#even after finding all of his children 'dead' (david's not dead and no you cannot change my mind)

[stromuprisahat]

Siege and Storm- Chapter 17

After some deliberation I've decided to put almost everything from the first part of this chapter under a single post, because all of it is thematically intertwined. It paints a picture of the state in which Ravka finds itself, its treatment of Grisha, all the reasons Aleksander attempted the Coup, and how he's about to get repaid.

Wow, I wonder why would anyone mind being perceived as no more than (annoyingly) living, breathing furniture...

... at best.

Why is Ravka so behind in military development?

There wasn't an involved Tsarevich to sweet-talk the Royal Couple into letting the Fabricators work on ~that~, because let's be honest- it certainly wasn't Alina, who persuaded them.

And the best mind they have doesn't want to create tools of destruction (and apparently the big, bad Darkling didn't MAKE him, if David's so shocked by use of Alina's powers to spread the Fold).

*mumbles*

As if he'd never done that before... as if the Darkling were a stranger to battle...

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 10 & Rule of Wolves- Chapter 33

Yeah, he sounds exactly like the kind of general, who stays in the rear...

Look, I know Sikurzoi are supposed to be uninhabitable or whatever, but let's be honest- which mountains (in mild climate) are completely uninhabited? Why wouldn't Aleksander- a lives-long student of survival- use otherwise hostile place to hide?

I know ~I~ would.

Do you mean "Are there any living Grisha left, stationed there?".

Geeez...

Zoya truly doesn't acknowledge the First Army massacres, does she? And the word ~would~ have reached them at this point, even if we ignore the dead from Grand Palace. Fedyor's group's in Little Palace!

Remember, children: It doesn't count as war, if they only regularly attack your villages, draw back, and their government claims it knows nothing!

He’s never faced the might of the First and Second Armies working in tandem... I wonder why... Could it be because your precious First Army hates his people so much they went to slaughter them the moment the Darkling's out of the picture?

I know this is Naïve Nikolai, but the way he puts it... as if otkazat'sya working alongside Grisha weren't exactly, what's Aleksander trying to achieve for centuries. As if he didn't manage it on smaller scale with his oprichniki. As if he should be surprised by mere possibility of it!

The weapons will be only a cherry on the top, the reason he keeps using nichevo'ya even though it costs him dearly. It's the kind of weapons he fears, because he knows, what it can do to his people (aside from rendering them strategically useless). He's seen massacres, he caused massacres, he cannot prevent them. And let's not forget he might be in the front line, but it will be those remaining 80 % of Grisha right behind him. And Nikolai's fancy new machine guns won't miss them more than his Army's weapons did.

This is horrifying.

They intend to slaughter the man for the crime of standing up to their regime and finding a way to substitute his people with canon fodder of magical variety, completely disregarding whys, or bothering to check if they're not living in a glasshouse first.

Why is no one asking about the pogroms? Why is no one questioning Grisha safety FROM FIRST ARMY?! Why do they act as if another massacre of Grisha should solve all their painfully obvious issues?!

Why am I supposed to wish THEM success?!

In a way...

How is your victory gonna ensure Grisha a place in Ravkan society, Alina?!

You murder the Darkling together, good... then what? Ya'll get a nice house in the country and your neighbours won't burn it to the ground? Stone you to death next time something bad happens? Never again- Grisha being dragged out of their beds in middle of the night?!

THAT'S what Aleksander feared- once Grisha are no more necessary for the wars, there's no place for them in THIS Ravkan society! Unlike otkazat'sya, those weapons don't make them vulnerable only physically!

This makes my head hurt.

Are they truly this blind?!

There's not a single voice raised against cooperation with the very same people that have been murdering theirs mere weeks ago, but the Darkling is some sort of ultimate evil on word of one (1) girl and the remains of her semi-official ménage-a-trois?!

[sysmedsaresexist]

SAS tracking the tulpa

So here’s some interesting things I just learned.

This is a very basic overview, no, it’s not going to cover all the nuance, it’s just something interesting that puts a twist on the whole tulpa thing. Please see my statement at the end.

The work of Helena Blavatsky (HB), a Russian mystic, influenced the work of Alexandra David-Néel (ADN), the person who basically brought tulpamancy to the public eye in a real way

HB claimed to have travelled to Tibet, which was closed to foreigners, and the movement of women was restricted during this period (ie. she probably didn’t actually go and her books are fiction-- OH, and she wanted to lead an expedition into Peru to find the tunnels to hollow earth). As well, ADN is actually credited as being the first woman to visit Tibet, not HB before her. [x]

BUT, here’s a fun twist.

It’s possible that ADN never went to Tibet, either (that’s a link, click it)

So what does that mean for this “cultural exchange” if it was never actually exchanged?

But let’s assume she did go, and she did sneak into Tibet posing as a beggar, and continue on with the 💲 💲 💲 money 💲 💲 💲

The work of HB first brought mysticism and eastern religions to the West, and had already resulted in a financial boom around the topic of eastern religion and mysticism. Thus, when ADN started publishing her (largely fictionalized and dramatized) books around the same time, she basically made all of the money. That link is actually an extremely interesting read. Especially the part where she’s quoted as saying:

Anticlericalism is out of fashion: it is one result of the war. When men are scared they turn to the gods, to the supernatural, like children that hang to their mother’s skirts. A breeze of spirituality blows over the world alongside with the blast of the cannonballs that rip through the air. Vulgar religiosity will turn into longing for philosophy in the larger-scale minds. I have some idea that my books on Vedanta and Tibetan mysticism are likely to meet the needs of many readers after the storm. 

So what does it mean for the “cultural exchange” if most of her work is largely considered fiction, rather than travel or auto-biographical?

Let’s talk about tulpas, though.

Anyone who has read “Tracking the Tulpa” will recognize some of the following names, but there was one point in that article that caught me off guard. The statement that ADN was the first to use tulpa.

ADN probably actually pulled inspiration from the Tibetan Book of the Dead (called tulpai-ku within, she wrote it more as she would have pronounced it) mostly translated by Dawa Samdup (DS) in 1927, who had worked with and been very close with ADN. Her use of tulpa was in 1929. [x] (I died reading that paper)

DS died in 1922, though, and Walter Evan-Wents, who had a terrible grasp on the language, finished off the book with his own interpretations and translations.

Point is, she had likely been aware of the concept prior to her book and the supposed events contained within it.

Which brings us back to her fiction writing and making those big dollars to entertain those damn, post war, depressed white people.

Again, this is by no means meant to be a history lesson, you all can go and do your own research. I am largely unfamiliar with Buddhism and Tibet, but I was reading about HB and came across her connection to ADN. While I cannot and will not discuss any topics of Buddhism, Tibet and even tulpas, I can talk about a bunch of old white ladies making money off mysticism, because I (by all technicalities) am part of that group, and bitches be wild.

[hippy-pants]

TIL: Every time you stifle a sneeze, the force of the sneeze cannot simply disappear from existence. It must manifest elsewhere, often causing a small creature to explode or a chef's hat to fly off into the air. La toque blanche. The chef's hat. Why is it shaped like a mushroom cloud? Because they both sure can cook. And why is a mushroom cloud shaped like a mushroom? Not many people know this, but out in the forest, right where every mushroom grows, there used to be a tiny Japanese city, so tiny that even David the Gnome could commit accidental genocide just by taking a poop without looking. Ironically, Gnome Poop is highly sought after in Japan, because of its mystical properties and because it tastes good on sushi for people who can't handle wasabi. Here in America, Gnome Poop's mystique is somewhat overshadowed by that of Unicorn Seed!, the hip new soda pop that all the kids are guzzling on the street corners. Its popularity has been hugely fostered by product placement in popular films. For instance, in the film "Muscular Hooker 2," Will Smith's character takes a dramatically-framed swig of Unicorn Seed! and then suddenly grows a CGI erection which extends into infinity, and then Will Smith's mind explodes and the movie ends. For that scene alone, Roger Ebert gives the film 3 and a half stars. Not many people know this, but movie critics have a finit amount of stars they can award in their lifetime. They are often kept in a vault, heavily secured to prevent a senile Scrooge McDuck from wandering in, mistaking the stars for gold coins, and swimming in them. This is for Scrooge's own protection, as the stars have sharp edges and would laycerate his body into a bloody, feathered pulp. If this were to happen, his will states that the entire McDuck fortune will go to his grandnephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie; and that his nephew Donald will get zilch because nobody understands what the Christ he is saying anyway, so who cares. As for Scrooge McDuck's body, it will be jerked and eaten, as per Scottish tradition. Indeed, cannibalism of the dead is a cherished custom in Scotland. When a Scottish boy's coming of age is celebrated (a ceremony known as the Scot Mitzvah) he is forced to consume his own great-grandfather, bones and all, in just 24 hours, or else the local Shaman will hit him on the head with a magical stick that stops him from ever becoming an adult. Now, you might think that eternal childhood wouldn't be such a bad thing - Never-Never-Land and all that jazz - but no! Once your parents are dead, there's nothing to stop you from eating nothing but sweets, as children all want to do, and when your baby teeth have rotted away, there will be no adult teeth to take their place. Toothless, stupid, and unkissed by the spirits of puberty, you will be banished from Scotland to the only place in this world where an awkward manchild such as yourself can ever hope to be accepted: Ireland. You will live as a leprechaun. You will don a false beard and a green bowler and stand on the streets jabbering about a nonexistent pot of gold. When darkness falls, you will sleep in an alley on a bed of night soil, clutching a potato, which will be your surrogate mother. If you are found by leprechaun poachers, your only hope for escape is to mesmerize them with a sprightly leprechaun jig, and then stab their eyes out with your leprechaun stiletto. Then you must run away to find another Irish hamlet, and the cycle will repeat forever until one of three things happens. One: the poachers get too smart for you. Two: you starve to death. Three: the stifled sneeze of a distant someone causes you to explode and die.

[corainne]

WIP Wednesday

(From the vault)

“Happiness is a dangerous thing,” his sister says one night, apropos of nothing, after a few too many glasses of wine.

“Why do you say so?” he asks, because she has always been the more philosophical one, and he isn’t quite sure he could make an argument even if he wanted to. They’re in her small kitchen in Cambridge, celebrating a successful assignment and her recent marriage, a pie baking in the oven neither of them will be able to stomach once it’s finished.

“Because people are always running after it. The number of women I’ve seen who are willing to throw everything they have away for the possibility of love and happiness, only for it to end horribly. If we want it enough we can find happiness in anything, but no one ever stops to look for happiness in their current life. It’s always connected to something people tell themselves they need. I’ll get married, and then I’ll be happy. I’ll have two children, then I’ll be happy. I’ll move to London, and then I’ll finally be happy. And it never stops. Look at you, Thomas, you’re happy as it is”

“I’m not sure I’m the best example for this”

“If you settled down into some office job in London, married a beautiful woman and had children with her, just like everyone expects you to, would you be happy? Would you even still be you?”

