#europe is sooooo soon too

[mita-vittua-olivia]

do y’all remember this. i thought he was drunk and it was not serious. turns out he actually bought a ticket? and we’re going to the cologne gig together? how am i supposed to explain all the lore to him lmao i can’t do thissss. will be an absolute fever dream. i can’t wait.

just convinced my friend to see kä w me? what world do we live in

[audible-smiles]

So, I think I may have accidentally found the worst book ever written by a human being.

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Savitri Devi; she was a Hitler stan who moved from Greece to India, got really excited about "Aryan" racial mythology, changed her name, and tried to fuse Nazism with Hinduism. A lot of her ideology is patently absurd (e.g. Hitler is an avatar of Vishnu), but none of it is funny because she spent her entire life actively trying to build a coalition of the most violently racist people you can imagine. Hindutva paramilitary groups, American neo-Nazis, early ecofascists; you name them, she probably went to their meetings and wrote propaganda for them.

So, knowing this, it makes one feel particularly deranged to learn that she also wrote fiction about- and from the POV of- her many cats.

The book in question is called Long-Whiskers and the Two-Legged Goddess, or The True Story of a "most objectionable Nazi" and half-a-dozen Cats.

Published in 1965, this text features a protagonist named "Heliodora", who Devi admits in the introduction is just her lightly fictionalized self-insert. In the beginning Heliodora heroically rescues a stray kitten and its mother, but then the narrative grinds to a halt to explain the weird racial theories that brought her to India, before it picks right back up with the cat fancying. Here is an excerpt that may convey a little of how jarring these transitions can be:

"An unexpected thought crossed Heliodora’s mind, like a flash of lightning: “Had I gone to Europe in 1939, or even in 1940, 1 should not have had this lovely creature, nor, in fact, any of these cats to which I have given a home. They probably all would have been dead, by now — would have died of misery, in some gutter, without love, poor beautiful felines!” And a strange question followed that thought: “Was it for them that I was fated to remain here?” She knew the thought was a nonsensical one and the question too. For of what account was the life and happiness of any creatures, nay, of any human beings, including her own, compared with the Service of the Aryan Reich and of the Cause of truth?

It is all. Fucking. Like This. There are grim descriptions of feline suffering contrasted with long, ecstatic descriptions of her cats learning to trust the only nice human in the world (her). There are passages on the virtue of vegetarianism and the evils of (especially Kosher) slaughterhouses. She thinks it's a great idea to do medical experiments on criminals rather than animals! She thinks kids who throw rocks at cats should have their hands cut off! She starts chapters with direct quotes from Mein Kampf! When her favorite cat runs away she writes the (fully imaginary) story of his adventures on the streets, including him having cat sex. Here is the cat sex:

"The coquettish she-cat jumped up and ran away, only to stop again some twenty yards further and again to roll in the grass, calling for love, — and again to ran away as soon as the lover was about to take her. At last, however, — after many an unsuccessful leap and further and further galloping in the moonshine, Long- whiskers overcame her faked resistance and possessed her. He forgot himself, and she — his black silky panther — forgot herself. Their individualities ceased for a while to exist, and in him, the eternal He-Cat, Creator and Lord of everything, and in her, the co-eternal, sphinx-like, dark Feline Mother, Lady of all Life, once more mingled their opposite polarities and took consciousness of their double Godhead, as they had been doing for millions and millions of years. And once more the divine spark — the Creative Lightning — flashed through their furry bodies, and the daily miracle took place: there was life in the female’s womb."

Sooooo......anyway...........the lost cat finds its way back to her, but has caught feline distemper and dies in her arms, but then he is REINCARNATED IN ENGLAND, as a kitten in a decent (white) home where his family loves him. Heliodora is coincidentally going back to Europe at this time (she lists her religion as "national socialist" on the travel paperwork), which means we get pages and pages of her obsessing over every 'misstep' in the war, and Germany's tragic loss, but more importantly, she meets a random cat and he is (unknown to her), the reincarnation of her beloved Long-whiskers, the Cat Who Fucked. She sees that he's well-fed and happy and is like "I finally understand why Hitler was so nice to the British; they treat cats well so I guess they're Aryan too". I am not making any of this up:

“They have poured streams of fire over Germany; betrayed their own race; identified themselves with its worst enemies ...”

“Prrr, prrr, prrr,” purred back the cat; “that is because they had been (as they are still being) misled, deceived. But one day they shall wake up from their delusion, tum against their bad shepherds, and help the people of their own blood to build up a new Europe — the very Europe of your dreams, in which we creatures will all be happy — for they are good people at heart; good people like Aryans generally are, taken as a whole. Prrr, prrr, prrr . . . The proof of it is that they have taken such good care of me! Prrrrrrrrr . . .”

This version of her cat grows old and dies. Meanwhile, Heliodora is arrested and imprisoned for distributing Nazi propaganda. When she gets out, she meets the reincarnation of a different cat she had left behind in India. (All of her cats want to find her again after death because they love her so very much.) In between her banal, mundane descriptions of caring for this new cat, she describes her various arrests, interrogations, and brief periods of imprisonment. And then she moves, gives that cat away and gets another fucking cat. It is at this point where I completely lose track of which cat is meant to be the reincarnation of which other cat; this woman goes through cats like potato chips. She says she doesn't even love them as individuals, but as one piece of "the intangible Essence of Catdom", so I guess it doesn't fucking matter whether I know their names or not.

This woman's primary thesis is "human suffering doesn't matter, only animal suffering matters" and she beats it into the ground. Her secondary thesis is that national socialism is the one true religion and will save the world. Not only is this a deeply self-obsessed, morally incoherent, grotesque piece of writing, it is also boring as hell. It's half stories about how people who are mean to animals all deserve to get murdered, and half a travelogue where the protagonist goes on screeds about race-mixing every time she visits a new city. While you're reading it you feel as if time has stopped, and you will be stuck reading this terrible book for the rest of your life. All she knows how to do is repeat her two ideas over and over again. Honestly, it reads like heavy-handed satire of a very specific type of white woman. Heliodora wears golden swastika earrings.

I'm exhausted. Never read this book.

[onlyjaeyun]

anon who said she’d read chapter 3 after the enha concert here!!! once again, the chapter was so good!! i was actually impatient and read it before i started getting ready to go to the concert 😭 yn’s gc with giselle and karina had me deadddd. ALSO jay would talk you through it omggggg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

as for the concert it was AMAZING!!! other than having to rush a little bit to get ready, it was the first concert i’ve been too where everything went smoothly for me. we made it early, got inside super fast as soon as doors opened, got merch fast, and we were able to use the restrooms and eat properly in no rush before the show. even getting home was quick and easy (getting home from nct 127 was an actual mess for me so i have a little bit of trauma) 😭 anyways i think the universe anticipated how much i wanted this so it made sure everything went well.

as for the acc concert, I LUV ENHA SO MUCH ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 our view was right in the middle so we were able to focus on the actual stage too rather than just the big screens and jfc they’re so in sync it amazed me. like even other groups are in sync too but enha’s choreo is so hard and the setlist was so physically demanding it was crazy to me that they’re able to make it seem so easy. THEY WERE SO STABLE TOOOO. enha best performers of 4th gen me thinks!! they’ve really proved their talent since they’ve debuted and i’m so proud!!! sunghoon mentioned some of the members were feeling a little sick cause of all the weather changes 🥺🥺🥺 yet they were all so happy and energetic and cute during their ments 🫶🏽🫶🏽 the production value was also crazy, the coffin shaped screens and stage was so creative tbh even if it’s one little detail. lighting and all went crazy too and made things so fun. you can tell money was put into the tour. i may be biased towards them but definitely my favorite kpop concert so far for sure!! just love enha sm 🥰🥰🥰 i only feel the same way for like two other groups, i’m selective af

as for the members omg HYUNG LINE HAD ME DEADDDD, they’re so fine. as a jay girly i already was screeching everytime he showed up. he just has this attractive aura surrounding him 24/7, oooooh i want him so bad 😫😫 BUT JAKE AND HEESEUNG OOOOOOH. jake was my og enha bias and has been my second bias since jongseong took the number one spot, but i think he’s fighting for number 1 again he’s just sooooo fine i was ready to get on my knees for him. everyone was down bad for him oof. heeseung is so sexy when performing jfc his expressions and energy 😍😍. sunghoon’s face card was crazy and he’d just show up on camera and id just be like how are you able to look like that. i almost passed out during that one move in sacrifice where he runs his hand down his body. jungwon is so cute, i’ve always seen him as my son even tho he’s like only a year younger than me 💀 but he was so cute during the ments especially when speaking english 🥹 sunoo is such a pretty man i cannot believe he’s real. ni-ki’s stage presence is so crazy. a true performer. he got so many cheers during the performances, but he deserves it. that’s my son fr and he deserves the world!!! overall they’re amazing performers, every member really shined through at some point and i’m so grateful i got to see them. i’m actually so close to buying a nosebleed ticket for their second show tn and going to just take in the moment without recording or worrying about what i’m wearing and all. i really hope they go to europe soon so you can see them!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

another thing i kinda wanna rant about. it’s so annoying that kpop concerts have become about interactions and videos. ik that people already say this on twitter so much but it’s so true!!! everyone on the floor was just recording the whole time. i get it to some extent because enha is soooo close to you and i’m v grateful for those super close up videos at every concert. but even enha said they love it when fans dance along. even tho i recorded most of the concert i kept my phone lower and made sure i was also taking in the concert from my own eyes and dancing alone (basically multitasking lmao). even enha was like we love seeing the fans dancing and having fun, but poor boys cannot see that on the floor (which probably are the only fans they can see clearly with all the lights on them). and when pola love came on and they went down into the crowd you’d just see crowds of people running towards each side of the barricades it was crazy to see from the seated sections fr, i was like uhm 😀😀😀 even girls from the seated sections ran down towards the seated section barricade to see them just a little bit closer, i was like girl….🙄🙄 even on twitter people talk about how it’s always the same ppl at send off and they never move for other people to even just greet enha. when i went to ateez in early 2022 they didn’t have an extended stage and tbh at this time the only fanservice done was during encore. the energy was so much diff and everyone was genuinely having so much fun. i guess it leads to more funny moments and feeds the delusion a little with kpop idols being more interactive with fans now but sometimes it seems as if ppl aren’t there for the actual concert aspect but to get their little moment with the idols. still the energy was amazing during a lot of the songs and i’m still so happy ☺️☺️☺️

sorry for the super long ask, i just had to tell someone and you asked for a concert review so…

love you ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 can i be 🐥 anon if you don’t have one??

AAAHVDKWNFOENFLE THIS SOUNDS PERFECT BABY!!!!! im honestly so happy and relieved to hear that you had such a great experience, i really hope you get to experience it again asap!!!! you truly deserved that and im pretty sure the boys had just as good of a time as you did 🥺🥺🤍 (and yes (about the anon part) absolutely baby!)

[jalapeno-princess]

According To Him

CEO Mark X Reader

Genre: THE FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF I HAVE EVER WRITTEN (with some mentions of sex) (God how do I write about things I have never and probably will never experience I am so sad)

Word Count: 6.5K

Summary: Being in such a high position at one of the biggest tech companies in the country on top of attending college full time can be a lot to handle. You’ve never thought highly of yourself and there were days that you felt like giving up because the workload was too hard. You also were extremely insecure over every single thing about yourself. However, there is one person who makes you feel like the most beautiful, hard working and deserving person in the entire world--the CEO of the company you work at and the man of your dreams, Mark Tuan. 

A/N: (GUESS WHOSE BACK, BACK AGAIN IN LESS THAN A WEEK) IT’S ME WITH ANOTHER STORY but this time it’s adorable, endearing, full of love and laughter and everything I wish was going on in my life but no, I’m seconds away from a mental breakdown every single day. This is based off of Ariana Grande’s new song “POV” and honestly as soon as i heard the song I knew I had to write an imagine based on it it’s sooooo good I wish someone made me feel that way dude why can’t I have a boyfriend like Mark in this story (Or just Mark in general) Please enjoy! (And cry with me)

It's like you got superpowers Turn my minutes into hours You got more than 20/20, babe Made of glass, the way you see through me You know me better than I do Can't seem to keep nothin' from you How you touch my soul from the outside Permeate my ego and my pride

I wanna love me (ooh) The way that you love me (ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too I'd love to see me from your point of view I wanna trust me (trust me) The way that you trust me (trust me) Oh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do I'd love to see me from your point of view

“If we want to build stronger relationships with our hundreds of clients in order to get them to prolong their contracts with us, I suggest that we increase the amount of stocks that we invest in to each of their companies and find more sponsors to help get the attention of the public—maybe we could start putting ads on television or on the radio?” 

If there was anything you hated about your job, it was public speaking. For someone who graduated with her master’s degree in communications with double minors in criminal justice and journalism, one would think you were great when having to speak to a large group of people—but no. Your entire body along with your voice was shaking profusely and you felt as if you were about to throw up. If it wasn’t for the devastatingly handsome man whose been sneaking cheeky winks and a few grins in your direction here and there in order to calm your racing heart, then you would have blew the entire thing. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea y/n. A lot of people listen to the radio nowadays and television can get the attention of those who don’t drive or use cars as transportation. What does everyone else think?” 

If Mark wasn’t there, you were sure your heart would have jumped out of your chest. He actually wasn’t supposed to be there; he had a couple of meetings he had scheduled months beforehand, but when he found out that the members of the board were having a meeting and you were expected to be involved in it while presenting your ideas on how the company you were currently working for could expand throughout the United States and maybe even outside of the country, he cancelled every single meeting with the intention of giving you moral support. 

No matter how much you tried to reject his offer, not wanting to get in the way of his other responsibilities—you’d be lying if you said you weren’t extremely happy that he was there. His presence was undoubtedly calming; no matter wherever the two of you were, whether it was a board meeting, a company dinner or more relaxing and romantic places like the beach or on vacation in Europe, Mark could always bring you serenity. 

You looked around hesitantly in attempts to prevent Mark from seeing the blush he caused rise upon your cheeks from gazing at you and because you were genuinely curious about what your colleagues had to say about your brainstorm. When you saw a hand raise—particularly by a specific someone you weren’t all too fond of in your workplace, you wanted to let out a disgusted groan, but you refused to stoop to her level nor did you want any of your coworkers thinking you were rude. 

“Don’t get me wrong, that is a decent idea—but I know there are other things we can do that would better benefit the company without having to waste money on unnecessary ad sales. With all due respect sir, I don’t think it’s fair for you to show favoritism towards y/n just because she’s your girlfriend.” 

If you weren’t surrounded by fifteen other people, you were sure you would have leaped across of the table and socked her in the face. There were at least 1,000 people employed at the company you were working at and although you haven’t met every single person, you genuinely liked all the employees you did get the chance to get introduced to. However, there was only one person in particular that you honestly could do without and she just so happened to feel the need to speak up against you because she loved making you look stupid—especially in front of Mark. 

From the day you met her, Megan never seemed to care about you even if you were nothing but nice and friendly to her. You didn’t care though—you were there to work, not to worry about someone who dislikes you. But you didn’t do anything wrong for her to treat you as if you were scum of the earth. Every time you would walk past her desk, she would glare at you and during meetings like these that unfortunately she had to attend, she would always plot against you. 

You overheard a conversation between two colleagues in the bathroom one day about how Megan felt as though Mark might have taken a liking to her and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Your boyfriend had no clue about the way she treated you so rudely; you didn’t like starting unnecessary drama, but you were sure he caught on to her hostility—she wasn’t very vague about it. 

As the days went on though, you only grew more and more irritated with her and it was getting harder for you to bite back your tongue and prevent yourself from saying how you truly felt about her. It didn’t matter that your boyfriend just so happened to be the CEO of the tech company you’ve been working at for almost three years now; if you were to physically attack someone or instigate a fist fight, there was nothing he could do if she were to press charges—well other than bail you out—but that wouldn’t look too good for him as one of the youngest and most successful CEOs in the country. 

Your boyfriend Mark just so happened to take over his father’s company right after the elder man decided to retire just a year after you began working there. You were an intern at the company for a couple of months before Mark’s dad offered you a permanent job; stating that you were one of the best interns he’s ever had—that you were extremely responsible, hard working, dedicated to your craft, passionate about your education and just an all around kind of person. 

The Tuan family’s company was a very fast paced working environment. Nine hours would pass by faster than you could even comprehend only because you were constantly doing something. You’d be lying if you said your life didn’t get stressful every now and then—managing both college and a full-time job wasn’t the easiest thing to do; especially since you were a double major. But you did your best to stay on top of school and work. You were introduced to Mark one day by his father when he told you that he wanted the two of you to work together in order to build a healthy work relationship seeing as how he wanted you to be his son’s go to person. 

Mr.Tuan trusted you the most out of every single person working at his company; so it was only natural for him to want you to show his son the same support that you’ve shown him. 

Mark was nothing short of a gentleman when you first met him—he never used his position or the fact that he was the heir to the company to get what he wanted or to intimidate anyone of the employees in anyway. In fact, sometimes you’d forget that his family owned the company and that he was supposed to take over his dad’s position seeing as how he blended in so well with everyone else. He allowed you to show him the ropes; even if his father was the CEO and this company has been in his family for over four generations, he himself has never really been involved in what went on at the company. 

His parents wanted him to enjoy his life and do whatever it was that he wanted to do before having him take on such an important and tiresome role. Mark was such an amazing listener and he seemed to be very eager to learn. He complimented you on how dedicated and how hard working you were and he was very grateful that his dad had someone working for him who cared for the success of their company as much as he did. 

