#even just as friends and not whatever the fuck we ended up being.
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(Itâs all Danny and Lancer with the Waynes crack) (probably)
New rare pare just dropped??? Why do I kinda love Bruce/lancer
what is Mr lancers first name?? *one google search later* we donât know but it starts with an L :/
I dub thee: Lucas
Lucas âLukeâ Lancer (hell yeah, alliteration!)
So anyway Tim and Danny meet and are suspicious of each others odd behavior but ultimately end up with a more or less âI donât ask questions about where you sneak off to and your spontaneously unimportant injuries and you donât ask about me and mine yeah? Alr.â Type relationship, and actually hang out a lot.
The first few times Tim asked Danny about that Danny would always say that âyou havenât unlocked enough of my backstoryâ and move on. Tim doesnât like this but he gave up on trying because he cant find anything weird about his paper trail and Dannyâs a chill guy so itâs probably fine, I mean it not like heâs a vigilante right?
In the show his top speed was 112 mph so ima say he keeps improving his speed as he goes back n forth from Gotham to amity because letâs be so fr Valarie is handling most of the ghosts but there are some nights where it gets too much and she hast to call in backup, and by some nights I mean twice a month at least. What can I say? Amity park ghosts are mean and donât care about your education
After Jason gets back whatever plot shenanigans you want make it so that lancer is checking up on Danny at the same time Jason has to pick up Tim for whatever and Jason recognizes Lucas but he doesnât recognize jay yet (he will later), see where Iâm going with this? Ok so they get talking (the literature nerds) and Jason decides to double down on shipping Luke with Bruce. Bruce could seriously use the normal and positive influence and hey heâs good with kids so why not? Itâll be funny!
How could he do this the most efficiently, effectively and flamboyantly?? A gala probably, but first Bruce and lancer need to be to the level of friends where they would interact/maybe even seek each other out at a high society event, so *sigh* I guess heâs going to have to invite Danny and lancer to a family dinner or something, but heâs not close enough to either of them do do that without it being weird! His whole plan is falling apart!
Oh Timmy!!!!!~~ has Jason ever mentioned that your his favorite brother?? and heâll give you his desert at the monthly family dinners for three months if you do this one little thing for him?
So Danny ends up being invited to a Wayne dinner and oh Mr. Lancer you come in too, you came all this way, we insist! (He realizes Jason is Jason Wayne at the dinner btw)
Tim is floundering around Danny because this is the first time Danny looks well rested and with actually styled but also messy hair and what the fuck thatâs his roommate! He has no right to look this cute! Tim can see his freckles instead of the ever-present eye-bags and-! wait what why is his heart beating so fast, heâs been trained by the bat! A cute boy should not be able to affect him as much as it is. He need to do some more heart rate exercises because why is Danny so cute all of a sudden and maybe itâs one of his meta powers? No theyâre roommates, they live together, he wouldâve noticed, and now heâs spiraling but he canât really stop and-
Bruce is similarly struggling but he can deal with it by being such a clueless bimbo and tired dad because why are so many of his kids here? Itâs not even the monthly dinner yet? Is it because of Danny and Lucas? It probably is, he should invite them over more, jay is here and talking passionately about whatever lit thing with Lucas and he will totally invite Luke over more, I mean see how much he cares about his kids? Gah heâs just so perfect- wait what?
DCxDP: The Roomate
Despite all their madness, it's no secret in Amity Park that the Fentons are certified geniuses. When Maddie and Jack Fenton first move to town, they are all anyone can talk about.
Maddie was well known among women because, at the time, women in STEM were rare, and it was even rarer for them to actually gain recognition for their efforts. Her work, confusing to most of the public, meant a lot to the women in Amity Park.
Before she arrived, she had been featured in three separate magazines: one for science, another for sponsoring a scholarship for STEM women, and the last for her inventions of self-defense accessories to arm young women. Yes, most didn't know about her until they learned that she was moving into their small town, but that was beside the point.
Her husband was a little less known, but it came as no surprise that he was also said to be rumored as a well-educated man. He had two PhDs. Two.
At the time, almost everyone in Amity Park had a high school diploma, the highest degree level of the masses. Sure, some well-off families could send their children four towns away to the closest college, but it was rare.
It was also a privilegeâa means to show off at the annual street market, where the proud mothers would smugly describe their children's dorm rooms or majors to the tightly smiling neighbors.
In the early eighties, having a higher education made people appear more respected, and here was Jack Fenton, a man who had two Ph.D.s and was rumored to be working on his third. The man who had bought out the old Steward faculty building by the main street was having a crew removed into a home/laboratory.
Everyone buzzed for weeks about the new neighbors, and sharing any new details about them was exciting. It may be strange to people outside their little town, but with a population size of at least five thousand (at least in the eighties when the Fentons arrived. and the population grew well into the thousands when Axion Labs was built), news of changes was rare and few in between.
Amity Park didn't have big-shot names on their roads, much less stay to live. Heck, they only recently started getting a carnival to go by, and that was at least seventeen years since the Fentons moved in.
So, it was no surprise that Fenton's daughter showed just as large a brain as she did. Yes, the Fentons were less academic types than they were expecting, showing a rather odd obsession with the paranormal, but no one could deny their ability to build anything.
The Fenton boy was the only one who didn't live up to the family name. Danny was on the right path until Freshman year, when his grade rapidly dropped to the bottom of his class, he vanished for hours on end and went into destructive fits randomly.
