#even knives. millions knives. dude has them

[gayhoguns]

whenever i remember the gung ho guns i'm sent into a spiral bc of how the guy who plays the saxophone is literally called Midvalley The Hornfreak i literally can't stop thinking about it it takes over my entire brain

[akilikesbread]

quotes from watching trigun stampede with my friends so SPOILERS:

“Bro he even falls zestily” (in reference to wolfwood)

“oh cool flashback” “more like a VASHBACK am i right? ZINGER” “kys.”

“my lawyers have advised me to not discuss what i would do to his stupid fluffy blonde hair”

WW: “the big man upstairs made me strong” “The big man upstairs made me like people with wires and mandibles.”

*vashs arm gets sucked into a blackhole* “bro wtf, hollow purple”

“boy why you so 🪴”

“motherfucker so gay the cigarette bends the second it touches his mouth”

“this is just a documentary of california”

*BadLads gang shows up* “BL? Boys love? They kiss men?”

*Livio standing menacingly* “SANS???”

*in reference to eye of Michael* “Why’s their logo literally new mexico”

*Legato appearance* “blue hair AND PRONOUNS??” “whats with daman mills and voicing gay men”

*Woowoo getting tortured* “theyre injecting 🏳️‍🌈 into his bloodstream”

*First wolfwood appearance* “He better hit people with that fucking cross”

“he looks hot when hes troubled”

*In reference to Rosa* “If pregnant lady dies i’m leaving the call

“OH MY GOD HES REDPILLED.” “Vashed and redpilled”

“Tricum stampede”

*we were watching on an illegal site so it kept opening new tabs* “AHHHH PORN”

*wolfwood gets fucking bent in half by legato* “Bro where can i get a massage like that”

“Roberto looks like. hold on.” The image sent:

“if the animation was a person i’d make out with them sloppy style. with tongue.”

*in Rollo’s old town with the biblical radio shit* “Guys this sounds just like something my bus driver would say”

*zazie turns into a swarm* “would you still love me if i was a worm :(“

“vash’s mom is pretty” “i’m gonna stop you right there.”

*vash.* “LOOK AT HIS SLUTTY WAIST”

“yeah nai just really liked taking out arms this episode”

*knives playing the piano in the distance* “IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER😨😨😨”

EG Bomber: “MASTER KNIVES😈” my friend in the zestiest voice ever: “master😳”

Vash: *reloading* “THATS SO FUCKING HOOOOTTT” “i wish i was that gun.”

*wolfwood gets fucking run over* “i think hes my new favorite character”

*vash getting chased by the residents of jenora rock* “california has never looked livelier”

“Call me Millions Knives.” “edgy ass emo name, he sounds like hes a 13 year old emo who listens to panic at the disco and cries himself to sleep at night.”

“is this prophetic stress dream bothering you queen”

“i wish Californian sand looked as good here, dont eat the californian sand, its chunky”

*conrad appears* “LUIGI???”

“so this is julai…” “its still may dude, idk how to tell you this”

*Julai screenpan.* “THIS IS JUST VEGAS.”

*wolfwood and vash running away* “me when i skeddadle”

*vash gets shot and walks away* “bros like ‘damn i just got shot :(‘“

“Nicholas the Punisher.” “he can punish me if he wants I MEAN WHAAAAAT”

*That Roberto Scene™️* “*through tears* SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE SHOW?”

*Knives dramatically playing piano* “You and that fuckin church organ.”

“5gum stampede”

“Why is nai so jacked???” “theyre both built like brick shithouses”

*Meryl points a gun at conrad* “KILL YOURSELF OLD MAN.”

“WHYS NAI CLENCHING HIS ASS SO HARD…”

“Vash wake up!!” “THIS ISNT LIKE YOU POOKIE”

*Wolfwood steals one last cigarette from Roberto* “Rare cigarette that wasnt fucked up”

“WHO CUT THEIR HAIR.” “Xinqiu.” “Yelan ass haircuts.”

*talking about vash* “hes such a shonen protag. Food friendship and (avoiding) fighting”

“Knives, ur literally gay. i dont wanna hear it.”

“The entrance to the higher plane!” “it looks like a butthole.”

*Knives fucking just floating into the higher dimension* “*cackling*” “WHY HE SLIDE LIKE THAAAT” “stone scraping sound effect”

“Vash shouldve been called damian”

“Prepare mentally for episode twelve, take a deep breath, take a sip of water-“ “KISS A MAN” “DONT KISS A MAN” “KISS A MAN!!!”

*start of episode twelve.* “surely this wont be horrifying”

“I promise to protect you both.” “well you really sucked at that, huh.” “yeah fuck you rem” “HELP???”

*looks at Nai* “Whys he wearing a speedo…”

*Red geranium sprouts in tint Vash’s hand* “NAI LOOK DO YOU WANNA SEE A MAGIC TWICK”

*Running through field of red geraniums* “this reminds me of the angry birds logo”

“metal wing?” “its made of knives, yk, like his name :D” “shut up.” “alright then.”

*chanting* “CUBE!!!!”

“HES GONNA STAMPEDE!!!”

“kiss my vash!!”

[autisticlancemcclain]

any specific headcanons regarding lance and keith when they are on their first date? 👀

sorry that this ask is Eight Months Old, but yes actually!!!

- they don’t realise their first date is a first date. bc they are Doofuses

- the date in question is at the space mall for a supply run, where they were sent as punishment for being annoying and obnoxious

- since they are forbidden from reentering the castle for Five Business Hours (pidge proposed eight years, which they all seconded until keith winked at lance, mouthed “watch this”, and then sniffled about never being allowed to stay with a family for long after which they immediately relented), they decide to fuck around before getting any stuff they actually needed

- the first stop is at this space value village whereupon they immediately, without words, sprint off to find the most obnoxious and horrible outfit they can (heaven forbid they not compete about One Single Thing) (this is why they were banished) (lance won)

- they walk around a thousand other places. the mall is super crowded so at one point lance starts gripping keith’s jacket (bc he’s scrawny and at one point he got caught on the armour of a random stranger and literally got Hauled Up And Away before the stranger noticed 💀) and without thinking over time keith shifts so lance is holding the crook of his elbow and he just doesn’t let go

- neither of the dumbasses realise

- at one point they’re at this random trinket store, and lance gasps rly loud at something randomly and drags keith towards what ends up being some really fancy intricate and badass knives. keith gets rly super emotional and lance teases him about getting emotional over knives but the truth is that he got teary bc of just how excited lance was to show keith something he knew keith would like

- for lunch they go to the food court and sit in a booth and they sit pressed against each other and lance has his arm over the back of the booth and they literally split a meal and somehow Do Not Realise.

- they lose steam for shopping around hour four so they find a book store and lance finds a seat to chill with their stuff while keith zooms around and picks up a truly comical stack of books to come back and tell lance about

- lance stops at the cafe briefly to grab he and keith and drink and the barista smiles at him and is like hey your boyfriend is rly cute. and lance is like haha he’s not my —

- cue realisation.

- so of course he grabs their drinks in a panic and waves keith over and he’s like dude. we have an issue

- and he explains it and keith is like Oh My God We Just Went On A Date

- by then their five hours are up so they go home and they are like. SO awkward. to the point the team is like looking between them and is thinking ??? tf happened

- they are like this for Several Days. until keith finally cracks and says hey go out with me for real

- lance agrees obviously

- so they try to do a Real Date on the castle (they’re too embarrassed to let the team know so they hunker down in a random room & have a picnic basically it’s all very sweet) but the thing is. the thing is that now that they are Aware this is a date they have no idea how to act

- they’re all red and blushy and they can’t look each other in the eye and if they so much as brush hands they’re stammering out an apology and they aren’t even talking they’re just eating in the most awkward silence known to man and they’re both just mortified

- they’re so awkward around each other for like two weeks. because they both realise that they’ve fully had crushes on each other for god knows how long and every stupid competition has been them pulling pigtails and everytime they fight it just bleeds homoerotic tension and there’s a reason they’re all weird after sparring, huh, and a million other things that are so obvious to every other living being except Dumbass A and Dumbass B

- eventually, though, the tension starts to bleed away and it mellows back out to exactly as they were before, except now they make out and shit and it’s awesome

- thing is their brand of whipped loser is so normal for them that no one else like. knows they’re dating. they just think that the pining has been knocked up a peg

- they literally date for like years before everyone finds out, at which point they’ve been sharing a room and living out of each other’s pockets for longer than they haven’t

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Hi ! I just read the smart but a dumbass s/o and would like another part for the main 10, It was too funny for me

Let's go with opening a jar of jam this time.

Undertale Sans - ... That's twenty minutes now you're struggling with that jar of jam. He counted. He asked if you wanted help several times now, but you shook it off. So he's just staring. After another ten minutes, it starts to get boring so he discreetly uses blue magic to open the jar without you noticing. You let out a savage scream when you finally manage to open it, and scream at his face that you know you could do it alone. Yeah. Totally. Great job, buddy.

