#especially when it comes to her family because she was just left alone. like completely alone

[web-spinning]

Oh gods she's so beautiful like I'm a gay dude and I know she's beautiful look at her

[toasttt11]

the right boy

summary: being in love with your childhood best friend isn’t always the right choice maybe the cute hockey player is the right boy?

jj mccarthy x reader, luke hughes x reader

Growing up with the McCarthy family and being best friends with JJ especially. From going high school together to being accepted into Michigan University together, the two were always glued to each other sides.

Anyone with eyes could tell JJ was in love with her just as she is in love with him, what no one could figure out is why neither had confessed yet.

She did and admitted to her feelings to JJ one night in her dorm and JJ was stunned didn’t say anything back but kissed his best friend back.

They ended up falling into bed together and fell asleep after and when JJ woke up way before her and realized the consequences of getting in a romantic relationship with his best friend, he quickly put on his clothes and grabbed his stuff and left her dorm.

Leaving her to wake up in a bed all alone. Humiliated and upset with him and herself. She confessed her love and she woke up naked and alone.

JJ ignored her the whole week and the first time she actually saw him was a week later as she was heading up the stairs up to his room, as a party is going on in the Football house and she was told that JJ is in his room.

She knocked on the door before opening it and freezing at the sight in front of her, A bleach blonde sorority girl who JJ has said he did not like at all but she was on JJ’s lap straddling him.

JJ looked up at the sound of the door and his eyes widen drastically and his heart dropped seeing who was in the door, he immediately pushed the girl off him and was chasing after his best friend who was already down the stairs and quickly hurrying through the party to outside.

“Rosie! Rosie! Stop!” JJ called after his best friend, using the nickname she got when they were young and she would make rose crowns and make everyone wear them, JJ saw her slowing down but not turning towards him.

“What’s wrong?” JJ questioned seeing the tears on her face and the way she ran out of the house

She just looked at, “Why?” She asked the question she had been wanting to know.

“Why What?” JJ asked looking extremely confused.

“If you didn’t feel the same why did you kiss me back.” She demanded towards him glaring at him with tears still in her eyes.

JJ blanched looking pale, “Ro- i do feel something for you, i have for years.” He desperately spoke moving forward to hold her hands but his heart broke even more seeing her flinch away from his touch.

“In Love? So in love that you kissed me back after hearing my confession and didn’t say if you felt the same, then slept with me but was gone before i woke up and completely ignored me for a week only to stop ignoring me because i found you making out with someone else. Yeah JJ i’m sure you are so in love with me.” She sarcastically nodded watching JJ’s face fall the more she spoke.

“Rosie that’s not-“ JJ desperately tried to get out knowing how bad he screwed up, especially knowing he’s been kinda messing with her on accident, didn’t help he asked her to be his prom date in high school and bought her flowers and everything, always touching her and letting her wear his jerseys. JJ always denied it when anyone asked about his feelings for her because he was scared and know he realizes that wasn’t a good idea.

“Save it JJ.” She cut him off sniffling, “I’m done. I’m done trying to read into all of your double sided actions, I’m done trying to be there when you’re sleeping around with half the girls in the school and come cuddling up to me after. I’m done letting you stomp all over me.” She spat out all the words she had been holding on for years.

She quickly turned around and started walking away ignoring his calls after her and continued the walk home.

“Fuck!” JJ cursed as slammed his foot against the light post watching her continue to walk away eventually until she was out of sight.

She stopped going to anything football related and blocked JJ’s number and ignoring anyone who contacted her that is connected to JJ, making all of the McCarthy family sad and confused why she wasn’t talking to them until JJ admitted he screwed up.

It was a few weeks later and she was sitting in the library working on her history assignment when she heard someone clear their throat, she looked up seeing Luke Hughes standing there with a nervous look messing with the straps of his backpack.

“Is it okay-“ He asked gesturing to the empty seat next to, “Everywhere else is full.” And he wasn’t wrong the whole library was packed of students.

“Sure.” She nodded softy and looking back down at her assignment, blowing out a frustrated breath when her hair fell and covered her face.

“Your McCarthy’s Girl?” Luke hesitantly questioned knowing who she was since he started at Umich and saw her at a party and she was sophomore then and he thought she was stunning but knew he didn’t have any chance as JJ was her boyfriend.

“I am not JJ’s girl.” She looked up sternly speaking as she glared at the cute curly haired boy.

“Sorry, just everyone thinks that.” Luke flushed apologizing quickly not meaning to offend her, but also feeling hopeful that she might be single.

“It’s okay, but JJ lost his chance and i’m moving on.” She explained shaking her head knowing Luke didn’t mean anything bad when he asked. And she wasn’t lying about moving on the more she remembered how bad JJ has treated her the easier it has been to start moving on.

“That’s good, i mean sorry?” Luke awkwardly scratched his head, She couldn’t help but let a laugh at how awkward but adorable he looks, she hasn’t laughed for days, Luke perked up smiling happily hearing her laugh because of him.

Luke started coming back everyday and sitting next to her getting to learn a little more and more about her each day, he also noticed she always seemed frustrated with her hair, always looking annoyed when it fell her face but never putting it up.

“I have a question.” Luke spoke leaning his chin on his hand looking at her as she was writing onto her notebook.

She looked up setting her pen down giving him her full attention, “Shoot.”

“Why don’t you put your hair up? You always seemed annoyed by that.” Luke questioned noticed the many times she gets very annoyed by her hair.

“Uh when i put my hair up i get headaches pretty quickly so i’m just stuck with it being in the way all the time.” She looked away slightly trying to ignore the warmth growing on her cheeks as she realized Luke noticed that but she was not suprised as Luke is very sweet and attentive.

“Why not cut it short?” Luke softly questioned frowning, His mom always has her hair short too because she hates it long so he wondered why she hasn’t cut her hair short.

“I’ve been told i look better with long hair.” She awkwardly explained thinking of the time that JJ told her short hair just didn’t look good on her and she should keep her hair long.

“That’s bullshit, you’ll look great with either hair length. But it’s more important that you’re comfortable and your hair now seems to not do that.” Luke reached over gently squeezing her hand giving her a meaningful look, “Whoever said that is stupid because you’re absolutely beautiful and your hair is not gonna change that.” Luke smiled softly at her reassuring her.

She felt her eyes soften as she listened to Luke speak and she hated feeling her heart race a little faster remembering how it did that around JJ, “Thanks Lu” She smiled softly squeezing his hand back and she knew she had to rethink about getting her haircut short.

A month later she had slowly felt she was moving on and really healing from all of the pain, she had talked to the rest of the McCarthy’s besides JJ and they all understood why she didn’t talk to them for a little while.

A big part of moving on was because of Luke, she has spent most of her free time with Luke and has went to more hockey games in the last month than her last three years at Umich.

Luke’s friends are lovely and easily accepted her in their group making her feel as if she gained multiple brothers.

She had just came back from a hair appointment where she finally decided to chop her hair off and it was above her shoulders now and it felt so incredible.

She headed to Luke’s dorm and walked down the hallway to his dorm knocking on the door waiting for Luke to open the door.

Luke smiled hopping of his bed hearing the knock and knew who it was, he opened the door and froze seeing her, “Yo-You cut your hair!” Luke stuttered out looking shocked.

She smiled bashfully tucking her shorter hair behind her ear, “I did.” She has to admit she really liked how she looks with the short hair and regretted listening to JJ and not cutting it sooner.

“It looks beautiful.” Luke softly spoke, thinking she looks more herself with the haircut and he never thought she could get even more beautiful but with her new hair, she definitely did.

“Yeah?” She asked hopefully her dimples showing up from smiling up at him.

Luke smiled at her gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, “Beautiful.” His eyes flickered between her eyes and lips.

She smiled even wider, “Thank you.” She softly mumbled.

Over the past few weeks of knowing Luke, she began to feel more herself and smiled easier with him. He made her feel in the way not even JJ even made her feel.

She accepted the fact that she has feelings for Luke, feelings that are only growing stronger and stronger every day.

Luke smiled softly seeing her smiling and his hand stayed on her cheek gently rubbing her cheekbone.

“Kiss me?” She hopefully whispered, looking up at him.

Luke froze his eyes widening in shock and hope, “Kiss you?” His voice went higher but he had a very hopeful look on his face. He has hoped to hear her say those words for a very long time.

“Please.” She whispered her eyes flickering nervously around his face.

Luke let out a sigh of relief and bent down to her finally pressing his lips to hers and sighing happily as they melted to each other.

Luke whined when she pulled away making her laugh fondly and press another kiss to his lips.

“Does this mean i can take you on a date?” Luke whispered taking a step back into his dorm and closing the door but not letting go of her.

“You can as my boyfriend.” She teased his softly back enjoying the way his face softened even more.

“I would love too.” Luke beamed pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, she sighed in relief and wrapped her arms around him resting her head on his chest.

Luke’s leg bounced up and down as he waited for his girlfriend to come see him, they have been dating for almost two months now and he just got back to Michigan after playing with the Devil’s for the playoffs and he was going to have his girlfriend finally meet his family.

Jack and Quinn shared an amused look at how excited Luke is to see his girlfriend, they have known about her for a little bit now and Luke surprisingly talked about her quite a bit to his brothers.

Luke smiled getting a text from her that she is here and he quickly got up and walked down the front steps seeing her car in the driveway, she got out of the car and Luke immediately wrapped his arms around her spinning her around.

“Lu.” She giggled as he spun her around making her cling to him, Luke slowly stopped setting her back down, “I missed you.” She whispered holding onto Luke tightly.

“I missed you too my sweet girl.” Luke softly whispered back pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

“Gonna introduce us Lukey boy.” Jack playfully called out from where Quinn and him were standing on the front porch.

Luke pulled back from their hug rolling his eyes making her snicker but flashing a slighty nervous look at his brothers. Luke saw her nerves and grabbed her hand squeezing it reassuring and walking her over to his brothers.

“Jack, Quinn this is my girlfriend.” Luke proudly introduced her making her flash a smile at the two.

“So you’re the girl who my brother never shuts up about.” Jack teased flashing her a soft smile back.

“You talk about me.” She playfully teased her boyfriend making him fondly roll his eyes blushing.

“Shush you.” Luke grinned pinching her side. She just smiled softly at him before turning back to his brothers, who were watching the exchange and thought she was already perfect for their little brother.

She followed the boys into the house and saw a very beautiful woman in the kitchen who looked very similar to Jack.

Ellen looked up and beamed seeing her youngest son’s girlfriend, “You are just as pretty as Luke said.” Ellen softly complimented her walking over and she held out her hand for a handshake but Ellen just smiled pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you.” She softly spoke to Ellen as she was hugged her back softly and she gave Luke a wide eyed glance, Luke had told her that Ellen was exicted to meet her but she thought he was being nice but Ellen seems genuinely excited to see her but she shouldn’t be suprised with how kind Luke is, it is obvious he got his kindness from his mother.

Ellen linked her arm with her and started taking to her youngest son’s girlfriend wanting to know everything about her as she can easily tell how smitten Luke is for her.

Luke smiled softly seeing the two most important woman in his life getting along immediately. He let his mom take his girlfriend and he knew his mom would introduce her to his father. Luke also knew there was no way he was going to get his girlfriend back from his mother for a while.

“You picked a good one.” Quinn told his baby brother squeezing his shoulder softly, it was easy to see how in the love the two are with each other in just one glance and she obviously is good for Luke and got along with their mom immediately.

“You better keep her around.” Jack pointed a playful finger at his little brother, already liking his girlfriend and couldn’t wait to get to know her more especially with how easy she teased Luke.

“I plan too.” Luke firmly told his brother smiling as he heard his mother and girlfriends laugh.

Luke spent some time in the living room with his brother, letting his girlfriend have some time with mother before he couldn’t wait any longer and got up walking to the dinning room seeing the his girlfriend, his mom and dad all talking.

“Can i have my girlfriend back now.” Luke whined as he walked into the dinning room and stood being her wrapping his arms over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Ellen smiled amused but nodded, Luke grinned and let her stand up and immediately pulled her to his side skiing her laugh and wave at his parents as they walked out of the dinning room and to the living room where Jack and Quinn were still playing videos games.

“Ah he got you back.” Jack looked up and laughed seeing how less grumpy Luke looks now with his girl in his arms. Quinn chuckled too as he saw how Luke was clinging to her.

She smiled and chuckled as she looked at Luke fondly, Luke pulled her down onto the couch and pulled her as close as possible burying his head in her neck and letting a happy sigh.

She easily talked and laughed with Jack and Quinn as if she had known them for years making Luke so incredibly happy as he just was content to listen to them talk.

She stayed for a week with the Hughes and easily everyone just adored her and she fit into their family perfectly. She was the best choice Luke could ever make.

The Hughes were all going to the first game of the 2023-2024 football season, Luke was in town for a few more weeks before he headed to to New Jersey for his rookie year so they were spending as much time together as possible. Lucky for the couple it was her senior year so they would only have to long distance for one year.

She stood on the sidelines of the football field talking with Ellen and Jack as Quinn and Luke were a few steps away talking to some friends and Jim was making new friends somewhere down the sideline.

She has a small blue denim skirt, a yellow tank top and Luke’s michigan jacket.

She laughed at something Jack said when she heard her name being called and she spun around seeing JJ’s sisters.

“Hi.” She awkwardly spoke not sure how to act around the two anymore since she no longer speaks to JJ even if she did grow up around them. She walked over to them meeting them in the middle.

“Rosie!” Caitlin beamed and pulled her into a tight hug.

Morgan smiled and waited for her turn and once Caitlin stepped back Morgan pulled her into a tight hug, “We missed you.”

“I missed you guys too.” She truthfully told them, but she was trying to stay away from JJ and unfortunately it’s easier to stay away from him by being away from the girls too.

JJ finished warming up and was trying to find his sisters and saw them talking to a girl with short brown hair, he walked up to them and threw an arm over his little sister’s shoulder and froze when he saw the face of the girl they were taking to.

“Ro.” JJ whispered shocked as he looked at her, she had cut her hair. She looked so glowy and more beautiful than usual, she looked happy and that was hard pick to swallow knowing he has been miserable without his best friend.

“Hi.” She bluntly spoke, not feeling as nervous as she thought she would feel when she saw JJ again.

“You uh look good.” JJ stammered out flashing a hopeful smile at her.

“I know.” She smiled calmly back and flashed a much softer smile at the girls, “It was good seeing you two.” She squeezed both of the girls hands and turned around and walked away letting JJ see the name on the back of her jacket. Hughes.

JJ’s jaw clenched as he watched her walk to Luke. He knew who Luke is. It was harsh realization as he watched the two knowing he had lost her forever.

She let out a long sigh as she walked away and felt lighter and more free, she walked back to Ellen and Jack and saw Luke back with them.

“You okay?” Luke asked her the second she got to close to as he scanned her face, he saw JJ near her and wanted to give her space but he was watching to make sure she didn’t look uncomfortable.

She let out a sigh and walked to him wrapping her arms around his waist. “I am now.” She mumbled happy as she hugged her boy.

Luke smiled softly, “Good.” Luke pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and she knew she had picked the right boy.

Her boy.

[neutron-stars-collision]

It's incredible how much everything changes when you rewatch p1, after seeing the whole thing at least twice. Especially episodes 1-2. The context of Colin's feelings, his confounding feelings, makes everything even better.

Because imagine this: he's on the tour of the continent, living the life, only no one responds to his letter or seems interested in his whereabouts. And if it were only the family? He'd probably be fine. Salty, but fine. Except it's Pen, his dearest friend who doesn't respond to his letter. Not once.

So, Colin spirals, decides to change his personality, become the man he thinks society expects him to be, starts documenting things in his journal where usually he'd write about them to Pen. Perhaps with time he stops writing letters to her completely, but he still misses her so much.

He comes back, a changed man, everyone's attention on him and his newly acquired swagger. Debutantes swoon over him and his new look. It's everything he wanted, except... Pen gives him the cold shoulder. Twice. Doesn't seem at all interested in his new persona. The flirting, which he has tried out on many unimportant women in the Ton doesn't work on the one woman who actually matters. He's confused and lost.

Once he realises what he has done to garner Penelope's anger, he instantly makes amends. Sheds the newly acquired armour to tell her just how much she means to him. Or at least as much as he's allowing himself to notice by that point. The confusion is still there, and it gets worse after the handshake because you cannot tell me he didn't feel a spark right then? He definitely did. And it was bewildering.

But, still, being the oblivious man he is, Colin pushes on with the mad and spontaneous plan to help Pen find a husband. Mostly because it gives him a chance to spend time with her. And suddenly this is all he wants to do. The only thing that provides genuine joy. Only in those brief moments with her he can be himself. He can be accepted.

And episode 2 showcases all of that perfectly. It shows Colin in a permanent state of confusion because not only are those moments with Penelope the only times he feels like his old self, but also now there's more. The constant desire to be alone with her, to trample over any left rules of propriety to steal just a moment of her attention. To help her because this is the only thing he's good at. To be useful. Then jealousy begins to brew because he has to watch Pen be her charming self with men that are not him. Slowly he begins to realise that perhaps he wants more than to be her friend. That perhaps she's never been just a friend.

By the time Pen asks for that kiss, Colin is terrified because he wants to kiss her. He wants to kiss her while knowing that it will mean something. It will mean something to him. Because Pen is home. Pen is everything he was looking for. And now that he has realised it there is no chance he can forget. The kiss only signs off that which was inevitable.

[sharkgirldick]

A knight and a squire

Duty and loyalty are everything to a knight. I am sworn to no lord, no kingdom, only the people. Where the evil prey upon those who cannot defend themselves, I arrive with sword in hand. I am no legend, nor even a local hero. I would prefer if the lands never learn my name, no stories or songs written of my battles. I do what must be done, because it must be done.

Yet, still, I find myself with a squire. She is like I am, resolute in her desire to fulfil her duty. She is much like I was as well, unsure of her place in the world and just what justice and honor mean to her. She had come of age only the year before I came to her village to kill a beast that was plaguing their livestock. In the months since then, she had become a welcome companion on the lonely roads of the kingdom.

The night was cold, a perfect chill, our breath steaming away from us as we sparred. Her form had improved immensely in the last few weeks, though her footwork was still stiff. To punctuate that, I went in for a simple overhead swing, stepping slightly to the side to indicate what I planned to do. She brought her blade up to block, but stood in place. I weaved to the side, twisting my blade past her simple guard, baring the tip against her throat.

"Pay attention to more than just an enemy's blade. Watch where they move, and move with them." She looked at me for a moment, then I pulled my sword away from her. Cold steel no longer near her flushed skin, she nodded.

Later, our daily drills and sparring complete, we stat by the fire, a simply stew cooking over a pot.

"Sir?"

"We aren't strangers any longer, Grace. Just call me Valeria."

"M-Miss Valeria?" It would have to do. She was much too formal, even when we spoke in private like this.

"Yes?"

"Were you a knight of the Order?"

"No. I trained under a paladin for a time, but I was to be sworn to the realm when my training was complete."

"But you have told me you did not take an oath."

"In a way. On the day I was to be sworn, I instead made my own vow, and became an Errant. That has been my life for the past six years."

"So…" She hesitated, and I watched her from the corner of my eyes as I stirred the stew. "So you are allowed to take a spouse?"

I had to stifle a laugh. "Afraid you will never lay with someone, is that it?"

"No! I, just… I was curious if you had ever thought of marrying and starting a family."

"I have had my share of bed companions, especially on cold nights like we find ourselves in. I don't think I'll ever settle down anywhere, and a spouse… Maybe if they were also a knight and took to traveling with me. But many knights also dream of retirement." She lingered on that for a moment. "Allow me to respond in kind with my own question." She looked a bit startled, but nodded. "When you dream of someone in bed with you, do you think of a man or a woman? Or perhaps someone who is neither?"

Her cheeks, already red from the cold, turned even more crimson.

Looking away into the dark of the woods, she said "A woman."

"How many young ladies did you get the chance to romance before you left your village? I believe the innkeeper's girl seemed somewhat keen on you. At least, she was rather disappointed when you left with me."

She worked her mouth a bit, face still incredibly flushed, then, in a small voice. "No one. You are the only woman I have spent any time alone with." She looked up at me, and I turned my attention from the pot to her. In the moment that our eyes locked, I understood.

A little mischief crept into me, alongside a sly grin creeping onto my face. I moved the pot from the fire, satisfied with it. It wouldn't take too long to cool in this weather.

I moved closer to Grace, watching her intently now. "You are my student." I said, plainly. A nod from her. "Then… Would you like me to instruct you in love as well?"

"I…"

I pushed on before she could protest. "It wouldn't sit well with me if you didn't have the skills to woo a woman who catches your eye, even more so if you were completely in the dark once you could lay with her. In a way I've taken the opportunity for you to learn that on your own." I leaned in closer to her, the pale fog of our breath mingling together now.

"Sir, I wouldn't be-"

"Valeria."

"V-Valeria…" The little bit of confidence she had to properly argue withered away as she said my name. "Miss Valeria, I couldn't. You are… We are… I."

Slowly, gently, I cupped her face with my hand, and her words completely petered out. "Grace. The food will get too cold, soon. We only have a few moments. Would you like to kiss me?"

Her eyes went wide, her cheek as warm as the fire beside us against my hand. Taking a steadying breath, she nodded.

I leaned in, eyes closing, and I stole away my squire's first kiss. She was awkward, both from lack of experience and nerves, but she was warm, and I can't deny that I could feel my body react from almost a full year without this kind of intimacy.

I broke the kiss and leaned back, my hand sliding away from her face. She simply sat there, swaying, with her eyes closed. Unceremoniously, I stood and gathered our bowls and spoons, giving both of us a generous portion of our dinner, then set the pot aside to clean. I handed her our meal, then sat. We ate in a comfortable silence.

I promised her I would add romance and intimacy to her lessons, much to her embarrassment. I would have to cultivate her even more, my burden to my squire only growing.

Of course, all I could do was fulfil that obligation. After all, duty and loyalty are everything to a knight.

[1d1195]

Most - Extra I

Read Most here | ~2k words

From me: It's probably too early for an extra for them, but I seriously couldn't resist. Takes place sometime within the first couple of months of the last part.

Warnings: this is going to be disgustingly sweet. Nothing to report except you'll have a toothache after reading.

Summary: Harry gets to rush home from work now to the love of his life. Everything about her makes his heart ache.

Harry was exhausted. Now that she was home, he didn’t have a reason to avoid going home to be by himself. There was no need to feel suffocated by loneliness because he wasn’t alone anymore. So, he changed his work schedule quite a bit. He wasn’t single anymore (even if he never felt that way anyway). But he didn’t do overtime much anymore. He didn’t pick up shifts that others didn’t want or were unable to work due to their own families. The station was never left stranded regardless, but he wasn’t the go-to ask anymore. He felt a little bad and still occasionally took a short overtime shift, but not nearly as many as the insane hours he was prior to her coming home. He didn’t take his time leaving either the way he used to. There was no need anymore. Fortunately, all his coworkers were completely understanding.

48 hours on and 96 hours off. A normal shift for a firefighter. It was so much better than the 18-hour days he was doing before she returned. He could see her for days at a time. He pampered her, snuggled her, and kissed every inch of her skin like she might disappear again even though he really didn’t believe that anymore the way he did when she first came home.

But the end of this two-day shift left him exhausted. It was exceptionally busy. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Only one small house fire contained to the kitchen and the toaster that caught the curtain in the window at fault. There was lots of paperwork that needed filing and reporting for a hundred different things. There was more training. Another visit to the elementary school and a safety outreach program in partnership with other community groups.

Harry grabbed his bag from the back seat, locked his door, and headed inside. Each step felt heavier than the next. He couldn’t wait to get into bed beside her and snuggle her. With the way her work schedule was, she had arrived home after him the last few times. But today, her car was parked next to his. It made his heart flutter. Happy that he had everything he ever wanted. The love of his life, a cute house, and everything. But Harry could have done without the house, the car, the career he loved.

She was there.

That was everything.