He has been found among enough rooms ripped apart to know that Fenton was out of control. School staff spoke to Mr. and Mrs. Fenton often, and the two parents genuinely seemed to take their conversations to heart, attempting to instill better behavior within Danny.
Nothing seems to work. No grounding, detentions, community work, or group meetings seem to get through the boy's head. The Fentons were at their wit's end with their youngest. Mrs. Fenton, fretting that her son had never behaved like this.
Then, ghost attacks started appearing around the same time to make things worse. While the town laughed at them at first, everyone quickly realized the Fentons were one of the few who could provide defense against the ghosts. Throughout more and more attacks, the people started to defer to the Fentons in times of crisis.
The people who once booed them now rallied around them, and it took no time for everyone to acknowledge that the Fentons were now among the highest in the town's social ladder.
That came with some benefits.
"Are you sure this would help Danny?" Maddie asks, staring at the pamphlet in obvious doubt.
"Mrs. Fenton, I assure you that I would not have recommended Daniel for the program if I didn't think it would help him," Mr. Lancer responds with great patience. "It is apparent that he is dealing with something that needs more support than the school staff can provide."
"But to send him away?" Jack cuts in, looking close to tears.
"Don't think of it as sending him away. Think of it as putting him in an environment that can help him. Frankly, Daniel is struggling here. He's been having more and more destructive fits, his teachers have noticed he's paying less and less attention in class, and a few students have even approached me saying he seems to be hiding weapons in his bag."
"Weapons?" Maddie gasps. "Our Danny?"
"Rest assured, we have done searches and investigations as these accusations are not accepted without reason. Daniel does not seem to have any on him, but I worry he may be facing severe bullying if children were willing to lie about something so serious." Mr. Lacner sooth swiftly. He sighed, leaning back in his seat as neither adult looked particularly happy by his words. "The staff and I attempt to step in when we can, but bullies always find ways to slip past us. For example, bothering him off campus. I just think Daniel will be better away from those causing him harm, especially if he really is dealing with a previously unknown mental illness."
He pulls out more pamphlets, one with testimonies from previous program participants. When Lancer left Amity Park for college, he never planned to return. He got his teaching degree alongside his associates in English and History.
Lancer had taught at a different school, a more well-known and better-funded school, but he missed his small town. He missed the neighborly people, the less noise, and Amity's clean, crisp air. He found himself quitting his Gotham Academy job in Grades six to eight, moved back home, and attempted to drag Casper High out of its failing pit.
He still struggled as the school couldn't find enough teachers. He taught four different subjectsâmath, History, English, and Scienceâwhenever he could, and there was almost no funding.
But Casper High was slowly getting better every year due to the connections Lancer had made in his seven-year tenure as a Gotham Acadamy Professor. One of these connections was the father of his favorite English student.
Bruce Wayne.
Mr. Wayne attended every single one of Jason's plays, and as the Drama Club sponsor, Mr. Lancer would chat with him. Most people knew Wayne was an airhead, but Wayne was delightful to be around. Like Mr. Lancer, he cared deeply about education and always took the teacher's suggestions to bring up at PTA meetings.
When Lancer chose to move back to Amity, Jason was devastated and insisted he had Bruce's number. It was heavily implied that the board wanted Lancer gone due to his "questionable" teaching planâhe tried to teach empathy a little too much, according to some parentsâand the boy thought his sudden departure was due to this.
Mr. Wayne assured him if he had been let go or pressured into leaving, he would provide Lancer with an entire team of lawyers. Touching as it was, Lancer assured them he was leaving on his own accord.
He contacted Mr. Wayne, asking for advice on how to apply for school grants or any other tips the billionaire could give him. The man was the most involved Father Lancer had ever met, including fundraising and supporting art programs.
Casper High had been this close to removing Band, Drama, Cheerleading, soccer, and Baseball because it needed more money to afford them. Not to mention all the other clubs that had vanished when Lancer was a Casper student. Bruce was happy to help him save the programs for the students.
It was the main reason Lancer was made vice principal so quickly. He was basically keeping Casper High running.
Two years later, he heard the news that Jason had been murdered. It shattered Lancer's heart. He went to the funeral and watched Mr.Wayne slowly fall apart. Even as he returned home, he tried to reach out to the man whenever he could.
It may have felt different to the other man, but Lancer always thought they were friends. Eventually, Mr. Wayne bounced backânever forgotâfrom Jason's death, and slowly, the gap between them was reconnected.
The reason for Mr. Wayne's mental recovery was the one that suggested this program. He had personally invited Mr. Lancer to send Daniel.
"Tim Drake is a brilliant boy," Mr. Lancer continued, watching the two couples struggle to decide. "His team is filled with trained psychologists, he has the facilities to deal with Meta children, and Daniel won't be uncomfortable rooming with him as a teenager himself."
Maddie looks at Jack, but while she sees the hurt in his eyes, she also sees his resolve. "Alright, we'll send Danny to the Meta Mentoring Program. It's what's best."
"I'll let Mr. Drake know he'll have a roommate."
#if dead tired happens and Bruce/lancer happens then Mr lancer is going to be Dannyâs father in law and Danny doesnât like this#i donât know where i was going with this#but god damn was i going#dead tired#Bruce x Lancer#i donât know their ship name#bruce wayne#danny fenton#tim drake#mr lancer#prev tags#danny phantom x detective comics#dcxdp crossover#dcxdp#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc#dcxdpdabbles#the roomate#mr.lancer is one of those teachers that care and single handle keeing the school open#part 1#I see that part 1 tag and I have decided to ignore it in favor of giving the people shenanigans#sorry op#i had to#Jason sees the moment Bruce realizes his crush is back#he is rejoicing inside but it ends up with him just looking smug#to be fair he is also being smug about it#everyone else catches on quick about whatâs up with Bruce and Tim and their crushes#either immediately is on board ride or fucking die#or is hesitant and is reluctantly okay with it they guess but only because b is happy#I reached the tag limit lmaooooo
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omg can you speak more to your latest post about the reverse happening in 1980, Iâve never about the coherence of the narrative actually :O
Yeah an alternate universe would be crazzyy because our main narrator and star witness of the Beatles would be resident shit stirrer ⌠John Lennon.
