#especially with bad and tina
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cheese-water · 9 months ago
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Please write more posts about Soulfire
YES COACH o7
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suckerforfluff · 1 year ago
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ppl: discussing about which players should be shuffled for balance/self indulgence
me, holding on to the current teams for dear life: NO PLEASE DON'T TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME i want red team to get worse. i want green team, full of lone wolves and natural leaders, to keep arguing with each other while still getting shit done. i want blue team to keep being stubborn menaces with the most tragically wholesome and efficient farming subteam LET ME KEEP THEM A LITTLE LONGER PLEASE I BEG
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lionheartedmusings · 1 year ago
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is there any bigger show of love than someone willing to kill and maim to keep you safe? is it not so very easy to love a monster when it's claws are gentle against your cheek?
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bloodandfleshautism · 24 days ago
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just watched the borderlands movie and the only good part was that krieg’s little harness thingo lowkey looked like a very skimpy little bra thing sometimes
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he needs some back support with those jugs ofc
#it wasn’t AS bad as I thought it would be#but it was not good#at all#idk why they changed so much of the story and just like Made It Worse#why did they make Tina’s dad head of atlas? why not just keep her parents killed off? why did they mischaracterise her so badly?#why was she annoying? why was she an experiment? why not use a more compelling villain than Guy Who Looks And Acts As Bland As Possible#the villain was simply. no good#I wish they used jack 😔#I also wish they didn’t do the Lilith’s mum subplot bc it was a little off??? somehow?#and Tannis and Lilith’s relationship wasn’t particularly fulfilling#claptrap was even more annoying#the jokes weren’t funny#the sfx were NOT as bad as everyone said they were I’m sorry I thought they were fine aside from a few weird shots in some chase sequences#another thing I don’t get that much was ppl hating Lilith’s hair bc it’s doesn’t look like in the games#ppl compared the wig to wigs that cosplayers use that look rly accurate and good but#u have to take into account#that it’s rly hard to stylise a live action movie to look something like boarderlands and most cosplays are made to look good statically#things that look good in cosplay and in the game will not look good in a live action action sequences#like if u gave her a cosplay wig it would look great and accurate but it also would be completely rigged in the wind and would not move#like real hair#which would probably be incredibly jarring to see in a live action film especially with all the action#was the hair great? no. I still think it could’ve been vastly improved on while remaining realistic for a live action movie#but I think some people hold it to unrealistic standards in their criticisms or whatever#also costumes have to be actually movable and breathable bc REAL people are shooting REAL scenes and doing stunts and shit in them#but. yeah. the costumes could definitely have had some improvement#I think that if u wanted to make a borderlands film that was accurate to the design of the characters it would be easier to do it animated#and the writing?#we do not speak about the writing good lord#borderlands movie#borderlands
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brittie-frog · 1 year ago
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Tina having no idea what to do with her pent up anxious energy during the date so they start running laps around the room while talking is so on brand and relatable.
And then the drinking 4 glasses of wine and a beer - no Tina don't get drunk on your date while surrounded by the 3 dollars Facebook marketplace entertainment and decoration.
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jimmyjrsmusoems · 1 year ago
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i was never allowed to have people over growing up so the first time my parents let me invite some friends over (including the boy i liked) i acted exactly like tina does in this scene
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extinctfowl · 1 year ago
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the fact ive seen werewolf aus for every team Except blue when missa canonically did(the most weak and pathetic) howl is so so sad. i alone carry the torch of blue werewolves
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itsmistyeyedbi · 3 months ago
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This might be a silly question but...do anyone of your detective's believe in fate? Why or why not? Did their view of it change after meeting Unit Bravo and experiencing the events of the twc books?
#zuri does to a certain extent#she believes that sometimes things are going to happen and you have no control over it happening#but you can control how you react to it#that includes some of the bad shit that happens so sometimes she loves it and other times she despises it#its not really a belief she...actively thinks about if that makes sense? but it does play a role in how she thinks about some things#not consistently but if you got her to talk about the way she thinks for long enough she'd probably realise that its a thing that is there#an example of this is... she knows her relationship with rebecca was going to change after room died#she knew that she'd become more distant#it's the fact that she never even tried to be her mother that hurts her#they wouldve never been a super close mother daughter duo but she couldve still been her mother and she chose not to be#another one is ub - theyre gonna get hurt and she knows that#people get hurt all the time especially when they have the type of job ub has - she just doesnt want that hurt to be because of her#if there's something she can do to minimise or outright eliminate the possibility of them getting hurt because of her she will do it#its why she gets so protective of them by book 4 (and why her hurting her li with the solar powers does a number on her)#zuri is the type of person who feels wanted when someone just TRIES for her - even if its against logic#even if what happens between them is going to end and is sometimes going to hurt#not the healthiest way of thinking lol but it is a thing#dont ask her about rook's death tho#or murphy#because thats when she despises the idea of fate and when its most lost on her that she does to some extent believe in it#you could say this is just life but she looks at certain things as though theyre canon events so idk💀#it also might just be her abandonment issues but hey dont our issues inform what we believe sometimes?#im hoping i don't sound dumb lol#tina is the only one who's challenged this belief - she (and her ex) is the reason why its flexible#ub are probably gonna be another reason soon#twc#the wayhaven chronicles#twc detective#oc: zuri jackson
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golden--doodler · 1 year ago
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In case y’all don’t know, my side blog, @goldendoodlerlockerlove’s, banner is a complete gif of this song from Video Killed the Gene-io Star because it lives rent-free in my head forever and always:
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(Took most of the dialogue from this as it’s one of my favorite scene in gaming!)
Nick: “Jasmine, you’re fifteen years old. You should consider eating something other than boxed Mac n cheese.” (Takes out a container from his bag) “I brought you food for lunch-”
Jasmine: (Jumps back in alarm) “OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!?
Hancock: (Also goes flying back in fear at the green monstrosity)
Nick: (Calmly at the two Drama Queens) “It’s a salad.”
Jasmine: (Dives behind a confused Danse) “WHY IS IT GREEN IT LOOKS LIKE THE DEVIL!!!”
