#even if I don't really draw them expressing romantic emotions

[skell-core]

[atzual]

what your ateez bias says about you

if you take this seriously, that's on you. i'm just doing this for fun.

tw: heavy topics, language, roasting

*****

hongjoong: right. how's the desire to impress people and overworking yourself doing? i feel like what draws you in is his resilience, and that he is very dependable. you probably had a lot of moments where you were left to your own devices to work on something major, and are no stranger to burnout. you might be the kind of person to talk about your achievements and your work and everything you do a lot, maybe to seek validation (and maybe to cement that you have something others don't). on a softer note, you probably have a wide range of skills in a field you are interested in, and experiment a lot. generally are not afraid to go outside of norms to figure something out. so to see the qualities of a leader and innovator in joong is both comforting and inspiring to you. (bonus: you probably have a thing for clips of joong in the studio, don't you?)

seonghwa: you feel like you don't have anyone who you can actually trust with your thoughts and feelings, huh? people talk at you, not to you. you are a natural care-giver, are quick to give advice (also to bottle up someone else's negativity), often ignoring yourself. you might have lost the feeling of 'home' or of 'small but certain happiness', and might have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. on a brighter note, you are someone who can process emotions a lot more deeply than others and if there is anyone who can actually put themselves in another's shoes, it's you. i think hwa is a safe space to you, precisely because it is not all sunshine and rainbows. you connect with his battles, growth, and how he is accepting change and trying to find balance. (bonus: him getting excited about something is legit your therapy isn't it)

yunho: many acquaintances, few friends? i think you legitimately stopped believing in love. at least the mushy 'at first sight' and 'meet cute' and 'soulmates' kind of love. might be because of family-related things, or because of romantic relationships, but trust is a problem for you. you probably think negatively about yourself quite a bit and/or have/had a more pessimistic mindset. on the positive, i think you're really loyal when you find your people, and want to see them happy. you connect with people beyond love, you make connections that are made on living life together and going through things together. i think this is also what drew you to yunho - his perseverance, resilience, ability to smile in the face of hardship, but also his ability to navigate a lot of emotions as they come and deal with them in a healthy way. (bonus: his small expressions of affection/acts of kindness make you melt, right?)

yeosang: you've been through quite a lot, haven't you? i think you try to laugh a lot of it off or treat it lightly, but the demons eat away at you sometimes. you might be someone who burned out in/after high school, and generally does not have a good experience with school. might feel lonely even when you are not alone, sometimes just choosing to float in your imagination for comfort. often act tough or not quite like yourself to appear more like the you you have in your head. i think in part you kind of want to learn how to love the world like yeosang, and are really touched by his sweetness and his humor. you are a fighter and despite it all, do stay true to yourself and your values, and this is something that you find and adore in yeosang. you are drawn in by his ability to follow his dream, and his heart of gold. maybe your scars will turn golden too. (bonus: you probably have a mild obsession with his one-liners)

san: how are your boundaries, broken like the wall? you probably have some trouble with setting and/or maintaining boundaries, and so sometimes have people treading over you. you might feel like a side character in your own life, and so turn bitter and internalize a lot of negative energy. honestly on a brighter note i think you really do try hard for others, and go out of your way to try and make dreams happen for others, because it makes them and you happy. you cheer, you support and you truly show that you are on a loved one's team. I feel that what draws you to san is how he transformed himself in a healthy manner, and how he maintains a very clear circle of those he trusts, and is no stranger to kindly setting rules in place while still remaining sweet and respectful. he is a safe space for you both because he makes you smile with his stories and jokes, but also because he is adamant on keeping things in order. (bonus: his reaction to the merch donation story lives rent free in your mind)

mingi: got some problems with regulating emotions, maybe? be it hiding them until you burst or not knowing how to express them, i think this might be a challenge for you. you might have been exposed to something that made you believe that it is a sign of weakness or a risk. at the same time, you are logical, damn good at what you do, and when you face hard times you bounce back, even if it takes some time. i think you and mingi share the introspectiveness, and you like how thoughtful he is. you probably find comfort in how he shares happiness with others, and how he seeks closeness with loved ones. at the same time, there is something about how he transforms on stages that resonates with you - the power and confidence is something you want to work on and find more of in yourself. (bonus: your will never stop thinking about mingi's creative process monologues + freestyle mingi)

wooyoung: do people tell you you have a big personality, or that you are 'a lot' sometimes? i feel like you have your way of working, your way of thinking, but might have a hard time actually communicating that or adapting to different social environments. it might be because you're headstrong, or because you are in constant fight or flight mode and so are more rigid. at the same time i think you are diligent and very detailed with what you do, and are in fact attentive to others and might notice things others don't. i feel like what you admire in wooyoung is his ability to connect with others, while not losing himself or his values. you feel for his hardships, and he helps you learn how to be more loving and more open with expressing and accepting love. he is very much your candle. (bonus: you cried because of his interview + dance in that one show, didn't you?)

jongho: how many thoughts are spinning in your head? you might be an overthinker, slightly misanthropic, and on bad days might sink to having a victim mindset and ask the universe 'why me?'. you might have had to grow up too fast, or were controlled a lot as a kid - either way, your understanding and experience of freedom and maturity might be warped. at the same time you are reliable and are able to call things out for what they are. you might have also put a positive spin on the negatives and either used them as inspiration, grew from them, or taken a skill from them that you then generalized. i think jongho's humor and innate warmth is your haven, and his continuous self-development grounds you and motivates you to also try your best and think of ways to find the good in situations. i feel you might also resonate with his occasional shyness. (bonus: you often think about his emotional strength even when he talks about his concerns, don't you?)

[ch6sos]

more nanami headcanons (but as your bf !!!)

a/n: hey everyone! thank you for all the support on my last headcanon post. i never really expected it to go far, but somehow it did. it was my first time ever posting a "fic" you know? i was cringing the entire time but it was worth it, for you guys :) since it did well, here is some more!

i used third person by the way so you're referred to as his partner. tried to make this as gender neutral as possible cuz i love you guys

cw: slight suggestiveness (ooooh... but it's not extreme you sillies)

Extreme gentleman. He respects their wishes all the time. If they want space, he will give it to them. He will give them whatever they ask for.

Pays on the first date. He forbids their significant other from doing anything. He will pay because he wants to. He truly wants to, not because he feels obligated to.

Would be kind of shy about doing anything at first, especially Teen!Nanami. Even after a long period of dating, he would always ask before showing affection because he does not know if they feel comfortable or okay with it.

"May I please hold your hand? Are you okay with that?

"...We've been dating for a month."

"I know, but, I must ask, you know? In case it makes you uncomfortable.”

When he (as well as they) grow comfortable, the affection begins to become more "intense." Not intense, but he does it more frequently. He holds their hand more, gives more kisses, more hugs...

He would give the best hugs. He is a cuddle machine. He appears to hate them, but does he truly? Exactly. No, he does not. He loves them so much. He wishes he could give up his job to spend the entire day cuddling with his partner.

"Stay close to me, please."

"I don't plan on moving."

"Good. I wish life were like this every day." He hums, squeezing them gently.

Kisses with him are never short; even if he is late. He never leaves his significant other hanging. He craves and desires to kiss them. He enjoys giving his partner a passionate kiss, drawing them near to his chest, and placing his hand behind their head, leaving a memory of the kiss that is warm, tender, and unforgettable.

Genuinely feels like he could share his emotions with his significant other. Yeah, he is still serious, because it's who he is. He was raised in a family surrounded by serious people. Though, throughout the relationship, he learns how to express his emotions better. He feels like he genuinely could reveal all the emotions he has stored in him already around his significant other. If he's feeling upset, he would genuinely express that to them. If something ticked him off, he would sit down and talk to his partner about it.

Despite all of that, he still is more of a listener than a rambler. He prefers putting others first before him, and that also goes for who gets to talk. He enjoys looking at their partner with a loving gaze, as they talk nonsense. Whether it is about the new show they picked up, their day, or the latest gossip, he loves listening.

He would write love letters. I do not care if you find that corny. He is corny. He will write love letters. Nanami is romantic. I don't care what anyone says he is a romance god who does not get to show it off as much. He loves writing lengthy letters, showing the love he has for his partner. Describes their personality and how much he cherishes them, how much he thinks they're beautiful, and how he thinks that they are the stars in the night sky that stand out.

Playing with his partner's hair is (one of) his favorite ways to show affection. If they have long hair, he loves to try styling it and ruffling it. If they have type 4 coily hair, he starts learning how to take care of it so he can try protective hairstyles on them.

Another thing is lazy Sundays. He loves Sundays. Even though he has to go to stupid work the next day. The sensation of them being in his arms when he wakes up, his arms encircling their bodies firmly, the sheets covering them. He enjoys gently leaning in to kiss their shoulders, the top of their head, and the back of their neck. When they began to stir, he pulled them closer— not wanting to get out of bed. All he wants is to spend Sunday morning in bed with his lovely partner.

Gets flushed at compliments, but it is not as obvious. When their significant other says he is handsome, he smiles softly and thanks them, but on the inside, he is freaking out.

Cooks breakfast in bed for them. Always. He loves getting up just to make his significant other the tastiest breakfast ever; it is his specialty. He prepares a warm beverage and some fruit-flavored crepes topped with Nutella and whipped cream.

Before meeting them, Nanami was kind of an insomniac. He would not sleep; hence why he has dark circles. But after meeting them, he started sleeping more. Despite everything, he continues to get up before his partner to prepare breakfast for them.

Not only that but when he was stressed, he would drink his sorrows away rather than confide in someone. Since the fan book claims that he enjoys drinking, I think that, unfortunately, one of his coping mechanisms is doing exactly that. However, since meeting them, he has kept everything under control. He learned to express himself more freely and genuinely strives to avoid suppressing his emotions.

Bro is a simp. His mouth drops when he sees his partner dressed. His jaw falls to the floor. He is stuttering a bit too. I know he is supposed to be calm and collected but he would NOT be calm and collected around his significant other, people. He would go feral and be a simp for them.

He says I love you first. It was quite unexpected and seemed to come out of nowhere. He just blurted it out without waiting for the perfect moment or anything else. It was probably a simple morning, cuddling with him on the bed as usual, looking at each other fondly, and he said, "You know how much I adore you, right?"

When he realizes what he is saying, his eyes widen slightly, but then crinkle up when they tell him they love him as well.

He will do whatever his partner says. They could be 5'2 or around his height; he is a certified simp who immediately attends to their partner's needs.

Even if that includes forcibly doing silly TikTok trends. He pretends to hate it but he doesn't. He is a munch or whatever Ice Spice said.

He enjoys nuzzling his partner. Guys, I do not care. This man is a bundle of love wrapped up in a stoic-looking man. He enjoys sneaking up behind them, entrapping them in his arms, and nuzzling their neck and the top of their head. Wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And he utters sweet nothings. And leaves tiny, delicate kisses. He also wraps his arms around their waist.

He sometimes becomes overwhelmed, so he requires his own space. However, he does not simply distance himself from his partner. He properly expresses that sometimes he needs his own space. He still adores them but also needs some space. He does not want to cause conflict or misunderstanding because he is not that type of person.

Will be there for them when they are sick, even if they believe they look disgusting. He does not care; he believes they are the most beautiful sight he has ever seen in his entire life (which was cut short) (sorry, I am still coping). He will be there to care for them whether they are throwing up, crying, or whatever.

He cooks for them, he gives them medicine, he cuddles them even though he knows he may get sick...

And he does. Every single time. And he acts like a baby too.

Adorable tall, strong man Nanami acts like a baby when he's sick. He needs to be looked after completely. He starts off coughing (like a grandfather or a father). So his cough is obnoxious and loud, and he frowns. He then looks up at his partner, his expression reminiscent of a puppy who has been denied treats. It is an adorable sight. It's a turnaround from his usual chill demeanor. He then spends the entire day in bed, despite his attempts to do his routine tasks like cleaning and cooking for them, which they forbid. And he pouts about it like a big baby.

"Please let me take care of you. You took care of me, so now it's my turn."

"No, you're sick, Kento."

"That doesn't matter." He frowns.

“You always take care of me anyway.”

“But it is my honor to take care of you, my love.”

and then they end up having seven mental breakdowns

If they bring home a stray one day, he is reluctant on taking it but you know damn well he'd be like one of those dads that is hesitant about taking it at first but then ends up cuddling it the next day and then begging for them to not take it to the shelter.

Genuine sweetheart. Holds the door for their significant other, makes arrangements for them when they can not find the time, prepares meals for them, and if they come from a different culture, he starts to learn about it, particularly if they are involved in it.

...This guy is in no way aggressive. I have seen people mischaracterize him as a dominant "daddy" or whatever because he is serious, and Mappa blessed us with the hair-pulling scene. That scene was primarily caused by rage at Haruta's thoughtless harm to those around him and the fact that the man was going against two young girls. He would never act in such a way toward their partner, particularly when they were in bed. He is more of a gentle lover and is afraid of going too far.

Needs are needs, so if they ask, he will comply with some hesitation. He never seemed to get into it, so he tells them that.

That does not mean he is not into some stuff. Bro be praising. He praises hella and talks them through it.

"My love, doing so well for me."

"So beautiful, so gorgeous, all sprawled out for me like this."

“You’re mine. Until the end of time, angel.”

“God. My love, my everything. You drive me wild, you know that?”

