#even tho it isnt mean
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Me when
Me when someone interacts with stuff i post or reblog
#heh...#i dont know why i do it#i just feel mean if i dont#even tho it isnt mean#and they dont care#i still like doing it
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had to draw this to understand the way i feel about him now that the manga's ended. 🥲 on that note: if you like hawks and his ending, maybe don't read my tags lol. it's not bashing (imo) but they're not v nice. 😅
bg + unobstructed pose under the cut!
his expression's a lil different 'cuz i only changed the merged layer, all the lighting effects already flattened onto it. 💀 alas.
#hawks#mha hawks#bnha hawks#takami keigo#keigo takami#bnha#bnha fanart#mha#mha fanart#spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#it's not very positive lol i don't really like the way his character ended 🥲#i think his hero worship for endeavor blinded him from seeing or doing anything that could make a difference#i was so let down when he didm't have any sort of critique or moral dilemma after the touya reveal#and just immediately supported endeavor--it made me think he wss incapable of being critical of his idol.#only further underscored with the way he remembers his endeavor plushie while he defends the rabking system.#like. he thinks about his childhood toy of his hero while he defends the system that ultimately caused that ''hero'' to ruin his family.#so blinded by that pedestal that he unironically thinks about the BIGGEST example of why the ranking system does NOT work#WHILE he defends said system.#he was introduced as this morally complicated guy and instead of his childhood worship of a flawed guy making him more interesting#by having him really THINK about what it means that his hero inadvertently created a super villain#he was instead flattened into an endeavor fan boy. and even tho he was introduced as a guy w a complicated bg of#villainous father + harshly trained by the HPSC from a young age he still doesn't do very much with the system of which he's gained charge.#if he thought of the plushie as a memory of what it meant to have a symbol of hope in his hands it's like...#hawks... abolishing the ranking system wont stop merch and news articles and good PR from happening...#anyways yeah. he was one of my faves for a really long time but the way he ends... i dont like that guy.#that being said him becoming president of the HPSC isnt smth i hate even tho idve given him a vacay and his sought-after free time.#and i like that he brings a katana around now. i tried to make the projection make it look like his epilogue self has wings.#oh and i hated the tiny epilogue panel that made it look like endeavor replaced his entire set of kids. :) just. absolutely loathed it. :))
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Another, zzz
#wip#queue à la queue leu leu u.u#last suguru sketch i shared made me think of this one (because of the pose ig? symbolic(???) back hug from gojo tipa deal??? uh)#kinda exited to see the final of this ? idk when ill be in the mood to work on my idea of the type of rendering this should get#but in my head 'it will look pretty 😌'#not in the mood to do those kind of details tho so.. ciao#satosugu#呪術廻戦#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#stsg#gojo satoru#gojo satoru fanart#getou suguru#getou suguru fanart#夏油傑#jujutsu kaisen#五条悟#stsg fanart#i feel like this drawing will get modified (as in 'this is no good ; ERASE. REDO !) A loOOoooot when i next work on it#but slay ig#(i do know that atm there are uh.... i mean... gojo has two set of hands (because i was sleepy. got distracted. coulnd pick a set of hands..#i dont know. ALL OF THE ABOVE... something something... but you have to understand..! im a dumbass!!!#things happen!!!! happy little accidents.. !!!)#im outing myself as a distracted mess rn#“no no no!” i continue into the mic “youve got me wrong... there isnt even proof SINCE THE CROP OF THIS POST HIDES THE EVIDENCE” i singsong
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anticipatory grief
#even tho cats are the theme here this isnt about pet death. i mean he is the cat. i wont get too into it#my art#original#artists on tumblr#cats#his name is masc kitty
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You know what we should bring back?
Older christianity. I mean the anti government, anti military, community based christianity. The one that cared the most about peace, equality, mercy, kindness, and radical love. The one with shared property. The one that didn't conform to society but instead existed mostly outside of it. The one where noone considered one sin worse than another because in the end, we are all sinners trying our best to be better.
#“progressive christians are ignoring the bible except for ”love thy neighbour“”#yeah well LOVE OVER VERSES#quit it. im tired of this. just. can we just be nice to everyone?? please?? peace and love on planet earth??#“being gay is a sin tho” “wow this is so immodest” do i look like i care? does jesus look like he cares? i dont think so.#go stab out your eye or smth if you wanna live by the law so badly huh???#funny how suddenly it isnt literal and shouldnt be done because humanity learned and grew since that was written#*points to the verses used to justify homophobia* i mean literally this whole concept changed since then it isnt even the same thing#screaming at the top of my lungs while punching the wall like please please dont cherry pick the bible#“*blank* is a sin” do you like seafood tho?? is your clothing from mixed fabrics?? did you shave??#im just saying that maybe you should let the spirit guide you instead of following the law blindly. what do i know tho. im just a stranger.#queer christian#progressive christianity#i guess??#my religious rants#leftist christianity? anarchist christianity? i do not know??