There was a point where you spent almost every minute that you were at work with Mark and you honestly weren’t complaining. You loved his presence and enjoyed how happy he made you. Although he wasn’t a man of many words, his actions spoke for him. He’d open every single door for you, pulled out your chairs, carried the things you would need for meetings, held your bag as you paid for coffee—hell, he even started to take over every bill that you had whether it was for food, drinks or just your necessities. 

At first, you assumed that he was only being nice as a way to no verbally thank you for helping him out—but with the way he would look at you with a certain glint and sparkle in his eyes, and the way he would try and touch you every now and then, whether it was bringing back some of your hair behind your ear, pulling you on the inside as the two of you walked on the sidewalk or playfully poking your cheek if he noticed you falling asleep from how exhausted you were, people didn’t do that to just anybody. 

It was obvious he felt comfortable around you and you knew it was a stretch to feel this way, but you were secretly hoping that he saw you as more than just a colleague. You knew you were screwed from the moment he was assigned to work under you—Mark had to be the handsomest man you’ve ever seen in your entire life. He had the most well-defined features; the prettiest brown eyes, a sharp and pointy nose, prominent cheek bones and the softest, heart shaped lips. 

You’d find yourself staring at his lips during meetings or when the two of you would get lunch together and you always wondered what it would be like to feel them against yours. Only after a month, your partnership with Mark grew more flirtatious. He would always playfully tease you and make jokes in attempts to make you laugh when he could tell you were stressed; he also complemented you every single day about how beautiful he thought you were and how your laugh had to be the prettiest and most contagious sound in the world. You’d observe the way he would act around the other employees to see if the way he interacted with you was just him being friendly—but he hardly ever talked to anyone else unless he had to for business purposes.

It made you feel special in a sense that maybe—just maybe Mark had developed some kind of romantic feelings for you as you quickly did with him. One night, Mark took you out to dinner as a way to thank you for all you’ve done for him so far and the night went along perfectly. Conversation flowed so easily between the two of you and you found out that you had so much in common with the older boy. Your sense of humors were the exact same and you both were very generous when it came to helping out the less fortunate. 

You didn’t think much of him offering to drop you home, you just assumed he wanted to make sure you made it in to your apartment safely. Once the two of you pulled up to your complex, he insisted on walking you to your door. You didn’t really expect anything once you were to reach the front door—you planned on thanking him for such an amazing night and for taking you home. 

To your surprise, he tugged on your wrist and pulled you in to his chest before connecting your lips together in a sweet kiss. His lips were so soft and tasted like bubblegum—he lowered his hands to your waist while licking on your bottom lip, ultimately bringing it in between his teeth. The two of you made out for a couple of minutes until Mark abruptly pulled away. Right as you were about to whine at the loss of his lips against yours, he hid his face in the crook of your neck and giggled softly. 

“I like you y/n—a lot more than I’d like to admit actually. If I’m being honest, I think it might be more than that. I’ve liked you from the minute my dad had me shadow you and if I’m being honest, I kind of hinted towards wanting to be partnered up with you because I witnessed how amazing your work ethic is and I’ve admired how intelligent and talented you are. I think my dad talks more highly about you than he does me and I can see why—you’re wonderful y/n. These last few weeks with you has been some of the best moments of my entire life. You make me so happy. I would have never thought that I would actually enjoy going to work as much as I do and it’s specifically because I want to see you. Would you—um—maybe want to be my girlfriend? I totally understand if you don’t want to and please don’t feel as if you have to reciprocate my same feelings because I’m going to be your boss or because you feel bad—“ 

You didn’t allow him to say anything else before you roughly smashed your lips back up against his. Now that you knew how it felt like to kiss him—something you’ve been dreaming about for quite some time now, you would never get enough of having his lips meld perfectly in unison with yours. 

“I like you too Mark. You don’t understand how happy I am—I’m sure you’ve caught me stealing glances at you every now and then. I would doze off sometimes and dream about what it would be like to be the lucky girl who gets to love you and be loved by you. I would love to be your girlfriend. If you don’t have to go yet, did you maybe want to uh—come inside for some coffee?” 

He beamed at you and nodded in excitement—it didn’t take a genius to know that coffee was not at all going to be involved in the nights festivities and he couldn’t care less. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t dreamt about being intimate with you and getting to see you naked and bare—writhing underneath him while begging him to do anything to soothe the fire building inside of you. It’s happened on many occasions and he isn’t embarrassed to say a lot of his wet dreams were caused by you. As soon as you both made your way inside, he pressed you up against the door and began leaving sloppy kisses on the expanse of your neck and chest while whispering sweet nothings against your jaw. 

That entire night was spent relishing in your newfound relationship in your bed, in the shower, on the counter and up against your fridge. From that night on, the two of you were inseparable—it wasn’t much of a change from your usual time spent together other than him being even more clingy and touchier now that the two of you were a couple. Plus, you got to see him on the weekends which was a bonus—even if you spent almost ten hours a day every single day with him, it was never enough. 

Both you and your boyfriend decided to keep your relationship a secret from everyone at the company to prevent people from talking negatively of you or assuming that you were only dating Mark for beneficial reasons which was far from the truth. You didn’t think it was possible for Mark to be an even more amazing boyfriend than he was a business partner, but he proved you wrong entirely. He was so shy and soft whenever it came to you. 

Although he practically hovered over your tiny frame, the older boy would follow you around like a lost puppy. He would show up to your apartment every morning and take you with him to work so you didn’t have to worry about transportation. He would also wait until you were finished with work if he just so happened to end earlier that you did in order to take you home. If Mark was anything, it was extremely observant. 

It took him less than a week to learn your coffee order, he’d purchase all kinds of things for you while he’d go grocery shopping, he would buy you bags and clothes that he thought would look amazing on you, he would write you cute little post it notes and stick it all around your desk and if you were to catch a cold or if you weren’t feeling all too well, he’d take off from work in order to help nurse you back to health—in more ways than one. You never thought you would ever be able to experience the love Mark was giving to you. 

You’ve only ever been in two actual relationships before him. Other than that, you were the type of person who enjoyed to fool around. Whenever you and your friends would go out to clubs and bars, you’d find yourself getting drunk and taking someone home whose name you’d never got around to learning. If you were being honest, you never thought you would ever be in a long term relationship before. 

Your parents divorced when you were only two years old and it seemed like most of the adults you were surrounded with just so happened to be divorced also. Love was a foreign word to you—you never believed love could exist. Everything you’ve seen in movies was fake; all these shows and books about men who would give their lives for their significant others, you thought it was complete and utter bullshit. You ended up breaking up with both your boyfriends because you were afraid of getting your heart broken. 

It wasn’t like either of them really made you feel loved or genuinely cared for in the first place, so breaking up with them didn’t hurt as much as you expected to. That all changed the minute you found yourself falling in love with Mark. Time and time again, you told yourself you would never allow yourself to make such a stupid mistake—nor did you want to give your heart, mind, spirit and just yourself entirely  away to someone who would only break your heart and leave you like it is the easiest thing do to. 

For years, you’ve put up this barrier around your heart and kept every single person out of it. However, you didn’t know how he did it—but Mark knock down your walls and made you want to fall in love with him. Even before you really got to know him and how he was as a person, you know you could trust him. You wanted to give yourself a chance at love; it’s what you deserved. You couldn’t keep running away from something so good—or someone who obviously loved you more than life itself just because you didn’t want them to hurt you. 

The way he took care of you—even if you weren’t necessarily aware of it; the way he looked at you with so much adoration and happiness, the way he would talk so highly about you to everyone he surrounded himself with made it all the more clear that you must have meant a lot to Mark and you weren’t going to let anything or anyone for that matter get in the way of experiencing what true love felt like. Not once in your relationship with Mark did you ever have to worry about getting hurt—you knew that man loved you with his entire being. He never failed to show you or tell you every single day and sometimes you had a hard time accepting that someone could love you so much in the way Mark evidently did. 

Mark Tuan had to be the best thing that has ever happened to you and you were never going to take him for granted. He was the man you knew you wanted so badly to spend the rest of your life with—there was nobody in this world that you loved or could ever love more than you did with him. He captivated your heart in ways you didn’t believe was possible. Honestly, there were times where you felt as though he deserved better. 

You didn’t think all that highly of yourself; sure you had a pretty high position at his company for someone who was only 21-years-old and you were obviously well educated, but you weren’t very sociable nor did you think you were as street smart as you were book smart. You also never considered yourself to be attractive; you’d stare at yourself in the mirror ever now and then and picked out a lot of your features that you didn’t like about yourself.  

There were days that you thought everything about you was ugly; your teeth were crooked, your eyebrows were bushy, you had chubby cheeks, you were on the more curvy side—you had thick thighs, decent sized breasts and your butt was on the bigger side, but you also had big hips and your stomach wasn’t as flat as you wish it would be. On many occasions, you found yourself growing jealous of a few of the employees at the company because a lot of them were so pretty and had petite, dainty bodies. 

No matter how many times your boyfriend would remind you on a daily basis that he thought your body was so beautiful and that he was completely obsessed with each and every curve, beauty mark and birth mark scattered along your skin, your insecurities never failed to get the best of you and you’d always tell yourself that he probably wanted someone with the body of a model. However, you would observe Mark just as much as he did with you; he never batted an eye at any other girl—even when he talked to one of your colleagues, he seemed so disinterested and it made your heart flutter. 

You wanted nothing more than to be content with the fact that your boyfriend only had eyes for you, but it was only natural for you to feel as though you weren’t good enough for him. There was an insult on the tip of your tongue; you wanted to ask her what she had in mind and hoped that it was worse than your idea so she would look like a complete dumbass, but luckily—Mark beat you to it. 

“Decent? I think you mean brilliant—and no Megan, I do not allow my personal affairs to conflict with my work ethic. I genuinely like y/n’s idea and I would support her even if we weren’t dating. Do you have any better ideas?” 

You didn’t have to confess anything out loud; Mark could read your body language like it was a picture book. He knew you better than he knew himself and even better than you knew yourself. With the way you tightened your fists and clenched your jaw, he knew you were seconds away from reaching across the table and pulling on Megan’s hair and if he was telling the truth—he was all for it. Your boyfriend knew all about your ill-relationship with the older girl—he wasn’t blind. Your mood was always quick to change from excited and bubbly to quiet and visibly annoyed whenever she came around. 

He wasn’t the kind of person to press you for information if you didn’t want to flat out tell him yourself. He did wish you would tell him though; he wanted to know everything that was bothering you or things that made you upset—if there was anything Mark loathed, it was seeing you sad. His sole purpose was to make sure you were constantly happy, healthy and living the best life possible. 

As a CEO, he couldn’t fire her for the reason that she was tormenting you; there was no evidence. But as your boyfriend, he could use his title against her and he always used that to his advantage—to protect you. You had to bite your lip to prevent yourself from laughing at the sight of her now defeated demeanor. 

“No sir.” Mark sent you a cheeky wink before clapping his hands together and getting up from his seat. 

“What does everyone else think about the radio station and television commercial ad idea?” Everyone around you nodded their heads in agreement and some even gave your boyfriend a thumbs up—you weren’t one to boast nor did you particularly find contentment in proving others wrong unless they deserved it and Megan definitely deserved the shade your boyfriend gave her. 

“Good, then it’s settled. If anyone has any better ideas—then feel free to bring it to the next meeting. But until then, we’ll go along with what y/n pitched and take it from there. I have some phone calls I have to make, so I’ll be taking my leave. Good job everyone.” Mark bowed to the entire table and quickly made his way towards the door but not before walking over to you and gently squeezing your shoulder. 

“No rush, but can you come to my office once you wrap things up here? I want to talk more about your idea.” 

You nodded in agreement even if you knew that you and your boyfriend would only briefly go over what was brought up in the meeting before doing something you both shouldn’t do in a work environment. The meeting only lasted for a couple of minutes after Mark had left—all the employees in attendance were extremely supportive of what you came up with and you couldn’t have been more thrilled and grateful with their responses. 

Right after you adjourned the meeting, you made a beeline for Mark’s office; not wanting anyone—specifically Megan to keep you from your boyfriend any longer. When you noticed her approaching, you quickened your pace and made sure she was no longer tailing you once you reached Mark’s door. You knocked gently and waited patiently for him to invite you in and as soon as he called out for you to enter, you made your way inside and gave him no time to process your movements before flopping on to his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. A soft giggle fell from his lips as he brought his hands down to your waist and held you tightly against his body. 

“You’re amazing and I love you. Thank you baby.” His laughter filled the room—going straight to your chest and making warmth rise upon your cheeks. For someone who was only three years away from turning thirty, he had the most adorable, high pitched laugh that you knew could light up any room he was in. 

“You’re the one whose amazing and I meant what I said—your idea is brilliant. Almost as brilliant as you my love. You never cease to amaze me. Did you see the look on Megan’s face when I indirectly called her out? That shit was priceless I wish I got it on camera. By the way—why didn’t you tell me about how she acts towards you earlier? I’m not stupid y/n, I know there must be some kind of animosity between the two of you and I know you’re not the cause of it. You know you can trust me with these things. What else does she do to you? Nobody treats my baby so unfairly and can expect me not to do anything about it.” 

You brought your hand up to his cheek and cupped it ever so gently before placing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. He smiled softly against your lips and stole a couple more kisses before leaning back in his chair in order to get a better look at you. 

“I didn’t want to bother you with something I can handle on my own. I’m a big girl Mark and I don’t let shit like that bother me. I don’t know why she acts like this, I didn’t do anything to her—and I don’t want everyone here to think that I’m not capable of fighting my own battles and that I have to have my boyfriend use his power to fight them for me. I’m sure a lot of employees gossip to each other about our relationship—“

“Who cares what anyone says? Our relationship is nobody’s business but our own. I just—I’m sorry, hearing her try to make you seem so small—so incapable of great things pissed me the fuck off. You’re the hardest worker we have in this entire company and I’m not just saying that because you’re the love of my life. I’m saying it because I’ve watched you work your ass off for the last four years taking on overtime, flying all around the world to meet with and make business with all these important companies, staying up all night to study for exams only to come in the next morning like you weren’t exhausted at all. You are an ethereal being baby. You’re otherworldly and I just can’t stop looking at you in astonishment. I hope you know Megan and every other girl who acts that way towards you is just jealous of you and I don’t blame them. I mean, just look at you.” 

The tears were hot as they built up at the brim of your eyelids. This happened almost every single day. Mark had a habit of going in to detail about the love he had for you and how wonderful he thought you were and you were never prepared to hear his complements and sweet words. 

“I don’t know what they would be jealous about Mark. Like you said, look at me—“

“I am looking at you. I can’t seem to stop looking at you. All I ever want to do for the rest of my life is look at you and admire you for the extraordinary human being that you are. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, I’m being completely honest y/n. You are so fucking gorgeous, I can’t even form your beauty in to words. You’re honestly God’s favorite and definitely mine. I hate that you think so negatively about yourself when I think the world of you. I know there’s no such thing as a perfect person but damnit y/n, you come very close. I really don’t know what I did to deserve you—and yes, I know what you’re thinking and you can just get rid of the thought that you’re not good enough for me out of your mind completely. Y/n, you are the best thing to ever happen to me—I mean that wholeheartedly. All my life, I felt as though something was missing but I could never put my finger on it. When I met you, everything changed and it just clicked. You were my missing puzzle piece—you’ve brought so much love and light in to my life and I’m forever thankful for being blessed with you to be my person.” 

You allowed the tears to fall from your eyelids and a small sob left your throat leading Mark to laugh against your jaw while bringing you closer to his chest. He began to run his fingers through your hair and left a few gentle kisses all around your face. 

“God Mark, I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I would do it again and again—I would lead and fight an entire world war if it meant getting to be the person you love in each and every single lifetime. I can’t even—I know I tell you that I love you every single day but I can’t help to feel as though it’s not enough. I wish there was more I could say or do to show you just how much I truly, deeply and irrevocably love you, how you mean the entire world to me and how I would be completely nothing without you. I wish I could see myself the way you see me—from your point of view. I want to trust and believe in myself the way you do. I wish I could love myself, the way you love me. I’m trying to learn to love myself because I know you worry about me and I don’t want you to anymore. I want to make you proud Mark—“

“You do make me proud y/n—every single day. I know you want to keep us a secret for reasons I have yet to understand—I’m sure now it has to do with people like Megan, but you shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks about you other than yourself and me. I think you’re the most astounding person I have ever met. It’s okay if you never learn to love yourself baby—I love you enough for the both of us and I will spend the rest of my life reminding you just how much of a wonderful, amazing, beautiful both on the inside and out and extremely sexy woman you are.” 

He stole a few sloppy kisses from the corner of your mouth and began grazing your cheek feather lightly.

“You don’t have to do anything more to prove your love for me, I feel it in my heart. You’re the reason it beats by the way. You keep my blood rushing and my veins pumping. I would give up anything and everything—this job, my family, my friends, hell I would even give up my PlayStation 5 for you and that says a lot baby. You’re all I could ever want and need  in my life. Now, if you want to show me some gratitude for loving you so much and for being your backbone today, maybe you could help me fix the problem in my pants that you caused as soon as I saw you leave the bathroom this morning wearing this outfit. Did I tell you how breathtakingly beautiful and devastatingly sexy you look right now? You know what was so hard for me—well, other than my painfully hardened erection, but it was seeing you in this skirt and blouse—watching you tell everyone of your plans with so much confidence and observing the way all the men in there were looking at you with desire in their eyes and not being able to walk up to you and kiss you with all my energy. I would have fucked you right there on the table if I could. But now that we’re both on lunch break—I’m all for eating you out right now. Lunch with a view sounds amazing and I’m not talking about the cityscape babe.” 

