#even if a partner isnt obviously abusive

[avo-kat]

isnt it funny how when you tell people certain things bother you they dont take you seriously and then when you get an actual diagnosis from a medical professional proving that the things bothering you have a proven medical basis they still wont take you seriously because you shouldnt use your diagnosis as an excuse and try to get better anyway so you can never win actually

[jellyfemmedyke]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

[whokilledsamara]

well, since i asked for a dogday nsfw alphabet might as well ask for catnap as well lol

if that’s okay, ofc. i don’t want to be a bother 🥹

(love reading your writings btw !!)

CATNAP NSFW ALPHABET

a catnap x reader list. {an: heheh... why ofc.. hes got to be the sexiest one of all in my opinion ;3 also thank you for enjoying my fics, i try my best <3}

warnings! : oh boy.... hes quite the aggressive type. nsfw, obviously, HARDCORE sex. unlike dogday, catnap doesnt hold back. blood play, abuse kink, dubcon if you squint/somno, aggressive sex, MASSIVE dick. yes, you are still in the factory. this is pre-escaping. {for this one, catnap is bbi but built like dogday. not his "monster" form like in the game.} afab and amab. period sex mentioned. asphyxiation... augh.. hes sadistic..

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

unfortunately, little to no aftercare. catnap isnt one to care much. yes he loves you, but he doesnt find aftercare appealing. probably most he will do is clean you up and let you sleep on him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes your ass. and thighs. likes sleeping on them. also if you're afab hes a big fan of your tits. likes kneeding them {hehehe cat biscuits}

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

much like dogday, he cums a lot. also due to his sheer size. not like he can get you pregnant anyways so almost always its a creampie. or your face if hes facefucking you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he wants to fuck you on your period

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

hasnt done it too much, but hes a quick learner. good at noticing body language so he knows what you like.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

any position where he can choke you. he likes to brink you on the edge of passing out but not quite enough to actually do it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

very serious. not awkward at all. wants to hurt you and finds nothing funny in that {maybe a little bit due to his sadism}

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he doesnt care enough to keep up. obviously hes covered in fur, but theres a decent amount of fluff down there.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he doesnt give a single fuck about romance. {VERY rarely and i mean that heavily, will he ever show even a hint of softness, but its there.}

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

when you arent there he does. hes a horny guy.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

blood play, knife play {claws}, abuse kink, impact play, petplay, etc

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his "room" as he calls it. but he also doesnt care where he does it. he will do it in the middle of the playcare if he wants to.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

hes a pervert, so basically anything that looks even slightly suggestive even if it isnt. or seeing you hurt yourself. {not sh, but like in general}

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

scat/vomit play. ew.. not much else he wont do.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

hes kinda selfish. he prefers receiving. nothing gets him off more than seeing you in pain trying to take him all in your mouth. he doesnt mind giving though, he has a rough, cat-like tongue, so its heavenly whether afab or amab.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough. as expected.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

hell yea. he will do anything as long as he gets to nut.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

any risk, hes willing to take. doesnt care if it hurts you {okay maybe ha cares a little bit}. sadism....

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

stamina? never wears down. even though hes a generally sleepy guy, that doesnt mean he doesnt have a lot of stamina.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

nah, he IS the toy. doesnt need anything else. hes easily able to get you off.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

constantly teasing and edging you. if you try to tease him it will just piss him off. goodluck walking.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not loud, does grunt and growl a lot. he wants you to be loud tho..

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

loves digging his claws in you, finds it so hot to mark you. also heavily into somno. i mean.. his whole motto is sleeping. {hes such an asshole i love him sm}

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

biiiggg boy.. kinda a given though. bigger than dogday, at 16 inches.. ouchie.. >.< {luckily hes nice enough not to force all of it in!!}

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

high, very high. tries to fuck you as often as he can, even when you are asleep, he doesnt care.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

if hes able to he does. but he doesnt necessarily NEED to, he just likes sleeping.

{sorry if this was too much or too graphic, just my personal headcannons. if you arent a fan of this lmk!!! i can easily make another one more mundane.}

{ made by @whokilledsamara }

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita because I asked my friend to not name his kid the same name as my abusive dad because it triggers me?

✨👶🏼 so I notice myself, sorry but I have a mental disability so my grammar isn't great. Sorry if I sound weird.

So let's just call my friend Fred (23,he/him, trans man)and I'll call my dad's name Sven. Fred has one other child(1,m) who I'll call Winston and Fred's newest child (Unborn lol, we know its another boy) is with one of his partners Brooke(22, They/She, transfem nb girl). I also offhandedly mention my partner Rosey(25, Any pronouns, Genderfluid) a few times, Fred's other partner Alan (20s?, He/him, Trans man), and lastly Me (24, He/she, Genderfluid).

Me and Fred have been bffs for like 7 or 8 years and I and Rosey are godparents to Winston and Fred got pregnant again. This time from one of his partners Brooke , Winston's other dad isnt in the picture. Me and Fred are super close (nearly dated at one point but it was before Fred and Brooke got together the first time and we are no longer interested in each other like that.) and I've been following both of Fred's pregnancies just to make sure everything is ok (I'm not encroaching, I just get text updates on appointments and stuff. Fred's first pregnancy was rough.).

Without going into a whole timeline, Fred and Brooke dated a couple years ago for about a year but Brooke raised a hand to hit Fred (never made contact nor any other physical abuse however they used it as a threat) and was controlling over him, they broke up and lost contact and over the last year/year and a half, rekindled and Brooke says they've changed and Fred trusts them again. I still don't like Brooke for obvious reasons but I'm being civil and trying to let them earn my trust again. So far their relationship is fine and it's not my place to muddle so until Fred sets off alarms that Brooke has gone back to their old ways, I'm trusting my friend's judgement. Brooke has been doing great through this pregnancy.

