#even though it means he cannot protect him along the way

[winterarmyy]

He Hates Me, Doesn't He?

A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.

Summary: You hurt Bucky's girl, and now he hates you.

Pairing: tfatws!bucky x female!reader

Words: 6.7k++

Warnings: angstyyyyyyyyy, but with happy ending because I cannot live in agony. miscommunication galore. 'I want to strangle bucky's girlfriend.' soft reader, cold/mean bucky. bucky should've grovel more. horrible attempt of writing verbal arguments. nothing much but pain.

Inspiration: I remember reading a bucky fic years ago and I like the pain that it caused me to feel. Idk why the pain suddenly came back to me lately. So, this is my take on the same idea. I haven't able to find it. But when I do, I'll reblog it in my another acc!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

y/n had always been a steady presence in the Avengers, known for her gentle demeanour and unwavering support. Her relationship with Bucky Barnes had blossomed from a quiet friendship into something deeper. When they first met, Bucky was reserved and hesitant, still grappling with his past as the Winter Soldier. y/n, with her gentle nature and patient understanding, slowly helped him come out of his shell.

She remembered the sleepless nights they spent together when they were on the run with Steve and Sam. They'd share stories, and sometimes just sit in silence, her quiet company offering solace to Bucky's restless mind. The unspoken bond growing stronger with each passing day. Bucky looked up to her, finding comfort in her presence, and in turn, he became fiercely protective of her. They'd watch each other's backs during missions, their synergy on the battlefield a testament to their deep connection. 

And somewhere along the line, she fell for him. She had fallen for Bucky's resilience and vulnerability, though she never expected more, knowing that a relationship was not what he needed right now. At least, that's what she thought. Little did she know, Bucky had always loved her; ever since the day she offered him tea the first night they were on the run to Wakanda. Maybe she was just simply aloof, or maybe Bucky’s flirting skills weren’t translated the way he wanted, but they never crossed the line between friendship and ‘something more’.

Then when Jen came into the picture, it felt like things started to change. Jen was bold and confident, and it wasn't long before she caught Bucky's eye. Their relationship seemed to spring up overnight, and y/n, though hurt, tried to be happy for Bucky. Jen was supportive and caring, or so it seemed, and Bucky deserved happiness.

Now, as planned the team was instructed to moved into the Avenger compound for a few months to train new recruits. It had only been the first month but surely it was jam packed with endless of rigorous training sessions. The original team—y/n, Sam, Bucky, Jen, Clint, and his mentee Kate Bishop—were all assigned to train the new recruits, with additional of few agents from different branches coming in to help out.

y/n was heading to the training room; she knew it was way too early but she thought that if she didn’t get out of bed now, she might not even get up at all. To her surprise, she was not the first one. She saw a few new trainees were already on the way to the training room; some of them greeted her a good morning. She simply smiled at their enthusiasm. 

The moment she entered the area, she overheard voices coming from the corner of the room. She paused, recognizing Jen's voice, which was raised and laced with contempt. Curiosity piqued, y/n stepped closer, staying just out of sight behind the white board. In hindsight, it might seem weird that she was sneaking around to eavesdrop on Jen, but she couldn't help it.

Initially, y/n liked Jen. She tried to welcome her into their tight-knit group and even supported her relationship with Bucky. However, as time went on, Jen began acting strange. The things she said about Bucky sometimes sounded condescending. She would make comments like, "It's amazing how well he's adjusted, considering his past," or, "It's great that he's trying so hard to be normal." The way she acted often differed from her words, with Jen giving Bucky disapproving glances or sighing heavily whenever he mentioned something from his troubled past.

She had noticed these discrepancies and started to feel uneasy around Jen. She couldn't shake the feeling that Jen’s support was just a facade. Now, standing behind the whiteboard, she strained to hear the conversation.

"…and honestly, I don’t understand how anyone can trust him," Jen was saying. "I mean, sure, he's got that whole 'reformed hero' thing going on now, but let’s be real. He was Hydra’s pet assassin for decades. The things he’s done? It’s unforgivable."

Her friend, another agent from a different branch, nodded hesitantly. "But you’re dating him, aren’t you? Doesn’t that mean you trust him?"

Jen laughed, a cold, humourless sound. "Dating him? Please. I’m in it for the fame and the perks. Have you seen the way people look at us? Besides, he’s hot, I’ll give him that. But trust him? Never. People like him don’t change. They’re broken. He's a monster, and he always will be. It’s only a matter of time before he snaps again."

y/n felt a surge of anger rise within her. How dare Jen talk about Bucky like that? 

Memories flooded her mind, flashing back to Bucky’s nightmare-plagued nights. She remembered the prominent dark circles under his eyes, the haunted look that never quite left his face. The silent pain he endured, adjusting to a modern world where he felt like an outsider, magnified when Steve left. She could still see the wary, suspicious glances people cast in his direction, the whispers behind his back when they first ventured out. Before the fame he acquired as he regained his reputation after the Flag-Smasher incident.

She had witnessed his hardships firsthand—the nightmares that woke him in a cold sweat, the moments of crippling doubt and self-loathing. But she had also seen his triumphs, the small victories that slowly built his confidence. The first time he laughed freely in her presence, the genuine smile that lit up his face when he finally allowed himself to relax. She cherished those moments, the sunshine that broke through the clouds of his tortured past.

All of this came rushing back, breaking the chains on the Pandora's box inside of her. The fury she felt wasn't just for the disrespect to Bucky; it was for every ounce of pain he had suffered, every moment of joy he had fought so hard to reclaim. Her eyes hardened with resolve as she stepped forward, her voice steady but cold. "Take that back," she demanded, her presence startling both Jen and her friend.

Jen turned slowly, a smirk spreading across her face as she saw y/n. She knew from the beginning about the cute little crush y/n had on Bucky. To be frank, everybody sort of knew about it, except for Bucky somehow. 

"Or else what, y/n?" she replied with a mocking tone. "You’re quite pathetic aren’t you? You think that I can’t see how you’ve been eye-fucking my boyfriend all this time? Come on, now. Backing him up would not give you a leeway into his pants, y/n."

y/n’s face went through a range of emotions—shock, embarrassment, and then seething anger. Jen’s words were like poison, each one landing like a punch to the gut.

Jen continued, confidence oozing out of her cocky demeanor, "Besides, we all know that I can easily beat you in a fight, doll" 

The use of doll—a nickname Bucky had given y/n from day one, when Steve had quite literally kidnapped Bucky from the government—made y/n blood boil. Hearing it from Jen felt like a personal attack, a deliberate attempt to undermine everything she shared with Bucky.

And it was true that Jen had graduated top of her batch from the Avengers program and had countless successful missions under her belt, but y/n knew this wasn't about accolades or abilities. This was about something deeper, something more personal.

y/n clenched her fists, taking a step closer. "You think this is about who can fight better?" she said, her voice shaking with restrained fury. "This is about respect. You don’t get to talk about Bucky like that."

Jen scoffed, a cruel smile on her lips. "Respect? For that monster? You’re delusional. He’s a ticking time bomb, a liability to the team. And deep down, everyone knows it."

y/n’s patience snapped. In one swift motion, she slapped Jen hard across the face, the sound echoing through the room. Jen stumbled and fell to the ground, shock and anger flashing across her features.

She stalks forward like a predator cornering its prey, "I’m just done with your lies and your insults. Bucky deserves better than you." Jen instinctively crawled backwards towards the centre of the room. Seeing that she got the attention of the few new recruits she regained her composure, smirked again, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. "You’re pathetic, y/n," she taunted. "Defending a lost cause." her voice was loud enough for y/n to hear but quiet enough that the others might not be able to decipher her words.

At that moment, Bucky and Sam burst into the room, followed closely behind by a new recruit who alerted them of the incident. Bucky’s eyes widened as he took in the scene—Jen on the ground, y/n standing over her, shaking with rage. "What’s going on here?" His demand was completely ignored as y/n’s mind was hyper-focused on the wrath bubbling within her. 

"Get up," y/n demanded, her voice shaking with wrath. Bucky’s momentarily froze as he watched the confrontation escalate before him. y/n, usually so composed, was now a whirlwind of rage, her eyes blazing as she stood over a trembling Jen. Bucky had always known her to be fierce in battle, but this was different—this was raw, unbridled anger. "I'm going to make you regret every word you said. So get on your fucking feet before I rip it off you.." 

Jen, still on the ground, looked up at y/n with wide, teary eyes, playing the role of the victim to perfection. "Please, I didn't– I don’t know what you're…," she whimpered, casting a fearful glance at Bucky and Sam, who had just arrived on the scene.

Bucky's mind raced. Why was she doing this? He stepped forward, trying to diffuse the situation. "y/n, hey!" he shouted, his voice a mix of confusion and anger. "What are you doing?"

Completely ignoring him, "Get up," y/n snarled, her eyes blazing with intensity. "Get up and fight me. I’ll show you who the real monster is." Jen looked up, her hand on her cheek, disbelief mingling with her fury. "You’re crazy," she spat, scrambling to her feet.

Her response was only a furious shout. "I said, get up!"

"y/n, are you crazy?!" Bucky yelled, moving quickly to intervene. He grabbed her wrist, his grip tight and unforgiving.

She turned her fierce gaze towards Bucky; her expression momentarily faltering at the hurt in his eyes. "Bucky, you don’t understand, she--" she began, but the words caught in her throat as she saw Jen's smirk flicker for just a second.

"There's nothing to understand," Bucky snapped. "You’re acting insane."

y/n looked at him, her eyes filled with hurt and frustration. "Bucky, you have to listen—"

But he cut her off, his expression hard. "I don’t care! You hurt her, y/n. You think I don’t see that bruise on her cheek?!" Bucky shouted, his face contorted with anger. His eyes, usually filled with a gentle warmth when he looked at y/n, were now blazing with fury. "This isn’t like you, y/n. I’ve noticed that you’ve never liked Jen, and I don’t know why. But this? This is just immature and reckless." His metal grip on y/n's wrist was tighter than he intended. She winced, her eyes watering not just from the pain but from the sting of his words. 

y/n had never seen Bucky like this. His anger was palpable, radiating off him in waves. It was like being hit with a physical force, and she felt her heart breaking under the weight of it. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away, her anger flaring even hotter. "Bucky, you don’t understand," she tried to explain, but the words caught in her throat.

Bucky’s expression remained hard, the force on her wrist tightening painfully. "You need to grow up, y/n," he seethed, his disappointment evident in his tone. "You're always causing drama lately, and it needs to stop. Jen’s been there for me in ways you haven’t, and I won’t tolerate you attacking her like this."

The words cut through her like a knife. Her heart shattered at his harshness, at the realization that Bucky thought so little of her. She yanked her wrist free, feeling the sting of his grip lingering. "Fine," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Believe what you want."

Without another word, she turned and stormed out, leaving Bucky standing there, torn between confusion and guilt.

A gnawing sense of remorse tugging at him, but he couldn't shake the confusion and anger clouding his mind. "Jen, are you okay?" he asked, helping her to her feet.

Jen, tucking herself to his side, managed to summon a few tears, looking up at Bucky with a feigned innocence. "I don’t know why she hates me so much," she murmured, playing her part perfectly.

Bucky fingers softly traces on her wounded cheek before his gaze switched to y/n’s retreating form, a knot tightening in his chest. He wasn’t sure why those mean words had spouted out of his lips. Was it because he saw Jen injured on the ground and his protective instincts kicked in? Or was it because Jen had been whispering doubts in his ear about y/n’s loyalty, making him question his longtime friend? 

The truth was, Bucky had always relied on y/n’s unwavering support. She had been his rock through the toughest times, and seeing her so furious, so hurt, shook him to his core. Yet, in the heat of the moment, he had lashed out, unable to reconcile the image of Jen crying with the fierce anger that radiated from y/n.

As Bucky comforted Jen, his mind was a storm of conflicting emotions. He couldn't shake the image of hurt on her face, nor could he ignore the nagging feeling that he was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.

On the side, Sam was only able to watch the scene play out silently, a frown creasing his brow. He had a feeling there was more to this story, and he intended to get to the bottom of it.

As weeks passed, the rift between Bucky and y/n deepened, fueled by Jen's cunning manipulation. In a private conversation, Jen planted seeds of doubt in Bucky's mind, suggesting that y/n harboured hidden resentments and intentions.

"I hate to say it, Bucky, but maybe she's not who we thought she was," Jen insinuated, her voice dripping with false concern. "Maybe she's been hiding her true feelings all along, waiting for the right moment to strike." 

Bucky, already vulnerable and confused after the incident in the training room, absorbed Jen's words like poison, allowing them to fester and take root in his mind. He began to view y/n through a new lens, one tainted by suspicion and distrust. This single conversation, filled with subtle manipulations and insidious suggestions, was all it took to fracture the bond between Bucky and y/n, leaving Bucky cold and distant towards the one person who had always stood by his side.

Most days he would avoid eye contact with her during team meetings, barely acknowledging her presence when they were forced to interact. In training sessions, his instructions to her were curt and clipped, lacking the warmth and camaraderie they once shared. y/n felt each of these interactions like a stab to the heart.

She couldn't understand how quickly Bucky had turned against her, how easily he had accepted Jen's version of events without even giving her a chance to explain. The hurt festered inside her, eating away at her sense of self-worth.

Then one night, as y/n sat alone on the rooftop, staring out into the darkness, Sam found her there. He knew this was where she retreated when she needed space to think, to process her emotions. He approached her cautiously, sitting down beside her without a word.

"Why aren't you at dinner, y/n?" Sam finally asked, breaking the silence. He could see the emptiness in her eyes, the weight of her sorrow pressing down on her.

She shook her head, her voice hollow. "Lost my appetite," she muttered, her gaze still fixed on the horizon.

Sam gently prodded, knowing there was more to her withdrawal than just a lack of hunger. "Is it because of what happened the other day at the training room?" he asked softly.

Instantly, her demeanor shifted. Anger flared in her eyes, directed not just at Jen and Bucky, but at the entire situation. "I don't want to talk about it, Sam," she snapped, her frustration bubbling to the surface. But Sam wasn't one to give up easily, especially when he knew how much y/n was hurting. "Come on, y/n," he urged, his voice gentle but insistent. "You can't keep bottling this up. Talk to me."

Her expression softened slightly at Sam's persistence, but the pain still lingered in her eyes. "Seriously, Sam, please just drop it," she pleaded, her voice wavering with emotion.

Sam could see the cracks forming in her facade, the vulnerability seeping through the tough exterior she usually projected. Without a word, he pulled her into a comforting embrace, letting her bury her face against his shoulder.

As she clung to him, her facade finally crumbled. Her lips trembled, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own heartbreak. "Bucky hates me."

Sam held her tighter, offering silent comfort as she grappled with the weight of her sorrow. He knew there were no easy answers, no quick fixes to mend the shattered pieces of y/n's heart. But in that moment, all he could do was be there for her, a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions.

The dim glow of the kitchen's overhead light provided a faint sense of solace in the otherwise silent darkness of the compound. Bucky sat at the wooden table, his tired eyes staring blankly at the cup of untouched tea before him. It was a nightly ritual lately, this dance with sleeplessness and the haunting memories that lurked in the shadows of his mind yet again.

Footsteps broke the stillness, and Bucky's gaze shifted to the entrance of the kitchen. y/n stood hesitantly in the doorway, her presence casting a tentative aura over the room. There was a palpable tension between them, an unspoken weight that hung heavy in the air.

She cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Mind if I join you?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She was expecting Bucky to ignore her completely but he didn’t; Bucky simply shrugged nonchalantly, his guard seemed to flatter. "Suit yourself," he muttered.

As she quietly took a seat opposite him, a heavy silence settled between them. Bucky's thoughts churned with a whirlwind of emotions, each one vying for dominance over the others. His guard seemed to falter in the presence of her tentative yet comforting aura. The weight of his own vulnerability loomed large in his mind, drowning out the anger he had harboured towards her.

As the silence stretched between them, she felt a surge of compassion wash over her. She knew why he was awake at this time. She knew that the tea he brewed was to help him sleep. She was the one who planted that habit to him after all.

And despite everything that had transpired between them, she couldn't bear to see Bucky suffer alone. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she decided to reach out to him, to offer what little comfort she could.

Without a word, y/n rose from her seat and moved to stand behind Bucky's chair. He stiffened at her touch, his muscles tense with apprehension. But as her gentle hands began to massage the tension from his neck, a wave of unexpected relief washed over him.

Her touch was soft and comforting, a stark contrast to the coldness he had grown accustomed to due to Jen’s unwillingness to acknowledge this side of him. She ran her fingers through his hair, coaxing him to relax, to let go of the burdens that weighed heavily on his shoulders. For a brief moment, Bucky allowed himself to forget the walls he had built around his heart. In her presence, her voice, and her touch; he felt a glimmer of hope, a flicker of warmth that he had long since forgotten.

But then, like a sudden gust of wind extinguishing a fragile flame, the weight of Jen's words came crashing back down upon him. Anger flared within him, hot and fierce, directed not only at y/n but at himself for allowing his heart to yearn for her.

He pushed himself away from the table, his movements sharp and abrupt. "I don't need your pity, y/n," he spat, his words laced with bitterness. "Just leave me alone."

With that, he stormed out of the kitchen, leaving y/n alone in the suffocating silence.The disbelief that clouded her thoughts gave way to a searing agony that twisted in her chest. How could he say such things? How could he push her away so callously, after everything they had shared?

y/n buried her face in her hands, her body trembling with the force of her sobs. The weight of her shattered dreams pressed down on her, crushing her spirit beneath its merciless grip. She had never felt so alone, so utterly abandoned by the one person she had trusted above all others.

The pain of losing Bucky, of losing the love that had sustained her through the darkest of times, threatened to consume her whole. Each breath felt like a struggle, each heartbeat a painful reminder of the emptiness that now filled her soul.

In that moment of crushing despair, she couldn't help but believe that Bucky truly hated her. The thought tore through her like a knife, leaving behind a raw, gaping wound that no amount of time or distance could ever hope to heal.

As she sat alone in the suffocating silence of the kitchen, y/n felt the full weight of her heartbreak descend upon her like a tidal wave. She was lost in a sea of pain and sorrow, drowning in the agony of losing someone she had loved so deeply, so completely. And in that moment, she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find her way back to the surface again.

Unbeknownst to her, Bucky lingered just out of sight, his heart heavy with guilt. He wanted to go back, to take back his harsh words and hold her close, to chase away the tears that stained her cheeks. But the poison in his mind was too strong, clouding his judgement and trapping him in a cycle of self-destructive despair. And so, with a heavy heart, he turned and walked away, leaving y/n to cry alone in the darkness.

The mission had already been tense enough, but as y/n found herself face to face with Jen in a location she wasn't supposed to be, the atmosphere crackled with an added layer of hostility. It was as if fate had conspired to place them in this confrontation, and her jaw clenched involuntarily as she braced herself for what was to come.

Jen's presence in that spot was no coincidence, and she knew it. Her suspicions were confirmed as Jen turned to face her, a smirk playing on her lips, a gleam of malice in her eyes. y/n's grip tightened on her weapon, her pulse quickening as she prepared for the verbal assault she knew was coming.

"How does it feel, knowing that Bucky hates you now?" Jen's words sliced through the air like a knife, each syllable carrying the weight of y/n’s deepest fears. It was a direct hit, striking at the core of her insecurities, and for a moment, she felt as though the ground had been ripped out from beneath her feet.

But she refused to let Jen see her falter. With a steely resolve, she squared her shoulders and met Jen's gaze head-on, her expression a mask of defiance. She may have been shaken by Jen's words, but she refused to let them break her.

Ignoring the taunts, she focused on the mission at hand, determined to prove her worth despite Jen's attempts to undermine her. But with each passing moment, the weight of Jen's words hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over y/n’s every move.

It was a battle on two fronts – against the enemy they faced together, and against the doubts that threatened to consume her from within. But she refused to back down, drawing strength from the knowledge that she fought not just for herself, but for the team she believed in with all her heart.

But Jen's relentless barrage of insults made it difficult to concentrate, her words like daggers slicing through y/n’s defenses.

"Aww come on y/n, bet you’re reeling in the loss right now, aren’t you." Jen continued, her voice ice cold. "The Asset’s little lapdog, clinging to him like a lost puppy."

y/n’s temper flared at the insult, her grip tightening on her weapon as she fought to keep her emotions in check. But Jen's mocking laughter only fueled the fire burning within her, pushing her to the brink of her patience. "Shut your mouth, Jen," she growled, her voice low and dangerous. "Or I swear to God, I'll make sure that the team finds your body disassembled in one of these rooms."

Jen simply rolled her eyes, unfazed by her threat. "You love him that much, huh?" y/n had no intention to deny that fact; she does love him, "More than you ever could." her voice was firm and true. Jen’s smirk fell as she scoffed. "Ain't that cute, the Winter Soldier and his little psycho sweetheart."

