#just...really terrible books
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audible-smiles · 11 months ago
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So, I think I may have accidentally found the worst book ever written by a human being.
I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Savitri Devi; she was a Hitler stan who moved from Greece to India, got really excited about "Aryan" racial mythology, changed her name, and tried to fuse Nazism with Hinduism. A lot of her ideology is patently absurd (e.g. Hitler is an avatar of Vishnu), but none of it is funny because she spent her entire life actively trying to build a coalition of the most violently racist people you can imagine. Hindutva paramilitary groups, American neo-Nazis, early ecofascists; you name them, she probably went to their meetings and wrote propaganda for them.
So, knowing this, it makes one feel particularly deranged to learn that she also wrote fiction about- and from the POV of- her many cats.
The book in question is called Long-Whiskers and the Two-Legged Goddess, or The True Story of a "most objectionable Nazi" and half-a-dozen Cats.
Published in 1965, this text features a protagonist named "Heliodora", who Devi admits in the introduction is just her lightly fictionalized self-insert. In the beginning Heliodora heroically rescues a stray kitten and its mother, but then the narrative grinds to a halt to explain the weird racial theories that brought her to India, before it picks right back up with the cat fancying. Here is an excerpt that may convey a little of how jarring these transitions can be:
"An unexpected thought crossed Heliodora’s mind, like a flash of lightning: “Had I gone to Europe in 1939, or even in 1940, 1 should not have had this lovely creature, nor, in fact, any of these cats to which I have given a home. They probably all would have been dead, by now — would have died of misery, in some gutter, without love, poor beautiful felines!” And a strange question followed that thought: “Was it for them that I was fated to remain here?” She knew the thought was a nonsensical one and the question too. For of what account was the life and happiness of any creatures, nay, of any human beings, including her own, compared with the Service of the Aryan Reich and of the Cause of truth?
It is all. Fucking. Like This. There are grim descriptions of feline suffering contrasted with long, ecstatic descriptions of her cats learning to trust the only nice human in the world (her). There are passages on the virtue of vegetarianism and the evils of (especially Kosher) slaughterhouses. She thinks it's a great idea to do medical experiments on criminals rather than animals! She thinks kids who throw rocks at cats should have their hands cut off! She starts chapters with direct quotes from Mein Kampf! When her favorite cat runs away she writes the (fully imaginary) story of his adventures on the streets, including him having cat sex. Here is the cat sex:
"The coquettish she-cat jumped up and ran away, only to stop again some twenty yards further and again to roll in the grass, calling for love, — and again to ran away as soon as the lover was about to take her. At last, however, — after many an unsuccessful leap and further and further galloping in the moonshine, Long- whiskers overcame her faked resistance and possessed her. He forgot himself, and she — his black silky panther — forgot herself. Their individualities ceased for a while to exist, and in him, the eternal He-Cat, Creator and Lord of everything, and in her, the co-eternal, sphinx-like, dark Feline Mother, Lady of all Life, once more mingled their opposite polarities and took consciousness of their double Godhead, as they had been doing for millions and millions of years. And once more the divine spark — the Creative Lightning — flashed through their furry bodies, and the daily miracle took place: there was life in the female’s womb."
Sooooo......anyway...........the lost cat finds its way back to her, but has caught feline distemper and dies in her arms, but then he is REINCARNATED IN ENGLAND, as a kitten in a decent (white) home where his family loves him. Heliodora is coincidentally going back to Europe at this time (she lists her religion as "national socialist" on the travel paperwork), which means we get pages and pages of her obsessing over every 'misstep' in the war, and Germany's tragic loss, but more importantly, she meets a random cat and he is (unknown to her), the reincarnation of her beloved Long-whiskers, the Cat Who Fucked. She sees that he's well-fed and happy and is like "I finally understand why Hitler was so nice to the British; they treat cats well so I guess they're Aryan too". I am not making any of this up:
“They have poured streams of fire over Germany; betrayed their own race; identified themselves with its worst enemies ...”
“Prrr, prrr, prrr,” purred back the cat; “that is because they had been (as they are still being) misled, deceived. But one day they shall wake up from their delusion, tum against their bad shepherds, and help the people of their own blood to build up a new Europe — the very Europe of your dreams, in which we creatures will all be happy — for they are good people at heart; good people like Aryans generally are, taken as a whole. Prrr, prrr, prrr . . . The proof of it is that they have taken such good care of me! Prrrrrrrrr . . .”
