#even if they hated how her reasons could be destructive for her own self even if it was to gain something else

[one-eternal-sigh]

And what if Bella, who wanted to marry someone of her own choice, Bella who had hated being pushed around and so often fell out with her parents about it because for merlin’s sake, she was a bright witch, and she valued family ideals deeply but no, she wouldn’t let them to this to her, wouldn’t lose this form of control.

Bella who agreed to a wedding as a means of strategy, to strike a deal with her parents, or just to get them off her back, to rise as a death eater, to commit herself to the power, for that delicious, delicious control.

Bella who stares at her reflection for hours before her wedding because it has finally, truly dawned on her what she’s getting herself into, setting aside the cool detachment and practical success of the strategy, there is the cold reality of the fact that she’s marrying a man she doesn’t love.

Bella who smiles through it because it’s her plan and if she got herself into it, she damn well can’t be caught lacking. Bella who will hold her head high, because she won’t admit it even to herself that it’s killing her inside a little. That something in her is a little uncertain about her choice.

Narcissa who was so happy for Bellatrix on her wedding day, only to burst out crying the day after because this means Bellatrix is moving, Bellatrix is leaving her. Narcissa feeling so overjoyed for Bellatrix because she seems happy (idk if she is) and she looks so happy she’s leaving the house but Narcissa realising this means she’ll be on her own and she won’t have anyone to ever go to. 

It doesn’t even matter that Bellatrix will only be a apparation away, she’s gone. She’s not in that house anymore, it’s only Narcissa now, and god does Narcissa feel alone. 

[spdrvyn]

miguel and his sunshine human gf that loves to annoy the shit out of him and sometimes in order to stop her/calm her down he has to put her in an air jail 🤭

ardor and annoyance

miguel and reader who's a bundle of energy and joy. having to tame your late night rituals is no easy task, but it's one that he's always willing to take. what's more important than having your dear lover in bed with you?

pure fluff. reader can be seen as either civilian/spider. is it really one of my fics if i don't write about how much miguel hates himself even by just a little bit

dividers by @cafekitsune

What Miguel learned from being a leader, setting an example, being his mother's son, and serving as a hero was patience. 

It was a value that he had slipped up on from time to time, more often with himself. If he ever found himself at wit's end with someone else, he would mope until it passed or wait to get some precious alone time and healthily expresses his emotions by making a mess of his quarters and breaking down until he'd get tired and just sleep it off, restarting this precious cycle. 

Eventually though, he had begun to no longer exhaust himself by getting angry. Unless the entire multiverse was at stake (ahem), then he'd have to spring into action. But his main priority now is to fix the problem, get it over with, rinse, and repeat. 

When you entered his life, he realized that there was more to his ridiculous routines, more than his self-destructive attitudes, and that true patience came with love and caring as well. Obviously, he's light years away from being content with himself, but you redirect him, navigating through when that dastardly cycle repeats, so that you can wash it away and make him anew. 

Miguel isn't the only one that has his layers peeled back though, there's so much that he notices about you. That composed and mature persona that you set up for yourself, that has built good albeit only professional connections with the other spiders eases its way into a bubbly and joyful demeanor whenever you're around him. 

It almost didn't make sense, Miguel just seemed like the kind of guy to not want to do that with, to not want to relax around. He couldn't even relax on his own, the thought that anyone could feel comfortable in their own skin around him was shoved into the back of his mind. That connection that he so painfully needs is put aside for prioritizing the safety of everyone everywhere else. 

Your true nature is infectious, to his dismay. It's too difficult to avoid the care that you're so insistant on giving him, it started with working overtime, to enjoying working overtime, to going over to Miguel's place for work purposes, to going over to Miguel's place for non-work purposes to kissing him for the first time, and now you're dating. 

The catch with Miguel having let loose around him was that all that conserved energy circulated around his apartment, whenever he got home from another long day at the Society, he'd climb into you doing five different things all at once. Reading, watching a show, watching a baking show, baking a cake, and texting. 

It was hectic, nothing that he couldn't handle, but how you're not on the verge of collapsing probably deep into the trenches of the night concerned him. For slightly more selfish reasons, Miguel doesn't like not having you in bed with him. This wasn't as extreme as the missions he took up at work, but it was a mission nonetheless.

You're... Busy, Miguel doesn't know what with. He sees yarn, he sees cookie dough, he sees a laptop, tablet, phone, and headphones, and so many other trinkets that are buried under the pile that you've built on the kitchen counter. Your focus shifts between each individual station, and Miguel shifts closer and closer to you quietly. 

You're occupied on the laptop, occasionally looking at the stove while you're doing so. Then returning to your yarn and now knitting needles? Before mixing the cookie dough even more and even liking the mixture off of the spoon, humming to yourself contently. 

You don't even notice that Miguel is right behind you, until he secures you against his front and lifts you up with a squeal. 

"Miguel!" You whine, squirming against his solid arms. Your feet swing in the air and you try to push his hands away from your midsection, but there's no use in trying to free yourself when it's with him anyway. 

"Go to sleep. No más tonterías, cariño." His voice is fogged by sleep, as his grasp on you tightens. You turn slightly with what little space that you have and you can see his slumber muddled stature. Tousled hair, relaxed expression, eyes half-lidded, and he raises a brow at your staring. "What?"

"Nothing," you sigh, "I'll go to sleep, you just have to let me go."

Miguel shakes his head, rocking your swinging body from side to sidet to go along with it as well. "No, I don't trust you." There's a humorous fry to it, you accentuate the pout on your lips, and he laughs. 

It takes a little while for you to convince him to put you down, you can't say this is the most uncomfortable position for you. Whenever you're around Miguel, you always wind up in his arms one way or another, but this time that principle is just being used against you. The conversation shifts, less about your captivity, more about Miguel's day, your day, anything new outside, anything new in Spider Society. The position you're in, the silky nature in his voice, it gets you groggy and Miguel can sense it. 

He wins. 

He handles you to the bed properly now, laying your once tireless form onto the comforter as he tucks you in. You don't even try objecting anymore, the stove is still on, the video on your laptop was probably still playing, and that knitting project will have to remain unfinished until tomorrow, but it was fine. You know that everything is fine when Miguel gets into bed with you, pressing his lips to the top of your head in one long kiss. 

He wins this little dispute of yours, but you know that you've won at life knowing that your nights end like this, engulfed in his embrace, the sound of his breathing bringing you to a deep sleep as well. 

[mrsnancywheeler]

let me down easy // finnick odair x f. reader

based off this blurb

summary: finnick pushed himself away, isolated himself, and you're slipping through his fingers like sand.

masterlist

3.8k words

warnings: angst, a tiny bit of fluff at the end, a little smutty but also very brief, mental illness, insecurity, paranoia, allusions to cheating (no one is actually cheating), slightly mean!finnick, self destructive behavior on all sides, more insecurities, arguments, feeling isolated, slight blood and injury, female rage things, male masturbation, unedited, no use of y/n, brief mentions of vomiting, girls girls all around, annie cresta my beloved being a girl girl, people pleaser reader

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Once every day had felt like it was full of sunlight, even if there were ups and downs you always had each other by the end of it. Now you weren't even sure if you had yourself, let alone Finnick. Worst of all you had no idea what you'd done wrong, at first you chalked it up to how he'd just returned from the Capitol. But usually his isolation was a day at the most before he'd succumb to your comfort. Instead it had been nearly a month of radio silence.

He stopped the way he'd pepper your face with kisses to wake you up and bring you to the kitchen where he'd have made breakfast, telling you mindless stories about his morning swim. Now if he did anything for you it felt robotic, out of necessity, there was no helping you with your hair, having fun picking out your outfits, he was barely around. Never would you have thought you could be such an outcast in your own home, your own relationship.

At first you'd thought you just weren't doing enough, that he needed some extra love to help him open up. Reluctantly you'd fully wake yourself up when you felt him rise for his swim, take up the position of making him breakfast instead. Busying yourself with his favorites until he returned and you put on your best smile when he did, hopeful it would be somewhat successful.

“Good morning!” You greeted and were met with a confused look, a nod. You'd always hated getting up this early yet here you were and he did nothing.

“I have to take a shower." He muttered and was up the stairs. It was a disappointing resolution, but then your hopes had still been high. So you kept making his favorites throughout the next few days, scattering gifts for him throughout the house, writing notes to hide where he might find them, desperate to show him how much you loved him.

“Where are you going?" Your voice startled him and he slowly turned his head towards you.

Finnick's voice was so dry, rigid, “Fishing."

“Oh, let me get my shoes on, I'll come with!" Bright smiles, you reminded yourself when it felt like wavering.

“I'd rather go alone."

“Right." It wanted to falter so bad, “How long are you gonna be gone? I could make you lunch to go or something."

“I'm okay."

You fidgeted with your fingers, “Yeah, okay, well, um, have fun." Then he was gone, without a kiss, even a hug goodbye. Come to think of it there hadn't been any at all for a while, not even in the morning which is something he'd always do. So after a few days failing with those attempts you'd convinced yourself of a different reason.