You playfully shoved him while attempting to get out of his embrace but he wasn’t having any of it and tightened his grip around your waist if it was even possible. “Mark, we can’t have sex right now, everyone is going to find out what we’re doing. You and I are not exactly the quietest people when we have sex—“ 

He gave you the most adorable pout before bringing his lips right under your ear and nibbling tenderly—trying to get a rise out of you. “Why not? We’ve made love in here many times y/n. I daydream about the multiple times I fucked in to you auto against this desk and against the window. The imprint of your breast on the glass is still in the back of my mind. Who cares if they hear? All the more better. I saw the way all the men would let their eyes linger on you a little too long. I think it’s time they are reminded that your bed is spoken for. It’ll also teach anyone in this building not to mess with you. Don’t try to talk me out of it, I know you’re a huge exhibitionist baby. There’s this one particular position that I wanted to try out if you’re okay with it. I’m going to need you to get on all fours and this blouse, as amazing as it looks on you, I want to see these pretty titties bounce for me. Get ready to sing my love—I’m going to make sure everyone on this floor knows whose the boss in more ways than one.”

I'm getting used to receiving Still getting good at not leaving I'ma love you even though I'm scared Learnin' to be grateful for myself You love my lips 'cause they say the Things we've always been afraid of I can feel it starting to subside Learnin' to believe in what is mine

I wanna love me (ooh) The way that you love me (ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too I'd love to see me from your point of view I wanna trust me (trust me) The way that you trust me (trust me) Ooh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do I'd love to see me from your point of view

I couldn't believe it Or see it for myself Know I be impatient But now I'm out here fallin', fallin' Frozen, slowly thawing, got me right I won't keep you waitin', waitin' All my baggage fadin' safely (baggage fadin') And if my eyes deceive me Won't let them stray too far away

I wanna love me (ooh) The way that you love me (ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too I'd love to see me from your point of view I wanna trust me, ooh (trust me) The way that you trust me, baby (trust me) 'Cause nobody ever loved me like you do I'd love to see me from your point of view, yeah

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

The Nual Family Onion - CH 2

Title: The Nual Family Onion

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Destiel 

Rating: Lemon

Warnings: minor character death   

A/N: Sooooo..... I know I have chapter one definitely posted on here, but for some reason that's it? Even though I was sure I had posted other chapters as well. But alas... damn tumblr. So I shall post the other chapters that I already have posted on AO3, here's chapter two, the others will follow tomorrow XD Sorry friends!! <3

That being said, if you were supposed to be tagged in this can you let me know, cuz I guess I lost everything... 

AO3

Masterlist

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Chapter two:

     An hour later Dean was standing in front of Castiel's door again, though this time slightly more nervous then he was before. He had finally agreed to go out with him, to at least give Dean a chance to get to know him, and for him to get to know Dean. It was all he had wanted since the first moment he saw Castiel, and now that he had it, he felt like he was going to throw up. 

     He took a breath to try and steady his raging stomach and rang the doorbell before he could turn and run, and Castiel's two brothers answered the door. 

     "Dean! Come in!" 

     The one with the accent reached out and took Dean by the arm and pulled him inside, the other instantly grabbing at Dean and looking him over. "You look great, Dean-o! Cassie will be ready in just a minute."

     And as if on cue Castiel came walking down the stairs, a picture of heaven in Dean’s eyes. When he reached the bottom he didn't even have words to say as he stood in front of Dean, and it was one of Castiel's brothers who nudged him out of his trance. 

     "You look great, Cas!" And he did, all done up in a tight pair of black jeans with a light blue button up, hair mussed just right. 

     "As do you, Dean." 

     "Doesn't he though!" Balthazar stepped forwards with Gabriel and both started grabbing and pulling at Dean again, "He's so handsome, Castiel, I'm a little jealous!"

     Dean blushed, and Cas stepped towards him to bat his brothers hands away, "I don't know if they introduced themselves or just groped you, but it was probably the latter. These are my brothers, Gabriel and Balthazar. Sometimes they don't know how to keep their hands to themselves."

     "Hi, nice to meet you both," Dean shook their hands, then turned back to Castiel, "you ready?"

     He eyed Dean for a moment then turned to his brothers, "Are you sure you're okay to watch him? He's never been without me this late at night."

     "He'll be fine, Cassie," Gabriel assured, "don't worry and just have fun with Dean."

     Cas looked between Dean and back to the stairs a few times, giving Dean an apologetic look, "Whenever you're ready, Cas, take your time."

     Cas couldn't help but smile, then looked to his brothers and took a breath, "He's napping right now, but if he wakes up and gives you any trouble just call me and I'll come right back." 

     "We will be fine, now go," both Balthazar and Gabriel shooed them out the door. 

     "Alright Dean, let's go."

     Cas found himself smiling again when Dean held out his arm for Cas to take and led him down the porch steps and to his car. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     They found themselves at a lovely little diner. Nothing too fancy, but honestly just perfect for their first date. Dean had grabbed them a booth in the back, allowing them some quiet privacy to get to know one another. After they had ordered some food, Dean was the first to start asking questions. 

     “So, tell me about yourself, Cas,” he leaned in and crossed his arms over the table, “tell me about your son. What's his name?”

     “His name is Jack, he’s three, as you know, but,” Cas leaned in on the table as well, “Jack is not my biological son.”

     “You adopted him.”

     “Yes,” he nodded, “though it was under horrible circumstances.”

     “My youngest brother’s adopted.” Cas looked up and met Dean's eyes as he explained. “Also not under the best circumstances. My dad’s a cop, and when I was eight and my little brother Sam was four, my dad came home one night with Adam. He was one at the time, and his family had been involved in some kind of accident. I don't remember exactly what, but he had no other family to go to so my dad brought him home, said he could stay with us for a while. And of course we all ended up loving Adam and with my dad being chief of police it was easy for them to officially adopt him a few months later.”

     “That was very honourable of your family.”

     Dean smiled at Cas, “My folks are good people, and we love Adam.”

     “Adam was lucky to have fallen into a family like yours.”

     “As is Jack's case as well,” Dean chuckled, “your brothers seem like the fun uncle types.”

     Cas just shook his head with a grin, “They are crazy, but they all love Jack just as much as I do, and they were there to help me when I suddenly found myself a single parent.”

     “If you want to tell me, you can,” Dean reached a hand over the table and placed it on Cas’s arm, “but if you don't want to then that's fine too.”

     “I hardly think this qualifies as decent talk for a first date.”

     Dean shrugged, “We’re getting to know each other, that includes the good and the bad.”

     “I suppose you're right,” he took a breath then looked up to Dean as he explained, “Jack is the son of a very good friend of mine, her name was Kelly. The two of us had been friends since we were in kindergarten together, best friends, completely inseparable. After we graduated highschool I went straight to university, but Kelly decided to take some time off and travel the world. When we were twenty-two she booked a backpacking trip across Europe. She was supposed to be gone for three months, but she showed up on my doorstep not too long after she left and told me she found out she was pregnant.”

     “It happened on the backpacking trip?”

     Cas shook his head with a shrug of his lips, “I have no idea. Kelly never told me who the father was, or if she even knew herself, and I didn't care. I was going to be there to help her no matter what. So we found her a two bedroom apartment and we spent the next few months after that helping her to prepare for the baby. I helped her get the nursery ready, we had a baby shower for her, I even went to prenatal classes with her. She was just so excited for the baby and so ready to be a mother.”

     “You guys were really close,” Dean gave Cas’s arm a squeeze and Cas laid his hand over Dean’s.

     “We were, she was like family to us.” As he continued on with the story Cas found himself thoughtlessly stroking his fingers over Dean’s knuckles, it was comforting and grounding. “When Kelly went into labour she was at our house. We were in the backyard sitting by the pool when it happened and instantly I knew something was wrong. I know childbirth is a painful experience but it was different, she was in more pain then she should have been. So we rushed her to the hospital and the doctors allowed her to bring me into the delivery room. She wasn't in labour for long before she gave birth to Jack, and he was only in her arms for a few moments before alarms started going off and I could tell she was fighting unconsciousness. 

     She suddenly handed me the baby and told me she wanted me to make sure I was the one who took care of him, that I needed to be there for him and make sure he had a good life. She told me I had to be his father. I didn't know what to say, and just before she passed out she called a nurse over and told her that the baby's name was to be Jack Novak, my last name.”

     “She knew,” Dean stated with a nod.

     “Yes, I think she knew, just as I did, that when she went into labour that there would be complications with Jack’s birth. And as the doctors were examining her and trying to solve the problem, she knew there was a chance that she wasn't going to make it.”

     “It was a smart move,” Dean had since taken Cas’s hand in his own and was now running his fingers over Cas’s knuckles soothingly, “giving the baby your last name meant you wouldn't be denied custody even though you're not blood.”

     “And that's exactly what the doctors told me,” he nodded, not able to look Dean in the eyes anymore, “because of what Kelly did before she died, I was immediately given custody of Jack and child services was never really involved.”

     “Did they find out what the complications were?”

     He shook his head, “After they took her to surgery I was left standing in the room, holding a  baby, no clue what to do, and not too soon after the doctors came back in and told me that they did everything they could but she just faded. They don't know why the complications occurred or how, but there was nothing they could do. And so I was suddenly left with a baby, a single father in less than twenty-four hours.”

     “Well, she chose the right man for the job,” Cas looked back to Dean and he flashed him a small smile, “she knew she could count on you to take care of Jack.”

     “I would have done anything for her,” Cas lifted his free hand up to wipe the small tear trying to escape his eye, “and now I would do anything for Jack.”

     “Does Jack know about Kelly?”

     “I've told him about her, shown him some old pictures,” he nodded, “I didn't think I should dishonour her by pretending she never existed.”

     “That's for the best,” Dean agreed, “he deserves to know who his mom was, she sounds like she was an amazing person.”

     “She was, and I miss her every day, but I know she watches over Jack,” he smiled, then asked, “does Adam know about his parents?”

     Dean nodded, “When he got older my parents told him about them. My dad pulled some old pictures from their files at the precinct, and they took Adam to visit their graves. He still goes occasionally, but he was too young to even remember them when they died. We’re they only family Adam has ever known.”

     “And you've all lived here your entire lives?”

     “Born and raised,” Dean smiled wide, “I can't imagine moving out of Lawrence. When did you guys move here? Before meeting you at the park that day, I had never seen you or your brothers around.”

     “We moved here when Jack was six months old. Our house was already cramped enough as it was with myself, my dad, and my three brothers all living together, and with a baby added in it was just not doable. So we left Ohio and moved here, bought a house with enough space for all of us.”

     “You have three brothers?” Dean was staring at Cas with furrowed brows, “I've met two, Gabriel and Balthazar.”

     “The third brother you haven't met yet because he works with my dad at his construction company, they are both always out late, his name is Gadreel. He's the youngest, Gabriel is the oldest, then Balthazar, then myself.”

     “And Gabriel and Balthazar, what do they do?”

     “Gabriel owns a bakery in town, his store has been doing well so he only goes in when they need him to,” Cas laughed as he looked up and saw Dean practically drooling over the table, “I’m sure he would love it if you taste tested for him. And Balthazar owns a nightclub downtown, so he usually leaves around eleven and comes home early morning. And I work mostly from home as an accountant for my dad's company, that way I can take care of Jack.”

     “First off, you guys are all so successful!” Cas smiled triumphantly, “And second, any time Gabriel needs a taste tester, and I do mean any time, sign me up!”

     Castiel laughed, “I will make sure he knows. And what do you and your family do, Dean?”

     “Dad still works as chief of police, my mom has never worked, she always stayed home and took care of us. Sammy, the middle child, is working towards becoming a big shot lawyer, and Adam, the youngest is in med school. As for me, I’m nothing special,” Dean shied away, '' I work with my uncle as a mechanic at his shop. I was never really one for school, so no hot shot job for me.”

     Cas shrugged, “Lawyers and doctors are good jobs, but mechanics are extremely attractive.”

     Dean perked up at that, squeezing Cas’s hand that he was still holding a little tighter, “You think so?!”

     Cas leaned in and smirked, “Do you wear a blue jumpsuit and come home a little dirty sometimes?”

     Dean just nodded.

     Cas leaned in a little further as he winked and whispered, “Much sexier than any doctor or lawyer I know.”

     He couldn't help it if he blushed a little, or a lot, at Cas’s words, and just after that their food arrived. With one last wink sent Dean’s way, and a deeper shade of blush covering his cheeks from it, the two of them ate their food and continued their night locked in conversation. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Dean pulled up to Cas’s house and parked the car, then he jumped out and ran to the passengers side to open his door for him and help him out.

     “Thank you,” Cas smiled and allowed Dean to take his hand and walk him to the front door.

     “So,” Dean began as he shifted from foot to foot while they stood on the porch, “did you enjoy the night?”

     “I did, and,” Cas sighed, turning to look at the door then back to Dean, “as much as I love Jack, it was nice to have a night out, and maybe spending some time without me will be good for him.”

     “Does that mean we get to do this again?” Dean asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

     Cas smiled, “I would very much like to, but… but this has to go slow, Dean. I do have Jack to worry about and no matter what he always comes first.”

     Dean reached down and took both of Cas’s hands in his, “It’s no problem Cas, we can work this at your pace. And as for Jack, whenever you're ready I would love to meet him. If we are going to make this work between us, because I really like you Cas, then I want Jack to like me too. He's as much a part of this as we are.”

     “It means a lot to hear you say that, Dean,” he breathed a sigh of relief, “part of the reason why I haven't dated since Jack came into my life is because I was always worried that no one would see him in that way, as a part of the relationship, and I won't have him neglected.”

     “He won't be, not while im around,” Dean smiled.

     “You are a wonderful man, Dean Winchester,” Cas pulled on Dean's hands and brought him closer, “I am glad you persisted and convinced me to go out with you tonight.”

     “Me too, Cas.”

     The two leaned in further, close enough now for their noses to be touching, but Dean waited for Cas to take the lead. This was at his pace afterall and Dean was going to make damn sure he didn't do anything to push Cas away. 

     “Good night, Dean.”

     “Good night, Cas,” and it was Cas who tilted up and closed the gap, placing a sweet kiss on Dean's lips. 

     It didn't last long, but it was more than enough for Dean at the moment, and when they parted he couldn't help the face splitting grin that covered his face as he watched Cas walk inside. 

     “Call me tomorrow,” Cas said, turning back once he was inside.

     “I will,” and Dean was already counting down the seconds until he could wake up and make a second date with Cas.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     No sooner than Cas was able to close and lock the door was he very quickly bombarded by all three of his brothers. 

     “How did it go?!” Balthazar was practically jumping on the spot waiting for an answer.

     “Brother, I was surprised to find out from Gabriel and Balthazar that you went on a date tonight. Who was it with?”

     Castiel turned his attention towards Gadreel, “I was with Dean Winchester, he’s lived in Lawrence his whole life, and the date went well. We… we are going to go out again.”

     Gabriel was the one to freak out this time, practically squealing, “Aren't you glad we told you to give him a chance!”

     “I am,” he blushed, “but how was Jack while I was gone?”

     “He was fine, brother,” Gadreel answered, “when I got home he was still napping, and when he woke up he did ask where you were, but he settled with watching TV until bedtime. He's sleeping now.”

     “I'll go check on him and then I am going to head to bed myself,” Cas quickly hung his coat then began up the stairs, “and thank you all for watching him tonight.”

     “Any time, Cassie!”

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A/N: Let me know what y’all think XD More to come tomorrow!! <3

Tags: @kitsunecastiel

[clock-corpse]

Europe 1965 A.D.

“Mm...” Sakuya grumbled in her sleep, and a feminine voice giggled in response. With even such a quiet sound, Sakuya woke up.

“H-Huh? Hello?” Sakuya rubbed at her eyes to wake up.

“Heeheehee~ Hiiiiii~ Good morning, gorgeous~ ��� ”

Sakuya found herself staring at a devilish looking woman wearing lingerie underneath her covers lying on top of her. She stared in disbelief and shock. She just woke up, so it was going to take a few moments to realize what was going on.

“Good to see you’re finally awake. I’ve been waiting for sooooo long~ ♡ ” She used her arms to push herself up to hover over Sakuya. “I’m so happy that you’re awake now. We can finally get started, and what a stud you are. I truly am lucky.~ ♡ ” She started moving a hand toward’s Sakuya’s open shirt, slowly taking it off.

 “I see you don’t wear much when you sleep, how naughty~ ♡ ” She leaned in to whisper into Sakuya’s ear. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you from here on. So just relax~ ♡ ”

“...” Instinctively, Sakuya brought her legs up and kicked the red-haired woman off of her bed alongside with the bed sheets. She then reached into her drawer and brought out a knife.

“Who the hell are you and why were you in my bed?!” She took a defensive position, not bothering to close up her shirt or cover herself.

“Ow! Are you fucking kidding me?! Is that how you treat women who try to bed you?! Someone needs to teach you some proper manners!”

“Me?! You were the one who broke into my room uninvited and decided that you wanted to have sex with me when I had no plans of doing anything with anyone anytime soon!”

Even if she was just kicked into the wall, she still didn’t feel like giving in. “Oh? Is that so? Because if you ask me, I can smell your-” Before she could finish that sentence, the bedroom door swung open and Patchouli stormed in.

“You!”

The woman gave out a squeak then turned around to face the witch. “H-Hi, Lady Patchouli! My my, I must say you are looking quite-” Before she could say anything else, the witch sealed her inside a magic tool. Her voice could be heard within.

