#even if that's logistically not gonna work out you still Get It.

[lordirony]

Trying so hard not to publicly talk shit about the new Anberlin song, trying so hard not to show how absolutely bitter I am. it's fine it's fine! It's Fine!

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

[darlingdreadwrites]

I read your Toby fics, and I really love your writing:D

I see your open with requests and I wanted to ask a Toby x final girl reader?

They just kept fighting against him, and he somehow gained a crush on the person he is supposed to kill? It's fine if you don't ;D

I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS I SQUEALED WHEN I READ IT!! i hope i do right by you, my lovely anon.

pairing: Ticci Toby x Final Girl F!Reader

summary: Toby thought you'd be an easy target since you were just a girl. He should've gone with the easy kill when he had the chance.

contains: getting chased by a man wielding two hatchets, slight pov switches but it's still in second person, idk what else to put

warning: violence, gore (more like imagery is gore-y), MEAN TOBY, reader gets hurt, toby gets hurt, me not knowing how to write fight/tense scenes and the logistics that go with them, barely any talking cuz i think toby would be too embarrassed by his stutter

word count: 1.6k

masterlist

a.n: when i read final girl in the request, i pictured reader wearing those outfits that female japanese horror game protags wear (picture fatal frame). i’m gonna keep the end ambiguous for you because my freak brain wants it all to work out perfectly for them, but the other part of my brain wants to keep it realistic cuz there’s no way in HELL i’d let someone forcing me to run live. if you want me to continue where i left off i’d be so glad to (and you can pick whichever type of “route” you want). ENJOY!!

The cool, night air gave you chills all over as your feet pounded against the soft forest floor under your feet. With every quick step you took, another short burst of breath escaped your lips. It felt like you were being pushed back by a sudden gust of wind, but the trees continued to look blurry in the corners in your eyes, and that was a good thing. You kept your pace – even if it felt like the breeze kept poking needles into the cuts on your skin.

You had decided to actually dress up today but stayed mindful enough for the fall weather. So, you weren’t exactly dressed for the occasion. Maybe next time you decide you want to get attacked by some psycho swinging hatchets; you’ll be a little more fucking prepared. 

The whistling of said hatchet reminds you of why you were running. The sound of his weapon whirred by as it lodges itself deep into the bark of a tree. It’s already behind you as your mind yelled at your body to keep up. His other hatchet thwacks into a tree too close to your head and you scream involuntarily. You stumble to a stop stupidly, stabilize yourself, and drag your body to pivot and sprint to the right.

You weren’t sure how long you could keep going. But - as much as your lungs burned - that buzz that came from fighting for your life nagged at you like a bitch. You don’t care how much your body hurts because you will deal with the consequences later.

You’re not going to let yourself die.

Toby grunted as frustration and anger seethed in his veins. Wrapping his hands around the handle of his hatchet, he kept his eyes trained on you as he struggled to pull the thing free. He’d all but forgotten that the other one was a few feet away. He wasn’t normally fond of losing his favorite toys. He wouldn’t lose you either.

You were a stupid, stupid girl, after all.

His head violently twitched to the side compulsorily when he finally dislodged his weapon. A few wood chips flew out and landed on the muddy leaves below. He stood there, taking and letting out deep breaths.

He thinks about what might be going through your mind as you keep running. Maybe about how you were gonna get out of here, call the pigs, and have some nurse tend to the wounds he gave you. He smiled and tightened his grip on his hatchet as he fantasized about your naïve hope. He knew these woods like the back of his hand.

You wouldn’t make it out of here in one piece.

You slow down as the structure of a house comes into view. It fits the eerie atmosphere perfectly – chipping paint, broken windows. You’re not here to admire the neglected building, though, and you stomp up the small steps. The door lets out a low groan as you practically shove it open using your shoulder.

Slamming it behind you, your head whips around for the exit or some type of weapon. In the distance, you can hear the shrill whistle of the man outside, an involuntary thing, you’ve noticed. Just how long have you been fighting this freak? Enough to learn his quirks, that’s for sure. 

Delving deeper into the house with hurried steps, you look around for a kitchen. Find a weapon, find a weapon, you repeat to yourself, the sound of your quick gasps filling your ears. You catch yourself on the doorway when you almost rush past it.  

You barely stepped foot into the room before crying out when you felt something make impact with your back. The dull, heavy pressure sends painful shockwaves through you. Having the wind knocked out of you, the muscles in your back spasm and you buckle forward. He shoves you, and you wheeze as the edge of the rusted stove in front of you digs painfully into your stomach.

Your eyes immediately land on a cast iron skillet, and you think you have less than three seconds. You smash the pan against the side of his head, your grunt and the metal clang the only sounds in the room. You were confused as to why he wasn’t yelling out in pain. But your arms jerked upward, the heavy iron bludgeoning into his chin and he stumbles back.

Toby can hear the ringing in his ears with each blow to his head, his world spinning for far too long than he would’ve liked. He snarls and grabs your arm, throwing you in the direction of a wall hard - causing you to drop your makeshift weapon.

He looks at you, at how your legs shake as you try to steady the world around you. Look at you - you looked like a fawn. With your wide eyes and trembling form. Guess he’ll be your coyote, right? He’d sink his teeth into the side of your neck and stain his maw with your crimson flood. You were just pretty enough that he couldn’t wait to watch your eyes roll back when he greedily kept the air from inflating your lungs.

No, but you weren’t a fawn, were you? He’d seen more fight in you than any of the losers he was tasked to kill. They sobbed – they fucking begged on their hands and knees – to keep him from tearing them limb by limb. You were stronger than he thought you’d be, but you weren’t as agile as he was, he thought.

His face stretched as another wide, sinister grin spread across his face. His gloved hand tightened around the hatchet’s handle. He could hear the leather creak if he focused on anything other than your breathing.

You duck and stumble out of the way as you hear the spitting of wood above your head. He yells out a loud “fuck!” and attempts to yank the weapon free. You run out of the room and almost collide with another wall. You pivot on your heel because there was no way you’d run away from the front--

Gasping, you caught your balance before you could fall through the gaping hole on the floor. No time to jump, you told yourself, and you spun once again. Sprinting down the hall, you were met with the door to a room rather than any kind of exit.

You’d remember to set this house on fire when you made it out alive.

The room stunk of decaying carcasses and a thick powdery smell – the former outperforming the latter. You make your way to a second door and find yourself in a bathroom. You think there’s nothing here heavy enough to hurt him until your eyes land on a towel rod that hung loosely from the wall.

With a determined tug it comes out and you know he heard it. You can tell by the way you hear his heavy boots scramble in the direction of the room. You take a deep gulp of air and press your back against the wall next to the door.

The air was heavy with tension as the door creaked open. His shadowy figure stretched on the floor, and he walked right in. Would he turn around? Would he sense where you were before it was too late?

While he twisted around, you slam the rod into the side of his head. He’s disoriented for a moment, his head rolling to the side. Before he could react, you lifted your right leg, and the bottom of your shoe made contact with his stomach – sending him hurtling back.

Toby lets out a groan as he loses his balance and falls into a tub. His limbs sprawl out, legs and arms dangling from the sides. He attempts to move when a raw, guttural scream that causes his chest to tighten makes him stop. His eyes dilate as he stares at you wildly. Something about your scream has shaken him to his core. His head was still dizzy and a little numb from the force of your hit. And yet he couldn’t help but admire your resilience. He should be livid – breaking all your fingers and pulling your pretty little teeth out of your mouth one by one.

The man’s tics overtook him, his eyelids squeezed shut with a sudden intensity. He opens them again, and you’re still rooted in the same spot – breathing heavily. He’d never seen a girl look as hot as you did right now. He didn’t think that was even possible in your state. Your clothes, hair, and face were caked in mud and blood from your gashes. A girl like you should’ve been screaming in pain and crying for her mommy. But you stared at him with a burning defiance that caused his heart to pound violently against his chest.

His hatchet lay at your feet, and he realized that you had gotten him. You won. He could try attacking you again – he was bigger than you – but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He can’t fight back anymore; he just stares in what he can only assume is awe. Years of taking lives and witnessing more gore than anyone ever should, could not have prepared him for this moment. You didn’t stop – you just couldn’t. It was… admirable. Beautiful, even, if he was a more sentimental person.

You piqued his curiosity like nobody had ever done before. He wanted to know what made you tick. He wanted to study every movement, sound, and judgement you’d ever make. You could break all the bones in his body, and he’d come running back to watch you do it again when the Operator put him together again.

You astonished him.

So, what’ll you do now?

[kingkatsuki]

Don’t mind me— trying to get back into writing and having more delusional thoughts about Bakugou.

Going wedding dress shopping and Bakugou is gutted he can’t be there with you, even though he’s been reminded numerous times by his mother that it’s bad luck for him to see the bride in her dress before her wedding day.

“Didn’t your mum tell you not to call me today?” You grin when you recognise his caller ID.

“She would say that when she’s the one that gets to see you in every dress.” He replies, instantly hitting the button to change it to a video call, “I just wanted to see how you were gettin’ on, I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” You coo, “But it is bad luck.”

“It’s just a superstition,” He scoffs as you answer his FaceTime call inside the fitting room, smiling sheepishly at the assistant as you pan the phone up to ensure your fiance doesn’t get a glimpse of the dress, “How unlucky can I be if I’m marryin’ you anyway?”

“What if you see the dress and then decide not to marry me?” You tease, glancing at your reflection in the mirror as you look at yourself in the dress.

“Fuckin’ impossible,” Bakugou snorts, shaking his head as he frowns into the phone. Red eyes glaring from behind his Pro-Hero mask as he continues his patrol around the city, “You’re stuck with me for life now, woman.”

“I hope you’re still saying this when you see this dress—“ You tease, knowing that you’ll have to go out and show your wedding party soon. All of them probably sipping on their champagne and wondering why this dress is taking so long.

“This dress?” Bakugou’s ears perk up at the words, “Are you sayin’ that’s the dress, sweetheart?”

“Mmm maybe,” You tease back, interrupted by a knock at the door as Mitsuki’s voice sounds from the other side.

“Are you okay in there, darling?”

“I’m fine, Mitsuki.” You call back, “I’ll be out in a second.”

Turning your attention back to the phone you purse your lips into a pout to blow a kiss towards the screen, “I’m gonna show your mum now and then I’ll know.”

“Oh come on, baby. Don’t be a tease—” He groans, “Flash me. Just do it quick—”

“Katsuki!” You chastise, wide eyes now staring at the grinning fitting assistant, “Don’t say it like that— your mothers outside.”

“So? You’re gonna show her anyway.” A heat rises to your cheeks at the implication of his words, hoping that Mitsuki hasn’t heard as you move to hang up on him, “Come on baby, please. I need to see what I’m gonna fuck you in after the—”

“Katsuki!”

“Ain’t it better to work out the logistics now, sweetheart?”

[coldwind-shiningstars]

Dungeon Meshi is obviously primarily about food, eating, and crucially survival through eating, but it's also focused on other aspects of survival. Sleep, rest, social ties and social exclusion. There's even extensive commentary on things like personal grooming (Marcille’s hair, Toshiro becoming depressed and no longer shaving), clean bathrooms, and other things. When it comes to disability these things are referred to as instrumental activities of daily life (IADLs), which are more complex things like shopping, housework, and cooking, which people need to do to survive, and activities of daily life (ADLs) which are the basic bare bones needs: eating, toileting, etc. Dungeon Meshi is concerned with the logistics of living and finding joy in those logistics.

This is super related to disability! Yes, Laios is autistic, this has been apparent from the beginning. But what does being autistic mean for him and the story? Mostly, it means his desires, goals, and the ways he goes about achieving them are strange, foreign, or baffling. He has different priorities than other people and the way he expresses those priorities are strange. They affect how he socializes, how he eats…

So, it absolutely makes sense that there would be a minor sideplot about activities of daily living and what it's like to be out of sync with everyone else when it comes to prioritizing things. It's Mithrun Time (he's gonna mith all over the place) and I'm so SO interested in the interplay of disability, caregiving and the logistics thereof, and intersectionality & privilege. Who needs care? How do other people feel about them needing care? How do they receive that care? And who do we think is worthy of receiving care and how does that interact with all these other factors?

Bunch of manga and extras spoilers past the cut:

“So, what's wrong with you?”

I see a lot of people talking about Mithrun's non-eye disability as a depression allegory, which I think is true, but I think it's also metaphorically/symbolically both a traumatic brain injury and a trauma response to sexual assault. The sexual assault aspect is pretty clear if you look at any of the symbolism of the actual disabling event: just look at it.

Mithrun is lying in bed and the goat comes to him, lifts him up and puts its mouth on his abdomen and lower pelvis. The eating is sexually charged, as is the particular way he struggles and protests. It's intensely violating, and things that were once desirable are lost. And the dungeon lord group therapy session involves a lot of people talking about the demons like an abusive lover; Mithrun, even though he wanted to kill the demon so badly, still says that they're gentle.

As for the brain injury, chronic TBIs can cause a wide variety of symptoms. Some immediately relevant ones are anhedonia (lack of enjoyment), executive function issues, poor interoception (trouble understanding what's going on in your body), cognitive impairment affecting ability to reason/multitask/plan/solve problems, changes in behavior and personality, depression, agitation, and restlessness. We see… basically all of these, in Mithrun, as downstream effects of the loss of desires. He can't tell when he's hungry, tired, or out of mana; he can't perform ADLs consistently even if he knows he'll die without doing them and dying without doing them will interfere with his long-term goal, he had drastic personality changes, he oscillates between impatient and totally withdrawn.

Brain injuries can also affect more complex tasks and ability to sustain lengthy periods of complex cognitive work. A common example is losing the ability to read and process longer passages; maybe you can read the words but you can't read a paragraph, or maybe you can read paragraphs but now you get a migraine after 15 minutes. Mithrun's skill loss is not related to reading but the effect is similar – he is and was extremely skilled in a particular area of magic, but also disabled in ways that specifically hinder his skill in this area – to teleport things properly you need depth perception and a sense of direction, and he lacks both of these! And while he's still an incredibly effective fighter it seems like he pretty frequently makes those sorts of mistakes.

This is treated often as a gag and it is genuinely funny but it’s also very real, to no longer be as good at the thing you were good at before you became disabled. Kui takes several throwaway gags seriously later on, not just this one. Another ~gag that's not really elaborated on is the bathroom thing, but I appreciate its inclusion anyway, since even if it's presented humorously it doesn't feel meanspirited in a way a lot of “diaper jokes” do. I think people need to talk a lot more about bathroom issues in a wide variety of disabilities, and I think it's nice that a guy I can already picture the “poor little meow meow” posts about also has this issue, you know?

Preferences vs Desire

Even referencing PTSD and TBIs it's hard to really grasp what having no desires means, and the characters don't generally ask, while Mithrun explains it in vague terms. “Desires” is a very broad term and indeed he has lost access to a wide but related variety of things. Unfortunately this lead to him often being treated as nonagentic.

Mithrun does still have preferences, even if he doesn't express them and has no desire which would drive him to seek out pleasant things and avoid unpleasant ones. He'll comment on the taste and texture of foods, for example – sure seems like he has an opinion!

People treat it like his preferences don't matter since he doesn't usually bring them up unprompted, and he's often in situations where there aren't other options.

Kabru seems best at not doing this (and, noncoincidentally, also seems to be the best at actually caring for him; the Canaries have a lot more Resources theoretically than Kabru And Mithrun Eating Monsters And Kabru's A Bad Cook, but although they are loudly distressed by the two of them disappearing it seems to have positively affected Mithrun's general health)

But, uh, acknowledgement that someone has preferences at all is a really low bar to clear and Kabru also doesn't seem to fully understand how Mithrun's brain works. Mithrun’s caregivers want him to eat when they want him to eat. They want him to rest and drink when they want him to.

He lacks the desire for a number of mundane things but also seems to lack the ability to tell when he needs them. He can't explain why he faints; is “I am out of mana” considered a desire for more mana, one that can be eaten? He can't sleep on his own; it's not only that he lacks “the desire to go to bed” but he can't do anything with his own exhaustion, even if he notices it. He comments on the unpleasant taste and texture of several meals; he may be unable to want to not eat it, but he definitely can tell when he dislikes something. But he also seems to be unable to tell when he's hungry.

Kabru will acknowledge these preferences but there's not really other food options, and Everyone Must Eat. Kabru doesn't know the details of Mithrun's condition yet but you can see the immediate frustration here and the way he offers food to him like Mithrun's a child.

Sure, he won't directly communicate preferences, so that makes it extra hard, but you can always just ask, and if he tells you he tells you.

The pathway between opinion and taking actions about it may be lost in Mithrun but the dungeon forces other people into a similar position – it forces them to eat food they don't want to eat so that they can survive or accomplish other goals. We've seen this with Marcille from the beginning. It's difficult with Mithrun because it seems like there is always going to have to be some sort of someone else overriding his autonomy – yeah, he's not hungry but he still needs to eat or he'll faint. Yeah, he's lying about whether or not he's clean but he still needs to wash or he'll die. Yeah, he needs to take a rest instead of keeping moving or he'll faint. But he's not unique in being in a situation where he has to do nonpreferred things. The difference is more that he lacks the ability to independently do anything when it comes to ADLs, preferred or not, which makes it into someone else’s choice and responsibility.

There's also a theme in Dungeon Meshi that comes up a bit of people being pushy about ADLs but from a slightly different perspective, and they're usually right. You see this in Senshi most commonly; he pushes the residents of the Golden City to actually eat even if they don't need to and can't taste it, and while he's correct in that Yaad does get enjoyment from the food even without taste he's still not quite listening to Yaad. Similarly, Kabru is correct in that he can get Mithrun to sleep without a sleeping spell, but he also ignores the way Mithrun says several times that he doesn't expect massage to work. There's a few aspects to this – wild but expected that the elves would choose the “just knock him out with a spell” route, the “easy way” Senshi always talks about when it comes to magic, instead of actually paying attention to other solutions. But also, generally, people know their bodies best, and sometimes even if you're really sure you have the trick to help them you have to listen to what they tell you.

tvtropes dot org frontslash DisabilityTropes

This is going to be a harder section just because it's so subjective; it's nearly impossible to think about the ways in which disabled people are viewed by the people around them/wider society with any degree of objectivity just because there are so many factors that go into it. But I do think Mithrun is consistently treated as relatively nonagentic and there are several ways this can manifest: being treated as a doll/pet/child, being treated as a weapon, and being a surface for people to project onto.

He's framed or treated as childlike intermittently through the manga; scattered about, just a little vibe in the way he's drawn, like the "say aah" above and Pattadol and Cithis through the teleportation scroll :

That's a middle aged man! And he's framed like a toddler getting picked up or misbehaving.

Which doesn't mean they care about him any less; his squad is really fond of him for someone who's technically like their parole officer. How dare you do this to our captain! They love him dearly; this is obvious and he comments on it! They respect him, too, as the leader and as a strong fighter. But loving someone and thinking they're a skilled fighter doesn't mean you respect their autonomy fully.

There's also an element of everyone projecting their own issues onto him; Kabru with their shared Dungeon Trauma. The canaries all suggesting wacky, midlife-crisis desires. He doesn't ever express that he minds any of this, except when they try to stop him from making particular decisions. They also don't often understand why he'd be motivated to do a particular thing, and in fact some of these projections may actually be correct! But while noodles and pottery may be good later-on goals for him, I think it's striking that a) Kabru was the closest to correctly guessing what desire Mithrun might acquire now and he was still guessing the exact opposite (suggesting a desire to not eat Falin but to help Laios, vs Mithrun's actual desire, which was to eat Falin with no thought given to the promise he made at all) and b) it's a desire that actually makes perfect sense with what we know about him, not something totally new.

And, finally, he's a weapon: people are willing to caretake him because he's good at killing things dead. If his only desire is to kill demons dead, it's easy to start seeing that as who he is. I don't think he'd argue that “trying to kill demons” takes up the majority of his life (it's his only goal and he's obsessed with it) but even if there's only one thing that matters to him he has autonomy (in the sense that he can make his own choices about what to prioritize and formulate his own plans) and personhood.

Politics and privilege – who gets to access care?

One of the things we're first presented with when it comes to Mithrun is that he is intensely capable at handling dungeons. Yeah, there's the immediately visible prosthetic eye and the navigation issues, but the Canaries are built up as being incredibly dangerous and skilled, and he's their captain; they all immediately defer to him. He's intense, he curbstomps an entire room of guards, he's efficient, he's brutal, he's strong physically and magically.

In short: yeah, he's very disabled. He's also still very useful.

At the risk of oversimplification, even within his particular disability, he's much more disabled than Marcille is (she lost something relatively simple and easy to miss, she has no catatonia-moment) but less disabled than Thistle, who seems to still have at least one desire related to the king but is still primarily catatonic. It seems like Thistle is not unusual among ex-dungeon lords, even if there's enough noncatatonic dungeon lords to form a support group later. When Milsiril finds Mithrun, she immediately intends to mercy-kill him – this seems to be a condition the elves are familiar with but consider terminal, at least to the degree Mithrun is affected, and people seem unfamiliar what it means to keep living in this state because Mithrun is unusual in that he survives at all. And he's “allowed” to survive initially because he's not as disabled as he could have been (still has a desire) and that desire is useful. They aim him at the dungeons and off he goes. It takes twenty years for him to recover enough to do it, sure, but they're elves. They can wait. He can still be useful.

Relatedly, when he loses the ability to pursue his desire he's immediately much worse off than he was previously.

The no-desire catatonia is something that can recur and the elves continue to not know how to handle it. If Kabru wasn't there to problemsolve I think he'd have just… stayed there with his increasingly distressed squad.

