#well. i guess that it’s retirement-me’s problem to think about lol. i need to get through just 1 day of work first!!!!!!

[deus-ex-mona]

when freedom is in sight!!!!!!!!

[yuri-is-online]

An office shoujo think post

so you know that post from wttmcsms? The one about having a fake ring to chase off the men, a character who doesn't notice it, and flirts with reader trying to prove he'd be the better husband:

I came up with a slight idea for a dating sim based off of it by expanding the original concept just a tad... but I would appreciate some advice lol. It would be a super simple project with the classic neutral, bad (sort of), and good endings to help me practice the coding stuff.

The Setting: it's a simple office rom-com, nothing too deep or serious. The MC has recently decided to start wearing the ring due to some bad experiences at their previous job and is encouraged to do so by their best friend who promises to help keep up the ruse.

original concept/the flirt- same as the above described scenario with no real changes... he would be the "first route." Very shojo flirty love interest who wants to prove himself to the MC and teases them a whole lot. Pretty simple not too much drama?

the pathetic guy- Lennox... he's short and normally really self assured but for some reason he turns into a pathetic mess around the MC on his route. He's a bit of a loser when it comes to romance and constantly shooting himself in the foot to the point it is surprising how well put together he is outside of it. Similar in concept to the flirt's route except he's not a smooth operator.

the tsundere- megane ceo ikmen except she's a woman. She's the sister of your best friend and doesn't remember hearing about you getting married but what if it's true? And she's lost her chance? Because she keeps sticking her stupid foot in her mouth and making it sound like she hasn't been in love with you all this time and when she learns you aren't married that just makes it worse. Because if she flirts with you now then won't she just be like all the other people who made you uncomfortable?

My problem is I would want to add a fourth normal route but I can't settle on a good trope to model it after... the reason being I have a yandere route planned and i know that's not everyone's cup of tea lol. But tropes are difficult, so here are the potential ones I was kicking around:

let's sexualize that old man- idk middle aged salaryman who works at the company tm. The problem is I wanted to also make him a little more pathetic which is Lennox's trope. I guess we don't have a kuudere, which sort of works well for the middle aged man trope.

rivalmance- the MC is a secretary and the business they work for makes some sort of product... so I guess there could be another secretary? Maybe for the cfo of the company. I'm thinking of a rich, bratty ojou-sama. A Regina George type... except less pink and more black??? I'll be honest I am not as fond of this one might need to take it back to the drawing board.

senpai- a pretty obvious trope for this sort of set up... a mentor at the company, maybe the retiring or senior secretary who is very soft and big brotherly who is really gentle in how he expresses his concern over how little your husband seems to care for you, but not because he wishes he was him. If he says that enough maybe he'll believe it?

kohai- MC is new to the company so maybe a little bit of a timeskip where there is a new secretary who really wants to prove himself. Super big golden retriever energy with a person who desperately wants to be taken seriously but is a bit clumsy so you don't at first. He insists he loves you but everyone in the office brushes his feelings off as a crush and it's super annoying!!!! But he's got really chubby cheeks so his pouting is just too cute to listen to what he's saying.

or something idk. I want to work on the demon thirst trap idea but... I really need to practice the code to do that well so I need to do something much much simpler first and office shojo is pretty simple I suppose.

[ragsy]

Hey congrats do the whole list for Kenny

🔫🔫🔫

Oh, pvp enabled, OKAY LET'S GOOOOO

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

not really sure, actually! i've only drawn him a handful of times and only one of those times was colored in, so i haven't quite figured out his color palette yet. desaturated purple comes to mind when i think on it, though

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

His music taste is what i can only describe as "my real life father's mp3 player on shuffle" which is. Not anything that anyone on here has any frame of reference for!! But that would include, but isn't limited to: Cat Stevens, Manu Chao, Sheryl Crow, Third Eye Blind, Fatboy Slim, Fleetwood Mac, Traffic, Green Day, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Shpongle.

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

Uuhhhh technically his character sheet lists his weapon as his walking stick, (it only does 1 damage) (he never uses it as a weapon, he has never once in his history on a monster hunting team hit anything with his walking stick)

The rest under here 👇

how crafty/resourceful are they?

Middlingly average, for the most part. He's much better at navigating problems than actually solving them; he'll look towards his team members if something needs fixed.

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

Sweaters, slacks, polo shirts, sneakers. Retired guy in american suburbia swag.

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

he keeps it somewhat short, but he doesn't really care how it looks anymore. he's grateful to still have most of it, so he just kinda lets it do what it wants. he also used to have a well-maintained goatee before his time in the Other Place, but since returning to the real world, he's only done the bare minimum of keeping his facial hair mostly trim.

favorite animal? why?

not a huge animal guy, honestly! he finds the presence of birds to be extremely reassuring, though. 

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

i guess kenny is technically a nickname (he always introduces himself as kenneth, and everyone else always decides "oh this man is a kenny actually"), but he's much more of a giver of nicknames than anything else

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

always a big fan of fresh baked goods, especially blueberry muffins. he has some challenges with eating these days-- after having spent five years in the Other Place not needing to eat or sleep, stuff tastes weird to him now. He's got a mental list of safe foods, but he tries not to be a bother when other people are cooking, so he'll try his best with what's available to him.

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

gold wedding band :( (deadwife trope)

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

i gave him my fear of being forgotten and love for terrible dad jokes, what else could he need?

we're actually more different than alike, i think. he's just lived an extremely different life than me; he's a 65 year old heterosexual retired dentist who has been married and has a daughter who is my age. i am literally none of those things. but i think we would get along really well; he's based heavily on some of my own extended family who i already like fairly well, lol

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

i've had him as a character since... roughly 2020? but he was extremely different in that iteration (a haunting-the-narrative NPC in the motw campaign i ran and have since completed). his current iteration came about earlier this year when i rewrote him from the ground up to be a motw player character. also his birthday is march 17th, 1959 and birthdays are... complicated. if someone tried to throw him a party he would be GRATEFUL, and he would offer to celebrate someone else's birthday with them, but he doesn't know how to think of his own birthday anymore. he spent ages being extremely unmoored from the passage of time, you know? makes it hard

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

fluent in english (his first language), more than a little bit of mandarin (from his grandparents) and spanish (he had some patients who only spoke spanish; he always made an effort to be able to directly communicate with them whenever possible). the latter two are largely forgotten from disuse, though

are they any good with numbers?

he's actually pretty good with numbers, but it doesn't come up very often anymore. he's itching for the day that someone comes to him for help with their taxes

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

very, very small. he was his parents' only child, he had a language barrier between him and one set of grandparents, and he never knew the other set. his late wife had a big family, who he has since fallen out of contact with (with the exception of his beloved nephew charlie). he has one daughter, who he is trying to reconnect with. he currently lives alone.

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

no pets, and he would never ever ever consider franklin the potted plant to be a pet. that's his TRAUMA BONDED BEST FRIEND

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

wildly unsafe summer camps of the 1960s/1970s. here you go child, have some lead paint to play with

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

top three things to make kenny disappointed in you

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

very, very slow to anger. will ALWAYS give someone the benefit of the doubt, but if they really are in the wrong, he will bottle it up for as long as possible. when he finally breaks, it's hysterical and venomous. he generally hates being angry more than he hates the things that *make* him angry

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

he's got a royal blue toyota prius :]

it's pretty tidy inside, for the most part. gotta make sure there's space for passengers inside, it's not a large vehicle to begin with!!

their favorite place to be?

alice's house, with everyone else there with him

do they sleep well at night?

HA, no, lmao

5 years not needing to sleep will fuck up your sleep schedule once you finally have to again. he wakes up at odd hours, falls asleep at even odder ones, and has crazy weird dreams (which he then has to write down in his dream journal before he can go back to sleep again)

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

quick and flighty, like he has to get his words out as fast as he can before something stops him. he stammers a lot. he's not a great singer by any means, but he's not immune to singing along to a favorite tune in the car or in the kitchen.

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

he tried out a lot of different hobbies while trying to adjust once his daughter moved out, but none of them stuck. he tries to augment his dream journal with drawings whenever possible, so i guess that counts? 

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

hearing is actually pretty good for his age; eyesight isn't great though. he's been a glasses wearer since the second grade, and it's only gotten worse as he's aged

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

he's not quick by any means, but he can get around just fine. he has a chronically bad knee from a car crash earlier in his life that was exacerbated by an injury during an encounter with the lighthouse keeper. he walks with a cane on days when he needs extra support.

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

he understands the appeal of sports, but was never very athletic and never really got into watching them. he'll still tune into the olympics though, just to see what crazy things they're doing with spheres and gravity in athletics these days

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

He cares a lot about most people he meets, so it is generally easier to tell when he *doesn't* like someone; his warm, inviting manner turns curt and closed. 

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

Air, probably? I've no grounds for this, it just feels right

do they smell like anything notable?

Uuuuuuuuuh i dunno, come give uncle kenny a whiff and tell me what you think

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

He LOVES giving and receiving gifts, he eats that shit up, but if he's the only one receiving and not giving anyone anything he starts to feel really guilty about it. His ideal gift is something small yet thoughtful. He's going to be thinking about the magic walking cane that Charlie gave him forEVER

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

He carries around a potted plant like his life depends on it, he's removed the doors from every room and cabinet in his apartment, and he hesitates before passing though any sort of entryway

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

Mark's the only other one who has met him, and he would describe him as "uh. Nice, i guess? He talks too much, and he's kinda weird like he's on a different planet than everyone else, but he seems... harmless."

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

"Who, me? Ah, I'm just some kook who got lost once, haha!"

do they ever return home?

He's tried. That house isn't really home anymore; home feels more like the people he's with nowadays.

[englass]

You know what I want (that I don’t think has been done but please correct me if it has)–

Genshin Impact, but School– like a Twisted Wonderland AU sort of school thing.

Now, I’ve not played TW (*cries in EU*) but from what I know I don’t think it would actually affect potential story stuff too much; it’d be a relatively clean merger. I’m literally more just thinking in terms of: the elements or countries are different houses, the Archons are their respective Head of House and MC/Reader has been Isekai’d here via wishing means despite lacking a vision (means of enrolment?).

Now just some random brainstorming thoughts because the idea consumed me–:

As a general thing, either GI is already a TW sort of game in MC’s world or it’s not changed from how it already is and this is just an alternate world to the one MC and we know and remember. Maybe they play both games and this world is a weird merger of the two (not that MC is imagining this or has any influence over it; it’s just a weird coincidence, but that would probably muddy the waters so likely not)?

Because of Zhongli being a hidden/retired Archon I could see the dorm being more so run democratically, maybe having Ningguang being voted/recommended for the position by her fellow classmates while Zhongli chills out (read: slacks off) in the local gardens (boi still probably gets straight A’s in everything except Business & Personal Finance/Economics).

In regards to the Fatui and how they’d fit into this… I think it’d depend on how the Houses are set up. If the Houses were represented via Country then they could just be fellow students, but aged down where appropriate. If the Houses were represented via Element then I’d be tempted to make them teachers, or students from a rival school. The problem with the Element option is the Tsaritsa; I wouldn’t know how to keep their connection with her while keeping her as the Head of House. Something to think about maybe.

Aether and Lumine could be transfer students? Or just not in the story at all? Or maybe from a different school? Up for debate; depends on how much you’d want them there I guess so it’d be up to the writer. Paimon could literally just take Grim’s spot regardless lol, but again that’d be up to the writer.

Acts/Chapters wouldn’t change much, both games are similar in that each Chapter and Act is set in or revolves around a different Country/House (to my limited understanding of TW at least). So A/C1 (not constellations) is to do with Mondstadt, A/C2 is Liyue and so on and so forth. How you’d transfer the actual story to this world’s format though is… ehhhhhhhh—

- For Mondstadt, the idea of Dvalin being a little chibi version of himself is too adorable to pass up and so maybe the stuff with him still happens, being corrupted and saving him before he goes on a massive rampage (either the stuff with the Abyss/Khaenri’ah isn’t a thing here, or it’s one of two options: 1. Rival school that dabbles in the “darkness” element or 2. Is the old school that the current school was built on top of (what the story would be here though I don’t know; I’d need to brush up/know more about the lore)) and by the end he continues to be a sort of cute familiar to Venti that occasionally makes an appearance. Should note that he’s still normal sized/a big boi when corrupted, but after MC frees him he takes on a smaller and more approachable form (please don’t ask me how that works in this world, I don’t know—)

- Liyue would be… not too different from the original? Actually, maybe this is how Ningguang becomes the new Head of House? The whole of Act 2 was orchestrated by Zhongli wanting to see if Liyue could continue without him in canon, so maybe this is the same? Maybe the identity of this Head of House is a secret that only other HoH know about (as well as Childe; he and Zhongli are maybe surprisingly good friends and so the latter gets Childe to help him “step down”). So they do something really stupid and summon Osial— which could be an obnoxious rival of Zhongli’s from another school that’s come to ruin the House’s reputation or something, or is straight up some sea monster they’ve summoned to up that stakes. I kinda like the first idea, especially if you did a twist of him owing Zhongli for whatever reason so he’s only here to help in order to remove Zhongli from his long-standing position (I’m thinking just keep the fact that Zhongli is actually a dragon a thing and that he’s only still here because he can be, likely because of ageing differences or because despite him being a great student he deliberately flunks the important exams to get held back; fully up for debate though)

- For Inazuma… I don’t know dude, it’s just a dictatorship? Maybe something happened with Makoto and she either left or sadly passed and Ei has no idea how to run her House so just straight up takes full control of it in a negative way? And MC shows her the power of friendship or something— I don’t know, I really don’t know. All I do know is that Yae Miko would be a menace; personal space? What’s that, she’s never heard of it. Girl be overtly flirting with MC every step of the way regardless of gender; fingertips trailing across their shoulders as she circles behind them, tipping their head back with a gentle pressure against their skin, leaning way too close to their ears and space as she talks to them… yeah, other students would not be too happy about that (tbh Yae got me bad lol; not my favourite character, but she’s fun and I’d definitely give her the waifu title– anyway!)

Is it too late to mention this is intended to be a “romance game”?

And considering my love of yandere’s— fuck it, throw a load of them in here too if you want; take your pick.

- Sumeru— I don’t know, going through these is kinda exhausting. All I will say is that this is the tech House and that Dottore has to be involved with whatever happens here. Maybe it’s still an experiment he’s running and has roped the kids into (if he’s a teacher, though I doubt it’d be much different if it was a student either) or something else, but he has to be there. My bias for him is really showing lol, but he has to be; he needs to be the villain of this Act/Chapter. Plus it’d be kinda funny to see him the next time MC went to class and have them freak out as to why he’s still here when he should probably be in jail (man totally either has some sort of dirt on the headmaster (Heavenly Principles?) to keep him in the school or he’s kept as a teacher to better monitor him and his movements).

Naturally we can’t talk about Fontaine at the moment, so I won’t go into it (—except for the fact that I am weak for Neuvillette; what is it with tall, sophisticated dragon (alleged/theorised) men that completely knock me off my feet 😭 urg, I want him and Zhongli to passively-aggressively battle for the right to court me, is that too much for a girl to ask??)

Anyway, I don’t think there’s anything else I want to add right now. Just throwing thoughts out into the aether, so to speak--

[olderjodijournals]

Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama bin Ladin is dead – yay! Now we just have to hope no other sick fuck takes his place.

While I’m thrilled he was caught and killed, I’m pissed that I can’t enter sweeps now. I’m getting this database error that I’ve gotten before and that I’ve heard others complain about, too.

Guess it’s just more time for storywriting. Gotta work on my dialog, though, as Tom says, and quit making all the characters sound the same when they talk.

I got nosy yesterday and went looking through some of Nane’s friend’s photos that were public to see if they had any pictures of her that may not be in her albums. Well, her bother had one at his birthday party that was just like – wow! I don’t care for the reddish hair color she had (I’m pretty sure she’s a natural brunette), but wow! Too bad her eyes were closed. She was smiling in a sort of goofy way and showing a bit too much gum and what appeared to be false teeth, but still a beautiful smile just the same. Andy agreed she’s not a major hottie but she is attractive. He said her legs look sexy in these jeans she’s wearing in another picture I sent him of her and that she has a great slender shape. She sure is one hot 50-year-old old! I can just imagine all the guys she must’ve had chasing her in her 20s if they’re still chasing her now. Even Alison agreed she’s beautiful and it’s no wonder I have a crush on her. Wish I had her oval face instead of this big round one. Her only other flaw, though it’s hard to tell for sure, is that her eyes seem kind of small. I’d love to see better shots of her face taken straight on and with her eyes open. Her eyebrows also almost look drawn on because she keeps them so perfectly plucked, but I still love it all. :)

She may’ve truly had her boyfriend stay with her all weekend (he doesn’t live in Munich so that’s why they only see each other on weekends), but I suspect she still may’ve been on Facebook. I thought it was just random, but as Mitch told me, it’s a bit glitchy at times but the order in which our friend’s pictures appear on our walls has to do with who logged in last. So far today (it’s already 1pm there) she doesn’t appear to have logged in. She’s a night owl, so hopefully she will before bed.

One of the biggest lessons she’s taught me is that you really can come to care for people you’ve never ever met.

LOL, Andy and I were right about her teeth being false. I just went back and read the note she left under the picture which was taken in January of 2010 and she wrote: Wo ist mein Kukident?

I knew the first 3 words were “where is my” but didn’t know what Kukident was till I looked it up and saw it meant denture adhesive. She’s still my hottie. :)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

AT&T will be coming out today to fix our sluggishly shitty internet connection. Tom called and they found a problem in the line. They said no one needs to be home, so I guess they won’t be coming all the way down here. I just wish we could have reliable service out here for more than 5 minutes! Overall it’s been terrible here, but that’s just life in the boonies.

Life in a retirement community may be more possible than I realized someday. Until now I always thought you either had to buy a house there or could only rent an apartment but not rent a house. Well, I won’t buy anything I can’t own outright and I won’t live with others just a wall away either. Tom researched it, though, and found that you can rent houses there, too. I still won’t hold my breath on any pension fund or other large sum of money in our future, and I still think we’ll always rent little dumps in the mainstream, but it’s still nice to learn that they’re not so all or nothing there after all. They’ve even got nicer, newer, bigger places with 2-3 bedrooms for less than this microscopic trailer rents for. Retirement communities aren’t just everywhere and anywhere we can’t just move to one if he doesn’t work near one. But that’s only if he ever gets to work again in the first place.

I’m missing the hell out of Nane and hating the frustration it brings me. I know it may sound funny, but I almost wish she’d pull a Marie number on me and start pestering the shit out of me so I could hurry up and get sick of her.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Out they came yesterday (and today to do something to the wires so that the rain can no longer affect our connection) and now we’re finally up to full speed.

Yesterday I clicked on a link that was sent to me, found it was just spam and ignored it. Until I started getting replies to my “post” and I’m like, wait a minute! What post? I didn’t post on anyone’s walls.

That’s when I realized that the link contained a virus that was automatically posted to all my friend’s walls. So starting with the most important people, I warned them about it and did my best to get it off their walls. I then ran and changed my PW in case my account had been hijacked. Fortunately, no real damage was done.

I was especially concerned about Nane whose torturous 4 days without contacting me ended with a message she left as I was crashing yesterday. She still claims that if it isn’t Jim causing her to neglect everything and anything lately, it’s her job or family. Well, I’ve always known I was hotter for her than she is for me, but sometimes I wonder – and worry – that maybe I’ve said too much. She seems the type that would say so if I annoyed her, but just in case she’s getting sick of me I’m trying to tone it down as hard as it is.

Andy’s back to pissing me off again with his calling or implying that I’m lying about things, making me feel like he’s defending my perps, and being paranoid that I’ll dump him. Ok, so I can understand the paranoia, but I’m really sick of the other shit. I’m sick of him saying a certain thing couldn’t have happened the way I said it did when he wasn’t there and he couldn’t possibly know why/how it happened. I’m not going to dump him. I’m just sick of going through this shit every few months.

Then he got all bent out of shape when I dared to disagree when he said people who said they were bi only said so because they were afraid to admit they were gay. Well, I’m sorry but I know it’s really possible to be attracted to both sexes, even if we’re usually attracted to one way more than the other, and I wouldn’t be the least bit ashamed to say so if I was 100% gay instead of just 99%. Sometimes I wonder if he’s trying to get me to dump him.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. Other than wanting to take a bat to the dog’s head during the morning hours, I spoke to my folks, and then learned I won a $75 GC for flowers! Too bad it’s too late for Mother’s Day, but I can still surprise Mom with something and even get some treats for myself.

Finally heard from Maliheh. She’s still being affected by the tornado and said the shit just keeps coming, but that she’ll talk more over the next couple of days. She hopes things are better for me too, but as I told her, stable is more like it. Our heads are above water, but only a job will make it better. Got a few months yet.

Nane sure helps make it better. :) Yeah, I really think I have more than just a crush on her, and I told her so. She didn’t seem bothered by it, so that’s cool. I told her I’d have sent her some flowers if she lived here and she said it’s the thought that counts. So since blue and orange are her favorite colors, I told her I was “thinking” orange tulips in a blue vase her way.

We got to talking about my ear and she said that her mother has worked in various institutions for people with all kinds of handicaps, so she thanks God she’s healthy (even though she doesn’t believe in Him), and says she could never have bad feelings towards those with handicaps.

She really is a reminder that not all beauties are snobs. Oh, Nane, why’d you have to be so far away?

I can see where she gets her looks. I saw a picture of her mother, Ingrid, who also seems tall and slender and she looks about 50 years old. She has long red hair, which I’m sure is dyed since she’s got to be around 70.

So she’s got a mother and two brothers, Mike and Tobias, listed on Facebook. Wonder where Daddy is?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Well, the cock up the hill is working again. The barking that’s been going on every goddamn morning this week has indicated that much. Last we knew he was trying to get on disability. He probably couldn’t prove he was disabled, and it sure seems obvious to me he’s not at all disabled based on all the work he does around here, so when he realized he couldn’t cut it on his own he went back to work. At least some of us can just run out and get a job when we need one even if it’s only part-time. So now I’ll have to listen to the fucking barking any weekday morning and weekend night that I’m up and about.

Tom said he saw his kid driving his car with him in it on the way out one day. That’s something he would do. If he would drive drunk, why not let a 13-year-old drive, too?

Again there’s not much to say other than being stuck in a rut and dealing with this never-ending cycle of bullshit that just goes on and on and on. If there really is a God up there He can’t possibly like us. Sometimes I’m tempted to just drop everything, take the rat and run to some other state – probably one with a miserable climate since those aren’t as bad off – and see if we can shake this curse. But we can’t live in the car without money, so knowing that our lives are going to suck no matter where we live, we may as well stay put. And I’ll continue to worry about money while not getting enough time alone and while being frustrated that Germany is so damn far away. Speaking of someone over there which I’ve come to like a little too much for my own good, I haven’t heard from Nane since Wednesday, and I have a feeling I’m not going to till next week either. :( Thinking of her and Teddy Bear; it’s really kind of sad that God waited until after I got married to allow me to lust for someone that actually lusts for me in return, knowing I could never have them anyway.

Later…

Ok, I know this is going to sound childish, so don’t say I didn’t warn you up front, but next time I hear from Maliheh or Nane I think I’m going to make them wait on me for a change, instead of replying to them right away. I just get sick of waiting on certain people who always tell me we’ll “talk soon.”

Sometimes it takes us a while to see who really cares about us, and other than Tom of course, I can clearly see that the one that does is in my own country. Only not quite all the way on the other side of it. That’s ok, though, she’s a hottie too, even if I’m more used to the taller, darker ladies. I wonder if we’ll ever meet someday. I hope so. Sure seems a hell of a lot more likely than meeting someone on the other side of the planet.

Not much else is going on, but is there really ever much going on lately? I’m just working online as well as doing a little writing and proofreading here and there. I’ve been neglecting my language studies and really need to get back on track with that.

Is it just my imagination, or is Nane’s life really as ideal as it seems? Meaning that she seems pretty happy with the way things are in general. She may be busier than she’d like, but she seems to be with someone she likes, has no money problems, loves to travel and can afford to do so, has a good family, and doesn’t seem to be punished for what blessings she has in life. I admire, even envy, her independence in many ways. Yes, I was once independent myself, but I wasn’t. I didn’t work for those disability checks I used to get once upon a long, long time ago. Nor did I exactly live well either in the slums of the city. I had shit for love, shit for money, and shit for a life. At least these days I have a lot more going for me than I did 20 years ago as sucky as things are. Still, I can’t help but imagine my life being different in many ways. I don’t want to give up what I’ve got (except for the money issues), but I still wish I had what I don’t have at times. I wish I could be intimate with those I’m attracted to, visit friends both cyber and not, and be able to keep a damn schedule. A part of me even wishes I could live in a different country every year of my life for variety, yet I also want to go to a place that’s summery year-round and stay there forever. I want what I don’t have and I don’t want to give up what I do have. Is this normal? Then again who gives a shit, right? It is what it is, normal or not, and it sure seems normal for me.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sometime last night our modem broke so I’m going to have to wait and copy this from Word into my blog once we get a new modem. Tom had already crashed when I got up and he left a note saying he hoped to have us back online today, but if not we would have to wait till Monday. Knowing how unlucky we are, I’m not counting on getting back online till Monday. It’s a good thing I’m not expecting anything from Nane over the weekend, assuming she’ll be spending every second of it with her boyfriend. Watch, though, with my shit luck she’ll contact me for some reason. Oh well. I did say I was going to make her wait on me for once, didn’t I? So she’ll just have to wait for a reply if there are any messages from her waiting for me.

What I wonder is how bad this is going to hurt us, and if we really will be back online by Monday. I doubt it. I guess I’m really going to get my way with making Nane wait on me after all, even though I didn’t expect to hear from her till Tuesday. Either way, the more I think about it the more I’m afraid this isn’t going to be a simple fix and that it could be the start of something really bad. You know, sort of like what happened in 2007.

