#even at 25 i WILL have to start sometime
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what song includes a lyric that contains your current age (ex "nobody likes you when you're 23" from what's my age again by blink 182) and do you feel like that line is an accurate depiction of your life right now
#this post doesn't make any sense. however#i base my life around these song lyrics#22 WAS the worst idea I've ever had#at 23 it WAS time to practice what i preach and be happy now#even at 25 i WILL have to start sometime#NOT happy about her dreams went out the door when she turned 24 :(#mine
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LOST: Season One
#lost#abc lost#lost one cap per ep#this was a project i was gonna do anyways but the timing worked out that i could post the first one on the 20th anniversary!#this is one cap per ep every season. from left to right. and this is important: its not a cap that sums up each ep#its a cap that REPRESENTS each ep. the way i choose them varies every episode#sometimes its an utterly iconic moment. sometimes it reps the theme of the ep. or it hits with a theme of the character themselves#sometimes the cap i use won't even involve the character whose centric episode it is. trust me. this makes sense#anyways i'll give a good example: for outlaws i was so tempted to use a shot of the judgemental soulful gaze of the boar#or perhaps sawyer in the rain after he shot that man#but! i used that shot of sawyer's dads legs as sawyer is hiding under the bed. i feel it worthy because this moment. this scene#is literally a core part of sawyer. it's a defining moment of his backstory. of his character. so yeah. makes sense yeah?#anyways some eps had Too Much going on (lord i could make one of these for exodus part 1 alone) and some not enough#or well they DID but like lacked in caps that Hit in the way im thinking. thank heavens charlie shot ethan cuz i was worried about that ep#i was like ''aw shit what am i gonna use'' and then an iconic lost moment happened kjhfdsjkhfd#anyways. there are 25 eps in season one. so im really glad that the last ep contains one of the moment iconic visuals/moments in all of los#oh i should add that these caps are unedited. i did not fuck with the colours or saturation in any way#i found 'em and i pieced them together. this is harder than it sounds. i browsed through all the screencaps of every ep of season one#and i will do so the remaining five seasons#some of these were super easy like i knew what cap i'd be using before i even started (eg. do no harm. the moth. in translation)#but some took some real Thinking. and some eps even had several caps that would have worked. this has all been quite interesting#also yeah. y'all already know damn well what cap i'm using for the very last episode
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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Today's events and the past few months of bullshit have made me feel so rejected from my local LGBTQ community.
#tried to write about it in my last 2 posts but it's hardly a short story :/#i'm so lonely#my hormones are fucked up and i feel like shit#going on t cannot come soon enough i can tell you#i think i'm perimenopausal :'(#i spent today with the LGBTQ youth group's stand at the park thing#because my name is mud with the organisers of the main group now#this youth group is not super young it goes up to 25 i think#but i'm WELL over 25 and omg i felt so fucking old#and it doesn't help that the main group barely has any transmasc people but this youth group it seems like it's fucking everyone#i just spent the whole time about to cry because i feel like i wasted my entire fucking 20s#being around people who came out in their teens fucks with my head#they have their whole lives ahead of them now#god sometimes i feel like when i came out as trans a door opened up somewhere and now i'm freer#and it hurts so fucking much that i couldn't have gotten there sooner#when i was in the main LGBTQ group i was around people who came out as trans in their 50s and 60s#so i neve felt old there i felt young#but now I can't go back there ever :(#i think there's 2 ages- your actual age and your number of years post coming out/transition#i haven't even started physical transition#i'm so jealous i feel sick i hate myself#i hate the other group for rejecting me
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Actually it was surreal as hell to look at my transcript today. I've got all but 3 classes done or in WIP. I'd have to Severely fuck up to fail any of my classes this semester, by this point. Which I don't think will happen. Honestly I might even get straight A's for the first time in college. Which would be cool!!!
So just three classes left. Just three. It's so wild. I'm pretty excited.
#speculation nation#for the first time i actually glanced at the 'apply for graduation' option#to graduate at the end of spring id have to apply by sometime in february.#idk i'll bring it up with the advisor tomorrow. make sure im actually good to graduate with these 3 classes.#part of the problem is the fact that i didnt see the classes i have to take 2 of on the offered list#which makes me nervous about whether theyre even available next semester. and what id have to do to take them.#alternative options? or *waiting*? thatd be even worse. so im not sure yet.#the other thing is that my major started requiring students to take an internship in order to graduate#but since ive taken a long ass time my index year aka when k started doesnt have that as a requirement.#at least that's what my last advisor said :p so im nervous about if this new one says differently.#an internship would certainly be useful for getting work experience and resume padding#but i never wanted to before bcus i needed to work my job. that paid me Money. unlike the probable internship.#and also i dont have my license and i DEFINITELY dont want to TRAVEL. what would i do with my cats#?????#so i havent done an internship. and i dont intend to. but if he says it's actually required then id have to work to get one over summer#etc etc. then graduation would be delayed.#i really really hope it doesnt turn out like that. i really Really want to just be done already. by the end of spring.#spring 25 give it up for graduating spring 25#i was originally class of 19 lol but i like 25 better. in terms of numbers.#class of 15 for high school and 25 for college... yes#and YEAH it's taken me 10 years😭😭😭😭 thats why i dont want it to take any longer 😭😭😭😭 im so close i just wanna be DONE WITH IT!!!!!!#so fucking close i can taste it. im halfway done with my current semester too. So Fucking Close...
