#especially with how it resembles my trauma and abuse

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

I would've been coping a little better perhaps in therapy opening up more of my trauma especially from when I was an adolescence/in my early 20s but millions of people decided to be monsters online and take back abuse survivors progress 50 fucking years and now that forever haunts me and I literally just want to straight up die

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Silver Tongues, like Bullets

Chapter 4

Werewolf!141 x Female Reader

Safe to say you aren't adjusting well to being kidnapped. With your anger at a all time high, names are being called and things are being thrown. Patience is running thin with the men, what lengths would they go to to set you straight?

Warnings: MDNI, violation of privacy, gay sex, cock stroking, masturbation, unconsentual nude viewing, dark themes, manipulation, forced proximity, reader comes from a religious household, childhood trauma, abusive parents, talks of self harm, description of self harm, violent behaviour from you, shouting, crying, name calling, mental breakdown, non-con touching, threats of punishment, You get spanked once in this chapter, sorry if I missed any.

Silver Tongues Like Bullets Masterlist

Words: 7k

-28/11/2023

There were vile people in the world. Simon knew that. His pack knew that. You probably knew that. It was an obvious fact many people tended to ignore for their own convenience.

He witnessed that violence first hand as a boy and then again as a soldier. There were people in this world who'd exploit anyone for their own selfish gain. God awful people who'd do it to their own children. People who didn't deserve to have children in the first place. People like your parents.

He's heard you mumbling in your sleep at the cabin and a couple times here when you managed to fall asleep. It was often the same sentences repeated over and over again. ‘Need to get them out’ ‘are they safe?’ ‘my poor babies’. Your ‘babies’ here probably refer to your siblings if Ghost isn't mistaken. He couldn't find any evidence of you having children of your own. But seeing as it was you managing the majority of the childcare at home spoke volumes as to how you're treated by your parents. You had a lot of responsibilities starting from grocery shopping and food management down to school meetings and pickups. God knows what your parents did while you did their job for them. Unfortunately for Ghost he did know.

Ghost didn't consider himself a good person not by a long shot but looking at the information he pulled on your parents had his sanity slipping. He'd have strangled them both if he was given the chance.

But a digital trail of incriminating evidence would have to do. The worst punishment for a narcissist is exposing their lies and damaging their reputation. Digital trails can be quite damning if put in the wrong hands. Good thing they found their way to him. This would scratch his inch for blood. All he had to do was press send and their lives would come crumbling down. And that's exactly what he did. This would definitely help move the investigation about you along. The town already thought you committed suicide because of your parents. This story was a scandal within itself. Especially since your parents were aid workers employed by the church.

He did feel bad about your younger siblings though. Poor souls were sent to live with a relative for the time being. God knows what they're feeling right now being put in this difficult situation.

Your aunt seemed like a decent woman though, strangely enough you resemble her more than you do your mother and father. Gaz using his connections in the police force made sure she was someone that would keep the kids safe. She'd treat your brothers and sister better than your parents ever did. At least something good came out of this whole incident.

Ghost glances at his watch, it was late. He should be in bed with the rest of his pack and the newest addition to this family of his. It was a shame Gaz and Soap had already called dibs on the floor beside you. Not that you wanted them there.

You're much feistier than any of them anticipated. They couldn't really tell at the cabin because of how often they had to drug you. But Ghost quite enjoyed teasing you. Especially when you bit back at his remarks. It stirred a playful attitude in him that he hadn't experienced in a while. Not to say Johnny and Gaz weren't playful, but it was a boyish kind of playfulness with them.

This was different. He knew you were harmless which made it all the more fun when you tried fighting. It was a losing battle from the start yet you continued your struggle. It was endearing in the sort of way when a bunny runs amuck. He’ll enjoy making you all sweet and pliant in his hands. But that was a problem for another day. For now he'd enjoy the little moments he has with you. If you'd let him that is.

-30/11/2023

The situation was escalating. You absolutely wouldn't let anyone near you. Even when they were very sweet and understanding towards your drastic changes in moods. This wasn't what they had envisioned when they took you. That was weighing hard on the boys, especially when you wouldn't eat or drink. They were growing concerned about your wellbeing. Today was no different. Each meal time they tried making something you'd enjoy based on the pictures you posted on your Instagram. But you were adamant with your choice to ignore them.

Food was running low and they needed to go shopping before they left for their deployment. While they were at it they also wanted to buy you winter clothes and essentials for your room. You were probably sick of wearing their sweatpants and t-shirts anyways. They hoped this would warm you up to them even if it was only a little bit. It was decided Gaz and Soap would keep an eye on you until Price and Ghost got back.

Price gave strict instructions to Gaz and Soap before leaving. They were told to keep you calm above anything else and no funny business, that comment was aimed at Soap specifically. Ghost and Price didn't want to leave when you were so unstable but things needed to get done.

It wasn't too hard finding what you needed considering they got their hands on your online purchase history. Excluding all the stuff you regularly bought for your siblings you didn't have much in terms of essential items that you used daily. It was all cheap stuff so the two men decided it would be nice to get you better quality clothing, skincare, shampoo and anything else they thought you'd like. Price had to text Gaz for that though. Gaz knew best out of all of them of what products to buy especially for hair.

The most indulgent thing you bought for yourself was your camera. And even that was bought secondhand. They felt guilty that it was partially their fault that it got ruined in the lake. But they swore to make it up to you. For now they focused on making your living space more comfortable. Maybe that would get you to eat. With all the groceries packed and a pretty bouquet of flowers in Ghost's hand they decided to go home to make a nice dinner for you.

Unfortunately for them in the short time they were gone, Soap had managed to upset you again. Upset you quite badly at that too. When they had gotten back with their hands full of blankets, bedsheets and clothing they were greeted with a messy living room with things thrown everywhere.

And to make it worse you were crying huddled in a corner. They didn't even have time to get the groceries in before Price let out an audible sigh. They were barely gone for two hours this time. What could possibly have happened in such a short amount of time to make you cry like that? Gaz was trying to soothe you but you cried harder when he tried coming closer.

Soap was looking both upset and guilty sitting on the sofa quite a distance away from you. He was covered in new scratch marks, which in itself gave enough of an indication as to what might have happened. That man really couldn't keep his hands to himself even if he tried. But Price couldn't really blame him. Physical touch was his love language. It's the way he showed his affection for everyone. Which could often be mistaken for him being horny. When in reality he just liked the closeness physical touch brought. Though Soap is horny a lot of the time too.

He wanted to fuck Ghost the first week of meeting him and meeting Gaz wasn't much different. He's an insatiable wolf. They all knew that before forming this pack. But you were fairly new to all this so it wasn't fair for him to pounce on you so quickly. You needed time to adjust to the situation. He'll have to have a talk with Soap tonight after dinner.

“What happened?” Price hands over his bags to Simon.

“I was just trying to relax with her,” Soap muttered. Simon, taking the hint, takes a grumbling Soap with him after he's done sulking. They both leave to go get the groceries out and start on dinner.

“Soap wanted to take a bath with her,” Price approached carefully while listening to Gaz explain the situation.

“Want some privacy luv?” you sniffled to yourself as you looked at them extremely annoyed but nodded your head eventually. Seems like you were still holding a grudge. But you'll come around he knows it. Maybe they should let you get your anger out of your system so they can move past this.

“You can take a bath alone luv, just leave the door unlocked ok? We got you new pajamas, cute ones with strawberries on them.” You stare at them for a while before a soft ‘thank you’ leaves your mouth when Price hands you a bag with all your bathroom necessities.

The rest of the day was spent with you sitting in a corner mumbling to yourself and refusing to eat for yet another day even after they gave you the flowers and made you your favourite dinner. Though your lack of appetite was concerning. He knew you snuck sealed packaged food at night. You just wouldn't eat anything cooked by them. He supposes that it's their fault for drugging you. They'll have to build the trust back up slowly.

Price was growing concerned about when they'll have to leave you alone in the house. He was growing afraid you'd do something to hurt yourself. They were due to leave the coming Monday. But it wasn't like he could push back the deployment any further. They had finally got information on the shadow company and Graves. They weren't going to let that rat slip away again.

But they also had a responsibility to keep you safe. Maybe it would be better to take you with them for the time being. You could stay on base while they figure things out. It would also give you a chance to bond with them. Not that you showed any interest to do so.

Price wishes you'd take more of an interest in them. You just accepted their confession on being werewolves, not a single question was asked in that regard. There aren't many people they would share that information with so they were expecting more of a reaction from you. But they didn't get much of one. Apart from you promising to keep their secret if they let you go.

But then again Simon found your old Whittpad? Wattpad? (Was that how you say it?) history. Apparently it was some app to read stories on and you read your fair share of supernatural romances from what Simon had told him. He did reprimand Simon for digging into personal information about you. Price knows you wouldn't be happy if you knew they knew of your reading habits. Not that they'd judge you for it. Everyone has needs. If that was your preferred method of meeting them, it was none of their business. He did wonder if you learned any silly myths about them through those novels.

Overall the day wasn't the worst they experienced with you. You were clean, dressed nicely and got to use some of the stuff they bought you. Things only escalated when Soap tried apologising to you before bed but you didn't want to let him near you. Some not so nice things were said on your part. And you did end up throwing a few cushions at him to get him to leave.

But at least you looked refreshed dressed in your new pajamas and he knew you'd probably try to find something to eat when they'd ‘fall’ asleep. They'd have to enjoy the small victories for now. This was going to be a difficult journey but Price was a patient man. He knows you'll come around eventually. They just needed to give you time to adjust.

-nearing midnight

The laptop screen finally loaded up. It wasn't for the reason Ghost usually used it for. He needed to see those images of you again. You were strung up today especially after that incident with Soap in the afternoon. More things were thrown and some mean things were said. So Price thought it'd be best to let you sleep alone in the living room since all the doors were securely locked anyway, you weren't going to escape even if you tried.

But Ghost thought Price was being too lax with your increasingly violent behavior. They should nip this in the bud before you seriously injure yourself or someone else. But for now he'll follow the orders he's given. Which means no excessive snooping or going near you for any reason other than necessity.

Despite the violent outburst they were all looking forward to showing you your room tomorrow, just the bars on your window needed to be installed. You'd also get your own ensuite which would give you the added privacy you probably needed. Soap was getting a little impatient but so was he. He just wanted you curled up in arms already but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

There was something bothering Ghost though. His suspicion started at the cabin when he had to undress you. Obviously there was so much going on that it was hard to focus solely on his suspicions but he was sure of what he saw. Your calves were littered with faded scars, he's sure the boys must have got at least a small glimpse of them already. No one has brought it up though. They could very much be old self harm scars. It was a very common occurrence with children in abusive households. He has plenty of his own. Thank god yours looked a couple years old. There weren't any new marks on you apart from a couple bruises you sustained in the forest.

As Ghost goes through your pictures again he realises why you wear stockings in all your pictures. You're never smiling either. There's not a single picture of you smiling. Not on your SD card or on your Instagram. He doesn't think he's seen you smile properly at the cabin either but that was a difficult situation and you were also sick. So that was understandable. He does want to make your life easier here, he wants to make you smile, make you feel loved but you were making things much more difficult than they needed to be.