I just up and asked Tom and he said the worst-case scenario is it takes 3-4 days for them to send us a new modem which may explain why I haven’t had any nightmares.

Best case scenario, which rarely happens to us, he goes down to the AT&T store and gets a new modem that they let us bill to our next bill.

For now, I think it’s safe to say I’ll be doing an awful lot of writing this weekend.

But maybe not. Tom just came in and said he spoke to them and they said to go to their store, pick up a new modem (assuming ours is in stock) and we can have it billed. This is nice and all that, but still, it’s an extra $100 we don’t need to be spending any time too soon.

Boyfriend or not, it will be interesting to see if Nane at least logs onto Facebook over the weekend if we really get back on soon enough. As I’ve learned, if a certain friend’s picture appears on the sidebar, they’ve at least logged in recently enough, especially if their picture keeps reappearing. Tammy’s picture hadn’t shown up for days which doesn’t surprise me since she’s usually on more on the weekend, and Nane wasn’t online at all yesterday from what I could tell.

Later…

OMG, it only turned out to be a $10 power supply failure! Since when is anything up there so damn nice to us??? I wish all our problems could be so short and sweet, though we still don’t need even a 10-dollar problem.

I am in what’s probably one of the best moods I’ve been in in a long time and it’s not because he got a job or because I won anything big. Let’s just say that up until a few hours ago I was convinced I had nothing left to look forward to in life. Then Tom and I dared to toss some very bold ideas around, and our adventurous side that’s been itching to resurface once again began to emerge. A seed was planted. One I am determined to somehow cultivate with or without the pension or any big wins! It’s just who we are – drifters, adventures – who haven’t stayed in the same place for more than a few years during our adulthood and probably never will.

Visions of coconut palms dance through my head!

If we can get the 20K we’re at least slightly hopeful for, we may buy a used toy trailer, dump most of our shit which I’m sick of anyway, and bust on out of this damn state. Then I can move to a whole new state I can hate just as much but maybe for a different reason – hee, hee – while experiencing a whole new place. Tom and I were cracking up over this, but it’s so true that I can find fault in just about ANY city, any state, any country, any PLANET!

The thought that there may be a way out, after all, has me grinning ear to ear and feeling more alive and hopeful than I have in a while, even if this isn’t something that’s going to happen next week or next month. But next year? I hope so!

We’d be cramped as hell and it may not be much fun, but we could live in the trailer till we got into a place somewhere, preferably a senior community, even if it’s just as renters.

My head says to stay put. It’s safer and maybe even smarter, too. My heart says fuck that shit and hello beaches, palm trees and year-round summery weather – woo-hoo!!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

While we realize that anything could happen over the next 416 days, 1 of 3 things I can think of in particular is the most likely to occur. 1. We could remain forever broke and stuck in Cali. 2. He could land a decent job that we wouldn’t want to throw away that easily and that he can actually have for more than 5 minutes and so we could stay here till he retires. 3. We could get a lot more than we expect from the pension people and get the fuck out.

And I would too, even if it meant giving up all my collectibles. As long as I could take my clothes, computer and stereo, I’d be ok. Just my personal stuff and my electronics are all I’d need. The non-necessities and knickknacks could stay behind. Getting rid of most of our stuff would be a good excuse to get new stuff later on, and I like things that are new, though I wouldn’t want or need to replace everything.

LOL, it all started when I said to Tom, “Sometimes I get so fed up with being stuck in a rut here that I’m almost tempted to just drop everything and get the fuck out.” That’s when he got to thinking about various ideas and possibilities and so did I. The daredevil in me will be dumb enough to take chances on Florida if we ever can and do get there, even though every time I’ve visited there she gets sick or hit with allergies or both.

As Tom said, sometimes the only way to know if you’re going to like a place and if your life will be better there is to move there and find out. He thought the cold and snow in Oregon would be a lot harder on him than it actually was. And I thought it would be warmer here and that there’d be more opportunities for us. I don’t think either of us thought we’d be broke, jobless and uninsured nearly 4 whole years after coming here.

I also said to him that you would think by now after all the disastrous long-distance moves we’ve made that we’d know better, stay put and not take risks, but as he said, “That’s just the way we are.”

Tom was out organizing the shed yesterday and vacuuming the dust out of some electronics and hopefully annoying the shit outa Jesse while he was at it, LOL. If I couldn’t hear anything in here, though, I doubt he did unless he was outside.

Again, it could be glitchy, but Nane has at least appeared to be on Facebook throughout most of the weekend and she’s completely ignored me. So fuck it, just fuck it. And fuck her.

I’ve been messing with Larry again, LOL, between joking and insulting him. This time he actually replied with a “what” less than a minute after I messaged him. I’m not stupid, though. I know he’s reading my messages. Wouldn’t he have blocked me if he didn’t want to hear from me or was at least curious as to what I had to say? He may not want to be buddies anymore than I do, but I think he agrees it’s nice to hear from each other at least once in a while, and that he likes my jokes. He probably even misses me laughing at him when he’s freezing his ass off.

The girl-woman is gone from his friend list, interestingly enough, and so is his mobile phone number.

Been getting dizzy spells. Or maybe lightheadedness is more like it. I wonder why, though.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Finally got around to dying two of my ballerina doll’s dingy old dresses. Patrice looks good in violet and Colette looks great in pink. We even dyed our shower curtain, LOL. Yeah, getting a white one was a big mistake because it stains too easily, so we dyed it purple. Only it came out as light lavender and has some dark spots on it. It’s still a nice color, though.

I’m a little disappointed in Andy now. He said he’d buy my book after his computer was fixed. He didn’t. Then he said he’d explain in an email why he hasn’t bought it. He didn’t. Again I have to wonder why people say they’re going to do things they don’t want to do. If you don’t want to buy my book, don’t say you will. If you don’t want to be my friend, don’t tell me we’ll “talk soon.”

There are 4 baby birds in the nest now. It’s so cute seeing them stick their fuzzy little heads up with their mouths open when they’re hungry.

Just heard from Nane a few minutes ago!:) Her mom’s on vacation, so that may be why she hasn’t accepted the friend invite. She said she’s been working till 7-8 at night, has to water her mother’s plants while she’s on vacation, and has been busy making last-minute plans for her own vacation – booking airfare, hotels, etc. She’s also buying a new bikini (I told her I wanted to see her in it) and other things for the trip. I guess “Jim’s” mother is from Turkey and so they’re stopping at her place. So why the hotels I don’t know. She’s also helping a friend find an apartment that’s separating from her hubby of 27 years. Wow, 27 years is a long time to decide someone’s not right for you! Does anyone have a house in Germany, though? It seems everyone has an apartment there.

Do I think she’s really this busy? Yeah, probably. But I also think she could make more time for me if she really wanted to. Until she wears off of me, though, I enjoy the few scattered messages, pokes and other things I get from her.

Today she posted her score on Mah Jong on my wall and poked me. I’m good at Mah Jong, but when I went to beat her score it wouldn’t let me go over 37,000 even though it kept saying I was getting more points.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I used to tell myself that someday I would once again live in a real house with adequate space and normal, modern features. But then I stopped believing. Either way, I can’t stop thinking of Florida and wishing we could live there! I wish I could get any thoughts of it out of my mind, but once I saw it’s to rain and drop to 55º this Saturday, it’s kind of easier said than done. It’s safer and easier to stay put no matter what the economy. Besides, we have a lifelong financial curse on us, so it doesn’t matter where we are. If we’re destined to be poor, we’ll be poor no matter where we are. I still wish I could get Florida off my mind, though, and I know that if we do get any pension money we should use it to live on, not throw away on toy trailers and moving.

Tom has been reorganizing the shed and making a little makeshift office in there using one of his old computers. This way he can be outside and give me more space while he works on other projects he’s always enjoyed doing without making a mess inside the place.

I’m hoping to hear from Nane today, but as busy as she is I don’t expect to. You just can’t make someone make more time for you, busy or not.

Been getting up at 5am for days now. I could get used to this. But I know that as always it’s just a matter of time before my schedule pushes forward.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Once it warms up another 5º in here so I can take my robe off, I’ll get to work changing and washing out the rat’s cage, and then cleaning the bathroom as well. It’s been how it usually is living here in a trailer in May – nice in the afternoons, cold in the early mornings.

Tom’s picking up the mail now. He’s hopeful that the flower GC will be there, but if sweeping is still what it used to be at least in some ways, then it won’t be that quick and easy. I’m sure I’ll have to work at it a bit as far as getting them to send my prizes to me.

Tom’s back now. I was right. No GC. But the wins are getting bigger! I won a Compound Miter Saw with Laser Trac and other fancy features valued at $225!!! The sucky thing is that we’ve got to pay $30 in notarization fees since they sent 3 separate forms that needed to be notarized – an eligibility affidavit, a release of liability, and permission to publish our names on their site. Why couldn’t they do this all on one sheet of paper? Either way, the profits should be worth it after we sell it on Craigslist and I’m now over $300 in wins since I started back up with the sweeping. My 3-months subscription expires on his birthday – June 28th – and I’d say that yeah, it’ll be worth renewing the subscription. Assuming we’re still as broke then as we are now, we may not renew for a year at $30, but do another 3 months at $12.50 instead.

Tom has a job interview tomorrow at 3:00, but I know better than to get my hopes up. Today still turned out to be a pretty good day. :)

I just wish I heard from Nane more often! But I think it’s safe to say that if I’ve never heard much from her as of yet, I never will. This is someone with obviously no plans of slowing down anytime soon, not that I think having more time on her hands would make her want to contact me more often anyway. :(

Even though it’s not until tomorrow, I sent a message wishing Maliheh a happy 54th birthday. This was because I might not get the message to her till the afternoon her time and wouldn’t want her to think I forgot about her.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Maliheh’s 54 today. Just when I was sure I would “punish” her by making her wait on a reply from me, I got the sweetest message from her. She thanked me for thinking of her and said she had to work and that part of being older meant no fun and no parties. “This old broad thanks you,” she said, also letting me know that she misses our late-night chats and hopes to catch up on those again soon after having to deal with one shitty thing after another happening to her. She also said she’d have to look in on my journal and see what I’ve been writing about, but I haven’t seen her on my tracker.

Then last night I had a nightmare about her. I have yet to hear about anyone having bad things happen to them following a nightmare I may have about them, but since bad things seem to happen to me after I have a nightmare involving myself or Tom, it’s got me a little worried.

In the nightmare, I guess I was expecting her. I don’t know where I was but I sat somewhere when I spotted a woman I thought might be her. Then she turned to me, recognized me, and we both went over to each other and hugged. Only it wasn’t a happy glad-to-see-you kind of hug. Something was wrong. She was very tense like something bad had happened. Next thing I know we’re on a boat. I guess we were sitting by the front of it because she fell overboard and was run over by it.

Another book sale. :) I’m pretty sure it’s Andy, though, who bought a copy. Still, that’s 4 sales and it’s better than nothing even if it’s not as much as I’d like and 3 of them were friends.

Tom’s going to be leaving for that job interview in an hour. Again, it’s hard to get excited when you know he’s probably not going to get it, qualified or not. I just can’t believe whatever’s up there would let him have a good-paying job in town here not even two months after being laid off. It just seems it would want us to struggle longer than that, but we’ll see.

Later…

There were two other applicants being interviewed for the job and Tom was the last one. They told him they’d try to get in touch with the temp agency that evening and that whoever they chose would start Monday.

And no one’s called. In other words, they chose the youngest one. Age is everything these days. Fuck qualifications. And so a job – and definitely insurance – continues to remain hopelessly out of reach.

If I ever wanted to feel loved by God and like He really listens to me, all I have to do is pray for what I don’t want in life and it’d be an automatic done deal.

But there’s something else that is at least somewhat good. It wasn’t Andy who bought the book. So while I’m pissed that he didn’t buy it like he said he would, it’s encouraging to have strangers buying my book. I was worried that after whatever friends of mine dove in, that would be it. Andy said he’d buy it, but right now his dilemma is not having the spare time to read it. I told him not to worry and that it would always be around. Meanwhile, I gotta guess it was a stranger because other than him I would think anyone who knew me who was interested would’ve bought it by now.

The rat’s gotten kind of fat like most of my rats seem to. I know I feed them too much junk and basically everything and anything, but if I only had two years to live I’d want to live it up, too. He’s still playful and loves his freedom and loves exploring, but he has slowed down a bit since he’s starting to get older.

Still worried about Maliheh, who I haven’t heard from today. Tomorrow marks one year ago that I first contacted her even if it wasn’t in the nicest of ways. And next month will mark 20 years since we first met. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but harder to believe we became friends in two totally different states, LOL.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Still nothing from Maliheh and still worried about her. I noticed she now has a scan of an old photo of an older woman (probably her mother) on Facebook. I couldn’t find any obits on her mother, but I’m wondering if maybe she just died or is about to, which would explain the dream.

The cold and the rain are to be returning for the next couple of days – yuck. :(

We’ve got a couple of eBay auctions running now, and other than that it’s been a typical Saturday.

I had a dream that I was up all night. It was 5am and I was tired. But I thought I’d wait another hour till Tom got up for work because there was something I wanted to tell him. Hmm… a dream premonition? I doubt it. It still seems awfully soon and I don’t have the track record with the good things I dream of as I do with the bad things.

Tammy got as excited as I get when I hear from Nane because I slapped one of those cool egreetings cards on her wall. She gave me one in return. She said it made her day. I said at least mine was in English. :)

I’m really surprised Nane hasn’t at least posted anything to her wall.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

“I can’t believe it’s raining and in the 40s and mid-May!” I said to Tom earlier. “It feels like February or like we’re back in Oregon. If we ever are dumb enough to risk another long-distance move, no half-assing it next time. Next time we’re doing it right and going summer all the way.”

“But we were limited to where you could go because of your ear,” Tom said.

“Yeah, but we didn’t know till we came here that the elevation in Oregon was the problem.”

“No, but it was safe to say that was a pretty good guess.”

Ah, that lifelong curse from above; my fake ear canal I had created in 1995. Another dumb mistake along with the braces. And as with most major changes I make or have made to my body, be it as a child or an adult, I have been made to pay for it. And so I have come to see that no matter what we may have for money, taking a chance on moving to a place that’s right at sea level (no place I’ve lived since the canal was made) may be asking for trouble.

But that’s just the problem – I’m not only full of conflicting desires but full of mixed emotions as well. I want to move to Florida because it’s warmer more often, it’s different, and I can’t know what it will be like, good or bad, without actually living there. At the same time, I don’t want to take any more risks. I’ve taken enough risks in life as it is. As we’ve learned, once we take root in a new place, we can’t just up and leave the minute we decide we don’t like it. It may only take a few days to get to a new place, but it often takes years to get out of it.

I even have mixed emotions about a job. I want him to get a job that’s too good to throw away, but I also don’t want anything trapping us here should we decide to up and risk moving long-distance again if by some miracle we get anything worthwhile out of his pension fund.

Tom had a strange feeling along his lower stomach/hip that felt like a rope burn. It started yesterday and has lessened today, but we’re not sure what it is.

Paula called my old phone number and amazingly she was able to leave me a voice message. I just played it right from the link in the email. She was just calling to see how I was and again I have to wonder why when we’ve got email. Email is so much better than phones. I sent her a message and let her know that phone’s been deactivated and that email is easier anyway, and what I prefer most. It seems I’ve already told her this, though.

Anyway, between the cold, rain and PMS, I’m in a blah mood. I feel hopeless, helpless and like things will never change.

Still nothing from Nane. I’m really surprised she hasn’t at least posted anything on her wall. That is unless she has and is hiding it from me. You can do that and choose to hide things from certain friends. But would she do that? Hmm… I don’t know about that.

Maybe that’s another thing that’s got me down. Other than hearing from Kim and Mitch (yeah, I can have all the attention I want if it’s male or a huge ugly chick), I haven’t heard much from anyone.

Marie answered Formspring’s question of the day for the first time in 3 months and updated her profile there. It says she lives with her wife and cats and has all she ever dreamed of and more. Lucky her, if that’s true. She also moved, apparently, to a place called Cheektowaga. Never heard of it. Where Trumansburg was in central NY this place is in the eastern part of the state just above Buffalo. Hmm… I wonder if she’s still in the boonies. I also wonder if some of the “blank” NY hits my blog gets could be her. And why is she following me on Formspring if she’s so happy with the woman of her dreams she’s supposed to have? I guess there’s no reason not to remain friends. I mean I will always care for her and wonder about her but I definitely don’t want to go back to regular contact with her. As soon as she breaks up with whoever she’s with now, she’ll get hooked on me again. Or maybe she would even if she stood with her forever.

Monday, May 16, 2011

“Always look ahead, not behind.”

This was something my dad always loved to tell me. Yet after I finally got my foot in the door as a fully published author, I looked back at some of my older stories to see which of them I may consider sending through that newly pried open door.

Hmm… I thought to myself. Let’s check out We’ll Meet Again Someday first.

But after I looked over the manuscript it basically screamed amateur louder than a cat in heat.

Next up for consideration was Heart of the Forest.

Amateur!

Next, I considered Nocturnal Obsession.

Amateur!

Digital Confessions?

Amateur!

Finally sick of being screamed at, so to speak, I began looking ahead just as daddy advised. Plotting, fleshing, thinking… Tap, tap, tap went my fingers on the keyboard, thus creating A Rainbow in Munich. It’s only 9 chapters long right now but definitely not so amateurish. It better not be, anyway, with as long as I’ve been writing!

The moral of the story behind the story – sometimes Father really does know best.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Andy was telling me that while he’s still much happier in life, he feels bummed that his sex life is “over.” He feels ugly and like no one’s interested in him. He said he realized a couple of weeks ago that that’s it. His sex life is over.

And I realized that my own sex life was over a hell of a lot sooner. I went on to point out that many older/long-term couples experience this, etc., even if most won’t admit it.

I know what it’s like to feel cheated and deprived at the same time I’m happy and feel blessed. And I feel the same way about myself; that I look fat, old and ugly. It just doesn’t get to us as much when we’re older as it does when we’re younger. Even though I know I could look a lot worse than I do, let’s just say there’s no way I’d get a job dancing if I looked like I do now 20 years ago! So I can relate to feelings of ugliness. I wish I could snap my fingers and have him materialize right now so I could give him a hug, but then I stop and think of how my appearance may scare the shit out of him and I cringe, LOL.

The love continues to grow, but the lust has long died. I know Tom would do his best to please me if I hit him for sex, but I just haven’t wanted to and he seems content with the way things have been as well. And the more we evolve as “friends,” the less I see him as a sexual partner. But this doesn’t mean I’d ever want to trade him for the world for he is the most wonderful person I’ve ever known and I couldn’t imagine life without him under any circumstances.

I also know I could make attempts to meet women in my area for sex, but won’t do that. Because A, I never find them when I’m actually looking, and B, the types of women I go for wouldn’t be in bars or putting ads on online dating services. Bars and dating services are more likely to be full of druggies, alkies, nutjobs and obsessive types. I’d rather that stable, successful financial genius called Nane, even if she is half a planet away and I don’t hear from her as much as I’d like and she’s forever out of reach. As Andy himself once said, the 20 seconds of pleasure and release aren’t always worth the shit that can come with it. I’d rather imagine first best than settle for some local chick that may very well cause me a whole lotta headaches and maybe even worse.

If I had to choose between real love and real lust, I’d take the love any day because I know that all lust eventually fades like a song played over and over and over again, but that my love for Tom and his love for me won’t fade. Remember, I told Andy, the next time you see a hottie walking down the street – he ain’t always gonna look that way.

Anyway, the point is I totally understand what it feels like to feel you have no choice but to resign to the fact that some things are just meant to be no matter what. We don’t have as much free will as some folks like to think we do. There really are some things that are totally out of our hands no matter how much we try to seize control of those things and change them. So just like he’s resigned to being sexless, I’ve had to resign to the fact that my husband and I are going to be very poor for most of our lives because that’s just who we were meant to be. It’s not fair and I don’t know why this is in our cards. We’re just as smart, capable (with the exception of my sleep disorder) and willing as anyone else and we truly did try to get ahead, but it looks like the best we’ll be “allowed” to do in life is struggle to keep our heads above water. But we ain’t getting out of that water altogether and this bummy old trailer and its serious lack of space will probably be our home for many years to come. Whatever my past, present or future dreams may be – there’s always someone else destined to live them out, but never me. So even though it doesn’t always console me to tell myself things could be worse since what’s bad is bad enough, I just try to focus on the good things I am allowed to enjoy in life.

We always seem to be lacking in one department or another. If it’s not money it’s sex. If it’s not sex it’s health.

I got up at 1pm yesterday and spent most of the day and night depressed. There have been no bids on our auctions, no more book sales, no book reviews on my book, and not even any waste-of-time job interviews for Tom with people eagerly looking to snatch up the young and pretty for hire.

Tom calls it PMS, I call it reality, though it’s probably a mix of both. I still can’t accept or be “ok” with knowing we’re going to be poor most of our lives and never have the things we really want.

We’re going to be poor, we’re going to rent little old dumps – why can’t I just tell myself this and get over it? Why can’t I tell myself there are worse things in life than being poor in someone else’s tiny old dump? Hmm… maybe because what’s bad is bad enough so it’s useless to compare myself to those who are in worse situations than mine. Yet some days it’s a hell of a lot harder to focus on what good I have instead of the bad. And today I see a poor, forever sexless person who’s going to spend a lot more time dreaming than living.

Speaking of dreams; the kind we have when we’re asleep – I had another senseless moving dream. I was moving somewhere but was moving with my parents. They were each driving a car. I don’t know where Tom was or even which one of my parents I was riding with. It makes no sense because they would never move me or anyone else and they certainly wouldn’t do it by car. I couldn’t even fit all my stuff in two cars let alone theirs and mine. But many of my dreams seem to have some hidden message in them or at least little hints and clues. The only possible message I see in the dream is any inheritance money they may leave moving us, and I don’t like that. I don’t like it for obvious reasons in that I’d prefer my parents to never die. But that’s not going to happen. So focusing on reality; I still don’t like it because that’s about 5-10 years away. That’s a long fucking time to be stuck here! We’ve already been here just over 3 years.

Gosh, I wish I could know just what the future holds for us! Even if I didn’t like it, maybe knowing would ease my anxieties a bit. But I’m never going to be that psychic, so that’s just a fantasy, too.

I realize that more than likely, if we ever stand a chance of changing fate, it’s going to have to be by me winning big. And I mean really big.

Where the hell are Maliheh and Nane? I’m getting a little sick of asking myself that and beginning to wonder if Maliheh’s playing with me. Is she really that busy that she can’t at least send a quick email every few days? And I don’t know what to think of Nane anymore. If she’s been on Facebook, then she’s been doing things I can’t see there.

Later…

“How do you know we won’t be forever poor and that this isn’t just about us? As in a curse that’s picking on us only?” I asked Tom.

“Because we’re one of millions of people affected by the economy’s collapse, and because the economy has been better before at which time we’ve done well.”

But when? When will it get better??? I can’t believe it’ll be before the decade’s up and that’s a long time to be struggling like this.

I still say God or whatever’s up there could’ve helped us and spared us from being one of those millions. When I think back over the last 20 years or so, there are so many things along the way that could’ve happened differently and for the better. Hell, Tom could’ve had a nice house with nice neighbors in which case we’d probably still be there with the place completely paid for.

I was surprised yet glad to hear that Andy’s getting food stamps, though they don’t call them food stamps anymore. These days it’s like a credit card that they refer to as food subsidy. He gets $200 a month and we, as two people, should be getting a little more than that once it kicks in.

Times sure have changed. It used to be that the lazy Mexican mom with 9 kids who refused to work or learn English was the one who did the collecting, but these days almost anyone who makes under 20-30 grand a year can collect. There’s been a big push lately to spread awareness about it. Even a group of college kids living together can qualify to get them as a group. It’s all about numbers these days which is the way it should be. Not about race, nationality or whether or not you have kids. Obviously, the more kids you have the more you get, but it’s nice to know they’ve finally recognized that even a white, childless couple needs to eat, too.

Andy said he was surprised I didn’t know this since I used to know about these things in the past. Yeah, but that was back when I was on disability in the mid-90s and would hear more about these kinds of things.

The biggest surprise was learning that you can make up to 30k here and still qualify for housing, though that one we’re not going to get because there’s no way Jesse could get this place to qualify. This is a 10-acre parcel of land in a rather expensive area and it’s just not going to qualify for C8. And we’re never gonna live in a scummy apartment again if we can help it.

Anyway, it was cool to play around on Formspring together for a while before he crashed. We’re rarely there at the same time. It seems that he, Mitch and my Ohio buddy are pretty much the only ones that keep in touch these days. As I said on Facebook in which someone “liked,” I’m not sure which is more frustrating - having friends vanish into thin air for no apparent reason or because we got into an argument. I think I’d rather the argument cuz then I at least know why they disappeared.

It seems that after not hearing from Nane or Maliheh for a while I then get what seems like a believable excuse as to why I haven’t heard from them, then once again I hear nothing from them until the next “reason” they give me. And now I’m thinking that yes, Maliheh is probably slowly dumping me and this is basically a game to her.

As for Nane; I probably said too much and she got sick of it. The last time we chatted in real-time I told her that her acceptance of those with handicaps only made me adore her more and that my lust may be turning into actual feelings for her. Funny how she suddenly had to go to bed, would talk to me “soon,” yet I haven’t heard from her since. She hasn’t even sent smiles and hugs or put anything on my wall in ages. Not even her own wall since the 5th, though I’m suspecting she probably has but just has it hidden from me.

But if she’s sick of me or feeling uncomfortable in any way, why not just dump me? Is it just a case of her feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to hurt me by tossing me out?