John
Fucking
Lennon.
The thing with Paul is that heâs kept to a pretty consistent narrative for the past 40 years or so: John broke up the Beatles cause he wanted to move on, army buddies, they loved each other etc. You can criticise it (I certainly do), but itâs coherent. Itâs also one that has allowed John grace and promoted love and community as a core message, something that the other last surviving Beatle Ringo is more than happy to support. It works, we get it, it's a good message in many ways.
Whereas John ⌠wooo boy. The only idea we have of what John would have been like is the 70s where he couldnât even make a narratively coherent sentence.
If you take his comments and put them together, the Beatles break up was because the guys were blokes he got bored of but also the temple he loved too much but also a marriage that had to end but also a mistake in many ways. Simple, right?
And who was Paul again? Oh, well he was his closest friend ever but also someone he was never very close to and a genius but also artistically dead and yeah, he talks to him often but hasnât spoken to him in a decade and could talk about him for days but also never thinks about him and is his dear one but also a straight and his ex-coworker who he didnt really work with much ⌠wait no fiance/brother that he would do anything for. Whatever emotion John felt at that moment was his new forever truth/cope and that was the shit he was sticking to on record for those five minutes.
 And thatâs John in normal factory mode. Now imagine the nuke that would be losing Paul, his Paul. Imagine every extreme feeling and every defense mechanism under the sun all going off at once and right in the interviewer's face like a deranged grief firework show. Then the added mess of Paul being seen as a saint and Paul the person not being there to reality check Johnâs view of him ⌠chaos. On top of all that, if Yoko is right and John did contemplate an affair with Paul, you think he wouldnât have spouted that at some point AMONGST OTHER THINGS WE DONâT KNOW ABOUT?Â
Trying to work out the whole Beatles saga would be like trying to find Bigfoot but the compass is pointing in every direction and through several detours through an inexplicable amount of orgies, scandals and psychosexual drama.
 Who were the Beatles? God knows, apparently only the best band ever of bffs/coworkers who were so overrated and boring that John couldnât wait to leave/never wanted to quit. Who the fuck was Paul McCartney? Duh, the most beautiful perfect wonderful genius man who had ever lived, one of the great loves of Johnâs life whose memory will stalk his dreams and waking hours until his dying day and has seances for on the reg. Oh he's also a sheep fucking devil who was hated and who intentionally and maliciously slept with half of London and wrote 'nogoodsongsshutup' in an evil plot to trick John to make music with him until Yoko freed him from his spell. What was their relationship? ????????? (okay maybe not everything would have changed lol but we would have so many more details on Johnâs side). Thereâd be no message from the Beatles tale, no story, no cohesion. Just a free-for-all pile of disparate tales of love, hate, treepanning and heartache to sift through.
In any case, I would love to see the madness that would be their version of Beatles tumblr.
#Watching John try to cope would be excruciating#but also a rollercoaster ride from start to finish#im pretty sure John would have come out in the 80s/90s#and took Paul with him#regardless of Paul's actual sexuality or inclinations#also ooooh he and/vs Linda#the beatles#john and Paul#There's an alternative universe#would love to compare notes with that universes fandom#Submarine Postbox#anon#ask#ask me anything
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2001 - theo nott x reader
Honey, what you runnin' from? When you comin' back to bed? Toss and turnin' all night long with me instead Honey, what you runnin' from? Where the hell you headed to? Do you like the way I run after you?
or, theo doesnât understand whatâs holding you back from taking things further
a/n - I think I would classify this soft core smut at best? But adding an 18+ tag jic
tropes/warnings - 18+ MDNI, fluff
word count - 1.6k
âFucking hell. Hide me.â
You shrunk yourself down the best that you could behind your best friend, Ivy, laser-focused on the boy at the other end of the hallway. Ivy rolled her eyes, making no effort to help.
âI canât believe you still wonât tell me what happened that night. It canât have been that bad.â
âIt was,â you muttered, stupidly trying to get Ivy to cooperate. It was no easy task, especially on days like today when she was feeling particularly stubborn, which was a problem since the boy looked fully intent on approaching them.
âWill you relax? You look like an idiot. Like an even bigger idiot than usual. He probably doesnât even remember whatever-â
âIvy. Happy birthday. Sorry I couldnât make it to the party.â
Damn. You thought you had more time. Curse him and his unfairly long legs. Ivy did the grown-up thing, which was literally anything other than pretending she didnât see him. âItâs alright, Theo. You can make it up to me next year.â
âHow was it?â
âIt was nice, actually. We got a discount on -â
Ivy was cut off by a gentle tug, revealing a hunched-over you. You straightened hastily, clearing your throat, refusing to meet his gaze.
âL/N.â
âNott.â
âPlanning on dropping by tonight?â
You put on a straight face, looking politely confused. âHm?â
âThe party. Tonight.â
âOh. Where?â
Theo narrowed his eyes, and your face burned under the intensity of his gaze. It took everything you had to keep your features schooled while he shamelessly searched your face for what felt like far too long.