Fred knows the gest about what my dad put me through and how abusive he was to me. He knows I can't even be near cigarette smoke because it reminds me of him. However, Fred doesn't know his name. It's not because Fred doesn't want to, my dad's name just never came up and i didnt realize he didnt know his name till a few hours ago.

Me and Rosey sat in a call with Fred, Brooke and Alan while Fred and Brooke were brainstorming name ideas (They wanted our input). Brooke suggested the name Sven. I wanna be clear, Brooke doesn't know my dad's name either so I don't think this was a way of attacking me or something sinister. The name Sven is standing in for is a very common name in my country, though it's not popular for us gen Zers, it is common for my dad's generation.

I obviously froze up a bit due to the mention of his name and although Rosey tried to bring it up, Fred and his partners are kinda known for interrupting (Usually not viciously) and they didn't hear her. Fred and Brooke chatted happily about what a handsome name Sven was and how they might just decide to stick with it here and now but they wanted to hear other options. I waited out till the end of the call when Alan left (I don't know them so I didn't want to accidentally tell them personal things about my history of abuse) and told Fred that Sven was my dad's name.

Fred gasped and quickly said he wouldn't choose Sven and that he was sorry he forgot his name. Brooke however said that that was not a good enough reason to not consider a name they both dearly loved not 10 seconds ago. I tried to tell Brooke about why my dad was a bad person and some of the lighter things he'd done (not in a trauma dump explicit way, just in a he did *insert form of abuse* way) but they shut me down and said it was their kid to decide the name of. Fred told him he was also a vote in the name and he didn't want to upset me unnecessarily. Brooke said they were done with the conversation and Fred said they'd talk about it later. Fred then said to me and Rosey that he'd handle it and ended the call.

After about 30 mins, I got a couple of texts from Brooke and Alan that I was a jerk for trying to push my triggers onto other people and causing a fight between them and Fred and it wasn't my baby to name. (Alan doesn't live with Brooke and Fred so Brooke told Alan first what happened.) I decided not to answer for an hour or so because I was already worked up and they both essentially called me an asshole for overstepping. Fred just says hes gonna handle them but now I'm just confused.

I can see where I might of overstepped but I wasn't trying to be controlling and even if they would of picked Sven, i would of still respected it and tried my best to get over it as best i can. Was I pushing my problems on others or was I just letting a friend know what that name might be a bit painful for me when the name was just a suggestion? I don't think I'm TA but I wanna see if I'm missing something?

(I just realized rereading this that there is some important context to be added; Sven is not a sentimental name to Fred, Brooke or Alan. It's not a parents or grandparents name that might need carried on, it was just a name they liked. I checked with Fred to see if that explained Brooke's anger or something and Fred said no, they just liked Sven. There also hasn't been any hostility before this with Brooke or Alan so I'm not sure where all this anger came from.)

What are these acronyms?

[priceforrottenjudgement]

Ok, absolutely unnecessary, but here are my feelings on the gaiman situation.

I dont think there is any reason to not believe the two victims. Their stories are corroborated by Text messages and partly by gaiman himself.

However. A lot of ppl seem to have taken in a very reductive summary of events when they come away from this with "gaiman is a serial rapist deliberately preying on young women and abusing them". The relationships were confirmed as consensual by all parties, the Podcast seems to be staunchly anti bdsm, in their opinion all bdsm relationships are abusive and they drive this point home very hard. Theres clearly an Agenda and they tried to find other partners to corroborate their Story of "gaiman is a bdsm sex pest" but couldnt find anyone else who supported that view.

2nd however. Just bc the Podcast is obviously biased and working unsoundly, doesnt erase the fact that gaiman had relationships with 2 (that we know of) women significantly younger, obviously unstable and with a severe imbalance of Power (one was a fan who was clearly obsessed with him and the other was employed by him) and that he acted skeevily and was pushing, if not crossing, the limits of consent with these women. Also the fact that he tried to guilt trip one of them by saying he was thinking of suicide bc she was gonna "me too" him (what a disgusting way to phrase this??).

All this adds on to other red flags concerning gaiman, so its safe to say supporting him as a person isnt a good idea.

BUT it also once again has shown how unreflected and impulsive a lot of ppl on here are. Ppl were shouting "believe the victims!!!" At ppl asking questions about the situation, without even having checked in on the story themselves. "Believe the victims" doesnt mean "believe reductive tumblr posts made by ppl who didnt read past the headline". You still have to seek out additional info before jumping into crusade mode, and i dont get how thats a controversial thing to say???

Also: ive seen multiple people ridicule the notion that this has something to do with terf politics or the current election in the uk and im honestly not sure if these ppl were living under a rock, bc thats DEFINITELY a thing that has happened before. Deliberate exposes and "character assassinations" against ppl/celebs who have a different stance on politics, lgbt issues etc happens all the time in boulevard press or reactionary spaces, wtf are you talking about????

The makers of the Podcast WERE out to get gaiman, but that doesnt change the fact that there was indeed something "to get".

[rentheknightgale]

Thoughts on an ana/mia discord server?

