#even tho i never tried it my friends say it good and i guess yeah its okay

[floral-hex]

Constantly regretting not joining a local Cyberpunk Red game when I had the chance.

[theonpilled]

finding fragrances is hell

[whenlilyfallsinlove]

jolene

james potter x reader

this is not a good fic for james.. (love him tho) and my remus bias is SHOWING. i love lily. no lily hate.

jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene i'm begging of you please don't take my man jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene please don't take him just because you can

a small part of you knew that, although you were the one dating james potter, lily evans still held a place in his heart. i mean it was sad right? someone you were in love with, someone you were dating, was in love with someone else. but for some reason you had grown accustomed to it, was this stupid of you? yes, maybe. but you didn't want to lose james, as both a boyfriend and a friend. so it felt like a logical thing.

you knew lily evans didn't like james either, not even as a friend. she hated the boy. you thought back to the gossip you had had with her, marlene and dorcas when they found out you were dating him.

"merlin y/n, james?" lily had whispered-shouted the very night she found out that you were dating him.

"hey.. he's not that bad." you chuckle.

"that's not gonna convince her, it's a well known fact lils hates james." marlene laughs.

"that's true." you respond.

"and i thought you liked remus anyway." lily teases.

"that was in like 3rd year, i've been over that ages." you feel your face heat. sure you had liked moony once, but you had liked james for a while now.

"he's better than james though, seriously you can do better y/n." lily tells you.

you giggle, but then see dorcas with a confused look on her face.

"you alright dorcas?" marlene raises an eyebrow.

"yeah i just.. i have a question." dorcas speaks up.

you nod at her to speak.

"when did james get over lily? i'm not saying he doesn't like you of course y/n, but up until the other week, he was obsessed with her." dorcas thinks aloud, in all fairness, asking the question on everyones lips.

you sigh.

"i asked him that, he told me he was trying to deflect the fact that he really liked me, and he was too nervous to flirt with me so flirted with lily instead to hide his true feelings." you mutter, now realising that james' reasoning was.. maybe not the best.

"aww thats cute y/n.." marlene sees the look on your face and tries to comfort you.

"yeah." you smile, weakly.

"and don't worry y/n, i would never go anywhere near potter. and i think he does like you and not me." lily reassures you.

noticing your discomfort, the girls changed the subject, but you couldn't nudge the feeling of doubt in your chest. now that you thought about it, james' reasoning felt a bit.. excuse like? but no, he asked you out, not lily. so he must like you?! relationships were complicating; you guessed you'd have to wait to see how things played out.

your beauty is beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

"hello gorgeous." james grins at you cheekily, planting a kiss on your cheek as you take a seat next to him at the gryffindor table.

"guys do we really need to be doing this at eight o'clock in the morning." sirius fake gags. you stick your tongue out at him in response, causing him to laugh.

"just cos you're lonely padfoot." james chuckles.

sirius playfully rolls his eyes at him, and you see remus looking at you from the other side of the table. you smile at him which he returns but looks away quickly, feeling like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't.

james wraps an arm around your waist, and starts telling you whatever new prank him and sirius were planning on snape.

"and then we were planning to turn his hair green." he smiles at you.

"poor snape." you tease.

"what? you planning on leaving me for snivellus?" james raises an eyebrow, playfully.

"of course." you respond chuckling.

your playful banter was interrupted by lily approaching you, carrying your transfiguration book. of course, you invited her to sit with yourself and the marauders but she didn't like to be near james for long periods of time.

"y/n, you left this in our dorm this morning." she smiles at you and hands you the book.

you smile back. she looked extra pretty today, her green eyes sparkling, her auburn hair shiny. it made you feel a little self-conscious.

"thanks lils, what would i do without you?" you laugh.

"you wouldn't be able to cope, that's for sure." lily smiles at you, giving you a wave, heading back to her own seaat.

"thank godric for that, mcgonagall would've been fuming-" you turn back to james, your words faltering seeing his face.

his face was bright red and he looked distracted as he gazed off into the distance. you followed his gaze to see what was wrong with him. then you realised. james was looking at lily. and he had a stupid goofy smile on his face. what a prick! he was YOUR boyfriend.

"james, are you okay?" you snap him out of his daze.

"yeah yeah, perfectly fine love." he turns back to you, his blush fading.

then it was as if everything was back to normal. sirius, james and peter engaging back into their normal conversation. you were quieter however. remus remained quiet as well, noticing the dejected look on your face. he gave you a comforting smile across the table and you gave him a weak one in return.

at that moment, you wished nothing more to be lily evans.

your smile is like a breath of spring your voice is soft like summer rain and i cannot compete with you jolene.

"i don't want to feel like a second choice to you james! i love you." you sighed. this was yours and james's first argument. and you HATED it.

"i love you too y/n, of course you're not my second choice!" james tries to comfort you.

"i just feel like you're just settling for me because lily doesn't like you!" you admitted.

"well that's not true y/n, i told you.. i was using lily to coverup my feelings for you." james lets out a exasperated sigh.

"sometimes it doesn't feel that way james, i don't want to be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her (iykyk)" you rub your forehead with your hand.

"y/n.." james puts his arm around you. "it's you i'm dating.. not evans. don't be jealous!"

you scoff. "of course i'm jealous, she's beautiful and you were obsessed with her long before dating me."

"and i'm not anymore. just drop it y/n. i love you not her." james frowns.

you sigh and cave in.

"i don't like arguing with you james." you say, as you rest your head on his shoulder.

"i don't like arguing with you either y/n" he sighs, and pulls you closer.

you couldn't stop thinking about lily though. you were friends with her, and she would never intentionally hurt you. you knew deep down james still liked her, feelings don't go away that easy.

he talks about you in his sleep and there's nothing i can do to keep from crying when he calls your name jolene

gryffindor house were infamous for throwing the best parties. and tonight was living proof. gryffindor had just won a quidditch match against slytherin which of course meant a big celebration. and of course, your boyfriend and captain of the team james potter was the main centre of attention.

"he's nuts." you shake your head at sirius, when you see james dancing and obnoxiously singing to dancing queen by abba in the middle of the common room.

"he's bloody brilliant." sirius takes a sip of firewhiskey, chuckling.

the man in question headed towards you.

"y/n, would you care to join me." he jokingly bows down, holding his hand out for you to take.

"indeed i would." you giggle and take his hand.

he pulls you to the middle of the common room, twirling you around/ you laugh and join in singing and dancing. you could tell he was a little drunk but you didn't mind.

as the party went on, you had somehow lost contact with james. he was a social butterfly of course, probably talking to his friends. you yourself were stood with marlene, dorcas and lily, sipping your drinks, giggling at the antics of some of your housemates.

the party eventually thinned out, at about 3 in the morning, when mcgonagall told them to quiet down. eventually it was just you and as you looked towards the jukebox (which was playing jolene by dolly parton) remus carrying a half unconscious james.

you walked up to the two.

"he's drunk too much." remus chuckles.

"unsurprising, i'm sure he had already had about 4 firewhiskeys in the first hours." you smile affectionately at james.

remus notices your smile, and smiles wider.

"you don't usually come to parties, do you remus?" your question catches remus off guard.

"n-no i don't. just wanted to support my friends." he responds, knowing that was probably a good answer judging by the smile on your face.

you turn back to look at james.

"let's get you to bed ay?" you say, trying to wake him.

"l-lily?" james whispers, seemingly in his sleep.

your heart dropped. of course he was dreaming about lily.

"i'm not lily." you grit your teeth. "would you rather have her take care of you?"

remus sees your face and is quick to comfort you.

"don't worry y/n, he's drunk, he probably doesn't know any better." he says.

you nod and sit down on one of the armchairs.

how could you ever compete with lily evans?

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hi, friend! Could I request Solomon, Lucifer, Mammon, and Simeon with a reader who likes lights? Reader would collect lights (like lamps, nightlights, etc) and decorate their room with them.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hi love!! Of course you can! Also so sorry for this being so short but yeah- I didn't wanted to force anything -w- Hope you like it anyway!!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Lucifer honestly sees it as passion like any other

✧ he thinks it's nice that you got something you like and isn't too... troublesome with it... untill bill for electricity comes in lol

✧ he knows how much you like it and won't stop you from putting it around house if you'd really want to... but he'll warn you that Asmo will definitely pay attention to that and may complain about it if you "choose wrong design or place"

✧ he also tries convincing you to keep the lights off at least at night... or not I'm broad daylight if there's even one in hell

✧ if you fall asleep with lights on and wake up with them off, you can immideitly be sure it was Lucifer. But he meant nothing bad by doing it!

✧ he does his best to support you so if you ever decide to go for some light shopping, he'll sometimes come with you and share his opinion if you ask about it

"Sure, take it. Hm? What do I think about it? It's... a bit too complex for my taste... but I can see it fitting into your room perfectly."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@wabatle - come get your scary brother!

✧ once Mammon discovered your unique liking, he first called you a weird human

✧ and then the next day he bought you some lights as a gift

✧ he just has to be a tsundere about it... If you ask him why he got you that gift, he'll just say it's so you won't be whining to him later

"It's just for your weird human obsession! I was simply done with you whining about how much you want it! ... Do you like it tho?"

✧ all you have to do is to mention him what lights you're obsessing on in the moment and first thing he'll do once you part is go buy you them

✧ and if he can't he'll just go to casino to win some money so that he could afford it... which... has 50/50 chance of succeeding...

✧ though if you keep your lights on while sleeping, even some, he'll be grumpy about it and be stubborn to turn them off for the time of sleeping

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Solomon probably had something similar but only as a phase...

