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#even though it took like 4 hours
renthedevil · 27 days
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ya' ever have something completely consume you for a couple hours?
anyway not enough people on here are talking about whitepine and that is criminal.
also made a speedpaint for this lol
no words or boarder version !
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teabutmakeitazure · 3 months
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i know i simp for the guy but i would love to have ratio as my professor because this man would genuinely listen to me as a student and give me an extension on my assignment if i've been in the trenches (the big sad)
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leieryx · 3 months
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for make a terrible comic day except im way too invested i <3 making comicke
good timing though i was just about to draw :)
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jawz · 15 hours
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can't stop thinking about shannon hanchett's death. i feel sick. i don't even know if something like justice exists for what was done to her.
#like if they call you crazy they will just put you wherever. they will neglect you or torture you or kill you. they dont fucking care.#nobody does#temporarily losing my legal autonomy as an adult via being in the psych ward is one of the scariest things ive ever experienced#and i didnt go thru a fraction of what shannon hanchett went thru. i mean the difference of psych ward and jail too#i was in 4 times inpatient and 1 outpatient as a teenager and it sucked sure. but it was like a playground compared to the adult ward.#but after my overdose age 20 one of the cops got in the ambulance with the EMTs as i was losing consciousness#and the cop rode with us literally pounding on my chest to try and keep me awake and like asking 'who is the president' etc. but#he was hitting me with his knuckles. my breastbone fucking bruised black and blue. it took weeks to fade away#(mastectomy is relevant here bc i have less tissue in my chest than most ppl do. the bones feel closer to the surface)#so yeah that hurt like a mf but i didnt feel it fully in the moment cause i lost consciousness during the 7-10 min ride to the ER.#and then after being in the ER on an IV for ? hours and being moved to the psych ward... they just fucking left me for 2-3 days. i dont eve#KNOW because i dont REMEMBER because i was fucking zonked from all the pills i overdosed on. i had no sense of time at all.#and it turns out one of my best friends was showing up every day & begging/demanding the nurses to put me on an iv bc i was dehydrated#since i was out of it obv not able to eat or drink. and they wouldnt. and she was begging them to check on me or attend to me because they#simply left me in my room for days. no clue if a doctor saw me after i left the ER. my blood pressure was literally 60/30 though.#which was extremely painful thats all i remember of those days. it still hurt so fuckin much the day i finally got up and was semi consciou#like my muscles were being squeezed yet exploding. walking was so difficult. it was some of the worst pain of my entire life#besides some sense memories of incredible pain and discomfort it's like blank from when i passed out in the ambulance until that 3rd day#my friend told me later she didnt even know if i was in a coma or something. they wouldnt tell anyone anything#so then i saw the psych team and i remember seeing the room as if thru a 10 meter tunnel. and the doctor started telling me#how lucid and aware i was. repeatedly. he was like. pleasantly surprised. meanwhile i actually felt like my entire body was about to ruptur#and i KNEW that doctor was implying 'you're so aware and insightful - unlike all those Real schizo freaks here!!!!'#ha ha doc! i'm crazy enough that i could easily tell passive lies & come across as fairly well adjusted (when i wasnt activly spiraling.) s#fucking despised him for that. well i would fight & die for the people who were there w/ me. but i would NEVER fucking save a psychiatrist.#police/psych industry overlap is hell for me to hear about. it makes me so fucking angry i want to scream and just rip all my hair out#the helplessness drives me fucking insane i will never ever trust authority because i know they dont care if i die.#i was the fucking. hysterical womanman with a death wish. of course they didnt fucking care if i died.#i was not fucking tortured like she was tho. what i experienced just pales in comparison to this news story. im not trying to#make it about me it just brings everything back. it reminds me how fucking lucky i am. HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ALIVE AND HAVE AUTONOMY#we're all fucking BLESSED to not be institutionalized rn
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months
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when freedom is in sight!!!!!!!!
