#especially since the same narration tells us she in fact did not go soft on him lmao

[mxtxfanatic]

As much as I like the donghua for it's animation, there r some parts of it that just make me go ????

I'm talking about the scene where wen qing cleans up wei wuxian's wounds after the fall of lotus pier (aww some wen qing and wwx moments 😀), and then she legit just says, "ngl mdm yu didn't hit you that hard, she must have cared about u" ( something like that, I can't rmb it's been a while) and I'm like 🙃🫠💀💀💀☠️☠️☠️?!?!?!

Why?? Just why?? I read the novel before, and I rmb very clearly that she did not hold back, wwx literally was on the floor not moving after she was finished. Like what were the people making the donghua doing?

Also on a side note, imagine how painful it was for wwx when he was tied back to back with jc, and jc is just literally squirming and rubbing against his wounds like cmon man, have some sympathy, u watched that happen. And then wwx literally swam with a bloody back and then got strangled and yelled on by jc.

My boi wwx got done so dirty TwT

Yeah idk wtf the donghua was on tryna whitewash Madam Yu’s novel-canon actions and personality. As far as I can remember, Wen Qing never checks Wei Wuxian’s wounds after he was whipped, because she was too busy tryna distract the other Wen cultivators in the supervisory office from discovering Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s presence since someone was awake laughing and shouting like he wanted to get them all killed. The only commentary we get on his wounds are 1) that they did still hurt while Jiang Cheng was struggling against them as they were tied together, so much so that he had to “speak through the pain” of his wounds, and 2) despite hurting, “it didn’t affect his ability to move too much” (all from Chapt. 58: Poisons, exr).

From the fact that we get the flashbacks about how powerful Wei Wuxian was in the past right after we discover alongside him that his core was powerful enough to seal his sword (something that is said to need at least 80 years of cultivating to do), I’d always assumed that Wei Wuxian was able to still function after such a harsh whipping because, unbeknownst to him, his core had reached a new level of powerful post-xuanwu of slaughter and was actively healing him at a rate he didn’t have the time or space to notice.

[maboroshi-no]

Hamefura LN11 Moments: AlanxKatarina

While reading Hamefura Light Novel Volume 11, I wrote some summary / quick translations of some moments.

Here is the AlanxKatarina moment in the book.

Context:

Katarina had met the King the day before. She told Geordo and Alan she doesn’t think of them differently even after hearing what their relatives did

Katarina has decided to study love so that she can face her feelings, Geordo’s and Keith’s

Katarina is now more proactive regarding the measures against her doom

Katarina has decided to go to the castle’s library during her day off, hoping she will find another memo containing hints regarding FL2 in a book

Katarina’s POV

Katarina meets Alan at the library. 

Katarina: "Ah, Prince Alan!"

Alan: "Oh, it's you, Katarina. So you came to the castle today, huh. What did you come for?"

Katarina: "I am off from work today, so I have come to the library to do some research."

Alan: "You've come to the library during your day off to do some research? You?!"

Alan is making a mocking face.

Katarina: "How rude, Prince Alan! Even I can come during a day off to do some research (starting today)!

Katarina pouts, inflating her cheeks. Alan is not making a mocking face anymore.

Alan: "Oh well, do your best and try not to fall asleep, okay?"

Katarina is thinking to herself that Alan may look like a grown adult, but inside he's still the same as when they were kids. 

Katarina: "Mean Bossy Brat."

Katarina mutters to herself. Alan heard her.

Alan: "What did you say?"

Katarina: "It's not like it was hard to understand."

Alan: "You were insulting me, weren't you?"

Katarina: "If you know, then don't ask!"

Alan: "What's with you, stupid duke's daughter?"

Katarina: "And now you're insulting me?"

Alan: "Weren't you the one who started it?"

Katarina: "YOU started it by making fun of me!"

Alan: "I was just telling the truth!"

Katarina: "What did you say?"

They argue back and forth for a while and then Alan bursts out laughing.

Katarina : "?"

Katarina is blank.

Alan: "No, it's just that it has been a while since we had that kind of exchange, so I thought it was funny."

Hearing Alan say this with an innocent smile, Katarina was taken aback and thought it was indeed funny, and then laughed with Alan.

Katarina: "That's right. When we were little, we would often butt heads like this."

Alan: "Ah~ Yeah, kinda. For all kinds of things."

//TN: starting here, I switched the narration to Katarina’s POV

Alan looked embarrassed saying this. At first, when I met him, Alan had a strong inferiority complex towards Geordo, and was stormy. He has completely calmed now. This fight just now feels so nostalgic. As I was remembering the past,

Alan: "I am sorry for all I did in the past. Butting heads with you for whatever.". 

He said.

Katarina: "Eh?! After all this time?!"

I opened my eyes wide from getting apologies more than 10 years later. 

Alan: "Yeah, it is late but it's just that I remembered I never apologized, that's all."

He said this, looking embarrassed, and continued with

Alan: "I am sorry, and thank you."

As I got confused again from being thanked this time, he laughed at me again and I couldn't ask him why. Alan is laughing a lot today. Ah, that's right. I guess I'll ask Alan. 

Katarina: "Prince Alan, do you know about love?"

Sora told me that even if I asked people about love, I won't fall in love myself, but... If I ask various kinds of things, maybe when I have this kind of feeling I'll be able to realize it more quickly. So there isn't anything to lose. However, Alan and Mary are only engaged for political reasons and they don't give off a lovey-dovey air. Besides, Alan is especially childish so even if I ask, I don't think he would know. He is probably like me, a fellow member of the "I don't know what love is" club, but

Alan: "Wh- What are you saying suddenly?"

Alan was bright red and shaking.

Katarina: "Eh?! No way! You know?!" 

I raised my voice in surprise as I thought he would say "I don't really know". While I saw them as a boss and her underling, there was love developing between the two of them.

Alan: "What do you mean 'No way?!'? I have been an adult for several years already... So of course I would know that much..."

Alan said with a red face.

Alan: "What about you? Do you?"

He asked me in return. 

Katarina: "Eh, Me?! Well.. I..."

If I told him I didn't, he would probably make fun of me, and since I couldn't reply right away...

Alan: "I bet a kid like you wouldn't, right?"

I knew he would make fun of me. I got so upset I felt like matching his words.

Katarina: "Of course I know that much."

I replied in a somewhat pretentious way. As I did, Alan's eyes grew wide, and

Alan: "...So you do, huh? And who is the one you love?"

Alan had an unusually serious face.

Katarina: "Eh?! Well, he is..."

I didn't think that far, and since I couldn't answer...

Alan: "Could it be Geordo? So in the end, you..."

Because Alan continued the conversation with a serious tone, I couldn't keep up with it, so I immediately threw away my pretense. 

Katarina: "I'm sorry. I lied when I said I knew. I was just putting on airs. Actually, I don't know anything about it."

As I replied honestly, Alan felt somewhat relieved. Eh? Could it be that Alan was also putting on airs when he said he knew? As I thought, could he be a fellow member of the "I don't know what love is" club? 

Alan: "Oh, I see! So you still don't know!"

As he said this, Alan vigorously ruffled my hair. It feels like I am being treated like a kid.

Alan: "Oh well, I guess you wouldn't. Makes sense."

Alan is nodding to himself. It feels like he is making fun of me again. And he also looks extremely happy for some reason. I thought I would ask him if he really is a fellow member of the "I don't know what love is" club, but Alan who was now in high spirits said

Alan: "Well then, I have some official business to attend, so I'll see you later. Good luck with your studies at the library!"

As he said, he stroked my head again before going off happily. Jeez, it's not studying, it's research. In the end, I couldn't hear from Alan anything useful about love. 

Alan's POV:

I, Alan Stuart, am on my way to attend an official business, in a very good mood. Earlier, my mood sank to the very depth for a moment, but after I realized it was a misunderstanding, my mood then reached new heights. Just thinking I could see her 2 days in a row makes me happy. Yesterday, when I heard from Father that he would talk to Katarina and Maria about the unsightly past of the royal family, I felt dizzy. It's because I felt anxious thinking that after hearing the story, Katarina might look at us with eyes full of contempt. The time during which Father was talking to them felt incredibly long and just imagining Katarina telling us "I don't want to see you ever again" was the worst feeling ever. But when we asked her directly she told us while staring right into our eyes "The royals who took part in this struggle are different people to begin with. My opinion of the two of you cannot possibly change after hearing this story. Besides I know very well each of your personalities.". Looking at her dignified appearance, I fell for her all over again. However, when I looked at my side, Geordo was looking at her so lovingly. I averted my eyes right away. That's right. Katarina is Geordo's fiancée. And afterwards, when I saw her being escorted by Geordo, I suppressed my feelings somehow. Why did I have to fall for my older brother's fiancée, a woman I absolutely must never fall for? And when I think of looking elsewhere, there is no other woman like Katarina, and as a result I can't stop my feelings for her. Mary, my fiancée who, like me, has fallen for someone who won't return her feelings told me "Even so, I can't simply give up". But I can't do the same. Geordo and Katarina will get married eventually. I know I have to give up. But it's just that, while it is a well-known fact that Geordo loves Katarina, I know that Katarina herself does not have such feelings for him. No matter how much time passes, childish Katarina won't have such feelings. So just like that, I have been feeling at ease. So when Katarina asked me "Do you have someone you love?", I ended up shaking fiercely. But then, when I realized my misunderstanding, learning that Katarina was actually still not in love, I felt incredibly happy. I know someday I will have no choice but to give up. But I can't help wishing I could stay like this just a little longer. I kissed the hand where the sensation of her soft hair remained, and continued on my way with light steps. 

[ackermanshoe]

March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh

Que the longest title everr 😌✨

So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.

In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.

So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩

Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.

So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".

Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.

Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).

That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.

Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.

The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.

Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.

Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.

So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?

What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?

"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?

Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?

Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol

Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.

Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.

Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.

Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉

💜💜💜

[creatingnikki]

Start Up

This was the first k-drama where I legit thought that the 2nd male lead was actually the first male lead until half-way through the show. While I do really like Nam Do-San’s character, I think  Han Ji-Pyeong made me feel WAY more. Especially in terms of the romantic chemistry. 

In the beginning, I was so satisfied with the show. But then I think somewhere around the 12th or 13th episode I started to get bored and disappointed. I think that’s mainly because halmeoni suddenly became a side side character and even Ji-Pyeong didn’t have as much screen time. I also feel like there were some sub-plots that were highly unnecessary because they weren’t fleshed out well and felt disconnected like the friend’s brother who died and he wanted revenge, the whole Alex California 3 year time-jump thing. Like that really slowed down the show and made me go ???  The finale however redeemed the show for me!

There were solid side characters in this k-drama, something I generally appreciate about k-dramas as a whole. The character development was also solid and sweet. I think the one that most touched me was Seo/Won In-Jae’s character development. 

I found more depth in her character than even Seo Dal Mi’s. I loved how she changed her name and then visited her grandmother because she just couldn’t do that before it. I get it. I really do. I think we all take our time to do the things we should/want to and that’s completely okay.

Which brings me to the point that Seo Dal Mi, especially towards the second half, felt like a very basic character. I think she was perhaps the only one who didn’t have much development. I honestly didn’t even find her and Nam Do San’s romance to be great or swoon-worthy. 

The most touching connection for me in this kdrama was  Han Ji-Pyeong and halmeoni’s. Like OH MY GOD. Whether it was when he was a child or even as an adult, their scenes made me cry.

 It was the most wholesome, sincere relationship in the entire show! Whether it was her taking him in and thinking he would rob her money in the shop or him thinking that she gave away his investment profits to her son - and both of them being wrong. The scene at the bus station where she gives him a new pair of shoes and tells him only to contact him when he is upset/alone/ill. 

The fact that she calls him good boy. Ahhhhhh. EVERY bit of it. Like even in the finale when she goes to his house and breaks down when she recognises he is sad + lonely I couldn’t stop my tears!!!!! It’s like he can be his true self with halmeoni.

And can I just ramble on about Ji-Pyeong? Firstly his dimples. I can’t deal. 

Secondly his acting. Thirdly his dialogue and his character arc. The way he was so smart in investing and work. The way he could give real feedback and the way he could be honest with Nam Do-San at the end. Aso the fact that he asked him to stop feeling inferior - ahhhhh. Someone really needed to tell Do-San to feel confident and enough and the fact that Ji-Pyeong did that meanth EVERYTHING. Everything about Ji-Pyeong had my heart! His conversations with Yeong-Shila and his drunk moments. And everything in between. I am really heartbroken that he ended up alone. To be honest, by the end of it I really wanted him to end up with In-Jae. I think they as a couple would surprise all of us. 

I know this may be a controversial opinion but both In-Jae and Ji-Pyeong were such strong characters and I feel like they would have easily overpowered the actual first leads (individually and together) if some more attention was paid to them. Which is probably why it wasn’t? But I feel like had the writers of the show leaned more into these two characters. They were smart, mature, emotionally more complex and that’s probably one of my major disappointments with Start-Up. 

But anyhooo, I really appreciated that the last scene was Nam Do-San and Seo Dal-Mi walking to their investor meeting and not their wedding scene. Because yaaaas power couple! I also love how her being the CEO didn’t make Do-San feel inferior or have some sexist ego complex. 

Talking about other side characters I really appreciated Seo Dal Mi’s mom’s redemption. It warmed my heart. I loved how Nam DO San’s father at the end put up the Samsan Tech sign board in the living room and said that the next time he thinks his son is doing something he doesn’t approve of he will look at it 3 times and wait it out/support him? Jung Sa-Ha and Lee Chul-San’s romance appealed to me a lot more than the leads’ romance - no kidding. 

Some of my FAVOURITE scenes were between Nam Do-San and Ji-Pyeong. Like in one of the first few episodes when they are at that conference/party where Nam Do-San shows up as a hot-shot entrepreneur for Dal-Mi and then the two guys move aside to show that they are talking and know each other and Do-San is like what do we talk about? ANd Ji-Pyeong is like let’s just recite the national anthem! I DIED. And then at the end when he invests in Cheonymyeong and they shake hands, how initially Ji-Pyeong only shakes with his two fingers. They both individually and together were beautiful. 

Also can I just say how cool I found the founder and CEO of sandbox just struck me as the COOLEST woman? She’s the kind of person I’d want as my mentor and friend if I was starting a business. And Dal Mi-s father’s backstory is just so very s ad with him finally getting an investment but also like dying the very same day. Sandbox really feels in some way his legacy? 

And I also low-key found the relation between Ji-Pyeong and park Dong-Chun endearing. Like ho Dong-Chun aways recommends all these lovely start ups that aren’t really profitable but he just cannot resist it! And how Ji-Pyeong finally personally invests in the start up for kids who leave orphanages at 18 in the end :’) I was waiting for him to finally personally invest in something like this because he’s rich and he can and I loved it. More than the investing, his meeting with the CEO of that start up was funny and how he wasn’t harsh towards him and how also said he wants a few kids that he can mentor! My heart!

Nam Do-San. I love how he had SO many insecurities because I have always associated that with the female leads whether in kdramas or just generally in the world of fiction. And the fact that he didn’t have any toxic or abusive outlets for his issues is what made me adore him. The friendship between him and his two developer friends was also very heartwarming.

I did really like the business and entrepreneurship aspect of the show like how thye tried to include concepts like the J curve and why you should be a majority shareholder in your own business and what investors look for and stuff. Ofc I would have LOVED it to be more heavy on that aspect but I get that for the general viewership that probably wouldn’t have worked. 

One of the most striking things about Start Up was the relationship between the two sisters. I can’t tell you how much I was digging the fact that neither of them, especially Won In-Jae (at the time) tried to backstab or fuck things up for the other. Even though they had been away for a decade and clearly had made opposite choices in picking their parents and hence a lot of their life, they didn’t once sabotage the other. In fact, they were always concerned about the other when it really came down to it. And them reuniting and working together was a highlight for me. 

This is one of the few kdramas that got the finale done so beautifully. But since Ji-Pyeong’s 2020 life wasn’t really shown to us this is how I’m narrating it in my head. He and In-Jae get together and are this smart power-couple who can open up with each other and be soft and adorable. He also has formed meaningful connections with two kids who left the orphanage and their connection is as wholesome as his and halmeoni's. He and In-Jae live  together in his apartment facing Han River and keep cutely arguing over start up ideas and companies to invest in. Now any time he looks at Seo Dal Mi and Do San he feels friendly affection and this sort of protective vibe. He found some super eye specialist and got halmeoni's eye sight fixed. Her corn dog shop became a huge franchise cos plot twist In Jae and Dal Mi's mother is actually v strategic in business growth.

[fafulous]

Take Me Home (3/5)

Andy Barber x Reader (Post!Defending Jacob)

Summary: After the unfortunate events of the trial and after, a depressed Andy Barber decides to call it quits and start a mundane life far away from Newton. He decides it is best to have a fresh start away from prying eyes and alone, but he never thought his caring neighbor (and her son) would change all of that.

Themes: MAJOR D.J. SPOILERS ((The series is following the BOOK ENDING and not Show)), Sad and soft Andy Barber, Single Mother Reader. Cursing.

A/N: Thank you all for reading this! I’m really not so good at nsfw stuff. Bear with me xD

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: NSFW lil smutty.

–

Andrew Stephen Barber is a good man.

He not only asks you out for a date, but also asks your son’s permission to take you out on a date.

But before that you had a conversation with your little one while he was playing with his toys. “Hey Niko, can mommy talk to you?”

Niko fiddled with his toys, whispering to them that he needs to talk to his mother dearest.

“What is it mommy?”

You lifted him and placed him on your lap, kissing his forehead. “Mommy needs to tell you something, and you need to tell me if you’re okay with it.”

“Owkay,” he buries his face in your chest.

“Peaches, will you be okay if I hang out with Andy more than he normally does?”

“But you fwiends with Wandi.”

“Yeah Peaches I know,” you hesitated for you didn’t know if it was wise to have such a delicate conversation with this little brain you love so much, “But I think mommy like Andy more than a friend now.”

“Woh like pwincess and pwince?” he asked you, his face brightening.

You hugged him tighter laughing at his comparison, “Yeah peaches. Like them.”

“But what about papa?”

It was hard to explain, even though Niko knew his mother and father aren’t together. You patiently explained him, pausing in between whenever he didn’t understand.

“…Papa hit me peaches. Papa doesn’t like me, but papa loves you okay, you must know that. You still have to visit papa okay?”

He began to cry again and hugged into your shoulders, realising that the whole ‘papa hitting momma’ triggered his memories that he never liked in the first place, “Me don’t like papa! P-papa hit you! Papa give you booboo in your face mommy!”

“Hey buddy don’t cry.”

Your head turned to Andy; glad he made a visit at the right time. He quickly whispered that the door was unlocked, and he took Nikolai from your grasp. “I got this momma bear,” he whispered.

He snuggled and cuddled Nikolai just to calm him down, walking up and down the house. He didn’t bother about the fact that the child’s tears and snots were staining his blue shirt.

“Hey buddy. Don’t cry what happened?”

“Papa hit mommy. Papa hit mommy-”

Andy cradled him now, trying to distract him with his soothing voice. “Your papa isn’t here buddy. No one’s going to hurt mommy okay? I promise I won’t let anything happen to mommy okay?”

“Y-you won’t h-hit m-mommy Wandi?”

Andy froze for a little bit, wondering where this was coming from, but then you popped in with a teary eye gently telling him that they had a conversation about you asking him out.

“Of course, not buddy. I will never hit Mommy, it’s a promise. I like your mommy okay buddy?”

“Yeah, Mommy say she likes you too.”

“Will you be okay if I’m with mommy?” He asked the little baby, wiping his tears with his hands.

“You pinkie pwomise you won’t hit her?”

“Pinkie Pwomise.”

“Then wowkay.”

A few more minutes of cradling, and the little one dozed off.

Andy put him on the couch after kissing him and came up to you, embracing you in one of his cuddly hugs you always loved. You tip toed and kissed him on the cheek. “Mr. Grumpy Cat, you’re making me feel like I am too dependent on you.”

“Isn’t that a good thing Momma Bear?”

“If you say so.”

—

You knew Andy was a keeper the minute he knew Nikolai would be joining them for their first date at the park.

It so happened that little Niko didn’t like being left alone with Mr. Arthur when his two-favourite people on the planet were going to spend time with one another. He threw a tantrum like one you’ve never seen before, and alas your weak heart couldn’t see him crying for too long.

To your surprise it didn’t sound like he was feigning, but Andy was genuinely looking forward to going out with you and Nikolai at the same time. After all it was his first time he was going to literally go out with you two.

Laying a picnic spread, Andy unpacked the picnic basket. Both of you did try to sneak in a few private moments with each other but was too less. Nikolai would never leave you two alone. “I am so sorry about this Andy. I know you deserved a better first date from my end.” “Hey its completely fine momma bear. This feels just like our dinner nights, only difference is that we’re out in the warm sun with home cooked food and lemonade.”

Mostly what you and Andy could do was cuddle under the tree while you spoke about tame stuff since Nikolai ran up to you both every five minutes. He would take a sip of lemonade, a bite of the Andy’s sandwich and go up the jungle gym with a couple of his newly made kid friends.

“And here I thought you were trying to impress me Andy. Your impressing Nikolai instead of seducing me?” In fact you were drop dead impressed. He took care of your son’s needs first. What more does a single mother need?

It wasn’t also helping how Andy looked so good today. A light blue shirt with black trousers, his sleeves rolled up to show his popping veins on his arm. His muscles weren’t shy from popping through his shirt material. His hair and beard, as usual, is something you’d worship alone.

He looked like a gourmet meal.

“Oh, you want seduction?” He leaned over close, breathing hot air onto your neck while he readied his hoarse voice, “Wait till you taste my peanut butter sandwich honey.” Even though his voice went low, sending you tingly feelings all over, you knew you’d never not laugh for his silly boy jokes.

Dates with Andy soon became date nights. Andy was a gentleman when it came to your son’s involvement. Any other prospective date of yours would have ended it soon since dating you meant having your son all day around. Thanks to the help of Andy’s loyal contacts and past clients, he had managed to get Nikolai into a day-care since it was time you stopped depending on your neighbours. They were extremely kind and didn’t mind taking care of Niko too, but you had to respect their fragile age. So here you two were, on an official first date without your son. A quiet lunch in a quaint cafe right near your library. Andy picked you up, even though you argued that it was literally walk-able from your workplace. Andy and you felt the conversation going so smoothly. It only felt like any other conversation you both had during dinner every day. But only this time, both of you had little butterflies in your stomachs in the hopes of this relationship blooming into a safe cocoon. A safe place for each other. "I’m guessing the first time you saw me, I was never in your good books?” “Oh no,” you huffed taking a sip of your wine, “you were a pain in the ass. I still never get it why you were so rude to me.” Andy reached out for your hands and gave a gentle squeeze. “I’ll never forgive myself for that. You just seemed so so… good to be true. I wanted to keep distance from something that was so wholesome, especially when I used to see you and Niko in your lawn every evening you know.”