✧ he's human as well so he totally gets from where you're coming from!

✧ honestly, he's actually quite fond of how much lights you stole and finds your room really cozy

✧ at some point, he most likely asked you to help him pick some lights for his room too and didn't had the heart to decline any ideas you seemed so passionate about so he ended up buying whole store

✧ he doesn't really care if you keep lights on or off during the night... as long as he has a way of facing the opposite way than the light, he doesn't mind letting it stay if it helps you sleep

✧ definitely tried making some flying light orb or so, thinking you may like it!

"Hey, I made something for you. What do you think? Is there anything you want added to it?"

✧ overally, he's very supportive and will protect your hobby as best as he can if anyone tries insulting it

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Simeon is honestly very supportive of any hobby you may have that isn't dangerous to you or anyone for that matter

✧ he's just happy you have a passion, even if it's something simple as collecting lights!

✧ he'll most likely go to all or most of your shopping's just because he loves to see what's the lights you like or want

"Oh? This one? I would've never guessed it's in your taste... But it's good to know! It certainly has its own beauty~"

✧ he'll also try buying or even making a light for you! It doesn't have to be any ocassion... but if it is, he'll probably try extra hard to make it a good one

✧ though if he's making the gift... he'll probably as someone for help since he's afraid of messing something up and would rather have someone who knows more about it than him to watch over what he's doing

✧ he also doesn't really care if you keep the lights on or off at night! His realm is rather bright so he'll fall asleep anyway~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl - come get your soft angel~

[colliope]

How date-able are twst boys? ♡

inspired by @sunsguilt

Features all chars, and gets pretty suggestive btw. Otherwise mostly crack +fluff

a/n: my first writing! I hope u enjoy :) if not then go die i guess

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋ ♡Heartslabyul ♡

Riddle Rosehearts - I don't ljke him. If we're talking pre-overblot he'd banish you to that headlock thing with his unique magic if you ever tried to ask him out or flirt with him. Post-overblot hed be really shy in getting into a relationship but wants to be cared for and protected. But he's not standing up for u in front of his mom tho you'll have to deal with her urself

6/10 he’s a sweet boy, just too bossy and not assertive enough to his mom. Divorceablity is quite high with this one.

Cater Diamonds - low-key relatable to me. BUT. His slang gets annoying after a while. His constant posting without peoples permission is weird too. Picture this. He's meeting your family for the first time, and you sit to have dinner. Cater takes a pic of you guys and posts it with the caption "With bae their fam, I'm a bit nervous guys wish me luck!🥺"#girldad #boymom #saveme Your family assumed it's his humor. WRONG. It's his way of coping with his uncomfortability. When it's silent during dinner he says" OH EM GEE GIRLYPOPS!!!, this food is so SLAY💅!! Tysm bestiessss" Your family gives him the nastiest side eye. He never speaks again. 

7/10 he seems to be a pretty sweet and understanding person, just needs better ways to express himself . Also he calls your mother queenie.

Trey Clover - he’s an interesting guy. You'll typically see him as an npc, but he's much more than that. Have you seen his *tips fedora * "m'lady" stare?? Yeah there's definitely something strange going on there. He's a pretty family oriented guy tho, and he loves to bake for his s/o and to provide comfort and care.

8/10 he's probably one of the more normal ones that I would actually date. Or be friends with. Just keep one eye open when your sleeping with ur with him tho

Ace Trappola- I don't understand how someone could even like him. He's the kinda kid to push you off the swing during recess and when you tell the teacher he'll go like "NUH UH!! THEY HIT ME FIRST!!" . Plus he's canonically not a good partner lmaoooo

3/10 he’s not even a middle schooler. Too pebble brained. Don't date a gremlin like him. maybe if he finds someone like him he might maintain a steady relationship.

Deuce Spades- no thoughts head empty. He needs a little direction in life but he's got a goal in mind. He's a lil stupid but he's getting there. He's such so sweet and silly you have to love him. But he needs to mature a bit before entering a long term relationship 

6/10 not my type, I would go for his mom instead. Plus his dad is literally dr.eggman, that explains everything. but yeah he's got what It takes, be kind to him. He's fragile. Like an egg.

ᓚᘏᗢ Savannaclaw ᓚᘏᗢ  

Leona Kingscholar - girl he is 21 years old he should be in the CLUB!!!!! But no. He's sitting alone eating Kentucky fried chicken alone on a Friday night. If he really wanted someone, he could go for it, but he seriously can't be bothered. If you do manage to get him attached to you it'll take him a while to fully love you as much as you love him, as well as put in the same amount of effort .

7/10- I don't think he genuinely needs a partner. He's got his own issues to sort out. But when he falls, he falls hard. I wonder how hard his abs are.

Ruggie Bucchi - Rugbartholomew !!!! The scrunkly. The scrimp. It'll be so fun horsing around with this guy. Being his s/o is like being his partner in crime. It'll be fun, and you guys support each other . He really cares abt his loved ones and always tries to bring something to the table for them, literally and metaphorically. Midnight runs to seven eleven. He's working 10 jobs at a time. He's EMPLOYED. He's a boyemployee. He just needs his girlboss to complete him.

5/10 he's a bit scummy tbh. It'll take him a while to fully trust someone. He’d do some sleazy things for money. It also gives you the ick when he smells donuts and starts floating towards them.

Jack Howl- he's surprisingly normal. He's got a set sleep schedule , he's healthy, he has set routines, and healthy coping mechanisms. But that's the thing. as much as he is such a caring and gentle lover, these routines take up most of his life and time. He would be waking you up at ungodly hours for a morning jog only for you to pass out midway to Mount Kilimanjaro. .

7/10 -he dates for marriage, and he’s really serious about his future and starting a family. So he’s such a loyal and protective guy. He's just too much of a gym bro. He prefers pre-workout over partners. Also he unironically likes alpha/werewolf quotes.

𓆝𓆟𓆜 Octivinelle 𓆝𓆟𓆜

Azul Ashengrotto- I love him so much. He's so me guys you don't get it (capitalism) but that aside, HES SO DAMN WEIRD LMAOOOOOO like he thinks he has rizz but he just looks like a Reddit 'nice guy'. Legitimately says m'lady. He gives off the fake dating trope to me. He'd date you to get something out of you but then actually fall hard bc he's touch starved and longs to feel emotionally vulnerable but is afraid of it. So he's an absolute mess in a relationship and needs a lot of reassurance. But yeah he's pretty bitchless 

7/10 he's gorgeous, but he sounds like that one pufferfish singing thing. I relate to him a lot so he gets points. Also since his parents are divorced he definitely has a high divorceability. I have a theory in the works that since we don't know who his biological father is, it might just be Mr. Krabbs. Like it's never said he's a full octopus (to my knowledge). SpongeBob and squidward are Floyd and Jade respectively. SpongeBob X twisted wonderland when?

Floyd Leech- he drank battery acid as a baby. Like dude you're in love with a nuclear fission bomb. If you like Floyd, you're just as fucked up as he is. It's okay tho, he's a very physically affectionate guy and may be overly possessive and obsessive but that's just his charm dw abt it. He also does thing like "if you hug me, expect a little nibbling on your earlobe 😝" and he bites off your entire ear.

2/10 his kisses taste like fish and sheet metal, and he licks short peoples heads when no one's looking. 

Jade Leech- if you saw him eat mushrooms well no you didn't because if he eated mushrooms then he would have not eating mushroom bc no . His version of love is psychological warfare . He’s a mysterious guy. Let's set a scenario for him. You're sitting in the monstro lounge. You see a tall, dark and handsome man across the bar with a mysterious aura. You catch his gaze and quickly dart your eyes away. But his never stop staring at you. He comes up to you and you guys chat naturally . He buys you a drink, your favorite actually. He knows all the ways to make you swoon. He’s so dreamy. Then he says that he put cyanide in your drink as joke. Then he lets it slip he's been stalking you for days. You find out his a wanted criminal. And end scene. Yeah that's romance with him. 

4/10 he's an attentive and observant guy, but sadly that's way before you guys are dating and he's a psych ward escapee.

𓄼𖣠 Scarabia 𖣠𓄹

Kalim Al-Asim - OTTERRRR!!! I love otters. He’s like deuce. But rich. And more innocent(ignorant). He’s so head over heels for his s/o bro. He’d shower them with his love and gifts. He still has a lot to learn in life, but he's willing to give it all to you. You should be honored.

6/10 he's my son. Treat him well. I can’t forgive him for what he did to Jamil tho. 

Jamil Viper- AWWHH YEAH BABY!!! He’s so Fine oml. But personal bias aside, he's very much insane. He’s just a closeted insane.pre-overblot he wouldn't even date u bro he would pretend u don't exist but then hate u being around Kalim. Post-overblot he accidentally avoids you because he has no idea how to express or hide his feelings for you. Okay but definitely has w rizz. Azul seethes at the sight him. Like chewing up his fedora and spitting it out type shit. Men wish they were Jamil. 

8/10 he's so wifey, he can cook he can clean  I will give him a ring if u don't. Minus points for the attempted murder, but still he's pwetty so I forgive him (*^ω^*) . He probably once got hit in the head with a basketball with you looking.

⊹𖥔˖࣪ Pomefiore⊹𖥔˖࣪ 

Vil Schoenheit - okay this one's hard cus he's literally just my mother. But more fierce diva cunty. I've been sleeping on his character ngl, but now that I think about it he's pretty relatable. Like everyone wishes to be beautiful, in some sort of way. I think in a relationship he'll need some reassurance about his looks, but also about it his partner only wants him for his looks. I don't think he actually has high standards, he would probably want someone pretty normal, but also takes good care of themselves, not just appearance-wise.

