#even if he TECHNICALLY never did anything
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader Epilogue
"You're getting a vasectomy." Your face screws up in pain, and he sweeps his palm over your damp forehead.
"Okay, mama."
"I'm serious. We're done." Your nurse glances between the two of you with a small smile.
"Alright, are we ready?"
"No," you hiss between clenched teeth, "no, I changed my mind. I want a c-section." You twist his fingers, turning his wrist counter-clockwise, and he bites his tongue. He's never realized how strong your grip is until today.
"You can do it," She encourages and you shake your head, tears on your waterline.
"I c-can't." You groan, turning your face towards his, and he cups your cheek, wiping back and forth.
"You can sweetheart, I know you can. You've been through hell and back, right?" Your lower lip trembles, and then you start shaking, tensing with a contraction.
"Push." She instructs, and even though you're still shaking your head, you listen, curling around your belly as he supports you behind your shoulders. "Good job. Go again."
You do, again and again, and at the top of the hour, when your doctor arrives-
your third child is born.
He's weak at the knees, holding onto the bed as she's put on your chest, screaming and covered in god knows what, but he doesn't think he's seen anything more incredible. More beautiful.
His moon, and another star.
Pyxis. The mariner's compass.
"Hey baby girl," you're crying and he presses his forehead to your temple, watching as you help rub her down, trying to keep himself under control, trying to swallow his tears.
"She's perfect." There's still a lot of people around, the doctor is still between your legs, nurses disconnecting things, reattaching things, doing who knows what, but in this moment, it's only the three of you. "You did amazing, mama."
"So did you," you look up at him, "good job on not fainting." He kisses you, and cups the back of Pyxis' head. The baby has a blanket over her now, cuddled up on your chest, and he strokes her cheek. "Hey Pyx. Happy Birthday." You sniffle.
"Happy birthday baby."
"Finally managed to show up together at the birth of our kid." You joke, sitting up in the hospital bed, opening your mouth, waiting. He picks another piece of sushi up and deposits in on your tongue. You chew thoughtfully. "Though I guess Nix kind of counts, since I was technically present, you know?"
"I don't count it." He places is thumb in the baby's tiny hand, and her little fingers curl around it. "She's so beautiful."
"I know." She makes a scratchy, growling noise and you rock her a little, settling her back into sleep. You peek at him, and open your mouth again. He smiles. He'd feed you every day, if you let him, especially right now since both your hands are full of Pyx. Just the sight of you, sitting in the bed, holding his baby, makes his heart pound, and he can't help himself from leaning over the bed, pulling you and her into his chest without a word. "I love you," you mumble into his shirt, and he closes his eyes. Thanks the universe for that night in the bar. Thanks whoever was responsible for you being there, thanks heaven and hell for giving him you.
For giving him everything.
"I love you too."
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Hey- if you're still taking prompts for ficlet Friday- Bucky and #31- pinky swear.
Oh, this is sweeet! How about more of our drunk!Bucky before that night out?
Pinky Swear
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: Over 800
Warnings: Talk of fear of heights, backstory, slight angst, slight fluff
A/N: Takes place before Pretty Girl.
Bucky deeply inhaled the cool evening air and exhaled slowly. He hadn't moved from his spot on the outdoor sofa since he sat down, but he knew the number of steps it would take to get from his seat to the door. Looking at the rooftop guardrail, he reminded himself it was more than tall and sturdy enough to prevent anyone from falling. He was fine. Everything was fine.
“Bucky!” your pretty voice beckoned to him over the rest of the chatter from the group. “Come look at this view.”
Finding a stable point to look at was always good practice when he was afraid, and who better to look at than you? His pretty girl. You weren't technically his girl, but you were in his heart and you looked extra pretty tonight. He told himself the reason his heart stopped was because of how pretty you looked and not because of how close you were to the guardrail.
And here you wanted him to join you, but his body wouldn't move.
“I’m good right here,” he said, his smile tight. He gripped his beer bottle so tight he almost shattered it.
“You sure?” you smiled over your shoulder.
All he had to do was take a breath, get up, and join you. His head spun at the very thought, and he couldn't do it. He was a fucking coward. “I’m good,” he said again.
There was a frown on your pretty face as you went over to the sofa and sat beside him. “Hey. Are you okay?”
You always seemed to know when he was feeling off and he wanted to remove the concern from your eyes. “I don't…”
“You don't what?”
He inhaled and exhaled again, and he felt your pretty gaze on him as he ran a hand through his hand. There was nothing wrong with telling you. Maybe it would make him feel better. “I don't like heights,” he said above a whisper, feeling some of his anxiety subside.
It stemmed from his childhood when he lost his dad in a parachute accident, and it never went away. The fear only got worse when he fell from the train. When he was under HYDRA’s command, he wasn't allowed to experience fear. They locked it away deep inside with the rest of him. Now that was himself again, his fears came back to the surface stronger than before.
“Oh, Bucky.” You moved a little closer and angled your body as if to shield him from the view. It was sweet of you. “Are you okay?”
His jaw clenched, but he nodded. “I'm fine as long as I don't go to the railing.”
Your eyes widened and he felt like shit when he saw the guilt that swam there. “Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have asked you to look if-”
“Don’t be. You had no idea,” he said, putting his hand over yours and quickly pulling away when he realized what he did. “I know you wouldn't have asked if you knew.” You were one of the most thoughtful people in his life. If you knew in advance that he hated heights, you not only would've kept him far from the railing, but you would've made the gang move the gathering somewhere else to accommodate him.
“No, I wouldn’t push you out of your comfort zone,” you confirmed, staring at your hand where he touched it.
“You’d somehow widen the comfort zone so I felt okay,” he smiled. That was the kind of person you were.
“Maybe,” you smiled. “May I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he nodded. Anything you wanted.
“If you don't like heights, what made you come up here?” you asked curiously.
You.
But he didn't admit that you were the reason. It would've been the right time or place. “I… I don't want it to be a big deal. Besides, I wouldn't look like a team player if I skipped,” he answered, and he was telling the truth. You were still the number one reason though.
“Well, if you aren't feeling it, we can go to the lounge. Just say the word,” you offered.
“We?” he repeated.
You played with the hem of your shirt, which made him smile. “Yeah, I mean, if you want the company.”
Bucky always wanted your company. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiled, leaning in a little closer. “And listen. I know this is silly, but if you could not say anything. Steve’s the only one who knows and…”
Bucky was learning to be vulnerable again. He was trying. And if there was anyone who wouldn’t use his fears against him even in a joking manner, it was you. He trusted you.
“I won't say a word,” you whispered.
“You swear?” he smiled.
You surprised him by wrapping your pinky around his, and your touch would linger long after you let go. “Pinky swear.”
Love and thanks for participating in Ficlet Friday! ❤️ And we still need him to confess.
#navybrat writes#ficlet friday#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fluff#sebastian stan characters#x reader#james buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky imagine#bucky fanfic#mumbles411
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Ask Comp 9/1
Anonymous asked: has sally been introduced to cursed tavros yet?
[ cursed tavros jumpscare :D ]
Cursed indeed - but mind you, I don't think I could do much better. My handcraft skills are nonexistent!
Anonymous asked: ol tavvy is down with the clown ;o) Anonymous asked: Please, if you will, imagine if when Vriska kissed Tavros, he told her that he was already dating Gamzee.
Heh. I really do think Gamzee x Tavros could have worked out, at least until Gamzee lost his shit. Hell, even if Gamzee did lose his shit, he'd probably still be less of a threat to Tavros than Vriska was.
Anonymous asked: Did you notice Gamzee referenced Earth in his rap? ("6 trillion hemos all up on one rock bleeding as equals") How do you think he learned about it? Some weird pre-game precognition or just his stoned mind being accidentally right?
This isn't necessarily a reference to Earth - but it wouldn't surprise me if it was, because Gamzee's cult seems fully aware of the existence of Earth.
The 'paradise planet' referenced in Gamzee's intro is stated to not exist yet, which is exactly how the narration refereed to Earth in Hivebent's intro. I believe that the 'rowdy minstrels' he's talking about are literally ICP, although he clearly isn't aware of that fact.
@wizardlyghost asked:
A sentiment shared by Eggman, every Space Player, and the villain of Muppets Most Wanted.
Anonymous asked: Now that you've passed where fedorafreak's gray, serviceable hand-held computing device's battery has died, you might appreciate the following short piece of fan art: www tumblr com/vastderp-placeholder/7741061457/savior-of-the-texting-world-rise-up
The fucking implication that the phone is the Player in this scenario is obliterating me.
Also, its God Tier form has wings. Was it a troll all along, or are wings a symbol of divine apotheosis in phone culture, too?
@clueless-rarito asked: Heeey paranatural reference! Hell yeah!
Is anyone else totally stoked to see Eightfold again? I know I am!
Anonymous asked: bilious sick 😭
English's trick made our Bilious sick. :(
Anonymous asked: One of, if not my absolute favorite, quotes/moments in Homestuck is Karkat’s speech to Jade about his failed frog breeding here. Just such a wonderfully tragic moment that stuck with me since the first time I read it.
In a comic chock-full of great lines, that last one might just be the best so far. This was one of the last scenes before Act 5's true finale, and it was an excellent pick.
@drakethedeep asked: One theory I've heard about the Denizen's Choice that tend to headcanon, Is that the choice is to be happy/free or to matter. That much as how God-tiers only grants survival by never having an impact, the denizens have thier playes coose between seeking their happiness and survival, or to struggle to achieve things that while objevtivly monumental, might not be worth the sacrifices needed to achieve it. I like this theory because of how it themes to fit the themes of Sburb.
I really like the space you're playing in, but I'm not so sure if all the Choices we've seen would necessarily fit this interpretation. After all, Davesprite implicitly chose the 'survival' option when he first met Hephaestus, and he's not exactly a happy camper. He didn't end up particularly free, either, since he was almost immediately bound to a Sprite, and later to the Battlefield.
I guess you could say he 'mattered', because he is he reason the Alpha Timeline exists the way it does - but, technically, everyone's actions contribute to the Alpha Timeline being the way it is. I definitely think there's something to this theory.
Anonymous asked: Without the Door to actually enter the universe, all you've done is make a really big frog.
I guess, when you think about it, there's not really anything they can do with their universe without that door. I suppose they could just fly towards their frog and hope for the best, but somehow, I don't think that'll achieve much.
@morganwick asked: Of course, even though he wasn't fooled by Gamzee using Terezi's "voice", Karkat still showed up on the roof anyway. Perhaps he decided he couldn't take the risk that Terezi was actually there and Gamzee might catch her unawares.
Gamzee's been having a lot of fun 'impersonating' Terezi lately. Just like before, I don't think he ever intended to fool Karkat with his transparent ruse - he just wanted to unsettle the guy. It worked.
@morganwick asked: If Typheus is the mailman, does that make him PM's favorite Denizen?
Maybe it makes him the head of her mail service!
We never saw any other mail Carapacians, and I kind of love the idea that they were operating out of a Denizen's Palace the whole time.
@bladekindeyewear asked: You said: "Mind you, I don’t know if it’s necessarily always a good or heroic thing to allow a Sburb Player full agency over their actions, nor is it necessarily a bad thing to restrict them, in certain cases." Oh I'm completely with you there. In fact, you might DEFINE Heroism as denying agency to those who would do ill, in part. This would make both "Heroic" and "Just" deaths result from trying to stamp your own intentions upon reality, halted by others. Neutrality would be ineffectual.
That's certainly part of heroism - but to me, it's not even close to all of it. A firefighter, for example, is heroic in ways which don't involve another person, as their only real 'opponent' is nature itself.
I personally define heroism as the will to do good, in situations where doing good requires bravery. 'Good', of course, is a fairly slippery concept, though, so that definition is just as ambiguous as any other.
Anonymous asked: Doctor Who anon here. Doctor Who has no canon for purely practical reasons. It's so massive - there's the show, but there's also the Big Finish audio dramas, the DW magazine comics, the Radio Times comics, the IDW comics, the Titan comics, the Virgin novels and short stories, the BBC novels and short stories. And no one owns all of it. The BBC don't even own the daleks or K9. And each piece of media will freely contradict others. No one has the right to decide what's canon, so they just don't. It's also because the people running Doctor Who the show have a deep respect for the extended media. In the 90s, it was the non-BBC licensed, fan-led projects which kept DW alive. Russell T. Davies, first showrunner of the modern era, wrote Virgin novels, so did Mark Gatiss. Nick Briggs, modern voice of the daleks, is the head of Big Finish. So they didn't want to decanonise that stuff, but they also don't want to be beholden to it when writing their own stories. So the fanbase tends to operate on tiers of canon. Basically something can be assumed to still be part of the show's continiuity until the show contradicts it. Big Finish would generally be considered the next highest "tier" of canon. The Doctor Who magazine comics probably wouldn't contradict the show, but the show could contradict them any time. The old books and comics are dubious. But that's all just fan categorisation. Officially, nothing has been deemed canon or not. In fact, rather amusingly, the only thing that has been explicitly deemed "canon" by the BBC is the Doctor Who: Battles in Time card game. That's officially canon. Nothing else. Not even the show.
I think I've heard of 'canon tiers' before, in the context of the Star Wars fandom. I think it's a good way to delineate how 'true' a given event is considered to be, especially in a large, complex shared universe - but at the same time, being consciously aware of these tiers might hurt your investment a little.
You'll never be able to escape the fact that your favourite stories or characters are effectively fanfiction, at least from the perspective of higher tiers. They have no influence whatsoever over the more ''real'' part of the story, unless they're promoted its tier some day.
I do like the idea that all the other Doctor Who stories are fanfiction of the card game, though. That's definitely going to be my canon, from now on.
@morganwick asked: Well, back in Act 4 you said that John and Dave would make S-Tier if and when "John [threw] aside his passivity to do something heroic, and…Dave [would] finally drop that poker face and do something sincere", which is why I pegged the suicide mission conversation as when Dave might make the jump.
I think, on reflection, it's almost always a heartwarming event that catapults a character into S-Tier.
In my opinion, that's one of the most impressive feelings that a work of fiction can inspire in you, mostly because it's really hard to get you invested enough for it to hit properly. Homestuck's pulled it off an extremely impressive number of times already, and we're only halfway finished!
Anonymous asked: It is so fucking awesome to see a new reader in the year of our lord 2024 2025 who's actually like. Engaging with the themes of the story. Lotta people just see it for the memes or the "totally random" plot but some of the shit you're reading into what's happening is like. Eerily similar to actual Hussie commentary. Gold star for reading comprehension, you do not piss on the poor Anonymous asked: Your homestuck liveblogs are lovely and insightful and make me remember a lot of details of the comic that have been lost to time. You will comment on something and I'll go "oh huh homestuck was better than I remember it being." Thank you <3 @honestlyvan asked: Truly your liveblog is the best kind of re-experiencing the experience. I'm surprised at how much your thoughts and reads parallel mine, it's kind of fun to see someone else's deductions go along the same routes. I can't wait for you to get to the Truly Horseshit portions of the plot (and I say this lovingly, I think you're in a great position to give us a real raw read on them without having to deal with the various Mega and Gigapauses) Also -- you keep pointing out a shitton of foreshadowing I didn't catch until my second readthrough. I can't wait for you to get to the bits where it applies and be like "son of a bitch", I think where I'm in the reading of your backlog and where you're in the reading of the comic you've passed at least one of those bits already :D @worldweary-walker asked: The liveblog is so cool. It's a lot of fun seeing you put things together, and the posts where you come up with three completely right conclusions and two wrong ones always amaze me. Impressive work!
Thank you so much! I know I say this a lot, but a lot of these sentiments are exactly why I like reading liveblogs myself. I'm just really glad I can do that for others.
I can totally understand why someone would just read Homestuck for the memes. I wouldn't have been nearly as analytical if I'd read it as a schoolgirl, and a lot of the 2010s fandom were even younger than that!
@divineerdrick asked: Now we have multiple explanations for what is wrong with the kid's session. Vriska has made herself responsible for Jack's rise to power, Karkat believes he gave Bilious Slick cancer, and Gamzee created the harlequin doll that would torment John and prompt Jack's rage-fueled act of rebellion. You've already suspected that Doc Scratch probably has multiple plans in play at once, and we can see that here. It seems he insured, through multiple causes, the kid's universe has always been doomed. Gamzee, as usual, seems to be the wild card. But he's acting out during a crisis of faith, a faith tied to Alternia's twisted social structure, which Scratch seems to have had a hand in. So despite how random Gamzee's actions appear to be, it's possible Scratch managed to seed even this seemingly unpredictable action.
I think Scratch probably did 90% of the work in making Gamzee go ballistic, from multiple directions at once. Looking back, it's shocking just how much of the comic was Scratch's doing.
'Caused' is a loaded phrase in Paradox Space, but what's happening is definitely what he planned.
Anonymous asked: It kind of seems like Rage as an aspect is evil, no? Do you think an aspect can carry an inherent moral weight? If not, what are the neutral meanings of aspects that seem to, and if so, how do you feel about it?
Personally, I doubt that any of the Aspects have a moral alignment - not even the scary-sounding ones. After all, you can Rage against tyranny, or bring Doom to a corrupt institution. Yeah, Gamzee is using Rage for evil, but his perception-shielding could just as easily be used to hide an innocent bystander from an aggressive Underling.
I think that more or less any ability can be used for both good or evil. The only real exception would be a power that's deliberately designed to be irreparably, comically evil. 'The ability to torture everyone for all eternity' would be one of those powers, but Homestuck's Aspect abilities would not.
@worldweary-walker asked: have you read Kill Six Billion Demons?
I have not! It's on my long and constantly growing list, which means I'll get to it between now and, uh, 2096.
Anonymous asked: re: the ancestors' story. WHAT IF WE ALL JUST CRIED like. the sheer transition from inane antics to the. that @corporalotherbear asked: There's a very popular fanmade version of the sufferer's final sermon and following vast expletive, voiced by a man that would go on to be the english voice actor of Izuku Midoriya. I can't add links to asks but if it's spoiler-friendly then your vetter can probably send you "The sufferer's last sermon"
Oh, I kind of love this interpretation. It really sells just how unwinnable the Sufferer's rebellion truly was.
@wolygan asked: I forgot how she is so happy when she is running away. This Girl is still able to believe that good is coming. Except Lord English won't let that happen, no matter what. @wickedsick asked:
That was possibly the fastest you have ever been proven wrong about something
That poor girl. She suffered just as much as the Signless did, but she'll only be known to Alternia as a monster - and unlike Troll Jesus, no one will ever mourn the Handmaid.