This version of her cat grows old and dies. Meanwhile, Heliodora is arrested and imprisoned for distributing Nazi propaganda. When she gets out, she meets the reincarnation of a different cat she had left behind in India. (All of her cats want to find her again after death because they love her so very much.) In between her banal, mundane descriptions of caring for this new cat, she describes her various arrests, interrogations, and brief periods of imprisonment. And then she moves, gives that cat away and gets another fucking cat. It is at this point where I completely lose track of which cat is meant to be the reincarnation of which other cat; this woman goes through cats like potato chips. She says she doesn't even love them as individuals, but as one piece of "the intangible Essence of Catdom", so I guess it doesn't fucking matter whether I know their names or not.
This woman's primary thesis is "human suffering doesn't matter, only animal suffering matters" and she beats it into the ground. Her secondary thesis is that national socialism is the one true religion and will save the world. Not only is this a deeply self-obsessed, morally incoherent, grotesque piece of writing, it is also boring as hell. It's half stories about how people who are mean to animals all deserve to get murdered, and half a travelogue where the protagonist goes on screeds about race-mixing every time she visits a new city. While you're reading it you feel as if time has stopped, and you will be stuck reading this terrible book for the rest of your life. All she knows how to do is repeat her two ideas over and over again. Honestly, it reads like heavy-handed satire of a very specific type of white woman. Heliodora wears golden swastika earrings.
I'm exhausted. Never read this book.
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egophiliac · 26 days ago
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I have never been more concerned for a JP update from your art than I am seeing a Cheka knowing the context of Leona’s dream.
My bois ok right?????? My sweet nephews ok right??????
well
uhhhh
I'm sure the real one is fine :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 11 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 11 spoilers#unfortunately leona's ultimate happy dream did involve his entire family dying tragically. them's the breaks.#(for the record he is a little messed up about this) (he is a little messed up about a lot of stuff)#the context of cheka is that they were going to try to shock leona awake by having him show up#however while styx could provide them with a 3d model based on a bodyscan (which they had for...reasons??) they had no data on his behavior#so he was basically just a little frozen mannequin#(the sprite was not t-posing but in my heart this was happening)#ruggie could kind of pilot him with his magic but it only lasts for a few seconds so he had to keep recasting it with noticeable choppiness#so while we don't get the entire effect due to the limitations of the format#this means that leona was in the middle of let-them-eat-cake'ing a revolution when suddenly#his late nephew bursts jerkily in through the door yelling OJITAN I'M ALIVE AND MY VOICE CHANGED OFFSCREEN#honestly they spent more time thinking of how to explain ruggie's terrible impression of cheka than anything else#how could leona have seen through this brilliant plan so quickly 🤔#man i really did love his horrible dream though#i like him as a character but i wasn't expecting his dream to be the one that got to me like that#love how all the savana dreams were like#jack: what if leona was really cool and my friend :)#ruggie: what if my dad came back and leona created a socialist utopia for me :)#leona: what if i finally got the chance to prove myself except i screwed everything up and everyone hated me and my family was dead#his conversation with kifaji at the end 😭#kifaji in his dream in GENERAL acting as a counterpoint to his phantom like. like!!!! (waves hands)#i just. these guys.#me 4+ years ago: this game looks so dumb i gotta try it. surely i won't become emotionally overinvested in any of this.
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buboplague · 3 months ago
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I've been on a small reading binge the last month, anyone have book recommendations? Any genre is fine, but preferably something a bit lighthearted, or easy/fun reads!
edit: oooo thank you guys!! I'll be checking out the ones I have library access to!
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Coming out as marius pilled since reading blood and gold
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ambient-arena · 1 year ago
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what if the narrative wasn't so horrifically fond of gideon. what if instead of the lobotomy harrow just straight up tore herself apart trying to pry gideons soul away from hers. what if she resorted to the same violent, animal desperation john did when trying to consume the earth but instead of trying to destroy she was trying to recover. what if harrow in an unimaginable fit of despair forced her entire soul and necromantic capabilities to their intense limits but it doing so inadvertently rendered the task she was trying to complete impossible. like trying so so hard to use necromancy to give gideon's soul back that she accidentally ended up cementing its place inside her as an eternal furnace even more. and then what if she just lived like that with gideons soul and memory inside her and it was terrible and everlasting. yeah what if also my brain is rotting out of my skull
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shreksstepfather · 4 months ago
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Liking Gray Wing not in the "he's wise and did nothing wrong" kinda way but in a "characters who sabotage their interpersonal relationships and defend heinous actions for the sake of someone who doesn't care if they live or die are really interesting" kinda way
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myokk · 4 months ago
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xxplastic-cubexx · 21 days ago
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im forcing you all to look shady-car-salesman erik
[What If Magneto Had Formed The X-Men With Professor X?]