Nick: “Just calm down, doll.”
Hancock: (Examines the offered dish) “Eh, she’s got a point. It looks like you shredded a Super Mutant then tossed it into a bowl.”
Nick: (Lowly) “You’re not helping.”
Danse: (Crosses his arms) “I don’t see the problem here, it looks fine to me.”
Jasmine: (Climbs onto Danse’s back like a monkey and peeks over his shoulder) “It’s staring at me!” (Points accusingly at it)
Danse: “It’s an inanimate object. I highly doubt it.”
Nick: (Dad tone) “Jasmine. I need ya to do me a favor and eat some salad.”
Jasmine: (Jumps onto the coffee table like a cat with her back arched) “NnnnnnNo! No, no no!”
Nick: (Heavy sigh) “Hancock, hold her arms. Danse, keep her mouth open.”
Danse: “Roger that.” (Picks Jas back up from the table and sets her down on the floor)
Jasmine: (Takes out her Murder Mittens) “No! YOU FOOD FASCISTS!!! YOU CAN’T-”
Hancock: (Holds the girls arms behind her back so nobody gets mauled)
Danse: (Keeps Jas from closing her mouth on his fingers)
Nick: (Starts feeding his feral daughter the salad) “Cmon kitten, work with us here…”
Jasmine: (Aggressively hisses and snarls) “AAARHGHFHFHFH!!!”
Hancock: (As he struggles to keep her under control) “Don’t let her bite you too hard, Danse. Baby sister gets a taste for blood, we’re gonna have problems.”
[Later]
Jasmine: (Teenage grumbling as she folds her arms and sits on the sofa) “I can’t believe you made me eat salad!”
Nick: (Slight smirk from his spot next to her) “It wasn’t that bad, now was it?”
Jasmine: “No it wasn’t! It was tasty! That’s the PROBLEM!”
Nick: (Pats her head) “I’m sorry kiddo, it had to be done for the sake of nutrition and keeping ya healthy.”
Jasmine: (Grumpy kitten noises but she allows herself to be petted)
(Considering Jazzy regularly bites peoples fingers off, I think it’s too late for the blood thing, Hancock)
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qstarhalo · 8 months ago
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Pinterest has been my best friend these past few weeks, my god.
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aflawedfashion · 1 year ago
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I would love to see Tina and Joyce talk about the fact that Doug wants to marry Tina. Joyce and Doug have actually become somewhat close and they occasionally talk about things, but Tina's not very close with anyone other than Doug this season, and she needs to talk to a third party about this.
Bambi and Richie pointed out how Tina's always saying no to doing things with them lately, but because Joyce already knows Doug wants to marry Tina, and Tina found the ring, it's the perfect set up for Joyce and Tina to talk about her feelings. Plus, Joyce's lack of filter could actually help get Tina out of her shell and get her talking.
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watsername · 2 years ago
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oky it’s fucking TIME to talk about mcc misogyny we are NOT dancing around it anymore .
the community fucking hates women . especially the subreddit but also the general community . i can’t talk about every women bc i haven’t watched the pov of every woman in mcc .
tina kitten. her entire mcc experience was being treated as a nerf tool by the community. she only played in a handful of events but her teams routinely credited as some of the lowest ranked teams in the history of mcc in pre-game prospects . they’ve had the LEAST chance at winning and the community commonly rests that blame on tina’s back . is tina a great mcc player? no, she hasn’t had much opportunity to learn from it or practise much. but the constant backlash she faces for being a “bad player” and a “nerf” is demotivating . and after treating her like shit people treat her like shit MORE to tell her she’s overreacting if she is upset or has a problem with anything .
but scar has similar stats . he’s a relatively new player who hasn’t had much chance to learn from the event yet and hasn’t placed top 20. but nobody ever complains about scar being teamed with anyone as a nerf . nobody complains scar is dragging the team down . same goes for people like quackity and karl who don’t regularly place well. nobody complains they’re nerfs or that they’re ruining the teams chances . and evryone is quick to comfort them if they feel bad for ‘letting their team down’
niki nihachu is a similar situation . she’s been playing in the event for well over a year now and is routinely shunned by members of the community for not playing good enough . you can argue ‘she ranks x out of 40 on average’ all you want but does that warrant the way people treat her in her chat and in the subreddit?? does that warrant the immense pressure she feels to improve and the fact that he feels she’s let so many ppl down if she doesn’t?? does it warrant people talking shit talking her and laughing at her for getting emotional due to stress over the event on stream? the fact that she’s so stressed over the event should tell you everything . people has treated her like shit since the beginning for being ‘too emotional’ .
jojosolos. girl. she came into the event as an extremely strong player. she’s placed top ten 6 out of 9 times she’s played (canon and non canon) . for canon events she has 5/6 top ten placements one win and a first individual placement . purpled has 6/7 top ten placements, one team win and one first individual placement . they have extremely similar track records . so why is it that the s tier committee is trying to hard to designate purpled as an s tier but are adamant that jojo doesn’t deserve the same treatment because she’s yet to prove herself as being an s tier player . they have roughly the same stats .
hannahxxrose . she’s faced criticism for her competitiveness over her entire streaming career . to the point where she recently pointed out that people have been calling into question her mental well-being because of her competitive attitude and loudness. some men in the community (specific ones that are hated before the game even starts) are given similar critiques but not once has their mental health been called into question. but the majority of competitive men in the community haven’t been called out on their ‘bad attitudes’, only the ones that specific mcyt communities don’t like to begin with . typically if a man gets loud or starts screaming during the event it’s funny to you . but for a woman she’s taking it too seriously and needs a wellness check .
both jack manifold and karacorvus have an average placement of 26 . kara has one win and jack has lost every dodgebolt he’s been part of . but kara faces harsher criticism bc she doesn’t have the same following as jack manifold so she doesn’t have ppl who will defend her as being a good addition to the team for something other than her ability . bc ppl will defend jacks bad placement because :o !!!! he’s playing with his friends!!!! despite having the same ability as the women that are routinely shit on .
my point is that you can say what you want about certain mcc players . you’re not gonna like everyone . but the double standards between male and female mcc competitors is very much real and a problem in the fanbase. more people are fans of the male streamers and i get that’s why you want them to succeed. but to overlook the flaws you degrade female plaster for in the creators you admire is to have an internal bias against them . if you’re going to have criticisms they’re gonna have ti be for EVERYONE who uses that kind of behaviour . and i think if we see that enforces you’ll realise that a lot of the critiques were bullshit to begin with .
and this can NOT be chalked up to the behaviour of the dsmp community alone . you’re all just as bad, this focuses primarily on dsmp examples bc i watxh primarily dsmp streamers. ALL of this happens on the mcc subreddit .
