wrong choice that he is. Variations of this also feature the shallow, materialistic girlfriend and the ex loved by the parents.

2 SUCCESSFUL WOMAN MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN FAMILY AND CAREER

Of all the recurring themes Hallmark uses, this might be one of the worst. There’s an often-used idea that whenever a successful woman is having a bad day, it instantly means she’s made the wrong choice in focusing on her career and not having a family.

These movies often take place in a world where women aren’t allowed to have both. When the moment finally comes where she has to choose, she picks having the family every time, realizing that the goals she’s worked her whole life for are bad and wrong. Hallmark is clearly a family-oriented channel, but this is an insulting and outdated storyline for women who do have successful careers.

1 BOYFRIEND IS SECRETLY A PRINCE

It’s not Christmas until the audience is watching the story of a girl who meets a guy with a cute accent, impeccable manners, and a mysteriously powerful family, who, surprise, is really a prince.

If there’s one plot Hallmark uses more than any other, it’s the secret prince and Hallmark has blended the concept with Christmastime to great success, like in A Royal Christmas. This type of story also works when the boyfriend turns out to be Santa’s son. Plus, his parents are usually played by familiar ’80s and ’90s TV stars so there’s always extra star power in tow with these movies.

NEXT: 10 Most Underrated Hallmark Christmas Movies

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[cihojuda]

TSS Project part 7: The Tea is Hot

Warning as usual, long post. I think this is the longest single thing I’ve written for a non-academic purpose since my middle school fanfiction days lmao

Section 1: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

oo look a section header

What do I mean by titling this section Let’s Talk About Sex? Well, technically, I mean Let’s Talk About Disproportionate Representation of Gender and Stereotyping, but there wasn’t a catchy song lyric to go along with that. I am an anthropology major but I’m also a sucker for pizzazz.

I’ve noted in the past that there’s a ginormous gender imbalance in TSS- and pretty much all kids’ tv in general except things that are explicitly marketed towards 6-year-old girls. Don’t believe me? Google it. Shows that are “for everyone” or “for boys” only have a female:male ratio of 1:3 or 2:5 if we’re really lucky. And those female characters are usually ascribed one of a few personalities, which you’re no doubt familiar with if you, I don’t know, have eyes and ears.

Granted, this show and the other example I was thinking of, My Little Pony, are shows that play into the characters’ main traits by linking them to their ~Special Powers~ but that still doesn’t change the fact that they are VERY stereotypical Girls. Especially Rarity, Fluttershy, Flora and Stella. Like, goddamn.

Here’s a disclaimer, though: stereotypes exist for a reason. Whether that reason is prejudice or observation changes the nature of the stereotype, but it doesn’t change the fact that that’s the reason why it’s there. Playing somewhat into stereotypes is a good way to play to the things that people know, which in turn draws them in. The problem is making up your entire cast with reductive character tropes à la 1970s Super Friends cartoons, and you do NOT want to go full Super Friends.

Their names are literally just Apache Chief and Samurai. That is, like, uncomfortably racist to a 2018 (or 2000 anything) audience. But shit like that isn’t just limited to the 1970s. Reductive- sexist or racist, usually- stereotypes are permeated into American society so thoroughly that we usually don’t realize that there needs to be more nuance to the characters we’re showing our kids than “this guy is Native American. That’s who he is.” Because that’s what happens with most stereotypes. “This girl is the music girl. That’s what she does. She sings in the shower and has music tattoos and all her fairy powers are music based and...” It’s just So Much.

I had another point. Right.

~Girly~ shows have a main cast made up of entirely of female characters; with supporting males entering every so often just to be “there.” Romantic interests tailored specifically to the protagonists’ wildest dreams, usually. This does happen in ~~boys’ tv~~ too, but not in the same way. You know. The swoon-y, heartfelt love poem, I-can-change-him way. It’s different than how female characters are “just there” in boys’ tv, because then they’re either nagging mothers or coveted prom dates. I was going to say I don’t know why that is, but I do know. It’s the patriarchy. What I don’t know is why the “just there” thing happens in girls’ tv. What I do know is that I could write my goddamn thesis on why the “just there” thing happens in boys’ tv- and it is a thing- and why I hate it, but I don’t think you can swear in an undergrad thesis and I’m not sure if I’m ever getting a master’s degree. yaaaaay

So here’s a TL;DR for what’s coming:

http://secretsaturdays.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Characters

If you’d like to fact-check me about the gender imbalance in TSS, the link for the character section of the wiki is above. I only counted characters who were on the show (TGIS? new fone who dis) and important enough to be included in the wiki, not the ones who only made an appearance in the comics. (Don’t fucking @ me for not including people like “security guard who refused van Rook’s American money,” although most of those people were men too.) Otherwise the ratio would have been even more skewed blue because there were literally no new ladies introduced in the comics? At least none important enough to be included in the wiki? And there were literally only four recurring female characters in the entire series at all period, sixteen females total if you count the single-use randos (not mentioning whether those characters said lines which advanced the plot or anything either, because some did and some didn’t). SIXTEEN. Let me break them down for you:

Drew: second-tier protagonist

Miranda Grey: second-tier main character (both pro- and antagonist)

Abbey Grey: love interest/second-tier antagonist

“Charles and Lily’s Mom”: single-use background rando from s1e9

Lily: single-use plot device character from s1e9

Dr. Pachacutec: single-use plot device character from s1e11

Drew Monday: third-tier antagonist

Rani Nagi: third-tier antagonist

Ruby: single-use rando from s1e21

Sita: fourth-tier antagonist from s1e16

Tica: single-use plot device character from s2e3

Unnamed Agent #1: single-use background rando from s1e23

Wadi: third-tier protagonist

Zon: could be replaced with a potato and nobody would care

Anti-matter Zon: could be replaced with an anti-matter potato and nobody would care

Drew and Doyle’s mom: single-use plot device character from s1e7

Does that look like a lot of characters? Well, sure it does, when you write out descriptions like that for all of them. Let’s do all the guys, though, just for shits and giggles.

