#even though its entirely nonbinary To Me.

[fagmegumi]

im actually considering transing the name m.a.’s gender and adopting it irl in place of my birth name

[triptychgardener]

i saw you mentioned that transfem!calliope was practically canon, could you maybe elaborate on that? (im not dissing your hcs btw im just confused on where its suggested in canon)

Hey so it took me a while to get to this just because I wanted to solidify some thoughts about it! Won't go into as much detail wrt my other posts, but we can at the very least start with her handle: uranianUmbra

Uranian is an old-fashioned term, generally used for gay men, though also used in different ways to describe other-gendered people or ways of being, occasionally used as a catch-all similar to how Queer is used today. Its history is complicated and occasionally uncomfortable, as a lot of queer history can be, but notably, one potential root of this idea came from Urning

Now obviously conceptions of gender and sexuality were a lot different then, and I don't want to simplify this, but in Homestuck, it's pretty undeniable that Calliope is a woman stuck in a man's body, and this is likely why Hussie used that very specific word in the first place: to foreshadow the eventual Cherubian Twist.

And not that framing: a woman trapped in a man's body. Cherubs (at least as we are told) have two equal halves who can predominate. But the framing of their entire dynamic makes it very clear that this is Caliborn's body, not Calliope.

Callie's ideal self, in Callie Ohpeee, her Trollsona, is positioned as something to be taken off to reveal her true self. She feels that she needs to conform her exterior to match her interior self, something Caliborn never has to do.

Hell, even as she goes to sleep for the last time, she removes her jacket to reveal Caliborn's shirt underneath. It's his body, not hers.

Not only that, but throughout the story, we see that Callie experiences something close to either dysphoria or body dysmorphia. She hates the way she looks, and affects an especially sweet demeanor in order to not scare people away. She sees herself as a monster because her body becomes the most hideous masculine monster the story has ever known! Literally Lord English.

And shockingly, even though it (in my opinion) handles it poorly, the Epilogues do give us a brief insight into cherub gender, where it basically illuminates that Aranea was kind of talking out of her ass about cherub reproduction, and that Cherubs have no actual biological sex or gender. Meaning that somewhere along the way, Caliborn and Calliope CHOSE their genders, likely influenced by the human and troll internet they were permitted. Callie perhaps forming her own gender in opposition to her brother. This also probably created the ouroboros through which gender became a thing in the first place but thats besides the point. Point is, Callie was likely not a woman until she chose to be a woman. I.e. transgender.

Now the epilogues took it in what I find to be a kind of boring direction, i.e. "well cherubs have no real biological sex so that means I have to be nonbinary now" which is just such a lukewarm take on the imposition of gender but whatever. Point is that Callie is transgender end of story goodnight!!!!!

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

WRITER SARA HESS TALKING ABOUT RHAENYRA AND ALICENT'S RELATIONSHIP IN SEASON 1 AND THEIR MOTHERHOOD FOR VARIETY MAGAZINE.

“I can definitely understand that it’s hot watching complex female characters who have agency and who are trying to navigate the world and understand themselves. Like, that is hot,” nonbinary actor D’Arcy says.

“And is very different from, I suppose, more two-dimensional portrayals of female sexuality.” 

Cooke adds: “I guess what’s alluring, and quite scintillating, is that they all live in quite close proximity to each other,” noting “House of the Dragon” Season 1’s focus on keeping its characters near the Iron Throne in King’s Landing.

“Stealing these loaded looks with someone that you fancy and that’s forbidden, that’s hot. It’s all hot.”

“We had a lot of conversation at the beginning about, is this a feature or a flaw?” Hess says.

“There’s a lot of births, do we want to see a lot of births? My thinking was, every single childbirth I’ve ever seen on television, in any show, in any genre at any time, has always looked exactly the same: the woman lying on her back with her feet in the stirrups and doing the pushing and the baby comes out.”

“In my experience, women give birth in vastly different ways.”

“I thought we should show them all and they be really, really different, separate experiences and not just, now there’s that birth scene and we all know exactly what it looks like.”

FOLLOWING THE BIRTH SCENE IN EPISODE 6, D'ARCY RECALLS SHOOTING A PARTICULARLY REALISTIC MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD WHEN RHAENYRA FINALLY GETS TO REST AFTER GIVING BIRTH AND IMMEDIATELY GOING OFF TO SHOW THE BABY TO ALICENT:

“She gets in and [her sons] Jace and Luke have gone and got a dragon’s egg and want her to look at it.”

“And I just remember responding, ‘Wow, that looks perfect,’ but not looking at them at all, I was looking in the other direction.

“And that felt like what a lot of parenting is probably like.”

FOR COOKE, THE MOTHERHOOD MENTALITY HIT IN EPISODE 9, WRITTEN BY HESS AND DIRECTED BY CLARE KILNER:

“That moment in the carriage where Alicent’s hungover son asks her if she loves him, and she says it by smiling and saying, ‘You imbecile.’

“Like, it’s so obvious, this is all for you.”

“Everything that I’ve done.”

“Everything that I’ve sacrificed.”

“All the awful things I’ve done in order to facilitate your ascension is because I love the bones of you.”

BUT MOTHERHOOD IS FAR FROM THE ONLY ASPECT OF A WOMAN'S LIFE THAT FEMALE WRITERS LIKE HESS AND WOMEN DIRECTORS INCLUDING KILNER AND PATEL INFUSED INTO THE STORY, WITH MUCH OF THE SEASON FOCUSING ON YOUNG ALICENT (EMILY CAREY) AND RHAENYRA (MILLY ALCOCK) AND THEIR DEEP BOND AND INTENSE FALLING OUT.

“There’s an element of queerness to it,” Hess says.

“Whether you see it that way or as just the unbelievably passionate friendships that women have with each other at that age.”

“I think understanding that element of it sort of informs the entire rest of their relationship… Even though they’re driven apart by all these societal, systemic elements and pressures and happenings, at the core of it, they knew each other as children, and they loved each other and that doesn’t go away.”

Hess continued: “Olivia has told me she believes — and this is her headcanon — that they at some point kissed or made out or had some kind of physical interaction that Alicent’s mother found out about and forbade.”

“And that was Olivia’s head story, ‘Oh, I can’t do that. That’s not right.’ And that’s the background for her in their relationship going forward. I would be 100% down with that.”

COOKE SAYS SHE AND D'ARCY HAVE “DEFINITELY” TALKED ABOUT ALICENT AND RHAENYRA BEING “EACH OTHER'S FIRST LOVE”:

“But when it comes to our iterations of the characters, too much has happened and too much time has passed to probably even recognize those fledgling feelings.”

“But Condal and Hess weren’t “necessarily interested in ever defining” what that love meant in terms of the women’s sexuality.”

“I happen to be a queer woman, but I know straight women who had ‘Heavenly Creatures’ -esque, romantic friendship with their best friend at that age,” Hess said.

“That’s something that I think, probably — I don’t want to stereotype anybody – but it seems to be more a phenomenon with young women than it is with men, probably because whether you’re queer or not, society cares less if you’re physically intimate with each other or hugging or touching each other.”

“You can have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed and nobody cares.”

[mrghostrat]

hey happy trans day of visibility. i'll get visible why not

i'm nonbinary, specifically genderfluid. i identify with this label because idk, even though i look back at my childhood and spot signs of dysphoria and gender fuckery, i don't feel like i was ever masquerading as something i wasn't. i'm just different now. and i may be different again in the future. i was a little girl then, and i'm a little bilv now.

i'm AFAB and just passed my 2 year T anniversary. i'm loving it, and just like putting together a pinterest board of hair and fashion styles to figure out how i wanted to present my truest self, starting T to change my voice and body and facial hair was just another step in that. i love how i look now and love all the changes T has brought me.

at this point i plan to remain on T indefinitely, but knowing a friend who took T for four years then stopped because she got to where she wanted to be, i feel safe and comfortable enough to stop if i ever change my mind. this is why visibility is important 💕

i don't plan on having any surgery at this point. i thought about top surgery for a while, but considering my fluidity and how much i've enjoyed tits in the past, i think i want to keep them in case i ever want to focus on them again in the future. this is the only thing i "struggle" with; how much i would like to have a flat flat chest right now, but know i may not want that in future, and surgery is so definite. thankfully i'm happy with binders and am small enough to live in a comfy middle ground.

i'm so grateful for all the trans art in the good omens fandom, especially @chernozemm's explicit illustrations that highlight how fun and sexy tcocks are. i did look into phalloplasties and matoidioplasties once before, but never felt as strongly about it either way, which didn't seem like a good basis for such an intensive surgery. now i'm less ambivalent about my genitals and actively love them

(i also suffered from vaginismus my entire life, until about 2 or 3 years ago when i started engaging with more nsfw content and must have just? exposure therapy'd myself out of it?? it feels like i didn't do anything at all and it just went away on its own, which made me personify my vag a bit, bc i'm so fucking proud of her. now we're finally getting along, i'm taking her to my grave)

keep drawing, keep writing, keep sharing. every little thing you put out there helps people like me love ourselves more, and hearing other trans stories only helps solidify how real and genuine we are for feeling the way we do about ourselves. happy tdov