âThe Slytherin common room,â he replied, finally tearing his eyes away from you. You relaxed, blinking hard and a little breathless, your palms a little clammy. âCanât miss it. Just follow the stench of firewhiskey and bad ideas.â
Internally, you nearly passed out. Externally, you shrugged noncommittally. âSure. Maybe.â Definitely not. You werenât going to spend a second longer in Theoâs presence if you could help it.Â
You and Ivy get to the party and, as expected, youâre abandoned the second she finds Ivan through the crowd. You wander around before you decide to join a group of Slytherins on the couches, next to Theo. You get handed a drink. It burns your throat and makes your eyes water. The loud bass starts to sound more tolerable. Another drink. Theoâs frowning at you. You wonder if anyoneâs told him how good concern looks on his face. Everything is now ten times funnier. You press up against Theo, laughing yourself silly, leaning into his touch as he drapes an arm around you. Another drink. Youâre more than lightly flushed. Theo places a hand on your thigh. You donât move it away.Â
Eventually, you end up pressed against the door of Theoâs room, your mouths a heady mess of heat, teeth and tongues, your bodies moulding to each otherâs. Your eyes flutter shut, blissfully able to let go with your senses dulled by alcohol. You canât tell if itâs the music or your pulse vibrating through your body, but youâre aching for his touch. He presses a knee against your core and you groan into his mouth, melting into a boneless mush in his arms.
âTheodore,â you sighed desperately, breath catching in your throat. It was enough to slow his ministrations on your neck which had been filling your head with the most delicious kind of static. You never used his first name despite your best friends being glued by the lips since sixth year, mostly because you never went beyond exchanging civil pleasantries. Occasionally, youâd have a chat that wasnât entirely unpleasant, or youâd let your thoughts wander to his disarming blue eyes or wicked smile, but that was it. It never did, and it never could, go any further than that. You were too different. It would never work. Youâd only be setting yourself up for heartbreak. Nothing good could come of entangling with the illustrious Theodore Nott, figuratively or otherwise.
And to use his first name was to acknowledge the existence of this softer, kinder Theo - a version worlds away from that Nott boy with the aloof face and the piercing eyes. He hummed against your neck, thumbs restlessly skimming the waistband of your skirt.
âWe canât - we shouldnât,â you continued, once you were able to make sense of your fuzzy thoughts. You pushed him back gently, cool air rushing in to douse the heat of the moment. âOur friends have a whole thing. Weâd only get in the way. Itâs just a bad idea.â
His hands stilled on your hips. âI donât understand. What about our thing?â
He looked so dazed and so adorably dishevelled that you almost felt sorry for him. It was late, Theoâs words sounded dangerously close to slurring, and if you were being honest, you should have left the party hours ago. You stroked his cheek absentmindedly before gingerly slipping out of his hold, recovering your shirt. You slipped it on, fumbling at rhe buttons with trembling fingers, and turned back to see Theo still watching you, uncomprehending, his swollen lips parted in confusion.
âGet some sleep, Nott. Youâll get what I mean in the morning.â
âBye, Theo,â Ivy was saying now. âGive Ivan a kiss for me.â
âShould I feel him up while Iâm at it?â
âIt only seems right to give him the full experience.â
Ivy grinned as he walked off while you all but dragged her down the hall towards your next class.
âAw, come on, Y/N, heâs not that bad.â She glanced at you, eyes twinkling with mirth. âYou know, I always thought he has a thing for y-â
âArenât you late for Herbology?â
Ivy cursed as she fumbled at her wristwatch, hurrying down the corridor. In about a minute, sheâd realise that she didnât have Herbology today, but you decided to let her find that out herself.
Hours later, you were holed up in the library, desperately trying to plug your ears with all the ruckus going on floors below. Trying to focus was a losing battle.
âI thought Iâd find you here.â
Your head snapped up too see Theo leaning against one of the bookshelves. Busted. To be fair, she was nowhere near the worldâs best liar, so it was doubtful whether he had even believed her in the first place.
âNott,â you greeted, in a pleasant enough voice. âIs that the time? I hadnât realised the party had already started.â
The music continued blasting, more than audible to the two of them. Theo arched an eyebrow, slowly walking over, and you had the decency to look embarrassed over your bald-faced lie.
âI was planning to drop by later.â
âWell, you should.â
âMaybe I will:â
âItâs almost as fun as that last party ages ago.â
You stiffened at the memory. âAh. Yes.â
Theo leaned over you, broad-shouldered and hypnotising. He dragged his gaze across you inch by agonising inch, undressing you with his eyes. You were starting to feel uncomfortably warm in your uniform. He dropped his voice.
âFirst and last time I see you in my bed, hmm?â
You choked, failing to suppress the shiver prickling over your skin. âThatâs -Â stop it.â
âStop what?â
âTalking likeâŚthat.â You felt your face heat up all over again, cursing yourself for your inability to even pretend to keep your cool in front of him. âLooking at me like that.â
His gaze flickered to your chest, so brief youâd have missed it if you blinked. âLike what?âÂ
You let out a frustrated, overwhelmed sigh, your brain becoming oddly fixated on the memory of his hands on your hips, travelling up your ribcage, at the nape of your neck, grip tightening on your waist -
âGo on. Use your words.â
His breath tickled the shell of your ear, the closest heâd been to you since that night.Â
âLikeâŚlike you actually want me. Like Iâm something special.â
âYou are something special.â
You groaned and looked away. âIâm seeing someone,â you tried, half-heartedly. Theo snorted.
