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#even though im not totally done
kwyoz · 2 months
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how are cyberpunk fans possibly happy, the endings made me cry like 4 times and im so depressed now.
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deus-ex-mona · 29 days
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ok for all the nonsense i give the [redacted] anime, this scene looks pretty funny in the manga adaptation
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sibyl-of-space · 2 months
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oh my god so a while ago i submitted the amadeus demo to a certain not-to-be-named indie event, not really expecting it would be accepted but figuring it's worth a shot and either way i get feedback. right.
now i have had... mixed... experiences with the particular group putting on this event. i think they do some genuinely awesome work and provide an invaluable service, but the overall community still feels wholly unprepared for anything even remotely artsy or weird. like even though it's an indie scene it feels very normie core. i don't even consider amadeus that artsy or weird, but i am occasionally reminded that i may have a skewed frame of reference compared to a lot of folks.
(a few months ago i attended a narrative feedback thing with them that was such a dumpster fire it pissed me off so bad i went and wrote 43790248932 paragraphs about it on here. like just genuinely some "have you, like, ever read a book?" tiers of utterly baffling "criticism." one of them pointed out to me that i may not have considered this, but Amadeus comes off as slightly rude. ....NO FUCKING SHIT.)
anyway. i submitted the demo because i figured the feedback would be useful, i can use any positive quotes in future trailers, etc. i have as of today learned that the game didn't get in and also received the promised feedback.
first of all i think it says a lot that from seeing in the email "we regret to inform you," my response was oh thank fuck. I don't really want to deal with tabling at an event cuz I have other shit going on and would rather focus on finishing the game since I've just made a lot of decisions I'm excited about; they also didn't get these responses back far enough in advance to actually prepare tabling materials if I HAD been accepted so it would have been more stress than anything else. I've also been salty at things like the above narrative feedback debacle so I was absolutely just like "this is completely fine with me."
But I made the mistake of reading the feedback provided and now I am going insane again.
TO BE FAIR! SOME OF THE FEEDBACK IS GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL, I may take or leave a lot of it, some of it raises good points I've already addressed, some of it clearly understands what I'm going for etc. I appreciate all of that.
But man some of this is pissing me offfffffffffff.
Some quotes that are making me particularly want to kill someone:
"When first meeting the witch the dialog is just incredibly long and boring and I ended up skipping through most of it. Given how linear this story seems to be, I think it would be better suited as a webcomic or a motion comic, not a visual novel."
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD NOVEL MEANS. JESUS CHRIST.
I am extrapolating a hint of potentially meaningful feedback from this which I'm already addressing (the personality of the Witch in that conversation should come through more than it does) - but this person gave that "feedback" in the douchiest most insufferable way possible. Luckily for them, I've since made that conversation even longer. Fuck off.
"Some of the music is very harsh and dissonant while being very repetitive, which made me less enthusiastic about listening to it."
This was the same person which just tells me they have no taste. Like hmm I wonder if there was an intentional reason I am using dissonance in the soundtrack about someone going through something insanely fucked up. The repetition is an understandable critique even if I'll be ignoring it, but "some of the music is harsh and dissonant" is not a valid critique. Soundtracks aren't supposed to just sound like nice flowery music all the time, or at least not good ones. I'll be making the full soundtrack more dissonant just for you.
"Is there a reason for the Amadeus's bracers to be colored in but not the rest?"
[different person] THIS . THIS. F. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
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NO. THERE'S NO REASON. I TRIPPED AND FELL AND ACCIDENTALLY ONLY SOMEHOW ENDED UP COLORING HIS ARMS IN EVERY SINGLE ASSET THAT DEPICTS HIM BY ACCIDENT SOMEHOW! THANK YOU FOR CATCHING THIS OVERSIGHT! SILLY ME!!!! IM TEARING MY HAIR OUT
"Not all of the music is equally fitting. There's at least one track that gets a bit techno."
