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justauthoring · 4 months ago

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GENSHIN IMPACT - WHO DID THIS TO YOU?

includes: kaveh, diluc, alhaitham & childe all x fem!reader

a/n: i couldn't decide who to write for between these four so i did all of them :)

warnings: asshole boss in kaveh's, asshole stairs in dilucs, (not a) asshole cat in alhaithams and assholes (plural) in childes :) also not spell checked!

Kaveh:

You try to sneak in without being noticed, but it seems the fates are against you.

The door squeaks loudly the second you push it shut, a grimace falling on your face as you let out a soft curse. There's instantly a distinct sound of footsteps heading your way, so you give up trying to be quiet and let the door slam shut behind you.

Not without childishly sticking your tongue out at the inanimate object though.

"Darling?" Kaveh's voice carries through the house, soft and light with that twinge of warmth that's always there when kaveh is speaking to you. "Are you home?"

You brace yourself mentally for what's about to happen, back turned towards kaveh as he reaches the entrance.

You can feel his eyes on you and his growing presence as he steps towards you, still oblivious to anyhting wrong as his hand falls on your shoulder.

"Y/N? Is everything okay—"

With a gentle tug, he turns you to face him. not one to ever be able to deny kaveh of anything, you easily let him maneuver you, meeting his eyes apprehensively as you try to attempt to smile up at him.

His face instantly falls. "What's wrong?" He rushes, hands reaching for your cheeks where he cups them, gently, brushing the stray tears from your eyes as he takes in your puffy, red eyes and paled complexion.

You wrap your hands around his wrists; "nothing, Kaveh," you assure gently, finally finding your voice. It's still hoarse from the crying you'd been doing before, cracking at the end which mentally makes you wince. "Just a rough day."

"Did something happen?" He rushes to ask, shaking his head. "Did someone do something to you?"

You swore to yourself you wouldn't tell Kaveh – it wasn't that you didn't trust him, but when it came to anything concerning you, Kaveh tended to get overly protective. It was endearing, honestly, but you didn't want to dump all your problems on him. Especially something as silly as this.

At least, that was the plan. The second Kaveh asks if someone upset you, you're reminded of events that happened just minutes prior and kaveh's always been good at understanding you without you even having to say anything.

Your face twists, just faintly, and Kaveh's eyes harden.

"Who?" He asks, voice uncharacteristically low and sharp. "Who did this to you?"

"Kaveh—"

"Y/N," he cuts in, not leaving any room for you to argue. It stuns you, pulling your eyes on him with a blink as you take in the serious expression in his eyes. "What happened?"

So, you explain. you explain how awful work had been that day – how your boss had had it out for you all day, berating you and borderline harrassing you. How you'd tried to be strong and not let him see how much his actions and words were effecting you, but you'd ended up leaving work early because it all became too much.

By the end of it you're a sobbing mess once more, incoherent and deeply upset.

Kaveh holds you through it, brushing your tears and rubbing your back and not once interrupting you or making you feel silly for how upset you'd gotten.

You ask him not to do anything, especially because it seems it's taking everything from Kaveh not to – and he promises, says that he won't and instead gently shushing you with the promise that he'll get you a hot bath and some dinner and the two of you can spend the night together doing what you want.

And he means it. Kaveh won't do anything.

Tonight, at least.

Diluc:

"M-Master Diluc!"

The distressed voice of one of his maids gives Diluc pause, halting in front of the door to his home only to see Adelinde rushing towards him. There's a wild, panicked look on her face and instantly Diluc is turning towards her.

"What's happened?" He asks, "are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine," she breathes, out of breath from racing down the stairs the second she'd heard Diluc making his way in. "It's Mistress Y/N!"

That's all Diluc needs to hear. Adelinde lips part to explain more, but before she can even get a word out, Diluc is already at the top of the stairs and quickly making his way to your shared room. There's the distinct feeling of his heart racing madly with worry against his chest and Diluc's vision closes around him, focused on only you, until he finally reaches you.

You're sat in the bed, propped up by a couple of pillows but Diluc's attention is quickly shifted to your leg; more specifically, your ankle. It's wrapped up in bandages and propped up by a few more pillows.

The second you meet Diluc's eyes, you're sighing; "honestly, Diluc, I'm—"

Diluc is beside you in seconds.

"Who did this to you?"

The question is uttered with a sharp, dark tone and you blink, lips left parted as Diluc reaches for you. His heart is still poundly madly against his chest and it physically pains him to see you in any sort of discomfort or pain.

The only logical thing he can thing is that someone hurt you. One of his enemies, maybe... Diluc was careful about keeping his life private, especially when it concerned you, but he supposed villains had their ways and he absolutely crushes his heart to think you'd been attacked because of him—

He's pulled from his thoughts at the feeling of your hand in his, your fingers threading through his own as you squeeze reassuringly.

"Diluc, honey," you call softly, a smile on your lips that confused Diluc. "No one did anything to me."

Frowning, Diluc eyes your ankle and then meets your gaze. "Then...?"

"I tripped," you explain with a slight flush, obviously embarrassed by your own clumsiness. "I was helping Adelinde with something when I tripped over my own feet. We were walking down the steps so I sort of tumbled down... I think I sprained my ankle. I told Adelinde not to bother you with it because really, I'm fine."

Diluc hesitates; "no one hurt you?"

"No one," you smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I promise."

Relieved, Diluc feels his body ease at the assurance that you weren't attacked. Still, he sees your wrapped up ankle and frowns. "Still," he calls out a moment later. "You're hurt."

"A little," you shrug, glancing at your ankle. "The throbbing has stopped. I just can't walk."

"Then I'll carry you."

You let out a soft giggle that flutters Diluc's heart; "I don't need to go anywhere."

"When you do."

Alhaitham:

"Who did this to you?"

You're surprised by how angry Alhaitham sounds. A quick glance in his direction tells you he looks just as angry, and you have to pause for a moment, trying to think about just what the hell he was talking about.

Conclusion? You have no idea.

He's looking straight at you — practically burning a hole through you with his glare. But you have no idea what he's staring at.

"Haitham..." You mumble apprehensively, baffled. "Who did what to me?"

"That," he presses, stepping towards you and nodding.

Just... nodding.

"What?" You ask, exasperated as you try to glance at yourself and see just what Alhaitham is talking about.

Huffing, short of patience as always, Alhatham grabs you by the wrist, grip gentle but pressing as he shifts so your palm is upwards. Then, his thumb swips lightly across a long, red and somewhat angry scratch across your inner forearm.

"That," he repeats, frowning at you.

"Oh," you calls with a laugh, stunned for a brief moment before a smile curls onto yourself. "I found a stray cat yesterday on my way home. It looked hungry so I fed it and then, I thought that it deserved a home so I tried to take it with me..." You grimace faintly, rubbing the back of your neck bashfully. "The little guy didn't seem to like that idea as much."

You expect Alhaitham to... well, not laugh, because he rarily did that, but you expect him to at least ease somewhat. But he doesn't. The frown remains heavy on his face, eyes set into a nasty glare as he stares at the scratch.

"Where?"

"Hmm?" You call, raising a brow as you meet his eys.

"Where was this cat?"

There's something about the way he asks it that makes you hesitate. "...Why?"

Alhaitham just lets your hand go, huffing as he crosses his arms across his chest. "So I can teach it a lesson for hurting you."

He says it so seriously because it's Alhaitham, but it's still the most ridiculous statement you've ever heard so the laugh that bursts out of your lips is truthfully beyond your control.

"Haitham!" You giggle, "it's a cat!"

"And?" He raises a brow, looking at you like you're the crazy one. "The cat hurt you. That's not okay."

You bite your lip, holding back your laughs as you take in how serious Alhaitham is — he looks genuinely bothered and upset that you were hurt. And honestly, despite the fact that his anger was now directed towards a random stray cat, is care for you is endearing.

Stepping towards him, you press a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you for defending me," you say genuinely. "But it's just a cat. I shouldn't have tried to pick it up."

Alhaitham frowns and it looks like he wants to argue, but he lets it go. "Fine," he says, "but if you see the cat, let me know."

You let out a snort, nodding up at him; "I definitely will. I promise."

Childe:

"Who?"

"Ajax—"

"Who did this to you?"

Sighing, you try to turn your face away, finding Childe's never wavering gaze intimidating but his grip on your chin keeps you in place. His face is inches away from your own, eyes narrowed and face set with barely contained rage as he waits for you to answer.

You don't even know why you were arguing. Maybe it was because you were jsut tired and wanted to sink into your bed and forget any of this had even happened. But it was impossible with Childe.

The second you'd come home with a black eye, bruised cheek and over all just dishevelled, Childe had been on you. He'd been his usual happy self up until he saw the state you were in, taking in your ripped clothes and injuries.

"I don't know," you sigh, sinking into his touch as he reach for him. Your body hurts and you're exhausted; honestly, you're still scared. "It all happened so quick. There was a whole group of them and they came at me, pulled me into this alley or something and just..."

Your voice trails, hands shaking.

Childe lets go of your jaw then, arms shifting to wrap around you as he pulls you into an embrace. He holds you tight, pressing a hand to the back of your head as you let yourself break a little in his grasp.

"I was so scared, Ajax..." You breathe, pressing your face into his chest so your words are muffled.

"I know, Y/N," he calls softly, voice gentle and soothing. It had lost that dark edge it had had before, Childe finally coming to his senses and realizing how you needed him more than he needed to get revenge for you. That would still come, of course, but right now he needed to be here for you.

Pulling back, Child pulls your eyes on him; "where does it hurt?"

"...Everywhere," you whisper, wincing as a shoot of pain travels across your body. "I think my ribs might be broken."

Childe's heart breaks and he swears he see's red, but the pressing matter is you. He can find the idiots who hurt you later and he'll make sure they pay in full for what they did to you. Right now, he needs to help you.

"Here," he calls gently, "we'll get you in the bedroom."

You nod up at him, weakly, letting him wrap his arm around your waist and the other under your knees to bring you into his arms. The movement jostles you slightly, and Childe lets out an apology but you brush him off, knowing he didn't mean to.

"I'm sorry," you whisper a moment later, head bowed into the crook of his neck.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Childe shakes his head adamantly. "I'm gonna take care of you. And I'll make those bastards pay for ever laying their hands on you."

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perpetualcosmos · 8 months ago

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Mini Astrology observations

*please note that these are my personal observations, not yet coming from a professional opinion*

❃ Most Virgo placements tend to be into music/art/digital art and will definitely have something related to stomach issues or issues regarding their health. Hence we see most people with these usually have a focus on their health (subject to change with the aspects involved in the chart).

❃ saturn/Capricorn placements have been through many lessons during their lifetime, especially their childhood. Most of them have had to grow early and take charge of their life, these lessons sometimes being harsh that it affects their mental health as well. They also work hard and learn to stand on their own feet early on but they struggle through a lot. Delays could've happened in their career but when they reached a quotient, they truly do shine when they have learned from the trauma and lessons.

❃ People with Venus in 12th/8th house, do sometimes attract partners who might have toxic traits around them and could be very insecure of their success or happiness. You will always have a strong intuition about this, but you might also excuse your persons/partner's behavior when you are w.r.t. underdeveloped.

---> As 12H is the house of hidden enemies, along with idealized standards of these individual, they truly have to learn to assert boundaries and learn to balance out a connection/relationship. As well as you might also have a strong intuition, knowing it might not end well or have a "feeling" That the connection might not work but would stick because of this love with the idealised side of the person. For ---> 8H - you don't love easily, but when you fall, you fall hard. Your relationship would bring out alot of triggers for you in general, alot of the suppressed underdevelopment might start coming out through your relationships/connections. It's always taken to extremes, either very happy or very chaotic. Many lessons, could be that your person might also be insecure of your financial stability.

Let me know if you would like more posts like this!

A/N: thank you for checking this post 🫶

With grace & love ✨

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3rdgymbros · 18 days ago

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━ 𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐔𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦.

— pairing; silver x ramshackle! reader

— summary; silver uses his unique magic to soothe you after you have a nightmare.

— notes; please donate to my kofi if you like my work. and know that i am mentally smooching everyone who reblogs my stuff.

❋ What with all the house wardens over blotting one after another, and your growing anxiety to return home, it’s no wonder that you’ve been plagued with nightmares lately, ones that have you jolting awake in the middle of the night, heart racing, gripped with a lingering sense of dread.

❋ It’s the kind of exhaustion that even your friends notice, and Grim’s especially on edge because he misses the way you’d smile when you woke up and found him curled up next to you.

❋ Like many of your concerned friends, Silver’s seen the dark half-moons ringing your eyes, how your smiles are few and far in between these days. He wishes he could help somehow — and as he drifts off to sleep that night himself, his unique magic starts to work.

❋ When his eyes flicker open once more, he finds himself in your dream, surrounded by shadows and an eerie stillness. He's trapped inside one of your nightmares. Silver feels a pang of protectiveness and moves closer, his heart stirring as he sees you curled up, tense even in your sleep.

❋ He gently takes your hand, his presence calm and grounding in the storm of your nightmare. Quietly, he begins to hum a lullaby. It’s a melody he remembers Lilia singing to him when he was younger. His voice is soft, but steady, wrapping around you like a protective charm.

A warm cradle Starlight and joy My eyes are watching over you still, let’s be together With no fear, even if we wake from this dream Sleep, sleep, my beloved child In dreams, I pray you would be guided to walk toward the light

❋ His soothing lullaby fills your dreams, a serene contrast to the chaos of your nightmares. It brings you a sense of peace, and slowly, the nightmares fade away, replaced by a gentle warmth. You find yourself relaxing, the bitter tension in your body draining away.

❋ Though you don’t remember much of the dream when you wake up, there’s a strange peace in your heart and a vague feeling of warmth. It’s like someone was there to chase away the darkness, someone with a voice as soft as moonlight.

❋ Over the next few days, the lullaby sticks with you, and you catch yourself humming it absentmindedly as you move through the college hallways. But whenever you try to place it, it slips through your fingers like water, a memory from a far-off dream.

❋ “A warm cradle . . . something something. Mhmm mhmmm . . . Uh . . . I’m always watching you, together forever . . .”

❋ (Okay, so you might have butchered it just a bit.)

❋ Regardless, Malleus and Lilia overhear your singing and it makes them freeze.

❋ Lilia’s eyes are practically glowing. He knows that song; he used to sing to both Silver and Malleus when they were younger.

❋ Floating over (and scaring you witless in the process), Lilia gives you a knowing smile and asks playfully, “Now, where did you hear that song, dear? It’s an old favourite of mine.”

❋ You tilt your head thoughtfully, your brow furrowing as you try to recall. “I think . . . It was in a dream?” The words feel strangely fitting, almost poetic. “Once upon a dream . . .”

❋ Lilia chuckles softly, sharing a knowing grin with Malleus. He can already guess the truth – it wasn’t Malleus who sang that song, and it definitely wasn’t him. It could only be Silver.