[dionysism]

okay fuck it tier list of every greek mythology or greek myth inspired musical i've listened to (so far)

with, if you care, short reviews for each below the cut. i'm like half asleep but take my poorly organized thoughts

paris the musical

this one is my all time favorite of all the ones listed here. the musical scores and vocals are just on another level. it's a rock opera so it's got guitar solos and the songs are so catchy. business is my favorite track i could loop it for weeks. i also love their patroclus characterization and i am obsessed with achilles in this unironically one of my top patroachilles adaptations of all time and the musical isn't even about them 😭😭 AND PARIS... the actual focus of the musical, i love this take on him too. it's kinda comical but also actually tragic at the same time. which i mean. paris is kinda comical but ultimately tragic in general so its fair 💀 things definitely go down differently in this than in the iliad though like agamemnon and the greeks are actually planning to invade troy before paris even shows up to take helen and ulysses (odysseus) is the only one who thinks this is stupid. he does manage to convince the rest of them to maybe Not, but then paris takes helen after what's supposed to be him going there to strike a trade deal. and agamemnon uses that as the perfect excuse to justify something he already wanted to do unprovoked anyway. also agamemnon and menelaus were going to violate xenia and kill paris in their home after making him a guest (again, before he does anything with helen) which was ?!?!!? but like similar to epic this is more like an au to me than a faithful iliad adaptation. i also love this helen characterization and the whole dynamic between hector paris and cassandra i wish i could put them all in my mouth and chew them up

ulysses dies at dawn

this is another great one. i will say this is the only album from the mechs i've listened to and the band itself has a whole ton of lore so there may be details i'm missing but i love it so much. this is definitely more of an inspired by tale—takes place in the future (i think?) on a planet that's entirely machine and metal and all animals and natural life is extinct. and all the characters are named after greek mythos characters and they have similar stories to their original counterparts but adapted to this futuristic universe and it's just so unbelievably cool. also ulysses nonbinary in this?! (the narrator says the records are lost to time and we can't be sure if ulysses was a "man, woman, both, or neither" and only refer to them with they/them pronouns) anyway i won't say too much on this one because the story tells itself and i don't want to spoil but GO LISTEN this album is fantastic

hadestown

this one i think is the most popular/well known on this list so most of you have probably heard of it but i'll still give my review. everything about this musical is incredible. i absolutely adore this take on orpheus and eurydice. and this is a take on persephone and hades i don't totally hate (because usually i do) and the way at times they paralleled orpheus to hades??? there was a quote i read from its wiki page once that sums it up pretty well, from todd osborne, "it is a musical both about how art can save us and how, especially in an apocalyptic world, hope might be the only thing we have left." just such a beautiful musical and beautiful story and the themes and messages like stop i could talk about this musical for hours let me stop

for epic i've already summed up most of my thoughts on it here

theseus the musical

um. i'm not going to lie there's multiple parts of this where i do not know what they are saying. i have auditory processing issues and i usually really need the lyrics and i cannot find any anywhere for this so i'm kinda just going on vibes. but the songs are catchy and i like the parts i do understand 😭 and well i love theseus. dearly. my little princess with a disorder my freakazoid i want to trap him in a jar like a bug and shake him around his enclosure. i'll kind of take literally anything i can get on him

penelope off broadway

full title is penelope or how the odyssey was really written and this is such a fun one. this is a comedy musical and the premise is that the epic poem, the odyssey, actually comes from fake letters penelope wrote to stall the suitors in odysseus' absence. so she's just making shit up like "umm... my men got turned into pigs so i'm gonna be late sorry babe :/" and signing it as odysseus. obviously not the most accurate characterizations but again its more of a comedy spinoff than a faithful retelling. telemachus also gets a cute little romance. (spoilers ahead if you care) they scared me for a second i thought they were having it that odysseus cheated penelope and she was gonna leave him but that's not the case and it has a happy ending so <3 this one is just so funky and silly like if you want a lighthearted not super serious musical you will love this it's really adorable and the woman who plays penelope's voice is incredible like omg some of the high notes she hits??? woah

jasper in deadland (tw suicide mention)

this one is also an inspired by/based on tale where jasper (orpheus) follows his friend agnes (eurydice) into deadland in an attempt to get her back from what was either an accident or a suicide attempt (but most likely suicide) he runs into various figures from greek norse and egyptian mythology and like it wasn't bad or anything really the songs just weren't catchy enough for me. i'm not gonna lie that's literally my only issue. i just cannot get into it and listen to it multiple times if it's not catchy enough. but the plot is cute!!

percy jackson the musical

i just don't personally care for percy jackson, sorry. never really did. you'd think as a greek mythology obsessed child i'd eat it up and i mean as a kid i did like it a little but i don't know it just never hooked me. i've tried to get back into it but it's even less enjoyable to me now unfortunately. the songs weren't catchy (to me) and i didn't like the lyrics either. it's not necessarily a bad musical. it's just not my thing

aristos the musical

sorry it just kinda felt like tsoa the musical to me and i immediately couldn't enjoy it 😭😭 that's literally all i have to say

[zombiec4ke]

Can't take my eyes off you....(Part 1)

eyefestation x hard of seeing reader... summary (I suck at making these): as you were charged of a crime that you didn't do you were sent to ###### high security prison on a death row, but you were given a chance to live free of charge if you retrieved a crystal. How was you supposed to know that it would be better to just die? warnings: some swears here and there nothing too bad...yet...

a/n: uhhh so yeah...I made it...yippe?

(Ps y/n is hard of seeing in this fic, not entirely blind they have glasses but without their glasses they're as good as blind, also gn pronouns)

##-##-20##.

you are an inmate of ###### high security prison..

your crimes are irrelevant.

whether or not you were falsely charged is irrelevant.

you have served 93 days of your # year sentence.

Today, three men from Urbanshade Corporation, being escorted by heavily armed guards, arrived at the prison.

They were searching for volunteers to help them retrieve a crystal of sorts, a highly important asset they were unable to secure during a major security breach in one of their facilities.

they stated the risk of death was high but whoever could retrieve the asset return to them would be pardoned release with cleared record and receive ##### in cash

many of your fellow inmates signed up....

you signed up as well

you are expendable....

You are not expected to return...

the submarine hummed softly in the depths, the sound echoing throughout its small surface area

you were the only inmate on the sub, the others....well, uh let's just say they couldn't make it.

So the sub was eerily quiet without the usual chatter and arguing from your cellmates. You leaned your head on the wall letting the cold metal cool the back of your head.

The sub began to ascend, and soon enough it came to a stop, and you heard the creak of a hatch opening, you lifted your head off the wall and headed to the open hatch

as you stepped onto the concrete (?) floor you heard a man from urbshade on a speaker talk about retrieving the crystal blah blah blah ect you didn't really care to listen to the low quality pre recorded message.

you crouched under some boxes and got a key card that goes to the first door and made your way to insert the key card, when a 'click' noise is heard the doors open and shows a room that is very plain besides a few drawers here and there. you walked across the room to door 2.

the next 10 doors nothing really happened...unless you count spending 10 minutes trying to find a damn key card then stuff happened.

door 12 opened to show a hallway like any other but what was different was that the lights started flickering...that confused you, at first you just thought it was electrical problems but then you heard a high pitch scream so you dove in a locker just in time before a...how do you even describe that horrible monster you saw go past from the crack of the locker....

After the coast was clear you walked out the locker and tried to steady your queasy legs that felt like they were going to give out any second...

"What the hell was that...?" you mumble to yourself even though there was no one there besides yourself and maybe 5 cameras pointed at you from all angles

the next 5 doors were the same as through the occasional flicker of lights, although you found the monster to be a bit easier to hide from the more you met it.

it felt weird calling it an 'it' but you didn't want to call it a he if it's actually a she but then again maybe it's nonbinary...do monsters even have genders?!...*cough* ok enough rambling...

*30 doors later ig; I'm already tired and I don't think you wanna hear me talking about going through more doors*

you stood in front of room 47...you felt tired and hungry...when was the last time you ate? slept?? (it's only been 7 hours)

if the monsters didn't kill you then the exhaustion sure will...you took in a deep breath and put the key card in waiting a bit before the door opened annnnddd..

Pitch. Fucking Black.

You sure are glad you found a lantern! Surely there are no monsters that hate light and will hurt you if you flash them with light!

so rather than trying you go through the door just straight through without needing a light you choose to use a your lantern, luck be told there was a damn Squiddle and it lunged at you knocking your glasses off your face

"fuck" you hissed under your breath as you took a step back not noticing you stepped on your glasses until you hear the crunch of glass

"goddammit..." you say as you try and see but the world is a blurry mess...also you're still in the dark-

well this is gonna be fun... a/n: sorry if it's not long I'm going to make a part 2 where stuff really happens so think of this as a prologue or smth like that

[poisonheiress]

Vivziepop and Queer Rep

As we all know, many fans and media reps alike have commented on the apparent "queer rep" seen in both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel with many sighting their MLM relationships and use of Sallie May as proof of Vivzie's dedication to queer rep. Yet for how much this idea is spouted across social media, I cannot say that Viv truly cares about Queer Representation in her shows. The apex of this disagreement comes from phrase that man people seem to not remember when it comes down to queer rep: Representation for one is not Representation for all.

In her hyperfocus on thin, cis mlm relationships, Vivzie creates rep for only those relationships, leaving behind countless other queer identities and relationships that also heavily need queer rep. The largest dismissal of queer individuals/relationships in HH or HB appears in characters that fall into one of three categories, The Fat, Sapphic, and The Nonbinary.

The Fat

When some of you look at this, you may be confused as to what fatness has to do with queer rep, I would tell you that it has a lot to do with it. Fat people are not inherently removed from queerness and have been there since the beginning, the creation of the term Bear is proof of that. This is the first strike on HH and HB's records.

As many other creators have thoroughly pointed out, fat representation is abysmal in both HH and HB with either shows either lacking fat rep completely or having fat characters made using more fatphobic stereotypes than I could count. With this poor managing of fat representation, its no surprise that Vivzie pop ignores all possible avenues of queer rep with fat people involved. This also impacts her presentation of mlm ships with all those in these ships only appear as thin cis men, not a single bear or trans man in sight.

The Sapphic

The second largest and arguably most obvious strike against Viv comes in her disturbing lack of sapphic relationships in both shows. While HH has at least one sapphic ship (Charlie and Vaggie), HH has none to speak of. As a result, Viv's ratio of Sapphic to Achillean relationships is heavily one-sided.