As he goes through the picture lands on his favourite one. It wasn't one of the exposed pictures of you. You were just holding some wild flowers close to your face. You aren't smiling in it per se but there is a serene expression on your face. You looked the happiest he's ever seen you. Though he's only known you a little over a week but he wanted to make you feel safe. He did have a lapse in judgment at the cabin. His lust and anger spoke for him then. But he wanted to be better for you. He wanted to do better by you. He checks the date of when the picture was taken. And goes to check its correlation to your calendar.

(20/11/23 - 9:00-10:00pm waiting for callback from the London agency)

It was the date you received your job offer in London. His heart felt a little heavy, he felt guilty they took that from you but he had ampled doubt that you'd be able to escape your parents hold even if you did move to London. They'd still expect you to send money back home even if it meant you had to live in extreme conditions to survive in London. That was no life, you deserved better than that. They'll figure out a way for you to keep doing photography. But you needed to learn to trust them first and be a little less violent.

Ghost's door opens just as he's about to close his laptop.

“Ah’ve had enough! Ah made her ah sandwich but she didn't even touch it. Just stared at meh angrily until ah left! How am ah supposed tae be swee-” Johnny stops mid rant, his eyes zeroing in on the image on the laptop. Johnny stares at the screen until the realisation hits him that the pictures were of you.

“Ye greedy bastard! Ye could have told us that ye had them! Ah wouldn't have wasted meh time trying to imagine her naked.” Johnny in a huff just deposits himself in Ghost's lap clearly annoyed at the man for keeping your images to himself. Without asking for permission he quickly finds the picture he's looking for. Ghost wasn't surprised the picture he landed on. Soap was a simple minded man most days. He supposes it's time he makes it up to him, for keeping the pictures to himself.

“It's nae fair if yer the only one having fun! I'm telling Price about this in the morning.” Soap huffs pushing down his grey sweatpants and fishing out his hardening cock.

“Let me make it up to you pup. But you shouldn't treat her so roughly, she isn't like us. She needs time to warm up. Be patient with her.” Ghost lets out an apologetic purr as he nuzzles his nose into Johnny's neck, making sure to leave wet kisses behind as his hands take over Soap's movements on his cock.

“Ah'm nae forgiving ye that easily” Soap throws his head back feeling Ghost fist his cock with more vigor while his eyes stay glued to images of your naked flesh. This is the least he could do for him.

The rest of the night it spent with Johnny on his back begging (quite loudly) for more. He was insatiable with his rut probably approaching. Which was dangerous in this situation. You certainly weren't ready to have sex with all of them. When one of them goes into a rut they all follow pretty quickly. Ghost doesn't falter in his movements as he plows into Soap's stretched hole. Waiting for his knot to catch on Soap's spasming muscles. He thought about covering his hand over Soaps mouth but he desperately wanted you to hear what you were missing out on, on what could be yours if you allowed them to take care of you.

If the spanking was anything to go by it seemed you liked a little rough treatment. But you were still inexperienced so they needed to go slow with you. Kinks and safe words could always be figured out later. It's not long after Ghost's keen ears pick up on the moans of Gaz followed by grunts from Price and the slapping of skin. Seemed like everyone was pent up today. You probably wouldn't get any sleep with the noise they were making.

-01/11/2023

It's been four days, four days of you trapped in this hell, four days of you escaping their wandering hands, four days for you refusing to drink or eat in their presence. Last night being the worst of it all. They had finally let you sleep by yourself in the living room. But the whole night was filled with the noise of slapping skin and lewd grunts and wanton moans.

You bet they did it on purpose too. Your face felt hot remembering how slick and uncomfortable your aching pussy felt the whole night, especially when you had no outlet to relieve yourself. With their stupidly keen sense of smell and heightened hearing they'd know for a fact if you had touched yourself to the sounds of them fucking. It felt like you were trapped in a nightmare with no way out. You just wanted to be rescued already. Please God someone must be looking for you…please anyone…you needed to get home…for them if not yourself…

Your head was pounding, on the verse of bursting from the lack of nutrition and sleep. Your nerves are vibrating with fear, keeping you on your toes. You knew a chase was coming. They had just finished whatever they were doing in that spare room of theirs. The insistent clatter of tools and nails had finally ceased but now you were faced with an entirely new dilemma. A dilemma that involved four men cornering you.

‘Come look at your room’ they said, as if you didn't know that was code for ‘get in your cage’. You weren't stupid despite having ended up in this horrible situation. You knew you wouldn't see the light of day if they managed to get you in there.

Your forever prison. If and only if they get you in there. You didn't plan on entering another type of hell just after trying to escape the last.

“Darling! Please listen! Ow! Sto- Darling!” armed with another padded cushion you don't stop to listen to their stupid excuses as you yet again hurl the non lethal object at the person closest to you. That being Gaz.

We aren't trying to hurt you!”, safe to say you don't listen again as you circle the sofa for the umpt time in the last two minutes.

“Don't come near me! I don't want to look at the room!”

You've been tightroping on a knife's edge for the last four days, making sure they don't get their hands on you for any reason! You weren't going to let all your hard work go to waste! If you were honest it felt so much longer than four days. Hours felt like days when you're trapped in a cage, even if it was a golden one. Time goes so slowly when you have nothing to but wait to be rescued. You watch them circle around you like prey while you try to find any sliver of an opening to escape.

“Look, we know this situation isn't ideal but we promise it isn't forever. You can decorate it however you like later,” Were they purposely acting obtuse? You watch Price put his hands up in surrender. Trying his best to look non threatening while Ghost moves to watch everything unfold from the comfort of the far wall. Stupid prick… You hated the bastard. He's the reason you had to endure such a humiliating punishment.

You don't trust their pretty words, you've already made that mistake once. Well more than once but you get the idea. You weren't going to fall for it again. That you promised yourself.

Price stays back while the younger two of the four men decide to close in on you. They look at you with apprehension and pity. A sentiment you didn't appreciate. You wouldn't even be in the situation if it weren't for them. This entire situation was of their own making. They had no right to be angry with you. Not one bit, but it wasn't like that would stop them from trying to ‘punish’ you. Thankfully they've been busy sorting things out to do anything even with you getting increasingly more violent.

Gaz gives Soap a look and you know what's about to happen, you can tell they were about to pounce. You feel your nerves fraying with anxiety so with your weight pressed against your heels you ready yourself to run. They try creeping closer but the second they decide to take a definitive step you bolt.

“Darling that's enough! You need to stop fighting us!”, Price shouts as you swerve at the last second narrowly escaping the two men when they crowd you. You make a break for the kitchen not listening to their shouts as you evade their calloused hands. Thankfully you manage to get to the other side of the breakfast counter before either Gaz or Soap could reach you. Out of reflex you grab the nearest makeshift weapon at your disposal. That being a very expensive looking vase with the flowers they gifted you yesterday. The very first you ever received and you couldn't even appreciate them because they were given to you by your kidnappers. They both stand on the other side looking less than impressed by your choice of weapon.

“Sweetheart we just want to show you your room, that's all,” you hiss and bare your teeth at Gaz earning you an aspirated sigh from him.

“Don't come near! I-I'll hit you!”, your voice breaks which in turn pisses you off more. Strength! Embody Strength! You shout at yourself internally to steel your nerves. You needed more conviction in your tone to inspire fear. Even if it was only a little bit.

It's a stalemate. They looked annoyed, but more exhausted than anything else. Of course they'd be tired. They were getting fucked the whole night while you suffered….

You know you were making things worse for yourself but you didn't want to be locked in that room. Your chances of escaping would plummet. You just needed to hold out a little longer, just a little longer. Someone must be searching for you. Your friends, your family, at least one person would have reported you missing by now. They must have…you needed to get home…

You watch them with laboured breaths, waiting for them to spring at you again. Waiting for an excuse to get violent and get your built up frustrations out. Price pinches his nose in annoyance before giving up and going to sit on the sofa with Ghost following closely behind. It's only Gaz and Soap cornering you now.

“We promise ye’ll like yer room hen, we even got ye ah fluffy blanket and some plushies. Please stop being difficult. We just want tae take care ye.”

“Fuck off, I don't care! You? y-you?” You have to think for a second for an insult that would hurt them, that would make them dislike you. Maybe then they'd let you go.

“ Y-you?… you Dogs!” You instantly regret the words leaving your mouth kinda grateful you didn't end up calling them mutts. Gaz flinches at your raised voice, or more so at the word ‘Dogs’. Guilt floods your heart the second you see their hurt expression, an apology spills out of your mouth before your anger could block out your guilt.

“I'm sorry that was rude of me…but don't come near.” You look at them wearily, you didn't mean to be derogatory towards their biology. Not that you understood it but you didn't need to be rude about it. Their eyes soften at your apology but you still see the flash of hurt cross their eyes.

“I just want to go home, I promise I won't tell anyone about your secret. Please…please won't you let me go? I have people I need to take care of.” You brandish the vase with shaky hands because they were still on the offensive so you keep your guard up.

“We took you for your own good love. You weren't being treated well at home. We'll give you a better life here. You just need to allow us to.” You’re filled with disappointment at Gaz's words. You feel the ever familiar sting of tears tightening your waterline but you stay strong. No, don't cry! Don't show weakness!

“Hah? A better life? A better life? You must fucking kidding if you think I'd believe that!” You scoff at his ridiculous suggestion. You watch Soap try to approach again only for you to step back vase still in hand.

With your tears pushed down your building anger was rearing its ugly head again. It was boiling your blood to the point where you wanted to scald everything surface near you, you wanted to make everyone feel your pain. After years of working hard to appease your parents, trying to get them to see reason, saving money to escape the cage they put you in. You found yourself in yet another cage. The worst part was you only had two weeks until you left. Just two weeks…

Yet you found yourself locked in again, bound to a fixed location at the mercy of four strangers. This time the bars enclosing your freedom were tinted gold, but they were bars nonetheless. You were slowly losing any form of identity you built for yourself. Any form of escape you manifested was crumbling to the ground, much like an like your sanity. Fear was settling in, you felt it in your bones. The rattling was unsettling, this whole situation was. Why you? Why did it have to be you?

And to top it all off they were supernatural beings. You're more shocked how easily you accepted that fact than you are about them actually being werewolves. You attribute that to all the werewolf wattpad stories you read as a teen…. You had so many questions you wanted answered but you didn't want to ask them just in case they take it as your acceptance to being theirs.

“We'll give ye such ah great life here. Ye’ll want for nothing. We'll buy ye whatever ye want, whatever clothes, whatever makeup, whatever food. We'll even buy ye ah new camera. Ye can take as many naughty pictures as ye like.” You freeze at his words, blood running colder than rivers in the arctic. Shock marred your features as you tried to understand what you were hearing. Gaz clocked it first that Soap had just made a huge mistake. And Soap looked at you with guilt the second he saw your distraught face. They fumble with their apologies but you can't seem to hear. Cold blood rushing to your ears blocks out any sound from reaching you.

They saw…They looked through your camera….they saw you naked. They violated your privacy….

Before you were willing to forgive them for what they did at the cabin, namely because you thought they were helping you when you were sick. But they just needed a convenient excuse to get you naked didn't they? Fucking Perverts!

Feeling anger was an understatement, you were feeling down right ravenous for blood, for destruction. How fucking dare they!