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Communicate like an adult and get results :)
#one the best things I've learned to do in the last five years is advocate for myself#new people took over the kennel I contract at and they haven't been giving me any of the boarding nail trims#I've been a little miffed about it but didn't say anything bc I assumed it was a money thing - if I do the nail trim I get commission#but if a kennel tech does it they don't get commission#today I caught them with a special baby of mine tho and they had just gotten started so I said#I'm supposed to be the only one who does her nails#and the tech was thrilled bc she doesn't like doing nail trims anyway#so after that I pulled myself together and said something to the manager about how the old owner had me do basically all of the nail trims#and he goes#great!#we all hate doing nail trims#and I ended up with 3 today and 2 tomorrow which is an extra $25 in my pocket so that's awesome#i really have found just talking about things like an adult (calmly and rationally) can get you the things you want most of the time#ig bc I grew up with a parent who would sometimes snap at me just for speaking I always expect the worst reactions from people#but so far I've found I almost always get the best#and even when I don't get what I want#nobody has yelled at me for asking
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Sorry literally no one cares abt bebop at all but speak like a child makes me feel so much for the bebop crew (and ofc Faye in particular) but more like the group’s behavior toward her like that scene of spike ruining the vhs player is so like. He sees young Faye on the screen and realizes that’s a personal thing and this random dude who works at the electronics shop doesn’t need to see that and then AFTER jet and spike realize it’s a video of Faye they go through all that shit just to get a vhs player to watch the video at the bebop and even though they tell her she can’t watch it unless she pays the fee for it being delivered she leaves and watches from behind them (like they wouldn’t know she was there)
#idk their group just makes me like#they’re just thrown together and they shouldn’t care about each other but they do#and they can say it all they want they can say they wouldn’t miss each other if they left but they still go looking for each other#or they eat a hundred eggs in one sitting so they don’t have to face their feelings#it’s a family only u didn’t know what it started becoming a family all u know is you’d do anything for them now even though u won’t admit it#and that’s why it hurts so much when spike leaves#because they all know he won’t come back#and even he knows and that in itself is a betrayal bc why don’t u want to live for us#anyways sorry Omg literally no one even cares#and everyone has said everything there is to be said about this show I just will never be normal about it sorry#ghost thoughts#sorry I shouldn’t say no one cares I know people care I just feel silly sometimes analyzing a show that 25 years old like girl we get it
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#sometimes i worry/get scared when people like 18/19 start talking to me in a certain way#bc like i’m 24 yk and that’s a 5/6 year gap and i know when i was that age i saw 24/25 year olds as like ‘older women’#so idk but like what if people only like that ideal of me bc i am considerably older?#what if it’s just a fantasy to people that age to be with someone my age yk#idk i’m just soft and i have feelings too and idk just a random thought that popped into my mind#and bc what if i’m seen just like that bc i am older#i’m not even making sense just rambling so yeah#just ignore this
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Was like damn there should be an ace dating app for people who are like asexual or gray romantic or gray sexual. And then I went to google that and realized that would involve sharing my information with an app and giving up personal info to people. And I’m reminded of the people I had to block and the issues I’ve had with guys™️ in the past and that makes me want to break out in hives. Like would hopefully ideally be different. But. Alas. I’ll just have to believe in rom communism.
#normally I’m like whatver who even knows if I’d wanna date someone I feel bad about like trying to date someone if I was unsure if I’m#capable of having romantic feelings#my wanting to date people only happens after we become friends#and I have trouble understanding the difference between romance and friendship#so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#normally I’m like romance averse or neutral but sometimes I am like longing and I do want romance and I guess that’s today just randomly got#emotional studying during for property#I was like thinking about how I have as to explain to my dad like I don’t think I’m every gonna date or marry someone#and he’s like u could still date even if u don’t wanna do other things you should try to meet that#idk everyone I’ve ever liked sex has been a thing that’s too important to them lol or they ended up dating my brother#or it was a crush on a someone who lived way too far away for it to be realistic#idk. and normally I’m fine with that#but then (I started thinking about this bc of the Buffy danny poll bc it reminded me of my little cousin who really liked danny phantom#and who had a crush on danny when she was like 10 it was cute#BUT then I was like wait she knows I’m gay but does she know I’m ace and then I’m like well I’m 25 and have never had a date she’s probably#pieced something together#but then like also why would she think about it or care she’s a teenager#and then I thought about fi I’d ever have to explain which reminded me about the convo with my dad which made me think of all this idk#I truly thought maybe I was internally aro after all bc I hadn’t seemed for care or think about dating for like a few years now but then#boom maybe not as much as I thought#ignore me
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2025 book bingo time 📚
want a completely arbitrary set of reading goals for 2025? want to try something new in your literary diet but don't know where to start? just like a challenge for the sake of a challenge? just love a good game of bingo?
boy do I have something for you!
for anyone planning to participate, please know that I LOVE attention and talking about books, so I would be STOKED to be tagged on any and all updates about what you're reading or planning to read. I'm so, so excited to see all the different ways these prompts get filled, especially if and when they bring people away from the kinds of things they normally read. not to mention snag some new reading recs myself, hopefully!
and of course, I want to know whenever somebody gets a bingo - and ESPECIALLY if somebody fills the whole board! I don't have any prizes for you, but I can offer a sense of accomplishment :)
note that this is designed to be played as 1 book = 1 space, so even if you read, say, a fantasy graphic novel published in 1923 from an indie publisher that has a bat on the cover, you'd only cross off one space. I'm not a cop and I'm not in charge of what you read, so if it sparks more joy to check off multiple spaces per book then go nuts, but I am throwing that disclaimer out there.
EDIT: the 2025 book bingo challenge is now also on storygraph, thanks to @obi-wann-cannoli!
wondering what some of these spaces mean? seeking a couple recommendations to get you started? no idea what a zine even is, let alone how to make one? worry not! I have a guide to all 25 prompts, including recommendations + an example of what I'll be reading throughout the year to fulfill each space. read on beneath the cut!
