#especially when it comes to school nights😭
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kittygamer2888 · 9 months ago
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Okay, fr this time- tomorrow I'll actually be going back to school now--
The storm was just the reason why we had to wait until next monday, and tomorrow is Monday, so...
Oh b o y.
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You can totally see my excitement rn💀
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france-the-third · 5 months ago
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man i love trying making plans with a friend and 1) they forget or 2) they answer my request to shift the plans slightly after the time we made plans for /s
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valewritessss · 8 months ago
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My life rn can be described perfectly by the phrase “I bit off more than I can chew”.
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awrkive · 8 months ago
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THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 2 — JJK (m.)
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for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.
the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader
GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 27.5k
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. shirtless jk in almost every scene ijbol he needs to get locked up, jk thigh tattoo 😔 a dash of sexual themes (ie: making out, grinding) and violence, this is pretty much MED SCHOOL LORE GALORE bcs boy, was there so much history mentioned here, 3/4 of this is in jk pov, so ladies.... prepare yourselves đŸ€”so much fluff, and we counter that with not major but not minor either ANGST, so many conversations and dialogues in this one lol, this hopefully offers every answer youre looking for from part one, when ur done reading the chapter this is how the keyring looks like
NOTES hi!! this chapter was supposed to be longer but i was like.. fuck that 😭 its getting too long. anyway. hope u guys enjoy this one!! this is my most favorite thing ive ever written i think n im weirdly very proud of this one idk. scream into my inbox and the reply section if u have #thoughtss 😄😄 [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]
[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
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You take your sweet time trying to right your wrongs.
After that day, you were the one to initiate a call with Mingyu which he answered thankfully (you were a little skeptical about him calling you that night). You went over to his place after your shift, apologizing to him for lying about your roommate situation. Admittedly, Mingyu still doesn’t seem to be wholly okay with it – but he doesn’t really say anything more about it. He kissed you better that night, his lips making you forget all about the stress that you’ve went through for the day, convincing you to stay over.
The night bled into two when he said he couldn’t let you go. Mingyu was persistent and you were unwilling to go in the first place. Partly because who didn’t want to spend more time with their significant other? But it’s also because of a certain someone that is no other than Jeon Jungkook.
Those two nights are going on four – which means that you’ve been avoiding Jungkook for the past three days now.
It doesn’t seem like a difficult task though because Jungkook seems to be doing the same. That was your hunch. He replies to you with dry-ass “okay”s when you text him about not going home because you’re staying at Mingyu’s. Nothing more, and nothing less.
Which is unusual of him. Sure, in your almost decade-long friendship, you’ve fought a bunch of times. But it usually gets resolved in a day or two. And Jungkook wasn’t ever cold like he is right now.
See, the regular Jungkook would find you anywhere on your floor at the hospital just to annoy you. When your time allows it, you eat together with your friends at lunch.
But now, he seems to always have something to do – which, okay, fair. He’s a surgeon, after all. But he doesn’t even spare you a glance whenever you two meet halfway in the hallways. Yesterday, you coincidentally scrubbed in together for the same surgery but he did not say a word to you other than, “Scalpel”.
The rest of your friends are already asking about it. Doyeon told you he had lunch with Jungkook this afternoon, but when she mentioned that maybe you were free to go with them, Jungkook suddenly had to look over a patient’s chart.
It’s not just a hunch anymore. He really is avoiding you.
And to be honest, you’re tired of the whole pussyfooting around. He’s being childish – and you’ll be the better person to come and talk to him about it. Granted, you’re three days late. But at least you’re doing it.
You texted Mingyu earlier this afternoon that you’re coming home to your apartment tonight. He was bummed about it, you could feel it through his message, nonetheless he replied saying he’ll miss you, which put a smile to your tired face from work.
When you went home from your shift at 9pm, Jungkook wasn’t anywhere in the house. Which was a shame – because you were planning to talk to him.
Well. Maybe you’d wait for him.
But it seemed like you underestimated your exhaustion for the day because as soon you finished showering, dressing yourself with your bed clothes which consists of comfortable flimsy camisole and panty shorts, you went straight to bed and passed out – forgetting about Jungkook.
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It’s past 2 am when you feel yourself waking up from your deep slumber, stomach grumbling at the emptiness, and you realize you did not only forget about waiting for Jungkook but also about eating dinner.
Walking out of your room, you head straight to the kitchen where you immediately go to open the refrigerator to see if there’s something in it you can consume. There are boxes of Chinese food take-out which makes your eyes light up. When you open to smell them, it seems that they’re still new.
You deduce it must be Jungkook’s.
That gives you the predicament of whether you should eat it or not. You take you’re not exactly on good terms as of the moment – therefore you can’t eat his food. But you’re really hungry.
Throwing away your inhibitions, you open one of the boxes, not even bothering to heat the food.
“Hey,”
You almost jump upon hearing another voice. Looking to your side, you see Jungkook approaching, with only his boxers on, upper half naked.  
“H-hey,” you say, pursing your lips into a thin line. “Are these yours?” You point to the take-out box in your hand.
Jungkook nods and heads straight to your direction. Taking one of the boxes, he hauls himself to the kitchen island, twisting his body so that he can face you.
“Yep.” he responds, dipping his fingers inside the box and taking out strands of noodles from it.
You wince at the sight. “Look like worms.”
“Just like worms.” Jungkook grins, chewing on them in that obnoxious way because he knows you don’t like noisy eaters.
Frowning, you decide to follow him to the island and haul yourself on top of it as well, sitting beside him. Jungkook scoots to the side to give you more room.
“It’s kind of like eating naengmyeon, I don’t like naengmyeon.” You tell him, opening another box and feeling delighted to see untouched stir-fried rice. “Did you just buy this earlier?”
Jungkook nods. “Left them in the fridge when I realized I wasn’t too hungry.”
“Then you woke up feeling hungry?” You smile at him.
He chuckles. “Yeah. When did you get off work?”
“Nine. You?”
“Twelve am.”
You grimace at that, but nod in understanding.
There’s a beat of silence before Jungkook speaks up again.
“Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
“Just wanted to remind you I’m still your housemate
” you joke, brushing your elbow against his arm in a teasing manner.
Jungkook laughs as he shakes his head. He picks up another batch of noodles in his fingers and then offers it to you, prompting you to arch your brow at him. “Try it.”
You shake your head. “I hate cold noodles.”
“Just try,” He insists, placing it closer to your face. You scrunch your nose, skeptical. It makes Jungkook chuckle lowly. “Head back.”
Hesitantly, you tilt your head back and open your mouth as Jungkook puts the noodles inside it. You almost choke on it when Jungkook laughs mid-way, making you laugh as well, but thankfully, you were able to chew all of them just fine.
“What the fuck.” You frown, slapping his arm good-naturedly.
“Wasn’t so bad, huh?”
“It was bad.” You say, going back to eating your fried rice. Jungkook gives you a look that says he’s not convinced. Looking at his face, you roll your eyes, “It’s like eating–” you stop mid-sentence as Jungkook quickly wipes off something on the side of your lips. It’s so quick though that you brush it off just as instantly and continue, “—literal worms.”
“Imagine if worms tasted like noodles. Wouldn’t that be sick as hell?” Jungkook muses, stretching his arm over you to reach for another take-out box on the counter. It’s so sudden that your immediate reflex was to stretch your upper body backwards, feeling a little taken aback when Jungkook’s face gets a little too close to your stomach, with his arm rubbing over your bare thighs.
He seems like it doesn’t move him, though. Just goes back to his position casually and opens another box. As he does, you can’t help but take a quick look at his bulging thighs, the short length of his boxers letting you get a brief view of the tattoo that peeks out of the expanse of his skin. You’ve seen that before many times, but not the entirety – of course not. It looks like it goes up from way above. Anyway, it’s sort of like a flower, but you’re not sure. You never really asked him about it. He never brings it up either.
“Oh, man, the dumplings got cold.” Jungkook picks inside his box as if he’d miraculously find one that’s not cold.
You roll your eyes at his antics. “You stored them in the fridge for like how many hours now?”
Ignoring you, Jungkook takes out one dumpling, trying to eat it, and you watch as he visibly winces. In a moment, he shoots one straight to the trash bin across from you.
“Oh, that’s real mature.” You say dryly.
With that, Jungkook throws another one, giving you a cheeky grin when it lands in the bin successfully for the second time.
Pursing your lips, you sarcastically say, “Wow. Two points to Xavier from Jeon Jungkook.”
That makes Jungkook look at you instantly.
“How the hell do you know that?” He gives you a look of confusion but there’s amusement written all over his face at the same time.
“Well
 Mingyu told me you both played for the basketball varsity team back in undergrad, so,”
Jungkook stops. There’s look of something in his eyes that you can’t quite point out, but then suddenly, he nods.
“He told you how good I was?” He says with a teasing tone, a contrast to his sudden and quick drop of mood a few seconds ago.
You throw him a tissue. “Don’t be cocky. He just mentioned it.”
“I was captain. Two-time MOP, 2018 and 2019 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.”
You look at him with silent reverence. Well, Mingyu didn’t tell you all that, that’s for sure. It’s a bit surreal to picture Jungkook wearing a basketball uniform, though. You’re so used to seeing him in scrubs and lab gown and his usual casual, occasionally suits when you attend formal conferences. You’ve only ever seen him sweat it out whenever he works out in the living room.
“Impressive.” You say. Jungkook grins proudly. “It’s strange I only know about it now, though.”
“You never asked.” He shrugs. “What ‘bout you? I only know you’re little miss summa cum laude.”
Huffing, you jab at his arm when he mentions it, rolling your eyes at him which only earns you a chuckle. Regardless, you tell him, “2018 NCA College Nationals. We won Coed Division One.”
Jungkook arches a brow. “NCA
 National Cheerleading Association?” You nod, eating from your take-out box so as to avoid Jungkook’s look after you do so.
“No fucking way,” He says incredulously. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling too much. You never really get to share this part about you with a lot of people. To quote Jungkook, they never ask. It’s funny when they do get surprised by it though, like he is now. When Jungkook stares at you – you don’t know if it’s just in disbelief – longer than necessary, you realize he’s staring at your face and that makes you consciously fix a strand of hair behind your ear. “Go big blue, go big blue, show ‘em what wildcats can do.” You sing a in fast tempo, chuckling about how silly it sounds.
Jungkook utters a sound of amusement. “That’s
 wow. Right now, I’m just picturing you cheering but it’s a bit hazy and shit.”
“You’re saying you can’t picture me cheering?” You playfully accuse, but you know exactly what he meant. Even you still don’t believe that you actually did cheer in undergrad. When you signed up for it, it was just because you had to choose a club, and you weren’t interested in anything other than that. You thought cheering would be fun and it was fun.
“No, I’m just—” Jungkook cuts himself off and looks at you. “Okay, now I totally deserve a cheer for that two-point shot I made just now.”
You laugh loudly at that. Covering your mouth, you look at him to see if he’s joking but he seems to be serious.
“No.” You say, your eyes widening, body stiffening.
“Come on,” Jungkook chuckles.
You roll your eyes. “You have to do more than a two-point shot to get a cheer.”
“Okay, what do you want me to do?” Jungkook eagerly presents a challange. You stifle a laugh when he gears up for something. “I can shoot dumplings further from here with my left hand.”
“Ten feet away,” You muse, giggling when Jungkook suddenly gets off the counter, carrying the box of dumplings, and positions himself further away from you. Laughing, you shake your head before you say, “You can’t do it.”
“Try me.” He says as he begins to pick out a dumpling and concentrate on the trash can. Before he shoots, he tells you, “This one’s for you.”
You watch as the dumpling misses the bin.
Jungkook beats you to speaking first. “I admit. I’m a bit rusty.”
Sneering, you eat your fried rice, not straying your eyes from him. “You have to shoot, like, three dumplings.”
“That was a trial shot.” he insists, eyeing you playfully, before he gears up for another again. You watch closely when he makes a move to shoot another dumpling.
It goes in. Jungkook smirks at you when you look at him, impressed.
“Not bad.” You cock your head to the side.
“Tss.” He shoots another shot again and it’s successful for the second time. “That’s two.” Jungkook shows you his fingers and you chuckle at his enthusiasm.
“Let’s see if you can get the third.”
Jungkook nods, and you cover a snicker again at the way his stance suddenly turns serious, as if he’s really taking the whole thing seriously.
In a few seconds, he shoots the last dumpling straight to the bin just as successfully as the last time.
“What did I say?” Jungkook brags as he goes over to the island across from you, sitting on the high chairs this time. You turn your body to look at him, containing your smile. “Your turn now.” Jungkook says with a smirk.
Your purse your lips. “I’m a bit rusty.”
“So was I!” Jungkook claims which prompts a chuckle from you.
You look at him for a while, unsure. You close your eyes, bobbing your head side to side, covering your face as you suddenly feel a sense of embarrassment at the thought of dancing in front of him.
“Promise you won’t laugh?” You say after Jungkook tries to remove your hands off your face.
He raises his right hand and fixes his sitting posture upright. “Promise.”
“If you show your teeth I’ll stop and so will this friendship.” You threaten as you bring your legs over the island to his direction.
Jungkook chuckles while saying a series of “Yeah”s, holding your hand to help you hop off the counter safely.
You take a few quick strides to place yourself in the space between your counter and dining area and look at Jungkook who settles himself comfortably in the kitchen island chair, watching you with relaxed position and crossed arms.
Feeling uncharacteristically shy, you stand upright, suddenly aware that you’re only wearing a pair of panty shorts and a fitted camisole. You don’t work out so you’re a bit conscious in front of Jungkook who looks really good in his natural form. You don’t even understand how he finds time to go to the gym or do his little work-out sesh during some nights or weekends, but you shake away the thought and smile at him coyly. He has the better body, sure, but you know well enough he’ll never judge you for yours
 besides, it’s just Jungkook. He makes you feel safe and secure, no matter the context of the situation.
Off the top of your head, you do whatever it is you remember from your college routines and begin your yell.
“Wildcats, get up and shout! We’re the team that’s gonna take it out! Give it all you’ve got, let’s hear you roar!” You chuckle mid-way, forgetting a step. “Sorry,” you apologize quickly, but then continue right away, trapping your bottom lip with your teeth to prevent yourself from completely losing it. “We’re the Wildcats, and we’re here to score! Go Big Blue! Go Big Blue—" You make a mistake again and skip a beat with your finger snaps, and when you look at Jungkook, you can’t help but give in to the laughter that’s been bubbling up inside you. “I can’t do it!” You say, cutting your “performance” short.
“What? It was good!” Jungkook says, encouraging you to continue further.
You stifle a laugh as you go back to the top again but then your mind forgets the next step and you’re messing up the choreography again. At that point, you start mindlessly cheering; jumping around and flapping your arms to make it look like somewhat of a cheer but none of the coordination. You know it looks messy, so you run over to Jungkook shamefully, plopping on the chair beside him. Bringing your legs up to the seat and covering your face in your thighs, you can’t help but giggle in embarrassment.
“Woah,” Jungkook says, but you can say there’s a hint of laughter in his tone. You know it’s not out of mockery when he lifts your head up and boop your nose. “That was cute. Best cheer I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re pushing it.” You hiss, kicking his knee slightly.
Jungkook captures your leg, and you squeal when he pinches your thigh. You both laugh at that and you thought Jungkook’s gonna let go of your leg but he keeps it on his lap.
“My stomach hurts from laughing.” You tell him, taking a deep breath, trying to regulate your heart. Everything feels funny. Your cheer was funny. You must’ve looked so stupid.
Jungkook chuckles. “Wildcats, get up and shout—”
“Jungkook!” You cut him off, removing your leg from his lap to kick him again on the thigh this time. That only prompts him to laugh louder.
When the high of the moment fades, Jungkook looks over at you.
“Do you feel sleepy?”
You shake your head. “Not really. At least not yet.”
He hums, and then takes your box of fried rice to eat from it.
There’s the silence again, but it’s quiet and comfortable. No weird tension sitting in the air.
“Jungkook,” You call him after a while.
“Hm.”
You clear your throat. “I meant to talk to you,” Jungkook stops eating and looks at you to acknowledge you. “I’m sorry.”
He stares at you for a moment. Then, he chuckles, shaking his head. “You know what’s funny? I was gonna talk to you yesterday to say I’m sorry but then you didn’t talk to me at all in the OR. I thought you were still mad at me.”
With furrowed brows, you tell him, “I thought you were mad at me. You only said “scalpel” in the OR and then that was it. No hi’s or hello’s in the hallways for the past three days.”
“Me? Mad at you?” He says, as if he can’t believe you would even think that. “I mean, you piss me off sometimes, but I don’t think I was ever mad at you.” You pout. Jungkook smiles. “I can never be mad at you,” His look is gentle and warm that you feel a little flustered for a reason unknown. It just ticks a little something in your brain, tugging something at your heart. Then, Jungkook sighs. “I’m sorry, too. For the way I went about it. The “bringing boys here” comment was out of line.”
There’s a wince on your face when you hear that.
That comment did hurt a little.
But you know it was just a heat-in-the-moment type of thing, and he just wasn’t able to think through his words well enough when he was
 well, pissed – and rightfully so. Because you did something offensive to him, and you can’t blame him for feeling the way he felt.
You nod at Jungkook. “Thank you for saying that. I’m saying sorry because I realized what you said. I should’ve informed you I was bringing Mingyu home, and I should’ve told him about you being my roommate. We really could’ve avoided that situation.”
“You can just tell me beforehand if you’re bringing him to our place.” Jungkook shrugs.
You chuckle. “No. That won’t happen again.” And it’s true. It’s awkward and it’s rude when you have a roommate.
Jungkook looks at you. “Okay. I won’t do it as well,” You shake your head, playfully rolling your eyes at him. “I’m guessing you settled it pretty quickly with him?” He gestures at your neck and you realize he’s referring to the necklace you’re wearing – the one Mingyu gave you the very same day you fought.
You want to point out it’s not really new, but you settle with, “Yeah. Fortunately.” as a response.
“I really am sorry for what happened.” Jungkook says and you can feel the sincerity in his voice.
“It’s fine,” Touching his arm, you give him a small smile. “Have you and Mingyu talked?”
Jungkook shakes his head. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you think about how that’s
 not good. They were friends before you and have just met each other again after so many years – you do not want to be that kind of person who gets in the way of some other people’s relationship.
And you really can’t have Jungkook not liking your boyfriend or your boyfriend not liking Jungkook, either.
But as much as you want to suggest that they talk it out, you know you can’t. Besides, you trust that they eventually will. They’re grown men.
“So
” you trail off. “Are we okay?”
Jungkook’s lips tilt upwards. “Are we okay?”
“Come on,” you roll your eyes. “Do we hug it out or like – I don’t know – handshake on it?”
“Let’s hug it out like we’re twelve.” Jungkook grins and in a moment, he scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.
The angle is a bit awkward with Jungkook crouching too much you don’t doubt his position is anything but comfortable, but it works, and it gives you the opportunity to pat his head as you say, “I missed hanging out with you, buddy.”
“Can’t say the same thing.”
That earns him a slight pinch to the ear easily accessible to you.
“Ow!” Jungkook says and then add, “I hate to ruin the moment but
 you’re not wearing a bra.”
You quickly grab both sides of his head to get him off your chest. He comes back sitting upright on his chair, laughing.
“Fuck off—” you flip him off and then look over your box of fried rice, but then you remember he was also eating it earlier. “You ate all of it!”
“Finders keepers.”
“I hate you.”
“Hm.”
You shake your head, standing up and starting to grab all the boxes to take them to the trash bin.
“By the way, I just got my approval from HR for our trip the next two weeks. Have you?” You ask him across the room. You can see Jungkook’s face light up at the mention.
“Yeah, of course. Got approved yesterday.” Jungkook grins. You watch as he stares at you a bit longer, his face showing a hint of confusion.
You arch a brow. “Why does your face look like that?” Jungkook shakes his head, obviously ready to dismiss it. But you’re persistent. “What is it?” You say, walking towards his direction and stopping in front of him.
“Nothing
” he trails off. Then he rubs the back of his head. “I just really thought that you
” You squint your eyes at him. Then he chuckles lightly and swipes his fingers through his hair. “I just thought the trip would be cancelled.”
Your eyebrows furrow. Frowning, you nudge at him. “What? Of course, not! We planned that trip like six months ago. I’m not backing out.”
Jungkook gives you a shy smile.
“Okay.”
You can’t help it. You bring your hands to his cheeks and pinch them.
“He’s so excited for his birthday trip!” You say, intentionally talking like you would to a toddler.
Jungkook predictably forces your hands out of his skin and holds your wrist a bit tight as he rolls his eyes at you.
“Knock it off.” He glares at you. But you’re not done with your fun, so you poke your finger to his waist, knowing that’s his weak spot, and tease him some more. “Seriously.” Jungkook huffs out and your laughter becomes louder because he looks like a grumpy child right now.
“Sorry.” you say, still giggling. He furrows his brows, and you can’t help it, you poke at his waist again. When you do it, though, Jungkook captures your wrist, effectively stopping another one of your juvenile assaults. Suddenly, you start noting the mirth in his eyes.
You’ve seen that look before and it always ends up with you almost dying from too much laughter because he always—
“You’re gonna regret that.”
You let out a squeal as Jungkook takes ahold of your waist, and before you can even voice out a protest, he easily hoists you up against his body, bouncing you up until you're hanging around his shoulder like a sack bag.
“What the hell, put me down, you prick!” You complain, slapping the rugged muscles on his back. But Jungkook just responds with a series of clicks of his tongue, carrying you across the living room.
You know he’s about to put you on the couch to tickle you to death, so you do what you could and bite down on the skin of his back.
“Ouch!” Jungkook immediately reacts, stumbling a little in his stride. You snort at that, but you immediately frown when you feel a slap to your ass.
“You asshole!”
“You just lowered your chances of being spared,” Was his last words before you feel yourself getting put down on the surface of the sofa. Soon after, Jungkook’s poking his fingers to your waist and stomach, prompting you to erupt in fits of giggles and laughter, thrashing beneath him like a caged animal.
“Pl—stop—oh my god!” You say, weakly reaching for his arms. When Jungkook doesn’t relent, you continue wriggling under him, laughing and choking, saying a variety of, “Stop! I’m —” giggle, “gonna—” then another snort, “—die!”
Jungkook chuckles. He torments you some more before finally stopping his fingers in their ministrations.
“You deserve that.” Jungkook says when you both came down from the high, laughing at the messy state of your hair and the way you try to catch your breath like you just ran a triathlon.
You breathe in and out deeply, clutching your stomach that still hurts from laughing.
“Fuck you.” You hiss, giving him the finger.
Jungkook bursts into laughter, and from his position in between your legs, he lets himself fall on top of you.
“Jungkook, no!” Pushing him off you, you try to get away from him but the goof just forces himself beside you instead, sticking his much bigger build in between you and the back of the couch. It makes you scoot near the edge as a result, and you hold onto his arm so that you don’t fall off, tangling your leg against his own for added support. Pinching his waist in which he lets out an ingenuine “Owe!” to, you face him as you say, “You are so annoying.”
Jungkook just gives you a shit-eating grin. “Who started it?”
“You almost killed me.” You say dryly.
“Don’t be dramatic.” He rolls his eyes.
Suddenly, you realize the position you are both in.
Your bare legs are intermingled against each other, Jungkook has one arm wrapped around your waist, and from the lack of clothes on both sides, you can feel pretty much everything.
There’s a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach upon the epiphany.
Jungkook’s looking at you with a playful grin, but as he notices you staring at him, he stills. From such close proximity, you can almost trace out the lines of his features. The scar on his cheek, the mole under his lip, and the pimple scar that was probably from a week ago. At that thought, you think about: if you can see him so close like this, he can also probably see you, and that’s when you break away from the contact.
“Shit.” You hiss as you let yourself fall off the floor by rolling around, away from his hold and touch and him in general.
Jungkook immediately scoots to the edge of the sofa to look down at you with confused eyes. “The hell?”
“Don’t worry,” you wave your hand at him.
He snorts. “Did you just fall?”
You roll your eyes. Of course, he’d think that. But you let him, standing up from the floor.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”
You hear Jungkook’s boisterous laughter as you walk towards the kitchen again, stopping in front of the fridge to get some water.
“You’re going to bed now?” Asks Jungkook, following you to the fridge and mirroring your activity.
Nodding at his question, you peer from the rim of the glass as you answer, “Yeah, I don’t want to be sleeping at the hospital later.”
“Fair.”
Soon after, you both decided to clean up a bit in the kitchen and when you finished, you two headed towards the direction of your bedrooms. It’s located just near the kitchen, with the doors located beside each other.
When you turn the knob open to your own door, Jungkook calls you, catching your attention.
You arch a brow at him, waiting.
“Good night,” Jungkook says. You drop your kitted brows and smile. You’re about to greet him the same but then he adds, “Also– that was a really great cheer.”
“Ugh, Jungkook!”
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You look across the bed to see Mingyu still on his laptop on his worktable, working on something. An hour and thirty minutes have passed since you arrived at his place, but you’re still not getting the least bit of attention from him.
You get it, it’s work, but he asked you to come over
 isn’t it only fair to expect a little bit of something?
Getting up from the bed, you trudge over to his direction.
“Hi,” you say, ducking down to wrap your arms around his neck from the back of his swivel chair and kissing the spot below his ear.
“Hi,” Mingyu meets the kiss you give him on the lips. He reaches for your hands resting on top of chest and holds it there, looking at you. You delight at the hint of attention. “I’ll just be in a few minutes. You’re staying, right?”
You grin. “Of course.”
“Good.”
Rolling your eyes, you take your hands off him and stand upright once again. Mingyu rotates his chair so he can look at you with his undivided attention, voicing out a low whistle when he takes in your outfit – or lack of it thereof.
You arch a brow, knowing well he’s ogling you only in your bra and panties, squinting your eyes at him. Slowly, you glide your leg over his waist and plop yourself down on his lap, waiting for any protest from him. It doesn’t come, and so you give him a grin before planting your lips against his.
The kiss turns heated in a matter of seconds, with Mingyu squeezing over your bra and taking in your soft moans against his mouth, feeling the delicious roll of your hips against his crotch where you feel a semi growing already.  
“Sweetheart,” Mingyu grunts. When you don’t answer that, he cups your jaw, making you look at him. “__.”
“What?” You say, more like a whine, looking at him with hooded eyes. You’re starting to feel sticky in your underwear and you need him to do something about it.
“Not now, sweetheart. I told you, I’m working.”
You frown. There’s a beat of silence before you let out a sigh. “Okay.” You say, getting off his lap.
“I’ll take care of you when I’m done.” He promises, taking ahold of your wrist, looking up at you.
Pursing your lips, you look away. “It’s fine.” When Mingyu lets go, you look at the direction of the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower,” you tell him. “You’re free to join me if you want or whatever.”
You know he can’t and that he won’t.
“Alright.” Was the last thing you heard before you walked towards the bathroom door.
You’ve been over at his place too many times to count now, and you’re slowly building your shower essentials in his own bathroom. Your body wash, your face cream, your shampoo, your conditioner – even your moisturizer and your eye mask are already placed inside his bathroom cabinet.
As you step out of the shower box, all clean and fresh, you go over to the lavatory to brush your teeth. At the sight of both your cups sitting beside each other, you smile.
You look in the mirror – noting the way your lips can’t stop from curling up at the thoughts running inside your head.
Shaking them off, you grab Mingyu’s robe and put it over yourself, turning the knob around to step out of the bathroom.