âWhat, that Davies guy? Yeah, like thatâs going to last.â
You couldnât even bring yourself to feel all that indignant on Daviesâ behalf. Not that you were going to let Theo know that. âIâll have you know that Mac is a perfect gentleman.â
âMy point is-â Theo started, irritatedly. You took a perverse sort of pleasure in ruffling his feathers. â- why the fuck are we talking about Davies when you could be in my bed, doing far more interesting things with that mouth?â
âOr maybe itâs something else entirely. Perhaps you like having me run after you. Is that where you get off, hmm? The thrill of the chase? Being a tease?â
âI am not a -â you began hotly, before you caught the mischievous twinkle in his eye. You rolled your eyes. âYouâre too cocky for your own good,â you muttered.Â
âI thought you like me cocky,â he teased. His expression softened the next second and you watched him trace lazy circles on your wrist.
âBesidesâŚIâve never tried this hard to get into someoneâs pants.â
You gave a shaky laugh. Theo bent down once more, this time to press a kiss to your lips, then another, and another, until you were lying on your back on the table, looking sinfully ravished, blouse long forgotten.
One night couldnât hurt, could it?
#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott x you#theodore nott x y/n#theo nott x reader#theo nott#theodore nott fluff#theo nott smut#theodore nott smut#theodore nott imagine#Spotify
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Hey, mama. I'm not American but I live in a country with very strict laws about LGBT and porn and stuff. And you know what, literally NOTHING changed with these laws. Noone can take your queerness from you, noone can forbid you be who you are (woman, man, non binary, whatever). But I've never thought you'd be THAT angry over something that didn't even happen yet. Don't you understand ppl vote against this anger ("fuck men", "make everyone uncomfy", "double the suffering and gelive it to trump")? I have no respect for anyone who's trying to take yours from you. But you're doing exactly what they want to do. The only difference is they are against queer and you're against straight. You can send me to hell or not reply in any way. But in a four year time you'll see, that your life didn't cange much. Trust me. People always find the way to do what they want to do. Breathe out girl. Everything's gonna be okay. Even if it doesn't seem like it now.
Yes, I will take this opportunity to âsend you to hellâ, thank you lol
This is all a backwards line of thinking. This isnât just another candidate thatâs running for President and another candidate that weâll move on from in four years; this is a man thatâs been elected President that will alter and change the trajectory of our country and our government structures itself. Democracy will no longer exist the way that it has for 250 years, if at all.
He has already made announcements of forcing the government to only acknowledge two genders, of punishing teachers with civil crimes if they try and teach anything but, of altering education in schools to only teach about man and wife, man and woman.
What do you mean, âbreathe outâ?
This is the man that overturned Roe v. Wade, that stripped women of the rights to their bodies. He appointed extreme and conservative Supreme Court Justices that will make similar decisions for this country until the day they die. This is the man that wants to force all women to have unwanted pregnancies at any age, for any reason, even if it might kill them and even if they are the product of rape. He wants to make it illegal for pregnant women to cross state lines, wants the government to track womenâs periods, wants to get rid of birth control as a whole.
âBreathe outâ?
He wants to make interracial marriage illegal, wants to make gay marriage illegal, wants to get rid of the Department of Education and radicalize education to where everyone prays in school and learns a very white-washed education (moreso than now) that focuses on how amazing America is. He wants to jeopardize school funding more than it is and wave it over districts heads as a threat. Public school and children will suffer more than it ever has.
Thatâs just scratching the surface.
It shouldnât matter that it hasnât happened yet; weâve barely recovered from the effects of his last presidency. The hate he encouraged and spewed is something Iâm not sure weâll ever recover from at all. It hasnât happened yet, but heâs outlined exactly how itâs going to happen and exactly what we should expect.
And you think I should take a deep breath?
Iâm happy that your life is exactly the same as it was before your laws were put into place. But this is WAY more than a focus on LGBTQIA+ communities. This is our entire livelihood. This is our entire government, country, communities, futures at stake. And this is extremely personal, even as a white woman in a straight presenting relationship. I canât imagine the fear that any woman or person of color or any trans person or anyone in a gay marriage is feeling.
Iâm angry for myself, my two young daughters. Iâm angry for the women in my life who have to put their future plans on hold or who have to decide right now if they want to get pregnant or start a family now and are mourning for the loss of it. Iâm angry for my best friend who is a woman of color who now has to wait and see if her marriage will end up being legal, whose safety I worry for every single day. Iâm angry for all of my trans friends who have to yet again question why this country hates them so much and doesnât cherish and love them for existing as they are.
Iâm angry. I feel rage in my body and spirit that I have not once felt before and thatâs with me being one of the lucky ones to receive generations of trauma and anger I have to work through. Iâve never felt anger like this, this stagnant, still, villain era anger. And Iâll be damned if I donât use it for good because I think itâs ridiculous of you to say that I should be quiet and let the other side, the side that instills fear in others and wishes to take away their very basic human rights, be louder than I am.
Fuck that to the highest degree.
Iâm about to use my privilege to scream my love and my support for those in need from the highest of mountaintops. And if that comes in the form of screaming my hatred for men, the patriarchy, Republicans, and conservatives directly back to them then I sure as shit will be doing that; they are the ones with hate in their heart who are wishing to take away the rights of others. I didnât vote for that. If my hatred comes in other forms like becoming a part of local community groups with like minds, supporting local and black-owned businesses, supporting my local library, educating my daughters to be empathetic and supportive, standing up for women in public if need be, then I will also sure as shit be doing that.