Undertale Papyrus - You try, he tried. You're both desperate now, pulling with all your hands at once on the damn thing to open it. Suddenly, Papyrus has a brilliant idea! He runs to his room and comes back with a giant bear trap. He puts the jar on the trap then slams it close. Good news, the jar is opened! Bad news, it's smashed in a million pieces and Papyrus's hand stayed in the trap because he forgot he had to take it out...

Underswap Sans - He looks at you in disbelief. "DUDE. FOLLOW THE ARROW ON THE LID." Oh. You turn the lid the other way around. It magically opens O: You're baffled.

Underswap Papyrus - It seems clear to him that you two have no other choice. You need to call delivery services for your breakfast. There's no way he's not having his jar of honey in hell, you're going to find a solution and quick or he will die. The delivery guy brings them... another jam of honey. Now Honey is on the ground, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Underfell Sans - Tch, it's because you're weak. Him strong boi. Give him the jar. He tries to open it for two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes... Then his face turns redder and redder until he explodes, throws the jar at full force on the floor and blasts it. No more jam, no more problems...

Underfell Papyrus - That's the five knives he broke on the lid. He got desperate so he called Undyne. Now he and her are hitting the jar with bones and spears, just screaming. It doesn't do anything. The jar is unbreakable. It's the worst enemy they ever had to fight. Defeated, they give you back the jar. You tried one more time, turning it the other way. It opens. ... Edge collapses on the floor and refuses to move ever again.

Horrortale Sans - He's so confused when you arrive in the room and asks for his axe. He trusts you so it gives it to you. You start to hit a poor jar of jam again and again and he's just staring, wondering if he's hallucinating again or not. He assumes he's hallucinating because what kind of idiot wouldn't know you have to turn the lid the other way to open it?

Horrortale Papyrus - He's so judging you. He tries to hide it, but his smile is weird. He's cringing so hard right now. Please let him help you. You hiss at him, covering your jar of jam like your life depends of it. .... Right. Clearly, you're distressed, and won't let him deal with this. He grabs a bone and knocks you out, opens the lid, and then puts it back in front of you like nothing happened.

Swapfell Sans - He's mad at you. You told him to use his claws to open the damn jar and he did. Now two of his claws are broken, and you still insist he uses the other ones. Nox is pissed off and hisses at you angrily, screaming that instead of eating that bullshit full of sugar you can go outside and pick a piece of fruit like a normal person.

Swapfell Papyrus - He is losing it. That's an hour you're screaming at him now, accusing him of gluing the lid to the jar and threatening him of sex abstinence if he doesn't open this shit. He's crying with laughter because he did nothing at all, and it's killing him how you're bad at it. Eventually, he takes pity on you and opens it. You scream back that you know it was open all this time, and throw the lid at his face when he starts cackling again.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He pretends he doesn't know you. He can't believe you can't even open a jar of ham. That's so cringe. You challenge him to do better if he knows so much. He takes it, opens it, and puts it back on the table, staring into your soul the whole time. .... You sit down and take your breakfast in complete silence after that.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - You struggle for ten minutes and ask him if he can open it. Coffee gives you the most distressed look ever. It's like you asked him to go fetch the Moon or something. Like it's his last day on Earth, he picks up the jar of jam and tries to open it. It doesn't work. That's way too much pressure and he bursts into panic tears two minutes after that. Wine thinks you're murdering his brother and comes running to end you, only to find two dumbass unable to open some jam. He's cringing so hard.

[doodleferp]

Question for the gods walk among us why do people fear Vash? What did he do to get the title dark god?

My friend, you are opening what Trixie Mattel would call "the Pandora Boxx of boxes". (cracks knuckles) Here we go. In this AU, Vash’s nicknames include The Humanoid Typhoon, The Dark Walker, and The Living End.

Since all the Plants are worshipped, Vash is no exception. However, since we have to adhere to canon, he is seen as a dark and/or chthonic god -- essentially all Four Horsemen rolled into one dude. The Stampede is seen as a harbinger of death, and if he shows up to your town, everything you know and love will be destroyed. But because Vash is Vash, the people of No Man's Land have unwittingly made someone's lie into truth by panicking and trying to fight him whenever he comes near a town. I want to think that because he isn't treated like the other Plants, Vash is considered low on power compared to the rest of his kin. And because the Plants are all generally kind entities, they call him to them whenever he's nearby so they can give him some of their own energy to heal him. While it heals him physically, it can only cause more damage to him since the townspeople believe The Stampede is here to kill the gods. I don't think the other Plants can travel, just because I wanna keep Vash and Knives as independents. If they can walk, I don't think they'd be able to go very far out of their oasis, either by their own will or by the people protecting them.

Speaking of Knives, he's much less genocidal in this AU! Because he believes that Plants are above humans, seeing humans so blatantly subservient to his species gives him a big ego boost. He sees humans doing all they can to keep Plants happy and healthy, and it makes him happy -- but he wants to keep things the way they are because he believes that if humans didn't deify Plants, they would abuse and work them to death. So he uses his own abilities and the Eye of Michael to further the illusion that Plants are gods. He's also the reason that there's so much hostility towards non-believers and followers of other religious movements. These groups run the risk of breaking his illusion and showing the "truth" about Plants, so he wants to get rid of them. Knives has a public figure as one of the rare Walking Gods, so he’s seen by humanity as something ethereal and they generally have a good opinion of him. He has his people at the Eye of Michael going behind peoples backs and trying to take out non-believers, though — like Wolfwood. The Eye of Michael is probably the biggest Plant sect on the planet and it has an astronomical amount of followers.

Meanwhile, Vash is much more withdrawn and lonely because he has to remain hidden at the cost of his own life at the very least. Like, the second someone thinks they saw The Dark Walker, it's sounding the sirens and sending everyone from the middle of town to the next three towns over into a massive panic, people get out guns and weapons and attacking anything that look suspicious. It’s to the point where Vash is used to sleeping out in the desert because there’s like a one in a million chance that he’d be able to sleep at the edge of a boonies town without being physically attacked. Nobody has any idea how it happened, not even him, but people are so viscerally terrified of Vash in a way that makes the canon look like a playground. There’s terrible stories about Vash that he doesn’t even remember happening to him, but he hears about them so much that he’s starting to accept them as truth. He's rarely able to let loose and let the adorable extroverted bbygirl in him come out to play and he’s just…resigned to his fate.

[multiverse-imagines]

Reverse Isekai AU headcanons: Tesla! (And some Knives too I guess)

Quick refresh: TriMax Knives, Streamer, lives like a hermit in the little apartment suite above the garage. Vash and Wolfwood are from Tri98.

Since Knives has his successful career as a streamer, the dude is loaded. When he's not giving to charities, he often helps with the ever expanding family your house seems to be amassing.

One person he's extremely particular about finding is Tesla, once she arrives. That's right, bby, we found Tesla!

You and Wolfwood decided to do some charity work at a local orphanage, (He misses his kiddos from the orphanage a lot) and she was fighting off one of the workers there, insisting she needed to leave. When you stopped her, she introduced herself as Tesla, the worker insisting her name was something else.

Tesla has been found on the orphanage doorstep as an infant, but only 2 years ago. She had grown to age 12ish since then, and after about a year and a half, she regained her memories of being on the Seed ships.

It's technically unclear if this is TriMax Tesla, or TriStamp Tesla, but to Knives, he doesn't care about such details. This is his older(?) Sister, and he's gonna give her the best life possible, now that Tesla was adopted, and she lives in the house with y'all.

Once Tesla got her name changed from the one given to her by the orphanage to her real name, she decided on taking the name Tesla Millions Saverem, sharing the same middle and last name as Vash.

Tesla is quite the active kid. Appearing the age of 12, she quickly wanted to become a part of public school life.

She maintains a high GPA, she has a few close friends, she's a state tennis and basketball champion, and she's the student council president.

She does, however, have a hard time making friends considering a lot of kids want to befriend her to get closer to Knives, aka Imperium the streamer. Although Knives constantly states he's not a kid friendly channel, it doesn't stop unsupervised middle schoolers from watching his streams.

Although Livio (TriMax) tends to be the one to pick her up from school, on occasion, Knives' White 1959 Chevy Impala Sport Coupe, with sky blue pinstripes, will sit outside the school, waiting to pick up Tesla. Most kids are too intimidated by Knives' resting bitch face to actually approach him. Some kids will be able to muster out a "I like your car, Mr. Imperium!" To which he then gives his charming smile, and thanks them.

Surprisingly enough, Knives originally didn't want to even have a car, because they pollute the planet, and it only keeps the Earth in decline, but after Wolfwood was watching YouTube videos about classic muscle cars, he knew he had to get his hands on one.