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murky-tannin · 10 months ago
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I used to wonder why qTina is so uptight about what Bad did in purgatory when a lot of it was under her directions, but her convo with Em makes me think i understand why.
She's projecting hard and using him and people's responses to him as proof to herself about how awful demons are. Trying to dissuade Em after she called him her fav uncle after asking Tina why she doesn't like demons when she, Bad, and Mouse are so great.
She's afraid of how much Em likes the demons of the island, especially considering Em said she wanted to become one. "look at how awful he was in purgatory, do you want that as your favorite uncle? That's how demons are." flip flopping back and forth between appreciating how kind he's been to her and denouncing him for his sins. It's because he's a demon. I don't know how it didn't click until now
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dazedandconfused-15 · 3 months ago
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Heaven's in your eyes (Part 4)
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From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and reblog this story, I'm really glad you're sticking with me on this journey!!
If you're enjoying it, a reblog would mean a lot to me and really helps get this fanfic out there! 🫶
Enjoy...
Summary: Life in Hawkins is dull and lonely, especially after your mom abandoned your family, leaving you even more isolated amidst school rumors. Already shy and with few friends, you find solace in your solitude—until Billy Hargrove, the intriguing new boy from California, comes into the picture. To your surprise, Billy seems to seek you out, finding ways to talk to you despite the odds. Never in a million years would you have imagined forming such an unexpected bond with someone.
Link to: Part 1 Part 2, and Part 3
@tatumrileyslover @littlenosoul @nocturnest @the-freak-cassie-313 @rainy-darling @nina-from-317
From then on, you become much more observant. Billy and you meet up after school to do homework, go for walks, grab some food or just hang out. You start noticing small details, like how sometimes his shirt is buttoned up a bit higher than usual, even in warm weather. Occasionally, you catch sight of a bruise on his skin. You refrain from bombarding him with questions, but it's challenging to stay silent when the wounds are obvious. Thankfully, it's never as severe as that night he showed up battered. You quickly understand that this topic is off-limits for him, so you let it go, hoping that someday, he'll feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
For the first time in what feels like ages, happiness seeps into your days. Suddenly, the world seems brighter, nights feel less daunting, and even the mundane surroundings regain a hint of color. But deep down, you know this fragile balance won't last. 
And just like that, everything shifts during a Wednesday afternoon gym class. You're deep into a basketball game. A teammate passes you the ball, and with quick reflexes, you snatch it and charge towards the basket. It all happens in a blur, catching you off guard, until a sharp pang shoots through your knees as they collide with the unforgiving, polished wood of the gym floor. Your heart races as you instinctively extend your arms, just in time to protect your face from the impact. Amid the chaos, the coach's whistle cuts through the noise, and through the fog of pain, a pair of trainers come into focus right before your eyes.
“What happened?” 
“She tripped, Coach,” says the voice belonging to the person in those shoes. Your gaze shifts upward, meeting the mocking eyes of Tina Williams. She stands with one hand on her hip, casually chewing her gum. A moment later, she steps aside as the coach kneels in front of you.
The contrast is stark—where there was once the commotion of squeaking shoes and shouts, there's now a hushed stillness. Half the class has gathered around, watching in silence.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?" the coach asks you, resting his hand on your arm. 
deliberately tripped you, sending you crashing to the floor. The pain in your knees isn't unbearable, but your skin is clearly scraped. The sting from where they hit the ground and slid across the floor is still sharp.
"Oh man, we need to disinfect these," the coach remarks, examining your peeling, reddened knees where raw flesh is visible. "I'm taking you to the nurse's office."
"No, no. It's fine." you say, your voice slightly shaky as he helps you to your feet. "It's not that bad."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, yeah," you murmur, catching the faint snickers of Vicky Muller and Carol Perkins as they whisper to Tina, their voices low but filled with amusement.
The coach makes you sit on the benches for the rest of the hour. As the game continues, you become a spectator in every sense—watching the game and the entire situation unfold, feeling completely disconnected from your own body. Your mind drifts, detaching from everything around you. You’re certain Tina tripped you on purpose, but the reason eludes you. Anxiety gnaws at you, leaving a pit in your stomach. When the game finally ends, you follow your classmates into the locker room, keeping your eyes downcast, avoiding any confrontations. All you want is to leave, to escape this uncomfortable situation.
But as you open your locker, you hear footsteps approaching behind you. Reluctantly, you turn, only to find yourself face-to-face with Tina. Vicky stands beside her, arms crossed, with an expression that clearly shows she's anticipating some entertainment, barely able to contain her laughter.
Tina nods toward your knees. “How are your knees?”
You want to snap back, to demand what her problem is, but instead, you choose the path of least resistance. Maybe if you play along, this will all blow over.
“It’s nothing serious. It’ll pass,” you say, forcing a small smile before turning back to your locker.
Tina snorts, and there’s a brief, tense silence. “What’s your deal with Billy?”
Your hand freezes in mid-motion as everything suddenly clicks into place. Slowly, you turn back to her, realizing there’s no avoiding this conversation.
You decide to play dumb. “What do you mean?”
“Did I stutter?”
You swallow, taking in her mocking expression. The locker room falls silent as your classmates stop what they’re doing to watch the scene unfold. In the background, Carol wears a wicked smile.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I barely know him,” you say, trying to diffuse the situation, not wanting any trouble.
You know that Billy had gone out with Tina a few times not too long ago. It was supposedly nothing serious and ended as quickly as it began. Rumor has it that after they’d hooked up in his Camaro, he drove her home and never called her again.
