#even if I don't really draw them expressing romantic emotions

[skell-core]

[atzual]

what your ateez bias says about you

if you take this seriously, that's on you. i'm just doing this for fun.

tw: heavy topics, language, roasting

*****

hongjoong: right. how's the desire to impress people and overworking yourself doing? i feel like what draws you in is his resilience, and that he is very dependable. you probably had a lot of moments where you were left to your own devices to work on something major, and are no stranger to burnout. you might be the kind of person to talk about your achievements and your work and everything you do a lot, maybe to seek validation (and maybe to cement that you have something others don't). on a softer note, you probably have a wide range of skills in a field you are interested in, and experiment a lot. generally are not afraid to go outside of norms to figure something out. so to see the qualities of a leader and innovator in joong is both comforting and inspiring to you. (bonus: you probably have a thing for clips of joong in the studio, don't you?)

seonghwa: you feel like you don't have anyone who you can actually trust with your thoughts and feelings, huh? people talk at you, not to you. you are a natural care-giver, are quick to give advice (also to bottle up someone else's negativity), often ignoring yourself. you might have lost the feeling of 'home' or of 'small but certain happiness', and might have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. on a brighter note, you are someone who can process emotions a lot more deeply than others and if there is anyone who can actually put themselves in another's shoes, it's you. i think hwa is a safe space to you, precisely because it is not all sunshine and rainbows. you connect with his battles, growth, and how he is accepting change and trying to find balance. (bonus: him getting excited about something is legit your therapy isn't it)

yunho: many acquaintances, few friends? i think you legitimately stopped believing in love. at least the mushy 'at first sight' and 'meet cute' and 'soulmates' kind of love. might be because of family-related things, or because of romantic relationships, but trust is a problem for you. you probably think negatively about yourself quite a bit and/or have/had a more pessimistic mindset. on the positive, i think you're really loyal when you find your people, and want to see them happy. you connect with people beyond love, you make connections that are made on living life together and going through things together. i think this is also what drew you to yunho - his perseverance, resilience, ability to smile in the face of hardship, but also his ability to navigate a lot of emotions as they come and deal with them in a healthy way. (bonus: his small expressions of affection/acts of kindness make you melt, right?)

yeosang: you've been through quite a lot, haven't you? i think you try to laugh a lot of it off or treat it lightly, but the demons eat away at you sometimes. you might be someone who burned out in/after high school, and generally does not have a good experience with school. might feel lonely even when you are not alone, sometimes just choosing to float in your imagination for comfort. often act tough or not quite like yourself to appear more like the you you have in your head. i think in part you kind of want to learn how to love the world like yeosang, and are really touched by his sweetness and his humor. you are a fighter and despite it all, do stay true to yourself and your values, and this is something that you find and adore in yeosang. you are drawn in by his ability to follow his dream, and his heart of gold. maybe your scars will turn golden too. (bonus: you probably have a mild obsession with his one-liners)

san: how are your boundaries, broken like the wall? you probably have some trouble with setting and/or maintaining boundaries, and so sometimes have people treading over you. you might feel like a side character in your own life, and so turn bitter and internalize a lot of negative energy. honestly on a brighter note i think you really do try hard for others, and go out of your way to try and make dreams happen for others, because it makes them and you happy. you cheer, you support and you truly show that you are on a loved one's team. I feel that what draws you to san is how he transformed himself in a healthy manner, and how he maintains a very clear circle of those he trusts, and is no stranger to kindly setting rules in place while still remaining sweet and respectful. he is a safe space for you both because he makes you smile with his stories and jokes, but also because he is adamant on keeping things in order. (bonus: his reaction to the merch donation story lives rent free in your mind)

mingi: got some problems with regulating emotions, maybe? be it hiding them until you burst or not knowing how to express them, i think this might be a challenge for you. you might have been exposed to something that made you believe that it is a sign of weakness or a risk. at the same time, you are logical, damn good at what you do, and when you face hard times you bounce back, even if it takes some time. i think you and mingi share the introspectiveness, and you like how thoughtful he is. you probably find comfort in how he shares happiness with others, and how he seeks closeness with loved ones. at the same time, there is something about how he transforms on stages that resonates with you - the power and confidence is something you want to work on and find more of in yourself. (bonus: your will never stop thinking about mingi's creative process monologues + freestyle mingi)

wooyoung: do people tell you you have a big personality, or that you are 'a lot' sometimes? i feel like you have your way of working, your way of thinking, but might have a hard time actually communicating that or adapting to different social environments. it might be because you're headstrong, or because you are in constant fight or flight mode and so are more rigid. at the same time i think you are diligent and very detailed with what you do, and are in fact attentive to others and might notice things others don't. i feel like what you admire in wooyoung is his ability to connect with others, while not losing himself or his values. you feel for his hardships, and he helps you learn how to be more loving and more open with expressing and accepting love. he is very much your candle. (bonus: you cried because of his interview + dance in that one show, didn't you?)

jongho: how many thoughts are spinning in your head? you might be an overthinker, slightly misanthropic, and on bad days might sink to having a victim mindset and ask the universe 'why me?'. you might have had to grow up too fast, or were controlled a lot as a kid - either way, your understanding and experience of freedom and maturity might be warped. at the same time you are reliable and are able to call things out for what they are. you might have also put a positive spin on the negatives and either used them as inspiration, grew from them, or taken a skill from them that you then generalized. i think jongho's humor and innate warmth is your haven, and his continuous self-development grounds you and motivates you to also try your best and think of ways to find the good in situations. i feel you might also resonate with his occasional shyness. (bonus: you often think about his emotional strength even when he talks about his concerns, don't you?)

[ch6sos]

more nanami headcanons (but as your bf !!!)

a/n: hey everyone! thank you for all the support on my last headcanon post. i never really expected it to go far, but somehow it did. it was my first time ever posting a "fic" you know? i was cringing the entire time but it was worth it, for you guys :) since it did well, here is some more!

i used third person by the way so you're referred to as his partner. tried to make this as gender neutral as possible cuz i love you guys

cw: slight suggestiveness (ooooh... but it's not extreme you sillies)

Extreme gentleman. He respects their wishes all the time. If they want space, he will give it to them. He will give them whatever they ask for.

Pays on the first date. He forbids their significant other from doing anything. He will pay because he wants to. He truly wants to, not because he feels obligated to.

Would be kind of shy about doing anything at first, especially Teen!Nanami. Even after a long period of dating, he would always ask before showing affection because he does not know if they feel comfortable or okay with it.

"May I please hold your hand? Are you okay with that?

"...We've been dating for a month."

"I know, but, I must ask, you know? In case it makes you uncomfortable.”

When he (as well as they) grow comfortable, the affection begins to become more "intense." Not intense, but he does it more frequently. He holds their hand more, gives more kisses, more hugs...

He would give the best hugs. He is a cuddle machine. He appears to hate them, but does he truly? Exactly. No, he does not. He loves them so much. He wishes he could give up his job to spend the entire day cuddling with his partner.

"Stay close to me, please."

"I don't plan on moving."

"Good. I wish life were like this every day." He hums, squeezing them gently.

Kisses with him are never short; even if he is late. He never leaves his significant other hanging. He craves and desires to kiss them. He enjoys giving his partner a passionate kiss, drawing them near to his chest, and placing his hand behind their head, leaving a memory of the kiss that is warm, tender, and unforgettable.

Genuinely feels like he could share his emotions with his significant other. Yeah, he is still serious, because it's who he is. He was raised in a family surrounded by serious people. Though, throughout the relationship, he learns how to express his emotions better. He feels like he genuinely could reveal all the emotions he has stored in him already around his significant other. If he's feeling upset, he would genuinely express that to them. If something ticked him off, he would sit down and talk to his partner about it.

Despite all of that, he still is more of a listener than a rambler. He prefers putting others first before him, and that also goes for who gets to talk. He enjoys looking at their partner with a loving gaze, as they talk nonsense. Whether it is about the new show they picked up, their day, or the latest gossip, he loves listening.

He would write love letters. I do not care if you find that corny. He is corny. He will write love letters. Nanami is romantic. I don't care what anyone says he is a romance god who does not get to show it off as much. He loves writing lengthy letters, showing the love he has for his partner. Describes their personality and how much he cherishes them, how much he thinks they're beautiful, and how he thinks that they are the stars in the night sky that stand out.

Playing with his partner's hair is (one of) his favorite ways to show affection. If they have long hair, he loves to try styling it and ruffling it. If they have type 4 coily hair, he starts learning how to take care of it so he can try protective hairstyles on them.

Another thing is lazy Sundays. He loves Sundays. Even though he has to go to stupid work the next day. The sensation of them being in his arms when he wakes up, his arms encircling their bodies firmly, the sheets covering them. He enjoys gently leaning in to kiss their shoulders, the top of their head, and the back of their neck. When they began to stir, he pulled them closer— not wanting to get out of bed. All he wants is to spend Sunday morning in bed with his lovely partner.

Gets flushed at compliments, but it is not as obvious. When their significant other says he is handsome, he smiles softly and thanks them, but on the inside, he is freaking out.

Cooks breakfast in bed for them. Always. He loves getting up just to make his significant other the tastiest breakfast ever; it is his specialty. He prepares a warm beverage and some fruit-flavored crepes topped with Nutella and whipped cream.

Before meeting them, Nanami was kind of an insomniac. He would not sleep; hence why he has dark circles. But after meeting them, he started sleeping more. Despite everything, he continues to get up before his partner to prepare breakfast for them.

Not only that but when he was stressed, he would drink his sorrows away rather than confide in someone. Since the fan book claims that he enjoys drinking, I think that, unfortunately, one of his coping mechanisms is doing exactly that. However, since meeting them, he has kept everything under control. He learned to express himself more freely and genuinely strives to avoid suppressing his emotions.

Bro is a simp. His mouth drops when he sees his partner dressed. His jaw falls to the floor. He is stuttering a bit too. I know he is supposed to be calm and collected but he would NOT be calm and collected around his significant other, people. He would go feral and be a simp for them.

He says I love you first. It was quite unexpected and seemed to come out of nowhere. He just blurted it out without waiting for the perfect moment or anything else. It was probably a simple morning, cuddling with him on the bed as usual, looking at each other fondly, and he said, "You know how much I adore you, right?"

When he realizes what he is saying, his eyes widen slightly, but then crinkle up when they tell him they love him as well.

He will do whatever his partner says. They could be 5'2 or around his height; he is a certified simp who immediately attends to their partner's needs.

Even if that includes forcibly doing silly TikTok trends. He pretends to hate it but he doesn't. He is a munch or whatever Ice Spice said.

He enjoys nuzzling his partner. Guys, I do not care. This man is a bundle of love wrapped up in a stoic-looking man. He enjoys sneaking up behind them, entrapping them in his arms, and nuzzling their neck and the top of their head. Wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And he utters sweet nothings. And leaves tiny, delicate kisses. He also wraps his arms around their waist.

He sometimes becomes overwhelmed, so he requires his own space. However, he does not simply distance himself from his partner. He properly expresses that sometimes he needs his own space. He still adores them but also needs some space. He does not want to cause conflict or misunderstanding because he is not that type of person.

Will be there for them when they are sick, even if they believe they look disgusting. He does not care; he believes they are the most beautiful sight he has ever seen in his entire life (which was cut short) (sorry, I am still coping). He will be there to care for them whether they are throwing up, crying, or whatever.

He cooks for them, he gives them medicine, he cuddles them even though he knows he may get sick...

And he does. Every single time. And he acts like a baby too.

Adorable tall, strong man Nanami acts like a baby when he's sick. He needs to be looked after completely. He starts off coughing (like a grandfather or a father). So his cough is obnoxious and loud, and he frowns. He then looks up at his partner, his expression reminiscent of a puppy who has been denied treats. It is an adorable sight. It's a turnaround from his usual chill demeanor. He then spends the entire day in bed, despite his attempts to do his routine tasks like cleaning and cooking for them, which they forbid. And he pouts about it like a big baby.

"Please let me take care of you. You took care of me, so now it's my turn."

"No, you're sick, Kento."

"That doesn't matter." He frowns.

“You always take care of me anyway.”

“But it is my honor to take care of you, my love.”

and then they end up having seven mental breakdowns

If they bring home a stray one day, he is reluctant on taking it but you know damn well he'd be like one of those dads that is hesitant about taking it at first but then ends up cuddling it the next day and then begging for them to not take it to the shelter.

Genuine sweetheart. Holds the door for their significant other, makes arrangements for them when they can not find the time, prepares meals for them, and if they come from a different culture, he starts to learn about it, particularly if they are involved in it.

...This guy is in no way aggressive. I have seen people mischaracterize him as a dominant "daddy" or whatever because he is serious, and Mappa blessed us with the hair-pulling scene. That scene was primarily caused by rage at Haruta's thoughtless harm to those around him and the fact that the man was going against two young girls. He would never act in such a way toward their partner, particularly when they were in bed. He is more of a gentle lover and is afraid of going too far.

Needs are needs, so if they ask, he will comply with some hesitation. He never seemed to get into it, so he tells them that.

That does not mean he is not into some stuff. Bro be praising. He praises hella and talks them through it.

"My love, doing so well for me."

"So beautiful, so gorgeous, all sprawled out for me like this."

“You’re mine. Until the end of time, angel.”

“God. My love, my everything. You drive me wild, you know that?”

“Eyes on me, sweetheart. Want to see how breathtaking you are from here.” All in his deep, ragged and needy voice.

that made me cringe

help I'm crying at the cringe so sorry

His favorite dates with them involve going to a restaurant. Nanami knows some hidden gems, so he enjoys taking them to restaurants where they can eat delicious food. Being a food enthusiast, it goes without saying that he is aware of the good and bad places to go. Because of Nanami's exquisite taste, they have never had to worry about their food.

As I previously stated, he prefers traditional nicknames such as sweetheart, my love, darling, angel, and beloved. I do not see him calling his significant other "baby," "baby girl," or whatever; I believe he finds it cringe-worthy. This is self-indulgent oops.

Sings softly to them while they are sleeping. He sings a song while they are sleeping because he is too ashamed of his singing. His vocals are not bad; he is just shy. (Little did he know, they had several recordings of him singing in secret...)

He will sacrifice his blanket in bed just to wrap it around his partner if they're cold. Bro would give them 90004868787893 pillows, and 8 blankets if they said they were cold.

He exaggerates things. And when I say he exaggerates, I mean he goes to great lengths to win his partner over. If they enter a new niche, he buys *everything*. On date nights, he gives them large bouquets if they like that, and he treats them as if they were royalty.