“Eyes on me, sweetheart. Want to see how breathtaking you are from here.” All in his deep, ragged and needy voice.

that made me cringe

help I'm crying at the cringe so sorry

His favorite dates with them involve going to a restaurant. Nanami knows some hidden gems, so he enjoys taking them to restaurants where they can eat delicious food. Being a food enthusiast, it goes without saying that he is aware of the good and bad places to go. Because of Nanami's exquisite taste, they have never had to worry about their food.

As I previously stated, he prefers traditional nicknames such as sweetheart, my love, darling, angel, and beloved. I do not see him calling his significant other "baby," "baby girl," or whatever; I believe he finds it cringe-worthy. This is self-indulgent oops.

Sings softly to them while they are sleeping. He sings a song while they are sleeping because he is too ashamed of his singing. His vocals are not bad; he is just shy. (Little did he know, they had several recordings of him singing in secret...)

He will sacrifice his blanket in bed just to wrap it around his partner if they're cold. Bro would give them 90004868787893 pillows, and 8 blankets if they said they were cold.

He exaggerates things. And when I say he exaggerates, I mean he goes to great lengths to win his partner over. If they enter a new niche, he buys *everything*. On date nights, he gives them large bouquets if they like that, and he treats them as if they were royalty.

"You didn't need to get me this entire figure collection from *series*... I feel so bad."

"Well, do not worry, I enjoy buying these things for you. I see how happy you are, and it immediately warms my heart.”

Arguments with him are not bad. He truly never gets upset to the point of yelling because that is not who he is—he is not a guy who yells and he does not want to cause trauma to people in general. Again, though, he seems composed, and it might be frightening. But he then does something right away that causes his partner to instantly give in. Bro could just breathe and they're like "OKAY" and yeah. I understand. I would fold so hard bro.

His love languages include quality time and acts of service. He loves spending every single second with his partner and is immediately angry at the world when he has to work overtime and can not have more time with them. He enjoys taking them on dates or simply staying at home on lazy days. He loves spending time with them. Furthermore, he expresses his love by doing things for his partner, such as assisting them with their work (if he could), giving them massages when they are stressed, cooking for them all the time, washing their dishes even when they beg him not to, eating the olives off of their plate if there are any... He is the king of acts of service.

He is not good at taking pictures. His large thumb keeps covering the lens, so they have to force him to take the pictures repeatedly. Despite this, he never becomes irritated because he gets butterflies just watching his partner pose in their gorgeous clothes.

Speaking of photos, he already had an Instagram account beforehand. (As much as he hates to admit it, Gojo is sometimes the one who takes the aesthetic photos on his page.) He was not active, but he has a few posts on it, but as soon as they got a partner, oh lord Jesus. Bro will post on his Instagram story every single second.

Even though this happens, he prefers to make his relationship private. Private but known, you know? He wants the world to know that he is lucky enough to date them, but still not reveal information or talk about his relationship to anyone. So he would take those private but not secret type relationship photos.

Captions are always complimenting them and are extremely poetic. He's just that guy.

"saw a breathtaking sight. the beach is also there."

“every aspect of you captivates me, body and soul.”

"we are all floating around with the stars and the universe, and it somehow led me to you."

cringes again

Off-topic but not, Nanami would NEVER, and I mean... NEVER, go for his student if he was a professor, even if their relationship is legal. I can't stand it when people do that. He understands that there's a power dynamic behind it and it's low-key creepy how much people enjoy it.

Along with stepcest. Why do so many of you like stepcest? Nanami is not touching any of his family members. I'm scared to say this and this is probably hella controversial for this app but he's not touching anyone even if they're not technically related.

Age gap too. He would not date someone extremely younger than him. He is not going to be 40 and dating a 19-year-old. I just can't see it.

Other than that, he does not have any preferences when it comes to appearance. He has turn-offs, but not in terms of appearance. He could care less about what someone looks like.

In terms of personality, he dislikes negative people. He despises that. He would feel guilty if he became involved with someone unconcerned about the world. He also dislikes immaturity and pettiness.

He prefers people who bring positivity into his life, you know? Someone much more outgoing than he is, but still a mature person with whom he could relate. The more extroverted they are the more they bring out of him. As long as they're not so overwhelming to him.

Even so, he simply enjoys people for their kindness and consideration. How willing they are, how passionate and motivated they are. He simply wants someone who is driven by their goals.

Texts them dad memes he found on Facebook.

“Look at it, it’s funny.”

“...lol”

“You laughed at least a little bit right?

“...No?”

“Okay. I apologize :(“

LAUGH AT HIS FACEBOOK MEMES PLEASE. THEY ARE NOT THAT BAD PLEASE.

When he met their family, he appeared calm and collected, but he was nervous. He was fidgety on the way to their house, something he had only ever done in high school. He experiences anxiety about whether he would be accepted by them or whether he would be good enough.

“Wow, I have never seen you this fidgety before.”

"I apologize. It’s just… What your family might think worries me. I am not sure if I will meet their expectations. I simply want to let them know how much I genuinely adore you for who you are and how much I want to be yours forever."

And they are like ??? because this man is perfect? He is the dream man anyone could ever ask for.

Do not take this man mini golfing bro he sucks ass… I know you guys think just because he is partly white he will immediately be good at golf but no. He sucks ass.

He would be protective, but not excessively so. He is devoted to his partner and will intervene quickly if someone upsets them, intimidating them with his composed demeanor.

"I advise you to distance yourself from them before I regretfully have to take action, okay? We wouldn’t want that, right?” Dumbledore says, calmly. While puffing out his chest. And mewing. And mogging. Whatever that means.

Okay fine, he will watch Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, Love & Hip-Hop, etc with them. Pretends to hate it but he is invested.

Imagine just going to the bedroom and just seeing him in his reading glasses, sitting up against the headboard, immersed in the book in front of him. The only thing he has on is a simple white tee that does justice to his figure and pajama pants.

Yup feral.

Tries to get into the things their partner likes just so he can understand when they yap about certain things. He just wants them to talk about everything to him. He finds it adorable.

Allows their partner to give him a skincare treatment. He then begins to do it himself. Well, he would only use one product—a cleanser. That being said, he started using toner, serum, and other skincare products. And, yes, he allows them to put ridiculously cute facemasks on his face. And the cute little star pimple patches.

Do not take that man ice skating or rollerblading either. He would be so hesitant on going because he sucks at it. He just goes because his significant other told him to. He fell immediately.

“This sucks.”

“Stop sulking and hold my hand.”

“...You don’t even need to ask.” He says, all giddy.

Please show him the love and care he deserves.

When he works out he will flex on them on purpose. He thinks it is all funny to be all yummy. It is NOT funny.

Yup, he does push-ups while they’re underneath, each time he goes down he gives them a peck.

Yeah so imagine that with him in his compression shirt and shorts…

I could read your mind, people. You are not slick.

This man will not let his significant other have insecurities. He is the type to leave notes all over the bathroom, and every mirror, with encouraging words. Praising their looks and more. Plus he shows in…other ways (wink) how much he appreciates how beautiful he thinks they are.

If they are unhappy, he will truly be devastated. He is miserable when he sees them upset, so he does everything in his power to cheer them up. Whether that’s cooking something for them, taking care of them, trying to make them laugh, getting them something from the store, or sitting down and talking to them about their problems, he needs to make them feel happy.

When he drives, he would not put his hand on his partner’s thigh. He would much rather grab their hand, and put it on his lap, as he listens to them hum along to the radio. He purposely moves the mirror slightly toward them, just so he can see how pretty they are through the mirror. He also looks at them with a slight smile at every stop-light, occasionally leaving small pecks on their face.

Does not mind if they steal his clothes. Go on then silly. He could care less. He thinks it’s cute as hell.

Would teach them how to do things. For example, he will teach them to play an instrument if they do not already, especially if he knows how. He looks like a lovesick fool as he watches them replicate what he did. Unable to resist the urge, he kisses them without reason.

“What was that for?”

"I could not hold back. You are very tempting."

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes. You are everything I think about and want."

Butterflies all around people.

His only red flag is that sometimes he may prioritize work over his relationship. He unfortunately gets into the stress of work and begins to grind more at work. Call him out and he gets back into his senses.

Buys more storage space for his Samsung S24 Ultra to retrieve more pictures of them. His camera roll is nearly full. Just because of his significant other, his camera roll increased from roughly 150 images to over 13,000 images.

When he comes home from work, he immediately collapses on the couch or their shared bed, on top of them. He then looks like a sleepy puppy.

“Someone’s tired.”

“I hate overtime.”

“I know you do. I cooked something for you.”

“I could have just cooked for the both of us…”

“But I knew you’d come all tired from work. So no.”

“That doesn't matter, you know? I love taking care of you. Just to see that pretty smile on your face.” He pouts, once again.

He ends up making it up to them. You can interpret that however you want.

As soon as this man sees them in formal attire (or in general) it is OVER. His jaw is on the bottom of the earth, his eyes are slightly widened, a blush on his face.

“I have no words. God, I don't know how someone could get even more impossibly perfect, yet here you are, darling. No matter how many times I see you, you still manage to take my breath away.”

yup heart attack

Prepare for so many compliments daily. He talks like a true romance book. None of that Colleen Hoover stuff.

Talks about his partner like a true gentleman. He's not like those types of guys who just talk about their significant other as if they're his property. No. He talks about them as if they are an art piece.

Overall, he just loves his partner so, so much. He expresses it in a variety of ways, from taking care of them—to telling them every single second of the day. In his own words,

"Your presence in my life is like a breath of fresh air, keeping my heart full and content. I love you more than anyone could ever fathom, and I promise you, you have my heart for eternity."

i love him </3 NANMINPLEAEE BE RELALRHABADHDJSKDHSNEB

[letsbangchanblog]

NSFW ABCs for KEEHO

Mature content: 18+ post! Minors, do not enter!!

Summary: NSFW ABCs

Idol: KEEHO from p1harmony

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Keeho is really sweet after sex. I think he is rather vanilla and slightly traditional (even if some think otherwise). This means he is blessed to even be having sex. He thinks it's such an intimate thing for you guys to experience together. It makes him really emotional. This is why he wants to make sure you are cared for afterwards. He would draw you a bath and clean the sheets kind of guy. He wants you to feel how grateful he is for you trusting him enough; it doesn't matter how often you have sex. He is making sure you know.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He has said it before, it's his eyes. He loves expressing himself with them as well. He likes to think he has “love you” eyes during sex.

He loves your thighs. He thinks they are so soft, thick, and comfy. He had no idea he was going to love living between them until you asked so nicely.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums ALOT, but not often. This might be why honestly. He loves having sex with you but you guys usually only engage in foreplay. You guys live for days edging each other. He thinks it's more meaningful this way.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is secretly into being tied up and light BDSM, but he is sooo shy about it. He thinks you will hate it but you would really love it. He is slowly going to learn that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He did have sex before but he wants sex more than ever before; it makes him think that you were made for him (soulmates).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary because you guys can hold hands. He loves any position that includes this. If you are on top, he would die if you hold his hands while having them behind his head. He will cum in three seconds.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I don't think he would even mean it but yes. He would just naturally be funny. He ends up loving the way you laugh during sex sometimes. It warms his heart.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very dark and trimmed. He will not go bare or full bush. He refuses. He would never control your grooming so don't control his grooming.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He NEEDS it to be romantic even when you start exploring non vanilla sex or he would stop.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he masturbates every once in a while but would never tell you. He is thinking about you and he is worried you would think he is perverted. BUT YOU WANT THIS (again he will learn over time).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think he wants to fuck you in a car so badly. He doesn't think it's actually possible so he won't ask but he has jacked off to the thought.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed most of the time. You guys will foreplay anywhere but he won't put his dick in you without it being in the bedroom (until he learned the fun of it in the shower)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your love. He gets horny from loving you so much. Its hardly sexual when he wants to fuck you; he wants to show you his love.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not slap your face only your ass but he is even shy about that. He acts so much more confident than he actually is. He would never want you to have the chance of mistaking his actions.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES HIS DICK SUCKED but he never asks for it. He is so lucky you just love doing it. You guys have oral sex more than regular sex.

He loves eating you out so your thighs will squeeze his head and your moans.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Very slow but rough thrusts. He will go fast here and there but most of the time it's slow and deliberate (his love is shown with it)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

No, but you guys can feel each other up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not willing to try until you slowly start asking him to explore. You have to slowly approach things though or you'll lose him. If he doesn't think he can show his love with it, he won't do it; however, if you ask slowly, he will think giving in (he secretly wants it) shows his love.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He doesn't last very long but will go multiple rounds. It's all about making love and will keep going cause it's not as often as messing around.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Slowly ask.. but know if you ask him to use a vibrator so you can come on his dick… HE will learn to use his hands really well. HE HAS TO DO IT CAUSE HE LOVES YOU NOT A MACHINE.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Gives in… would never want to deny you but fails to remember he will play with your ass and tits then run away..

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Moans and whimpers at a medium volume but will do it in your ear. You guys are making love and he wants you to hear how much he loves it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves you in lingerie or dressing up. He thinks it's so nasty and freaky (but it's kinda basic).

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Huge boyfriend dick and he has no idea. He was made to be the perfect boyfriend.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It's higher than he wants to admit. He thinks he is too horny but he is actually average.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He is too giggly most of the time. He is just so happy, he can't rest.

[hiroshikoi]

What natural traits do you have that your future spouse wanted in their spouse? (Which made them decide they would marry you)

Intuitive Reading + Shufflemancy

this reading could basically double as a pick-a-pile simply talking about your qualities/traits. these are the traits your future spouse prioritizes in what they want in their spouse (which you have). At the same time if you don't have every single trait mentioned, please take note that this is a general reading.

thank you so much for 900 followers! 🥳

How to Pick a Pile: Take the time to look at each picture above it is numbered piles 1-4 from top left to the bottom right. Which one sparks a memory? What emotions do you feel? Do you feel anything at all? If all piles spark a memory, choose which one is the strongest. If none, try to go with the one that draws you in the most otherwise, these messages are not meant for you (at this time).