It shouldn't take me having to say this for many of you to realize that you cannot claim to have true or complete queer representation when you ignore a whole side of the queer community. While this issue in sapphic relationships likely tied to Vivzie's smaller amount of women in her stories, this does not excuse it. Having one or two of these secondary characters be in a sapphic relationship (especially Sallie May) be shown or even mentioned in passing (not random background shoots) has having a girlfriend would fix this issue, but we cannot even get that.

The Nonbinary

The final strike against Vivzie's queer rep comes in both shows ignoring the existence of nonbinary characters as a whole. While we get some presentation for the binary trans community (even though most are background characters never seen again besides Sallie May), we have yet to see a single nonbinary character in either show's canon.

This is honestly fucking ridiculous. To ignore an entire gender identity because its easier or you simply don't want to is ridiculous and should strip any claimed queer rep media from their title. Nonbinary people have always existed throughout time in different countries and cultures. To think that they're wouldn't be a single nonbinary sinner or demon in hell after all this time does not make sense.

Trans people on the binary and nonbinary side have the right to representation equally, and even if we were to ignore the concerns about Viv's current trans rep, trans people deserve more rep than random background characters and a one dimensional trans woman.

The Finale

As I end this essay, I do want to say that I wanted to discuss HH and HB's treatment and ignorance of asexuality and aromanticism as they are both highly relevant to the discussion. However, I need to do more digging on Alastor and his ace situation first before I do so in order to prevent spreading misinformation.

But even without this section, I still stand on my belief that neither of Viv's shows should be paraded around as good queer media or as truly supporting queer rep. While HH has a little more leeway with Viv's only sapphic ship, HH and HB still ignore large sections of the queer community. It feels more like Viv is picking at the parts of the community she likes more, grabbing at the more marketable identities and appearances until she has enough to call her show queer.

I hope one day Viv will listen to her fans and critiques about this lack of other queer identities but I will not hold my breath. All that is left to say is that queer people deserve better especially in adult shows and in animation. Picking and choose what queer people you include in your media simply because you like one more is the farthest thing from queer rep.

[narriose]

Thoughts on Veilguard so far:

Preface: I’m ~50 hours in with a handful of endgame spoilers.

My general values are: Story > Characters > Gameplay > Romance > Rep > Visuals.

My rating of the previous games: DA2 > DAO > DAI

Spoilers under Cut:

What I expected: Having to deal with an unappealing art style and clunky gameplay with leftover multiplayer and live service era elements that they couldn’t get rid of for the sake of the story and characters.

What I got: Well…

Let’s Start with the negatives:

-Dialogue: I want to know what happened there. Ik for a fact they had veteran BioWare writers on the team and it feels like there was a decision to dumb everything down to the point of me immediately having a line in my head that would sound better in universe every time someone spoke. It proved especially grating once I heard Morrigan speak. And when people compare the writing to MCU I cannot really protest. “Dragon Age has always been unserious” yes but like. Not every other line was a joke or relatable™️ millennial awkwardness . When jokes did happen they became memorable moments for the fandom. It’s often very difficult to listen to. Especially when Rook talks. It is getting marginally better though.

-Tone: Dragon Age has been compelling to me because it wrote conflict and trauma and corruption in a way that felt developed enough to feel grounded and believably horrific. Even with all its faults. DATV mellowed out the horrors and seems to gloss over a lot of sociopolitical dynamics and lore. Stuff like portraying crows as vigilantes and not showing the evils of Tevinter slavery. The tone itself just feels like theyre trying to make an easily marketable sanitized IP out of it to cater to a wider audience.

-Character Writing: A lot of characterization has been “Tell not show” because I’m disappointed in Lucanis and Neve. The story says one is a serious killer and the other is a cynic but both have only been friendly soft and positive which is like??? I feel like a lot of their intro has been cut out or something where they establish those traits on screen. Another thing is: there don’t appear to be actually detestable and controversial traits in characters or even internal conflict they need to overcome. They’re just dealing with some kind of external thing thrust onto them and that is very shallow to me personally.

-Intro: I know we’re not getting Origins style personalized intros again but it felt like too much is handwaived into people making their own OCs and forming headcanons when the game doesn’t let us RP much at all outside identity stuff anyway. Like how do we know Varric? Why should any of the pep talks he gives us mean anything when we haven’t experienced anything to warrant the complements he gives us?

-Villains: possibly the worst part of the story: they lit act like theyre in a preschool cartoon down to body language. No nuance no controversy no actual horror to them when in previous games the evil felt so much more pronounced because some of the villains felt human enough to be a shitty person irl.

-Rep: Sigh. Even as a transmasc I might be a little too internally transphobic for the rep in the game. It feels like so many steps ahead of what the story should be handling. Like fix the slavery problem in a meaningful way then start philosophical gender discussions about what a gender binary even is. And it’s very cringe to me when it’s spoken about in game. Like yeah I love that there’s no way to dispute what the characters are but it also feels so entirely uncreative using modern day terminology for this stuff. And I don’t mean “replace it with ambiguous sad baby talk” but something more. Like is it terrible to want that? Even if you were planning on using the word nonbinary, at least tell us what a binary even is and how it was instituted as an idea into this world. Like I do adore Taash, I just wish the gender stuff wasn’t so clumsy.

-Visuals: It’s hard man. As an artist who sees human bodies as proportion reference points, the bodies still look off to me. Like it was worse and I’m getting used to it but it’s still painful. And I’m all for trying to stylize but this particular heroforge direction was not something I would have picked.

-OST: At first I couldn’t tell Zimmer/Balfe’s stuff apart from Morris’s but yeah, the new stuff is more boring(Sans the Rivain part)

-The 3 choice thing: yeah not a fan of that. I feel like perhaps it was a part of the multiplayer era where they would not be able to import much if everyone had a massively different world state so they limited it to the tiny MC choices. Still sad that the romance thing only really matters if you romanced Solas because the Dorian cameo wasn’t anything to write home about. Kinda feels like they added him in last minute because someone pointed out how much Solas-skewed the choices were. Idk. I so expected Josie in Antiva but alas.

Now Onto the Positives:

-Codices: The very way-too modern simplified conversational dialogue style carries over to the codices. And while I despise that as a creative, I do find myself actually reading them as they come because they are so easy to absorb. I feel like a lot of people would benefit from not skipping them because there are some references and plot reveals worth checking out.

-Story: If you deafen the dialogue style, the story itself is top. Gets way better as you play and from the spoilers I’ve heard, yeah. It’s good. Can’t wait to find out more.

-Gameplay: Listen I have a massive preference for DA style combat even if most ppl call it a slog. The turn based element, the pause button, the hoarding skills I never use. It’s like coming home to me. I hated DAI combat for the amount of anxiety it induced and I usually hate fast-paced action combat in most other games. DATV made me eat my boots. Its combat is insanely fun and engaging and often times I’m looking forward to fights more than quests themselves. Very colorful, very flashy, and very effective. The pause button gives less freedom but it’s there. The combos are fun. It is like Mass Effect except I did not find commanding the companions in Mass Effect as intuitive. Tho I wish non mages had less magicey feeling attacks.

-The CC: Yeah it wowed me with the options. I like how much can be done with the facial sliders and how good the hair looks.

-Puzzles: Listen the puzzles are extremely stupid in this game. But I also am very stupid and lazy when it comes to solving them. I have looked up the vast majority of puzzle solutions for DA games. No more DA2 Fade Barrels and no more trying to circumnavigate the ad infested Fandom Wiki to get to the Kitty’s prison solution. Crafted specifically for me.

-Mechanical Things: The game is optimized insanely well. Both when It comes to your PC and the gameplay. I’m amazed how well it runs on my PC when games like BG3 and Cyberpunk make my CPU scream. Love that. As far as gameplay goes: everything is super streamlined and designed to be as un-annoying as possible. No carry weight, no collectibles as annoying and unrewarding as the shards and mosaics. The maps are easy to parse. The game does not bombard you with useless NPCs, banter can’t be interrupted and characters catch up on banter at the Lighthouse if you’ve been avoiding certain party comps by accident. The quest locator is actually helpful. Skill points can be refunded. Looting is easy and finding shit feels rewarding.

-Characters: Honestly they do have some interesting things going on and while most characters feel a little hollow so far, I was pleasantly surprised by Davrin and Bellara. Davrin is the one I’m romancing and while the actual romance isn’t groundbreaking I’m glad I chose him. Yes, his character has a lot to do with Assan and his arc, but he does have stuff going on of his own. He’s very refreshing because some of the things he says low key both makes you think and also worry about him. He’s also not your usual preppy jock type. He can be a little mean sometimes. He’s artistic and principled. He has some remnants of “opinions I don’t agree with” that I love early DA for. When it comes to Bellara, she absolutely breaks the sort of Manic Pixie/Quirky Awkward young coded girl mold. It is the fact that there is self awareness and hints of history of failure and isolation in her words. There is also masking and over-clarification that I can relate to personally. I hope there is stuff like that to other companions when I get to know them better.

Visuals: the UI and Locations are stunning. The outfits the best the game has had so far(tho wish the overall look was less stylized) The blighted stuff(sans the ogres) and the Crossroads. Beautiful.

-Dwarf Lore: started out as fucking cheesy but I just finished meeting Valta and I’m seated.

-Solas Stuff: Hated the man for a while. Caved and made a solavellan to import to get more story stuff. NGL he is actually tolerable/interesting to me in this game.