Anonymous asked: the sufferer cult is definitely independent of the juggalos! the use of the word sectarian to describe the war waged against the signless's beliefs is not a coincidence, imo. (we also see that highblood is most often used to specifically describe purplebloods). they're just two different religious organizations. given that the grand highblood was a juggalo man/subjuggulator and occupied significant power it seems to suggest that clown religion was a Big Thing among the purplebloods, which would not truck with the signless' cult being so small and secretive. there's one theory that part of the reason the neophyte was sent on mindfang's case was bc the GHB (given that mindfang mentions the neophyte was sent by subjuggulators specifically) knew she was a secret sufferite and wanted to get rid of her. mindfang does talk about how it seemed like they were giving up on her case entirely by sending just one neophyte (granted this is partially bc she underestimated her). it would track that while they definitely wanted to get rid of mindfang, they also were fine with the neophyte dying. this also follows with the fact that after mindfang gets out of that trial, she manages to persist without being caught right up until her death at the hands of the summoner. were they happy that the neophyte got killed, enough to stop putting much effort into mindfang's capture?
I think the Highbloods probably did set Redglare up. I speculated that it was possible when we first heard about her death, and that was before we knew she was a Signless cultist.
Also: lmao, do you remember when Hussie told us that the Juggalo Cult was 'obscure'? That's starting to feel like something that was quietly retconned offscreen.
@clueless-rarito asked: In case you like to know, "Dolorosa" is meant to evoke the spanish word "Doloroso" meaning painful but changing the O for an A turn it feminine.
Dolorosa; in other words, the woman in pain.
Fucking hell, she deserved so much better. It's amazing how much bleaker the Ancestors' lives were, compared to their descendants. Modern Alternia is bad enough as it is!
@lon-kasi asked: Fanwork recommendation: The same guy who did the EoA5 reanimation just did Intermission 2 as well. Like, less than six hours before I sent this ask. It's incredible.
Yessss! These are amazing.
My favorite parts are all the extra touches that weren't in the original animation, such as Rose beginning to realizing how badly she was tricked - or Jade, unused to her own powers, almost knocking John on his ass while she teleports him.
Anonymous asked: Now that you've seen what a Reckoning on Skaia looks like, you can see why Karkat was rushing Kanaya to get their frog done. Despite jumping the gun, skipping the lore elements and just killing their way to the end, the troll kids never had enough time. Especially since, now that I'm thinking about it, if it wasn't the Reckoning then it probably would have been Jack as the "time's up, now turn in your work" event. @marinerofthestars asked: With the revelation that Alternia was built to and ended up speedrunning an Sgrub/Sburb session to catastrophic effect (great job reading this far, btw), how long would you expect a “standard” session to take?
We've got two different asks here - one saying that normal sessions are meant to be shorter than Hivebent's, and the other saying they're meant to be longer.
I honestly don't know which I believe. It feels unrealistic for a Sburb session to take months, but Scratch really did seem to be saying that the trolls were extremely effective Players, implying most sessions take longer to beat. Maybe the reboot session will clue us in a little?
Anonymous asked: “How do you expect to out run me, When I Am Already Here.” Is such a hard line, and it’s completely missable in the alt text for the site banner. I know a lot of people missed it when these panels dropped. I remember HS being considered super unique because of how much the comic messes with formatting things like that.
I was super close to missing some of that scene, even though I'd already been warned about the alt text. There was just so much going on at the time, I almost didn't think to look at the banners.
@royalvorpal asked: "I thought words would be exchanged" How do you expect them to talk when they are in person?
pffffffffffffffffffft
Alright, that one fucking got me.
@bladekindeyewear asked: "But no, apparently not, because it took Karkat zero words and sixty seconds to completely shut Gamzee down. Now, don’t get me wrong, that’s incredibly impressive - but what did he actually do?" If you look back IN RETROSPECT at some of what Gamzee has been telling Karkat, it almost looks like pale flirting, like he was actually WANTING him to do this behind his threats. p3361: "FTC: i wonder if you can all be at with me in time and make me get my reconsider on?" Anonymous asked: You may not like it, but this is what peak moirallegience looks like.
Yeah, this really does make that exchange read as a little flirtatious.
Still, is this really how a moirallegiance is meant to work? Are moirails really expected to risk their lives to halt their prospective partner's rampage? This is starting to sound more dangerous than a kismesissitude!
@bladekindeyewear asked: I'm not sure how well it applies to the revised Homestuck website and it's probably impossible in the collection, but you could view any past/future page in any CSS format the site gave you with a keyword, like the black-on-green Doc Scratch format. So when Andrew did the "SNOP" to SBAHJ-mode, he was intentionally giving us a tool to view the ENTIRE SITE in SBAHJ mode.
There's a 'theme override' button, but I need to finish Homestuck to unlock it. I guess the comic's theme will change in more spoilery ways, later on.
Anonymous asked: Dolorosa/Mindfang is the true kicker of the “vriska keeps ending up in mirror relationships to her ancestor” belief, bc its the one where there is NO way vriska could know that shes in a mirror relationship. Eridan- orphaner dualscar and mindfangs romance was in the journal. Tavros- she knew about the summoner. But while there are hints to the dolorosas identity- sharp teeth, lower blood color, and a very vague if you stretch it hint about horn shape- no way vriska could have put those pieces together!!!
Man, it's still so fucked up that the Dolorosa went out like that. I still think it's at least remotely possible that she revived as a vampire, but I'm not gonna kid myself - her story is over. We're not gonna see her.
Anonymous asked: You've mentioned "ratfic" and something called "the Methods" before, is that something you've read?
If I could write an essay about Steven Moffat, I could write an entire thesis about Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality - but it'd be radioactively critical, and it feels mean-spirited to just post a rant about something unprompted.
If people want my thoughts in detail, I might stick them on the sideblog later - but for now, I'll just tell you that if it wasn't for that fic, XAE A-12 Musk would never have been born. Not a joke.
Anonymous asked: i love the complete about face on gamzee lol. "clearly the fact that he's gone nuts is something wrong with the timeline" gamzee is revealed to be responsible for lil cal "actually fuck this guy"
If we do ever recover the original Gamzee, it's going to really suck for him to face his friends. After everything he's done, will anyone ever really trust him again?
@elkian asked: Love the Exiles. So glad nothing bad happens to them, ever, (I assume the pause before the third s175 post is bc you, like me, took a break to cry over AR hesitating to kill his friend :,(
I was so bummed, guys. Carapacians don't have ghosts, I assume - so the Exiles, sans PM and maybe WV, are gone forever.
The Red Miles will probably have obliterated their corpses, so we can't even prototype most of them - but I'm holding out hope for Waywardsprite.
Anonymous asked: heh, you aren't alone in preferring god tier dave without his hood. i was around for when cascade dropped and wasnt able to watch it straight away due to the various troubles, but one of the first things i heard about it was people talking about how stupid they thought dave's hood looked.
I know, right? Like, yeah, it definitely says 'knight', but Dave's got great hair, and it feels like a shame to cover it.
@bladekindeyewear asked: "PCG: SHE WAS CONSTANTLY FIXING MY FUCKUPS. PCG: ROBOTS FROM THE FUTURE ALWAYS COMING BACK TO TELL ME HOW SOME HASTY SHIT I DID WITH FROG BREEDING OR WHATEVER WOULD MAKE IT BE IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN. PCG: MY OWN PERSONAL MISTAKES PROBABLY ACCOUNTED FOR MORE DOOMED ARADIABOTS THAN ANYTHING ELSE." Now that the Tumor's revealed for the precision device it was, it's also clear that Aradia, likely following the Horrorterrors' instructions, FORCED them to breed the frog JUST RIGHT to create the Sun.
Yeah, the existence of that precision device really fucking threw me. Whatever it did, the frog cancer probably was deliberately engineered to cause it - and I think it was engineered by Scratch, rather than the Horrorterrors. He was also talking to Aradia during the session, and this event was key to his plan.
Anonymous asked: (And one more ask from the person without a tumblr. -DJ) The thing is, Scratch could have just said "you must create the Green Sun, it is essential for the existence of the multiverse, not doing so will create a paradox". But either he chose to trick them, by only but saying "true words", just for fun…or there is some reason telling them about their true mission wouldn't work - RM
Either is possible, and it's pretty much impossible to say. That said, the Vast Glub is proof that he does just like messing with people, so I'm going with the former answer.
Anonymous asked: (forwarding another ask from the person without a Tumblr account -DJ) Do you think there are interesting parallels between Scratch and Tarquin from OOTS? - RM
Well, they are both meta-aware villains with extremely wide-reaching plans, and they're both pretty weird about women. Hopefully this means that Scratch's much cooler son will kick his ass in a later Act.
@bladekindeyewear asked: One tiny cute detail in Cascade I love is how when the Green Sun lights up in the distance for the trolls, Terezi tries to point at it, and Karkat gently takes her arm and re-points it in the right direction. XD
Shoulda brought the Smelloscope, Terezi!
Anonymous asked: The first time i read homestuck my shit bugged out and I literally just missed the entire scrapbook section and cascade. The SECOND time I read homestuck cascade gave me such a neuron firing high that only harrow the ninth has ever gotten close to
That's exactly how to describe it. Cascade blasted my neurons, in exactly the same way that part of Harrow the Ninth did.
@rwbypro asked: Ngl one of my favorite parts about homestuck is the fact that Doc Scratch Won, like he got Exactly what he wanted, and he played everyone like fiddles, one of my all time favorite villains in anything!
He did, the bastard! Scratch managed to pull it off without a hitch.
These are the exact kind of convoluted masterstrokes you want to see in a time-travel story, and I think English's machinations will only grow more intricate, going forward.
@sanctferum asked: The juggalo cult believes in a pair of mirthful messiahs rather than just the one, so if English is one of the messiahs, that's only half the equation. Presumably, the other messiah would be Scratch.
That works! I originally thought that the Messiahs were the two members of ICP, but let's be honest, they still could be. I absolutely would not put it past this comic to reveal that Lord English was Shaggy 2 Dope the whole time.
@sanctferum asked: So now that you've seen Lord English's true appearance: he's got a peg leg, and that peg leg is a golden cuestick, filling in the last missing piece of the Felt analogy - the one that moves the billiards around in the first place. For good measure, English's peg leg, single golden tooth and his garish coat give him a stereotypical pimp appearance, which is fitting given his treatment of his female servants so far (not to mention Scratch's own treatment of both the Handmaid and whichever female player he is manipulating at any given moment. He even explicitly uses the word grooming to describe raising Handmaid!). If there was ever a pimp for Dave to lock in his own crib while dropping it like it was hot, this would be him.
Ayy, you're right! I've been waiting for the Felt's cuestick since the Intermission days!
You're also right about the comic's villains. Scratch and English aren't just screwing over female Players - they've also been fucking with Mindfang, the Handmaid, the Condesce, and even Snowman. It's absolutely a pattern.
These guys aren't just cosmic villains, they're misogynist cosmic villains. Mundane evil and supernatural evil, all together in one convenient package of shit.
Anonymous asked: Now that we've gotten past this point in the comic- I just wanted to say I forgot Expatri8 was ever a name used to refer to Darkleer- mainly because all I ever see people refering to him as is Darkleer. And at first it kinda threw me for a loop when you called him that even though it's the only name you knew for him- Anyhows- You probably noted this at some point but only upper middle class to high blood colors seem to have name names, with some exceptions. Like, they're weird, but Mindfang, Redglare, and Dualscar are all fesable names. Meanwhile the lower bloods just have titles.
It is absolutely in character of Alternia not to allow lowbloods to have names.
Anonymous asked: Just read your liveblog over the last two days. I adore your analysis! I second that one person’s reccomendation of In Stars And Time. Also I reccomend the Blue Lips homestuck video, it’s lived in my head for ages. I’m 99% sure it’s safe to watch now? It’s about the events of murderstuck and I don’t THINK it references anything you don’t know. Anyhoot! I know you mentioned vriska being like Azula when you first started getting to know her. Now that you’re as far as you are, I’d like to argue… Vriska is more like Zuko, in a way? Like. The way she wants to wipe things clean, the way he wants to restore his honor. The way they both have a “parent” that leads them to how things are, and for a while they cling to that as “right” and how things should be… One time I saw a post that Vriska is girl Zuko and Eridan is boy Azula and all the comments were arguing that no, vriska is Azula, but lowkey that post changed my brain chemistry and idk why people were SO vehemently against changing the genders of the characters in the comparison
I think Vriska works well as girl Zuko. You're right - they both started off under the thumb of an abusive parent, and they both try to 'fix' their past mistakes without understanding the wider context behind why they made them. Now, does this mean Vriska will also be getting a kickass redemption arc, which turns her into one of the comic's most straightforwardly heroic characters? Possibly, but I ain't holding my breath.
It's a little harder for me to see the second comparison, though. Like her brother, Azula was made into what she is by her horrible father, whereas Eridan became what he is on his own, with some assistance from Alternian culture.
Perhaps there are layers here that I'm just not seeing. I haven't read the Avatar sequel comics yet, so they might do more with Azula's character that I don't know about.
@mrjocrafter asked: I was trying to think about what the characters' moon alignment means in terms of their characterization, thought "Prospit dreamers are relatively passive while Derse dreamers are relatively active", then realized that's only true for the humans, the Post-Scratch Trolls' 6 Prospit dreamers (excluding Sollux, as his 'official' alignment, according to the Extended Zodiac, is Derse) are the more active characters. Then I realized that on Earth darkness and dark-associated characters are edgy and countercultural, while on Alternia light and light-associated characters are countercultural instead! Goddamn this comic just keeps coming back for more themes Also, I know you've compared Taylor to Vriska in the past, but she really strikes me as more of a Terezi. Beyond the surface level stuff (like going blind and then relying on a supernatural sense), Taylor, like Terezi has a strong moral compass but will twist it into pretzels to do the most horrific shit and there's a 50/50 chance she even regrets it afterwards. Meanwhile, Amy, who I think makes a much better Vriska, does her atrocities either under manipulation (like Vriska) or just does it without thinking about it and feels bad about it later (hey, also like Vriska). Also, Taylor Hebert and Amelia Dallon are coincidentally both valid troll names.
Yup! Which means Kanaya is a troll goth, which is still amazing.
And... hmm, I'm not sure whether I'd call Dave active or passive. He certainly acts more on his own initiative than John, but he also spends a lot of time getting bossed around by Terezi. He's kind of in the middle, really.
I do think Terezi's reframing of her violence as 'justice' is very Taylor-coded - and Amy is absolutely a Vriska, if we're working off the 'female, controversial, and morally ambiguous' definition given by a previous asker. Plus, well...
...yeah. And let's not even talk about Ward. (Because I haven't read it.)
Really, all these characters are multifaceted, and you can draw many different parallels in many different directions. If I had the time, I could probably draw lines from each of the trolls to a different cape in the Wormverse - but for now, we must continue!
@morganwick asked: Bec's influence on Jack is so strong that not only is he reduced to following Jade around like a puppy, he kills CD for completing the mission he gave him and leaves Jade, one of the players he's supposed to be killing, on her quest bed, the nature of which he didn't seem to know about when it came to John. Bec = absolute king.
Bec is a king.
It really does seem like his influence over Jack is increasing as time passes. Is Davesprite going to get more birdlike, as well? Or is Bec just a special case because he's a First Guardian?
Anonymous asked: oh my god you really just cleaned the board with the last minute Dave+Rose quest slab guess??? Like. You were going on about other things and then you just casually mention "oh I guess this could happen too" like okay!!! Seer!!!!
Yeah, I'm pretty proud of that one. I was just thinking about how Aradia might help the Derse kids, once she'd met them at the Sun, and then it hit me: she's been in exactly the same situation, in exactly the same place, because of exactly the same sun!
Anonymous asked: dogtier IS in fact what the entire fandom calls her, if you came up with that yourself congrats on the authentic 2011 homestuck experience, move over carcinisation this is the new big thing in convergent evolution
I did, but come on. That pun makes itself.
Anonymous asked: Fun fact: the music used in [S] Begin Intermission 2, "English", is the same when reversed. It is an EXTREMELY excellent detail. And another example of Toby Fox being a brilliant composer. @sanctferum asked: English by Toby Fox is a really cool song in that its a musical palindrome, playing the same both forwards and backwards, as befits the titular entity. The whole Felt album it's from is based around creating songs with time gimmicks in them, so it serves as a very good semifinal track to almost close the album out. @emotionallyglued asked: You finally got to the part where our big bad man appears! Simple question to ask but I'm looking forward towards the answer: what do you think of Lord English's theme? Grandiose enough to fit a villain of his caliber or did you expect something more/else?
Oh, shit, that's cool!
I liked the song a lot. Sure, it's not as bombastic as the boss theme I went with myself, but it is much, much scarier. It was the perfect way to remind us that this wasn't really a victory - that English's plan went off without a hitch. Our heroes are still in terrible, terrible danger.
@morganwick asked: post/756751870755733504 Still think of Doc Scratch as "Big Cal"? @sanctferum asked: You've heard of Lil' Cal and Big Cal, now get ready for the deadliest and dastardliest villain of all: Biggest Cal. Anonymous asked: you've seen lil cal, now get ready for BIG CAL @lon-kasi asked: finally, Big Ca- well. actually. Scratch was Big Cal, wasn't he? so finally, Bigger Cal
This is the real reason Scratch wouldn't tell Rose his boss's name - because if she'd known her manipulator worked for Bigger Cal, she'd have been too god damn scared to go grimdark.
Anonymous asked: T1ck T0ck goes the God Tier Clock. Its chime signals the Br8k of Scratch's H34D. And with the arrival of Lord English, he lets loose two great, Vast honk HONKS. Anonymous asked: Did you notice something about the English sequence? First, we see Scratch's clock. t1ck, t0ck. Then, his head breaks. 8r8k H34DS. He releases the Vast Honk. honk HONK.
This motherfucker died to the very words that birthed him.
I guarantee you that this was deliberate on Scratch's part. He didn't need to foreshadow his plan so blatantly - but this horrible little troll knew that nobody would get the joke until it was too late.
bladekindeyewear asked: "S u c k e r s ." The bioorganic-looking Tumor opening up to reveal a precision device. Twice the mass of a universe. Doc Scratch fucking played EVERYONE SO HARD. We couldn't believe THEY CREATED THE GREEN SUN, so hard many of us watched without REALIZING IT. If you reread the talk Doc and Rose had from p3627 onward, the amount of TRANSPARENT DODGES AND WEASELING he did in that conversation to mislead Rose and the entire readership is so blatant and shameless, oh my fucking god!!! Anonymous asked: Not only did Scratch never said the tumor would destroy the green sun, he also specifically said they would travel to the green sun LOCATION, not to the green sun itself.