#snap chats#DUDE WHAT IS THAT. I SCREAMED#also before any of you go read this dont it's so nothing. the title LIED it's the most nothing story ive read so far#thankfully this is only a one shot but man. i shouldve listened in that This Is Isn't Worth It#this is literally the only time erik's in the whole thing too btw bar a prologue recapping what happens in the og timeline#im so deadass like he also shows up in some bg shots but thats literally it he says nothing else beyond this page#'what if magneto formed the xmen with charles' god yeah what if. i sure wouldve loved to read that.#'what if they formed the xmen' genuinely yeah how did they do that. can we see that PLEASE.#the only perceivable difference is that erik lives at the x mansion and Probably isnt terrorizing people. and has this god forsaken look#i rescind my statement he's terrorizing ME with that beard and. //gestures everywhere else//#he looks like he's going to try to scam me into buying a shitty ferrari i cant ill take the viking beard just not this#also i think gaby and erik are just. inexplicably married????? they never cover that ???? thats just a thing to vaguely acknowledge#they dont even say it there's a book that's credited as 'erik magnus lehnsherr' and 'gabrielle haller lensherr' like ok. what.#they dont even properly tell us why eriks here or like. how erik and charles find the xmen. or why gaby's here vjeALKJEK#LIKE COOL HI GABS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE she's a mutant now. forgot about that. ???????????????#the weird plot did distract me from. Whatever This Is but now im focusing on it again and im dying#i think what's really killing me is the earrings like oh my god. wow ok. wow...... terrible choice !#if i squint i can imagine the ponytail's gone from his side profile and it's a lil better but ...... jljalKjalJA#anyway i said id read every xmen comic and. regretting some choices but we ball#for now im gonna go wind down ... maybe doodle a bit who's to say ..
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coquelicoq · 2 months ago
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this chapter/episode feels very classic short story...something so satisfying about how it resolves. the A plot and the B plot are solved by the same action because it turns out, unbeknownst to the characters and the audience, that they were directly connected the whole time. and because the storylines are so linked, the resolution of chobi's depression is twofold: he's touched by the effort his friends went to to get him something beautiful, and he's touched by the fact that the thing his friends think is so beautiful is actually a part of him that he had cast off and thought of as unremarkable. it fits together so simply and so elegantly that it seems just as natural as it is surprising. what a pleasing economy of storytelling.
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hopeless-eccentric · 5 days ago
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i dont do a lot of book recs on here (i think ive done one before?) but the Henry Rios books by Michael Nava are so criminally underrated!
They're these mystery novels from the 1980s-1990s about a gay, Latino lawyer (Henry Rios, our protagonist/narrator) solving mysteries--usually while trying to prove his client's innocence. He's a long-suffering idealist written as this kind of hard-boiled detective.
This is actually something the whole series tackles, subverts, and deconstructs in a really interesting way! Instead of being this stoic detective, the archetype gets broken down in a lot of really fascinating and human ways earnestly discussing love, grief, intergenerational trauma, racism, homophobia, illness/disability, toxic masculinity, and substance abuse.
What I love is that these books realize that the hard-boiled detective is stuck in a point of hurt and trauma, and so the Henry Rios series makes a big deal out of fighting tooth and nail to GET BETTER--whatever it takes to improve yourself and your surroundings. While the books maintain a lot of the dark and morose vibe of the original genre (especially given the looming, perpetual grief of AIDS-era queer lit), they always come back to a death match against apathy. It's really moving stuff, especially as the books take this approach to Henry's recovery from alcoholism.
if you're interested in queer history, the books are in touch with queer legal/political history during the HIV/AIDS crisis. The first few books have been rewritten/published as well since Michael Nava's retirement, so I think a comparative reading could be really interesting. For the record, Nava was a civil rights lawyer, so this is all done REALLY well (not to mention the legal drama is engaging, theatrical, petty, gutting, and sometimes hilarious).
if you're interested in detective fiction, they're brilliant deconstructions of the genre. instead of taking the depressed alcoholic white guy with repressed desire for male companionship at face value, the series considers a gay Latino man struggling with machismo, racism and homophobia, intersectional identity, and processing/recovering from grief, childhood trauma, alcoholism, and Catholicism.