Sometimes I think it’d be kind of funny to dump her myself and send her the story I included her in, saying it’s her punishment for ignoring me, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to be mean to her. Especially if there’s a chance she may really seriously have a legit excuse for the silent treatment she’s giving me. IDK, maybe the guy whose ex she was helping get an apartment of her own hunted them down and shot them.

I was looking at a picture of Nane’s mother and wow! I’m still amazed by how attractive she is. I’ve always been attracted to older women, but this lady’s got to be around 70. Makes me wonder about myself, LOL.

The Beanie Babies didn’t sell, but the 9 dime-size pieces of turquoise cabochons we listed sold for just over $5. So up goes another turquoise lot. I wish I didn’t sprinkle some into the gravel around the pool we had in Phoenix to add color as I did. I’m sure the next owners were surprised to discover it, too.

We know they’d sell if we listed another large Beanie Baby lot. The problem is we don’t have any large boxes right now to ship them in right now.

It’s still cold and rainy here, but we’ve got another warm spell coming up in a couple of days. I’ll certainly enjoy it while it lasts!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I decided to send Maliheh an email letting her know I’ve been both worried and curious as to what’s going on and would really like her to know I’m here for her if she’d like to talk, and I did get a response.

Unfortunately, my nightmare did have meaning; it was just a bit delayed for some reason. But to think that I might now be able to pick up on other people’s pending disasters, late or not, through any nightmares I have that involve them is cool, creepy and depressing all rolled in one. Just like with myself, it serves no purpose other than to prolong my stress. I can’t stop whatever disaster is coming from coming just because I may have a nightmare warning me that trouble’s ahead. So it’s frustrating.

She’s just been having mixed emotions. She’s guilty yet happy her place was spared. She said she doesn’t know why but she keeps driving through the areas where they’re bulldozing damaged homes. She said she was sorry if she seems like she doesn’t care and that others have said she seems distant lately, too. She said she’s trying to make a comeback and asked how I was. So I guess no, she’s not slowly dumping me. We’ll see how I feel about that in a week if I don’t hear from her by then.

I’m starting to worry about Nane and think that maybe her silence isn’t personal after all. There’s only so much you can hide from your friends on Facebook if that’s what she’s doing which really doesn’t make much sense when I think about it. I would think that if she were really that sick of me or uncomfortable with me, she’d just dump me. But there’s been absolutely no activity that I know of from her. No posts, no new friends, no “liking” anything, no nothing. To make matters more baffling is that no one else has posted on her wall either. I went and checked and I don’t see any way to suddenly start hiding things people post on my wall from others. But aren’t others just as curious as to where the hell she’s been? I’m just glad I haven’t had any nightmares about her unless they too, are going to be a bit late in coming.

I had a dream last night that will probably have me scream if it comes true. Not so much because it’s the most horrible thing to have happen, but just because my accuracy rate is going from cool to creepy and starting to freak out even me.

The part I didn’t like about the dream was that it took place in a hotel. To back up a bit, pretty much ever since he got laid off I’ve had a vibe about him not being able to get a job until September. In the dream, I lay in bed and watched him leave for work through the window in the old 1950s pickup we don’t have with wooden rails around the back. Then I ran to my sister who was one of the hotel’s housekeepers, as funny as that may sound. She was sweeping out a stairwell when I came crying to her that I had a dream that Tom would be laid off from his new job in just a few months on December 6th which was a Monday.

Well, a few months would mean the job started around September, and when I checked the calendar, December 6th actually is on a Monday this year. It’s just too damn weird at times, the things I dream.

Eileen left a message on the cell to tell me she’s thinking of me. I emailed her and let her know I couldn’t extend my other phone but would call her once I get it up and running again.

Tom has to go to the food subsidy people on Monday to show his ID, get fingerprinted, and sign some forms, and within the next 12 months, I’ll have to go in, too. The medical thing’s on its way through, too. I guess they’re going to give us a card we take to the free clinic. I just wish we’d known about the Turk and this stuff when he first got laid off the first time in late 2008! Our lives could’ve been so much easier. Yeah, God could have helped us. He could also let me win the house I entered to win and really help us out, but I know that’s not going to happen.

The troll had fallen into a routine of checking out my blog 1-2 times every other day or so. Then I saw I got 21 views from her just today and was like, what have I done to get so many views from her? Then I realized she probably found Kim’s newest account through my ‘recent visitors’ section and was jumping back and forth between the two even though her blog’s marked ‘friends only’, damn it. I should’ve hidden it. Then again, I can’t protect everybody from this sicko, can I?

Friday, May 20, 2011

Other than winning the Rock Band 3 Game for the Xbox 360 to sell on eBay, nothing’s going on.

We have another 9-lot of raw turquoise listed.

There continues to be absolutely no sign of a job for Tom, and no trace of Nane either. She hasn’t appeared to have been on Facebook at all. Like I said before, though, it’s kind of weird others aren’t wondering about her too, and leaving messages on her wall. Maybe they’re just sending PMs, IDK.

I had a dream about my cousin Sharyn, only a lot of things about her were off, even though my dream self was sure it was her. I don’t know where we ran into each other. Some kind of reunion or party, I guess. She had just turned 50 even though she’s really 61. There must’ve been a pool or a beach around too, because she was in a bikini. She also had longish brown hair instead of short red hair.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I find it odd that I got two hits in TX and one in CA all with invisible search terms but the same provider. I smell Molly’s family behind it somehow. Molly’s back to averaging two views a day, but she occasionally takes a day off.

Slept through the end of the world today. Oops, sorry. Don’t worry. It will still end just as soon as the sickos in the Middle East obtain the means to destroy the whole world. So probably in another 100-200 years.

As for Nane, I’m starting to think something went wrong with her computer on her way down to Turkey. It’s still weird that no one’s posted to her wall, but right now I’m guessing she’s just having PC troubles. Maybe someday I’ll find out.

Writing stories never gets easier even if you get better at it. I know Ingrid’s gonna try to get Rainbow away from Nadja, but should it be because Nadja’s mean to her, or just because she wants her to stay with her? And should I surprise the reader with this happening, or do I drop hints along the way? Deciding what to reveal and when is another challenge. I’m also not sure about the ages of some of my characters. I want them older, but I don’t want a million decades between Rainbow and Ingrid either.

None of my last round of dreams made any sense. I was 8 months pregnant and looking to adopt the kid out. Then I was in a high-rise apartment we could never afford from the looks of it even if apartments were my thing.

Our turquoise lot has 5 views and 3 watchers.

Monday, May 23, 2011

The turquoise lot now has a bid. Still 3 watchers too, so hopefully there’ll be a fight for it in the end, and that will drive the price up a bit.

Talked with Jessie and Alison yesterday, but that’s pretty much it. I have my doubts that Ingrid will accept my friend invite because she’s simply not on Facebook much. According to her few wall posts, she hasn’t been on since early April and probably doesn’t have any other photos posted than her one low-res profile picture.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Yesterday Tom got back from meeting with the food assistance people with a big smile on his face. I asked if everything was ok and he said everything was better than ok and to go ahead and make up a huge grocery list.

We got our food subsidy card with over $300 in credit for starters since they pay you from when you first filed! We’ll be getting $245 a month from here on out. This will be a tremendous help and really take a lot of pressure off us. Life may still have other worries and other things to deal with, but food will be one less thing to have to worry about for a while.

He said there were a lot of people there but he only had to wait about 5 minutes. He told the woman, “Hopefully I’ll get a job tomorrow and I’ll have wasted all your time.”

But the woman said that even if he did we were guaranteed the food subsidy for the next 3 months no matter what. We could become millionaires tomorrow and it’d still be a done deal. :)

I won the book Wicked Lies by Lisa Jackson. :) A few years ago I won her Almost Dead novel and loved it, so even though I’m not a regular reader anymore with all I have to do these days, I’m sure I’ll love this one, too.

My own book should be on Smashwords soon enough. I created an account there yesterday.

Eileen said she felt guilty for not being a good enough friend even though she thinks of me every day. But her husband needed surgery and I guess her grandkids are sucking the life right outa her too, and so she hasn’t had time to finish my book. She promises to finish it and leave a review soon, though, and as I told her, she’s a fine friend and I do understand.

The turquoise sold for $8 and we’ll just keep listing lots until the whole margarine container is gone. His parents gave it to us in the mid-90s. They had a neighbor from Mexico who was a jeweler. He asked that they hang onto it for him while he went home to visit but he never returned.

It’s hard to believe that person who was so excited about moving in here 3 years ago is the same person who now gets depressed when she thinks of how many more years she could be stuck here since I know that getting ahead doesn’t necessarily mean getting out. But it’s going to be ok because over the years I’ll personalize it, fix it up nice as money permits, and turn it from Jesse’s trailer to our home until I’ve made so many damn changes that I don’t want to leave it and let someone else enjoy all the benefits.

I don’t understand why I don’t want to stay here anyway. Ok, so there’s more barking than I’d like, but that’s everywhere. If we got rid of a lot of the junk we rarely use and don’t need and then redesigned this place it would be perfect for us. Totally ideal. Owning is too risky, so why wouldn’t I want to just stay put and make the best of this place? Hmm… I think I do, but was just having trouble, once again, accepting the fact that life isn’t what we plan it. The only problem is that we can’t redesign the place if we’re broke. And of course there’s only so much redesigning we can do when you only have 500 square feet to work with.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

We may be safe from tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, and floods and relatively safe from fires, but the fact that it’s 43º right now in late May is bad enough. Other than having a couple more weeks’ worth of cold nights before we get our two lousy months of round-the-clock nice weather we get each year, I won a coupon for a free candy bar. Nothing to get all excited about, but still nice.

What’s not so nice is that a certain tooth of mine that acts up every now and then is driving me crazy. It hurts so bad not even pain relievers help much. It’s gonna take a few days of using more peroxide and mouthwash to get it to settle down. I don’t understand how these teeth could hang on for so many years and not have broken up or died a long time ago. I guess I’m just meant to suffer. If I ever get to get rid of these teeth, I’ll be faced with a new long-term problem. You know how it works for me; I don’t get to solve problems, I only get to trade old ones in for new ones.

As for Nane, I’ve gone from wondering to worrying to not sure I give a damn anymore. Especially if she really has been around but is ignoring me. Like I said before, if it’s personal I don’t know why she can’t just dump me if she’s that sick of me or annoyed by me instead of ignoring me, but I’m kind of tired of trying to guess what may be the case. I’ll either hear from her again someday or I won’t. But as you also know, I can have all the attention I want from the males and uglies.

Other than not getting enough time alone and not liking how much longer I “vibe” Tom will be out of work, I guess you could say I’m doing ok. I’m hanging in there and trying to keep busy. I work on MT, I sweep, and I’ve been on a roll with my story. I think this new system I’m trying out is going to work a lot better where I just write the book first, then do all the editing later.

Later…

What I’m currently thinking as far as Nane’s concerned is that she’s ignoring me. I think she’s got things set up so I can’t see certain posts, but she probably posted status updates and pictures during her trip, which I suspect she has returned from. She’s usually on Facebook during the last few hours of her day, and again there was an indication that she was on at that time. Then there’s an indication that she’s not there when I think she would be going to bed. I guess she feels she would rather ignore me than just come out and dump me, but I think I’d rather her just dump me if indeed it’s true that I’ve made her uncomfortable in any way.

If her account had been hacked she’d have at least notified me and others by email, I would think, and if something had happened to her wouldn’t others be looking for her too, and posting on her wall? It is a bit strange, however, that no one’s sent her any “hugs” or anything like that in quite a while. I don’t think she could hide what others post to her wall, just what she posts.

LOL, I just deleted some of the posts I made on her wall. I wonder if she’ll notice it and if that’ll make her contact me out of curiosity. Then again, she may still see what I deleted since it’s her wall, after all. It may only delete it from my POV.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I think Tom has lost his mind. He just described the weather we’ve been having as fluky. I’m sorry but there’s nothing fluky about it at all. I wish it was, but it’s not. It really is this cold this late in the year in NorCal. Yes, we have a few hours during some of the afternoons where it’s warm, but it really is only warm consistently from mid-June to late August. By then we have to start shutting windows at night. Last year we couldn’t start leaving them open round the clock till late June. I really truly believe that while most places are warming up each year, this is one of those places that’s actually cooling down.

Either way, I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of freezing at night, especially in the bathroom, living room and kitchen cuz we’re too damn poor to keep it heated, and then being hot during the late afternoons. I wish it could be one or the other consistently, but we’re still 2-3 weeks away from that.

We need to stop dreaming and start living and think of this as our forever home. If it isn’t it’s going to be really damn close to it at the rate we’re going. We also can’t keep waiting for money we’ll never have. We’ll never have the 5-10 grand I’d like to have to fix it up. Therefore, we’re just going to have to think of ways to make these cramped quarters as comfortable as we can. I could sit here hating God – and I do – really, I’ll never forgive the bastard for allowing life to shit on us year after year and for ignoring every single fucking prayer of mine no matter how reasonable it may be like just to have a fucking job, and I know I’ll never forgive Him for helping to make our lives so shitty, but it’s up to us and to us only to make the best of the shitty hand we’ve been dealt. I’m never going to figure out what we did to deserve it and I’m never going to be able to change our fate either. So I might as well learn to just accept and deal with it because that’s all I can do.

Jesse had been pretty quiet lately, but Thursday it was the ATV and the dirt bike I had to listen to and yesterday it was the ATV and the chainsaw. What will it be today? Well, tonight will be the dogs, but fortunately, I’ll be crashing right around when they start up with their shit.

We still haven’t gotten the info we requested regarding our pension money. He says they’re just incompetent. I say they’ve got something to hide. We were supposed to be given the option of getting $200 a month starting next year for the rest of Tom’s life or a big lump sum. I think now, though, we’ll be told he can’t get the $200 a month till he’s 65 instead of 55, or the lump sum, but that if we want the lump sum now the penalty is that we can only get a few hundred bucks. I’d take it cuz by the time he’s 65 I’m sure they’ll tell him he can’t have his money till he’s 75. They’ll just keep dragging out all these false promises until we don’t get shit.

Yesterday we got me fingerprinted for the food subsidy thing. Amazingly I didn’t have to wait hours amongst a ton of screaming kids. Times have changed.

We also picked up the mail and grabbed some groceries, but that’s about it.

I chatted in Spanish on Facebook with my newest friend in Chile. It’s moments like that that make all the years of studying worth it.

Cocks and uglies. That’s all I can seem to get much attention from online, other than Andy and Christine. But Christine’s one of those in-between kinda people. She’s not a cock and she’s not ugly, but I’m not hung up on her like I am with Nane. If I was she wouldn’t follow my blog and keep in touch regularly unless she was as crazy as Marie.

One of these days I’ll get up the nerve to “punish” Nane with her story, then dump her. I’m just curious to see how long it takes her to give me her latest excuse before she, like Maliheh, goes and ignores me yet again.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

It was one whole decade ago at age 35 that I, not yet in need of glasses, walked out of the jail I was so wrongly put in for half a year down in Arizona. It too, was on a Sunday. I wonder about some of the officers who worked there and some of the inmates. I know some of the inmates eventually made it on to prison either for life or close to it, but I wonder about “Teddy Bear,” Perez, Palma and a few other officers.

I’m glad I found Rosa even if it took me forever and I stopped hearing from her. Furthermore, I hope Mary is released next month. I’ll have to check the site and see if I can find out. I hope her lawyer gives her the stuff I sent for him to give to her when she was lied to about getting out nearly two years ago in exchange for her testimony against her murdering husband.

Who knew that a decade later I’d be living in a bummy little trailer in northern California, dirt poor, uninsured and without much hope for a brighter future? At least I got some good things mixed in – all the things I’ve won, my cyber friends, a few new languages, and a book for sale even if it’s only sold 4 copies.

I had a dream Nane messaged me, but if it’s a dream premonition it has yet to come to pass. I now know, however, for the first time since her last message to me on the 10th, that she is at least alive because she added a new friend today on Facebook.

Some “friend” she’s turned out to be for me. :( I try not to get upset with her because she can’t help what she feels and she has every right to feel whatever it is she feels, but it still kind of sucks to know she doesn’t care enough to keep in touch more often.

I sent friend invites to her closest – or what seems to be her closest – connections in hopes of them having some pictures to drool over, but other than that I have a feeling our “friendship” is just about over. The good in it is the thought of laughing over sharing a certain story with her.

I slept shitty last night because my tooth kept waking me up in pain every few hours. I’m still in pain. :( Tom’s going to call on Tuesday and is so sure the waiting is over and that something can finally be done about it soon enough.

The pain and our never-ending situation of being stuck in a rut have me a little down. In fact, I’m in too much pain to write much more and hating God – or whatever the fuck is cursing me – more and more by the day.

I was thinking of the fact that something up there has been obsessed with me being stuck in various places since I was in my teens. But what if I were to stop trying to get out of wherever I was trapped? It can’t trap me where I agree to stay, can it? So while I may accept the fact that a house in Florida is just a fantasy and that it’s safer and smarter to just stay put, can’t I ever at least be able to fix this place up? If no one out there is ever willing to give him a job, we not only can’t get out, but we can’t fix this place up either so we can stay here more comfortably.

Monday, May 30, 2011

I’m not in the kind of pain I was in yesterday, but overall my mouth feels like it’s been burned. So I’m not doing great either.

Tom will soon be off to the store and I’ll be off to clean the kitchen with what little time I’ll have with him out of my way. I’m sooo sick of him always, always being here! But I know I better just deal with it because he’s got months yet before he gets a job.

Yesterday I was thinking about my life ten years ago. Today I’m thinking about what it’ll be like ten years from now. That’s a scary and depressing thought. I think things will be similar to what they are today, though I doubt my parents will be alive. I think we’ll still be broke, though he may have a job with insurance by then. I see us living here or in some other tiny old rental like it. Who knows who I’ll have for friends at the time or what kind of health problems we may have? I only know that within one year of getting my teeth dealt with, if I ever really can, I will be cursed with a whole new long-term problem. Since there is so much change on the internet I probably won’t be journaling where I’m currently journaling. I’ll probably still prefer rats as pets and hopefully, I’ll be even better in the languages I’ve studied. I will still be heavy and will probably still cut my hair only every 4 years or so.

It’s a few hours later now. I was going to post this entry earlier, but then I got busy doing the kitchen and sidetracked with other stuff.

Right now I am cold, tired, depressed and in pain. The future just looks so, so bleak. As I sit here looking up the hill towards Jesse’s place I think that even he has so much more of a life and more to live for even though he too, is older. He has what seems to be the place of his dreams. He doesn’t have to worry about finding a job since he’s going on disability or retiring or whatever. He probably has insurance, and he’s got just about every vehicle in existence save for a plane, boat and a train.

Tom and I were talking about how similar and dissimilar our lives our from the day we left Arizona almost exactly 7 years ago. We’re more developed as people and have had some fun times along the way, but we’re just as broke and uninsured as we were the day we slowly crawled out of the desert at 40’ long with our little old RV pulling our little old truck. We had Blondie and Baldilocks for rats then and a ton of hopeless dreams. But as I lay in the sweltering heat with no AC that night at the truck stop in Quartzite, I couldn’t yet know I had so very much more to learn.

That little old RV probably still sits today, abandoned on the far-out piece of land that nobody will ever want being so far from civilization and too volcanic and rocky for trying to dig septic holes on. I hope the local wildlife got better use out of that old ugly RV than we ever could.

Now why did Paula just leave me a 4-second silent voice message when she knows I prefer email? And how can she do it on a phone I deactivated in the first place???

Of the 8 friends and family members of Nane’s I’ve friended, only one has accepted so far.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Just got back from the county dental clinic. Amazingly, they got me in the same day he called. He thought it would be about a week. I thought it’d be weeks or even months. Also amazingly, there weren’t many people and there were no screaming kids. Perhaps if I hadn’t brought my iPod there would have been.

The doctor, an Asian guy, looked at the two x-ray pictures of the back bottom left area and pointed out pus which means the very back tooth is infected after all. This would explain since the nerve runs from the ear all the way along the jaw, why it sometimes felt like my ear was bothering me. It also explains why it felt like multiple teeth were a problem, the fatigue, the dizziness and the ringing in my ear that I’ve been experiencing.

I thought he was just going to pull the tooth then and there, but he said we had to deal with the infection first, so he wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic. This is my first prescription medicine since the 90s!

He said I did have the option of getting a root canal and crown done, but that’d cost us around $400 even with the discount we could get. As Tom agrees, though, if a tooth is that bad it should just be pulled no matter how much money you have. So on the 27th of next month, the fucker’s gone. For now, he cemented it with this filling that’s not really a filling and said not to eat anything hard. It will probably fall out soon enough anyway.

The biggest surprise was his telling me I still had pretty good teeth. Pretty good teeth?!?! I wonder if he even bothered to look at the other teeth. Then again, their job isn’t to deal with teeth, but just emergencies.

I told him soft enamel runs in my family and that everyone eventually loses their teeth, but he insisted they’re still pretty good and looked at me like I was crazy when I said he could pull them all for all I cared. Maybe if the bastard above would ever allow my husband a job and us some real dental insurance, I could get them sealed. They have a sealer that protects against cavities now which they didn’t have a decade or so ago.

Wait till I tell my folks! Mom turns 79 on the 6th so I’ll call them or maybe even sooner, depending on my schedule.

So much for thinking the antiseptic mouthwash and the peroxide would keep me from getting infected, and so much for thinking that just because I didn’t have a fever it meant I wasn’t infected, but I’m not at all surprised. I “felt” infected and it’s just hard to believe one would feel so much pain without being infected in some way.

When Tom and I were talking about that nerve afterward, he reminded me that that was the same nerve that was the biggest danger when I had ear surgery. Yeah, well, it’s too bad the doctor didn’t fuck it up good!

The assistant I talked to before the doctor came in said dentures were nothing to look forward to. She said the top isn’t so bad because up there you have more of a ridge for them to grab onto for suction, but the lower ones slip easier because of tongue movements and not having as much of a ridge, which lessens with age. She also said something about losing 40% of biting pressure with age.

The co-pay for the appointment was $12.50 and the prescription was $6.

[thatseventiesbitch]

My That ‘90s Show Review: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Alright, a few days (and rewatches) in, and I’m finally ready to give my thoughts on That ‘90s Show - a show I waited on for two years (but really, more like 17 years). Buckle in for a looooong essay, lol.

I give That ‘90s Show a solid 4 out of 5 stars. I’ll do my best to explain my rating below.

The Good

The Eric-and-Donna of it all. Well - this is an Eric & Donna blog above all else, so of course we were watching first and foremost to see our OTP reunited onscreen after 15 years! And we were not disappointed by what we found. 💗😭

Eric and Donna are happily married in 1995, and navigating the perils of parenting a teenager (shudder). They’re still just as in-love as ever, but now in their mid (late??) 30′s and acting like they’ve been married for 150 years. I guess they have been together since they were 4 🤣.

One thing I think the show really got right is Eric-and-Donna-as-parents. That went exactly as I could’ve predicted. Eric is Kitty to his daughter, well-intentioned but overbearing - and Donna sets boundaries with Leia (like her parents didn’t with her) but is also there to reel Eric in and to remind him of the important stuff: to trust their kid, to let her have her own experiences, to help teach her to take (smart!) risks. I adored that we got to see them “in action” as a parenting team, I loved when Donna went out to check on him and they talked through his fears about Leia growing up and not needing him anymore, I loved seeing how Eric is clearly worried he’s going to become his father (but it’s so clear that he’s so not)... I just loved it all.

Specific shout out to Donna-as-a-mom, which I never knew I needed in my life so much until I saw it! Her running into the Forman’s living room, screaming that she got Leia condoms, jellies, and the uglies underwear she could find... 🤣 Hysterical, and also felt so true to character. That’s exactly how I saw Donna parenting a teenager.

The Red-and-Kitty of it all. Red and Kitty are a joy. Seeing them as grandparents - and as a still-happy couple, enjoying their retirement (or not-so-retirement?) -was the other high point of the series for me.

Red and Kitty are still happy and in love. I never doubted they would be, but it was just heartwarming to see. I also loved their interactions with other characters, like seeing Bob and Fez come back (!!) and the introduction of Sherri, who very much feels like pseudo-daughter for them.

Red as a grandparent was everything I wanted it to be. Him calling Leia “kiddo” - my heart 💗. We kind of got glimpses that he was excited to become a grandparent on the show - like Eric and Donna’s pregnancy scare in season 6 - and I think now we see why. Red knows being a grandpa is where it’s at! He’s done with all the hard parts of being a father, being the ‘bad cop’, and just gets to enjoy and be the fun one! I am picturing him doing this Leia’s whole life lmao... like Eric and Donna sent her over for an afternoon and she comes home hopped up on sugar and Red’s like, “Sorry, she wanted it all and I couldn’t say no. Oh, getting her to bed tonight? I don’t know, not my problem!” Or like, he always gets her the noisiest gifts for Christmas. Kitty as a grandparent was also very sweet - her and Leia making up the pasta names is what immediately comes to mind 😂. Their “good cop” and “bad cop” dynamic has definitely shifted with the grandkid, and I could have predicted that (but it is fun to see!!).

Leia Forman. I adore Leia. I saw someone online say she’s the rare case of two great characters not having a super annoying kid, and I thought yep, spot on. Reboots are always a tricky beast, casting the kid of two beloved characters even more so, but this one worked out.

Leia is funny, endearing, smart, and I see a lot of shades of both Eric and Donna in her but also plenty that sets her apart as her own character. Her storyline about being a coddled, sheltered kid looking to break free and have some adventure worked for me, and I would love to get the chance to see how Leia continues to evolve as she gets older and spends more summers in Point Place.