God damn it!
Scratch may have been stoic on the outside, but you mark my words: he was absolutely roaring with laughter on the inside.
@sunbluethinking asked: Regarding 'a dozen or two sweeps,' you do have to remember that it seems like one sweep is roughly equivalent to two human years? (See Terezi's and Dave's 'I'm six' conversation, or whatever it was.) So my impression is that a dozen sweeps would be equivalent to 24 years and two dozen sweeps would be equivalent to 48 years. Still really short, but not quite as absurdly short. (Which actually reminds me of the question of the problem of rate of maturation in fictional races with different lifespans. (Dungeon Meshi touches on this, but) in the case of Homestuck, I think it seems like the trolls mature to adulthood at about the same rate. It's just their adult lifespans that are different.) @bellcarved asked: If my math is correct, "a dozen or two sweeps" is a range of 26 to 52 years. Still not great, but 26 would be the low end of the life expectancy, while they tend to live around half as long as a human.
So either Aradia was about to die, or she wasn't - but either way, she was always going to die young.
We still don't know whether God Tier stops you aging, do we? I have to assume so, because death by old age isn't really Heroic or Just, but I'd feel a lot better if it was 100% confirmed.
Anonymous asked: And here we learn the story of Jesus and the second coming- @bellcarved asked: Now you know the truth: Karkat Vantas is the second coming of Troll Jegus Christ. Anonymous asked: I doubt I'm the first to say this but, the story of the Signless is undeniably based off the story of Jesus Christ. @skelekingfeddy asked: you do realise that the sufferer is Troll Jegus right. the irons/cancer symbol is the crucifix. his method of execution turned into the main symbol of a religion. the dolorosa is mary. karkat is the second coming. hes literally just Troll Jegus lmao @sanctferum asked: turns out, Terezi was right all along. troll jegus was real after all, and he was indeed the best jegus. shame on you for not believing, Dave
God damn it, Karkat. You hate yourself so much, even though you're literally the second coming of Christ.
And really does add weight to Terezi's claim that Alternia had the 'best' Jesus. Sure, says she's joking here, but... well, her Ancestor was a follower of the Signless, wasn't she? Could Terezi have inherited more of Redglare's legacy than we thought?
Anonymous asked: now that you know about the signless i recommend you take another read of karkat's long password on page 3972
...huh.
It almost makes it seem like Karkat's vaguely cognizant of the Sufferer's life, the same way the Sufferer was cognizant of his pre-Scratch incarnation. Funny, that.
@morganwick asked: "For a bisexual alien, his shipping is awfully straight, isn't it?" Well, consider that when he drew that he was trying to adhere to the human model of reproduction with its explicit requirement of one person of each sex, as best he could from his alien perspective. Note that in the same conversation he's struggling to understand the "human taboo of incest". @manorinthewoods asked: Karkat's humanshipping is straight because John told him he wasn't gay, and presumably, he extrapolated. ~LOSS (28/12/24) Anonymous asked: Karkat's very straight shipping chart is the way it is because John's Not A Homosexual:tm:
I totally forgot I came to the same conclusion, back in that legendary group chat.
Man, Rose x Kanaya is really going to throw Karkat for a loop. He'll probably think that John was just bullshitting him.
@skelekingfeddy asked: steven moffat is a valid troll name Anonymous asked: You've brought it up too much not to ask, what did Moffat do that pissed you off so badly?
Once more, I am very tempted to make this a full essay, but I'll save time by just pointing to Hbomberguy's famous Sherlock video, which I agree with, like, 80% of - particularly the Doctor Who segment that I've timestamped.
In a nutshell, Moffat was always really good at generating intrigue, and building hype for future events - but as a showrunner, he never really delivered on his promises, and was very fond of handwaving established canon to the side. Pet peeve of mine, as you can imagine.
@rwbypro asked: We warned you bro, we warned you about the most important character @skelekingfeddy asked: carcinoGeneticist may have engineered the cancer…but terminallyCapricious was the one who made it terminal. ;o) @capribornio asked: Honk, honk :0) Heyyyy you reached the part where Gamzee became my favorite enemy. Forget Vriska, Jack and Doc Scratch - Gamzee may have his buttons pushed by the good ol' Doc, but he managed to make things worse than even Vriska got to (and killed more main characters, too!). Anonymous asked:Congratulations on reaching this point. So, Gamzee chucklefucked the universe. Crazy, right? @bellcarved asked: Gamzee's "Bard of Rage" title is looking more accurate than ever, now. His own rage lead him to put the clowns in John's dreams, which ended up inspiring the rage that made Jack Noir go to the lengths he did. Bardic inspiration, if you will. …also, this makes Perfect Jack a collaborative effort between Vriska and Gamzee. @capribornio asked: I feel like you get Gamzee much better than most livebloggers (and a part of the fandom, too). Gamzee is an orchestrator, on a much bigger level than any could have predicted. The silly little troll dissappeared once he got off the slime, got his religion destroyed, and got Lil Cal.
I told you, guys! I told you Bards were overpowered!
Yeah, he's already getting pretty crafty, isn't he? Maybe, instead of manipulating Gamzee like he did the girls, Scratch has actually been coaching him. After all, his own manipulating days are over, so maybe he saw fit to train a successor...
Anonymous asked: if vriska was presented with a choice about the creation of bec noir, it would have had to be before the veil because the trolls only flee into the veil AFTER bec shows up and wrecks their reward- and that's their first introduction to him. any choice she could have made about bec/jack after that would result in a doomed timeline, because it would break the loop. that's why it has to be before the veil. @manorinthewoods asked: What I mean is that the Choice that would have prevented Bec Noir is something that would have made Vriska change who she was, in such a way that she wouldn't later make Bec. Vriska's Choice that made Bec can't have occurred in the Veil, because there wasn't a Denizen to give it, so whatever it was, it must have been something to do with character growth that she failed to do. ~LOSS (28/12/24)
Oh, right, that makes sense!
Yeah, poor Vriska simply wasn't self-aware enough to make such a Choice before the Veil. It's interesting what-if, though.
@flambeaufelid asked: ICP albums liveblog maybe??? (Do people liveblog music reactions? They should.) Anonymous asked: Since you mentioned the possibility of having to listen to ICP albums to understand Gamzee better, I figured I’d better let you know that while reading a bit about juggalos, ICP, and ICP’s music does help with understanding Gamzee better if you’re unfamiliar with them (though I wouldn’t say it’s crucial), I don’t recommend listening to their music unless you’re comfortable with graphic depictions of gore, murder, and other forms of violence. (Speaking from personal experience here; I tried listening to them because Gamzee’s my favorite character and quickly realized I didn’t enjoy that.) Anonymous asked: I would say listening to icp is not necessary… I tried myself and failed not even half way through one album so I admittedly could be wrong but… I think it was never intended to be THAT serious
I checked out Miracles, back when ICP was first brought up, but I haven't seen any of their other music. It's probably not actually necessary to listen to the band to understand Gamzee, but I might still do it for fun, since the graphic content wouldn't bother me much.
@skelekingfeddy asked: according to hussie the fifth wall is what divides two narrators/authors @sanctferum asked: According to Hussie's comments, if the fourth wall is the wall between the character and the author/their audience, then the fifth wall is specifically the wall dividing omniscient narrators from each other. or something like that
I, uh, guess that makes sense. Presumably Scratch would be our second 'author' in this scenario, even though he's not literally another author of Homestuck.
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wc: 647 | Rating: T | CW: mentions of infidelity, technically hurt no comfort because I haven’t written the part where they make up | Additional Tags: future fic, famous Eddie Munson, past Steddie
Okay, look. The tv was on in the background, and Ross and Rachel were breaking up, and this happened in my head. I’m posting it for Fuck It Friday because fuck it. The only thing getting me through life right now is cough drops.
Hell of a Time at the Wake
“Yeah, haven’t had a drink or touched any drugs in five years, as of last month.”
“Oh wow, so that’s from before Corroded Coffin made it big.” The interviewer chuckles. “Usually it’s the fame and rehab that come first.”
“I prefer to think of myself more as regionally notorious, but sure. Never did the rehab thing, though.”
“Well, what’s the story there?”
Behind their frontman, the rest of the band shares a look. “Oh, we don't need to—”
“Nah, Jeff, it’s okay man.” Eddie waves them off, then turns back to the interviewer. “Back before we hit the road to make a name for ourselves, I was seeing someone back home. I mean, the someone. The one. But we kept having this same… not really a fight, just this thing: I wanted to leave town, they didn’t. And then finally we had this huge blowout about it that started as something else and somehow turned into that again, which turned into both of us storming off. They went home, and I went out and got completely shitfaced, and in the morning I woke up with someone whose name I didn’t even know in bed with me.”
The interviewer winces.
“Yeah. And when you do something shitty like that, it’s going to come out sooner or later. Or pretty much immediately, in this case, which.” Eddie grimaces and shrugs. “Well, it gave us something else to fight about, that’s for sure. I knew I’d fucked up bad, but it took hours of back and forth before I realized that we were done done. Trust completely obliterated, no way to come back or move on from that, just… over.”
There’s a pause where he stares off into space for a moment, stuck on a memory. Then he shakes himself and refocuses.
“Anyway, at some point during my doomed attempt to salvage things, I swore I’d never have another drink ever again. Which, the being drunk of it all wasn’t really the problem, so saying that didn’t buy me anything, but… even after it ended, I didn’t. I’d been so fucked up that night, and it wasn’t the booze so much as the fear of it being over that made me a one man self-fulfilling prophecy—but I hurt someone I loved more than anything, and I never wanted let myself get that fucking stupid again, so. I haven’t. And honestly, I sleep better knowing that.”
“Wow.” The interviewer is staring at him, stunned. Probably doesn’t get a lot of this sort of thing, not just because of all the wild rockstars and other celebrities that come on the show with stories about trashed hotel rooms and wild parties, but because Eddie is being honest.
It’s not something he talks about… ever, really. Not even with the guys. But, after five years, it doesn’t hurt the same. It’s not even for St—
It’s not for his ex anymore, if it ever was.
“Why would it be weird?” Gareth is saying. “We have a built in DD, that’s always great. And Eddie doesn’t give us shit for anything, he’s just honest when we ask if anything was too out of hand. It’s a good reality check.”
“And like,” Doug adds, “he’ll still come out with us to clubs and shit to hang out. But if he says he doesn’t want to drive us to a bar it’s not some passive aggressive or superiority thing because we drink and he doesn’t; he’d really just rather fuck off and do something else.”
“Gee, thanks,” Eddie says dryly, but he’s smirking.
Doug flashes him finger guns, the fucking dork. “You’re welcome, asshole.”
And the interview moves on. These guys have been Eddie’s friends even longer than they’ve been his bandmates, and the four of them are solid. If the gossip vultures out there want something to pick at, they’ll have to find a different target.
Permanent tag list (ask to be added/removed):
@hotluncheddie @hiei-harringtonmunson @sofadofax @hickeysgodcomplex @oatmilk-vampire
@wheneverfeasible @hamiltonswiftie @grtwdsmwhr @yesdangerpls @theseaofdespair
And then someone shows Steve the interview and he asks Robin for Eddie’s number, and they talk for the first time in years and end up falling back in love, but that’s the hard to write part so this is what you get. Xoxo
#eddie munson#steddie#past steddie#famous eddie munson#famous corroded coffin#scoops words#fuck it friday
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FANFIC SNIPPET 23
NOTE: this snippet DIRECTLY follows snippet 21. Additionally, this is hot off the press and so I apologize if it feels a little half baked I’m ✨tired✨
[Lucanis learns about Naimeryn & Spite]
CW/TW: fear of death/harm, vague suggestion of child abuse
——————————————————————————
WAKE UP.
Lucanis jolted as Spite relinquished control so violently it startled him awake and set his head throbbing. Spite never gave control back willingly.
“What —?” He began, putting a hand to his head but jumping to his feet nevertheless. He sensed rather than was told that Spite needed him to go somewhere. Why not just sleepwalk him there?
ROOK. NEED TO GO TO ROOK. NOW.
“Why —?”
But Spite was incourrigible. He repeated himself over and over and was talking so fast Lucanis couldn’t make heads or tails of it. He gritted his teeth against the mounting headache and left the pantry, picking up his pace as Spite urged him on.
ROOK IS SPECIAL. He made out amidst the ceaseless babble. MY ROOK. NOT ROOK. NOT DEAD.
This repeated incessantly as Lucanis exited into the courtyard and headed towards the library. He felt his speed increase instinctually at the panic in the phrase “not dead.” What *was* he on about?
Lucanis was almost to the top of the stairs when the library door opened and Rook came flying out of it. She ran to the edge, gripping the railing of the stairs heading up, leaned over, and vomited.
THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULDN’T MESS. Spite sad sheepishly.
“Rook!” He called to her, so she would know he was coming. She turned to look at him, and the breath caught in his throat. Even at this distance her eyes were big, and red, and *wet*, and she looked so distraught he wanted to punch Spite for whatever it was he had done. He started quickly down the stairs.
“Spite said —“
She started talking, almost as though she hadn’t heard him. “Lucanis! There’s something I need to tell you. About —“
She cut herself off to spin back to the abyss and wretch again. Without a second thought he gathered her hair in his hands. It was wet — but then, he’d had worse things on his hands. He was irritated with Spite. What had he done to her?
NOT ME! Spite insisted. ZARA DID. TO ALL OF US.
“Spite isn’t making any sense,” Lucanis shook his head. “Is it about him?”
Rook nodded, gasping and shaking beneath his hands. She swallowed thickly. When she spoke, her voice trembled with rage.
“And about *Zara.*”
Lucanis released her hair in surprise. He wiped his hands against his thighs.
“Spite said something about Zara. I don’t understand.”
Rook nodded. “I need to sit.”
“Of course,” Lucanis stepped aside and moved to her right. She sat with her legs hanging off the edge, at the edge of the courtyard, which made him queasy. He sat cross-legged next to her, a little back from the expanse of nothingness that awaited a fall.
“I… I’m not sure how to begin, now,” Rook said, rubbing her forehead. Spite sat on her other side and… laid his head on her shoulder? At least he was finally quiet, but it was such an odd action for him it sent Lucanis’s head spinning. “Do you know… *anything* about the Hero of Ferelden? Or her companions?”
“One is rather famously a black mark on the Crows’ reputation,” Lucanis pointed out drily.
Rook laughed — not her usual, carefree giggle. This was strained, marred by whatever it was she had to tell him. “How could I forget Zev was a Crow?”
She sighed, a dreamy sort of a thing. “The Warden and the Crow who was sent to kill her, madly in love instead.”
She blushed, then. “Oh, uh, sorry. Side tracked. Uhm, so not him. Have you heard of Wynne?”
Lucanis shook his head.
Rook sighed again, kicking her feet. “She was an abomination. Sort of? Technically. A Circle Mage, possessed by what she believed was a Spirit of Faith, which prevented her from dying when Uldred tried to take over the Tower.”
“I met her once. She… was a huge part in helping me overcome *my* fear of becoming one.”
She shifted uncomfortably, peeking at him out of the corner of her eye nervously. Was she afraid she’d offended him? He’d thought such a fear was exclusive to southern mages, but he supposed it wasn’t irrational.
“You were afraid of possession?” He asked carefully.
“I’m… *from* Ferelden. My mother was an apostate who fled the Circle when she found out she was pregnant, rather than be forced to give me up. When *I* started showing signs…” Rook hugged herself tightly. “It’s hard enough for one apostate to hide in plain sight, but two? I couldn’t learn. I could only hide. My mother made it very clear that my options were hide it, or be taken away or just killed by the Templars, and suppress it, because if I became too powerful, I’d attract the attention of demons in the Fade while I slept, and if I became an abomination, I would hurt anyone and everyone I loved, and be killed for sure.”
Lucanis felt a pang in his chest. “How old were you?”
Rook sniffed, and he realized belatedly she was still crying. What in Thedas could this have to do with Spite?
“I don’t know… five? Six? And it wasn’t long after that I started to sense… something. First only in my dreams, then whenever I had to try especially hard to keep my magic from bubbling over, then a few times when a demon actually did come calling. At first I thought it *was* a demon, and I would become *terrified* any time I sensed it.”
“What was it?” He asked, suspecting he already had an idea.
“Eventually I told Saimaeria about it. She knew. But she just said, ‘there’s someone you should talk to’ and wrote a letter. About a year later, Wynne showed up at Weisshaupt. She confirmed what Saimaeria knew. It was a spirit.”
Rook held up a finger to him and buried her face in her hands. She shook, and Spite put his arm around her. Lucanis didn’t know what to do. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t know how. And Spite’s behavior was…. Unfathomable. How could a demon of spite be… caring? Compassionate?
Finally, Rook took a shuddering breath and looked him in the face. “A Spirit of Determination. A spirit who protected and sheltered me my entire life. A spirit who kept me strong.”
SURVIVED… OUT OF *SPITE.* Spite growled.
Rook jumped and spun towards the demon, then her hands fell into her lap. “Did I just… *hear* him?”
Pieces began to fall into place, and Lucanis’s stomach churned. “You’ve been talking about the spirit in past tense. Do spirits of determination become…”
Rook nodded and turned back to him. “A little over a year ago now, I almost died. I disobeyed a direct order from Weisshaupt and charged into a Darkspawn horde to save the town it threatened. I crawled out of harm’s way, and just before I passed out, the spirit…. Disappeared. I thought saving me destroyed it.”
“A little over a year ago,” Lucanis repeated hollowly.
ZARA. Spite snarled. Rook had no reaction. Lucanis thought she might have had the right idea throwing up. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“Is this why you’re always pestering me to talk to Rook?” He asked.
ROOK IS FAMILIAR. DIDN’T KNOW WHY.
Rook watched him carefully, waiting.
“He says he didn’t know until tonight,” he told her. “He was trying to figure out why you felt… familiar.”
SMELLS DIFFERENT. TOO MUCH BLIGHT.
He was *not* going to repeat that. He wondered how long she’d been a Warden, how long she had left. She probably didn’t even know someone like him knew about the Calling.
“I *hate* her,” Rook said, closing her eyes against the spark of magic that appeared there. “I already hated her for what she did to *you*.”