“Noooo! Wait! Let me out! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Patchouli sighed as she felt she could relax a bit easier now, and turned to Sakuya. “My apologies, Sakuya. I’ve recently summoned a familiar to do my bidding and she seems to have a behavioral problem. Succubi are quite impulsive when it comes to their hunger. I hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

Sakuya now covering herself, gave a reply. “I-I’m okay. She didn’t do anything to me.” With that confirmation, Patchouli made her leave, closing the door behind her. Sakuya sat back down in her bed. She had to think for a while about what had just happened in that span of a few minutes.

[unfortunately-lovestruck]

No More Time

I wrote this when Antonio only had one season out, so keep that in mind in terms of timeline. This is angst. It is sad. This is what y’all wanted. Have fun :)

“So, do you guys like, prefer one blood type over the other?” MC asked.

“We tend to, yes,” Antonio answered, eyes on the road, “Preference is dependent on the individual’s tastes.”

“So, what would you say is the most popular blood type then?”

“Probably O-,” he shrugged, “It’s rare, and O just has a richer flavor.”

“Richer?”

“Yes.”

“Like cake from a fancy restaurant as opposed to cake from a Walmart?” she compared.

“Are you referring to the quality or price?” his brows furrowed.

“Yes.”

He snorted, a small smile of amusement on his lips.

“Sooooo,” she raised her brows, implying something.

“So?” he asked.

“Come on, you know,” she smiled.

“MC, I can’t answer something without knowing the question.”

“Is my blood Walmart or Gucci?” she blurted.

“It’s…” he paused thoughtfully, “It’s more….. Louis Vuitton, Givenchy?” he answered uncertainty.

“Well those both sounded foreign and expensive, so I’ll take that as a compliment,” MC blinked.

He laughed before explaining, “Regardless, in the end we’ll take what’s there. It leaves too much of a pattern if you target a particular blood type all the time.”

“Makes sense,” MC admitted.

Outside the sleek white sports car, the faint lights of Havenfall began appearing on the dark horizon. If it weren’t for the fact that Antonio still lived there and she had Havenfall’s Finest to accompany her, MC would have left with him months ago. He’d already taken her to LA, and had offered a quick tour around Europe’s basics like Paris and Venice. She’d declined, figuring they should save it for a time where they could afford to stay longer and enjoy it more.

Now, they were coming back from a restaurant that was out of town, where MC had tried out some new cuisine and actually had the chance to have some real conversations with Antonio. On her phone were several texts from the group chat, mainly JD joking about how they might end up finding a dead body soon tonight.

From the responding threats to block a contact, MC figured Razi and Mac didn’t really take it too well.

She yawned as she texted back reassurance of her safety. Antonio was taking her home, and nothing else was happening (despite what JD was insinuating).

“They’re still worried, I assume?” he guessed.

“Give them some time,” she sighed.

“Oh no, I understand,” he acknowledged, not at all bitter, “They have pretty much no reason to trust me. That’s just how it is.”

“At least you’re aware,” she commended.

“Trust me, I am,” he assured, “Besides—“

Whatever he was about to say was cut off by shattered glass and the brakes screeching. MC cursed rather violently as she felt the sting of several cuts on various parts of her body.

“GET DOWN!” he warned, yanking her arm before her skull was crushed with a something.

“Not again!” she groaned, “When will this random-attack-in-the-middle-of-the-night bullshit end?!”

“Show yourself!” Antonio ignored her and challenged the assailant.

“If you say so, bloodsucker,” a female voice answered.

Antonio paled, straight up blanched before whispering, “You.”

“Miss me?” a pale girl dressed in all black answered, sauntering relaxedly in front of the car with a whip in one hand and a gun in the other.

“You just never give up, do you?” he seethed, beyond irritated.

“Where would be the fun in that?” she asked, her easy smirk dropping before her voice dropped, low and threatening, “Now hand the girl over.”

“She’s with me by will,” he informed, tight-lipped, “Contrary to popular belief.”

“Being under the influence of mind control conflicts with that,” she narrowed her eyes, “Now, give her to me.”

“He’s not mind controlling me,” MC spoke up.

The woman shook her head in disapproval, “Of course you trained her to deny any allegations. You’re sick, all of you.”

“Don’t bother,” he told MC, “There’s no other reason anyone would be around vampires to her.”

“Because in the end, all they use humans for is satisfying their appetites,” the huntress raised her gun, pointing it directly to Antonio’s forehead, “Now, don’t make me say the same thing three times.”

Antonio was stone-still, silent as fog.

Then, he wisped away into nothing, a hole in the car seat burning where a bullet was fired.

MC had no idea where he planned to reappear in the night, but was surprised to find his form coalescing behind the huntress after such a direct attack. Faster than light, she turned, cracking her whip at him. His eyes were glowing, sharp canines jutting out his mouth.

“You damn hunters,” he growled, “Persistent bastards, I’ll give you that.”

“We only protect the innocent,” she seethed, graceful features absolutely murderous, “You’re the one exploiting a young woman in the middle of the night.”

���We went to eat Thai food,” he told the truth, rolling his eyes like all of this was bullshit, “Do I need to show you the bill, pictures of the food? Or will you try to stake my phone as well?”

“Hand. The girl. Over,” she repeated, arms tensed to raise her weapons.

“She’s not influenced,” he repeated too.

“That’s it!” she declared, firing another bullet at him.

By a hair’s breadth, he avoided its mark, warping away behind her once again and throwing her harshly against a tree. She rolled up with what had to be years of practice, getting up again after impact with that same fury in her eyes. Antonio didn’t seem surprised at her durability, only dodging again as she fired even more bullets.

MC picked up her phone, eyes never leaving the fight. She lowered the brightness to keep conspicuous and sent several quick texts.

Help.

Huntress, whip, Antonio’s fighting her.

Outside of town, come quickly.

Then, she screamed as the front of the car was crushed in, the woman’s body having been thrown onto it violently.

Quickly, MC scanned for Antonio, jumping as he appeared beside the door and began pulling her out of the car.

“Hurry, go,” he told her, “I don’t sense any more of them. Hide somewhere, anywhere, I’ll find you.”

“All right, I texted the others,” she explained, breaths short and shallow, “They should be here soon.”

“Got it, and whatever you do,” he gripped her shoulder, “Don’t let her take you anywhere. She’ll keep you with her and interrogate you. So go, run.”

MC nodded, sprinting away from the fight before Antonio dodged another crack from the whip. She knew what she could fight against and what she couldn’t, and this was the latter.

“Don’t you dare!” the woman shouted, running after her.

The vampire manifested in front of her before she could get close to MC, who was far slower than either of them even at her most panicked speed.

“She stays out of this,” he declared, “This is personal.”

“Get out of my way,” she ordered.

“Over my dead body and my dead body only,” he threatened.

“That can be arranged,” she bit back with absolutely no humor.

“Alright ladies,” an authoritative voice broke their rhythm, “Enough is enough.”

MC stopped as she heard Mac’s heavy footsteps approach them. A faint glow surrounded Razi in his djinn form, lighting the area where everyone had gathered. JD’s massive wings accompanied that glow, their eyes diluted with hellish gold.

Mac’s voice was almost a growl as she spoke again, “This is not your territory.”

“All territory is Helsing territory as long as there are vampires,” she countered, “Unless you permit homicidal, undead monsters in your territory.”

“We wouldn’t be defending him if he didn’t deserve it,” the sheriff said.

“Then why does he have that woman hypnotized?” she asked pointedly.

“She’s not under hypnosis,” JD cut in, “Trust me, we’ve exhausted that possibility a long time ago. She’s with him willingly.”

“Oh God,” her features twisted with disgust.

“The feeling’s mutual,” Razi acknowledged.

“What’s your name anyway?” Mac asked, “It would be helpful for negotiation.”

“Vanessa Helsing,” she answered.

“All right, Vanessa,” the werewolf started, “We appreciate your concern for civilians’ safety, but it is not needed at the moment. If you drop this now, all matters will be left in peace.”

“I have a mission, this is not something I am able to walk away from,” she argued.

“Then it seems we do have a problem,” Mac warned, “There’s four of us and one of you, Ms. Helsing. I wouldn’t test your chances.”

“You’re seriously siding with him?!” she gestured furiously to Antonio, who’s lips drew back in distaste.

“Listen, even if you gathered evidence of his guilt and had a solid alibi, the local courthouse won’t take Helsing vs. Vasquez because supernatural court cases are not a thing,” Mac explained, “Now drop it, because they will look into property damage and disturbing the peace.”

Vanessa’s red lips thinned, a very reluctant, “Fine,” escaping her mouth.

“Now, hand over your weapons,” Mac held her hand out, “Just until Mr. Vasquez gets in his car and leaves.”

Working her jaw, Vanessa approached the sheriff, giving her the whip and gun stiffly and coldly.

“Your others too,” Mac said, “All of them.”

MC started to relax more and more as she became less and less armed. She couldn’t name any of the weapons, but pretty soon Razi and JD had to pitch in to collect all of them. She stepped out of the cover of the trees, approaching the scene hesitantly as the last of Vanessa’s things were handed over.

Antonio saw her and signaled her over, eyes dimming little by little. He seemed to finally relax just before a sharp piece of wood poked out of his chest and he froze.

Mackenzie growled in outrage, dropping the other weapons and pouncing at Vanessa. The huntress had a gun that that fired stakes in her hand, which she dropped as well to dodge the sheriff. She was almost hit with a roaring ball of fire and shimmering strike of magic before scarcely missing them.

Before any more attacks could be made though, she threw something at the ground, smoke exploding everywhere and blinding everyone.

Then she was gone.

Antonio, however, was on the ground already, eyes wide as blood trailed out of the sides of his mouth and he took shallow breaths.

She wanted to yell out his name, but all she could do was mouth it. MC couldn’t remember running over to him, only that she was kneeling next to his body, hands shaking as she placed his head on her lap and watched the blood pool through his white shirt.

It had been stabbed directly through the heart.

Vaguely, MC remembered him informing her of how fresh human blood could heal a vampire if injured, and she rolled up her sleeve, a deep cut still bleeding on her forearm.

“Come on, Antonio,” she whispered, dipping her arm down to his mouth.

“MC,” he tried to speak, voice choked and croaking.

“Drink it,” she demanded, “Now’s not the time to be self-conscious about drinking, come on.”

He still seemed to have protests, but she forced the blood into his mouth, feeling his lips close over it to drink. He gulped it down, too weak to even suck from the wound.

Once his arms were finally strong enough to work again though, he forced her arm away from his mouth, breaths still short and quick. She protested, but he shook his head, coughing slightly afterwards.

“You just slowed it down,” he wheezed out,” All you did was make the process last longer.”

“No, no,” she shook her head, “Antonio, if you keep drinking, we can get it out—“

“MC, it doesn’t matter if I’m drinking blood, as soon as this stake is removed, I die,” he coughed, thick brows strained together.

“Antonio come on there has to be something,” MC insisted, her throat closing as she refrained from crying, “We can call Diego, ask him what to do.”

“He will tell you the same thing,” he shook his head, “I’ve seen it myself. At this point, there is no salvation.”

“You can’t—” MC started, forgetting that the others were there as well, “You can’t just die!”

“I’ve already pushed my luck for five centuries,” he shook his head, “It was only a matter of time, MC.”

“Antonio, please, you can’t just—” she attempted to speak, the last few words ending in sobs, “You can’t just die. Please, not you too.”

She was pathetic, tears rolling down her cheeks as the blood reached the sleeves of his shirt. A gentle, warm sort of understanding filled his features as he watched, even if there were tight lines all over his face as a result of pain.

“Hello?” a voice on someone’s phone asked, “Razi?”

MC’s head shot up in recognition at the voice.

“Diego, there’s been an attack,” Razi spoke into the phone.

“Oh, God, what happened?”

“It’s…” he trailed off, “It’s Antonio.”

“Is he all right?”

“No.”

“...What happened?”

Even MC, who could only faintly hear the doctor and Razi, noticed the slight panic in his voice.

“He was staked,” Razi explained.

Silence.

“Is… is he not dead yet?”

Utter terror in that one sentence.

“No. MC let him have some blood, but…. It was through the heart.”

“Through the heart?” the doctor asked, “I… Razi, there’s nothing I can do. If it had been anywhere else, blood would have been enough.”

“MC,” Antonio spoke suddenly, hand dipping into his jacket pocket, “MC, here.”

He took out his wallet and car keys, taking her other hand and putting them into her palm.

“Antonio, no—no, I don’t want these,” she shook her head, refusing them.

“Take them,” he closed his hands over hers, not letting her give them back, “I need you to have them with you. There’s a safe in my apartment with cash for emergencies. Victor will know where. Let him know it was Van Helsing, and that he’s not safe here anymore.”

“Antonio—“

“If anyone who doesn’t know the truth asks, it was a car accident,” he insisted, “If the police keep interrogating you—“

“Antonio—“

“If they keep interrogating you,” he persisted, determined to finish his sentence, “I have a lawyer who knows everything. You won’t be legally obligated to answer any questions. Victor will know who that is too.”

“Antonio, stop acting like this is hopeless—“

“It is hopeless!” he told her before coughing raggedly, “You heard Diego, there’s nothing anyone can do!”

“Razi, please, is there any magic you have that can fix this?” she asked, hiccuping with sobs as she turned to him.

“MC!” Antonio coughed, gripping her cheek and redirecting her to face him, “Look at me, look at me.”

She did, tears blurring her vision as she her chest shuddered.

“You’ll be fine, all right? You’ll be okay,” he reassured, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “Don’t stay here. I know how much you want to leave, so don’t waste your life here. Grace will—“

He coughed again, blood pouring out his lips.

“She’ll graduate in Barcelona,” he reassured, swallowing tightly, “You don’t have to worry about her. Go to college like you wanted to. Anywhere, just go.”

“Antonio, now isn’t the time for this!” she insisted.

“There is no time left!” he told her, features strained with anger, “Don’t hang on to me, don’t mourn me forever. Don’t make the same mistake I made.”

“Razi, is that him still talking?” Diego’s voice asked, small and faint.

“Yes,” Razi nodded solemnly.

“Can…. can I talk to him?” Diego asked.

Antonio nodded before Razi could answer, the djinn bending down and holding the phone near him so he could speak to him.

“Antonio?”

“Yes, I’m here,” he choked out.

“Antonio, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have left—“

“No, I’m sorry,” he cut Diego off, “I’m sorry for what I did to you, for what I became. I’m sorry I spent all these years hating you when I could’ve spent them with you as my friend.”

The others can’t decide whether to be shocked, heartbroken, or both.

Antonio was crying.

“Antonio, don’t start regretting things like this, not when—“ Diego sounded like he was crying as well, “Not when you’re about to—“

He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“I’ll regret everything regardless,” Antonio shook his head, looking weaker and weaker with every word, “Diego, lo siento. Perdóname, por favor.”

“Te perdono,” Diego said immediately, voice tight and miserable, “Te perdono, Antonio.”

“Estoy asustado,” he seemed to be confessing something, choking on more tears, “Estoy muy asustado.”

“No tengas miedo,” Diego said in a reassuring voice, “Dios guarda tu alma.”

Whatever he’d just said, Antonio didn’t look very convinced of it.

“Adiós, mi hermano,” he said then, utter heartbreak in every word.

“Adiós.”

MC only somewhat heard Diego ask Razi in English to stay on the phone, in case something happened.

Yet from the dull, empty look in Antonio’s red eyes, she could tell nothing would.

“Evita…” he said then, “Evita, I’m so sorry.”

MC knew that was his sister somehow, knew without him ever telling her. He talked about her the same way she felt about Grace.

“I want to see her again,” he confessed, to whom, MC wasn’t sure, “I miss her so much.”

“You will,” she promised him, speaking past tears, “I know you will.”

Antonio only shook his head, “I won’t. She… she belongs in Heaven. I don’t.”

“Antonio, that’s not true—“

“It is,” he interrupted, thoroughly convinced, “You know it, and I know it. Wherever I end up, it won’t be paradise.”

It hurt the others to watch MC start sobbing. However, they didn’t leave, only stayed behind her, knowing what was to come.

“Listen to me,” he said, obviously with great effort, “Don’t get involved with vampires anymore. Don’t. They will tear you to pieces and they’ll hurt you, just like I tried to.”

MC nodded, knowing there was no more arguing with him.

“Stay with the others. If someone comes after you, if Igor returns, go find Diego. He’ll help you,” he promised.

She opened her mouth to speak, but only sobs came out, barely able to even see his face in the dark anymore through her tears.

“Shh,” he wiped at her cheeks, taking her hand in his free one, “Hey, you’ll be alright, I promise. Remember what I told you. After this, go do the things you couldn’t do. Have what I never got to give you, MC.”

He was paling already, skin ashen and grayed. Raising her hand, he kissed the back of it gently, seeming as though that simple action took immense concentration to accomplish.

“I love you,” he told her, red eyes unfocused as he smiled sadly, “You needed to hear that at least once. I do love you.”

MC’s heart twisted, more tears gushing out of her eyes. The blood had spread from the stake in his heart all the way to sleeves now.

“Thank you, MC,” he told her, knowing he was out of time, “For everything. Thank you.”

And that’s when his heart stopped beating.

The others expected wails of grief, but all they got was frozen silence. Her trembling hand squeezed his lifeless one, which he never squeezed back.

And then, he dissolved into ash, the wind carrying him away into eternal silence.