It was late. Almost eleven. The outside air was chilly. The moon glowed so bright it almost felt like a stage light on his arrival home. There was the smell of a campfire somewhere a few streets over. All concluding to a perfect fall night. He almost wanted to wake her just so she could come outside and smell it because it reminded him of a bonfire they went to when they first started dating. They made out under a tree and giggled about all their future while their friends drank around the fire.

Quietly, he unlocked the door. He was hoping she wouldn’t wake from his arrival. Her classes alongside work had been kicking her butt. Maybe worse than a 48-hour shift not that she would ever let him think that. No, she doted on him and made sure he was doing okay regardless of how tired she was. It made his heart ache with how much she adored him, but Harry was lucky to have five days off between his shifts. She was lucky if she had one.

Kicking his shoes off right inside the door he was overwhelmed with how good it smelled. A combo of whatever she cooked for dinner and the now permanent scent of her hair care wafting through the house from bathroom all the way to the living room. If this had been even a year ago, Harry never would have thought it was possible to have it all. But the smell of her shampoo was enough to make his eyes watery. Especially after a long couple of days.

He dropped his bag by his shoes, locked the front door, and turned to make his way to the kitchen to put his Tupperware in the dishwasher. He wished he looked sooner because the sight made his heart skim a beat. A strangled, quiet groan came from his throat, as he tried to stop it so he would wake her. Wouldn’t start sobbing with how much he adored her.

Harry rushed to the living room sofa, dropped to his knees beside it. One hand fell to her hip and danced up the curve of her waist, resting on her ribcage as her breath moved her body up and down at gentle intervals. “Kitten,” he murmured.

She didn’t stir. Harry placed a hand over her ear along the side of her head. Softly he rubbed his fingertips into her head. “Baby,” he tried again. Seeing her so peacefully on his couch made him possessive and happy. He wanted nothing more than to watch her like she was his favorite show. All she had to do was sleep; it was enough entertainment for him. They dreamed of things like this and now it was here, and he felt so much love it made him want to cry.

She grunted softly. “Hi baby,” she hummed reaching out and grabbed at his T-shirt. She pulled at the chest, right below the collar of it and tugged him toward her more. Then, she slid her hand over his face. “You okay?”

“M’fine. Why aren’t y’in bed, kitten?"

"S'cold,” she mumbled, yawned.

“So, turn the heat up, baby,” a smile was in his voice as he shook his head at her.

She shook her head back in response. Slowly, she sat up. Her arms came and wrapped around his shoulders and tucked her face into his neck. “Not that kinda cold,” she mumbled.

Fuck, he loved her so much. She was so cute it made him want to scream. She was purposefully on the sofa. Waiting for him.

He swallowed the emotion that was blocking his throat, and he exhaled slowly to calm himself before he had to explain to her why he was crying like a baby because of her and how much he loved her.

He was royally fucked when she walked down the aisle. He would blubber. There wouldn’t be enough tissues in the world to dry his eyes.

“Baby, y'can't sleep on the couch every time m'at work."

"Watch me."

God. His arms tightened around her waist, and he kissed the side of her head as he rocked her gently. He couldn't be close enough to her. "S'bad for your neck t’be on the couch, kitten.”

"It's bad for my heart to be without you in bed."

Harry was going to sob because of her. He squeezed her again. He wasn’t arguing. He just wanted her to be comfy and cozy. Gently, he gripped just behind her knees and pulled her legs around his hips and swiftly stood all in the same movement. He kissed her temple. “Are you hungry?” She asked sleepily. “I’ll make you a plate,” but she nuzzled into his neck, and he almost wanted to say yes, just so he could see how she would manage while half asleep. He thought it was adorable. She was adorable.

“No, kitten. M’fine.”

She frowned. “Did you eat?”

“I ate baby. Don’t worry,” he promised.

“You don’t have to carry me. I’m heavy and you worked so long—”

“Shh,” he hushed. He supported one arm beneath her bum, cradling her to him. He carried her to the bedroom and placed her softly on the mattress before he moved away. She pouted rubbing at her eye with the palm of her hand.

“Where are you going?”

He really didn’t think his heart could take how cute she was. It felt like it was bursting, threatening to break out of his ribcage and find its way into hers so it could be next to her heart. “M’jus’ changing, baby, showered before I left,” he explained. “Gonna be all snuggled close.”

She sighed with relief. Crawled beneath the covers and waited patiently while Harry stripped down to his boxers and went to the bathroom to quickly swish his toothbrush around his mouth.

Harry wasted no time getting into bed. He lifted the sheet, blanket, and comforter that she had decorated the bed in a pattern Harry never would have had if she didn’t live with him. It was plenty warm. Rendering her defense all the sweeter.

He opened his arms for her to nuzzle against him where she also wasted no time falling into his embrace.

Maybe one day she would sleep in bed without him suffocating her with his cuddling.

But it wasn’t going to be any time soon.

“I love you,” she murmured to him.

“I love you,” he kissed down the length of her neck.

“Missed you so much.”

Sometimes he didn’t know if he meant her shift or the three years that he didn’t see her.

“I missed you, baby,” honestly it didn’t matter what she meant because the moments she wasn’t within his sight he missed her like crazy. Too much time apart made him a little insane. A little hungry for time that he couldn’t get back. But he would try anyway and enjoy every second of it. “Don’t sleep on the sofa waiting for me,” he hummed. He worried about her always. “It’ll hurt your neck.”

“Don’t you care about how my heart will hurt, Harry?” Her voice was soft, joking.

“More than anything, kitten,” he promised, seriously. “M’always going t’come home t’you though. Did y’sleep on the sofa last night?” He wondered, realizing that there was always going to be a day he didn’t know where she slept. She nodded against him. No speaking. Perhaps she was too tired. Too tired to pretend as well. There was a tight pressure around his heart and a half-smile, half-frown pulled on his lips. “Baby,” he tutted. “I don’t want you t’do that.”

“S’too late. Spent too many nights without you,” she mumbled.

So, Harry understood. He would have to think of something to help her. But for now, he understood. “M’in love with you,” he reminded her.

“Me too, baby,” she squeezed him making him feel whole.

He cupped the back of her head, kissed the center of her forehead letting his lips press there for so long he hoped it would suction his mouth to her skin just so he never had to let her go ever again. “Can we have French toast in the morning?” She whispered.

He nodded easily, his eyelids felt heavier as they closed, and his chin bumped the top of her head. “Whatever y’want, kitten.”

“Whatever I want?” She murmured.

He nodded again. “Always.”

“Harry?” She whispered. It seemed she got a bit of a second wind from the time he got her off the sofa and brought her to bed. Unfortunately, Harry wasn’t feeling any bit of it. As much as he wanted to stay awake and talk to her for hours on end, he hadn’t slept much the last two days and he felt sleepiness winning over the desire to speak.

“Hmm?” He hummed, almost falling fast asleep before he could hear her again.

“I hate sleeping without you. I never want to do it ever again unless you’re working or you’re on a trip with your family or because Niall wants to sleep with you,” she took a deep breath while Harry smiled and shook his head at her. “So, when we get married, I don’t want to do a single night apart, not even the day before.”

Harry reached for her left hand that rested on his shoulder and he softly rubbed her ring finger. He nodded. Kissed the crown of her head and sighed. “Okay, angel,” he murmured. “No night’s apart that aren’t necessary.”

“I’ll stop talking. You can go to sleep.”

“Don’t get out of bed in the morning,” he murmured and squeezed her tighter. “I hate when y’do that,” he grumbled.

She giggled. “I’ll wake you.”

“Good,” he sighed. “I love you. More than anything.”

“I love you,” she answered. “More than anything.”

--

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[trippinsorrows]

give me a reason + three

authors note: still blown away by people's interest in this one. i included visuals in this chapter, so look out for links. tweets and messages are intended to be read from left to right.

as always, confusion is to be expected. :)

one + two

words: 8k

song inspo: just give me a reason by p!nk and nate ruess

warnings: language and fluff

To say this is the first time in his life that Joe has felt lonely would be a lie. He felt it a bit the first time he left home for school, but it was greatly eased by the fact that he had BJ, his best friend. They were both in the same boat, so it wasn’t as bad.

He felt it again on and off over the years as he fought to make an NFL career that was never going to work, well, work. And once that brutal realization finally hit, after taking way too much time feeling sorry for himself, he experienced t it again as he started the hustle and grind to make a wrestling career work instead. 

And he’s especially felt it over the past two years as his marriage with Ri has deteriorated to a level he thought unreachable. 

But this….this is different.

It’s different because he’s not going home to an empty house. He’s on the road, back to work, surrounded by his cousins, a fantastic team, and a plethora of fans. It’s truly the opposite of loneliness.

But that’s exactly what Joe feels.

Because he doesn’t have her. Doesn’t have Ri.

Even if he hasn’t had her for at least two years. Not really, anyway. Not in any meaningful way that actually matters to him. 

A knock on the door pulls him from his depressing inner dialogue. 

Sitting up, Joe calls out, “come in.” 

In walk Jon and Josh, and right away, Joe knows what’s up. He can tell by their facial expressions.

“I’m fine.” Maybe if he jumps ahead of whatever semi intervention they have planned, he can avoid a conversation he really doesn’t feel like having. Physically or mentally. 

“Bullshit,” Josh scoffs, closing the door behind them. The twins sit down on different seats opposite the sofa Joe’s big body is sprawled on. “You ain’t been fine for a minute, Uce.”

It’s not entirely wrong, but that doesn’t mean Joe has to necessarily agree. “A lot of shit has happened.”

“Yeah, and I’m not quite sure you fully allowing yourself to feel that shit.”

“Kind of hard not to.”

“You know what we mean, Joe.” Jon cuts in, asking over a sigh. “Why you here right now? You should be with Ella. Helping her heal and remember shit.”

Joe feels the exact same way, but that’s not what her family wanted. Not what she wanted to some extent, because Joe was present when her parents brought up the idea of her returning home to Florida with them. She didn’t seem opposed. Didn’t express any desire to instead stay and go back to her real home with him. 

Not that he can blame her. He’s a complete stranger to her. Granted, technically, so is her family. So that not being chosen thing has definitely left a sting. 

So, Joe settles on a simple answer, “it’s not what she wanted.”

Josh is quick with the rebuttal. “Man, she don’t even know who she is, let alone what she wants.” Again, not wrong. But also, again, no need to verbalize as such. “Look, Uce, I know….I know things been rocky with you and her the past couple years—”

“Don’t.” This time, Joe doesn’t hesitate to dead the conversation before it can truly transpire. “I’m not doing this shit right now.”

“That’s the problem though, Joe.” Jon jumps back in, pointing out, “I feel like you, and her too, been avoiding talking about whatever it is that happened. And that avoidance has damn near cost you your marriage.”

“I said I’m not doing this, Jon. Drop it.” Joe can think of a million other things that he’d prefer to talk about than that. All kinds of cruel, mideval types of torture would be preferred over venturing down that path. The only person he should be discussing that with is his wife. But, that’s hard to do when she doesn’t even remember it. 

Doesn’t remember the thing he’ll never truly be able to process. 

He doesn’t even know someone can process and make peace with that. 

The twins share a look. They must know they’re defeated. In this round, at least. Cause if it’s one thing he knows about the cousins he considers more as brothers, they can be resilient and tenacious. Especially when it comes to heavy shit like this.

“Alright, man.” Josh shakes his head and slaps his thighs. “We’ll leave you alone.” It’s appreciated and both unwanted. Joe doesn’t want to be alone, per se. But, he doesn’t want his cousins, either.

He wants his wife. 

And when they walk out, the door closing behind them figuratively and literally, Joe is back to ruminating thoughts about his wife.

His wife who he’s seen mostly online in the two weeks that have passed since she was discharged from the hospital and left to be with her family. 

Joe isn’t ashamed or embarrassed to admit he’s found himself looking at footage of her via her music videos, interviews, performances and home videos. He’s reviewed old news articles that came out about them back in the day, got a good chuckle at a situation a few years back where some irrelevant rapper called himself trying to start shit with Mari that Joe and BJ handled and deaded right away.

He laughed over old text exchanges with his wife who will always be the smartest yet dumbest person he’s ever met when it comes to common sense sometimes. 

But, he’s especially enjoyed the home videos. Joe had almost forgotten just how much footage he has of her. Personal videos taken when it was just the two of them. 

Some taken by her. Some taken by him.

Memories, they’d always call them.

And they still are. 

Just haunted ones. 

Joe grabs his phone and navigates to his videos folder. There’s hundreds of them, because every time he upgrades to a new phone, he always makes sure to back up and transfer his texts, photos, and videos. For no reason other than not wanting to lose anything. Not miss out on any of the many hilarious, heartwarming moments with Ri. 

Joe picks a random video, a smile easily falling on his face as he immediately remembers and recalls what this one is. 

She’s wearing one of his Bloodline shirts, a random ball cap and a pair of his sunglasses over her eyes. There’s also a spatula in her hand as she sits on the floor in their living room in front of their flat screen TV while one of his more popular promos with Brock Lesnar plays in the background.

“You must be confused, farm boy. That title? That’s my title, and you don’t even realize cause I’m gon smash you at WrestleMania. And it’s not even your fault, Brock. You ain’t got a chance.” She’s mouthing along perfectly, facial expressions and body language in almost perfect sync with her makeshift microphone. Joe can hear his laughter in the background as she stands up, getting more into character. “This is my show! This is my ring!” She gestures off to the side. “This cameraman right here? This is my cameraman!” She gestures around the room. “These people, these are all my people, because they acknowledge me!” She then points to him. “These two right here? They work for me! This commentary team is mine because they brag and talk about me the whole time.” She then lifts her arm, pointing to the ceiling. “That sign right there? Is mine! Because I am WrestleMania! I am this show, I run this show, and everybody works for me!” She smirks, head titled. “Including the security in the ring with me.” Joe’s laughter increases as she drops the spatula and throws the hat off along with the sunglasses, also falling out laughing with him. 

Ri walks over and climbs onto his lap, asking, “That was good, wasn’t it?” Joe doesn’t hear a response on his end, but he’s certain it was nonverbal acknowledgement. 

As the video ends, he finds himself back frowning again.

Close….

They were so close.

Joe switches to a different album, photos this time, his smile returning as he opens a photo she snapped of them laying in bed. He’s clearly asleep, his arm over her body as she smiles happily.

His finger traces over the outline of her smile, a memory popping into his head.

“It’s just so beautiful.”

Joe sighs. Loud. 

It’s not often he gets time off, so these next couple days are precious and cherished. And he’d love to kick it off the right way: by getting some much needed sleep.

If only his lovely wife understood this.

Because even though it’s almost 2am, she sits beside him in their bed, emotional for no damn reason at her chosen movie: The Brave Little Toaster.

He blows out a breath. “It’s literally about kitchen supplies.” Joe then asks, confused as hell. “Why the hell you watching this anyway?”

Her answer is rushed and nervous. “Because I watched that creepy ass movie earlier today, and now I need to ease my anxiety.” 

Joe closes his eyes, turning on his back, looking at her with all the judgment. “Didn't I tell you not to watch that shit? You know your ass is scary as hell.” As soon as she started giving him a description of the movie, a psychological thriller, he knew she needed to stay far away. Ri has a tendency to overthink films like that, somehow convincing herself that whatever happened in the movie could happen to her. 

And that’s exactly what’s happened. 

“Well, I didn’t listen to you, okay!” Joe rolls his eyes. Obviously. “So, now I need to watch this soft, cute movie about these brave little utensils.” She starts sniffling. “And it’s just so sad.”

“What they do? Rust?”

“Joe!” She slaps his arm, huffing, “oh my gosh, you have no creative bone in your body.”

“Not at no damn 2 o'clock in the morning, you’re right, I don’t.” He turns back on his side, bringing the blankets up to his neck, snatching back more of the covers from his hogging ass wife. “Now I’m going back to sleep. You enjoy your KitchenAid movie.”

But that’s damn near impossible when she starts crying again minutes later, somehow louder than before. 

“He’s just so brave.”

“Oh my god.” Joe closes his eyes, rolling once again onto his back. He pinches the bridge of his nose and reminds himself that this is his best friend and his wife. He can’t grenade this. Can’t and won’t hurt her feelings by telling her to shut the fuck up, even though that’s what he would say if it was literally anyone else. “Your period must be coming because you done gone through all six stages of grief watching this damn kids movie about a fucking toaster.”

Ri gasps beside him, and he can almost feel her dramatic ass, judgmental glare. “I resent you saying that! Just because I’m a woman with feelings does not mean—“ She pauses. “What day is it?”

And before he can answer, she’s kicking the blankets off, climbing over him, and scampering to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Joe is barely even able to turn back on his side when she calls out from the bathroom. “Goddamnit , you man, you! You spoke it over me!”

He sighs. It all makes sense now.

Ri is just an overall emotional, theatrical ass person, but it’s always exacerbated whenever she’s on her cycle. She becomes….difficult. 

Super sensitive. 

“Shit.”

He hears her curse from the bathroom, but it’s not as loud, not as dramatic. And that’s what catches his attention.

“What?” Nothing. Nothing but the sound of the drawers being opened and almost slammed shut, like she’s in a rush of some sort. Joe kicks the blankets off and walks over to the bathroom. He knocks once, asking, “can I come in?”

She answers by opening up the door only to turn back around, clearly looking for something. “What’s wrong?”

“Damnit!” She snaps, slamming the cabinet shut. “I’m out of tampons.” Ri walks over and gestures to the few she has on the counter. “These are all light.” 

Shit. 

Right away, he sees her dilemma. There’s no way she can use light tampons for the first night of her period. And the reason he knows this and isn’t weirded out like how some men would be is simple. He grew up the only boy among four sisters, the baby of them all. He’s heard and learned a lot over the years. Some, or maybe a lot of which, he could have gone the rest of his life without knowing. But, some information, like in cases like this, have proved to be a bit helpful. 

So, it’s only natural, he offers, “I’ll run to the drugstore right quick.”

Ri turns to him, instantly protesting, “no. It’s late, Joe.” She crosses her arms and shrugs. “I can just, like, stuff a bunch of toilet paper up my vagina for tonight and pray nothing gets stuck.”

He leans against the doorway, easily shooting that down. “Yeah, with your luck, that’s exactly what’ll happen too.” He loves his Ri more than what’s probably healthy, but the girl is accident prone and the queen of freak accidents. “I’d rather get you the damn tampons than spend all night in the ER with you.”

Her not disagreeing with his prediction is telling. She knows he’s right. “Let me at least go with you. I don’t want you out by yourself this late.”

Joe would also not like to be out on the road, hitting up Walgreens for a random ass tampon run, but this is also Ri. And there’s very little he wouldn’t do for her.

If anything. 

“I think I’ll be fine, Ri.” He chuckles, walking over to her. She pouts as he kisses her temple. “You’re the one who would get kidnapped or some shit.” He laughs at his comment, a reference to the movie she watched earlier that’s got her up so wide and awake. 

She gasps, mouth dropped as she looks up with wide eyes. “See! I told you it could happen!”

Joe walks into their bedroom and throws on some sweats, a hoodie, and slides on some sneakers. He grabs his wallet, keys, and phone as Ri walks out, shuffling over to him and moving up against his chest, hugging him. “You want the chocolate?” She nods. “Milky Ways?” 

Again, another nod as she looks up. “And the—”

“Hot fries and Arizona tea. The one mixed with lemonade. I know.” 

She pouts. “Thank you.”

He kisses her forehead, murmuring, “I’ll be back.”

He walks toward the door, as she calls out, “I love you.”

Joe chuckles. “I love you too, baby.” He’s halfway down the steps when she screams out from the bedroom. 

“Damnit! Now we can’t do the nasty!”

By the end of the memory, a time so much simpler and happier, Joe has his head back, eyes closed, emotions all over the fucking place. 

She was his best friend. The person he trusted the most. More than anyone. 

And all of a sudden, it was just….gone. 

His entire view of her….gone.

Or maybe not.

Because while this nightmare of an accident has taught and shown him a lot, one of the biggest things it’s made him realize is that while his hurt and confusion and betrayal may be strong, his love for her is stronger.

It always has been.

He was just blinded by all of those other miserable, heavy emotions and too stubborn to do anything about it.

And now he’s in this extremely uncomfortable, confusing as fuck dilemma where he has to find someway to manage and deal with these emotions when they should be managed and dealt with with her.

But how can someone forgive someone for something they don’t even remember doing?

———-

Sleeping in a bed that isn’t yours anymore but once was is….weird. 

Sleeping in a bed in a bedroom that was once yours is even weirder.

But, staying in a house full of people who feel like and are, for all intents and purposes, complete strangers is the weirdest of them all.

It’s borderline uncomfortable.

Mariella understands the intentions of her parents. Sees how they think and believe her sleeping in her old bedroom could potentially stir some memories. It makes sense. But, it doesn’t work that way.

At least, it’s not working that way for her. 

And to her credit, she tries. Tries to observe and almost study the damn near wall full of photos from her childhood, photos of her with people who are both family and friends. She’s not sure if this was just how she last decorated her old room, but something tells her it’s the result of her family's continued effort to jog her memory. It seems….excessive. But from what she’s gathered, that’s also a good word to describe her personality. Extra. Dramatic even. 

If only she could….connect with that somehow. 

Stepping out of the shower, she takes her time getting ready. Doesn’t rush to get downstairs where she knows she’ll be greeted with a row of smiling, unfamiliar faces. Mariella really does feel bad that she’s having such a difficult time understanding and connecting, because for all intents and purposes, her ‘family’ has been nothing but kind and supportive.

And she knows this has to be difficult for them, but….she can’t force it. 

Even if she wanted to.

Because she damn sure does.

It would all be so much easier that way. 

Sure enough, the smell of bacon sizzling on the fire and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee isn’t the only thing that’s waiting for her in the kitchen.

Her father is the first one to lay eyes on her, his smile small but oh so genuine. “Morning, Ella.”

Mariella does her best to return the smile. From what she’s seen and heard, she’s always been exceptionally close with her dad. With her whole family, really.

“Morning.” 

Her mom turns around at the sound of her voice and entrance, also smiling. It’s bigger and deeper than her dad’s. And she doesn't hesitate to turn the fire on low, clap her hands against her apron and walk over to pull Mariella into a hug.

It’s not missed upon either woman how Mariella initially tenses. And she feels bad for that too. This is her mother for crying out loud. 

April pulls back, the sadness and slight level of rejection evident in her pretty brown eyes that Mariella realizes she inherited from her mother. “I’m sorry, I—”

“No, it’s…it’s okay.” Mariella swallows, forcing an even bigger smile. “You are my mother, after all.”

April’s smile is tight, the coverup for a disappointment Mariella can’t truly understand. “How did you sleep?”

Not very good. “Fine.” She walks over to the machine, lifting the mug that she assumes belongs to her dad given the same word is written in big red letters on said mug. She reaches it to him. 

“Thank you.”

A small nod of acknowledgment as she grabs a new mug and starts to brew her coffee when April speaks from where she stands again by the fire. “I was thinking of going to the promenade today. Olivia is going too. Would you like to join us, Ella?”

Mariella doesn’t have to be looking at her mother to know that while it’s meant to be a question, it’s more of a statement. And while she isn’t opposed, much preferring to be out of the house vs in the house, home videos and photos stuffed down her throat, a true question would be nice vs being told.

“Sure,” she answers with a shrug, turning around and pulling out her phone, opening to the contact she’s found herself thinking about the past couple days. 

Joe.

Their last correspondence was almost a week ago. All limited to texts that seem rather on the dry end considering they’re supposed to be married. She doesn’t really fault him though. In his defense, he seems to be wanting to give her space vs coming on too strong.

Unlike her family.

She sighs loudly, fingers hovering over the keyboard as she debates editing, once again, the text she’s had drafted for a couple of days but hasn’t built the courage to send.

Mariella: Can we facetime or something?

It’s such a simple thing that she’s not sure why she’s overthinking. In the little interaction she had with him at the hospital, she could see that despite his size, he’s a man on the quiet side. That calmness was appreciated, and in the midst of being bombarded with information, she’s found herself missing that to some extent.