yeah and im adding another track inspired by Bad Taste Aquarium from Sonic Adventure and another one that's basically GoldenSlaughterer 2. girl help I'm being "critiqued" by lame people with absolutely no taste
im so glad i read this after i finished moving my to-do lists to a new project management platform and getting really excited/motivated about where i'm at with the game because if i had seen this 2 days ago it would have just fucking killed my motivation. man. it's literally so hard being the only person with #vision
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werestorm · 3 months
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lucabyte · 4 months
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making posts about headcanons that have basically no textual backing makes me itchy but someday i should probably elaborate on my opinion that "mirabelle being aroace is the one thing keeping her oblivious to the fact that the dormont house of change is the religious coven equivalent to fleetwood mac"
#i was reading claude's pursual of euphrasie as cute but ill advised the whole time. like i was cheering for her but in the same way#you'd cheer for like. a vriska. as in 'you go girl i love your chutzpah but this is going to end HORRIBLY you shouldnt be doing it'#like i think i have a slightly less charitable reading of euphrasie's communication abilities than most. i think theres a lot of signs that#she. much like everyone else in the entire game. couldve done with perhaps talking to the people she was supposed to like. trust#a bit more than she did. she seems to keep a lot of secrets that maybe wouldve been helpful for people to know. like mirabelle#or maybe it simply was that mirabelle was uniquely uninformed. though that seems odd given her dilligence#anyway most of all i generally think that romantically pursuing your very tall and pretty HEAD BISHOP/BOSS when you are#EFFECTIVELY SOME KIND OF NUN is absolutely baller and i love claude for it but that's such a WORKPLACE HAZARD#IT IS SUCH A WORKPLACE HAZARD. THERE SHOULD BE SAFEGUARDS IN PLACE. GIRL.#anyway finding out that by Word of God they are in fact Gal Pals was a bit disappointing to me. i was enamoured by the chase#i wanted claude to be more tortured than she truly was i do suppose#sigh. such is the way of things. she shall have to live on as a total girlfailure butch in my mind alone... i also thought itd be cute if#she was crushing on mirabelle too but thats even LESS founded in the text so im zipperlips'd on that#lucabytetalks#dont pretend like you people are surprised by the tag ramble being 3x the length of the post by this point. thats normal for me
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queen0fm0nsterz · 8 months
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Reading my fave thin man and lady fic. Kicking my feet a lot because tbh. Sometimes a sad man really is just a weird woman's science project in a way that is so homoerotic
#carols.txt#when i tell you i've been re-reading this single one shot religiously every single month for almost three years I mean it#《straight》 ship so good we call it queerbaiting#LMAOOOOOO#call it yaoyuri the way these old people r tragic and doomed by the narrative or whatever#listen as a bi person on the aroace spectrum whatever this fic was trying to convey really strikes a cord#while its not the same as my own this characterization of them is so intriguing. im so hooked on it#^^ one thing i think this person really nailed was thin man's immaturity (stemming from his emotions oftentime being too big to control) ->#and the desire of attention that comes with said immaturity while also having the lady be both cold (normal) and intrigued in a way that ->#that really fits her character. curiosity is one of the many facets that make up her character that don't get explored much and i think its#done so well here for like no reason💀 THIS AUTHOR COOKED TOO HARD YOU GUYS#like ofc she wouldnt send him away. shes studying him under a microscope. even though hes annoying as hell#thin man is plagued by sassy man syndrome in this which is really fucking funny cus it lasts a total of 3 seconds before she finds him out#PLUS THE TALK ABOUT THE TOWER AND THE WORLD... AUGHHH#i need this author to give me their brain NOW#AUGHHHHHAAGGGHEEHH#everyone needs to start doing thinlady the way this person was doing it#this is the biblically accurate old people (in case my theory abt baby lady having been in the pale city is wrong)#live laugh love. its my birthday. spoiling myself a bit. goddamn.
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firstroseofspring · 3 days
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thinking pondering to me john torres is like. what if u met a woman. with confidence and dignity and a strong moral backbone. you meet and she makes a distinct impression with her honesty and her frankness and she seems like she's always sure of what she wants and what she needs and she's so different from anyone else you know and thats exciting and she's exciting and she likes you specifically you. and you don't think much of you but it feels good to be liked by someone like that. you love her of course. you marry her. of course!
