#even tho ive only been in it for like a minute
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been playing peak recently
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rainbow dash and j makes so much sense i think
gift for @hayleymarriedjakuraii !! hope u enjoy <3
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt fanart#j rosales#j moreno#arei nageishi#jarei#my art#artlying#i havent drawn ponies since like 6th grade why was this so hard#also its AREI DAY !!#i forgot and i dont have time to draw anything else#so i added her last minute oops#silly fun fact!! i used to not rlly like jarei but ive now been enlightened#i need to draw them Even More to atone i think#later tho too many ideas not enough time#more j art coming your way guys i just have hw to do first#not to get real and personal for a sec but#i also had two family members pass in the past couple months and have been doing Not Too Well lately#but drdt and esp content from the vas has really been helpful in lifting my spirits#so i really wanted to do something for hayley while shes going through something similar#idk how much this will actually help but i hope it brings u a bit of joy during hard times!!!#but yeah this was the only gift i planned#the other j art coming up is just bc you have too many fire ideas and i have to draw them all lest i perish
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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the creation stream happened while i was at school so im watching the vod now but i keep having to pause it every two seconds to pace and go mio dio........OH MIO DIO........hand on head shinji chair emoji
#tubbo#q!tubbo#qsmp creation#qsmp#im only like 10 minutes into the stream even tho ive been sitting here 30 minutes#its just. so much
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everyday i constantly think of masato's wheelchair and if that's his only one/main one no wonder he's so pissed at everyone
#snap chats#someone pointed this out to me like last year so im stealing it sorry cause I Think Of It Constantly#the handling of masato's disability will forever annoy me esp with how vague it is but esp his chair#one day ill draw masato with an appropriate wheelchair. maybe then he'll be happy for once#in a way i guess it could tie into how restricted or trapped he felt since the type of chair he's shown is more like. a hospital one#and not one youd really use as a regular user- like in that vein it is a bit of storytelling in that he can ONLY go out with help#since hospital chairs are SO much different from home chairs ESPECIALLY in regards to mobility and independence the user has#AND NOT TO MENTION HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THOSE CHAIRS ARE get his ass a proper cushion P L E A S E#like it portrays the idea that its unfathomable for him to go anywhere on his own and so in that vein . Interesting Storytelling#theres a lot of implications going on here if im so honest and again it makes for Really Interesting Story Telling#however i refuse to give rgg credit like that when it comes to disabilities. ... they havent earned that from me yet#see this is why the vagueness of his condition annoys me because he's shown to be independent enough to roll himself to his elevator#and presumably get himself dressed but he cant have a proper chair ?#because ik there are people who have expressed they have conditions where even writing is tiring#so if his condition was in-line with that and it was hard for him to push himself in his chair then i could buy it#obviously the issue lies with his lungs but i just want to know the full extent yk...#to wrap this up tho ive been thinking of character design in rgg and how we dont give credit to it enough#sooooo if i make a second post ten minutes from now thats why cause i keep forgetting to spam my thoughts on here LMAO#ok bye
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oh my god i think i may be sick. i had so much planned for this week.