Knives and Wolfwood spend time in the garage together, working on their car and motorcycle, usually insulting each other in alphabetical order. Things like, "Ya know, Spoons, you're an absolute asshole." "That's rich, coming from my brother's bitch." And down the alphabet they go.

[azumasoroshi]

shizaya fights are cool

forever thinking about how fun shizuo and izaya's chase scenes are because they're always based on the environment <333 like fighting in a giant empty arena has always been meh to me i LOVE when fights incorporate the setting like the train/construction zone fights in shang-chi and any of gray's fights from weak hero and stuff like that

and the nature of shizaya's fights is literally them using every object in ikebukuro to try to kill each other with (including trucks) so of course there's a TON of environment interaction and even if it's not practical at all (shizuo probably could have killed izaya a million times over if he just punched him instead of...pressing his forehead against his???? or throwing the truck at him instead of backwards????) it's SO fun to watch

if i ever learn to animate properly id really wanna make another one of their chase scenes because explosions and fire laser beams are cool but vaulting off of sign posts stuck in the sides of buildings is even cooler

OR write about it in fanfiction, tbh shizaya fics skip over the fights too much or just have them running and cut to them being exhausted like MAN show your work give me the good shit or ill write it myself (that sounds like SO much more fun compared to writing 'he slashed the other's clothes with his sword, missing by a hare's breadth and scowling as the other rushed forward to compensate for his wavering balance" or something. maybe i tried too hard on that one but IDK I DONT LIKE WRITING FIGHT SCENES

they're generally really hard to not get repetitive for me but there'd be so much less repetition in a shizaya fight becase you're always moving and you can always throw new stuff into the equation so it's not just the same old movements over and over. and you can change locations too like what if they're fighting in an aquarium?? fucking uh oh dude

or like. them "trading weapons" would be fun, where shizuo starts throwing the knives he's acquired from izaya over the years/the ones he catches in his teeth and izaya like. im not sure what he would do but maybe shizuo launches a bunch of things at some ceiling panelling and they get stuck in it and izaya cuts them down and all the stuff falls on shizuo like stalectites and he has to run to get out from under it. that kind of stuff

i cant focus on anything else rn because i just watched this for like the seventh time this week and just hhHHHHH (it's mirrored but apparently it's from an ova so you can probably watch the whole unmirrored episode somewhere)

i love how ovas are usually for fanservice stuff and durarara fans' fanservice is full shizaya fight. they knew what we wanted and by god they delivered

[screechthemighty]

also classic and common millions knives L that he's trying so hard to ruin vash's faith in humanity as if in the two years since the fifth moon incident vash hasn't experienced

Meryl and Milly (no explanation required)

Lina, a preteen brave and kind enough to help a total stranger

Grandma Sheryl, who took in a total stranger without question or reservation (they! are! his!! family!!!)

The people on the Seeds ship continuing to treat him kindly even after a long absence

The son risking his life to save his mom (and his father, who gave them space at the hotel without question)

The father who couldn't bring himself to kill in cold blood, even though he had every reason to

Wolfwood's slowly surfacing true inner kindness (especially hilarious since Knives is LITERALLY the one who sent him to follow Vash around!!! Dumbass you sent your narrative foil and replacement RIGHT INTO YOUR BROTHER'S LIFE YOURSELF I'M HOWLING)

Like yes there's a lot of bad people but it's just wild how this dude is incapable of noticing the brilliant flashes of good in the world that have kept Vash going for over a century like...worstie yes your brother is severely mentally ill and has a lot of grief/guilt to work through surrounding Rem's death and how it affects his view of humanity but. There are other things keeping him going. You're just not paying attention.

[mateoangelortegarivera]

Mateo Angel Ortega Rivera, 32, Werewolf

Quick Facts:

A viral YouTuber from California, Mateo has been making videos for about ten years, his topics ranging from “I Rate Every Candy by Color” to “How Many Sweaters Can I Wear At One Time?” to his most popular series, “Mateo Unsolved,” which feature his various investigations into supernatural mysteries.

He is mostly interested in ghostly hauntings and cryptids and has been looking everywhere for Big Foot. Little did he know that werewolves are totally real. Woah. 

When he heard a rustling in the bushes the second he stepped into Lunar Cove, of course he had to follow it. And the thing bit him! Now why does he feel like howling at the full moon?

It’s all real! He can’t even vlog about this because of some stupid “accords” and a scary lady that told him no posting!

Just a super friendly, very high energy dude who loves everyone he meets and is a very good hype man! He would love to tell you how cool he thinks you are!

Does not drink alcohol or use any substances because his Body is a Temple, and he does Yoga in the park, but he promises not to tell you about how he’s a vegan...except ever since that bite he’s been really craving meat...

Obsessed with fashion. Unfortunately, it’s all bad fashion. Wears crocs unironically. Tends to wear see-through or cut-out shirts. 

Possible Connections:

Wolves! Pack buddies! Let’s practice howling!!

Anyone who has sense and might keep him from accidentally exposing the whole town and getting himself and everyone else killed in the process. 

On that note, someone who can teach him new habits that don’t involve social media, and who can fill the void left by the millions of fans he can’t tell about his new wolf skills. RIP. 

Someone who recognizes him or watched his videos? 

Anyone who wants to make stupid content with him. Since he can’t make videos about magic, he’ll need to keep making important content like “how many cherries can you catch in your mouth if i throw them at you while you’re blindfolded and hopping on one foot?” 

Full Bio Under the Cut

Mateo was the son of two doctors--a renowned heart surgeon and a pediatrician who had met in medical school and never looked back. They had hoped that their son would continue their legacy, eager to pass on their wisdom and to see their love of healing continue. And while Mateo dressed proudly as a doctor for every Halloween and certainly had a passion for healing, often running into their house with an injured bird or bug, begging his mothers to fix it, he never quite showed the aptitude for science that they had hoped. When Mateo brought home his first D in math, they tutored him night and day to help him catch up. However, Mateo’s mothers valued his happiness over his grades, so when he grew frustrated with all their extra lessons, when they saw him daydreaming and staring out the window when he was supposed to be studying Pre-Algebra, they eventually learned to change their vision of the future and support his interests--which seemed to be everything else.

One day, a dancer, the next a stand up comedian. Most of all, Mateo loved people. Always one to entertain a crowd, Mateo considered nearly everyone he met to be his friend--and meant it. He fell in love--both romantic and friendly--hard and fast, frequently declaring that he had met his soulmate, whether platonic or otherwise, only to be devastated when relationships fell through. Every birthday party, he invited the entire school, horrified at the idea of anyone being left out, and he was always the first to greet the new kid. No one was uncool or unpopular in Mateo’s book. And when it came to animals, he was just as open hearted, often smuggling animals home until his mothers eventually caught him and insisted he bring at least some back to the Humane Society, as their house was bursting at the seams.

After high school, Mateo got a job as a door-to-door salesman in a pyramid scheme for cooking knives before becoming a secretary at a dentist’s office. It was during this time that he began making YouTube videos. It began as a hobby, just something he did for fun, usually streaming his play-throughs of various video games or his rantings about various supposed hauntings in nearby towns. Then one day, one of his videos went viral, and suddenly people were begging for more. Even more surprisingly, sponsorships began to roll in, and before he knew it, he was making videos as a full-time career, sponsored by various companies to do everything from investigating a ‘haunting’ in an old farmhouse off the highway, to seeing how many peppers he could eat in one sitting at various degrees of spiciness.

The haunting videos were by far Mateo’s most popular, so he eventually packed up his things and took the show on the road, videotaping his journey as well as his ‘investigations’ into each notorious location. Along the way, he received a call from an old high school friend who had moved to Rhode Island years ago and had largely fell out of touch. Mateo agreed to meet up in a town he’d never heard of before, and after fighting with his GPS for several miles, he finally pulled into Lunar Cove on the night of a bright full moon. As he was looking for parking outside some place called Joe’s Pasta & Pizzeria, a growling in the bushes caught his attention and so, naturally, he’d started up his phone camera and filmed himself heading toward the dangerous noise.

The bite came quick, a blur of teeth and hair. His phone was knocked out of his hand, he hit the ground, someone howled, and then it was over. He watched as brown fur disappeared into the woods, and as he slowly sat up, he noticed that his phone screen had cracked before he noticed the bleeding mark on his forearm. Shrugging it off as a good story to tell--and vlog about--he’d gone ahead to dinner, showing his friend the gnarly bite before cleaning it up in the restaurant bathroom. When the pain came, he was sure it was food poisoning. Eventually his friend, who was familiar with the supernatural and who recognized the signs of a werewolf bite, confessed to him what happened and brought him back home with him to wait out the change.

Over the next few days, Mateo was given a crash course in all things supernatural, all the real parts he’d never once captured in any of his investigative videos. Now, his first full moon is approaching, and the supernatural is about to become far more than just a hobby.