”Oh shush Andy. You’ve made Niko’s and my life too good to be true now.” With great difficulty, you let Andy pay for the first date, arguing that he was always fed by your home cooked meals and now was his turn. 

“I had a good time Andy. I had such a good time. I want to spend more time with you like this.”

“We have every night ahead of us honey. We get to spend more time more now.”

“Niko has gone to his father’s place, it’s his birthday this week and he wanted Nikolai for the whole week,” your face drooped, “We have the week to ourselves. Do you wanna, you know, do something?”

“Yeah I’d love to. Say what about dinner at my place? Drop in home once work is over? I’ll cook?”

This was a little chance. He wanted to do something more intimate with you.

Once work was over, you straight away drove to his home. When Andy opened the door, you hugged Andy and took in the blissful ambience of his house.

Anyone would argue he wasn’t a bachelor. His house was so neat, better than the first time you visited his house.

Andy made a beeline to the stove and over while you removed your coat and went around the place. His house soon smelled like a warm toasty oven; vanilla candles lit on the table with a few fresh roses in a vase in between.

“How was your day honey? I really love the blouse you’re wearing.”

Such a charmer.

“Thanks bub. My day went fine you had no idea what happened…”

You dramatically narrate the events of your workplace as you plop yourself on the kitchen counter while Andy shows keen interest in your words even though he his cooking. He simmers the flames and chooses to give you his full attention now.

“…and so now Tracy doesn’t like me anymore because I am going out with you now.”

“Is that right now?” he leaned in closer, placing his arm on your sides, trapping you with his arms on either side of you.

You nodded, which was sending Andy crazy because he saw how your supple lips were being trampled by your own teeth. You looked irresistible. With your flimsy cute work blouse showing the perfect amount of cleavage and outlining the cups of your bra, he just instinctively leaned closer to you. Both of you were silent except for each other’s breaths.

But your eyes trailed lazily over him, until it landed on an uncharacteristic embroidered apron that said Kiss the Cook.

As Andy neared you, your legs wrapped around his thighs, feeling his well-toned calf muscles that he must have developed from swimming. Your voice was so breathy that you doubted if Andy could hear you. “Do we obey the words of the apron in this house?”

Andy looked down to his apron and then back at you, eyes looking at your lips, “Well I was planning for that after dinner gets over.”

“Oh Andy,” your fingernails trace his cheek, shamelessly pulling him by the chin as your lips brushed his. “But I’m so hungry…”

Andy smashed his lips on to yours, even though he wanted to be gentle. You kissed him back with all the pent-up frustration of not being able to touch a man for so long on to him. Andy kissed you just as passionately and deeply as you did. You ruffled and pulled on his hair while your tongues peaked inside one another. He tasted like a homemade meal with a splash of wine. It was the first time both of you made out. Andy Barber of the past would have instantly taken you over the counter, but his clogged mind didn’t think he deserved such gestures of pleasure. So, he never took any initiative to direct things, always seeking your direction like lost puppy. "Andy? Bub? You can touch me wherever you want,” you whispered. He pulled you closer by gripping on to your ass harshly which earned a sexy chuckle from the both of you. Andy couldn’t say how you tasted, maybe it was some flavoured chapstick that you’d always wear? But for Andy, you tasted like home, his favourite taste.

Both of you gently yet quickly ripped off each other’s clothing. Andy’s bare chest made you want to place sloppy kisses all over his body and at the same time pinch his cute pink nipples. But you reminded yourself to stay grounded.

Because Andy was being very reserved with you. He was so hesitant, you could feel it, even though he was a mind blowing kisser. He removed your top and asked you a couple of times if he could touch your breasts.

He pushed away everything and made you lie on the counter. He massaged your breasts while he shoved his tongue way down your throat. It felt so good. He felt so good. So good that you could feel your panties ruined. His hands dangerously neared your clothed core. Your fantasies of Andy bending you over the counter and fucking you like he owned you flashed for a couple of minutes. But Andy stopped his kisses the minute he smelt the burnt smell coming from the oven and stove. Andy took out the burnt pasta and the burnt chicken appetizer from his stove and oven and placed it in the open.

Two panting, half naked bodies looking at each other. “Sorry Bubba. We got um carried away with the kiss, didn’t we?”

“No way honey. That was more than just a kiss. But this is just a plate of pasta and chicken. Besides what do you think about candlelight pizza and some whiskey with your favourite Harry Potter movie?”

“Andy,” you said with your strict voice, “you have officially seduced me with that one question. It’s definitely a big yes!”

Andy plopped you off the kitchen counter with one more passionate kiss and helped you into his sweater (since you requested if you could wear one of his soft blue sweaters). Andy realised you had removed your work skirt and were tying your hair into a high bun when he finished ordering your pizza.

If Nikolai had made his living room messy and loud with his toys and fighting sounds, he would be having a perfect home right now.

Soon the pizza came. Andy didn’t let you do any kind of work. He placed the pizza box on the coffee table and lit two more freshly smelling vanilla candles in front of you. He brought his bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses (and even wine because in case you change your mind). Before Andy sat down you realised, he was like you too with just sweaters and boxers. His hair was the same, ruffled because of the little stunt you both pulled at the counter.

“You don’t mind right?” He gestured to his attire.

“Oh, lover boy, this is a perfect night and I know it.”

Before you know it your cuddling with each other as the movie goes on, taking bites of cheese and sips of alcohol. Once the food gets over, you almost reach one third of the film, now just drinking mindlessly on wine and whiskey as both of you start to get grabby with one another.

Andy and you became tipsy, the movie soon forgotten. Cuddling soon became sweet whispers of comfort.

Sweet whispers of comfort soon became sloppy neck kisses.

Oh boy and these neck kisses ended up being another make out session.

Getting lost into each other’s kisses was something you loved with Andy. Even though you could feel his hard shaft onto your clothed dripping wet core now, both of you responsible adults knew it was too early for sex.

Both of tried to exchange a conversation that was soon forgotten. It came out as mumbled words and they were soon forgotten…

“H’honey,” he burped with the amount of alcohol he had consumed, “you’re not mad at me for not having sex, right?”

“Shhh, it’s okay Andy,” you burped back too, “Nothing wrong in saying no to sex. Consent is important. We are res-responsible adults- Andy that tickles!”

Andy rolled over on top of you on the couch and attacked your ears, peppering his lips all over your chest.

Sex was out of the cards for you lovebirds. Not sloppy wet kisses right? — Andy would do these small gestures that would always bring a gush of warmth and fuzziness inside you. His hands on the small of your back whenever you walked anywhere. The small back rubs he would give you whenever his body swallows you for a hug. His forehead kisses whenever he saw you stressing out too hard thinking about Nikolai. Your most favourite, linking your hands or pulling you towards his shoulders while going out (even in a departmental store) when any unknown young man approaches you. 

You did miss your son without doubt, but it gave so much time for you and Andy to get to know each other much more intimately, emotionally.

Andy had his own vulnerabilities. That as just as much he is moving on, he is as much depressed if he is left alone. He even opened to you how he was going and try to reach out to a psychiatrist and you encouraged him to do so if it would make him feel better

Physically, Andy and you fooled around kissing all day. He never initiated anything, but when you did, he would beg you not to stop. You were genuinely not complaining because sex isn’t everything in a relationship. He told you honestly that he wanted to know you much more before consummating with you and you understood, because you realised, he just came out of a 17-year old institution called marriage.

The idea of him moving on was a blessing for you. Now you would wait for the blessing to count… Or you would just take it in your own hands?

Just the day before Nikolai visits home, Andy asked if he could work on Nikolai’s nursery. You were more than happy to oblige.

As hard as it was to get up early on a Sunday morning, Andy made it easier since he bought you some coffee and waffles.

He began with painting the wall with Nikolai’s favourite colour blue and made sure they were done in neat strokes. You are having the time of your life for you just sat on Niko’s bed watching Andy drilling a few holes into the wall. 

He was shirtless all day.

You saw how his back muscles flex as he tried to screw in wooden planks on the wall to hold any toys for him. He even made two small wooden cubbies for Niko’s toys and books. He even made sure to buy extra black paint so that we could draw a very amateur version of his Audi car that Nikolai loved. You and Andy had a good laugh at the final disfigured outcome but were happy genuinely. It was the thought that matters

He loves nothing more than a home cooked meal and so you made him lunch and dinner while he finished the last details.

You left Andy alone in Niko’s nursery while you had to wrap up the kitchen and clean it. You made sure Nikolai’s pancakes batter was in stock because he was coming home tomorrow.

When you entered the nursery, it looked so perfect. Green walls, a cute little bed for his liking and a lamp in the shape of a yellow star was placed near his bed. But just one thing or one person looked out of place.

“Andy? Why do you look so stressed?” “Nothing just- was reminded of Jacob,” he shook his head, looking at the photo frame of new-born Nikolai in your arms. “His hair looks uncannily similar to Jake’s.” You sat next to him, your hands gently squeezing his thighs in comfort. “Do you want to talk about it?” “No no, I’m fine.” He gave you a half-hearted grin, but soon smiling at you for he realised how grateful he was for you to be here at every step of processing his emotions, “Thank you momma bear.”

“No bubba, thank you for all of this.” Both of you leaned over for a quick kiss, but Andy didn’t let go. His kiss on your lips felt needy, tugging on to your lips when you let go and looked into his eyes; it wasn’t as sunken as it was when you first laid your eyes on him. You realised how bad it must be for him to be alone with his thoughts.

But at the same time, you knew he wanted more, his eyes looked like that of a needy child wanting comfort. 

And you were hell-bent on giving it to him

“Hey bubba, I gotchu’ okay?” He closed his eyes when he felt your soft palms cupping his cheek; the movement of his thumbs making him blush more. You brought your lips to his, feeling his chapped his against your soft ones.

You got up from the nursery and pulled him to your room and gently closed the door to lean in for another deep kiss.

It was too addictive. Andy had to taste more. He pulled you closer and kissed back with a newfound passion. But he felt you pulling back, leaving him breathless only to see you making him sit down on the bed and you falling down on your knees. “Hey no,” he knew what you were up to, “you don’t have do this.” “But I want to Andy. I wanna take care of you.” I want to give my love to you. You convinced him to relax and pulled down his sweatpants. His black boxers didn’t help hiding his growing bulge. You nudged him to open his legs wide and began placing soft kisses up his thighs. Andy breathed out soft whimpers when you licked and grazed your teeth over his clothed bulge all the way up. His needy state made you tear up a little bit, but it was okay, you were here for him now.

You pulled him for one more kiss before pulling down his boxers. “You look so beautiful bubba,” you whispered to him, gently stroking him while you pulled him down for a peck on his lips.

Andy was mesmerised by the sight of his cock in your hands. You teasingly stroked his length and placed sloppy kisses all over, earning a loud curse from him. 

“Fuck!”

“Do you like it bubba? Do you like me holding you like this?” your mischievous yet caring eyes fluttering as you kitten licked the tip of his throbbing cock. Andy threw his head back, his breathing becoming heavier. 

Andy was a moaning mess and boy oh boy you weren’t even started. He then saw your pretty lips wrap around his shaft, your tongue running around his throbbing length. When you wrapped your hand around the remaining part of his cock, bobbing up and down, Andy became a mumbling mess. He gripped on to the sheets beside him, not wanting to ruin his beautiful sight in front of him.

You could taste his precum on your lips, making you wet already. You sloppily licked him again, thinking about how would his hot cum feel inside of you. Your moan into his cock made Andy shudder with a small intensity. He was close already.

Tonight was about him only.

Andy tried so hard not to close his eyes, but he failed for he lost himself in this pleasure. He finally gave up tugged on to your hair gently, eyes lidded with desire. He felt so good in your mouth. 

He felt so good being with you.

As you increased the pace, you felt him buck his hips against your mouth while your fingernails gently teased his balls. Andy wanted to fall back on the bed, but he kept growling incoherently at your antics. But he wanted to see his cock getting lost in your mouth. 

“H-honey, I’m gonna- oh my god!”

He finally falls back onto the bed, his hips hitting your mouth harshly once more as you felt spurts of his sweet, salty cum go down your throat. You tried to lick every last drop of him on your lips, but you had a better idea. 

Andy slowly open his eyes, only to see you hovering over him, panting. You leaned in for another kiss, passionately taking in all of you while he came to senses to realise, he was tasting himself off of you.

Andy looked so beautiful, his face was flushed. A glow on his face like a boy getting laid for the first time. His eyes had that mild sparkle; you would do anything to get happiness in this man’s life now.

“You taste that bubba? That was you,” you kissed his neck and another sloppy kiss to his plump lips, “So sweet.”

“You’re a little minx momma bear” he panted too, rolling over to nuzzle in your neck, “I never knew you had it in you.”

“Neither did I, I just wanted to take care of you okay. You looked like you could use a uhm- you know-“

“An Orgasm?”

“Yeah.” Both of you giggled like teenagers while later as Andy pecked more needy kisses on your neck.

“I want to return the favour, Honey.”

Oh, you would gladly accept him jumping into you, but you weren’t cruel. The man was literally tired. “But you look so tired Andy,” you cupped his cheeks again, ruffling your hands into his hair, “My orgasm can wait.”

“B-but" 

“No buts mister. You did so much work today. You help me set up Nikolai’s whole room and you never even let me help you. This was all about you okay? I can’t see you with a frown on your face Andy. I really lo-like you a lot okay?”

"You hurting me honey,” he leaned closer to whisper sweet nothings, “I really like you too and that’s why I wanna make it up to you, now.”

“Sleep next to me today?” you trailed his hands over his exposed chest.

“Say no more.” You gasped as Andy lifted you over shoulders, spanking your soft peach. He gently made you sit down on your bed and helped you change into your nightwear, which was his very same blue sweater you wore that day.

That night you realised you would never cease to make his life brighter.

You spooned Andy as you both exchanged good night kisses. He was delighted, he was in the arms of a woman who was way out of his league. He slept that night peacefully knowing that he finally has someone to take care of him now. –

The very next Monday morning, Andy and you woke up to the sound of the calling bell, realising it was Chad dropping off Nikolai before he heads off to work. Andy was gleeful as he strode towards the door, excited about what happened last night.   “Yaay! Wandi!” Niko literally jumped from his father’s hand to Andy’s shoulder, hugging his mother’s new pwince tightly as ever. 

“Hey buddy, glad to have you back.”

Niko then goes running into his house, to his mother by the kitchen counter. You hugged your boy and held him in your arms, unbeknownst to you the ugly conversation that was going to follow

“It’s you from the library,” Chad eyed him like a piece of meat noticing he was not wearing his shirt.

You observed from afar. He was nothing compared to Andy. Your boyfriend’s muscles had more personality that your son’s father. “Yes and you must be Chad, Y/N’s ex-husband.” “And you must be Andrew Barber. Father of the dead Jacob Barber.” “You are a fucking son of a-” You quickly put Nikolai down and asked him to go to his room. Andy wanted to throw this man over your porch and slam his head with a metal pan. But you beat him to it as he saw you holding Chad by the collar. “How dare you? Don’t you fucking DARE say a word about him, DO YOU GET IT?” Andy tried and successfully held on to you know, deeply terrified of how you were shouting.

“You’re wearing his clothes,” he snarked “You fucking any guy that lives next to you now?“

Smack!

You slapped him hard. So hard he had a red imprint on his cheek. You waited for a second for him to open his mouth as an excuse to slap his other cheek again. Andy pulled you back now, “Sweetheart it’s not worth it. It’s okay.”

“You don’t even know anything about him Y/N,” he straightened up himself. “I may be a cheater, but I am not born a murderer.”

Andy left his grip from your arms, feeling him slowly move away inside your house.

“What?”

"Did you know his father in jail? Bloody Billy Barber? For murdering a girl?”

You felt your heart feeling heavy. “N-no.”

“Oh jolly, good luck processing that! By the way, Sasha my girlfriend and I are going on a vacation for a couple of weeks so, Nikolai will not be coming- “

You weren’t listening to him because you shut the door on his face. You slowly processed what you had heard. You never pressed Andy because you respected his choice. His words. 

“Is this true Andy?” 

You earned a small nod from his burried face in his own hands.

How could you forget? It was one of your best nights. You never doubted him and even after hearing this, you really didnt.

You both were really drunk that night (every night of the week actually), rolling on the bed with each other naked. "I have a lot more skeletons in my closet than you think Y/N.”

“Have you cheated on anyone?”

“No”

“Have you stolen monies?”

“No, you silly” “Have you killed anyone?” Andy giggled and said “No!“ He smacked your forehead. "Then consider that closet empty. I like you, this Andy Barber, not the Newton County’s DA. The hot swimming instructor who hates Speedos and loves backrubs.” By the time you could process this information, Andy got up and gently grabbed you by your shoulders, his watery eyes doing no job of his distress. “Andy listen to me okay. Wait-” “I wanna stay alone for a couple of days okay? I want to apologize if I feel like I’m abandoning you. I-I am not though…” “Bubba we can talk about this.” You pleaded him, cupping his cheek. “Just talk to me bubba please.” “No, I don’t think so Y/N. I can order take out okay. Don’t wait for dinner night for me. Thanks for last night. I’ll never forget it.” He places a quick kiss on your forehead only to leave in a hurry. “I still like you okay.”

You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream. You didn’t like how this was going.

You processed it. Andy’s father was a murderer, not Andy himself.

If Andy wasn’t going to process that, you would do that for him too. 

You would do anything to get happiness in this man’s life now.

–

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[popcornbutterflymedia]

the teen show genre is back. that it had announced it’s grand return at such a time of deep uncertainty and unimaginable loss, especially for an entire generation of teenagers, is relief, respite, and a necessary and urgent gain. there is nothing but gratitude for this...for its intended audience and for those of us who will live vicariously through the lives of the kids, for those of us who will watch, and walk with the kids. for someone like me who longs to feel strongly about a story enough to write again.

despite my ‘desperate begging’ for the return of the youth oriented show. i did not picture this. in my defense, i did not know about this story at all. now, when i did learn the gist of the story, i did not expect much. it is, after all, a trope we’ve repeatedly seen in practically every language. in my defense, again, i would have found this show, and watched it anyway, in support of the network, probably be mildly entertained, slightly amused, and successfully distracted. and that would have been enough. i was bound to find this show, though during a deep dive into the youtube rabbit hole, chancing upon a japanese doll and an american cutie, realizing the creative team for this show is that creative team. my favorite creative team. i was sold.

i knew i was going to love this show enough to write. the question is, how? do i live tweet, take notes, and write a post for every episode, or do i live tweet take notes, listen, take notes and write one big post at the end of the series? judging by how much detail i know this team puts into a story in the form of metaphors, seeds, pay offs, connection and clues, clearly obvious in this first episode alone, this calls for an episodic post, for the peace of my own nerdy, detailed obsessed mind.

it is worth repeating that i haven’t read the book. this focuses on the series alone. no references, no comparison to its source material.

and it begins. oddly so.

first, a note on the casting: my attachment to a show is dependent on my attachment to the cast of the show. i spent the weeks and months leading up the pilot episode learning as much as i can about this refreshing cast of newbies. i’d been watching rise since it began, and so it wasn’t difficult to develop a soft spot for the five rise kids who are part of the show. as for the rest of the cast, their interviews and streams are all surprisingly impressive. i always like to say ‘walang patapon sa mga batang ito.’ none at all. they are all so special that i am in awe of how many gifted children are in one batch at one time, in time for a show like this. the teen show slot was vacant because it was waiting for these specific kids. 

everyone who was given moments on this episode made the most of their moments. episode one’s surprises were criza, who is a natural. i am just grateful naih was able to use all of criza’s kulit energy. gelo, i’ve known is funny, but it wasn’t until i saw him in character that i realized just how hysterical he is. i enjoyed his interaction with ysay, i am wondering if there is more of that. v no longer surprises. i find that she is incredibly underrated still. i love that girl. fictional life sometimes clouds my judgement, ever so slightly, but these mean girls, are the mean girls i would cheer for. i’ve just been enjoying the girls’ junket interviews so much that it is also a joy to watch them in character. aimee is spunky, sophie is incredibly poised. khloe is a joy to watch, and ash just fits in, dalia...i have never seen a girl with such strong presence and beauty since hopie. i have never enjoyed watching a local queen bee as much as i feel i would enjoy, and hate to watch kim. dalia is amusing to watch too, so there’s that. joao, you know i have always found reliable and competent. limer, i am just happy an actor like him is in a show as big as this. kaorys is my in on this show. they are favorites. i adore them. she registers well on camera, and rhys is music to my ears, and has such an animated, expressive face. i cannot wait to watch their subplot and write about them in detail. i am attached to these kids. i know they are going to be a joy to watch.

melizza, melizza deserves her own paragraph. i first paid attention to when she was answering those miss universe questions on rise, and my jaw literally dripped at how intelligent she is. that intelligence shines through in her portrayal of elle. she is self-aware, and aware of her co-stars in a scene. she is conscious of where she is in a scene. she does she is a realiable actress in that there is no fear that she will break character it doesn’t have to be her scene, but i cannot help but watch her. she isn’t a scene stealer, but she is always acting, always reacting. she gets the assignment: from speaking french to playing a nuanced mean girl whose meanness, is as she understands and plays elle, stems from fear, from being threatened. i actually love that. there is no real villain in this story, just kids navigating unfamiliar, ugly, strange feelings, with limited ways to express these feelings. melizza gets it. i said i am a melizza fan now. i mean it.

donny and belle individually: i had known of donny, watched him long enough to know him, and who his family is. since he started mostly on social media, this ate didn’t quite get the appeal. no offense, it’s just a generational thing. haha! when he started acting, he was like most greenhorns to me, appeal understandable, charming to an extent, but with still so much to learn. i missed his last acting stint before this show. i did not watch jpd.

belle is a going bulilit alum. that’s all i really need to know to trust the casting. i wasn’t a fan yet. i had no clue about the story so i did not know just how much weight the character carried, but by virtue of the fact that she’s been acting the longest out of the ensemble, i knew she knew what she would be doing. i knew the management knew what they were doing when they casted her. belle as the focal point of the story lends such an air of confidence that the story will be told well and that the necessary intimacies will be handled with care. belle’s ability to transform would make max’s arc effective. i did not watch jpd. i had heard about it.i had heard it was surprise. ‘the ending part...’ it was all too familiar: lizquen, circa 2012, must be love: ‘the ending...’

it was completely blind, complete trust.