Zak: main progtaonist and story focus

Doc: second-tier protagonist

Doyle: second-tier protagonist

Fiskerton: second-tier protagonist

Komodo: second-tier protagonist

Argost: main antagonist

Munya: secondary main antagonist/Argost’s second and third pair of arms

Ulraj: third-tier protagonist

Dr. Beeman: second-tier main character

Dr. Cheechoo: second-tier main character

Dr. Cheeveyo: third-tier main character

Dr. Bara: single-use plot device character from s1e25

Odele: fourth-tier protagonist (whose side was he on in the Secret Scientist fight?) in two episodes

Epsilon: second- to third-tier antagonist

Francis: third-tier antagonist

Having fun yet?

Joseph: fourth-tier antagonist from s1e16

Ron Bantington: single-use plot device character from s2e1

Pierre Groshomme: single-use plot device character from s2e6

Professor Misuki: fourth-tier main character

Shoji Fuzen: fourth-tier antagonist in two episodes

Eterno: fourth-tier antagonist from s1e11

Maboul: fourth-tier protagonist (barely)

Baron Finster: fourth-tier antagonist

Basil Lancaster: single-use plot device character from s1e15

Bud Harger: single-use plot device character from s1e21

Charles: single-use plot device character from s1e9

Dr. Lee: single-use plot device character from s1e15

Cody: single-use rando from s1e21

Gokul: single-use plot device character from s2e5

Ian: single-use background rando from s1e9

Since Tumblr doesn’t allow numbering to continue after linebreaks, we’re up to 30 now.

The Constable: single-use plot device character from s1e9

Leonidas van Rook: third-tier main character

Piecemeal: fourth-tier antagonist and source of much wasted potential

Zak Monday: third-tier antagonist

Doc Monday: fourth-tier antagonist

Komodo Monday: third-tier antagonist

Fiskerton Monday: fourth-tier antagonist

Unnamed Agent #2: single-use background rando from s1e23

Unnamed Agent #3: single-use background rando from s1e23

Wyatt: single-use rando from s1e21

Drew and Doyle’s dad: single-use plot device character from s1e7

Ulraj’s dad: single-use plot device character from s1e6

FORTY-TWO 👏 GODDAMN 👏 MEN👏 AND 👏 SIXTEEN 👏 WOMEN. Y’all. Oh my god.

Going further, I want to look at stereotyping. Now, you can get some of that by looking at the other parts of this post series (torpedo tits discussion in the character design post whaaaaaat) but I want to go deeper.

Of the sixteen TSS women:

5 are love interests of male characters (Drew is Doc’s wife and she also dated van Rook, Drew Monday is Doc Monday’s wife, Abbey dated Doyle, Wadi is Zak’s crush) + everybody ships Miranda Grey with Beeman in some capacity

4 characters are explicitly known to be mothers, and in two cases it’s central to their identity insofar as that it’s how we refer to them  (Drew, Drew Monday, Drew and Doyle’s mom and Charles and Lily’s mom)

4 have no speaking or communication with humans other than through Zak’s cryptid powers (Unnamed Agent #1, Drew and Doyle’s mom, Zon and her antimatter counterpart)

3 of them aren’t human or humanoid (Rani Nagi, Zon and her antimatter counterpart)

3 have no names (Unnamed Agent #1, Drew and Doyle’s mom and Charles and Lily’s mom)

8 of them only appear in one episode apiece (Sita, Tica, Lily, Charles and Lily’s mom, Drew and Doyle’s mom, Unnamed Agent #1, Ruby, Dr. Pachacutec) + the reappearance of Zon’s antimatter counterpart is very short and doesn’t add much to the episode it’s in.

Only 1 of them is depicted as being “older,” or in the “gray hair and wrinkles” stage (Dr. Pachacutec)

I know what you’re going to say. “But Lilly, if you divide them all into categories, of course it’s going to sound bad!” Well...

Only 5 of the men are without names, which makes there be a higher percentage of unnamed women than men (18.75% of women to 12.5% of men)

The main pro- and antagonists are both male (Zak and Argost)

6 men are explicitly known to be fathers (or raising a child), but in only 2 cases it’s central to their identity insofar as that it’s how we refer to them (Doc, Doc Monday, Maboul, Epsilon, Drew and Doyle’s dad, Ulraj’s father). Although, in the case of Ulraj’s father, he’s often referred to as the King of Kumari Kandam as well, so that adds another layer. There’s no concrete way to refer to the female characters without names because “Blackwell” is only suspected to be Drew’s maiden name (Jay Stephens can @ me about that) and Charles and Lily’s mom can be referred to as something like “Owlman victim” but not really much else.