You see Mingyu on his bed this time around, but his laptop’s still perched on his lap.
He looks up when he sees you. “Ready to sleep?”
You nod, feeling at home the way you automatically go towards his closet to pick out a shirt and some panties you left over the time.
As you’re in the process of dressing yourself, a phone’s ding rings in the room.
Looking at Mingyu, you watch as he checks his phone, assuming it came from him. When he puts it down, he looks at your plugged phone on the bedside table.
“What is it?” You ask, now properly dressed, walking to the bed.
You note the way Mingyu’s gaze changes as he hands you your phone.
“It’s Jungkook.” He says with a weirdly clipped tone. Then another ding comes. A beat, and then your phone rings.
Your brow shoots up, taking the device from him and checking it yourself.
Jungkook’s face is plastered over your screen – a picture of him wasted in his room two years ago, taken from your Thailand trip with the rest of your friends. He’s sleeping with his mouth open, shirtless in the middle of the hut, only covered up with his trunks. You remember setting it as his contact photo because it was funny back then. Jungkook hates the photo, and your friends always made fun of him for it.
Right now, though, it doesn’t feel the least bit funny. Not when Mingyu’s certainly saw it. Not when he looks a little put off as soon as he sees a glimpse of it when he was passing your phone to you.
“I’ll just answer this.” You say, standing from the bed again.
You don’t expect Mingyu to suddenly shoot you a question, “You can’t answer here?”
Brows knitting together, you give him an uncertain look. “It’s just Jungkook.”
“Yeah
 so, why not here?”
You relent, seeing the point he’s trying to make. Plopping yourself on the bed again, you answer Jungkook’s call and put the phone over your ear.
“Jungkook,”
“__,” he sighs out your name, sounding relieved. “Thank fuck.”
“What’s wrong?” You ask, growing a bit concerned at his tone.
You can hear some shuffling from the other line as Jungkook tells you, “Did you see me with my pager in the locker room earlier?”
“Oh, uh
 let me think
” you trail off, trying to remember the events earlier. As you do that, you notice Mingyu’s fingers trailing his hands to your bare legs, but you ignore it as you answer Jungkook, “I think I didn’t, yeah. I didn’t.” Jungkook hisses. “Did you check your car?” you ask, trying to help out.
“Already did. It’s not in there, either. I really think I accidentally threw it out in the bin along with some trash in my pockets.” He says, sounding a little distressed now.
“Well
 you can always just go to the operator, you know? Get a new pager?” you offer. There’s a drop of kiss on your shoulder that makes you shudder, and you look at Mingyu with furrowed brows. He doesn’t say anything, though, just let his fingers trail upwards, his hand sliding under your shirt, gripping your thigh. Your boyfriend just gives you a sly smile, and you squint your eyes at him, confused at what he’s playing at. 
“I know. But, ugh, you know I lost two pagers already this year. Sungkyun hates me at this point—”
Jungkook’s answer suddenly drowns out when Mingyu grazes his thumb on your clothed clit.
“Oh.”
“—what?” Jungkook halts, asking about your abrupt reaction.
You bite your lip in an effort to shut yourself up, and when Mingyu’s hand makes another move again, your free hand shoots up to stop him.
“Hold on a second, Jungkook,” you say, quickly pressing mute.
Mingyu looks at you with a smirk, playful smile painting his face. “You know you can continue, right?”
At that, your brows furrow even further.
“What are you doing?” You didn’t mean to sound curt but with the way Mingyu’s expression changes, it may have sounded that way.
You
 couldn’t help it.
“I wanted to touch you,” Mingyu tells you after a beat of awkward silence. Then, his hand retreats to himself. “Do you not want to?”
There’s guilt that springs up inside you when you see the look on his face as he says those words.
“No, I’m sorry— it’s just
 I want to. I just
 not with somebody on the phone?” You put it out like a question, unsure of yourself.
The room is quiet for awhile and suddenly there’s a thick tension that hangs in the air.
You reach out for Mingyu but then drop your hand to your sides when he moves to sit on the edge of the bed.
He turns his head to you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Is it because it’s Jungkook?”
You frown at his tone.
It sounded accusatory.
“Excuse me?” You say, taking immediate offense. When Mingyu shrugs, you feel a bit of annoyance bubble up inside you. “I would’ve still stopped you if it was anybody else on the phone, Mingyu.” you say, tone firm and leveled.
“I’m sorry, then.”
But he definitely doesn’t sound like it. His sarcasm makes you snap. “What’s up with you?”
Mingyu opens his mouth to say something but then he closes it again. You watch him with confused eyes, completely at loss of context where he’s at. The night was going fine as usual and suddenly, there’s this.
After a few seconds, Mingyu sighs. “What are you even talking about right now?” He glances at your phone.
“It’s—” you take a glance at it too. “It’s just his pager.”
“Pager?”
“Yes.”
“He asks you about his pager in the middle of the night, knowing full well you’re with me?”
“I—” you stop yourself, words suddenly getting lost in your tongue. Not because you don’t know the answer to his question, but because you hate the way he phrased it – and honestly, you’re starting to feel icky about how he’s going with it. What was he trying to do? Pin you down with accusatory notions?
You don’t fucking get it. Jungkook’s his friend. It’s so bizarre to even think about how Mingyu is seemingly acting jealous over his supposed friend.
“You know what?” You say instead, not wanting to discuss it further with him anymore. It’s just gonna lead to an unnecessary fight – and frankly, you don’t want to deal with his jealousy. It seems so
 futile. “Can we just sleep this whole thing off?”
Mingyu looks at you and for the first time, his eyes don’t look gentle. He looks at you with a bit of a frown, and you get it. You do. You’re not exactly happy, either. Not right now, with the way he’s acting.
“Do you want me to go?” You ask, ready to step out of bed.
“I didn’t tell you to.” Mingyu says, voice equally strained.
You sigh. “What do you want me to do, Mingyu? Are you jealous, is that it?” You meant it to be completely rhetorical, not at all expecting him to say anything.
But he answers instantly. “What if I say I am?”
Your lips part. You’re surprised at the confirmation, but you shake your thoughts off it.
“Then it’s completely unnecessary,” you tell him, as genuine as you can sound. When Mingyu doesn’t move in his position on the edge of the bed, you crawl towards him. Testing the waters, you touch his arm to see if he would avoid your touch, but when you do rest your hand on his shoulder, he doesn’t stray. “I like you, Gyu.”
Cocking your head to the side, you watch as his face still sports a cold expression. But he says, “I like you too, you know that,”
“But
?” you try to get out the words from him, because you knew there’s more.
“I don’t want you to think I’m being irrational about this whole thing,” he starts, and you nod your head, trying to show him that you get it. Mingyu licks his lips before he continues, “I just
 I guess I just want you to put boundaries around your friendship with Jeon.”
That makes you stop. Nevermind the strange way he called Jungkook by his surname.
“How do you mean by that?” You ask with furrowed brows.
“You’re just really close with him. And you live in one apartment together.” He points out.
“Mingyu
” you say, suddenly feeling tired all over again. “I thought we already talked about that.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent comfortable with it, you know?”
It feels like you got electrocuted by his words the way you quickly retreat your hands. “That’s
” you trail off, not really knowing what to say.
Thankfully, though, Mingyu interjects before you can slip into a dilemma.
“I know, I know about why you’re living with him and all that stuff. We talked about it. It’s just
” he reaches for your hand. Entangling your fingers together, Mingyu brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a kiss there. “I want you all the time. And I guess I really am just jealous – even though it’s juvenile. I’m jealous that he’s known you far longer than me.”
“But— I’m here thrice a week. I make time for the both of us. And it doesn’t really matter how long you’ve known me for, Gyu,” you respond truthfully.
He nods.
“I’m sorry.”
You shake your head. “No, I’m sorry. I guess I just— I got in way over my head that I also forgot to take your feelings into account,”
Mingyu smiles, and there goes his soft gentle expression again.
“I know. It’s fine. You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It’s me who’s being unreasonable.”
“No, it’s not unreasonable,” you tell him. “I get it. Boundaries, Mingyu. I know what you’re talking about.”
Mingyu scooches closer and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. You gladly bask in it, smiling against his lips, keeping your gentle gaze towards him as he breaks away.
“I’m sorry for being a bummer.”
You kiss him again and the way he inserts his tongue in your mouth distracts you a bit but you manage to break the contact. Soon, he’s lying down beside you and when you check your phone, your call with Jungkook has already ended, but there are two messages from him on your notifications.
[12:35am] jaykayđŸ€ : are you still alive [12:38am] jaykayđŸ€ : ok nevermind i’ll hang the call i actually found my pager just now 😭 [12:38am] jaykayđŸ€ : it was in the kitchen counter LOL [12:45am] jaykayđŸ€ : ok bye. night
You were going to reply but decide against it for some reason.
Putting your phone down to the bedside table, you follow Mingyu under the sheets and as usual, you face against his direction just like he does.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t really like cuddling that much. He’d share his space to a certain extent, just like how you got into his bed in the first place, but not the lengths of cuddling together in bed. Mingyu didn’t tell you why – and you don’t want to come off as clingy, so you don’t bother asking.
It’s strange, though. Now that he told you a while ago that he, apparently, “wants you all the time”. Shouldn’t he like to cuddle you in bed, then? But you don’t want to dwell in it too much, afraid that you may be digging yourself a hole if you were to keep it up.
As you lay your cheek on your folded hands, you play back the events of the night and think about how you’ve seen this film before.
When you were in med school, Eunwoo always had something to say about your friendship with Jungkook. He wasn’t direct with it, but with the way he never bothered to make friends with Jungkook or always had a grimace on his face when you mentioned him in passing, it was enough for you to conclude that Eunwoo was always
 wary of Jungkook – and definitely in a jealous type of way.
He said almost the exact same thing as Mingyu – that boundaries should be built; that Jungkook and you are too close, why is he calling you in the middle of the night to ask about mundane things, why does he know too much about your mother’s preferences, and why is he buddy-buddy with your dad who otherwise always had an uninterested expression on his face?
It wasn’t even just Mingyu. Your past flings for the past four years you’ve been single always got put off when they heard that you’re rooming with a guy – even more so when you mention that he’s your bestfriend.
You’re not stupid to not see how it looks like from the outside perspective – and you’re not dense to not ever consider the possibility of something romantic brewing within the friendship. You have thought about it before – had an instant crush on him the first time you met at the law library back in post grad school. But it was fleeting at best, especially when Eunwoo came into your life a few weeks later.
Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung have also hinted at it. Sometimes – most of the time, really, teasing you two, especially Taehyung. Even the most mature one among your friends – Yoongi – once told you both to get married at forty. He was joking, though he looked way too serious for someone who was just supposed to be joking.
And there was that one dreadful time in third year of med school when Jungkook almost kissed you.
You buried that memory in the very depths of your mind – not ever wanting to revisit it again. It was a bad time, and it was just not a good thing to look back at. Jungkook acted irresponsible, and you stupidly let yourself be complicit in it, even though you knew better.
Nothing even happened – but that memory was just that. A mere memory. You doubt Jungkook even remembers that himself.
Here’s the thing: you’ve just never seen Jungkook past the person you consider as a friend. You’ve never been weird about the women he dated – or if he dated, at all. He’s also always been supportive of your relationships
 as far as you’re concerned. Regardless of what everybody says, you both seem to agree that you’re just better off as friends. You work better that way.
Jungkook’s a good guy, though. He does have tons of flings – but he’s just conventionally attractive and works hard for a body that is to die for. Women like that. Additionally, he has a stable job and even though he annoys you about splitting the delivery fee when you do take-out, he’s actually quite rich – or, his family is – he’d always insist.
You get it though. As a co-resident, you both don’t really make that much (for the work that you do) – at least not yet.
But he was indeed born in generational wealth, coming from a family of doctors, which is why it’s quite impressive that he knows how to handle his life by his own hard work. His intelligence and perseverance are some of the things you admire about him, his drive to make a name for himself and never leeching off his family’s name. Jungkook doesn’t ever brag about how his neurosurgeon dad is one of the best in the country and how his mom is a legend in cardiac surgery – even though sometimes, he could use it a little. He’s playful yet charming; quiet when you’re just knowing him, but he’ll eventually talk a lot when you get close.
As a friend, he’s quite the best you’ve ever had.
And even though you don’t really see him past that, you know in your heart that whoever ends up with him romantically will be a very lucky person.
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“You’re a pussy.”
“Doyeon.”
Doyeon huffs, rolling her eyes so hard at Taehyung’s reprimand and then goes back to glaring at Jungkook again who just looks at her with a pathetic expression.
“What? I’m right. He’s a pussy and you’re an even bigger pussy for defending him being a pussy.” She says, furrowing her eyebrows angrily.
“Why are we talking about pussies?”
Nayeon suddenly enters the on-call room and Jungkook nearly has a heart attack.
“What the hell, you should at least knock. Jesus.” Jungkook says, clutching his chest, looking at Nayeon with an almost offended expression who closes the door behind her.
“Were you scared it was __? See!” Doyeon sighs out in frustration. “Such a fucking pussy.”
“Such a fucking pussy,” Jungkook mocks, using a higher pitch to imitate Doyeon poorly.
“And a child too.” She rolls her eyes and throws him a pillow. It misses Jungkook and hits Taehyung instead.
“Seriously, what are you so mad about today? You have that mood. Did you and your secret boyfriend fight?” Taehyung spits out.
Everybody stills in the room when Doyeon gives him a sharp glare. That pretty much makes everyone shut up, especially Taehyung who makes a show of physically zipping his mouth.
Nayeon fakes a cough and trudges towards Jungkook sitting on one of the beds. She throws her heavy hands on his shoulders, more like slaps, and then looks at Doyeon as she asks, “What are we calling this man a pussy for?”
“Oh, ask him. Or his dumber best friend.” Doyeon rolls his eyes and looks at Taehyung, crossing her arms and leaning her back on the chair she’s sitting on from across the room.
“You’re starting to hurt my feelings and I hate you.” Taehyung says from the other bed.
“Why?” Nayeon ignores their banter and furrows her brows at Jungkook curiously.
Jungkook hisses under his breath. “It’s nothing. She calls me a pussy for literally everything.”
Doyeon butts in. “Yeah, are you gonna cry?”
“If __ was here, she’s gonna be on my side, you know that?” Jungkook rebuts.
“If __ was here, you’d be panicking because she’ll know about your little secret.”
“Oof.” Taehyung comments.
“Oh, Jungkookie
” Nayeon looks down at him with worried eyes. When he looks up with a sad look, she starts rubbing his shoulders as some sort of comfort, already knowing about what this might be about. “This is about
 the thing?”
He nods weakly. “Yes. And no. Uh, well, this is
 you know about the birthday trip in the next five days, right? So, she asked me if she could bring, uh, Mingyu along.”
“Oh.” Nayeon utters, looking at Doyeon for confirmation.
Doyeon nods, and then nags, “Ask him what he said.”
Nayeon looks at him. “What did you say?”
“I said yes.”
“Oh.”
Jungkook looks down in slight shame at Nayeon’s reaction. She completely stops her hands’ ministrations on his shoulder, indicating that even she could not believe what he just did.
This makes Jungkook even feel worse.
Leaning his elbow on his thighs, he runs his fingers through his hair as he says, “I mean, how could I have said no? I would’ve looked like an asshole. Besides, Mingyu and I are college friends. There’s no reason for me to prohibit him from this trip. Like, at all.”
“Yeah, you and Mingyu are college friends but, ultimately, it’s our trip, right? __ would’ve understood if you said no.” Doyeon says, still not over her justification from a while ago.
“I know, I know. But still
 I didn’t want to say no to her.” Jungkook tells Doyeon, not having a lot to say more than that.
It’s the plain truth, anyway. He truly, simply does not want to say no to you. Not ever.
“But Jungkook
” Nayeon interrupts. “Would it be okay for you? We know how you feel about the whole – er – Mingyu thing. Can you really take them being close together? Especially on a trip for your birthday?”
Though Nayeon’s voice is soft and her gaze gentle, her words hit him like a ton of bricks.
Truthfully, he doesn’t know what to feel about the whole thing. You dating Mingyu is one thing, but you bringing him along on your trips is another. It means that he’s it.
That you’re getting serious.
He hates himself for hating the idea. Jungkook’s always wanted to be nothing but supportive of you. He’d done it perfectly well with Eunwoo before, and your flings in the past four years have never upgraded past to being solely flings so he never worried about them, but now with Mingyu
 it’s hard to pretend like it’s not killing him when you talk about how much you like him.
You have that lovestruck look on your face when Mingyu comes up in a conversation. For the first time in a while, you look genuinely happy. Jungkook always thought that your feelings for Eunwoo still lingered over the past few years – and how could it not, when you were literally engaged to him for a year? You told him one time that he may have been your greatest love
 and he fears that it might be the same with Mingyu.
Where does that exactly leave him?
“What I think doesn’t really matter. And it’s just for week.” he murmurs, but the others hear it anyway.
“An excruciating week, you mean.” Doyeon says. She stands up from her chair. “You know what, I’m over this whole thing. I’ve witnessed you pine over her for whole eight years – and I’m just – I’m moving on from this. And I have a surgery. I’m going out.”
Jungkook grimaces when Doyeon heads towards the door.
“Doyeon, don’t be mean to Jungkook. He’s trying his best, you know? The timing is just not right and—”
“What timing?”
As soon as Doyeon twisted the doorknob, pulling the door open to completely head out, you came barging in, cutting off Nayeon’s words.
Her eyes widen a little at your sudden arrival. And Jungkook scrambles to think of an effort to swerve the subject, but Taehyung beats him to it.
“__, heyyy,” he prolongs the word quite unnaturally, chuckling at the end of it for no reason. Jungkook internally notes to tell him later never dare try to save anything ever again.
That makes you furrow your brows in confusion. Directing your look to Doyeon who stopped on her tracks, you ask her instead, “What’s going on? What about Jungkook trying his best?”
Doyeon looks at Jungkook and then you. You wait, but then she just rolls her eyes – just completely done about the whole thing. Like she said earlier.
“He’s trying his best not to be a pussy – well, allegedly.” At that, she goes out of the room, ignoring your calls to pull her back in.
“Uh
 I think I have a surgery in twenty. See you guys around. Gotta scrub in.” Taehyung jumps from the other bed and Jungkook makes sure to extend his leg forward so that the older guy trips on it as he walks. “What the fuck, man.” Taehyung looks at him, offense written all over his face.
Jungkook gives him a glare. Taehyung chooses to ignore it rather than prolong it and walks past you at the door.
“Bye, fuckers.”
“Don’t call me a fucker!” Nayeon chimes in but Taehyung’s already out of the room.
“Hey, seriously! What was that?” You head towards the bed where Jungkook and Nayeon are, situating yourself on the far end of the bed to lean on the frame. You take off your sneakers in one swift move and lay your feet on Jungkook’s lap.
“It’s nothing. You know how Doyeon always bullies me
” Jungkook says, ignoring the tingling sensation that starts to creep up his spine at the way you casually initiate physical contact.
He needs to get a grip. You most probably don’t really mean anything by it.
“She does not bully you.” Nayeon rolls her eyes beside him.
“You probably deserve it.” you say, pulling out and eating some strawberry yogurt.
Nayeon laughs at your remark, but then it’s cut short when a pager suddenly beeps. Instantly, all of you take out your own and check if it was yours.
“Alright, that’s my call.”
“Bye. Good luck.” You say, offering your cup to Nayeon, but she only shakes her head. Meanwhile, Jungkook gives her a pair of thumbs up.
When Nayeon leaves the room, you nudge Jungkook with your foot.
“Hey,”
Jungkook looks at you with a brow raised.
“Can you rub my foot? Please rub my foot.” You say, making the best rendition of puppy face, extending your sock-cladded foot in his direction.
He scoffs. “Do you think I’m a pushover?”
You gasp dramatically. “I do not! I think you’re a cool person who’d totally give me foot rubs.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not a cool person who would give you foot rubs.”
You groan. “I gave you a massage weeks ago.”
“That was, like, two months ago.” Jungkook says drily.
“It counts because you didn’t do anything to repay me for my kindness.”
“Oh, you need your kindness paid back?” Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
You pout at him and then whine. “Please, just three minutes, I swear. I’ll even put up a timer.”
Indeed, Jungkook is a pushover. Pushover to your cute pout and every request. Again, he could just not find it in himself to say no to you. Not even in his wildest dreams.
But it’s never not fun to tease you before he relents. “Fine. Two minutes.” He says, pretending to begrudge the thought of giving you a foot massage, even though inside, he’s quite thrilled to be doing so.
It would be a lie to say that it isn’t one of his favorite past times in the quiet evenings of your apartment. Jungkook loves the weight of your leg on his lap, loves the way you thank him in between groans, and loves that he just gets to be close to you in almost such an intimate way.
“Your feet stink.” Jungkook decides to tease, scrunching his nose, feigning disgust.
“Don’t lie. Also, your feet stink even more, don’t try me.”
“My feet do not stink.”
“Let’s just agree to disagree,” You grin. “I’m starting a timer.” You say, grabbing your phone, pressing some stuff on it before you put it on the mattress.
“Let me see, for all I know, you set it to five instead of three.”
You look at him with widen eyes, stiffening.
“It’s three minutes.”
“Your nostrils are flaring, you’re lying.”
You groan. “Please. Dinner is on me later.”
That obviously catches Jungkook’s attention.
“You’re staying at home for the night?”
You look at him weird. “Yeah, of course. What’s with that face?”
Jungkook shakes his head, hides a small smile as he looks down to your feet on his lap and takes a hold of one. He takes off your sock for you and begins massaging the tendons of your foot, noting the way you immediately lean back and relax.
“Nothing. I just thought you’d be staying at Mingyu’s again.”
“Ah,” you nod your head. When Mingyu's name is mentioned, you visibly frown. It’s the kind of face that you make when you’re deep in thought. “I was supposed to. But I don’t know
 we fought this morning.”
Jungkook raises a brow. “You wanna talk about it?”
You shrug. “Not really. It’s a weird argument. I don’t know.”
He wants so badly to poke around and find out
 but somehow, there’s something in him that tells him not to bother.
Anyway, you’re going home tonight so that’s all that matters. Jungkook begins to think about what to eat for dinner
 he’d love to cook something, nevermind that he’s tired from his overnight shift yesterday. He also only got around four total hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and that was not even consecutive hours – just the sum. That is why he was in the on-call rooms, until Taehyung suddenly barged in, followed by Doyeon, Nayeon, and then you.
“Oh– there, that’s so good, Jungkook,” you say after a particularly hard press against the ball of your heel.
Jungkook knows better than to let his mind wander upon hearing that from you. He’s massaging you, of course that was gonna be the natural reaction.
It’s also quite pathetic to be even thinking about it in the first place – considering that your mind might most likely be weighed by yours and Mingyu’s argument – your boyfriend.
“Hey, about what I said a few days ago,” you started to speak again, breaking the momentary silence. Jungkook hums to acknowledge you. “I know you said yes to me bringing Mingyu along, but, uh, I’m not sure if he still plans to.”
“Ah,” Jungkook nods. Was the argument that bad? “Okay.”
“Yeah. He has to fly over to Arizona for something that week. Told me he may be able to arrive and join us on the second day, which is the exact date of your birthday, but honestly, I’m not sure. His sched changes a lot.”
Deep down, Jungkook wishes Mingyu just opts out of joining in altogether.
But he doesn’t have to tell you that.
“That’s a shame.” he comments, not really meaning it. He massages your other foot with ginger hands, which has you letting out soft sighs again. Jungkook buries them in the back of his head, lest his mind goes to territories that are absolutely humiliating.
“I know
” you trail off. You look like you have more to say as well, but then the door to the room opens. Again.
“Forgot my pager.” Doyeon announces, crossing the room with quick steps to reach for the forgotten thing she left on the table.
When Doyeon’s gaze falls back to the both of you, she raises a brow, and then her eyes direct their way towards Jungkook’s hands on your foot.
You’re about to say something when Doyeon rolls his eyes at Jungkook. Then, without giving you the opportunity to speak, she heads out of the room quickly, leaving Jungkook to look in another direction in quiet shame.
“What was that?” You comment, confused at what just happened.
“Eh, she’s in a sour mood today. It’s regular Doyeon.” Shrugs Jungkook, trying to swerve the subject.
You pout. “Are you two fighting again for real?”
Jungkook chuckles. “No, it’s not serious. You know how Doyeon and I get.”
You squint your eyes, but say nothing nonetheless.
Meanwhile, Jungkook hisses internally.
Jungkook gets Doyeon. You all have been friends since freshman year of med school – the founder of your study group – and she was also the first one to find out about Jungkook’s little crush. He didn’t even have to say it explicitly, she just knew. Eventually, Jungkook told Taehyung. He has quite a big mouth, unfortunately, so when you started your internship at the hospital – he lets it slip in a conversation with Nayeon who was just becoming your friend that time – leading the situation to where it is right now.
Out of all of them, though, Doyeon got it pretty hard. She’s witnessed the early stages of Jungkook’s infatuation towards you in the first semester of med school, had to keep quiet during study sessions. She was even supportive that time, telling Jungkook to just go for it – but then Eunwoo happened, and the confession never saw the light of day.
When they broke up, Doyeon became hopeful again, just as Jungkook was. But you were showing no signs of moving on and Jungkook had no choice but to step back for a bit.
The past two years, though, Doyeon became more insistent, telling him you’re single and it’s the fattest chance Jungkook can ever get.
But she’s right, after all. Jungkook’s a pussy. He hides his feelings well – a pro at the sport, really, at this point.
When Mingyu happened a few months ago, Doyeon’s just over it. She told Jungkook one time in a drinking session that the ship has sunk and he’s going to be in his sixties regretting not ever confessing to you. Sometimes, he wakes up at night in sweat from a nightmare that involved Doyeon murdering him because of his emotional constipation.
Jungkook knows she just wants the best for him – even though she’s more on showing him tough love instead of a gentle one. Doyeon’s always been like that, but she’s a good friend. When things went haywire, she was there to genuinely sympathize with him and console him – together with Taehyung and some of his other friends.
But in Jungkook’s defense, Doyeon just also doesn’t get it.
It’s so easy to just say fuck it and make a confession already, so easy to think about how things could turn positively – but she’s not – they’re not – in Jungkook’s shoes. They will never be.
So many things could go wrong if he ever were to listen to his heart. Sure, he’s had the chance over the past four years – most would say that. But it’s not a chance when you’ve spent half of it moving on from Eunwoo. It’s not a chance when you spent the other half trying to go on dates and fail – each one making you more miserable about your love life, as you told him so many nights ago in those rare special moments in the balcony of your apartment.
Those four years you were single was never a chance – not when you never showed any bit of interest.
It’s the reality that his friends always somehow miss when encouraging him to confess his feelings.
You’re friends for almost a decade now – eight years to be exact – but not once did you ever hint at wanting to be in a relationship with him. Your reaction to that always involved a disgusted expression and a variation of “No way!”. Might be a joke just to tease him – but also might be rooted in something genuine deep down.
Jungkook likes to think that physically, he doesn’t look so bad. He’s nice when he wants to be, especially towards people he cares about. He’s a resident surgeon who makes enough. Could be funny, charming
 whatever.
Most of all, he likes to think he could deserve you one of these days. That he could be the man that you’re searching for.
But it’s been eight years and you’ve never once looked at him like how he surely does at you.