their casting made me momentarily forget that there were multiple rounds of auditions, from which the each of the cast were carefully picked. it just seemed so random, that is, in context of say, kaori and rhys that could count kuya’s house as part of their shared history. so much of my acceptance of this new pairing depended on how much i trusted the team, and how i knew they worked. i then consumed any and all donbelle content i could find, which, at that time was painfully lacking. imagine the excitement when that first general assembly officially kicked off the hih junket, from then on, they started to grow on me. 

these are two calm, cool, collected kids, with a kulit side for sure, but they both take their sweet time. there is a formality and wide open space that was begging to be bridged with these two. there were times i would will myself to see it.  theirs isn’t an instant explosion of chemistry, but a sustained afterglow. once that was clear, the goal of sustaining this partnership for however long, how many other stories they can tell together, also became clearer.

it was the tv patrol interview by the lockers that had me sold. it was him joking that they were already married with three kids. it was the way he looked at her in that interview, the way he still does, with donbelle, it’s all the little, quiet things. i don’t know how to explain it, but if they were to jump into the emotional deep end together, i have no fear.

now, back to the beginning which i thought was strange. a recap of what i imagine is the entire first season, artistic as it may be, is one huge spoiler. i realized, this is based on a book. those who’ve read it obviously know what’s going to happen. such opening is meant to set the mood. it’s an invitation to emotionally invest. it’s safe to say, it accomplished those two goals, but i feel as though there is more to that opening. as someone who is clueless about the source material, it reassures that it doesn’t matter what we know, or don’t know, because this is less a story of ‘what?’ and more a story of ‘whys?’ and ‘hows?’this takes me back to the first general assembly when comparisons to the meteor garden, boys over flowers were brought up. i understand the comparisons, but now that the first episode has aired, i feel so strongly against it.  

this introductory montage is proof that it is not about the pieces of the story, but how the pieces are moved around to tell a story, to give us a fresh new perspective of a trope, starring stereotypical characters. the story is told in retrospect, with our lead looking back, taking all the pieces of the whole apart, rather than building the story as she goes along (which is incidentally how i like to take in stories).

the introductory montage is a device that allows a more expanded storytelling. the story is told from max’s point of view. it’s a story of how she sees things, this makes her an unreliable narrator due to her blind spots and clouded judgement. as the story goes along, the audience sees that it is not only max’s story, it is deib’s as well, and the rest of the characters’ stories, max only sees the bigger picture in retrospect. because i am such a nerd, imagine my kilig when i realize why that choice for an opening was made? i may have screamed.

notes, questions, favorite moments.

belle’s ‘sigurado,’ the first 4-5 notes of the hooked sprinkled throughout the episode.

on the road: the transition from max on the trike and deib, in his car rushing through a countryside road, if that was clean editing, i’d celebrate it...that the two people were on the same road at the same time travelling different directions is the most clever storytelling moment thus far. i love when seeds are planted and pay offs are grand. it was hardly a meet cute, but it was some intense head on collision. okay, i got it just then, the accident was a literal representation of their metaphorical colliding. it was a lot of things for her: irritation, wonder, disturbance, fascination, disruption. it was a complicated mix for him too, except clouded by the rush of having to be somewhere else other than that moment. charged. electric. spark. lightning that escaped him. (yup. more on that later).

this encounter begs the question: what was deib doing there? why was he in a rush?

the airport scene: ‘hinihintay ka na ng kapalaran mo.’ a beautiful verbal sign of things to come.

meeting daddy: it’s what uncertainty does to max that i find so disarming her fidgeting the heart shaped pendant close to her chest, summoning said heart for strength, and grace, counting on the assurance of its familiarity.

the car conversation with dad: still disarming. charming. curious. that the necklace from which hangs her heart shaped confidante was actually her dad’s gift to her mom. how heartwarming is the thought that the one thing that makes her feel close to her mom is actually from her dad who she is meeting for what i assume is the first time? i think it’s a beautiful irony.

the dinner table scene. the family dynamic it established. elle’s french, max wrestling with the chopsticks on the side.

sleepless max. her hidden vulnerability, and with whom that vulnerability finds comfort. who is babu?

max’s fist at the school entrance, and elle calling her out on it.

the cafeteria scene, and how that whole moment is the selling point of the story - brave max who does not care for the social rules of her new school standing up to the bully who happens to look the way he does. i won’t say she’s unaffected, but at that point  her view is clouded with the injustice she just witnessed, that is until they recognize each other. as a side note: ysay and lorde’s interaction made me smile.

the aftermath. max has now caught the attention of the whole school, she has caught the attention of the mean girls so much so that walking down the halls is social suicide. when aimee confronted her, (sophie did so well!) my eyes looked for elle’s eyes. there were layers upon layers of emotion there: shame, hesitation, confusion, fear, maybe anger, there was a flash of her wanting to connect too, or did i just imagine it?

the gym scene with all the boys. it’s probably my favorite...not really, but it’s the scene that gave me so much, the scene that proved to me that this is more than just a simple, one dimensional teen show. this one moment spawned so many fan theories online that i have yet to read. it’s interesting when we cross that bridge, but to me for now, it is from this point up to the debate that kind of turned the tables, and gave the story a sudden depth that’s unexpected. it made the audience pay attention to deib as well, that this is as much his story too. and on the aspect of change, in one interview (i can’t remember which one), i remember belle describing max as someone who wants to change the people around her, and through that, she is changed as well. i did not understand what she meant at that time, until this. and the debate.

the debate: i just love the debate, simply because i love words, but long-winded dialogue like that is risky especially on a show like this. i loved it. i loved the rhythm, poetry, and point of it. i love how layered it is. i loved how comfortable was delivering his lines. i did not cringe, which just means he has gotten better at this whole acting thing, and it’s always a joy to watch someone breakthrough. this moment was necessary as a springboard to the next scene, to show that the rivalry isn’t just a physical one, but a rivalry of the minds too. (i enjoyed that that was pointed out in one of the kumu lives)  this is also one of the scenes that proved what the introductory montage was trying to establish: that max is an unreliable narrator, that there are things she doesn’t see. i would say the tables have turned, and it has, but we also discovered that deib has always been the romantic, and max the realist. at that moment we know that max will be changed irrevocably. that ending took the wind out of me. that hurt, but it was thrilling too, made me excited for things to come.

 ‘love is like lightning.’ poor deib doesn’t know he has been struck by lightning, and is prone to the electricity of one. he doesn’t know it yet because of the gray sky gloom of his shattered heart.

the kiss is everything, it was shocking, kilig and all that, but in context of the story, it is more appealing more kilig to think of all the interactions that lead up to that accidental kiss, all the pent up tension in those interactions that is channeled into that meeting of lips. oh gosh! it just occurred to me, this kiss was predicated by such a verbose exchange just to prove a point, to win. it only took this kiss to shut both max and deib up. i would say there are no winners here. they are both losers to love. except. it’s still to early to call it, right?

in terms of the team up: implied as it is, this is what i mean when i say, i am unafraid for these two to go there, when necessary. there is such a safety i sense between donny and belle, in the way they care for each other. it’s beautiful.

to say that this show only promotes bullying to its young, impressionable target demographic, could not be more wrong. this show matters because it gives its characters (who are representative of today’s teen generation), complete arcs, and safe spaces for feelings no matter how ugly they are. it’s a show that allows teens to be teens, allows them to figure things out for themselves, a show that allows them to relate with one another, as they should. and the usual byproduct of emotional teens relating with one another is bullying. it’s not the best thing ever, but it is what it is. see, we can only pray and hope that the kids turn out to be good ones, but to expect kids to be perfect is out of the question. this is a work of fiction, of course there is a tinge of exaggeration. now, if you all are that bothered by the bullying, i hope there are adults watching with you. be kilig. have fun with the show, but always look deeper.

why do you think i needed three re-watches and few days for a post this long?

i am excited for the next episodes.

__

(if i think to add more, this will be edited).

[i-need-entertainment]

Dreams Can Come True: Chapter 2 New Home

Chapter 1-Chapter 3

After Y/n’s shift at the daycare was over, she quickly made her way home and changed into more presentable clothes for her ‘interview’. She made her way out of her home wearing shiny black heels, a form fitting black pencil skirt and a loose, comfy white blouse. Y/n made her way into the café and immediately spotted her friend from this morning. 

She walked over, “Hi Kurono, I hope I didn’t take too long, I wanted to look presentable for meeting your boss!” Chrono took a moment to look at Y/n, and she looked good. If not for his keen control on his emotions he was sure his face would have gone red, but he kept his composure and simply nodded. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. The man lives in button ups and slacks, so I’m sure you’ll make a good first impression.” Y/n then took a moment to notice what Chrono was wearing, he too, had changed into something nicer. He was now wearing a white button up and dark wash, not skinny but not super loose fitting, jeans. Dang, the man cleans up nicely. Unfortunately for our little Y/n here, she doesn’t have the same control over her emotions as the stone cold gangster, so her cheeks may have flushed a *little* pink. Chrono noticed her change in appearance and inwardly flushed at the thought of her blushing at him. Being 20 he knew he was in his ‘prime’ or whatever, and most people would have expected him to have a girlfriend by now, but dating wasn’t exactly easy in his position. Sure, he had a few girlfriends before, but they either just got in the way, only dated him to get close to Kai, or in the most unfortunate cases, weren’t exactly faithful. He just didn’t really see the point in dating if he was just going to get hurt in the end, or have to hurt someone in the end, I mean he may be a ‘heartless’ mafia but he does have one. There was also the fact he had a six year old to take care of, and in all aspects of his life, she was his priority. He had always wanted kids, and a wife. But if he could have at least one of those things, he couldn’t complain, right? He snapped out of it, and led Y/n back to the private room his boss had gotten for the night seeing as the Hassaikai had special ties with the owner. As she walked in the room, she noticed a young, fairly tall and built young man sitting down at the head of the table. Chrono led her to her seat at the opposite end, and took his seat to the right of his boss. To Overhaul’s left was another young man. Y/n polite fully bowed her head and introduced herself. “Hello sir, I’m Y/n L/n.” He nodded his head in acknowledgement and motioned for her to take a seat. It was now she paid attention to what the others were wearing. The man at the head of the table was wearing a black button down shirt with black pants and a white-gray tie. The man beside him dressed in all black, wearing a cape like top and a black bowler’s hat. Most peculiarly about the two however…is that they were wearing plague masks. While the one dressed solely in black wore one that covered his whole face, the one seated at the head of the table wore a burgundy and gold mask that covered only half of his face. Wait a minute…You knew who these people were. “Good evening Ms. L/n. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out who we are, yes?” “I have an idea..” Y/n then noticed Chrono had slipped on  white medical mask. “You’re probably wondering what the Shie Hassaikai wants with a daycare worker, Hm?” You simply nodded your head. “I don’t know how much Chronostasis has told you, but we are in need of female caretaker for the little girl you met today. We’re offering you a spot as not only her caretaker, but as a respected member of the Shie Hassaikai. Join us, and I assure you, you will be taken care of.” Y/n took a moment to think about it.

~Chrono POV/ Narrator POV~

I really do hope she says yes, having her around would make taking care of Eri a lot easier, ad it’d be nice to have her around. “Okay, I’ll do it” Yes! “But…” But…? “I don’t want to kill anyone. It’s true I’m not the biggest fan of heroes, but I’m not exactly pro villain either, I just want to take care of Eri, if that’s okay.” Seems fair to me. I didn’t really want her to have to kill either, a girl as pretty and nice as herself shouldn’t have to go through that….wait what the heck am I thinking?! “Those terms are acceptable, welcome to the Shie Hassaikai, L/n. Now, if you don’t mind, we’d like to ask you some more…personal questions.” Oh boy, here we go again, I already know what he’s going to ask, 1. What’s your quirk. “Tell me, what is your quirk?” Knew it. “Telekinesis, I can control small objects and bring them towards me, or place them wherever I can see.” Overhaul just nodded. 2. Any family/friends who would question your disappearance? “Do you have any family or friends that might find your absence…suspicious?” Strike two “Just my aunt Hina, although I’ve been moved out for two years now, so it shouldn’t seem too suspicious.” Overhaul nodded again, “Very well, tonight we’ll go ahead and move you into your new home, since you’ll be a permanent caretaker for Eri, you will need to live in the base.” Y/n simply nodded, “That’s fine with me.” Overhaul stood up, and threw on his coat. “It’s been a pleasure working with you, L/n. Chrono, take her home and help her get what she needs, I’ll have Mimic send the other precepts over to move her out.” “Yes sir.” With that, chrono left the café with Y/n. When they exited, Chrono took off his mask. He really hated wearing it, but it was kind of important. Due to his villain attire, no heroes or police knew what he looked like, so unlike some of the precepts, he could pretty much just waltz around a free man. “So, Mafia, huh?” Y/n teasingly pointed out. “Yeah…sorry about not being completely honest earlier, but I didn’t want to scare you off too quickly.” Y/n simply nodded. “It’s okay, although I doubt it would have, like I said, I’m kind of indifferent towards heroes and villains, so I at least would have heard you out first.” “Thanks…most people aren’t as understanding.” Y/n just hummed and kept walking with Chrono. “So, how did you get the name ‘Chronostasis’, does it have something to do with your quirk?” “Yeah, actually it’s the name of my quirk.” Y/n looked at Chrono with wide eyes, “What does your quirk do?” “Well, you see my hair?” He pointed to his head. “Yeah” “Okay, well you see how the ends are pointed like clock needles?” “Mhm.” “Well, I can control them, but I have to be completely still, and they’re really sharp. So, if I struck someone with the hour hand, they’ll be slowed down for an hour, If I strike someone with the minute hand, they’ll be slowed for a minute.” Y/n’s eyes widened in amazement. “Its not really that flashy…or that useful.” Chrono awkwardly looked away, hand rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Y/n quickly shook her head. “Nuh-uh, not at all I think it’s really cool!” By the enthusiasm in her voice he knew she was being sincere. He softly SOFTLY smiled and shook his head. “You really think so?” “Yes!! They look really cool, and most people don’t have defenses against being slowed, so I think it’s super powerful!” “Thanks Y/n.” No one had ever told him they genuinely really liked his quirk. Most people just left it alone, or thought it was weird. But here was this bubbly, sweet daycare worker who was practically fangirling over it. “No problem, you shouldn’t put yourself down like that, especially when there’s nothing to put yourself down for…” Y/n averted her eyes to the ground, a soft smile still present on her lips. “Well, here we are. It’s not much, so it shouldn’t take too long.” Overhaul had already called the landlord and arranged for Y/n to be let out on the lease early. (Turns out Yakuza bosses have a bit of power over people.) Chrono and Y/n entered Y/n’s small apartment/house. Chrono looked around, for someone who’s so young, he could tell y/n put a lot of work into her house. “Okay, give me like, five minutes and I’ll get what I need.” Because Y/n only had the one room in the hassaikai, she packaged up all of her valuable collections. Pictures of family and friends, irreplaceable things and gifts, etc. She packed up her clothes and brought a small bag of essentials to get her through the night. “Okay, I’m ready to go!” With that the two left for the Hassaikai base, but not before Chrono called Nemoto to bring the car, since it was going to be a longer drive and it was pretty late. After they got back to the base, Chrono led her into the traditional looking house, got to a door and stopped. He punched in some code, and the door opened to a stair case. This is where the main part of our base is, its where all the stuff goes down. Oh, it’s also where the bedrooms are.” They made their way down the stairs and started walking down the hallway. “Don’t be intimidated by all the guys here, you’re probably going to be pretty popular for the first few weeks, other than Eri you’re the first female to be down her. Also, ignore the petty flirting, most of these guys can count on one hand the number of women they’ve ‘talked’ to, most probably on one finger” “Really?” “Uh-huh, as you can imagine we all stay pretty busy, so no one really has time to go out and meet anybody new, let alone date.” Y/n nodded her head, she knew what that was like. Working at the day care and helping her aunt out once in a while kept her pretty busy. She had dated in the past, but none of her relationships lasted. In fact she hadn’t even attempted any relationships after him. Him being her ex, who she dated through high school, and even for some time after before she caught him cheating on her with her best friend. Chrono then walked her to a door and stopped, well this is it. It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.” He pushed the door open and Y/n followed him inside, he then helped Y/n unpack the few things she brought with her. “Alright, hopefully that’s good enough till tomorrow, the rest of your stuff should be here by then.” “This’ll be just fine, thank you for your help…for everything really.” She smiled at him, and he gave a half smile back. “No problem, We appreciate you coming to help…I appreciate you coming to help.” There was a silence between them, although they didn’t know what kind of silence, it wasn’t an awkward silence, more like there was something there…but neither one knew what it was. “Well, anyways, I’ll get out of your hair. The bathroom is that door right there, and the living room and kitchen are just down the hall. If you need anything just text me, you’re probably going to get lost at least once, it’s pretty much a maze down here. Uhm, yeah. Oh and you’ll meet Eri again tomorrow. Her room and my room aren’t that far from here.” “Okay, I will. Thanks again Kurono. Goodnight.” “Goodnight Y/n.” An with that, the young second hand made his way out of her room and towards Eri’s room to put her to bed, seeing as it was about 8:30 pm and he didn’t want her to be cranky when she met Y/n again tomorrow. *Knock Knock* “Eri? Can I come in? It’s daddy.” The door quickly opened and Eri tackled Chrono in a hug. Eri then led him inside and sat on her bed. “Alright kiddo, it’s time for bed. Tomorrow your going to spend the day with someone new.” Eri’s ears seemed to perk up at the mention of someone new since not many new people come around here. As Chrono was getting Eri ready for bed, he started to explain the new circumstances to her as best he could. “Do you remember the nice lady that helped you today at the park?” Eri nodded her head. “Well, she’s going to be your new caretaker.” He realized he definitely should have worded it differently when he stared back at him with big wide scared eyes. “ W-what do you mean daddy? A-are you g-going to leave me?” It then clicked that it sounded like he was being replaced! “No! No sorry Eri! I’m not going anywhere I promise!” He held her in a bone crushing hug before leading her to the bed and tucking her in, looking for a book to read before she went to sleep. “She’s just gonna help me take care of you is all. Not replace me.” “Oh.” Eri seemed to understand. “So she’s gonna be my new Mommy then?” If chrono had been drinking water he was 1,000% sure he would’ve choked. “U-um yes and no? For now, let’s just call her Ms. Y/n, okay?” He could hear the fear in his voice of her asking any more difficult questions. “But why is she here? I thought you took care of me?” “I do pumpkin, but especially because you’re a girl, you should have a girl influence to look up to.” “Because I’m a girl? But why?” Shoot. He thought he could avoid THIS topic for at least 6 more years. What is he supposed to tell her? Yeah, in about 6 years give or take your body is going to turn on you and try to kill you once a month? Not exactly something you tell a 6 year old. “H-how about we talk about it tomorrow pumpkin” If the squeakiness of his voice didn’t give him away, his red face sure did. “Daddy? Is something wrong? You’re being weird.” Chrono just shook his head and tried to compose himself. “Yeah, daddy’s just being weird. Hey! How about we read that book now.” “Okay.” Chrono then read her the book and tucked her in to sleep. Making his way to his bedroom and collapsing on his bed, tired from the events of the day.

[vore-scientist]

Hey Little SongBird

[Sfw safe soft M/m GT vore]

A Tale of the Mystic Woods

Premise: A bard is in desperate need of a story. Can he sing his way out of being eaten by the evil giant wizard known as Yonah HaEsh? Well. No. But perhaps he can sing his way out of the wizard’s stomach? A fun little adventure for sure. 

Story is First Person (The Bard’s) POV. He’s a expressive narrator. 

Warnings: big Fear.play during the vore scene! This is a thief style story. Yonah,  if you don’t know, is very convincing when he says he kills people. And because he has no quick and easy safety spell, his treats sometimes end up a little bit well, not di.ges/-ted but slight skin irritation happens from time to time. Yes some pain, but no permanent harm! Yonah’s very practiced at making sure they are A-OK!

Ok onto the story!

---

I hate the stereotype of bards being horny tricksters who use their voices to seduce people into infidelity. Any such stories are complete poppycock and base slander. Bards are more than pretty faces and lovely voices. We are first and foremost story tellers, entertainers! Actors and chroniclers! Often risking life and limb to get you the stories you love so much. Those fancy sword moves and fight dances you see on stage aren’t just for show.  

But still. Going into the Mystic Woods in search of my next story was not a great idea. Solo-ing an adventure into such a dangerous realm was asking for death, with no one around who could tell of it. And yet, I had run out of new material and was desperate. Why didn’t I just purchase rights from another bard through the guild, you might ask? Clever, very clever, but that’s what low rankers do. The Apprentices, the Journeyers. Not Masters such as I. 

At least, not ones who are blacklisted from the guild for not properly crediting a story. How was I to know it wasn’t public domain! It seemed pretty generic to me. 

Another problem with being blacklisted? No one wants to adventure with you. Not anyone high ranking enough to help me anyways. 

Regardless, to earn back my place in the guild I needed a new story, an impressive story. So I gathered my supplies and took the first teleport to the City of Luster, closest city in the Kingdom of Orr to the Mystic Woods. Sure, other cities exist at its borders, but Luster is the only one with a direct path into the Woods. A path that is safe, to a point. 

It’s also a great place to get a few last minute supplies. For example, a small ukulele. My previous instrument, my precious goldenrod Oud, was repossessed by the guild. I needed something cheap and lightweight. And also I was banned from purchasing from most craftsfolk because, and I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this, I'm Blacklisted. 

Luster is so large that I was able to find the ukulele in a pawn shop. I wasn’t after a ukulele, that’s just what was there. 

Right! I was ready to go.  

Whistling the first ever song I wrote, and tuning my new old ukulele, I set off down the road. 

And Into the Woods. 

---

Maybe I should lower my standards? Surely the guild won't be too hard on me?

Or perhaps it would just take more than a day and night in the woods to find a story. 

The first day I found some gnomes preparing for a small feast of the half-moon glory. I was confident that something would happen at the party. Something had to go wrong, and maybe a hero—maybe I—would save the day! Or night, as it would be night. No such luck—it was a very nice celebration, absolutely no issues. Wasted a day!! 

Not that I’m on a time limit. 

The gnomes were so nice, and they made the most delightful floral scented cakes. They enjoyed my songs and tales about heroic gnomes and I left their camp with a flower crown and a sack of cakes. 

I felt like today I would find a story! 

Nope. 

In this forest of wonder and magic and monsters and secrets, I ran into nothing. I even played music to attract trouble but Nooooooooo, guess even the beasts of the woods knew I was blacklisted! 

It was late afternoon when I found some interesting deer tracks and decided to follow. 

Bards aren’t known for our stealth but I’m going to tell you a secret. What’s the guild gonna do! Blacklist me? 