Speaking of his squad, there's also a fascinating power dynamic going on with just the inherent structure of the Canaries; criminals are assigned as his caregivers. There's the inherent unfairness to the criminal Canaries about them being given extra duties, this strange rich noble guy who's now their Responsibility. There's so much possibility for resentment in normal caregiving relationships, much less being forced by your jailor into caregiving someone. But there's also an element of the power the prisoner Canaries now have over him and his most basic ADLs and needs. Assigning Cithis to his care is such a can of worms! The dynamics of the situation are frankly awful for both of them; of course she resents him initially. It would be strange for her not to. When Pattadol catches her making Mithrun do embarrassing things, she instantly reminds Cithis of her lower-status – she's forced to care for this nobleman and then forcibly reminded that she's beneath him.

She's responding to having menial, low-status tasks forced on her by trying to humiliate him, and although he doesn't have the ability to care enough to stop her it's still a deliberate removal of dignity. He's the instrument with which she is punished and she punishes him in return (until it's not fun anymore and she understands him a bit more.)

Mithrun is a long-lived race, who has structural power over the shorter lived races simply because of how long they live. The dwarves and elves try to actively keep certain knowledge from other races, restricting their access to technology, and other expressions of distance. Senshi spends nearly the whole first season not listening to Chilchuck trying to explain that he's an adult and treating him like a child, and Kabru repeatedly says that the elves do the same thing (and tbh we see them doing it). There's even the fact that it took him twenty years to recover enough to join the Canaries again; a shorter-lived race might have died from old age in this time, or become too old to work in this capacity, and then wasted away without the drive to return to the dungeons. But they're elves; the other elves can afford to wait, and he's not going to age out of dungeoneering any time soon. Being an elf probably contributes to his wealth in the same way skin color contributes to wealth inequality in the real world.

Dungeon Meshi doesn't really go into race in the sense of skin color much, and Kui is writing from a different cultural standpoint than I am. While tallmen are quite accurate when it comes to skin/hair color (yes, even Kabru and his blue eyes; it's rare but possible) and cultural references, the elves, uh, absolutely are not, both in the sense of “dark skin & pale hair and eyes trope” and sense of the royals having jet black skin.

Still, I feel like race is so connected to care and caregiving in the real-world west that I would be profoundly remiss not to mention it. Skin color might not matter to elves in the racism sense, but it matters to humans and humans are the ones writing and analyzing this story. (And I fully expect as the fandom grows with anime-onlies people will like Mithrun more because he's white (has white features) than they would if he had darker skin, because fandom is also baseline racist.)

I don't think we can just not mention that Mithrun is pale-skinned and both Cithis and Kabru, his primary caregivers over the story, both have dark skin.

Racism means white people are more likely to get good medical care, the type you need to get diagnosed and prescribed caregiving. Racism means wealth distribution is uneven, favoring white people. Race affects immigrants taking on undesirable jobs like caregiving for low pay. Racism is a profound stressor which means it contributes to who becomes disabled in the first place in that it can worsen health outcomes.

Similarly to race, gender may not be very obvious when it comes to this subplot within the story but the gendered dynamics of caregiving in the real world are something I do want to touch on. There's an oft-cited statistic about how men are much more likely than women to divorce their partners when their partners are diagnosed with a serious condition; I don't like relying too much on those sorts of statistics because they can be so misleading but it does gesture at something very real, culturally. Even if men aren't supposed to be caretaken, women are supposed to be the caretakers. Certainly, it's not Mithrun's fault that he can't cook and can't do laundry and probably can't do most housework, but I do also think about all the posts passed around about “my boyfriend who won't do housework.”

Again, none of these privileges make him less disabled and less in need of and deserving of care, they're just worth talking about when we talk about caregiving in general.

It's Rotten Work, Even If It's You

People expect disabled people receiving care to be grateful, to accept anything, and to try and make it easier for the caregiver if they're able. Requiring care is an incredibly disadvantaged position, even as actually receiving it can be so tangled up in privilege. Caregiving is tremendously difficult work, it's true, but there's a particular vibe people want from disabled people – all those movies about not wanting to be seen as a burden. Never complaining. Being grateful.

And, uh, well…

Mithrun basically accepts anything his caregivers do, but he's not grateful at all! I appreciate that in a disability portrayal. He'll also lie to and ignore his caregivers, which is Annoying but is definitely an expression of autonomy even if he's probably not doing it specifically to express his autonomy. He's not going to thank you. He's not going to make it easy. He'll accept a lot of things considered “undignified,” and he's not mean or unpleasant in the sense that he's taking advantage or anything, but he's certainly not a model patient.

He's running off back into the dungeons just when you think you've finally gotten him somewhere safe.

There's always a strange tension in caregiving, I've found. It is incredibly intimate but a lot of it is done by total strangers. A number of caregiving tasks are viewed by the wider world as entitled but placing those tasks in the hands of strangers is a remarkably tough place to be in. As a disabled person, I've had to accept my bowel movements being discussed with my parents’ friends, all sorts of being physically moved places not against my will but without my permission, even my pubic hair being shaved off by a stranger (nurse) while I was unable to speak or move. When people are feeding you, making sure you use the toilet, rubbing your feet to make you sleep, helping you with hygiene – people are working so hard to help you. Are you supposed to just accept them doing whatever they want to you?

There's also a dynamic where people will say they don't mind caring for you, they're happy to do it, and then as the years go by and you continue to need care the resentment just builds up. Caregiving is hard work. It's often thankless. The goodness of people’s hearts can run dry, when it's been twenty years and you still can't bathe yourself.

Aaand I need to continue in reblogs, because I'm out of space for images. Please hold. edit: you can find part 2 here

[whenlilyfallsinlove]

not today

ant x reader, probably gonna have multiple parts!! i am so in love with him stop.. there's a severe lack of heartbreak high work on here!!!

was it wrong to be in love with your best friend?

you often debated the logistics of this question every night before you fell asleep, when all you could think about was him.

anthony vaughn. your best friend since diapers, the ned to your peter, the ron to your harry and everything in between. you were together that often he had his own place at your dinner table.

it was an unlikely pairing, really. people often deemed ant as an idiot, which sometimes you couldn't refute. he had made lots of stupid decisions over the years, you couldn't deny that.

"YOU THREE DID WHAT?!" you screamed, as ant had a guilty look on his face.

ant, spider and dusty had made up a rumour that amerie had slept with jojo, the teacher of the group you both had been forced to join - SLTs. this resulted in jojo being fired, and a huge protest involving yourself, ant and the rest of the group sleeping in woodsy's office.

"it was dusty's idea!" ant exclaimed, trying to defend himself. he hated when you were mad at him.

"yet you still went along with it?" you scoffed.

"spider did as well." he protested.

"of course he fucking did." you rolled your eyes. as much as you were best friends with ant, you hated his other friends. they were cunts, mostly.

"look (y/n) i'm sorry-"

"i don't think it's me you should be apologising too." you interrupted him, firmly.

ant sighed, and you hated yourself for how you really can't stay mad at him for too long.

"look.. i've already apologised to amerie. we just.. i just.. was mad. SLTs is so boring y'know? and amerie is the reason we're there anyway!" he said.

"it was still wrong of you." you replied, but your eyes softened.

"cmon (y/n), you can't be mad at me forever." ant said, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

you sighed, and playfully rolled your eyes.

"you're right, i really can't." you groaned and he got up and tackled you into a hug.

"get off of me, you smell awful!" you protested weakly, yet you still wrapped your arms around him.

you were screwed. well and truly.

you, on the other hand, were deemed as someone smart. someone respected. it confused people how you were so close, when you were just so different.

you didn't even want to think about how your friends would react after finding out about your feelings. that's why you told no one.

however, it seemed that you weren't as secretive about your feelings for ant as you thought. amerie's map. you couldn't look him in the eyes for a week after that.

loud voices were heard as you, ant and spider approached what seemed to be the talk of your year group. you looked up to see a map, a map full of names of everyone that you knew.

"what the fuck.." you muttered, your eyes roaming the map, taking it all in.

you see your own name, with lines between dusty and cash. you scoff. it didn't happen. whoever made this clearly relied on rumours that had once gone around about you.

"darren jerked you off.. nice bro, you into dudes now?" spider's voice, directed at ant, brought you from your thoughts.

you looked at the map to see ant's name connected to darren. you raised an eyebrow.

"fuck off spider." you roll edyour eyes.

"what, you jealous?" spider responded, making you clench your jaw.

"still mad i rejected you, yeah?" you replied. ant laughed at your response, making you feel quite proud of yourself.

"bro, ant and (y/n) have that same line between them that mine and amerie have." dusty's voice spoke up, pulling you from your argument with spider.

confused, you looked up to what he's talking about. your eyes widened. he was right. in all your anger about the other lines coming off your name, you had failed to notice the gold line between yours and ant's name.

"what the fuck does that mean?" ant asked, also looking up.

you look to the key.

"destined.." you muttered. you were mortified. destined? how had these mystery map bitches both fed your delusions and humbled you at the same time?

"the fuck does that mean?" ant said. to a normal person, you'd probably be offended that your crush of many years had that response but to you, you didn't care. it was likely he genuinely did not know what it meant.

"you're destined to be together, ain't that cute?" spider teased, smacking ant on the back.

you avoid eye contact with ant for the rest of that day. when it was revealed amerie created the map a small part of you wanted to ask her to elaborate. you still haven't asked ... yet.

you could never confess your feelings for him. there was no way you would. years of friendship would be on the line, if he said no.

you'd wait. wait until it was the right time.

anthony vaughn was your best friend, and you were in love with him.

one day you'd confess.

just not today.

[janeyseymour]

Just Sex

Summary: Melissa is hooking up with the chief at the firehouse, so you decide that you can have your own fun.

WC: ~2.1k

After the failed relationship and proposal with Gary, Melissa has been going out to bars and staying out late at night. She finds herself in bed with quite a few men and women, and while she’s not thrilled that she’s back to this lifestyle, she’s impressed that she still has what it takes. Getting older did not make it any easier to attract people.

But then one night she sees the fire chief out at the bar, one thing leads to the other, and they’re in a friends with benefits sort of situationship.

Of course, all of this comes out when you’re renewing your CPR training certificate with the Abbott clan, and Barbara has made it quite clear that she’s upset Melissa didn’t tell her of this relationship before.

You had been busy trying to pass your test, but now it’s your partner’s turn to go, and you tune back into the world around you.

“But if I were gonna label it, I would say it’s just sex,” you hear Melissa tell her work wife in a low voice.

You don’t really know what she’s talking about, but you shrug it off. That is, until Janine comes back into the room and asks for the gossip. Barbara of course goes off, claiming that her friend of over fifteen years trusts her no more than a common street stranger. It becomes apparent to you that whatever hookup situation they’re talking about has been going on for a bit of time now. You feel a nasty pit settle in your stomach at that.

That pit only grows when you go out with the crew after the CPR course to celebrate the fact that you all passed. Of course, conversation leads back to Melissa and Jacob both having sexual relations with people from the firehouse.

“Well, I think I blew that one,” Jacob groans as he finishes off his aperol spritz. “But let’s talk about you, Mel Mel.”

“There ain’t nothin’ to talk about,” the redhead waves him off. “It’s just casual sex.”

“Casual sex that’s been going on for how long?” Barbara asks with a raised brow.

Melissa purses her lips as she thinks. “Couple weeks now?”

“A month,” Jacob cuts in. “C’mon, Melissa. When are you just going to admit that you like him?”

“I do not,” she states very clearly. “I just need something to take the edge off for me, and… he does that.”

“How kinky is it?” Ava asks, a smirk on her face.

Jacob opens his mouth, and Melissa very quickly shoves her hand over his mouth. “You say a word, and you’re out on the curb faster than you were out with Zach.”

The man’s eyes widen, and he nods quickly. She pulls her hand away from his mouth, and he breathes a deep sigh in relief. 

“I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along,” the second grade teacher says as she finishes off her beer.

Barb turns to look at her work wife with a curious face. She knows of the little crush that her best friend has on you. Melissa just nods at the kindergarten teacher’s silent question.

But you don’t take it that way, because you have no idea that Melissa has had her eye on you since before she broke it off with Gary. You see it that you have no chance with your favorite coworker at all.

Feeling as though you could burst into tears at any given moment, you quietly excuse yourself from the rest of the outing and head for your apartment.

“What was that?” Melissa furrows a brow and purses her lips as she gazes in the direction that you left.

“I’m sure it was just a long day for her is all,” Janine tries to come up with some sort of logistical reason as to why you would leave early. “I did have a meeting with her before school even started today, so she’s been up for quite some time.”

Everybody seems to accept that reasoning, and they continue on with their night.

The next day, you march yourself into Ava’s office bright and early.

“Girl, what are you doin? I’m tryna get this knot out of my back,” your principal groans as she shuts off her personal back massager.

“I need your help,” you tell her, not even bothering to acknowledge that she isn’t doing her job at all.

“With?” She leans forward just slightly in her chair.

You smile at her. “I know you know a bunch of people… set me up with someone?”

“Oh, girl,” she laughs. “What’s gotten into you? Every other time I’ve asked if you want someone, you decline!”

“Just… thinking I should get myself out there,” you shrug. “You know? If Melissa can do it, so can I.”

Ava’s jaw drops. “So this is about Melissa.”

“What?”

“I knew you had the hots for her!” the principal grins. 

“What? Not! I- I just figured, if everyone else can have at it, so can I?”

“Oh, girl,” she laughs in your face. “This ain’t you at all, but I am in full support of it. Give me til the end of the day, and I’ll have someone for you.”

You end up going out with a woman that night that Ava set you with, and you do end up actually liking her… and she’s pretty damn good in bed.

The next morning, you’re practically glowing while you drink your morning coffee in the break room. Julie, the woman that you ended up in bed with last night, is texting you about maybe meeting up again later this week.

And if you weren’t still in love with the redhead that comes in a few seconds later, you would say yes. Instead, you send her a text that says, Maybe. Kinda busy the next couple weeks.

She texts you back a picture… a rather scandalous picture. And you blush when you see it.

“What’s got you all giddy today?” the redhead asks as she leans over. She sees the picture before you can close out of it, and her eyebrows creep up her head.

“Who’s that?”

You shrug. “Just someone Ava set me up with.”

“Ava?” Melissa asks in disbelief. “How long have you been seeing her?”

“Not long,” you tell her. “It’s just sex, really.”

The redhead folds her arms over her chest. “I didn’t think you were like that.”

“I’m not, but I figured I might as well give it a shot,” you say. “Now, I have to head to my room to finish up some of my grading, but I’ll see you later.”

You don’t have any intention to see her later. And you don’t. You pull back from her and her group- although most of them still find their ways to you. It’s mostly just the redheaded second grade teacher that you avoid. And it happens that way for a few more days.

You’re in the break room heating up your lunch when Ava comes in. “Girl! Are you gonna text Julie back or not?”

Melissa makes her way in, and you sigh. “It’s just sex. I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along,” you unintentionally repeat what the second grade teacher had said out at the bar. The microwave indicates that your food is finished, and you pull it out before heading back down to your classroom for lunch.

You miss the scowl on Melissa’s face, but Ava sure as hell doesn’t.

“Girl, you jealous or something?” the principal leans in with a smirk.

“What would I be jealous of?”

“That someone else is hitting that hot piece of ass,” Ava says like it’s obvious. The second grade teacher rolls her eyes, but Ava continues. “I see the way you look at her. Practically undressing her with your eyes every time she walks into the room.”

Melissa crosses her arms again. “I can’t believe you set her up with someone if you knew I like her.”

“I was hoping it would give you a swift kick in the ass that she was gonna start hoeing it up,” Ava shrugs. “Now admit that you’re jealous before everyone else comes in here.”

“Okay, I’m jealous,” the redhead relents. “But it don’t matter anyway. She isn’t lookin’ for anyone- she just said that.”

“She said, and I quote, ‘I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along. And girl, you’re that person for her!”

Everyone else starts filing in, and Ava makes it so that she looks impossibly bored, although she is actually quite the opposite. “Okay, I’m leaving this snooze fest.” She heads out, but not before giving Melissa a subtle wink and tap on the wrist. “Get it, girl.”

That day, Melissa sits thoughtfully during her lunch period about what Ava said… maybe she’s right? But she can’t be sure, so after dismissal duty, the fiery second grade teacher heads down to the front office and bursts into the principal’s office.

“Schemmenti,” Ava grins. “You do it yet?”

“I ain’t doin’ nothin’ until I’m positive Y/N has a thing for me too,” Melissa sits down across from the woman. “So tell me what you know.”

Ava spends a long time telling the redhead about the various times she’s caught you checking Melissa and only Melissa out, how you always seem to linger around her during events, how the two of you are almost always partners for things now and how you being around always makes her soft and you absolutely bask in her warmth. She even confesses that you went down to her office to ask her to set you up because of Melissa.

“You convinced yet?” the principal asks after ten minutes.

Melissa bites her lip. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I’d make a move quick though. She said something about potentially seeing Julie today.”

“Isn’t that going to piss off your friend that Y/N might leave her for me?”

“She ain’t my friend,” Ava says as she files her nails. “I made a dating profile for Y/N and picked the first mildly attractive woman I saw.”

“You’re unbelievable sometimes,” the redhead pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Maybe, but ain’t you gonna go get your girl?”

Melissa stands from her chair and thanks the principal before rushing out and down your hallway. She hopes to catch you before you head out for the night. And of course, because you’re a dedicated teacher, you’re still there prepping for tomorrow. She knocks on your doorframe and leans against it.

“Just a sec!” you reply cheerily, not turning around yet. You’re hands deep in soil for the gardening project that your students will be participating in tomorrow.

“I don’t got a second,” Melissa says. You whip around at her voice.

“Hey,” you sigh, all joy in your voice gone.

“Don’t go out with Julie tonight,” the redhead tells you.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I want you to go out with me instead,” she tells you seriously.

“You’re dating the fire chief,” you deadpan.

“I ain’t dating nobody because the only person I want to date is you,” the redhead admits.

That gets you to drop the dirt that is currently in your hands. “What?”

“I told everyone I was just having casual sex and wasn’t looking for a relationship unless the right person came around because… because the only person I would want to be in a relationship is you, and I didn’t think I had a chance.”

“Melissa, are you an idiot?” You ask her. “I’ve shamelessly flirted with you since you broke it off with Gary and practically thrown myself at you in hopes that you would pick me instead of some random hookup.”

She crosses the room, and she’s kissing you before you even know what’s happening. You instinctively kiss her back, and… wow. When you pull away, you quickly wipe the dirt off of your hands before pulling her in close again.

“Don’t go out with Julie tonight,” she pleads again.

“Don’t go out with the fire chief anymore,” you mumble against her lips.

She nods and mutters, “I already called it off. You cancel on Julie, and meet me at my place?”

You end up at Melissa’s house within the hour, and she wines and dines you. And then you end up in her bed seeing stars. Your legs tremble for what feels like forever before she makes her way back up to you.

“And just so you know,” she husks into your ear. “There ain’t nothin’ casual about this. This ain’t just sex.”

Tags: (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22

[melodic-haze]

What if breeding and overstimulating Ei? Fucking her through her orgasm and continuing to fuck your dick into her abused hole, fucking your cum deeper into her pussy to make sure she takes all of it....

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Ei x dom!amab!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Reader with a dick, dumbification

☆ — NOTES: Blame Miko 🤷‍♀️ but also I've been wanting to write Ei and/or Miko for so long THANK YOU ANON

Put me and her in a room and I'm not gonna be the one coming out pregnant just saying 🫶

Realistically this is probably (definitely) Miko's fault for getting into her head, but she had lent her a book that she didn't realise was.....less than innocent

It was a novel that described some rather salacious scenes that had Ei go from confused to surprised to flustered.. and then to that feeling of neediness welling inside her. It's got her thinking of you and what you can do to her, which then eventually led to her personally seeking you out for a bit of a 'reading session' 🥰

Mini thought dump so if you don't wanna read then skip this point. Ok as someone who loves getting into logistics and how things would work hypothetically, I find this situation funny bc like. If Ei can model her body to whatever she wants it to be bc it's synthetic, which means taking out whatever she deems unnecessary, then would she have a reproductive system? Would she deem it important?? Would you even have anything to insert yourself into or is she just. Cursedly smooth

Anyway thought dump over, sorry for the crisis even though you were expecting 🌽. MOVING ON

It's hard to believe that the woman you're dicking down is Inazuma's very own revered Archon when the one you've got underneath you at this moment looks so unbelievably fucked out and far off: eyes clouded and rolling to the back of her head, fingers digging into the sheets, mouth glistening with a mix of your saliva and the drool on the corner of her mouth, hair out of its normal braid and surrounding her like some kind of purple aura

And that's not even accounting the occasional spark of electro here and there to which she had initially apologised for. Though that was before she became all dumb and lost all sense of thought and responsibility, her mind practically turned to mush as you keep on pistoning her relentlessly. Now she's just REALLY unaware of anything and everything else but you and how good you make her feel. Everything else is just SO overwhelming for her little brain 😞😞😞😞

"I-- I'm c-cumming again, I-- feel the--"

"'s okay, baby," you groaned out, putting her legs above your shoulders as you moved within her, "you can cum."

It will never cease to amaze you, how your words had such an effect on the strongest figure in all of Inazuma, especially when your words get her to react so very intensely—her insides squeeze you like a vice as her hips lift off the bed in an attempt to get you as close to the base as possible.. or at least, she tries to.