Overall: A sickly sweet combo of Disappointed and Impressed. And I’m still gonna be playing. I am used to not liking something about every DA game. That’s part of the fun for me. But damn is this one testing me. Am I having a lot of fun playing it? Absolutely. Am I finding it difficult to get through a concerning amount of dialogue…yeah. It does still feel like a DA game but also like if someone made a pg-13 live action of Inquisition and then made a supplementary game based off that. If I forget that it’s supposed to be a sequel and just treat it like an action game with plot then it’s easier. And like I’m sure at least half of what I listed as a negative can be attributed to EA meddling or prev iterations of the game being inseparable. Anyway. Can’t wait to see the ending and I will add more thoughts when I’m done.

[hangingslothcentral]

Today is the fourth anniversary of the day I launched Spirit Box Radio, and it's also the last day of trans awareness week.

I have a lot of big feelings about SBR. If you've listened to the show, you'll know that I was medically transitioning through its release. I went on T at the show's midpoint, in the middle of S2, and my voice was changing throughout the rest of the show's run. I got top surgery two months after the show ended, almost exactly to the day.

Now. We're all big enough and daft enough to be able to have a grown up conversation about this, I think. So here's some stuff about that experience I haven't really talked about before.

1. I wish there had been media which had trans creators transitioning alongside a character who is transitioning when I was younger. The main reason for this is that it would have been representation of trans people, but honestly? The main thing I wanted was to see someone transitioning over a long period of time. So often, transition seems to happen behind closed doors. Unless you are lucky enough to have lots of trans people around you (I grew up in semi-rural Wales so no luck for me there) you just do not see it happening. People, understandably, want to hide the length of the process, the messy in between stages.

2. Transitioning and playing Sam transitioning simultaneous to me was one of the most mentally challenging and emotionally vulnerable things I've ever done. I do not say this lightly; I'm a survivor of abuse and I've seen a lot of shit in my life. I've come out as nonbinary at a corporate job and argued with a university about changing my name on my graduation certificate. As much as I loved it, and still love it, and I'm intensely proud of it and SO glad it exists, making SBR was fucking brutal. Hours of editing my own voice through a period where it sounded different on a near-weekly basis. Having no idea how I sounded anymore and posting episodes anyway. Dealing with the emotional fallout of people responding weirdly to me in my real, actual life whilst portraying a character who is outcast, isolated, and terrified of himself? Challenging as fuck.

3. Many people need to examine the way they're talking about trans men. The conversations around Sam shifted very violently as my voice dropped. This is in part due to the arc this character follows, but it's hard not to notice a shift in language as dramatic as this. It started as soon as the show came back from its S2 midseason break and my voice had shifted down a bit. People talked less about Sam being cute, and for the first time, I started to see people talking about him like he was sexy. These things aren't mutually exclusive, but it was very noticeable to me, especially in contrast to conversations about Oliver, Sam's hot, cis gender, florist boyfriend, who was categorised as sexy from the off. Before my voice dropped, even though they were using the right pronouns for them, people talked about Sam with very feminine, infantilising language, and this almost entirely stopped when my voice dropped.

4. I am so fucking glad I did this. Yes, it was brutal, emotional, and I really struggled through a lot of this process, and I am so glad I did this. I will have the immense privilege of medically transitioning in the way I have over the last few years exactly once in my life. I am glad I took that vulnerable moment and made art with it. I'm glad that my transition is captured and mirrored by this thing I was making at the time it was happening. I'm glad that thousands of other trans people have listened to the show and have heard me doing this as they are doing it, or before they do it, or after, or as they're deciding not to, or finding out they can't, or realising they'll never have the chance, or any one of the myriad experiences of transness that exist. I am, frankly, honoured to have been a part of such a vulnerable aspect in the lives of so many people.

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for listening to the show, if indeed you already have. If you enjoy my work, I would love to be able to pay my bills and be able to keep making it. I have never made even minimum wage for the work I do on my shows. Please consider becoming a member.

[carnal-lnstinct]

Are you still doing requests for your Halloween event? If so, could I request either (nsfw)Perfect Cell as a vicious and obsessive yandere hunting down a female/nonbinary reader because he’s decided he wants to keep them for himself or (sfw)Frieza bringing/dragging along a reader for trick or treating with his son Kuriza and to explain this weird Earth holiday to him (can be done with or w/o reader having a kid of their own)

Hopefully these requests are within the rules and they’re something you’re interested in writing. Thank you!

FRIEZA X READER

✦✦Content: au. trick-or-treating, master and servant dynamic but only Frieza and Kuriza knows it ✦✦Warning: frieza, that's the warning. ✦✦A/N: I know very little about Kuriza so I hope this is still enjoyable!

“You’re blending in nicely.”

 You commented with a little chuckle. In an instance of mellow and fun exchanges, the formalities were lost and the difference in power seemed so trivial. Yet, the intense red stare alone quickly corrected you, reminding you who you were speaking to. You straightened up, “–Er, M-My Lord. By that I mean, you seem to be enjoying yourself more than Kuriza.”

Frieza answered with a chuckle of his own, black lips spreading into a soft, indulgent grin. “Oh yes, I suppose. These festivities aren’t entirely as demeaning as I presumed. Naturally, I would be lavished and provided tribute for my presence, even if it is something as unelegant as your earthling confectionery. Tribute is tribute…” He quickly enunciated as he ran his fingers through the pile of candy filling the small pail you were ordered to carry. As underwhelmed as he tried to seem, there was a sense of joy at the way he admired the many colorfully wrapped rewards for him simply existing in the presence of those truly beneath him. 

“I should suffer nothing less than what is rightfully owed to me from this...” He pauses for a moment, turning his head to you. “What is it you call this festival again?”

“Halloween.” You nodded, pursing your lips for a moment as you mulled over your thoughts and continued to speak. “Your tribute, though… is because…well, actually, it doesn’t matter.” You dismissed the thought with a sheepish shrug and brief laugh. “Nothing important, Lord Frieza.” You certainly wouldn’t be the one to ruin a perfectly nice outing by telling him he got so much candy because of his height and fancy “costume”. No need to get the Earth destroyed. “But can I ask why you’re so interested in an Earth holiday?”

It was then a smaller being hijacked your shoulders in a surprise attack, almost knocking you off balance and into the Galactic Emperor, stopped by his tail angled out as a painful “safety net” in your sternum. “Hiyah, mule! To the next set of village homes!” Kuriza excitedly commanded with a hand on your head and his smaller tail beating at the back of your shoulder. Candy fell out of his trick-or-treat bucket at the slightest movement from being filled to capacity. And still, more was desired. Perhaps more than a neighborhood’s worth.

“Yes, let us move on. I’d very much like to hasten this time among the earthlings towards its end before they become too friendly..” Frieza slowly began to walk forward, poised with his hands behind his back, leaving you to nurse the ache in your chest and try to keep up at Kuriza’s demanding tug of your hair. “We shall grace the earthlings for their Halloween offerings a tad longer and then be on our way, Kuriza.” Lest the infestation of saiyans catch wind and seek to become an obstacle to their treat gathering.

“Exactly…how much longer?” You muttered through your teeth, fighting to keep composure and patience.

“Until Uncle Cooler arrives!” The excited little one proclaimed.

“What?!” Both you and Frieza react in shock, Frieza whipping around to face the two of you with wide eyes. 

“You told my brother to come here?!” He quickly spat out, a bitter tremble shaking in the wave of his tail. “For what purpose?”

“So he can Trick-or-Treat with us, Papa! I sent him our coordinates before we landed.” Kuriza smiled. He leaps from your shoulder landing in front of his father. “Shouldn’t the Earth honor our entire family with their offerings of treats? We can always turn the whole planet to ashes if they disrespect us again. We could do it together!”

“As enjoyable as it would be to see this planet turned to dust in the void of space, even I know it wouldn’t be a simple task with the saiyans and their spawns here. There’s also the fact Lord Beerus frequents this particular planet. If it suddenly disappeared and he discovered it was because of us, his wrath would know no bounds! Is that what you want?” The scolding in Frieza’s tone cleared the smile away from Kuriza who started to shrink away from him, backing up into your leg. You didn’t react right away, you yourself froze at being caught in the path of his raised tone.

Frieza’s eyes glanced between the two of you and your frightful stares. He recomposed himself, an audible huff before he cleared his throat and turned his back to you both.

“Shall we proceed?” He calmly brushed off the tension and started walking again. You hear a small sound leave Kuriza as a soft visible tremble in his shoulders sends you into action without thought. You lift him under his arms and hold him on your hip, the small bead of tears in his eyes quickly wiped away by his hands as he fixed his face into a fussy pout, but it only made you smile at him reassuringly.

“At least Frieza and Cooler will play nice as long as Beerus is around, right? More candy for you!” You pointed out to him, lightly nudging his cheek with your fist and giving him a knowing wink. Kuriza gives your words thought and his smile returns, giving you a nod.

Is not the darkness sweet ?

[clowncary]

Coining Misabviriy

original post here.

coined alongside @lunainthemoona

....

Ever since I had joined conversations about transandrophobia, I have never once felt a deep connection to persue the term beyond declaring its existence and supporting those who theorize. I am not someone who is entirely sure that I even felt represented by the term, something to use and something to be used. I did not feel as though it could describe my experiences as someone who was not a man and did not have a connection to manhood outside of how I raised myself.

This disconnect had allowed me to find people who were like-minded in what I had been proposing; a term that refers to the invisibility, malgendering, and feminization of queer masculinity.

It is not the fear and subsequent discrimination of trans men, so it cannot be transandrophobia. It is not the sexism and hatred of trans women, so it cannot be transmisogyny. It is not the prejudice and erasure of nonbinary, intersex, and altersex people, so it is not exorsexism.

I have read work from different places to further aid me in this process of desconstructing what me and a wolfemic transfem have coined — Misabviriy.

Misabviriy, as it is disected, is the hate (mis-) for queer masculinity (ab- for “off” or “away”, viriy for “manhood, masculinity”).