“Please. You think we’re dumb?” Vicky chimes in. “We’ve seen you hanging with him.”
“I…”
“Listen, honey,” Tina cuts you off, unfolding her arms and stepping toward you. Her tone is anything but sweet, almost aggressive. “I don’t care what the hell you’re up to. But stop it.”
“Wha…”
“You really think he’d be interested in someone like you? Take a good look at yourself,” she sneers, her gaze sweeping over you, making you instantly self-conscious. “Make sure you’re not carrying fleas before you get near guys like Billy. God knows what’s lurking in that cesspool you call home.”
“Or STDs,” Carol chimes in with a smirk. “Like mother, like daughter.”
The comment hits you like a punch to the gut, the pain in your knees forgotten as a deeper ache settles in. The room is filled with your classmates, yet you’ve never felt so alone. Some stand in silent shock, others hold back amused grins, enjoying the spectacle.
“So yeah, stay away from him. Got it?” Tina snaps her bubble gum, her eyes daring you to respond.
They don’t wait for an answer, turning away and leaving you frozen in place. As you open your locker and reach for your clothes, you realize with a sinking feeling that they’re soaked. Water drips onto the floor, soaking your sneakers, and panic rises in your chest. You quickly grab your backpack, hoping it’s unharmed, but find it just as wet, the contents inside ruined.
Murmurs and giggles fill the room as Tina’s voice drifts over again, soft but cutting. “Sorry about that. Maybe next time you’ll know your place.”
You leave school wearing your damp clothes, shivering as the rain falls down on you. The thought of enduring two more hours of English literature is unbearable. Despite your efforts to dry your clothes and backpack, the dampness clings to you, making the weight of it all feel heavier. The mile-long walk home feels endless as your mind replays the scene in the gym and locker room. You wonder how you could have been so naive, so foolish to think you could find a bit of happiness without something going wrong. The cold air stings your wet cheeks, and you wipe them with the back of your hand, your eyes fixed on the ground. Your knees burn, but nothing compares to the deep, burning shame inside you.
When you finally reach home, you’re grateful your father is still at work, sparing you from having to explain why you’re home early or why you look so miserable. You retreat to the shower, letting the hot water pour over you until the steam is so thick you can’t even see the tiles. Later, you curl up on the couch under a blanket, staring blankly at the TV, your mind far away. The phone rings, breaking the silence, but you don’t have the energy to answer it. Whoever is calling is persistent, though, and the ringing continues.
Taking a deep breath, you finally pick up the receiver, trying to keep your voice from sounding hollow.
“Hello?”
“It’s Billy.”
His warm voice is like a balm, soothing your frayed nerves, but it also brings back the harsh memories of the day. The ugly events replay in your mind, and guilt washes over you as you imagine him waiting by his Camaro, only to realize you wouldn’t be showing up.
“I’m sorry. Sorry about that,” you croak, clearing your throat. “I wasn’t feeling well.”
“What happened?”
“I’m just under the weather. That’s all. I think I’m getting sick.”
A heavy silence hangs between you as you twist the phone cord around your fingers, the tension in your grip turning your skin white. You can only hear your own breathing, and you hope desperately that he believes you, that he won’t push for more.
“You sure?” he asks after a moment.
“Yes, I promise. I just need to rest.”
“Alright,” he sighs. “See you tomorrow then.”
“Hey, Billy?” you blurt out, stopping yourself before your voice cracks. The knot in your throat tightens as you struggle with the urge to be honest with him. It doesn’t seem fair to lie, knowing this might be one of the last times you hear his voice. “Thanks for calling,” you manage to say once you’re sure your voice won’t break.
“Don’t mention it. Bye, sweetheart.”
You hang up before you can respond, the warmth of his endearment slicing through you, leaving you on the verge of tears. It’s not just him—it’s everything. The whole situation weighs on you. You glance at the picture of you and your mom on the hall shelf, taken when you were just two years old in her arms. Your dad still keeps it, a reminder of the past. Billy has managed to make your life easier, not by making you forget, but by showing you that happiness was still possible. But today, all those old wounds are reopened. The void left by her, and now by him, feels deeper than ever. That’s the risk of letting people into your life—they eventually leave, and all you’re left with is the emptiness they once filled.
You stay home for the next two days. On Friday, it still hasn’t stopped raining. The day drags on endless, each hour feeling like an eternity. You struggle to find the strength to peel yourself out of bed, your stomach tied in knots, rendering breakfast an impossible feat. As rain continues to patter against the window, casting a dreary backdrop, you find yourself lost in a numb trance, gazing blankly at the vivid greenery outside. Only in the afternoon does your hunger finally overpower the turmoil within, prompting you to rustle up a simple cheese toast to appease your growling stomach. Settling in front of the TV, you attempt to distract yourself from the weight of the day's events. By the late afternoon, as your dad arrives home, you force yourself to summon a facade of composure, determined not to burden him with worries. Then the doorbell rings, snapping you out of your trance, and you get up to see who's there. 
As you open the door, Billy is standing here, his hands on his leather jacket pockets, his gaze wandering off to the side, but turns to look immediately at you. He’s as pretty as the last time you saw him. His eyes lock with yours, making you weak in the knee. 
“Oh. Hey.” you softly say, completely taken off guard by his presence on your front door. 
“Hey.” 
“Uh, what are you doing here?” you ask, trying your best to not sound rude. You’re just confused. 
Billy shrugs. “You didn’t answer when I called. Figured I would come to you instead.” 
His response leaves you speechless. You’re struck by his persistence, amazed that he hasn’t grown tired of you, given his tendency to quickly lose interest in people. He says it so casually, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and it stirs something inside you that you can’t quite put into words.
Amusement flicks over his face. “You gonna let me in, or what?” 
You excuse yourself by straightening up from your position against the door, opening it wide to let him in. Billy wipes his shoes on the doormat before stepping in. A strange energy seems to be unleashed when your bodies are close to each other. It makes you feel electric. You’ve never believed in those things, but it’s almost like your auras are touching.
You look up at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you look at each other.