Literary Fiction: I find that a lot of people are reluctant to check out literary fiction, as it’s often written off as not being about anything but adultery and divorce. If this is you, I implore you to take a chance, acknowledge that adultery and divorce are compelling sometimes, and also remember that lit fic has a lot more to offer than that. At Writer’s Digest, Michael Woodson describes literary fiction as “less of a genre than a category,” which “focuses on style, character, and theme over plot.” My recommendations include Raven Leilani’s Luster, Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, and Melissa Broder’s Milk Fed.
I’ll be reading: Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
2. Short Story Collection: You know, a bunch of short stories together in one book? It doesn’t get much more self-explanatory than that. Could be a collection of stories by a single author or an anthology—it’s up to you! I recommend checking out Mariana Enríquez’s The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (translated by Megan McDowell), Nalo Hopkinson’s Falling in Love With Hominids, and Kim Fu’s Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century.
I’ll be reading: Your Utopia by Bora Chung and translated by Anton Hur
3. A Sequel: It could be one that you’ve been meaning to get around to, one that’s not releasing until 2025, or the sequel to something you read to cross off another space on this very bingo sheet!
I’ll be reading: Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhao, sequel to 2021’s Iron Widow
4. Childhood Favorite: Go back and read a book you loved as a child, tween, or teen! There’s no wrong answer here; anything from a YA novel to a picture book would be just lovely, and I can’t wait to see what people pick for this option! I’m not sure which of my old favorites I’ll be revisiting yet—should I go for the warm and fuzzy Casson Family series, or straight towards the mindfucky sci-fi of Interstellar Piggy? Or maybe I’ll go see how Artemis Fowl holds up...
5. 20th Century Speculative Fiction: For those not familiar with the term, speculative fiction can encapsulate science fiction, fantasy, and anything else that falls into the unreal. You’re spoiled for iconic choices here: the 20th century gave us Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness, Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale, Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Kindred, L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, the beginning of Pratchett’s Discworld series, Diana Wynne Jones’ Howls’ Moving Castle, and countless others.
I’ll be reading: Dawn by Octavia E. Butler, love of my literary life 💜
6. Fantasy: Fantasy comes in a thousand different shades, from contemporary urban wizards with day jobs at the office to high fantasy spellslingers chasing dragons away from castles. Some examples I’ve adored are N.K. Jemisin’s The Killing Moon, C.L. Polk’s Witchmark, Fonda Lee’s Jade City, and Nghi Vo’s Empress of Salt and Fortune.
I’ll be reading: The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty
7. Published Before 1950: This one could not be more straightforward if I tried. You have all of human history (or at least, all the parts that have surviving literature), just not the last 75 years. Dig deep!
I’ll be reading: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, published in 1938
8. Independent Publisher: Did you guys know that just five publishing companies (Penguin Random House, HarperCollins Publishers, Macmillan Publishers, Simon & Schuster, and Hachette Book Group) are responsible for 80% of books published in the US each year, and 25% of books globally? Break away from the big five and see what some small presses are putting out! If you need some ideas about where to start, check out this list of nearly 300 independent publishers with notes on what kind of books they put out!
I’ll be reading: Taiwan Travelogue by Yáng Shuāng-zǐ and translated by Lin King, from Graywolf Press
9. Graphic Novel/Comic Book/Manga: Despite my personal obsession with Batman, the world of comic books is sooo much wider than Gotham City—or anything else that DC and Marvel have to offer. If superheroes aren’t your speed, check out the Southern gothic of Carmen Maria Machado and Dani Strips’ comic The Low, Low Woods, splash around in Kat Leyh’s graphic novel Thirsty Mermaids, or stop waiting for a new season of Dungeon Meshi and go read Ryoko Kui’s manga, translated to English by Taylor Engel.
I’ll be reading: The Fade, by Aabria Iyengar and Mari Costa
10. Animal on the Cover: Yes, yes, don’t judge a book by its cover—but do go find one with a critter on the cover and give it a read! Absolutely no other requirements here, get silly with it.
I’ll be reading: Shark Heart by Emily Habeck
11. Set in a Country You Have Never Visited: Fiction or nonfiction, doesn’t matter so long as it gives you a little glimpse of a country you’ve never visited in real life. If you’ve somehow visited every country currently recognized in the world, then I guess you get to go read something set in space.
I’ll be reading: A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon and Kim Sanho, translated by Anton Hur
12. Science Fiction: A genre just as diverse as fantasy, with a little something for everybody! I recommend Becky Chambers’ Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet for those who want to kiss an alien in the stars and Jessamine Chan’s The School for Good Mothers for those who want a surveillance state dystopia that hits much closer to home.
I’ll be reading: Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase
13. 2025 Debut Author: Read a book by someone who’s releasing their first book in 2025. Fic or nonfic, any genre, no further requirements. Not quite a free space, but pretty close!
I’ll be reading: Liquid: A Love Story by Mariam Rahmani, coming out March 11
14. Memoir: Per Wikipedia, a memoir is “any nonfiction narrative writing based on the author’s personal memories.” Some are funny, some are heartbreaking, some are both! I recommend Carman Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and Roxane Gay’s Hunger, because I tend to lean heartbreaking!
I’ll be reading: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Again, I like heartbreaking!
15. Read a Zine, Make a Zine: Not familiar with zines? No problem! Check out some of these digital archives for inspiration, and then craft your own zine with this simple guide (or do it your own way, I’m not in charge of you).
Internet Archives: https://archive.org/details/zines
Gay Zine Archive Project: https://gittings.qzap.org/
POC Zine Project: https://poczineproject.tumblr.com/
Library of Congress: https://www.loc.gov/collections/zine-web-archive/
16. Essay Collection: Like a short story collection, but it’s nonfiction now. Some of my favorites include Samantha Irby’s We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, Elaine Castillo’s How to Read Now, Aimee Nezhukhumatathil’s World of Wonders, and Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings.