God knows how many times Jungkook has tried to move on – how many sleepless nights he has trying to erase the feeling of so much longing for you. Sometimes, it works, when he’s on his casual dates and hook-up with all those women that thankfully fancied him enough. He momentarily forgets about your laugh and your hair and the crinkles on the sides of your eyes when you smile and your soft hands and your gentle voice – but it cracks when the sex is done and he’s staring at the blank ceiling of his date’s apartment, hating himself for yet again seeing your picture in his memory when he’s buried in somebody else, wishing it was you instead.
It hurts so badly. Especially when you seem to look at everybody else except him. You wanted to weed out someone for you – meanwhile, he’s just right under your nose, and yet you don’t see him. It’s at this point, when you have Mingyu as your boyfriend now, that Jungkook is starting to realize that you don’t see him not because you can’t, but because you choose not to.
Regardless, he knows you love him. Knows you care about him on a deeper level. Would probably sacrifice a bit of your time to tend to him if he needs it. But it’s the kind of love that’s not comparable to the one he has for you. Jungkook’s feelings encompass every single kind of love a human could have for another being – but you only have one kind for him. The platonic kind.
And even though it’s painful to face the reality of that very idea, Jungkook thinks that maybe
 just maybe
 Mingyu’s actually it.
Mingyu wasn’t exactly a saint the last time Jungkook saw him, but people change and the way you seem so genuinely happy these days tells Jungkook that maybe Mingyu’s another version of himself now – the better one who will never hurt you or make you cry.
Maybe this is what love’s all about. You’re content with seeing them happy, even if it’s not with you.
Jungkook thinks that as he steals a glance at you looking at your phone – most probably playing that landlord game on your phone you’ve been obsessed with the past few weeks – and you’re so beautiful like this. Even when you’re probably running on limited hours of sleep just like him.
Your hair is put up in that tulip hairclip you have a lot of, stray hairs framing some parts of your face. But he sees your features just fine – notes the way they are structured so perfectly it truly awes him that men and women didn’t beg for your attention whenever you went out in public.
Because he would. He did. He does. He always teases you for the purpose of your reaction
 because Jungkook likes it when you pay attention to him. So much that it kills him to think that maybe, that attention will die soon as you and Mingyu get closer as another week passes by.
The timer that goes off on your phone snaps Jungkook out of his thoughts, and you look at him with widened eyes.
“Don’t st–”
“It’s my turn now,” Jungkook cuts you off and gently places your legs on the mattress, bringing his own on the soft surface as well.
You jut your bottom lip out – and Jungkook feels himself wanting to give in.
“Five minutes is so quick.” You say, but nonetheless takes his shin to your lap.
Jungkook tries hard to sway the butterflies in his stomach at your touch.
“Favor for a favor, remember?” He teases, lifting one of his foot to your direction.
You pretend to gag. “I hate you.”
Jungkook laughs, quite boisterously. Because he knows you don’t mean it. I hate you basically just means I love you but you’re annoying me right now in your own little dictionary – and he always gets giddy whenever you tell him that – as weird as it may sound.
But Jungkook likes this, though.
Sure, it would be so fucking great if he could just confess and lay out his cards all at once, but the chances of you not taking it well is too big – and even though Jungkook’s usually a risk taker, he couldn’t ever risk you all over his dead body.
He can keep his hurt to himself over you feeling anything but romantic towards him – because if he confesses and you don’t feel the same way, he knows damn well that he’ll lose you completely.
And the thought makes him shudder.
That probably catches your sight, so you ask him about it.
Jungkook tells you it’s the AC.
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[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:04am ]
The beating sun feels uncomfortable on Jungkook’s skin, but there’s no way he’s wasting a day like this holed up in the villa he and his friends chipped in to rent. It costed you all a shit ton of money – might as well enjoy every waking day he gets to spend here.
It’s why he decides to goad Taehyung and Nayeon into coming with him along the shore where sun loungers are lined up to accommodate the few visitors who were also at the resort. He tried to convince Doyeon, but she goes straight to sleep as soon as the rooms were assigned.
He gets it – you all did travel by plane instead of car (because that would've taken you twelve hours) and Doyeon gets airsick whenever she rides in a plane. Jungkook also tried to talk you into it, but you said you were just going to lounge about by the pool at the villa and follow after a while.
Your “after awhile” takes about thirty minutes, and Jungkook thinks you’re missing all the fun, especially when Nayeon and Taehyung are starting to strip off their clothes to submerge themselves in the ocean.
With his loaded watergun, he goes straight back to the villa, and it doesn’t take much time to spot you by the terrace, lying down on a sun lounger with your big hat and sunglasses on, a book opened in your hands.
Unsuspecting, you let out a sudden squeal when Jungkook presses the trigger of the toy in his grip, a spring of water meeting your bare legs. Jungkook obviously tries hard to ignore that you’re wearing a flimsy pair of white bikinis. He saw you pack it two days ago
 and he remembers taking too long to move on from the image he’s conjured up in his head upon seeing it.
“Jungkook!”
He chuckles at your reaction, poorly hiding the watergun behind him. “What?”
“I’ll kill you.” You seethe, your body coming forward to sit upright, hastily taking your sunnies off so he can see the cute glare on your face.
“What are you going to do? I have this,” He points to his weapon. “Are you challenging me into a hand-to-hand combat?” Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrow.
You groan. Then, you lay back on the lounger again, opening your book, deciding to ignore him.
Jungkook can’t have that, of course. So, he walks closer to your direction, stopping beside you, effectively blocking the sun and in turn, dimming the light source of your book.
“You’re blocking my sun.” You say, looking up at him.
“You’ll get all the sun you want if you haul your ass off to the shore. Come on, we’re all swimming in there,” he tries to convince you, nudging your thigh with his knee.
You give him a pout. You sound whiny when you say, “But it’s too hot.”
“That’s why we’ll get in the water.”
“Don’t be sassy.” You roll your eyes. “I meant the water would be way too hot.”
“It’s not, Nayeon said so.”
You glance at the pool across from you. “Why can’t we all just swim in here?”
Jungkook deadpans. “Because this is a five-foot pool and absolutely no one will enjoy it.”
You frown at him, quietly telling Jungkook he’s right.
“Ugh,” you groan. “But I’ll have to reapply SPF first
” You grab the bottle of lotion that’s just placed on the small table on the side of the lounger. Then you look at him with squinted eyes, “Did you wear sunscreen?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes but nonetheless says yes, knowing how you always nag him about it whenever you guys are at the beach. It’s not even just him. It’s also with your other friends.
He watches as you rub lotion over your body, but when you get to the back, you look up at him and extend the bottle towards his way.
“Can you help me with this, please?” You say.
Jungkook automatically takes the bottle but it takes him a full five seconds to understand what you’re getting at.
You’re asking him to put sunscreen on your back. You’re very naked back that sports nothing but the tiny strings of your bikini holding your chest.
Of course, you don’t notice his dilemma. Twisting in your seat so that your back faces him, you gather your hair to the side, obviously waiting for him to do your request.
But Jungkook’s distracted behind your back. He’s distracted at how smooth it looks under the scorching sun and how easy it would be to paint it with something other than the natural color of your skin.
It’s not even the first time he’ll do this – you’ve been to trips before and putting on sunscreen over your friend is about as natural as it gets like how he would do it as well to Taehyung or even Doyeon or Nayeon if they ask to.
But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect him one bit when it comes to you.
Needless to say, his mind is pre-occupied as he sits down behind you where you left some space for him to sit, squirting the lotion into the palms of his hands, gingerly spreading it over your back once he got it.
“Be sure to cover everything,” you say, obviously not aware about Jungkook’s mental crisis behind your back.
He thinks it’s worth the crisis over though, as you’re so soft under his touch. Jungkook kneads the span of your back, squeezes your waist lightly to even out the cream, and makes sure to put it over your shoulders as well. When his hands fall, he hesitates.
“Should I – uh—”
“Yeah, just go under the strings.” You tell him before he can even finish.
There’s a lump in his throat that he swallows before he goes under the strings of your bikini top, his heart doing funny somersaults against his ribcage as he spreads the lotion over your skin. It guilts him to no end that his mind thinks about how he’s just inches away from your breasts.
He retreats his hand right away. “Done.”
You turn back to him. “Thanks. You want me to do yours?”
“Sure.”
Jungkook sits on the edge of the lounger and lets his back turn to you. He hears the cap of the lotion bottle being opened again and soon your hands are lathering the cream over the expanse of his back.
It’s embarrassing the way he lets himself savor the seconds of your every touch. Embarrassing the way his mind zeroes in on the way your soft hands caress the tendons of his back muscles. He thinks about the weight, how good this feels; your hands on him. Suddenly, there’s a zap of electricity that goes through his spine, and then he feels it.
The twitch in his dick and the blood that he feels rushing to it.
“Okay, you’re done.” You say, tapping his back twice so he can turn to you.
It snaps him out of his thoughts, but his dick is thinking about something else and as he subtly looks down, there’s already a growing semi on the crotch of his trunk shorts.
Jungkook curses himself internally, shutting his eyes close in slight frustration.
Fucking uncooperative dick.
He stands up from the chair when you nudge his back with your foot, thinking that he’d see you coming along in a few seconds. But you don’t, and as he turns his heel to look at you, you’re back in your cozy lying position on the lounger, with your book opened, just like how he saw you when he came in a while ago.
Jungkook parts his lips in disbelief, but also finding the whole thing funny.
“You minx.” He muses, playfully squinting his eyes at you upon realizing the trick you just pulled.
“Enjoy the beach, Jungkook. Send my regards to Taehyung and Nayeon.” You say, giving him a taunting flying kiss. “And thank you for reapplying my sunscreen.”
Jungkook chuckles at your remark, and just like that, he forgets about his stubborn dick, and goes over back to you, blocking your sun once again.
“You’re blocking my sun again— Jungkook!”
It’s predictable the way you hurl a series of creative curses at him as Jungkook forcefully picks you up from the chair, knocking your hat and your book on the ground as he hoists you against his shoulder, carrying you upside down like a sack of potatoes.
“Jungkook, I swear to god!” You squeal, repeatedly slapping his back as he walks to the direction of the shore, but Jungkook’s nothing but a solid muscle, firm over his hold on the back of your legs.
“Be quiet.” He says, chuckling at your sounds of opposition.
“I hate you, you’re such a prick, ugh!”
He picks up his walking pace and you scream again when you see the ocean water from your view.
Jungkook chuckles as you continue to plant your fists on his back, and when the water reaches his knees, he throws you in it.
“Fuck. You!” You say, glaring at Jungkook in the middle of his uncontrollable laughter.
“Come on, Taehyung and Nayeon are over there,” he points to the deeper part of the ocean a few feet from where you are, and when you turn your head, you see Taehyung and Nayeon with their floaties.
“Ugh
” Jungkook hears you groan before you follow behind him. When Jungkook looks back, he sees you paddling around the water like some puppy, and he snickers to himself. That earns him a splash on his way, with you rolling your eyes at him.
“Jungkook! __!” Yells Nayeon over their direction, waving her hand around. Taehyung and her are perched on the big floatie they fought over with at the villa earlier.
“Jungkook,” calls you behind him.
You’re starting to cross the deeper part of the ocean and it’s within Jungkook’s chest now. Meanwhile, your friends are still about a few feet away, so the level would definitely be on his neck by the time. You’re considerably tall, but Jungkook’s still half a head taller than you, so when he looks back at you, the water’s already reached your shoulders.
“This is way too deep!” You complain.
“Don’t be a pussy, __!” Comments Taehyung from afar.
“Fuck off,” you murmur and then beckons Jungkook to you. “Help me a bit here.”
Jungkook shakes his head, chuckling as he moves a few steps back to get to your direction.
“You big baby, you never learned how to swim, have you?” He teases, playfully clicking his tongue.
“What for?” You say when he gets near.
Jungkook feels pleased with himself about you asking for his help to cross the deeper part of the ocean, but he’s met with surprise when you heavily plant your palms on his shoulders, causing him to be out of balance and tripping over his feet under the water.
It causes a misstep and he nearly chokes as he comes back up for air again only to see you laughing your ass off. Nayeon and Taehyung are also laughing along, even from afar, and Jungkook wipes the back of his hand over his eyes to see clearly.
“That’s for throwing me in the water earlier,” you say in between your snickers and Jungkook’s just about to say something back when you suddenly wrap your hands around his neck from the back, your legs locking around his waist. “Carry me to the floatie, pretty please,” you say against his cheek in a sing-song voice.
With that, Jungkook feels your whole entire body against his back, your breasts pressing against his skin. He ignores the way the physical contact makes his body tingle, and he hopes you don’t notice his blush when he raises his arms to hold the back of your legs.
“Only because you’re annoying.” He pretends to sound annoyed, but the laugh that comes out of you at the remark makes him smile anyway.
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[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:35pm ]
Your daytime activities at the beach included jetskiing – one that knocked Taehyung off the water way too many times that he just gave up halfway through it. When Doyeon woke up a little later in the afternoon, all of you decided to get food from the dining hall and ate your hearts out at the buffet.
The day ended with all of you back in your assigned rooms again. Since you rented a two-bedroom villa, Jungkook’s rooming with Taehyung in the secondary bedroom while Nayeon, Doyeon, and you are all inside the primary one since it’s bigger.
It’s past thirty minutes to eleven in the night when somebody knocks on Jungkook’s shared bedroom with Taehyung. When Jungkook looks at him from across the room, he’s knocked out on the sofa, soft snores coming out from his mouth. Him and Jungkook decided to take turns with the bed itself throughout the whole vacation. There’s an extra cushion Taehyung could’ve laid on the floor, but he was way too tired to set it up and to even care – looks like he doesn’t really need it, though, since he looks so peaceful in his position.
Grumbling, Jungkook gets out from the sheets, scratching his bare chest and rubbing the back of his head as he walks over to the door to open it.
When he does, he’s welcomed by the sight of you in your big grey hoodie and some shorts.
“Wear something.” You say as soon as you take in his appearance.
Jungkook’s habit of going to sleep with only his boxers knows no bounds. Even when it’s below 20 degrees Celsius outside, he always opts out of his pajamas, choosing to go bare in his sheets instead. In his defense for now, the duvet is thick and it provided him with enough protection against the cold of the AC and the summer night.
“What are you doing here?” He says as he trudges back inside the room to wear a pair of sweatpants hanging from the chair.
“Rude.” You comment, following him in the room. You look at Taehyung’s passed out state in the couch. “He’s going to wake up in the evening tomorrow and miss your birthday.”
That makes Jungkook smirk, remembering Taehyung’s high energy in the morning.
“No consequences. It’s vacation week.” Jungkook raises his eyebrows. “Seriously, what brought you here? It’s almost midnight.”
You sit on the edge of the bed. That’s when Jungkook notices the black plastic you’re carrying in your hand. “It’s not that late. Let’s head out for a bit.”
He raises a brow, confused. “Where to?”
“You’re going to find out. Wear a jacket, it’s a bit cold outside.” You say as you stand up from the bed again, heading for the door.
Jungkook’s confusion just grows with passing seconds. Nonetheless, he can’t say he’s not intrigued.
Unsure, he goes for his small luggage and takes out the only hoodie he packed. It’s grey as well, matching the one you have on. Jungkook tries to shake that thought off his head as you both quietly head out of the room.
It’s late into the night and when you head out of the villa, there’s not many people hanging along the shore anymore.
“Follow me,” you tell him, and Jungkook does.
It may have been his drowsiness that kept him quiet throughout the whole walk – just quietly following along with you, your rented villa no longer in his line of sight. Jungkook couldn’t exactly pinpoint where you currently are, but this side of the beach is a bit rocky, and much, much colder. He feels it even through the thick material of his hoodie.
“We’re here.” You announce, a proud lilt to your voice. Jungkook bumps with your back when you suddenly stop on your tracks. It prompts a chuckle from you, turning back to him so Jungkook sees the crinkles on the sides of your eyes as you do so.
It makes his lips curl. “What’s this?” He curiously asks, looking around.
Your grin grows wider. “We’re gonna take those stairs and it’s gonna lead us to some pretty view.” Jungkook looks to the direction you pointed at, seeing the stairs you just referred to. Still unsure, he glances back at you. You laugh. “You remember when Doyeon and I went out for a walk earlier for a bit? We found this place.”
Jungkook nods. “I see. Thought for a second there you found a place to dispose my body at.”
You snort as you take Jungkook’s wrist to hold on to as you climb to the stairs.
“I won’t do it as such a public place.”
“So, you really are thinking about it in the first place.” Jungkook nods his head, guiding your back up the jagged stairs. You manage to get to the smoother surface and Jungkook’s quick to follow you towards the straight path of the narrow walkway.
“It’s my favorite past time, really.” You look back at him cheekily, a playful grin painting your lips. Jungkook scoffs.
The hallway is colonnaded with some flags, and there’s an edge where the concrete stops, the ocean water splashing against the big rocks beneath the broken bridge.
You set aside the black plastic you’ve been carrying around and Jungkook realizes they’re Smirnoffs. Sitting on the concrete, you let your feet hang on the edge.
“Hey, be careful,” Jungkook comments as he sees you do that. This part of the ocean isn’t necessarily far – where you were earlier when you were swimming was far deeper, but still, it could be dangerous if you make a mistake. Jungkook wonders what the designers of the beach thought about when they made this plan.
“Come on, don’t be fussy. Sit here with me.” You say, patting the space beside you.
Jungkook follows, of course, and you scoot to the side a little to give him more room.
“It’s nice, right,” You look at him, cocking your head to the side.
Jungkook feels the breeze of cool wind passing, and it’s a bit strong that it moves his fringes and yours as well. You put your hair up as usual in that big metal clip you always wear, but some strands of your hair escape and they frame your face.
With your big hoodie on and smile, Jungkook thinks you look extra cozy. He may have been hot and bothered by your bikini ensemble earlier, but now he’s bothered for another reason. He can’t stop thinking about cuddling you under the night sky full of stars at the very moment.
“Feels good.” Jungkook comments. He plants his palms on the hard surface of the concrete behind him, leaning back as he looks to your side. “You wanted to drink here?”
“Oh, yeah,” You say, twisting your body a little to pick up the plastic cellophane. You take out two bottles of Smirnoffs and offer one to him which he gladly takes. Taking a bottle opener out, you’re about to open your drinks when Jungkook offers to do it for the both of you. You don’t protest, just let him do his thing, smiling when he hands you your Smirnoff.
“This is really nice.” Jungkook sighs after he takes the first sip, looking straight ahead to the mountainous view in front of you.
You hum, seemingly enjoying the moment as well. Jungkook takes a quick glance at your side profile and then quickly looks back ahead when he feels you do the same.
“Why’d you bring me here?” He asks.
“Nothing. I couldn’t sleep, and I thought I could bring you here. So.” You shrug.
Jungkook nods.
“I’m turning thirty-one tomorrow. Or, in an hour, actually.” He says, automatically looking at his wrist but then realizing he took off his watch and left it at the bedside table. He didn’t take his phone with him either.
“I know. You’re so old now.” You tell him with a teasing tone in your words.
“Fuck off,” he snorts. “I’m only a year older than you.”
“Hmm
 still old. Imagine, you turn fifty, I would still be forty-nine.”
Jungkook laughs at that.
“Whatever makes you sleep at night, babe.” He lets the pet name slip, and he did not mean to. It just rolled off his tongue for some reason. Quite easily, too.
You don’t seem to care – or even notice – as you chuckle.
There’s a comfortable silence that hangs in the air again when Jungkook decides to break it.
“Hey, I really appreciate you for coming along. You and the gang, really. This is a really good trip so far.”
You give him a smile as you look at him. It’s one of those pretty ones that are a bit small but there’s a certain shine to your eyes and Jungkook just really loves looking at you with a smile on your face. You’re so pretty, he thinks he’s so lucky to even get the chance to look at you.
“You know we all need this trip, right? I think it’s all our first time vacationing in two years.”
He nods, chuckling to himself. It’s true. The last time was the Thailand trip and it felt like eons ago. Being a resident surgeon means less free time for leisure – and so you always make sure to spend your days off wisely. Even this trip took a lot of pre-planning to be possible just so all of your schedules would match.
“It’s crazy, though
” you say suddenly.
Jungkook cocks a brow at you. “What’s crazy?”
“That we’ve known each other for like – what? Eight years?”
Eight years and four months to be exact. Jungkook’s not keeping count – he just will never forget the exact moment he met you for the very first time.
It’s truly one of his core memories – knowing you. He remembers having to pass by the law library to meet Jimin – one of his closest friends who was studying law at the same grad school as him at the time. They were planning to eat out for lunch, but then he saw a woman at the individual study areas with a reading material that’s familiar with his. Netter’s Atlas of Human Anatomy. You wore that maroon hairclip you loved so much during first year (Jungkook remembers you losing it in the second semester and how he bought you another one in your birthday), and when you looked up from your book for awhile, taking a break from taking notes on your iPad, that was when Jungkook saw your face and he nearly falls over back then.
It’s common knowledge among your mutual friends and acquaintances that you’re pretty. It’s the first thing that Jungkook noticed about you, the reason why he harbored an instant crush. That pretty much turned into
 well – something deeper as the years passed by and he got to know you more than just your beautiful physical appearance.
He found it strange at the time to find somebody who was obviously a med student studying at the law library, but he soon found out it was because you didn’t like studying at the med lib, said you felt too much pressure being among your fellow med students. Jungkook understood that in a spiritual level, and so when you became friends, you studied a lot at the law lib, until you met Doyeon and she formed a study group. It wasn’t long before Taehyung joined the equation.
Looking back at it, Jungkook thinks it’s surreal. How knowing you led to him knowing more people that would soon be important in his life up until the age of thirty-one.
“Almost a decade.” He says, can’t help but smile at the thought.
“Right? It feels so surreal sometimes that we all knew each other at, like, twenty-three and twenty two. And now we’re in our thirties.”
“When you put it like that
” Jungkook trails off, laughing at how young you actually were eight years ago.
“Yeah, I know!” You giggle. You look ahead, then you laugh again to yourself. Jungkook looks at you in confusion, giving you a questioning look at your sudden burst of laughter. Looking at him, you shake your head, “This is a bit of a TMI, but I was twenty-two when I entered med school, so I just lost my virginity three years ago. You know what’s funny? I’ve always thought I would lose my virginity, at like, thirty. Or twenty-seven. But that was even way too early for me.”
Jungkook almost splutters at the way you casually bring it up. He takes the bottle of Smirnoff away from him and looks at you with a chuckle. “Losing your virginity at nineteen is common.”
“Well, did you? Lose yours at nineteen?” You arch a brow.
“Nope.” Jungkook shakes his head, tipping his head back to drink again.
“Younger?” You ask again.
Jungkook chuckles at your curiosity. Much to your surprise, he shakes his head again. “Nah. Junior year. I just turned twenty-one. Lost it with my first girlfriend.”
Your lips part and Jungkook meets your shocked stare, brow cocked upwards.
“You’re fucking with me.”
“What? No, I’m not.” He laughs. He gets your surprise, though. Taehyung couldn’t believe it either when it came up in a random conversation.
You still look incredulous as you say, “You mean, like you never dated until junior year of undergrad?”
Jungkook shakes his head once again. “Yes, and no
? I mean, I had a
 sort of girlfriend? Back in highschool, yeah, but it was more of like a mutual crush thing rather than an official relationship. But yeah, never dated and never had sex ‘til I found my first girlfriend in third year.”
You look at him suspiciously still, and Jungkook can’t help but laugh even more at your reaction.
“I really don’t believe you.”
“What’s so surprising about that?” Jungkook knows the answer, though. He sleeps around, and you know that. It’s probably why you can’t believe he’s only started having sex until third year of college.
You’re quiet for a bit.
“So
 you and that girlfriend broke up, and then
” you trail off, letting him finish the pieces.
Jungkook chuckles, recalling some memories that he thought were already hidden well at the back of his head.
Jiyeon. Her name was Park Jiyeon, his first girlfriend. He was the one who ended things – and not because he didn’t have feelings for her. It was the other way around.
“Yeah,” Jungkook fills in. “Didn’t date seriously after that.”
“Uh
 was it a bad break-up?” You say, and there’s hesitance in your voice. When Jungkook looks at you, you open your mouth to take your question back, probably, but Jungkook just gives you a warm smile.
“Yeah. It was bad. But I don’t really think about it now.”
You nod. “I see.” You say, looking ahead at the ocean again. “You dated
 quite seriously again in our last year of med school, though.”
“Sora?”
“Yeah.”
Jungkook nods, remembering the only one-year relationship he had. Min Sora was a fashion magazine director at the time. Jungkook liked her as she did, but they had too many differences that lead to too many arguments. Sora ended things before the relationship dragged out. Jungkook was grateful for it. They’re casual as of now
 good friends, maybe?
“I always wondered why she broke up with you.” You say quietly.
Jungkook doesn’t expect that. “You wondered about that?”
“Yeah. I mean, you seemed like you were both really into each other, so I just thought
 you know,” you shrug.
“Ah. That,” Jungkook looks afar, recalling the day when she ended things with him. It had been because of the stress that the last year of med school brought – he likes to think that. But it was also during the time when Eunwoo proposed to you and what he thought was feelings forgotten for you came back resurfacing and Sora just
 figured him out. She told him he loved you, and she’s got no spare time to compete with that. Denying it at the time was futile – Sora was smart. A wise, independent woman. She ended the relationship herself before she got deeply hurt. Jungkook has always felt sorry about how things turned out. No, he doesn’t regret the break-up – just regrets the way he hurt her – unintentionally – even though she didn’t show it.  “Just didn’t work out, I guess.”
You nod again.
Silence sits in the air.
It feels a little strange to talk about these things now. It’s not that you both never share these aspects about your lives to each other, but it’s the first time you ask him about Sora. He never really bothered to share, though, for the record.
From his periphery, he sees you taking your phone out from your pocket, then gasping.
Jungkook immediately looks at you to see what’s wrong. You show him your phone and he notes nothing of significance first before you say, “It’s 12:01 am. It’s September first!”
“Oh.”
“Happy birthday, Kook.” You say, smiling at him, and it’s an underestimation for Jungkook to say he nearly gets blinded by it. You look so gorgeous in your happy smile, so genuine, so warm, so cozy in your big grey hoodie.
Jungkook wants so bad to plant his lips on yours right then and there, but he reminds himself that he can’t do that. He reminds himself that you’re taken. That you like somebody else. The somebody else arriving tomorrow, as per your words earlier this day when he asked about Mingyu.
Still, it doesn’t stop Jungkook from mirroring your smile.
“Thank you.”
“And, before I forget,” you stuff your hands in the pocket of your hoodie and Jungkook watches as you take out a small rectangular box. As he pays you a glance, you’re a little bit shy, not looking straight into his eyes as you say, “Uh. I saw this somewhere, and I thought you’d like it.”
You extend your hand to him and Jungkook lets go of his beer to take the velvety green box from you.
He feels jittery as he takes it in, caresses the ribbon first before opening it altogether.
What’s inside surprises him.
“It didn’t cost much so don’t throw it away,” you say, uncharacteristically defensive. Jungkook can’t see your expression, but he bets your thoughts are going haywire as it takes him awhile to say anything about your gift. You always get nervous when it comes to gifts. “... and anyway, it’s not even my real gift. My real gift is a hairdryer, so I’m sure you’re gonna like that better. But it’s cute, right? You can hang it in your keyholder or something—”
“__,” Jungkook cuts you off, his eyes still on the keyring laying on the box. “You’re giving this to me?”
“Y-yeah. It’s
 uh
 cute, right? I thought it was cute.” You say, and when Jungkook looks at you, he sees the adorable way your brows furrow.
