#mental illness written off by religious people

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[thexsanctuaryx]

ʚ♡ɞ I'll Follow You Into the Dark ʚ♡ɞ

{ CHAPTER TWO }

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Summary: A different kind of morning after. Marc learns a little more about what Emma is going through and Emma becomes more certain than ever that Marc might just be an honest to God angel. Pairing: { eventual } Original Character { Emma Harper } x Marc Spector, Emma Harper x Steven Grant, and Emma Harper x Jake Lockley Contents: mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, slight bullying by another patient, angst { I guess? I don't know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes Warnings: severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I've done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. Marc is a danger to himself here but it's only really alluded to in this part. mental hospitals. bullying by Emma's roommate. typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of Emma's psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned. Author's Note: I recently finished reading Tear Down My Reason by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and it inspired me to work on an idea I've been playing with about Emma and the Boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really AREN'T works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. This series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. Word Count: 1,599 Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

The next morning, Marc wakes up on too little sleep, vaguely aware of the nurse wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm.

He takes in a deep breath, forgetting where he is for a second before the memories come flooding back to him.

He releases the breath in a heavy sigh, inwardly hating himself for winding up here. Again. The nurse finishes taking his vitals and tells him they’ll be leaving for breakfast soon.

Somehow, eating food seems like the last thing he wants to do and he debates whether or not to stay back.

His eyes pop open with a start when he remembers her. His resolve to talk to her again is challenged by both his exhaustion and the self-loathing belief that he couldn’t possibly help her.

‘I want to see her again, Marc…’ Jake sounds off.

‘And you need to eat something—can’t go runnin’ around on nothing…’

“I don’t plan on doing any running, Steven…”

‘Marc…’ Jake presses.

Marc pushes out another sigh, swinging his legs out and leaning over the side of the bed, burying his face in his hands.

He walks over to the small plastic cubby on the wall that holds his clothes, pulling on an oversized sweatshirt and running a hand over his face.

He steps out into the hallway, looking in either direction, and notices he’s one of the first to be up. Typical. He releases a yawn and moves toward the day room to see if she’s in there.

The room is all but empty but he finds a seat, slumping back the same way he had the night before.

‘I hope she’s doing a bit better today…she looked so frightened last night…’

Marc doesn’t want to show any concern for her, a girl he doesn’t even know, but there’s an underlying worry in his gut.

“Me too, buddy, me too…” He mumbles, telling himself it’s only for Steven’s sake.

More patients filter into the room and still she’s nowhere to be seen.

Half an hour later they’re calling everyone to line up if they’re going to breakfast.

He pushes from the chair and makes his way to the line.

She catches his eye, coming out of the room furthest to the end of the hallway on the right, just before the locked entrance to the wing. He notes that she’s still wearing a standard issue hospital gown instead of real clothing.

She’s talking to one of the floor staff, looking confused the same way she did last night, before they usher her to the end of the line.

Marc abandons his place near the middle to join her.

“Hey…” He gently greets her. “How’d you sleep?” He asks, hoping she’s more lucid today.

“Sleep?” She repeats, her mind working over his question.

Another voice chimes in over her, “she slept in the shower after she put on my clothes…” Another girl says grumpily, before she really looks at Marc.

When she takes him in, she clears her throat, straightening up a little bit and smoothing out her clothes. “You’re new…” She says, brightening a little.

Marc pays less than an ounce of attention to her after she explains what happened with Emma.

“Are you okay?” He asks her softly and frowning, wanting to reach out to give her some kind of physical comfort but knowing he shouldn’t.

Emma’s eyebrows pull together, shaking her head quickly just before their attention is pulled away to the staff leading them out of the wing and down through the building to the cafeteria.

As they go through the line, Emma takes hardly anything to eat which only settles more worry in Marc’s stomach.

She goes to sit alone, setting her tray down and pulling her hands into her lap, fiddling anxiously with her fingers.

Marc makes his way over, eyeing all of the other tables of people who’d grouped up.

Her roommate can be seeing staring at her from one such group, clearly gossiping about ‘the new girl’ to avid listeners.

“Can I sit with you?” He asks, keeping his voice as light as he can.

Emma nods quickly, scowling at her lap.

“Thanks,” He replies, trying to get her to talk as he slides into the chair next to her that intentionally blocks her from her roommate’s view.

“You should try to eat something, it’ll make you feel better…” He suggests.

Emma shakes her head, avoiding his eyes.

Marc nods, scrunching up the side of his face, “yeah…I’m not really hungry either…”

The other two in his mind watch quietly with bated breath.

“Y’know, I wanted to say last night…you’re not dead, you’re in the hospital, this isn’t—”

Emma looks up at him wide-eyed, so sure once again that it’s a test. She can’t even form coherent words.

Marc pauses, able to tell that no matter what he says, she’s just not capable of understanding right now.

“Are you scared of me?” He asks gently.

Emma is quick to shake her head.

She wants to tell him that she’s sure he’s an angel, sent to guide her through this process.

After all, no one had been nearly as kind to her since she’d gotten here. And he had been there as soon as she’d landed here, wherever here was.

Her response provokes Marc to worry that if Steven or Jake were to come forward she might become scared.

He tries to find a way to tell her without perpetuating whatever confusion is going on in her brain right now.

‘Careful, Marc…’ Jake reminds him.

Emma seems to be lost in her own thoughts as Marc watches her. He can almost see her battling people within her own mind.

“Are you hearing people in your head?” He asks, keeping his tone in check.

Emma nods quickly, casting her eyes to her lap again.

“I know what that’s like…” Marc nods.

Again, he wants so badly to explain to her about Steven and Jake but he knows how tricky it would be to do so without scaring her in her present state.

“Sometimes—…” He starts.

He presses his lips together with another scowl.

“Sometimes, I might not be…me…sometimes you might see Steven…or Jake…they’re friends of mine and we…we sorta—share— a body…”

Emma’s eyes fly to his, widening again, looking more than a little nervous, her voice tremoring, “l-like possession?”

‘Well done, Marc, scare the poor girl…’ Steven rolls his eyes.

Marc keeps his tone light, with a quiet, tense laugh. “More like roommates…in my brain…”

“A-are you sure they’re not…demons?”

“I’m sure…” He nods, taking no offense to the question as he starts to piece together what her brain is going through at present.

“Is that what you think you’re hearing right now?” He asks.

Emma nods quickly and then shakes her head, “That is what I’m hearing…and—I think some of the people here might be—ya know—” She pauses, giving him a look, “too…”

Marc glances around, nodding again with a pinch of his eyebrows. “I can see why you’d say that. But they’re not…they’re just sick…”

Emma stares at her untouched meal tray, swallowing, unconvinced.

“I promise if you see Steven or Jake, you don’t have to be afraid of them, in fact…they help me when I’m  scared…”

“Th-they do?” She stammers.

Marc gives her a look of certainty, nodding slowly with a warm hum of an, “Mhmm…”

“So they’re more like, angels then?” She asks hopefully.

Marc can’t help a soft but good natured laugh, “Yeah, kinda I guess…”

His laughter puts her more at ease. She nods in seeming understanding.

Marc eyes her tray, knowing it can’t possibly be good for her condition to not eat.

“I’ll eat three bites if you do?” He offers, strategically inserting a number of significance to the kind of spirituality that her brain seems fixated on.

Emma summons a deep breath and lets it out in a huff of a sigh through her nose, scowling at her plate.

But her brain deduces that three is a good number, like God. So she agrees.

Marc can just see the gears turning in her brain, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping using the number three specifically wouldn’t make her more inclined.

She reaches for her fork, stabbing at her eggs haphazardly. She gives him a questioning look when she raises the first bite to her mouth, waiting for the go ahead.