This statement stirred something in Lucanis he knew he should quiet. But hearing her admit that she cared enough about him, already, to hate someone on his behalf… he swallowed thickly. This new information only complicated things *more*.
“Now… now I feel like she personally slighted *me*! And *Spite*…”
She tugged her hands through her hair roughly.
“Has anyone ever told you, you care *too* much?” It was out before Lucanis had even considered the repercussions of saying it out loud. He leaned forward slightly, his knee dangerously close to touching her leg. She turned to look at him, chin jutted out, her hands still wrapped around her neck. The strange not-quite-sunlight of the Fade glowed against her bare cheekbones.
“No,” she chuckled. “Do you not think Spite deserves my care?”
Lucanis shook his head. “What I think about Spite is… complicated.”
*Much like how I’m starting to feel about you.*
WHY DIDN’T YOU ACTUALLY SAY THAT?
“I just meant… you’ve got yourself tied into knots over what Zara did to us. Only Zara can take responsibility for that.” He flicked his eyes from his hands where he’d been staring back to her face, to discover she’d turned her upper body towards him as well, and her eyes up close were more purple than he’d realized. Like a Treviso sunrise, just before the sun broke the horizon, where the sky met the canals. *Mierda,* this woman.
“We’ll make sure she does,” Rook promised him, her low volume doing nothing to soften the conviction of her words. “Together.”
“Together,” he repeated, his mouth dry.
KISS MAYBE — OH.
As Spite started to taunt him, Rook seemed to remember herself, and sat up straight. Lucanis cleared his throat and also straightened his posture. What was he thinking?
“Our Warden contacts got back to me. Us,” Rook said after a moment. “You haven’t left the Lighthouse since Caterina’s funeral… could I interest you in a trip to the Anderfels to stretch your legs? The monster Hunter we’re supposed to meet, Davrin? He’s kind of a legend around Weisshaupt. Should be… interesting.”
“You want to take me in the field? Don’t you think you should check with Lace first?” He snorted.
“She’s not my *mom*,” Rook rolled her eyes, but the little pout that accompanied it did not help her cause.
Well, Spite *had* been restless of late. And perhaps showing him somewhere new, somewhere he hadn’t been, would make him more manageable, at least for a time. Plus… annoying Lace might be kind of fun.
“If you’d like me to go, I’d be happy to accompany you,” he told her. The smile she gave in return was warm enough to melt winter. She suppressed it quickly, but the damage was done. Thankfully, she’d already asked of him what she wanted, for if she’d asked for anything else in that moment, it would have been hers.
“Great!” She said. “We’ll leave after breakfast. I think we could maybe get another couple hours’ sleep first, though. Uh. I mean —“
Her face and ears turned red, and he suppressed a smile of his own.
“I just meant I’m still… tired. So I’m gonna… try to get some more rest. Alone.”
“Of course,” Lucanis said calmly, trying to beat any thoughts about how cute she was when flustered into submission. He stood, holding his hand down to help her up as well. Her hand was like ice, and he fought the urge to cup it in both of his to warm it up.
“Good night, again,” he said stiffly.
“Good night, Lucanis,” she said softly. Maybe he imagined it, but it felt as though she hesitated to pull her hand away. When she did, it was quick, and she smiled at him again before ducking her head to walk past him and back into the library.
Lucanis watched her go before heading back to the dining hall.
Pancakes, he decided. It would be a perfect morning for pancakes.
#fanfic#dragon age the veilguard#rookanis#dragon age rook#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#my rook#dragon age#rook#rook x lucanis#original character#headcannons#fanfic snippet#lucanis and spite#spite dragon age#Naimeryn Thorne#Rook Thorne#grey warden rook#davrin#Wynne#hero of ferelden#zevran arainai#headcanon world state#dragon age relationships
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So I actually only just found out that OnK ended and I think I only read up to where S1 of the anime finished, so imagine my horror when I learned that not only did AquaRu happen (technically? I know there was a kiss, at least), but that Aqua dies after coming up with what's probably the stupidest plan I've ever heard of. I'm going off of this from the wiki, btw, so feel free to correct me if I'm missing anything, but I thought this story was going to be a critique on the entertainment industry mixed in with a "catch the killer" plot when I first started, yet it just looks like nobody learned anything by the end of it and the villain's defeat was underwhelming.
Good news! AquRuby did not really happen.
Bad news! AquRuby did not really happen.
Honestly, to this day, I have no idea wtf Akasaka was cooking when it came to the AquRuby stuff... my best guess is that because Oshi no Ko was influenced pretty strongly by Mengo's past works & Aka was trying to emulate some elements of it (to good effect, sometimes!) the AquRuby stuff was inserted to appeal to her and it actually playing out on page was them being like "lalala, playing with our toys" and wasn't ever something the two of them took really seriously.
By coincidence I ended up rambling about this off tumblr the other day, so I'll just grab what I said and slap it here so I'm not just repeating myself;
I'm gonna be so real, I don't think an AquRuby ending was ever something anybody on the series including Mengo ever took all that seriously as a direction the series was going to take. Despite what a lot of people will try and tell you, Ruby and her relationship with Aqua were just never really written remotely in the sort of way you would build up your endgame heroine. Prior to 123 it wasn't really something the series tabled in any meaningful way and even past 123, Ruby's apparent attraction to Aqua is largely just played as shallow brocon gag fodder. It's only when the manga talks about her love for Gorou that it takes her remotely seriously and even then that's dropped like a rock past 150 and never addressed again. The biggest red flag for me though is that the series never actually addresses the concept of incest in the context of Aqua and Ruby's relationship. It is the one big major roadblock to a hypothetical romance between them but the roadblock that is actually, textually floated by the narrative is Gorou and Sarina's past life age gap which is, as Ruby repeatedly asserts, no longer an issue. It's honestly bizarre to see a series have a whole ass subplot about a character falling in love with their blood related twin and pursuing it to the point of forcing a kiss on them and just... never ever address the concept of incest??? It ends up feeling kind of deliberate - like, Akasaka knew that the second the obstacle that is the social taboo of incest came up on-panel it would be the death knell for being able to shiptease AquRuby (and thus, get clicks and attention from hyping it up for better or worse). So we get the... whatever the hell he was cooking that happened on page.
[In response to a comment asserting that Ruby was "absolutely written as the main heroine" as refutation to the above;]
When I say that Ruby was not built up as the main/endgame heroine, I mean moreso in the sense that for over half of the manga, she and Aqua just... don't really have a relationship that is given weight and consequence in the story in comparison to their individual relationships to the other characters. Even before the story was seriously teasing the idea of a romance between them this was always a point of critique in the fandom - hell, if you go back and read comments on it from around 2022 onwards, Ruby's sidelining and the lack of meat to her and Aqua's relationship is always something people have (imo, rightfully) had issue with. And like, sure, maybe Akasaka just wanted her status as the final/true heroine to be a surprise but even if that's what he was going for, there were tons of opportunities in the first 120+ chapters of the manga to properly sow those seeds. I know this is The low hanging fruit to point at and I know we're all aware that Aka deliberately orchestrated this moment to make sure Aqua and Ruby wouldn't discover each other's past identities before he decided it wanted to happen, but it's still characterization that Aka chose to put on the page and informs Aqua's character - Akane and Ruby found a literal dead body and instead of checking in on his sister, Aqua chose to spend time with (and kiss!) Akane. It would've been extremely easy to include Ruby more prominently in moments like chapter 68 when Aqua thinks about living a normal life free of revenge, or when Gorou confronts him in 65 about his 'happy life filled with love'. Even in the anime which makes a point of emphasizing Ruby more in Aqua's 'happy memory' montage from chapter 50's material fails to do this. Or hell, maybe even have it be a point of conflict during the AquAka 'real dating' period, that he ends up prioritizing Ruby more than Akane to a degree that it causes conflict in the relationship and clearly betrays where his real feelings lie. But none of that really happens. Hell, even after 123, Aqua and Ruby still barely interact and all the newfound intensity in that relationship comes primarily from Ruby doing brocon gag bits every time they make eye contact. Even the kiss is difficult to really take seriously because it has absolutely zero impact on Aqua and Ruby both individually and as a duo. It does not affect any change in the series whatsoever to the point where I legit don't even know whether it's been retconned out of continuity or not. That just doesn't feel to me like a 'main heroine' whose feelings and relationship to the main character are being taken seriously by the author. That's why the whole "btw i was reincarnated to be ruby's attack dog them kms" resolution at the end of the series feels so jarring and would have done with or without any AquRuby ship teasing. It was the story trying to cash cheques vis-a-vis the twins' relationship it hadn't bothered to write.
#oshi no ko#oshi no posting#onk spoilers#onk asks#sorry this ended up being mostly aquruby litigation again#i just had it on the brain
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VAMPIRE FIC VAMPIRE FIC!!!
it’s technically CoD Ghost, but it only mentions it a few times and honestly its not very characteristic to him. i just needed a character and didn’t want to use an oc
Tags/Warnings: Vampire x human, blood sucking/feeding, friends to lovers?? maybe?? not technically smut but it certainly feels like it, soft dom x whiney bottom, fem!reader, praise and aftercare
“You know you’re hungry” Simon walks up to me, already baring his neck. I’ve learned a long, long time ago not to resist when it comes to him. I need blood, he wants to give me his, and that’s all we are. Vampire and blood bag. Nothing else. There’s no feelings whatsoever, not when he lets out the tiniest whines at the initial bite, or when he has the sweetest blood i’ve ever tasted, or when he’s just as desperate as i am. It’s purely transactional.
Growling lightly, I smirk and push him onto the nearby couch, straddling him and gently moving his hair out of the way. He gasps softly and immediately moves his hands to my hips, holding me in place.
“God, you always know exactly when I'm hungry. how do you do it?” i purr, playing with his hair more
“You- you have a specific look about you when you’re hungry. You’re paler and more irritable” He says, already a bit breathless
“Is that so?” I unbutton the first button of his shirt, giving me more room to bite. “You pay attention to me often, do you?” i raise an eyebrow and grin
“You make it hard not to” he replies a bit shakily, i just smirk and rub my thumb over his jugular, pressing lightly and giggling at the small whine he lets out.
“You ready? Need anything before I start?” I ask quietly, dragging my nail along his neck, leaving a beautiful pink line. It definitely pays off to have long nails sometimes.
“No. I’m ready.” he says quickly, it’s almost desperate, causing me to chuckle.
“Good” I purr, lowering my head to his neck and feeling his pulse on my lips. God, it drives me insane. I open my mouth and sink my fangs into his neck, just an inch away from the jugular. Close enough to give me a steady flow and make it hurt, but gentle enough to be safe and keep him from squirming too much. While it is fun when he squirms, it’s more efficient if I can keep him still. I smile at the gasp and whine he lets out. It never gets old.
“So good” I murmur against his skin, lapping up the blood seeping from the wound. The second it hits my tongue, I let out a soft moan and squeeze my eyes shut. Prepackaged blood bags are good, but nothing tops the real thing. Fresh blood is so… intoxicating. the warm, coppery flavour and feeling and God, the fucking texture, it makes it hard to stay in control.
His whining and whimpering only increases when i suck directly from the wound. He grabs my thigh and squeezes, digging his nails into the flesh, but I don't mind. I’m biting and drinking his blood, it’s only fair if he scratches me up a bit. Plus, I’d be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it.
I keep sucking until the bleeding slows enough, about two minutes. Two minutes of pure bliss. On both ends. As soon as I pull back, I press a piece of gauze to his neck and caress his cheek gently. He lets out a small breath and collapses fully onto the couch. He’s so woozy, barely lucid. God, I love when he gets like this. Delirious and dizzy, head spinning and vision blurring, all because of me. It’s one hell of a drug. He turns his head so slowly towards me with half lidded eyes and parted lips. I grin and finish bandaging his wound.
“You did so good for me” I whisper “Barley even squirmed” he smiles lightly and my heart warms up. He's so adorable when I drink his blood. No. Just friends. I’d even say predator and prey. Prey that wants to get caught because he enjoys being bit, and predator who’s gentle so as not to hurt the prey.
Shaking the thoughts away, I grab a water bottle and press it to his lips.
“Drink. Get your fluids up” I say gently, smiling when he drinks half the bottle without protest. The urge to praise him only grows.
“You feel ok? Dizzy or nauseous at all?”
When he doesn’t respond, just nods softly, i grab his chin and pull him closer to me
“You need to answer me, Simon. Words.” i say sharply and his eyes flutter open. His pupils are the size of saucers.
“i’m g..good” he whispers shakily and i smile and let go of his chin
“Dizzy? Nauseous?” I raise an eyebrow
“N..no” his voice is barely a whisper, and shaking like hell, but it’s a response
“Good..” I purr, caressing his cheek again.
When I go to stand up, he weakly grabs my arm. Even I can’t deny how warm it makes me feel.
“Yes?” I whisper, my voice admittedly shakier than I intended.
“Stay?” he whispers in that whiny, soft voice that makes my heart twist. I can’t deny him that, not when he used his words so well.
��Yeah. I’ll stay” I say a bit too quickly. The relief on his face is enough to make anyone melt and apparently, vampires are no exception.
“Let me grab you a snack, get some more protein in you” I stand up from his lap and try to ignore the pang in my heart when he whimpers at the loss of contact. Why must he make me… feel?
I return with a few granola bars and sit next to him, still draping my legs over him. He instinctively holds onto them, causing me to shake my head and close my eyes.
“Here. This has some protein and sugar. It should help with the wooziness” I open the granola bar and hold it up to him, nearly squealing at the adorable, tiny bites he takes. The fact that I did this to him. I am able to turn a usually ruthless, merciless soldier into a puddle of bliss and whimpers with just a small bite. I don’t know how much longer I can't deny it.
“You did so good” i purr before i can stop myself, petting his hair gently
“My pretty little blood bag, aren’t you?”
#vampire#vampire feeding#simon ghost riley#cod ghosts#blood blood gallons of the stuff#sorry that songs stuck in my head#simon riley x reader#simon riley x f!reader
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A/N: Some Stoncy fluff, set after season 2.
Jonathan leaned against the wall next to Will's bedroom, his arms crossed over his chest. Nancy popped up next to him.
"What are you doing?" She asked in amusement.
"Nothing," he said casually.
"It doesn't look like nothing to me," she said.
"I just - I just want to know what Will needs to talk about with Steve that he can't talk about with me," Jonathan pouted.
"So, you're spying on your little brother and our boyfriend?" Nancy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. . .yeah, okay, so I am," he said.
"Did you ever think that he's trying to get to know Steve because he knows how much his brother, who he loves dearly, loves this guy?" Nancy asked.
"The thought has crossed my mind," Jonathan replied.
"Jon - ," Nancy started to say.
"Shh!" Jonathan said, and she glared at him.
Luckily, Joyce stepped in at that moment before Nancy could draw blood.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"Your eldest is spying on his little brother," Nancy said.
"Jonathan!" Joyce scolded.
Joyce was about to lecture Jonathan when Will mentioned her and she paused.
"I don't know, Steve, what if I hurt mom's feelings?" Will asked.
"I don't know, it seems like your mom is the kind of mom who'd be happy with whatever makes you happy," Steve said. "So, if you say you don't like her bowl cuts, she'll gladly let you do whatever you want with it. It's your hair. . .although, technically, she did help make it."
"Ew! Don't say that!" Will exclaimed and then laughed.
"What?! You have learned about that, haven't you?" Steve asked.
"Yes, Steve, but some people don't like to be reminded how they came into this world," Will said.
"Look, it's important to have your hair the way you want it because it's on top of your head, and that's where your personality is. You want it to tell a story that feels right to you," Steve said. "Once you start feeling that, you'll also feel a confidence that you never had before and then other people start noticing that."
"That - that makes sense," Will said.
"Your mom will love you no matter what even if you turn into a worm," Steve said.
"What?!" Will laughed. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You never think about that? Like, would they still love me if I turned into a worm or a spider or a slug?" Steve asked.
"Mom doesn't like slugs," Will said.
"Well, she would definitely still love you if you were a slug," Steve said. "She would get rid of all the salt in the house."
"What about your mom?" Will asked.
"She doesn't like me now," Steve scoffed. "I mean, there's just some things specifically that she doesn't like about me."
"Oh. . .because of Jonathan?" Will asked.
"You're lucky. . .you can be honest with your mom about whatever you want, and she'll still love you," Steve said. "Anyway, come on, go through these magazines and see what hairstyle you like."
"Not that one!" Will exclaimed.
"Ew, yeah, definitely not," Steve said.
"Are we going to pretend like we're not being spied on, right now?" Will asked.
"Well, I was waiting for them to come on out on their own," Steve said and Will laughed.
Nancy, Jonathan, and Joyce moved into the room, looking rather sheepish.
"We didn't intend to spy," Joyce said.
"Yeah, we know. We heard Jonathan being all pouty," Steve said, grinning.
"Sorry, mom," Will said.
"Oh, honey, Steve’s right. You shouldn't be afraid of being honest with me," Joyce said. "And thank you, Steve. . .you guys have a good one."
"We do," Nancy smiled.
Steve looked surprised when Joyce hugged him tightly before sitting down next to Will.
"What do you like so far?" Joyce asked Will as she picked up a magazine.
Nancy and Jonathan sat on either side of Steve, grabbing a magazine of their own.
"I'm torn between these two," Will said.
"You never said your parents had a problem with me," Jonathan said to Steve.
"Not with you specifically," Steve said.
"Because I'm a guy?" He asked.
"Yeah," Steve said, looking at the magazine in front of him.
"I'm sorry," Jonathan said softly.
"They're idiots," he shrugged.
"Doesn't mean it still doesn't suck," Nancy said.
"I'm surrounded by better people," Steve grinned.
Jonathan and Nancy pressed their cheeks against his shoulder.
"Why do you have so many magazines about hair?" Jonathan asked.
"Something else I didn't tell you. . .I kind of want to be a hair stylist," Steve said, blushing.
"You would be good at that!" Will exclaimed. "This one!"
"Good choice," Joyce said.
"Mom, you don't mind if Steve cuts my hair, do you?" Will asked.
"Not at all," Joyce said and smiled at Steve.
Jonathan grinned and squeezed his boyfriend's arm. Yeah, it really needed to be Steve for this talk. Jonathan never really cared about his hair, but he knew it bothered his brother, and he loved that Steve could be there for him. He never had anything to worry about. He spent so much time 'hating' Steve, but he really did fit right into his life. He shared a look with Nancy. Their lives.