The world deserves my anger.
This was an ignorant ask to send. I donât hate straight people; thatâs just outright fucking stupid. I donât think youâre educated enough on the subject to be sending me an ask that is effectively telling me to calm down, WHICH IS SO FUNNY because thatâs what women are always told when theyâre hysterical, because this is much much more than just the rights of LGBTQIA+ people and another President being elected.
Sure, I hope youâre right and that everything is the same in four years. But youâre wrong.
Sure, Iâll breathe out. But then Iâm going to take a deep breath in and scream my support at the top of my lungs even if it comes in the form of hating men, conservatives, Republicans, and Trump.
Please donât pretend as if you know me. This is the internet, this is fandom, this is somewhat of a persona.
Yes, I am angry. I canât understand how people are not.
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âhow the writers delt with river song
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THEY DID MY GIRL SO DIRTY there are so many. good river song moments. and there are so manythat make me want to tear a strip off steven moffat like every goddamn episode with her they have to make some obnoxious sex joke or some Honey Im Home type shit & i understand this is like. A Moffat Theme & i dont always hate it but goddddd its so reductive like there is so much!!!! that could be done with her character !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is overshadowed by haha what if she was sexy like STOPPPPPPPPPPPP.
like silence in the library was a really good character lead in & i like her!!! as a character !!!! even the overly flirtatiousness unfortunately that would work on me but even aside from that. she is a good character let down but the sheer pull-it-out-of-your-ass writing of her backstory. like?? she could regenerate cos she was conceived in the tardis okay thats really cool much weirder stuff has happened when it comes to tardises & making babies but then WE SeE THIS FOR LIKE. ONE OR TWO EPISODES BEFORE THEYRE LIKE WHOOPS THAT DOESNT WORK ACTUALLY COS SHE'S DEAD UHHH SHE BETTER UHMM IDK SAVE TH E DOCTOR OR SOMETHING WHATEVER> COS HER ENTIRE LIFE HAS TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM. HASHTAG MARRIAGE AMIRITE like even the fact that her entire life was shaped around him isnt a Bad Idea it just feels like no one considered the tragic impies (implications) of this, & simultaneously doing amy so dirty in the process as well like??? she loses baby mels & then discovers she was her (never previously mentioned) childhood friend but then she uhhhh dies & turns into this woman you already know and them????? barely eveer mention it again???? holy shit?????????????????????? amy & river is a freaking horror story but one that the writers seem imcapable of dealing with because sOMEONE is too busy making obnoxious jokes about married life
a lot of thsi is specific to the General Vibes of the eleven era stuff as well which was in general so so weird about women & while its not like twelve or any of teh other doctors are expemt from this eleven is a massive dick to people quite a bit & a lot of this falls on river b/c he is seemingly (iirc i havent seen some of this stuff for a while though it Haunts Me) almost careless? with her? like a sort of 'welllllll she's here now so it was all okay in the end :)' sort of attitude ignoring that she went through A Fuckton Of Stuff before she was even a concious human(mostly??) being
even the husbands of river song is tragically guilty of some of that stuff like. she's seen some wild shit & she should have known it was twelve wayyyyyy way way quicker. like i understand why she didnt for plot reasons but she is in fact very intellegent like. she's allowed to show that. unfortunatley sometimes women cant be smart & have their boobs out at that same time I GUESSSSSSSSS
also the nine & river audios from earlier this year? i really like archipelago i listened to that a couple of times & i thought it was really powerful but AGAIN the writers make river So Fucking Obsessed With Romance like. you'd let it go by that point. nine had literally just proved he's the most aro guy in the universe (good for him) and shes stillllllll flirting at him. which. imo she wouldnt do anymore because, shock horror, she does actually like him as a person & values his company and you would think you would be friends wit hthe guy YOU ARE GONG TO MARRY OR WHATEVER. NOT THAT THEIR MARRIAGE WAS PARTICULARLY ROMANTIC EITHERIM GONNA BE SO REAL. obviously sex is important to her & good for her but yikes. it doesnt need to be mentioned so often.