If one already exists hmu. But I am also willing to make my own.

heres what my main rules would look like:

If you don't already have an 3d then don't join looking to get one. This isnt a place to get/start an ed but a place for people who already have it to talk. No coaches. This is for safety. Its okay to motivate people but no ana coaches as they are always no good. No fatphobia. I understand that fatphobia is woven into the fabric of 3ds but its still very harmful to decide that other people should change because of your opinions. This also means no f4tsp0, as it is inherently fatphobic. Keep your 3d to yourself, dont force it on anyone else. (this rule will be STRICT) Body checks are okay as long as they are in the dedicated channel and tw are put for si/sh. Also very little clothing is okay but no s3xualizing clothes or things that are meant to make you look s3xy. Also no br3ast or groin. Obviously. No substance talk. No no, nope. Talking about what meds you take is fine or whatever, but no promotion of alcohol, illegal dr-gs, vaping, grass or tobacco. Also no other forms of substance abuse, no matter how obscure. I am well versed enough to know the slick things and I know just how dangerous and horrible these kinds of things can get and while I can't stop you from doing it, I refuse to allow its influence to be spread. No homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, ect. I am also VERY well versed in minorities of all kinds and for these kinds of things its a one strike and you're out. If you say something and it comes off wrong then it will be a warning, but ignorance or hate will be immediately deleted. This would be a 17+ server strictly. oh, you're 16 and your birthday is in two months, nope. Got to wait. I wont ask for any personal info to prove age or anything of the sort, but If in some way I find out you are underage then you will be banned. NO CREEPS!!! I know redflags for gr00mers, and creeps. I will be on the look out. I have had other discord servers in the past where I had to put close friends on blast for creepy shit. I do not care if someone in the server is my best friend, if they are being a creep to you, you can tell me and I will take care of it. I wont shame you, or tell anyone who said something. I have been a victim too and had to go to court. I didn't get justice, I will not cause that kind of pain on even the smallest level to go without justice.

The last one is not even just for my discord server, but in general. If you are going through something my dms are open. Idc what the situation is, if you think you deserved it, if you are a boy, if they were a girl, if they were younger to you, if it was your partner. It doesnt matter to me. I'm here to listen, or to back you up if you want.

There would be other smaller rules, but these are the main ones. If theres some sort of issue with discord and why theres a reason people dont do this then also let me know pls. Also, if there are any other rules I should add, or questions put it in the notes or in my ask box and I'll answer!

Also, this would have a pretty thick authentication system. I hope I can figure it out. But I'm thinking some sort of level system where the more you are active the more access to the server you get. This will help with any raids or creeps. You would need to have quite a few days of talking in the main chat to get access to more and more channels. And the more sensitive ones (like body checking and vent) would be the kinds where you need to be talking daily for a week to get type thing. It sucks but I really need to weed out the minors, creeps, people who dont have 3ds and the like.

[system-venting]

i don't know if you guys are still active or not, but if you are, i'm going insane right now and have nowhere else to go, so hi.

im losing my fucking mind. i'm splitting very badly and am in the middle of a BPD episode, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but FUCK man.

our partner system got mad at us for making a friend. not even somebody we talk to necessarily, just a mutual. they *flipped* out on us and lost their minds, and are currently still flipping out on us as we speak, despite it having been over a day now.

i don't fucking get it. they have friends. why cant we have friends?? our relationship is already weird because we're minors with a three year age gap (us on the lower end of it, being 14). it's easy to make us uncomfortable because we have trauma and are paranoid we're being groomed and controlled, and they *know* of this paranoia and still do this kind of shit where they very blatantly try to control us.

ive brought this up with them, I told them it made us uncomfortable as soon as it happened and tried to communicate it, but they immediately shut us down and explained how we were somehow in the wrong for "waking them up to that." waking you up to WHAT?? I didn't give you any devastating news, I told you we MADE A FRIEND. CRAZY FUCKING CONCEPT, I KNOW.

i don't even know what to do with them at this point. I'm stuck comforting them after they threw us into an episode and trauma response. I honestly am just appalled that they're acting this way. this is something we've talked to them about a number of times and they continue to do it. gross.

We are still active- well one mod is, the other mod's system is going through smth so they can't handle the vent page. Anyhow-

We.. honestly understand that situation, and it is really difficult. We were lucky enough to get them to mostly listen, and when they started up again our protector was plain out like "nope. Bye. Goodbye. No more of this.". It's.. difficult to get out of, but I wish you the best, if anything you could try to break up but obviously I know its hard and isnt always on the table for most.

Also, Not to make it worse, but it might be grooming. Our system was groomed by someone three years older than us and they mainly would manipulate and gaslight or guilt trip, and honestly your situation reminds us of our own

Grooming by definition is:

"Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a person [typically young but can be any age] so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked. Anybody can be a groomer, no matter their age, gender or race."

[chaifootsteps]

starting to wonder if the mods are asleep or something, unless it's SC's video that made the difference - https://www.reddit.com/r/HelluvaBoss/comments/1dfzhts/stolas_being_a_shit_dad/

Plus his relationship with blitz is what started to cause the drama. Imagine you dad cheated on your mom and you didn’t understand the full situation and when your dad offers to take your mind off of drama, he brings the person he hooked up with that started all this drama in the first place (not putting the blame on blitz).

Yeah it's such a shitshow. Plus Blitz was actually taking his job seriously and wasn't flirting back, quite the opposite actually. So yeah. Pretty fucked

Though blitz during season one rarely flirted back and seemed to just tolerate Stolas more than anything.

Like, this is why Blitz is so messed up over it Stolas got feelings but it doesn’t erase all the shit he pulled and Blitz didn’t even get time to consider the situation, was just dismissed :(

My only hope is that stolas’s actions have consequences. Cause in season two his actions are softened more and some people would go Greta lengths to defend him- I get having like a favorite characters and seeing things from their point of view. But I feel like at times stolas’s actions are forgotten or expected to be forgiven because he was always “a victim”. While I won’t downplay the abuse and how bad his upbrings, it doesn’t excuse the actions we’ve seen him do in the show. Whether he’s aware of it or not. And I really hope apology tour is not just the “blitz hate train”. Though curious how Stolas thought singing at a concert with a banner that says “blitz sucks” was ever a good idea- but whatever it’s just me.