10 male characters are non-humans (Argost, Munya, Fisk, Komodo, Fiskerton Monday, Komodo Monday, Eterno, Professor Misuki, Ulraj and Ulraj’s father) but of those non-humans nearly all of them can speak or communicate with humans (Fisk, Fiskerton Monday, Komodo and Munya don’t speak) as opposed to the three non-human female characters (Rani Nagi, Zon and her antimatter counterpart) two of whom can’t do either unless you have cryptid powers (Zon and her antimatter counterpart)

Only 2 of the men have no speaking or otherwise communicating during their appearances (Drew and Doyle’s dad and Ulraj’s father) out of the whole 42 of them, even the plot device characters say something except for two who only appear in flashbacks. That’s opposed to 4 of the 16 women who don’t speak or otherwise communicate and 2 of the female characters can’t communicate at all (see above). Those two percentages are hugely different. (4.76% of men vs. a full 25% of women)

At least 6 of the male characters are in the “gray hair and/or wrinkles” stage. (Dr. Lee, Professor Misuki’s human body, van Rook, Baron Finster, Basil Lancaster, Ian) Now, 6 out of 42 is NOT a high number (see above). But it’s a lot higher than the number of women who were allowed to look that way. Thank God they treated Pachacutec with some dignity, even though she only appeared in one episode.

How’s that for “bad if you put it that way?”

Now, listen. I’m not calling TSS a bad show. I fucking lived and breathed this shit for YEARS as a kid, and I’m still very impressed with it- on other levels than gender equality. The thing about it is that it was most likely intended for boys, the idea was conceived by a man, and it was produced in 2008 American society. The whole thing is covered in latent sexism like a minivan is covered in snot. Just because you don’t see the nasty doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I still like the show for reasons that tie into my earlier point about stereotyping: TSS breaks a bunch of them.

A highly educated, rich black man

A happy interracial relationship

Parents who are just the right level of involved with their child instead of being helicopters or ignorant assholes

Not drawing negative attention to the hijabi character at all

The women aren’t nags

No one is reduced to labels like “woman” or “Native American guy”

That’s the thing that we miss sometimes: you can love something while still realizing its faults, and TSS has faults along with its goodness. Namely the gender imbalance, but you can read my other problems with the series in my other posts tagged #tss project.

[thelegendofclarke]

Just venting I need to get this out:I firmly believe that there are Key 6, not 5, players in ASOIAF. And Sansa is one of them. GRRM has himself named Sansa as one of his key protagonists (there were 6 in total inc Sansa) and also that Sansa,Arya and Bran's journeys were paramount for him. I know this subject has been done to death &I'm really sorry for imposing on you but yeah to me,based on all this,Sansa is one of the Key 6. (you dont have to post it. Just venting. Thanks for reading)

Hi! Sorry to bother you again. I’m the Key 6 players anon. You don’t have to post my initial ask. I know the whole thing has been done to death. I was just venting and getting it out of my system. I hope I didn;t offend. Thanks for understanding.

Hi Anonny!

Oh gosh please DON’T apologize, you didn’t offend me at all in the slightest! I am just slow af and take forever to answer things and am generally The Worst… But my Ask is always open for venting! Especially venting about people who don’t ~recognize, respect, and appreciate~ the Noble and Poetic Land Mermaid that is Sansa Stark.

Yeah, the Key Players debate does continue to be a kind of ~weird bone of contention~ in the fandom for some reason. I think (and like to hope) that a lot of the time when people talk about or make fanart for the Five Key Players, that they aren’t excluding Sansa or leaving her out maliciously. I think they might just be going off of, or wanting to acknowledge, the five main characters GRRM listed in his original outline for the series in 1993.

But you’re right, I have definitely seen people who insist that Sansa is not a main character or key player in the story, which simply isn’t true. GRRM even identified her as a main character himself in 2016:

I’d thought the whole story could be told in three books, and that it would take me three years to write them, a year per book. That picture was taken just a few weeks after I blew my first (bot not my last, oh no) deadline on the series. Ah, how innocent I was… little did that guy in the picture imagine that he would be spending most of the next two decades in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros with Tyrion, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Jon Snow, Bran, and all the rest. (x)

And even if GRRM’s word alone weren’t enough, Sansa’s character is vastly different from how she was originally planned. In the original outline GRRM basically had the Arya character involved in plot lines that now belong to Arya, Sansa, and Meera Reed (homegirl would have been BUSY AF); and the original Sansa character was basically who we would now identify as Margaery Tyrell if you are looking for a comparison. The original Sansa character ended up marrying Joffrey and bearing him a son and then choosing him over her family and ultimately paying the price. It was always ~super obvious~ to me that GRRM figured out that it just wasn’t going to be logistically possible to have the Arya character do everything she needed to do. I mean she was basically going to have to be in a minimum of two places at once: fleeing North beyond the wall with Bran AND in KL/WF getting entangled in a love triangle with Jon and Tyrion. So he ended up splitting and then modifying Arya’s storylines for the characters we now know as Arya, Sansa, and Meera.

