#even so I’m not going to attack people
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This might be a hot take on this website but
No matter your stance on syscourse, don’t harass people?? I feel like it’s a given but it’s so crazy scrolling down system tags and seeing systems being genuinely ableist to people
#syscourse#Winnie posting#is this controversial??#genuinely why don’t you just block and move on#my personal stance is it’s none of my buisness what goes on in your head#but having osddid comes with trauma#even so I’m not going to attack people#or be ableist by calling them delusional#or accusing them of pedophilia??? what???#why can’t we chill#the block button is tumblrs best feature#same with filtering tags#some people in syscourse genuinely look obsessive calm down
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
They’re both so out of it ��� It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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I’ll give you my heart if only you’ll eat.
I am not well about the imagery in the newest chapter. I guarantee I’ll be back with more art in a day or so. @cemeteryguy :))
#The Bizarre Diet of Marine Captain Koby#koby one piece#op koby#captain koby#one piece fic recs#op fanart#op coby#coby one piece#coby#straw hat crew#one piece strawhats#one piece#Printed out the chapter just to gnaw on it like a feral animal I’m so sane I swear don’t worry.#The characterization in this fic is top tier I can’t express even. Franky and Usopp and Zoro and FUUUUCCCKING SANJI!!#Don’t even get me started on Luffy and how much he just doesn’t give a shit about whatever the hell is happening as long as Koby eats.#it’s his love language. Giving and sharing food.#and Zoro!!#Did. Not. Give. One. Shit. ‘You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.’ HE CARES! SO MUCH! KOBY HE CARES ABOUT YOU ’:(#Zoro knew koby when he was yae high and was scared of Helmeppo of all people. He don’t give a shit. So you’re weird now. Get in line.#god I’m going to have a heart attack#tw gore#tw blood#tw death#TBDOMCK#straw hat luffy#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#luffy#one piece luffy#mugiwara no luffy
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replaying dragon age inquisition is just an exercise in “the rebel mages would not fucking do that”
#da#my posts#specifically the hostile ones hanging out in the hinterlands for no good reason.#at least they gave the crazy hostile templars a motivation. a really weak one but still. At least they have a goal.#‘kill at mages. don’t gaf about anyone else’ ok. fine.#‘kill everyone you see for some reason. we need to steal their belongings I guess????’ insane. what the hell.#the could have at least done some blood magic about it. it would have been a boring repeat of da2 themes but at least there would be themes?#it’s just so STUPID. especially coming off of a fresh da2 playthrough.#like there’s some dumb stuff in da2 to give you an excuse to fight both mages and templars as generic npcs don’t get me wrong.#but not this much. and unlike da2 you and your companions comment on it as if it makes any sort of sense lol#also I hate that they decided that the chantry explosion killed a bunch of people (which is not supported at all by either the environments#or dialogue of da2 btw. the game is mainly concerned about anders murdering elthina not randos lol)#but that will come in later.#anyway. every note I find in the game from the mages is so insane. just found the area where the templars burned down a house with mages#locked inside. but because both sides have to be bad for dai plot reasons#the mages killed the peasants that lived in the house for damn reason lmao. AFTER robbing them on the road earlier.#insane choices from the writing team on this one.#what were you trying to SAYYYY#like I’m ok with the mages being a bit brutal. that happens in war. but there’s like. reasons? usually?#like as much as orsino turning himself into a flesh beast is insane and weird both-sides-ism plot device.#at least they tried to give him a reason (even if it didn’t make sense in the context of hawke and co absolutely destroying the templars he#was so convinced were going to kill them all)#the hinterlands mages genuinely have no reason to attack random passersby.#ESPECIALLY SINCE IM PLAYING A MAGE.#like?????? hello I am one of you. how the hell do you even know I’m not one of the rebels.#sorry anyway I’m upsetti spaghetti.
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This isn’t what my blog is about and I usually try to avoid making post about things not related to the tv show fandom I’m in but someone needed to call this people out because going to this tag and seeing war everywhere is so tiring and exhausting so imma make this post and HOPEFULLY PEOPLE WILL READ AND LISTEN!!!!!!!!