#diary#miral of course miral this post as all other posts on my blog is about miral. head in my hands#john torres and his projected insecurities and shitty behavior you will always be infamous.#im so deeply rooted in my headcanons for them i have au's . girl the universe isnt even that well established ?#call me b'elanna torres the way i'm turning miral and john over in my head to figure out what the heck happened#in my head john and miral are like. john voice she's never stuttered in her life she always knows what to do she's very serious strong head#on her shoulders. my kind of woman.#meanwhile miral is like. act first pray on it later was that a mistake? well what is a mistake really this is my path now#and i'll have to see how to handle what has been done. seeing as now it can't be changed shrugs. the honorable thing to do.#i also think they see a lot of their flaws as like-#consequences of their cultures and not like personal flaws which can sometimes be true but also sometimes they are very much flaws in the#person.#miral is a little too sure of herself bordering on arrogance and likes control. john is like ahh klingons and their surefootedness :)#<- a little correct but also very wrong.#john is very like. at his worst a cold shoulder bad at personal confrontation kind of a pushover quick to resent but usually just seems#serious and occasionally quiet . normally social tho! so miral is like. a consequence of his upbringing that can't be changed. i will#take him as he is.#which is a nice sentiment and would normally be applied well unless you are these two specifically.#what happens when its 10 or even just five years later and you're getting tired of the cowardice? what happens when its five years later and#you can't go a day without arguing? what happens then.#did you confuse her arrogance for poise for assertiveness? did you confuse her recklessness with courage? whos wrong her or you?#miral voice is he a fool does he not care? he's content to just stand by? cower?#i think from the klingon pov a man who isn't willing to fight for you and your relationship must be devastatinggggg#not literally of course here but also literally. lol#but yeah what does it do to you when the person you love won't even argue with you anymore just totally pulls away? leaves. head in my hands#who do you think fell first. idk but i know who fell harder! :) <- tears in my eyes#i really like pathways where they made miral like a chatty woman and had her offer to host parties for b'elanna and her friends it was so#sweet i should read it again.#i like her to be a little crazy though <3 :)
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eggsistential-basket · 2 months
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every year i survive until Christmas and then i survive until next Christmas
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orcelito · 2 months
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I'm being like astoundingly social lately. Starting from Thursday last week, I saw my girlfriend, then spent time with family on Friday, then saw my girlfriend again on Saturday + some of her friends, then watched a movie and drew stuff with friends on Sunday, then had a session 0 for new dnd on Monday, then watched anime with a friend on Tuesday. Off day on Wednesday. Then on THURSDAY I hung out with my girlfriend, had a study session with friend group (with mixed success at the studying part), AND watched anime with a friend again. And then today, watched a different anime with a different friend.
And TOMORROW I'm going to a concert with family and a friend, Sunday I'm hanging out with my girlfriend, then Monday I've got dnd thing again (probably? Need to double check). And then potentially more hangouts to come.
It's insane. What is this new social me. I don't think I've ever hung out with this many different people in such a short time before.
#speculation nation#it's fun though i probably will need to slow down a bit to not tire myself out bfkshfkd#the concert and the family thing last weekend are not normal occurences at least.#the movie and the study group were both from my discord server. tho with mostly different sets of people.#i think im at like... in just the past week ive hung out with... well...#3 on friday (plus saying hi to others at the temple but i dont rly spend time with them)#7 on saturday... i think it was like.. six? on sunday? i think. then Uhhhh#4 on monday. i think. 1 on tuesday. thursday had 3 new with 3 repeats from earlier in the week#and today was another person i hung out with earlier in the week#which puts me at TWENTY FOUR....... different people ive hung out with this week....holy shit....#granted on saturday 6 of them were my girlfriend's friends and im not very good at talking in a group irl#so i mostly talked to my girlfriend there. but even if U didnt count them that's still 18 people i hung out with#crazy. mind boggling. im a total introvert so this is like unprecedented.#I SWEAR I DONT NORMALLY COUNT PEOPLE LIKE THIS..... im just like. trying to put it into context for myself#and surprisingly i dont feel That exhausted by it... it helps that only 3 of these days had in person interactions#bc thats more tiring to me than just talking online. physical space takes more energy to emote etc etc#i think this is good for me honestly. spending time with people. not just wasting my life away with video games. you know.#tho i do need to balance it with writing.. i havent written anything since i posted the itnl update#and i rly need to get that reverse bang fic finished....hmmmmmmmm#ah well. i'll try to get lots of writing done next week. next week for sure..!!