❋ Lilia decides to keep his son’s secret for now. He’s sure that you’ll find out for yourself one day, but for now, he’s just enjoying seeing this young love play out.

#silver x reader #silver headcanons #silver imagines #silver fluff #silver x you #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland reader insert #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland imagines

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celestialtarot11 · 23 days ago

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Hello reader ☺️

Venus in Gemini please 🙏🏻

Venus in Gemini—

—Resourceful. Gathers information and sucks it in for their benefit. Always learning something new whether it be a language, a book, history, art, writing, etc. They enjoy dipping their toes in new topics!

—May have felt excluded in their community at a young age, or family. They could have felt they were less than, not good enough, and wanted to prove themselves. Their curiosity as a kid may have been shunned away and repressed, which is why so many gemini’s end up being explorative as they grow. They are reclaiming their power through learning.

—They’d rather have answers and try to explore the unknown. They understand the truth, your truth, and mine. They know it can easily get distorted, especially since people around them have been manipulative, especially the mother.

—Gemini’s could have faced physical abandonment as well growing up, even the scare of it. They could have struggled to feel safe in their own home and sought ways out (harsh aspects)

—Intelligent. They can know when you’re lying, they can read your body language with ease. They study the people around them so it’s only natural. They know when the cadence of your tone changes as well. Their intuition is strong, and Gemini’s can struggle to accept it.

—They may prefer being objective, if they have strong mercury placement or aspects. They lean towards being skeptical, and want to uncover the taboo topics of life and discuss it. If they have a debilitated mercury, they may struggle to express their inner thoughts. They may avoid viewing situations logically, and analyzing themselves.

—Gemini’s are authentic and prefer to live their truth. They are multifaceted and they know there isn’t anything wrong about that. One conversation with them can leave you feeling confused: because you have so many questions that formed out of curiosity. And two: enlightened.

—They love to communicate! They don’t do well with others who shut off and refuse to talk or share their feelings. Gemini’s need those who are open about their feelings and thoughts, and they struggle a lot when the other person doesn’t reciprocate.

—That being said, they need the truth. Honesty. No sugar coating. They know the pain of being told a lie, and a distorted truth, and they can lose respect for those who do this.

—Loyal. Gemini Venusians are loyal when they know what they want and who they want. They stick to standards, and express their boundaries openly and clearly. They can struggle at first but the more the other person expresses themselves clearly, the native feels comfortable.

—They are always wondering if the other person truly thinks deeply about life and the things around them, or do they go about life simply? They want to test the mental resolve of those around them by introducing heavier topics.

—Funny! Their jokes are unmatched. Witty, hilarious and entertaining. They love a good story telling moment and enjoy other peoples experiences.

—Is able to tell when someone thinks shallowly. Not having critical thought can make Gemini’s disinterested. I think in the astrology community there is a lot of negative rap for Gemini’s. I believe it comes from this, if no one is mentally stimulating, communicative or open, there’s nothing to talk to. There’s nothing to discuss.

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bamfkeeper · 2 months ago

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Texture.

RQ: 'I don't do requests a lot cause they make me nervous, so forgive me if its kinda all over the place. I was curious if you could do headcanons about kurt with like an autistic s/o who finds comfort in like listening to him speak in his language or like the feeling of his fur if that makes sense? Fuzzy textures help calm me a bit when im super anxious or overstimulated.' - @bunnysarts

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader // Warnings: None

A/N: Cute hcs with Kurt are my guilty pleasure, especially when dealing with things like this. I think he'd be so, so good at it. One of those who'd be extremely considerate and go out of his way to make you feel comfortable <3

Kurt is very conscious about your needs. He tries his best to learn and understand them.

Growing up, he didn't get a lot of knowledge about mental disorders or mental health much at all, so coming to the mansion she seeing that there are a lot of students effected with them, he did his best to learn about them to be more helpful.

More so with you.

He researched and learned, discovering what could help you the most during hard times.

He realized things like textures help a lot, so he bought you many things to toy with in your hands when you were feeling overstimulated or anxious.

Kurt would try to bamf you out of stressful situations too, but he knew that some of those things were unavoidable.

So instead, he pulled your hands up to him and under his uniform, letting your palms feel his velvety, fuzzy chest. "Ah, das ist gut, ja? Focus on me, liebe....focus on my body. On my voice. Alles ist in Ordnung..."

You just have to lean into him and feel his arms and tail wrap around you while he slowly calms you from a high strung panicked state. He does his very best.

"Atmen...just like that. Du machst das so gut." Kurt soothes and rubs your back, using his arms to shield your head and ears to muffle the sounds coming in.

Feeling his fuzzy chest and his heartbeat would help you a lot, his tail wrapped firmly around you, maybe even letting you mess with his spade.

If you like scents too, he'd do his best to smell like the specific scent you like the most. I mean, he does kinda always smell like brimstone, but...he'd try. For you.

"How do you feel now?" He asked, looking down as you pulled back from him. He gives you a gentle smile, his hands rubbing your arms and ensuring you were okay.

"You did wonderfully, liebe. So well. Ich bin stolz auf dich." He praises as you come down from your stress. It makes you smile, he helped you come down from a scary state of mind and you felt much better now.

"Yeah, I do, thank you Kurt...you're the best." You whisper, still a little shaken up but you're doing much better thanks to him.

He sticks by you for the day, making sure you're really doing okay like you said.

He's pretty protective over you, so staying at a distance isn't' something he wants to do.

You wouldn't want that either.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

#kurt wagner #nightcrawler #kurt wagner x reader #nightcrawler x reader #xmen #x men #x men 97 #🎠my works

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your-regular-toast-enjoyer · 2 years ago

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Yandere! Batfam x Reader

Batfam x reader or Batfam/reader

Yandere Batfam x reader or Yandere Batfam/reader

Word count: 8639 words

TW: GN reader, adult Damian Wayne, mentions drugs, yandere, neglect, angst and kidnapping.

You were Bruce’s youngest child, a year younger than Damian and several years younger than the rest. You were simply the result of a hookup on one of Bruce’s many business trips, it might’ve been to Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia or even just somewhere else in America. The point is, you didn’t grow up in Gotham until the age of thirteen when your mother died in a violent car crash, one in which you had also been involved.

You had sat for hours in the backseat, slowly seeing your mother’s life drain from her eyes as the fire brigade did their best to cut their way into the car. It had all been for nought though, with her dying before the paramedics even arrived. You were physically fine except for some deep cuts and bruises, but your mother’s abdomen had been pierced as a drunk driver of a flatbed lorry carrying steel poles had backed violently into your car, sending the metal sticks flying straight towards your vehicle. One of the poles had gone through the window and hit your mother. It was a gruesome sight, so vile that you threw up several times as you were hauled out of the wreck.

Legally, you were supposed to go to your father, even if your mother’s parents, possible siblings or someone else were willing to take you, the law demanded that it’d be your father who took you. Bruce had signed your birth certificate, he wasn’t unaware of your existence, and he had since your birth sent monthly child support to your mother, but that was all you really were to him up until that point; A negligible extra expense.

It wasn’t that Bruce disliked you when you came to the manor. You were simply a scared kid who had just lost their mother and was deeply grieving. He had dealt with plenty of those. He had just been busy… He obviously had his obligations as Bruce Wayne: CEO duties, public image and bundles of paperwork, but it was more so his obligations as Batman and to his other children, which pulled him away from you when you first came into his home. Damian, especially, took up most of his time. Not only did the two of them constantly train for protecting the city, thus developing a closer bond than you’d ever have with either of them, but Bruce was also very aware of how Damian’s childhood at the league weighed down on him mentally, so, he kept him close, let him vent his frustrations and slowly but surely get over his trauma.

From the very beginning, you became the forgotten child:

Dick was always so focused on Damian, singing his praises and always taking care of him. He usually forgot to even greet you whenever he visited the manor for a week or two, often going “Oh! I haven’t seen you all this time! Well, bye to you too Y/n”, whenever he left. Whenever the oldest brother was visiting, you’d stand in the doorway to the living room, observing with stinging eyes as he embraced Damian like the boy mattered more than the entire world. You had forgotten how it felt to actually matter that much to someone. You wondered if you ever had. Why you tortured yourself with watching the two, you didn’t know, perhaps because you longed to be in Damian’s position? You weren’t even sure yourself. The reason probably didn’t matter, as your forced your eyes to stay on the two, only leaving when you could feel silent tears run down your cheeks.

Jason was the friendliest, not particularly caring for Damian and Bruce either, often calling the green-eyed boy “Demonspawn”, which you’d laugh loudly at, only to be sent to your room by Bruce for upsetting Damian. Jason understood though, usually going to your room to hang out with you and listen to your stories, unlike everyone else. He came to adore you. Damian might’ve been Dick’s favourite sibling, but you were Jason’s. Since Damian was called “Babybird”, Jason called you “Tiny tweet”, even though you didn’t hold the title of Robin. You loved the times when Jason was there, he made you finally feel understood and heard. Unfortunately, Jason was at the manor even less than Dick, (who spent 90% of his time in Blüdhaven), since he couldn’t stand the sight of Bruce for longer than an hour every other month. So, the brief moments of reprieve the second oldest offered were few and far between, still leaving you isolated most of the time.

Tim barely spared you a glance, too busy with his own school, vigilantism and friends. He appreciated that you weren’t annoying like Damian, who’d constantly attack him, thus automatically bringing you above the little devil on Tim’s tier list of family members… however, Damian was at the very bottom, which didn’t make it a great achievement. If you ever tried to converse with Tim, he’d dismiss you with a wave of his long bony hand, telling you to find someone else to chit-chat with. You stopped your attempts at befriending the middle child after a handful of unsuccessful tries, barely seeing him after that. As a matter of fact, whenever you tried to visualise a picture of Tim, it was the image of his slim dismissive hand which appeared. You had forgotten if his hair was black or dark brown, if his eyes were light blue or grey or if his nose had a bump or not. He bordered on becoming a personal myth to you; You knew he existed in a far-off world, but he wasn’t within your orbit.

Damian was at first fearful that you’d take his place, bullying you, physically harassing you and bringing up your mother until you were left wailing on the floor. When you told Bruce though he’d always tell you to, “Be the bigger person, Damian has been through a lot”. You wished you could have fought against your youngest brother, but not only was he older and stronger than you, but he was also a trained assassin and vigilante. You stood no chance. When Damian realised that you were no threat to his position, he left you alone, avoiding talking to you and interacting with you on the basis that you simply didn’t matter to him. He had actually once accidentally told a teacher that he only had three siblings, not realising that he had forgotten about you until he was on his way home, replaying the conversation in his head. Damian might’ve once tried to become closer to you after Alfred had given him a long spiel about how “family is important”, but quickly realised that you trusted him less than the thieves in Crime Alley, and so he abandoned the idea.

Bruce didn’t mean to ignore you, it was purely accidental, but he had on multiple occasions forgotten your birthday and even once failed to remember buying you any Christmas presents, leaving you as the only Wayne child with no gifts that year, to which you had simply muttered something along the lines of, “Of course”, not in a vengeful or angry way, instead in a resigned and understanding tone, before going back to your room that night and not leaving until a day or two later. Alfred had scolded him for that occurrence, there wasn’t really anything he could’ve said in his defence and even Dick had looked at him with disgust as they all took in the image of you standing there, alone, surrounded by gifts that weren’t for you. It had been a striking visual, yet not enough to make Bruce change his ways. It wasn’t that he held any animosity towards you, you were simply just air to him, he had no idea where you were at any given time or who you were, sometimes he even forgot your face.

Alfred was a kind man, an understanding man. However, just like Bruce, he also had others to worry about, and the more isolated you became in your behaviour, the less able he was to spend time with you. Not only that, but he also refused to hear you talk badly of any of your brothers, and even Bruce was off the table if you felt like complaining. Alfred was a sweet and patient man, but to you it felt as if he had lost the plot, as if he didn’t understand how badly you were treated, because his love for the others blinded him, making him an unfortunate enabler of your torment. Alfred was only really good for giving you a biscuit/cookie when you sat in the kitchen, apathetically staring into a wall, for venting your frustrations, however? He was useless.

Your father neglected to handle your trauma. However, somehow, in his messed up brain, he reasoned that any trauma which was vigilante-related could somehow be considered worse as it was on a much larger scale than a single individual losing their mother. This made you grow resentful of both Damian and your father, the careful way Bruce would adapt everything to fit Damian’s wants and needs, disregarding yours, slowly lit a fire within you, a fire which burned with hatred towards them both.

I could see you wanting to join the vigilante life when you’re perhaps fifteen. You had watched the others train for years and would often sneak into the bat cave after dark to train yourself. You were good, really good, so you decided that you might as well start doing actual vigilante work. You did realise that you hadn’t quite reached a fighting level where that’d be a good idea, so you decided to find a more seasoned mentor. A slight detail, which would become important. Your father didn’t have the time to teach you. So who did you call up? That’s right! Jason.

Jason was reluctant to take you under his wing, at first. He even came to the manor to convince you that vigilantism wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. However, after pouring your bleeding heart out to the only brother who cared, he accepted, still apprehensive though.

Jason started his training from the top, getting into the basics swiftly. You got it down faster than he had at first thought, being an astoundingly quick-learner, something which the red-masked vigilante attributed to having Wayne blood in your veins. After locking down all the groundwork within a year or so, it was time to start your specialisation; Choice of weapons, fighting style and general tactics were all next. While training with Jason, you slowly moved into the spare room in his apartment. It wasn’t like you had a bunch of things to move, but what little you had, Jason helped transport from the manor to his primary safehouse.

When Jason considered you ready, you started working as his shadow sidekick. Never known by the vigilante community at large, but definitely a secret menace to Gotham’s criminals. Jason did a good job of keeping your vigilantism a secret After your first three years of training, you completely stopped visiting the manor, even on holidays. You were technically a legal adult now and felt no obligation to stick around a house whose inhabitants had made it clear that you were unwelcome.

No one except Alfred knew that you had completely left for the first long while, with him being the only one you had bid farewell to. The old butler refused to tell Bruce until the man noticed himself. That day would come approximately four months after you stopped coming to the manor, on Christmas eve:

Damian had been the one to notice your absence secondly, after Alfred. He commented on it during the Christmas family dinner, one which Bruce only held for his sons' sakes, and where the only two not attending were Jason and you. Even Dick was there, on a visit from Blüdhaven, spry and jolly around his favourite younger sibling. Damian.

“Where’s L/N?” The green-eyed man had questioned loudly. Silence followed. Bruce took a look around, you weren’t there. They all knew that Jason wouldn’t be attending, he had declined Bruce’s requests every year since his resurrection, instead opting to go to Roy’s place. A lump formed in Bruce’s throat, yet he didn’t know why. “Damian, can you go get them down? They probably didn’t hear that dinner was served”, Dick requested kindly with a smile on his lips. The man in question would’ve usually complained, but since it was his eldest brother who asked, he got up wordlessly. Conversation at the table resumed, with Alfred biting his lips in contemplation. ‘Should he have informed Bruce of your absence, even though he knew you were at Jason’s?’ ‘Perhaps’, he concluded, deciding to keep silent about the whole matter, it was unfair to you. You had moved on, and even if he missed you terribly, it was not his place to demand your return. A piercing “What!” Stopped all the chatter at the table. Damian came barrelling back into the dining room, grabbing the side of the door with a tight knuckle to stabilise himself. “Their room is completely empty! All their stuff is gone! The only things left are the bed and closet!”