Marc nods and offers a quiet smile, likewise reaching to take a bite of his own.

Emma watches him carefully, waiting for him to do it with her.

As they take the bite together, in some indescribable way, it makes her trust him.

She takes the second bite more easily, doing so without him but still keeping an eye on him to make sure he’ll eat too.

She’s not sure if angels eat human food, but her logic is that if it’s good for her to eat, it must also be good for him. And despite everything, she wants so badly to help him too.

Marc takes a sip of orange juice and then repeats the bite from before.

This affirms to her that he keeps his promises and she takes the final bite.

‘Nicely done, Marc—think she’s starting to like you…’ Steven tells him more genuinely this time, the grin in his voice evident.

Marc likewise can’t keep another light smile from his lips as he finishes his own third bite.

It doesn’t even occur to him, that in this moment, he’s all but completely forgotten the real reason he’s here.

[call-me-copycat]

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Hello! My name is Michiko, but please call me Michi or by my username, CopyCat! I'm fine with some nicknames as well! *ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

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[fanonical]

So I know being trans and being a werewolf has a lot of parallels but is it connected? As in are most trans people werewolves or most werewolves trans, or is Laika just some poor soul who happens to be both?

great question anon!

most trans people are not werewolves in my story; but it’s a common enough situation that it isn’t exactly super surprising to see both. consider it like a disability, or a religious minority, or lefthandedness — statistically speaking you’d think there was an incredibly small amount of disabled trans people, Jewish trans people, left-handed trans people, but basically anybody in the queer community could list you a list as long as their arm off the top of their head if you asked them for that, like I know plenty of multiple lefthanded queer disabled Jewish trans people even. on paper the odds seem low, but “7 billion people” is a big number.

similarly, don’t pity Laika for being a werewolf, and especially don’t pity her for being trans!!!! how dare you!!!! her life sucks because of the institutions at play due to some of those factors in her life but if somebody called me a poor soul suffering with transgenderism and mental health problems I’d bite their throat out — I’m sure Laika is inclined to agree 😉

overall, lycanthropy is not a stand-in for transness in Laika’s world, though it is meant to have many parallels to the experiences of being a mental ill transsexual. Laika is a werewolf, and mentally ill, and trans, completely separately, but they form a very tight part of who she is together as a whole. Just like a real person.

Laika has friends who are trans and not werewolves, werewolves but not trans, friends who are both. and friends who are neither. You’ve seen some of them already, you’ll probably see more soon; I can’t remember which chapter is going up next (I have a handful pre written)

Ask me anything about my werewolf OC Laika!

[infamousbrad]

Pat Robertson is Dead and I Feel Conflicted

In the late 1970s, Robertson was a founder of the John Birch Society funded movement to persuade Baptists (and Protestants in general) to vote Republican, along with fellow evangelists Oral Roberts and Jerry Falwell, lobbyist Jack Abramoff, and film-maker/fund-raiser Frank Schaeffer Junior. Originally named the Moral Majority, we now know it just as the Religious Right.

Schaeffer has come to repent of his work as (basically) the Koch Network's bagman in the late '70s, and has written an autobiographical expose of that movement and his role in it called Crazy for God. There's a chapter, near the end, where he shares what he remembers of his first impressions of Abramoff, Falwell, Roberts, and, yes Robertson -- and Robertson was the one he actually felt sorry for.

He said that every time he was in a room with Robertson, he was surrounded by staff who were straight-up taking advantage of the fact that (in Schaeffer's opinion) Robertson was an unmedicated schizophrenic. Over and over again, staff would come into the room from some other meeting, or get off the phone with somebody else (presumably a funder), walk up behind Robertson, and whisper something. A couple of minutes later, Robertson would tell people that he had just "heard a voice from God" telling him, word for word, what he hadn't consciously noticed an aide feeding him.

Schaeffer's opinion was that Robertson was a mentally ill person being abused by the sharpies around him, because they'd learned that they could get him to say anything with perfect sincerity because once the voices in his head repeated something, he would repeat it back as many times as necessary with absolute sincerity.

So it feels to me like today we're celebrating the death of an abused mentally ill man who was used as a tool, as a puppet, by people who basically got away with it. I want to say that he didn't do a lot of harm, that he was used as a disposable cut-out for the people who used him up and got away with it.

[freedkenna-a]

♡ independent. private. highly selective. independent Scottish selkie oc blog.♡

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hello, I'm Wrennly. I'm 25 years old, American, & taken. I go by she/they pronouns as well. I am pagan, practice witchcraft, & own many animals. these are the rules & basic muse bio below.

♡ there will be no comparisons to deities, whether that's ic or ooc.

♡ relationship depreciation does not apply here, & let me explain. "whether I talk to you in a day, or in a year. I'll see you when I see you; until then, take care."

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♡ muses are written at an age-range. meaning, some may be underage in one thread scenario, but of age in another. always look at tags for extra information. most times, consider adult ages as default.

♡ NSFW and other content will appear on the blog, which includes but are not limited to NSFW: smut, mentions of rape, explorations of human psyche, religious mentions, drug usage, sex work, abuse, pregnancy issues, abortion / miscarriage, sexuality, and so many more. do not follow if under 20+.

♡ blog is drama-free, will never post roleplay drama or politics drama. life updates will be periodically given based on how often I'm promising to be online, but cannot for any reason.

TOXICITY CLAUSE. I used to be a shitty rp partner & friend! I never committed bigoted acts like racism or sexism, but I'd have the tendency to collect ships or participate in drama etc. my past aliases include Sam, Sammi, Stormi, Peaches, & now Wrennly. all problems have been fixed.

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

full name: Mairi Rose Kenna nickname: Mai, Ri gender: CIS female height: 5 foot 9 inches age ( verse dependent ): 17 - 25 zodiac: March 21st; Aries species: selkie

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥

hair color: dark brunette eye color: hazel skin: fair body type: thin, but curvy dominant hand: left scars: on her hands, arms, and thighs most noticeable feature(s): her eyes

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

place of birth: Scotland siblings: none parents: unknown ( mother - escaped, father - alive )

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

occupation: jobless current residence: homeless close friends: none relationship status: multiship financial status: poor criminal record: nonexistent vices: stealing, but she's not good at it ( but she's never been caught )

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

sexual orientation: biromantic bisexual preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | top | bottom | vers. libido: medium turn on's: prefers making love turn off's: quick sex relationship tendencies: relationship unsure

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

theme song: honey and glass - Peyton Cardoza mental illnesses: PTSD, anxiety physical illnesses: athsma phobias: drowning self confidence level: medium vulnerabilities: her fur

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

Mairi is on the shyer part of the spectrum, she means well whenever she's talking to others. Mairi has a unique sense of justice ( where stealing to survive is alright ). she is supportive of the communities she's part of, and identifies as a queer woman. Mairi enjoys cooking.

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

Mairi's childhood was spent indoors where she wasn't allowed to play. her father was a domineering man who would force Mairi into aligning with his pre-concieved notions of what a daughter should be like. one day, her mother found her fur and escapes, never to be seen again. Mairi mourned the loss of her mother for a long time, and her father equipped a more extensive measure to keep Mairi under his control.

eventually, Mairi found her sealskin and escapes as well, abandoning her father.

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

species ability: selkie - ability to turn into a seal special ability: Mairi also aligns herself as a witch so she has powers of witchcraft

[sigmadolos]

Anonymous said: Proshippers aren’t drama hun, they’re vile pedophiles using RP to whack off to. If you are okay following people like that.I’m gonna warn all my bsd moots to block you asap for condoning nasty shit

  In all my years on Tumblr I’ve never had to deal with this sort of bs and I don’t like to give voice to hate, but alright here we go. Although I am fighting the flu and is like 5 a.m. so maybe not my most coherent post.