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devotionduo so codependent that when they try to be less so they end up hurting each other what if i kms
#mine.txt#zam hated being relied on so Heavily in s5 so now mapicc values team interindependence to a level that i dont think?? hes had before#which means hes taken more liberty in grinding for himself and his teammates a lot more than he used to#and because zam places a lot of value in himself in being the team grinder he feels useless and unneded#and since zams a huge grinder it means mapiccs main method of helping him is through violence but since hes a pacifist this season#and while technically zam is fine with other ppl killing and most importantly killing For him; he doesnt really have any beef that requires#killing as a form of revenge which means mapicc cant do the main thing that zam (and anyone else really) uses him for#and they both want to do and be more for the other but theyre stuck at a standstill cause theyre in uncharted territory#cause theyre friendly but not teamed (or even pseudo-teamed like in early s5)#i will say tho mapes more active in trying to find ways to hang out with zam#but if there isnt a clear opportunity to do so hes so Weird about it lmao like he basically just kinda. hovers over him lmao#whether in chat or otherwise#but when an opportunity Does present itself tho he seizes on it basically immediately#like the stalking is easy pickings but theres also gaias hand and literally anytime zam asks him to kill someone for him#ok but seriously tho the fact that mapicc basically declared them as teammates (even if its not official)#after he finished with the stalking was so sdfsdklaghsaljh#like bruh why does zam even have doubts about mapicc prioritizing him above everyone else he doesnt even do all that for his actual team 😭#devotions
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not to step where i dont belong but why do i see shippers and saiki aroace truthers beefing all the time ... guys :( .. guys PLEASE .. WE CAN HAVE BOTH. I WANTS BOTH CAKES.
#as a saiki aroace truther myself its impossible to deny his relationship with Kokomi#like theres SOMETHING there#they are CLOSE#besties or dating guys its anyones guess#saiki to me is def aroace but that doesnt mean he isnt close with people. he loves his friends. sees them as family.#i just think his perception of romance is Different#this also goes for most other ships with him too#a lot of that stuff gets lost in our traditional views of romance tbh even though that complexity makes it so so interesting#idk i think his like. apathy. is so key to him#a core trait hes trained into himself thatll take time to break down. let himself be more emotional. in his own way.#i want that to be in my damn romance !!!#PLEASEE#anyways i lost the plot a little bit#guys we can have ships and aroace people !!#two cakes !! two cakes !!#will admit tho i havent finished the show yet cus ive been Scared. ik ill be devistated when i finish watching so im putting it off#for the record i am on season 2. in the middle of it#how he uses romance as a tool actually is kinda supporting this. he just doesnt view it as the same as others. THAT IS INTERESTING TO ME MA#I LOVE IT BRO#anyways snzzzz#saiki k#saiki no psi nan
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"From triumph to failure is but one step."
+ the usual
I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.
+ version without text
My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:
Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.
Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3
I. Renault
At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.
II. Ferrari
Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.
III. Aston
Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.
Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(
#woooo yeah totally a spanish gp poster sure sure.....#idk i cant pretend to be relevant. i just wanted to draw matadors bcs it was spain gp wknd#maybe next year ill draw him as the prince of asturias#very proud of the narrative of this though#I do think it's very relavant to the story of his career and his relationship to the spanish gp#see i even downloaded a special font! sdjkglr#also do let me know which is your fav Nando on this poster!!!! <3#even tho the aston nando is lowkey the reason behind this whole poster. im super smitten with renault nando#i wonder which fernando would be 'freeze'#also i swear one day im gonna accidentally stab myself with the big ass sword i use to take ref pics for matador au#HOPE THIS ISNT TOO SAD EVEN THO I KNOW IT IS!!!#i mean it was never really supposed to be triumphant. more just *heavy thoughts*#but the lacklustre results and the fact that i feel like i havent even seen nando that much this wknd fueled the depressing read more#i am not immune to being overly dramatic and angsty </3#hey you never know man maybe this will work as reverse psychology and he'll do well in a couple hours!! we'll see...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#matador au#2024 spanish gp#fa14
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and also "putting everyone in a simulation will make it all ok 👍" and also "let's park next to this random system's sun" and also "we can't live on our own planet because of our own folly" and so on
#and also an inablity to accept the inevitable...etc etc#i thought of some more but then i forgot them 😋#originally wanted to post this with other sillies but then i was like. well i dont wanna spoil anyone on either a these games so erm. ya#nine sols#outer wilds#nine sols spoilers#outer wilds spoilers#outer wilds echoes of the eye#echoes of the eye spoilers#echoes of the eye#if youve played nine sols could i recommend outer wilds: a space exploration game where u play as a cute and short lookin alien whos#unraveling the mysteries of their solar system although there isnt any combat and although there are horrors theyre not like. well.#nobodies bein harvested thats for sure. and its very much about the story#and if youve played outer wilds uhh. i. dont really know if i can recommend nine sols even though i Can summarize it as a game where u do#explore and there is space and u Are an alien (from a humans pov) and you Are cute and short (from a humans pov)(until u learn the horrors)#and there Are horrors but erm. well. shrug emote. it Is a combat game thats the primary reason#the horrors are less the horrors of space and how easy it is for you to die and the idea of said causes of death and also the unknown. and#more the sins of some REALLY fucked up cats. ethically dubious science sins. actual guts bein spilled. i mean i aint actin like the warning#of the game id recommend lookin those up. sure is a game tho (i cried)(just like w outer wilds)#feels like i could recommend a non combat game to a combat game player easier than the other way round#the theoretical combat game player would be capable of playing a non combat game right#feels harder to imagine the other way around. then again i Did find outer wilds mechanically difficult at times in a way that combat games#can challenge me. so. shrug#all that matters is if u enjoyed the dialogue n interactions in nine sols...if u didnt vibe w that then im unsure how much outer wilds woul#vibe for you. etc etc#idk why i started typing up a whole ass recommendation in the tags. anyway have at ye#idk who'd read this far but i salute you FSDHLFSDHKSFDH
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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Misc Thyme sketches & doodles over the last few months or so (two of them are old sketches from before I finalized her outfit design so don't worry about the missing details lol)
#thyme#schellisart#schellisocs#hi fi rush oc#hfr oc#hi fi rush#hfr#the concept for the phase transition splash is pretty old and i have to make a few edits to it but i think it has a similar vibe#i mean when her core (power stabilizer) gets overloaded it all has to go somewhere right?#somewhere that isnt straight into her body tho i dont think that much electricity going into flesh is good. might i even say Really Bad#also shes just looking at 808 from a neutral standpoint since she doesnt have any hostility towards chai and the gang personally#but 808 doesnt forget and is still very Very mad i think
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clara voice: is that what i look like from the back?