Bruce had stood up immediately, his chair colliding with the ground behind him as he brushed by Damian, entering your room, his son had been right. Your room was empty. None of the posters you had brought with you from your life with your mother, no papers lying scattered around and no other signs of use. As Bruce looked closer at the remaining furniture, he found that a thick layer of dust coated every surface. The room was as empty as when you arrived as a child and something in Bruce’s stomach dropped. “Y/n!” He called out. No reply. Soon, the entire manor was looking for you, even Alfred pretended to do so as well, his guilt of knowing eating him up from the inside. None of them found you, you had vanished without a trace.

Somehow, your perceived disappearance became the thing to snap your family’s collective consciousness. All hyped up by each other’s worry and driven into a frenzy. Bruce believed that you had gotten kidnapped or ran away, and it scared him. The thought of his negligence having brought you to extremes was like a spear through his heart, switching something on in his brain. He ordered his available sons to scour the entire city of Gotham to find you, completely forgetting about Christmas and leaving only Alfred behind to stay at the manor, in case you returned on your own. Bruce also ensured that most rooms in the manor were lit, like a lighthouse showing you home. Meanwhile, you and Jason were celebrating the holidays at Roy’s place in Star City, oblivious to what was taking place in all the major cities. You were playing with Lian as the two men chatted about old times and the poor quality of the beer they were drinking; Roy had let you two stay for a few days, so Jason could properly enjoy the festivities without thinking of his alcohol percentage as he was the designated driver. None of you had any idea of the ruckus going on only a few cities away.

It was after this Christmas that the family changed irreversibly. Suddenly, your safety became their top priority. Spear-headed by Bruce, who had a borderline existential crisis as he believed there was an equal chance of you being dead in a ditch somewhere and you being tortured by some rogue. Bruce was overtaken by guilt and challenged this feeling into pure rage as he beat up henchmen and rogues within an inch of their lives, believing them to have somehow connected you to Batman. They hadn’t and were entirely unaware of why the bat was so obsessed with this one person. Were you perhaps vital in an ongoing detective case? Or did Bruce Wayne tip him off to be extra vigilant when finding his youngest? They had no clue.

Well, obviously, Christmas was ruined. When all of the batboys and their father returned home empty-handed, they were in no mood for celebrations. Tim simply sat in a chair, lamenting, as he stared into a wall with something akin to resignation, running calculations in his head of where you could have possibly gone, before heading for the cave to view the security footage as far back as he had stored. Bruce and Damian refused to simply stop looking for the night, not staying long at the manor before they started searching other cities, making some of their vigilante friends aware of the situation. After staying in the nearest bathroom, and regaining control of his emotions, Dick joined his youngest brother and father in their quest for searching other cities. Bruce went to Metropolis, Damian to Central City and Dick to Blüdhaven. They had planned that they would each scour a city tonight and one the night after, it would be impossible to find you during the day, as there were way too many people wandering the streets. Alfred still remained silent, he didn’t think it was fair of them to bring you back, not with the way they had treated you and not when you had clearly left of your own volition.

Bruce had informed his closest friend, Clark Kent, of your disappearance, with the alien immediately insisting on aiding in the search. “It’ll be quicker if we both look at the same time!” Clark had yelled determined through the phone, his southern drawl helping to calm Bruce’s nerves, if only slightly. That was how not only Batman but also Superman started patrolling the streets of Metropolis, in search of a single person, you. Jon too wanted to aid in the search and offered Damian to take over looking in Central city, so he could look somewhere else instead, thus covering more ground, Damian agreed and went to Coast city.

As the news spread to the citizens of these cities that the Supers and the Bats had teamed up to look for one of Bruce Wayne’s missing kids, it became the talk of everyone’s dinner tables. News channels ran multiple stories about it, despite it being Christmas, being hyped up in no small part thanks to Lois Lane, whose heart went out to the Waynes for losing someone so close to them. The story had slowly morphed from you having run away voluntarily, to you having been kidnapped as a ransom. Everyone who heard of your story believed it to be a tragedy committed by someone who couldn’t even hold up the sanctity of the holiday spirits.

Back at home, Tim reviewed all of the security footage and went as far back as four months, that was when he saw you exit the manor with multiple boxes in your arms, loading them into a red lorry. He kept looking at you walking back and forth for a while until a well-known presence stepped out of the vehicle. Jason. Tim stood still, you hadn’t just moved out of the manor, you had moved in with Jason. You had moved in with the second oldest brother, and neither of you had bothered to inform anyone! Tim seethed, he wasn’t mad at you, no, he could never be. But Jason, the mere thought of him now made Tim’s blood boil. He believed that his brother had borderline kidnapped you away from them. His ire intensified when he saw Jason enter the manor and come out with more of your stuff packed into boxes. That was enough evidence for Tim to conclude that Jason must’ve forced you to move out, that it really hadn’t been your choice at all… Skillfully ignoring how none of the people in the manor had ever given you a reason to stay, let alone noticed that you had been gone for over four months.

However, knowing that you were with Jason made him able to conclude that you were likely in one of his safehouses or spending your Christmas with his best friend Roy, those two were inseparable, after all. He decided that he would look through Jason’s safe houses, then he called up Damian, “Go to Roy Harper’s place and look for Y/n. They’re with Jason.” Tim’s voice was dark, foreboding and it even made Damian’s hairs stand straight. Truly the stuff of nightmares. Tim explained the situation to both Dick and Bruce afterwards, as he glided through the air from safe house to safe house. Letting the two know that he had sent Damian after you and that they could come home now. Even if Tim currently held the desire to puncture Jason’s lungs for taking you away from them… away from him, he knew his older brother would never let anything happen to you. You were weak in his mind, and in the rest of the family’s mind too. Perhaps they would’ve worried less if they knew of your vigilante training… or maybe not. Vigilantism is dangerous, after all.

When Roy had turned on the TV briefly, you had all been bombarded with news of your disappearance. Your apathetic face from your last high school photo was plastered on every news network, big and small. News of an all-out search party with multiple vigilantes involved was outlined in great detail. Both Jason and you looked at each other with a mix of concern and confusion. It had been four months since you had last been at the manor, Alfred knew of your departure, what were they doing?! Lian had thankfully been put to bed, none of you wanted her to view the panic that crossed all three of your faces. “What the heck are they up to?” Roy questioned no one in particular. “It’s probably a façade, someone might have noticed that ‘Bruce Wayne’ was down one child and now he needs to find me to assure them that I’m not dead. It wouldn’t be a good look to have multiple children die in your custody. No offence Jay”, you postulated, it was a far reach but still the best explanation you could come up with. Jason had agreed with your assessment, giving you a light smack to the back of your head for mentioning his death. He wasn’t mad, but he always joked that it was a sensitive subject.

The three of you tried to come up with solutions to the problem at hand when you were interrupted by an impatient knock on the door. “I’ll get it”, Roy muttered. Making his way out of the living room, where you had previously stood, and towards the entrance. The moment he turned the lock, the door was swung open by whoever was on the other side, the wooden frame just barely missing Roy’s face. Heavy footsteps made their way towards the living room. Roy barely had the time to realise who it was before they were gone, striding towards where you were.

“Damian?!” You exclaimed, confused. The green-eyed man stood in front of both Jason and you, wearing his full Robin costume. You wondered how he had gotten here so quickly, the news mentioned how he’d been to both Central City and Coast City, both were relatively far away from your current location. “I’ve come to take you home, Y/n. We have been worried for your safety and I see that Todd took full advantage of your little outburst.” Damian’s voice was spiteful, Tim had managed to fuel his ever-latent anger and direct it towards Jason. You tried to rebuke your youngest brother, but Jason stepped in front of you, ready to defend you against the green-eyed menace, “As if! They’re not going back with you, just to end up being ignored by everyone again! Just because Bruce needs his public image to be clean, doesn’t make it their problem! So run along, Demonspawn!” Damian did not take well to refusal, let alone Jason’s uncalled-for name-calling.

Damian marched past the taller man and straight towards you. As he tried to grab your forearm, he was thwarted as you defended yourself, blocking his arm and throwing him to the ground. Damian was shocked and Jason was grinning like a proud father. Roy came strolling in at the same time, having checked on Lian’s safety, no problems there. “What did you teach them?!” Damian screamed at Jason, blaming him for your newfound strength. “Everything, they’re a vigilante. I’m not gonna send them out on the streets without knowing how to defend themselves.” The second oldest brother swung an arm around your shoulders as you stood still, giving Damian a look that promised nothing good.

Well, this was unacceptable to Damian, who had silently called for reinforcement, filming your entire interaction so far on a gadget connected to his chest plate. When Bruce heard Jason’s words, he felt yet another stone sink to the bottom of his abdomen, he had let you become a vigilante, his little Y/n… No, this would not do. All of them agreed on this. Once they had you again, they all decided that anything vigilante-related would be kept out of your reach. While both Dick and Bruce were flattered that you’d share a career path with them, they could not accept the danger it brought you in.

It didn’t take long for Damian’s request to be honoured, as Bruce and the boys took a zeta tube to Star City and immediately went to Roy’s. It took no more than twenty minutes, with Damian engaging in a violent screaming match with Jason, accusing him of kidnapping you, of forcing you to play his mock Robin just to spite your shared father and of many more heinous crimes, which the green-eyed man covered your ears for, despite your attempts to get him to stop touching you. When a barrage of impatient knocks sounded on Roy’s door for the second time, he didn’t open it. Instead, he opted for locking Lian’s bedroom door and grabbing his bow as well as a handful of arrows, which he had reverse-engineered from Oliver’s original ones, aiming one at the entrance.

Of course, none of the dark-haired men on the other side waited for Roy to feel charitable enough to invite them into his home, as Dick harshly kicked the door in, wooden splinters spreading across the entrance hall’s floor. “What the hell are you doing in my home!” Roy screamed, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Lian. His bow was still pulled tight, an arrow aimed at the newcomers as a threat to not tread further into his flat. “Calm down, speedy. I will replace your door. I’m here to bring my youngest home”, Bruce muttered as he tried to enter the living room, only to be stopped by an arrow flying just past his nose. “Do not take another step. You are intruders”, Roy seethed, orange strands of hair swaying in the air as he made his way in front of the bat trio of Dick, Tim and Bruce.

Bruce was almost surprised by Roy's violent reaction. Almost. He was obviously quite aware of the redhead’s close bond with his second oldest, who had in turn evidently been closer to you than he had ever thought. You had moved in together, after all. Bruce did not blame Jason like Damian and Tim, instead, he simply saw it as an accentuation of his own failings as a father. Still, it was a very serious action to threaten the Batman, the very implications of which stunted both Bruce and Tim for just a moment. Dick wasn’t, however, immediately turning on his trusted secret weapon, skilful manipulation.

With slow steps, Dick managed to get right in front of the archer, putting a caring hand on his shoulder. “Roy. Surely, as a father, you of all people must understand why Bruce wants his child back. Y/n and he needs to mend their relationship. For Y/n. Imagine how they’ll feel years in the future when they have no father to turn to? They have the chance to get a real security net, something which I know you always wanted at their age. Surely, you must realise that just you and Jason can’t be enough… Not to go into too much detail, but the two of you haven’t been known to be the most… how would you put it… reliable? Stable? …clean?” Dick’s mention of Roy’s former substance problems broke his initial apprehension. Between Jason, you and him, it was a topic that was never mentioned, it brought back doubts and was probably his second biggest insecurity, his biggest one being… “Imagine if Y/n was Lian? You would want her to have a father, wouldn’t you? Of course, you do! That’s why you stayed. Y/n needs a father too, and not just that they need all of their brothers at their side, Jason can’t stand in for a father. Surely, you would know.” Dick continued. It was a dirty trick to mention Lian, but it worked as Roy lowered his bow, stepping aside for the Waynes to enter the room where Damian and Jason were currently in a screaming match.

Once Jason saw his other brothers and Bruce, he ripped you away from Damian and tried to push past them, holding your hand protectively and tight. It didn’t work, however, as Tim was quick to stun his older brother with a taser, right after Dick had tugged you securely into his latex-covered chest. You didn’t quite know what happened after that, Dick pried your lips and teeth apart, dropping a little round tablet on your tongue, before immediately shifting his hand to cover both your mouth and nose. Shifting the pill around in your mouth to not swallow it, while you tried to kick him away, did absolutely nothing. Dick was stronger and a greater fighter than you’d ever be, your attempts at resistance were little more to Dick than a cat scratching his arms. The blue-eyed man held you close with his free arm, gently cooing supportive reassurances as the pill melted in your cheeks, bitter and promising a nightmare when you woke up.

When your eyes opened again, you were laying in your old bed at Wayne manor. The window had been covered up with thick metal bars, spread no more apart than half of your head’s size. Much of your old stuff, which you had brought to Jason’s primary safe house, was back. They were nowhere near where you had put them when you lived here previously, a testament to how little whoever had reinstated your items actually knew about you. Sitting up, you found that your old cotton bedding had been changed for what you assumed to be silk, it was weirdly soft and you didn’t enjoy it in the slightest. Your duvet was a deep shade of green with golden accents, and you immediately knew who was responsible for the change. Damian. Perhaps he was even the one who had moved all your old stuff back. Their methodical placement, with very few items not lining the wall, certainly looked like how Damian had decorated his own room.

A large red box, filled with all your old clothes, as well as a bunch of new items stood in the middle of your room. You ignored it as you swung your legs over the side of the bed, trying to stand up only to find that your vision was double-crossed and your breaths shallow, you were dizzy beyond measure and your head pounded like mad, not to mention the coating of glistening sweat, which made you feel gross just being in your own body. What in the world had Dick given you?

Still, you attempted to move to the door, even if you realised you couldn’t stand up without fainting on the spot. Grasping your mattress tightly with both hands, you gently lowered yourself to the cold floor. Moving your legs under you, you managed to sit on your knees. Leaning forward, you took the fall with your palms, now standing on all fours. You hoped no one would ever see you in this state, it was humiliating not being able to move about as you normally did, but you had to get out or at least try. You had no idea what your father and brothers wanted with you, but you had a feeling it was nothing good.

Sliding your shins forward and following the motion with your hands, you slowly made your way towards the door. Raising a hand to the knob, you were surprised when the door swung open by itself. In the door stood Tim, warm towels in his arms. “Ah! I saw on the camera feed that you were awake! I thought you might enjoy some pampering.” A beat of silence rang out as you met Tim’s eyes, pale blue like a summer sky. You almost impressed yourself as you jumped forward, drilling the top of your head into his knees, making the lanky man fall to the ground with a grunt, as you tried to crawl away as quickly as possible. Tim was quick to get back on his feet, running after you, but you had already reached the closest stairs leading down. It only took one look down the long wooden construction to realise what you had to do, even if it would hurt more than anything. Tim realised what you were trying as he saw your shifty eyes cast a sideways glance down the steps.