He chuckles, looking at the keyring again. It’s a silver Claddagh.
“Do you know what this means?” Jungkook asks.
“The what?”
Jungkook points to the Claddagh. “This symbol.”
You look away as you say, “No, not really. I just thought it’s a cool keychain. You told me you like keychains, but I don’t ever see you with a keychain. So.”
With your nostrils flaring a little, he knows you’re lying. You definitely know what the Claddagh symbol means.
But instead of goading you about it, Jungkook takes the keyring out of the box and hangs it over his finger, admiring the item.
“Thank you. This is really cute, and I love it.” Jungkook tells you, giving you a soft smile.
You stare at him and then cave into a smile of your own. “I’m glad you do.”
Jungkook looks at the Claddagh again and smiles heartily.
His heart aches with so much yearning and longing when you go back to the villa that night, spending about three minutes staring at the Claddagh you gifted him that he immediately hangs in his key holder. Jungkook thinks he’s going to transfer it to his work bag or the back of his rearview mirror, but his keyholder would do for now.
You love him alright, certainly not the way he does, but it’s enough for him.
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[ DAY 2 | September 1st, 11:55pm ]
It was not a secret among Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung that Jungkook’s mood considerably plummeted down as soon as Mingyu called you early in the morning that he’d be landing in the afternoon.
Afternoon came, and he tried to suck it up like a grown man – and because as far as you know, they’re both friends. And Mingyu’s your boyfriend. He should be nothing but supportive.
But it was especially hard when you gushed about being excited that he was finally here. It’s been four months since you started seeing each other, two months since you officially dated, but somehow, Jungkook still could not process it.
He knows he’s being unfair. To you and to himself. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the feeling of ugly bitterness that sat in his heart as you told him about how Mingyu rented another villa so you both could room together, effectively taking you away from the rest of your friends.
Of course, you all spent his birthday together – doing tons of water activities in the ocean, eating at the dining hall, and roaming around for some more leisure time, but Jungkook could not help but think that ever since Mingyu’s arrived, you’ve been sticking with him, even taking the time away from the gang to show your boyfriend around the resort.
Even at the villa’s porch where all of you took out your foldable chairs to drink outside, you were with Mingyu, perched on his lap, laughing at the jokes getting thrown around in the circle.
He tried not to look too much at how Mingyu comfortably wrapped one arm around your waist while the other held a drink, how you leaned into his touch, and how easily he blended with the group with his charm.
“Where’d you get the ice cream?” Doyeon asked as Taehyung sat down on his chair with a small bowl of the sweet treat.
“Fridge. Nayeon and I bought it earlier.”
“There’s ice cream?” Mingyu asked, in which Taehyung nodded to. He turned to you. “Do you want it?”
Jungkook’s brows furrowed in confusion. “__’s lactose intolerant.” He noticed everybody suddenly looking at him. Feeling cornered, he drank from his beer to avoid their gazes.
Mingyu, obviously surprised by the declaration, glanced back at you. “Baby, you didn’t tell me that?”
You winced. “It’s not really a big deal.” you waved him off and when you laugh.
“Yeah, she’s stubborn about it. She can inhale five cones in one sitting.” Taehyung said which made everybody laugh. Jungkook knew it was to lighten the mood. So, he laughed as well, even though from his periphery, he could see you giving him daggers through your eyes.
Jungkook doesn’t know why you had to pretend it wasn’t a big deal. Sure, Taehyung’s right about you not taking your lactose intolerance seriously sometimes, but you’ve also gotten into a lot of trouble because of it, hence why you’ve been making conscious efforts to not eat dairy.
The whole day leaves a sour impression on him with Mingyu around. Quite a shame, really, since he started his birthday so well with you taking him to the far-end of the beach to drink and give him a Claddagh.
When the night becomes much darker, Jungkook sits on the terrace near the pool all by himself. Everybody’s fast asleep at this point. He doesn’t know about you, though, ‘cause you’ve probably transferred all your stuff to the other villa Mingyu rented around.
“Hey,”
Jungkook looks at the embodied voice that suddenly calls. He sees it’s Doyeon.
“Hey,” Jungkook smiles, taking the other bottle of beer on the coffee table and offering it to her.
She waves his hand. “Nah, I’ve had enough for the whole day.” Doyeon situates herself on the folding chair next to Jungkook.
Jungkook nods, looking straight ahead to the pool. They sit in comfortable silence for a while until Doyeon speaks.
“Hey, I’m sorry for the last week,”
Jungkook glances at her with a small smile. “What for?”
“For calling you a pussy. And just
 being harsh. Had a tough week and your emotional constipation just pissed me off more. You’re still a pussy, but I shouldn’t have rubbed it off your face.” She says.
Jungkook stares at her with parted lips.
“Wow. I don’t know if that’s an actual apology.”
“It’s an apology with a hundred percent realness, you know I don’t baby anybody.”
“Hah,” Jungkook scoffs, amused. “Yeah. Well, you’re right, though. Today’s been
”
Doyeon sighs. “It’s hard on you, right?”
Jungkook can only give her a meaningful smile.
“But you don’t exactly have the right to get jealous
 she’s not your girlfriend and you two are not anything,” Doyeon says, and it tugs at Jungkook’s heartstrings. Meanwhile, she looks ahead and continues to speak. “It’s hard when you have all these feelings for someone, but you have to hide it. You just want to show everybody they mean so much to you, but you can’t. It sucks.”
Jungkook thinks she’s still talking about his situation with you but then as he glances at her, she seems to be deep in thought. As if she’s actually speaking from her own experience.
He’s intrigued by that, of course.
“Woah, are you still talking about me?”
That seems to get Doyeon out of her trance.
She rolls his eyes. “Who else would I be talking about?”
Jungkook opens his mouth to say something. You guys have always had the theory that Doyeon has a secret boyfriend. It’s silly at best but sometimes, he thinks it’s true. Doyeon has never been the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, though. She’s tough and she’s frank a lot of times. But she’s the kind of friend who’d call you a bitch in your face but then would go to all the lengths to defend you from everybody.
“Okay.” Jungkook nods, dropping the subject.
“Has she told you yet?” Doyeon asks suddenly.
“What?” He mirrors back, knowing exactly who the she Doyeon’s referring to.
“She’s planning to move in with him some of these days.”
“I
” Jungkook stops, his mouth opening and closing like a fish in water. To say that he’s stunned is an understatement. Obviously, you haven’t told him anything.
“You don’t know.” Doyeon says upon realization.
Jungkook shakes his head. “She didn’t tell me.”
Doyeon lets out a loud sigh. “It’s not really set in stone, though, that’s what she said. But they’re discussing it.”
“Ah.” Jungkook nods and looks ahead at the pool. Another beat of silence, a sip of beer, and then he scoffs. “I really should’ve confessed even way back then, huh?” He laughs but there’s no humor in it.
Doyeon stares at him. “I didn’t tell you about that so you can regret not telling your feelings for her earlier.”
“I didn’t—”
“I told you that so you can move on, Jungkook.”
Jungkook closes his mouth shut.
She looks away. “You remember the time I liked you in med school?”
“Doyeon
” Jungkook’s lips part, not at all expecting for her to bring that up. It’s been so long ago and ever since
 Doyeon’s confession, they never really talked about it again.
“Oh my god, look at your face,” She laughs. “God, do you think I still like you? I moved on the day after you rejected me.”
“I didn’t reject you.” Jungkook defensively says.
She rolls her eyes. “I asked you if you were interested and you didn’t say anything. You just looked at me like this,” Doyeon stiffens her body and widens her eyes in a comical rendition of Jungkook’s famous OJO face.
Jungkook can’t help but scoff. “That was the strangest confession that happened to me, though. You told me you liked me in the straightest face ever, I still think it was a cruel prank of some sort.”
Doyeon bursts into laughter, and Jungkook follows along, recalling that time.
“Yeah
 that was funny. But
 it was real, not a prank at all. I don’t remember why I liked you, though.”
Jungkook looks at her incredulously. “Okay, but that’s actually the most hurtful thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Don’t take it personally,” Doyeon rolls her eyes, but there’s a smile on her lips still. “Anyway, I brought it up because that was the same day when I realized you like __. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I confirmed it around the time.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “Was really surprised when you told me that. I thought I hid it pretty well.”
“Yeah, but not to me. You know, I don’t even know how __ didn’t figure it out herself. You’d always follow her around and in our study sessions, you always stayed up late with her and was overly attentive. Whenever Taehyung asked you too much, you sort of like reached a point where you just told him to suck it up. But if it was __, you were so patient,” Doyeon giggles. “She had a really hard time with Biochem. I remember you tutoring her all the time.”
“That was
” Jungkook bows his head down, a bit embarrassed at being read like that. “She cried a lot during first year.”
Doyeon purses her lips. “Yeah
”
Both stare ahead again, with nothing to say for a few more seconds. Jungkook continues to sip his bear while Doyeon quietly sits.
“I have this biased notion about Mingyu,” Doyeon speaks up. Jungkook looks at her she continues, “I keep on telling myself, he’s probably gonna fuck up anytime soon – and that’s because deep inside, I still want you and __ together. You know I’ve always wanted you both to be together. It’s hard to see __ struggling with her love life. She almost failed the internship when Eunwoo broke up with her, and I don’t want her to go through that again as her friend. It’s hard, because I can’t do anything about it. I think of you, and how much you love her, and I think you’re good for her
 but at the same time, I feel bad for thinking that. Because I can see that Mingyu makes her happy. It’s different with the other guys she dated before him. She’s truly happy with him, and I find it hard to think that Mingyu’s gonna break her heart. He seems
 nice
 and that he’d be good for her, you know what I mean?”
Jungkook’s quiet, processing her words.
Doyeon sighs before she speaks again. “But that hurts you in the process, doesn’t it? Seeing her happy but not with you. You’re both my friends and I’m in the position where it’s hard for me to situate myself in a certain place. Because I want __ to be happy, but I also want you to be happy – but your happiness is interconnected and it’s
 tricky. It’s a tricky situation.”
Jungkook doesn’t realize that he’s gripping the neck of the bottle quite tightly at Doyeon’s words, but he listens.
“I don’t normally say things like this, Jungkook, but I’m your friend so I’m just gonna let this go,” Doyeon finally looks at him, and he meets her gaze. ïżœïżœIt hurts me to see you hurting like this. It hurts Taehyung and Nayeon as well, but they won’t say it. Just
 just be
 just be okay, please?”
Jungkook exhales a sharp, shaky breath.
He knows what Doyeon meant by that. She’s asking him to
 find happiness on his own. Happiness that doesn’t lie on __’s reciprocity because with the way things are going, that’s impossible. She’s planning to move in with Mingyu, and most of all, she seems genuinely happy.
“I
 I know. Thank you.” Jungkook says, not really knowing what to say.
Doyeon chuckles. “Do you want a hug?”
He looks at her with a smile. “I could use one right now, yeah.”
Doyeon laughs before standing up and going over to where Jungkook sits on his own sun chair. When she steps in front of him, Jungkook wraps his arms around her waist and lets himself rest the side of his head on her stomach, closing his eyes when Doyeon pats the crown of his head.
“Belated happy birthday, Jungkook.”
Jungkook chuckles. “Thanks. You’re unusually mushy today.”
Doyeon pinches his ear slightly which earns her a groan.
The two stay like that for a few more seconds when suddenly, Jungkook hears a familiar voice.
“Oh, h-hey guys,”
Jungkook immediately looks ahead to see you standing from the other side of the terrace, looking at him and Doyeon. At that, Doyeon lets go of him, twisting her body to look in your direction. Jungkook retreats his arms back to his side and smiles to acknowledge you.
“I thought you were sleeping already.” He says.
“Yeah, what brought you here?” Doyeon asks.
You approach them with unusually slow steps, as if reluctant. “Left my wallet here. Just realized it a while ago,” you say. After that, you stop on your tracks. Your gaze falls between them with an unsure smile on your face. “You two drinking?”
“Nah, Jungkook is.” Doyeon says, pointing to the bottle of Smirnoffs on the small table beside Jungkook’s chair. Then, she looks under her own. “Where’d you leave your wallet?”
“Over my chair earlier.” You give her a smile again. But somehow, it looks a bit awkward. A little forced. Jungkook knows you well enough to identify your smiles.
And as he looks at you longer, he realizes you have a certain color on your face, but it’s one of those expressions he can’t read.
“Well,” you blurt out after a beat of silence. Looking around, you go over to where you were sitting earlier then duck. “I think I left it here
” you trail off. Jungkook’s just about to stand up to help as well when you suddenly pull up a brown leather, grinning at both of them. “Yay.”
Jungkook chuckles. “That would’ve been the third wallet you’ll lose this year.”
You mirror his laughter, and Doyeon joins in.
There’s another pause and then hesitantly, you ask, “Did I
 uh
 disturb something? Or
”
“What?” Doyeon asks with furrowed brows. “No,”
“Ah, okay,” you smile at her and then insert your wallet in your shorts. “Anyway, I’m heading back to Mingyu. The villa he rented is just at the back of ours, so
 feel free to visit anytime or whatever.”
“Sure.” Jungkook says. He didn’t mean it to sound clipped and short but he must have unintentionally let the tone slip, as you and Doyeon immediately give him a look. He clears his throat. “I mean, of course. Tomorrow?”
You nod.
You look at him. And then, you point between him and Nayeon. “Are you two staying up here late?”
“Nah, I’m heading to bed actually.” Doyeon says, picking up her phone from the sun lounger.
“Yeah, me too.” Jungkook puts the beer to the coffee table and stands up.
You nod. “Okay, then. Well, good night to you two.”
“Alright, good night. I’ll head out first.” Doyeon says before disappearing into the sliding door that leads straight to the villa’s living room.
You soon turn your heels back to head out as well, but Jungkook calls after you. Turning around, you hum, acknowledging him. “Hm?”
“Good night, stinky.”
You deadpan. “Night, fucker.”
Jungkook laughs, watching your retreating back as you leave.
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[ DAY 4 | September 3rd , 3:05 am ]
Jungkook likes to work out when he has a lot in his mind. But sometimes, he opts for jogging or walking around to clear his head.
With the turn of events since Mingyu’s arrival and Doyeon informing him about your plans on furthering your relationship with Mingyu, he finds himself along by the shore at three am with high hopes to clear his mind. It doesn’t give the solution, but it temporarily does the job.
Inserting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, he looks ahead at the view of the ocean, trying so hard to shut his head down with overbearing thoughts of you. It’s no use, though, it’s always filled with thoughts of you and you alone.
Jungkook thinks about the time in med school when he thought he was completely over you. It had been after you made it official with Eunwoo two months into seeing him. He thought it would be a “bigger person” thing to do, moving on, that is, after you announced that you got a boyfriend – but then later on, when he slept with other women or had his casual dates, you suddenly popped up in his head randomly, and his heart suddenly ached when Eunwoo would drop by the university to fetch you. He felt ugly bitterness when you smiled too much whenever Eunwoo was brought up in the conversation. He found himself wishing it was him instead – the guy you thought of buying shirts for, the guy you randomly thought of when you saw something at the mall or the park, or the guy you called when you needed anything.
It was that spring break in second year when he realized that he loved you, after trying hard to brush his feelings off for you as a mere infatuation because you were gorgeous and smart.
He finds himself thinking about the time when he almost let out his heart when you had a fall-out with Eunwoo during your third year. Thinks about how pathetic he was for thinking that he finally had the chance. It had been when you called him at midnight, crying onto the phone as you asked him if he wasn’t busy. Jungkook had been studying for a Clinical Skill Assessment at that time, but he’d have been a fool to make you feel lonely when you already seemed like you were not fine. So, he had set aside his studying that night and went right over to your place. You told him about how Eunwoo was going cold, how Eunwoo was getting too close to the senior architect at his firm which you’d been having huge arguments about during those days – Jungkook remembered feeling broken at the sight of you crying, could feel himself building up hatred for the guy who was fucking up his chance with the woman he did not deserve. He thought about how he would never do that to you, thought about how he could be better for you – the envy bubbling inside his heart too big to ignore.
Jungkook remembered thinking how he would never fuck up any chances with you, and how Eunwoo was a fucking idiot for even making you feel that way.
That night, he almost kissed you. And the day after that, you avoided him like the plague.
Doyeon told him he was just as much of a big fucking idiot as Eunwoo for doing that. And Jungkook remembered regretting that night, and swearing off to never, ever make a move on you ever again because your avoidance of him made him feel like the biggest fucking piece of shit to ever exist on Earth.
He remembers you didn’t talk to him for about a month. And he remembers fearing that that was finally it.  
Of course, you made up – you’re still in his life. You let him still be in your life even though he betrayed your trust. The trust that lies on the fact that he was your best friend. Someone who was not supposed to take advantage of your vulnerability, someone who did not suddenly try to kiss you when you were at your worst.
It was a memory you two weren’t fond of. Heck, you’ve never ever brought it up not even once since it happened. When you finally talked to him again after that, you did not let him apologize for what he did – just shut him down by saying that you two should just forget about it and never mention it again. You made it clear that you did not want to talk about it – not at all, not in a million years.
Again, Jungkook has had a million attempts to move on. Especially when you got back together with Eunwoo. He did temporarily, when Sora came into the picture. He genuinely did like her, even more than his first girlfriend in college, and he thought he could eventually love her the same way he does you, but Eunwoo suddenly proposed
 and his defense came crumbling down. The fear of losing you once again was too overwhelming that he ruined the relationship with Sora because admittedly, he had always been pathetic like that.
Even now that you’re with Mingyu, he’s still pathetic. He still thinks that one day, you can finally look at him. Like, really look at him and feel anything but friendly towards him. It’s extremely pathetic that he keeps on telling himself that your friendship will be enough, but then deep down, it’s not.
Jungkook shuts his eyes close when he feels the cool breeze of the wind hitting his skin under the hoodie. He lets himself stand there for a while, just trying to bask in the surroundings, ignoring the heavy feeling that sits in his heart.
But then he smells a sudden waft of smoke, and he knits his brows as he opens his eyes back again, turning to the direction of the smell.
When he turns back, he sees a familiar figure of a man.
“Mingyu?”
Mingyu glances back at him with the same surprised look on his face, but it disappears just as quickly. Pinching the cigarette between his fingers, he blows smoke in the air and inserts one hand in his shorts.
“Jeon.”
“Still Jeon to you, huh?” Jungkook sneers, walking over to where Mingyu is. “Why are you here?”
Mingyu arches a brow. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Woke up a few minutes ago and couldn’t get back to sleep.”
Taking a hit of his cigarette again, Mingyu shakes his head. “That’s tough.”
“Same with you?” Jungkook asks.
“Nah. Had a discussion with my girlfriend. Just wanted to clear my head.”
Jungkook nods, not saying anything to that. It’s weird that you’ve been fighting a lot lately. He wonders if you’re okay.
Pulling out a pack of Marlboro and a lighter, Mingyu extends them to Jungkook.
He looks down at it and thinks about how this exact thing happened in college. Mingyu always had the pack of cigarettes and the link to the best weed man in college. He used to think they would be fond memories.
But Jungkook shakes his head, looking ahead.
“I quit years ago.” He says. And it is true. He wasn’t much of a smoker and only did it occasionally when he was extremely stressed, but it took him awhile to stop the habit completely, only dropping the cigarettes during second year of med school. Jungkook would say it was due to his own concern about his health – but there was an incident in the same year where you caught him smoking at the uni’s park after a particularly taxing exam, and how you did not hesitate to tell him that you hated – absolutely abhorred – smokers. You said you didn’t care if he smoked, but as a med student he should’ve known better.
He never touched that shit again.
“Changing your ways now?” Mingyu says with a teasing – more like mocking – tone, inserting the pack and lighter back in his pants.
Jungkook shrugs at that, which earns him a scoff from Mingyu.
“Do you smoke around her?” Jungkook suddenly asks.
“Who?”
“__.”
A beat of silence. And then Mingyu laughs.
“No. She doesn’t know I smoke. She doesn’t have to.”
Good. Jungkook thinks. Good that he doesn’t smoke around her. But what did he mean by saying she doesn’t need to know?
“She doesn’t like smokers, you know.” Jungkook tells him.
From his periphery, Jungkook sees Mingyu glancing at him. It takes a while for him to say something.
“You’d know that, huh?”
The dip in his tone makes Jungkook meet his gaze. Suddenly, the smirk on Mingyu’s face is gone, and there’s something behind his eyes that he can’t quite put a finger on.
Jungkook tries to ignore that. “I’ve known her for a long time. The others can also tell you that.” He says, referring to the rest of your friends on the trip.
“You think I don’t know?”
With furrowed brows and growing confusion, Jungkook stares at Mingyu.
“What?”
“That you like my girlfriend.” Mingyu spits the words out like venom in his mouth, but it’s in a way that tells him it’s been sitting with him for far too long. Jungkook’s surprised at the declaration, feels himself being taken aback by the blunt way he said it as if he’s so sure.
But Jungkook doubles down, to Mingyu’s surprise.
“So?”
That obviously wasn’t the answer the other man wanted to hear. So, what? He can dish it, but he can’t take it?
“You’re goddamn pathetic, then.” Mingyu says after awhile, taking a hit on his cigarette again.
It itches the bubbling anger Jungkook has had for him for the past ten years.
“I like __, and I’m not gonna deny that to you,” Jungkook faces him. “But you don’t have to worry about that, because unlike you, I have enough self-respect to not sleep with my friend’s girlfriend.”
It’s another response that Mingyu does not expect. Jungkook also did not mean to let that out. But his tongue glided with the words and he couldn’t help it. Suddenly, memories of junior year in undergrad comes back flashing to him; Jiyeon and Mingyu, fucking in his goddamn bed, his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend.
Jungkook’s already moved on from that. Jiyeon was not a loss, even though she was his first girlfriend – heck, first love even, but she cheated on him. And not just with anybody but his best friend at the time. The worst thing was that Mingyu was completely in on it, and Jungkook doesn’t think he ever felt remorse about what happened back then. Mingyu gave him a half-assed apology the day he walked in on them, even had the gall to “explain” Jiyeon’s side, that apparently, she just wasn’t “feeling it” with Jungkook anymore, and that Mingyu and her had been hitting it off. Jungkook realized it was why Mingyu suddenly came over way too often over at his apartment.
It’s exactly why he never bothered to meet with Mingyu after graduation. Why he was not enthusiastic meeting him at the engagement party.
But that happened so many years ago that he thought Mingyu’s changed. He didn’t want to burst your bubble and tell you what happened between them back then because he’d be the one to ruin the happiness you’ve wished for all these years.
“I see you’re still hung up on that.” Mingyu says after a while. He throws the cigarette away and steps on it with his heel.
Jungkook’s jaw ticks in what he feels is growing rage. “I’ve moved on. I’m just letting you know that even though I like __, I’m never doing what you did back then.”
“You’re such good guy, then?”
“If not cheating makes me a good guy, then maybe I am.” Jungkook shrugs.
“Jiyeon was a bitch. She was never gonna be good for you.” Mingyu suddenly says.
It makes Jungkook seethe. “And so you fucked her?”
“She liked me better than you. Women always liked me more, that’s why I was going through them while your goody-two shoes virgin prude ass was daydreaming about dating to marry.  You remember that, right?” Mingyu looks at him with a mocking stare. “And Jiyeon was smoking hot. She offered, I just delivered. Said you couldn’t make her cum properly. We could have shared her, you know?”
“Fuck you.” Jungkook spits out. He feels enraged and pissed and disgusted all at the same time.
“Are you getting mad?” Mingyu levels him with an infuriating smirk. “You always got a stick up in your ass, Jeon. Kyungmi told me you’re just a regular playboy these days, said it was the effect of your first girlfriend cheating on you. Right now, though, is that just a front to hide your feelings from my girlfriend? A pathetic boy best friend just wanting to be noticed by his hot girl best friend? You play that role so well. Telling me she’s lactose intolerant, she doesn’t like smokers
 you want to fuck her so bad it’s laughable because you know you can’t.”
“Don’t
 fucking talk about her like that.” Jungkook growls, and he feels blood rushing through his veins.
Mingyu shakes his head. “You know what I thought when I first met her? I was completely interested right away, but when you showed up
” He chuckles in the way that makes Jungkook’s skin prickle. “It just made me want her more.”
“You’re fucked in the head.”
“This fucked in the head guy got the girl you want wanting to commit to him. I don’t know if she told you, but we’re moving in together.”
Jungkook pokes his tongue to his cheek. “You think I won’t tell her about this?”
“You think she’s gonna believe you?” Mingyu fires back. Jungkook closes his mouth, doesn’t really know if he’s confident enough to say yes. That earns him an arrogant smirk from Mingyu. “That’s right, she won’t. I have no doubt she’s gonna choose me over you. Jiyeon has had before. And if you’re gonna fight the same battle again this time, you’ll lose.”
Jungkook regulates his breathing hearing his words. He’s starting to not see clearly, his fist clenching on his side and he knows better than to resort to violence, but Mingyu’s testing his patience.
He’s completely wrong for thinking that he isn’t the same asshole he was back in college. He’s completely wrong for not telling you about him sooner. He’s completely wrong about everything.
Glancing at his hand, Mingyu looks him in the eyes, leaning forward. “You wanna hit me just like how you did back then? You almost fucking killed me when you gave me that head injury that kicked me out of the fucking team.”
The head injury. That fucking head injury. Jungkook was so mad when he found out that he just saw pure red. It wasn’t his best moment – he knows. He lost control and just
 went for it. He still regrets doing it – not punching Mingyu – but for losing it when he could’ve shown him that he’d always be the bigger person between them both.
He’s quiet and Mingyu takes that as a win. Scoffing, Mingyu says, “I could’ve reported you to the admin and you could’ve been expelled, and if that happened, you couldn’t have gone to med. You are where you are right now because of me, so don’t fucking show that animosity towards me because you fucking owe me one.”
Jungkook can’t help but laugh. But he does so humorlessly. “You really think that?” He stares at the other guy. “You’re just as delusional as you were back then, Gyu. You think everybody liked you – but that was just because you were a touch-deprived loser who would fuck anything that breathed near him, and I wasn’t. I only entertained women I liked. You thought you were smarter, but I was always the one who got the better and higher grades, even though you studied way harder. Is that why you went with law? So you won’t have to compete with me in the med field? I also know you were pissed as fuck when the captain title was passed on to me instead of you,” Jungkook leans closer as well. “You’ve always thought of yourself so highly, but deep down, you were just an insecure little boy trying to compete with another guy that didn’t even see you as competition because you were that irrelevant.”
Mingyu, in his own fir of rage, grabs Jungkook’s collar, but Jungkook stays in his place, face stoic as Mingyu snarls, “You keep running your mouth while you cry yourself to sleep because those don’t mean anything when I’m the one fucking the love of your life,” Jungkook visibly recoils to that, and when Mingyu notices, he smirks, adding, “Yeah, yeah, you wanna know how __ is in bed? Because you’ll never see her sopping wet when you give her cock. That angelic face of hers
 you’ll never know she’s a slut the way that filthy mouth asks me to fuck her harder because I am that goo—”
He wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Jungkook’s heavy fist suddenly lands on his cheek.
That effectively gets Mingyu to let go of Jungkook’s collar as he loses his balance and steps backwards limply, thumbing the side of his mouth only to see blood.
Whisking away his fist, Jungkook looks at Mingyu with fire in his eyes and venom in his voice when he says, “Don’t you ever fucking dare talk about her like that, you fucking piece of shit.”
The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a silvery white glow over the beach, but the comforting sound of waves and the calm of the surrounding is a contrast to the rising tension between Jungkook and Mingyu.