The Sansy Pants as we now know (and love) her does start out a lot like the original Sansa, with dreams of marrying the prince and having his babies ect. She also does play a big part in what some people see as the betrayal and downfall of her family. But unlike the Sansa in the original outline, our Sansa learns. Her observations and inner dialogue become more and more keen and shrewd and move further and further away from the romantic fantasies and naivety that characterized her original POV. The romantic and fanciful AGoT!Sansa does make appearances throughout the series as Sansa wistfully, and sometimes resentfully, recalls the girl she used to be. But AGoT!Sansa’s memory is consistently suppressed and rejected in favor of a sharper, smarter, more cunning, and more guarded perspective (She hasn’t left her romanticism behind completely though as we know, just like she hasn’t forgotten her true identity. She is still Sansa Stark; “Lord Eddard’s daughter and Lady Catelyn’s, the blood of Winterfell”). 

If anything, this proves to me she’s going to be a Key Player and central to the story’s endgame. Like her siblings Sansa has lived through extreme atrocities and incredible adversity and come out the other side stronger and smarter, but still kind an noble. And like Bran has been honing his supernatural abilities and Arya has been honing her physical abilities, Sansa has been honing her own intellectual abilities. Her growing political savvy and transition from Pawn to Player is incredibly similar to Bran’s growing confidence in his magical abilities. Just like Bran is gradually becoming one of the central characters for the magical endgame of the series, Sansa is transitioning into her role as a key player in the pragmatic and political endgame of the series.

And going along with that, I think another reason people have a hard time believing that Sansa is going to be a Key Player is because she isn’t magical. All the other five Key Players (Bran, Arya, Jon, Dany, and Tyrion) have some sort of magical ability that’s central to their arc. Whether it’s dragon riding or blood magic or warging or being brought back from the dead, they all have some sort of magical skill and/or experience. There is, of course, the fact that Sansa could have been a warg or a skin changer, but her ability to do so essentially died with Lady. But honestly I think that’s kind of beside the point…

In the end I don’t think it matters that Sansa doesn’t have any significant magical abilities, because I don’t think GRRM is trying to write a story solely about magic where the magical storylines and characters are the only important ones. I think he is more writing a story that is set in a world where magic exists. ASoIaF isn’t divided into magical storylines vs. political storylines, the two co-exist and are of equal importance. Whether you want to view ASoIaF as a political world where there’s magic or a magical world where there’s politics, it still stands to reason that the lives of the characters are going to be affected by both. Just like the magically inclined Dany is driven by royal aspirations and entangled in political endeavors, the politically savvy Sansa does interact with and has been affected by magic. 

Both these things occur simply based on the fact that both exist and are pervasive over arching themes in the universe GRRM has created. Even though Sansa doesn’t have any obvious magical skills like Arya and Jon, she has interacted with magic and it has been a prevalent theme in her arc. Here are just a few examples:

The name Sansa actually means “invocation and charm” in Sanskrit. And while yes, this could just be a play on words with Sansa’s power to charm others, it gets brought up again in he advices Petyr gives her to seduce Harry the Heir: “Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him.” Seduction is described here like a spell. 

The Ghost of High Heart Prophecy- “I dreamt a wolf howling in the rain, but no one heard his grief. I dreamt such a clangor I thought my head might burst, drums and horns and pipes and screams, but the saddest sound was the little bells. I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow.” The bolded part is pretty clearly speaking of Sansa at Joffrey’s wedding. The purple serpents in her hair with blood dripping from their veins is referring to the silver hair net with purple amethysts given to Sansa by the Tyrells which they used to smuggle poison into the wedding feast. The “serpents in her hair” also really strongly parallels the myth of Medusa, who could turn men to stone with just one look.   

The smallfolk also talk about Sansa and the Purple Wedding in terms of magic and legend when telling the story to Arya and The Hound: “The northern girl. Winterfell’s daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window.” (Arya XII, ASoS) Not only do they say Sansa preforms a spell, but also that she skin-changes into a bat-wolf, all references to the dark arts. 

The remaining direwolves often think of think of “the sister they had lost”, which is obviously Lady. And it’s significant that because Sansa lost Lady, her brothers can’t track her the way they do their other siblings. This indicates that there is in fact a magical bond/connection between each Stark and their wolf allowing them to connect with and track each other as a pack, and that with Lady’s death Sansa’s magical connection was severed. 

GRRM has also explicitly stated that all the Stark children have warging abilities: “[On whether the trait of being a warg ran in the Stark family] I don’t know if I want to get into genetics - this is fantasy, not scifi… I don’t think this is necessarily a ‘Stark’ ability, though all the children have it to one extent or another. They also realize it to one extent or another.’

Her presence in Bran’s dream in AGoT (Bran III) where she is surrounded by shadows, each representing characters she has and possibly will interact with (The Hound, Jaime Lannister, and possibly Robert Strong)- “One shadow was dark as ash, with the terrible face of a hound. Another was armored like the sun, golden and beautiful. Over them both loomed a giant in armor made of stone, but when he opened his visor, there was nothing inside but darkness and thick black blood.”

Maggy’s Prophecy- Sansa is also potentially the “younger and more beautiful” queen in Maggy the Frog’s prophecy about Cersei. And while she might not ~actually~ end up being the younger and more beautiful queen, Cersei believes she could. This is significant because it shapes Sansa and Cersei relationship and fuels Cersei’s hatred of Sansa from the first time they meet. It’s the same reason Cersei hates Margaery, they are a threat not only to “all she holds dear” but also to her power. 