#15&ruby: smash/pass#15&ruby: whAt?#15: i take offense?#ruby: you wOULD?#15: well its different for me#ruby: thats YOU#15: exactly#ruby: so clonefucking is a yay then?#15: oh definitely. you wouldnt?#ruby: no but hang on does this even count?#15: what you wanna get the clonefucker jury out here?#call the council of clonefuckers official to judge him enough of a clone to be worth fucking?#ruby: you are... weirdly defensive about this#15: experience. you'll get it when youre older#ruby: okay 6 word horror story?#15: god i know right#ruby: but would you also do a real clone tho. one that looks like you#15: i mean#ruby: bit vain isnt it?#15: can you blame me tho#ruby: ...#15: Can You Blame Me Tho Rubes??#ruby: im not answering that#15: sigh. oh well. everyone always asks would you fuck your clone. nobody thinks to ask would your clone fuck you?#imagine the temporal road trip they embark on to play smash or pass with every previous doctor#what do we do with existential horror? we sexualise it <3
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horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)
horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)
#something something all three of them have their fates determined by an outside force#ermmmm but horror doesn't- yeah he does. what aliza does decides EVERYTHING for horror and horrortale#just because its not direct like dust or killer doesn't mean theyre all subject to the same community x3#PARALLELS MTT PARALLELS FOR THE 500TH TIME THEY HAVE SOOOO MANY PARALLELS OHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDD#mtt going to visit horrortale would just be dust eying aliza (out of paranoia. he knows shes a good kid)#and then killer knowing in his head that the poor kid aliza that horror weirdly seems to like doesn't have control over her actions#she doesn't know horror doesn't know nobody knows except killer. is that a bit sad?#theyre all living in the dark unaware of the reality of their world. i mean thats how its meant to be after all thats what the players want#but....... it would be tempting to tell horror...... hehehehehe- and then he's interrupted by horror and dust#(theyre trying to get killer to eat papyrus's spaghetti in their place. he's the only one that can stomach it even though there's no human)#mtt i love thee SOOOOO much. theyre back in horrortale for the holidays ✨✨ coming back to visit the family ✨✨ WHAT horror's visiting.......#not dust or killer of course. this isnt their world noooope thats not papyrus. but that doesn't stop dust from having everyone like him#its just like the good old days :333 except now there's three sanses and triple the insanity :333 almost like nothing's changed!!!!!#oh killer??? yeah he's there. probably won't try taking up the sansish type of role horror and dust do but he'll find a way to get used 2 i#after all the point of this is whatever he wants it to be now ;33333 were these tags all just a reference to my mtt fic. yes. yes they were#LMAOOOO i forgot that aliza didn't fall into horrortale yet in my fic. still a fun thing to imagine tho!!!#i think it would be fun having aliza be the first of humans for horrortale to deal with that they won't instantly kill#itll be hard but really rewarding for all of them........ especially horror i believe!!! man he didnt even go through therapy but#just being away from horrortale and out doing new and FUN and NOT MURDEROUS things has done wonders for him :3#i need to get to writing smh..... winter break is the day after tomorrow (TECHNICALLY AT 2:32 PM SINCE THSYS WHEN SCHOOL ENDS SO HAHAHA)#so ill probably work on it more over break since i'll have nothing to do hehe.......#today was an amazing day for me ✨ TWO mtt angst death related hcs..... some work on my latest chapter i've yet to post..... SWAPINVERSE FAN#ARE YOU KIDDING ME MORR SWAPINVERSE ART THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING THABK YOU UNTITLED29876011111 I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS!!!!!#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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heeyyy yaaalllll
so i was thinking to myself, i love punkflower. i really do.
what if there was a hobie in miles' universe and he didnt have to do the whole long distance relationship across dimensions thing, though? just keep his lil secret crush on spiderpunk a secret and keep it pushing, only to literally bump into his own hobie brown in 1610 one day?
wouldnt that be cool, guys?
wouldnt it? :)
wouldnt :) it :) be :) so :) cool? :) and so cute too?