[a-supernatural-writer]

My dude, a stressed kid with upcoming exams would appreciate a Poly lost boys with a scary ass grunge reader? Like I’m talking they hold a lighter to their tongue for fun, they carry around butterfly knives, they’ve got a warrant for their arrest in five states and pick fights with Surf Nazis and win- the boys have never been so intimidated. Pretty please?

Scary Grunge S/O

Poly Lost Boys x gender neutral reader

No problem! I hope you enjoy this and I wish you all the luck with your exams! ❤️❤️

Warnings: cursing

The boys having a scary ass grunge partner would 100% add some spice into their life. They were already intimidating but having you at their side increased their intimidation tenfold.

They thought they were tough, hello, that was thrown out the damn window the moment you told them that you have a warrant for your arrest in five different states and that's why you fled to Santa Carla. The most that they’ve ever been really “charged” with is being kicked off of the Boardwalk for the night. Well, that’s when they were caught doing something.

Of course they’d ask what you were charged for and grins would bloom on their faces at your words, finding it amusing that a human like you slipped through the authorities fingers like sand to avoid your charges.

Not even a couple weeks into your guys relationship, they revealed themselves to you, showing you that they were actually vampires. To say they were surprised at your reaction would be underselling it, they were shocked. You didn’t bat an eyelash when you saw them ripping apart their prey for the night. Blood spraying everywhere, limbs torn off, and then being thrown into a fire when done.

All you could do was grin at their vampire faces and comment on how cool they were. You never thought vampires could even exist and here you were dating four blood-sucking creatures of the night… it was awesome.

You always went with them when they fed. Watching from the trees or hell, even getting up close in the middle of the action which led to blood getting all over your clothing. You would just shrug and smile as your boys fed. You’ve seen some fucked up shit and this wasn’t even close to some of the things you’ve seen.

Pretty soon, you're not even seen apart from anyone of their sides. You officially moved with them in their cave and set up your own little next in one of the many hotel rooms that sunk into the earth. And with moving in, they began to learn and experience your habits.

You like holding a lighter to your tongue for fun? Honey, you got four very fascinated but worried boys on your hands. You’d just be lounging around in the cave, hanging out on one of the couches when the idea crosses your mind. You’ve done it a million times before, you just never did it in front of your boys.

The second you flick open your lighter and hold your tongue over the lit flame, it’s immediately snatched away from you by David’s hand. And the scolding commences. Of course you have to point out all the crazy shit they do and the stuff that you’ve done, what harm could a lighter do to your tongue. A lot, but who gives a shit? Certainly not you.

Reluctantly, David gives you back your lighter cause somehow you will find another one no matter how many times David takes it from you. From that point on, David will just shake his head at your action, but is also curious. He watches you as you test your luck with the lighter, always kind of on stand by just in case anything happens.

Dwayne is on the same level of David. Always hovering over you as you do this past time activity. He watches you not only for safety but out of fascination. If anything he’ll ask you questions; why do you do it? What’s so fun about it? How long have you been doing it? That kind of stuff.

He tries it a couple of times and hell, even got David to join in once or twice. But these two are the ones that wouldn’t join you most of the time. Yes, they are dead and technically it wouldn’t affect them greatly, but they just didn’t see the appeal as you did.

But Marko and Paul are 100% down with you. You wanna spend the next hour holding a lighter under our tongues and the first one to bow out buys dinner? Hell, yes! When they first see you playing with the lighter, they immediately start watching and giggle at how cool it was.

These boys are hoarders, and I mostly think that’s because of Marko and Paul, so you better believe that they are buying stealing cool lighters for you and you soon have a vast collection for whenever you finish one.

Your butterfly knives are also on the same level as you playing with your lighter, but they find it really impressive and you could do some actual damage to someone. They know that you could handle yourself and if anyone dared do something you didn’t like, it would end up with the other person getting hurt and you coming out of it without a scratch.

You take them out at random times if you're not fighting up against some surf nazis or anyone that wanted to put up a fight with you. Mostly it would be around the cave when you're bored is when you would pull one out and start doing random tricks with them that required very little effort for you.

Again, these boys are impressed at your knife skills, and also worried that you could possibly cut yourself by accident, but they trusted you from your years of experience with them.

When it comes to your knives, all of the boys want to learn some tricks. The ones that got it down are David and Paul. David always keeps the one that you picked out from your own collection in an inner pocket of his trench coat. He never really uses it for fighting, but he uses it like you. Takes it out randomly if he’s not doing anything or lost in thought.

Paul uses it like a fidget toy. You personally have to watch him like a hawk when he plays with his butterfly knife. He accidentally flung it in Dwayne’s direction one time when playing with it too much and from then on, you carried his along with yours. He would have to ask you for it if he ever felt the urge to do something with his hands. Expect a lot of requests to teach him new tricks.

Dwayne tried but this boy's hands are so big he kept on dropping it halfway through twirling the damn thing. It upset him a little that he couldn’t do it but he settled with watching you instead. He still has one on him, always trying when you aren't looking so that he could too, one day, at least pull off something similar to what you showed him.

Marko… don’t give Marko stabby or any pointy objects. He likes them a little too much. So much that it even made you lock up your entire collection so he wouldn’t take one. You had to scold him on numerous occasions that even though you did get into fights like him sometimes, you only pulled out your knife if it called for it. Marko was the opposite and wanted to pull it out for every fight he got in. You were thankful that you weren’t kicked off the Boardwalk because of his actions.

Speaking of fights. You were very much like Marko when it came down to it. But instead of waiting for a fight to present itself, if you felt like you were in the right mood, you would pick a fight with a group of surf nazis cause, why not? The night was young and no doubt your boyfriends would make them their next meal anyways so you decided to have a little fun.

When you got into the heat of your fights, it was very easy to tell from the outside that you enjoyed it a lot. There would always be a wide grin on your face as you gave one guy a black eye and another a punch to the nose, breaking it. You were violent and every single time, you would win. It didn’t matter how many there were, you’d be victorious.

It’s funny because that’s how the boys met you. They saw you coming out as the winner of your little brawl and wanted more than anything to get to know you. You kicked some surf nazis ass without getting thrown off the Boardwalk? You’re pretty cool in their book.

Aside from that, Marko would be the one to really get into fights with you. He would always say that you two were “partners in crimes”, which was very true, not just with Marko. If anything, it’s always Paul surprisingly trying to drag the two of you out of your violent tendencies. David and Dwayne… if you get them going, good luck with that. Not even Paul can stop them.

Overall, them having a scary, grunge partner adds even more excitement into their lives. You were always looking for action, which kept them on their toes. Always doing dangerous and reckless things that they would jump in on. All of that still continues when you decide to turn and become one of them.

When you turn you realize that you're practically dead and the stuff you did before can be even more fun. You take things further than what you could do as a human. You tested your limits and your boys were always with their badass partner every step of the way.

[caratmagic]

—jung wooyoung—

contains: arguing, pretty offensive words, explicit content

word count: 2.3k

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Enemy Territory 🌻chapter 4🌻

You hate that you find yourself dragging your feet slowly—yet quietly— to Wooyoung’s door. Hoping that the noises you hear from behind it aren’t those of pleasure.

There’s an exchange of them chatting, audible enough to hear but not enough to make out the words. As if snooping like this wasn’t enough, you press the shell of your ear against the door. Using the frame of it to steady your body from making any unnecessary movements or noise.

A rustle. Then several more. You think you hear the sheets move.

They’ve stopped talking.

More silence, then a loud thump onto the floor.

Your heart races out of your chest and you have a hard time picturing what could possibly be going on inside Wooyoung’s room.

Footsteps hurry to the door and before you could get more than halfway down the hall, Wooyoung’s body peeks out from behind his door.

“Snooping on me now?” He scoffs with that annoyingly charming sneer. “I thought we were supposed to stay out of each other’s business? Now look who’s breaking their own rules.”

You shut your eyes tightly while your back faces your ex.

Fuck.

A breath quickly fills your lungs as you turn around in efforts to compose your expressions. You’re somehow confused as to why he was suddenly wearing a shirt.

“I— I was just about to knock and ask you what type of meat you wanted to grill, you idiot.” Your mouth moves faster than your thoughts and you’re so glad that your brain was quick enough to pull something straight out of your ass. “I didn’t want to…  interrupt.”

Wooyoung holds the door open slightly for you to catch a small glimpse of the girl politely seated at the edge of his bed. Blinking curiously at you with a content smile on her face, although her tears still stain her cheeks. “It’s not even noon yet y/n, I’m smarter than that to start having rough sex knowing that you’re in the apartment.”

This thought somehow makes your stomach turn and not in a pleasant way. You didn't want to imagine Wooyoung like this with someone else. Yet, an image of him bare and in his sexual glory flashes across your mind and for a second you forget that you aren’t single. You forget that you have a neglectful boyfriend who likes to have sex with you once a week then proceeds to avoid you until the next weekend arrives.