“Annie, be honest with me, do you think I'm pretty?" The two of you had been out in the garden of Victors Village and she seemed taken aback.

“Honey, of course you're pretty. You're beautiful, what brought this on?" She dropped what she was doing to look at you.

You darted around the specifics, “What about the way I dress, is it too frumpy?"

“No! There's nothing wrong with anything about you." Her voice was so soft and she felt like the only person you could talk to now that Finnick had pushed himself away from you. “What's going on?"

You felt yourself finally crying all the held back tears you'd hid for the moments alone, “What if he's found someone prettier and more exciting?” You sobbed out and Annie hugged you.

"Finnick worships the ground you walk on, he'd never do that.”

"He barely even talks to me anymore, Annie. It's like I don't exist.”

“He's just going through a rough patch, it's not your fault."

Regardless of what Annie said, you disagreed. He must have had someone else, but you couldn't confront him about it. No, if you did then it would become real and he'd leave you for them. There had to be someone else taking on his hardships and loving him the way he'd once let you. So you bought new makeup, new lingerie, new clothes, tried to feel more attractive, more desirable. Yet it didn't seem like he even noticed.

You'd waited for his return all day, he'd left so early you hadn't even seen him. You made dinner praying that he'd see the effort you made, and find you irresistible once again. Of course, this effort seemed to be in vain.

“Welcome home, Finn!" You greeted when he walked through the front door, pained by the sound of your own faux bubbly voice. You put a plate down in front of his usual seat.

“Thanks." He mumbled and you smiled cheerfully. Perhaps you'd been too solemn and he'd prefer someone who exuded more sunshine-like behavior. “How was your day?" His voice was sharp, curt, but it was a conversation nonetheless. Always better than nothing.

“It was good!" You lied through your teeth, there hadn't been a single moment where your brain hadn't been infested with the thought of him pushing you away, him with someone else. It was something you desiped, you preferred to be in the moment. When you had been confident in yours and Finnick's relationship you could immerse yourself in the company of others, enjoy menial tasks with humming and daydreams, but now the isolation haunted your mind. “Annie and I planted some new flowers and cut some that recently finished blooming. I finally changed our vases out." He didn't even glance around, just kept eating. Your Finnick had always made an effort to look around, praise you for anything you did, he took pride in you, now the only thing he took pride in was being able to avoid you.

He curtly nodded his head in response and you felt like you might snap. Especially as the silence persisted, nothing except the sounds of the house and his fork clinking on the plate. You chewed at your bottom lip, leg bouncing up and down waiting for the smallest bit of conversation, but nothing came. Eventually you shot out of your seat, grabbed your plate, which you were sure you wouldn't be able to stomach, and began cleaning up dinner. Hands gripping each dish so hard as if to contain all the rage you'd been repressing.

“I can clean up." Finnick murmured as he rose.

Being lazy was another thing you thought could be a reason. He did so much for you and whatever you had to offer must not have been enough. Yes, he'd always insisted that you should just be his pretty girl that he could look at when he did the tasks, but in secret he must have just wanted you to resist and do more. So you vehemently shook your head, “No, I've got it!" Your voice was strained and several pitches too high to sound natural.

“It's fine, I can do it.” How dare he have the gall to sound annoyed with you.

“I've got it Finnick, just go to bed!" Or whatever the fuck else is he does to be away from you. You regretted how snappy you were, he wanted someone easy going, not how uptight you were being. But god, hate that man for how he looked like a wounded puppy dog. “Sorry." You muttered, only partially genuine. Harshly grabbing a glass to clean, hands gripping around it, so harshly it seemed that when you went to put it to dry, it shattered in your hand. Your reaction was delayed as you stood there in disbelief, you hated your life, “Fuck.”

Then his hand was on your back and you involuntarily jerked at the contact you hadn't felt for so long. “You're bleeding." How the hell was his voice still so stony, a mystery you'd never know the answer too. It sent tingles up your spine the way his hand was on your back, you missed his touch. He led you to the bathroom where he carefully tended to the cuts in your hand. Carefully taking out the pieces of glass and although you occasionally winced, it was like your brain couldn't comprehend the pain over the buzzing about his hand touching yours. But once he bandaged it up the touch was gone and so was he with a, “I'll clean up."

Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. But you hated being angry with him when he was probably going through something, he'd struggled so much and just needed help. Was it really excusable though when it was tearing you apart to be in all of this. You got up and without a second thought walked straight out the front door. Feet guiding you to the comfort of the beach. Of course it invoked memories of all the better times spent with Finnick, but out here at least you had the ocean. It has started to rain and you didn't care. Walking out into the sea, as far as you could touch, and letting the freedom of the waves surround you. And you screamed, at the sky, at the waters, into the night. Trying so desperately to let go of the aggression, so you could keep trying. Inhaling the salt air before you walked back inside, you could do this. Every relationship had trials and tribulations, but you could be stronger, stick together.

As you were walking back, Finnick was jogging towards you, “Are you okay?" There was actual emotion in his voice, you longed to be privileged to it more often.

“Yeah."

“I thought I… " He trailed off, hand running through his hair. The way he looked like he might cry sparked guilt in you, but also a sick pleasure that he actually cared. “You're gonna get sick." Just as quickly his tone returned to being straight-laced.

You didn't care, if you were sick maybe he would take care of you. So you walked inside and he said nothing. You showered and changed, you'd gotten a new nightgown that left little to the imagination. Maybe you could get a rise out of him, get him to touch you more. But he seemed to be fast asleep by the time you left the bathroom, so you slipped into bed beside him. In the past he'd always sleep with his arms around you, but now you slept beside each other rather than with one another. It left you cold, despite the blankets, which were barely there as he'd always been a blanket hog, which you used to tease him for, but was fine because you were attached to him. Now you laid there and felt yourself crying. You cursed yourself for it, not right now, but you couldn't stop. So you covered your mouth with a hand as you sobbed into it.

The next morning you felt him wake, but there was no energy to make breakfast. You were exhausted and it hadn't made him love you again anyways. So you drifted back off until the sound of floorboards creaking when he returned woke you up. You sat up in bed as he entered the bedroom. “Morning, Finn." The smile you worked hard to maintain was back.

“Morning." He mumbled and then his eyes faltered on you. That's when you remembered the nightgown, it was a relief for something to keep his eyes on you. ‘Love me, even if it's just for my body, love me in some way.’ Your brain begged to no avail. “Shower." He slowly said even though he'd very obviously grown hard.

You felt humiliated, completely embarrassed to be dressed the way you were and him to still not want you. It made you want to cry again, but you had to persist. Rising to get dressed until you heard your name. It took you a second to process that he was moaning it, you were right there and he was getting himself off to the thought of you when he could've just had the actual you. That had to be a new type of low. You hadn't even dared to touch yourself no matter how badly you wanted him because you knew nothing you did could match the things he'd made you feel. Yet here he was, so easily jerking off. There was nothing you could do except seethe as you got ready for your day. At least it was your name and not some other girls.

You were in the kitchen when he walked downstairs, “Going to the market." He announced and you got up from your chair.

“I'm coming too." It wasn't a question.

"No, it's okay. I've just got a couple things to grab.”

"So do I, so I'll just come along to grab them. You don't even have to stick by me, I'm just going.” You were exasperated. Honestly you hadn't left the confines of Victors Village for a while, besides when you tried to recall your look, and this would be a good opportunity to see if he was being honest. There was nothing you really had to get, but at least you'd somewhat had his company.

He said nothing but waited as you put on your sandals and then the two of you set off. The silence was deafening as you two walked, your Finnick would always hold your hand, would've taken you from booth to booth and ramble on endlessly, buy anything you glanced at with interest, but now he stood too far away for your hands to even brush by each other. The bustling of the market was a relief and for the first time in a long time you naturally smiled. Although it was jarring how quickly Finnick put on a smile, made conversation with all these people when he hadn't blessed you with the same thing. In fact, it instantly dampened your mood.

“Haven't seen you in so long, missed seeing that pretty smile!" All your favorite vendors gushed and you'd smile, make small talk. Even if everything made you think of Finnick. When was the last time he'd called you pretty? When was the last time he kissed you?

“You look a little sad, are you alright?" And you'd insist you were just feeling a little under the weather. You'd somewhat kept your distance from Finnick until you saw him laughing with a girl in the market. When was the last time he'd laughed with you? Is this what he did, found pretty girls in the market, charmed them, and went back home with them?

You'd slowly approached and showed fake interest in one of her necklaces. “They're real pearls." She said. She was so pretty, stunning. What did she have that you didn't? You hummed, smiling and without a word, Finnick was handing you money.

‘I don't want your money, I want you to pay attention to me.’ You thought and shook your head, “I don't need your money, Finn." The only thing you'd want from him was something he'd pick out because he wanted to give it to you, something he'd always done if you hadn't been there with him. Showing up at home with little treasures to show off to you. He looked at you quizzically, it wasn't like you had any money of your own on you.

“Is this your girlfriend?" The woman asked, her voice was sweet like sugar, you were too gruff, that's what you were missing.