#stranger things#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler x steve harrington#stancy#nancy wheeler x jonathan byers#jancy#steve harrington x jonathan byers#stonathan#nancy wheeler x steve harrington x jonathan byers#stoncy#monster hunting trio#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual jonathan byers#pansexual nancy wheeler#joyce byers#will byers#stranger things ficlet#stoncy fluff#rueleigh writes#rueleigh's thoughts
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Very interesting question. Your bar for "writing off" a character is your own -- maybe if you think that a specific season's writing can be noticeably different to the point where a character's actions carry less judgement, certainly a different writing team's would function similarly, so why not "write off" the Hageman Bros's Dareth while keeping Bragi's Dareth? If Doc and Kevin bring him back technically that's a "new" character, at least to the extent that S6 Dareth can be viewed as distinct from his other appearances. Not sure how much I agree with this idea but just throwing it out there.
Will object to placing three of the Ninja on the same bar as Dareth both mischaracterization and sexism-wise (I assume Jay, Cole, and Lloyd). Certainly Jay is pretty sexist in Skybound but I don't think this is a mischaracterization, just an escalation of his behavior since S3. The point of his arc is for him to learn why what he was doing was wrong (as to whether Skybound really accomplishes that is another question). And despite all this he still objects to Dareth's behavior in "Infamous."
Cole makes a sexist joke that I would agree is... different than his pre-established character (although I don't think there's much in previous seasons to imply he's a big feminist). He then mostly backs down after Nya criticizes him. Lloyd laughs at Cole's joke and also backs down after a glare from Nya. Lloyd is probably a year or two removed from being a "no girls allowed in my tree house" ten year old so I still wouldn't call this out of character as much as it is a relapse. Lloyd also sticks up for Nya against Dareth in "Infamous."
Fundamentally I don't think Cole's (still sexist and bad!) joke is on par with Dareth physically excluding Nya from the other Ninja, wanting her to run segments on "teaching girls how to apply makeup" and "how to cook", and accusing her of hurting the Ninja's image solely because of her gender. He loudly objects to the statement, "There's no reason she should be treated differently"! IMO this is clearly categorically worse than what the Ninja do.
basically, if you don't want to write off Dareth, don't. But I personally wouldn't use Skybound's other writing choices as an excuse to do so.
as a side thing, I'm mixed on the whole "they wouldn't say that" idea. On one hand, if a character says something, clearly that refutes the idea that they wouldn't say it. On the other, characters aren't real, bad writing exists, etc. My bar tends to be if a character does something that directly contradicts a prior statement or action (without cause for such a change), then you've got bad writing. even more so if they're contradicting a core character trait or repeated pattern of behavior (plus that earlier behavior would presumably have more weight in whatever moral judgement I have of them as a character). However, if a character does something unexpected or new that doesn't contradict established behavior, then that's who that character is (at least in that moment). In this case, while Dareth isn't sexist to the degree he was in Skybound in other seasons, he also never indicates that he wouldn't be sexist (his refusal to accept a no from Gayle Gossip as expressed in DotD actually gives more evidence to the idea that he is). Thus I wouldn't call it out of character or "he wouldn't say that" because a) he did and b) he never says anything to indicate he wouldn't have.
The thing about Dareth as a character is I can't Quite see myself writing him off completely? Like his stuff in Skybound Was bad it was pretty awful, but they also had like three of the guys on the main ninja team act horrifically bad to Nya for no reason. Neither Dareth nor any of the ninja acted anything quite like they did in Skybound before or after it??? So I don't rlly Think I can write Dareth off as a sexist piece of shit for season 6? Like yeah he was Awful there but I don't know how extreme I'm willing to go there with him...
#feel free to share ur opinion tho lol .#<- this is all just my opinion ofc#take it or leave it#most of the time when I respond to posts it's because I disagree -- I should change that#just offering a different take#ninjago#ninjago dareth#ninjago nya#ninjago jay#ninjago cole#ninjago lloyd
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I just found out that David X Cohen did a reddit AMA. Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1hgdrt/i_am_david_x_cohen_head_writer_on_futurama_ama/
Ramble under the readmore.
One of the questions asked was if there was an episode he wished he could improve. To my surprise he mentioned “In-a-Gadda-Da-Leela”.
It’s a small thing, but I’m glad one of the writers (in fact, the head writer) is able to look back, spot the issues an episode has and admit to them. Still doesn’t excuse the fact that the episode was written that way in the first place.
But it does help me feel a little better seeing this sort of acknowledgement from someone so pivotal to the show. Gives me a bit more hope about the revival. (Still apprehensive about the episode titled “Zapp gets cancelled” because cancel culture isn’t really something cishet white dudes are good at being normal about. Then again the episode hasn’t even come out yet. Maybe the title is just there to throw everyone off).
#futurama#behind the scenes#rambles#ask to tag#I did find Choen saying 'may have hurt Zapp's character' pretty funny#because - as someone mentioned in reply to him - Zapp was always kinda rapey#he always made those kind of jokes#even if he TECHNICALLY never did anything#he probably would have given the chance#this is bleak.#Anyway.#I think I do kinda get what Cohen means though.#Zapp could have been a very amusing character.#Billy West's voice for him is amazing.#If he was merely an incompetent captain who mispronounced champagne he'd be fine.#It's a shame that he's also icky.#So in that sense yeah I do think it hurts Zapp's character.#Not something I think about often in regards to In-a-Gadda-Da-Leela#because normally with that episode I'm focussed on how awful it is for Leela.#(And also because I think the damage to Zapp's character was done long before)#(It's just that his ickiness is brought into the spotlight in that episode. Making it the go-to example if someone asks why I dislike Zapp).#I just think Cohen should have taken out the 'may have' in his statement.#It's like seeing someone with a severe spinal fracture and saying they 'may need medical attention'.#That kind of funny.
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In the Ichigo & Starrk time travel 'verse I'm just picturing Ichigo registering for the academy like "I'm Ichigo. From the rukongai. No last name" and then kaien popping up like "he's a Shiba!!!" And the people there looking at each other and whispering like "ohhhh he wants to be independent and not rely on his family name!! How sweet!!!" and then Ichigo just sighing. XD
LMAO with his luck, this is exactly what happened.
Meanwhile Starrk's over there in the corner filling out his application forms and thanking every god he wants to beat up I find it rly funny to imagine he has this passive-aggressive grudge against Mimihagi for a variety of reasons that he in no way, shape, or form resembles any of the five big clans. But it would also be really funny to me if people at the admin desk looked at him, and then looked twice, and then looked thrice, and then be like "You sure you're not a Kyouraku?", because let's face it, he really does look a bit like Shunsui. Like it's not immediately noticeable the way Ichigo is with the Shibas, but if Starrk and Shunsui showed up and claimed they were blood-related, probably no one would doubt it.
And at any other time, people might not think of the possibility, but there just so happens to be a Kyouraku relative - even if she's just a bastard - attending the Academy at the moment, and all the teachers and staff are always made aware of any clan children in their halls. The Kyouraku Family isn't one of the Big Five, they're a Lower Noble House and also not a Shinigami-oriented clan, more politicians and scholars and even artisans than soldiers, but they're old and prestigious and the highest-ranked out of all the Lower Noble Houses, so the Academy paid attention when one of them decided to become a Shinigami for the first time in centuries. She ends up being a disappointment with none of her cousin's talent or charisma or wit, and the Eighth Division captain hasn't pushed hard enough for them to really show her any favouritism, but they've still kept an eye on her to make sure the bullying doesn't get too bad and she doesn't fall too far behind, lest they bring her family's wrath down on them, because it doesn't seem like most of her clan cares about her but who even knows with nobles and the things that set off their sense of pride.
But that means Starrk's looks immediately ring a few bells when he shows up. Of course, he denies it; unlike Ichigo, he really doesn't have any relation to the Kyourakus, although even back in their own timeline, a few people had made that mistake when they didn't know he was a Hollow, had thought he was some Kyouraku relative Shunsui had dug up to help out, because not everyone who goes through the Academy becomes a Shinigami, sometimes they're clan members who go home afterwards to guard the family and continue their own training there, plus with Starrk's strength and skill set - 1) powerful, and 2) sharing quite a few similarities to Shunsui's so it's not even just their looks - it had actually been more far-fetched to a lot of people for him to have just been some random nobody than to be a member of this powerful clan.
But no, no blood relation, just a quirk of fate. Still, the Academy notes his name down and makes sure to keep more tabs on his progress than they would an average Rukongai student. And alright, the teachers can be overly biased or overly indifferent depending on the student but they're not actually stupid, and yeah, for a while, it's Shiba Ichigo who takes up all their attention because Ichigo blows all the other students out of the water and skyrockets straight up to a category of genius nobody's ever seen before, even more impressive than his lieutenant cousin and slated to graduate in a year. It helps (Ichigo: "No it fucking doesn't.") that Kaien is constantly buzzing around making sure Ichigo is treated like a prince befitting of a Great Noble House so no one dares make his life difficult. Well, Koyonagi would probably dare, but fortunately (Ichigo: "No it fucking isn't."), he likes Ichigo enough to not hamper him in any way, even if he does come up with all sorts of annoying tasks to heap on Ichigo "for extra credit" (Ichigo: "For his own entertainment.").
Starrk in the meantime is about as entertained by all this as a passively suicidal grieving widow war vet can get, and he makes no effort to hide it every time Ichigo comes to hide in his room and bitch to him about it, because really, it's partly the kid's own fault for not knowing subtlety even if it shoots him in the face. It's harmless enough anyway so long as Ichigo doesn't stand out more than he already has, so Starrk doesn't see a problem with kicking back and enjoying the show. Right up until the novelty of a prodigal Shiba starts wearing off on the Academy teachers because it's not like they've never seen geniuses before even if this one is a little more unique. So the turn their attentions elsewhere and suddenly realize that the guy who might be another bastard Kyouraku and spends more time asleep than awake have some really interesting grades when they look at them altogether at the end of term. Average in everything—so average it's suspicious, meaning Starrk either has the weirdest luck in the universe or he's literally calculating everything he's doing in class to make sure he always falls within a very specific range. Koyonagi had already noticed of course, and he's checked all the boxes that would jump Starrk up to sixth year starting next semester, but the other teachers catch on quickly enough too, and then they also start taking a fourth and fifth look at him.
Now it's Ichigo's turn to be Very Amused. Shouldn't have laughed at his suffering, huh? Karma's a real bitch.
Starrk is Not Amused, but also he can be just as stubborn as Ichigo, even if it's in the opposite direction. Ichigo very stubbornly isn't willing to be held back, he can do more as an official member of the Gotei, and slogging through six years at the Academy is just wasting time. If he has to graduate in the least amount of time possible and thereby be seen as a genius anyway, he might as well put himself out of his misery early and get that out of the way right off the bat. At least then, by the time he graduates, some of the shine will have hopefully worn off for the masses after they've gotten used to him.
Likewise, Starrk very stubbornly isn't willing to be anyone's show pony. Ichigo isn't either, but Ichigo's solution is to just ignore the fact that he sort of is, for the sake of exempting himself from fatal boredom. In contrast, Starrk 100% doesn't mind going to lectures when nobody can stop him from sleeping through them anyway, and he always turns in his homework on time and never fails his tests either so the teachers can't complain. The training sessions in the practical courses are more annoying but he doesn't usually have to do much there either, especially once he's jumped to the sixth-year courses where the teachers teach less and more often pair them up for spars or take them to fight very low-level Hollows they've captured instead. And since he's been noticed now, he doesn't care about maintaining average scores anymore because once you finish your spar or kill your assigned Hollow, you get to sit around and do nothing until everybody else is done, which suits Starrk just fine.
Koyonagi calls him to his office a couple more times, but as Starrk expects, the man grows increasingly bored with Starrk's lack of a reaction to anything he says. He even pokes at him from the "bastard Kyouraku abandoned in the Rukongai" angle, which almost makes Starrk laugh, because from a hierarchical standpoint, and to all these proudly intolerant Shinigami, even an unwanted bastard disowned from a noble clan would already be several steps up from what Starrk actually is.
There's no substance to this insult anyway, because Starrk really isn't a Kyouraku, and what does a Hollow care about noble blood or lack thereof? Koyonagi takes his shot in the dark and misses, and maybe he sees the amused pity that even Starrk can't quite hide this time, because the man's own eyes go flat with displeasure, for once probably aimed more at himself than Starrk because men like Koyonagi don't like making such crude mistakes. He dismisses Starrk and never calls him back again, although Starrk thinks that might have something to do with Ichigo, who hasn't been best pleased for a while now about Koyonagi harassing Starrk in a way that's completely different from his own harassment, and everyone knows - or will soon discover once again - that it's all fun and games until Ichigo puts his foot down. Either way, Koyonagi gives up trying to make Starrk prey, and Starrk chats his way past the Academy chefs one evening to make a spicy mentaiko udon just for Ichigo as thanks.
So in the end, they both think that's the end of that. Ichigo still has his fair share of secret admirers and envious onlookers and background sycophants looking for an easy ride into the Gotei, but his prickly disposition wards off most of them, and Starrk's flat, indifferent gaze from over Ichigo's shoulder - like he could bury you tomorrow and forget you ever existed the moment it's done - scares away the rest.
And Starrk is likewise acknowledged as another genius, but he's so unmotivated about doing anything with that genius that most of the other students don't really notice, and it's hard for even the teachers to make a big deal out of it. Eventually, they stop trying to galvanize him into displaying more of his abilities, if only to catch a squad's attention, and just let him do what he wants. Geniuses, what can you do? Each one is quirkier than the last.
So that's the end of that.
Except-
Quietly, in the background, possibly Koyonagi's roundabout way of revenge, possibly just the Shinigami's inexplicable attachment to all things bloodlines and pedigrees, the Academy comes to the enlightened conclusion that Starrk must be a Kyouraku. Maybe a branch member who doesn't want attention - seems very Starrk - or he really had been disowned, or there's some other circumstance they're not aware of, but nobility is full of drama so it could be anything. Whatever it is, they collectively agree that this assumption must be true, and over the course of the passing months, it becomes an acknowledged fact that nobody really talks about.
Starrk is lazy, but he's not unpleasant to be around. Who doesn't like an intelligent student? He's also polite, always patient when teachers flag him down for yet another chat despite refusing all opportunities to show off a little, and the Academy chefs adore him because that man can cook - his future wife will be very lucky - and he always has time to trade recipes with them. And on the occasions where some of the youngest students who'd shared classes with Starrk back in the first term approach him with questions on one subject or another, Starrk would frown and sigh a lot, but he would also sit down and answer them one by one, indulgent in a way people wouldn't expect just by looking at him.
If he really is a disowned bastard, well, privately they think that's the Kyourakus' loss, but it also means that it's probably a pretty sensitive topic to Starrk, as these things tend to be, so it's better not to throw it in his face. They're not Koyonagi after all.
(They don't understand for quite a while to come why Koyonagi always rolls his eyes and leaves the room whenever they talk about it amongst themselves.)
To be fair, they really can't be wholly blamed for coming to this conclusion despite all lack of solid evidence and testimony.
First of all, Starrk really does share a physical likeness with the Gotei 13's very well-known Eighth Division captain. Their builds are different - one broad, the other lean - but they're both tall with high cheekbones, and they share the same colouring, grey eyes and brown hair and light skin. In that, Fujiwara's the exact same way, and she is a Kyouraku branch member. It's just even more obvious with Starrk because he's male, plus a few of the Academy teachers have been around long enough to still remember Shunsui before he'd grown his hair out, and Starrk resembles that version even more.
Secondly, and this was less conspicuous, but the teachers had even dug out some of Kyouraku Shunsui's very old, very dusty papers from his Academy days for comparison.
In terms of personality, the two are almost complete opposites. One flamboyant, the other solemn. One outgoing, the other reserved. One a flirt who socializes enough for ten, the other would rather stay in bed and sleep the day away. It's just that Starrk is surprisingly good with people when he tries, and some can recall that even Kyouraku Shunsui had had his moments of quiet contemplation, which only puts more stock in the familial tie theory.
But it's in terms of mindset that really drives it home for them, because when it comes to the way they look at the world, they sync up to an almost frightening degree.
They unearth the captain's old papers from the library archives, and it's been years, centuries, but Shinigami don't tend to change much. If anything, Kyouraku Shunsui’s essays read more immaturely than Starrk’s, but the foundational reasoning from both men is solid.
They review them, and then they look at Starrk's again, and Starrk might leave questions blank on homework and tests but he's never skimped on answers when he does turn them in, and a lot of those questions are essay topics - similar enough even between Kyouraku Shunsui's generation and the current one to make a fair comparison - about hypothetical situations on the battlefield, in a fight, if you meet an ally, if you meet an enemy, if you have to choose who to save, if you have to choose who to let die—what would you do?
The respective responses are evidently written by two different people, well-debated and well-presented, but at the same time, even hundreds of years apart, their opinions and strategies and perspectives and choices on almost every single topic are near-interchangeable.
(They can't have known that Starrk had spent seven years at Shunsui's side, watching him lead, watching him fight, watching him wage a war and command his soldiers and protect his people to the best of his ability... and ultimately fail. They can't have known that he'd spent one final year leading the gutted remains of a Gotei in Shunsui's name to the best of his own ability... and also fail in all the ways that had mattered. They can't have known that even before those years, the two of them had met across a battlefield and crossed minds as much as blades, and even then, they hadn't felt like strangers to each other.)
[AUTHOR INTERRUPTS TO SAY I actually didn't want to mention Starrk's Zanpakutou like this because I have a whole thing planned out for it, as in I was insane enough one day and spent an entire afternoon creating a Bankai for him, but I also think some of you guys have probably guessed at least a bit of what his Zanpakutou looks like since I've dropped a few hints in previous snippets, so whatever, I'll just confirm its sealed form now. I guess this officially makes this snippet not part of the AU though cuz I originally had him not revealing his Zanpakutou until like a year after he graduates, post-time travel reveal. And going forward, he'd be meeting Shunsui differently here since originally their first meeting is at one of Asuka's tutoring sessions. But whatever, you can just go with whichever version you like best. Anyway, let's get on with my increasingly off-topic snippet lmao, sorry Anon.]
And last but most definitely not least, even disregarding everything else, Starrk's Zanpakutou alone is simply a Glaringly Obvious Sign From The Heavens. It's not that people from the same family always share similar Zanpakutou, but it's not exactly uncommon either—just look at the Shibas, they all have elemental Zanpakutou, and the newest one will probably go the same way; the Kuchikis have katanas with identical guards and always a white hilt or sheath; and not a single member of the Feng family that's passed through the Academy has ever left with anything but a wakizashi.