Misabviriy and Superiority

The first point is that masculine individuals are being depicted as superior to women and above in any way as long as one performs the masculinity correctly, which gives incentive for said masculine individuals who are correctly masculine to use said performance in order to get rewarded. Then, because they are doing it correctly, there is the expectation that they must have a prize. If they do not get one, they feel as though they have been lied to and their masculinity is being threatened. Because queermascs are masculine and/or transition to masculinity, there is the assumption that they want said patriarchal power and are able to get it naturally without recoil or a fight.

Misabviriy and Invisibility

Due to the hypervisibility of queerfem individuals by queer media, transphobic outlets, and crude imagery, there is hyperinvisibility in queermascs. The interest in transfem bodies due to their sex traits, and the disinterest in transmasc bodies specifically come from the narrative that because queermascs and transmascs are either confused “little girls” or holding fragile masculinity, transfems and queerfems must be the predatory “grown men” and ugly women type who can’t date fragile mascs. To those following TERFism, queermasc people are hiding their real selves behind masculinity as a way to compensate for failing the patriarchy horribly, and are not the real culprit because they are being “groomed” and tricked into masculinity by being a tomboy or a butch. Said queermasc identity is then questioned until they are either shoved back into the closet, or they stop being masculine.

Misabviriy and Sex

Displays of misabviriy that revolve around sexualizing the sex traits of queermascs have been widely ignored in the community. Masculine intersex people have been told that they were not intersex, and that their masculinity could be changed with corrective rape. Butches get this treatment as well and often due to being lesbians and not being a woman “correctly”. Notable displays of it are with the “cuntboy” depiction where transmascs are reduced to their reproductive system, the “silent protector” type in butchphobia where a butch is deemed useful only in sex and when protectinf femmes, and the mystification of masculine nonbinary bodies when they are not visibly feminine. Queermascs who have vulvas are also expected to bottom in pornography and in relationships, leaving a hole of content and resources when it comes to topping after phalloplasty or with a tdick. In this area, queermascs have higher rates of suicide and the possibility to be sexually assaulted, and yet the only aid a queermasc will get is if they are feminine enough on the outside to hide it. Queermascs are also more likely to detransition or become feminine at the wishes of a cis or trans sexual partner, prioritizing the sexual partner’s pleasure with a sexual “tool” instead of a preference. Testosterone is a common transmasc form of HRT, and yet it is hard to be transsexual as a masc. Testosterone is a controlled substance, and no amount of market work around will help get it any easier for DIY HRT. The lack of queermascs and transmascs on T when they want to makes others believe we are still “women”, that we want to be feminine, and that once we get it we’ll be ugly. Some people, like intersex people with low T, could die without it. And yet, we still do not have it. I am not on T, but have been taking DIY DHEA, and it is because I know that I can only afford and find resources on DHEA.

Misabviriy and Malgendering

As mentioned before, malgendering is when validation of an identity is used only to be against said identity, usually for excusing violence or discrimination. Queermascs, especially transmascs, are positioned between being denied womanhood based on identity and being denied manhood for “choosing” it and doing it wrong. Malgendering is used to scare, to put fear into one for what they may face as the gender they transition to. While not exclusive to transmascs, malgendering is used against transmascs by wishes of harm, calling trans men the “men of the trans community”, and using correct pronouns and terminology to make a joke from said trans person. GNC women who embrace masculinity are targeted the same way, starting with many people using their masculinity as a way to validate their strength, only to use that affirmation to challenge them to a fight since they are “so strong”. It paints their targets as weak fragile women. The idea that queermascs are fragile and tainting their body with masculinity is used by Baeddels, Radfems, and TERFs who target trans men and call anyone else “collateral damage" for being in the way. In queer spaces, wolffian mascs and anyone who is remotely masculine regardless of gender are seen as dangerous because their ties to masculinity means that they apparently operate under the patriarchy and work for it. Queermascs, especially those who are trans men and intersex people, are more likely to be denied life saving treatments and gynaecologists due to their identity, and this denial can lead to death.

Misabviriy and Feminization

Queermascs such as masculine nonbinary people and butches have always been feminized by the outside world as a way to quell the disgust or discomfort with them being masculine. Separation of masculinity from their queer identity is a common occurrence in communities that are supposed to aid them in being who they are. As said before, queermasculinity and those who are of it are seen as confused little girls (the basis for ROGD) and predatory men due to their connection to masculinity that is “wrong”. Because of this, not only are queermascs the victim when first transitioning but are predators lurking to lure transness into innocent girls when they are post-transition and confident. From inside the community, many butches have faced being left out of media and out of the narrative when it came to lesbianism as they were slowly turned into guard dogs and sexual pleasure — focusing heavily on how a butch is “still a woman”, and the joke of “forgetting the bookbag” that is overused. Depictions of masculine women and queermascs are always in a way where their physical features “prove” them to be not actually masculine and that they are pretending to be masculine. Queermascs have also reported feeling extremely left out and lost in inclusive spaces that actively call out queer masculinity alongside patriarchal masculinity while uplifting patriarchal femininity that wishes to benefit from the patriarchy by pulling women and queer men down into terms like TIF, female brained, “woman bits”, and fake feminism that relies on bioessentialism (TME, TMA..) and gender wars (they ultimately do not earn benefits due to misogyny)

[hangesfavles]

Kitties and Compromises

4.3k words. nonbinary hange x fem reader, but readers gender is only mentioned twice.

Summary: Hange really wants a cat, and you don’t. On your way to work one day, you hear a distant meowing in a sewer drain.

No warnings btw! This is sfw and just fluffy <3

a/n!: hi! i don’t usually write fanfics. this is actually my first time seriously sitting down and trying to write a fic, but i was inspired by an experience that happened to me fairly recently!! i’m not sure if i’ll write any more fanfiction, but if y’all like my writing you can send in a request, but i can’t promise it’ll be done quickly 😓 i’ll probably only write wlw, nblw, or nblnb! as for characters, i’d be interested in writing for hange, yelena (from aot), moira o’deorain, junker queen, chloe price, or hazel callahan! also ik not that many people will probably see this, but if you like hange fanfics puh LEASE check out @abbyslev on tumblr and @sweetgirl_r on ao3! bc i love their works and they’ve both indirectly inspired me so much! pls read their work its amazing <3 cross posted on tumblr and ao3, pls don’t steal my writing btw :3

What were the odds of something like this happening to you? ​​Hange simply must’ve been manifesting this into the universe. The day started just like any other, waking up in the morning next to your spouse, Hange. You always wake up before them, reluctant to leave the warm comfort of Hange’s embrace. Even when they’re asleep they find ways to be clingy, whether that be trapping your body against their own as they cage you with their arms or simply latching onto your back and nuzzling your hair, it always makes mornings that much harder. You always admire their sleeping face before leaving your shared bed; Their peaceful expression and lack of their usual eyepatch reminds you how much they trust you. You groggily slip out of their arms, eliciting their normal whimpers and sleepy pleas for you to rejoin them. You kiss their cheek, not even bothering to respond to their words. You know they won’t remember their words or your own regardless. You get yourself dressed in your boring, formal work attire required for your office job. After fixing your hair in the mirror, you head to the bathroom first. You grab your toothbrush from the holder, smiling as you do so. The sight of Hange’s toothbrush next to your own always makes your heart flutter. Despite having lived with them for quite some time, you always fall victim to the butterflies in your stomach when you see your items mixed with their own. Simple things, like their “Best teacher” mug gifted to them by one of their students next to your plastic and faded Hello Kitty cup you’ve had since childhood, or your coat hanging on the same rack as theirs.

Your next stop is the kitchen. You always make lunch for yourself as well as Hange the night before, otherwise they’ll skip lunch entirely or on rare occasion buy fast food. It never bothers you, though. You love being able to do nice things for them. You know they appreciate it, because they send sweet ‘thank you’ messages along with a photo of them eating it every day without fail. Seeing their smile while eating the food you prepared specifically for them makes your effort completely worth it. You grab your food, placing it into your bag.

The third and final place you head towards is the living room. You grab your laptop- previously discarded- from the coffee table and place it in your bag as well. You groan softly with annoyance as you remember how Hange had distracted you last night from finishing a particularly long assignment from your boss. You had been working diligently for a few hours before Hange arrived home, demanding attention from you. You can’t even blame yourself, because how could you say no to your loving spouse’s puppy eyes? Not to mention the fact they had also enticed you by offering to watch a new movie with you until it was time to make dinner. That’s another action that never fails to make your heart beat faster in your chest. They make dinner while you prepare tomorrow’s lunch, always on the counter closest to them. You sigh as you think about the fact you’ll have a little bit of extra work to do while you leave the house and enter your car to drive to work.

Hange loves you. Everything about you, and anything that comes with you. They love your day-to-day routine, never growing bored even when doing monotonous tasks and chores. Things they had hated previously have magically become more interesting, like grocery shopping or doing laundry. But even so, something felt… missing. They were 100% sure this feeling has nothing to do with the love they have for you, or the love you have for them. They undeniably and unconditionally love you, otherwise they wouldn’t have proposed to you. They knew early on into your relationship that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you by their side. Because of this, they want to have a family with you. Neither of you had been particularly fond of the idea of having children- at least, not yet. Having a child is a lot of work, as well as an incredibly big time and financial commitment. They want a cat. They knew that they wanted a pet cat before they had even moved out of their parents’ house… However, they also knew that you were against the idea. They’ve been begging for the past few months about how badly they want to adopt one, only to be shut down by you, saying how expensive it would be to buy one, as well as the essentials for it: a collar, carrier, grooming supplies, litter box, litter, a scooper, toys, food bowls, food in general, as well as occasional vet visits. Between both of your jobs, you and Hange live comfortably. If the two of you agreed to cut back on recreational spending, they were sure buying a pet was within reason, but they knew you didn’t want to. You enjoyed being able to go on nice dates with them on occasion, to the movies, aquarium, dinner, art museums, and sometimes you even do escape rooms together. They also savor the dates you go on together, but that doesn’t stop them from asking you at least twice a week if you’ve warmed up to the idea of owning a cat. Spoiler alert, you haven’t. So imagine their surprise when they receive a video call from you in the middle of class, revealing you holding a dirty, gray kitten with one hand.