Right now though, your voice was breathy, anxious. “Yeah." The woman must have been able to sense something off because she looked at you with pity. Finnick left the money on the counter by you regardless of what you said and walked off. You sighed.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know."

You gave a sad smile, “It's okay, not your fault." You picked the money up, ready to go find him.

“He's just a guy, even if he's Finnick Odair, don't let him dim your spark." It should've been encouraging, except you knew you loved him too much to ever leave him.

You found him, chatting and smiling as he bought produce. You missed his smile. “Here." You said quietly, handing him his money.

“Where's the necklace?"

“Didn't need it." You didn't care about needing it, you care that he would rather have you buy things for yourself then make you feel valued.

He huffed, like you were frustrating him, annoying him. “Okay, use it to find something else then. You said you weren't going to stick around me." You couldn't stop yourself from physically recoiling from his venom.

“I just came to tell you I was going home." You said weakly, staring at the ground. “Have fun." Your voice cracked slightly and you didn't even bother looking up as you walked home. Immediately settling yourself into bed where you refused to move. Eventually he came home, something clicked onto the dresser table, the sun went down and you stayed put. When he crawled into bed the most movement you made was flipping onto your side to have the protection of your back facing him.

For days it was a cycle of laying in bed, only rising once he left, usually to stand under the burning hot water in the shower until your skin felt raw. Then immediately returning back to bed. He'd return, put something on the dresser, and you'd stay still. Eventually one night he'd come home and sat at your feet, mattress dipping. “We need to talk."

Your hands clamped over your ears, this was it, he was done with you, all that effort for nothing. The anxiety knotted in your stomach, “I'm gonna be sick." You forced yourself up and found yourself throwing up in the toilet, Finnick holding your hair back.

“Hey, it's okay. It's okay, sweet girl." When you were done you said nothing as you brushed your teeth, praying he would leave and forget whatever bad news he was surely bearing. But he didn't, he waited and sat on the bed, waiting for you. Who exited, arms crossed, trying not to cry.

“Please don't break up with me." It was pathetic to beg for but he stood up, looking bewildered.

“No, no, no, I'm not gonna break up with you, sweet girl. I wouldn't even think of it." His hands cradled your face and you melted into them.

Finally you let the tears fall, "Then what are we talking about?”

"I've been so terrible to you, a terrible partner, a terrible person. I…” He took a deep breath in, "I had a rough time in the Capitol, I always do, especially last time though. And I knew you would be able to tell and try to help, but it was easier for me to just block you out so I didn't have to deal with it. Because it hurts to think about." He was crying and it made your heart ache. "And I took you for granted. I didn't try to be there for you, I was selfish and I can't make up for it enough. I will spend the rest of my life making up for it.”

You were both sobbing and he pressed his forehead to yours. His hands were so warm, his touch was so perfect. "I want to help you.”

"I know.” He pulled his forehead away, putting his hands on your shoulders. "I need you to tell me how you felt. Not the sweet way you usually explain things, be honest, so honest.

You shook your head, “No, it's okay. It was just miscommunication."

“No, I think I nearly broke you and everybody else noticed before I did. I need to know your raw feelings, so I can attempt to make it up to you.” He let go of your shoulders and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I thought you were cheating on me.” You said quietly, anxiously playing with your fingers. He already looked hurt, "Like you found someone else because I wasn't, I don't know, fun enough, pretty enough, hardworking enough. And you didn't want me to do anything with you ever or notice anything I did for you." You took a deep breath, you could feel yourself getting angrily worked up and he could tell.

“If you're angry, be angry." He said and you obeyed.

“And I bought new clothes for you, changed my makeup routine, smiled more, made all your favorites, woke up earlier, tried to take on burdens and you said nothing. Do you know how lonely I was? How bad that made me feel about myself? One day you weren't letting me lift a finger, telling me you loved me, now pretty I was, and the next I thought I'd never hear any of that again, let alone have you touch me. No kisses, or hugs, you didn't even hold me when we slept! And you were so closed off and sometimes mean on top of that and all I wanted was your attention. Until finally I gave up because at least even if you weren't really with me, I still had you, and I didn't want you to leave me just because I found out there was someone else, which is so fucked. And then I thought, maybe at the very least, he’ll have me for my body, I had new lingerie, I tried and you didn't give a fuck. No, you got yourself off in the goddamn bathroom and I was right here!” Your voice had risen and your inhales were sharp between the ranting, "And everytime I hated what you were doing to me, I'd feel bad because what you've been through is so much worse and I should still try to be there for you. So I tried and then you'd be annoyed with me and it was like torture. And I swear to god, if you ever do that again, I'll leave.” A weight lifted off of your chest and he hugged you.

“I'm so sorry, I won't ever do it again, I love you so much, you're so pretty and kind and I need you in my life." You held onto him like he would slip away, kissing away your tears that were falling even though he was also crying. He held you until the sobbing had mostly subsided, “You know I bought you all these stupid gifts when you were laying there, thinking it would make you feel better, but I don't even think you noticed." He chuckled and you turned your head, not wanting to tear away from him. All you could see was the necklace from where you were standing. “Not that it would've done anything after all the time I spent letting the castle crumble around us.

"Thank you.” It was muttered and then he tried to pull out of the hug which made you whine. Trying to cling on forever.

His hand tilted your chin towards him, “You wanna put one of those sets on that you got for me so I can show you how pretty you are and how sorry I am for neglecting my sweet girl?"

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

sorry y'all angst is my default settings. thank you for reading, comments, likes, reblogs, feedbacks is all super appreciated. asks and requests are open, love you all, sorry again 💋

taglist: @wowzabowza69

[raisedbythetv89]

Never not thinking about how Buffy has to beg and plead for Angel to not let the sun kill him when the first was tormenting him with what he’s done and that fact that soul or no soul he still wants to hurt Buffy and he concludes the only way he won’t is to kill himself….. and the only reason he didn’t dust was the storm and he was fully gonna let her watch him die again because he couldn’t face what a worthless piece of shit and a monster even with the soul he really is (and then suddenly they’re back together even though Buffy said they couldn’t be together anymore like RIGHT before all this so essentially Angel threatens to kill himself and then suddenly he and Buffy are back together 🙃 i hate it here)

Riley was gonna let himself die rather than become even weaker than Buffy while she again begs for him to stop being a whiny attention seeking toddler and grow the fuck up and do what he needs to do so he won’t DIE (my words not hers obviously lol) and when that doesn’t work and she still doesn’t “pay enough attention to him or need him enough” in his eyes while she’s ya know being the slayer, raising her sister and taking care of her sick mother…. He cheats on her in a way that again threatens his own life and the lives of everyone he could easily kill in her life if he were to be turned and when THAT doesn’t work he threatens to leave forever unless she forgives him IMMEDIATELY

And Spike who is the only one to actually die after she again is pleading you don’t have to do this “no there’s still time you’ve done enough” because Spike knows Buffy doesn’t deserve “good enough” Buffy deserves everything, she deserves to be free of the hellmouth even though that means they can’t be together and he’ll die

Two man-children who threaten to kill themselves because they can’t handle what they’ve done or that they’re not as strong as they think they are and drag an overburdened and traumatized young woman they had no business even dating in the first place along for their self-destructive ride vs a man who literally already sacrificed everything he was to become someone she could love without guilt, sacrificing everything he fought to become, for her and her beloved world she loves so much and fights so hard to protect.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO MEN WHO THREATEN DEATH VS THE MAN WHO ACTUALLY DIED AND THE VASTLY DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING THESE THREE EVENTS 😭😭😭

Spike dying BECAUSE he was worthy of Buffy’s love rather than because he wasn’t like the two who came before him

[heartwrrm]

it's immediately clear that both the creature and victor find some of their greatest comforts in nature and that's one of the key features that connects them and proves they're not so different from each other, but i've also noticed that they tend to admire different TYPES of nature

victor tends to amaze at "the high and snowy mountains [...] immense glaciers [...] the rumbling thunder of the falling avalanche [...] the supreme and magnificent mont blonc" (65), typically finding the most comfort in the "savage and enduring scenes" (64) which tend to be colder and rougher yet unchanging; while the creature found that his "chief delights were the sight of the flowers, the birds, and all the gay apparel of summer" (94). there is probably something to be said about the creature's affinity for spring and summer, the seasons of rebirth, of NATURAL and beautiful life, a direct contrast to his unnatural, coldly scientific, "wretched" rebirth that he abhors so much

i was discussing this idea with a friend, who added that victor finding solace in the frozen and dead beauty of wintery environments, a typically less-favoured season, could reflect how victor often refuses himself the typical joys of life. throughout the novel, he struggles with his self-worth because of the guilt induced by his creation of the creature and the deaths that then followed, and the only reason he even desires peace and comfort is because he knows he needs to present himself that way to his family in order for them to be happy ("i [...] wished that peace would revisit my mind only that i might afford them consolation and happiness" [62]). i built on her idea by noting how the creature acknowledged that he "required kindness and sympathy; but [he] did not believe [him]self unworthy of it" (94), a completely contrasting stance from victor, who finds himself undeserving of the many comforts offered to him by his family

furthermore, it seems that victor finds beauty in glory & majesty ("[the scenery] spoke of a power mighty as Omnipotence--and i ceased to fear, or to bend before any being less almighty than that which had created and ruled the elements" [64]), while the creature finds beauty in warmth & growth. both characters seem to find what they desire(d) in the versions of the natural world that they admire most

to reference what i said in the beginning about the connections between victor and the creature, this observation only contributes to my understanding that victor and the creature are incredibly similar, and many of their identical traits involve a rejection or a reversal of the other; they both ardently wish for each other's destruction, they both ruined each other, they're the reason that the other is simultaneously a victim and a villain in their own sense, they both hate themselves but for reversed reasons (victor hates himself for what he's done rather than what he is, while the creature hates himself for what he is more than what he's done), and now this--they both find solace in nature, just opposing kinds. like father, like son

[flower-boi16]

Apology Tour Made Blitz Do The Right Thing for The Wrong Reason

There's a common critique of Apology Tour I've seen regarding Verosika is that the fact that she went out of her way to create an entire annual party dedicated to shitting on her past ex makes her look overly obsessive. While at first glance I can see where this argument is coming from I'd like to disagree.

