#evangelizing? preaching? fuck what word am i thinking of

[sonic-adventure-3]

I GUESS THAT IVE GOTTEN GREEDY, YOUVE GOT A POWER TO FACE EVEN YOUR OWN! JUST NEED SOME VITAL MEANING, THE FEELING THAT WE SHOULD NEVER BE HIIIIIDE!!!!

everybody listen to when we reach for you ~could it be right~ THIS INSTANT

[normal-thoughts-official]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

[workersolidarity]

Wow. Just wow.

For anyone who wants an answer to why intelligent, educated younger generations are rejecting the various Christian Churches, organized religion and Christian Fundamentalism en masse, look no further than this ludacris response to a thoughtful Christian with doubts about the more extreme interpretations of Christianity.

The moron who runs this website (I'm not going to include his name and give this dickhead even more attention than I already am by writing this) authors various books rejecting modern science and theories such as Evolution, and who also preaches intolerance to his readers is a superb example of the idiocy that taken over modern Christianity.

It's people like this that are single handedly responsible for the demise of their own Religious beliefs.

I came across this little gem right here while looking up something about the Indus Valley Civilizations and Hinduism.

When I first saw the link I was curious. Perhaps a Christian leader with a sizeable following had thoughtful answer to one of his readers?

Fucking Hell was I wrong to imagine modern Christianity had even one sane leader in it's midst.

The question from the reader was to get the author's thoughts that perhaps Ancient Religions far older than Christianity may have been endowed with correct teachings until the time Jesus came along.

The author begins his answer in typical Evangelical fashion, filled with the author's obvious disdain for Religious tolerance.

He starts by commenting that the suggestion that any part of Hindu beliefs could contain correct teachings to be "Nonsense", immediately insulting over a Billion Hindus alive today.

This response (amazingly) took my breath away. Even myself, one of the most cynical human beings on Earth when it comes to how low Christianity can go before it bursts into flames and (hopefully) disappears all together, couldn't believe how quickly this little bit of Q&A turned into a screed against tolerance of Eastern Religions.

I stopped reading after that, so forgive me if the author showed a hint of humanity in any further part of his Salem Witch Trials, 17th-Century antiquated style response to his thoughtful reader. But I wasn't capable of digesting anymore garbage from another Right-Wing Christian nutcase.

Instead I clicked on the Website's menu and spent a few seconds exploring the site. I was trying to understand what kind of appeal this Fire and Brimstone idiot could possibly have that his Website popped up near the top of Google's listings when I had been searching for the completely unrelated History of Vedic Literature.

First thing I saw was that the Author has written multiple books about the Christian Fundamentalist view of modern Science and the Theory of Evolution.

Now, there's nothing unusual about Religious leaders twisting themselves into pretzels to fit their views into our modern understanding of the Universe around us. Every Religion does this to a degree. What's breathtaking about this guy is the audaciousness with which he attacks modernity in Science. He sounds more like a 16th-Century Daemonoligist than a modern Religious thinker.

And a quick scroll through the Website's main Menu immediately reveals the man's obsession with "Apologetics" among Christians. Clearly this guy really believes that Christians are running around apologizing for their beliefs, like they probably should be but that's for another time. Just that word, "Apologetics" pops up (no joke) SIX TIMES in the Main Menu ALONE! (This guy's obsession is already creeping me out and I haven't even clicked on anything yet!)

The obsession with "Apologetics," as he calls it, is so top of the guy's mind that he includes Podcasts on the subject and EVEN A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION ON IT!

At this point I just wanted to confront the guy about his extreme obsession and his seething anger with Religious tolerance, but quickly realized this Website of his, with all his books, audio files, PowerPoints, and Q&A screeds curiously doesn't include any possible way to contact him. Unlike most Religious websites, no Email address, phone number, office address or anything else is listed on the Website. Clearly this man has interest in having his views challenged by outsiders. In fact his Q&A response makes it quite clear he has no appreciation for even his fans thinking outside the box.

It's people like this that make America such a scary place for logical thinking, educated young people these days. And is a big reason why our Generation and younger upcoming Generations show little interest in Organized religion at all. Even among deeply Religious young Evangelicals, large portions are rejecting the organized Churches and Religious Organizations.

This rejection isn't because of "Leftists" poisoning their minds with tolerance of Transexual bathroom usage. It's the fact that these organized Religious institutions can barely disguise their hatred for tolerance and Science.

If Religious folks who have kids or grandkids who no longer attend Church and they're wondering why, they can look no further than Men (and it almost always is White middle aged Men) who espouse antiquated ideas that have no place in a modern culture.

[automatismoateo]

[Seeking support] I have been Christian my whole life, I grew up in a Christian family, and my relationship/life has been tied into christianity, but I really don't think I beleive in it anymore, and I'm scared of what that means for me. [VERY long post] via /r/atheism

Submitted August 26, 2021 at 07:21AM by odna_ona (Via reddit https://ift.tt/3ytHBQB) [Seeking support] I have been Christian my whole life, I grew up in a Christian family, and my relationship/life has been tied into christianity, but I really don't think I beleive in it anymore, and I'm scared of what that means for me. [VERY long post]

Hello Reddit,

I am a young woman, I grew up surrounded by the kumbaya Christianity from the Republican conservative Evangelical block in the U.S.A., and as I grew up, I started to question things. This is going to be a long post, so I apologize in advance, as this is really a difficult subject for me, that I have had a hard time confronting, but I really think it is time.

I don't want to get too sappy, but both of my parents are immigrants from a country where Christianity was genuinely prosecuted, and I do grieve this unfair treatment, but they both moved, and here we have a small tight knit monoethnic community, I grew up with these people, but I always felt like an outsider with them. My parents were both severely abusive, and abused substances.

When I was a teenager, I developed an eating disorder and mental issues I struggle with to this day, and after wrestling with them in their worst for 2 years, I became afraid, and decided to seek help. My family told me to turn to God, instead of seek therapy or medical help, so I did just that.

I threw myself into the religion, I sobbed at the altar during prayer nights until 2 in the morning, came home tear streaked, and felt momentarily better, only to realize, I did not feel better at all, I thought it was just me. I thought it was me who is demonically possessed, so that God cannot come into me, and I'm the weird one because I don't experience God like everyone else does. So, I was ashamed to tell anyone, and instead ordered a exorcism.

During the "exorcism", I was put in a room, with my pastor, and several other men, and a woman who was supposedly a prophet. The doors were locked, it was quiet, and then they all began to shout at me, making odd noises. I was extremely afraid, because I suffer noise sensitivity issues, and C-PTSD, and this fear led to a panic attack. I was trembling and sobbing and I kept whispering and begging them to stop. They kept going, put a hand on me, and prayed for me. And when I left, I convinced myself I was better, but in a day or two, I realized nothing had changed.

When I took my first job, I was sexually abused and stalked by two men. My christian family was furious with me, and I was punished. I declined therapy because they told me to keep my whore mouth shut.