Really, what were the odds of this happening? After getting out of your car when you arrived at the office building, you hear loud, high-pitched cries coming out of a nearby sewer. Your kind heart wouldn’t and couldn’t ignore it. You follow the sound, crouching in front of the drain, that’s when you see it. The tiniest kitten you’ve ever laid eyes on, seemingly trapped at the bottom of a sewer drain. You jog as fast as your heels can take you, alerting your boss about the situation, telling him you’ll clock in as soon as you can help the poor thing. He graciously allows you to do so, a perk of being a dedicated manager. You jog back towards the drain, kneeling down to look at the kitten again. You were sure if you called the cops that they would take hours to show up, if at all. Instead, you search for the phone number of your local fire department.

Saving this goddamn cat was a long process. Who knew removing the cover of a drain would take so long? It had taken over two hours to remove the cover, and then another forty five minutes to lure the kitten close enough for the firefighter to grab. The kitten was left in your care after it was safely removed from the drain. Luckily, it was dry except for its paws. You were considering what you should do at this moment. The kitten doesn’t seem to have a collar, and you can see a few fleas crawling around on its back. You realize that you simply can’t place it on the ground to roam free once more, what if it’s hungry? What if it gets hurt or stuck again? You’re not sure you would be able to sleep at night knowing you abandoned the cat. You figure you should first and foremost take it to the vet to see if it possibly has an owner who microchipped it. Before doing so, you decide to do what any rational person would do, call Hange. You feel bad for bothering Hange when you know that they’re working, but you wanted to tell them what you’ve dealt with for the past three hours.

When Hange feels the vibration of their phone in their pocket, illuminating from your call, they know that they should answer. They hold their phone in their hand before glancing around their classroom, the eyes of their students peering at them curiously. They chuckle nervously. “...Ah, pardon me for a minute! My wife is calling me. Feel free to chatter while I’m away, just be sure to keep it down, okay?” They give the class an awkward thumbs up and a matching smile. They aren’t sure if you’ve ever called them while they were working, and they feel a pang of worry as they step out of their classroom and into the hallway to answer the call.

The look on their face was priceless. Their eye widens a little with confusion, their lips parting as if they wanted to say something, but they clearly have trouble finding the words. You speak before they do, explaining briefly how you heard the kitten crying, the amount of time it took to save the small creature, and how you plan to take it to a vet to see if it has an owner. After you’re finished speaking, Hange is quick to ask you “Can we keep it if it doesn’t have a chip? C’mon, pretty please? This opportunity is perfect! We won’t have to pay hundreds of dollars to adopt one, we just gotta cover the essentials!” They beg you, barely even stopping for breath as they plead quickly. “I don’t know, Han… Let me take it to the vet first. I’ll let you know what happens from there.”

Hange has been on the edge of their seat all day. You’ve been sending them updates, albeit slowly, considering the kitten is being tested for multiple things, like parasites, ear and eye infections, and other long term health conditions like feline leukemia. What they know so far is that the kitten is- according to the vet- probably a girl, not microchipped, and the poor thing is infested with fleas. You had mentioned to Hange that the vet said it’s a little bit early to tell if she’s really a girl, but that she currently looks like one. Hange has never been so attached to their phone at work before. They can’t help but glance at it between sentences, hoping to see their screen lit up by a message from you.

Today has been tiring, despite not even truly having gone into work. You’re stressed, nervous, and worst of all, bored. Your boredom doesn’t help your running thoughts. Instagram can only distract your brain so much when all you can think about is this kitten you’ve unwillingly bonded with. The longer you sit in the waiting room, the more you realize how worried you really are about being able to keep the kitten, despite your initial reservations about keeping a stray animal. She was just that cute. Throughout the whole car ride to the vet, she sat in your lap obediently, even curling up into a ball and purring. Not once did she cry or try to escape your lap. She had only started crying once you left her alone with the vet, and that broke your heart more than you’re willing to admit. You already feel like you have a bond with her, and it would be devastating if she happened to be sick or injured. What you’re waiting for right now is for her to use the bathroom. Number two is preferable, but they would work with number one if that’s all she could do. You silently thank yourself for stopping by a grocery store to get her some canned cat food, which she had eaten in the car on the way here. After waiting in the vet for a whopping 4 more hours, they had concluded all of the proper tests. The vet calls you back into the exam room, ready to talk about the results. Apparently, she ended up doing number 2 when she was left alone in a kennel. “Hello Mrs. Zoe!” He says with a friendly smile. “So, I���ll start with the bad news. Our little friend here has plenty of fleas, which I’m sure you saw already, and after running tests on her stool, I found that she does indeed have a parasite.” After hearing his words, you feel your nervousness festering more than ever. You nod at his words, urging him to continue. “But, there’s plenty of good news. The parasite is nothing life-threatening. She just needs to be medicated every day for a week. Other than that, she is entirely healthy. Do you plan on keeping her?” You think about your answer for a moment, but inside, you knew your mind was already made up. You had plenty of time to think about it in the waiting room, and you can’t deny the fact you’re already smitten with the small animal. You nod at him, a small smile appearing on your face as well. “Well, that’s great! You’ll have to come back tomorrow or the day after to pick up her medicine. We’ll give you a call when it’s ready to be picked up.” He flashes you another award-winning smile before leaving the room to retrieve the kitten. “Congratulations, she’s very well behaved.” He comments as he hands her back to you carefully. “Thank you, doctor. My spouse is going to be absolutely over the moon.” You giggle softly as you hold her once more and leave the office. You hold the kitten in one hand, and reach into your pocket to check the time on your phone. By now, it was almost time for Hange to get off of work. You sit in the car, the kitten once more making herself comfortable on your lap. You try not to think about her fleas as you take a moment to video call Hange once more.

Hange had just finished their last class of the day when you called. They were sitting at their desk, grading some old assignments before they officially left school. This was typical for them, because they absolutely hated dealing with the traffic caused by all of the other teachers, as well as students and school buses leaving the area at once. They see your call and immediately answer with a huge, dopey smile on their face. “Hi, love!” They exclaim, evidently excited for whatever updates you’re going to give them. When the video loads, they aren’t met with your dazzling beauty, but another small, adorable face. You can’t help but giggle as you look down at your phone, the angle making the kitten look funny. She paws the screen in front of her. “D'aww!! She’s so cuteee!” Hange squeals with excitement at the view. You giggle lightheartedly at Hange’s childish excitement. Their enthusiasm for the world around them was something that drew you in immediately about them, and it is still a trait that you adore. “Isn’t she? She’s so sweet and well behaved.” You move the phone away from the kitty, instead showing Hange your face. “Has she melted your cold heart already?” They tease with a soft chuckle. “Oh, shut up Hange!” You giggle at their joke anyways. “I’m just teasing, love. Soooo… Is she ours? Is she healthy?” They ask excitedly, but they already assume that the answer is yes, considering how happy you seem to be. “I just got done speaking with the vet, apparently she has a parasite.” You notice Hange’s lips part into an ‘o’ shape as you say this. You can also notice the concern morphing its way into their features. “But he said that after being medicated for… like… a week or so, she should be perfectly fine.” Hange’s earlier excitement makes a comeback, the worry melting off their features as they squeal a bit. “C’mon, we have to keep her!” They whine and plead. “You love her already, it’s obvious. Stop avoiding the question.” A pout forms on Hange’s lips as they try to convince you for the umpteenth time to have a pet. You sigh softly at their cute expression, giggling breathily at their antics. “I do love her. And you’re right, this is a perfect chance for us to have a pet since we didn’t have to buy her. I guess love is about compromise, or whatever… And since I know how much you’ve always wanted a cat, we can keep her.”

Hange had rushed home in record speed. It’s shocking that they got home in one piece without any tickets or crashes. You were right in the assumption that they would be over the moon about this perfect coincidence, Hange wanted to meet her more than anything. You have been home for a bit by the time Hange arrives at your shared home. They practically launch through the door, before realizing their excitement might startle the kitten. When you hear the door opening, you greet them at the door with your arms open wide. They quickly rush into your embrace, lifting you up and enthusiastically shaking you around. They place a chaste kiss on your lips before putting you on the floor once more. “Not that I’m not excited to see you, but where is she?” They ask with childlike excitement. They’re practically bouncing off the walls. As if on cue, a high pitched cry emits from the bathroom. “I have her in the bathroom right now and I put a blanket in there with her. We’re-” Your sentence is cut off by Hange making their way to the bathroom, carefully opening the door. You smile at their excitement, following after them. “Make sure she doesn’t get out. We’re gonna need to give her a flea bath before she can leave the bathroom.” Hange mumbles out a ‘mhm’ before kneeling beside the bathtub. The kitten is looking up at them with big doe eyes. Hange is doing all they can not to squeal and shout from how utterly adorable she is. You decide to take a seat on top of the closed toilet, simply content to see your partner so lively. Hange carefully outstretches their hand to the animal, who seems to back away the tiniest bit. “Heeeeyyyyyyy baby…” They whisper quietly. “Pspspsp…” The kitten sniffs Hange’s finger skeptically, but doesn’t react otherwise. They take this as a sign that it’s okay to pet her. Two of their lithe fingers scratch at the top of the kitten's head, much to her content. Hange mumbles sweet, hushed words to the animal that you can’t really hear. The world around you seems to grow blurry, as you tune out everything else that isn’t your partner and your newfound pet. There wasn’t anything else worth caring about at the moment. The tenderness Hange displays, a stark contrast from their typical erraticism, has your heart thumping in your chest. Hange has always been equally caring as they are observant. While Hange will probably always be excitable, they’re very aware of other’s emotions. They know when someone is overwhelmed or tired, or maybe shy and nervous, meaning they always know when they should turn it down a notch. Quiet moments with them were always your favorite moments. Moments where you two could simply be, without the need for conversation or action. Moments like this morning, where you can stare at their tired face without any ounce of uncomfort. Hange scoops up the kitten into their arms, holding her near their chest, seemingly unbothered by the fleas littering her body. They look up at you, smiling with their teeth and giggling. Their eyes are squinted shut by how much they’re smiling. Even as you’re lost in thought, not fully aware, you smile back at them unconsciously because it’s second nature. You snap out of your trance when you see a flea jump off of her body. “Yuck.” You say, squishing the bug with your shoe and picking it up with a piece of toilet paper. “I picked up some flea shampoo when I went to get her something to eat.” You say, holding up a purple bottle. “She won’t like this, but put her in the sink.”

