#i can imagine a realistic future for myself (albiet idealized i guess)!!
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hey, really question, is suicide ever not even an option once you acknowledge it or am I just stuck with the whispering feeling of "you wouldn't feel like this if you were dead :)" at every inconvenience forever??
#suicide tw#because id say im doing really mentally ok#not great but not actively in danger#but my plans got totally fucked today#and now i feel unproductive and horrible#(even though i did other arguably productive things i didnt do the productive things that i wanted to get done)#(and i dont know if ill have the time or motivation to do them before their deadline now)#and that thought hit me like a fucking bus#and i wouldnt call myself suicidal at this time!!#not even really passively!!#i have shit i want to live for!!#i can imagine a realistic future for myself (albiet idealized i guess)!!#but its still! fucking! there!!!!!
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