#even if she was with csm where did she end up? did they just have her DNA? so how do all of these different players know about her?

[sugar-grigri]

Pochita, if you can read, why don't you speak ?

Wouldn't it be humane to protect humanity and demonic to protect the underworld? And what if... it was actually the other way around.

The interweaving of questions and answers is exactly what this chapter does.

While Yoru sordidly states that children are nothing more than the property of their parents, the one who can't speak, instead of devouring a human as he did with all those demons, decides to go to the blood drive.

Pochita understood what the sign meant. He knows how to talk. But he'd rather hold up that sign and roar than make any demands.

Worse still, he does not decide to give any orders.

It's not words that symbolise order, it's that raised index finger that already in Roman times expressed command.

In the United States, arms are a constitutional right (as recently reiterated by the Supreme Court, which does not admit of any restrictions), a fundamental freedom but also a means of preserving one's freedom, allowing organised militias to fight and protect the State.

You can see how it's all a construction, the weapons are a technological creation, the State is an administrative and political creation.

And that's where things get interesting. First of all, this chapter is highly symbolic and has a very strong political message (oh my god, political interpretation in a manga, impossible..........)

Yoru has sliced off the index fingers of those who support the right to bear arms in the United States. Or campaign for that freedom. But what Yoru is doing. In fact, it's taking it away from them. How can I shoot without this index finger? You can't do it.

It's by taking weapons away from men that they actually regain their freedom.

But it goes even further than that. Why does Yoru sacrifice these fingers? Because it reinforces the fear of weapons. Let's say I point a gun at you (sorry). You'd be less scared if you were as armed as I am. Especially when you're trained, know how to defend yourself and aren't afraid to shoot.

Yoru makes those who thought they were invincible with weapons vulnerable. She strengthens the Gun Devil's power. She contracts with them through her sacrificed child.

Weapons,

freedom,

deprivation of childhood,

of loved ones,

obsession with a mentor,

To think that a god created them.

Remind you of anyone?

Infanticide is what makes you immortal.

The sacrificed demons become weapons, lost between humanity and the demons. Not being human, nor demon, because they have no parents. Even artificial weapons like Reze and Katana display these characteristics. Isn't loneliness one of the ingredients?

Humanity sacrifices its children. As Fujimoto confirmed, they were prepared to do it for eternal youth.

And now you're going to say to me. NOOOO! Yoru too! Just as Makima wouldn't hesitate to do. The demons are also ready to do it.

Yes, because they are influenced by men.

Yoru speaks, uniting with humanity to say horrible things. Whereas Pochita doesn't speak. Worse still, he has chosen not to speak. Worst of the worst, even worse. He'd rather be a dog than a human. That's his choice.

Pochita fights for those he loves, he doesn't sacrifice them.

The demon of birth, it swallows but can spit out. Suspending existence, giving it new life, denying none of it.

Wasn't Makima devoured by Denji proof of this?

Nayuta is the symbol of this rebirth. A perpetual love that surpasses hate.

Pochita loves demons. He also loves those who mean something to him, like Denji. But he also knows that when we become too human, we can end up sacrificing ourselves out of vanity rather than love.

Pochita has sacrificed himself for love, without expecting anything in return as he waits permanently for Denji's dreams.

He is also Denji's lock, preventing him from fully adapting to men.

That's why killing Black CSM was Denji's wish come true. Because Pochita is preventing Denji from becoming normal.

Because he wants to protect him from humanity. Pochita has never been for humanity.

He is simply the guardian of the underworld, all those demons whose existence he guards, a supreme mother. Humanity must endure in order to continue to be afraid. But if humanity is prepared to overcome the ultimate fear of losing its child, then fear is scorned.

So Pochita tried to wipe out the weapons' existence, to devour them. But they still existed. Why? Because they are already the result of infanticide.

being devoured by the demon of birth, mother of the underworld, actually reinforces their existence.

Being devoured by their mother is the reason for their nature.

Whereas weapons are beings born because their mother has killed them.

Denji is the result of the death of the Supreme Mother.

It's not a weapon.

He's a wall.

Hero of the underworld.

A hero of the underworld who has been fighting from the start for the victory of love, sacrificing himself for those he loves and not sacrificing them. So he asks for blood.

And I'm sorry. If weapons really are born like that, they have to look human, and I think this is the last possessed human.

Someone's been ringing the doorbell.....for 100 chapters… it's time to answer it, isn't it?

[psicheanima]

i admire how much you love and understand Makima, even as someone completely outside of the csm fanbase i can tell you know her character very well! i really look up to you in the sense of being so deeply connected with a character you can draw and talk about them endlessly.

have you always loved her that much? or was it a more gradual thing? and in your opinion do you feel like it’s easier to instantly attach yourself to a character in such a way, or slowly learn to love them as you consume more of the media they’re in?

i hope that isn’t a weird question, i’d just love to hear your thoughts on the process! seeing people so enamored by a single character is really awesome :-)

Oh wow! I’m really honored you can think that way—- especially as someone who hasn’t even read Chainsaw Man? I find that very incredible. Since I most draw her, it’s interesting not only my work could still connect to you, but you can feel my love, as well.. ahh… it’s a good thing to be known for your love, and it makes my heart really warm. That’s how I want to be seen, so thank you.

I always liked Makima. However, I had other Chainsaw Man characters I was more entertained by (since I read as it released, being amused was the most important thing) But I started to love her when the control Devil arc released and we learned her true motivations. She became my favorite Chainsaw Man character. During that year gap after part 1 ended, my love for her grew, and she became one of my favorite characters of all time.

Because, it’s not just about the antagonist Fujimoto wrote. Her fan content frequently had Catholic imagery, and she was a mother. These are two “themes” that are INTENSLEY attractive to me, even back then (it’s increased since 2020!) and are tropes I push onto characters who don’t even fit it, so having it just there for me was incredibly fun. It felt like she was just for me! I didn’t really think too deeply about her past until the last chapter dropped. And then there was nothing. So I was alone with that.

I found myself really loving her in a way that I had only loved one character before (Kaworu Nagisa, and I’m sure the similarities don’t need to be explained in depth) They’re both characters who love humanity. I love humanity. I love people, and it’s tender. So being able to explore this in a character added to it. Then, as I grew up a bit more, I started exploring womanhood through her character. It was cathartic and also interesting for me, because it did not only aid me, but also helped re-contextualize everything about her, and I saw her in a new lens once again, where there were so many parts of her that I hadn’t even peaked in on.

There was a specific art I saw in about 2021 of Makima with her hair down, on her bed. She looks very lonely. It’s a set, and the other drawing is her greeting her dogs at the front of her apartment— night time. It’s really that artwork that dictated who Makima was to me. She was the type of woman who went home to an empty apartment that she paid for. As Part 2 grew separated from what I liked about the series, and as the anime brought in fans who saw her as a sexual object, and her status as a popular “dommy mommy” character cemented, I found myself attaching to her even more, because in a sea of people who didn’t seem to get her at all, I was always wanting to defend her concept. Not her personally. But what made her a “character” in the story and why she had to do the thugs she did, and why she wouldn’t act certain ways and such!

It’s easy for m to attach myself to characters, but not in such a way I do with Makima. I don’t buy merch much ever, but I have 2 Makima figures and 3 pieces of clothing with her on it. That’s a lot for me! I wouldn’t do that with any other character in existence. She has a comforting presence, because I feel I truly understand her heart down to the smallest compartment. She feels like a friend! Just seeing her makes me happy. I understand her, so the “love” I have for her is like an old married couple that are best friends in older age. For other characters, it might be something a little more— violent? I get cuteness aggression a lot. When I say I love a character, I may say insane things like “I want to push them down a flight of stairs”— actually, that’s only when they’re male. I tend to like pathetic male characters I want to be a parent for, and I tend to like female characters I’d want to be the friend of, so for those, I’d say something like “my lovely sweetie pie❤️❤️”

but for Makima, it’s obviously not that way. I don’t make too many sarcastic rude comments about Makima the way I would for other characters I like. O don’t want to, because it’s not true, and it almost hurts me to even think about— like, the type of hurt that’s vulgar and disrespectful. I really do just love her. But I don’t see her as a sweetie pie either, haha. I don’t want violence on her but I also don’t want overwhelming love. Because she is a character that is grounded in reality.

I don’t want to be her friend. I think that’s kind of a foolish concept! I can only understand her like I do because we’re separated, and I can view her objectively like a bug. But because she’s been by my side so long, her concept is familiar, and I find comfort in just the idea of her. I’ve written a lot, but it was an interesting question, so I wanted to explain it as best that I could. Thank you very much for asking it!

[limnsaber]

To explain what I was talking about late late last night but ended up talking around: The X Files wonderfully embodies a spectrum of human emotion, but to me, does none so as well as the way it talks about wonder and love.

On the part of love it says: the truths we look for are in other people. The way we love other people is how we win. Not out of fear but out of love and the bonds we have with each other are the most important truth we can hope to know.

On the part of wonder the X Files says: to look into the unknown is so wonderfully human. To gaze at the stars and wonder at what we find there is human nature. To search for truth -- the truths of the universe, of the unknown, the truths between me and you, is wonderfully, essentially human. It's part of our nature to search for these things and Samantha is the heart of this. Aside from Samantha's disappearance being the inciting event of the show, she is the embodiment of this mystery. To wonder at the stars knowing she's up there, to search for the truth and find greater ones in turn -- Samantha is the key to this.

So to kill her off as an aside just to reach 'closure'; to make her nothing more than a victim rather than the person who invites and embodies for both Mulder and Scully the part that's so achingly unknown seemed like a horrible tragedy to me. Where did it go. Was the truth we found human cruelty??? Was that it the whole time????

In s4-s5 and Fight the Future, it seemed that we inched ever nearer to finding Samantha. It was teased that she was alive: that like the truths we hoped to find, she was still out there, waiting. There was a point at which the extraterrestrial mirrored the human. FTF and these middle seasons almost seemed to say: no, there is no fundamental difference between extraterrestrial and human cruelty. The extraterrestrial forces were in conflict just the same way human forces were. Samantha was sent away embodying the hopes of humanity, however horrible that decision was. Of course, we can't ignore that Samantha was a victim, and the later seasons of the X Files lean into this. Abduction is a violent act, and what Scully, Samantha, and the MUFON women went through was horrible. I really would've loved it if they explored this more, but they didn't, and still there's this contrariness to Samantha's abduction.

It's said in FTF that Bill Mulder held two hopes -- that Mulder would uncover the abuse of the Syndicate and reveal the truth, and that Samantha would be allowed the chance to survive and would be able to give that to the world. There were extraterrestrial rebels fighting against colonization and the Syndicate the same way Mulder and Scully do. This contrariness, this uncertainty, is part of the X Files too.

Samantha's abduction always implied that she would be returned. We were teased that she would be found. Over and over, we are told that she is alive, that she is still out there for Mulder to find. Whether she was a human test subject or off in the stars, the truth was living and breathing, waiting to be found.

The X Files says the truth is out there, that looking to the stars is part of the human experience, that our connections to each other are so fundamental to our worldview and that they enable us to endure anything. The X Files is wonder at the heart, the intersection of the unknown and known, and that the truth is each other. Samantha was Scully and Mulder's first step to that truth. Even with everything that they endured, the wonder and love that is the motivating force of everything that we see is inextinguishable. Samantha is the vessel for these beliefs.

Retconning Samantha Mulder from her place embodying the hopes and dreams of humanity, however horribly that came about, to a child that was abused until she died weakens the sentiments at the heart of The X Files.

yk i’m at the point that i literally don’t accept s7e11 “closure” as canon. it makes me ANGRY now because the more i look at all the past seasons and everything they’ve done with the samantha arc and how important it’s been to mulder’s character, it just defaces and denies all of it. it just- it’s not fair. after all mulder has been through to continue to believe that samantha was abducted just for it to be thrown out the window? for him to accept it finally in a way which was supposed to be meaningful and big but altogether uncharacteristic and hollow? it’s like they tried to abide by paper hearts ideologies but through a seemingly unnessary dark meandering of new paranormalities. it also creates so much more inconsistency along with what we started to see from s5 and beyond in the samantha plot, it doesn’t explain it. for instance, in the colony arc, the samantha-looking clones say “how could we know so much about her” and WHO if not samantha is this woman they were modeled after??? did the clones just grow old from the little samantha’s on that bee farm thing so they knew what she’d age like?? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!! IT’S NOT ENOUGH!! CC YOU CANT GET AWAY THAT EASY!!