“I WANT TO GO HOME! NOW! RIGHT NOW! I DON'T LIKE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! LET ME GO YOU FUCKING PRICKS!” You scream your built up aggravation out at them. You flinch at your own anger. You've never had the guts to voice your anger out like this. The most you've ever done is slightly raise your voice which often ended up with you being backhanded by your dad. You've learnt to either stay silent or placate him with money. Money always seemed to work to calm him down. Money wasn't going to help you here.

It was different here. The one punishment they inflicted made you feel buzzed and tingling in all the sting places. And they haven't gotten maliciously violent with you yet. No matter how angry you'd get with them, they wouldn't threaten to harm you. Any aggression they faced at your hands was often met with patience and coos to soothe you as if you were a skittish bunny. That didn't excuse them of being perverts though. Especially Soap for that matter. That man had a problem keeping his hands to himself.

If the cooing didn't work they'd just let you tire yourself out. It often felt like you were talking to a brick wall when they'd get like this. If your screaming bothered them they didn't let it show, only looks of pity crossed either of their faces. Which only served to aggravate you even more. Gaz tries to take a step closer but you just take another set back continuing to let your frustrations out as tears prickle your already bloodshot eyes.

“DON'T COME NEAR ME! I'll hit you! D-don’t...*sob*..come near..*cries*,” a wave of fatigue washes over you while you raise the vase as a warning. Everything you knew was crumbling around you. You felt sick to your stomach despite not having eaten properly in days.

“Can ye pick ah different vase? Me nan gave meh that…”

You're stunned into silence for a second, your tears also drying up. You’re discombobulated at his words, your mind racing to understand what he just said. Guilt sits heavy on your chest as the words unjumble in your head. Your arms immediately lower as an apology leaves your mouth far too easily for your liking.

“Oh..*sniffle* I'm so sor- wait…why the fuck should I care!?"

Right!? Why should you care? You should be angry, you should be breaking things.

But despite you trying to school yourself on maintaining a front, your grip becomes shaky and you're forced to return the vase to its original place. You glare at the two men angrily having put the vase down despite wanting to smash. No matter how bad you wanted to hurt them, this just seemed excessively cruel.

“Thanks for putting down the vase hen. Come on now mah sweet girl, promise ye’ll love yer room.” You stare at him incredulously, more accurately at his audacity.

Tears blur your vision again as you curse your frustrations out at them for the hundredth time today.

“This is your fault! I'm like this because of you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you…” You close your eyes for a split second to clear the falling tears, unfortunately for you that's when both of them take the opportunity to block your escape from either side. You can't do much other than struggle with your limited energy. You haven't been eating out of spite for the last few days. And running around definitely didn't help your situation. Everyone was on edge and your tantrums weren't helping.

Soap wraps his bulky arms around you as gently as he could while whispering his insincere apologies to you. You shout at him not to touch you, to get his ‘filthy hands’ off you. All you were doing was wasting your breath though. Which just serves to aggravate you more. You're upset, you're angry and down right exhausted. You just wanted to go home. The cage at home was better than here. At least you were close to escaping that one.

Soap hoists you up in his arms carrying you towards the living room while Gaz trails behind looking upset and guilty. It seems everyone was at their wits end today. And the boys were due to be deployed this coming Monday, you heard them say as much. Why couldn't they just leave already. You didn't want to be near these perverts.

Once you come into Price's view he ushers Soap to deposit you in his lap while Ghost fiddles with the TV channels. The fight has left you now, you're just limp in Soap's arms while you silently cry out your muddled emotions. Soap gently deposits you on Price's lap and immediately your face is pushed to his neck where you cry harder.

“Our pretty Bunny, it's ok, just cry it out.” Nothing was ok, you weren't ok! You weren't safe from their touches.

“I know. I know. It's ok baby, let us take care of you.” You huff out in anger trying to escape his hold but you just don't have the energy to fight them anymore. So your face remains pushed to the crook of his neck while you're forced to inhale the smell of his aftershave. The worst part was that the scent was soothing your frayed nerves. You inhale the smell of the forest and something slightly fruity and sweet. Strawberry….When did he eat strawberries? You wanted some… You weren't going to tell him that though. Your stomach grumbling does that for you. Traitor…

“Everything we've done we've done for your betterment. I know you're hurt now but you'll understand eventually. Just let us love you darlin. Promise we'll take such good care of you.” You stay silent not knowing how to respond to their bullshit. You'll just have to figure out a way to escape once they leave.

“What is it luvvie? Why are you so pent up today? Do y’need some help making yourself cum? We can smell y’slick cunt since last night.” Ghost coos at you while trying to find a channel to watch on the TV. Your blood boils at his words, your anger that's been simmering erupted like a volcano.

“As if I'd let you monsters touch me! Delete my pictures you fucking perverts!” The simmering violence in you burst out unexpectedly as you grab the spare remote near you to hurl it at his head, hitting him pretty hard.

“Fuc- Ow!” Ghost clutches his covered head. You feel bad immediately after you realise what you've done. You don't even get a chance to apologise before Price is restraining your arms while everyone tuts at your actions. You watch as Gaz goes to check-in on Ghost, they remove his mask away from your sight. Probably checking for any serious injuries.

You hear Price sigh heavily beside you when everything seems fine with Ghost. So you're assuming he wasn't too badly hurt, probably just a little stunned you actually tried hurting him. Before you can try to escape and run you feel an iron grip on your arms halting you. It was just shy of bruising so when you tried to push away from him you weren't expecting him to growl so inhumanly at you, or with so much anger. He seemed pissed, very pissed. Maybe you should apologise but you were too scared to do anything other than try to escape.

“Ghost was right. We can't have you getting violent like this. I think it's about time we teach you a lesson luv. This behaviour has gone on too long.” His voice was deceptively calm, while you only heard grunts of approval from the other men. Your emotions were all over the place on one hand you felt bad for hitting Ghost on the other you wanted to escape by any means, even if that meant you hurting them. You still can't believe they’ve seen your pictures. The humiliation just doesn't stop, does it?

Price had you bent over his knee before you could realise what was happening. You're made aware of the power imbalance from the get go. There was no way you'd escape his hold. If you weren't going to be able to hurt them physically while you struggle, you think perhaps you could use your words instead. The first flurry of curses leaves your mouth as wrists are captured and pinned to the small of your back.

“I hate you! You stupid assholes! Perverts! You don't care about me! Let me go!” You repeat the same sentences over and over and over again. Until your own ears felt like they were bleeding.

“Don't make things harder for yourself sweetheart. I think we've been too soft on you if you're acting like this.” This whole time you felt Price's large hand caressing your back down to your ass cheeks. Giving the plush of your bottom a mean pinch before landing a hard slap over your pajama bottoms. You bite down a groan as the sting travels down to your already drenched cunt. No doubt they know you've been soaked since last night.

“What do you think Simon? How do you want to punish her?

Ghost comes into view, mask still on. Only his obsidian eyes were on display. They looked eerily devoid of emotions. You expected him to be more angry than he looked but then again looks are often deceiving. Soap moves out of his way as he crouches to be level with your face. His glove covered hands come up to wipe away the tears staining your face. He was surprisingly gentle when caressing you.

“That throw was personal wasn't it luv? I'll be nice and forgive you if you apologise.” You shake your head to the best of your ability only to be rewarded with a chuckle. You just glare at him seeing that he found the situation funny.

“How about this? You have a nice big dinner with us and you don't have to get a spanking. But you have to finish your food. Doesn't that sound nice?” You glare not wanting to give the satisfaction of doing what they say. Or getting potentially drugged again. Even though you were extremely hungry. Your stomach being the treacherous bitch she is decides this is the moment she wants attention on her and growls for everyone to hear. Gaz and Soap just watched you with sympathy and you hated that even more. You didn't need their pity. You didn't want their care or affection. You just wanted to go home.

“Oh you poor thing, you shouldn't be so cruel to yourself. Come on… all you have to do is have some dinner. It's either that or Price here spanks you so hard you'd be unable to walk without wincing in pain.” You hate that he was making a reasonable offer. It just pissed you off more that they got to pick and choose when they wanted to be cooperative with you.

“So what do you say? Y'want to be good for us?” You glare but don't answer straight away knowing you'd probably get yourself into more trouble. You weigh the options out. Your fear and anger waging a war in your head as you do so. In the end your anger wins. You weren't going to submit to their whims; it was the only thing you could control right now. And you needed the sense of control more than you needed food.

“Fuck you! I want my pictures deleted, you asshole!” That sentence sealed your faith for the night.

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2024. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[thr0wnawayy]

Rei-Demption: A problem and my solution (ft. Rei's trauma and Hori's bullshit)

Might as well give my shot at it.

My take on Rei's personality has always been based in suppression.

Rei's whole life has been a balancing act of doing enough to protect her family, while still staying within the lines to not get disposed of.

She's everything Enji isn't. An iron will, a golden heart and a strong sense of empathy.

So with that in mind, hopefully it she'd light on it thought process with this post

A theory I have is that Rei was aware of the hospital's corruption

These panels always felt off too me, it always made me wonder: "does she know?"

The wording is very specific.

"I told him I liked it, around the first time we met. But only once"

It always struck me as odd, We're talking about the man who looked at his eldest death and kept going, man who destroyed multiple lives for a redundant pipedream.

It's not even why would he remember such a small detail, but rather how?

Unless... the doctors are feeding him information.

Think about it, who pays for all this. Surely it's not Fuyumi, on account of this being a massive money sink.

You really expect her to pay for all that on a teachers salary?

It can't be Natsuo because Enji has likely cut him off from everything to his name.

And that's assuming Enji even bothered to save up a college fund for any of them. Plus Natsuo is a full time student of medicine.

If the doctors are watching her every move, looking for any sign of deviation from the narrative then it makes sense for her to disguise her words.

Of course there's still more

Having PTSD isn't something you can keep someone institutionalized for. Especially when Rei's is very proportionate, given what she's gone through. (No, Japan's stigma of mental health wouldn't justify this)

I mean what are Rei's triggers?: Enji and that's about it.

"But we still... haven't met face to face, I'm still too afraid"

That's a standard reaction to have to your abuser (especially when he raped you multiple times)

('Just stop' gets a whole lot darker when you consider it's context)

Not to mention she's no longer fearful of anything resembling Enji, just Enji himself. So there is no real reason to keep her there unless they are afraid she might speak out.

This whole thing makes me think she's trying to tell Natsuo and Fuyumi what's really going on, in a way.

Subtly and under the calm, complacent mask she's expected to wear, in case anyone else is listening. Anyone who could report back to him.

It might also be she doesn't trust them. Fuyumi or Natsuo could blab or say something within earshot that could set Rei back months.

And she can't have that, not with how close she is to finally breaking free. She loves her children, all of them but the trust just isn't there, how can it be when when they don't have all the pieces.

So here's my theory: The hospital staff are in Enji's pockets. Either taking bribes (as recent as Dabi's Dance) or they were given a large sum of hush money when Rei was first hospitalized, with the goal of keeping her there as long as possible and possibly molding her to either keep her mouth shut or (sickeningly) gaslight her into returning to Enji.

(Note how she was only released when they could no longer keep a lid on things, the moment Dabi frops the bomb. She's out, no struggle)

This paints a picture of grotesque corruption, sloth and apathy (the very same cocktail that created Shigaraki) even by Hori's narrative standards. Shedding light on just how deep MHA's despotic nature goes.

The anime makes this even more apparent. Rei's fake smiles make the whole thing that much more viable. She seems so dead, it's like she smothered her soul or something.