Before y/n could respond, a voice cut through the tension like a knife, freezing her in place. It was Bucky, his expression dark and stormy as he stepped into view. "What's going on here?" he demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he took in the scene before him.

y/n’s heart sank as she realized that Bucky might have heard everything. She turned around to meet his eyes and his face confirmed her suspicion; he heard it.  Bucky had heard everything – every taunt, every insult, every word exchanged between her and Jen; even the confession of her true feelings. She met his gaze; searching for some sign of understanding of his emotions and the little that she saw was:��disappointment, betrayal and guilt, mirrored back at her in the depths of his stormy blue eyes. 

In that moment, all she wanted to do was pull him into her arms, to pull him away from all the painful memories and hurtful words; so far away that he would forget he had ever been taunted, betrayed, or made to feel less than he was.

Before she could utter a word, let alone take a step towards him, Jen's voice broke through, but it lacked the usual confidence. "Bucky, it's not what you think," she stammered, her eyes darting nervously between Bucky and y/n. "I-I was just..."

y/n’s clenched her jaw, her patience wearing thin as Jen stumbled over her words, unable to come up with a coherent explanation. She could see the confusion and hurt in Bucky's eyes, a reflection of the turmoil raging within her own heart.

"I-I mean," Jen continued, her voice faltering. "I was...um...just trying to...uh..."

But her feeble attempts to justify her actions only served to further incense Bucky. His brow furrowed in anger, his fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to make sense of the situation.

"Enough," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "I don't want to hear any more lies."

y/n’s heart ached as she watched Bucky's expression darken with anger and disappointment. She wanted to explain, to tell him the truth about Jen's betrayal and her own misguided attempt to defend him. But the words caught in her throat, choked by the weight of her guilt and regret.

With a heavy sigh, Bucky turned away, his shoulders slumped with defeat. "Let's just finish the mission," he muttered, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "We'll deal with this later."

As he was about to walk away, y/n noticed a red dot on his chest, the unmistakable mark of a sniper's laser sight. Without thinking twice, she leaped towards him, her body acting as a human shield. Time seemed to slow down as she collided with Bucky, pushing him out of the way.

"y/n, no!" Bucky shouted, his voice filled with panic as her body slumped against his chest.

In the chaos, Jen was nowhere to be seen. She had slipped away, taking shelter and ultimately fleeing the area as she heard multiple footsteps approaching.

Bucky tried to pull up his gun, but it was too late. An array of bullets rained down on them. He felt the searing pain of a few shots piercing his own flesh, but it was nothing compared to the sight of y/n’s body being riddled with bullets. She was hit in the shoulder, wrist, thighs, and other places Bucky couldn't even register.

Rage surged through Bucky like an inferno, obliterating any semblance of restraint. He moved with a deadly precision, his eyes blazing with fury as he unleashed a storm of bullets on the enemy. His movements were swift and unforgiving, every shot finding its mark with brutal accuracy. The enemy fell one by one, their bodies collapsing in lifeless heaps. The air was filled with the deafening sound of gunfire and the acrid smell of gunpowder, but Bucky's focus was unyielding.

Within moments, the room was cleared, the enemies wiped out in a flurry of rage-fueled vengeance.

The adrenaline ebbed away, leaving Bucky standing amidst the carnage, his chest heaving. He turned, and his eyes fell on y/n's crumpled form. The sight of her lying in a pool of her own blood shattered his rage, replacing it with a crushing wave of worry and panic.

"Hang in there. Please," Bucky hastily spoke, his voice trembling. He activated his com line, desperation seeping into his tone. "Guys, we need help. y/n... she's... she's been shot. We need to get out of here right now!" Panic coursed through him as he turned his attention back to y/n, frantically trying to stop the bleeding on her stomach. "y/n, doll…please" he pleaded, watching her hazy gaze. "Don't you dare give up on me now. Come on."

"babydoll, stay with me!" Bucky cried, his voice breaking as he cradled her in his arms. Blood soaked through her clothes, staining his hands. "Please, hang on, you can’t leave yet. I haven't told you... I haven't—" 

Her eyes fluttered open, her breathing shallow and ragged. "It's okay, Bucky," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the chaos. "It's okay. Don't cry." Her shaking hands struggled to move, and with great effort, she managed to cup Bucky's cheek. The gesture was weak but filled with tenderness. "It's okay," she repeated, her fingers trembling against his skin.

"Don't talk like that," Bucky choked out, his own tears mingling with the blood on his face. "You can't.. I haven't told you...please doll..." His voice wavered with the weight of unspoken words and unconfessed feelings. He hadn't told her how much he truly cared for her, how every moment spent away from her felt like an eternity. He hadn't begged for forgiveness for his coldness, his mistakes, and for letting Jen's poison taint his actions. The guilt gnawed at him, each heartbeat a reminder of the words he hadn't said, the emotions he hadn't expressed. 

He pressed her hand harder against his cheek, feeling the warmth of her touch anchoring him in the moment.Her hand weakly brushing against his cheek. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured. "I know."

Bucky's heart shattered as he clung to her, feeling her life slipping away. "No, no, no," he muttered desperately. "You can't leave me. Please, y/n. Please."

She smiled faintly, her eyes closing. "I'm here, Bucky. I'm right here."

With a final, shuddering breath, y/n’s consciousness slipped away. Bucky felt a surge of panic, but he knew he had to move. He lifted her limp body, cradling her against his chest as he ran towards the quinjet. Each step was agony, his own injuries slowing him down, but he didn't care. All that mattered was getting y/n to safety.

"Hang on, y/n," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Hang on. I won't let you go."

In the sterile environment of the medical bay, y/n lay unconscious, her body hooked up to various machines that monitored her vital signs. Bucky sat by her bedside, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying. Every beep of the monitor seemed to echo through the silence, a haunting reminder of her fragile state. He held her hand, his thumb gently caressing her bandaged wrist.

Memories of their time together flooded Bucky's mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the connection they shared. He remembered the laughter they had shared, the late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning. He remembered the gentle touch of her hand, the warmth of her smile that never failed to chase away the darkness.

But amidst the memories, there was also pain – the pain of their last conversation, the words left unsaid and the choices left unmade. Bucky's throat tightened as he recalled the day he had walked away from Jen, the air thick with tension and unspoken truths.

His voice was cold and final. "You almost got her killed, Jen," he had said, his eyes blazing with anger. "Stay away from us. Stay away from me."

Jen's eyes had flashed with anger, her words cutting like knives as she lashed out in frustration. "And what, you think you'll find someone better than me?" she had spat, her voice dripping with venom. "Good luck with that, Bucky. You'll never find anyone who would put up with your baggage."

But Bucky had remained resolute, his decision fueled by a sense of longing and regret that threatened to consume him whole. "Maybe not," he had admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't truly care about me."

Now, as Bucky sat by y/n’s bedside, the weight of his decision bore down on him like a crushing weight. Tears welled in his eyes as he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers trembling with emotion.

"I'm so sorry, babydoll," he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I never meant for any of this to happen. So, please, wake up. I need you."

But y/n remained unconscious, her breathing shallow and weak as she lay before him. And as Bucky watched over her, his heart heavy with worry and regret, he vowed to do whatever it took to bring her back to him, to keep her safe from harm for all eternity.

For in that moment, Bucky realized that he couldn't bear to lose her – not now, not ever. She was his rock, his anchor in a world of uncertainty and pain. And as he held her hand tightly in his own, he prayed with all his heart that she would find her way back to him, to the love and light that had always guided them through the darkness.

The soft hum of machines filled the air as y/n stirred awake, her senses slowly coming back to her. She blinked, disoriented at first, until her gaze fell upon Bucky, who was sleeping soundly in the chair beside her bed. His hands were clasped tightly around hers, his face peaceful in slumber, but she couldn't help but notice the tear stains on his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, the worry lines etched into his forehead.

"How long has it been since?" she wondered to herself, her heart aching at the sight of Bucky's exhausted form. She carefully sat up, trying not to disturb him as she lovingly examined his sleeping face. She couldn't help but smile as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through her fingertips.

Bucky groaned as his sleep was interrupted, muttering something about Sam needs to leave him be; before he abruptly sat up, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Hi there," y/n greeted softly, her eyes sparkling with affection as she watched Bucky's reaction.

For a moment, Bucky seemed unable to comprehend that she was finally awake. His eyes widened in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. But then the realization hit him, and he threw himself at her, wrapping her in a tight embrace as if she were the most precious thing in the world .Despite the pain that shot through her body, she managed to let out a soft chuckle, returning his embrace with equal fervor. The warmth of his embrace chased away the lingering chill of unconsciousness, and for a moment, everything felt right.

"y/n..." Bucky breathed into her neck, his voice trembling with emotion. She hummed in response, her heart swelling for him. "Hmmm?"

Not wanting to let go of her, Bucky called her name once again, his voice wavering with uncertainty. "y/n-..." She paused, her lips curving into a tender smile as she whispered in his ear, "Yes, Bucky?"

Bucky tightened his grip, his breath hitching in his throat as he buried his face in her shoulder. y/n gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "I'm here, sweetheart." The scent of her hair, the feel of her warmth against him—it all felt overwhelming. Emotions churned inside him like a tempest. Relief, guilt, love, and fear battled for dominance, leaving him raw and exposed.

She gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere.

Bucky's mind raced, images of the past few weeks flashing before his eyes. He remembered the coldness with which he'd treated her, the cruel words that had slipped from his lips, fueled by Jen's poison. He thought of the sleepless nights, the nightmares that had gripped him, and the aching void he'd felt every time he saw y/n’s hurt expression.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice muffled against her shoulder. "For everything. For not believing you. For pushing you away."

Reluctantly, she pulled away, but not before wiping the tears from Bucky's cheeks and fighting the urge to place a tender kiss on his forehead. As she looked into his eyes, she could see the depth of his love and the pain he had endured for her sake. And in that moment, she knew that she had found her home in his arms. Bucky took her hands in his own, his eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to her wounded wrists. "This will never happen again. Ever," he vowed, his voice filled with determination.

Moved by his words, y/n felt her heart flutter with emotion. She realized in that moment that she could never stay angry at him, no matter what had transpired between them. She understood now that they were both at fault, both victims of circumstance and misunderstanding.

With a surge of courage, she reached out and pulled Bucky into a kiss. Her lips met his in a slow, passionate embrace, pouring all of her love and forgiveness into the tender gesture. It was a moment of connection, of healing, of reaffirming their bond despite the trials they had faced.

The taste of Bucky's lips was like a soothing salve to her soul; it was intoxicating. It felt as if the world had fallen away, leaving only the two of them entwined in each other's arms. When they finally broke apart, Bucky whispered those three words that y/n had longed to hear, "I love you."

Her heart soared with joy, and she couldn't help but tease him, "Took you long enough." her teasing words met with a cheeky grin from Bucky.  "I love you too, Bucky" she blinked slowly. As he whispered softly under his breath, "Come here," he pulled her back into the kiss, their lips meeting in a tender embrace that spoke volumes of their unspoken love. And in that moment, amidst the chaos and uncertainty of their world, they found solace in each other's arms, knowing that together, they could weather any storm.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: I just needed to let this out lmao. It's been stuck in my head for several weeks. Thank you for spending your time reading this crap... honestly. Love you so much 🤍

[kwanisms]

Rough Waters — h.jisung

» stray kids masterlist «

➮ samebito!Jisung × f!Reader wc: 10k summary: Y/N is a marine biologist who is obsessed with finding new sea life. During a night dive, she stumbles across a very well hidden underwater cave entrance and finds herself meeting something that defies all logic and evolution. She forms a bond with the creature and comes back almost every night to visit him. genres/themes/au: fluff (if u squint), smut; supernatural and japanese folklore themes, s2l, slight predator/prey themes; non idol au, merman au, samebito au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, a little bit of arguing between Y/N and some of the townsfolk about the existence of mermaids, some slightly sad conversation about Jisung being alone, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! special taglist: @yoonguurt , @anyamaris , @wooyoungqueen , @kpop-stories-21 , @xsweetelegantdiasterx , @kookthief , @stardragongalaxy , @millennial-fangirl , @blankdyean , @imwithurmother , @bangchans-angel , @oreoqueen , @yjeonginlvr , @zdgx1 , @shuxsoo , @s00buwu , @queenmea604 , @pochaccomin , @katsukis1wife , @linos-catnip , @wh0r3mir4 , @cutiespaghetti Join the taglist! »» Closed ! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED.

a/n: this is super self-indulgent and I will not apologize for shark merman cnc Jisung. I wanted this Jisung so I made him. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. If you enjoyed this, reblog or leave a comment. I love feedback. The next part, Changbin's part, is the last one of this series! That being said, next up is the Holiday Special of Tales from Camp. You can sign up for that taglist here and read the first two installments here. If you've yet to read the OG Tales from Camp, that masterlist is here. Thank you so much for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), unprotected sex (he’s a freakin shark merman. You think he cares about avoiding pregnancy? He can’t even get her pregnant lol but you need to use protection!), oral (f receiving), con noncon, pool/water sex (kinda lol), dirty talk, use of pet names (little fish, cutie, baby, pet, etc), rough sex, dom!Jisung, sub!Reader, even though it’s cnc Y/N is very receptive towards his advances and in the end, she does give him consent. But if CNC or dubcon makes you uncomfy, don’t read it. This is my fantasy. I wrote this for me lol if I missed anything let me know

dialogue prompt: ❛ I'm waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you. ❜

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The warning sign at the beach that read ‘beware of sharks’ in all capital letters should have served as warning for what you were about to get yourself into.

Living in a seaside town has always had its perks. Sandy beaches to visit in the summers, the smell of salt that you’d come to love, boating, all the seafood you could want among them. It was almost like your own personal paradise.

The one drawback was the shark population that increased at the end of summer which drove away the rest of the tourism for the season. You weren’t mad about it. After all, the ocean was home to all marine animals, sharks included. As a biologist, you knew each animal had its own purpose and was beneficial to the ecosystem, especially sharks.

So despite the danger, you never missed an opportunity to dive when the weather allowed. Of course, you chose night time for your dives.

Night was perfect as the animals weren’t as active without the sunlight.

Your dive for the night had taken you to a rocky part of the shore where you knew caves would be. The caves along the shore were always hard to reach and most of them only had underwater entrances.

You’d explored a fair share of them since moving to this town but there were many more you wanted to explore and see what kind of life you could find.

This excursion was like any other, you’d made a plan with the local coast guard as well as letting your contact in town know when, where, and how long you’d be. It was a standard procedure which had become routine for you.

You had taken out your boat and anchored it just off shore and near what you assumed was the opening to another cave before suiting up and jumping into the water. The water was cool enough in the summer months but in the fall it was almost freezing, making you grateful for the wetsuit you wore no matter the temperature. Making sure your mask was secure you slowly sank into the water, turning on and shining your light towards the bottom of the rocks.

An opening was visible at the base and you carefully made your way down, inspecting the opening before starting inside. You’d explored many of these caves before, you knew the procedure and the caves never scared you. To some, caving was one thing but to do so underwater was an entirely different beast. To you, it was almost second nature.

As you continued forward, you scanned the walls of the cave, taking note of the coral, algae, and other life that had taken root on the walls. It wasn’t uncommon to find life in places like this. Sea caves were often the home to unique and enclosed ecosystems.

As you gently propelled yourself forward, you noticed how the cave seemed to open up. As you reached the end you looked up and saw that the cave did indeed open up into a large cavern. Sand lined the bottom of the cavern, many coral reefs and other life taking up residence. You started to swim up, noticing the surface approaching rapidly.

You broke through the surface of the water and found that the cavern was much larger than you initially thought. Swimming over to the edge of the pool, you pulled yourself up and started to look around as you started to remove your mask.

It was a rounded cavern. The pool was about twenty feet in diameter but there was a rocky ledge where you were currently perched on and then the rocky floor continued for another twenty feet making the whole diameter of the cavern about forty feet. You pulled your mask off and set it down as you undid and shrugged off your oxygen tank.

“This is incredible,” you whispered to yourself as you removed your flippers and got up, starting to walk around the cavern and inspect the walls. There was a slight glitter to them as you shined your light. Not like they were wet but like some kind of diamond dust was embedded in the rock.

You looked straight above your head and noticed there was an almost perfect circular cut out in the cavern ceiling and moonlight was filtering through the hole. The moonlight hit the surface of the water and danced around the cavern.

As you were inspecting, you noticed something else.

The cave seemed inhabited. You noticed bones collected in a pile and an old fire pit. You wondered who might seek shelter in this cave when it was so close to the boardwalk but didn’t have time to dwell on it as you heard a large splash coming from the pool.

You made your way back over and cursed as you saw your mask and oxygen tank sinking to the bottom of the pool. “Shit,” you said softly and looked around. You hoped there might be a break in the rocks that would allow you to exit the cave instead of having to go back into the pool but you saw nothing.

You turned around on the spot, trying to figure out a way out of this but you saw nothing that could help. There was nothing you could use to reach the tank and mask which were now nestled at the bottom of the pool in the sand. “Fuck!” you cursed, your voice echoing off the wall.

You looked away from the pool when you heard a shift against the rock behind you.

Shining your light back, you saw nothing and chalked it up to nerves.

You turned back, eyes catching something dark in the pool below you before you felt something grab you and pull you into the pool.

You kicked and fought against whatever it was until it seemed to let go of you and you quickly swam to the surface, coughing once you broke through the surface. You tried to pull yourself up onto the rocky ledge but something grabbed your leg and tugged, pulling you off the wall and back into the water.

Just as quickly as it grabbed you, it let go.

You tried to shine your flashlight around but whatever it was moved too fast for you to get a good glimpse of it. In a desperate attempt to throw the animal off, you threw your flashlight away, turning back for the ledge at the light splashed a considerable distance away.

You hoped the splash would distract the animal enough for you to get away and it seemed to work as you scrambled up onto the rocky ledge before you pulled away and peered back at the still water’s surface. Your eyes scanned the area, looking for any kind of predator that could have been responsible.

Upon not seeing one, you looked down to inspect your arm and your ankle. Your skin was unbroken and mostly unscathed. There were slight imprints, almost like teeth or maybe even claws but no blood had been drawn.

A small splash caught your attention and you snapped your head up in time to see a ripple cross the surface of the water. Something had disturbed the water. You saw a dark shadow move near the bottom of the pool, only noticing it as it crossed in front of the beam of your flashlight.

You were being watched. Whatever had dragged you into the water knew you were there and it was circling the pool. Waiting. Hunting. Whatever it was was sentient enough to know it had you trapped. It knew the only way out of the cave was through the water and it would wait.

You should have been terrified. After all, it was hunting you but your curiosity wouldn’t be satisfied until you caught a glimpse of it. You had to know what it was.

Carefully, you approached the edge of the pool, eyes scanning the dark and catching a large shadow as it swam in circles. Not in an erratic or frenzied pattern but calmly. Almost… leisurely.

As you peered over the edge of the rocks, the shadow stopped circling and started to swim to the surface. You watched in awe as a dark smooth body broke through the surface before you saw the fin. A shark fin. ‘Of course it was a shark,’ you told yourself watching as the creature moved towards you.

You pulled back slightly as it drew closer and closer. You were well aware that some sharks were known for their breaching behavior, namely great whites. This was definitely not a great white shark. It was much darker. It could have been a tiger shark but tigers weren’t known for their aggressive behavior.

Bull sharks on the other hand were and though bull sharks hadn’t been spotted in the area in over 20 years, it wasn’t completely impossible.You drew back entirely, hoping the animal wouldn’t try to jump out of the water to reach you.

As it drew closer, you watched as it dove down with just precision that you were starting to wonder if it was a shark after all. Sharks weren’t known for diving so steeply. They were gradual divers. You leaned over the edge and lost sight of the shadow. Your eyes caught the flickering of your flashlight and you cursed as it went dark, the illumination you had now gone and only the light of the moon allowing you to see.

The water seemed to still as you looked around. Had it left? Was the animal gone? Your instincts told you it was still there, waiting for you to slip up before it took you at its latest meal.

Even though sharks didn’t go out of their way to eat humans, if one was hungry enough, it would stalk one and wait. Just like any other starving predator.

As you looked around, you saw bubbles just under where you were leaning over the water.

You glanced down and let out an ear piercing scream as the creature surfaced quickly, forcing you back as it breached and landed on top of you. You struggled to push it away, taking care to avoid the head and any potential bites.

As you struggled under the weight of the animal, you could have sworn you heard… laughter?

Your eyes popped open and you looked up, fear and shock mixing as you stared at the creature above you.

You were looking into the face of a man. Your shock and fear turned briefly into anger as you tried to make sense of the situation. Had it been a man this whole time? Some weird cave hermit that had been tormenting you and pretending to be a shark to scare you into leaving his home?