[randomfoggytiger]

Disproving CSM's Conjecture in En Ami

CSM postulates that Scully and Mulder aren't together because she doesn't fully trust him; that, although she's drawn to powerful men, she is afraid to open herself up to them.

"You'd die for Mulder, but you won't allow yourself to love him."

The problem is, he's wrong.

Because CSM mixed up her fatal flaw with Mulder's.

Self-Denial and Self-Sacrifice

CSM's theory: Scully rules herself by denial, and Mulder offers himself up as the sacrificial lamb. How is he wrong?

Scully's flaw is self-sacrifice, putting everything she covets from life on hold to join Mulder on his quest (comedically summed up in Bad Blood's "I do it all for you, Mulder! All for you!") The Starbuck-Ahab complex she harbored since childhood-- expressing her love through devotion-- kept her in the car the first year; but the Truth soon became as much about her losses as it did Mulder's tragedies. Unlike Mulder, however, Scully strives to have a life uncomplicated by mess and trauma and the constant grind. So, she sits in the car, year after year, waiting for her partner to adapt to their changing dynamic (which he did not do for almost six of those years.) Her own fears and insecurities are placed under the bootheel of the work; but when life becomes too complicated or emotionally clouded, Scully strikes out in confused rebellion (e.g. Never Again, Milagro, and All Things.) Moreover, Scully is the one who sacrificed what she held dear-- stability, a family, something other than 24/7 monsters and conspiracies-- to bear the cross of Mulder's quest, not the other way 'round. (Her realization-- that she does want this life-- and shift does not occur until All Things, a few episodes after En Ami.)

Mulder's fatal flaw is self-denial (and self-punishment): he set aside a normal life out of a determination to find or avenge his sister. If Mulder was self-sacrificial, he would have let Scully walk out of his life a thousand times over and born that heartbreak silently, alone; instead, he stormed out after her and broke down his walls to convince her to stay. Furthermore, his self-denial is ever present even in tender moments, drawing away from emotional vulnerability once danger is past and shying away even faster if Scully draws attention to the present moment. Mulder is the one to deny himself love and a life with Scully (Home, Detour, Dreamland I, Arcadia, etc.), not the one who sacrificed everything he wanted to stay on his quest-- this is what he wants. (The change from obsessive pursuit to measured search begins in The Unnatural, changes wholly in Amor Fati and Millennium, and reaches its conclusion in Closure.)

CSM's Observations

The reality that CSM observed both agents for years and years and came to the exact opposite conclusion is baffling.

He concluded that Mulder sacrificed normalcy for the Almighty Mission, projecting his own Messiah complex onto his 'protege' and patting himself on the back whenever Mulder was, yet again, tossed to the jaws of Death for the "greater good." He also concluded that Scully stayed in the basement because of the raw power she smelled on Mulder, keeping a cold yet lustful distance because she was afraid to risk her womanly love on the all-consuming passion of his might.

How very dime store novel of Old Smokey.

Both assumptions are, of course, very wrong.

Mulder Dreaded "More" While Scully Hoped for It

Scully gave many unsubtle hints through the series that she was ready for more with Mulder: her willingness to go down with him in Tooms, her overt jealousy in Syzygy, her pointed inquiry about his family genetics in Home, her displacement and hurt in The Field Where I Died and Never Again and The End and The Beginning and One Son, her "we just keep driving" in Dreamland I, her unspoken 'secret' that was practically ripped from her chest in Milagro, her flirting in The Unnatural, her IVF request, and on and on.

Scully is by nature reticent with her emotions, fearful to fully open up lest she be hurt or become a burden; but in Mulder's case, she's reiterated over and over (Irresistible and Elegy) that their relationship falls into the latter, not former, category. In Emily she is, once again, "alone"; however, the context to her statement is vitally important. In the hospital, she hoped for Mulder to claim a place by her and her daughter's side as co-parent; but when he uncomfortably withdrew instead, it proved that he still wasn't ready for "more." Scully was alone in places Mulder couldn't fill; and so, she said goodbye to that hope, alone; then to her daughter, alone; and bore the little girl's death, alone. The burden of her fully opened heart was too heavy, she assumed, for Mulder... and in a way, she was right-- not until Fight the Future, when forced to confront "them", did Mulder finally acknowledge it. Until then, sacrificially tucking her heart back inside her chest-- for both their sakes-- was what Scully deemed the best course of action. She sticks around for her own reasons, as she says in Memento Mori; but those don't exclude the hope that Mulder will someday "settle down, live something approaching a normal life." (Her plans change in All Things-- but she's not there, yet.)

All those years, it was Mulder who was more emotionally distant. He was content with his life, happy to spin tires down the tarmac forever with his partner. Mulder was willing to deny himself into eternity if it meant not having to sacrifice an aspect of the life or career he was comfortable with and nervous to change for 'more.' It's why he was so afraid in Fight the Future and so proud of himself in The Unnatural (the warmup), Amor Fati (the big swing), and Millennium (the victorious homerun.) Scully is the only one-in-five billion he has: in the past, he could tease about passing genetic muster, about his boyish agility, about so much more, but to act on it? It took him four years to initiate a hug (post here) and seven years to approach a label of sorts for their relationship. Mulder's an overly cautious man, more pessimistic than optimistic when it comes to people sticking around; and any traditional, long-term relationship he'd witnessed had broken down or was held together by deadened respect and a few bratty kids.

Now it's Season 7, he's learned his lessons, and they're here, together.

Or were, until Scully dipped on a sketchy roadtrip with their enemy.

Conclusion

The most unrealistic part of this episode (amid a host of several others) was that Scully, despite hearing the drivel CSM peddled the entire drive, decided that he had anything worthwhile to say.

Thank you for reading~.

Enjoy!

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[cursingtoji]

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 — 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥!𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚

part 2 of Sweet Sacrifice

summary: Chainsaw man universe where humans can form contracts with devils in exchange of sacrificing something valuable.

cw: chainsaw man spoilers (anime only), self insert into csm canon, reader is in love with Aki, dub-con, heavy oral (f -> m), deep throat. choking, bruises, spit, failed attempt of masturbation, Sukuna has a normal human form (at least for now), reader goes into Sukunas domain, as per the last chapter reader is a virgin 4k words.

note: this was very fun to write, quick info… for reasons of “just cause” himeno is not into aki in this series. also i have plans for the next chapters but feel free to speculate

After the last mission with Aki you felt like everyone at the public safety building looked at you weirdly, like they were trying to understand how a not so skillful hunter finished a strong devil by herself.

Aki thankfully taught you to not share too much about your devils and the contracts, so you knew how to defend yourself if anyone asked you about Sukuna.

“Makima-sama wants to see us” Aki said, joining your walk.

“Great” you mumbled ironically but followed him anyway.

Aki knocked and you heard Makima calling you in.

After a quick greeting she started asking about the report from your previous assignment together. You haven’t read it before Aki submitted it so you allowed him to confirm the information.

“...So you summoned Sukuna with a cursed word and he appeared beside you?” Makima asked you directly.

That was not what happened. Sukuna took your body. Aki would not lie about this, but you know the actual truth is not what he would’ve written as well. Having Sukuna taking control of your body was a huge risk for the public safety, the type of risk that could get you executed like a devil.

“Actually—“ he started.

“I’m not asking you” her eyes did not leave yours.

“No, my contract with Sukuna allows me to use his strength as it was my own, he does not manifest physically as another entity. If Hayakawa wrote that, my apologies, he was hurt and probably confused, I should’ve explained better” you took the fault knowing that Aki did not write what Makima said.

“Very well” she seemed pleased with your answer and you could hear Aki exhaling relieved, “What did Sukuna take?” the question got you in alert mode. That was your superior asking. What should you say? Would she know if you lie?

“Makima-sama, with all due respect, I don’t think she needs to disclose that information” your eyes widened, you never saw him standing up for Makima like that.

“It’s nothing that’s gonna be missed,” you added, not wanting Aki to suffer any consequences.

“Fine, congratulations y/n, thanks to your new contract you have an offer to join the 3rd division.”

“What?” Aki and you said at the same time.

Makima slid an envelope to you.

“They need an answer till the end of the week, you may go now. Hayakawa you stay” you bowed, still a little confused and left the room not without exchanging a look with Aki, “Leave the door open” she ordered.

On your way out you saw a blond kid waiting outside, upon hearing Makima's voice he quickly fixed his posture and entered the room.

You haven’t even taken the offer and Makima was already replacing you as Aki’s partner. Bitch.

You went back to your desk, and found that week’s patrol shift. Today you were by yourself, patrolling a chill area and replying to the radio channel which the local police uses to call for public safety back up.

You sighed, knowing this day was gonna be long and boring. Leaving the building, you decided to walk to your area, using a path Aki and you would always take. Before you got to your destiny, something drew your attention to an alley. It was the middle of the day, you doubted a devil could be there, either way you carefully approached the source of the noise and recognized Aki’s voice.

Hiding behind an irregular wall you listened to the conversation. You couldn’t see them without them seeing you, but it was obvious he was beating the shit out of someone, you assumed it was the skinny boy from before.

“Makima-san is not the kind of woman a punk like you should be chasing” followed by the indistinguishable sound of fist hitting a face.

“Sounds to me you like her too” the boy replied. You felt your heart sinking.

Why was Aki defending Makima? So what if that newbie wanted to be her new dog? To hell both of them…

But why does Aki have to get involved? You wanted him to defend your honor and only you—

What honor?

You heard that familiar and yet strange voice inside your head.

You swallowed your shame and left the alley, wanting to focus on anything but Aki.

It’s not like you could have him anyways.

“You greedy asshole” Denji kicked Aki’s balls once again, “I saw you partner, what else do you want, huh?” he kicked again, “You get to hang out with a hot chick like that everyday and you’re giving me shit for wanting the same with Makima? Fuck you” before he could give another kick he saw Aki wasn’t getting up, “Shit”.

Two days later, when the sun was setting you ran into Aki when you were leaving a house after finishing executing a small devil. He was talking to the cops outside.

“Hey, I beat you on this one” you smiled at him.

“I heard you replying the call on the radio” he defended, “Just wanted to come by in case…”

“In case what? In case I couldn’t handle it? Please, that devil was the size of a pigeon” you made a sign to the cops that it was done.

“So, do you miss me already?” you teased him.

“In comparison to those two I miss you every hour of the day” he threw that statement unbothered, it was enough to make some blood rush to your face.

“That’s right, you have a fiend now as well” you giggled imagining how Aki dealt with the fiend, he confirmed with a grumpy face.

“Have you accepted the offer?” he asked.

“Oh I forgot about it” indeed you haven’t even opened the letter yet, “I’ll take till the end of the week.”

“Why?”

“I’m just not thrilled to work with a bunch of freaks.”

“That's basically what division 4 is now” you laughed and he smiled.

“They are living with me, you know” Aki picked up a cigarette and lit it up, you watched waiting for him to continue, he took a long drag and extended the cigarette to you, “Power, the fiend and Denji, the Chainsaw”.

“Chainsaw huh…” you wondered, “Why though?”

“Makima-sama asked me to” you felt that weird tightening in your stomach again.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I guess I am.”

Since you haven’t given an answer to the offer yet, Makima put you with division 4 on a mission the next day to recover a piece of the gun devil in a hotel. There you got to meet the new members and saw your senpai, Himeno.

“They don’t look so bad” you whispered to Aki, he even got the devils to call him senpai… after a bribe but whatever works.

“Give it some time.”

During that week so far you have been feeling weird, ever since that night with Sukuna actually, if you can even call it that. Every night after a stressful work day you recalled that event, silently expecting him to show up again, but nothing. So you managed to drift your focus to something else, by now that tactic has only made you more and more horny.

“…will give you one as well” your attention was drawn back to the current situation when Himeno said your name and put an arm around your shoulders.

“What?” the team was looking at you weirdly, especially the Chainsaw boy, “I’ll give a what?”

“A kiss to whoever defeats the devil.”

“Not a chance.”

Denji started to talk about how he already decided who he’s gonna kiss.

“…when it comes to sex stuff it feels way better when its with two people who get each other.”

You couldn’t hold back a scoff/laugh, it was automatic given the situation you were in, no one seemed to have noticed your reaction but when your eyes met Aki’s looking at you weirdly you decided to put an end to that subject, Himeno seemed to have convinced Denji anyways.

“Let’s go” you called and all of you entered the building. The rookies leading the way meanwhile the three of you stayed a bit behind.

You let your thoughts wander, thinking about what sex would feel like with Sukuna.

Next time I won’t be so good.

That’s what he said last. You have no idea what he meant by that, or what to expect next, but something made you think you were gonna find it out soon enough.