I've seen both the sub and dub of this scene. The sub is the correct translation, the same as the Manga panel above.

The Dub however, while severly off mark, adds it's own flavour of dread. Rei sound so hollow, it was jarring the first time I heard it.

It sounded like she was reading a script (in-universe). Like she'd rehearsed this in her mind a million times, staring at the same 3 white walls + the window and waiting for an opening to finally speak.

That was supposed to be Shoto, until the dorms ruined that. Suddenly Rei's lifeline is gone, reduced to letters that don't even tell half the story.

10 years, 10 fucking years reduced to lines on a page.

Can you imagine the despair, dear reader?

The frustration. The sheer vitriol coursing thorough her veins, far hotter than Touya could ever manage.

Having to do the same thing she's been doing even before she was locked away. As the the skeleton in the closet of a criminal with a license.

Wearing masks for so long you can hardly breath and in the brief moments you can take them off. You can hardly recognize yourself, how you once were.

It must be the truest form of hell.

The Rei-demption Arc

Rei's redemption arc takes the attention of our theoretical arc without overtaking it.

The arc would mostly focus on the more domestic aspects of our trio being: Midoriya, Shoto and Uraraka.

A few minor changes would occur. The dorms never happen, allowing the characters to exist outside of UA.

There is solid confirmation that Fujiya is corrupt and is keeping Rei institutionalized on illegal grounds (ie: not meeting the criteria set up to ensure her silence)

The dinner scene would still happen only it would bd framed for what it really was. A pathetic attempt at creating a moment that never existed.

There's no family with Enji.

Just a family held hostage and a tyrant. I have my own grievances with Fuyumi, but I'll leave that for the future.

The only difference besides Natsuo being properly portrayed as a victim acting well within his right, the reasons for our trio going would be for Shoto's emotional wellbeing, because he asked them to.

Uraraka could have a moment where she realizes that money is as much as good as it is bad. An actually decent shift into her change of goals.

Here Enji motivates her to "watch the watchmen". Her need for money is still a crucial part of her reasons for becoming a hero, but she also has a more front and center goal.

I'd imagine she has a moment parallel to Midoriya's during the Sports Festival.

Where (alone in front of the Dojo after the failed dinner) she rightfully calls out Enji for being a self pitying piece of shit and that "sorry" doesn't cut it.

"You've hurt them in ways you can't imagine." Would probably be the last thing she says before walking away.

She may not know the whole story but she knows it hurt them and that's enough.

Rei's ascent

Rei's biggest hurdle is accepting that she was also an abuse victim. She's furious but she's only furious on her children's behalf and what they lost.

Her unintentionally harmful actions weigh on her, be it her neglect or the night she scalded Shoto, these events have impacted her deeply.

She learns to reconcile with her past, improve her relationship with Shoto and even meets Shoto's friends at one point.

Eventually she finds closure but that's later on.

She also acts as an advisor at times, having given Shoto the idea of using Ice projectiles (as seen in the Licensing Exam)

The second half comes from the Hospitals corruption, as Rei learns that she is long overdue for release (by about 8 years) among other horrific practices. This would play out as the arc's B plot, building up to what I call "The Summit"

The Summit

Eventually Rei fights Hood.

After gathering the evidence, she escapes the hospital. Planning to go to Natsuo for protection. As she's walking across a crosswalk however, she hears what sounds like an explosion.

Eventually she hears screaming and is forced to use her quirk as a bus is suddenly sent hurdling in her general direction.

As of her body moved on its own, she envelops it in her ice. Stopping the bus and saving those behind her in the process.

Only to see Hood land on top. They lock eyes and Rei can't help but see Touya in Hoods ambition.

In response to Rei holding her ground, Hood dashes. Rei counters this by manipulating her ice to send him crashing into an empty building, impaling him on the glaciers end.

Hood is impressed by Rei's proficiency and chooses to fight her.

Rei having no experience, fights for her life. Where as Rei avoids Civilians, Hood has no care for them which forces Rei to play the role of hero.

Rei uses every weapon in her arsenal in order to stave off Hood, who only gets more relentless as the battle stretches on. The upside is Hood's regeneration struggles in the cold, which Rei is constantly producing.

Each side gets blows in, with Rei taking them surprisingly well but still being worse for wear. Hood notes this saying "as if y-you've done t-t-this before" (close, Hood very close)

Eventually Hood gets the upper hand, towering over Rei in a manner that triggers her PTSD and leaves her stunned.

One of the civilians (Horoshi Tameda) emboldened by Rei's efforts, picks up a loose chunk of pavement and chucks it at Hood's back. It hits, causing Hood to look back.

Civilians begin making loud noise, others begin picking up anything they can find and throw it at Hood. Further catching him off guard long enough for Rei to snap out of her episode and strike back.

From here the fight kicks into high gear, with Rescue heroes & paramedics arriving on the scene and a camera crew recording the fight from above. Overall I imagine the scene to be very uplifting, with the Orchestra swelling as Rei prepares a final attack.

The move rivals that of Shoto's, arguably even surpassing it. Hoof is incased in a prison of Ice, covering an entire city block worth of destroyed buildings. And the fight finishes with Rei collapsing to her knees.

From here on out things change. Rei's newfound fame leads to the hospital being forced to do their job. Because of this Rei gets out early (around the time the Internship arc would started had I not scrapped it)

As for what this could lead to I'll let you decide. I'd love to read some suggestions.

Bonuses:

Theories:

The reason they kicked Fuyumi from her job is because she covered an abuser's ass for years. While Fuyumi is a victim, it doesn't excuse her complacency in regards to Enji's treatment of Shoto before and after his "self pity" arc.

Natsuo didnt go to someone because he wouldn't likely be believed, being seen as bitter and untrustworthy (his time away from home wouldn't help with pinning evidence).

Extra:

Hood survived the fight, Rei opted to capture him as opposed to kill him. That doesn't mean he didn't get frost bite. Police found out it is very difficult to question a Nomu.

Out of all her trauma. Rei accepting she was never given a choice will be the hardest to accept.

Rei's family is not inbred, rather her parents ran away so her father wouldn't be forced into a marriage with his cousin. Only to ironically do the very same to their daughter.

Hiroshi still becomes a meme, his 'Can't you see speech' leads to him becoming a motivational speaker.

The reason Hood appeared is because Dabi lost track of him. He nearly had a heart attack when he discovered his mom was holding the Nomu off.

[ddostoyevskyy]

𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄... This is the official masterlist of WINGS ERA featuring MHA. Every short or long fic will be heavily based off BTS’ Wings album and based off the author’s imagination.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒... heavily implied DARK ROMANCE, fem!reader, yandere!reader, heavy gore, angel/devil quirks, based off BS&T lore, greek mythology, mentions of God, Lucifer, NO blasphemy, religiously implied, overpowered!reader, religious themes, trauma!reader, disassociation, split-personality, sexual themes; sexual abuse, mental abuse, assaultion, women oppresions, non-canon scenarios, coming-of-age trope, the following does NOT follow any canon implications, every fic were imaginary.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄... I can’t promise that these will be canon through the characters. But I’ll do my best as I can. I’m actually challenging myself to write more complex characters (especially Touya, omfg) and as you can see, AWAKE and STIGMA was left without any character to fill so please, please, request anyone from MHA. I still can’t find the right character to fill the summary I made, so... help me :p

STATUS: UPDATING....

➹ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎: 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋!

feat. Todoroki Touya, Dabi.

summary: ❛Why does that little girl’s naivety made the little boy too greedy? How does one protect with such little mind but his body’s already different? What does it makes to be bad as it too sweet at the same time?❟

note: following the Todoroki family lore but not the whole series’ canon plot.

➹ ��𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃, 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒!

feat. Takami Keigo, Hawks.

summary: ❛The Fall of the Rebel of Angels and its familiarity always makes his own wings stutters. As fast as he was, as slow as the time goes by, the unforgotten desire of you will always be trapped in an asylum where they tucked you away.❟

note: following Hawks’ lore but not the whole series’ canon plot.

➹ 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍!

feat. Bakugo Katsuki.

summary: ❛Youth is a bitch, so was he. As he reflected along his mistakes and blames, sticks through the flames, the remnants of you stood still at the back of his head; all young and innocent — ‘til he stumbles upon you again, the same eyes and face but never the same heartbeat you shared.❟

note: following Bakugo’s childhood lore but not the whole series’ canon plot.

➹ 𝐋𝐈𝐄!

feat. Shimura Tenko, Shigaraki Tomura.

summary: ❛The mask he puts on his face where equivalent to what he portrays; a man that he wasn’t. He had lived his life driven by nothing and you lie awake.❟

note: following Shigaraki’s childhood lore but not the whole series’ canon plot.

➹ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀!

feat. tba.

summary: ❛As you lie awake, he slumbers and swim under your influence; in his dreams, he was having a conversation with his father; and when he wakes up, the man he wasn’t became your enigma’s puzzle.❟

note: CHARACTER REQUEST ARE OPEN.

➹ 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄!

feat... tba.

summary: ❛The relentless nights of nightmares haunts you down in vain, leaving you awake. You knew what you saw, so why is he here now besides you like you could forget the way his heart dropped a beat?❟

note: CHARACTER REQUEST ARE OPEN.

➹ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄: 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒!

feat. Takami Keigo, Hawks.

summary: ❛The world finally lets you spread your wings to fly — the world being him, because no matter how you denies, you knew he’s the reason why you wanted to fly.❟

note: spin off of ‘Blood, Sweat and Tears.’

All Rights Reserved 2024 © ddostoyevskyy. Do not repost without permission or plagiarized.

[doodlegirl1998]

You know...I think we should consider Shoto Todoroki a tragedy character. And I know you like him so this is not me bashing him. I'm not Hori.

I know it's easier blame all this on Hori's inability to write but...think this way: isn't tragic how shoto, who was abused by Einji, is buddy buddy with a mini Endy?

"bad writing" or ...Shoto is slipping in the Freudian slip. He hates his dad, his dad took his childhood from him...but he still hangs out with BK bc that's the only type of relationship he knows.

"he is Izu's friend" sigh. Not in canon. Yes we see small screens where he is nice but is politeness, not friendship. I like he went to Izu rescue in the stain arc (only him did it) but on the big scheme of things...that is nothing. Anyone with common sense would.

Bk is a character Shoto knows well.

And isn't tragedy you hang out with people who resemble your abuse in the vain hope of them being better?

"it's bad writing" sure. But it's also a tragedy bc Shoto is never really free from the abuse.

What Endy did to his family doesn't stop with an apology. It lingers and bet if we do get a sequel where "the A1 have kids like Boruto" Shoto will be a bad father, not like Endy...but he will be emotional distant.

Don't know...just have this thought how Shoto is so tragic.

No more tragic than Izu.

No one is winning here.

Hi @mikeellee 👋

Shoto is a tragic character.

I do see him as being genuine friends with Izuku. However, in my opinion, Shoto being friends with Bakugou is wildly OOC, especially considering Shoto's treatment of him at the start of the series.

You could make the argument that Shoto is acting out the trauma response 'fawn' in being Bakugou's friend (however that can be seen more in Izuku and would be more in character for Fuyumi to do since she does that with Endeavor - Shoto does not.)

I think this is all simply bad writing since Shotos behaviour doesnt fit with his previously established character.