I also think he needs to realize he’s not just a victim if he REALLY wants to be an equal partner to Blitz Yes sometimes it’s one person’s fault, but it’s very obviously not this one

I for one cannot wait until Stolas has his awakening - so the fans with Stolas blinders glued to their heads have to eat crow. If it really is a "Blitz hate" train (although I think it's a broken hearts show), I'm not sure how I can watch that.

Also remember that their whole deal thing started when Blitz was in a life threatening situation. He was in no condition or position to consent properly. Even in the very beginning, he had no time to process...

Thank you thank you thank you. Blitzø didn’t bring up sex. That was Stolas. And yeah, I do think Stolas genuinely thought Blitzø was sneaking in for him and he almost certainly would be pretty horrified to know that Blitzø wasn’t fully on board with it, but Blitzø is a victim. I don’t think the relationship isnt salvageable, but it needs a looooot of work.

Everyone goes on and on about how bad blitzø is. Meanwhile, Stolas is just as shitty but more subtle about it. Regardless if he's aware of it or not.

Stolas' biggest flaw is self-centeredness. Not out of malice or selfishness, but out of pure sheltered obliviousness. Stolas never seems to notice (or care) how someone feels until some extreme emotion is shown. One can hope Stolas will learn to put the pause button on his own thoughts and learn to listen and read the room

Whatever it is, I hope it keeps coming, because it's healing to the soul.

[euniexenoblade]

genuinely confused and not trying to approach this in bad faith, how is it abusive to say if one partner is okay with seeing multiple people and the other isnt that they should break up? obviously they wont be happy together so why would they stay together? or is it just that not wanting your partner to see other people is inherently abusive?

the op is about abusive relationships, where the one partner guilt trips the poly person into staying. not to mention housing situations and what not can hinder on keeping these relationships alive. but in the OP i very specifically talk about the mono partner guilt tripping the poly partner into staying in the relationship and even say it becomes an emotionally abusive relationship. I'm talking about actual people I know who were in actual abusive relationships in that post, I don't need some weirdo wishing death on my friends who were abused.

[irldiancie]

All Kagehina “proof” I know of

Ok i wasnt gonna post this but ive been told by a friend to explain why some might ship Kagehina so... try me. i dont exactly ship this myself but lets just say im a pro when it comes to this topic also it's not as bad as i thought it was there are worse ships idk why i was a hater also i lowkey got some of this from shipping wiki but most of it i knew already, plus NOT ALL OF THIS IS NECESSARILY REFERENCES TO THE SHIP it kinda just adds on to it anyways lets just get into it

ok so starting with common knowledge i think everyone knows that Hinata is the protagonist followed with Kageyama being the deuteragonist, they get the most screen time together and are pretty much paired MOST of the series, we get a lot of content with them together while also getting content of them on their own, they're known as the "freak duo," the "greatest teammates" and like 100 other names they've been called I've seen a lot of people intemperate their relationship wrong, I've seen a few say Kageyama was downright "abusive" to Hinata which I think is a little farfetched, but to each their own! They genuinely do care for each other and it shows, even at the end of the manga you can tell how far their relationship has come, even if they consider themselves rivals, they are without a doubt still friends Now a lot of people have said "well they're not gay they're just friends", while this is true, it has been referenced/implied officially in many places, including manga panels and english dubs, so while it isn't canon there is a few cute things about it which we know are official which is why I'm sharing this, I myself know it isn't canon, plus I didn't really make this to prove anything it was kinda for fun sorry if that made little to no sense but I'll start getting into more interesting stuff 1. at the tip of the iceberg we have the fact they're in so much official art together

theres like a 1000 more of these btw theyre often put near eachother even in official arts not based off them

I have like 1k more of these but i have more proof than this but i think you get my point some of this is probably promo art but that's also considered official art so 2. moving on i think another known one is that Ukai calls them lovebirds ONE TIME in English dub and I have no idea who approved that but I think it's funny and obviously this probably meant nothing but take it as you want video of it here 3. this is kinda randomly thrown in but the fact that they also trust eachother, they've mentioned it a couple times but I think it's nice to know 4. i dont remember when this was or what chapter or something but kageyamas grandfather said "somebody even better will come for you", which just happened to be Hinata of course 5. ALSO after that whole fight scene back in season two, Hinata says this

he didnt really consider kageyama as a friend, but he considered him a partner which i believe is more important to hinata. teammates/partners were always something Hinata wanted, as before he went to Karasuno, he didn't feel like his friends in Junior high were necessarily teammates. Meaning he valued Kageyama more because he was his partner.

(credits to triananero for these images) and when him and Kageyama started working together, they most definitely were perfect together, as they balanced each-other out, which made them become an unstoppable duo or whatever they called them 6. the fact that they have matching jersey numbers 9 and 10 moving on to less canon stuff, there is a light novel of Haikyuu called Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! which probably isnt close to canon but Furudate was a part of it even though it wasn't written by him, so it's at least somewhat official 7. anyway according to shipping wiki there is a chapter where Kageyama feels "fluttery feelings at the bottom of his stomach" when Hinata texts him, it's on volume 8 chapter 1, I REALLY WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS BUT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE ONLINE. i searched countless tumblr posts and websites but i could only find chapter five and chapter three so im fully convinced this is lost media LMAOOOO 8. also in Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! apparently there's a part where Hinata daydreams about him and Kageyama eating under cherry blossom trees i just found that cute AS MUCH AS I WANNA SHOW YOU GUYS I LITERALLY CANNOT FIND ANYTHING OF THIS LIGHT NOVEL ANYWHERE i just know it's real, if I ever get my hands on it which I doubt, I'll share proof it exists btw AND THIS IS REALLY RANDOM AND SOMEONE WANTED ME TO INCLUDE THIS BUT 9. Basically there was a ad for deodorant a couple years back, collabing with Haikyuu, where you could buy deodorants to “smell like them” or whatever, some shippers believe it’s a Kagehina reference as they also advertised Kageyama and Hinatas scents together as some like matching couple thing

and then there's this

And I think I've said enough, there's way more you can find out about this ship, but I hope with this post you've learned something new or whatever... I MIGHT MAKE THIS A SERIES should i do kenhina next or kuroken ANYWAYS DISCLAIMER I didnt look too much into most of these things but I can gaurentee this stuff is true also this was just for fun and not serious but i hope you liked my little post!