#(aka it’s my last day of work!!!!!!!!! i can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!)#it’s like 2.30 in the am rn and i have to get up in less than 4 hours but. still!!!!!#im too happy to sleep lmao i feel like a kid on christmas eve again#this weirdass company culture says that we (the leavers) have to treat everyone to pizza or sth#isn’t it usually the other way round though? shouldn’t they be treating the leavers as a show of gratitude for their hard work?#but ​eh. the place is filled with cheapskates who only think about working us to the bone for the sake of their profits (i think)#so ✨s o r r y✨ dear managers no treats for you~~~~~ im giving ind*m*e (censored for copyright) to my immediate colleagues only~~~~~~#you can always feel free to treat me though~~~~~ :)))) my wallet is always open for donations dear managers o’ mine~~~#(this manager who expects me to treat everyone also outright refused when i asked her to treat me to beef wellington though :( sads :( )#(i worked sooooooooooo hard for you over the past couple o’ years and i dont even get free beef wellington~~~? :( )#but euuuugghhhhhhhhh since the team lead’s on leave today ig i’ll be the one in charge for the morning shift today too…#but it’s my last day~~~~ i wanna relaxxxxxxxxxx (<-same person who took a short nap on the clock earlier)#anyways!!!!!! i’ll finally have time for idol sengen after this aw yissssssssss wait for me asuna-chan im almost freeeeeeee#though. speaking of idol sengen… im still waffling about whether to have asuna drop swear words during the [spoiler] scene…#i mean. it’d make sense in terms of context/how abrasive she was being but. she’s an idol!!!!!!! choices man..#well. i guess that it’s retirement-me’s problem to think about lol. i need to get through just 1 day of work first!!!!!!#‘it’s starting to sound like you quit your job to tl idol sengen—’ n-noooooooo~~~? totally not i s w e a r!!!!
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sc3n3kitt3h · 11 months
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Request 4 @fallow-grove: a (found) family of sparklecats
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kohakhearts · 1 month
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insomnia is so cool i just queued 200 posts everyone say good job taylor and also happy 3am
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floral-hex · 1 month
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One of my brothers is moving away to college today + I have to skip therapy, so it’s a lot of… a lot. a lot.
#he was just a baby! he was just a little kid I carried around and took care of!#no nope. not gonna get into it right now. I WILL cry. it’s not even 6am and I do not need that right now#and I don’t really know if therapy today would really help#if I got into it I’d just start crying in front of this nice dude for an hour#though yeah… might be nice to.. I dunno… just talk about it.#I am always simultaneously ‘therapy is good’ and ‘what’s the point in talking about it?’#so maybe I do need that person that’s like ‘this is your time. just fucking talk.’#but also right now it’s like… talking about it won’t take me back to when my brother was little and far off from leaving#blegh…#whatever. anyway. it’s gonna be a sad day. I’m gonna cry A LOT. I’m gonna be alone in this apartment and just sooooobbbbbbing#and then keep this inside for another week before I can go to therapy and talk about this bc god forbid I talk to a family member about it#ok now it’s 6am. I think he’s leaving in about 4 hours. it’s cool. it’ll be cool. 😎 I’ll just miss my bro so dang much#but maybe I’ll walk down to the dollar store and stock up on snacks and I’ll get blasted and fatter and try to stay positive#uggghhh#I’m too emotional#time just keeps moving for us all. to my dismay.#’time is the fire in which we burn’#you can ignore this#I don’t think I’ll ever have kids. I’ll never have kids. and being there. with him. with my brothers. that was the closest I’ll ever get.#and it’s over… so… 🤷🏻‍♂️… it’s just done… they’re grown. and I’m still here. I don’t know what else to say…#but that’s life. they’re doing their thing. I’m happy for them and I want them to be happy too. I’m just a big crybaby#IAN!… stop typing!#just making myself sad at this point#it’s fine. it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m cool. everything’s… cool 😎#this isn’t important#text
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cowboysmp3 · 11 months
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i’m trying to read every unread book on my bookshelf before the end of the year and the problem is. a lot of the reasons i abandoned certain books is because they are . not good but lord im trying 🙏
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sugar-and-spite · 4 months
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made a lil house in minecraft