Also, as you pointed out, Shoto is never truly free from the abuse - Bakugou parallels Endeavor, and Endeavor has elbowed his way into Shoto's life and overshadowed Shoto's narrative with his 'atonement'

If MHA gets a 'Boruto' style spin off (I pray it doesn't since Hori fumbled so hard with this OG series), Shoto being a parent that struggles to connect emotionally with his kids would make sense but he seems to be getting slightly better at that in MHA.

No one wins in MHA aside from Horis Golden Boy Bakugou.

[terrence-silver]

how do you think what Larusso's relationship would be like! beloved (daniel's oldest daughter in her twenties) and old man! Terry during the Cobra Kai timeline, especially if beloved, was extremely morally similar to Terry? let's say, they "match each others freak." ❤️ I love your blog, especially because I'm also a writer and I love your take on Terry, your in-depth character study of him is terrific, sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language, I'm Brazilian, lots of love from here!

Hello, Brazil! ❤️

---

Frankly, I think Daniel would just feel downright haunted by one of his kid's proclivities and her character long before Terry ever returns into the picture --- years and years before he does, actually. This is an ongoing process that stems back to the time Mr. Miyagi was still alive; it's like Terry Silver never went away in the first place, notwithstanding the lingering trauma and bad memories that Daniel would have to live with on a daily basis, but that his own daughter is starting to resemble one of his demons from the past in worldviews, personality and behavior now too; it is literally the worst development imaginable. Nothing and nobody in his life is safe. Moving on is impossible when the battlefield is happening under your own roof. This whole city, the passing decades, The Valley itself as a whole and each passing generation feels like it has something of Terry Silver's in them and he's never truly gone. His darkness is stubbornly ever-present.

It's like Terry infected everything, even things and people he never actually touched.

Never came in contact with.

Never interacted with.

Nonetheless, it is there, finding ways to seep into every pore of his existence like an infection, possibly leading to Daniel being strictest precisely with his oldest daughter in the hopes that he'd steer her away from becoming the way she's becoming to overcompensate for her shortcomings and all the things he's expected of her but that she didn't live up to from his point of view. Something she might take to heart, because what child of their parent's wouldn't? Cause her to feel like she's far from her father's favorite. Like he cares for Sam, Antony and Louie a lot more and that he sees them as 'the good children he can feel proud of' because they're incarnations of everything Mr. Miyagi espoused...unlike her', which couldn't be further from the truth because Daniel would adore his estranged daughter too, but still, his stance towards her would be here causing her to wish to rebel, go against the mold even more and willfully embrace every bad impulse she has even more than ever before because it's hard to reconcile the fact that she's incompatible to her family. That she's distinct. Daniel takes a different approach with his problematic older daughter because he loves her and doesn't want her to grow into a morally questionable person, but is simply so afraid of what he's witnessing in her that his methods might be unbalanced, their root found in fear --- infinite parental concern. Meaning, he might snap, he might yell, he might be judgmental and not always be an exemplary, patient parent, because validly, it's hard to be exemplary when your own kid reminds you so much of a past abuser who messed you up for life. He might take some draconic measures with her too. His belief in pacifism and 'letting go' might just vane as well. What choice does he have? She's starting to resemble...someone he knew a long time ago. Someone he'd rather not speak of anymore. Jesus! He doesn't even want to think about it ever again! Hard not to! When she's right there, at the dinner table, in his own house, his own flesh and blood, someone he adores, someone he would do anything in the world for --- anything but accept that she's going down a negative path. What parent worth his penny would? Should he just allow that without doing anything?

So, when she befriends Terry, of all people?

Becomes a little too close for comfort with him?

It's a nightmare.

It's like watching his life's work and efforts at setting a good example literally collapse and history repeat itself except in an infinitely worse way than could ever be anticipated. Daniel would be convinced Terry Silver has perversely planned this for god knows how long and that getting under the skin of his daughter was premeditated, and heck, knowing Terry, maybe it was too and that this is revenge. Some sort of sick scheme. Grooming. The desire to continue ruining his life by hitting Daniel where it hurts most, even decades after everything that's went down and for the longest time, Daniel would feel like he's the only one who understands the unhinged gravitas of the situation, causing him to feel crazy and all alone in the world, with nobody to get his point of view and how eerie and harrowing Terry being with his daughter actually is, whereas Amanda, for example, wouldn't see the full picture for a good while, her concerns being limited solely to the age difference, but not the actual context under which any of this is happening seeing as how she's not entirely aware of what went down between Terry and Daniel because Daniel didn't tell her. In fact, she might even understand why their daughter likes Terry Silver. He's rich, he's handsome, he's charming, sure, a little sleazy, perhaps, but ultimately the harmless, inoffensive kind of sleazy (ultimately being too old for their daughter). She might even see Daniel freaking out as slightly overblown. He's overreacting. Of course, man's old enough to be her grandfather and it's a reason for concern and intervention but surely, not the amount of panic and crisis Daniel's exhibiting --- except, it makes the whole situation only feel the more dizzyingly infuriating, because that, that guy, right there, is also simultaneously the worst person Daniel knows and he knew quite a lot of those. And now, his own daughter is consorting with him. How does Amanda...just not get it!? He would feel like he's losing his damn mind. Terry Silver ruined so much of his late teenage years and the years that followed, influenced by the lingering trauma and trust issues; the last thing Daniel would allow for him to have his daughter's soul too. This whole discourse might just lead to the Larusso's marriage encountering shaky grounds.

Amanda could easily be taking her daughter's side, because ultimately, she'd see her daughter as a free person (and she'd critically misunderstand how awful this whole thing) is and Daniel would become more and more volatile seeing as how he wouldn't feel empathized with in the least bit. ''It's the man who tortured me when I was just eighteen!'' he'd yearn to scream out. ''He made me believe he was my friend. That he had his best intentions at heart. And then he tortured me and I trusted him, Amanda! He and John Kreese! They did it together! And now, Terry Silver's got his hooks in our daughter and she's letting him! You're telling me to calm down!? I can't calm down!''

Daniel would fight against the situation with all his might.

He'd argue.

He'd get his hands dirty.

He'd ironically show that bit of Cobra Kai he had in him all along.

He'd do things he'd do in no other situation if it meant changing his kid's perspective.

But, he'd under no circumstance accept his daughter being the way she is.

Just like he wouldn't accept her being with the enemy.

Terry Silver can't have his family.

Terry Silver, though? He'd manipulatively and very sweetly expertly exploit this pre-existing rift in the family to masterfully to divide the Larussos even further and get exactly what he wants by being the (seemingly) understanding, concerned supportive shoulder for Daniel's daughter and offering the camaraderie she doesn't feel she ever had at home. He becomes her support network. Her only support network, eliminating everyone else who isn't him because there's 'no matching the freak' of someone who has a couple of decades of experience in malice ahead of you, who fought in a war and who could, effectively, push came to shove, kill and die with relish. Daniel's daughter might think she can go toe to toe with Terry where being chaotic is concerned (and he'd fuel and enable her belief that this is true) but is there really anyone who actually can? Heck, he might even encourage her to keep a good relationship intact with her folks all while effectively sabotaging said relationship purely so he'd seem guiltless in the matter, playing good cop, bad cop accordingly. But, ultimately he's cool! He's awesome! He lovebombs! He lavishes! He's generous! He's seductive! He can give the spoiled Italian princess the life she's used to and so, so, so much more. He takes on whatever mask and personality is best suited for the situation to draw people in! He's older and by extension, probably makes a younger woman feel more mature and 'cool' by comparison too, appealing to whatever mommy and daddy issues are present! He's all about embracing instincts, impulses, holding nothing back which feels liberating to the otherwise Zen and possibly stifling teachings of Mr. Miyagi! He's rich! He's knowledgeable! And he's Terry Silver, which automatically could mean a world of damage. Never doubt the man's an influence that would entirely destroy what little stability's left in this family and turn Daniel's daughter against her father, mom, brothers, her sister and literally everyone she ever knew. In the end, she'd get more than she's ever bargained for. She thought she had control over the situation. She didn't, though.

Her dad would've been correct all along.

Terry Silver corrupts and devours.

Nothing's for free.

[mexipoopy]

On Repeat - OC Tag Stuff

I was tagged by @acidheaddd to do this and AH thank you I've been mulling over this A LOT and it really made me think hard on my OCs and their stories. Credits to @elderwisp(a cool guy) for the idea.

OK! Onto the LORE

Ai [FSU -BigKlit]

1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, 4 Fuck it up, I wanna see the bodies hit the floor 5 shot, 6 shot, 7 shot, 8 We don't give a fuck, we burning down the whole place Fuck shit up, I wanna fuck shit up, I wanna fuck shit up

Rage, rage, rage. That's definitely a word to describe this guy. Ai is very aggressive due to good old trauma~* but despite his violent tendencies he's full of highly energized spite and fun, so this song encapsulates his personality pretty accurately with its fast pace and aggressive lyrics. A fist with a bright shining smile to accompany it.

Marisol [Holy Weather -Civil Twilight]

It’s not too late to go home Passion is this weight on my shoulders So why did you follow me into this den When all the bluest stars paint your name In a sky of black You must go back

Are you lost little soul? Marisol is a bit of a wanderer, who lets her curiosity dictate her actions. But where that curiosity leads her is full of a darkness that beckons her soul to light her path. She is constantly told to turn back by many colorful characters, despite this, she persists. There is a particular entity who crosses paths with her soul and is unable to escape her tenacity. This song with its regretful lyrics and soft instrumentals, parallel the dynamic of her affect on those around her especially the one that holds her soul closest to theirs and the consequences that happen because of it.

Isaiah [Daydreaming -Radiohead]

Beyond the point Of no return Of no return Then it's too late The damage is done The damage is done This goes Beyond me Beyond you

Liminal. Inhuman. Existence. Isaiah, if that is his true identity, is an individual full of whimsical mysteries and questions. What happens when a person dies, and who will lead us into the afterlife? Will the reaper come to aid us in our desperate confusion upon our passing? Where will you go? This song, compels the listener to wander and be lured by its ethereal instrumentals and the darkness that looms around it, much like how the darkness and uncertainty of death lingers among the living.

Jasper [You Don't Own Me -Tamino]

You may keep me hеre You seem to know just how To pin me to the ground Each timе you come around Take away my home Obscuring what I am And plague me all night long And lay claim to freedom's song

What good is greed if you don't possess yourself? Even the strongest can fall folly to abusive, parasitic relationships. Jasper, even in his conception was never meant to enjoy the freedom of individuality. Being a prisoner inside his own body and shackled by family ties and a predatory lover that only wishes to possess him, his autonomy is never of his own volition. Still, his soul persists, fighting and gnashing at every opportunity to break free from those that hold him captive. This song is one of rebelling to that which wants to possess and control you, which bears a haunting resemblance to Jasper's own struggles.

Anabelle [Do You Feel Real -Sevdaliza]

I thought I'd heal from you Or you'd escaped from me Maybe I'm too scared to forget you I just can't remember how it feels like to function without Absorbed in total free fall It's a waste of time It's not that serious

My void is one that comforts and cures a loneliness that it causes. What do you do when the only thing that comforts you is the presence of evil? When that is all that you are used to? Anabelle was born spreading death and misery wherever she went. But why? Is it the shadow that follows her and protects her as everything else withers away? Accompanied by low and drawn out instrumentals, the lyrics of this song perpetuate a relationship that is parasitic and addictive in nature, one that you thought you overcame but it persists. Anabelle craves love from the living and dreads the darkness that lingers and keeps her isolated. Still, she is plagued by her need to have it close or else her loneliness will destroy her.