Stylistically, the books are smart, poetic, introspective, dark, and witty. There's a lot of suffering, but there are also a lot of intense moments of joy and catharsis that feel really earned.
Also, if you read the rewrites. uh. there's a lot of smut! Happy retirement, Mr. Nava!
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sunny12th · 2 years ago
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I see where the 'dragons are nukes' people are coming from in terms of the total devastation dragons are capable of in battle and in the hands of those that want to use them in such a way.
However, dragons are clearly meant to symbolize more than just their raw power in wartime. dragons are fire made flesh, dragons are Summer, dragons are flight and freedom, dragons are playful and warm, dragons are life in defiance of winter. dragons are the strength needed to break chains, topple corruption, and burn evil itself. dragons are flaming swords and lightbringers. dragons are loyalty and protectiveness. dragons are passion and mystery and magic.
dragons are the opposite end of the magical spectrum to the others.
and dragons are, above all else, lizard cats that like to bask in the sun and get scratches on the underside of their chins.
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wesavegotham · 8 months ago
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"Talia can never be redeemed and her romance with Bruce can never come back because *falls for Grant Morrison's/DC's extreme racism towards asian and arab characters in the 2000s/2010s"
Yeah, sorry, but shut the hell up. It never fails to astound me when DC actually tries to fix the mistakes they made with Talia/the al Ghuls in general these last two decades and the fans manage to be even worse than DC by clinging to the blatant racist/sexist writing of the past instead of embracing the turn for the better.
"But she did this and that!"
She's a fictional character in a fictional universe that is aware that it goes through continuity changes/retcons. What Grant Morrison did to her character was a a complete retcon of her 30 year history and characterization with zero respect for her. Why am I supposed to take Morrison's bullshit as gospel and reject any attempts to fix her from writers who know better?
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markantonys · 7 months ago
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just accidentally stumbled on an egwene hate reddit thread and everyone was bitching about how she tries to act like rand's equal when she's only the second-most powerful authority figure on the continent, and one sane person was like "well, balance was a huge theme of the series, so it's pretty clear that RJ did consider the dragon and the amyrlin two halves of a whole and that rand is meant to be egwene's equal co-authority rather than her superior" and of course they were downvoted to hell. and this one little thread just really epitomizes how the readers who approach WOT as a male power fantasy just fundamentally will never understand the series and its themes and the story it was ACTUALLY telling.
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bitchthefuck1 · 8 months ago
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It's always so funny to me when people call Kaz a serial killer or a murderer bc like. boy do I have news for you about the other crows.
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fromtheseventhhell · 1 year ago
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Arya watched them die and did nothing. What good did it do you to be brave? One of the women picked for questioning had tried to be brave, but she had died screaming like all the rest. There were no brave people on that march, only scared and hungry ones. (Arya VI, ACOK)
--
The night she was caught, the Lannister men had been nameless strangers with faces as alike as their nasal helms, but she'd come to know them all. You had to know who was lazy and who was cruel, who was smart and who was stupid. You had to learn that even though the one they called Shitmouth had the foulest tongue she'd ever heard, he'd give you an extra piece of bread if you asked, while jolly old Chiswyck and soft-spoken Raff would just give you the back of their hand. (Arya VI, ACOK)
Arya: *restrains herself from acting out when captured by the Mountain and his men because she knows fighting back/being brave wouldn't accomplish anything*
Arya: *takes note of the temperments of several Lannister guards so that she can learn how to navigate around their behavior*
Fandom: Arya is a feral idiot with no self-control uwu 🤗
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a-menaceinpink · 1 year ago
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read the green bone saga this week and i’m just saying. if you want an in-depth political fantasy mafia thriller (yes all of those words apply) set in a post colonial nation that is navigating an unsure global political position and the potential exploitation of its culturally significant resource that simultaneously explores the bonds between family and how they can take different shapes in the wake of loss and love and life, with brilliantly developed, fleshed out characters and realistic pacing (both in world and in the actual delivery of the story). i HIGHLY recommend.
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