Photos aren’t mine, got it from pinterest and all credits go to the owner.

1 • Pile One

Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft. SZA, My Little Love by Adele, and beside you by keshi

One of the traits that you have that your future spouse wanted in their (future) spouse (so you) is someone that is comfortable with showing their affection to someone. They may like someone that is clingy even. They want someone that would tell them that they love them, verbalizing what you love about them. Shamelessly saying that you wanted to kiss them, hug them, be with them... They want someone that shamelessly expressed their love to them. Your future spouse doesn't necessarily want someone that shows public displays of affection though, but if you were to do that they'd have no problem with it. The emphasis here is you being open about your love to them. Leaving nothing that could be interpret a different way. "If you love me tell me. Please show me. I want you to show me. Please don't be shy or embarrassed.. I love it. I really do. Please don't give mixed signals.."

Communication is definitely a big thing for them, and that's what you have that made them want to marry you. You are not afraid of confrontation, and believe that the best way to resolve things is to talk about it. "I don't want anything to not be clear with you, with us. Please tell me if you have a problem with me, or have a problem in general. Please talk to me, I want you to talk to me." Your future spouse may have had past relationships or were surrounded in an environment that kept him guessing. This caused them a lot of hurt, so now, they really just want someone that makes things "clear as day". They don't want things to be left unresolved, they'd really always make the effort to talk to you to make amends whenever you would have an argument, disagreement, or what not. They love you so much...

I feel like this applies to the both of you, as in they want someone who has this trait because they are like that as well and that is specifically them wanting someone that is a romantic. I feel like before, a lot of people around them thought it was cheesy or may even think they were a player with them expressing their romantic nature but they truly are just like that. They want someone that would do (grand) romantic gestures. I am specifically getting that they want (again i feel like this applies to both of you, so they would do this to you as well) someone that listens to them where they would just randomly say that they like a certain food and you'd come home/meet them surprising them with it. I can see them grinning at this... "You remembered! Wow... hahah"

They are overflowing with their love for you pile one oh my god. Its like they don't want me to end this reading lmao. They also want someone to almost overwhelmingly express your love to them. You'd feel so light. Your body lightweight, speaks to me... lmfao sorry it just came to mind.. You'd definitely feel your love be overwhelmingly reciprocated, I'm seeing like water rushing together but... you don't feel scared of it. You're not thinking about the past, you're not scared of what negative thing that might happen, you're just happy to be there and now. They're happy to just be with you, in that present moment. They'd cherish you everyday for the rest of your lives.

traits: clear intentions, freely showing (overwhelming) affection, open communication, a romantic, putting effort in resolving the problems in the relationship

2 • Pile Two

See You Again by Tyler the Creator ft. Kali Uchis, 00:00 (Zero O'Clock) by BTS, Nervous by The Neighbourhood, and MOON by (G)I-DLE

Hmm.. this pile may be opposite to pile one. Your future spouse likes someone that is more shy about their feelings sometimes. I get that they may have been love-bombed, or flat-out lied to a lot that's why they prefer it to be this way. They may think that its more authentic, because "why would anyone fake being shy anyway? especially of their feelings?". Yeah, while I'm typing this I got the song "MOON" by (G)I-DLE for you lmao. If pile one’s fs liked someone that embodied the sun, your future spouse wants someone that embodies the moon.

Mm.. don't take this the wrong way but your future spouse wants someone that is maybe more of a mess with their feelings. They're more than happy to be your saving grace. They don't care that you're not perfect or that you have lots of lows. They want you... raw.. lmao. not me snorting. They want someone that is comfortable with showing them their bad side, their ugly side. They're someone that will always be with you through the difficult times, the rocky times, for as long as you love them back as they would not stay with someone that doesn't even like them (back; refer to the love-bombing...).

Again, if you don't have every single trait here please don't feel bad but I'm getting for some, your future spouse is into someone that has pretty eyes and you may have that. They may really like the colour of your eyes and how the light hits it, if not your eyes itself. They may like someone that is animated with their facial expressions as well or... you and your future spouse may communicate a lot through your eyes. Like you just know when you give them that look or vice versa (they could tell what you're feeling). They also like someone that keeps their promises, its not necessarily a deal breaker but they'd really really like whenever you are true to your word. It makes them feel like you really are the one. "I can't believe I'm with someone like you... I can't believe you really did it..." (they slightly tear up at this honestly, you're unreal. what a sight..like the moon 😉)

They also want someone that they can run to. They want someone that would be their safe space. They'd especially like moments where you'd just lie in each other's presence not talking, just things being peaceful, enjoying each other's company. They may like to lie their head on your lap.

They just want to make you happy, they want to take your pain away. I am getting that some of you may have a chronic/serious illness (maybe mental illness: depression, anxiety, or etc.) that you are facing everyday. If not, you may be someone that feels like you put so much effort than other people in your life. You may be someone that repeatedly feels defeated (in life). They want to be strong for you, they want you to know that they are there for you, and that they love you. They want someone that they can see wants to keep trying no matter how hard it gets, even though sometimes you think it'd just be easier to give up/you'd want to give up. “I want to take care of you. Let me make it easier for you. Let me help you. I want to make you happy.”

traits: shows/expresses your difficult emotions, shy, keeps their word, someone they can run to/someone that will be their safe space, keeps fighting despite hard problems you're personally dealing with

3 • Pile Three

Hold Me Tight by BTS, Green Light by Lorde, Homewrecker by MARINA, and Uh Oh by (G)I-DLE

You're very loyal and committed. You have so many layers to you, you may be more outspoken and even are pretty levelheaded which sometimes may suggest that someone is more emotionally detached but no you're not like that. To your future spouse at least, you make the possible impossible. You make fantasies real, you cross boundaries (not in the negative sense)/genres/charts (?). You may be logical but still very much in touch with your emotions. Wow I'm so overwhelmed right now, you really are a dream come true to them. They never thought they could meet a human being like you, but here you are. To them, you are perfect, perfectly imperfect. As an analogy/metaphor, its like how a little asymmetry here and there makes someone even more extremely attractive. You make them hypnotized, they can't express how much they love you because its so surreal. You're surreal. Trying to ground these messages more, they may have thought or have been told that they have high standards and so they assessed what they wanted in a spouse. They concluded that yeah maybe they were asking for too much, "I guess how can someone be like that..." and may have not been even possible. I'm specifically getting that of course it will be a lot more personal for each of you but I'm getting maybe you are someone that are freedom loving. As in you like talking to a lot of people, or travelling to a lot of places and with that it may suggest that someone is more flighty or non-committal but you're not. You may actually be the opposite, you're really loyal and are able to exhibit/embody traits that may be contradictory to each other at once.

Yeah, you showed them another way that they never thought was possible. For example, if you travelled a lot or had a job that had that kind of nature, you make the effort to bring them with you and/or you text and call them every day even though you're hella tired. You buy them things/suggest to do things with them that shows that you listen to them all the time.

Again, I feel like this pile is more personal to each one so the traits would be a lot more specific (as in the mix of traits. just emphasize on seemingly more polarizing/contradicting traits that's what you have, you are able to make both co-exist pretty seamlessly). But trying to get a little more here, pile 3 you just have a different way of thinking than most. You just say it how it is or you say these thoughts of yours in such a matter of fact way. You're your own person. You definitely think for yourself.

Your future spouse is so speechless when it comes to you, they're so in awe so unfortunately there's not much dialogue/thoughts that I got compared to the other piles, other than this: "You're... wow.......perfect.." traits: very loyal and committed, having seemingly contradictory traits co-exist, outspoken, different way of thinking than most (or that they have met)

4 • Pile Four

Francis Forever by Mitski, Big AL by Westside Gunn feat. Rome Streetz, and Already by (G)I-DLE

You're transparent. You have your heart on your sleeve, you don't keep secrets from people. You're honest, you live life how you authentically would like to. I'm getting that even though something may be said to be "cringy" (just do what you want guys who cares. life is short! "I'm having all this fun, so why. would I. ev-er stop?") you still do it anyway because you like it. You have the right attitude (for life). People should be more like you. I'm getting that you may have a certain niche you're very good at, and I'm referring to "niche" as in you may have "invented" something. I'm getting that you may be the first at making youtube videos about a certain thing (you're a guide for that game? that job? you may be someone that people mainly go to because you're the first one who does this and you're good at it). You may do podcasts a new way, I'm seeing like drinking on the podcast? lmao i know that's not really new but I'm getting maybe something with liquor/alcohol. There's a lot of traits coming up here now, and I feel like I really am just exclusively describing you.

I'm getting that you're also a calm person, a nice person to be around, like someone just wants to bask in your presence. You also seem to keep improving in life. You keep leveling up. You know how to leave things when it is time. You are able to move on efficiently (?, that's what I got). If pile 3 was kind of more a force to be reckoned with, you may be less "groundbreaking" (not an insult omg) but you're continuous. You just keep going. You continue to live your life. Your past experiences with people or life in general have no weight upon you. Yes you may have been affected and may have made certain adjustments from the lessons you have learned, but you never are weighed down by any of it. "It is what is" may be your mindset and the way you approach life.

You barely mope is what I'm feeling like lmfao. You learn, and continue to keep your head up high. With this consistency, you may have achieved so much. Looking back, a lot has been dealt with by you.. loose ends do not exist with you. You completely close chapters, and that is so admirable. Your fs just can't help but take you in. They're enthralled, they're inspired, they're subtly motivated. With your behavior you make them want to change naturally...and they do. You are a good influence to them and to others (yeah even though you have other habits that may not be role-model worthy.) I'm getting they're almost like your biggest fan pfft. Its like if you for example eat your chicken with ketchup or something, they're like "oh wow cool" and casually starts to do it themselves almost all the time too, and shares it with others that its good even though they may not particularly say it was from you hahah. You influence a lot of their life. With this, I feel like you may also be older than your future spouse or at least act more mature. They're saying this with their eyes gleaming, wholesome vibes: "Can I do that too? I want to do what you did last time it was pretty cool."

traits: transparent, consistent, learns and moves on, lives life authentically, calm, good influence/example

[soaringwide]

PAC: Love reading - In what way are you self-sabotaging this relationship and how can you change course?

Today I wanted to do a Pick a Card love reading and focus on the ways you are self-sabotaging a specific romantic relationship, with a second part focusing on how to change course.

The idea is that sometimes we get in our own way and we can't see the pattern. The whole point of this reading is to realize what it is you're doing that is blocking yourself and how to better act in order to improve this relationship.

How does that work?

Take a moment to recollect yourself, breathe, close your eyes if you need to, focus on the moment. Look at the 4 pictures and select the one that draws you in the most. Not the one you think looks cooler but the one that creates that pinching feeling inside of you. The one that makes you feel it has something to say.

It is possible to feel attracted to more than one pile, just as it is possible to only find parts of the reading relevant. Remember that this reading is meant for many people so it won't be perfectly applicable to your situation.

PILE 1

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: IV of Pentacles + Dreams + Erotic Bliss + 9 of Pentacles Rx; Strength + Resentments + Loving Yourself + X of Cups Rx; X of Swords + Renewal Rx + Unrequited Love Rx + V of Wands Rx

Your pile has intense erotic feelings, perhaps even dreams, about this person, but reality doesn't match the height and perfection of your desire, in the sense that it exists mostly in your head. It makes you feel diminished and lacking and you retreat within yourself, shielding yourself behind your walls. You may be holding onto your sensual daydreams and enjoying them in private and you may find some bliss that way, but it is also very frustrating. Regardless there is a big sexual blockage here that's stopping you from expressing your desire towards your person, and it seems a big part of it stems from your own relationship with your body and sensuality.

You feel unsatisfied emotionally as well, but I think this stems from the fact that you are lacking in the self-love department. You rely too much on external validation for your sense of self-love and when you don't get that gratification, you feel rejected which leads to resentments. Again there's the imagery of building a wall around you, this time covered in barbels. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, keeping bottled up emotions surrounding rejection hidden within.

This is shown in the next message as well. You have this deep rooted fear of being stuck in an unrequited love, of being rejected and humiliated. I have this image in mind of a boat filling up with water and you keep trying to empty it but there's a hole and it keeps filling up at the same rate. There is no renewal (healing of yourself) possible because you're not fixing the hole and it keeps you in misery, in a state of constant struggle. There is also a component of comparing yourself to others and assuming you're not good enough for your person.

How to change course?

Cards: Knight of Swords + Forgive; 2 of Cups + Fear Rx; The Moon + Relieved Rx; Magic

I think part of you reaaaaally wants this relationship with your person but you're not accepting it. You need to understand that you're doing nothing wrong, that it is not shameful, it is normal and natural, beautiful and human even. You may be feeling guilty about this situation because you FEEL you're doing something wrong, and you really need to forgive yourself. Try to focus on the beauty of it instead.

You also need to get over your fear of intimacy. I see the two figures of the two of cups approaching each other mutually. It's a beautiful and sweet card, it's a card of union and happiness, and you know that's what you want, but you're so scared of it that you won't let it happen.

The overall message is to examine your subconscious for biases and shadows, in particular when it comes to fear of intimacy and sexual shame, so that you can relieve that pressure and come forward in love. Perhaps for some of you it stems from a lack of experience, so you might want to educated yourself from trusted sources to help you get a healthier and more balanced picture in your mind. But overall nothing will beat learning yourself, but you got to make way to learn without judgement and shame.