A couple minutes later chaos seemed to have taken over, power killed an ugly fucking walking head, then you all got stuck inside the 8th floor, Kobeni was crying and trying to drink toilet water, Denji was sleeping like a baby. After looking around you gave up trying to find a way out and simply layed on a bed in an empty room.

“Could’ve been worse” you murmured to yourself. You seem to have all this time and nothing to do.

The bed was pretty comfortable… your core still burned, would it be too bad if…?

You slowly brought your hand down your uniform till your finger found your clit over the material of your trousers.

You sighed, felt good, you needed some release. You closed your eyes, circling that spot and thinking of that night when Sukuna had control, but instead you imagined Aki to be one touching you and—

“AARGH” you screamed louder than you should’ve, a sudden sharp pain in your lower lips had taken you off guard. When you looked down you found Sukuna’s mouth in your palm “Did you fucking bite me?!” you accused. He clearly bit you through the pants.

“When I told you I was gonna be the only one touching I meant it, not even you can touch yourself got it?”

“That’s ridiculous I—“ your left hand seemed to have transformed into his again, bigger with sharp black nails, he went straight for your neck, choking you.

Down the hall you heard Aki calling your name, he probably heard your scream and was now opening every room to find you.

You panicked, not wanting him to find Sukunas hand around your neck.

“Sukuna” you begged.

“That’s not my name.”

“M-master please…”

“Say you won’t do it again” his grip tightened, cutting your breath, Aki’s voice was closer.

“I— won’t— I p-promise” you chocked out.

Right when he let go of you and you gained the control of your hand back again Aki barged in.

“What’s wrong?” he rushed to your side on the bed, putting his hands on your shoulders to take a look at your face while you coughed.

You managed to come out with a lie about having a nap then waking up from a nightmare and choking with nothing. He didn’t seem to believe it but didn’t ask anymore questions thankfully.

“I need smoke” he got up from the bed, “Come” and took your hand making you go with him.

You hated to lie to Aki, it was necessary, but whenever you felt his skin touch yours like that you almost felt like giving up on everything, on Sukuna, on being a hunter…

“Himeno-senpai, do you have any cigarettes left?”

“I want one too” you added

“Sorry, that’s the last one,” she replied.

Both you and Aki asked for it, Himeno gave him first then he gave you. You realized how close you were to each other’s faces when Denji screamed “indirect triple kiss!” you giggled while Aki told him to shut it.

More time had passed, you have no idea what time it is but you really wished you had taken a nap. Now, Himeno, Aki and you were lying on the hall facing the huge disgusting blob the devil had become.

Himeno asked Aki if he had a plan, he always had a plan, but this time the only thing you were certain of was not killing Denji since that’s what the devil wanted.

“I’ll use the sword” your heart skipped a beat, you quickly protested it as well as Himeno.

“I’ll use Sukuna first” you argued.

“Who? What’s that?” Denji asked.

“That’s one of the devils I have a contract with—“ you started to explain but Aki cut you off.

“He’s not gonna be useful here. If that thing doesn’t have any weakness there’s nothing Sukuna can do.”

“Oh and what can your sword do?” his words made your blood boil, was he trying to underestimate your contract with Sukuna? Underestimate you?

“Oi, no fighting” Himeno interrupted, but before you could continue Aki got up, taking you with him by your arm before the devil moved in your direction, then you were running.

Fuck, you needed to do something.

The whole floor starts to bend in the devils direction, you found a stable place in one of the rooms, Kobeni was screaming about throwing Denji to the devil.

“I’ll use the sword” Aki said and you got the cursed word to summon Sukuna on the tip of your tongue.

“I’m not gonna do it” he said from inside your head.

Fucker.

“Himeno” you warned her, Denji was not about to become devil food, but you also didn’t want Aki to lose years of his life by using the sword.

“Die!” Kobeni screamed and ran towards Denji with a knife.

“Enchain” you called.

You lost consciousness for no more than 5 seconds, but when you came back Kobeni was on the floor, a bloodied knife beside her and—

“Aki” you whispered nothing but the pool of blood coming out of him “Sukuna… what the fuck”.

“You called too late little hunter, that was not our deal, you’re gonna pay for it” he replied in that voice only you could hear.

You kneeled beside Aki while he defended Denji and Power tried to manipulate his blood, when she touched him he flinched and reached for the closest thing that happened to be your hand.

Himeno was freaking out, the Kobeni again, until Denji got up.

“If I manage to kill this fucking devil, I still expect to get that kiss” he screamed at Himeno but looked at you too before explaining his plan. That boy was deranged, but you liked him.

So long have passed, Denji was still slicing the eternity devil, Power really seemed to have stopped Aki’s bleeding, you managed to not fall sleep while laying beside him, you wanted to make sure he was still alive, so you keep waking yourself up.

“Hey” he murmured, “you have awful eye bags.”

“I would punch you if you weren’t stabbed” you murmured back. He adjusted himself getting closer to you, he was pale but not as much as when he got hit by the knife, “I’m glad you’re okay” you placed your head on his shoulder.

“Can he hear us talking?” he whispered.

“Who?”

“Sukuna” you looked up.

“I don’t think so” you replied, Sukuna only seemed to be around when you were by yourself or in a stressful situation.

“I saw him” Aki moved some hairs away from your face, “When you said the word, I saw your features change, your eyes got darker, he didn’t do anything, but he smiled when I got stabbed, you smiled…” your eyes widened.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve done something myself” your heart broke, Aki sounded so fragile.

“It’s okay, I’m fine” he placed his arm on your shoulder, resting his cheek on your forehead, “Can you promise me something?”

“Maybe, what?”

“If you don’t feel safe with Sukuna, terminate the contract.”

Safe…

“I’ll think about it.”

Thankfully Denji was right, he managed to defeat the devil by himself, freeing everyone else from the 8th floor. While Power was holding Aki on her back, you approached Denji.

“You must be exhausted,” you murmured.

“It’s not so ba—“ you gave his cheek a peck when he wasn’t looking at you directly.

“Well, you deserved it so…” before you finished he fell backwards, but Himeno got him when he was about to hit the floor.

“Let’s get them to the hospital” Himeno said and you agreed.

With Aki and Denji spending the night in the hospital for observation, you decided to go back home and check on them the next day.

Home seemed to embrace you when you arrived, finally having your own food and a decent shower.

After a long time washing your body and hair you stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around you, but the second your toe touched the ground you heard a voice

“Enchain”.

And everything around you changed like you were transported somewhere else.

“What the…” it seemed like a dark cave, looking down you seemed to be standing on a wet floor, was that blood? It didn’t smell like blood, although the place looked like it was rotting it didn’t smell like anything weird. There were bones around, piles of them, and a huge spine above you.

“Don’t look around without permission” you heard him again, behind you.

“You—“ when you turned around you met his naked chest.

Only then you realized you haven’t seen Sukuna in a human form since your contract, you forgot how tall he was. He was wearing a white robe, tied around his waist, from that point up his torso was exposed, black lines adorning it.

You took a step back, raising your head to look at his face, he had an obnoxious smile and a look of superiority.

“Where the fuck am I?”

“In my domain, basically in my mind” he turned around and sat down on a throne made of bones.

“That explains why this place is so creepy... How do I get out?”

“You can’t until I say so.”

“Suk—“ you rolled your eyes and was about to say his name in a very disrespectful tone until you met his serious face, “What do you want?”

“Do I have to remind you of our deal? You said Enchain, now you gotta pay.”

“You did nothing” you crossed your arms, “I may have said it but you failed to keep your word.”

“Watch your mouth, hunter. Contracts have power, if I hadn’t held my end of the deal I would’ve suffered the consequences, but here we are. If that dumb head of yours wasn’t so busy thinking about getting fucked you would’ve realized that was nothing for me to do in that situation”

You opened your mouth to argue back, but quickly realized you were in no position to do so.

“Whatever, let’s get this over with” with that he pulled the only thing that was covering your body, the white towel, and threw it away.

You attempted to cover yourself, but he pushed your shoulders down until you fell on your knees in front of his throne.

“Sukuna, not here” whatever was under the wet ground was rough on your knees, and the whole setting made you uneasy. All the skulls laying around seemed to be watching you.

“I said I wasn’t going to be good, especially after you misbehaved so badly earlier. Tell me, little hunter, have you used that mouth of yours to something other than pointless arguments?” Sukuna leaned back on the throne, spreading his thick legs and undoing the knot on his robe. The angle you were in gave you a pretty good look on what you were going to be working with.

If there was a source of light behind Sukuna you would have his dick casting a shadow on your entire face.

“Sukuna…” you called his name in scared tone, all your confidence fading out as you noticed from up close the thick veins.

“Do I really have to teach you everything?” he pulled away from the throne backrest getting closer to you, roughly taking your wrist and turning your palm up.

When you met his eyes he had a mischievous look, he snorted leaving you wondering what about your expression he found funny.

Then he spited in your palm and made you wrap it around his length.

You couldn’t help but gasp, such a dirty act and still your thighs were pressed together as hard as you could to get some friction on your core.

You had no idea what the average size was, but Sukuna was definitely above that. Your fingers weren’t even close to touch, how were you supposed to…?

“Come closer” he spread his legs, Sukuna was back to his original position, back against the rest, looking down at you like you were a bug. You noticed the frown was gone, like he was more relaxed.

You obeyed, moving more into the middle of his legs your face now just inches from his dick.

His hand guided yours up, stopping before the head and going back down encouraging you to squeeze his base, his chest was rising faster as you learned the way he liked it. You approached the dark red tip, giving it a kitten lick to test waters, a satisfied groan from the devil made your face heat up.

“Don’t be shy” he placed his hand on the back of your head, pushing you down his hard cock as you put your hands on his thighs for support.

Sukuna pulled you back before he hit the back of your throat, when your lips reached his tip you sucked it and felt his hand closing and pulling your hair.

“Liked the taste?” he teased. You would never admit it out loud… but you did. The bitterness of it and his scent made you high.

Being a virgin you didn’t expect a cock to be so hot. Literally. You felt your cheeks burn just being this close to his hot skin.

Your tongue traced the underside of his length, the warmest point of him. Out of curiosity you reached for his balls too, they ehere even hotter and so heavy.

Sukuna adjusted his hips, tilting it a little but enough to make you gag on it.

“Open wider” his rough hand held your face, index and tumb forcing the sides of your jaw to stretch more. It hurt, you wined, sinking your nails on his thigh, “Relax…”

You’ve read porn before, you know what you’re supposed to do, in theory.

“I need to buy cigarettes, you can wait here” Aki told you when you reached a convenience store.

“I’ll go in with you” you replied, while Aki went to the counter you walked to where the maganize were. You picked the newest edition of a popular one, flipping through it you found an interesting article. It was a reader question for the recurring sexologist. My husband never comes when I suck him off, what should I do to improve my head game?

You brought the magazine closer, not fully reading the answer but just scanning your eyes over the words that stood out the most.

Create a vacuum by pursing your lips… focus on the frenulum… suck the balls… swallow when it reaches the back of your—

“You buying this?” Aki was suddenly beside you, your head was basically inside the magazine, thankfully shielding the content.

“No, there’s nothing good” you closed it quickly and put it back.

You should’ve come back for that.

Taking a deep breath you tried to relax your throat as Sukuna applied pressure to the back of your head, as soon as his thickness reaches the very back of your throat your eyes fill with water.

“That’s it, choke around my cock, little hunter. Allow me to bruise that throat of yours” he thrusted his hips and you realized you have almost no control over it anymore, just to surrender to the situation. A mixture of liquids accumulated on your chin, almost dripping.

Sukuna loved this more than he should, you looked so helpless. But those eyes didn’t deceive him, he could see the lust, the hazy look and your delicate hand under his balls told him the secrets you didn’t.

“You’re such a whore, you know that?” you swallowed, “You know why?” he bent, one hand still on the back of your head and the other around your neck, he pushed you until your lips were amost at his base. All the heavy meat of his cock down your throat.

Your teary eyes tried to look up at him, the hand on your neck closed around it, Sukuna could feel his own shape there. You eyes widened realizing you could barely breath.

“Because good girls don’t take dick like this” he trusted a few more times until you felt it twitch, your hair was aggressively being pulled but the hand around your neck kept you in place while he shot hot loads down your mouth.

“Eat it” he commanded and you obeyed, shutting your eyes and swallowing it, although it was a lot.

Sukuna pulled you away, mesmerized by the string of cum and saliva connecting your mouth to his cock.

You inhaled for the first time since this started but soon began to cough, your jaw ached and your legs were numb beneath you.

“Monster” you managed to murmur in a extremely husky voice.