“No, of course not” he answers, and the conversation drifts off into safer territories. 

*

But he keeps thinking about it as the world is headed for catastrophe, while David is still working with the Weimar Institute, moving away from Thomas' political beliefs more every day, even though his more liberal friends in Germany are fleeing the country. While his mother’s health worsens for one final time, and his siblings get married and have children and lose it all to fate and chance. 

Thomas knows that the overlap of people he would like to marry and those he legally can is nonexistent, and that what he has is more than he could have ever hoped for. But is what he has not enough? He and David have been together for more than a decade, doomed though it is; and while his work at the Foreign Office might not make him as happy as others are in their profession it gives him a sense of purpose. What he has, even though it wouldn’t seem much to anyone else, keeps him content, and he is neither willing nor ready to give up any of it. 

David cannot understand his difficulties when he mentions them in the mid-thirties, perched on one of the lab benches while David prepares for a demonstration of some supposedly ground-breaking experiment;  Thomas hasn’t asked what ground it breaks, and David doesn’t seem inclined to explain, long fingers arranging beakers and bunsen burners in a neat row. But David has always known what he wants, and is of the firm opinion that something as minor as feelings have no sway in it. What he wants now, he tells Thomas with a twinkle in his eyes, is a moment of bloody silence before he gets distracted and makes himself a fool in front of the Folly’s Master and the senior members. 

“Would you marry me, if we could?” he asks later that night, tucked around David in his bed.

“I suppose I would, yes. But I don’t see what good this sort of speculation can do.” Eighty years later Thomas visits David’s grave on the day same-sex marriage is legalised. Some things simply do not get easier with time, he thinks, as he leaves green carnations to wither and rock. 

*

In 1932 his next elder brother asks him to be godfather to his first child, and, two weeks later, finds himself on his doorstep with a suitcase, his sister-in-law dead in childbirth.

He and his younger sister move in to help with the child, and while she will never leave again he stays for three months - the longest stretch of time Thomas spends in England between Casterbrook and the war - and while his brother grieves he falls in love with life again. 

None of them know anything about childcare, doing the best they can not to kill the tiny being that has been entrusted to them, and he learns how to rock an infant to sleep while its father gets increasingly drunk in the room next door, pain eating away at him in a way Thomas has not yet experienced; learns how to cook a proper meal while his sister dances to Bye Bye Blackbird with their niece in her arms; learns that he can in fact be content with something other than his work, that maybe a life in England might actually work.

It’s nearly enough to make him hand in his resignation at the Foreign Office, nearly. Three years later his niece is dead.

*

No one is happy during the war, though some certainly try. Most of his nieces and nephews are tumbling into adulthood, more hopeful than their parent’s generation can be, they marry and talk about the future as if it’s something they have for certain. His nephews, as per their mothers request, are all graduates of Casterbrook, and he watches them leave for the continent never to return, just like his brothers do. 

His younger sister is buried next to their mother, after they find her in the rubbles left behind by German bombs, and it’s the last time Thomas sees his father, or all of his living siblings gathered together. 

Ettersberg ends in death and fire, and when he returns to England his eldest niece tells him that her mother and David are both dead and those who survived are nothing more than shells of who they’d once been. Thomas feels the same. 

While the victory celebrations go past his hospital room Thomas sits in silence, carving shapes out of wood. 

*

When he returns to the Folly it’s nearly deserted but for a few stragglers like himself, who aren’t quite sure what to do with themselves. One by one they break their staves and return to wherever they’d been before the war, and when the Master of the Folly shoots himself in the arboteteum there is no one but Thomas left to take up the mantle. 

They let all the servants go, and only Molly remains in the Folly within, the building too large for two people to fill it with anything but silence. 

He locks his heart away, and stone by stone builds a wall around it until he is satisfied with the result. Perhaps David had been right, and feelings should be considered an afterthought, an inconvenience one can’t quite get rid off. 

The later half of the 20th century passes him by in a blur of grief and suffering. He keeps the other practitioners at arms length if he can’t avoid them completely, but attends, without a fail, every funeral service, until he can recite the most popular passages from memory and might - as Peter would put it - arrange a bloody Acapella version of the music. He never stays for long, and no one ever approaches him. The Nightingale had always been his own breed of wizard, best not mingled with.

He really has become the Nightingale now, he supposes, singing his lament over lost friends and family, over the night British wizardry was slaughtered in a forest in Germany and never recovered, unable to lead it out of the underworld again. If he had the musical talents of Orpheus it might even be somewhat funny.

Thomas grows old, purchases his first pair of glasses and begins to turn grey. The morning he finds that he truly can no longer deny the grey in his hair, he does his best not to think about all the people who never had a chance to grow old alongside him. It isn’t particularly successful. 

During the sixties he stops looking too closely at the mirror, so it’s perhaps not much of a shock that he only notices his changed appearance when someone at the hospital claims that the birthdate in his records cannot possibly be correct. 

Once he notices he can’t quite believe he missed it for so long; but he had always been good at ignoring the things he would rather not think about.

[spiritsoulandbody]

#DailyDevotion If You Are Innocent, Appeal To The LORD's Righteousness

#DailyDevotion If You Are Innocent, Appeal To The LORD's Righteousness Psalm 35 24O LORD, since You are righteous, give me justice; O my God, keep them from gloating over me. 25Don't let them think, “Aha! That's what we want,” or say, “We have ruined him!” 26May those who gloat over my trouble be altogether ashamed and disgraced; may those who boast against me be covered with shame and disgrace. David appeals to the LORD's righteousness in this situation to give him justice. The LORD's righteousness is holy, right and good. It cannot be manipulated. Indeed, the LORD's righteousness would take care of the problem of the unrighteous in His own time and way. We should still appeal to it when asking the LORD for help so He may be glorified when He acts. Part of the justice David wants is for his enemies to not gloat over him and his situation. On the one hand they may already be gloating and he wants that to cease. On the other hand, he may not have experienced the evil they are wanting to perpetrate on him so he wants the LORD to prevent that evil from even occurring so they have no reason to gloat. David's enemies are real. Thankfully, I haven't had any real enemies in a while, at least not that I know of. But as a pastor, I have experienced this, particularly in my early ministry of ungodly opposition and enemies in the Church who wanted me to fail. Your enemies may be in the work environment or maybe your neighborhood. Maybe they exist in your school or some other organization to which you belong. These words and this psalm help us to pray what we are experiencing and ask the LORD for help in a manner which is pleasing to Him, as He gave us these words to pray. Jesus prayed this psalm. He had His enemies from the people who should have believed in Him and rejoiced at His coming. They were fearful they would lose what they had if they believed in Him. Because of their fear, they sought to find a way to put Jesus to death. Ultimately, they did find a way to put Jesus to death. Jesus experienced their gloating over Him while He hung on the cross suffering for them, so that they could be saved. Since many did not repent of their sin after His resurrection but doubled down in persecuting those who followed Jesus with imprisonment and death, they and their children who followed them, experienced the shame and disgrace at the hands of the Romans some forty years later. The LORD is patient in wanting people to repent and be saved. But if they will not, what they have done will eventually come down upon them. 27But those who are pleased when I receive justice should shout and be glad and keep on saying, “Great is the LORD, Who delights to see His servant happy.” 28Then my tongue will tell how righteous You are and praise You all day long. We indeed were pleased to see Jesus risen from the dead. In His resurrection, He received justice. He calls us to say with Him, “Great is the LORD, Who delights to see His servant happy.” When the LORD delivers us, we too, will have our tongues tell how righteous the LORD is and praise Him all day long. We praise Him now as we see the justice given to Jesus. We will praise Him all the more as we see justice given us when our enemies are no more. Heavenly Father, by Your righteousness You raised our innocent Jesus Christ from the dead, vindicating Him. In that same righteousness, turn back our enemies who seek us harm for no cause, that we may praise you now and for all eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Read the full article

[gukkiebunny]

I’m still thinking about this tweet I quoted earlier, and I felt like the rant I’m holding in belongs on here rather than twitter.

So to start things off, there’s almost no flaws with The Lost Boys in my eyes. Just about everything about that movie is perfect from (most of) the casting, to the character development, the soundtrack, the overall tone, I love literally everything about The Lost Boys except for one thing: The main protagonist.

Michael Emerson is probably the worst character you could possibly root for in the movie (or any movie, honestly), and Max, the Big Bad(tm) is literally right there. Michael has absolutely zero redeeming qualities and if it weren’t for everything else I love about the movie, I would hate it purely because of him alone. I can’t even say “at least he’s attractive” because, here’s the thing, even though Michael has Several physical attributes I find attractive in men (full lips, nice jaw, soft-looking wavy/curly hair, pretty eyes, thick eyebrows, pierced ears), I couldn’t find him attractive if I tried because he’s just that much of an irredeemable shit-stain.

He gets on his motorcycle right at the beginning purely so he doesn’t have to ride with Lucy and Sam to Grandpa’s house.

He sees Star (and Laddie, but he’s not really important) in the crowd at the concert, and just fucking stares at Star the entire time, then when she leaves he fucking follows her around until he sees her get on David’s bike and ride away with David and the others. He’s literally showing stalker behavior right off the bat.

When Michael vamps out, Sam is his first target. If Nanook hadn’t been there, Mike would have absolutely killed his own little brother.

I know this is most likely because Sam was the only other person in the house and Michael was just really thirsty, but it still rubs me the wrong way.

He scoffs at/mocks Star when she tries to warn him about the wine actually being blood, and drinks it anyway (like the dumbass he is). When she goes to his house after David takes him “hunting”, he blames her for him being turned even though she tried to tell him and he just didn’t listen, then when she asks him to help her and Laddie, he laughs in her face and then expects her to stay there.

When he first gets home after sleeping with Star, and Lucy tries to talk with him, he interrupts her several times and is just plain rude to her for literally no reason. She’s clearly a good mother to both Mike and Sam, he has no reason to act like that when she’s just worried about him.

He’s rude to Max when first meeting him. I know Max ends up being the Big Bad (kind of...), but at this point in the movie Max is just Lucy’s sweet, innocent boyfriend who was having dinner at their house, yet as soon as Michael sees him, he says in literally the most mocking tone ever, “And you must be Max”, as if trying to degrade him just for being there. He has literally no manners whatsoever.

There are quite a few points in the movie where he acts rashly. Two of which I already pointed out.

He punches David and tries to start a fight with him after almost driving his motorcycle off a cliff and into the water below (with Star screaming for him to stop).

He drinks the blood-wine purely to try and seem cool to the vamp squad (right after Star told him not to do that).

He goes vamp and tries to attack Sam, only failing because Nanook attacked him and bit his hand.