"You didn't need to get me this entire figure collection from *series*... I feel so bad."

"Well, do not worry, I enjoy buying these things for you. I see how happy you are, and it immediately warms my heart.”

Arguments with him are not bad. He truly never gets upset to the point of yelling because that is not who he is—he is not a guy who yells and he does not want to cause trauma to people in general. Again, though, he seems composed, and it might be frightening. But he then does something right away that causes his partner to instantly give in. Bro could just breathe and they're like "OKAY" and yeah. I understand. I would fold so hard bro.

His love languages include quality time and acts of service. He loves spending every single second with his partner and is immediately angry at the world when he has to work overtime and can not have more time with them. He enjoys taking them on dates or simply staying at home on lazy days. He loves spending time with them. Furthermore, he expresses his love by doing things for his partner, such as assisting them with their work (if he could), giving them massages when they are stressed, cooking for them all the time, washing their dishes even when they beg him not to, eating the olives off of their plate if there are any... He is the king of acts of service.

He is not good at taking pictures. His large thumb keeps covering the lens, so they have to force him to take the pictures repeatedly. Despite this, he never becomes irritated because he gets butterflies just watching his partner pose in their gorgeous clothes.

Speaking of photos, he already had an Instagram account beforehand. (As much as he hates to admit it, Gojo is sometimes the one who takes the aesthetic photos on his page.) He was not active, but he has a few posts on it, but as soon as they got a partner, oh lord Jesus. Bro will post on his Instagram story every single second.

Even though this happens, he prefers to make his relationship private. Private but known, you know? He wants the world to know that he is lucky enough to date them, but still not reveal information or talk about his relationship to anyone. So he would take those private but not secret type relationship photos.

Captions are always complimenting them and are extremely poetic. He's just that guy.

"saw a breathtaking sight. the beach is also there."

“every aspect of you captivates me, body and soul.”

"we are all floating around with the stars and the universe, and it somehow led me to you."

cringes again

Off-topic but not, Nanami would NEVER, and I mean... NEVER, go for his student if he was a professor, even if their relationship is legal. I can't stand it when people do that. He understands that there's a power dynamic behind it and it's low-key creepy how much people enjoy it.

Along with stepcest. Why do so many of you like stepcest? Nanami is not touching any of his family members. I'm scared to say this and this is probably hella controversial for this app but he's not touching anyone even if they're not technically related.

Age gap too. He would not date someone extremely younger than him. He is not going to be 40 and dating a 19-year-old. I just can't see it.

Other than that, he does not have any preferences when it comes to appearance. He has turn-offs, but not in terms of appearance. He could care less about what someone looks like.

In terms of personality, he dislikes negative people. He despises that. He would feel guilty if he became involved with someone unconcerned about the world. He also dislikes immaturity and pettiness.

He prefers people who bring positivity into his life, you know? Someone much more outgoing than he is, but still a mature person with whom he could relate. The more extroverted they are the more they bring out of him. As long as they're not so overwhelming to him.

Even so, he simply enjoys people for their kindness and consideration. How willing they are, how passionate and motivated they are. He simply wants someone who is driven by their goals.

Texts them dad memes he found on Facebook.

“Look at it, it’s funny.”

“...lol”

“You laughed at least a little bit right?

“...No?”

“Okay. I apologize :(“

LAUGH AT HIS FACEBOOK MEMES PLEASE. THEY ARE NOT THAT BAD PLEASE.

When he met their family, he appeared calm and collected, but he was nervous. He was fidgety on the way to their house, something he had only ever done in high school. He experiences anxiety about whether he would be accepted by them or whether he would be good enough.

“Wow, I have never seen you this fidgety before.”

"I apologize. It’s just… What your family might think worries me. I am not sure if I will meet their expectations. I simply want to let them know how much I genuinely adore you for who you are and how much I want to be yours forever."

And they are like ??? because this man is perfect? He is the dream man anyone could ever ask for.

Do not take this man mini golfing bro he sucks ass… I know you guys think just because he is partly white he will immediately be good at golf but no. He sucks ass.

He would be protective, but not excessively so. He is devoted to his partner and will intervene quickly if someone upsets them, intimidating them with his composed demeanor.

"I advise you to distance yourself from them before I regretfully have to take action, okay? We wouldn’t want that, right?” Dumbledore says, calmly. While puffing out his chest. And mewing. And mogging. Whatever that means.

Okay fine, he will watch Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, Love & Hip-Hop, etc with them. Pretends to hate it but he is invested.

Imagine just going to the bedroom and just seeing him in his reading glasses, sitting up against the headboard, immersed in the book in front of him. The only thing he has on is a simple white tee that does justice to his figure and pajama pants.

Yup feral.

Tries to get into the things their partner likes just so he can understand when they yap about certain things. He just wants them to talk about everything to him. He finds it adorable.

Allows their partner to give him a skincare treatment. He then begins to do it himself. Well, he would only use one product—a cleanser. That being said, he started using toner, serum, and other skincare products. And, yes, he allows them to put ridiculously cute facemasks on his face. And the cute little star pimple patches.

Do not take that man ice skating or rollerblading either. He would be so hesitant on going because he sucks at it. He just goes because his significant other told him to. He fell immediately.

“This sucks.”

“Stop sulking and hold my hand.”

“...You don’t even need to ask.” He says, all giddy.

Please show him the love and care he deserves.

When he works out he will flex on them on purpose. He thinks it is all funny to be all yummy. It is NOT funny.

Yup, he does push-ups while they’re underneath, each time he goes down he gives them a peck.

Yeah so imagine that with him in his compression shirt and shorts…

I could read your mind, people. You are not slick.

This man will not let his significant other have insecurities. He is the type to leave notes all over the bathroom, and every mirror, with encouraging words. Praising their looks and more. Plus he shows in…other ways (wink) how much he appreciates how beautiful he thinks they are.

If they are unhappy, he will truly be devastated. He is miserable when he sees them upset, so he does everything in his power to cheer them up. Whether that’s cooking something for them, taking care of them, trying to make them laugh, getting them something from the store, or sitting down and talking to them about their problems, he needs to make them feel happy.

When he drives, he would not put his hand on his partner’s thigh. He would much rather grab their hand, and put it on his lap, as he listens to them hum along to the radio. He purposely moves the mirror slightly toward them, just so he can see how pretty they are through the mirror. He also looks at them with a slight smile at every stop-light, occasionally leaving small pecks on their face.

Does not mind if they steal his clothes. Go on then silly. He could care less. He thinks it’s cute as hell.

Would teach them how to do things. For example, he will teach them to play an instrument if they do not already, especially if he knows how. He looks like a lovesick fool as he watches them replicate what he did. Unable to resist the urge, he kisses them without reason.

“What was that for?”

"I could not hold back. You are very tempting."

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes. You are everything I think about and want."

Butterflies all around people.

His only red flag is that sometimes he may prioritize work over his relationship. He unfortunately gets into the stress of work and begins to grind more at work. Call him out and he gets back into his senses.

Buys more storage space for his Samsung S24 Ultra to retrieve more pictures of them. His camera roll is nearly full. Just because of his significant other, his camera roll increased from roughly 150 images to over 13,000 images.

When he comes home from work, he immediately collapses on the couch or their shared bed, on top of them. He then looks like a sleepy puppy.

“Someone’s tired.”

“I hate overtime.”

“I know you do. I cooked something for you.”

“I could have just cooked for the both of us…”

“But I knew you’d come all tired from work. So no.”

“That doesn't matter, you know? I love taking care of you. Just to see that pretty smile on your face.” He pouts, once again.

He ends up making it up to them. You can interpret that however you want.

As soon as this man sees them in formal attire (or in general) it is OVER. His jaw is on the bottom of the earth, his eyes are slightly widened, a blush on his face.

“I have no words. God, I don't know how someone could get even more impossibly perfect, yet here you are, darling. No matter how many times I see you, you still manage to take my breath away.”

yup heart attack

Prepare for so many compliments daily. He talks like a true romance book. None of that Colleen Hoover stuff.

Talks about his partner like a true gentleman. He's not like those types of guys who just talk about their significant other as if they're his property. No. He talks about them as if they are an art piece.

Overall, he just loves his partner so, so much. He expresses it in a variety of ways, from taking care of them—to telling them every single second of the day. In his own words,

"Your presence in my life is like a breath of fresh air, keeping my heart full and content. I love you more than anyone could ever fathom, and I promise you, you have my heart for eternity."

i love him </3 NANMINPLEAEE BE RELALRHABADHDJSKDHSNEB

[aihoshiino]

chapter 166 thoughts

As of chapter 166, Oshi no Ko has finished a roughly four-and-a-half year run started back in 2020. While there's some speculation about an epilogue or some extra content in volume 16 when it drops, this is where the main story ends. And you know what that means!!!

OSHI NO KO HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED WITHOUT ADDRESSING OR ACKNOWLEDGING THE FACT THAT RUBY KISSED HER BROTHER IN CHAPTER 143

please understand that this is FUCKING BOGUS

I'll probably do a longer post on this subject specifically, but my main critique of 143 when the chapter dropped was that while I liked the individual beats in it and I was really glad to see Akasaka finally addressing this tension bubbling underneath Aqua and Ruby's relationship, the immediate swerve away from showing us the aftermath of that kiss felt to me like an admission that the story was going to needlessly draw this out even more. Now that the story has ended and we can see that moment had literally no impact on the plot or even the character dynamics, I'd like to revise that statement - it feels like an admission of compromise. It feels like crumbs thrown to AquRuby fans to tempt them to keep reading and to stir up the waters of the ship wars, so people would keep reading and stay invested in the manga right to the very end. But most of all, it feels deeply disrespectful to both Aqua and Ruby as characters. Rather than exploring their feelings and giving both of them interiority and complexity in relation to incest or even just fucking acknowledging that the kiss had happened and letting their dynamic evolve, the series just memory holes the entire event and asks that you do too. Rather than letting Ruby have any development whatsoever as pertains to that relationship or, god forbid, let a female character move on romantically from the male lead, the series ends with her feelings so up in the air that I literally could not tell you what she thinks of Aqua by the time he dies.

ANYWAY… FINAL CHAPTER. BREATHES OUT VERY HARD.

I really can't believe it's taken us until the final chapter to actually deal with Ruby's grief over Aqua lol. We got a snippet of it last chapter but it was so brief that it really just felt like a tease. I also just think it's kind of bizarre that we're spending this little time on Ruby having feelings about Aqua's death to the extent that I have no idea how or when she found out about it.

It's also kind of hard to feel particularly strongly about Ruby's grief when the chapter doesn't really bother to explore it all that much. It's just a montage of Ruby quite literally Screaming, Crying and Throwing Up while Akane dispassionately narrates it all. The art also doesn't really help in terms of connecting with the emotions at play - I usually really like Mengo's expression work and the way she depicts extreme emotions but this all just felt like of… I don't know how else to put it. Goofy??? Is that an insane thing to say about Ruby grieving her brother???

Idk, something about both the panelling and just the extreme on-the-noseness of Ruby, again, literally Screaming, Crying Throwing Up while she's wearing a Burning cosplay Just In Case You, The Audience, Didn't Get It only for her to abruptly be done crying with no exploration or insight as to what's going on in her head that allows her to move forward.

Honestly, this is kind of the issue with everyone in the cast. The resolution is just sort of "Aqua died and we were sad about it but then we stopped being sad". I know what the story is trying to go for here - it's trying to express that even when you're in pain, life goes on and so you have to find a way to go on with it. But the result is that we spend all this time oogling at their pain without spending equivalent or even meaningful time on their recovery process.

It feels both excessive and undercooked at the same time and I'm left with the same icky, voyeuristic feeling I got from Aqua's funeral last chapter. This should be the point in the story at which we empathize with Ruby the most, but she remains a frustratingly distant figure right to the final pages. Part of this is an unfortunate consequence of Akane's narration directing these final chapters meaning that we're hearing about Ruby from an outsider's perspective and thus don't really see what's going on in her head… but if I can be frank, this has been an issue of Aka's with Ruby in particular basically nonstop since chapter 123.

As others & myself have noted, despite the absolutely catastrophic downward spiral Ruby is in at that point, Aqua revealing himself as Gorou basically flips it all off like a switch. There's some mild lipservice paid to the idea that Ruby is just using her dependency on Gorou to prop herself up and it's pointed out that the issues that contributed to her breakdown haven't actually been resolved - but none of these issues are ever even acknowledged again, let alone resolved. So, functionally, that reveal does fix all Ruby's problems in the space of a single chapter and the result is, again, that we spend multiple chapters gourging on depictions of Ruby's absolute rock bottom only for her to ping back to normal like a lightswitch. As such, the depictions of her pain feel less like explorations of Ruby's interiority and more like voyeuristic oogling at Ruby's misery and trauma and the effect is that the resolution to it all is both unsatisfying and a little gross. The result is that it feels like Akasaka is just indulgently mining the imagery of cute girls suffering because it causes simple thoughts neuron activation but doesn't respect these girls enough as characters to build them back up.

It doesn't help that this is basically the in-universe excuse for Ruby's career further skyrocketing. Instead of Ruby becoming a star on her own merits as the story keeps insisting she was supposed to, she's artificially buoyed by the public's morbid fascination with her tragedy. If I was feeling charitable towards the story right now, I would say this is an avenue of intentional critique but… well, I don't feel super charitable about the story right now lol

I WILL say that the one part of this chapter I did just uncomplicatedly like was the beat of Mem trying to suspend activities (presumably in the wake of her grief for Aqua) only for Kana to basically immediately explode into her room and help her get back on her feet. It's a beat that would've been much more effective if we'd, you know, seen it, but I otherwise enjoyed it and I thought it was sweet.

But. pbbbbtttt. I guess I can't talk around it any longer… let's get into the Dome concert.

To start things off on the immediately worst note possible, Akane describes Ruby performing at the Dome as being 'everyone's dream', including Aqua's. I'm reminded once again of the strange turn the story took in insisting that um, actually, performing at the Dome was totes Ai's dream all along (even though she literally didn't give a shit even a week before she was due to perform there herself) so Ruby performing there is fulfilling that dream for her!!! and I can't help but wonder if this abrupt shift in focus is an attempt to make readers forget what Ai's actual dream was - to see her beloved children grow up happy and healthy. Hell, it wasn't even really Aqua's dream, until the story suddenly had to try and convince us that his entire purpose for existence was to kill himself so Ruby could be an idol for slightly longer than she would've otherwise. The only people whose dreams she's textually fulfilling are Ichigo and Miyako and Ruby herself, but…

Honestly, is this really Ruby's dream anymore?