“Please” he was catching up his own breath, through blurry eyes you could see his abdomen was sweaty, his thigh was trembling. Sukuna bent, supporting his elbows on his knees to get really close to your messed face, his huge hand approached your face and out of reflex you fliched, but with a delicacy you would never expect he removed the strands of your hair that got caugh in your wet face. The sudden act made your face soften, he ran a thumb over your swallowed lips, rubbing the saliva off, he looked at you with a proud smirk. You felt vulnerable at that moment, his eyes didn't seem dangerous, and he was so close you couldn’t help but close your eyes and reach for a kiss.

You found nothing.

Opening your eyes again you saw the tiles of your bathroom, finding yourself naked on the floor. Droplets of your wet hair ran down your back, you took your towel off the floor and wrap it around your shoulders and attempted to get up, groaning from the pain on your knees. The groan scratched your sore throat and you started to cough again, moving to the sink you lowered your head trying to get some water but the image in the mirror scared you. There was a clear imprint of a hand around your neck, you traced it in shock. You thought about what to say tomorrow at work, should you wear a scarf?

But the most important question was: how deeply involved were you with Sukuna now that he had literally marked you?

[mundanneman]

CSM 185 Review

Chainsaw chapter 185 begins with what is possibly the most unbiased presentation of the Aging Devil by Fujimoto. It is nothing more than him voicing his thoughts out loud. We know everything he says is something he is contemplating. The gap between his words when monologuing about not giving the world an exit showcases this.

Furthermore, he nonchalantly mentions how he did not give this world an exit, implying he created this world. The readers of this manga can easily speculate something like that. The terrifying part is how casual he is about this.

The scenery changes in every panel for the reader. It reminds them of how many people have been thrown into this world. It gives weight to Aging's words that follow about nobody succeeding in escaping. The terrified expression of the treed person is possibly one of the more brilliant additions. Even after a thousand or two thousand years, there is no peace for the damned. This world is presented as a place where you can be detached. Yet, there is no rest for the damned.

Based on his words, either he did not create this world with an end goal in mind, or if he did, it never reached that point because people turned into trees. I am not completely on board with the idea that it is just a natural fate but I will not deny that possibility. It could very well be a side effect of Ageing's ability. After all, there have been theories and discussions pretty frequently about how humanity could progress if they were immortal; if they could beat the bane of old age. Who is to say that such a fate will be desirable? After all, the people trapped in this world did reach an answer. The answer they chose presumably allowed them to get as close to stopping their suffering as much as possible.

When the devil talks about the what-if, the speech bubble comes from the old age face which has closed its eyes. When it talks about what it wants, it comes from the youthful and blind face. In my opinion, its eyes are closed because it has turned its eyes away from the possibility of the potentially bleak realities that it faces. On the other hand, the energetic youth is too blinded by its desires.  The fact that ageing does not have an attachment to life comes into play here. At the same time, it makes his motives. 

To showcase its resolve, the cost dialogue is written in a close-up manner with a bigger font size. 

When we finally see ageing, almost poetically, it's looking down on what has grown old, remaining in shadows as light falls on the old man. Ageing's light falls on its back while its front is covered in shadows, showcasing his current state and desires and the gap between them. His emotional state is visible through the distorted speech bubbles. Ageing is unmoved. It cannot sympathise or empathise. 

Similar to a few chapters ago, it continues to look down on the youth it claims to support.

Surprisingly, Ageing conveniently does not mention a thing about the person who supposedly escaped.  This is just my headcanon but it could relate to the Fakesaw Man.

We finally get to see Asa make a weapon without an ability; without help from Yoru. She is holding it together through sheer will. Her distorted speech bubble indicates she is not calm. But, she got the job done. Nobody predicted Denji would eat someone who has already given up on their life. He takes advantage of the mechanism of this world in a manner that you would expect from a foolhardy youth.

Pochita saved Denji from his heart disease and saved him from dying to the zombie devil; he took over when he could no longer go on. However, what saved him this time was Denji. The current actions of this duo are separated. One acts as Denji and one as Chainsaw Man. This reminds me of a partnership as compared to the past when Denji was trying to become the Chainsaw Man.

Interestingly, even though Denji only transforms into Black Chainsaw Man when he can no longer go on, this time, even though he is back on his feet, Pochita remains in his Black Saw form. The engine roars and he gets back up, but the one who makes his engine roar is Denji, as he gets ready for a fight with the primal fear.

[agent-troi]

great points on Diana. I can't quite figure out what I think about her narrative yet. I didn't like when she first appeared because she came across and part of a suspicious character, and her appeal was very unappealing. When Gibson is ready to disclose who Mulder is thinking about, oh boy does she want to know to stop up the pot. She's aggressive but in a frozen manner. What I mean by that is her facial expressions seem frozen, her voice is almost stilted, and her eyes lack the dance that we see in Scully' and Mulder's. I also don't know what to think about her because she didn't get a real conclusion. We are told that she is killed, but was she? Maybe she is just reassigned to do something else. I wanted to see the closure or some actual redemption of her alliance with CSM.

With that being said, when do you think Mulder figured out that Diana was lying to him and couldn't be trusted? Was it the night that he went to her apartment or when he was in his mind-reading, psychosis state? AND, do you think that during the Diana period, after work or on the weekends, Mulder and Diana had some flings or some sort of relationship?

Did Mulder choose Scully or did he get Scully by default because Diana was removed from the equation?

diana was soooo underutilized. i had vaguely heard of her before i reached her part of the story and i was expecting this big, huge, MSR-shattering deal, and then she was hardly ever on screen. i get that the actress wasn't available very often, but then don't try to make a love triangle if she's only going to be in five episodes and the rest of the time it's like she doesn't even exist.

frozen is a perfect word to describe her. she's just so insincere so much of the time. everything is a performance, tailored specifically to get mulder on her side. she's basically a more subtle version of phoebe imo; manipulative, but in a way that can slide under the radar if you're not looking for it (which mulder isn't; he wants to believe she wants the best for him).

i'm so annoyed that she was killed off-screen lmao. this show brought back jeffrey spender after we saw him get shot, brought back csm after he was literally blown up in a fiery explosion, but we don't even see diana die and she never comes back?? i'm suspicious...

(btw if you're looking for fics where she wasn't actually killed in amor fati, Gaslight by @sisterspooky1013 and Pause by @cecilysass are two of the best imo, and if you're looking for a redemption story/something that actually fleshes out her character a bit more, I recommend The Whole Truth by @admiralty-xfd and The Only Answer by me lmao)

as for when mulder finally figured out he couldn't trust her, he absolutely knew it when she went to see him in the hospital and he could read her mind. there's no way he doesn't know at that point. when he went to her apartment, he was at the very least open to the possibility that she had betrayed him. he wouldn't have gone in the first place if he really thought there couldn't be anything to it. but then csm shows up and somehow that doesn't raise a big red flag so i don't think he really got it then. it's not clear at the end of one son if mulder and the others believe that diana was among those killed at the air force base, and since she never appears or is mentioned between one son and biogenesis, we don't know at what point mulder finds out she somehow survived. depending on the circumstances of his finding out, it might have raised suspicions in his mind, which were then confirmed by the mind-reading.

my answer to the question of whether mulder and diana had any flings during this period is abso-fucking-lutely not, and not just because i personally can't stand the idea. the only time i can really see it happening is when she first shows up in the season 5 finale, but there's just no time for anything like that to happen during that episode. beyond that point, mulder starts off season 6 annoyed at diana for taking over the x-files behind his back, but then scully pulls the rug out from under him at the opr hearing after he pretty much made a fool of himself declaring confidently that she was about to prove the virus was alien, so he takes diana's side in that episode out of sheer petulance. after that he's too busy chasing "vicious, long-clawed spacelings" to be bothered to have any flings, but then at the end of the episode, scully finally comes through with evidence of alien dna in the human genome. it's too late to take back the way he embarrassed himself at the opr hearing, but it begins to put them back on the same page. and then during the period when they're off the x-files, mulder's digging through the trash in their old office to find x-files for him and scully to investigate instead of just asking diana to sneak some files out of the office for him, which i can't imagine him not doing if they're having any kind of relationship. also he’s clearly never been to diana’s apartment before one son.

this whole season is about mulder and scully dancing around the idea of being together, which is something mulder wants but is afraid to express directly, not knowing that's precisely what scully needs to hear. i just can't see him choosing to be with diana except maybe for when he's still disoriented by her sudden reappearance, and there wasn't room in the timeline of the episode for that to happen.

@randomfoggytiger broke down the progression of mulder and scully's relationship during season 6 very well, and i have nothing to add except that yes, mulder chose scully, this whole season is about mulder choosing scully, learning to appreciate her and to express that appreciation the way she wants him to. diana really is irrelevant in the end.

[leiascully]

“I wish you would write a fic where…” — Scully is pregnant with (or has already had) baby 2, and Diana is somehow not dead & she comes back into the XF…. Set in either IWTB era (Mulder’s depression) or post s11 (the fall out of CSM and Jackson etc)

1/2

Here you go!

Scully’s in the office looking at pictures of baby Joy on her phone when she hears the knock. It takes her a moment to look up. Joy’s only been in daycare a few weeks, and the only person who ever knocks is Skinner. Instead, when she looks up, there’s a tall woman with an elegant grey chignon and a chic suit with a visitor’s pass clipped to the lapel. Scully’s breath catches in her throat. But it’s not Teena Mulder - it doesn’t even really look like her. There’s just something about the aura she brings that carries that same scent of graceful suffering, like a vintage perfume that’s spoiled somehow.

“Diana,” she says evenly. “Or is it Agent Fowley?”

“Hello, Agent Scully.” Diana gestures to a chair. “May I sit?”

“Be my guest.” Scully sets her phone on the desk, face up. Diana would know she’s recording their conversation. They’ve both learned to keep track of the evidence.

Diana glances at her screen. “She’s a lovely child.”

“Thank you,” Scully says without flinching. “She’s our little miracle.”

“Yes,” Diana says, “somehow they do find their way to you, these miracles. But I suppose you deserve them, after all you’ve endured.”

“Is it Agent Fowley?” Scully presses.

Diana demurs, sweeping away the idea with one hand before it returns to clasp around her crossed knees. “Fox might have returned from the grave to his former employment, but I had no wish to rejoin the FBI’s ranks.”

Scully smiles faintly. “That was a long time ago.”

“Another lifetime,” Diana says. There’s a glint in her eyes, a tension around her lips. Scully doesn’t respond to the jab.

“How can I help you, Diana?” She picks up a pen. “Assistant Director Skinner assured me they’ve upgraded the fire mitigation system, by the way.”

Diana doesn’t react. She seems to be thinking. “I suppose I came to talk to you,” she says at last.

“To me?” Scully tilts her head. “I’m not sure exactly what you think we have to say to each other.” She stares at Diana for a long moment, sifting through the memories. It’s been so long. Another lifetime indeed.

She remembers her last encounter with Diana, the oblique contact, the fear, the rage, the genuine sorrow. “I do owe you a thank you. You’re the one who left the envelope with information about where they’d taken Mulder.”

Diana stirs, as if she’s come back from the depths of her own mind. “Whatever you think of me, Agent Scully, I never wanted either one of you to die.”

Scully smiles, just a little. “Likewise.”

“I believed in the mission,” Diana tells her. “I believed it would save us all. I knew I was working for men in over their heads, but I didn’t see another way.”

“I know,” Scully says, and she does. She does, now that the world didn’t end. Now that the black oil has receded and the shapeshifters have vanished, now that the supersoldier project has been decomissioned, she understands the things Diana did, and why. She will never understand the rest, but she has that.

“I’m sorry for my part in what they did to you. But I wouldn’t change the choices I made.” Diana nods toward Scully’s phone. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you got your miracle.”

“Thank you,” Scully says, and she means it.

They gaze at each other, blue eyes and brown. At last they have taken the true measure of each other, and neither is found wanting. The betrayals of their younger years are old scars now. There isn’t any pain there. It almost doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong. They moved through different worlds. Of course their paths diverged. Scully, who has loved Mulder and lost him and fought her way back to him a hundred times, understands the urge to reach for him.

Beyond this moment, she knows they will never see eye to eye. She knows Diana knows it too. This is the peace soldiers only find in the middle of the battlefield, when the war is over.

“Thank you,” says Diana.

“For what?” Scully is startled.

“For standing up to the Syndicate, at great personal cost. If their mission was just, their methods were not. Spender’s least of all.”

“Jeffrey came back, you know,” Scully says.

“Yes. He always had too strong a sense of justice to stomach the work.” Diana leans forward just a little. “Thank you for taking care of him.” She doesn’t mean Jeffrey Spender.