Buddie shippers needs to seriously CALM DOWN:) and back off!!!! (This also applies to BUCKTOMMY shippers)
Going to the others tag just to HARASS and bully people over FICTIONAL characters is so ridiculous and stupid and people need to stop. It’s a TV SHOW!!!! YOU aren’t the ones writing this, the writes are and they’ll know how they want to finish THEIR story because that’s THEIR characters!!!! Not yours!!!!! People (both sides) need to stop harassing one another and just stay in your tag and enjoy the ship and the characters. There’s no need for hatred or war, especially since in the tv show all 3 are FRIENDS (so fighting about it is so???!!!) just stop. Y’all acting like babies, get some manners and learn how to respect each other preferences and continue enjoying yall ships in PEACE!
And please leave the actors alone as well, they’re just actors they cannot decide what they’ll do next seasons. There’s literally no reason to harass and bully people over people that doesn’t exist. Just enjoy the SHOW and enjoy the SHIP and LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE!!!!!!! And stop using the incorrect tag please, I know some yall are doing it on purpose but please stop that is so annoying. (And I know yall KNOW how that feels like so stop!)
#buddie#bucktommy#this is coming from a BUDDIE shipper btw#I prefer Eddie and buck together but like#that doesn’t mean imma go harass other people that don’t like them#this little war is stupid and childish :) just enjoy yall ship without attacking other people#what are y’all? 12? I know some of yall are adults do act like one#sorry if I sounded harsh I’m just so tired of seeing this in the ship tag#I just WANT TO ENJOY BUDDIE IN PEACE#STOP FIGHTING!!!!!!#this is so fucking annoying just leave people alone#let people enjoy their ship we all know that buddie is endgame#shhhh stop using THE WRONG TAG#buck and eddie#buck and tommy#tevan#eddie and buck#tommy and buck#also again sorry if I sounded rude not my intention#I come here in peace#this isn’t even what my blog is supposed to be about#so you know this shit got WORSE#if someone from another fandom is intervening
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Everyone go check out the arcane tag the lesbians are losing it
#incredibly valid of them btw#this is not an attack this is me nodding in sympathy#some of them are losing it because caitvi clearly goes on the rocks#some of them are losing it because vi has an emo pit fighter arc#and#I cannot stress this enough#she looks so cool doing it#face paint muscled k-o-ing men twice her size#like she’s clearly not emotionally healthy but she’s built and in black and has great hair#I cannot blame them even a little bit#I relate more to jinx but I think vi is so cool#also the more I watch clips of arcane the more I know I’m going to cry watching it#I’m going to need a month and a half to watch the season#current status#I don’t want people to perceive this post so I’m not tagging arcane#I just want the mutuals to know
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one small detail that stood out to me about this latest episode that i haven’t seen anyone else talking about yet is that when the commentators are calling colin “inspiring” and the “man of the match,” they are celebrating him not for actually scoring the goals himself, but for providing the crucial assists to make both of them happen. and i really love that because for me it’s the absolute perfect wrap to his character arc across all three seasons!
like, we know that colin’s job on this team has never been to score goals. in fact i’m pretty sure we’ve never heard about a single goal that he has scored. colin is and always has been a team player, not a star—and we’ve seen that crop up over and over. notably, we’ve seen the fact that he’s not entirely at peace with that crop up over and over: see the way he was affected by nate’s entire holidy-inn-painting monologue, being benched to make room for zava, etc.—like, this is the thing he’s sensitive about! this is where all of his insecurities come from!
but at the SAME TIME it’s also tied very intimately with all his struggles re: hiding his sexuality— “colin’s a chameleon,” etc. it’s fascinating because there’s SO much tension there between colin 1. feeling bad about the fact that he never stands out on the pitch the way some of his teammates do, because of who he is on the team, and 2. feeling like he CAN’T stand out, ever, because of Who He Is As A Person. etc. it’s like. he’s filling this role in the background. he’s afraid he’s not doing it well enough. he’s afraid that what and who he is isn’t good enough and isn’t worthy of recognition. he wishes he were someone different. trying to be someone different in the locker room is clearly making him so unhappy and stressed out. it is All Connected and my thoughts have been doing laps around it at an ever-increasing rate since i watched episode 2.07 ‘headspace’ if not before!
and all of this is why it’s so incredible to me that in the end, colin’s big moment comes from making assists and not goals! because on the one hand i understand the fandom desire for the colin post-coming out glowup that we all knew was coming—to see him, like, ~prove everybody wrong about him~ and inspire people by suddenly becoming a standout player and scoring goals left and right, even though that never used to be his role on the team before. and don’t get me wrong, i was 100% on board that train, and would have loved it for him if that was how it went down in the end, also. i think he should get to score here and there! as a treat! especially now that richmond are playing total football and there’s been so much emphasis placed on how it’s not just jamie/dani/occasionally sam who are making all the goals anymore!