At the very end, when Max reveals himself as a vampire, Michael reveals himself and lunges to attack Max while Star (again) screams at him to stop (if I’m remembering correctly, she says “Michael, no!”). Obviously the ancient demonic head vampire is worlds stronger than some fledgling half-vampire, so Max easily incapacitates Michael and the latter is unconscious until he hears Grandpa’s car horn.

In literally the same scene, he acts rashly again and shoves max forward. This is the only time him acting on impulse has resulted in anything positive for him, because he helps stake Max, which kills him and turns Star, Laddie, and himself back human.

Aside from all of that, the way he talks is so goddamn annoying that even if he wasn’t an asshole I still wouldn’t like him purely because of how he talks/yells. I cringe every time I see the climactic fight scene because his voice is just so wimpy and it doesn’t fit at all to the scary half-vampire he’s supposed to be. Laddie going vamp was scarier than Michael was at any point in the movie. The only time he doesn’t sound like a fucking dweeb was when he said “Never!” in that demonic voice, and that was one of three times I felt anything about Michael other than Pure Hatred. The other two times? 1. When he was begging for help outside of Sam’s window (I actually pity him there) 2. When he goes into the cave to get Star and Laddie before promptly passing the fuck out in the passenger’s seat of Grandpa’s car.

TL;DR Michael Emerson is an irredeemable fuckass who should not have been the victor of the story by any means, and I hate his character with such a burning passion that I’d be 100% okay with a remake of The Lost Boys purely for the chance that they turn the character into less of an asshole.

[peanutbuttaz]

every⏱️time you stifle a🤧sneeze🤧, the force➡️of the sneeze👃👃cannot simply ✨disappear✨from existence. it must manifest🤔elsewhere, often causing a small🤏creature to explode💥💥💥💥, or a👨‍🍳chefs hat👨‍🍳to fly off into the air💨. la👏toque👏blanche.👏the chefs hat👨‍🍳👨‍🍳👨‍🍳. Why is it shaped like a mushroom🍄cloud☁️? because they↔️both↔️sure can cook🎆🎆💯💯. and why is a 🍄mushroom☁️cloud shaped 📐like a mushroom🍄🍄🍄? not many people know this🤪, but out in the forest🌳🌲, right where every mushroom 🍄grows, there used to be a tiny🤏japanese city🏙️🏙️😳😳, so tiny🤏🤏🤏that even david the gnome🎅 could commit🤪accidental genocide💀💀just by taking a poop💩💩💩without looking👁️. ironically, gnome poop is highly sought after in🇯🇵japan🇯🇵, because of it's 🌟🌟mystical properties🔮and because it tastes good on sushi🍣🍙, for people who can't handle😣😣wasabi🟩. here in america, gnome poop's mystique is somewhat overshadowed by that of🦄🦄unicorn🦄seed😳😳😳😳, the hip new soda🥤 pop that all the 👦👧kids are guzzling on the street corners🛣️. it's popularity has been hugely fostered by product placement in popular films🎟️🍿. for instance, in the🎥film 'muscular hooker 2', will smith's character🧍🏾‍♂️ takes a dramatically framed swig of unicorn🦄 seed🥤and then suddenly grows a cgi erection😳😳😳😳which extends into infinity🌌, and then🤯will smith's mind explodes🤯and the movie ends🔚. for that scene alone, roger ebert gives the film 3⭐⭐⭐and a half✨stars. not many people know this🙅‍♂️, but movie critics have a finite amount of stars⭐⭐they can award in their lifetime. they are often kept in a vault🔒🔒🔒, heavily secured to prevent a senile scrooge mcduck🦆from wandering in, mistaking the stars for gold coins💰💰, and swimming🏊in them. this is for scrooge's own protection, as the stars have sharp⭐‼️ edges and would lacerate his body into a ☹️bloody☹️feathered☹️pulp☹️. if this were to happen, his will states that the entire💵💵💵💵 mcduck fortune will go to his grandnephews 🦆huey, 🦆dewey, and 🦆louie, and that his nephew 🦆donald will get zilch🅾️, because nobody understands what the christ he is ⁉️saying anyway so who cares🤪. as for scrooge mcduck's body🦆🦆, it will be jerked and eaten, as per scottish🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 tradition. indeed, 😳cannibalism of the dead💀💀 is a cherished custom in scotland♥️. when a scottish boy's coming of age is celebrated, a ceremony known as the scot mitzvah🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿, he is forced to consume🥣🥣🥣his own great grandfather, 🦴bones and all🦴, in just 24 hours⏱️⏱️⏱️, or else the local shaman will hit him on the head with a 🏒magical stick that stops him from ever becoming an adult👦. now you might think that✨eternal childhood✨wouldn't be such a bad thing,🌌never neverland and all that jazz. but no. once your parents are dead💀💀, there's nothing to stop you from eating nothing but🧁🍨🍩sweets🍫🍪🎂, as children👧👦👧👦are want to do. and when your baby teeth🦷have rotted away‼️, there will be no adult teeth to take their place. 🦷🦷toothless, stupid, and unkissed by the spirits of puberty☹️, you will be banished from🚫🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿scotland to the only place in this world where an awkward manchild such as yourself can ever hope to be accepted: ireland🇮🇪☺️. you will live as a leprechaun🟩. you will don a false beard🎅🎅and a green bowler👒👒👒and stand on the streets jabbering about a nonexistent pot of gold🍲🌈🌈. when darkness falls, you will sleep in an alley on a bed of night soil, clutching a potato🥔🥔🥔🥔, which will be your surrogate mother. if you are found by leprechaun poachers👿👿👿, your only hope for escape is to😵mesmerize them with a sprightly leprechaun jig🕺🕺, and then stab their👁️👁️eyes out with your leprechaun stiletto👠. then you must run away to find another🇮🇪irish hamlet, and the cycle🌀🌀will continue until one of three things happens. 1, the poachers get too smart for you🧠🧠, 2, you starve to death☠️, 3, the stifled sneeze🤧🤭of a distant someone causes you to explode💥💥💥💥, and die💀.

[epona610]

A Comparison of OUAT Redemption Stories

So I was DMing with someone about a different show entirely, and I brought up OUAT because I loved/hated this show so much and it’s largely based on redemption stories. I was going to briefly explain why I find Hook’s arc so compelling (though not without its flaws, of course) and Regina’s so lacking, but it turns out that I still cannot write briefly about this subject. So I’m posting this here because this is what my blog was originally about, and I find I still feel very much the same way even after a few years have passed. I want to preface this by saying I haven’t rewatched the show since it went off the air, and I certainly could’ve forgotten some things. And I’m obviously biased in that I loathe the character of Regina so much, although here I’m trying to explain exactly why I can’t stand her.

Hook and Regina were both motivated by revenge for the deaths of their first loves. Rumple murdered his ex-wife and Hook’s current lover/partner/co-captain, Milah, so Hook set out to kill Rumple himself, the Dark One, who is one of (if not the) most powerful beings in their world. Hook caused a lot of harm to innocent people as collateral damage, but eventually he gave up on the idea of revenge and basically peacefully coexisted with the guy who had murdered his first love and chopped off his hand. Regina’s mother was the one to kill her first love, but did she go after her? No, she went after the ten-year-old child (Snow) whom her mother had manipulated into telling about her first love (by playing on Snow’s feelings for her dead mother, whom Regina’s mother had murdered). Regina was going after an innocent person from the beginning because she was afraid of her mother. 

Then there’s the scale of the harm done. Regina: literally slaughtered at least two whole villages, sent countless children to be literally eaten by a cannibal, cursed an entire population by permanently altering their minds, has murdered so many people and taken so many hearts she lost track of whose was whose, illegally adopted a child whom she knowingly raised in a town where no one else grew or aged and then gaslit him when he caught on, murdered her father in order to cast the curse. Hook: was a pirate so he has killed people (we learn that his rings come from murder victims, whose names and circumstances he remembers) killed his own father (who had sold him into child slavery) thereby orphaning his little brother, killed David’s father, backhanded Belle across the face once, shot her so she’d cross the town line and lose her memories, sort of turned Baelfire over to Peter Pan (but only after Bae refused to let Hook hide him so I never got why he felt guilty over that honestly). No indiscriminate mass murder that we know of. 

And of course there’s the remorse or utter lack thereof. Regina is constantly defending her actions. I’ll use her own words to illustrate. She at one point says to Snow: “To be fair, I was threatening you. Everyone else just became collateral damage.” And then later we get this infuriating exchange:

Regina: Need I remind you I dedicated years to knocking you down? But nothing could stop you. 

Snow: You took my kingdom, cast your curse, I lost my daughter for 28 years.

Regina: And then you found her. 

Clearly no remorse or recognition for the fact that she stole Emma’s entire childhood from her and her parents. And the classic, said as she was escaping a tree that attacks people’s regret: “I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population. I have tortured and murdered. I’ve done some terrible things. I should be overflowing with regret, but I’m not.” 

I feel that I should add that she ends that last statement with “because it got me my son”. And that sounds lovely, but that means that she doesn’t regret the harm she’s done since getting him (continuing to enslave and sexually abuse her victims, murdering Graham, attempting to murder the entire town so Henry would have nobody else to love) or even more notably, the harm she’s done to Henry (raising him in a psychologically unhealthy environment, cursing him in an attempt to curse his mother, gaslighting him, attempting to murder his entire family, altering his memories, etc.) Regina says time and again that she “gave up on revenge” against Snow, but as far as I can tell, she only decided she was satisfied because she’d succeeded in irreparably harming Snow. She took away her chance to raise her daughter, who ended up being raised in an abusive foster system and felt obligated to give up her own child. 

And then I compare that to Hook’s apologizing and making things right with people he’s hurt, like Ursula, his younger brother Liam, and David. And then he and Belle become close friends and eventually they have this conversation:

Belle: I’m sorry, I can’t stay here. If Rumple finds you harboring me...

Hook: His wrath will be an added bonus.

Belle: I don’t understand. Why would you risk your life for me?

Hook: Long ago, I... I tried to kill you in the queen’s castle once. I failed. But along the way, I did something I can live with no longer. I laid a hand on you. And there’s the matter of my shooting you at the town line.

Belle: Yeah, well. You’ve changed since all that.  

Hook: Maybe. I have a long road to travel before I can be someone I can be proud of. Despite the forgiveness of others, I must forgive myself, and I’m not there yet.

So yeah, that’s a summary of why I find Hook’s redemption arc to be (somewhat) believable and satisfying and Regina’s to be... basically nonexistent. The show tells us she’s a hero and a good person now, but she never apologizes or shows remorse. She makes it abundantly clear that she’s doing good only in the hopes of getting happiness for herself, which she absolutely feels entitled to even though she’s taken it from so many others (the amount of times she complained about not getting what she wants despite occasionally doing the right thing is incredible). She still even has a bunch of hearts whose owners she apparently forgot! There’s no indication that guilt weighs on her at all, or that she even feels any guilt. I can’t buy a “redemption” from someone who never shows remorse or accepts responsibility.