SO tl;dr Sansa Stark is ~important af~ and DEFINITELY a Key Player in ASoIaF. I know you already knew this haha, but just take comfort in the fact that there is a gd mountain of evidence against anyone who claims differently. So they can just sit there in their Wrongness and be Wrong :)

[xosaebyeol-blog]

hello all you wonderful people!! as stated in my app, my name is nina, but i also go by kristina so whatever is easier?? but anyway i am your resident got7, bap, and sistar trash can who can and will fangirl about any of the three aforementioned at any time. besides that however! i’m 23 and residing in central time zone, and other than supporting my faves i also love batman and disney movies and my black lab carley quinn ♥‿♥ but enough about the mun! i’ll tell you about this babe~~

[ yoon bora ] — hey there! this is [ shin saebyeol ] and I go by [ she/her ], a [ twenty-five ] year old [ dancer ] currently residing at [daemun studio apartment ] [ alone ]. I am known around here for being [ compassionate ] but also [ unrealistic ]. it’s nice to meet you!

her name is kang saebyeol but her mom calls her star

her parents were famous actors back in the 80s. they had been friends with each other for years, acting in numerous dramas and movies together, the two close as peas and carrots.

the two never thought of dating until the woman was dumped by a fling. it was this heartbreak that made the man realize how much he loved the girl and cared about her, the two dating not long after only to tie the knot a matter of months later. of course after marriage came babies, and it was a matter of time before one child added up to three instead.

now with a growing family, the couple tried to stay out of the media to raise their girls, not wanting the limelight to change their childhood.

this went over pretty well..besides that fact that each daughter was interested in her own form of entertainment themselves. but we’ll specify which later. the one we’ll talk about right now is saebyeol, specifically the youngest of the three girls.

it took some time for her to find her calling, feeling discouraged as both her older sisters found their passion at such a young age. because of this, she tried her hardest to prove herself in school and extracurricular activities. really anything she could impress her parents with. it wasn’t until going to visit with her family one summer in the states that she noticed her love for dance.

it was like a new fire had started in her, and she wanted to get as far as she could, specifically on her own.

that last part was important, because though both her sisters were talented, they took every handout they could (whether it be money or advances on the social ladder) finding that their names alone were all they needed to get people’s attention.

strongly believing against it, saebyeol decided to use her grandma’s family name for her professional name, only wanting to advance through her own progress and not on her parents’ fame. (which is why her app says Shin Saebyeol instead of kang, srry that took forever to get to lsadjfklkdas)

now she owns her own dance studio where she teaches her own students young and older alike. she also even choreographs some idol groups’ dances !! but she’s found the comfort in her studio, excited to help teach something she’s been so passionate about.

other important stuff!

she is an absolute hopeless romantic !! seeing how beautiful her parent’s marriage was, she has the expectation bar set high, but only because she knows what is possible if you don’t settle. now because of this she has damaged herself a bit. she dated around some in high school when she was too young and eager to find The One™, and she did get burned a few times too of course. this now has made her actually kind of afraid of falling for someone?? but she still dreams about it all the time?? like make up your mind woman???

she’s super close to her mother, always getting along better with her than her sisters, though it was civil most the time keyword: most

her favorite time of the day is when she wakes up for the sunrise to go jog, feeling like it’s when her mind is most clear

The Mom Friend™: will buy you a meal if you’re hungry and don’t have money, will ask if you need a band aid if you get a booboo, will make sure you text her when you get home to know you got home safe, and pretty much everything in that ballpark

loves spooky things and halloween and day of the dead and her studio is decorated in halloween items year round and she collects skull stuff?? also queen of halloween costumes ys

alsdjfkls i feel like there’s so much more but my brain isn’t wanting to compute?? i’ll try to add stuff if i can think of it

plots-ish~

a best friend: maybe like a neighbor or someone who was in her dance class and they clicked and they’re besties pls???

summer fling: like she met them on one of her many trips to her grandmas in the summer and it was fast but ended just as fast but it could be like The One That Got Away??

exes: just any other people she could’ve dated? some could have broken up bc she looked too far down the line and they could’ve felt they were too young to be thinking that serious?

i’ve literally sat here 30 minutes and can’t think of more bc my brain hates me but i’m down for almost anything! friends(wb?)/bad influence/unlikely friends/????

i’m sorry this is so long (and awful) pls forgive i tried~~

but if any of you beautiful people would like to plot with my baby just tap that heart and i’ll come to you?? i look forward to talking to you all!  ♥ ♥ 

[you-did-well-my-love]

Drama Review: Introverted Boss

I don’t think I have ever been so satisfied with the ending of the drama.

Rating: 4.5/5 I was going to rate it a four, but that last episode was absolutely amazing.

OST: Most of the ost is pretty typical but like I have had B1A4 Sandeul’s song on repeat since it ended like shit it’s so good. 

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Business

Synopsis: Eun Hwan-Ki is the CEO of a public relations company, but he is extremely shy. Due to his personality, even his employees do not know him well. Chae Ro-Woon begins work at Eun Hwan-Ki’s company. She is very energetic and receives recognition for her work, but her only interest is in CEO Eun Hwan-Ki. She plans to reveal who Eun Hwan-Ki really is. (source: asianwiki)

Trigger Warning: This drama deals heavily with mental health. The opening scene is a woman committing suicide. (I was honestly surprised at how graphic it was. Obviously it’s nowhere near 13 Reasons Why, but they showed more than I’ve ever seen in a drama outside of Let’s Fight Ghost which was about dead people.) The main lead has social anxiety. A character has depression. Visual self harm. etc.