I’ll be reading: A Little Devil in America: In Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib
17. 2024 Award Winner: What award? Any award you like! And boy, there are tons to pick from. Any book that won any award in the year 2024 is free game. If you need some places to start looking, check out some of these:
Lambda Literary Awards, for excellence in LGBT literature: https://lambdaliterary.org/awards__trashed/2024-winners/
The Alex Awards, for adult books with crossover appeal for teen readers: https://www.ala.org/yalsa/alex-awards
Ignyte Awards, celebrating diversity in speculative fiction: https://ignyteawards.fiyahlitmag.com/2024-results/
Women's Prize for Fiction (self explanatory) https://womensprize.com/prizes/womens-prize-for-fiction/
Others: https://www.bookbrowse.com/awards/
I’ll be reading: Biography of X by Catherine Lacey, winner of the 2024 Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Fiction
18. Nonfiction: Learn Something New: I know very little about archaeology, anthropology, or any other fields that involve studying ancient cities, but Annalee Newitz’s Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age was some of the most fun I had with nonfiction in 2024, because every page brought a brand new discovery. For 2025, find a nonfiction book about a topic you don’t know ANYTHING about, and learn something new!
I’ll be reading: Cooling the Tropics: Ice, Indigeneity, and Hawaiian Refreshment by Hi’ilei Julia Kawehipuaakahaopulani Hobart
19. Social Justice & Activism: Read a book about a social issue, the history of an activist movement, or brush up on a guiding philosophy or ideology. Arm yourself with knowledge, besties, because I have a feeling we’re going to need it! if you need a good place to start, why not try Angela Davis' Race, Women & Class, Mariame Kaba's We Do This 'Til We Free Us, or Molly Smith and Juno Mac's Revolting Prostitutes?
I’ll be reading: White Feminism: From Suffragettes to Influencers and Who They Leave Behind by Koa Beck
20. Romance Novel: Listen to me. Fucking listen to me. I mean a ROMANCE. NOVEL. Not a novel that incidentally has a romance in it. Romance novel, motherfucker. Go check out the romance section and have some whimsy as two people fall in love through the most contrived series of events ever conceived. If you really need a romance that makes you feel smart (that’s still sexy and messy as hell), try Akwaeke Emezi’s You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty.
I’ll be reading: Go Luck Yourself by Sara Raasche
21. Read and Make a Recipe: Could be a cookbook, could be a recipe you yoinked from the New York Times, could be something your grandparents lovingly wrote down by hand. Could be as complex or as simple as you like, just make something tasty! Some cookbooks I’ve enjoyed are Sohla El-Waylly’s Start Here, Dan Pashman’s Mission Impastable, and John Wang and Storm Garner’s The World Eats Here.
22. Horror: Slashers, zombies, haunted houses, creeping paranoia, you name it! It’s time to get spooky and scary with all kinds of things going bump in the night. Maybe this is the year to finally keep up with Dracula Daily? Not for me, I'm not doing that, but you could!
I’ll be reading: I Was A Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones
23. Published in the Aughts: A throwback, but not too far back. Read something published between 2000 and 2009. Maybe it’s time to finally get into Twilight? (For legal reasons, that’s a joke.)
I’ll be reading: The Sluts by Dennis Cooper, published in 2004
24. Historical Fiction: You know, fiction that takes place in a bygone era! Please remember, this isn’t just about reading a book that’s old; we have a separate prompt for that! This is about reading something that takes place in the past relative to the time it was written. Pride and Prejudice is historical to us, but was contemporary when Austen wrote it. Think of Brit Bennett's The Vanishing Half, Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, or history + a bit of fantasy in book's like R.F. Kuang's Babel.
I’ll be reading: The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon
Bookseller or Librarian Recommendation: This one is fun, and something I always like to do when I’m travelling and visiting a new bookstore. Ask a bookseller or librarian to recommend something they’ve liked, and check it out! If going in person isn’t feasible, many bookstores and libraries have staff picks on their websites, and the Indie Next List is a monthly list of independent booksellers’ favorite new releases.
I’ll be reading: The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse by Louise Erdrich, which I bought at Erdrich’s bookstore, Birchbark Books, this summer :)
lastly: tagging people who asked to be tagged to make sure they didn't miss this! @thebisexualwreckoning @perfunctoryperfusions @reallyinkyhands come get your bingo sheet!
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Also, just like... you don't have the answers. You can't tell someone what they're feeling or why they're feeling it. Stop fucking projecting on people your own values, needs, assumptions, priorities, etc. You can give people information about being trans. You can talk about the ways you felt similar before transition. You can ask if they've considered they might be transgender. But you do NOT get to decide that someone is something they have not told you they are. Cis people deviate from gender norms sometimes. You gotta learn to live with the fact that not everyone reacts the same way to everything, and your perception does not necessarily reflect reality.
In short: give people resources if you think they might benefit from them, but do not assume you know them based on your own assumptions about their experience.