“You should see your face!” he said as his laughter grew. You narrowed your eyes and tried to sit up but it was then you noticed the lower half of his body and gasped.

From the waist up, he was human. Golden tan skin that blended into the dark blackish-blue of his shark-like tail. A… merman? Your eyes traveled back up to his face, taking in each and every detail bathed in moonlight. He wore around his neck a black cord necklace with shells and in the middle, a pendant made from a shark tooth.

You watched as he continued to laugh, sharp pointed teeth peeking out from his plush peachy lips.

“You humans are so much fun,” he said as his laughter subsided. His hands rested on the rock under you as he leaned over you, his slim waist positioned between your thighs as he smirked at you. Leaning slightly to the left, you looked over his body again. The dark blackish-blue faded into a pale grayish-blue on the ventricle side and the same grayish-blue stripes covered his back. The fin on his back was just past his waist and was a very typical shark-like fin.

His tail was also the trademark shark fin but it was more like a thresher tail with the top part of the fin longer. Your eyes traveled back up to his face, inspecting the ocean blue irises that stared back at you. “What the--” you trailed off, pushing yourself up, forcing the creature to back up.

“What are you?” you asked, voice full of caution and curiosity. You watched as the creature fell back into the water, disappearing below the surface before popping back up, fixing you with a playful stare. “You’re the scientist,” he noted. “You tell me.”

You stared at him blankly. How could you even expect to explain this? Explain him? His very existence had been disputed and debated for hundreds of years. Mermaids were the stuff of legend and folklore. They weren’t supposed to exist.

If that were the case however, how did you explain this? How did you explain the creature treading water before you? “It has to be some sort of suit,” you mumbled, looking at the shark-like body under the water. The creature scoffed. “It’s always ‘seeing is believing’ with you humans until something shows up and then it’s all ‘has to be fake.’ Do you ever believe anything?” he asked.

You looked up, examining his face. His soft features. Round cheeks, plush pouty lips that started to lift into a crooked smile, showing off his pointed teeth. “I believe in science,” you explained and he rolled his eyes. “But I also believe there are things science can’t explain,” you continued.

You started to lower yourself into the water and he immediately shied away. You held up your hand. “I’m not going to hurt you,” you said softly. You saw his eyes flit to the knife strapped to your thigh. You followed his gaze and quickly removed the weapon.

“For protection,” you replied, setting it on the rocks behind you and facing him. “In case something tries to take a bite out of me,” you added. His brow furrowed. “If you get bit, maybe you shouldn’t get in the water,” he replied and you nodded. “I’ve never been bit,” you answered. “I’ve gotten close, but the knife is a last resort,” you continued.

“You have your teeth and your claws,” you reminded him. “My teeth and nails are no match for shark skin,” you added. “If you aren’t a match, why do you enter the ring?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. A smile spread across your face. “Because I study marine life,” you replied.

“I’m a marine biologist.”

The creature tilted his head the opposite direction. “Are you here to study me?” he asked. You shrugged before answering. “Up until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even know you existed,” you answered, swimming a little closer. He watched you cautiously. “So you didn’t know this cave is my home?” he asked and you shook your head. “No, I had no idea.”

He studied you carefully.

“Are you… a merman?” you asked suddenly. His expression changed, amusement crossing his features as he laughed. “A merman?” he asked incredulously. “Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Those pretty boys live safe and sound in their lairs, never venturing far from home,” he added.

You cocked your head to the side. “Pretty boys?” you asked. “Do you not think you’re pretty?”

Your question must have caught him off guard because he stopped smiling and stared at you, a slight pink hue reaching his cheeks. “N-no,” he answered finally. “I’m not.” You frowned at him. How could he not think he was? You found all sea life incredible beautiful but nothing you’d encountered before had made you think it was attractive and yet here he was before you.

“I think you’re pretty,” you replied. He stared at you, eyes widening. “Y-you do?” he asked softly, to which you nodded. “I think you’re very pretty,” you replied. He swam a little closer, inspecting your face. “So,” you said, breaking the silence. “If you aren’t a merman, what are you?”

He raised his gaze to meet yours, drawing it from your body under the water. “What do you think I am? Hmm, marine biologist?” he asked and you sighed, backing away from him and pulling yourself up onto the rock. “Sorry,” you said as you situated yourself. “My legs were getting tired.”

He watched as you massaged your calves. “I can only tread water for so long.”

“In my experience,” you started. “I’ve never seen anything like you,” you continued. “The shark part is unlike any species I’ve ever seen. It’s like an amalgamation of tiger and thresher sharks,” you noted. He smiled, showing off his pointy teeth as he swam closer. “So you’re saying I’m unique?” he asked.

You nodded as he drew closer. “Unique and otherworldly,” you added. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” He pulled himself back up, leaning over your frame. “You’ve never seen anything like me?” You shook your head again. “Never,” you replied.

Silence fell over the two of you as you stared at one another. His dark hair had started to dry a bit, the ends of his bangs falling into his eyes. “What do you call yourself?” you asked, tilting your head to the right. He smiled, mimicking your movement. “Jisung,” he replied. “My name is Jisung.”

“Jisung,” you repeated. He leaned in, eyes watching your lips as you spoke. “I like the way you say my name,” he whispered. You could feel your heart rate kicking up as he leaned closer. ‘What is he doing?’ You stared back as his eyes moved up to meet your gaze. “What is your name?” he asked just as softly as before.

You froze. He was asking your name? Should you tell him? It’s not like he was going to look you up or something. You then wondered if you should tell any kind of sentient creature your name. Didn’t that give them power over you or something? You must have taken longer than he expected because he smirked at you.

“What’s the matter? Shark got your tongue?” he asked, amused by his own joke.

Your facade broke and you smiled. “Y/N,” you finally answered. “I’m Y/N.” Jisung smiled back, a genuine smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” he replied, lowering back into the water and staring up at you.

“Likewise,” you replied.

After meeting Jisung that night, you promised to come back. And came back you did.

You managed to gain his trust enough to draw a small vial of blood, and take a couple pictures mainly of his tail and markings. You promised to keep his existence a secret, making sure all your research on him was done at home and that you kept everything under wraps.

A few days turned into a week and you came back almost every night, getting to know Jisung and more about his existence. You learned that he wasn’t a merman, like he had said. He was a samebito. He had explained that it was similar to a merman but different folklore and legends.

A week and a half had passed since you first met Jisung and you were currently sitting on the edge of the boat, writing in your notebook, going over your notes before suiting up and jumping in the water. 

A splash caught your attention and you glanced up. You weren’t sure why you even looked, it was night time and you couldn’t even see the water except near your boat. You grabbed the spotlight, flipping it on and turning it slowly until something came into view and you sighed.

“Someone’s impatient,” you chuckled, letting go of the light and returning to your notes as Jisung swam over to your boat. “I got lonely,” he said softly as he reached the end of your boat. He quickly pulled himself up to sit on the side of the boat near you.

“What’re you writing?” he asked, leaning over to see your notebook. “Just some notes,” you mumbled, finishing up your notes and closing the notebook quickly, and setting it aside. You turned to look at him and your smile fell upon seeing the fresh scar on his shoulder.

“What happened here?” you asked, voice laced with concern as you scooted closer.

He glanced down and let out a chuckle. “Oh,” he said softly. “I got a little too close to a shark feed ground,” he continued. “I’ll heal pretty quickly,” he added as you inspected the wound. “I was hunting and got in the way,” he admitted with a sheepish smile.

“Have you eaten?” you asked, looking up at him. He met your gaze and hesitated. “What?” he asked and watched as you got up and walked over to the opposite side of the boat, lifting one of the seats and reached in to pull out one of the fish you’d caught earlier.

“Here,” you said, holding it up. “I mean,” you added, turning your head to look at the fish. “I could cook it,” you said softly. Jisung smiled and chuckled. “Did you catch that for me?” he asked as you walked over, holding the fish up. You nodded. “There’s more in the cooler,” you added.

Jisung chuckled and shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said with a smile. “I’ve eaten,” he explained, taking the fish from you. “I don’t want to gross you out,” he added as he inspected it. “Oh,” you said dejectedly. Jisung looked up and handed the fish back. “Just keep it on ice for a little while longer and sell it if you don’t eat fish,” he said softly.

You took the fish and took it back to the cooler, closing it and placing the seat down before heading back and sitting back down. “So when did this happen?” you asked, nodding at his shoulder. He glanced down again as he thought.

“Oh, maybe like a couple hours ago,” he replied and your eyes widened in shock. “Wait, really?” you asked and he nodded, looking confused at your shock. “Yeah, I heal pretty quickly,” he added with a laugh. You leaned forward, reaching up to brush your fingers against his skin.

“Weird,” you murmured, making him throw his head back with a laugh. “Sorry,” you said sheepishly. Jisung shook his head. “It’s okay,” he replied. “Like you said, you’ve never met anyone like me.” You chuckled, nodding. “That’s true,” you added.

Silence fell over the two of you as you looked up at the sky, the waves lapping at the sides of the boat and a gentle breeze blowing through the air. You looked over at Jisung to find him already looking at you, a calm expression on his face.

“What?” you asked softly and he shook his head, a smile spreading across his face. “Nothing,” he answered. “Oh!” he said quickly sitting up. “I found something really cool while out the other night!” he said and turned towards you.

“Wanna see it?” he asked. You nodded, feeling excited. “Where are we going?” you asked, getting up and starting to strip to your bikini, not noticing the way Jisung’s eyes followed your movement and body. You moved to grab your wetsuit.

Jisung waited patiently for you to pull it on. “Jump in,” Jisung said, looking at the water and you looked at the water. “We’re swimming there?” you asked, making him chuckle. “It’s not far,” he answered. “It’s worth it, I promise.” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Come on, Y/N,” he groaned. “Live a little,” he added with a wink before rolling towards the edge of the boat and diving into the water. You sighed and grabbed your boat keys, pulling the elastic over your wrist and walking over to the light, shutting it off the light and heading to the bow of the boat, grabbing your flashlight and snorkel mask. 

As you reached the back, you turned the light on to see Jisung was floating, waiting for you. “Where are we going?” you asked as you held the flashlight between your knees as you pulled the mask on. “Not far,” Jisung said as you grabbed the flashlight and climbed down the ladder, joining him in the water.

Jisung took your hand and gently pulled you along. “Come here,” he said softly. “Hold on,” he added, guiding your arms around his neck. “Are you sure?” you asked, softly, cheeks burning as you looked at him so closely. He turned his head to look at you, his own cheeks turning soft pink.

“Uh,” yeah,” he said softly. “Just try not to get under me,” he added. 

It felt weird, hanging off him from behind as he started swimming. It almost felt like you were riding a shark, the trashing as he started off but soon turned into a smooth motion as he zipped through the water, propelled only by the powerful tail.

Jisung was careful to stay near the surface so you didn’t have to hold your breath with the mask. You could tell he was holding back, not swimming as fast as you knew he could go. You’d seen him zipping through the water before, breaching the surface at speeds you suspected most sharks could reach.

This was much slower than you’d witnessed.

Jisung started to slow, lifting his head out of the water. As he came to a stop, you slid from his back, reaching up to remove your snorkel mask. “We’re almost there,” he said, looking up at the stars overhead. You glanced skyward, letting out a soft gasp.

“Wow,” you whispered. Jisung chuckled, grabbing your hand gently. “Come on,” he said quietly, tugging you through the water towards the rocky beach. “I’ve seen these rocks when visiting you,” you commented as he led you towards them. “You’ll need your goggles for this,” he said, turning to look back at you. As soon as the words left his lips, you pulled them back on, dumping any water out of them.

“Now what?” you asked as he took your hand again. “Hold your breath,” he instructed. You took a deep breath and allowed him to pull you under the water, leading you down towards a cave opening. It wasn’t unlike the entrance to his cave; only this one was much narrower.

The cave opening seemed to go on forever, winding around as you let Jisung pull you. Your lungs were starting to burn and you knew if you didn’t hurry, you’d start to suffocate. Finally, Jisung pulled you free from the narrow cave into a much larger one and pushed you towards the surface.

You kicked towards the surface of the pool, breaching at the same time he did. Jisung floated near as you coughed, allowing air to fill your lungs again, the taste of salt on your tongue. “I had no idea there were so many of these,” you gasped. “How many are there?”

Jisung chuckled, taking your hand. “Come,” he said simply, pulling you through the water. The inside of this cave was much different than his. Instead of a single round chamber, there were multiple round chambers, connected together. 

Jisung pulled you along into the next chamber until you reached the last one. “Through there,” he nodded towards a window in the rock wall. “This is so cool,” you commented as you swam over, pulling yourself up to peer out.

It was then that you saw it.

Jisung pulled himself up next to you, a wide grin on his face. “Wow,” you whispered. “Cool, huh?” he asked, resting his chin on his forearm.

Outside the cave was more stretch of ocean, waves rolling up onto a sandy beach. There was only about twenty feet between the beach and the treeline behind it and the beach stretched for about fifty feet between two rocky bluffs.

All along the beach, rolling in the waves were glowing blue lights. “Bioluminescent plankton,” you whispered. “They come here every night to feed,” he whispered. “It’s pretty cool, with the stars and the lights,” he continued.

You turned to look at him.

“This little alcove is remote,” he explained. “Human’s haven’t started colonizing it,” he added. “I think it might be privately owned,” he continued. You glanced at him before looking back at the beach. “I hope it stays like this,” you whispered, also resting your chin on your forearm.

You sat in silence, watching the lights dance in the waves. You could feel Jisung’s eyes on you and you turned to look at him, your cheeks burning. You watched his eyes flit between your eyes and your lips before he slowly moved. He lifted his hand, moving it to cup your face, thumb tracing the curve of your cheek.

Your heart started to hammer in your chest as he leaned closer. At that moment, a shrill laugh rang out from the direction of the trees. Jisung pulled back abruptly and you turned away from his gaze to look at the beach as a beam of light bounced along the sand.

“Teenagers,” you whispered as a group of teens came out of the woods, giggling as they descended on the shore. Jisung scoffed as he watched them. “Ungrateful little shits.” You snorted into a laugh. “Come on,” you said softly. “Before they decide to come into the water and find this cave with us inside.”

Jisung allowed you to lead him away, back through the cave. You pulled your mask back on, taking another deep breath and letting Jisung pull you through the narrow opening and back into the open ocean. You took your time swimming back, only hitching a ride when your legs gave out.

Back at the boat, Jisung watched you climb up the ladder and pulled himself up on the side again, watching as you disappeared into the cabin. In the privacy of your boat, you stripped and dried off, pulling on dry clothes and running a towel haphazardly over your hair before returning to Jisung.

His hair had started to dry as he lounged on the side of the boat, his tail hanging down the side of the vessel. You chuckled, turning on the lights of the boat and Jisung opened one eye to look at you. “Are you gonna sleep there?” you asked as you walked over, taking a seat on the cushion below where he was lounging.

He propped himself up, looking down at you. “What happened back there,” he started, his voice taking on a more serious tone. You looked away, feeling a sour taste bubbling up from your stomach. ‘He wants to forget it,’ you told yourself.

“It’s fine,” you interrupted. “It can’t happen, I know,” you added. You refused to look up at him so you missed the way his brows knitted together as he stared at you, a slight pout on his lips. “That’s what you’re going to say, right?” you asked when he didn’t answer.

“I’m a human and you’re not. So we can’t.”

You felt his fingers move under your chin, turning and tilting your head to face him. “Stop jumping to conclusions,” he said sternly before leaning in and closing the distance, pressing his lips against yours. For a split second, you panicked before accepting the gesture and melting into the kiss.

You whined as he started to pull back. You pulled him back in by the back of his neck, kissing him more fiercely. Jisung accepted your advances, lips parting as he took back control, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You pulled him closer, leaning back onto the cushions and forcing him to follow your movements.

Jisung groaned into the kiss and pulled back quickly. “Wait,” he gasped. “Sorry,” you whispered as he pushed himself up. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Just give me a second.” You sat up as he pulled back, taking a few deep breaths. “Things were getting a little intense,” he admitted.

You smiled shyly. “Sorry,” you replied. “I got a little excited I guess,” you added, shrugging. Jisung chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “That’s okay,” he answered. “I did, too,” he admitted with a grin. “It happened really fast. I’m sorry if I crossed a line,” he continued.

You shook your head, pulling your knees up and resting your head against the backrest of the seat. “It’s okay,” you said softly, looking up at him in the lights of the boat. “I wanted it.” Jisung nibbled on his bottom lip nervously. “You did?” he asked, his voice sounding optimistic.

You nodded. “I did,” you reassured him. “You didn’t cross a line.”

“That’s a relief.”

Silence fell over you as you watched him and he watched you for a while. You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you spoke. “Do you ever get scared?” you asked him. He tilted his head curiously. “Scare?” he asked. “Of what?”

“The town? Fishermen? Being discovered?”

Jisung hesitated, no doubt pondering his answer. “Sometimes,” he answered finally. “I guess I haven’t really thought about it but I like being left alone,” he said, smiling before speaking. “Well, mostly alone,” he added. “I just want to live my life like most creatures.”

“Have you ever been spotted before?” you asked and he smiled wider. “You tell me? Heard any stories?” you snorted as you realized what he was hinting at. “No, thankfully,” you replied. Jisung chuckled at your response. “There you have it. Safe and undiscovered except by you.”

He leaned closer, brushing his lips against yours before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Your cheeks heated up again. You could feel the heat spread all the way down to your core and you tried not to focus on the feeling lingering in your stomach. Jisung noticed a shift in your demeanor and tilted his head.

“You okay?” he asked softly, moving his hand to caress your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. You nodded wordlessly. “Yeah,” you answered. “I’m great,” you lied. “But it’s getting late,” you commented. “I should probably head out.”

You got up, Jisung sitting up and watching as you did. “Hey,” he called softly, reaching out for your hand. You allowed him to take hold of it and pull you closer. “I have to go hunting tomorrow but I’ll see you after, yeah?” he asked. You nodded, leaning in to press your forehead against his.

“Goodnight,” you said softly. Jisung pulled you in, placing a tender kiss against your lips. 

“Goodnight,” he whispered. You watched as he dove off the side of the boat and into the water with a splash, only surfacing to look up at you. You waved at him as he stared up at you. 

“See you tomorrow!” he called before disappearing below the surface, no doubt heading into his cave.

“See you tomorrow,” you whispered.

Only you didn’t see him the next day. Or the day after that. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him.

The night after Jisung took you to see the bioluminescent plankton and kissed you, your dreams were plagued with him. They started innocently, spending time exploring the caves but they soon took a turn and you were starting to have inappropriate thoughts and dreams about him.

Things you should definitely not be thinking about.

The dreams only escalated after that and soon you were dreaming about him showing up in your home, shark tail gone and replaced with human legs.

It was starting to get out of hand.

You hadn’t been back to see Jisung in almost a week and you were feeling guilty not only for disappearing but also for having continuous wet dreams about him. How were you supposed to look him in the eye when all you could think about was him pinning you down and having his way with you?

You knew sooner or later, you’d have to go back out there. You couldn’t just not ever come back. You at least needed to explain to him why you’d been avoiding him and avoiding coming back.

The final push came when you were at the market, looking at some cuts of steak for dinner when you overheard a conversation at the next stall over.

“You’re so full of shit, Paul,” a woman said, shaking her head as she continued crocheting. “No I’m not!” the man you presumed was Paul replied. “I saw it! Looked like a great big tiger shark but it had the upper body of a man!”

You froze, eyes widening as you inspected a particular cut of steak. ‘Jisung?’

“And where did you see this mermaid?” another man asked, laughing. “Near the pier! I was doing some fishing off the end when I spotted it! Was huge! Like ten feet long!” You felt your heart start to pound as you forced a smile and pointed out two steaks.

The stall owner packaged them up for you. “Thanks,” you murmured, handing over a few notes to pay for the meat as the conversation beside you carried on.

“I swear, I saw it!”

You walked away as the others around the man laughed and waved their hands, dismissing his claims. Upon returning home, your mind was made up for you as you entered your kitchen, making one of the steaks for yourself and saving the other. You wonder if Jisung had ever had steak before.

After dinner, you packed your stuff, grabbing your bikini and house keys. You stopped and grabbed the steak from the fridge and headed out of the house, locking up and walking towards the marina, bag slung over your shoulder.

You ignored the night beach goers enjoying bonfires as you headed for the docks. Once on your boat, you casted off, backing your boat out and driving out towards the caves where you knew Jisung had taken up residence.

You reached the rocks in record time, casting your anchor and moving to lower the microphone in the water. You normally didn’t have to use it but you figured after a week, you might need to use it to draw Jisung out.

You turned the dial, starting the dolphin call and sat on one of the seats.