Ira [Daisy -Brand New]

I'm a mountain that has been moved I'm a river that is all dried up I'm an ocean nothing floats on I'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in I'm a sun that doesn't burn hot I'm a moon that never shows its face I'm a mouth that doesn't smile I'm a word that no one ever wants to say

I am nothing. I crave to become everything. Ira is an anomaly. He exists but in a plane that no living creature can exist, all he knows, he knows from a dream that connects to his. She is beautiful, living, while he is nothing. Envy feeds his hunger, but nothing ever happens. HE shouldn't exist, yet he does. A paradox, much like the message of this song. The dream persists and reminds him that he should exist. But why is he here and not there? Maybe she can help him become real, and not a dream.

_________________________________

AND that's it for that lol! I have way more characters that I have music for (but i don't have official finalized sim versions of them) so i just included these guys for now, I could include my Envidia story characters but i felt like this post is pretty long as it is sajkfa my bad. LOL all my song choices are existential/depressing save for Ai, because he's built different lol.

[margueritedaisies]

I just love drawing families of fictional characters, its interesting to think of how each sibling would look. I try to make them different from one another but at the same time maintain familial similarities.

Jinzha resembles their mom, Muzha their dad, and Nezha's a good mix of both.

Also get ready with some sibling dynamic rant, mostly relation HCs by me.

Enough with the parent child dynamic

I want sibling dynamic. Where these three come to terms on what happened between them. Specifically Muzha and Nezha's interaction is the one I want to see.

Tbh those two's fates in the myth reminded me of Hyakkimaru and Tahomaru in Dororo.

Like Nezha and Muzha had so much potential to gain solidarity with each other. Because Jinzha could never relate to them as the ignored or unwanted child. Muzha has that middle child stuggle fr.

Muzha is the one so eager to gain their fathers favor trying to meet Jinzha's level . Nezha wants nothing from his father so he makes himself worse.

Muzha's frustration with Nezha is that Nezha is rebellious, disrespectful of their dad

While Nezha's frustration to Muzha is that Muzha is so blinded and always struggling to achieve something so futile. Deep down he hates how Muzha is suffering this way but he wouldnt speak of it. This is why they always at odds.

They should make a movie focusin the Li brothers fr

Other than overusing the actual myths.

Fuck the ending from the original myth, they didnt even consider how the children felt from all the abuse. Not even mention of Muzha's death.

Enough Ao Bing, what about Muzha???

And the moral lesson is just about "respecting elders"?? The story still had so much to wrap up. How can you call this a family if there is some sort of hierarchal system. A family requires empathy to maintain that connection.

Tbh its kinda realistic

Families and siblings can still inflict trauma from each other .And a story based on reconcilation is a good way for this to be about family counselling.

I wanna see the "what ifs". It could be each brothers own story of self healing from the trauma caused on each other.

Maybe Im getting my hopes up too much, but it could be a development for them to forgive, start anew and an opportunity to connect and catch up on what they missed on each other.

Edit:

As for Jinzha he also has his own struggles as the eldest. Keeping up the station as the golden favored and perfect son. But its Asian family dynamics, which means hes in a lot of pressure. But he is mentally and emotionally strong. The brothers always busy on his studies ,future responsibilities and training to be able to spend time together. Their timetables seemed to be planned out to always not meet. Jinzha especially had less freetime. And if he ever came across any of his brothers, it was only one of them never both.

He doesnt mind being a buffer for the other two feuding but it does stress him out that it will never change. But he'll make sure to give time and attention to both of them as much as he can.

Other than keeping up his fathers expectations he also doesnt want to fail as a big brother to them🥺😭

Muzha and Nezha can see his efforts so they do not dare hold anything against him. Muzha still keeps his competitive attitude when Jinzha's around but accepts any offered kindness from Jinzha. While Nezha enjoys his company when he gets the chance.

Also because I tend to hold on to this little bit of bonding😭🥺🥺Jinzha trying to be the best big bro

Thinking of the contrast in the future where Jinzha was tasked to torture Nezha destroyed me😭😭😭What did Jinzha even feel while he had to do it??

Also here some Nezha with his hair down again

[soulc-hilde]

Two Halves of a Whole

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Ben x Black! Supe! OFC

Warnings: It's Soldier Boy/The Boys Universe, so there's a list of bullshit like... swearing, slurs, depictions and mentions of sexual acts, depictions and mentions of drug abuse/addiction, negligence to mental trauma/illnesses, mentions of non-consensual acts, depictions and mentions of unethical medical practices, depictions and mentions of government manipulation, etc.

Synopsis: Benjamin. A boy forced into a man by society. A boy in search for praise and acceptance turned into a weapon. Despite the fame and women, hell, drugs, he's believed himself to be alone with no one to vent to -- not like they'd actually listen. Serene was a young girl, a victim, forced to undergo unethical medicinal practices in order to "better" the American people. The same people who lived to see folks like her dead and groveling. The first ever Supes.

prologue | chapter 1 |

"Subject A, dash, 00A1, please state your name and the reason for your donation to science," a monotone voice orders from behind the old camera, his voice echoing off the metal walls.

"My name is Serene Clendon," the young woman introduces herself. "I believe that science can lead a better understanding of the human body and how culture and society affects us. I even believe that this can create an environment that even my future children could thrive in."

The man scoffs, "yeah. Sure. Subject 00A1, stand to your feet." She does, a look of uncertainty drawing across her round features. He continues, "now commence prologue sequence."

Her almond shaped eyes take on a golden hue, illuminating her face hauntingly. Her small, curved figure becomes weightless as she slowly begins to levitate. Arms raising from her sides, golden orbs of energy form within each palm. Underneath her dark skin, a glow of heat begins to pulse as golden veins of power draw across the surface of her skin.

"Beautiful," the man smirks, cutting off the camera. Turning to look over his shoulder, he barks a short order. "Snuff her out and take her to surgery," he steps out of the glowing room.

In pearly white, near heaven resembling, lab laid a young blond -- nearly brunet -- man. His strong, charming features steeled in hopes of preventing his thoughts from being readable. He may have wanted his father's praise, even going as far as joining the war and volunteering for this brand new company.

As they advertised, they were willing to take soldiers who wished to excel the abilities of the average God abiding man and turn him into the God. Of course, such things were nothing more than sweet words in hopes of receiving great cash in exchange for their work. Which makes it smart to offer their services to the military, of all corporations, first.

With hesitance, generals studied and tested their soldiers in search of who could be stupid enough, desperate to put their body through hell and become a scientific toy. Benjamin was one of the nominees and came out the winner. Not like he'd really call himself such.

Especially now as a young woman was wheeled into the same, her body lays limp on the gurney. He watches as the doctors lay her onto the metal table beside him, tediously strapping every limb they could find. He raises an eyebrow at the strange woman.

"What's she doing here?" He asks, turning his gaze to the doctors who avoid meeting his eyes.

Much like they have since he's arrived to the laboratory, they ignore his questions and continue about their tasks. He continues one question after another, "did she also volunteer? I thought this was a program for soldiers only? Did I miss something?"

Dr. Frederick Vought steps into the room, equipped with protective gear. "Don't be outrageous, Benjamin," he softly snorts, "Serene is a volunteer to science. Your success in leading our country to victory lies within her blood."

"I have searched years to find her since her descent to our great world," Frederick rambles on, shuffling through his tools with the purpose to organize them properly for the surgery. "Such a mysterious person. No fool-proof background checks, no social security. Not even a birth certificate. It's as if she never existed."

"Do you know what a mutant is, Benjamin?" He asks. The boy's mouth opens and closes, searching for an answer. The doctor chuckles, "of course not. I forgot, for a moment, just who exactly I was speaking to."

He sighs, "anyways. The race of Negroes have shown great potential as test rats, their resilient bodies and genetics so unlike their European counterparts. If it wasn't for the average negro, we wouldn't have discovered ways to prevent skin cancer or what chemicals in makeup can be harmful and what cannot."

"As much as I'd hate to say it," he shrugs, "they are America's finest, working mule. Be a shame if we were to just kill them all." Benjamin simply shakes his head in response. "Enough with your monologue, doctor, I'd like to get this process done while I'm still young."

Frederick nods, turning away from the two bodies. "Subjects A-00A1 and A-00A2 are ready. Release the hinderance and begin the process." He steps out of the room, muttering, "by tonight, we will make history."

[kevinsdsy]

okay so.... Kevin and Renee anon again but... it's not about Kevin or Renee, it's about Neil (my actual favorite from the series he's so.... personal man)

I want... crave.. NEED a smidge of an acknowledgement for Neil and Mary's relationship because it is so fucking underrated and untalked about. I get it that it's way more interesting to mention how he resembles Nathan and actively works against that but nobody talks about how he embraces his mama's side. That readiness, that fire to fight back, sure he's his daddy's son but to MEEEEEE he's his mama's boy. He ran with her, learned with her, he took care of her in her last moments and even then he did as he knew she would like. She supported him how she could and even after death there are things that he carries with her in mourning. Like the cigarettes, his attentiveness might be a product of paranoia but it's also a trait of his mother's and don't even get me started on his relationship with Abby my god.

okay enough yapping im embarrassed again ACK

I LOVE MOTHERHOOD AND I COULD WRITE A TEN PAGE ESSAY ABOUT IT IN EVERY KIND OF CONTEXT LIKE !!!

the way neil’s mother didn’t take the chance on neil failing his try-out and instead took him away to live a life on the run to make sure he would be alive the next day. to make sure she could keep holding on him even though it put a target on her back too. like i think about it a great deal.

and i understand neil was subjected to a great deal of abuse and trauma because of it, but i also think it was due to the life mary lived and not knowing any better than the kind of life she was been subjected to herself. AND DO NOT THINK I’M OKAY WITH THE ABUSE NEIL HAD TO PUT UP WITH FROM HIS MOTHER I WOULD RATHER KMS THAN BE PERCEIVED THAT WAY!!! i’m just saying their relationship is a whole lot more complicated than we could ever understand and i’m a sucker for analysing complicated relationships, especially when it comes to mothers.

even with everything neil had to go through he cares for his mother and he mourns her and carries her with him (in secret, but not in shame), and god, i genuinely could write essays about all these characters man.

AND PLEASE ANON DONT BE EMBARRASSED I LOVE HAVING YOU IN MY INBOX it gives me a reason to talk my shit too 🙂‍↕️

[dinarosie]

I love snape as a character too but I don’t think it’s super appropriate to use the recent suicide of a real child to prop up the character. I understand what you’re trying to say but it feels like it’s crossing a line to use this very real persons death as an intro to a fandom post

I completely understand where you're coming from. My intention wasn’t to trivialize the very real tragedy of a child’s suicide by connecting it to a fictional character. Rather, I aimed to highlight the painful realities that many people, especially children, face—realities that sometimes mirror the struggles of characters like Severus Snape. The story of Snape is more to me than just a character in a fictional world.He represents, for me, all the children who are bullied, humiliated, and abused at home and in school. These children, like the one in the tragic news, often endure unimaginable pain.

When I write about him, I’m writing about the real-life experiences of suffering, and trauma. These aren’t just fictional problems—they are very real, and they deserve our attention and empathy.