where in the everloving fuck does the "oh you shouldn't pressure eggs to transition, let them figure it out in their own time" attitude come from anyway? who the hell is sitting there thinking "damn I wish i had transitioned later, damn if only nobody had told me that this was a thing when they did, damn i'd be doing so much better now if i had a few more years of not understanding this under my belt"? anyway if you try to push that shit you're a police officer
#fucking hate people who project everything onto other ppl#sorry but like people are different sometimes#also#i *started* transitioning at the age of 29#i didnt know i was trans until i was something like 24 or 25#but i think someone acting like i was an egg when i was in high school would have been more stressful than helpful#know what got me there?#my friend from college came out as trans to me#and i decided to do some research#and the access to that information helped it click#so yes definitely provide info & resources to 'eggy' seeming ppl#but yeah don't fucking diagnose them with Being Transgender#and don't assume that breaking the egg is that person's priority even if they ARE trans#there are trans people who WANT to stay closeted believe it or not#harassing people to identify the way you think they should based on behaviors that you have gendered for them is Shitty
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#it's Friday and I'm in my pyjamas since like 4 PM...what a life.#now my stomach decided to kill me so I just collapsed on the couch and then my brain started to be self destructive too and now I'm sad#feeling kinda lonely#i love isolating myself and solitude more than anything but sometimes I just want those small things#like someone who would take me for a walk like I'm a fucking dog#or watching movie not on my own#cooking or baking for someone#and I'm trying to get over it because I'll probably never get this stuff in my life#i miss being around my family because those are the only people i feel comfortable with#all friendships i have feel like chores or job interviews#i feel like I can't feel this connection with anyone anymore#i don't share same interests or opinions with my friends anymore#i don't have same life experiences as them#and it's still alright to see them from time to time but I just don't feel the need to be intimate with them#i mean intimate like vulnerable#and I don't fucking know how to make new friends when you're 25 and introverted and little ugly#and I don't even know if I want friends#i guess I need a pet that's all#no I think I just need less free time so that I don't have time to think those things#but you know what I'm still doing good like overall I'm happy with my life#i still feel so fucking grateful for everything i have right now compared what a mess it was just few months ago#not even speaking about one year ago#and two years ago doesn't even feel like me an my life anymore#it feels bad saying it but I'm proud of myself because I did this all by myself#I'm here doing good only because of myself#like I gave myself all this stuff i always wanted#I'm making myself happy for the first time in my life#for the first time in my life I don't fully hate myself... just a little :) sometimes#sometimes I can even feek sorry or forgive my past self but that's still work in progress#i don't know what am I saying anymore this is what happens when I'm with no chores or responsibilities for more than one hour
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"The studios thought they could handle a strike. They might end up sparking a revolution"
by Mary McNamara
"If you want to start a revolution, tell your workers you’d rather see them lose their homes than offer them fair wages. Then lecture them about how their “unrealistic” demands are “disruptive” to the industry, not to mention disturbing your revels at Versailles, er, Sun Valley.
Honestly, watching the studios turn one strike into two makes you wonder whether any of their executives have ever seen a movie or watched a television show. Scenes of rich overlords sipping Champagne and acting irritated while the crowd howls for bread rarely end well for the Champagne sippers.
This spring, it sometimes seemed like the Hollywood studios represented by the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers were actively itching for a writers’ strike. Speculations about why, exactly, ran the gamut: Perhaps it would save a little money in the short run and show the Writers Guild of America (perceived as cocky after its recent ability to force agents out of the packaging business) who’s boss.
More obviously, it might secure the least costly compromise on issues like residuals payments and transparency about viewership.
But the 20,000 members of the WGA are not the only people who, having had their lives and livelihoods upended by the streaming model, want fair pay and assurances about the use of artificial intelligence, among other sticking points. The 160,000 members of the Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists share many of the writers’ concerns. And recent unforced errors by studio executives, named and anonymous, have suddenly transformed a fight the studios were spoiling for into a public relations war they cannot win.
Even as SAG-AFTRA representatives were seeing a majority of their demands rejected despite a nearly unanimous strike vote, a Deadline story quoted unnamed executives detailing a strategy to bleed striking writers until they come crawling back.
Days later, when an actors’ strike seemed imminent, Disney Chief Executive Bob Iger took time away from the Sun Valley Conference in Idaho not to offer compromise but to lecture. He told CNBC’s David Faber that the unions’ refusal to help out the studios by taking a lesser deal is “very disturbing to me.”
“There’s a level of expectation that they have that is just not realistic,” Iger said. “And they are adding to the set of the challenges that this business is already facing that is, quite frankly, very disruptive.”
If Iger thought his attempt to exec-splain the situation would make actors think twice about walking out, he was very much mistaken. Instead, he handed SAG-AFTRA President Fran Drescher the perfect opportunity for the kind of speech usually shouted atop the barricades.
“We are the victims here,” she said Thursday, marking the start of the actors’ strike. “We are being victimized by a very greedy entity. I am shocked by the way the people that we have been in business with are treating us. I cannot believe it, quite frankly: How far apart we are on so many things. How they plead poverty, that they’re losing money left and right, when giving hundreds of millions of dollars to their CEOs. It is disgusting. Shame on them. They stand on the wrong side of history at this very moment.”
Cue the cascading strings of “Les Mis,” bolstered by images of the most famous people on the planet walking out in solidarity: the cast of “Oppenheimer” leaving the film’s London premiere; the writers and cast of “The X-Files” reuniting on the picket line.
A few days later, Barry Diller, chairman and senior executive of IAC and Expedia Group and a former Hollywood studio chief, suggested that studio executives and top-earning actors take a 25% pay cut to bring a quick end to the strikes and help prevent “the collapse of the entire industry.”
When Diller is telling executives to take a pay cut to avoid destroying their industry, it is no longer a strike, or even two strikes. It is a last-ditch attempt to prevent le déluge.
Yes, during the 2007-08 writers’ strike, picketers yelled noncomplimentary things at executives as they entered their respective lots. (“What you earnin’, Chernin?” was popular at Fox, where Peter Chernin was chairman and chief executive.) But that was before social media made everything more immediate, incendiary and personal. (Even if they have never seen a movie or TV show, one would think that people heading up media companies would understand how media actually work.)
Even at the most heated moments of the last writers’ strike, executives like Chernin and Iger were seen as people who could be reasoned with — in part because most of the executives were running studios, not conglomerations, but mostly because the pay gap between executives and workers, in Hollywood and across the country, had not yet widened to the reprehensible chasm it has since.
Now, the massive eight- and nine-figure salaries of studio heads alongside photos of pitiably small residual checks are paraded across legacy and social media like historical illustrations of monarchs growing fat as their people starve. Proof that, no matter how loudly the studios claim otherwise, there is plenty of money to go around.