Anyways the secret is: certain Bards learn to play notes and pitches that cancel out our footsteps and create silence. 

I followed the prints to find a small herd of very interesting deer! 

They had really interesting patterns, each one slightly different but only if you looked closely. That meant I needed a closer look. 

So focused on the deer I didn’t watch my feet and I tripped. The deer ran off. 

“HEY!” a shrill voice called from somewhere in the trees, “What did you do that for?”

No idea who was yelling at me but I was taking no chances, and like the deer I bolted. But not fast enough, not nimble enough. 

An arrow shot by my leg and stuck in the ground. I stopped. And stood perfectly still. 

“Idiot.” the voice was now right behind me! 

I turned. And looked down. It was an elf! With plum purple skin and dark green hair. 

And they were laughing. 

Then another elf fell from the trees to land silently next to the first. This one had dark green skin and straw yellow hair. Their long ears were standing straight up reaching higher than my eyes. 

They were laughing too.

“What’s so funny?”

“You responded to ‘idiot’!” Said the purple one. 

Ugh. Elves!!

Then they got suddenly more serious. 

“Can’t believe it! We’ve been hunting those deer before the sun even rose and you happened to trip when we got them in our sights!”

“I’m... sorry?” 

The second elf elbowed the first, “He couldn’t have known we were there, Damian! Not his fault!” She spoke in elvish but I’m fluent. 

The first elf, Damian, looked up and half groaned half sighed, “and I suppose, Bridget, that I should apologize to the human for almost shooting him?”

I don’t know why I spoke up but I did. 

“It was an impressive warning shot!”

Damian’s ears stood up again then folded back and a little red flush appeared on the purple cheeks. As did on Bridget’s but for a different reason. 

“Yes. Warning shot,” they said. 

This time I managed to keep my mouth shut. Not a smart idea to quip about an elf’s hunting prowess. I still wasn’t happy to learn they were trying to shoot me! 

“You’re an adventurer?” Asked Bridget. “What’s your name?

“A bard!” I said. “I’m, um, Ophir!” 

“Need a place to stay tonight, Ophir?”

The shadows were lengthening, I hadn’t noticed. And then my stomach growled. 

“I sure do. But are you sure? I mean I did scare the deer-“

Damian shouldered their bow and nodded, “It wouldn’t be very elven to leave a stranger in the woods.”

Even not hunting they moved so silently I couldn’t take my eyes off them as I followed them to their village. We stopped by the temple, as it is the respectful thing to do when entering the village. It was set up for fall, done up in browns and oranges and paper chains. On the altar was a single brown leaf. The first one seen by a member of the village. 

I’m not elvish but I still prayed to Autumn for my hometown to have a bountiful harvest. 

I sat on the floor in the common dining hall as my new… friends, sat on stools made of tree stumps. They may not have caught any deer but there was some sort of roasted meat concoction wrapped in sugary leaves, crystallized to give it crunch, making a sweet and savory combination I’d never experienced before. The same sugar crispy leaves were used to scoop a sort of nut and vegetable curry. Delightful! I could write a song just about the food. 

I of course told them why I was in the woods, since they were curious. 

And they told everyone how I tripped and fell, exaggerating it greatly. All the elves laughed but knowing elves I was better off. They enjoyed slapstick comedy. The fact that I was able to laugh at myself seemed to gain me favor. 

One elf, with lighter green skin and dark brown hair laughed like the rest and yet, their eyes were deep in thought. They were a strange one, I think. Even by elf standards they had a strange name. 

Jacuzzi? Who names themselves Jacuzzi?

Then they spoke. 

“So, Ophir, you need a story?” They asked. I nodded.

“I think I can help you,” they said, “at the very least point you in the right direction.” 

At their words a lot of the company got quiet. 

“If you’re that desperate, there’s,” they paused, as if they were still considering whether or not to tell me. “A wizard. If you encounter him, you’re sure to get a proper story.”

I couldn’t think why this made the elf act so strange, plenty of mages made it their job to participate in tales. Though, with wizards they were usually evil, if not a member of an adventuring party. Nonetheless! A story about a wizard sounded fantastic. 

“Where does-“ I stopped myself from finishing that stupid sentence. Nowhere in the Mystic Woods stayed put so asking for directions was complete folly. 

“What’s the best way to, uh, find him?” 

Jacuzzi shrugged “The birds have the most up to date information. But you’ll know it’s his place when you find the tower in the garden.”

Lots of wizards had towers, few had gardens. That was more of a witch thing. 

“He’ll be there? Tonight?”

“Probably, he can't- well he’ll be there. If not tonight then by the morning. Don’t mess with his things.” 

Sound advice. 

“Hold on tonight?” Damian re-entered the conversation. “Are you mad? Traveling the forest at night is dangerous! Especially alone.”

“So? I’m trying to get into trouble. Doesn’t make a difference if I find it at the tower or on my way.” 

My confidence wasn’t entirely fake. I had a good meal, I wasn’t tired. I could knock this out by morning! 

“Thank you, for everything.” 

I swear I heard giggling as I departed. If these elves were pulling one over on me well! I don’t know what I would do but I’ll think of something. I had a wizard to find. 

It wasn’t long before I realized why I should have waited for morning. 

No! Birds! 

From whom could I ask directions? A rodent? They were never as helpful. The sun was about to set. It was only early autumn, the days were still a decent length, but it would be dark real soon. No birds, no people. 

Wait. I spoke too soon. There were footsteps. It was a slim chance but maybe they could help me. 

“Young man, what are you doing? Don’t you know it’s dangerous to be out at night alone?”

The voice had a deep and soft quality that wasn’t human. But they were speaking Orrian. Really folks, dont meet strangers in the forest that you can’t see. They’re usually evil witches or sorcerers or cyclops ogres. Yeah, one-eyed ogres are skilled talkers, luring people to them. It was only after I answered I realized this could be an ogre. 

“Aren’t you out alone too?”

“Why yes-” the voice was closer and then I saw them. 

Thankfully it wasn’t and ogre. But it was a witch, and a dwarf one. Uncommon. Probably not evil. It did explain why they were confidently out at night. Dwarves had pretty amazing night vision. They had the traditional black robe and hat, and a cat sat down beside them. It was a really large cat, which was amusing next to the short witch. Their long braided beard was decorated with trinkets, which was a quaint look I must admit. 

“But I live here.”

I stood up straight, which I guess was a bit rude. 

“How do you know I don’t?” I stammered, “I could!”

The dwarf stroked their beard, “I guess it’s possible, do you?”

I sighed and slouched, “No…”

“But I am looking for trouble.” I explained my story and the dwarf listened, smiling kindly. 

“So the elves told me I would be guaranteed a story if I found this wizard who has a tower and a garden-”

The witch’s eyebrows raised. 

“- you know this wizard?”

The cat mrowed loudly, his tail swishing on the forest floor a bit faster. 

“I do indeed,” there was an extreme fondness in their voice. 

“And you know where he is?”

The witch laughed, “I’d say this was coincidence, but in these parts there are too many of those to be truly coincidental. I do in fact know the current location, and it’s close by.”

“Really!” I almost danced with excitement. 

Unlike the elves the dwarf had no hesitations. They pointed me in the right direction, and informed me of a few roadblocks and landmarks. 

“If you hurry you should be just in time for dessert,”  they said, waving as I wasted no more time in heading off. 

“Thanks so much!” I turned on my lantern and my back on the witch. 

Oh if I had only thought about the implications of their last words to me. 

Hilarious. In hindsight. 

Nevermind that now, I’m sure you’re already laughing. Hahaha. 

Finding the tower was easy with the witch’s directions. They’d even told me the thorns were fake and the vines safe to climb up. That should have raised red flags, or some color, but I was so focused on achieving my goal. 

Now, we bards aren’t really known for our… physical abilities beyond dance. We can fight sure, but a fifty-foot climb is gonna leave most bards gasping for breath. I'm proud to say I was merely on the cusp of wheezing, though I was having difficulty standing. 

I needed to rest. So I lay on the windowsill. 

Which I failed to notice stretched so that I could more than easily lie down.  The cool night air and stone felt so nice. I looked into the tower. 

And my heart stopped. 

I’d gotten a brief glimpse before nearly passing out, but it was different now. 

Exactly the same. 

But. 

Bigger. 

You might know, my readers, that wizards are all human. All of them. Non-humans aren’t allowed to attend the academy. I’m sure those like I, being a quarter fairy, might be let in, but... This- this giant sized workshop didn’t make any sense. A giant could not be a wizard no way. Why would the elves say this was a wizard’s tower? Did they not understand the difference between wizard, witch, and sorcerer?

But the dwarf witch, they had to know! They had not corrected me. Plus, the workshop did have a very wizard feel to it.

What was going on here? 

I needed a moment to process so I rolled over to look outside. Looking inside made my head hurt. 

But a Giant Wizard. If that were real, what a story! If it were fake, then well, a giant mage is still exciting. I looked once more into the room. Three desks, one for material prepping and alchemy, one that looked like the main workbench, and one… like a spare workbench? It was not very organized compared to the other. And shelves full of things I could not identify. 

And on the floor, an open trap door with stairs leading down. Down to where the wizard must be. 

I was thankful I had noticed the shift in scale, or I surely would have fallen 15 feet onto the floor. Instead I got out my grappling hook and rope and rappelled down. With a flick, the hook dislodged. This place was large, I would need it again. 

I could have spent hours in this room, just taking in the immense magical collection, but that wasn’t why I was there. And I heard noises from down the stairs. Water? Clinking metal? I took each stair one at a time, slowly making my way deeper into the tower. 

Either the kitchen just happened to be one floor down or this stairwell was enchanted to take you to the floor you were thinking about. For just as I reached the landing I saw the massive doorframe that led into what was clearly a kitchen and small dining room. Small for the giant, who was at the sink washing pots, pans, and other things. 

He certainly looked like a wizard! A tall wide brimmed hat with a curling point, and robes that matched the garish colors and patterns. He had a neatly trimmed goatee and mutton chops, and long curly black hair tied behind his back. On his handsomely large nose rested thick square spectacles. Not only was he tall, he was just plain large. 

I know I talked about the false stereotypes of bards, but we weren't the only profession with them. People tended to think of Wizards as more delicate, as they spent all their time studying, never going out, forgetting meals. But this, man, for he looked more human than giant except for being over 20ft tall, well the only word for it was burly. 

I’d never imagined a wizard who, if you removed his wizard robes, put him in a flannel shirt and handed him an axe would be a picture perfect lumberjack. Now such a wizard was right before my very eyes. 

Suddenly I was not so confident. I should have lost my nerve back at the window, when I saw the scale of the workshop. But it just didn’t hit me until I saw the giant. I’ve seen giants before, they are actually larger than this person, that made him seem more dangerous. 

Oh. 

Oh no. 

This wasn’t just any wizard, or any giant. 

This one was evil. 

Maybe I could just leave! Yeah. I would just get the fuck out of here. I was not prepared to handle an evil giant wizard. 

I made my decision a bit too late. The giant stopped cleaning a plate to look up and sniff the air. 

Shit. 

It was futile to run, but it was my only option. I didn’t even make it up two stairs before the giant roared with delight. 

“FEE FI FO FUM!”

No no no! Not that! 

“I SMELL THE BLOOD OF THE HUMAN KIND!” 

Well technically I was quarter fairy but-

“IT MATTERS NOT THE THINGS YOU STOLE, I’LL CAPTURE YOU AND SWALLOW YOU WHOLE.”

Yeah… I should not have come here. Evil giants tend to eat people. I’d had a small hope that this smaller giant, who was very likely a proper wizard, wouldn’t.

He made it to the stairwell in a few seconds and scooped me up in one hand, holding me up to his face. 

“How convenient,” he smiled, revealing very giant-like fangs. His breath was horrible. “I was just thinking I needed some dessert.”

I cursed the witch from earlier. They knew! They knew he would want to eat me! But the witch wasn’t here, wasn’t my problem right now. 

“Please! Mister Wizard, I did not steal anything, I am no thief! I’m a bard!”

The giant raised his eyebrows, but did not set me down, instead he turned and walked down the stairs. 

“A bard?” he asked, “what’s your name?”

“Ophir Shel Peh!” I said.

The giant tapped his chin. “Hm. Yes I would say you probably are a bard! I don’t get many of those.” 

The room he entered was some sort of living room. But I didn’t really have the capacity to take in any details other than the chair that he sat down in. 

“I wonder if bards taste any different from thieves!” he said with excitement that made my heart drop to my feet. 

“Please, please don’t eat me!” I begged. “I just wanted a story!”

“Hm,”he placed me on the coffee table but did not let me go. Instead he started removing my gear, everything except my clothing. Things were going from bad to worse. “What do you mean?”

I didn’t have much hope of surviving but he wasn’t eating me just yet, and he was clearly open to conversing. 

“Well! Either I would tell the tale of my adventure here, or, you could give me a tale, perhaps in exchange for something?”

The giant laughed, “you came here on your own to challenge me? So you could tell your tale?”

I nodded. 

“Very foolish,” he growled, “But I could tell you a story.”

“Really?!” 

“Not that you would ever get to tell it.” he continued, “since I’m going to eat you.”

He sounded like he’d really made up his mind about that. But the longer he talked the more time I had to think of a way out of this. I didn’t want to point out that him eating me defeated the purpose of him telling me a story in the first place. 

“It’s a good one too. Surely you were surprised to find me a half-giant and wizard.”

I nodded again, a bit more dumbfounded. Half giant explained a lot already. 

“But if I tell you how I ended up here, you must promise not to tell it until his mystical majesty is dead. Or I am.”

What?

“Are you dying?”

The giant looked wistful. “No. But I’m a villain. I could die any day. The next person who comes into my tower could be the one who kills me.”

“And you’ll finally get what's coming to you I guess,” I said. “Like I’ll even be able to tell it since I’ll be one of your victims.” 

The giant laughed, “oh yes, of course. Cause I’m going to eat you! Like I have many others before.”

Great. I shouldn’t have said anything. 

He scooped me up again and placed me on the armrest. Then he let me go. But i didn’t dare try to run. 

“I guess I could start at the beginning, when I decided to become a wizard.” he mused, “The life story of Yonah HaEsh.”

He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling, and then down at me. 

“How foolish I was. I mean obviously I succeeded but it was still foolish.” 

You know how I said I would spend the time while he rambled to think of a way out of this? Well his story was certainly long enough. Gods, wizards don’t leave out details! They have no concept of narrative flow! 

And yet. It was riveting. His human father was a fire witch and that got him interested in magic. So he disguised himself as human to attend school. He was found out eventually, expelled and arrested for infiltrating the kingdom as a dangerous magical monster. He was almost executed before he was offered a job here in the tower! And amazingly, the Grand Master of the school had taken pity on him and allowed him to continue his studies here and graduate, earning the right to call himself a wizard. 

The point is I forgot about escaping. Until he started to wrap up his story. 

“Never intended to become evil. But it suits me!” He said brightly. 

That brought me back to reality. Evil. Giant! 

I was in his hand again, not so tightly this time but still secure. Face to face. He was smiling again and chuckling.

“Especially since it means I get to eat people!”

“You're so surprised you’re evil but I’m not!”

I think he knew I was stalling more but didn’t care. 

“How so?”

“You spent years among smallfolk! You have smallfolk friends! And you’re perfectly fine eating us?”

He snorted “it was smallfolk that expelled me from school, that nearly executed me for trying to learn magic! And for trapping me here, in my tower. Make no mistake, this gilded cage is still a cage.” 

There really was no going back. 

“Now your time's up, and I’m hungry.”

I still screamed! Who wouldn’t! I was sure he was going to have to bite me in half to eat me even if his earlier proclamation was to swallow me whole. 

I barely fit in his mouth, ribs pressed into his lower teeth and it hurt! His saliva soaked me through so quickly I could only imagine how good I tasted. I tried to brace myself on his teeth but my hands slipped between the jaws. Even more distressing he was definitely enjoying my struggles and flavor. 

Then I was upside down! And even in the tight space I slipped towards his throat. I put my hands forward to try and stop but it was so slick they slid down into his throat, along with my shoulders, as he swallowed. 

The air was crushed out of my lungs and I dared not scream. It was hard, as I knew where I was headed, and I was surrounded by hot rubbery flesh that shoved at me, eager to get me to my destination. 

A massive throbbing against my face told me I was passing by his heart. It was at this point he took another swallow and my feet slipped into his throat, my hands… they touched air. Thick. Hot air. 

And then so did my face and I made the mistake of gasping for breath. As the air smelled of vomit, and I remembered the wizard was cleaning up from dinner when I arrived. I was smelling the remains of that meal. Oh gods if he had eaten me right away I would have been sitting in food! It was a small bit of reprise, I guess. That the giant decided to talk for a couple of hours. 

My feet were still in the esophagus when my face pressed against the opposite wall of the stomach. It was slimy like I couldn’t believe! I pulled my feet free and oriented myself so that I was sitting upright. 

This must be what it feels like to be kidnapped in a sack. A sack that was going to be dunked in acid. 

“You awake in there?” said a deep rumbling voice from above, and I felt a sharp nudge. Great. He wasn’t done with me, and I failed a bit in protest. “Ha! That’s better, I go through all the trouble of swallowing you down, the least you can do is struggle and scream a bit.”

“If I do that, I’ll run out of air quicker!” I squawked. Though I suspected I would start crying soon enough. Either just out of despair or because of the pain. 

I wasn’t feeling anything yet except for slime and heat, so it wasn’t likely to be a quick death. Depending on how long it took for digestion to work on a whole human, I might run out of air and pass out first. That would be nice, less painful. Unconscious I would feel nothing. I would much prefer that- oh. 

“Mr Wizard,” In that moment I’d forgotten his name, thought I wouldn’t need it if I was going to die.

Another jab at my side. “Yes, my tasty little bard?”

“Can I make a final request?” 

The entire chamber squished and bounced a bit, and I imagined the giant heaving a sigh and sitting back in his chair. 

“That depends on the request.”

“I- I want to sing one last song. But I need my ukulele, can you-” I kind of shuddered, but it wasn’t like an heirloom or something, “swallow it for me?”

There was a long pause, or it felt long because my timeline was now so short. 

“I'm not a fan of eating objects,” he said, then heaved another sigh, “but I suppose I can do that.”

I felt him lean over and then heard a sickening gulp. If I was going to die I was going to die singing with an instrument in my arms!

I plucked a few cords and shook out as much of the drool as I could. 

“Your voice isn’t magical is it?” Asked the giant as I tuned the ukulele.

I smiled “No, it is. I’ve got some Fey ancestry. Never really tested its power. Mostly I’ve played monsters to sleep. Or made a crowd cry with an opening line. People tell me that when I weave a tale it’s as if they were there first hand. Not so useful when you’re already eaten.” 

Unless he’s so moved by my song that he takes pity. But I didn’t say that out loud. 

“Well, just make it a nice song. I’ve got sensitive ears.”

Ok… I had a momentary thought of singing so loudly and so sharply that his ears bled. But then I realized he was making a threat. He could make my death much much worse. My original song was fine. 

I strummed the ukulele, it sounded so odd in the stomach. And maybe it couldn’t penetrate out so well. I used a little magic to boost it. I don’t always use magic, except for my naturally magical voice, but I figured… 

This would be my last performance. And it would be for my murderer. Still, I was compelled to make it a good one. 

I’d already made it through the first instrumental bars, and I took a breath of the rancid air. 

-

In the quiet mystic morning  When the sun’s just graced the land O’er the horizon, lies a story And it begs to take my hand

Now that summer’s ceased its gleaming And the harvest’s past its prime In adventure i've found meaning But I’ll be homeward bound in time 

Bind me not, to the pasture Chain me not to the town Set me free to find my calling And I’ll return to you somehow

-

As the first instrumental break started I turned my attention to the giant’s response. It was hard to evaluate from inside of him. As far as I could tell, I wasn’t hitting my mark. 

-

If you find it’s me you're missing And you’re hoping I’ll return To your thoughts I’ll soon be listing  On the road I’ll stop and turn

-

It was starting to hurt a bit now, I hadn't noticed it at first since when I perform I tend to feel all floaty and numb, but now pain penetrated my fog. I directed it into my voice and I cried out. 

-

For the wind has set me racing As my journey now begins To leave the path I’ll be retracing When I’m homeward bound again

Bind me not, to the pasture Chain me not to the town Set me free to find my calling And I’ll return to you somehow

-

The second, and last, instrumental break. Did I feel shaking around me? Was this working? Breathing was becoming harder, my skin stung. My shoulders, elbows, and knees ached too, this was a horrible position. The fluid level was rising. But I didn’t stop. I would finish this song. 

I was practically sobbing at this point but my song rang out. 

-

In the quiet  Mystic morning When the moon has gone to bed When adventure’s lost its meaning…

I’ll be homeward bound

Again

-

With the last few notes from my mouth, I gripped the ukulele so hard it almost cracked. 

Then the chamber jerked. I heard heavy breaths. Again. Was that a sniff?

Was he crying? Please. Gods of music. 

“Dammit,” he hissed and sniffed again, “Fine. I’m letting you go. Stupid bard.”

My brain was so frozen with elation I couldn’t actually believe it until it was happening. Not until I was physically forced back up the way I’d come. I slid out of the giant’s mouth and into shallow warm water. I took deep breaths of the clean air. And Yonah continued to retch as I got my bearings.

We were back in the kitchen, I was in the sink! Wait where was- The giant let out a horrible sound like a cat with a hairball and with a plop, my ukulele joined me in the bath. 

Now Yonah looked at me, eyes red and puffy, some tear streaks down his face. Though he had just violently thrown up. 

“Congratulations, Ophir the bard,” he spat, but he was grinning, “You have your story.”

I- I blinked in astonishment. He was right. I’d trekked through the woods, hung out with gnomes, got led to my near doom by elves and a witch, and sang so sorrowfully I made the evil man-eating giant cry and let me go. 

“Th-thank you-” I said, and I let him help me out of the sink and onto a towel to dry. 

“I should be thanking you!” he said. “Dessert and entertainment all in one!”

The fact that he still thought of me as food wasn’t reassuring but I didn’t think he was going to eat me again. In fact, Yonah’s entire demeanor had changed, he wasn’t so harsh looking, his voice was softer. 

“Would you like some tea? That helps after a near-death experience.”

He didn’t wait for my response but went to get the tea leaves and pot.   

“Hold on!” I said, but he didn’t stop making tea. “Did you even intend on killing me?”

He smiled as he put the pot on the stove and lit it with a snap of his fingers and a flash in his eyes. 

“No, not really, you’re not a thief.” Yonah laughed at some joke that only he got. 

“So why-” I mean he could have gotten me to sing before swallowing me whole. 

“Your fairy blood.” I looked confused, “I could smell it on you, sweet and magical. I wasn't going to pass up such a special treat.”