“You’re welcome.” Scully’s voice is steady, somehow.

“I can’t say I was deceived,” Diana tells her. “I went into the work with my eyes open. But the world shifted. The plans changed. Whether I couldn’t keep up or I didn’t want to is irrelevant. I wasn’t given the choice.”

“You were a pawn to them,” Scully says.

Diana inclines her head with a economy of motion Scully can’t help but admire. It’s neither agreement nor disagreement, just an acknowledgment of Scully’s own truths. “Well. I’m not any longer.”

“Good,” Scully says.

Diana uncrosses her legs and stands up. “There’s no need to tell Fox I was here.”

“I assumed you came to see him.”

Diana tilts her head and smiles. “No, Agent Scully. My unfinished business was with you.”

They don’t shake hands. Scully watches Diana leave. She taps her phone to stop the recording and then cups her chin in her hand, staring into space. She wonders if Diana will be on the security footage. She wonders if anything has gone missing in the last hour or two. Maybe respect can look like paranoia. Maybe the past can’t be entirely overwritten, but the book can be closed. Maybe this is what peace feels like when a ghost is laid to rest.

Mulder comes in half an hour later and finds her still thinking. He sets a coffee down on the desk in front of her.

“Missing our pride and Joy?” he asks.

“Hmm?” Scully says. “Of course.” She comes back to herself and shuffles the papers on her desk.

“What were you up to all morning?” he asks, settling into a chair with the lazy grace he’s never lost.

“Oh, talking with an old friend,” she says, and it hews close enough to the truth.

[deathsbestgirl]

txf mytharc: pilot

preface: what you can expect from this series of mine.

i’m likely going to talk about each mytharc episode in full (at least nearly). the point of this isn’t to focus on mulder and scully, but there will still be a lot about them. we mostly see the mytharc through their eyes, and their partnership & experiences are a major part of that (and i think at this point, it’s clear i never shut up about them!). so for those that don’t really care about the mytharc, you might still find things to enjoy. at the end of each post, i’ll do a little summary of episode connections. i’m doing this as i rewatch so i will not have watched the future episodes yet – so please forgive any mistakes in details! i’m also pairing this with reading myth x: one fan’s interpretation of the the x files mytharc, and i’ll include some pieces that helped me unravel certain things, or that i’m simply keeping in mind as i rewatch! but mostly, this is just me enjoying the show. it’s what i think about when i watch. if it’s not your cup of tea, i completely understand. i do welcome discussion, but i make no promises to engage. i’m just sharing my little thoughts on this show that i really, really love.

something i get caught up in every time i watch the pilot is what csm & the syndicate were thinking (specifically in regards to assigning scully to the x files with mulder — i will probably talk about this over & over).

in the pilot we don’t even know about the syndicate. we meet section chief blevins, and other men with no names. including csm, who doesn’t even speak. he stands there looking stressed and smoking, observing scully and listening intently to the whole exchange. at the beginning, it’s hard to imagine how deep this goes, how widespread the government conspiracy is and it’s what makes it so fun for me to go back. we have so much more information later on, and we can take it back when we rewatch. there are so many connections to be made and although a lot of it doesn’t line up perfectly, i think it’s way more in line than people say. for me, there are several reasons that fit in with the world of the x files. first, there are so many unreliable narrators, people dealing in lies and coverups, only letting mulder & scully and whomever see what they want them to see. they purposely feed certain beliefs, and stifle them at other times. csm’s goals are muddled: he wants mulder on his side, he’s trying to save the human race/shape it into his own creation. he pretends to be a chess master, but as he says in sixth extinction/amor fati: he is one man.

the pilot starts with a cold open, a young woman running through the woods in her pajamas. we see a male figure and a bright white light. next thing, the young woman is lying dead on the forest floor as a team documents the scene and tries to identify her. detective miles identifies here as karen swanson and walks away, as the other investigator shouts “it’s happening again, isn’t it?”

next we follow special agent dana scully into the hoover building and to blevins office. he peppers her with questions about her fbi experience, if she’s heard of fox mulder and the x files. she’s young and open and maybe a little too honest. every time i try to write about the pilot something i always end up writing: scully understood what these men wanted her to. i don’t think it’s what csm wanted, but it might be what the syndicate wanted. scully was expected to debunk the x files, and if she did, they would probably reward her with whatever promotion or job she wanted within the fbi (or better, recruit her to the syndicate?). but as will consistently happen, they underestimated her. i’m not sure any of these men could have predicted what her & mulder would come to mean to each other. i don't think they could grasp her honesty or goodness, her ethics & morals, her complex beliefs & sense of justice. they live in a world where everyone is selfish & cruel, where they do what is “necessary” or what they're ordered to, where people will always choose themselves above others, but that is not scully. and it isn’t mulder.

(aside that maybe isn’t necessarily relevant but the thought always pops into my mind: it’s very interesting to me that they have this meeting with her and just send her down to mulder’s office. there’s no meeting with mulder, scully and their superiors together. all of it strikes me as a punishment for mulder, and a test for scully. i really think there’s something of interest to them in scully’s background. scientist, medical doctor, navy captain’s daughter, semi practicing/lapsed catholic. in theory, she could have been a perfect fit for the syndicate. but i really think most of them lack an understanding of people, of humanity. they deal in the worst of humanity – and mulder & scully are the best of humanity.)

initially when i started this (my little notebook) i was going to focus on just csm. but lately, the mytharc has gripped me. i don’t typically rewatch those episodes, unless i’m watching the entire series or a season in full. or a specific arc (like the cancer arc of course). but i’ve been slowly watching the mytharc episodes and they all connect, intricately, weaving a complicated web of truths & untruths & half truths. it’s so detailed and convoluted and maybe confusing. and so i wanted to go piece by piece. as i’ve said before, i don’t think everything lines up perfectly, and it isn’t supposed to. this is a global conspiracy, we learn things as mulder & scully do. they are largely on the outside of it, trying to break in to expose the truth & hopefully dismantle it. they are continuously misled, misdirected, stonewalled. there are many different projects with experimental science developing different defenses/giruses/andmtidotes, with different goals. evidence destroyed or stolen, tampered with. they are manipulated and used and discarded and returned and nearly killed as the syndicate sees fit at the current time. but so many things connect back to the pilot. the writers may not have had a show bible, but they most certainly looked back to pick up different threads and carry them through.

after scully’s meeting, we follow her down into mulder’s basement office. scully knocks on the door, opens it when he responds and takes in the whole atmosphere. he jumps right into it, letting scully know he’s aware of what her assignment is, that he looked into her background, and starting in on the case. in mulder’s way, he starts testing scully too, and i think she passes every single one. even if she’s saying things he doesn’t really want to hear. at the least, she takes him seriously (enough) to give rebuttals and show she cares. i’m not sure mulder has ever distrusted a single soul, but at least scully earns it.

the few things we learn about the case, what makes it an x file: the marks on the girl’s back, the compound in the surrounding tissue, no clear cause of death. and the fact that there’s a string of these killings in bellefleur, oregon with similarities to other cases in shamrock, texas and sturgis, south dakota.

mulder poses two questions, the first:

maybe what you can explain to me is why it’s bureau policy to label these cases “unexplained phenomenon” and ignore them.

scully has no answer, but i do think this starts her mind rolling. right here she’s put on the path of radicalization, in her scully way. the second:

when convention and science offer us no answer, might we not finally turn to the fantastic as a plausibility?

and i think this moment sets up their roles. scully responds with “the girl obviously died of something. if it was natural causes, it’s plausible that there was something missed in the post-mortem. if she was murdered, it’s plausible there was a sloppy investigation. what i find fantastic is any notion that there are answers beyond the realm of science. the answers are there. you just have to know where to look.” mulder, the believer, turning to the fantastic. scully, the skeptic, turning to science. this is my favorite thing about them, it builds the way they communicate and is a huge part of building trust between them. it’s also a major part in how they get to know each other. it’s always been one of my favorite things about them. it’s built on listening, not just pushing their beliefs or agenda. they always incorporate what the other says – as in, scully tends to shape the science & investigation around his theories. it gives her a place to start and build from. and scully’s science refines mulder’s theories and gets them closer to the truth.

it very quickly becomes one of the ways they depend on each other, setting up expectations they don’t yet understand the implications of and will take them years to rewrite (still built on the trust blooming from this first scene).

as soon as they’re in oregon, even still on the plane, the weirdness starts. unexpected turbulence, radio interference, inhuman like corpse unburied, the metal implant in the nasal cavity. mulder isn’t surprised by the turbulence or radio static, he marks the spot with an x. scully is just confused and baffled by his behavior (i love it). during the autopsy, they’re a little combative. my favorite moment is when mulder tells her:

i’m not crazy, scully. i have the same doubts you do.

this is an important moment for scully. he cares what she thinks, and she does take him seriously. i think it’s easy to think that she doesn’t, she does dismiss his ideas initially. but she’s still following him, peppering him with questions. they talk it through every time, and that’s special. it only gets stronger.

when mulder lifts peggy o’dell’s shirt to find the marks on her back, scully is so angry (she’s afraid) and she storms out of the building – mulder immediately follows her. she doesn’t believe these are alien abductions, she doesn’t know yet what the marks are, what the experience is. she has questions and she wants answers, she wants the truth. scully doesn’t believe his theory of alien abductions, and he asks her “do you have a better explanation?” and this is the first time he directly asks what she thinks. to me, this is the scene that really determines their dynamic. what mulder takes from this conversation is scully really does want the truth, she cares. and that’s important. and scully asks: “what were they doing in the forest?” cut to mulder and scully in the forest, scully pocketing dirt, detective miles coming upon them. (he listened to her, and the next step in their investigation becomes trying to answer that question!)

in the car, she shows mulder the dirt. he asks if it’s a campfire (it does look a lot like ash). but scully tells him it was all over the ground. right after, the car loses power and they lose nine minutes. scully doesn’t witness the time change but mulder is ecstatic.

this all leads to the motel room scene. scully has marks on her back and she can’t see them and the marks on peggy o’dell scared her. you could see it in her face, even through her anger & annoyance with mulder. the fact that she goes running to mulder, clearly afraid and vulnerable…it showed something else to mulder. this moment lets him see beyond ‘scully’s a spy” and her disbelief/skepticism. mulder cares about people, and he cares about scully despite himself. so when she turns into his chest, he puts his arm on her shoulder. shocked at her vulnerability, the way she seeks comfort from him. mulder lets her stay in his room, gives her a blanket to curl up on his bed as he sits below her and tells her about samantha.

usually this scene is discussed because of the intimacy between mulder & scully, but we learn a lot about the mytharc here too. samantha “disappeared from her bed one night” and there was no evidence, no contact, and no one would talk about it. he went to oxford, got recruited by the bureau. (while they’re having this conversation, someone is lurking outside the motel room.) he finds the x files and he was allowed to indulge because of his success and connections. mulder tells scully:

i’m telling you this, scully, because you need to know, because of what you’ve seen. in my research, i’ve worked very closely with a man named dr. heitz werber and he’s taken me through deep regression hypnosis. i’ve been able to go into my own repressed memories to the night my sister disappeared. i can recall a bright light outside and a presence in the room. i was paralyzed, unable to respond to my sister’s calls for help…listen to me, scully, this thing exists…the government knows about it, and i gotta know what they’re protecting. nothing else matters to me, and this is as close as i’ve ever gotten to it.

he covers sam’s abduction, how he found the x files, why he’s allowed to work on them, and the first inkling (for the audience) of a government conspiracy.

this is when mulder gets the call about peggy o’dell. (scully’s jump at the phone ringing is striking. she was so focused on mulder and what he was telling her, everything else faded away.) they go to the scene and mulder is shocked to hear peggy was running – “on foot?” just really cracks me up. as he’s focused on talking to the man driving, scully is taking a look at peggy’s body and makes note of the time on her watch, which is stopped. but just then, mulder learns ray soames’ corpse is missing. when they get back to the motel, it’s on fire with scully’s laptop, pictures and evidence inside.

theresa nemman approaches them in the chaos, they take her to a diner to hear what she has to say. she talks about finding herself in the woods, not knowing how she got there. she tells them she has the marks on her back too. she’s afraid she’s going to die too. her nose starts to bleed, like peggy’s did earlier, and as scully jumps up to grab napkins for her, theresa’s father, dr. nemman shows up with detective miles to take her home. this is when they realize det. miles’ is billy’s father.