Blitzo has been frequently established as a fairly destructive person who thanks to his own self-hatred ends up hurting others and pushing them away, the fact that there's this many people in the party shows how destructive of a person Blitzo is, and we see that it's not just limited to his exes, but people in general who he hurt (like Dennis, for instance).

And Verosika is one of Blitz's later victims who Blitz bailed on after she told him she loved him, a very vulnerable moment for someone to be in, and that's the point where Blitz broke her heart. And so she created this party both out of spite for Blitz seeing how much of a horrible person he is and out of sympathy for his many victims who were just as heartbroken by him as she was. She created this party so she could help the people Blitz has hurt cope with what happened and heal from it, creating a sense of community amongst victims.

Apology Tour shows how much Blitzo damages people, how his self-destructive tendencies always end badly for both him AND his victim, leaving his victim broken and making him more broken, the fact there's a whole party made for the sole purpose of helping his victims cope shows that. And Blitz is forced to see how damaging of a person he truly is because of this...or at least, that's the route the episode should have taken.

Apology Tour is an episode with an absolutely fantastic set up with Blitz going to a party where he sees how many people he's damaged and chooses to start becoming a better person, but the problem is HOW the show gets him to see that. The show gets him to start to change himself...through Stolitz.

Blitzo realizes how he hurts others through seeing how he hurt Stolas, who Blitz previously just believed was some classist dick and nothing else only for Stolas to pour his heart out in a musical number, making Blitz realize that Stolas' feelings were genuine all this time and what he was saying to Stolas did, in fact, hurt him...

...at least that's how the writers want you to look at this scene. However, thanks to the general problems with Stolitz writing this development ends up falling flat on its face. The reason for why this development fails despite the perfect set up is because the show is holding Blitz accountable for something he isn't even in the wrong for in the first place. I've ranted about Stolitz many times before but I'll just repeat the same points because it's relevant for my argument here; Blitzo had no reason to ever think that Stolas' love for him was genuine.

Throughout the whole first season, Stolas consistently looked down upon and belittled Blitz, calling him demeaning pet names and always invading his boundaries even when Blitz says no, yet Stolas continues it anyway. YET, the show tries to paint Blitz as biased here because "oh he only hates Stolas for being a royal and is repressing his feelings for Stolas due to self-hatred" or some bullshit.

However, once you factor in the outside context, Blitz never comes across as biased here whenever he rants about Stolas, because he doesn't have a reason to believe Stolas has any genuine affection for him beyond some small, off-screen "nice things" he did for him, and even then, you can still look down upon someone while caring for them. The show wants to present Blitz as in the wrong here for "hurting Stolas' feelings" and being consumed in his bias, but that doesn't work because Blitz had no reason to believe that Stolas didn't look down on him when he literally did.

But despite Blitz not being in the wrong in the situation, he's portrayed as the abuser here and he's the one who apologizes to his abuser, and HE says that Stolas "deserves better than HIM", making Stolas out as the victim here in this situation when the context and framing say otherwise.

Speaking of Stolas, many people have torn him apart this episode already so I won't go that in-depth here, however, it's still relevant to my point. The episode portrays Stolas as sympathetic here when he isn't - in fact, Stolas comes across as extremely unsympathetic in this episode due to claiming that he "never looked down" upon Blitz despite doing that throughout all of season 1.

He THEN gets angry at Blitz for not saving him when Striker captured him even though 1. Blitz was busy and 2. HE LITERALLY SENT HIS CO-WORKERS TO SAVE YOU WHY TF ARE YOU MAD???

Stolas doesn't have a legitimate reason to be angry at Blitz due to the outside context - instead, all of his interactions with Blitzo in this episode come across as him playing the victim and gaslighting him. And All 2 U is the pure culmination of this. A song that is supposed to be the moment where Blitz realizes his mistakes instead comes across as Blitz being repeatedly gaslighted and guilt-tripped into apologizing to his abuser.

HE is treated as the problem, HE is treated as the one who is meant to apologize to Stolas, even though he is NOT IN THE WRONG FOR THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yet, the show ignores past interactions for this to work. It doesn't address anything Stolas did beyond just making the deal - it acts as if that was the only bad thing he ever did even when Stolas did more than just that to Blitz.

Yet, that's never called out by anyone. Stolas doesn't have a good or sympathetic reason to be mad at Blitz - yet the show treats him as another one of Blitz's victims anyway. So, Blitz was essentially gaslit into becoming a better person, which isn't really great writing. Apology Tour had all the ingredients of a fantastic episode but it's severely held back by this specific aspect, Stolas drags the episode down so much and it sucks that the Stolas crap in the episode has to be tied to Blitz's development. Blitzo should have seen his mistakes through someone who actually had valid and sympathetic reasons to dislike him, someone who does actually come across as a person deeply hurt by Blitz's actions.

In other words....Verosika. Verosika should have been the character they used here, not Stolas. Verosika has an actually good reason to dislike Blitz and one the audience could actually sympathize for, SHE should have been the character to get Blitz to realize his mistakes and decide to change and grow as a person. Have All 2 U be sung by her instead of Stolas, with the song detailing how Blitz met and Blitz broke her heart.

Seriously, the concept of the begining scene and All 2 U can work, but they'll work better if you replace Stolas with Verosika in them instead, because Verosika has a good reason to dislike Blitz that could easily be expanded upon and developed, and Blitz would've had better reasoning to become a better person rather than being gaslit and guilt tripped into it. Apology Tour had all of the ingredients for a fantastic episode but the Stolass trash drags it down HARD.

[chaifootsteps]

tbh one thing i liked about the instas that i dont think the series will bring back is him wearing casual clothes outside of work. the concept of a gay male sinner from the 1940s embracing modern day fashion from the current era because of how cute it is without anyone caring because its hell, (with the implication he mightve been doing this for decades beforehand before he came to the hotel,) is just really cool concept to me :3 it gave him a fashion identity outside of his sex work (something the show really doesnt do at all,) and it let him explore a more cutesty side to his character, but in a really natural way! i also just liked it because most of the sinners we saw tended to stick to dressing from their era, which made angel stand out more.

but this isnt present at all in the series, and even weirder, the one time he has a chance to put on pajamas in episode 2 like the girls have, where hes alone in his room with fat nuggets, he doesnt. maybe we wouldve had time for that if there wasn't a joke dedicated to showing how tone deaf and christian charlies morals are for the bisexual daughter of lucifer morningstar.

all the clothes he wears, there's more of a focus of his outfits from posion rather then anywhere else. i hardly see as much fanart of that stupid ugly ripped finale suit, as much as i see fanart of the latex suit angel wears while singing about being unable to help swallowing poison. either that, or the outfit he wears while dancing with val. love the fluffy spider butt, but cmon. we can get an angel dust design thats more spider in a natural way, but we can't see him wear casual clothes when he isnt working? or even see him in a full suit? (i really miss the purple suit from the instas, no stupid pink stripes, full suit for both arms, and his boobs were out w his tie instead of being hidden away like they are in the finale, which was perfect for his character </3)

him wearing clothes separate to his identity as a pornstar also helped him reclaim some of his freedom under his contract, obviously being unable to choose what val makes him wear on set. that's what angel dusts actions reflected in the instas and the comics too. (the "work shit" box comes to mind, i hate that borderline on screen rape is fine for an amazon funded show, but a box of dildos is too much,) even the addict mv shows this, with angel wearing just a pink sweater and some purple shorts when laying with cherri. or even just the casual, but cute outfit he wears when he blows up that club with her.

its just one of the few things that made him feel human, especially when fashion is bound to change in so many ways when youve been in hell for 77 years like he has. this part of his character being missing (along with the implication he even has a life outside of his work in the series; pilot ad was coping with work with hard drugs, being an teasing asshole as a defensive mechanism, getting into turf wars and murdering mafia goons. but still dresses cute and gets to be cute w his friends in his own time! series ad is coping by self destructing and letting people drug and fuck him so he'll be "broken" but then gets better by going out once after being waterboarded at work, only to not relax and be a mom to a joke character at a club called fucking consent,) is one of the reasons im still bitter about the instas being nuked. but not the only reason.

viv will always takes the credit for them anyway, no matter if she feels they do or not, because her fanbase isn't smart enough to realize someone else wrote these stories they still love. even if theyll be the first one to remind you they arent canon, because the creator said they arent. but my honest to god confession is that sometimes the instagrams feel more like the canon hazbin hotel to me, even months after s1 dropped, simply due to the nuance and detail it has compared to the actual series. it wasnt perfect, but you could tell there was passion there- passion that now, only the leads are allowed to put in hazbin so their favorite character can get more screentime and attention.