You waited patiently, arms crossed over your chest before you got up and headed into the cabin, changing out of your clothes and into your bikini and then pulling on the wetsuit. As you exited the cabin you heard a splash and looked up to see Jisung perched on the side of your boat staring at you.

There was no smile nor greeting. He merely stared at you blankly.

Neither of you said anything as you stared at one another. Finally Jisung spoke.

“What?” he asked shortly. You crossed to the cooler, lifting the seat and opening the cooler lid. You pulled out the steak and held it up to show him. “Ever had beef?” you asked. Jisung narrowed his eyes. “That’s all you have to say?” he asked. You tore open the brown paper and removed the plastic, holding up the steak.

“Have you ever had steak?”

He glared at you. “Is this some kind of test?” he asked. You shook your head, walking over to where he was and climbed up to sit next to him. “No,” you replied. “I was at the market earlier and got steak,” you explained. He stared at you, glancing down at the meat and back up.

“And this is relevant, how?” he asked. He was clearly upset at you and you couldn’t fault him. You disappeared after he’d kissed you. You presented the steak. “How about you eat and I’ll talk, hmm?” you asked. He looked up at you hesitantly before he nodded.

You handed him the steak to inspect. “You said it’s beef?” he asked. You nodded as he raised it to sniff. “Cow,” you added. “It’s actually a really tender cut,” you continued. “I cooked the other one earlier and ate it for dinner.”

You turned away as he nibbled at the end of the steak. “I also heard an interesting story at the market when I was buying this steak,” you explained. “One of the guys there, a local fisherman. name’s Paul,” you said, glancing at him.

“Well, Paul told everyone in his vicinity that he’d seen something out on the pier while fishing this morning,” you continued, noticing how Jisung’ gaze flickered to you. “Said he’d seen something… strange.” Jisung lowered the partially eaten steak.

“Said it was huge. Looked like a massive tiger shark,” you continued as Jisung stared unblinkingly at you. “Said it had the torso of a man.” Realization dawned on his face as you spoke. “I was spotted?” he asked and you sighed. “What were you doing at the pier in broad daylight?” you asked.

Jisung looked away from you and down at the meat. “I went looking for you,” he admitted. Your heart skipped a beat. “Why?” you asked softly. “Because you vanished,” he replied, looking up at you. “I haven’t seen you for a week!”

Your stomach sank. It was as you feared. “I’m sorry,” you said softly as he ripped the steak apart with his hands. “I was dealing with some things,” you added as he tore into one of the pieces. You watched as he chewed the raw meat and swallowed. “Are you okay now?” he asked.

You nodded. “For the most part,” you added. “I’m still… dealing,” you admitted. Jisung devoured the last of the steak and looked at you. “Do you have any more of that?” he asked, sniffing the air. You chuckled and shook your head. “No,” you replied. “Just the one.”

He pouted. “That was really good,” he murmured, looking disappointed. He perked up quickly. “You’re here though,” he added and you nodded. “I know,” you replied. “And I’m sorry I was gone.” He shook his head and nodded towards the water. “I have something to show you, come on!” he said and before you could answer, he rolled off the boat with a splash into the water below.

Sighing you grabbed your snorkel mask and turned off the boat lights, making sure to grab your keys and the ankle flashlight. Once you were equipped, you climbed down the ladder and into the water with a splash. Making sure the mask was secure, you ducked your head.

You could see Jisung swimming near the opening to his cave. Once he was certain you spotted him, he slipped into the narrow opening and you took a deep breath before following, removing the mouth piece of your snorkel.

You pulled yourself into the opening and followed the path to the interior chamber, kicking toward the surface. Jisung was sitting on the ledge of the pool and you moved over to join him, pulling the mask off and setting it aside.

“What did you wanna show me?” you asked as you pulled yourself up. Jisung held up his hand, showing you a collection of shells. “Scallops,” you muttered, picking up one of the shells. “And this,” he added, showing you an intact clam.

“It already died,” he explained as he carefully pried it open with his nails. “But this is what I really wanted to show you,” he explained as he picked up something small and round and handed it over, placing it in your palm. It was a pearl.

“It’s so pretty,” you breathed, holding the pearl closer. Jisung smiled before he slipped into the water. “I have one more thing to show you,” he added and disappeared under the water, diving down to the bottom of the pool.

He resurfaced moments later and swam closer, holding up something small, smooth, and purple. “Sea glass,” he said as you took the smooth stone-like material. “I see this stuff all the time,” he explained as he rested his chin on your knee. You smiled at him. “You’re giving gifts now?” you asked and he nodded.

He took a deep breath, the smile on his face dropping. “Is something different about you?” he asked suddenly. You glanced down at him and shook your head. “No,” you replied. He lifted his head, sniffing the air. “Something smells different…”

Your cheeks burned as he leaned closer, inhaling your scent.

“Oh,” he said softly, glancing up at you.

“Are you-”

“These are really pretty gifts,” you interrupted, looking down at the pearl and sea glass. Jisung’s brow furrowed as you avoided his gaze. “Y/N,” he started and when you still didn’t look at him, he pulled himself up, caging you in with his arms as his body slotted between your thighs.

You let out a surprised squeak, the pearl and sea glass falling from your hands and into the water with a plop. Jisung was inspecting your face, leaning closer. “Jisung,” you warned as he leaned even closer, forcing you to lean back, holding yourself up with one hand.

One of his hands moved to your lower back and pulled your hips flush against him, forcing another squeak from your lips. Heat spread into your cheeks and pooled in the pit of your stomach and Jisung’s eyes widened as the realization hit him.

“So that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” he whispered. You shook your head. “I haven’t been avoiding-AHH!” you gasped as he very quickly pinned you down, your back flat against the rock as he hovered over you.

“You have,” he murmured. “You’ve been avoiding me. Was it the kiss?” he asked, his hands moving to pin your wrists together. “Did it have some sort of effect on--”

Jisung stopped, his words catching as he caught the change of your scent. The sudden flood of arousal that filled the cavern.

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping an octave and eyes darkening. “So that does it for you, does it?” he asked, grinning lopsidedly at you, showing his sharp teeth off. 

“Being pinned down and unable to move?”

You stared up at him, breathing heavily as heat rushed to your core, a tingling sensation starting to form in your toes. “W-what?” you whispered, your voice much softer than you intended. Jisung’s grin widened. “I think you do. I think you like this,” he continued.

You shook your head but your voice wouldn’t come out. Jisung tilted his head, black eyes boring into yours. “I think you’re lying,” he said, leaning down, his lips inches from yours. “I think you like the idea of being unable to fight back,” he chuckled, nose nuzzling into your cheek.

“Maybe I should teach you a lesson for disappearing on me for three nights. Making me worry about you.” You let out an involuntary whimper, feeling his hips grind against yours. Jisung let out a soft chuckle. “Oh, baby,” Jisung whispered as he ghosted his lips over the skin of your neck up to your ear.

“You really should have stayed away another night.”

You let out a squeal as Jisung pulled back, water splashing as he pulled you with him.

You surfaced, kicking under you to stay afloat as you looked around quickly. You turned back to the rocky ledge, to pull yourself up but as you got about halfway out of the water, Jisung resurfaced, pressing against your back and pinning you against the rocks.

You let out a cry of surprise as he chuckled in your ear, his hands wandering to your wetsuit and your eyes widened as you heard a rip of the fabric. ‘Did he just…’

When Jisung pulled back to admire his handiwork, you realized he’d ripped the entire back of your wetsuit open, completely ignoring the zipper right next to it.

You lowered yourself into the water and turned to look over your shoulder at him, finding half of his face submerged in the water. “What the hell!” you snapped. Jisung darted forward, pinning you against the rock wall. “Sorry, little fish,” he chuckled as his hands were quick to start pulling your wetsuit off, leaving you in just your swimsuit.

“That was my favorite wetsuit,” you pouted as you watched it sink into the depths of the pool. Jisung blocked your view, taking your face in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, leaning in until your lips were inches apart. You stared back at him, unmoving. He hesitated, a slight smirk crossing his features before he finally closed the distance, kissing you.

Your lips parted in a gasp allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth. Your own hands had moved to the rocks, trying to keep yourself from sinking. Jisung pulled back, lips ghosting across your cheek and kissing down the side of your neck.

You felt him nip at the string of your bikini top. “I could easily snap this,” he mused before continuing to kiss along your shoulder. You opened your mouth to retort but he pressed his hips against yours, ripping a moan from your throat instead.

Another roll of his hips and your hands slipped from the rocks. Jisung was quick to grab your wrists, placing your hands on his shoulders. “If you need to hold onto something, hold onto me,” he said, watching your face as he rutted against you again.

Your head was swimming, heat pooling in your lower belly as the shark creature grinded against you, one hand holding onto the rocky ledge while the other moved down to your thigh, holding your hips in place. The rocks in the wall behind you jutted out, pushing into your back but you couldn’t be bothered to care, not when Jisung was breathing heavily into your ear, teasing you with his words.

“You know I could pin you down and have my way with you right now if I wanted to, right?”

You let out another moan as he rutted against you. “What’s stopping you,” you breathed, your voice just audible over the sound of the water lapping against the rocks. Jisung chuckled softly, his breath fanning over your collar and neck. “Because,” he started, slowing his movements.

“I’m waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you.”

One of your hands moved up the back of his neck, tangling in his dark locks. “Then consider this my consent,” you whispered before pulling him into a heated kiss. It only lasted for a few moments before Jisung lifted you up out of the water, placing you on the edge of the rock ledge.

“Don’t move,” he ordered, reaching up and untying one side of your bikini bottoms, letting the material fall before untying the other side and grabbing your hips in his hands. You had no time to ask what he was doing before you felt his tongue rough against your clit.

“Oh shit,” you gasped, eyes fluttering shut, one hand moving to his hair. Jisung ignored your grip on him, merely licking slowly up your slit. “That steak tasted amazing,” he noted, his voice low and gravelly.

“But you taste divine.”

You let out another moan as his lips attached to your clit, teasing, flicking, and sucking on the sensitive nub. You felt the tips of his pointed nails digging slightly into the flesh of your thighs. “Oh shit,” you gasped as he nipped at your clit.

“J-Jisung!” you whined, back arching as he lapped at your clit. “Keep saying my name like that,” he groaned against you. “Sounds so good when you say it like that, baby.”

“I need you pliant,” he murmured, pulling back to look at your slit. “But I don’t wanna hurt you,” he added softly. “Spread your legs for me, cutie,” he instructed. “And keep them spread.”

You did as he asked, spreading your thighs, squeaking out a small yelp when he pushed your knees closer to you. “Hold right here,” he said, patting the backs of your knees. You replaced his hands and groaned as you felt his tongue against your slit.

“Relax for me,” you heard him mutter and you took a deep breath.

You felt the tip of his tongue push into your hole and both of you groaned; you at the intrusion and him at the taste and warmth of your cunt. You felt him ease more of his tongue into your walls and wondered if he’d been hiding the majority of his tongue.

You moaned, walls clenching as his tongue moved in and out of you slowly. “F-fuck. I didn’t know you could do that,” you whined. Jisung hummed against you, sending vibrations against your clit and you gasped out.

Just as quickly, he withdrew his tongue and pulled back. “I think that’s enough,” he said as you propped yourself up, chest heaving. “I’ll just have to take my time easing into you,” he added, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer.

You let out a yelp as your lower half fell into the water. “Turn around,” he growled, grabbing your hips and pushing you into position as you held onto the ledge. Jisung lifted you partially out of the water, holding you in place. “W-what’re you doing?”

“I’m going to fuck you, baby,” he chuckled. You felt something warm and wet grind against you and you let out a moan. “O-okay,” you said as he pressed the head of his cock against your slit. “It’s not too late to tap out,” he joked and you shook your head.

“No,” you retorted. “I want this.” 

Jisung hissed, the tip of his cock slipping into you and making you gasp at the intrusion. You hadn’t gotten to see it before he was pushing it into you but it felt huge. You moaned, your walls stretching to accommodate him as he slid in, inch by inch.

“Hold still,” you heard him whisper as he pinned you against the ledge. “What--FUCK!”

You cursed, gasping as he thrust forward, sheathing his entire length inside you with one motion.

“Oh fuck,” you groaned, knees bumping into the rock wall as Jisung bottomed out. “Hah, so t-tight,” you heard him grunt. “M’gonna fuck you so good,” he chuckled, resting his forearm over your back. “Now just stay still, baby,” he continued, slowly pulling back and snapping his hips forward, making you gasp.

“Fuck you feel good. I should have done this a lot sooner,” he mused, setting a steady pace, thrusting into you from behind. “J-Jisung,” you whimpered. You felt his breath as he leaned in close to your ear. “This was more fun when you fought back,” he panted. “So fight me.”

You tried to push yourself up but he just forced you back down. “Come on, baby,” he cooed. “You can do better than that. Beg me to stop,” he laughed, slamming into you, making you see stars with each thrust. “S-stop,” you stammered weakly.

Jisung laughed again, his breath hot and heavy against the back of your neck. “Is that the best you’ve got?” he asked. “Come on, pet,” he continued, grunting with effort. “Really beg me.”

S-stop, please,” you whimpered, finding a little more strength in your voice. You didn’t want him to stop though. Not when it felt so good. “That’s it,” Jisung groaned. “Keep it going. Beg me not to fuck you. Tell me you want me to let you go. Plead with me,” he growled.

You gasped as he gave you a hard thrust, stealing the words from your tongue and the breath from your lungs. “J-Jisung. Stop. This is wr-wrong. P-please s-uh-stop,” you moaned into the rocky surface. You noticed how your whines and pleas only spurred him on.

You tried again to push yourself up only for him to grab both of your wrists, forcing you back down against the rocks, pinning your arms behind your back with one hand. “You really think you can fight me off?” he scoffed, thrusts increasing in speed.

“You think you’re strong enough?”

You shook your head, moans slipping from your lips as your mind started to go blank. “That’s right, little fish,” he smirked. “You’re powerless against me. You can’t do anything. You’re completely at my mercy. This entire time you think you’ve been in control?”

He chuckled darkly. “You haven’t been in control of shit. I let you think you had the power here. You’re out of your depth, Y/N. You have no idea what you’re up against,” he growled, slowing his thrusts to deep rolls, making your eyes roll back and a low moan escape the back of your throat.

“I let you leave every night but you always come back to me,” he continued. “Why do you think that is?” he asked softly, continuing to grind against you, his cock lodged deep in your walls. “Because you’re mine,” he growled. “You’ve been mine from the moment you entered this cave and you’ll be mine when you leave ‘cause no matter how many times you leave after this…” he trailed off, licking against your pulse point.

“You’ll always come back to me.”

You let out a mix between a scream and a moan as you felt his sharp teeth pierce your skin. ‘He just bit you. You’re gonna bleed out, you idiot!’

Despite the sharp stinging pain, the bite was more superficial with only minimal bleeding. It was meant to scar you. To mark you. You were now marked as his. 

Upon sinking his teeth into your skin, Jisung felt your walls contract around his cock and he groaned, his thrusts regaining the same relentless pace from before, slamming into you repeatedly, savoring your cries of both pleasure and pain from the bite. It would heal. It wasn’t that deep anyway.

Your walls tightened, restricting his movement as he felt you cum and he coaxed you through it, whispering words of encouragement in your ear as you came down from your high. “That’s it, baby,” he whispered. “Such a good girl, taking my cock so well.”

You moaned in response as he kept going. “It’s my turn, little one,” he murmured. “Shhh, baby. It’s okay. Just let go. I’ve got you,” he added, keeping a firm hold on your wrists. “Gonna fill this cute little pussy with my cum and make you mine.”

He readjusted your hips so the rock wasn’t digging into your hips before chasing his own. The sound of skin on skin echoed around the small cavern, bouncing off the rock walls, mixing with your moans until Jisung finally let out a slew of curses, strung between moans as he came, burying his cock deep inside you and filling your cunt with his seed.

He knew it wouldn’t take. You were human after all. He couldn’t actually breed with you but damn did it feel good to pretend for a few minutes as he came down from his own orgasm, muttering into your ear about how you were bound to him forever and how cute you’d look carrying his child.

When the moment passed, Jisung inspected the bite wound to your shoulder, clicking his tongue. “I could have bitten harder,” he murmured as he released your arms. “It might not show once it heals,” he added as you pushed yourself up. “If it doesn’t show up,” you said, your voice hoarse.

“I guess you’ll just have to try again.”

Jisung smiled as you looked over your shoulder at him. “How about tomorrow?” he asked, eyes sparkling in the moonlight. You rolled your eyes. “I meant after it heals, you perverted sex fiend!”

Jisung pouted as you pushed him away, his cock slipping out of you and retracting back into his body as you shakily pulled yourself up onto the rock ledge. “But,” he started as you grabbed your bikini bottoms and turned to face him. “No buts,” you retorted. “Let me heal first, otherwise you might kill me.”

Jisung watched as you put your swimsuit back on, retying the strings. He watched as you moved back to sit on the edge, dipping your legs into the water before moving to push your thighs apart and slot between them, resting his arms on the tops of your thighs.

He smiled a toothy grin when you looked down, meeting his gaze before he spoke.

“So, the day after tomorrow?”

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

[trustmypoison]

Enhypen and their 'oh' moment

Requested? Yes! Request: ‘so happy you’re willing to write for other groups 💞 my request is enhypen members falling in love / realizing they’re falling in love’

Jungwon Like most group leaders, he carries a lot on his shoulders. He probably feels that he can’t share that responsibility with anyone else from time to time. Still, he finds himself opening up about his stresses one night and he lets you comfort him. He likes to be strong for everyone else and wants to appear unaffected, but he feels safe appearing affected in front of you because you’re so gentle about it. It’s when he’s got his head in your lap after he unloads all his worries that he has his little ‘oh’ moment.

Heesung He might come off as reserved and even a little bit cold at first (someone please prove me wrong though!!). You might even think he doesn’t like you very much because he’s perhaps not as outwardly expressive as others. But trust that he has a soft spot for you. He might not let some of the younger members get away with something, but you can right in front of him and he’ll never say a word. If one of the younger members throws a fit about this preferential treatment, he’ll blink a few times and think, ‘huh. That’s weird.’ Largely unaffected by this revelation though.

Jay I think he’d be one of those that knows pretty early on that he’s falling. Within the first few times he meets you, he recognizes what’s happening in slow motion, so there’s no big ‘oh’ moment. Just a series of little confirmations along the way that his assumption was correct. You do the slightest, most monotonous thing and he thinks. ‘Yep, I think I’m in love.’ It’s not this big, scary feeling like some of the other members might experience, but rather a comforting feeling to fall.

Jake Now he might be shocked. Say you aren’t even dating but you share some mutual friends. He sees you playing with Layla in the other room and one of his group members calls him out for his staring, and maybe even calls him ‘lovesick’. Totally flabbergasted because what do you mean?? It’s not like that?? His group members’ faces tell him everything he needs to know - which is that he’s a blind idiot (affectionate).

Sunghoon Ok, he realizes because he’s jealous. Regardless of whether you are dating or not, he’ll see someone get way too close to you, or hear someone talk about how they’re going to ask you out, and he’s panicking!! Cannot determine right away why he’s panicking because he’d like to think he’s not a very possessive person. But here we are. The ‘oh’ moment is when he realizes he perked up as soon as your attention was back on him. Might just confess in a roundabout way right then, like, “don’t pay attention to anyone else, okay? Only me!” A big baby.

Sunoo lol he says he hates annoying things. Then lets you annoy him continuously. Doesn’t say a word when you poke his cheek or boop his nose. Doesn’t complain when you keep him up with your yapping in the middle of the night. Doesn’t think the first thing of bailing on any other plans because you’re bored. This will be a super slow realization, but when it finally does hit him, it’s because HE said he missed you and you laugh and say, “but we’re constantly together!” ‘Oh’ indeed.

Niki To no one’s surprise, Niki has maknae privileges and totally milks it for all it’s worth. He’s totally fine with being babied by his members. He’s used to being protected, but feels rather protective of you. Might even speak up to his hyungs if they mess with you too much, to which they’ll tease him about. Thing is, he might start swinging on them if they don’t stop!! The thought that it’s anymore than friends doesn’t compute for him until it’s spelled out for him by one of his group members, probably in a sarcastic way - like, “Fine, fine, we’ll stop messing with your girl.” Never occurred to him that you could be his until that moment.

[elizaleclerc]

l&ds headcanons

a hc post for all of the guys (except caleb im just waiting til we get his lore tbh)

Sylus:

would definitely get into twitter discourse over the most random topics. the man has strong opinions and will express them in whatever means necessary, even if that's arguing with a random on twitter.

sylus would find some odd type of joy in doing taxes, especially your taxes. he would stay up day and night crunching the numbers and going over the forms multiple times. hes just weird like that.

he would sing along to a musical with no shame, and YES he knows every word are you kidding? it's even worse if you are watching one with him because he will assign characters to everyone and force everyone to act out the parts.

listens to multiple genres of music and has hundreds of playlists for every mood. yall can debate on whether hes a spotify or apple kinda guy.