Topping that list is Warner Bros. Discovery Chief Executive Davd Zaslav. Having re-named HBO Max just Max and made cuts to the beloved Turner Classic Movies, among other unpopular moves, Zaslav has become a symbol of the cold-hearted, highly compensated executive that the writers and actors are railing against.
The ferocious criticism of individual executives’ salaries has placed Hollywood’s labor conflict at the center of the conversation about growing wealth disparities in the U.S., which stokes, if not causes, much of this country’s political divisions. It also strengthens the solidarity among the WGA and SAG-AFTRA and with other groups, from hotel workers to UPS employees, in the midst of disputes during what’s been called a “hot labor summer.”
Unfortunately, the heightened antagonism between studio executives and union members also appears to leave little room for the kind of one-on-one negotiation that helped end the 2007-08 writers’ strike. Iger’s provocative statement, and the backlash it provoked, would seem to eliminate him as a potential elder statesman who could work with both sides to help broker a deal.
Absent Diller and his “cut your damn salaries” plan, there are few Hollywood figures with the kind of experience, reputation and relationships to fill the vacuum.
At this point, the only real solution has been offered by actor Mark Ruffalo, who recently suggested that workers seize the means of production by getting back into the indie business, which is difficult to imagine and not much help for those working in television.
It’s the AMPTP that needs to heed Iger’s admonishment. At a time when the entertainment industry is going through so much disruption, two strikes is the last thing anyone needs, especially when the solution is so simple. If the studios don’t want a full-blown revolution on their hands, they’d be smart to give members of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA contracts they can live with."
#sag-aftra strike#sag strike#fans4wga#writers guild strike#actors guild strike#union solidarity#wga strong#i stand with the wga#wga strike#writers strike
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cw. gn!reader, worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (25), pining (the tiniest bit), a lot of cussing (typical of bkg), reader has an ex-boyfriend, reader is alluded to being smaller than bkg
masterlist | part 1, part 2 (they're all bite-sized, dw), part 4 (this one not so much), part 5 (this one too), part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9
You drop your new 0.38 ballpoint pen and it goes tumbling down, down, to the pristine carpeted floor.
Right where your jaw is.
“My what?”
The man of the hour has the audacity to scoff and roll his eyes.
Is it too late to actually follow through with your fantasy of strangling him?
As if he’s daring you to go for it, he tosses you the nth annoyed look of the night. “What did I just fucking say about not making me say things twice?”
You feel yourself flush with what you think is anger and embarrassment. “Bakugou, sir—”
“And I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”
Smartass.
That’s it.
Before you know it, you’re already on your feet, stalking your way toward the man with the proverbial steam coming out of your nose and ears. His eyes widen in surprise as you get closer and closer before you stop right in front of his desk, towering over him for once.
“My date? Really?” You sound so incredulous, even to yourself, and you can’t help the seed of pride that blossoms over what you think is worry dancing across his features. He’s out of his goddamn mind, and between the two of you, you’re not about to be the only whose feathers are visibly ruffled over this dumb-as-shit idea. He has no business being so cool about it.
Never mind that your heart is hammering in exasperation.
Yes, just that.
Shaking your head, you press on. “In case you’ve forgotten, we’re coworkers.”
You gesture to the space between you, and he merely raises his eyebrow in response with his strong arms crossed in front of his chest—snobbish as ever. “You’re my boss and I’m your underling. And I’m the HR head, for crying out loud.”
You pause to debate whether or not to say the next thing before deciding fuck it. “And what makes you think I don’t have—”
“Do you?”
Your face scrunches involuntarily at being cut off, “What?”
He leans forward, not breaking eye contact as if he’s challenging you. “Do you have a boyfriend?” He cocks his head to the side, “Or a date, at the very least?”
Your voice is small when you respond with the pitiful truth.
“…No?”
At that, Bakugou grins. If you didn’t know any better, you would say the fucking behemoth of a man looked pleased. He pushes against the edge of his desk, effectively creating a much more appropriate distance between the two of you. “Well, that settles it then. I’ll be your dashing date, we show up to your shitty ex’s wedding, and I finally teach that dickhead a lesson or two.”
A million questions start racing in your head, like: Why is this his first solution to the problem? Did he even consider whether or not you wanted to go in the first place? What did he mean by finally? And just—why?
But the one you manage to stammer out is: “Dude—what the fuck are you going to do? Are you about to mangle a guy at his wedding?!”
He looks at you like you just unceremoniously bit his ass. “What? No. What do you take me for, a brainless Nomu who just goes apeshit?”
You can only grumble in response. Yes, sometimes.
He sighs for the umpteenth time as if you’re the one who has steered the already unpleasant conversation into this bizarre topic. He stands up from his seat, and you’re back to being the one looking up at him.
The same thing probably registers in his mind because a smug look takes over his features within seconds.
“And, if you must know, I’m going to do so by being the best trophy date ever.”
You fight the reflex to choke at his words. Instead, you squint your eyes and muster your most scrutinizing gaze. “Why are you doing this?”
Bakugou doesn’t respond for a while, choosing to circle his desk and plant himself to your right. Before you can even comprehend what’s going on, let alone jerk back at the proximity, he bends toward you until his mouth is a breadth away from your ear. His minty breath tickles your skin when he finally says: “I’m a hero, remember?”
With that, the “hero” in question sashays to the glass doorway like he didn’t just drop a bomb on you, leaving you slackjawed and unresponsive.
He’s almost out of view by the time you manage to collect yourself and blurt out a reply.
“Hey, where are you going? We still have work to do.”
“Relax,” he calls out from the hallway, his voice receding as he walks farther and farther away from you. “’m just gonna take a piss.”
When you’re sure he’s out of earshot, you slump back in your seat, all the strength that’s left apparently having dissipated after that ludicrous exchange.
How could he throw every caution to the wind just like that? Did he forget he was just one spot away from being number 1? His PR team is going to kill both of you for even thinking this.