but i don’t know! especially after the events of the last few episodes, there’s something very special to me about getting to see a colin who, rather than becoming someone entirely new in the moments right after coming out, just feels free to become, and be at peace with, the best version of the same self he’s always been. he’s still a team player first and foremost, but now that he’s not as weighed down by the need to chameleon/hide/pretend to be someone he’s not, he’s so much better at it. and everyone sees this! he gets to be celebrated for his contributions within the role he’s always played! he (and everybody else!) finally recognizes the value that he adds to the team just by being himself—fully himself! it resolves all the tension and insecurity that we’ve seen him struggling with this whole time, on every level. and so this moment was genuinely the perfect ending for his journey in my opinion—i’m so so happy that we were tall enough to join him on the ride here, and so excited to see what he does going forward these last few episodes now that some of that pressure is off him <3
#it's like. he doesn't want to be a spokesperson! he shouldn't have to End Homophobia by becoming zava 2.0! in fact it would not be possible#for him to do this even if he DID come out publicly and then became the best goal-scorer the league has ever seen because the people who are#the problem will ALWAYS manage to find something to attack him for no matter what he does#what's important to me and i think to him as well is that he has the confidence in himself that he needs to perform at his own personal best#and that his teammates recognize this and support him the same way he has always supported them both on and off the pitch#and while a part of me would have liked to see a public coming-out arc i completely get why they're not going there. it would be a lot to#tackle and this season is already getting justified criticism for spreading itself too thin#i think it would have been POSSIBLE to do and do well but. it would place a LOT of constraints on the entire rest of the plot#and i do recognize somewhere in the back of my brain that colin is not ACTUALLY the protagonist of this show for most people#so them choosing to take the character in the ‘i don’t want to be a spokesperson’ direction instead makes sense and was handled very well#anyway. one other reason i’m pleased about all of this is that while most of my recent tl fic is no longer canon-compliant as of this week.#i sure did NAIL the happy ending being an assist and not a scored goal. have been thinking these thoughts for WEEKS and i feel so vindicated#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes
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since it seems that you may have misunderstood/found incorrect information about the term "proship," i just wanted to offer a correction since you seem to have a large reach and i think it would be better if misinformation isn't spread
tl;dr: "proshipper" is not short for "problematic shipper"
it is "pro-" (support) vs "anti-" (against) and used to denote people who denounce harassment over fiction
"anti-shippers" claim that the "pro-" is short for "problematic" as a way to attack "proshippers" and their fictional tastes. in actuality, many "proshippers" do not enjoy "problematic" content or ship "problematic" ships; they simply support the right of others to enjoy whatever fictional relationships they prefer without casting moral judgement on them or harassing them
more details can be found here: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Anti-shipper
Peace & love on planet earth lmao I think we all need to leave each other alone!!!!
#& like go outside or something this feels sooooooo chronically online#I feel that I avoided this convo for so long by simply ignoring what other people said#@ the anon who said I was making fun of this person I’m not!! I’m saying it if terminally online to attack someone for what they ship#it’s quite frankly silly that this even exists bc we should leave each other alone & allow people to do their own thing!!