:)
update: >part 2 here<
Miles was late.
It was his first day back, the very beginning of his junior year at Visions Academy and he was late. God damn.
His parents were really gonna kill him this time, no doubt about it. There weren't even any good Spiderman excuses he could use to weasel his way out of getting into trouble this time! He'd just have to cross his fingers and pray that his chemistry teacher for this year wasn't a total hardass like last year's English teacher.
Maybe he could make up some dumb excuse this time, try to wriggle his way into the professor's good graces with some blatant lie. Anyways, whose dumb idea was it to put him in a class so damn far from the entrance doors so early in the mor--
BRRRRRRING!
Miles tore around a corner just as the final bell rang throughout the mostly-empty hallways, inciting panic in his chest and making him nearly launch himself down another hallway just to get to his class.
In his haste, he nearly knocked over a very tall and very... familiar looking person that happened to be in Miles' trajectory. Luckily, bodies didn't end up colliding but the shock of having a person fly so quickly into their line of sight shocked the both of them into skidding to a sudden stop.
The tall person ended up dropping a textbook and what seemed like an enormous packet of papers, because sheets scattered absolutely everywhere, almost like snow.
Ugh. Of course.
They both stared down at the mess in the middle of the hallway floor for a beat.
Then, Miles exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.
"Aw man, I-I'm sorry! I just uh... here, lemme just--"
They both bent down to quickly scoop up the papers as Miles stuttered and spoke a hundred miles a minute, trying to apologize for the heart-stopping scare he caused. Just as Miles shuffled the papers together in his hands, he finally looked up at the unlucky student he almost football-tackled first thing in the morning... and nearly dropped the papers onto the floor again.
Kneeled right in front of him with papers and a textbook tucked under a skinny arm, long fingers nervously plucking up what was left of the rest of the packet, was none other than... Hobie Brown.
Oh. God.
This Hobie didn't seem to be Miles' Hobie, though.
(Miles' temperature rose a bit as he quickly thought: wait, my Hobie? That's not right, either.)
Instead of large freeform locs that tapered off like wicks, he was sporting long uniform locs that were piled up high in a loose ponytail on his head, most likely due to the school policy that stated boys needed to have hair above the nape of their neck. Miles kinda wondered about that policy, if he ever decided to grow out his hair; would pulling his hair up be enough? Or would they police his hair length and force him to cut it all off?
Well, turns out the answer was literally right in front of him. Another shock to the system right after the first one.
That was Miles' excuse, really. It was just so dang early in the morning and he really really wasn't thinking when he opened his mouth and basically shouted "Hobie?!"
It honest to god sounded like it echoed in the hallway.
He slapped a hand over his mouth, immediately chastising himself for the stupid mistake he made, mentally kicking himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! He wasn't supposed to know this guy obviously, they hadn't even met in their dimension yet!
Hobie, for his part, didn't seem perturbed by this at all though. He took the papers from Miles' hands and straightened himself back up to his full height, offering a hand so that Miles could stand up too.
He shrugged shyly and hid behind a couple locs that happened to fall back into his face, holding the books and papers closer to his chest.
"Uhmmn yeah, sorry. I-I'm runnin' late to my first class so I can't really give any autographs right now. Maybe later... if we see each other, ok?"
Miles blinked owlishly. Did he just say... autographs?
And wait a minute... was this Hobie... American?
Miles' poor little sleep-deprived mind was being blown again and again. He really didn't know if he was ever going to recover from this.
Hobie started to back up and walk away so Miles held his hands up to stop him. "Wait wait wait, autographs? I'm not uh-- sorry, this is weird," he laughed, rubbing his neck. "Nah, man. That's cool. I don't really want any autographs. Are you uh-- are you famous, actually?"
It was this Hobie's turn to blink owlishly now, hesitating a bit. A non-pierced eyebrow was raised as he said, "I... I kinda am...?"
He turned and pointed out the giant window of the hallway that they happened to be standing by, and Miles craned his neck to peer outside.
It smacked him right in the face once his eyes landed on it: a giant billboard fixed atop a neighboring building that depicted Hobie Brown in a luxurious-looking perfume ad. He sported the same locs as he did in real life, wearing shiny-looking makeup and giving the viewer the fiercest, smokiest look Miles has ever seen from a model in a hot minute. He was clutching deep purple satin, wrapped in it, basking in it. A single perfume bottle with a deep purple bow on the neck was photoshopped next to him, matching the overall vibe of the ad.
Miles was rooted to the spot, absolutely gobsmacked. How in the world did he miss that?!
Distantly, a small echo of a conversation he had in what seemed like a lifetime ago floated up from a memory. "I was briefly a runway model" pulsed in his neural pathways for a quick second.
Slowly, the gears started turning in his head. Slowly, he turned back to his dimension's Hobie Brown, who was giving him a strange sort of look.