“Y/n! Don’t you dare!” You didn’t let him finish as you closed your eyes and leaned to the side, starting to roll down the steps… or at least you would have, had it not been for the iron grip on your forearm. At first, you believed it to be Tim, but as you started to struggle, you realised that the hold was too tight and the hand too strong. Cracking open an eye, you could feel your heart sink into your stomach. Damian. Somehow, your youngest brother was the scariest one. The others were always ambivalent to your presence, but Damian had been openly hostile to you in your youth, oftentimes attacking you verbally or physically, and you didn’t doubt he could be violent towards you again. “What are you doing, Y/n?” His voice was no-nonsense, yet his eyes were soft. A strange dichotomy. “Getting away from you psychos”, you mumbled coldly, your throat was dry and the urge to cough arose as you spoke. The green-eyed man looked pensive, a tick in his jaw betrayed how he was trying to hold in his anger. He didn’t bother answering your insult, instead, he slung you onto his back and made his way back to your room, sneering at Tim when the two passed each other. Once back in your room, Damian held you down on the bed by your wrists, as he sat next to you. A general meeting was called, involving everyone in the family, except Jason, whom you had no clue where had gone.

Bruce had arrived almost immediately, with Dick prancing in not too long after. You weren’t sure what they wanted from you, assuming this was all to save Bruce’s public image, but even if that wasn’t the reason, you were sure that it was nothing good. They had all shown up on Christmas just to take you away from the only people you considered close friends and family. No one with good intentions would do something like that. As soon as the offending Waynes had all arrived, you spat out for them to announce the purpose of your kidnapping immediately. Both Bruce and Dick seemed disturbed by you titling their actions as a kidnapping. With the latter trying to defend it as being more of an obligatory change of scenery. It didn’t work, and you waited for someone to give you a proper answer with a deadpan. Damian had loosened his grip on you as the others arrived and all sat at the edge of the bed, surrounding you and making sure that you no longer had any possibility of escaping. It was claustrophobic and ominous.

Bruce was the one to explain that they had all led you back home to build the relationships, which you had all been deprived of in your younger years, expressing his regret and familial love for you, something which was echoed by the other men in the room. You were unconvinced. Telling them to drop the act and just tell you the real reason already, exclaiming how you didn’t have time to play charades with them. No matter how much they tried to convince you of their sincerity, you would have none of it, throwing their past actions in their face as proof of their dishonourable underlying motives. The meeting adjourned with no real progress made, other than the four of them deciding that you would be a danger to yourself if left alone and, therefore, making a schedule of when each of them would be by your side.

Bruce was shocked at your inability to believe in their love for you, his guilt multiplying by a hundred as he realised how untrusting you had become of your own family. He realised that he was to blame, attempting to grasp your hand, so small compared to his. Yet, when his fingers came close to yours, you jerked away, sending him a stare filled with nothing but disgust and hatred. He swore to change this, to do anything in his power to turn you to the truth of your family’s love for you, his love for you, his youngest child. The one he had almost let slip away.

Dick was heartbroken, he had truly believed that when they revealed their regret, you’d accept them back into your life with open arms. At your apprehension, the acrobat felt as if he was brought right back to when his parents died. Once again feeling his family slip through his fingers. However, this time, he was no longer the innocent bystander, who had done nothing to deserve the situation. No, this time he felt just like the man who had cut the robes of his parents’ trapeze. He had been the one who sabotaged his relationship with you. Still, he refused to let that be how the two of you would part ways. No. He deserved a second chance, he was your brother, after all. Family doesn’t just split with each other because of misunderstandings. He promised you and himself that he would not let it end like this. The two of you would become just as close as he and Damian, no matter how long it’d take. Dick could wait... No, he couldn't.

Tim blamed Jason for your sudden unwillingness to trust their intentions. Not even giving their prior neglect any thought. It was funny how he had practically worshipped Jason when he was younger, but now? Now, he blamed Jason for having corrupted your mind. Tim had completely turned around the memories of you attempting to communicate with him when you were younger. Instead of him telling you to scram every time you walked into his room to talk, he had deluded his own mind into thinking that he used to welcome you with open arms. Certain memories of Conner and him playing video games for hours on end were changed into the two of you doing the very same. He did not blame you for your hesitance, he preferred to solely, yet delusionally, place the entire blame on Jason. The ex-Robin, who had once been Tim’s biggest idol, had now turned into his greatest enemy. The way he so readily placed the blame on someone else spoke volumes about his lack of awareness when it came to your lucidity. He was sure that he could turn your mind ‘right’, by that he, of course, meant, ‘make you believe his version of events’. Tim’s delusional memories might’ve started off as just a plan to manipulate you, but they almost immediately turned into his own perceived truth. Anything to place the blame on Jason and not himself.

While Damian also disliked Jason like Tim, he was nowhere near delusional. He was highly lucid and entirely aware that, yes, they had all treated you like you were nothing more than a nuisance. Yes, you were probably well within your right to deny them any affection or chances. Yes, their new-found obsession with your love had become unhealthy and guilt-ridden, and it was certainly to your detriment. However, Damian had always been selfish and spoiled, two traits of his that he was aware of, yet couldn’t find it within himself to change. He was brought up as a prince his entire life, first as the heir to Eth Alth'eban and then as the unofficial prince of Gotham. There had never been anything he wanted that he didn’t get, and he knew that you would be no different. He was loyal to any cause he set his mind to and now, you would be it. No matter how much you’d fight, he was willing to keep his course. It was better for the both of you, he would get to enjoy your presence, and hopefully your care, while you’d be protected from any and all harm. Damian would give you the world if you asked, literally, so he saw no reason why he couldn’t demand your affection.

After your initial shock at the kidnapping subsided, you came to realise that your family’s newfound care had nothing to do with their public image, but rather some psychotic break in their mentality. Their affections turned clingy and you slowly started to feel a sense of hopelessness. They never let you be alone and they were so demanding of your affections.

Dick was especially bad in that regard, forcing you to cuddle and be physically affectionate, even if you showed an aversion to physical touch. He didn’t understand why you wouldn’t want to be close with your eldest brother, which meant he lent you little to no understanding in regards to any lack in the enjoyment of his company. Bruce never stopped Dick, always excusing his overly affectionate demeanour and encouraging you to do the same. Dick would in general be very open and clingy in his affection, barely letting you leave the couch or bed so that he could just encase himself around you like plastic wrap, rubbing your cheeks together and otherwise holding onto you tightly. It would really just be a way for him to make sure yiu were still there, that you weren’t missing like the night they brought you back. It really changed him deeply. Dick would also likely move back into the manor, much to everyone’s, except you, delight. That way he could be near you more often and better follow the observation schedule that they set up.

Bruce himself was much more willing to let you have your space, but there were certain things which he demanded, like you calling him dad, or at least father, or you eating your meals next to him. The eating arrangements always put you between Bruce and Damian, across from Dick. If that wasn’t bad enough, Bruce also enjoyed watching you eat, feeling a sense of fulfilment as he ensured that you stayed safe and sound. Of course, Bruce had cut you out of vigilante life completely, and if it had been solely up to him, he would’ve wrapped you in bubble wrap and kept you by his and your brothers’ sides forever. However, he realised that bubble wrap might be uncomfortable and probably wasn’t a very breathable material for your skin, so he did the next best thing. He made sure that you were constantly provided for, as well as spoiled beyond measure, giving you any gift that he thought you could possibly enjoy. It was, in a way, his way of giving you back what he felt he owed you for all the birthdays, Christmases and other holidays that he had missed out on. Not only that, but he also enjoyed the idea of him providing for you as a good father should.

Tim spent hours trying to ‘re-program’ your mind. He would describe in great detail how the two of you used to spend time together. He became frustrated when you explained how none of it ever happened and started to double down, blaming Jason for messing up your mind. Sometimes, Tim would even drag you to his room, which had become even messier as he slowly started to spend less time there and more time with you, and force you to re-enact ‘your old memories’ by playing the games he remembered the two of you playing. He would force you to sit on his bed, between his legs, as he caged you in with the rest of his lanky body and rested his head on your shoulder. It made you claustrophobic and uncomfortable, but Tim would get pouty and extend the gaming sessions if you tried to get away. The worst part of being with Tim, however, wasn’t listening to his delusional rants about your old relationship, no, that was an unavoidable nuisance at best. The worst thing was how he would dirty Jason’s name with the vilest of allegations, none of them rooted in reality. Everything from Jason kidnapping you, to Jason wanting to put your life in danger to punish Bruce and, worst of all, that Jason was somehow in a conspiracy with the League of assassins to kill you so that Damian would be Bruce’s only true heir. Whether or not you believed anything Tim said in the beginning, it was hard to entirely brush off all his claims as they were repeated to you verbatim almost every day. Sometimes Tim would even present ‘evidence’ for his claims, like videos of Jason acting suspiciously, or messages intercepted between Talia and Jason, written in their handwriting, mentioning you in a less than ideal light. Most of this ‘evidence’ was either taken out of context or simply fabricated. With many of the letters that Tim claimed were from Talia having been written by Damian, who knew his mother’s handwriting down to the smallest flicker of her wrist.

Damian was perhaps the most refreshing of them. He wasn’t nearly as overbearing as Bruce, nor was he as clingy as Dick and Tim. Damian was simply quite demanding. “L/n, sit next to me”, “L/n, come read with me in the library”, “L/n, come walk with me through the gardens”, and so on. His commands were easy to follow, and not to be questioned, Now, that was something you could do. Damian was less of an affection seeker, he was more patient than the rest, perfectly willing to wait until you were ready to get emotionally close to him. He would wait, with welcoming arms and a composed smile. If you ever showed Damian any affection, like a hug or putting your head on his shoulder while the two of you were reading, he would experience a brief moment of shock, before laying an arm or two around you, careful not to overwhelm you, but absolutely celebrating like new years in his mind. On the other hand, if you were to try and escape, Damian would have no qualms about breaking both of your legs with a sledgehammer, Annie Wilkes-style. Damian is deeply loyal, both to you and to Bruce, but even more so to himself and his personal beliefs. Once Damian sets a goal, he will not lose sight of it, this is also why he can remain so patient with you, but it also means that even if you somehow calm down the rest of your family’s yandere tendencies to manageable levels, this will never be the case with Damian. He will forever remain by your side, ready to protect and serve you. He does almost become reverent in his familial love for you, not in a deity-like way, but he does view you as one of the only people set above him, this reflects in the painted portraits, which he will no doubt create for you. Your room and his will both end up covered in your portraits, from different angles, with different hairstyles and so on, it is almost unsettling to see your own eyes staring back at you everywhere you go, almost like a 1984 Big Brother, only it is yourself. Damian will also take you to interact with his pets, he might keep both Titus and Batcow at a distance at first, afraid that they’ll hurt you, however, he almost transfers ownership of Jerry and Alfred the cat to you, thinking you could probably need some non-human companions to help you settle back in. He would also help you re-decorate your room if you’d like, only to sneak in deep green imagery here and there to remind you of him.

They are all exceptionally loving of you, you are their little prince/princess/royal, and they make sure to treat you like one. Alfred is almost embarrassed at the over-the-top behaviour, but he accepts it, as he feels obliged to always go with what Bruce wants. Bruce was once his little boy, (not biologically but in spirit), and he understands why the man acts as he does, even if he disagrees with the intensity of their treatment of you. He does, however, offer brief moments of reprieve, when he takes observation duty and simply lets you sit in the kitchen, munching on a cookie or two, doing whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t bring you in danger. It feels nice to just be yourself, even if only for a fleeting instant.

Jason had tried to get you back many times but was constantly being fought back by the rest of the family, physically and mentally. He had tried asking Roy for help, but the redhead was afraid of what they’d do to Lian, so he refused. The other Justice League members were of no help either, while they enjoyed Jason’s presence, they were first and foremost Bruce’s friends, and as such took his side in the matter. There was nothing Jason could do, he was powerless to help you as you were practically held captive within your old childhood home.

In short, the family made you the jewel of their eyes, your previous neglect was swept under the rug and you’re expected to forget it or at least forgive them. If I were to rank them from worst to best, it’d probably be Tim, Dick, Bruce, Damian and Alfred, (let’s be honest, he’d definitely turn at least slightly yandere after a while, even if you won’t notice. Heck, the fact that he lets Bruce hold you captive definitely screams “Not entirely against you being here against your will”). I think Tim would be the worst, as he often puts the need to convince you that you have always been close and his hatred of Jason before your actual wants and needs, and he will do things which you will find traumatic and uncomfortable, just to get you to agree with him. Dick is right behind him, as he puts his own need for extreme physical validation before your comfort and will expect you to forgive him relatively fast, as well as not being particularly sympathetic to your situation. Bruce and Damian are both tolerable, with Bruce being slightly worse due to his extreme overbearingness and lesser patience. Alfred is… well he’s Alfred, he treats you like a normal person would, while just being insanely enabling in his lack of action against Bruce. You’ll never escape any of them, so you better get comfortable.

#yandere batfam #batfam x reader #batfam #yandere batfam x reader #yandere x reader #yandere batboys #batboys x reader #dick grayson x reader #damian wayne x reader #tim drake x reader #bruce wayne x reader #jason todd x reader

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fleurriee · 2 years ago

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— unwind ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!reader

synopsis ; when the pressure becomes too much, all neteyam needs is some comfort from his mate.

word count ; 2.3k

themes ; fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship (mates)

warnings ; none bc neteyam is bby

author’s note ; this is just a cute little idea i thought of & couldn’t help myself from writing. makes a change from all the long ass things ive been writing that hurt my brain sometimes.

main masterlist request a fic!

After finally mating before the eyes of Ewya, yourself and Neteyam came together as one. It wasn’t too long ago now since the ritual occurred, and you found yourself continuing to bask in the blissful phase of your relationship - something you hoped never disappeared between the two of you.

Neteyam couldn’t have been a better mate towards you; when the two of you moved in together, you were sure your eyes were only filled with the love you held for him. The way he carried all of your stuff, insisting that he would do it all for you, setting everything up within your tent, making it your home, had you feeling pure domesticity.

His family, too, had been nothing but welcoming. Obviously, they had been doing so before you mated with Neteyam, but after the event, everything heightened ten-fold. Perhaps his parents understood the sudden feelings you were going through now - those of nerves, of excitement, of pressure. Now that you and Neteyam were mated, it wouldn’t be long before other Na’vi would start questioning the next chapter in your lives’ - children.