8/10 he's pretty good as an s/o, but the fame aspect will make things very difficult. Also expect him to be brutally honest with you or pick apart your appearance. He's just trying make sure u look ur best bro he's caring like that. Would make an excellent rupauls drag race judge.

Rook Hunt - I have sent a nuke to your exact coordinates. Why would u want him bro he’s Fr*nch AND a felon. There's no good aspects of this relationship he has negative rizz and his fucking bob makes him look like SpongeBob took the gay potion from the dark web at 3 am. also, he's already mentally married you and has your wedding dress prepared as well as a loan taken out for your new family home before you even know his name. 

0/10 Mr Electric KILL HIM!!! Probably the kinda guy to post a selfie captioned "who want me" and then before epel can reply "the mental hospital " his post gets taken down due to mass reporting and his account gets suspended and he's put on an fbi watchlist.

Epel Felmier- ngl mood bro. It's so annoying being seen as fragile and weak simply for your inherent femininity.I believe in a relationship he'd want someone that tells him what he wants to hear. He'll have some trouble accepting some facts, especially with his anger issues, but he'll learn to sort that out. He's a sweet boy at heart. He just feels he needs to overcompensate due to his appearance.

6/10 I'm not an anger issues kinda guy. It takes resilience to deal with, something i don't have for that. He probs listens to red pill podcasts while on a tractor. He's a 14 year old boy who just discovered Andrew Tate (he's deathly afraid of women)

꒷꒦꒷Ignihyde꒷꒦꒷

Idia Shroud- no. I have no idea how you could have feelings for him if you've never seen him. And definitely not online bc 1. He would never engage in that 2. Theres nothing romantic about the call of duty lobby. Also another guy with negative rizz. But not like in the creepy way like rook but in a loser way. He genuinely believes he is unfit for a relationship and that he is undeserving of love. If somehow he finds someone like that he'd be attached to them until the day he dies.

8/10 I love me a loser boy. He def has trust issues and paranoia but who doesn't in this game. He's rich so he could spoil u with the battle pass for literally any game. Plus ortho ends up becoming your little brother too. It's a win-win. Also don't ask him if the carpet matches the drapes.

Ortho Shroud- would probs hire u to date his brother out of genuine fear the dude would be alone for the rest of his life.

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪Diasomnia𓆩 ♡ 𓆪

Malleus Draconia - his prehistoric charm and awkward demeanor had captivated you, it seems. But yeah he's the kinda guy to say lines like "For the world could be dying and I would have never noticed it because I would have been not paying attention to the world itself, but would be gazing into your eyes watching them shine like the stars". He's soooo down bad. he's so happy to finally have someone to love him. Very very very loyal. But sometimes toes the line of yandere. 

9/10 he's so wonderful. All he wants is to love and be loved. But he still thinks of romance in this Victorian ages and gets hard when he sees your ankles or sumn.

Lilia Vanrouge- this Gent a wee bit peculiar innit? He has connections within the furry community that could destroy your life in seconds. He's everything. He’s everywhere. All at once. He genuinely has dabbled in many different things over the years , so he'll never run out of stories to tell. Many 3 am Minecraft dates. Those upside down  Spider-Man kisses. He’s more than ready to settle down with someone have kids of his own. Maybe have a girl. Name her draculaura, you know the rest. He probably went to monster high ngl. But he's a much more mature kinda guy. Definitely knows what he wants in a relationship. He's reasonable too. But you guys don't sleep in the same bed he hangs from the ceiling in a sleeping bag.

9/10 he's a bit vertically challenged and sometimes summons ancient demons by accident. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear in forgotten languages.

Silver - he's the female gaze bro. He's gorgeous . He’s legitimately a normal dude. But I don't think he's even been near a woman before. No rizz. Just soldier and eepy. But he definitely wants an s/o who can care for him a lot considering his narcolepsy. It's something that worries him a lot, and needs a person who's full of love to give, not only to him but to his family. But you're always welcome to nap with him underneath a tree in the warm sun.

7/10 he's a bit narrow-minded, only having a few goals set in mind and a strict regimen as a soldier. You have to work around that and his disorder in order to be his s/o. It's a lot dude. Especially when he leans in for a kiss but falls asleep inside and hits his head on the way down and gets brain damage.

Sebek Zigvolt- this gator wouldn't last a day in the Everglades bruh ‼️����I actually despise him. I have a picture of him in my room that I chew on when I get angry. Why is he always yelling. Why is he so obsessed with malleus even outside of his job. Actually, he probably leaves you for malleus. no chance with him bruh. But seriously you need to be super determined to get with him if you manage go past his alarm clock-like exterior. he's lonely.

3/10 I would turn him into a purse.his version of dirty talk is going "do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior wakasama-" and then you make him put his clothes back on and leave.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Thank you for reading!  ₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎◞ ̑̑

[oh-no-its-bird]

For the Uchiha Houhua AU, how does he survive the massacre? I'm guessing either he uses his poison skills to fake his death or he does the 'actually I was a prodigy all along' thing in front of Itachi. Itachi spends the next several years being driven a little insane by finding this out about his old friend.

Also does Houhua incarnate as a baby? Because if so he was probably old enough to babysat by Obito. I feel like you could do something interesting with that.

On that note his relationship with kakashi. Like that's his little brother figures sensei, and he was a shizun in his last life, he knows what it is to be a good teacher and kakashi in the early series is not that. If he also knew Obito and knows that that's his eye in kakashi's head? Oof.

How much of the Uchiha eye thing does he get? Does he have his sharingan? Or the mangekyou?

Also, wasn't it cannon that part of the reason why danzo let Itachi let Sasuke live was because he was a moldable child? How does he feel about having a semi adult Uchiha still alive? I feel like Houhua is walking a constant tightrope of protecting himself and Sasuke and not being seen as a threat by the creepy old man.

THIS IS A WONDERFUL QUESTION!! I. Am not too sure, actually

I feel like it'd probably be him trying to fight back maybe? Faking his death absolutely sounds like the shit hed do tho, so hmm might put that in his back pocket too

Either way, Houhua vs Itachi 1v1 where they're surprisingly well matched sounds really fun I cant lie.

Mmmm, maybe he can 1v1 Itachi and hold up surprisingly well? Itachi is doing the what is this, how are you doing this, have you been hiding yourself from me this whole time?! routine as Houhua goes fuck shit oh my god oh my god I cant believe that worked oh fuck--

Then Obito fucking teleports behind Houhua and stabs him. Oopsies!

Houhua somehow survives due to genuine luck, and gets a hint about there having been more than 1 person at the massacre maybe?

Idk if thatd work tho. Mmmm so many thoughts.

I do think that no matter what, Houhua would have to be "defeated" in some way. Play dead for a bit. If he comes out of the fight having visibly won, it'll spell problems and set dominos in motion I dont want dominoing just yet

So no matter what, he's ending the fight face down on the floor

ALSO THATS. SUCH A GOOD POINT ACTUALLY SHIT, DID OBITO HELP BABYSIT HIM?? Houhua did reincarnate as a baby, tho I think there was some soft mental block on him becoming truly conscious till he was at least around 5 years old. So by the time he was conscious at least, Obito was already gone. Rip!

I think that Kakashi wouldnt be immune to looking at Houhua and seeing the reflection of another cry baby ninja, though Houhua wouldn't have any real memory of Obito (tho he might have heard ab him before, with some clan members comparing them quietly when they think he's not listening)

Anyways I need a scene where Houhua and Obito meet once Houhua is older and Houhua straight up says "You know, I never did get why people thought we were anything alike" as a clear insult

Rare Houhua w !!

I think Houhua has an unusually difficult time manifesting anything w his eyes just bc of the emotional walls he has up between him and everyone around him. He does not allow himself to feel deeply for anyone enough for his eyes to be affected, no matter how fond he may grow of them. There is always a wall between him and the world.

I do also however think that no matter how hard he tries to distance himself from the people around him, even having known for years now that they'd all die this way, seeing the people who he was raised around all die to the hands of a boy he might have grown fond of--

Yeah.

Not even he's immune to that.

So when the massacre happens, he'll at least get his sharingan, tho idk how man tomoe (and I cant really remember what is needed to gain each tomoe, so, oops)

I do think he'd have an incredibly difficult time manifesting his mangekyou, for all the reasons above, so if he ever does it'd be way down the line.

I also think it'd be super fucking interesting (especially from an outsiders perspective) if he manifested it somehow due to MBJ's involvement, since his reincarnation is wandering around here somewhere as Jun, and does not remember Houhua

Houhua has no explanation for why he cares about this man deeply enough to manifest the mangekyou. Sorry.

Also, Im ngl, as I write this I can totally see an argument for something along the lines of "well Houhua went through a fuck ton of trauma as SQH, so what if when he regains his memories around 5, he automatically unlocks his sharingan just through that remembered trauma? Then just keeps it secret for years until the massacre"

I think that could be interesting tbh, it would also tell a story all on its own ab his grief for his past life and all the people there. Smthn to think ab, idk

Houhua is a bit too old and way too clever for Danzo's liking. hHis one only saving grace is that, on the surface at least, he's a fuckin worm of a boy and has literally no achievements other than having survived Itachi

He isn't worth getting rid of yet, but Danzo has an eye on him, just waiting for a reason to potentially knock him off.

Good think Houhua decided not to go the child prodigy route!! Putting his own flaws and weaknesses on blast to all of Konoha probably saved his fucking ass with Danzo. At least for now, anyways.