Note: these quotations weren’t taken from memory, nor did I go back and watch the episodes. They came from the OUAT transcripts found here.

[piratewithvigor]

My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

[berkowitzbrat]

Berkowitz and the Inverted Electra

Hello! Well, this is where i’ve been all this time. This post required a lot of sourcing and research, and therefore a lot of time, because it’s very theoretical. Anyway, here’s my magnum opus. Enjoy.

An Electra Complex is defined by the psychosexual relationship between a girl (or, in the ‘inverted’ sense, a boy) and her (his) mother, coupled with a sexual desire to possess their father. Oedipal and Electral urges originate during the Phallic (3rd) stage of psychosexual development.

As a male, Berkowitz would be expected to cleave to the Oedipal urges to kill his father/possess his mother; however, I don’t think this is the case. The Phallic stage takes place between the ages of 3-6 years old, around the time that Berkowitz was informed of his biological mother’s death, and his biological father’s abandonment of him. This, coupled with the continuous image of death surrounding women as he was growing up [1], helped to solidify this inverted Electral urge, the fascination with death&women and possession&men. In terms of possession and men, Berkowitz would have thought that only his biological father was still alive, and this developed (particularly later in his life) a great need to find his father, to reclaim some part of himself, and rid himself of the guilt he felt for driving his father away after (as he thought) killing his mother [2]. Another scenario during which he exhibited possession&men linked directly to death/control&women was when he would be taken to indoor pools and witnessed the thrall and power which men held over women, particulalry in situations in which there is sexual subtext, such as changing rooms [3]. 

So, great. He’s attracted to the same sex (more on this later) and death&women are interdependent concepts for him. What next? For Freud, it’s the Latency stage. This stage begins at age 7 and continues until puberty, which for boys is around 12/13 years old. This is the stage at which the Oedipal/Electral complexes begin to dissolve in order to decrease the tension and take on their  gender role (whatever that may be) as the child realises that sexual gratification exists without, not within, their parents. At this stage is usually when the child begins to become more comfortable with the same sex parent--but David has always been more attracted to the idea of his biological father, as it is all he has. It could be said, then, that the Electra complex was forced upon him by circumstance, the circumstance of his adoptive-father’s lie about his biological parents. Regardless, Berkowitz eventually becomes very close to his adoptive mother, Pearl, and began to vie for her attention, such as poisoning her parakeets in order to have nothing to compete with for her affection [4]. The typical progression of Berkowitz is entirely inverted in terms of Freudian psychosexual stages. This is a stage of negated sexuality, hence the attatchment, traditionally, to the parent of the same sex, and to make friends of the same sex; however, because Freud’s an asshole, he doesn’t consider that ✨homosexuality✨ is a concept and thinks that all children must go to the parent/friends of the same sex as sexuality cannot be prompted here. But we can take liberties here because we live in the real world. There’s nothing abnormal about Berkowitz, he was just following the pyschosexual stages as somebody interested in the same sex.

Woah! You say. But he killed women because of pent-up sexual frustration! The gun is his penis!

Sure. For most; but I’ve always felt that Berkowitz did things a little bit... differently.

The Genital stage, or the final stage, begins at puberty (12/13) and continues/ends into adulthood. As traumatising as Pearl’s death was for David, her death coincided perfectly for her metaphorical death in the psyche of 13-year-old David. During the Genital stage, sexuality is no longer ‘hidden’ (latent), and rather becomes a thing necessary to be fulfilled for emotional release. Attention turns once more to the gender in which one is interested, and David, growing up in the culture that he did, turned to women. At 15, he had his first sexual experience, a blowjob, and sources (unknown) state that he preferred ‘oral sex and petting over regular intercourse’[5]. It would be plausible that he perhaps came to prefer this, considering his one known experience with ‘regular intercourse’ resulted in a venereal disease, but I’ve always contended that maybe he preferred so-called ‘petting’ due to his... less favourable position with heterosexuality. But, as I said, I feel as if David did not explore, or rather felt he could not explore, his sexuality until later on in his life (and, even then, due to his Baptist beliefs, promoted homophobic views because, y’know, Christianity and being born in the 50s) and was, in fact, more interested in men than women. If this is grabbing at straws for anyone, I will mention his ‘homosexual fling’ [6] with inmate Gary Evans, who was long suspected to be bisexual/homosexual due to his collecting of gay magazines and, according to Hugo Harmatz, ‘love letters’[citation needed] from Berkowitz stashed amongst them.

An addendum about Berkowitz’s latent stage: when he was around 10 years old, his parents had sex whilst he was in the same bed [8]. What could be more confusing, traumatising, and shaping, than your parents doing... that... during one of the most sexually devoid periods of your life! I believe this shaped his view of performance hugely. He was shown, at a formative period, that it was okay to perform in a sexually motivated manner whilst other people were around--non-consenting other people, at that. I believe that this is the reason he took his killing out into the open. It was a sexual thrill, the killings. It was heavily related to the sexual negation of wanting to kill your mother in order to  possess your father. I am by no means saying that this is Berkowitz’s 100% proven, uncontestable motive, but the ideas of psychosexual analysis seem to apply to him in an accurate and very curious way. The traditional, heterosexual view of these stages do not match up to his psychology, but the homosexual interpretation does. 

So, we move forward to his early 20s. He returns from Korea, looking for his father, the only piece of his biological existence he believes to be alive. He still wishes, all these years later, to possess the father--the destruction of the woman has only intensified after multiple failed attempts at dating, a horrendous virginity-loss experience, and the frustration surrounding an attempt at heterosexuality. But, here we stand: his biological mother is alive, and his biological father is the one who is dead. How terribly, terribly confusing. And still, Berkowitz attempts a relationship with his biological mother and half-sister. This goes south, however, when he discovers that he was given up due to being born out of wedlock, and he drops contact with his biological family.

The disollusionment is unfathomable. His biological father, his raison d’etre, is dead. His adoptive father has moved to Florida with his new wife: this new wife has fulfiled Berkowitz’s Electra Complex, in his mind, at least. Kill the mother. Take the father. His biological mother is not who he wanted to have. His adoptive mother is dead. What is left? A display of fulfilment, sexual fulfilment, as public as it has always been shown to him--through the bedroom of his parents, through the public changing rooms. Murder on the streets. Getting to kill a woman as he always thought he had been decreed to from birth, from his first supposed mother, his biological mother.

(bibliography under the cut. thank you for reading)

Bibliography:

Radford University: Berkowitz, David [3, 8]

Simply Psychology: 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development

Tumblr/Berkowitzbrat: Exploring the Why [1]

Tumblr/True Crime and Cannibalism: David Berkowitz’s Timeline [5]

Westchester Magazine: David Berkowitz’s History in Westchester County [4]

Wikipedia: Phallic stage, Latency stage, Genital stage

Wordpress/Can’t Stop the Bleeding: How to Stuff a Wild Bikini [6]

Youtube: David Berkowitz: In His Own Words (1/9) [2]

And here’s my whole folder of resources for general Berkowitz reading materials and media: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VKlZJwRR4bpoPzO7AejAMtAJaVoBGuTg

[khaleesiofalicante]

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

[sirenprincess15]

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 17

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: After their night off from trying to figure everything out, Aleksander shares a secret with Alina.

Chapter 17

Aleksander was conscious, but he refused to wake up. Alina was flooding him with her light so he could sleep, and he did not want to give it up. They had agreed to a night of heaven without worry of figuring everything out, but where did that leave them today?

He was somewhat reassured by her confession last night that she needed him as he needed her. If she felt the pull between them as well, then surely they could find a path forward. That didn’t change the fact that there was so much that he needed to tell her. It didn’t make it any easier to explain any of it. He could run through all the scenarios in his head again, but that would result in the same crippling agony he ended up with night after night. Perhaps he should just send her on her own to talk with David. Could she possibly believe he didn’t want her as a slave after that? The image of her screaming her hatred at him wouldn’t leave his head until he actually thought of something worse. What if what she learned made her run with the tracker? Alina had shared that the tracker already had a plan. The truth could prompt her to follow through with it. What if Zlatan found them? Now it was her head rolling from her body that he saw again.

“Aleksander,” she said his name so sweetly as she wrapped her arms tighter around his chest. “I can feel that. Stop.” She sent her reassurance through their bond.

“Please don’t leave me.” The words were barely a whisper, but he could not hold them in. His heart reached out to hers and begged for her to stay. They could solve anything else together if she would just stay.

“Please don’t hurt me,” was her response, a fair request revealing her deepest fears.

Aleksander met her gaze and nodded. The seriousness of that commitment made his heart ache. He let her feel through the bond how much he meant it. He feared hurting her too, but he would give all of him to prevent that. “I never want to hurt you. I would take any pain on myself, any, if it meant I didn’t hurt you.”

They stayed that way a long time, just staring into each other’s eyes, emotions flowing back and forth between them. She seemed to accept his determination not to hurt her, even if bits of self doubt and fear crept back in occasionally. He tried to reassure himself of her love, but his worry about how to try to explain everything to her still kept creeping in. It was impossible to prevent the panic he felt at the idea of losing her. Her emotions could calm him, but then he would stress again on finding the right words to make her understand everything, and the ache in his heart would reignite again.

“Aleksander? Talk to me. I know it’s hard for you to trust and open up. You have been through so much. I understand that now, but you cannot go on with this pain inside you. Please try to tell me what’s causing it. The more you actually open up, the more I feel I can trust you.”

“It’s just that I don’t know how to be the man you want, the man you deserve, and I fear I will lose you anyway because I can never possibly share all of the dreadful secrets. Alina, I can’t lose you, but I’ve been thinking of way after way to deal with this, and I can’t … I can’t.” His jaw trembled with the effort of controlling his emotions. Damn it, he did not want to cry in front of her this morning. He was terrified, though, that Alina would leave him for any of the litany of good reasons she had.

“If it helps, I can feel how sincere you are about wanting to give me the honesty I request. I can tell, Aleksander. Are any of the secrets about important things?”

His lip quivering as he tried to control himself, he nodded.

“All right. So we just start with one. Tell me the biggest one. And then once we work through that, the others won’t seem all so bad.”

Which one even was the biggest one? He couldn’t decide. Maybe he should tell her about Marie. He could just blurt that out without a lengthy explanation, but the guilt of that death would destroy her. How could he? How could he possibly do that to her?

“Aleksander!” she gasped. “It’s tearing you apart. Guilt, pain, fear--you ache deeper than anything I have ever felt before. Please just tell me. Let’s work through it together. However awful it is, it cannot be worth this amount of pain.”

“If I tell you, then you will hurt, and I cannot do that to you. If I don’t tell you and you find out, then you will leave me for the lie, and I cannot find the strength to bear that pain, Alina.”