It's especially hard not to make certain connections that lead to the most obvious conclusion when everybody knows that Kyouraku Shunsui is the only Shinigami in living memory to wield a Zanpakutou that exists as two separate blades in its sealed form.
And now there is another.
The first time Starrk had finally removed his Zanpakutou - his entire Zanpakutou - from that wooden case he always carries around over one shoulder for a Zanjutsu assessment compulsory for graduation, the entire room had first gone dead silent, then burst into an uproar. Thankfully, it was a private assessment so there'd only been Starrk and several teachers inside.
They'd all thought they'd seen his Zanpakutou before - after all, he has to use a weapon in his Zanjutsu classes - but apparently, he'd always only taken one blade out for training.
A katana and a wakizashi, a daishou pair, each with a pale gold hilt, a darker gold sheath, and a blue-grey rectangular guard decorated by a sun design. Almost exactly like Kyouraku Shunsui's tachi and wakizashi, with their dark blue hilts and gold rectangular guards decorated by cherry blossom petals.
The meaning of it all could not possibly be clearer. At this point, if they're not family, they would have to be the kind of soulmates you would only find in one of those ridiculously sappy unrealistic romance novels.
(They can't have known that sometimes fate likes its jokes a little too much, and its favourites have always been the butt of them.)
Miracle of miracles, the pseudo-secret of Starrk's Zanpakutou doesn't leak right away. Starrk obviously doesn't want the attention for one reason or another, and the teachers have no real cause to spread it around so they don't. For one, they like him enough to cater to his very simple wishes, and for another, this man is clearly going to be a very powerful Shinigami one day, very likely to snag a captaincy sooner or later, and every noble clan is the same—if Starrk really is disowned, once the Kyouraku Family gets wind of what he can do, he won't be for much longer. And on top of all that, Starrk seems to be friends with the Shibas' most recent pride and joy; that's a connection that will get him far even without his own clan's backing. The Academy doesn't have much to do with the goings-on in the Gotei 13 or the government or the courts of aristocracy, but there's no need to make enemies when they don't have to.
Then comes the day Kyouraku Shunsui himself comes around for a visit.
This in itself is not new. The only career Shinigami from the Kyouraku Family isn't one to throw his weight around too much the way a lot of the other clans like to do for their kin, but he still checks up on his cousin two or three times a year, which in their opinion is already pretty admirable considering Fujiwara is not only from about as distant a branch as one can get, but also illegitimate, out of favour with her clan, and... well, painfully average in a way that means they all have to wrack their brains for compliments every time the captain shows up to ask about her.
Fortunately, for the first time since he'd taken up a position at the school, Koyonagi had done them all a favour and assigned her a tutor capable of working miracles, and so they can very happily and very honestly tell Kyouraku Shunsui all about the leaps in progress Fujiwara has made over the past several months.
The captain listens with a smile that's equal parts amicable and unfathomable, nodding in all the right places. He thanks them for their hard work even as he rakes a discerning eye over them that has them all sweating internally, but at least he also seems willing enough to not make things difficult for them now that Fujiwara is thriving under Shiba Ichigo's protection.
And that should've been it. That would've been it if Akabane Shiina, head of the Kidou department and arguably Starrk's favourite because he actually stays awake in her classes - he's certainly her favourite if the way she gushes about his gloriously tricky projects to a very resentful audience in the staffroom is anything to go by - suddenly bursts out just as the captain is making to leave:
"Are you not going to ask about your other relative?" She demands, her voice gone strident with righteous indignation. "Is it because he really was disowned and cast out into the Rukongai? But he is still better than Fujiwara!"
Shiina has no eyes for anyone without talent in Kidou. She doesn't have a problem with Fujiwara, and in fact, out of the four combat forms, Fujiwara is best at Kidou, although that might not last with the way she's catching up in all the other fields under Shiba Ichigo's tutelage, and Shiba Ichigo is notoriously slow at Kidou so he can't teach her anything in that area. But even on her own, Fujiwara's competency in Kidou is enough to meet all graduation requirements, and she'd even done fairly well in the fourth-year course Shiina had taught last year, certainly better than all her other subjects. However, she doesn't have the kind of flair for it that Shiina values.
Starrk does. And Shiina apparently does not appreciate her favourite pupil being dismissed out of hand just because he's considered one step lower on the social ladder than Fujiwara. Sure, Starrk is far more talented than Fujiwara; he's the last person anybody needs to worry about when it comes to graduating. But that's just all the more reason he deserves at least passing acknowledgement from a captain. And yet Kyouraku Shunsui can show concern for a neglected bastard but not a disowned bastard? Don't make her laugh.
Her temper has always been a straightforward creature, and so she ignores her colleagues' frantic squinting and meets Kyouraku Shunsui's gaze head-on when he pauses and then turns back, except he looks... entirely puzzled.
"Other relative?" The man echoes, looking genuinely baffled. "Did my clan send another child to the Academy? Maa, I wasn't informed. And Asuka-chan hasn't mentioned anything to me either."
A moment of silence follows. Shiina glares suspiciously at the pink-clad captain, who waits her out with the same unflappable calm Starrk pulls out whenever Shiina gets too excited about a Kidou seal and babbles for half an hour straight.
And she's supposed to believe these two have no relation to each other?
"He is not a child," She finally says. She doesn't know how old Starrk is, but it's very obvious he has at least several hundred years under his belt. He makes her feel young sometimes, and she's almost four hundred years old. "He came here from the Rukongai, with Shiba Ichigo."
She watches the way Kyouraku's eyes flicker as he takes in this information, but he doesn't emote anything except mild curiosity.
"Ah, I think I've heard a few things about Ichigo-kun's companion," Kyouraku muses. "Coyote Starrk, wasn't it? Also slated to graduate by the end of the year? But I'm afraid my clan definitely doesn't have a branch family by that name."
Well obviously, if he'd been disowned. He'd probably picked it for himself.
Kyouraku smiles a bit at whatever expression has crossed Shiina's face. It should be a scathing one. It feels scathing.
"But now I'm curious," Kyouraku continues, one hand reaching up to tilt his hat up. "For everybody-" His gaze sweeps the room, making everyone straighten in their seats. "-to think he's related to me of all people—we must be very obviously alike in some way."
Shiina scoffs, unimpressed. In some way? Try in every way.
But, at least he hasn't been ignoring Starrk on purpose. Mentally, Shiina grudgingly returns the 50 points she'd docked from him earlier.
She's about to interrogate him about what he's going to do about his curiosity - so help her, if he finds out Starrk really is family, then lets Starrk know that he knows now, and then rejects him for being disowned, captain or no, she's going to make him pay - when one of her colleagues, Koyonagi's gopher actually, because the man himself couldn't be bothered to show up, so as always, he'd sent his nominal vice-department head, interrupts.
"Are you certain you’ve never met?" The man blurts out like he can’t help himself. Especially now that Shiina’s fielded the hard part, and Kyouraku hasn’t taken offense. "Surely you've discussed his essays at least!"
Kyouraku arches an eyebrow. "I can't say I have. But what makes you say that?"
The Zanjutsu teacher flounders. The sixth-year Philosophy teacher is less unprepared and simply pulls out a folder, only about a third full, but they still have a little over a month to go. At least it lets the teachers spread them out a bit instead of having to read them all at once at the end. It was the original reason for the meeting today before Kyouraku had dropped by—going through some of these papers while their workload is still relatively light.
There is an essay question assigned to every student at the beginning of their final year at the Academy. Unlike all other assignments, this one must be completed in order to graduate whether or not your grades are up to par. Students have the whole year to finish it, but it can be handed in anytime.
It's long been said that the the essay question is something Yamamoto Genryuusai himself had come up with, originally posed to his two personal students hundreds of years ago, and unlike all other topics where the details would at least be switched up from year to year, this one has never changed since it had first been included in the curriculum.
To defend honour or to protect life—which should a Shinigami of the Gotei 13 choose to uphold? Why? Which would you choose? Why?
There is actually no correct answer. So long as the paper is written with some thought put in, it’s an automatic pass. But every year without fail, the lieutenant of the First will come by and cart the whole pile away. Nobody can say for sure what happens to them.
Nevertheless, most students choose honour for both parts of the question. Whether they believe it or not, they at least know the politically correct answer, the safe one. Some of the more outspoken students - usually Rukon stock - might choose honour for the first part but argue life for the second part.
Kyouraku Shunsui had been the only one in Academy history to have chosen life for both parts, and now, Coyote Starrk and Shiba Ichigo have joined him.
Shiina watches as Kyouraku wanders back over to peer down at the two essays the Philosophy teacher lays out on the table. She watches as the captain smiles, appreciative and a little amused, as he scans Shiba Ichigo's paper—a fierce discourse on the importance of friends and family, of prioritizing comrades even if it means breaking the law, of doing right by them even if it means discarding the honour of the Gotei or your own honour as a Shinigami because there's no honour in abandoning your loved ones.
And then she watches his gaze move to the other paper, and she watches as his smile fades and his expression goes still. His hand comes up again to tug down the brim of his hat but he never looks up from the essay—a succinct dissertation on doing everything possible to preserve the lives of those in your care, because the duty of a Shinigami to the Gotei 13 is first and foremost to protect the people who depend on them, to shield the world they all reside in, to stand between danger and the realms they have been charged with safeguarding.
—What does honour matter when you cannot protect what you have sworn to protect?
—When you make the choice to step on a battlefield, you are choosing to do all in your power to seize victory, because anything less is an insult to those who have placed their trust in you, a threat to those who rely on you, and a broken oath to those you gave your word to protect.
—When you make the choice to kill, because taking a life is in itself an evil act, you are choosing to carry the necessary sins that will be demanded of you in battle so that others will not have to.
—When you make the choice to protect, you are choosing to discard your honour, because honour will not protect your people. It will not protect the world. It will not protect anything save your own sense of righteousness, and what is that worth if all you care for is gone?
—To be a Shinigami means to shoulder the weight of countless souls. In essence, it is a promise to protect life to the very end, and if honour is the cost, then it is a small price to pay.
Shiina has read Starrk's paper several times already. She had even made her own copy.
She thinks he will make an exceptional Shinigami.
Nobody says a word even after enough time has passed for Kyouraku to have read the paper twice over. What little Shiina can still see of his shadowed face is utterly inscrutable.
When he finally stirs, straightening up to look around, there's something new in his eyes, some emotion Shiina can't place that remains even as he murmurs, "I don't suppose you know where-"
He stops when - as if on cue - a familiar reiatsu signature in the distance rounds the corner of the hallway leading to this room.
It isn't Starrk's reiatsu. He's hard to sense on a good day. But everyone has felt Shiba Ichigo's reiatsu at least once. Boy isn't subtle. He has the skill to hide most of it, but spikes of emotion or even just when he's distracted can bring it out sometimes, and his reiatsu - like that first shocking plunge into ice water that robs you of all breath right before any other sensation hits - isn't one people tend to forget.
And where Shiba Ichigo goes, more often than not, Starrk is there as well.
Shiina checks the time. Classes are out. It's Friday. Chances are good they're together.
Several feet beyond the door, the reiatsu signature comes to an abrupt halt. A few seconds pass, two muffled voices murmur something back and forth, and then footsteps resume, heavier this time, before three brisk knocks are heard.
The head of administration - the one with the highest rank in the room, bar the Shinigami captain - clears his throat, glances at her glower, glances at Kyouraku's perfectly genial expression, and then calls out like a coward, "Come in!"
The door swings open, Shiba Ichigo stalks in, and sure enough, Coyote Starrk shuffles in after him, hands in his pockets, and his bag and the wooden case containing his Zanpakutou slung over one shoulder. His face is so impassive it could've been carved out of marble.
Shiina docks 100 points from everyone in the room. Except Starrk of course.
But even she can't help staring at this meeting that somehow feels like it's been a long time coming.
Starrk's gaze rises. Kyouraku's gaze jumps straight past Ichigo. Their eyes meet, and for just a moment, all of time seems to shudder to a halt.
Silence stretches... and snaps.
"Hey, what's everyone staring at?" Ichigo cuts in irritably, waving the sheaf of papers he's holding in one hand. "We're supposed to hand in our waivers for the assessment on Monday, right? What's the hold up?"
He shoots a look to his left where Starrk and Kyouraku are still standing there staring at each other like the rest of the world has ceased to exist. He's already scowling, but he scowls even harder at the sight.
"Good afternoon, Kyouraku-taichou," He greets very pointedly.
Kyouraku blinks, and Starrk turns away, busying himself with digging out his own papers from his bag. The moment passes, and Kyouraku turns to Ichigo as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, "Ichigo-kun, what a coincidence. What are you here for?"
Ichigo's gaze bobs between Kyouraku and Starrk again before he shakes the papers in his hand once more. "Starrk-san and I have our second Hohou assessment on Monday. It's the one where they drop us off in an arena full of Hollows, and we have to get out using only Hohou. But we have to assure the school we won't blame them if we get killed, so-"
He brandishes the waivers again and finally looks back at the teachers in the room. "I actually don't know why we have to do this. I asked Matsumoto, and she said she doesn't have to fill out any of this stuff."
The admin head coughs delicately. "It's for clan members, Shiba-san."
Three things happen at once:
Shiba Ichigo, predictably at this point, snaps, "I'm not a clan member!"
Coyote Starrk stops halfway through pulling out his own waivers.
And Kyouraku Shunsui goes back to staring at Starrk, although Shiina thinks he doesn't quite know he's doing it so blatantly.
"Shiba-san, your cousin has already had your name changed to indicate official entry into the clan," The admin head says placatingly. "And he assured us that it was with your approval."
Ichigo glares, clearly all set to spend the next hour fighting this new information tooth and nail. "That doesn't mean-"
"Ichigo," Starrk finally speaks up, but he doesn't say more than that. It doesn't seem like he needs to though because Ichigo breaks off, still scowling, but he also glances back at Starrk, who only arches an eyebrow in return.
Ichigo grumbles something under his breath before slapping his papers down on the desk in front of the admin head. "Fine, whatever, I'll go beat him up later. Starrk-san?"
Starrk meanders over, his own waivers already tucked away again. There's a slight slouch to his frame, his gloved hands are back in his pockets, and he doesn't loom, even stopping a foot behind Ichigo, but when he turns his attention on the admin head, the man almost visibly squirms under that blue-grey gaze.
"I'm not from a clan," He says mildly.
As one, the entire room sans the students and the Shinigami captain turn to look at said captain. A moment later, even the students turn to follow their line of sight.
Kyouraku stares back. Or rather, he meets Starrk's gaze again, dark and intent, searching.
Ichigo snorts. The tension breaks.
"This again?" Ichigo glances at Starrk again. "I thought that rumour went away months ago."
"I thought so too," Starrk agrees in bland tones. He looks from one teacher to the next, and even Shiina ducks her head a little when his gaze sweeps over her.
Another beat of silence ensues before it's Starrk's turn to heave a sigh.
"I'm not from a clan," He repeats in that quietly implacable way of his, and even though there's nothing threatening about him, not in his voice, not on his face, not in his posture, not even in his reiatsu, something in their hindbrains stills like cornered prey anyway.
"I am not a branch member," Starrk continues without much inflection. "Or an illegitimate child, I have never been disowned, and whatever else your... very healthy imagination has come up with," For a split second, he looks almost amused. "I can assure you, I am not that either."
He stops. He needn't have gone on because Shiina definitely believes him this time, or at the very least, she believes he genuinely believes he isn't a Kyouraku.
Except then Starrk also turns to the side where Kyouraku is observing everything in silence. Grey meets grey once more.
"This Taichou-san," Starrk says, looking at the captain in question. His face is unreadable. "Is Kyouraku Shunsui of the Eighth Division, right? Then he should be able to confirm—I am not a part of his clan."
Another moment of silence passes. Shiina catches the way Ichigo's expression has gone grim, although for what reason, she doesn't know.
There's been something off about this whole situation from the start. Why those two couldn't have gone away and come back later is beyond her. They'd clearly sensed Kyouraku inside even before knocking.
"It's true, as far as I'm aware, we really aren't related," Kyouraku says after a few seconds of studying Starrk some more. His eyes don't move away even as he speaks, and his tone is... strangely gentle. "And this should be our first time meeting."
Starrk's gaze slides away at almost the exact same time Ichigo reaches out and snags the sleeve of Starrk's Shihakushou, tugging him forward and around, which just so happens to plant him between Starrk and Kyouraku.
"So is there anything else?" Ichigo says loudly. "Or can we go?"
There's a moment where most of the teachers seem to have forgotten why they're there in the first place. Shiina huffs and decisively takes over.
If she could have her way, she would've already ejected Kyouraku from the room. Maybe they really aren't blood-related - what are the odds though? - but she's pretty sure there's something going on between them anyway. Them and Ichigo.
Whatever, it's not her business. Since both parties have said so, everyone else will just have to accept it.
But now that they've reached this point...
"Come here, I need to tag your Zanpakutou," She says briskly, taking out a box as she beckons them over. "The second Hohou assessment bans the use of Zanpakutou. You'd be surprised how many Zanjutsu-focused students try to cheat anyway, so all Zanpakutou have these attached to them before the assessment begins."
She shows them the tags with seals inscribed across the surface. They're nothing fancy, akin to nametags, but they do their job.
"We don't like separating Zanpakutou from their wielders once students reach their fifth year," She explains. "And all Shinigami are encouraged to get used to carrying their Zanpakutou with them at all times anyway. This way, you'll be able to take them in with you, but we'll know if you unsheathe them."
She takes out three tags and flares her reiatsu, watching half the seals light up before holding them out. "There. Loop the string around the sheath before tying it over the hilt, and then I'll finish locking them. They won't affect your Zanpakutou in any way, and you can still unsheathe your swords anytime. Try not to do that until after the assessment though. There's not much time on Monday to redo the tags, and you'll get marks docked off if you use them during the test."
Ichigo nods and grabs a tag first, head dipping as he reaches for the katana at his waist. Then he jerks back up again, wide-eyed, but Shiina isn't paying any attention to him anymore as she looks up at Starrk.
Starrk blinks at her once, slowly. His expression doesn't shift from its indifferent lines, but after a few seconds, something about his eyes thaws, the corners crinkling briefly with the faintest of mirth.
"You're a bit... petty, Sensei-san," He murmurs in a voice pitched so low only she and Ichigo can hear.