like its the whole 'inherent tragedy of waiting for a time traveller' stuff which i do eat up every time meeting her in silence of the library & knowong that there is so much more there - VERY COMPELLING !! really good character intro augahagaauuaajaaajahhahahahhhh but nooooo her Entire Fucking Goddman Life has to revolve around being manipulated & The Doctor AS WELL AS !! the completely uncalled for ohhhh im a PSYCHOPATH ( <- unfounded & demonstrably untrue lowkey this is saneism right. thats an ableism there yes? ) thing they alllwaysssss have her say like well!! shes not !! theres 'youre talking about commiting a murder'/'no im not, i'm actually commiting a murder' which i like & is funny & she would say that and then theres teh vauge oooohhhhh im so Freaky & I Have A Gun or whatevr like augsugsaihuahahaouoauauoouauoauoauoauuo
also twelve & river had freaky t4t bi4bi aroallo sex after the end of husbands of river song but no actual dw writer is enlightened enough to see that because they have to flatten her into The Doctors Wife & she would have had a far better dynamic with 12 than with 11 (not that i'm biased) i wish they got more time togetherrrrrrrrrrr also you should listen to the bekdel test (diary of river song audio with missy)
#tldr river song is a character i love very much however she had the grave misfortune of being written in the mid 2010s by steven moffat#anyways. sorry yikes this got long im so sorry i dindt realise i had this much to say. wow#doctor who#thanks for the ask!!#this is not. very flattering of elevens era if are are emotionally attached to him you may want to skip this one <3#jordan tag :D#river song
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#lmao two 'venting in the tags' posts in one day i'm Sorry#anyways. thinking about iowa guy. b/c he plagues me.#like i well and truly fucked up there is NO question there#(compulsive liars when the relationship they built entirely on lies blows up in their face: đą)#but also he was Very fucked up and. quite violent?? at times?? never overtly like physical or anything but. hm. the implied threats. Yikes#i don't know. i go back and forth on if it could have worked out like. daily.#even just as friends and not whatever the fuck we ended up being.#i miss him!! i really do. any time i see something related to cats or philosophy or french cinema or the occult i think of him.#but overall it's probably best that things eventually ended. even if i'd kill to redo that final conversation.#idk. idk!! all i can do is hope he's doing well i guess. i hope all that anger fades eventually because behind it all he's very kind.#meanwhile i do hope ***** dies in a ditch but THAT is another story <3
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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he sat there on the ground and cried. for cas. cas told him he loved him was taken away and he buried his head in his hands and wept
#AND THEN THEY TRIED TO PRETEND LIKE IT WAS FINE? and after the widower arc#it wasnât even as nearly fucked then this time all their friends got thanos snapped and we donât even get canon confirmation that they were#brought back. even with covid not even a vo or offhand mention or reference#jack is god and in every drop of rain or whatever.#sure yeah whatever they beat the final boss and got over the protagonist angst of it all but the world was still the same it just wasnât a#chuck story which only ramped up to being The Big Problem in the season 14 finale.#cas was stabbed by an angel blade and dean broke while wrapping his body for the funeral pyre. ALONE. and was. not doing well#and you tell me itâs whatever after he sat there in that dungeon refused to answer samâs calls and cried during the complete and total end#of the world. that he just bounced back from that and died and drove around heaven for decades in a few minutes and smiled while americana#electric guitar played on some bridge#cas helped oh thatâs nice I guess smile now I have GOT to go drive my car around. because I did not get enough of that in my time on earth.#unlike my time with cas which I am satisfied with and in no need of closure. perhaps a conversation. looking upon him to see him alive and#well. healing some of that trauma of the last time I saw him. a reunion hug maybe even which has become tradition. CUT THE CAMERAS deadass#heâs going for the face touch. no this we cannot possibly have time for we have to play carry on wayward son twice#sorry. it has been three years. sorry. itâs just so funny buddy your ass did NOT escape the hamster wheel
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Sorry I intended to keep about 400 miles from this discourse but what do you fucking mean that people heard the guy who made fake screenshots against an artist justify it using "Oh its to show that callout culture is bad and that you people were too quick to believe them." and just went yeah that sounds right you have a good point callouts are bad but youre just showing that we support what youre doing actually Really just proves to me that at best the average person who never shuts the fuck up about "cancel culture" is either a remarkable idiot or a massive hypocrite provided you say the right cue words at them
#1) people who do this can and do lie about their reasons especially with how easy it is to get people on your side doing so#2) even if it shows whatever fucking shit theyre making up ITS STILL A DEEPLY FUCKED UP THING TO PIN ON A PERSON???? LIKE#The artist in question does not benefit from you using them as your little example toy. If they in your own argument are a victim of the#traumatic nature of callout posts WHY THE HELL ARE YOU JUSTIFYING FURTHER TRAUMA??? WHAT DO THEY GET FROM THIS#Sorry i have close friends who were the victims of basically almost everything said artist had happen only with even less justification#and it haunts them every fucking day to see the way people are still treating them. the 'good' treatment included#Why for even a second are you people acting like you actually give a fuck when you are justifying the fallout of this whole mess with 'oh i#guess this really proves a point. its actually showing thing bad' yeah im sure that feels great from being on the receiving fucking end as#the strung up example. Im sure theres really a lot of comfort in 'oh we shot you to show how bad shooting people is'#i have zero fucking respect for any of you. hypocrites the lot of ya just looking for the wording that proves your own personal side#rw drama#i fucking guess im just literally fucking baffled at how fucking. little it takes
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Part of me, deep deep down, wonders if we still may have a scene of MK on his knees versus his friends a la 4x07
#like maybe we WON'T. and that's totally fine#I did get ''You were locked in a corner- told to get on your knees and accept your fate! And you didn't!#You came back and chose to stand to meet your end! Together.'' Like at the very least *kisses kneeling/standing motif*#And it's like ''your friends will turn on you- seeing you for the monster you will become!'' like where did that fear come from. Wukong#Wukong & Macaque#And what are we MAYBE getting answers to next season. Wukong V Macaque#I just. *gestures* the chaos shit is so weird. the staff corruption is so weird#''When the chaos makes them who they are'' SO WEIRD#So like. Rn I feel like MK finally gets hey. You really don't have to do it alone! And it's okay it all leads to pain! Good job bestie#Like the option is it all leads to pain or there's nothing. Cool cool#But I do feel like. He needs to be okay with his role specifically? You know? Like the ''it's always my fault!'' aspect of it#''It definitely shouldn't be left up to me'' like. Well. It kinda was#This was YOUR choice#Idk man like. This is just gonna have consequences#like ''I saw my children couldn't survive the chaos'' We have lost the safety net of the cycle#We have lost the 10 kings. We've lost heaven (ish).#MK you quite literally chose your sentimentality for mortal pleasures over a lot. Over guaranteed survival#God part of me is like. U were so willing to kill yourself so you could finally make up for being you I know it#I fucking know it MK#Ur so rayla core#my god#U were like "I can finally make the world better than I found it by fucking killing myself'' like dude. dude no#this is such a weird amalgamation of getting better/worse MK like I love you#character of all time#And earlier in the season being like ''You're a beast. A monster'' and then calling nine a monster like. MK. whatever#was part of LBD's plan literally destroying chaos with the fire (''And everything beyond even that!'') like idk I'm losing it#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#lmk spoilers
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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when youâre watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group đ
#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one#prob best if u don't expand the tags#am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time#so I think I get a pass on this one.#one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch#it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie!#there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who#have not. okay so far so normal.#and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that#when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in#a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs#and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and#they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times#like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying#I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so#I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of#them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in#their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door#this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl#this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything#AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great#emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too#is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!'#I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of#knowing how to coexist politely in public#anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out.#I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who#found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness#I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think#hater hour over love u guys bye
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Ngl youtube videos suddenly got me slowly turning into a Justin Russo hater.