Gwen and Leia, aka Geia. This is my ship! I really love Gwen and Leia together, and want them to fall in love (cackles in *fanfic author*). But I want it to be a slow-burn, where they realize they’ve fallen for each other, ‘accidentally’, over time. Falling for your best friend... who lives next door... hmmm, wonder why I like this pairing so much...? 😉🤣🥰

Pure nostalgia. The basement. The Hub. The Vista Cruiser. Fenton. Leo. I wanted nostalgia, dammit, and the show delivered. I will even (tentatively) put a few ‘90s references in this column, like hearing ‘Shoop’, ‘I’ll Make Love to You’, and ‘You Outta Know’ and seeing a few other 90s things that reminded me of my childhood, like Free Willy and snap bracelets. 

The humor. I went into the show with low expectations, specifically in this department. I was worried the humor would feel ‘off’, or would feel cheesy, or just not funny to me. There were definitely a few jokes that didn’t land (aren’t there always?), but over all I am happy to put the show’s humor in the ‘win’ column! I laughed out loud - a lot. I could tell that the same writers/showrunners were involved - it felt like similar humor from the original series. I think I enjoyed so much partly because I just love these characters, but many of the new characters had me in stitches too. Ozzie and Sherri in particular.

Sherri. Speaking of Sherri, she was my favorite of the new characters. Obvious Laurie stand-in is obvious, and that’s sad/unfortunate, but once I can move beyond that I really enjoyed her. I liked that she was a well-meaning mom but she definitely needs Red and Kitty’s support and guidance - I look forward to seeing how their relationship will develop. I even thought Sherri’s storyline with Fez was funny. It leaves the door open for Wilmer to return.

The references back to the OG show. The split-screen moments. The extended 90210 daydream/fantasy sequence. The Circle. The screen change sequences (the one with Kitty and Leia in the beanie hats is my favorite!)

The Bad

The 10-episode format. To me the most glaring issue was the 10-episode format, which rendered the season far too short to develop any of the characters or plot-lines they’d set up to satisfaction. Now, in fairness, maybe this is just the order they got for season 1. If they are successful, perhaps a longer order can be made for season 2. But also - maybe not. A lot of Netflix shows are consistently 10-episodes only these days.

But That ‘90s Show had less than half the episodes That ‘70s Show had in its first season to develop character and interesting conflict - and it shows. I like where they were going with everything, but storylines often felt rushed or like a lot of jumping around had happened from one episode to the next (For instance, I thought the Leia-and-Jay dating story went really fast. One minute they were all will-they-won’t-they, Leia’s never kissed a boy, and then BAM they’re together, calling each other babe, and she’s sneaking him up into her room for make-out sessions. Whoa!). The characters felt underdeveloped, too, or like we only knew one thing about them - because we didn’t have time to learn more.

So I know this is unlikely to change, but my biggest gripe is that there wasn’t enough runtime. You have an interesting premise here, you’ve sucked me in. Now properly develop it.

The focus on romantic relationships. Related, the focus on Leia’s romantic relationships was not my favorite aspect. I actually liked how they started the thing with her and Jay - Jay’s a playboy, but he’s not being one with her. They should’ve developed that out through all ten episodes, and had him just give her her first kiss in like, episode 9 or 10. The twist with Nate at the end is kind of interesting and could still happen (but as it is, it comes out of left field... which, now that I think about it, is how Leia felt about it too, I guess).

Regardless, I am neither team-Jay or team-Nate. I didn’t think either couple like, blew me away with their chemistry (although I don’t think we’re meant to feel that way yet, as viewers). My favorite parts of the season were seeing Leia’s friendships blossom, with Gwen and with Ozzie mostly. I’d have liked this season to be more focused on that - and maybe she stumbles into her first kiss along the way by the end of the season, anyway, and there’s still a romantic cliff-hanger.

The timeline inconsistencies (and others). There were several - the most notable being the timeline around Jackie-Kelso getting back together and Jay’s existence, and Eric’s age (38? He was born in 1960 so he and Donna would be 35 in 1995) - and while I am disappointed, I am not surprised. 

These are the same showrunners who gave us 3 different birthdays for Eric during the run of the show. The same people who gave us 3 different stories about how/when Eric and Donna met for the first time. The same people who gave Donna 2 sisters and then - poof - magically wrote them off (including in That ‘90s Show lol - “There’s only one girl in the world with Bob as her dad, and Eric had to pick her!”). The same showrunners who had Hyde turn 18 two seasons before Eric. The same - you know what, I’m going to stop myself. The point is, this shit is nothing new. That ‘70s Show fans are used to setting their non-sensical mistakes aside and enjoying the show anyway. Their inattention to detail officially goes in the ‘Bad’ column, though. It’s frustrating.

Jackie and Kelso endgame. Well, this ended up being exactly as it was leaked to be, and Jackie and Kelso were on their second remarriage. I do not mind Jackie and Kelso together and do frankly find it realistic, but this isn’t the happiest ending for Ms. Jackie Burkhart. I thought their scene was pretty funny (we did get a “Damn, Jackie!”), albeit brief, but I had higher hopes for the state of their relationship based on some recent promo materials. I also wished we’d seen (1) Jackie, Kelso and Jay interact as a family, (2) Learned what Jackie and Kelso do for a living/a little bit of backstory as to how they ended up back in Point Place.

No on-screen character reunion. I am bummed that Eric and Donna didn’t interact with the Kelso’s - or with Fez! (I guess Donna did, briefly) Seeing this picture makes me want to see it so, so badly in season 2! I think we’re all curious as to what Eric and Donna’s relationship is like with Jackie and Kelso these days.

The Ugly

Hyde’s absence. I think any long-time fan of the show felt Hyde’s absence, and wondered about the character’s ending. The character’s ending is: totally open-ended, since he was not mentioned at all. Although it was painful to feel his absence, I preferred this to giving him an ending like prison or death, which would have felt like a fuck you to the actor but not fair to the character of Steven Hyde. Mostly because it allows us to fill in our own ending for him. I’m going to say that he finally moved to New York, and he’s happy out there. He keeps in contact with Eric and Donna still. 😊

A few side-notes: One, I have a feeling most of the OG cast actually supports Danny Masterson, so... yeah. Do with that sinking feeling in your heart what you will. But I doubt they will write him off in a mean way for that reason.

Two, I think they were in between a rock and a hard place with this. Honestly, if they’d written Hyde in, in any way, I’d feel squicky about it. Even an off-screen mention. But long-live the fan fiction, am I right?? I’ve already started to see some popping up 👀

Kitty’s moment. Kitty had a moment where I clapped my hand over my mouth (even though I literally knew it was coming), and that was when she called Leia, “That lying little bitch,” when Ozzie told her they were at a rave. It was very shocking, and very un-Kitty-like. Did not like.

(That said, I am not one who uses labels like out-of-character in a context like this. It’s not my character - it’s Debra Jo’s and the showrunners’. It’s a part of her character I didn’t like. And that’s okay. She was in a moment of huge stress, probably suddenly worried sick about her granddaughter. I have certainly had bad reactions to stress, too. As my girl Brene Brown says, “People get scary when they’re scared.”)

Overview

So, I mean... I have largely good things to say about That ‘90s Show, and it was a tall order man, because That ‘70s Show is my baby. And ain’t nobody finna touch my baby!!!

Was it perfect? No. Some of the little things were off, but it felt like overall, the big things were on. And that’s what’s important. I also feel invested enough in the new kids (definitely in Leia), and I think they have a lot of different directions they can take the rest of the series. So 4 out of 5 stars, and when can I expect a season 2 announcement, Netflix??? 😆

[niccymo]

The ‘Spice of Life’✨ Legacy Challenge

Sometimes playing the sims can get a little stale, and somewhat repetitive, especially The Sims 4. I know I can get stuck playing the same stories over and over again, so I decided to create this challenge to add a little excitement and variety to my, and hopefully your, game-play!

After all, variety is the spice of life!

Gen 1: The Wild Child

You’re a sim who loves to get down, go on adventures and spend time with other sims! You can be a bit of a handful for some sims, but that’s okay! You’ve been wild since the day you were born and you wouldn’t want to be any other way. You have about a million things you want to do in your life time and you’re gonna do them all!

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals

Traits: Dance Machine, Adventurous, Outgoing

Generation rules / goals:

Join the secret agent career and get to the top of it before your sim becomes an elder

Once your sim is an elder have them start a new job, keep them on their toes!

Complete the Friend of the Animals aspiration

Master the Dance & Pet training skills throughout your sims lifetime

Have five animals in your sims house-hold at one time (these should be cats, dogs, raccoon, foxes, etc.) - you don’t always have to have five but you should at some point

Have you sim have at least 10 friends and having a falling out with one of them and become enemies

Have a best-friend that is NOT your partner / spouse

Have your sim go out at least once every weekend to either the club, the bar or somewhere else they can dance! They’re a dance machine remember!

Your sim can have as many children as you like, but keep in mind that they have a lot of animals in the house

You must have at least one child in order for them to become heir, they can be adopted or biological, it doesn’t matter!

Go on at least two family vacations, one of these must be to Mt. Komorebi

Have your sim be a very relaxed parent, no rules, no pressure to get good grades, etc. (Parenthood is needed for this but if you don’t have it that’s okay just do your best without it!) 

Gen 2: The Money Maker

Your parent was the coolest! but you always wished there was more structure in your life. You’re a perfectionist, and truth be told a little materialistic, but that doesn’t make you a bad person! You love to hangout with friends, playing video games and chatting about the latest Sci-Fi movies. From the time you were a child you knew you wanted the best things in life and were determined to work your butt off to get them! 

Aspiration: Mansion Baron

Traits: Perfectionist, Geek, Materialistic

Generation rules / goals:

Have your sim start working as a teenager to save up for their future house

Complete the Mansion Baron inspiration

Reach the max level of the Business Career in either the Investor or Management branch (although the Investor branch makes a bit more money!)

Master the video gaming skill throughout your sims lifetime

Have your sim start their own club once in their teens with ‘Play video games’ as the main activity. Keep this club going throughout your sims life and try to have a club meeting once a week 

Make your sim go to GeekCon whenever they can, once they have kids bring them along as well!

Have a hobby that can make you money - kind of like a side job. Whatever skill you choose (painting, flower arranging, etc.) master it

Once your sim completes their Mansion Baron aspiration have dinner parties once a week - Your sim is materialistic and they want to show off the nice house they’ve worked so hard for!

Once your sim becomes an elder have them retire and focus only on hobbies and relaxation (only once they’re reached the max level in their career though)

Gen 3: The Tree Hugger

You grew up in a wealthy household with pretty much everything you could have wanted. You had a great childhood and your admired your parents work ethic, although you knew that when you grew up you wanted to do something more meaningful for the world than investing. So you packed up your bags as soon as you hit young adulthood and moved to Evergreen Harbour

Aspiration: Eco Innovator

Traits: Green Fiend, Vegetarian, Good

Generation rules / goals:

Your sim should be a vegetarian as soon as they hit their teenage years

As a teen your sims should also start their own garden and begin working on their gardening skill

Your sim should complete the Eco Innovator aspiration within their lifetime

Master the Gardening skill throughout your sims lifetime

Master the Juice Fizzing skill throughout your sims lifetime

Join and reach the max level of the Civil Designer career

Your sim should live as sustainably as possible for this generation, this includes owning a bee box, having a dew collector and recycling with the home recycling machine

Have your sim marry someone as Eco-friendly as you bonus points if it’s Knox lol

Have an at home, eco friendly wedding in your sims backyard / yard. Having the wedding cake be a honey cake, get creative with it!

Adopt an animal that’s not a typical pet (raccoon, fox, etc.) your sim found this little buddy while dumpster diving and bonded instantly

Gen 4: The Undecided

You grew up with a parent and grandparent who accomplished great things; they were sims who worked hard and stuck to their guns. You have always been..well a bit different. You can’t even decide what you want for breakfast, let alone pick a career or spouse. This makes you jealous of others like your parent and grandparent who you believe have their life together.

Aspiration: You must change your sims aspiration 3 times during their life but never complete one, not even their childhood one.

Traits: Non-committal, Jealous, Erratic

Generation rules / goals: 

Join and quit scouts as a kid; get about halfway through before you quit

Have your sim join at least two jobs as a teenager. They can join and quit more if you like

Get your sim to level 5 of at least three skill during their lifetime before they quit those as well

Change your sims career multiple times, making sure they never reach the top of any career

Get your sim married, and divorced...twice. It’s up to you whether you sim ends up finding someone to stay with. However, your sim must have only have one child from all of their relationships.

Have your sim have an affair during one of their relationships. It’s up to you whether the partner finds out about this or not

Your sim must lose their relationship with the Gen 3 sim (their parent) after a big fight over Gen 4′s jealousy issue. Your sim should never speak to that parent again

Your sim must never be best friends or true lovers with anyone; they are non-committal and that means no matter how much they care for another sim they feel somewhat unsure about every relationship

Gen 5: The Vampire Groupie

Your childhood was less than ideal, although your parent loved you they had a lot of their own problems and that left you pretty lonely at times. Your solace was a particular vampire movie about a sim who falls in love with a vampire. “That could be me,” you though, “That WILL be me.” So when you become a young adult you take everything you have and leave in search of your dream life in Forgotten Hollow, the only problem with your plan is that you’re just a bit squeamish... okay a lot

Aspiration: Master Vampire

Traits: Romantic, Family Oriented, Squeamish 

Generation rules / goals: 

Your sim should watch a lot of movies as a child and teen. Of course your sim loves that particular vampire movie that definitely doesn’t rhyme with Highlight, but really they love all movies

As soon as your sim becomes a young adult move them into Forgotten Hollow

Meet and start a relationship with a vampire of your choice; you can put a sim from the gallery in your game or date Caleb Vatore, Lilith Vatore, or even Vlad Straud if you want!

I think this goes without saying but your sim should be turned into a vampire for this generation lol

Complete the Master Vampire Aspiration

You can have any career for this generation, it doesn’t matter!

Master the Vampire Lore skill throughout your sims lifetime

Master the Pipe Organ skill throughout your sims lifetime

Start a ‘Vampire Club’ with only other vampires present, you can use this club to do any kind of vampire activity - however, since you left your old life behind, these sims are your only friends

Your sim is squeamish so they personally choose not to drink other sims blood unless absolutely necessary, this means your sim must grow and sustain a garden full of plasma plants

Once your sim obtains a plasma fruit (and two garlic) they can prepare a Sunlight Reversal Cocktail if they like, that way they can go into the sun during the day; this isn’t required though

Your sim must have at least three kids. One of these children should NOT be a vampire. This will be the heir. If all of your children are born vampires you can use a mods to make them human. I recommend MC Command Center, which you can find here: https://deaderpool-mccc.com/#/releases

I also recommend this mod: https://modthesims.info/d/589300/child-vampire-manifestation-v1-9.html which basically makes it so that child vampires can perform any vampire actions, just like teens, young adults, etc.

Gen 6: The Beach Bum

Your parents are absolutely wonderful, but are weird. In fact, you’re convinced that you’re the only sane one out of your whole family. You love them but who in the right mind would want to live the life of a vampire? You knew early on that the vampire life was not for you, and thank goodness you just so happened to be the only sibling born human! I guess you can thank those recessive genes. You want to live the Beach Life, spending your days out in the sun and working to conserve the beautiful island of Sulani!

Aspiration: Beach Life

Traits: Child of the Ocean, Loves the Outdoors, Free Trait / You can pick your sims third trait!

Generation rules / goals:

Your sim must move to Sulani as a young adult and spend their whole life there

Reach the max level of the Conservationist Career

Complete the Beach Life aspiration

Befriend as least one mermaid - your sim can become a mermaid to if they want but it’s not necessary

Marry someone who already lives on Sulani as well

Have your sim live in a house on the beach at least once during your their life

Complete the sea shell collection

Spend ALOT of time outside; fish, ski-do, tan on the beach - your sim loves the outdoors and the Sulani sun, anything they can do outside they will

Keep a close relationship between your sim and their parents & siblings - even though they don’t love the vampire life they love their family

Gen 7: The Tinkerer

You’ve always been a homebody, hanging out in your house on the computer and tinkering with things in the home. Your parent was always nagging you to go outside and play as a kid. As soon as you were old enough to hold a wrench you were fixing things. You knew when you became a young adult you wanted to go to Foxbury Institute and learn to program and create robots!

Aspiration: Computer Whiz

Traits: Genius, The other two traits can be anything you choose!

Generation rules / goals:

* For this generation I ABSOLUTELY recommend this mod which shortens university. It just makes it sooo much easier to complete a degree: https://modthesims.info/d/646803/shorter-university-degrees.html *

Your sim should spend a lot of time inside as a kid, using the computer, reading books, playing video games

Have your sim complete the Whiz Kid aspiration as a child

Master the Logic skill throughout your sims lifetime

Master the Robotics skill throughout your sims lifetime

Master the Handiness skill throughout your sims lifetime

Once your sim becomes a teenager they should be the one who fixes ANYTHING broken within the household

In order for your sim to attend Foxbury Institute for a Computer Science degree your sim must have certain skills (such as computer programming, robotics, etc.) since it is a distinguished degree. You’ll need to work on these skills as a teen to have a chance to be excepted there. If you don’t feel like having your sim work on those skills as a teen your sim can attend Britechester University but they should still work on the robotics skill!

Complete the Computer Whiz aspiration

Graduate university with a degree in Computer Science

Live in a modern style house in any world

Gen 8: The Believer

Your parent has always been a technological genius, creating artificial intelligence. But you’ve always known that science wasn’t needed for there to be fantastical things in this world. No one else in your family believes your crazy ideas about alien but hey, you once heard that your great grandparents were vampires, so it could be possible! Sure you’re a little erratic but you’re determined to prove the existence of aliens, and befriend them. How will you do this? Well by becoming an iron pumping, rocket building astronaut of course!

Aspiration: Bodybuilder

Traits: Athletic, Self-Assured, You can pick your sims third trait!

Generation rules / goals:

You sim must join and reach the top of the Astronaut career

Your sim must live in Oasis Springs

Have your sim complete the Body Builder aspiration - astronauts have to be strong after all!

Master the Rocket Science skill

Your sim will unlock a rocket when they reach level 10 of their career (the rocket can either be the Apollo Rocket - unlocked though the Space Ranger branch of the astronaut career, or the Retro Rocket - unlocked through the Interstellar Smuggler branch. You can choose which rocket you want)  but honestly who wants to wait for that, so as soon as your sim gets to level 5 of their career use cheats to unlock the rocket and start building!

Once your sim has completed their rocket you must level up their Rocket Science skill to level 10 and then install the Wormhole Generator upgrade. This will allow you to travel to Sixam and meet aliens!

Your sim must befriend and marry an alien they meet on Sixam. If you don’t like that particular alien you can either come back to Sixam or open CAS and edit them, either is fine.

Have your sim have a baby with their new alien spouse. Only have ONE baby.

If your sims baby is born NOT an alien you can use cheats to make them one. MC Command Center can be used for this and is linked above for Generation 5

Gen 9: The Star of Sixam

You’re an alien and you’ve proud of it! You loved listening to your alien parent tell stories of your home world and knew that when you grew up you wanted to make your relatives on Sixam proud. The best way to do this is of course to become the most famous alien musician the Sim world has ever seen!

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Traits: Self-Assured, Perfectionist, Music Lover

Generation rules / goals: 

Your sim must NEVER wear their disguise unless absolutely necessary - they are very proud to be an alien and they don’t see any reason to hide that

As a child your sim should complete the Artistic Prodigy aspiration

Master the Violin skill throughout your sims lifetime

Master the Piano skill throughout your sims lifetime

Your can have your sim master the Singing skill throughout their lifetime if you want, but it isn’t necessary

When your sim becomes a young adult move them to San Myshuno, where their musical dreams can really take off!

Have your sim busk for money in San Myshuno at least 5 times

Have your sim reach the max level in the Musician branch of the Entertainer career

Your sim should marry or be with someone who is also musically interested - you can enter CAS and cheat this or create your sims partner

It doesn't matter how many children your sim has for this generation, but the heir should NOT be an alien - you can use MC Command Center to make them human if you need to

Gen 10: The Apprehensive Actress / Actor  AKA the Final Generation!

You grew up in a VERY artistic household, with parents who were both interested in music and one parent who made a huge career of it. You love acting and knew your parent was ecstatic when you started showing interest in acting as a teen. Unfortunately you don’t really like the idea of being famous...

Aspiration: Master Actress / Actor

Traits: Loner, Good, Creative

Generation rules / goals:

Your sim is an artistic child, however we aren’t gonna worry about completing the Artistic Prodigy aspiration as a child because we did that last generation - you can do it if you want though!

When your sim becomes a teen they should begin working on their acting skills

Your sim should reach the max level of the Acting career

Have your sim master the Acting skill

Your sim should marry someone non-famous in a private ceremony with only those sims (or family and close friends if you like) present

Your sim should maintain as good a reputation as possible - they are still a good sim, they are just a bit anti-social

Once your sim finished the acting career and has achieved the Global Superstar rank they should retire

Your sim, now retired from acting moves to one of two lots in Brindleton Bay that have NO neighbours

They should spend the rest of their life making money off of artistic projects such as knitting, painting, etc.

Have your sim leave the house only when necessary to avoid the paparazzi, and if they do go out they must wear a disguise

Your sims spouse can have any career, but they should NOT be famous in anyway

It is up to you whether you decide to have your sim have children and continue the family :)

Well we’ve come to the end of the challenge!! I just wanted to say if you decide to play this challenge or even have taken the time to read it, THANK YOU SO MUCH! It means the world to me to be apart of this sims community ❤️

If you decide to play this challenge on your tumblr pleaseee use the tags #spicechallenge or #spice of life challenge. That way I can see what you do with this challenge, that would be amazing 😊❤️

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

[btsqualityy]

Magnolias In Springtime: Part Two

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Arranged marriage!AU, ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, fluff, and smut

Warnings: Mentions of infertility, mentions of miscarriages, unprotected sex, dirty talk, impregnation sex, impregnation kink, oral (both Namjoon and reader receiving), penetrative sex, squirting, knotting and creampie.

Author’s Note: You guys know that I always post something on my birthday so here it is! This is the second and final part to Magnolias in Springtime! If you haven’t read part 1, you can find it here! Truthfully, this second part was just an excuse for me to write Namjoon impregnation smut lol But I hope you guys enjoy it!

It’s crazy how much things could change and yet stay the same in the span of a year. 

You still loved your home pack, going back to see the Alphas, Betas, and Omegas that helped shaped you into the person you were today at least once a month. You were still spoiled by your parents, who made it their personal mission to shower you with gifts whenever they had the opportunity to see their only child. Most of all, you still used the skills that you had learned in your childhood pack as you prepared to become leader of your new pack with your husband. 

Speaking of your husband, Namjoon was the best and most enjoyable change in your life as you had spent the past year falling in love with him. 

Admittedly, adjusting to being in a marriage and to a man that you did not know or choose beforehand was hard, but you quickly found out that Namjoon was one of the most amazing people that you had ever met in your life. He was strong, dependable, and trustworthy just like a typical Alpha but you were delighted to find that he was also big on communication and making sure that you felt comfortable enough to talk to him, he was caring, and even sensitive in certain situations. He had quickly become your best friend and you found yourself falling for him not long after the wedding was over.

“Y/N?” Eun Kyung called out and you shook your head as you broke out of your thoughts. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized sheepishly as you turned to look at your mother in law. “Can you repeat what you said? I wasn’t listening.”

“I see that,” she smiled knowingly. “A lot on your mind?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged as you fiddled with the handle of the tea cup that was in front of you. 

“Well, that’s understandable sweetie,” she assured you. “We’ve all been so busy getting ready for the Coronation, it’s no wonder that your thoughts are all over the place.” 

In the year since you and Namjoon had gotten married, Namjoon’s father Ho-jin had begun to slowly pass over the responsibilities of being Pack Alpha over to Namjoon. Two months ago, he had announced his official retirement and Namjoon would be having a Coronation to celebrate a new era of power. Of course, you would be celebrated as well given the fact that you would be replacing Eun Kyung as Pack Omega. 

“Anything you want to discuss?” Eun Kyung wondered. 

“You don’t mind?”

“Y/N-ah, that’s what we started these weekly tea dates for, remember?” She pointed out with a giggle and you smiled as you thought back on how your mother in law had insisted that you two meet every Tuesday aftermoon in order to talk and spend time together. At first, you were weary of it but it’s quickly become one of the highlights of your week, every week.

“I guess I’m just nervous about becoming Pack Omega,” you confessed. “I mean, I’m not from this pack and even though it seems like everyone likes me well enough, that might change once Namjoon’s officially Pack Alpha.”

“You remember how I told you about how my marriage to Ho-jin was arranged and how I replaced his mother when the time came?” Eun Kyung asked and you nodded your head. “I had the exact same fears as you do now and my mother in law, may she rest with the ancestors, gave me an amazing piece of advice that I have used continuously over the past 30 years. Wanna know what it is?”

“Yeah.”

“Your only duty as Pack Omega is to support your Alpha,” Eun Kyung began. “Whether that means reassuring him that he’s making a right decision, comforting him when he’s stressed and upset or even cussing him out when he’s dead wrong. The job of a Pack Leader is a stressful one and they must know that even if it feels like the world is on their shoulders, they will always have one person in their corner and that’s us.”

“That’s it?” You giggled and Eun Kyung nodded with a smile, pausing to take a sip of her tea before continuing.

“It seems intuitive right, because we’re Omegas ourselves but being the spouse of a Pack Leader means that we always have to shoulder a little bit more, whether it be more pain, more sadness, more hope,” she explained. “But I guarantee you, making sure that Namjoon is taken care will be the greatest thing that you can do for the pack.”

“I believe you,” you said. “I just know that Namjoon isn’t gonna make it easy for me. You know how he is about work and making sure the pack’s taken care of.”

“Don’t worry, Ho-jin already said that he plans to talk to him about finding a healthy balance,” Eun Kyung told you. 