When Mingyu doesn’t say anything, Jungkook turns on his heel, ready to leave, but suddenly, he feels the back of his shirt getting pulled and being met with a fist right on his cheek, close to his nose. He barely dodges the hit, taken aback by the unexpected attack.
“Fuck you.” Mingyu grits, eyes blazing.
With that, the fight intensifies, with Jungkook throwing a quick jab back. Mingyu retaliates with as much fury, the two of them grappling, their bodies colliding with violent force. Soon, the sound of their grunts and the occasional crash of a punch against flesh is drowned out by the crashing waves.
And then a familiar voice calls their names.
“Jungkook! Mingyu!”
“Oh my god!”
Jungkook’s suddenly being taken away by somebody by his arms, and he realizes it’s Taehyung when he speaks up again once he and Mingyu are off each other.
“What the fuck are you two doing?” Taehyung asks incredulously, rightfully shocked at what he’s seen. Jungkook forces his way out of Taehyung’s hold in frustration, wiping the side of his mouth. Mingyu’s on the other side a few inches away being hesitantly held down by Nayeon, who looks at all of them with deep worry in her eyes. Turning to her, Taehyung says, “Call Doyeon and __. They’re sleeping in the same room together at the villa.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Jungkook says, glaring at Taehyung.
He looks at him angrily. “You’re fistfighting with somebody at fuck o’clock in the morning. We’re going to get run off by the police, be thankful we saw you.”
“I-I’ll call Doyeon and __.” Nayeon stutters, reluctantly pulling away from Mingyu and going to the direction of the villas.
When she leaves, Taehyung looks between the two beaten up men, not believing their busted faces. Rubbing his own with his hands in frustration, he looks back at them again, saying, “What the fuck happened to you guys? Why were you fighting?”
“It’s none of your business.” Mingyu says.
Taehyung glances at him with irritation. “None of my business? Fuck off, Kim Mingyu. You joined in on this trip. Everything that happens here is quite literally each other’s business.”
“Tae.”
“I can’t believe you guys,” Taehyung shakes his head, ignoring Jungkook. “Fighting like goddamn immature teenagers
 are you not embarrassed?”
Looking away, Jungkook decides to sit on the sand and let Taehyung’s words go from one ear to another. His energy is waning and the rage he had a while ago is just simmering down to
 nothing. He feels absolutely empty.
“Jungkook?” He doesn’t realize the steps that were coming towards them were you and Doyeon. It’s obvious that you’ve both been sleeping, still in your pajamas as you rush towards their direction. He looks at you when you call his name, but then suddenly, you turn to Mingyu. “Ming— what happened?”
Jungkook feels his heart break when you come towards Mingyu’s direction first. He knows why you did. He’s your boyfriend, of course you are going to tend to him first.
Suddenly, he remembers what Mingyu said. About you choosing him over Jungkook.
Jungkook didn’t doubt that, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt a little to see it fully realized.
“Jungkook– Jesus Christ,” Doyeon comes over to him and quickly checks his head. With knitted brows, she casts him a look.
“I’m fine.”
She’s about to say something, but then she closes her mouth and then glances at you.
Sighing, she turns to everyone and announces, “Look, let’s just get them back to the villa. Treat their wounds before they get infected.”
“Right.” Taehyung says and then comes over to Jungkook to help Doyeon guide him in walking. He relents first because he doesn’t need their assistance, but Taehyung looks at him and he knows he’s pissed. So, he lets them.
As he tries to subtly look over to where you were, you have your arm around Mingyu’s waist while Nayeon helps guide him as well.
It takes a tedious few minutes to get back to the villa where Doyeon and Taehyung decide to take care of him in his room while Nayeon and you tend to Mingyu back in your room.
Doyeon nor Taehyung doesn’t say anything the whole time. Just let the silence fall in the room as they clean his wounds and put bandages around the cuts on his face and treat his busted lip.
He knows they’ll talk to him in the next few hours. It’s inevitable. But at least they’re sparing him for tonight – or today, since it’s almost four am.
Jungkook regrets not seeing the sunrise.
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angelsforthenight · 2 months ago
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screen babe, mean babe, guess who’s gonna cream babe! (pt. 4)
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camgirl!vi x reader (pt 1, pt 2, pt 3)
summary: days are going by too quickly and fickle feelings blossom between you and vi. you make the most of each day with her, but when a certain someone comes back and places a hard choice on you, decisions will have to be made.
PRE A/N: hi lovelies,, even though i really really love when u guys send me messages and express how much u love my work (i adore it sm pls keep doing so) pls don’t ask me when i will update a chapter because i can never tell you a specific time and it stresses me out .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·. believe it or not it takes a lot to write a series fanfic and i’ve already got a lot on my plate with work and school so pls acknowledge that ;; ANYWAYS I HOPE U ENJOY AND I LOB U GUYS
content (18+): lots of smut, situationship, tribbing, sub!vi, brat!vi, dirty talk, begging, risky sex, sort foot fetish but i don’t wanna call it that 😭🙏, very faint angst, lots of fluff too!!! crushing & yearning, dbf!sevika feature, we get a bit of vi’s pov, cliffhanger at the end :p
“you’re never gonna forget about me, are you?”
your legs are currently slotted in between vi’s, sticky not only from the film of sweat coated over your bodies, but also the undeniable arousal that has grown and festered between you two.
vi gasps sharply when you push yourself forward; bumping your clit against hers and smearing your fluids.
“you’re so
 f-fucking smug.” she has to force the words out, now familiar with the fact that you always expect an answer to your questions. you reach down and cup her face, squeezing her cheeks.
“because i’m right. you’re gonna go off to wherever the hell knows where and i’m still going to be on your mind.” you grin, fucking her harder. vi’s hand flies to her mouth as she stifles in a cry. she doesn’t want to wake your parents who are asleep next door.
“i prefer not to think about that.” vi pitches her hips up, making sparks of stimulation rivulet down your entire body, right down to your feet. a whine doesn’t fail to escape your lips.
you and vi have been at this since the night of the barbecue party. fucking. it’s the best thing you could’ve wanted, especially because you always get to tease and taunt vi in the process. the unconscious ‘competition’ that had been going on between you two is now no more, but if it was, you’d be so many points higher than vi right now.
“i’m close. keep talking to me.” you sigh, eyes fluttering closed.
“i— fuck
 c-can’t really talk either, you know. hah!” vi tries to sound snappy, but with the way your clits are gliding together at an intense pace, her voice comes out as pathetic instead.
“how bad do you need to cum right now?” you huff, your gaze struggling to focus as the impending release threatens to overtake you.
“real bad.” vi whines, tipping her head back. your hand reaches for vi’s, intertwining your fingers with hers.
“beg for it. i know you can.”
with how close you two are about to cum, your movements begin to grow sloppier, inconsistent. vi squeezes her hold on your hand.
“oh god
 please let me cum. pleaseplease—“
it’s a salacious view alright. what with the harsh pants and the outwardly pornographic noises filling the room, creaming your sopping pussy against her own.
“then go ahead. make a mess.” you permit. vi doesn’t even need to be told twice, tipping her head back as her body goes rigid, shuddering violently. she swears she can see god, and you, the same.
. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ
you are something quite like the sun these days. even your parents have noticed your heartened mood.
“you have roses in your cheeks.” your mother would point out warmly, the old-fashioned saying never failing to make you blush even more. you’re fucking glowing, and you have no one else to thank but vi. the bond between you two have nurtured like a river, flowing deeper with each passing day. is it too early to say that you’re falling in love?
it’s currently the evening and vi’s exhausted after a long day of running after animals, cleaning kennels, feeding and watering. you’re half sat/half laying in between her legs, with the cd she bought for you playing soothingly in the background. vi traces her name on the nape of your neck and you squirm, scrunching your face up.
“that tickles. and you’re not slick.”
you turn around only to see vi smiling impishly, like a mischievous child. “i was gonna write violence, actually.”
“liar.” you smile, turning back around and nuzzling comfortably against her front. you could fall asleep right now if you wanted to.
her fingertips graze against your scalp, tracing circles and stars and spirals. her name is what she writes the most, however, from the back of your head to the nape of your neck. as if engraving her name in your brain. ïżŒïżŒ
you’re the happiest you’ve been in a while.
. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ
fried chicken for dinner tonight. vi’s got one of those nights when she comes early from work, and your parents like her so much that they insist on eating all together and chatting when they all have the chance to. whereas two weeks ago you hated it, you’ve now come to appreciate it.
you sink your teeth into a wing, immediately regretting doing so because of how hot it is.
“damn it.” you mutter, blowing on it repeatedly. vi, sitting across from you, watches you amusedly. a slack smile playing on her lips.
“that’s why you gotta be patient.” she chirps, and your parents agree. you roll your eyes, though your heart betrays you by fluttering in glee. any sliver of attention from vi gets your heart going, and by the way she’s looking at you makes you hope she likes you the same way you do.
your clothed foot grazes vi’s under the table before sliding up her leg. vi quickly glances at you before focusing on her food again, quietly clearing her throat. you smile, your eyes brazenly set on her. it seems to be embarrassing her, considering the way her skin is beginning to match the colour of her hair.
you make matters worse by guiding your foot upwards, boldly pressing the heel of your foot against her crotch. it makes vi jolt so hard that her knees hit against the table, making the dishes clatter. you quietly snort.
“are you okay, violet?” your dad asks, raising a brow. vi’s jaw slacks open, her brain momentarily short-circuiting as she tries to figure out something to say.
“i
 um. sorry. i get
 s-shivers.” she mutters slowly. your foot doesn’t move.
“it’s okay, dad, i get them too sometimes.” you chime in, though your eyes are still settled on vi’s nervous ones. you take this a step further by ever so slightly shifting your foot up, with the right amount of pressure. vi instinctively clenches her thighs against your foot. the fabric of your sock crammed against vi’s dressed cunt is unbelievable, and vi hangs her head low, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tries her hardest to act normal at the dinner table. this is all so fun, watching vi try to stay as still as possible. her food is left discarded on her plate, completely forgotten about, whilst you amusedly nibble on a fry.
you press too hard, and high-pitched whimper leaves her lips. she thinks nobody heard because she instantly shot up from her seat, offering to take plates to the dishwasher. she shoots you a withering glare, one that makes you feel a pang of heat on your lower stomach.
you innocently smile back at her, offering her your plate for her to take.
. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ
“that wasn’t cool what you did back there.” vi huffs whilst she tilts her head to the side, letting you pepper sloppy, open-mouthed kisses all over her neck.
“you didn’t like it?” you let yourself be selfish, planting purple bruises on the slope of her neck where it meets her shoulder.
“it’s not th—ah..t. it’s ‘cuz we were with your p-parents, so it’s weird
” vi’s voice is beginning to slew into a heap of slurred babbles, because you’ve now brought your teeth into the mix; nipping and sucking at her skin.
you glance up at her, taking in the hazy look on her face, the way her eyebrows are already settled in that familiar needy look you worship so much.
“good thing we didn’t get caught then. right?”
vi gazes down at you, furrowing her brows. the corner of her lips twitch into a little smile.
“you’re really something y’know?” she whispers, brushing your hair to the side so she can see more of your face. “you know what? you’re right. i’m probably not gonna forget about you.”
you blink, eyes widening a fraction as you register what she’s just said. mere words have somehow blown you off your socks and left you speechless, your dominant and playful demeanour gone like the wind. vi isn’t going to forget about you.
you glance down, busying yourself by running your hands up her thighs so vi can’t see how flustered you’re getting, how hard your heart has started to pound against your ribs.
“you mean that?” you mumble quietly, the question slipping out of your lips before your brain even gets a chance to stop them. you mentally curse yourself for sounding so needy and desperate. vi looks down at you quietly, before gently guiding your chin up to focus your gaze on her. she flashes you a grin.
“what was that tone? ’you mean that?’ you sound so sad.” you flush red when vi mimics you, swatting her hand away and looking away from her.
“fuck off.”
“no! just say you’re gonna miss me.” vi teases, trying to get you to show your face. you jerk away like a baby refusing to be spoon-fed. “come onnnn!” she coos.
vi pounces on you, making you both tumble onto the sheets. you squeal as you two get yourselves into playful roughhousing. you lightly pull at vi’s hair whilst she shoves your face, rolling around on the bed. you can’t help but burst out laughing at how silly you two are acting.
“there she is.” vi breathes, raising herself above you, her hands being on either side of your head. you guys both pant breathlessly, synchronised, as if connected.
“so what if i am going to miss you?” you mutter.
vi smiles sympathetically, a look you both want to diminish from your brain and keep it locked in there forever. you really don’t want vi to go. for her to just go back to being a cam-girl on your screen.
vi leans down and presses a chaste kiss to your lips. though vi was the one to initiate it, your lips chase after hers, cupping her cheeks and holding her close. as if she’ll disintegrate if you let go.
. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ˖ . ʁ
you two sleep together in your bed that night. it wasn’t planned, it just kind of happened. your heads are huddled together, vi’s cheek pressed against yours. despite the onslaught of boiling summer heat you’ve been experiencing these past few weeks, the covers are pulled up high, just under your chins, tucked in comfortably with the woman you’ve come to fall for.
you sleep so well that you don’t even realise your mother coming in the room to leave some towels in the cupboard. she’s quite surprised at the sight, not having really known how close you two have gotten. she smiles to herself and creeps away quietly, not wishing to wake you two up. she knew you’d be embarrassed if you found her there.
it’s the sound of vi’s alarm that wakes you two up. you inhale sharply at the unexpected blaring noise, whilst vi groans and lazily switches it off. she squints her eyes at the harsh sunlight bleeding through your sheer curtains. she then glances down at you — who’s trying to bury your face in her arm so you’re isn’t met with how bright it is.
“think it’s time to get up.” vi mutters, her voice laced with sleep. you groan awake, stretching and purposely shoving her a little while you do so.
“hey.” vi giggles, shoving you back.
you two end up staying in bed for a while longer, lazily mumbling about all sorts of things: how vi has the day off today, and you suggesting you go to the ice cream parlour downtown together. all the while, the tip of vi’s nails drag against your scalp soothingly.
though this little tranquil moment feels lovely, there’s a little voice nagging in the back of your head that vi will be leaving soon, in less than a week, so you shouldn’t feel too comfortable. guilt slithers up your spine at how much this feels like a relationship, like you two are girlfriends. the fact that this moment won’t last upsets you.
you faintly move away from her. “i’m gonna start getting ready.”
“mmm i’m gonna stay here for a little longer. i like your bed.” vi stretches.
after getting dressed, you pad downstairs. you expect to see your parents in the kitchen, but instead you surprisingly find sevika instead. sitting against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee, reading a magazine as casual as ever, as if she’s been here all along.
“oh, look who’s finally up.” she glances at you through her glasses, before taking it off and setting it down on the table.
“sevika?” you blink repeatedly, “what are you doing here? where are my parents?” your thoughts frantically rush to vi, dreading how awkward things will most-likely be if she comes downstairs. your mind then proceeds to flash to the barbecue party, how you were so drunk you were practically throwing yourself all over the poor woman.
“they went out, told me to look after the house.” she grins. “i haven’t left this side of town quite yet. sorry to disappoint.”
“disappointed? no! definitely not
 i’m more than happy you’re here actually.” you ramble, spilling more than you should. sevika simply stares at you amusedly.
“what’s with you lately? sit next to me.” she instructs gently, her voice so low and guiding that you can’t help but comply immediately. her silver eyes pierce through you so hard you’re afraid she’ll be able to somehow read your mind, so you look away. you do not want vi to come downstairs and see you like this.
but alas, vi does. skipping down the staircase and even cheerfully singing a little tune to herself. however upon seeing you and sevika, her face falls. in fact, it even sours.
“oh. hello.” she greets sevika flatly. glancing at you straightaway. you want to melt.
“morning. violet, was it?” sevika looks at her.
vi hums in response, you internally cringe at vi’s obvious attitude. “you?”
“name’s sevika. i’m a friend of the family.”
there seems to be this inexplicable tension in the room that is so thick that it feels like it’s being shoved down your throat and constricting your airways. you make up an excuse to leave, lying that there’s plants that need to be watered.
vi fleetingly hates you for leaving her alone with this older woman, who exhibits an air of being intimidating yet lenient all the same. she knows you two are close, judging by the way you two acted at the party. it may be selfish to admit, but she didn’t like it. not even in the slightest. sure, it’s worrying, considering you two aren’t even dating, and she’ll probably never see you again once her stay here expires, but she doesn’t care.
“you’re staring at me a lot. is there something on my face?” sevika smiles. vi swears she’s not being crazy when she says she can feel the condescending tone bleeding out of her.
“no.” vi mumbles as a response, trying to peek at the garden to see where you are at; silently pleading for you to come save her from this painful conversation.
“so
 you and y/n? y’all close or..?” sevika raises a brow.
vi narrows her eyes. she’d be pleasured to snap in sev’s face about that being frankly none of her business and that she should be playing bingo or some shit (vi has no sense of what forty year old women do.)
“sure. close enough to know that she’s good with her hands
 which explains the planting thing.” vi passes it off as a simple gardening thing, but she meant more, and sevika knows she meant more. they glare at each other silently, an invisible zing of electricity charging between the two of them.
you come back just in time to fizzle out the tense moment, and both women stare up at you, saying your name at the same time. vi and sevika glare at each other whilst you stand there confused; obviously unaware of what happened whilst you were gone.
sevika’s the first to successfully grab your attention, getting at your name first before vi does.
“you mind if we talk? privately?” she mutters.
“it’s fine, i’ll just go upstairs.” vi bitches, storming up the stairs like an angsty teenager. you furrow your brows at her behaviour. maybe it wasn’t such a good idea leaving them alone.
“anyway. i mostly came here to talk to you about something.” sevika says, her eye contact as strong as always. you quietly nod, though a little inkling in your brain is worrying about vi, hoping she isn’t actually sulking upstairs.
“i’m leaving today. do you want to come back with me?” sevika’s words make you pause, your gaze fully focused on her.
“just for a few days. i already talked to your parents about it. i think you’d like it. would be good for you.” sevika smirks.
your brain short-circuits, just shy of exploding. a year ago, you were absolutely gutted upon hearing that sevika was leaving. you wanted nothing more than for her to pack you up in her suitcase and take you with her. you adore sevika. anything she says, goes.
but on the flip side, you cannot just leave vi: someone you’ve bonded with heavily, even outside of sex. you can’t even begin to imagine her face if you’d tell her, especially since vi’s days of living in your house are coming to an end. you don’t even think you’d be able to see her go if you went with sevika.
then again
 vi came here with a purpose. she simply wanted to do volunteering and wanted a place to stay in. having sex with you is probably just a mere bonus, that’s all she probably sees it as. you two don’t mean enough to each other than you hope.
you get out of your head, noticing that sevika is looking at you expectedly. whatever you pick will matter, and will leave an impression that’ll hardly be forgettable

part 5 (final part)
taglist: @moonchildcovenxx @h0n3yf0rlif3 @vxtanne31 @elliesbabygirl @jaydonisnothere @wlw-please @d1psht @morticeras @bambiaches @drunkenrosesluv @vicforelsfavorite @elliezlils11utt @ghgygd @gel6tine @yearningandstillnotlearning @honeyboo-1 @scissorszex @rishofkf @jajsnjz @kmhbygss @pornoangelz @ilikegirlz @rhian88 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @goticapomposa @etherealpixie8 @elliecoochieeater
(whoever asked to be tagged but isn’t on the list, your mentions r off!!! check ur settings and switch it on for next time :3)
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darlinluxx · 3 months ago
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— 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐎 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ౚৎ
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↳ pairing : natalie scatorccio x feminine!fem!reader
fluff
warnings : alcohol, smoking, reader is a cheerleader, mentions of bad home life
a/n : i’m such a sucker for the opposites attract trope 😭
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- Nat has a tough exterior, but a big heart.
-Nat appears as cynical and hardened, but you know there’s a well of loyalty and vulnerability underneath. it takes a lot of patience (and maybe a few beers) to crack the surface
- she bristles at being told what to do or how to feel. gift her a beautifully planned, romantic day? she’s suspicious. take her to a shitty bar late at night? she’s putty in your hands
- Nat notices everything, even when she seems completely checked out. she remembers small details you’ve mentioned in passing and brings them up weeks later
- she’s fiercely loyal to those she cares about. if anyone even looks at you wrong, Nat’s ready to fight someone
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- everyone, especially your friends, was surprised when you started dating Nat. you’re so different, it shouldn’t work but it does
- dinner reservations? your domain. impromptu road trip to a questionable music festival? that’s Nat’s idea. compromise is key
- you help ground Nat and bring some stability to her chaotic world. she pushes you outside of your comfort zone and shows you a different side of life
- let’s just say Nat isn’t the best at expressing her feelings. you’ve learned to read between the lines, but sometimes it’s exhausting
- she is a softie when it comes to you, she would never admit it, but she would do anything for you
- you met Nat at a party you were throwing. she looked completely out of place, like a stray cat at a dog show
- you were drawn to her immediately. everyone else was bubbly and full of energy, and she was the exact opposite. that’s what drew you in. plus, that little smirk she wore was incredibly intriguing
- you offered her a drink, a beer you stole from your older sibling’s stash. she raised an eyebrow, took it, and downed half of it in one go. you were hooked
- you’re all about pastel colors, perfect nails, perfect makeup and hair, and cheerleading practice. Nat wears ripped jeans, leather jackets, and spent her afternoons skipping class to hang out behind the school smoking cigarettes
- your friends did not understand. “why her?” they’d ask, with a mix of genuine curiosity and thinly veiled judgment. you just shrugged. you couldn’t explain it
- you were one of the few people who saw past Nat’s tough exterior. you knew she’s incredibly intelligent, fiercely loyal, and surprisingly sensitive
- you learn that her sarcasm was often a defense mechanism, a way to keep people at arm’s length. you worked to earn her trust, brick by brick
- it wasn’t always easy. there were walls, secrets, and unpredictable mood swings. but the glimpse of vulnerability you caught made it all worthwhile
- small gestures were huge with Nat. she wasn’t big on grand romantic declarations, but she leaves you mixtapes with your favorite songs on it, or silently hold your hand when you’re feeling down
- she probably writes you poetry, but it’s all hidden in a dusty old notebook
- like i said, she’s soo protective. guys who try to flirt with you suddenly found themselves on the receiving end of Nat’s icy glare and a string of creatively crafted insults
- she gets you your favorite flowers
- public displays of affection are rare, but when they happened, they were electric. a stolen kiss in a crowded hallway of your school, her hand grazing your back as you walked by
- you know about Nat’s turbulent home life—the absent parents, the general instability. you know she had to be so independent because she has no one else
- you’re a safe place for her. a place where she doesn’t have to be tough, where she can let her guard down, even just for a little bit. your parents occasionally take her in for the night, offering her a hot meal and a warm bed
- you know you can’t fix her problems. but you can be there for her, to listen, to support her, and to remind her that she isn’t alone
- Nat secretly loves watching you practice for cheer. she tells you to pick a sport that was less girly. you think it was funny that she was acting annoyed
- you know she’s good at soccer, amazing even. she’s quiet about it, but she has that look of determination and a competitive drive she tries to hide
- you go to every one of her games, cheering her on from the sidelines. omg wearing her jersey


.
- she pretended to be annoyed when she first saw you wearing her jersey, but you caught her smiling
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prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue · 3 months ago
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ᎌáŽșᎱ ᎌᶠ ᔀᎎᎱ Ꮃ᎔Ꮏ᎞˹
✐ an au where the reader is the favorite person in batfam because THEY DESERVE TO BE THE FAVORITE
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one of the girls
(by the weeknd)
◁◁ Ⅱ ▷▷
0:00 ●───────────4:51
.  * .    .   °  . ● ° . ¾ .  ★ ° :.  . ‱ °   .  * :. ☆
- reader is an average person - literally, they're not a vigilante by choice, of course, though even though they don't take part in the vigilante life, it doesn't mean they don't help.
- reader is such a life saviour, especially after a particularly grueling patrol always coming in clutch with hot chocolate they made for everyone in cute matching hello kitty cups because they're girlie pop .
- reader always helps patches everyone up - giving everyone deserved head pats, especially to poor dick because he always goes too hard on himself .
- despite not being a vigilante - reader knows about who they are and what they do - kinda hard not too when Jason is crashing in the loving room couch with a black eye.
- despite having not being as tech savvy as Barbra and Tim , the reader always sits with them - always engaging them in the latest gossip, which helps time pass by faster !
-every morning, Cas and readers literally does hot girl yoga sessions in Cas' rooms because why not ? And of course, they're both giggling about how last night on patrol Damian totally didn't slip and fall when he grappled onto a rooftop.
- every morning before they get ready for school , all the girls are huddled in Stephanie's room, and they're all picking out what matching sweaters they're all repping to school and they're doing each other's eyeliner while Chappel Ronan is blasting in the background <3.
- During lunch , Tim and the reader and a couple of other friends are gathered around a lunch table playing uno - Tim literally always changing up the rules when he's losing which earns a playful smack from reader lol.
- after school , Damian and the reader both at the park playing with Titus in the park and feeding the nearby ducks in the pond . One time Reader fell in the pond and Damian couldn't stop laughing at them for a whole week.
- Jason and reader are always trying to one up each other on who can run up the stairs faster ( fun fact it's neither of them it's actually Alfred ) and they're both always grumpy when he beats them both because wdym an old man is faster than them -.
- reader and Duke always do homework together every night - both literally confused - literally the blind leading the blind because neither of them understands what their homework requires of them.
- dick and reader ends off the night by watching a random series like love island together and both gets way too political on who should end up with who and if either watches an episode without the other ITS BETRAYAL .
- reader and Bruce unironically text and communicate with each other in cringey memes, which only they find funny at this point -
- reader who helps Alfred with menial chores because they wanna spend time with him and plus Alfred is always spilling tea about his missions back in the day like wdym Alfred flirted with the Queen of England once -
- so all in all, despite not being a vigilante , reader is integrated in batfam's life so much so their literally dubbed the favorite sibling .
- like the one day reader spent the day with a friend's, Damian, Duke, Cas and Tim showed up and crashed it because they missed them so much . Reader had 12 missed calls from Bruce , 50+ messages rom Dick accusing them of not loving him because they abandoned him , a video sent from Jason of him eating reader's hidden stash of sweets and a message from steph saying she's stealing reader's hair curler .
- Alfred literally brags about reader like their the only grandchild he has 😭😭.
Overall, chaotic family shenanigans and overall batfam loves reader too much .
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c0llisiion · 11 days ago
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— ex-husband.
★ exhusband!johnny, fingering (is there another term?😭) ,e2l almost, NPR. ; lmk if i missed any! :3 W/C: 1,278
This is strictly fiction. Any scenario or situation should not be taken seriously. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable.
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Ex-husband!Johnny, watched you with an intense gaze as you got ready for a date.
You didn’t know he would come home to pick up his daughter. He gets her every Saturday and drops her off Monday evening after school but today was a 
 Friday
?
You didn’t even dare look at him as you put on your earrings. You could feel his eyes burning holes into the back of your head, leaning against the doorframe with his muscular arms crossed.
You weren’t divorced for too long. 10 months to be exact? And it wasn’t as smooth as you hoped it would go. There were tears, fights, and yelling in the days leading up to the final verdict.
There was an attempt at moving on. You would go on frequent dates when Johnny would have your daughter. And this was one of them. A part of you still yearned for Johnny and so the reason why you kept these whereabouts hidden was that
 you felt you were betraying him of sorts, even though you were divorced.