She took slow, deep breaths and sent reassurance and love through their connection. She waited several moments like that, just breathing and feeling, taking his pain and meeting it with love. “I want you to tell me. We can face the pain stronger together. I promise I will forgive you if you can manage to tell me now. You do not wish to hurt me, but I am strong, and we are together. Tell me.”

“Marie is dead.” It was barely a whisper, but the look of shock on her face made it clear that she had heard.

“Marie?! How? What happened?” She was processing the grief when she gasped with realization. “The winter fete! The attempt to assasination me … but you said ...Saints, Marie!”

He nodded as he experienced the sorrow anew with her. “She died to protect you. She was a good friend and a beautiful Grisha, strong, brave. The assassin slit her throat.”

“That’s why you’ve been having nightmares of my death? Oh, Aleksander, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Luda died for me. I know what it is to have someone you care about killed when they were just trying to protect you. She isn’t the only one. The guilt of that loss is something I never wanted you to know.”

She cuddled into his chest as the emotions of that hit her, and he hugged her tight as he gave her a moment to process her friend’s death. How many times had he dealt with those emotions over the centuries? And, yet, he could not think of a single word to say that would actually make that pain any better.

“My sweet, caring, Aleksander,” she whispered. “Some moments I’m so afraid of your dark side, but then you say something like that. You kept all the pain inside yourself so I wouldn’t feel any. That’s not what I want you to do at all, but I can feel you did it out of love. You’ve been dealing with the trauma of Marie’s death, her death disguised as me, on your own this whole time. I don’t even think you realize how severely it’s been affecting you. You lost one love to the king’s army, and now another young Grisha, who looked like me at the time, has been slaughtered by another army general. And you just wanted to keep all of that inside you? You ask too much of yourself. I’ve been feeling all your pain, but I didn’t know why or how to help. You should have told me.” Her voice was so soft. It felt less like a reprimand and more a plea for the closeness of sharing. “We could have processed this pain together. You could have helped me. Aleksander, you are not alone. Together, we deal with this loss together.”

Tears came to his eyes, and this time he did not bother to blink them away. Marie deserved his tears. Every Grisha who died for the cause did. He told himself the tears had nothing to do with dealing with the abject loneliness he’d felt for over half a millennium. “Her grave is in the Little Palace cemetery. I had a nice headstone made for her. We could go visit it together if you’d like.”

She nodded. “Could we invite Nadia? Can I tell Nadia? Does she know? She should know too.”

Aleksander squeezed her hand. “I will let you decide what it’s best for your friend to know.”

“Does it feel better to have that secret out of your chest now? No wonder it was tearing you up to keep that inside.”

“I …” He wasn’t quite sure. He still did not like that his words had caused Alina pain, but it was nice to not have to hide that from her anymore or continue to work through how to tell her. “At least I can better explain the nightmares now. You know why I have been so protective … and scared.” He admitted the emotion he had not even truly let himself acknowledge inside himself. Fear had been making him do a lot of things lately.

She interlaced her fingers in his. “Are the other secrets like this? Things that are just going to make me want to hug you all the more?”

“I suppose some might be.” Many things in his past were filled with so much pain. He had done some truly awful things over the years, but maybe she could see his pain through those decisions. “The really big one I fear might make you want to run off with the tracker after all.”

“I won’t,” she reassured him. “I know I can’t take that path. Even if I get really angry with you, like I did when Baghra told me you lied about your identity, I’m not picking to run and hide. Suppressing my true self made me sick. I refuse to be weak and ill to hide again.”

“I would understand if you pick to cut off my head after all, then.”

“That bad?”

He nodded as he tried to contain the emotion that stirred within him as he thought of what her reaction might be. He could not take it if she hated him. His heart could not take any more rejection. “It … I guess it depends. Will you judge me for what’s possible that I haven’t done? Will you even believe me? Can you possibly trust me? It will certainly reignite your doubts of me, and I don’t want … I don’t want to go back there.” After opening himself to her so thoroughly last night and into the morning, he found that words just came tumbling out on their own without his careful control.

“So … there’s something truly awful that’s possible that’s going to make me want to cut off your head but you haven’t done it, and you’re going to trust me enough to tell me about it? But you’re afraid to? Should we just rip the bandage off this wound now?” she asked. “It’s causing you immense pain the longer we let it fester. I will worry until I see how bad it truly is. Let’s just cauterize it and start fresh?”

He nodded. She was right. His heart would not stop aching until she knew. She could not love and accept him until she knew what he could do. He just wished he wasn’t terrified it would make her forever fear and hate him. “Perhaps you will believe David.” It was his only hope.

“David?” Her voice rose in surprise. “The fabrikator? What does he have to do with this?”

He took a deep breath. “Let’s go visit him. You’ll see.”

She kissed him gently before rising to dress. Making no effort to hide his stare, he let himself memorize her curves while she seemed to still appreciate his gaze upon her body. He wasn’t sure it would last, but he would take in every moment with her while he had them. He gasped when he saw her kefta. “Black? You would …”

“I would.” Half-dressed, she walked over and kissed him more passionately this time. “I told you that I only feel whole when I’m with you. I need you as much as you need me. I thought maybe that was fake and you were deceiving me, but the more I get to know you, I really don’t think so, Aleksander. You need me. I don’t think either one of us is particularly good about letting ourselves need someone else, but I’m done fighting against myself. It’s something I’ve been pondering as you slept. Maybe it’s okay to need each other. We are stronger together. Whatever this is that you’re about to tell me, we face it together. ”

[butterflies-dragons]

You’ll Be Queen One Day

This is something I wanted to say about the current debate of Queen Sansa.

For a big faction of the fandom, Queen Sansa is only D&D fan fiction and that won’t be Sansa’s endgame in the Books. ¡¡¡NEVER!!!    

According to Bryan Cogman, the man named by GRRM himself as the Keeper of the Lore, hints of Sansa’s Show endgame as Queen in the North were there since the Pilot Episode back in Season One:

BRYAN COGMAN: In the pilot, Sansa’s main function was informing members of her family and the audience that the only thing she wanted was to get out of Winterfell and go live in the big city and become queen—except a very different kind of queen than the one she ended up being. So Sansa’s storyline was always meant to have a note of triumph at the end, especially after all that she went through in the middle of the series. It was appropriate that she came full circle at the end. She was the only Stark left in Winterfell and leads the North into this new chapter. She’s the best hope for the North’s future.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd

"Winter Is Coming"

“In the pilot, Sansa’s main function was informing members of her family and the audience that the only thing she wanted was to get out of Winterfell and go live in the big city and become queen.”

Please take note that GRRM was very involved in the first four seasons of the Show. Especially the first one, he participated in the casting, he was part of the original pilot, he travelled to filming locations, he wrote one episode per season, etc.  

Season 1, Episode 1: "Winter Is Coming". Directed by Tim Van Patten & Written by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss.

SANSA: Do you think Joffrey will like me? What if he thinks I’m ugly? CATELYN: Then he is the stupidest prince that ever lived. SANSA: He’s so handsome. [CATELYN rolls her eyes.] SANSA: When would we be married? Soon or do we have to wait? CATELYN: Hush now. Your father hasn’t even said yes. SANSA: Why would he say no? He’d be the second most powerful man in the kingdoms. CATELYN: He’d have to leave home. He’d have to leave me. And so would you. SANSA: You left your home to come here. And I’d be queen someday. Please make father say yes. CATELYN: Sansa… SANSA: Please, please. It’s the only thing I ever wanted.

Watch the scene here.

Curiously enough, the immediately previous scene was a scene of Dany, the one where she said to Viserys: “I don’t want to be his [Khal Drogo] Queen. I want to go home.” A scene straight from the Books:

"I don't want to be his queen," she heard herself say in a small, thin voice. "Please, please, Viserys, I don't want to, I want to go home." 

—A Game of Thrones - Daenerys I

What a contrast with Sansa’s scene!

But Sansa’s scene is not from the Books. We don’t have any scene between Sansa and Catelyn at Winterfell.  

Sansa wanted romance more than being a monarch. She certainly was not opposed to marry a prince or a king, but her wishes were more about romance, being a Lady in a song, a wife of a gallant knight, and a mother of future ladies and gallant knights.      

This is what happened in the Books:

“Honors?” Ned laughed bitterly.

“In his eyes, yes,” she said.

“And in yours?”

“And in mine,” she blazed, angry now. Why couldn’t he see? “He offers his own son in marriage to our daughter, what else would you call that? Sansa might someday be queen. Her sons could rule from the Wall to the mountains of Dorne. What is so wrong with that?”

“Gods, Catelyn, Sansa is only eleven,” Ned said. “And Joffrey … Joffrey is …”

She finished for him. “… crown prince, and heir to the Iron Throne. And I was only twelve when my father promised me to your brother Brandon.”

—A Game of Thrones - Catelyn II

"Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful."

"He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."

Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. She looked at Arya. "What did you think of Prince Joff, sister? He's very gallant, don't you think?"

—A Game of Thrones - Arya I

Catelyn pushed Ned to accept the betrothal while Sansa corrected Beth’s comment about her being Queen.  

* * *

Later in the the Fourth Episode of the First Season, Cogman wrote a scene between Sansa and Septa Mordane where the septa says that Sansa will be Queen someday.

Again, this scene is not from the Books.

"Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things"

Season 1, Episode 4: "Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things". Directed by Brian Kirk & Written by Bryan Cogman.

SEPTA MORDANE: Someday your husband will sit there and you will sit by his side. And one day, before too long, you will present your son to the court. All the lords of Westeros will gather here to see the little prince... SANSA: What if I have a girl? SEPTA MORDANE: Gods be good, you'll have boys and girls and plenty of them. SANSA:What if I only have girls? SEPTA MORDANE: I wouldn't worry about that. SANSA:Jeyne Poole's mother had five children, all of them girls. SEPTA MORDANE: Yes, but it's highly unlikely. SANSA: But what if? SEPTA MORDANE: If you only had girls, I suppose the throne would pass to Prince Joffrey's little brother. SANSA: And everyone would hate me. SEPTA MORDANE: Nobody could ever hate you. SANSA: Joffrey does. SEPTA MORDANE: Nonsense. Why would you say such a thing? That business with the wolves? I've told you a hundred times... A direwolf is not... SANSA: Please shut up about it. SEPTA MORDANE: Do you remember your lessons? Who built the Iron Throne? SANSA: Aegon the Conqueror. SEPTA MORDANE: And who built the Red Keep? SANSA: Maegor the Cruel. SEPTA MORDANE: And how many years did it take to build... SANSA: My grandfather and uncle were murdered here, weren't they? SEPTA MORDANE: They were killed on the orders of King Aerys, yes. SANSA: The Mad King. SEPTA MORDANE: Commonly known as the Mad King. SANSA: Why were they killed? SEPTA MORDANE: You should speak to your father about these matters. SANSA: I don't want to speak to my father, ever. SEPTA MORDANE: You will find it in your heart to forgive your father. SANSA: No, I won't.