#just a cold but i have tickets for a lotr play on wednesday. do u guys know how long ive been looking forward to that.#also a few bands are playing at this club i like this weekend its like a whole event :(#i had better get better SUPER quick#on top of it i have a package. that has fabric glue in it. now i cant go and get it.#well even if i wasnt sick it would suck to go get it. its only a few km away but the public transport option thats the fastest to get there#wait actually nvm they switched the routes#so id only have to walk like 15 minutes to the stop and then 20 mins to get where i want#and i knoww im lucky to have a good public transport stop 15 mins from me but i also have one like 3 minutes away from me but u cant get to#many places with the two (2) bus routes that use that stop#sorry for complaining even tho i live in a place with real fucking good public transport#leevi talks
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how the hell do u meet ppl irl. how do ppl do that shit
#having a moment#very lonely here idk#tinder was a complete bust. no matches despite goin thru p much everyone within range on the app#a friend suggested going to a game store but idk theyre kinda sparse here and last time i went to one it was almost all men#that i have 0 interest in. they didnt even have any yugioh cards or packs or anything despite advertising it#ive been to the library a few times but idk nobody rly talks to u there#i go out somewhat often to get coffee n stuff and nobody talks to u there either#granted i go to dunkin and its usually pretty empty. maybe a local spot would have more ppl#only “success” ive hadd is barq. ive added a few local furries but idk we dont rly talk#i regularly talk to 1 ive met on there tho. a trans woman. even visited her once#shes a 30 minute drive on the highway away from me despite being in the same city and she cant drive :(#i do think shes pretty id like to visit her again. im a bit nervous to ask her if she wanna do anything tho#ugh#i need to move in with one of my gfs im going crazy here#simultaneously it feels impossible for me to move out of my parents home. life shit is scary
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not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga
#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater#so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS#only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS!#he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it#and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves#its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT#poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later#😬#i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out 😂#ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words#anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog#the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good#they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to#the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof#how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events#the whole thing is so bone chilling#it gets my heartrate up lol#PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain#EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep'#and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use'#rocking back and forth sobbing crying#remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me!#cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs#like they did with hamilto.n#hamilto.n never stopped being good actually#yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed
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maybe some 10hour minecraft solo would fix me
#i dunno#im not sure why ive been all Eughh abt the server bf likes#part of it might be the New aspect of it and another part might be just how active it is and how many ppl are there#even tho im not like. ever direct or one on one with them its like#im at a party sort of#the chat is active too much and That. drains me a lot faster than i realize#so either a smaller server a Much smaller server or a solo world for a minute#would fix me#because i do want to minecraft#i miss it its good its nice it gives me something to do that i likely wouldn't ever get shamed for#(in this day and age... back in my day id get bullied in school about it)#(not usually by students but some did Judge me Heavily but mostly it was teachers who were like. 'video games are violenntt!!') but anyways#i wanna like the server bf likes so badly#but every single time i log on im like i cant find a good spot ever theres too many people and hhhh#so i log off of it pretty quickly even tho i Want. to like it#i jus dont think i caaann#and hi leo if ur reading this which i Hope you are <3#i would've told you this earlier. If i found out and unpacked this earlier but I'm only unpacking it now and at the time of#typing this i am so so so so SO sleepy and you are possibly just waking up or about to in an hour or so#so mwah mwah ily and such and gmmm#and im sorry if the short minecraft sessions felt Bad but it 10000% wasnt you#the uniqueness of that server js fun dont get me wrong but i dont think it can be like an All Time server for me#so make your own lil space there and ill pop in from time to time#if u want to at least#nya.txt#ow why cramps..#im nit bleeding or anything jus empty cramps bc i missed some shots oops#but its tolerable i just wnana sleeeeeepp
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Noooooo the medicine I'm taking is making me dizzy 😔
#mostly been taking it in the evening so ive been in bed when it would start taking its effect#hopefully it doesnt last long and i dont have double today#it's not too bad of dizziness tho only lasts like a minute at most still annoying tho#talkies
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im genuinely going to be INSUFFERABLE when chapters 3 and 4 come out like you have no idea.
#i cannot BELIEVE i've had the life-threatening deltarune illness for nearly 3 YEARS at this point. thats fucking insane#anyways im literally never gonna shut up about it. you have no idea. and *I* have no idea honestly. this will be the first time im#playing new deltarune content with ALLLLLLLL of this shit in mind. i played chp 2 as someone who was obsessed w chp 1 in middle school#on a very surface level. and ofc we had so much less then that the theory landscape was COMPLETELY different so even if i had#been aware of that side of things as a kid it wouldnt have made much of a difference probably. but these chapters will be an#ENTIRELY different experience that i am in NO way prepared for. like ive NEVER been invested in something like i am in deltarune#and ive never been SO deep in a theory community like i am in deltarune's. but that only rlly happened after chp 2#the sweepstakes was like a little taste of whats to come. but 3&4 will be a whole new experience that might genuinely kill me i think#im gonna take 80 years to get through them and even then im still gonna miss a billion things on my playthrough#me playing chp 2 like WAHHHH DELTARUNE THIS IS SO FUN vs me playing the new chapters completely locked in eyes 1 inch from the screen#scrutinizing every single pixel and reading into every word of dialogue for 30 minutes per line#im very scared about how my decision making's gonna go though. cuz these will be the first chapters where im playing them aware of#the player-kris distinction. before i could just chill and choose whatever i want but now i fear im just gonna get stunlocked#for sure im going to spend hours agonizing over which thing to choose trying to determine what i think kris would do. even tho#it probably doesnt matter. anyways i need to stop escaping to tumblr and finish this lets play#im doing the thing where i get too insane over the hyperfixation and have to stop interacting with it bcuz im going too crazy#serena.txt