“Sorry, my dad’s here,” you say as you see him look up behind you toward the living room.
Although very subtle, you notice how his body tenses up when your father approaches him and you introduce Billy to him. “Nice to meet you, sir.”
Your dad shakes his hand, a warm smile on his face. “Ah, so you must be Billy. She keeps talking about you.”
Billy lets out a nervous chuckle, briefly glancing at you. You find yourself looking at the ground, cheeks flushed. "Hope she said good things."
“All I can say is that you’re good to her, son. Haven’t seen my daughter smiling this often in a long time. She never talks to me about her friends.” he rests his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it softly. 
“I’m glad to hear that.” you can feel Billy’s eyes on you, boring a hole through your skin. “She’s good to me too.”
Your dad gestures toward the kitchen. “Have you had dinner yet? We made some roasted chicken tonight, it’s delicious.”
Billy shakes his head. “Thank you, sir, I had dinner earlier.” 
“Come have a drink then.” your dad already walks backward to the kitchen. “What can I get you?”
“Dad…” you softly say at his enthusiasm. You never have people over. It’s been a long time since you had them. Not since…well. And you understand your dad lights up as a candle with joy. He’s getting too enthusiastic already.
“You look over eighteen. Beer? Some red wine?” 
Billy glances at you, his hand in his pockets, then slowly follows him to the kitchen. He looks like a wary animal taking in his surroundings.  “Beer is fine. Thank you, sir.”
You follow behind Billy, feeling suddenly so uneasy in your own house. Your eyes follow his broad back as he enters the kitchen, the air already smelling like leather. Like him. 
Your dad, with a casual wave of his hand, says, "Ah, don't bother with all those formalities around me.” 
Billy leans against the counter as your dad extends an uncapped bottle of beer, clinking it against his own. You notice how he stiffens slightly again when your dad mentions remembering his last name, knowing his father. His attitude becomes more reserved, and he answers with small sentences. Especially when your dad mentions how despite having talked to him only a few times at Melvald’s downtown and the bank, he looks like a tough guy. However, your dad is easygoing and his attitude warm, and slowly, throughout the conversation, Billy seems to ease up too. His shoulders relax, and a real laugh escapes him a time or two. You knew they shared some interests, but you didn’t expect them to talk about California for so long. Your dad recounts his younger years living in there, how he spent his days surfing and working in a garage for his own dad’s friend to get some money. Billy did the same back there. He tells your dad how you mentioned some of it to him, then how many more people there are since the 60s, how Will Rogers State Beach is now crowded with tourists. 
“You’re sure you don’t want anything to eat? Hell, there’s plenty of that chicken and it’s only the two of us.” you dad offers again. 
Billy settles the empty beer on the counter. “Oh, I’m fine. Thank you. I was hoping to take her on a ride, to get some fresh air if that’s alright with you.”
Your dad looks at you and you give him a small smile, though you didn’t expect or plan any of it. He nods in approval.
“Sure, kids. Be careful, yeah? It was nice to meet you Billy.”
“Same. Thank you for the beer.”
Your dad winks at him. “Anytime. You’re always welcome.”
At first, silence hangs between the two of you. Billy doesn’t mention it as he drives you toward downtown, and your mind is elsewhere. You’re there physically, but your thoughts are consumed by how wrong it feels to be in the car with him. Your plans to keep your distance have been shattered by his unexpected presence. His decision to come to you makes everything ten times harder. You’re unsure how you’ll find the right words to express yourself without offending him—or worse, hurting him. But then again, maybe you’re overthinking it. Perhaps he doesn’t feel as connected to you as you do to him. Chances are, you’ll be the one left hurting in the end.
Billy casually suggests getting a milkshake at the diner, then lapses back into silence, leaving you unsure whether to thank him or ask him to break the quiet. He doesn’t make it easy. When he parks in front of the diner, he opens the passenger door for you. Physical contact has become second nature between you two—small, almost unconscious gestures, especially on his part. But they always send your heart racing. This time, as he touches your back, gently guiding you inside while holding the diner door open, your heartbeat spikes dangerously.
You usually have a sweet tooth, and the milkshakes at Starlight Grill are delicious, but today, your thoughts have robbed you of your appetite. Billy insists you get something, and when you hesitate, he suggests sharing a milkshake.
When the waitress brings the milkshake along with the bill, Billy takes the first sip. You reach into your pocket for some coins.
“What are you doing?” 
“Just, paying.” You murmur absent-mindedly, counting the coins. Billy's hand appears in front of you, putting them aside.
“Put that away.”
You sigh, meeting his gaze. "Billy."
He casually slides the milkshake in front of you, his half-lidded eyes locked on yours, completely unfazed by your feeble attempts to resist. The purple lights of the diner cast a soft glow, highlighting his features and making his mustache stand out more than usual. You can't help but marvel at how effortlessly handsome he always looks. Meanwhile, you feel out of place in your loose jumper, with no makeup and your hair barely combed.
You notice that there is only one straw in the milkshake. “Oh, they didn’t bring another one.”
“It’s fine. Drink it,” his features shifting to an amused look.  “Unless it grosses you out.” 
“No, no! Of course not.” you hastily assure him before bringing the straw to your lips. The rich taste of chocolate floods your senses with a pleasant sensation, despite your lack of hunger. You resist the temptation to indulge in a bit of the whipped cream from the top of the milkshake.
“Feel better today?” he asks as he watches you, leaning back against the bench.
“Uh, yes. A bit better.” you lie, your eyes on the table. You’re unable to look at him.
You instinctively tighten your grip on the cold glass of the milkshake, startled by the sudden warmth of his palm on your forehead. 
“Yeah. No fever, anyway,” he says.
“How did you do on the test yesterday?” you ask instead, eager to change the topic.
Billy leans forward, resting his elbows on the table as he brings the milkshake closer to himself, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Eh, not bad. I think I passed," he replies before taking a sip from the straw. “Jesus, this shit is sweet as hell.” he mutters, peering down at the milkshake as if it personally wronged him.