Thoughts/Review: (no spoilers)

It’s been so long since this drama ended so this review is going to be scattered, but my GOD did I love this drama.

I wasn’t even going to watch this drama. I had it on my list, but the initial response to it was so negative, I took it off. But then I saw this one gifset of the male lead stroking the girl’s face while lying in a bed and I felt so much tension just from those gifs, I was immediately taken.

And honestly, Hwarang was so dry I was like dying of thirst and when I saw that gifset just drenched in chemistry I was sold.

I could see where the negative reviews came from. The editing was very jumpy - jumping back and forth to the various different things going on but, like, I couldn’t tell what was going on.

The transitions were really weird. The writers were awkward with introducing the characters. And then the drama started out with a woman jumping off of a building, and it takes you forever to find out who she was. JUST FYI that scene took place three years before the rest of the drama. They should have put “Three Years Later” at the bottom of the screen, no clue why they didn’t.

They could have used a bit more depth in setting up the characters. Whereas most dramas take two to three episodes to set up the plot, this drama just dived right in. Pretty much “everything” was set up in episode one. And I say that in quotation marks because of the episode 5 situation (explained below).

BUT once everything started to make sense, I was really intrigued. They had a really good story, it was just a rocky start. Get past the rocky start!

Much of the controversy was surrounding the female lead Park Hye Soo’s acting. I can’t argue with it. She wasn’t awful, but it seemed like it was her first lead role. She seemed like the type that can act well in minor roles, but something felt off with her line delivery... it felt almost forced. I think part of it was the weird script, because it got better after episode 4. Obviously it didn’t bother me enough to stop watching the drama, I stopped noticing it much the later I got into the drama. I guess the experience did well for her.

For those of you who don’t know or don’t remember when the news broke, the drama skipped a week to rewrite the script. This happened after episode 4. If you are watching and you’re not really feeling it, my advice is to wait and watch episodes 5 and 6 because that’s where a lot of things are fixed, everything gets explained, and the plot picks up.

NOTE: From what I gathered when watching, the writers changed the central conflict. There are a few continuity errors, but it’s understandable considering they film these dramas while they’re airing.

It was really quirky. The bright colors, the tone, the dialogue. It reminded me a bit of the extra-ness of jdramas. It had that lighthearted, fun feeling like Sassy Go Go, Surplus Princess, Marriage Not Dating (from what I’ve heard), Cinderella and Four Knights, Shopping King Louis, etc.

However, the deeper you get into the show, the more things appear to be not what they seem. So while “everything” is explained in episode 5, aside from the personal conflicts and episodic conflicts, there was this mystery brewing. A sort of underlying sketchyness that kept growing until the end.

I absolutely adored this drama. From the comedy (which was golden btw) to the use of irony to the characters to the romance. It is up on my list of top dramas for 2017.

The comedy: there was a lot of witty dialogue and utilization of each of the characters’ little quirks. The actors did amazing, a lot of it was expressions and motions tied in with dialogue that wouldn’t have been nearly as entertaining if the actors delivered it badly.

Yeon Woo Jin did such an amazing job as Eun Hwan Gi. He made this character come to life in such a raw and realistic way, I am truly impressed. I’m looking forward to seeing him in his next drama. I, someone with a social anxiety disorder, relate to Eun Hwan Gi so much it’s frightening. But that’s what made me love the drama even more. It made me feel a deeper connection to any kdrama character I have ever felt, and his thought process was so much like mine (always overthinking things) it made me root for him that much more. 

I felt so much for him seeing him make the efforts because I know from personal experience how hard it was for him. He was unable to do the mean thing despite it being the right thing because it was mean. He was so not the typical male kdrama lead, and he broke a lot of gender stereotypes. Plus he was freaking adorable. He had all these charms; his drunk habit for one lol, + he was caring, he watched over everyone, and when he did succeed in conquering his fear step by step as a viewer it fills you with so much warmth.

He’s just such a wonderful person and it brings you unbelievable joy as a viewer to see the rest of the characters slowly realize this too.

ALSO HE WAS LIKE HEALER’S BONG SOO ALIAS EXCEPT IN REAL PERSON FORM AND I LOVED IT.

And then when we finally got to see his frustration. Social anxiety is not this cute introvert nerd, it’s a pain in the ass and I am so glad/proud/thankful that the writers showed this side of it.

I want to take a second to mention the symbolism. I adored the symbolism behind his hood and what it meant for him to take it off/put it on. It was just one more key to understanding the character + it made you feel all the things when he was comfortable enough to take it off.

Chae Ro Woon... It was hard to judge her change because it was so sudden, but I thought her change was for the better. Yet there were still some things that annoyed me. A lot of time the writers used her inappropriate(?) behavior to move the plot along, but there were still instances I thought she was way over the line. However in my opinion, a lot of the hate towards her was out of line because her main goal was revenge and it seemed like people kept forgetting that. Especially later on, I thought Chae Ro Woon was just absolutely amazing. She was so understanding of Hwan Gi, even though it took her some time (which is realistic), and she was accepting of him. She didn’t push him too hard to change, she gave him space, and did what she could to make him comfortable. I loved it.