Zayne:

he likes using a nightlight to sleep and hatesss if there's not a fan going in the room at night. no i will not elaborate further.

not lore accurate obv but he gives oldest son energy- even better if he's the oldest child overall. the smooth sarcasm and protectiveness of the ppl he loves?!?!? screams oldest child behavior.

he's the type to leave a social interaction and rethink/regret everything they said and did to the point of no return. this shit would keep him up at night. even social interactions years ago haunts him.

he'll never let himself drink energy drinks (doctor behavior), not only bc he knows the bad side effects but you genuinely do not want to see him hyped up on caffeine.

Rafayel:

adversely to sylus, rafayel would get canceled on twt so fast. i imagine him beefing with sylus in a long thread and as a result of some outlandish opinion rafayel would get canceled. can't blame him, he's sassy asf and no one can stop him.

he has one playlist full of his liked songs and just hits shuffle whenever he wants to listen to music (freak behavior in my opinion)

if anyone criticizes his artwork he will intensely plot their demise in his head instead of hearing them out. this queen has an ego what can i say.

seems like the type to have had an "emo" phase in their preteens and would exclusively listen to top or paramore.

Xavier:

xavier has an insane long term memory but an awful short term memory. yes he can tell u what happened on a certain day three years ago but don't even think about asking him what he had for breakfast (he probably wasn't awake early enough for it anyway)

unlike zayne, you'd have to pry energy drinks out of xavier's hands. he cannot get enough. he's so sleepy all the time he pretty much can't function without some sort of regular caffeine intake.

xavier believed in santa probably way longer than any of his peers to the point where it was a little concerning. he's just full of holiday spirit.

i can see him not liking being alone for too long because even though he seems sleepy and quiet he really likes to yap ur ear off. at the end of the day he really loves company- even if its just the two of you sitting in comfortable silence.

fin <3

[stvrnioloslvt]

the estes method - Matt Sturniolo

bf!matt × gf!reader

PART TWO HERE

disclaimer: the following content might not be suitable for everyone. please, read the triggers list before reading this story. also, english is not my first language, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless!

triggers: ghosts, shadow figures, the estes method, kinda scary? (not a lot though, i'm the first scaredy cat out there)

inspired by the trailer of this week's episode of hell week. and yes, sam and colby make an appearance in the story. enjoy!

「 ★ ★ ★ 」

i knew it was a bad idea. i mean, as much as i loved haunted places and acting like a ghosthunter, i knew it had complications that i was not prepared for.

but when the triplets were invited by sam and colby for their new episode of hell week they had no problem in tagging me along. and, frankly speaking, i was excited. the last time i filmed with them nothing much had happened, so i was curious to discover what would happen this time. however, nothing could have prepared me for what awaited ahead of me.

1:30 a.m.

"guys, can i do the estes method?"

"you really love that method, don't you?" the cam that sam was holding went straight to my face, startling me. i chuckled as colby gave me the ok to perform it.

"by the way, am i the only one that has been seeing things since i stepped foot in this place?"

five heads turned towards me, eyes wide open.

"what did you just say?" asked nick, turning pale.

"like, shadows that aren't ours moving on the walls, figures running from one room to another...is it only me?" at that point i felt like i was going crazy: the boys didn't have that much of a different reaction, and the camera was still in my face.

"so basically what you're saying is that you have been seeing things for over an hour and you haven't said anything?" sam and colby exchanged knowing stares, probably making a mental annotation to check the footage to see if they caught anything.

"i mean, even when i saw those shadow figures right in front of you, you didn't say anything, so i thought that i was hallucinating. but like...now it's worse" i ended the sentence with a whisper, as the camera panned to the triplets' faces.

"are they touching you? talking?" at this point chris just went back and forth, watching out in case he missed something.

"no, nothing, just circling us...or me. i'm not sure. hey, do you think it might be because i drew like tons of protective sigils on me?"

"YOU WHAT?" screamed sam and colby. i stumbled back, not expecting such a strong reaction.

"yeah, i figured that it could have been dangerous to come here without some sort of protection. i drew them on the triplets too, one per each, but no one is seeing what i am seeing. do you think that they're messing with me because they cannot touch me or whatsoever?"

"could be. messing with your mind instead of directly attacking you on a physical level is definitely an option. just...let us know if something happens, ok?"

i nodded. and, as we moved through the building, i prayed to whatever existed above us to keep us safe.

i turned towards matt, who was looking at me with a worried gaze.

"baby, are you sure you are ok? we can step outside if you need to"

i smiled and tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek. our hands brushed together as matt grabbed it to keep me close to him.

"eww disgusting"

"fuck off, nick"

"you too, bitch"

2:17 a.m.

"ok guys, now that the triplets have done the estes method it is y/n's turn" as colby spoke to the camera, matt put the blindfold on my eyes. he bent down to whisper in my ear a shy "i love you", then he put the headphones around my neck.

"y/n, are you ready?"

there was something heavy in the air. something wrong, something scary. i could feel the ways the boys were tensing up, anticipating something, anything. i felt my heart beating faster, my hands cold and sweaty as i saw pitch black in front of me.

with a raspy voice i replied to sam "yeah, i'm ready."

and so it begun.

the estes method

"chris is sitting next to you. if anything happens, tap on his leg"

i took a big breath in as the headphones fell snugly on my ears.

immediately i was hit with a multitude of noises: radio interferences, tv static noise, every once in a while i caught on the voice of a woman. she sounded like she was hurting.

"one"

the thing i hated the most about this method was that from the moment in which the headphones started blasting sounds it was as if you were alone in a parallel world. no matter how hard i squinted my eyes, or how much i tried to block out those noises, i just couldn't see or hear the people that were all around me.

"no"

"pain"

"hurt"

that voice, that woman...she was scared for her life. every time she spoke i could hear her whimper, almost crying.

"guys i think it is a woman speaking and she sounds like she is in pain. i don't know if it is related to what you've been asking but i thought you would want to know it"

the noise in my ears started getting stronger, higher. i put my head in my hands that were resting on my knees, then gripped the headphones so i could hear the woman better. there was something sinister about the new noise, it seemed like it was trying to cancel out the spirit in pain.

the best way i could describe it is as if a war had started and none of the two opponents could prevail on the other. i felt my head aching in an attempt to just focus on something, anything. but as soon as i tried to do so, the noises would get even stronger, leaving me panting as if i just ran a marathon. i felt someone's hand grab my thigh and shake it hard enough for me to feel it. somebody else tried to take the headphones out of my grip, but i held them in place.

finally, i managed to hear something.

"help!" screamed the woman.

and as soon as that word left my mouth, all the noise stopped, except for the tv static noise. my breath slowed down, and i loosened up the grip on the headphones. just as i was about to ask the boys if they unplugged the device, a growling, low voice screamed in my ears "go away!"

i screamed, terrified, as i ripped the headphones away from my ears and fell on the ground in front of me. i remember calling out matt's name, and he rushed to take me in his embrace as i cried terrified of what just happened.

chaos ensured: the boys scrumbled all around me to understand what i heard, but as soon as they did that colby called out a figure standing on the doorway.

"let's go outside, we can't stay here anymore!" someone screamed, and just like that matt picked me up bridal style and ran out with the others.

"nick, open the fucking car door so i can place her inside"

"on it"

the car

"baby, are you okay?"

"fuck, she's terrified. y/n. y/n! nod if you can hear us"

i nodded. just lightly, but enough for them to notice.

"baby, can you tell us what happened? what did you hear?"

i pulled matt inside the car so he could hold me while i tried to explain in the best way possible everything without being hindered by the fear that was running through my veins.

"that's crazy. guys, i've never seen anything like that before" said colby.

"for sure. it seemed like she was in a trance. y/n, did you feel us try to take those headphones off of you ears? you had a death grip on them, seriously"

"yeah, i felt it" i whispered, still shaking in matt's embrace. the poor boy could do nothing but hold me and caress my hair in hopes that it might help me to cool down.

"there was like...noise. a lot. at first i heard the woman speaking, then something else came up and started to try cancel out the woman. the last thing she said was help, and then..."

"and then what, baby?"

"and then there was silence. no noise at all, but i still couldn't hear you guys. i was going to ask if you had unplugged the headphones but..."

was i shaking again?

chills ran down my spine at the memory of that awful, awful voice.

"c'mon baby you can do it. say it"

"all of a sudden something growled in my ear. i don't even know how to explain it, it seemed like it didn't come from the headphones. he growled go away but i heard it so fucking clearly and strong that it felt like a scream right in my ears. i'm so sorry, i didn't want to scare you, i swear"

a heavy silence doomed upon us as the boys exchanged worried looks. matt held me tighter, in an attempt to protect me from my own memories.

"we believe you, y/n, we're just shocked that this happened...have we ever lived something like this before, sam?"

"no, never. i had chills, that was fucking terrifying"

"guys i think we should wrap it up here and go home"

"yeah. matt, do you want me to drive you guys home? so you can stay in the back with y/n"

"yes, please. let's go, i really don't want to spend another second in this place."

「 ★ ★ ★ 」

would you guys like a part 2? just pure fluff, matt taking care of y/n. let me know in the comments <3

all pictures were taken from pinterest. credits to the owners!

𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃/𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊. 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐎 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓

[yanoverload]

Yandere Incubus

I hope the company he is named after doesn't sue me LOL

I wuv him very much ok

Supernatural beings have always been in touch with humanity, but the meetings were so sparse many didn't even believe it.

That is until recently. Supernatural entities started to get in contact with the people out of nowhere, and no one can comprehend why.

The only ones that anticipated this were those in the path of sorcery and witchcraft. Humans that forgot what makes them human for the path of energy harvesting and spells.

Witches have always had good relations with the unknown, which give them the title of evil, or demonic. When it was the contrary. Witches keep them at bay to protect those not of the path.

One example is succubus and incubus. When one is brought to life, their first meal is recommended to be with a witch, a human that can withstand their soul draining. The witch teaches them everything they need to know to go their merry way, and if push comes to shove, help the demon again so no human has to die. A commensalism of sorts.

You were one of those witches. However, you seem to be in a bit of a predicament.

The first incubus you ever helped seemed normal, and went their way after the deed was done, only to return to your house a few days later.

And again, and again, and again.

The books never taught you what to do about this situation. These types of demons were very independent apart from their feeding necessities, so why keep coming back just to keep staring at you? Weirdo.

You thought of exorcising him before, asking a more experient witch what to do but....

"Master, have this! It's from my latest vict- I mean human! I stole  got this watch from them! Can you make me your familiar now?~"

Is that a gold watch full of diamonds around it?!!!

Well.... You suppose he can stay a bit longer.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Some more facts about him! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You decided to call him Ramune, because he always seemed to hunt the drink from your fridge. You can shake the bottle and he will show up from miles away just like you would a cat.

His blood is a dark purple, almost black.

He has a few tattoos in his body, including a womb tattoo. They light up in the dark.

Wears girl clothes all the time.

Obsessed with anything grape flavoured. Only human food he eats.

Asks you to do his braids when he comes by.

Has a pear like body. All hips and ass, almost no boob.

His ears can twitch, along with his wings and tail.

You saw his nails cut through metal once. You still have nightmares of what he could do if he decided to scratch your back in your....intimate moments.

Really wants to be your familiar, even though demons cannot be a witch's familiar.

An utter and complete brat.

The tag on his choker has your preferred title (Sir, Mistress, Daddy, Mommy, etc)

Gives you gifts from his victims. He's very popular with the rich it seems.

Height: 168 cm (5’6 feet)

Would make a porn account if you ask. Or even a dark web one to do....you know.

He fake tans and has bikini marks... Yup.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Deathless Death

Pairing: Osferth x nameless female character (third person perspective) Warnings: Religious guilt. Smut. Fingering. Slight exhibitionism. Oral (f receiving). Gratuitous Hozier references. Word count: 3.5k

Summary: When a young woman's father is killed following Skade's attack on the priests of Alton, Osferth agrees to take responsibility for her, feeling a need to protect a fellow Christian. However, the longer they travel together the deeper they have each other questioning their faith. Based on this request.

Author's note: No gods, no masters, no tag lists. Only scabs community label fics. If you find yourself tempted to slap a label on this, please block me instead.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. This is a belief that Osferth has always clung firmly to, it is the only way he can justify his existence; the result of a union between a serving girl and a deeply religious king who, so embarrassed by his extramarital indiscretion, had ensured that Osferth was enrolled as a novice monk as soon as he was old enough, and refused to ever acknowledge him as his son.

Osferth is a bastard, yet he must have a purpose, for God does not give life without intent. He feels he has found his reason for being when he crosses paths with Uhtred, a man his uncle, Leofric, had always spoken kindly of. He offers to serve Uhtred as a warrior, though he has no fighting experience. This is the divine path chosen for him, he is certain of it. He clutches the hilt of his sword as tightly as he often grips the cross that sits around his neck in times of anguish, and does his best to be brave in spite of how afraid he feels.

Reluctantly he learns the ways of ale and women, surprised when the Lord does not smite him down for his sins. He surmises that he has misinterpreted the teachings of the Holy Book; a life of piety does not have to mean an existence endured in abstinence. Though his faith in God never once falters, he grows to enjoy, and even seek out, the pleasures he’d once mistaken for temptations. They are not a means for him to stray from the light, but another outlet in which he can revere it and give thanks.

It is not until he reaches the village of Alton with Uhtred and his men that he discovers the true purpose of the journey he has embarked upon. A group of Danes with a seeress named Skade in their midst has attacked the village, killing all of its holy men.

That is where he finds her. Such a fragile looking thing, sobbing her heart out while huddled behind a vegetable cart, clutching her cross in much the same way he used to do with his.

“Don’t be afraid.” He reassures her calmly, crouching so his face is level with hers.

“Are you an angel?” She asks tearfully, her eyes wide and imploring.

Osferth cannot help but smile at that. For you I’d like to be.

With gentle persuasion, Uhtred agrees to allow Osferth to bring the girl along, provided he is responsible for her. He is all too happy to agree to that. Her mother is long dead and the attack on Alton has killed her father, she has no one else. He was meant to meet her, he feels it in his heart.

Naturally, she is fearful of the others, her only prior encounter with heathens had ended in the death of her only living relative and left her all alone in the world. She clings to Osferth, but he does not mind it. He sees a lot of himself in her, how scared he’d been when he’d first left the monastery to accompany Uhtred. But if she is anything like him, she is resilient and she will pull through this.

As the weeks pass, her face becomes less marred by fear and grief. She is beautiful, Osferth realises. He has been grateful to have someone to bow his head in prayer with, however, the way that she snuggles next to him for warmth in front of the campfire, how closely she leans back against his chest as they ride together and the proximity in which she lays her bed roll next to his no longer feel so innocent, at least not to him.

He feels ashamed for harbouring such illicit thoughts about her. Her piety makes him feel like he is the worst kind of sinner. She does not partake in ale and stays quiet when the rest of the group share lewd jokes. Where her prayers are earnest and heartfelt, his feel flimsy and disingenuous. He would renounce the Lord and worship her instead if she asked it of him. The idea makes his stones ache. When she shivers and huddles to him for warmth it occurs to him that he’d burn everything in his path if only for her to never feel cold again.

Guilt blooms heavily in his chest at the thoughts and feelings she elicits from him, especially when she looks at him, her eyes are always filled with gratitude and adoration. He has grown to crave her gaze, despite the fact that she will never view him as anything more than a protector.

When it becomes too much for him to bear, he seeks the comfort of the nearest brothel. With each thrust into the whore beneath him, he imagines her face, how those hands that fold so delicately in prayer would feel clinging to his shoulders, how soft and supple her flesh would be against the wiry hardness of his own. When he reaches his peak, picturing her, he comes harder than he ever has before in his life. It feels like he has died and approached the very gates of Heaven.

If that is how it feels merely to think about her, he wonders what it would be like to actually be inside of her. It would surely feel holy and sacred, a pleasure not meant for mere mortals. For the second time that night he craves her, and so he seeks out another woman offering her services in the pleasure house.

He pays them well, and he is not unkind to them. He is convinced that that is why they fight over him the next day. He is mortified, especially when he sees that she is watching. She will think him godless, sinful. He hopes that the Lord is merciful and does not intend for her to leave him. He sends a silent prayer of thanks when she remains by his side in the days that follow.

It is not until Uhtred, Sihtric and Finan pay a visit to Alfred, and leave Osferth and her back at camp that he realises they’ve never truly been alone together. He shifts uncomfortably on the log he sits upon, glancing up from the flames of the fire every so often at her, unsure of what to say. She eyes him curiously the entire time, the warmth from the fire and the sunny afternoon meaning she does not snuggle to him as she usually would. Secretly he is disappointed.

“Do you still believe in God?” She asks quietly.

Her gaze is timid and as Osferth turns to meet her eye, she looks to her lap as though ashamed to have asked.

“Of course I do, my lady,” He replies softly, smiling at her. He wants more than anything for her to look at him again, there is something reverent in the way she regards him that makes his chest swell and his cock twitch. He could die happily with a single glance his way from her. “My faith has never waivered.”

“You are not as devout as the people from back home.” Her fingers pinch and stroke over the fabric of her skirt as she says this, not looking up at him as he sits across from her.

“I used to be,” He admits with a slight shrug, wondering if she thinks less of him for his perceived lack of faith. “I suppose travelling with Uhtred has taught me that faith does not mean deprivation. The Lord made life for living.”

She nods, her voice barely above a whisper, as her eyes flicker to his. “Is that why you visit brothels, and why those women fight over you?”

He feels his cheeks heat up as she asks this, and suddenly it’s his turn to look away, embarrassed. He takes a moment to consider his reply, not wanting to sully her innocence with vulgarity, or say anything that might frighten her. “I was celibate when I was a monk…” He begins awkwardly. “I’m not anymore. Truthfully, partaking in the pleasures of the flesh feels like the closest experience to meeting God without dying.”

He knows he has turned pink all the way to the tips of his ears by the time he finishes speaking, he cannot bear to look at her for fear of what he might see in her eyes. She must think he is utterly depraved.

The moment of silence between them hangs thick and uncomfortable before she finally breaks it. “If that is why you are fought over…then I am eager to find out for myself.”

His head snaps up, his eyes wide, stunned and unsure of if he has heard correctly, it seems too forward a statement for such a pious little thing like her. However, her stare is steady and unwavering as it meets his, causing his breath to hitch. He hadn’t misheard her and she meant every word.

The cracking of a twig causes them to finally look away from each other, as they turn to see the others returning. He has never been displeased to see any of them before, but can’t help but wish they’d left it a little longer to come back.

Her words play on a loop in Osferth’s thoughts. I am eager to find out for myself. He frantically strokes himself to release that night, once more plagued by visions of her, the silkiness of her hair, her scent, the dulcet tone of her giggle. There is no sweeter innocence in his mind than the gentle sin that he shares with her.

There is a storm the following evening. Though they are camped beneath a thatch of trees, protected from the worst of the downpour, it does little to block out the boom of the thunder and the crackle of lightning. She whimpers at every crash, clearly frightened, and Osferth’s heart aches for her. He’d do anything to make sure the expression of fear and sadness she wore for the first few weeks they traveled together never returns.

He pulls her tight to him, wrapping the furs around them both as they sit around the fire with the others. They don’t bat an eye at the familiarity between the two, understanding of the fact that she finds comfort in a fellow Christian’s presence and that Osferth is simply offering kindness to someone in need of it.

She melts into his embrace and he allows his hands to wander over her beneath the furs, tracing the curves of her through her dress. He has never dared to touch her like this before and she looks up at him questioningly, though makes no move to stop him.

Emboldened by her silent consent, he strokes her hair with his free hand, while allowing the other to push up her skirt. She gasps at this and buries her face in his chest. He holds her tighter while Uhtred, Finan and Sihtric continue their conversation, all assuming she is just startled by the storm that rages above them.

Her inner thighs are velvety smooth as his fingertips trace over the flesh of them. Not even angel’s wings feel as divine as this, he thinks. As the pads of his digits make contact with the gusset of her smallclothes he draws in a shaky inhale at finding that it is damp with her arousal. It darkens the desire within him to have confirmation that she is just as affected by him as he is by her, and he pushes her underclothes to the side, stroking through the slickness of her folds.

She shudders against him, her breathing growing heavier and he quietly shushes her, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. He looks up to see Finan give him a sympathetic smile, clearly assuming Osferth is comforting her, before he is distracted by Uhtred swatting him softly with the back of his hand in order to gain back his attention.