You let out a soft laugh at his expression. When you sat down, he asked you what flavor you liked and ordered it without hesitation. You realize with a pang of guilt that you hadn't even bothered to ask him if he liked it. 
“Sorry… too much?”
“Nah, it’s fine. Just a bit sweet.” he pushes the milkshake toward you, your fingers brushing each other as you take the glass. “I’m more of a savory type of guy.”
"Oh," you sheepishly respond, brushing your thumb against the cold glass to clear away some moisture. “I’m more of a sweet type of girl.”
"You are," he says, his voice carrying a subtle warmth that catches your attention. 
You lift your gaze toward him, struck by the underlying tone in his words. Billy dips his pinky in the whipped cream and brings it to his mouth. Red lips suck around the skin, his tongue licking the whipped cream away. You take a sip of the milkshake to distract yourself from the stirring movement in your lower belly. 
“So what’s your favorite?” he then casually asks, as if he didn’t just do the most provocative thing ever. 
“My what?” you ask as if coming back to reality. 
“Your favorite dessert.”
“Oh uhm, I guess my mom’s tiramisu,” you stop to think about all the summers spent eating your mom’s tiramisu in the back of your house in the garden, the happy memory becoming bittersweet. “I didn’t like it when I was younger, I used to make all of those faces when I tasted the coffee.” Billy snorts a soft laugh as he looks at you. “She used to make it all the time when it was warm outside.” you say as you play with the straw.”
“You know how to make it?”
“Yes. She taught me.” 
“You’ll have to make me one, someday.” 
You meet his eyes, still intently on you, and you lower your gaze while stretching your lips into a small smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. How you wish there was a chance to do this. 
“What’s yours?” you ask instead, ignoring how your heart is aching.
Billy hums thoughtfully, dragging the milkshake toward him. “I’d say the tacos from the Mexican joint in Mission Beach. Hands down.”
“What do they put in them?” 
Billy sucks on the straw before setting the glass aside. “Okay, so picture this,” he leans his elbows on the table. “They have this way of cooking the beef, it’s tender and juicy ‘cause they dip it in the stew, and it’s seasoned just right." 
A smile slowly spreads on your face without you realizing it as he gets enthusiastic about it.
“Then they sprinkle some lime on it.” he mimics the sprinkling, his eyes squinting a tiny bit. "And then there's the crunch of the shell, just crispy enough to contrast with the beef. Then they top it with cheese and jalapeños. Man,” you giggle as he lightly slaps his palm on the table. He turns his head to the side, momentarily lost in thought as he contemplates. “It’s something else.” 
“It sounds delicious.” you nod, a laugh escaping your lips.
As Billy looks back at you, his face is closer to yours as you leaned on the table too. His blue eyes bore into yours. “It’s five-star type of food, babe. Unmatched.” 
His voice is warm like dripping honey and your stomach flips, his half-lidded gaze trapping you there is both charming and dangerous. You’re scared of the things your body is feeling.
“I wish I could try it.” 
“You will. Told you I would take you there.”
He scans your face, catching each of your reactions from up close as your breath hitches in your throat. “I thought you were joking.” 
“I never was.”
You wonder what would happen if you just listened to your instincts right now. If only he lifted the sleeves of your sweater, he’d see the goosebumps on your arms. If he could press his ear to your chest, he’d hear your heart racing. But following your instincts feels too risky. A little voice inside reminds you that all this chemistry between you two might just be in your head. You're building castles in the air; your deluded heart is playing tricks on you. Tina’s voice chimes in too: “What would a guy like him want with someone like you?” So, you pull away, and as you do, your heartbeat slows down a little.
You clear your voice, grabbing the milkshake. “Anyway, I better get home soon. It’s almost ten.” 
With only a little milkshake left, you finish it without meeting his gaze, deciding to switch the topic to how you caught up with homework while staying at home. He doesn’t comment on it, biting into it and telling you about the history test on that Wednesday.
“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” he asks you once on the drive home.
He lowers the volume of the radio, Eagles’ ‘Take it Easy’ reduced to background noise. You hesitate. You don’t know how to tell him. You’ve never been good at cutting ties with people. You’ve never been ready. You never will be.
“I’m just not in a good place right now.”
"Yeah, I gathered that much," Billy responds, his voice low and steady. "But what's got you feeling this way?"
You figure that the best way is to be straightforward, though. 
“I know this might sound weird," you begin, already feeling a pang of regret for how you're about to phrase it. Your nails press into the palm of your hands as you twist them together, your eyes locked on the shifting scenery outside. “You’ll probably don’t understand it. But I think we have to stop seeing each other. Hanging around together.”  
At first, your words hang heavy in the air, met only with silence that feels like a weight on your chest. You can't help but replay what you just said in your mind, wondering if you came off too harshly. It's a familiar feeling, the aftermath of saying something you can't take back, and in this moment, it feels far too aggressive.
As you battle with yourself, searching desperately for the right words to soften the blow, you find that every script you rehearsed in your head falls short. Billy's silence only adds to your internal turmoil, leaving you mentally slapping yourself for the brutal way you phrased it.
Billy licks his lips. “If I did something wrong,” he starts.
“No, it’s not that.”
“...Or if I made you feel uncomfortable, you gotta tell me.”
“No. Billy, please don’t think that. You haven’t done anything wrong.” you interject quickly, reaching out to touch his arm in reassurance.
He glances at you briefly before returning his gaze to the road, his expression unreadable. The tension in the car is palpable as he waits for you to explain further.
“I just…” you begin, running a hand through your hair in a nervous gesture. “I don’t think it’s good for you to be around me."
"Huh," he responds, his tone indicating he finds your reasoning perplexing. "What does that mean?"
You begin cautiously, choosing your words carefully, "I'm just not... I'm not exactly the embodiment of happiness, you know? And I don't want to bring you down with me."
"You think you're gonna bring me down?" 
You nod slowly, unable to meet his gaze. "I just don't want to drag you into my mess," you admit quietly. “I have a lot to deal with myself. Please believe me when I say that it’s not a good idea.”
"That's it? That's why you think we should stop hanging out?" Billy's voice carries a blend of disbelief and skepticism as if he's attempting to peel back the layers of your explanation.