Shiina shrugs unrepentantly. She still can't be 100% sure Starrk isn't a Kyouraku no matter what the man himself believes, but she is sure that either way, it's the Kyouraku Family's loss.
If Starrk isn't a Kyouraku, then it doesn't matter, although knowing nobles, they'll probably be at least a little disgruntled that their unique dual-wielding Shinigami is unique no longer, and it's even someone from Rukongai who's manifested a daishou pair.
And if he is a Kyouraku, an ugly secret the clan had erased so thoroughly that even the only remaining heir of the main branch wasn't told, then Shiina wants them to know, wants to rub it in their faces, wants to shout, Look what you missed out on! Look what you lost! He's no less special than the only Shinigami you've produced!
So sue her. Maybe she's been a little bitter about Starrk receiving no offers from the Gotei divisions beyond the generic ones most students get because there are always unseated cannon fodder positions needing to be filled. Technically, it's Starrk's own fault for utterly failing to stand out in any way, but Shiina doesn't mind blaming everyone else for being blind.
She doesn't know what all Starrk can do, but she is absolutely certain he is far, far more powerful than he's let on. His Kidou work alone is magnificent, and someone like that can't possibly remain in obscurity. Anyone who looks down on him for his circumstance of birth or lack of background will regret it. This is just the first step.
Starrk huffs out an exasperated breath but doesn't refuse her little scheme because obviously she's his favourite teacher. He takes the tags, and then reaches up to twist off the cap of the wooden case.
One could hear a pin drop in the subsequent silence as Starrk retrieves his katana and wakizashi in one fluid motion and lays them out on the desk in front of him. The nearby lamp light catches on the katana's hilt for a moment, making it shine, like sun on sand. With deft steady hands, he attaches a tag to each blade, calm even with a sea of eyes on him.
Shiina slants a look to the side through her eyelashes and suppresses a very satisfied smile.
Kyouraku Shunsui looks like he's been hit over the head with a hammer. She's willing to bet it's a rare look on him, even for someone with a reputation for making a bit of a fool of himself in public whenever he drinks.
He looks stunned now, stunned and... and something else, the same something he'd shown after reading Starrk's paper, except in his distraction, it's far more noticeable now, even if just for a few seconds.
Wonder, Shiina thinks, and doesn't know what to think of it.
"Sensei-san?" Starrk prompts, tilting his blades towards her.
Shiina gives herself a mental shake before finishing up with the tags, Starrk's first, then Ichigo's.
"That's done then, you can go," Shiina tells them. "Have a good weekend. Don't be late on Monday."
Ichigo breathes a sigh of relief, looking reenergized, while Starrk nods at her, nods at the other teachers, and even inclines his head in Kyouraku's direction, before they both turn to go.
"I should get going too then," Kyouraku says, smiling once more and as affably composed again as ever. "Wouldn't want to overstay my welcome."
Shiina stoops down to put the box of tags away just so nobody will see her roll her eyes. By the time she sits up again, her colleagues have seen the captain off, and she silently wishes Starrk good luck with that one. Still, she doesn't regret waving his Zanpakutou in the man's face. She does dock off another 20 points though because she's decided she doesn't much like Kyouraku, especially when he's in Starrk's vicinity.
"Hey!" The Philosophy teacher suddenly calls out, flipping through the papers on the desk. "Where did Coyote-san's essay go?"
Everyone spends a minute looking for it. Shiba Ichigo's is still on the table.
Shiina glances at the door and lets her lip curl. Minus 100 points. She's never met anyone who's hit the negative hundreds so quickly in her life.
The others realize it too soon enough, and the admin head eventually sighs. "It's fine, we have a few copies anyway, and it's not the first time we've lost an essay."
"So... he's not a Kyouraku then?" Someone else pipes up.
An uncertain hush falls over the room. No one is convinced, Shiina included.
"Just..." The admin head waves a weary hand. "Treat him as we always have. It doesn't hurt to be cordial to a future captain, noble or otherwise."
Everybody agrees, and that's that.
-0-
Ichigo has never felt so awkward in his life. He finally understands what being a light bulb means, and these two aren't even dating anymore. Yet. Again. Whatever.
Still, he obstinately makes sure he walks between them. It's not much, but it's probably better than inflicting all of... Kyouraku on Starrk right away. The past twenty minutes had been awful enough. Not many had noticed, or if they had, they probably hadn't been able to pinpoint exactly what was wrong, but Ichigo knows Starrk.
Knows him well enough to tell that the man isn't in any way as put-together as he seems on the surface. Knows too that he's probably thinking about crawling into bed or walking into a lake or disappearing into the sands of Hueco Mundo and just never coming out again.
Ichigo doesn't know how to fix it though, doesn't know if this can even be fixed. The last year in their own timeline had answered him with a resounding no. So all he can do for now is stay close and make sure Starrk is never alone in these moments.
No one is talking. Ichigo wouldn’t usually mind, but the silence this time is tense. It’s also rare to have Kyouraku around and not have any conversation going. The man isn’t actually that chatty most of the time, even if he is a people person, but for there to be something interesting in his immediate vicinity - and Kyouraku is interested in Starrk, even Ichigo can tell that much - and yet choose to remain silent? Ichigo doesn’t like it.
They get all the way to the entrance of the staff building before Ichigo cracks.
“So what were you here for today, Taichou?” Ichigo asks. “Uh, if you can say, I guess.”
Shunsui glances over at him, glances past him, then back. “Maa, it wasn’t anything special. I was just asking about Asuka-chan's progress. You’ve done a good job with her.”
Ichigo flushes a little. “I didn’t do much. She just needed some confidence.”
Kyouraku hums, amused but warm somehow. He's always been good at that. “We’ll agree to disagree then. I’m grateful either way.”
Ugh, this was not what Ichigo had wanted. But he ends up nodding stiffly, and thankfully, Kyouraku gets the hint and drops the subject with a chuckle.
But that also means he has time to glance at Starrk again, like he's checking for a reaction. Unfortunately for him, Starrk is currently impersonating a statue, and he hasn't looked at Kyouraku once since they'd left the meeting room.
It's only when they step outside that Starrk finally stirs. He turns to face them, eyes on Ichigo, features carved from stone. "I turn off here."
Ichigo blinks. Oh, right, but- "You're already going back to the dorms? Fujiwara and Matsumoto want to go out for dinner."
Starrk nods. "I know, you mentioned it yesterday. I won't go. Give me your bag, I'll take it back for you."
Reflexively, Ichigo hands him his bag, but he also tacks on, "You can come too, they're definitely expecting you to."
Starrk shakes his head. "I'm tired, I'll probably just turn in early."
Ichigo opens his mouth to argue, but... to be honest, in Starrk's place, he probably wouldn't want to be inflicted with Matsumoto's energy either. Fujiwara's taking after her a little too much for comfort these days, and Gin is probably going to be there too, and nobody wants to put up with Gin when they're already feeling bad. Of course, Gin always looks sour-faced around Starrk instead of the other way around. Ichigo is pretty sure it's because Starrk has a way about him that makes the suspicious brat feel like the man's constantly catching him red-handed or something every time Starrk so much as looks at him, which is hilarious, but it also means Gin tends to either avoid Starrk whenever possible or needle him when it isn't. Starrk doesn't usually care, but it isn't exactly what anyone would call a good time.
"Okay," Ichigo says instead. "Just make sure you eat something first."
"Mm," Starrk says, very obviously not agreeing to anything. God, Ichigo is surrounded by people who are going to worry him into an early grave. On the other hand, can it be called an early grave when he probably should've died something like ten years ago?
...Wow, that's depressing. Best not to think about it too hard.
"Go have fun," Starrk says before Ichigo can press on the point about food. Sometimes, it's like Starrk forgets he's not just a Hollow anymore. Ichigo had heard that Starrk had transcended hunger even as an Adjuchas because his reiatsu had done the "eating" for him—and then some. And even after reaching the peak of a Hollow's evolution, he's still never needed as much of any kind of food as regular Shinigami, but that doesn't mean it's healthy either for him to eat nothing.
"Don't stay out too late, don't drink too much," Starrk continues, and Ichigo is distracted enough by this to drop the previous subject.
He rolls his eyes. "Okay, Dad. You know it's a Friday, right?"
Also he's not a teenager anymore, he doesn't say, because he's still mindful of Kyouraku's presence behind him.
(His human body had died as a teenager though, at the ripe old age of seventeen. Some days, it feels like he's still aging at the pace of a human, all grown up and as jaded as an adult can get. Other days, when Kaien acts like an annoying big brother around him, or when Starrk fusses over him in that weary, gentle way of his, Ichigo feels exactly like the kid he would be if he'd been born in Soul Society.
He's still not sure how to feel about that. It's weird, always, but... not always bad.)
Starrk raises his eyebrows. "Matsumoto has a makeup test at noon tomorrow. Ichimaru has an early shift in the morning. Fujiwara has an appointment with her advisor at nine, and you-" A wisp of amusement actually makes it all the way onto his face for a moment. "-have remedial Kidou lessons with Koyonagi at ten."
Ichigo immediately scowls. "It's not remedial lessons! That bastard just doesn't know how to butt out of my business!"
Starrk hums noncommittally, but Ichigo's on to him. That's his I'm laughing at you on the inside because I'm secretly an asshole hum.
"How do you even know all these things?" Ichigo grumbles, because honestly, even when Starrk comes to hang out with them, he spends at least two-thirds of the time napping instead of paying attention to anything going on around him. Ichigo hadn't known they'd all be so busy tomorrow.
Starrk just gives him a blank look like he doesn't understand the question. Ichigo rolls his eyes again and gives up.
"It's not like I was planning on staying out that late anyway," He huffs. "We'll be fine for tomorrow."
Starrk nods and says nothing else. Ichigo doesn't have the words to describe how much he likes that about the guy. Unlike Kaien, Starrk says his piece when he feels strong enough about something to actually make his opinion known, but the rest is up to the other party to decide for themselves, for better or for worse. Unless of course you're bleeding a river with your insides hanging outside and trying to insist you can totally still fight.
Healers. They're somehow all carved from the same terrifying, unbending mold. The day Starrk meets Unohana, the Gotei 13 may never know peace again.
Starrk slings Ichigo's bag over his shoulder as well, and then his gaze finally skates past Ichigo to the man waiting patiently on the side while listening with shameless interest.
"Kyouraku-taichou, I'll be taking my leave," Starrk says, polite and formal as he bows his head, as an Academy student should before a captain, and it's- it's wrong, it's all wrong.
Ichigo doesn't really count the first time he'd met Starrk as their first meeting, which means that for as long as he's known this man, it has always been as a package deal with Kyouraku, right up until that final year. To this day, he has no idea how those two had happened, but it's not like 80% of the people he'd known and befriended hadn't been his enemies once upon a time too, so he has no room to judge.
The point is though, from Ichigo's perspective, Starrk had always followed faithfully in Kyouraku's wake, in his shadow, at his shoulder, hunched over the same desk and working long into the night or decimating a battlefield on Kyouraku's command, with eyes for no one else, even when - in the early days - enemy Quincy had mocked him as the Captain-Commander's tamed mutt, and their own allies had disdained him for being Ukitake's substitute. But likewise, while Kyouraku had forged ahead to pave a bloody road through the enemy ranks because there was no one else to do it for them anymore so he'd had to do it for everyone else, it was always Starrk he'd looked back at, always certain that he would only ever have to reach out and there Starrk would be, and no matter what anyone had said about lingering loyalty to Aizen or potential spy for the Quincy or even a Captain-Commander with such an unsightly weakness, Starrk had been the only thing Kyouraku had refused to hear a single dissenting word about.
They'd orbited each other and stood as a unit at the helm of the Gotei 13, and to see them like this now - separated by death and time and memory - even Ichigo aches at the sight. There's barely five feet between them but it might as well be a canyon.
Maybe Kyouraku can sense something of it too, because he tilts his hat down until it casts a shadow over his eyes, like he can't bear to look, but at the same time, his gaze remains glued to Starrk like he can't bear to look away either.
"Aa, I'm glad to have met Ichigo-kun's most mysterious friend at last," Kyouraku says, voice as laidback as ever, eyes anything but. "You've never come along with the others when Ichigo-kun is training Asuka-chan in my backyard."
It isn't quite a question, but Starrk blinks slowly and replies, "That's usually late afternoon. I prefer taking a nap."
Kyouraku smiles a little, and the curve of it is almost sly. "My division grows the most beautiful cherry blossom trees in all of the Seireitei, and they're just starting to bloom. It's a good place for a nap while you wait for your friends to finish up."
Starrk's brow furrows faintly. "...It would be disrespectful to intrude. I'm just a student."
Kyouraku waves a dismissive hand. "And I'm the captain. I can do what I want. And letting someone sleep under a tree is hardly an earth-shattering allowance."
Starrk blinks again before giving the impression of a shrug without actually moving his shoulders. "Thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind."
Even Ichigo has to hide a wince at the flat tone. But Kyouraku only smiles some more. "Good. You can come by anytime."
Starrk nods, a graceful dip of his head that lets his gaze fall away as he directs his next words at Ichigo, "I'll see you when you get back then." Then once more at Kyouraku, "Have a good evening, Kyouraku-taichou."
And then he's gone without so much as a blur left behind. Ichigo doesn't understand why they don't just give Starrk an automatic pass for Hohou when the guy uses Shunpou like he's teleporting, and then he remembers that most likely no one else has actually seen him use it yet with this kind of proficiency.
He turns back to Kyouraku, then falters. The man is staring after Starrk, smile nowhere to be found, which Ichigo had expected, but there's also an unsettling air of loss about him, heavy as a funeral shroud. And then, in the next second, Ichigo suddenly finds himself on the receiving end of a dark, ruthless, calculating gaze that Ichigo's only ever seen on the future Kyouraku, on the Captain-Commander at his best, at his worst, his blades stained with lifeblood, his shadows come alive with abyssal hunger.
All the hairs on the back of Ichigo's neck stand up, and a chill runs down his spine. He will honestly never understand how Starrk could look at this particular monster time and time again and never even seem to notice the threat, had always walked in Kyouraku's shadows like they were an embrace and not a bottomless void of remorseless avarice. But Ichigo's also faced down plenty of things just as scary as Kyouraku Shunsui, so he only needs a moment to re-center himself and beat back the instinctive lurch of alarm in his gut.
It's easy to forget, most of the time, just what this man is capable of.
They end up staring at each other in silence, and for a moment, it almost seems like Kyouraku might finally push for some answers. Ichigo knows he hasn't been the most subtle, and there are a handful of people out there nowadays who have their suspicions about him, but so far, none of them have approached him about it.
Kyouraku looks like he's about to. For a split second, he looks like he dearly wants an explanation, and he won't much care either what he might have to do to get it.
Figures, a part of Ichigo thinks wryly even as the rest of him goes tense with a guarded sort of apprehension. It would be Starrk-san who brings this out in him.
But between one breath and the next, Kyouraku blinks, blinks again, and the strained tension pops like a balloon as the monster disappears back into the shadows, and Kyouraku is casually adjusting his hat like the whole stare-down hadn't happened at all.
Ichigo feels his eye twitch.
"Well then, I should be heading off too," Kyouraku declares, and his gaze is feather-light when he glances at Ichigo once more. "I suppose I'll see you at Asuka-chan's next tutoring session. Perhaps I might see some of your friends too, hm? The more the merrier of course, so don't worry about any noise complaints. It's good to be livelier when you're young."
"Uh-huh," Ichigo says very dryly. Internally, he sighs and makes a mental note to do his best to convince Starrk to come with him next time.
Of course, he'll be first in line to beat Kyouraku up if this all turns into (more) heartbreak and (more) tragedy, but...
He's not actually so oblivious that he doesn't know Starrk might still only see a cliff's edge that he'll be more than happy to take a swan dive off of at the end of all this. He talks a good game, and after a year of practice, he's gotten a lot better at hiding his grief. At the very least, ever since they'd come back in time, Ichigo hasn't been able to pick up much more than a haze of melancholy from Starrk that comes and goes at irregular intervals.
He doesn't know how to fix it, doesn't know if it can even be fixed. But he does know that if anyone can pull Starrk back from that cliff, it's this man in front of him.
And Ichigo's lost enough people. He doesn't want to lose Starrk too.
So he'll keep an eye on this relationship, make sure Kyouraku doesn't overstep, and make sure Starrk isn't letting Kyouraku overstep, but otherwise, he doesn't think it's a bad idea to help it along a little.
He fervently hopes he's making the right choice.
Kyouraku takes off with a last friendly nod, and Ichigo also hurries away to meet up with Fujiwara and Matsumoto.
For now, everything will keep another day.
#bleach#kurosaki ichigo#coyote starrk#kyouraku shunsui#shunstarrk#myscrap#ichigo & starrk time travel verse#ok lbr out of the entire bleach cast who else would make the most sense to have two blades for their Zanpakutou in sealed form?#like even in canon Starrk was a dual wielder from the start (Kubo sure understood his audience when he threw him and Shunsui together lmao)#technically you could argue that even as an arrancar the “sealed state” of his Zanpakutou was already two “blades” him and Lilynette#because his power was never sealed in the swords that either of them had those were basically just decoration#so in this AU once he evolved enough and his soul was whole enough to produce a real Zanpakutou ofc it would manifest as a daishou pair#anyway this was fun to think about#and again it doesn't exactly fit with what i've written so far for this AU but you can just go with whichever version you feel like lol#also did i create yet another OC out of the blue? yes yes i did. i suppose we'll see if i do anything with her. fingers crossed for no lmao#i was going to make her a katori but then i was like cross be a little less obsessed with shunsui not everything has to tie back to him#so i just made up a name but who she is and what's her background idk tell me wat you think of her i guess#i do headcanon starrk is a natural at kidou because both kidou and ceros are basically reiatsu manipulation when it comes down to it#and starrk could fire ceros instantaneously all damn day from any part of his body without moving a single finger#i think that that control and skill would translate to kidou
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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PART THR33 (finallyyyyyyyy):
so after all THAT nobara and megumi are, predictably, avoiding the subject... basically, they were both like "that's crazy, he's crazy right? that's crazy" and focused harder on the obvious distraction of liking yuuji. the whole thing seemed to calm down yuuji a bit though! he's being less cagey with them, and after a few days, the initial weirdness mostly calms down and things fall into a (three-way denial fueled) equilibrium
SCENE - INT. DINING HALL, MORNING
they're grabbing breakfast (again)(as you do) but nobara splits off to eat with the upperclassmen (N: "I don't wanna eat with you assholes today"; she already had plans to eat with maki)((she may also be avoiding one or the both of them))(((any reason honeslty, everyday is a new minefield with these losers)))
SIDE NOTE: for some reason in this, nobara developed a really contentious one-sided feud with yuuta. maki and yuuta might be a thing, or just besties, idrc because that has nothing to do with nobara's dislike of him (really, what it comes down to is in first year she didn't get to go to kyoto because "he won the exchange event last year" and she's held a grudge against him ever since) of course, he's very nice and welcoming to her at all times, which gives her lots of opportunites to snap back at him and roll her eyes and ignore him to talk to maki. he has no idea what's going on.