I grew up, started seeing doctors myself, and took prescribed medications. My family members found out and ridiculed me for it, saying only God could heal me. This sort of disgusted me, and was the first time I felt like everything I believed was sort of twisted.

I started to question God, I started to question my faith, when homophobia was rampant, when people became saying blatantly racist things (because somehow that is justified by God), when people ostracized me for the fact that I did not want to have biological children. I thought, if God is so omnipresent, then why the fuck does he care about you singing your solos in sunday church service. Surely, God would not be impressed, and surely, if God was, then there would be no way to appease him.

I sought education, and realized the flaws in my beliefs, and in the people who I had looked up to as Christian role models.

This brings me to my conclusion, my dilemma. I met my partner, and we built a relationship on Christian standards, and I love him, and am building a life with him. I love my other family, my siblings, my aunts, uncles, my partners family, with my whole heart, and I feel like I have a home with them. I've never felt more loved/accepted, generally, in my entire life.

But I don't think I can leave. I don't want to throw away everything I have, and I don't want to lose my partner or family, those who I love more than anything on this planet. At the same time, I dont know if I can tolerate another preacher preaching about how everything I ever experienced is because I'm a whore or because I'm possessed.

I feel really torn, empty, and as always, alone.

Any words help, thank you for skimming through at least part of this ♡ much love to everyone.

[mariaiscrafting]

Okay wait, I actually have something to say about this since I've actually been thinking a lot about prison reform and restorative justice because of my black queer feminism class from Thursday (don't ask).

So, how I understand it, from my upbringing and what I've learned from father (protestant pastor), is that the Old Testament promotes these ideas of punitive justice (there's an actual word for this, but I don't remember what exactly, so I'll call it punitive justice for now). Essentially, to earn forgiveness for one's grievances, one needs to suffer an equal amount for the sin one committed. Like, eye for an eye type shit. A lot of religious conservatives in the US today use this form of justice as a justification for their views on criminality and the justice system, because to them, you need to pay your due in suffering to be worthy of reconciliation and forgiveness.

Then, there's the shit preached in the New Testament. Jesus saying to love your neighbor, no matter what they do to you, to forgive your worst enemy. Jesus forgiving the disciple who betrayed him, even as he faced death. It is what a lot of new age evangelicals and younger, more progressive Christians use to justify their pursuit of restorative justice as a new structure for the US justice system. The belief is based on values of love and forgiveness, in believing that humans, because they were made in God's image, can love unconditionally and despite anyone's sins, just as God does. Rather than enact justice through the belief in the fearfulness one should feel towards God, as Old Testament Christians do, they want to enact it through the belief in forgiveness. My dad always told me that one of the greatest, ungodliest errors a human being can commit is to refuse to forgive someone, even when we are on death's door.

All this to say that Christianity is so vast and complex, that oftentimes its values are espoused in seemingly contradictory ways. So honestly, who's to say who is right in the question of what to do with c!Dream. Me? I am consciously controlled by my vices and selfishness and emotions, so I say fuck that guy, he deserves to suffer for what he's done.

But then again, I'm not even a Christian.

I've seen a post that said that it's this fandom's Christian values that drive us to simply forgive c!Dream even though he doesn't deserve it - and I've also just now seen a post saying that suffering and punishment being a requirement for redemption is a Christian ideal

This has made me realize that I fundamentally understand next to nothing about Christianity

But it's funny that both sides are using the same subject for opposite arguments

[cycling-through-grief]

Day 102: Buckle Up.

           Have you ever stood before a shelf of books in a bookstore, staring at the titles and wishing that you could believe in the words that they contain? Have you ever stared so hard, wishing so hard, that the only emotion remaining was frustration, because you know that something isn’t adding up, something isn’t right?

           I feel that way about Christianity, or any Jesus/Yeshua-centered religions that follow the Abrahamic faith.

           I would stand in front of these shelves, staring and seeing these inspirational titles and bible guides and thinking, “What would rekindle my faith? Is there something I could do that would help bring back that sense of feeling Jesus like it used to be?”

           And nothing would come to me.

           At the time, I admit that I was rather closed-minded. There was a lot of influence in my life that didn’t encourage me to think outside of the Christian box. So I didn’t look to other faith systems to see if something would “quicken my soul” the way that some preachers would say that their own souls were quickened when they had a Finding Jesus™ moment. When my parents got divorced, my mother got custody. We were raised in an Evangelical Christian environment (Foursquare movement), which honestly, wasn’t the overall worst, but towards the end of our time at that congregation, I could just feel the judgement from people towards me, wondering why I wasn’t heading up a ministry myself.

           Why? Because I had graduated from a Bible college.

           But I was entirely burnt out on Christianity.

           Sensationalism, emotionalism, “inspirational”-ism, hyper-Christianity, the whole “quiverful” movement that was starting up, the sanctioned judgments that one could make on another group, the Christian culture that was (on the most part) hateful towards anyone who was not-one-of-us . . .

           All of this had burned out the place in my heart that I had once thought that I had felt the fires of a holy passion, if you would. There was nothing but ashes and dust in my heart. I tried going to a Messianic Jewish congregation, but found more of the same, simply spoken in new ways.

           Mental illnesses weren’t looked upon as being something that a human couldn’t escape from. They weren’t even acknowledged. It was simply one more thing for Yeshua (Jesus) to fix. Trust me, I would have loved it if my depression and PTSD was miraculously healed. Any symptoms of any anxiety attack was passed off as being emotional. Someone I had trusted and loved dearly had tried to say that I should be thinking of believers in more harrowing situations while I was still weeping and shaking during an anxiety attack. I had someone in leadership of that community whom I had trusted tell me that I shouldn’t talk about my mental distress online. Why? Because the forum was only a place where people thrived on reading about other people’s drama with popcorn at hand.

           Those two situations had sealed the deal for me, after almost two years of trying to be a “good Messianic Jew” which, yes, is an oxymoron. My time wasn’t honored because I didn’t have kids to raise so clearly I had more “free time” to contribute. My skills weren’t honored, as I made seven dance costumes in two weeks alone when I was told at the onset that I would have two other women sewing with me. I was singing and playing guitar for the worship team, and that was a mess because someone kept trying to head it up who had none of the skills for the leadership position.

           There was just so much hurt and frustration that I couldn’t take it anymore.

           I tried to find a new congregation, but when I could feel more at peace in a freaking graveyard than in the parking lot of a church, well. That’s got to say something.

           So I’ve been researching faith systems. I’ve been looking into every old faith that’s predated Christianity and Judaism. I’ve been looking into faiths that have grown into their prime after the rise of Christianity. I don’t know if I’ll ever settle down into one particular faith, but I know this for certain: The words of those who blindly follow a patriarchal religion that demonizes people who experience romantic love regardless of sex or gender, or who don’t believe in any religion, or who believe in a religion that isn’t Christianity . . .

           I don’t want any part of what those people are into.

           Regardless of what religion or faith that they follow, the moment that hatred is preached, I’m out. I’m done. There’s no room for this “us versus them” mentality, especially to the point where the followers of that faith are talking and acting violently.