His response catches you off guard. Shouldn't your reason suffice? After all, it's what led to the end of friendships with Nancy and Claire. They understood and let you go. And deep down, you understand that too.
“No, it’s not just that…” you feel increasingly frustrated with the situation, it feels harder than you anticipated.
"Hey, if I'm not your cup of tea, or if I'm making you feel awkward, just say the word. No hard feelings. We can't all be everyone's favorite flavor. But let's keep it real, yeah?"
"No, it's not that at all, Billy!" you blurt out, your voice rising slightly with surprise. "I like you. I really do," you continue, your voice softening as shyness creeps in at the urgency of your confession. As you speak, Billy pulls the car to a stop in front of your place. "More than anyone else in this whole town."
Billy doesn’t talk for what seems like an eternity. You don’t dare to look at him. After almost a minute, he finally breaks the silence. “Okay, what is it, then?”
“It’s just…wrong.”
“Wrong?” he says. “Look, it’s not like I have a girlfriend and I’m ditching her to hang out with you or something.”
“Well, Tina doesn’t seem to be on the same page,” you mumble to yourself out of instinct. 
Billy frowns. “What?”
That’s when you realize you talked out loud. You sigh, looking out of the window. You really hoped to avoid this conversation. It just feels wrong to use a lame excuse. You don’t wanna do that. It’s not working, anyway. You figure the best way to put it without having to unravel the whole thing. 
“I don’t know what you guys are to each other-…”
“I fucked her once. That’s it.” 
You wince at his words, carrying on. “...but she made pretty clear that I should stay away from you.”
At first you’re met with silence, but then Billy's reaction is a mix of disbelief and irritation. He scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. “She's nuts," he mutters, his tone laced with frustration. "Can't believe her. Jesus."
As you fidget with your hands in your lap, a sense of resignation washes over you. That doesn’t change things. You made up your mind already. They succeeded pretty well in making you see things for what they are. In a very sadistic way, that’s for sure. It is the reality nonetheless.
“Listen, don’t pay attention to her.”  
You let out a bitter chuckle. “It’s kinda hard, she’s really committed to making my life a living hell.”
Billy's expression shifts, his gaze now fixed on you with newfound seriousness. “What do you mean?” 
“Nothing, just…” you sigh. “It’s just what I said. Bottom line is, I’m not good for you, Billy. I’m messed up and I can’t give anything good. You should be spending time with people who are stable, who have something to offer.”
Billy turns his attention back to the trailer ahead. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he pieces together the puzzle. Before you can prepare yourself, he's already connecting the dots.
He scratches his chin, then looks back at you. “Does it have to do with you ditching school for the past days?” his tone calm but unwavering.
Your answer is instinctive and almost too immediate. "No, that's..." you start, but Billy cuts you off with a knowing look.
“Don't lie to me.”
You know if there’s one thing he doesn’t like, it’s when people lie to him. He told you that before. There is no way out of this. If anything surprises you about Billy, it’s his emotional intelligence. His ability to understand what you feel just like that. How he easily and often picks up what’s on your mind. You explain everything that happened to him, noticing how his face hardens progressively as you recount the events that have weighed heavily on you. From that moment Tina deliberately tripped you up in gym class, sending you sprawling to the ground in front of everyone, to the tense confrontation in the locker room. You feel drained after talking, the weight of your words hanging heavy in the air. 
“Fuck those bitches.” he growls, his voice thick with anger. 
“They’re right though. We really are different.”
“Different in what? I’m a guy, you’re a girl. But then?” 
“It’s not about that,” you mumble, your eyes fixed on the window.
“Well, tell you what, I like spending time with you. That’s all I know,” you turn in surprise at how bluntly he said those words. “Did we ever argue or anything?”
You think back on all the times you've spent together. Whenever you were with him, it felt like everything else faded away, and it was just the two of you against the world. There was never any arguing or discord between you; instead, he had a knack for making you forget about any troubles or worries you had. Being with him was like finding a safe haven, a place where you could just be yourself and feel at peace.
“No,” you admit, feeling a knot form in your throat.
“Do you feel any different when it’s just you and me?”
“No.”
“Are you ever bored when we hang out?”
“No, never.” you breathe out, shaking your head.
“Me neither. So it’s sorted.”
“Billy, I’m…I’m complicated. My life is complicated.” 
He shrugs, shifting in his seat. “I like complicated.” 
Billy's stubbornness despite the doors you're trying to close between you is overwhelming both in the best and worst way.
“I just don't think you really know what you're doing," you protest weakly, unable to shake the nagging doubts that linger in the back of your mind.
“Pretty sure I do.”
“Billy,” heat rises in your cheeks as shame gnaws at your insides, your heart weighing heavy. It's hard for you to acknowledge it, let alone put it into words. “Look at me,” you point at yourself, your throat burning.
Billy's eyes scan your face, a hint of amusement dancing in his features. “I am.”
You shake your head, your throat feels ready to burst from how much it hurts. “No. Look at you, then look at me. Look at this,” you gesture toward the darkened trailer.
“You serious?”
“I am. Trust me, you don’t want to…”
“Hey, hey. Sweetheart. Come on, now. Look at me.”
You realize Billy has leaned over the console as he gently grasps your chin. “I don’t care. All I know is that I like you, alright? I don’t give a shit about the rest.”
His words cut through you, threatening to shatter the fragile barrier holding your emotions at bay. His thumb delicately traces the curve of your chin as his piercing blue eyes search yours. Frozen in place, you dare not move or speak, afraid that the slightest exhale might betray the storm of emotions raging within you.
“You hear me?” he drops his head slightly, as he softly shakes your chin to get your attention, his eyes finding yours. “I don’t care.”
You content to nod, a tear breaking free and running down your cheek. Billy licks his lips, his face inching closer to yours. “C’mere.”