[mypimpademia]

So idk if you write for Kiri, but you know how kirishima is kinda like a total boys boy? Like a gym bro, kinda hyper masc? Well do you think you can write him with a hyper fem/hello kitty kinda girl? Like he always thought that he would be with kinda a gym girl, or someone more his speed with that kind of stuff, but instead he falls in love with a girl who always is wearing pink and something hello kitty themed? And how once he tells the bakugo buddy bunch about his crush on her they totally bully him for it (lovingly ofc)

Or maybe denki? I love both the silly boys bc iykwim they jus so adorable!

Like denki has a type, and [insert reader name] did not meet the standards of that, but little sparky boy did not think he would fall in love with her so quicky, especially because she's jus so feminine, and not necessarily that it's bad, he is just so confused on why they feel the need to dress like that. He's not opposed to trying new things or matching outfits tho.....

GAGAHSJRD SORRY I WROTE ALOT THERE ANTWYAS LOVE YOUR STUFF YOUR AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGG XX THANK YOU YOU DONT HAVE TO UF YOU DONT WANNA SHDJFJF

— Contrast

Kirishima x Hyperfem! Fem!Reader

TW: Swearing

Note: YOURE PERFECTLY FINE, I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE GO INTO DETAIL WITH REQUESTS🫶🏾 TYSM FOR SUPPORTING I HOPE YOU ENJOY LOVELY💖💖

— KIRISHIMA

⇶ Eijiro himself was confused when he developed feelings for you

⇶ He would never tell you this now, or probably ever, but you were nothing like the type of girl he imagined himself with

⇶ He always thought he’d date a girl that was similar to him interest wise, athletic, very fitness focused, into stuff like protein shakes

⇶ Not to say that it was bad that you weren’t like that, but it just wasn’t expected

⇶ Even the Bakusquad was perplexed when he revealed that he had a crush on you

“No fucking way.”

Eijiro waved off Denki’s response, slumping into the sofa with a sigh.

“Hey, don’t be an asshole! What’s wrong with Y/n? She’s cool and pretty!” Mina defended, shoving Denki by his shoulder.

He groaned dramatically, jokingly rubbing his arm in the spot she made contact with.

“I don’t mean it like that,” he explained. “She’s just the complete opposite of what Eiji always said he was lookin’ for in a girl.”

“No fuckin’ kidding, have you seen the girls room? It’s like she set off a pink paint bomb in there,” Bakugo chimed in.

“I like it!” Mina exclaimed.

“Yeah, I wonder why,” Bakugo muttered, earning a pillow to the face from Mina in response.

“I dunno, I kinda like it. It’s cute, and it’s actually a really nice contrast to me and my usual type,” Eijiro said.

“Yeah, you guys would look good together,” Denki, urged. “Honestly, I was gonna go for her, but I’ll let you have her!”

Eijiro rolled his eyes at the cocky remark from his friend.

“Let him? It’s that Denki for ‘I couldn’t pull her if I tried?’ Or?” Mina teased.

“Hey, what happened to ‘don’t be an asshole,’?”

⇶ When you do eventually get together, Eijiro comes to love your hyperfeminine all pink aesthetic

⇶ At first, the constant stares of all your stuffed animals would scare him when he slept over, and he had more nightmares of them attacking him than he’d like to admit

⇶ But now, your room is his favorite place to sleep, especially after a good workout and shower

⇶ Loves seeing you all dolled up whenever you go out anywhere

⇶ Sending him daily fit pics is a REQUIREMENT.

⇶ Calls you his doll all the time because that’s what you remind him of when you’re all dressed up in some frilly outfit and covered in pink from head to toe

⇶ Doesn’t understand the obsession with Sanrio and Hello Kitty and why you incorporate it into all your outfits, but he loves guessing the names of whatever character(s) you have on your clothes that day and gets so happy when he guesses right

⇶ And even though he doesn’t understand, he still buys you anything Sanrio that he sees in the store because he knows you’ll like it

⇶ If you make him watch Hello Kitty and Friends with you though, Eijiro will quickly learn to love it and know all the characters names by heart

⇶ Gets you both sleep masks of your favorite characters as well as matching pajamas

⇶ Eijiro might just love your cutesy aesthetic more than you, even though it’s not exactly what he gravitates towards for himself

⇶ Although you weren’t necessarily the type of person he expected to fall for, he could never imagine himself with anyone else <3

—

Taglist: @megurulvr @ivanari @planetlunaa @romiantic @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @gender-queery @roaringlion @cosmiles @tatiquichi @kxtsxkii @lillizxzz @starsoir @nikorubakugou @ruubric

Send in an ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.

—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated! Follow for more!

[marisshifting]

this post was meant to be published on the 29th of June.

hi guys!!! so...i haven't written a post in like AGES but here i am!

i don't really know how to introduce this so I'll just say it

MANIFESTING WORKS!!!

ok so what happened? basically there's one of my two childhood friends (the second is his brother😝) who is 2 years older than me and yeah i've liked him for the past 4 years

we were never THAT close, we just used to hang out with our families (I'm actually closer to his mom than to him🙏) and sometimes chat but nothing more, i always tried to get closer to him but he just kept and keeps pushing me away. after 4 years of liking him without any sign of him liking me back, i decided i had to do something about it and I STARTED MANIFESTING HIM.

yeah anyways on the 24th of June it was his name day, and of course as the pretty good girl I am I sent him my wishes. since on the 29th it was my name day, after a couple of days I started manifesting that he would send me the wishes too. AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE LITERALLY DID. he NEVER sent me wishes before but this year HE DID. he even added hearts😭

also, I manifested a couple things but they aren't really relevant. just instant manifesting because I'm too lazy😝

for example today i went to the beach but there are rocks in the sea and until yesterday i literally had a phobia of them (don't know why tho), but today before going there i said “I'm not scared of those rocks, why would I? I actually like them, I can swim without being scared of looking down” and it literally happened. like they didn't bother me at all. I KNOW THAT'S STUPID SORRY Y'ALL😭🙏

[hueningchu]

Never again.

Genre: Heeseung+Jake x Cheater!Reader

Parings: Smut, Angst, Established relationship

Song: “Unfaithful” by Rihanna

Warnings: Smut, Angst with a sort of happy ending, Mentions of cheating on partners, Established relationship, Toxic friendships and Toxic relationships, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Spanking, fingering (I apologize in advance if any of this is cringy)

Summary: After one more month of sneaking behind Heeseung’s back, You and Jake are beginning to get messy with covering it up. It all comes crumbling down when Heeseung receives a text from someone. What is the text about? Who sent it? How will they explain themselves? Who will Heeseung blame in the end?

Pt. 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You would like to say those hours a day you spent with Jake was not worth it but..my god it was. You did not regret a single minute that you spent with Jake. Heeseung was so sweet and so attractive but Jake was just something else to you. He made you feel good but so bad at the same time. The electricity and the heat you feel between you and Heeseung was nothing compared to how you feel with Jake. People say girlfriends are supposed to have butterflies of excitement when their significant other walks in the room. However, when yours walks in the room you feel guilt and nervous butterflies. Nervousness that at literally any moment Heeseung can ask you..

"So you and Jake have been getting along pretty well?" Hee asked with his back turned to you while he stirred his drink. Distracted by your phone, you almost missed the question, so he cleared his throat and repeated it. "You and Jake have became good friends, no?"

Getting asked that so out of the blue made your voice a tiny bit shaky but you were hoping Heeseung did not notice that."J-jake? Oh! Yeah he's uh..really cool. That's probably why he's your best friend huh?" You tried to give a normal answer that wouldn't sound suspicious but that sort of failed.

"Why is your voice so shaky? Geez, I'm only asking a question." He giggled and flashed you a smile. His sweet smile was a sign that you were off the hook.  "But really quick.." Hee got up and walked into the bedroom to fetch his phone that was charging. "I got this text today." When he walked past the couch, He tossed the phone to you so you could read over the text. "Take a look at it. It'll make you laugh." Heeseung giggled again before walking back in the kitchen.

You felt your heart stop the minute you saw the contact name of the person who the text was from. It was a very long paragraph to Heeseung, from none other than...Jake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake: Hey r you up?

Heeseung: It's like 3 in the morning.

Jake: You answered tho..

Heeseung: Well no shit. I'm awake

Heeseung: I'm just pointing out that it's late as hell and you're texting me

Jake: when has this ever been a problem in our friendship?? You used to text me at 5am to get ready for school together😭

Jake: Don't think I forgot lmao

Heeseung: Shut up

Heeseung: what did you text me about tho?

Jake: oh yeah

Jake: It's kind of a lot so like should I tell you in person?

Heeseung: why did you even text me if you weren't gonna tell me until later..

Jake: I'm sorry

Jake: I feel really bad about it. So I guess I'm avoiding the topic..

Jake: I'll just tell you now then

Heeseung: Are you trying to make me nervous or sum??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next text Jake sent to Heeseung was the last of the chats for that conversation. It was a lengthy paragraph explaining how you and him have been together without Heeseung knowing. You could start clapping on the spot because of how good of a show Jake put on. God, he acted like such a quiet and innocent little boy in front of Hee but if only his best friend knew the things jake would do while he kept Heeseung completely oblivious. All of those little moments you had with Jake were coming back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yo. Wanna ride with me to go get snacks. When I come back the three of us can go." Heeseung said to Jake as he grabbed his keys out the dish near the front door. "Y/n is still getting ready so by the time I get back she should be ready to go."

"Nah, I'll stay here and keep y/n company. I don't mind keeping an eye out for her." Jake smiled at his bestie before Heeseung quickly left out the door. "Hey, y/n!" Jake yelled out for you as he hopped off the couch to walk into you and Heeseung's shared bedroom, where you were currently getting ready. "Hey." He poked his head in the doorway and smirked at you.