Thank you, Anon, for this absolutely beautiful writeup. It was true, seeing the difference between the outfits Val forced him into versus the outfits he chose to wear on his own time was one of the most interesting aspects of Instagram Angel Dust. It was a more safe-for-work extension of the "work shit" dildoes that didn't make it to Amazon Prime (while his graphic on-screen gang rape did) and it was powerful.

Of course, there are practical logistical reasons why cartoon characters wear the same outfit, but if only one character in HH was going to have a big wardrobe, it absolutely should have been Angel. But of course it wasn't, because as far as Viv and Raph were concerned, the only Angel outfits that mattered were the ones that fed into their shared fetish.

[randomprose]

no use i just do

he may not understand it, but Sakura will always love Sasuke —for ssmonth24 day 24: confessions

Haruno Sakura loves Uchiha Sasuke. She loves him in all the ways that matter despite everything and anything. 

It’s just a fact of life—a universal truth. The sky is blue, water is wet, Naruto wants to be Hokage, and Haruno Sakura has always loved Uchiha Sasuke. 

Sakura doesn’t say it or throw around the phrase as much as she used to, but she radiates it. In every look she sends his way, in every word she speaks to him, the way her eyes always find his even in a crowded room or across a sea of people, the way she gravitates to him even without meaning to, and even the way she breathes when she’s around him. Everything about her speaks of her love for him. Her very existence itself is an expression of that unyielding and unconditional love.

To this, all Sasuke could ask is, "Still? After all this time?"

Sakura just shrugs, not even bothering to defend herself. Not like there’s anything to anyhow. Sakura has never been ashamed of her love. 

"Why?" Sasuke continues to prod, truly baffled. "There's nothing—I’m not—I’m just—” I have nothing to offer. “What do you even see in me?"

“You,” Sakura answers easily without missing a beat as if that’s enough of an explanation. “Just you.”

“And that is enough for you?”

“Well,” Sakura looks considering, hands clasped behind her and expression wholly open, always open when she’s with him. “It’s not like I didn’t try to stop. I did try to talk myself into some sense, you know?” Tried to make herself see reason and consider focusing her affections on Naruto instead—strong, dependable, steady, and safe Naruto who would never hurt or make her cry. At least not knowingly. There were other candidates too, of course. Sakura has long since passed that phase of self-doubt and insecurity, has gained confidence in herself and her skills, and knows full well of her worth. “I’m fully aware that I am a catch, Sasuke-kun. Even if you’re not aware of the fact.”

“No, I am,” Sasuke replies because he is, in fact, very aware.

“Good.”

“What happened then?” If she knows she could do better—so much better—how come it’s still him she chooses? “Why haven’t you stopped?”

“What can I say? I just couldn’t,” she shrugs again and her smile is lighthearted as she says, “Looking back, it all seems so silly. I tried to stop and I just couldn’t and after some time I just gave up trying to not love you. Sure, I hated you at times,  but that’s not the opposite of love, is it? Besides,” here her smile turns rueful, “I could never truly hate you, Sasuke-kun.” 

“Why?” he asks again, a tinge of desperation seeping at the word. How can she not hate him after everything? “How can you—What’s there to love?”

"What's not to love?” 

“Don’t answer my question with another.”

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” she retorts. “What’s there to love you ask? Everything. All of you. The good and the bad and everything in between.”

“Tch,” Sasuke shakes his head. “There really is no accounting for taste.”

“That there isn’t,” Sakura laughs, then she sighs. "It's no use, Sasuke-kun. I just love you."

It is in Sasuke’s nature as an Uchiha to self-destruct. It is also in his nature to be selfish and to take without giving, but for the life of him, Sasuke could never be selfish enough when it comes to Sakura. Because everything the Uchiha touches seems to get tainted and doomed to a life of loss, destruction, and heartache, but despite everything he has taken from her��and will continue to take from her—Sasuke cannot bring himself to damn her to a similar fate. 

“You should try again. To stop,” Sasuke says, looking at her imploringly with his mismatched eyes. "I'm broken, Sakura. Beyond repair.” He doesn’t know if he’s doing her a kindness by trying to make her see sense—because maybe she’ll listen to him if her own logic fails her—but Sasuke goes on to make his case against himself anyway. “There's no use trying to fix me. I can't be fixed."

"Is that what you think I've been trying to do all this time? Fix you?” Sakura says, throwing him a funny look before rolling her eyes. "Idiot. I've always known. Even when we were genin, I knew I couldn't fix you. That's not what I was or am trying to do. It never was."

"Then what is it that you want from me."

"Nothing! I just want to love you.” And it’s the truth too. It always was. Once she realizes what she feels for Sasuke is more than just childish infatuation and passing fancy, Sakura has never asked for anything in return for her affections. “The least you could do after everything is to let me."

Sasuke meets Sakura’s gentle gaze and considers her words. 

He supposes that, despite everything, he’s always known that it was always going to be Sakura for him, that it was always going to be them in the end, even when he didn’t allow himself to think about those things.

In the lofty years of his youth, he had often thought of returning to Konoha after settling the score with his brother and finding Sakura waiting for him. He had argued to himself that she was a logical choice and the reason his mind conjured her as a first—and only—choice was because she was his closest female companion being his teammate and somewhat friend. Not to mention, he found her the least annoying of the girls who used to fawn over him, never mind why he never questioned why he found it so.

And in the rare times that Sasuke has allowed himself to think of a future for himself after accomplishing his goals—misguided as they were—and beyond the battles and the tragedies he’s faced, it is Sakura who is a constant in those musings and the only one he sees himself with, be it settling down and continuing his other goal of restoring his clan or even just simple companionship for however long the fates shall allow Sasuke’s wretched life to go on. 

The fact of the matter is, Sasuke is to his bare bones a selfish bastard who has always thought of Sakura as his—just as much as he has always been hers as he has come to realize. 

(It does not cross his mind that Sakura is as selfish and as greedy as he is, maybe even more, in the way she loves him—how she would let Konoha burn rather than hurt him, forsake her duties if it meant she could be by his side, defend him to the death against those who speak ill of him.)

"Okay," Sasuke sighs in surrender, but it is of the sweet kind. “Okay.”

"Okay?” Sakura asks, peering up at him as if in confirmation.

"Yes."

Yes, you may love me and this time I will allow myself to be loved and reciprocate in the ways I know how. This is an act of selfishness as much as it is a kindness. For both of us. 

"Good."

The smile on her face is pleased and Sasuke lets the pleasant feeling wash over him with the knowledge that he is the cause of that.

“Sakura,” he calls to her, and her name almost sounds holy as he rolls off his tongue. Reverent like a prayer or benediction. Heavy with meaning and all the things that Sasuke cannot form the words to say.

Sasuke takes his hand and moves to close the gap between them. Sakura feels herself rooted on the spot, tensing when he steps into her space and loops his arm around her in an embrace. It takes her a second to relax and her arms to come up and wound around his waist to return the embrace. A memory comes to her unbidden and she pinches the skin on his back in warning.

"If you knock me out and leave me on some godforsaken bench again, Uchiha Sasuke, I swear to all your ancestors I will—”

Sasuke chuckles and squeezes her to him to stop her tirade.

"I already apologized for that."

“Tch.” Sakura puffs her cheeks and pouts, even as she lets him hold her against him and buries her face into his chest. "Whatever."

"I'm sorry. And thank you.” Two things that have never been easy for Uchiha Sasuke to say, but no one else has ever been more deserving to hear from him as much as Haruno Sakura. “For loving me. Even after all these years. Even when I'm—” 

"Batshit insane completely off your rockers and out of control?"

"Tch." Sasuke lightly tugs at the ends of her hair in annoyance, to which Sakura only snickers. He's trying to be sincere and maybe a little romantic here dammit and there she goes and ruins it. "So annoying."

"Ehh, you love me." She looks up at him with a teasing look and a cheeky grin before catching herself. "I mean—”

Eyes never leaving hers, Sasuke takes Sakura’s hand and puts it over his chest where his heart beats for her, hoping it’s enough for her to know even when he can’t find the words and the courage to say them yet.

I do. With all my heart and soul and everything that I am in my wretchedness, I do love you.