Does Wooyoung have sex often when I’m not around? Did he have to use the word ‘rough’? Do they have rough sex together?—

Why was the thought of Wooyoung having sex with someone else more distressing to you than the entire problem of your boyfriend literally using you as a weekend booty call?

Not a single soul should know why, because the reality of it all is that: One, Wooyoung is single. And two, you are not.

So you had no right to be bothered about it.

Right?

“Uh. Right,” You subconsciously mess with the tips of your fingers to think of what to say next since you didn’t expect that his comment would throw your mind into a loop. “Just text me when you’ve, um, decided what you want. I’ll head to the store now since you’re busy… so you’ve got 20 minutes to make a choice.”

“No need to wait 20 minutes for me to text you, y/n,” Wooyoung slowly pulls his lips into a gentle smile. A smile that sets off a million bursts of fireworks through your chest. “You already know what kind of meat I like to grill.”

Instantly you blink away the feeling—or at least try to ignore it. “People change. Just wanted to ask in case you had a change in taste.”

Wooyoung presses his lips together before nodding his head slowly. Clearly catching your composure and deciding not to point it out due to the guest on his bed. “Uh, nope. My tastes are constant, y/n.”

The worst part of it all is, your conversation was being monitored by a ditsy flower, just waiting for Wooyoung to come back and take care of her… You hated it. Everything about this set up.

Now, heading out of the apartment to get groceries seemed like a much better idea to you than twiddling your thumbs to wait for Wooyoung’s pretty guest to leave.

“I’ll head out then.”

Upon grabbing your purse and your keys, you curse at yourself mentally for getting caught snooping. Even scolding your heart for causing your mind to lose control of your emotions.

************

It had only been half an hour since you left to get ingredients for the meal with Wooyoung, yet a familiar vehicle pulls into the apartment complex parking lot.

A few flights up and your boyfriend is back at the front of your door. Sure to himself that your car has left and that you’d be gone for a while.

San punches in the code of your apartment door. When it opens, a girl stands on the other side peering up at San with a shocked expression.

“Oh hey, It’s y/n boyfriend.” She smiles before turning to Wooyoung who, at the moment, keeps a straight face.

They had finally completed their 30 minute rant session, where she comes to him for help with her loneliness. Which was a topic to talk about for another time since Wooyoung felt like it wasn’t even his place to do it for her— also, considering he’s rejected her multiple times to be something more than her emotional support friend.

He never felt like a new relationship was something he needed.

As far as relationships are concerned, Wooyoung has enough on his plate to deal with considering the ugly truth he’s recently discovered. And of course, his unsettled feelings for his gorgeous ex.

“What are you doing back?” Wooyoung asks San, holding the door open for his emotionally unstable friend.

“Uh, coming to see my girlfriend??” San exchanges an offended glare at Wooyoung.

“Oh, I thought you already had your fill for her last night… What happened? Fell asleep before you could finish the job?” Wooyoung’s words are calm yet sharp like knives. Attacking San with precision as he tilts his head in accusation. “She’s out getting groceries.” He adds.

“You know,” San narrows his eyes, striding to level his face right in front of Wooyoung’s. “You have a lot of nerve thinking you can have any say in our relationship considering you’re her fucking ex.”

“We only broke up because I decided to switch colleges last minute without telling her.” Wooyoung doesn’t back down. He’s aware that his choice was the reason why the two of you broke up and that he should’ve told you sooner he wasn’t going to go to the same college as you guys had planned. “At least I never snuck out of bed after having sex with her.”

San scoffs at the gall. “Don’t act like you fucking know me.”

“I don’t.” Wooyoung shifts his weight and sticks his hands into his jean pockets. “But I know every part of y/n way better than you do. Every. Single. Part.”

San’s hand clenches into a fist and right before he draws it back to swing at Wooyoung. The girl awkwardly standing beside them in the threshold of the door raises her voice. “Hey, as much as I like the drama, I kind of have work so if I can just pass through…”

San doesn’t steer his eyes away from Wooyoung as he takes a step to the side for the girl to get around his body. Too peeved to realize that he was blocking the door.

“…I’ll see you later, Wooyoung. Thanks for helping me out again.” She waves before disappearing into the hall.

San huffs through his nose. It’s upsetting to him that Wooyoung doesn’t even seem the least bit affected by the situation. “Why aren’t you packing your shit? Isn’t this your last week?”

As if his train of thought derails, without even waiting for an answer to his own questions, San pushes past your ex and heads straight into your room.

Looking for what he left so recklessly before sneaking away that morning.

Wooyoung, with his hands still in his pockets, calmly follows San. Watching your boyfriend’s frantic search for whatever he’s misplaced.

Since Wooyoung respects your privacy, he stops right at the entrance of your room. “Did you wait for y/n to leave the apartment?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” San tosses a pillow off your bed. Not sparing a single glance at your ex.

“I don’t know,” Wooyoung leans against the door. “I mean, if I had something to hide, I guess I’d want to wait until she was gone too.”

San stops completely. His heart drops to his stomach when he turns to your ex standing in front of your room. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Wooyoung shrugs with a playful smirk etching onto his face as one of his hands pulls something out of his right pocket. “You tell me.”

There. What San was looking for.

His phone.

“Where did you find that!?” San yells as he practically dives for it.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Wooyoung shoves it back into his pocket. Placing his hand in front of himself defensively. “Question is, why are you so upset?”

San swallows and processes quickly before clearing his throat. He couldn’t understand why his palms were so sweaty. “It’s—Because it’s fucking mine! Hand it over!”

Wooyoung shakes his head, angling his body away from your boyfriend. “It can’t be yours.”

“Are you fucking mad?” San yells again. Smacking Wooyoung’s arm away from the position he’s guarding his pocket. “Of course, it is. It’s my phone!”

“No, no, no.” Wooyoung’s stupid, playful smile begins to boil hate into San’s veins. “This can’t be your phone.”

“I’ll drop kick that fucking smile off your face, you son of a bitch, give me back my phone!”

“Dude,” Wooyoung chuckles, loving how riled up your shitty boyfriend is getting. “I swear this phone has got to be someone else’s… because when I saw it on the couch, ringing at 4 am, someone named Eunji was calling to ask if her ‘daddy’ was still going to—and I’ll quote her on this, “Rearrange my guts like you always do on Saturday nights.” And you're telling me you’re certain that this is your phone?”

The reality settles into the air and San realizes that he’s been caught cheating on you… by your ex.

This is when Wooyoung’s twisted smirk turns into an angry scowl. He’s disgusted that you found a man so indisputably vile and unloyal.

“You really think you’ll get away with this? Lying to y/n like this and fucking her once every week just to make up for how shitty a person you are?”

San’s gaze falters to the floor and he snatches his phone from the unguarded pocket of Wooyoung’s jeans. “What are you gonna do, huh? Tattle-tail on me?” He shoves it into his back pocket, scoffing. “She’ll never believe you. She hates you.”

“Even if she does,” Wooyoung turns on his heels and enters into his room across the hall. “She’ll wish you were dead after figuring out that you leave her in the mornings just to be in some other woman’s bed the very same night.”

San follows Wooyoung a few steps into the hall. “You wouldn’t dare tell her.” He spits.

An exasperated sigh paired with the front door swinging open, startles the two men away from glaring at one another.

*********

After 30 minutes of shopping, you head home.

The entire time in the parking lot, you were gathering the courage to talk yourself into confidently walking back into your house. 

So what if he was having sex? You have sex all the time with San while Wooyoung stays in the room across the hall from yours.

How is coming back home knowing that he’s having fun with a woman be any different?

Equality at its best example for it. You remind yourself as you exit the elevator.

To your dismay, You were unpleasantly greeted by a very voluptuous woman with intruding questions as to why you were going to enter into her boyfriend’s home.

You push past the nuisance at your front door. Sighing as you lazily drop the groceries onto the floor.

You can only assume that this other girl— an entirely different girl compared to the one from this morning—is Wooyoung's little problem.

This boy must be cheating… What a waste. “Taste’s are constant” my ass.

You pray that Wooyoung’s ditsy girl toy from earlier this morning has left.  Though you liked witnessing drama, you didn’t want to see two girls fight over your ex. “Wooyoung? I think you have a guest.” You call out as you take off your shoes.

To your surprise, Your boyfriend is staring at you from the hallway— eyes wide and stunned.

Wooyoung steps out of his room to stand in the hall next to San. A flat smile sets on his features as he stares at you and eunji. “I won’t need to…” He seems to be talking to San when he speaks. “Next time, set a better password on your phone. You never know who’ll scroll through your messages and send people your girlfriend’s address.”

This confuses you. Immensely. More so, when San’s face drains of all color.

“Baby! Who the hell is this girl?” Miss voluptuous checks your shoulder as she rushes past you. Headed towards Wooyoung with her arms stretched out.