mulder & scully have a brief conversation, brimming with their frustrations of losing their files & evidence, being denied access to a girl who needs help and wanted to talk, realizing how much these men are concealing. scully’s putting together dr. nemman’s & det. miles’ involvement. “they know” vs “they know something” – leading to mulder’s ultimate question (at this moment lol) of what’s in the other graves. when they go to check, the graves have already been dug up. the only other bodies already taken. at the graves, mulder puts together that billy miles is responsible. scully starts to follow his thoughts. he talks about time being stopped, he pauses “you think i’m crazy” and scully…she’s silent for a moment before telling him about peggy o’dell’s watch. another huge moment to me. she doesn’t believe it’s alien abduction, but she starts to understand the way mulder’s mind works, the connections he makes and the subsequent leaps. she doesn't keep this information from him despite it feeding a theory she doesn't agree with.

they head over to see billy miles. mulder talks to the nurse and scully starts to examine billy, finding his feet dirty, covered in the same dirt she found in the forest. a boy, who has been in a coma for years, completely bedridden and seemingly unaware of what’s happening around him. and scully is ready to run with this. he was out in the woods!!! and another important moment, mulder grounds her. reminds her of what she needs to do, her reports, procedure. and i think this is the moment that cements their roles – but shows they can also switch as need arises. mulder didn't understand how much he needed the science & evidence until he had someone ready to find it. so they go back out to the woods to get another sample of the dirt. that’s when they hear theresa scream and they go running. det. miles hits scully over the head and goes running after mulder, holding him at gunpoint as theresa continues to scream. and i love this moment too, because mulder appeals to this man’s better nature, urging him not to let billy kill another person. mulder stops him from shooting his son too. we see the marks on billy’s back, as a white light starts to overtake the scene with leaves blowing like a cyclone around billy & theresa. when the light finally fades, billy is conscious again, theresa is safe and the marks are gone from billy’s back. instantaneously.

the ending scenes are billy under hypnotic regression with dr. werber. mulder in the room with them. scully, blevins, the other man from scully’s meeting, and csm observing. billy talks about the aliens, the tests, the implant. the tests didn’t work, and the aliens were destroying the evidence. killing the abductees…mulder and scully make eye contact through the glass. cut to scully reporting to blevins. she can’t substantiate anything, they have no evidence, how do you prosecute?? this is what blevins & company care about. but scully held onto one piece of evidence: the implant, made of a metal that could not be identified, the implant billy miles claimed was controlling him. she leaves it with blevins, and when she exits, she watches csm enter blevins’ office. she has no idea who this man is, but he has been present at crucial moments and she took notice. she doesn’t understand yet but she won’t forget him.

in the end, mulder calls scully late at night to tell her the case file on billy miles has disappeared. csm is walking into the pentagon storage facility, filing away the metal implant with others just like it.

the pilot really lays a lot of groundwork. the implants, the marks/scars. the abduction experience, time loss, electronic interference, hypnotic regression. deformed corpses. government connections. disappearing evidence, constant interference. samantha’s abduction.

episode connections (before i watch future episodes):

conduit: small detail, but the ash-like dirt reminds me of the sand & glass at lake okobogee.

duane barry: he has an implant in his nasal cavity, much like the one they find. later on, in the anasazi trilogy, we learn scully has a chip in her neck which later connects her to other female abductees and carries through to cassandra in patient x/the red and the black.

cancer arc: billy miles indicates the exact place scully gets cancer.

reduxes: blevins is exposed as the mole. for the first part of the first season, scully reports to him until the x files is reassigned to skinner’s jurisdiction. his involvement isn’t fully explored, but he doesn’t completely disappear.

deadalive: ray soames’ transformation – possibly a failed attempt of what happens to billy miles & others, and nearly happens to mulder. also similar to the bodies mulder finds in anasazi.

csm: he’s there for scully’s meeting with blevins, he is there at the end for billy miles’ hypnotic regression. he is the most prominent figure in the conspiracy, as far as what we see, with a direct hand in scully’s & mulder’s experiences.

samantha’s abduction: there are two different versions of her abduction. truthfully, i think they just changed the story to work better for them. BUT (as i’ve mentioned before) i think it fits well into the mytharc later on – within the framework of the show, i think it’s possible samantha was abducted twice. conduit, paper hearts, demons, and another episode.

myth x:

one thing i really do like about this book is that it breaks down all the players. each group of aliens are given a clear name (which appear in the show but was never completely clear to me until this time around). michelle bush purports that the aliens abducting the oregon teens are walk-ins, representing the divine. they’re supposedly good but don’t know how to go about their goals. in some ways, this rings true. it’s the walk-ins that “save” samantha from more suffering. it’s like the walk-ins cassandra spender believes are trying to help them. bush describes their goal as “reintegration of both halves of the whole (alien and human) using natural means; this results in a single sentience allowing a return to physical and spiritual harmony.” which on paper, doesn’t sound bad. but their methods are as harmful as any of the others (alien and human alike).

[bibibbon]

Do you think bnha treats the male victims of abuse narritavely worse than the female victims? (sorry if this sounds like I'm pitting them against each other or invalidating the female abuse victims in the story)

I've been reading your metas on how Horikoshi mistreats Deku in the narrative by sweeping Bakugo's bullying under the rug and meta posts by other fans dissatisfied with the way Dabi and the Todofam abuse as a whole was handled and I started recalling discussions on twitter how Denji from Chainsaw Man is a male victim of abuse, whose abuse is taken seriously by the manga and the mangaka, but not by most fans.

No absolutely not. I think MHA treats both of it's male and female abuse victims horribly. I have never viewed it to be something about gender it's just that horikoshi doesn't know how to handle abuse victims character whether thd abuser be a character he likes or hates.

Now I guess I can kind of see where this idea is coming from because the series itself shows us more abused male victims than female ones so there's definitely something there but even the female victims like toga, Rei himura or Eri aren't treated any better.

I remember getting ask that literally made me have a morbid realisation and it stated that Dabi ended up just like how Rei was in the beginning of the series. Also Rei never actually gets to escape her abuser either. She is still stuck as enjis caretaker and that's honestly tragic.

Toga's abuse is actually given the attention it deserves so she is probably the only character whose done a bit of justice in that area.

Eri still ends up getting hurt and used whether she is with the heroes or overhaul. The girl literally mutilated herself to make herself useful for her quirk to be used and you get the jist of it. This isn't a good look at all especially if you look at her history.

Now there are a lot male victims who have been abused like izuku, Dabi, shoto, hawks etc. Now these characters have much more screentime than the female characters but never actually get that part of their character focus on or they don't even bring it up so this just ends up making their characters feel so one dimensional and makes them badly written.

I honestly recommend you read @sapphic-agent post on bakugo and izukus relationship or her other posts about bakugo in general which are great in my opinion.

When it comes to chainsaw man fujimoto consistently recognises the abuse that denji goes through and (even though I haven't read csm) makes it clear that this isn't normal. It's usually the male audience that end up brushing denjis abuse or trauma to the side for example I have seen multiple posts talking about how what himeno did to denji wasnt a big deal or how makima never groomed denji.

Denji's character somewhat reminds me of hector from castlevania and how some fans would say that Lenore and Camilla did nothing wrong or that they never exploited/abused him.

[earphonejackx]

Could you possibly write some soft hcs for Power from csm in a relationship? (gn or fem reader preferred)

AN: AAA I’m so happy I got another request! I’m currently writing for some other requests so here we go!

✦ Soft!Power x f!reader

✦ WARNING- Blood sucking, mentioning of blood

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Starting off strong when you and power started officially dating she was so happy, she most likely acted like she wasn’t at first but her heart was practically beating out of her chest!

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Power most definitely needs reassurance by you, she may not admit it but your validation makes her pride go through the roof

୨・┈﹕✦﹕MAKE.HER.FOOD. That’s all imma say. If your a good cook please please PLEASE use that to your advantage and cook her something, she might even have you and aki to do a collab and cook for her

୨・┈﹕✦﹕When Power introduces you to Denji she’s alll over the damn place, she bragges about how she got a girlfriend before Denji did, and the teasing never stops. You and Denji do get along tho!

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Please touch her! She likes physical touch and it makes her feel good. Don’t get too touchy tho… she might just suck your blood. “I didn’t do it, you got to close to me! It’s your fault!”

୨・┈﹕✦﹕She likes it when you play with meowy, she’ll get slightly jelly yelling up and down how meowy is a traitor. she thinks you’re cute but she doesn’t know how to express it well…

୨・┈﹕✦﹕She likes cuddling you at night. She likes nuzzling into your chest. She’s def the small spoon.

୨・┈﹕✦﹕If you work with her she’ll try to beg makima to switch her division to yours or switch yours to hers. She wants you to be with her! Fight along side her!

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Headpads. That’s all I’m gonna say.

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Likes play fighting, that’s just her nature. If you don’t like that she likes degrading you and that brings her pride through the roof (again)

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Hates when you aren’t with her. She’ll get all grumpy and rowdy . “Where’s [name]? where tf are they?!?”

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Park dates are a MUST. You and her will have the time of your lives!!

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Playing pranks on Aki is an everyday thing for you Denji and Power. When you started dating Power she startes convincing you to join them but if you actually have a brain, then you wouldn’t because Aki ends up beating there asses after that (not literally but mentally)

୨・┈﹕✦﹕Power definitely likes you to bathe with her, she’ll splash you but! You’ll have fun trust

[conostra]

Chainsaw Man, or: The Myth of Third-Party Consent

This is gonna be more a stream of consciousness than a properly-written piece btw. Love me some CSM and had some thoughts on the recent chapters

It finally happened! Denji got molested. Unfortunately, this is probably the absolute worst way bro could've got his first nut off. After a series of literal months of his life being sexually harassed, assaulted, manipulated by older women in his life, and then ultimately coming to the conclusion that his dick, as the embodiment of his sexuality, was his ultimate demon, and that the stick gotta go. Maybe the balls too. They make the testosterone, so they gotta be the problem, right? And Yoru offers to assist him, by cutting his dick off in the back alley between some nearby buildings. They go back there, he changes his mind, they argue over it for a bit, and then she forces her hands into his pants- Yoru, not Asa, forces herself into his pants. One tally on the "ummm, I don't think this is appropriate" score.

Tally two comes after she grabs his penis, and this is where the weirdness comes into play. She remembers as she grabs his dick that this is not, in fact, the first time that these two have "gotten intimate". The first time was Asa and him at his apartment, at her behest- before she was turned into a dog by Nayuta, and had her memories wiped. She remembers that they kissed, and leans in to kiss him again. Denji's face screams confusion, but ultimately, he accepts, leaning in to kiss as well after her second go at him. And she begins to jerk him off, to completion, and he finishes in her hands.

So, here we are. Denji finally got his nut off! But instead of celebrating, he slumps to the ground in the alley as Yoru cleans off her hands in a puddle. Her immediate first response is, at first calm, then panicked, to cut Denji off when he asks why they kissed to tell him that she only kissed him because it felt good. And absolutely no other reason. At all. And that she harbors no feelings for him. At all. In any way at all. In any way shape or form. And in fact, that any and all feelings that she felt or has only came from the "other her", Asa.

Way to clear things up, Yoru.

Asa bitch smacks the absolute fuck out of Yoru on her way out the alley, hurting both of themselves, punching and beating on herself even after she gets her body back, crying into the wall that she did, in fact, like Denji, and now he's just gonna think she's some slut cause she literally gave it up to him in a back alley.

And on the train, they both look like they've gone through shell-shock, and to varying degrees, they both have.

Asa was forced to become a rapist. Despite Yoru being the one to "act", it was her body, her hands, her feelings that were Yoru's own one and the same. She, to some degree in her own mind, bears enough of the responsibility here to feel shame on herself, not just if at all for what she did for Denji, but the age-old shame that all women, but especially women Asa's age are forced to bear for being at all sexual with another person, especially another young man like Denji. She's soiled herself, in her eyes, and Denji wouldn't want her. She holds no value to herself, as much as she thinks she holds to Denji.

There's a mix of other feelings in there, of course. Potentially, there is jealousy that Yoru was the one who used her body for the "real" kiss from Denji, that she was robbed of the opportunity to actually get to perform the acts of both love and intimacy that her body was puppeteered for. There is also more than just a small chance that Asa is too caught up in these mixed feelings in the moment to understand that what just happened to her AND Denji was nothing short of sexual assault by Yoru.

And this is almost definitely what happened to Denji. When he has been manipulated like this for the entirety of his life at this point, with no real autonomy or ownership over himself, starting as a young boy and ending with the collapse of Makima's reign over his life, Denji is almost used to these feelings. But when this... "thing"... happens with Yasa, this on-and-off relationship the two of them have shared over the past few months, his immediate concern is the one thing he's truly focused on when it came down to it for his relationships- Does Yasa really feel a way about him? Or did she, just like those before, simply use him?