[roughentumble]

so like, i would be interested to read a fic where movieverse!veddie meet up with comics!spidey, specifically a plot where venom and eddie are separated and venom bonds with peter in the meantime to get back to eddie.

theres a LOT to explore there, venom's perfect symbiosis with peter, the freedom he feels moving around using webslinging, the feeling that he's finally a true hero, maybe even being led astray from his original goal of reuniting with eddie. plus peter trying to work out how he feels about, you know, a giant head eating space monster(sorry V) hitching a ride. he's teaching venom all sorts of moral rules about what constitutes evil and villainy and rehabilitative justice and why you cant just eat petty criminals, things eddie had tried to explain but wasnt able to get through to V.

"WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HIT THEIR PARTNERS?" venom asks, always asking, always testing out peter's morals and trying to find where the line is.

"no. obviously nothing excuses something that terrible, but what if they had a bad childhood and that's what was modeld for them? what if they never got the therapy they needed to control their anger? what if they would change, given proper help? you have to give people chances to change."

venom thinks on this. "WHAT IF THEY GO TO THERAPY AND STILL HIT THEIR SPOUSE?"

"again, there's no excuse for abuse. but people backslide, people dont change all at once. and they have to want to change."

"IS EATING HEADS," venom asks, "NOT A TASTY MOTIVATION FOR CHANGE?"

peter groans and shakes his head. "no. no it isnt. and anyway, studies show that upping the punishment for crimes doesnt effect the crime rate whatsoever, because most crimes are spur-of-the-moment, or crimes of passion, where people aren't considering consequences. and if they are considering consequences, either any consequence is enough to dissuade them, or they find their situation untenable enough that they're willing to risk it. higher risk doesnt factor into the decision-making process, it just means people end up worse off."

venom thinks about this, too. really chews on it for a moment. "HUMANS," venom concludes, "DO NOT MAKE SENSE."

[porkcutletbowl44]

Brain surgery time.

this will contain spoilers for Far From Perfect if you are not caught up to the latest chapter, proceed with caution

This is a very indepth explanation of Simon's character in the fic and his entire influence and role.

This is a whole lot of yapping. I mean that, there's yapping about everything that revolves around Simon and a very deep dive about his character. So, if you don't wanna get into Simon's brain, just don't read. If you wanna yap about other characters and their flaws? Pop in my ask box. (Warning, dark topics are mentioned.)

----

I have never tried to write stuff like this before, and the mixed feedback has my brain hurting so much to try and fully capture and describe the train wreck going on in Simon's head.

I wanted to portray things that are never acknowledged, and how this literally does affect relationships. And what's a better way to do that than have Simon being the perfect candidate?

Simon's character is much more complex than his normally written personality, which is still somewhat kept in the fic. I struggle sometimes, because I have to stop and think what would Simon do, rather than a person with a healthy mindset about relationships think.

It was easier to write the pulling away part, commitment issues can exist while staying faithful, and that is very often self destructive behavior with a unfair reason "Oh, they would of left me anyways. This way, I won't get hurt." Or, "They won't get hurt because of me and my flaws."

Because yeah, Simon would distance himself for the safety of people he cares about.

But falling in love? That's tricky. I have lots of Simon memories back when everything was fine while in the present, he was very cold and and closed off, trying his hardest to get mama to hate him and not want to speak to him.

Why? Because (some, i.e. me) with abandonment issues push people away before either party get too close, get too personal (yes, this also brings in trust issues but i wouldn't go as far as SEVERE trust issues, more like having difficulty explaining these issues and/or emotions.) And yes, Simon thrives on a heavy mutual trust foundation.

Simon is a character that leans more towards practical, simple straight to the point actions. What would he know about relationships past the basic respect and care stuff? Respecting wishes and being a decent partner? Little to nothing after that.

He obviously told mama about his past, hense on their honeymoon she was very careful (and a side note I will say she was very careful and patient with him after learning everything) and he was generally honest about everything.

Why the change?

Simple, because how many people feel what Simon feels? Who ever talks about the part after being with someone for so long? Who talks about anything that's never mentioned?

I've been present for a lot of messy relationships, I've seen some crazy shit, I've helped some crazy shit, I've had to be in the middle of two people getting a divorce and let me tell you Simon and Mama's relationship isnt even the tip of the iceberg. The relationship they have as of now is a walk in the park, but that doesn't mean it's okay and healthy.

Simon is a literal nightmare, the worst ex you could ask for because of how terrible he is with everything.

Simon has his original lore; buried alive, torture, hook to the ribs, all his friends are dead, yada yada he's got it all.

Child abuse can cause a lot of different psychological damage: stutter problems, speech impediments in general, dissociative amnesia, anger issues, self harm, trust issues, and a whole list that stretches out twice around my house and shit and he OBVIOUSLY doesn't have these problems.

And obviously, nobody is walking away from that fine and dandy. And even more obviously, Simon had a fuck ton of therapy in order to keep working in the military. A stable mindset is a very high must in his line of work, so he's not suffering from crippling PTSD he just raw dogs it and doesn't let get to him and is generally just pissed about the nightmares coming every once in awhile.