Desire is a beautiful power of nature. It is magical. It is yours. Stop underestimating or undermining it, or thinking it is not yours to have because it's not true. I'm getting that for some of you it might be stemming from religious trauma and shame regarding sex, so you might want to look into that as well in order to heal.

PILE 2

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: 6 of Cups Rx + Sorrow Rx; Page of Swords Rx + Fear of Abundance + Change; 8 of Swords Rx + Intuition Rx + Page of Cups Rx + Relieved Rx

The way you are self-sabotaging is, first, by not being able to let go of past pain surrounding love and to cling onto the past. Perhaps you are nostalgic for sweet memories that are long gone, something that felt pure and simple and that you feel you may never find again.

I feel that you somewhat lost your sense of adventure. You overthink about your past loss and make the false logical conclusion that you'll never receive anything good in matters of love, or that no change is possible. You are stuck in a negative, overly defensive intellectual stance which became like some type of reflex you have a hard time detaching from to progress on your journey.

It's similar on the emotional side since you seem to be over protective of your old feelings. Like, the past seemed so great you feel like nothing will ever compare. You can't seem to release and accept that something new and beautiful in a different way may arise. Which means you have a hard time opening yourself to new messages of love. The curiosity is buried under a pile of fear.

On that note, you are not listening to your intuition at all because it is so polluted by your negative spiraling thoughts. You feel disarmed but you don't see that you have everything that you need to break free. To be more precise, you know yourself, you know what you've been through, but you get lost in the maze of your own mind. And if we add the blocked feelings you hold onto, I see that the problem you have is not so much about external things but rather, the way you deal with your thoughts and emotions.

How to change course?

Cards: The Emperor Rx + Nurture Rx; King of Cups Rx + Your are Deserving Rx; The Lovers + Creativity Rx; 3 of Wands Rx + Anxiety + Manic; The Lover (oracle)

Interestingly, you got a lot of swords in the struggle part but none in the advice part, which makes me thing that the first things you need to do is get out of your head a bit.

With the Emperor, there is this idea that you need to become a good ruler to yourself. Right now you are some type of old tyran that keeps talking about the old times without caring for the present. You need to nurture your present needs, be kind and empathetic with yourself and take the action needed for your own good. How would you feel if someone treated you the way you are treating yourself?

With the King of Cups, there is an extra-emphasis on the realm of emotions. I think that part of why you emotionally stay stuck in the past is that you lack self-worth making you feel undeserving of love.

The Lovers popped up but I think it talks about yourself, about how you need to merge the gap within your own heart. It may seem like a convoluted and difficult task that requires skills and experience, but really, you just need to come forward as you are and communicate where you are at. Be true, be metaphorically naked in front of the other and let them see you for who you are.

Lastly, you are being warned about where you're putting your mental energy. It's like as I said, part of you is stuck in the past, but the part of you that focuses on the future is looking at it wrong. You're feeding it with distorted information, and this creates a storm of anxiety and erratic thoughts that keeps on escalating with no end in sight.

Last advice you got the Lover again (oracle deck) with the sentence ''it is safe to surrender to the good feelings''. So to wrap up with what i was writing earlier, rather than follow your fears and regrets, the best course of action is to follow your bliss! Feed your mind and heart with sweet things to create the change you're wishing for.

PILE 3

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: Ace of Swords Rx + Unknowing + Shame Rx; Empress Rx + Courage Rx; 8 of Swords Rx + Intrusive Thoughts; Page of Wands Rx + Bottled up + Manic Rx

There are some areas of uncertainty in this relationship that makes you feel confused about the situation. It's taking your power away a bit and makes you feel like you don't know what to think or how to act. But I think some of this has to do with a lack of communication that makes you think that this situation is unexplainable where it could actually be if you stepped out of that stance. I feel like you would feel ashamed to bring some subjects up but it's a faulty reasoning.

You lack the courage to express your needs and boundaries, to speak up about what would make you happy and fulfilled. I think you know clearly what you want and what you need but you're just not defending that and you're letting yourself get treated differently than you would need.

I think it makes you feel powerless, like you have no control of the situation, but you don't see that it's the result of a very deeply ingrained pattern of thinking that you can totally untangle if you put in the work.

Lastly, I think this lack of being able to stand up for your needs is leading to a lot of frustration and bottled up feelings that may result in outbursts of anger or fights that may look a bit erratic from another perspective. You might have a tendency to jump to conclusion when it's not what you need in the moment.

How to change course?

Cards: 10 of Swords + Creativity Rx + Wounded Heart; 4 of Swords Rx + Love; 5 of Cups + Trauma Rx; Page of Cups + Anxiety Rx + Forgive Rx

I think a big message is to air out your worries, talk about them or express them in one way or another so they can get resolved. You might even benefit from therapeutic art making I'm getting. But yeah you've got a lot of pain to process and you need to start working on that if you haven't already, and you might want to reach out for help in order to speed up the process.

Love can and will play a part in your healing journey, but you shouldn't have to hide you you are in order to live this love. Find those who inspire you to blossom in order to grow together and heal each other in an act of reciprocity. You need to learn to be authentic and not hide because you are scared you are going to be judged for something that is not your fault. Pay close attention to how someone makes you feel after you left them. Do you feel at peace or at war? Learn to listen to that feeling and you'll be guided towards what you need.

PILE 4

How are you self-sabotaging?

Cards: The Chariot Rx + Wish Fulfilled + The Protectress Rx; The Empress + Hope + 2 of Pentacles Rx + Energy; Judgement + Shame + 5 of Cups Rx + 8 of Swords

The first message is that you are extremely eager to see your wish fulfilled in exactly the way you want, not allowing things to run their natural course. In that situation, the desire to be in full control is not the way to go about it. It seems that this situation is winding path full of detours, and you try too hard to rectify the trajectory instead of going along the ride. The reason for this is that you're trying to protect yourself because you're scared of the pain inflicted by disappointed love, or love that has no place to go, but you don't see that this over-protective behavior is the very thing that inflicts you pain.

The second message talks about depletion, about an imbalance within yourself that stops you from standing in the full power of the Empress, who embodies grace, abundance and safety. The oracle card ''Hope'' is quite signification here, as it shows a hand crossing fingers to make a wish, illuminated by rays of light. I think that the very thing you're not allowing in your garden is hope. If we link that to the previous message, it's your lack of hope that make you frantically try to do things in a specific way, because you will like if you don't act NOW you will lose everything, because you lack faith that you will get this love in your own time. I don't think this hope is totally dead though otherwise you would have given up, but you don't let it blossom enough, you're stepping all over it in your awkward dance to juggle too many things at once.

The third message talks about your struggle to overcome your own limiting patterns and beliefs. I think you've been through past losses and defeats regarding love and you feel somewhat cursed regarding that area of your life. Like things are never going to get better and you're doomed to be alone forever. You feel really ashamed about this situation, thinking there must be something wrong with you. The card shows a hand floating in the emptiness, with an open eye crying. It's like, you have so much to give but in so much pain that all that flows are tears. You feel isolated and powerless and you direct that towards yourself. You feel like you're unable to see or act and that creates immense tension within yourself because you want to break free, but you're doing it wrong by resisting this transformation that needs to happen within yourself first and foremost.

How to change course?

Cards: Temperance + Reflection + Optimism Rx + Space, time and self; Ace of Swords + Anger Rx + Slow Down + 4 of Swords Rx + The Servant Queen; Yin and Yang; 10 of Wands + Knight of Cups

I think you would benefit from being more patient and let things flow more. Let things progress gradually. There is this idea that you are guided towards what you need and you need to learn to listen to this guidance more. Spend time thinking about what it means to you and develop that, find that inner balance and harmony, that gentle optimism. Things will grow in due time.

You have a tendency to be restless and this is exhausting you. So I see that one big thing you need to do as well is being mindful of your energy levels and take time to rest, cool and slow down. The clarity you need will happen naturally once the clouds have parted and you're in a better headspace. Right now you're just going round and round making dust, let it settle.

You are worthy of love, of receiving beautiful things, you need to understand and believe that. Especially when we saw that the patterns and beliefs that were holding you back where rooted in those past losses, you really need to heal that, not just for this love connection, but for your own well-being.

Really there's a strong overarching message that you need to trust your guidance more, to switch from an erratically active mindset to a more receptive and flowy one. The goal is to balance both energies, not to be one or the other exclusively.

Once you unburdened yourself, you'll be able to express and let your feelings flow without restrain. I think that's the goal for you and what you're not able to do at the moment. But I was shown what comes before that because you can't run into this with the mindset you currently have. You really need to shift it before you can embody the Knight of Cups.

[guppygiggles]

The art I posted yesterday was a bit more suggestive than my usual fare. I'm going to talk about this in detail, but here's the long and short of it:

If you don't want to see tickling content from me that is suggestive, block this tag:

#fluffyspice

Here's what suggestive content from me might entail: shirtless men, kisses on tickle spots, expressions of pleasure or gratification from being tickled (verbal and/or facial expressions), hypnosis, or any of these things combined with bondage.

I will not be using this tag for bondage alone. I have always drawn light bondage (wrist and ankle cuffs, ribbons, and/or pinning). If you have a problem with that, even when the context is not romantic/sexual, then I'm gonna be real -- my content probably isn't for you.

More detail about this below the cut.

TW: Discussion of sexual topics and my personal feelings about sex.

I am primarily doing this out of respect for my sex-repulsed ace followers, particularly as a person who is also on the ace spectrum. I don't want to make my existing followers uncomfortable just because I might want to draw more physically intimate scenes. Please keep in mind that I have been drawing for less than a year, so this form of expression is still new to me; I do not know where my art journey will lead me, yet, but I really do not want to limit myself in that way... particularly since my content has been romantic and emotionally intimate from the start, so this shouldn't really be a surprise.

Sex without emotional intimacy does not interest me. This is not a condemnation of casual sex, sex between friends, or sex that is for pleasure and nothing else; there is nothing wrong with those things, they just don't do anything for me. I am telling you this so that you will understand the perspective of the intimate content I might make -- the intimacy and vulnerability are what I'm interested in, not the act of sex. I don't have a desire to draw "porn" in the way people typically think of and enjoy porn (I am also not claiming that porn is always devoid of real emotional intimacy, but I think we can all agree it is typically not the focus.)

Does this mean I'll get upset if you're getting off to my content? This might shock you, but no, I won't. I think self-love is healthy. If what I'm making evokes those feelings in you, that is, as they say, "between you and the lord." I am not trying to make you feel that way, but it doesn't bother me if you do; everything I draw and write is between consenting adults.

So, I guess I'll cut to what you're probably wondering at this point: Am I going to draw bobs, vagine or peanits? Probably not, both because I don't really have a desire to, and it would probably get me flagged if I did. There will (continue to) be shirtless men, though, and I might even draw them being tickled on their nipples. There might be buttcheeks, too (ouh là là).

That's all I had to say, I think. If you have questions about this, I'm happy to answer them (or try to, at least) but please keep in mind I am not an "authority" on these topics, I'm just a guy telling you how I feel. I am going to put either a link to this post or some explanation regarding this in my pinned post, when I get around to revamping it (whenever that is, haha).

I love you, and thank you so much for reading this and enjoying my content. I know I get ranty sometimes, but my experience on this app is 90% positive and I am so, so grateful for your support and kind messages. Even if I don't always respond, I read every one, and I appreciate it so much. 💙

[crushedsweets]

hey sucker! 😋😋

what would the creeps do for valentine’s day?

like yknow, would some be given small treats or do others treat it like a regular day?

happy belated valentines day! hope you guys had fun and shared some love with everyone around you! this is the closest youre gonna get to x reader content from me.

AGAIN THIS IS SET IN MY AU!!! MY AU IS PRETTY DETAILED AND HAS AN OVERARCHING STORYLINE WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED FRIENDSHIPS, SETTINGS, JOBS, CHARACTER ARCS AND WHATNOT....... so :3 yeah.