Despite all that strength she has, all it takes you is a press down onto her abdomen as a way to both keep her hips down and to add more pressure on her and suddenly she's all pliant. The poor girl can't even scream—she was never really the type to—so when she opens her mouth, she doesn't make a sound as you push your hips into her in a particular way before stilling your movements as you came inside for.. who knows how many times it's been?

The amount of cum that spills out from her pussy despite your cock practically plugging it shut is enough of a giveaway that you've been at it for a while though.

..But you find that you don't really care when you start up all over again, not giving her enough time to come down from her high and overwhelming her completely.

You act out whatever she saw on that book of hers: the poses, the positions, the angles, whatever she thought was interesting to her. She used her lack of present knowledge to her advantage too—she had asked you for a proper demonstration, seeing as how she had been trapped in the PoE for the longest time so she fears she's not all that familiar with these.. new words or phrases!!

Half of it was true but other half of it was her just trying to lure you. And it worked so 🤷‍♀️ fair game

You make sure to stuff her silly with all of you, scooping up what drips out and stuffing it back in to make sure that nothing goes wasted. That proves to be a hard task as you proceed though because throughout your many rounds and the actual breaks in between, there IS a limit to how much she can have inside her so it's inevitable that it'd spill

Not like the sight isn't great, it's actually the opposite—just seeing YOUR own cum practically overflow in her pussy like that? FUCK just the thought of her insides being painted white because of you??? It's the way that if you pressed down on her abdomen without your cock clogging her entrance, it'd gush out in streams.......ohhhhgoodness

Your lover stares down absentmindedly at her pussy, hole agape and very much abused and so so so filled up and stained and whatever it is she could think of to describe it. Such warmth was inside her, the feeling of being full never quite leaving her—not as if it ever could for a good while, when you've filled her with so much cum that it's spilling without anything to prevent its escape from within her.

She had designed this body with the thought of only keeping necessary systems on the design for optimal use in upkeeping eternity and avoiding erosion. Why she had designed it with erogenous areas in mind? The reason eludes her, but now not only does Ei thank herself from going through with it, she is lamenting the lack of a complete reproductive system.

While becoming pregnant would.. pose for mixed results during her planned time to make amends to the nation for running away and keeping a narrow mind on what eternity could mean, she had wondered how the session would have felt with such capabilities. Would it have felt better? The same? Worse?

..Perhaps she will take a note to reassess the Shogun's model later.

Zooweemama by GOD I need her, end of story good night all

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Scenarios

I made these two parts because I love all the Hazbin boys, and I am a sucker for this trope. I didn't add pentious because I am not confident writing for him. Val is well, Val. Pt1 Pt2

Husk

Alastor had asked you to accompany Husk to his old casino to see how things were running. You knew it was to punish Husk for something he did or said, but at least you got to be there with him. Husk groaned for the eighth time since you two had left. You could tell he was angry about this arrangement. "You can talk to me, Husk, if you want. Normally you do all the listening, it can be my turn if it will help."

He sighed and grumbled; you nodded and kept pace with him. The old casino was in sight. It still looked like it did in the glory days when you were Husk's soul, not Alastor's. "Well, at least the bastard can keep it looking nice, fucking tormenting me with this shit,"

When you two entered the casino, you were treated by another of Alastors' demons and escorted to the one in charge. Husk was speaking about the logistics while you looked around. Hours had passed, and you were growing tired. You were never good with money and business, and the buzzing and noise of the casino slowly drowned out as you sat at a machine and took a nap.

When Husk wakes you, the Casino is in full swing. A sinner is mad you are taking up a spot. Standing quickly, you move over and stand with Husk. "What is going on?"

"Fucking Al wants the impossible done, is what? We are gonna be stuck here for the night. I couldn't make the numbers work before the casino got busy; they are getting us a room now." He seemed so anxious and mad. You gently grabbed one of his claws, offering a soft squeeze.

"You don't want to play at all?" You were concerned he usually wouldn't give up the chance.

A soft laugh escapes him as he looks at you. He looks very gentle. "Doll, what do you think I was doing to get the numbers up?" You make a silent 'o' and follow him as a new sinner escorts you to the hotel side of the casino. As you ride the elevator up, you look down on all the gambling sinners. That used to be you a long time ago; that used to be Husk.

Once you were left at your door, Husk entered, a gruff thanks coming from him. You kept walking when you slammed your face into a wall of fur. "Husk, what is wrong?" You peeked over and saw it was a miniature replica of Husk's old room, with only one bed for two. "Oh, I see now."

"Fuck this. I will just sleep on the floor," He began to get comfy by the side of the bed. You scoffed and looked at him worriedly, "Husk, no, you will not. Get up and in the bed. We can make this work." He looked flushed for a moment but groaned, knowing that you would move him—you had done it before. He slammed his body on the bed. You sighed and opened the bathroom door. "I am going to shower. You have fur, so you don't need the covers, so they will separate us. All good."

You entered the bathroom, and while you were gone, Husk had a dilemma. He knew the sheets would separate you, but that's what he didn't want; he wanted to feel you and hold you close. Sighing he laid on his back, you soon joined him and climbed in to bed. Some quick goodnight led to the lights off and sleep.

The problem you ran into was it was cold; you could hear Husk's light breathing, and as long as you moved by morning, you could save your dignity and crush on the cat. Gently, you wrapped the blankets from under Husk around him. You scooted closer, nuzzling his fur, and drifted off to sleep.

Come morning, Husk had found you, and he was happy even in this torment Alastor held him in. Slowly, Husk wrapped you in his arms and pulled you on top of him. He caressed your hair and face softly until he, too, went back to sleep. You eventually got up, but till that moment when you did, you two just lay there enjoying the warmth.

Lucifer

You were one of the first sinners to join hell; you watched Lilith and Lucifer's relationship. You had seen pentagram city become a city, you even watched as the other Sins became just that sins. Yet you remained strong, one of the trusted, the exulted. You loved Lucifer more than words could describe. How could you not? You had been there for it all. Yet Lilith was all he could care about; you were his closest friend.

When Lilith left, things were hard. You and Lucifer shared a bed often, and you held him close, comforting him. It never meant more to you than just being a good friend and helping him feel better. You spent countless nights being the best friend you could be and a makeshift mom for Charlie.

When Charlie's hotel opened seven years later, you had given up hope that Lucifer would get over Lilith. So you packed your things and moved to the Hazbin Hotel to help Charlie. You didn't know Lucifer was over Lilith year three or four; he purposefully kept being sad, so you stayed around. That's why when Charlie invited him to the hotel, he jumped at the chance to be by your side again.

There was one problem: while working on building the new hotel, only a few rooms were set up, leaving you and Lucifer to share a room once more. You had noticed his change in mood, and he was a lot more flirty, yet you didn't want to get your hopes up that Lilith was off his mind. You just played back with him, not realizing that come nightfall, you would be alone with him, with one bed—nothing you hadn't done before, right?

"Uh, if you are uncomfortable, I can sleep elsewhere. Otherwise, the castle is still active." He looked so concerned and nervous. Could he feel how you were feeling?

"Uh, no, no, it's fine. We have done this before, right Luci? It's okay." You felt your face warm up in this confined space, and the tension was too much. Like old times, you gently crawled into bed, opening your arms for him.

His eyes widened, and he smiled, crashing into you and rubbing his face in your chest. "I have missed this. Months without being able to do this is far too long."

You blushed brightly and combed his hair. "Months, Luci, what do you mean? Lilith has been gone for years."

He yawned and nuzzled closer, helping you lay down. "No, I meant what I said; I missed you," he looked up at you through his eyelashes. "It has always been you."

You gasped and smiled, tears welling in your eyes. You two wrapped up warm and snuggled in the bed. You both slept the best you had in millennia. Come morning, the whole hotel staff took pictures of how adorable the King of Hell looked while you were holding him.

Vox

You were Vox's best assistant. By best, he meant the only one he couldn't flirt with or hit on because he had one too many dreams about you. More specifically, there are one too many domestic cute dreams. You were his best assistant because he couldn't get mad at you or hate you like he did the others. Damn, did he love seeing you walk around also? He was smitten, and you were good at your job, which made him hopelessly in love.

You weren't too far off yourself. Vox had your heart the moment he helped you pick up all your stuff in the hall at work. He had yet to learn who you were, some lowly intern for Velvette, and he helped you. From that day on, you worked hard to become his personal assistant, hoping to make him see you how you saw him.

Today was a busy day for the Vees. You had gotten Velvette and Val to their designated locations, and now you needed to get Vox to his. Just as the company limo broke down. You sighed and told Vox to wait as you got out and looked at the busted engine. You sighed, calling the mechanics to come pick it up. You looked all over the part of the city you were in and sighed. It will be hard to get a hotel, but not impossible.

You searched the internet, and Vox inevitably came out to lean on the car and keep you company. He wasn't mad at all; ironically, he didn't get much time with you alone. This was nice, almost domestic if you think about it. However, your loud 'aha' ruined the moment. "I found one, Vox!" The way your eyes lit up made him warm. He wanted to make your eyes do that always.

"Find what, kid?" He kept his same gruff, sarcastic voice; he didn't want to risk you finding him out. You just shook your head and started walking; when he didn't join you, a sigh left your lips as you grabbed his hand and dragged him along.

Two blocks down, there was a hotel with a bed left. "Here we are, alright. Here is all your information; you will have access to all amenities. I hope you sleep and rest well, sir." He looked at you, confused. Were you not going with him?

"Uh, are you not coming with me?" He let his guard down a little. He knew this side of town was near the radio demon, and he was worried.

"Oh no, there is only one bed. I will just sleep in the limo!" You were so excited and proud even of your plan. Yet that was halted as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

"Yeah, that's a hard no kid." He walked you into the hotel, keeping your bottom half covered with his suit jacket. Once he had the key, he went up to the room and set you down. Looking around, it was beautiful; it matched his blue well. There was only one bed, though, like you said.

"Vox, really, it will be okay. I was from this side of town before I started working for you guys. I will be okay." You pleaded, not wanting him to know about your silly crush. He just shrugged and locked the door, going to the bathroom to freshen up. You sighed and sat on the bed, kicking your legs and looking around. Vox came back shirtless and cleaned up.

"Your turn." He noticed the blush on your cheeks and puffed out his chest. Smiling, he took his place on the bed, laying back. You went into the bathroom to clean up. Luckily, you keep a spare pair of shorts and a tank top in your bag for emergencies. Changing, you went to the room, seeing Vox spread out.

"Where exactly do I sleep?" He snorted and patted the spot next to him. Slowly, you made your way over, crawling in. Vox sighed and pulled you into him. Your hand rested on his chest, and your head landed on his shoulder.

"Look, I will cut to the chase, kid. I like you, no, I love you. I have been having these dreams about you, not even sexual ones. I want all this domestic shit like cuddling with you." You blushed and smiled, nodding along. Gently, you repositioned you to be comfy against him and you two fell asleep.

In the morning, hours had passed, the limo had been picked up, and you two had ignored all calls from the other two Vees. Vox will deal with it later, just like how he will deal with you losing the title of assistant so he can finally make you his partner.

[astaroth1357]

Witchy Requests: The Reality of Summoning a Demon Lord

Contents: Violence and demons being demonic

~♡♡♡~

Summoning Lucifer

First off, this is not even remotely easy to do.

Lucifer does not get summoned away very often because it takes a witch at least comparable to Solomon's skill to pull it off. Of the small handful of people who can, only a couple are crazy enough to try (so he already knows them all by name).

Not only is this hard to do logistically, Lucifer also HATES being summoned with a burning passion. It messes up his schedule, gives him a pounding headache, and it's pretty humiliating to be ordered about like a dog on a lead.

Anyone summoning Lucifer has put some seriously strong spells in place to keep him in check. It'll take more than a salt circle to stay protected because he'll just blow that crap away with his wings.

It's well known that he will attack the second that the caster gives him the opportunity. Even so much as looking away could leave enough of an opening for him to fry them to a crisp. Extra potent magic chains and bindings are about the only things that ensure safety....

Deals with Lucifer are extremely costly due to how pissed he is just being there. He doesn't stop at their soul. Depending on the day, he could ask for any number of other sacrifices before he so much as lifts a finger. A person summoning Lucifer must be prepared to lose almost everything...

That said, he always fulfills his contracts to the letter and employs very little trickery. If the agreement was unclear, then that's on the summoner. Not him. They get exactly what they asked for.

There was a rumor going around for a time that if Lucifer was summoned with classical music in background, he'd be easier to deal with. Unfortunately, a naive young witch gave it a try and found out that "easier to deal with" Lucifer is still willing take off a hand or two no matter how sophisticated the room sounds.

Solomon has only managed to summon him twice. The first time was in a bid for a pact (which ended in a very wrecked office) and the second was an attempt to ask the questions about Michael that Simeon refused to answer (he let him go pretty quickly after receiving a death glare that would have turned his hair white if it weren't so silvery already).

Summoning Mammon

So like. It's pretty easy to do, but it ain't cheap.

Mammon only shows up if the caster can offer up some serious wealth in return. We're talking sprinkling the summoning circle in gold coins and Rolex watches to make it happen. They don't get to keep any of it, either. He's taking that as the "entrance fee."

Though he's generally a pretty safe summon, Mammon's motivations are directly tied to how much wealth he's gonna make off of their time together. Bribes aren't just encouraged, they're expected, and he gets pissed off if they think he'll do any work for free.

Since he encompasses the sphere of Greed, he sees a lot of witches and the like who summon him for a bit of luck or to increase their chances of acquiring ill-gotten gains. He usually demands a cut of whatever they manage to get from his help, on top of what it already took for him to play ball to begin with.

The only witches who get to skip his exorbitant prices are, unfortunately, the ones whom he already owes money to and it is degrading to say the least... He tries to keep MC out of that as much as possible and he'll straight up toss anyone who brings it up.

There's an urban legend around witching circles that of you can get Mammon to kiss a Grimm and give it to you, you'll have good fortune for an entire year. He doesn't really believe it himself but he still gave one to MC, just in case.

Solomon hasn't ever tried to summon Mammon, though he knows that he could very easily. He's not too tied to wealth or material possessions, so he's never needed his assistance to start with. If he ever summons him now, it's usually just to ask how MC is doing since the two are so close.

Summoning Levi

Often more trouble than it's worth...

Summoning Levi is really only useful for a VERY small handful of problems, nearly all of which concerning the Devil's Sea in some way. He's the only brother with any jurisdiction over it, much less the ability to talk to fish.

The issue is that Levi hates being summoned just as much as Lucifer. It drags him right out of his comfort zone and puts him a space where he feels like he's being judged for how useless he is... Thus, he'll spend the whole time sulking, irritated, and hissing to be left alone.

Levi has to be spoken to with extreme care because setting him off could result in the caster getting crushed by all 200 tons of Lotan then swept away in the flood that comes after.

Those who can appease him with video games and anime fair better, not by much because he gets even more irritated if they get details the wrong or seem like a "fake fan" (yes, unfortunately he gatekeeps 🥲). Only the most otaku of witches are safe from his temper.

In truth, main reason that anyone summons Levi anymore is for nautical travel through the Devil's Sea. The dude is like a living compass with precise latitude and longitudinal coordinates built into his DNA. But asking for that is also a one way ticket to meet Admiral Levi who is even WORSE to be around than the Otaku version...

The first time Solomon summoned Levi, they actually got along pretty well (largely thanks to Solomon's equally copious knowledge of TSL). He was only looking for the scales of a specific sea monster, but the two ended up chatting for a while. He thought that he could have made a pact with him right then and there, but Levi asked if he liked The Magical Ruri Hana and his answer to THAT shut things down instantly...

Summoning Satan

Practically the OG demon to summon despite being around for the least amount of time.

Satan is one of the easier brothers to summon because he spent a few centuries spreading around just how to do so in the human world. He wanted an excuse to leave the House and piss off Lucifer by fucking with humanity. Architect of the Satanic Panic right here.

I suppose you could say that in his younger years, Satan was something akin to a rockstar in witching terms. Even non-witches knew of him, just not a lot of the accurate details.

Satan was really the "ground zero" for humanity's pop culture surrounding demons. He used to use it as a chance to let loose from Lucifer's constant pressure, so he played up the persona of the "charming, charismatic bad boy with a homicidal mean-streak" beautifully.

You would also have to be a lawyer if you wanted to make a solid contract with him. He was wicked smart even back then and put it good use by tormenting the humans more. That classic phrase, "Deal with the Devil" came from the amount of times he'd gleefully screw someone over.

Since then, he's calmed down considerably and is even a little embarrassed about his old persona if anyone brings it up. He's much more refined in his modern day dealings, though he'll still make a nasty deal or two just to keep the humans on their toes.

Satan's fondness for cats is the reason why cats got tied to witchcraft in media. It was common knowledge that if you summoned him with a cat present, then he would be too distracted to give you a bad deal. Ever since then, it just stuck.

Solomon's true first interaction with Satan was when he summoned him one day to get some advice about making a pact with Lucifer... It was one of his worst ideas to date and he still has the mended ribs to show for it.

Summoning Asmo

Very easy with low risk... for the most part.

Asmo LOVES getting summoned out by witches. It feeds his ego something fierce. So he never makes it all that hard to do, however...

Those who summon Asmo quickly learn that it cannot be a one-time thing. Or if it is, it better fucking stay that way.

Asmo ties a lot of self-worth to how "in demand" he is, so after a witch summons him, he'll keep a tally on how long it takes for them to summon him again.

If they do so quickly and regularly? No issues. He couldn’t be happier! If they take too long between summons though...?

Fury. He'll come at them laying curse after curse because how DARE they forget about him like that!! And after, uh... whatever he did to help them out, no less!

Most witches just preemptively make a pact with him since they know that calling on Asmo is more like an ongoing relationship than a simple business transaction.

Ironically, despite the fact that Asmo wants to be summoned so badly, he is incredibly picky about the kinds of work he'll do. He won't do anything that could ruin his manicures, mess up his hair, strain his muscles, dirty his skin, cause a breakout, make him frown-

All of this absolutely stems from that time he was summoned by Solomon and tricked into doing hard labor to build his Temple. You live and learn, then throw the people who treat you poorly into the desert as punishment. Or something like that.

Summoning Beel

A very unwise decision unless you have the resources of a sultan.

Beel isn't exactly hostile by default, if anything he's very easy going all things considered. It's just that his stomach does a lot of the talking in contract arrangements...

After summoning Beel, the caster has to try and keep him fed at all costs. If he's eating, he's docile and easily negotiable. If he's hungry, he will eat them without hesitation. He's just going to go for the most filling thing in the room and, unfortunately, that tends to be the human in front of him.

As long as they have ten or so caterers on speed dial, deals with Beel are very straightforward. He's refreshingly forthright compared to the rest.

Sure, the first thing he usually asks for is permission to eat them, but he can be easily dissuaded by offering up something else to fill his stomach in their place. He's not bloodthirsty, just hungry.

For a short time, it was theorized that summoning both twins at the same time would make their interactions more safe, but that was quickly canned when it was discovered that Belphie would encourage Beel to eat whomever brought them there... He was not a good influence at all.

Solomon did actually try to summon Beel once thinking that he made enough food to keep him satisfied for a talk. Beel didn't even get three bites into his tuna salad before he lost consciousness... When he woke back up in HoL, he didn't have any memory of it and Solomon tactically decided to never mention it again so he could avoid future arguments.

Summoning Belphie

Blacklisted. Not allowed.

For centuries before MC showed up, Belphie was considered one of the most dangerous demons for a human witch to summon. Full stop. Even worse than Lucifer. The guy's bloodlust was unreal.

How exactly was the weakest brother considered the most deadly to interact with, you ask? Cold, hard manipulation.

Belphegor knows he's considered the weakest. He knows that he doesn't look like much of a threat. He even knows how to play into that "sleepy and harmless baby brother" image that he's spent so damn long building up.

Belphie is even better at persuasion than Satan. He can make whoever summons him feel silly, no, embarrassed for ever thinking he was a threat, then attack them when their guard was down.

Even if they keep him contained, his contracts are notoriously filled with wordplay and deceit. At best, he'll twist the terms around so he doesn't actually have to do anything. At worst, it'll become a death warrant with more than just their life on the line...

All of this, of course, was Belphie back when he still hated humans. But even after settling down with MC, he's in no rush to go correcting any records. He quite likes having his nap days uninterrupted, thank you.

One of the most horrifying rumors about summoning Belphegor is that if you sleep afterwards without fully sanctifying the room, he'll possess you in your sleep. There are still witches to this day who travel to the Devildom with sage in their pockets just in case they see him and need to start cleansing the area immediately.

Much like Mammon, Solomon has also never tried to summon Belphie. Sure, he can be somewhat unscrupulous, but even the witty sorcerer knows when the risk outweighs the reward.

Summoning Diavolo

Really only possible in theory because there has never been a successful attempt.

No one is very sure why all attempts to summon the Demon Prince crash and burn so easily. Solomon himself as spent centuries trying to work out the logistics.

Is there just no sacrifice comparable enough to bring out a being of his magnitude?

Are the sigils and chants required so ancient and esoteric that they've long been forgotten by mortal minds?

Do the summoning circles work but Diavolo, by the nature of his power and authority, just "opts out" of showing up if he feels like it?

Solomon has tried summoning Dia numerous times and every attempt has left him with nothing but wasted materials and broken dreams. This is basically his white whale. Don't bring it up or he'll get pouty.

Summoning Barbatos

Another unwise decision that leaves many with nightmares years later.

Barbatos is an... interesting case to summon. Like Lucifer, the caster has to be incredibly talented. Though unlike Lucifer, Barbatos doesn't react with such upfront vitriol.