“Good,” you smiled as you brought your tea cup to your mouth, taking a long sip from it. 

“Speaking of that though, there was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about,” she said and you lowered your cup from your lips.

“Go ahead,” you encouraged her before taking another sip.

“Are you and Namjoon....uh....fulfilling your....marital duties?” She wondered and you choked on your tea, immediately setting your cup down as you coughed harshly. Eun Kyung reached over and gave you several strong pats on the back, which helped you regulate your breathing again. 

“Uh, why do you ask?” You chuckled nervously.

“Well, with the coronation coming up, there’s been talk about the fact that you aren’t pregnant yet,” Eun Kyung elaborated and your eyes widened in realization. “Some people are beginning to become concerned.”

“And you’re one of them?” You shot back. 

“Yes, but not in the way that you’re thinking,” she laughed. “I’m worried about you as a person and not about your ability to conceive.”

“Why?”

“Because I know what it’s like to have your worth evaluated only in terms of how many kids you can pop out,” she smiled sadly and as her words registered with you, your jaw dropped as you put the pieces together. 

“Eun Kyung, you?”

“I struggled with infertility, yes,” she confirmed. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you whispered as you reached out, setting one of your hands on top of hers. She turned her hand around and intertwined your fingers with hers. 

“Oh, I’m ok sweetie,” she swore. “After Ho-jin and I got married, we had miscarriage after miscarriage and it took six years before I got pregnant with Namjoon and he became our miracle baby. I’m telling you all this because I known how isolating that struggle can be and if that’s the case for you, I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

“I appreciate it Eun Kyung, but I don’t think that’s the case for Namjoon and I,” you muttered. “We’re just taking things slow and not rushing it. I mean, we’ve only been married for a year and we have years to have babies.”

“Alright sweetheart, alright,” Eun Kyung laughed. “I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you and if that’s how you and Namjoon feel, then I’ll get everyone else off your back.”

“Thank you,” you smiled gratefully and she tightened the grip that she had on your hand reassuringly. 

“No problem. Now, onto more important business,” she grinned. “Finding you a dress to wear for the coronation.” You nodded your head immediately, grateful that she changed the direction of the conversation because you had no idea how to tell her that you and Namjoon had only had sex a handful of times in the last year. 

.............................................

After finally leaving Ho-jin and Eun Kyung’s house a few hours later, you went home and made dinner. As usual, Namjoon came home around 6 and the two of you sat down in your dining room together, eating and talking about how your days went. 

Everything was going very normally until Namjoon called out to you as you both worked on cleaning up the kitchen.

“Y/N-ah?” He said. 

“Hmm?” 

“Did my mom say something to you today about a baby?” He wondered and you turned to look over at him, watching as he continued to wash the dishes as if he hadn’t just asked you what he did. 

“How did you know?” You asked.

“My father said something about it to me today after our meeting,” Namjoon sighed and you walked over to him, leaning against the counter so that you could look at him. 

“She did too, and she told me about her infertility,” you told him. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because it’s super personal to her and I didn’t know if she would be comfortable with me telling you,” he explained. “But why do you think I wanted 5 pups initially?”

“I get it now,” you giggled. “What did your dad say when he brought it up?”

“It was definitely less diplomatic than my mom,” he chuckled as he finished rinsing off the dishes and began drying off his hands. “He went on and on about how our family legacy needs to continue on and if we’re able, we need to have at least a few kids.”

“Hmm,” you murmured and Namjoon looked at you skeptically, raising his eyebrow.

“What’s that mean?” He laughed. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged as you looked down at your feet but he didn’t buy that, throwing the towel that he was holding onto the counter and moving closer to you.

“Hey, talk to me,” he pleaded and you sighed heavily before squaring your shoulders and looking up at him again.

“Why don’t you ever try to have sex with me?” You demanded to know. “I mean, besides our wedding night, we’ve only had sex during my two heats and your rut, and I’m guessing that you didn't tell your father that.”

“No, I didn’t tell him that,” Namjoon huffed with a smile. “And the reason that I haven’t been trying is because I don’t want to push you. Even though we both agreed to this marriage, it still never leaves my mind that you didn’t really choose this. I don’t want to force you into yet another life changing decision, because pups are forever.”

“Hey, I wasn’t forced into anything,” you gently corrected him. “Yeah, I had to make a choice to save my pack but I did that because I wanted to. Plus, you didn’t necessarily choose this either.”

“I know but still,” he muttered. “I just didn’t want you to think that you were obligated to have sex with me, let alone have my pups. And as for the heat and rut thing, it was easier because you asked for me during your heat and during my rut, I could blame it on my hormones.”

“You sure that it’s not because you’re not attracted to me?” You joked lamely and Namjoon smacked his lips together as he set his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. 

“Baby, you’re the most gorgeous woman that I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he told you seriously. “I think the world of you, and you know that.”

“It’s kind of hard to remember,” you admitted. 

“I should have explained to you my reasoning and for that, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “But don’t you ever think for one second that I don’t want you. I think about you all the time, my Alpha gets nervous anytime that I’m away from you for too long and hell, my cock gets hard as soon as you look at me with these eyes.”

“Namjoon,” you whined through giggles, which made him smile as he looked at you fondly. 

“If you’re comfortable with it, I’d have sex with you whenever you wanted,” he said. 

“I’m comfortable with it,” you assured him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“But what about pups?” You whispered, your lips moving against his as you spoke.

“Baby, I’d love to see you pregnant with my pups,” he told you. “If it were up to just me, you’d always be pregnant. All you have to do is say the word.”

“I want your pups Alpha,” you murmured as you looked up at him through your lashes. “Please.” Without another word, Namjoon bent down and scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal and cling onto him as he carried you bridal style out of the kitchen and up the stairs. 

“I could’ve walked!” You exclaimed while giggling. 

“This is more romantic,” he winked at you. After making it up the stairs, he walked down the hallway to your bedroom, using one hand to open the door before stepping inside. He walked over to the bed, laying you down gently before crawling on top of you and kissing you passionately. 

You moaned into his mouth, your legs coming up to wrap themselves around his waist as you pulled him closer to you. He moved away from your lips eventually, his mouth trailing downwards and sucking on the mating mark that he had given you on your wedding night. 

“You’re perfect baby,” he mumbled against your skin and you could barely reply because he had begun to grind against you. The thin layer of your leggings did little to inhibit the feeling, and you felt yourself whining as you became more turned on. 

“W-wanna suck you off,” you whispered shyly and he pulled his face out of your neck, looking down at you with a smile. 

“Alright,” he nodded before climbing off of you, settling himself next to you on the bed. You sat up then, reaching down and pulling off your t-shirt before letting Namjoon help you unclip your bra. Even though the two of you hadn’t had sex as often as you hoped, you had sex often enough to know that your husband was definitely a breast man and he loved to see them while you gave him a blow job. 

You moved down the bed and settled yourself on your stomach in between his legs, pulling down the shorts he had on and his boxers just enough so that his cock fell out, taking ahold of it in both of your hands. He was almost fully hard and you didn’t waste any time taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip.

“Fuck,” Namjoon groaned deeply and hearing your Alpha feel good only spurred you on. You then took him as deep into your mouth as you could, making him moan from how good your throat felt around his cock. Once you deemed him wet enough, you began to bob your head up and down, using your hands to stroke the parts of his shaft that you couldn’t reach with your mouth. 

“Good girl baby,” he praised you. “So good to my cock.” You could feel yourself getting wet but you were too focused on doing your best to make your husband feel good. As you continued to suck him off for a few minutes, you could feel his cock beginning to throb lightly and you knew that meant that he was close to coming. Just as that thought registered in your mind though, Namjoon reached down and pulled himself out of your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” You wondered. 

“You're sucking me off a little too well baby,” he chuckled. “I was about to come embarrassingly fast.”

“That’s ok,” you shrugged. 

“Not if you want my pups inside of you instead of in your mouth,” he smirked, making you blush at his words. “Here, switch places with me.” You sat up and shuffled on your knees up the bed, turning yourself around before laying down on your back. Namjoon then sat up and grabbed ahold of the waist band of your leggings, pulling them down along with your panties. You let your legs fall out and Namjoon licked his lips once he set his eyes on your bare pussy.

“I knew it,” he grumbled, reaching out and letting his middle finger ghost over your clit. “I could tell you were getting wet baby, I could smell your scent from your pussy.” Without giving you the chance to reply, he dove forward and sucked your clit into his mouth. You cried out, your back arching up off of the bed as he suckled on your clit. 

“Damn it,” you whimpered, lifting your head and watching him as he began to leave wide licks up your slit. 

“Let’s see how you do with a finger,” Namjoon muttered, pausing the actions of his tongue in order to slide his middle finger inside of you. 

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, letting your had fall back against the bed. 

“You’re so tight baby, you’re just swallowing my finger,” Namjoon groaned. You felt movement on the bed and when you opened your eyes, you were surprised to see that Namjoon was now laying next to you on the bed, looking down at you as he pushed a second finger in alongside his 

“You want Alpha to make you come like this?” He wondered aloud as he began to thrust his finger in and out of you. “Wanna come on my fingers?”

“Please,” you nodded and he smiled as he began to fuck you faster. Namjoon’s fingers were long and slender, meaning that he as able to reach the deepest parts of you without it being too overwhelming to you. 

“Ha, ha,” you moaned in time with his thrusts.

“You’re dripping baby,” he told you but you didn’t even hear him because you could feel your orgasm winding to it’s end in your core.

“I’m gonna come,” you announced and nothing could’ve prepared you for Namjoon pulling his fingers out of you. You whipped your head to look over at him, tears beginning to well up in your eyes as you felt your orgasm slowly but surely slipping away. 

“Why?” You pouted and Namjoon cooed at you before leaning over and kissing you firmly for a few seconds before pulling away. 

“Alpha wants his Omega to come on his cock while I come inside of you, ok?” He told you and you sighed reluctantly before nodding your head. 

Namjoon pushed his shorts and underwear all the way off his legs before reaching up and pulling his t-shirt off as well. He then sat up and moved to settle in between your legs, taking ahold of the base of his cock and tapping the head of it on your clit. 

“If you want me to c-come on your cock, d-don’t tease me,” you whined and he just chuckled fondly. 

“Ok, I’m sorry baby,” he whispered, guiding his cock into you slowly. You felt like you were going to choke on air as he stretched you out, since you had basically forgotten how long and thick he was. 

“Oh, just like that baby,” Namjoon mumbled as he began to slowly thrust in and out of you. “You’re opening up so good for me.”

“A-Alpha,” you whimpered, clutching onto his forearms as he began to fuck you faster. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“What does?” Namjoon goaded you. “Tell your Alpha baby.”

“Your cock feels good inside me,” you moaned. “Feel so full.”

“God, I can’t believe that I was keeping myself from feeling your tight little pussy every day,” he grumbled. “I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s o-ok,” you stammered back, the beginnings of your orgasm starting to reappear.

“I’m gonna fuck you everyday from here on out if you let me,” he swore, looking down at you with hooded eyes. “Would you want that? Want Alpha to always keep you full with his knot?”

“Please, please, please,” you chanted.

“Want Alpha to fuck a baby into you?”

“Give it to me,” you moaned loudly and Namjoon reached up, sliding two of his fingers into your open mouth. You didn’t even hesitate to start sucking on them, making your husband groan as your tongue slid around the digits. 

“Gonna make you come,” he said as he pulled his fingers away from your mouth, reaching down and setting them on your clit. Your mouth dropped open as he began to rub firm circles on the nub and you were almost embarrassed by  how fast the stimulation sped up the pace at which your orgasm was running towards you. 

“Holy fuck, don’t stop,” you pleaded. “I’m gonna come.”

“Go ahead baby, I won’t stop you,” he promised as he continued to fuck you and rub your clit. Sure enough, your orgasm slammed into you a few seconds later. The moan that fell out of your mouth was almost deafeningly loud and you were sure that Namjoon would have indents on his arm from where you were gripping onto his skin as your back arched up off of the bed. 

“Fuck, you’re squirting baby,” he groaned as he took his hand off of your clit and placed his hands on the bed next to your head, fucking into you even harder now. 

“T-too much,” you murmured as you set your hands against his chest.

“You love it though. You’re still coming for me,” he smirked and you couldn’t help but to blush because you could still feel yourself leaking onto his cock. 

“I do,” you admitted and he leaned down, pressing a firm kiss to your lips. 

“You’re so perfect for me,” he grumbled and you could feel the beginnings of his knot starting to swell. “Squirting for me and marking your Alpha. God, it makes me want to stuff my knot into you and fill you up with my pups.”

“Do it,” you encouraged him. “Give me a baby Joon.”

“I love you,” he grunted and you gave him a small smile.

“I love you too,” you replied, moaning lightly when he kissed you again. As the two of you made out, Namjoon pushed his knot inside of you and you felt his cum start to pour into you. He continued to give you light strokes, making sure to fuck his cum even deeper inside of you than it already was.

“Making sure that it takes huh?” You giggled and he just blushed as he pulled back to look at you. 

“Gotta make it worth it,” he pointed out. “Besides, even if you don’t get pregnant this time, we can always try again and again and again.”

“As long as you make me come like that again,” you nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I definitely wanna see that again,” he smirked. “Maybe I should deny you your orgasm more often.”

“I’ll murder you,” you stated firmly, making him laugh loudly. 

“I’m joking baby,” he said, leaning down and kissing your mating mark. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered.

.............................................

A few weeks later, the day of Namjoon’s coronation had finally come. The entire pack was gathered outside near the wall of magnolias that you and Namjoon had gotten married near, waiting for the ceremony to take place. 

The two of you were in your shared bedroom, where you were helping him get dressed into his traditional hanbok. 

“Are you ok?” You asked him while you fastened the buttons on his chest. 

“Yeah, of course,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re trembling,” you giggled and he just sighed heavily.

“I’m terrified,” he admitted. “I’ve been looking forward to being Pack Leader my entire life but what if I’m not good at it? My dad and grandfather were amazing Pack Alphas and what if I can’t measure up?”

“Joon,” you tsked as you reached up and set your hands on his cheeks, making him look you in the eyes. “You can’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are going to be an amazing leader because you’re thoughtful, caring, and selfless.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” you smiled. “Just like I know that you’ll be an amazing daddy.”

“A daddy?” He repeated confusedly and you nodded your head. It took him a few minutes but when he put the pieces together, his eyes widened. “Baby, are you pregnant?”

“I am,” you nodded, squealing in surprise when Namjoon wrapped his arms around you and picked you up, spinning you around in a circle. “Wait, you’re gonna make me nauseous!”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he laughed as he set you back down on the ground. “I just can’t believe it.”

“You’re happy, right?”

“Of course I am,” he sighed contentedly. “I’m so happy that our parents arranged our marriage.”

“Ditto,” you cooed, leaning forward and kissing him gently for a few seconds before pulling away. “Now, we have to go. You have to go and claim your rightful position.”

“We have to claim our rightful position,” he corrected you as he reached down and intertwined your fingers with his. After taking one last look at him to make sure that he looked good, the two of you walked downstairs and out of your house, ready to step into your new roles and the new phase of your lives. 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 300: Days of Our Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: Hawks was all “hey Jeanist, wanna go on a road trip with me to my mom’s house?” Jeanist was all “you know it,” and so they hopped into Jeanist’s jercedes and took off. Hawks took a nap and had a flashback to his Dickensian childhood living in a abject poverty with his jerk mom and jerk dad, thinking heroes were make-believe until one day Endeavor arrested his dad and Baby Hawks was all “OH SHIT.” And then he saved a bunch of people, and the HPSC was all “what do we have here,” and blah blah blah, you know the rest. Back in the present, Hawks was all “well my life is currently in shambles, but on the plus side there’s no one bossing me around anymore so that’s pretty cool,” and then decided he was going to talk to Endeavor. Fandom was all “I can’t believe Hawks would side with his childhood hero over the man who burned his wings off and posted a video calling him a violent murderer who took after his abusive dad,” so that was fun and stuff. I can’t wait to see what piping fresh takes this new chapter will bring.

Today on BnHA: Our old friend Carbonation Carl tries to loot a Starbucks and gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen. Society is all “YEAH, WE’RE REALLY STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS SHIT.” Old Man Samurai is all “this room won’t stop me because I can’t read it” and abruptly decides to retire, which, fun fact, is literally THE LEAST HELPFUL THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE. Anyway so then a bunch of other punkasses follow suit, and while I won’t say that I’m actually starting to root for Stain to kill some peeps, just for the record I’m not not saying that either. Back in the hospital, Endeavor cries some tears because his life sucks, and then is confronted by his entire family, LED BY QUEEN REI, FIRST OF HER NAME, BACK IN BUSINESS AND LARGE AND IN CHARGE. Rei is all “fuck feeling sorry for yourself, we have a rogue Murder Son on the loose” and I swear to god I have never felt so alive.

so here we go! and just for the record, even though the last two chapters have been phenomenal, I don’t necessarily have any sky-high expectations for chapter 300, mostly because chapters 100 and 200 consisted of Mei Boobs, and Toadette and her horrific quirk lmao. so go ahead Horikoshi, what are you gonna pull out of your hat for this one

oh, back to this stuff again. sob

I guess there was only so much time we could spend having hospital antics and exploring Hawks’s past before we got back to dealing with the whole “the world has gone to absolute shit” issue huh, lol

omg

what’s with these bizarrely cute Noumus. why do I want to pet them

so the narrative text is going on about how people have been super paranoid about the Noumu ever since the USJ incident a year ago. so yeah, I guess the fact that there are now a bunch of them confirmed to be running around is really freaking people out even on top of everything else

wtf is happening here

what did this poor lil glass ever do to anyone. r.i.p.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

SODA SAM IS BACK ON THE LAM

tsk tsk tsk. my man has graduated from snatching purses to raiding cafes. going after that big money. this man has no business sense whatsoever lmao

OH BUT WATCH IT NOW!!

OH SNAP THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING BACK. WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW SAM

THIS MAN IS 172 YEARS OLD AND HE’S NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!!

WTF IS HE LIGHTING THIS THING ON FIRE OR SOME SHIT. GETTEM GRANDPA YEAHHHH HE’S CHARGING AT EM YEAHHHHHH

lmao so that was fun. and now we’re cutting to Wash!! omg. look at him

he’s so dedicated. too bad you don’t have a car like Best Jeanist. probably takes a while when you’re just running everywhere

you see?? you were too slow!!

NOOOO, GRANDPA. he defeated Pepsi Pete, but lost his life in the process. this is too tragic

anyway so the good news is that the cafe has been saved! but the bad news is, there really isn’t much of a cafe left. huh. I guess that’s one of the reasons why people are supposed to get a license to use their quirks like this

oh snap and now everyone is coming outside, and they’re none too happy to see poor old Wash over here

seriously Wash, get a bicycle or something. also the way this guy is gesturing so dramatically with his hand in this sort of “YOU SEE!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!” manner is sending me

OH MY GOD

HE SPEAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. IT MEANS JEANS PUNS ARE YESTERDAY’S NEWS, FOLKS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE LAUNDRY PUNS. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS ALL... UNFOLD

“the heroes had dwindled away” okay real talk you guys, it is literally only a matter of time before they press-gang the children into picking up their slack. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but it is happening one way or the other regardless. Child Soldiers 2 Electric Boogaloo. wonder if we’ll see a rise in vigilante action as well

OHO WHAT’S THIS? THIS IS A CHAPTER OF GRANDPAS HUH

-- no fucking way

WOW. WOW. WOWWWWWW

wow. so he didn’t do a fucking thing while the rest of the top ten were being turned into red mist in the previous arc, and now that it’s all over and they need his help more than ever, he decides... THAT IT’S TIME TO RETIRE. holy shit. “fuck you” doesn’t even begin to cover it my guy. you stand there and soak up those boos you coward

ohhhhhhh shiiiiit you guys. oh shit

the “I am not here” breaks my fucking heart for real though y’all. oh man. everything he worked for is gone just like that

(ETA: okay so a couple of the takes I’ve seen on this make it seem like All Might is somehow the bad guy here?? “this is what happens when society puts a bunch of glorified cops on a pedestal”, “finally the cracks in hero society are showing”, etc. etc. so, just a friendly reminder that this isn’t happening because of too much trust and a lack of critical thinking; this is happening because the villains killed all the heroes and broke a bunch of murderers out of jail. it’s happening because an organized league of terrorists succeeded in terrorizing, and so society is now understandably awash in fear and panic. like, it’s just wild to me that AFO is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and yet week after week fandom still has their “IT’S ALL THE HEROES’ FAULT” signs still up on their lawns. BUT WHATEVER, MOVING ON.)

also though, so exactly how much time is passing here now? I wanted to go straight back to the hospital and see what happens with Deku and the Todorokis. please don’t tell me we’re jumping ahead sob. my aaaaangst

OH SHIT

STAIN. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, AND I STILL DESPISE YOU FOR CRIPPLING TENSEI AND TRYING TO KILL MY BEST BOY TENYA. BUT AS IT HAPPENS, THERE ARE ONE OR TWO OTHER HEROES OUT THERE NOW WHO I WOULDN’T MIND YOU PAYING A VISIT I’M JUST SAYING

LOL BUT IT ACTUALLY ISN’T THIS MAN, FFFFFF

sob. yeah I was talking about Old Man Samurai actually but YEAH. HEY THERE ENJI

also is this entire hospital actually run by characters from Super Mario Bros though. first Yoshi and now this guy, come the fuck on that is not a coincidence

lmao they stuck him in another one of these cavernous creepy hospital rooms

wtf is it with Horikoshi and these giant fucking rooms lately. Kacchan’s in chapter 298, then Tomie’s colossal house furnished with like one table and a TV, and now this. and the weirdest thing about it though is that “huge space with nothing to fill it up” is like the exact opposite of what you’ll usually find in Japanese homes lol

so now Enji is just sitting there thinking things like “my head is fuzzy” and “I’m alive” lmao okay. not quite all there yet, huh. I’ll give you a minute

I’m so fucking curious as to who his first visitor is going to be omg. either way it’s going to be interesting af, and either way fandom is probably going to feel some way about it but OH WELL

okay now his thoughts are getting more coherent! and he’s remembering Touya, and feeling regret for freezing up and forcing Shouto to deal with everything instead

!!! OH HERE GOES BRACE YOURSELVES Y’ALL IT’S ABOUT TO GET SPICY

NO TOUYA PLEASE DON’T CRY HONEY NO PLEASE

ohhhhhhh man

okay, I mean I didn’t expect you to, but so instead then you’re just going to do... what? lie there and wallow in regret and self-pity for the rest of your life? son you know that’s not how we deal with our problems here in Shounen

though also, I totally do get it though. honestly, thinking on it, I probably would have been disappointed with any other response. but so this is where the rest of his family (including his adopted son) come into play now though, because like it or not they’re all in this thing together. and so friends, I am once again asking you WHO IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO VISIT ENJI FIRST

AHHHHHHH

KRANCH!!!! OMG AND THE OTHERS ARE SO TINY NEXT TO HIM THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THEM AT FIRST. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TWENTY MILES AWAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS REGULATION HOCKEY RINK OF A ROOM

holy shit I’m so excited lkjlklhlglkasdsjldfk

SDKFJLSKHLKJL

the way she has him by his collar lmaoooo. “lol nah you’re not going anywhere pal.” damn straight, siblings have to be ride or die in situations like this. banding together for survival. strength in numbers

OH MY STARS I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO DISSECT EVERY LAST REMAINING PANEL OF THIS CHAPTER PROBABLY YOU GUYS. WE COULD BE HERE A WHILE

love how Fuyu has absolutely no idea how to segue into THE SINGLE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION SHE’S EVER HAD, so she just GOES FOR IT in pure small talk mode like they’re meeting up for brunch somewhere

I KNOW IT’S A SMALL THING, BUT I APPRECIATE THAT THE FIRST THING ENJI ASKS IS WHETHER THEY’RE OKAY

lastly while I can’t wait for more of this delicious Natsu angst, I also just have to say that Enji has as much reason to cry right now as anyone on the planet. you can’t deny that being confronted by your not-dead-but-you-thought-he-was-dead son who’s all “SURPRISE DAD I GREW UP TO BE A MASS MURDERER AND I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW I’M GONNA MAIM YOUR OTHER KID” with a side order of “EVERYONE HATES YOU AND SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD EVER AGAIN” is enough to bum pretty much anyone out. there’s a Pagliacci the Clown joke here somewhere. BUT DOCTOR, I AM THE NUMBER ONE HERO

oh man lol he is seriously falling apart

damn. like you guys, I’m sorry, go ahead and cancel me, but I do feel compassion for the man. it’s therapeutic for me to see an abuser actually feel remorse and be truly sorry and want to change and want to make it up to his family. and it’s also compelling as fuck to read a narrative about a family that’s trying to grapple with that, because let me tell you straight up, as someone who’s done a version of that song and dance -- it is exhausting. it is a piping hot mess. it’s a gigantic mishmosh of extremely volatile emotions that all somehow all contradict one another. love, hurt, hope, anger, betrayal, resentment, attachment, longing. it’s something you can both be desperate for and also want nothing at all to do with. and attempting to portray all of that and write about it is a monumental task, and one which Horikoshi has done so, so delicately thus far, and damn but I appreciate it. anyway, so I’m here and I’m ready for my latest helping of Todoroki Fam Feels you guys

GASP

oh man. OHMANOHMANOHMAN. CAN IT REALLY BE. IS THIS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF CHAPTERS 100 AND 200???