You loved Neteyam and you loved your relationship with him, but you still felt as though you could wait a little longer before deciding to grow your family. After all, the two of you were still young, and you had time before getting into anything serious. Thankfully, after speaking of your worries to your mate, he had agreed wholeheartedly, ensuring you that he didn’t mind if you wanted to wait. You had been a little worried about talking about it to him, in the beginning, not wanting to break his heart - two newly mated Na’vi were normally not too far off from their firstborn - and if he had an idea such as that in his mind, you’d feel more guilty than anything by letting him down.

But, like you said, you couldn’t have asked for a better mate.

However, there have been several occasions where Neteyam was slightly... unfavourable. Spending days on end training alongside both his father and younger brother eventually took a toll of him, constantly sticking up for the latter’s reckless actions, and taking on all of the pressure and responsibilities the former asked of him. Such days only left him feeling groggy and grumbling, mumbled words thrown over to you before slumping over to the mat, too mentally drained to do anything else.

You don’t mind these days, though - everyone had them, especially when you were the heir to the Olo’eyktan title. As his mate, your role was to always be there for him, through thick and thin, no matter the circumstance. Whether Neteyam needed some time alone, some peace and quiet, or whether he just simply needed you, held within your arms until the sun came up and he felt better about the next day ahead. He couldn’t let all his emotions go when he was out within the clan, keeping himself composed and acting as though unbothered of the chaos swirling all around him - but, he could when he was with you, letting everything go until he felt brand new again. You’d do anything for your mate.

That’s why as you’re cutting up the meats sent over from the latest hunting trip, situated comfortably on the floor as you concentrated on getting Neteyam’s portion the way he liked it, and Neteyam stormed in, you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever he needs.

The greeting you had once you spotted him in your peripheral vision dies in your throat when you notice his scrunched up features: furrowed eyes, pursed lips, fangs pointing sharply against his mouth. You can only begin to imagine what got under his skin this time.

Your ears perk up subconsciously, desperately trying to make out what he’s saying, but his moans are hushed under his breath. His head is angled towards the ground, fists clenched tightly as his body subconsciously moves him closer towards your awaiting figure. Once situated behind you, you feel him immediately slump down, getting closer until your back is pressed directly against his middle, sitting together as though you were one being. His arms wrap around your waist tightly, holding on like he never wanted to let you go, before shoving his head in the crook of your neck, nose taking a deep inhale of your scent, no doubt to calm him down.

Pausing to properly discern the situation that has quite literally been thrown on your lap, mind thinking over the best way to approach him when his actions clearly call for affection, you gently place the knife you were previously using down on the board, food long forgotten within your mind.

You bring your hand up to caress the top of his head, fingers slightly carding through some of his braids, turning your head and pressing a lingering kiss against him. You want to make sure he understands how much you appreciate him, even when you’re yet to find out what’s caused his agitation. Neteyam sometimes finds himself overthinking a lot of things, ranging from whether he’d be a good Olo’eyktan when the time comes to take over; whether he was a good son or a good brother; whether he was a good mate. You hated it when he got this way, desperate to reassure every raging thought troubling his mind and force it away.

Neteyam was perfect, and you just wished he saw himself that way.

A purr sounds against the skin of your neck, rumbling from the chest sat comfortably behind you as he only snuggles in closer, desperate for more contact. The action has you chuckling softly, your mind telling you that it was a good sign if he was purring, that he didn’t want to just succumb to sleep and pretend like the world wasn’t waiting for him.

“What is wrong, my munxta (mate)?” you asked him affectionately, words light so as not to disturb the peace surrounding the two of you. You make sure to continue caressing the top of his head, movements slow to calm his racing heart and bring him back down to earth, slowly lulling him away.

He doesn’t bother lifting his head away from your neck when he speaks, only taking in another waft of your scent for comfort. “I just-” he starts, before sighing deeply, as though trying to summon the correct words that can truly convey his feelings. You feel his body shift impossibly closer to your own, arms wrapped around you only holding on tighter. “It feels like too much sometimes... like I can’t do anything properly...”

His words are so quiet, so vulnerable, they have your heart aching in sympathy. Neteyam should never put himself down, because he has no reason to - but, he doesn’t see himself that way, too caught up in all the negative results of his actions and decisions. This is just how it is when you’re the eldest child within a big family, you guess. “That’s not true, and you know it isn’t,” you insist, slightly shifting your body in his direction, wanting him to recognise the pure sincerity within each of your words, never once detaching your hand from his head as it rubs soothing circles. “I know it can feel like too much sometimes, but you are doing an amazing job - anyone can see that.” As you continue speaking to him, insisting, you start to feel the tenseness of your mate begin to subside. “The clan are so entirely lucky to have you with them, let alone as their next Olo’eyktan.” This time, you decide to make it a little more personal, knowing that’ll only reassure him more. “And, you are always providing for us, for our home, for our future... I really couldn’t ask for a better mate, ma’teyam.”

With one last inhale, rubbing his face against your skin to bask in everything completely you, he gradually lifts his head up, eyes trained directly at your figure. The edges of his lips are starting to curve up, too, a sense of relief floating through you. “Really?” he asks quietly, seeking out every ounce of comfort and encouragement you’re offering.

Tilting your head affectionately, smiling down at him lovingly, you lean forwards, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips that still held a small pout to them. When you pull away, you watch in amusement as he subconsciously leans further for more, eyes closed in a haze. You lean your forehead against his own, basking in the warmth he’s emitting to you, waiting for him to look at you, dazed, before speaking. “Really.”

For a moment, neither of you do anything - neither of you move, neither of you speak. Instead, you fall into one another’s embraces, staring so intently into one another’s gazes you’re sure you can see into the depths of his soul. You don’t want to do anything else but be in this moment with your mate - your perfect mate. From then on, you told yourself you’d always ensure that he knew how helpful he was to every living Na’vi in your clan.

After the silence had enveloped you whole, just the two of your breathing peacefully, you move further away from him, but make sure to stay close. “Now,” you sigh, gesturing your head over to the mat in the corner of your tent, “why don’t you go and rest while I finish up our dinner? You’ve had a long day out hunting - it’s the least I can do.”

But, despite loving the way you want to provide for him, he can’t let that happen. He shakes his head, adamant, sitting up straighter and finally coming back to life, showing off the real Neteyam again. “No, no. I want to help.”

“Neteyam,” you urge, doing your best to perceive yourself as stern as possible. You can tell instantly by the amused look on his face that it isn’t working the way you had hoped. “It is fine, go and rest-”

“No,” he continues shaking his head, almost playful now, although you can still see the seriousness in his features. “I am not taking no for an answer.”

You’re practically whining now, wishing for once in his life that he’d let you do something for him. Practically since you had met him, since he started to court you, Neteyam had done everything for you, and whilst you loved it, whilst you adored every action he took with the thought of you in his mind, you wanted the roles to be reversed sometimes, even just once. But, he was unwavering, stating that he loved to take care of you in every way possible, that as your mate, it was his job. Somehow, he didn’t understand that it worked the same way, too. “Neteyam-”

You didn’t know what you were going to say, how you were going to convince him to just give in, but you don’t even have a slight chance of trying anything when he cuts you off with a kiss. His lips meet yours, tender and soft, but there’s undying passion left within the action. It has your heart stuttering in its beats, mind foggy until you’ve completely forgotten what you were arguing for in the first place. You can feel your cheeks start to get flustered, no doubt the colour of your skin starting to darken. You both love and hate that he can have you acting like this - stuttering and speechless - just from a simple kiss.

When your eyes flutter open, you find Neteyam already watching you. “If you keep disagreeing with me, I’ll keep doing that.” His words are soft-spoken, barely a whisper, and they flutter onto you, sending bumps along your skin, drowning in his sensations. There’s a smug smile present on his lips, cocky - he knows he’ll win this one.

Your words are just a whisper when you speak, too drunk on wholly him. “Don’t tempt me.”

There’s still a hint of amusement lingering within your voice that Neteyam catches onto quickly, a quiet chuckle escaping his lips as he shakes his head at your actions. The sound of his voice, of his happiness, only has you basking in it, too, joining in with his laughing and relishing in these moments the two of you shared.

As you give in, allowing Neteyam to help you prepare your dinner, sitting side by side and stealing not-so-subtle glances to one another, you can’t help but feel quite proud of yourself. Neteyam had come home, slightly grumpy and annoyed, and now here he is, all wide smiles until your cheeks hurt and helping his mate with dinner. It’s happened like this before, but it was nice to feel like a good mate from time to time, helping and comforting him when he only needed you the most.

That night, as the two of you finally lie on your mat, ready for sleep to take over your senses, you can tell Neteyam isn’t all that comfortable - he’s turning from one side to the other, fidgeting in place like he doesn’t really know what to do. When you question him on it, confused as to why he’s acting such a way when you previously believed he was feeling a lot better now, his only response was his puppy eyes. That’s when you knew - and instantly, you moved into action, wiggling yourself higher on the mat so you were looking down at him, opening your arms wide in a welcoming invitation. Eagerly, he let himself fall into your embrace, his arms circling around your waist, whilst yours went around his shoulders, his head sat comfortably upon her chest and tucked under your chin.

It wasn’t often Neteyam wanted to be in this position when you fell asleep, but when he did, you loved it.

With one last look down at him, not caring if it was so painfully obvious, eyes raking over his entire figure and drinking him in entirely, the butterflies began to swarm in your stomach like they always do. He was so beautiful, so enchanting, and so caring - you’d do anything for your mate whenever he called for you, because Neteyam Sully simply deserved the world.

taglist ;

@bakugouswaif @andraga12 @draiochtwrites @teyums @neteyamslovrr @tinkerbelle05 @netesanrr

#𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐑𝐑’s work ── ✎#neteyam #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar 2 #neteyam fluff #neteyam smut #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam sully x you #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x fem reader

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kitskiis · 7 months ago

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I think the saddest part about secret life Joel is just how futile all of his actions are in that season. On a surface level i mean stuff like all of his more careful gameplay being cancelled out by a singular failed tnt trap but on a deeper level i specifically mean how that character contrasts with last life Joel. Joel is undoubtedly at his lowest point in the life series in Last Life. He goes down to red in session 2 and spends the majority of the rest of the season alone (and when he does have allies it’s only bc of a shared bloodlust). The red bloodlust completely takes over and this festers for nearly *8 sessions*. Not only that but the one time he is given a chance to restart and go back to yellow his old alliance member goes to red, leaving him alone again, and he is made boogeyman the next session. This, overall, has lasting consequences (he actually wanted to be fairly friendly at the beginning of LL, a stark contrast to how bloodthirsty he was at the beginning of DL or Lim L), and gained him a reputation that has never fully gone away. This is especially bad bc most people agree that LL was the most violent season (despite the lower kill counts in comparison to LimL) and was generally the worst and most traumatizing experience in the games for most people involved. Compare this to secret life, which everyone agrees was definitely the happiest season for Joel (or at least the most normal. His life is a tragedy no matter the season.) he has allies that (for the most part rip mumbo) stick with him until the end, he is friendlier with a larger group of people, and when he initially has to deal with the loss of some of them he has people who can ground him (bc as much as I adore the bad boys, grian was not qualified to do that). He was so hopeful that season, and was generally in a much healthier place mentally. And yet, despite how much he seemed to have grown, those 2 seasons ended so similarly for him it was almost comical. Joel engaged in a fight at the end, watched his ally get killed by scott, and is then forced into a 2v1 against Scott and another player that results in Scott taking his final life and him finishing 5th overall. I was describing both of those seasons here. After everything he did to grow, after all the improvements he had made, everything ended *exactly the same*

Making this about the bad boys for a second (because I’m me) they kinda suffer similar fates. Grian learned in the most tragic way possible that his allies were doomed to fail as long as he was with them no matter what, that this was not something that he could control by simply avoiding killing them himself. Even when he actively tries to save them (“let Tim do it he needs the time” “Joel you can kill me!”) he’ll still lose them in the end. I think this realization is also what made him stop trying to fight it, which resulted in him killing or almost killing his allies from previous seasons immediately afterwards (stabbing scar in the back and that one scene where grian kinda ominously jumps with a sword like he was about to crit and kill bigb after finding out he had 50 seconds left on his timer). It’s sorta like a way of telling the universe “fine. You win”

Similarly Jimmy. Well. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Even when he was given hope that things could be different, that he could break the curse, he died only a few minutes later. I still hold on to the narrative that the watchers only allowed that to happen to give Jimmy false hope that things can be different only to rip the rug out from under him and drive home the point that he is in a losing battle because by the time of secret life Jimmy was one of the only few people who genuinely still believed he had a chance. Obviously this is not something that can fully be a reality until he goes out first next season so if he doesn’t that’s a little awkward but just work with me here

TLDR; here is reason number 672 on why I believe the bad boys are the most doomed motherfuckers on this server and their alliance is a modern tragedy

#no one will ever hate the bad boys more than the narrative #trafficblr #life series #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #grian #solidaritygaming #jimmy solidarity #the bad boys #secret life #limited life #last life #can you tell the brain rot has gotten really really bad

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hare-beneath-pine · 2 years ago

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some elements of spellwork distinguishing animist or spirit-based approaches from the energetic and psychological -- a laughably basic and woefully incomplete list:

waking: most especially relevant for dried herbs or other preserved material. rouse what lies dormant with breath and touch and whisper.

speaking (or writing, etc): ask for assistance, don't demand it. give praise, throw in some epithets. make deals, discuss terms and conditions. say thank you. say what you mean.

listening: now shut up for a bit. anticipate communication. words, song snippets, images, colours, feelings, whatever. look out for a "no" and be ready to honour it--it may hit hard in the chest or the guts. we have two-way streets here.

giving: praise, prayers, food, drink, candles, incense, crafts, all the usual suspects and more... reciprocity is key, no one likes a perpetual taker. some situations call for altruism, others for hard-nosed contracts, others for a secret third thing.

feeding: giving again, but specifically to maintain or revive longer workings. remember what the dormouse said...

sourcing: the perfect is the enemy of the good, but it makes a difference. grow, make, forage (responsibly) as much as possible. listen & give when sourcing things from the earth. shop ethically, re-use, thrift.

paring down: if it seems like a lot to go through for everything you want to include in your spell, then good. depth before breadth. use fewer herbs/stones/whatever that you know well, and that really need to be there. god i hate 12-ingredient spell jar recipes with #babywitch stuck on them. yes i will probably stick #babywitch on this. sue me.

to me these follow logically from the premise that plants, stones, bones, bits & bobs have spirit, not just energy. because that implies that their power must be given, it isn't just there to be channelled (energetic model) or derived from the practitioner's mental associations (psychological model). i claim nothing of reality and little of truth, but this premise has served me well.

just in case: the writing style is a little conceit that i use in many of my personal notes, which this was originally. obviously “in my opinion/experience/practice” etc.

#witchcraft #witchblr #spells #spellwork #animism #spirit work #beginner witch #baby witch

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khaire-traveler · 8 months ago

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🩺 Subtle Asklepios Worship⚕️

Take your medications, if any; take medications if you need to (headaches, stomaches, etc.)