Tim and Brian probably don't do much. They'll totally grab some chocolates/candy and eat it, but just cuz its there, not as a gift. if they had a partner, they'd just go get some dinner.. flowers, basic stuff. put on an unironed button up and pick their partner up LOL.

toby might do something depending on where he is in the story. early on, he is not doing SHIIIIT. deep into his friendship with nina(who opens up a lot of his emotional vulnerabilities n stuff), he might feel a little inclined to pick up some flowers for some of the girls in his life (nina, clocky, kate, lazari) just cuz he used to do something small for his sister/mom when he was younger (cuz frank never did shit). if he had a partner, he'd def wanna do jewelry and classic flowers. he likes necklaces and rings and piercings and stuff, doesnt wear them much cuz they get in the way, but likes seeing people wear stuff he got. he's the type to make them turn around so he could put the necklace on them, but if they even slightly laugh at him trying to be sweet, he's getting mad HAHA. "ok nevermind im returning this you fucking suck" (jokingly.. but he is embarrassed). would just wanna stay home though, no nights out or anything

clocky would paint stuff. she'd give nina a portrait of herself cuz nina loooves being someone's muse, do some nice art of forest creatures and leave some notes for toby. she'd feel pretty awkward about it just cuz even when she was with her highschool boyfriend, she wasn't good at giving or receiving affection. if she's gifted any flowers (which she will be getting), she's absolutely pressing them and either sealing them in some paintings, or putting it in frames that hold her old art/art she picked up at thrifts. if she had a partner, she'd obviously paint them or something. i could see her spending a long time working through a journal to gift them, making every 3 pages a painting, drawing, or journal entry expressing something. "today you and i went to get lunch. i think the place was way too expensive, but you liked it." and then empty pages for her partner to fill in with whatever they want.

nina. ok come on. lets be serious. its nina. she's gonna buy everyone(as in toby, clocky, kate, jane, liu) one expensive gift (cologne, watches, shoes, jewelry, makeup) and then throw together mini bouquets, notes, and probably shop lift other smaller stuff cuz 'IM BROKE I SPENT TOO MUCH I HAVE TO' LOLLL.. she's the type to literally decorate her house for it, putting up some of clocky's more romantic paintings (cuz she has a collection of clocky's work), setting out heart-shaped coasters, bringing out heart shaped pillows.... honestly she probably already had those.... she'd absolutely plan galentines dinner for her friends, bake cookies, everything. if she had a partner, it would be really similar. she likes to spoil people, gift giving and acts of service are her ways of showing love - buuuut she does want to be spoiled in return, so physical affection and quality time is what she wants to receive. she wants to be treated like a princess, be picked up, have her doors opened for her, told she looks beautiful, etc.

jack is even less likely to do something than toby. before the sacrifice, he'd grab a cheap bag of individually wrapped chocolates and give them to people he knew around campus. i could see him buying the same chocolates and leaving it in his cabin. telling whoever visits him to take some. nina would leave him some flowers too(say its also from toby) and he'd be really grateful, cuz she'd be very sure to get him whatever he thinks smells the nice. that way he can still appreciate it. if he had a partner, YOU KNOW HE'S COOKING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DINNER AT HOME. he's cleaning up, very awkwardly trying to dress nice. black button up, slacks, slick his hair back(or he'd just do whatever his partner says looks best, not too concerned with his own preference). he'd feel sooo fucking embarrassed and very nervous but he just wants to make it special. he'd write a long love letter, too

jeff isnt doing shit for anyone. he'll go steal some chocolate and mind his own business. if he had a partner, one that he ACTUALLY loved and wanted to keep around. maybe he'd pick up some flowers and chocolate, mainly cuz he knows thats the bare minimum sort of gift. he'd let them demand that day from him, which takes a LOT for him to let anyone feel entitled to HIS time. if he knows they have higher expectations (dinner, a letter, etc) he'd probably bitch and moan and be like "ugh you already know im into you why do i gotta do this shit" but if theyre serious, he'd probably do it. half assed though...

kates also not doing anything unprompted. she wouldnt even know the day is coming around. her only memories of valentines day would be passing out some candy and cards around class in elementary school, but once she was in the forest, nobody gave HER shit. she might pick some flowers and wrap it in some paper for people , but ONLY if she KNOWS they're getting something for her. like, she'd pick nina some flowers cuz she knows ninas doing something regardless, but she wouldnt get toby anything cuz she wouldnt have expected it from him. then shed feel bad. if she had a partner, again it'd be similar. she KNOWS she needs to put in the effort, but she doesnt exactly have the resources... the farm does pay her some cash since she works with the animals, but she mostly just gives it straight to toby so he can buy stuff for the cabin. but she'd keep it this time around, and quietly ask toby if he could come with her to get some stuff for them. some sweets, a necklace, scribble out a little letter. smth sweet.

janes married. and she goes all out of her wife. buys her like a 3dozen bouquet of red roses, sets reservations at nice restaurants, makes mary breakfast the morning of. all of that. i dont even know how to go into detail on this because thats just how it is for her, theres not some turmoil for her to work through. she'd also start getting sally some stuff. plushies holding hearts, balloons, sweet things like that. if she had a partner...WELL SHE ALREADY DOES!!!!

if liu knows nina is going to gift him something expensive, he's doing the same. he's going to grab her flowers and maybe some shoes or something he knows she's had her eye on. he wouldn't be really subtle about it, just text her "whats on your wishlist right now" LOLLL... he just appreciates nina's presence (after they get over the jeff situation) and likes having a little sister to spoil. he'd probably send jane a bouquet of flowers with a thank you note, since jane did a lot for him. if he had a partner, it would also be very stereotypical. date plans, picking them up, flowers, etc. he'd LOOOOVE to make one of those big baskets filled to the brim with random shit. would wanna come home and draw a nice bubble bath and have some wine. stuff like that in general...

ben, lulu, ann, and dina wouldnt do anything and wouldnt get a partner. lazari would draw some pictures for her friends! sally will draw something for jane and mary

[yangsharperavery]

so here's the thing...

i've written about this topic a few times during and after season 1, but the carmy and sydney of it all remains a highly contested and discussed topic. even after season two.

what i find so truly fascinating is that chris storer and joanna calo and everyone involved with the creation of this lovely, well constructed show absolutely could have created the duo they work SO hard in the press to convince viewership they intended.

if they really wanted sydney to be a psuedo/standin sibling for the one carmy lost, or the brainy, determined business partner that comes in to orient a sinking ship...

there are a couple hundred ways they could have managed that and made it abundantly clear that's what the angle was within the dynamic between carmy and sydney.

instead... we have all this very overtly (and covertly) romantic, potent and simmering subtext regarding the nature of their relationship and what they mean to one another, their effect on each other and their seemingly endless potential.

in a whole host of ways there are a number of scenes that literally don't make sense without the lens of the undercurrent of feelings or reverence or romance or something that exists between them beyond the intended business partners/co-creatives.

there are ways to narratively parallel sydney as a mirror and equal and peer of carmy's void of all ambiguity and romantic tension and any energy of awkward longing or confusion.

but that's not actually what we got. i've been consuming television media for most of my life. i've watched hundreds of shows; shipping has never been a requirement for my viewership or interest.

which leads me to believe that there's either a bunch of deflection/dismissing happening for a very distinct reason. or there's been a bait and switch planned from the beginning.

you would literally have to remove 75% of the nuance within carmy and sydney's interactions for the stictly platonic claims to make sense and effectively land.

you'd have to go through and remove various staging, shot selection, editing, music choices and sometimes entire scenes to accurately convey original or "intended" messaging.

to completely eradicate the liminal space of subjectivity between them.

why is carmy talking about tina looking like sydney with that distinct expression on his face when they all wear that apron?

why are they being awkward at the lockers like it isn't customary for coworkers and business partners to go out after work for dinner or drinks or whatever (literally evidenced by tina this season)?

why is sydney mentioning jealousy at all when it comes to carmy's relationship? especially when it makes perfect sense for her to be upset with him for not pulling his weight?

why is sydney entering into carmy's life for the first time and deciding to stay, the second time, something that literally brings him out of his panic? when it could have been him cooking, his drawings, his staff, his gf. ANYTHING else.

they effectively made sydney an emotional, mental and energetic tether for him in that scene. for what reason? business partner ones or????

why do they bicker like an old married couple? is that customary for creative collaborators and coworkers?

why superimpose sydney, parallel her doing something the audience saw carmy do last season, and then show her going about her night while he's by contrast, with his girlfriend? why show a random closeup of a meaningful tattoo on her shoulder? no thematic significance beyond the grind of the restaurant world and career ambition?

why is there an obvious awkward breaking of energy after a highly vulnerable and tender moment between the two of them under the table? why does sydney noticeably fidget/adjust herself/her apron when he walks away to get her gift?

there's actually a hundred instances of these questions you could ask over the course of the two seasons when it comes to them.

so the reasoning behind the shipper pushback is baffling and a bit laughable.

some people bring into question, perhaps this is just the natural chemistry that jaw and ayo bring to their characters bc they're obviously good friends.

which... sure. i guess. but even that begs the question, you wrote and shot and constructed a story a specific way and then your two actors sort of bled on and expanded the material in a very obvious way you didn't expect?

cool, cool. so again... you're surprised that could lead to viewership seeing something deeper than mere platonic business partners?

that's shocking and surprising to you?

no way.

especially considering storer and calo have commented on how close jaw and ayo are and that their dynamic is different than the one she has with ebon and lionel. which is hilarious bc she adores ebon and has been out of the country traveling with lionel (and some other people from odd future.)

so clearly they all enjoy each other, are friends and get along.

but why even make that note of demarcation regarding jaw and ayo's dynamic and STILL be like "oh yeah, we didn't write or mean for them to be a romance " you're shocked that people SEE something given your storytelling and their obvious connection that even you, the creators themselves remarked on?!?!

there's a picture from the golden globes of ayo holding jaw's mom's hands during his acceptance speech. like they're really besties.

but i'm sorry, they can't bestie themselves into what carmy and sydney clearly exemplify on our screens without an entire framework at their disposal. because they're talented and professionals.

so if the writing is saying something, then it's intentional.

maybe the intention was to have their characters skirt and skate on the periphery of each other.

maybe it was for things to be awkward and weird and undefined or hectic and toxic.

maybe they weren't ever gonna have some relegated idea of a shipper's happily ever after.

people have feelings that go unexpressed and undefined. people fall in love and then don't end up together.

maybe the slow burn fizzles out, maybe it explodes or implodes, maybe one of them self denies, maybe they both do.

maybe it will or won’t be addressed directly or covertly. that's actually not a requirement for its existence.

to act like there isn't something true and obvious and visceral that exists between these characters is frankly like asking those who watch your show not to use their eyes and their brains.

impossible.

[kaeyas-beloved]

dust

Character: Albedo

— when chalk crumbs, all that’s left is dust

CWs: gn!reader (no pronouns), ANGST, hurt/no comfort, death (Albedo), could be read as romantic or platonic, I bullshit a research entry in this, spoilers for Albedo

val’s no sympathy november masterlist

He... he always talked about losing control. You never really understood what he meant by it, but you do remember the nights holding him tight and swearing that he would never fall to such evil. It just wasn't something he'd do, and your unwavering faith in him always brought him some form of comfort, even when he never believed you for a second.

"It's nice, to have someone place their trust in me that is."

But now, as you stand in the middle of the aftermath, smoke heavy in the air, buildings crumbling all around, any vision wielder that could fight congregating in the middle of the city and a pile of dust on the ground, you're left to wonder if there was any stopping what fate had ordained.

For a split second you could swear you heard nothing. When the arrow was fired and struck the threat to Mondstadt - struck Albedo, you remind yourself, he wasn't something, he was someone - you didn't know what to feel. You could feel the eyes of the people on you as you walked without thought toward the pile of powder. The pain as you scraped your knees on the concrete was nothing compared to the pain in your chest.

"The Chalk Prince... I see now..." you mumbled, hesitating to touch the substance.

"Why are you called the Chalk Prince? Don't tell me it's because you were created from chalk?" You'd asked one day while helping him in his lab, sitting not far from him on a stool.

Albedo remained silent, going back and forth between skimming through notes and adjusting the settings on his burner. "That is a conversation for another time. Now please, could you hand me two lizard tails? One blue and one red."

He never did outright answer you, but you remember him talking about how all living things will eventually and inevitably return to their original state. Maybe this is what he was trying to tell you.

The hand on your shoulder brings you back, but you can't bring yourself to look up at who it is (you later learn it was Kaeya, who had his own complicated expression). From there everything was a mess of colours and muddled words. You catch a couple apologies for your loss, people running to check on their loved ones and their homes, and discussions about what to do now. Nothing really sticks though, a case of looking but not seeing, hearing but not listening. You do, however, remember hours later being handed a wooden box, Albedo's name, birth and death date carved on the front.

“You were the closest to him. Klee also received something similar.” Fuck, you think, a fresh wave of tears coming along. Your heart breaks at just the thought of how devastated and confused Klee must be. Seeing the instant change in emotions, Jean quietly leaves you be.

The hardest part though was going through his office. It was a day you thought you’d never be prepared for. When you arrived you were proven right, stuck hesitating at the doorway.

You’d never again see him sat at his desk, documenting his findings or refilling his stock of alchemy ingredients. That painting in the corner by the window will forever lay unfinished and the small bed never to be slept in again.

His presence will slowly fade and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

With a heavy heart and tears in your eyes, you start the long and agonizing process of packing his things away. Beginning with his desk you put away various books, loose papers, displays and even the drawings Klee had gifted him over the years. You moved on to strip his bedding, then pack away his paintings. By time you reached the last bookshelf the warm hue of the evening sun was already illuminating the room.

Letting out a quiet yet shaky sigh you get to work again. Since the books were already in order you took care to keep them close to one another, taking off three or four at a time. Despite how gentle you tried to be though you managed to drop a few, the covers too heavy and slipping from your grasp. You’re quick to apologize even though there wasn’t anyone to apologize to. Still, it felt like you should.

As you collect the hardcovers and the loose papers that were neatly placed between the pages, a particular title catches your eye. Gentle setting what you gathered off to the side you begin reading through the research entry, which was dated about a year and a half ago.

During my research into the mysteries of life and creation, many documents from various backgrounds mentioned the potential of substances holding 'memories'. Some focused on the nature aspects, how trees and lakes remember what and who has affected them. Others however stated that all tangible beings can be included in this theory. Due to the evidence presented, as well as previous knowledge, I believe both are possible.

Molecular wise, it’s not out of the scope of reality, and it’s backed up in the biological aspect as well if heredity is taken into account. It raises the question of just how far alchemy can stretch the laws of nature, and if this can be applied to any and all substances that have been touched by human and nature's hands.

The moment you finish reading a tiny spark of hope ignites within you, and your body launched into autopilot before you could even think. Chalk is a substance. The chalk was him so it would have memories of him. I could bring him back! You start scanning for similar papers around the room and in his notebooks, hoping to find more clues; you collect the things you think you'd need to go through with this act of divinity.