LMAO SHE’S ALL “WE ALL FEEL BAD YOU JACKASS STOP CRYING ABOUT IT”

LAY INTO HIM REI!! SORRY ENJI YOUR PITY PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IN FAVOR OF A “SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT” PARTY COURTESY OF QUEEN ELSA OVER HERE. THE PEOPLE TOOK A VOTE AND WE WANT LESS WHINING AND MORE ACTION

oh my god look at this lady folks

NOTE THE HAIR BLOWING IN THE NONEXISTENT WIND. NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHOUTO GOT THIS POWER FROM

(ETA: btw guys, seeing Rei handle this crisis like an absolute champ despite everything she’s been through is everything, though. I’m reminded of Hawks’s line last week about people sometimes unexpectedly finding liberation when they’re backed into a corner. like things may be shit but goddammit her kiddos need her.)

THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ENDING SOB, IT’S ONLY A 17-PAGER THIS WEEK, BUT GODDAMN WHAT A WAY TO CLOSE

oh my god. oh my god oh my god. AND FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI FOR CUTTING IT OFF THERE sob. it’s like each week the wait for the next chapter becomes more painful. the Todofam is about to get real, and on top of that Hawks is gonna crash the party at some point down the line, and on top of that we’re still waiting for Kacchan to have his own heartfelt discussion about What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Next with his best friend who’s currently in a coma. all I want to do with my life is read about these three things, and all I can do is simply wait as they are portioned out in agonizing, addicting little installments every week

anyway! tune in next time as we answer the question of whether or not fandom will finally run its train of logic all the way through to its natural conclusion and somehow manage to cancel Noted Abuse Apologist Todoroki Fucking Rei. don’t act like it can’t happen. you all know nothing is sacred lol. anyways but I’m ready for anything lol, bring it

[t0wnspersonb]

Love and Ghosts (Tendou Satori x Reader)

Word Count: 2,054

Summary: The volleyball team decides to take a trip to the mountains for a training camp. One night as everyone is settling down Tendou decides to tell a scary story, and you, being the complete scaredy cat that you are, couldn’t handle it. But your favorite middle blocker doesn’t hesitate to comfort you... both times.

~~~

I’m so sorry for not being active as much guys!!!! I really hope you guys enjoy this one, I hope I was able to do our Tendou some justice since he doesn’t get that much love I feel like. I hope the writing isn’t shit either lol. I’ve been super busy with life recently and haven’t really had the time or motivation to write a lot. Requests are open, so I will be shuffling through my inbox and will be writing for those hopefully soon. Once again I hope this story is okay and not complete garbage, writing for Tendou is a bit hard for me because I feel like I can’t really capture his personality lol. BUT let me know what you think😘😘😘

~~~

You whimpered softly, your grip on Goshiki tightening dramatically, not that he even noticed since he was squeezing you just as tight.

“ - But the next morning she was gone, and all that was left… was a bloody shoe.” Tendou said eerily, the flashlight he was using illuminated his face in the creepiest way possible. “Legend has it, she still roams around these woods searching for her shoe…”

Loud rustling was heard from behind you, causing you and Goshiki to scream loudly before you launched yourself over the campsite and right into Tendou’s arms where you clung to him tightly. You buried your face into his chest.

It wasn’t just you and Goshiki that had gotten frightened, the rest of the team had jumped at the sudden noise after being so engrossed in Tendou’s story. 

It was just Semi though, who was returning back to his seat after using the bathroom.

“It’s just a story Y/n-san, you should try and relax.” Shirabu sighed. 

You looked over at him accusingly, tears still gathered in your eyes. “It’s still really scary Shira-chan! You guys know I can’t handle these kinds of stories!”

The rest of the team looked at you in amusement and adoration. They knew how much of a scaredy cat you were, and how much of a cry baby you were. 

“I’ll protect you Y/n-senpai!” Goshiki said suddenly, although he was wiping the tears from his eyes as well.

Shirabu narrowed his eyes at him before looking off into the distance. “What is that?”

Goshiki screeched once more before rapidly looking around. 

“You aren’t going to protect anything.” Shirabu snorted. “You’re just as scared as Y/n.”

Despite the fear that had gripped at your heart from the scary story, you were incredibly happy about this training camp. 

It was your idea to do this camp in the mountains, and Washijou-sensei was entirely pleased with the training regime you had come up with.

Despite being a crybaby and a scaredy cat, you were the most reliable manager ever. The amount of care and thought you put into your team was greatly appreciated by everyone.

“Are you planning on staying in my lap the entire night Y/n-chan?” Tendou asked quietly, you looked up at the tall male who was staring down at you in amusement. 

Blush began to creep into your cheeks at his statement and your now realized position. You hadn’t even thought about it when you launched yourself at the redheaded male, but now that you were staring back at him, and realizing just how close your face was to his, well, maybe this was a bad idea.

It also didn’t help that you harbored a large crush on Tendou. You weren’t exactly sure when or how it happened, but recently just his appearance made your heart race. Tendou wasn’t shy when it came to praising you for your hard work, and it soon became something that you sought after. 

He wasn’t shy when it came to complimenting your appearance either, which you definitely didn’t mind. 

“S-Sorry.” you apologized and attempted to remove yourself from his lap, only for him to yank you back into his chest. 

His eyes turned catlike for a moment, a small smirk coating his lips. “I didn’t say that you had to move, you’re so cute when you’re scared Y/n-chan. If you want me to protect you the entire night my tent is always open.”

Your face burned at his statement. The butterflies in your stomach rippled wildly as a pleasant shiver made its way down your spine, you were suddenly very aware of his large hands resting on your back, almost burning through the layers of clothes.

“T-Tendou-kun!” you stuttered out in embarrassment, your hands shoving at his chest as you scrambled to remove yourself completely from him. 

He laughed loudly as you stumbled back to your seat next to Goshiki. Luckily everyone was in their own little world to even notice the exchange that had happened between you and the tall middle blocker.

“Y-Y/n-senpai you know that you can always depend on me to protect you right!?” Goshiki stuttered out, his eyes wide and bright.

A sweet smile overtook your features and you hugged the younger male tightly. “You’re so sweet Goshiki-chan! So reliable, what are you the ace!?”

The said male began spluttering about at your praise, causing the rest of the team to either sigh loudly or roll their eyes at the exchange. Sometimes your sweet disposition and praises were too much, especially because it stroked everyone’s ego immensely.

“Don’t coddle him Y/n. He needs more practice if he’s ever going to be the ace.” Shirabu sighed.

“Don’t be so mean Shira-chan, Goshiki-chan can be the ace if he really sets his mind to it. Although he definitely won’t be the kind of ace like Ushijima-kun.” You said thoughtfully.

“She’s right.” Ushijima said, glancing over at your group. 

This caused Goshiki to begin defending himself; loud bickering and laughter could be heard from your group now. Unbeknownst to you, Tendou was staring at you from across the campsite, his eyes drinking in every inch of your face, calculating and memorizing every reaction.

It wasn’t just you that had it bad. Tendou started harboring a large crush on you since you had joined the volleyball team.

You were sweet and caring, the gentlest person he had ever met. The kindness that you displayed to everyone was something that surprised him greatly, but what surprised him the most was your neverending dedication and praise towards the volleyball team. 

He remembered the first time he actually started to fall for you, and that was when you had found out about his guess blocking. The sheer awe on your face had made the male incredibly uncomfortable for a moment, until you began telling him how cool he was, how amazing he was. 

He was a goner after that. 

Tendou started to notice a change in you recently, the lingering stares, the extra touches, the newfound nervousness and blush that you always seemed to have around him when it was just the two of you.

Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but he had hoped that you felt the same way, that you returned his feelings.

After earlier tonight when you had jumped into his lap… well, maybe his hunch was right. 

By the time everyone had retired to their tents it was already incredibly late, and for some reason you couldn’t sleep at all. You sighed loudly as you tossed around in your sleeping bag before deciding to take a trip to the bathroom.

You hadn’t even registered what time it was as you started walking back to your tent, but suddenly the story that Tendou had told earlier fluttered into your mind, causing your body to break out in a cold sweat.

Wasn’t… Wasn’t it around this time that the girl in the story would go out looking for her shoe?

Your heart was racing in your chest as you started walking faster towards the team’s campsite, suddenly hyper aware of every noise around you.

That’s when you heard it, a loud rustling noise that caused you to pause. You slowly turned to look behind you and a tall figure could be spotted with the soft glow of your phone that you were using for light.

You screeched loudly and started running, you could hear thundering footsteps behind you, causing you to run faster. 

You weren’t athletic, you hated running, which was why being a manager was a great position for you.

But this was life or death, so of course you ran, you ran past the campsite without even realizing it until you were incredibly far out. Your body slowing down as your lungs screamed for oxygen and your legs burned with the need for rest.

You leaned against a tree, panting loudly as you gulped down lungfuls of air. But then something touched your back causing you to screech once again; your body squatted down, your hands hugging the tops of your head as you squeezed your eyes tightly shut. 

“I-I-I don’t have your shoe!” you cried out, fat tears rolling down your face, your entire body trembling in fear. “Please don’t eat me!”

“Y/n-chan.” a familiar voice spoke out and then large warm hands gently grabbed at yours, attempting to pull your hands away from your face.

“Tendou-kun!” You sobbed out, reaching for the redhead, you gripped the front of his shirt tightly as you pressed your face into his chest, his familiar scent and body heat eased your racing heart.

You weren’t sure how long you were in this position for, but eventually your tears had dried and your heart resumed its normal beat.

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” he said quietly. “For the story and earlier, I went to go get a bottle of water and I saw you walking back but before I could say anything you screamed and ran off.” 

“T-That was you?” you hiccuped.

“Yeah. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you that bad.” he laughed sheepishly. 

“It’s okay Tendou-kun… I’m just glad it was you and not something else.” You shivered at the thought, causing his grip on you to tighten. “Maybe no more scary stories for the rest of the trip, or at least not while I’m still up.” 

“No problem Y/n-chan. I didn’t know you could run that fast, it was pretty impressive.” He laughed again. 

A soft smile began to form on your lips, you couldn’t help it, his laugh had warmed you to the core, it left your heart at ease.

The safety that you felt being around Tendou was the best feeling.

“We should head back now… are you okay to walk?” Tendou asked, carefully helping you up.

“Yeah… oh here.” You handed him your phone so that he could use the flashlight, making the journey back a bit easier.

It was then that you noticed why you didn’t recognize him at first. His hair was down.

A soft flush coated your cheeks, he was incredibly handsome with his hair down. You had never seen him like that before, his usual spiky hair was something that you were completely used to, but this… this was making your heart race once again, only this time, it was for an entirely different reason.

“Y/n-chan… can I tell you something before we get back to camp?” Tendou asked awkwardly, his steps halting.

“Sure, what is it?” You stared at him in curiosity.

This was it. He was going to confess, he had to. He couldn’t take it anymore, and the way that you clung to him… the way that you made him feel, well, this was it.

He sighed deeply before his large hands rested carefully on your shoulders, he peered down at you with serious eyes and it made your heart quicken even further. 

“I like you Y/n-chan. A lot. I’ve liked you since the first day you became manager. I understand if you don’t return my feelings but… I just wanted to tell you before it was too late.”

You looked away from his intense gaze, you vaguely wondered if he could hear your racing heart, it felt like it was about to pop out of your chest.

He confessed.

Tendou liked you.

“Tendou-kun…” your voice was incredibly soft, your hands coming up to gently rest on top of his big ones. You gazed up at him through your lashes, a shy expression overtaking your features. “I like you too…”

Tendou’s eyes widened in surprise, now it felt like his heart was about to pop out of his chest, but then warmth seeped into his body. A wide grin overtook his features and he couldn’t help but gaze you with adoration and complete happiness.

“Let’s go on a date after the training camp is over Y/n-chan!” He stated loudly, and then began to tug you along back to the site. His long fingers easily intertwined with yours, your linked hands began swinging back and forth between your two bodies.

You had never been happier.

“My girlfriend is the cutest, we’ll go on a cafe date.” You heard Tendou begin to sing, his pointer finger waving in the air as he hummed happily to himself.

Maybe scary stories weren’t so bad after all.

[antvnger]

Blood Brothers AU - Far From Home

((Ohhhhhh. That’s a very good question!))

((Okay okay soooooo))

Since Tony survived Endgame, he’s currently in recovery and will be in recovery for a while.

Taking the entire might of the Infinity Stones and surviving can take a lot out of you, ya know.

Pepper: Congratulations. You’re retired permanently.

Tony: Can I be the guy in the chair sometimes?

Pepper and Rhodey: Far down the road

Tony and Scott: How far down the road?

Happy and May are definitely in love and living their best lives

Tony is hellbent on figuring out what to do with the Stark Tech since he’s for sure retiring. It needs to go to someone more out in the field.

Scott? Valid option, but he’s got his own Stark Tech though plus Pym Tech. He doesn’t really need what Tony’s got

Pete? Valid option but he needs to be trained in how to properly use the tech

Tony’s still recovering and the doctor and Pepper and Rhodey are like strict rest for now dude

Scott volunteers to train Peter but before he can, duty calls. He’s got some Ant-Man things to do.

Tony finds out about Pete’s really cool European trip, so Tony decides to wait until he comes back before training him anyway.

The Stark brothers find out somehow probably because Pete has no poker face when it comes to his crush on MJ that Peter wants to tell MJ how he feels about her on the trip

And they give loads of advice because they’re so excited for him. They’re like yes do it

And they also tease him about it because, hello? They’re the Stark boys and that’s what they do.

But their advice is a bit over the top, and Peter is like *chuckles nervously* “I don’t know if that’s gonna work for her?”

Tony:  You know what, kid? Just trust your gut.

Scott: And just be yourself. And don’t second guess yourself.

Tony: A little gift of affection wouldn’t hurt either

Before Pete takes off on his trip, Fury the real Fury gets a hold of Tony and is like “wanna overcome any fears of space you’ve got now and help me out with some stuff?”

Tony: ……What stuff?  Will Pepper and Rhodey kill me over said stuff?

[Exit Tony Stark until after No Way Home end credit scene]

[Exit Pepper and Morgan as well because there’s no way Tony’s going to leave them behind while he’s gone]

Which would also explain why Pepper never gave a statement at the beginning of No Way Home also.

Fake Fury and Hill meet Quentin fricking Beck in Mexico like normal.

Now....because I don’t believe Tony would actually trust Fury with his tech which is one reason why I have a problem with Fury giving Peter E.D.I.T.H., Tony leaves the tech with Happy and tells him to keep it secure until he gets back from his sabbatical/major guy in the chair stuff

But Happy sees Tony’s notes on Peter inheriting the tech, so Happy thinks he got stuff confused and gives Peter the glasses before he goes on his trip

E.R.I.T.H. (yes that’s a name) - Even Retired, I’m The Hero

I headcanon that Peter has ADHD so before he can text Tony thank you or ask any questions, he gets distracted.

And every time he thinks to do it, something happens and he gets distracted.

Peter and his class get to Venice and the Water Elemental fight happens like normal

Peter meets with Fury, Hill, and Beck like normal. 

Yes, poor Ned gets tranquilized by Fury still lol

All throughout the trip, Scott and Tony text Peter asking for updates on how he’s doing with MJ.

MJ: Your dad and uncle texting you again?

Peter: Yup.

MJ: About what?

Peter: *blushing and quickly hiding phone* Nothing nothing nothing nothing.

Scott and Tony: Do it, kid!

We’re also cutting out that one scene where Peter gets caught in a rather raunchy situation because that was just dumb tbh.

Basically everything goes normally until after poor Peter gets hit by the train. Uh ouch.

He wakes up and gets the cellphone and tries to think of who to call. Obviously Tony’s out.

Happy’s with May, so Peter doesn’t really consider him as an option. He’ll tell her and she’ll worry. Or try to come to Europe and kick Mysterio’s ass herself.

He’s honestly got one solid option, and he’s very thankful for that option.

Scott answers on three rings and has to tell the kid to slow down because he can’t understand, he’s talking too fast.

Peter can barely get out a few sentences before Scott understands his nephew’s in trouble in a big way.

Tony left him a quinjet that he’s kept shrunk down for things just like this, so Scott makes good use of it.

Scott patches him up and listens as the poor kids lays everything bare.

Peter tells him everything about the tech, about Beck and all the lies he told.

And Scott can figure out everything else Peter hasn’t told him. How guilty he feels, how ashamed he feels, how disappointed he feels and how he expects everyone else to feel the same against him.

Because he’s trying to be someone he’s not.

“Pete buddy, you can’t be Tony, no more than I can. You can’t be him or me or Rhodey or Nat or anybody. You can’t be the next Iron-Man. You gotta be Peter Parker. And he’s the only guy who can be Spider-Man. You win by being you. Besides, Peter is a great guy. So is Spider-Man. I’m sorry you thought you were expected to be the next Tony, because I can sure as hell tell you, he doesn’t want you to be that. He, like the rest of us, want you to be Peter. Because Peter is one helluva guy.”

Peter takes the advice to heart and thus leads to more more uncle/nephew bonding.

“Please don’t tell Aunt May…”

“Believe me, she won’t find out from me, kiddo. I’m not about to tell her, no way.”

Buuuuuuut since I really like the team up between Happy and MJ and Ned and think it’s funny….

Happy finds out somehow GPS maybe that Peter is waaaaay off course for his trip and accidentally lets it slip to May. So guess who she sends to go check on him?

Happy meets up with Scott and Peter and they devise a plan.

Now we’re building up to the Spider/Ant team up we all deserve.

Scott knows the tech, so he’s going to go after the drones and disable them.

Peter’s going after Beck and getting E.R.I.T.H. back.

Happy is to get Peter’s friends and classmates to safety.

After Peter gets Scott inside the horde of drones, he does what he does best and starts deactivating all the tech with his brains and know how. And he has to fight them because, ya know, it’s an action movie lol

Eventually when Peter gets to Beck, he does what he does best and uses his Spidey Sense Peter Tingle (that’s so weird to type out lol) and defeats Beck.

Scott’s finished his job and he’s nearby in case his nephew needs him.

If Beck makes so much as one wrong move, Scott’s gonna intercept and kick his ass.

But Beck still dies because of his own insane actions and for now, the boys are safe.

Little did either of them know to think about maybe Beck had a guy in the chair too….

1st end credits scene: Scott’s at home flipping through channels when:

“We interrupt this broadcast for a special news bulletin.”

We can’t see the tv or hear anything but just see Scott’s face.

Scott: 😱

Scott: *actually angry enough to say* That motherfu-

Second end credits scene: Peter is swinging with MJ

Daily Bugle: *angry sourpuss shouting*

Beck: lies lies lies

Peter: 😱 whAT THE FU-

[cora-vizsla]

Into The Dark- Chapter 1

Pairing: Jedi!OC x Sith!Obi Wan

Word Count: 4.5K+

Story Rating: E (18+)

Chapter Rating: Just assume they’re all E at this point.

Warning: Swearing. Threats of violence. Mentions of death/dying. Mention of war. Drugging. Snark. Angst. (I mean seriously if you know me you know angst is gonna happen)

A/N: This is the beginning! If you haven’t read Hypnotic this story isn’t going to make much sense to you. If you have read Hypnotic, welcome back! I hope you’re ready to be sad lol. Anyway, enjoy and let me know if I missed any tags!

“Darling, you can’t be serious. There is no way that you’re going.”

“I am being serious, and I am going. This isn’t really a discussion. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“Explain it to me. Please?”

Zara sighed and sat down next to her husband. Obi Wan smiled at her softly, brushing her hair back.

“Mace called me. Palpatine got loose which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I wouldn’t care but.. he took Cody.”

“Cody? Who the hell is Cody?”

They both looked up to Anakin walking in, a four-year-old Leia on his hip.

“Zara!”

She slipped down Anakins leg and bolted into Zara’s arms. She laughed and giggled as Zara held her close and spun her.

“Oh, my beautiful little Leia. Couldn’t let your daddy go without you?”

“Nope! Gotta watch him. Mama says so.”

Anakin rolled his eyes but laughed.

“I came here to help you, Obi Wan, but if that slimeball took Cody there is no talking her out of it.”

“The clone?”

“My friend.”

Zara snapped and glared at the blonde. He held his hands up defensively and sat back, crossing one leg over the other.

“Yeah, Oh-bee. Her friend!”

Zara laughed and kissed the girls cheek.

“That’s right. You get it. We protect our friends, no matter what.”

“No matter what!”

Zara set Leia down who immediately ran around the room getting into everything. Anakin sighed but Zara motioned for him to let her go. Out of the two, Leia was the well behaved one. She was busy but it was more out of curiosity than breaking anything. Luke was more likely to break things just to see how they worked.

“The question I have is why you didn’t call me to help you.”

“Mace was very clear that neither you nor Obi Wan were welcome on this mission.”

“So, you’re working for the Jedi. Again.”

“No, sweetheart. I am helping them get my friend to safety. We all know how dangerous Palpatine is.”

“All the more reason for me to be by your side.”

“Can’t say I disagree with the Sith, Zar.”

Zara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“No. Both of you will stay here. Anakin you have a family now. Your kids and wife are top priority. I’m not letting you get dragged into Jedi shit again. And you, my love, don’t play nice.”

“How rude, darling.”

“Rude, but correct. You don’t play nice with the Jedi and frankly I’m not letting you get near Palpatine again. He controlled you once.”

“So, you don’t trust me.”

Anakin cleared his throat and called for Leia. She ran over and jumped into his arms, holding on tightly.

“C’mon sweetheart. Aunt Zar needs to talk to her domesticated Sith.”

“Mama says you need to be nice to uncle Oh-Bee.”

“Well, mama isn’t here.”

“Good thing I am so I can tell her how mean you are to Aunt Zar’s husband who she loves very much.”

“It’s complicated, Leia.”

“Nope. Everyone duh-serves forgiveness, daddy. Plus, he makes Aunt Zar happy.”

Anakin sighed and looked at Zara for help, but she crossed her harms and shrugged.

“And don’t say its com-pluh-cated. You made Aunt Zara cry before. She forgave you. So, you should be nice.”

“You sound a lot like your mother.”

“Good! She’s the smartest person I know.”

Zara chuckled as Anakin sighed, defeated, and left the small home. She turned back to Obi Wan who had been watching her.

“We have a good life, Zara.”

“I agree.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

She sighed and let her shoulders slump slightly.

“Obi Wan, Cody meant a great deal to me. We worked together for a long time. I know that you don’t really work with anyone or play nice. It’s just when you work with someone for so long they become like family to you.”

“Not to be rude, but you left him before.”

“I left the entire order. I trusted the Jedi to keep the clones safe. They were to have their inhibitor chip removed and retired with honor. That isn’t what happened.”

“Well, your first mistake was trusting the Jedi.”

She sighed in frustration and got up off the couch. She put more things in her bag before turning to look at her husband.

“I need you to trust me. I need you to understand that a friend needs help.”

“And I need you to understand, my darling, that I know Sidious better than anyone on the Jedi counsel. What do you plan to do? Waltz in and tell him to give you your clone back and go back to jail?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what are you doing, Zara? This is reckless.”

“You wouldn’t save a friend if they were in danger?”

“I don’t have friends.”

“You wouldn’t save Anakin?”

“Absolutely not.”

Zara scowled and crossed her arms.

“Obi-Wan!”

“You could have picked anyone else we know, and I would have at least hesitated. That’s on you for choosing Anakin. It’s not like we’re the best of friends.”

“You wouldn’t save Padme? The twins?”

“I wouldn’t save them without you. I wouldn’t even dream of going without you.”

“Palpatine controlled you once.”

“Sidious had control; it was not over me. If you recall I convinced him not to kill you and tricked him into thinking that you were becoming my obedient little plaything. I tricked him at every corner, and he had no idea until the very end. Tell me I am wrong.”

She fell silent, looking at him with sadness written all over her face.

“Then tell me what the true problem is. Tell me that you’re afraid I’ll feel the dark side too strongly and go back. This has nothing to do with me not playing nice. It has everything to do with the Jedi playing into your fear of the very darkness that I carry inside of me and using it to control you. How can you not see that?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Which part?”

Zara looked down at her feet and chewed at her bottom lip.

“None of it. Cody needs my help. If I want the help and the resources needed to help him, I must do it their way. I love you with all my heart. I truly do. Is there some truth to what you said? Yes. I think I’ll always be afraid of you turning fully to the dark and not needing me anymore. The darkness does scare me. I’ve never said anything contrary to it. Your darkness doesn’t scare me though.”

“If you trust me, then you have to also trust that darkness, Zara.”

“I have to do this, Obi Wan.”

“You really don’t. You can’t change my mind of this.”

“Then I guess we’re at an impasse.”

Obi Wan stood up and walked to her, placing his hands gently on her arms.

“I know nothing that I say will stop you from going. I’ve known the entire time we’ve discussed this. Just know that I strongly think you should take me with you. We’re stronger together. Always have been, even if we didn’t want to admit it at the time.”

“I have to do this.”

He nodded and kissed her forehead, holding her close to him.

“Come back to me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of not coming back to you.”

“Don’t make me come looking for you either.”

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his torso, resting the side of her face on his chest.

“I mean it, Zara. I will tear this galaxy apart before I let anyone, or anything keep us apart.”

“I believe you.”

“Good. Just don’t ever let yourself forget that.”

XXX

Zara stepped down the ramp of her ship and pulled her saber into her hand, igniting it. She looked at the burned orange hue of it and thought of the man waiting for her. When she had settled onto Naboo, one of the first things she did was make a saber with the crystal he had given her at the ball.

Now she was glad for it. It reminded her of him and everything that she was always fighting for. It wasn’t as beautiful as his eyes, but it was close enough to bring her some peace. She wasn’t thrilled about not having him there, but she knew it was the best thing she could do.

She thought about their argument quite a bit on her trip. Obi Wan had been right about her fear. She feared losing him more than she feared losing her own life. The last thing she wanted to happen was for Palpatine to get his hands on him again. She couldn’t risk it.

The same went for Anakin. He had already twisted him beyond breaking once. He had no training with the darkness that he now carried. She had wondered if Obi-Wan could teach him but never brought it up. They didn’t get along and it came down to how much the darkness scared her.