           This is not to say that I believe that anyone who is an extremist follows any of the core or even fringe tenets of the faith that they claim to adhere to. Daesh (ISIL/ISIS) is not Islam. The Ku Klux Klan is not Christian. Westboro “Baptist Church” is not Christian.

           I just had to run out and grab cat litter, and on the way back, I had a thought that explains this year and my experiences in the last few years quite aptly:

           I am more broken now than I ever was when I wanted to be “broken for Christ.”

           People, especially young people from lower-middle-class and upwards in a developed and technologically-advanced country don’t have any idea what it means to be broken unless they have suffered through several tragedies in a row in a short amount of time. I didn’t get it when I was a kid that the point of “brokenness and suffering for Christ” that I had thought I had wanted was simply emotional self-sabotage. Nobody could have told me what real brokenness was. Do you know what it is?

           Getting a call on Christmas that Grandma took a bad fall and wasn’t coherent.

           Getting a call on Easter that my father had a heart attack and that it looked really bad.

           I had reconciled with them after years of strife. I had been given that time.

           Brokenness is realizing that you were given just enough time to feel peace beside them and to accept their love for me before it was fucking taken away for the rest of my life.

           That’s brokenness.

           And that’s why I can never again find myself darkening the door of a Christian church ever again. Because you can preach to me about the love of whichever god you follow all you like, I can quote the scriptures right back at you, but if you try to tell me that “everything happens for a reason,” then you’re going to need to find a wad of paper towels because I will fucking break your nose. Because you can never give me the sense of purpose that I never felt while Christian. You can never convince me that there’s some “perfect peace” just waiting for me so long as I follow the will of a god who has ordered the murder of entire civilizations. You can never tell me that I have some “greater purpose” when the Christian church as a majority has set back equal rights for my gender when they became the official religion of a failing Empire.

           So I sit here and wonder:

           Where will I feel peace again? What religion or faith will finally give rest to my soul? Or will there even be a faith for me again? Philosophies, yes, absolutely, but a faith?

           Who knows.

[pretentiousrecordstoreguy]

Andrew Wood - The Jesus Christ of Grunge

I worked at a record store for most of my college days. The pay was terrible, the customers had bad taste (for the most part), and the owner was always doing some untoward stuff that later resulted in his partner kicking him out of the business… but it may have been the best job I’ve ever had. Why was it the best job ever?  Because my income was supplemented by an unending supply of promo CDs, first crack at all CDs being traded in by customers, and my name always happened to make it onto the guest list of two of the three big music venues in town. Plus my co-workers were a diverse group of equally music-obsessed nerds, punk rockers, hip-hop enthusiasts and an Anglophile manager who became one of my best friends. It was pretty epic, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.


Working in a record store also gave me special insight into crazy rabbit hole of music theory conspiracies. My buddy Ryan Shaw had this theory about Andrew Wood, the lead singer of Mother Love Bone and the first major heroin casualty of the grunge era. His theory was that Andrew Wood was the prophet that rock and roll was promised, that he would be overlooked and ridiculed in his own time, and then sentenced to death for the sins of rock and roll, only to be resurrected and live eternally through his disciples and their testimony. 


In other words, Andrew Wood was the Jesus Christ of Grunge who had to die for the sins of Hair Metal so that Rock and Roll could live on. 


SIDE NOTE: My buddy Ryan was an ordained minister who later became a trial lawyer, so that gives credence to the underpinning philosophy of the theory.  

Much like B.C. and A.D., prior to Andrew Wood there was no “Alternative” but after his death we started living in the Alternative age. Grunge, Indie and Nu-Metal, Emo, and Alt-Country were all new gospels that were written in the aftermath of Andrew Wood’s passing... So if Andrew Wood was the Jesus Christ of Grunge, who were his apostles?

Stone Gossard as SIMON/PETER - The rock upon which the Temple of the Dog was built, literally. Stone Gossard is the through line for the Seattle sound and was ever present in its inception. From his time at Green River to Mother Love Bone to Temple of the Dog to Pearl Jam and then Brad, Gossard was the foundation stone. Without Stone Gossard, would there even be grunge? Stone is the rhythm (along with his brother Jeff Ament) from which the music is manifested. Gossard may never have been front and center in all of the bands he formed, but he spoke softly and carried a big axe.

Chris Cornell as JOHN - John was the disciple whom Jesus loved the most. 
Chris was Andrew’s roommate and best friend. When Andrew overdosed, Chris was on a European tour with Soundgarden striking his own Jesus Christ pose. Chris was so grief stricken with the loss that he immediately wrote two songs “Say Hello 2 Heaven” and “Reach Down” about Wood. Chris showed them to Stone and Jeff, and Temple of the Dog was formed to honor their late friend. Chris would later hit mainstream success with Soundgarden and with Audioslave (which was just okay but waaaayyy to mellow for a band composed of members of Rage Against the Machine and Soundgarden).


Jeff Ament as ANDREW (Simon/Peter’s brother) - Ament was right there with Stone in Green River, Mother Love Bone, Temple of the Dog and then Pearl Jam. He’s the bass that pulses the heartbeat of the music. Plus, his graphic design sense provided the classic look and feel of all the liner notes and album packaging for those bands (which along with flannel, long hair, and Doc Martens worn with shorts, were essential cornerstones of the era). Through Ames Bros. Design, Pearl Jam’s visual aesthetic was really set in stone and their tour posters became must-have’s for screen print enthusiasts everywhere. Music never looked so good. Eddie Vedder as JAMES, SON of ALPHAEUS - Some people say that James was literally Jesus’ little brother, while other’s interpret it metaphorically because upon dying Jesus said to James that Mary was now his mother, and James was now her son. Either way, Eddie Veddie was the younger brother of Andrew Wood who then took his mother’s hand and ushered in a new era of grunge. Eddie would tell you that he’s no fucking messiah, which is meant as a testament to the love he had for his brother.


SIDE NOTE: I almost had Eddie as Paul/Saul, not one of the original 12 apostles, but one of the most steadfast and true disciples of Jesus whose writings to the Romans and to the Corinthians would help shape Christian philosophy for many centuries to come. As the lead singer and songwriter of Pearl Jam, you could make a case that Eddie is Paul, but I don’t think he’s gentile enough for that. He’s Eddie Vedder, and that’s an entirely different essay.

Kurt Cobain as SIMON THE CANAANITE or SIMON THE ZEALOT - 
Simon the Zealot was known for strictly keeping the law of Moses (the Ten Commandments) and had great disregard for where he saw people headed. In Jesus, Simon found someone who was practicing what he preached. Simon would go on to evangelize the gospel in much of the west including throughout Egypt and into Africa. Kurt Cobain hated the mainstream and was a zealot when it came to grunge. He spread the word far and high and carried the tradition well. 
 Layne Staley as THADDEUS - Cool name. Cool band. When a jar of flies is kept for too long, the man in a box digs some dirt. Staley of Alice in Chains and Mad Season fame burned out too soon, but man was he cool.