"Hey?? Did Hee come back already? You guys ready to go?" You we're sitting on the bed, putting on lipgloss and adding the finishing touches on your makeup.

"He actually just left. I wanted to come see what you were up to. Maybe we have some time to fool around a bit." The sneaky boy started to walk over to you and smiled. "You look so sexy with all that makeup on." Jake leaned down and went in to kiss you.

"Are you crazy? He could walk in at any minute. Besides, I just finished my makeup!"

Jake grabbed your chin. "Come on. I didn't say we had to screw or anything. Let's just.." he shrugged and sat down next to you. "Makeout or something before he gets back."

When he tried to kiss you on your freshly made lips again you moved back and rest your elbows on the bed. "Stop it! It's obvious when people get done making out. Especially with the way you do it."

"Come on. We are gonna be with Heeseung all day. I need something to think about while we watch the movie." He sounded so desperate for you. He started to use the baby voice he uses when he wants something. When you shook your head again which caused him to groan and put his head in your lap. "Please babygirl..I can't go a whole day without kissing your pretty plump lips." That's what got you. The second you leaned down to give him a deep kiss, you both heard the front door open. "Awe that's him. Well, let's get this day over with.” Jake hopped up and stood with his back facing the door. “And don't say anything stupid that'll get us caugh-"

Jake could barely finish his stupid sentence before Heeseung walked in and leaned on the doorway. "Let's get going. Y/n, Put the snacks in your bag."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the flashbacks and memories were running through your head while you read the text message. "Heeseung.." Before giving him an explanation you realized there wasn't one and just started thinking of which excuse you should go with. "What is this?" Oh. That's really how your instincts decide to play it? The oblivious act was not gonna work on Heeseung and the way you were executing it, that act wouldn't work on anyone.

"That's exactly what I'm asking you. Why do I have my friend texting me at 3am, telling me that he's been fucking my girl behind my back?"

"Jake is a dirty liar. I don't even know why he would tell you that. Let alone why you would believe him."

"I don't know. I've been friends with him for almost 15 god damn years and he's never slept with any of my girlfriends so.."

You tilted your head, waiting for him to finish his sentence. "So?..."

"So I'm guessing it's true." Heeseung walked over to you. "I should have known." He shook his head. "I should have known the minute I caught you leaving the house in the middle of the night." Heeseung was getting himself worked up. You could tell he was slowly boiling over. "I'm so fucking stupid. You told me.." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You fucking told me you were going out for gas and I believed you. I can't believe I trusted you."

"What about Jake?" You quietly said.

Heeseung tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "Did you seriously just ask me that? What about him?"

"Why is it all my fault and why is none of the blame on him?" Just as you said that you both heard a doorbell ring, causing your heads to turn towards the front door.

Heeseung chuckled and started to walk over to the door. "Funny you ask that. Cause I actually called him earlier and asked if he was busy. Told him that if not then he should come over so the three of us could talk." When Heeseung went to open the door you couldn't take it. You wanted to leave but there was no where to run. So you ran up to Heeseung and tried to convince him otherwise.

"Please Hee. Don't do this." You pleaded for him to just ignore it or tell the person on the other side to go away. You knew it was Jake and your heart couldn't take anymore stress or heartbreak.

"Don't call me that. I don't ever wanna hear you use that nickname again." Heeseung replied before pulling away from you to open the door for the visitor. Of course, it was just who you expected.

When the door swung open and you were both met with the main manipulator himself, You looked away and ran into the kitchen to get away from what was awaiting you. While Heeseung on the other hand faced his best friend head on. The minute he opened the door, Heeseung gave Jake the most bold and serious stare possible.

Jakes 'sincre' eyes met Heeseung's serious ones and he only said three words. "I'm sorry, man."

"Yeah. You said that already." Heeseung said as he leaned a arm on the door frame. "Don't just stand there, come inside."

Heeseung shut the door after Jake walked in. "So.." Jake took his coat off and started to walk towards the living room. "Where is she?"

"I don't know. She probably ran upstairs." Heeseung just stood near the front door, covering his face with one of his hands as he let the other rest on his hip. He was thinking about how hard this whole conversation was gonna be. "She's embarrassed."

Jake chuckled and started walking up the stairs to go find you. "Embarrassed? What is she embarrassed for? She did this to herself."

When you overheard Jake say such lies you came out of the kitchen. You were almost just as mad as Heeseung now. "I did this to myself?!"

You scanned the room for Jake and tears almost fell when you seen him and his shit eating grin standing at the top of the stairs. "There she is. There's the bell of the ball. Or should I say the lying cheating slut." Your eyes widened when Jake came at you with such vigor. He walked over to you and then pointed at Heeseung. "Look at him." When you wouldn't turn your head to face Heeseung's, Jake grabbed your chin with his other hand and forced you to. "Look at how hurt you've made him. All because you wanted one night of fun with me."

"It was more than one night, you asshole!" There goes the tears. You pushed Jake away from you and shook your head to get his grip off of you.

That's when Heeseung decided to jump back in on the argument. "How many nights exactly was it, Y/n?" He took Jake's spot and stood right in front of you. "Was it a special occasion type thing or was it every other weekend?" Heeseung pulled out his cellphone. "Oh, how about this? Let's go through our messages and see just how many times you have used a shitty excuse to blow me off."

Jake walked over and leaned on Heeseung's shoulder. "Should we make a game out of it? Try to guess which excuses are real and which ones are fake."

When Heeseung pulled up the messages he scrolled back a bit and then let out a giggle. "What about this one?" He showed Jake and kept it hidden from you. "Was she telling the truth?"

Jake took time to read it and then he giggled too before shaking his head. "Sorry but she was lying. It’s what women do, Heeseung. They lie and cheat.”

Gosh this was SO ironic coming from him. The fact Heeseung hasn’t called him out yet surprised you but it seemed most of his anger was towards you. "Who do you think you are? Don't try to pin this all on me." You turned to Heeseung and threw your hands in the air. "How can you let him stand here and talk about you like this? How can you let him come into our home and disrespect us?!"

"Us?! No y/n, I don't think you understand. There is no more us." Heeseung pushed you out of the way and walked up the stairs. He was gone for a bit before walking back with two suitcases. "And this home is no longer 'ours'."

"Are those my things? Are you throwing me out?!" You started to run up the steps but before you could Heeseung threw the bags over the stairs. You stood there shocked for a moment before the anger struck. "What the fuck! I'm not just a animal, Heeseung! You can't just throw me out onto the streets whe-"

"I can and I will. Do you expect me to keep you here after what you've done to me?"

"So let me get this straight." You pointed to Jake who was standing at the bottom of the stairs so innocently. "You'll kick me out and never speak to me again but there's no repercussions for Jake?" You gave Heeseung an exasperated look. "Am I the only one who this falls on? What's so special about Jake that you just can't bring yourself to lay the iron fist on him?

"What do you want me to do Y/n?! Want me to get in a fist fight with him because my girlfriend made a move on him?"

"He was the one who made a move on me first!"

Jake shook his finger. "Uhh actually no. That's a lie because if I remember correctly you told me that you had been wanting to hook up with me for months before I even brought it up to you."

"Ah ha!" You pointed at him again. "So you do admit that you're the one who made a move on me first!"

When Jake realized you caught him he switch the topic so no blame could fall on him yet. "I told you the first time we did it that it would never happen again. I made it clear that it was a mistake and that I never wanted to continue contact after that."

"I never asked for you again after the first time."

"So explain to me how you and Jake became a casual thing. If neither of you contacted the other after the first time then how did this become an item."

"Jake called me a two weeks after and told me he couldn't control himself. He said he knew it was wrong to go behind YOUR back but he couldn't help it and needed me in his bed again."

Heeseung looked hurt by this information and sent Jake a perplexed look. You knew he was secretly hurting and was trying to keep it together but he asked for the truth. So you gave it to him.

Jake definitely noticed the look Heeseung gave him so he took that as the cue to start explaining himself.

Only he didn't explain himself. Instead he shifted the blame again and somehow made Heeseung even more mad at you. "Oh? Was I the one who hit you up on Valentine's day and practically begged you to come over and fuck me?"

"Wait..Valentine's day?" Heeseung turned back to you with his brows furrowed. "Didn't I have to spend Valentine's Day in the ER with my brother?" You seen Heeseung start walking down the steps towards you. "I thought you were sick in bed all day and couldn't come with me to the hospital.

When Heeseung said that Jakes eyes widened and he held a smirk on his face. A smirk that made it obvious that he was trying not to laugh. "So..how is it possible that you were sick at home AND over my house on Valentine's Day?"

More tears found their way in your eyes when Jake fed into the fire that was burning in Heeseung. "I n-never went over Jake's house. Heeseung, I swear. I was at home on Valentine's Day." Your emotions started taking control and you started falling apart inside. The lying was a clear sign of that.

"Heeseung." Jake looked over at his best friend. "Why would I lie about something like this? Shit, I even have pictures in my camera roll that me and her took on Valentine's Day."

When Heeseung got quiet Jake knew it was the perfect time to convince him. "Take a look. They aren’t dirty pictures or anything. Just some pics we took at dinner." Jake pulled out his phone and started tapping and scrolling until he found the picture he was referring to. "Check the date."

Heeseung's face got even more sour when he seen this piece of evidence. "Seriously, Y/n?! While I was at the hospital with my brother?!" You jumped when he got loud. You don't know why. Heeseung never hit you but you were so scared. "To think that my girlfriend would rather fuck my best friend than come with me to the hospital to care for my brother is...a wake up call." He started to walk over to you. "I'm surprised I didn't find out earlier. Love makes you so blind and oblivious sometimes."