Who is Hoshino Ruby? What does she want? Why does she want it? These should be the very least of what we can concretely say about not only a protagonist but a character who has become a central figure of the entire story as Ruby has, but with the way Oshi no Ko has warped and distorted her, I find myself increasingly unsure of what the story wants her to be or how I should answer those questions.What does Ruby feel about Aqua? Was she still in love with him? Had she moved on, romantically? Was she still waiting for a response to her confession? Did she finally realize it was probably kind of shitty to respond to her brother going "lowkey wanna kms" by sticking her tongue down his throat? I Guess We'll Never Know.

This extends to whatever the fuck Ruby's relationship with idols and being an idol is. Almost the entirety of Ruby's time in the story has been spent reiterating over and over that Ruby cannot just be an idol who imitates Ai and that to truly shine, she needs to step out of her mom's shadow and shine in her own way. Ruby even literally tells Kana in no uncertain terms in 137 - "I'll be a star in my own way. I won't be like Mama."

While this has always been the text of the story, as I've pointed out before, the actual art with which Ruby's idolhood depicts her basically just as Ai 2.0. It relies so heavily on mining the imagery of Ai's charisma and personality as an idol and using them as the measure of Ruby's success as an idol that Ruby essentially has no visual or conceptual identity of her own as an idol. She's just Ai, But Arbitrarily Better, For Reasons The Narrative Fails To Actually Establish But Hopes That You Just Accept Anyway. This was always kind of annoying, but now that friction seems to have been resolved by… just making her Ai 2.0, But Arbitrarily Better (etc, etc) in the text as well. The fact that we're given no further insight as to Ruby's feelings and continue to just have Akane Explain Ruby's Character Arc to the camera also doesn't help.

All this combines to make the Dome concert and the final few pages feel exceptionally cold in a way I really don't think was intended by Akasaka. Yes, that splash page was nice and flashy but… I just felt nothing. I have no idea if or why Ruby cares about this. And even though the Dome concert has been hyped up through the entire story as the peak of Ruby's achievements as an idol, I feel no sense of accomplishment in her finally being there - not just because her journey to it was basically sneezed at us across two panels, but because it just feels hollow as a victory lap for Ruby. Again, she feels so distant and abstracted as a character that I can't bring myself to feel very strongly about her good or bad.

I think the perfect encapsulation of this are the final four pages of the story. Ruby's words here are very clearly intended to be a callback to Ai's words to Gorou in chapter one but as @all-of-her-light pointed out in our initial discussions of the chapter, Ruby very much does not have an equivalent to Ai's conclusion that she nevertheless wants and values the opportunity to find personal happiness and fulfillment outside of being an idol. Are we supposed to believe that simply being an idol is all that Ruby needs to achieve a similar degree of happiness and fulfillment? Is there no more to her than that?

I've seen a lot of people interpret this ending as exceptionally bleak and, as usual, gleefully predicting Ruby's immanent suicide because her beloved oniichansensei isn't around but this is indulging in, if you'll allow me to be frank, some pretty transparently ship-motivated flanderization. Despite what certain sections of the fandom would like to believe, Aqua and Ruby's lives, past and current, have never revolved around each other to the exclusion of every other relationship in their life. Ruby has a massive support network of people who love and care for her and actively want her to get back on her feet. I can one hundred percent believe that she does not need Aqua in her life to be happy and content.

The issue is that we don't see enough of Ruby to understand that ourselves. Again, she has become such a distant figure with so little insight into what she's thinking and why that this ending is basically a Rorschach test in which you can interpret basically whatever the hell you want or assume because we have so little canon basis to support or debunk our assumptions.

and yes. don't think i didn't see them. it IS both grimly hilarious and weirdly tonally appropriate for this ending that ruby has a bunch of oshi goods of ai and aqua including their fucking autographs set up to say goodbye to every day.

AND…… WE'RE DONE!!! THAT'S OSHI NO KO, BABY!!!! well, technically, there's going to be a 20 page extra chapter in volume 16 but I don't see it being big or substantive enough to meaningfully change my feelings about the ending so… I guess we're leaving it here. Damn. Feels crazy to be done with it.

I'll probably do a bigger post down the line about my thoughts on the ending as a whole but in terms of just How This Chapter Made Me feel, I guess the word is just… meh! It's definitely not an ending I like and I think the execution is sloppy and rushed but I also just don't really have the energy to feel angry about it. Maybe that's sad in its own way but tbh… I still really love Oshi no Ko! I still find it engaging and I find the characters I enjoy rewarding to talk about. I like the artistry of the anime adaptation. I don't blame anybody else for being so turned off by this ending that they're done with the series but for me, I like what I like about OnK too much that this ending could retroactively ruin it for me. Whatever else happens with the OnK franchise, whatever directions the anime and live-action take, this will always be the series that gave me Ai and the Hoshino family and. look at me. look at what she's done to my brain. could I really ask for anything more than that?

That being said, I'm definitely not done with discussing the series! I have fics to write (including a VERY exciting large scale project lined up with some friends), my Ai analysis post to finish and I also want to do a re-read of the series and finish my anime rewatch. I'll be here to discuss Oshi no Ko as long as I have things to say about it and as long as you guys will have me! Despite how the series ended, I've had a genuinely wonderful experience in the fandom and I really don't want to let go of the little community we've built together just because the series is done. I'm Ai's fan for all eternity!!!

[letsbangchanblog]

NSFW ABCs for KEEHO

Mature content: 18+ post! Minors, do not enter!!

Summary: NSFW ABCs

Idol: KEEHO from p1harmony

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Keeho is really sweet after sex. I think he is rather vanilla and slightly traditional (even if some think otherwise). This means he is blessed to even be having sex. He thinks it's such an intimate thing for you guys to experience together. It makes him really emotional. This is why he wants to make sure you are cared for afterwards. He would draw you a bath and clean the sheets kind of guy. He wants you to feel how grateful he is for you trusting him enough; it doesn't matter how often you have sex. He is making sure you know.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He has said it before, it's his eyes. He loves expressing himself with them as well. He likes to think he has “love you” eyes during sex.

He loves your thighs. He thinks they are so soft, thick, and comfy. He had no idea he was going to love living between them until you asked so nicely.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums ALOT, but not often. This might be why honestly. He loves having sex with you but you guys usually only engage in foreplay. You guys live for days edging each other. He thinks it's more meaningful this way.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is secretly into being tied up and light BDSM, but he is sooo shy about it. He thinks you will hate it but you would really love it. He is slowly going to learn that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He did have sex before but he wants sex more than ever before; it makes him think that you were made for him (soulmates).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary because you guys can hold hands. He loves any position that includes this. If you are on top, he would die if you hold his hands while having them behind his head. He will cum in three seconds.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I don't think he would even mean it but yes. He would just naturally be funny. He ends up loving the way you laugh during sex sometimes. It warms his heart.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very dark and trimmed. He will not go bare or full bush. He refuses. He would never control your grooming so don't control his grooming.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He NEEDS it to be romantic even when you start exploring non vanilla sex or he would stop.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he masturbates every once in a while but would never tell you. He is thinking about you and he is worried you would think he is perverted. BUT YOU WANT THIS (again he will learn over time).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think he wants to fuck you in a car so badly. He doesn't think it's actually possible so he won't ask but he has jacked off to the thought.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed most of the time. You guys will foreplay anywhere but he won't put his dick in you without it being in the bedroom (until he learned the fun of it in the shower)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your love. He gets horny from loving you so much. Its hardly sexual when he wants to fuck you; he wants to show you his love.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not slap your face only your ass but he is even shy about that. He acts so much more confident than he actually is. He would never want you to have the chance of mistaking his actions.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES HIS DICK SUCKED but he never asks for it. He is so lucky you just love doing it. You guys have oral sex more than regular sex.

He loves eating you out so your thighs will squeeze his head and your moans.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Very slow but rough thrusts. He will go fast here and there but most of the time it's slow and deliberate (his love is shown with it)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

No, but you guys can feel each other up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not willing to try until you slowly start asking him to explore. You have to slowly approach things though or you'll lose him. If he doesn't think he can show his love with it, he won't do it; however, if you ask slowly, he will think giving in (he secretly wants it) shows his love.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He doesn't last very long but will go multiple rounds. It's all about making love and will keep going cause it's not as often as messing around.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Slowly ask.. but know if you ask him to use a vibrator so you can come on his dick… HE will learn to use his hands really well. HE HAS TO DO IT CAUSE HE LOVES YOU NOT A MACHINE.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Gives in… would never want to deny you but fails to remember he will play with your ass and tits then run away..

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Moans and whimpers at a medium volume but will do it in your ear. You guys are making love and he wants you to hear how much he loves it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves you in lingerie or dressing up. He thinks it's so nasty and freaky (but it's kinda basic).

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Huge boyfriend dick and he has no idea. He was made to be the perfect boyfriend.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It's higher than he wants to admit. He thinks he is too horny but he is actually average.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He is too giggly most of the time. He is just so happy, he can't rest.

[bumblesimagines]

i'm going to scream.

did you two have a nice chat?

are we really doing this now?

Kiara Carrera

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

CW/TW: None!

Tell a friend to tell a friend... I'm backkkkkk

"I'm going to scream."

Sarah huffed out a chuckle, brown eyes peeking over the magazine in hand to eye her friend as Kiara made her way over to the counter. The scowl on her face spoke volumes and Sarah only had to peer at the dock to locate the source of Kiara's irritation. There, standing on the dock by one of the boats, stood (Y/N) and a vaguely familiar girl. Everything about the girl's body language screamed flirtatious but (Y/N) either remained oblivious or ignored it in favor of continuing the conversation. 

"You know her?" Sarah asked, leaning back in her chair and resting the magazine on her chest to focus her full attention on Kiara as the brunette aggressively tidied up the area around their register. Kiara gave a hearty scoff, her eyes rolling so hard Sarah wondered if it hurt before she rounded the counter to stand beside her. 

"Of course, I do." Kiara groaned. "Back when (Y/N) and I still worked together, she'd come in almost every day just to talk to him. Mom thought it was so cute and romantic but it was just a pain in the ass! And now she's popping over here too? She doesn't even fish! Nobody in her family fishes! Her dad owns a convenience store!" 

Sarah snorted and quickly clamped her teeth into her lip to avoid the snickers from flowing out. Kiara shook her head, her brows tightly knitted and her lips pulled taut into a frown. It'd been amusing for the pogues (borderline became entertainment at one point) to watch the fierce rivalry between Kiara and (Y/N) take an abrupt turn into obvious feelings. Sarah lost count of the number of times she teased Kiara over it, cooing in her ear until Kiara swatted at her with burning cheeks while JJ and John B egged (Y/N) on. It'd only taken a devious plan from Cleo to finally push Kiara into confessing. 

The wooden floorboards creaked beneath new weight, drawing their attention onto (Y/N) as he stepped into their little shop, his smile immediately greeting them only to falter when he took in his girlfriend's expression. Sarah rose from her chair, carefully and slowly closing the magazine as Kiara folded her arms over her chest and arched a challenging brow.

"Did you two have a nice chat?" Straight to the point with a sharp tone, typical Kie. Kiara had never been one to sugarcoat things, much less beat around the bush when something bothered her. It'd been one of the many traits they all loved about her. "It's crazy how she came in here asking about so much and then left with- how much exactly, Sarah?" 

"Uh," Sarah cleared her throat and lifted her chin. "Nothing."

"Yeah, nothing."

(Y/N) stared at them, the confusion on his face melting away into a bemused quirk of his lips. "Are we really doing this now? Like, right now, in front of Sarah and whoever else stops by?" His brows lifted, only offering a soft scoff when Kiara jutted her hip out and placed her hand over it. "You're unbelievable, Kiara. Don't you ever get tired of being annoying?"

"Don't you ever get tired of pissing me off?"

"It's part of my charm, babe. It's why you love me." 

In an instant, all the fiery emotions that accumulated vanished, leaving behind a flustered smile and a half-hearted eye-roll. "Yeah, well," She cleared her throat. "You can use that charm and help me tend to the register where I can keep an eye on you."

Quirking a brow, Sarah glanced between the two of them. "You guys have a weird way of flirting."

[hiroshikoi]

What natural traits do you have that your future spouse wanted in their spouse? (Which made them decide they would marry you)

Intuitive Reading + Shufflemancy

this reading could basically double as a pick-a-pile simply talking about your qualities/traits. these are the traits your future spouse prioritizes in what they want in their spouse (which you have). At the same time if you don't have every single trait mentioned, please take note that this is a general reading.

thank you so much for 900 followers! 🥳

How to Pick a Pile: Take the time to look at each picture above it is numbered piles 1-4 from top left to the bottom right. Which one sparks a memory? What emotions do you feel? Do you feel anything at all? If all piles spark a memory, choose which one is the strongest. If none, try to go with the one that draws you in the most otherwise, these messages are not meant for you (at this time).

Photos aren’t mine, got it from pinterest and all credits go to the owner.

1 • Pile One

Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft. SZA, My Little Love by Adele, and beside you by keshi

One of the traits that you have that your future spouse wanted in their (future) spouse (so you) is someone that is comfortable with showing their affection to someone. They may like someone that is clingy even. They want someone that would tell them that they love them, verbalizing what you love about them. Shamelessly saying that you wanted to kiss them, hug them, be with them... They want someone that shamelessly expressed their love to them. Your future spouse doesn't necessarily want someone that shows public displays of affection though, but if you were to do that they'd have no problem with it. The emphasis here is you being open about your love to them. Leaving nothing that could be interpret a different way. "If you love me tell me. Please show me. I want you to show me. Please don't be shy or embarrassed.. I love it. I really do. Please don't give mixed signals.."

Communication is definitely a big thing for them, and that's what you have that made them want to marry you. You are not afraid of confrontation, and believe that the best way to resolve things is to talk about it. "I don't want anything to not be clear with you, with us. Please tell me if you have a problem with me, or have a problem in general. Please talk to me, I want you to talk to me." Your future spouse may have had past relationships or were surrounded in an environment that kept him guessing. This caused them a lot of hurt, so now, they really just want someone that makes things "clear as day". They don't want things to be left unresolved, they'd really always make the effort to talk to you to make amends whenever you would have an argument, disagreement, or what not. They love you so much...