Dave Grohl as MATTHEW/LEVI - Matthew/Levi was the tax collector who gave up his job and life to follow Jesus. He was the author of one of the gospels (Gospel of Matthew). Grohl was a drummer who later gave up that life to lead his own band, the Foo Fighters, who went on to become one of the biggest alternative bands (and David Letterman’s favorite band). 
 Kim Thyll as JAMES (brother of John) - James was John’s brother who followed him along and became an apostle. He had a moment of doubt when Jesus came back to life and doubted that it was really Jesus. Kim followed Chris Cornell into Soundgarden and preached the gospel upon a black hole sun. He later had many doubts when Chris left the band and stored to become a pop singer and then started Audioslave, which was terrible. Eventually, Soundgarden reformed and the word could go on being spread, one music hall, arena or outdoor festival at a time.

Jerry Cantrell as BARTHOLOMEW - Cool name. Cool band. Do the Bart, man! Mark Arm as PHILIP - Philip was an apostle, but he didn’t really matter. He was there at the start and probably did some stuff but you can’t really remember it. That’s kind of like Mark Arm and Mudhoney. He started Green River and recruited Stone Gossard to the band because he only wanted to sing instead of sing and play guitar. Then He formed Mudhoney. They had a moment for a slight minute but most people couldn’t tell them apart from Tad. How’s that for a Judgement Night?


Courtney Love as MARY MAGDALENE - Go listen to Hole’s second record, Live Through This, and you’ll be asking Courtney if you could wash HER feet. From start to finish, that album is all killer and no filler, regardless of wether Kurt Cobain wrote it (allegedly) or not. 


Thurston Moore as JUDAS - Sonic Youth were grunge before grunge was a thing. They ushered in the alt-rock movement and were preaching the gospel way before it was cool. In another world, Thurston Moore would have been John the Baptist, but he blew up the band by betraying Kim Gordon, which caused the inevitable break up of one of the best bands ever. So, yeah. Thurston Moore is Judas.         

Paul Westerberg as JOHN THE BAPTIST - He came first and helped lay the groundwork for the alternative movement. This could have easily gone to Michael Stipe of R.E.M., but The Replacements were much better and spawned a legion of followers. The Mats work in the 80s at Twin Tone and in Minneapolis would help to set up the dynamic that would take place in Seattle with Sub Pop. Westerberg couldn’t hardly wait…

With Pearl Jam having recently been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, now more than ever, we should give thanks and praise to the great Andrew Wood, the Captain Hi-Top, Love Commander (it is right to give him thanks and praise). For he so loved rock and roll and that he was forced to suffer, die and was buried for its sins so that rock could be reborn again. May he rest in peace today, knowing that his words still resonate with the masses.

So come bite the apple, my fellow star dog champions.      

Hide your mom. Control your sister.  Yeah.

Can I get a Hallelujah?

A reading from the Book of Stone

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post has been updated to correct two errors found within the text.

[zacknano17]

Day 5: words 7634 - 10,065

...because I spent 11 hours of Day 4 driving, and I was Very Tired.

In which, Taako makes a Fateful Decision.

The problem with multi-classing as a rogue is that everyone immediately assumes you are suddenly great at sneaking around.  Magnus has spent a good deal of time training with Carey, it's true, but her brand of stealth involves more sleight of hand, dodging attacks, and doing some sweet flips.  And while there are things like smoke bombs and thunder stones, those are conspicuous, so not great when going for the 'not being noticed' thing.

Sneaking around is an art that Magnus has not perfected.  Actually, he hasn't even started learning that bit. Besides, he is in a fairly well lit house-turned-business, in his regular, not all black and shadowy clothing, during the day.  These are all things counterproductive when it comes to the traditional sort of sneaking around.

This is a different kind of sneaking around, he supposes.  This is the kind where you wander around and get as many places as you could before someone asked you what you were doing and you made up some bullshit story about trying to find the toilet and then hoped you rolled well enough on your deception roll to fool them.

Rule 1, he knows, is to look like you're supposed to be there.  Fake it til you make it.  He's going for Fantasy James Bond here, not Fantasy Solid Snake.

They have to wait for a little while before Taako kicks up another fuss, to make it seem realistic. Then, as Merle attempts to 'keep the peace' by quoting scripture, Magnus uses the attention Salvatore has on the dwarf to slide through the room and into one of the other curtained off rooms.

He's a little nervous about it.  They are pretty sure that this woman is using one of the Relics, and he has seen, time and time again, what sort of things these Relics can do to people.  Nothing is tracking here as overly weird so far, but things change quickly.  Still, he would much rather it be him to get into trouble than either Taako or Merle.

His findings are innocuous.  He discovers a meeting room with another desk with two fancy chairs on one side and one on the other, clearly for Rebekah and her clients.  Another room appears to be another sitting room, much like the one he and Taako and Merle had been waiting within.  Yet another seems to be a neatly kept office, bookshelves filled with carefully labeled binders.  He finds a fancy but rather unused kitchen, along with an adjoining dining area.  He comes across a pleasant bathroom.

Nearly all of the rooms hold more pictures on the walls, neatly spaced and with no room for more.  It is clear that all the rooms he has visited are used for various parts of the business, or at least may be seen by patrons.  Everything is neat, with fancy decor and a very cozy feel.  There is absolutely nothing strange or out of place in the entire first floor, except maybe that he doesn't see anyone else, although he isn't sure how many people a wedding planner would really need to employ.

The only thing of interest he finds is a few locked doors.  Judging from the structure of the rooms around the first, Magnus guesses it is a stairwell, which would make sense since the building appears to be at least three stories tall from the outside.  The other goes out from the kitchen area, and his best guess for that is a basement.

He is doing fairly well, he thinks.  In spite of not finding anything of interest, he also hasn't gotten caught.  He is still cheerfully patting himself on the back at the thought when that changes.

It happens while he's just about to head back to the sitting room, after monkeying with the door he believes to lead to the upstairs and wishing he had thought to borrow Taako's Hole Thrower.  An elven man with light brown skin and dark hair walks around the corner and pauses, clearly as surprised to see Magnus as Magnus is to see him. The elf is very lovely in that sort of ethereal, elf-y way, and just for a split second, Magnus mistakes him for Taako.

“Um,” says Magnus, articulately.

“Are you lost?” the elf asks.  He sounds...disinterested in whatever Magnus is up to.

“Yeah, er, I was looking for the john,” Magnus says.

“You just passed it,” the elf says, jerking a thumb back over his shoulder.  “Second door on the right.”

“Thanks,” Magnus says, and slides past him.  Aw, yeah.  Saved by the fake bathroom excuse.

The elf pulls a key out of his pocket and slides it into the lock on the door.  As Magnus is searching for the toilet, he glances back and sees that his inclination was correct.  He can see stairs through the open door.  Then the elf disappears up the stairs and he hears the click of the door being locked again.

When he makes his way back to the front room, Taako and Merle aren't there anymore.  There is only one slightly ruffled Salvatore, sitting at his desk and pressing his pen to his paper so hard that he is nearly snapping the tip off.  Magnus isn't going to ask.  He isn't going to say anything, in fact.  He just slips into the sitting room again, while Salvatore is destroying that poor pen.