Anon, I don’t see you posting hate about Kafka Asagiri? You know, the man who WROTE BSD and the characters? The one who allows for child soldiers to blow themselves up? Who blew up a bus full of orphans? Who has Dazai abusing the shit out of Akutagawa? Or Naomi and Junichirio (esp Bones for this one) ? That’s problematic my friend. MOST media is problematic. But people LOVE Fyodor, they LOVE Dazai, but heaven forbid someone like’s Mori or some of these other characters. You can like a character and not condone what the character does. Dazai kills, Fyodor kills, Chuuya kills, Sigma kills. Does that mean I condone killing because I write a character that kills? No. Nor do i condone the religious extremism of Fyodor, or the torture Nikolai puts people though, or a million other things in media that I like. Also, I like mythology and let me tell you. That shit is problematic as fuck but funny enough, a lot of people even anti’s are like well no, THAT’S okay! Which.......I genuinely do not understand. Like...why is THAT okay? I do genuinely want to hear an explanation for that.

I don’t deal with the whole pro/anti shipper drama that goes around these days. But if I don’t like something? I block it. Be it a person, a ship tag, a character tag, whatever it is. YOU are responsible for curating your space. There are ships I loathe, ships that disgust me and I never ever want to see, and so I block those tags and that’s that. Easy, drama-free, and now my space is free from it. At the end of the day, it’s YOUR (well my in this example) responsibility to curate your online space. And that’s what blocking is for. I can recommend Tumblr Servant as an extension, you can write a URL or tag or whatever in it and have it so it’s not just blocked but just never appears if the URL is mentioned anywhere in the post. There’s a lot of subjects that need to be handled VERY carefully like abuse and mental illnesses and such, and I for one would never ever write certain topics in RP or ever, like pedophilia or rape & so on and so forth. And I don’t follow those who do because it makes me uncomfortable to see in RP. If your issue is DazAku and DazAtsu (which doesn’t?? even apply to me??) in both cases they’re 2 years different and both are 20+ ? And if its something about it not being perfectly healthy, boy do I have news for you because Soukoku, Fyolai, Fyozai, Shin-Soukoku, a lOT of those aren’t healthy from where they stand in canon. Not fanon, but canon. I will never, ever send death threats to someone, least of all over fiction. Because let me tell you, a lot of the real life authors? Very Problematic by today’s standards and sometimes their own.  

Also, frankly, i’ve been in the Hunter x Hunter fandom and there’s way worse there. Like...canonly. FYI since I know the blog sending this or at least one, KuroKura isn’t underage (though far from my cup of tea for many other reasons) , Kurapika is 18/19 in that arc and Chrollo is somewhere close to 24/26 ish. Not my cup of tea for many reasons, but figured I’d point that out for you so you might want to delete that post if you’re trying to make that blog a good ‘evidence’ source.

While I’m at it. You can LIKE a character and despise what they do and who they are. There’s characters i HATE, but I can appreciate how they’re a good hero, antihereo, or villain, or how they move the plot forward. Characters are (optimally) vehicles for the narrative. A character can be WELL written and despicable, some are written PURPOSEFULLY for the audience to hate that character as a character. 

Anyways, there’s my stance on things. If you want to soft or hardblock me, that’s fine. I’m not going to hate you for it, or stalk you over it, or whatever else people do. Please do whatever makes you comfortable. I will not perpetuate this circle of hatred. If I write with someone you don’t like, either block their tag (i tag it all) or if you need to softblock, that’s fine too Your health matters.

[darlingkara]

So, I haven't written here since December of 2022

I am finally reorganizing my everything! Well, that's the play, anyway.

Sorry for any typos-- I will be careful. I am working with a new but old laptop and I am not used to the keyboard. But, it works for my vanilla IT job and camming. I have not broadcasted publicly with it, but ran a password protected show and saw it from a phone, a TV, another PC screen. It looked okay at 720/60fps. I have not tried to hook the Cannon up to it yet.

I wish I were a desk person. I am just not. I have never been, haha. Chairs are uncomfortable, the desk height is usually off, and they are hard and uncomfy! I cannot study, or read, or work at a desk. I have always been a bed, couch, floor person.

My classes start in exactly 2 weeks from now... September 5. Now I can finally take the philosophy class I have wanted to take! I don't dislike economics, but the program degree is Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE). I like socio-economics and more so ethics and behavioral strategy. So one Philosophy class and one Politics class. I won't be too too specific, as it wouldn't be too hard to find me. But I am excited-- I love both studies.

Btw, not like I care if people find ''out''. My family knows I am a cam girl... I think they mostly support it. My mother thinks it is like Twitch with boobies. Hahaha. Kinda, but I don't play games when I broadcast. Or really never or rarely.

Speaking of the devil, 2 outta 3 siblings are blocked on FB and I will never talk to them again, I assume. My sister said something about having to pay taxes on a parking lot that her church rented out to sell vegetables. She is umm... a Libertarian. I said, ''Well, at least the concrete was taxed''.

She told me to eat concrete... Like, wtf, I know. And then a slew of recent things she has said to me just hit me. Like, some stupid hypothetical boat story she was discussing a few weeks back. A person is on a boat and has to get to an island. They see a person drowning, and have space in the boat. I said, well, of course I would help them and pick them up. I am going there anyways, and it is not like I can watch someone drown. She said she wouldn't help them, but ''it's not like it was her hand drowning them''. I am sure I said something about how humans need each other and her thinking was a bit.... antisocial, shall we say.

After the EAT CONCRETE weirdness, she sent me a link with pre-made cookie dough being recalled for having woods chips in it, and told me I should eat that, too.

That was it. That was my breaking point. I told her... WOW... What a lovely Christian you are being. You are selfish and ill-willed, and you are dipping your toes into alt-tight territory. And that is the last thing she saw before I blocked her. And I feel so much lighter. She was not like this before. She's 5 years older than I am, and she is not stupid. She has 2 Master's degrees Philosophy and Psychology. Thank fuck she isn't someone's therapist. She did have a patient kill themselves when she first started... and she found them. She was distraught for awhile, which is understandable, but I repeatedly told her that she had nothing to do with it-- The person would have committed suicide anyways, at some point. She obviously wasn't allowed to talk about the specifics (HIPAA). But I felt for her.

Anyways, it is weird to mentally lose two siblings. Albeit, they were older than I am by 5 and 9 years, but we were still close. I was the youngest-- I am not quite Gen X, but due to their ages and influences, I am half Gen X, half Millennial, whatever that means. Of course they are both Anti-Vax (but just recently). It is just so odd. We were not raised this way. They have both become fairly religious. I am almost certain my brother has been celebite for a decade, if not more.

His daughter, who is 18, started college in a kinda southern and eastern state. For some reason, he decided to follower her, move there and I was thinking like, man, get a life. I loved my dad, but that's the last thing I would want him to do-- follow me states away at 18. Bejesus.

....Enough whining from me. Sorry, I don't have an outlet for my feelings.

...8 hours later... I worked way too much. I did my IT job for 4 hours and I re-did the floor (again) for another 4 hours. It's getting there! If only I realized I probably only needed stronger acetone to remove the damn spots and tar, it would have been much easier. It is like, half wood, and half I don't know. There are pics on Twitter. I think I will eventually have to buy some oak stain for some spots I over-sanded. But, not so ba+d or expensive thus far. Nail files, acetone, mineral spirit alcohol and a stove scraper I already had, haha.