I feel like this applies to the both of you, as in they want someone who has this trait because they are like that as well and that is specifically them wanting someone that is a romantic. I feel like before, a lot of people around them thought it was cheesy or may even think they were a player with them expressing their romantic nature but they truly are just like that. They want someone that would do (grand) romantic gestures. I am specifically getting that they want (again i feel like this applies to both of you, so they would do this to you as well) someone that listens to them where they would just randomly say that they like a certain food and you'd come home/meet them surprising them with it. I can see them grinning at this... "You remembered! Wow... hahah"

They are overflowing with their love for you pile one oh my god. Its like they don't want me to end this reading lmao. They also want someone to almost overwhelmingly express your love to them. You'd feel so light. Your body lightweight, speaks to me... lmfao sorry it just came to mind.. You'd definitely feel your love be overwhelmingly reciprocated, I'm seeing like water rushing together but... you don't feel scared of it. You're not thinking about the past, you're not scared of what negative thing that might happen, you're just happy to be there and now. They're happy to just be with you, in that present moment. They'd cherish you everyday for the rest of your lives.

traits: clear intentions, freely showing (overwhelming) affection, open communication, a romantic, putting effort in resolving the problems in the relationship

2 • Pile Two

See You Again by Tyler the Creator ft. Kali Uchis, 00:00 (Zero O'Clock) by BTS, Nervous by The Neighbourhood, and MOON by (G)I-DLE

Hmm.. this pile may be opposite to pile one. Your future spouse likes someone that is more shy about their feelings sometimes. I get that they may have been love-bombed, or flat-out lied to a lot that's why they prefer it to be this way. They may think that its more authentic, because "why would anyone fake being shy anyway? especially of their feelings?". Yeah, while I'm typing this I got the song "MOON" by (G)I-DLE for you lmao. If pile one’s fs liked someone that embodied the sun, your future spouse wants someone that embodies the moon.

Mm.. don't take this the wrong way but your future spouse wants someone that is maybe more of a mess with their feelings. They're more than happy to be your saving grace. They don't care that you're not perfect or that you have lots of lows. They want you... raw.. lmao. not me snorting. They want someone that is comfortable with showing them their bad side, their ugly side. They're someone that will always be with you through the difficult times, the rocky times, for as long as you love them back as they would not stay with someone that doesn't even like them (back; refer to the love-bombing...).

Again, if you don't have every single trait here please don't feel bad but I'm getting for some, your future spouse is into someone that has pretty eyes and you may have that. They may really like the colour of your eyes and how the light hits it, if not your eyes itself. They may like someone that is animated with their facial expressions as well or... you and your future spouse may communicate a lot through your eyes. Like you just know when you give them that look or vice versa (they could tell what you're feeling). They also like someone that keeps their promises, its not necessarily a deal breaker but they'd really really like whenever you are true to your word. It makes them feel like you really are the one. "I can't believe I'm with someone like you... I can't believe you really did it..." (they slightly tear up at this honestly, you're unreal. what a sight..like the moon 😉)

They also want someone that they can run to. They want someone that would be their safe space. They'd especially like moments where you'd just lie in each other's presence not talking, just things being peaceful, enjoying each other's company. They may like to lie their head on your lap.

They just want to make you happy, they want to take your pain away. I am getting that some of you may have a chronic/serious illness (maybe mental illness: depression, anxiety, or etc.) that you are facing everyday. If not, you may be someone that feels like you put so much effort than other people in your life. You may be someone that repeatedly feels defeated (in life). They want to be strong for you, they want you to know that they are there for you, and that they love you. They want someone that they can see wants to keep trying no matter how hard it gets, even though sometimes you think it'd just be easier to give up/you'd want to give up. “I want to take care of you. Let me make it easier for you. Let me help you. I want to make you happy.”

traits: shows/expresses your difficult emotions, shy, keeps their word, someone they can run to/someone that will be their safe space, keeps fighting despite hard problems you're personally dealing with

3 • Pile Three

Hold Me Tight by BTS, Green Light by Lorde, Homewrecker by MARINA, and Uh Oh by (G)I-DLE

You're very loyal and committed. You have so many layers to you, you may be more outspoken and even are pretty levelheaded which sometimes may suggest that someone is more emotionally detached but no you're not like that. To your future spouse at least, you make the possible impossible. You make fantasies real, you cross boundaries (not in the negative sense)/genres/charts (?). You may be logical but still very much in touch with your emotions. Wow I'm so overwhelmed right now, you really are a dream come true to them. They never thought they could meet a human being like you, but here you are. To them, you are perfect, perfectly imperfect. As an analogy/metaphor, its like how a little asymmetry here and there makes someone even more extremely attractive. You make them hypnotized, they can't express how much they love you because its so surreal. You're surreal. Trying to ground these messages more, they may have thought or have been told that they have high standards and so they assessed what they wanted in a spouse. They concluded that yeah maybe they were asking for too much, "I guess how can someone be like that..." and may have not been even possible. I'm specifically getting that of course it will be a lot more personal for each of you but I'm getting maybe you are someone that are freedom loving. As in you like talking to a lot of people, or travelling to a lot of places and with that it may suggest that someone is more flighty or non-committal but you're not. You may actually be the opposite, you're really loyal and are able to exhibit/embody traits that may be contradictory to each other at once.

Yeah, you showed them another way that they never thought was possible. For example, if you travelled a lot or had a job that had that kind of nature, you make the effort to bring them with you and/or you text and call them every day even though you're hella tired. You buy them things/suggest to do things with them that shows that you listen to them all the time.

Again, I feel like this pile is more personal to each one so the traits would be a lot more specific (as in the mix of traits. just emphasize on seemingly more polarizing/contradicting traits that's what you have, you are able to make both co-exist pretty seamlessly). But trying to get a little more here, pile 3 you just have a different way of thinking than most. You just say it how it is or you say these thoughts of yours in such a matter of fact way. You're your own person. You definitely think for yourself.

Your future spouse is so speechless when it comes to you, they're so in awe so unfortunately there's not much dialogue/thoughts that I got compared to the other piles, other than this: "You're... wow.......perfect.." traits: very loyal and committed, having seemingly contradictory traits co-exist, outspoken, different way of thinking than most (or that they have met)

4 • Pile Four

Francis Forever by Mitski, Big AL by Westside Gunn feat. Rome Streetz, and Already by (G)I-DLE

You're transparent. You have your heart on your sleeve, you don't keep secrets from people. You're honest, you live life how you authentically would like to. I'm getting that even though something may be said to be "cringy" (just do what you want guys who cares. life is short! "I'm having all this fun, so why. would I. ev-er stop?") you still do it anyway because you like it. You have the right attitude (for life). People should be more like you. I'm getting that you may have a certain niche you're very good at, and I'm referring to "niche" as in you may have "invented" something. I'm getting that you may be the first at making youtube videos about a certain thing (you're a guide for that game? that job? you may be someone that people mainly go to because you're the first one who does this and you're good at it). You may do podcasts a new way, I'm seeing like drinking on the podcast? lmao i know that's not really new but I'm getting maybe something with liquor/alcohol. There's a lot of traits coming up here now, and I feel like I really am just exclusively describing you.

I'm getting that you're also a calm person, a nice person to be around, like someone just wants to bask in your presence. You also seem to keep improving in life. You keep leveling up. You know how to leave things when it is time. You are able to move on efficiently (?, that's what I got). If pile 3 was kind of more a force to be reckoned with, you may be less "groundbreaking" (not an insult omg) but you're continuous. You just keep going. You continue to live your life. Your past experiences with people or life in general have no weight upon you. Yes you may have been affected and may have made certain adjustments from the lessons you have learned, but you never are weighed down by any of it. "It is what is" may be your mindset and the way you approach life.

You barely mope is what I'm feeling like lmfao. You learn, and continue to keep your head up high. With this consistency, you may have achieved so much. Looking back, a lot has been dealt with by you.. loose ends do not exist with you. You completely close chapters, and that is so admirable. Your fs just can't help but take you in. They're enthralled, they're inspired, they're subtly motivated. With your behavior you make them want to change naturally...and they do. You are a good influence to them and to others (yeah even though you have other habits that may not be role-model worthy.) I'm getting they're almost like your biggest fan pfft. Its like if you for example eat your chicken with ketchup or something, they're like "oh wow cool" and casually starts to do it themselves almost all the time too, and shares it with others that its good even though they may not particularly say it was from you hahah. You influence a lot of their life. With this, I feel like you may also be older than your future spouse or at least act more mature. They're saying this with their eyes gleaming, wholesome vibes: "Can I do that too? I want to do what you did last time it was pretty cool."

traits: transparent, consistent, learns and moves on, lives life authentically, calm, good influence/example

[soaringwide]

PAC: Love reading - In what way are you self-sabotaging this relationship and how can you change course?

Today I wanted to do a Pick a Card love reading and focus on the ways you are self-sabotaging a specific romantic relationship, with a second part focusing on how to change course.

The idea is that sometimes we get in our own way and we can't see the pattern. The whole point of this reading is to realize what it is you're doing that is blocking yourself and how to better act in order to improve this relationship.

How does that work?

Take a moment to recollect yourself, breathe, close your eyes if you need to, focus on the moment. Look at the 4 pictures and select the one that draws you in the most. Not the one you think looks cooler but the one that creates that pinching feeling inside of you. The one that makes you feel it has something to say.

It is possible to feel attracted to more than one pile, just as it is possible to only find parts of the reading relevant. Remember that this reading is meant for many people so it won't be perfectly applicable to your situation.

PILE 1

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: IV of Pentacles + Dreams + Erotic Bliss + 9 of Pentacles Rx; Strength + Resentments + Loving Yourself + X of Cups Rx; X of Swords + Renewal Rx + Unrequited Love Rx + V of Wands Rx

Your pile has intense erotic feelings, perhaps even dreams, about this person, but reality doesn't match the height and perfection of your desire, in the sense that it exists mostly in your head. It makes you feel diminished and lacking and you retreat within yourself, shielding yourself behind your walls. You may be holding onto your sensual daydreams and enjoying them in private and you may find some bliss that way, but it is also very frustrating. Regardless there is a big sexual blockage here that's stopping you from expressing your desire towards your person, and it seems a big part of it stems from your own relationship with your body and sensuality.

You feel unsatisfied emotionally as well, but I think this stems from the fact that you are lacking in the self-love department. You rely too much on external validation for your sense of self-love and when you don't get that gratification, you feel rejected which leads to resentments. Again there's the imagery of building a wall around you, this time covered in barbels. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, keeping bottled up emotions surrounding rejection hidden within.

This is shown in the next message as well. You have this deep rooted fear of being stuck in an unrequited love, of being rejected and humiliated. I have this image in mind of a boat filling up with water and you keep trying to empty it but there's a hole and it keeps filling up at the same rate. There is no renewal (healing of yourself) possible because you're not fixing the hole and it keeps you in misery, in a state of constant struggle. There is also a component of comparing yourself to others and assuming you're not good enough for your person.

How to change course?

Cards: Knight of Swords + Forgive; 2 of Cups + Fear Rx; The Moon + Relieved Rx; Magic

I think part of you reaaaaally wants this relationship with your person but you're not accepting it. You need to understand that you're doing nothing wrong, that it is not shameful, it is normal and natural, beautiful and human even. You may be feeling guilty about this situation because you FEEL you're doing something wrong, and you really need to forgive yourself. Try to focus on the beauty of it instead.

You also need to get over your fear of intimacy. I see the two figures of the two of cups approaching each other mutually. It's a beautiful and sweet card, it's a card of union and happiness, and you know that's what you want, but you're so scared of it that you won't let it happen.

The overall message is to examine your subconscious for biases and shadows, in particular when it comes to fear of intimacy and sexual shame, so that you can relieve that pressure and come forward in love. Perhaps for some of you it stems from a lack of experience, so you might want to educated yourself from trusted sources to help you get a healthier and more balanced picture in your mind. But overall nothing will beat learning yourself, but you got to make way to learn without judgement and shame.

Desire is a beautiful power of nature. It is magical. It is yours. Stop underestimating or undermining it, or thinking it is not yours to have because it's not true. I'm getting that for some of you it might be stemming from religious trauma and shame regarding sex, so you might want to look into that as well in order to heal.

PILE 2

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: 6 of Cups Rx + Sorrow Rx; Page of Swords Rx + Fear of Abundance + Change; 8 of Swords Rx + Intuition Rx + Page of Cups Rx + Relieved Rx

The way you are self-sabotaging is, first, by not being able to let go of past pain surrounding love and to cling onto the past. Perhaps you are nostalgic for sweet memories that are long gone, something that felt pure and simple and that you feel you may never find again.

I feel that you somewhat lost your sense of adventure. You overthink about your past loss and make the false logical conclusion that you'll never receive anything good in matters of love, or that no change is possible. You are stuck in a negative, overly defensive intellectual stance which became like some type of reflex you have a hard time detaching from to progress on your journey.

It's similar on the emotional side since you seem to be over protective of your old feelings. Like, the past seemed so great you feel like nothing will ever compare. You can't seem to release and accept that something new and beautiful in a different way may arise. Which means you have a hard time opening yourself to new messages of love. The curiosity is buried under a pile of fear.

On that note, you are not listening to your intuition at all because it is so polluted by your negative spiraling thoughts. You feel disarmed but you don't see that you have everything that you need to break free. To be more precise, you know yourself, you know what you've been through, but you get lost in the maze of your own mind. And if we add the blocked feelings you hold onto, I see that the problem you have is not so much about external things but rather, the way you deal with your thoughts and emotions.

How to change course?

Cards: The Emperor Rx + Nurture Rx; King of Cups Rx + Your are Deserving Rx; The Lovers + Creativity Rx; 3 of Wands Rx + Anxiety + Manic; The Lover (oracle)

Interestingly, you got a lot of swords in the struggle part but none in the advice part, which makes me thing that the first things you need to do is get out of your head a bit.

With the Emperor, there is this idea that you need to become a good ruler to yourself. Right now you are some type of old tyran that keeps talking about the old times without caring for the present. You need to nurture your present needs, be kind and empathetic with yourself and take the action needed for your own good. How would you feel if someone treated you the way you are treating yourself?

With the King of Cups, there is an extra-emphasis on the realm of emotions. I think that part of why you emotionally stay stuck in the past is that you lack self-worth making you feel undeserving of love.