Within the sitting room, Merle is paging through a magazine, looking exceptionally bored.  Taako is nowhere to be found.

“Where's Taako?” Magnus asks.

Merle looks up, and the expression on his face is nothing short of mirthful.  “He's in there, talkin' to Rebekah Whatever-Her-Name-Is,” he explains cheerfully.  “And you'll never believe what happened.”

This entire section is not really very good and I'm going to come back to it later and fix it.

Taako has seen Merle attempt evangelism before.  He had been preaching the Good Word the first time Taako had ever met him, or attempting to. He has done it on other occasions too, but only to serve as a distraction for Taako and Magnus, generally.  He has never tried to read the Bible to either of his companions.  He has never tried to convert or inform either one of them.  If he hadn't had access to his divine powers, Taako would doubt the dwarf's conviction entirely.

The thing of it is, Merle is an extremely good evangelist, and Taako has just never gotten the chance to observe this.  Salvatore, in his infinite polite patience, has not only allowed Merle to break up the argument Taako had gotten into with him, but has not interrupted Merle's subsequent evangelizing.  And Merle is actually pretty good about it.  Some religions get into converting people to their Gods, but Merle is talking to inform.  Taako has learned more about Dan in the past ten minutes than he had learned in his entire life.

For instance, Dan's name is actually Pan.

He might have known that already.  He doesn't really care enough to remember.

“...and so that's why, in the presence and all encompassing love of Pan, you should both sit down and apologize to each other or this whole disagreement,” Merle finishes with a flourish.

“Not to be dramatic, but I'd rather die,” Taako replies.

“Do you even know how not to be dramatic?” Merle asks.

Taako huffs.  He is sitting on the edge of Salvatore's desk, his butt shoving back a few stacks of papers and generally disorganizing the entire area.  He isn't certain he is irritating Salvatore, but he's sure trying.  And not only because Magnus is still gone.

The front door opens before Salvatore can react, and in walks a halfling woman.  She has long, auburn hair and light brown eyes that compliment her reddish tan skin, and she is wearing a lovely green dress.

Salvatore stands up immediately upon seeing her.  “Welcome back, madam,” he says.

“Oh! I didn't realize we had guests,” she replies, glancing and Merle and Taako.  “Don't tell me I forgot I had an appointment, did I?”

“No, madam.  They're walk-ins.  The elf seems quite sure you'll want to talk to him.”

Taako stands up off the desk.  He examines the woman and notices, belatedly, the gold chain leading to the breast pocket of her dress. Clearly, this was Rebekah Joiner herself, and that chain may just contain the Oculus.  Beside him, he notices Merle perk up too.

“So you're the boss lady herself, huh?  The local matrimonial mastermind, as rumor would have it,” Taako says, pleased by this development.

“Aren't you a flatterer?” she chuckles.  “I suppose I am the boss lady, though.  Rebekah Joiner.  It's a pleasure to meet you.”  She holds out a hand toward him.

He shakes it.  “I'm Taako.  You may have seen me?  On TV?  That's me, the one and only.”

“You do look quite familiar, Taako,” she replies, nodding.

He feels a single drop of sweat roll down his spine.  Recognition in this town is probably not a great thing, but she doesn't look like she's about to call down the local militia on him.  She's probably just being polite.  Sizzle It Up With Taako is a thing long in the past, and even longer ago since he had performed here.

“And your companion?” she asks, turning toward Merle.

“Merle Highchurch,” Merle puts forth.  “And we ain't here to get hitched.  Trust me.”

“Fuck, no,” Taako agrees.

Salvatore, who is still standing behind his desk, interjects.  “From what I understand, Sir Taako is looking for some sort of partnership between his company and yours.”

Rebekah cocks her head to the side, looking slightly disappointed.  “Oh...is that so?  I'm afraid we're not exactly looking to expand at the moment,” she says.

No! He's so close!  He can almost see the monocle in her pocket!  “Well,” he continues, hoping his bluff game is on point today.  “That was...part of it.  I'll be real with you, my dude, I didn't think I'd get a meeting with you on such short notice if I didn't, well, flaunt my assets a little, if you know what I mean.  Stretch that celebrity influence a little.  Not that I wouldn't be so down for a partnership, mind you.”

Rebekah claps her hands together.  “I knew it!  I can smell a groom-to-be from miles away,” she says cheerily.  “You wouldn't have brought your pastor with you otherwise, would you have?”  She gestures at Merle's Bible with one hand.  “Wonderful.  Why don't you come with me into a meeting room? Salvatore, please push back any of my appointments until Taako and I are finished.”

Salvatore almost loses his composure, and that flash of outright fury that dances in his eyes for a split second is more than enough to make this entire encounter worth it.  “Of course, madam,” he says, and sits down.

Okay. Okay.  So Rebekah thinks he is getting married.  That's...doable, he supposes.  That definitely gives him an in with the lady in case this doesn't work on the first try, which it won't because he has shitty luck.  He twirls the umbra staff in his hand and gives Salvatore the slimiest smile he can manage.  “Salvatore, darling, won't you let Mags know I'm off with Reeb here when he gets back from the washroom?” he asks sweetly.

“Mags?” Rebekah asks.  “So that's the Mr. Taako-to-be?”

Taako almost loses his composure at the thought.  He has had absolutely no thought as to what Magnus' role in this deception would be.  And now, caught in the moment, he cannot think of literally anything else.  Besides, who is going to be the other groom if not Magnus?  It isn't like he can just conjure his dream man out of thin air.  He'd probably need the Oculus for that.

Fuck. Magnus is going to kill him.

On the other hand, it's going to be the sweetest possible revenge for that thing in the wagon earlier.

“You got it, babe,” he says, and he can't help but be a little bit amused by the way Merle's eyes sort of bug out from his head when he says it.  “Magnus Burnsides, also known as Mr. Taako.”

“Fantastic! And congratulations!” Rebekah chirps happily as she leads him beyond another curtain, into a much smaller room that appears to be an office of sorts.  It's mostly empty of furniture, but for the desk with two chairs facing it.  If Taako had to wager a guess based on context clues, he would say a consultation room.

She pulls out one chair for him and then sits in her seat on the other side of the desk.  “Thank you, Reebo,” he says airily as he sits down, crossing his legs and folding his hands on his knee.

“Of course!  Goodness!  It isn't every day I get to help plan a celebrity wedding,” she says.

He actually relaxes minutely at that.  He knows he is blowing his own popularity out of proportion, so it's quite likely she's just humoring him in an attempt to flatter him.  He smiles benevolently at her.  “Now, you understand -- we're keeping this under wraps for now.  Tightly sealed,” he explains.  “If word of this got out too early, well, it'd be a mess. You understand.”

“Naturally, yes,” she agrees.  “Don't worry.  You'll have perfect radio silence on my end.”

“Fantastic. I really don't want to get fantasy lawyers involved with the paperwork, you know?  So I'll take your word for that.”