He leans in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that feels as ancient as time itself, as though you've shared this in a thousand other lives. It's tender, lingering, filled with an unspoken longing that resonates deep within you. As you lose yourself in the kiss, his breath dances with yours, and you taste tobacco, mint and something distinctly him on his tongue, sending a wave of euphoria through you. Your hand instinctively rises, fingers curling gently around the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, yearning for more. Your heart is beating so fast you swear it’s going to explode. As you break the kiss first in search of oxygen, you’re vaguely aware of his mouth seeking yours, his face tilting forward, his half-open eyes unfocused. His fingers travel on the back of your neck, curling around it and pressing your lips more firmly against his. It’s so good that it doesn’t feel real, your body is the only thing you're aware of. It's ablaze, your heart thundering in your chest, your breath resonating in the car. But he’s here too, he’s real. Real as one can be when you feel his hot skin against your fingers where you’re holding his shirt, as his mustache tickles your mouth, then your cheek, your neck.
He’s certainly real when his voice comes as a muffled and open-mouthed whisper against your skin, buried between your neck and your hair between kisses.
“God, baby.”
It’s a soft plead, a gentle need that swells your heart. Your fingers are tangled through his curls at the nape of his neck. They’re as soft as you imagined them. You could’ve never imagined one day your fingers would run through them. His mouth finds yours again, your senses filled with the scent of him and you can’t help yourself and rest your hand on his cheek, wanting to feel him more. Time is not something tangible anymore. You don’t know how long elapses. It may be minutes, it may be hours. You just can’t seem to get enough of each other to finally break apart. Nothing has ever made you feel so good in a long time. That’s why you don’t question your tongue tangling with his, his hand searching for skin as it ventures beneath your jacket and settles on your waist, warm and big. 
The loud thud of thunder outside makes you jump slightly on the seat, and with the realization that you must get inside, you slowly but finally break apart from him. 
“I have to go.” you manage to say as his lips kiss your cheek and the corner of your eye instead. 
His breath fans against your skin, a gentle caress that makes you shiver. Billy's eyes, still glazed with desire, slowly refocus as he registers your words. There's a flicker of disappointment, but he nods in understanding. 
“Yeah. Yeah, you better get inside,” he replies in a husky voice, his eyes roaming over your face. 
His lips are red and swollen with your kisses, you can’t help but steal another kiss which her eagerly accepts, planting a couple more against your mouth. They’re not as deep but full of meaning, resonating in the air. 
“Call me tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yes, I will,” you mumble, your cheek feeling red as you internally wish you could stay with the him forever.  
As you leave the car, the cold rain immediately envelopes you, sending shivers down your spine. The rain soaks through your clothes as you navigate through the darkness. As you reach the door, you steal one last look at Billy's car, watching as he drives away into the night, the memory of his touch still lingering on your lips.
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54625 · 5 months ago
Text
I miss kelp cocaine
I miss everyone congregating at Phil and Missa's, I miss Roier's over exaggerated moan every time he and Cellbit kissed, I miss everyone throwing their balaclavas on and going "passa tudo...", Tubbo's constant grilling of Fit and Pac (especially Fit), Mike's hairdressing, everyone singing the Pac e Mike wow wow song, Gegg, the admins striking people with lightning perfectly on cue, the Foolish cheating allegations, Slime and Mariana traumatising their viewers, Dorime playing randomly, people turning eachother rainbow coloured with the rainbow jelly, Dapper randomly pulling out all kinds of crazy creatures from his backpack, the extremely overwhelming pre-event meet ups, Las Casualonas, the casualonas dance, Sunny's materialism, Etoiles telling everyone how and why their armour and weapons aren't actually optimised, Phil breaking the fourth wall, Baghera and her fish joke, Rubius abusing his creative power, Foolish ruining the tension during serious moments, Cellbit obsessing over every lore lead or clue, Roier and his hilarious PNG builds, Felps "finally being added to the server", Fit always looking after Mariana's builds in his absence, everyone playing hide and seek, Cucurucho spying on and jumpscaring everyone, Quackity constantly being made fun of for his dead kid, Phil and Fit's aggressive "friendly" flirting, Cellbit talking over Richas' shoulder while he's painting, Leonarda's spoiledness, Ramón's obsession with the citric acid cycle, Slime's ability to show up for an event out of nowhere and just completely derail everything, new players always freaking out about Fit's voice, Quackity desperately trying to find a match since day 1 and always failing, Maximus' talk show, people teleporting in and out at just the right second, Jaiden's love for Hatsune Miku infecting the server, Bad and Foolish's encounters, Ramón threatening to blow himself up or digging himself into the ground when he doesn't get his way, Tallulah drowning herself when she doesn't get her way, the hilarious mistranslations, the wonderful screenshots, Vegetta's mines, Jaiden's expanding list of nationalities, Antoine being an enigma, the in-game karaoke place, Bobby starting fights, Juanaflippa dying over and over, Empanada trauma dumping about her first death to Bagi, Cellbit's vivo turbo ad, Bad yelling "language!", Pol and Foolish and Mouse not being able to stop laughing around each other, Pierre and Max's damn furry club, "no mames!", Spreen leaving for cigarettes, Bad stealing furniture, Missa being incomprehensibly cringefail (I will never forget that "bucket clutch"), Felps' hole, Tubbo's bigger hole, Mike going crazy that one time, Chayanne whipping out his cooking utensils, "Fofoca!", Pomme being the French Sniper, Pepito being homeless for a sec? Richarlyson's many personalities and characters, Tilin being "la tres leches", Trump even being called Trump to begin with, Cucuruchito flirting with everyone, dozens of plots to break into various federation buildings, hundreds of rule breaks, DanTDM being theorised to be Bagi's missing brother, Etoiles' love-hate relationship with the codes, Kameto going out for milk, Tina's heavily one sided rivalry with Fit, everyone changing their skins for events and some people being so extra with it, things falling into chaos every time an event needed them to travel a long distance together, the messy group photos, Charlie's grief spirals, people meeting up at Spreen's bar way back when, everyone making an effort to speak languages they don't speak, the sharing of international memes, the teaching of swear words, the joy that was born from the interconnectivity.
Just all of the things, dumb, hilarious, or adorable. The moments, bits and little jokes that made the QSMP so engaging, fun and entertaining to watch. That made you feel like you were participating in one massive celebration. I miss it.
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