The Lovers popped up but I think it talks about yourself, about how you need to merge the gap within your own heart. It may seem like a convoluted and difficult task that requires skills and experience, but really, you just need to come forward as you are and communicate where you are at. Be true, be metaphorically naked in front of the other and let them see you for who you are.

Lastly, you are being warned about where you're putting your mental energy. It's like as I said, part of you is stuck in the past, but the part of you that focuses on the future is looking at it wrong. You're feeding it with distorted information, and this creates a storm of anxiety and erratic thoughts that keeps on escalating with no end in sight.

Last advice you got the Lover again (oracle deck) with the sentence ''it is safe to surrender to the good feelings''. So to wrap up with what i was writing earlier, rather than follow your fears and regrets, the best course of action is to follow your bliss! Feed your mind and heart with sweet things to create the change you're wishing for.

PILE 3

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: Ace of Swords Rx + Unknowing + Shame Rx; Empress Rx + Courage Rx; 8 of Swords Rx + Intrusive Thoughts; Page of Wands Rx + Bottled up + Manic Rx

There are some areas of uncertainty in this relationship that makes you feel confused about the situation. It's taking your power away a bit and makes you feel like you don't know what to think or how to act. But I think some of this has to do with a lack of communication that makes you think that this situation is unexplainable where it could actually be if you stepped out of that stance. I feel like you would feel ashamed to bring some subjects up but it's a faulty reasoning.

You lack the courage to express your needs and boundaries, to speak up about what would make you happy and fulfilled. I think you know clearly what you want and what you need but you're just not defending that and you're letting yourself get treated differently than you would need.

I think it makes you feel powerless, like you have no control of the situation, but you don't see that it's the result of a very deeply ingrained pattern of thinking that you can totally untangle if you put in the work.

Lastly, I think this lack of being able to stand up for your needs is leading to a lot of frustration and bottled up feelings that may result in outbursts of anger or fights that may look a bit erratic from another perspective. You might have a tendency to jump to conclusion when it's not what you need in the moment.

How to change course?

Cards: 10 of Swords + Creativity Rx + Wounded Heart; 4 of Swords Rx + Love; 5 of Cups + Trauma Rx; Page of Cups + Anxiety Rx + Forgive Rx

I think a big message is to air out your worries, talk about them or express them in one way or another so they can get resolved. You might even benefit from therapeutic art making I'm getting. But yeah you've got a lot of pain to process and you need to start working on that if you haven't already, and you might want to reach out for help in order to speed up the process.

Love can and will play a part in your healing journey, but you shouldn't have to hide you you are in order to live this love. Find those who inspire you to blossom in order to grow together and heal each other in an act of reciprocity. You need to learn to be authentic and not hide because you are scared you are going to be judged for something that is not your fault. Pay close attention to how someone makes you feel after you left them. Do you feel at peace or at war? Learn to listen to that feeling and you'll be guided towards what you need.

PILE 4

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: The Chariot Rx + Wish Fulfilled + The Protectress Rx; The Empress + Hope + 2 of Pentacles Rx + Energy; Judgement + Shame + 5 of Cups Rx + 8 of Swords

The first message is that you are extremely eager to see your wish fulfilled in exactly the way you want, not allowing things to run their natural course. In that situation, the desire to be in full control is not the way to go about it. It seems that this situation is winding path full of detours, and you try too hard to rectify the trajectory instead of going along the ride. The reason for this is that you're trying to protect yourself because you're scared of the pain inflicted by disappointed love, or love that has no place to go, but you don't see that this over-protective behavior is the very thing that inflicts you pain.

The second message talks about depletion, about an imbalance within yourself that stops you from standing in the full power of the Empress, who embodies grace, abundance and safety. The oracle card ''Hope'' is quite signification here, as it shows a hand crossing fingers to make a wish, illuminated by rays of light. I think that the very thing you're not allowing in your garden is hope. If we link that to the previous message, it's your lack of hope that make you frantically try to do things in a specific way, because you will like if you don't act NOW you will lose everything, because you lack faith that you will get this love in your own time. I don't think this hope is totally dead though otherwise you would have given up, but you don't let it blossom enough, you're stepping all over it in your awkward dance to juggle too many things at once.

The third message talks about your struggle to overcome your own limiting patterns and beliefs. I think you've been through past losses and defeats regarding love and you feel somewhat cursed regarding that area of your life. Like things are never going to get better and you're doomed to be alone forever. You feel really ashamed about this situation, thinking there must be something wrong with you. The card shows a hand floating in the emptiness, with an open eye crying. It's like, you have so much to give but in so much pain that all that flows are tears. You feel isolated and powerless and you direct that towards yourself. You feel like you're unable to see or act and that creates immense tension within yourself because you want to break free, but you're doing it wrong by resisting this transformation that needs to happen within yourself first and foremost.

How to change course?

Cards: Temperance + Reflection + Optimism Rx + Space, time and self; Ace of Swords + Anger Rx + Slow Down + 4 of Swords Rx + The Servant Queen; Yin and Yang; 10 of Wands + Knight of Cups

I think you would benefit from being more patient and let things flow more. Let things progress gradually. There is this idea that you are guided towards what you need and you need to learn to listen to this guidance more. Spend time thinking about what it means to you and develop that, find that inner balance and harmony, that gentle optimism. Things will grow in due time.

You have a tendency to be restless and this is exhausting you. So I see that one big thing you need to do as well is being mindful of your energy levels and take time to rest, cool and slow down. The clarity you need will happen naturally once the clouds have parted and you're in a better headspace. Right now you're just going round and round making dust, let it settle.

You are worthy of love, of receiving beautiful things, you need to understand and believe that. Especially when we saw that the patterns and beliefs that were holding you back where rooted in those past losses, you really need to heal that, not just for this love connection, but for your own well-being.

Really there's a strong overarching message that you need to trust your guidance more, to switch from an erratically active mindset to a more receptive and flowy one. The goal is to balance both energies, not to be one or the other exclusively.

Once you unburdened yourself, you'll be able to express and let your feelings flow without restrain. I think that's the goal for you and what you're not able to do at the moment. But I was shown what comes before that because you can't run into this with the mindset you currently have. You really need to shift it before you can embody the Knight of Cups.

[guppygiggles]

The art I posted yesterday was a bit more suggestive than my usual fare. I'm going to talk about this in detail, but here's the long and short of it:

If you don't want to see tickling content from me that is suggestive, block this tag:

#fluffyspice

Here's what suggestive content from me might entail: shirtless men, kisses on tickle spots, expressions of pleasure or gratification from being tickled (verbal and/or facial expressions), hypnosis, or any of these things combined with bondage.

I will not be using this tag for bondage alone. I have always drawn light bondage (wrist and ankle cuffs, ribbons, and/or pinning). If you have a problem with that, even when the context is not romantic/sexual, then I'm gonna be real -- my content probably isn't for you.

More detail about this below the cut.

TW: Discussion of sexual topics and my personal feelings about sex.

I am primarily doing this out of respect for my sex-repulsed ace followers, particularly as a person who is also on the ace spectrum. I don't want to make my existing followers uncomfortable just because I might want to draw more physically intimate scenes. Please keep in mind that I have been drawing for less than a year, so this form of expression is still new to me; I do not know where my art journey will lead me, yet, but I really do not want to limit myself in that way... particularly since my content has been romantic and emotionally intimate from the start, so this shouldn't really be a surprise.

Sex without emotional intimacy does not interest me. This is not a condemnation of casual sex, sex between friends, or sex that is for pleasure and nothing else; there is nothing wrong with those things, they just don't do anything for me. I am telling you this so that you will understand the perspective of the intimate content I might make -- the intimacy and vulnerability are what I'm interested in, not the act of sex. I don't have a desire to draw "porn" in the way people typically think of and enjoy porn (I am also not claiming that porn is always devoid of real emotional intimacy, but I think we can all agree it is typically not the focus.)

Does this mean I'll get upset if you're getting off to my content? This might shock you, but no, I won't. I think self-love is healthy. If what I'm making evokes those feelings in you, that is, as they say, "between you and the lord." I am not trying to make you feel that way, but it doesn't bother me if you do; everything I draw and write is between consenting adults.

So, I guess I'll cut to what you're probably wondering at this point: Am I going to draw bobs, vagine or peanits? Probably not, both because I don't really have a desire to, and it would probably get me flagged if I did. There will (continue to) be shirtless men, though, and I might even draw them being tickled on their nipples. There might be buttcheeks, too (ouh là là).

That's all I had to say, I think. If you have questions about this, I'm happy to answer them (or try to, at least) but please keep in mind I am not an "authority" on these topics, I'm just a guy telling you how I feel. I am going to put either a link to this post or some explanation regarding this in my pinned post, when I get around to revamping it (whenever that is, haha).

I love you, and thank you so much for reading this and enjoying my content. I know I get ranty sometimes, but my experience on this app is 90% positive and I am so, so grateful for your support and kind messages. Even if I don't always respond, I read every one, and I appreciate it so much. 💙

[crushedsweets]

hey sucker! 😋😋

what would the creeps do for valentine’s day?

like yknow, would some be given small treats or do others treat it like a regular day?

happy belated valentines day! hope you guys had fun and shared some love with everyone around you! this is the closest youre gonna get to x reader content from me.

AGAIN THIS IS SET IN MY AU!!! MY AU IS PRETTY DETAILED AND HAS AN OVERARCHING STORYLINE WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED FRIENDSHIPS, SETTINGS, JOBS, CHARACTER ARCS AND WHATNOT....... so :3 yeah.

Tim and Brian probably don't do much. They'll totally grab some chocolates/candy and eat it, but just cuz its there, not as a gift. if they had a partner, they'd just go get some dinner.. flowers, basic stuff. put on an unironed button up and pick their partner up LOL.

toby might do something depending on where he is in the story. early on, he is not doing SHIIIIT. deep into his friendship with nina(who opens up a lot of his emotional vulnerabilities n stuff), he might feel a little inclined to pick up some flowers for some of the girls in his life (nina, clocky, kate, lazari) just cuz he used to do something small for his sister/mom when he was younger (cuz frank never did shit). if he had a partner, he'd def wanna do jewelry and classic flowers. he likes necklaces and rings and piercings and stuff, doesnt wear them much cuz they get in the way, but likes seeing people wear stuff he got. he's the type to make them turn around so he could put the necklace on them, but if they even slightly laugh at him trying to be sweet, he's getting mad HAHA. "ok nevermind im returning this you fucking suck" (jokingly.. but he is embarrassed). would just wanna stay home though, no nights out or anything

clocky would paint stuff. she'd give nina a portrait of herself cuz nina loooves being someone's muse, do some nice art of forest creatures and leave some notes for toby. she'd feel pretty awkward about it just cuz even when she was with her highschool boyfriend, she wasn't good at giving or receiving affection. if she's gifted any flowers (which she will be getting), she's absolutely pressing them and either sealing them in some paintings, or putting it in frames that hold her old art/art she picked up at thrifts. if she had a partner, she'd obviously paint them or something. i could see her spending a long time working through a journal to gift them, making every 3 pages a painting, drawing, or journal entry expressing something. "today you and i went to get lunch. i think the place was way too expensive, but you liked it." and then empty pages for her partner to fill in with whatever they want.

nina. ok come on. lets be serious. its nina. she's gonna buy everyone(as in toby, clocky, kate, jane, liu) one expensive gift (cologne, watches, shoes, jewelry, makeup) and then throw together mini bouquets, notes, and probably shop lift other smaller stuff cuz 'IM BROKE I SPENT TOO MUCH I HAVE TO' LOLLL.. she's the type to literally decorate her house for it, putting up some of clocky's more romantic paintings (cuz she has a collection of clocky's work), setting out heart-shaped coasters, bringing out heart shaped pillows.... honestly she probably already had those.... she'd absolutely plan galentines dinner for her friends, bake cookies, everything. if she had a partner, it would be really similar. she likes to spoil people, gift giving and acts of service are her ways of showing love - buuuut she does want to be spoiled in return, so physical affection and quality time is what she wants to receive. she wants to be treated like a princess, be picked up, have her doors opened for her, told she looks beautiful, etc.

jack is even less likely to do something than toby. before the sacrifice, he'd grab a cheap bag of individually wrapped chocolates and give them to people he knew around campus. i could see him buying the same chocolates and leaving it in his cabin. telling whoever visits him to take some. nina would leave him some flowers too(say its also from toby) and he'd be really grateful, cuz she'd be very sure to get him whatever he thinks smells the nice. that way he can still appreciate it. if he had a partner, YOU KNOW HE'S COOKING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DINNER AT HOME. he's cleaning up, very awkwardly trying to dress nice. black button up, slacks, slick his hair back(or he'd just do whatever his partner says looks best, not too concerned with his own preference). he'd feel sooo fucking embarrassed and very nervous but he just wants to make it special. he'd write a long love letter, too

jeff isnt doing shit for anyone. he'll go steal some chocolate and mind his own business. if he had a partner, one that he ACTUALLY loved and wanted to keep around. maybe he'd pick up some flowers and chocolate, mainly cuz he knows thats the bare minimum sort of gift. he'd let them demand that day from him, which takes a LOT for him to let anyone feel entitled to HIS time. if he knows they have higher expectations (dinner, a letter, etc) he'd probably bitch and moan and be like "ugh you already know im into you why do i gotta do this shit" but if theyre serious, he'd probably do it. half assed though...

kates also not doing anything unprompted. she wouldnt even know the day is coming around. her only memories of valentines day would be passing out some candy and cards around class in elementary school, but once she was in the forest, nobody gave HER shit. she might pick some flowers and wrap it in some paper for people , but ONLY if she KNOWS they're getting something for her. like, she'd pick nina some flowers cuz she knows ninas doing something regardless, but she wouldnt get toby anything cuz she wouldnt have expected it from him. then shed feel bad. if she had a partner, again it'd be similar. she KNOWS she needs to put in the effort, but she doesnt exactly have the resources... the farm does pay her some cash since she works with the animals, but she mostly just gives it straight to toby so he can buy stuff for the cabin. but she'd keep it this time around, and quietly ask toby if he could come with her to get some stuff for them. some sweets, a necklace, scribble out a little letter. smth sweet.

janes married. and she goes all out of her wife. buys her like a 3dozen bouquet of red roses, sets reservations at nice restaurants, makes mary breakfast the morning of. all of that. i dont even know how to go into detail on this because thats just how it is for her, theres not some turmoil for her to work through. she'd also start getting sally some stuff. plushies holding hearts, balloons, sweet things like that. if she had a partner...WELL SHE ALREADY DOES!!!!