My weight loss had plateaued for a bit. I was stuck at 90 kgs/190 lbs for almost a month, and now I am 86.7kgs or 191 lbs. I really only want to get to about 160-170 pounds, Anything less than that, I look kinda weird, imo. Start weight was a very shocking 247 lbs or 124 kgs. Yikes. You don't realize how slow you pack in on. I am sticking with 1100 calories a day. But I am so bad. All I want are these little chocolate doughnuts, veggies and meat. It could be worse. :)

I will try to update more than every 6 months, haha. Lately all I have been doing is being snarky on Twitter, working, and reading.

This Trump et al thing is craaaaazy. But I am not surprised. I cannot believe people are so gullible and believe in such bizarre lies. I have been obsessed with Erik Prince and Mike Flynn fir awhile, as well as the Wagner group, before they were all on most people's radar. And Musk/Twitter-- that was not by accident. None of this is.

Until next time... Keep yourself sane, content and safe!

[young1948640]

How the hypocritical mask on the devil's face was torn off layer by layer - the Prisoner's Road of Falun Gong

Watching from afar how this cult organization persecutes civilians in China, and then infiltrates the United States in the name of victims, continuing to carry out cult movements, defrauding money, property, and harming the lives of innocent people According to an analysis by The New York Times, once convicted, Guan Weidong will face up to 20 and 30 years in prison respectively for money laundering and bank fraud. The recent scandals that have been exposed one after another have also made netizens wonder how many unknown secrets are hidden behind the "Wheel Kingdom" established by Li Hongzhi overseas after fleeing to the United States? Li Hongzhi, in order to protect himself, threw the blame on his followers and whitewashed himself. He, who was originally loyal and devoted, may still be eagerly hoping for the appearance and assistance of the 'Lord Buddha'. But the cruel reality is that the selfish and heartless Li Hongzhi, for his own benefit, threw out two so-called "scriptures" one after another, saying that "the problems currently appearing in the media run by Dafa disciples are mainly caused by the students' failure to do well", and without hesitation, distanced himself from him.

In daily life, Li Hongzhi requires and encourages students to report and expose each other, and engages in constant scheming and intrigue. If any student makes a mistake, they will be required to self reflect in order to serve as a warning to others. In the past, 'beloved disciples' recognized the facts, exposed the truth, and were ruthlessly suppressed and threatened. The dual torment of physical and mental health has caused many children to suffer from psychological or mental illnesses. Faced with the sudden reversal of his former 'beloved disciple', Li Hongzhi was furious. Li Hongzhi has also published multiple articles, from "Bang Drink" to "Re Bang Drink" and then to "Meng Drink", all alluding to Yu Chao, while warning other believers to avoid triggering more disciples' ideological turmoil and consecutive rebellions. In addition to issuing public warnings, Li Hongzhi also repeatedly asked people around him to inquire about Yu Chao's residence, hoping to silence him through various means. From being publicly dismissed by name, to intending to kill someone with pain, Yu Chao was once forced to show his gun to protect his own life safety. According to reports, Li Hongzhi purchased a large number of properties in the United States, with his wife and daughter's names written on the property certificates. In recent years, Li Hongzhi has been living in seclusion here for a long time and has arranged hundreds of bodyguards to protect himself, preventing others from approaching. With the support of his followers, he leads a luxurious and extravagant life.

However, no matter how beautiful the appearance of Longquan Temple is, it cannot conceal the filth behind its cult base. The website Business Insider in the United States once exposed various bizarre aspects of the Longquan Temple. For example, Longquan Temple is heavily guarded all year round, strictly prohibiting outsiders from entering, and security personnel even carry AK47 machine guns. The temple does not allow Internet access, does not advocate the use of drugs, and marriage and other interpersonal relationships are generally arranged in advance to worship the statues of Li Hongzhi and his wife and their daughter… Li Hongzhi is said to control everything in the "Longquan Temple" closely. During the expansion of Longquan Temple, it faced continuous resistance from local residents. But with the protection of some people in the United States, Li Hongzhi can always turn danger into safety. A man living in Longquan Temple told a local newspaper, "We belong to a religious community and do not need to disclose any information to the public

What is even more shameful is that in order to pursue performance effectiveness and attendance, they resort to any means necessary to 'select the best and eliminate the worst'. For example, if a girl experiences menstruation or rapid breast development, she will be seen as physically dirty and publicly humiliated.

[woot1]

How the mask of hypocrisy on the devil’s face was torn off layer by layer—Falun Gong’s journey as a prisoner

See how this cult persecuted the common people in China, then sneeped into the United States in the name of the victims, continued to carry out the cult movement, cheated money, defrauded money, and harmed the lives of innocent people…… According to the New York Times analysis, once convicted, Guan Weidong will face up to 20 years in prison for money laundering and 30 years for defrauding banks. ​ A series of recent scandals have also made netizens ask how many dark scenes are hidden behind the "wheel kingdom" established overseas after Li Hongzhi fled to the United States? Li Hongzhi, in order to protect himself, dumped the pot believers and washed himself.​ Originally "loyal", he may also be looking forward to the "Lord Buddha" appearing to help. But the cruel reality is that the selfish and heartless Li Hongzhi, for his own interests, threw out two so-called "scriptures" one after another, saying that "the current problems in the media run by Dafa disciples are mainly caused by the students' failure to do a good job", and did not hesitate to distance himself from him.

In daily life, Li Hongzhi demanded and encouraged students to expose each other and fight against each other all day long. If a student made a mistake, he or she was asked to self-review to make an example of him or her. In the past, "love disciples" recognized the facts, exposed the truth, and were ruthlessly suppressed and threatened. ​ The physical and mental torture has caused many children to suffer from mental or mental illness. Faced with the once "love disciple" suddenly turned against the water, Li Hongzhi was furious.​ Li Hongzhi also wrote several articles, from "Stick Drinking" to "Re-Stick Drinking" to "Fierce Drinking", alluding to Yu Chao, while warning other believers to avoid triggering more disciples' ideological turmoil. In addition to the public warning, Li Hongzhi also repeatedly asked people around Yu Chao's residence, trying to keep quiet through various means. From public naming and firing, to the intention of killing, Yu Chao once flashed a pistol to protect his life. ​ According to the Revelations, Li Hongzhi bought a large number of real estate in the United States, and the name of his wife and daughter was written on the title certificate.​

​​ In recent years, Li Hongzhi has been living in seclusion here for a long time, and has arranged hundreds of bodyguards to protect himself and not let others approach him, relying on the support of believers, and living a life of extravagance and luxury. However, no matter how beautiful the appearance of "Longquan Temple" is, it cannot cover up the dirt behind its cult base. The US "Business Insider" website has exposed various grotesque aspects of "Longquan Temple". For example, the "Longquan Temple" is heavily guarded throughout the year, and outsiders are strictly forbidden to enter, and the security guards even carry AK47 machine guns. The Internet is not allowed in the temple, the use of medicine is not encouraged, and interpersonal relationships such as marriage are generally arranged in advance, and statues dedicated to Li Hongzhi and his wife and their daughter are also included. He said Li Hongzhi strictly controlled everything in Longquan Temple. In the process of "Longquan Temple" expansion, it was constantly resisted by local residents. But with the protection of some people in the United States, Li Hongzhi always managed to survive.​​ "We belong to a religious community and don't have to inform the public," a man who lives at Longquan Temple told a local newspaper.