If there was a god who could erase horrifying knowledge from the mind I would have prayed to them. 

“Then- did my song do anything?” I choked like I was back in his stomach, unable to breathe. 

It was clear he saw the distress in my face, that I was not as good a bard as I thought I was. 

“My tears were real, little bard. I didn’t expect to be moved so much. Even if I had meant to kill you... you might have convinced me otherwise.”

The teapot whistled and he went to take care of it. I sat down. I was so lucky. Had the elves known he would spare me? Was that why they were laughing? This was some convoluted prank? And the witch, how were they in on it? Not that it mattered, their reasons and motivations weren’t important for my story. 

Then I remembered, “Your story!” I said, rather loudly. 

He stopped what he was doing, which was carefully using magic to pour a cup for me. “Yes?”

“I'm not dead! I can tell your story!” I stood back up, one hand on my hip the other pointing,  “That’s why you let me go isn’t it.”

“Sure,” he shrugged, “That definitely factored into it.”

Motherfucker! This also meant I wasn’t done with him. He was getting out a smaller place setting for me to sit at but I didn’t sit down, or drink the tea. 

“I need- I need to write it all down!” I said, “I have a good memory, but I was under duress before. I need to hear it again. And write it down."

The wizard smiled again, showing his teeth, but this time it did not scare me. 

“Then let’s take this upstairs, shall we?”

He held out his hand and without hesitation I sat on it. I was placed on his shoulder and he took me, and the tea, to the workshop. 

Amazingly he had a few blank notebooks that were human sized, and human sized pens. Nice ones too. And a human sized desk? The set up was perfect. 

“Since I have until either you or the king dies, I can do proper research. I’ll need names and places and dates! And your parents, if you know how they met, that would make a great prologue!” 

We worked well into the night.  My cup of tea got cold. 

[FIN] if you liked PLEASE REBLOG!

REBLOGS HELP SPREAD MY WORK! I also love knowing that people read my stories! My askbox and DMs are OPEN!!! let me know!!!

[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’]

FOR REFERENCE, HERE’S HOW THE SONG SOUNDS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VooU55wzSEc

[cabin-fever-bang]

Campfire Stories (Vol. 1)

Welcome to the Cabin! We proudly present the first edition of Campfire Stories: your one-stop shop for quality quarantine content. 

We’re going to do these regularly, with in-depth reviews of everything that’s been submitted as a prompt fill and additional recommendations from the masterlists of writers who get involved. 

If you’d like to be one of those writers, just follow us, comb through our prompts, and be sure to tag us when you post! It’s that easy. We welcome all fandoms and pairings. 

This batch of reviews was cooked up by @thoughtslikeaminefield​ (MJ), @there-must-be-a-lock​ (Lou), @itmighthavebeenintentional​ (Val), @fangirlxwritesx67​ (Viv), @cracksinthewalls​ (Bri), and @mskathywriteswords​ (Kathy), but we encourage you to pass along the random acts of writer-love and reblog with your own additions! 

Pull up a seat, toast a marshmallow or two, and settle in for some excellent reading material.

Choices We Make - @becs-bunker​ - GIF prompt submitted by  @dawnie1988​ 

Pairing: Demon Dean x Female Reader

Warnings: angst, brief threat & violence, smut, language, dub con-ish, unprotected sex, orgasm denial

Words: 1374

Everyone loves a Demon!Dean fic, and this is a good one! Lots of action, lots of angst, and some really hot, awful Dean.

Honestly it all felt like some surreal nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. You just wanted Dean back, your Dean.

These lines summarize both the Demon!Dean story arc and the narrator's frame of mind so well, pulling the reader right into the perspective of the story.

“I missed you, y’know?” Dean sighed, and the naive part of you wished he was telling the truth. That somehow, deep down, he still loved you.

This is heartbreaking because it's relatable, because the author does such a good job with the narrator's voice.

Dean licked his lips and there was a familiar hunger in his green eyes that made a whole different sensation rise in your body, and it wasn’t fear.

I'm not going to quote any more lines from the story because the author has written one hell of a twist, but trust me when I said, I gasped out loud reading it. The rest of this story is an absolute roller coaster, well worth the ride.

- Viv

Come For Me - @fangirlxwritesx67​ - image prompts created and submitted by @idabbleincrazy​

Pairing: Sam Winchester x female reader 

Warnings: smut, canon level violence, fingering, first time together

Words: 3100

First, let’s talk about this aesthetic. It’s soft and beautiful, but stark and needy. I love the quotes and photos, the way they flow together. Fantastic visual prompt. "Sam Winchester?” He spoke in a theatrical, mocking tone. “Ooooh, I’m frightened." This line made me chuckle. I love the idea of what’s ahead of us. The bad guy is built up in a hilarious way. Sam is presented through the heart and mind of the narrator, you. But thinking of Sam suffused you with a warm confidence. Not for one moment did you doubt him. This confidence is contagious and warming. Meanwhile, the anxiety over the vampire lurking somewhere else, waiting to taste you… it builds in a beautiful and believable way. There’s a rush of emotions as Sam rescues you, and he’s patient and kind, even while making jokes and being the Sam you know and love. Things progress, and there’s a beautiful and sweet (okay, and hot!) sex scene, with a first time between Sam and you. All in all, a really solid piece, with some story, some tension, some sex, and a whole lot of sweetness.

- Kathy

A New Day - @becs-bunker​ - image prompt created and submitted by @there-must-be-a-lock​

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: fluff

I’ve not reviewed an image prompt before, so let’s just jump in. The first word that jumps to my mind is light, but I love how suffused and golden the whole image is. Softer, safer, intimate. There are little pinpoints of light, rays of light, shining light, and the whole thing makes me feel...well...light. Sunrise and candlelight, new day, new beginnings. 

The images chosen for Sam, the angles and features we get, are such close, personal angles and shots, giving us this tender atmosphere and setting the tone for this story: personal. Everything you're about to read is intimate, personal, and private, in such a lovely, delicate way. 

The curtains in that first shot are so filmy and ethereal, and the whole story feels like it’s set in a kind of golden-hazed forest. And, let’s face it, any sort of vacation for a Winchester is a kind of fairy tale. 

I’ve managed to stay pretty much above the brow, so Imma have to dip down for a minute and just drool over Sam’s trapezius muscles. Oh. MY. GAWD.

Golden, glorious, graceful, and just a touch of gooey. Good, good, good.

So, right off the bat, let me tell you that this story is everything I’ve ever wanted for Sam, like everything the show and Chuck and the universe has ever denied him. He’s rested, he’s comforted, he’s bathed in glow (the sun, the reader’s love, all that jazz, you know?).

And then it goes and hits all my camping weaknesses. I was literally just telling someone how I’m missing my camp more than ever now. It’s been eight years since I’ve been, and this story brings back all those feelings of serenity and calm, voluntary isolation with people you more or less chose, because camp was and is my forever real home.

I know that seems a little rambly and off-topic, but the thing is, that’s what this story is for me. They aren’t at the bunker, their “home,” but they’re still home all the same, because (and, yes, you can shoot me for this) home is where your heart is, so this wonderful little cabin in the woods is home, whether they’ve been there together once or a hundred times because Sam.

And then that bit of sugar tossed in at the end...Oh, this story was good for my soul. “Warm mug of coffee on a chill morning, under a blanket” kind of good for my soul. 

It’s one of those where I would love to have so much more of these two, of this warmth between them, but I also am perfectly content to know them just in this one perfect moment forever, before the day starts, when everything is still in the “it’s about to happen and it will be great” stages. The beginning of a great new day.

Thank you. I needed this story, now more than ever.

- Val

Crash  - @myinconnelly1​ - requested by @adoptdontshoppets​ for @idreamofplaid​ aesthetic

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: smut, fluff

Words: 810

The first thing that draws my eye in the aesthetic is the linked fingers. I love pinky links (I’m sure there’s a less cutesy way to say it, but I like it; sue me). They’re sweet, and really personal. You’ve got super tough Dean Winchester who isn’t embarrassed or afraid of intimate, goofy gestures. In fact, I feel like that would one hundred percent be Dean in a relationship: Dean is a giant ball of goofy, intimate gestures. 

I love the choices of relaxed, bearded Dean/Jensen paired with the casual, cool color palette immediately set me at ease. This isn’t going to be a terrifying, angsty ordeal. This is going to be calm, soothing, sensual. 

And the roses, the sand, the surf, the candlelight, the pokey palm tree fronds...I can hear, smell, feel every bit of these images. The golden-pink wine...ugh. This whole experience is a trip to paradise.

I love how all five senses are emphasized and made equally important. It gives us so much more connection to the moment, makes it that much more intimate. The constant crashing of the waves in the background; the bittersweet chocolate; the cozy, homey image of the baking-wrecked kitchen followed by the much more erotic, candelit bedroom; and then the scent of the oil mixed with the warmth and strength of Dean’s touch.

I also love the level of comfort in the story. We have the cookies, a hard-core comfort staple. We have the warm, lazy beach setting. And the easiness these two have together: that’s the dream, my friend. I love how they have no trouble at all communicating what they want and need, how they are comfortable enough to be messy and cute and flirty and sexy, one right after the other. 

And the description is so thorough, I have no trouble at all imagining myself there, in that wonderful, relaxing moment.

This story is relaxing, decadent, soothing, and fun all at once. I am a huge fan of the ending, as well. I was smiling through the whole story, but at the end, I literally laughed aloud. And now I think I’m going to have to excuse myself to go find some chocolate chip cookies. This story gave me a couple of cravings, and as Dean Winchester is in short supply in the real world, cookies are the one I can satisfy right now.

This story is, dare I say it, such a sweet escape. 

- Val

No Sugar Added - @myinconnelly1​ - requested by @fangirlxwritesx67​ - “I’d like to see Steve Rogers from MARVEL sharing Depression-era coping tips. Maybe he vlogs how to make apple-less apple pie.” 

No pairing

Warnings: Spoilers for Infinity Wars + Endgame, mention of mental health issues

Words: 446

This was my prompt for the Cabin, and I loved what this author did with the story! A little bit of fluffy cheer.

“Hello, I’m Steve Rogers.  As many of you know, I’m also Captain America, and I was alive during another time of hard living conditions.” 

Right now, a lot of things in the world seem scary and unsettling. It's one of those times when we turn for comfort to the lessons of the past, to the wisdom of generations, and to heroes. This author does a great job with Captain America, Steve Rogers. His cooking lesson is exactly the sort of inspiring, instructional video I would love to see.

“What is that smell?”  Natasha asked as she looked behind her to see Steve walking into the office with the plate.

Because it was never about pie, apple or otherwise. It was always about comfort. Our favorite foods help with that, and so does Captain America, especially written this well.

There are some fun tidbits in this story, including a peek of history and an actual recipe!

- Viv

Communion - @thoughtslikeaminefield​ - requested by @mskathywriteswords​​ “Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty”

Pairing: Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Warnings: marijuana use, high sex, het sex, fluffy smut

Words: 1002

How do I love this? Let me count the motherfucking ways. 

First of all, the way this sucks you into the characters’ headspace is beautiful and subtle and masterfully done. It’s in the sentence structure and the flow of the words; there’s no need to describe their inner state, because it’s written into the movement of the sentences and the choice of words. She doesn’t have to say that they’re high, because you can fucking feel it in phrases like “It’s sending me off somewhere…” or “I shiver at the thoughts careening through my mind.”

Second, this is molten hot, but (as with the best smut) it’s not just some rote story of “then he was hard and we banged and it was great.” The sexy bits are unique; this isn’t the same smut you’ve read a thousand times before. It’s got its own personality and tone and voice that very much belong to this particular story. 

Also? Filth with feelings! My favorite genre! It’s deeply emotional. I am all for smut that is both dirty and tender. This is like a masterclass on how to walk that line. 

It’s such a simple premise that becomes so much more; this has things to say about Dean, about his personality, about this relationship. This takes a very specific moment and uses it as a framework for something big and meaningful. This, for example: 

When Dean has to be big, he uses his whole self. His body takes up space and his mere presence -- he can make the darkest of demons shudder with his presence alone.

But Dean’s natural state is this -- nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm.

Yuuuup.

Also: 

His hands -- the same hands I’ve seen thrust a blade into the guts of angels and demons -- are tender, fingertips light but persistent as they slip under my tank top and splay over my belly.

It’s so intimate. This is why we read fanfic, right? To feel like we’re close to these characters that we love so much, to delve into the sides of them that we don’t get to see much in canon… this fic feels like something personal and private that we’ve been lucky enough to be let in on. 

- Lou

Deeper Than Deep Conditioner - @fangirlxwritesx67​ - requested by @awesomesusiebstuff​ “The two Sam’s (our Sam and AU Sam) maintaining their hair care routines while quarantined.”

It’s one of those days when I’m feeling too fragile for this world. What’s the best remedy to knock some sunlight into my dark mood? Today, it’s fic -- and one that makes me giggle is a bonus.

This little gem is filled with funny one-liners and side-eye moments to make you laugh out loud:

Dean dreamed of driving away, of bikini beauties on the beaches of Rio. Sam dreamed of scarves and what it would be like to have no bigger worries in the world than his hair.

The look Dean gave him would’ve curdled milk, if there was any, which there wasn’t, because Dean took his coffee black, like a man.

A touch of realism in this bizarro situation got a chuckle, too:

“Sorry, sweethearts,” alt!Dean said, “Flights are all cancelled. A virus or something.”

When Viv named the alternates Deano and Sami, I gave in and embraced the madness. I was delighted with Deano; that’s my own nickname for Dean in my head. But Sami, a most pretentious twist on Sammy? A master stroke. I was tickled.

I was fully on board with enjoying this romp through the bizarro world, but then I was taken by surprise. This little moment, a hint that Sam has been trying to make the best of their circumstances, touched me: 

“Is this really how you live?” said Sami, with a dismissive glance at his paper napkin.

“Look,” Sam answered. “I’ve done my best. It’s taken a lot to get us this far.”

I was prepared for that to be the exception to the rule -- a moment of sincerity amongst a sea of lighthearted fun. And there was plenty of fun ahead of me. The jokes come at you hard and fast in this story! But I realized the mood was steadily changing, and suddenly, I was immersed in sincerity and maybe a little sadness:

...somewhere out there, was a universe where he pampered himself...

...maybe there was a place where he could enjoy something as simple as a deep condition...

...something Sam had wanted to watch but never had time for...

...for the first time in a long time, he caught himself laughing...

I thought maybe that was it. A few moments of Sam learning to appreciate what Sami (I was still laughing at that) had to offer, instead of simply mocking his manbun and scarf (I don’t think I could ever stop mocking that, but Sam’s a better person than I am).

But no. It didn’t end there, and I still wasn’t ready. Before I knew it, I was steeped in Sam’s melancholy, his yearning for a life kinder and gentler than what he’d been given. I was truly heartbroken for him in that moment.

I won’t spoil the rest, but by the time I got to the ending, I was grateful for the funny beginning that softened the landing. I expected a comedy, but what I got really was deeper than deep conditioner.

- Bri

Dear Mr. Fantasy - @itmighthavebeenintentional​ - image prompt submitted @thoughtslikeaminefield​

Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst. 

Words: 2157

I found the image prompt in my Tumblr feed and immediately started plotting ideas that I cannot write bc I have too many fucking WIPs so imagine my excite when one of my all-time favorite fic writers (and one of my very best friends) filled the prompt as a surprise for me!

Val tells stories with a depth and humor like no one else I’ve ever read. Her natural wit and smarts shine through her fictional words as well, and I love seeing glimpses of her in her work.

In one universe, someone neglected Baby (couldn’t have been Dean, had to’ve been Sam) to the point where she pulls slightly to the left. Dean spends the morning after that dream with a muscle tick in his cheek and a suspicious, side-eyed glare for Sam that he never bothers to explain.

Dear Mr. Fantasy is bittersweet. It is soft and rich and full of color — all the senses are here. It’s a sledgehammer of realism wrapped in velvet. And it’s so very Dean.

At forty-eight years old (none of that years young bullshit, either; he’s old, and he’s goddamn earned it)

In the midst of reading canon Dean dreaming of and admiring and protecting his favorite of his AU-selves and that version’s life, we are treated to what it would be like if he was allowed a normal life. Our devoted, brave, warm, and loving hunter as a common mechanic would be just as brave and loyal, no?

“Pretty sure she’s settled on ya, so just make sure you’re worth it.” 

So that’s what Dean did. 

But our Dean — the Real Dean as Chuck says — can’t quite let his guard down even in his dreams of another world, even if that other world is safe as houses. He’s still aware of just how unreal this reality is.

Splashes of indigo and orange paint the horizon, framing her approach in a wash of colors blending into shadows that hold no danger.

Then, he lets himself mingle with that dream, if only for a few moments and it’s bliss.

Older Dean and worn-out, monster-plagued Dean sigh together, content down to their bones. This life is it for both of them. She is it. One Dean still can’t believe his amazing luck after all these years, and the other aches at the simple, total happiness he feels honored to witness.

I love you, she whispers, and he allows himself to believe for one moment that she’s talking directly to him.

I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but I will say that you need some tissues. I cried through 90% of this story, from joy and from heartache. 

Because that’s what Valerie does, breaks your heart and makes you smile, and it is so fucking good.

- MJ

Synesthesia - @there-must-be-a-lock - request by @wendibird​ “SPN, Sastiel, due to all the Angelic Grace Sam has been exposed to over time, he starts resonating with Castiel’s. Especially if Cas’ emotions are running high.”

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Castiel

Warnings: none!

Words: 750

First, I love the song that enhanced this idea for Lou. It lends a tenderness and whimsy to the plot that isn’t inherent. 

Second, Lou’s words are like poetry and watercolor doing a dance of their own making — GORGEOUS phrasing and rhythm.

Cas whirls around, and Sam is hypnotized by the bright blue in his eyes, wide and concerned in a way that makes Sam feel like he’s being lit up from the inside. There’s a floodlight in his chest. 

And, y’all, I don’t even go here, but I swooned SO HARD.

It’s an effort to focus, but when he meets Cas’s eyes, Cas smiles. Sam sees a shower of sparks like the last fizzle of a firework.  

Sam hears it as a flutter of spring green like a new leaf. 

And Lou’s characterization is always spot on, right? But like Dean isn’t even in the scene, yet here we are.

Don’t let the words fool you; there’s a very angry rainbow happening in his head most of the time.

And did I mention the ARTWORK that is this woman’s WORDS?

There are stars under their feet, entire galaxies spinning out around them, dancing spirals of kaleidoscopic green and gold melting into whorls of brilliant blue.

Anyway, please go read. You’ll be flying high for hours afterward. xox

- MJ

Salvation - @dontshootmespence�� - image created and submitted by @idabbleincrazy​

Pairings: Sam Winchester x reader

Warnings: angst, torture, gore, smut 

Words: 1,401

The aesthetics by this artist inspire stories just because they are so well done. This one was a good balance of handsome Sam and some nice suggestive pics along with the phrases that helped shape the action of the story.

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left.

These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author  gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar.

"You're Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood."

It's easy to forget, sometimes, all the things that Sam has been and done, how fearsome of a hunter he is. This story reminds us with razor sharp precision.

When he meets her gaze, he finds the peace he's craved for so long.

The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose?

This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam!

"You're safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me." 

Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It's no wonder he's fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action, some sweet hotness, and such a good Sam!

- Viv

The Second Hand Unwinds - @mskathywriteswords​ - image prompt created and submitted by @there-must-be-a-lock​ 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: hurt, comfort, angst

I had a vibe in mind when I created this aesthetic but this went so far beyond anything I could’ve imagined. It absolutely nailed that nostalgic, wistful, antique-photo-album feel, and then it managed to knife me in the fucking gut in a few ways, none of which I saw coming. 

The JOY in the first part of this is absolutely tangible. It’s so romantic and sweet in a very dreamy way that feels exactly like first love. I love the scattered, disjointed imagery around the flowers in the first part, like flashes of memories coming at you all at once, and then when it settles into the narrative it manages to hold onto that dreamy feeling while still moving neatly through the plot. 

This moment was about us, and I wanted to live in it forever. You never gave me reason to cover my body, not that night or ever.

Goddamn right. Ugh, precious and beautiful. And then this:

After so much undiluted time together, I had no idea how to sleep alone. I felt raw waking up by myself, not being able to feel your stubble tickling my skin. 

There’s something about that last line that just grabbed my heart and tugged it in a wonderful way. It’s ACCURATE, first of all; this is one of those super-specific feelings that is hard to describe concisely. I haven’t really thought about that feeling in a while, but that little sentence just cut through so many years and brought me right back in a deep and visceral way. 

You took pride in doing all the things that were never done for you, you’d told me.

Ouch. It’s little touches like this that make this ring true to character even though it’s a very different Dean than we see in canon.

And then that ENDING. 

How do you contain a bomb once it’s been set on fire with grief?

Fuck, dude. Everything about that ending was so painful. I love that she left it raw and messy and not like a simple “welcome back!” kinda moment. 

This was just gorgeously done. Can not recommend it enough. 

Fort - @there-must-be-a-lock​ - prompt by @mskathywriteswords​​ “Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty.” 

Pairing: J2 x reader

Warnings: blowjobs and weed. 

Words: ~2150

This piece of deliciousness opens with Jensen walking out of the bathroom with a towel on his hips; do I need to say more? I don’t, but I will. After some beautiful description of the blanket fort, we get treated to Jared in nothing but pajama pants. The descriptions in this piece are vivid and full. the way Jared’s hand looks between Jensen’s muscled shoulderblades, thumb stroking back and forth between patches of gold and red light, makes me want to capture the moment and hold onto it. I can see that image in my mind, picture the two of them together, and that’s what makes excellent writing for me. The warnings attached to this piece are fully applicable; the story is very cute and sweet, there’s weed, and there’s Jared and a wicked oral fixation, which in the case of this one-shot means dear Reader, that’s you, get to witness a searing blowjob from one J to another. The way these three interact makes my heart swell, and there’s something about watching the dynamic change between them that really hammers home just how functional they are together. Dive in to this universe, Everything. There are no regrets to be had, maybe only that you waited so long to get wet.

- Kathy

The Gazelle - @thoughtslikeaminefield​ - requested by Anonymous “I’d really love some more Dean x Benny fanfiction, AU, aligned with canon timeline, whatever. I think they deserved a chance and Benny got killed off before it could even be explored :(”

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x AU Benny Lafitte x unnamed female character

Warnings: power exchange, mmf threesome implied, Denny apparent, nudity

Words: 1000

Let me start with a caveat: I’m in the bag for pretty much any Dean x Benny fic, pretty much any Dean x Benny x person #3 fic, and absolutely any MJ fic. So you could stop reading this review right now and just go read the fic, if you want; in fact, I sort of recommend it, because it’s better than anything I could have to say about it. But if you want to stick around, I promise to be a little more coherent than ZOMGGGG PERFECT HOT SEXY TIMES DENNY LOVE GORGEOUS MORE PLZ!  