Osferth looks back down at her, she is peeking up at him from where her head rests against his chest and in the flicker of the firelight he can see that her pupils are wide with lust. It is a look he has seen on the faces of many of the women within the pleasure houses he’s visited over the years. To see it burning bright within the eyes of someone so pure is enough to drive him to madness with the desire it awakens within him.

Shielded from view beneath the furs, he circles her pearl with precision, silently delighting in the way she clutches at his robes and bucks slightly up at his hand. He feels she’s growing close when her body tenses against his and she stares up at him, worry evident in how her brows pinch together. Poor thing has never peaked before.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He murmurs, coaxing her to let go.

He cradles her head to his chest as she trembles and gasps against him, before finally going limp. Osferth withdraws his hand, allowing her to slump sleepily against him, smiling softly down at her as her eyes drift closed.

He knows in that moment that she will be both his salvation and his damnation, and he welcomes both with open arms.

It is another week before they are left alone together, and life carries on as normal. They do not speak of what happened beneath the furs on the night of the storm, despite the fact that it’s all Osferth can think about.

The others head away from camp one evening to scout the locations of a possible attack from the Danes. It is too dangerous for her to come along, so Osferth remains behind so she is not left alone. This time she seats herself next to him, and he feels his mouth run dry, heart hammering in his chest as he struggles to think of what to say to her.

He startles when she places her hand on his. “You are right,” She says with a shy smile. “It felt…like something divine…when you touched me.”

Osferth swallows thickly. “You liked it?” He asks, already knowing the answer, but desperate to hear her say it.

She nods, chewing her lip nervously. “I did. Does that make me a sinner?”

His eyes widen in mild horror that she could ever consider herself such. “No, that is something you could never be.”

“I am not repentant though,” She muses, her eyes slowly meeting his. “I have thought of nothing else.”

“That is only natural.” He tells her, suddenly aware of how close their faces are, noses almost brushing. His gaze flits to her lips momentarily. Osferth has never kissed a woman before, though he has fucked plenty; the ones he exchanges coin with do not allow such intimate gestures. He desperately wants to kiss her though.

He is surprised by her boldness when she leans in first. It is a quick peck to his lips, which she rapidly withdraws from, looking sheepish. He cups her cheek, coaxing her back and presses his mouth to hers with more pressure. She softens against the movement and for a moment it feels as though time has stopped for Osferth. There is only her. It is a kiss riddled with youthful inexperience and yet he does not think there has ever been anything better.

“Will you…” She mutters against his lips, clearly uneasy with attempting to ask for what she wants.

“Touch you?” He finishes for her.

“Yes,” She whispers, “I want to feel…” She places a hand over her face, giggling. “I have never laid with a man before. I do not know what to ask for.”

“It’s okay.” He reassures her. “I understand.” Osferth coaxes her to sit on his lap as she had the night of the storm, only this time there are no furs to cover them, and he rucks her skirt up around her hips, rather than slipping his hand beneath it.

“Take these off for me.” He says, plucking at her smallclothes.

She does as he instructs and he pulls her tight against him, her back flush with his chest as his arm snakes around her waist, dipping his hand between her legs. She is wet already and he cannot help the groan that escapes him as his fingers make contact with her core.

He circles her bud slowly and she clamps her mouth shut, cutting off the mewl that threatens to spill forth.

“You don’t have to be quiet this time.” He tells her, as she turns her face into his neck, her breath coming in hot puffs against his skin.

Tentatively he dips a finger into her entrance, conscious of the fact that she has never had anything inside of her before - the thought that he is the first makes him swell painfully hard against her rear as it presses back into his lap. Her grip on his digit as he inserts it is vice-like and he wonders how she’d feel squeezing around the length of him, if she ever allows him to take things that far.

He sets a steady rhythm of dragging his finger against a rough patch inside of her that causes sounds that are prettier than any of the songs he’s heard at æfensang to spill forth from her, while circling her pearl with his thumb.

She squirms against him, her arm reaching above and behind her to wrap around his neck, her fingers scrabble desperately at the back of his robes. Her jaw is slack, her eyes glassy and Osferth believes that if the Heavens could speak then her wanton cries of pleasure would be their mouthpiece.

She falls apart with a violent shudder, clenching ceaselessly around his finger and he withdraws it slowly as she begins to calm, continuing to hold her close. Though he is pleased to have brought her to peak, he feels disappointed that the moment is over so soon. He wants, needs, longer to enjoy her.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispers to her, pressing his face to her hair. “Will you allow me to taste you?”

“Taste me?” She asks, confusion etched across her pretty features. “I do not know what you mean.”

“I will show you.” He tells her, ushering her off of him and laying down. “Come here.”

There is no question in Osferth’s mind that he would ever allow her to lay upon the ground, she is too good for that. He will gladly let her sit atop him so that she never has to experience that indignity or discomfort.

He guides her to straddle him, pushing her upwards towards his face, but she falters.

“Osferth, I’ll crush you!” She protests, hovering above him.

“You won’t, my lady.” He tells her with a soft chuckle, tugging insistently at her thighs.

She relents, hovering over his face. “What are you going to…oh!”

He cuts her off, gripping her outer thighs and runs the flat of his tongue against her centre. He can taste the remnants of her previous climax and hums at the sensation. She is sweeter than honeyed wine, an essence so pure it must be holy.

Tugging her flush against his face he laps at her like a man starved, sucking harshly against her pearl, before licking hungrily through the slick that gathers as she whines and writhes above him. If there is a Heaven then he has found it between her thighs and never wants to leave.

He strains painfully against his breeches beneath his robes as she begins to lose control, grinding against each flick of his tongue. He knows she will not last long, already sensitive from his earlier attention and so he savours each moment; her taste, her scent, the feel of her against his mouth and how she moves against him. She is a vision of beauty beyond comprehension as she sits astride him, thread thrown back, moans of ecstasy offered up to the night sky.

She was created in the image of all things good and pure, and his journey so far has led him to her; she is made for him, of this he is certain as she reaches the apex of her pleasure. He swallows down her release like it’s communion wine. In her gratification he is cleansed, reborn.

Osferth lays her down carefully on her bed roll afterwards, covering her body with his own. She appears almost drunk as she gazes up at him, eyes heavy lidded with a soft smile upon her lips.

“My sweet girl,” He coos to her, softly stroking her face. “Can you take more? Will you let me inside?”

As she opens her mouth to answer, the raucous laughter of Finan can be heard in the near distance. The group is returning.

Osferth moves quickly away from her, laying down on his own sleeping mat, watching her as her eyes flutter closed. He hopes she will dream of him. He hopes they will have further opportunities to explore each other. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and she is the most precious mystery he has yet to encounter.

Part two | Series masterlist

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hiii I know you’ve talked about Lilia and Silver’s relationship before but how about Lilia and Malleus’s? He’s one of Lilia’s “sons” too, the first! I’d like to hear how you see their father-son relationship.

cbjsbsjwjskdn So strange!! I feel like I haven’t really talked much about Lilia and Malleus’s father-son relationship even though I’m such a sucker for family-related drama… Well, now is as good of a time as any!

***Please note: there are spoilers for 7-68+ in the main story; if you are comfortable with late book 7 spoilers, then please proceed with reading below the cut!***

Book 7 has made it pretty evident that Malleus thinks the world of Lilia and is willing to go to great lengths to protect him. Their bond is something that has been alluded to many times over prior to this point though!

Malleus has mentioned that Lilia trained him when he was younger. He did have formal tutors, but it was Lilia who instilled survival skills in him and taught him lessons unable to be learned through just a textbook. We get to observe one such scene via a flashback, which shows the aftermath of one of Malleus’s fits. The castle and various staff members were encased in ice, and along comes Lilia to fix things. He offers Malleus a bowl of shaved ice and invites him to eat with everyone (as the cause for his anger in the first place had been that his grandmother was busy with her duties and could no longer make time to each with him as promised). Lilia reminds Malleus that someone like him has great powers, so he has to wield it responsibly—otherwise he could have lost many of the people he is now sharing this snack with. (This is a very valid lesson since Malleus was capable of magic—and thus harming others—right out of the eggshell; he once singed Lilia’s hair with his flames.)

Malleus reports that Lilia has cut his hair for him (despite Malleus probably being able to go to a formal expert or the court’s hairdresser). Lilia has also sung to him at night and even taught Malleus how to play instruments.

It’s not clear to what extent Lilia was involved in his liege’s life, because even though he is established as a caretaker to Malleus, it was also revealed that Lilia was apparently banished from the capital city so they’d have to arrange to meet elsewhere. It’s known that Malleus would sometimes visit Lilia and baby Silver in their forest cottage, but again the frequency of these visits is unknown (Did he, like his headstrong mother, sneak out against the wishes of the senators?) I’d imagine that Malleus is kept fairly busy with studies to prepare him to ascend to the throne, but from the way Lilia describes raising Malleus, it sounds like he was with him quite frequently: “I always know exactly where he is. After all, I have been watching him since he was brushing eggshell off of his head.”

To this day, Lilia serves a similar guiding role, often acting as the facilitator between Malleus and his peers, as well as continuing to be a mentor to him. Malleus maintains his standoffish and difficult to approach aura at NRC, so it is Lilia who encourages him to engage with his peers. He delivers a holiday card to Malleus’s new friend who has taken up residence in Ramshackle. He invites Malleus as his plus one to Silk City in A Firelit Sky, wishing for him to see more of the world—even when disaster strikes and Lilia cannot accompany him. He extols the virtues of understanding and bonding with other races both in the main story (book 6) and in vignettes (Malleus’s Dorm Uniform). He gives Malleus a formal invitation to his farewell party (like, envelope and all!), because he knows just how much that would mean to him. Lilia has seen how a country looks when it has been ravaged by war and hate. He knows how a heart can grow bitter and resentful if left to fester in isolation. So he works his ass off to try and ensure that Malleus, the future of his country, can lead it to an era of peace and love that Lilia only got to experience with the passage of time. It could also be said that Lilia places a big emphasis on Malleus as their “future” since Lilia already suffered the loss of two close friends, Malleus’s parents.

Lilia seems to think of Malleus as a capable leader and one of great character, though perhaps marked with inexperience and a lack of worldly knowledge (which is why he pushes for Malleus to go out of his comfort zone). Most notably, he tells Leona in book 2: “[… ] with that sensitive ego of yours? That so quickly directs all your petty anger at your retainers... Well, the idea of you ever contending with a REAL king like our Malleus—is absolutely laughable. Even if you COULD defeat Malleus, so long as that's how you choose to conduct yourself? You would never be fit to rule!”

At times, Lilia has the habit of treating Malleus like a child. Something he does a lot is reassure his prince that it is okay to feel a certain way (usually frustrated or angry) and that Malleus is not capable of hiding the truth from his keen eyes. Lilia usually encourages Malleus to be more honest with his emotions and to take the chance to act like the child he is and enjoy his school life. Malleus tends to not take to the former very well, reminding Lilia that he is not a child and that he understands the circumstances. Despite these claims, he to hold Lilia in high regard and trusts him a great deal. Lilia currently occupies his vice dorm leader seat, which is implied to be handpicked by the dorm leader. Furthermore, Malleus trusts Lilia to fulfill the dorm leader duties that he is not capable of or able to, as we see Lilia attending dorm leader meetings and leading the Diasomnia freshmen during orientation.

Lilia is a more lax than Sebek and Silver when it comes to monitoring Malleus. He is of the belief that their prince needs his own independence and to experience life without people constantly breathing down his neck. Malleus, as we know, enjoys solitude like his midnight strolls throughout campus. In Leona’s Union Jacket vignettes, he also discusses the freedom of going out in public without an encourage accompanying him. Lilia is able to easily read and understand Malleus’s feelings in this regard (though he is good at reading all of the Diasomnia boys).

Malleus still cherishes the virtual pet that Lilia gifted him years ago. He takes care of it diligently, even though he is constantly faced with the cycle of Gao-Gao Dragon-kun/Roaring Draco growing up and leaving the nest. According to Malleus’s Labwear vignettes, he considers the virtual pet one of his most important treasures.

The two are able to pal around with each other despite holding the other in such high regard. When Malleus and Lilia are placed on opposite teams for Beans Day, they find fun in roughhousing and relish in the challenge (not really paying attention to the fact that their sheer power and speed is on a whole different level than that of the other students). They also served as co-conspirators in Endless Halloween Night, something which upset the other students and they both apologized for. Mischief isn’t entirely off the plate for this duo!

Malleus grew up without his parents (and his grandmother often kept away by her royal duties), so it’s possible that he latched onto Lilia as a parental figure. He is shown to be protective of Lilia both in vignettes and in the main story. For example, in Lilia’s PE Uniform vignette, Rook is chatting with Lilia and indicates that he is interested in Lilia as his hunting quarry—but Malleus throws the ball meant for long throwing at Rook, just narrowly missing his nose. “Perhaps he suspected that you were picking on little old me,” Lilia suggests. However, the example I’m sure we’re all familiar with of Malleus being protective of Lilia is book 7… when he decides it would be better you force everyone to have happy dreams instead of accepting a reality that changes and forces you to say good-bye to your loved ones. Malleus explicitly states that he is taking these actions so he “doesn’t lose [Lilia]”. Indeed, it is Lilia deciding to drop out of NRC and retire to the Land of Crimson Long that was the impetus for Malleus’s blot to kick into overdrive. When Lilia “wakes” from the dream, Malleus is eager to keep him in it. He offers to come up with a new dream, desperate and intent on keeping Lilia trapped there.

Malleus holds a lot of weight for Lilia too. When Lilia is pulled into a dream world fastened by Malleus’s magic to guarantee a “happy ending”, Lilia dreams of… an era of war? At first, Silver and co. find this to be strange because war isn’t something you tend to associate with happiness. It’s not until far later that Silver realizes what the real “happiest moment in [his father’s] life” is: the moment of Malleus finally hatching from his egg. Previously, Malleus had been very picky and rejecting the magic offered to him by others, even his own grandmother. This led to a dire situation where he was at risk of dying in his shell, as a dragon’s egg needs infusions of love and magic in order to be viable. In offering up much of himself—including a chunk of his own lifespan—Lilia helped Malleus hatch. To Lilia, this was his happiest—not because he “loves” Malleus more than Silver, but because Malleus hatching as a result of Lilia’s magic is affirming to Lilia that he is capable of parental love. This was a concern he communicated to Meleanor before she parted from this world, that he wasn’t sure he could look after Malleus in her stead because he’s an orphan and has never experienced what it is like to be loved… so he can’t have the capacity to love either. Meleanor reassures him though! If Lilia can love her and Raverne, then surely he can also bring himself to love their child. All these years, Lilia has never thought himself capable of “true love”—not even when he finds an infant Silver later, abandoned in a briar covered castle. But in that moment, when Malleus hatched, a miracle happened, and that miracle was the result of Lilia’s love.

This brings me to one final point about Lilia and Malleus’s relationship: how self-sacrificial Lilia is. Lilia hides a LOT of information from his loved ones, including Silver and Sebek, and instead chooses to accept the emotional burden of knowing himself. He does it with good intention, not wanting his children to be hurt by the scars of the past, but in a way that closes the boys off from fully understanding where they come from and Lilia’s own emotions. This is behavior that continues into present day, including Lilia being in a rush to leave to spare his boys the pain of a prolonged farewell. (I talk more about this aspect of Lilia’s character here, so I would advise reading that if you are interested in this topic.)

To conclude, Malleus and Lilia both highly respect and care for one another. Their bond is a strong one, and that’s perhaps why Malleus is so determined to cling to it—Lilia is one of the few intimate and meaningful connections he has.

[meta-squash]

I think two of the most important things about Jack Harkness, two things that inform almost everything he does and the choices he makes, are this: that he is a soldier NOT a leader, and that his entire life since childhood has been awash in survivor's guilt (and his whole existence after becoming immortal is an even more extreme version of survivor's guilt).

Jack is not a natural leader. He can think on the fly and he's good at getting people to listen to him, but he's not good at control, or at being objective. He's a natural second in command, he's a soldier. He was brought up to do what other people told him to, and to improvise if he had to (Time Agency, etc). But I really don't think he wants to be the leader of Torchwood. Unfortunately, everything about him means that he has to be. He knows from experience that others having control over him is dangerous, others knowing about his immortality while he's a subordinate to them is dangerous, and he also knows that his own immortality gives him an advantage as a leader. But I don't think he's good at leading. He tries to be. But he's fumbling along, in a time period he's not native to and a planet he's not native to and an unfathomable lifespan, and as charming as he is I think he's often not good with people. He's detached where he should be personal and emotional where he should be detached (or at least more level-headed). He's often too extreme or not harsh enough when it comes to things like discipline or dealing with the problems/traumas/mistakes of his employees or even civilians. He can't handle his employees seeing him uncertain/vulnerable and it makes for huge problems over and over again.

But all of this does make sense because I think in the back of Jack's mind there's always this wheel spinning, these gears turning and turning and calculating the impact and trauma each of his actions or decisions or the events around him are going to have on his own emotions for far longer than normal humans tend to consider. Because the catalyst for any part of the life we see him leading is survivor's guilt. He lost his father and his brother on the same day, joined the military and lost his best friend, joined the Time Agency and lost his memories (and maybe thinks he did something terrible). Then he died, and when Rose brought him back, he was all alone on the satellite with nothing but the corpses of the people who had fought beside him and zero explanation as to why he survived, and he had lost Rose and the Doctor besides. And then all his life on earth since, he has lost coworkers and lovers and civilians he tried and failed to save and probably also aliens he tried and failed to save. And I think by the time he becomes reluctant leader of Torchwood, every action is, whether conscious or subconscious, taken with the intent of minimizing that kind of trauma and the impact of loss.

Except that I think that the survivor's guilt has another layer to it, which is that feeling of needing to sacrifice or absolve himself in some way. No one else is willing to make the difficult decisions, no one else will move forward with the painful and unpleasant actions, even if there's no other way, even though they will someday perish and no longer see the ripples of their actions. But Jack - who cannot die, who must live with the guilt or the pain or the trauma of those actions and decisions for the rest of his very very very long life - is the one who realizes that he must take on those painful responsibilities and must do certain things even though they're terrible, because it ends up being the sacrifice of one over the whole world. And every single time, he's guilty about it, and that makes him want even more to sacrifice his own hurt for the grief and loss of others.

So it's this strange cycle of wanting to protect himself from hurt and from loss and from the survivor's guilt, but being driven by guilt towards painful and/or self-sacrificing actions. Which then makes him fear being seen as vulnerable or uncertain, and he struggles to do things on a smaller scale or in a more level-headed way, because he's not supposed to be leading like this, it's not something that comes naturally, and if he makes emotional connections by being a leader, he'll end up trapped in survivor's guilt yet again each time one of his employees or friends or lovers dies.

It's just a terrible cycle and he's trapped in it for the rest of his existence. Although if he really is the Face Of Boe, then I imagine at some point he eventually finds peace with it all or something, but I think so long as he has a human-form he's stuck with this cycle of leadership and loss and sacrifice and mistakes.

I think it's really important that Jack is not good at his job as a leader. He makes a ton of mistakes, he fucks up so much and his employees or even civilians end up collateral damage, whether physically or just emotionally. He wants to be a good leader, I think, and he's trying, but he's fallible, and he's a stranger in literally every sense, and I think a really big part of his character is that he constantly is forced to live in this bizarre dichotomy where he has to be both very distant and cold and detached, and also very emotional and intense and personal. And any other person would collapse under the stress of repeating that over and over and over again for decades, but he has to figure out how to navigate this weight as an infinite existence that can't ever collapse or let it burn him up and kill him.

[klaus-littlestwolf]

Yan!College Student!Klaus M. NSFW A-Z

(I’ve done several Alphabets for Klaus already but I thought to do one for my Human!High School series but then I thought…Yandere College Student! And here we are😈)

A stands for AFFECTION: how would they show affection?

•Gift Giving is Klaus’ love language

•Before you even knew who he was he was sending you flowers almost everyday, especially after overhearing you tell your best friend that you love how strongly your (usually gross smelling thanks to so many other students in the wing) dorm room smells of roses thanks to the constant cycle of fresh flowers being delivered

•After he introduces himself to you for the first time (which he believes is your 6 month anniversary) he gives you a black Eternity Collar that he keeps the key to so that you can never remove it, clearly loving the knowledge that you are wearing a collar that he has gifted you

B stands for BLOODY: how bloody are they willing to get for their object of obsession?

•Klaus has made it clear that he is willing to do whatever he deems necessary to “protect you” in any way and that sometimes means getting his hands bloody

•You made the mistake around the third month of your Stalker (though he signed all of his love letters to you ‘Your Loving Boyfriend’) sending you letters and gifts, of going out on a date with a boy from your Econ class. He had been asking you out relentlessly for over 2 months and while you originally said “No” because of your Stalker, his persistence had also creeped you out (arguably in a much worse way than your Stalker). You finally said you would go to dinner with him just to get him to stop asking and he took you to a fancy little place in town. He was an asshole as you knew he would be and it seemed your Stalker noticed that too

•Your stalker believed that the idiot you went on a date with had threatened you into it and so you were forgiven…he wasn’t though and he found himself thrown off a bridge to his death later that night (though everyone else would believe it a suicide)

C stands for CRUELTY: would they ever hurt their object of obsession?