When you thought Heeseung would zero in on you some more for the horrible truth he just found out, he turned around. "And you." He looked straight at Jake and shook his head. "I can't even begin to tell you how hurt I am."

Jake put his head down in false shame and nodded at Heeseung's words. "You're right. I'm sorry I let me and y/n's  relationship get this far."

Heeseung waited to hear more from Jake but that was it. Heeseung raised an eyebrow. "So why did you do it?"

"I'm sorry?" Jake was a bit confused by the question.

"You said you knew your relationship with y/n shouldn't have gotten that far. So why did it? Why did you call her back and tell her you needed more."

Jake rubbed his arm. "I honestly couldn't tell you. Heeseung..You know I'm not the best with girls and so when y/n showed me the passion and love that she did I couldn't just let her go. I wanted more of that passion in my life."

"So what.." Heeseung shrugged and tried to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall. He didn't wanna cry. He wanted to be a man and face this situation with a cold attitude but it was too much..even for him. "Are you like..in love with her or something?"

Jake whipped his head up at Heesung and quickly shook his head. "N-No. I don't love her but I-"

Heeseung walked down the steps, walking past you until he reached Jake. "Are you saying you wanna steal her love and passion away from me?"

"Heeseung, I-"

No matter what Jake tried to say, Heeseung wouldn't let him get one word in. "Because that's exactly what you did. You stole her from me and ruined a perfectly good relationship. I can't even live in the same house as her anymore because all I can think about when I look at her is how you defiled and ruined her."

"He didn't ruin me, Heeseung." You tried to speak to him and get him on your side. "I'm still your perfect angel." You couldn't stop sniffling. "I'm still your baby."

Heeseung shook his head. "No. It's not the same anymore. God, I can't believe this is ending like this." You could see a tear fall onto his cheek but before you could wipe it for him, he turned away from you and Jake.

"It doesn't have to end like this!" You followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch in front of him with your hands together. "Please. Please give me another chance. I'll be better to you, I promise."

"No." Heeseung sat down next to you and took one of your hands into his. "I can't do that y/n. If I take you back then I'll have to break it off with Jake." Heeseung said this quietly to you so that Jake wouldn't hear.

I nodded my head and leaned closer to whisper to Heeseung. "Do it. Break it off with Jake and keep me. Jake was the one who started all of this turmoil. You should hear the things Jake used to say about you when we were alone."

"What type of things did he used to say?" Heeseung asked as he looked up at you and held your hand.

Just then Jake slowly stepped into the living room and you could see a scowl creep across his face when he caught glimpse of the hand holding you and Heeseung were doing. "Ask him yourself. Jake tell him about the things you used to say."

Heeseung let go of your hand and stood up to question Jake. "You gonna explain?"

Jake chuckled and wore that stupid smirk again. "Explain what? Explain how y/n used to scream out about how she wanted me and how i fucked her better than you?"

Before Jake could speak anymore a loud smack echoed throughout the room. "Could you have at least some respect. Is this situation not serious to you?"

The slap from Heeseung immediately made Jake go wide eyed. "I was just quoting what your so-called girlfriend said about me."

Heeseung went for another smack but Jake managed to block this one. "Did you just say 'so called' girlfriend? She was my very serious girlfriend who I loved very much.” Hearing Heeseung speak in past tense broke your heart and stunned your hope of a second chance.

"Listen. I'm sorry if you think I'm being disrespectful about this but you need to wake up and realize that she's the problem here." He put his hand on Heeseung's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Our friendship was perfectly fine before she came along."

"Our relationship was perfectly fine before YOU came along!" You stood up behind Heeseung and put your hand on his back.

"Get your hands off of him, slut." Jake pulled him away from you.

"He's my boyfriend."

"Didn't you hear him earlier? He's throwing your ass out."

"No. He said he's reconsidering giving me a second chance." You grabbed Heeseung's hand. "Right?"

"Go on. Tell her no." Jake’s grip on his shoulder tightened.

Heeseung broke away from the both of you and he put his hands up defensively. "Both of you need to back up." He stammered. "I don't even know what to think anymore. All of this is too exhausting."

"It's an easy answer." Jake stood near Heeseung. "She's out of the picture."

"Jesus, Jake. Why are you being so overbearing?"

"Because you are having sympathy for this girl who backstabbed you."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you." You said under your breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, Come on Jake. You're not a very innocent soul in this." Heeseung let slip.

"So what? You're on her side now?"

"I'm not on anyone's side! There are no sides in this!"

You sat back down and started to suddenly cry again. Both of the boys stop and looked at you. One of them came to comfort you and the other didn't.

Can you guess which one comforted you.

"Baby.." Heeseung kneeled down and rushed to your side. "Why are crying again?” He brought a hand up to rub your knee.

Of course it was Heeseung. It was always him. How could you not tell that Jake never truly loved you. Jake was only using you for pleasure. If anyone is to blame for this, it’s you for trusting Jake. With his dumb smile and empty words.

"You're gonna leave me Heeseung." You sobbed. "Aren't you?"

"I'm.." He paused and looked away from you. Trying to figure out the answer to that question for himself. He still hasn't decided what he wants to do. "I don't know, Y/n. I just know I love you."

"So you are basically saying you're taking her back?" Jake scoffed. "Gosh, you're so stupid."

That's when Heeseung snapped even more. "Seriously? What is your problem?! Do you have no shame or remorse?!"

"I have remorse but I'm just telling you this girl is not worth fighting for."

"You just stumble in and ruin my relationship. Do you even feel bad about what you did?”

Jake shook his head. “If it means I saved you from wasting your time on her.”

Heeseung stood up again. That was it. He couldn’t do anymore of this back and forth. "Get out. This is our home and I need you to leave right now." Heeseung raised his voice and pointed to the door.

You've never seen Heeseung yell at Jake like that. They are best friends so you have never seen them really argue. Unless it was over the video game. When Jake stood in silence for a while he eyed the two of you and both, you, and Heeseung could tell he had so much more to say. He looked like he wanted to blurt out a thousand things at once. "Do you really want me to leave?"

"Yes. Want me to walk you out?"

Jake widened his eyes and shook his head. "Nah. That's fine." He waved his hand in the air and turned around to walk to the front door.  "I've been here a thousand times. I know my way out."

Heeseung waited until he heard the door open and close. He let out a sigh he never knew he was holding in. "It's just you and me now." Heeseung had a sort of disgusted look on his face as he turned to eye you up and down. "How could you let him do that." He shook his head and walked up to you, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. "You let him see and touch all of the places that were meant for me." His other hand started to travel up your t-shirt as he wrapped his arm around your waist. "I was your first and I was supposed to be your last."

"I'm s-so sorry." The tears were still running from earlier. You couldn't tell if the mood was more or less tense since Jake left. You looked up at him and leaned into his chest. "Please don't make me leave. I'm sorry I caused this."

He sighed and put the hand that was cupping your face behind your head, holding you close to him. God he wanted to scream and scold you but he just couldn't bring himself to truly kick you out. He loved you and all the chaos that came with you. It's not like you did this on the daily or anything and he knew that. That's why he was seriously considering taking his girl back. He wanted his sweet princess back.

"I'm not gonna kick you out."

You leaned back and looked up at him with wide teary eyes. "Really?"

He nodded.

"Does this mean you are gonna break it off with Jake?"

"You know I can't do that, baby." He kissed your head. "He's my best friend and I can't abandon him. Just like I can't abandon you."

"Oh Heeseung.." you wrapped your arms around his neck and jumped up into his arms. "I'm so sorry. I'll do anything to prove myself to you and show you that I'm gonna be better."

"You keep saying that but you are gonna have to show me now." Heeseung lightly pushed you down on the couch. "How about you take your pants off." With no hesitation you listened to him and took your pajama pants off. You then took your shirt and bra off to get it out of the way.

"You a little excited?"

Nodding, you spread your legs for him.

He chuckled. "Jake's right. You are a fucking slut. I never seen this side of you before." Heeseung leaned in, reached his hand down and started to harshly rub your clit. "You're always so incredibly innocent for me." He swears when he took your virginity and you looked at him with that doe like gaze he fell in love with you and you're pure like aura. He couldn't lie that he sort of liked this side of you too. You were just as submissive as before but a tad bit more straight forward.

Just when he got you wet enough, Heeseung stopped rubbing you and leaned back again. "Turn around for me."

Once again, you did as he said and turned around on your stomach.

"You gotta understand that I can't let you off too easy, baby." Heeseung started rubbing your clothed ass before he landed a hard slap on it. "If I don't show some assertiveness then you're gonna think it's okay to go around whoring yourself out." Another smack landed on one of your cheeks.

You let out a helpless yelp. "I promise. I'm never gonn-"

That landed you another hard smack "Don't speak. I'll tell you when you can talk to me."

He started undoing his belt and he swung it out of the loop holes before folding it. "Get over here and lean over my lap." Before he could say anything else, you bent over his knees. “Should I give you the pleasure or pain first?” He started to rub your ass again where he smacked earlier.

Not wanting to piss him off anymore, you waited a bit to answer because he told you not to speak unless he said so. “You can talk now, honey.”

“Pleasure!” You blurted out. “Give me pleasure. I’m begging you.”

He thought about it and nodded. “Alright baby. Whatever you want.” Heeseung set aside his leather belt for now and quickly pulled your panties down. He grabbed your hair and pulled your head up to whisper in your ear. “I’m gonna finger fuck you until you beg me to lay my cock into you.”