[zella-mochi]

Octavia Morel — Hazbin OC

Sooooo~  @cinnabirb17​ shared her adorable Hazbin Hotel OC Capricorn, and of course I just had to make my own OC so we could create some crazy stories together!  ^^ <333

~~~

Meet Octavia Morel, the demon plague doctor!

- physical age ~24-25, height ~173 cm/5′8″

- lived in Europe during the Renaissance

- nobody can easily tell where she’s from with her accent, and it doesn’t help that she’ll throw in some Latin, but she’s actually Spanish!

- in Hell, she’s still a doctor of sorts, but she’s embraced her darker side and enjoys “experimenting” on her patients (which do miraculously end up cured usually, all for a fee of course!)

- she only lets those she’s really close to her call her Tavi, otherwise that’s Octavia or Doctor to you!

- never without her mask, she’s self conscious of her eyes since she knows they give away her true feelings far too easily!

- she told herself that the more she knew, the more people she could help...  but in life, she never felt like she got the respect she deserved in her field, so her actions weren���t purely altruistic

- ended up making a contract with the demon of Lust, James (@cinnabirb17′s other OC!), since she “lusted” after knowledge!  Selling her soul was the price she paid, and that was her reason for being condemned 

- but the knowledge she gained didn’t save her from succumbing to illness, and she initially resented James for that

- like her namesake, the Morel mushroom, she was reborn out of the ashes and found happiness after the fire

- fast forward a lot of character development (lol), and she loves James so much and is now forever happy to be “his”! <3

~~~

I really love Octavia and the other Hazbin OCs, and I’m so excited to dive into the Hazbin fandom!!  Expect more references and cleaner drawings to follow soon! ^u^

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

Hello world here are some airport sunset pics from when I got back to NC the other night (it was straight up one of the best sunsets I’ve ever seen, the pics do not do justice) and a little life update on plans for the foreseeable future because oof there’s a lot

March

Currently, how on earth is this month almost over? wtf. right now the plan is just to get through the next 2 weeks before I’m off for the next thing and try to mentally get my shit together because honestly this semester has been a doozy but it’s really made me realize what I need to work on

April

My mom is getting married! Aka I’m going to St. John (shoutout warm weather) for 5 days. Jared is coming with which is EXCITING. He’s flying into/out of chapel hill from london the days before/after we leave for the wedding so I get 2 extra nights with him too which is exciting. He flies in two weeks from today which is sooooo soon and I feel like I have travel whiplash but it should be a fun long weekend trip with people I love and good stuff

That’s the beginning of april, then it’s back to school for two weeks of class and then finals and then undergrad is DONE

May

GraduationNnNnnNnNn. wild. 

Now here’s the reallll exciting part!!!! I’m going back to europe for two weeks (lol what?). So since my family is flying jared to the wedding, his parents are flying me to meet the three of them in Paris for a few nights in May BUT since Jared and I will both be done with school and he has his flat until the end of the month I’m going to fly to london right after graduation (and driving back to jersey) and I think we’re gonna travel somewhere else in europe (berlin?) and then meet his fam in france and then back to london and then fly back to the states together at the end of the month (I am fully aware of the privilege here and very grateful we have families capable of supporting us)

THEN we will roadtrip back to chapel hill from NJ where we will be for the summer (what???)

June-July

So we’re gonna live out the New Girl dream this summer! Jared has the apartment he was living in last semester until the end of July and one of his roommates is still there but the other needed a summer subletter aka me! So I’m gonna actually live in the apartment that I basically lived in last fall

I also got a job with an environmental advocacy group in chapel hill and the hours are odd but it’s money and it’s relevant and it will probs give me something good to write about for law school apps

Also @musingsoflulu I’m requesting a weekend on the AT in advance since I will be in NC this summer ok ty

August

For Jared’s bday/my mom and her boyfriend’s christmas gifts I got us all tix to see Queen at MSG in August so that’ll be rad

So probs heading back to Jersey for the month and dragging Jared along at least a little bit

and studying for the LSAT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then who fricken knows! we shall see!

oof. I’m excited for all of this but at the same time right now everything just feels very !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a!!!!!!!!lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. but I can for sure say I’m living out this adventurous spontaneous life and what more can ya really ask for ya know

[hissyreviews]

September Reads!

Sooooo, who’s 12 days late to show all the books I read last month?

This bitch!

So here’s how I decided to do this end of the month wrap ups. I’m going to add a read more, give the back of the book summary, my snap thoughts, and then a rating. That way, if you don’t care for long posts you don’t have to suffer.

You’re welcome.

The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris

A young FBI trainee. An evil genius locked away for unspeakable crimes. A plunge into the darkest chambers of a psychopath’s mind- in the deadly search for a serial killer. . . .

Thoughts: MMMM yes, this is the good shit. Hell to the bells yes. This is my shit. One of my faves. Top ten books read ever.

Rating: 10/10 would recommend

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The Road is a profoundly moving story of a journey. It boldly imagines a future in which no hope remains, but in which a father and his son, “each the other’s world entire”, are sustained by love.

Thoughts: Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. This book is rough. This world is absolutely horrifying but the relationship that McCarthy crafts between the father and son is so emotional. I have heard that this is one of McCarthy’s least rough books to read in both emotional trauma and philosophical nihilism. (Also I think there was a Jesus allegory in the son. I don’t know why but it felt like he was the future religion. Look, I was too busy crying. I don’t think I could handle reading another McCarthy, alright?)

Rating: 4/10 I didn’t really like it but I think it’s like Pulp Fiction. Everyone should read it once.

The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan

Wounded and near death, a young Union Army corporal is found in the woods of Virginia during the height of the Civil War and brought to the nearby Miss Martha Farnsworth Seminary for Young Ladies. Almost immediately he sets about beguiling the three women and five teenage girls stranded in this outpost of Southern gentility, eliciting their love and fear, pity and infatuation, and pitting them against one another in a bid for his freedom. But as the women are revealed for who they really are, a sense of ominous foreboding closes in on the soldier, and the question becomes: Just who is the beguiled?

Thoughts: This is one of those books that I came into with high hopes. The story itself was good. I liked the overall story. I was not fond of the writing style. It’s the 1960′s trying to emulate the 1860′s. Overall, it went over like a lead balloon.

Rating: 5/10 Take it or leave it. You’ll either like it or you wont. (Check it out at the library.)

The Ghost Map by Steven Johnson

It’s the summer of 1854, and London is seized by a violent outbreak of cholera that no one knows how to stop. As the epidemic spreads, a maverick physicians and a local curate are spurred to action, working to solve the most pressing medical riddle of their time. Ina a triumph of multidisciplinary thinking, Johnson illuminates the intertwined histories of the spread of disease, the rise of cities, and the nature of scientific inquiry, offering both a thrilling account of the most intense cholera outbreak to strike Victorian London and a powerful explanation of how it has shaped the world we live in.

Thoughts: I loved this. I know that history can be dry and dull but this had a dynamic way of speaking about the past. The writer is a journalist not a “true” historian so it makes for good reading. No shade, but many historians just write like dust. Sooo dry. Mmm, book good, much education. I feel illuminated.

Rating: 9/10 would recommend

Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann

In the 1920s, the richest people per capita in the world were members of the Osage Nation in Oklahoma. After oil was discovered beneath their land, they rode in chauffeured cars and lived in mansions.Then one by one, the Osage began to be killed. Mollie Burkhart watched as her family became a prime target. Her relatives were shot and poisoned. Other Osage were also dying under mysterious circumstances, and many of those who investigated the crimes were themselves murdered. As the death toll rose, the case was taken up by the newly created FBI and its young, secretive director, J. Edgar Hoover. Struggling to crack the mystery, Hoover turned to a former Texas Ranger named Tom White, who put together an undercover team, including a Native American agent. They infiltrated this last remnant of the Wild West, and together with the Osage began to expose one of the most chilling conspiracies in American History.

Thoughts: This is a book that will make your blood boil. It shows the blatant racism with an unapologetic stare. As an Irish Cherokee living in Oklahoma, I was biting my fist in rage throughout this entire book. These crimes, these absolutely disgusting crimes should be taught in history books. If you have no idea what this is about. Read the damn book. If you have an idea of the events. Read the damn book. If you live in Europe. Read the damn book. Events like this should never be forgotten. And God bless Mollie Burkhart. Read the book and you will feel that way too. Just read the book.

Rating: 10/10 read the damn book

The Circle by Dave Eggers

When Mae Holland is hired to work for the Circle, the world’s most powerful internet company, she feels she’s been given the opportunity of a lifetime - even as life beyond the campus grows distant, even as a strange encounter with a colleague leaves her shaken, even as her role at the Circle becomes increasingly public. What begins as the captivating story of one woman’s ambition and idealism soon becomes a heart-racing novel of suspense, raising questions about memory, history, privacy, democracy, and the limits of human knowledge.

Thoughts: Holy shit. This is why I don’t own a smart phone. Read this book and you will second glance at every piece of technology that you own. In thrillers I try to guess what is going to happen and I was wrong about the ending of this book. Which, to tell the truth, made me happy but I was paranoid about the ending. Like it feels like life is moving towards this kind of universe and I don’t like it. May I just say that I am Mercer.

Rating: 8/10 would recommend

Voices from Chernobyl by Svetlana Alexievich

On April 26, 1986, the worst nuclear reactor accident in history occurred in Chernobyl and contaminated as much as three quarters of Europe. Voices from Chernobyl is the first book to present personal accounts of the tragedy. Journalist Svetlana Alexievich interviewed hundreds of people affected by the meltdown - from innocent civilians to firefighters to those called in to clean up the disaster - and their stories reveal the fear, anger, and uncertainty with which they still live. Comprised of interviews in monologue form, Voices from Chernobyl is a crucially important work, unforgettable in its emotional power and honesty.

Thoughts: This book  will take you through every possible emotion known to man kind. Alright. Do not read this if you are in an emotionally compromised state. It will make it worse. That said, I truly believe that this is a pivotal piece to understand the Chernobyl disaster from the ground up instead of the top down view that much of the western world understands. Also, with that Chernobyl series this seems an apropos time to read this.

Rating: 9/10 Everyone should read this once.

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

Every Tuesday mornign for two years in the Islamic Republic of Iran, a bold and inspired teacher named Azar Nafisi secretly gathered seven of her most committed female students to read forbidden Western classics. As Islamic morality squads staged arbitrary raids in Tehran, fundamentalists seized hold of the universities, and a blind censor stifled artistic expression, the girls in Azar Nafisi’s living room risked removing their veils and immersed themselves in the worlds of Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry James, and Vladimir Nabokov. In this extraordinary memoir, their stories become intertwined with the ones they are reading. Reading Lolita in Tehran is a remarkable exploration of resilience in the face of tyranny and a celebration of the liberating power of literature.

Thoughts: You know a book that makes you frustrated with the author when they did something you know that they would regret in the past? I felt that. I won’t spoil it but I did say on multiple occasions “You asked for this!” This book is living proof of the old adage “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” Yeah, that’s what I felt and pity. There was some pity going on.

Rating: 8/10 Read it if you are interested in Middle Eastern history or women’s studies. I don’t think it’s everyone’s cup of tea.

The Perfect Girlfriend by Karen Hamilton

Juliette loves Nate. She will follow him anywhere. She’s even become a flight attendant for his airline so she can keep a closer eye on him. They are meant to be. The fact that Nate broke up with her six months ago means nothing. Because Juliette has a plan to win him back. She is the perfect girlfriend. And she’ll make sure no one stops her from getting exactly what she wants. True love hurts, but Juliette knows it’s worth all the pain. . .

Thoughts: This book is an easy read. It’s a day and a half for someone who reads a lot. Easy to get into, easy to understand, but it doesn’t act like it thinks you’re stupid. Creepy in the same way You was creepy. If you liked You you will like this book. If stalkers aren’t your thing avoid this one. I will say that I found the ending underwhelming. It felt like the author was tired of writing and just wanted to end the freaking book. Other than that, it was fine.

Rating: 6/10 Like You? Read this one.

The Trial of Lizzie Borden by Cara Robertson

When Andy and Abby Borden were brutally hacked to death in Fall River, Massachusetts, in August of 1892, the arrest of the couple’s daughter Lizzie turned the case into international news and her trial into a spectacle unparalleled in American history. Reporter flocked to the scene. Well-known columnists took up conspicuous seats in the courtroom. The defendant was relentlessly scrutinized for signs of guilt or innocence. Everyone - rich and poor, suffragists and social conservatives, legal scholars and laypeople - had an opinion about Lizzie Borden’s guilt or innocence. The popular fascination with the Borden murders and its central, enigmatic character has endured for more than a hundred years, but the legend often outstrips the story. Based on transcripts of the Borden legal proceedings, contemporary newspaper articles, previously withheld lawyer’s journals, unpublished local reports, and recently unearthed letters from Lizzie herself, The Trial of Lizzie Borden is a definitive account fo the Borden murder case and offers a window into America in the Gilded Age, showcasing its most deeply held convictions and its most troubling social anxieties.

Thoughts: I have always been fascinated with this case. It is one of the first nationally publicized cases and as such everyone knew. Can you imagine never being able to go anywhere without being recognized as the one woman who got away with murder? In America we still sing “Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, gave her father forty-one.” No one alive in America doesn’t know who Lizzie Borden is. If you like true crime and history you will like this. I think you probably would even if you aren’t a connoisseur of those genres. P.S. I still think Lizzie did it.

Rating: 9/10 would recommend

Jane Austen, the Secret Radical by Helena Kelly

An illuminating reassessment of the life and work of Jane Austen that makes clear how Austen has been misread for the past two centuries and how she intended her books to be read. In Jane Austen, the Secret Radical, Helena Kelly, dazzling Jane Austen authority, looks a the writer and her work in the context of Austen’s own time to reveal this popular, beloved artist as daring, even subversive in reaction to her roiling world and to show, novel by novel, how Austen imbued her books with radical, sometimes revolutionary ideas - on slavery, poverty, feminism and marriage as trapping women, on the Church, and evolution. We see that Austen was writing in a time when revolution was in the air (she was born the year before the American Revolution; the French Revolution began when she was thirteen). England had become a totalitarian state; Britain was at war with France. Habeas corpus had been suspended; treason, redefined, was no longer limited to actively conspiring to overthrow and to kill. It now included thinking, writing, printing, and reading (Tom Paine was convicted of seditious libel in 1792 for ideas considered dangerous to the state), the intention being to pressure writers and publishers to police themselves; those who criticized the government or who turned away from the Church of England were seen as betraying their country in its hour of need. In this revelatory, brilliant book, Kelly discusses each of Austen’s novels in the order in which they were written. Whether writing about the fundamental unfairness of primogeniture in Sense and Sensibility (influenced by Mary Wollstonecraft’s 1792 A Vindication of the Rights of Women) or about property and inheritance, war, revolution, and counterrevolution in Pride and Prejudice (Kelly describes the novel as a revolutionary fairy tale written in response to Edmund Burke’s Reflections on the Revolution in France) or about Mansfield Park, with its issues of slavery and the hypocrisy of the Church of England, we see Austen not as someone creating a procession of undifferentiated romances but as someone whose novels reflect back to her readers the world as it is - and was then - complicated, messy, and filled with error and injustice. We see a writer who understood that the novel - seen as mindless “trash” - could be a great art form and who, perhaps more than any other writer up to that time, imbued it with its particular greatness. And finally we see Austen - the writer; the artist; the serious, ambitious, clear-sighted woman “of information” - fully aware of what was going on in the world around her, clear about what she thought of it, and clear that she set out to write about it and to quietly, artfully make her ideas known.

Thoughts: Damn that synopsis. Advice for publishers: create an engaging synopsis in one to three paragraphs. That being said this was a fascinating read. I love Austen so I enjoyed having more context to the stories. Great for women’s studies, english literature and a perspective of slavery rarely mentioned (at least in my readings).

Rating: 9/10 will enjoy if you enjoy Austen

[straymonbap]

could i request a friends to lovers scenario/bullet list with ravi where you're also a producer? thank you~

i’m not sure if you can call this friends to lovers but i tried my best! also am so excited that ravi is on his first solo europe tour and that i’m getting to meet and see him in less than two weeks!!! 

also this got a bit long

ravi friends to lovers!au producer!au

you had first worked with jellyfish as a company from back home in your homecountry

you had been a part of the producers who made Eternity album

the song you helped out most with had been Love, Lalala

so that had been the first time you were in contact with vixx as a group

after that you had worked with multiple other kpop groups  

soon your name was bouncing back and forth between albums and companies

jelpi were the first one to actually offer you a position

they offered you a deal to come work with them in seoul

and they promised that you’d be allowed to work with other companies too

and so you took up on that offer

in two months time you were flying across the world to seoul

jelpi had gotten you your own officetel apartment

and you even had your own studio

it was small but it was perfect for you

in just about a week you had made the studio more homey

from the start there was only a desk

a chair

a mic

computer

and the other technology to make music

but after that week there were red dimming lights

a succulent

a lava lamp

a few posters

and a couch

that was one of your fave spots

but it was difficult being the new one in the office

and if that didn’t help

the fact that you didn’t speak almost any korean

yikes

but you had started working with people already

you helped producing on roll deep with hyuna

honestly by monsta x

debut song glassbead by gfriend

turn me back by 1punch

that song was my jam

i’m a woman too by minah

just tell me by myname

and many more

but you didn’t meet a lot of the artists themselves

most often you met with their company representatives and producers

you were happy to see the songs do well

and when they were on tv promoting you’d atleast watch every performance of the song for the comeback week

but you still felt kind of lonely after three months in seoul

you had met the artists of jelpi a handful of times

but never really started hanging out with them

but that all changed

you were sat in your chair in your studio

feet propped up on the edge of the chair as your fingers worked the keyboard

you were interrupted by a knock on the door

you weren’t even sure if it had really been a knock

because the music had been so loud

but you stopped and turned around

and through the blurry glass window you could see someone standing on the other side

“come in” you yelled

carefully the door opened and none other than the rapper of vixx peeked in

“oh, hello”

you were quickly up on your feet and bowing to him

he gave you a slight bow and cleared his throat

“am i.. i.. you’re busy?” he struggled with his english

“no, i’m not busy.”