Simon isn't some anxious riddled soldier, he's a professional on the battlefield and a complete new born to the relationship field. LOOK AT HIM, does he really look like he's had a long term stable relationship given everything he's been through? Constantly deployed on dangerous shit, deployed for long times, damn good at what he does, etc. How can someone like him have a long term relationship when all a partner would do is worry and wait around? So 100% his first time of a lot of things with mama in the marriage aspect.

So naturally, I spent hours thinking 'What trauma and emotional flaws could I give him that would stick around no matter what?'

There's some bits of his personality and influences in the games and comics that kinda remind me of teeny tiny bits of BPD at its smallest. So, I figured BPD would be perfect for him in the fic, the mood swings for the jealousy, the guilt, resentment, heart break, and then picking petty fights. Very obviously, Simon is BPD coded for the simple fact of all these changes in his life, and because I believe he would have a form of this disorder since it can be developed and inherited from genetics (his father, the asshole has some screws loose in his head and likely could have gotten it from him.)

But let's dig a little deeper into his head.

Abandonment. He hasn't had many to stay with him, they all die, either because of him or just in the battlefield. His father was abusive, his mom didn't appear to do much about it, then his brothers family was murdered. So yes, Simon is terrified of the thought of losing his love and family.

And feeling the things he felt one day? Yeah, that'd scare the fuck out of anyone feeling that shit for the first time. Imagine thinking that you don't love someone anymore, or vise versa, a normal person would talk about it with their partner, right? Yeah well not Simon.

Simon pushes Mama away, in fear of him getting hurt, or him hurting her.

The first chapter has been deleted and rewritten. So. Many. Times. I couldn't quite figure out how I wanted to play it. I'm a sucker for things that don't make sense. I like to come up with theories, to watch everything play out, to wait and see.

So, that's what I did. The other drafts I had was too straight forward and I felt like wasn't going to capture anyone's attention because I wanted people to think 'Why the fuck is Simon doing this?'

I wanted him complicated. So complicated that it would make so many people mad, why you may ask? Because I wanted people to try and understand what this feels like. Confused, angry that you don't understand. I wanted people to relate to Simon without them knowing. And for a few, I saw that I did. I wanted him extra flawed, make lots of mistakes and act on impulse that result in bad outcomes and then have him figure out how to fix it and come to terms with himself.

I often stress myself in deep thought that maybe I have over complicated this fic. I've over complicated it so much that people who did give it a chance have just kinda dipped because it's too much, there's little information (or a fuck ton) in massive chapters and they only stayed for the romance for Keegan (which I completely understand, I love to write Keegan but I also have ground to cover for Simon too.)

I think maybe some have forgotten this fic is about Simon and Keegan. It's about both of them trying to figure out what's going on. Yes, the fic is kinda about Simon and his feelings, but Keegan also has his own set of struggles, just like mama; fuck it, EVERYONE has struggles at this point.

Simon is a first time father and husband, he makes mistakes, mama makes mistakes, everyone does in the fic. Simon just has a very poor fashion of expressing himself and owning up to it (hence why he's so slow and hesitant to do anything)

Simon is in a way, a villain. He's not a justified one completely, and he's also not a psychopath given he's feeling a lot of guilt and sadness and overall feeling very shitty. Everyone has very different opinions, and I almost think that they are going to change the farther along we go.

I'm sorry if Simon's reasoning is boring. I'm sorry you were hoping for something grand and super seriously shocking and cliche that others would write but I wanted to strive for extremely different. I wanted to do things that people wouldn't even think about.

If I have forgotten anything, let's yap about it. Or, if you wanna yap about other characters, LETS DO IT.

[starryroe]

Hey im an aspec follower of urs and im really grateful for your aro post mourning aro people. This is gonna be a long vent post, so… im sorry for dumping this on you 😔

All the world views us as disposable and tragic fables and constantly gaslights us about our own lived truths. The goalpost for acceptance in the queer community doesnt even exist because so much of it is just built on a reappropriation of amatanormative standards and it really feels like there’s simply nowhere to go and nobody to turn to because no one thinks of us. Anyone who cant understand the language of desire is exiled from its community of speakers, and to me each day feels like ive been doomed to drift through some kind of purgatorial void for my entire life. We cant have our own language, culture, or history. People say oppression of aro and ace people isnt “as bad”, but that’s the thing, we’re not even allowed to describe our exclusion and silencing and erasure and abuse and tokenizing as “violence” at all. Perhaps due to a certain assumption of inevitability, or some belief that amatormativity is natural to an extent. And im really tired of being ridiculed and dismissed and of being pressured into relationships that would make me miserable. Im really tired of no one thinking it is worth their time or energy to understand my perspective on relationships and desire. Im really tired of being the butt of jokes about being single. Im really tired of being my friends’ second or third priority. Im really tired of feeling worthless and stupid. And mostly im just Tired. And i wish when people saw me they saw my pain and hurt for what they are instead of painting their own colors over it to fix me.

🫶

I hope you could find some solace in venting out your feelings to me. I understand a lot of this. I have had multiple wonderful relationships almost if not fully fall apart because I would not give someone the security of having a partner, and I have in the past gotten myself in relationships with the sole scope of not losing someone like that. Don't even have to say it but it didn't end well for anyone.

Our struggles are silent to the rest of the world. Most people don't know we exist and so could not even begin to think about how we're feeling. To the people to whom we exist we still can't be doing that bad because obviously the whole world doesn't know us. It is a struggle every identity who faces in invisibility knows.