What rattles your world from it’s axis isn’t that Wooyoung doesn’t hold her, it’s that the girl doesn’t even look at him. She doesn’t even acknowledge that Wooyoung’s standing there.

Instead,

She’s all over your boyfriend. Calling him “baby’ and glaring at you as if you were nothing more than a disgusting insect.

No, no… I must be dreaming.

“Sannie, who the hell is this girl and why is she coming into your apartment?”

[ chapter 5 >> ] 

[honourablejester]

Shadow & Bone Reaction

Okay, so I watched Shadow & Bone last night. Stayed up until 5am to manage it, so this is going to be muddled, but howandever. Spoilery and involved first impressions from someone who has not read the books below:

Right, so the Ketterdam crew are my favourites. Obviously. This was guaranteed

All three of them, I cannot decide between them

Jesper is a gambling addict which does grind my miserly gears a bit, but he’s also lovely and adorable and quite possibly the most badass person on the show, which is an achievement, and his interactions with Inej are beyond adorable, so I love him with all my heart

That thing Inej said to Alina? Whenever you need it, my hand is yours? That is me for Inej. More on this later

Kaz is a vicious little gremlin of a man with a badly hidden streak of loyalty, and he’s exactly my stripe of guile antihero, so of course I adore him madly

The absolute chaos of them just ��� accidentally poking their oars into the entire rest of the plot is beautiful beyond belief. They’re just there and mucking things up for everybody like someone threw a bag of spanners into an engine, and it’s beautiful

I was surprisingly really on board for Mal and Alina. Particularly them as kids, this pair of tiny scrappers against the world

I also loved the whole First Army part at the beginning. Like, Mal’s pair of friends, Mikael and Dubrov, they’re adorable (and I fucking screamed later, with the machine gun, you bet), him and Alina in the camp, his friends teasing him about her, him stealing Grisha grapes for her. The show got right in on the friendship and the love there, and honestly I was there for it

The Darkling, on the other hand …

Right. So. I expected him to maybe be … more subtle than he was? I mean, I think everyone’s expecting him to go villain here, so it probably wasn’t supposed to be that subtle, but …

That moment where Alina decides to kiss him. After being separated from Mal, with no communication with her old life, and with Kirigan being all sad and incredibly intense at her at random moments. Like. Long, long before we get to his whole forcibly altering her body to control her moment, I was looking at her kissing this dude and going ‘Oookay, okay lady, that’s, that’s not a good plan. I get that it’s Ben Barnes, do not blame you there, but that’s so not a good plan’

He just kept coming on so fucking strong, you know? The whole intense ‘I’ve been waiting for you my whole life’. He was bleeding desperation and control from the get go. And like, lots of people have those in this show, but where someone like Kaz or Inej feel like ‘I will stab you in the face right fucking now to get out of this alive’, Kirigan is very much, yes, ‘I will swallow your entire city in darkness and give a nice little speech about it to captive dignitaries who I’ll then murder because they shouldn’t have opened their mouths’

There’s more power there than the others, I think, so it feels less like ‘I’ll do what I have to do’ and more ‘I’ll do what I want’

Which his backstory was an interesting show on, yes, how he started out just as desperate as any of them, and then vengeance and black magic ate him. As it does. But still. He comes on too strong

(And the collar. The collar. Not even the massacre later matched that one for me, though Genya’s casual mention of him ‘gifting’ her at 11 came close. But it didn’t match the collar for visceral no. He mutilated Alina to implant a control device within her body. He can die in a ditch with his head covered in pitch and set on fire now. I can’t with him. No)

So, yes. Excellent villain, definitely, I just expected him to maybe take a bit longer to show it?

His minions are adorable, though. The two married heartrenders, Genya and the Durast she has the biggest danged crush on (gotta say, when Kirigan said he needed him for later, I was honestly expecting him to kill him for something, to hurt Genya, did not expect David to be in on the whole mutilating control collar thing)

The show did a lot of work humanising the various factions, so when you get moments like Jesper vs Ivan, round 1, you don’t want either of them to lose, because Ivan has a husband to go back to, and Jesper is Jesper. And then Jesper can’t shoot a pretty man in the face, and we’re golden

(Sidenote one: that scene was badass, holy shit, Jesper was playing with him, it was incredible)

(Sidenote two: Jesper vs Ivan, round 2? Less sympathetic on Ivan’s part)

(Sidenote three: the Ketterdam three vs Kirigan’s everybody was just, god I love them, we’re going to be straight badass all down the line, can you beat a centuries-old shadow sorcerer with a flashbang? An inferni with a knife? A heartrender with a gun while playing with him the entire time? Come to Ketterdam and find out! I love them)

Now. Now. The main thing for me. Inej. Inej and Alina and Kaz

The scene in the Little Palace where Alina shows her power. Ignoring everything that promptly went tits up for everybody. The look on Inej’s face. The look on her face. Hope and faith. From Inej, who’s been so hurt and desperate so far. Oh, that killed me. So much. I was there like, Alina, Alina, it’s not your fault, but you better be worth it, I know you don’t need the pressure but if you have to let anyone down, let it not be Inej. Not her. And Kaz Brekker, you sociopathic mushroom, do not fuck this up for her. Okay? Not this

And then he doesn’t. He doesn’t. He gives up a million kruge and potentially everything he has so he doesn’t have to break Inej’s faith. I loved him there. Right there

And like, he was trying to weasel something out of it. He was still trying to bully Alina all the way to the end, even after she saved his life, because he didn’t want to lose everything, he wanted to have some way to be able to bring Jesper and Inej back with him, because otherwise he was walking back to a city that hated him with literally nothing, since he’d mortgaged the Crow Club on Inej’s debt, and she’d walked out on him anyway, and he’d let her. So he tried to bully Alina, tried to force some way to let Inej come back, without actually forcing Inej. Just, you know, the saint she loved instead, and a woman who’d also just lost everything, and maybe could have used those jewels to stay ahead of pursuit for a while, but that’s not his problem. That’s not his problem

Kaz Brekker is a vicious horrible gremlin of a man, but not to his own, mostly, as much as he can avoid it, and like … did they know in advance what I like? Because that was it

(Him entering the fight on the skiff solely to save the other two, everyone else can die, but he’s going to dive Jesper clear of the Cut and hammer a volcra’s head in to save an unarmed Inej, that was beautiful. Even if I was a tiny bit annoyed at Inej for panicking and throwing her weapons away while outnumbered by flying things. No. Keep them close to stab anything that comes near you, honey, don’t throw them into the darkness. But Kaz saving his Crows was beautiful)

Also, to go back to Inej and Alina, just a little. How much do I love that Inej’s knife saved them all? Inej kissed her knife and planted in the Darkling’s chest, and it did fuck all to him, but then it’s the knife Alina used to take her freedom back and save them all

Inej’s knife freed Alina. Gave a slave her freedom back. Gave her saint her power. Not by killing, but as a tool to break a chain. I can’t. I really, really can’t. Whoever wrote that episode, thank you a lot

You may have guessed, I have feelings about Inej, and Alina, and Kaz, and freedom, and faith, faith in another power and faith in yourself and those you trust, and it’s all tied up in a knife and a debt, and people offering freedom to each other against their own best interests, and I really can’t with them. I can’t. I’m inarticulate over here

Like, this beautiful man did this hideous thing, made this horrible vicious collar, and then all these scared, battered little outcasts and ex-slaves and current slaves gave each other tiny moment after tiny moment after tiny moment that allowed them all to free each other

I can’t

And then Alina gave Inej her knife. The little letter opener that she’d robbed from the Little Palace. The little symbol of two tiny orphans having each other’s backs against the world. Alina gave that back to Inej

Inej’s knives are a whole thing. Kaz gave Inej a job, a way out of slavery, and it’s both joy and horror to her, freedom and damnation, she doesn’t want to kill people but that’s what knives are for, and it’s a freedom she sometimes forces herself to surrender out of trust in Kaz, and then she does kill people, but it’s to save those she cares for, to save Kaz, and then her knife saves them all as a key, not a murder weapon, and Alina, for whom knives are also a symbol of protection, for herself and those she loves, and now freedom as well, gives Inej hers as this tiny gesture that means so much …

And earlier, Kaz stopping her from killing the Conductor, and it was for his own reasons, it was because he needed the man for a job, but the fact that he did that meant that Inej’s first kill wasn’t a murder, an assassination to save herself, but a clean kill in defense of someone else. A kill she could explain to her saints. Especially the one that showed up, because Alina knows all about that

(And when her knives run out, when she’s lost them all on the skiff and is facing death, it’s Kaz who saves her, who pays his debt and preserves her freedom, because he can be trusted with them, with the knives and all they mean …)

And the two things Alina gives them. The knife for Inej, and the jewels for Kaz. A gift for the woman who saved her, and a bribe for the man who threatened her. And it’s exactly what they need. Both of them. It’s freedom and forgiveness and hope for them both. And she had no idea, she just gave what she had at the time. A saint by pure accident, like she’s been all along, but it meant the world. Sometimes all a person needs is one thing. A knife, a chance. A hope

Whoever was writing the thing with the knives, and the saints, and faith in yourself and those around you, you are a genius and I love you

And, like, I should move on. There were other things in the show. Nina and Matthias, I’ve pretty much not mentioned them at all (they are adorable, even as they’re basically Stockholming each other, and then the last episode hit, and everything was good, more or less, for everyone else, so that last fucking punch was a lot, thank you so much), I just …

Knives and faith. Inej, Alina and Kaz. I love everybody, but that was so much the thing that caught me here. That’s what I’m mostly getting out of this show right now

[wander-wren]

let me go through this one line by line rq. i did talk more about wolfwood and rollo in a different branch of this post, but it was less well-written/thought out bc i did it more on the fly so let’s not worry too much about it. also, disclaimer, i love all of these guys, especially vash, and that’s why i’m being a little mean to him right now. dude’s complicated. ALSO this is only based on stampede, i do not know enough about the original story yet to comment.

i will also acknowledge that this steps pretty close to some real-world issues/debates/etc that are very important to me, so i care perhaps more than i should.

anyway! let’s break this down.