Missing….missing him to some extent.

Even if it makes no sense to her. 

“Morning, family.” Olivia’s voice rings into the air, pulling Mariella back into the present. She’s dressed to the nines, and from that alone, without even needing to be told, Mariella knows her sister is a successful woman. She just looks the part. Liv sets a smile that seems a bit off on her, red lipstick contrasting against her almost unnatural, straight, pearly whites. “Hey, sis. How you feeling?”

Such a big question that seems impossible to truthfully answer to the people who are only trying to help. “Good.” So, she lies. “I guess I’m going out with you all shopping today?”

Olivia rolls her eyes and adjusts the expensive looking designer bag on her shoulder. “Of course, you are. We’ve gotta get you back out there.”

“Olivia…” 

Olivia turns to their dad, asking, “what? She has to get back to her life eventually.”

“Leave her be, Liv.”

Olivia rolls her eyes, ignoring April and reiterates, “she needs more than just photos and videos, guys.”

Mariella doesn’t know what she specifically needs but being thrusted into social situations when she still hasn’t memorized her SSN seems to not be it either. 

But still, she remains quiet. 

“Ella.” Mariella turns to her dad, brows raised. “When’s the last time you spoke to Jo—”

“Oh, Ella, I forgot there was something I wanted to show you.” Olivia interrupts the question Mariella was already thinking about without her dad even needing to ask her.

The thing she’s still thinking about even as Olivia pulls out her phone, inundating some random ass photos from back when she was in high school.

The man she can’t seem to stop thinking about.

———-

As expected, shopping has ended up providing just another form of frustration and level of feeling of being overwhelmed.

It wouldn’t be as bad for Mariella if her mom and sister didn’t feel the need to stop and introduce her to almost everyone who’s familiar, to them, that they come across. She feels a bit like a politician, plastering on smiles that don’t meet her eyes and accepting hugs from strangers. Members from church. Old neighbors. Even an old elementary school teacher.

It’s just weird.

So much so that she eventually has to excuse herself, making up some excuse about a headache as she sits outside on a bench in front of the store where Olivia and April continue to shop.

Mariella is grateful for the solitude and uses that to once again play around with just texting her freaking husband of all people. 

She could use some of his quiet right now. 

“Mariella?”

One thing that’s improved is her ability to respond to her name, but it’s who says her name that has Mariella more stumped than anything. 

He’s standing above her, creating a massive shadow and distraction from her sending out the text she’s not exactly sure she wants to actually send. 

He’s wearing a smile that’s objectively friendly, but there’s something about it that feels….off. He’s also objectively attractive, pretty light eyes, tall, sinewy build. Facial features that seem more appropriate for a page out of Vogue vs being on this strip of stores.

“Wow. It really is you.” He scoffs and tucks his sunglasses near the collar of his shirt. “It’s been too long.”

Mariella may not know just who exactly she is, but she does know the difference between being friendly and rude. And she really doesn’t know a nicer way to say her first response other than what comes out. “I’m sorry, I don’t….do we know each other?”

The man frowns a bit. “That’s right. I forgot….” Something tells her he feels uncomfortable outright saying what’s otherwise obvious. Like the fact that she was in a severe accident that knocked the shit out of her. 

And her memories. 

“My name is Brendan. We….we dated back in college.” 

Oh.

Mariella still doesn’t know a lot about herself. Much of anything at all, really. But what she is seeing is that her taste in men is pretty damn good, because this Brendan person is far from ugly. Though it’s hard to not compare. Hard to not think about the contrast between him and Joe, her husband’s voice deep and baritone compared to Brendan’s soprano-like tone. Joe’s massive build to Brendan’s much slender one. Even the height difference. She recalls having to crane her head up to look at Joe. Brendan is a few inches taller than her but nothing significant. 

And those comparisons also have her reconsidering, yet again, keeping the text as it is right now, just drafted in her phone. Has her wondering what benefits could be gained from just sending it, seeing what he says.

“Oh.” The word escapes her head but nothing else comes out, Brendan clearing his throat.

“This may be poor wording, but you look absolutely amazing considering….well….”

“That I almost died?” He looks uncomfortable but also amused. “It’s…it’s okay. I guess it’s a compliment.”

“I didn’t realize you were in town.” He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans, asking. “How long are you here for?”

Hopefully not much longer.

And it’s a thought that she instantly feels bad about. This is her family, and it’s not their fault she can’t remember. Because they’re trying their damn hardest to change that. But, that’s also a part of the problem. 

It’s…..it’s too much.

She feels almost suffocated at times. 

Like now with this Brendan person. 

“I don’t know.” An honest, truthful answer followed up with more honesty. “But, I’ll be going back to California eventually.” Back to be with her husband. One person vs several who seems really great at giving her information but not too much. Largely only when she asks vs being told in heaps of overwhelming data. “With my husband.”

She doesn’t know why she adds on that last part or why she fiddles with the beautiful diamond on her left hand. The ring that she placed on her finger without much thought when given her items upon being discharged. 

Brendan’s lip twitches, his eyes flashing with something that almost looks like irritation. “Of course.” There’s definitely no denying the irritation in his tone. “Listen, I’d love for us to catch up before you leave. A cup of coffee.” Her eyes widen a bit when he adds on, “maybe even dinner—”

“Hello.” 

Another voice. This one a bit more familiar. April stands in the doorway of the store with Olivia. They both wear polar opposite expressions. Olivia is smiling in Brendan’s direction while April’s mouth is in a straight line as she moves to stand beside Mariella.

“Mrs. Holmes. Long time, no see.” The irritation is washed away, swapped out with something amiable but also….inauthentic. Mariella doesn’t know if she’s exactly in a place to be judging people or calling them fake when she doesn’t even know who she is, but there’s something….off about this Brendan character.

She doesn’t know a shit ton about Joe either, other than the basics, but right off the bat, between the two of them, she chose the right one to walk down the aisle with.

Her mom’s smile remains tight. “Maybe not long enough.” This takes Mariella by surprise. She hasn’t seen this side of her mother before. Unfriendly, almost.

Olivia, however, rolls her eyes. “Mother, please. You know Brendan also works for the same firm I’m at.” Ahh. That would explain the smile. “Excuse my mom. It’s been….a lot for all of us.” 

Now, Mariella is the one fighting back confusion. She gets that this has to be difficult for her family. For her to not remember who they are, but it’s not just them she can’t remember. She can’t remember quite literally anything. She’s the one who’s been impacted the most out of this.

She just kinda wishes they would get that more. Would respect the level of intrapersonal difficulty on her end. 

“Of course.” Brendan frowns, but again, it feels inauthentic. “Well, I won’t keep you, ladies—”

“Good.” 

Mariella bites down on her lip, turning away to hide her smile as Olivia looks straight up annoyed at April’s coldness.

“I’ll see you at the office, Brendan.” Olivia says almost apologetically, dragging her eyes back to her mom who seems completely unapologetic for her tone.

Brendan nods, landing his gaze back on Mariella. “Remember my offer, Ella.”

She can’t even find it in her to nod or acknowledge his departing message because there’s not a single part of Mariella that wants to entertain his offer let alone take him up on it. Does he not know she’s married?

It’s once he’s gone that April turns toward Mariella, a genuine smile replacing the fake one. “Sweetie, can you go wait in the car? I need to speak to your sister.”

There’s a part of her that would like to overhear this probably interesting conversation, but the desire to just be away and by herself is more overpowering.

“Sure.” She accepts the key fob and shopping bag from her mom, not hesitating to turn on her heel and head back toward the parking lot. 

And as soon as she’s gone, Olivia is on April, voice harsh and sharp. “Mother, what the hell was that?”

“Watch your language with me, child.” April’s correction is swift as she crosses her arms. “When did you plan to mention Brendan now works with you?”

“Didn’t realize I had to keep you up to date on the latest hires at my job.” She rolls her eyes, also crossing her arms. “Plus, really, mama? How was that a priority with everything we’ve had happening?”

“Watch it, Olivia.” Aprils loves all her children equally, but Olivia has always been the one to push her close to her limits. “I don’t like that boy. He’s a snake.”

“Oh my gosh…” Olivia turns away for a second, coming back as she points out, “you don’t even know him.”

“I don’t have to know him. You know why? Cause I distinctly remember Joe nearly putting him in the hospital for whatever went down between him and your sister.”

Olivia is taken back for a second. Her mom’s memory is as sharp as the best of them. “You mean when he committed aggravated assault and ruined any chances Brendan had for a basketball career?” 

April, however, is not backing down, showing just where Olivia inherited her stubborn personality. “You ever wonder why Joe reacted the way he did? How bad it must have been for him to get that upset?”

“Oh, please. Mama, let’s not act like Joe hasn’t always been a hothead. He’s just better at masking it than BJ.” And before April can protest, Olivia provides facts. “How many times did you and daddy get a call or called down to the office cause BJ got into it with someone, huh? And more often than not, who’d he get in trouble with? Joe.” Olivia shakes her head. “The only reason they always got slaps on the wrist was because they were athletes. Joe has been problematic, and I’m tired of ya’ll not seeing it.” She blows out a big breath. “Brendan is not a bad guy—”

“You saw how he was looking at your sister.” April stresses, lowering her voice. “Don’t no man have no business looking at a married woman like that unless he’s got bad intentions.”

“Ella isn’t even with Joe right now, so what’s the big deal?”

April is quiet for a moment, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What are you up to, Olivia?” 

Olivia easily slides into deflection. “Mama, you’re always so hyper-vigilant—”

April, however, is wise and knowing. She advises with all the seriousness, “don’t think that because your sister can’t remember nothing that you can just rewrite history.”

“Mama—”

“I’m speaking.” And Olivia quiets down because no matter how old she gets, her mother using that tone will never not be able to set her straight. “Hear me, and hear me good, lil’ girl. Ella is home with us now, yes, but she will be going back to California to be with Joe because he is her husband, and her place is with him.”

———-

Spring, 2023 

“You want to what?”

Iris was already having a not so great day. Some inept, thinks he's a hot shot lawyer actually thinking that he can lowball and bully her into convincing a client to accept a deal that’s absolute horse shit.

She had to, of course, show him just why she’s the most sought after manager in entertainment. Ruthlessly.

The thought of his bubble eyes nearly bulging out of his head at her cutthroat response is almost enough for her to actually smile. A rare anomaly that happens every couple of years but is especially not going to happen after what she just heard.

Mariella rolls her eyes, again repeating herself. “I said I’ll do the tour.”

Iris knew she heard her right. It’s just the shock of it all that made her need some level of clarification. “I’m sorry, you do remember that this is a world tour, Ella, right?” And in case she forgot, Iris reminds, “you’d be on tour for nine months.”

“And?” Ella shrugs, continuing to write in her notebook, lyrics of some sort. “It’ll be a great opportunity to connect with my fans.”

“Fuck your fans, Ella.” Iris is quick and borderline nasty with it. “Who gives a fuck about them?” She sits down on the opposite end of the sofa. “I’m thinking about you.”

Iris sees the way that Ella tenses at that last part. “I’m fine, Iris.”

“Bullshit.” She then asks, almost tentatively. “Ella….have you sp—”

“No.” It’s a firm, harsh, borderline cruel shut down. A complete sentence compacted into a single word.

Iris closes her eyes. “I just think—”

“Get me the contract to sign, Iris. That’s all I need you to do.” 

If only Iris was a ‘yes’ man. “You think this shit is healthy, Ella? You’re running away.”

“I don’t need your judgment.”

“I would never judge you.” And it’s the truth. Iris may judge quite literally everyone else who walks this earth. But not Ella nor Promise Rose, her best friends since she was a child. And especially….especially not Ella. Not after…..after what happened. “But, I just—you’re not happy, Ella.”

There’s a brief second of hesitation. “I wasn’t happy before it happened, Iris.”

Voice softening, Iris calmly contradicts her, “yes, you were.” Ella closes the notebook, pushing it to the side and pulling her legs up to her chest, looking away. Even without a clear look at her face, Iris knows the emotions are brewing. “I just—I think if you tell him—”

“No!” That’s what makes Ella snap her watery gaze back on her best friend turned manager. “I—I can’t. I won’t. He doesn’t deserve to know.”

Iris closes her eyes. “Ella—”

“Have you told anyone?”

Iris is almost offended that Ella could even fix her mouth to ask such a question. Ella knows how massive loyalty and trust are to her. “Of course, not. I would never. I just….I hate to see you like this.”

For as long as Iris has known Ella, she’s always been an annoying ass ray of sunshine. Always seeing the bright side of things. Glass always half full. But in recent months, especially after that….something in her has snapped, has gone away into deep hiding. And usually, this is when Iris would gladly push Ella in the arms of her husband. He’s always been Ella’s safe person. 

Now, Iris can’t even get the two in the same room without an argument breaking out. 

They’re both just so….angry with each other.

Or maybe it’s not anger.

Maybe it’s just hurt.

“That’s why I need to get away, Iris.” Ella all but whispers. “I need….I need a new environment. I feel like I’m surrounded by reminders.” She sniffles, quickly wiping at her eyes. “I just….it hurts too much to stick around and have to constantly relive it. I—” Her voice cracks. “Please….please just get me the contract.”

“I will.” Iris doesn’t agree with this, doesn’t like it at all, but she also knows her best friend can be determined as hell. If she doesn’t handle the tour negotiations, Mariella will do it on her own and sign just anything just to get away. To escape. “But, I still think you should talk to J—”

“I hate him!” 

No one says anything. 

Iris is truly stunned into silence. In the two decades that have transpired since the beginning of her friendship, She has never known Mariella to express such strong sentiments against another human being. It’s almost against her nature. 

But to say such a thing towards Joe? Her person?

Iris now realizes just how deeply this hurt and trauma lies.

That maybe….that maybe their relationship truly is irreparable at this point. That lies, deception, betrayal, and everything else under the sun has destroyed something she once thought indestructible. 

———-

Present 

The last name Joe expected to see pop up on his phone is the exact name that’s flashing along with his contact photo for her which happens to be them a couple years back when they finally went on a long awaited honeymoon to Bora Bora. She’s in front of him, his arms around her, her smile big and wide, eyes closed as he kisses her cheek.

It’s one of his favorite pictures of them, and even after all this time, after everything that’s happened….he hasn’t been able to bring himself to change it.

Even….even when for a brief while, he thought he hated her. 

There’s a second of delay as Joe hits the green button, officially accepting her FaceTime call. 

His connection is the strongest it’s been all day because she’s almost instantly filling his phone screen.

“Hey….”

She smiles, and Joe takes a minute to take her in. The cuts and bruises on her face have almost entirely healed. She doesn’t look as pale as she was laid up in the hospital bed. Her curly hair is pulled into two space buns. “Hi. Is—is this a bad time?” She’s outside, clearly. In her parents backyard on the swing that holds a million and one memories. 

Joe shakes his head. “No.” Even if it was, it wouldn’t make a difference. This is the first time she’s called him since being with her family. He’d make whatever work if need be. “How are you feeling?”

She chuckles, but it’s bitter. Almost resentful. “Overwhelmed.” 

Joe sits up more, naturally asking, “you wanna talk about it?”

“Thank you for actually asking.” Her voice is soft as she leans back into the swing, answering truthfully, “I know they mean well, and they’re just trying to help, but—”

He finds it almost too easy to finish her statement. Knowing her, her tics and whatnot has always been so easy. “It’s too much.”

“I just….” She blows out a breath. “You seem a lot more chill, and….and you ask me what questions I have instead of just telling me shit that I don’t remember and feel any sort of way about, even though I know I should.”

“It’s….it’s gonna take time.” And that’s truly a guesstimate on Joe’s end, because the official medical recommendation on her amnesia is that it’s unknown when or if she’ll ever fully restore her memories.

And he’s still so damn torn on just how he feels about that.

“I was wondering…” She looks down, pausing. This is such an unfamiliar thing for Joe. He’s not used to her being so quiet. His wife is many things, and quiet is none of them. “I know you’re on the road and stuff, but…is there anyway I can like….join you for a bit?” She quickly adds, “I don’t know if that’s even a thing—”

“It is,” he finds himself answering. Quickly. Probably too quickly. “I travel on a bus for the most part, stay in hotels for the rest, so if you wanted—”

“I do,” she also answers quickly. “I just…I think I need something different. This.” She motions between herself and the camera. “This is a lot easier than having over 30 years of history shoved down my throat.”

Joe feels for her, hates hearing the conflict in her voice, and he doesn’t blame or fault her family. They’re probably doing the best they can. It’s just….not what she needs right now.

“When…..when can I come?”

The almost desperation in her voice catches his attention, creating a sense of excitement in his stomach that’s quickly quenched by the wise reminder that she’s not coming for him. She’s coming to get away. Not that the specific reason makes much of a difference. He just wants to see her.

“When do you want to come?”

She chews down on her bottom lip. “Would tomorrow be too soon?”

His eyes widen a bit as he clarifies. “Tomorrow?”

She nods. “I’m—I’m sure I can get a flight out.”

She could, but he has a better option. “You should use the jet.”

Ri is understandably confused. “Jet?”

Joe has to remind himself yet again to approach this a bit from a tabula rasa standpoint. “You have a private jet. Through your record label.” He does too, but that’s not what’s important right now. He’s also partially confused why they didn’t take it when flying home to Florida, but it’s not a major thing. Nothing worth thinking too much about. 

She makes an ‘O’ with her mouth. “That’s right, we are, like, rich, aren’t we?”

He chuckles. “Now, yes.”

She gives a little smile, asking, “I guess there’s a story there?”

“There’s a lot of stories with us, Ri….” His voice is quiet as he clears his throat, not necessarily wanting to go down that road. “If you’re serious about coming—”

“I am.” She speaks up, shoulders dropping. “I just—I think it’d be nice to spend some time with you. Hear about that part of my life at my own pace.” He nods, understanding where she’s coming from, trying not to put too much into her comment about wanting to directly spend time with him. “Is it just you on the bus?”

“Basically. My cousins sometimes hang out, but they have their own bus, so I gladly kick them out when it starts getting late.”

She smiles, and Joe is close to screenshotting, wanting to add it to his collection when her smile dips into something else, eyes squinting. “J—Jon, right?” Joe sits up more. “And…..Jo—Josh?” He scoffs, in a partial state of disbelief and shock. “They’re….they’re twins, aren’t they?”

He nods, unable to speak. Did….did she really just remember something? On her own?

A frown falls on her face. “I don’t….can’t remember anything other than that and something….I don’t know, something about Uno?” 

Joe laughs. The best laugh he’s had in some time, since this whole nightmare began. “Before your schedule got super crazy, you’d come on the road with me, and you and my cousins always played Uno, and it always ended up being a thing because you all suck and can never agree on the rules.”

She giggles, eyes twinkling with mischief. “And what about you? Are you any good?”

He scoffs. “Better than ya’ll.” 

Her mouth drops open as she declares. “Okay, then we definitely need to play when I get there. Cause I feel like I might surprise ya’ll. Maybe I could beat you.”

Joe makes a sound. “You can try. You've never been able to beat me. None of ya’ll.”

She crosses her arms and exclaims with all the confidence. “Oh, I’ve gotta knock you down a peg. Are you always this arrogant?” She asks, head tilted. 

His correction is calm and assured. “Not arrogant, baby. Confident.” 

Her smile deepens, and Joe finds himself enjoying her company more than he has in some time. Even if it’s through a damn phone. “Yeah, well, you’ve got the looks to back it up. Let’s see if you have the talent.”

She has no idea. “Just remember you asked for this.”

“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes, and they exchange a prolonged locking of gazes. “I—-that’s the first thing I’ve remembered on my own, and you….you didn’t even have to try to force it.” 

She swallows, voice softening. “I’d really like to come see you.”

He wants her to come too. More than she could know. “Text your sister. Everly. Not Olivia. See if she’ll fly out with you. If not, I’ll come. You don’t need to be traveling by yourself.”

Ri frowns. “I don’t—I was medically cleared to travel.”

“Yes, and you did so without incident because your team hadn’t announced you’d been released yet, but now the public knows you’re out. They spot you, and the fucking paparazzi will be all over you. You don’t need that.” Mariella has never enjoyed the constant flashing of lights and cameras in her face anyway. 

He doesn’t want her dealing with that on her own. “Okay.” She then asks, “Why not ask Olivia?”

Joe debates how to approach this. “Your sister and I….we’ve never gotten along. If she knows you’re coming to see me, she’ll probably decline to travel with you. Everly is more or less a flower child. She’ll be fine with it.”

It’s the best answer he can come up with in the moment. He happens to think Olivia is a certified bitch who sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong, but he would never do anything to create a biased view of how she sees her sister.

Anyone in her family. 

Ri chuckles, and he half expects her to ask why her sister doesn’t like her husband, but she instead hits him with something unexpected. “Do you know who Brendan is?”

And just like that, any relaxed state he had is ripped away with a single name. “Brendan?” She nods. “Where did you see him? How?”

She seems taken back by his questions, and he hates bombarding her, but that fucker is one person that always will be able to get Joe to act out of character. 

She honestly offers more information than he was expecting. “I—today at the promenade out with my mom and sister. I get the sense my mom doesn’t like him, but Olivia seemed friendly. I guess they work together.”

Fucking Olivia….yeah, Joe’s definitely gonna have to bite the bullet and text her. Because in no way, shape, or form does he want that son of a bitch anywhere around his Ri. And the fact that he may even be a fucking attorney or lawyer blows Joe’s mind.

That creep should be the one in jail. 

“He’s not a good person, and he needs to stay the fuck away from you.” Before she can ask anything else, he tells her, “let me know what Everly says. If not, I’ll have a flight out tomorrow morning.” He’s definitely got to get her out of there now. He wants to put and keep as much distance between Mariella and Brendan as possible, and if she remembered just why they broke up, she’d want the same. 

Mariella nods. “I—I can call her now.”

“Do that.”

She swallows. “Okay.” Mariella opens her mouth and seems to hesitate for a minute. “Thank you, Joe.”

Her thanking him feels weird, because he’s never looked for that from her. Never really wanted it really. Just wanted her. Her love. Her trust.

Getting into that not so great place, he shakes his head, reminding, “just text me whenever you find out, I’ll keep my notifications on.

This seems to please her. “Okay.” She gives him another smile. Of a parting and appreciative nature. “Bye.”

“Bye.” She ends the call, and despite him deep down knowing he should wait until he’s calmed down a bit to message Olivia, Joe’s fingers seem to move faster than his brain. 

[totaly-obsessed]

Could you write for ella toone that's angst like she looses a match or something and takes it out on r and then tries everything to make it up to r

Groveling Time

Ella Toone x reader request

-> Ella does not cope well after losing a game and takes her anger out on you, her girlfriend

-> First request! Let me know what you think!

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Gamedays were always special, especially for Ella. Being able to represent her childhood club with you by her side was so dear and near to her heart – she loved every single moment of it.

With the new season and not only Alessia missing from the Manchester United crew, but many of her friends having changed clubs, it was tough for the brunette and it was hard on her mind.

You were her rock. She loved knowing that she could lean on you if she ever needed to – a realization that had not come easy to her.

But this week was different, and you both knew it. It was yet another Sunday and Manchester United would meet Manchester City in a derby. This alone was another level of stress, there would be a huge upturn to the game with fans being very dedicated to their respective teams.

But the worst thing for Ella? You could not be there.

It was your grandma’s eightieth birthday and with her being very sick, your family never knew how much longer they had with her. You had asked Ella if she wanted to join you because then you would try to convince the rest of the family to push it to Monday – but your girlfriend insisted that she would be fine and that she wanted you to have a nice day with your family.

During dinner you tried to check your phone as often as you could, trying to stay updated on how your girlfriend’s team was doing. Seeing the 2-0 to Manchester City before the halftime break was hard, knowing how much Ella would blame herself, looking for mistakes in herself. Being the ‘worlds-best girlfriend’ as Ella crowned you, was not easy – but you decided to shoot her a quick text during the break.