To be clear, he is NOT happy. He is NEVER happy to be called away so suddenly from his lord. But it comes across more like a frigid aura of contempt and malice than the white hot hostility of all the others.

Put simply, it just feels like you royally fucked up in ways you can't even process.

The most unnerving thing about accepting a contract with Barbatos is that he will always agree to whatever is asked for with no complaint, but he'll never say what he wants in return.

The terms of all demonic contracts are that whatever is asked must be balanced by an equal sacrifice, but since Barbs NEVER identifies what he plans on taking, it leaves the caster to wonder what they've loss...

Every bad event from then on gets overanalyzed to the point of paranoia where the caster victim tries to identify if their debt has finally been paid or if he may still come to them one day and demand what he's owed...

Solomon doesn't know it, but a popular theory among his peers is that what Barbs took in exchange for their pact was his mortality in hopes that the centuries of loss and isolation would make him go insane. It's a silly little rumor, but it does still make Barbs chuckle whenever he hears it...

[imaginespazzi]

Part 5: One Perfect Day

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 6 - Part 7

Let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were)

(In which a procrastinating writer procrastinates giving her ship happiness)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Some Fluff

Words: 7.5K

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. As many of you have reminded me it is indeed Friday and so here we are, nobody needs to yell at me! I know I'm years too late with this but I hope y'all like it anyways, even though this is very much mainly hurt with very little comfort. But for things to get better, they have to get worse and remember, it's all for the plot! There's plenty of creative liberty taken this chapter with how hotels and post-championship celebrations work and other logistics but I wrote it how I needed to so just go with it. Did I edit? Yes. Are there typos and errors anyway? Probably. As always, tell me what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a wonderful weekend lovelies!!

March 2019 

The final buzzer echoes through the Williams Arena, and the disappointment of the last couple of years is finally drowned out as the Hopkins Royals win the state championship. Surrounded by the cheers of her teammates, Paige doesn’t know if she’d call this the happiest moment of her life, the stomach flu symptoms haven’t quite faded yet, but she knows it’s definitely on her mount rushmore of times when life was great. 

For a second, as she’d been crouched over the toilet with Azzi’s hands soothingly rubbing her back, feeling her soul leave with the remnants of last night's dinner, Paige had almost lost hope. But she’d never been taught to give up without a fight. And so it hadn’t mattered that she definitely looked a little green or that standing up was taking twice the energy it normally did, Paige was going to play today. It hadn’t been a flashy scoring night but she’d done everything else her team needed. And as that lead had built and built and built, Paige knew, the moment was still hers. 

“Paigeyyyyy,” Drew is the first one to find her after her and her teammates break apart, launching his tiny body into her legs, “you won!”

Paige laughs, lifting her brother into her arms and spinning him around, “I told you I was gonna didn’t I?”

One by one, her whole family, the epitome of a modern family, pull her into hugs and then they gather into one large group hug, with Paige at the centre of it all. Her siblings look at her with pure admiration while her parent’s eyes are filled with pride. And it fulfils that part of Paige that has always lived a little more for her family than for herself. 

As her family moves away slowly, Paige finds herself face to face with Azzi’s shining smile and her heart skips a beat. And she doesn’t really know when it started or even how really, but it gets a little more difficult every time she sees Azzi, for Paige to convince herself that that fluttering in her chest is nothing. 

“You look a little pale white girl,” Azzi teases, taking a couple of steps towards the blonde, “glad you didn’t vomit all over the floor.”

“Nah no bullshit flu is stopping Paige Bueckers. The flu is scared of me,” Paige juts out her chest with a smirk, earning her a patented eye roll from the younger girl. 

“Oh yeah, you’re real scary,” Azzi indulges before pulling Paige into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m proud of you P.”

Paige smiles into the crook of Azzi’s neck, basking in the glow of the compliment. It’s these little moments they have in between their constant banter, where they let themselves be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, that makes them Paige and Azzi. They pull away, still grinning. and Paige’s eyes roam over the Team Paige jersey framing Azzi’s body. It makes her feel some type of way to see the younger girl wearing her name across her chest, but it’s not a feeling Paige is quite ready to accept. Perhaps it’s been written in their destiny that someday things will change, that eventually they’ll both have to confront the something more that’s simmering underneath it all, but for now, Paige just wants to protect what they already have. 

“That’s a pretty jersey,” she says with a wink, fingers rushing over the soft material. 

“I was forced at gunpoint to wear it,” Azzi sighs dramatically, “I was actually cheering for Stillwater. Their pg’s kinda cute.”

Paige bristles at the comment, the queasiness from this morning returning with vengeance, “she’s mid as hell on and off the court.”

“Don’t be petty Paige. You think she’d let me wear her jersey instead?” 

“You know what,” Paige fights a losing battle with the quick surge of anger that’s taking birth in her stomach, “how about you take off my winner’s jersey and go to the loser’s locker room and beg for her jersey instead.”

She knows Azzi’s joking, knows the point guard on the other team isn’t even really Azzi’s type, knows that even if Azzi’s being serious, Paige doesn’t have a right to feel this way. But that green eyed monster is clawing at her heart, squeezing it and making it hard to breathe. 

“Oh- hey hey hey,” Azzi’s quick to grab at her when Paige tries to storm off, “chill dude. You know I’m just kidding.”

“Well it wasn’t funny,” Paige pouts, aware that she’s being unnecessarily childish. 

Azzi opens her mouth, about to make some smartass quip but there must be something about how genuinely frustrated Paige looks that softens her expression, “I came to watch you P. I have no idea what that other girl was doing. I was cheering for you the whole time.”

“You’re so sappy,” Paige snorts, throwing a handful of confetti at Azzi, but inside, the ice cold jealousy melts into something warm and lovely, spreading through her heart into her veins. 

“Can’t even say nice shit without you being a dick about it,” Azzi rolls her eyes, as she links her arms through Paige’s,  “now come on, let’s go celebrate you.”

***

It’s almost 2 a.m. when Paige’s teammates finally begin to filter out of her house, leaving with droopy eyes and tired smiles. She and Azzi stand in the doorway, waving goodbye to every last one of them and it feels a little domestic, like a couple after a dinner party. Paige shakes that thought away the minute it begins to form, forcing herself to ignore the burst of wouldn’t that be lovely that blooms in her chest.

“What if I just fell asleep here?” Paige sags against the doorframe. 

“You’d probably fall flat on your face and I’d get an epic video of it.”

“You’re so fucking mean to me.”

“Oh yeah right because you’re so nice to me.”

“Am to,” Paige retorts, before she makes grabby hands towards Azzi, “carry me?”

Azzi swats her hands away, “Absolutely not lazy, it’s one flight of stairs.”

“That’s like 20 steps,” Paige whines. To be honest, she’s not that tired. Out of the two of them, she’s probably closer to being a night owl. But Paige is nothing if not a little bit of nuisance, especially when it comes to Azzi. 

“Are you an athlete or not,” Azzi chides, rolling her eyes. 

“Bro I just won a championship AND I had the flu. And you won’t even carry me? What kind of best friend are you?”

“Paige.”

“Azziiiiii.”

“Paige I’m tired.”

“Pleeeeeaseeee.”

The younger girl sighs, a sign of her caving in, before turning around so her back is facing Paige's front, “fine, get on you big baby.”

“YES-”

“Dude shut up, you’re gonna wake everybody up,” Azzi groans, always the responsible one. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Paige whispers as she jumps onto Azzi’s back, the force of it causing the brunette to take a couple steps forward, “fucking hell Azzi don’t drop me.”

Azzi lets out an indignant squawk, as she regains her balance,  “with that attitude, I should drop you.”

“If you’re too weak to carry me, just say that,” Paige teases, wrapping her legs firmly around Azzi’s torso.  She buries her shit-eating grin in her best friend’s neck, as she loops her arms around Azzi’s shoulders.

“It is not my fault you’ve put on like a hundred pounds since I last saw you.”

Azzi squeals when Paige pinches at her ribcage and the blonde immediately slaps a hand on her best friend’s mouth, “what happened to being quiet? Now, onwards horsey- OW! Did you just fucking bite my hand!?”

“What happened to being quiet?” Azzi mocks, adjusting Paige’s weight on her back as she begins to walk towards the staircase, grumbling something under her breath about ‘ungrateful best friends’ but Paige knows she doesn’t mean a word of it. She snuggles further into Azzi’s neck, letting herself breathe in the scent of the younger girl. 

When Azzi had first left Minnesota, after they’d spent every second since the plane ride back from Argentina, Paige had thought that that hollowness in her chest was temporary, that it would fade once she got back into daily life. It didn’t. And the thing is the word miss had existed in Paige’s dictionary before too but she doesn’t think she really understood what it meant til she started to miss Azzi. 

As soon as they reach Paige’s bedroom, Azzi’s already swatting Paige off her back. The blonde falls back onto the pillows on her bed with a content sigh, watching with a cheeky grin as Azzi pretends to stretch out the muscles on her back and her arms.

“I think that might have broke my fucking back,” the younger girl groan, face scrunching up in mock exhaustion, “and I have to sit on a plane again tomorrow.”

That wipes the smile straight off Paige's face. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment with Azzi, so easy to forget that they spend less time together than they do apart. They haven’t bothered with the actual lights but even in the dim glow of the moon through Paige’s windows, Azzi sees her best friend’s change in expression clearly, her own face becoming melancholic. Sighing, she climbs onto the bed herself and lies down next to Paige, intertwining her hands with the older girl’s. 

“You could stay a little longer,” Paige says after a moment, eyes resolutely focused on the ceiling. 

Azzi let out a wistful sigh, “I wish. But you know I can’t.”

“You can, you just won’t, little miss goody-two-shoes,” the light-hearted teasing eases some of the mood as they both let out soft giggles. They dissolve into a comfortable silence before, “I can’t wait til we’re playing for UConn together.”

Paige misses the way Azzi stiffens a little next to her, too enthralled with imagining a future where she and her best friend could conquer the world together. She knows Azzi, with all her indecisive tendencies, hasn’t quite come around to being anywhere near ready to pick a college team yet but Paige still has time to convince her and Paige Bueckers is nothing if not persuasive. 

“So it’s definitely UConn then?” 

“Yeah. I mean it’s UConn dude. The UConn. They’re the best. All these other programs are nice but when UConn calls, you don’t say no to that shit,” and Paige means that with all her heart. As the number one recruit in her class, there had been no shortage of offers and of course Paige had entertained them for a little while. But the minute Geno Auriemma had given his offer, everything else had become obsolete. She hadn’t committed yet, still maintaining a façade of being in the decision stage, but all of that was just a front. Paige knows she’s meant to be a UConn husky, there’s no way around it. 

“I think you’ll make a pretty damn good Husky,” Azzi says with a soft smile, as she absentmindedly plays with Paige’s fingers. 

“We’ll make damn good Huskies,” Paige affirms. 

“I don’t know P, California’s pretty tempting,” it’s said teasingly but a hint of seriousness slips through the cracks anyway. 

Paige scoffs, “cause it’s hot? Bruh that much heat would be boring. Connecticut gets all four seasons. We’d get the heat and the snow.”

“I get all of that in Virginia already,” Azzi points out with a huff, “maybe I want something different.”

“You do get something different. You get to play with me. That’s different.”

“Yeah but-”

“Dude why are you fighting me on this? Do you not want to be on the same team as me or something?” Paige asks agitatedly, suddenly feeling frustrated with the turn the conversation had taken. 

“Okay breathe,” Azzi gives her a stern side-eye, “I was just saying California’s nice. Of course I want to be on your team. Did the shirt not make that obvious?”

Involuntarily, Paige has to smile at the memory of Azzi’s jersey, the team Paige that had been loudly imprinted across her chest, “right, sorry got a little carried away. I just always want you on my team, you know?”

“I’m always on Team Paige. I always have been. I always will be,” Azzi says firmly, as if it’s the most obvious truth in the world.  

When Paige turns her head to look at her best friend, the younger girl is already looking back at her and the sincerity in Azzi’s eyes makes Paige’s heart stutter. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige swears she can see every little detail in the dim light. And the thing is Paige has always known Azzi’s a pretty girl, she’s not blind. But it’s different tonight. Tonight Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that Paige wants to memorise until it’s imprinted in the back of her eyelids, the kind of beautiful that she wants to lock away in a treasure chest and preserve only for her own eyes to ever see again. The kind of beautiful that Paige knows she isn’t allowed to think of Azzi as. But still, right now, Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that makes Paige want to try and see if maybe, just maybe, there’s the possibility for something more. 

That night, when she finally falls asleep to the sound of her best friend’s quiet breathing, Paige dreams of UConn and championships and at the end of it all, kissing Azzi under the confetti. 

***

April 2024

There’s 14 seconds left in the National Championship game and UConn is ahead by eight points. Adrenaline courses through Paige’s veins as that one elusive dream of hers seems to finally be coming closer and closer to fruition. Winning a National Championship had been on her mind since she’d first picked up a basketball. The minute she’d committed to UConn, it had felt inevitable and yet year after year, her team had fallen just a little short. But this afternoon, it seems like it’s finally within grasp. 14 seconds to go. 14 steps closer to having her perfect moment. 

Except, every time Paige had imagined this moment, she’d expected her best friend to be there. In the beginning, before everything, she’d dreamed of them being on the court together, running into each other’s arms the minute the buzzer sounded. And then, until the last second today before she had to take the court, Paige had just assumed that when she’d look in the stands, somewhere in the crowd, there’d be the one face she wanted to see most in the world. But no matter how much she squinted, that face had been nowhere to be found and Paige had forced herself to compartmentalise her disappointment, and focus on the game. She hadn’t looked at the crowd since. 

The ball is in the other team’s hands, their point guard, diligently calling out plays before she inbounds it. Coach’s words echo in Paige’s head, try for a clean steal but don’t under any circumstances foul. Their pg inbounds the ball and the shot clock starts to count down. The ball bounces through the hands of different players on the other team but the UConn defence is stifling. Their coach is out of timeouts and it isn’t until the last millisecond that they heave up a prayer shot. And it doesn’t matter if it goes in, it’s a two point possession game, but Paige’s eyes are glued on the basketball anyways. 

The shot is an airball. The buzzer sounds through the arena. UConn wins their 12th national championship. 

For a second, everything goes silent around Paige. The normally over-excitable girl, known for her insane golden retriever energy, is perfectly still. It takes a couple more seconds for the adrenaline to hit. And then she’s screaming, pummeling her body into the rest of her teammates as the bleed blue crowd goes wild. She loses herself in the noise of her teammates cheering and the bright lights of cameras flashing nearby. They did it. And it doesn’t erase just how fucking hard the last couple of year had been, but it makes the burden significantly lighter. 

Paige rushes through the handshake line, the opposing team’s coach giving her an appreciative review of her performance before she’s recaptured into a group hug by her teammates. It’s a surreal feeling really, one that’s far better than even her most wonderful dreams. For the first time since the game began, Paige lets her gaze wander over to the family section who are all tearfully hugging, smiling at her parents and then her siblings and then- 

When her eyes meet Azzi’s, it’s like the last piece of the puzzle has finally settled into its rightful place, completing the perfect picture of Paige’s perfect moment. A #5 UConn jersey hangs loosely against Azzi’s hips as she smiles shyly at her best friend. And Paige is scared to blink, scared if she looks away, the girl in front of her will disappear. It takes everything in her to not rush into the stands, pull her best friend into her and kiss her under the confetti. 

Azzi doesn’t budge when the rest of the family and friends crew start to move towards the court. There’s too much attention, too much media, for that to be a feasible option. Paige wishes they would all just disappear, let her have her moment the exact way she’d pictured it. She thinks she’d like to fulfil that dream of hers, kiss Azzi in the confetti, twirl her around, and between it all, let the world know that she was Paige’s. 

As always, Drew is the first person to reach her. He’s a little too big for her to pick up, but she spins him around anyway. 

“You won Paigey,” her little brother squeals and he might be older now, but that innocent admiration of his older sister is as palpable as always, “I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks for always believing in me, little dude,” Paige says softly, leaning her cheek against the top of Drew’s head.

Over the top of her brother's head, Paige realises with sudden panic that Azzi’s not there anymore. Dread filters into her bloodstream, the voices in her head screaming it was too good to be true. The way her body tenses doesn’t go unnoticed by her mother who’s quick to hold her. 

“She said to tell you she’d see you at the hotel later,” Amy Jo says with a knowing smile, before letting Paige’s body sag into hers. She rubs her daughter’s back as relief settles into the younger girl's features, “proud of you Paigey.”

Paige smiles into her mother’s chest. Last year had been the hardest of her life and for a while the light at the end of the tunnel had been hard to see. Today, she feels the light surrounding her, washing away all the darkness from the last few years, bathing her in the glow of happiness. 

***

“I always knew you’d look good in a UConn jersey.”

Azzi’s eyes fly open and Paige smirks, leaning her body against the wall. The last couple of hours had been a whirlwind of media, champagne and excited chatter about what the after party would be like. Paige’s focus had been on celebrating, but the thought of getting back to Azzi had been a constantly lingering presence in the back of her mind. And as the bus had gotten closer to the hotel, anxiety had creeped in because what if Azzi wasn’t there? What if she’d changed her mind? 

Paige had smiled for the fans outside the hotel, diligently posing for pictures and signing autographs, ignoring the heaviness in heart. But as soon as she was far away from prying eyes, she was bolting towards her room. And then everything was okay. Paige has heard a lot of cliché things about love, about how it makes you hear violins and see stars and all of that, about how it increases your heart rate and makes you flush. But Paige thinks all of that can’t quite be right. Because when she’d seen Azzi, curled up in her sheets, #5 jersey crumpled but still fitted around her body, Paige had only felt a sense of calm. And that Paige thinks, is probably the actual truth of love, it’s about finding peace and to Paige, Azzi has always been her peace. 

“I’d look great in any jersey,” Azzi claps back groggily, moving to sit up. 

“But you look the best in mine. You always have,” Paige tries to keep her voice teasing, but it comes out sounding rather wistful, and the next words are even softer, “you came.”

Azzi bites her lips, looking down at her fiddling thumbs, “you asked me to.”

Those four little words carve themselves into a little crevice in Paige’s heart as if they’ll stay there forever, as if they’ll echo through her entire body for the rest of time. She practically throws herself onto the younger girl, the force of it pushing Azzi back down into the pillows, as she buries her head in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Their legs slot together of their own accord and it’s a little bit like they’re trying to meld into each other’s skin the way they press themselves as close as possible, til there’s barely space for air in between them. They lie like that for god knows how long; it goes by in a rush and yet ever so slowly. 

“I’m really fucking happy you’re here,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s skin, “really fucking happy.”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, humming into Paige’s hair as she tightens her grip on the blonde’s waist but Paige can tell by the way she stiffens underneath her, that Azzi’s holding herself back from something. Her heart hammers in her chest as she lifts her face from Azzi’s neck to inspect the younger girl’s face. 

“What aren’t you saying to me Az?” she whispers quietly with a sinking feeling.

“Paige,” Azzi closes her eyes. And just that is enough for Paige to understand exactly what’s going through her best friend’s head and suddenly she wishes she’d never asked, just let them have this moment. 

“Never mind, I don't want to hear it.”

“That’s not how that works. I- I wanted to wait a little but we- we need to talk.”

“No we don’t,” Paige retorts stubbornly, fighting the tears threatening to spill, “I don’t want to.”

“Paige-”

The girl in question pushes herself off of Azzi, rising to sit on her knees, “this is meant to be the best day of my life Azzi.”

“I know- I’m sorr-”

“What game are you playing, Azzi? Why even fucking come if you were never gonna stay?” Paige spits out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” Azzi says softly, as she sits up “maybe- maybe I should have stayed away. But it’s you Paige, it’s you and I- I’ve never been that good at staying away from you. And maybe I’m just really selfish but I- I told you once that I wanted to be there when your dreams came true and so- here I am.”

They’d barely known each other when Azzi had said that, when they had just been young innocent girls with a tentative friendship, lying in the grass and sharing their dreams. Back then, the words had thrown Paige off. She hadn’t quite understood why they had meant that much to her, why they had filled her with more warmth than the sun shining above them. But she’d tucked them away in a little corner of her heart hoping she’d understand it better when she was older. She’s older now and she understands. Except every single emotion she’d felt at fifteen is heightened with the realisation that the words had meant something to Azzi too. And-

Paige surges forward to kiss Azzi. She’s pretty sure this bipolar act of theirs will be the death of them someday but it’s the only thing in the moment that makes sense. Azzi is hesitant at first, clearly too in her head, always the overthinker, but she gives in when Paige squeezes at her waist. It’s not as if they’ve kissed that many times before but it feels familiar, a little bit like coming home. She moves to straddle Azzi’s hips and they can’t get any closer really with every bit of their bodies pressed together now, but Paige tries anyways, tries to etch please don’t leave me into the other girl’s skin. And she isn’t sure if the salt she can taste is from the tears steadily streaming from Azzi’s eyes or the ones free-falling from her own. 

The minute Azzi pulls away, Paige misses her. 

“We can’t-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Paige cuts Azzi off immediately, resting her forehead against the younger girl’s, “please.”

“Paige,” Azzi breathes out, “I have to go.”

“No you don’t,” Paige says stubbornly. 

“Paige please-”

“Stay- fuck please- Azzi- just give me tonight. Tomorrow we can talk and you can-,” Paige swallows, not wanting to say leave out loud, “but please- tonight can we just pretend? Can you give me that? Fuck- can I just have tonight? Please- just- stay.”

Azzi lets out a shaky breath, “it won’t make it hurt less.”