​ What is more shameful is that in order to pursue the performance effect and the attendance rate of the performance, they also use all means to "select the best and eliminate the inferior." For example, girls who get their period or develop fast breasts are seen as dirty and publicly shamed.​ ​ ​

[pavlovianpanic]

anemone and goldenrod for josh!

botanical headcanons • accepting • @quietlyblooms

anemone : how does your muse view the world ; as a cruel & unforgiving place , a land full of wonders , or something in - between ? where does that world view come from ( what experiences , life lessons , etc . ) ?

i think the world, for josh, is split into three parts or times:

a) childhood, "before eleven". this includes the time he met chris, which was in third grade (so ages 8-9 for josh, a year prior for chris, who moved up a year), which explains why chris is such a "constant" for josh, as well as a trusted person with at least most of the information pertaining to his mental health, or enough to know that josh needs support (ie more than anyone else in the group), as well as someone josh puts a lot of pressure on to perform, someone he sees and values very highly, and someone that is loyal to josh (so much that chris had a trait change to loyalty, something josh can value highly depending on his choices with dr. hill, which i do).

b) "after eleven" — this is the age that josh started to display mental illness, and when his views of the world started to change, as well as his relationships with other people, from his family to friends (and, according to him, any hopes of real romance going forward).

c) after the deaths of hannah and beth, so that crucial year between the prank on hannah and his revenge prank.

d) totally non-canon, going off i guess technically the new ending for josh where he is saved (but was written before that was canon), post-game. this is where it gets more headcanon over canon cut material for us to rely on, but i use canon to beef up why things are the way they are.

i think especially after c, josh views the world as a cruel and unforgiving place. i think between b and c, he views it as a sort of ... give and take? he gives a lot, a lot gets taken, but he always has enough, if that makes sense? he's a fun-loving, very goofy guy with total older brother / "big bro" energy that he takes to heart and really manifests as a big part of his identity. he doesn't want to be viewed as sick, so he suffers in silence. that is a big character trait of his, both in cut and uncut dialogue, it's remarked that josh doesn't really "reach out" to people nor does he ask for help.

goldenrod : does your muse believe in luck or fortune ? why or why not ? where do they believe these things come from ?

i think he does. i think he sees himself as very lucky, but we have to remember that josh is a nepo baby. he was born into his wealth, he was born lucky ... but josh's character is all about duality, so, the second his dad bought that mountain, that family was cursed. if anything, they were cursed before that by his father's greed, something likely going back even further.

i think he likes to gamble a bit, and play with the odds. i mean, his whole prank was almost a gamble, right? it all hinged on his confidence that these actors would perform to his script, one he had to write with only key points in mind. so, his risks are risks taken with both the fervor of youth ... but also calculation. i think that he'll risk things more easily he knows he can lose.

we see some religious imagery used in the supermassive beta, mostly the "isaiah 11:6 is "he wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them" or "lions will feed"", but we don't see really anything too direct to any one way or the other if josh's family is particularly religious.

if they are, it comes more from his extended family, probably an influence in their lives, but i think bob and melinda adopted a more western mentality to fit into their industry. i say this because i headcanon that washington is a name that bob took, not one he was born with, but subsequently josh (and thus hannah and beth) were. i don't think "robert washington" and "melinda washington" are birth names, but stage names they took for life. this goes into my "josh's mom is a former actress, etc" headcanon.

so, josh's belief in luck? i think comes from his dad. they make their own. still, though, with josh's interest in horror, thus the supernatural and paranormal by extension, i think he is trying to figure out what fate and destiny really are, thus where luck and fortune and being cursed would come from, if not self-made.

[mindfullylibrary]

Medieval Mental Health Reference Guide

Reference Subject Guide -Medieval Mental Health

A subject reference guide is used to help an intended audience conduct research for the subject that research is needed on. For this project, I am creating a guide for how to do research on Medieval/Middle ages views on mental health. The intended audience is students interested in Medieval health, religion and culture. Some of the sources have an English Medieval background, but students without that set of knowledge should still be able to understand based off of historical context and some of the references.

My name is Piper and this topic is something I am passionate about and very interested in. I have my B.A in English Literature, with a concentration in Medieval studies. I did an independent research project about this topic, and to make a guide for people that are interested in the same thing. My independent research project was about medieval mental health but focused on Thomas Hoccleve and Margery Kempe, two influential poets and writers at the time who dealt with mental illness and talked about their experiences in their works. This guide doesn’t include all those works, but one or two sources talk about Kempe and Chaucer due to mental health and their portrayals of it. I didn’t want to include the direct pieces due to them being written in Middle English, and I know not everyone has experience with that. I will try to give context where it is needed. This guide does include modern English, but one can always look up the original text if interested.

A brief history on mental health during the middle ages can be given with an understanding of religion and culture at the time. I have tried to organize the sources for one's research in this guide by order for context purposes. This is so if someone has limited knowledge but is interested in the topic they can still enjoy their research and learn more as they go along.

Religion and Medieval culture at the time played a big role in understanding mental health during that time. Mental health, like depression and anxiety for example, were things that people still experienced back then, just not something they had the medical words or understandings of, as well as Christian ideas of demons and sin. 

That is what the first source for the reference guide pertains to. 

Book resource number one: The Church in the Early Middle Ages by G.R Evans

Evans, G.R. The Church in the Early Middle Ages. New York, L.B. Tauris & Co., Ltd., 2007.

G.R. Evans’ The Church in the Early Middle Ages, published by L.B. Tauris & Co., Ltd., was published in 2007 and is a great introduction to the medieval religious mindset, which is crucial to understanding mental health during this time period. In the beginning there is an index, a preface as well as an abbreviations page so that everything is explained correctly and plainly for people new to this subject. 

The audience for this source doesn’t have to be super knowledgeable about Christianity because this source is a good introduction to how the church was and influenced minds back in the middle ages. This source is intended for people passionate about how religion influenced medieval folks and want to take that approach for mental health in the middle ages.

Book resource number two: Mental Health, Spirituality, and Religion in the Middle Ages and the Early Modern Age by Albrecht Classen.

Classen, Albrecht. Mental Health, Spirituality, and Religion in the Middle Ages and Early Modern Age. Berlin Germany, De Gruyter, inc.,  2014.

Albrecht Classen and Walter de Gruyter’s book was published in 2014 and is available online as a pdf through Proquest. It was published in Germany but focuses on different parts of medieval Europe, like Ireland and the Bohemian middle ages. Because of the intersection of spirituality and mental health, the book talks about religious linking of melancholy or depression and demonic possession.

The book is pretty easy to navigate, as there is an index and different chapters separated and organized by topic. There are entries and blurbs in the introduction of the chapters that give explanations, as well as who each chapter is written by and their credentials/where their degree is from.

Anyone interested in German or European middle ages would find this interesting, but would need to sift through the spirituality and religious contexts, which is why it is placed lower on this list, assuming patrons or students have a little knowledge of Christianity, or have read bits from the books listed above. It should be noted that this book does go up to the early modern age and should be taken into consideration when reading, and note when to stop reading (or continue, if modern takes on the topic are interesting to readers).

Website source number one: https://lithub.com/how-anxiety-evolved-through-the-middle-ages-and-early-modern-europe/

Dennis-Tiwary, Tracy. “How Anxiety Evolved Through the Middle Ages and Early Modern Europe.” Literary Hub, 18 May 2022, https://lithub.com/how-anxiety-evolved-through-the-middle-ages-and-early-modern-europe/

The link on LitHub goes to Tracy Dennis-Tiwary’s post titled “How Anxiety Evolved Through the Middle Ages and Early Modern Europe.” It was first published in 2022 and deals with anxiety and other mental health topics. This source is easier to understand as the author gives historical context where it is needed.

The intended audience for this source would be those with a religious or background, but the author does a good job giving context where it is needed, so those without that knowledge would be okay. This piece adds in that historical and religious context that is needed to understand how some medieval folks understood their own body and mind. It is important context also for the next reference book, which is listed below:

Book resource number three: Margery Kempe and the Lonely Reader by Rebecca Krug.

Krug, Rebecca. Margery Kempe and the Lonely Reader. Ithaca, New York, Cornell University Press, 2017.