Just as you're about to dump the first chemical that comes to mind you freeze. You... don't actually have any idea what you're doing...

No, you think, inhaling a shaky breath, I've watched him do these kinds of things so many times, I have to know something. You go to pour again yet stop once more; as the bottle trembles in midair you know deep down it's true, you don't know the first thing about creating artificial life, let alone alchemy.

The bottle thunks back onto the surface of the table and a new wave of tears begins to flow, though this time not because of loss but due to hopelessness.

Your legs are quick to give out from beneath you, your back leaning against the desk and as you bring your knees to your chest, sobs filling the forever quiet space, you manage to choke out your true feelings.

"Albedo... I don't know what to do..."

Tag list: (both regular and event exclusive): @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @kaeyaloml // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kunikuzushiii // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @leena-shi // @ari-the-wr1ter // @xiaos-wife // @milkwithspiceyicecubes // @stygianoir // @francisnyx

+

@kaiserkisser // @multipleshadesofblue // @moloteco-real // @kithewanderingme // @scaramood // @ii-lily2 // @esuz // @kochothehoe // @cindywasneverhere

[kiirotoao]

Can we talk about Mileven for a minute. Another reason I don't buy their romantic relationship is the fact that most of their one on ones as a romantic couple (S3) are comedic and not very serious. Where are the deep conversations and when are we ever shown how much they understand each other... post (S2). It's almost like once they started dating they became a joke? Yes they have a few sweet moments but it's also scripted to be laughable. (S4) never showed them having a honest deep convo resolving issues and growing romantically. It could happen in (S5) but at this point I don't see the emotional romantic draw.

And then there is Byler to compare it to, where most of their one on ones are much much more serious, deep, heartfelt, with actual evidence of understanding and talks involving their feelings (which Mike seems to not have an issue with unlike his plot in S4 with El). This, mind you, happens to some degree in every season with Will. If Mike just sees Will as his best friend, why is he so serious about Will especially alone together. Even best friends are more casual then this.

Also a side note. The (S3) Mileven straight stereotype of the 'lazy, lying, clueless boy' dating the 'girl who is playing hard to get to teach her boyfriend a lesson' troupe is icky and makes me want El to find her power solo and Mike to remember that the old Mike (who has a special will voice) is a much better person and boyfriend. Thoughts?

Damn! Well said, dear anon!! I couldn’t agree more.

To anyone who says anything along the lines of ‘oh, Mleven can’t be broken up, they’ve been building up this whole time!’ Or ‘here’s the slow burn everyone wanted,’ or ‘Mike and El have grown so much even after fighting,’ I really don’t understand how any of that is founded. I totally agree and I feel like their relationship has been rather unserious. Even in the most serious love-centered topics of support (s1), connection (s2), breakups (s3), and expression (s4), it’s really interesting to me how their relationship has consistently lacked depth.

Despite dealing with some of the most important aspects of strong relationships, they aren’t close enough to showing, providing, or proving to have one. Mike supports El in season 1 as she does him, protecting and aiding each other with their strengths. But… so does everyone in that season to each other? The only difference is that Mike sheltered El which is very sweet, but not inherently romantic.

Then there’s season 2, which I must confess - I think that their reunion scene at the end of the season remains one of the sweetest moments on the show. Ever. It’s raw and emotional, and this was the closest thing we got to something romantic. But what shoots it down is the fact that their emotion was due to forced separation and Mike’s very real complex grief which gets completely glossed over in the show. So, I don’t know. It’s tricky. So are they romantic yet? They get virtually no time together. It’s a no for me.

And oh yeah, season 3 was the peak of unserious-ness. I also don’t enjoy that trope of ‘the boy chasing the girl who just doesn’t get it yet and she snubs him until the very end’ kind of energy. I swear that that stuff is littered in family-friendly movies usually as comedic relief, and Mike and El just barely made that trope more serious at the very least. Their breakup is dramatized and humorous, and the way that it’s mended still makes me chuckle. Mike offers her M&Ms, compliments her looks, they smile at each other, and suddenly they’re all good again? Yeah, that’s not very clear romance to me. All season long, they keep resisting each other. Mike lashes out to everyone and declares that he loves El but can’t say it to her face, and El has Max’s words tattooed on her heart that she keeps asserting that she deserves trust. The two just don’t quite reach each other that season. The second that I heard Hopper say that they’ve only been kissing all Summer long without complaining about them talking, I knew that I was not going to be invested in their relationship this season.

And so season 4 was truly the nail in the coffin, the final turning point. They’re not only shallow in making up, they’re shallow in being together. El isn’t honest with Mike about her time in Lenora, how she’s spent it, the people she’s met, the fun she’s truly having. Mike snaps about Will being disinterested, so it’s pretty clear that he was dishonest about his true feelings that day, too. And the most telling part is that he’s not mad at El. He’s mad at Will.

I think that what the writers have done is craft something so deeply intricate and hidden with Mike and Will to the point of confusion in much of the audience today. Will has always been a buffer of affection for Mike. In season 1 he’s the one they’re searching for. In season 2, he’s the one that Mike protects. In season 3, he’s the true breakup that Mike fights for. In season 4, he’s the listening ear and bleeding heart that Mike relies on. Their love only gets stronger and stronger whereas Mike and El are simply loving under the guise of physical closeness. I seriously think that that’s all that they have for each other.

That hug sequence at the end of season 4 really shocked me, because when I saw Mike and El hugging (not to mention that shot with Will right between them) I thought that it was sweet, but then suddenly Will and El are hugging, the siblings who are absolutely platonic, and it felt more emotional than Mike and El’s embrace. So not only are Mike and El visually equated to a platonic relationship, but their bond doesn’t even hold the same weight as the sibling-hood of Will and El.

It’s just wild to me that people don’t see it. I think that Byler is made abundantly clear for us to root for. The crazy together scene did it for me the first time I saw it. It was and still is one of my favorite scenes ever because it’s the total package. Closeness? Check. Honesty? Check. Hurt/comfort? Check. Matching, nerdy Halloween outfits? Check. The lack of anyone or anything else to distract them? Check. The crazy together scene is a marker of their relationship, and it never, ever dies.

Even though they fight, where are they years later? They’ve gone through supernatural and personal troubles together, and they’re still by each other’s side. “Friends. Best friends.” The same at heart. They promise to support each other, they reconnect, they come back from every breakup, and they readily express things on their minds and hearts. They’re there for each other and tell each other things that no other boys in the party have told each other.

Mike and El try to understand each other, they do, and sometimes it’s just trying that’s enough, but on a truly intimate level, that’s bullshit. Mike and Will have everything that they need and want for each other, and there’s no going through hoops to get it besides internalized homophobia. Which I very well think can be reasonably addressed next season.

So yep. Byler is endgame.

[bugsysaboy]

Alright, fellow 5 Kite stans, I got some more headcanons to submit to the council for approval.

(Aka headcanons post part 2, electric boogaloo. Reposting because I have more thoughts)

No content warnings, sfw

-actually understands cybersecurity, his passwords are all unique and actually random combinations of numbers and letters and somehow he never forgets which password goes where (never writes it down, either.)

-speaking of writing...

-my man CANNOT write poetry. Very bad at it. Painfully bad at it.

-he's really good at drawing animals! However! He is somehow 100 percent incapable of drawing people.

-he will sing for someone he loves and nobody else. If you drag him to karaoke, nothing will get him on stage.

-His singing voice is warm and quiet, healing to listen to when you lay against his chest.

-if you sing for him, his heart will melt. It doesnt matter if you are or aren't a good singer; he'll love every moment of it. (Not even necessarily in a romantic sense, he just finds it endearing.)

-favorite color is powder blue

-favorite smell is lavender

-and his favorite tea is chamomile lavender tea

-you ever look at someone and can instantly tell they have stomach issues? Yeah.

-no matter what, he is always at least a lil bit confused when he wakes up. It doesn't matter if he fell asleep in his own bed, he's gonna wake up like "???" and will never know where he is. Takes him a solid minute to actually gather his bearings, too. Don't try to start a conversation with him when he wakes up; he's not gonna process a single thing that you say.

- this dude is s t u b b o r n

- That being said, one thing he is good about doing is admitting when he fucked up. Like, can he be a bit overconfident and prideful at times? Yes, but when he's humbled or makes a mistake, he'll own up to it without hesitation.

- when he's flustered he pulls down his hat!!!

-if he really loves someone he might just stare at them for a long time, which sounds cute in theory but in practice he's just watching you sleep or staring at you from the other side of the room with an unreadable expression on his face and it's!!! Unnerving! But we love him for that <3

-...he doesnt realize it's unnerving

-in my last post I said he would like soup but also! This dude would rock with congee so hard.

-doesn't cry easily, not in the "I'm trying to disconnect myself from my emotions" kind of way but more in the sense that it just takes a lot for him to tear up. He's a very resilient individual, and things don't tend to throw him off.

-Firm believer in the saying of "fall down seven times, get up eight."

-On the rare occasions that he does cry, he's beautiful when he cries; his face is slightly flushed and the tears fall gracefully down his cheeks. He doesn't tend to make any noise and will just stare off into space.

-He also just can't seem to cry in front of other people easily.

-he had very slight esotropia of his right eye. His bottom lashes are disproportionately thick, but also his eyebrows are sparse.

-He has a few very faint freckles on his nose and cheeks, the kind you can only see when you shine a light directly onto his skin and look very closely.

-he has a slight overbite

-and prominent dark circles, the kind that come from poor vascular circulation.

-AND SPEAKING OF CIRCULATION

-DUDE'S HANDS ARE ALWAYS ICE COLD.

-IT'S LIKE TOUCHING COLD METAL WHEN YOU SHAKE HIS HAND.

-THE KIND OF COLD THAT CAN MAKE YOU FLINCH.

-but hey

-cold hands are an excuse to hold hands.

[mimisempai]

I'll find you at the end of the road - Chap 8/8 - Complete

Chapter summary - As long as hope remains

Sometimes you just have to wait for the dots to connect...

On Ao3

Rating G -  3929 words

Chap 1 - Chap 2 - Chap 3 - Chap 4 - Chap 5 - Chap 6 - Chap 7 - Last chapter

Months and seasons passed.

Aziraphale moved out of the lake house and into his old apartment above the store. After the death of HH's CEO, Muriel was no longer interested in staying there, and Aziraphale offered them a sales position in his shop. He preferred restoring and tinkering with his old pieces, and Muriel was good at selling. Aziraphale wasn't a tyrannical boss, and thanks to Muriel, the shop now had regular opening hours without restricting the antiquarian's freedom.

Arthur had remained friends with Aziraphale and was now also Muriel's friend, and more than once they'd come to end the day with coffee at Nina's after picking up Maggie from her shop.

However, all of Aziraphale's friends could see that the antiquarian's gaze sometimes seemed lost. His face wore a melancholy expression. But he never said anything, just smiled, and they pretended they hadn't seen anything, just pampering him a little more than usual.

On New Year's Eve, they partied together, and when the fireworks went off to celebrate 2024, Aziraphale couldn't help but think with nostalgia of other fireworks, wondering what Crowley was doing, where, and with whom. 

A.Z. Fell, M & Co - January 2024

It was already late and Aziraphale was hunched over his drawing table, looking concentrated, when Muriel poked their head through the door.

They said softly, "Aziraphale, I'm leaving now. I've locked everything, so all you have to do is close the front door and draw the blinds."

Aziraphale, concentrating on what he was doing, replied with a hum.

Muriel, seeing that he wasn't listening, approached and looked over Aziraphale's shoulder to see what he was working on.

"A new project?"

Aziraphale looked up and replied, a little embarrassed, "Oh. No. It's just... a personal thing. "

Muriel shifted to get a better look at Aziraphale's work, but the antiquarian tried to hide it. 

His friend insisted and asked coaxingly, "Aziraphale, let me see."

"No, it's nothing."

"Come on. Please."

Aziraphale relented and removed his hands from his work surface. Muriel leaned over and gasped as their eyes widened.

It was the lake house, but reimagined. 

There was a patio at the back and a staircase leading down to the water - the stairs Aziraphale had described to Crowley. There were trees planted along the path and lights shining in the trees. The house was just as extraordinary as before, but much less austere, much warmer, almost romantic, transcended by the changes.

Muriel said quietly, "I like it. "

Aziraphale asked, somewhat anxiously, "You really like it?"

Muriel nodded enthusiastically and replied, "Before, it looked like a place you'd go to be alone. Now I can imagine taking someone there, a family, friends. I can almost envision happiness there."

Aziraphale nodded, his eyes glistening slightly. 

Muriel looked at him with piercing eyes and asked softly, "Who is it?"

Aziraphale replied without hesitation, "Crowley. His name was Crowley."

"When you lived there?"

Aziraphale nodded and Muriel continued, "I knew there was something or rather someone there. What happened? "

The antique dealer replied simply, "I lost him."

"How?"

Aziraphale replied in a hesitant voice, "It's hard to explain. It's mostly... it was... bad timing."

"Do you miss him?"

Aziraphale couldn't deny it and answered with emotion, "Every day."

"Make him come back. "

Aziraphale ran a hand over his face before answering, "It's too late. Or too soon...Impossible."

"What?"

Aziraphale shook his head and replied, "Nothing. It's all so complicated. I don't even know where he is. And even if I did, I couldn't go up to him and say, 'Hey, I'm here, let's pick up where we left off.'"

Muriel asked him challengingly, "What do you have to lose?"