if liu knows nina is going to gift him something expensive, he's doing the same. he's going to grab her flowers and maybe some shoes or something he knows she's had her eye on. he wouldn't be really subtle about it, just text her "whats on your wishlist right now" LOLLL... he just appreciates nina's presence (after they get over the jeff situation) and likes having a little sister to spoil. he'd probably send jane a bouquet of flowers with a thank you note, since jane did a lot for him. if he had a partner, it would also be very stereotypical. date plans, picking them up, flowers, etc. he'd LOOOOVE to make one of those big baskets filled to the brim with random shit. would wanna come home and draw a nice bubble bath and have some wine. stuff like that in general...

ben, lulu, ann, and dina wouldnt do anything and wouldnt get a partner. lazari would draw some pictures for her friends! sally will draw something for jane and mary

[yangsharperavery]

so here's the thing...

i've written about this topic a few times during and after season 1, but the carmy and sydney of it all remains a highly contested and discussed topic. even after season two.

what i find so truly fascinating is that chris storer and joanna calo and everyone involved with the creation of this lovely, well constructed show absolutely could have created the duo they work SO hard in the press to convince viewership they intended.

if they really wanted sydney to be a psuedo/standin sibling for the one carmy lost, or the brainy, determined business partner that comes in to orient a sinking ship...

there are a couple hundred ways they could have managed that and made it abundantly clear that's what the angle was within the dynamic between carmy and sydney.

instead... we have all this very overtly (and covertly) romantic, potent and simmering subtext regarding the nature of their relationship and what they mean to one another, their effect on each other and their seemingly endless potential.

in a whole host of ways there are a number of scenes that literally don't make sense without the lens of the undercurrent of feelings or reverence or romance or something that exists between them beyond the intended business partners/co-creatives.

there are ways to narratively parallel sydney as a mirror and equal and peer of carmy's void of all ambiguity and romantic tension and any energy of awkward longing or confusion.

but that's not actually what we got. i've been consuming television media for most of my life. i've watched hundreds of shows; shipping has never been a requirement for my viewership or interest.

which leads me to believe that there's either a bunch of deflection/dismissing happening for a very distinct reason. or there's been a bait and switch planned from the beginning.

you would literally have to remove 75% of the nuance within carmy and sydney's interactions for the stictly platonic claims to make sense and effectively land.

you'd have to go through and remove various staging, shot selection, editing, music choices and sometimes entire scenes to accurately convey original or "intended" messaging.

to completely eradicate the liminal space of subjectivity between them.

why is carmy talking about tina looking like sydney with that distinct expression on his face when they all wear that apron?

why are they being awkward at the lockers like it isn't customary for coworkers and business partners to go out after work for dinner or drinks or whatever (literally evidenced by tina this season)?

why is sydney mentioning jealousy at all when it comes to carmy's relationship? especially when it makes perfect sense for her to be upset with him for not pulling his weight?

why is sydney entering into carmy's life for the first time and deciding to stay, the second time, something that literally brings him out of his panic? when it could have been him cooking, his drawings, his staff, his gf. ANYTHING else.

they effectively made sydney an emotional, mental and energetic tether for him in that scene. for what reason? business partner ones or????

why do they bicker like an old married couple? is that customary for creative collaborators and coworkers?

why superimpose sydney, parallel her doing something the audience saw carmy do last season, and then show her going about her night while he's by contrast, with his girlfriend? why show a random closeup of a meaningful tattoo on her shoulder? no thematic significance beyond the grind of the restaurant world and career ambition?

why is there an obvious awkward breaking of energy after a highly vulnerable and tender moment between the two of them under the table? why does sydney noticeably fidget/adjust herself/her apron when he walks away to get her gift?

there's actually a hundred instances of these questions you could ask over the course of the two seasons when it comes to them.

so the reasoning behind the shipper pushback is baffling and a bit laughable.

some people bring into question, perhaps this is just the natural chemistry that jaw and ayo bring to their characters bc they're obviously good friends.

which... sure. i guess. but even that begs the question, you wrote and shot and constructed a story a specific way and then your two actors sort of bled on and expanded the material in a very obvious way you didn't expect?

cool, cool. so again... you're surprised that could lead to viewership seeing something deeper than mere platonic business partners?

that's shocking and surprising to you?

no way.

especially considering storer and calo have commented on how close jaw and ayo are and that their dynamic is different than the one she has with ebon and lionel. which is hilarious bc she adores ebon and has been out of the country traveling with lionel (and some other people from odd future.)

so clearly they all enjoy each other, are friends and get along.

but why even make that note of demarcation regarding jaw and ayo's dynamic and STILL be like "oh yeah, we didn't write or mean for them to be a romance " you're shocked that people SEE something given your storytelling and their obvious connection that even you, the creators themselves remarked on?!?!

there's a picture from the golden globes of ayo holding jaw's mom's hands during his acceptance speech. like they're really besties.

but i'm sorry, they can't bestie themselves into what carmy and sydney clearly exemplify on our screens without an entire framework at their disposal. because they're talented and professionals.

so if the writing is saying something, then it's intentional.

maybe the intention was to have their characters skirt and skate on the periphery of each other.

maybe it was for things to be awkward and weird and undefined or hectic and toxic.

maybe they weren't ever gonna have some relegated idea of a shipper's happily ever after.

people have feelings that go unexpressed and undefined. people fall in love and then don't end up together.

maybe the slow burn fizzles out, maybe it explodes or implodes, maybe one of them self denies, maybe they both do.

maybe it will or won’t be addressed directly or covertly. that's actually not a requirement for its existence.

to act like there isn't something true and obvious and visceral that exists between these characters is frankly like asking those who watch your show not to use their eyes and their brains.

impossible.

[kaeyas-beloved]

dust

Character: Albedo

— when chalk crumbs, all that’s left is dust

CWs: gn!reader (no pronouns), ANGST, hurt/no comfort, death (Albedo), could be read as romantic or platonic, I bullshit a research entry in this, spoilers for Albedo

val’s no sympathy november masterlist

He... he always talked about losing control. You never really understood what he meant by it, but you do remember the nights holding him tight and swearing that he would never fall to such evil. It just wasn't something he'd do, and your unwavering faith in him always brought him some form of comfort, even when he never believed you for a second.

"It's nice, to have someone place their trust in me that is."

But now, as you stand in the middle of the aftermath, smoke heavy in the air, buildings crumbling all around, any vision wielder that could fight congregating in the middle of the city and a pile of dust on the ground, you're left to wonder if there was any stopping what fate had ordained.

For a split second you could swear you heard nothing. When the arrow was fired and struck the threat to Mondstadt - struck Albedo, you remind yourself, he wasn't something, he was someone - you didn't know what to feel. You could feel the eyes of the people on you as you walked without thought toward the pile of powder. The pain as you scraped your knees on the concrete was nothing compared to the pain in your chest.

"The Chalk Prince... I see now..." you mumbled, hesitating to touch the substance.

"Why are you called the Chalk Prince? Don't tell me it's because you were created from chalk?" You'd asked one day while helping him in his lab, sitting not far from him on a stool.

Albedo remained silent, going back and forth between skimming through notes and adjusting the settings on his burner. "That is a conversation for another time. Now please, could you hand me two lizard tails? One blue and one red."

He never did outright answer you, but you remember him talking about how all living things will eventually and inevitably return to their original state. Maybe this is what he was trying to tell you.

The hand on your shoulder brings you back, but you can't bring yourself to look up at who it is (you later learn it was Kaeya, who had his own complicated expression). From there everything was a mess of colours and muddled words. You catch a couple apologies for your loss, people running to check on their loved ones and their homes, and discussions about what to do now. Nothing really sticks though, a case of looking but not seeing, hearing but not listening. You do, however, remember hours later being handed a wooden box, Albedo's name, birth and death date carved on the front.

“You were the closest to him. Klee also received something similar.” Fuck, you think, a fresh wave of tears coming along. Your heart breaks at just the thought of how devastated and confused Klee must be. Seeing the instant change in emotions, Jean quietly leaves you be.

The hardest part though was going through his office. It was a day you thought you’d never be prepared for. When you arrived you were proven right, stuck hesitating at the doorway.

You’d never again see him sat at his desk, documenting his findings or refilling his stock of alchemy ingredients. That painting in the corner by the window will forever lay unfinished and the small bed never to be slept in again.

His presence will slowly fade and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

With a heavy heart and tears in your eyes, you start the long and agonizing process of packing his things away. Beginning with his desk you put away various books, loose papers, displays and even the drawings Klee had gifted him over the years. You moved on to strip his bedding, then pack away his paintings. By time you reached the last bookshelf the warm hue of the evening sun was already illuminating the room.

Letting out a quiet yet shaky sigh you get to work again. Since the books were already in order you took care to keep them close to one another, taking off three or four at a time. Despite how gentle you tried to be though you managed to drop a few, the covers too heavy and slipping from your grasp. You’re quick to apologize even though there wasn’t anyone to apologize to. Still, it felt like you should.

As you collect the hardcovers and the loose papers that were neatly placed between the pages, a particular title catches your eye. Gentle setting what you gathered off to the side you begin reading through the research entry, which was dated about a year and a half ago.

During my research into the mysteries of life and creation, many documents from various backgrounds mentioned the potential of substances holding 'memories'. Some focused on the nature aspects, how trees and lakes remember what and who has affected them. Others however stated that all tangible beings can be included in this theory. Due to the evidence presented, as well as previous knowledge, I believe both are possible.

Molecular wise, it’s not out of the scope of reality, and it’s backed up in the biological aspect as well if heredity is taken into account. It raises the question of just how far alchemy can stretch the laws of nature, and if this can be applied to any and all substances that have been touched by human and nature's hands.

The moment you finish reading a tiny spark of hope ignites within you, and your body launched into autopilot before you could even think. Chalk is a substance. The chalk was him so it would have memories of him. I could bring him back! You start scanning for similar papers around the room and in his notebooks, hoping to find more clues; you collect the things you think you'd need to go through with this act of divinity.

Just as you're about to dump the first chemical that comes to mind you freeze. You... don't actually have any idea what you're doing...

No, you think, inhaling a shaky breath, I've watched him do these kinds of things so many times, I have to know something. You go to pour again yet stop once more; as the bottle trembles in midair you know deep down it's true, you don't know the first thing about creating artificial life, let alone alchemy.

The bottle thunks back onto the surface of the table and a new wave of tears begins to flow, though this time not because of loss but due to hopelessness.

Your legs are quick to give out from beneath you, your back leaning against the desk and as you bring your knees to your chest, sobs filling the forever quiet space, you manage to choke out your true feelings.

"Albedo... I don't know what to do..."

Tag list: (both regular and event exclusive): @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @kaeyaloml // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kunikuzushiii // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @leena-shi // @ari-the-wr1ter // @xiaos-wife // @milkwithspiceyicecubes // @stygianoir // @francisnyx

+

@kaiserkisser // @multipleshadesofblue // @moloteco-real // @kithewanderingme // @scaramood // @ii-lily2 // @esuz // @kochothehoe // @cindywasneverhere

[kiirotoao]

Can we talk about Mileven for a minute. Another reason I don't buy their romantic relationship is the fact that most of their one on ones as a romantic couple (S3) are comedic and not very serious. Where are the deep conversations and when are we ever shown how much they understand each other... post (S2). It's almost like once they started dating they became a joke? Yes they have a few sweet moments but it's also scripted to be laughable. (S4) never showed them having a honest deep convo resolving issues and growing romantically. It could happen in (S5) but at this point I don't see the emotional romantic draw.

And then there is Byler to compare it to, where most of their one on ones are much much more serious, deep, heartfelt, with actual evidence of understanding and talks involving their feelings (which Mike seems to not have an issue with unlike his plot in S4 with El). This, mind you, happens to some degree in every season with Will. If Mike just sees Will as his best friend, why is he so serious about Will especially alone together. Even best friends are more casual then this.

Also a side note. The (S3) Mileven straight stereotype of the 'lazy, lying, clueless boy' dating the 'girl who is playing hard to get to teach her boyfriend a lesson' troupe is icky and makes me want El to find her power solo and Mike to remember that the old Mike (who has a special will voice) is a much better person and boyfriend. Thoughts?

Damn! Well said, dear anon!! I couldn’t agree more.

To anyone who says anything along the lines of ‘oh, Mleven can’t be broken up, they’ve been building up this whole time!’ Or ‘here’s the slow burn everyone wanted,’ or ‘Mike and El have grown so much even after fighting,’ I really don’t understand how any of that is founded. I totally agree and I feel like their relationship has been rather unserious. Even in the most serious love-centered topics of support (s1), connection (s2), breakups (s3), and expression (s4), it’s really interesting to me how their relationship has consistently lacked depth.

Despite dealing with some of the most important aspects of strong relationships, they aren’t close enough to showing, providing, or proving to have one. Mike supports El in season 1 as she does him, protecting and aiding each other with their strengths. But… so does everyone in that season to each other? The only difference is that Mike sheltered El which is very sweet, but not inherently romantic.

Then there’s season 2, which I must confess - I think that their reunion scene at the end of the season remains one of the sweetest moments on the show. Ever. It’s raw and emotional, and this was the closest thing we got to something romantic. But what shoots it down is the fact that their emotion was due to forced separation and Mike’s very real complex grief which gets completely glossed over in the show. So, I don’t know. It’s tricky. So are they romantic yet? They get virtually no time together. It’s a no for me.

And oh yeah, season 3 was the peak of unserious-ness. I also don’t enjoy that trope of ‘the boy chasing the girl who just doesn’t get it yet and she snubs him until the very end’ kind of energy. I swear that that stuff is littered in family-friendly movies usually as comedic relief, and Mike and El just barely made that trope more serious at the very least. Their breakup is dramatized and humorous, and the way that it’s mended still makes me chuckle. Mike offers her M&Ms, compliments her looks, they smile at each other, and suddenly they’re all good again? Yeah, that’s not very clear romance to me. All season long, they keep resisting each other. Mike lashes out to everyone and declares that he loves El but can’t say it to her face, and El has Max’s words tattooed on her heart that she keeps asserting that she deserves trust. The two just don’t quite reach each other that season. The second that I heard Hopper say that they’ve only been kissing all Summer long without complaining about them talking, I knew that I was not going to be invested in their relationship this season.