[silleegob]

HxH - Dodgeball Scene

Note: This isn't really an analysis but more of a rant, hence it being messy, haha .. (^^ ;) Everything is based on my own opinion too, so I don't guarantee it would satisfy everyone. But anyway, enjoy ur read! :3

(Chapter 166, episode 70.)

If someone asks me which HxH scene is the most misunderstood one, I would say it's this:

I've seen almost EVERYONE in this fandom say that this scene was very "selfish" and "insensitive" of Gon. But dude, c'mon. Do you really think Gon wouldn't give a flying fuck about Killua getting hurt just for his own benefit? He isn't that type of friend. In fact, he literally hates it when Killua willingly hurts himself, like he gets so mad and bothered.

Take this scene for example:

But what piqued my interest was how he still kept this moment in mind after a bunch of chapters later:

It shows how he still didn't forget about that situation, and thought about this self-destructive trait of Killua carefully. Pretty ironic for getting mad at Killua for being like this when Gon himself is also self-destructive, haha. It's like it's indicating that Gon knows how it feels like being self-destructive, so he's trying to stop Killua from feeling that aswell. Keep that in mind though, I'll be talking about it later on. :3

In the mean time, I think it's important to look carefully on to details even if it's tiny. I noticed a few things about this panel too:

Only Gon is drawn with a 💢, and he's also doing a ❌️ finger sign (it's so funny.) I get it probably doesn't have any deeper meaning but the fact that it's like that shows how much he dislikes it if u ask me. 😭😭 I mean, bisky just looks disappointed, not mad. Why not add a 💢 on her too? That's 'cause she's not THAT bothered by it, and it's implying the difference of how they take this trait. And well, Gon takes it SERIOUSLY. So point is, he's not insensitive when it comes to Killua intentionally hurting himself as we see him clearly despising it.

Anyway, remember how I told u to keep that one thing in mind? Yeah, Gon knowing how it feels like being self-destructive and all. We all know that the reason he does this is because he feels weak, and so he has this need to prove himself strong and useful to feel better, right? Well.. I feel like as time goes by, Gon thinks that Killua is also doing this because of the same reason. He notices how far Killua goes just to prove himself worthy too. So when he voluntarily decides to take painful hits in the dodgeball game, Gon encourages it instead. He knows how it feels to be seen as weak, not useful, and not needed. Taking risks for something, but people don't encourage that. They just tell you to stop, not knowing that it would just make you feel even more useless, making you feel like you did all of that for nothing because it was never enough. Gon is aware of that, so he does the opposite to Killua. Don't you guys get it? If he told Killua to just stop, Killua would feel unworthy and not good enough. He's going out of his way to help Gon, he free-willingly decides to take those hits. If Gon told him to stop, it would feel like rejection–that Gon didn't appreciate all that effort, and is techincally telling Killua that his help meant nothing. You can see how Killua was so desperate, he was so pushy with the "I can take one more hit!!! Gon, let me do it!!" and now imagine if Gon said no💀 That would be rejecting his help/an act out of love (platonic or romantic idc.) THAT would be the one that's ACTUALLY insensitive to Killua.

So Gon shows appreciation and encouragement instead, letting Killua's effort not be in vain. Saying stuff like how he NEEDS Killua to be the one that holds the ball for him, how he can't focus if it's not Killua–he needs Killua's help and Killua himself. All of that, is definitely what Killua needed to know too. It literally made him smile and felt more upbeat after, how could people say it was insensitive and would hurt Killua's feelings? 😭 He's happy to know that Gon does care about his efforts for him after all. ᵔᴗᵔ ♡

One thing I'd like to say though is that; That was still unhealthy for both of them. They think self-destructing is the only way they'll feel loved. 🙁 Of course I agree that it was most definitely bad, and it's not a good thing that Gon just fueled up Killua's self-destructive tendencies even more..😭🙏 BUT the point here is that, it wasn't insensitive and selfish of Gon in that moment, okay!?!? They both saw it in a positive light, even though.. it was definitely bad... but uhm anyways yeah, everyone should stop being so upset with this scene. You all are misunderstanding it and it's painful. 😔

But hooray thanks for listening!

[om0000]

⚠️ sorta longass post

i like the characterization of Peepers' n Wander's dynamic where Peepers fucking hates Wander's guts n wants him dead i think its funny asf but also like. what if he doesnt. cuz Wander is a lot of things to Peepers, his boss' most hated enemy (that he needs to capture but doesn't half of the time cuz he sees it as a waste of time), an inconvenience to account for in his brilliant plans (which he doesnt do at first, ex. The Brainstorm, but later even incorporates Wander into his plans sometimes, ex. The Showstoppers, My Fair Hatey), the idiot friend of his Esteemed Rival, a tactical weakness("pure unadulterated love") that he needs to train the watchdogs out of, ect ect, but that's all through the lens of either his job or other people. i dont think Peepers actually personally hates Wander. if they existed in a vacuum bro would have no beef with him at all. and i don't think he does? id even say Peepers barely knows him enough to form a personal opinion abt him. i might even dare to say Peepers didn't even actually begin to acknowledge Wanders intelligence n the purposefulness behind his actions in The Prisoner. the fact that he continues to disregard n underestimate Wander (again ex. The Brainstorm n more) could suggest that him admitting that Wander is a "cunning, sly and crafty genius" back then was only to convince Hater to deactivate the self-destruct. n u could argue that his disregard of him is pretty reasonable especially compared to how outrageous Hater's concerns w him sound even if theyre real (ex. The Axe, The It, The Brainstorm n more) but i feel like it goes beyond that sometimes. Peepers refuses to acknowledge him as a real threat, refuses to see his strengths and, i feel like, refuses to actually get to know him. even from an enemy standpoint, yk keep ur friends close n ur enemies closer, n it probably has its roots in his shaky pride in his own intellect n hence self worth(i think its so fucking funny n also kinda pathetic how during That's how we'll get her when him n Sylvia were striking poses in the last chorus he pointed at his fucking head, oh he wants to be the brains to her brawn soooooo bad) that would falter if he admits to himself that WANDER of all ppl is a genius, n that's smth that comes to bite him in the ass often — but imagine if he did. imagine him starting to realize stuff abt Wander, begin to understand him, willingly or not. imagine him getting to know Wander, without the lense of everything else they got going on. i think that just has so much potential for enhancing their dynamic n is so interesting... n ill probably never actually do anything abt it but its rlly fun to think abt. like imagine. imagine that

[st-whalefall]

I’m taking a big ol’ swing with this one so everyone please keep your limbs inside the vehicle until we reach our destination (let me cook)

So, what happened here? For this to go from-

Goofy ass grin <3

Summer: “Trust me..”

To this-

Raven: “The creatures of Grimm have a master named Salem. She can’t be stopped, she can’t be reasoned with, and she will not rest until humanity crumbles at her feet.”

Raven: To Ruby with disdain, “You sound just like your mother.”

Let me lay some of my cards on the table. I’m in the “Summer is still alive” camp and I got thoughts on: if Summer is still alive, why has she not been in Yang and Ruby’s life?

Not even a peep? For 14 years?

Something BIG had to have happened to her to keep her away from them.

Now, a lot of folks will go straight to where Ruby jumped to: Summer got Grimm hound-ed by Salem

But I think that’s takes a lot of agency away from Summer and the building revelation of her character and the purpose she serves in the narrative.

If Summer has been grimmified, I posit it was by her own doing, by choice. And her choice alone.

Qrow: “You’re special the same way your mom was…The creatures of Grimm were afraid of those silver eyed warriors.”

Salem: “Do you feel it? Don’t fight it girl. It can sense your trepidation. You must make it dread you.”

How does Salem illustrate the melding of Cinders flesh with the Grimm arm and mastery over it?

In the few instances we get, how are silver eyes described in their effect on Grimm? Obliteration, yes. Resistance to their influence? Possibly (see Ruby & the apathy). But command over them? Let’s explore that.

We are working with a pretty small dataset here, so you’ll forgive me for mostly drawing from Cinder for this (separate post I think the hound is a reanimated corpse and so different from true living hybrids like Cinder (& hypothetically Summer)).

Grimm evolve and Grimm hybrids, like Cinder, adapt.

From vol4 to vol8, Cinder’s Grimm arm grows. It spreads. And she becomes more comfortable with it as time progresses.

Cinders Grimm arm has become an integral part of her and, side note, I dislike theories that revolve her hypothetical redemption around her being purified of evil (Grimm) by silver eyes.

[But that’s just me, I want the monstrous to stay monstrous rather than erased or watered down for easy digestion. Let the monster stay a monster in its appearance and still be worthy of love, and so on and so forth.]

So, we come back to Summer Rose.

Summer confronted Salem, learned something earth shattering, destroyed Raven’s faith and trust in her, and did something that prevented her from returning to her daughters for more than a decade.

What did Summer do? Agency, we’re thinking strong choices here.

Choices that are radical but in line for a character with strong convictions, an alluded to pedestal she stands upon and all the complexes that comes with, perhaps a little self destructive, and a big heart. Big enough to sympathize with the devil and do something about it.