“I know- fuck- I know but I just don’t want it to hurt right now.”

“Okay,” Azzi whispers slowly, thumb caressing Paige’s wet eyelashes, “okay, I’ll stay tonight.”

Paige kisses her again. 

***

The UConn team falls in love with Azzi in a matter of hours. No one had been shocked when Paige had shown up to the after party a.k.a everybody gathering at the hotel bar, fashionably late and with a nervous Azzi teetering behind her. It had been awkward at first; everyone was a little unsure of how to act around the new presence. Not only was Azzi from a rival team, but everyone was at least a little aware of her tumultuous relationship with their star player. But then KK had wanted to film a tiktok that needed someone to do random camerawork and when everybody else had groaned, Azzi had quietly volunteered. Much to KK’s delight, Azzi turned out to be quite the cameraman. And that apparently was all that was needed and Paige marvels at the way Azzi just fits.

She moves around Paige’s team as if they’re just as much hers. One second she’s timing some stupid drinking game that KK and Ice are playing, the next she’s sitting in a corner laughing with a more subdued Ash and Q. 

Aubrey and Ayanna gush over their girlfriend and Azzi’s coos over their pictures, a hint of wistfulness on her face when she meets Paige’s eyes. 

The team does their routine of teasing Aaliyah’s about being vegetarian and Azzi diligently backs the Canadian up with a spiel of how tofu isn’t actually that bad. That gets her a hi-5 from Aaliyah despite the eye rolls from the rest of the team. 

Despite being a little tipsy from having been dragged into doing shots with Amari and Carol, the two other people she knows pretty well, Azzi diligently lets Inés and Jana teach her little bits of Portuguese and Egyptian. 

Even Nika sheds her frostiness, amused by Azzi’s curiosity to learn her native language beyond just the curse words, and teaches the younger girl a couple of words. Azzi rolls her eyes fondly when she realises she’s been taught to say UConn is the best team ever in Croatian and amidst Nika’s laughter, Paige knows is a hidden acceptance. 

But the best part of it is that although Azzi’s suddenly being pulled in all different directions by various UConn girls, she never really leaves Paige’s side through it all. There’s always a little bit of them touching, whether it’s their shoulders or their knees, even when they’re both involved in completely different conversations and activities. It feels oddly domestic and Paige is reminded of the part after her state championship all over again. The burst of i want this forever that stirs in her chest makes her want to sob because it collides head first against a wall of this is only for tonight. And Paige knows that one night won’t ever be enough for her. 

“Aye Paige’s girl, come play truth or shots with,” KK’s loud voice breaks through Paige’s cloud of distress and it’s eclipsed by the implication of those two words. 

Paige’s girl. The phrases makes itself home in Paige’s heart, sounding so fucking right. She hasn’t let herself acknowledge it truly ever but that’s how it’s always been in Paige’s mind. It’s how she’s always thought of Azzi. As hers. Her Azzi. Her girl. 

“I’m not-that’s not-” Azzi’s cheeks are tinted pink as she stutters through her words, withering under KK’s cocked eyebrow. 

“Uh-okay if you say so,” KK rolls her eyes, holding her hands up in a sarcastic defensive position, “guess we’re starting off truth or shots by lying.”

The rest of the team laughs as Azzi’s blush grows even deeper and Paige can’t even try and hide her smile, her own neck tingling a little bit as she tucks herself into Azzi’s side. And it’s not real, they’re not anything, but in this moment it feels a little bit like they’re everything. 

“You guys are sickening,” Ice accuses when she notices the two of them cheesily smiling at each other, “it makes me gag.”

“They’re cute. Leave them alone,” Caroline chastises, ever the supportive friend. 

Azzi leans back against Paige’s arm as the group goes around the circle, asking each other ridiculous questions, cheering like little kids when their teammates opts to drink instead of answering a vaguely invasive question. When it’s her turn, Paige can already tell by the glint in KK’s eyes that her menace mini-me is about to cause trouble. 

“Paigey cakes, when’s the last time you had sex?”

Next to her, Paige can feel Azzi stiffen immediately. The shot feels heavy in Paige’s hand as she seriously contemplates taking it. She knows why KK asked the question, probably having concocted some idea of exposing Paige and Azzi. She’d known by the waggling eyebrows that the whole team had thought the two of them were late because they’d been fucking but that couldn’t be further from the bitter truth. 

Paige chances a look at Azzi’s face as she bites down on her lips. The younger girl’s face is stoically devoid of any emotion and Paige knows she’s thinking about the night of the crash (or as Paige likes to call it, the most terrifying night of her life) except- 

“November, last year,” Paige says slowly and Azzi whips her face around to look at her, lips falling apart in shock. 

“Don’t play, there’s no fucking way,” Ice guffaws and Paige shrugs. 

“It’s the truth.”

“Bruh what the fuck,” KK looks a little shell-shocked, “how the fuck did you survive that long?”

“Some of us actually know what to do with our own fingers,” Paige quips defensively, trying to ignore the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the way Azzi’s still looking at her. 

“I bet Azzi knows all about your fingers huh Azzi?” and even that, KK’s unhinged commentary, isn’t enough to get Azzi to pull her gaze away from Paige. It’s almost as if she hadn’t heard it all. 

“You didn’t- that night?” Azzi manages to get out. 

“Couldn’t do it,” Paige mumbles, “she wasn’t you.”

Despite the horde of people around them, they’re in their own little bubble now. There are a multitude of questions swimming in Azzi’s eyes and Paige wants to answer all of them if it means that maybe just maybe, she could prevent the inevitable misery tomorrow would bring. 

“Okay Azzi, it’s your turn,” Amari’s voice draws Azzi’s attention away and Paige feels cold without the heat of it. She doesn’t know how she’ll survive tomorrow. Living in the present isn’t working and Paige finds herself already feeling the emptiness she knows will become her reality in a couple of hours. Her fingers tap an incessant pattern on her thigh as she tries to keep her focus on the game, 

Azzi swallows nervously before mustering up a grin with false confidence, “I’m ready. Hit me with your best, I’m not drinking.”

“We’ll see about that,” KK smirks, diabolically rubbing her hands together, before she turns to Nika, “all yours Nik-Nik.”

The other girls “ooh”, knowing  Nika’s reputation for being notoriously good at this game. The Croatian grins at Azzi, as she sits up from where she’d been lazily lying on the love seat, a glint of mischief in her eyes. And then her eyes meet the forlorn ones of her twin and something shifts. When she looks back at Azzi, there’s a more serious look on Nika’s face. 

“Have you ever been in love?”

There’s pin drop silence once the gravity of the question registers. The light-hearted air in the room is replaced with anticipation, as all of Paige’s teammates look back and forth between their point guard and her best friend. Paige isn’t sure if she wants to know the answer, doesn’t know if there’s an answer that wouldn’t break her heart just a little bit. For a second, it looks like Azzi’s going to drink until she puts the shot down on her hand rest until- 

“Yes,” she confesses in a whisper, and Paige feels her heart begin to race, “I have.”

“How many times?” Nika prods

“That’s not how the game works. I already answered your question.”

“Different rules for newcomers,” Nika shrugs. It’s a blatant lie but nobody says anything. Paige is still caught up in her own head and the other girls won't challenge Nika, not when they’re just as curious, “I get to ask questions til you drink.”

Azzi narrows her eyes, knowing it’s all bullshit and maybe if she wasn’t a little bit tipsy and competitive, maybe if she couldn’t feel every inch of Paige’s side pressed against her, she’d walk away but she can’t. 

“Only once,” she answers. 

“With your ex-girlfriend?” Nika asks. The way she raises an eyebrow suggests there’s only one right answer to the question. Paige doesn’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer, only that there’s an answer that would shatter her. 

“No. I was never in love with her,” Azzi directs the answer towards Nika, but everyone knows it’s meant for Paige’s ears. And despite the tornado still roaring in her body, the blonde lets out a sigh of relief. 

Nika’s intimidating demeanour cracks a little bit when that answer makes her smile, “are you in love with someone right now?”

Even if it’s not said out loud, the implication of Nika’s question, the someone, is clear. And suddenly Paige doesn’t want to hear the answer, not right now, not when they’re both a little tipsy, not when they’re surrounded by all her teammates, not when their future is so unclear. 

“Drink,” Paige cuts in, holding the shot in front of Azzi, “don’t answer it.”

“Paige-”

“Drink Azzi,” Paige says firmly. 

Azzi looks equal parts relieved and frustrated as she downs the drink, happy to have gotten out of the uncomfortable round of questioning but a little annoyed at losing in front of the UConn girls. 

“And you said you wouldn’t drink,” Nika sneers, as she hi-5’s her teammates. 

“Because you bent the rules; she did great,” Paige defends immediately and everyone snickers, the mood in the room returning to something more casual.

“So fucking pussywhipped,” Ice teases. 

“Shut up,” Paige whines, hiding her face against Azzi’s shoulder as everybody else laughs. If the voices in head screaming this is just for tonight would shut up for a second, Paige thinks maybe she could fall in love with this moment, surrounded by her found family. 

It’s almost 3 am when the team decides maybe they should start going to bed, knowing they have a morning flight back to Connecticut. Everyone else is still in a jovial mood, sufficiently drunk of both alcohol and the high of a championship but Paige’s stomach pools with dread. Every minute is a step closer to a goodbye, she’ll never be prepared to say. 

They get to the lobby of the hotel when Paige turns to Azzi, ignoring her anxiety to be a nuisance instead. 

“No,” Azzi says immediately when she sees Paige making grabby hands at her, “there’s literally an elevator Paige.”

“So? That just makes it easier for you. This is tradition.”

“In what world is this a tradition?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly. 

“Since I won the state championship,” Paige grins, “pleeeeease, I’m tired, my feet hurt.”

Azzi gives her an unimpressed look, “you’ve been sitting for the last couple of hours.”

“And before that I was winning a championship, after beating your team by the way,” Paige’s smirk widens when Azzi guffaws at catching a stray. 

“Oh fuck off. Reminding me of that is not the way to get me to carry you by the way.”

“C’mon Az, you know you’re gonna give in anyway. You know you wanna sleep, stop wasting time.”

Azzi rolls her eyes with a dramatic sight before doing exactly what she always does, giving into Paige, “hop on then you big baby.”

Paige cheers, latching on Azzi’s back as her knees circle around the other girl’s waist. Unlike when they were younger, Azzi’s doesn’t stumble anymore at the additional weight. She’s stronger now, completely solid and steady underneath Paige and that absolutely doesn’t trigger any inappropriate thoughts in the older girl’s brains, absolutely. 

“Y’all are so cringe,” KK crinkles up her face when she turns to look at them as they wait for the elevator, but there’s a certain amount of fondness in her voice, “but Azzi’s cool. Much cooler than you P boogers. You should bring her around more often.”

Paige’s smile vanishes in tandem with Azzi letting out a strangled noise. KK looks between the two of them, slowly realising maybe she’d just put her foot in her mouth. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Paige answers noncommittally, trying to keep her voice steady. 

Much to her relief, the elevator dings open, saving her from having to say anything more. She wraps her arms tighter around Azzi, burying her face as far into the other girl’s neck as she can and closing her eyes, trying to lose herself in Azzi, instead of in the jail of her own mind.

She doesn’t look up from where she’s nestled into Azzi’s skin, when the rest of her teammates start towards their own separate rooms, telling Azzi how lovely it was to meet her. 

“Can you get off her back, so I can give her a hug?” Ice pinches Paige’s arm but the older girl just shrugs her off. 

“No. Go hug someone else.”

“Bro you’re so fucking annoying,” Ice groans and Azzi sends her an apologetic wink but it doesn’t go unnoticed that she doesn’t try to shake Paige off like she normally would. It heals something in Paige to know that Azzi doesn’t want to let go either. And she doesn’t understand why they’re doing this, why they’re fighting this, when neither of them want to. 

“I think your teammates might like me better than you,” Azzi teases when they finally get back to the room and Paige climbs off of her back. The blonde is too lost in her thoughts to come back with a smart quip. And of course her best friend notices it immediately, nudging her quietly, “P? You good?”

Paige blinks up at Azzi, and even before she says the word, she knows Azzi’s already read them in her eyes, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs tiredly, “what happened to pretending tonight?”

“Fuck pretending,” Paige blames the alcohol for how loud her voice comes out, guilty only because it makes the girl in front of her flinch, “I don’t want just tonight. It’s no where near fucking enough. I want forever. With you.”

“That’s not- Paige- we live on different sides of the country.”

“For now, but we can make it work. It’s us,” Paige pleads desperately. 

Azzi scoffs, stepping away from Paige, “you say that like it a good thing.”

“What-”

“Us! We don’t- it’s not- being ‘us’ is not a good thing Paige. May us from before but us now? Us now is complicated and messy and hard and I just- I can’t do this Paige.”

“You can- we can- Azzi- just- think about it okay- sleep on it- you’ll see. You’ll see, I’m right.”

Azzi shakes her head, closing her eyes as a single teardrop leaks out, “you’re making this so fucking hard Paige.”

“I don’t want to- I’m sorry- I’m so sorry baby,” the term of endearment slips through Paige’s lips before she can catch it, “but I need you to think about it once please.”

She moves to cup Azzi’s cheeks, thumb caressing away the tears, “please.”

“Okay, okay,” Azzi nods, resting her forehead against Paige’s, “I’ll think about it.”

They’re quiet as they get changed for bed, thinking about the same thing. Co-existing together comes naturally to them after years of inhabiting each other’s space and the. there's no getting in each other’s way, even if they’re both dead silent. It’s awkward when they finally get into bed, both of them lying on their back, resolutely staring up at the ceiling. Paige is the first one to move, turning onto her side so she can face Azzi. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige thinks that so much has changed, but Azzi’s still that kind of beautiful, the same kind of beautiful Paige had thought of her as since the state championship. 

“What was your answer going to be,” she asks quietly. 

“To what?”

“To Nika’s question. Are you in love with someone right now?”

Azzi hesitates a little bit, before turning her own body to face Paige, “you know the answer Paige, you don’t need me to say it.”

Paige doesn’t prod, knowing they were too volatile for her to keep pushing. Instead she reaches over to intertwine their hands together. 

“Do you know what my answer would have been?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says softly, squeezing her hands, “yeah I do.”

Maybe there’s peace in knowing. Or maybe there’s only more pain. Paige doesn’t know if the truth sets her free, doesn’t know if she could ever even be set free from the shackles that bind her to Azzi, doesn’t think she even wants to be set free. But at least Azzi knows too. Maybe there’s peace in drowning together. 

***

Paige wakes up in a panic when she reaches over and finds the other side of the bed empty. She gets up with a jolt, eyes frantically searching for Azzi, until they finally land on the girl sitting on the couch next to the bed. 

“Fuck,” Paige’s voice is still wracked with sleep, “I thought you left.”

“That’s more your style,” Azzi says and Paige flinches at the reminder, “how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. How about you?”

“Pretty shit actually” Azzi admits, “I woke up every two seconds, scared you’d be gone.”

“Az-”

“You asked me to believe in you- to believe in us and I-” Azzi draws in a sharp breath and Paige knows she’s not going to like where this is going, “I want to- I really, really, wish I could. But I don’t. I can’t- I can’t be with you Paige- not when I’m scared you’re going to break my heart every second.”

“Azzi,” Paige scrambles across the bed, stopping when the girl in question holds her hands up. Everything in her feels like it’s on fire. There are no burn marks on her skin but she swears she’s been turned to ashes underneath. 

“And you deserve better than that too Paige. You deserve someone who- who’s not scared. Who can give you all of herself without- without holding back and I- I can’t do that.”

“You can- fuck- Azzi you can- please,” desperation leaks through every syllable as Paige fights what she knows is a losing battle. 

“Not right now. Too much has happened between us and we can’t- we can’t just ignore all of that and start something new- maybe someday- but not right now.”

Azzi stands up from her seat, hesitantly walking over to Paige’s side of the bed. She cups Paige’s face, watery dark brown eyes meeting crystal blue ones that are glistening with tears. 

“Azzi please,” Paige begs, feeling everything slip away before she’d even had a chance to fight for it. 

Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s forehead, holding them there for what feels like the briefest of seconds until she’s pulling away, “I’m sorry P.”

And then she’s gone and every part of Paige’s heart is gone with her. 

[nightmare-writes]

Succubus Soulmate pt.2

Wanda x Succubus!Reader

Hello everyone! Long time no see. I apologize for the unintended hiatus, life got in the way of me writing on here. I found this sitting in my drafts and I felt like some of you might have wanted to read it. I can’t guarantee that I will write another part of this soon, but if enough people want to see it I can write a part 3. Anyway! I hope you enjoy.

Warnings: masturbation (Wanda) it’s mostly very fluffy and domestic otherwise.

Summary: Your first few days on earth!

You stared at Wanda as she sat huddled up against her wall for a moment or so. You’d never been in this kind of position. You’re used to having some sleeze bag summon you, use you for two minutes, and then go straight back to the underworld while said sleeze bag knocks out in his post nut bliss. With this being your usual, you had no clue what you should do in this situation.

Eventually you fell asleep curled up on the couch with Wanda sitting awkwardly right next to you.

The more Wanda sat there, the more she started to think over logistics. What was she meant to do when she goes into work tomorrow? She couldn’t call out sick so she would have to leave you alone for a few hours. She couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t try to do anything silly while she was away, so she got to ‘succubus proofing’ her apartment.

She didn’t have any baby locks for cabinets so she assumed duct tape would have to do for now. She duct taped all of her cabinets shut, along with the fridge doors, the oven, the microwave, and anything she thought you could get into. She duct taped the cabinet in her bathroom with all her cleaning supplies in it and then went around to every window to duct tape the locks so you couldn’t access them. It felt like she had just gotten a new, untrained, puppy that she needed to ensure wouldn’t accidentally kill itself by drinking bleach thinking it was milk. It took her a few hours but she felt like she had successfully ‘succubus proofed’ her home. She rewarded herself by going to her bed and passing out for the night.

It felt like the moment Wanda closed her eyes, she had to open them back up. Her blaring alarm clock gave her no reprieve as it woke her up. She shut it off before getting ready for work as she usually did.

When she got out to the living room, she saw you were still curled up and resting. She felt a bit guilty as she gently shook you awake, but she needed to talk with you before she went off to work.

You groaned as the movement of your body got you out of your dreamland and forced you back into reality. Rubbing your sleepy eyes, you looked up to Wanda and mumbled “Mornin” almost too quiet for her to hear. She had to admit that you did look cute all sleepy, but she couldn’t be distracted from the task at hand.

“Look, I have to go to work so I’m gonna lay down a few ground rules for when I’m gone.” She says firmly while crouching down to be at eye level with you. “You’re not allowed to leave apartment unless it is burning down or someone broke in.” She starts and you interrupt by saying “If it was burning down I’d stay right where I am, I finally wouldn’t be freezing to death. Do you like living in an ice block?” which garners you an eye roll from the red head. “Second rule, don’t touch any of my things unless it is this remote or-“ she says while looking around for something for you to eat. She spots the cheerios she had set out and decided that that would be a sufficient food source for you before she could go grocery shopping. She scampers over to grab the box from the kitchen along with a water bottle before returning to your side and placing the box and bottle on the coffee table. “- this cereal and this water, got it?” She added. “What if I don’t like the way it tastes?” You ask while poking at the box.

“Well it’s just for now, I’ll be back with more food for you. What do you even eat?”

“Souls of the damned” you say with a straight face before laughing at the disgusted and slightly horrified expression on Wanda’s face. “I usually just eat meat, but now that I’m stuck as this flesh sack I guess I’d eat whatever humans would.”

“Okay, noted.” She says while looking around to see if she needed to say anything else. “You can watch whatever you want on the tv, I have a few streaming apps if you wanna look through those too.” She says and you look at her like she was speaking a whole other language. “What the fuck is a tv.” You deadpan and Wanda thinks you’re joking again until she realizes that you’re serious. “What did you think the remote was for?” She asks and you simply say “A vibrator”

Wanda couldn’t help but laugh while saying “Why in the world would I give you just the remote to a vibrator?” You shrug as Wanda sits down next to you and explains the wonders of the television to you. When she turns it on, you were absolutely terrified at first. You yelped and hid behind her while she giggled at your antics. “It’s not going to kill you, here let me show you how it works.” She says softly while gently coaxing you out of hiding. She didn’t want to put on anything scary since she didn’t want you to think it was real, so she went to her disney+ account and put on some kids show that her coworkers kids absolutely loved. “You can watch this while I’m gone, okay?” She says while gesturing to the colorful dogs that were dancing on the screen. The moment your eyes hit the screen, you were entranced by what you were seeing. You didn’t look away from it as you nodded.

Wanda gave you a small pat on the head before setting the box of cheerios next to you so you’d actually remember that they were there. She moved her hands in front of your eyes when you didn’t turn to look at her and you immediately swatted her hand away so you could continue to watch. She just giggled to herself before saying “Have fun, I’ll be back soon.” and heading off to the office.

You quickly learned that your first favorite thing on earth was a show called Bluey. You’re second favorite thing were the delicious crunchy circles that Wanda gave you. You had devoured the entire box of cereal after about 10 or so episodes of bluey and you wanted more. You figured out how to pause the funny dogs on the television so you could go find more crunchy circles.

Your quest begins in the place where Wanda brought the box from in the first place, the kitchen. You were greeted by a collection of places where the sugary treat could be, but when you tried to open up one of the cabinets it was stopped by something. You let out a low growl at the offending silver strip before your short nails grew into fierce claws that tore through it. The first cabinet you opened was filled with random white disks. You grabbed one and tried taking a bite to see if it was tasty like your crunchy circles, but it didn’t break in between your teeth so you gave up on it.