“i need help”

so with that you had followed him to his studio one floor up

somehow you understood eachother

he had tried explaining that he needed help with a track he was making

you were seated in an office chair he had hastily gotten from another room

he was playing one of his tracks that he had gotten stuck with it

leaning forward slightly in the chair you watched the track on the screen and listened to the song

there was definitely something missing

when the song ended you continued looking at the screen

ravi turned to look at you beside himself

he had known about you since a little before you came to jelpi

and since a lot of the songs you had been part of were out he hoped you’d be able to help

you shuffled your chair forward and looked at him

“may i?” you reached for the mouse and he let go of it

you smiled before going to the start of the track you bit your lip

you pulled his music board a bit closer to yourself

turning it on you tested out a few notes

finding what you were looking for you tried out a few melodies before recording snippets

ravi watched you work

your fingers were moving back and forth over the board

your hand moving your sound clips on the computer

five minutes later you hit play

the song started

in silence the two of you listened to it

the horror movie soundtrack effects (I DO NOT KNOW MUSIC ALRIGHT) you had added in the back gave the song a new feel

you hid the lower half of your face behind your sleeve covered hand

when the song ended ravi smiled and leaned back in his chair

“thank you” he said

you let out a breath

and that was how you had become a co-producer to ghost

when the album of vixx lr finally released in august you had been invited to the debut showcase

you had been on the second floor of the hall

and you had been amazed when he performed it

the song had turned out even better than what you remembered

after the evening of making ghost you and ravi had started hanging out a bit

first you two always greeted eachother in the hallways of the company

then ravi started coming by late at night to check if you were still around

which you often were

while he promoted with leo on lr you didn’t see eachother that much

and you went back to doing music alone

when they won 1st he had sent you a picture of the award

you had managed to send him ‘congrats’ in korean with some party popper emojis after some googling

and he had let out a chuckle in the car beside leo when he received your message

it was weird how you and ravi had somehow clicked

when they a few days later ended their promotions he was back at the company again

you were sitting in your studio when there was a knock on the door

“come in” you yelled

but you didn’t turn your head until you finished what you had just started changing

when you finally turned around ravi was standing by the door

“oh, hi ravi” you said and shot him a smile

“are you working?” he asked and stepped towards you

his eyes glanced curiously at your computer and you smiled

“yes. i’m almost finished”

he nodded and sat down in the two seater couch you had somehow squeezed into the room

you did some few adjustments before saving it for safety

“want to hear it?”

he nodded and you hit play

the music was done for the song

you just needed to find someone who wanted the song

and the lyrics

ravi sat quietly listening to the music and before it even got halfway he turned to you

“can i have this?”

you looked over at him with furrowed your brows

from what you knew of ravi and vixx then this was nothing that you would hear from them

“for vixx or for…?”

“for vixx” he said and you shrugged

“sure”

you also had another song for vixx that you had made

and that was how ravi had gotten heaven to vixx

and how you had given them chained up

working along with ravi became a weekly thing

up until the comeback with chained up

during their time of promotions you barely saw him

or the other members of vixx for that matter

basically you and ravi would start producing music together

sometimes you would sneak over to his studio with your laptop

sometimes he would come to yours

then at times he would be away

to japan, china, america

just around the world

but the two of you would keep contact

through kakaotalk

and your korean started improving a lot

you had started going to morning classes at a language school just a few blocks away

and you always tried your best to talk in korean with ravi

and writing for that matter

you didn’t know what to call your relationship to ravi

you would have said you were friends if it was someone else

but since he was famous you felt weird calling it friendship

you thought that he probably just saw you as a collegue

but when vixx released zelos album

and they were asked about their title ‘dynamite’ in an interview

and he said that his friend composed the song

aka you

then you felt your heart swell with happiness

that summer you worked a lot

you helped with still lonely and chuck with seventeen

ex girl with monsta x and wheein

good luck by aoa

l.i.e by exid

say yes by sistar

but mainly with gugudan’s debut song wonderland

you had once again been invited to the showcase

the girls were sooooo nice

you had actually been the main producer of the album

it had been a stressful two months until the debut

and when it was finally out you were so happy

ravi had even passed by your studio late the night of the release of gugudan’s album

with flowers to you

when he had stepped in and you saw the flowers he held out to you you couldn’t help but let out a laugh

“thank you” you said and took the flowers from him

july for you had been busy

you had once again helped out with a lot of songs

some of them were

u and me, and freaky by hyuna

love paint by nu’est

who’s that by got7

fanfare by sf9

a lot more were produced and released

but once november rolled around and vixx ended their promotions for kratos your life went back to not as busy

as vixx didn’t promote anything you and ravi were back again to working together

but ravi was busy

he was preparing his second album but no one really knew about it

you were one of the people he had told

most evenings you let him be by himself

you guessed that the album was personal to him so you didn’t want to disturb him

but ravi missed your presence

over the summer and beginning of fall the two of you had grown even closer

there had been moment when you were stuck with songs

like when working on queen for monsta x

when you just had to get away from you work for a while

and you had always ended up knocking at his studio door

he always let you in

and most times you ended up laying on his couch

while ranting to him

most times in english

he understood your worries partly

but he always listened

he would watch you ramble on with a soft smile on his lips

he always stopped everything he was doing

the worst thing that had happened was when you were producing skydive for b.a.p

he had found you crying out of frustration under your desk in your studio

you had just been so frustrated because it felt like nothing worked

and you had a deadline for that song coming up

you had just been so stressed

at first ravi had let out a laugh when he saw your legs sticking out from under the table

but when he had seen your tear streaked face he had quickly changed

“hey, what’s wrong?” he had squatted down in front of you

you had pulled the hood of your shirt down over your face

“nothing is working” you had mumbled

ravi had sat with you for a while

neither of you had said anything

“come here” he had said and taken a hold of your hand that was resting beside you

he had pulled you out from under the desk and given you a long hug

it had felt nice

comforting

then he had dried your cheeks

lowered your hood and patted your head

not much had actually been said the rest of the night but you had somehow gotten strength from him

you had ended up finishing skydive and also another song that you sent along with skydive to ts

the next day ravi had appeared the next evening with fried chicken in your studio

with your quickly improving korean you and ravi managed to actually hang out a lot

now back to him missing your company

ravi was listening to one of his tracks that he had finished

he tried to finish the lyrics

but he couldn’t concentrate

he could only think about the fact that you hadn’t come by his studio in over a week

it was already the beginning of december and you had decided that you would not go back home to visit your parents over christmas that year

instead you’d work

you were currently working on the song that would later become dreamcatcher’s chase me

you were in the middle of doing the piano intro when there was a knock on the door

“come in” you yelled out

ravi couldn’t help the small smile on his face when he heard your voice through the door

he opened the door and stepped in

glancing over your shoulder you shot him a smile before finishing on your computer and turning towards him

“hi” you said

“hi” ravi said and sat down on the armrest of your couch

“is everything coming along well?” you asked and he nodded

“feeling stressed?”

“a little bit” he admitted and you nodded

the two of you somehow ended up at a restaurant not far away from the company

over some stew and a few bottles of soju you two talked about music and producing

both of you were just a teeny tiny bit drunk when you walked back to the company

and you both fell asleep in his studio

you on his couch and him in his chair

in the morning when he woke up you had already sneaked off and he was left alone in his studio

in your slightly hangover state you had managed to actually make something decent and later the following spring it had become got7’s paradise

ravi had also made a song

and the lyrics had come to him immediately

he then sat on this song for few weeks before it was announced that he would be releasing his album r.eal1ze

you had been part of the album making with home alone

two days before his solo concerts started he had texted you

asking you to come to his studio

and so you had

you had knocked carefully on the door before entering

the second ravi had hit send on the text message he had tossed his phone away from him

he had gotten nervous and the moment you opened the door he could feel his hands almost start shaking

he had busied himself with clicking through his computer

he had everything ready already but he wanted to distract himself for a few seconds more

you sat down on his sofa

he finally turned towards you and you smiled at him

“are you nervous for you concert?” you asked and he smiled

he shook his head before sitting up a little bit in his chair

“i wanted to show you one of the songs before it’s released” he said

he clicked a little bit on his computer before the music started and his voice started talking

then what you recognised as ken’s song started singing

you tried listening to the lyrics

for 4 minutes the two of you sat in silence as the song played

the lyrics were about being in love with someone who necessarily isn’t good for you

when the song ended the two of you sat in silence for a while

you weren’t really sure how to take it

the song had already been given the okay from the company and was already deemed as finished

but the lyrics were somewhat telling

but once again you didn’t want to think too hastily

“i made it for you” ravi said silently as he turned towards you

his gaze was on a point beside you on the couch

you looked up at him

was this a type of confession?

“what?” you asked silently

he leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face

“i made this song for you. it’s my confession song to you” he said and you could now see how nervous he was

you sat silent for a while again

now staring down at the floor

ravi felt how his nervousness just increased

to not have to look at your direction he turned back towards his computer

“can you play it again?” you asked and he nodded silently before hitting play again

you listened even more intently to the song

ravi was staring at his screen intently

maybe his idea had been stupid

you probably didn’t like him the same way

and now you’d probably never come back to his stu-

his thoughts were interrupted when he felt your arms wrap around his neck from behind in a hug

you had gotten up and sneaked up behind him

wrapped your arms around his neck in a backhug

and leaned your chin on his shoulder

“thank you” you said and pressed a soft kiss onto his temple

ravi couldn’t help the relieved sigh and smile that came

you felt him relax and you unwrapped you arms around him

he turned his chair around so that he was facing you before he stood up

“is it okay if i kiss you?”

you could only nod

the next second his hands were cupping your cheeks

and the next his lips were against yours in a soft kiss

[rmwithluv]

50 questions! my lovely wifey ( @moonojoon keeps me active i swe- kajsjsjsjsjdkx ilysm! )

1. what takes up too much of your time?

haaa college honestly.

2. what makes your day better?

puppets, frands, food, youtube

3. what’s the best thing to happen to you today?

i woke tf up lol

4. what fictional place would you like to go to?

hogwarts duh! im a wizard bitch

5. are you good at giving advice?

i’ve been told i am but honestly some times ya girl has no idea whattt tf she’s saying

6. do you have any mental illness?

i’ve struggles with mental illnesses and i think at times they can come back and bite ya so atm life is grand my friend.

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

BITCH YES! twice in the same day actually lmao, small story time, the first two times were at school lmao i was sleeping in the hallway and although i was scared all i could think was, “holy shit if my friends see me like this they’re gonna think i’m weird asf” and then a couple hours later after an exam i was resting and it happened. the final time (dear god pls don’t let it happen again) i legit saw shadow people and felt freaked tf out. okay bye

8. what musician inspired you the most?

honestlyyyyy there’s so many but rn i can honestly say normani

9. have you ever fallen in love?

hahahahaha yes. the first one hurt like hell and i’m currently falling over and over again :)

10. what’s your dream date?

a picnic with beautiful cheeses, breads, sandwiches, snacks, ohhhh yaaaasss

11. what do others notice about you?

usually it’s my figure or my ass lol

12. what is an annoying habit you have?

procrastinating, overthinking, and eating ice

13. do you still talk to your first love?

yesss, he’s my best friend

14. how many exe’s do you have?

i always get confused with this bc i’ve had flings, lovers, and many more soooo yeh

15. how many songs are in your playlist?

i have over 18 playlists sooooo?

16. what instruments can you play?

noneeeee

17. what do you have the most pictures of?

myself bc im that bitch (i swear i’m not this confident lmao) memes, my friends, family, a certain wang, and ofc bts

18. where would you like to go before you die?

europeee!

19. what is your zodiac sign?

pisces (no wonder my wife and i get along so well)

20. do you relate to it?

h e l l y e a h

21. what is happiness to you?

being able to say i’ve had a rough week but i’m able to sit here and continue on honestly. life sucks ass sometimes but knowing i’m stronger than the obstacles ahead of me is happiness.

22. are you going through anything right now?

n o p e!

23. what’s the worst business decision you ever made?

not dropping my psychology class first semester & honestly me with money is just eh but i’m getting better!

24. what’s your favorite store?

bookstores, cafe’s, target, and ofc 3rd street promenade

25. what’s your opinion on abortion?

im pro-life buttt at the same time having a child isn’t easy and you never know what someone’s going through so ultimately i’m pro-life but it’s your body! do what’s best for you.

26. do you keep a bucket list?

yes actually! my lover made me make one bc he wants to take me to all the places i’ve never been :)

27. do you have a favorite album?

sweetener, anything one direction (basic i know, ed sheeran’s +, and many many more.

28. what do you want for your birthday?

if i could see my all of my lovely friends on here, trust me i’d take that in a second!

29. what are most peoples first impression of you?

scary, pretty bitch, bitchy and intimidating.

30. what age do you seem according to most?

honestly it depends on what i look like, some days ppl think i’m like 14? and others they think i’m my age.

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

right next to me.

32. what word do you say the most?

love that for me/you/them (wait is dat a phrase?) whet, uwu, nuuu, i luh u

33. what’s the oldest age you would date?

21!

34. what’s the youngest you’d date?

18!

35. what job/career do most people say would fit you?

model (psh i’m short asf) or actress

36. what’s your favorite music genre?

music in general

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

i enjoy where i’m at but i’d love to live in any part of europe for a year or two

38. what is your current favorite song?

ivy by frank ocean comes to mind rn

39. how long have you had this blog?

this one for a couple months now i assume? but i’ve had previous blogs. overall i’ve been on tumblr for around 6 years now

40. what are you excited for?

transferring into the university of my dreams and getting into their nursing program!

41. are you a better talker or listener?

def listener

42. what is the last productive thing you did?

cleaning my room

43. what do you want for christmas?

hmmm 🤔 im not sure yet but if i don’t have this soon then definitely james charles brush set

44. what class do you get the best grades in?

usually english/literature

45. one a scale to 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

8

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? a pediatric nurse

47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

when i was like 13? when i realized that my life size poster of liam payne would love me more than than the real one ever would.

48. what age do you wanna get married?

24/25/26

49. what career did you wanna have as a child?

i wanted to be a wonder pet lmao

50. what do you crave rn?

a croissant sandwich from burger king yo

im tagging: @namjoonieftw @fflowermin, @jeonpetals

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

Gambling bet

It's a booming night for gambling and auctioning. The people and whole place was in a masquerade like themed like the ones in a 19th century lectures I've once read...

But I was not expecting to be in one as a gambling 'prize'. I was in a cage, tied up from the back with a collar chained at my neck like an animal. My mouth was gagged to prevent me from saying or even screaming... even if I could, I doubt that will help me...

How did I ended up like this? Bendy DeMon. But his real last name is Drew... I was so close to nab him in that alley way until I got knocked out from the back... I was a fool for not realizing he had Boris Wolfenstein as his second hand man of the Alfonso mafia and now I've really gotten in a huge mess this time.

If I remembered correctly, this must be one of those black auctions slash gambling events only the social elites and exceptional takes place... Some of the items are from Europe and foreign regions that must have at least a thousand dollar value each! But there are some 'items' that are illegal like myself and I believed some dangerous weaponry or exotic animals...

“Our turn is up. You better not screw up more than you are now, ace defective.” I quickly looked at my right to see that demon smirking as I was transported to the stage as a center of attention. He was wearing his best black stripped gangster suit, complete with a black fedora and a demon mask. I gritted the cloth that was tied at my mouth as I glared. This is bad... I have to escape, but what can I do? This place is filled with influential and rich people who are no different than the crooks I've dealt with. If I do something reckless, they have the 'authorities' in their pockets to destroy me and anyone close to me... What would my father do in this situation?

“Our next item featured in tonight's event is a prize by the gentlemen  Mr. Dancing Demon. This one is one of the top member of the CPD and a detective. He's in no one's favor, but if you win the game against Mr. Dancing Demon, he will be 'yours.' You can use him as your personal pet, or use him to avoid minor incidences to stay on top of the 'law.' But if you found him too 'good,' you can always use his organs as a quick, pocket money or if you had 'desires,' he does have a nice body...” The announcer was treating me as I was a commercial item and I felt a lot of eyes gazing at me... I'm getting a whole mess of feelings of what they were thinking... But I can tell that I was an interesting 'prize' to win. I will admit... I'm terrified... If one of them 'wins' me, my life will be more like h3ll and then God knows what will happened to my nephews... My best bet in worst case scenario was to give them again to my uncle in Australia, but then again my cousin will trick them again...

I then noticed that there was a black table set up and there sat Mr. 'Dancing Demon' A.K.A. Bendy along his sidekick, Boris. His partner was wearing black suit and pants, but he had a large, grey fur over coat that made him look like a million bucks. He was also wearing a mask that looked like a wolf. “Mr. Demon, how would you like to do it? Auctioning or Gambling?” The announcer asked about my fate. I looked at him again and he thought about it for a minute... he then gave his answer. “I will gamble. I do admit I really do love the money, but this one... hehehe... oh, this one...” He was teasing me and then grabbed the chain. “I have sooooo much thoughts about this one... he wasn't easy to catch, but if any of you have anything that could give an 'equal' amount, I could just part with it... for now.” He then yanked me at him as I almost hit the bar. I grunted. Now I feel like his pet. “Now who's first?”

----Several card games later------

I can't believed that demon is 'winning' all of their money and some priceless items to boot!

There was a fairly amount of people who grabbed their 'pocket changes' and their values on this bet for me! Any card games like poker or black jacks, he wins it all. There's gotta be almost fifty thousand dollars in cash and value in total... There's a trick I 'detected' while I simply watched. If I can detect the 'trick' to anyone, I can use that as an advantage to unmask his cheat and then while they're 'distracted,' I can escape!