#it is modded (the fairy lights and furniture are not vanilla)#and i did follow a youtube tutorial though i edited some parts#but this isn't a cherry grove lmao this is a plains#i added the trees and petals and. pretty much everything that's not normal plains stuff#hid lighting under the moss carpets so it's bright and there's no spawns but i don't need to ruin the Vibe with torches#the lake nearby is only separated from the ocean by a small beach#so i'm gonna dig a canal to connect them and decorate and possibly release the axolotls i found into the lake#one of the mods lets you have candles on lilypads so i'm stoked for that#ALSO. by the bedroom. that's my mine entrance#i literally spent over an hour and over 4 stacks of cherry logs making it (and drowned twice)#it's stripped cherry and birch planks all the way down to -53#with powdered snow on one side and a soul sand water elevator on the other#i literally haven't even mined yet or even carved out an area to start mining#i just made the shafts. and it took over an hour and two deaths gjfhdhshs#also powdered snow + carpet is my new favorite way of breaking falls thanks youtube#you don't fall into the snow bc of the carpet but it still breaks your fall and you take no damage!#and since it's under carpet it looks cute too#you just have to be careful when using a powdered snow drop next to a water elevator 😔#bc water will wash away the snow... happened to me twice 😭#thankfully i got like 7 buckets of the stuff so i was fine#rey rambles#minecraft#anyway cherry wood was the best thing they've ever added to minecraft i am SUCH a pink bitch and this is perfect#modded pink woods never quite captured the Vibe the way vanilla cherry does
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sockeyesoren · 2 years
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Spiller redraw :] Original frame under the cut vvv
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This was the first time in ages where I actually had fun with drawing and liked the outcome, so that's nice :] It was a lot of fun to play around with the lighting
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zincbot · 7 months
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i finally did it... 100% achievements on Hyper Light Drifter!
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makesitprecious · 2 years
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It's always summer, under the sea
I know, I know, oh, oh, oh
The rain is dry, and the snow falls up
The stones crack open, the water burns
The shadows come to dance, my love
The shadows come to play
The shadows come to stay
hailing from Stonehelm, the daughter of 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍, Larissa travels across the continents through a varieties of roles : originally betrothed to 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐊 ( a young loves tragic tale ), noble blooded handmaiden to princesses & queens, avenger , sister & runaway. a contrast to her sister Johanna in Lys ( the black swan ), Larissa is coined the white swan in court and the title shadows her across borders.
while others of 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 made names in court or dying on the battlefield, Amias longed for more than a nobleman's life. after a failed career as a tourney knight, he took to the navy under house banners (and The Tully's) and became a sailor. At times his ship is called to fight and others it is merchanting in calm waters. Not keen on returning home since his father's interest in politicals, Amias lodges at The Stepstones during shore leave (before the wars). he balances on the edge of a knife between royal ships & pirates, but youth grants him a delusion of invulnerability despite of his mortal bones. at seventeen he is transferred to the Valeryn navy on well earned merit & skill. before the Trinity forms years later, Amias sees vast & beautiful places with Corlys as a mentor. younger brothers begin making names for themselves at court in the favors of princesses & kings. Amias does not heed his father's call to represent the house as another face in the capitol. he wants not for personal glory or riches. as Amias is pulled into deep battles against the now allied Trinity, he knows morality does not always lie with the crown & honor is not easily found within family.
pulled together across latitude & longitude lines, can two lovers survive the dances of dragons & merciless tides of war together ? will Larissa dare the odds to bring a doomed lover back to life ? friends & enemies contend with riches, power & myths as two noble houses pen their legacies with ink during a hurricane.
✒️ ɪᴛ's ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs s��ᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇᴀ ✒️
for the inspo!! ♡ we know we're set in h0td timeline just so I can make heart eyes at @samwilsonns and @kingsroad characters. but these two might appear in a more game of T setting because I love the worlds of @toilandtroubled of @stachedocs ♡ thank you ♡ to @zoyazenik, @prosemoireia, @fleetwoodmcs, @richitozier, @fragilestorm, @elmunson for your beautiful art, persistence in the face of photoshop crashes and stories that keep me reading past my scheduled bed time.