“That's very kind of you.  Now.  You said Magnus is here, right?  When do I get to meet him?”

He really doesn't want her to meet Magnus before he's had a chance to go over their cover story together, but beggars can't be choosers.  “Uh, well, he's real shy,” Taako explains, a little awkwardly.  “He is here, but...he went to the washroom and I haven't seen him since, so he might be.  Hiding.”

“...hiding?”

“He's -- real shy.  About strangers.”

This is the worst lie Taako has ever told.

“No, that isn't true,” he adds quickly.  “It's just -- it's just. He's.  Well.  We're not going public with the wedding plans right away.  We don't even have a date set.  If someone saw him with me...especially here. So he, uh, went to the washroom.”

“...and he stayed there?” she asks, still seeming confused.

“Yes. No?  I don't honestly know where he is right now.”

“Ooookay. Well.  Whatever!  I'll meet him soon enough, I suppose.  Now.  Taako.  I know you're in the early stages of planning, but I'm guessing a fashion forward elf like you already has some ideas, yes?”

[ramrodd]

Is it possible Christine Blasey Ford is just misremembering, or embellishing her memory of the incident with Brett Kavanaugh?

Kavanaugh’s diary corroborates Ford’s description of her struggle to escape being raped.

COMMENTARY:

There is little question in my mind that Ford’s complaint is righteous. I’ve had experience with boys like him from Virginia and Maryland coming into the bars in DC as a bartender, father of a daughter who was essentially in the same priviledged private school culture of DC. Kavanaugh’s attitudes and behaviors are so typical as to be Archetypical: think “Animal House” with Ron Jeremy as the resident permanent student. The boundaries of “rape” are very fuzzy in that culture for males and their wives and virtually non-existent for the country-club corporate careerists, the good, hard working, white boys and varsity atheletes who like beer. It’s like King David’s rebuke of Michal for ruining his buzz and scolding him for undercutting her authority in the harem and introducing the disorder that resulted in all his family’s heir being devoured by the sword and Uriah’s wife, a warrior’s consort, to provide the line from Abraham to David and produce the heir leading to Jesus.

Right now, the religious right is preaching on David, a Man after God’s own heart. This is the Solo Scriptura crowd that the Bible means exactly what they say it says. It is obvious that the collective wisdom is that Michal was asking for it. If you want to understand the basis of Kavanaugh’s defense as unassailable, understand how David fucked Michal for being uppity that led almost directly to the rebuke of Nathan regarding Bathsheba. And, to understand the Biblical context of this interpretation is the Abraham driving Hagar into the desert at Sarah’s command for Hagar’s disruptive behavior arising from Abraham’s vanity.

David’s behavior was part of an Animal House caravan bringing the Arc of the Covenant to Jerusalem and David was doing his John Belushi version of Ron Jeremy coming up the hill to Jerusalem, swinging his dick around beneath the skirt he was wearing, commando style, showing all Michal’s handmaids what a Louisville Slugger was all about.

And Michal called him on it and it killed his buzz and began all this shit about humiliating himself for the Lord and all the same shit we heard from Kavanaugh and he’s on the Supreme Court for the same reason why Pro-Life Creationist Evangelicals cannot make the leap from Nathan’s rebuke to David’s exhile of Michal as basically a temper tantrum, like pulling the plug on Christmas.

That’s a long way of saying there is no doubt in my mind Ford is accurately descrbing the assault on her person with all the texture of a Criminal Minds reconstruction and Kavanaugh’s diary is corroboration. He was just having fun with his buddies, no big deal, with a volunteer from the audience to add to the fun.

She was being gang-raped.

Now, I’ve been in situations where a single woman is having sex with a lot of men on her birthday, where “blowing out the candles” was the theme of the dinner party on her invitations. Looking back, there are women who could, plausibly, accuse me of rape, so I am not without sin. But violence did not turn me on. I could get into spanking but it was never my idea. I mean, when they give you a ping-pong paddle and settle across your lap, it would be rude not to play along.

But that was with consent and everyone agreed it was fun. That’s not what happened to Ford. I mean, the important thing to understand from her description, but she never panicked: she knew she was in trouble and she began to do some very serious needs assessment and problem solving; she stopped resisting enough to prevent him from inadvertently killing her, very good martial arts technique: she began to work with his strength at the same time she tried to enlist an ally because she names someone Kavanaugh names in his diary after a night of good, clean fun.

The way you know she is telling the truth is her description of Kavanaugh and his buddies stumbling down the stairs, yucking it up, good buddies, just having a good time. It is right there in his diary in his own words.

Nobody knew about his diary until he volunteered it. And this guy is considered comptetent to sit on the Supreme Court.

[rhaegnarokmidwinter]

The Holy Trinity (or “I don’t fucking get football”)

Backstory: So I caved in and I joined twitter. I have followed all of one person so far (because im a lazy excuse of a human being, sue me) and their retweets have reminded me forcibly of a thing I don’t usually discuss on pain of death or disbelief, football. Strap in and hit the concession stand chucklefucks we’re gonna be here for awhile.

I don't understand football to the point where I’ve all but given up trying to understand it. I merely accept that it exists, and is beyond my comprehension. I am not meant to understand. It is simply safer this way. (more on that later). Other sports I do not have problems with.

Volleyball? Understandable. Basketball? Also understandable. Baseball? A cakewalk. Lacrosse? Complicated, but also a Great White Canadian thing that all of us have been subjected to through one Phys Ed class or another. 

Hockey? Yes, I understand and can follow hockey, I live in fucking Canada so I grew up playing seeing hearing about and occasionally watching hockey -- I simply choose not to follow it like the omniscient word of the Gods is being bellowed Burning Bush-style out of the Stanley Cup (exceptions are made for the Winter Olympics because fuck you we get one thing we’re really good at like the rest of you countries) American football? I have a friend who supports the Packers, and she willingly accepts I don’t understand a goddamn thing about a sport whose ball never touches the ground, and has the cojones to call itself FOOTball. And she’s okay with that because after 18+ years of friendship, there’s some shit you just gotta accept and move on.

Here’s the thing about football though. What other countries (America, most of Canada, etc) call “soccer”, the rest of the Colonized World calls Football. When I first began speaking to humans from Across the Pond, I was met with the kind of shock only accidental blasphemers experience upon taking the name of God in vain next to a fanatical Evangelical. First rule of Football: Do not ever call it “soccer”. If in doubt, always say football. If speaking to an American, apologise like the goddamn colonial piece of shit you are and say “Sorry I meant American Football” because god help you don’t offend two fucking kinds of fans in one breath you moron.

Quickly I learned from my mistakes and I was able to condition myself to follow the above rule so by the time that World Cup season rolled around this year, I was absolutely not prepared in the slightest who am I even fucking kidding.The past 5-6 years of interacting with (mostly) English football fans had only taught me a few things, and absolutely dick-all about the game itself. For instance, I did not know that there is a whole fucking subculture bigger than Canadian Hockey and American football combined, circulating globally around this game. North America really exists in its own goddamn bubble for this one, because outside of World Cup season, most of us have no idea just how gargantuan this sport really is. They are not kidding when they describe Football as a religion. It borderline kinda-sorta-fucking is. I also did not know that you can’t just choose a team to support if you haven’t up until now spent your life worshipping at the field.