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh
#sorry people have been posting about how bad the ~discourse~ is#about everything under the sun#and I’m starting to think that people are really just classifying like#‘oh this guy has a different opinion than me’ as discourse#like. hm. here’s an example from the latest and greatest#some people think a certain ending for Astarion is better than the others#they are entitled to that opinion! you are entitled to dksageee!#nobody is attacking you for your preference#even if someone says on their blog ‘oh if you don’t put blorbo bleebus through the bingly bop ritual you’re not a real fan’ that’s still#not a personal attack! that’s just someone Having Thoughts on their own blog#sorry I’m just. sigh#you can’t post any analysis of the actual climactic event in dragon age 2 anymore without it being labeled discourse#and I think. here’s my contribution to the discourse#you all are so obsessed with Avoiding Discourse that you’re not letting yourself feel the joy of getting stupidly invested in media#anyway. aren’t you tired of being nice. don’t you wanna go apeshit#ugh sigh DISCLAIMER because this is tumblr and you have to over explain lest someone take you in the worst possible faith#I am WELL AWARE of people who do actually like attack people and make online space hell for the differing opinions#tis why I specified people talking about their takes *on their own blog*#I am also WELL AWARE of pervasive issues in fandom. namely racism. I’m talking about racism and looking directly at the way bg3 fandom#treats and talks about wyll. and the way they treat black fans who rightfully call that shit out#racism isn’t discourse. it’s racism#talking about racism isn’t discourse. don’t devalue the conversation like that#disclaimers over. I stand by what I said#this is a safe space to have opinions. even if I disagree. unless what you’re saying is really stupid#don’t fish for reasons to be a hater. haterism should come naturally or not at all#this has been a post
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jfc so @/omgthatdress made a post basically accusing all palstinian gfm asks of being bots, got a bunch of people in their notes explaining why that’s not only incredibly callous but also just flat out wrong and why, didn’t respond to almost any of it, then made a second post like a week later p much doubling down on that racist bullshit and basically calling all the people telling them off stupid like. badjokesbyjeff…..2! levels of fucking ignorance istg we can’t have shit on here
#I liked their stupid blog too I’m so disgusted by how fucking callously racist and ignorant some of these incredibly popular bloggers are#like 3k+ reblogs on that first post and replies filled with people giddily admitting to reporting every ask they get.#all because some holier than thou popular blog deemed an entire populace undergoing a fucking genocide as being fake#just genuinely so fucking frustrating. way to do the zionazi’s job for them dipshit.#a cattail tale#ik im late to noticing this I don’t actually follow that blog#but I happened across their bullshit post on a blog of some moron who was going back and forth arguing with a palstinian on their gfm post#like congrats! you have successfully convinced hordes of morons to hound even vetted fundraisers over their legitimacy!#over REPEATEDLY debunked and explained shit like why the organizer isn’t in fucking gaza. AGAIN.#sorry I’m just like this👌close to attacking people with fucking bricks it’s so unbelievable how some people act on here.#like this is some kinda fuckin cracker HOA or smth istg
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Again again thinking
#like am I asexual or do i just fear physical intimacy because of my assault#like I have desire I experience arousal#hell I fucking love smut#but whenever I’m with a girl#like going on dates recently and even with my exes#I haven’t actually felt physical attraction to them#and the couple of times I tried to ignore that and make out or have sex#I would freeze up and dissociate#or have a panic attack#or just physically feel nothing when being touched#it’s really confusing#because also the two times I’ve developed actual feelings for someone it’s only been after knowing them for 2+ years#and I’ve been physically attracted to those two people#so like okay I think the biggest most obvious issue here is that I have not been attracted to the people I’ve been intimate with#but I desire physical intimacy so I try to engage in it anyway#and then the ptsd enters the room and complicates things further#and this is why dating is so exhausting#because even people that say they want to take things slow don’t really fully get what I mean#but I also understand not wanting to continue getting to know someone that is not attracted to you when you went into this to#ostensibly form a relationship#what does annoy me is when they respond to my honesty about not being attracted with#‘I’d love to keep getting to know you as a friend’#and then never talk to me again#like come on please just be real with me#I desire intimacy but can’t mentally or physically do casual hookups#and at this point I think I might give up on dating because it’s actually so draining#I think the only way for me to meet a potential partner is to keep making new friends and see what happens#but I don’t have energy to do anything or go anywhere outside of work#so I guess I’ll just be a spinster with a diverse sex toy collection and a Zoloft prescription
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#having a time again#I fucking hate rsd#I hate just feeling the overwhelming urge to go scorched earth and abandon everyone and everything I’ve ever known#I thought I had it under control and it got triggered again recently#and it leaves me fucking exhausted and regretting all my life decisions in the end#hate fucking relapsing#hate being unable to read people’s minds#being built fucking Wrong#and having people hate me for reasons I’m not even Aware of because I can’t pick up on it and no one just fucking Talks#no one just Says when they’re bothered they let it fester and then it’s My fault#I didn’t Completely burn this bridge yet but god I am staring at it with a lighter and gasoline in hand#all that’s stopping me is that what I’m about to burn meant and still does mean a lot to me but#I can’t keep fucking doing this#it always ends like this#it never fucking changes and I don’t know why I bother I should stay in my little hole Alone where no one can hurt me#and I can’t accidentally hurt anyone else#idk man#having a fucking time#and maybe I shouldn’t even be Talking about it here#becuase who cares it’s social media#but if I don’t spill my guts Somewhere then I’ll fucking explode and cut ties with Everyone in my life at a trigger’s notice#and I need to pour this out somewhere Else#so I Don’t do something I know is Bad#in a moment of fucking rsd anxiety panic attack#lays down under my rock and dies#becomes a mushroom#if I’m a mushroom I’ll have no more problems#the mushroom hive mind will understand me and I will understand the mushroom hive mind
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I’ve made a short, tiny piece of criticism regarding fandom’s behavior of being super demanding and not engaging with the thing they demanded. But there’s something else that’s been bothering me for a while now…
This fandom feels very baby. In that way, I mean that it feels super young. So young, that certain popular people on Twitter who would have been called out for numerous counts of various flavors of poor behavior in other fandoms get strangely shared around a lot here. I don’t find much in the way of deeper analysis topics or video essays. Memes (that if I may be honest) have been used to death and beyond still get repeated— even when it’s completely unwarranted. The worse of the meme brain rot crossover with steep bigotry people tend to overwhelm and act incredibly disgusting in some corners of the fandom and on official posts.