Ughh why was he so irresistible. Every word slipped off his tongue like a symphony and it incited the heat in your lower abdomen. Slowly you felt his hand creep right between your thighs and you opened your legs best you could. Heeseung slipped two wet fingers past your folds. Your man knew exactly what you wanted because he wasted no time pumping and pistoling his fingers in and out of your plush cunt.

Since Heeseung was getting tired of waiting for his turn he decided to speed up the process of you getting yours. The way he decided to do this however was something you were a bit scared for. He let go of your hair and reached over to grab his belt. “I’ll show you what dirty cheaters get.”

A loud wham filled the room, followed by a yelp from you. He continued fingering you roughly as he hit your ass with his belt ever so often. "Did I not fuck you good enough? Or did you just get tired of me? Is that why you went and had Jake take over for a while?"

"No Heeseung. I could never get tired of you."

"Then why did you do it darling?"

You stayed silent and looked down in shame when you had nothing to say. "It's okay. I'll make sure he never gets in your pretty little head again." Heeseung grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you off of his lap as he stood up. "Make sure you stay dumb for me and my cock only."

Heeseung pushed you down by your shoulders and you looked up at him, while getting on your knees. Watching as he pulled his layers of clothes down and let out his unbelievably hard dick. “I gave you pleasure then pain. You put me through so much pain and so now you have to give me my pleasure.”

You moaned as you took him in your mouth. Letting him do as he pleased. You were so pliant for him. The safe feeling you got from Heeseung made you start to think. You couldn’t believe you ever took this for granted. “Your pussy is probably gushing wet while sucking my cock. Isn’t it?” Heeseung kept a fistful of your hair in his hand while he thrusted his hips towards your face. “You wanna touch your pretty pussy, don’t you?”

When he could feel and so he pulled your head back and made sure you looked up at him. “Go on. Play with yourself while I cum on your face, gorgeous.” He took his other hand and started jerking right in front of your face, groaning when he caught a glimpse of you actually moving your hand down to begin playing with yourself.

You whimpered as one of your fingers slipped past your entrance. Heeseung could feel his first orgasm of the night coming and you were trying to finish what Heeseung started earlier.

Your whole body tensed up to give you a warning that your orgasm was here. As if all this wasn’t enough, Heeseung groaned loudly while his cum dripped onto your face and lips.

Heeseung bent down and grabbed your chin roughly. “Look at that face. So cute.” He leaned so close that his lips were almost touching yours. "This is your last chance, you little whore. Don't fuck with me again."

Everything was still so fuzzy but you managed to nod slowly. "Of course. Never again."

He kissed you deeply like he's never kissed you before.

"Never again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

word count - 5.6k

Notes: I’m so happy I am finally in a mood to start writing again. This is not very good for my first work back but it’s something light. Hope it’s okay and please ignore any grammar or English mistakes!

[weirdfreakshow]

Can I just say I love your bully Joel AU? HOLY SHIT the thought of Etho raping him and basically isolating him from everyone because "he's an irredeemable asshole, nobody would want to be close to him ever, right? Etho is the only person willing to talk to him at all" and manipulating Joel to make him dependent on Etho because Etho himself has become addicted.

Joel lashes out and rebells, just for Etho to put him in his place again and again. At first Etho just did it to shut him the fuck up, but goddamn if that brat wasn't the cutest ass he's ever had. At some point he just started manipulating him and making him have sex with Etho whenever (whether he wanted to or not) as a form of "retribution" and it's this fucked up toxic relationship but Etho doesn't care at all. All his friends praise him for always protecting them from Joel's bullying but little do they know Etho is doing something wayyy worse himself behind the scenes.

I also like to think about how Joel would cope. Like at first he'd cry a lot because it hurt like shit, but then why tf is his body reacting like this?? Why is it responding to Etho? Is there really something wrong with him? I imagine it makes him angry and defensive which causes him to get into even more trouble than before, which leads to Etho abusing him more, which leads to even more lashing out, and the loop just spirals until he's either miserable but still entirely dependent on Etho, or he starts liking it and actively seeks punishment (he never stops crying tho, Ethos likes it when he cries anyway).

Anyway can you tell I'm going insane??? Good food.

Oh my goddddd this. this is everything. I still very much cherish the Bully Joel au, it's SO good

And yeah! You got the looping spiral perfectly, that's kind of the drive for the the whole au to keep going and getting worser. Joel gets a bit shaken at first by it, obviously thrown off by being pushed out of his weird power play he had with everyone, being reminded of his place in the world as "prey", but once he recovers from it a bit he goes right back at lashing out. He's violent, mean, annoying. That's what he does! Lash out at everyone!

Add Etho into the mix and it all becomes a mess, because Etho makes him feel small and scared again, and that makes him want to appear scary, makes him be crueler with the pranks and his words, makes him want to occupy more space and let everyone know he's NOT prey, he's just not, he's not the little red riding hood, he's the wolf. Totally! It makes him hate bdubs, he knows he can't hurt Etho but he can hurt his precious "Bubs" instead. But oh well, that just gets him raped again! Joel is so fucking stupid sometimes!

And oh, when he actually is raped, speared on Etho's hard cock. It's just like he's a kid again, scared and shaking but cumming sooo hard all the same. He hates himself so much, what the fuck is wrong with him? He'll catch himself getting hard from having Etho's gross rapist dick down his throat. Slobbering all over it, taking it all in like a little fleshlight even if it bulges his throat a bit. He doesn't know what's worse, keeping his eyes open and having to look at Etho's lustful eyes or closing them and remembering other things that happened in the past. It's like there's no escape. He doesn't get to dissociate because he's just so horny his whole body burns, and a normal person would wish they were home instead of having to face this horrible situation, but Joel knows being there wouldn't be any better, so he braces for it. Tries to fight back sometimes, yes, but it's pointless. He's small and stupid and I guess his body WAS actually just made for being raped.

All their friends praising Etho is just so good. So . fucking . good . Joel knows not to mess with Gem, avoids Bdubs most of the time, doesn't even bother Tango even though he fucking hates that guy too. It's just fun, Etho says it's truly nuthin', its fine. Oh, always so humble, the guy. What a guy.

Joel already doesn't have THAT many friends, or if he did he doesn't seem to hang out so much with them anymore, especially Grian. Ever since he got a boyfriend they kinda broke apart, so getting Joel alone isn't a hard task. Joel usually ends up sitting alone somewhere hidden, like under the bleachers where he goes to smoke his older brother's stolen cigarettes. Hurting him and getting to his little head isn't hard either, after all he's all bark, secretly a sensitive kid inside

[errruvande]

So, your OC, why don't you present her to us?

You said she was a friend of Eomer and Eowyn? Can we know more?

yes, yes, I am curious!

Be careful, I might ask even more questions!

haah Emma i'm glad you're interested enough in my little OC 💖😭

Yes, they are friends with both Eomer and Eowyn, tho she's a tiny bit more close to Eomer, i'd say. They first met when they were kids (she was 12 back then, Eomer just a year older). She kicked his ass in front of his friends tho. That was his first impression: a girl who kicked his royal little ass, and they were together ever since (rascals, i mind you)

I wanted to do a proper chapter with a quick dive into her childhood and how she met Eomer, but I guess i can leave something here as well ahah

Her father is a smith in Edoras (they moved there after some events in their small city) and he started to care for the Eored's swords and armor. Once he asked Flae (it's a short from Flaedwyn) to go to the training field and gather the princes' swords, cause they had to be maintained, and there she stumbled across very cocky young man 😅 Flae kinda humiliated him and his friends with how good he handled the sword.

She didn't know how Eomer and Eowyn looked back there, since they weren't living the centre of the city and the royal and noble kids rarely passed them by

They became very close friends and was causing lots of harmless troubles to the royal guards together (with Eowyn as well)

She wanted to fight alongside Eomer, but alas, the traditions are not easily breaking, so she works for her father's workshop

*Eomer is low-key in love but will never admit it even to himself*

I tried to find some picrews but i guess i lost them (i had them for like 3 years i guess, too many things happened to my poor laptop) 😭 I think i need to fancast someone huh

So for the appearance: She is the most Rohirrim-ish girl you can possibly think of: blond hair, blue eyes, pretty tall (5’9) strong-build, but still her face structure is what other women and man consider elvish, she have a bit more exquisite appearance than most women in Rohan, but still not that finesse as elves. Her blond hair is long and wavy, usually she wears them either flowing or in one thick long braid (depends on what she's currently doing).

i hope that fed your curiosity a bit ahaha But yeah, keep em coming, if you have other questions, I'm only up to talk a bit about Flae huh

[tlouconfidential]

Of course labeling people as "good" or "bad" all depends on perspective, I don't think I hate Abby lol I'd be pissed if someone killed my dad too. She wild as hell tho for tracking him down after all these years lol, but i guess ellie does beat her in that apartment 😭 it's giving "I am crazier!!!!" vibes.

Obviously Joel is no saint and eventually someone was gonna get real pissed with him, but i will say, if someone killed my dad to save their child, it would make me think twice. Abby tried reassuring her dad and saying "if it was me I'd want you to go through with the surgery" but i think it's easier for her to say that when she's not the one on the operating table. They knocked ellie's ass out so they could kill her, mind you she's a CHILD.

And yes, Joel was fuckin brutalll with killing all those fireflies in the hospital, but its not like he could've waltzed up to the OR and said "hey, let go of my kid and lets talk it out!!" I dont think the fireflies were leaving him much of a choice either....