•Klaus does not physically hurt you, he won’t hit you or beat you (he had been beaten his entire childhood and he’s sensitive about it)

•The most painful thing he does is when he’s really angry he will occasionally grab you by the collar that he gave you and drag you around by it

D stands for DARLING: would they cross their object of obsession’s limits?

•Sexually, no, he will never do something that you are afraid of or that you don’t like

•Other limits are non-existent. What limits? You are his girl and your relationship has no limits

E stands for EXPOSED: how much do they expose their own feelings to their object of obsession?

•Klaus tells you about his feelings for you immediately

•Your first “interaction” with Klaus was his first letter that he sent you along with the bouquet of flowers, the letter containing his thoughts and feelings for you that he poured out onto the paper and you were instantly torn between being flattered by how gorgeous and wonderful he thought you were and being creeped out by how he was clearly watching you and had been for God knows how long

•He never hid his feelings from you in any regard, not even when he is angry with you for whatever slight you have committed without knowing it

‘I have loved you since the day I first saw you, you looked at me and I was done for, I knew it instantly.’

‘Everything I am is yours, I exist only for you and seeing you in pain hurts me more than words can express. You should never have reason to shed a tear Princess and if you tell me who it was that brought tears to your eyes, I will ensure that they never have the chance again.’

‘How could you allow him to put his hands on you like that?! Does this relationship mean nothing to you? Do I Mean Nothing to You?! I have not so much as thought about touching another girl since the day we met and you are on a date?!’

‘I cannot express how sorry I am for scaring you my Darling. I should never get upset with you, especially for something that isn’t your fault. That idiot boy pressured you into a date and you were afraid, my Princess was scared and all I did was make it worse, I am so sorry. Please forgive me for the words I wrote in anger and please accept these flowers as my sincere apology, as well as the idiot boy who pressured you into a date now never being able to set eyes on you again. No one hurts you and doesn’t suffer for it, you will never have to worry about him again.’

•His mood swings were terrifying even before you met him when all of your interactions were through his letters and texts to you. You had no idea who he was and you hid all of the letters from everyone, keeping it a secret for the entire 6 months that he stalked you before arriving at your door and instantly behaving like you had been dating the entire time

F stands for FIGHT: how would they react to their object of obsession fighting back?

•He wouldn’t understand it at all and it would confuse him before potentially enraging him if you don’t stop quickly

•You are his girl, you’ve been together happily for months and he wouldn’t understand why you’re suddenly behaving like this

G stands for GAME: do they think this is just a game?

•No, this is in no way a game

•You are Klaus’ everything and it’s not something that he takes lightly. He will kill for you if he has to, and he has done just that

H stands for HELL: what would be their object of obsession’s worst experience with them?

•Your worst experience was probably when you needed to pretend that you had nothing to do with your dates death and that he had just committed suicide

•You were questioned by everyone since he had been with you the night before, wondering how he was, if he was acting strangely, asking why he would do this and you needed to pretend you had no clue

•It was extremely stressful and you locked yourself in your room for 3 days to avoid people, not even answering for the deliveries which just worried your Stalker

I stands for IDEAL: what are their plans for their object of obsession?

•Klaus plans for you to be his forever

•He plans to graduate and take care of you, you’re going to move into a condo together and enjoy being together for a while before you have some kids and spend the rest of your lives together

J stands for JEALOUSY: how they react when jealous? Do they get jealous?

•You do not want Klaus getting jealous, he gets violent

•Klaus will instantly see another man as a threat to you and he will want to get rid of that threat anyway he can and he will absolutely kill for you

K stands for KINDNESS: how they act around their object of obsession?

•Klaus worships you

•He will give you anything you want! You want to watch your favorite movie? Fuck studying for his exam, his baby wants to watch a movie! You have a craving for ice cream at 1am? Fuck his early morning class, his Princess wants ice cream!

•You hate that he does things like that but he will never stop, he loves to see you happy and it’s the most important thing!

L stands for LOVE LETTER: how would they approach their object of obsession?

•He stalks her for 6 months sending letters and gifts almost everyday believing you are in a committed relationship

M stands for MASK: how different are their public persona from their true selves?

•Klaus is a nerdy, shy kind of guy and most people wouldn’t even notice him in the back of the class

•With you he’s a very dominant person and that last word you would ever use to describe your boyfriend is “shy”

N stands for NAUGHTY: how would they punish their object of obsession?

•Klaus’ favorite punishment is when he locks you in his dorm room and you end up forced to stay with him, only leaving when you have class but usually ending up stuck there all weekend

O stands for OPPRESSION: how many rights would they take from their object of obsession?

•All of them

•You live for him, to be his Princess and your entire life (in his opinion) should be about your relationship. What rights do you need? Where do you need to go? What do you need to do that he can’t do for you?

P stands for PATIENCE: how patient are they with their object of obsession?

•Klaus isn’t known for his patience

•Honestly, after finally meeting him you were shocked that he waited 6 whole months to meet you officially

Q stands for QUIT: if their object of obsession died or escaped, would they ever be able to move on?

•Died: Klaus would lose his mind. He would end up having a massive psychotic break and killing God knows how many people before being locked in an asylum for the rest of his life

•Escaped: He would never stop looking for you. No matter how long you’ve gotten away for, a month, a year, 10 years, just when you think you’re safe and you settle down he would find you and lock you away with him forever

R stands for REGRET: would they ever regret harming their object of obsession? Would they ever let them go?

•Klaus wouldn’t let you go, however if he did actually hurt you in his anger he would quickly regret it as soon as he calmed down

•He would take care of any injury and baby you for weeks afterwards until he knows you forgive him completely

S stands for STIGMA: what made their yandere tendencies bloom?

•The day he first saw you in class he just knew you were his

•From that moment he refused to fight his feelings, why fight destiny?

T stands for TEARS: how would they react to their object of obsession crying/breaking?

•Your tears typically send him into a panic

•He absolutely hates seeing you cry for any reason, and though when he’s angry and you cry he will just ignore it, he quickly falls right back into babying you and letting you cry on his shoulder until you feel all better

U stands for UNIQUE: something different they would do compared to others yanderes.

•The 6 months it took him to meet you in person for the first time was definitely different

•However while most Yanderes would want to lock you away (and while he did love having you all to himself) he allowed you to finish your schooling right along side of him before locking you away in the house he got the two of you after college when he was ready to stuff you full of his babies

V stands for VICE: what weakness their object of obsession could use against them?

•Y/n found out quite early that not only could she weaponize his jealousy but her tears as well

•Like most Yanderes, Klaus is profoundly jealous but he also can’t handle her crying and will do just about anything to get her to stop. As long as she doesn’t push it too far she can get almost anything she wants

W stands for WIT���S END: would they hurt their object of obsession?

•Klaus wouldn’t hurt you on purpose

•You have occasionally gotten him so upset that he ended up shoving you against the wall too hard or grabbing your arm so hard it bruises but it is very rare as he is quite attentive about that

X stands for XOANON: would they worship their object of obsession?

•The ground you walk on every moment of every day

•Klaus absolutely adores you and there is nothing you could do to change that. You’re half convinced that he believes you to be a Goddess in human form

Y stands for YEARN: how long would they pine after their object of obsession before they snap?

•He couldn’t even wait one whole day after meeting you before he sent you the first flower bouquet and letter, however 6 months was his limit before he couldn’t stand not being able to touch you anymore without losing his mind

Z stands for ZENITH: would they ever break their object of obsession?

•He would never break your spirit completely, however you would eventually do as he wanted knowing that you were never getting away from him

•Being with Klaus wasn’t so bad, honestly it could be much worse and with how much he loves you you knew you would always have just about anything you wanted

Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist

[starlightshadowsworld]

There’s been multiple characters in Bungou Stray Dogs that have been called “angel.”

Shibusawa called Atsushi the “angel that will save me.” Yosano was called the Angel of Death. Mushitaro called himself the Angel of Murder.

Ango is the angel Dazai refers to when he tells Sigma an angel is how he’s able to reach the outside world.

And while not referred to directly in Stormbringer Chuuya’s corrupted form resembles that of an angel.

Fukuchi (chapter 90) tells Tachihara that he is an angel but Tachihara is not. And explains what it means to be an angel.

“Now who are the angels? Those who don’t dirty their own hands, who don’t bear the filth. And send their inferior humans to the battlefield.

Those who, bearing no responsibility, crave nothing but the honour, riches and pleasures. They hold the reins of the people. Heavenly beings that’s others hands cannot reach.”

Fukuchi’s correct Tachihara doesn’t fit this criteria of being an angel. But neither do any of the characters I’ve listed.

Atsushi is the one who gets sent into battle. He does not control anyone and sees those others view as inferior, as people who need help.

And any time something goes wrong Atsushi blames himself for it.

Yosano sent soldiers to there deaths during the war, absolutely. But the second she realised the true weight of her actions she tried to stop it.

It was out of her control and Yosano still shoulders responsibility for it.

Chuuya has been on the front lines since he joined the Sheep. He enjoys the thrill of the fight sure but his fights are usually in service to protecting his family. Be it the Sheep or the Port Mafia.

Chuuya’s always been placed on a pedestal but he never put himself on one. And on multiple occasions Chuuya’s chosen to protect even if it could cost him everything.

Mushitaro tried to convince himself it was all for his own pleasure and amusement. But he only dirtied his hands for an old friend who’s long gone.

Same with Ango who dirtied his hands for Dazai. He took responsibility for the Dragons Head incident. And even with everything at stake Ango cautioned Chuuya against using corruption.

Even Fukuchi himself doesn’t truly fit this description.

Fukuchi’s dirtied his hands sure but happily uses others to do it for him. He tried to convince Akutagawa to kill Atsushi because he didn’t want the blood of more children on his hands.

The fact Fukuchi uses the vampires to begin show he has a hold on others. Along with his reputation that really carried things for him. His motive is peace sure but he’s already decided how many deserve to die for it.

Much like the politicians he’s criticising in the statement above. But I guess it’s fine when he chooses who deserves to live or die.

The only other person I can think of who fits this criteria the closest is Fyodor. Makes sense considering he’s probably the one who spoon fed the motto to Fukuchi to begin with.

But it is interesting considering Fyodor has only ever been referred to by others as a demon. Though he himself probably thinks of himself as an angel. One that will purge this world of abilities, of sin.

Despite possessing one himself.

Fyodor can dirty his hands but like Fukuchi prefers to use people to fight for him. He doesn’t see anyone as his equal not even Dazai. And he manipulates and brainwashes his way into controlling others.

It makes sense that in Fyodor’s eyes he is an angel. Though there is one thing Fukuchi mentions that the rest possess more than he does.

And that’s to be an angel means to suffer.

Fukuchi definitely suffered from war. But he says his experience with torture is from the torturers side. He has not suffered for his own mission of peace.

He’s never lost anything he didn’t plan to lose. Prior to Fyodor showing up Fukuchi was dying exactly how he wanted too.

Ango’s suffered. Mushitaro’s suffered. Chuuya’s suffered. Yosano’s suffered. Atsushi is suffering. Fyodor literally wouldn’t have gotten to this point if he hadn’t suffered.

Fukuchi by his own criteria is an angel and yet it puts him even closer to the demon himself. Rather fitting for a man who thought his quest to end a war with a war would make him a hero.

[konigbabe]

Leon S. Kennedy headcanons

Random headcanons of Leon S. Kennedy that's been stuck in my head for what feels like forever. There's a small NSFW section under the divider 18+.

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x gn!reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags/warnings: fluff; established relationship; smut; oral sex; gender-neutral reader; no y/n

masterlist • navigation • faq • AO3

He loves kissing.

This man is so touch-starved that kissing is sacred to him. He loves kissing; lives for it – but only with the right person. Someone who holds his heart in their hand. Soft kisses, unhurried and so indulgent. Leon’s kisses are a devotion of their own; they don’t necessarily lead to something more. He just enjoys the feeling of your lips on his. Knows when to add the right pressure, when and how to use his tongue…

He’s also a really, really good kisser (don’t fight me on this); loves to bite your lip as well.

His love language is physical touch.

(–or acts of service.)

Anyway; Leon adores physical touch whether it's inside or outside the safety of your shared space. If you join him on missions, you’ll always find him close – his hand brushing yours, palm on your back guiding you forward, making sure you're always within his line of sight. And if you ever get hurt, his hands gently grasp your body, checking to make sure you're okay.

At home, he just loves to touch you randomly – kiss on your temple carrying multiple meanings (‘thank you’, ‘you’re welcome’, ‘I love you’, ‘good morning’ and so on), arms sneaking around you to enclose in a bear hug. Or having his exhausted body to just lay on top of you, using you as his own personal pillow…

He struggles with the L word.

The words “I love you” lingered in the back of Leon’s throat for a long time; not because he wasn’t sure of it but because once spoken, they become real and tangible. Acknowledged. Something he can’t take back.

He secretly enjoys cooking and has a few signature dishes that he’s really proud of.

Leon isn’t really a chef. Often opting for rather simple meals but even those bring him joy. Solace lies in the simplicity of it all. As a man who has had little control in his life since childhood, the act of cooking provides a sense of control and satisfaction that he rarely experiences elsewhere; having his own space, doing something so insignificant that it becomes significant in its own way.

He’s definitely someone who would say something along the lines “Made with love, not skill.”

He’s a workaholic.

Leon cares about you; loves you. There’s no lie in the fact that he wants to spend every second possible with you. Every fibre of his being yearns to be close to you, to protect you from harm. However, as a seasoned agent, adrenaline courses through his veins. It’s a part of him, as natural as breathing. He craves the thrill of danger, the rush of a mission, even though it tears him away from you. Leon’s already learned to accept that his calling for epinephrine is as much a part of his as his love for you.

He has a bit of a sweet tooth and loves all kinds of desserts.

Leon's sweet tooth is undeniable. He simply cannot resist the allure of sugary treats, and desserts hold a special place in his heart. From gooey chocolate cakes to creamy fruit tarts, he loves them all. He is not shy about indulging in his favorite treats, often having multiple servings or even ordering dessert before his meal.

He’s a romantic at heart.

Love letters that tug at your heartstrings, make you feel as if he’s by your side instead of fighting the infected and all the bad guys that team up on him. Testaments of his affection towards you. Morning messages a gentle reminder that he’s still here for you, whenever you need him. He believes that every moment in a relationship should be cherished, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, and he relishes in each one spent with you.

He let’s you braid his hair.

(He’s blond; I stand firmly by his game's looks.)

Sitting on the carpet, back comfortably resting against the sofa cushions as you throw your legs over his broad shoulders, feeling the taunt muscle underneath your thighs. Letting out soft sighs of contentment as you gently thread your fingers through the silky hair; braiding the sides or simply brushing it clean. His fingers wrapped around your ankle, drawing lazy shapes over the thin skin there while enjoying the tender scrape of your fingernails against his scalp.

He's socially awkward.

Outside the people that know him or the people he's forced into close proximity with (*cough* Luis *cough*), Leon is not a social butterfly. Not big on conversations, rather short and snappy answers. Oftentimes at a loss for words. Socializing exhausts him. His desire lies to be left alone; or with one person at a time but it has to be someone he's already familiar with.

He loves cuddling more than sex.

Don’t be fooled, Leon’s definitely sex-crazed around you. Loves to be buried deep inside you; feel your warmth, the velvety squeeze when his cock hits that sweet spot inside – but cuddling makes him happier. It’s his way to show you how devoted he is to you. That feeling of emotional security provided by your cuddles gives him pleasure far greater than the way your body responds to his cock.

He’s a switch.

Leon’s a curious creature – relishing in both submission and domination; intrigued by the duality of power exchange. While the daddy/mommy kink doesn't quite capture his attention, that doesn't mean he can't submit to your every whim, yearning to appease your deepest desires. The mood of the moment guides his actions, emotions dictating the course.

Leon’s a foreplay master and a teaser.

Absolutely addicted to the way your body reacts to his touches, to his kisses. Some days, he’s even capable of making the foreplay longer than the actual sex; having you writhing, begging with teary eyes to finally put his cock inside you. Leon’s certainly going to tease every cell in your body, setting it on fire, letting it burn until you’re nothing but a mere ember.

He loves oral.

Receiving or giving — he doesn’t really hold a preference. It’s not important whether he’s the one on his knees or you; Leon is someone who finds his own pleasure deep within yours, just feeling you react to his tongue, to his fingers. This goes the other way around, having your lips around his cock, feeling the tightness of your throat…makes him a mess.

He’s an ass man.

Leon can't help but love ass in every way imaginable. He runs his hands over the supple globes of your flesh, his teeth sinking into the softness. Pressed tightly against him, you can feel his hard cock straining against the fabric of his pants, yearning to be set free. He stares at it, touches it, spanks it, and bites it every chance he gets. It's predictable that he'll have you in various positions, pounding away while admiring your delicious curves - doggy, reverse cowgirl, and so much more.

He’s loud.

(– and he moans.)

There’s no denying that Leon will grunt, growl, groan, whimper and moan during the whole night. Very expressive nature. He’s not really extremely loud to the point someone might hear you through the walls; yet the room is always filled with the sounds of his own pleasure, only adding to that fire deep inside you.

[give-some-lemons]

Watching/playing in horror genre with Sylus

~first of all he’s a busy man and despite the fact that he likes horror genre, usually he just don’t have enough time for watching movies giving more preference to books. He’s favorite would definitely be Stephen King for that atmosphere in his artworks.

~he’s a kind of person that will chuckle or at least smile at characters deaths, especially if it’s a stupid one like stepped on “the most obvious trap he’s ever saw” and he’s more than glad if you’re same, discussing how dumb heroes are for coming up with those decisions.

~he secretly waits for scary moments cause he loves when you cling to him all tensed seeking for his protection and comfort when monster’s face appears on the screen with a loud scream. But if you’re a tough one, that cannot be affected so easily don’t worry, after some time you’ll find yourself in his arms pressed against strong chest anyway.

~he would be glad to watch all the screen adaptations of Stephen King’s novels, even if he doesn’t like any of it, telling how much better it was on the book pages, but he has favorites like “Carrie” and “It”.

~movies about serial killers is his top of most enjoyable ones, sympathizing Myers and Ghost Face and considering how society itself made a monsters out of them. And that is the reason why you often need to put it on pause for you two to meet in a debate battles on that topic.

~if we’re talking about games he’s not much of a player but of course he will do that with you cause obviously that’s what you’d like. It takes some time for you to explain him how to play but since he’s a “talented student” he’s very fast at learning.

~for the reason that not so much horror games are a multiplayer ones, you play in turns, even if at first he prefers watching you, taking his turn only in case if some moments are too scary for you but after not so long mostly you will be the one to just sit, often giving him advice.

~I feel like this man would like “Resident evil 7” and first parts of this franchise, cause the atmosphere in some places there would keep him all in tense, plus he seems to really like the idea of Umbrella, an evil company with their terrible experiments on human body and you already were regretting of giving him ideas for his next business.

~even though he loves to control everything he seems to enjoy games with an unpredictable jump-scares like “Layers of Fear” or “Mortuary Assistant” that can throw him off course for a couple of seconds. And it’s funny for you to watch how carefully and slowly he’s trying to turn back not to be taken by surprise after the last jump-scare.

~”Phasmophobia” is next on your list, a game that was terrifying for you first times you played it. But despite your expectations you almost always were the one to die first while your man just sat there holding a laugh, hidden in the closet like he never even entered the haunted house. Newcomers are lucky not to go out on the ghosts, I guess.

~not a secret that he adores the feeling when somebody’s life fully depends of his choice, no matter if that’s a real life or a game, that’s why he enjoys “Until Dawn” along with “Dark Anthology Pictures”. That thrill of power and control that he has over these virtual humans make you feel very sorry for them. And don’t even doubt, if he doesn’t like the character they will not make it until the end, at least alive.

~he likes horror games/movies with a deep meaning, you know the ones after which you usually sat on one place for some time reflecting on what you’ve just seen or played. At that point you and your partner are talking sharing your thoughts and considering all the ways how differently it could be if characters did this instead of that.

~he would love as well physiological thrillers like “The Shining” and “The Babadook”, movies where the story is told through the thoughts of psychologically stressed characters, revealing their distorted mental perception of the world and how what seemed like a nice, not remarkable at any point person goes all the way straight to insanity.

~not a big fan of a body horror, as he thinks that it’s the easiest way to impress people with just an image of blood and organs everywhere on the screen. As was said before, he appreciates people’s emotions and the atmosphere, that puts viewers or players in a primary terror.