‘Hello Gorgeous! Keep ya head up – cannot wait to see you tonight. I love you so much.’

It was sappy, but you knew that the young lioness loved it even if she would deny it till the day she died.

You arrived home before Ella did – so you made dinner.

Ella’s comfort food, knowing that she would not take the 3-0 loss easy. Some leftover cake was chilling in the fridge, waiting for dessert.

But it was getting later and later by the second – without Ella showing up at your shared home. You had texted Katie Zelem oven an hour ago, asking if she was with her and if they had plans for the night. The Manchester United captain however could not help you with your search for your girlfriend – telling you that Ella had left in her car as soon as she could.

By now you were incredibly hungry, having waited for the brunette for three hours seated on the couch, preparing lessons for the following day. At some point, you had turned the stove off and put everything in Tupperware placing it next to the cake in the fridge.

After waiting for a while longer, you started writing a little note to your girlfriend that you placed where she stored her bag so that she would definitely see it. ‘I was tired. ‘Dinner is in the fridge – cake too. Love you!’

You had already gotten ready for bed and nearly fallen asleep when you heard the front door fall shut. With slow steps, you trotted down the steps “Ella?” But you did not get an answer.

With your note in hand, your girlfriend stood in the kitchen. You tripped over her shoes that she had just flung onto the floor, the entryway being a complete mess. Bag in one direction, shoes in another – her jacket just in the middle of the ground. “Baby?”

She had her back turned to you, hands balled to fists by her side, your note crumbled in of them. There still was no reaction. You had gotten closer now, resting your hand on her back, trying to comfort her – but she shrugged you off. “Couldn’t have waited for me huh? First, you don’t show up for my game and then you don't even wait for me!”

Sure, she usually had a loud voice, but now she was just yelling into your face. Ella had turned around with so much force, that she had pushed you back a little. “I’m sorry baby but I was at my grand-“

“I don’t care! You should put me first! We lost because of you and your selfishness!” Tears were quickly making their way to your eyes, mirroring the brunette's bloodshot ones.

She clearly was not herself right now, so you tried to avert her attention. “Do you want me to heat up dinner?” A sharp scoff left you flinching back once she ripped the fridge open.

“No need – you didn’t even wait for me. Already ate huh? What a nice day. Leaving your girlfriend hanging, visiting your stupid family, and eating alone. How fun.” Her words hurt, she spat at you with such anger that it terrified you.

You had never thought that you would fear Ella. But the usually bubbly and funny girl was not herself right now. “And what are you wearing? Always stealing my shit! Don’t you have clothes for yourself?”

Tears were running down your cheeks as you looked at your mirror image in the dark window. You were wearing one of Ellas' big shirts – she usually loved seeing you in her clothes, even making you change out of your own so that you could wear hers.

“I think I will just go to bed baby. Maybe you will have calmed down tomorrow.” Your feet were already on the stairs as you heard her muttering “Sure. Just leave me like you always do.”

It hurt, so much. You opted for the guest bedroom, leaving the brunette in the comfort of your joined room. Once upon a time, you had thought that maybe, just maybe this room could be used for your future child.

If there even was a joined future.

But you were determined to work at what was wrong – not wanting to throw everything away just like that. But Ella did not even enter the bedroom, she left again, the door falling into place behind her as you heard the car start outside.

Just as a precaution, you texted Katie as well As Mary and Millie – explaining to them that Ella was in a bad mood and to please tell you if she showed up at their place so that you knew that she was safe.

It was Mary who was the last to answer, telling you that your girlfriend was at her home.

Now that you had time to settle, the anger set in. So instead of sleeping like intended, you sorted your clothes – taking every single piece of clothing that you had from Ella, folding it neatly, and setting it down on her side of the bed.

As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t just hide her training gear – placing everything neatly in place. As angry as you were that Ella took her own anger out on you, you could never deliberately do something that could hurt her career.

The dinner in the fridge that neither of you had eaten was turned into your lunch at school – your students excitedly asking about it.

Ella meanwhile had gotten her brainwashed by Mary as she crashed on her couch – the goalkeeper refusing to give her teammate the guest bedroom.

The brunette knew that she had messed up.

Your joined home was empty when she came back in the morning. Her chaos was gone, as was the food in the fridge – once entering the bedroom she saw all her clothes. The clothes she loved to see you in.

Her heart broke even further. How could she hurt you like that?

After allowing herself to cry for a couple of minutes, hugging your pillow close to her your note from the night before tightly pressed to her chest, she took a shower and started to prepare.

It was groveling time.

It was still much too early to start dinner for when you came home, so she started with her folded clothes. The brunette put them back into the closet – your side of it. She didn’t want you to stop wearing them.

After that she started the already full dishwasher and washing machine in the time those were running, she started to remove the stains on the couch that you had been complaining about forever now. After emptying the dishwasher and starting the dryer, Ella turned to your most neglected room – your office.

The desk was a mess and there were papers all over the room. She started with sorting the papers – art projects of your students into one folder, and vocabulary tests that you had yet to grade in another one.

After a while she had made a good dent into your chaos – so that she could actually see the table again. It took her two hours until she considered the room as done – putting the vacuum back in its rightful place.

The time on the clock nearly gave her a heart attack – it was time to start dinner and prepare her speech.

Entering your home felt like entering the lion’s den – and you hated it.

The smell of dinner was overwhelming. You did not know what you had been expecting but fresh flowers, cooked dinner, and a cleaned house were not what you had in mind.

It seemed like Ella knew that she had seriously messed up.

“Hello, Ella.”

The brunette at the stove turned around at the speed of light at your voice – not having heard you walk in. “Hi, baby.”

The smile on her face was hesitant but seeing you, without steam coming out of your ears seriously calmed her down. “I think I have something to make up to you.”

It did not take a trained eye to see just how nervous the footballer was – but being her girlfriend certainly helps. “I think you do – but before you start, I would like to hear that you’re sorry and what made you act that way.”

Big eyes looked at you – head nodding so fast that you doubted that Ella could actually see clearly. It was safe to say, that you were spoiled for the evening – Ella making sure that you could not stay mad at her with everything in her power.

[bookshelf-dust]

all the time

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 7,206

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of alcohol, family drama, best friends to lovers type beat (lemme know if i missed anything, as always)

a/n: this got pretty long, and i’m sorry about that. i put a steve option in my 1k celebration poll, and i haven’t been able to get over it, so that’s what this is. i thought i could try it out. i haven’t really had this much fun with a fic in a long time. i know my steve audience isn’t as big, but i guess there’s a chance someone might like it.

————

The crumbs from your crackers drop into your lap, the crease of your book catching them. You set your spoon back down, flipping the hardback over to ensure no crumb will be left lingering in between the pages. 

You’re curled into the end chair at the table, just as always, legs crossed and book nestled against your bare legs. Your parents sit across from each other, talking about whatever, but you aren’t listening. 

You dunk a cracker in your soup, holding it there for a moment to let it soak up the broth, before tossing it into your mouth. You continue on this way—alternating between scooping up noodles or chicken and drowning saltines—until you have nothing left but the dregs in your bowl. 

You mark the page in your book, tuck it under your thigh. You’re tipping the bowl backwards, drinking the rest of the soup, when your mother says your name loudly enough to tear you from your stupor. 

You swallow and wipe your mouth haphazardly with a napkin. “What?”

“Your father and I were just talking about your sister’s wedding.”

You raise your eyebrows, wondering if she’s actually being serious. 

“No shit.”

Your father sets his cup down, glaring at you. “Language.”

“Sorry,” you say, though there’s no real meaning in the word. 

Your sister has told practically every goddamn person in Hawkins that she’s getting married at the end of the month. Everyone is talking about her wedding. A wedding that you don’t give one singular fuck about. 

She’s marrying her high school sweetheart, they’re moving into a sweet new house in the suburbs, blah blah blah. She’s doing the same shit every other peaked-in-high-school woman her age is doing. And you can’t be bothered to care. 

Not only that, but you have to be a bridesmaid. You’re not very close with your sister, so her choosing another friend as her maid of honor really didn’t hurt you. Frankly, you would’ve been fine if she’d left you out of the bridal party completely. 

None of this is really as spectacular as everyone’s made it out to be. 

“Anyhow,” your mother begins, “you know she’s allowing her guests to bring a plus one.” She pauses, and you raise your eyebrows again, not understanding the need for dramatics here. 

“Well, she asked if you were going to bring someone, and I told her that you were.”

You push back from the table, entirely too confused. “What?”

“Honey, don’t get so frantic. I didn’t think you would want to be alone, especially considering your attitude towards the entire function.”

You take a deep breath, pressing your fingers into your eyelids. 

“I thought you could bring that boyfriend of yours. Actually, that’s what I told her. She’s already put in the name for a place card.”

“Mom, are you out of your mind?” 

She gasps, taking a sip of her wine to gather herself. Your father chooses this moment to begin clearing up the table. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend!” you exclaim. 

Her eyes widen. “What do you mean? I told her you’d bring that boy, Steve. You spend an awful lot of time with him for him to not be your boyfriend.” 

You feel like you’re choking on air. Like your dinner is going to come up if she doesn’t cut this out. “That’s because he’s my friend!” 

“You’re always with him, sweetie. Much more than I ever was with any of my male friends.” She clearly doesn’t believe that he’s not your boyfriend. Like it’s impossible that he isn’t.  

You shove past her and into the kitchen, utterly exasperated. Why are people making decisions for you? Why is your mother suddenly proclaiming to everyone that you’re in a relationship you didn’t even know you were in?

When you turn around from facing the sink, both of your parents are staring at you. “What now? Something else you’ve told the whole damn town about me?” 

Your mother reaches out to you, but you brush her off. You’re a little too pissed for any sort of cooing right now. 

“I’m sorry I assumed he was your boyfriend, honey. But you have to bring him, or else the family will ask questions and there will be an empty space next to you. Personally, I’d find that embarrassing.”

You push your way out of the kitchen, more than done with this situation. “You’ll be lucky if I even go to the damn wedding. And, personally, I wouldn’t go blabbing about things I’ve just assumed about my own daughter rather than just talking about them with her.”

When you turn down the hall, your father is rubbing his forehead, and your mother is looking at you like you should be grateful for her having assured you have company for the big event. 

“This could be good for you!” she shouts, and your only response is the slam of your bedroom door. 

In hindsight, of course the slam was childish, but you really can’t believe your mother. 

You’ve never been so frustrated with her in your life. And yeah, you’ll go to the wedding, but what gave her the right to do that? This is your life. Not hers. 

Normally, you would call Steve about something like this, but shit, you can’t. 

Steve. As your boyfriend? 

That’s too much for your brain to handle right now. You throw yourself on the bed and call it a night. 

————

“So, let me get this straight,” Robin begins, holding up her hands so as to count off your main points. “Your mother just told everyone that you have a boyfriend, that this boyfriend is Steve, of all people, and that he’s your plus one to your bitchy sister’s wedding?” 

The countertop is cold when you press your forehead against it. “Yes,” you whine. 

You’d gotten up first thing this morning and head to Family Video, needing to spill your guts to the one and only person who would surely match your energy and try to help you handle the situation. 

Your arms are laid out in front of you, hands dangling over the edge of the counter and reaching for Robin on the other side. She grabs hold of them and squeezes. “That’s one hell of a pickle you’re in. But! Lucky for you, I’m gonna help you figure it out.”

You squeeze her hands back, only to jerk your head up at an alarmingly fast rate. Robin cringes like you’re going to give yourself whiplash. You’ve just had an absolutely terrifying thought.

“Steve’s not working today, is he?”

Robin tries to think off the top of her head, but there are too many thoughts rambling around in there, so she’s quick to consult the schedule pinned to the wall behind her. She probably could’ve told you the times of each of his shifts if only you hadn’t asked. 

“He won’t come in until this afternoon. Three-thirty, to be exact.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Thank fuck. I’m not ready to see him yet. He’s going to notice something’s wrong and then he’ll want to talk about it and then it’ll just be a big fat shit show.”

Robin props her chin up with her hand, elbow resting against the green countertop. “You know, maybe that’s a good thing. He already knows you so well that he’ll probably make a great boyfriend.”

“Robin, what?” 

She’s plotting and you’ve never felt more afraid. 

“Well, you can’t just not take him to the wedding after all of this, right? It would be ten times messier now that your mom has told all of Hawkins that Steve Harrington is your boyfriend. And you know he’ll agree to go, being ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ and whatnot. Besides, you’ve gotta admit that there’s chemistry between the two of you.”

You go to speak, but she holds a hand up to stop you. 

“So you tell him about your little predicament, and maybe he can just act as your boyfriend for the night?” She smiles nervously, shoulders rising in slight fear of your reaction. “You two are best friends, no one’s bound to be the wiser.”

“Robin, are you suggesting that I just fake-date the man?”

She raises her hands in a don’t-shoot-the-messenger gesture. “What’s the harm in it? It’s just a one time thing. You go, you get it over with, and Steve will be there the whole time. It’ll be totally fine.” 

You drag your hands down your face, peeking at her through your fingers. This is insane. This is fucking delusional. But it could work, couldn’t it?

A customer comes in, and you step to the side while Robin helps them at the counter. Chemistry? Maybe Robin’s right. Not that you’d ever tell her that. 

Last Valentine’s, Steve showed up at your place after dark, flowers in hand, knowing full well that you hate the holiday. “I just wanted you to feel special,” he’d said. “And I love you and everything.” You’ve been saying that to each other for forever it seems. And you mean it. He’s your best friend. But now you’re wondering if maybe he means it in a different way. Or if that’s just what you want to think. 

Steve doesn’t know that you pressed a few of the flowers to keep, or that you’ve saved the stubs from the movies you’ve seen together. You think about how he holds your hand on the way up the theater stairs, keeping you from tripping and spilling popcorn everywhere. How he offers to go out with you when you need to be away from home, not wanting to leave you alone. That he takes your bag from you the second he notices you adjusting it, straps digging into your shoulder. 

Your hands start to sweat, and you feel like this could either go just as Robin’s told you, or it could go really fucking badly. 

“Hello? Anyone home?” Robin’s voice breaks you out of your stupor. She’s waving her hand in front of your face. 

“Listen honey, I can see your brain working from here. I know you’re coming up with every possible way that this could go wrong. Just talk to him! It might go really well. You never know.”

Robin boops you on the nose and starts to walk towards the staff room. It’s her way of signaling that you need to get your shit together. 

“Good luck! I love you!”

You grab your keys and make for the door, flipping her off as you go. She only blows a kiss in response.

————

You’d been pacing your room when Steve called and offered to take you to the bookstore. Really he just wanted to spend time with you, and you needed to spill your guts. You spent an hour contemplating calling him, going over to see him, maybe even just cutting yourself off from him as a whole. In fact, cutting yourself off from the world had crossed your mind, but he’d since prevented that. 

Now Steve hovers behind you while you wander down an aisle filled with mystery novels. None of them are catching your eye.

There’s a warmth behind you, and you look up to see Steve. He reaches above your head, one hand on your waist, and pulls something down. He flips it around in his hands before holding it out to you. “What about this one?”

Surprisingly enough it does sound vaguely interesting. “You have to read it after I do.”

He grins. “Yes ma'am.” 

And we will read it. You know that he will because he’s done it before. He’s sat on your couch and blabbed about books to you, whining about this character, asking you a question about that plotline. Robin’s voice chirps in your head. Chemistry. Shit. 

Steve takes the book back from you. He never lets you carry anything. 

You walk further into the store, your feet carrying you to the same places they always do. You end up in a quiet corner, and your heart rate picks up. Not telling him is only hurting you more. You take a deep breath.

“Steve, I gotta tell you something.”

He crosses his arms and leans against the end cap. “Shoot.”

“You know how my sister is getting married?”

He snorts. “Yeah, I’d say I’m familiar with the event.”

You’d smile if it weren’t for the fact that you feel like you might puke at any moment. “Well she decided that guests could have a plus one.” Steve hates the way he warms up at that. At the fact that he wants you to take him. He nods, encouraging you to continue. 

“Well my mother decided to tell everyone that I’d bring you. As my boyfriend.”

Steve coughs, and your head jerks in his direction. “Your boyfriend?”

You press your hands together. “Yeah. She said she assumed that we were dating because we’re always together, and when my sister asked if I’d be bringing someone, she just told her that it would be you.”

You make eye contact with Steve. His cheeks have gone red. “So naturally, she’s already had your nameplate printed. And now, what I’m saying is that I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend and go to my sister’s wedding with me.” The last part spills out of your mouth faster than you’d intended. 

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you start to panic. It’s as if you’ve been sent into overdrive, like every sense in your body is on high alert. If this goes wrong, Robin’s ass is grass. 

You back into the corner of the aisle, book spines pressing into your back. “I realize I said I need you to do this, but I should have prefaced it by saying that of course you don’t have to, and I don’t expect you to–”

“I’ll do it.”

Steve pushes his hair back from his forehead. 

“What?”

“I said I’ll do it. I don’t mind.”

“Steve, are you sure?”

He’s moving into your personal space bubble, hands grasping for your arms where you’ve tucked them behind your back. He pulls them out, hands sliding down your forearms until he’s got your hands in his. His palms are warm, and you can’t help but notice how big his hands are. There’s a ring on his pinky finger too, and it takes you by surprise, considering he’s not usually one for jewelry. You’ll have to ask him about it later, assuming you survive this. 

“I’m sure. I’m not just going to let you show up after your mom did all that shit. She’s more trouble than she’s worth, if you ask me. But I promise, I don’t mind. I’ll go and be your boyfriend. I don’t know how good I’ll be, but hey…we’ll see.”

You pull your hand away to smack him on the arm. He winces like you’ve brutally wounded him. 

“Don’t you dare say that, Steven. You’d make an excellent fake boyfriend. And a kickass real one. Don’t let me hear that shit again.”

You let go of him and start to walk away. 

Steve chuckles. “Or what?”

“Or I’ll beat your ass, Harrington. And you’d definitely lose that one.”

He catches up to you and his hands find your waist again, though he struggles to hold on when you’re continually moving.

“Hey,” he pouts, his bottom lip jutting out at you. “Not fair.”

You look back up at him and reach up to pat his cheek. It’s warmer than you’d expected, and still all rosy. “Sorry, sorry.”

“That’s not very nice of a fake girlfriend.” 

You snort. “Ha! I guess my fake girlfriend skills aren’t up to the great Steve Harrington’s standards.”

“You’re being so mean to me today.” He rests his chin on your shoulder while you pick through a sale pile. 

“Only yanking your chain, dearest.” 

He chuckles, and you can feel his breath against your neck. 

You start to wonder if maybe everyone has a point. You do spend the majority of your time with Steve, and you are touchy, but that’s just the kind of person Steve is. You hadn’t realized how much you enjoyed physical touch from another person, even when it’s the most mundane action, until him. Robin is the same way, always holding your hands or leaning on you. They’re spoiling you. 

But the more you think about it, the more you realize that you’ve started to crave Steve’s touch when he’s not around. At night when you feel lonely, when you’re staring at the ceiling and letting your thoughts engulf you, you wish he was there to give you a hug. You wish he was there when you’re eating lunch alone and his leg isn’t pressed against yours under the table. You miss the warmth and the weight of him beside you on the couch. It’s like there’s a part of your brain that’s reserved for him, and suddenly you’re worried that this fake dating Steve thing might be the worst decision you’ve ever made. 

————

“Is this really necessary?”

“Yes, and I’m going to leave this with you until the masquerade is complete so that both of you morons have a reminder of your agreement.”

Robin sits on Steve’s couch, white board in hand. She’s brought way too many markers with her. She decided it would be best if you and Steve had a list of things that are acceptable for your temporary fake romance. She also insisted she be moderator. 

“Masquerade? Is that really what we’re calling this?” Steve looks at you.

“No. It’s not.”

“Both of you! Focus!” Robin uncaps a marker and throws the lid at Steve. He catches it. “Now, what kinds of things are okay to do during this little performance? I’m talking, hugging, handholding, kissing, the lot of it. Now shoot.”

Steve looks at you again. “What do you think? This is your family that we’ll be around.”

Your knee starts to bounce.

The majority of your little charade will be during the reception, and having to stand during the ceremony is saving you much more trouble than you’d realized. You never thought you’d be grateful to be a bridesmaid. But now there’s the added pressure of knowing Steve will be watching you then, that your family will be watching the both of you afterwards. 

Steve catches your shaking leg and is quick to put a hand out to steady you. He knows you’re nervous. 

“See? That’s good. Believable.” Robin is staring at the two of you, or more specifically, at where Steve’s hand rests on your knee.  

Steve pulls his hand back. “Okay, so we can hold hands?” you say, questioning yourself already. “You can touch me, like that or like you usually do.”

“I can do that. Hands, arms, back. That alright?”

You start to warm up. “Yeah, that works. What about you? I don’t want to be too handsy or anything but it might be weird if I don’t touch you at all.” 

Steve sits back in his chair while Robin scribbles away, her bulletpoints little stars. There are two sides, one for each of you. 

“All of that is fine with me too. I really don’t mind, and I think you know I like physical affection. But you know when you like, hang on my arm sometimes? I really like that.”

Robin smiles brilliantly. “That’s good! Makes you look super lovey-dovey.” She jots it down under Steve’s name. 

You try not to let it show, but Steve’s words are running rampant in your head. I really like that. He does? You hadn’t realized it before. 

“What else?” Robin asks. “Kissing? How do we feel about that?”

“Uh—I hadn’t really thought about it,” you tell her. And you hadn’t. The thought of Steve kissing you at all, other than the top of your head like he’s done before, makes you feel like your heart has just dropped out of your ass. “But I suppose it’d be weird if we didn’t at all, you know?” 

You’re looking at Steve, hoping he’ll feel the same way, searching for some sort of consolation. 

“No, yeah, that’s a good point.” He’s quiet for a moment before continuing, “What about your cheeks and forehead and stuff? Maybe the face is fair game? And you can do the same for me.”

You wipe your palms across your thighs. Kissing Steve. Steve kissing you. You’re losing your shit. 

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. That works.” You’re amazed that you’ve even managed to get the words out. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, you know?” Steve’s expression is soft. You know he’s being serious with you. 

“I know. And I don’t want to make you feel that way either. I want this to be a perfectly comfortable evening.”

“And I’m sure it will be!” Robin claps her hands together, setting her board down against the couch cushions beside her. 

She stands abruptly. “Basically you’re just behaving like you normally do, but with a little more hands-on action, you know?”

Steve quirks a brow, taking a furtive glance at you. “What do you mean, like we normally do?”

Robin moves towards her best friend and crouches, taking his hands in hers. “Uh…what are you doing?”

“Listen, little Stevie, you’re a touchy-feely kind of guy, and you’re always all over the lovely lady to our left. You can’t deny that.”

“I mean—yeah.”

Robin nods her head. Steve struggles to keep eye contact with her, knowing you’re watching the interaction.

“And you’ve rubbed off on her! She wasn’t really like this before you, Harrington.”

This time he jerks his head towards you. “Really?”

He’s thinking about your hugs, how you wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze. About how you always take his hand when he offers it, or how you'll toss a leg over his on the couch. Any other sort of behavior would feel strange.

You feel yourself go all warm. Feel your chest squeeze. You’re forgetting how to breathe. She’s completely right. Steve has brought out a side of you that you swore you didn’t have. The side that longs for affection. Maybe more. 

You nod your head at him.

“Yeah,” Robin says, “Most I’d get out of her was some hand holding before you came around.” 

She releases Steve from her grasp and rises once again. 

“But my point is, you two are going to make a fantastic fake couple. And maybe even an excellent real one.”

Steve face palms. “Robin.”

“Sorry, sorry! Make sure to take pictures for me, alright? I’ll be so sad to miss this happening in person.”

Steve stands, grabbing Robin’s bag for her. “Yep. Alright. See you later, Rob.”

He looks at you with what you’re quite positive is fear in his eyes. He leads her to the door, and you can’t help but chuckle, even if you’re nervous as shit, as he reassures her that there will be pictures, and that you’ll tell her all about it. 