Things are awkward between yuuji and megumi. things have mostly gone back to normal but this is still the first time anyone's been alone with yuuji since the incident. they're pretty much just sitting in silence until yuuji breaks the tension.
Y: I can't believe gojo-sensei actually assigned us a reading this week. he's never done that before has he?
M: technically, he's supposed to assign readings every week. it just never matters if we actually read them or not.
Y: wait, really? but...didn't he say he was gonna quiz us?
M: it's probably just because he's going out of town all week. he has to pretend he's still teaching while he's gone.
Y: oh…so you think he's gonna forget by the time he gets back?
M: probably. but even if he doesn't-- you know, right after I graduated middle school gojo told me all of sudden there was an entrance exam for jujutsu tech.
Y: really!? but all I had to do was--
M: trust me I'm getting to that. he gave me like 700 pages of reading and told me I was gonna get tested on all of it. I spent the entire break pulling all-nighters, reading everything, reviewing it over and over, running practice exams and everything. Then I showed up on the first day.
Y: and?
M: Yaga-sensei beat the shit out of me.
Yuuji laughs. Megumi smiles.
Y: was anything in the reading helpful at least?
M: not even a little bit.
It's the first time Yuuji's laughed so easily around him since stuff got weird.
Y: what did Gojo say?
M: "I never said it would be a written exam"
Y: you're kidding
Across the room, Maki's glancing over Nobara's shoulder
Maki: looks like they're finally getting along again. shit's been weird with you three lately. (N: mm.)
Yuuta: the two of them would be cute together, don't you think? (N: glares)
Maki: How would Nobara feel about getting third wheeled in her little trio though?
Nobara peeks over her shoulder to see Megumi smiling softly at a grinning and laughing Yuuji, the two of them looking realllll cozy together.
Nobara: Whatever. I just don't want Yuuji to get a boyfriend before I do.
((((Maki: what about megumi? Nobara: couldn't care less))))
SCENE - EXT. TRAINING GROUNDS, AFTERNOON
that same afternoon, they're out getting ready for the afternoon training session. it's independently lead today. megumi's planning on training with his shikigami getting ready to do another subjugation ritual. he's warming up by himself a ways away from the other two. nobara gets her hammer and nails and approaches yuuji streching on the ground and asks him to spar with her
yuuji: I mean....okay, but are you sure? you're more of a ranged fighter, right? how well you can fight kinda depends on how well you can take advantage of your environment, especially one-on-one against a hand-to-hand fighter. and...well, we're in an open field.
nobara smirks (she's secretly always impressed by yuuji's fight sense, but she's also the most competitive person she knows): you scared?
yuuji looks back up at her, blinks at the challenge, then a smile slowly grows across his face. holding eye contact, he cocks his head and says: no way
they set up about 10 yards (meters) apart. yuuji's bouncing on his toes, rolling his shoulders ready to close the distance. he drops his chin and locks eyes with nobara. she slots three nails between her fingers on her left hand, adjusts her grip on her hammer and locks in.
nobara has to keep her heart from beating out of her chest
yuuji takes off, a huge burst of speed that kicks up the turf behind him. in practiced motions, nobara slams three nails in a spread pattern into the ground between them. the earth explodes in front of yuuji, breaking and shooting up into jagged crags of earth in his path. he skids, taken aback by a technique he didn't know she had. he quickly changes direction
nobara takes advantage of the moment when yuuji has lost the line of sight and quickly scales one of the new formations jutting out of the ground, pulling as many nails as she can hold at once out of her hip pack. the moment she sees yuuji veering around the obstruction, she shoots a nail directly at his head
he catches sight of her just before the nail whizzes past his face. he has to halt his movement and pull his head back to barely miss being hit. He uses the sudden stop to change directions again, and start bounding up the broken earth toward nobara
she shoots another, he dodges to the left. she shoots one more, and it catches him on the cheek. he doesn't even flinch, bounding forward until he's just a step away from catching up to her
nobara jumps backward off her perch and slides down another chunk of jutting turf, turning as yuuji jumps across to follow her. the moment he touches down, she shoots a nail into the ground right below his feet, destroying it.
she takes the opportunity to gain some distance, running away from the destroyed turf back into the open field. she'll only have a moment to do what she needs to do.
the ground explodes behind her in a crack followed by a blast that blows her hair around her and sends debris flying past. he'll be on her in seconds. if she's lucky
nobara pulls six nails out of her pack and floats five around her with cursed energy. she spins around, kneels down in the center and slams the last one into the ground, bringing all the others down with it and shooting cursed energy deep into the earth
immediately the ground beneath her shoots up into the sky carrying her up with it
the sudden upward momentum knocks the air out of her for a moment. she stabilizes herself on her hands and knees as the acceleration slows near the peak. she brings her eyes to the ground below her. yuuji is locked onto her, just below bouncing on his toes waiting for the moment she lands.
she reaches the peak and her stomach lurches as she comes to a stop. she takes a deep breath.
the moment the ground begins to fall she stands, reaches out with her cursed energy, and takes aim
one shot to the right. he dodges and rolls. but as he moves to pop back up, he's jerked back by his left arm, stuck to the ground. his head flicks over to see what's holding him back, but the nail she shot is feet away from him. nobara smirks.
three more shots. his right arm is pinned down. then his right leg. and his left.
she launches herself off the chunk of land just before it crashes back into the ground and lands kneeled over yuuji, a nail to his head, hammer over her head
"i win"
yuuji's shocked face pulls into a wide smile as his eyes light up and his body relaxes
"how'd you do that?"
she smiles, and pokes him in the cheek where the nail grazed him at the start of the fight.
"that tiny bit of blood?"
she nods
"on one nail?"
she nods again and smiles
"no way....when did you learn all this?"
"maybe i've been practicing when you weren't paying attention"
"you're amazing, kugisaki"
the praise shoots electricity straight down her spine and sets her skin on fire.
"yeah. i am." she tries to maintain an air of confidence, turning away as her face heats up. she drops her cursed technique freeing yuuji from being pinned to the ground and moves to stand up.
the moment the curse drops he hooks his leg around hers, one hand presses into her shoulder and the other wraps around her waist. before she can process, he's flipped her onto her back, pinning her down by her wrist, immobilizing the hand that holds her hammer. he smirks down at her.
"I win"
nobara's heart is going to kill her. yuuji's face, inches from hers, self-satisfied grin and sparkling eyes is going to kill her.
"get off me, loser" she pushes him off with one foot. He falls off easily laughing.
"let's call it a draw!"
"no way!"
he laughs harder. megumi watches them from across the destroyed landscape. nobara is pushing herself off the ground flicking dirt and grass off her uniform while yuuji is laid out on the ground beside her. she's frowning, but her face is flushed. he knows it's not from effort.
"other people have to train here you know" he mumbles to himself. he's definitely mad about the damage. only the damage. he's not getting anything done today.
SCENE - INT. DORM HALLWAY, EVENING
that night, nobara knocks on megumi's door again for the first time since the incident. she slips in quietly and shuts the door with a soft click. they hold tense eye contact from across the room before nobara finally speaks
n: you think you're slick?
m: what?
n: i saw you flirting up a storm with yuuji at breakfast.
megumi slams his book closed
n: "oh yuuji, you're so funny, yuuuji. let me bat my eyes at you some more yuuuuuji!"
m: I was flirting?? (he gets up from his bed) "spar with me yuuji-kun! let me show my moves yuuji-kuuun! oops i'm straddling you yuuji-kuuuun!"
he's halfway across the room taunting her
n: i don't know who the fuck you think you're talking about, cause I know it's not me
she's halfway across the room up in his face
n: sounds like you're jealous
m: i'm not jealous
n: so you're a liar too
m: (softer this time) not a liar...
megumi's looking down into her eyes, she's glaring up into his. his eyes drop to her lips. nobara just deflates like we're doing this again, huh? megumi just shrugs like can't help it. in moments, they're all over each other again, falling back onto his bed, wrinkling the sheets, and rolling awkwardly over the book he deposited there earlier.
nobara slides her hands into megumi's hair and pulls, he gasps and bites her lip. she pulls her lip through his teeth and sits back breathing heavily. megumi catches her eye and they pause.
he shakes his head and pulls her back in.
"let's not talk about it yet"
she nods and crashes back into him.
once they've worked off the initial burst of energy, slowing down until nobara's forehead is pressed against megumi's, breathing evenly, his hands holding her lower back and waist, neither of them making direct eye contact, she falls to the side and burys her face in the bedding.
m: soooo....
n: (groans)
m: we should probably talk about it now
nobara turns her head to look at him, her face still half squished against the mattress, pouting
m: nobara...what are we?
END OF PART 3, PART 4 GONNA BE WILD GET READY
new itfskg based on a hc post i saw on here in my fugue state rbing last night i'll add a screenshot or link or smth later maybe idk. okay so baskially how it goes:
megumi and nobara both have a crush on yuuji. this is especially hard for nobara bc she spent the whole first let's say year of their friendship being extremely vocal about how she'd never be into either of them but oops! she got too comfy and caught feelings
nobara eventually breaks down and goes to fushiguro to lament her plight and ask for advice. she's dramatically revealing the source of her suffering when his face gives him away (a big ol "oh no" written on his forehead) (N: what's that face? M: what face... N: oh my god... do you like him too???) (Megumi doesn't say shit cause he's a repressed loser embarrassed of having feelings)
Turns out meg's had a crush on yuuji basically since he met him. he didn't realize it at first of course cause he's way too good at lying to himself. not that good though. he's been silently fostering a deep deep crush for months.
having learned all this, for the next few weeks, nobara starts visiting fushiguro in his dorm anytime she's too overwhelmed by annoying feelings, or pulling him aside during downtime to let off steam, sharing knowing glances and silent communications across rooms. megu's surprisingly glad to have someone to confide in, especially in a way where he's not the center of attention. Since they're both pathetic losers with a crush, he finds it's easier to talk about his feelings than with anything before.
regularly commiserating about how down bad they both are leads nobara and megumi to spend more time separated from yuuji. it's really good for their friendship actually. previously they were both a bit closer to yuuji than to each other, but having a crush to bond over gives them a lot to talk about. yuuji does notice they're spending more time together. and without him. wonder how he feels about that..
one night, nobara barges into megumi's room to complain about yuuji being way too cute and funny at dinner or something while megumi's laying in bed reading. she just plops down half on top of him and starts in. He reluctantly puts his book down but he doesn't object. they've gotten pretty used to each other. so she's going off, grumbling into his shoulder, gripping his sweatshirt out of frustration, and when she looks up, fushiguro looks down at her. their faces less than a foot apart as she's leaning into him, lying together in his bed and...
N: what's that face
M: what face?
he looks away. nobara turns his face back to hers
N: that face
M: (without breaking *very intense* eye contact) I dont' know what you're talking about
they make out
it's very much teenagers with a lot of pent up energy that needs to go somewhere fooling around like teenagers with pent up energy that needs to go somewhere. they kind of crash together, they're grabbing at arms and shoulders and faces, pulling each other as close as they can without ever breaking the kiss. At one point, nobara in readjusting to keep from falling off the bed ends up on top of megumi, knees on either side of his hips, one hand propping herself up and one gripped in the fabric of his sweatshirt. he pulls her into him and rolls them over so they're chest to chest with him on top. he's pushes his hands into her hair, she wraps her arms around his back and twists her leg around h--
two knocks and the door opens
"Hey Fushiguro, I wanted to see if you..."
Yuuji's halfway through the doorway and his face is morphing into the picture of absolute despair
megumi and nobara are...like this
(they're not naked, they're just microsoft paint stick people)
"Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... I'll just..." Yuuji sputters and stumbles out the door.
(simultaneously) M: Shit.. N: Fuck!
so the mood's kiiinda dead.... megumi ends up leaned up against the wall with his head in his hands. nobara's staring blankly at the ceiling. Eventually, nobara says, "did you see his face?" M: "mm" N: "so...which one of us do you think he likes?"
---END OF PART ONE---
(I'll continue it in like... 5 minutes probably)
#this one's long as fuck so if you're not already invested i'm not gonna make you scroll past it#im in a toxic on and off relationship with canon#assume this takes place in an alternate dimension where only the events that i've decided are relevant at any given point still exist#i've been wanting to get back to this. i've been in vampire au land but i've been thinking about this all the time#it's too fun of a world to play in#THIS TOOK FOREVER AND I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH LEFT TO DO#whatever the fuck itfskg fic is fucking around in my head rn
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to the person who sent the ask- yeah, it’s extremely fucking concerning dream positioned himself as the victim and deflecting by saying “it’s out of context!” and not giving it (which, I’ve watched the streams, they aren’t any different in context, if you meant something different tell us because it looks creepy as shit in context too) when people pointed out he kept making sexual jokes about a sixteen year old after being told to stop. He admitted to regretting the 16 year old is legal comment (which I personally don’t forgive him for because he was still minimising it instead of going “yeah that was fucked I straight up should not have done that and it was my fault.”) so it’s not like he stands by all of them, but the fact he considers Tommy making paedo jokes Because An Adult Is Actively Being Weird To Him worse than him making blatantly sexualised jokes is fucked. I don’t think he’s a nonce I think he’s stupid and arrogant and doubles down on doing awful shit but it’s like. I think Tommy has every right to say whatever he wants about Dream due to that, it’s not suddenly not traumatising because it’s not Meant to be, there’s a reason we have legislation on child stars now. The internet is in it’s like 1930s Hollywood area where you can just do whatever you want and there’s no safeguards, and that’s something that should be spoke up about before we get more Shirley Temples and Judy Garlands.
#Like this isn’t even about that specific guy#tons of people failed TommyInnit and his friends#as someone who's done reading on the very early age of film where kids were horrifically exploited#the internet age has a lot of concerning similarities. as we always had#we go from Judy garland to Jeanette mccurdy to now the kids of a new entertainment wave#Dream is the least of it just the most visible in our sphere. There’s far worse. And so many enablers#Which I’d argue is what dream primarily was. He never Directly did anything more than joke#but he sure found the idea of someone hitting on his 16 year old college hilarious#and thought it was okay because he was technically legal
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Anime good :) (Patreon)
#Doodles#MP100#Shigeo Kagayama#Reigen Arataka#Ritsu Kageyama#Forgive the anglicized name order lol#MP100 was another one of my breakfast anime! Admittedly I did not Just watch it during breakfast tho lol#It was too good ahhhh I kept finding my thoughts returning to it throughout the day!#I probably ended up watching an additional episode or so per day over however long it took haha - drastically cut down the number of days!#The lead ups to the finales especially got me - there was no way I could for the whole next day to see them through!#Plus getting to see those beautiful EPs gosh <3 What could be better than some absolutely stunning animation ♥#I was quite impressed the whole way through :D The cast was great and the animation was beautiful and fluid and impressive#And the technical ability that went into the painted animation! Gosh!!#But most of all - of course - it's just a good solid story <3 Of course it's beautifully expressed but it's just - good down to its bones#I love a story like that :) Mob is such a wonderful character and he's surrounded by good people ♥ It made my heart happy to see#He's loved and he loves <3 That's my very favourite!#Unsurprisingly to me I was most enamoured by the brother relationship who could've seen that coming lol me? Siblings? Pfsh ♪#Ritsu's a sweet boy as well <3 I cried at him crying from Mob not even considering forgiving him because there was never anything to forgive#Not me shorter older sibling feeling exactly the same way hhghghh I'm fine ;;#Reigen is such a fun deadbeat supportive adoptive dad haha ♪ He's hard to pin down! Loved his redemption arc(s) :)#Flawed individuals my beloved <3#Such an enjoyable cast and set of circumstances! I might actually have to give OPM a proper go sometime soon if this is the writing quality
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I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:
tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries
He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion. Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave. While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#Poor Zara.#she's gonna feel so fucking guilty about everything that's happened to him in the last 3 years even though it's not her fault.#yes she pissed off Wolf but she had no way of knowing Wolf would go after Rook instead of her.#(I don't even know what she did to piss off Wolf. That's the Big Reveal that's going to happen when Rook sees her again.)#but yeah. Seeing him like this and knowing/thinking that it's because of her actions... it's going to destroy her and that kills me.#I don't know what she did but I *do* know that she never intended for Rook to get hurt. She loves him too much for that.#but Rook could never blame her for anything. He'd forgive her just about anything. And that will probably only make her feel worse.#Rook and his mentors will never ever fail to fuck me up big time.#his undying devotion and naive faith in them which is such a stark contrast to his usual distrust of people.#and it gets him hurt every time even though the don't *mean* to hurt him. But Sigmar's case was definitely much more malicious than Zara's.#this reunion is going to be such a huge turning point for Rook's character and his personal development as a character.#well really it's a combination of things all happening at once that are going to be the turning point.#1) the fact that the party rescued him from Wolf which has literally no other explanation than that they love him and care about him.#2) seeing Zara again and finally getting that closure that he never got three years ago plus being to reestablish the most important#relationship in his entire life. Plus she's just a good influence on him all-around a much-needed source of support after Sigmar's betrayal#3) getting gifted the Tide Breaker (Zara's old ship) and having to learn some responsibility for once in his life will be very good for him#and I guess you could also say that 4) my temporary character Val talking some sense into him has something to do with it lmao.#but we'll see how this all plays out bc while I know these things are going to happen they technically haven't happened yet.#I'm not gonna RP the conversation between Rook and Val bc it would just be me talking to myself for a long time but I am gonna write it up#when we get to that point so I can show it to the DM so he knows what they talked about. Plus it will be a very fun exercise bc Val was#literally designed to be Rook's opposite in just about every way. They're very wise and responsible and Rook is a reckless idiot.#(but I love him anyways.)#So it's gonna be fun to balance writing both of them in the same conversation.#anyways. these tags are SO FUCKING LONG already. If you read this far I'm giving you your favorite dessert and a hug if you want it.#and also pledging you my undying allegiance for life. <3
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