“rollo didnt want to die though. yeah i know wolfwood says it was mercy. wolfwood is projecting”

maybe, and also yes. crucially, we don’t KNOW what rollo wants. wolfwood IS projecting onto him, but equally vash is imposing what he wants, not what rollo wants, because rollo literally does not speak except to say vash’s name and once, his own. his younger self seems pretty attached to the idea of living, yes, but it’s been more than a decade since then (i’m not sure how old rollo is meant to be, but i wouldn’t say more than 8).

he has been modified and turned into a monster, he apparently drove out or killed his entire town, and it’s unclear if he’s been isolated in the village for a while or if he only arrived recently—my headcanon is the former, especially since the success of wolfwood, livio, and elendira would’ve rendered him an outdated model, but they could have still used him. regardless, he’s hardly living a normal or happy life. given his limited speech, it’s not even clear if he has the same level of cognitive function he used to—he definitely doesn’t have the education or socialization of you average 20-year-old.

i’m not advocating for killing rollo at all. i’m just saying we don’t KNOW what he wants. in an ideal world he would have been taken somewhere safe, treated like a person, and made as comfortable as possible while they worked out how to communicate with him and figure out what he actually wants. but they do not have the resources or the time for that, wolfwood and vash are both very biased, and rollo is semi-invulnerable and trying really hard to kill them.

i’m not really sure there’s another way for that story to end, honestly. and that’s the tragedy of it.

“i do agree vash does impose his will on other people, to a degree that’s not a million miles off from knives’s bullshit. and yes vash is also a hypocrite - he can forgive anyone but himself.”

cool! 👍 again, i’m not saying vash is bad and evil, or even that he’s not good. he’s just a guy with 150 years of trauma doing his best, but the thing about unresolved trauma is you don’t always make the best decisions.

“but vash does not want to use people. he wants them to have autonomy so they can choose for the better. and death is a denial of autonomy.”

okay, this is the one where i’m a little less nice. i agree that vash doesn’t consciously want to use people, objectify them, put his needs above theirs—that’s his brother’s deal. i do, however, think he’s so desperate to not have anymore blood on his hands that he is willing to “use” people to get to that end, and he isn’t even aware of that. hurt people do this all the time, when their pain and fear and suffering is so great that all they can focus on is trying to mitigate it, and they completely steamroll “the right thing to do.”

we haven’t seen vash do this yet, really, at least in stampede. i’m being purely hypothetical. i’m saying i see this instinct in him, in his actions, and it only hasn’t happened yet because this is a fictional story and he’s the protagonist and there isn’t really time to explore this yet. vash is also very willing to use himself, his health, and his wellbeing in the exact same way, which also separates him from knives.

i agree that vash wants people to have autonomy. sort of. he never says this that i remember, he’s a lot more focused on their right to be alive (also very necessary), but it’s in line with his belief system so yeah, for sure.

here’s the thing, though: so they can choose for the better? where is this coming from? the only thing i can think of is luida and the “flora” project, but it’s meryl and roberto who learn about that. vash presumably knows, but i don’t think he ever mentions it. meryl is the one who argues (with zazie and conrad) that humanity can be better, with time.

vash doesn’t want people to be free and safe so they can choose to be better. he wants people to be free and safe because they are people. and also because he can’t stand the idea of having more blood on his hands. he also does want them to be better, true (see: nebraska, rollo, nai, wolfwood), but that’s not his primary motive.

because really, “better?” who is vash, who are any of us, to decide what’s “better,” or that the only people who deserve to live are those who are working towards it? vash’s whole fuckin’ deal is that he doesn’t kill anyone, no matter how bad they are. he’s not out here weighing their goddamn ability to redeem themselves. ironically, this is a deeply (culturally) christian way of thinking, in a story where vash is allegory jesus, one of the most misinterpreted guys of all time.

finally, death as a denial of autonomy? mm, no. here’s the thing about autonomy: it allows people to do “bad things” to themselves. assisted suicide, regular suicide—that is autonomy at work. keeping someone alive against their will is a denial of autonomy. that’s not to say you shouldn’t try to help a suicidal person, because damn, please do that, but also: people have just as much a right to die as a right to live.

we’re not even talking about vash anymore, i got sidetracked. my point here is that we never actually see vash in this situation, due to the nature of the story. we never see him forcing someone to be alive that no longer wants to, etc (except himself, potentially). what i’m saying is, based on what we are shown, i think there’s a good chance he would in the right circumstances.

vash is a good guy. he’s not out here running around thinking that other people’s wants and needs are less than his own. but he’s got a big gaping hole in him and he’s very good at justifying the ways he tries to fill it. just because it hasn’t gone badly so far doesn’t mean it can’t in the future.

was talking last night about nai’s obsessive tendencies and the way he views everyone, even vash and tesla, as an object. he keeps tesla alive, in pieces, immediately after the fall and presumably for the next 150 years given all the technology he has, despite the fact that killing her would be kinder, just because he wants her. he nearly leaves vash a hollow shell of a creature just because he would rather that than a vash he can’t keep close.

he’s selfish and cruel and so isolated from the world that what he wants is more important than what anyone else wants.

but also…

vash has a little bit of that tendency in him, too. we saw it with rollo especially, and a bit with livio and the sand steamer—though those ones worked out for him in the end. vash is so full of guilt over the idea of killing anyone, even indirectly, that he will keep them alive to spare himself the grief.

and that’s a nobler pursuit, and i think a lot of people also instinctively don’t want to think about death being a mercy sometimes, but it’s still going to get vash in trouble if it hasn’t already in the last century.

i think it’s interesting, too, in light of the fact that vash himself is sort of passively suicidal at times. he’s pretty close to immortal, but he has no sense of care for his own wellbeing. vash doesn’t believe he deserves to live, but i don’t think he believes he deserves to die yet, either. which implies a double standard in his belief system—death is too good for him, but a tragedy for other people.

“an independent must fix what an independent has done. this is my atonement.”

[kavikaslana]

Part 1

Shigaraki

Definitely jealous

He’s the clingy brat, so just imagine getting a s/o while he’s around

He’s gonna make it real clear that you’re not their lover, you’re just their really good friend

^ He tells himself that

Dude’s even more protective of you

He’s clingy in the same way a kid is

^ Imagine having a 4 or 5 year old kid that got at least most of your attention with your new lover

\Yeah, that’s the type of pain in the ass he is

Wouldn’t be surprised if he just picks you up and walks away from them

It’s more of like a game for him than anything, because now his goal is really just to piss them off

^ Or get all your affection, either one

^ Probably both actually

He’s a little spoiled brat so don’t expect him to share, that’s basically the only thing you really need to know

Death threats, arguments, fighting, you name it, it’s all going to happen sooner or later

Dabi

He’s not too bad actually

Just expect a lot more teasing from him

^ You might get hit on once or twice too

Very few negative interactions with your lover for an extremely long time

That doesn’t mean they’re positive though, it’s usually really awkward conversation

But for the most part, he’s fine with it

As long as he still gets a drink with you every once in a while, he’s perfectly fine

Probably runs off with them at least once to burn down the nearest GameStop to piss off Shig

^ That’s his way to bond with them at this point

Your room might as well be his now too

^ He’s either in there with you, your lover, or snooping around

He will still hog you to himself after a mission to treat any new wounds or burns, that’s never gonna change

^ Your lover’s just gonna have to learn to deal with it

Probably starts arguing with them more when he actually notices he has less time with you, but not nearly as extreme as Shigaraki is

Magne

Probably one of the first ones to try and befriend them

She doesn’t have an opinion on them really, if you ask she’ll say they’re alright and that’s it