You spent a few more minutes tearing through all the tape in the kitchen and looking for snacks. You eventually stumble upon a heavy bag that was easy to rip open. It was filled to the brim with tiny white crystals that looked edible, so you gave it a lick. You were instantly hooked. It tasted so yummy, kind of like the crunchy circles but this time it was just the sweet tasting part.

You returned back to the couch so you could keep watching the silly dogs while licking your delicious new treat.

———————————————————

Wanda was thankfully able to get off of work early and was able to convince her supervisor to let her work from home for a few days by giving some excuse about having to take care of some relatives child while they were in the hospital for a bit.

She returns home to see you, still sitting on the couch watching the show she put on earlier, but now you were eating something that was definitely not cheerios. “Hey, what are you- are you eating my sugar?!” She exclaims while taking the half eaten bag away from you. You whine and try to take it back from her but she hold it up above her so you couldn’t reach. “How did you even get this?” She questions while shutting the tv off. “I wanted more of this but there wasn’t any in the tiny compartments in the food room so I found that and ate it.” You say while picking up the box of cereal and holding it up. Wanda’s gaze moves over to the kitchen to see all the ripped up duct tape. She sighs and says “I’ll get you more cheerios, okay? No eating just sugar, it’s bad for you.” before giving you a reprimanding bop on your head. She almost changes her mind when she sees the adorable pout on your face, but she stays strong. You give in with a small nod while mumbling “No more… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’ll do better next time.” She says softly while sitting down next to you and hesitantly rubbing your back. You let out a soft purring sound before leaning against Wanda’s side. “More bluey.” you say while pointing to the television. She just chuckles to herself while switching the show back on. “We have to work on your manners, a please would be appreciated.” She says half jokingly.

————————————————————

After you went to sleep, Wanda went about making preparations for the next day. She went back and decided to hide the sugar bag somewhere else in the kitchen. She also put back another layer of duct tape just in case you got any ideas of stealing again.

She went on a late night trip to the supermarket to get a few boxes of cheerios for you and some general groceries since she was running low on practically everything. While she was browsing, she noticed a cute pair of pink mittens and got an idea to stop you from tearing through the duct tape again.

When she got home, she put the groceries away before making her way to her bedroom to make a few modifications to your new mittens. With a bit of ribbon and a lock for each hand, she successfully made a way to keep your hands locked in place. Was it a little evil? Maybe, but you did break a rule that she explicitly said… and the thought of you needing her to do everything for you was too tempting to pass up. She imagined your cute pout as you looked up at her and begged for her to hand feed you your cereal, or having to help you drink your water, or having to beg her to touch you since you couldn’t touch yourself…

Her mind began to wander towards the delicious sounds you would make. Would you whimper and whine while not using your words or would you be begging for more the entire time? Would you be quiet or loud just for her? These questions were burning her mind and sending a certain undeniable heat to her core. As she laid on her bed, her hand slowly crept down her stomach and into the waistband of her panties. She was soaked just from her little fantasy of you. She was desperate to feel your soft, supple skin under her fingers. She wants to squeeze and mark every inch of her body for herself. Her fingers make feather light touches around her clit before slowly speeding up. She was doing it just the way she liked it, but it didn’t feel right.

It didn’t feel right cause you weren’t the one touching her.

While she wanted to keep going, she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere. She pulled her hand out and inspected her fingers that were dripping in her arousal. Her thoughts immediately went to you sucking her fingers clean before she shoves them down your throat so you’d gag on them.

“Get yourself together, Wanda” she muttered quietly to herself while rubbing her face. To stop herself from getting too carried away, Wanda forced herself into the bathroom to take a cold shower and then straight to bed.

——

“You want me to wear what?” You questioned while pointing towards the offending objects in Wanda’s grasp. “I told you not to touch anything and you did it anyway. So until I can trust you enough with your own hands, you’ll be wearing these.” She says while showing you the pretty pink mittens she made for you. You knew she was getting a kick out of this. A part of her wanted to humiliate you and that was clear from the way she was trying not to smile or the way her hands were slightly shaking. The tell tale sign though was the distinct scent of arousal wafting off of her. You knew she had no clue that your sense of smell was leagues above her own, but what she didn’t know didn’t matter. What did matter is that Wanda was starting to express her sexual interests, while indirectly, with you. You felt some weird sense of pride that she was maybe more of a pervert than you thought.

You sighed and held your hands out for her. “Alright, get ‘em on me.” You acquiesce and almost instantly Wanda gets your hands into fists so she could fasten the mitts. When they were both padlocked, you couldn’t stretch your fingers out so it was impossible for you to rip them. “Happy?” You say while waving your imprisoned fists up towards her. “Very” Wanda states before getting the next episode of Bluey on for you. “I’m going to be in the other room doing some work, you stay here and watch your show. I’ll come back in an hour for lunch.” She explains while going to the kitchen and returning with a bowl of cheerios for you. She sets the bowl on the couch next to you before giving you a small pat to the head. “No trouble while I’m working.” She reminds you before going off to work in her room.

——

You could tell that the redhead was distancing herself from you. Whenever she could, she would work in another room than you. She would come check up on you occasionally to make sure you had food and that you were drinking water since “Humans need to drink water to survive.” While it was odd, you did enjoy being doted on even if it was for a few moments. You could tell Wanda was enjoying herself too, but she was too nervous to fully let herself go.

After the fifth time of noticing Wanda checking on you from her bedrooms doorway, you decided to put matters into your own hands. You fiddled with the remote to turn it off before tip toeing over to Wanda’s room. You give it a soft knock and ask “Can I come in? I’m bored.”

You could sense the hesitation from the other side of the door. Wanda was anxious to have a real conversation with you. It was safe to keep your conversation to a bare minimum. The sokovian couldn’t imagine the things she’d admit if she spoke to you for longer than five minutes. However, she had to rip the bandaid off. She couldn’t just leave you to waste away in front of her tv all day. “You may.” Wanda pipes up and you fumble with the door handle until it opens up. “Stupid cloth hands.” You whisper while glaring down at the pristinely pink fabric that was still tightly locked around your hands. “You can sit on the bed if you’d like.” You barely heard Wanda when she said it. You didn’t want to tease her about her nerves since it was easy to tell it might’ve made things worse. You sat down on the edge of the bed closest to her, bouncing a bit on the springy surface. Wanda didn’t look away from her laptop and continued to type away at it as she sat next to you. You scooted closer to her until your cheek rested against her shoulder. You looked over her laptop screen to see a collection of tabs open while Wanda’s cursor was frantically switching between all of them. Her logic was that if she could overstimulate her eyes then she wouldn’t have to think about how close you were to her.

“What are you doing?” You ask while nodding towards the chaos unfolding on the screen in front of you.

“Working.”

“Working?”

“Mhm, this is what humans do for money.”

“What’re you doing to the screen?”

“Important technological stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”

“It doesn’t look that hard, you’re just looking at different pictures.” You point out while putting one of your mitts to the screen.

She sighs when she realizes she’s been caught before closing her laptop. “You got me, you’re more clever than I thought.” Wanda praises you before giving your hair a quick ruffle. You lean into the touch before Wanda could pull her hand away which leads to her giving you a few soft pets. “Now why did you come in here? I thought you’d want to sit and watch your show.” She asks while slowly moving her hand away from you. You whine quietly as she does and Wanda has to resist the urge to play with your hair. “I told you I was bored. I wanna do something.” You reiterated while turning your gaze up towards Wanda’s face. She sits there for a moment thinking about what she could do with you since she was also rather bored. “Why don’t we watch a different show together? I’ll make you a new snack to try.” She suggests and you eagerly nod your head at her idea.

——

“Here, try this. It’s called popcorn.” Wanda says while sitting next to you with a bowl filled to the brim with a new treat for you. You examine this ‘popcorn’ and after giving it a few sniffs you decide that it was good enough to eat. You try to pick up a few pieces but your mitted fisted could barely do anything. Wanda noticed your struggle and giggles to herself. You could tell that she wanted you to ask for help since she was too nervous to offer it herself. “Can you help me eat this?” You ask the redhead and you immediately notice a spark of an idea in those bright green eyes of hers. “You have to ask me nicely if you want help.” She says smugly while watching your face to see if she might’ve stepped over the line. You groan but give into her. “Can you help me eat this popcorn… please?” You ask again and she happily takes a few pieces in her hand and up towards your mouth for you to start snacking. Your face lights up as you’re hit with a completely new taste. “More! Please- I want more popcorn.” You blurt out before opening up your mouth slightly as Wanda feeds you some more popcorn.

——

Wanda soon put on one of her favorite shows, Malcom in the middle, for the two of you to watch as she contributed to feed you. You could feel Wanda’s tension start to ease as more episodes went by. She hasn’t had anyone to watch shows with in forever. It’s always been something she did with her family, but since she moved countries that was near impossible now. It felt blissfully domestic, which was something that Wanda didn’t know she wanted until now.

After some time, you fell asleep curled up next to Wanda as the show continued on in the background. Wanda wasn’t paying any attention to it though, her sole focus was on you.

I hope you all enjoyed! Leave a comment if you want to see this story continue.

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 7 - Gonna Be Okay | ‘Ours’

You and Trent were just in the Maldives splitting banana gelato, clinking spoons as the sun set down the western horizon on a perfect night. Okay, you were eating it all but besides the point. You were sitting yapping with pride about how you never really fought. No couple had ever been so compatible. How perfectly suited you were and retrospectively how perfectly naive. Fast forward and you were in huff in the kitchen because he had promised to refill the dogs water bowls and hadn’t. He left for training completely oblivious that he had forgotten. You were slamming cabinet doors frustrated in a rage. This had become a daily occurrence. Not specifically filling water bowls but just small things had you almost in tears. What had happened. Teddy was a little over a month old. You wouldn’t say things had calmed down with her but there was definitely more of a routine. Although that routine consisted of you and Trent suppressing a lot of issues you were having. It was all about Teddy. All the time. Becoming parents had put a strain on your relationship you weren’t expecting and definitely we’re ignoring. Part of the problem was that you both were exhausted. You had so much less time with each other and much less time for other people after she arrived. Everyday felt like a broken record and broken it was. It was so unusual for you two to work around each other like this as opposed to working together. You always had such good communication, such empathy and understanding but right now… you weren’t sure you'd had a real conversation in about 2 days. You’d never gone this long. The awkwardness was palpable but your schedules made it so you didn’t really even have the space let alone the energy to deal with it.

“T… I’m not just going to stay home and wait for you to be done.” You quipped turning to the refrigerator to grab a water to hand to him. That was the other problem that made this all so easy to ignore. You still so obviously cared for each other. The love never went anywhere so you were still doing a lot of the same things just with a ton of resentment.

“Baby, this is such a bad time for this. I’m literally walking out the house right now.” He calmly said back but you knew what that meant. It was the politest way he could say ‘shut up, I don’t want to talk about this’ Next thing you knew he was gone, out the front door for another away game. You stood cradling Teddy with tears threatening to spill over. God, you were so fucking tired. You prayed things would just sort themselves on their own. When Trent came back things didn’t snap back to normal like you had hoped. It had been days since he returned and you’d both been busy. There was minimal communication outside of ‘can you feed her’ or ‘can you change her’ One more thing that definitely was causing issues was your sleeping arrangement. You couldn’t remember the last time you even cuddled.

“We need to sit down and talk about this, Trent. We can’t fall apart now.” You nervously spoke up coming round the couch to stand in front of him blocking the tv.

“Baby…” he sighed with a puppy dog face. His lips falling into the perfect pout he knew would get his way. He was never good with confrontation and boy did he have the face to get out of it but you had had enough.

“No. No. This is not how this is going to go.” You wiped away tears of frustration that started to build. You were mad you felt so emotional while he sat stoic as ever. “We need a real discussion. Like real adults, Trent. We’re fucking parents, now. We can’t just pretend nothing is going on.” You snapped a little. You had just put Teddy down for a nap so despite the heat of your words your voice was low and soft not wanting to wake her. Whether or not he wanted to admit it or talk about it, Trent felt sidelined while you concentrated mainly on Teddy. Just the same as he felt ignored, sitting on the bench, you felt you had completely disappeared. Everyone focused solely on your baby. Your life had dwindled down to only care and feed for Teddy rather than be a partner or person in your own right.

“I’m really fucking tired Trent… you go and you work out or whatever, let out all your stress out, see your friends and I’m here! I’m here all the fucking time. I can’t leave the house.” You yelled in the quietest way possible. Inside you were fuming as the words came out. It hit you that you couldn’t remember the last time you had left the house without Teddy or not for Teddy. He hated that you were using his first name. He gave you this confused look as to why you thought he wasn’t living this experience of being a new parent with you.

“Why are you trying to keep score?” He flicked his eyes up to you as you stood there in the living room with your hands on your hips. You felt like your knees were going to give out from either exhaustion or desperation but you gave off the appearance of being incredibly strong in the moment.

“Trent! “ you yelped, feeling defeated already by his response. He threw his head to the side, annoyed you kept calling him that and it definitely wasn’t being said in a good way. “When you have a match… ugh! We’re not even sleeping together in the same bed anymore because I have to wake up to feed her and I can’t mess up your schedule for games!” You cried.

“Yeah, go on Y/N. Just keep piling it on. I know, I know I’m not home a lot. I know” He said it with such a harsh tone. You’d give it to him Trent had some drama and sass to him. A bit of a bite you rarely were on this end of. Usually his smart mouth brought humor but this… this was not funny.

“That’s not fair!” You whimpered out. Rubbing your hands over your face beginning to rock back and forth filled with nerves unsure where this conversation was even going.

“It’s so I can provide for you, Y/N. Why don’t you realize that?” He threw the first name seriousness back at you. His eyes widened in disbelief, shocked you couldn’t see what he did for you, sacrificed for you. He gave up so much of his time away from his new born baby to give you the comfortable life you lived but just the same he couldn’t see what you had been sacrificing. “You wanted to have this baby too, Y/N.” He lashed out sitting forward more towards the edge of the couch. His puppy dog face had completely vanished a long time ago. He looked at you like he hated you. You knew he didn’t but right now you weren’t in the frame of mind to have that clear of thinking.

“Stop… do not go there. That’s fucked up and a line you can’t cross.” You were more upset now and rightfully so. Bringing the topic of having Teddy into this was unfair and uncalled for. The second he said it Trent felt a pit in his stomach. You stormed out of the room holding back tears till you were alone and far away enough for him not to hear. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to chase after you and hug you until you forgave him and made up. He wanted to go back to when you could just fuck this out and physically turn a lot of anger into a lot of love. That wasn’t going to happen. This was a battle of words. He knew things were bad, he knew what he said wasn’t great but he didn’t know hot to get to you without messing things up further so he kept his distance. After that squabble it was just days of awkward kitchen run ins. The only time you really spoke were in cutesy voices to Teddy who thankfully you assumed was oblivious to it all. She was maybe 40 days old. It wasn't like she could really pick up on the tension when you asked Trent if he had run the dishwasher but you didn’t want her around this negative vibe for long. You’d never experienced this type of long term strain with him. You never pinned either of you to be the type to hold a grudge but you both felt you had respective points to be made and wouldn’t let go. Once again, Trent had an away game and you murmured a feisty sarcastic ‘of course’ when he told you he was leaving the house. It was unnecessary so he ignored it and told you he loved you anyway. He still meant it, he just didn’t exactly love how cold you’d been towards him lately. It was before he was boarding his flight to come back home when you FaceTimed him. You were putting Teddy to bed. It was routine and just because you weren’t getting along didn’t mean you were going to deprive Teddy of seeing her dad before sleep. Your eyes were practically shutting from lack of sleep while Trent babbled to her.

“You know who’s just as perfect as you, baby bear? Your mummy.” You heard it and furrowed your brow. Were you crazy? Did he not know you had been fighting? You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, baby we gotta get through this.” He tried to get you to loosen your grip on the whole thing but you weren’t having it. Trent just wanted to brush over this, move and put a plaster over it. He wanted you back in his arms desperately. After you hung up you definitely felt a little bit guilty. You knew he was trying his best. It was just Trent’s way. All he wanted to do was love you but you needed something different than that right now. In a fun twist, it was Trent’s birthday this week. You couldn’t have felt more awkward about it. Truthfully and deep down you knew this fighting was temporary and you loved him so you didn’t want to taint a day you had the opportunity to really show him how much you did love him but you were stubborn. You didn’t want to be the one to say sorry first and you certainly were not going to go the rest of your life as a mother like this, you needed a conversation. Per usual as of late, you awkwardly both got ready in your wardrobe together. He asked what you wanted him to wear. Normally the task would excite you. You loved dressing him. He didn’t really mind either way even though he looked significantly better when you did. You could tell this was some sort of olive branch but it wasn’t enough. You just dragged your hand over the closet full of his tops lazily pulling out a Rhude t-shirt to hand to him. He gave a half assed smile disappointed his effort didn’t do anything. You put on a tanish grey linen off the shoulder mini dress. You actually liked it and felt okay in it. The dress was doing a lot considering you jusstttt had Teddy. He zipped your dress. His hands on your cold skin made you shiver. It was strange that his touch made you feel that way. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You selected a pair of heels you hadn’t been able to wear since before you were pregnant. They just ran narrow and your swollen feet weren’t having it. You picked out a purse you bought in a pregnant haze. It was insanely kitschy and looked like a takeout box but it happened to be almost £2,000 from YSL. Trent probably gave into cravings in a different way than most people. You had bought some ridiculous things while pregnant but it was still cute. You stood in the mirror inspecting the full outfit.

“You look good.” Trent muttered out seeing you as he sat on the bed waiting for you. He meant it. He never said stuff like that if he didn’t. Dianne was coming over to take care of Teddy. You were not thrilled about leaving her but you wouldn’t be out long. It’s not like you and Trent were exactly eager to spend alone time together despite it being much needed. You had made a reservation at a Sushi place you went to when you celebrated his birthday on your first visit. It was sweet in theory but now it just rubbed it in how much things had changed.

“Tuna roll?” He asked you, inspecting the menu even though you both knew exactly what you were getting. You could recite his sushi order backwards. You were excited to finally have sushi again so as much as this was for Trent it was a little for you too. You ate your meal talking about basic things you might talk to a neighbor about, fairly generic for two people that lived together, that loved each other. You had ordered a special roll Trent was too scared to try but you made him have a piece anyway. He liked it and a while later he plucked another piece off your plate with his chopsticks. You widened your eyes at him, your jaw slacked. He gave you a cheeky grin with his cheeks full as he chewed. You kept eating until he did it again. You had now given him half of your order.

“T! Stop!” You giggled. He was so annoying and you hated how cute he was every time he was being a pest.

“I’ll buy you more, beautiful.” He cooed, taking a fourth of your six piece roll. You laughed at him shaking your head. It kind of felt like you were just beginning to date again. He was flirting with you and it made your heart flutter. You looked at him and watched in what felt like slow motion his big hand reach across the table to wipe a bit of soy sauce that had rested atop your lips. The feeling of his fingers on your lips, near your mouth, had your heart racing. Images of times he pushed his fingers in your mouth while he fucked you flashed in your mind. There was something about Trent in a white t-shirt. He just looked so fresh and clean. Sexy. It made you think of the first time you gave him head you remember watching his back muscles dance as he pulled the white t-shirt over his golden brown skin. You had hummed at the image.

“At a white t-shirt?” He questioned what you were possibly so enamored with.

“No, you in a clean white t-shirt after I just had your cock in my mouth” You corrected him. He couldn’t hold the grin back. He walked back over to you holding the pair of camouflage pants he was going to wear.

“It’s so good. I like this one. You always know the hits.” His voice cut off your moment of reverie. He was really fucking handsome. As messy and tense as things had been you’d never not be attracted to him and that only made it that much annoying when he did stupid shit. As you drove towards home it was like the mood lowered with every passing mile. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to get back to Teddy. You actually felt like you could burst with the need to get her back in your arms. It just was that this dinner was some sort of escape from the reality of things. There weren’t dog’s water bowls he could forget to fill at the restaurant.

It had been almost two months post birth and you really didn’t want to nor have any desire to have sex. You thought about his body that way for sure, but the idea of him touching your body was hard to imagine. Previously, sex was what birthdays between you and Trent consisted of and you loved it. It was fun and hot. A time to try things out, spend all day in bed but you were so exhausted and frankly sore. Your body felt anything but sexy… it felt gross like it wasn’t actually yours anymore. You often felt touched out at the end of the day. You had a baby on you practically 24/7. Sex was the last thing on your mind leaving Trent feeling fairly neglected and rejected. It was the perfect storm. You barely were sleeping together so the second you were he wanted to be all over you and the second he was you just wanted to be alone. You went to bed that night, backs facing one another with your arms slightly outstretched towards the middle of the bed linking pinkies not okay with being completely out of reach from the other. It was strange but gave you a tinge of hope. You laid in bed the next day and got to sleep in. Trent handled morning duties with Teddy. He even took her for a walk in her pram just to get her outside.

“She’s down for her nap.” He came back into your bedroom a while later. You just hummed.

“I’ll feed her when she wakes up again.” You practically scoffed at him for no reason. It was uncalled for but you just felt so annoyed. What were you two doing… it felt so unnecessary and yet you couldn’t get over the hurdle. Trent stared at you in bed. He didn’t like what he saw. He knew you, he knew your body so well and yet you almost looked foreign. You were limp, crashed into the bed, face first into the pillows, barely under the covers. It made him terribly sad. As hard headed as Trent could be, he wasn’t dumb. He was a really empathetic person; he just needed a minute to sort out his own emotions. He needed to really get a good look at you again. Like right now, it was like something changed. Like he finally understood what was going on.