Before we even get to the words, we’ve got a gorgeous graphic. Black and white beautiful boys, staring you down with those “I’m gonna fuck you so good” eyes, paired with a sweetly sexy woman tinted with a soft pink; she looks carefree, open to have some fun, and you can imagine her telling them to bring it on. MJ’s graphics are always great, setting the perfect mood for her fics, and this is no exception.

And right from the jump:

Dean and me — we share a lot of things.

We share good music and good drink. Tonight, we’re sharing a good woman.

Oh, this is in Benny’s voice?! Okay okay okay, cool cool cool, I can handle this…

...Dean purrs like a jungle cat as he hovers behind her, hands in her hair, twisting and twirling the silky tresses…

...Dean sets the pace and is the anchor, always. He keeps everything stable and grounded…

And now I’ve realized that I’m going to be seeing Dean through Benny’s eyes -- and no, not cool, can’t handle this -- but I’m definitely not stopping.

I like to mix things up, though, and he lets me.

MJ is a brilliant writer with many talents, but I think her specialty, regardless of what characters she’s writing with, is brilliantly salacious smut that’s steeped in emotion. She can’t help it. Her fucks come with feels, every single time, and I hope it never changes. 

This piece is certainly no exception. Dean and Benny are circling their prey, this unnamed woman, utilizing their individual strengths -- Dean’s encouraging, I’m demanding -- and the sexual tension is building with soft touches and lingering kisses. As the scene is progressing, Benny’s inner monologue is sprinkled with thoughts about Dean:

Times we don’t have a subject, Dean’s focus is on me. I don’t argue and I do not complain. Dean knows what to do with every inch of that long, lean body of his. He knows how to cage a person in, make them feel safe, wanted, fucking needed.

She’s handily building emotion and a personal backstory without an exposition dump, without taking focus away from the action for too long:

His hands move slowly, seemingly random, but I know how focused he is on her and the moment. Giving and seeking pleasure are vital things to Dean and he takes the acts to heart.

I’m immersed in the now of this scene but I also understand the depth of their feelings for one another, their history and dedication to each other, and how they work together to bring another partner into their orbit. MJ makes it look easy, when it’s anything but. 

And then she gifts us with this perfection and I’ve melted into a puddle of emotionally aroused goo:

“You promise to love, honor, and cherish ‘til the morning light, Dean?”

That is a vow of devotion to a one-night stand. What?! How?! Does her brain come up with this?

From there, the scene continues, the action escalating, supported by a framework of realism and heart. Her Dean feels familiar and in character, even though we’ve never seen him in this particular situation. And Benny, we hardly knew ye, but she brings him to life alongside Dean and I buy their relationship completely. I buy all of this, and now I’m invested.

And then… 

“Do it, then,” she says, challenging. “Wreck me.”

My breath catches, my heart starts to race -- yes, here we go! -- a few more sentences, one last connection between Dean and Benny, and then --

Oh, you are evil, MJ. You are so perfectly evil and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

- Bri

[mipadremadara]

if you don't mind me asking a lot about the fic thing, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8 and 9 (LMAO. all the list😂😂😂) for "Summer Nights"?? I REALLY NEED TO CAUGHT UP!!!! (You obviously can answer telling things about chapters I haven't read, btw, it's okay, haha). And if it's too much, you can answer just a few, hahaha. I'm just really curious because I reallyyyyy love the fic. ILY💖💖

Ahh thank you so much for this ask!!! Every time I get an ask from you my face immediately lights up ahaha. I'm so glad you like the fic??? Ahhhh! Ily too!! I hope you're having a nice day/night! I’ll only do Chapter 1 and 2 for now as to not spoil much! (I’m not sure which chapter you finished on haha.)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I really really really like stories that just flow. That literally drift. I have no idea how to describe it, but I also love poetry and I thought by kind of incorporating that and a sort of movie vibe to it it'd capture people's hearts the way it haunts mine at night hahaha. 

 2: What scene did you first put down?

It must be the scene where Naruto is sitting outside the porch and looking at the night sky. The title is Summer Nights, after all! It's supposed to hint at the fact that Naruto and Sasuke share the most tender moments at night.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

There's so many that I like tbh!! But here are some of my favorite ones without spoiling too much!!

Chapter 1:

The man knew Sasuke would get rid of every photographic memory of his past and there would be no remaining snapshots of his lifetime left. Behind the everyday smiles and poking around the playgrounds, fairgrounds, Sasuke never dwelled on the topics that resurfaced even the slightest of human, perhaps weak emotions. And so was the shameless irony, pouring out, like vomit. 

I wanted to capture the sense of lingering trauma that still haunts Sasuke everyday. No matter how life seemed to come to a halt, or how things seemed to finally settle down, the pain will always prevail. And in a way, Naruto is the same, even if he masks it well. I feel like this was never truly explained so I wanted to show that they are still hurting; the wounds that were meant to heal only left bitter scars in the end.  

Writing from Sasuke’s POV is always very emotion-centered. I’d imagine Sasuke, as shown in the fic, is a little more open, especially around Naruto. He let his walls down, although not by choice. He had to prove to Konoha he changed, but around Naruto, he can truly be himself.

The Uchiha was all tall, strong arms and long fingers. He fondled them for a passing minute, pressing the raven’s palms against his own. After the War, they grew quite intimate, and really, everyone talked about it. He always looked forward to touching Sasuke, even if it was small, feathery nudges - like holding hands or giving each other small hugs. It reminded him how truly privileged he was to be around him. He savoured those bosom jiffies, and that night was no different.

I really like the fact that their relationship isn’t driven by lust, but more so an understanding. There’s a mutual connection here; two boys going through absolute Hell and finally close to settling down after a rough battle against the odds. No one knows Sasuke the way Naruto does and vice versa, I think it’s quite beautiful actually! Sasuke allowing himself to become intimate again by taking these baby steps, such as touching hands and small hugs, it’s very healing for the both of them! 

They stood still in that bleached moment. The love, the joy; it was burning passionately, bringing nothing but bloom to the cheek; showing no reruns. The smile, he considered a gift.

I just really love this bit. Reading it always makes me so soft haha. I think it sums up their whole relationship perfectly. 

Chapter 2:

Sakura made him feel like an utter imbecile. Like a love-struck damsel in distress.

Here, what Sakura really sees isn’t Naruto, but herself. She knows what it’s like to chase after Sasuke, and as much as she loves the two of them, she doesn’t want Naruto to get hurt. I just think this line was really cool haha. 

People often told Sasuke how he blended into the background while Naruto stood out from the crowd when they were together. Maybe that was why everyone deemed him worthy of being the next in line. They were polar opposites; like warm and cold. Fire and water. They just didn't fit. Supposed everyone told them similar scenarios, but they did not care much about the public and its predetermined ideas of what was right and what wasn't. It was arguably, the most bizarre finger-pointing he had the displeasure of witnessing. But he guessed Naruto loved the attention.

I really like this line, and not just because of the imagery used here, but because it shows how others see Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship. And also, that short dismissive ending paragraph I found to be super effective. 

The other girl, Hinata, made an attempt to lean forward to catch Naruto’s gaze. It was what made everyone lean towards her, too, no less in a charming way that she perhaps knowingly radiated. It caused Ino to take a step back, and Sasuke must’ve stood there for a few moments, listening to the soft mumbling of her lips. They began to ask Naruto questions in low, hushed, thrilling voices as if not to let Sasuke know any of it. He knew the girl had lost her brother during the War (at which he had expressed his deepest sympathy), but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that maybe Naruto was being deceived by her shy persona.

I loved describing Hinata, but not for the reasons you might think. No one aside from Naruto has been described in such detail, but Hinata. It’s to show that Sasuke, since it’s from his POV, considers her to be a competition. He knows she knows that she can easily woo people to do her bidding, and considering her status, Naruto would certainly be charmed. 

Hinata’s own voice held a timid passion behind it; a pleasant, mellow tenor that was very subtle, especially in the way her every uttered word suggested something greater than her face might have unveiled. Her face - on the other hand - was lovely. Caring eyes and a caring mouth conveying nothing but a feeling of fresh honey and lavender. Her hands looked smooth to the touch when she grazed them against Naruto’s rather tacky ones; as if she had never worked a day in her life. He could tell Naruto enjoyed looking at her.

Again, Sasuke knows this persona that Hinata created was quite deceiving and had Naruto wrapped around her finger. That is what he thinks, and as usual, assumes things because Naruto and Hinata are close. I also really like her description here, it radiates such soft vibes haha. 

He marveled in the way his laugh carried throughout the day, forcing even the biggest assholes in the universe to crack a smile.

I really like this line because Sasuke is talking about himself here; that Naruto is always successful at making him smile. 

The attachment to the outside world and the growth of his dubious mind was what made Sasuke overthink certain situations. The way it tangled, twisted, and knotted. He wanted to fondle Naruto's hands, listen to his heartbeat as his eyes grew heavy.

Agape; the sign of unconditional love. For his one and only.

I mean? These lines absolutely slap I think haha. 

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I didn’t want to add too many so I just included a couple!

Chapter 1:

“You know, if you continue to frown like that, you’ll have lots of wrinkles in the future.”

I just love Sasuke’s attempt at comforting Naruto haha. 

Chapter 2:

“Don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining, Sasuke.”

I just,, love this line so much. It always cracks me up hahaha. And of course, it’s Kakashi’s line. 

5: What part was hardest to write? 

Honestly? Probably the scene where they spar in the third chapter, as well as Gaara and Naruto's reunion! I loved writing it, but having to balance so much dialogue and narration was challenging.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

What makes it special, well, it's my first fanfic! I tried writing one for so long, about 4 years! And being able to finally write something and share it with others feels amazing and so relieving after so long. 

 7: Where did the title come from?

The title came from this song called Summer Nights by Siames! I think it suits Naruto and Sasuke perfectly! It's such a nice song, it always makes me cry when I listen to it haha.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Many, if not all interactions are based on me and my girlfriend's conversations! There are so many and she always points it out to me after reading the newest chapter.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

There was, actually! At first I wanted to write an AU canonverse version of the Akatsuki, where Naruto is exiled from the village and reunites with Sasuke. Because in this house we love evil Naruto and Kurama. But then I wanted to write something soft, something tender yknow? 

Again, thank you so much for asking!!! <3 

[theotherboywhonevergrewup]

My Top Songs of 2019

It’s that time of the year again when I take a look back at all the great music that was released throughout the year and choose my top 10.  Quick disclaimer as usual: These are not what I think are the best songs of the year.  They’re not even my favorite songs of the year.  They’re simply the top 10 songs that have defined my year.  (See the end if you’re interested in the rules of the selection of this top 10; also, most of this was written in 2019 but some was written in 2020).

10. “Think About Us” - Little Mix featuring Ty Dolla $ign

“When you're dancin' in the club And the nights are getting hard Do you think about us?”

Everyone knows that I have a weakness for girl groups.  UK’s Little Mix isn’t exactly my favorite, but admire how strongly they’ve stuck together as a group.  Their chemistry is undeniable, both as people and as vocalists.  To me, “Think About Us” was the standout track from last year’s LM5, and the addition of Ty Dolla $ign was the little shove it needed to be great.  The girls shine with their vocal prowess both on their solos and together on the chorus, and Ty$’s verse splits the track nicely.  The accompanying video is mesmerizing.  Each of the girls look absolutely stunning, and they have individual sets representing the different parts of a relationship, with Perrie as the butterflies-in-my-stomach beginning and Jade as the icy, cold end.  The lyrics are quite vague, but I think that’s the intention.  It’s applicable to any stage of a relationship; it could be a love song or a break-up song.  With it’s fun beat, it’s hard to pick if you want to dance to it, belt it out, or try to do both, but it’s definitely been an infectious part of 2019!

9. “Lonely for You” - Armin van Buuren featuring Bonnie McKee

“No, you're never gonna see me cry I already got a brand new life Don't you know I'm moving on And everyday I'm stronger? I don't even know you're gone”

The Netherlands’ Armin van Buuren has a recipe to get trance music to pull at your heart, and one piece that makes this apparent is “Lonely for You.”  With the assist from US’s pop hit writer Bonnie McKee, this track is different yet familiar, a haunting disconnect to match the mixed feelings of the lyrics.  From light synths to disco-esque drums to pure piano, Van Buuren’s track pushes and pulls the same way the tumultuous narrator’s lyrics go back and forth, with McKee’s vocals surfing on the top.  The music video has a couple choreography emphasizing the push-and-pull theme, and McKee looks fantastic as usual.  Van Buuren’s Balance is full of more emotionally-rich tracks for both happy and sad times, many of which utilize beautiful piano to highlight amazing vocals.  “Lonely for You” is an altogether addictive track that was perfect for all the lonely nights of 2019.

8. “Antidote” - Mr Hudson

“You of all people After all we've been through Started out an angel And now you get away with murder”

As a huge fan of the UK’s Mr Hudson, I waited basically a decade for his sophomore album, and it did not disappoint.  While When the Machine Stops features several tearjerking songs, “Antidote” is on the next level.  The song takes the subject of betrayal and perfectly captures how trust can die.  The genius is in its simplicity.  Not a single instrument starts until the entire first verse is complete, letting the lyrics speak for themselves.  Even when the instruments do come in, it’s just soft percussion and synths.  As much as I love vocal runs and ad-libs galore, the straightforward melody had me humming this song for much of 2019.

7. “Me & You” - EXID

“Oh 야야야 더 이상 우리라는 말 하지 마마마 안 봐도 뻔하잖아 야임 마마마 지금 날 어디서 속이려 들어 그건 네 엄마마마 한테나 가서해 baby I don't care”

As I mentioned in last year’s post, 2018 was the year I fell in love with K-Pop, mostly due to Blackpink at the time.  As much as I love Blackpink (and got to see them live this year!), their limited discography didn’t leave much to be loved.  Enter EXID.  This group is stacked: arguably South Korea’s best female rapper in the game LE, one of the best vocalists Solji, and the girl who is absolutely beautiful, sexy, cute, and smart all at the same time Hani (who may or may not be my ultimate bias, sorry Rosé).  Their previous single “I Love You” missed my 2018 list because it was released so late in the year, but it turned out to be my most played song on Spotify this year.  In fact, several of their songs were on that list.  Like many of their previous singles, “Me & You” is an infectious dance track utilizing each member where they excel: Hani with her soft, sultry vocals, a splash of LE’s sick flows to split up the song, Hyelin’s powerhouse vocals to bring up the first chorus, Solji’s even more powerful vocals to take the song to its climax, and Jeonghwa on the dance break (low key kinda sounds like she’s singing “Baby Shark” but that’s a jam too I guess).  The duality of the track is what makes it stand out, with the pretty vocals and simple verses largely contrasting from the deep and dirtier synths of the dance break.  The video plays with this duality by featuring EXID as brides in white versus clubbing in neon.  The rest of the WE mini album isn’t quite as dance-y but is fun to vibe to nonetheless.  The group unfortunately may be over, since Hani and Jeonghwa are leaving their record label, but they’re at least sticking together for their activities in Japan for now.  So many more K-Pop hits were released this year, some of my favorites being Mamamoo’s “Gogobebe,” SEVENTEEN’s “HIT,” Super Junior D&E’s “Danger,” Park Bom’s “Spring,” KARD’s “Dumb Litty,” NCT 127′s “Highway to Heaven”, NCT Dream’s “Boom”, Ong Seongwu’s “Heart Sign,” and another release to be mentioned later on this list.

6. “Heartbreak” - Hunter Hayes

“Another, ‘Almost perfect’ Didn't work, but totally worth it Better to have loved and lost my mind Than lose the nerve to even try”

I remember watching the 2013 Grammy’s and watching Hunter Hayes lose all three of his nominations, at that point becoming the “Leonardo DiCaprio never wins an Oscar” meme to me and my friends.  He went on to lose two more nominations, but honestly, I always liked his music (and Grammy nominations are no small feat in the first place!).  While 2017 was technically the year I had my first date and 2018 was the year I had my first girlfriend, 2019 was the year that I really put myself out there and dated the most.  And yes, there was a lot of awkwardness and stupidity and mostly me messing up, but that’s just a part of life.  And “Heartbreak” perfectly captures all those feelings.  From the guitar to the bit of twang to the drums, this song is unabashedly fun country, and the optimistic lyrics always made me feel better.  It’s like a c’est la vie Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” before he found the girl. The accompanying video is also fun with a groundhog day theme as he tries to win over a girl.  The album as a whole is a fun listen, with “Dear God” being the other Wild Blue (Part I) standout to me.  Here’s hoping Part II comes out with some vibes in 2020!

5. “Tempo” - Lizzo featuring Missy Elliott

“He look like he could gain a little weight Lick the icing off, put the rest in your face”

Lizzo exploded this year, and I’m not mad about it.  She has confidence and charisma galore, and her resulting music is mad bouncy, earning her several Grammy nominations for next year, including Best New Artist.  Her songs like most of Cuz I Love You can be quite loud and in-your-face, which is fine, just not exactly my style.  However, get her on this more subdued R&B beat and throw in a Missy Elliott feature, I’m in.  This will make any upbeat R&B lover dance, and the music video is the kind of hot and fun you would expect (with a cowboy hat you may not expect).  Missy also made an imprint this year with Iconology which is her first group release since 2005′s The Cookbook.  I’ve always been a fan of her work, and this is a perfect feature for her.

4. “NONE of this has been about you” - Spencer Sutherland

“I'm afraid that you would hate me if you knew, That I've become insensitive, It's true, But even if you do”

Spencer Sutherland’s “NONE of this has been about you” off his debut EP of the same name has a lot of elements about it that I would personally want in a song of my own.  It starts off with a very simple piano and vocals with a tinge of soul.  As he continues to sing, he puts more soul and emotion into his voice, and splashes of harmonies start to come in.  A couple short riffs later and just a second before the drop.  Although, it’s not a dance drop.  A choir drops in for the chorus with some drums to announce that, in fact, none of this has been about you.  The song eventually escalates to Sutherland’s soaring ad-libs over the choir.  Beyond the musical stylings, I enjoy the message of this song.  Sure, the narrator is telling someone, possibly his lover, that his struggles are personal and not something she or he should worry about, but I also like to take it as a reminder not to always worry about others or what they are thinking.  For example, 2019 was the first full year I had an ex, and a lot of that time, I was worried about posting on social media because maybe she’ll think this or that is about her.  Honestly, I don’t recall ever “subtweeting” about her.  We’re good.  Any breakup song or black and white photo I post has nothing to do with her.  So this song is a nice reminder to keep it pushing and stay in your own lanes.  The remaining songs on Sutherland’s EP were all also on repeat throughout the year.  The man’s just got a solid voice, and I’m glad he’s continuing a soulful pop sound that is rarer than before.

3. “Beautiful goodbye” - Chen

“다시 시간을 되돌려 처음 만난다면 가로등 옆에 서 있지 말아요 미소 짓지도 왼손으로 머릴 넘기지 마요 그래야 내가 그대를 지나칠 테니까”

Now, when it comes to a piano and vocals, nothing dominated my year more than Chen, especially his debut solo single “Beautiful goodbye.”  I won’t repeat all the reasons why I love his voice so much (see last year’s post), but long story short, he’s my favorite male vocalist right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I love EXO and the energy they bring to their songs, but a full EP of just Chen really lets the listener feel his artistry, pulling on heartstrings every which way.  In this song, the narrator is recognizing that his relationship is dead but proposing that they can hold onto it just for a bit longer until they peacefully part in spring.  There’s a respect to their relationship and what it has done for them that they can take with them as separate people before they part ways.  Chen’s voice takes the listener on an adventure, starting soft and simple then escalating and crescendoing to unveil the hardened pain in his voice.  It’s not a sudden angry breakup, it’s more subtle and more somber.  In the end, his soft vibrato and the final notes of the piano leave the listener in just as an uncertain position as the narrator; is it better to hope it stays winter forever or hope for spring to come?  While I also wanted some upbeat songs from Chen, his April, and a flower EP followed by Dear my dear is chockfull of beautiful and emotional ballads.

2. “Never-ending Summer” - Cyn

“What if we don't ever have to say goodbye? I wanna keep living like we'll never die If you're mad then I'm mad too You're crying, I'm sad too I'll watch your back for you, watch mine”

Newcomer Cyn’s “Never-ending Summer” is, to me, an experience.  It took me a while to appreciate its simplicity, but then it became so addictive that it itself became never-ending.  The guitar or synth (or whatever that instrument is) plays on loop to emphasize the never-ending nature of the song and gives a dreamy vibe that’s somehow both modern and reminiscent of the 70s.  Cyn’s simple vocals evoke a carefree feeling reminiscent of running on the beach and all the accompanying imagery with her photoshoot and lyric video.  It makes sense that Cyn is part of Katy Perry’s record label Unsub Records, as this song feels somewhat like Perry’s hits off of Teenage Dream including “California Gurls” and the title track, albeit much more in Cyn’s own understated style.  This summer, I learned how to surf and have fallen deeper in love with the beach (even though a stingray stung me my last time there), and this song would keep the surfing mentality continuing throughout the year, even when it gets too cold for it to be summer (or, even if my foot is bleeding to death).  Doesn’t hurt that Cyn is unbelievably cute too.

1. “Lovebird” - Far East Movement featuring Lay

“I can sleep here alone, but you know it's better with you You could be by yourself, but you know it's better with two”

As I grow as a person and become more proud of who I am, I think it makes sense for me to become more proud of my Asian heritage as well as support Asians and Asian-Americans out there, especially in the music industry as music means a great deal to me.  That said, it’s important to me that I don’t support people just because they’re Asian as if it’s some kind of nepotism.  That kind of segregating mentality can also be unhealthy.  Far East Movement are technically a one hit wonder; they have yet to outdo their 2010 hit “Like a G6.”  However, this year I found out about their record label Transparent Music that has been around since 2016 with a goal of unifying eastern and western music.  Their previous album aptly named Identity features a ton of artists from both sides of the word, from Hyolyn and Loco to Macy Gray and Soulja Boy (shoutout to my favorite song on that album, “Freal Luv” featuring Tinashe and yet another EXO member, Chanyeol).  To me, music is about unification.  It is about bringing a deeper understanding through melody and rhythm.  Those are the simplest terms I can put it.  I hope this is evident through this list that I appreciate people and music from all kinds of backgrounds.  Even if my tastes lean one way or another from year to year, I hope my lists maintain diversity and well-roundedness.  Somehow, Far East Movement has managed to capture this sense of unification in “Lovebird,” featuring Chen’s EXO bandmate from China, Lay.  It’s not the most complex song; in fact, like many songs on this list, it’s quite simple.  The synth bends in a carefree way that celebrates togetherness along with the lyrics, and I find that beautiful.  2019 was a year of growth and life, and “Lovebird” was the perfect song to accompany it.