They get along enough to share your time at least

She keeps to herself around them for a long time, really only getting in their business if it involves something negative about you

Eventually she at least gets to the point with them where she’ll willingly start long conversations with them

Every once in a while if Toga has extra face masks or whatever kind of skincare routine you guys are doing, she’ll ask them if they want to join

She supports it but she could care less if they were there or not, I’ll be honest

^ As long as they make you happy, she’s fine with it though

All in all, she’s pretty neutral

Toga

She’s pretty excited actually

Just a new person to spice up her day as far as she’s concerned

Definitely the friendliest out of everyone, except Kurogiri

She likes showing off her knives to them and how her quirk works

They’ve played a few games together, not very many, but enough that they know how the other plays

She’s the most supportive of your relationship

^ Every day there seems to be a new rant about how cute you guys are attached to your door

She’s not jealous at all really, it’s very rare that she’ll get jealous

^ It’s rare, but if her day’s already been bad and she can’t spend time with you or vent, she’ll probably threaten to rip out their spine

Always offers to help them whenever they’re doing anything

Sometimes she goes on walks with you two, and Magne if she’s up for it

She’s tried to give you guys a ship name before, but she couldn’t decide on one

Spinner

He could care less

Just don’t be too loud when he’s trying to relax, and he’s ok

^ Then again, Toga’s already loud, and Shigaraki’s tantrums don’t help, so he probably wouldn’t notice after all

He does his best to stay away from them because he’s nervous

^ And scared they’ll judge him

If you really want them to meet each other, then you’ve gotta be the one to introduce them

He’s not really talkative, so if you’re trying to get them to bond, have them ask each other yes or no questions

^ Or card games

Probably interacts with you less because they’re seemingly always there whenever he wants to tell you something

Kurogiri

He’s a little annoyed at first because they just made dealing with Shigaraki a bigger pain

But they make you happy, so he lets it slide

Drinks together are a must

Maybe a smoke too, but he’s not a smoker, so just drinks for him

^ He’ll still go outside with you or your lover just to keep you guys company though

Tries his best to get to know them, but he always comes off as serious and ends up scaring them a bit

He’s probably yelled at them once or twice because they started arguing with Shigaraki

^ Shigaraki’s also tried to get him to throw them out so it’s not all their fault

He’s either found doing chores, calming down Shig, or replacing anything the brat decayed

^ His schedule barely changed honestly

Twice

He needs a bit of encouragement at first, but eventually he’ll talk to them

When he talks, he’s always next to you, and he only talks for a minute or two

^ So just long enough to know their name and age pretty much

When Toga goes up to them, he’ll sometimes follow her

He does try to know them better for your sake, but he’s nervous so he needs the extra encouragement

He likes joining you guys and Kurogiri for drinks and/or smoke breaks

Every once in a while, he’ll help them with something small or ask how you two met

^ He’ll ask how you two met a million times, and yet every time you tell him, he always seems as interested as the first time

Just be patient with him and they’ll eventually get to a point where he’s somewhat comfortable around them

Mr. Compress

He’s annoyed too for a while

He’ll be stubborn with them just so they go away and leave him alone

Tell him something they have a common interest in, and he might talk to them about it

He helps them pick small gifts for you, like snacks

Not the biggest fan of them, but he’ll help them if they ask nicely

Suddenly becomes protective of you

^ If they even say your name, he’s already behind them, just to make sure they weren’t talking shit about you

He doesn’t mind having conversations with them, but the second they say anything even slightly insulting about anyone in the league, they’re getting at least a few bruises

^ He won’t listen to their vents too, he doesn’t care, but he’ll listen to yours

If you complain about them at all, he’ll suggest you break up with them like Shigaraki

He brings you small items like rings or your favorite drink just to annoy them

@undefined--person

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[clonewarslover55]

Nulls with kids Nulls with kids Nulls with kids

I did headcanons because I had too many drabble ideas! I did headcanons for each Null and how they are with kids separately. Hope that’s okay! 

The Null’s with kids Headcanons 

Prudii 

This man is so polite and patient 

Like he never gets mad or irritated with his kids. Never. 

Prudii doesn’t want them to have trauma 

So he’s great with kids! Especially ones with ADHD, Autism, disabilities, etc 

Seriously the best dad. He is always prepared 

Prudii thinks ahead, like the rest, so he is actually prepared when he says he is 

He also always has snacks. For him and the wee ones

Prudii is the outsider of the Null’s, so becoming a father would heal his heart some

The kid will end up super cuddly because Prudii is always holding them as a baby 

Like he needs the baby cuddles!!! 

Prudii isn’t scared to hold the newborn. Give him baby. 

He’ll want a lot of kids and a lot of pets. Your house will never not be crowded 

Spoils the hell out of his kids, but also knows when to say no 

Has pictures of every accomplishment and thing the kids have ever done 

Prudii is a good and proud papa!! 

Has a space wallet full of a million pictures of each little one of all ages 

Tells them cool stories 

A’den

Type of dude to be afraid of babies 

Once you two adopt or have your own he’s like, “Oh…” 

Realizes they’re not that terrifying

Still scared to hold them at first because they’re so T I N Y 

Loves his kid at first sight!

Cries probably 

A’den is a really good dad!! 

Similar to Prudii in the whole spoils the kid but still knows “no” 

Will 100% play dress up with his kid and do all of that 

Steals Buys stuff for his kids 

Brags constantly about how fucking cute his kid is 

“They make puppies look ugly!!!” Like he never shuts up about it 

He’s just so proud!!

Always has a baggie of Cheerios even once the kid is like a teenager 

Brings back cool rocks to the little ones from his missions

Because he doesn’t know much about kids 

Plus who doesn’t love rocks??

Jaing 

Has never heard the word “No” like ever 

Spoils the fuck outta the little ones 

Knows nothing. He’s a himbo like the rest 

You’ll have to educate him on babies and kids 

Jaing is a good dad though!!! 

Panics over small things like hiccups though

When the kid does anything, not even an accomplishment, he praises them 

Constant praise and such for his angels!!! 

“Jaing they need to learn to walk.” “But I wanna hold them forever!” 

Cries as his babies grow up 

Teaches them bad things at an early age 

!Knives!

Always up for playing dress up and such 

Wears his earrings like an idiot and the kids GRAB 

Ordo 

Awkward as FUCK 

Like you’ll have to help him some 

Has read everything there is available about kids 

Still panics

Overprepared 

Ordo is a good dad after a few months of him being pure anxiety 

Just support his awkward ass and it will all be okay 

Gives his kids whatever you say is okay to give them 

Spoils them in his own way! Mostly with stories and education 

Ordo is probably the worst with kids, just because of how uptight and easily irritable he is 

He tries the hardest though 

Isn’t the best at dress up, but his bros teach him the way 

Ordo is better with babies than other ages 

Overprotective no matter what 

Proud as fuck but doesn’t brag about it 

Has a million photos and videos of his kids though 

“Ordo what is that?” “A smoothie” 

Help him 

Mereel 

Seems like he doesn’t want kids and isn’t good with them 

But once you guys have a kid he is immediately “MY ANGEL!!!” 

Loves his kid at first sight as well 

“Mereel can I hold them?” Sad eyes, “Five more minutes??” 

Never says no. You have to be the strict one 

Doesn’t say; “Go ask your mother.” Just gives the kid what they’re asking for 

Spoils the kids with everything 

Also teaches them bad things 

Curse words. Soooo many curse words 

Good luck for you. Now you have Mereel and someone nearly as immature 

Mereel is always playing games with the kids 

“BABE LOOK WHAT THEY JUST DID!!” 

Brags constantly about his little ones 

Calls other babies ugly because his are the only cute ones 

Always has snacks, doesn’t share them 

Kom’rk 

Begs for kids 

He’s always wanted to be a dad 

Kom’rk is an amazing dad actually!! 

Similar to Prudii in a lot of ways 

Always holding his kids, no matter the age 

Shows everyone his baby like a proud dog dad 

Is basically a proud dog dad 

“LOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”

That’s him

Argues with Mereel and A’den over who has the cutest kids 

Also cries as his babies grow up 

Probably more emotional than the person who births the kid 

He spoils his kids, but he knows when to say no 

Teaches his kids how to be smarter than his brothers kids 

Wants a lot of kids 

Good luck, seriously 

Will take the kids side over yours because they’re his baby!

Kom’rk will call his kids out though. He knows they can do things wrong 

So he educates them! 

Never gets mad 

Tags: @leias-left-hair-bun @ollovaemisc @cherry-cokes-world @iamassbuttkingofhell @catsnkooks @mxndalorians @colorfulloverbatturkey @ahsokatano-thetogruta @peacefulwizardfox @jedi-mando @julyzaa @strangebroadwaykinks @feathersforclones @chr0nicbackpain @jedi-nila-rhyn @fyrepen33 @mistflyer1102 @kamino-mermaid @commanderrivercc-3628 @ct7567329