“Y/N…” he cooed softly sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. He very cautiously reached his hand out to stroke your arm. You felt cold. He shut his eyes, hating how things had been. You had just become a family, welcomed your baby girl together and yet you had never felt less like one. He kissed the back of your arm. You shivered feeling the lips you absolutely adored for the first time in a while. You missed him. “I want to make things better. I’m really sorry. Can we talk?” He nervously murmured out. A barely there subtle soft smile pulled on your face. You knew you would get to the point of having a calm discussion about what’s been going on. You didn’t think it would take so long and honestly you didn’t think it’d be him to initiate it but it didn’t matter. You sat back against the headboard of your bed and pulled your knees to your chest. You looked at him closely inspecting his face to see if it had changed any since you last had a proper look. It hadn’t. His eyes still had a warm honey hue in the light, lips still perfectly plump, his skin annoyingly smooth despite minimal effort. His amber smell wafted towards you.

“I’m sorry too, baby.” You looked at him with obvious pain in your eyes. When he heard the pet name he knew you had to just make it through this conversation and everything would be a lot better.

“I know I should know and understand without having to do this but can you explain to me what you’ve been feeling? I want to hear you out so I can be better. Just tell me what I need to do to get things back on track. How do I do more than I’m doing? I feel exhausted.” He babled a little feeling just as nervous as you. His words kind of broke your heart. He really was trying his best. He didn’t know how to do anything different yet.

“T… I know you do a lot for me, for her, for us but as much as it is work for you… you do get to leave here everyday. You get the escape. I know you think about us when you’re not here” he nodded, confirming he definitely did think about you but he didn’t want to interrupt you so he stayed silent. “Just consider for even the 90 minutes when you are fully focused on a match. As you should be, I’m not saying otherwise. That's 90 minutes I’m alone, with her, at home, and unfortunately still dealing with a lot of the physical aftermath as well. Like my body is in so much discomfort and pain and I have her on me constantly. I don’t mean to sound patronizing but you could never understand how I feel in my own body right now�� and that’s just the some odd 90 minutes we’re talking about not all the days you’re away for” your eyes started to welle. “I need you to support me a little here.” Your voice was shaky. Trent reached out and grabbed your hands.

“I want to support you, baby I’m so sorry.” He quivered, upset you had been feeling this way. “I hate that I wasn’t thinking about things that way. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you went through to give us our family. I think I pull out this card that I am providing for you because it’s one of the only things I can give back to you. Only thing I know I can control and contribute. You give me so much, you gave me her. It’s hard because I know the way you provide for me is something I’ll never be able to reciprocate.” He stared at your intertwined hands unable to look you in the eyes. “I do think about you 24/7. I feel like I’m gonna cry when I pull out of the driveway and it’s not just about leaving Teddy, it's leaving you. It’s different now, leaving. I feel like I’m letting you down when I go. It was easier for me lately just to shut it out and not tell you that because I feel so guilty. Everytime I’m on the pitch laughing I just hope you’re at home laughing with her.” He tried to explain his rational and you understood.

“T, that’s the problem though. I don't want to be at home all the time. I don’t want you to feel guilty, baby, either but we really need to find a way to help the other person with what they’re going through. We’re both doing this for the first time and it’s really fucking hard” your voice was shaking realizing just how difficult things had been.

“We work a lot better together. I’m not keen on the whole opposing sides thing. How do we figure this out?” You knew Trent was very action oriented so you thought for a moment how to explain things.

“Okay…erm like I need to go get my hair done. Can you please actually tell me you’re taking her. Not go to your mums… like you, baby. Take her, don’t offer. She’s your baby too. And honestly, not even just going to do my hair, even showers at home, T. During the day if you’re here. She’s like glue… constantly stuck to me.” You giggled a little bit thinking about your baby girl’s clinginess.

“She’s cute glue to be fair” he laughed and it shattered your heart in the best way. He hadn’t laughed with you since dinner. You shook your head with a smile knowing that was half the issue here. Teddy was so cute, everything had just been glossed over every time she batted her eyes. “But I understand, baby.”

“How can I help you, T?” you asked, moving your hand to his thigh. Your touch sent electricity coursing through his body. He was staring at your hand on him before his eyes flickered up to lock with yours he gave you the most beautiful smile you loved. Childish, full.

“You know, maybe you can drive me AXA or come see me. I don’t mean to make it about footie but it’s where I have to be for almost 7 days a week. I want to see her. I want to see you.” He looked scared to even bring up football at the moment but he was right it was his whole life.

“I got it. We can do that. Would be nice. Little carpool… drop daddy off.” You cooed with a giggle bobbing back and forth on the bed thinking about it. You could feel the air lifting and lightening as you continued breaking down how to be more supportive. You talked for ages outlining things you both needed help with. “We can do this, hmm? “ you said apprehensively. He winked at you and your heart skipped a beat. You much preferred when you were on good terms. You gave him a childish smile. Both shy and confident about being able to figure this out with him.

“There she is.” He cooed, stroking his thumb over your full cheek. “My beautiful girl. I love you so so much. I’m sorry, baby. Honest. C’mere.” He pulled you into him and you felt your whole body relax. Relax more than it had in months. “We’re gonna be okay.” He kissed you. You felt a shiver run up your spine in the best way. You felt relief.

“And on cue… she’s nothing but persistent” you giggled hearing Teddy coo over the baby monitor. Trent kissed you again. He started to stand up from his seat on the bed.

“You want to shower? I’ll go get her.” He asked you genuinely serious.

“Funny…” you quipped back not amused with the joke you thought he was making.

“I’m serious! If we’re gonna do this you have to at least let me help you!” He laughed at you. He pulled you by your hands up from the bed. He placed his own hands on your shoulders and walked you into the en-suite.

“Okay, okay, I can do it.” You wiggled out of his hold and began to pull off your clothes. Laughing as your dragged your top over your head.

“So difficult” he teased with a similar laugh squeezing your now bare sides. He began to walk out of the bathroom.

“Hey T…” you stared in the mirror back at him. He turned around with a hum. “I love you, baby.” You said sheepishly but still very sure of it. He nodded with a soft sympathetic smile. “Could we maybe do a birthday redo today with Ted?”

“I love you more than anything in the world, beautiful. Absolutely, you girls going to to take me out?” He thought he was so so funny all the time. The corniness was half the charm. He just was cute and simultaneously sexy.

“Just so annoying all the time.”you joked as he walked a little closer to you before he smushed another wet kiss onto your cheek that you loved. When he came back in with Teddy already dressed, ready to go, you knew things were going to be fine. You both were just new at this whole parenting thing. Trent drove down into the city center and you felt so incredibly domestic going on a family outing. You decided on something low key and normal so you went out to get coffees and walk the docks.

“I haven’t been down here for ages.” He spoke into the crisp fall air. He pushed Teddy’s Dior pram back and forth as you sat outside at a little coffee place you loved.

“You’ve been missing out on a very good croissant” you mumbled with your mouth full.

“Clearly.” He laughed at you before pulling a hearty piece from your croissant to pop in his mouth.

“Me and Marce used to come here all the time, you know?” You kept talking. You weren’t even sure he knew that. So it made you smile to connect again. Talk about things and open up.

“You two do so much shit without me” Trent feigned jealousy but as much as he joked you knew he actually did feel a little envious of all the relaxed down time you and his brothers shared together.

“We’ll start being bad at your job and maybe you wouldn’t have to play in Europe all the time, you could hang with us.” You teased leaning over to check on Teddy.

“You know you maybe should’ve been a comedian, baby. Just hilarious all the time. So funny. I’m dying of laughter.” He said with a completely straight face. You could tell though he was making a big effort not to crack a smile at you. “What do you think, Ted? Is mummy funny?” Trent cocked his head to look at her. She just wiggled in her seat excited she was getting attention from him. She loved anytime Trent even walked into a room let alone paid her mind. You grabbed her tiny hand gently folding it into a thumbs up and showed it to him. He rolled his eyes at you.

“You said that on our first date too and I think I proved you wrong. I am funny. You do think I am whether you want to admit it.” You teased referring to when you met outside your apartment for the first time telling him you would have to take the subway to dinner.

“You’re not as funny as you think” he quipped. You walked next to him up to the corner of your block towards the restaurant.

A lot of memories came up lately just because of the massive change you were experiencing. A part of you felt like you were mourning the loss of the juvenile versions of yourselves who didn’t have a care in the world. Your only concern was being each other's arms and the painstaking moments between kisses. Now… now you had a life you had to support, a human to raise. You reached across the table and grabbed Trent’s hand. You ran your fingers back and forth over his knuckles. He smiled at you and picked his hand up with yours. He pressed his lips lightly to your skin. You picked your head up to look at the water, as a boat further out in the river coasted by. You clocked a man taking a photo of Trent as you sat at the table outside the cafe.

“Seriously, if only you were bad at your job.” You nodded subtly towards the man. Trent turned to see him after your gesture. He looked back at you with an apologetic look. He was just trying to spend time with you and Teddy so when the man came over it was a little awkward but he was still really kind and patient. Trent really didn’t want a photo of Teddy out yet though so he politely declined the photo.

“Sorry, mate, I’d love to but I’m with my family right now. It was lovely to meet you though. Thank you for all your support.” Trent spoke low, not trying to draw more attention to himself in downtown Liverpool.

“You can.” You whispered with a nod of approval not minding if he took a photo.

“Ahhh yeah alright lad, you know what we’ll take one quick. Face this way.” Trent turned so the city was behind them in the photo, not you and Teddy. He winked at you. You picked up Teddy from her pram and kept her tight to your chest, rocking her gently.

You went home and ate dinner at your dinning room table with your family. You couldn’t believe you had a family now but you were just happy that you and Trent were back to the place you were in before. You made the cake you previously had planned to with the help of some grubby fingers taste tasting and they weren’t Teddy’s. You had given Trent his presents on his actually birthday but this felt more important, more special. You wanted to make Trent something from scratch. You grew up with the luxury of learning how to bake and cook, not needing to. Your mum brought you with her to France to take some classes for your 16th birthday once and you found you had a knack for it. It was a good cake to be honest, a take on funfetti. You had shown Trent funfetti when you were on a trip back in the US once and he just loved it so that was that. Birthday cake decision made. You placed birthday candles in the cake and dimmed the lights in your dining room and sang happy birthday to him swaying with your baby girl. When you finished and he blew out his candles he pulled you into his lap. You sat down nuzzling your face into his neck.

“Happy Birthday Daddy, we love you so much, T.” You kissed his neck again and again. Teddy attempted a giggle and a smile fascinated with the noise of your lips peeling on and off his skin. “Say happy birthday dada” you cooed squishing Teddy’s cheeks together with one hand gently. She squealed. You both laughed at her excitement.

“Thank you my beautiful girls. You’re my whole world. I love you both so much.” He gave Teddy a big kiss and you pouted at him as you waited for yours. Teddy wasn’t sleeping through the night but her naps were getting longer you guessed. You and Trent laid her down for what Trent was hoping to be an especially long one.

“Did I tell you how sexy you looked today?” He whispered in your ear with a cheeky nibble to your earlobe as you walked down the hallway. His arms hung around your frame heavily. You rolled your eyes swatting at his arm.

“C’mon, baby. How often do I tell you you’re sexy? I need you to know how sexy you are.” He cooed as you entered your bedroom. He plopped onto the edge of the bed and you went to follow him for a cuddle. You wanted to be close to him. Finally back in each others good graces you wanted to feel connected. Trent did too just in a different way. He held his hand out to stop you from coming closer. You cocked your head confused. You backed up a few steps and stared at him waiting for him to tell you some sort of direction.

“Lemme see. I know you. Lemme see what you have on today.” He spoke with a tone that sent the most excited shiver running down your spine, your pussy throbbed. You gradually began to pull your clothes off, layer by layer. You stripped for him. You giggled at the way it made you feel. Trent had a way of making you feel sexy without even touching you. The way his jaw slacked. You turned away from him to slide off the trousers you had on, bending over. He groaned throwing his head back as you spun around for him. He shook his head in disbelief of your figure. “Still my birthday?” You nodded with a shy smile. “Lay down for me…” so you followed instructions. He watched you lay back on the bed. To be fair you hadn’t really thought of doing this tonight but regardless you always liked to get undressed in front of Trent revealing little lingerie sets and he knew you did it for him. You wouldn’t even turn to acknowledge him as you’d lean over the bathroom sink counter in different colored lace every day just for show. He climbed over you and looped his finger under the middle of the sheer black Gucci bralette you’d chosen for today. Your breath hitched. Okay, now you were definitely thinking about it. You were praying he’d be gentle with you since this would be your first time after Teddy but also funnily with the lingerie too; you liked it and it was expensive. You’d lost too many pairs of panties over your relationship with him to tears. He looked down at you with a look you forgot made your heart race. He kissed your ankle. “I love these legs, I love these thighs.” He worked kisses all over and up your whole body. “I love this hip, this stomach..” he kissed every bit of you. You couldn’t get enough of falling back into the swing of things with him.

“Baby, be gentle with me, okay?” You said to him with fear in your eyes. You sighed a little embarrassed. He just looked at you in adoration.

“I’ll take care of you, yeah? I always do. Make you remember just how beautiful I think you are.” He whispered into your ear. The vibration alone made goosebumps raise on your skin. You had the biggest fucking smile on your face after he said that. You knew you were in for a treat. Sex with Trent was something you hoped you would never struggle with. His hand lightly grabbed your jaw pulling you into a kiss. His plump soft lips feeling as perfect as ever. He dragged his hand down your throat and you moaned missing this feeling. This feeling of Trent in total control of you. He kept his hands on you and over you before he cheekily pitched your nipples.

“Oh, fuckkk” you yelped out incredibly sensitive and incredibly turned on.

“Open your mouth f’me, beautiful.” He cooed and without needing to think you did. Your eyes widened in awe of how sexy he looked above you. His other hand beginning to work his length. You sucked around his fingers licking the underside like you would his cock. He abruptly pulled them out and guided them down to your pussy. He ran his fingers through your folds before he began to slowly pump two thick digits inside of you. “Fuck, baby. I missed this pussy. Feel so good already” his voice rumbled in the quiet room as his thumb stretched up to roll over your clit.

“C’mere baby. You’re so fucking soaked I bet I could just…” he dragged his tip through your wet pussy. You weren’t expecting to be as wet as you were but it was Trent you shouldn’t have been all that surprised. “You’re so beautiful and all mine” he paused perfectly, lining up his cock with your entrance and suddenly all of the air slipped out of your lungs. He was on his knees in front of you holding your one leg up as you laid back into the mattress. His firm grip around you doing most of the work.

“Oh my fucking god, T…” Oh my god was right. You could never forget how good the sex was but this. This felt really fucking good. Your eyes fluttered closed as he slowly pushed deeper, sticking to his promise to be gentle. You gasped feeling his length. You cupped his scruffy cheeks. You blew out short breaths as you tried to adjust to his size.

“I love you so much, you know that right?” He whispered again. He felt good but also slightly uncomfortable and strangely new again. He sank his body weight down on top of you so that he became your entire focus trying to not let your mind spiral into anxiety about what he thought you felt like after your baby. You could only nod. You breathed heavily. Your legs wrapped around his arm curling to hook around it, shutting your eyes in pleasure.

“I love you, T.” You whined as you felt your legs tremble already. He nuzzled impossibly deeper. You blinked your eyes open. You locked with his deep brown eyes, soft and sensitive filled with sincerity. You tried to makeout with him needing to feel those lips on yours but you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think let alone multitask as he began to thrust into you slowly. You were anxious to do this but frankly, Trent felt unbelievable and if possible maybe somehow better than that. Being back inside you had his head spinning. His heart faltered a little seeing your beautiful face scrunch up. His body weight further pressed onto you while he scooped his arm under your other leg holding it up closer to your chest Your nails dug into his biceps leaving crescent marks. You whined a sound that was music to his ears. You found a rhythm that worked for you. A rhythm that made your slightly enlarged boobs bounce more for him.

“God, I love your tits, baby.” He said it with a smile eliciting a giggle from you at the compliment. Sex had never felt better emotionally. Your eyes started to water. You felt so in love with him. “You okay, baby? Tell me you’re okay. Tell me you want this?." You really did appreciate his concern; it was just hard to talk at the moment. He leaned closer to your neck licking over your most sensitive spots waiting for a response. “Hmm?”

“I want you, T. You just feel really good.” You whimpered. Tears filled your lash line so he slowed. “Please, T… more.” His eyes widened. He was nervous his current pace was already too much so it was a surprise to hear.

“I'm right here. You have me.” His face was hovering over yours. He managed to give you the kisses you so desperately wanted all over your face, your neck, your shoulders underneath him. You clenched around him. He felt it and almost giggled. He was excited to have this power back. “You wanna be a good girl and cum for me, baby?”

“I’m gonna cum. Please. Please, T. Make me cum.” You moaned as he pushed a little deeper inside with every thrust. A familiar but distant feeling crashed over you. Your brain turning to mush. His cock throbbed inside you. He grunted overwhelmed seeing you cum under him once again. He could imagine it all he wanted but he missed seeing it in real time. “T… cum inside me again, okay? Make me take all of it. I want it. Cum for me.” You whined more. He let out a strained breath. That was it for him. Knowing you missed this. That you wanted this. Wanted him. He tipped over the edge, pumping you full of his cum. With one more final deep thrust he ran his hands through your hair grabbing it pulling your head forward into the most passionate kiss you might’ve ever shared. The tension you had felt the past few weeks evaporated. You stayed tight to his body as you breathed heavily. You both were panting as he leaned his forehead on yours before he as tender as possible pulled out. He sat back for a moment and admired you. Stroking up your thigh gingerly, he breathed out a sigh of appreciation.

“Can you be a good girl f’me and spread your legs.” He asked so kindly you did it almost instinctively. “Fucking unreal. Every day since I met you.” He kissed from your stomach up to your neck nuzzling his face in his hands trailing behind his tongue the whole way. You thought you’d cuddle till Teddy woke up but you were wrong. You spread your legs the best you could. Trent cursed. His fingers traced through your folds gathering up the cum. He swiftly and slowly dipped two of his fingers inside of you. The sensation was so overwhelming and overstimulating. He pumped them methodically, deep, curling inside you.

“Wait.. wait baby. Ah!” You whined. Your hips bucking up into him.

“Gimme one more, baby.” He asked as he nibbled on your neck. You couldn’t handle the feeling. It was too much and you had poor control. You came hard and fast, squirting a little.

“Fuck… T” You panted so heavily. Completely out of breath. You just laid there eyes closed as your chest heaved up and down. You needed a moment. He laughed and frantically laid down next to you pretty proud of his work. You were tangled up in bed until you heard the little coo and whine you loved so much.

“Lemme go check on her, you stay put. I bet you’re tired.” Trent winked at you and as annoying as his playful comment was, it was very true. He pulled on his boxers and sweats and walked down the hallway into Teddy’s nursery.

“Baby bear, you okay?” Trent cooed, scooping Teddy up gently as her cries lulled. He hummed, swaying back and forth. “Wish you could tell me what you’d need. I’d do it right away, you know that?” He pressed his lips to her identical ones. “‘My little Ted. You’re so beautiful. You look like me, but I can’t tell you’re perfect just like mummy, baby girl” he whispered softly to her. It was a while later and you still laid in bed expecting to have fallen right to sleep after all that with Trent but you couldn’t knowing your two favorite people in the world were still awake just down the hall. You got up and put on a little gray sleep set. It was comfortable and that’s just what your body needed right now because you definitely were sore.

“I felt left out.” You pouted in the doorway of Teddy’s room looking at Trent reading her a book. He picked his head up with a soft smile and beckoned you over to sit on the couch with them. Teddy’s face lit up.

“Oh wow… you excited to see mummy, huh teddy girl? Weren’t that excited to see me.” Trent teased. You slapped at his bare chest before grabbing her. She hiccuped overly excited. Her head fell onto you. You hummed kissing her chubby cheek . “I like this.” He pulled on the fabric of the tiny shorts you were in. You shrugged.

“You can continue. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” You giggled a little. You smushed your face into Trent’s arm ruining your view of the colorful book but making a better one for her. You pushed your lips to kiss Trent as he read. The sound of his voice was perfect, calm and steady. It lulled you into an incredibly sleepy state. Trent plucked Teddy out of your tired arms to hold her more securely. He wrapped his free arm around you and pulled you into him. Your head fell onto his shoulder. You hugged his waist tightly.

“My girls. Hmm?” He cooed, pressing a kiss to you and Teddy. You fell asleep listening to him. He let you and Teddy sleep on him for a while. He just relaxed, closing his eyes, happy with the affection, rubbing his hands up your back. Some time later Teddy woke up and was restless. Her little grunts and whines woke you up. “You wanna feed Ted then you and me can go try to get in bed?” Trent cooed with a sympathetic smile knowing you were exhausted. You nodded still half asleep but you understood. Sticking to your schedule was important for all of you. It took longer than expected to get her fed and down again but you did it. You draped your arms around Trent’s shoulders just staring up at him tired in her room. He pressed his nose to yours. His hands cheekily sliding over your ass. He kneaded it, raising up the material of your shorts. He pulled you closer into his embrace. He cupped your ass and picked you up from under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“We’re actually going to bed… like sleep, right?” You cooed as Trent walked you back to your room in his arms. He laughed a little. You were nervous with the way his hands were on you if he was trying to have sex again and you were sure you could handle that yet.