————

“Just hang it up on the doorframe, and then you can hold stuff up to it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

You sit cross legged in the center of Steve’s bed, watching him rummage through his closet. He’s going to knock your dress on the floor if he doesn’t quit his frenzy. 

You’d told him it wasn’t necessary that he coordinate his outfit with yours, but he insisted, so you brought your dress over for him to see. Steve has a feeling that when he sees you in it he’s going to lose his shit, not that he can tell you that. 

“You know, I never thought these would be useful. But I guess your asshole dad dragging you to business events pays off sometimes.”

Steve lifts a bunch of hangers from the rack and pulls them out of his closet, setting them on the bed beside you.

“Fancy,” you say, smirking.

He rubs his hand over his chin, the other braced against his hip. “Yeah.”

You can tell he’s a little frazzled at this. The reminder of dressing himself up to be paraded around by his father—a father who doesn’t spare Steve a second when not in the public eye. 

You hate that you’ve made him dig up all these memories. 

“They all fit okay?” you question. 

He nods, that one insistent lock of hair slipping free. He pushes it back before you have the chance to. 

You slide off the side of the bed and stand. You gesture for him to sit and that gets a smile out of him. 

After he’s settled, you lift each suit up one by one, seeing which matches the blue of your dress best. You’re only glad that your sister picked a nice shade: a dark, rich midnight blue. The kind you’d be able to spot from far off in a department store and need to take a look. 

You get to a sort of soft gray one, and Steve stops you. You hook it up on the doorframe beside your dress. 

“I think that looks nice, yeah?”

You walk backwards until your spine meets Steve’s knees. You brace yourself, hands on his calves. His chin meets the top of your head because of how high up the bed is. 

“I like it a lot, Harrington.”

He snorts, and you can feel the puff of air against your scalp. He’s warm, his presence all around you. His cologne, maybe his shampoo if you let yourself fall in between his legs. But you don’t. You stand. 

“Looks pretty solid to me,” you tell him, though your grin falters just slightly enough for him to catch it.

He puts a gentle hand on your cheek, making sure you keep your eyes locked on his. 

“Hey. It’s gonna be great, okay? You’re going to kill it in that dress. Probably kill me, actually,” he laughs. “We’ll handle it together, alright?”

“Alright, Steven.” You’re trying not to over-analyze that comment. This is not the time to get sweaty. 

He stands up, hand sliding down from your cheek to cover your collarbones. You wrap your arms around his back on instinct, and you swear you see him blush as he moves to encircle you in his own. 

“Does being your fake boyfriend mean your incessant picking has only gotten worse?” 

You rest your forehead against his chest. You can hear the steady thump of his heartbeat. You think about how nice it might be to do this all the time. What it might be like if he weren’t your fake boyfriend, but your real one. 

“Mhm,” you mumble. “I plan on continuing it, too.”

Steve’s hands run up and down your back. 

“I look forward to it,” he whispers. There’s a part of you that knows he means it.

————

Steve hasn’t stopped looking at you since you met him at the door to the wedding venue. 

You’d run down, more than happy to have company that wasn’t your sister's bitchy bridal party. 

He stands with you now, waiting until he’s allowed to take his seat, and you can feel his eyes burning into you. 

Not that you’re any better than he is. 

His suit fits him just right, and every time he pushes his hair around, you watch his shoulders move under his jacket. It’s driving you insane. And he’s wearing that fucking ring again. Except this time, there’s also one on the middle finger of his opposite hand. 

The sun is hitting him just right, turning his eyes this amber color. It’s mesmerizing. You notice then that his tie is the same blue as your dress. 

“Steve?”

“Hm?” 

“Did you have that? Just lying around?” 

He follows your gaze to his chest. No, he absolutely didn’t. He ran out and picked one up in a shade as close as he could get it to yours. Wearing something that felt like a piece of you had his mind abuzz. Abuzz with you. 

It’s the same way he feels about these rings Robin bought him. She said you were into them, always talking about Steve’s hands or something. He’s started to like them, but really it’s for you. Most things are. 

“Yeah. I found it in a drawer.”

Robin would slap him if she were here. He doesn’t know why he lies, but he does. And then you’re blushing and he’s got to sit down. He squeezes your hand one last time, an encouraging gesture, but one that has so much more buried beneath it.

The ceremony thankfully goes quickly for you, and you’re grateful, hating having to stand up there like you give a shit, like your sister is some saint. 

For Steve, it’s the slowest wedding he’s ever been to. You look so fucking gorgeous and he can’t keep it together. He barely even pays attention to the wedding, too busy looking at you. The way your indifference shows on your face, even if you know you’ll hear about it later. The way your hands wrap around the little bouquet you’ve been given. The way the setting sun sets your skin alight, and he thinks that you might truly be the death of him. 

When the ceremony has concluded, when Steve is looking for you in the reception hall, he realizes he has to tell you so. You deserve to know how gorgeous you are. He’s beating himself up for having said you looked ‘great,’ and that was all. 

You spot him first, and rush to him like you had before, anxious to be near him. 

“My mother is looking for me,” you tell him.

“You want to get some air?” His hand finds the small of your back, already leading you away from the crowd and just outside the doors. 

“You’re such a good fake boyfriend.”

You suck in a breath of cool air, shake your hands out. 

Steve smirks, hands moving up to massage at your shoulders before he even has a chance to give the action a second thought. “Just knew you’d like to get away is all.”

Knew. 

The word hits you and you feel like you’ve been slapped. Goddammit, Robin. She’s been in your head all day, and you’ve done nothing but pick up on the little things Steve does for you, the things he seems to know about you, that make him so much more than just a best friend. 

You’re fucked. 

“Thank you, Steve. For that, and for coming to this. It means a lot to me.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’d do it again.”

He’s looking at you with such fondness, and you have a feeling he wants to say more. You grab hold of one of his wrists, locking your eyes with his in hopes that it will communicate the message. Go ahead. 

He exhales. This sort of thing used to be so easy for him, but it’s never been that way with you. He knows it’s because you aren’t just some chick he wants to take out. You’re everything. And he’s fumbling for words. 

“I, uh, I wanted to tell you that…” You squeeze his wrist, and he continues, albeit with a shaky voice. “I wanted to tell you that you look beautiful.”

A smile creeps up and onto your face before you can stop it. 

“I mean, you always look beautiful, b-but tonight you’re just—stunning. Like, totally breathtaking. Don’t let anyone hear this, but I’d even say you look better than the bride.”

You let out a laugh then, the kind that comes straight from your belly, rich and sickly sweet. It makes Steve laugh, too. He can’t believe you. You’re unbelievable. 

“Sorry, Steve, I just–fuck that was so funny.” You straighten up, putting your serious face back on. “Thank you for saying that. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m serious, you know. You’re gorgeous.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, lips warm and plush against your skin. 

You go all warm and fuzzy inside. “Thank you, Stevie.”

He smacks another kiss to your cheek, just because he can. 

“You look pretty too, you know.” 

Steve blushes at your comment, and it’s at this very moment that your mother’s voice rings out, “Sweetie! Come in here, people want to see you!”

Fear flashes across your face, any trace of the sweet flirtiness there seconds before having vanished. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve says, watching you gesture towards your mother, telling her you’re on your way.  “Let’s do this, yeah?”

You make eye contact with him, and he grabs hold of your hand, weaving his fingers between yours. “Yeah.”

————

“So, how’d the two of you meet?”

You’re surrounded by a crowd of women, some are your family–your mother and sister–some women you’re not even sure you know. 

“School.” Steve saves you from having to speak first. “We went to high school together, but we met through a mutual friend.”

Your mother quirks a brow. “Robin,” you tell her. 

“Oh! What a lovely young lady.”

Steve snorts and you slap him on the back. Not that anyone could’ve seen it with how close he’s got you pressed to his side. “Yep,” Steve coughs, “She’s great.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, hoping it’ll give him a moment to suppress his smile. Your sister steps away from her friends, catching the action. 

“So, Steve, does she treat you okay? I know my sister can be a bit frantic sometimes.” You watch your mother down the rest of her wine, and you know she’s hoping nothing breaks out between the two of you like it has plenty of times before. 

Steve’s arm wraps more firmly around you, his hand coming to rest on your hip. Everyone has their eyes locked on you, waiting, hoping that Steve will spill some sort of secret that they can spread throughout Hawkins like wildfire. Nothing beats good gossip around here. 

He squeezes your hip, and for a split second you think the gesture might be possessive. Protective, even. 

“She does. Your sister is considerate and thoughtful, and she’s the best woman I know. I’ve never felt more comfortable than I do with her. And if she’s ever frantic, it only helps her deal with me when I’m the same way.”

You feel like you could pass out. Because you know he meant every damn word of that. You know he isn’t lying. 

Your sister looks between the two of you. “Well, I suppose that’s good to hear.” Her smile is nothing but insincere when she walks off to greet another wedding guest. 

One of your aunts swoops in, and Steve feels you clutch his side a little harder. He has a feeling you’re about to be ridiculed. 

“Such a lovely day, isn’t it? You two ever think about tying the knot?”

Steve pinks and your hand slips under his suit jacket, clutching at the fabric of his shirt instead. Is this really the time?

“No,” you pipe up. “I haven’t really given it much thought.”

The woman frowns at you. “Well, isn’t that silly? You better get around to it sooner than later, honey. Take after your big sister. You won’t be young forever.”

You go to speak, but Steve’s already begun. “I’m sorry, but she doesn’t have to get married on anyone else’s terms. Hell, she doesn’t have to get married at all, and I can say that in utmost confidence. Maybe back off, okay?” 

Your aunt looks absolutely scandalized, as if she cannot bear to accept what just happened to her. 

Steve starts to lead you away from the group. “Come on, baby.”

Baby. 

Steve called you ‘baby.’

You don’t have time to analyze that though with the way he’s escorting you back outside. He parks you on a bench and starts to pace in front of you. 

“I can see why you didn’t want to do this now. Jesus, are they always like that? I thought my dad’s colleagues were dicks, but my god.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Wait—can you call judgmental ladies dicks?”

You snort and bury your face in your hands. “Yes, Steve, I think so.” It comes out muffled, but he hears it all the same. 

When you look up, Steve is staring at you, and he’s much closer than he had been. He starts to say something, but both your mother and sister have shown up, looking for you. 

“Sweetie! What are you doing out here?” Your mother looks frazzled, and maybe a little tipsy. You knew your sister would be a bitch on her wedding day, but apparently your mother hadn’t yet realized.

“Escaping the mob.”

“Your aunt isn’t entirely pleased with your behavior, I’ve been told.”

You stand up then. “Honestly, mom, I don’t really give a shit. I came to this wedding, like you told me to. I brought, Steve, like you told me to. And I just don’t care anymore. I’m sick of your bullshit.”

She looks aghast, way more than your aunt had. 

You look at your sister, who’s clearly hoping to see you fuck up. 

“Congratulations on fucking yourself over. You’ll have a severely depressing marriage.” 

“C’mon, Steve.”

He takes your hand, and he can’t help but giggle as he follows you out. 

————

“Sweetheart? You comin’?”

You’ve stopped halfway up Steve’s stairs, a far off look in your eyes. He’d brought you back to his place to stay the night, and now that you’re here, it’s like every thought you’ve had about him is fit to burst. This cannot just be a tonight situation. You can’t let this end here. 

You drop your dress where you’d been holding it up to prevent yourself from tripping. 

“Maybe Robin’s right. About the chemistry.”

Steve’s hands go to his hips. He’s got no idea what you’re on about, but the way you’re looking at him is enough to have his heart rate kicking up a notch. “Chemistry?”

“Yeah. She pointed it out. And she said we’d make a fantastic couple, remember?”

He blushes. He hopes this is going where he thinks it is. Tonight has made him realize how much more you are to him than just a friend. He wants you all the time. “Yeah, I remember.”

Your heart is pounding and you feel like you can’t really breathe, but if you don’t say this now, you’re not sure you ever will. 

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” He’s never been so stressed in his life. He’s actually starting to sweat. 

You exhale and push the words out. “I don’t want you to be my fake boyfriend. I want you to be my real one.”

He coughs, chokes really, and you move up the stairs towards him to make sure he’s okay and not actually sick over the matter. 

“Are you sure?” he asks, surprising himself with the ability to speak considering how raw his throat feels. 

“Wouldn’t have said so if I felt otherwise, Harrington.”

There she is, he thinks. You really want him. Just like he does you. He can’t believe it.

“Again with the picking. You’re so mean to me.”

You smirk, your hands finding his sides again. You seem to have some attachment to them, and Steve wonders if it’s because you know there are scars underneath. If you’re telling him more than what you can bear to say. Giving him a glimpse of all you have to offer him, all the love you might hope to share. 

“I’ll show you mean, you little shit.”

You press your lips against his before you can second guess yourself, before you let that little voice win. 

Steve hums in surprise, but it’s clear he’s not upset by the gesture with the way he responds to your touch. His hands find your neck, thumbs stroking over your cheeks. 

He’s kissing you back, and fuck if he’s not trying to tell you everything he’s been feeling. 

When you pull away for air, Steve’s too greedy to let you go. He pecks your lips once, twice more, and when he really can’t breathe, he peppers your face instead. Now that you’ve given him the chance, he seriously can’t get enough of you. 

“Damn.”

You laugh, and push that strand of hair back where it goes, this time getting to it before he can. 

You take Steve’s wrist in your hand. It’s late. You hadn’t realized how worn out you were, but you are. 

“Can we go to sleep?” you ask, searching his brown eyes. His lashes are unfairly long, but you’ll have to berate him about it later. 

“Do I get another one of those before bed?” He’s already hauling you up the stairs, wanting you settled. 

“If you’re good.”

————

“So when did it happen?” Robin’s voice is almost accusatory.

“What?”

You’re standing close enough to Steve to ensure that you can hear Robin on the other side.

“When did this love confession take place?”

“That’s not what it was—”

“Just tell me when, dingus!”

“Last night, after we got home. She told me she didn’t want it to be fake anymore.”

“Shit!”

Steve rolls his eyes. You fuss with the belt loops on his jeans, trying to figure out what she’s been up to. “What did you do?” he asks. 

“I owe Dustin twenty.”

“You bet on us?” Your voice is loud enough that she hears it, and you know she’s cringing even if you can’t see it.

“Maybe? Yes. I bet that you’d give up the act later than that, that you two would be cowards about it. Figured you’d both wallow in self pity for a while before you just came out and said how you feel.” 

Steve looks at you, and mouths: Are you hearing this?

Robin keeps going. “Dustin said you’d come to your senses quicker than that. He bet on the wedding day specifically. Goddamnit!” 

You take the phone from Steve, and his forehead meets your shoulder. You can feel the way he shakes with laughter. 

“Thanks for having so much faith in us, Rob.”

She chuckles. “What? You’re both extremely good at lying to yourselves. I expected this to be much more dramatic.”

“Mhm,” you start, a plan forming in your mind. Steve can almost feel it. “Hey, Robin?”

“Yes?”

“Just for that, I’m calling in sick for Steve today. That shift is all yours.”

“No. Nononono—”

You hang up the phone. That means there won’t be the buffer that is Steve Harrington to prevent Robin having to interact with Keith. She’ll be stuck with him all evening. 

“That was just cruel,” Steve laughs. 

You cross your arms. “Oh, so you wanna go in then?”

He smiles at you and holds his arms out. You move into the circle of them. His hands find your waist and squeeze. “No, I didn’t say that. I haven’t had a day off in months.” 

“So quit whining.”

“See? I’ve only been your real boyfriend for like, a matter of hours, and you’re still being so mean to me.”

You lean forward and press a sweet kiss to his lips. It seems to appease him. 

“Was that mean?”

“Not at all.” 

You grin and kiss the corner of his mouth.

“Mean and a tease. Wow.”

You let out a breath of a laugh. “Only for you, Stevie.”

He takes your face in his hands, fingers pushing gently into your skin. 

“Damn right.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

tagging: @clovermunson

[cherry-romper]

Days off with them

+ Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Marco, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Porco, Pieck, Zeke

Eren; Staying Behind

You and Eren had been assigned cleaning duty that morning - even though it was supposed to be your day off.

Eren listened to you while you ranted and raved about how you shouldn't be doing it and should be allowed to be free for the day.

You'd both been invited to the market with Sasha and Co. but the Eren said he didn't fancy it.

You silently thanked Eren, because you, too, didn't want to go to the market.

The two of you then spent the day sparring together and messing around.

Mikasa; Hanging out

You'd gone camping the night prior to your day off. Your camp consisted of the top ten in the cadets and a few others, such as yourself and Armin.

You'd shared a tent with Sasha and Mikasa, so the three of you all woke up around the same time.

Sasha was excited to go hunting so she left just you and Mikasa to decide what to do for the day.

It was Mikasa who asked if you wanted to spend the day with her, much to your surprise.

Armin; Library

The two of you met, coincidentally, in the library. You'd been looking for a book all morning and couldn't find it anywhere.

As it turns out, Armin had already checked that book out, although he hadn't read it yet.

He told you his plans for the day; to read under a tree until sundown, then go home and read some more.

Since he had the book you wanted, you proposed you tag along with him, and read the book you wanted together.

Marco; Lazy Day

You weren't used to having time to yourself. So, when the time came to relaxing you weren't sure what to do with yourself.

Like most soldiers you slept in, but this made you miss breakfast.

You soon learned that Marco had been waiting for you all morning in the mess hall.

He brought breakfast to your room and helped you adjust to the free time.

You ended up being overwhelmed from actually being able the think for once. Marco stayed with you, per your request, and comforted you the entire day.

Jean; Market

Jean's love language is quality time (among others), so on days off he often waits for his friends to suggest something and just tags along.

He's down for anything as long as he's with the people he loves, especially you.

He also loves doing things, he's not one to just sit around and talk, he like to be actively doing something. i.e. walking around, cleaning, working out. He doesn't mind what he's doing, as long as he's not doing it alone.

He LOVES the marketplace. He finds comfort in the ambience of the bustling people.

Connie; Visiting Family

Any excuse to go home, and Connie is there.

Recently though, he's been torn between savouring the time with his friends or visiting his family again.

Either way he might not see any of them again, so he often acts out of impulse on the day.

So, being the genius he is, he drags you along to visit his family with him.

Sasha; Hunting

She offered to teach you how to hunt, telling you it was an essential life tool.

You listened to her intently, being sure to mimic her movements precisely.

Still when it came to killing a small bunny, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

She found it so heart warming that you couldn't kill the innocent, contrary to the way you were on a battlefield.

Levi; Tea Shop

Days off for the Scout's faculty don't really exist, most live by the "I'll sleep when I'm dead" motto – especially Levi

Still, you had convinced him to tackle his ever-growing pile of paperwork in a small tea shop in the market.

It didn't last long, he hated how many people came in and out of the shop, no work was completed.

Instead, the two of you peacefully people watched soaking up each other's company

Hange; Experiments

As per, Hange could be found hunched over their notes, frothing at the mouth thinking about the breakthroughs they could make.

They insisted you work with them to come up with new theories.

You were smart and they respected that, plus you had a similar passion as them – less to do with titans and more to do with finding out the truth.

It wasn't how you'd wanted to sped your day off, but seeing Hange light up when you'd theorise with them made it worth it.

Erwin; Working

What else would this man be doing? He was more likely to work himself into a grave than he was to die in combat.

Still, he didn't often get time to simply hang out with his comrades. So, he got up early, working himself to the bone to get his paperwork done at record pace, simply so he could spend a blissful summers evening in your company.

Reiner; Napping

It wasn't his intention, nor yours, to fall asleep in the pasture.

You had been cloud watching, trying your hardest to take your minds off the horrors that played on repeat.

You brought each other so much comfort that it was almost impossible to not feel tired around each other.

It was jean who found you two, tangled together in the field. He NEVER let you two live it down.

Bertholdt; Market

Everyone had suggested it, but neither of you wanted to go. Still, come 7 am, you found yourself in the back of a cart and on your way to the market.

Somewhere throughout the day you had lost everyone, leaving the two of you alone together, to wander the stalls.

Bert felt rather homesick, seeing all the shops gave him a horrid nostalgia. You'd taken notice of his hesitation and hooked your arm with his, trying to offer his as much comfort as possible.

He was taken aback sure, but your touch helped him more than he thought it could. To be honest, it scared him a little.

Annie; Hanging out

Absolutely, not in the mood to do anything, ever. She just wants to get her mission over with, she has no real reason to do anything or make friends.

Still, she's grateful that you, along with some others, still try to spend time with her.

Even so, she spends the day in her room but not without inviting you to come sit with her.

Porco; Beach Walk

You had decided to travel along the coast for your day out, desperate to get away from the busy city.

Was it an authorised absence? Not at all. And somehow you managed to convince Porco to come with you.

You didn't tell him that you 'technically' weren't allowed to be leaving Liberio, when he find out he tried to convince you to go back, scared of the repercussions.

However, after seeing you so happy to be on the beach, he decided the consequences would be worth it, given neither of you had long left to live.

Pieck; Hanging out

Still not used to her legs, Pieck had asked you to stay with her while she caught up on her books.

She'd been wanting to read them when she got back from Paradis, so to do so in your company was more than she could have hoped for.

Though, she often found herself getting distracted by you, who sat next to her, head bobbing as you feel asleep reading your own book.

Zeke; Hanging Out

Simply put, he took you on a walk around Liberio.

He kept you close the whole time, being sure you were safe, talking about everything and nothing.

He was content with just being.

Even for just a moment, if he could exist alongside you, everything he'd done would have been worth it.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Not Weak

Highschool Gojo x reader classmate

Pairing: Gojo x reader (this can be seen as romantic or platonic since I didn’t really specify. I do like platonic friendship stories a lot tho)

Summary: You are trying your very hardest to catch up to your classmates and not get left behind.

Warnings: language, mentions of a little blood, fainting kinda

Hope you guys enjoy!

*************************************************

Pathetic. There was really no other way to put it. Truly and utterly pathetic was what you were. All this training and yet you could barely summon any energy.

At this rate you’d only be able to defeat a raccoon.

“Ugh why can’t I do it…” you slump down on the tree, the target in front of you barely scratched.

You were a first year like your classmates, Gojo, Geto and Shoko but for some reason they were all improving and you were still stuck in the same place like a fly in mud. Your family had a technique, ice manipulation (excuse me while I make things up) but for some reason you were the only person who wasn’t an instant prodigy. It was extremely discouraging, especially when Gojo and Geto were so strong already.

“Hey snowflake, you’re getting better, almost felt a little chill there for a second”

“Gojo… did you come here just to make fun of me?”

“Aw cmon I wouldn’t do that, just wanted to see what you were up to, you weren’t at breakfast.”

“Just training… I’m close to a breakthrough I can feel it”

“Well do us all a favor and figure it out soon because this heat has been killing me- would love a personal air conditioner”

“You threw a rock aimed at his head which of course bounced off thanks to his new trick, infinity.”

“Rude” you just rolled your eyes and moved to stand again, ready to try again.

“Satoru stop picking on y/n” Geto emerged from the trees.

“Huh? I’m not picking on her, if anything she’s bullying me!”

“Yeah like that’s believable…” Shoko popped out behind Geto. Cigarette hanging from her lips.

“Great you’re all here…” you mumbled. Now you can all witness my patheticness…

“We didn’t see you all day, we got worried” shoko ever the sweet one looked at you concerned.

“Well I’m fine” you said with a bit more bite than you meant to.

“Ooh someone’s in a mood”

“Leave her alone Gojo she’s working hard unlike you”

“Why you little-“

“It’s not exactly a lie though is it”

“You to suguru?!? I thought you guys were my friends!”

During their little scuffle you snuck away. Your mind on one thing and one thing only. Getting your damn technique to work.

Once you were far enough away you positioned yourself towards a large boulder.

Ok breathe in

Breathe out

Focus

You raised your hand towards the boulder.

Focus

Focus

Prickles travelled up your arm towards your hand.

Ok now build the energy in the palm

Hold it

Hold it

Don’t lose it come on!