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ships but its really soft fluffy kiss edition. basically tooth-rottingly sweet ficlets.

daisuga: it is the peak of summer, and theyve been at the beach all day and there's sand everywhere, and they're sunburnt and exhausted. Half the team has gone off to find a place for dinner, the other half is asleep under umbrellas. Suga and Daichi are sitting a ways away, toes in the water, popsicles melting rapidly. Suga has been laying his cheek on Daichi's shoulder for a while - he's sleepy and he never wants this day to end. So he turns his head, lazy and giggly and kisses a soft line across his shoulder, up to his neck. And Daichi smiles and laughs and asks what he's doing but Suga just shrugs and tells him its nothing, he's just really, really happy.

iwaoi: they work really hard and everyone knows it but Oikawa is always going to take losing really hard. Some days harder than others. On a particularly bad day, Oikawa is crying and curled up on his bed and he's been ranting about how mad he is but Iwa knows that anger is mostly directed at himself. So when Oikawa finally takes a breath, and Iwa stands up to go get something for dinner, because he knows Oikawa will forget until real late otherwise, he stops before the door, and turns back, and takes Oikawa's head in his hands, holding him delicately, and leans down to kiss his forehead, letting it linger far longer than he had planned. And Oikawa is still crying but Iwaizumi mumbles that it'll all be okay, and he can't help but nod along with him, and maybe he even starts to believe it.

ushiten: tendou takes pride in his position on the team, and always commits to his blocks, which means during practice it's not uncommon for him to get his fingers jammed trying to block Ushiwaka. It hurts more than usual this time, the nail having torn up a bit at a bad angle. Ushijima feels terrible, and excuses himself to help, apologizing over and over and over again as they sit on the bench, and he helps him wrap the tip of his finger to keep it protected. Then, when he's finished with the tape, holding Tendou's hand oh-so-delicately, he lifts it up to press the softest, most careful kiss to his finger. Tendou absolutely melts, incoherantly stumbling over trying to say he accepts his apology with the most pathetic, lovestruck expression.

arankita: its over spring break, they've been out a lot with the twins and Suna and each other, really making the most of their last year of high school, and they keep promising to make time to just hang out together, and it just does not work, but the spring is so lively and fun they cant be mad. They go with the team to a theme park, and Aran really wants a chance to get Kita alone and maybe tell him how he feels. The whole day passes, though, and they never do, and eventually theyre saying goodbye. And Aran thinks all is lost, but Kita pulls him back, and pulls him down, and kisses him just an inch from his lips, soft and warm and lingering, and he pulls back slowly but keeps a hand on his jacket, and thanks him for always being there. And they definitely shouldnt invite the team next time.

kagehina: they spend their free day out in a grassy field in a park, tossing a volleyball around because neither of them can ever get enough. But they do need to take breaks, to catch their breath and drink water. Kageyama sits down on the grass and sips from his bottle and watches the bugs that are flitting about. One thing turns to another, and what was just a water break turns into a long rest, laying in the sun together and laughing over every stupid thing. When Kageyama catches Hinata staring at him, he tries to act annoyed and wave him off, but Hinata is fast, and leans forward to kiss the tip of Kageyama's nose before laughing and bouncing back to his feet to say that its time to get back to the game. Kageyama turns pink, grabbing at his nose as if offended, but he cannot help but smile back.

[itsabouttimex2]

Oooh how about some yandere headcanons of Tang , Redson and Azure lion with a reader who’s very reckless? They’re always throwing themselves into danger whenever the team is fighting, and reader just insists they’re trying to help. Please if not no worries XD

Sure thing! Also, I think I’m going to grind out a few more requests before I wipe my inbox. I let it grow shamefully out of care during my hiatuses. Then I’ll open up Character x Character (still platonic) requests for a while.

“Y/N, I find that I have warned you many times about this kind of behavior…”

You look up to the leonine demon with a frown, gripping one of your upper arms as a form of self-support. How many times have you heard this lecture? How many times would you hear it in the future? Every time that you so much as try to help him in a fight, you’re sat down for this same spiel.

But you don’t remember him ever being this stern. In fact, he seems-

“Cub,” the lion says, carefully taking your chin between two massive fingers. He says it pointedly, as though preemptively arguing his stance- you’re young and small, still a child to him. One he sees as worthy of his love and protection, even if you might try to reject it.

“Y-yes, Azure?”

“I would like you to pay close attention when I’m talking to you, please.”

Even upset, the demon remains polite and gentle, if rather firm. His fingers are soft to the touch, claws carefully sheathed. He’s never used them against you, not even once. Nor has he even threatened you with them.

His massive hand shifts to your hair, stroking the unruly strands back into place. His metacarpal pad squishes into your cheek, and you can’t help but lean into it, savoring the brief moment of warmth he offers during this long scolding.

“It seems I must switch my methods- clearly, my words will continue to fall on deaf ears if I continue down this path.”

Azure outright scruffs you- snags you by the cape attached to your pauldrons and lifts until your feet leave the ground.

“Come along, cub,” the lion says, as though you have a choice at the moment. All you can do is dangle from his blue-furred hand and try not to squirm, hoping that your cape won’t rip and sending you tumbling.

The training grounds are a familiar sight, hours and hours spent here together, learning all of Azure’s skills.

He presses a wooden training blade into your hands, then takes up one of his own.

“If I cannot teach you, perhaps a full day of training will. We will be sparring from this moment to your bedtime,” he sternly informs, a blush creeping up your face at his final word. That your mentor saw you as so young that he enforced a strict bedtime was…

Well, you tried to tell yourself it was reasonable. After all, if you were growing stronger and exhausting your body, you’d need lots of rest, wouldn’t you?

Didn’t justify the constant checking on you through the night, tucking you in every time the blankets come loose, and ensuring that all the windows were shut and locked.

And you had no doubt that was where you’d end up, exhausted and face-down on your bed, letting Azure gingerly knead out your aching muscles with his massive paws.

But all of that was for later. For now?

You had a full eight hours of training ahead.

Good luck, Y/N.

“No.”

“Wuh- what the hell do you mean, no?! I haven’t said anything yet!”

“And the answer is still no, brat.”

This is the most frequent conversation you and Red Son seem to have, constant preemptive denial of whatever scheme you’re dreaming up.

He’s viciously protective of you, serving as an ever-vigilant guard. Not only is your every move tracked and monitored, but your actions are under constant and fierce scrutiny.

“I see you went to that cheese tea stall, Y/N. After I told you that you weren’t allowed to go.”

“Red, they moved it to the inner city! It’s way safer there, so all your arguments before don’t even matter anymore!”

“…hmph. I suppose I’ll let this slide, then. But I’m not going to be so merciful next time.”

Constant restrictions on where you go and what you do, which could theoretically be lessened to some degree, if only you’d just stop being such a damn fool.

To him, your actions are proof of immaturity, preventing Red Son from genuinely trusting you or letting loose the stranglehold grip he’s taken on your life.

To you? You are genuinely just trying to help the people you love, if a bit recklessly.

But Red doesn’t see it that way, and even when you try to make a convincing argument as to why he should, it’s promptly shot down.

So with debate and brute force both proving pointless in changing his mind, you switch to stealth and subterfuge instead. Expect to get caught about fifty percent of the time, then forced back inside and placed under lock and key.

He loves you, dammit! Why do you have to be so stupid?! Why do you have to try and sneak out?! Why can’t he love any other idiotic mortal around?!

Why does it have to be you?

Red Son can’t imagine that he’ll ever find out why he came to cherish someone as small and weak and stupid as you… but he does.

And since he can’t force himself to stop caring, he’ll just have to impose harsher and harsher restrictions until you finally submit to his care.

Maybe then he’ll finally be able to berate thoroughly talk you out of your heroic ‘delusions’. Maybe you’ll crack and break down, finally discouraged from your kindness.

Just this once, he’ll let you cry into his shoulder.

It’s the least he can do for the person he loves most.

Oh, this poor man. Weak ankles, frail body, fragile heart. You are not doing him any favors by acting recklessly.

“Y/N, NO! Put that down! You- you can’t just go around swinging random swords- stop spinning it!”

“It’s fine, Mister Tang! Mei’s been teaching me!”

“Teaching you to what?! Get yourself killed as quickly as possible?!”

Yeah, he’s constantly on the verge of falling apart. Given that the scholar genuinely just wants to keep you safe and sound, it’s absolutely nerve-wracking for him to deal with you.

Expect him to turn to the Noodlefam for help eventually. Given that they cherish Tang as much as he cherishes them, it’s not hard to rally them into lending him a hand.

He’ll speak to MK about the whole matter, talking him into keeping an eye out for you. He might even convince the young hero to whip up a clone to keep surveillance on you, trying it’s hardest to keep you out of trouble.

As for Pigsy, well… if Tang sees you as a child, let’s be honest- so does the chef. Man has a ladle locked and loaded for the backside of your head, and a sharp remand to go with the sting. “Enough messing around, Y/N! Put the damn sword down and help me with these dumplings already!” And at his words you reluctantly clamber down from the windowsill you were crawling over, settling back at the counter to help the porcine demon prep a meal.

All three of them together have zero issue with keeping you under control, but Tang is clearly the most dedicated here, and sometimes on his own in tending to the matter.

You have to sit through hours of scoldings and lectures. When he’s finally done trying to impart upon you why what you’ve done is dangerous, Tang sends you off to bed with his worried words ringing in your ears.

He’ll stop by to tuck you in, of course. Even when caught in the maddening throes of obsession is Tang kind, always looking to dote on you in some way.

There’s definitely worse people to be dealing with, at least.

[teyums]

His Secret Admirer (Bonus Chapter) - Neteyam x fem na’vi reader

part one | part two | part three | part four

wc: 2.4k

a/n: i cannot thank you guys enough for 1k followers!! it means so much to me that y’all enjoy my writing enough to stick around. here’s a bonus chapter of his secret admirer for y’all, as promised 🫶🏽

summary: life after mating, how neteyam treats you now that you’re pregnant with his child

contains: fluff, mention of pregnancy, older neteyam and reader

It had been a little over two years now since you and Neteyam sealed the bond, deeming you mates for life. Your relationship was nothing but fruitful, the love you shared for each other growing more by the day— as well as the life in your stomach.

Your mother was over the moon when you broke the news to her, crumbling into a blubbering mess of happy tears and many “you’re growing up so fast”s and “my baby is having a baby”s. When she found out it was a boy, she prayed to the great mother and thanked her, telling you this was proof of your father watching over you.

Neytiri treated you like her own, always asking if you were hungry or wanted something to eat. Even when you’d say no, she’d place a bowl of steamed teylu in your lap, just in case. She constantly brought you back and forth to the healing hut so she could do checkups on the baby. She’d hover her hands over your belly, then smile wide at you when she got her answer. “The baby is strong.”

And as for Neteyam? He had been there every step of the way. He was overjoyed at the news, already coming up with baby names and fantasizing about the bundle of joy you were slowly developing. You could’ve sworn he shed a few tears when you told him it was a boy, elated to raise a little mighty warrior.

Though your pregnancy had been one of the best things to ever happen to you, the hormones coursing through your body threw your emotions way out of wack and they were completely unpredictable. How your mate responded to this? Absolutely better than you could’ve ever hoped for. Some days you were extremely irritable, snappy and filled with attitude at the most random things; to which he would massage your shoulders or feet while calmly asking you to explain what had set you off.

Other days you’d sob uncontrollably if he so much as kissed your cheek instead of your lips upon returning from a hunt, the imbalance of your emotions scaring you into believing he no longer desired you. He’d then spend the rest of the evening smothering you and your stomach in kisses, reiterating how beautiful you looked carrying his child and wiping your mind clean of your worries.

As the months went on you quickly started to show more, and as soon as your belly became big enough to require you to brace the small of your back with your hand, he was stuck to your side like glue. Everywhere you went, he went, insistent on protecting you and his unborn son.

“Neteyam, for the last time— I am pregnant. Not immobile.” You huffed, narrowing your eyes up at him. “Put me down, I want to walk.”

He rolled his eyes and smiled to himself at your sharp attitude, something that came with your pregnancy that he hadn’t minded at all. He obliged and gently set you down onto your slightly swollen feet, his hands remaining at your waist until you situated yourself.

“Thank you.” You breathed out, holding onto his bicep for balance and cradling your round bump with your free hand. “You know, there’s no need to follow me. I’m only going to grab some berries a little ways away, I won’t be long.”

“No, absolutely not.” He hurriedly shook his head before you could even finish your sentence, moving your arm to clasp around his and holding it there. “Where you go, I go. How can I protect my two babies if I am not with them?” He questioned with a tilted stare.

“If you insist.” You laughed softly, starting to walk towards the forest with him. Everything Neteyam did, he adapted to better suit you as your pregnancy went along. He kept his strides short, as his legs being longer than yours usually resulted in him walking faster than you. His eyes switched back and forth from the path ahead, then back down at you, prepared to scoop you back up into his arms if he caught the slightest hint of discomfort cross your face.

You took notice of this, and even though your feet were starting to ache you kept your calm expression. You loved how much he cared for you, really, but being pregnant already made you feel useless with the activities you could participate in now being limited; so getting out for a walk even for five minutes had become the highlight of your days.

~~

The two of you were back at your shared tent in about twenty minutes, and as you reached the doorway you felt your breathing become a bit weighted. Neteyam was surprised you hadn’t grown tired from all the walking. He asked you many times along the way if you needed a break or no longer wanted to be on your feet, to which you declined.

“Watch your step.” He guided you in slowly, helping you take a seat on the hammock before attending to anything else. “Are you hungry?” He smiled down at you, tucking a beaded braid behind your ear. Your face had become a bit fuller from the baby and your azure skin now had a soft, dewy glow to it. He couldn’t help but admire you, his eyes filled with undeniable love.

“Very.” You sighed, thanking Eywa you were off your feet after what seemed like hours. You rolled your neck in a clockwise motion to stretch your muscles, both hands placed behind you to prop yourself up.

He nodded and walked over to the other side of the room, crouching down and reaching into a basket to pull out a wrapped up banana leaf. He returned by your side, sitting down next to you on the hammock and unwrapping the leaf to reveal cut up sturmbeest meat he had roasted earlier.

You inhaled deeply, the mouthwatering aroma flooding your nostrils and causing you to lick your lips. Before your pregnancy, you absolutely hated sturmbeest meat, didn’t like the taste nor the texture of it. But now, it was all you craved and one of the only things you had an appetite for. Neteyam instantly took note of that, always making sure a sturmbeest was the first of his catches when hunting to ensure his mate and growing child wouldn’t go hungry.

“You weren’t lying when you said you were hungry, huh.” He chuckled at your nearly drooling state, picking up a piece and holding it in front of your lips. “Open.”

You pursed your lips at him with a deadpan look on your face. “I can feed myself, you know.” You scoffed.

He ignored your remark, instead sitting there and waiting for you to do as he said with an unfazed smile. You sighed and opened your mouth, closing it and chewing after he fed it to you. You hummed at the taste, your mood immediately improving.

“See, it’s nice isn’t it?” He teased, popping another into your mouth when you quickly opened it again as a non-verbal agreement.

You swallowed, suddenly pouting as you began to feel bad. He was so sweet to you no matter how you treated him, and you knew you couldn’t help it but you hated the way your hormones made you act towards him. “I’m sorry, Nete.” You sighed.

“What for?”

“For always being so grumpy.” You muttered, dropping your gaze from his.

“Oh baby, no. There’s no need to apologize. You weren’t grumpy, just hungry.” He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand and lifted your head up by your chin, his response coming just in time to stop your eyes from welling with tears. “Now, eat up. I need my son to be as big and strong as I am.” He flashed a toothy grin at the sound of your laugh, offering you another bite.

~~

It was well into the night now. The candles had long been blow out, only the moonlight leaking through the curtains served in illuminating your home with a sheer blue tint. You laid on your side, Neteyam tucked closely behind you and your body fitting into his like a puzzle piece. One arm folded under his head, the other lightly draped over your body to keep you close to him. His palm rested against the swell of your lower abdomen, fingers stretched protectively over your pregnant belly.

Your slumber had been relatively peaceful, until a kick against your stomach from a small foot sent a sharp pain through your back. Your eyes snapped open with a start, an exasperated but quiet sigh leaving your lips. Exhausted, your eyes slowly began to flutter back to a close when an even stronger kick jolted through you and succeeded in waking you up completely this time.

You peered down at your stomach to see Neteyam’s hand lightly resting against your skin like it was every night, gently picking up one of his fingers to lift his hand off your body. You used an elbow to push yourself up, wincing as the weight that had previously been evenly distributed was now resting all on your hips once you seated yourself with your legs criss-crossed.

You did a once over of the room and where the shadow of the moon’s luminescence fell informed you that it was indeed the middle of the night. Your back twinged painfully from the commotion in your stomach and you whimpered, quickly placing your hands behind your back and trying your best to stretch it out. It wasn’t working, it never did when you tried to do it yourself.

You looked back at Neteyam and chewed the inside of your lip. He was sleeping so soundly, his lips slightly parted with soft snores escaping here and there. You didn’t have the heart to wake him and hoped these aches would pass, facing forward once more.

Everything was sore, from your uncomfortably swollen breasts down to your numbed feet. Your back was strained in a place you couldn’t reach, and being woken up so abruptly from your sleep only aided in making you more agitated. You shut your eyes tightly to avoid your approaching tears, dropping your head forward in submission as you felt an inevitable lump forming in your throat.

Neteyam stirred in his sleep, smacking his lips and swallowing tiredly. He felt around in search of you, eyes flying open at the sound of your shuddering breaths. “[Y/n]?” He raised his head in a panic, blinking quickly to force his vision clear. He sat up in an instant when he saw your shoulders shaking and your head lowered, rubbing a hand over his face to wake himself up. “What is the matter? Why are you crying?” He questioned, his voice raspy, a clear indicator that his rest had been interrupted prematurely.

You whipped around at the sound of his voice, sighing shakily and wiping your tears. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” You sniffed stuffily, tone laced with guilt.

He shook his head, he couldn’t care less about being woken up, all he was worried about was you. Fully awake at this point, he leaned his head down to get a look at your face and placed a hand on your shoulder. “What is wrong?” He repeated, eyebrows furrowed and eyes filled with concern.

You gasped for air, your chest now feeling just as constricted as the rest of your body. “He won’t stop kicking,” you cried out, not having to quiet your voice anymore as you broke down. “My back hurts, everything hurts and I can’t reach it.” You sobbed frustratedly, your voice splitting.

“Okay mama, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He cooed, quick to rush into action and get behind you. He smoothed his hands over your smaller frame, starting at your shoulders and ending near your tailbone. He pressed his thumbs into the dips in your back to alleviate the tension, looking up at you for feedback. “Where does it hurt, my love?”

“Everywhere.” You groaned while he massaged your tense muscles, mewling in pain when you felt another cramp surge through your body. The real issue was the restless child angrily stomping around in your womb. “Make him stop, Nete. Please.” You breathed out, your forehead starting to sweat.

He scooted forward so you were sat between his legs, one of his on either side of your own. Sliding his arms below yours, he placed his hands on your rounded abdomen and began to rub slow circles. “Lean back, try to relax and he will do the same. Okay?”

You nodded your head helplessly, willing to do whatever he suggested if it meant the pain would stop. You leaned back into him, feeling his warm chest press against your skin. Unknowingly holding your breath between each cramp, you panted and dropped your head back onto his shoulder.

“Breathe, mama. You need to breathe.” He instructed, cradling his hands under the curve of your stomach and lifting ever so slightly, holding to reduce the weight your hips were supporting. He hummed in approval when you let out a deep exhale of relief, your breathing gradually starting to steady and your eyes closing. “There you go.” With his chin rested on your shoulder, his lips placed a featherweight kiss on your jaw as he felt your body relax against his.

The pain finally began to subside, and after a minute or two the kicking had come to a full stop thanks to Neteyam’s touch. You quickly felt sleep overtaking you once more while he continued caressing your bump.

He waited until your moans of discomfort had ceased, eyeing the rising and falling of your chest that had now reached a leisure pace. You were asleep.

He carefully released his hold on you, slowly moving to lay you down on your side. Your eyebrows unknitted, the tense look you previously wore was gone.

He moved little by little so he wouldn’t wake you, laying down behind you and starting to scoot closer. You stirred in your sleep when you didn’t feel him immediately and he lightly draped an arm over you, pressing his body flush against yours. “Shhh, I’m right here, baby.” He whispered, his hand finding its resting place over your stomach again. He kissed your cheek, then nuzzled his face into the warmth of your neck to join you in slumber.

“Sleep well, my love.”

a/n: babydaddy of the year respectfully belongs to neteyam sully 🏆 thank you for reading this series and i hope you enjoyed! Likes + Reblogs are much appreciated 💗

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