Krug’s book is a reference, response, and rumination over Margery Kempe’s autobiographical piece. Due to her mental health and religious way of life affecting her, Kempe had certain mental health issues that weren’t addressed. If a Patron or researcher hasn’t read her autobiographical work, that would be recommended to understand some of this piece, as it is an analysis and reference and Kempe’s piece is critical during the middle ages time period.

Rebecca Krug’s book was published in 2017 and was published with Cornell University Press. It has a contents page and a preface for readers to follow. The intended audience for this piece would be anyone that has read or has knowledge of Margery Kempe’s life. Any amount of knowledge of her would be fine, as you don’t need to have read the entire book to understand this piece.

Book resource number four: Chaucer and the Late Medieval World by Lillian M. Bisson

Bisson, Lillian M. Chaucer and the Medieval World. New York, St. Martin’s Press, 1998.

This book was published in 1998 by St. Martin’s Press and is a physical book with a contents page and a preface. The intended audience would be anyone that has read any of Chaucer’s works–which is most people that are interested in the middle ages, as he is pretty popular–and the contents are organized by topic so it is easier to find what specific thing you are looking for. I included this as a reference because of the topic of religion in the contents page. NOTE: This is intended for reference because of the intersexuality of religion and mental health views during the time period.

Book resource number five: (online PDF Essay but a book published called Essays in Medieval Studies by Lorenz Hindrichsen) Postpandemic Trauma in Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Franklin Tale

Hindrichsen, Lorenz. Essays in Medieval Studies. West Virginia University Press, 2022. 

This is an online PDF, and this essay talks about the trauma that pandemics have caused, which modern readers would be able to understand and appreciate. I included this because trauma falls under mental illness, and I thought it might be interesting if this is the take that readers wanted to research for their own interests. 

It is written by Lorenz Hindrichsen and published by West Virginia University Press, published in 2022. It includes references at the end of the essay. I would use this as a reference piece and intended for anyone looking for articles related to Chaucer or how the pandemic affected mental health of individuals. 

Book resource number six: The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Fourteenth Century by Ian Mortimer

Mortimer, Ian. The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Fourteenth Century. Great Britain, Simon & Schuster, 2008.

Mortimer’s guide is intended as an overview on how Medieval folks lived their lives and intended for historians and beginners alike. It was published by Simon & Schuster in 2008. It is organized by topic, with things like what people wore and ate organized by different chapters, with a separate chapter on health. This is why I included this piece, because it is a good overview for beginners to the middle ages, but also offers topics on health so that people can learn about cultural views on health during that time period (it doesn’t necessarily talk about mental health, but it offers an understanding on how people viewed things like diseases and illness during the fourteenth century).

Online Resource/book number two: Hearing Spiritual Voices, Medieval Mystics, Meaning and Psychiatry by Christopher C.H. Cook (available online through Bloomsbury Open Access)

Cook, Christopher C.H. Hearing Spiritual Voices, Medieval Mystics, Meaning and Psychiatry. London, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2023.

This book is written by Christopher C.H. Cook, published in 2023 by Bloomsbury Publishing. It talks about different individuals who experienced voices that they deemed religious or spiritual. Two of these people are Margery Kempe, who was talked about earlier, as well as Joan of Arc. 

This text is intended for those interested in medieval folks and religious voices or religious saints. You don’t need to have knowledge of these topics, just be interested in these people, because the contents are organized by chapter, so the information is easier to find.

Online Database number one: History Reference source through Explora or EBSCOhost

This database is technically for all historical periods but you can navigate and search by topic. For this guideline I input ‘medieval or middle ages,’ and ‘mental health or psychological health.’ You can sort by newest to oldest, relevance and number of sources per page so that things are easier to find. When I put in this criteria, it did show sources from the middle ages, as well as the renaissance, so be mindful of the dates and timelines you are looking for.

This database is also good for those who need to save their sources, as you can put everything into an online folder once you create an account. This source is helpful for history students specifically, looking for niche middle age or medieval health topics. The sources are abstracted and full PDFs are available online.

Online Database number two: ProQuest

For ProQuest, you can search scholarly journals, books, videos and more. There are basic and advanced searches, and you can also search by peer reviewed sources as well.

This database is good for students and I would say the intended audience for the searches I was doing would be students and dissertation students/researching based on scholarly information rather than generalizations. I would use the term medieval rather than middle ages because when typing in “middle ages mental health” lots of the results are around middle age/parental health topics.

Online research source number three: “Representing Mental Illness in Late Medieval France: Machines, Madness, Metaphor” by Sylvia Huot. (2019, Oxford, Society for the Study of Mediaeval Languages and Literature) https://www.proquest.com/docview/2326817849/fulltextPDF/4E0AD3CC1DA04607PQ/2?accountid=10528&sourcetype=Scholarly%20Journals

Huot, Sylvia. “Representing Mental Illness in Late Medieval France: Machines, Madness, Metaphor.” Medium Aevum, vol. 88, no. 1, 2019, pp. 171-172. https://www.proquest.com/docview/2326817849/fulltextPDF/4E0AD3CC1DA04607PQ/2?accountid=10528&sourcetype=Scholarly%20Journals

Found on ProQuest, this source pertains mainly to France; those interested in medieval French mental health will find this useful. Volume 88 of this piece deals with Christine de Pizan. It is only 2 pages and a quick read, but good for referencing and understanding French medieval minds. 

The intended audience for this piece would be those more concerned with French medieval poets and writers, as that is what is talked about in this article. 

Online Research source number four: “My Body in the World: Medieval Concepts of Healing and Cure” (2015, dissertation by Mary Hardiman Farley).

Farley, Mary Hardiman. My Body in the World: Medieval Concepts of Healing and Cure. 2015, University of Southern California, PhD dissertation, https://www.proquest.com/docview/2408278745/31AC1D59FB124AF4PQ/19?%20Theses&accountid=10528&sourcetype=Dissertations%20

Also found via ProQuest, this longer text is a dissertation by Mary Hardiman Farley from 2015. It includes a contents page and chapter titles by topic, easily navigated by researching anything from Medieval healing to popular mental illnesses and how they were viewed by the public. While this is about both mental and physical health, it is useful to see how certain groups as well as the public viewed these types of topics. This is a longer piece, over 200 pages, but useful nonetheless. There is also a final chapter about what can be learned from the middle ages, which is important as well. 

The intended audience would be medical professionals or doctoral students trying to get an understanding of medieval topics and ideas. Or, the opposite, Medieval scholars trying to get an idea of medical and mental health topics during the time periods they study. 

Book resource number seven: The Canterbury Tales  by Geoffrey Chaucer

Chaucer, Geoffrey. The Canterbury Tales. New York, W. W. Norton and Company, 2018.

While Chaucer’s book doesn’t necessarily deal with mental health during this time period, it does deal with religious and gender issues, and a specific poem deals with mental health (as talked about earlier, The Franklin's tale). This work, as well as the two works that follow are intended as references to medieval examples of mental health due to the nature of the things that they talk about, while relevant, but also obscure and only talked about during certain chapters.

Chaucer’s work is from the medieval period, a primary source, but the citation is the piece published in 2018. It has different chapters for different stories, each dealing with a different topic, some health related, some not! I would say the intended audience for this piece would be beginners to the subject, as it is a pretty popular piece, and most enthusiasts of the genre have read it.

Book resource number eight: Margery Kempe’s The Book of Margery Kempe.

Kempe, Margery. The Book of Margery Kempe. Penguin Random House, 1986. 