“Yeah. We need to sleep. I have to go in tomorrow at 10 too.” He cooed as you stroked your thumb over his cheek. You pushed your face into the nape of his neck until he placed you on your bed. “Baby, we’re gonna be okay. I promise we’ll work on this together. I won’t let us get that way again. I know we’ll have our dips but we’re just learning to grow together.”

“I agree. Just have to talk more I think. I’m sorry I didn’t express how I felt. It’s unfair to assume you should know how I feel without me verbalizing it, that you know what is going on when we’re both doing this for the first time.” He shook his head dismissing your apology. “We might have dips like you said but T, I want this. I want us. I want this to work. God, I need this to work. I don’t think I could survive without you.”

“You could but you’ll never have to. Never even give you the chance to find out.” He cut you off. You squeezed his arm.

“I don’t want to find out. T… what do you think will happen next for us?” You tucked in closer to him cuddling up in your bed. He didn’t respond right away so you felt a little taken aback. Awkward almost. Ironic considering the things that were just said. “Like in the next five years, you know?” You tried to clarify.

“No, I know what you meant. I was just thinking of how I wanted to phrase it. I know this sounds cheesy so don’t make fun cause I’m serious.” He spoke slow. You hung onto every word of his.

“Serious” you mocked his accent and he gave you glare. You just smiled back.

“Next five years for me… just loving you. I’ve told you a million times I want to get married. I know we’re not too far into this one but I’d want another another baby… you know whenever you’re ready.” He tried to unnecessarily explain there was no pressure.

“Really?!” You would’ve squealed with excitement if Teddy weren’t finally asleep. You had jumped at the word marriage. “What ring are you gonna get meeee?” You giddily teased and moved even closer to him, laying your head and hand on his chest. “I think if I were to like make my perfect ring from scratch..” you began talking at the speed of light. You were off in dream land now. “I want a tou et moi because that’s what my parents did.” He nodded with a smile lovingly the way you spoke, the way you looked when you got excited. “I like the two-stone setting too. It’s just so beautiful to look down and see like a real representation of two people together and I kinda like the idea of the three ring deal.” You were referring to the concept of having one ring for engagement, one for marriage, and one for eternal love, usually anniversaries. Trent listened intently watching your animations. He’d asked you before nonchalantly what you wanted but you didn’t think much of it. You knew he talked about marrying you but you didn’t know when or even if that would happen.

“Oh yeah?” He picked up your left hand and kissed your knuckles. He felt pretty good about himself imagining what he has had hidden downstairs in a safe for about a year now.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 8 xx

[kozachenko]

[Click for better quality]

OK finally back with some more drawings! Since Touhou 17 is approaching it's 5 year anniversary soon, I wanted to draw at least one of the charatcers (hopefully I'll still be motivated to draw Keiki lol) and I had some ideas for Saki and I've never drawn her before, so that's how we got here!

Artist's Notes;

So after doing some drawings of my OCs (who I will reveal upon a later date since I still wanna finalize their designs) and finally getting out of my art funk that I've been in for a while, I started off this drawing with the mentality of "oh yeah I'm just gonna put together this quick outfit for Saki and I won't bother rendering it"

...and then I did but to be honest I am very happy I did because oh my god clothes are so fun to render for me now. I remembered the technique I used on my drawing of Reimu and applied that here. That technique being using triangles to imply shadows and highlights in clothing and then blending out those shadows to give the clothing some three dimensionality. My favourite things that I rendered in this piece were the gloves, hat and the belt buckle (since I applied a technique for rendering gold and metal objects that I remember seeing/hearing about a while ago). Don't get me wrong, I love how all the clothing turned out in this piece but the gloves are the real standout of this piece to me. I also had some fun with the cowboy boots (I couldn't figure out how to make those cool metal star things work on the boots though that is a sin I fully intend to fix later down the line) since when I looked at references for them I noticed how some of them had these intricate details embroidered (?) onto them.

Also, in the earliest phases of this drawing Saki had this really big black coat that I decided to get rid of later down the line because it really does not work with her fighting style and it did not stand out against her wings, and the logistics of her getting said jacket with her wings on confused me. Like, I can kind of imaging that on her shirt she has a little open spot for her wings that she can just put them in. That goes for Yachie to but now I'm even more confused because all her clothes must need some open backs because of her shell??? Which raises some more questions, like, can she just never be on her back when sleeping??? Looking at Yuuma we can see that the beast yakuza in Touhou can freely change their form from human to beast so can Yachie just double down on the human bit and get rid of her shell temporarily so she can sleep comfortably??? Because if she lays on her back is she just kinda wobbling around like most turtles are when they're on their backs? Can she hypothetically retreat into her shell, if so that has some weird implications to how her anatomy works. Like, what does her skeleton look like? Seriously, what are the logistics here WHERE DOES YACHIE GET HER FUCKING CLOTHES BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY NEED TO BE SPECIFICALLY TAILORED SO SHE CAN PUT IT ON TO FIT HER SHELL I DON'T NEED SLEEP I NEED ANSWERS YACHIE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS-

....rant aside, you can see the remnants of this idea in the tattered back of her... idk what to call it but I know she has a variant of this in her OG design. I mainly wanted to test this out because of the cursed realization that The Ghoul in Fallout Prime is just a male Saki but if Utsuho gave Saki radiation poisoning. No seriously, they're smug ass cowboys who are so sure of their own strength that have fought at least one mechanically engineered robot in some variation of a wasteland with an affinity for dogs. I'm now morbidly curious as to what would happen if you put the two of them in a room together. Would they try to kill each other? Would they become besties? Would they try to kill each other and then become besties? Who knows. But yeah jokes aside the tattered cloth was a design choice that was inspired by The Ghoul from Fallout Prime because y'know, same vibes. And also because yes I do love Fallout Prime and I am so ready for season two IT'S SO GOOD GO WATCH IT EVEN IF YOU AREN'T FAMILIAR WITH FALLOUT AS A SEIRES GO DO IT NOW, SAIL THE SEVEN SEAS FOR IT IF YOU HAVE TO JUST WATCH IT-

I knew for Saki's face I wanted to give her some thick eyebrows, it just makes sense. I also wanted to give her some scarring on her face because she's a crime boss, why wouldn't she have scars? I also had some fun with her little horse ear that's sticking out from the side of her hat since it would kinda look weird if she just had no ears period. I also went ham on stylizing her ponytail into this weird swirl, since if I were to show you some of my recent doodles from my sketchbook you would notice that that has become a common motiffe in some of my art. I don't know why but I just like it. Saki's wings were also very fun, I found a good reference for bird wings that are specifically shaped for high speeds (though I did add some stylistic touches so her one wing that's out wouldn't look like a big blob) since her whole thing is speed. From very early on in the process I knew that I wanted Saki to not look skinny, so I found some refs of female kickboxers for her legs and noticed that while parts of their upper body are maybe a bit toned, it's the legs that have a lot of power. I mainly did this because kicking is a huge part of her fighting style.

Overall, I'm really happy with this drawing, and once Touhou 17's anniversary rolls around I do want to go more in depth on my thoughts in the game, it's themes, and how the animal realm functions as a dark parallel to Gensokyo in many ways. I'll also have to get around to drawing Yachie and Keiki as well (if I still have the time and motivation to do so) since I have some ideas for their designs that I'm very excited to draw (especially Keiki).

[hihhasotherfixations]

John Price headcanons sfw & nsfw P2

Part 1

Here’s some more of my headcanons for this man. They’re a but all over the place, apologies. But enjoy :3

Sfw:

While he himself is not religious, he was brought up in a Christian family.

Speaking of his family, he unfortunately doesn’t have a very big one. He has a father he barely talks to and older sister. His mother passed away from cancer when he was still a lieutenant and because of it, when he got promoted to captain there was no one around - his sister was caught up and stuck with work. It was not a good time for him. Instead of celebrating his accomplishment, he was alone and stricken with memories and grief.

His dad was incredibly strict growing up and Price’s relationship with him is still very strained to this day because of it.

His late mother was very adamant on not swearing and while he tries to uphold that, he’s also been in the military for 19 years. And sometimes (very often) the danger or his men become too much. This has caused him to adopt swearing even though he tries so hard not to. One of his most used swear words however is ‘jesus- fuck’ as it’s become almost a habit to swear with jesus christ, though he always catches himself last moment and tries to divert from swearing with the religious man’s name and says fuck instead.

Price can’t ride a bike. And I don’t mean a motorcycle, he’s fine with those - really good even. But an actual bike? Man can’t do it. Do I say this purely because I find the thought/image of Price on a bicycle cursed? Yes, yes I do.

Price finds it hard to say ‘no’ to the 141 when it comes to small and inconsequential things. Due to this, there was a time where for over a month, the 141 walked into his office, asked him to doodle a cat and then left without a word. And yet he did so every time, confused but content enough whenever they waddled off with their doodle. What he didn’t expect, was to show up on Christmas morning to find a blanket strewn over the couch in the rec room - it’s print being littered with every small cat he had doodled. It is now one of his favourite things.

Not a headcanon but I wanted to let the world know: Price has a tiny birthmark on his nose and it is the most adorable thing in the world. (Thankfully I’m seeing more people bringing attention to it >:3) Because of it, if you repeatedly kiss his nose for that reason? To kiss the birthmark? He’s gonna get really flustered really quickly. Not much will bring this man to a stop mid order-giving, but that would shut him up real quick ;3

He does not like singing but you can often catch him humming when doing something such as cooking or cleaning. He doesn’t really realise he’s doing it so don’t point it out! Otherwise he’s gonna be conscious of it and you won’t hear it for a month or two.

Terrible at golf. Gaz once took him golfing cause he thought that’s something Price enjoyed/was good at. It in fact turned into Price getting frustrated and nearly obliterating the golfbal with how hard he hit it. He gave up after that.

This is more logistics that I keep for myself but Price was in the British army for 4 years before he moved to enlist in the SAS.

Loves, loves, loves playing with your hair if you let him. Sitting/cuddling on the couch? His fingers are touching it in some way. Kissing? His hand is keeping your head near his via the back of your neck and his thumb will be rubbing back and forth over the hair there.

Pretty sure 90% of people share this headcanon but good LORD his sneezes. They are loud and you can hear him from across the field. He then proceeds to shrug it off like they’re nothing.

Man has the sharpest and loudest finger whistle and 100% uses it on his men to get their attention. Both the 141 and the soldiers he reigns over as captain. It’s a noise ingrained into every single person who has served with him and will get them to shoot straight and pay attention instantly.

This is a little more niche. But this man sucks at almost every game except for survival games. FPS? Absolute shit, will get maybe one bullet to hit before dying. Horror? While he doesn’t jump at the jump scares, if he is being chased by a monster or a killer, you can almost guarantee he will die. But survival games?? Give him the forest (kinda) or Subnautica to play and this man will absolutely tear it up. You can leave him for an hour or two and when you come back he’ll have crafted a base and be halfway through the game.

This includes Minecraft. Kinda. Man is an absolute god at building, but do not send him into the mines. You will see a message pop up of him falling into lava or dying by mobs every 5 minutes.

Basically any game where he’s not in constant danger, he’s fine.

Avid peanut butter enjoyer.

If Price were to ever have children, he would try very hard to give them the childhood he never had. He would not deny those kids of anything. They want to go outside in the rain to play in the mud? Alright, let him get the raincoats, he’ll wash the dirty, muddy clothes later (he is 100% out there with his kids, splashing them or letting them push him into puddles).

In the same vein, he would try very hard to separate work and life. Sure he might need to get stern sometimes and tell the rambunctious rascals off, but he tries very hard to do so in his dad voice, not in his captain voice. It would still happen sometimes though and he’d feel absolutely awful. Especially if he makes his kids cry because of it.

One of his favourite songs is Escape by Rupert Holmes (The piña colada song). You can oftentimes hear it and songs like that softly playing in his office while he’s doing paperwork.

Not really a headcanon and don’t ask me why, but this donkey is giving me Price vibes: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJV6o5cB/

While he smokes cigars, he’s not at all a chain smoker. Usually saves them for moments where he feels he earns them (after a mission, completing paperwork he really didn’t want to do etc), high stress, or when he’s really craving one.

In a similar topic, he hates cigarettes. Tried one when he was younger, hated it and instead unfortunately took over the cigar habit from his father (when said man was home). Because of this however, he can’t stand to smoke with Laswell. She tries sometimes - cause while she’s trying to quit, it’s hard - but Price only allows it if she’s upwind from him, blowing her smoke away from him.

He stubs his toe SO often. Don’t get me wrong, when out on the field, every step is calculated and precise and you will never in your life see him slip up. It’s a different matter entirely when he’s on leave or just around base though. His body doesn’t need to be on edge 24/7 anymore. Which means that if you’ve served under him, you’ve heard him curse out a door for daring to stand open in the way it did. When he’s at home with you? Double so. He tends to walk around without shoes at home - logically so. Which means his poor toes meet cupboards, table/chair legs and doors a bit too often. He’ll swear less when at home tho, more… take-a-deep-breath-to-control-the-rage kind of reaction.

For the love of god, call him pretty. It’s just- it does something with him. He’s heard handsome, rugged, manly, weathered, etc. And don’t get me wrong, if you call him any of those? Pride bursts through his chest and he’ll make sure to repay you in kind. But if it’s just you and him on the couch, leaned into each other, the tv softly playing? Just a quiet moment? And you call him pretty? It heals something in him.

Has once overheard soldiers insulting/mocking his facial hair and definitely made them shit themselves when he appeared behind them with his full 6”2 (188cm) buffed up captain stance - arms crossed with the most vicious glare you can even imagine. Also definitely made them run until they dropped and then do it again or gave them toilet duty for a month. It also definitely wasn’t only one time he overheard someone.

He’s an absolute history buff. At one point he seriously considered to become a history teacher but at that point he was too far into his military career. He didn’t feel like he could leave his men. It also felt like he’d have wasted years of his life and going back to school wasn’t really on his ‘want to do’ list at that age. So instead he opted he’d be of better use to the world right where he was.

If you allow him to infodump however? He will absolutely tell you the most random facts. Disturbing ones too. He just wants to tell you cool facts, its a way of showing love :)

Quality time often consists of him sitting beside you while you do whatever. He’s either reading a book or doing a puzzle, if he can he will have one hand on your thigh, absentmindedly rubbing it while his mind is elsewhere (its a bit hard when he does puzzles with one hand, but he makes it work)

In the vein of those puzzles, he absolutely LOVES them. If you come home with a newspaper saying “I got this for you!” and show him the not-yet-made puzzle, he will absolutely fall a little bit more in love with you every time. That’s his form of you coming home with roses for him.

Ridiculously good at crosswords. Very rarely has to look up an answer. He also tends to ask you out loud. Not per se to actually ask you though. It’s more of a way of thinking out loud. “What’s a six letter word for a cloud formation in space? …Nebula, thank you.” And then just moves on without you ever having said a word, not even realising he does it.

He always feels guilty when leaving you for long periods of time due to work. Tries very hard to make up for it, even if you assure him he doesn’t have to.

He does things while on missions that he is not proud of. He does not tell you any of the more inhumane things he’s done because he’s terrified it’ll change your perception of him.

These moments haunt his every moment however. Sleeping and awake. You are his only escape.

He is not proud of a lot of things. But the 141 is one of them.

Kyle is one of the most prominent ones. From when he found him in Piccadilly to the elite soldier he is today, Price is incredibly proud of who he’s become. Though he’s also very worried for the danger he’s put the younger man in by dragging him into this world.

Price also makes sure to look after Ghost. Strangely enough, he feels almost responsible for what happened to Ghost despite him having nothing to do with it. Because of it however, he feels very protective over the man and tries to treat him the best he can.

Soap is someone who he sees a lot of himself in. So he always tries to push the man to be better than he was. Price sees the potential Soap has in furthering his military career and if the moment came to it, he’d recommend the man for a promotion in a heartbeat. Soap is someone he always trusts in.

He has a lot of scars on his body from his years of service. If he feels you run your fingers over the scar and you ask him about them, he’s okay with telling you about how he got it. Even if he spares the details sometimes.

Lastly, if Laswell and her wife ever got a child, Price would 100% be the favourite uncle and regular babysitter whenever he’s off deployment.

That’s it for the regular headcanons again :3 Please respect the banner and onto depravity.

Nsfw:

Whenever he’s making out with you, he LOVES having a hand on your throat. Not to squeeze. Never to squeeze. He does not like the thought of choking you at all, brings bad memories. But he is addicted to the thrum of your heartbeat underneath his fingertips. The submission that comes with it as you let him hold a place so vulnerable while he attacks your lips.

Doesn’t have to be during sex either. You two can be cuddling on the couch and he’ll gently pull you in by your neck or throat and press his lips into yours. Or push you up against the wall by it when you greet him as he comes home. Just let him hold you and move you like that.

Fingerprint bruises. Oh my god he properly leaves them whenever you two are having an especially… passionate night.

Don’t get him wrong though! He’ll kiss the bruises and apologise after, even if seeing them sends a flutter down his spine. Loves walking up to you and slotting his fingers right over the marks, careful and appreciative as his hands fill up the spots.

Man loves biting and nipping any place of you he can reach. Have I mentioned how much he loves leaving his marks on you? Hickeys and imprints of his teeth e v e r y w h e r e. (Won’t go above the collar if you don’t want him to)

Depending on how okay you are with it, he’ll definitely bite hard. He’s holding you in a mating press, kissing you to hell and back and when his hips start to stutter, when that telltale spark begins to come up, he’ll divert to where your neck meets your shoulder and bite while fucking the last few strokes into you, muffling his groans and noises of pleasure into your skin.

He has once broken skin while doing it, he felt absolutely awful after it. Immediately after coming down from his high and realising what he did, he went to go get the med kit from the bathroom. Naked and sweaty, he waddled away and back, concern and guilt as he disinfected the wound and dressed it, pressing a million apologies to you.

While it is rare to get him to actually fully give the reins to you and be submissive, when he does, call him by his honorifics still. Praise him with them. “You’re doing so good for me, captain” , “Are you feeling good, sir?” Whisper things like that in his ear and he’ll be whining and desperate for you like never before.

Man has a raging breeding kink. Will absolutely fill you up as many times if he can. Just the sight of seeing his cum leaking out of you instantly gets him going for a second round. The possessive side of him comes out thanks to the thought of you walking around with a piece of him inside you.

I don’t know if I mentioned it in p1 of this but he’s an absolute aftercare KING. Literally won’t want you to do anything. He’s cleaning you up with a towel first and foremost, gentle and careful - especially if he was a little rougher that day. After that, if you’ll let him, he’ll run a bath or shower for you and gently wash you himself. Kisses, cuddles and clean sheets are all in his service.

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Tall Girl Lovin

Requested: Yes! [Hiya!! Just found your posts and I love them so much👀👀 Could I request a fem tall s/o for the 141 boys + König? S/O being as tall/ taller than them (slightly shorter with König) and giving them so much love. Thank you!]

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Implications of nsfw but mostly just fluffy

A/N: @katdakat , I bestow upon you, tall Reader

Price

Price is probably the least affected by your height. Man deals with giants on a regular basis, his S/O being one doesn’t really mean anything. He does enjoy the perks of it though. Like how when you hug him, his face is directly in your cleavage. 10/10 would recommend other men to get themselves a tall Gf just for that alone. But if that is not enough to convince them then he will list other benefits, such as the wonderful feeling of getting to be the small spoon and the delightful feeling that provides when your partner is taller then you and just encompasses your body, making you feel so safe and warm.

Gaz

Gaz loves your height. Doesn’t matter if you’re an inch taller or almost a foot taller, he’s drooling over you. He’s always had a bit of a size kink when it comes to taller people. And god bless him if you ever wear heels cause he’ll feel like he’s gonna pass out from all the blood rushing to his face and *ahem* other places. So yeah, he’s in love and he thinks you’re a fucking goddess.

Ghost

Ghost loves size differences. Bigger or smaller never mattered to him but each side has their own advantages. For the taller side, there is the fact that he just feels…a bit protected. Safe almost. Especially at night when you curl yourself around him. It’s the only thing that helps him get to sleep anymore. Or when you’re standing behind him and he can see your shadow encompassing his. It’s strangely nice for him.

Soap

This man. THIS MAN. He thinks he’s so funny. He will walk up to you at random times of the day and just heave you into his arms, grinning like a mad man as he just starts running with you through the halls. He loves to prove that no matter how tall you are, he’s still strong as hell and will use that strength to treat you like the Queen that he sees you as. If you protest then he’ll stop but not without being pouty, tugging at your shirt, begging you to bend down so he can at least sucker some more kisses out of you.

Alejandro

He’s not opposed to climbing you like a tree. It’s certainly the first thing that he thinks of when he first meets you, a big grin on his face, already making up his mind that he wants to seduce you. Seduction did make way for more romantic feelings and thoughts of you under him made way for thoughts of holding you close as you stooped down to kiss him. His favorite thing to do is shift your shirt down a bit so he can kiss your cleavage, something he adores doing since he’s at perfect titty height and he knows it.

König

Oh!!!!! König is pleasantly surprised when he meets you. Not many people enter his height range so it’s always nice when he does get to meet someone who is like him. It makes him feel a bit less freakish as well, a feeling that constantly plagued him since he’s almost always the tallest person in the room by a long shot. And he’s even more pleased when you start dating! Not only does it just work well logistically with someone near his own height, but he gets to experience pleasant things like surprise kisses and hair ruffling now. Something not really possible when he’d have to bend over for most everyone else to do so. He loves it. Loves you!!!!