First the mafia. They owned his body as a tool to pay off his father's debt. Then, Makima, and Himeno, and Reze, Power, and even Nayuta. Himeno used him to try to get off, then vomited in his mouth, then utilized him to try to get what she wanted from Aki. Sure, she became a friend, but only after nearly forcing herself onto the conflicted and young boy.

Reze, who claimed to have fallen in love with him, and wished to run away. Who helped teach Denji to do math, and read, and to play and think for himself, before ultimately revealing that the love had been staged, and that she was a powerful devil sent to either kidnap or execute him. She kills some of his friends, allies, whatever- and still, he wishes to run away with her. He hopes that, perhaps, although staged, the flower of love had still actually bloomed, and could grow even further were it planted somewhere else. And Reze, in fact, reveals that it could have blossomed even more beautifully- before being cut down at the stem by Makima.

Power is Denji's first real experience with the female body. And it's... not at all what Denji had it cracked up to be. First time bro copped a feel on a pair of titties, and not only were they padded, but he still didn't enjoy it nearly as much as he imagined he would. In fact, this was enough to get him to re-think his goals, and what it was he wanted out of life. It got him to almost remember...

And then Makima got her hooks back in him. She ruined not just his relationships with women, but people in general. Got him to kill Aki. Got him to kill Power. Got him to forget his initial dream, his dream to just find a girl to hang out with and play video games with, a girl to just fall asleep with in his arms. She might, in fact, be one of the primary reasons that his perversion went beyond just standard perversion. By making herself the object of his desire, she could shape his activity, shape the very desire itself. And she did- he needed a mother, and she gave him the idea of that and a lover in one, the shelter he needed through the girl he could fall asleep with. She made herself his goal, and dangled it, constantly. Every woman now compares to Makima, and now with every woman Denji must go through the same hoops.

One of those hoops being: "Do you really love me?" Not only if they truly love him, but if they love him. That they aren't still just there for chainsaw man. That they aren't still just there for his body, aren't there on some secret agenda, that they're there for him. And Asa? Denji enjoyed his time. And perhaps, Denji thought that Asa was there for him, even if she flip-flopped so hard. Even through her emotional issues and diabolical amounts of autism, she was fun to be around, and enjoyed the time she spent with him for him.

And here, stripped to his barest, literally slumped to the ground in an alleyway after being sexually taken advantage of more directly than any other time in his life, is the first girl who's really, truly, unabashedly brought enjoyment to his life in a way that Nayuta simply couldn't, there is- nothing. There is just the idea that, once again, Denji has been used and cast aside.

He's still reckoning with all that. The aspersion of his autonomy is already ingrained into who he is. There is no need for Denji to reconcile with being taken advantage of in the alley, because in order to do that, Denji must reconcile with his entire life. And I'm not even sure if Denji has the mental faculties to reconcile with the idea that this is an issue he has to deal with. Not even taking into account that one of his immediate stress responses is still, after all this time, putting his finger in his mouth, and thinking of Makima.

[b0oker18]

Some thoughts on Claudia Grays ‘The X files: Perihelion’

**Spoilers ahead**

First off I need to say that I am a certified, card carrying disliker of The X Files Revival, so some of my thoughts on this book may have some negative bias. Canon for me either ends at season 8 or IWTB (depending on the day lol) so I'm just here for the ride and I'm not going to take anything in this novel or in future novels too seriously!

Secondly, I am not a writer. Some of my thoughts may be incoherent and I apologize for that up front, but I feel the need to write down my thoughts so they do not constantly overwhelm my brain….

Hope you enjoy!! 

Likes: 

Claudia Gray overall does a good job with writing Mulder and Scully, you can tell she loved these characters as much as we do. It was easy for me to hear their voices in my head while reading.

I thought the novel flowed quite nicely. Oftentimes it went from a chapter mostly about the casefile, then to MSR, then to a chapter about the new villain (Brighteyes or Robin Vane), etc. It kept me wanting more, mostly for the MSR but a little for the casefile as well.

I really liked some of the MSR in this novel. Gray did the absolute best job she could do given the shit show she inherited from CC. I tip my cap to her!

My favorite MSR scene in particular was at the end of the book in chapter 39. To keep it brief Mulder and scully talk about WIlliam as THEIR SON once again, and how even though he may not be theirs via natural conception, he is still THEIR SON…. See CC it really isn't that hard is it? The Convo is played as Scully apologizing to Mulder for not wanting to talk about William, but in reality it's an apology to Mulder AND herself for her treatment of William. I mean this is a convo that they should have had years ago, but better late than never I suppose…. I’ll say again Cladia Grey was giving a bag of shit but she made some decent stew out of it.

I actually liked Robin Vane as a “Baddie” although I don't think he is a bad guy. He's morally gray and I will get to take in some of my predictions.

I kinda liked how CSM came back. It's different and unexpected, but I’d rather we no longer hear from him ever again.

Dislikes:

X men plot line, I hate it…. I don't really have anything else to say on this.

Scully's electrical powers. Thats gonna be a no for me dawg

The inheritors, their evil plot for world domination makes no sense. I mean do they even want world domination? I found it all so confusing… So they know that this alien virus is making people into literal X Men yet their plan is, “Hey, they are just going to bend to our will and… make us money or something”... maybe I'm missing something, but this plot felt intentionally vague in order to set up future novels. We will see I guess. 

I really hated the “explanation” for Scully's pregnancy. Why does everything need to be Spooky Science ™ …. I guess I wanted this pregnancy to be Mulder and Scully's proof of a higher power, something that can not be explained by science. That to me is FAR more interesting than spooky science ™ ….

I don't want this to sound like a nitpick but I guess it kinda is. I don't like Mulder and Scully living in a townhouse. I like the unremarkable house, it suits them way better. Oh well…

Why for the love of God are they sleeping in separate beds, they do everything a couple is supposed to do yet they can't share a bed? I mean I guess this was done to create a little bit of tension to keep the reader turning the pages, and it worked on me but still, I think at this point we should drop the relationship drama and move on to something else.

Some predictions:

Mulder and Scully will form an uneasy alliance with Robin Vane and Cherish Craddock. This will drive a bit of a wedge between Mulder and Scully, but like everything they will see it through.

The X Men plot line will be resolved at the end of the next novel.

Mulder and Scully's child will be named Rebecca. I don't remember where I read this but apparently Cludia Gray used to write XF fanfic and she wrote a piece in which Mulder and Scullys child was named Rebecca (Pretty name btw.. I like it.)

The child will NOT have supernatural powers (Im probably wrong on this one)

William AND Gibson will show up at some point and help save the day. William will become, at least in part, part of Mulder and Scullys lives. 

Skinner will play a pivotal role in the next novel, but he will die at some point… When the stakes are this high someones gotta die. Sorry Skin man… 

Final Thoughts:

I've read a few reviews on various websites about this novel and to be honest they are done much better than what I have written down, but I felt compelled to write down my unedited thoughts so I can move on with my life XD.

Overall, I came in expecting I would stop reading a few chapters in but I didn't! I read the whole thing in about 5 sittings. Claudia Gray did the best she could with what she had and I have to give her props! I think this novel is pretty fun! A solid 7/10…  Like I said in the beginning, I don't see this or any other future novel as “canon” so I'm just here for the ride, and I think it's going to be an interesting one!

[randomfoggytiger]

Collector's Edition: Samantha Mulder's (Many) Returns

In honor of anon's request: "I was wondering if you had any fic recommendations in which Mulder found Samantha? I'm having a hard time with closure ahah."

(Here are some previous Samantha fic lists:

Meet the Mulders    

Redux II Samantha Was Real

Little Samantha’s Life in Capture

A Tribute to Samantha's 50th Anniversary)

Loose chronological order below~

CANON-DIVERGENT

Pequod's Way Beyond Blue

He summoned up all the courage he'd ever had, or ever needed and walked into his future.

Pre-Sein und Zeit Mulder has a prophetic dream.

eponine119's

Odyssey

"I'm supposed to believe you did him a *favor* when you killed a little girl and - what, paid some workmen - to plant her scoured bones in that basement?" demanded Scully.

Pre-Sein und Zeit Scully is commanded by CSM not to tell Mulder that Samantha is dead.

Searching in Vain

Fingers moving through disturbed earth over bone. He couldn't look and yet he had to. The right size. The right injuries. Including that final, horrible one.

AU-- Mulder is suppressing the true nature of Samantha's twisted death.

Glimpse

The hours dissolved as he sat entranced, watching himself on videotape in situations where he knew he'd never been. A wedding. To Scully, a beautiful bride. Surprisingly, the tears didn't come when he saw Samantha on the tape, alive and grown and lovely. The tears came when he saw the children on video.

AU-- Mulder is shot into a horrific alternate universe where he gained (and lost) a happy ending.

@agent-troi's This Heart That I Misplaced

She looked just like the others… but something was missing. Something essential had been taken from her, and somehow that convinced him beyond any last shred of doubt that this was in fact his Samantha.

AU-- Pre-Closure nurse died saving Samantha's life; and her sacrifice kicks off the finale of Mulder's journey.

Justin Glasser's (xphilefic) Orrery

I don't remember a lot about where I was before I was here. I remember someplace else. There was water there, and I wasn't too warm all the time. And I remember that I miss it, but I don't know why. Here is okay, when there are no tests. Jeffrey lets me pet his dog.

AU-- Post Closure Mulder's happy ending is torn from him after Harold's son is found alive.

amorfati3215's The 5 Ads for If Samantha Was Found Alive

“My name is Claire,” she replies softly. “But I used to be called Samantha.”

AU-- Closure Scully tracks down the nurse who rescued and raised Samantha.

@all-these-ghosts's (Ao3) happily ever after

“She was married for a few years, but her husband passed away. Georgie and Lauren moved back in with me after. Lauren was just a baby when it happened.”

AU-- Closure Mulder and Samantha reunite.

DaynaFox's The Return of Samantha Mulder

“Are you another cop?” she asked him. “Did you find my Mom and Dad yet? They only went next store, to visit the Galbrands. Did you ask the Galbrands where they went?”

Samantha, the Galbrands have both been dead for over 15 years… Mulder thought as he gazed at her. 

AU-- Post Closure Mulder is given a call from the authorities: his sister is not dead; and has been returned, not a day older, with no memory of her disappearance.

AU

@ghostbustermelanieking/skuls's

AU: The Mulders adopted Samantha instead of her being abducted.

Later on, he’s kind of glad he’s an only child.

What it says on the tin.

november 27, 1973

Her mother cries, pulls her into her lap and holds her tightly, says, “My baby, my baby,” over and over again. Samantha asks for cookies, and her mother takes her to the kitchen and pours her a glass of milk and stacks three cookies in front of her even though the rule is no more than 2 and not after bedtime. It’s past her bedtime, but she eats them anyway, has never remembered being this hungry.

Different endings to Samantha's abduction.

california winter

Fox gulped. He wanted to change his mind in that moment, but he heard Samantha and Jeffrey crying in the closet and he couldn't say a word. He had to be the brave big brother. He had to protect him.

Mulder and Samantha are both taken; and devise a plan of escape with little Jeffrey in tow.

X-Files Fictober: woman, socks, locker. setting: abandoned storage unit.

He turns and sees the girl, much younger than her with dark hair curling down her back, dressed in the same hospital gown as her. No shoes, just socks.

One Breath Scully escapes with Samantha.

Half-Light Universe

You have another chance to figure out what happened to Samantha. She may not be dead. All of it… you get another chance.

He wonders if it’s worth it.

Revival Mulder and Scully are shot back to those nine minutes they lost in the Pilot, with a chance to make everything-- or more things-- right.

@pilotinthestars's the holding-her-breath girl (Ao3)

It hit him then. She’d never been to this house, the one Teena had bought after the divorce in Connecticut.

Samantha is gone; Samantha is returned; and Samantha might not stay.

Erin M. Blair's

Turning Nine

"It's not your fault, Fox."

Samantha is returned from her abduction; and refuses to tell anyone except Mulder about her experiences.

Newfound Love

"I know," said Samantha as she took the photo from Scully. "I want to find him...."

Mulder, not Samantha, was abducted; and she and Scully (with the help of Deep Throat) help rescue him years later.

Discovery Of Samantha

"You look as though you had seen a ghost," Jennifer remarked, with a wry sense of humor.

Mulder and Scully are happily married (despite Diana's machinations); and find out one of their friends is Samantha.