And so season 4 was truly the nail in the coffin, the final turning point. They’re not only shallow in making up, they’re shallow in being together. El isn’t honest with Mike about her time in Lenora, how she’s spent it, the people she’s met, the fun she’s truly having. Mike snaps about Will being disinterested, so it’s pretty clear that he was dishonest about his true feelings that day, too. And the most telling part is that he’s not mad at El. He’s mad at Will.

I think that what the writers have done is craft something so deeply intricate and hidden with Mike and Will to the point of confusion in much of the audience today. Will has always been a buffer of affection for Mike. In season 1 he’s the one they’re searching for. In season 2, he’s the one that Mike protects. In season 3, he’s the true breakup that Mike fights for. In season 4, he’s the listening ear and bleeding heart that Mike relies on. Their love only gets stronger and stronger whereas Mike and El are simply loving under the guise of physical closeness. I seriously think that that’s all that they have for each other.

That hug sequence at the end of season 4 really shocked me, because when I saw Mike and El hugging (not to mention that shot with Will right between them) I thought that it was sweet, but then suddenly Will and El are hugging, the siblings who are absolutely platonic, and it felt more emotional than Mike and El’s embrace. So not only are Mike and El visually equated to a platonic relationship, but their bond doesn’t even hold the same weight as the sibling-hood of Will and El.

It’s just wild to me that people don’t see it. I think that Byler is made abundantly clear for us to root for. The crazy together scene did it for me the first time I saw it. It was and still is one of my favorite scenes ever because it’s the total package. Closeness? Check. Honesty? Check. Hurt/comfort? Check. Matching, nerdy Halloween outfits? Check. The lack of anyone or anything else to distract them? Check. The crazy together scene is a marker of their relationship, and it never, ever dies.

Even though they fight, where are they years later? They’ve gone through supernatural and personal troubles together, and they’re still by each other’s side. “Friends. Best friends.” The same at heart. They promise to support each other, they reconnect, they come back from every breakup, and they readily express things on their minds and hearts. They’re there for each other and tell each other things that no other boys in the party have told each other.

Mike and El try to understand each other, they do, and sometimes it’s just trying that’s enough, but on a truly intimate level, that’s bullshit. Mike and Will have everything that they need and want for each other, and there’s no going through hoops to get it besides internalized homophobia. Which I very well think can be reasonably addressed next season.

So yep. Byler is endgame.

[bugsysaboy]

Alright, fellow 5 Kite stans, I got some more headcanons to submit to the council for approval.

(Aka headcanons post part 2, electric boogaloo. Reposting because I have more thoughts)

No content warnings, sfw

-actually understands cybersecurity, his passwords are all unique and actually random combinations of numbers and letters and somehow he never forgets which password goes where (never writes it down, either.)

-speaking of writing...

-my man CANNOT write poetry. Very bad at it. Painfully bad at it.

-he's really good at drawing animals! However! He is somehow 100 percent incapable of drawing people.

-he will sing for someone he loves and nobody else. If you drag him to karaoke, nothing will get him on stage.

-His singing voice is warm and quiet, healing to listen to when you lay against his chest.

-if you sing for him, his heart will melt. It doesnt matter if you are or aren't a good singer; he'll love every moment of it. (Not even necessarily in a romantic sense, he just finds it endearing.)

-favorite color is powder blue

-favorite smell is lavender

-and his favorite tea is chamomile lavender tea

-you ever look at someone and can instantly tell they have stomach issues? Yeah.

-no matter what, he is always at least a lil bit confused when he wakes up. It doesn't matter if he fell asleep in his own bed, he's gonna wake up like "???" and will never know where he is. Takes him a solid minute to actually gather his bearings, too. Don't try to start a conversation with him when he wakes up; he's not gonna process a single thing that you say.

- this dude is s t u b b o r n

- That being said, one thing he is good about doing is admitting when he fucked up. Like, can he be a bit overconfident and prideful at times? Yes, but when he's humbled or makes a mistake, he'll own up to it without hesitation.

- when he's flustered he pulls down his hat!!!

-if he really loves someone he might just stare at them for a long time, which sounds cute in theory but in practice he's just watching you sleep or staring at you from the other side of the room with an unreadable expression on his face and it's!!! Unnerving! But we love him for that <3

-...he doesnt realize it's unnerving

-in my last post I said he would like soup but also! This dude would rock with congee so hard.

-doesn't cry easily, not in the "I'm trying to disconnect myself from my emotions" kind of way but more in the sense that it just takes a lot for him to tear up. He's a very resilient individual, and things don't tend to throw him off.

-Firm believer in the saying of "fall down seven times, get up eight."

-On the rare occasions that he does cry, he's beautiful when he cries; his face is slightly flushed and the tears fall gracefully down his cheeks. He doesn't tend to make any noise and will just stare off into space.

-He also just can't seem to cry in front of other people easily.

-he had very slight esotropia of his right eye. His bottom lashes are disproportionately thick, but also his eyebrows are sparse.

-He has a few very faint freckles on his nose and cheeks, the kind you can only see when you shine a light directly onto his skin and look very closely.

-he has a slight overbite

-and prominent dark circles, the kind that come from poor vascular circulation.

-AND SPEAKING OF CIRCULATION

-DUDE'S HANDS ARE ALWAYS ICE COLD.

-IT'S LIKE TOUCHING COLD METAL WHEN YOU SHAKE HIS HAND.

-THE KIND OF COLD THAT CAN MAKE YOU FLINCH.

-but hey

-cold hands are an excuse to hold hands.

[mimisempai]

I'll find you at the end of the road - Chap 8/8 - Complete

Chapter summary - As long as hope remains

Sometimes you just have to wait for the dots to connect...

On Ao3

Rating G -  3929 words

Chap 1 - Chap 2 - Chap 3 - Chap 4 - Chap 5 - Chap 6 - Chap 7 - Last chapter

Months and seasons passed.

Aziraphale moved out of the lake house and into his old apartment above the store. After the death of HH's CEO, Muriel was no longer interested in staying there, and Aziraphale offered them a sales position in his shop. He preferred restoring and tinkering with his old pieces, and Muriel was good at selling. Aziraphale wasn't a tyrannical boss, and thanks to Muriel, the shop now had regular opening hours without restricting the antiquarian's freedom.

Arthur had remained friends with Aziraphale and was now also Muriel's friend, and more than once they'd come to end the day with coffee at Nina's after picking up Maggie from her shop.

However, all of Aziraphale's friends could see that the antiquarian's gaze sometimes seemed lost. His face wore a melancholy expression. But he never said anything, just smiled, and they pretended they hadn't seen anything, just pampering him a little more than usual.

On New Year's Eve, they partied together, and when the fireworks went off to celebrate 2024, Aziraphale couldn't help but think with nostalgia of other fireworks, wondering what Crowley was doing, where, and with whom. 

A.Z. Fell, M & Co - January 2024

It was already late and Aziraphale was hunched over his drawing table, looking concentrated, when Muriel poked their head through the door.

They said softly, "Aziraphale, I'm leaving now. I've locked everything, so all you have to do is close the front door and draw the blinds."

Aziraphale, concentrating on what he was doing, replied with a hum.

Muriel, seeing that he wasn't listening, approached and looked over Aziraphale's shoulder to see what he was working on.

"A new project?"

Aziraphale looked up and replied, a little embarrassed, "Oh. No. It's just... a personal thing. "

Muriel shifted to get a better look at Aziraphale's work, but the antiquarian tried to hide it. 

His friend insisted and asked coaxingly, "Aziraphale, let me see."

"No, it's nothing."

"Come on. Please."

Aziraphale relented and removed his hands from his work surface. Muriel leaned over and gasped as their eyes widened.

It was the lake house, but reimagined. 

There was a patio at the back and a staircase leading down to the water - the stairs Aziraphale had described to Crowley. There were trees planted along the path and lights shining in the trees. The house was just as extraordinary as before, but much less austere, much warmer, almost romantic, transcended by the changes.

Muriel said quietly, "I like it. "

Aziraphale asked, somewhat anxiously, "You really like it?"

Muriel nodded enthusiastically and replied, "Before, it looked like a place you'd go to be alone. Now I can imagine taking someone there, a family, friends. I can almost envision happiness there."

Aziraphale nodded, his eyes glistening slightly. 

Muriel looked at him with piercing eyes and asked softly, "Who is it?"

Aziraphale replied without hesitation, "Crowley. His name was Crowley."

"When you lived there?"

Aziraphale nodded and Muriel continued, "I knew there was something or rather someone there. What happened? "

The antique dealer replied simply, "I lost him."

"How?"

Aziraphale replied in a hesitant voice, "It's hard to explain. It's mostly... it was... bad timing."

"Do you miss him?"

Aziraphale couldn't deny it and answered with emotion, "Every day."

"Make him come back. "

Aziraphale ran a hand over his face before answering, "It's too late. Or too soon...Impossible."

"What?"

Aziraphale shook his head and replied, "Nothing. It's all so complicated. I don't even know where he is. And even if I did, I couldn't go up to him and say, 'Hey, I'm here, let's pick up where we left off.'"

Muriel asked him challengingly, "What do you have to lose?"

Aziraphale didn't answer, then resumed his drawing. Muriel, knowing when not to insist, looked at him with concern, sighed, and left.

January 2026

Crowley was still living in the same place, and the tree had continued to grow in front of the building. He spent a lot of time with Eric, who had apparently decided to take him under his wing. 

He was still single, but he had a friend, friends even, he could count on, and if sometimes one or the other tried to encourage him to date, they never insisted too much when he refused.

He devoted his life to his classes, the students liked him a lot, and Pepper who kept coming to see him after class had brought other members of the gang with her, and discussions around astronomy had turned into a science club. At least the Them were under supervision for their little experiments. 

Crowley's apartment - Early February 2026 

Crowley had decided to clean up, because in two years he had started to accumulate things, and it was time to sort them out.

He was organizing his clothes when he came across the outfit he hadn't worn since the missed date. His throat tightened as he was about to toss it into the discard pile, but he couldn't bring himself to do it and tucked it away in the back of the closet.

Later, while vacuuming, he noticed a squeaky floorboard. He bent down to examine it and found that it was easy to lift.

Crowley pulled back the plank and to his surprise, there was an empty space underneath. He bent down further to examine it. Seeing that there was something there, he reached in and pulled out a package wrapped in a dusty plastic bag. 

He opened it and his heart leapt; it was his copy of Persuasion.

One page was marked with a rose, now dried and withered by time. He opened it to the marked page and saw that a sentence had been underlined.

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever.”

He stared at the words, stunned.

Rainbow Academy - February 13, 2026

Eric and Crowley, their classes finished, were about to leave the school and walked down the hallways together.

When they reached the entrance hall, Crowley gasped and looked around in amazement and exclaimed, "Ohhh this is beautiful! All these old tools. So well kept."

On display in the hall were ancient telescopes, astrolabes, and sundials, all in perfect condition despite their obvious age. 

Eric replied proudly, "Yes, this is my partner, Muriel, they run the antique shop, A. Z. Fell & Co. They had a lot of stuff like this and came up with the idea. It gives the shop some publicity and it looks cool, right?"

"A. Z. Fell & Co?"

"Yes! In fact, since they started working there, the name has become A. Z. Fell, M. & Co. M for Muriel. Great, right?"

Crowley squeezed Eric's arm and asked, "Can you take me there? I'd like to see the place."

Eric nodded and replied, "I have plans tonight, but how about tomorrow morning, before school, since we both start after 10?"

Crowley replied, "That works for me."

Maybe he still had a chance.

A.Z. Fell, M. and Co - February 14, 2024

Muriel and Aziraphale stepped out in their winter coats, but found the weather surprisingly warm. 

Aziraphale growled, "Honestly, what the hell?"

Muriel shrugged as they replied, "Global warming.

Aziraphale asked, "Would you like to come to my place for dinner tonight? We can invite the others."

Muriel replied with a happy expression, "I can't. I have a date tonight, it's Valentine's Day and some of us have..."

She paused, realizing the cruelty of what she was about to say, when Aziraphale stopped abruptly.

He exclaimed, "What?"

"What, is it so weird that I have a date on Valentine's Day?"

Aziraphale looked around. 

The day was really warm. People everywhere were enjoying the sun. 

He turned to Muriel with a strange look on his face.

He asked, "What day is it?"

Muriel looked at him in confusion, "Valentine's Day, I told you, so it's February 14."

Aziraphale repeated, "February 14, 2024."

"Yeah. What's wrong with you? You're weird, you know?"

Aziraphale, his eyes pensive, replied, "He told me about today. I remember the date."

"Who? You mean that guy? That guy? Your..."

Aziraphale excitedly replied, "Yes! There's a letter saying where he'll be!"

Muriel, understanding less and less, asked, "Did he write to you?"

Aziraphale nodded quickly, "Yes. I can see him today. You told me the other day...what have I got to lose?"

Muriel pushed him forward and said, "Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, you idiot!"

"I just need to find the letter!"

Aziraphale ran back to his apartment above the shop and rummaged through his old boxes until he remembered that Crowley's letters were still in the lake house, in the attic. He grabbed the spare keys to the lake house and ran to the Beetle at top speed.

A.Z. Fell, M & Co. - February 14, 2026 

"Hi Muriel!"

"Eric, you didn't tell me you were coming to see me at the boutique."

Eric said sheepishly, "I forgot to tell you that I had a friend and colleague Crowley who asked if he could see the shop."

He pushed himself forward and Muriel watched as Eric's friend entered the store.

"Hello Crowley, nice to meet you..."

But Muriel saw that the man looked frozen, staring at a point behind them.

They turned and their eyes fell on the sketch Aziraphale had made of the lake house with the changes. Framed and hanging on the wall.

Eric's friend murmured, "Who drew this?"

Muriel, looking surprised, replied, clearing their throat, tight as always when they thought of Aziraphale, "It's a friend, Az..... Aziraphale."

Crowley repeated, heart pounding, "Aziraphale... it's him."

Muriel replied in surprise, "Yes. Do you... do you know him? "

Crowley nodded, "Yes. He... where is he? Is he here? Is he working here today?"

Muriel suddenly looked very sad and said quietly, "I'm sorry. Don't you know?"

"What?"

Muriel replied emotionally, "He died. Two years ago." 

She swallowed before continuing, "Two years ago today, to be exact. Around noon, there was a bus accident in the city..."

Crowley, shocked, asked urgently, "Where in the city?"

Seconds later, Crowley was getting into his car as the rain began to fall, Eric behind him, confused, calling out, "Crowley! Wait up! What's going on?"

When he started, Crowley told him, "It's an emergency! I don't have time!"