The thing that could be preventing Summer from returning home could be as simple as:

After she learned the truth about Oz’s shadow war, she joined Salem’s side, and won’t return until she’s seen it through to the end.

But I want to put some spice on there because what if:

After learning whatever it was Salem told Summer, that turned her world upside down, Summer looked down into the pools of black and took the plunge

To understand Salem on a molecular level

To be Grimm as Salem is Grimm

To be a world changer

In the world of Remnant, that’s what the Grimm are. A force of destructive change, like hurricanes and wildfires, they shape the world through calamity. Disaster doesn’t feel any one way about you, it just is. It is devastating, but it doesn’t hate you. And it doesn’t love you either.

So, what would that make Summer?

How do you think that’s changed her, fundamentally?

Bloody evolution indeed.

And that’s why she stayed away. Summer changed, and now she looks a little more on the outside how she feels on the inside. But to the rest of the world, she is something horrifying. Unspeakable.

She didn’t want to give her girls nightmares.

Yeah, Summer was the inspiration for the Hound, and Cinder’s Grimm arm. But not in the way Ruby thinks.

[frasier-crane-style]

I think it's fair to say that by the finale, No Time To Die is a complete mess. To wit:

It makes no sense why MI-6 would send two OO agents (one retired) to storm an enemy compound and not the Royal Marines.

Safin has no plan.

Bond's death is confusingly overwrought and silly. Is he really mortally wounded? Is he committing suicide because of the nanobots; he's not even going to try to find a workaround? Does he have no choice but to sacrifice himself? Why is it so important that the naval bombardment happens right now? They're the British Navy--they can't just seize these cargo ships full of bioweapons that everyone's so scared of?

That one scientist declaring he hates black people and then getting killed in cold blood by a black government agent who yells "It's time to die!" is almost schizophrenically dumb--as we all know, civil rights don't apply to bad people--but, you know, pick your battles)

Here are my fixes.

Bond and Nomi aren't the only attackers, they're just sneaking in to lower the defenses from the inside so the Royal Marines can get in and take on Safin's private army. They did this all the time back in the day--including in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which NTTD hugely references--so I see no reason why Eon can't mount a large-scale battle sequence today.

Safin's plan--as he, of course, explains to Bond--is that he blames pretty much the entire world for collaborating with and enabling Blofeld. Either by being outright under his influence, as is the case with the national leaders and wealthy who were part of Spectre--or by being even average citizens who tolerated corrupt governments and the One Percent. His plan was to demonstrate the efficiency of Hercules on Spectre and then kick off a biological arms race among world governments as everyone scrambles for either Hercules or a counter for Hercules. This will kill millions as Hercules is used, then retaliated against, ad nauseum. It's inevitable. Even now, Nomi is no doubt under orders from M to secure Hercules for further development by the British government. "The bigger picture," Bond mutters, remembering Le Chiffre telling him that he could get away with torturing and killing him.

Bond realizes Safin is right--and kills him, natch--and decides he can't allow ANYONE to take possession of Hercules. It is simply too dangerous a weapon for even his own government to have. He sets the base to self-destruct and defends the control room from the Royal Marines who are now trying to take him out to stop the countdown. Would it be too cynical to give him a 'old versus young' showdown with Nomi? Personally, I think it'd be a better final fight than Bond taking on one tiny nerd, but what do I know? At any rate, M orders the Marines to pull out at the last minute and Bond is presumed killed in the blast, which irrevocably destroys Hercules and all knowledge of how to recreate it.

M is, naturally, pissed about Bond's last act of defiance, but still toasts him and respectfully declares 'Well-played, 007.' We'll leave it ambiguous as to whether Bond actually died or if he survives to reunite with Madelaine, now having completely severed himself from MI-6.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

A brain dump of thoughts after Agatha All Along ep 6:

Okay but like. The parallels between Agatha and Billy that we get to see now????

Both of their mothers chose to protect other people, complete strangers, over their own children??? Like. We know Wanda made the right choice, sacrificing her family for the greater good, but in her own twisted way did Evanora believe she was doing the same? Did she ever love her daughter? On some deep level, beneath the anger and hatred and warped sense of justice did it hurt her to try to kill her own child? She believed Agatha would bring countless death and destruction, that she was destined to be evil. As warped as her justifications were did she see it as a selfless sacrifice like Wanda's? Does that make it right? Does Billy have as much reason as Agatha to be angry with his mother for choosing to let him and his brother die? Do her truly selfless intentions matter to a child was just desperate to survive? Will he be able to forgive Wanda before that resentment is used against him? Is Agatha just trying to manipulate him by taunting him about Wanda or does she truly see a bit of herself in a child whose mother tried to kill him? (Edited)

Both of them were forced to do something horrible just to survive??? Agatha had to murder her own family. Billy had to steal the body of a boy who had just died. He had to pretend to be the child of these poor unsuspecting parents who just want their son back. Who have no idea their child is dead. The Kaplans will never get to bury William. He has to look them in the eye every single day knowing he's not really their son but what else was he supposed to do? He hates what he's doing to these people but what choice did he have? Could he even control it or did his soul instinctively seek out a new vessel to protect itself? Agatha was just a child who didn't want to die. Billy was just a child who didn't want to die. Were they selfish? Could they control it? Can we truly blame them if they could?

Both of them do terrible things when they feel backed into a corner or overwhelmed or emotional??? Things that they come to regret as soon as the emotions clear??? Billy looked horrified when he finally realized what he had done to Lilia and Jen but he's an intensely powerful and traumatized child who was overcome with grief and anger. Do we really think every single one of Agatha's kills was 100% self-defense? Do we really think she never killed someone in a fit of anger only to regret it after? And maybe Agatha has come to accept and embrace that now but she must have been like Billy when she was young. (Billy is literally the same age Agatha was when she killed her coven and was even younger when he took William's body) She must have been horrified at her power, at the things she did when she felt trapped. She must have bent over backward trying to defend herself and justify her own actions before realizing no one would believe she didn't want to do those things so she might as well embrace her power to its fullest potential ("I'm not that nice").

Both of them are walking the road for someone they lost??? I know Agatha says she's on the road for her power back but that's not how the road works, right? It doesn't give you what you want it gives you what you're missing. I think if Agatha was really able to get anything at all in the world, it wouldn't be her magic. Agatha is looking for Nicky. Billy is looking for Tommy. I don't know if either of them will really get that at the end but they are absolutely in this for the same reason.

I know there are mixed responses to this episode (at least when I first scrolled through the tag) but I for one really enjoyed it. I was really worried they were going to half-ass the explanation for why Billy was being Like This and fuck up one of the only queer Marvel Comics characters but comparing his actions to Agatha's and showing us this kid who is SO MUCH like how Agatha must have been when she was his age is so much fun actually. Like, it would have been really great but pacing-wise we probably couldn't have spent the necessary time going back into Agatha's past and diving deep into her progression from "scared child who does horrible things out of desperation for survival" to "cutthroat witch who is more than eager to hurt and betray others for her own personal gain". But we get to see it happen to Billy over the rest of the season and maybe even multiple MCU projects!!! Or maybe we'll get to see him make different choices. Maybe Agatha will be able to give him the chance no one gave her. Maybe history doesn't have to repeat itself. Maybe Billy's journey will give Agatha the chance to change her own story once and for all.

Idk this is really rambly and maybe my opinion will change as I think about it more but my first reactions are positive. Yeah on a meta level it sucks that the wlw couple is moving so slowly in their own show while the young, conventionally attractive mlm couple got to kiss within their first few minutes of screentime and they probably could have put in the effort to intentionally combat the miserable lesbians trope. But on a story level, I'm personally glad they're not rushing Agatha and Rio's arc. They're definitely going to get their moment but the reason they're so compelling is because of their history and the tragedy between them. We don't have all the details of what really happened between them yet but I don't think it's something you can just kiss and make up about. Billy and Eddie are teenagers with no real baggage between them. Agatha and Rio have possibly centuries of hurt and anger and betrayal to work through Let Them Cook! It'll be that much sweeter and their relationship is one of the CORE overarching plots of the show you don't want them to rush it. (Also I personally am too ace for the "we're gonna make up by having hot sex about it" type of conflict resolution and would have hated if Agatha and Rio were intimate before sorting at least some of their shit out but that's just me ik a lot of people would have enjoyed it and I'm sure it could have been really compelling but I actually cannot stand those kinds of plots most of the time.)

Also just keep in mind that the only other named queer characters we've had in the MCU literally ever are Phastos and Ben in the Eternals and like. Yeah it shouldn't have taken this long for a queer lead but the massive jump??? We went from one character (out of like ten mains) whose partner has minimal personality traits and like five minutes of screen time to a show with two main character on-screen queer romances!!!! In the Marvel Cinematic Universe??? And one of them is a season-long complex and interesting story that is a central plot of the series and not just half-baked fanservice!!! And one is just sweet innocent love between kids who care about each other!!! I do wish wlw stories didn't always have to come with attractive cis gay men but do y'all understand how huge this is for the MCU????? It shouldn't have taken this long and we can definitely criticize the negative tropes the show falls victim to but net positive progress is always something to be happy about. If you're not familiar with the greater MCU and the history of Marvel in general just understand that this is actually insane for them and I'm so excited for the doors that just opened for future queer storylines, but that can only happen if we show Marvel that, yes we do want queer characters being openly intimate on screen. Be happy for Billy, keep being happy for Agatha and Rio during all stages of their story and maybe we'll get to see more of this!!!