I was also a little disappointed with what the writers did with Hyo Sung’s character, specifically the way she treated Hwan Gi, but I’m going to attribute that to the story change and that if the writers could they would go back and take out that one scene from episode 2(?) to make her character understandable.

I’m not going to mention how I feel about Kang Woo Il, or Eun Yi Soo for that matter, because everything surrounding them is a spoiler. They’re complicated, especially Yi Soo. While I may not have been fond of them, I understood them. Especially Yi Soo. Which is what I believe is the most important when it comes to a character.

I LOVED YOO HEE. I don’t know if either of you have seen the Taiwanese drama Refresh Man, but it was another office romance and there was this older woman who saw the main character’s feelings for the girl and tried to set them up. I loved it. And the same thing pretty much happened here. It was hilarious.

Yeon Jung, usually I hate characters like her, but she was so amazing. She was annoying as a love interest but necessary as a friend, and I am actually glad a character like her was in the drama.

The romance. The sexual tension between Eun Hwan Gi and Chae Ro Woon was tangible. I loved how he slowly opened up to her, and it was symbolic in his hood and the way his voice became louder the more comfortable he became. Spoiler: they kiss a shit ton of times. I loved every second. 

The drama did a lot of things I didn’t expect. There were really straightforward conversations (the how-far-have-you-gone one), admissions of wrongful actions, actual apologies from multiple characters (all the characters that needed to imo) that I didn’t expect to happen, girls telling people off and breaking every drama stereotype.

A little thing I really liked was how, you know when dramas are like “we’ve wrapped up the plot but still have two episodes” so they create a conflict which is usually super random and off topic? This one tied back to the original roots of the plot and it fit so well with the theme of the whole drama. There was a huge presence of family in the drama, both Ro Woon’s and Hwan Gi’s, and I was very appreciative of how they wrapped up.

And, hun, while I stumbled over the time jump in the last episode, that ending was FANTASTIC. I don’t need to say anything else. Just that it was so damn satisfying.