@discordantwords's (Ao3) Lethe

She cannot remember the song, cannot remember her mother's name. But she remembers the sound of laughter, the red polka dots on her dress, bare toes in thick pile carpet.

Pre-One Breath Scully finds Samantha on the train car.

@i-gaze-at-scully's AU where the Samantha clone was actually the real Samatha

Mulder doesn’t attend the funeral. Can’t face his parents, can’t face the finality of two decades’ worth of his quest finally ending. Can’t face the 28 year old cold body of his 8 year old sister.

End Game Samantha wasn't a clone.

Mystic's

Misnomer

She watched them run test on her blood and her skin, they were exited by everything about her. She didn't understand.

X tells Mulder where to find Samantha... but, as always, nothing is ever clean-cut.

Secrets in the Forest

"Scully there's something you have to know about Kinnear. The night's are cold. I don't mean Washington D.C. cold, I mean cold." Samantha said accenting that last 'cold'.

Mulder and Scully inadvertently find Samantha while investigating a UFO case.

JLB's Lost and Found

"The test results determined that there is a match," she says quietly. "This is Samantha."

DNA confirms that one of Roche's victims was Samantha; and Scully tries to keep Mulder from falling completely apart.

@officialmulder/specialagentpao's broken hearts, paper hearts

It was going to be a snowy day. Mulder smiled to himself. Samantha liked snowy days. It was an excuse to stay in bed and drink hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows. They were allowed to do it once or twice a year.

Roche did kill Samantha; and Tena Mulder blames her son.

@slippinmickeys's

AU where Roche DID kill Samantha (Ao3)

In a photo in the lower right-hand corner, Samantha was posing with a brand new bike, dressed in a floral nightgown, the tree behind her covered in garish amounts of tinsel.

Post Memento Mori Mulder finds evidence that the last girl was Samantha, after all.

Livia Balaban's

180-Word Self-Imposed Challenge: Samantha's Fate - Version Four

And now a new lie. That she is my sister. I look into her unblinking Hazel gaze, and shake my head. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Redux II Samantha appears, again; but Mulder doesn't believe she's his sister.

Cunegund's Restoration I & II

Nine-year-old Samantha sits with us, another addition to our new family, and Krycek seems impossibly pleased with himself as he eats his own omelet with his right hand while he stirs his coffee with his left.

Post Requiem Mulder returns-- via the efforts of Krycek, TLG, and even Morris Fletcher-- with the abductees and his still young sister... right in time for his growing family to go into hiding.

Susanne Barringer's Thicker than Blood

Mulder stepped into the kitchen and immediately Samantha dropped Scully's hand. She shifted her position to put some distance between them, and her face turned hard.

Post Redux II Samantha appears again... and not for benevolent purposes.

Amy's Where Are You, China Blue?

"You're not listening."

"Yes, I am."

"Then stop it, Daddy. Just hear me out. I don't care anymore."

Post Redux II Samantha is sick and tired of CSM's games.

@writingwell/RocketMan's (xanadu) A Jerry Maguire Ending

"Why are you still here, Mulder? Your life long quest has ended. Samantha is back, and you know the reasons behind it, if not the purpose. What keeps you here?"

Post Redux II Samantha is incensed that her brother doesn't want to quit the files.

Susan Proto's

Familiar Faces

There was no doubt in his mind it was Samantha.

Or a clone.

Post Fight the Future Mulder and Scully see a Samantha lookalike; and Scully decides to do some investigating.

Miracles

"Fox, you're wrong. He can help your partner," Christeena attempted to convince. "He cured me, and he can cure Dana. Fox, I swear. I swear on your sister's life."

Scully is pregnant and in a coma, Maggie doesn't consider Mulder 'family', and Tena has known all along her daughter is still alive.

Jennifer Maurer's Perfect Gifts

"Yes. I have Agent Mulder's sister Samantha."

Scully makes a Christmas monkey paw deal for Samantha's return.

Lauren's (MC) The Return

The side profile of the child looked vaguely familiar. Mulder squinted his eyes to look closer. He suddenly felt the strength drain from his body as recognition registered for a brief minute.

Samantha is briefly returned; and CSM tries to use that to his advantage, luring Mulder into a death trap.

Sarah Ellen Parsons's 180-Word Self-Imposed Challenge: Samantha's Fate - Version One

I look at them suspended in greenish liquid - my children.

Samantha is a co-conspirator in the clone project.

Mish's Contact

His eyes swim with unshed tears but his words are steady. "I had the Gunmen search for her. Actually, she seems to be leading a pretty normal, happy life." His lips curve in a watery smile.

Post The Unnatural Mulder brings Scully to watch a little league baseball game; and has one more surprise in store for her.

@cecilysass's The Boy on the Beach (Ao3)

He recounted it like it was an exciting action tale, like it was a comic book, and Samantha just stared at him, gimlet-eyed. Maybe it was right to trust him to handle his own sister. Then again, he had a well-documented tendency to make reckless moves, even when he was in his thirties.

Post Amor Fati Scully is whisked back in time, resigning herself to being trapped in the past forever if she can save Samantha from being abducted.

@o6666666's (Ao3) What's your headcanon for if Samantha was found?

“I’m fine,” Scully calls to her, eyes still beating down on Pfaster. “I’m fine, Samantha!” But she is shaking from head to toe, teeth chattering as if her apartment’s cold. 

Scully, Mulder, and Samantha adjust to the latter's return, riding the ups and downs of Season 7 together.

 finisterre's The Tunnel at the End of the Light

It's her, the woman from the video, peering out of the door. I can only see the right half of her face in the murk of the room. I relax a little; this has to be the right place.

Samantha and her two sons escape, looking for Mulder's help-- not knowing he'd recently been abducted.

Gillian Leigh's (MC) Visitor in the Desert (MC)

"Samantha?" The woman stared at him without recognition for a moment, and then her own hazel eyes widened behind the simple frames of her glasses.

Season 9 Mulder is visited by his daughter from the future-- who helps him prevent William's adoption and reunites him with his sister (and Scully's brothers) in an underground colony.

Donna's After the Future

The atmosphere was nothing like when he had been a child. He could remember hiding in the loft with Samantha watching their parents fight or their father conspire against humankind.

Part II to a Colonization timeline, Scully barters for Samatha's life so Mulder (and their biological and adopted children) can be at peace.

@mldrgrl's Some Other Me

There’s a Fox Mulder whose sister wasn’t taken from him by aliens.  Instead, she died in a drowning accident at their summer home when she was four.

A series of AUs for Mulder, Scully, and Samantha.

@wexleresque/hellsteeth's the holidays linger like bad perfume (Ao3)

“I grew up here, my parents both still live here, but they’re separated. My sister…isn’t well. They share the responsibility of caring for her, and as they’ve gotten older, I’ve been trying to come back more often and help out.”

Mulder and Scully briefly meet on the Vineyard, and swap some intriguing family history.

Leni's Partnership

It had taken a year of partnership to learn about Mulder's little sister. 

Mulder is an author, penning out the stories he'd told his late sister growing up.

@swinging-stars-from-satellites's no but the concept of Samantha Mulder being returned to the world at 14

she wants to know her own history and what Changed Her and it worries her, gets her deep enough into her head — Mulders, conscious of it or not, have depressive, obsessive tendencies — that she finally tries regression hypnotherapy....

Samantha, amnesic and happily adopted, works tirelessly to learn about her old life.

Keri Gontarek's Reunited II

"Yes. And she's fine. A little weak--apparently, Krycek was pumping her full of morphine and other drugs, but she's recovering."

Scully is an FBI Director when Mulder rejoins her life. In part one, it's revealed they have a son. In part two, they find and rescue Samantha.

Taverl's Notes II

But he took it even worse than I had imagined, shutting himself off from anyone and everyone. Especially me. After seventeen years of friendship and almost eleven of marriage, I know Mulder too well not to realize that he never held me responsible for the fact that he didn't find Samantha until it was too late. It was his own innate and well-honed sense of guilt that made him hurl accusations at me; that made him blame me for not finding her it time to save her. That didn't make it hurt any less, though.

Mulder's marriage falls apart after finding his dead sister; and Scully (and Skinner) finds him, half dead, in the tub.

@dreamingofscully's Surely, to the sea (Ao3)

She sighed, then stepped forward and took one of his hands. “Years ago. Samantha.”

Mulder’s eyes dropped to the floor and his hand went limp in hers. Silence draped over them as he processed her words. She knew what he was thinking, because the same ideas flitted around her own mind. 

Samantha's mysterious illness is mentioned as part of a larger casefile (featuring married paranormal investigators Mulder and Scully.)

Medusa's Sandcastles

"Samantha?"

She smiled at him. The most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, bar one.

Mulder wakes from a coma, having dreamt the X-files as an entire, false life.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[deathbxnny]

Hi there! So remember the Memory Devil idea i showed you two days ago (i think?), what if CSM character (Aki, Himeko, and Denji) have a s/o who made a contract with the Memory Devil.

More context on the reader:

In exchange for the ability to force anyone to relive their darkest and worstest memory the target have, the reader had to give up their own memory. So everyday they wake up, they will forget what they did before waking up and until the end of the day, they will still have memory what they did that day but then forget about it the next day (I hope that make sense). Because of this, the reader made a note with the general information about themselves and what they are supposed to do today and a diary to write down what they did at the end of the day.

Ever since the reader made a contract with the Memory Devil, they become forgetful about minor things (like when to eat or where they put their jacket) and a bit airheaded. Because of this, they assigned someone to be their partner to help them as even though with the traits i just mentioned, they are still a massive powerhouse (they can fight due to body memory). And that someone are the characters i requested.

So what does their partner/lover think about the Memory Devil they have a contract with?

How does the characters feel that despite forgetting about them everyday, the reader would always fall in love with them again whenever they see their partner/lover?

Im excited to see on how you will make this request, please remember to take care of yourself and have a good day/night!

- Flower Anon 🌸

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A/N: So I'm going to assume that you meant "Himeno" and not "Himeko" in your ask, so I hope I got it right lol. Also thank you for the request and I hope you'll like this! The idea is definitely very interesting!<33

Content: Established relationship, memory loss, light angst, fluff, hurt/comfort elements, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Himeno

Himeno always just assumed that you were a natural airhead, when she first met you. She didn't mind your forgetfulness however and was willing to keep reminding you of things, if needed be. Everyone had their quirks after all and Himeno saw no point in judging you for it.

With that said, she found the way you fought very impressive, considering how bad your memory always was. After finding out about the devil contract you were in, things began making more sense, but she still didn't judge you for it. Not that she was in a real position for it anyways.

When she's in a relationship with you, she takes on your bad memory with a playful demeanor. Knowing that you'll always love her, even beyond your constant memory loss, just spurs her on to make every day memorable, despite the fact that you'll forget about it the next anyways. But that's alright, she'll write it all down for you to read about later on.

-----♡

》Aki

At first, your forgetfulness was irritating to him. He had to slow down, take things easy, wait for you to follow along. It was annoying... until it wasn't. Until he began enjoying the calmness, that your memory loss brought with it. Aki sometimes wonders, if that's what made him fall for you.

He always reminded you to write important things down, always looking over your shoulder to make sure you were writing it down right. Things you couldn't remember, he certainly memorised. He knew everything about you. Every single detail. If you ever had any questions, then he'll be sure to answer them perfectly.

Aki accepts your devil contract as something you chose to do and doesn't judge you for it. But deep down he wonders if you'll remember him, once he's gone. He hopes you don't, that you just simply move on like nothing happened and don't question the emptiness in your heart. He also hopes that you never notice how he keeps his existence out of your diaries and notes, in hopes of one day just being an unfamiliar shadow to you.

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》Denji

Denji is confused by your forgetfulness at first and often wonders what exactly made you this way. Though ultimately, he just shrugs it off and accepts it, writing it off as you just being an airhead. Your devil contract doesn't even ever come into question either, because hey, who is he to judge? Although it does irk him a little, whenever you forget about him. Which is why he made you write down plenty of notes about him just in case.

Denji just goes with the flow and reminds you of the mundanest things with ease, if he has to. He doesn't really care and might even like that you need him in some aspects. But he's certainly in awe when he sees you fight. He'll be cheering you on, telling you to kick the enemies ass, whilst completely forgetting to fight himself. He'll also point you in the right direction, if you randomly forget where the enemy was.

He'll be really offended the first time you forget him, before he eventually just makes you read through all of your notes every morning, just so that you'll know who your dear boyfriend is. He's flattered that you always fall back in love with him every time though and considers himself quite lucky for it. Even if you won't remember the great days with him, he certainly will for the rest of his life.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was alright! Thank you again for the request, Flower Anon!<33