Try herbal teas as remedies for MINOR health issues (nausea, stomaches, etc.)

Try to visit the doctor when needed and if able

Take care of your physical health

Exercise; get some movement throughout your day, even just stretching

Have a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Keep a picture of him in your wallet

Wear jewelry that reminds you of him

Have a stuffed animal snake or horse (potentially a rooster; doesn't seem to be a confirmed sacred animal; horse is due to Chiron)

Have symbols of his medical staff (a single snake wrapped around a stick), centaurs, stars (specifically his constellation Ophiochus), or healing (anything you associate with it) around

Take regular breaks from screens

Take a walk/hike outside, especially under the sun when you can get some Vitamin D

Try to eat healthy if you can; eat fruits and veggies, drink milk or calcium-rich drinks, eat fish or protein-rich meats, etc.

Drink herbal teas or natural juices

Try to take care of your hygiene; take regular showers, brush your teeth, wash your hands, use moisturizer, etc.

Eat three meals a day

Try to work on maintaining a regular sleep schedule

Engage in relaxing or calming activities before bed or when you're stressed

Have a morning and night self-care routine

Be gentle with yourself, especially when you're having a difficult time

Practice mindfulness; try meditation if you can

Keep your space clean; make it comfortable and physically safe for yourself

Remind yourself that healing, especially mentally, is rarely a linear path

Look into healthy coping skills for any anxiety, depression, trauma, etc. - anything that can improve your mental/emotional well-being

Prioritize your own well-being

Practice compassion, especially toward yourself

Spend time with loved ones and pets

Try to feed your pet healthy foods; make sure to keep any pets healthy (measure their food intake, give them regular exercise, groom them regularly, etc.)

Support others who are going through a difficult time IF YOU CAN; sometimes we're not well enough to help, and that's ok!!!

Keep a self-care/self-love journal

Take a self-care bath/shower, especially with herbs

Try eating healthy snacks, such as nuts, seeds, berries, or granola

Learn about healthcare, anatomy, or any medical conditions you or loved ones have

Learn your rights when it comes to healthcare as well as your options; educate yourself on HIPPA (if in US)

Support healthcare, humanitarian, or homeless shelter organizations

Cook a meal for someone in need

Cook a meal for a loved one or pet

Donate clothes, food, hygiene kits to homeless shelters; donate warm clothes in the winter

Sit outside, especially in sunlight, for a while; meditate if you're able or do something relaxing, such as playing an instrument or drawing

Feed neighborhood cats, dogs, birds, etc.

Grow your own herbs or produce

This is my list of discreet ways to worship Asklepios! I hope it helps someone out. I may add more later on. Take care! 💚

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

#helpol #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #asclepius #asclepius deity #asclepius worship #asklepios #paganblr #pagan tips #deity worship

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weirdsht · 2 months ago

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Disillusioned 16 . Heterogeneity

a/n: 80 pages, 20k+ words and these mfers still haven't realised their feelings... even I'm getting frustrated lol

double update this week as my sorry for being late huhu

tags: war, injuries, blood, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, atp just name every negative feeling there is, reader is rosalyn's walking headache, feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Battles pile up and they win every single one. It should make _____ proud. Should make them happy. They should be celebrating and not feeling insecure.

If others are asked, they’ll say how great of a support _____ has been. Not only did they heal and support the core players of the war, but they were also in charge of differentiating the enemies. Especially during Operation Ghost.

In a way, they were like a vice commander but were more focused on locating and knowing the enemy.

However, _____ did not see it that way. Could not appreciate the efforts they had been pouring in during this war.

They are towing a line towards a dangerous mindset and they could see nothing wrong with it.

It doesn’t help that _____ grew up repressing and hiding their emotions.

Because now that they really want to, no one could tell just how hurt the healer is. Not when Cale is too busy running around everywhere and Rosalyn is not with them. _____ made sure that no one could tell just how injured they were. Just how many layers of bandages they have wrapped around their body from absorbing too many wounds.How some of those wounds have reopened so many times because they kept pushing themself.

How deep inside they were a mess.

Not just physically, but also mentally. They tried really hard but there’s still turmoil left from the news of their family being human traffickers. Guilt still eats away their conscience every waking day.

Frustrations about their ability are still growing bigger and bigger.

_____ hid all of that.

If ever asked why they would argue that it was needed. This time is a time of war. Cale can’t even eat properly, so what gave them the luxury to expatiate on these useless feelings and injuries?

In addition to that, aside from the wounds that reopened here and there, they were feeling fine. The healer had taken this chance to slowly experiment reverse healing. It’s hard, in fact, 99% of the time it’s the reason why their wounds reopen. Harming people is more difficult than healing them.

It’s hard but not impossible.

But it’s still not enough to make _____ feel better. They must get stronger. Must control it better. They have to help everyone fight off the enemy.

But then…

Pop!

Like a bubble, that pressure _____ had been piling on themself burst.

It’s a very natural thing to happen. _____ is only human after all, humans are bound to explode when there’s too much pressure tightly sealed.

For _____ that pressure burst in the form of acting rashly.

No one knew what their last straw was as there were so many variables that could have added to it.

It could have been because of how the church of the Sun God spewed nonsense in front of Mary.

Could have been when Raon and Cale heard them ponder whether they could transfer dead mana to themself using their ability. (This made Cale stick the healer closer to him and Choi Han.)

Maybe it was because of those priests who acted all high and mighty but couldn’t do anything in the end.

Perhaps it was how the empire’s forces had been strutting around, acting all good when in fact they were dirty bastards.

No one can accurately pinpoint which one it is. All they knew was that _____’s bubble suddenly burst and the unfortunate victim was the dragon half-blood.

_____ who was doing their best to support and heal Choi Han while physically supporting Cale saw Raon's light attacking the Dragon half-blood. While it looked powerful, the healer knew it would not be enough, they knew that the Dragon half-blood would be able to escape.

That’s why _____ thought that if that bastard was going to escape, might as well double his suffering.

"I thought that hooded person was just your baggage but what is this..."

If Cale didn't pay attention to that half-blood's comment about the Dragon blood, he certainly paid attention to that last comment. How could he not when the half-blood suddenly had a wound near his heart that was neither from Choi Han nor Raon?

No one had stabbed him or anything. The wound literally just manifested out of nowhere. Cale has no idea where it could have come from.

Wait, manifest out of nowhere? That's almost like…

At that moment Cale noticed that _____ was not supporting his body anymore. Before he could turn around to check on them, he heard Raon's panicked voice ringing in his head.

“B-blood..! Human, kind _____ is bleeding!”

When Cale turned around he saw nothing at first. This was because _____ made sure to not get blood on their clothes, well at least the outer layer that everyone could see. However, Cale soon saw the blood on the black bone wyvern as well as the bloody dagger on their hand.

"Just what-"

"It's fine Commander, I'm fine. Please reassure the people first, I can manage. But it would have been better if I managed to snag some of that half-dragon’s vitality…”

There’s no way anyone would believe the healer was fine. Not with the copious amount of blood dripping down on the wyvern’s bones.

“Raon please hide my dagger in your dimensional pocket for a while. I don't want anyone to see it."

_____'s voice was extremely weak as they spoke. Cale who became even more frustrated after hearing this seriously thought about ditching everyone on the ground then and there.

"You- haaaa. Choi Han make sure to support _____ when we get down."

While Choi Han was supporting _____, he made sure to pour the highest-grade potions on the healer. It might not be able to heal all their wounds as their condition is too severe, but it will help stabilize them for the time being.

Soon, Choi Han saw an opportunity to bandage _____'s wounds while Cale was talking to Cage. He would've asked for the knight healer and the mage but he knows _____ is only comfortable with their family and the Henituse servants assessing their body.

Till this point, he didn't know the full extent of their wounds yet. He just thought the injuries they had were from healing.

However, Choi Han did not recall anyone having a stab wound so close to the heart.

At least not anyone from their forces.

"_____ just what-"

"So you see, I discovered this really funny thing I can do. I'll tell you later."

The healer weakly chuckled as if they found the situation funny. Choi Han could now understand Cale's frustration. _____'s bandages and inner layer of clothes are soaked with blood. The black robe they were currently wearing was also starting to get soaked.

"Choi Han-nim get bandaged up already, I'm fine. I didn't work hard to heal you out there just for you to not get full treatment. I would finish the job but as you can see…"

Choi Han held back a sigh. Instead, he looked at _____ with a gaze that seemed to be asking if they were fine. The now bandaged-up healer just shooed him with their hands. The swordmaster was still reluctant to leave them alone, luckily Mary arrived.

"Mary please look after _____ for a while."

Mary agreed and only then was Choi Han able to walk away with peace of mind.

At first _____ thought that they would not get proper treatment until they went back to the Super Rock Villa. That was why they opted to sleep on the couch in Cale's room. Luckily, Eruhaben arrived along with Pendrick. Before Cale could even get a word out about _____'s condition the Ancient Dragon was already asking the Healer Elf to heal them.

The heavily injured _____ slept through all of that.

Evening had passed and the sun was out the next time they woke up. The healer didn’t know what to expect when they woke up, but it certainly wasn’t a barrage of embarrassment.

First thing they noticed was how they had been moved from the couch to Cale’s bed. Second thing was how there’s a communication device open on the bedside table.

“Glad to see my dongsaeng is awake. There’s a lot of things we must catch up on, yes?”

_____ didn’t know whether to be embarrassed that they kept Rosalyn waiting, or be scared at the way she’s smiling…

“If you’re looking for everyone they all have several agendas to attend to. Some of them are healing soldiers while some are talking to officials.”

The previously embarrassed _____ composed themself and properly sat up on the bed.

“...I’m sorry.”

Both of them already know what the apology is for.

“I know what I did was rash. I had acted recklessly and illogical and it may have hindered some of our plans.”

The mage on the other side of the communication orb only sighed.

“Haaa, that’s not the problem. My main issue is how you got injured. Everyone cares for you and is upset about how you don’t seem to hold yourself in the same regard. We’re worried about you.”

Rosalyn could feel the headache coming when she saw the confused expression on _____’s face.

“But unnie[1], doesn’t Cale do the same thing? Like him, I’m also fine. I heal faster than average and it’s not like these wounds will leave scars.”

Forget a headache, this is a migraine.

“Dongsaeng, you do know how we feel whenever Cale coughs blood or faints right?”

“Huh? Yeah, everyone gets worried and becomes scary… oh…”

Oh indeed

“Exactly, we worry about Cale. We worry about you too. I heard Eruhaben had been sighing the whole night. That's why you better tell this unnie of yours why you did such a thing.”

“Well…”

_____ trailed off as they drank a glass of water that had been conveniently left for them.

“I don’t know honestly… But these past few days I felt as though I wasn’t doing enough. Cale is on the front lines of the war and I’m at the back and can barely do anything. It was frustrating to see the Empire try to play us around like that. Then I also feel irritated that Cale can’t even eat properly because everyone is putting pressure on him. Mary-nim being targeted by the church when she’s risking her life to help defend the kingdom is also not helping. I also think Cale's bleeding during the Henituse battle also riled me up… Unnie I’m not sure what’s happening to me… I think my emotions are getting the best of me.”

Rosalyn can see a growing pattern here…

“Did you know that you seem to mention the young master-nim every other sentence?”

As the big sister, it’s Rosalyn’s job to guide her sweet, but unaware dongsaeng.

“Huh did I? Hans told me once that we seem to be close. That must be why.”

“Is that so? Tell this unnie more about how you feel, that might help us figure out what’s happening to you.”

Rosalyn’s scary smile is gone and has been replaced with the warm smile _____ is used to.

“There were a few times when there was something warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest. It also feels odd when I’m not with Cale. Uhm like when you guys went to the Paerun Kingdom. I feel frustrated and sad whenever Cale doesn’t take care of himself but I think that’s normal… Unnie, honestly I’ve never felt this way. Is this how it feels to have friends? You know I’ve never had one before you guys.”

Laughter echoed throughout the room at the question. Rosalyn couldn’t help herself but started to feel bad when she saw the confusion on the healer’s face.

“_____, do you feel the same way towards us?”

That made _____ think for a few seconds.

“Well I also worry and love everyone else in our group but I guess not to the extent I feel towards Cale? I also don’t get that warm and fuzzy feeling from anyone else. Oh no unnie, is this how playing favourites start? I don’t want to play favourites.”

“Ahahaha! No, no don’t worry, you aren’t playing favourites. But I can’t say that what you feel for the young master is friendship.”

The confused _____ became even more confused.

“Not friendship? What could it be then?”

“That, my dongsaeng, is something you must answer yourself. But I’ll give you a clue since you’re smart. You and young master Cale read books together right?”

_____ started reminiscing all the novels they’ve read with Cale.

“We read different genres. There’s action, mystery, comedy, fantasy, drama, romance…”

_____ isn’t sure if they like where this is going.

“I knew my dongsaeng was smart!”

The mage clasped her hands to show how proud she was. Not that the healer can appreciate it since they’re currently in turmoil.

_____ started thinking about the narratives they have read in romance books. Started comparing them to how they felt about Cale.

And holy shit it fits.

It fits like a goddamn missing puzzle.

The healer doesn’t know what to do with this information.

“_____, my dongsaeng _____. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way. You’re in that perfect age where you should experience romance in your life.”

Rosalyn comforted the currently distraught _____.

“What you do with your feelings is up to you. You can act on it, you can let it pass, you can try to get over it. It’s up to you. Whatever you do, I'll support you.”

“Unnie… Thank you… Not only for this but for everything else as well.”

“Anything for my dongsaeng.”

Rosalyn smiled one last time and with that, their conversation ended.

_____ got up from the bed as soon as the communication device turned off. They then started freshening up themself by doing their usual morning routine.

A few minutes later, _____ is ready to go help Pendrick heal the soldiers. They’re even wearing their usual priest robe because they know that Cale must want to scam- uhm “spread” the word of the Sun God Church.

However not even 10 steps outside the room, Cale is there with Choi Han and Eruhaben forcing the still-injured healer back inside the bedroom.

[1] chose unnie because it sounds cuter in my opinion lol. again why can't there be a gender-neutral honorific

#trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #tcf #lcf #cale henituse #lotcf #totcf #tcf x reader #lotcf x reader #lcf x reader #totcf x reader #manhwa x reader #cale x reader #cale henituse x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #x gn reader #x reader #disillusioned . tcf

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heartlilith · 1 year ago

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Drunk Confessional (Personal Astrology Observations)

Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements while sipping on some dranks ;)))

🍻My Sun, Venus, and Mars are in my 8th house using Whole Sign System and using Placidus I have Moon and Venus in the 8th house. Any other 8th housers especially attracted to what others deem creepy/weird/dangerous? Whether it's people, topics of conversation, music taste, or superstitions. When I talk to my boyfriend about what happens after we die, he WON'T hear it. I got an Ouija board for Christmas one year and he wouldn't summon demons with me :( he's so scared lmfaooo. Also, my boyfriend has been to jail, has face tattoos, and is the embodiment of controversial. Any other 8th housers relate? No? Okay.