Miles awkwardly tried to gather himself up, waving his hands around as he struggled for a non-weird explanation to his very weird behavior.
"I-I mean-- ahahaha! Yeah I mean, obviously you're famous! I was just y'know-- playin' with you. Pulling your leg and all that, I guess... heh."
The strange dubious look on Hobie's face didn't budge. "...Right."
Miles coughed conspicuously, trying to change the subject. "But uh yeah, haven't seen you around this school much then! Are you... you in a different grade than me or...?"
The corner of Hobie's mouth twitched suddenly, and for a split second Miles wondered if he said something wrong.
But then Hobie chuckled a bit. "No, I don't think so? This is my first day here. Like... ever. So I'm not really surprised you haven't seen me before. I just transferred over."
Miles practically sighed in relief and nodded, hands in his pockets. "Right! Right, very cool. Welcome to Visions then, I guess. Uh... I'm Miles! Miles Morales. Nice to meet ya!"
He goofily stuck a hand out, which Hobie actually accepted. They shook hands for a second, and then Miles was suddenly taken aback by how cold his hand was against his own skin. It was a definite contrast to the warm and lanky body he remembered practically draped across his own, back in Mumbattan.
He forced those particular memories away for now.
This Hobie was smiling down at him, sad eyes set inside a seemingly genuine expression of fondness. "Cool. I'm Hobie. But, uh, it seems like you already knew that, so."
"Aha, yeah yeah! It just-- honestly it's just the shock of, uh, running into a major celeb in the middle of my school that really got to me, I think. Sorry. I probably look like a total weirdo right now!"
Hobie shook his head, and Miles took the opportunity to really study this guy now that the shock was over and the vibe was more chill. This Hobie was just as long and lanky as the punk anarchist Miles was already well acquainted with, but he held himself completely differently. Where Spider-Hobie was all confident strut and careless swagger, this Hobie seemed to be all reserved grace and... sadness? He definitely reminded Miles of a willow tree drooping down into a lake, beautiful but tragic at the same time.
Okay Miles, get it together, he thought, stop thinking this guy is beautiful. I mean, he is beautiful yeah... but c'mon man, focus!
Hobie's non-pierced lips were moving now, finishing a sentence that Miles most definitely did not catch.
Then, Hobie looked at him expectantly.
Oh shit. He just asked a question didn't he? Fuck.
"Uh, sorry... one more time?" Miles grinned as wide as he could, apologetic. Nice going, Morales, the humorless voice in his head chimed in. Definitely not convincing this guy you're an alien from outer space or anything!
Hobie huffed a laugh and cleared his throat. "Sorry, my fault. Sometimes I mumble and... yeah. Mom says I need to work on that," he sighed, then continued, "I was just wondering if you knew where room 301 was?"
Miles nearly jumped with the force of the realization that just hit him.
"301? Mr. Moriarty's class?"
"Y-yeah, that's the one," Hobie smiled, twirling a loc on one finger and tugging it a bit. Then he tucked it back behind his ear. "I'm actually so lost it's not even funny, I'm godawful at directions and like, navigating. I've been looking for it for like 20 minutes now--"
"That's where my first class is too! AP chem!"
Hobie seemed to brighten up a bit at that, straightening his posture up from his own self-conscious hunch. "Oh cool! We should probably get going then, if we don't wanna be more late than we already are."
Without thinking, Miles places a hand on Hobie's shoulder and steers them both towards a classroom right at the end of the hallway they were in.
"Of course, right this way! Pretty lucky you ran into me, huh? I can help you find your other classes later on if you want, too."
For the first time since nearly crashing into him, Miles looked up at Hobie and saw genuine happiness in his eyes as they grinned at each other and walked down the hall together.
"...Yeah," Hobie said, nodding slowly. "Yeah that'd be pretty cool. Thanks!"
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Their chemistry teacher ended up not being a total hardass after all! Especially when Miles rolled up with none other than Famous Model Hobie in tow, immediately causing a ripple of whispers amongst the students sat at their desks.
Mr. Moriarty was a short and stumpy old man with a kind face and a severely receding hairline. He took one look at Hobie after squinting at his attendance sheet, accepted Miles' quick explanation that they were late because Hobie's minty fresh enrollment got him all lost in these maze-like hallways, and excused their tardiness with a wave of a hand.
"It's the first day and you were very kind to help a new student out, Mr. Morales. You're both excused for today, but try not to make a habit of it, alright?"
Miles bobbed his head as he picked his way past rows of desks. "Absolutely, sir. No problem at all. Thanks a bunch!"
Hobie stuck close to him, and smiled a bit as the only two desks left empty in the whole room happened to be right next to each other, right up in the back of the class. Nice.
They took their seats and exchanged a couple of glances as they pulled out their notebooks, barely listening to their professor's quick introduction and class syllabus. Well, Miles was barely listening, anyways. He was too caught up in the euphoria of running into a dimensional variant of one of his friends, in Visions Academy no less! His mind started to wander a bit. Did a 1610 Gwen exist too? a 1610 Pavitr? Were they also here at Visions? And what was with these random stares he and Hobie were getting from their fellow classmates right now?
Every now and then a student's head would swivel back to glance in their direction, awestruck looks evident on their faces.