Like with any thing or community or what have you, there’s people who seek engagement bait and spread negativity. I’m surprised at how successful it can be to do that in this fandom on Twitter. It creates such a rotten atmosphere. All in all, a lot of these things have been pushing me away from the community even though I only joined into this series in 2021. It feels like some kind of tide turned for the worse.
Yes, this fandom is in fact relatively new in a way. It’s existed for almost two decades but exploded some years ago with a continued high stream of sudden growth. But there are certain things that I’m still astonished by.
#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#like a dragon#I feel weird as it’s been a long time since I posted about grievances#last time I did so was when I was into Hetalia but things are just weird around here depending on where you’re at#I also have to dig my nails into my hands to stop myself from mentioning certain names#I don’t wish to start anything of course#some people just do too much#and I mean genuinely bad things such as leading attacks on others and chasing them out of the fandom and engaging with homophobia#also I’m not sorry but the ten years in the joint meme died a very long time ago please make it stop#this is an official warning I’m the fandom police actually I drew my badge with crayons#also also I’m just tired of watching people spread lies#there’s so many lies people do out of bad faith readings especially if it involves Yokoyama#and it doesn’t help that so much official info is in Japanese and will never be translated#I’m pretty sure I complained about that too before actually#anyway I’m always weary of sharing my feelings on fandom#the grand takeaway is to never interact with any fandom ever don’t even look at other people put yourself in a dark impenetrable dome thank#oh yeah there’s also the fun issue of people only focusing on the goofy side content and getting pissed the live action isn’t including#that but also simultaneously getting very angry that the pirate game has pirates (with no context so far)#I look in any angle and something head-splitting is going on
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#okay but being abused as a disabled person feels an extra layer of helpless#I’m stuck with my shit ass mother again and I’ve had two low episodes in the past year#she keeps threatening me over them#threatening to bring up a video she took of me against my consent years ago to throw at my doctors#and make them go after me for my episodes#im already furious at myself over my disabilities bc I struggle to even speak to people in a normal way#I just spill this mess at their feet and then continue to spill and it’s so stupid??#and. now she’s getting power over me again#it feels so ruinous#she’s attacked me every fucking time I lose consciousness around her#and she’s demanding my glucagon be a needle so she can stab me over it rather than spray powder up my nose#I cannot help what I do when blackout and seizing#I am scared and helpless and have no fucking control#she holds it against me the very few times it’s happen though#I’m so lightheaded and spinning out over it#I have to figure out how to find control over my health#over how I speak#I’m contemplating speech therapy or something when I get away from her again#but we’ll see#for now I gotta work on it on my own
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6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke…..
🏝️🤙🏄🏾♀️🏄🏼♂️💔
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &haven’t been able to listen to any of them sinc#I don’t even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#I’m so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#I’ve genuinely been in mourning#I’m not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#it’s so ridiculous how something that wasn’t even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but it’s true#my heart wouldn’t stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldn’t sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now I’ve mostly moved on to anger#I’m angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#I’m also angry because I’ve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that they’re over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#I’m crushed that I’ve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but it’s too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creatively…#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and it’s helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who don’t know wtf I’m talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#I’m not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#I’m still at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about this show or ship ever again… but yeah… I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
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