Eric simply asked, "Is it?"

Crowley, buckling his seat belt, replied, "Yes!" 

Then, just as he was about to slam the car door, he heard his friend yell, "Go Crowley! Get him!"

Crowley drove out of town toward home, rain beating on his windshield. He weaved between lanes, passing cars, driving

Lake House - February 14, 2024 

Aziraphale stopped in front of the lake house. It was locked and apparently empty. He ran across the path and unlocked the front door.

Lake House - February 14, 2026 at the same time

Crowley arrived home and slid to a stop in the rain in front of the mailbox. He pulled out a notepad and began writing frantically.

Lake House - February 14, 2024 at the same time

Aziraphale hurried to the attic. 

Inside was the only box he'd left there when he moved out. He opened the box and searched feverishly. He found Crowley's bundle of letters. After a few moments, he found the one he was looking for and read it. 

Last February, I remember it was Valentine's Day, but it was really hot for a February day.

I was sitting on a bench at noon in Saint James Park, near the intersection of Spur Road and Birdcage Walk.

He read aloud, “Saint James Park, just off the intersection of Spur Road and Birdcage Walk.”

Lake House - February 14, 2026 at the same time

Crowley finished writing the note and stepped out of the car, unaffected by the rain, and with shaking hands placed the note in the box before raising the flag. 

He stayed there and fell to his knees in front of the box, drenched from the rain, staring anxiously at the flag. 

Lake House - February 14, 2024 at the same time

Aziraphale jumped into his car and sped away from the house.  

Saint James Park - February 14, 2024 - Noon

Aziraphale found a parking spot and parked the Beetle. He got out and ran up Birdcage Walk along Saint James Park.

In his hand he held a piece of paper, the words of which echoed in his head. 

My dear Aziraphale. 

I know now... it was you near the park that day. 

It was you at the crossroads. 

Please don't go there.

Something terrible will happen if you go there.

Aziraphale continued running toward the location indicated in the letter before stopping at the edge of the sidewalk, separated from the park by a busy street. He looked away, searching for Crowley beyond the noisy traffic, among the crowds in the park.

Please don't look for me.

Finally he saw him, a distant silhouette, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun. His unmistakable red hair caught the sunlight. Aziraphale smiled.

Don't try to meet me. Not right now.

They are now separated only by distance. No longer by time.

Don't run to me.

The traffic eased for a moment and Aziraphale could clearly see Crowley, straight ahead.

Do you understand? I beg you, please. You must wait.

Aziraphale stepped off the sidewalk to get closer to Crowley.

Forget everything I said before.

We both have to wait. 

Not just you.

Both of us. 

If you love me and if I love you.

Not if I love you, because I'm sure I do, I love you, it took me so long to say it, but I really do. 

So if you love me too, wait for me.

Aziraphale saw Crowley straighten up and turn his head toward him, as if drawn in his direction. Even from a distance, Aziraphale could see his worried expression. 

Wait for me. 

Wait until time catches up with us and we can be together. Please wait. Just... wait.

Lake House - February 14, 2026

Crowley soaked, is in tears at the foot of the mailbox and whispers over and over, “Wait, wait. Don't go there. Please, please.”

The rain continued to fall. 

Crowley, finally, having lost all hope of seeing the flag move, tried to pull himself together and began, very slowly, to stand.

He looked at the box and was startled, the flag had come down.

Hands trembling, he didn't dare open the flap.

He took several breaths, and when he finally had the courage, he opened the box and saw that his letter had disappeared.

Saint James Park - February 14, 2024 - Noon

Aziraphale stood in the street, trying to see a little more of Crowley, and at the last second he backed up to the sidewalk. He kept looking at Crowley, desperately wanting to run to him, but he didn't; he folded the letter, put it in his pocket, and reluctantly turned and walked away. 

Safe and sound. 

Lake House - February 14, 2026

Crowley stared at the empty mailbox, his face soaked with tears and rain.

Suddenly, a hand came gently up from behind him and slowly closed the mailbox. 

Crowley gasped and turned slowly.

Aziraphale was standing silently in front of him, staring at him, holding in his hand the letter that Crowley had just put in the mailbox. Crumpled and worn, as if it had been read over and over again.

Crowley stared at him for a moment, trying to convince himself that this was all real. Then Aziraphale took a step toward him and smiled shyly before asking softly, "Have we waited long enough?"

Crowley, still in shock, his eyes filling with tears, murmured, "Yes...yes."

Aziraphale came even closer, smiling more openly this time, bringing his hand to Crowley's face and wiping away a tear with his thumb. Crowley leaned his cheek into his palm, closed his eyes, and murmured again, "Yes, we've waited long enough.

Then, finally, they wrapped their arms around each other, holding each other again and again, letting the embrace linger, pulling away to look at each other, making sure it was real, and embracing again.

Making sure they were both real, there and alive.

After a few moments, Crowley pulled away and, taking Aziraphale's face, now as drenched as his own, between his hands, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the other man's.

For long minutes, they parted only to catch their breath before kissing again, over and over, indifferent to the rain that continued to pour down on them.

Much later, when they parted again to catch their breath, Aziraphale took Crowley's hand in his to lead him home.

Crowley gasped as he looked at the lake house. 

The lake house had changed.

In the two years of Aziraphale's life, the life Crowley had saved, Aziraphale had transformed it.

He'd brought to life the project he'd shown Muriel two years ago, with the patio and the stairs to the water they'd talked about, and the trees planted along the path, lit and shimmering in the rain.

Crowley laughed in amazement and turned to Aziraphale, pulling him close and kissing him again.

Then they walked along the path together, stopping often to touch and kiss.

As they passed the door, Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's sleeve and said, "Wait."

Aziraphale turned and replied in a falsely pouty tone, "Haven't I waited long enough?"

Crowley grabbed his hand, intertwined his fingers with Aziraphale's, and said softly, "I don't want to wait to tell you for real this time. With my voice. My eyes in yours." 

He paused and, with a trembling smile and shining eyes, said to him, "I love you."

Aziraphale, his voice hoarse, immediately replied, "I love you."

They held each other again, enjoying the bliss of hearing those words from the beloved voice for the first time.

Then they entered their home, ready to begin a new life where all was yet to be discovered. 

Together.

The lake house - Summer 2027

"Arry! Arry!"

"Joel! Take it easy, sweetie, and wait for your little sister!" 

Bill and Frank followed their children a little farther behind, hand in hand, then watched fondly as they gave gentle caresses to a Harry who seemed to enjoy it.

"Joel, Ellie, stop spoiling Harry, he's going to keep coming to us for petting."

The two children stood up and grabbed the legs of the man who had just spoken.

"Uncle Zira!"

He lifted them both up, carrying each of them in one arm.

"Harry gets petted and I don't get a hello kiss?"

Each of the two children placed a sound kiss on Aziraphale's cheeks at the same time.

"Should I be jealous?" came a voice from behind Aziraphale.

"Uncle Crowley!"

Ellie was already reaching for Crowley, who didn't hesitate to take her in his arms. The little girl gave him a big kiss on the cheek and squirmed for him to put her back down.

Crowley and Aziraphale, side by side, greeted Frank and Bill.

"Bill, Frank, welcome!" 

They all hugged and then walked together to the patio overlooking the lake.

As Frank sat down in one of the garden chairs, he said with amazement, "I may have been here many times before, but I'll never get tired of this view."

Aziraphale motioned for Bill to sit next to Frank before sitting down himself.

Crowley was about to sit on the arm of Aziraphale's chair when he heard the unmistakable sound of a car pulling up to the house; Aziraphale started to get up, but Crowley motioned for him to remain seated. "Stay seated, angel, I'll go."

He walked down the path toward the oncoming cars. 

Eric was the first to move toward him, "Crowley!" before embracing him. Crowley was now used to his friend's outpouring of affection and allowed himself to be patted on the back. 

They were soon joined by Newt, Anathema, and Mrs. Tracy, and all followed Crowley into the house. When they reached the patio, everyone greeted each other and sat around the table chatting happily. Joel was in awe of Mrs. Tracy's red curls, and Ellie laughed out loud as Eric bounced her in his arms.

"Is this the way to the little party?" 

Heads turned to the source of the voice as Aziraphale exclaimed, "Muriel! I thought they lost you on the way."

Muriel laughed slightly and replied, "Arthur, Maggie and Nina got lost, so I had to direct them by phone. Where do I put this?" 

They pointed to the cake in their hands.

"I'll take it," Aziraphale replied. 

He went with the cake to the kitchen, where he was suddenly overcome with emotion. He waited a moment to compose himself before returning to the patio.

"Hey, angel, what are you doing out here all alone?"

Aziraphale looked up and smiled, murmuring, "Crowley."

Crowley, who after more than a year had learned to decipher his husband's expressions, noticed his emotional state and gently asked, "Hey, what's wrong with you?"

Aziraphale wanted to speak, but the emotion was too strong, so Crowley wrapped his arms around him and held him close until his husband was ready to speak.

After a few moments, Aziraphale stepped aside, a trembling smile under the tears, "I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm not sad, not at all, on the contrary, but I suddenly had this irrepressible urge to cry."

Crowley nodded in understanding and brushed Aziraphale's hair back before saying softly, "Just too much emotion, perhaps? What were you thinking?"

"I... I was putting the cake on the table and I thought, if I hadn't read your letter, none of this would be real. I wouldn't be here. There wouldn't be all these people on our patio. And it freaked me out for a moment to realize that we could have almost lost everything."

Crowley, visibly moved as well, pressed a tender kiss to d'Aziraphale's mouth, and when he pulled away, Aziraphale continued, "But on the contrary, you, or rather we, gained everything. You saved me, you gave me a new life, and in doing so, you gave us all a different and better life."

Crowley nodded, planted a light kiss on his husband's lips, then stepped aside to take Aziraphale's hand and lead him out onto the patio, a tender smile on his lips.

"Come on, let's party!"

As Aziraphale was pulled along and they crossed the living room, his eyes fell on his mother's book. His first family. His mother and father. Then his eyes slid to Crowley beside him, and by extension, everyone else on the patio. His new family. Their new family. Not by blood, but by heart. 

All because Crowley had sent a little letter one day.

Dear new tenant.

Hello and welcome to your new home and congratulations, blah blah blah. You've made an excellent choice, Ditchling is a wonderful place and this house is a gem, as you may have noticed.

I'm sure you're going to love living here as much as I have.

Crowley did not know that day that these words would be so prescient, even though they came from the future and were addressed to someone in the past.

Oh yes, Aziraphale loved living here, but not because of the house.

He loved living here because of the love that filled it. 

Because of Crowley.

“There could have never been two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved." 

Persuasion - Jane Austen.

_________ I hope you enjoyed the ride. I will probably come back to them in this universe, as always in form of oneshots. Thank you for having followed, liked and commented on this story! <3

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

[doveheartsanctuary]

I am going through a crisis rn. A certian self shipper here who ships with the same character I ship with(I have an egergore(thoughtform) of said character in my space because I'm pagan/spiritual) and I asked them to block me because we ship the same character and we both don't like sharing. But they told me that "Volo(character we ship with) thinks you are nothing and doesn't know who you are. And that he only loves me and not you " I even tried to rationalize by saying that hey maybe two volo entities exist but they weren't having it and continued to be disgusting and toxic to me by sending drawings they did of their oc and Volo despite me telling them I have my Volo who loves me and theyhave their Volo enough volo love to go around. I try to be respectful to doubles but people like that person I delt with are making me rethink my stance on that... They don't like cruel people but yet they act like the most disgusting cruel evil person out there

like what do I do? I have had such mental distress over this to where I'm depressed and going though depersonalization episodes. Before I met this character(Volo) i never felt such unadulterated love and romantic fulfillment from anyone in my life before and now duento this person claiming that their volo is the "only real one" i am feeling like I'm not even worth anythings love human, or fictional character or spiritual entity.

It is as real to me as an actual physical relationship. Idk what to do...Volo is all i have when it comes to romantic relationships...

Sweetheart, I want to apologize for the long response, but I really felt the need to address this properly because you absolutely deserve to feel heard and supported. 🩷

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through such a hurtful and disrespectful experience. That person’s words were beyond cruel, and you did absolutely nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. What they said about your bond with Volo doesn’t make it any less real or meaningful. It’s incredibly unfair for anyone to invalidate your connection with your F/O, especially when you’ve been respectful and asked for space.

First off, you’re so valid in your feelings. Your connection to Volo, whether it’s through spiritual practices, headcanons, or your own personal experience—is your truth. Nobody has the right to take that away from you or diminish its value. It’s okay to protect that space and distance yourself from negativity. Please, do not let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve love, especially not from the F/O that makes you feel so fulfilled.

In situations like this, blocking someone who disrespects your boundaries is completely justified. You have every right to protect your peace and your mental health. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting to keep your space clear from negativity. And as hard as it might be, not engaging with toxic individuals can be a huge relief in the long run. It doesn’t matter if they try to make you feel like you’re less, you are worthy of your F/O’s love, no matter how anyone else feels.

Please remember that your relationship with Volo is real. Real love exists in many forms, and your bond with him, whether spiritual, emotional, or otherwise, is just as valid as anyone else’s. And just because someone else tries to push their views onto you, doesn’t mean they get to define your experience. And regarding the art they sent, I understand how deeply hurtful it can be when someone pushes their content onto you after you’ve clearly communicated your boundaries. Art is such a personal expression, and when someone sends something that makes you uncomfortable, especially in a space that’s meant to be your safe place with your F/O, it can feel like a violation. It’s completely okay to not want to see that, and you are not obligated to engage with anyone’s art if it doesn’t feel right for you.

You deserve to enjoy your space and your F/O without being made to feel small or inferior. Blocking that kind of content and the person who disrespected you is a form of self care. Protect your peace, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to accept things that hurt you. Always trust your instincts when it comes to protecting your heart and your space.

Take some time to focus on what makes you feel good, what makes you feel loved, and keep nurturing your space. It’s okay to have boundaries, to feel hurt, and to take a step back when you need to. You are worthy of love and respect, no matter what anyone says.

And I’m sending you a big, warm hug, darling! You’re not alone, and I’m always here to listen and support you. Please take care of yourself, and know that you matter. Your connection with Volo matters. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all anyone can ask for. 🌸🌺🌸

And remember, you're deeply loved by your Volo! They see and cherish you for exactly who you are. Your love for each other is real, and it matters just as much as anyone else’s. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. You are worthy of all the love and care, both human and fictional. 🕊️ 🌸