“Where are you going?” His deep voice cut through the tense and thick atmosphere.
“Out.” You simply state as you spray on your perfume, the one he gifted you for your birthday.
“Out, where?” He asked again, expecting more than just single words from you.
“For dinner” you once again reply nonchalantly. Almost nonchalantly. A poor attempt at nonchalance when you were starting to get intimidated by his questioning.
“With who?” The words escaped through gritted teeth and you could hear it.
“Where’s d/n?” You quickly changed the subject. Turning around to finally look at him.
There was a slight pause as he eyed your outfit for the night. The way the dress hugged your curves. The length of the dress and the way your legs looked. Nothing was left unnoticed by his eyes.
“In her room.” He said and before you could speak.
“You’re not wearing that dress tonight.” It wasn’t a suggestion or a question. It was a command. And you couldn’t help but slightly fold at his tone. You missed that kind of authority sometimes, and that was the truth.
But you weren’t going to let your ex-husband ruin your night, right? You have moved on and your date is probably waiting. Moreover, he is your ex-husband, who is he telling you what not to wear? Right?
“Why would I listen to you?” You say as you grab your bag and head towards the door to be immediately stopped by Johnny's tall figure.
“I said, you’re not wearing that.” He commanded. Stepping impossibly closer to you. His eyes pierced down into yours.
Your face quickly formed a scowl. Who does he think he is?
“Move. I'm gonna be late.” You say sternly.
“You’re not going anywhere unless you change out of that,” Johnny replied in the same tone, closing and locking the door behind him. Oh, he was challenging you.
“Don't act all possessive, I don’t have time for this-“ your words were cut off as a pair of familiar lips clashed with yours within the blink of an eye.
Only god knows what had gotten into him to suddenly do that but fuck
 he couldn’t just stand there and watch as some younger dude from your office steal you like that. Especially when you’re dressed up like this. Looking like a complete meal.
He turned you around and pinned you against the wall as the kiss deepened. You weren’t responding at first but eventually gave in.
“Get off- John-“ you mumble into his lips but are once again shut down as his tongue finds its way into your mouth.
It was a fight for dominance, one which you lost. Your hands were in the air resisting to hold him in any way but eventually, your arms fell around his neck like muscle memory as his stronger ones wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer.
“You’re not going anywhere looking like that
 you’re mine
 you’re mine mama
” he whispered against your lips before kissing you again.
You couldn’t help but whine at his words. The sheer desperation and urgency in his tone made you fold easily.
You could feel his greedy hands push the hem of your dress up, revealing the lacey red panties you hoped your date would take off of you later that night.
He pulled away from your lips and glanced down to see the fabric on your skin. He couldn’t help but let his jealousy boil a bit. The fact that you were getting dolled up for another man while he spent all his time hoping you would go back to him, didn’t sit right.
You were expecting a reaction out of him. An outburst. A lecture. Him staring into your soul. But all he did was push two of his slender fingers past the waistband of your panties and into your wet and gushy pussy.
He smirked as he immediately felt your wetness coat his fingers, pushing in deeper so he could feel your gummy walls around his digits.
“You sure this wasn’t for me?” He said cockily as he kissed the side of your neck.
You let out soft whimpers as his fingers move slowly in and out of you. Curling slightly before plunging back in.
“You’re so wet.. so 
 so wet and ready
” he whispered into your ears before licking the back making you shudder.
You gripped his shoulders for stability and buried your face in his chest as his fingers penetrated your walls, making you clench and gush.
“Yeah just like that
 you’re doing so well
” he said while pressing his thumb on your nub.
You let out a loud whine and clenched your thighs together before johnnys knees pushed them apart again.
You were getting wetter by the second and you could feel your orgasm build up. Your eyebrows furrowed and beads of sweat slowly dripped down your forehead.
You gripped onto his wrist and shoulder.
“Sh-she might walk in
 s-stop
” you whisper feebly and moan breathlessly as his fingers continue their relentless assault.
“I'm not stopping till you cum
 besides
 the door is locked.” You loved how confident he was.
His hands sped up. Wet noises bounced off the walls accompanied by his shallow breathing and your quiet moans.
You haven’t been able to have an orgasm in months, making you feel sexually frustrated and lonely. But it looked like you were finally getting your big break.
“I'm
 gonna
 plea-“ you whine incoherently.
“Yeah? You’re gonna cum all over my hands?” Johnny's thumb started rubbing your clit once again, hoping your orgasm would approach faster and he was right.
Your thighs quivered and you physically hunched as your orgasm erupted. Your head fell into the crook of his neck and bit down hard to control your moans, making him wince.
“Yeah
 thats right
 just like that
” he cooed while slowly riding you down from your high and keeping you close to your body.
You leaned against him as he removed his hands from inside your panties, licking your sweet juice.
“So? When was the last time you came like that?” He teased
You chuckled and placed a kiss on his neck as your arms wrapped around his waist involuntarily and pulled him closer.
He embraced you back. Kissing the top of your head and inhaling your scent.
But quickly the sweet moment was interrupted by a loud ‘daddy!!!!!’ Echoing from outside the door. He knew he had to pull away and go tend to her, besides he had to reward the little monster for snitching on her mom so he could have this moment, right?
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A/N: this took longer than expected. Sorry gamers i have just been very busy 😭💔 anyways i hope you liked it and ty for reading!!!
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wcters · 5 months ago
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𝗟𝗔𝗩 đ—©đ—˜đ—šđ—”đ—Š 𝗟𝗔𝗩𝗛 𝗱𝗹𝗧
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pairing: charles leclerc x fem!sainz!reader
word count: 1.3k+
summary: dating charles while he raced with your brother was complicated, but is even more complicated after the events of the las vegas grand prix
request: i cant stop thinking about the charles & carlos drama from vegas. would you be able to write an angst/fluff charles x sainz!reader fic where charles kinda lashes out on reader bec hes so angry at carlos. then they make up so some fluff in the end ,, thank you!
warnings: swearing, fighting (mostly charles being a dick, sorry), angst, fluff at the end, established relationships | sorry it’s so late, school and christmas has kept me busy 😔 i don’t think i can wait till march, and the way the eras tour ended the same day as the f1 season did had me sobbing 😭 i used translate for the spanish and french so if it’s wrong, please correct me, anyway, hope this is what you pictured !!!
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For the first part of the race, you completely thought Charles had a chance of winning the race ━━ having moved from fourth to second ━━ but after the failed pass on George, you knew he was going to be upset. You also knew that he was going to be upset at your brother for overtaking him and getting podium when he was told not to. It was hard to be proud of your brother for getting podium while also mad at him for doing that to your boyfriend.
You knew what you were getting into when you started dating Charles, but it didn’t make situations like these any better. Both would feel betrayed no matter what you did, and that hurt because you loved them both. Carlos was your big brother, the man who introduced you to this sport and your love for it. The man who always supported you with your school work and degree, and doing whatever made you happy. Charles was your boyfriend, the man who you came home to every night and had conversations in the middle of the night with. The man who you imagined your future with: dancing in the kitchen, kids, what you’ve wanted ever since you were a kid. It was complicated, and it got even more complicated after you found out Carlos was traded to Williams.
You knew he was incredibly upset when he wouldn’t answer Bryan’s call for him over the radio. Then the whole speech happened and when he wouldn’t stop even after Fred hinted at it, that’s when you were called in with a desperate look from the two. “Charles, miel, you did what you needed to. You did the right thing. We’re so proud of you, mi amor. You can talk about it when you get back. I love you.” Bryan and Fred thanked you with a look and nodded, walking over to them once the radio was off.
“He’ll be fine, it might just take awhile.” They told you as you crossed your arms. “I know, it’s just unfortunate. If he asks, just tell him I’ll be back after the podium. If he lashes out at you, let me know. It’s not your fault,” you told them, rubbing their shoulders. “Thank you, chĂ©ri.” Fred thanked you. You just nodded and started to make your way to the podium with the rest of the Ferrari staff. You knew Charles would be salty that you were there, but he needed some time to himself before he talked to people. Especially before media.
The podium celebration was like the rest of them, besides the worry building up in your stomach. You were so proud of your brother for how he did this race, especially since he’s leaving at the end of the season, but you were worried about Charles as well. You know what he’s like, and you know how competitive he is. It just hurt that you can’t be in two places at once right now. You were thankful no champagne got on you ━━ no matter how hard your brother tried ━━ so when you finally got to Charles you weren’t rubbing it in even more.
You chatted with Bryan and Fred, as well as a couple more people before finally making your way to Charles’ driver room. You knocked first before calling his name. “Not right now Bryan, please.” “It’s me. Can I come in?” It was silent before the door opened and there stood Charles, eyes filed with anger and face filled with disappointment. “Oh cariño,” you sighed, pulling him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around you before you let him go and he sat back down on the couch in his room. “He always does this. Always.” He spoke up, his accent more noticeable as he got more upset. “Does what?” You asked softly, not trying to rile him up. Apparently that was the wrong move.
He rolled his eyes, “you know what.” You stayed silent. You had never felt this before, unwelcome. You didn’t know what to do. Charles was your boyfriend, but Carlos was your brother. “He did something wrong tonight, I know ━━“ “It’s not just tonight. Dieu, Y/n, why do you always stand up for him.” The anger in his voice was evident. “Excuse me?,” the shock displayed in your face, and in your voice. “You always do this. Always standing up for him and downplaying things he’s done wrong.”
At this point, you were tired of this conversation. Your boyfriend was gone to a point that nothing but some time would help him come down from his high. “I’m not talking about this.” You said, making your way to the door. “Yeah, go ahead, go to him.” You turned slowly. “Do not lash out at me because of something my brother did. I agreed with you, and you shut me out. Yes, he did something wrong, but it was him. Not me. I don’t deserve that. Now, I’m leaving and you better get yourself together before you do media because we all know you’ll regret what you’ll say when you’re angry tomorrow. I’ll see you when we leave.”
As the sounds of you walking away started to fade, Charles put his head in his hands. He knew you were right, but at this moment he was too filled with a mix of emotions that he knew he couldn’t work it out right now.
The car ride was filled with uncomfortable silence as you made your way back to your apartment. You could see the way that Charles’ hands gripped the steering wheel and how he refrained from putting his hand on your thigh like he usually did. You hadn’t talked after he lashed out at you. You understood he was frustrated, but you didn’t deserve for that to be put on you. That’s why you didn’t start a fight. You knew that he was upset and disappointed, so instead of trying to figure it out then, you saved him the stress ━━ and time ━━ and waited for him to apologize.
It stayed as you headed up to your apartment: in the elevator, as you opened the door, and as you started to come down from the race. You were the first one to speak. “You want water?” Although you were mad at him, you still cared and wanted to make sure he was okay. “No, thank you.” His voice was firm. You took a glance at him before getting your water and setting up on the couch. Charles probably wanted a shower, so you didn’t expect his shadow to fill your eye-line and for him to sit down next to you. “I’m sorry.” You paused the show you had put on as you faced him.
“I’m sorry. I was upset, but had no right to take it out on you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes tonight, that being one of them. I made a promise to you and your brother that I would never hurt you, and I know I slipped up tonight,but I intend to keep it that way. You are not your brother, and I know that he’s important to you as well as me. I should’ve apologized right away. I truly am sorry, miel.” He finally looked to face you. You grabbed his hands in yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
“I know. I know you are. I understand why you didn’t. That’s why I didn’t start a fight and left you alone. I didn’t deserve that and I’m glad that you are acknowledging that. It’s over now. We’ve apologized, we understood what we did wrong. Let’s just go to bed and if we need to, talk about it more tomorrow. Okay, amor?” You smiled at him. He nodded and smiled as you went to hold his face in your hands. You kissed him softly on the lips before you got up and held out your hand.
“Come on. I’m tired and our bed is calling our name. Plus, I deserve some cuddles after today.”
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formulaonecrumbs · 24 days ago
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we’re meant to be just friends
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Lando Norris x best friend!reader
summary: lando and reader have been best friends since birth (their mums have been best friends since year 10) and now they have to navigate having secret feelings for each other while still growing up.
warnings: angsty, weird ass ending, girlfriend and girl best friend type trope, both of them being dicks, not really a happy ending ? idk tbh.
A/N: HIIIII this is long but i got very passionate with it. i went thru a break up recently (not a terrible one, we hadn’t been dating for that long but still sad) i felt like writing about something sad to make myself feel something. it worked. i hope u cry to this THATS THE GOAL 🙏 but enjoy nonetheless. this is low-key cringe, cheesy and i don’t even think the fight is very reasonable 😭 it’s also very badly written, especially towards the end, i got very tired as i wrote it even tho i kept going 😭 i have chapters and chapters written on these before any of this even happened (like happy cutesy ones) so if u want those LEMME KNOOWWW i love yaaallllll ❀❀
୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ
you texted him at exactly 12:00am.
happy birthday lando. sixteen looks good on you.
you stared at the message for a long time after sending it. he responded a few minutes later—something with hearts and too many exclamation points, asking when you were coming over, if you were still making him that dumb cake you promised.
you didn’t reply.
you turned your phone off.
because the night before, everything fell apart.
your mum crying in the kitchen. your dad packing a bag. voices raised and cold silence and the word divorce tossed out like it was just another sentence.
and now you were supposed to get up, put on something cute, and act like nothing had changed—because it was lando’s birthday. and if anyone deserved a good day, it was him.
so you did it.
you curled your hair. wore his favorite color. even smiled when you walked into his house with the stupid chocolate cake in your hands. you didn’t let your hands shake.
his whole family was there. some of his friends too. people he knew from karting, from school. everyone buzzing around, excited for him. and lando—he was glowing.
he pulled you into a hug the second he saw you. he held on a little too long.
you didn’t mind. in fact, you kind of wanted to stay there forever.
“you okay?” he whispered near your ear.
you pulled back fast, smiled bright, and nodded. “yeah. just tired.”
he didn’t believe you. but he didn’t push it either.
you sat through presents and cake and cisca’s terrible off-tune singing. you watched lando laugh and light up every room he entered. you even teased him for crying a little when his older brother gave him a new watch.
you didn’t cry once. not even when he sat beside you later and leaned his head against yours for a minute.
but then your parents showed up.
together. for once.
and that’s when it cracked.
your dad was late. your mum was snappy. one wrong comment turned into another. then it escalated. right there—at the door. in front of everyone.
“you said you’d be on time for once.”
“i wouldn’t be late if you didn’t change the plans without telling me.”
“oh right, because you’re so good at communicating—”
“don’t start, not here—”
you froze on the stairs, halfway down. every muscle in your body tense.
lando was near the kitchen, eyes locked on you. he looked scared. for you.
cisca stepped in fast, soft but firm. “sweetheart, why don’t you head upstairs for a bit?”
you didn’t argue. you couldn’t even speak. you just turned around and walked to lando’s room like it was instinct. like it was the only place you could breathe.
you sat on the edge of his bed, shoes still on, hands clenched in your lap. the quiet was suffocating. your ears were still ringing from their voices. from the memories.
lando walked in a few seconds later and closed the door behind him.
he didn’t say anything at first.
just sat beside you. close. not touching.
after a minute, he quietly said, “you should’ve told me.”
you stared at your hands. “i didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”
“you think this is better?”
you laughed, sharp and small. “i thought i could keep it together.”
“you have been keeping it together,” he said, turning toward you. “too well. that’s the problem.”
you looked at him finally. and god, the way he was looking at you—like you were breakable, like you were everything—it made your throat burn.
“i don’t know how to do this,” you whispered. “i don’t know how to pretend that everything’s fine anymore.”
“then don’t pretend with me.”
you blinked fast. your eyes burned. your chest hurt.
“i don’t want to cry on your birthday,” you said, voice cracking.
“then cry with me,” he said. “i don’t care if it’s my birthday. i care that you’re hurting and i didn’t know.”
you didn’t mean to—but the tears came anyway.
and when they did, he was already there. arms around you, pulling you in like he was afraid you’d disappear. his hand on your back, soft and steady. his chin resting on your shoulder.
you buried your face in his hoodie and let it all out. you sobbed until your throat ached. until your fingers curled into his shirt like you needed him to hold you together.
and he did. every second of it.
when you finally pulled back, red-eyed and exhausted, he reached up and brushed your hair away from your face. his thumb hovered near your cheek.
“you’re still my favorite person,” he said, so quietly you almost missed it.
your breath hitched.
“even when i’m a mess?” you whispered.
“especially then.”
and there it was again—that moment.
the air between you shifting. your eyes flicking to his lips. his hand still on your cheek. your heart pounding so loud it hurt.
but neither of you moved.
not this time.
just a look. a feeling. a thousand unspoken things resting in the space between your faces.
and then—
he smiled.
not the usual cheeky grin. a soft, knowing one. like he’d wait as long as it took.
“come here,” he said, tugging you gently back into his chest.
you curled into him like it was second nature.
because it was.
and maybe you didn’t kiss him.
but god, it felt like everything still changed anyway.
୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ
he missed her thing.
he didn’t mean to, but he did.
he’d been racing that weekend—some big european karting event his team wouldn’t let him skip. the timing was awful, but he told her he’d be back. swore he’d make it for her art showcase. even booked an early flight.
but delays happened. schedules changed. his phone died halfway through the day. and by the time he made it to her school, the lights were off. the gym was empty.
her project—some massive sculpture thing she’d been working on for weeks—was still standing in the corner.
he stared at it for a long time.
he didn’t know a lot about art, but he knew it mattered to her. and she’d asked him—just this once—to show up.
he went to her house straight after.
her mum let him in, gave him this soft, tight-lipped smile like she already knew how this was gonna go.
she was in her room, headphones in, sitting cross-legged on her bed with her sketchbook open. her eyes flicked up when he walked in, and something behind them just
 shut off.
“hey,” he said, standing awkwardly in the doorway.
she didn’t answer. didn’t even pause her music.
“i’m sorry,” he said, stepping closer. “my flight got delayed, and then i—“
“save it,” she said flatly, pulling out one earbud.
he blinked. “wait, what?”
she closed her sketchbook with a sharp snap. “i don’t want to hear the excuses.”
“it’s not an excuse. i tried to get here. i wanted to be there—”
“but you weren’t.”
his chest tightened. “it wasn’t my fault.”
“it never is,” she snapped, standing up now. “you’re always off racing somewhere, always too busy, too far, and i’m just supposed to be okay with it.”
“that’s not fair—”
“isn’t it?” she cut in, voice rising. “you missed something that actually mattered to me.”
he stepped back like she’d slapped him. “i know. and i’m sorry. but it’s not like i was off partying—i was working.”
“yeah, and i’m tired of always being second place to your ‘work.’”
that one hit hard.
he opened his mouth to argue. to explain. to fix it.
but instead, something snapped.
“you think this is easy for me?” he said, louder than he meant to. “you think i like missing things? i hate it, alright? i hate missing you. but this is my life. this is what i’ve worked for.”
“and what about me, lando?” her voice cracked. “am i just supposed to sit here and wait for you to show up when it’s convenient for you?”
“you know that’s not how it is.”
“do i?” she asked, quieter now. “because lately it’s starting to feel like i’m just
 here. like i’m just background noise to your main story.”
he flinched.
the silence stretched.
she turned away, crossing her arms like she was trying to hold herself together. “you used to be my person.”
“i still am,” he said, softer. “you’re still mine.”
“then act like it.”
his throat felt tight. “i don’t know what you want me to say.”
“i wanted you to be there.”
and there it was. simple. devastating.
“i know,” he said, barely a whisper.
she didn’t look at him.
and for the first time in their lives, he didn’t know how to fix it.
he left not long after.
she didn’t stop him.
he sat in his car in her driveway for a long time, forehead pressed to the steering wheel, trying not to cry.
and that scared him.
because fights were supposed to be temporary. but this—this felt like it might actually change something between them.
and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that.
୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ
the thing about drifting apart is that it doesn’t always feel like a storm. sometimes it’s just a slow unraveling. a little less texting. a few more missed calls. “sorry, i’ve been busy” and “maybe next week” and “i’ll let you know.”
after the fight, things weren’t the same.
you still talked, sure. still saw each other at school, at home when your mums made you. you even laughed a few times, shared inside jokes that hadn’t died yet. but the closeness—the everythingness of him—faded.
and you didn’t know how to get it back.
you were busy too. school, college applications, helping your mum through the new house paperwork. lando had racing, constant travel, interviews, training. life kept happening.
but still, sometimes at night, you’d catch yourself staring at your phone, wondering if he was thinking about you too.
it happened on a tuesday.
you were sitting in your usual spot at lunch, half-listening to the girls next to you talk about a physics quiz, when he walked in.
you looked up automatically. you always did.
he was with someone.
she was pretty. like, really pretty.
long dark hair, soft features, that kind of quiet confidence people didn’t need to announce. she wore his jacket—his—and she was laughing at something he said, like it was the funniest thing in the world.
he looked relaxed. light. like he didn’t have the weight of the last few months still sitting in his chest.
like he hadn’t even noticed the space between you anymore.
you looked away before he could see your face.
her name was sienna.
apparently they’d met at a karting event in italy. she was someone’s niece or cousin or whatever—lando hadn’t really explained much, just said she was cool, and funny, and they’d hit it off.
he started bringing her around more often.
you’d come over for dinner and she’d already be there. feet up on his couch. curled up with his dog. flipping through channels like she belonged there.
you told yourself it was fine.
you smiled when she hugged you. laughed when she made a joke. complimented her perfume, her nails, her hair. you were everything you were supposed to be.
and it felt like hell.
one night, you were at his house. a group hangout, supposedly. except it was mostly sienna, lando, and background noise.
you sat on the floor, pretending to scroll through your phone, while she talked about some race he had coming up. he watched her talk like she hung the stars.
your stomach twisted.
you got up, said you had to pee, and slipped away.
you ended up in his old room. the one that still had your hoodie in his drawer, your handwriting on sticky notes, your pillow tucked in beside his.
you sat on the edge of his bed, heart too loud, throat too tight.
you didn’t cry. not yet. but you were close.
“hey.”
his voice came from the doorway.
you didn’t turn.
“you okay?”
“yeah,” you lied.
he walked in, shut the door behind him. the soft click of it sounded too final.
“you’ve been quiet all night,” he said gently.
you shrugged. “guess i’m just tired.”
“you sure?”
you looked up at him. he was watching you with that face—the one he used to make when he knew something was wrong, back before he pretended he didn’t.
“you like her?” you asked, before you could stop yourself.
he blinked. “what?”
“sienna,” you said. “you like her?”
he rubbed the back of his neck. “yeah. i do.”
you nodded. it felt like someone had punched a hole in your chest.
he sat beside you, close but not touching.
“why didn’t you tell me?” you asked quietly.
“i dunno,” he said. “guess i thought you wouldn’t care.”
you turned to him. “why would you think that?”
“i don’t know,” he said again, voice smaller. “you’ve been
 distant.”
“so have you.”
he looked down at his hands. “i didn’t mean to be.”
“neither did i.”
the silence between you stretched, long and heavy.
you stared at the space between your knees. “it just feels like you’re disappearing from my life one piece at a time.”
he flinched. “i’m not trying to.”
“but you are.”
and he didn’t deny it.
you didn’t cry until after he left the room.
that night, you stayed up staring at the ceiling, wondering when exactly it had changed—when he stopped being yours, even in the way that didn’t need words.
and the worst part wasn’t that he liked someone else.
it was that he didn’t even see that you were still right there, waiting for him to notice.
୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ
it’s been weeks now.
lando’s been busy. sienna’s been around. and you—well, you’ve just been
 existing. you’ve kept up the act. the one where everything’s fine. where things between you and lando haven’t changed, even though they’ve completely changed.
the worst part is, it’s not like you even meant for it to happen. you didn’t set out to drift. it just sort of happened. one conversation at a time, one unanswered text at a time. it’s like you’ve been shrinking into yourself.
and the worst part is you’re not sure if lando even notices.
but you notice.
you notice when you don’t hear from him for days. when he’s always with sienna, his laugh easy and carefree. when you’re left standing on the sidelines, wondering if you’re still his best friend or if that title’s been handed to someone else.
you don’t say anything about it. of course, you don’t.
not when you’re still figuring it out, not when you still don’t know what’s worse: the way you feel about him or the way things are between you two now.
it happens one afternoon, when you’re sitting on his bed, trying to make conversation that feels like nothing—about school, about college, about races. anything to fill the gap between you. but it’s too late for small talk.
“i saw you with sienna last night,” you say quietly, looking at the way your fingers play with the edge of your sleeve.
lando’s sitting on the floor, leaning against his dresser. his brow furrows. “yeah? we were out for dinner.” he pauses. “it was fun.”
you nod. “i can see that.”
the words come out before you can stop them, too sharp to take back.
he looks at you, confusion in his eyes. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
you shrug, but it doesn’t feel like a shrug. it feels like everything you’ve been holding inside for so long, but not enough to let it spill over yet. “i don’t know. just feels like you don’t really need me anymore.”
lando goes quiet. he glances down at his hands before looking up at you again. there’s something raw in his eyes. something that makes your heart skip.
“you’re still my best friend,” he says, but there’s this uncertainty in his voice that catches you off guard. “just
 you’ve been distant, too.”
“i haven’t been distant,” you snap, before you can catch yourself. “i’ve been right here. but you’ve got your new girlfriend now, and everything’s different, lando. i don’t know where i fit in anymore.”
he winces. and that’s all it takes for the dam to break.
“i don’t fit in anymore,” you continue, voice shaking. “and that’s fine. i get it. i just wish i didn’t feel like i was losing you. like you don’t even care that i’m still here.”
there’s this long pause, one that stretches so thin you’re scared it’ll snap. and then, lando finally speaks.
“i do care,” he says, his voice low. “but i don’t know how to make it right. i feel like i’m constantly messing things up.”
he runs a hand through his hair, looking lost for the first time in ages.
“i don’t know what i’m doing, either,” you say, more quietly now. “it’s just
 we’re not the same anymore, lando. we’re different.”
he doesn’t say anything, but you can see the hurt in his eyes. you don’t want to be the reason he looks like that, but you can’t help it.
“maybe we need some time apart,” you say softly, the words tasting bitter on your tongue, like they don’t even belong to you. but you say them anyway.
lando doesn’t answer right away. instead, he just stares at you, his expression unreadable. and then, his voice cracks.
“do you really want that?”
it’s the way he says it that breaks something inside of you. like he’s already afraid of the answer.
you look away, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you. “i think we need it.”
the silence between you two is deafening, but it feels necessary. like it’s a breath that’s been held too long.
finally, lando speaks again. “i don’t want to lose you.”
“you won’t lose me,” you whisper, but even you don’t believe it.
he gets up from the floor slowly and sits next to you, but not too close. the distance feels wrong. you’ve never been this far apart before.
“i’m sorry,” he says after a long pause. “i didn’t mean for things to get like this.”
“me neither.”
you don’t know what else to say after that. nothing feels like it’ll fix it. nothing feels like enough.
so, you just sit there, in the quiet.
maybe you just need to be apart for a while. maybe this time will give you both the space you need. maybe it won’t.
but for now, it’s all you’ve got.
୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ ୚ৎ
it’s been five months.
five months since you last heard from him. five months since you decided to give each other space. at first, it felt like a break—a necessary one. but now, five months in, it just feels like a silence that stretches farther than you ever imagined it would.
you tell yourself that you’re okay. that it’s fine. that you’re not missing him—because that’s a lie, right?
but you do.
you miss the way he used to laugh at the stupidest things. the way he’d always come up with excuses to hang out even if it was just for a few minutes. you miss the way you’d talk about everything and nothing at the same time. the easy connection you used to share.
instead, it’s just
 nothing.
his name doesn’t pop up in your texts anymore. you’re not invited to his races, not even as a friend. sienna’s always there. and maybe, just maybe, that’s what hurts the most: the feeling of being replaced, the sense that you’re not needed in his world anymore.
the worst part is, it’s not even his fault. it’s yours. you asked for the distance. you don’t want to blame him for any of it, but you still do.
you’ve been busy, too. school, friends, other things that keep you distracted. at least, that’s what you tell yourself.
but in the quiet moments, when your thoughts wander, it’s like you can feel his absence in the pit of your stomach.
there’s a part of you that wants to text him. to break the silence. but you can’t bring yourself to do it. not after all this time. it’s like you’ve let the distance build a wall between you that you can’t tear down. and every time you think about reaching out, you wonder if he’s even thought about you at all.
one evening, as you sit alone in your room, your phone buzzes. it’s a message from your dad. you quickly check it, hoping for something normal, something to distract you from the thoughts that keep swirling.
but it’s nothing.
and in that nothingness, you feel it again. the void. the space that’s taken over every corner of your life, every place lando used to fill.
you push your phone aside, and the tears come anyway.
it’s stupid. it’s so stupid. he’s just
 not part of your life anymore. and you shouldn’t care as much as you do. but you do. you care more than you’ve let yourself admit.
and then, there’s a knock at the door.
you wipe your eyes quickly, assuming it’s your mom. but when you open it, there’s no one there. instead, there’s just a single envelope on the floor, the handwriting on the front unmistakable.
lando.
you stand there for a moment, unsure whether to pick it up or leave it there. but your hand moves before your mind catches up. you pick up the envelope, heart pounding in your chest as you pull out the letter.
it’s short.
hey, it’s been a while. i hope you’re doing okay. i’m sorry. i never meant for any of this to happen. i miss you. - lando.
it’s simple. it’s too simple. and yet, it feels like the most important thing anyone’s ever said to you.
you read it again. and again. and for a moment, you let the tears fall without trying to stop them. because in the silence of the last five months, this is all you needed: an acknowledgment that he still thinks about you.
but you don’t know how to respond.
you want to. god, you want to. but it feels like it’s too late now. like five months of nothing is too much to fix.
still, you take a deep breath, grab your phone, and start typing a message.
hey, i miss you, too. i’m sorry, too.
you stop, staring at the message for a long moment. and then, you delete it.
maybe this isn’t the time to break the silence. maybe it’s not even time to start speaking again.
but for the first time in five months, you don’t feel so alone.
THE END :>
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peanutheaddd · 10 days ago
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(translation:
petey: heeeyyyyy i rreaaaaallyy like youuu... you know that , right ? my cute little puppyyyy
dm: he smells like booze...)
ive been thinking abt dusk au a lot so huge dusk au lore dump under cut Heh.. Hahaha... MY AUUUUUUUUU
their time in high school is called sunset era . their main plot is called . u guessed it . dusk era.
dm is well known within their hometown bc hes basically just . a living science experiment . hes one of the most interesting parts of the town . also he helps out a lot with odd jobs here and there so a lot of people know of him
despite this people still sorta keep their distance from him and dont rlly bother to get close to him . dm is used to this at this point . this is also why cares abt lp so much . this little guy is probs the first person to actually care about him as a person after. yk . petey. Lmfao.
i reckon dm immediately recognizes how lp and petey look nearly identical . i think hed feel weird about it initially (mostly just sad) but eventually just dismiss it as a coincidence . obvs until he meets petey and realizes Okay this is Not a coincidence.
their hometown is like . a mountain town . a town in a mountainous region . yeah
"dog man" used to be a name he was called in high school in like. a Mean way. and he did Not like it. but overtime he just got desensitized to it because Nobody would call him by his actual name . now he truly does not care about being called dog man . its just a title for him .
this is also a part of the reason why he misses petey . he was like the only person to call him greg . he may not care abt being caleld dm but he misses being called greg.
for majority of dusk au petey calls dm dog man . he doesnt call him greg until they acknowledge their shared history . i reckon the first time he calls him greg in dusk era dm gets a little emotional LMFAO
back in high school dm was homeless . he was able to sleep at school bc chief (principal of school) would let him spend the nights in his office . he was like his dad in a way . he couldnt rlly adopt him js bc he had his own life stuff going on and he felt woefully underprepared to have total responsibility of a child especially not a teen but he always made sure he was safe and ate well .
anyways this means that whenever he and petey walked home it was more so dm just walking petey home and making sure he got home safe and then turning around and going back to school . he never told him that . he just pretended like his house was a little further down the road .
the convenience store is also smth that chief helped him with . like getting the actual building in the first place and setting it up
that being said the convenience store is also dms house . theres like a studio in the back that he js lives in .
i think chief has a vague idea that something happened eith dm and petey pregrad and thats the reason dm is insisting on staying in their hometown even tho he used to seem pretty open to the idea of leaving town for his education. this is also why hes kinda skeptical when petey comes back and dm tells him abt how theyve been spending time tgth again ESP when dm tells him that peteys completely avoiding talking about their history . he js wants the best for dm đŸ˜­đŸ˜­â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
theres are several canon events during the sunset era:
-> event where petey is riled up and pissed off and lwk freaking out and dm takes him to coin karaoke to get him to blow off steam . they get rlly drunk off of cheap booze and just . generally have a good time . its also one of the fastest and most effective ways petey has Ever been calmed down in his life and he tries to ignore how that makes him feel kinda soft
-> event where dm and petey take a bus to the coast at like 2 am or smth . and they just sorta talk and splash around in the water . Heavily inspired by the yeosu sea . (listen to yeosu night sea by busker busker!) since theyre used to being surrounded by mountains, being in such an open place is very refreshing for them both. esp petey who feels suffocated and trapped by their hometown . like yes his moving away post grad was partially bc of dm but also he never liked their hometown . at all. also smth smth petey being scared of water but dm makes him feel safe and that freaks him out a little (bro is showing vulnerability)
-> event where peteys calling dms bluff and basically syaing ooohh youd never get a piercing and dms like nuh uh try me except when petey tries to pierce his ear he sees the needle and freaks out a little (medical trauma !) . he expects petey to make fun of him (not necessarily a judgement on peteys character more so like a "ooh i acted so tough about it but now im backing out thats kinda cringe 😬😬") but peteys just like man whatever and dm feels a little confused about it . hes used to having to uphold a certain persona of sorts as like someone carefree and dependable so that people dont get unnerved by him being a freak of nature for lack of a better word . like making up for his very existence by being approachable. so seeing petey just. not give a shit that he Obviously has some problems is. idk a litle refreshing ig ? like he doesnt rlly have to uphold a facade in front of him bc he dgaf .
-> confession event ! this happens a very short time before their grad (a few weeks to a month at most) during their walk home. sun is setting, its basically summer so its humid as hell, cicadas are chirping, dragonflies in the air, etc etc .
ok thats al i gyatt for now Heh
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hopelesshaidys · 9 months ago
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i cannot physically stop thinking abt american transfer student! reader x bkg
like i’m american and compared to japanese culture americans are so fucking messy 😭 that being said if you went to public school (and wasn’t apart of the “popular” group) you’ve witnessed crazy shit-ESPECIALLY in the south like these schools are not for the weak
you never back down from his insults or threats, bc you’ve dealt with dickheads like him all the time in america! public school was insane so this doesn’t phase you at all. when he notices that you don’t even flinch at his crazy antics he feels
different. especially when you insult him right back like it’s nothing. you always have a come back for him and you have physically fought him (and won) on multiple occasions. it makes him start to admire and respect you (and obviously fall in loooooove)
he slowly drifts closer to you, mentally and physically. i am a stern believer in physical touch bkg like fucking fight me. he would want to always be near you so that yall will accidentally brush hands or bump shoulders, every touch sending a shock down his spine
tbh i think the only way to be able to date bkg is to also be mean and i just cannot stop thinking about FUNNY their pre!relationship would be
*bkg saying some bullshit*
you, mumbling in english “big back bitch”
bkg: HAH⁉WHATD YOU SAY⁉
we know that shoto can speak english (at least like decently) and tbh i head cannon denki speaking english as well bc idk it suits him. with that being said, whenever you say something crazy in english shoto is always like 😼 and denki is HOWLING meanwhile bkg is CRAZY jealous bc he can’t understand english
like u don’t understand bkg is soooo jealous bc u and denki bond over music, tv shows, and movies and he keeps kicking himself on passing up his parents offer to teach him english. not to mention yall whisper shit in english a LOT and you guys are not slick with how much yall be giggling. bkg is always glaring at yall whenever that happens, and there have been a couple of times where you felt bad so u told him what yall were saying and you get so happy when you see his mouth turn up into a smile while he chuckles.
this is so random but it also pisses him off when u have t shirts on with english words. so it’ll be like dinner time and he’s huffing and puffing and ur like “???” and he keeps glaring at ur shirt like “what does he have against the tv show friends like he’s never heard abt it until now???” and it wasn’t until denki was like “yooo you watch friends? that show is so stupid i love it” that he settles down. from there on out you always find a way to translate your shirts for him
AND MUSIC don’t even get me started on music. you’re singing along so passionately and he’s like. “what are they singing abt i HAVE to know” so he’ll try to be sneaky and use his phone to translate stuff. if it’s a song abt a shitty ex he’ll have the most violent urge to fly to your home state and kill the ex who made you feel like this-but if it’s like megan thee stallion? my dude is sweating and blushing but pissed bc he’s sweating and blushing and basically long story short kirishima goes up to talk to him and gets blasted in the face.
he watches all your favorite movies and tv shows (subtitles on) and he will never admit it but he loves when you whisper the translations in his ear.
another thing that peaks his curiosity is you’re friends from home! america is 14 hours behind tokyo
so talking to ur friends from home can cause difficulties. when it’s late at night the class will see you furiously texting your friends bc it’s morning time for them. sometimes on weekends you guys are able to call, so if you’re ever on call walking into the kitchen for a snack bkg is so curious as to what you and your friends would be talking abt. he always sneaks a peek and you best believe he learns all of your friends names and faces.
friend: “who was that hot guy that you were talking to?”
you: “huh? oh that’s katsuki, i told you abt him”
friend: “dude
you were totally giving him fuck me eyes”
you: “AYO DO NOT EVEN START WITH THAT SH-“
(he was looking at you with such passion and love in his eyes but ur just too dumb to see it)
you tend to crave a lot of american snacks and food, and sometimes bkg will go out to a special shop that has american shit and bring it to you.
“you wouldn’t fucking stop saying how much you wanted it so here take it nerd”
*you’re all teary bc like “omg he went out of his away to go across town to get me some stupid snacks omg im falling for him”*
you love cooking american foods/foods you grew up with for the class and you specifically yearn for bkg’s approval. you eventually learn about his love for cooking and he teaches you japanese dishes while you teach him the dishes you know. the two of you bonded so much while cooking together.
(this part is me venting so just bare with me okay) and god forbid you have a toxic ex in america that’s some fucking loser white boy bc bkg will rip that man to SHREADS. he has you cry laughing over all the insults he comes up with when you finally crack and show him a picture.
“he literally looks like a block of feta cheese yn, he looks like the type to trip on his own shoelaces. he definitely doesn’t read any higher than a ten year olds level-“
it actually ends with a sweet moment of him watching you laugh and when you two lock eyes he tells you that you deserve better, that you deserve someone who will actually treat you well. he scurries off after that bc he realizes he was too soft in that moment and you never stop thinking abt that.
eventually you get him to confess and start dating, obviously having to take it slow bc there’s no way bkg dated anyone before you. slowly figuring out everything that works for the both of you, the relationship is very loving and accepting.
bkg slowly learns all of your favorite songs and knows what they translate to. when you sing love songs to him not thinking he knows what they mean, he just smiles and says smth cheesy like “oh you must really like me huh?”
you of course teach him words in english and you try to tutor him in the language but he’s not the easiest person to teach to, especially a whole new language. but the couple of phrases you teach him are just for your sake so you can talk shit and include him in it, and he loves it so much.
(dw bc by the time he’s an adult he can speak english and his accent is SO cute and you love it so much bc everything he does is so amazing)
when the two of you get older you are able to bring him home! he meets all of your friends and family, even tho he’s literally the most nervous you’ve ever seen him. he knows english by this time but he keeps overthinking it so much, and once he’s surrounded by a bunch of people who’s first language is english he messes up a couple of times and sometimes messes up translations. he gets so mad at himself but you are able to talk him down and tell him not to be so hard on himself.
you bring him to all of your favorite restaurants and areas, shopping included. he wants to know everything about where you grew up, hoping it will somehow grow the two of you even closer to each other. once you’re in public and at restaurants you still insist on speaking japanese since that was the language the two of you used when you fell in love, and even tho you guys get weird stares you refuse to switch. bkg also enjoys it bc when it’s the two of you speaking japanese it’s like you two are in your own little world, like you two really do belong together.
but also you guys shit talk in japanese so. much. like it’s not even funny. if you have family members that you dislike, you better believe you’re whispering in his ear all about it catching him up on family lore when he meets all of your family.
that’s all i can think of rn, but god. i’m obsessed.
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evqa3 · 9 days ago
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summary: after you best friend suho slipped into a coma, you shut yourself off from everyone including your boyfriend sieun. you disappeared without a trace. months later, while visiting suho at the hospital you run into sieun for the first time in months.
pairing: yeon sieun x female!reader, bestfriend!suho x female!reader.
warnings: none!
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The only sound in the hospital room was the soft beeping of suho's heart monitor. you sat right beside his bed, hoping and waiting for him to just randomly wake up and ask if we can get food. it had been six months since the accident, six months since you last saw suho awake and annoying you, and six months since you disappeared.
ever since suho slipped into a coma you became horribly depressed, you couldn't contain the grief of losing your best friend by someone who you had considered a friend. so you stopped answering calls, you shut yourself off from everyone. you didn't even say goodbye to sieun.
especially not sieun..
you never stopped thinking about sieun tho. you would remember the way he would read through you, the way he would knew if you were upset or mad without even saying anything, the way he would wait for you by the entrance after school so you guys would walk together. but the one thing you never forgot was his warmth. the way he would wrap his arms around you at night when it was just the two of you alone.
but now you wonder if he hated you. hated you because you left him without a word. hated you because you left him while he was also grieving.
you push those thoughts away as you stood up quietly and collecting your things, before leaving you look back to suho who was still lying down in that hospital bed motionless, "i’ll see you tomorrow gremlin." gremlin was a nickname you would call suho growing up because of the way he would eat his food like he hasn't eaten in years.
you smiled softly as you turned around opening the door quietly and stepping out has if suho was fast asleep after a long night of deliveries. as you turned around you froze. there sitting on a bench in front of suho's room was sieun.
he looked the pretty much the same. his hair was little longer, his eyes were a little heavier as if he hasn't spelt in weeks. his eyes widen a little when he saw you, his breath caught up in his throat.
"y/n.." he said softly just liked he used to when you would be tangled up his arms at night, just like he used to when things were good back then.
guilt rose up pulling your words under like a tide. you didn't know what to say so you just stared at him, eyes widen a little as well. your fingers slightly shaking inside of the pocket of your jacket.
he slowly stood up from the bench, taking a step closer towards you. "i came to see suho." he said quietly. "i didn't think you'd be here.."
"i come when it's late and quiet or whenever i have the time.." you murmured softly.
he nodded as his gaze dropped down before looking back up. "i missed you. i never stopped looking for you.."
your throat tightens as you felt the guilt lingering around you. "i know." you said quietly while looking down. "i'm so sorry i left you without a word.." then you felt his arms wrap around you softly, you froze for a second before wrapping your arms around him as well.
his warmth finally wrapped around you after so long of not being in his arms. he slightly nuzzled his face against your neck before murmuring, "i’m just glad you're here now.."
for the first time in months, you let yourself breath. a sense of relief finally hitting you. you sighed deeply before letting your head rest against his shoulder. this was what you have been craving for, his warming touch against you. both hoping that everything would be okay now and that this wouldn't be the end of it.
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word count: 758!
a/n — this is my first time writing.. so don't judge if its bad.😭 i don't know... so lmk if there is any mistakes or something!! ˶ᔔ ᔕ ᔔ˶
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globaloppaaa · 9 months ago
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Hey! Can you please do "babysitting with zb1"?
i love this idea!! got started on it as soon as you sent it! thank you for requesting bb, and as always if anyone wants to request more my inbox is currently open! might need some time as school is beginning for me again.
w/a: literally the smallest hint of suggestive theme of u squint to the point that your eye are just closed.
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for hanbin, I don’t wanna say that this man has no flaws
 but he really knows how to take care of younger siblings so any child is no problem at all. Heck, he’s probably taking care of you too. He’s got a lot of experience with taking care of others that it comes like second nature to him. Leaves you little notes of encouragement around the house when things start to get too stressful :))
jiwoong is doing your job for you at this point lol. Probably the most calm when one child throws a bit of a temper tantrum. His soft voice when he communicates to them can naturally bring a smile right back to their face. I feel like taking care of younger siblings pose no challenge to him whatsoever, I mean they’re just like mini versions of you two! Maybe he’s starting to get his head stuck in the clouds with the whole “mini you” idea

If you’ve seen zb1 taking care of those twins on youtube you know well that hao does NOT know how to take care of children well. you’re lowkey đŸ€ close to kicking him out with the way he talks back to the kid as if they’re both five years old. however watching the way you’re able to calm the child down really takes him by surprise, and he finds himself more willing to learn how you take care of them so well, while ultimately keeping both him and the kids under control too.
matthew tries so hard to be the best good cop of a babysitter he can be, though sometimes he forgets that bounderies and lessons do need to be learned! is the kind of babysitter that melts at the sight of the child’s puppy eyes and gives in to whatever scheming they may have up their sleeve. next thing you know there’s paint splattered on every surface but the ones paint is supposed to be on. “how could i resist?!” he says, giving u a pout while he attempts to remove the smear on his cheek, and honestly it’s hard for you to resist when he looks at you that way too.
you can bet taerae is singing those kids one hell’ of a lullaby every night WHEWWW. We all know how soothing his voice is, perfect for stormy nights or when’s there’s still a bit too much excitement past curfew. He’s definitely more of a practical kind of babysitter if that makes sense though. “Why do they play with rocks and twigs when the big screen tv is right there?” đŸ™„đŸ€·đŸ» Kinda guy. I will say that you and taerae are especially good keeping kids entertained. They adore his energy and humor and all the little skits he’ll put on. Babysitting with him leaves everyone smiling.
ricky is so elegant with it 😭😭 I don’t think you’ve ever heard him raise his voice because the children just obey without question. It’s almost strange lol. You two work as a great team! You make up the rules (because he likes listening to you too â˜ș) and he’s the official communicator of said rules. Babysitting never feels stressful with him. His one downfall is that he will buy the kid(s) anything at anytime, and then he’ll buy YOU anything you want at anytime. He just wants you all to be happy what can he say?
gyuvin is surprisingly very good at babysitting when given instructions, knows what food is healthy and chewable, can easily make them fall asleep at curfew, and ensure the kids always keep a smile on their face. it’s hard to believe that when you run to the store, forgetting one item that all hell breaks loose. “i don’t know what to do when you’re gone.” he winces, in what looks like the most uncomfortable pose of defeat on the floor, the children jumping atop him in victory.
gunwook For sure knows what a child’s needs are, but learns all the details and the in-betweens from you! Definitely gets affected by cuteness aggression so sometimes it can be hard for him to concentrate, and then if YOU’RE there? Great, that’s a whole other distraction he’s gotta try and fail to ignore. Gunwook makes babysitting feel like a normal part of life rather than any kind of chore or job. He’s a bit head over heels on the idea of having his own family some day, and just maybeee he’s thinking about having it with you. đŸ€­
yujin i’m sorry but you’re practically taking care of him too. I’m not saying this because i think he’s a “baby”, but because he’s so socially awkward with the kids he can’t even hold eye contact lmao. For example, one of them might start to throw a tantrum out of the blue, and yujin’s solution involves him standing there watching like đŸ§đŸ»đŸ˜Ÿ. He’ll most likely start shouting your name for assistance
 he really is trying his best! I think Yujin likes to let you lead with the babysitting, while also giving him a front row seat at admiring you being so passionate about making others happy and well cared for.
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darlinluxx · 3 months ago
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— 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 | 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐎 ౚৎ
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↳ pairing : natalie scatorccio x fem!reader
fluff, smut
warnings : smut, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, smoking, dom!nat sub!reader, degradation, spit
a/n : i need her it’s not funny anymore
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- biggest fan of radiohead and hole
- she hates seeing you hurt and would try and solve problems, even if she made them worse sometimes
- it takes her a bit to open up to you, but once she does, she trusts you with everything and anything
- so sooo protective of you, she’s like your personal bodyguard
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- loves to skip school with you and take you out somewhere instead
- making out behind the bleachers before her soccer game !! she says it’s her “good luck charm”
- Nat will sneak through your window late at night because she wanted to see you
- loves casual dominance, like lifting your chin up to look up at her or opening doors for you
- absolutely loves seeing you in her clothes
- loves going on for late night drives on the weekend, no destination in mind. windows down, blaring whatever rock band she was obsessed with that week
- you end up at abandoned drive-ins, desolate beaches, places that feel like the edge of the world
- she teaches you how to hotwire cars, not because you need to, but because it was fun
- sneaking into movie theaters for free
- Nat doesn’t do small talk. she cuts through the bullshit with a rusty blade. if she thinks your new haircut was awful, she tells you. brutally, but honestly. and somehow, you appreciate it
- when she cares, she cares. late nights spent passionately making out behind the bleachers. long drawn out touches in the hallways at school. she always finds ways to make you gasp for more
- Nat is fiercely loyal. if someone messes with you, they mess with her. she defends you to the death, even if you’re wrong
- onto some complicated things, Nat has a dark side, a self-destructive streak that worries you. the drinking, the drugs, the reckless behavior—it’s all a way to escape something, but you aren’t sure what. you try to talk to her, to help her, but she just pushes you away
- she’s possessive, and sometimes, it borders on jealousy
- Nat smokes a lot. she tried to hide it from you at first, but she failed miserably
- she has a surprisingly soft spot for animals, especially stray dogs
- she’s terrible at expressing her feelings verbally, but shows them through actions and small gestures (she’s just like me fr)
- omg road trips with Nat !! spending hours driving to your destination, fueled by gas station snacks and her endless supply of cigarettes. she loves to drive, loved the feeling of leaving everything behind
- when it comes to movie nights, her taste in movies was
 eclectic. think cult classics, film noir, and anything directed by Quentin Tarantino
- you sit in her dimly lit basement, surrounded by stacks of VHS tapes, her shoulder brushing against yours as you watch some obscure film. those were the quiet moments, when she lets her guard down just a little
- the quiet moments are the most precious. sitting on the hood of Nat’s car, watching the city lights blur below late at night, listening to her play guitar (yes she plays guitar)
- Nat has a dark sense of humor. you never know if she’s being serious or not, which is both thrilling and terrifying
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nsfw ౚৎ (sorry these are so short, i’m much better at writing fluff 😭)
- i’m a strong believer she’s a top / dom !!
- loves eating you out, like could live between your thighs for the rest of her life
- such. a. tease.
- “shh, be quiet. you don’t want anyone to hear how much of a slut you’re being f’me.” đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«
- lowkey really mean but it’s ok cuz it’s Nat
- loves fucking you in front of a mirror
- loves to tease you in public and seeing you get all worked up
- her moves are deliberate and possessive
- Nat’s rough, but never intentionally hurtful
- obsessed with seeing how her words affect you
- spitting in your mouth omg ?? đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«
- when it comes to aftercare, it’s mostly just a shared cigarette. jkjk (kinda)
- she makes sure you’re okay and will literally get you anything you want
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hwaslayer · 3 months ago
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wildfire (cs) | thirteen.
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—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 7k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, we catch a lil moment with belle 🙄, crying .. lots of crying, just lots of hurt and heartache, more misunderstandings, we see a bit of parents from both sides - esp san's dynamic with his father, flashback scene with smut: oral (f. receiving), đŸ€ , praises, lots of sweet kisses and tender moments, some nipple play, soft and slow smut!!
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—a/n: fic announcement soon!
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If the texts yesterday afternoon weren't nerve-wracking enough, it was the downtime in between the texts and seeing San that had you ready to curl up in a ball out of anxiety; fetal position, rocking back and forth as an attempt to rid the feeling. San hadn't texted much after deciding the two of you should talk the following day, and you never questioned why he couldn't just see you the same night he had told you he needed to talk. 
you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.
you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭
san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.
you: that's never stopped you before... â˜č what's wrong, san?
san: we should talk, baby.
you: oh.. okay. so let's talk tonight? i just need to finish up a few things, and i'm halfway done on most of my papers and presentations. i think they can wait a bit.
san: no, you should finish up. i've got a ton of things to catch up on so tonight won't work. can we do this tomorrow? i'll come pick you up once we're both done in the lab.
you: are you sure?
san: mhm. i'm sorry again, it really just has been kinda all over the place today.
you: it's fine, san. as long as you can promise me we're okay?
san: we will be. i'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? try to take breaks and rest well.
You accepted it, even if it felt excruciating and painfully long.
These things never turn out well, and you knew your case wasn't gonna be an exception. You were afraid for it, you were nervous and you were wondering what San might do to try and lessen the blow of whatever was coming.
He wouldn't hurt you, right?
He meant it when he said you two would be okay, right?
Even if he tried to be as reassuring, everything about it felt off and cryptic. None of it felt like sunshine and rainbows, none of it felt like the San you felt in love with. None of it felt like the giddy excitement, the comfort, the safety you had come to know and love. 
You hated automatically assuming the worse, but nothing was preventing you from doing so— not even San.
Today was actually pretty uneventful, nonetheless. Despite the wait and silence from San, you felt like you managed to get by in one piece. It still felt like everyone was looking at you; like they had all known your deepest, darkest secrets. Like they had been following your every move, especially while you were with San. It still felt awful, but you had learned how to push aside because people could talk and assume— but they would never know the true story.
And who knows? Even if you tried to explain yourself, they wouldn't get it.
You didn't really owe that explanation to anyone, you think.
The only other weird part about your day was when you had tried to help Belle earlier since you had some downtime and she brushed you off completely. She had been avoiding you, and it was pretty obvious she was letting the talk get to her head. She didn't maintain eye contact with you, she didn't acknowledge you, and she didn't talk to you the way that she used to.
—FLASHBACK
You walk into the lab, passing by a few of your labmates with a tiny, toothless smile etched on your lips. There was no Sunwoo around, but there was Belle; yet, she still hadn't turned to acknowledge your presence. You had gotten through your to-do list for Sunwoo's project, leaving you with extra time to spare today. You hadn't been able to dedicate a lot of your support to Belle lately due to all those technical issues you needed to troubleshoot for your project with Sunwoo, and you figured this would be a good time to make up for it.
Unless she had other plans.
"Hey Belle!" You come to her desk, pulling the courage from deep down within you to approach her first. She looks up at you, a brow cocked up before returning her attention to her laptop. "I have some time to help—"
"No thanks, I'm good." She doesn't look at you. "Just so you know, I don't really need extra help anymore. I've got everything figured out already."
"Oh, okay." You step away from her desk, fiddling with your fingers while you stand there looking dumb. "Are you sure?" She pauses her typing before finally looking back up at you with her brows knit tightly together. 