Watch the scene here.

* * *

Later in the the Sixth Episode of the First Season, there is a scene between Sansa and Joffrey where the prince says that Sansa will be Queen someday.

Once again, this scene is not from the Books.

"A Golden Crown"

Season 1, Episode 6: "A Golden Crown". Directed by Daniel Minahan. Story by  David Benioff & D. B. Weiss & Teleplay written by : Jane Espenson and David Benioff & D. B. Weiss.

SEPTA MORDANE: My prince. SANSA: My prince. JOFFREY: My lady. I fear I have behaved monstrously the past few weeks. With your permission? Joffrey offers Sansa a necklace. She turns around, for him to put it on her, as acceptance. SANSA: It’s beautiful. Like the one your mother wears. JOFFREY: You’ll be queen someday, it’s only fitting that you should look the part. Will you forgive me for my rudeness? SANSA: There’s nothing to forgive. JOFFREY: You’re my lady. One day we’ll be married in the throne room. Lords and ladies from all over the Seven Kingdoms will come, from the last hearth in the North, to the salt shore of the south. And you will be queen over all of them. I’ll never disrespect you again. I’ll never be cruel to you again. Do you understand me? You’re my lady now, from this day, until my last day. The two share their first kiss.

Watch the scene here.

I think that Sansa & Septa Mordane scene and Sansa & Joffrey scene were written from this Book scene:

“The king is dead.” Sansa could not say how she knew it, yet she did. The slow, endless clanging filled their room, as mournful as a dirge. Had some enemy stormed the castle and murdered King Robert? Was that the meaning of the fighting they had heard?

She went to sleep wondering, restless, and fearful. Was her beautiful Joffrey the king now? Or had they killed him too? She was afraid for him, and for her father. If only they would tell her what was happening …

That night Sansa dreamt of Joffrey on the throne, with herself seated beside him in a gown of woven gold. She had a crown on her head, and everyone she had ever known came before her, to bend the knee and say their courtesies.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

So far we have:

Sansa: “And I’d be queen someday.”

Septa Mordane: “Someday your husband will sit there [Iron Throne] and you will sit by his side.”

Joffrey: “You’ll be queen someday.”

The Sansa and Joffrey scene even got his own theme, a song composed by Ramin Djawadi called: 

You’ll Be Queen One Day

¿Why changing “Someday” for “One Day”? Maybe this curious detail means nothing... Maybe it means something...  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Why reiterate some many times that Sansa will be Queen, if it was clear that Sansa was betrothed with the Crown Prince Joffrey Baratheon, the Heir of the Iron Throne?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“—except a very different kind of queen than the one she ended up being.”

This is not the first time that Cogman alluded of that old say that says: “Be careful what you wish for” in regards of Sansa. He said something similar about Sansa’s arc in Season Five, specifically her marriage with Ramsay Bolton. 

Basically, when we decided to combine Sansa’s storyline with another character in the books it was done with the idea that it would be hugely dramatically satisfying to have Sansa back in her occupied childhood home and navigate this Gothic horror story she’s found herself in and, of course, to be reunited with Theon – setting her on the path to reclaiming her family home and becoming a major player in the big overall story. 

This stupid line “hugely dramatically satisfying” is BS of course. Men..........    

I have the impression that after they run out of canon material, D&D, Cogman and all, decided to recycle old plots. Here with Sansa, they basically gave her ANOTHER ONE GOTHIC HORROR STORY.

Since they didn’t like Sansa’s Vale plot as Alayne Stone, they gave Sansa “another lesson” like Kings Landing and Joffrey: “Be careful what you wish for”.

Sansa wished for a Southern Courtly Life with her Prince in Kingslading, and she got a Ghotic Horror Story. 

Sansa started to wish to return North, to Winterfell, to her Home, and D&D, Cogman and all decided to gave her Ghotic Horror Story 2.0 in Winterfell with Ramsay. Sexual abuse included. Men..........        

GRRM uses “Be careful what you wish for” theme very often, you just need to read his tale: “In The Lost Lands” or re-read Cersei’s story with Maggie the Frog. And as I just mentioned, Sansa’s wishes for a life at court in the south with her gallant Prince Joffrey. But D&D are just... not so good adapters.            

“So Sansa’s storyline was always meant to have a note of triumph at the end, especially after all that she went through in the middle of the series.”

¿How the majority of the fandom interpret these Cogman’s words? This way: “Queen Sansa is a reward for Sansa’s Season Five arc.” 

But Season One is four seasons before Season Five, and there were hints since the Pilot Episode... 

The fandom: SANSA WILL NEVER BE QUEEN, ¡¡¡NEEEVEER!!! 

..............................

“It was appropriate that she came full circle at the end. She was the only Stark left in Winterfell and leads the North into this new chapter. She’s the best hope for the North’s future.” 

Full Circle: From wanting to be Queen consort in the South to be the Queen in the North, by her own right.

Sansa’s Show endgame is also very in line with characters getting what they wished for but not in the way they thought. That is like the bit that follows: “Be careful what you wish for” = “You might just get it.” Seriously, go and read GRRM’s tale: “In The Lost Lands.” You can thank me later.     

Please also take note that GRRM has repeatedly said that:

Sansa is a major character. Part of the core that dominates the story.

He knows the endgame of the major characters for decades.

You can read more here.

So, if Queen Sansa is only D&D fan fiction, then WHOA! They planned it all since the very beginning, since the pilot episode itself. How surprising! Especially since GRRM was very involved in the Show back then.  

D&D wrote the pilot: “Sansa’s main function was informing members of her family and the audience that the only thing she wanted was to get out of Winterfell and go live in the big city and become queen.” AND GRRM LET THEM.

Cogman wrote a scene that was not from the Books where Septa Mordane says that Sansa will be Queen someday. AND GRRM LET THEM.

D&D wrote a scene that was not from the Books where Joffrey says that Sansa will be Queen someday. AND GRRM LET THEM.

D&D commissioned Ramin Djawadi to compose a theme for Sansa called: “You’ll Be Queen ONE Day,” for Sansa and Joffrey scene. AND GRRM LET THEM.

D&D wrote that Sansa’s Show endgame was being crowned Queen in the North. AND GRRM LET THEM.

And if you wanna read about Queen Sansa from the Books, please read these posts: Here and Here.

Good night.

[luuxxart]

UR FUTURE EVA HCS ARE SO SO GOOD IN OBSESSED......if it's ok w you could u tell me more

well after consuming any media my brain is always immediately like 👏🏽 ✨future AU time✨

if I were to write anything out i think it’d be funny if it were called like neon revelation evangelion. anyway tho

keep in mind tho I’ve only watched the anime and End of Evangelion and like,,, I skimmed some wiki pages bc I’m not really much of a reader (and I cannot find ANIMA anywhere anyway nor do I have money to spend on comics/manga) so I’m a noob,, and even then there’s stilll prolly a lot I don’t fully understand

but put a dime in and get the 20 minute long song so (and spoiler alert jic) here’s the info dump

in the words of David Byrne, how did we get here?

Post-Human Instrumentality Project failure, Shinji and Asuka form a temporary truce to investigate the ruins of NERV once the SEELE soldiers all clear out

The HI Project failed and all the EVAs (besides Unit 01 I think? but it’s marked missing) are in relative disrepair, so no need to go any further. Best for the SEELE soldiers to fall back and await further instruction.

Shinji and Asuka manage to slip back into the old headquarters after navigating through all the rubble and destruction of Tokyo-3 where they meet back up w Misato and Ritsuko

They girlbossed their way into this I’m sure they can girlboss their way out of it

(and girl what was ritsuko’s plan literally maam why would u come to a gun fight and not wear a bullet proof vest is no one wearing a bullet proof vest???? anyway)

It takes a while, but things sort of get back on the road under Misato and Ritsuko’s leadership. Gendo can stay dead, as a treat.

Shinji finds Unit-01 through. idk some kind of Mom version of the Force. Same with Asuka and Unit-02. They immediately begin repairs in case the military comes back. Angels are no longer a threat, so humanity becomes the main villain. as it should be.

For now, bc nothing ever stays dead.

Rei certainly doesn’t, bc despite the trauma, she’s technically family, Shinji wants her back like stat. And Ritsuko isn’t happy to oblige but she finds the blueprints and gets to work. Perhaps Lilith comes back to possess her. The science is basically god magic in this show so I don’t think it matters. The important part is there are no more clones from this point on, and Rei remakes herself how she wants to look while keeping her hair color and some mild resemblance to Yui. She forces her body to grow up alongside Shinji.

Bc, for all intents and purposes, they’re practically siblings. By god, let them do sibling things.

Misato contacts their sister NERV stations and explains the situation under full confidentiality. They agree to help fund EVA production and repair. They even manage to get Unit-04 out of the Dirac Sea under direction from Misato trying to interpret Shinji’s story about his experience.

I think it would be cool?? If they mayb?? reworked the mass production units. Not that Asuka would go anywhere near them but, it’s an idea.

For a few years, the EVAS are used to help rebuild Tokyo-3 since *large*.

Misato finds the locations of and calls the students from Class 2-A to attain permission for them to come back and potentially pilot EVAS. They’ve still got all this LCL and don’t know what to do with it. Bc really. what are they gonna do. go murder some more moms??????????

Only 3 people come back, and like, they just dip and don’t tell their guardians. It’s Kensuke, Tōji, and Hikari ofc

Tōji can’t pilot an EVA anymore, so he helps monitor EVA pilots with the other scientists. He’s also relatively good at directing them, which Misato takes a notice of.

Kensuke and Hikari pilot for a while, but after a minor SEELE threat, they realize they’re not really cut out for it like The First-Third Children. Kensuke goes through a crisis realizing he kind of hates killing with the mechs and Ritsuko takes him under her wing for mech design instead. Hikari started shadowing Misato from the get-go, but as Class Rep, she takes to the position of Junior Assistant Major pretty well. (And Tōji calls her the JAM which she hates ,,,,, but secretly loves it ;3)

Years pass and Ritsuko, Misato, and the original staff leave NERV entirely in the hands of the kids who are approx. 30 by the time the OG staff leaves.

NGE is already quite a “sins of the father” story, but it becomes more spread out as the main six have to really talk about and cope with what NERV left behind. (like Rei, the angels, the LCL, the true purpose of the HI Project etc.)

And at some point, Shinji sort of falls back into a depressive episode, so Rei brings back Kaworu. Hilarity ensues.

But This Opens The Door For The Angels. Oops.

No idea what happens after that. Actual headcanon time

relationship headcanon time✨✨

The people who stick together most closely end up being Shinji, Rei, and Asuka and then Tōji, Kensuke, and Hikari.

Eventually they split off further as relationships develop. Asuka/Rei, Tōji/Hikari, and Shinji/Kensuke, with the last one only forming bc it suckssss being the odd ones out alone. Might as well be the odd ones out together.