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i had an eye test done a few days ago and one of the tests gave me mad vertigo, it only lasted a few minutes but i still have a major headache and nausea and it flares up when i’m scrolling. obviously the answer is to get off my phone but it’s making me think of the march that shall not be named when i couldn’t look at fucking anything and ya girl is getting nervous
#i know its from the vertigo#i know#i just need to give it a few days and itll go away#but that march was literally the worst month of my life and i live in permanent fear of it#this is like 5% as bad as that so i know i need to just chill#but if it would just go away already thatd be very appreciated!!#side note guess who needs glasses ✌🏻#i have astigmatism which we been knew and my left eye is a bit weaker than my right which i also knew#but he didnt say anything about degeneration or anything even tho i emphasised that im always at home and always in the dark#so that was a little weight off my chest#but you know the big silver round thing they bring in front of your face that you rest your chin on#and they put the different lenses in and they ask one or two?#that spun me out something awful#i could only look through it for like a minute before i had to be like yo i cant do this#having my peripheral cut off just completely fucked me up#again it only lasted like five minutes#but still being nauseous and headachy is just making me nervous#i just need to remember it had an external cause and it will go away and theres nothing that suggests itll turn into another march#positive fucking attitude#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#chronic illness#dysautonomia
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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The meower
#Queued... technically March 23rd?#I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz#either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total#well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but#ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!!#Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong#Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !!#Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic#atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK?#I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig#I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later#Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho#and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab#ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho#ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE??#augh soo many cool things.....#Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana?#ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too?#I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC??#I started it and got abt one page done on the plane#I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk#Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all?#I hope soooooooooooo#Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE??#i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^#Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U#queue drop#weather report#WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT
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ok chat explain to me why ive seen an uptick in mine cope in the past like two months. what happened.
#snap chats#i was going to make this post earlier after seeing like three people be like 'where's mine post mine rgg'#but then i was like 'no its whatever' BUT A FOURTH POST HAS HIT MY EYES LIKE SEVEN HOURS LATER#LIKE WHAT WHAT IS IT you'd think something happened to cause this but y8 was like seven months ago#i'd ask who died but Evidently mine did and it's taken fifteen years for the hard cope to begin#like ive only ever seen this with nishiki fans but i havent even seen them in a hot minute#nishiki did die sooner tho. peace has been made ... mine fans are still in the 'rage' stage i fear. some denial.#i hope im just missing something and this is an elaborate self aware joke cause TRULY what is going on fheLKJVEKL#seeing people say theyre gonna show something mine related at the summit later this month like girl no they are not#be quiet or im engaging in friendly fire. i wouldnt but still#like i dont go on twitter much bar to post and like. look at yaoi so maybe i missed something but#it can only be funny for so long HEEELP HES DEAD AND NEVER COMING BACK GO HOME
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i hate knowing that i would be so fucking good at and have so much fun with GTA RP while also being physically incapable of even trying it out.
#krav talks#god is keeping me from doing GTA RP bcus they know it would completely take over my life and all i would do every single day is GTA RP#just watching it scratches an itch in my brain i can only imagine what actively participating would feel like#i just hope that when im finally physically capable of it its not like. completely dead and gone.#and also i mean. i could just. make a mute character. thats the main problem#but also that would limit my RP abilities so much#even tho i can type super fast typing does make me overthink myself#vs just talking in improv forces me to come up with something quickly and flows better#the one thing that ive always hated about RPG-types like fallout or sims or the like is that after the first playthru it gets sooo boring#bcus everything becomes so predictable#and mmos ive never liked bcus its so strange and uncomfortable to just see all these ppl around but have no immersive way to interact#but GTA RP and especially nopixel is like. EXACTLY what ive been looking for my whole life#i was obsessed with darkrp gmod servers as a youngin and loved the mix of practical mechanics with roleplaying#ive never been able to do tabletop rpgs bcus of my struggle with audio processing#and ttrpgs are literally 90% listening to someone explain whats happening#vs. roleplaying in multiplayer video games which just let me SEE whats goin on so i'd just have to ask ppl to repeat what they said#rather than asking a game master to repeat what they just said but theyve spent the past 5 minutes explaining the situation in detail
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