Focus!

Focus!

You trembled trying to control the energy

“FUCK” you felt your body jerk heavily and the energy disappear completely, like it did every damn time before you could even send it out.

You doubled over breathing heavily.

Why?! Why couldn’t you do it!? Were you always going to be this weak??? No, no you couldn’t… if you did they’d leave you behind… you couldn’t be left behind….

Again. You had to try again.

“Ok, focus” you repeated this cycle about a hundred more times or so it felt. It was nighttime but you were still at it.

Just……one……more…..time…..

“Urgh” you collapsed onto your hands and knees. Blood droplets coated the grass. You coughed a few more times before continuing your ritual.

Again… one more time…

But this time when you rose you stumbled and fell again.

Pathetic. Come you useless sorcerer get up. Every bone in your body was screaming but you ignored it completely and rose once more.

Focus

Focus

Foc-

Suddenly your target boulder blurred and you felt yourself tipping to the side.

“Woah hey, you ok?” Gojo…. What was he doing here. And most importantly why couldn’t you speak.

He held you upright and leaned down to look at your face,

“You look like hell…” his eyes gleamed in the darkness, appraising your sorry state.

“Mmfine” you slurred unconvincing.

“Hm yeah sure you are…” Gojo said sarcastically.

“Come on, let’s go find Shoko.”

“I don’t nee-“ your world spin again and gojo gripped you tighter so you wouldn’t fall.

“You were saying?” He raised an amused brow.

You sighed, there wasn’t really much training you could do when you couldn’t stand…

You nodded half heartedly in Gojos direction. You tried taking a step and stumbled,

“Alright stubborn Bambi up we go”

Ah!?

“Gojo I can walk, let me down!” His long legs easily carried you both across the training field in record time.

“Stop moving or I’ll drop you geez”

“Gojo-“you sighed in defeat. Hating yourself even more for getting dizzy again and being forced to lean your head on his chest.

“Don’t wake shoko… just need sleep…” you whispered but you knew he heard it”

He looked down at you and thought for a moment.

“Uh you sure? You were coughing up blood you know…”

“Mm sure…” you mumbled already halfway to lala land. For trash like him, he sure did smell good…

“Ok fine but in the morning you should at least let her-….aaaaand you’re asleep.” He sighed, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest. He frowned a bit at your state. He knew you were trying but some people just weren’t cut out for this line of work. He wasn’t trying to be mean or anything, it was just the truth…

He knew you wouldn’t take that well if he told you that though. Ugh why did things have to be so complicated!?!

****************************************************

The next morning you felt like a hundred bricks were weighing you down.

You groaned as you tried to sit up. Every single part of you ached.

You vaguely remembered last night with Gojo. Heat rose shamefully to your cheeks. How embarrassing it was that he had to carry you and to top it off you fell asleep on him!? How were you going to face him ugh…

It took about a hour for pain meds to kick in enough for you to shower, change and promptly make your way to the training grounds again. You would make sure this time though you wouldn’t push yourself to the point of collapsing.

Ten minutes later you were in front of the same boulder in the same position.

Familiar pinprickles soon formed in your palm

Focus…

Focus…

Focus…

Foc-

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Fuck

Your concentration was abruptly broken by the unmistakable voice of your midnight savior.

“training duh” you said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you really that eager to fall into my arms again?”

You rolled your eyes and turned towards him,

“That was… well I guess I should be thanking you… sorry for the trouble last night…” you mumbled scratching the back of your neck.

“Mm I’d believe you expect for the fact that you seem eager to repeat last nights fiasco.”

“I’m fine now… I’ll know when I should stop…”

That was a lie, you both knew it.

You turned back to your target hoping that Gojo would leave you alone.

Palm raised up

Focus

Focus

Focus

Just a bit more…

Almost there…

Ah! Your body jerked like it did every freakin time and you let out a labored breath.

Gojo watched silently from the sidelines

You tried a few more times, your breathing and now coughing getting worse and worse each breath.

Finally when he felt you truly were at your limit again he decided to stop you.

Your eyes widened in surprise at the hand clutching your wrist because honestly you thought he had left awhile ago.

“What ….are you ….doing…?” You asked between heavy breaths.

“You’re gonna pass out if you keep going”

“I won’t… I’m ok really, just a few more then I’ll stop…”

“Yeah no, that’s not happening,”

“Let go, seriously it’s fine, I need to train-“

“When did you become more stubborn than me huh?” You tried pulling but he wouldn’t budge.

“If I let go are you gonna stop?”

“…… yes”

“You’re a horrible liar” he deadpanned.

“Ugh just quit it Gojo! Don’t you have better things to do than babysit me?? Can’t you see I’m trying to train over here??” You were starting to get really annoyed now.

“….” Should he say it? Should he say that maybe you weren’t cut out for this life? That maybe you should quit trying? Could he say it? It would break you he knew but better a broken you than a dead one….

You saw the change in his eyes and gulped suddenly uneasy, “what…?”

“Maybe…. Maybe it’s time to stop…” in his defense, he really was thinking about what’s best for you.

But you on the other hand…

Your eyes were wide as saucers. His words echoed like a deadly bell that sealed your worst nightmare. He said only a few words but you understood the deeper meaning behind them in an instant.

Weak

Pathetic

Useless

He and everyone else knew it

And now you were going to be left behind.

Against your will tears beagn to burn in your eyes.

“Y-You-“ but the words choked in your throat.

“I w-won’t” you whispered, hot tears now streaming down your cheeks while you yanked your hand away from him and he finally let you.

He looked at you with a face you hated more than anything, pity…

“Stop it….” You felt your emotions start to rise.

“Stop looking at me like that! I will get strong! I won’t stop! I can’t stop! So don’t you of all people tell me to stop!”

“Ok, listen I’m sorry, just calm down alright,” he held his hands up trying to calm you but it just make you angrier.

“No- I won’t calm down! You don’t get to come here and tell me I’m weak when I’ve been trying my hardest to get stronger! Not everyone is a prodigy like you Gojo!! But mark my words I’m going to kick your ass one day and make you regret ever underestimating me!!”

“I’m not trying to call you weak-“

“JUST SHUT UP ALREADY, CANT YOU YOU’RE ONLY MAKING THINGS WORSE! JUST GO ALREADY!”

“Y/n-”

“NO-ENOUGH! IM NOT WEAK! IM NOT WEAK IM NOT WEAK!!”

“CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH”

Both you and Gojo froze, eyes wide at the sudden noise. Slowly your heads turned simultaneously to the left where your hand was outstretched, towards the boulder- sorry correction- the pile of very teeny tiny rubble.

Wha??

“Gojo….”

“Y/n….”

You both slowly turned around to each other

Then promptly burst into excited smiles and loud laughter.

“I did it!!!”

“You did it!!!”

“I did it!!!!”

You jumped onto each other hugging and jumping up and down like children.

“See I told you I could do it!!!”

“You did didn’t you!?!!”

“I’m gonna be strong Gojo!! I will!!”

“You’ll be kicking my ass in no time!!”

You both were laughing like crazy people

*******

“Uhhh…. What the hell did we just walk in to….” -Shoko

“I’m not sure I even wanna know….”-Geto

- How I imagine them hugging lol

****************************************************

Hope you guys enjoyed! This was just a quick thing I wrote, was in the mood for some friendship fluff.

[starcurtain]

Interpreting Aventurine's Situation

(HSR 2.1 spoilers, watch out!) I think one of my favorite things to come out of Penacony is that the plot has left us with two completely opposite but equally valid interpretations of Aventurine's character. Is he a chosen child or just a "lucky" dog? The story leaves the door wide open for both possibilities.

Under a read more for space:

One Interpretation: Unfortunately for Him, Aventurine is Actually Blessed by an Aeon

If you work from the assumption that the Avgin mythology is correct, and Gaiathra Triclops is actually real (possibly a minor aeon of an unknown path or Ena, if you're on that train), then it's entirely possible, in game, that Aventurine has been blessed by a goddess to the point that he functionally cannot lose any gamble he makes. The odds are, literally, ever in his favor. In this interpretation, it doesn't matter how many gambles he takes with his life as the chip because he will always succeed. Despite how risky his behavior looks to everyone else, he's actually been perfectly safe all along.

But this is especially tragic because it means that, despite his mother's and sister's belief that his blessing will help everyone in their tribe, Aventurine's blessing has only ever extended to himself. He's not an omen of good fortune for his people. His luck was never going to protect his parents, sister, or friends. The goddess of the Avgin chose just one person and left the rest of her people to die.

This is where Aventurine's doubts stem from. He asks repeatedly: If the goddess can bless people, then why is life so miserable for the Avgin? Why do they have to live in pain, suffering, fear, and abject poverty if she could make them lucky enough to thrive? Why do people live if it's just going to be horrible?

(To be honest, I don't think this is out of line for the behavior we've seen of aeons so far. Even with aeons like Yaoshi, described as gentle and benevolent, with no intention to cause harm, their gifts often create horror in the human world.)

Aventurine's hands still tremble when he bets. He doesn't really believe he's blessed and still expects his own downfall at every turn--but it's never going to come because he is one of the few human beings in the entire universe with the direct favor of an aeon. Even Ratio, a skeptical, evidence-based genius, seems to think this might be the case.

(Choosing the Chinese because the text is a little clearer than the English, but basically: "This guy always has a way of dragging himself up out of the abyss, which can't be explained by just 'good luck.' Everyone is waiting to see him fail... Maybe even he's waiting too. But as time passed, I couldn't help but wonder: Will that day really come?")

This means Aventurine has lived a life of fear and uncertainty for nothing. He's spent his entire life awaiting a failure and painful death that will never come. He can't recognize the love of his own goddess nor trust in the faith of his own family.

The central question of this interpretation becomes "What does it mean for a single human to be favored by an aeon?" Can Aventurine really be called lucky after losing every single thing that has meaning in his life--all because an aeon chose him and only him? Should that be called a blessing or a curse?

The Opposite Interpretation: Aventurine Isn't Lucky At All, He's Just Skilled

On the other hand, the story leaves the door open to interpret Aventurine's situation in the complete opposite manner too. If, as the IPC seems to think, Gaiathra Triclops isn't real and Aventurine isn't blessed at all, then that means every single risk Aventurine has taken has actually been life-threatening--and that every single achievement he's reached has been by his own merits alone.

If Gaiathra's blessing isn't real, then Aventurine's life becomes one long self-run psyop: Everyone tells him he's blessed, he's lucky, he's favored--so young Kakavasha starts gambling early. Banking on this idea that he's favored, that he's chosen, he starts paying attention, he learns the tricks of the trade, figures out how to slip cards up his sleeves, how to word things just right so people will take his bait--he practices, practices, practices, until he can spot winning odds a mile away, until he can predict every possible outcome, until he's seen it all before.

In this situation, every single gamble he's ever made or will make carries a very, very real risk of failure--but Aventurine continues to succeed because he's just that quick-witted, just that aware, just that good at reading people. (He's been doing it for so much longer than everyone else he meets, after all.) He is the gambler extraordinaire, the archetypal charming rogue who can squirm his way out of any tight spot he gets into, time and time again.

He fears every gamble he makes because he has good reason to--there's literally never any guarantee that he will succeed, and he's constantly just flipping a coin to see what outcome he'll get. His personal skill and quick wit continue to turn things in his favor, but it's inevitable that one day he'll meet a situation that outwits him, a gamble where only a supernatural force could have saved him. And if you take this second interpretation, Gaiathra isn't real, so there won't be one.

This story choice would be interesting because it implies a greater degree of responsibility for everything that happens. If it's Aventurine's own quick wit and skill that continually save him, shouldn't he be able to help others with that skill? Shouldn't he have been able to help himself? How was he able to save himself from death but not from slavery? If it was skill, not luck, all along, then who do you blame for all the misery he still experienced?

This interpretation leads to greater questions of self-doubt and anxiety: Is it actual skill or just sheer dumb luck? Does Aventurine have what it takes mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and even physically to always come out on top by his own merits, or is he just the benefit of the wheel of fortune--statistically speaking, a one in a million chance still has to come through for that one, right? And when it all comes crumbling down eventually, will he have only himself to blame?

A Life of Uncertainty

The story doesn't actually give us any firm indication whether Gaiathra is real or not, or--even if she is real--if Aventurine is actually genuinely blessed. We just don't know, as players.

And Aventurine doesn't know either.

His faith in the goddess of the Avgin is shaky. He seems to want to believe and hold on to his people's mythology, but he has valid doubts that a goddess would choose to bless one person while leaving everyone else to suffer.

Is he the chosen of an aeon? And if he isn't chosen, then what meaning does any of it have? Is he just unbelievably skilled? Has he merely been lucky up to now? When will this blessing or luck or skill finally fail him?

Aventurine's most defining character trait is the extreme uncertainty that has plagued his whole life. What is true? What should he believe? Is he blessed or cursed? Does he have the talent to back up his massive boasts? Should others put any faith in him--should he put any faith in himself? Should he cling to his people's beliefs or reject the goddess that left him the sole survivor of a cultural extinction?

He can't trust anything. He can't trust his family's faith; he can't trust that he's actually a "chosen one" (because how could he chosen and his family be left to die?). He can't even trust that he's lucky because maybe it was just the years of suffering practice he put in. Then again, he can't trust in his own skill because maybe he's just blessed?

Which is it? Which is it? Which is it?

Nothing is certain. Nothing can be taken for granted. Nothing can be proven empirically true or false. There are no guarantees for Aventurine.

Every single thing in his life is a gamble, and none of that is his fault.

What an amazing character. What a great story. Thank you for the treat, Hoyo!

[alessandra-14]

I finally found you

Dean Winchester x daughter!reader , Sam Winchester x niece!reader

Summary: Y/N who just lost her mother, discovers that her father is Dean Winchester and seeks him out. She meets him and his brother during a spontaneous hunt where she gets hurt.

Word count: 3.4k

It's been requested.

Four months have passed since your mother has died, but it still felt like yesterday. The house was eerily quiet, the kind of silence that gnawed at you, reminding you just how alone you were. No family which you could go to and no friends who could support you in any way.

You are only 15 but it feels as if you had lived a lifetime in the past few months. Losing your mother, the woman who raised you, who loved you more than anyone else in this world, was the hardest thing you had ever faced.

Before her painful death, which had been caused by a vampire during a usual hunt, she muttered out your fathers name. Dean Winchester.

You've heard about him before. Of course you did. Dean is a legend in the world of the supernatural. Most hunters know about him and his brother Sam, but you had never imagined that you were tied to them.

After the small funeral, with no family left, you began researching him. It wasn't easy to track down a man who lived off the grid, but with a few well-placed questions and some clever digging, you found some very vague leads. You knew you had to find him, not only because he is your father but because you had nowhere else to go.

....

You had been searching for him for around three in a half months now but with no luck whatsoever. During those two months you've taken on small hunts. Nothing harder than finding the bones and burning them. Your mother taught you a lot about hunting and world of supernatural. Sometimes even took you on easy hunts to learn some more.

That's how you ended up in the woods near a small town. A local ghost story had brought you to these woods. You’d done your research, pieced together the puzzle, and figured it was an easy salt-and-burn situation. That’s what you told yourself, anyway. But something felt off. The air was thick with something darker than you expected, something more than just a restless spirit.

For some reason you thought that it could be just an angry spirit who never got to rest in peace, that's why you decide to check it out.

As you walk through the woods to look for the spirit you suddenly hear loud and heavy footsteps. Quickly you hide into one of the thicker bushes on your left side. Even if it's just a person walking by, it's better to make sure it's completely safe.

In the meantime the two pairs of footsteps stop and all you can hear are their hushed voices.

"Did you hear that Sammy?" One of the men asks. The other man nods "Yeah"

They continue to approach the bush you are hiding in. You quietly take out the only weapon you have on you right now, A silver knife. As they come closer and closer, panic is starting to flow through you. Especially when you see the that they are holding guns. shit what are you supposed to do? Either start talking and slowly come out the bush with your arms raised or you could use your knife to take them out. The chance that it will work is very very low.

Before you can make a proper decision or plan one of the two men speaks up with a gruff voice. "come on out, we won't hurt you. We just want to see if you are a threat."

You can't help but hesitate for a moment. Should you answer that? Maybe they actually don't know you are hiding in a bush. Maybe they just said that to trick you into coming out.

After a quick debate you answer the two men while getting out of the bush. "I'm not a threat."

Sam and Dean frown as they look at you. Sam lowers his gun but Dean keeps it aimed on you "Then put that knife of yours down" Dean's voice is stern and doesn't leave much space for arguing.

But still you shake your head and keep the knife clutched tightly in your hand. Dean obviously doesn't like that. "Put the knife down now!"

At last you do as your told and put down the knife close to your feet.

“What are you doing out here?” Sam called, his voice low but firm.

You look at them closely but because of all the adrenaline it takes you a while to recognize who the two men standing in front of you are. But even so you can still clearly tell that they are definitely hunters.

“Hunting. Same as you.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, his gaze sceptical as he sized you up but still stops pointing the gun at you. “Kid, this isn’t a playground. These woods are dangerous.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the fear creeping into your chest. “I’m not a kid, and I know what I’m doing. There’s a ghost out here. I can handle it.”

Sam stepped forward, his expression softer but equally concerned. “This isn’t a ghost. It’s a werewolf. And it’s close.”

Your blood ran cold. You’d never dealt with anything like that before. Werewolves were a different kind of dangerous—fast, strong, and far from the simple salt-and-burn you were used to.

"Well shit." You sigh scared and then look back up at the brothers and that's when the realization hits you. You have seen these men before. Christ you were searching for one of them since months! And now he is standing right in front of you and you didn't even notice.

Sam and Dean look at you confused as they see your astound expression all of a sudden. Sam is the first to speak up. "Uhm... are you okay kid?"

Even though you already know the answer you still ask them their names just to make sure you're right. "What's your guys names?"

Both of them continue to frown confused but Sam still responds. "Well I'm Sam and he is Dean".

"Winchester?" You ask to clarify it.

Both brother nod. Dean's frown deepens as he is getting more suspicious of you.

You start smiling at their answer. "That's great! I have something really important to tell you Dean. You are m-" You get interrupted by a loud roar. That must definitely come form the werewolf.

All three of you turn towards where the sound came from and lift up their guns again. Sam turns to look at you. "You stay right here. Dean and I will take care of it.

But you are having none of it, so you shake your head and grab the knife, which you put down on the floor earlier.

"What? No! I want to help. " Dean also turns around to look at you and glares like his life depends on it.

"Hell no. If we tell you to stay put, then you stay put. You're going to get yourself killed otherwise."

Once again, his tone doesn't leave much space for arguing, so you roll your eyes and huff annoyed. "Alright. Damn. I'll stay right here"

Before you even know it, they disappear deeper into the woods, following the werewolf's roars.

....

You are left alone with your thoughts and worries. You know that you can't do much to help them. All you have is a knife, which is silver, so that could actually help, but honestly, you are too afraid to follow them and help hunt that werewolf. But at the same time, you feel a strong urge to do something. You can't just sit around and wait for them to return. What if something happens to them. You have finally found your father and uncle after months of searching, and for all you know, they could just die right now.

"Fuck it"

You sigh and wipe the sweat off your forehead before quickly taking off into the same direction.

As you get closer to the two brothers and the werewolf, you can hear that it's not going well at all. You rush even more till you reach them.

Sam is on the muddy ground trying to get up after being knocked over. His gun with the silver bullets is way too far out of his reach, and so I Dean's. What the hell happened. Your father is also getting knocked over and the werewolf is about to slash him so you warn him quick

"Dean, look out!" He manages to roll away, but the werewolf obviously doesn't give up just yet.

You quickly noticed that and ran over to it and stabbed it in its back with your knife. The werewolf shrieks and launches its paw right at you. Its sharp claws dig right into your stomach. The brute force of the werewolf's attack send you flying into the nearest tree.

Dean looks over to you and an unexplainable rage flows through him. He has never felt something like that before. Sure, he has gotten angry when someone hurts Sam, but that's his brother. He doesn't know you. Doesn't even know your name. Why does he feel this way?

He rapidly gets up from the ground and so does Sam. The taller brother grabs the gun which lays on the ground and shoots the werewolf. The silver bullets do an amazing job at killing the monster.

Dean on the other hand is only focused on you right now.

He rushes towards you quickly and kneels down next to you. "Are you alright!? Can you get up?" You get up but it hurts so bad. You try to stand properly which turns out to be harder than you thought

"Yeah I got it" You hold onto your bleeding tummy and press hard on it causing you to wince in pain. 

Dean looks at you in concern. The way you are holding onto your stomach and pressing hard on it, he gets the feeling that there is more damage then just a scratch. He speaks up softly. "Come here, let me take a look." His voice, soft as it is, but still holds the same authority as it did before.

You try to lift up my shirt but it hurts to bad and you whimper once again since the shirt sticks to the bleeding wound a bit.  "Owww" Dean isn't surprised by you whimpering and he immediately gets up and helps you. He lifts your shirt carefully to examine the wound. It's obvious that it's more serious then just a scratch. A long, deep gash runs across your abdomen. Dean raises an eyebrow. "This is serious. You need stitches as soon as possible, kid"

Your breath quickens and you shake my head immediately "No no no I-I'm fine really. It's ok it will heal in no time. No stitches!" Dean sees how distressed you are and speaks with a very gentle but firm voice now.

"Listen to me, sweetheart. This wound is a deep one and I am 99% sure it will leave a scar and may even cause infection if left untreated. I am an expert hunter and I can clearly tell that it's more serious than a little cut. You NEED stitches."

You desperately keep trying to breath but it's not working properly. It hurts so incredibly bad and you can feel your legs feeling more and more weak

"Yeah well we can't go to a hospital. You know that sir" Dean frowns when you call him sir but doesn't address it for now, instead focusing on you and the wound. He speaks in an incredibly comforting voice now, even though it feels very out of character for his usual self. "Don't worry, kid. I have some experience with stitching up wounds. I can treat it myself without the need of a hospital. We can do this at our motel room"

You think for a second and then agree. So you nod. You really need help. You can't die now. Not after finally finding your father and having a chance to have a new life.

You once again try your best to talk and breath properly but you are just in too much pain "Okay, yeah" You whimper the words out.  Dean gives you another look of concerned before speaking up again. "Let's go." Sam joins the two of you and the two men go to help you up and start to walk back to the their car. "Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?" 

You try to take a couple steps. It works out alright. So I nod towards the two men. "I think I got it" You answer quietly and the three of you start walking back towards their car Dean smiles a little seeing that you are able to walk on your own. He leads you over towards their car, which is a big black Chevy Impala. Sam goes towards the driver's seat and starts the engine, while Dean opens the passenger side door and asks you in a concerned voice again.  "Can you get in?" "Yeah" You sit down which causes you to let out a little yelp and a slight cry. God you simply can't wait to get this over with

Sam drives the car while Dean sits right next to you, checking up on your wound every now and then. It's not a fun ride, as Sam keeps hitting the breaks and making sharp turns that makes it uncomfortable and painful to sit. Still, Sam is clearly trying to be as careful as he can, being aware of your injuries and not wanting to risk putting you in even more pain.

You are completely tired so your eyes start closing. You really fight to stay awake but at some point you don't think you can do that for much longer. The tight grip you have on your bleeding stomach is starting to loosen up.  "I'm tired"

Dean notices in the corner of his eye that you are starting to fall asleep. He looks at you in concern and speaks gently but still stern. You can hear a hint of panic in his voice.  "I know, but it's only a few more minutes until we get to our motel room. Just try and hold on for a little while longer, okay? Don't close your eyes, please kid."

Dean thinks about what he can talk to you about so you stay focused on him and not the tiredness you are feeling right now. 

"So kiddo you wanted to say something before the werewolf made it's appearance. You said it was important. What is it?"

"You nod agreeing. Yeah it is pretty important. I have been searching for you for months now" You answer him through painted groans. Dean and Sam both frown at your words. "Why?" 