The reactions people have toward Snape, who is a fictional character, are often the same reactions people have toward real individuals who resemble him in life. It saddens me to see how Snape's pain is dismissed in the story simply because of his appearance. Some believe he doesn't deserve love, redemption, or a chance at life because of how he looks, which reflects the disturbing treatment many real people face. It's heartbreaking that individuals are judged and mistreated because they don't meet societal standards of attractiveness, and their pain is disregarded because they aren't charming or likable enough to gain widespread approval.

One of the people who reblogged my post shared that they also considered suicide as a child due to the bullying they endured she wanted people to take such matters seriously . This post was written specifically for people like them. I am thankful that they survived, but they are just one of the few who managed to make it through. So many others are silently lost to this same struggle.

In general, I wanted to make a broader point about the importance of recognizing the invisible pain that many endure, and how a lack of empathy and kindness can sometimes lead to devastating consequences. I hope to raise awareness and foster understanding for people who are suffering in silence and who might be saved by even the smallest act of kindness. (I have a small blog, and I know I can't make a huge impact, but I do what I can)   I appreciate you bringing this up, and I hope this clarifies my intention.

[annawayne]

Yo wait does that mean that all these chapters were just..? Like annie being delusional💀 or did she go crazy what’s happening

Hello anon!

Oh, thank you a lot for your question and for your MYLYSW reading, I appreciate it a lot T///T 🖤

My Yellow Light in Your Soft Whispers spoilers

As for your question, Annie isn't delusional and don't worry! All these chapters really did happen, only Rósa wasn't real, everything else was and is real! (Except for the Annie's little version of herself as a child that she calls a "girl with yellow armband" and "the shadow", but it's more of her unresolved trauma personification, rather delusions)

As for Rósa, yes, this woman really never existed. But she existed all this time in deep, deep corners of Annie's mind as a mother figure she never had. If you reread some chapters where Rósa appears, for example, in chapter 5, she disappears as strangely as she appears near Annie. Plus, we don't see Rósa interacting with no one, but only Annie.

In chapter 6, there's the following part:

Nine years old Annie saw for the first time the representation of mother figure and it really affected her - especially , that this woman held the child who resembled Annie. Giving her abusive father, it strongly hit her. Even if she didn't have a mother, this association strongly stayed in her mind as someone who protects.

And, come back to chapter 2, and you can see Rósa's descriptions:

She has the same black hair as the woman from the legend, and in chapter 5, we have more details of her appearance that she has the same grayish blue eyes - like indirect Annie's attempt to link herself to this woman as if they're really related.

So, let's, Rósa is Annie's response to all these traumatic events and trying to find a solace in someone's words and care, who isn't related directly to all of it and who can just say that Annie is "alright". It's more like a copy mechanism, which is built on several traumas and images from her childhood.

The good news is that the next chapter will dive in details about it! I hope to provide all the answers to this, and explain how this Rósa figure appears in Annie's mind as a response to trauma too strong to process all alone. I'll try to do my best, and I hope it clears everything T^T

In any case, thank you so much for reading and asking this, anon! I hope my answer clarified a bit this moment (and also calmed down :D)

[cator99]

I very respectfully, tactfully, reasonably addressed the flag issue with my housemates, stated my perspective, was well-received by almost everyone, only for The ACAB Tattoo FTMs shut it down, citing how POC can't hide their marginalization so as a white person I have a responsibility to take on some of the burden & the risk of visibility. So of course with everyones white guilt activated they went Oh, Right! (Love when "minority issues" are nonsensically flattened onto the same plane) I even addressed prior to this that yes I do think it does make a positive impact when other people are able to feel welcome and supported in the neighbourhood by knowing there's other LGBT people but when I come home to a burnt flag vandalized with homophobia waiting for me on the welcome mat, knowing that if I had been home 2 minutes sooner I would have seen it happen, I feel neither welcome nor supported & I dont think that flags & sloganeering come close to being helpful for anyone in the long run especially when the people in the community being advocated for by said flags & slogans are being put at risk by what is supposed to serve as a signifier of solidarity. This isnt solidarity, its asking that we needlessly put ourselves in potential danger for the wellbeing of– who, exactly? They spewed out something about how my "trauma response" is "valid" (flase virtue moment! Reducing the issue to aesthetic representations of Freedom while depriving the people it represents of anything resembling such a thing!) but we have a "responsibility" to be "visibly queer". As if I have not primarily moved through the world as such. As if the times I have been stealth werent predicated upon a lifetime of ostracization harassment and outright abuse for being a gender nonconforming female & a homosexual one at that. I dont wallow in it but come on! What does any of this do for anyone! Good Feels dont pay the rent or provide legal protections. But of course people like these housemates of mine think legal protections = assimilationist & society needs to be burned to the ground & the average working class person is too problematic to be saved so lets just kill everyone but also we were put on this earth to love one another lol OK why dont you start first by showing you posess the capacity to be considerate about the people within your own household? This whole activist larp is such an obvious ego thing... Come on. Even thinking outside of my own desire for dignity how is anyone Im supposed to be useful to others in any way if they're busy dealing with being harassed? How could I ever hope to "help the LGBT community"– since that's apparently all that matters god forbid a female lead ones own life without being a martyr one way or a fucking other– in the long run, if in the short-term I cant just go home & not have to worry about my roommates doing something stupid like gluing shards of glass to the back of the new flag which will only serve to further anger people intent on harassing us, potentially escalating the situation?

[spicybylerpolls]

Interesting points from anon who argued for bottom mike there. Thanks for being so generous with your explanation for your preference! 

I found this interesting: i guess my main reasoning for him being a bratty bottom is just how he acts sometimes through the show, his clear distaste for being told what to do and his snappy comebacks.

To me, this indicates that mike very much would not want to be told what to do in the bedroom, and would thus take control. Distaste… so why would he like being told what to do in the bedroom? 

I mean, maybe, as a kink, as a relief, in the way people who engage in d/s culture enjoy the separation from their reality. But that’s also a highly self aware and advanced sexual expression that requires knowledge and courage. Your average virgin does not immediately engage in bdsm culture or even understand its psychology. Most people barely know what they like in the bedroom, let alone the complex dynamics of bdsm and d/s. 

Which leads me to the realisation of how interesting it is to see such common dom/sub conversations around byler sex in this fandom. it speaks to the fact that fandom is very fantasy- and imagination-based rather than just working with what is canon. It's so intriguing, because I personally came to fandom hoping to discuss the show, almost analytically like we were in media class, and found lots of fantasy play and headcanons and stuff, which I hadn't known were a thing. At first it didnt make sense to me... why would you want to celebrate characters/a show but make it completely into something that no longer resembles that show or those characters??

I understand fandom better now, but even so re: sex, I would say that irl, at least 50% of people dont engage in dom/sub dynamics in their sex life at all, or even anything that would be considered kinky or fetish. In fact, one you've removed the percentage of people who don’t have sex at all, a large portion of sexually active people (especially women) don’t engage in even the simplest kind of vanilla sex where they ask for the bare minimum of what they would enjoy, what they want, know what they want - many dont even enjoy sex or know how to orgasm. This doesnt mean their sex is abusive or toxic or they have a history of trauma, but just that they dont feel comfortable or that it’s their place to ask for pleasure. They just do what they think they should do, 'normal sex' (a common historic phrase here was 'lie back and think of england' lmao... basically what royal queens were told to think as their husbands butchered them in the least enjoyable way possible).

(I also always found the scene with Steve’s mean friends in s1, after he and Nancy have sex, uncomfortable because they were clearly taking the mick out of Nancy when imitating her screams, and it highlighted how performative that sexual experience may well have been for Nancy. I mean, if Steve made her cum during her first time? Damn, he’s good. But chances are he didn’t, and nancy’s storyline was partially about performances and status in s1, so her first time w Steve also being performative is a possibility. It makes the barb storyline even sadder too.)

But back to byler. theyre boys so dynamic will be different to a man and woman, but I think dom/sub conversation comes up so much more in gay sex, and is it because people just can’t see gay men as being equals in the bedroom? Even though people have no issue imaging equal sex with a man and woman, despite a similar dynamic of who is penetrating? But two men? Nope, one must be dom or sub, one must be more powerful, even if you’re a power bottom you’re still a power something. Why can’t it be equal? Why do we ALWAYS have to refer to dom and sub? 

I’m not saying that dynamic wouldnt exist for byler at some point, or that it’s no good, but it doesn’t need to be the only frame of reference. Sure, byler don’t always have to have penetrative sex either, but even if they are, will it ever be possible to talk about topping and bottoming without power dynamics being involved? Equal union, joining of bodies, not an inkling of power in sight. In fact, not even using the term ‘topping’ and ‘bottoming’, which may well have origins in physicality, such as the missionary position, but certainly also hold connotations of power. Who’s on top? Who’s bottom? I don’t love the wording tbh, and I wonder what the history of that is in gay culture. 

"Which leads me to the realization of how interesting it is to see such common dom/sub conversations around byler sex in this fandom. it speaks to the fact that fandom is very fantasy- and imagination-based rather than just working with what is canon. It's so intriguing, because I personally came to fandom hoping to discuss the show, almost analytically like we were in media class, and found lots of fantasy play and headcanons and stuff"

This is so interesting to me - it reminds me of that one anon the regular byler poll blog got recently about their confusion as to why people were speculating about things they can't possibly know the answer to. But yeah, you're right that a significant portion of fandom is imagination/headcanon based, and I agree with the anon on the byler polls account who pointed out that this is largely personality-driven, where some are all about this and others are... very much not.

All your other points are super interesting too! What does everyone else think?

[wintergrofyuri]

i had to write down my mithrun ship thoughts. i rlly struggle with my stance on shipping mithrun with anyone, bc like. i genuinely dont believe he's thinking about any of that stuff like. at all. he's so obsessed with the demon and killing it (or finally dying by it) that he barely even eats ykno. i do think he has friends, but like. thats where it ends ykno. like. its pretty vague how having no/little to no desires works rlly and it just further muddles my thoughts on it all. but what we Do know, is that it basically boils down to horrible, awful trauma. the demon is pretty much just an abusive relationship. a magical abusive relationship, but still. someone you thought you could trust, someone you confided in, but really they were just using you for their own gain. and when they're done with you, they leave you lost and empty. it scars you.

to me, mithrun is still too focused on that relationship. his anger and hurt has turned into obsession. he wants to hurt it, kill it, destroy it before it can hurt anyone else. he doesnt see himself as a person anymore. he's a weapon. solely for the purpose of taking down the demon. he cant sleep, he cant eat, his body is nothing but a tool designed to kill the person who made it. like a cyanide pill.

so no i dont really think mithrun would be into anything resembling an actual romantic relationship.

now thats not to say he doesnt care about his friends. hes human, despite how much he's convinced himself hes not. humans need companionship to survive. connections and relationships. i think he has a difficult time realizing he cares tho. or letting himself accept others' care. its all very complicated and messy, especially with the canaries. kabru had to basically take a baseball bat to his skull to get him to stop being an idiot and realize he has things to fucking live for. piece of shit.

so. cithis and lycion arent romantic. milsiril is a weird codependant thing. idk i have trouble putting it into words. and senshi.. he can teach him how to properly hold a knife.. they're perfect for each other. really i think senshi is the best option possible for mithrun. the more i think about it the more im endeared by it.