As you wait for Bakugou to finish his trip to the comfort room, you can’t help but contemplate the absurd idea. Needless to say, and despite Bakugou’s apparent nonchalance, there’s planning involved.
What are people going to say? If (once) the people from your agency—no, anyone who knows the #2 Prohero, really (which is virtually everyone)—find out, you’re toast. You’re going to be the subject of every tabloid in Musutafu—no, the entirety of Japan and maybe even in some news sites overseas—and you are absolutely not ready for that scrutinization.
And all that over a one-day fake dating stint? You’ve got to be kidding yourself.
But the more you think about it, the less foreign and preposterous the idea becomes. You know you shouldn’t even be considering it, but you can’t help it.
Getting dumped by your boyfriend over the phone only for him to reconnect with his high school sweetheart (did they even ever lose touch?) and get engaged five months later was humbling enough, let alone going to his wedding alone?
The first, obvious answer when you first saw the invite in the mail was to not go. But the more you sat on it, the more you realized how pitiful it would be to be a no-show. Was not going wiser than going alone? Probably. But you’re sick of hiding— avoiding—and you promised yourself this year that you’ll be facing your fears head-on.
Chewing your lip in deep reflection, your brain drifts back to the very person who came up with the proposition.
He seemed sure and determined enough—and it wasn’t like Bakugou to not be calculating and to not have everything mapped out, as similar as he can be to a raging bull. He probably has thought about the consequences to the T, in the few minutes of processing your situation, potentially more than you have.
And damn it, the man is attractive.
If there’s anyone you’d bring to your ex’s wedding to make him regret everything he did to you, it would be Bakugou Katsuki. Although you’d never admit it to the man even if you were held at gunpoint.
“Oi.”
Speak of the devil.
You startle at the sound of his gruff voice, abruptly dragging you out of your reverie.
He’s now standing beside you, hands in his pockets and face studying yours closely as if he’s searching for something.
You stare him back down before you finally decide on what to say.
You can’t believe what you’re about to do.
Gulping, you maintain your gaze. “Are you sure about this?”
“Would I be suggesting it if I wasn’t?”
Fair point.
To your surprise, Bakugou crouches down to regard you and you find yourself directly face-to-face. Despite yourself, you gulp in nervousness at the sudden proximity, and you think he notices because the jackass has the nerve to flash you a smirk.
You furrow your brows in an attempt to regain your composure and any semblance of control over the situation. “And you’re sure you’re gonna succeed as, and I quote, my ‘trophy date?’”
He sneers, although he doesn’t seem to be offended by your challenge. It’s probably because the statement means nothing to him—at this exact moment, the guy is practically oozing with confidence.
Bakugou chuckles, and you find yourself grateful that you’re seated because the next thing he is about to say instantly floors you.
“One thing about me, princess, is that I always win.”
tagging. @kitthepurplepotato @chelbyisbord @lovra974 @katsukis1wife @brunnetteiwik @bunnysaursushii
#LAUGHING at him#he's sooooooo#mans is desperate for any proximity and time spent with you I fear#i'm scared to write the wedding scene bc I'm afraid I won't do it justice but I'm excited too#just something about weddings!!!! nevermind that it's gonna be your ex's lmao#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou imagines#mha imagines#bnha imagines#bnha scenarios#mha scenarios#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou imagine#bakugou drabble#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n
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HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY 🔥🥰
I truly love your work I was wondering if you can do more MHA men and how they would be like if fem reader was famous (model, actress , artist etc) have a great rest of your day❤️❤️❤️
BEGGIN’ ON HER KNEES TO BE POPULAR ! — BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA
⊹₊˚. you’re his celebrity crush. (still, even after you started officially dating)
⟡ feat. aged up! midoriya izuku, todoroki shōto, kirishima eijirou, kaminari denki, takami keigo.
⟡ warnings: 18+ content (mdni), f! reader, some fluff, all characters & reader are 25+, quirkless/modern au, different au’s for each character, brainrot post.
⟡ xoxo, juno: omg nonnie this req is absolutely brilliant. thank you for the birthday wishes!! 💓
being a dancer/performer means your limbs are always a little achy or tight, and that’s where izuku comes in to help you stretch out. in other words, he fucks you in every position possible until you’re melting beneath him. he’ll attend all your performances and cheer, the loudest in the audience.. he’s almost gotten kicked out a few times. izuku’s always observing you, especially when you dance, and so he sweeps you into his arms after dinner, then slow dances with you.
shōto poses nude for you and sits pretty as you paint him onto your canvas, meticulously capturing the slopes and curves of his body. you’re the artist, and he’s your muse — even after years of painting him clothed or nude, he still gets hard from just your eyes on him. after a painstakingly long time spent correcting and coloring, you finally stand and give his drooling cock the attention it deserves.
denki’s a renowned singer, and you’re his groupie. despite the rumors of all the women he’s been with, you’ve come to learn that they were untrue. the second he saw you in the audience cheering, he decided to invite you backstage. then he started giving you free concert tickets to every show; it only progressed from there. so many of his fans are jealous, but he doesn’t care. if he could, he’d fuck your brains out right in front of them. denki helped make you famous by recording your voice and your moans in the studio, then he added them into his songs.
eijirou’s friends are tired of hearing about you all the time— all he does is rave about his beautiful model girlfriend and show pictures of her. he loves to participate in your social media posts and monitor the comment sections, etc. sometimes eijirou leaves one too many marks along your body (your boss hates him), or fucks you until you can barely walk just because. occasionally your instagram posts and sfw rating amps up when eijirou takes your phone and posts something a little suggestive about you two.
your most popular movie received worldwide attention, and even more when the truth about you and your costar, keigo, got out. you couldn’t escape the relationship questions all over social media or in interviews once everyone learned you’d hated each other behind the scenes, yet had unmistakable chemistry on screen. unbeknownst to the audience, you’d only maintained the chemistry with him because of some quick fucks before and after shooting. of course, it’s not like the sex stopped after filming and production— you’re still secretly seeing each other, practically dating now. your fans often ignore or wonder about the blank instagram account that likes to call you theirs in comments below your posts in response to others.