#like mainly later seasons him#early seasons him is fine#but like i guess plot wise you could argue he becomes more iffy because you know the competition will be soon#and justin does want to become the family wizard#as for some reason this show still never fully tackled the fucked up shit of the idea that wizard siblings have to grow up studying magic#only for one or two or whatever number siblings to lose it to one sibling in a competition#like stevie was the closest we got to that#but like it still dont make it less bad with how justin was#like the worst example i can name is him literally refusing to save alex whose his sister btw and shes always dropped shit to save him#because he wants to project onto her that she purposely fucked up his chances to get back into the competition via#pushing the students to take the test only for them to be failed because bad guy being bad guy in reality#and basically blames her for the failure and such as a result and acts like its all an act when she is mad on the students behalf and shit#and his students have to drag him kicking and screaming just to save her from the bad guy's shit#and there's also the competition itself where harper and zeke get grabbed by a creature during it#but alex has to convince her brothers to save the two and thats just cold already on justins end with zeke#but cause they took too long they all lose the competition and magic#and both brothers especially justin proceed to treat alex like shit even during work hours meaning#fucking over family business just to get at alex#and when the dad ultimately almost sells the place justin STILL blames alex#like she was the only one working fully max was being max and justin was being a little bitch to her#aka the infamous refusing to make her orders only max's and when he does he throws the sandwich at her#and cause she was holding drinks at the time and didnt see it coming the drinks went on a customer#and also throwing table trash into her already full bin shes carrying around while cleaning tables#and therefore messing it up for her like#and alex's logo...well from sounds of shit thats just justin again being a hateful bitch to his sister with zero consquiences#even one commenter pointing how he sadistically smiled while telling her all her friends hate her#like dear god if the show was doing this to make everyone root for alex its working i hate later season justin#gonna be interesting if hes matured or not as an adult
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i just think it's so funny that when *i* lash out and start bitching *about* management to my coworkers because of a stressful day at work, i get pulled into the office to discuss my attitude, but when a manager lashes out and bitches *at me* because of a stressful work day, i get a halfassed "oh sorry, but-" and i'm expected to roll over and take it.
#ace rambles#negative//#boss prompted us to stop talking and keep it moving. okay sure whatever.#i lightheartedly asked what the rush was because we were almost done for the day#boss immediately snaps and starts yelling about how she's been busting her ass and hasn't gone to lunch yet#and she's ''not gonna watch four people stand and talk'' while she busts her ass#we were standing there for maybe thirty seconds. i didn't put you in that fucking situation girl#you're flying off the handle at the wrong guy#and i just know that if i had lashed out like that at her it would have at BEST been another ''conversation''#and more likely i would have been written up#i guess it's just another reminder that she's my boss. not my friend.#because if she were my FRIEND i would have been able to explain to her that that was incredibly hurtful#and that it really could have been just a minor issue at most#but i can't exactly look my boss in the eye and say ''hey you major overrracted and really hurt my feelings''#i've tried it with other managers and it doesn't end well#and look. i'm no stranger to getting frustrated and losing my cool.#it's a thing i'm actively trying to get better about but i'm big enough to admit that i have a long way to go.#the fact that she yelled at me isn't even what's bothering me#it's mostly the fact that i did not get a real apology and i really doubt i will.#and if i try and bring it up tomorrow or later then *i'm* going to look like the one who's overreacting and can't let it go#which tbh i probably maybe am?#i think i'm probably being stupid but i have a bad history with yelling and anger#which i don't need to get into you guys know the origin story already#whatever man#i want to cry but i'm in public still
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as a younger alter i relate to claudia iwtv x_x'
#the isolation of being not a child but not an adult... screams#i just want FRIENDS#but like when im talking to adults... i usually have to lie that i dont exist so then we're not really friends even if we hang out imo#pretty sure it's impossible to be a friend to someone you don't know is alive!!!!#either that or they DO know i exist so they end up acting like my babysitter/aunt/whatever so we're never equals and it's uncomfortable :/#and i can't even talk to kids at all because like i KNOW i'm in an adult body i do not have to be told not to talk to kids i get it.#so i just hang out by myself a lot... dreaming to meet a system with some cool weird emo kid alter who would wanna be my friend...#wow. talking about it made me so sad i got a really bad headache DX#it's worse than back when i was real and alive because then at least i could go online and make friends#and now it's just the same shit online too!!!!!#how are we even supposed to deal with this?#i don't wanna integrate just to not be alone. i like myself and i like being myself!!!!#even after everything i still like being myself and im gonna keep doing it#fuck everyone who doesnt like it#this might not be my body or my life but i am still my own ME! and nobody and nothing in the universe can take that away from me#nico.exe
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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