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 33 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 34

Summary: Things are getting back to normal but Loki can't stop thinking about his heritage.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Mention of torture and psychological trauma, violence, guns, discussion of mental health, Smutty smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

"Yeah baby that's good ..right there" he let out a small moan and it made your mouth curve into a smile. He was so pretty whenever he moaned and you just wanted to keep him like this forever.

"Mmmhmmm? You feel good daddy?"

"Ohhh my.. yesss sweetheart, can you get deeper? Use those goddamn nails" his voice came out all raspy so you chuckled in response.

"You sound as if we're having sex"

"What? Noooo..well it does feel good" he got bashful as you hinted towards the moaning and groaning.

He had an itch in the middle of his back and his hands couldn't reach the spot so you were just helping him out but those moans were not helping. It's been two months since that awful day when he actually died on you, there were several nights you woke up sweating because you saw yourself holding onto his cold lifeless body. However he was always there to calm you down, you had to feel the warmth of his body and the touch of his lips to get yourself back to the reality.

"Okay lovebirds, help with the dinner please?" You heard Jane's voice so you looked behind and Loki peeked to the side as well. You both were at Thor's dungeon to celebrate his birthday, he didn't want to celebrate it but Jane was relentless about it, he was living in the city since they had started to date but you all wanted to come here to get away from there.

You couldn't wrap your head around the idea that the place where you were brought once after being kidnapped would end up becoming your comfort zone. You two always stayed in the room with the roof window, you loved it so much especially on rainy days and it was raining today, you couldn't wait to make love to him surrounded by the sounds of rain splattering on the window above you. You got up reluctantly and moved to the kitchen to help her, it was difficult trying to maintain a personal as well as a professional relationship with her because you both were definitely doing the documentary.

You two were getting trained to talk in front of the cameras when sharing about your past. Loki almost cried the day you both went to meet the actors they had hired for dramatic reenactments. The little girl held an uncanny resemblance to you and he was extremely emotional throughout the day after meeting her.

However working under Jane's production was also a little assuring because you could tell she genuinely wanted to make this as realistic as possible and didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize her relationship with Thor. She really did love him but he was just a tad difficult, just like how Loki used to be, he still was sometimes when he got into his head a bit too much but you always managed to pull him back to you. That's all he needed.

Since that day you could tell he was slightly troubled, you didn't want to snoop around but once he left his phone unattended and through his search history you found out that he was researching about the Norse myths for some reason, you wanted to talk to him about it but you didn't want to accuse him of anything. Things were just starting to get normal, maybe he was just curious, you knew he'd talk to you if he wanted to share this with you.

As Thor stepped out of his room you hugged him and wished him a happy birthday.

"You seem to be in a good mood" you teased him and he chuckled in response.

"Thanks starling. well we just had sex soooo" you gasped and you could tell from Jane's expressions that she wanted to dig a hole beneath the ground and jump in there.

Loki wanted to help in the kitchen but you dragged him out and made him sit down with his brother, they were having a few drinks while they played cards and every time your eyes met with him he smiled at you. There was something about the way he looked at you these days that had got you feeling all warm and giddy, it's not that he didn't treat you tenderly before but it mostly felt one sided, he wanted to soak you in his love but he was afraid of receiving it but since that incident he had been trying to get out of his shell and accept the love you wanted to give him. In and out of the bedroom.

The other day he actually allowed you to stay on top of him for a good few minutes while you rode him to heaven, his fingers stayed clutched into your hair, he was still dominating but he wasn't restricted in the way he wanted to be intimate with you.

Loki couldn't stop staring at you while you helped Jane in the kitchen, he wondered how you were getting prettier and prettier by the day. Everytime your eyes met with each other you had a flushed smile on your face and he had to restrain himself from wanting to get up and reach you so he could drown you in millions of kisses.

After his divorce he has vowed to himself that he'd never open his heart to someone ever again and he probably didn't even need to do that for you. You were always in there in his heart in one way or another, he had shoved the love he felt for you aside but it was all out in the open now and he just wanted to make you as happy as possible because he really adored that little look on your face and the sound of your giggles whenever he was giving you all the love that you truly deserved.

"Are you even listening to me?" Thor asked him and it pulled him out of his daydreaming. Thor poured him another drink so he chugged on it in one gulp.

"What were you saying?"

"Mother called this morning, wanted to see me" Loki looked at Thor curiously. Apparently Frigga was in an old age home in NYC, it was either that or a psychiatric hospital.

"Are you going to?"

"Not anytime soon..no" Loki hummed as Thor said that.

He himself had a talk with Frigga a few days ago, all these years he thought of her as his mother, she wasn't the best mother, obviously, but she was all he had in his life as a maternal figure. Discovering that he wasn't even her son had affected him, sure he was relieved to not have Odin's blood running through his veins but then who did he belong to?

The question kept bothering him so he asked her about his own family and where they kidnapped him from but she kept saying that he was Laufey's son, the son that Laufey had to give up to please the goddess Freyja. Just to entertain her he asked why did they keep him if he was the enemy's child and Frigga then told him that that's how Odin wanted it, he wanted to keep him like the prize of war so eventually when they all will return to Asgard, Odin could use him as a weapon against Laufey.

Of Course he didn't want to believe in the folklore but then why couldn't he stop thinking about it? Why was he getting so obsessed with the truth about his heritage?

"Let's play truth or dare" Jane said as you both sat down to join them for drinks, you didn't really like whiskey but Thor had vodka so Loki made you a little something to drink.

"Are you like ..four?" Loki asked her and she glared at him. The first time they met each other they both felt zero mutual attraction and it made sense now because he wasn't her type at all, his brother was. And now they had formed this endearing sibling type of relationship that you adored from the distance, only from the distance though because they got too childish sometimes.

"What kind of adult ass four year olds have you been around?" He rolled his eyes as she retorted. You had to use the bathroom so you excused yourself. You were washing your face when you felt someone's hand on your shoulder, it made you yelp and jump on your spot. You truly hated being alone these days

"It's just me..calm down sweetheart..just me yeahh?" he whispered as he pulled you closer, he could feel your heart threatening to burst out of your chest so he placed it hand on your chest and caressed gently.

"I'm sorry" you mumbled under your breath and he shook his head before he hugged you tightly, as soon as his scent infiltrated your senses you felt at peace.

"You okay my love?" He asked you so you nodded, the gray t-shirt he had worn was too tight on his body but you weren't complaining, you could feel every inch of rippling muscles underneath the fabric. After a few seconds he pulled you away and took his shirt off to dab the water off your soaked face. Again you weren't complaining at all. Your eyes fell upon the scar the wound had left behind, it was the constant reminder of what had happened but it was also the proof of the insurmountable godly strength your man carried within him.

"You're sooo drunk aren't you?" You giggled and it made him smile.

"I thought you liked the drunk me"

"I love the drunk you and the non drunk you" you grabbed the shirt from his hand and threw it behind you before you stepped closer to him. He stumbled on his feet as he took a step back.

"Feeling wobbly are we?" He noticed the change in the inflection but he wasn't going to fight it today, he had no will to do so. You grabbed his arm and took him back into the room then you sat him down on the bed, he tilted his head and gave you a small smile, pressing him down on the bed you straddled him, the back of his fingers ran over your cheek.

"I loveee it when you look like this" he mumbled softly.

"Like what?"

"This.. so freshh and natureeee..just the way you are meant to be" he was so drunk, you could tell by the way he was slurring on his words.

"Did you mean to say natural?"

"What did I sayyy?"

You giggled before you grabbed his hand in yours, you placed soft kisses on his fingertips one by one before you sucked the middle finger in your mouth, the digit disappeared completely in the warmth and you heard a desperate moan escape his throat.

"Would you still love me if I was ummm..uhhh big?" You looked at him curiously as he said that, was he insecure about his body? He didn't get any workout in the last two months except the sex of course but that had no negative effect on his physique whatsoever, his metabolism was crazily high.

"I'd love you no matter what lo..you know that right?" You asked him as you leaned over to him to kiss him.

"If I was blue in color and had scars all over my body, would you still love me?" you chuckled as he mumbled and it made him smile too.

"You could get as big as you want and you could be blue or red I won't care, I'd continue to be obsessed with every little inch of you, big or small" you whispered the last words in his ear and he smiled but then something else started to bother him, he had no grip on his emotions but atleast he knew he could always share the matters of his heart with you and you'd never judge him for that.

"I went to heaven when I died"

His eyes teared up so you sat up taking him along with you, you both were still healing from the trauma that Odin had inflicted upon you two, sure he was opening himself to you more and more but it also left him feeling extremely vulnerable and you were more than happy to take care for him during such moments.

"You did?" You curled your fingers around his neck to caress the nape and he put his head down on your chest.

"Mmmm.. I know Jennifer forgave me but it was because I helped her, but…what about those girls I didn't help?" His eyes welled up even more and the look on his face broke your heart "They died an untimely death and I get to go to heaven? Meeee?" He questioned you so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him as softly as you could.

He had mentioned before that when he died he went to a place that seemed perfect, he met a woman who claimed to be his real mother but you just figured that he was dreaming, he was technically dead for 9 minutes and maybe he had those Dreams after they brought him back and he just got confused.

"Maybe they were there as well, how would you know? You were only there for nine minutes" you said to him, your thumbs rubbed over his cheeks to wipe the tears away and he nodded like a child. He wanted to believe your words. Maybe they were there and he didn't see them.

"You think they would forgive me?" He looked at you again as he sniffled

"I'm sure they already have lolo" you whispered softly and laid him back down on the bed slowly.

"Would you touch me please?" He questioned you, the dim light in the room, the sound of the rain hitting the window above you two and his body underneath made you feel intoxicated. You trailed your fingernails down from his sternum and he sucked in a breath as you reached his torso, it didn't take you long to unbutton his pants and grab his hard cock in your hand. Latching your lips onto his neck you sucked a mark while stroking him simultaneously.

"That's good lolo?"

"Mmmmm yesss please..don't stop"

"Not going to baby" he moaned at the pet name as it made him feel so small, so little but he didn't despise it, he wanted to feel small beneath you, for once he just wanted to feel free and allow his girl to do whatever and however she wanted to do it.

"You're so pretty lolo, i always wanted to tell you that you are the prettiest thing I have ever known in my life..in every fucking way" he gasped as you took him inside you, every inch of his body felt aflamed when you started to roll your hips back and forth, he grabbed onto the headboard and watched your breasts jiggling with every move you made, once in a while he grabbed them in his hands, they fit just right, just perfect enough.

You didn't ask him or command him to cum, none of you had to say a word as both of your orgasms approached, your bodies felt synchronized and you were able to clench around him at the same time as he had filled you up.

You felt completely spent so you laid down on his chest in order to collect your breaths. He could feel you starting to doze off but sleep was the last thing on his mind, he felt extremely awake after that mind-blowing release.

"Lolo?"

"Mmmhm?"

"Why did you ask me if I'd love you being all blue and stuff?" He chuckled as you questioned him.

"Just a thought sweetheart..just a silly thought" you hummed as he said that.

It wasn't just a thought though, either something has awakened inside him or he was finally losing the last bits of his sanity because as he lifted his right hand up that he was using to caress your back, he could have sworn that he saw streaks of blue flashing through his pale skin. He saw it with his own eyes and he didn't know what to think of it.

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

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