Asuka’s still scarred from the events of the HI Project so she’s not the one to initiate her relationship w Rei.

After being rebuilt, Rei decides to take her life into her own hands, kind of like Anthy. She tries to mend the relationships she never really got to have under Gendo and the HI Project’s control. Ritsuko is like, a bit beyond her, but that’s to be expected, and Rei backs off from that. Asuka is a bit more open to being friends.

Rei, Hikari, and Asuka try having some ✨girl time✨ away from the group and end up forming a little offshoot that meets from time to time.

Through her time spent with the other girls, Asuka realizes she can live for herself and not for the expectations of men and ends up putting more time into hobbies like studying (and eventually writing) theoretical physics, psychology, and engineering to better understand her EVA. Yeah she’s punk but like. she’s a scholarly punk who does not give a shit abt what anyone thinks anymore.

Identity is still very important to her, so that’s why I gave her the “02” tattoo. It’s sort of like mom-heart but for EVA pilots ig.

Asuka and Rei pretty much bond over studying theory, shocking each other with just how smart the other really is. And once Asuka realizes Rei isn’t an emotionless robot, it’s all over. 🧡🤍💖

I guess Tōji/Hikari is just destined to be endgame. I mean, they’re pretty cute in canon. It just sort of continues on a natural path from where they left off. Tōji confiding in Hikari abt his experience w the EVAs, them realizing they caught feelings in high school, dealing with it while working, and eventually becoming partners, Commander Suzuhara and Major Horaki. Just a good old JimPam. Every series needs a JimPam. For Evangelion, it’s Tōjikari.

SO ANYWAY SHINJI AND KENSUKE.

It honestly just comes from like, episode four?? Where they camp together?? adorable. lovely. ten out of ten. would watch again if I was willing to put myself through the angst of NGE again.

Kensuke really tries to understand Shinji. He really does. Tries to be there as much as he can pre-HI Project. Probably has just a tiny crush on him at that point and disguises it as a fascination w EVAs.

After Tōji’s accident, he tries not to show how much it bothers him that being an EVA pilot is not the life he thought it would be. Even still, he wants to be one. And after evacuating there’s not really much to do but mope. As far as he knows, Shinji and the EVAs are as good as dead.

But then his (father? Brother? Undecided, but I like to think he’s related somehow to that guy Misato hangs w in the last eps) gets the call from Misato to come back to Tokyo-3 for the clean-up project. His guardian declines so Kensuke persuades Tōji to leave with him. Hikari wants to come too, bc the Class Rep has to take care of her city ,,,, and Tōjikari :)❤️

Kensuke is overwhelmingly ecstatic to see Shinji again when they finally make it to NERV (as are Tōji and Hikari, to a bit of a lesser extent), but Shinji is hesitant because of the incident. Shinji basically chooses to avoid them at all costs.

This creates a weird bit of tension bc Kensuke wonders if Shinji just thinks he’s weird or hates him for some odd reason (maybe bc Shinji hated piloting the EVAs and Kensuke was so obsessed?) and Shinji becoming a shining beacon of silence as the years go on doesn’t help.

Shinji and Asuka still live w/ Misato until she retires bc they’re practically family at this point. Kensuke lives w/ Ritsuko to study under her wing until she retires. The others have their own apartments.

And then Asuka eventually goes to live with Rei in a part-private study/part-public library kinda joint.

When the old divorced-but-kinda-still-married gals retire to a safehouse, Shinji and Kensuke find themselves alone, and they deal with it for a while, but Misato/Ritsuko really try to hammer in that they should *loud cough* move in together *loud cough* or else die alone.

Kensuke agrees only for the sake of observationally studying Shinji to figure out why he’s the best pilot of the OG3.

Eventually Shinji breaks and admits he’s felt guilty abt the destruction of Unit-03 and that he had no idea Tōji was the pilot. Kensuke never blamed him for it though, so they awkwardly try to rekindle their friendship.

And then what little crush Kensuke had on Shinji comes back and they fall into a sort of accidentally married trope bc “they were roommates!”

Now that that’s settled, they form the Dude Trio w Tōji again,,,, except this time ;) 🏳️‍🌈

Knowing that Shinji has no problem w Kensuke’s obsession w mechs, he becomes a lot more exuberant about them again and is constantly bragging about the upgrades he makes and talks excessively about how EVAs function (which Asuka definitely bonds w him over)

Shinji just kinda listens and is slowly like “oh fuck I like this nerd.”

Kensuke is the first to admit it bc he knows Shinji will never make the first move after *literally everything*.

Then kiss kiss, get married, Angel attack. Oops. What happens next? yes❤️

And that’s about all I got

I haven’t gone so deep as to have like “who’s the cook” or “who always steals the blankets” but I hope you enjoyed reading !! This took all day to compose 😭😭😭 maybe I’ll draw more in the future!!

[365days365movies]

March 16, 2021: Legend (1985) (Part One)

Hi, Tim Curry. How are you doing today?

Yeah, that tracks. Been a while, always good to see you. Man, actually, when is the last time I saw you? Clone Wars? I think so, although I don’t know if that really counts. I think, in person, it was...oof, Criminal Minds in 2012?

Yeah, dude, you were FUCKING TERRIFYING, HOLY SHIT. I feel like people don’t talk about that performance as much, but you were goddamn amazing, buddy. Sorry I didn’t open with this, but...you were my childhood, Ti. Like, from Clue to The Wild Thornberrys to Muppet Treasure Goddamn Island GOD I LOVE YOU IN THAT MOVIE TOO

Amazing. And let’s not forget Ferngully, of course. Look...I love you, OK? You’re beautiful. And I know that recently, you’ve been through a lot of health struggles, and I wish you the absolute best, I sincerely do. You’re the best, man. Hang in there. 

Actually, while I have you...settle a bet for me, I’ve got it with myself. Have I...have I already seen this movie? Because I feel like I might have, but I don’t think so. It’s like the Mandela effect, y’know? I mean, if I’d seen it before...would I not remember you in this get-up?

I mean...come ON, RIGHT? I know FOR A FACT that I’ve attempted to watch this movie with friends before, and that didn’t happen. Then, I tried to watch it on my own, and that didn’t pan out because I’m pretty sure I fell asleep after 15 minutes. It had been a long day, I’m sorry. But...I don’t get it, Tim Curry? What the hell happened?

Well...whatever. I guess we’re going to take care of this ONCE AND FOR ALL. Now, who directed this movie?

Oh shit, REALLY? RIDLEY SCOTT! Kick-ass, he did Alien, and this - 

And then this - 

OOH, and this!

Oh, and we can’t forget this!

And also this!

And...and this...

...And this...

Oh. Fuck, and this.

...

OH GOD STOP I FORGOT ABOUT 1492

...OK, this could either be a very good movie, or a very VERY bad one. I mean...it’s got Tim Curry in it, so it can’t be that bad? And hey, Scott was on a hotstreak at the time, right? What could go wrong? Let’s do this!

SPOILERS AHEADOH FUCK IS THAT TOM CRUISE

Recap (1/2)

...Ahem. Um. OK. Maybe I imagined that image, or it’s from a different movie. Cool. Let’s keep going, nothing to see here.

The opening text scroll tells us that once, long ago, before time was even a concept, the world was shrouded in darkness. But Darkness hid from the light, which brought to the world laughter, love, and...unicorns. Yeah, really. Unicorns harbor the Light in their souls, as the most mytsical of all creatures. They’re safe from Darkness, and can only be found by a pure-hearted mortal, like Jack, a denizen of the forest. He is loved by Lily, and both believe only in goodness. But not for long, as a struggle for the balance between Darkness and Light is about to commence, and in that struggle will be born...Legend (1985), dir. Ridley Scott.

As the opening credits roll and confirm that Tom Cruise is in fact in this movie, I take a brief moment to vomit lightly.

At night, walking through the forest, there is a creature with some...bad-ass makeup and costume design GODDAMN. Like, yeah, that category’s already looking good. Anyway, the creature goes through the forest, and finds a den of fire and torture, all lorded over by a horned man, who speaks Mother Night, asking for her protection.

This is Darkness (Tim Curry), and...fuck me, holy shit, I GET it. Like, this dude began an entire movement and aethestic, and it makes a fuckton of sense. THis dude must have given birth to, like 10,000 goth children, goddamn. Anyway, he commands his goblin henchman Blix (Alice Playten) to find a unicorn and kill it, and to bring its horn back to him. Blix, the rhyming cretin, asks how to find them. And Darkness answers with the perfect lure: innocence.

That innocence is symbolized by Princess Lily (Mia Sara), a maiden cavorting happily about the wood, without a care in the goddamn world. She visits her friend Nell (Tina Martin), and briefly has a vision of winter in the cottage. Nell notes that it’s time for her to grow up a bit, but Lily’s only concerned with finding her sweetheart, Jack.

And Jack is...well, Jack o’ the Green (Tom Cruise) is a young man who lives in the forest, with his animal friends. An innocent himself, he’s basically Peter Pan, with Lily playing his Wendy. Except, well, they’re not THAT innocent, because they, like, IMMEDIATELY make out on the forest floor. Which has to be uncomfortable, real goddamn talk.

Jack teaches Lily to speak with the birds, then takes her to see something wonderful and rare. All the while, they’re being followed by Blix, who believes that their innocence will attract the mystical unicorns. And, uh, yeah, Blix is entirely correct about that, because here they come! And they’re making whale noises?

Apparently, as long as unicorns roam the Earth, evil can never harm the pure of heart. They express only love and laughter, and dark thoughts are unknown to them. Which Lily takes as an opportunity to go hang out with them, despite Jack’s urgings.

But the unicorns seem receptive to her, to Jack’s...frustration? He just kinda leaves her behind for some reason. And Blix takes the opportunity to hit one of the unicorns with a poison dart, causing them to be startled and storm off. Lily flees into the forest, and is immediately scolded by Jack, saying that what she did is forbidden by magic forest law. OK. She’s as confused about that as I am, but she still apologizes to him.

The two kiss, and Lily makes a promise to him and the universe, I guess, and says that whomever finds her ring will have the right to marry her. She throws it, and Jack IMMEDIATELY JUMPS OFF A CLIFF AFTER IT GODDAMN MY MAN! Lily screams hysterically after him for...some reason?

However, this isn’t great timing, because Blix and the goblins have caught up to the poisoned unicorn, and they cut off its horn, immediately plunging the forest into a fierce winter, similar to what Lily saw in her vision. Jack, in the river looking for the ring, is trapped underwater, beneath ice. By the time he breaks out, Lily’s already run away, to Nell’s place. Nell is frozen solid for some reason, and the goblins are also coming off after Lily for...some reason.