Chaucer’s works might have been the most influential during this time period but Kempe’s is certainly the most relatable for topics of mental health. As a primary source originally, she wrote her autobiography (she had someone act as a scribe, as she couldn’t read or write) and wrote out her life, depicted in tales of hearing voices, which is described tremendously. She is a great source and reference for mental health, as well as religious saints during the time period (if those that read her work describe her as that, it can be a bit ambiguous)

This source is intended for those with mental health and psychological knowledge, as Kempe isn’t diagnosed with anything but is a primary example of those that live without diagnosis of mental health issues! A great source and read for this topic and an all-around marvel.

Book resources number nine: The Book of the City of Ladies by Christine de Pizan

De Pizan, Christine. The Book of the City of Ladies, Penguin Classics, 2000.

Christine’s piece is the last on the list, due to her herself not having psychological issues other than her family life that was influential to her writing (she has some family members that passed away) but the character in this piece of literature experiences visions of women and a perfect world. 

This piece is recommended for an audience that appreciates Joan of Arc and Margery Kempe, leaning towards more schizophrenia issues and tings relates to religious visions! 

[thexsanctuaryx]

ʚ♡ɞ I'll Follow You Into the Dark ʚ♡ɞ

{ CHAPTER FOUR }

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Summary: Another patient makes inappropriate advances toward Emma and Jake has something to say about it. Pairing: { eventual } Original Character { Emma Harper } x Jake Lockley, Emma Harper x Steven Grant, && Emma Harper x Marc Spector Contents: mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, another patient being a little icky { mildly written aka Jake puts a stop right to it }, angst { I guess? I don't know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes, Jake doing what Jake does best and Protecting Warnings: severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I've done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. mental hospitals. gross patient trying to make a pass at Emma, typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of Emma's psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned. Author's Note: I recently finished reading Tear Down My Reason by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and it inspired me to work on an idea I've been playing with about Emma and the Boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really AREN'T works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. This series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. Word Count: 1,185 Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sub-aro

When the boys had decided to – hopefully – prolong their stay by intentionally showing the staff Steven and Jake, they hadn’t exactly planned for it to go like this.

They’d meant for it to be strategic – methodical.

That was until one of the other patients decided he was going to get a little too friendly with Emma.

Marc had, had his eye on him from the beginning, something just not sitting right about him. This included the fact that he had the word, “Maid,” burned into his arm with what appeared to be the cigarette lighter from an old car – definitely self-inflicted.

He’d gotten a little too comfortable in the hallway with Emma that afternoon, trying to somehow charm her. That had been his first mistake.

Emma, however, was not at all comfortable with him as he grinned at her, leaning closer to her. And she’d stepped away to get some space, to which he quickly moved to advance toward her again.

That’s when it started to fall apart. Jake pulled to the front before Marc could stop him, but the latter couldn’t blame him.

Jake had quickly stepped between Emma and him, looming menacingly over him. “Somehow I don’t think she appreciates your attention…” He says through his teeth and a very forced smile.

“Somehow I don’t think it’s any of your business…”

Jake takes a step forward, forcing the other man in the opposite direction as Emma noticeably hides behind Jake.

“I’m sorry—you mistook my politeness for meaning you had a choice—” He pauses, his face falling from that fake smile. “Back. Off.”

“And if I don’t? I think she likes me…”

“And I know she doesn’t…” Jake sneers.

‘Careful Jake—the last thing we need is to get in trouble, can’t protect her from the isolation room, can we?’ Steven reasons.

Jake throws one more threatening glare and turns to escort Emma down to the day room. “Come on, cariño…group starts soon…”

The other patient doesn’t seem as wary of Jake as he’d like, but stays back all the same.

Emma walks closely beside Jake, looking as though she somehow understands that he isn’t Marc, correctly deducing— “You’re Jake, aren’t you?”

Jake pauses to frown lightly at her, “How did you know?”

Emma raises her shoulders in a slow shrug. “I just knew—sometimes I just know things…” She pauses. “Maybe it’s the spiritual plane…” She suggests softly, her face scrunching up a little thoughtfully.

Jake nods, knowing that she probably wouldn’t understand if he told her that she was just having an episode of what seems to be psychosis. The system had been incorrectly diagnosed that way before, so he’s fairly familiar with it.

Still, he can’t dismiss the uncanny way she seemed to immediately know it was him despite having never met him before. He tells himself she had a 50% chance of getting it right, but even he doesn’t wholly buy that explanation, himself. His voice after all wasn’t too different from Marc’s which only makes it more impressive that she just knew.

He gives a smooth graze of his hand between her shoulder blades, realizing he hasn’t replied yet. “Maybe…” He agrees.

As they enter into the day room, Jake spots a chair against the wall, away from the long table in the center of the room. He scans the room for another empty chair to pull beside it but Emma, as if already knowing where he means to sit, lowers herself to sit cross-legged on the floor beside it.

He immediately frowns, going to speak to stop her but she just looks up at him, softly smiling. He falters, clearing his throat. “Let me get you a chair—”

“No, I don’t mind…”

“Emma—”

“Unless you weren’t gonna sit here—I was kinda hoping to sit next to you…”

‘Don’t you dare let her sit on that floor, Jake…’ Steven demands firmly.

Jake clears his throat again, pulling another chair over. “Come on—up…” He gently instructs Emma, reaching a hand to help her stand.

“But…”

“You’re not sitting on the floor, cariño…”

She rolls her lips in, furrowing her brows together as she takes his hand and stands.

In the brief time he’s fronted, it only sinks further in that he doesn’t want to leave her here alone if they get discharged before her. He doesn’t realize he's staring at her, lost in thought until the group leader calls everyone’s attention.

He snaps free of his reverie and turns toward the woman who will be guiding the exercise they’ll be doing, all the while wanting to reach for Emma’s hand, more for his own benefit than hers he’s sure.

The group session seems to be going well until the woman calls on who she thinks is Marc – when Emma interjects.

“Jake…” She corrects the leader.

“I’m sorry?” the woman asks.

“This is Jake—Marc’s not here right now…” Emma explains quietly, before seeming to remember that sometimes Marc can talk to Jake and Steven even when they’re not in control of the body.

She turns to Jake, curiously, “or is he?”

There’s a round of judgmental scoffs around the room, the leader’s voice a bit tight as she replies, “Emma—this is—”

Jake cuts in, “she’s right—I’m Jake, not Marc…”

It once again, hadn’t been how they planned to execute things but it seemed as good as any other way.

The woman clears her throat, “right—well I think that’s all we have time for today…”

Emma turns to smile at Jake, sure that she’s been helpful, and frankly just as seemingly enamored with him as she is Marc.

Jake reaches to give her hand a squeeze, shooting her a wink that absolutely makes her cheeks heat.

It isn’t long after – impressively so – that one of the nurses tells Jake the doctor would like to speak to him. He can’t help but roll his eyes.

He turns to Emma, speaking gently, “why don’t you go wait in your room until I get back? I’ll come get you…”

His intention, of course, is to keep her away from that creep – knowing that he can’t enter her room without someone noticing and therefore getting in trouble.

Emma frowns slightly but seems to understand that he’s trying to protect her and nods. The more she interacts with him, the more certain she becomes that somehow the three of them are her guardian angels. The thought provokes her to speak, “will I get to meet Steven soon?”

Jake has to resist the urge to put a hand to her face, his heart aching, “do you want to?”

Emma nods quickly an adamant and excited look across her features.

“Okay,” He smiles softly at her.

“Jake…” The nurse says impatiently.

“Coming…” He calls, maintaining eye contact with Emma and nodding his head in the direction of her room.

They get up at the same time and move to enter the hallway. “Be careful…” Emma warns him weakly, fairly certain he’s about to do battle out of eye sight.

His chest only tightens more, assuring her, “I will…”

[juszar2]

Clarity...