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piplupod · 2 months
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are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me
#i feel like absolute shit rn fsdjkl#i think i talked too much today even though i barely spoke at all#but every time i talked someone else had smth to say and then the leader guy had to keep coming back to me like ''what were u saying?''#which was rly nice of him but like. if i just kept my mouth shut then he wouldnt have had to do that at all fdjskl#i mean like. he did ask me questions directly a few times. so he was trying to help me have opportunities to speak#but fsjkl i just. i feel bad for talking bc i know everyone else wants to talk constantly#and i can do without speaking fsdjkl i just... i kept stumbling over my words so badly and it was rly embarrassing ;-;#but i'd get nervous and panicked bc i knew i'd be interrupted at any second so i was just trying to find the shortest way to say my thing#but then i'd trip over my words bc i was so nervous and it'd take too long#and i just felt like i wasn't putting enough effort into my tone so i probably sounded rly flat today and i just. urgghhh#holding my head and tugging at my hair. why can't i just be normal dgjkl why am i so fucking annoying and weird and difficult#i dont know 😭 today was rly difficult bc i was just feeling kind of awful and like i was in the way all day#i did find some yarn colours i need at a flea market though and also some dip pens that i've always wanted to try#i figure $3 is a steal of a deal to try out dip pens instead of buying them brand new for like $30 fdsjkl#so there was something good from today! i just feel like i was annoying to be around all day idk fdsjkl#i honestly probably was totally fine sdfjkl i just. argh#and i hate going to stores w the centre bc i end up following the group leader around after a while bc i dont ever buy anything#i look around at the stuff i like to look at and then i am done and don't want to be a nuisance by being hard to find when everyone-#-else is done so i just figure sticking by the group leader is the best idea. stores dont like when i hang around the front for long fdsjkl#but then i just feel like a weird little kid trailing after their parent 😭 i wish i could just be an AdultTM but augh augh augh#what a fucking weird thing for me to do dsfjkl i just. dont know what else to do bc stores get annoyed w me if i wait at the front#and i dont want to wait outside bc then they'll forget im out there and look for me inside when theyre done LMAO#if i had income then maybe i'd be able to spend longer looking at things but fdsjkl theres only so much looking u can do when u dont buy#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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anotheruntitledsong · 6 months
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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noping out li k e
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the only real major difference between rgg and y7 arakawa's wardrobe is how he wears his coat + bling and the scarf but it's such a difference
#snap chats#like with jo it's pretty much an entirely difference guy not just design but personality wise (borrowing from the previous still tho obvi)#but masumi just tones it down in y7.......#'snap what got you thinkin a this. and why are you tapping yuor keyboard so fuckin aggressively?????'#FIRST OFF i'm COLD. fun fact after my dad decided to confront my mom bout cheating he had to sleep in the basement for months#before he moved of course. and now im really grasping how awful that must have been#LIKE BEING BOOTED TO THE BASEMENT FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG SUCKS ANYWAY BUT god im freezing#ironic... im down here cause i dont want to see my ma.... history repeats im just like my father etc etc ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT#SORRYYYYYYY MAIN POINT TIME. SORRY. MAIN POINT.#i wanted to draw arakawa with his rgg outfit more. like i already dick around with daigo's outfit when i draw him#it wouldnt even be dicking around if i did it for arakawa... just choosin to draw the previous outfit#at the very least i might steal the barcelets and his shirt because his rgg shirt is a different style#also it's more open. PEEPAW.#i totally forgot to mention on the last time i drew his outfit#but if you saw me using the same purple and pink i use for jo no you didnt. but you did look at it right now#every time i think of rgg arakawa's outfit though i just hear mirror b's theme from pokemon gales of darkness#this is a compliment because mirror b is ALSO incredibly swaggy oh my god i have to listen to his theme brb#my disappointment when i grew up and found out mirror b wasn't a girl though. because for some reason i thought he was a girl#and just ignored every instance of referring to him as a guy.#alright im done being insane i have to sketch a thing then im gonna uhhhhhhhhhhhh watch stuff the rest of the night :) BYE
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dawntheduckrb · 11 months
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Sleeping like he pays rent
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girl, u started posting things for Christmas and then just went missing 😭😭😭 what happened to you??? is everything okay?
Hello I'm okay I promise!
Yeah that one was on me for thinking a December writing challenge would be a fun little thing I could do in the evenings whilst on an ICU hospital rotation 🙃 long story short it was super busy in the department and I stayed late pretty much every night and then had to do the keeping the human alive things and study for quiz time at rounds with the specialist each morning so I literally did nothing but study, eat and sleep for the whole month and I just didn't get a second to relax or write 😭
It has been CRAZY since the start of December!! I had a week off for Christmas and then I was travelling again for more placement, I've been applying to jobs and my finals are in 4 months time (which sounds like a while but I have 5 years of content to review and full time rotations in the day). Have also been lowkey seeing a new guy so that's been taking up a lil bit of headspace too 😶
I've also decided 2023 has got to be the year I decide to grow up and get my shit together before I enter the real world and honestly who knew meal plans and food shopping and working out took so much time!? Not me.
As the guys who've been here for a while know, I'm never gone forever!! I'm gonna need a couple more weeks to get through a round of job interviews, finalise my revision plan, survive an equine hospital rotation and get settled in a healthier routine, then I'm planning on making a partial return once I've got a bit more control over things and I can afford a bit of a break from all of this, but I won't be back online and posting regular-regular until the end of May after my exams
The good news is I'm taking two months properly off in the summer so you can bet your assess that's going to be a project finishing marathon!!
The Christmas fics are going on pause and will be re-released next year (I know, I suck, I'm so sorry for letting you all down) and I'm going to finish Flat Spin and Obvious by September and hopefully work through my request pile as we go from now onwards to keep me in the writing mindset
Anyway, I love and miss you guys like mad! I'm shocked by how much attention this blog is getting even when I'm not posting and I promise once I've got my real life together I will be back. In the meantime keep rereading and sending stuff in, I love hearing from you all!! <3
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