Lily hides, as Blix and his two companions Pox (Peter O’Farrell) and Blunder (Kiran Shah) exposit the whole thing so that Lily’s caught up on her fault in all of this, and once they leave, she promises to make it right. No idea how she’s gonna do that, but sure.

Jack, meanwhile has collapsed in the woods and snow. He’s woken up by a spirit of the forest named Honeythorn Gump (David Bennent), who is...interesting. He asks Jack what in the FUCK happened, and Jack admits that Lily, a mortal, touched a unicorn, which is apparently the ultimate no-no. Gump’s pissed, but the ACTUAL SECOND that Jack says that it was for love, Gump’s just...totally cool with it? They have a drink with Brown Tom (Cork Hubbert), and agree to help him find Lily...like, immediately.

They quickly find the dead unicorn, and yeah, the unicorn is FUCKING DEAD after losing its horn, and its mate shows up to mourn. Jack and Gump mourn with the magical creature, which looks REALLY BIG for a horse, Jesus. She stays with her fallen mate, and Jack goes back to the group, delivering the news that they’re cursed? No idea where that came from. 

To lift the curse and get the horn back, they must find a champion bold in heart and spirit. Gump IMMEDIATELY nominates Jack, and takes him to some cave where he can find weapons and armor. He’s guided by Oona (Annabelle Lanyon), a fairy who is LITERALLY NAVI FROM ZELDA, I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH

Oona reveals her true form to him secretly, then notes that she could be anything he wants her to be, even his heart’s desire. COMIN’ ON A LITTLE STRONG THERE OONA. Anyway, in the vault of golden weapons and armor and...gold, Jack grabs a sword.

Meanwhile, Lily follows Blix and his group, where Blix uses the magic of the Unicorn Horn (or the Alicorn) to demonstrate his newly found prowess. But as he’s claiming to take over Darkness’ kingdom. Just then, Darkness shows up and claims the Horn for himself, and kills Blunder when he talks back. Darkness asks whether or not the Unicorns are both dead, and reveals that his power will not be complete until the female Unicorn is also dead.

Lily runs off and makes her way back to the Unicorn and Brown Tom, and warns them of the Goblin’s approach to kill the Mare. Brown Tom, who I think is either a leprechaun or a brownie, fends the Goblins off, while Lily and the Mare...DON’T RUN? FUCKING RUN YOU ASSHOLES!

Tom gets shot by an arrow...in the hat. He immediately falls dead, despite being totally fine, the dick. And Lily and the mare are captured, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T FUCKING RUN WHEN THEY SHOULD’VE. Jack, Gump, and the leprechaun/gnome/brownie/halfling Screwball (Billy Barty) come to “rescue” him. He tells them that Lily’s alive, and Gump takes Jack to the Great Tree for the next step, accompanied by Screwball and Tom. There, they find...

WOW. THAT SHIT IS COOL. This is Meg Mucklebone *Robert Picardo), and this thing is absolutely my favorite thing in the movie so far...AND THEN JACK KILLS HER IMMEDIATELY. JAAAAAAACK, WHAT THE HELL, she was really cool. Goddamn it.

The group gets to the great tree, then falls into an underground prison, where Blunder is also held. The group is NOT where they want to be, right in Darkness’ lair. Nice job, Gump. In the prison, the guys, now joined by fellow brownie/dwarf/gnome thing Blunder, hide from one of Darkness’ men, as he takes Blunder away to the torture table.

Stuck in the cell, Jack suggests that Oona go and get the keys. However, her ability to transform into a humanoid form was a secret between her and Jack, and she’s upset by him revealing it. Gump’s also upset by the secret in and of itself, but she defends that her secrets are hers to keep. You tell him, Oona!

She then says that she’ll only do what Jack wants if he kisses her, GODDAMN IT OONA. NOW IS NOT THE TIE TO GO ALL TINKERBELL IN HOOK! He gives her a little peck, but she transforms into Lily to make him give her a real kiss, dear lord that is CREEPY, OONA! Jack almost kisses her, but refuses at the last second. He notes that human hearts can’t be won over that way, which greatly upsets Oona. Still, she ends up getting the keys for them regardless, and sets them free.

And at this point, we are halfway through, so FUCK IT. PART TWO! See you there.

[therenlover]

heyy jac I first wanted to say you are amazing, thank you for going out of your way to give us tfatws content. it brightens up my day whenever I see you post. I was just listening to your zemo playlist and I’m one of those people who when I listen to a song I love to make scenarios in my head. I was wondering if you could walk us through some of your favourite songs on the playlist and tell us how you associate them with zemo. I’d love to hear your thoughts on some of the songs. (if that isn’t too much hassle sorry if I’m being annoying lol).

 Anon, you are currently my favorite person in the whole wide world. I absolutely want to give you my favorite songs on the playlist and tell you exactly what I see when I hear them, and you have given me an excuse to do so. This post will probably be long as hell, so I’m putting it under the cut. 

Foolish To Think from A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder

We all know Zemo is a baron, but like... we don’t know how powerful baron’s are in Sokovia. We also don’t know pretty much anything about his childhood or rise to power. I am a firm believer that he’s been ever so slightly unhinged even when he was still just a normal dude, so this is him deciding “you know what, I’m about to climb my way up the Zemo family ladder however I need to,” This, in my mind, is the epitome of fresh faced, 18 year old, canon Zemo ready to go fuck some people up for power. 

If Music Be The Food Of Love arranged by David Dickau

During his rise to power, still just a normal dude, Zemo falls in love with his wife. I’m a big believer in the fact that, because Zemo was raised as royalty, he knows a whole lot of pretentious shit like Shakespeare and recites it to his partner to be romantic. The line “Though yet, the treat is only sound, sure I must perish by your charms unless you save me in your arms,” is what he used to woo her early in the relationship. So cute, it would be terrible if something bad happened to her...

Bogoroditse Djevo arranged by Arvo Pärt

This one is more of a scene I get in my head. It’s a Christmas tune, and I can see him, his wife, and their infant going to their first Christmas market as a family in Novi Grad. Just... walking from stall to stall, giggling at the performers, eating the food, buying little gifts for the baby to remember the occasion. It’s a calm before the storm.

The Swan by Camille Saint-Saëns

This song, in the playlist, marks the death of Zemo’s family. In the past, dancers have interpretted the melody as a badly injured swan, slowly struggling as they die but still being graceful and elegant as they do. As he searches through the rubble, his hope slowly dies, and in the end his hope dies where his family did. Thus begins his descent into madness in...

Daemon Irrepit Callidus arranged by György Orbán

Daemon Irrepit Callidus is Zemo’s descent into madness. From this point on, he slowly loses his softness. The tone of the songs is often much more modern, pulling away from his roots as a baron and man of high status and leaning into something more gritty for much of the Civil War era in the playlist. He has descended into hell and he believes there is no turning back from here. 

Songe d’Automne performed by The White Star Orchestra

Reportedly (by Harold Bride, surviving Jr Telegrapher who was washed off the deck as the ship sank) this was the last song the orchestra played as the Titanic sank. Zemo is going nuts. ‘Nough said.

If I Believed from Twisted

This song, along with a few more, is an outlier in the Civil War era. It represents his reasoning for what he’s doing. I imagine this song is the feeling he has after he listens to his wife’s last voicemail. He’s doing everything for her, burning a whole superhero organization to the ground so that he can assure nobody else has to live through what he did, but he can’t deny that a part of him wishes he could just bring her back no matter how illogical that is.

How Does A Moment Last Forever (Music Box) from Beauty and the Beast

This is, again, a softer moment. He looks back on the time he spent with his family and tries to keep it safe in his mind. It anchors him to reality and keeps him focused on his goals. The end is coming soon in his mind, so he clings as hard as he can to those remaining memories of peace.

Dies Irae arranged by Giuseppe Verdi

He sets the Winter Soldier loose murders all the remaining soldiers in the Hydra base on his day of reckoning. Yeah, that’s basically it, it’s just hype music as he has his big moment.

As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese

His plan has been carried out and now Zemo is simply watching as the world caves in around him. He’s succeeded in all of his plans, the avengers are crumbling, he’s listened to his wife’s voicemail one last time and now he’s ready to be dead. He thinks this is it. Well, until he’s taken into custody and locked up forever. 

Leonardo Dreams Of His Flying Machine arranged by Eric Whitacre

My man Eric is coming in clutch once again. This is Zemo, brilliant mind and all, stuck rotting in jail. He has nothing but his dreams of grandeur to tide him over So, he dreams. He dreams of escape, of his family, of what waits for him once he dies. 8 years of dreaming pass before Bucky finally approaches as Lacrimosa plays.

Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Fuck you, Mozart. You’re only here because you played in the show. Moving on. 

The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani 

You cannot tell me that this isn’t what was playing in Zemo’s head as he escaped from maximum security prison and rolled up to that warehouse looking all hot and mysterious. 

Sibella from A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

Look who’s back! This time, though, I included this because I am adamant that Zemo fucks someone he used to know while he’s escaped and they have a big dramatic love affair. Like, he just does. I don’t make the rules. 

WAP by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion 

Zemo would just love WAP. He says all that woke shit, so like, he vibes with female empowerment and the idea of them taking back their sexuality. He also loves the annoyed look on Bucky’s face when he plays it, so it stays on the playlist. 

The Man I Used To Be from The Count of Monte Cristo

Now, this one is more speculative, but I feel like Zemo will have a minor change of heart. he won't suddenly be a morally straight good guy to the bone, but I think he’s seriously rethinking his ideology and at some point, he might find a way to let go of a lot of the pain and remorse he’s been carrying around. 

No More from Into The Woods

This song, in my mind, takes place at the Sokovian memorial. Zemo is there and he’s so tired of running and fighting and grieving. He just wants to be okay again but he doesn’t know how to. He has this mental moment where he’s asking his deceased father for help and yet the memory (ghost?) of his father, who he resented for most of his life, isn’t helping him straightforwardly. He has to figure it out for himself in the end. This line speaks to me most. “No more giants waging wars. Can’t we just pursue our lives, with our children and our wives? Till that happy day arrives, how do you ignore...” 

and finally...

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep arranged by Laura Farnell

Of all the songs on this list, this one was the only one I was absolutely certain of including and I knew it had to be the last song no matter what else I included. Its contents, a famous poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye, could refer to either Zemo or his family. In the case that he visits the monument, it could be the feeling he gets there. Finally, he knows that his family is somewhere better, not buried under the rubble of his home. He’s finally free. 

If he dies at the end of the series though, it takes on a whole new meaning. It’s about him, how he isn’t trapped by his mortal body anymore. He’s now everywhere, both a constant reminder to the world of the atrocities committed in Sokovia and a testament to how powerful a father’s love for his family can be. Once again, he’s finally free to reunite with those he loves, but this time it’s he who isn’t truly dead so long as people heed his life as a warning. 

Wow, this was longer than I thought it would be even when I cut a few songs... I hope you enjoyed!