Someone get me an Eun Hwan Gi please and thank you.

~~~

Finished 3/14/17

[shad0wpuppetz]

Iron Fist Rant

Alright, so, the more distant I get from having watched this trash fire, the less I liked it, and even though only maybe 3 people will read this, I’d really like to rant about it at length. 

WARNING: This rant is long as hell and full of spoilers. 

Many of my problems with the show revolve around the characters. This is an especially heinous grievance since the other Marvel Netflix series have such strong, well-written characters (more often than not). In this case, there is only one character who is entirely consistent throughout the entire series, and it’s Joy Meachum. Joy’s decisions are the only decisions that make any real sense. Everything she does has a reason, even when she’s willing to betray Danny for the sake of her father. She has, after all, just found out that her father has been dead after she saw him die of cancer when she was 13 years old. Oh, and there’s Claire Temple, who has her own issues, but everyone else is a shitty character who is not consistent in any way at all.

We can start with the man himself, Danny Rand. So in the first couple of episodes, Danny is super interesting. Like, yes, there’s this problem with a white dude being raised by monks and using Eastern Mysticism to save the world in his own white way. Honestly, whatever, they give story reasons for him to be a white guy raised in a monastery. When he starts out as a barefoot, fish out of water monk in New York City who is often mistaken for a homeless guy, he was way more interesting. Honestly, this is probably a very Buddhist thing for him to do (forgive me, I don’t know as much about Buddhism as I should to make this claim, but I feel that his philosophy carries over somewhat with him in these beginning few episodes). I do know enough about Buddhism to know that his temper tantrum over not getting his half of Rand Enterprises isn’t in line with the philosophy he was supposed to have over the last 15 years or so. I know that his very sudden transformation from bare-foot, innocent, wide-eyes martial artist in the city into wealthy business man who buys an Aston Martin and lives in a penthouse apartment is extremely unrealistic. Sure, we see him making business decisions based on what is “right” and “good” and “just” or whatever, but there’s no fish out of water transition here. He has been gone from the world for 15 years in an inter-dimensional monastery. Granted, I don’t know what kind of technology was available to him there, but in his flashbacks we don’t see any of it. Yet he has no trouble adjusting to any recent technology, he has no trouble having to wear shoes, he has no trouble at all transitioning to CEO and majority shareholder of probably a Fortune 500 company. We see him shirk his duties often to go fight for justice, but there are no real consequences for this. Sure, the Meachum siblings get a bit salty, and he’s fired for like 3 episodes, but nothing lasts and he doesn’t really seem to care beyond his own white privilege birthright or whatever. 

Then there’s Colleen. Boy do I have a problem with Colleen. As one of (arguably 3?) poc cast members, she seemed really shoehorned in. So we see this salty Chinese(?) lady putting up flyers in Central Park (or wherever) and Danny Rand immediately does the most racist thing he possibly can and starts speaking to her in Mandarin. Like?????? Fucking really???? And she was like “It’s been a really long time since I’ve spoken that, I speak Japanese these days!” Or... something. Honestly I didn’t go back and watch it, the show seemed really confused about her ethnicity. It’s as if the show writers were a bunch of white people who were like “She’s Chinese, or Japanese. Whatever, they’re the same thing, right?” and just went with that. So Danny asks her for a job, and she says no, and then she leaves. Then he goes and SEEK HER OUT like some creepy stalker weirdo, but we as the viewer are supposed to think this is okay because he’s our barefooted white hero. She, admittedly, is not okay with this at first. Colleen is this amazing martial artist who tries to give kids from bad neighborhoods structure and discipline. She, at this point, is extremely protective of them and loves what she does and is worried about losing her dojo because she can’t make rent. She tells Danny off, she is a good enough actress to make it clear that she wants nothing to do with him. I was convinced, we were all convinced, but he KEEPS. COMING. BACK. This is NOT OKAY. Listen, boys who might be reading this, if a woman wants you to go away, just fucking go away. I promise most women aren’t going to be the subject of weak writing and eventually decide they’re in love with you have have sex with you because you keep coming back to them. We kept seeing Colleen after this, there wasn’t any point until one time he returns and she just gives up ever getting rid of this asshole white guy. We find out she’s training Claire Temple to defend herself. Colleen decides she’s in love with Danny for some reason and they have sex-- even though he tells her all about his vow of chastity (another thing he just fucking stops having because what does philosophy matter for a fucking monk anyway, right?). I don’t have a problem with romantic subplots in shows. I like them if they’re well done (many these days are not, but still). This one was not well done. It really seemed like the original intention was for Danny and Joy to get together, they had a lot more chemistry and history. Colleen’s interest in Danny comes with a complete and random change of heart. She goes from being this badass, protective martial arts mom to the damsel love interest who didn’t know she organization (spoilers, it’s the Hand) she’s been apart of forever had a goddamn murder dungeon on the complex.

Let’s talk about that, shall we?

So, we meet Colleen’s sensei, a Latinx dude named Bakuto who is coded as villainous from the very beginning. To no one’s surprise, he is the leader of a splinter faction of The Hand who opposes Madam Gao’s way of doing things, it’s not important to this rant. What is important to this rant is that Colleen has been a part of this organization for an indeterminate amount of years and she INSISTS that this faction of The Hand is Different. She swears that they don’t like Madam Gao, that they don’t do stuff quite as shady as she does, that they all have normal jobs and they help people! To no one’s surprise (again), we find out about the murder dungeon: we find out about it through Colleen’s former students. There is nothing that could have convinced me that Colleen is the only member of this faction of The Hand who didn’t know about the shady shit that was going on in that house that NO ONE was allowed to go to. Really? You’re trying to sell me this badass, intelligent martial arts lady and she doesn’t know about the bad shit even her Different faction of The Hand is doing? She needs white goddamn privilege Danny Rand to show her? Give me a break.

Then there’s the huge plot hole in the form of Claire Temple. Now, I like Claire a lot. She’s cool, she’s capable, she is fairly well developed, I see why she has the following she does. However, Colleen and Danny decide that they’re going to go to China and take on The Hand at its source. Whatever, I don’t have an issue with that. What I do have an issue with is that Claire has Matt Murdock, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, on speed dial. Matt Murdock HATES The Hand. He is the reason that Claire even knows who they are. What I’m wondering is why she didn’t go “Hey, I know DareDevil, let me call him up and he’ll come with us. We probably need all the help we can get to take down this giant international organization.” And you know what would have happened? Matt would have picked up the phone, and he would have been like “The Hand? I’m already here outside of their compound, what’s taking you so long?” Like, I get that Marvel wants to give each Defender their own introduction, but it causes a lot of confusion as to why the one link between them, Claire Temple, seems to refuse to call one or a few of them up for help. Hell, even if she TRIED to get Matt on the line and it kept going to voicemail it would at least acknowledge that she tried and that we are, in fact, in a continuity here.

As far as Harold Meachum is concerned, the writers seemed like they were going for depth and complexity and just ended up with a clumsily written pseudo-villain. You start out thinking he’s on the side of the angels, because he wants Danny’s help to oust the Hand from Rand enterprises. He made a deal with the devil and he wants to try to trick the devil out of it. Fine. But then he mistreats his assistant and his son to a degree that we aren’t sympathetic with him. We probably shouldn’t be sympathetic with him, we think he’s working for the good of everyone, but then he’s this selfish person who wants what’s best for himself. Which, fine, but it really wasn’t played that way at all. His motivations came off as confusing, he was erratic and strange and not in any really convincing way. He waffles back and forth and many of his choices don’t seem to be consistent with... anything. Ward, his son, is the only person besides members of The Hand and, later, Danny, who knows that Harold is still alive from the majority of the series. We are supposed to believe that Harold has gaslighted his son into obeying his every command. Ward weakly tries to rebel against him to no effect. Ward is also erratic and strange, with many of his choices not being internally consistent with who I think he was supposed to be as a character.

Granted, some of the strongest scenes in the series are between Ward and Joy, but it isn’t enough to save it from all of the confusing random bullshit that happens as filler in the middle. Not only are the characters not all that well done, but man does this series get BORING in its middle episodes. Even season 2 of DareDevil kept me mostly interested throughout, and no one liked season 2 of DareDevil. I powered through to the unsatisfying ending, though, and after a few weeks of thinking about it, decided that I fucking hated the Iron Fist. It was bad. Don’t watch it.