But I don't think it's hopeless. Asexual activism has done great steps in the last few years and I am extremely hopeful that we aromantic can take the same. And together we can show ourselves to the whole world and be free.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

A while ago I had a very lovely conversation with @feyres-divorce-lawyer about Tamlin and the way his stans treat him and Feylin and Ive been having a lot of thoughts about that. Essentially, we talked about how Tamlin stans will often claim to be 'better' in some way than Rhysand stans because they dont excuse all of their faves actions but I mean, do they? like actually? I dont mean to generalize because I have seen people who actually dont excuse his actions, but theres an awful lot of people who have posted some variantion of "well, atleast i dont excuse tamlins actions 😊" when they have either previously posted or will go on to post some variantion of "ugh I cant believe feyre would break up with a man who did nothing but upset her, when he was trying so hard and struggling and his actions werent even that bad" or worse, some variation of "feyre's sooooo stupid, if some handsome fae lord wanted me to just wear beautiful dresses and be his pretty little wifeling I would do as he says 😍😍" like hey dawg, I hate to tell you this but thats just straightup misogyny. You can indulge in your fantasies of being a rich magical victorian guy's tradfwife without implying that other women are stupid for not wanting that. Also if you think that and also complain about acomaf and feysand being bad because its just a self-indulgent billionaire's wife fantasy, please consider that you basically want the same thing but with a different aesthetic. Which isnt bad in it of itself obviously, I just find this kind of hypocrisy very annoying

The way I see it, theres a couple reasons why the (positive) discourse around Tamlin is like this:

Tamlin stans get harassed for liking him or even just debunking blatantly false claims from Rhysand stans (such as the claim that Tamlin said Feyre looked better when she lost weight while Rhysand said she looked better when she gained weight which seems oddly persistant, even though I dont think Tamlin ever commented on her weight in acotar, and Im pretty sure that he only commented on how thin she was in acomaf in the context of how bad she looked), so they get very defensive about him, which is understandable

Tamlin is out of character in acomaf which leads a lot of people to dismiss his actions that upset Feyre because "acotar!Tamlin wouldnt do that though!" and like, thats true and I get it but it doesnt really matter when we're talking about their relationship and Feyre's decision to leave him from an in-universe perspective. Like, imagine if someone in your life opened up about how their previously wonderful partner started to exhibit some abusive behaviours and you were like "nooooo theyre just being out of character right now, its fine, you should stay with him". And obviously its different when its real people vs fictional characters, but my point here is that its nonsensical to earnestly engage with this relationship from and in-universe standpoint only to then use an out-of-universe thing that doesnt actually factor into their relationship to explain why it fell apart

Tamlin is less bad than Rhysand, even in acomaf, and excuses for his behaviour sound less ridiculous to people who think more critically about these books, which most Tamlin stans do; "he locked her up in his manor, but only because she was going to get herself in real danger" sounds a lot less ridiculous than "he sexually assaulted her for months on end, but only in order to protect her from drawing Amarantha's attention (when she wasnt even paying attention to her in the first place)", but again, Feyre is still allowed to be upset by that. I feel like theres this line of thinking among certain Tamlin stans where theyre like "yeah, tamlin locked feyre up in the manor and it rightfully upset her, but later on in the series rhysand locked her in a magical shield that prevented her from having any physical interacting with the outside world and she was fine with it, so she shouldve been fine with whattamlin did" and its like no!! If we're using real-world standards, which I understand we are from acomaf onward, then Feyre does not need any kind of justification for breaking up with someone. Tamlin couldve been the most wonderful and perfect and non-traumatized boyfriend ever and it wouldve been perfectly fine for her to be like "hey man, im not really vibing with this" and leave

And this I think is the most important thing because its what the two previous points ultimately stem from; they buy into the foundation of the narrative that these books present, which is that Feyre needs a man in her life, she needs to pick one of these two toxic guys or else her life isnt complete and she wont ever recover from her trauma, she needs good sex and romantic love in order to stop being broken. And I get it, you do need to buy into the narrative in order to properly engage with it, but whats the point of being critical of the misogyny in these books if youre not going to take a step back and realize when youre just accepting it?

And this is where I would have to start getting into the misogynistic baggage thats attached to mainstream romance as a genre and how trying to do all those typical steamy m/f romance tropes (the MOST dominant man, sexually inexperienced fmc, dubcon/noncon, rough sex, etc etc) while also trying to be feminist is setting yourself up for failure as an author, and setting your audience up for failure when they discuss your work, but Im getting tired and this is a pretty long post so Im gonna stop here. If you are interested in my further thoughts on this, idk maybe send me an ask and I'll get back to it. For now, I'll say that I dont think its impossible to write an m/f romance thats feminist, but know for a fact that its impossible for SJM

[blkkizzat]

Hey pookieeeee do you have any advice for heartbreak? And can I vent a little and ask for your advice? :]

I never expected it to hurt as much as it does, but in the end, it was half my fault for believing in his empty promises. I called it from the start that this would happen. I knew yet I still said yes. It was a long-distant relationship, and I told him the stakes were high, but he promised over and over that he wouldn't leave me. That I would be the one to do it before he ever does it. I let my guard down for him to break my heart. :(

I can't seem to get my mind off it, and it hasn't even been 24 hours. It just hurts so much. I'm just waiting for his "Let's break up" text. It's not official yet until he says it, but I can sense that it's coming. And I'm just wishing he would stay. I don't know what to do, kind of? Like he took such a big part of me, I don't know how to feel or act anymore. Like I lost myself? Any advice for me? :((((

awe babes i'm so sorry! don't feel bad either its only been 24hrs! that is totally normal why you would still be thinking about it constantly.

But I think there's a few key things here to keep in mind.

1) Nothing is final until its final. You may feel like its coming but you haven't broken up yet. It's unfair (to him but mostly yourself cause its easy to drive yourself crazy with worry) to assume what he will or won't do. 2) If he does break up with you, if you think he would do it over TEXT of all things, than he's no good anyway. Lol thinking back of that old Youtube spoof but the rule is: you dont text msg breakup. Thats a piece of shit move and you deserve way better than someone who would be that cold!