You look up and into his green eyes and attempt to answer but the words come out unclear and mostly in a whisper because you are just seconds away from completely passing out "Well I found out you're my father" 

You barely finish your sentence when your eyes close themself and you become unconscious. 

Dean looks down at you suddenly when you pass out. His eyes widen and he turns towards Sam, clearly worried about you. "What the hell?!" Dean speaks up right after Sam, concerned as well. "Damn it, she just passed out!"

But the only thing Dean can think about are the words you said. It was hard to hear every single word you said but the word "father" is what he heard loud  and clear. His head is spinning and his thoughts are racing. What the hell is he supposed to do now.

…. You wake up the next day around noon. Once you open your eyes, it takes a minute to realize where you are and what happened. 

You sit up in the motel bed and immediately wince in pain. You lower your head to see and touch the bandage on your stomach. 

Dean seems to be awake and looking back over at you when you wake up. He has a serious expression on his face and he gets up off of the bed when he sees you waking up. "Thank god you are finally awake kid. We were really worried you wouldn't make it." Sam is also awake and he sits up on his bed as well. He doesn't speak, instead looking down at you cautiously.

"Mhm" You mumble and nod, then lay back down with a groan. Everything just hurts. 

Dean walks over towards you and sits down beside the bed. He speaks up in a very concerned voice, now wanting to know everything about what happened in your past. "Take it easy. Are you in a lot of pain, kid? "

slight tears gather in your eyes as you agree. "Yes I am"

Dean is instantly very worried and his eyes widen even more when he sees the tears begin to gather in your eyes. He leans over and gently touches your shoulder. "Can I ask you some questions, kiddo?"

You look up at the man slightly confused. But then remember what you told him last night. Oh shit. you had already forgotten about that. You nod and look over at Sam for a second before returning your gaze to Dean. "Yeah sure"

Your father gives off a relieved sigh when you say yes. He looks at you intently and speaks up with genuine curiosity. "Can I ask you your name first? You never told us last night"

You just now realized that you really haven't told them your name yet, so you tell them.

"And how old are you, kid?" 

You start to slightly fidget with the bandages on your tummy. Even though you should play around with those. They just feel to tight and uncomfortable around your waist and stomach.  "I am 15 years old"

Dean looks at you for a second before he nods and seems to process this information. "Ah. I see. I have another question. Where are your parents?" He asks cautiously. 

Your expression immediately turns sad and you look away from the two hunters. "Oh. My mom is dead. She got killed 4 months ago by a vampire. And well I have been on the look out for my dad these past months. That's you."

You don't say anything for a second before you turn to look at him. "There is a letter in my backpack. It's in the very front. You can take it put and read it. You definitely will want to" Your mom wrote that letter years ago in case something happens and you have to seek out your father. She, of course, always  knew how dangerous her life as a hunter is. She explains everything to him in that long letter. 

Dean is intrigued by what you said right away. His eyes narrow slightly as he quickly gets up from the bed and walks over to your backpack. He unzips it and looks through the items for a minute before he finds the letter and pulls it out. "Is this it?" He holds it in his hand and walks back over towards you, holding it out with the letter towards you. There is clear concern and curiosity on his face as he looks up at you again.

You simply just nod.

Dean reads through the letter quickly. He feels a sudden mix of different emotions as he reads through the letter. The first one is shock, as he quickly realizes that you are in fact his daughter. The second one is confusion but also curiosity at the same time. The third one is guilt, as he realizes that you had to suffer so much while he was absent for years. He looks up to you after he has read the letter. "You are my..daughter?"

You sigh and keep my head down, so that they don't see my tears which ate now coming from a different cause than before. It's all just so overwhelming right now.  "Yes. In case you don't believe or trust me I have her old journal so you can read that if you necessarily want but I can surely tell you that you are my father. 

Dean is silent for a little while as all the emotions run through his body before he is able to respond. He looks down to notice your tears, his face softens further but he doesn't say anything about them yet. "I..I am very sorry for not being there for you. I had absolutely no idea you even existed"

"It's ok. It wasn't your fault. I am just glad that I have finally found you, dad"

A proud smile stretches across his face as he agrees. "Yeah me too, kiddo"

[animatorweirdo]

From the Shadows

You were expecting your baby's arrival, but then your friends decided it would be good for you to get out of the house and hike in the mountains with them. One incident of a missing friend somehow magically sends you to another place and not a good one. You end up as a thrall in a place called Angband, so now you take it upon yourself to find a way to escape before something happens to your baby. Luckily, you are not completely alone and find companionship with another thrall, an elf named Maedhros. Will you succeed in escaping? Or will things turn out badly for you and your unborn child?

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, an ex-boyfriend who ran away, dealing with pregnancy alone, falling, violence, Angband, becoming a thrall, lying, suspicious food and water, paranoia, dead characters, escape, a complicated birth, some fluff moments, losing a hand, blood, explosions, cold, and angst.

--------------------------------------------------------

- Life has been a bit of a bitch to you. You had successfully finished high school, and college, and got the necessary degrees for the job you wanted. You had secured a job and were well off. It was just your unfortunate pregnancy. Ever since that cowardly ex-boyfriend of yours from college ditched you when you found out you were pregnant and left you to deal with it alone, you had not the easiest time. 

- Despite the circumstances and your emotional state, you decided to keep the baby and luckily your friends and family had been supportive of your decision. They helped you continue with your life and helped you get things good and ready for the baby. The boss who sent you the job offer when you were still in college was understanding and offered a job you could do online since it could cause some risks if you started your work as a graduated chemist while pregnant. 

- Things had become better during those months, but now that your belly was bulging and your due date was near, you had been feeling anxious and restless. It could be pregnancy hormones, but they did not help relieve all the heavy stuff on your mind. 

- You felt many things, mostly regret. You were happy that you decided to keep your baby, but you regretted some of your past mistakes, especially dating your baby’s father, who turned out to be a sorry excuse for a human being. 

- You had not even decided what to do with the baby when you told him. You wanted his input first, but then he just stood up and left without a word. Even though it had been months you still felt pissed off by his act. 

- When your moods didn't improve and your friends took notice, they decided it might be a good idea to go out and hike. Have a little adventure and fresh air, rather than being stuck in the house. 

- You were not excited by the idea but when your parents pushed you to do it, you agreed and they arranged most of the things for the trip. 

- You all went hiking in this well-known mountain place that held many stories. You were not excited about walking up to the hills and mountains, but you did not deny that it helped take your mind off the past and the view from there was lovely. 

- At the top where you could see the vast woods and the city in the distance, the air felt nice and you even imagined taking these kinds of trips with your little girl when she was born, learning to go out once in a while and appreciate nature was not a bad thing. 

- But then the trouble started when your friends wanted to check out one of the caves. They held a lot of stories and the guides warned you not to go in them because some people had known to go missing there and never come back. 

- You thought you would just check it out and continue with your hike, but then your friend decided it would be a good idea to go inside. 

- You rejected the idea and then watched as your friend went inside, yelling stuff from within the cave. You tried to tell her to come back, but then you and your other friend heard her scream and a sound that sounded like she had fallen. 

- When she didn't respond, your other friend called for help while you went to check what had happened. You went into the cave and called out to your friend but no response. You found a steep fall at the end and a pit that led to darkness. You feared the worst and called out to your other friend. But then, at that moment, you felt a powerful wind behind you, making you trip and slide down the steep while screaming to your other friend. 

- You tried to slow down your fall as you fell into the darkness. You used your hands, but unfortunately, the sharp stone and gravy cut through your gloves, cutting and bruising your hand. 

- Your fall came to an abrupt stop when you felt ground beneath your shoes and stumbled forward. Luckily, you were quick enough to stop yourself from falling on your stomach. 

- Your hands were in pain from the fall, and now you were alone in the darkened cave, far away from the cave entrance. You felt strange as you could not see the top but you were able to hear your other friend's voice. You called out to her and then tried to look for your friend who fell, who was nowhere in sight. 

- You tried to call out to her, your voice echoing through the cavern, but there was no response. It was like your friend was never there. 

- Anxious but worried, you tried to check one of the tunnels. It was dark, too dark for your human eye to see properly. 

- You continued calling out your friend’s name, but there was still no response. The darkness and the absence of another human being’s presence caused you to feel paranoid. How could a whole human fall and then disappear into thin air? 

- You were certain, you and your other friend heard her scream and fall. 

- The whole cavern system began to feel like one big labyrinth, but then you found something on the ground. It was your friend’s scarf. You felt some relief from finding her stuff, but now you worried that something had happened to her. 

- A bad feeling crept into your skin when your ears caught sounds that could only be described as whispers. You were not able to understand them, but they caused you to feel immense fear and paranoia. When you heard something move in the shadows, you quickly hid yourself in a small corner, and then waited for something to appear. 

- You did not expect a scaly hand to appear from behind your head, silence your frightened mouth, and then pull you into the darkness. 

- Your flight and fight instincts kicked in and you tried to struggle as much as you could, but then more hands appeared and forced you to move. You couldn't see anything, but then you felt a harsh strike on the back of your head and you lost consciousness. 

- The next time you woke up, you found yourself in a room with creatures straight out of horror stories. You quickly slapped your hand against your mouth to avoid alerting them and stared at them with fear as they seemed to be fighting for the possession of your outer clothes they had taken from you. Luckily, you were still dressed in your usual clothes so you were not concerned that they had done something to you while unconscious. 

- There was a sharp pain in the back of your head, but quietly, you stood up and avoided alerting the ugly creatures that you were awake. 

- You saw the door and decided to go for it. You stayed as quiet as possible as you walked toward the door, keeping your eyes on the creatures, you could only guess to be orcs. After reaching the door, you quietly sneaked out and dashed through the corridors. 

- You quietly stepped through the corridors and then hid when you heard more of them come running. You sneaked around and then took in the surroundings. You nearly couldn’t believe your eyes. It was some kind of underground fortress, straight out of some kind of dark fantasy book. 

- But before you could react, you were caught by a bigger and nastier-looking orc. He then dragged you back to the previous orcs and told them to throw you into the cell since they were unable to watch you. 

- They harshly grabbed you and began leading you to what seemed to be dungeons. They threw insults and for some reason called you 'a round-eared elf’. 

- You were then thrown into some kind of cell. It smelled awful and you were certain there was a rotting corpse in the corner. You quivered and hid in a corner, trying to control your tears and panic. 

- You cried for perhaps a minute or two but slowly managed to calm yourself and recollect your thoughts. You looked around the cell and tried to make sense of your situation. It was hard as none of it made any sense, and you knew you were not dreaming, even though you hoped this was just an awful nightmare.

- You came to the cell door and saw the corridor and many more cells. You then heard sounds coming from the cell beside yours. 

- There was a small hole in the wall and you saw another person through it. It was hard to see but it seemed to be a man with long red hair. He didn't look well. He seemed malnourished and there were some bruises on him, but he appeared conscious enough to talk with you and you hoped for some answers. 

- "Hey, carrot top.." you called out silently. He looked around before his eyes looked toward you. His eyes had an odd glow in them, but you brushed that thought away and concerned yourself with getting some answers. 

- You tried asking about the place and what was happening, but he only advised you to remain quiet since the orcs did not allow much talking among the thralls. 

- He seemed baffled when you shared you had no idea where you were. You then explained you were looking for your friend and got caught by the orcs. The man was then kind enough to answer your questions and you learned about Angband and elves. 

- You felt shocked and figured you somehow managed to travel to another world. There was no denying it since you were not dreaming.  Now the orc’s comment about you being a round-eared elf also made more sense. 

- The red-haired guy was an elf himself and he softly advised you not to get yourself in trouble, because it might end badly for you. You only felt dread at the thought. There was no doubt that these orcs were violent, and would do horrible things to you and your baby.

- There also seemed to be not a single human around. If they were to learn that you were not an elf, then that could cause unwanted attention on you.

- You questioned the elf if there was a possible way out. 

- He explained you two were deep in the earth and the main entrance was heavily guarded by orcs and creatures alike. Escape was nearly impossible. 

- You crossed the main entrance away from the list and questioned if there were other possible ways out since you did not come through the main entrance. 

- He shared he had heard about other tunnels but had no idea where they could be. He was too guarded to have allowed a chance to look for them. You nearly felt pity for the guy, he seemed pessimistic and lost of all hope. 

- You told him that you were pregnant and that there was no way you would allow your daughter to be born in a place like this. He seemed saddened by your reveal and told you that you should play nice and perhaps the orcs won’t be cruel to you and your child. 

- You had no idea how long you had been in that cell, but eventually, you were taken out by an orc and taken to a room with other people. You saw that they were women and that they were pregnant as well. You only felt more dread because they were singling you out for something. 

- You were then told to start working on stitching and clothing. You had some basic knowledge of fixing clothes, so you started working and tried to get more answers in the meantime. 

- You talked with an elven woman, named Siriel, who seemed six months due. She was a pleasant person and answered some of your questions. She said that if you agreed to give your child away to them, they would get better treatment and be safe from the cruelty of your masters.

- The idea did not appeal to you in any way. You did not wait for your daughter’s arrival just to give her away to some monsters. There was also a high chance your captors were lying about the whole thing. 

- You received some questions about your ears and why they were round. You quickly lied that you were born that way and played it off as a deformity. They seemed convinced and even the orcs guards lost their interest in you.

- You felt relieved since it would play in your favor. If you did not make yourself appear different from the other thralls, then your captors would likely pay less attention to you. 

- After working atrocious hours in clothing, you were given some food and returned to your cells. You did not really trust the food, picking out the bad parts away and carefully sipping the water.

- You had managed to memorize most of the corridors and paths to the work room, but you would need to see more to start planning. 

- You investigated the cell avoiding the dead carcass, bones, and sharp rocks that could prick your feet. There was almost nothing of use, but you found a rock you could sharpen on the edges and use as a weapon in your time of need. The orcs used swords and clubs, but they would definitely not expect someone to use a primitive weapon like a sharpened rock. 

- You were startled when you heard orcs bring the red-haired elf back to his cell. It was loud and when the orcs left, you looked through the hole and saw him in a rough shape. He had new bruises and cuts that were still bleeding. When you remembered him mentioning that he was heavily guarded, you figured he was an important prisoner and thus he was tortured for something. 

- You offered him a piece of clothing and water for his wounds. He tried to reject your offer, but you managed to convince him that if he cleaned his wounds with something, he might avoid suffering from an infection. 

- You two stayed near the hole, passing items through the hole. He was reluctant by the exchange, but you advised him to pass the items back when the guards came to do their rounds.

- He was the only one you could talk to and you preferred to have some sanity by having some companionship. 

- You asked very little of what they did to him and offered some words of comfort. You eventually managed to convince him to share his name with you, which used to be Nelyafinwe, now changed to Maedhros. 

- He tried to discourage you from talking to him because he was a hostage, and having some connection with him could cause you and your baby harm, and he did not wish that upon you. 

- You assured him that you would be careful. He shared a bit more info about the dark lord and his servants, telling you who to avoid. You put them on a note in your mind. 

- And for a long time, you were forced to work with other pregnant women. You gathered information while trying to avoid being too suspicious. You gave some things to Maedhros in your cell, who continued trying to convince you to take the food since you were expecting, but you did not trust the food. They could hold bacteria or other things that could cause harm to your child. You even went as far as to try to filter the water through a piece of clothing you managed to snatch. 

- One good thing you couldn't figure out was that no one had seen or heard about another round-eared elf in the fortress. It could mean your friend was either safe in your world or that she was somewhere out of your reach. You decided to believe the first deduction. 

- During your free time in your cell, you would talk with Maedhros and sharpen the stone. Talking to him about random things helped you retain some sanity and sometimes you offered words of comfort when he came back from another torture. 

- One day, when you had fully memorized the guard schedule and become familiar enough with the other pregnant women to stay quiet about your activities, you took the risk to leave the room and look for the rumored tunnels. 

- You dressed yourself like the servants you had seen passing by, hiding your belly and successfully passing the orcs without suspicion. You finally had the chance to memorize more paths and corridors, figuring out the locations of mines and other things. 

- You caught the scent of sulfur in the mines so you figured the fortress was under volcanoes. 

- The place was more horrid the more you learned about it. However, when you deemed it was time to return, you went back and waited for another chance. 

- You successfully investigated the fortress three times but made sure to wait to avoid suspicion. 

- You shared your findings with Maedhros, who seemed horrified and concerned for your safety, trying to convince you not to go too far or you might suffer punishments. 

- You assured him you were careful and that Siriel kept your secret. You just had to find one tunnel. 

- One day, you succeeded in finding an entrance to the secret tunnels. You took one of the candles and went exploring putting your mind on the time so that you would not be noticed. 

- You found a cave that was secluded and had a small pond with dripping pure water. You knew some underground places possessed pure water pockets, so you took the chance and drank to your heart’s content.

- The water had a salty and mineralistic taste, but it was better than the water served by the orcs. 

- And finally, came the day when you memorized most of the cavern paths and found a way out. You could have taken the chance to escape on your own but decided that since you were no longer in your world, you would need someone to help you navigate, so you started planning an escape with Maedhros and Siriel.

- Unfortunately, the plan to take Siriel with you was put on uphold when you noticed she was nowhere to be found and no longer came to work at your work place. You tried to question other women about it, and they shared that she was taken away and hadn’t returned since. It caused you to feel suspicion and worry. She was only six months pregnant, so it would have been too early for her to go into labor, so why was she taken away? 

- Well, you got your answer on her fate when you found her body lying in the pits where the orcs dumped the dead thralls. Her once bright eyes devoid of any life and her stomach was torn open. It was a sickening sight. 

- The orc guard who had the job to watch over you and the other pregnant women then said something that gave you a hint on why Siriel was dead. He faked sympathy and revealed that if one of you behaved well, she would not have been dead. It nearly made your blood freeze when you realized that someone was on to you and your secret activities. 

- The orc then said that he felt some pity for you and the other women and offered help to get you out of Angband. You knew he was faking pity, and Siriel’s fate wanted you to strike his head down to a pulp, but you saw the chance and took it, faking gratitude and agreeing to the plan. 

- The orc then secretly gave you a key to your cell and you took it to safekeeping. 

- You shared what had happened with Maedhros and he shared his sympathies. You wanted to cry for Siriel since she was a kind soul, but since the situation was dire, you needed to put your escape plan into action sooner than planned. You could mourn for her once you were out of that hell hole. 

- You had memorized the schedule of Maedhros’s guards and when he would be taken away for another torture. When the chance came, you sneaked out and struck the orc in the head with your sharp stone. You took the keys to your elven friend’s cell and opened it. 

- Maedhros was shocked to see you free and opening his shackles. You explained your plan to him and what had happened, and as a gratitude for keeping you sane, you were going to help him out. 

- Maedhros tried to urge you to escape by yourself, but you countered that you were only familiar with Angband, and would be lost in the outside world, so he was going to need to be your guide. 

- You then led him through the dungeon and then to the tunnels, which to your relief had remained a secret. 

- You checked on the orc on one of the entrance locations, and found him there with others, just like you thought.

- You secretly led Maedhros through one of the stairs. However, your time soon ran out when an alert was sent. You two quickly ran, but the anxiety and stress might have triggered your labor because, at the steps, your water broke. 

- Maedhros had panic in his eyes when he saw what was happening, but you quickly instructed him to the hidden cave. He helped you reach there and blocked the entrance while you kneeled down in pain.

- Since there was really no other way to go through your labor silently, you decided to strip yourself half-naked and dip yourself in the pond, blocking your mouth to avoid making too much sound while you started pushing. Maedhros allowed you to grip his hand as you then tried to push your daughter out. 

- You do not know how long your labor took, but it felt agonizingly long. Maedhros tried his best to give you assuring words while looking out for danger in dread. When you felt something pushing out between your legs, you pushed for the final time and then dipped into the water to grab your baby. 

- You soon resurfaced after grabbing your baby and removing the umbilical cord. Your daughter released a small feeble cry as you grabbed your dry clothes and wrapped her around her. 

- You were shaking and freezing, so you asked Maedhros to hold her, urging him to keep her warm with his body heat. 

- He didn’t question it and gently took your crying daughter, keeping her against his chest and soothing her. She stopped crying and you felt glad. Her cries could have echoed and attracted unwanted attention. It also seemed Maedhros was experienced with babies. 

- You cleaned yourself and removed the remaining cord from yourself. You pulled yourself out and laid against Maedhros’s leg--- cold and deadly exhausted. 

- It was like your hips and legs had been hammered a thousand times. It was a straight-up awful feeling. The withered dress barely gave you any warmth. 

- You then turned your attention toward your daughter and asked Maedhros if there was anything wrong with her. The elf quickly assured you that your daughter seemed healthy as a day.

- You nearly found it humorous how good he was at keeping her calm, and he shared that he has six younger brothers and had been part of their lives when they were young. 

- When he felt you shiver, he took off whatever remained of his shirt and laid it across you, trying to help you keep you warm. 

- It was quiet in the cave, but no one seemed to know you were there and you struggled to keep yourself awake. 

- You felt awful that you failed to escape before she was born, and Maedhros tried to assure you that it wasn’t your fault and that he would keep watch since you needed rest.

- You felt emotional as you would have liked to have your family and friends there when your daughter was born. Your longing for them finally resurfaced after realizing how long it had been since you had last seen them. 

- Maedhros tried to comfort you, assuring you would be able to see them and your husband once you got out. You were safe and near the entrance, so you two had better chances than before. 

- You nearly felt silly when he thought you had a husband, and confessed about your situation with your daughter’s father and that you were not an elf, but a human, from another world. 

- He listened attentively even though there was a surprise in his eyes, and pity when you revealed that you had gone through your pregnancy on your own because your ex-boyfriend was a coward and that you once considered getting rid of your daughter before she was born. 

- Maedhros did not judge you and his initial surprise about you being a human vanished. He comforted you and told you how strong you had been to make it on your own. 

- He then asked what kind of name you had considered for your daughter. You had not thought of many names but told him you considered Anastasia or Estelle. 

- He then humored, telling you how the word ‘Estel’ was a word in Sindarin for ‘Hope’. And for a moment, looking at your daughter, helped him feel hope after so many years in captivity. 

- The mood lifted for a moment, even though the name was slightly cheesy, and even you considered it was a proper name for your daughter for now. 

- You lost more strength than you thought but Maedhros assured you that he would keep watch and allow you to rest. You felt hesitant at the thought of falling asleep, but it was like an automatic response and your eyes closed by themself. 

- You might have slept an hour or two, but it felt like a long time. When you woke up, you were relieved to see that nothing had happened during your rest and you three were still safe in the hidden cave. Your legs and abdomen were still aching, but you were no longer in awful pain. 

- You urgently needed to get out, so you dressed up and Maedhros helped you make a small sling that would allow you to carry your daughter against your chest. 

- You two quietly sneaked toward the next hidden tunnel. However, Maedhros then suddenly pulled you back and covered you when an orc jumped out of the shadow with an axe in hand. The axe struck him in the hand and you watched as Maedhros lost his right hand and in its place now stood a bleeding stump. 

- Maedhros cried out in pain but prevented the orc from touching you and your daughter, pommeling the creature to the ground with the sharp stone he had most likely snatched from you and killing it. 

- The sight of Maedhros killing the orc nearly frightened you, but when you two heard a coming noise, the elf then urged you to hide. 

- You did what he said and hid, but then froze when you realized he did not hide with you and remained behind to fight the orcs. The fight was short-lived as he was overwhelmed and eventually pushed down by the mass of orcs. 

- You nearly cried when you heard him yell in pain and be taken away. You successfully remained hidden. 

- There was no doubt that they would punish him severely. You considered your options. The freedom was right there and you could escape with your daughter. However, you felt awful aching at the thought of leaving Maedhros behind. He was perhaps your cellmate, but during your time in this hell hole you had become attached to him in a way.

- Your nose was then invaded by the familiar scent of sulfur, and you paused to consider your next move, formulating a dangerous plan to save your elven friend.

- Maedhros was taken to a room where his most cruel master, Sauron, awaited. Sauron had grown accustomed to Maedhros’s escape attempts and always delivered the harshest punishments. However, this time, if Maedhros denied everything and refused to yield, he could buy enough time for you and your daughter to escape. The defiant fire that once burned brightly in his soul was rekindled.