To choose a team, means taking on the responsibility of whether winning or losing, being the fandom equivalent of a ride or die. You are taking on the history, the colours, the goddamn baggage of that team. If your newly picked team has a rivalry with another team, congratulations you have just been drafted in an annually-renewing banter war that you didn’t sign up for! From what I understand, hopping from supporting one team to the next Across The Pond, is a frownable taboo. People can spend their whole lives supporting a team that their best friend will think is absolute shit. And they’ll still be friends, of course, but expect the sarcastic tweets to amp up between them when the season kicks off. Oh and don’t think if you’re not part of that rivalry that you’re exempt from it. Case in point, I have a friend who supports Arsenal who shall henceforth be referred to as Red and I have another friend who supports a Blue team whose name I cant remember. (I’m so fucking sorry I can feel your disapproval friend). I know another guy who supports Manchester but he’s not relevant to the story. Red and Blue, I swear to you from the entirety I have known them, have always bigged up their own team to each other to the point where I can’t tell where the venom ends and banter begins. Blue has insisted upon me the gospel that “Red is shit”. Red has however, preached the exact opposite. Me, gazing upon the entirety of England and seeing as many football teams as there are variants of the British Accent, simply smile and nod because its not just religion, its politics now too, there is in fact a Right Answer and it will often change depending on who you speak to. The simplest answer is to shove yourself in the penalty box preemptively in order to both escape, and avoid starting a fucking brawl.

World Cup however, is a bit more lenient than the religion practised in Europe. ‘Cause while Canada did not and really does not have an international team, Canada is a multicultural orgy of fun, so if you have the slightest bit of ancestry in a country with a team, good job, you can now passively cheer on a set of players toward international bragging rights! Huzzah! This is how toward the end of the World Cup, I found myself somewhat swept up in Englands Eternal Optimism. You know exactly what I’m taking about. It was around this time I started to realize just how fucking much this means to people. Like, it’s a big fucking deal. And like many, I grew curious. I watched videos. I tried to educate myself. And yet, it still makes No Sense whatsoever to me. I got swept up in the hype, and I don’t know why. Perhaps a void created by the disinterest hockey gives me, after a lifetime of exposure to sticks and pucks? I do not know. All I know is this summer I felt both the Ghost of Disappointment, and the Spectre of Intrigue. And it still fucks me up.

And I still don’t “get” football.

[dumbassholesopinion-blog]

Mosque #1 Review

Intro: I am interested in exploring different religious cultures. I am irreligious myself, but I grew up Catholic. I did the whole church, communion, etc. etc. When I was in high school I grew out of religious beliefs, but I never lost interest in the cultural phenomena known as religion. I am currently on a quest to visit as many different religious organizations and services as possible so I can become more intimately connected to the practices and the people that practice them. That may be a bit voyeuristic of me, and perhaps during my religious journeys some may take offense to my interest in their religion as more of an anthropological/sociological curiosity rather than trying to find any deep meaning or connection to their spiritual beliefs. However I would like to think if someone unfamiliar with my culture wanted to follow me around and ask probing and naive questions about my belief systems, I would be more than open to accommodate them. -------------------------------------

Facility Experience: -------------------------------------

In short: Great experience! Maybe I will go again!

I first stopped by in the afternoon to inquire about any services that they offer. It was empty. Someone walked in and I asked them when their services are. It seems my previous religious experiences have corrupted my view of what all other religious experiences may be, because I had no idea that the "services" at mosques are a bit different than Catholic ones. I assumed that there would be one or two hour long sessions where the Imam would talk and pray about various parts of the Quran. I was wrong, as the man I asked did not even understand what I meant by "services" at first! However, he was very open to answering all of my questions regarding potential times I could visit to learn and experience the religion.

I ended up going, unknowingly,  on Ramadan (though considering the importance of Ramadan, I feel I should have known that it was this month) - something I both regret and am very happy about. I felt more out of place than perhaps I would have due to the sheer number of people and how serious they took Ramadan compared to me, but I also felt that this was an excellent day to dive right into the culture and religion.

I arrived a little after 8. From here on out I am going to talk about what I experienced at this mosque in particular. Based on my knowledge and what I was told there, it seems as if this is typical for many other Muslim institutions as well, but I do not no for sure.

They were setting up food to break their fast for Ramadan. Immediately when I walked in I was greeted by somebody, who was more than happy to both explain what was happening and show me around the facility. This was typical of my time here. I did not feel unwelcome at all, something I was nervous about considering my lack of religious inclinations and the fact that I never experienced this religious culture before. Not everybody was coming directly up to me offering me food and showing me around as my guide did, but I was frequently greeted by friendly faces and a willingness and eagerness to discuss life and religion.

Religious Experience: ---------------------------------

At 8:30 prayer services started, which is what I found most interesting. According to the people I talked to there are five of these a day, and the last one can last a bit longer especially if one chooses to independently pray in the space provided. I was told that it was five times a day to remind the devout where they came from and who created them. As in, they take some time out of their busy life to remind themselves of their spirituality. That is incredibly impressive commitment, aside from their already month long commitment to fasting every day.

For now I only have Catholic services to compare it to, so I will do that. It is much shorter. Around 10 minutes. However I found the spiritual experience to be much more satisfying. I could not understand what the Imam was saying, but I enjoyed the chanting/song-ish way that the prayers were being led. I also liked how everyone was much closer together, and I liked the movements (standing, kneeling, face down on the floor). It was an "experience" much more than a "service." I can see how if I participated in that religion I would find the experience very cathartic. It felt more like meditation, where as Catholic services felt more like listening to a speaker.   

Cultural Analysis: --------------------------------

As for their cultural practices themselves, I have some disagreements. First and foremost, they separate the men and the women. I understand that this is not unique to the religion of Islam, and perhaps may not even happen in other Mosques. However it did happen in this one and I was perturbed.

My friend, a woman, also “joined” me at first. She stated that her prayer experience was very similar, however she had to listen to the Imam through a speaker in a separate room. Likewise, during the Ramadan fasting break, the men had a very large space outdoors to eat, and they could also choose to eat inside. Women did not have an outdoor option.  I disagree with this separation on a fundamental level. I feel as if this norm is still practiced due to tradition, and I feel the longer time goes on the more uncomfortable this practice becomes. Should women really be separate from men? I would argue that this practice is due to sexism more than any other reason.

Also, during my discussions with various patrons of this Mosque I did feel quite uncomfortable when the religious overtones of what was being said became too extreme for my tastes. I love arguing about religion and discussing religion, but at points I felt I was being preached to.