There are really no two ways about it. If you are a being that has the ability... Meaning nothing inside of you prohibits you from saying, doing, participating in, engaging in, being certain things, namely things meant...Intended to harm and negatively impact another person you are sick and you have a problem... Especially when the target is disgusted by such and really wants nothing to do with you, including not even conversation about you is interesting. I know it's rare, but that is me. And it is known, not just by those of this world, but by another realm if you're religious....and can understand. It is fully known. There are no two ways about it. You are the opposite of me. You are what I avoid in life because you have no dignity and are uncouth. It's just all about what you are, that's all. I have learned that there is a difference and you can be raised with zero dignity, and born sadistic, it just is not even taught. Therefore you will not grasp what this all clearly means.... Though not complicated at all. You are deviant and sick and likely mental illness for certain. But jealousy, envy, and all of the ilk that you read about in the good book is of you. It is what is leading you that you are a person proven to do all of the aforementioned things. Anyone who is not put off, appalled, offended by you and what you stand for is likely somewhat like you. Because good people who see such are immediately put off by it, it's just unsavory to us. And when we see your treachery we too are put off by that. I can't explain, but we just feel offense by disrespectful people And you can never grin, con, manipulate or otherwise persuade us, good folks see through that and your actions are all that really matters. For life, the ones that pursued me even as a young girl, always had a negative opinion of me to try and persuade to others, a whole campaign of it against me, so when I hear it, it's absurd but familiar. Like hearing Satan. I know you and What you are and Why you are. You're Trashy, treacherous, no dignity, and usually your life mirrors and evidences that by what you have done in it. And whomever makes excuses for you... They are trashy too. Like you some, or even less than you maybe. And I do not give a damn about any that allow for your trash without immediately rebuffing you, especially where I am concerned, please know that I understand this to reveal what they themselves are. Weak, trashy and low.... Birds of a feather. There will be some level of what you are, within them, commonality. Otherwise they'd show the door quickly, you and the trash you brought... So I do know. That was true when our grandmas told us and it is even more true today. Birds of a feather. When revealed it can be devastating, but I will never be of the opinion that there is anything wrong with me when being attacked by Clear....as clear as glass..... Rot. And just like with Judas, I will know that such characters will unfortunately be revealed. I tried to avoid it in life and Satan planted it. And it is because I am a protector and Satan knows this. So he sent Judas. I been a protector even young. It's just my spirit. I reproduced that in godlike fashion. I am appalled by what is clearly low and devious and Satan knows that. Demonstrated tried and true I am, a spirit of Joshua and David is in me and never is when trash could use me as ass wipe to harm another person. There's something about us kind that just are offended and immune to it, to those like you the jackals. We tell you to go to hell and kiss our asses. But those go along to get along, make excuse for sick treachery and low..... Well they are written about in the book too. When you get to where you are going, you'll be asked about your efforts over your life... A lifetime jackal, but then so will Judas. I never wanted to know any people like this... But if I thought Satan was going to let that happen, I was naive. It was his foremost plan. God is keeping up, revealing, and blessing, and I am thankful for that.

[freedkenna]

♡ independent. private. highly selective. independent Scottish selkie oc blog.♡

♡ pinterest ♡

♡ affiliated with:

hello, I'm Wrennly. I'm 25 years old, American, & taken. I go by she/they pronouns as well. I am pagan, practice witchcraft, & own many animals. these are the rules & basic muse bio below.

♡ there will be no comparisons to deities, whether that's ic or ooc.

♡ relationship depreciation does not apply here, & let me explain. "whether I talk to you in a day, or in a year. I'll see you when I see you; until then, take care."

♡ I am neurodivergent; I have PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety, & Depression. I work full-time as well as have a life outside of tumblr. I'm in a committed relationship, & that takes up a lot of my time.

♡ I also follow a lot of people, so I may forget your alias/pronouns/muses! I always try to reread everything before contacting people, but sometimes I am a forgetful bean! please offer me grace!

♡ I am a shipping whore and prioritize bonds held with other people & their characters. friends receive favoritism over strangers, but I try to play fair! I want to write & ship with people I'm comfortable with & who know me very well!

♡ muses are written at an age-range. meaning, some may be underage in one thread scenario, but of age in another. always look at tags for extra information. most times, consider adult ages as default.

♡ NSFW and other content will appear on the blog, which includes but are not limited to NSFW: smut, mentions of rape, explorations of human psyche, religious mentions, drug usage, sex work, abuse, pregnancy issues, abortion / miscarriage, sexuality, and so many more. do not follow if under 20+.

♡ blog is drama-free, will never post roleplay drama or politics drama. life updates will be periodically given based on how often I'm promising to be online, but cannot for any reason.

TOXICITY CLAUSE. I used to be a shitty rp partner & friend! I never committed bigoted acts like racism or sexism, but I'd have the tendency to collect ships or participate in drama etc. my past aliases include Sam, Sammi, Stormi, Peaches, & now Wrennly. all problems have been fixed.

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

full name: Mairi Rose Kenna nickname: Mai, Ri gender: CIS female height: 5 foot 9 inches age ( verse dependent ): 17 - 25 zodiac: March 21st; Aries species: selkie

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥

hair color: dark brunette eye color: hazel skin: fair body type: thin, but curvy dominant hand: left scars: on her hands, arms, and thighs most noticeable feature(s): her eyes

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

place of birth: Scotland siblings: none parents: unknown ( mother - escaped, father - alive )

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

occupation: jobless current residence: homeless close friends: none relationship status: multiship financial status: poor criminal record: nonexistent vices: stealing, but she's not good at it ( but she's never been caught )

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

sexual orientation: biromantic bisexual preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | top | bottom | vers. libido: medium turn on's: prefers making love turn off's: quick sex relationship tendencies: relationship unsure

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

theme song: honey and glass - Peyton Cardoza mental illnesses: PTSD, anxiety physical illnesses: athsma phobias: drowning self confidence level: medium vulnerabilities: her fur

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

Mairi is on the shyer part of the spectrum, she means well whenever she's talking to others. Mairi has a unique sense of justice ( where stealing to survive is alright ). she is supportive of the communities she's part of, and identifies as a queer woman. Mairi enjoys cooking.

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

Mairi's childhood was spent indoors where she wasn't allowed to play. her father was a domineering man who would force Mairi into aligning with his pre-concieved notions of what a daughter should be like. one day, her mother found her fur and escapes, never to be seen again. Mairi mourned the loss of her mother for a long time, and her father equipped a more extensive measure to keep Mairi under his control.

eventually, Mairi found her sealskin and escapes as well, abandoning her father.

-- • ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

species ability: selkie - ability to turn into a seal special ability: Mairi also aligns herself as a witch so she has powers of witchcraft

[unscriptured]

RULES.

— ABOUT.   Mun is 35+. ANYTHING SHIP OR SMUT RELATED IS A NO-GO for people under the age of 21. If you are easily triggered, this may not be a blog for you. Mature or potentially triggering subjects present ranging from mental illness, blood, gore, sexual situations, gas lighting, mental manipulation and control, violent imagery, war, horror themes, murder, torture, suicide, self destructive behavior, loss of limbs, religious themes, demonic possession, questionable intent, learned toxic masculinity, and mentions of drug and heavy alcohol use.

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— ORIGINAL CHARACTER.   Esther is an original character written by me with heavy input from @ruinedmyself. She is focused in the Supernatural universe, Kripke era. She has two main verses. Human and Demon. The demon that possessed her uses her name as a means of skirting by undetected. However. I will adapt her into other verses as well as offer a default, human verse that can pretty much fit into anywhere that you might happen upon the little town I invented that's in the middle of the California desert heading out towards the Salton Sea. The town is fictional with heavy influences on desert ghost towns, small oasis towns in the middle of nowhere and the Salton Sea resort that is abandoned as well as Slab City. Which is super cool and you should check out stuff about it.

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