*To qualify for this list, the song must have been released this year.  An artist can only have one song on this list, excluding features.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the DIvine 42

Spoilers, obv.

Probably time for the periodic reminder that these notes are an assorted of random thoughts, and any attempt to take anything I describe herein as the sole reason we did anything is a mistake. I would hope by this stage of WicDiv we should recognise that, in that it's one of the book's major themes – as in, Be Careful When Jumping To Conclusions From Limited Information, but it's worth stressing. I was talking to a friend, and the idea came up that when the whole thing is over, to do a whole OTHER set of writer notes about the writer notes. As in, "Now this is all over, I can actually talk about some of the things I wasn't talking about at this stage." As we step towards the end, more of that big picture stuff is going to creep in. Not yet though – when thinking of this issue, I thought "Shall I write this?" and realised it still is too early.

I will be glad when this is done, for many reasons, but being able to just talk freely is one of them. I also suspect I won't be doing a huge amount of that. DIE has no writers notes per se, and that's the direction I'm heading.

Anyway - "Okay" is six issues, but the last issue is an epilogue. That means the arc is actually five issues, and this is its mid-point. It's also one of those issues where when after I wrote it I realised that the dovetailing material had created an unusually prominent thematic backbone. Last time I can think of one as strong would be issue 31, where the concept of Theft just percolated it. This is even strong.

This is an issue primarily about masculinity and the men in the story. Two of those men die. One man reaches the key turning point. Two other men have clearly key beats. This is rare in WicDiv, where the women tend to be at the centre of the plot.

Jamie/Matt's Cover: Which makes the cover being this somewhat pointed. Brunhilde, smeared in blood. All our covers are inspired by something inside the issue, and someone in it. This is in the tradition of issue 10's cover, which promises something obliquely.

Vanesa Del Rey's Cover: I love Vanesa's work – do read Redlands – so getting her to do a full-witchy Norns made a lot of sense.

Page 1

One page scene, which is telling. As the solicits put it "I just read the synopsis for this issue and gaped. We’re actually going to do all this in an issue? That AND that AND that? Honestly, this last arc really is going for it." When writing that, it was a question I clearly asked myself. How can I get all this in? Any one of the three set-pieces is probably enough drama for an issue, but they structurally speaking have to be here.

As each key scene is so big we give them as much space as possible, so everything else is crunched down. The scene structure is 1-5-1-6-1-4-3. And the last two scenes could really be read as 1-1-5 in terms of what the pages are doing – or maybe 1-1.5-4.5.. Each of the big stories actually get five pages – the 6 is actually 5 pages of page budget.

Anyway – TIGHT!

As the antagonists were missing from last issue, we catch up with them here, giving Baal a key baal image of standing on top of the shard. Look what Jamie does with the verticality of that first panel. Even on a five panel page, it feels big.

Matt's using a purple palette her – which is the Inanna palette that Baal turns to occasionally, for obvious reasons.

Still – even with a one page scene, we get two silent panels, plus the WicDivian use of mobile phone read out. I'll miss working with this team. It's easy to see what we do in the set-pieces, but it's the basic work which is a delight.

First of Jamie's strong expressions at the end of the page.

Christ. This much words on the first page. I'll cut down.

Page 2

Bible quote from John, subverted. I often think of these kind of truisms like that. The whole "What does not kill you only weakens you for final inevitable collapse" kind of thing.

Page 3-7

PoV shot to keep the reveal of the Creature for the page turn, leaving room for Jamie's quiet acting. I like trying to keep these kind of scenes quite low key, to ground the fantasy of it. What would you do when seeing something like the Creature? What would you do after five minutes of exposure?

The PoV hopefully reminds people of when we've seen this before – as in, Minerva. The Captions re-set the stakes, and adds more specific information. Clearly we could have said the "we need him on our side or not alive" at the end of last issue, but that would have complicated things, especially as it's a story route we're not going down here.

The heads thing is my biggest lampshading of the key thing in this arc – as in, not everyone knows everything, and the holes in the knowledge is significant. Trying to remember who knows what and when is one of the many challenges.

In terms of "this is everything I've ever loved" the visual reference I gave Jamie was the people entombed and dismembered in Aliens. The 2 panel reveal is a standard thing we've done since Phonogram. As I've said before, I quite like having a response next to an image rather than on the next page.

The catch up is a necessary paraphrase of the specials, including a little extra information. This arc features quite a bit of this (next issue especially) in terms of making concrete things which readers may not actually work out. There's stuff which I don't explain – but the 1831-Inanna-was-not-a-god would very much be among them. As I've also said before, I've always been interested in which things actually make people theorise and which don't, and I never saw anyone question that element of 1831 – I suspect a re-reading of 1831 the tells are clear.

(Her grasping that necklace in most of the scenes is one of the more subtle ones, but when you realise that she's not telling you a key fact, it's very much the sister issue to Woden's 14 in "When you know what the narrator is not telling you, it all changes." That her own transformation is completely skirted over is a huge absence.)

To state the obvious, the Why Some Bits Of 1921 Had To Be In Prose may also be clear now. If we'd shown the Zeitgeist, you'd have known who she was.

I love what Jamie did with the Metropolis-inspired element of the design on her on the wall.

Page 6 has another of "The characters know different stuff, so we have to be true to the characters, and then avert the derailment" captions.

Jamie has to work overtime in this whole sequence, of course – Baal's realisation of the awful horror of what he's done is happening at the same time as an information download. That the information download is what hits Baal ties it together, but does mean these are dense panel layouts. Jamie's choice of moments. The expression in the last page of 6 just kills me.

The last page of the sequence is just horrible. There is a lot of horrible in this issue.

Page 8

And the second of the one-page scenes. I originally had Mimir go up to the surface to make the call, but remembered I'd already established at least 3G coverage in the underground.

Let us applaud Jamie's design for the jury-rigged Mimir phone for a second, and the expression as he sends, and the shot as he walks back. There's a lot here.

Yes, I'm aware that it's a little strange that we get the heads free again (and three with bodies) and this is the only action by them in the next issue is this. They'll have their time soon enough.

This is another heartbreaker. Dominoes falling.

Page 9

Reference to Crisis on Infinite Earths, the 1980s DC event which basically formalised the modern crossover

Page 10-15

Another tightly packed scene, but also one I knew we needed space on. Abstractly the first two pages could be a single page. In fact, in terms of page budget, they are. We're using repeats (and tiny tweaks) on panels to extend a moment, so we give Woden the appropriate amount of time to actually think this through. Woden's mask has been a major boon for such trickery, and this scene wouldn't have played nearly as well.  Note how we turn to a rigid grid to ensure this actually works.

There's a lot of great expressions in this issue, but Minerva's "It's a name as good as any" is an under-rated one. The soft change from "be"ing Mini to "be"ing Ananke.

Page 12 reveal of the Valk's teleporting in the sort of colouring rush I want to stand up and applaud for.

Minerva's explanation to Woden is another thing we're doing this arc – as in REALLY making explicit things which the reader has been 100% shown already, and may have missed. (We've seen Minerva appear out of nowhere twice. We see that she has the same memories – she knows the number to call to contact Ananke. We've seen they don't share a consciousness because she has to phone to tell Ananke where she is when she arrives in 2013, etc) but it's such key stuff to the understanding of the story that it's important to state it outright.

Anyway, Woden's fucked. It's been a long time coming, and he gets consumed by his hamartia. It's not the cleanest example of it, but it's there. He had several chances to back out of this, but at the end, he still is trying to treat other people like objects to further his own needs.

The Maened death sequence connected to the hive mind was set up all he way back in issue 8, of course. There is a lot that's horrible here – the revenge against Woden is hollow. The Valkyries are still being used as tools, after all.

Still... that at this late stage that Minerva, for all her obvious monstrosity, can still get a fist-pump moment from the readers for killing another character is a sign of how loathsome a certain other character is.

Minerva provides the back quote here too. "I am oh so bored of men like you." Rarely has a quote fit an issue as well, I suspect.

I do wonder how long I would have stretched out the death sequence given more space. Probably for the best- this is metronomic, clinical, and horrible. The use of the grid and the hard cuts sort of reminds me of some of the dance-beat stuff we did.

Page 16

Another one page scene, and definitely one I'd have given more time to in another issue... but that moment with Baal and his family and him being seen was absolutely essential. Once again, Jamie does a lot with six panels – the thing one of Baal's expression in panel 5 is a hell of a thing. Laura's captions also do the heavy lifting connecting the scenes. This is a mode I'm more using over in DIE.

The middle panel is interesting for Jamie's choices – very wide, to show the fight scene in almost scrolling fighter way, but still giving space to see Laura and Cass arrive. There is a LOT here. Compare and contrast with the previous panel, which gives the more traditional comics action shot, used in a stealth mode. Jamie is very good here.

Page 17-20

Back in the underworld. Panel swap from the blues and whites of the previous page to the warm reds. In some ways, 17 could be seen as one of those one page scenes. This is Baal and Inanna. What can I say? No more than Baal can, clearly.

18 is the last elements of set up for next issue, but is also clearly setting up the end of the issue. The "Ever" from Nergal is obviously loaded – it's a Now Or Never.

"Faces are remaining distinctly unkicked." Oh, Lucifer, I missed you so.

The "It's gone midnight" bit from Cass on 19 is something I suspect I'll cut for the trade – it's an artefact from me trying to overexplain something. Reminding people of the failsafe from Imperial Phase is enough.

19 also is one of my favourite beats, in that it's not part of WicDiv's planned structure, and just listening to the characters. Of course, Cass would say something inappropriate about Woden's death. Of course, Mimir would be heartbroken. And, of course, Cass would realise. Being better is hard. Cass's "I'm so sorry" is an amazing panel from Jamie. I've been there.

20 is tightly wound too – I could have given more space, at the expense of the next scene. In the end, I decided this was the right way to go. I haven't changed my mind.

In the original draft Cass's last line was "Oh fuck." After Baal's line, it seemed too much... and  you always know things are going badly when Cass doesn't swear.

Page 23

Reference to Satre's perhaps most famous line.

Page 24-26

Nine panel grid, back again. It's taken a late period WicDiv life of its own, right?

There's little I can say about this – partially as I don't want to, partially because it's still too early. It's the sort of thing I may talk about in issue 44's notes.

It's a slow motion showcase of Jamie's acting. I'd never write this for almost anyone else. This is as real a sacrifice as we can get, and the longer we spend with the moment, the realer it is, but only if it's grounded visually.

Baph's own story was about his fear of death. He's the character who tried to kill other people to scramble out of this. He's come to a place where he does this. Normally WicDiv gods are consumed by their hamartia. I believe Baph is the first who actually overcome his. This scene breaks my heart.

(This Corrosion just turned up in shuffle, and the like a healing hand howl is a bit too close to the bone.)

Last page is astounding. Not a way I'd have pictured it in a million years.

Page 27

I believe uniquely for WicDiv, this is a continuing interstitial. As in, a response to the previous one. Issue 43 is going to be late, for the health reasons I describe at the back of the issue. It's at the printers now.

Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading.

[bijoulilou]

After TWK part iii

It was surprisingly cool that evening, Jude observes, stepping out of Vivi's apartment. Tom waits patiently as she goes back inside to get a sweater. She reached to grab a slouchy sweater that was abandoned behind her bedroom door but Vivi stops her.

"You're not thinking of wearing that with your dress are you?" Vivi rummages through her clothes, then tosses her sister a denim jacket. It even smelled clean to Jude's surprise.

"I didn't think it was your style." Jude remarked. It didn't seem like Heather's either.

"Its not." Vivi didn't offer an explanation and Jude was in too much of a hurry to ask for one. She tossed her a pair of strappy sandals sandals but Jude declined. She tucked in the laces of her jet black boots to which Vivi nodded appreciatively.

"I'm almost jealous, i could never wear those. Steel toe and all. Very punk of you."

Jude paused, "is that a complement?" She turned to look at herself in Vivi's mirror. Heather had shown her how to apply liner and mascara to make here eyes look bigger. She even dusted the apples of her cheeks with a little color and added a little tint to her lips. Jude was strangely aware of her appearance and very nervous.

"You look great. Now go out there before he thinks you ditched him. C'mon Oak we have to pretend to do homework." Oak glared out the window, down at Tom. Resenting the day he pulled his prank, he scowled at the mortal instructor.

"Don't wait up, I'll be home in a couple of hours to check your homework. And if i forget Tom will tell me tomorrow!" Jude warned as she stepped over the threshold to join her date. When she left Oak stared up at his sister, Vivi.

"Isn't she married to King Cardan? Why is she spending so much time with him?" He holds his pencil tightly as he tries to start his homework. What was all this nonsense with adverbs anyway?

Viv sighed, the lives of her family members were unnecessarily complicated. "Well she is. But its more of a political agreement."

"Oh," Oak mused," I thought Jude was good at making those."

"What made you change your mind?" Vivi turns to the back of Oak's book and copies the answers for him. Making a mistake or two to make it inconsipicuous.

"Well she's here isn't she? I'm here to learn stuff and she's here because she made a mistake. Jude must not be good being tricksy as I thought."

Vivi laughs and ruffles Oak's hair. She wants him not say that around Jude or she won't let him stay up and watch tv anymore. Oak frowns.

"Then again, I don't think the King is good at being tricksy either. Every time I see him, he seems upset. Especially last Friday at paint night." Vivi freezes and stares at Oak, she asks what he means. Oak rolls his eyes, with all these adults around he figured that someone around here would a clue. "Yeah he was here. He talked to Tom and broke his phone. He asks me questions about us but mostly Jude. Sometimes he gives me gifts. He won't be happy that she wears some of them when she spends time with Mr. C."

Vivi stared out the window, she wondered if he was out there now. "Why didnt you say tell us about these secret meetings before? Did he tell you not to?"

Oak shakes his head, " I didnt think I had to. It wasn't anything important. It's not like he was a stranger." He looks at Vivi, "Can we order pizza?"

...

Tom is fumbling with his fork as Jude smiles up at him. She has a little tomato sauce from slurping her spaghetti. She's having too much fun to notice as Tom decides whether to tell her or reach forward and attempt to be romantic. He blushes at the thought and mumbles it instead. Jude dabs it away with her table cloth. Her dark hair moved to either side of her neck, soft waves that complement her olive skin.

"You look very pretty tonight." Tom confesses as the waitress refills their water glasses.

The waitress excuses herself as Jude meets his gaze, " Am I not as appealing any other night?" She's teasing. Tom's ears turn bright red and Jude can't help but revel in the satisfaction.

"Well I'm not sure, I haven't spent that many nights with you to get a general consensus."

Jude mockingly frowns, "General consensus? How many nights do you plan on spending with me?"

In a move that surprised both of them, Tom leans in, "As many as it takes."

She laughs, "Takes to what?" Her face gets a little closer.

"As many as it takes for you to want to spend more time with me." Without much thought Jude sits closer to Tom for the rest of the night. They discuss books. Some that Tom has never heard of but Jude assures him that they're foreign and hard to translate.

It's around closing time that they realize they've over stayed their welcome and leave to continue their date. Tom leads the way to find dessert, he gives Jude his elbow and she happily takes it. As Tom recites poetry from John Keats, enticing Jude with every word a dark figure closes in on them listening to every word.

The Roach had dreaded every moment of tonight, nothing had gone according to plan. Well in his defense, this plan didn't have the consent of the key part of it, the Queen of Elfame. Jude was supposed to end the night early because it had gotten too cold. A courtesy of little magic breeze that only followed then because Van followed them. The food at the table wasn't supposed to be appetizing because he had glamoured the busboy who took out the trash to go back inside and add too much garlic to their food. He even burned their bread. The waitress spilled their drinks, but since it was only water it didn't bother them. As the mortal man wooed his friend with words of promise and romance, Van shivered in disgust. The King was not going to like any of this.

"How is it going?" A voice calls from the shadows and Van turns to see the Bomb step out them. He shakes his head. "That bad?" She leans against the same tree as him to watch.

"They seem to be having a quaint little date." He sighs and takes a bottle of wine from his coat and gives it a swig. He needed something stronger than this.

"That doesn't sound so bad." She takes the bottle out of his hand and takes a drink. Van gives her a look. "What? You cant expect her to sit at home and cry. That's not the Queen we know." Liliver uses their old codename for her.

"Not cry but plot perhaps. That's what she's good at, plotting."

"How do you know she's not getting back at the King for exiling her by dating a human? You don't know Jude like I do." She juts her chin out as Jude nestles up in a little corner of the cafe. Her date brings her two steaming warm mugs topped with whip cream. Jude's face breaks into unfamiliar warmth. Liliver chokes on the wine.

"That doesn't seem like plotting to me. But I have to agree with you, she isn't idly going to sit by and be shamed by Ol' Silver Lips in front of all of Faerie. He knows that too."

"Oh yes , Ol' Silver Lips is well aware of his former seneschal's habits." A cool voice says behind them.

Van sprays wine everywhere, a couple of humans turn to see but it's too dark to make out what's happening. Van and Liliver look around, knowing that voice too well. Cardan throws an acorn from atop the tree they're leaning up against. Where he got the acorns they don't know. Liliver snickers, not even embarrassed to be overheard. She pulls down her hoodie to reveal her white misty hairy and Van grunts, annoyed.

"Your majesty, isn't it unsafe to be far from the kingdom right now? Surely your absence is a miss at some revelry." Van asks, not an ounce of cordial professional in his voice.

Cardan chuckles and throws another acorn at him. It smarts his ear and he hisses at the bite of it.

"No revelry or orgies. As far as anybody else knows I'm in the strategy room with my new advisors. They both look at him questioningly and he sighs," Its you two. Obviously. Congratulations you've been promoted"

"Does it come with a salary raise?"

"If Jude kisses that mortal it doesn't. Consider a demerit coming your way." He reaches out for his turn with the wine as Van hands it to him with a confused glower. "Oh you'll see."

As Van tries to point out the ways he tried to sabotage Tom and Jude's evening, Cardan counts. He counts the many times Tom and Jude smile at one another, when they laugh, when they bat their eyelashes at one another. Soon the bottle of Wine is gone and Van leaves to get another one from a restaurant.

.....

Jude's cheeks hurt from smiling. Whenever the tips of Tom's mouth turn up, her's just seem to follow. When she doesn't know what to say she just nods or furrows her brow. She found it difficult to behave like a typical mortal should. Maybe it was all that time she in faerie and trying to not be seen and keeping her emotions in check. Tom was the complete opposite of that experience. Every moment was narrated by his expressions, his excitement drawn back with his eyebrows or anxiousness highlighted by the twiddling of his thumbs. In a strange way it was beautiful. She observed him as a child would a newborn, in absolute awe.

Tom talked with his hands, maybe it was the coffee or the fact that he couldn't help it. He tried to describe to her the castles he visited in Europe while he was writing his thesis on William Blake. His hands echoed the open halls of the abandoned fortresses and the decaying moss covered stone that held it together. He tried to bring to life his stagnant memories of the open vastness of wilderness that enveloped around it. He said all this hoping to impress her but instead got swept up in reminisces of it all. Little did he know how acquainted she was castles and dwellings of this kind but instead of solitude she was met with a thriving brilliance the like he's never seen. The kind of normalcy that Jude had lived up until this point was stuff of nightmare and fantasy, the kind of scenery that filled up his books and poetry.

When Tom talked of things that excited him, it merely reminded Jude of the fire she once had. Of the now muted hunger that she once carried in her belly. For a moment she got experience that bit of excitement once again.

Tom looks at the clock and her eyes follow, it's late. He has to teach class in the morning, Jude understands and gets up. Tom asks if he could walk her home, she nods. As they walk their hands and elbows bump against each other. Jude clears her throat at the awkwardness and brings her cold hands together to make them warm. Tom, in unlikely bold move, takes them and runs them against his for friction and warmth. Jude thanks him and doesn't let go of his hand as he walks her home.

At the foot of the steps near her front door, he bids her good night. He looks at her, with a question in his eyes and she reaches up on tiptoes to kiss him.

At that very moment, somewhere in the shadows. Cardan Greenbriar's heart broke.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p14 reaction

So. I'm just going to put my thoughts under the cut due to the important events last time.

---

Vriska: perma-death or not? I wouldn't count on it, but I wouldn't be surprised either if her getting sucked into the Black Hole would be retconned. It could be said that John's retcons create seperate timelines, so that'd mean at least one version of Vriska is cursed to that ill fate.

It would seem not even Light can escape a black hole. Science: 1, magical fairy dust: 0

Guess it remains to be seen whether LE will even get sucked in as well. If not, Alternate Calliope's swansong had only the effect of ending the Green Sun, removing one of the ways LE was invincible but nothing more.

Though I guess she did manage to pocket that other character associated with 8-balls, huh? :mspa: Maybe in that sense the black hole can count as a red herring, even! It didn't kill LE, just like how Dave didn't kill him with his eggsword in the victory timeline, but an expy, Lord Noir. Perhaps it's part of why LE's eyes have stopped on the 8-balls, they're the only remaining balls to pocket, or some such.

Anyway, I presume it's back to Earth C now. I'd like to see Jane go see Roxy & Calliope, but I wouldn't mind picking up any of the other plot threads either.

---

"Jake yawns" Pfff, that continues from the previous page - John felt the moment approaching where reality yawns too hard and snaps in half. That could be taken literally, but I also think it could be that his dream may have ended right about here each time as well, meaning 'reality' ended and was replaced by the actual real world.

"and knocks on the window to Jane’s office again." So... Guess fake date night has already arrived. :P I'm guessing Jake flew over, though it could have been on his own power, he may have taken a plane.

"he’s been hovering here for way too long" Pfff, okay I took that to be in a descriptive way, but it's probably literal, Blaperile points out. I thought the window he knocked on was for her office door.

"The sunset has turned the head offices of Crockercorp into a shimmering glass monolith—a beacon, if you will, of the future, visible for miles in every direction.

Jane probably likes to think about it that way at least." Oooh, does Jake have any ideas to the contrary? That would be interesting, that he thinks it's more ominously looking.

"venetian blind" Right, her office still has that private-eye vibe going on, with the sun falling in between the shades.

"he responds with his specialty: incomprehension." ... Never mind, the narration is providing us with more detail than Jake can personally pick up on.

"The exasperated hand motions Jane tries next work better.

JAKE: Oh! The front door, of course!" Guess she can't open the window from the inside. Seems like a health or safety hazard, if you ask me.