The two of you have spent the better part of an hour picking the rest of the bugs out of the kitten's fur. The flea bath helped substantially, but there were still some that crawled around. Neither of you have spotted bugs for a few minutes, so you retire from your task, wrapping the small animal in a towel as Hange holds her, trying to transfer their own warmth to her. “She’s such a sweetie.” They coo softly, bouncing the kitty as if she’s a small child. “We should feed her soon. Did you get anything else from the pet store?” They ask, tilting their head at you as they ask. “No, she got really antsy when she was alone for too long, so I tried to run in and out as fast as possible. We’re gonna have to go back.” “Oh, but we can’t leave her to go out, what if she thinks we abandoned her!?” They ask you with puppy eyes. “We can’t take her out, she could still have fleas. I can ask someone to watch her while we go out.” You say, pulling out your phone to text one of your and Hange’s shared friends.

Levi and Erwin step into your home, the former appearing to be intensely displeased. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this on a weekday.” Levi grumbles, while Erwin smiles politely at you and Hange. “He’s being dramatic, it’s no trouble. You two will only be gone for an hour before we head home again.” Erwin chuckles, walking to the living room, where the now dried kitten sits on the couch. She runs and hides at the sight of so many people. “Thank you guys for doing this, I know it’s last minute.” You chuckle nervously at Levi’s obvious irritation. “We didn’t exactly have the luxury to give you notice, Shorty.” Hange teases, grinning as Levi rolls his eyes. “Whatever, three eyes. Get going so we can get home already.” Hange pouts, not only from the nickname, but also at the fact they’re being rushed out of their own home. You try not to burst out laughing at the nickname. “Three eyes is diabolical.” You choke out, opting to take their hand and head out, hopefully so Hange doesn’t feel embarrassed. “We’ll be back soon, thank you again!” You wave, before hopping in the car with a pouting Hange to get supplies for your currently unnamed pet.

Who knew shopping with Hange would take so long? You knew, actually. You were vaguely aware of the fact that Hange’s erraticism isn’t the best trait when trying to go shopping quickly. You’ve only been shopping with them a few times, and after an hour of bouncing around the store, it becomes a little bit tiring. This doesn’t even account for the many different random items they tend to pick up and insist they need. A similar thing happens when you attempt to shop for your cat. You asked Hange to find a decently sized litter box, and they come back to beg you for toys they think look funny, a bed shaped like a ramen cup, a hat for the kitten, and a matching onesie for her. You have to refrain from twitching your eye as they entirely forgot to get the litter box you tasked them to find. You end up putting the toys, bed, and hat in the basket, since you planned on buying her these things anyway. “Han... My beloved... You forgot the litter box.” You watch as they chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of their neck. “Right... Be right back.” They turn away, determined to get the litter box, (and only the litter box,) while you decide between two bundles of kitten food.

Hange finds you once more, looping their arms around your waist. You’re momentarily shocked, but you quickly recognize the scent of them surrounding you. They place their head on your shoulder, proud of the fact they managed not to pick up anything except the litter box. They poke your cheek, giving you a grin. When you turn your head towards them, they tap their finger against their cheek, silently asking to be rewarded for completing the task you gave them. You roll your eyes playfully and give them a soft peck.

You return home after an hour and a half, being slightly delayed by Hange’s typical short and ever-changing attention span. Erwin helps you and Hange bring in the bags of cat necessities. You and Hange tiredly plop down on your couch once you’ve finished, feeling tired from all the events of the day. Levi sighs from beside you. You and Hange look at him, seeing the cat curled up and sleeping on his lap. “This damn cat wouldn't leave me alone. Always craving attention, like it can't survive without constant petting. Needy little furball.” He grumbles. Despite his attitude, he still allows her to sleep in his lap, which you and Hange are both grateful for. He carefully picks her up, shifting her into Hange’s lap instead. They both try their best to ensure she isn’t disturbed by the transfer. You stand up as Levi does, seeing the couple out. “Thank you both again for doing this. We’ll see you guys on Sunday for dinner. It’s our turn to cook this week!” You giggle. Erwin pats your shoulder in a dad-like fashion. “Don’t mention it. Levi was loving the attention she gave him. See you Sunday.” He smiles. To this, Levi rolls his eyes, elbowing his lover lightly as you see them out.

Once again, you plop on the couch beside your own lover. They look at you with worry. “What are we going to do with her? She’s gonna be so scared if we leave her at home, all alone...” You raise your eyebrow, wondering where this conversation is leading. “I’m sure she’ll get used to it. It’s impossible for us to have someone watch her every day while we’re at work.” In response to your words, they cover the kitten's ears. “You’re evil! How could you talk about our daughter that way?” They pout, giving you puppy eyes. You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully at their joke. “You know...” They start. You look at them tiredly, knowing you probably won't like whatever comes next. “We could always get another to keep her company.”

[themaveriqueagenda]

here are all the symbols that have been proposed for maveriques at some point:

the comet symbol was proposed as planet symbols (at the time of its proposal) were associated with binary gender, but it still keeps the pattern of celestial objects. it never really picked up as it was also already being used as a general nonbinary symbol. now it has pretty much fallen out of use entirely. the problem with the comet symbol is that when the unicode character is inserted somewhere, it turns into an emoji and looks nothing like the picture.

the earth symbol was briefly considered for maveriques because it's a planet symbol, but it was quickly discarded after some sources stated its use as an intersex symbol. i don't know if nowadays it's actually used as an intersex symbol. i've never seen it and have seen other symbols for intersexness instead. the earth symbol has the same problem as the comet symbol.

the sun symbol was proposed due to the colours of the maverique flag, as well as maveriques' "burning inner conviction" about their gender. it follows the pattern of using celestial objects while not using a planet. the symbol isn't used much for maveriques though, as in many cultures the sun is associated with masculinity. especially after solarian was coined, the sun became even more associated with masculinity in nonbinary spaces. nowadays, this sun symbol is sometimes used as a disabled symbol.

the pluto symbol was suggested because it follows a pre-established pattern of gender symbols (celestial objects closest to the sun) and it doesn't look like the venus and mars symbols, setting it apart from binary gender symbols. this symbol never really picked up.

this symbol was designed on a tumblr blog that no longer exists. the meaning of the symbol is explained like this: "the line in the center of the circle represents the binary and the filled in circle represents maveriques not being any part of it. the lines going sideways and extending in both directions is to show that no one is the same yet the people who identify as maverique have this identity in common." while the meaning is explained, it's still unclear. despite that, this seems to be the most commonly used maverique symbol. because this is not a symbol that already existed, there's no unicode character.

this symbol was created by me a few months ago. the circle is a common component of gender symbols nowadays. the two small circles on the left and right symbolise the gender binary. the bigger circle in the middle symbolises maveriques, not "touching" the gender binary. there's no unicode character for this, because it's not a pre-existing symbol.

[whats-it-mean]

HII so umm could i request fuutaxreader who is convinced that their room (...cell?) is haunted?

After being met w skepticism theyre like ok. ill have to show u then.

this is mostly inspired to the mysterious scratching i keep hearing at my door every night 🙏🙏 also btw ur works are amazing+ ur a lifesaver for making 'milgram x' contemt tysm

Haunted cell is nothing in the face of a protective Fuuta ☆

Fuuta Kajiyama x Reader 

For @twodawns !!!

A/N - yeah.. so.. about that scratching n at your door…? it.. its me… I’m sorry…. I need more milgram friends.. so… i may or may not have tracked you down….. lovingly though, i SWEAR!!! (also TYSM)

C/W - ghosts ^^ 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After about a week of trying to write it off as just some odd noises, you were starting to really lose sleep over the ominous scratching and scraping noises surrounding your cell at night. Being in a prison watched over by a nonbinary fifteen year old and a talking rabbit was unnerving enough, but you could deal with that. At least the rabbit provided entertainment. But the way your cell door moved in an almost controlled manner at night? Ahahahah. Nope, you were not putting up with that.

Last night, you’d even purposefully stayed up just to wait and see if anything would happen while you were watching- and it had, relentless sounds of scratching and dragging metal near your doorway bothering you all night. You had gotten no sleep, staying up the entire time after that out of sheer terror.

However, you and your feeble arms had no chance of defeating whatever ghosts had decided to torture your sleep schedule, so you knew trying to do something against it on your own was a futile attempt. The next most logical choice was to ask Es for help, them being the prison guard and all, but you already knew that poor kid was getting worked to the bone with absolutely no pay, so you preferred to leave them alone.

So here you were, standing in front of the cell door for prisoner 003, hovering your fist in front of it for a moment before knocking down on the cold metal.

Fuuta looked disgruntled as he peeked his head through an opening in the door, red hair disheveled and dark circles under his eyes as he glared up at you with a slight pout on his face. “What do you want?” His voice was in his usual growly tone, but softer than he used it with most when it came to you.