- Sauron threatened punishment but complemented how near he was escaping. Maedhros felt dread when the Maiar revealed that they knew he got help, and would do awful things to his ally once they were found. He then felt determined to put up whatever shield he could offer to protect your identity since they didn't know who you were.

- However, Sauron was disrupted when the whole hall began to shake violently and a loud explosion could be heard in the distance. 

- Amid the confusion, an orc arrived in the room, full of panic. He yelled how the mines and the lower floors were on fire. 

- Sauron quickly acted, ordering everyone to go put out the fires, because damaging the lower floors could cause severe damage to the whole fortress. 

- Maedhros was left alone with a few guards, but when they did not pay any attention to him, Maedhros felt someone pull him into the shadows. 

- He felt shocked when he saw that it was you who had stolen him from the guards and were now leading him through the corridors. He wanted to scold you for not taking the chance to escape, but then another explosion shook the fortress. 

- You had gone to the mines where the sulfur deposits were. You had spoiled oil all over the floors and left a trail that could spread the fire to the other floors, then lit them with a torch since sulfur was highly flammable. 

- You were serious about needing a guide, and when all of the fortress was distracted you two ran like hell. 

- You managed to avoid the guards since most were busy trying to end the fire and the explosions that threatened to destroy the entirety of the fortress. 

- You two found the initial entrance. You saw horses that were left unattended and urged Maedhros to take them. 

- You two then rode out of the cave, into the outside world, and away from Angband. 

- After riding as far as possible and finding cover in a forest,  Maedhros helped you rest and make a fire. Your legs were aching after such a ride. It was evident that the labor was still taking a heavy toll on you. You felt glad letting Maedhros lead your horse while you held on to the creature. You had ridden a pony when you were small, but there was no way you would have managed to ride a full-grown horse on your own, especially with a newborn baby in your arms. 

- You helped Maedhros tend to his still bleeding stump with whatever cloth you had left and you two tried to enjoy the warmth you had from the fire. 

- Maedhros thanked you for helping him escape, but scolded your recklessness and risking your chances for freedom. 

- You rolled your eyes at him and told him you wouldn’t have survived long since this wasn’t your world. 

- You then offered some pace beneath a cloak you managed to steal during your escape since your withered clothes barely provided warmth. He declined, insisting he would be alright and that you and your daughter needed it more. You called him an idiot and threw the other side of the cloak over his shoulders, claiming it had enough space for both of you. 

- He looked flustered by the closeness, so you guessed he was either not used to being so close with someone, or that he tried to be more gentlemanly about it. 

- While you two tried to enjoy the warmth, you pondered about the future.

- Maedhros confessed about his deeds as a kin slayer and that his kin were at odds with each other. You could be safe with them, but since you two were thralls, he didn’t know if he should risk your safety. 

- You assured him that you did not care about his past. If he was willing to sacrifice his own freedom and well-being for you and your daughter, then you could trust him. Actions spoke louder to you than words. 

- You two then basked in the warmth of the bonfire and the comfort of each other’s presence, wondering about the days ahead. 

[cutielando]

stand up | r.c.

synopsis: in which you stand up for yourself

my masterlist

Ever since you were little, your parents had always been fighting.

You would wake up to fighting, you would spend your days in constant fighting, you would go to sleep listening to your parents fight.

Oftentimes, the reasons were absurd. They had become like two small children fighting over crayons.

One day, your mother had decided that she had apparently had enough and left you and your father, saying that she couldn't keep living like that.

Leaving you alone with your father.

Everything was okay for the first few months, you both kept your distance from one another and barely talked when you were home. 

However, then came the hard times. 

The slaps, the punches, the insults, kicking you out of the house was the latest of them all.

You had gotten into an argument over something completely stupid and your father, having been drunk, yelled at you to gather all of your things and get out of his house because he never wanted to see you again, claiming you reminded him too much of the wife that left him.

You had initially called your mother, asking her if she could help you in any way. She, of course, refused to do so, claiming that she was busy and didn't have time for this.

The only other person you could of calling was Rafe, your boyfriend.

You and Rafe had been together for nearly 3 years now, so he knew all of your family problems and did his best to help you through them.

Due to the fact that you knew he also had problems at home, you tried as best as possible to not burden him any longer.

However, this was one of those moments when you just needed him.

Taking out your phone, you quickly dialed his number, him answering after the first 2 rings.

"Hey baby, what's up?" hearing his sweet voice nearly made you cry on the spot.

"Can I sleep at your house tonight? I had a fight with my father and I just don't want to be home right now" you knew lying was bad, especially to Rafe, but you didn't want to tell him the news over the phone in fear that he would come and fight your father.

It was the last thing any of you needed.

"Yes, sure. Do you want me to pick you up? It's pretty late and I don't want you walking alone in the night" his concern only made your heart flutter, realizing just how lucky you were to have someone like him by your side.

"No, it's okay. I'll take my car. I'll see you in a bit. I love you"

"I love you too" you waited for him to say before you hung up, the tears now freely running down your cheeks.

The drive to the Cameron estate was fairly quick, seeing as you didn't like that far away from them. 

The lights were on in Rafe's room by the time you entered and he was laying on the bed, watching some movie on his TV.

"Hey babe- woah, what happened to you?" his gaze immediately turned concerned once he saw that your cheeks were coated with fresh tears and you had a huge suitcase behind you.

You didn't say anything before running into his outstretched arms, savoring the warmth radiating from his body.

You cried and sobbed until you had no more tears left, Rafe cradling your head in his hands, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and rubbing his hands up and down your sides and your back in a soothing manner.

Once you had finally calmed down, you pulled away from his chest but kept your arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He smiled at you and reached up to wipe the tears from your cheeks, giving you a kiss on both of them.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" his voice was soft, almost as if he feared that he would scare you away if he was any louder than that.

"Um, he, uh, he kicked me out" you mumbled, sensing the way his muscles tensed up under your touch.

"What?" he asked through gritted teeth, trying to remain calm because he didn't want to overwhelm you even more.

"We had a pretty bad argument and he was really drunk, so all of a sudden he just started yelling at me and told me to pack my things and get out and never come back. I called my mom to ask her for help but she said she was busy and she didn't have time for me and then I needed you so that's why I called" you started rambling, your breaths getting quicker and more raggedy with each word you spoke.

"Hey, hey, sh. It's okay, you're here with me and you're safe. Take some deep breaths for me, baby" he spoke as he held your face in his hands and helped you get your breathing back to normal, keeping eye contact with you the entire time.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but do you mind if I stay here for a couple of days until I figure things out? I really don't have anywhere else to go" your voice was timid, you really didn't to overstep even though you knew both his family and he loved having you around the house.

"Of course you can stay here. You're going to be living with me permanently from now on, that's final. I was planning on suggesting moving in together soon anyway, this is just an opportunity for it happen right now" he stroked your cheek with his thumb, smiling before leaning to plant a kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you so much, baby" you whispered, savoring the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead.

"Do you have all of your things with you?" he asked while looking at the suitcase you had brought with you, a suitcase which seemed way too small to convey all of your belongings.

"No, I just grabbed the essential, everything else is still back home. Do you mind coming with me tomorrow to take everything? I really don't want to go back there alone"

"Of course I'll come, don't even question that. For now, let's just get you in bed so you can get some sleep and make you feel better.

You nodded and followed his suit, falling asleep quickly in the arms of your boyfriend.

When the next day came, you figured you would go over there in the morning to avoid your father being awake, knowing how long it takes him to recover from hangovers.

Everything was going smoothly, you had packed every last possession of yours and had almost finished bringing everything to Rafe's car when your father decided to rise from the dead.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted after you, making you free.

You slowly turned around, watching him standing in the doorway of the entrance door with a beer bottle in his hand.

Rafe was watching you closely, choosing to let you handle the situation by yourself. You could feel your blood boiling and the anger surging through your entire body.

"I'm doing exactly what you told me to. I'm taking my shit and moving out, just like you asked last night" you said, glaring at him.

"And where are you gonna go, huh? Back to this bitch's mansion? You know you're not worthy of him or anything else, you're gonna be crawling back here soon enough" your father laughed while saying, taking a swig out of his bottle.

"I am sick of being your punching bag. I have put up with your insults and punches and everything since mom left but I can't fucking stand you anymore. Just because you're an excuse of a man and mom got so sick of you she couldn't even stand being around you doesn't mean you get to take it all out on me. I'm sick of your shit and I won't take it anymore" you yelled, tears flowing down your cheeks.

Your father was just staring at you, his brain not being able to comprehend what just happened.

Sensing it would be best if you left, Rafe came up behind you and wrapped one of his arms around your waist, slowly dragging you back towards the passenger seat of his car.

“Come on princess, let’s just go” he whispered as he was helping you climb into his truck, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before he shut the door and started jogging to the driver’s side.

You kept your gaze on your father the entire time before Rafe departed from your house, your gaze icy and piercing as never before.

“I can’t believe I just did that” you said quietly once Rafe had parked his car in front of your new home.

“I’m so proud of you for standing up to him like that, sweetheart. I love you so much” he leaned over the console and took your chin in his hand, giving you a meaningful kiss full of love.

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Black sheep| Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

Summary: You had always felt rejected by your family's paternal side, but you managed to overcome it. However, one match could unleash a plethora of problems.

Warnings: English is not my first language and mention physical and psychological abuse by a paternal figure.

Little by little, at just twenty years old, you had managed to overcome all the obstacles that came your way. It wasn't easy, but with the support of your close circle of friends, you achieved it.

Childhood memories are hazy for you, often questioning if the few you hold truly belong to you or if they are just vague impressions shared when strangers inquire about your early years.

There were beautiful moments in childhood, especially when your father wasn't home. You remember singing summer songs loudly with your mother, her gentle hands combing through your hair as she deftly wove small braids secured with light blue hair ties—a tangible link to carefree, joyful days.

You loved school immensely. Every class fascinated you: from reading fairy tales to dancing at end-of-year parties, practicing carols for Christmas galas, and most of all, playing with classmates during recess. Whether it was tag, British Bulldog, or imitating singers from The Voice Kids, those moments overflowed with happiness.

But these memories darkened when you thought of your father. Despite living in Spain, he enforced a "French" education on you from a young age. He insisted on speaking only Spanish with your mother, and if he caught you playing alone and using a Spanish word instead of French, he would shout and intimidate you. "It's not 'muñeca', it's 'poupée'," he would sternly correct. Those echoes of shouts tainted the joyful memories with shadows of fear and strictness.

Luckily, on your eleventh birthday, your mother gave you the incredible gift of promising to divorce your father. It wasn't an easy decision for either of you. Firstly, because your mother had endured years of severe abuse, beginning with psychological mistreatment that later turned physical. Secondly, because your father was the main provider for the family, which often meant tightening belts to find moments of happiness. Despite the hardships, that promise marked the beginning of a new chapter—one where you started to find the peace and freedom you desperately needed.

With immense effort and dedication, you managed to open a small restaurant that became your family's main source of income. Once things stabilized, your mother finally fulfilled her dream: creating an association to support women who, like her, were trapped in abusive situations and couldn't escape due to fear or difficulties. The association provided shelter, money, clothing, and food to any woman, along with her children or pets, facing such circumstances.

Reflecting on it now, you couldn't be prouder of your mother. Not only for her incredible strength and resilience but also because she always supported your dreams. She became a beacon of hope and resilience for many other women. Her courage and dedication not only changed your lives but also touched and transformed many others.

After successfully completing your education despite the challenges, you faced a new wave of anxiety upon receiving a job offer as a physiotherapist for the French national football team. With an outstanding academic record and recognition from your professors as an exemplary student, evidenced by the honor roll distinction you received, you never imagined an international opportunity would come your way.

The issue wasn't the opportunity itself but the fear of working with international stars and, above all, with a prestigious team of physiotherapists. However, your primary concern was moving to France.

You hadn't set foot in that country since your father left to reunite with his relatives, who felt somewhat ashamed of him for not being able to "tame his lady." Just hearing that language again gave you goosebumps, and every attempt to speak French seemed to trigger a mental block.

But, as a beloved phrase reminds you, "If fear occupies your head, it leaves no room for your dreams." So, with a half-empty suitcase ready to be filled with memories and stories to share upon returning to Spain, you courageously departed for France in 2020. Since then, you've hardly ventured out of the country.

The enchanting French cities captivated you, and despite a few challenging encounters, you handled them with grace and chose to extend your stay. Not to mention, the team of physiotherapists was highly impressed with your work.

You still vividly remember your first day with the players. Nerves had you meticulously arranging bandages and creams, striving for a professionalism that mirrored your dedication. A soft knock on the door startled you, expecting someone at a distance, only to find a young, robust man on the other side.

Young Mbappé wasted no time in coming to your aid, concern evident in his eyes as he asked if you were alright. Despite the initial awkwardness, the session proceeded smoothly. Kylian took the opportunity to inquire about you throughout, his curiosity revealing a growing rapport. By the session's end, the young Frenchman boldly asked for your number and recommended you as his preferred physiotherapist to the trainers, advocating for all future appointments to be with you.

As the French training camp concluded, a deep friendship tinged with burgeoning affection had blossomed between you both, culminating in several dates that emboldened you to begin a relationship that proved profoundly positive for you both.

Over time, you gradually opened up more to Kylian. While he couldn't fathom or justify the challenges your father had imposed on your mother and you, he was resolute in not letting you slip away, grateful for the fortune of meeting you.

Following intense matches filled with surprises, including Kylian breaking his nose in one, France advanced to the semifinals. Despite being French, he understood and respected your steadfast support for Spain, a country synonymous with peace and security for you. Despite France treating you kindly in recent years, your bond with Spain remained unshakeable. And while you supported Spain nationally, Kylian knew he held a special place in your heart as your favorite player.

After a long and disappointing match where France fell short against Spain, conceding victory with two goals, Kylian felt the sting of defeat. Anticipating an uncomfortable press conference probing Rabiot's reaction and Lamine's triumph, his true yearning was to find solace in your arms, the sanctuary he sought since your first embrace.

Exiting the press conference, he swiftly made his way to the locker room for a cold shower and to swap into the national team jersey. Anxious to receive one of your comforting massages, he hastened towards you. Yet upon arrival, his surprise mounted upon seeing you visibly distressed while listening to an unfamiliar older man.

His astonishment grew as he approached and heard the hurtful words of your uncle: "Even twenty years from now, you will always be a disappointment. I wonder if you've struck a deal with your boyfriend to win a bet and some money. You're a small rat who will never rise socially. My brother made a grave mistake marrying your mother."

Before you could respond, you felt his strong arms around your waist, shielding you. Kylian intervened calmly yet firmly: "Excuse me, if you don't stop speaking like that, I'll be forced to call security. I won't allow you to belittle my girlfriend or her family. If you continue, all of France will know how you treat women, and your family business will suffer."

Taken aback by Kylian's response and swift action, your uncle chose to leave the stadium. Touched deeply by Kylian's display of love and protection, tears streamed down your face as you embraced him and whispered, "Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do without you, my king."

From the moment he met you, Kylian had made a vow to himself: he wouldn't let your family inflict pain on you again.

[greattigerssimp]

Maybe childhood hc of the boxers (idk if this a weird req )??

It's not weird at all! Childhood hc's coming up + you can find more about their origins in my AU :>

Glass Joe 🇫🇷🥐

- Lived with his mom, dad, and his uncle, Gabriel (aka Gabby Jay). All his guardians all worked for very long hours (since living in Paris is pricey)

- His mom (Celine) and dad (Dion) were barely in his life because of it; Gabby was his primary caretaker

- Gabby was basically his best friend since he didn't have a lot as a child

- Has had asthma his whole life and was never ever good at sports or PE. (Bro does not smoke in this AU lmao)

- He's actually very smart! Loved writing and math, and is one of the few boxers that was able to go to college

- Some of his best childhood memories are with Gabby, whether it be going to see a play with him, or learning how to bake with him... they were insanely close.

- Went through a small emo phase when he was 13. He's still very embarrassed about it to this day.

Von Kaiser🇩🇪🔩

- Grew up in two different homes... for least part, he grew up with his ultra caring, ultra sweet single mom (named Emilia)... or for the most part, he grew up with his ultra strict, bigoted, and cruel grandparents (Agnes and Leopold)

- His grandparents are where his adulthood trauma stems from. They were horrible... as early as 6 years old, Kaiser was forced to cook, clean, have his bed made at 5 in the morning before school... that sorta thing.

- They punished hard, too. Name any outdated or cruel punishment towards a child, and they've probably done it. Screaming at him, breaking toys, locking him in the attic... and, of course, physical violence. Belt or hand, take your pick.

- Kaiser actually has a small premenant burn on his bottom left hip. It was when Agnes burned him with a hot pan as a kid... if anyone asks about it, he'll lie and quickly tell you it's a birthmark.

- Growing up with them, especially with his grandfather, he was taught to always bottle his feelings. This led him to being very social distant, both in school and when he eventually enrolled in technician school.

- His mom was pretty cool, though. She was an engineer (later an amputee, long after Kaiser moved out of Germany) and did her best to provide for her and her son. Because she had no other relatives and she didn't want Kaiser staying home alone every day (her job is very time demanding), she had to send him to live with his grandparents often.

- If his grandparents were alive today, they'd def be tweaking tf about Kaiser getting with not only a man but a French man.

Disco Kid 🇺🇲🕺

- Omg a childhood that isn't completely sad???

- Lived a comfortable, upper middle class with his mom (Zuri), his radio host dad (Kenneth), and his little sister, April.

- Naturally a very active child! He's been in and out of multiple sports, but dancing was by far his favorite.

- Also very close to his mom and adopted her love for disco and the 80s in general. They boxercise regularly together, and sometimes April will join them

- Certified prom king expert! The dude has completely owned every single school dance he's been to. This made him a popular kid with plenty of friends growing up.

King Hippo 🏝🦛

- Not much to say! Hippo was born an adult. He was a full-blown adult hippo before getting mutated into a human-hippo being. (See my AU for details)

- Has very few memories of his time on Hippo island... he just knows he was the leader of them, though.

Piston Hondo: 🇯🇵🥊

- Lived with his mom (Michi), his dad (Ryu), and his twin sisters, Aki and Aiko.

- Always busy. If he's not at school, he's most likely working at the family restaurant, called "Heart of the Hondo's, as a cook.

- Parents were strict but not outwardly abusive. They raised him right! Taught him responsibility, respect, discipline... everything that he is today.

- Aki and Aiko are little Aran Ryan level menace's... Hondo had to take care of them and make sure they never got into any trouble most days.

- Childhood friends with Heike Kagero ever since grade school.

- Very quiet, non-social kid, and mainly hung out with Heike. If he's not working or at school, he'd spend his time watching anime (mainly Sailor Moon) or reading manga. His sisters loooved teasing him about his love for Sailor Moon...

Overall, pretty good childhood! He has a lot of nostalgia for his childhood, too.

Bear Hugger 🇨🇦🐻

- Didn't have a very great relationship with his folks... at least not until his teen years, that is.

- His father (Caleb) was a big name hunter, and his mother (Elanor) specialized in taxidermy.

- They lived in a rural community in Salmon Arm, Canada.

- They weren't really mean or horrible people, but they didn't know Bear didn't agree with their actions... mainly because Bear never confronted them. At all.

- Got very rebellious as a teen and ran away from his folks one night with his squirrel, Spruce. To this day, his parents seriously think he got kidnapped or something, and nowadays, they actually have no idea Bear is a boxer now.

- Spent his whole childhood with Spruce and other animals. Ever since he was 4 years old, animals just had a natural gravitation towards him.

- Never saw his grieving parents again.

Great Tiger 🇮🇳🐯

- Legit doesn't remember his childhood well.

- He imagines it was pretty mundane and routinely.

- Thinks he had a childhood pet...? He could be wrong, though.

Don Flamenco 🇪🇸🥀

- Lived in a middle class home with his mom (Lucia) and his dad (Juan)

- His mom was VERY dotting and protective... girl would throw a shoe at you if you accidentally looked at her son the wrong way. She bragged about him a lot too. Girl definitely wore the pants in her relationship.

- Ofc, even if Don's mother was clingy and protective of her "sweet baby angel" son, it didn't stop a certain blonde tourists parents from convincing her to let Don leave Spain...

- In terms of childhood, Don was a very popular kid for how social he was. He wasn't a particularly behaved student though.

- Definitely became a jock in his team years, sporting a large male friend group.

- Loved by his community, especially after his dad introduced him to the matador business at a young age.

- Smaller hc here, but was definitely on a swim team. Idk, I feel like that'd be a thing.

- Even smaller hc; Lucia is actually Latina (from Columbia), and his dad is a native Spaniard. This makes Don mixed race, technically :3

Aran Ryan 🇮🇪😈

- Lived in the outskirts of Dublin with his father (Oscar), his 6 younger siblings, including the one was closest to the most, a year younger sister named Brooke.

- Grew up on a small sheep farm, with lots of responsibilities, similar to Hondo. He looked after his siblings, his siblings did farm work, and his father fed them that night. That's how it worked.

- Was homeschooled

- Fought with Brooke a lot, except he was always the instigator. Brooke was a sharp contrast to his personality, being an intellectual and a stickler for rules and safety.

- On again off again relationship with his dad. Some days and nights were awesome, but some nights and days were awful...

- His dad was a hard punisher, and he wasn't afraid to spank or use the belt. He also definitely played favorites with all of the siblings.

- Rowdy sibling, and got into trouble the most. Either that or his dad couldn't handle his adhd.

- Runs away during hard fights, either to a local pub or into a sheep pen

- Had this small childhood toy, a stuffed lamb he named "lucky," that he sleeps with every night... and to this day!

Soda Popinski 🇷🇺🍾

- Grew up in a small, low-income community with his mom (Petra), his hard working dad (Grigory), and his short older sister named Svetlana.

- Absolutely adored child. Basically friends with all his neighbors, and was known as this gentle, soft-spoken giant.

- Naturally very tall kid

- Him and Svetlana were nearly always on the same wavelength, it was almost scary at times. They were basically besties

- Worked as a box carrier alongside school

- Parents are humoursly short compared to him. Funnier because they're very sweet and supportive of him, but not to an overbearing extent

Bald Bull 🇹🇷🐂

- Social shut in + anger issues

- His autism made it hard to understand other kids, so he didn't have a lot of friends

- Can't remember his parents well

- Nothing too notable here

Super Macho Man 🇺🇸🌊

- Very rich actors' parents (Sophia and Lucas) that weren't really parents. They were more like acting agents for young Macho Man.

- Didn't do well at school, and was often taken out so he could focus on his inevitable acting career

- Looks SO different from how he did as a kid... as a kid, he was a tiny blonde boy with a cute smile and rosey dimples. A far cry from how Macho Man looks now...

- Loved the beach, but his parents never brought him there much. He'd sneak off with friends often to be at the beach. Loved swimming, surfing and the ocean.

- His parents dropped all contact with him once reports of him being a spoiled, terrible actor to work with made public. They didn't wanna take credit for the kid they raised lol

- Loved action movies as a kid, had a ton of merchandise

Mr. Sandman 🟢🥊

- First of all, dude will never spill the beans about his childhood if you ask.

- Had absolutely incredible parents that he loved a lot. He lived with his kindhearted, if shy mother (Destiny) and his strong, wise father (Miles).

- Loved boxing ever since he was a boy... his childhood room was adorable, adorned with posters, action figures, and even trading cards.

- Strong, sporty kid who participated in multiple little leagues. He laughed and smiled way more during fights as a kid...

- Moved to NY when he was a teen to get recognized... Mr. Dream picked him up for training and stardom.

- Saw his parents less and less the more he worked with Mr. Dream... but Mr. Dream needed full control over him for true greatness.

- His childhood officially ended when his parents never came home from work one day because Mr. Dream had them murdered...

If anyone wants childhood hc for any particular boxer not mentioned, please comment them!~