But what can I do? If I don't do it soon... Huh?

I then noticed the last odd person wearing a red mouse mask... that I think I've seen it before... He was also wearing a black and red detailed Chinese soiree suit. His hair was black with two curly buns I think I've seen them before. He was smiling underneath that mask and it made Bendy angry. I can tell judging from how he was gritting his teeth and trembling his hands. I then saw another figure who was a few inches taller than the other one. He was wearing another familiar rabbit mask. He was wearing a white with blue detailed Chinese soiree suit. His hair was also black but with twin pony tails... I think he's looking intensively at me behind that concealed mask... which sends a shiver down my spine. “Guess I can't see one without the other, huh?” Bendy said in a deep tone. “I can say the same thing for you and Mr. Wolf too. At least we can do fine on our own if we get separated.” The guy in a mouse mask said. “I should have known from your nicknames it was going to be you two. I'm done for tonight.” He was about to get up until the rabbit guy spoke. “We still have the right to challenge for the 'prize' as stated tonight's rules. We waited for our turn cause you have something 'rare' and doesn't belong here.” He then puts a suit case on the table. “What's that you got in there? Candy?” Bendy mocked the guy in the mouse mask. “Very humorous, Mr. Double D. But don't you think you're being unfair, again? My friend is ri-” *TACK! * Then there was a switch blade stab on the table that stun the crowd. “When I said I'm done, I mean I'm DONE! Just looking at those mask makes me wanna puke! We're leaving, Mr. Wolf.”

“What's the matter, Demon? You think you can't beat him in another card game? Or maybe you've ran out of luck because of the black cat's karma have kicked in? They don't like to be played 'rough' like you do.” The one with a rabbit mask smirked at him and it sets him off even more. “If we weren't in a social gathering, I would have 'loved' to have a couple of stuffed animal heads for my coats.” In a quick reaction, he tried to slash their masques but the rabbit grabbed his wrist just in time. The rabbit guy was then holding his grip really good to prevent Bendy of getting the upper hand. He must be a REALLY GOOD Chinese boxing expert cause I know Bendy is a knife handling expert next to his speed demon skills. “Still a karate freak, humping rabbit?” Bendy spatted. “I wouldn't even think of f#king with you with a stolen d!k, ya back stabbing demon.” The rabbit replied and I think he was glaring through his mask. I feel his murderous tension when he said that and I feel like I shouldn't try to make him angry if they win.

Or IF they try to bet on me.

“Guys! The host is coming! Knock it off!” The mouse whispered harshly and pointed an individual in white coming our way. They immediately break up before it escalates to a fighting scene. Under normal circumstances, Bendy would have done it, but I guess he's just 'behaving' at the moment cause I knew that he isn't the one who throw these kinds of auctions... And that there's other syndicates that benefits these events for 'rares' and other important 'essentials' for anything.

“Is there a problem?” The white man asked. Can't his clothing be any whiter than his mask?

“Not really, just personal issues. We both just wanted to take a chance of getting his 'prize' he presented. He can keep the rest he gained from others for all we care.” The mouse explained.

Just me?! Who are you both working for why would I be any use of you two IF you win? I better need to think of an escape, FAST!

“Mr. Demon. I'm sure that the evening isn't over yet and I wish to see at least one more card game of yours. Maybe that new card game you've made recently that became quite popular recently that's very challenging and tested your luck pretty harshly. Was it Double Memory?” He calmly questioned at Bendy after pleading for another game of cards. That made the demon perked his ears and I can tell from his mouth expression that interested him. “Oh? THAT game?” He then smiled wider and he made a nod to Boris as to hive him some sort of communication. The wolf reached in his pocket to take out two, unopened, cartoon Bendy themed playing cards. You've already have one deck opened already... Why two new ones and what is that 'Double Memory' card game? I did heard it once before in a rumor and nothing else... Keep listening.

“If I remembered correctly, that 'Double Memory' card game is  the same thing like the 'Memory' game with two exceptions. One is that it uses two decks instead of one. Two is that not only you need to match the numbers, but it has to be in the same suit. Like you need two exact identical cards to make a match.” The mouse explained.

“Correct, rodent. Now since I was the one who created that new game, I will choose the decks.” He then held the unopened packs together and held it close to his face. “Let's make this quick, shall we? I want to 'play' another but a different 'game' with this cat.” He then looked at me as if he had some sort of cruel ideas of what my fate will be. “First one who gets the most pairs wins.”

“Those cards... are they the newest toys you've recently released? They looked very high design.” The mouse innocently said. That makes the demon's grind wider. “Ah! So you finally noticed some better taste. My products needed MY personal touches on the marketing side and I wanted to be done professionally.” He then opens the deck and the cards were fairly scattered.“Compared to your father's puny ideas, mine were all beautifully well selected by yours truly. The design of the deck is far more elegant than the ones that was made originally.” The deck back design was mostly black with a golden like floral themed that resembles to a throne roses. I do admit it's very uniquely beautiful despite it was made by him. The mouse looked like he was in awe like a curious child who is choosing which ice cream flavor he wanted to pick. “I admit, Mr. Demon. You really did a fantastic job of making these wonderfully deck designs.” The mouse complimented. “I thank you for that, cheese brain. Now pick your first move.” Bendy impatiently replied.

The mouse took a few seconds to scan all of the cards on the table while playing with his index finger as if he was deciding which ones he'll pick first. “I shall start with five hundred.” I was nervous once he turned the first one with a four of diamonds. If he turns a wrong one, Bendy will have a turn... and he never loss a game yet tonight. He then reaches for another one across the table and... another four of diamonds! “Lucky rat... Just watch! I'll have my turn as soon as you fail.” Bendy rarely 'complimented.' Then the mouse took another card, a ten of hearts, then asked. “Say Old friend... I need to say this before I forget.” He then continues his turn as he reaches for another one. “I do admire anyone who's been having a hard time growing up as a child and made a name for themselves. I like it when someone who have a dream and they pursued it whether they made it or not. As long as they take responsibilities...” He flipped another exact match! Bendy then sneered his eyes at him. “The f#k you mean by that, mousey?”

But the mouse still has his eyes on the cards. “I'm sorry. Have I offended you when I said that? Don't get me wrong. I just sometimes have that envy of independence like yourself in your 'front' public image. I am barely in a position to make choices like you. The cards you made personally by yourself is one good example... I can't barely even ask for that... not just for marketing smarts... right?” He lifted his head a bit as if he's on to something. “Hm?” Bendy kept his cool and I think he was still sneering until... he surprisingly gasped as if he gets what he's saying. The mouse keeps getting the right cards as if he KNEW exactly where they are! Boris then whispered something like 'he's bluffing!' and it was impossible...

It then strike me what he means: Bendy have made these deck of cards specifically for cheating by making the deck designs HIMSELF!!! He noticed it like I did?!

I then saw the rabbit's grin grew wider and said. “You know, Bèndàn. Let me give you one piece of advice. If you're planning to use your 'front' business image with these tactics, make sure you're duly prepared.” Isn't that Chinese word means... ?!?! YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT MY NEPHEWS DON'T SPEAK THAT KIND AND TYPE OF LANGUAGE!!! If I wasn't tied up and gagged, I would have a WHOLE hour of lecturing you and ask who raised you!

I glanced back at the mouse as he was pairing the exact cards... No way! How did he figured out his trick like I did? Then there was a final flip... fifty two cards were all flipped. The white guy was impressed and gave a small applause. “Bravo, Mr. Souris. You have won a well deserved prize from Mr. Demon. I do admit, it's a very rare find, even in the Chicago's crime syndicates. I hope you'll be treating him well.” I then heard the cage's door opened by one of the staff members and I was handed to the two mystery guys who won me.

“Hey!” Bendy took out another deck with a different design, but it was just a regular one. “Just give me ONE more round! I will bet ALL of the money and the priceless items for him! Come on! He's not even worth THAT much compared in gold values!” He seems like he was determined to keep me for his 'interests' or something like that.

“Nah, that crap you've collected doesn't interest us. The cat is all we needed.” The rabbit replied as he held me close. I feel something in my chest. What is this feeling? Relief or was it...? No, never mind that. It must be stress over tonight's 'activity' and I'm not thinking straight right now.

Bendy was not done talking. “I'm not letting him go THAT easy! There's a rule about-”

“A penalty fine if we declined and leave the auction before the announcement is over, correct?” The mouse interrupted him. “Yes. It's a one thousand dollar fine to the organizer of tonight's event.” Boris cleared that specific rule.

“Okay! There!” The mouse then tossed another five hundred on the table, both Bendy and Boris choked. They weren't the only ones that were surprised. Who are they behind those masks and how rich they are? Not even Bendy would have bluffed or put that much amount for anyone but Boris.

“Oh! And before we forget...” The mouse said something but before I get to hear it, there was a bag that covered my head and the rest of that memory was blurred....

-------

It was all just twists and turns with the walks, cars and doors. I feel like it's one of those movies where they catch a 'suspicious' character and they brought them at their secret hiding spot, and I was the 'star.' How Ironic.

But what's really going on in my mind is who are they, what would they want with me now that I'm in their 'possessions' and how do I get out of this?

Paying all back wasn't exactly an option... I don't want to become their puppet like Bendy does with the other police men and women either...

I was then tossed on my back and was hand cuffed over my head. Judging from what I felt and positioned, I'm guessing it was a bed. I then heard somethings and they talked in a foreign language. I believed it sounded Chinese, based on my previous investigations with those people...

I then felt the bag removed from my head and it took me a minute to adjust the dimness of the room. It was dim, with only low lights to see that it's a luxurious private bedroom you might see in social elite movies.

I saw only the guy in red, but instead of wearing the same getup from that black auction, he wore some sort of a red and white track jacket, along with a black vest, red tie, black pants and he wore a beast themed facial mask. His eyes were black despite the dimness of the room.

He then removed the gag from my jaws and I took a breath of relief. “Thanks...” I told him. I'm still a bit cautious, but so far they seemed to act nice so I play along for now. He seemed cheerful and replied. “You're welcome! It's been quite an evening. Especially for that dancing demon himself. That card trick was very strategically challenging.” He then took out a card from the night table's drawer next to me that Bendy have made himself and showed the deck's design. He placed a finger on one of the tiny floral. “If I'm not mistaken, there's a rumour from the 'underworlds' about a certain pair of eyes that can detect more than just hidden secrets.” He then lifted his finger to reveal the 'glow mark' of another hidden floral.

It was so tiny yet so convenient for Bendy cause he can easily tell which card is which by temperature. After a few minutes, they slowly faded away so it would avoid of him getting caught. Sure, it would take a lot of work to memorized ALL of it and mastered the games, but the effort will be paid off fully in spades and tonight's winning rounds was the proof of it.

“I know for a fact that he hid most of the packs inside of Mr. Wolf's overcoat for heat and two more in his own pockets for the Double Memory game he played with you. What makes you think my 'unusual' eyes had anything to do with that rumor without any solid evidence?” Is he trying to bluff me into confessing about my 'sight' abilities? I may used them to detect lies but... I do not wish to use them 'willingly' if you know what I mean.

“I'm not forcing you to tell us, but based on our own 'investigations,' we can suspect that you don't always used them as a lie detector.” He winked at that statement and I was shocked. How much did... no, it's too convenient. He's just trying to make me spill the beans! So I decided to ask the most important question I had in mind, but then the other guy with a twin ponytail, who had a similar outfit he changed like him, but in whit and blue, said something in Chinese and then he went to another room. The other guy then came over to me with some threatening yet calming aura. Like one of those cool guys... I sensed something intense from him, not just from his glaring. “Who are you people and how did you know who I was?”

He answered this. “We're just somebodies who doesn't like certain somebodies like that Bendy Drew you've keep an eye on. You're may be equals apart that you don't play dirty like he still does, but you might be prove useful to us.” He then stomped his right foot on the side of the mattress next to me, indicating that he's not the 'joking' type and that he's probably much tougher than he looks... “So you're saying that you're not gonna reveal your names yet I'm somewhat 'valuable' to your needs... Look, I know that I might not have known much, but I did guessed that you and your partner had a history with Bendy. I'm surprised that you even know his real family name.” The only people who knew his real family name were very few aside myself. The rest were in coffins.

“Let's just say... We 'we're' allies a few years ago before he became the new leader of Alfonso Mafia. Call it a mistake for trusting someone who was similar to us, but we're currently keeping tabs on him just so that he's not gonna 'surprise' us again.” He explained their relations. “You guys were allies? For how long exactly? And how much did you know-MGR!” He then grabbed my jaw and made me look straight in his glaring eyes. He had that deep blue eyes that are very beautiful... and very terrifying at the moment. I feel like a scaredy cat being in a stare down against a, intimidating blue eyes, white dragon.

“I just said that we 'used' to be friends, it doesn't mean we're still in touch with each other.” He 'clarified' it. “Ny-ok! You guyz are in neutrwal in 'public' evwent aftwer whatwever happened.” I struggled to say it and then he lets go of my jaw. I took a breath of relief before I continue. “So... why did you guys rescued me, despite you'll probably ain't gonna have all the money right away? I've-”

“Got two nephews that are currently in your care after an incident with your late father and sister. Despite that you had relatives that can raise them, you yourself wanted to care them instead. After graduated from high school, you went straight into the police academy and was an exceptional student. Despite your height, you had that speed, quick thinking and also that 'unusual' detection that got you on top. Of course, you also had a few friends like Sheba and Kitiana to help out, but after the incident with your own, you wanted to do your cases alone after you got more independent from the top brass. Guess what happens when you get too overly confident?” He took a part of my biography and explain it to me like he new me 'very' well.

I was stupefied... and I didn't need my 'sight' techniques to tell that he was smirking at me like he was taunting me to crack under his 'joker' persona. “How much did you knew about me before you 'rescued' me?” My curiosity tingled. “Just enough to understand your background before we... 'co-operate' with one another. You may be a sticker to the rules, but I can see you're not a slouch nor a corrupted copper.”

He wants to what? Co-operate? With people that I didn't know well aside they knew Bendy behind his public image? This is too suspicious. I then noticed that the guy in red came back. “I'm back! Did you guys behaved well?” He said in a cheering tone. “We did, just talking.” The guy in blue said plainly. I wanted to give my opinion, but judging from his actions and my position, it's best that I stay on his good side. The red one then asked the next important question. “Did you wanted to negotiate of that one thousand dollar debt? It wasn't exactly easy for us to get it... without being detected in public image.” So these guys have a public image? I mean, that explains the money but I don't recall anyone in the social elites in Chicago with those particular hair styles nor features... Not even the underground rumors here had people like them.

But for now I'll focus on that 'negotiation.' “What exactly do you meant on 'co-operating?' I don't work with shady people. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate for rescuing me from Bendy or in worst case scenario, sold to a crooked rich criminal, but I'm not gonna start playing 'dirty' for whatever you guys want do to get even with that crooked demon. I still have my standards!” I don't want to soil my father's honor in the name of justice by being crooked to a pair of vigilantes who hated the same guy as I did. The guy in red then broke it down to me. “Oh! I'm sorry. Guessed we had a misunderstanding here. See, we're not asking to 'cover' for us whenever we slip up, it's more like... keeping an eye out on Bendy until he's permanently behind bars. Easy, right?”

...what?

“Let me translate for you.” The guy in blue then said as if I didn't understand a single thing. “We needed someone from the law side that keeps us informed in this city. As much as we have numerous ears and eyes on these streets, we needed at least one person in the police department to keep us informed on what and where is this demon and wolf is doing.”

I wasn't that confused, but I had to ask. “Just that? You expect me to keep an eye out for him and Boris? Then what about that stuff about my personal life? I'm sure that-OW!” The blue guy then grabbed my collar tight, lifted me close to his face and glare me down again. “You are not in that position to decide on your own accord, remember? We can easily kill you, let you live or give you a more living h3ll.” His eyes were sending shivers down my spine. “You are 'ours.' However, that black cat's luck have shine upon you since we do show mercy. All we asked is that you keep doing your 'detective' job as usual and if we asked for an update, you'll provide your information from the law side of things. But don't say 'just look at the morning papers' crap, we know that you and your group of three don't always give the whole crucial evidences to the department.”

He then lets go of my collar and my head fell back on the pillow. I tsked. “So what you're saying is that I have to share classified information to a pair of vigilantes who used to be my enemy's friends so you may have a chance to get revenge like I would? And how can I trust you two if you're not gonna use me as an escape goat if things get out of hand?”

They both looked at each other for a few seconds until the guy in blue nodded. The guy in red then whispered a 'Thank you' as if he was happy to have that permission. Even with that mask, I can tell he was smiling. They then turned to me and the red one said. “If we unhand cuffed you now, reveal our identities and tell you our stories of how us and Bendy came to be, will you be our ally?”

I was surprised. “Seriously? Even tough we just met aside your partner had made a background check on my personal life?” Are they really going to risk their identities to someone like me? “Did I also mentioned that you've helped some people out of morale, despite that it goes against the law itself?” The blue one pulled that fact. “Like how you manage to catch a minor fruit vendor thief, only to found out that he only stole it to help his struggling working mother from hunger. So you helped them out a bit until they were fine and never reported it.” I was even more surprised. He... even found out about that? It wasn't to benefit my image just... I tried to he humble and compassionate like my father would have done it.

If... if they believed to risk their identities exposure to me then... “I guess as long as it doesn't involves the innocents or criminal activities, I'll trust you two... and I'll co-operate for now.”