You gave the boy a sheepish grin. “Um.. sooo… I have this little… problem back at my cell.”

He narrowed his eyes at you as he released his grip on the door, letting it open properly as he leaned against the doorframe. “How’s that my issue? Shouldn’t you bug the little brat about that sort of thing?” He huffed, tapping his foot against the floor in impatience.

“Well- It’s. Uh. It’s complicated.”

He continued to stare at you, not convinced as he just looked at you with a sort of judgement in his eyes. He sighed in defeat after a moment before stepping back, a silent invitation for you to come in. You complied, shuffling past the redhead and taking a moment to glance over his cell- it was esentially the same as yours, except with a couple of drawings from Amane taped up against the walls. “What’s the issue?”

You fell silent for a moment. “Well- So- Uh- I think my cell is haunted???” 

Fuuta blinked at you.

“You.. think your cell.. is haunted?” You nodded. He scoffed, looking at you for a moment as if to tell if you were being serious before crossing his arms. “No it isn’t.”

“It is! I swear, it is! There’s these- noises- and--”

“Noises?” He grinned at you. “Oh, how horrible. You sure sound like you’re in really grave danger--” You elbowed him at the stomach, succesfully getting him to shut up before glaring at him.

“Lemme show you, then.” Fuuta blinked at you, hesitating for a moment before shrugging with an air of forced boredom. “If it’s a safety concern, I’m sure i can convince Es to let you sleep on a mattress on the floor in my cell tonight. Then you can see for yourself.”

Hours passed, you having headed back to the commons area to converse with some of the other prisoners for a little bit, before dinner, evening routines, etcetera etcetera. After the rather shabby meal, complete with a few stray pieces of Jacklope’s hair which you had to pick out of your food, you made your way to Es’s office, knocking quietly on the opened door to announce your presence.

“Can I help you?”

Ah, yes. Here came the social anxiety. For being fifteen, Es was terryfying. “Um. So.. ahaahah. I think my cell is haunted and since I don’t feel entirelt safe would it be okay if Fuuta stayed in there??” Your words stumbled over each other as you spoke with unreasonable speed, face red with how stupid it really sounded when you said it all. Not to mention Es’s judgemental stare, which was served with a side of cold silence.

“...As long as you don’t do anything… bad… then I see no issue with it.” 

After everyone went about their usual routines and got themselves ready for bed, Es supervising as you and Fuute carried the mattress into your own cell. All the other prisoners said goodnight, not going without a little chirp from Mahiru about how cute she thought it was that Fuuta was staying with you, and Es finally let you be after plenty of promises that you would not be any ‘passionate frolicking’. 

An uneasy silence settled over the two of you for about twenty minutes while you just, kind of.. sat there, Fuuta staring at the door expectantly before turning to you with an annoyed expression. “Thought you said there were noises---”

Perfectly timed, the indistinct noise of what sounded like a faint, pained cry coming from the door, to which Fuuta jumped noticeably, muttering something of a ‘what the fuck’ under his breath. He glanced back up at you, now much more trusting as he gave you an almost concerned expression. “You hear that shit every night?”

You nodded. “For at least a week.”

With a pause, Fuuta slowly crawled up onto your bed and inched closer to you, refusing to speak as he directed his gaze back at the door. After about one whole minute of slight peace, there was another noise, and you could feel Fuuta tense up next to you, before he ultimately reached an arm over and draped it over your shoulder. 

"I.. I'll keep you safe, okay?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── End

(Props to @mondaymelon for giving me the phrase ‘passionate frolicking’. truly, a sacrifice we will never forget.)

[icey--stars]

BABES! I just had the best thought

okay, so, hear me out,

So, Azzy and reader are in a relationship, right?

but nobody knows about, though it’s really obvious, and one day they’re out on a date or smth and Cassian like, walks into the restaurant and just see’s them and is like “wat?!👀👀” and then it’s just reader and Az trying to convince cassian not to tell the rest of the I.C.

that’s literally all I’ve been thinking about for the past like 10 minutes

okay, byeeee <333

when i tell you how much i love this idea, you would laugh at me. yES i love this. and i have no self control so im writing it. BEHOLD. god i love writing cheeky cassian. *ps ya'll, this aint count as a story, im just lettin it fall into the abyss of posts lmao

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

"How have you been doing today?" I asked, twirling my straw around in my water. I looked at the winged male in front of me, seeing his hazel eyes flash up from where they were staring at the menu.

"Today hasn't been too bad, honestly. How's yours?" Azriel replied, dropping the menu back on the table and reaching out for my hand. I smiled as he grasped it gently in his, just for that little bit of contact. It was one of the things I loved about Azriel. His need to always be touching me. And although it made our "secret" relationship really obvious to everyone else, I still couldn't help the fact my heart burst with affection every time.

"Tiring, I had stupid paperwork," I grumbled unhappily. "Paperwork is the worst."

"I agree," Azriel snorted, smiling wide.

Now, at that moment, both of our dumbasses were completely so locked into each other's eyes that we didn't see when another burly Illyrian warrior sauntered into the restaurant we were having our weekly secret date. And we didn't notice when his jaw dropped open wide after seeing us, and then starting to march over like a male on a mission.

I heard his pounding footsteps though. I looked up, fingers tightening around Azriel’s. Cassian had the most shocked look on his face. He stopped a couple feet before the table, mouth agape and looking between Az and I with swift glances.

“Cass,” I regarded, anxiety now curling in my gut. This was supposed to be a secret.

"You two-" he started.

"Cassian," Azriel growled in a warning tone. "This stays between us, got it?"

Cassian snorted. "Oh yeah, turn on the scary tone, see if it works Az. It hasn't for the last 500 years, don't think it will now. I am so telling everyone. Even if its been obvious this entire-"

"Cassian," I now growled.

"Yes?" The warrior said, a smirk planted on his face.

"Don't tell anyone."

"No," Cassian laughed.

"Please don't tell anyone?" I asked, now in a more polite tone that hid the anxiety curling in my gut. Our relationship coming forth... both me and Az were afraid it would affect the team, and the team could not under any circumstance be affected.

"Cute, but not enough." Cassian was fucking proud of how stubborn he was right now, I realized.

Azriel stood up, still shorter than the other male. "Brother, don't."

"You'll have to stop me-" Cassian cackled, backing away and toward the door.

"Gods-" I swore, standing up as well. "Cassian, get your ass back over here."

I saw a couple others at the restaurant glancing over now and winced. So I marched past Az and grabbed Cassian, dragging him forcefully back over to the table and forcing him into a seat. I saw Azriel tighten his shadows over the male's wrists against the arms of the chair.

"You will not tell anyone," Azriel growled.

"I will tell everyone," Cassian replied cheekily. "So how long has it been official? You both suck at hiding it by the way."

Azriel groaned, sitting down again and rubbing his forefinger and thumb over his eyes, frustrated. I kicked Cassian from under the table.

"Tell no one," I ordered.

"Tell everyone."

"Tell no one."

"Tell everyone."

And that... ladies and gentlemen, and my nonbinary pals... is how Cassian found himself tied to a bedpost, with a gag in his mouth, in his own room.

And Az and I both continued our dinner like nothing had happened. We acted like we hadn't just had to threaten Cassian with his biggest fear.

After all, Bryaxis was my friend.

[sburbian-sage]

You know, you get all these people who talk about the funny and silly things they do in their sessions and the weird things they find but

I feel like you dont get enough people that talk about how utterly horrifying it is to live like this

To be eternally stuck in a body thats never yours and be forced through death over and over and over

I should be turning 65 this year or at least close, copious amounts of time travel make it impossible to keep accurate track. Ive gone through dozens and dozens of sessions, learned things, forgotten most, ive loved and lived and died, and fought and fought and fought because in sburb you can never stop fighting not even for a moment

Ive turned entire sessions into fragmented code and ripped open holes into the deepest of voids and me and my coplayers jump in every time, new friends, new beings, new lives

Ive waded through the gene code slop of cancerous frogs and come out the other side more construct and grist than flesh only to wake up eternally 13

Ive killed at least a dozen coplayers, either because they were pkers or for the safety of my other coplayers

Ive been transitioning in every session for nearly 30 years only to finish the game and wake up 13 in the wrong body over and over

Sburb is hell, or as close as we can get

But its also so, so, beautiful

Watching skaia break the horizon on prospit and sink below on derse, hundreds of lands never cease to be beautiful in their own ways, fog on broken buildings and mist in endless pines, oceans of anything imaginable sloshing on candy cane beaches and sand made of broken screens

The birth of a Genesis Frog is continuously one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, the sheer majesty of a being that contains a universe, of such internal scale that it boggles the mind

Sburb is so many many things but above all it is a game of creation and survival, its a world drunk on its own pure space, pure volume. Where the laws of physics don't exist and space is a suggestion and time less than a guidebook, its imagination in its purest most distilled form

Its my home, and the only thing ive ever known

I was originally going to be really mean and point out that "nobody talks about how badly SBURB sucks" because everyone already knows it. Every bad thing you described, 20 people are experiencing *right now*, in this very moment. It's kind of like walking into the Room Full of Spikes That Stab You In The Eyes, seeing that everyone is telling stories to take their mind off of things, and then asking why they don't acknowledge how painful the spikes are. But this kind of turned into a sappy vent post. Which I also don't like, but I'll allow it this one time.

Sorry to hear about the transitioning thing, by the way. I'm fairly certain that SBURB should be scanning your brain and generating Dream Self and God Tier bodies congruent with whatever's in there. Either this is a very bad and persistent bug you've kept running into, or you're genderquirked in a different way. Every time I've seen discussions on this topic, it's always centered binary trans people. Maybe the nonbinaries are better at dealing with it, or turned into oysters and can't type or something.

I am glad to hear about everything else though. Fight on!