Aziraphale didn't answer, then resumed his drawing. Muriel, knowing when not to insist, looked at him with concern, sighed, and left.

January 2026

Crowley was still living in the same place, and the tree had continued to grow in front of the building. He spent a lot of time with Eric, who had apparently decided to take him under his wing. 

He was still single, but he had a friend, friends even, he could count on, and if sometimes one or the other tried to encourage him to date, they never insisted too much when he refused.

He devoted his life to his classes, the students liked him a lot, and Pepper who kept coming to see him after class had brought other members of the gang with her, and discussions around astronomy had turned into a science club. At least the Them were under supervision for their little experiments. 

Crowley's apartment - Early February 2026 

Crowley had decided to clean up, because in two years he had started to accumulate things, and it was time to sort them out.

He was organizing his clothes when he came across the outfit he hadn't worn since the missed date. His throat tightened as he was about to toss it into the discard pile, but he couldn't bring himself to do it and tucked it away in the back of the closet.

Later, while vacuuming, he noticed a squeaky floorboard. He bent down to examine it and found that it was easy to lift.

Crowley pulled back the plank and to his surprise, there was an empty space underneath. He bent down further to examine it. Seeing that there was something there, he reached in and pulled out a package wrapped in a dusty plastic bag. 

He opened it and his heart leapt; it was his copy of Persuasion.

One page was marked with a rose, now dried and withered by time. He opened it to the marked page and saw that a sentence had been underlined.

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever.”

He stared at the words, stunned.

Rainbow Academy - February 13, 2026

Eric and Crowley, their classes finished, were about to leave the school and walked down the hallways together.

When they reached the entrance hall, Crowley gasped and looked around in amazement and exclaimed, "Ohhh this is beautiful! All these old tools. So well kept."

On display in the hall were ancient telescopes, astrolabes, and sundials, all in perfect condition despite their obvious age. 

Eric replied proudly, "Yes, this is my partner, Muriel, they run the antique shop, A. Z. Fell & Co. They had a lot of stuff like this and came up with the idea. It gives the shop some publicity and it looks cool, right?"

"A. Z. Fell & Co?"

"Yes! In fact, since they started working there, the name has become A. Z. Fell, M. & Co. M for Muriel. Great, right?"

Crowley squeezed Eric's arm and asked, "Can you take me there? I'd like to see the place."

Eric nodded and replied, "I have plans tonight, but how about tomorrow morning, before school, since we both start after 10?"

Crowley replied, "That works for me."

Maybe he still had a chance.

A.Z. Fell, M. and Co - February 14, 2024

Muriel and Aziraphale stepped out in their winter coats, but found the weather surprisingly warm. 

Aziraphale growled, "Honestly, what the hell?"

Muriel shrugged as they replied, "Global warming.

Aziraphale asked, "Would you like to come to my place for dinner tonight? We can invite the others."

Muriel replied with a happy expression, "I can't. I have a date tonight, it's Valentine's Day and some of us have..."

She paused, realizing the cruelty of what she was about to say, when Aziraphale stopped abruptly.

He exclaimed, "What?"

"What, is it so weird that I have a date on Valentine's Day?"

Aziraphale looked around. 

The day was really warm. People everywhere were enjoying the sun. 

He turned to Muriel with a strange look on his face.

He asked, "What day is it?"

Muriel looked at him in confusion, "Valentine's Day, I told you, so it's February 14."

Aziraphale repeated, "February 14, 2024."

"Yeah. What's wrong with you? You're weird, you know?"

Aziraphale, his eyes pensive, replied, "He told me about today. I remember the date."

"Who? You mean that guy? That guy? Your..."

Aziraphale excitedly replied, "Yes! There's a letter saying where he'll be!"

Muriel, understanding less and less, asked, "Did he write to you?"

Aziraphale nodded quickly, "Yes. I can see him today. You told me the other day...what have I got to lose?"

Muriel pushed him forward and said, "Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, you idiot!"

"I just need to find the letter!"

Aziraphale ran back to his apartment above the shop and rummaged through his old boxes until he remembered that Crowley's letters were still in the lake house, in the attic. He grabbed the spare keys to the lake house and ran to the Beetle at top speed.

A.Z. Fell, M & Co. - February 14, 2026 

"Hi Muriel!"

"Eric, you didn't tell me you were coming to see me at the boutique."

Eric said sheepishly, "I forgot to tell you that I had a friend and colleague Crowley who asked if he could see the shop."

He pushed himself forward and Muriel watched as Eric's friend entered the store.

"Hello Crowley, nice to meet you..."

But Muriel saw that the man looked frozen, staring at a point behind them.

They turned and their eyes fell on the sketch Aziraphale had made of the lake house with the changes. Framed and hanging on the wall.

Eric's friend murmured, "Who drew this?"

Muriel, looking surprised, replied, clearing their throat, tight as always when they thought of Aziraphale, "It's a friend, Az..... Aziraphale."

Crowley repeated, heart pounding, "Aziraphale... it's him."

Muriel replied in surprise, "Yes. Do you... do you know him? "

Crowley nodded, "Yes. He... where is he? Is he here? Is he working here today?"

Muriel suddenly looked very sad and said quietly, "I'm sorry. Don't you know?"

"What?"

Muriel replied emotionally, "He died. Two years ago." 

She swallowed before continuing, "Two years ago today, to be exact. Around noon, there was a bus accident in the city..."

Crowley, shocked, asked urgently, "Where in the city?"

Seconds later, Crowley was getting into his car as the rain began to fall, Eric behind him, confused, calling out, "Crowley! Wait up! What's going on?"

When he started, Crowley told him, "It's an emergency! I don't have time!"

Eric simply asked, "Is it?"

Crowley, buckling his seat belt, replied, "Yes!" 

Then, just as he was about to slam the car door, he heard his friend yell, "Go Crowley! Get him!"

Crowley drove out of town toward home, rain beating on his windshield. He weaved between lanes, passing cars, driving

Lake House - February 14, 2024 

Aziraphale stopped in front of the lake house. It was locked and apparently empty. He ran across the path and unlocked the front door.

Lake House - February 14, 2026 at the same time

Crowley arrived home and slid to a stop in the rain in front of the mailbox. He pulled out a notepad and began writing frantically.

Lake House - February 14, 2024 at the same time

Aziraphale hurried to the attic. 

Inside was the only box he'd left there when he moved out. He opened the box and searched feverishly. He found Crowley's bundle of letters. After a few moments, he found the one he was looking for and read it. 

Last February, I remember it was Valentine's Day, but it was really hot for a February day.

I was sitting on a bench at noon in Saint James Park, near the intersection of Spur Road and Birdcage Walk.

He read aloud, “Saint James Park, just off the intersection of Spur Road and Birdcage Walk.”

Lake House - February 14, 2026 at the same time

Crowley finished writing the note and stepped out of the car, unaffected by the rain, and with shaking hands placed the note in the box before raising the flag. 

He stayed there and fell to his knees in front of the box, drenched from the rain, staring anxiously at the flag. 

Lake House - February 14, 2024 at the same time

Aziraphale jumped into his car and sped away from the house.  

Saint James Park - February 14, 2024 - Noon

Aziraphale found a parking spot and parked the Beetle. He got out and ran up Birdcage Walk along Saint James Park.

In his hand he held a piece of paper, the words of which echoed in his head. 

My dear Aziraphale. 

I know now... it was you near the park that day. 

It was you at the crossroads. 

Please don't go there.

Something terrible will happen if you go there.

Aziraphale continued running toward the location indicated in the letter before stopping at the edge of the sidewalk, separated from the park by a busy street. He looked away, searching for Crowley beyond the noisy traffic, among the crowds in the park.

Please don't look for me.

Finally he saw him, a distant silhouette, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun. His unmistakable red hair caught the sunlight. Aziraphale smiled.

Don't try to meet me. Not right now.

They are now separated only by distance. No longer by time.

Don't run to me.

The traffic eased for a moment and Aziraphale could clearly see Crowley, straight ahead.

Do you understand? I beg you, please. You must wait.

Aziraphale stepped off the sidewalk to get closer to Crowley.

Forget everything I said before.

We both have to wait. 

Not just you.

Both of us. 

If you love me and if I love you.

Not if I love you, because I'm sure I do, I love you, it took me so long to say it, but I really do. 

So if you love me too, wait for me.

Aziraphale saw Crowley straighten up and turn his head toward him, as if drawn in his direction. Even from a distance, Aziraphale could see his worried expression. 

Wait for me. 

Wait until time catches up with us and we can be together. Please wait. Just... wait.

Lake House - February 14, 2026

Crowley soaked, is in tears at the foot of the mailbox and whispers over and over, “Wait, wait. Don't go there. Please, please.”

The rain continued to fall. 

Crowley, finally, having lost all hope of seeing the flag move, tried to pull himself together and began, very slowly, to stand.

He looked at the box and was startled, the flag had come down.

Hands trembling, he didn't dare open the flap.

He took several breaths, and when he finally had the courage, he opened the box and saw that his letter had disappeared.

Saint James Park - February 14, 2024 - Noon

Aziraphale stood in the street, trying to see a little more of Crowley, and at the last second he backed up to the sidewalk. He kept looking at Crowley, desperately wanting to run to him, but he didn't; he folded the letter, put it in his pocket, and reluctantly turned and walked away. 

Safe and sound. 

Lake House - February 14, 2026

Crowley stared at the empty mailbox, his face soaked with tears and rain.

Suddenly, a hand came gently up from behind him and slowly closed the mailbox. 

Crowley gasped and turned slowly.

Aziraphale was standing silently in front of him, staring at him, holding in his hand the letter that Crowley had just put in the mailbox. Crumpled and worn, as if it had been read over and over again.

Crowley stared at him for a moment, trying to convince himself that this was all real. Then Aziraphale took a step toward him and smiled shyly before asking softly, "Have we waited long enough?"

Crowley, still in shock, his eyes filling with tears, murmured, "Yes...yes."

Aziraphale came even closer, smiling more openly this time, bringing his hand to Crowley's face and wiping away a tear with his thumb. Crowley leaned his cheek into his palm, closed his eyes, and murmured again, "Yes, we've waited long enough.

Then, finally, they wrapped their arms around each other, holding each other again and again, letting the embrace linger, pulling away to look at each other, making sure it was real, and embracing again.

Making sure they were both real, there and alive.

After a few moments, Crowley pulled away and, taking Aziraphale's face, now as drenched as his own, between his hands, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the other man's.

For long minutes, they parted only to catch their breath before kissing again, over and over, indifferent to the rain that continued to pour down on them.

Much later, when they parted again to catch their breath, Aziraphale took Crowley's hand in his to lead him home.

Crowley gasped as he looked at the lake house. 

The lake house had changed.

In the two years of Aziraphale's life, the life Crowley had saved, Aziraphale had transformed it.

He'd brought to life the project he'd shown Muriel two years ago, with the patio and the stairs to the water they'd talked about, and the trees planted along the path, lit and shimmering in the rain.

Crowley laughed in amazement and turned to Aziraphale, pulling him close and kissing him again.

Then they walked along the path together, stopping often to touch and kiss.

As they passed the door, Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's sleeve and said, "Wait."

Aziraphale turned and replied in a falsely pouty tone, "Haven't I waited long enough?"

Crowley grabbed his hand, intertwined his fingers with Aziraphale's, and said softly, "I don't want to wait to tell you for real this time. With my voice. My eyes in yours." 

He paused and, with a trembling smile and shining eyes, said to him, "I love you."

Aziraphale, his voice hoarse, immediately replied, "I love you."

They held each other again, enjoying the bliss of hearing those words from the beloved voice for the first time.

Then they entered their home, ready to begin a new life where all was yet to be discovered. 

Together.

The lake house - Summer 2027

"Arry! Arry!"

"Joel! Take it easy, sweetie, and wait for your little sister!" 

Bill and Frank followed their children a little farther behind, hand in hand, then watched fondly as they gave gentle caresses to a Harry who seemed to enjoy it.

"Joel, Ellie, stop spoiling Harry, he's going to keep coming to us for petting."

The two children stood up and grabbed the legs of the man who had just spoken.

"Uncle Zira!"

He lifted them both up, carrying each of them in one arm.

"Harry gets petted and I don't get a hello kiss?"

Each of the two children placed a sound kiss on Aziraphale's cheeks at the same time.

"Should I be jealous?" came a voice from behind Aziraphale.

"Uncle Crowley!"

Ellie was already reaching for Crowley, who didn't hesitate to take her in his arms. The little girl gave him a big kiss on the cheek and squirmed for him to put her back down.

Crowley and Aziraphale, side by side, greeted Frank and Bill.

"Bill, Frank, welcome!" 

They all hugged and then walked together to the patio overlooking the lake.

As Frank sat down in one of the garden chairs, he said with amazement, "I may have been here many times before, but I'll never get tired of this view."

Aziraphale motioned for Bill to sit next to Frank before sitting down himself.

Crowley was about to sit on the arm of Aziraphale's chair when he heard the unmistakable sound of a car pulling up to the house; Aziraphale started to get up, but Crowley motioned for him to remain seated. "Stay seated, angel, I'll go."

He walked down the path toward the oncoming cars. 

Eric was the first to move toward him, "Crowley!" before embracing him. Crowley was now used to his friend's outpouring of affection and allowed himself to be patted on the back. 

They were soon joined by Newt, Anathema, and Mrs. Tracy, and all followed Crowley into the house. When they reached the patio, everyone greeted each other and sat around the table chatting happily. Joel was in awe of Mrs. Tracy's red curls, and Ellie laughed out loud as Eric bounced her in his arms.