They clearly knew who joel and ellie were in the tunnel, marlene saying "oh they didn't recognize you sorry for knocking you out" was such fuckin bullshit. Someone said there were journal entries from when joel and ellie first entered the tunnel, they've also been anticipating their arrival for months so i'm sure they knew who the fuck joel and ellie were.

I'm sure Abby was bitter over the death of friends too, but i don't think she cared as much about the fact that there couldn't be a cure anymore as she was about her dad being killed. I'm not excusing what joel and ellie did, i definitely think ellie did a lot more damage than abby did, but I don't think Abby is completely innocent either. I'm just irked at naughty dog for making ellie suffer so much and have her end up alone, couldn't they have cut her some slack like goddamn. Not to mention joel and tommy would never have been dumb enough to tell strangers their names, I don't care if they've been in jackson for 20 years I dont think those kinds of instincts leave you. Hell even on outbreak day when that family was asking for a ride joel already wanted to not help them. Yeah whatever i know they needed it to happen for the story to progress, yada yada. They could've done something a little different though idk. and yes, even if they did say fake names I'm sure abby would still already know who they were, who knows though it could've bought them a little bit more time before it all went to shit.

.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

[hel-phoenyx]

Oli belongs to @thal-ent, Domhildr to @soupedepates, Meili to @azeler, and Kaizarz, Skuld and Valentina to @corneille-but-not-the-author

Some harmless drug shenanigans after the end of the first arc of Kaizarz's campaign

Next time a stranger tries to make me drink something unidentified, remind me to not accept it.

Mom always told me, tho. Never accept drinks from strangers. I guess I let go of that teaching after she died, like many of her lessons. I haven't started drinking heavily for nothing after all, with no mother supervision.

See ? See what I mean ? The simple fact I can think about it without stopping to smile, or even to sing proves I should really have listened to my mother, this time. I'm humming a sea shanty since fifteen fucking minutes, and it's THAT sea shanty. And I'm still. Fucking. Happy.

We sailed from Estnoth yesterday. coincidentialy, yesterday was also the day I shared a last drink with my adversary at the centauric games, Polyphemus the One-Eyed. The drink was ambrosia. And since then I'm litteraly fifty feet high.

At least that's the impression I'm having, since I'm not used to just exist without the intrusive thoughts.

And he told me it was going to last three days. I'm so doomed. Meili is already wondering what the fuck is going through my head. I kinda did went from looking at him weird to saying good morning with a smile.

Worse is that the sea reacts to my mood. So we got the biggest sunlight I have ever seen around the coasts. It's at least twenty degrees outside, and Domhildr dropped some layers. And that apparently had an influence on my mood because the wind stopped the moment I saw her. What the fuck, happy brain.

So since we have little to no wind for a while, we're just taking a break right now. Valentina is still at the helm, trying to catch a wind current or two : Pretty sure Meili is trying to recover his magic to help her, but he's still pretty weak. Fairy alcohol does wonders on people not used to it.

So on the deck there's only me, Oli, Domi and Kaizarz. Skuld is once again in her garden. That's too bad, but I can't exactly barge in and throw her outside, as much as I want to see her. I'll go get her at night.

Right now I have to deal with Oli looking at me weird.

"Someone is unusually smiling today."

The ambrosia can't stop me from sighing.

"Yeah, that's Polyphemus's special. Well. Peleus'. The infamous alcohol that makes you happy for a while. Not taking any drugs from him ever again..."

Domhildr laughs, and her fist come right to my thigh.

"Should have figured, that kind of happy-go-lucky attitude is definitely artificial in you, Tyr."

"Are you insinuating I am never happy ?"

It's true, yes, but still, kinda hurtful right now.

Sadly the answer does not come from Domhildr. Or even Oli. Because the one that decides to deal me the fatal blow is none other than Kaizarz, that dropped the piece of armor he was cleaning with a huge smile on his face.

"No offense, Tyr, but you really kinda are our eternal brooding friend."

Oh, that motherfucker is so gonna regret this.

I snap my fingers. And a fraction of second later all of Kaizarz's hard work on his armor is ruined by a water jet that just hit him right in the face, while I'm throwing at him my best challenging smile.

"You wanna say that to my face again, your Majesty, or one seawater bath is enough for you ?"

"Try me, bro."

Oh I'm not gonna abandon the challenge. Also, I did owe him a bath from our last playfighting.

He lifts his fists, ready to parry the next blast, but he was not ready for the wave, coming right from the ocean to cover him entirely. Oli and Domhildr, the collateral damages, start screeching and running away from me, but they're not my current targets.

It would be stupid, tho, to think Kaizarz the Liberator would be stopped by a simple wave. He jumps outside the water stream with the speed of a rukkorn, and if I avoid his first attempt to catch me, he apparently learned since the last time, because his trick move caught me right off guard. And one second later I'm blocked on the ground with my king, my best friend, on top of me.

Shit, the ambrosia is apparently having another kind of secondary effect.

Please do not notice. Please do not notice.

Luckily for me he does not. And smiles at me again with all teeth out. The cleft lip is making it even bigger. And in my lovestruck mind I find it beautiful.

Damn ambrosia.

I roll my eyes.

"Again, I will fucking bite you if you don't let go."

"I'd rather have you use your teeth to smile, that's better than biting me."

This is making me laugh. Or something assimilated.

"Dude, the girl you promised to marry is a vampire."

"Still don't want to get bitten, thanks !"

Fair enough. Also I'm pretty sure he's the only person I know that won't get damage from me biting them, but it still gotta hurt.

At least that gets him off me. He stands up, then helps me regain a position more flattering than lying on the ground under a wet dumbass. Affectionately. But I'm still a bit... Shaken up let's say by that victory in particular.

Gods that feeling is unusual.

"Hey, where are Oli and Dom ?"

Was I invoking the gods ? Anyway I thank them for that impromptu distraction.

"Probably inside to avoid, I don't know, a big wave that shouldn't have been here ? Smarter than some people, must I say."

"You're really asking for a second defeat, Tyr ?"

I lift my only hand in the air.

"Nope ! I'm beaten."

And certainly do not want the ambrosia secondary effects again, if I do say so myself.

Lucky for me Kaizarz takes me seriously, and instead of attacking me again drops the rest of his armor. Seawater must have gone deep in the chains, he's good to redo all his cleaning work again ; strangely he does not hold any resentment I can see against me.

He just smiles again.

"Feels good to have you in a good mood, you know."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but that's just the ambrosia. Apparently I can't communicate properly with you without alcohol involved. In a few days i'll get back to my, well, brooding self."

A laugh escapes his mouth.

"Guess I'll just have to replace the ambrosia, then."

"Are you saying you want to be the reason I smile every day ?"

He blinks. Then laughs again.

"You know you're saying really weird things sometimes, Tyr."

[pragnificent]

Anyway when I was 17 (so like I said, literally 23 years ago) I bottle raised a Rottweiler puppy, and I knew I couldn't keep him bc I was moving out soon and I already had a big dog.

My aunt asked for him, and even tho she was (and is) a shitty person* I thought it would be good to keep him in the family so I could check-in.

Aunt told us to "come take this dog" like four hours later.

So then Ken, my father, said that he wanted to give the puppy to one of his co-workers (they were nurses) who had a kid, but for some reason that I cannot explain in retrospect, that idea upset me and I dug my heels in about it, and insisted on giving him to the humane society because they knew best how to find a good home.

And like, I basically said that to the humane society worker when I surrendered him, and they looked at me weird but didn't say anything to me against that idea.

And like, Ken was so fucking mad at me for that. Like hurt-angry. And he's been dead since 2019 but the last few months I just like fucking get fixated on this particular situation with the puppy and the possibility that maybe I gave him REASONS to hate me and the issue wasn't that he he was an abuser but rather that I was a mean crazy bitch that was impossible to live with.

Which, objectively, I know that I would IMMEDIATELY dismiss as BS if someone else said it to me, even if that person had only gone through a 10th of the shit he did, but guess what??? My brain hates me and my emotions are never ever Valid even if everyone else's are!

And ALSO, like, I know at least some of the reasons why I was resistant to give the puppy to his friend were like... Not based on nothing. I was at the hospital they worked at when I had my spinal surgeries and just... Terrible traumatic experience. I got an infection in my incision bc the nurse spilled a bed pan on it (and the wound care for that was probably the most painful thing I've ever experienced) and I remember listening to a baby down the hallway SCREAMING for what seemed like FOREVER bc the nurse couldn't get a vein.

And like if you have never heard a little baby SCREAMING in pain just be happy that you haven't.

And like ALSO Ken shockingly was not a good judge of character, and I can only remember meeting a couple friends of his that weren't Awful... Like the first time I heard the n-slur out loud was from one of his friends and also a couple years before Ken died one of his friends tried to murder -suicide him by grabbing the steering wheel while Ken was driving. Crashed the car so hard that it was totaled.

But yeah. Just gotten fixated lately (actually, I am self aware, whenever I'm PMSing) that

1.) I was a Bad Kid actually (I am Aware that even a Bad Kid did not deserve all of that) and that I gave him Valid Reasons to hate me.

2.) That I Hurt and Upset what MIGHT have been a Nice Lady with a Nice Kid by refusing to give him the puppy, and in the process cheated him out of a Nice Home.

3.) That the puppy might have, for some reason, been euthanized rather than adopted out. I know this is unlikely, he was a healthy ten week old puppy that at least seemed to be purebred and very adoptable... But like shelters struggle so much to have room.

Anyway, that was my entirely too long vent post... I'm going to go play Ark now.

* She's full-on Qanon now and abandoned her children, one of which was still a minor and the other had multiple kids and a drug problem, to go live in a desert compound out west.