[pain-indeed]

Every time people characterise Susie it's always some variation of either :

A cold hearted bitch who cannot be redeemed. She has always been a horrible person and won't change. She just wants power.

or

A pure angel who can do no wrong of her own, who regret her actions. She just wanted to see her father again and save the world.

So here's my offering ;

A sweet and innocent but spoiled child who looses everything stable and reliable in her life, from her loving father to her bright future in a rich company. Suddenly, she is trapped in a chaotic, unstable world, scared and lost. To survive, she becomes crual, independent and calculating, because everything in this world is.

She has gone from the second mentionned characterisation to the former.

But when she finnaly return, her world has changed, too. She's frustrated and spitefull against Haltman for not remebering her. She absolutly wants him to, at all cost. So she becomes the company's secretary, climbing the ladder in order to aproach him and make him understand. But to do that, she needs to do horrible stuff, like mechanize planets and stuff. But since she 's already abandoned her morals a long time ago, she has no problem doing it, as long as she gets what she wants.

Sometimes, she looks at herself in the mirror, at who she is now. She regrets her past and self life and will do anything to retrieve them. But she can't stop thinking about wether it's even possible in the first place. However, there's only one way forward at this point. So she stiffens up and prepare for the next invasion.

Eventually the Haltmans invade Popstar. There, Susie meets a knight like those she'd heard of in fairytales. Regardless, she won't accept someone standing in her way and endangering her plans. Also, taking him away could help her proove her loyalty and secure her position untill she can save her father, so she does. She doesn't care about his consent, his resistance, his life. Perhaps she even takes some pleasure in having control of something for once, in seeing someone beside her suffering. She scoffs as he helplessly resist because she thinks she's been trough worse. Right now, only one person matters to the secretary.

At the begginning, she does'nt mind Kirby. He's just some native, unworthy of her attention. That is, untill he raids the company and she, and her weapons are unable to end him. And eventually...

Haltman, her father, the man she's been relentlessly trying to bring back, her whole reason to live, dies.

Because of her poor timing.

In the adrenaline, she helps save the world an herself from destruction. But as the mechanisation wears of the planet of miracles, the realisation of what just happened hits her. She takes off this stupid planet wich took away her future. She hates that kid for killing her father, she hates the knight for not successfully killing the kid, she hates herself for failing. The tought of ending it all crosses her mind.

But she stiffens herself once more ; the only thing left of him, his company, awaits her. It's almost destroyed, but it can be saved. To preserve him trough his will to bring eternal prosperity. To avenge him, too. So she spends her blood, tears, and sweat to rebuild the Haltman company, far away from any star.

When the world is in danger, she decides to help the Star Allies put an end to this threat. Not out of kindness. But because she wants to observe them, learn their weaknesses, to eventually exact her revenge and assert her dominance on the entire galaxy.

Anyways, that was Susie's character as I see it. I see her as a bitch ass villain with a lot of sad things going on that made her like that. From my perspective it's possible for her to have a redemption arc later when she joins the Star Allies, maybe one day I'll post about that.

I absolutly love to talk about possible character interpretations, especially about how a character can be completly traumatised :)

Hope you enjoyed 👍

[cookiethebirdthing]

The Youkai at the End of the Bridge

Parsee Mizuhashi felt the pain before she even realizes she is jealous. It was a pit opening in her stomach. A gaping maw that was filled with naught but bitter scornful jealousy. It was indistinguishable from hunger. Perhaps this made sense; it too demands sustenance—to be fed.

But she was used to it, too. It hardly lessened the pain, but it did tell her it would pass. That shortly it will be as if it never happened. But it is happening. It did happen. She couldn't deny it, but she will soon forget.

She averted her gaze. Why did she do this? She knew. She knew what would happen. There was a reason she didn't visit Yuugi at work. Or at home. Or anywhere really. Why should it matter if she talks to someone else? It might be nothing. She doesn't know for sure. She can't. Not that it mattered; she didn't own Yuugi. They weren't even dating. Not that it would change that.

And so what if they were? If a (hypothetical) girlfriend wanted to see other people, that wasn't a problem. She wasn't possessive. She wasn't monogamous. She knew this. She wasn't even interested in Yuugi that way. She knew it wouldn't end well. She knew she didn't actually love her, no matter how much she knows she does. It isn’t real.

Parsee needs to talk to her, needs to hear her voice, needs to know she isn't being cast aside. She knew she wasn't. She knows she is. She knows what she did is wrong. She knows what she said is wrong. No matter how many times Yuugi lies to her through her teeth, pretending everything is alright in the world, she knows that’s all it is: lies. She knows that Yuugi has to lie to her. Her friend isn't stupid. No one could miss how unstable she is, how quick to anger she is, how quick to be consumed by jealousy she is, how quick to break she is.

Yuugi knows this; she's been the cause of it more times than Parsee could count. She knows exactly how Parsee would react. So, she lies. And even if she doesn’t know all that, who could just tell someone to their face how dreadful—how absolutely despicable—they are?

She ran. She ran all the way back to her pathetic little bridge. She ran straight into the hiding place she dug in the earth beneath it. The door slammed shut behind her, but all she could hear was her own heartbeat thudding in her ears. She wants to scream, to break something, to hurt someone, to hurt herself, to do anything that matters. No matter how much she wishes to get closer to the one who causes her pain, she knew it wouldn't help. She can't burden her closest friend with that: with herself.

And so she hid and waited for it all to pass; to be back to normal or as close as she ever could be. She didn't do any of the self-destructive things she desperately needs to do. She knew it would pass. But soon enough it will be back. It always came back. At just the slightest touch she cracks. She always does.

Maybe if she told Yuugi, it would be better. That's what that satori always said, right? Communication was important. No other being could read minds. Hated as she was, that satori could find it in her to help Parsee.

And yet the ones who have it all only seemed to hurt her. Yuugi, who was the closest thing this cursed prison had to a ruler, is out there smiling and chatting, oblivious to the pain she’s causing. She's out there making new friends. Friends that are better than Parsee. Friends that she doesn't need to avoid because they’re too much. Friends that she isn't eager to take any chance to be free from. Friends she doesn’t regret showing kindness to once upon a time. She knows better than anyone, even a mindreader, how to hurt Parsee. She knows what she is doing.

Tears rolled down Parsee’s cheeks. It was all too much. She knows that Yuugi will never need her in the same way she needed Yuugi. And so she wept, deeper underground than even the most hated of youkai: where she hid her heart such that no one will ever find it.

[uponawhitehorse13]

For Saber, Caster, and Rider from FSN; how do you think they feel about their True Names vs their Class Names, especially once in a relationship??? Do they prefer for their lover to use one over the other??? Assuming this is either post Grail War or in an intimate setting where they are alone and there is no risk of their True Name being overheard by an enemy.

Ok so first and foremost we need to lay a lot of things down because this isn't as simple as it may seem. The reason servants are called by their class in the first place is that their identity could give away their powers and the element of surprise is important in a battle royale. Due to this there's also really no way to know you're not being watched at any point in the war. If we're talking about any post HGW relationship the usage of their class name would come about simply as a force of habit.

Second due to Fate being a japanese franchise a lot of the way characters use names and surnames is dependant on that culture with first name usage being seen as intimate or used to show a character's inexperience with societal customs or their different cultural background.

Saber wouldn't care about you continuing to use her class name and feels no shame towards her name or surname and would not mind being called by them. However neither really roll of the tongue so that would probably lead to some sort of nickname being used which would end up probably being Saber again with her real name being used in intimate moments.

Caster similarly wouldn't mind either her class or true name. I do feel she would have a leaning toward sappy couple stuff like "honey" and "dear". She does very much hate being called a witch.

Rider has a lot of self image problems so she might have a dislike for her true name due to what it's associated with. You could try to work with her through her issues getting her comfortable with it or maybe using a shortened version like "Dusa".

The most interesting would actually be Archer. Both Shirou and Kiritsugu are simply called EMIYA when they become counter guardians. I think this is because while they are their own people the Emiya name symbolises the self-destructive dream and sense of duty they both end up following (which they fucked up with Kiritsugu's dad but that's a whole new can of worms). So him getting called Shirou would be a really emotional moment with him remembering how much he has lost himself.

Sidenote but this is also why Saber x Archer is one of my favorite ships ever. Because Saber getting saved by Shirou and then seeing him after he ended up worse than her and having to "return the favor" in a way. Because while she almost destroyed herself for her ideal Archer basically ended up in a personal hell. So her calling him Shirou reminding him that even after everything he's still the boy she fell in love with. It's peak.