🍻Going off of ^^^. I met this girl one time at a ... facility ... and she went by the name Lilith; she's instagram famous, goth, loves witch shit, she's a satanist and basically she was everything that people side eyed. When I tell you I LOVED THIS GIRL. I wish we kept in contact, I swear I had heart eyes and I'm straight af. She was so intriguing and we became such good friends... I miss her. She was an Aries Sun, Aries Moon, Scorpio Rising. The coolest chick.

🍻I have 12th Pluto and Chiron (whole sign) and in the 11th house (Placidus) and I ghost everyone. Most times it's unintentional. Due to some issues at home, I up and left my hometown in the middle of the night to live with my boyfriend a couple states away and the next day my friends were like "Wtf? Where are you?".

🍻Guys I am the queen of running away when things get hard. Even when I was young. I'm not really sure what would indicate this? Maybe Uranus/Neptune in the 1st? 12th house Sagittarius? No clue. I'm a master escapist physcially, mentally, substance-ly ;).

🍻I have never had a "dream job" (Sun and Neptune square MC). All I know is I will be rich. I know it in my heart. I fucking better be.

🍻Actually ^ not true I wanted to be an Astronaut when I was like 5. URANUS IN THE 1ST... I am one with the aliens. This works for Aquarius rising, Uranus/Aquarius Dominant.

🍻Capricorn Rising/Saturn in the 5th house here and for all of you that claim prominent Capricorn placements are boring... let me tell you something... we are busy getting rich so fuck you

🍻I think prominent Earth placements (esp Cap), it's not the materialism that comes with being rich that we want... its the security. Like if life goes wrong in anyway, at least we have the resources to somehow make it better. It's a security blanket. I'd rather be crying in a mansion than crying in a shack. ALSO, most of us know what it's like to grow up poor or below the middle class line.

🍻So my placements - Lilith in the 1st house especially. I'm always reading posts about being sexually wanted or some version of that. Let me tell you I wear sweatpants and sweatshirts most of the time. That profile pic over there? Yeah I don't look like that most days. I feel like since this placement gets sexualized a lot and gets exposed sexually at a young age ... it results in this. Male attention? I used to need that, now I hate men (at least most of them). Scorpio MC and Lilith in Capricorn too.

🍻Scorpio MC - yes I want to be feared. I want to hold power over people that makes them think twice about fucking with me. But not feared in a way that they think I'm mean or rude... feared as in powerful, like a boss type of way. In reality, I run from confrontation and am too scared to stick up for myself but WE ARE WORKING ON IT. Check back in 10 years. I feel like Sun/Lilith in the 10th house, prominent Capricorn placements, prominent Scorpio placements, Aries placements, and Leo placements feel this too.

🍻I have Mars in the 7th house and in terms of romantic relationships, yes I am the problem.

🍻Aries in the 3rd house and the only person I've physcially fought is my sister. I beat the hoe.

🍻MY SISTER ... OK, HOLD ON NOW. SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE. Let me know WHY this girl is a Taurus Sun, Taurus Moon, Aries Mercury, Taurus Venus, Virgo Mars... (I think her rising is Virgo but not confirmed) ... she goes into work one day, 2 hours late cause she overslept and when her boss confronted her she said "I don't believe in the concept of time" WTF. This is the only thing that makes me doubt astrology. Just kidding, I guess its all the Taurus but ??? Still I'm confused.

🍻Since she was Earth dominant ^, she never had to study for tests in school. She had an almost perfect average and never studied. Meanwhile my ADHD ass (Moon square Jupiter, Sun/Mars (3rd house ruler) opposition Neptune, Neptune in the 1st, Sun opposition Uranus) struggled with a 2.8 in high school.

🍻My mom is a Taurus Sun Libra Moon and my dad is a Scorpio Sun Sagittarius Moon. They aren't together anymore, but when I tell you they're children in old people bodies... me and my parents are more like friends if anything. I was never grounded, never in trouble for what other people my age were in trouble for, and my friends liked them more than me I swear.

🍻Having a lot of Leo in the chart mixed with a healthy scoop of Cancer may make someone kind of dramatic... but it's how I really feel guys ok? Yes, the fact that I have to wake up tomorrow at 8am is sending me rn. Off a ledge. Into a river. Never to return. I would rather eat dirt.

🍻12th house profection year and I never want to go to bed. I never want the day to end. Sleep is a bummer right now. Even when I do sleep I wake up like 100 times. Mostly cause my cat needs pets and who am I to deny him?

🍻ANYONE WITH AN EARTH MOON, ESPECIALLY VIRGO LIKE ME OR 6TH HOUSE. Get a pet. Get one. They rely on you and need you and love you to death. Someone/something NEEDING an Earth/Virgo Moon?! A dream. I love to be needed. I have a dog (1 year) and two kitties (7 months)... they are my literal children that I birthed.

🍻My boyfriend is a Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury & Venus, and Libra Mars... I would pay money to see the female version of him. He's such a brat. BUT he is so fun to be around and is my best friend. His moon is in my 1st house, Sun in my 7th, Venus in my 8th and Mars in my 9th.

🍻Speaking of Aquarius Moon... I've met people with this moon sign and all of them have a detached sense of family in some way or another. Whether they don't have a close relationship with them or they're super independent. My boyfriend was adopted!

That's all for tonight folks xoxo

If I offended you in anyway, no I didn't.

#astrology #astro observations #astrology community #astro #astro community #sagittarius #leo #rising signs #scorpio #cancer #sun signs #astrology observations

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sojourner-between-worlds · 6 months ago

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Things about being a Christian I've had to unlearn as an adult:

Spending a lot of time on/ being invested in something doesn't make it an idol. This is not how that works, bestie. Look. I get that the advice "if you spend more time on x hobby than you do reading the Bible and praying" is well-intentioned, but it's just plain Bad. There are a lot of hobbies that take significant amounts of time. Art. Writing. Trade hobbies, like woodworking. I spent two hours Saturday putting in a garden (now that I have space for one!), and not spending two hours and one minute on Bible reading doesn't mean that gardening is now an idol for me. It means I got into a groove and just kept going (and got terribly sunburned for my trouble). What makes something an idol is NOT how much time you spend on it but rather the importance you place upon it. Sometimes important things take five minutes and sometimes they take an hour; the thing that took five minutes isn't less important because it took up less of your time. If your thought process is "this is more important than spending time with God", that is what makes your hobby an idol. (If you are constantly foregoing your time with God in favor of a hobby, then I'd say you need to re-evaluate your priorities, but spending a lot of time on something does not inherently make it an idol. Not to mention that a lot of hobbies can still bring you closer to God despite not spending that time intentionally for that purpose.)

Not having your "quiet time"/ devotions every day does not make you a "bad" Christian. This goes hand-in-hand with the previous point, and there's a lot I could say on this topic, but what it boils down to is this: God understands our human limits and the brains He gave us that sometimes make it difficult -- autism and ADHD and OCD and [fill in the blank]. I'm autistic. So when (well-meaning) people say things like, "you can't get to know God if you don't spend time with Him!" about praying and reading the Bible -- well, 'spending time' looks different for me. Socializing is difficult for me. And while socializing with God is obviously different than with people, praying is still far more mentally draining for me than for most people (especially growing up in an environment where it was implied that you have to 'say the right things' when you pray instead of just allowing it to be a conversation, but that's the next point). A lot of "socializing" for me is simply being present with someone else. This is called "parallel play": you're doing your own thing in the same space as someone else while they are also doing their own thing. This...doesn't translate well to Christianity and what Christianity is "supposed" to look like, unfortunately, so I constantly felt shame that none of the common advice worked for me when it seemed to work for everyone else. Set a time? Executive dysfunction makes switching tasks hard and once that set time has passed, "well, it's too late now". Having a reading plan? I'd miss a day, fall behind, and the shame at that would keep me from continuing to try. And when I did manage to stay on track, quite often it simply became a box to check off and that was it. So, now, I do what I can, when I can. I always get more out of it, and I think God cares more about that than sticking to a plan just so you can say you read every day anyway.

"Don't script your prayers! They'll become repetitive and you won't think about or mean them!" Oh, boy. Once again, I get the well-intentioned meaning here. You don't want your prayers to become rote and stale. But as someone with high anxiety, scripting them is the only way I can survive praying aloud with other people, and, in fact, it means I put more thought into them, not less! But hearing this kind of advice coupled with an environment where it was implied you had to say 'the right things, the right way' was absolutely detrimental to my prayer life growing up. I was always worried about saying the wrong thing, especially as an undiagnosed autistic who was constantly, ya know, saying the wrong things in conversations with people. So I definitely didn't want to say the wrong things to God! But... I also wasn't allowed to plan what to say? How was I supposed to pray then? So I just. didn't pray. For a very long time. Until I learned its just as perfectly okay to talk to God about whatever crosses your mind while you're standing at the sink doing dishes as it is sitting down with a list of things to focus on. (Not to mention that this really is just...terrible advice in general. Kudos to my pastor, who, in his current Sunday night series on worship, actually gave a tutorial on how to personalize praying the Psalms. So, you know, pre-written prayers.)

Purity Culture. Need I say more? Oh, I could write a whole post about how harmful this is, but plenty of people already have, so I'll leave it at this: I wear what I am comfortable wearing now. Something I love about my church is that our philosophy on modesty is this: The greatest sin of immodesty is saying "look at me" instead of "look at God." In other words, modest isn't about what you're wearing so much as what your attitude about what you're wearing is. If you choose what to wear because you want people to notice and stare and give you compliments, then that is immodest no matter how much of your skin is covered up. It's not immodest to wear clothes you like and that you think are attractive (or that help you look professional when its called for), but ultimately your mindset is really not about "dressing to impress." (There is a very thin line between 'modest' and 'immodest' and its not where most people think it is.)

#christianity #autistic christian #autism #autistic #(adding those tags because some of these things really are autism-specific or at least related)#i'm sure there are more than these but these are the ones i've been thinking about recently for whatever reason #feel free to add on your own things if you like #long post

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sageispunk · 5 months ago

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Fontaine NSFW Alphabet 🖤

pairing: Fontaine x black! (fem) reader

wordcount: 4.7k (def the longest thing i've written so far)

warnings: besides a mention of gunplay (letter R-risk), i have no warnings for you <3

A/N: inspired by finally rewatching TCT after a few months of avoiding it LOL but feel free to follow my sideblog @sageispunklibrary and turn on notifs to be updated when i post!!

a: aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Fontaine is so much more gentle afterwards than you’d expected. He’s really just a big ass teddy bear–once he’s satisfied with the amount of orgasms the both of you have totaled up for the night, he cleans you up and then himself, bringing you a glass of ice cold water (you had to get him to invest in a water filter for his fridge) and maybe a quick snack before letting you rest on his chest. The two of you tend to play either one of your comfort shows until you fall asleep, or an old-school r&b mixtape is playing in the CD player with all the lights out. Either way, your ear is comfortably resting directly above his thumping heart while his fingers massage gentle circles into your scalp, his soft lips leaving kisses on your forehead as you snuggle into him.

b: body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of himself would be his arms, halfway due to all the work he’s put into building them, and halfway due to your own love for them. Nothing would make him feel more like a bad bitch than the way you’d watch him lifting from across the street, on your own porch, half-pretending to read one of your newest library loans. When you’d accidentally make eye-contact, he would continue with his set, almost cockily nodding his head up at you, grinning on the inside at the way your bottom lip was firmly held between your teeth. Your own eyes wide and fully taking in the sight of his sweaty body, especially those arms that were so big and so strong, and always kept your body glued to his in those late night moments of passion that you shared.

His favorite body part of yours was your tummy. When you first moved into the neighborhood, he couldn’t help but notice your natural inclination to have your belly out, in a crop top, in a bandeau, a bikini top–every time you stepped out the house, he would fight mental battles to keep his dick down in his sweats. You looked so soft, with your lil rolls and faded stretch marks, not to mention the perfect piece of silver jewelry that you kept on your belly button. When you first started hanging out, you couldn’t help but notice his eyes always lingering on your tummy, and for a moment, it made you slightly self-conscious about it. That is, until you became closer, physically, and he would show you just how much he loved your body, with his big fingers caressing your soft skin as he traced your stripes, and his lips laying gentle kisses along each curve..It was his favorite place to rest and worship.

c: cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Fontaine cums a lot. Like, a lot. You sometimes joke about getting a glass to see if he could fill it to the top. (He brushes you off but you’ll wear him down one day). He prefers to cum inside of you though, so both of you can feel his release, and especially so he can watch it all drip out of you when you’re too exhausted to move. It’s his way of claiming you, marking his territory in a sense (and he couldn’t wait until your birth control was ready to come out of your arm, just so he could watch his seed grow inside of you). His second favorite spot to cum was on your lower belly, after a good session of fucking you hard and deep with your feet touching the headboard, making you squirt over and over again until neither of you could take it anymore. He’d pull out, groaning and stroking furiously until his milky nut spilled out over your brown skin, rubbing it in with his sensitive tip as he empties out. (Bonus points if you swipe all his cum up with your fingers and stick them in your mouth, swallowing it all down while he watches you–he’d be ready to go again right after that).

d: dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Fontaine’s dirty secret is his foot fetish. He’s not super freaky about it, but he does loveee to rub on your feet when you rest your legs across his lap, and suck on your toes anytime he has you laid back with your legs on his shoulders. And when you realize he loves your cute lil feet so much, you start letting him pick out the color every time you go to the salon, which gets him even more excited to play with your feet. He knows you’re ticklish so he tries not to mess around too much, but he does love to watch you squirm as his tongue wiggles itself between toes, knowing that you could feel each spark of electricity running all the way from your feet directly to your throbbing pussy.

e: experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s experienced, like look at him, he’s had his fair share of slutting it up, but the two of you don’t talk about your past flings or relationships because they’re irrelevant, plus you both tend to get a little jealous. You’re glad for his experience though, because there hasn’t been a time where you’ve fucked and you were left without an orgasm–he typically makes you cum about two or three times before he even does. He likes to take care of you, and he knows how to take his time to study your body and pay attention to what makes you completely unravel for him, and if you have to thank all the lovely women he was with before you for all the dutiful patience he has with you, then you will. Hypothetically.

f: favorite position (this goes without saying)