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britneyshakespeare · 10 months
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im just gonna tmi-medication share in the tags real quick
#tales from diana#i want to preface this with i've been prescribed adderall as-needed for adhd for a fullllll decade now#don't come at me with anti-adderall or anti-adhd-medication bullshit im not here for it!!#but my health problems have been so bad and ive been getting the worst sleep of my life lately no matter WHAT i do#i can do everything right#and btw i do not take adderall every day. which is implied by as-needed but i want to stress again I DONT NEED IT EVERY DAY#only when i do like. work. which ive been doing less and less bc of health problems!#but even though i havent been able to physically work so much i still have been taking half-doses a couple times a week just to like. read.#just to have a brain to do ANYTHING when everything is so awful and my brain is so foggy#ive always *sometimes* cut my doses in half if im not doing so much. just to save it y'know.#and ive always also *occasionally* gotten worse or even a really bad night's sleep after taking adderall#most commonly i'll wake up absurdly early the next morning and not be able to fall back asleep#rationing sleep is always something ive been in the habit of doing anyway as a person w adhd.#sleeping 4-6 hours during the week and 10-12 hours on weekends. just to make up for the deprivation y'know.#but even lately cutting my regular dose in half. it's still too much.#my current dose btw is already half of what it was in high school! i decreased my dose already years ago#but yesterday i finally got the nerve to take. a damn quarter of my own pill#and i took the smaller quarter of the half i cut in half.#i was def taking less than 5mg of my damn medication#and i actually didnt sleep like complete shit! and i was also worried#it might not be so effective.#but it actually worked quite well. i had enough focus to read for several hours#i had energy throughout the day too#i sometimes try to do caffeine on days i cant/dont wanna take adderall but caffeine just does not do the addy things so effectively. iykyk.#i cant believe i have to be so skimpy w my own life-sustaining mental health medications just bc my physical health is so bad#but whatever. whatever!#im gonna take another quarter-dose today and finish pericles prince of tyre. have a great day everyone
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catinfroghat · 1 year
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Waaaa my manager said I could tale a 30 hour or a 37.5 hour contract and she said she understands if I only want to do 4 days a week because she knows I need a work life balance and I started dreaming about only doing 4 days a week so I'd have a day all to myself (my weekends are usually filled with chores and visiting family and doing things with my mom) but it's not viable... Got to keep doing full time I guess
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kohakhearts · 10 months
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cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc
pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement
#taylor.txt#the extenuating circumstances point was not me btw. i know someone who had his degree delayed an entire year because of two weeks in psych#we’re in a co-op program or else maybe it wouldve just been one semester but. lol#i hate it here…i hate it#but hey…at least i have the world’s shittiest health insurance!#some of my classmates say they dont feel like working full-time is easier than going to school full-time but it so is#for me. anyway. even when i fumbled my time management bad on the field and make no mistake i was incredibly busy plus i chose a field#notorious for Unpaid Overtime and Taking Your Work Home. even then. it was still easier than this#i would never do undergrad again. i loved everything i learned. i took interesting and awesome classes#but i would never ever do it again. miserable overworked spent most of it friendless until i got on the field#i have a friend who keeps being like idk how you did 4 physics classes this sem and im like girl we are education students…thats an average#semester for a physics major. how must THEY feel#also i have to say just you know. generally. ive worked full-time while living with my parents#AND while living alone. and 50 hours a week was incredibly manageable in the former arrangement. i even wrote and edited an entire novel#in the beginning stages of a pandemic while working 50 hours a week of retail and fast food hell. 40 hours full-time with weekends off#while living alone though? thats hard. i still managed to go to the gym almost every day#currently? i cant get out of bed in the morning. i am putting in 12 hour days and then goinng to bed unable to sleep because im so stressed#i have dreams about school. tangentially theres a really good marxist poem i read last year about this phenomenon in workers#ANYWAY. i have just 8 more days 4 exams 1 research paper and video project#i think i can pass and then thats it. my next semester is hell but just because scheduling the actual classes will be easy#and then i get to go back on the field and actually want to wake up every day. lol#and 8 days from now i will have my christmas shopping done and my apartment will be clean and i will be a fanfic writing machine#also my friends and i booked a demolition room so im sure that will be beneficial kfldjfldndks
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