3) Have you heard "lifetime, season or reason" in terms of relationships? Basically, no matter the length of time a person (any relationship not just romantic) is in your life. Every relationship you have will have purpose in your life and a lesson or lessons you can grow from. Not to be morbid but nothing lasts forever, I'm not speaking only of breakups either as even two people committed to each other for their entire lives will eventually have to say goodbye when either passes away. That's why it's not the end of a relationship that's important but what you can take away from the relationship, how you will continue to grow and evolve as a person that matters. Even a toxic abusive relationship can teach you the value of your worth and make you a stronger person on the other side (that isnt to say you should stay in one obviously but that there can be benefits and lessons to everything). So if your relationship with him does end look at it in terms of "these were the qualities/moments i liked and these are want i didn't and from that how does this change what I am looking for in my next relationship."

4) You are still you! You were you before you met him, while you were with him and you will be you after, if you break up. You do give pieces of yourself to partners in relationships but you have the power and agency to take that back. It isn't there's to keep, loving someone is a privilege and if someone violates trust or cannot treat you with the love and respect you deserve then it is your right to take it back. Of course it will hurt, and it won't be easy but honestly its better to break it off as you the person you are with should be tripping over themselves with enthusiasm to be with you.

5) If you do breakup, the best thing is to go cold turkey. I am not sure about if you share friend groups or how awkward it would be to block or remove him from social media/text/call, but if you can do that do that. It doesnt sound like you will be able to remain friends without it being hurtful to you and if he breaks up with you, he doesnt deserve to downgrade you so he can have all the emotional support of a romantic relationship without the responsibility or commitment cause essentially thats what the dynamic will be. You will never be able to be normal friends when a one sided breakup happens.

[compassionatereminders]

hi, i hope its okay if i vent here cause i know shits been rough for you lately (wishing you the best btw, which ik simply saying that doesnt magically make things better but hope yk what i mean)

i sent an asks a few months ago about having empathy for someone for the first time and really struggling to come to terms with it, how to deal with new overwhelming emotions and the like (i believe i also mentioned them being in an abusive situation at the time, which was a whole other complicated feeling to empathize with someones pain and to take it internally on levels i had never experienced or was capable of fathoming before in my entire life)

currently struggling with that person again, they left their original abusive situation but have entered a new complex one, as this person isnt intentionally shitty but they're rich, white passing and extremely privileged and out of touch, like truly they don't grasp my friends trauma and why it makes things hard for them (friend has gone through severe abuse and childhood trauma, neglect and homelessness just to say the light ones, its truly awful what they've been through) despite having some trauma of their own and i truly fucking despise them with my entire being

my friend is abusing alcohol and debating killing themselves due to this person dangling ending their relationship over my friends head --- (which is another thing thats complex and hurting, my friend never told me they were dating which like they totally dont have to obviously!! but they continuously insisted to me they were only friends, before suddenly revealing through a screenshot of their partners text that they were together, which they did with their previous abuser so like having it happen twice was icky feeling for some reason despite the fact ik they don't owe me that information at all, i dont care they hid it i just feel hurt and confused if i had done something to warrant not being trusted with that information but thats a whole other can of worms) --- due to them struggling to do something the person wants, because my friend has trauma what the person is requesting is hard and my friends explained why its hard and hurts them, they've thrown up daily from the stress and this person knows that but somehow doesnt grasp why its causing my friend such distress

i feel utterly suffocated by the entire situation and its put my life on full stop because i cant just leave my friend to deal with this themselves, but theres nothing i can say or do that can help them because they're deeply in love and won't break up with their partner even though the stress is physically ruining them. i feel hopeless and unable to do anything, i encourage them to talk to me because really i wanna be there for them but i feel so scared all the time that somethings gonna happen to them which makes me need to listen even more because their other friend is horribly abusive and contributed to their trauma, so i don't wanna leave my friend alone. i don't know how to deal with empathizing with their pain and not being able to stop it feels like its killing me cause now im also throwing up multiple times a day, genuinely debating drug relapse to cope with it all and i can't sleep properly anymore and only sleep on specific 4 hour intervals throughout the day next to my phone so i can be on constant standby for the friend and i know its not healthy and if they knew it was like this they'd never tell me whats wrong again (which i really dont want i truly honest to god wanna be there for them), i feel like no matter how i go about it theres no winning in this situation and honestly i wanna die from it all which sounds so silly cause my friend is going through SO much worse and here i am going waaah this hurts me!! i just eugh, i don't know what to do. which i guess i know what to do, but i don't wanna do any of it i've never cared about someone like i care about them and the thought of leaving them to sort it out themselves feels like the end of the world, even though i know they're also a sociopath and don't feel empathy towards me which is also a new shitty feeling cause now i know how people feel around me. this is exhausting i don't know how people with empathy deal with it especially you kat!! if i remember correctly you mentioned being very empathetic, it's amazing you're able to handle having empathy and running a blog where people often dump stuff in your inbox (which uh is the very same thing im doing now, sorry!) ok i got it all out of my system i'm gonna go take a nap and hope the problem is solved tomorrow (it wont be but a bitch can hope!!) thank you for being a space where i could word vomit my brain out, i really hope things get better for you and that your eye gets sorted out <3

No matter how unwell your friend is, you're allowed to have boundaries and limits. And while I get the desire to be there and do everything you can because you care about your friend, you will not be able to continue pouring from an empty vessel. This is not a sustainable situation. You neglecting yourself and not sleeping and getting physically ill and wanting to die is not an acceptable consequence of your friend being in a toxic relationship without being able to change their situation. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I strongly encourage you to establish some boundaries here and stand by them. You do not lose your right to have boundaries when a loved one is mentally unwell and if you do not prioritize your own mental well-being, you will not be able to continue being there for you friend