One patron frequently discussed the greatness of God and how we must all worship him due to his greatness (not in those exact words), much like how I would assume the stereotypical evangelical would discuss God. This patron would, from my point of view, force this reverential speak of God in just about everything that he said. I do not fault him for this. This was 1) Ramadan, a particularly holy Holiday so someone being overly spiritual and/or proselytizing was not surprising and 2) I was clearly an outsider looking in. This patron most likely felt it appropriate to discuss God in these terms with me because he was looking to show me how he expresses his religion. I respect that and I loved hearing his point of view, despite how uncomfortable it made me at times.

However I was told one thing by a patron that not only made me uncomfortable due to its overly religious nature, but uncomfortable because I am ideologically opposed to this way of thinking. This patron discussed how this life on Earth is temporary, and how the afterlife is “Paradise” that would last forever. This patron also discussed judgement day. I have many issues with this line of thinking. I am aware that Islam is not the only religion that views existence this way, and I am aware that this view of existence is somewhat more extreme than how many moderately religious people view existence. 

In my view it is not only a very cynical view of life on Earth, but a dangerous one. By subscribing to this viewpoint you are not only denying the potentially amazing things one can experience in life on Earth, but you are devaluing life on Earth itself. There are MANY people who view life on Earth as the one and only experience of existence they are getting, and I am one of them. I find no reason to believe in any kind of paradise afterlife or any afterlife. I feel denying oneself the pleasures of reality because the God you believe in or the afterlife you chase is misguided at best and ignorant or dangerous at worst. This way of viewing existence does not jive at all with the way I view existence, therefore hearing somebody discuss it as a literal phenomena was disturbing.

The way people discussed Ramadan was both uncomfortable and heartwarming. Based on my understanding of it after my experience here, Ramandan is about testing your willpower and becoming closer to your spirituality and God. Essentially if you can be a good person while you’re hungry as fuck, you will be able to be a good person most of the rest of the time too. Ramadan fasting instills a sense of humility in the people that practice it, and as one patron said to me it helps others understand that “we are all the same.” That no one person is better than any other person. I wholeheartedly agree with that ideology! I just feel that one does not need a religious reasoning to pursue these enlightenments.

Now for the prayer services: like I stated earlier I feel if I was a Muslim or if I cared about being spiritual, these prayer services would very beneficial. But I am not, so I found these prayer services to be very strange. For one, your head needed to be down the whole time, and we kept getting lower and lower. I understand the reasoning. If you believe that God is all powerful, all good, all knowing, all loving, and he created you and everything you love, you want to show respect to him. From my perspective this prayer service felt as they were providing deference to God by demeaning themselves. Again, this service seemed to devalue human life on Earth and human existence. I do not personally believe in any god or gods, so when people are this committed to feeling “less than” a higher power it disturbs me. I would much prefer a meditative experience that focused on reality. However, to many devout Muslims this is reality. So who am I to judge? (I’m going to anyway).

I would like to put a disclaimer here. At no point in time did I express any of these negative feelings or ideological disagreements with any of the patrons at this Mosque. As much as I fundamentally disagree with all religion, I am also not going to these institutions to cause trouble. I am there to learn and to experience, whether I agree or disagree with the way they do things or view the world. If I was asked for my feelings regarding a specific ideology or practice I would have expressed them, but I was not. If I continue to participate in this particular Mosque and get to know the regular patrons better, maybe I would feel comfortable expressing my beliefs. But I would feel it to be massively inappropriate to proselytizing my own beliefs when I am exploring a religious facility.

Some good things! Despite my disagreements with many of their traditional services, the people I talked to espoused very humanistic and agreeable ideologies. Almost everyone I talked to, including the ones who also espoused parts of their ideology that I did disagree with, discussed how Islam is an inclusive, welcoming religion whose ultimate goal is to help others. As one convert told me, he was attracted to Islam because according to the Quran “it’s not that you should help poor people, but you MUST help poor people.”

Religious experiences are very subjective, and you can pick and choose just about every possible ideological viewpoint from the Quran as well as every other holy book. I was happy with my experience at this Mosque and hope to continue to learn and experience different cultures, communities, and religious beliefs in the future.

[automatismoateo]

My boxing coach sent me this at one in the fucking morning... via /r/atheism

Submitted September 22, 2017 at 09:10AM by zvonize_ (Via reddit http://ift.tt/2ytTrfF) My boxing coach sent me this at one in the fucking morning...

“Rapture will take place any time from now. Everything hindering the rapture has been removed. Gospel has been preached almost everywhere. All the prophecies have been fulfilled. Angels physically seen and captured on camera @ Dansoman also gives a 'sign'. The devil is working very hard to occupy Christians with the things of this world so that the day will catch them unawares. Please be prepared. There is no more time, Use the advantage of this free sms to send this message to at least all ur contacts. Do not ignore. This is also a source of evangelism. Souls are dying. GOD bless you!Let’s Pray Hard: 6 6 6 The Mark of The Beast Prophesy Finally Fulfilled… as Written By: Jonathan Annobil. The US Senate has passed the Obama Health Bill into law. The implementation would commence soon. This bill would require all Americans to be implanted with a Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) chip in order to access medical care. The device will be implanted on the forehead or on the arm. This is to fulfill the prophesy in the Book of Revelation 13: 15-18 concerning the MARK OF THE BEAST. Are you still doubting the END TIME? Do U know that the special car which was made for Obama is known as the BEAST? Get READY. The rapture is near! Revelations 13 is being played out right before us. Many are still unaware. Why is the chip being implanted exactly where the Bible says it would be? Why on the hand and forehead. Why not anywhere else? Why is it being connected to your bank account? Remember the Bible says you won't be able to buy or sell without the mark 6 6 6. And guess what! The chip is connected to your financial details. What breaks my heart the most is that many people in the Church will not make it if JESUS comes now? Many are unaware that the end is near. Don’t tell me that it's advancement in technology or development. If any area of your life is not in sync with GOD’s word, repent and be converted. If you miss heaven you can never miss hell….. think about it. Hell is not a pretty place. The worst part is that it is for eternity… He who has ears, let him hear what the Spirit says to the church. Please rather than post and forward senseless messages. Send this one to everyone you know. Do the work of an Evangelist. PLEASE SHARE THIS MESSAGE WITH ALL YOUR CONTACTS. Have you ever wondered what should have happened if we treat the Holy Bible the way we treat our mobile phone? And we really can’t live without it. Only 7% percent will re-send this message. Don’t be of the 93% who will not share the message. Satan said. “I wonder how humans claim to LOVE GOD and disobey HIM, and claim they hate me yet they obey me” Do not send later. Share and send now. May Almighty GOD grant success to everyone who reads and sends this message. Tomorrow may be too late. Stay blessed.”

This was the type of shit that scared me as a kid. Constant reminders of apocalypse. This is such a fucking grandma message. If God wanted me to love him like he “loves” me, why not just show me a sign. It’s fucking ridiculous.

There’s mention of RFID chips in this post. Remember that shit? Remember when Obama was the anti christ when he passed a HEALTH CARE BILL?! They even mention that in this post. But he was too stupid to read past the first fucking line.

That man has given me some of the best life lessons ever. He’s shaped me into who I am for the most part. But this. This is where I’ve lost all respect for him.

This shit is from like ‘08.