"Is this the way to the little party?" 

Heads turned to the source of the voice as Aziraphale exclaimed, "Muriel! I thought they lost you on the way."

Muriel laughed slightly and replied, "Arthur, Maggie and Nina got lost, so I had to direct them by phone. Where do I put this?" 

They pointed to the cake in their hands.

"I'll take it," Aziraphale replied. 

He went with the cake to the kitchen, where he was suddenly overcome with emotion. He waited a moment to compose himself before returning to the patio.

"Hey, angel, what are you doing out here all alone?"

Aziraphale looked up and smiled, murmuring, "Crowley."

Crowley, who after more than a year had learned to decipher his husband's expressions, noticed his emotional state and gently asked, "Hey, what's wrong with you?"

Aziraphale wanted to speak, but the emotion was too strong, so Crowley wrapped his arms around him and held him close until his husband was ready to speak.

After a few moments, Aziraphale stepped aside, a trembling smile under the tears, "I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm not sad, not at all, on the contrary, but I suddenly had this irrepressible urge to cry."

Crowley nodded in understanding and brushed Aziraphale's hair back before saying softly, "Just too much emotion, perhaps? What were you thinking?"

"I... I was putting the cake on the table and I thought, if I hadn't read your letter, none of this would be real. I wouldn't be here. There wouldn't be all these people on our patio. And it freaked me out for a moment to realize that we could have almost lost everything."

Crowley, visibly moved as well, pressed a tender kiss to d'Aziraphale's mouth, and when he pulled away, Aziraphale continued, "But on the contrary, you, or rather we, gained everything. You saved me, you gave me a new life, and in doing so, you gave us all a different and better life."

Crowley nodded, planted a light kiss on his husband's lips, then stepped aside to take Aziraphale's hand and lead him out onto the patio, a tender smile on his lips.

"Come on, let's party!"

As Aziraphale was pulled along and they crossed the living room, his eyes fell on his mother's book. His first family. His mother and father. Then his eyes slid to Crowley beside him, and by extension, everyone else on the patio. His new family. Their new family. Not by blood, but by heart. 

All because Crowley had sent a little letter one day.

Dear new tenant.

Hello and welcome to your new home and congratulations, blah blah blah. You've made an excellent choice, Ditchling is a wonderful place and this house is a gem, as you may have noticed.

I'm sure you're going to love living here as much as I have.

Crowley did not know that day that these words would be so prescient, even though they came from the future and were addressed to someone in the past.

Oh yes, Aziraphale loved living here, but not because of the house.

He loved living here because of the love that filled it. 

Because of Crowley.

“There could have never been two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved." 

Persuasion - Jane Austen.

_________ I hope you enjoyed the ride. I will probably come back to them in this universe, as always in form of oneshots. Thank you for having followed, liked and commented on this story! <3

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey, Slug! Not to be rude, but I noticed some things in your Positive Is My Life translation that I don't think really line up with Hifumi as a character, so I wanted to give my own POV on it. Sorry if this comes off as mean, I'm just very passionate about this.

For starters, I don't agree that the "princess" stuff was meant to refer to his clients. This song is very explicitly performed for the Block Party, and he's not in host mode here. It's not in character for him to be trying to flirt with his clients/women if he's not in host mode, and there are also no clients present. In my opinion, based off of canon, I think the "enchant" playstyle is meant to refer to his host mode, while the "princess" play style is meant to refer to him out of host mode. In host mode, he's shown to be enchanting, handsome, and, well, host-like. Meanwhile, out of host mode, he's meant to be much more cute, bubbly, effeminate, and generally much like the common idea of a princess, or a man who is princess-like.

Second, I can't see how the last verse would be referring to Honobono at all. This isn't really how he talks about her, and especially with the events of the drama track attached to this song, this wouldnt make sense. He has never once expressed the desire to become friends with her, and his playful tone here isn't reminiscent of how he behaves when talking about her at all.

I respect you deeply as a translator, and you've inspired me to want to try to take up translating myself, but if I'm being honest I feel like you might've taken too many creative liberties with this one. Because of this, a lot of this translation is just... kind of inaccurate, in my opinion. No offense of course, and thank you kindly for it and your work in general, these are just my personal thoughts. Thank you for your time.

Hey! Thanks for reaching out, and I appreciate the feedback. You don't come across as mean, but all the same, I'd like to explain my decisions in further detail. It sounds like you may be missing some context.

I agree that Hifumi isn't in host mode throughout the song, but there are definitely elements that hearken back to the flirtatious attitudes he takes in host mode. 笑顔の魔法に釣られてきた (dictionary-definition literal: you are lured in by the spell of a smile) is one such example. This notion of being "lured in" is common in Japanese romance and is indeed reminiscent of the things Hifumi says to his clients. Here, since it's being used in the context of friendship, I thought English "lured in" suggested a sense of manipulation that's not emphasized as strongly in Japanese 釣られてきた. Since the smile is being used like a video game spell, I wrote it as "I cast SMILE. It’s super effective!" and moved the notion "the smile draws you closer and makes you one of us" into the next line. I would consider all of those decisions to be perfectly valid--and even commonplace--in translation.

We also see more of the host-esque language in the lines 魅せプ決めて騒ごうよ！TO NIGHT! and 姫プ決めて守られたい夜も… As mentioned above, 魅せ ("enchanting") is a staple of Japanese romantic conventions--the idea of someone being so hot/charming/skilled/whatever that the other party goes against their "rational" judgement and lets their emotion take the wheel. 魅せプ is indeed a regular video game term, and it refers to when someone is so damn good at the game that you can't take your eyes off of them. However, with the "tonight" element as well, it suggests the romantic connotation of 魅せる. Hearkening to "night" is another staple feature of Japanese romantic imagery and one Hifumi uses quite frequently.

We see that night (夜) image appear again in the 姫プ line, along with 守られたい (dictionary-definition literal: on nights when [agent] pays like a princess and wants to be protected). The notion of protection once again creates a strong romantic image, especially coupled with "night" and "princess." 姫プis, once again, a normal video game term. However, it's not a positive term. To play "like a princess" is to sit there and let your teammates do all the work. To me, this doesn't make sense to ascribe to Hifumi, as it suddenly switches the agent from the listener/friend in the rest of the song to Hifumi himself. It also doesn't align with the image we've seen of Hifumi in the rest of the song (doing everything for friends, as opposed to selfishly demanding others do work for him). I could see an argument for this being him referring to himself on nights when he wants to let his guard down and let others take care of him, but that again requires a grammatical subject switching that isn't substantiated by the rest of the song. Passive voice doesn't automatically make the speaker the agent, as you can see in 笑顔の魔法に釣られてきた: [the agent] is lured in by the spell of a smile. It doesn't make sense for Hifumi to be drawn in by a smile, so the reader automatically assumes it's the "you" in the rest of the song performing the action.

Finally, I don't think the 姫プ person is Hifumi because the line is strongly feminine-coded. Outside of the word "princess"/姫, the entire notion of sitting back, "selfishly letting others do the work," and "being protected" is associated with women in Japanese romantic conventions. I'm not saying I agree with this idea--I don't whatsoever--but I can also recognize that this line sounds romantically charged, as it plays into a bunch of romantic tropes, and therefore would be a little odd if Hifumi is taking on the female role. (I don't see Hifumi's bubbly persona as supposed to be inherently feminine in Japanese, fwiw.) This is also why I hesitated to write the romantic tone in English; it's founded on misogynistic ideas that tend to stand out as offputting to English readers. Since it's not supposed to be offputting, I thought it would do the translation a disservice to introduce that tone and instead steered around it. I would again consider this to be a completely valid and commonplace translation choice, but I also see the drawbacks. It's clear now that my word choice wasn't as transparent as I would have liked it to be.

As for the final verse, this one does appear to have a different audience than the rest. Previous audiences (the listener, friends) are キミ, a word that, in this instance, denotes a kind of emotional closeness. It must be someone that Hifumi feels comfortable with. In the last verse, Hifumi says お前がラスボス. The お前 is not as close, which suggests both that this is someone Hifumi is not as familiar with and also is perhaps an adversary. The " お前がラスボス" phrase is commonly used in action/adventure stories and thus gives this line a dramatic tone as well, which also makes me think it's supposed to be an adversary. This may partially be him pretending to be more HRGGH MANLY ADVENTURER for the fun of it (evidenced as well in なろうぜ on the following line), which I can see as the biggest argument for this not being Honobono. However, if it's not her, then I don't see why the writers would specify 誰も傷付けず (no one has to be hurt) or include this verse at all. Especially given his line in the second Block Party drama track (仄々…僕は君の友人だ。今までも…これからも… "Honobono, I was once your friend...and I still am!"), I would argue that he explicitly and canonically has expressed his will to be her friend.

Finally, I agree that the overall playful tone of the song doesn't match the serious tone in which he normally addresses her, but to me, this can easily be explained by a difference in mediums. The drama tracks allow for topics to be explored much more seriously than this overtly bouncy and upbeat song.

Again, thank you for messaging me, and I hope this clears up some of my thought process!

[ailendolin]

Idk if you're still doing the ask game but if you are --> ❤️‍🩹 Pat & Thomas (platonic or romantic idm) :)) love your fics btw <3

I'm always up for doing ask games, no matter how long ago it was that I reblogged them. So thank you for sending this in! 💙 I don't ship Thomas and Pat so I'm going for a platonic headcanon based around the hug they shared in series 5. I hope you enjoy it!

Headcanon ask game can be found here. Answered asks for this ask game are gathered under this tag.

❤️‍🩹 - Hurt/Comfort

Pat realised early on that Thomas can talk for hours without really saying anything. It's the things he doesn't say that are the most enlightening, so Pat starts reading between the lines. It's how he learns that Thomas's father wasn't around for most of Thomas's life, or perhaps not around at all, and that Thomas would have traded all the money and support his mother gave him throughout his life for something as simple as a hug from her.

There is an emptiness in-between Thomas's sentences when one knows what to listen for; an aching silence that tells of a longing Thomas doesn't know how to express. Pat can't quite put his finger on what that means until Thomas pulls him so desperately close the night they think one of them will move on. When Pat makes him pull back almost at once, shame and embarrassment are written all over Thomas's face for all the world to see, and the puzzle pieces are finally falling into place.

There is no time to act on his revelation that evening. Too much is going on and emotions are running far too high to draw any attention to it. But the next morning he goes to find Thomas in the library, and when he sits down beside him, he doesn't hesitate before he pulls him into a hug - a gentler, less desperate version of the one the night before.

"You've been waiting for this for two-hundred years, haven't you?" he asks quietly. When Thomas's breathing hitches, Pat smiles sadly and holds him tighter. "I'm always up for a hug, mate. All you have to do is ask."

It changes everything. At first, Pat has to open his arms in silent invitation whenever it looks like Thomas is in need of a hug but once it sinks in that he really meant what he said, Thomas starts coming to him of his own accord. He's all shy and self-conscious when he does but Pat doesn't mind, not when Thomas smiles at him so heartbreakingly genuinely every time they part. It suits him, that smile, and Pat is glad to see it emerge more and more these days - and all because of a simple hug.

[the-fandom-abyss]

Hi! I was just wondering do you take requests? If so could you ever write something sweet and h/c with Verna? Literally anything at all with her being kind and comforting. I don't see many blogs writing her so I'd be really grateful. If not, then what's your opinion on her character overall? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks!!

One thing we didn’t get to dive into is how romantic Verna is. You can see that in the way she recites poems, the way she sends people to sleep, how she speaks to them moments before their passing. I feel that is how she would be with someone she loves. She would be the one to cook breakfast in bed, just so she could snuggle with you longer. Or she would set up a romantic dinner with candles and music, just so she can end the night by dancing with you. Or something as simple as cleaning, she would want to be near you at all times, help out where she can.

Sometimes Verna’s comforting techniques can be a bit skewed. For example, if anyone uses their power over you or threatens you in any way. She will strike a deal with them, just like she did with the Ushers. She will mention this to you with a “they’ll never hurt you again”. Their luck will begin to turn and eventually they will cease to exist. If she is feeling particularly passionate about it, there might be some luck in the deal for you. Whether that be riches, houses, cars, power. Whatever Verna believes you need in that moment, she’ll get for you.

Alternatively, she is also the world’s best listener. She will happily hear your side of the story, soaking it all in. She will ask if you want to vent, or want some advice or if you want her to problem solve. Depending on the answer, she will act accordingly. When it’s just to listen, she will comfort you afterwards with a stress free bath, cuddles with a movie or she’ll brush your hair for you. She’ll tell you how proud she is when you express your emotions.

If you are wanting advice, Verna will draw upon her many years in humanity to find the perfect response. Sometimes the advice does not translate well but her heart was in the right place. Her advice can even be goofy, just something for you to smile or giggle at, because for her that is the simplest joy.

If you wanted her to problem solve that doesn’t involve her creating deals and orchestrating their deaths. She will offer suggestions that could help and like her advice they can be very hit or miss. It’s the thought she puts into it that counts. Often times you ask for help just to hear her speak, her voice is just so beautiful when passionate. And of course Verna knows this so she will go around the block with her response just so that you get the most of it.

Death is something that many people fear, which rightly so, if your death is anything like the Usher family. However, death can also be kind and gentle which is seen through Verna’s actions. If it ever comes to it, Verna will send you with sweet dreams. She will morph the atmosphere to be one of love and respect, something that you would find peace in. Once it was done, she would wait with you, just long enough for you to transition over.

1k Follower Celebration