How famous was Hobie anyway?
Of course, there was that giant billboard conveniently placed within view of the school's back hallways near a busy intersection, but Miles really started to think. He sneakily pulled out his phone and swiped down to the lowest brightness he could in case the classroom's fluorescent lighting wasn't enough to hide the phone screen's own light.
He kept his face straight forward, eyes flicking to and from his typing that he was trying to conceal behind the student sitting in front of him. He typed Hobie Brown model, Hobie Brown perfume ad, Hobie Brown supermodel, getting absolutely nothing every single time. Well, nothing that looked like the Hobie Brown sitting next to him, who happened to be dutifully scribbling down some notes in his notebook. Miles looked down at his own empty sheet of paper and quickly copied his new friend, whipping out a pencil and hurrying to catch up with the lecture on the whiteboard before the professor moved on.
Groan. What gives? Was Hobie this super accomplished, totally famous supermodel or not? Maybe he wasn't on social media, oddly enough. Maybe he just started an illustrious career and happened to be famous only in Brooklyn right now? No, that didn't make sense. If he was some small-time influencer or whatever, people would not be asking for autographs so often that Hobie would just automatically assume anyone who recognized him wanted one. And the looks on these other kids' faces convinced Miles that... maybe something was missing. Maybe he's just not searching up the right terms?
Agh, if only Spiderman business didn't keep him totally detached from reality sometimes. He really felt like he and the rest of the world were on totally different planets. If he had any friends besides Ganke, he probably would've heard about Hobie by now.
He bit his lip in concentration, trying to multitask between forming theories and keeping up with the lesson in the front of the classroom.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pair of eyes staring straight at him that didn't belong to the other classmates he barely even knew. He glanced over at Hobie, who quickly looked away.
Was that... an embarrassed look on his face just now? Miles scratched at his jaw a bit, more confused than before.
That was weird. Whatever. Anyways...
Before long, class was over and the bell rang. Miles and Hobie both meandered slowly up to the door and hung around the outside, leaning against the wall as they compared schedules before they had to make their way to their next class.
"Dang," Miles lamented, clutching his own schedule and moving to slot it into the cover of his binder. "Looks like we don't share any more classes besides 1st period..."
Hobie stopped his hand and squinted at the sheet again, glancing back at his own. "Uhmm... nah, actually. I think we might have 6th period together? Right after lunch."
"Do we share a lunch period too, actually?" Miles asked excitedly.
Hobie made a small noise of triumph, a smile playing over his lips. "Yeah! 1st, lunch and then 6th. Okay. Better than nothing, right?"
Miles chuckled, shoving his schedule into the plastic and tucking it under his arm. "Definitely. We can eat together at the cafeteria if you want! I'll walk you to your next class though, since it's basically right around the corner."
Hobie shrugged his own backpack back onto his shoulder and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. His eyes were cast downwards as he grinned at the floor and said, "yeah, if you don't mind... that'd be pretty cool."
This guy sure does like the word cool, Miles thought, and away to Hobie's next class they both went. They both ignored the various whispers and stares in their direction. Miles was already used to it by now.
They walked together amiably, in near lockstep for a little while before Hobie finally spoke up again.
"... So... if you don't mind me asking... why are you so nice to me if you didn't know I was famous, then?"
It was an innocent enough question, but it kinda caught Miles off guard nonetheless.
He laughed nervously. "Uhh ahaha, whaddya mean? I did know you were famous! I just... y'know my brain doesn't work the best real early in the morning. I'm, uh. Sometimes I can be pretty weird, if you haven't noticed by now."
Hobie nodded slowly, digesting this information for a bit. "Yeah, you did recognize me in the first place, I guess. It's just weird, you're like... the first person I met that doesn't look at me like I'm made out of solid gold, though. That's all..."
They exchanged glances again, and Miles' brain was working into overdrive, thinking of an appropriate response.
Before he could open his mouth, they finally reached their destination and Hobie bumped Miles' shoulder with his arm, smiling.
"So, thanks. For, uh... this. All this."
Miles raised a brow at him. "Oh yeah, this is nothing. I just walked you over to your next class, no biggie. My class is right over here anyways, so--"
Hobie laughed and shook his head, the expression lighting up his facial features unlike anything Miles has seen on that face yet.
"No, Miles. Not just this. I mean, like..." Hobie dipped his head, a bashful sort of move. "I mean, like, being nice to me. Like forreal. I really appreciate this."
They looked at each other for a moment, something real warm growing in Miles' chest all of a sudden, something... familiar.
He was just about to casually brush the gratitude off a second time with a dorky quip, before some girl's screechy voice interrupted their private little moment out of nowhere. It honestly startled them both, and the nice warm atmosphere dissipated immediately.
"Oh. My. GOD!! Is that Hobie Jones? Like actually?!"
She giggled and bounded up to them, blatantly ignoring Miles to insert herself between them and crowd into Hobie's space. She coquettishly asked for a selfie with him, promising to tag him on social media. The sudden commotion unfortunately attracted some other students who then took their cue to also bother Hobie for autographs, selfies, throwing compliments left and right.