It hurt her heart how much Obi-Wan was hurting. She didn’t do it to harm him, but it didn’t change that it did. Zara desperately wanted to get Cody to safety and go back to her life. They both deserved to be done fighting and yet there she was fighting another battle for the Jedi.

She made her way down the hallway and felt through the force. She sighed when she felt a familiar signature and moved into a wide-open room. In the middle of the floor was Cody, hands bound in front of him. Zara looked around to check for any traps but when she didn’t see any, she walked to her old friend.

“General?”

“Just Zara, Cody. I’m not a general anymore.”

“You.. you shouldn’t have come.”

“Of course, I did. You’re my friend. As soon as I found out you were missing, I came.”

“You don’t understand, General. That’s exactly what he wanted.”

“Who? Palpatine?”

“I’m so sorry.”

She knelt down to look at him and picked his head up to look at her gently. Her eyes widened when she saw that he had tears brimming his eyes.

“Cody, why are you sorry? We’ve talked about this in depth. I don’t care that you’re a clone. You mean-“

“I’m not the only one that knows your soft spot for clones, General. I can’t.. I’m so sorry.”

Before Zara could ask him what was wrong, she felt a jab in her arm. She looked down to see Cody sticking a syringe into her arm and push the plunger down all the way. She yanked her arms away and fell backwards onto her butt.

“Cody?”

“I told you.. you shouldn’t have come. I’m so sorry, General.”

The binders fell off Cody’s wrists and he stepped forward, pulling Zara up into his arms. The world was spinning so she shut her eyes, desperately wanting it to stop.

“I have her, sir.”

“Very good, CC-2224. Just as I expected. Bring her here. Destroy her ship before you do.”

“Yes, sir.”

Zara lost consciousness as Cody carried her to his ship. He set her down gently, placing her saber on his waist. Once she was settled, he walked over to her ship and looked through her belongings. He pulled out a few holo pictures that he clicked on. A small smile spread on his lips when he saw Anakin alive and well with Padme and two children. The other ones were of her and the Sith that had taken her. He had been worried when he first heard she had left the order with him but was assured it was her choice.

“You look so happy, General. Exactly what you should be.”

He closed his hands around the holos and slipped them into his pocket. He glanced at the dashboard and saw the emergency signal. He hesitated then reached past it, “accidentally” hitting the emergency button. When he stood up walked outside and waited.

“Stars, I hope that signal gets to someone.”

After a few moments he stepped back and shot at the fuel tank, exploding the ship as instructed. Once he made his way back into the ship and checked on Zara, he hit the coordinates for where he needed to go.

“I know you can’t hear me, General. I just hope you know I wouldn’t do this unless I had any other choice. I’ll do what I can to keep you safe. Hopefully General Skywalker and your Sith can find you in time.”

Once they were into hyperspace, he pulled her saber from his waist and looked at it. It was new from what he remembered, but still beautifully made. He expected nothing less from his former General.

He thought back on the first time he saw her. She showed up to command his troops with a smile on her face. He initially thought that she was going to be a weak leader and weakness meant death to clones. He had been so wrong.

She was the first Jedi to show compassion towards him and his men. She grieved their deaths just as much as he did. Nights when he was up wrestling with the pain of losing someone, she was always right by his side. She didn’t need to; the mission was always finished. She wanted to. She wanted them all to know that they were all individual people to her, regardless of where they came from.

She made it easy to run into the heat of battle. It wasn’t that he didn’t ever want to. He believed in his own fighting and trusted his brothers. It just came down to the fact that he wasn’t fighting for her. He was fighting alongside her.

He ignited the blade and widened his eyes when a new color came out. He didn’t know the particulars of the Jedi and their blades, but he had never seen a blade that color before. Cody looked down at his hand holding the hilt and frowned.

He had hurt her. What was even worse was the possibility that she would never forgive him for what he did. The chip had been deactivated before Order 66 could be initiated but somehow Sidious still had a hold over him. He had gotten close enough to him to activate it just enough to make him obedient. He glanced back at Zara asleep and shook his head.

“We will find a way to get out of this, General. We always do. Somehow, we will get you back to your happiness. Maybe I’ll even find a bit of it myself.”

He chuckled to himself and shook his head again.

“Look at me, thinking a clone can be anything more than a tool. You’d think I’d learn by now. Although you’d be yelling at me for even thinking that. Stars, General, I hope you don’t hate me forever for this.”

XXX

Mace sat in the council chambers alone. The last thing he wanted to do was call up Zara, but he didn’t see any other option. Once the war was ended, the Jedi no longer had the authority to do anything without the government’s approval. He knew that they wouldn’t send them for a single clone. As far as they were concerned Palpatine was no longer a threat. Not that the Jedi agreed with that at all.

When his coms went off with Zara’s emergency signal, he felt his chest get heavy. It ended just as quickly as it was received, but he knew the longer it took for her to message or call him, the worse that was. She had a propensity to bump into buttons, but she always called. He tried to call and was met with no answer. Master Yoda walked into the room and looked at him.

“Her signal went off then immediately went dead.”

“Feel it, do you? A great darkness, there is.”

“Yes. I feel it. It has to be Sidious.”

“Mmm. Yes. Suspect him, I do.”

“I’m going to have to reach out to Anakin and Veth.”

“Go. In much danger, she is.”

XXX

Obi-Wan sat in his home, reading the same book for the third time. As much as he wanted to reach out to Zara, he didn’t want her to think he was trying to distract her or force her back home. It was killing him though. Even just hearing her voice would make him feel better. He looked up from his book when he heard a ship land close by. Before he could stand up, Anakin was bursting into the house.

“Sith, it’s the Jedi.”

“Is Zara with them?”

“It’s only Master Windu.”

“Shit.”

He followed the younger man outside just in time to see Windu walking closer. He clenched his jaw, not wanting to see the Master Jedi at all.

“Anakin. Veth.”

The three men looked to the side as Padme and the twins came running out of their home.

“Wow, even your children are strong with the force.”

Anakin stepped in front of Mace and set his jaw; his hands balled into fists at his side.

“Don’t even look at them. They will never be hurt by you or the council.”

“I’m not here for your children, Anakin.”

“Where is my wife.”

Mace turned to look at Veth who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He still looked just as cocky to Mace as he had when he was a child, but the darkness swirling around him was new. It was the first time they had faced each other, other than through a holo communication.

“We should go inside. Small ears don’t need to hear this conversation.”

Anakin glanced over at Obi-Wan, who nodded back at him. Anakin looked back at Padme and gave her a tight smile before following Obi-Wan into the house. Once Mace made it through the door, Obi-Wan used the force to slam it behind him, smirking when the master Jedi jumped.

“If it weren’t for the children, you wouldn’t be welcome in this home. Now tell me, where is my wife and why is she not here with you?”

“She made it to where we though Sidious was with the clone trooper.”

“Cody.”

“What?”

“His name is Cody. You sent my wife to find him and don’t even have the courtesy to use the name she knows him by.”

Mace rolled his jaw and sighed.

“Cody. My apologies. She made it there safely and sent a communication she was heading inside the building. From there, we lost contact. Soon after, her emergency signal reached us and turned off within a few seconds.”

“And nothing since?”

“Nothing.”

“Sidious has her. That emergency signal was a mistake. Where is she.”

Obi-Wan was seething. Her being taken was exactly what he was afraid of, and he was completely powerless to change what was happening. The more he thought about how terrible Sidious was and how much she could be hurt, the more the room started swirling with darkness. Mace put his hand on his own saber and took a step back.

“Please calm down, Veth.”

“You called up my wife, the woman that I love more than anything in the galaxy and asked her to go on a fool’s errand with no backup. Then you come here and tell me that Darth Sidious, the most dangerous man I have ever met likely has her. Now you expect me to calm down. After everything you’ve done to me you’re lucky you’re still breathing. Let alone what you’ve done to her. She came to me broken, Master Windu. She came to me lost and afraid that she had lost every bit of her life and soul because she couldn’t live with your lies anymore. You nearly forced her to kill her best friend. Now you sent her into the hands of a madman. Tell me, why in the galaxy should I calm down?”

“I understand that you’re upset.”

Obi-Wan barked out a laugh and crossed his arms again.

“You don’t understand anything that the Jedi didn’t shove down your throat. Tell me where she is. I will go bring her back home where she belongs.”

“I’m going with you.”

Obi-Wan looked at Anakin and frowned. He could feel how unstable Anakin felt. The normal darkness around Obi-Wan he was used to, but the pure rage he was harnessing was drowning him. It wasn’t ever something that was discussed but he would never be able to fully get away from the dark side. It just wasn’t possible.

“You aren’t stable enough, Skywalker.”

Obi-Wan shot his finger out to point at Mace, shaking his head.

“You don’t get to tell him what to do, Mace. The audacity that you Jedi have. It is absolutely astounding that you thought you could walk into my home and tell anyone under this roof what to do.”

“You know he isn’t stable. I can’t be the only one who feels it.”

“What he is or isn’t is no problem of yours. Just give me the coordinates and I will take care of getting Zara back.”

“I want to help.”

“You have done enough. Now, if you will, I have much to do and none of that involves catering to you being in my home. You’re tarnishing the air and I won’t have it a moment longer.”

Mace sighed and shook his head, setting down a data stick with the coordinates and information about the ship she had been using. He thought about asking him how he planned on helping him, but he thought better and walked through the door. Once he left Anakin huffed out a frustrated sigh and grabbed the stick.

“Alright let’s go.”

“You aren’t going.”

“What!?”

Anakin spun around to glare at Obi-Wan.

“You just said-“

“I said he doesn’t get to come into my home and tell anyone what to do. That does not mean I don’t agree with him. You’re unstable. You have been for a long time.”

“I’m fine.”

“Tell me that my darkness didn’t affect you then.”

Anakin opened his mouth a few times and shut it, without uttering a word.

“Exactly. You have a family here that needs you.”

“Zara is my family too, Veth.”

“Stars above I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

Anakin smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why do you think I call you that?”

“You’re insufferable. I pity your former master. You wouldn’t have lasted five minutes having been my padawan.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m a lot stronger than you think I am.”

“I gladly would have tossed you off the first cliff we found. I considered it when we found you if I’m being entirely honest. Ungrateful brat that you are. You’re lucky when I shoved you it was to your safety.”

“I still don’t fully believe that was you. I don’t remember you being so smug.”

“No need for you to. It wouldn’t be the first time that you ignored the reality around you to construct fantasies that mean absolutely nothing to anyone else.”

“You’re an ass, do you know that?”

Obi-Wan barked out a laugh as he started gathering his supplies.

“Oh, I’ve been told. The fact of the matter is that you are not stable enough to come with me. I need to focus on Sidious and whatever he has planned. I can’t babysit you through your temper tantrums, reckless behavior and propensity to disobey any form of authority within a parsec of your location.”

Anakin frowned and huffed out a sigh.

“Then teach me.”

“Teach you? If Padme can’t control you, I highly doubt anyone else can.”

“I’ll listen! I’m not asking you to turn me to the dark side. I just.. I’m the only person in this situation that even remotely trusts you. If you would just help me, I can help you then we both can help Zara.”

He sighed and looked at the younger man in front of him. He meant what he had said to Zara: if given the choice he would not save him. He had a point though. He was someone he could trust to at least want to help his wife. After considering it for a moment he sighed and tossed his hands up in the air.

“Fine. Only if you go tell Padme that it is entirely your idea and that I was opposed to it from the beginning. You will listen to me and do as I tell you to. I will teach you how to control yourself at least enough to help Zara. Beyond that, just stay out of my way.”

“Yes! I’ll go grab my bag and let Padme know what is going on.”

Anakin head towards the door but paused when Obi-Wan spoke to him.

“And Anakin? The first time you aggravate me I’m shoving you out the airlock. Don’t think that I won’t either. I’ve killed for less.”

XXX

Cody carried a still unconscious Zara into a dark room, only having the very center lit up dimly.

“CC-2224 I see you have returned successfully.”

“Yes, sir.”

The shadow of a man stepped forward, using the force to push Zara’s hair from her face. Cody thought that she looked almost peaceful curled up in his harms, her face resting against his chest.

“You have pleased me, trooper. Now the next part of my plan begins. Take her to her chambers. She is not to leave unless I command it.”

“Sir, am I permitted to stay with her?”

“Yes. Keep her calm. Give her a reason to stay here. Though I don’t expect her to be on board with everything I say, at first, this entire plan is contingent on her falling in line.”

“Yes, sir.”

Cody turned, walking down a long hallway. Once he entered Zara’s chambers, the door shut and locked behind him. Normally it would have made him uneasy, but he was calmer knowing that he wouldn’t be separated from his former general just yet. He placed her down gently into the bed, careful to ensure she would be comfortable.

He pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed, crossing his arms over his chest. He glanced down at the black armor that he now wore, unsure of how he liked it. He always wore armor, so it wasn’t new. It just made him uneasy at how dark it was.

When he shifted, he felt the holo pictures that he had taken from her ship. He pulled them out and turned on their display, looking at Zara’s family. He felt so much guilt and pain knowing that he was part of the reason she wasn’t home with them. Cody knew that nothing good was going to come from Sidious getting his hands on Zara, but he was determined that he wouldn’t let her forget where she belonged.

“I can’t let you forget something that you always deserved to have, Zara. I just can’t.”

Zara continued to sleep while Cody sat next to her. He was caught between his loyalty for her and his obligation to follow Palpatine. He wanted her to wake up, but he also was afraid of what she was going to say once she realized he had betrayed her.

“You’re so strong, General. If anyone can fix this, it’s you. I believe in you so much. Please have just a little bit of faith in me.”

Tag List:

@mapplestrudel @cannedsoupsucks @musubabii @mascaracoffee @ahsoka-padme

[bnhablessings]

Can I request a oneshot/headcanon for Hawks x pregnant fem!reader? I was thinking of Hawks being super cute taking care of her and showing her off proudly to other hero's. this is my first time making a request, so feel free to do with this as you please lolz! also I really want the end to have reader going into labor and giving birth at the end with a very proud Hawks at her side (you get to choose the gender!)💖

It took me so long to get to this omg but I did and I hope you like it, Hon! It is past midnight and I have a weird obsession with tomatoes right now.

Warnings: Pregnancy, just a fluff overload, Profanity, All Might is retired, Dabi and Hawks are good friends AU (we ignore the manga, only happy feelings here lmao)

*I have fixed grammar issues. My brain power was not activated when writing this lol.

Words: 2438

Takami Keigo (Hawks) x Female Reader

“Isn’t she just amazing?” Hawks questions not really speaking to anyone else as he just admires the woman waddling down the hallway.

The other Pro Heroes around him stare at him with confusion. Aizawa, Yamada, Yagi, and Todoroki Enji all take a glance at each other before they wait for the woman to make her way to them. All of them but Hawks are profoundly confused.

“Uh… This was supposed to be a parent-teacher conference so may I ask why Hawks is here as well?” All Might asks.

Hawks ignores them as he watches the woman stopping for a moment to speak to a student. She looks genuinely concerned and it makes his foolish heart swell from how caring she is. Endeavor wants to slap the foolish look off Hawks face but ignores it to answer All Might.

“I apologize. We had lunch together before this meeting. He decided to follow me but I have no idea why.” The tone to Endeavor’s voice shows that he is irritated but curious as to why the number 2 hero seems to be enamored with a simple U.A teacher.

She hasn’t noticed him yet thankfully and he has proudly gotten a video of her waddling. The closer to she gets the more the expression on her face slowly turns into one of realization. The students at U.A respect and care for her so they always make room for her.

“Hey, Honey, what are you doing here?”  You ask softly as you place a hand on your very large bump.

He goes to respond when your colleague Present Mic starts to let out an inhuman sound that turns into a surprised scream. “What?! Honey?! (NAME) YOU’RE MARRIED TO THE HAWKS?!” Present Mic screeches.

You ignore the change in volume and laugh as you nod your head. Aizawa seems to nod as he pieces it together. “Ah… You did mention Tokoyami’s internship being close with your husband.”

“BUT WAIT! You’re married? All my attempts on wooing you have been in vain,” Present Mic mumbles.

Everyone seems to freeze at this but you just laugh more. “Yamada, have you not noticed my ring? I’ve been wearing it every day since working here!” You manage to say after laughing.

He has absolutely no reply but to slowly put his hands up to show surrender from Hawks’ glare on him. Without a care, Hawks pulls you to him so he can hug you with your baby bump blocking it fully. His hands go to rest upon it and he smiles widely.

“See! I told you I have a beautiful family too, Endeavor.”

Endeavor for once has to hide the smile on his face as he looks away. He replies, “Yeah. I thought you were speaking nonsense or showing me pictures of random pregnant women.”

“Nope! I can guess why you would be confused… Since I never showed her face. We have a little chickadee coming on the way!” The excitement is clear in his voice and on his face from the happy lazy grin plastered on it.

He looks at the others and bids them goodbye. “Well, I am going to steal her so she can have her lunch with me. See ya.”

~*~

“Baby, I promise, it is okay! I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later when you get home! I’m just happy you visited for lunch,” You say into the phone. Your other hand goes to your purse to look for your keys.

You hear Hawks mumble and whine on the other side of the phone but you ignore it until you find the keys successfully. “Alright, babe. I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I reach the house. I love you!”

After hearing his ‘I love you more’ he hangs up and you smile feeling great. This is unusual since the pregnancy hormones have made you feel like shit lately. It’s all going to be worth it though.

“Hey, do you need me to walk you home?” Aizawa questions as he enters the hall.

You think for a few seconds before you ask, “Would you be willing to walk me to the station? I’ll be fine from there since I’m planning on stopping by a store! I don’t want to waste too much of your time!”

He nods and the two of you begin the walk to the station. It starts as a comfortable silence before Aizawa speaks up with a smile on his face. “You know, I had no idea you were married to the Number 2 Pro Hero. It surprised me but at the same, it didn’t. What surprised me though was seeing the way he stared at you. You have a good thing going,” Aizawa states.

It was odd for him to give his input like that but it made you feel happy to know that Hawks’ love for you was just that noticeable. Once at the station, Aizawa gives you a look, something an older brother would a younger sibling or parent would their child before giving a demand.

“Call me if anything happens. I’m on patrol for a while so I’ll be near this area. Be safe going home, (Name).”

Today has been such a heartwarming day and Aizawa’s words only bring you more joy as you bid him a farewell.

It doesn’t take long to reach the store close to your home. You salivate at the thought of getting what you crave most. An odd combination that most people would puke from but what you need to satisfy you and your baby right now, tomatoes and frosting.

You can just imagine Hawks’ disgusted look but it wasn’t the worst thing you’ve had yet. You go to turn when your baby bump hits something off the shelf. Thankfully, it was just another plastic can full of icing so it didn’t break. Now the new problem was picking up the jar.

You know it was a near-impossible feat but you try anyway. You probably look very silly trying to reach and barely scraping the can with your fingernails but you don’t care. You are determined to do it. That is until you hear an obvious cough trying to get your attention.

You give up for now and look at the owner only to smile upon seeing the man you saw earlier. “Hello, Mr. Endeavor! We’ve met officially earlier but not formally. I am Takami (Name). It’s a pleasure to meet you and I apologize if my husband gets a bit too much to handle. He can be very chillaxed but he does take his job seriously,” You ramble.

“Pleasure.”

He merely observes you with serious eyes before he bends down and picks up the icing jar. He hands it to you. “Thank you! I would’ve been in a pickle there if I couldn’t reach it,” You murmur placing it back on the shelf where it belongs.

One of his eyebrows betray his lack of expression to show his slight confusion and you laugh. “I already have my icing in this arm! The baby bump knocked over that one.”

He doesn’t say anything in reply to that. Instead, he seems to contemplate saying something. He just needs a few seconds before he decides to say it against his better judgment.

“Hawks... He’s the Number 2 Pro Hero and extremely famous. How is it I never even heard or seen you? I thought he was fibbing about having a wife since he only produced photos of your bump and not of your actual face,” He didn’t want to ask it but the curiosity got the best of him and it was unusual to him.

The question made you smile but this time with a bit of sadness. You’ve received this question just a few times before but the answer remains the same. “We try to hide our relationship and it is easy when his fans like to think he is single. It doesn’t matter but we have private social medias for our friends. We like to keep my face hidden and such.”

The atmosphere turned a bit tense and for once (actually probably like the fifth time since Hawks had been determined in making him a better Number 1 Hero) he feels guilty. Something strange feels like it’s churning in his chest and he quickly fixes it.

“He does talk an awful lot about you though. It’s clear as day how much he loves you and your baby.” It was a simple two-sentences but it brought comfort to you.

He leaves without any more words and you are brought back to your cheerful self and go to pay for the items. By the time you get home, it is already showing signs of getting dark. You are quick to send a text to Hawks and it distracts you from realizing something odd is wrong with your door. The fact that it is unlocked.

You lock your front door once inside and go straight to the kitchen to slice the tomatoes and spread icing on them. You waste absolutely no time as you have it all ready on a plate and leave the room to go change into something more comfortable.

Of course, only Hawks’ shirts have been fitting you lately and you prefer them much more than your maternity clothing. So you wear that and a pair of shorts before coming to get your treat and hopefully take a nap. That was the plan before you have a fucking heart attack from seeing a burnt toast eating your food.

“How the fuck do you eat this?” Dabi questions spitting a tomato slice out of his mouth.

Your heart is absolutely broken at the scene. You ignore the bully of a man and stare at the red and white mess on the ground. How dare he do this to you?

“Oh fuck… (Name), please don’t do this. I’m sorry. I’ll go buy you a new fucking tomato if you want. With the fucking confetti icing and shit. Just don’t cry… Or tell Hawks,” Dabi says.

It is too late though. The damage has been done as your hormones go berserk from seeing what you craved on the ground (yes your mind is ignoring the perfectly good slices still on the plate). Tears prick at your eyes and before you can rub them away or cry, Dabi brings you into a hug.

As you cry into his chest he is already on the phone with Hawks but with your uncontrollable sobs, you don’t hear the conversation. After a few painful minutes (for Dabi) he finally pulls away only for your face to be smothered by your loving husband’s chest.

He hushes you gently and rubs soothing circles on your back all while glaring at his best friend.

Dabi raises his hand in defense. “Hey man, I just came here to visit the princess with good intentions. Thanks for bringing the tomato. I owe you one.”

Another minute later Dabi presents to you a brand new plate with a tomato covered in icing. You sniffle lightly and take it before mumbling, “Thanks. Sorry for the way I acted. That was pathetic.”

“Hey no, it wasn’t Doll. I take full blame for eating your weird food. That and it is 100% Hawks’ fault for knocking you up Beautiful. Anyway, I got to bounce but are we good?” Dabi asks opening his arms for another hug.

You smile and give in. “We’re always good. Now get out of here. We’ll invite you over for a chicken wing dinner,” You offer.

He leaves with a stupid smile on his face and Hawks smiles as he can finally full-on cuddle you without interruptions. Of course, after you are done eating. He pulls you to cuddle on the couch with him, his wings stretched out and resting against the couch.

“You good, Babe?”

You nod the exhaustion pouring in on your face, “Yeah. Sorry I ended up making you come home early. I didn’t mean to get like that.”

“It’s all good. I would do anything for you and the baby. No tomato is safe from being devoured by you if that is what you desire.”

You are too tired to even give a response to that. Instead, you try and curl up into him as you make sure your bump is comfortable at the same time. His hands rest on your belly as he hums into your ear.

“What only two months left now?”

Yeah, and they are going to fly right by.

~*~

“You had to come in through the window?” Hawks asks in a hushed voice.

Dabi only smirks before his eyes fall on your resting figure. Hawks is sitting right beside you on the bed. The sweet bundle of joy he came to meet is resting in Hawks’ arms right beside you.

“Can’t impress anyone if I didn’t. All the Heroes come by already?” Dabi asks as he takes slow and steady steps to the three of you.

You smile weakly as you recall your three colleagues coming in to check on you and meet the baby (that Hawks may or may not have shoved in their face from how proud he was). Endeavor came by as well to congratulate you and Hawks.

“Yeah. All there is left now is to meet you,” You murmur as Hawks stands up.

Dabi gets a close look at the baby’s squishy face. He wants to say it’s hideous as a joke (he was planning on how to do joke about it though) but he couldn’t. The baby was actually cute. However, to his absolute horror, Hawks starts to proceed to give the baby to him.

“What the fuck. What if I drop it?”

You answer in a sleepy voice. “Drop her and I will personally send you to hell.”

“Her… What name did you guys come up with?”

Hawks answers without hesitation. “Tomato.”

Dabi physically freezes and looks up before seeing the stupid grin on Hawks’ face. He turns to you and you smile a gentle smile and give up the true answer. “Takara, it means treasure. Takami Takara.”

“I’ll take the chair. I’ll hold her while you guys rest up for a bit.”

You thank him and Hawks silently thanks him before showing off his severely bruised hand that you no doubt, destroyed when pushing during labor.

It is a pain Hawks would gladly go over again and endure for you because you are everything to him. You and your beautiful daughter mean the world to him and he would go through this life a million times if it meant having the two of you again.

[wordupcomics]

Where are the rest of the villains in this AU? :0

So I've actually answered this question before, and was just gonna link you to the post....but I can't seem to find it so....guess I'll be answering this again...(I honestly wouldn't care if there weren't enough villains to fill a college campus 🤦‍♀️)

So a lot of this is repeated from the last post, wherever it is now 😂 but I believe I expanded on several of these villains too.