#kurooh#mha smut#bnha smut#bnha x reader#mha x reader#denki smut#denki x reader#hawks smut#hawks x reader#kirishima smut#kirishima x reader#todoroki smut#todoroki x reader#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#deku smut#deku x reader#midoriya x reader#midoriya smut
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The way olderbf!simon and reader met is so cute even if it’s cliche, because I don’t see that man interacting with anyone unless he’s forced to lmao. If you’re up to it, could you maybe do a drabble on how the beginning/talking stage of their relationship goes? This man probs has to rehearse what he’s going to say 25 times (literally me) and still fumbles over his words but reader is still just 😍 yes this is the man I’m going to marry
they definitely needed a meet cute to me cause honestly? where are their paths ever going to cross without manual intervention? 🫶🏼
after you get that “it’s simon” text from older bf!simon it’s you that actually has to make the first move.
that’s not to say he doesn’t text you or anything, god when doesn’t he text you?
at all odd hours and just about anything-
“at the supermarket”
“what you watching? i’m watching top gear”
“what’s your favourite colour?”
“i’m at the gym”
you were a little confused at first by how abrupt and to-the-point his messages could be.
and then you remembered that this was the same guy who prefers a grunt to the common conversation, he probably thought he was doing great.
so when you were getting in your own head about why he hadn’t asked you out yet, you also remembered that this was the same guy who thought he could fuck up a cappuccino.
he was probably- scared?
whatever it was, you realised if you wanted to see him as bad as you did, you were going to have to pony up and ask yourself.
“did you want to maybe get dinner sometime?”
he called you.
no sooner had the ‘seen’ shown up, he was calling you.
“uh, hello? simon?”
“are y’forreal?”
excuse me?
if anyone else had asked you that question you probably would’ve scoffed and hung up.
he was lucky he was so hunky.
and subtly insecure.
“yes, i’d like to get dinner with you”
he paused, a quiet moment passing between the two of you with only a little shuffling in the background of his line.
and a little shouting in the distance.
was he on base?
“yes please”
you’d been a little distracted trying to pick any little bits of information you could (more than just his favourite colour, it’s green by the way) that you didn’t get his response.
instead, you hummed a little ‘huh?’
“i’d like t’get dinner with’ya, yes please”
“oh- great, i can text you some details?”
“yeah, i’d like that”
you weren’t really sure how to end the call or why he’d even called in the first place- but he wrapped it up with a few mumbles.
“jus’ wanted to hear y’say it, wanted t’make sure”
he shows up at dinner without a mask on and you’re sure you’re staring up at him like he’s made of moonlight but you can’t find it within yourself to care.
fuck he’s handsome.
and broad, the buttoned shirt he’s wearing just stretches over his arms where he’s rolled the sleeves to his elbows.
borderline pornographic.
you try to shut your own mind up, realising all the man’s done is open the restaurant door for you and you’re literally have salacious thoughts about him.
have some decorum!
he pulls out your seat for you but insists on sitting with his back to a wall and a line of sight to the door. you don’t mind, it means the light behind him virtually makes him glow.
fuck he’s handsome.
his voice is so deep you have to lean in on the table to hear him and all it means is you can smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off of him.
when he locks eyes with the waiter he does a subtle little flick of his fingers and the man’s heading right for him- he really exudes an air of dominance.
if you don’t marry this man you might die.
he asks you a lot of questions and seems genuinely surprised when you ask ‘and you?’ after every one.
surprised that somebody would care.
he answers with an endearing honesty and you feel all the better for knowing he prefers tea to coffee and starts his day with a cold shower.
his hand fidgets on the table part way through dessert and you have to ask what’s wrong.
“y’got a little somethin’ there”
he gestures to the corner of his mouth. it isn’t lost on you that his fingers immediately go back to flexing around the table cloth.
your hand doesn’t even move to wipe your mouth, your eyes soften just a little as you speak instead.
“you can get it if you want?”
his heart all but stops.
big hand rising to your face, fingers cupping your jaw as his thumb wipes the smudge of cream from the corner of your mouth.
he brings his thumb to your mouth when your tongue peeks out to lick the tip of it.
simon’s knee hits the underside of the table.
and you giggle.
fuck he’s handsome.
reluctantly, he lowers his hand but leaves it on your side of the table so you can hold it. his skin feels rough but he thinks it’s never been softer than when you’re holding it.
you both opt to walk home (hand still in hand) and you’ve never felt safer. you spend the entire walk talking about nothing and everything and you could scream when you end up at your front door.
it does allow you both to linger, neither one of you wanting to call it a night quite yet.
simon seems good at lingering, at yearning, at putting off what he doesn’t and does want.
so, like you were the one to make the first move-
you’re the one to make the second.
(his tongue feels great on yours)
you go to bed alone that night and it makes the most sense but it also fucking sucks because you know-
you know what you want.
and what you want is currently walking home beneath streetlights with the biggest smile he’s had this side of enlistment.
you accept the fact you’ll need to take things slow, that he obviously needs time and a lot of reassurance and you’d hate to push him too far with your own desire and-
and your phone buzzes.
“coffee tomorrow morning?”
“yes please”
the talking stage really doesn’t last long.
not when you’re kicking your feet in bed and hugging your phone to your chest.
not when johnny texts simon asking how the date went and he’s responding ‘not bad, might be in love’
talking stage doesn’t last long but everything else does.
it’s simply a doorway into a long and happy life.
#god he’s so lovely#HE IS SO LOVELY I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOUR#older bf!simon#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader
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