Miles backed up out of the crowd, eyes still on Hobie as he watched the poor guy metaphorically slip on a mask, the very same that Miles saw when they first met not 2 hours ago. It was a sad, detached sort of look, and Hobie was forced to hunch in on himself to meet his fellow students' heights as they snapped selfie after selfie. His lips formed a smile all the while. His eyes did not.
A pang of sympathy hit Miles as he slowly turned away and made his way down to his own classroom without so much as a goodbye. He shrugged to himself, shaking his head. Yeah, he knew how that felt, just trying to mind your own business and live your life, do what you have to do-- and being stopped by nearly every living being within a 50 ft radius wanting their photo ops and their babies kissed.
Miles smiled to himself as he shouldered his way past other students and sauntered into his class, right on time. The bell rang as he reached his desk, and he pulled out another notebook out of his bag before the realization finally hit him with the force of a truck.
Wait... Hobie JONES?!
Miles quickly glanced around at his surroundings and mentally kicked himself yet again for choosing a seat so close to the teacher's desk, almost right up at the front. Damnit!
But the teacher wasn't in the classroom just yet, most likely making a quick run down to the printer down the hall to make copies of the class syllabus or something.
Okay, Morales. Gotta be quick.
He hastily pulled out his phone yet again, one eye on the door. He quickly typed in Hobie Jones model in his browser's search box, letting out a breath as search results loaded up and gave him exactly what he was looking for this entire time.
Bingo.
Hobie's face popped up in the image search previews, all sorts of cool and striking photoshoots lit up in all kinds of different ways. And the very first link at the top of the page? Hobie's own Flickstagram.
With a shaky hand, Miles tapped the link and impatiently waited for it to load, for his phone to get with the program and just open the damn app already. He kept glancing every so often at the door yet again, praying that the printer or copier-- or whatever-the-hell that was keeping the professor away from the class-- would keep them away for just a second longer.
He finally cast his gaze back down onto his own Flickstagram app and his heart nearly dropped out of his chest.
At the top, right next to Hobie's own smoldering profile picture was his username: hobiemjones
hobiemjones... hobie m jones. Hobie M. Jones.
M.J.
Miles exhaled again and tucked his phone away in shock just as the classroom door opened yet again and all the students quieted down. This class's teacher made their way over to their desk, piles of papers in hand. They started to pass them out to the students in the front row, introducing themself and then going over the usual attendance policies.
Miles accepted the syllabus sheets with trembling hands, turning to pass them over his shoulder once he got his own, his mind running a hundred miles a minute.
Peter talked nonstop about his wife, whenever he managed to stop talking about his baby, that is. It was always MJ this, MJ that. Flashes of a middle-aged man staring forlornly at a picture of his then-ex wife-- grieving the one who got away-- raced across his mind's eye. His universe's own MJ standing at a podium, strong but deeply hurt as she addressed all of Brooklyn after Spiderman's funeral.
"She wanted kids and I... just wasn't ready," echoed over and over in Miles' mind. Of course, they're together now. But the way Peter talked about his divorce... oh god.
Wait... was Miles ready for kids? Were he and Hobie going to have a messy on-and-off again relationship that ended up with them having to care for a spider-baby just like Mayday?! Maybe even multiple spider-babies?!?!?
Miles loosened his tie a bit, sweating profusely.
The fact that neither Hobie nor Miles were equipped with the parts to make a baby together flew right over his head. No... instead, his mind skipped straight to marriage, messy emotional fights and inevitable breakups. How was he gonna juggle school, work, Spiderman stuff and a relationship all at once?!
Without realizing, Miles started hyperventilating.
No no no no no, cool it Miles. COOL IT. Don't be weird. Miles mentally slapped himself and tried to even out his breathing as he leaned back in his seat and wiped some sweat off his brow.
He just proved to Miguel O' Hara and the entire multiverse this past spring that he can do his own thing, canon events be damned. Miles Morales was no victim to fate. Maybe all of the other spider-people had their own MJs. But maybe in this universe, MJ and Spiderman were... just friends. Good friends! ...Yeah, yeah, just friends...
The idea floated around in Miles' head throughout the entire rest of the class, but it didn't really make the tightness in his chest loosen up any at all.
Once the bell rang again and everyone started packing their things up, Miles dawdled a bit by the door, fumbling with his phone as his classmates filed out of the room. If he was late enough, maybe he'd completely miss Hobie in the hallways and not have to see him at all. Miles double-checked, triple-checked his schedule again and again, mapping out an eventual escape route through the halls in case Hobie's path did intercept Miles'.
God, Miles thought ruefully, checking the hour on his phone for the 15th time in a row and smiling awkwardly at his teacher's questioning glance. You're being so fucking weird about this right now!
The rational part of his brain kicked in and presented a quick slideshow of other calmer, more reasonable explanations as to why he really shouldn't be avoiding his new friend like the plague all of a sudden.
1. Hobie probably doesn't and won't like me, it stated. There is literally no proof that Hobie Jones is even into guys. Or me, Miles Morales.
2. Even if Hobie Jones is into guys-- or me, Miles Morales-- that does not mean the endgame is automatically marriage. No sir, no proof of that at all!