First let's cover all the villains as a whole. They are all no longer villains! Tobey went good at around 14 and ended up unintentionally inspired a lot of villains to slowly do the same. The last few villains gave up crime when WordGirl retired because they didn't feel like crime would be the same without WordGirl coming to stop them. A few years after Tobey went good, when several villains had already gone good, Two Brains and Tobey teamed up to create the Anti-Villain Association (AVA), which was intended to be a place where former villains and criminals could talk out their issues with other former villains so that they wouldn't turn back to crime. It's still running to this day and they meet once a week at Two Brains's old lair. They don't just keep it to their meetings, they also have fun functions and activities. For the most part the city doesn't think twice about the AVA, but you know there are always those people who don't trust others, and these types of people are convinced the AVA is simply a cover up, that all the former villains are still villains and are gathering to plan a teamed take over of the city or world. The AVA generally ignores these people. Many of each villains' respective weapons were destroyed after going good, but some weapons still remain for different reasons. Some weapons are nice to have for an emergency (Two Brains has rays that don't hurt people, just trap their feet with spray cheese, a nice thing to keep around in the event of a burglary), some weapons have uses in every day life (when making dozens of sandwiches at once, Chuck's condiment ray comes in handy), some felt it was wrong to destroy them for no reason if they weren't hurting anyone or anything (Tobey's robots who weren't destroyed by WordGirl are happily living in a very large cabin DEEP in the woods, Tobey didn't feel right about destroying them, they are practically sentient!) and some the villains felt were too dangerous to destroy (Mr. Big had more advanced mind control tech that he and Leslie were worried would send out a mind control signal if destroyed, rather than take the risk, they simply locked them up under high security.)

Now let's get into each AVA member (well I mean i guarantee I'll forget people, but I'm gonna try and if I missed a specific former villian you want to know about let me know):

Two Brains- The Steven brain was especially inspired by Tobey's actions, and wanted to be a good guy again. However he knew keeping the mouse brain at bay would be a challenge, and knew his only chance of being good was to find a legal way of getting his cheese fix. So Two Brains started making his own cheese. He even made a cheese aging ray to speed up the process. He ended up being able to make more cheese than he could eat, and turned it into a business. Because he doesn't have to spend actual time on the aging part, he can sell quality cheese for a cheap price, and it's a very successful business. I don't have a company name for his cheese business, but the slogan is "Evilly Delicious!"  His henchmen joined his efforts and still help with the cheese factory. One henchmen, the one with no name, had a daughter (also unnamed because I think I'm funny XD) that Two Brains always considered to be a granddaughter to him. She is aware of her family's past actions and is fine with it. She sometimes will help in the cheese factory but generally prefers not to. Two Brains still co-runs the AVA with Tobey.

Chuck and Butcher- Since they went good around the same time and did the same thing, I'm just doing them together. Chuck went for his dream of running his own sandwich shop, which started as a food truck and now is a restaurant, and Butcher partnered with him and helped him. Chuck makes the sandwiches and figures out the recipes, and Butcher helps and supplies the meat. They buy their cheese from Two Brains. Chuck has a better, albeit not perfect relationship with his mom and brother. Chuck also at one point made T shirts to sell in the sandwich shop...the only people who bought any were the other members of the AVA, and that was only to be supportive. The only people who ever actually wear the T shirts are Butcher and Whammer, and again, it's really only to be supportive and it's not very often they get worn. Butcher got married, had a son, and later had a divorce. The marriage was fine, and the divorce was civil, and he's really good friends with his ex-wife and her new husband. His son's name is Kale and he has powers similar to his dad, except dealing with vegetables. Butcher and Kale don't have the best relationship, and this is really on Kale's part. Kale's very prideful and shuts out help when it's offered to him, even if he needs it (which is often) and Butcher's instinct is always to help his son. Kale has a son of his own who he had at a younger age, and who's mother is currently out of the picture. The son's name is Baker, he's 8 and like his father and grandfather (and great grandfather!) has food related powers, his relating specifically to bread (bread, not pastries! Though Baker does like baking pastries!). Baker loves his grandpa and loves spending time with him. While Kale may shut his dad out when he needs help, it's nothing that would ever make Kale keep Baker away from Butcher.

Granny May- Oh yeah, she's still alive. TBH she's probably the oldest person in the city lol. She simply retired crime upon her family's request. She currently is living in an assisted living facility and is still going strong! She's in a scooter now, but still carries a cane with her for no other reason than to whack people of her own volition.

Mr. Big- Big really struggled with going good, despite wanting to. eventually he figured out his problem was greed and wanting money, so he went in the complete opposite direction and became a minimalist hippie. He currently lives in a trailer park, still has a collection of soft bunny toys and uses a walker now. He and Leslie are good friends.

Leslie- When Big went all hippie, he gave his business to Leslie. She, practically overnight, turned it around into a very successful, but also very sustainable and ethical business. Essentially it's Amazon if they had a heart 🙃

Whammer- Whammer loves his job as a professional demolisher! You need an unsafe building torn down? Call Whammer and he'll wham it down! Remodeling your kitchen and need it gutted first? Call Whammer, he'll be happy to wham your kitchen! Snow covering the ground and need the roads cleared? Call Whammer with caution cause he might accidentally pile all the snow against the buildings, trapping everyone inside, but damn those roads sure will be whammed clear!

Amazing Rope Guy- ARG got decent at rope tricks and is now an entertainer. He will certainly not be considered for America's Got Talent but if you want to entertain children at a birthday party and are on a budget, he's your guy! Becky and Tobey used to call him for every one of Theo's birthday parties (to support him) until Theo politely requested they stop. Now he's being hired for Julie's parties.

Lady Redundant Woman- over the years she moved up in her copier place, and eventually had done every position there. Now knowing how to do every position required in a copier store, she opened her own store and her copies are the employees. It's perfect because no matter what, she always has the EXACT right amount of workers, and technically she's the only one working so she can keep all the money for herself or her business (corrupt business people, don't get any ideas!). Dave visits her often and is so proud of her. She hates this. But she sure does love her copy store!

Ms. Question- She got hired onto the police force as a professional interrogator. As you can imagine, she's VERY good at her job. She doesn't even use her powers most of the time. That being said, if it was a severe crime like a murder and the person just wasn't talking or she had reason to believe they were lying or withholding details, she would be happy to use her powers, but most of the time she refuses to use her powers on others.

Learnerer- Is a detective! He watches suspects and learns their habits and can easily detect clues that will tell him exactly who it was if it was someone he's observed. He works with Ms. Question often and they're actually a pretty good team. How's that for a team up?

Victoria Best- When her and her brother were teenagers, they were taken away from their parents and put into a foster family. At first neither of them were happy for obvious reasons, they were just taken away from their parents and home. However, while Victor stayed loyal to his parents' wishes and refused to believe that they should have been taken away, Victoria soon began to see their parents for who they really were, and her own past actions for what they really were. She joined the AVA and made an effort to change, encouraging her brother to let go of their parents' control. She currently has no contact with her biological parents, and sees her foster parents regularly. She has one daughter who she loves deeply and always encourages her to just have fun with things. Try everything and fail with pride. Victoria's daughter sees Victoria's foster parents as grandparents. Victoria visits her brother somewhat regularly for small talk, sometimes she'll try to convince him to join the AVA, but she's learned to not push it. She really just sees him to stay in touch, her daughter has never meant Victor, and while Victoria would love for her daughter and brother to meet, she refuses to let them until Victor starts making an effort to be better. She still has hope her brother will come to his senses one day. Victoria runs a daycare, and did so because she wanted to be able to catch warning signs of poor parenting early in life so the children don't have to suffer in a bad household for as long as she had to.

Eileen- Inspired by, I think it was one of those "The Time I..." commercials Disney Channel used to do, Eileen learned that many people don't have the resources to have as nice birthdays as she does. She felt bad and started donating things to charities so people could have as wonderful of birthdays she always wanted to have every damn day. She currently runs her own charity, and if someone seems just a little too greedy, Eileen goes all hulk on them and turns into the Birthday Girl. People usually listen after that.

Hal- Hal sells his old blueprints for weapons to the cops so they can get a lead, and might even work undercover at times to sell current villains crappy weapons that allow them to get caught.

Coach- Instead of coaching new villains on how to be villains, Coach coaches newcomers to the AVA on the basics of staying good when you just want to commit a crime.

Seymour- Started  a Youtube series called "Can You Spot the Scam?" where he exposes scams around the city and gives advice on how to spot them and avoid them. What he's learned from this is: people are not very good at spotting scams.

Inviso-Bill and Big Left Hand Guy- Married. They got married before going good and before WordGirl retired. AVA members and current villains and WordGirl were all invited to the wedding. They spent a little bit of time as a married criminal duo before retiring. They still don't really know what they should do with themselves as good guys, they both sort of hop from job to job. But they are happy none the less!

Rhyme and Reason- Retired after WordGirl did, just didn't feel right to continue crime without her. They are in a QPR and like Inviso-Bill and BLHG don't really know what to do with themselves, but are happy just to have each other and the AVA

Okay I'm probably missing people, so again if your curious about someone in particular that I missed, let me know!

[mercuryislove]

Don’t hate me but… I kinda want you to answer all of the deep dive WIP asks 🥺 if that’s unreasonable tho, just 2, 9, and 10 please!

I am SORRY for the delay!!! i answered every question for BOTH projects so you're in for like.... several thousand words of shit that makes absolutely no sense, but i hope you you enjoy it! :)

1. Who are two characters that don't like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?

White Crane: okay this is hard because like. so many people do not like each other. (I know I made a post once about how terrible it would be to be one of twenty-eight people that have the power of dead gods but are trapped in stupid human bodies and you're all a thousand years old and hate each other so so so so so much because you all SUCK.) But for the sake of simplicity, I will talk about Ciaran and Sihla who never got along but only played nice to keep Anwei happy. They absolutely do NOT put aside their differences lmao once everything kind of, um, blows up between the three of them, all they want to do is KILL each other. She makes it her life's goal to make him suffer, and he basically loses his sanity in the process of trying to find a way to kill her for good. The beef is unbelievable. ANYWAY, what they reveal about each other is that Ciaran is not nearly as innocent in anything as he likes to pretend and Sihla is not as guilty as everyone says she is. I mean, she is still a terrible person in many ways, but that does not excuse the things he did to her all those years ago. She hates him for many, many good reasons.

Old Blood: Andhira HATES the entire Ekion family, but specifically the oldest son (who does not have an official name yet.... oops). He doesn't much care for her either but is usually too busy trying to better his social standing to worry too much about her. Except when they're in the same room together (which happens semi-regularly because her brother is kind of in love with him lmao). They hate each other for the exact same reason and it's that they're both SO arrogant. They look down on everyone around them (which in Andhira's case is like. fair. She's the firstborn of the two most powerful people on the planet, and the only person that comes close to that level of power is her twin brother who was born a mere fourteen minutes after her) but think the other is completely unjustified in their actions. Really all it reveals to a reader is that they both kind of suck and need to get over themselves because all that behavior does is make people resent you. They only put aside their differences because she does kind of need his help once or twice, but they would gladly spit in each other's face and/or push each other down a flight of stairs in the name of pettiness.

--

2. What do you hope your readers will take away from your wip? Is there an intentional theme to the story?

These can be answered together! I started writing these stories because I wanted to have fun but they've both kind of morphed into a long-winded way of saying that like. it's okay to be messed up and hate yourself and have major internal struggles because there are people who still love you. I KNOW it doesn't sound like that from uhhhhhh literally everything I've ever said about this stuff but bear with me. The BIG theme is that love is EVERYTHING. All kinds of love. It's the reason to keep on going. You are never alone, even strangers can love you in their own way, etc etc etc etc. Also gay love fucking prevails always and forever.

--

3. What do you love most about your protagonist?

Yixing is funny and weird and definitely a horse girl and he kind of sucks sometimes because he's stubborn as hell and has terrible people skills and maybe also a drinking problem, but he is kind and empathetic and despite the absolute hell he's lived through, he still sees the good in people and knows that it's easy to make mistakes and that most people deserve second chances in life. Also I like him because he is without a doubt the ideal man and I made him that way on purpose. And god I wish we could drink together. I'm talking stumbling drunk, crying on the bathroom floor, please-hold-my-hair-i'm-about-to-throw-up kind of drinking. We would have a great time being stupid together I think.

Vera is resilient and mean and stubborn and cold and off-putting and hard to get to know, and she sucks for those reasons but it's also why I love her so much. She has also lived through hell and it didn't make her try to see the good in people like Yixing does. It just made her bitter and resentful. She warms up over time, but she fights tooth and nail against it. I also love her so much because she is the archetype of like. the washed up former prodigy that has to return sort of against her will to her old life, and she realizes that she misses it in some ways but also remembers exactly why she left. I would Not want to drink with her (because she doesn't drink anymore), but I would love to take one of her art classes.

--

4. Is there anything in the story that is implied but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?

White Crane: This is hard because I'm so invested in my own shit that it feels obvious to me, but I try to lay out a little candy trail that tells the reader that Ciaran and Anwei are Not What They Seem right from the start. It’s hard to explain without specific examples but it’s in the way they talk, they way they interact with other people, the way certain things they say don’t line up, etc etc etc. And there is a Big Hint of what will happen to Ciaran in the second and third installment, but idk if that counts. Also there are definitely implications that Yixing is trans but that's neither here nor there (honestly I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not he should be explicitly trans or if it should be left to reader interpretation because well... I don’t know if I'm capable of writing the nuance of transness because I'm not trans despite my complex and confusing relationship with gender but I'm also not a thirty-something year old Asian man NOR am I a god NOR am I a former vampire hunter NOR am I like. any of the things I write about other than a mean lesbian so. who knows?)

Old Blood: TRUE FANS already know this one, but regular degular readers that haven't participated in funny question friday or read my random late night posting would not immediately know that Josef and the Sovereign were once involved. Basically the only characters in the story that know are Josef, Luka, the Sovereign himself, and Tahire. But there are definitely some hints peppered throughout conversations and perhaps some photos and trinkets that Josef has kept after all this time... It has like no weight on the events of the story but I just think it's fun. Once again I am way too invested to know if it's easy to pick up on or not but I think it takes some theorizing about maybe? Other than that there aren’t any significant secrets.

--

5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does the backstory affect the narrative?

White Crane: this is unfair because some of the characters are almost a thousand years old and some of them are like. 35. I DO have a full timeline written out of the thousand years of history that Ciaran and Anwei have lived through, if that counts as an answer. Like it doesn't have every single day and year, but it has all the big events for sure. Barring that, Yixing definitely has a pretty complex backstory. The man gets around lol and I try (and maybe fail?) to make him seem not too complex initially but then things get revealed and you learn more about him and are like “oh my god no wonder this man has Problems.” Also if he was like. “normal” and perhaps “well-adjusted” the story would not exist at all because he is the way he is and makes some of the stupid decisions he does because of his weird little life.

Old Blood: ONCE AGAIN, this is unfair because the Sovereign is like older than god. And Vera is 37. But like. I haven't fleshed him or any of the old ass vampires out nearly as much as Vera so there's your answer I guess? And I guess the important things are known from the start (that she was a prodigy, that she retired because terrible shit happened and she couldn't handle it, that she suffers from significant ptsd because of it, etc), but there is a lot of detail that doesn't come out until much later when she has to confront her Feelings (ewww feelings). Uh... the backstory affects the narrative because it wouldn't exist at all if Vera wasn't plagued by her fucked up blood nightmares lol

--

6. Which two characters have the most complicated relationship? How does their relationship develop over time?

White Crane: Ciaran and Anwei totally. They love each other because they're brother and sister and were all the other had for a VERY long time (and even when they were still uh mortal, they relied on each other constantly), but also they hate each other because they're brother and sister. You know how it is with siblings. I love my brother and sister to pieces but I can't imagine being immortal and having to put up with the both of them for all eternity (sorry guys if you are reading this somehow.... I love you but we are all so annoying god bless). They handled their newfound godhood very, very, very differently and it kind of colors their relationship for the rest of time. There were times where they were extremely codependent and other times where they didn't speak to each other for DECADES. At the start of our story, they're on much better terms and have buried all their hatchets, but it doesn't take much for that to change....

Old Blood: Probably Vera and Andhira? They're only brought together because of their shared fucked up blood nightmares, and neither of them like that thought. They both resent the other for everything they are, and Vera is pretty much completely hostile to Andhira about it for a long time (and Andhira is only just barely cordial lol), but obviously a significant part of the plot revolves around them like. falling in love so they DO get over it after a while :)

--

7. What is the most heart-wrenching scene in your wip? Why?

White Crane: When Yixing fucking DIES. I feel like this one should be self-explanatory. But I mean if you would like further explanation, it's unpleasant and slow and agonizing and nobody can do anything to stop it (haha....... unless?) so Ciaran gets to hold him for a long time and feel really bad about it lol

Old Blood: idk if there are any really heart-wrenching scenes but there are definitely some miserable and uncomfortable scenes like where Vera relives in vivid detail the days that she witnessed the gruesome deaths of her young apprentice and her last lover. They're upsetting because those are the two days that basically ruined her life (and one was the final straw that sent her spiraling completely out of control) and it's painful to watch her have to live with the guilt of what happened even if it wasn't her fault.

--

8. What is a song that you associate with your wip? Explain.

White Crane: not to be basic but absolutely without a doubt in my stupid mind “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears lol it's because uh. well. Everybody wants to rule the world right? Basically way back in 2019 when I was crafting the ideas for the dnd campaign that became this thing instead, I was definitely having a metal gear moment (honestly I’m about to have a metal gear moment NOW lol) and was listening to a lot of like. mgs adjacent music and latched onto this song (and also promises, promises by naked eyes lmao) as some like thematic element. Like my brain making amvs. You know how it is. ANYWAY the point is. The concept was originally way different and was supposed to be more about the immediate aftermath of the so-called end of the world (yes Yixing was still there and yes he was still just some guy), and it focused a lot more on power struggles between all of these insane people that were granted godhood in the wake of the dying world. Which........ is something I'd like to write about at some point because it's intriguing in its own way but at the time I was unequipped to write about that when I really just wanted to write about people who are, for all intents and purposes, quite average getting caught up in the batshit drama of higher powers. (fun fact: Ciaran was supposed to be a tyrant king that ran a death cult and Anwei and Yixing were working together to figure out a way to kill him. Which is. Kind of what my dnd campaign is like now lol BASICALLY he's like if Big Boss was unkillable and could also rip souls out of people's bodies and eat them. I absolutely do not remember what this question originally was. Something about a song?)

Old Blood: THIS is the reason it took me so long to answer this whole thing. I thought long and hard and looked through all my playlists and listened to random songs that came to mind but it turns out the song I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time. DUH. It's “Golden Light” by Twin Shadow :) In my humble homo interpretation, I think it's a song about being afraid to fall in love and. Well. That's the whole point. Also #spoilers but the first time Vera sees Andhira and is like “oops I think I have feelings” is when they've just arrived at Andhira's home and the sun is rising and she looks over at her as they stand at the top of a hill and she has her eyes closed to the sun and she's bathed in golden light and OOUGGGGHGHHH poetic cinema. (honorable mention goes to “Groove is in the Heart” by Deee-lite because it’s quintessential early 90s music that Vera would be super into)

--

9. What does your protagonist want most? What would they do to achieve this? What is something they wouldn't do to achieve this?

White Crane: Yixing wants to be happy for once. Like actually really happy instead of just. getting by. There's a scene where they're making wishes for the next seasons during the summer solstice and someone asks what he wants and he's like “uh I guess I want to still be alive at the end of the year?” and the other person is like “isn't that what everyone wants? Raise the fucking bar please. What do you REALLY want?” and he's stands there for a really long time and thinks about it before finally saying “I think I just want to be happy for once” and everyone else is like. wow. Way to kill the fucking mood dude. Anyway. He has had fleeting moments of happiness in his life but wants nothing more than to feel that way forever. It's kind of hard to say what he wouldn't do for that because like. there's not really much you CAN do in the first place, so I feel like there's even less you couldn't do. I guess he wouldn't like sell his soul to the devil or something lmao (though by being involved with Ciaran he's pretty much halfway there)

Old Blood: to be left alone. Vera just wants a normal life. She really truly does want to pretend that none of the horrible shit happened to her and that she was never a world-famous hunter. And she wants to teach art classes and live a quiet life!!! I mean, she is already mostly doing that exact thing when we first meet her, but obviously she has some hindrances (aka fucked up blood nightmares). She is begrudgingly helping Andhira because she assumes that will fix her problem and that she'll be able to get to that quiet living as soon as all is said and done. The only thing she really wouldn't do to get what she wants is like... live somewhere far away from Josef and Luka lol She likes having them close by more than she wants to be left alone.

--

10. Within your story's world, were there any events that impacted every character (or most characters)? How would they be different if this event never happened? (Alternatively, erase an important even from on character's backstory and imagine where they'd be now.)

White Crane: well. If the stupid old gods didn't all kill themselves and almost end the world then I guess none of this story would exist lol But the actual answer is like. If Yixing had never run out on his girlfriend of ten years then he wouldn't have moved across the continent to Jengmi and wouldn't have made a name for himself way out there and wouldn't have been scouted and recruited and wouldn't have met Ciaran or Anwei and wouldn't have gotten in the middle of the batshit grudge between a bunch of ancient petty gay people and wouldn't have DIED and wouldn't have made one of the ancient petty gay people in particular lose his grip on his humanity via a lust for power in a desperate attempt to guarantee his safety and wouldn't have been the reason that tens of thousands of people die in his name and wouldn't have accidentally set off a chain of events that resulted in him having to hunt down and kill the Actual God that started it all in a fit of jealous rage. So like. maybe he should have just gone through with the wedding. All things considered, his life would have been way less stressful.

Old Blood: uhhh, that's tough because the stuff that happens only really has any effect on the mortal characters (I mean yeah people still try to kill the Sovereign but they're too dumb to know the ACTUAL way to kill him.... haha unless??), so it would be more like a what if Vera didn't witness the violent deaths of both her apprentice and her lover and have a full blown nervous breakdown and abandon her career? Well...... I think most things in the plot would transpire more or less the same, except she would be WAY less pissed off about it. In fact, she would probably be hyped as hell to get the chance to make the acquaintance of the Sovereign's family like Josef had before her. The thought of Vera being upbeat and not a sleep-deprived asshole that hates being dragged back to her old life..... ew. Not that I enjoy her suffering but you know what I mean. It just wouldn't be the same.

--

11. What is something from your wip that you just really want to ramble about?

Are you sure you're ready for this. This is going to be so so so so long I'm sorry in advance. It's Saturday night and I'm alone and kind of sad so I'm just going to let loose.

As I hone down plot elements for next two installments in my little trilogy, I have kind of become obsessed with the passage of time and how different it must feel to someone that, well, lives forever. One of the ways I'd written (that has since been kind of changed) for Yixing to start to figure out what Ciaran really is was that he would casually be looking through his bookshelf and find an old photograph of Ciaran, Anwei, and their mom standing backstage together after one of his performances. And when he eventually asks Ciaran about it, he gets upset because how dare you touch the one thing I have left to remember my mother? To remember what my life used to be like? There are so many names and faces and places and foods and sensations that I've forgotten in the 940 years I've lived like this and I would give anything I have to see any of it just one more time because I didn't know that the last time I would ever speak to my mom we would have an argument on the phone about how I need to go to the temple and pray for good fortune on my birthday, or that the last time I would ever see my best friend would be at 6am when we both came into the studio to practice and he asked me to go out to breakfast and I said no because I thought a nap would be more important. And there are so many people that I've watched die whose names I never learned and whose faces I forgot the moment I turned away, and there are so many others that I loved so dearly that I had to leave behind because they grew old and I didn't. And I have lived lifetimes in solitude to keep myself a secret from other people and I have died more than any person should ever have to die and I have witnessed atrocities no one should ever witness and I hate everything about this life so much but I love everything about this life so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I think I would give it all away in an instant if only to remember the scent of my mother's favorite perfume and I think I would give it all away in an instant if it meant I didn't have to watch you turn to dust in my arms.

ANYWAY. I think a lot about the agony of loving things that aren't permanent and how it really DOES drive you mad because lately I have been unbelievably nostalgic for certain things that weren't even that long ago but..... I didn't appreciate them at the time and I feel so guilty about it. (And like. I too would give up my entire life to be able to remember the scent of my grandmother's favorite perfume.) And all my pent-up sadness is for things that only happened in my childhood. I have pictures and videos and other people to share those memories with, but what does it feel like to be one of very few people that watched the entire world fall apart and rebuild itself and have nothing to hold onto from that time? What does it feel like to foster dozens of generations of children and outlive every single one of them? What does it feel like to have only fragments of memories of entire lifetimes? How lonely is it? I mean, Ciaran and Anwei have each other and that makes a difference but it still has to be the most isolating feeling. And then there's the pain that comes with memories that have faded or otherwise become hazy. I doubt either of them remember their father's face. They hadn't seen him in years even before it all happened. If it wasn't for that single photo he has, they wouldn't remember their mother's face either. Do they still remember her name? Or her birthday? Do they remember anyone else? Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, coworkers? If they do, do they even want to talk about it? One thing I worry about in my own life (and this is how I know I have Problems) is that I'm so afraid that talking about memories will alter them somehow. There are so many things that I don't even like to share because once the words are spoken the little vhs tape that has all my memories has been recorded over, even if it's just by a single frame. Something about it has been changed forever each time I talk about it. Do they feel the same way and keep things to themselves instead of sharing the sadness? I think maybe they used to talk about the “old days” or whatever much more often back in the past, but as the years went by.... they just learned to keep it to themselves.

I think maybe I have a lot of anxiety about the passage of time and of being forgotten!

Anyway again. The passage of time drives me insane. And I think it would make me even more insane if I had been chosen to carry the mantle of a dead god and would live forever. My dog died a year ago and I still cry like every single day thinking about her. If I was doomed to live forever I don't know how the sadness wouldn't swallow me whole! No wonder all the people in this book are fucking CRAZY!!

And don't even get me started on the Sovereign lol he's like “oh boo-hoo you've lived for not even a thousand years? Bitch they hadn't invented fucking GLASS yet when I was born. The horse wasn't domesticated yet. Cry harder!!”