The blue one then uncuffed my restrains and I rubbed my sore wrists due to extensive time bounded. I looked up to them and asked one more time before they do anything else. “Are you still sure that you both are willingly to risk your identities to a cop like me?”

“If it's going to convince you of how serious we are to get that double-crossing demon and his doormat dog behind bars permanently, we'll take it.” The blue one said as they reached out for their facial masks.

Once they removed it, I was not prepared for this. Even if I was just an underdog detective, no amount of police training was prepared for this unbelievable moment that only happens in books or movies twists.

Upon their reveals, I recognized those two faces from anywhere. “Mickey and Oswald Disney... Holey tuna fish! I... How... why...” I struggled for words. I mean, sure it explains the money but that still leaves on their vigilantes life style and other things that relates to Bendy and the Alfonso mafia.

And if this made public, it's gonna be a huge talk of the decade! I felt like this is going to be a long night.

Mickey then started to speak. “Well, now that we didn't need to introduced ourselves, how about we start our story? Say, how we met Bendy before he became who he is?”

----- Author’s notes ------

AHHHH!!! It feels so LONG to write a fanfic, even for a one-shot. It’s been busy and frustrating these past few months with the holidays, work, and my motivations that drains me. I hope you’ve enjoyed a little BBTIM AU fan story here.

So on a side notes, I did got this inspiration from an anime scene from the Lupin the 3rd series, ‘the woman called Fujiko Mine' back in 2012 and also the card game of ‘Double Memory’ was also from that gambling anime called ‘Kakegurui’ in episode 2. So I hope I’ve explained it well cause like I’m trying to be more honest, my story explanation sucked so I hope you might get that idea here and there.

Anyways, hope you like an alternate story line of how Felix met Mickey and Oswald in the BBTIM universe.

BBTIM humanized characters belong to Marini4.

[spoonfulofsexy]

Nervous

PART 3

(SHAWN MENDES X READER)

Part 1   Part 2  Part 4  Part 5

AN: Okay so this chapter is way longer than the other two. I didn’t really know what I was doing but I was just letting it flow out of me! It’s just a cute chapter to build the relationship! Once again I’d appreciate feedback or opinions and I really appreciate all the notes on the last two parts.

Shawn tried to keep himself busy; even though he was on break he was still brainstorming a song.  It was Friday night and he decided to have some of the guys over to help him with his latest attempt at a song and to just hang out.  It was the classic boy hang out, some sport on the tv with random guitar thrown in from Shawn messing around with the chords.

Geoff comes over to Shawn with a beer in his hand and leans against the couch. “Soooooo Teddy tells me you've been seeing a girl”, he casually says with a teasing smirk.

Just the thought of you throws Shawn off and his fingers fumble with the strings making a very awkward noise.  He looks up at Geoff not sure if he should play it off or finally express these feelings he’s been trying to deal with. “Well technically I’ve only seen her twice”, he says all cool, and looks back down at his guitar.

Teddy hears the conversation from where she is and comes over with an eye roll. “Yeah but you like her don’t you. I haven’t seen you look at a girl like that since-”, she gets cut off by Shawn.

He clears his throat to keep her from finishing. “Since no one…. She doesn’t compare to (Y/N)”, he sheepishly admits, keeping his voice low.  

Teddy puts her hands up trying not to offend him. “Oh sorry didn’t mean to go there.”

“It’s fine”, Shawn breathes out and goes back to casually strumming his guitar.

She smoothly slides onto the couch next to Shawn and puts a comforting arm around him. “You knooooow, she asks about you”, she says with a smirk because she knows he will be interested in that.

His head instantly perks up, his heart thudding hearing that. “R-really?”, his eyes already bright at the chance of mutual interest.  “What does she ask?”, he asks curiously trying not to sound too eager about this, which makes Geoff laugh because it’s pretty obvious.

“Oh you knooow, just like if you’re usually really busy or what you like to do…. If you’re single”, she smirks and wiggles her brows.

“Oh- that’s cool”, Shawn bites the inside of his cheek to try to hide his smile. He couldn’t be more elated to hear that you’re thinking about him just as much as he’s thinking about you.  His leg starts to bounce a little thinking about Sunday. “So…. is she single?”, he peaks back up at Teddy.

“Lucky for you she is”, she smiles and gives him a little shake.

“So you really like this girl, huh?”, Geoff asks as he takes a sip of his beer.

Shawn bites his lip replaying the last day he’s was with you and he nods his head. “I’ve only hung out with once and she just- I can’t explain the way she makes me feel”, he says genuinely sounding like he’s struggling.

Geoff lets out a chuckle, “You knoooow you could try to express it with a song?”

“Well- that’s what I’m trying to do but I don’t know how I want it to sound like yet”, he sighs and runs his hand through his messy curls.

Teddy rubs his shoulder, “Don’t force it, just let it come to you.”

“Yeah yeah I know”, Shawn lets out a defeated chuckles and finally puts the guitar down for the first time all week.

Another anticipated Sunday comes and Shawn is finally prepared for once.  He’ll be ready when he walks through door. Shawn looks down at himself one more time to check out his outfit and take a breath.  He was little nervous today since Teddy had to cancel because she “has a doctors appointment”, so it would just be you and him.

Shawn opens the door and automatically looks at the spot you were at least week. There you were looking like an angel without even trying. He wipes his hands on his pants before coming over. “Hey (Y/N)”, he says with a cheerful voice.

You jump a little not expecting his voice and you let out a little giggle. “Hey! Sorry you scared me”, you get up from your seat to give him a friendly hug.

Shawn was not expecting that at all but he’s definitely not complaining. His hands rest on your back for a split second you guys are in each others arms. Of course, his cheeks flush pink when he gets a whiff of your sweet perfume. As he pulls away his hand brushes against your soft hair. “S-so Teddy abandoned us”, he chuckles trying to keep this from being weird and sits across form you again.

You roll your eyes jokingly, “Yeah, I should’ve seen it coming with all her fake coughing.”

“Oh she even committed to the coughing?”, he laughs amused as he peaks over at the menu, his eyes darting over to you every few seconds.

“Oh yeah, she called me”, you laugh and shake your head as you swirl your spoon around in your drink.

“Wow and I only got a text”, he pretends to be bitter and you let out another heavenly laugh that makes his heart flutter. “I’ll be right back”, he smiles and gets up to order a drink and comes back with an iced matcha tea.

“Matcha?”, you ask with a curious brow.

“Yup, I wasn’t in the mood for coffee today!”, he takes a long sip and rests his temple against his hand. “Sooooo what do you like to do? Are you working?... Sorry you actually don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to”, he instantly takes his words back not wanting to have offended you if you weren’t doing anything.

You chuckle at him and shake your head. “You’re all good, don’t worry! I’m doing an internship, just trying to get some experience… what about you?”  

His brows perk up surprised you asked about him because he figured everyone knew about his business. “Oh uh- well I’m taking a break before I have to do some festivals in Europe”, he tries to make it sound as casual as possible so it doesn’t sound like he’s bragging.

“No way! That’s so awesome! Sounds like a fun summer”, you chuckle trying to keep him comfortable.

“Yeah it’ll be fun! I’m a little nervous because I’m going to be singing some new stuff but I’m sure it’ll go well”, he forces a smile not trying to put his worries on you.

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard some of your new songs…. They’re really great, I don’t know how you come up with stuff like that”, you say genuinely meaning it because you’ll hear his stuff and would have never imagined being able to write a song like that.

Shawn laughs and looks up at you from his drink. “I think you could if you really tried”, he says in a playful voice. “You just need inspiration then it’ll come to you!”

“Okay soooo I’ll write a song about how good this latte is!”, you pull a little notebook out of your purse and a pen.  You flip to a clean page and tap the pen against it.  “Hmmm now how should I start this?”

Shawn watches you with literal heart eyes, even though he knows you’re just playing around he’s pretty interested in what you’ll try to do.

“This latte fills and warms my soul…. Like a nice bowl… of soup”, you chuckle at your terrible “attempt”.

“I liked where you were going with the rhyming”, Shawn laughs and looks back up at you.  Your eyes meet mid laugh and in that moment you swear you could just feel this connection between the two of you.  Shawn’s chest tightens when he sees that sparkle in your eyes and he holds his breath as time seems to stop for that one second.

You bite your lip and look down at your writing to hide the redness coming to your face. “T-thanks”, you stutter out and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Let’s see what it sounds like!” Shawn peaks at your paper again and clears his throat.  He sings your made up lyrics and somehow makes it sound like the most soothing song that leaves you absolutely breathless.

You look up at him with a dropped jaw. You knew he was a good singer but wow did he sound amazing in person. “Shit”, you breathe out a chuckle. “That sounds like a hit”, you say playfully and try to pretend you weren’t totally starstruck by him.

“That’s what I was telling you”, he teasingly flicks your pen in your hand with his finger.

The next couple hours just fly by and you two don’t even realize how long you’ve been there till you get a text from Teddy asking how it went.  “Oh wow it’s four already”, you say pretty surprised.

“Oh shit-”, Shawn chuckles and checks his phone seeing texts from his family group chat. “I have to go over to my parents for dinner soon.”

“Oh well don’t let me hold you back”, you chuckle and gather your stuff again.

Shawn playfully glares at you, “(Y/N) there’s nothing holding me back.”

You let out a loud laugh and cover your mouth. “Wow I didn’t even mean to do that!”

“Right sure you didn’t”, he kiddingly rolls his eyes as the laughter dies down. “So- uh I was thinking maybe we should meet up on other days too…”

Your nose crinkles at how cute he is when he gets shy. “Yeah I like the sound of that…. How about Wednesday night for dinner? I’m free after 5!”

His eyes widen at how easy that was and nods his head excitedly. “Y-yeah that sounds great! Should I pick you up?”

“No it’s okay”, you smile not trying to come off rude. “I’ll just meet you there!.. Here, you probably should have my number.” You grab a napkin and write your number on it before handing it to him. “Text me so we can figure out a place to go!”

“Okay- yeah I can do that”, he stares at the numbers as he gets up. “I guess I’ll see you Wednesday”, he says with a wide smile and rosey cheeks.

You get up and give him a quick hug before he has to dart out. “I’ll see you Wednesday.”

[prettylittlecostumers]

Cine Costumier: Wilde (1997)

I must confess: my dislike of how movies depict W.B.Yeats is directly proportional to my love of his poetry. So, in keeping with both the week’s theme and our Pride Month Movie Marathon, I’ve chosen a movie about another great Irish writer, my most beloved playwright and the fastest tongue in Late Victorian Europe, the one and only Oscar Wilde.

The movie “Wilde”, released in 1997 has Stephen Fry as Wilde. The physical similarities are uncanny, and all I’ve read so far says his performance was brilliant as was Jude Law’s (Wilde’s lover Bosie) and pretty much everybody else’s too. Plus, Orlando Bloom’s first part was in this movie. He appears briefly as a “rent boy”. The movie won a lot of prizes too. I never watched it before, and the narrated trailer was sooooo dated it made me cringe, but I’ll watch tonight and as usual, if I like the costumes, they’ll be on our Pinterest soon. Wilde was known for his fast wit, so if the movie has plenty of it, I might even GIF it and post here too! That’ll be fun!

Again: queer history isn’t always happy. Wilde certainly suffered for being who he was. So beware and enjoy the movie and enjoy our own happy endings, which we can have due to these people’s sad ones.

Have a nice weekend! I’ll be back on Monday!

[ohmy7hearts]

Being an Amazon and Tim Drake's significant other

A/N: Okay sooooo this may turn into another series because this headcanon doesn't have the part of you actually dating Tim lol. On another note, I had lots of fun having a horror movie marathon with my friends yesterday. How was your day?

Requested by/Credits to: @warrioredqueened

next

You were sent from Themyscira to personally inform Wonder Woman about the Gargareans invading Man’s World; ending all wars, especially the civil wars in the middle east. This includes them killing both sides involved in these wars and even going to the extent of killing the political leaders that initiated them and the warmongers profiting from them

However, you were attacked by the winged lions of Gargareans and were fending them off but not succeeding in escaping them

The Teen Titans, under Wonder Girl’s leadership, has just finished their mission and heading home but Beast Boy noticed a lady fighting off weird looking creatures when they were flying over vast land so he urged his team to help and they did

You were surprised at the help you received and nod your head as a gesture of thanks before trying to excuse yourself to finish your mission

“Wait, you're an Amazon, right? Why don't we help you? You seem to be in a rush.”

“I appreciate the offer but I am only here as a messenger to Wonder Woman. It's crucial that I get back as soon as possible.”

“If that's the only thing you have to do, why don't we take the message on her behalf?”

“I can't, it'll be-”

“It'll really save you the time-”

“With all due respect Cassandra Sandsmark, this message is to be relayed only to an Amazon. A true-blood amazon.”

With that, you whistled for your horse and rode away at the speed of light while the team stood there, frozen in shock at what you implied

Superboy was enraged the moment it finally sunk in and was about to chase you when Cassie held him back with a shake of her head. The rest of the team begrudgingly obliged their team leader’s command and left

On the other hand, you arrived at Diana’s apartment hours later. Sticking out like a sore thumb in the city with your battle armour and horse, you received endless of side-glances, whispers of disbelief and mockery. This only deepened your hatred for men from your past

When you knocked on the door, she immediately invited you in before you reiterate what you have been told by the Queen. Diana was bewildered and instantaneously suit up to travel to the Middle East

"Would you do me the honour of fighting by my side in this battle?”

Always admiring the princess, without hesitation, you agreed

Unfortunately, under the rule of Queen Hippolyta, the Amazons would not be there to assist you two. The Amazons were asked by the Gods to not interfere therefore they followed their Queen’s strict rule to abide the Gods

The battle was uncontrollable considering it was taking place in the midst of a civil war. Despite the rigorous training you both had, you were overpowered by the Gargareans in terms of numbers. They, too, were skilled warriors. Furthermore, they have had a life worth of battles before their current existence

Luckily, the Justice League - along with the Teen Titans and former members - came to the rescue. Their main aim was to safely remove civilians in the crossfire and to subdue the two sides of the civil wars. The honorary Amazons, on the other hand, fought alongside you and Diana

It all came to an end with the loss for the Gargareans and that invoked the wrath of the Gods, mainly Apollo and Hercules, for their attempt at peace fell apart

You were summoned back to Themyscira thereupon the battle. Knowing your fate, you snuck off with a heavy heart

At the square, you were publicly banished from Themyscira for going against the Gods. Everyone was solemn over your parting, especially those who have taken a protective stance over you as you were one of the younger souls among them

You stayed in Europe, mainly Greece, and followed the footsteps of your hero - Wonder Woman - to bring peace to man’s world

You tried staying clear of men and only helping the women who have been mistreated by them. It was rare for you to aid the males, and when you did, they were dominantly boys

Rumors of a marvelous hero helping out the woman to stand on their own feet in Europe traveled to America. These rumors even dubbed you as Europe’s personal Wonder Woman

Accordingly, Diana was curious as to who this hero was so she planned to seek you out so imagine the consternation when she found you being this very hero

Evidently, she was proud but surprised to find you outside Themyscira; Amazons could not travel in and out of Themyscira easily due to the strict laws

Therefore, you confessed about your banishment which Diana felt liable for

Ridden with guilt, she proposed that you stay with her - under her care - but you politely declined as you wanted to branch off on your own

Being stubborn, she pressed on about you staying close to her and you couldn't help but lighten the burden she carried for feeling accountable for your choice to help her in the battle, despite numerous attempts at convincing her that your choice was yours to make and she had no faults in that

So, troubled and disconsolate, you hesitantly accepted the offer for you to join the Teen Titans

The next day, you were greeted with skepticism from your future Team. None being too happy at your arrival despite the lilt of joy in Diana’s voice when she introduced you

As Team leader, Cassie was obliged to formally greet you into the team so when she offered her hand, you shook it. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife

Diana, taking note of the strained relationship you both already formed, was dismayed but brushed it off with hopes of you opening up to her about it in the near future

Before leaving, she squeezed your shoulder as a form of reassurance and in that moment, you understood the underlying meaning behind her stare

In your peripheral vision, you saw a flicker of pain washing over Cassie’s eyes when she watched you two interact perfectly without words

The moment Diana was out of sight, out of the tower, Conner charged at you with unrestrained rancor

You dodged him, already expecting someone to leap at you when Diana was gone. With hundreds of years of training, you were at arm's length from his uncontrolled rage

Cassie tried stopping him but Rose and Gar held her back

Annoyed, you sent him crashing to the ground with a kick which prompted the rest of the members to be on full alert. At this point, Cassie rushed to Conner who was groaning in pain

You glared at them in warning before heading towards the rooms to find an empty one for you

“You don't deserve to be here; we don't trust you.”

To be honest, Tim’s abrasive tone stung and so did all the scowls aimed at you but you tried to pay them no mind as you walked out of the room

You stayed in your room all day despite not having anything to unpack or do. You didn't want to see anyone nor was anyone eager to see you too

When the moon was high and you were sure that no one would be up in the kitchen or on your way there, you made your way there to get your very late dinner and prepare your breakfast

Unfortunately, Tim came in while you were cooking as he wanted to get himself more coffee and the moment he saw you, his eyes turned to slits and malign words poured out of his mouth

You merely scoffed from the other side of the kitchen while you continued cooking and his staring did not waver

“You're being awfully protective of her. May I guess why?”

He was burning holes into your back at the mention of it and he was about to retort when you beat him to the punch:

“Is it not shameful and disgraceful to be pining over a girl who's sharing a requited love with your best friend?”

Tim’s stomach dropped and his mind raced at the idea of someone finding out his secret and the possibility of Conner and Cassie finding out. Before he could counter, you were already gone which left Tim growling at his coffee