3. Canon events were officially disproven. Kinda. Mostly. Sort of?
C'mon, bro. Just man up and get out there. You're gonna be late for the next class soon anyways.
Right. He inhaled deeply and steeled himself.
"Okay well, uh. Have a nice day Mx. Gonzalez! See ya... tomorrow." Miles cringed inwardly at how lame that sounded, but his teacher didn't seem to notice as they bid him a nice day as well.
With his heart in his stomach, Miles slowly made his way into the hallway and started walking at a brisk pace, keeping his eyeline straight in front of him, trying to reach his next class on the floor below quickly but manageably. It was when he reached the stairs that his heart sank even lower.
Hobie was standing right next to the stairwell, glaring at the school map placed on the wall off to the left, fingertips on his chin as he mumbled to himself. He was glancing up and down between the map and his schedule in his hand, clearly befuddled.
Damn, he really is bad at navigating, Miles mused, once he recovered.
But as luck would have it, tragedy struck right then. Miles being pretty much the only other kid in the hallway attracted Hobie's attention, and even though Miles' feet kept him moving, he almost tripped on air once Hobie perked up upon seeing him.
"Miles!" Hobie grinned and waved him over, clearly happy to see him.
Oh noooo. Miles was not as happy to see him.
Without thinking, he launched himself down the flight of stairs, hopping over the railing and landing loudly on the 1st floor. Once steady, he basically sprinted over to his 3rd period class, completely missing the way Hobie's sunny grin slowly disappeared and his hand lowered back down to his side.
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Lunchtime came and went. Miles ate his packed lunch at his usual perch on top of the school building, where he always hid while trying to avoid the rest of the student body. He managed to pick a good spot away from prying eyes, and it never failed him.
Hobie ate alone, at a table tucked into the corner of the cafeteria despite being invited to several other tables. He sat and chewed sadly, locs back in front of his eyes, posture hunched over and defeated.
6th period came and went. Miles purposefully kept his gaze averted as Hobie walked in 5 minutes late. They sat at opposite ends of the room, never acknowledging each other's existence.
The school day ended and Miles made his way back to the dorms, sighing with relief once he glanced out the window and saw giant rainclouds rolling in over the horizon. Man, was he glad he got to bunk up on campus with his best friend! He greeted Ganke, kicked off his shoes and climbed up onto his bunkbed, laying back with a sigh. Maybe tomorrow he'd confront Hobie about his erratic behavior and apologize. Maybe.
But that was a problem for future Miles...
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Outside, the rain started falling fast and hard.
Outside, Hobie M. Jones waited miserably by the curb with an umbrella in hand, getting drenched by the water nonetheless. He checked his phone for the 15th time and sniffled angrily, pocketing it and gripping onto his umbrella handle.
Late. Again.
His mother was late to pick him up, as usual.
He swiped at a tear rolling down his cheek and finally loosened his ponytail, letting his locs fall all around his face.
Once she arrived, his mother was going to inevitably ask him how his day was, look only slightly concerned about his angry tears and ask if he made any new friends anyways, despite knowing the answer.
No, mom, Hobie would say as he kept his eyes glued to the car window.
No. I didn't make any friends.
#spiderverse#clown horn#miles morales#hobie brown#heeyyyyyyy... im back. again :) with some angst this tiiimmee ahaha#hope yall dont hate me for this lil meet-cute turning out the way it did 😅#it just.... turned into angst i guess#we all know peter parker and mj are always a tragedy before a theyre a romance yanno what i mean?#soooo yup. miles is no different tbqh#do they end up together tho? WHO KNOWS!!!#maybe they do get together and have their lil spider babies in the end! LOL#also yeah i know mj already exists in 1610#but lets uhhhhh pretend that EVERY spiderman has an mj. just like they have a gwen! ahaha#or maybe............ hobie jones isnt even an mj after all!! *foreboding music*#YOU decide!#anyways yeah... hope yall liked this one too LMFAO#i'm really in my fic writing era now jfc#who knows what i'll show up with next time?!?! :)#thx 4 reading as always ♡#punkflower#← i hesitate to tag this bc its technically not PUNKflower yanno what i mean#buttttt well. adding it in there anyways. hope yall dont mind
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OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why
the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.
ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.
The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.
People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.
he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences
#anyone who isnt a qbbh makn please extend some sympathy for us. our guy is being misunderstood again#so if people seem twitchier than usual that probbaly plays a factor#but if it ever gets annoying be rest assured he is doing his very best to train us in media literacy#and also the block and filter buttons are your friends#and qbbh mains join me in the genuinely freeing revelation that they have just. strawmanned him yet again#i feel like youve gotta be able to understand a character to truly hate them#and no one (not even us oh my fucking god) really understand him#and thus the vitrol means nothing and i am free of all woes#anyway tho genuinely if you want to know more about this cube im willing to talk about him#i have Credentials#one of my posts was dono’d to the cc almost word for word and he called me a know it all#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#discourse#<- mentioned#an interestinf discussion could be had too about xyz character Deserving xyz thing#and really people in general Deserving xyz thing#but i think that is a wasp nest i dont know enough about to join swatting#i ngeed. to go to bed
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