"I just said it, didn't I?"
"I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure since I had the time and I haven't been able to help you out as much cause of Sunwoo's project."
"Why don't you go and use your extra time with Professor Choi since you've been doing that anyway?" She gives you a look that settles in the pit of your stomach. You don't say anything to her, even as she shuts her laptop close and stands— brushing past you to get to one of the behavior rooms. You feel a bit hurt, and your other labmates aren't even paying attention to the whole thing; or, maybe they are, and they just don't wanna say anything to dig deeper into the wound. 
So, you turn on your heel with your head down, returning to your desk to continue your data analysis in silence.
—END
You try to tell yourself that it doesn't really matter— that you didn't need anyone's reassurance or validation. It hurt despite not being super close to Belle, but you knew she thought of you in a different light now and that wasn't really fair. You could see how it'd look problematic on the surface, but you thought she knew you better than that.
Guess it's also your fault for assuming.
When it's time for San to pick you up at your usual pick-up spot, you grab your keys and head out— still not having changed out of your outfit for the day. You try to take slow steps to not seem too eager, but you can't help it when you see San parked in his usual spot. This time though, he isn't watching for you in the rear view mirror. 
"Hey." You swing the door open and slide in. San gives you a small smile, followed by a:
"Hey." He watches as you dip forward to kiss him on the lips like you always do, and he surprisingly takes it. You were getting ready for the rejection or some kind of pull back; but, to San's own knowledge, he did it because he knew it'd be the last time he could savor it.
"You okay? Were you able to finish everything you needed to?"
"Uh, yeah. Think so." He says with a subtle chuckle before driving off. 
"Are we going to your house?"
"Thought we could sit at the view and talk, if that's okay with you?" You slowly nod, keeping your eyes trained on San as he drives.
"Okay. You're scaring me, Sannie." He shakes his head. 
"Please don't be."
"Then why couldn't we just talk about this like normal at your place?"
"Y/N, you trust me, right?" He quickly looks at you as he comes across a red light. You silently nod, just in time for him to drive off and continue onto the destination. "Okay, so trust me." He's still being so cryptic and distant that you don't even know how to respond. You quietly sit back in your chair and watch the surroundings pass you by, trying to settle the queasiness you feel building in your stomach.
These things never go well, and your case doesn't seem to be a one-off.
San continues to remain silent as he drives the rest of the way to the view, the music softly filling in as background noise that's enough to distract you. When he pulls into the small empty side lot and parks his car, he lets out a sigh and sits back.
"How was your day today?" He asks softly, still avoiding contact with you.
"It was okay, I guess. Better than yesterday."
"That's good."
"San." You adjust your position so you're looking directly at him, body facing him. "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"
"I don't know where to start."
"You have to start somewhere." He sighs again. "You know, whatever it is, you can tell me. We can figure this out together." You raise your hand to cup his cheek, almost somewhat of a gesture to force him to look at you. And for a minute, you feel him relax under your touch. You can tell he wants to turn and kiss the palm of your hand like he usually does, but he doesn't. "Sannie—"
"We should stop this." Your mouth slightly drops even though you don't know what to say. Your eyes widen, your touch turns cold. You retreat your hand while you let the response sink, San still keeping his gaze out of the window because he truly can't dare to look at you right now.
He'll fold.
He'll forget all about this and risk everything for the both of you.
He shouldn't.
"W-what?"
"We need to stop this, Y/N." He finally looks at you and his gaze feels like an icebox. Everything feels so cold and distant, even if it's supposed to be a front; it's working, and it's fucking you up completely.
"All of a sudden? I-I thought we were fine, what happened? What did I do wrong?" He shakes his head.
"Nothing. It's not anything you did, I'm just trying to be realistic here."
"Realistic? I thought you didn't care about the outside noise?"
"We're only prolonging the inevitable, don't you get it? Everything is going to come crashing down on us whether we like it or not. No matter how hard I try to stop it, this is what it'll eventually come to." You don't really understand where he's coming from or what he's getting at, but it's too late— you feel the tears steadily streaming down your cheeks.
Then, you're sobbing into your hands and you feel pathetic. But San feels terrible, he hates this. He doesn't wanna do this but he's conflicted between right and wrong, between being selfish and letting you go. "San, why?"
"Y/N, please hear me out on this, okay?" He's barely able to answer.
"Why? You ask him again. You cry in his passenger's seat, wiping it away with your sweater sleeves. "You said I could trust you, a-and that you wouldn't hurt me because you didn't care about anyone else."
"I need you to understand that I'm doing this because I care about you."
"But, I love you." San shakes his head as tears streak his own cheeks.
"We're being too selfish." He looks at you. "I am. I'm being too selfish and I don't need this to ruin things for you more. I need to put you first—"
"Why do you get to decide what that looks like for me, San?" He doesn't respond. "So, you don't want this?" He lets out a shaky sigh. "Us?"
"That's far from how I feel and you know it."
"Why can't you just say it back? Why can't we just let this be? I don't care—" You tug on his arm and he grips your hand before shaking his head.
"Because this is already hard as it is. Y/N, listen to me." He pleads, cupping your cheeks. He finally looks deep into your eyes, his thumb gently caressing the surface. The life in his eyes are gone. The glow, the stars. Now, his eyes are dull. They're holding back. They don't show you anything. "We should stop. We need to. Namjoon and the dean are discussing your future at the school, and I need you to keep going in this program. I need you to keep going forward even if that means I can't be right there with you every step of the way. You deserve to be here and you deserve to finish this until the very end. You've worked so hard to get here, and I refuse to let them lose out on you simply because of me."
"This makes no sense to me. Why do we have to do this? We can just be more careful and plan better. We can just—"
"I'm trying to protect you." 
"Protect me? From Namjoon and the dean? Or are you trying to protect yourself?"
"I don't give a damn about me, Y/N!" He's a little angrier with this response but you know it isn't directed towards you. It's towards Namjoon. The dean. Yunho and Iseul. This whole fucked up situation. "I'm always gonna put you first. It's always been about you and it'll always be about you." You cry a bit harder at his answer, unsure of what to make of this entire thing. You don't know if San really means this or if he is just trying to protect you. You don't know what to do, you don't know if you should keep trusting him the same way. 
You don't know if you can, and that's probably because you're blinded by all the overwhelming emotions you're feeling right now.
The both of you sit in this thick silence, your cries now filling the space while San tries to muster up the last bit of his energy to try and make you feel better— to get you to understand this better.
It's not that he wants to, he has to.
"I don't—" He swallows thickly. "I don't wanna do this but I have to. You have to understand." He says at a whisper, more tears streaming down his red-stained cheeks. "You have to understand, baby. Please." He begs. "I don't want them to do anything to you and I don't wanna jeopardize your future. Just listen to me. We have to do this." He leans forward to cup your cheeks and wipe your tears away with his thumb.
"No, we don't." You almost whine, but all San can do is shake his head and sit back in his seat.
"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I have to do what's best for you." His voice shakes. "I really am so sorry, sweetheart." He answers lowly, wiping his remaining tears before retreating back into his shell and showing off his cold demeanor for the remainder of his time with you. "I should get you back."
"I should've never trusted you. I should've known this was all too good to be true. You didn't care." You cry, repeating all this nonsense to try and get him to hurt the same way as you somehow. Because he'll never understand. Everything had led up to this and you were still unprepared for this. Even though you knew you'd be here at some point, nothing would have ever prepared you for the way your heart drops to your stomach; the way you feel nothing but thunder and rain.
Blue and grey.
He does, though.
In fact, he's probably hurting the most because he had to pull the trigger and let you go.
He hates it. He fucking hates it. 
He's trying to drown out the rest until he gets you back to your building because he can't take it. He can't take hearing you cry anymore, he can't take hearing you say these awful things because you're angry at the moment. He hopes that you'll see where he's coming from eventually because all he's ever wanted to do was protect you and keep you safe.
All he's ever done was care about you, and you only.
All he's ever felt was love for you, and you only. You showed him what love was like again and he'll never take that for granted.
This was him showing you love. He needed to put you first.
"I care about you more than anything. I'm trying to do what's best—"
"Without involving me? Deciding for me? Yeah." You wipe away at your cheeks once more before unbuckling your seatbelt. "Whatever San, save it." You tell him before swinging the door open and stepping out. "You were just trying to protect me. I get it."
"Baby, don't be like that. Please don't make this harder than it already is. I would never intentionally hurt you. You know this." He tries to reach for your hand, but you move it away.
"You don't get to call me that anymore." You roll your eyes. "Anyway, goodluck, San." Is all you say before slamming his door shut and storming off. You begin to cry to yourself again, feeling sorry for yourself and stupid. You know deep down that San was only trying to do the right thing and that he was trying to protect you. But, right now, you're angry, you're sad, you're upset. You feel empty and betrayed and you just need to feel this out in order to let it pass.
This too shall pass.
When you head upstairs, you quickly pack up a few things, along with your laptop and other school-related necessities before locking up and heading to your car. You feel a migraine coming on, which definitely means you should take it easy and stay behind; but, all you can think about is getting to your mom and being away from school for a few days.
Nothing's better than a mother's love and comfort, even though you aren't entirely sure how she's gonna react to this, how she'll feel about San.
In the end, you don't hate him. 
You can't.
You could never.
—FLASHBACK
"That was a good girl's date, wasn't it? We got massages, our nails done. Now we're eating a banana split under this nice weather." Your mom chuckles. "You need to come home more often."
"I know, I know." You scoop up a good helping of the banana split, internally conflicted on when is a good time to let your mom know about what's been going on. She would probably be surprised and scared for you, but your mom had a good way of choosing her words. She had a good way of being there for you but making her concerns known without pointing fingers or putting any blame on your actions.
"How has school been? Your friends?"
"They've been good. We've all been busy with our labs."
"Jiung's been good? You think you guys are all gonna stay in the labs you're currently rotating in?"
"He's good, yeah. And I think so, they all seem to be enjoying it."
"How about you?" You poke at the banana before scooping another helping. Your mom can already tell there's something else on your mind, but she's gonna let you take the floor and open up about it when you're ready.
Which is now. 
You just don't know if she's ready.
"Uh, yeah. It's been good!" You give her a small smile. "I'm still deciding on my route, but it's been good." Pause. "There's actually something else I've been meaning to tell you."
"Okay, try me!" She chuckles. "What is it?"
"I've been seeing someone."
"Oh?" She laughs. "Well, isn't that great?! I mean, you never needed a man, okay. But, as long as they make you happy and add value to your life. I just want you happy." She laughs. "Who is he, where did you meet? Tell me everything!" You sigh and take a deep breath before starting.
"We met at school. In the lab. Because.. he's my rotation professor." You give her a look, afraid of what she'll say. She stops mid-bite and almost chokes, setting her spoon down before looking at you with knitted brows.
"Your.. what?! Y/N—"
"Mom, please. Just hear me out before you start assuming and saying things. He didn't abuse his power, I didn't throw myself on him, okay? It just happened." You immediately say and look at her with puppy eyes. "We just happened. We grew feelings for each other and just clicked really well. We've been keeping things lowkey."
"But, Y/N. Honey, I say this sincerely. What if people find out? Not that I want them to, but they will." You shrug.
"I don't know, we'll figure it out."
"H-how old is he?"
"32."
"Oh, okay. He's young."
"And handsome." You rest your chin on the palm of your hand and smile. "His name is San. Choi San. He's pretty popular in the bioengineering and neuroscience world."
"That's good." Your mom is slightly shutting down and you know it's because her thoughts are traveling at 100mph and she doesn't know what to think or do.
Or say.
"Mom, I'm sorry. I know you're worried but I'll be fine, okay? I promise. It'll all be fine." You add to break the silence and reach for her hand.
"I just don't want him to hurt you and then you lose everything you've worked so hard for over him."
"I just don't know where this is gonna take us. Things feel too overwhelming. Like.. I just don't want any talk getting into his head about us."
"It could really ruin things for the both of you, Y/N. Please be smart about your actions. Don't throw everything away because of him. That's all I ask. Just by the looks of it, I know he makes you happy and you're riding cloud nine, but you need to remember who comes first— yourself."
"I know. I hear you. I don't mean to cause any unnecessary worry or anything."
"No, you're not. Lovey, I'm your mom, I'm always gonna worry regardless. But, I trust you enough to make the right decisions and to take care of yourself. I know you'll be smart and I know you won't be completely reckless. I'm not gonna lie, this— this isn't a 'conventional' relationship and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet." She sighs and looks at you with a hint of concern in her eyes. "I'm trying hard to see this from your side, not from my side, and I think it'll take me time to get used to. In the end, I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't want people to think bad about you, and I don't want you to lose everything you've worked so hard for."
"I know, but it's all okay. I promise." You promise her, but you don't even know if you believe the promise yourself. "You can trust him." She doesn't say much, and you can tell she's trying her hardest to swallow her true emotions.
"Just becareful."
—END
San picks up the phone to call Namjoon, hands slightly trembling. He's still sitting in his car, still sitting in the same spot because it's his turn to cry and let out all his feelings. He hits the steering wheel before running a hand through his hair, second-guessing all his decisions.
Why did it have to come down to all of this? Did he really have to? How long before he folds and comes back to you?
Before he says fuck this all together and chases after you?
He keeps trying to remind himself that he needs to protect you and let this blow over. He keeps trying to remind himself that it'll all be worth it and you both will find your way back to each other again.
In time.
"San."
"It's over with." Is all he is able to say before Namjoon lets out a small sigh on the other end.
"I'm sorry, San. Look, just give this time—" Quite frankly, he doesn't wanna hear it anymore. Not today, not tomorrow, not for awhile.
"It's fine." He cute him off. "You don't have to say it. Just please make sure nothing happens to her."
"You got my word. I'll figure this out. Don't worry." San ends the call before he's digging his head into his hands and cries.
And cries.
And cries.
Because now his days are going to blend back to the black and white filter he used to have on. He'll never experience that warmth, those colors, without you around.
He'll never witness where the sea meets the sky, when the sun sinks below the horizon. When dawn meets dusk. 
His days will be monotone and dull, lifeless and cold. Gloomy. Days he had prayed to get past and never return to.
But, he's here again.
And somehow, this pain feels worse this time around than the first time.
—FLASHBACK
San sighs when he pulls up to his parents' house, aggressively shifting the gear to park before taking a moment to himself. He wasn't happy when his father left him a voicemail, scolding him for the rumors going around about him dating his student. He was quick to call him names and demand him to make things right before his name could be tainted in the industry. San isn't gonna lie, he's always looked up to his father. Things changed when San started making a name for himself in the academic industry, creating some kind of competitive tension between the two. Well, San never felt that way. His dad strongly did though, for whatever reason.
He never understood it. It's whatever.
What San wasn't having was the fact that his father kept calling you a little girl who only wanted to use him to work her way in and up.
He slams the door to his car, adjusting his hat and his jacket before tapping the code into the keypad on the front door.
"San, is that you?" He hears his mom's sweet voice call out to him. He smiles softly when she comes into view in the hallway, opening her arms for a hug. "Please don't mind your father, you know how he is. He's just concerned." She gives the back of his neck a reassuring massage.
"Mm, yeah. I can feel the concern especially when he starts calling me out my name."
"San." His mom gives him a look before his dad looks up from the paper he's reading on the couch, forehead crinkling when he sees his son walk in.
"Why are you here?"
"Hi to you, too." San says while his mom steps in the middle.
"Honey." She turns to his father.
"So, what was up with that voicemail?" 
"Why don't you tell us what's been going on with you and your so-called girlfriend? Do you even care about yourself or what this could do to your career? You're so careless—"
"So what if I'm careless! You don't even know her so you don't have a right to do that!"
"Are you actually that stupid, San? Do you know how damaging this could be for you, for us?"
"What does this have to do with you?!" San's voice raises. 
"It has everything to do with us! Everyone thinks you either forced that girl into a relationship or she threw herself on you and you stupidly took the bait!"
"Even if I said it wasn't like that, you wouldn't listen anyway!"
"Are you serious about her?"
"What makes you think I'm not? We're two grown adults who are capable of making our own decisions and knew the consequences from the very beginning."
"And you think she'll stay? Someone that young and who is just getting started with her life, basically. You think she'll stay and be there for you when times get rough?"
"Absolutely." His dad scoffs.
"Is that so? Wishful thinking. You couldn't even keep Iseul and now you're downgrading to a st—"
"Hey!" San's mom cuts off his father's statement. "That is enough from you. Don't finish that sentence."
"You have no idea what Iseul put me through!" San's tone is louder to match his father's energy. "I found somebody who genuinely and truly cares about me and who I am. That isn't enough for you? Just because she's a student, but a grown adult at that?! You can't even be happy for a second? You still find a way to be on Iseul's side even though she cheated with my bestfriend!"
"Maybe it's time you realized you pushed Iseul away. That was your own doing. And this girl? Don't come to me and make me tell you 'I told you so' when she leaves after she's gotten everything she needs from you." San's dad is fuming in front of him. "How could you be so sure things will be smooth sailing with her, hm? What makes you think this can work?"
"This is fucking bullshit, I'm not explaining myself to you. If you don't wanna be happy for me and support me, then so be it."
—END
San thinks maybe his dad was right; maybe this wasn't meant to be, and was just supposed to be another fleeting moment, another lesson.
Even though deep down, he knows it's far from it.
As he sits in his home office, he scrolls through old pictures of you and him together— you, pictures you've sent him. He feels the rush of sadness hit him like bricks, his chest almost physically hurting from the ache. He has this sudden urge to text you and call you, tell you how much he misses you.
But, he stops himself.
What if you stopped caring? What if you were so mad at him that you hated him?
He couldn't bear with it.
If only he knew how much you cried and yearned for him every night, if only he knew how much your head hurt while you laid on your mom's lap while she ran her hands through your hair— gently cooing you and shushing you to help you get some sleep.
If only he knew.
"Mom, I'm sorry." You cry and cry, laying your head on her lap as you let everything out. "You were right, I messed everything up. This was all so stupid. I'm so stupid."
"Don't say that." She shushes you and tries to coo you. "Don't ever say that again." She looks at you. "What happened?" You gather the strength to tell her everything that's been going on. How deep your relationship went with San and how well he took care of you. How you weren't always the most careful but the only reason why things blew up was because of Hae-jin, Iseul and Yunho. How Iseul and Yunho just keep trying to get in between, how Jiung even went to Professor Kim about all of this.
How San broke this off claiming he wanted to protect you and put you first.
How utterly sad and betrayed you feel.
"I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I hate how alone I feel. I hate how much I miss him. I hate how this unfolded the way it did."
"I'm so sorry, honey. You need to let things be for now, okay? I know that's not what you wanna hear, but you need to. Especially for school and yourself."
"Why does anyone care? Why does it matter?"
"People have nothing better to do, and I'm sorry it had to be those two and Jiung."
"I'm so tired, mom. When will this pass? What did I do wrong? Why did he leave so quickly?"
"Lovey. You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you at all, and it wasn't San either. The circumstances are just tough. You didn't know it would play out this way and I'm sure he has his reasons."
"What if he's just using that as an excuse? What if he really doesn't want this anymore?"
"If he really cared about you, why would he lie, Y/N? I'm sure he was doing his best to protect you both, especially you. I know it hurts right now, hun. But, maybe this is for the best." You don't wanna hear it even though your mom might be right.
Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this was just telling you this could never work between you two.
No matter how hard you both tried.
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San's urge to text or call doesn't lessen as the next few days go by, especially when he notices he hasn't seen any trace of you. He'll usually see you walking towards the biology building for Yunho's class or making your way to the dining hall with the girls.
If San hadn't overheard Sunwoo telling his lab mates that you were sick, he would've gone crazy.
It still doesn't help that you're feeling unwell and he can't do anything about it.
"Sunwoo." San pokes his head out of his door, causing Sunwoo to lift his head from his laptop and shift his attention towards him. "Can you meet really quickly?"
"Yeah, sure thing. Be right over!"
"Thanks." San heads back to his desk and lets out a breath, waiting for Sunwoo to come. It takes him less than 5 minutes to finally make his way into the office, rubbing his hands down his jeans. "Hey." San looks up at him. "Thanks for coming in on short notice."
"No prob! What's up, Professor Choi?"
"I wanted to talk to you really quickly because I wanted you to hear it from me directly. Starting next week, we'll be losing Y/N's support. She'll be heading to Professor Kim's lab."
"O-oh. Okay. Damn." Sunwoo ticks his head to the side. "Professor Kim with the steal." San chuckles a bit.
"Yeah." San can't even hide his sadness when he looks down at the papers beneath his hands that Sunwoo catches on and he feels bad. He still doesn't know the details and he never will, but if it's one thing he can gather right now, it's the fact that the room feels cold and empty.
It's the fact that San literally has to force himself to smile and deliver this news like all is okay and no big deal— when in fact, it fucking is.
Sunwoo feels so bad.
"So, I know she's out sick right now, but will I still get to see her before she goes? I wanna talk to her to wrap things up, too."
"When she returns, we'll make sure she has time to close loose ends with you and gather her things."
"Hm." Sunwoo nods slowly. "Okay."
"I'm sorry this came up so suddenly, but I had to make a few changes around here. We all thought she'd be a better fit with Professor Kim." 
"I see. She's super smart and incredibly great at what she does, I know she'll do well in whatever she does and wherever she goes." San nods.
"Yeah, she will." He sighs. "There's another rotation student that I might bring in next quarter that might be a good fit to work with you, too. His name is Baehyuk."
"Cool. Down to meet whenever the time is right."
"Thanks, Sunwoo."
"No, thank you for always giving me some help and pushing me forward." San gives him a small smile. "Everything will work out."
"Yeah." Is all he could say in response. Because he hopes it will. 
Right now, it seems like a far reach.
All San wants to do is love you, rather than hiding just how deeply in love he was with you.
—FLASHBACK
"Here, baby." He turns to hand you a plate with a smile on his face. "Think you can help me dry the last of these dishes and put 'em up?"
"Course, chef." He chuckles, watching as you tip-toe with nothing but his shirt on to reach over and place the dry dishes into the proper cabinet. You follow suit with the last three dishes, setting the towel aside while San wipes away the water droplets around the sink. "We did it, babe! All clean."
"Sure did." He laughs, caging you in against the counter to kiss you sweetly. "Thank you, baby."
"You're welcome." You giggle. "Thank you for making dinner."
"As long as you enjoyed." You nod.
"What do you wanna do for the rest of the evening?"
"Mm, we can watch a movie and fall asleep here on the couch without any worry."
"That's fun." You smile.
"Or, we can do other things that I have in mind." He brushes the hair away from your face while you wrap your arms around his neck.
"Ooh." You reply in a sing-song tone. "Care to indulge?"
"Absolutely." He says just as he swiftly carries you and wraps your legs around him. You squeal as he walks over to the couch and gently plops you down onto the soft cushions, wasting no time to attach his lips to every inch of skin he can. He slowly hovers over you, hands roaming up your shirt and tugging material along with it as he continues to move upward— exposing your cute pink panties from beneath. He sinks to his knees and pries your legs open after fixing your position to the edge of the couch. "Let me make you feel good, love."
"Yes please, Sannie. Please." You beg, watching as San slides down your panties and tosses them aside. His hands caress your thighs, giving them a good squeeze while laying open-mouth kisses along the surface. You continue to watch him, biting on your lip when he hovers over where you need him at most. He licks a stripe up your folds, causing your head to cock back against the cushion. He begins to gently kiss and suck at your heat— a satisfying, breathy moan leaving your lips as you let San relish being in between your thighs. He laps away at your clit, tonguing down your pussy as if he had been deprived of you for years.
You love/hate how good he is at this. "Babe—" You moan loudly, hips now working on their own terms against his mouth. He subtly nods as he continues to suck and lap away at your heat, tongue keeping you wet and filthy; just the way he likes it. "God, right there—" You whine, hips rolling upward and grinding against his mouth, his tongue. 
You used to be so shy.
Now, you're not afraid to tell him what you want and he fucking loves it. "Oh—San— gonna—" Your statement comes out broken as you continue to work against his mouth, orgasm crashing down like a harsh wave against the shore. You grip his hair, body twitching as San continues to latch on and groan against your pussy; incredibly hard while watching the way your body surrenders all. "Fuck." You whisper, still twitching due to the aftershocks from your first orgasm of the night. 
"That's my girl." He's back to kissing your thighs, hands gently rubbing up and down your leg as a way to soothe you. 
"Need you." You tug him by the shirt to plant a messy kiss against his lips— shirt soon to be discarded on the floor, along with his sweats.
Now you're on his lap, slowly riding his cock just the way he likes it— the couch's throw blanket resting against the small of your back and draped along San's lap.
It's his favorite position after all.
"Mm— just like that, baby." He whispers against your lips as you continue to ride him slowly on the couch. "Just like that." He repeats. "You're my good girl, right? Just mine?" He asks lowly and you nod, letting out a sweet moan as he pinches your nipple and watches your head tilt back in pleasure. "Oh, fuck— just like that." His head rests back against the couch, feeling your walls brush against him and drag against his rock hard cock. "All mine."
"Mm'fuck, Sannie." You keep your head back, intense pleasure bubbling at the pit of your stomach. You take him slowly, deeply; his cock hitting all the right spots every time you do a 'lil tug and pull— hips carefully rolling against him. 
"So fucking sexy." He groans. "God, you're everything." His lips drag against your skin, tongue swirling around your perky nipples as your hands tug on the ends of his soft, black hair. "Everything to me." He whispers as if your skin could hold all of the universe's secrets. The blanket is barely keeping up with your movements. San's hand comes up along the base of your neck, bringing you back down to envelope your lips with his. 
The kiss is full of hunger.
The kiss is slow and steady.
The kiss is messy.
You break the kiss first, body slowly crumbling in his grip when you feel your high approaching quick. You moan loudly, breath ragged as you pant; hips slightly picking up the pace to push yourself further and further until you reach the edge.
"Oh—" San matches your moans. "That's it, sweetheart. Cum for me." He praises you, voice deep— tone sending vibrations all the way down to your core. "Give it to me. Wanna feel you cum all over this dick, angel." Hearing San talk the way he's talking is enough to make your coil snap. He continues to coo you as you come undone on his lap; stuttering in your movements and trembling in his grip. He places his hands on your hips, fingers digging deep into the flesh while he fucks up into you— reaching his high shortly after you with a loud groan and hiss. "Fuck, that was so good, baby." You giggle, forehead against his while his hands gently caress and your back. You leave a tender kiss against his plump lips, and he chases with a few repeated kisses before bringing you down with him on the couch. The both of you lay underneath the throw blanket, now properly covering most of your bodies while San holds you from behind. He has his propped up by an arm while you both watch the show on TV, but San finds his thoughts wandering elsewhere at some point. He begins to look around the house and notices how different it feels since you've been around.
Good different.
A space that used to he so grey, so lifeless; now has remnants of you everywhere.
Your polaroids.
Pictures of you and San in frames.
Your little stuffed animal keychains and rings thrown onto the kitchen island, or the room. Or even his desk in the office.
Your little post-it notes. Your favorite chips and snacks littered around the pantry.
You were there everywhere he turned, and he finds it's one of his biggest blessings.
Especially when you lay here on the couch with him, completely not minding the idea San proposed of just falling asleep on the couch together while sorting through movies.
You agreed so quickly and so happily.
No matter how big or small, most ideas just seemed silly in his last relationship.
But, now he has you— someone who is happy to just be with him and spend time with him. No matter how big or small the idea, the plans.
San loves you.
And he'll never take it for granted.
—END
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