Fontaine’s favorite position is cowgirl. He loves to watch you take control, to show him how much you want it. He can also see everything in this position, except your ass of course, but he makes up for that by having at least one hand firmly planted on a cheek the whole time, roughly slapping it every now and then. He can never make up his mind when it comes to watching you ride him, eyes wandering everywhere–from your pleasure-ridden face and scrunched up eyebrows, to your breasts bouncing and swaying in his face, hard nipples and beautiful dark areolas damn near making him drool down his chin, that soft tummy he loves so much, jiggling with every movement you make on top of him, and lastly–that sopping wet cunt of yours. His eyes watch your pussy swallow him whole, covering every inch of his throbbing length in your juices and cream, the stickiness dripping down onto him and coating his own trimmed base, the sounds emanating from where you meet downright filthy and almost pornographic. You love to tease him in this position, especially once you prop yourself up on your feet with your hands on his shoulders, riding slow and watching his eyes get lower as he gets closer. He tries his hardest to keep his legs from shaking, especially once you start bouncing and teasing only his tip, with a drunken grin on your face. Another reason he loves this position so much is because he can so quickly snatch that power right back from you, especially in moments like these. Planting his feet down on the mattress and gripping onto your waist, he begins thrusting up into you like there’s no tomorrow, immediately pulling screams and cries out of you and demanding that you keep your teary eyes on him the entire time.

g: goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on the mood tbh. Usually he’s more serious and quite determined to get you there, mind focused on you and your pleasure…but there will always going to be moments where the two of you try out a new position and it’s not going very well, or you’re a bit too pent up and trying to blindly undress while making out and your faces collide in a rather unpleasant way…moments like these are where he’s more likely to get a little goofy with you, smiling and chuckling at the silliness of it all. These are probably the most intimate times you have with him.

h: hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Ngl, before he met you, he was just letting it all grow out how it wanted to, thick curly pubes spreading down from his happy trail—which you love to tickle and kiss on—but he started trimming down there, not wanting the hair to get in your way when you’re busy blowing his mind away, literally. Sometimes you think he’s figured out that you actually love the way his pubes slightly tickle your nose when you get all the way down to the base.

i: intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Fontaine is very intimate, especially when the two of you are alone, in the comfort of his or your home. He always has to be touching on you—rubbing, caressing, massaging, kissing. And it’s 10x worse when you’re in the bed. Once you’ve passed the foreplay and teasing stage of your nightly passions, he can’t stand for your body to be separated from his. His big body enveloped yours, especially when he was on top, closing you in and creating a warm, safe barrier from the outside world. Holding your hands as he pinned them against the pillows, stroking deep into you with a strong and unbeatable rhythm. Eye-contact is huge for him as well, at any time of the day, in any position. Your beautiful brown eyes never failed to hypnotize him, sending him into a trance in which his only duty was to leave you shaking and spent on his bed.

j: jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Generally, he doesn’t masturbate much, he’s too busy trying to take care of business most of the time. But since you started sending daily pics to his phone of you…after your showers, in bed, during a bath, nearly anywhere you could show a lil extra skin…He never cared for having a smartphone, other than the fact that everyone had one these days, but you made a habit of texting him spontaneous nudes, he knew there was no going back. At this point, you’ve damn near Pavlov’d him with the buzzing of his phone, once he saw your name in the notifications, his dick began to harden almost immediately. It was becoming a problem, he’d have to dip out of wherever he was just to calm himself down. Driving to an empty parking lot or a quiet alley to release his frustrations into his palm, half angry at you for teasing him while you knew he was busy, but also at himself for being so weak for you. When you gave him the bright idea to get you back by sending his own vids in response…there was no turning back for either of you. And when he really wants to fuck with you, he’ll take the sound off the video before he sends, knowing how frustrated you’d get at seeing him spill his nut all over his fingers and lap without all his beautiful grunts and moans.

k: kink (one or more of their kinks)

Fontaine’s top favorite kinks: edging and breeding. With edging, he loves to be both on the receiving and giving ends with you. There’s no better feeling than when he can order you to keep your hands behind your back as you lie against your soft down pillows, while he kneels between your legs, alternating between teasing your skin with the tip of his tongue, sucking on your precious, sensitive clit, and notching his digits deep inside you to stimulate your g-spot. Never letting you cum immediately, cockily grinning and basking in your oh-so-eager cries to let go, all over his face and fingers. When the roles are reversed, he tends to get frustrated, with you, with himself, with the whole damn situation, but god, does it make the orgasm so much better when it finally comes. He gives up full control to you, allowing you to take him however you wanted–your favorite ways to edge him are with your mouth, your soft, plump lips firmly wrapped around the tip of his dick while you play with his full and heavy balls, removing all touch every time he gets too close; or when you’re on top, making good use of your gym-built Megan Knees with some speedy but rhythmic bouncing on his dick, taking in the sounds of both your gushing pussy and Fontaine’s breathy whines from underneath you.

l: location (favorite places to do the do)

Besides either of your homes, his favorite place to fuck you is his car. He loves the riskiness of it all, the possibility of getting caught in the back of his old-school Pontiac with his face buried deep in your pussy. In broad daylight. When he’s driving you around town, his hand is always on your thigh, and if you happen to be wearing one of those short skirts that you like to prance around in…there’s no keeping his deft fingers from traveling in between your thighs. And when he brings those same fingers, now glistening with your sticky release, straight to his mouth with his eyes focused on yours…the look on your face is what tells him that he needs to pull over immediately. In the backseat, no position is off limits, he makes the space work for the both of you. If no one is kneeling between the other’s legs, then you’re using your flexibility to get into cowgirl–regular and reverse–or doggy style with your ass tooted all the way up and your face in the seats, or even the infamous spider position (that one is guaranteed to bring some giggles out of you).

m: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

What gets him going is your voice. That’s all he needs, really. That and your face. When you send him selfies and little audio messages to update him on your day, he can’t help but to smile, immediately feeling the burden of his work falling off of his shoulders. If alone, he’d shuffle in his sweats, adjusting his length, which was hardening at the thought of just being there with you. Don’t even get him started on the racy lewds you’d send him with invisible ink…immediately excusing himself to the restroom to take care of it. In person, he’s the same way– constantly staring at your face as you speak, holding strong eye contact and observing all your features and mannerisms. At first, you thought it was him trying to intimidate you or make you shy, but you realized that it’s just what gets him all revved up, you get him all amped up, simply by existing as you are.

n: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Fontaine wouldn’t do anything that could genuinely harm you or possibly send you to the hospital. He’s typically more resistant to trying new things but anything you would want to try, as long as it’s safe for the both of you, he would.

o: oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh he loveeees to give, being able to look up at you as he makes you shake and quiver with just his lips and tongue is what gets him going throughout the day. The first time he ate you out, you watched with wide eyes as he ravenously slurped and sucked on your lower lips and swollen clit, with fingers simultaneously manipulating all your inner spots. You came in under a minute and once the vision was restored in your eyes, you realized you’d never let that man go. When it comes to him receiving, he pretends not to love the intense teasing you enjoy giving him, but deep down it's his favorite part. The power and confidence that spreads across your face as you watch him gasping and shuddering under your tongue and fingers is something he loves to witness. Another thing that gives him life is when you get bold enough to take him all the way down your throat, holding it there and letting the gagging sounds fill the room. When he gets you to look up at him with a mouthful of dick and a chin dripping a sinful mix of spit and precum, your eyes all low and watery…he knows that you're his and he’s yours.

p: pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This also depends on the mood. The fast and rough Fontaine is typically reserved for moments in which he needs to release lots of stress or frustration, or he knows that you need to after a long day. He does a great job of roughing you up when he’s like this, gripping and grabbing onto any part of you just to keep you close to him, your ass, your tits, your hair…there was even that one time he pulled you closer with a hand on your pussy. This Fontaine is a bit of a sadist, he revels in the sounds of you begging and whining, finding great pleasure in the way your entire body would shudder when he spanked your bare ass. You beg him to go faster, harder, deeper, with a hand around your throat, or two. He always obliges, never stopping until the both of you are emptied and nearly passed out. Slow and sensual Fontaine is the one that shows up when he just needs you and your love. These are his more intimate times, both his hands finding solace someplace on your body while his eyes are firmly locked in on your own brown orbs. He loves to watch your face while he strokes deep inside you, his hips moving in slow, intricate waves as they search to locate every pleasure spot within your sugar walls.

q: quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Fontaine isn’t really one for quickies, unless it’s one of your midday car adventures. Any other time, if you both were that needy to get nasty, you’d just cancel on whatever you were going to do, and if you were already out, then you’d simply go home. He just loves to take his time with you so rushing through a quickie isn’t something he particularly enjoys. If anything, he would let the sexual frustration between you build up until you’re back home, so everything hits 10x better with that extra tension that needs to be released.

r: risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Fontaine is game to experiment with you most of the time, even if he is a bit hesitant. After all, you were the one that introduced him to bondage, gentle femdom, anal…and possibly even pegging (if ur into that🫣). All of which he’s enjoyed. The biggest risk he ever took with you was indulging your slight gun kink. You’d been interested in gunplay long before you met him but you never wanted to buy your own gun, nor did you date anyone with guns. When you saw his piece the first time, the dark, cold metal tucked carefully into his waistband, he could already see the raw curiosity behind your eyes. He had to teach you gun safety of course, during which he was the most serious you’d ever seen him. You set up boundaries with each other, like you always do when introducing something new in your bedroom, and once he felt that both of you were ready, he was happy to oblige you. (There is a continuation of this on Ao3).

s: stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Fontaine has great stamina, compared to most that you’ve slept with. On average, he can hold his own nut off to make you cum at least two or three or maybe even four times before he does, then once he cums, he can go 1 more time almost immediately after, especially if you’re still up and ready for more. Usually, the sex lasts for at least a couple hours, given both his and your love for foreplay. There was one night that you both had been so pent up, you managed to fuck until the sun literally came up, with small breaks in between each round of course. Still, it was the longest you'd ever had sex, and you both spent the whole day sleeping off your soreness.

t: toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Fontaine doesn’t own any toys of his own, he’s considered getting a cock ring for foreplay, but hasn’t made the purchase yet. However, he does love to use your toys on you whenever you’re at your place. The rose and dick combo for when he wants you crying and twitching, the dildo for when his own dick is recovering but you still wanna cum, your cute pink buttplug that he’ll make you wear while he trains your throat…He is not a man who’s afraid of using toys on his partner, at all. Hell, he’s even let you use your wand on his dick and balls, granted…he was tied to the bed and couldn’t do much about it, but the nut that came from it was something out of this world.

u: unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, he’s a huge tease. Back to you guys exchanging nudes, he’s grown to love sending his own pics and vids of himself, stroking and cumming and groaning your name, especially when you’re away and busy with work or school. And if you’ve been particularly unfair with him lately, you can almost guarantee that he’ll send you something with either the end of the video cut off, or the audio off, just to get you ramped up. One time, you were on a trip with your girls, away for only three days, which was apparently too much for Fontaine. In the middle of the second night, he wanted you to call for a nice little facetime session, but you were out in a bar with your friends, unaware of the multitude of messages and calls hitting your phone.

When you’d arrived back at the hotel, you opened up the messages and noticed one of the last ones was a video, about 5 minutes long, followed by a goodnight text. Once your friends were asleep, you snuck away to the bathroom to watch the video. He was in his car, phone held in front of him while his other hand stroked his dick. You bit your lip watching, slipping your own hand into your pajama shorts to match his own movements with gentle circles around your clit. Your eyes shifted from his dick to his slightly exposed tummy and happy trail to his plump lips at the top of the screen. He spoke so many dirty things while he jerked off for you, seemingly rambling on about what he wanted to do to you, with you, in and on you…and what he wanted you to do to him. How good you make him feel, how much he misses you, how he hopes you’re not having too much fun without him.

By the 4 minute mark, both of you were already close, trembling and desperate for a release, but you held off yours so you cum at the same time as he did on the video. The end was nearing and you didn’t know how long you could hold it off for, but the pitch of his voice was elevating so you knew he was close. You cursed as the time reached 4:35, only ten seconds left and he still hasn’t cum. He moaned out a few curses himself before a breathy I love you escaped his lips, the three words immediately causing your body to jerk. You kept your eyes glued to the screen as your fingers continued circling quickly, wanting to see him spill all over his fingers so you could cum too. You heard that familiar gasp he always does before he cums, but just as soon as that final excitement rose, it crashed, the video ending and your orgasm fading away too quickly for you to catch up.

v: volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Fontaine is not much of a loud lover until you’re in control. He’s nowhere near quiet, but any other time, he’s more focused on making you scream, his own moans getting lost in your sounds. When he’s under your reign and domination, he’s damn near transformed into an opera singer. He’s loudest when you’re edging him, and especially once you let him cum after so many missed orgasms. Deep, feral groans turn into whiny moans, which turn into cries and breathy pleading for you to give him relief. You love it when he sings for you, and he knows it. That’s why he never holds back, regardless of whichever roles you two are playing.

w: wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Using this to expand on his breeding kink from earlier. As stated before, one of Fontaine’s top kinks is breeding. He loves cumming inside of you, and even though you use birth control, he can’t help but imagine you pregnant and full of his child each time. He loves to watch his nut drip out of you, just for the visual proof that you’re all his, but something he loves more is to fuck it all back inside of you, with his fingers or his dick, it doesn’t matter. When he’s in it, he can’t help but taunt you with all the dirty thoughts floating around in his head. Whispering in your ear about whether or not your silly little pill is strong enough to beat all the cum he’s leaving deep inside you, asking you about baby names, where you should look for a new house, and how much you want to go shopping for maternity clothes…By the end, there’s nothing on your mind but the fact that you would look so pretty with a full, round belly to show everyone around town that you belong to him, and him only.

x: x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

We already know Taine is thick…thick thighs, a lil belly and some strong ass arms. He’s also fairly hairy, which isn’t a surprise considering his full beard and mustache. I’d also like to imagine him as being at least 6ft, so big and tall and strong enough to pick you up and throw you across the room. His dick…is thick but not so much that it hurts to get your lips around it, and it’s about 7, 7.5 inches fully hard, so not too big and not too small. It’s mostly evenly toned, dark brown with a slightly darker head. (Honestly, I’m gonna stop here because I’m feeling very depraved writing these details LMAO just imagine his dick how you want it).

y: yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Fontaine’s sex drive wasn’t crazy high till he met you, then he quickly learned to match your energy. When he’s busy with work, he has to literally avoid his phone so he doesn’t think too much about you, because you’re a distraction, sexually and non-sexually. Especially if you’re sending him your little pics and voice notes throughout the day, once he catches a glimpse of your face or hears your voice, there’s almost no stopping him from daydreaming about the two of you the night before, dick growing uncomfortably hard in his jeans, causing him to excuse himself from everyone.

z: zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t fall asleep that quickly afterwards especially if he was the one doing the domming, mostly because he tries to make sure you’re all comfortable and taken care of before he even lays down. Now, if you were the one wearing him out, you just let him lie down and relax while you clean up. Either way, once you’re both clean and refreshed, cuddling and relaxing with a fan and music playing, you’re falling asleep nearly at the same time.

A/N: Sooooo, it's finally finished, sorry to you all who had been waiting on this for so long!!! Last semester was tough and ripped away all my motivation to write fr but I'm backkkk and I hope y'all enjoy reading this, lmk what you think in the comments and please like and reblog as well! 🫶🏾

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#my writing #fontaine #they cloned tyrone #fontaine x black reader #fontaine x reader #fontaine x you #smut #black reader #x black reader #sageispunk

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