"He whistles a quaint little ditty to himself while he waits for the elevator to go up to the top floor." Making his own elevator music then? Elevatorstuck, or the Girl from Whatsit?

"The whole place is candlelit, and Jane is reclining on her desk, sprawled out like a lounge singer on a grand piano." ... Laying it on a big thick, I see. Well, so much for making it a very public date. Guess Jane is going to try and charm him first, to presumably hilarious effect.

"Specifically: a blue lounge singer, on a blue piano" I'd say this might have worked better on Grandpa, given who he married (re: Hiveswap).

"New Prospit" So, those are both places in the Carapacian Kingdom, eh? Maybe New Derse-y's the dingy suburb to New Prospit's sprawling metropolis.

"Like all of his impulsive purchases, the tacky thing is gathering dust in a pile somewhere in one of the hundreds of spare rooms in his mansion, which now primarily functions as a very expensive warehouse for his atrocious hoarding habits." ... Well then! Guess he's really starting to fall into the same habits as Grandpa then! Could we take this to mean that some of his purchases which we derived his interests from were just things he picked up in a spur of the moment purchase?

"JANE: Come have a glass of scotch with me Jake. We have so much to discuss." So Jane is really giving off mixed signals here - on purpose? His favorite attire on a girl, but his least favorite drink. Or she wants his attention, but none of the affection he might be more inclined to give out when tipsy.

"She’s really bad at this, she thinks. “This” being seduction. She’s so bad at it, in fact, that Jake immediately recognizes her ruse for what it is. ... Jane is lashed both by the scotch in her face and how quickly her plan has fallen apart." I'm actually less convinced Jake has read her intentions than I am convinced Jane might be misreading him just as much as he is misreading her. Jake could've gulped the drink down to posture, not knowing how to handle her comment. But hey, we'll see.

"She is staring at the ceiling like she hopes it will split open and suck her into a supermassive black hole so she doesn’t have to deal with anything that is going on right now." Sorry, Jane, you're the wrong blue lady.

"JANE: Oh, no, of course not. I just wanted to...

JANE: To... talk about the economy." Next up Jake is like: "May I refer you to our mutual friend, then? He'd be better at this." :p

"JAKE: By jove the economy! Jane my dear friend please tell me all about the economy!

Jake doesn’t care about the economy. But he’s an ardent supporter of changing the subject." Jake may have a taste for adventure, but he'll flee from any battlefield of emotions gladly.

"JANE: Ah, it’s doing quite well right now actually.

JAKE: I should hope so!" Pwa-pwa-pwaaaaaah. :P So much for changing the subject.

"JANE: But it might not continue to do so in the future, which you can guess is of great concern to me, being that I am a pioneering entrepreneur." Ah yes, she'll try to prevent the economy from crashing, but in doing so, she just might make it crash, if Dave's to believed.

"adequately explain to me this conundrum which i admit i am not up to dick on.

JANE: You..." Dave and Jake are masters of ironic and innocuous innuendo, respectively.

"Jane laughs quite sincerely as he ruffles his jacket through her hair.

JANE: Oh, Jake, you really have no idea what’s going on, do you?

JAKE: Wait is this...

JAKE: Is this about the election muckup? Because i—

Jane puts a finger to Jake’s lip and shushes him. It’s a very smooth move." This is what Dirk must've gone through, actually, trying to get it through that thick skull that flirting was what was going on here.

"an awful lot of thinking as of late.

... this new universe.

JANE: You must admit that it’s a lot to grasp, and I’m not certain we’ve all taken the time to truly contemplate our place in it." Well, true, but here's the part where you lead all that thinking to a wrong conclusion, I presume.

"Who are they now? The same Jake and Jane who passed like particularly dysfunctional ships in the night a decade ago? Or is Jane wiser, and Jake kinder? Are they better versions of themselves?" Oooh, Jane has actually been thinking about some valid issues there. Well, especially valid to us, as long-time readers who now visit these same characters again after all these years have passed for us and them. Still, it's something I could see John struggling with as well.

"JANE: Haven’t we really just been... drifting these last seven years?

JANE: Drifting, both in the sense of failing to fulfill our personal potentials,

JANE: And in the sense of... well, drifting apart?" Well, the only one who completed his planet's prophecy, that we know for sure, is John, and the guy has been falling into a depression. So... yeah, everything hasn't been hunky dory for a long time. But some of them take better to drifting than others, Dave is a fine example of the former, in the sense that's his more like his natural state, though it isn't a real good one admittedly.

"The years go by so fast. And...

JANE: I miss you." Aww. But I fear she might be missing the memories more than the man in the flesh. We'll see.

"The moment goes from calculated to genuine in an instant." Oh Jane, really? I thought a little better of you. At least the moment's changing.

"Jake can’t stop himself from ..." ... Wow, Jake is really putting the moves on her, go figure! Guess the boy had practice.

"So he kisses her." Well! Guess they finally got this past them! *reads further* Ah-hoh-hum! Well, Jane's probably surprised by a) his kissing, good or not, and b) that she might actually be feeling something again for him.

"The inevitable consummation of a whirlwind romance fit for the big screen." ... Jake. Jake this is a real thing happening to you, not some movie script. Boy.

"Jane’s baby-soft palm, unmarred by the calluses of deft swordsmanship" Hah, that's the second reference to Dirk and Jake's (former???) relationship, first the kissing Dirk criticized him on, now this. :P Also, heh, guess it's a long while since Jane did extensive baking herself, then, if her skin's that smooth.

"Those rare, intimate moments that Jake was allowed to slip off Dirk’s shades and look upon his face, unobstructed, stand out more clearly in his mind than almost any other in his life." A Strider without his shades is a very rare moment indeed. It's their facade, their mask.

*reading on* Jake, being with one lover while comparing them mentally to your former one? That's not going to end well for any party involved. And here Jane might have hoped to leave that love triangle behind.

"But his hair is so much softer than it looks. His heart too. When a heart like that opens up to you, it opens up the whole world as well. A world of increased appreciation for combat, philosophy, life, love...

JAKE: Yelp!!!" *mental facepalm* Oh Jakey boy, you sure thought yourself into shooting your own foot there.

"JAKE: I

JAKE: I

JAKE: Ihavetogorightnowsorry." Pffff, he's going to fly straight back to throw himself into Dirk's arms now, right? The poor man won't know what hit him. Or maybe he will. ... In any case, this could screw up Dirk's plan to back Jane for presidency, if she realizes what this was all about and takes it personal. She didn't before, but that's not to say she'll only blame Jake this time around.

"grabs the bottle of near-untouched scotch" Oh boy, maybe Jake actually wants to get hungover before assessing what he just felt. :p

"before kicking open the latch to one of Jane’s giant windows and letting himself out." Hey what do you know, she COULD have let him in!

"she closes the window, sits in her CEO chair and speed-dials the number for her one-man Kitchen Cabinet." ... Depending on how I interpret this, she's either calling her Dad (unlikely given her current state)... or ... her personal hitman/bodyguard? ... Wait, is the fact she employed/enslaved Jack Noir canon for the epilogues?

"

DIRK: Yo, what up?

JANE: Not Jake, apparently." ... Ah. Well, the only way I associate Dirk with the kitchen is with a refrigerator stuffed with swords, so you can forgive me. The fact that Kitchen Cabinet's acronym is KC (Green) is probably not important. Oh, right, the cabinet of a politician, maybe?

"

DIRK: Wow. Going straight for the double entendre, huh?

DIRK: How much of that scotch did you have?" Dirk... was in on this. Dirk... knew. Dirk... cold. Cold hearted. But well, glad to see his gears within gears still don't run as smoothly as he'd wish.

"DIRK: Were you nice to him?

JANE: Well, I...

DIRK: I told you, you can’t be nice to Jake.

JANE: ..." So he says that, and yet what turned the situation around was Jake thinking about all the times Dirk WAS being nice to him.

"Jane squeezes her eyes shut and, very softly and quietly, bumps her head against the edge of her desk.

JANE: Why do I feel as if we’ve had this exact conversation, almost word for word, before?

DIRK: Because we have. Many times." So, it's of course similar to when Jane and Dirk talked about their misgivens about Jake in the session, it must also remind her of when Jake talked to her about his feelings for Dirk... And yet I think Dirk might be saying the truth, in that there might be a multitude of alternate Janes, even some post-victory, and alternate Dirks, who have memories of an identical conversation between the two of them, which he's slowly accumulating.

"Dirk doesn't wait. There’s a shadow cast in his doorway that is much more important than the election. Rose is braced against the doorframe" Cool. At least his biological daughter is more important to him than scheming. Though scheming might be involved in his dealing with his daughter's illness. Scheming's never not on the table with Dirk.

"She has her head tipped just so, her pale hair falling across in her face at an angle that bisects her perfectly neutral expression. Dirk sets down his phone and acknowledges her with a nod.

ROSE: Well,

ROSE: Go on." Hah, I had a feeling he might have been wrapping the conversation up quickly as he sensed her approaching. But Rose must've heard pieces, and picked up on something, migraine or not. It's going to be a pleasure to see them talk in person.

[rankakiu]

Thoughts of the Droid: Alita Battle Angel (2019)

Hello, people of Tumblr! How life treats you? As always, I hope very well. Finally, I had the opportunity to see the movie I most expected from this 2019: Alita Battle Angel

It is another Hollywood effort to adapt a Japanese franchise, being the turn of the series "Hyper Future Vision GUNNM" by the author Yukito Kishiro, which has become over time a reference and classic of the genre of science fiction and Cyberpunk, at the same time having gained the status of cult work. And this time, Hollywood, with the help of James Cameron and Robert Rodriguez have brought us their live-action version, which has given to talk in the middle of the cinema and among fans of anime/manga.

WARNING: NOT SPOILER-FREE. Read at your own risk

Entering already in the review, what did I think about the movie? Short answer: Entertaining, but could give a little more of itself. Now let's analyze the movie in more detail.

Characters: In my opinion, the strongest point of the movie. The interpretations of the actors could not be more accurate and you can see the effort they have put into playing their respective roles. I particularly emphasize the actress Rosa Salazar in her role as Alita and Christoph Waltz as Dr. Dyson Ido. Salazar has done an impeccable job and I, as a spectator, felt that I saw Alita in all her personality and glory. A kind and innocent girl who discovers and marvels at a world that is unknown to her. In this part, they knew how to perfectly balance her surprise and innocence, without Alita looking ignorant or silly. We also have her other side represented perfectly: a lethal soldier who possesses the soul of an entire warrior, with touches of arrogance, whose combat techniques make her a formidable adversary. And whose memories are unlocked little by little making use of their main weapon: the martial art of the Panzer Kunst.

Christoph Waltz, on the other hand, makes a very solid interpretation of Daisuke Ido ... sorry, Dyson Ido, a father figure for Alita. In fact, that aspect pleased me a lot about the movie, which at all times shows an authentic relationship between father and daughter that gets stronger as the story progresses. We see a Dyson Ido, who despite not agreeing with Alita in some circumstances, supports his adopted daughter unconditionally.

I also highlight the actors Keean Johnson and Ed Skrein in their roles of Hugo and Zapan, respectively. They also show that they studied their characters and represented them quite well. We have a Hugo here, who, like his previous incarnations, has the dream of going to Zalem in search of a better life. On behalf of Ed Skrein, he gives us an arrogant and vengeful Zapan, ready to defeat and humiliate Alita.

In general, the rest of the cast works pretty well inside the movie. (By the way, very good detail of those involved in keeping the surprise of Edward Norton as Desty Nova, since seeing him there in the film was a real surprise, and a nice to finish XD).

History: Ironically, this was the weakest point I found in this movie. At first, the story progresses well, but after a few minutes, the story feels rushed, presenting a huge number of characters in a very short period of time, apart from that they explain their characteristics, instead of showing them in the scene on the big screen.

However, I firmly believe that what it plays against was that they tried to make a perfect amalgamation between the first three volumes of the Japanese comic and the two existing OVA’s of the franchise. I recognize that there are scenes of this style that really work, but a good part of them feels that they pass too quickly and does not allow a real conflict between the characters to be generated. In addition, I also believe that Cameron and Rodriguez did such a good job of pleasing the fans, that they almost completely forgot to include more people, that their adaptation was more universal for the entire audience. I understand that in a movie the time is quite limited, but they could make an effort to deliver a more cohesive story. By the way, the violence in the film, although very reduced and soft compared to the original material, is appreciated to see it.

Something that seemed unjustifiable to me in the movie was that they removed all the history of Hugo's past, is essential to understanding his motivations. They kept his dream of wanting to go to Zalem, but you never understand why he wants to go to Zalem. Of course, long before the premiere, I read the volumes of the original Japanese comic, so, even when they missed that part, I understood the reason for Hugo's dream. But someone who approaches the franchise for the first time with this movie will never understand why. Also, you have the scene where Hugo climbs up one of the cables that hold the floating city of Zalem. In the Japanese comic and OVA, you understand that he climbs as a last and desperate alternative to fulfill his dream of belonging to that city. On the other hand, the movie goes up because the hunter-warriors know that he is still alive. Partly it is justified, but it feels forced and taken out of nothing.

As I said above, the story feels rushed and this is more noticeable in the inclusion of Motorball sports scenes, which I would have preferred to have been in the final part of the film and the other two rooms focusing on Alita in her role as hunter-warrior. We have another case, where the final confrontation between Alita and Zapan is hurried and one can barely enjoy the scenes. Almost has no impact on the viewer and to top it off, the change of heart of Chiren, now determined to help Alita feels too forced. It also happens in the case when Zapan loses his face at the hands of Alita, where the scene does not have enough impact to astonish the spectator.

But what intrigues me the most is: how in the end, Alita stays as a Motorball player if practically scenes ago she made rebellious acts against the Factory? Practically entering, dismantling machines, destroying facilities and killing a person (Vector) is enough to put a price on the head of our protagonist. And yet, there you see her at the end very removed from grief and the Factory does not put any reward for her.

But not everything is bad. In favor of the film, I will say that the inclusion of Hugo at the beginning of the story was a success since it allows the romance between Alita and Hugo to unfold naturally. You also feel that in truth chemistry between the actors, which makes their romance more tender and therefore more credible. I highlight two scenes in particular: the first where Hugo teaches Alita to play Motorball and the second where he gives her chocolate to taste for the first time. In the first, they spend more time together and therefore you can feel that their romance is born little by little. It is in the second scene where you see more the innocence of Alita that causes you to die (not literally XD) of tenderness, without forgetting that also this scene has its comic touches well achieved.

It is also fair to mention that the scene of Hugo's death is very emotional and finally we see how Alita is affected by that event. We see her mourn, her sadness, anguish, and despair to witness the death of the man she loved. As a spectator, it moved me a lot.

On the other hand, the justification of Dr. Ido to be a Hunter-Warrior is perfectly raised, since the loss of his biological daughter affected him so much that he decided to make his own justice. In general, it is a very valid reason and the proposal of the film goes further, by presenting an Ido, who after achieving his revenge, did not leave him satisfied, but even worsened his feeling of emptiness. It is quite similar to what the Japanese comic raises originally where Daisuke Ido, to prove the experience of killing, could not leave that profession, being a declared murderer. Something similar also happens with the end of this movie. I will also mention that here it makes more sense that Ido and Chiren have been a couple and their subsequent separation is equally well justified. Here Ido, with Alita, has again the opportunity to return to be a father, and the viewer sympathizes with Ido in that aspect. In general, the scenes that narrate the good doctor Ido's past are brilliantly realized.

If I had to highlight a scene that combines the Japanese comic and the OVA and if it works to perfection, without a doubt it would be the scene of the Bar Kansas and the subsequent fight between Alita and Grewishka. Interestingly, here if you feel a perfect amalgam between both formats and brought to life for the big screen. We have Alita who goes to the Bar Kansas for two reasons: one, seek to prove herself as a warrior hunter, and two get help to stop the evil Grewishka. It turns out to be an impeccable scene, where in spite of giving some events in a different way, it also preserves the essence of both previously mentioned formats (especially the japanese comic). It is here that the arrogant, but charismatic part of Alita is observed, humiliating the other hunter-warriors by telling them the painful truth, accompanied by a beating of epic proportions. On the other hand the sequence of the fight in the bar is very well achieved, reminding us of the fights that occur in the bars of our world XD.

The fight between Alita and Grewishka is the best achieved, having a great intensity in action. It is here where they also took many scenes from the Japanese comic and knew how to transfer them to the film. Here we see an Alita whose inner warrior reappears with more strength than ever, and despite the difference of powers and abilities, she knew how to stand up to her opponent, even when, in a peak scene, her Doll Body is destroyed, Alita never surrendered in the fight. Fortunately she was saved by the help of Hugo, Dr. Ido and the hunter-warrior McTeague. Particularly the scene where Dr. Ido carries the battered body of Alita is moving to see, as one as a spectator feels the affection and paternal care that Ido shows at that time with his adopted daughter, in addition to recalling a classic scene of the Japanese comic . Certainly a maximum point is reached when Dr. Ido rebuilds Alita with the Berserker Body, where he understands and accepts the warrior soul that is inside Alita.

To finish this point, I will say that the scene that I liked the most was precisely the one at the end, where Alita unsheathes her Damascus Blade and points to the sky. We also see Edward Norton in his role as Desty Nova, accepting the challenge of his enemy, a sublimely performed scene, where Alita accepts herself as a warrior, promising the destruction of Nova with a will of steel. Extra points for the design of Nova, where it really looks like its Japanese comic counterpart, without looking like a bad cosplay. In general, Nova's dialogues, along with his brief appearance, left me asking for more of this iconic character.

Visuals and special effects: Simply great. In truth here I recognize the effort they made to present the world of Alita. We see the floating city Zalem in all its corruptive glory, and the Iron City, with its people living as pleasantly as possible, but also presenting their constant problems to survive in an environment too hostile, full of poverty and murder.

The strongest point is the design of Alita and her cybernetic bodies. I still remember the controversy (which fortunately did not happen to major) that generated the fact that Rosa Salazar made her interpretation with the Capture Performance technique and above all, the decision to make the eyes of Alita enormous. To the relief of the majority, that was only a minor detail, since, in the final product, Alita looks pretty good. In all the scenes It looks totally beautiful, besides that, in spite of being a Cyborg, its movements are quite natural and fluid, like those of any other human. The designs of the cyborg bodies are really beautiful, in addition to offering some contrast to differentiate them. We have the Doll Body, whose design is simple, but close up it has ornaments that make it feel empty, in addition to its color palette is warm, ideal to represent the innocence and kindness of Alita. On the other side, we have the Berserker Body, whose design is more elaborate, but not saturated. And their colors are quite indicated to represent their warrior side.

Action: There is not much I can say, except that it is really very good and very well done. It's a frenetic action, but you can clearly see the fast movements of the characters. Once again I highlight Alita, whose movements are not only fluid, but also note that these movements, when attacking, dodging, pirouetting in the air, kicking and punching, you notice a huge physical force in her attacks and above all, her movements are more by instinct, as would be expected of her character, who instinctively recalls her training in the Panzer Kunst. The Motorball scenes are fast, you feel the intensity of the sport and in general, it feels like in its counterpart of the Japanese comic: a sport full of adrenaline and without mercy. The action does not disappoint.

In conclusion, Alita Battle Angel is a decent and acceptable film and adaptation. It is entertaining to watch and one can get to enjoy the experience. However, one also feels that the film had more potential, which unfortunately did not come to fruition at all. This film would recommend it more to Die-Hard fans of Alita or as a way to have a good time to get rid of boredom. For my part, I will say that this movie has become a guilty pleasure. No doubt I would see it again, but with certain reservations. For now, I give this movie 2.5 out of 5 Damascus Blades.

I'll finish my review by saying this: In part, I'm glad to see Hollywood keep trying to make adaptations of foreign franchises. As far as I can see, this industry is taking more seriously to rely on the source material and represent it in the best way they can, in addition to dealing with more some respect to the franchises. In fact, they still have a way to go, but I feel that they have already taken the right path. It is only a matter of time before they finally deliver an adaptation that is universally acclaimed. I count that it will be like this in the future.

Greetings

Rankakiu

Edit: I added my thoughts on two more scenes of the movie. So, I feel that my review is at last complete.

[elliepassmore]

Smoke in the Sun Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, magic, Japanese folklore/fantasy, court intrigue, multiple POV, strong female leads The two times I've read this, I've been wary going in, only to wonder why I felt that way when I finish. Maybe it's the threat of Mariko and Okami being in danger? Maybe it's the threat of a love triangle? The first one is obvious, of coursethey're in trouble in this one. A lot of it, actually. The second one takes a bit more time to work out, but for those of you who also aren't fans of the triangle, rest assured Ahdieh doesn't go in that direction. The closest she comes is with Tsuneoki loving Ranmaru/Okami, though he does it silently and without letting Okami know. Throughout Smoke Mariko has to face a very different kind of battle than she did in Flame. Instead of disguising herself as a boy and fighting with fists and swords and inventions, Mariko has to disguising herself as a noble lady and fight with lies and being shrewd. She does still invent some things to try and help--after all, she's not going to leave Okami in prison if she can help it--but the majority of the book is comprised of her using the things the Black Clan has taught her to wage a covert battle against the royal family, of which she is supposed to become a part of. Despite supposedly being uncomfortable with other noble women and having to converse, Mariko does quite well blending in with the other noble ladies. She has to do and say some things that chafe at her, but no one seems to really suspect her of being duplicitous...except maybe Raiden and Roku. She wins over Raiden for the most part, playing the part of a vulnerable, traumatized young woman. Roku, on the other hand, proves a more tricky player. It would be safe to say he falls into the 'Mad King' category, and he's definitely the up-front villain in this one. Aside from the trickery part of her story line, we also get to see how much Mariko has grown since the beginning of the first book. She takes care to learn the names of the people serving her, even befriending one of the younger ones, and also makes friends with a disgraced lady from court. At one point, we see this come to a crux when she and Kenshin have a bit of a spat and she tells him what she learned about their father and the other daimyos, which in turn makes him think about the same things Mariko has already realized. Speaking of, Kenshin is still a frustrating character. I get that he's losing time, that he's being controlled by a magical being, but even when he is in control, he takes zero time and makes zero effort to try and understand Mariko or the things going on around him. In fact, he instead chooses to go to Hanami and drink himself into a stupor at Yumi's tea house--which is fortunate for Yumi and the Black Clan, even if it isn't for him. While he begins a redeeming himself toward the end of the book--in the last 100 or so pages, I believe--it's too little too late for Mariko and it's a bit too little too late for me. I think a large part about why I dislike his character is because I don't believe in blind obedience and the samurai code, the code Kenshin tries to follow, demands it, even when you know it's wrong. I do appreciate how Ahdieh showed the conflict in Kenshin. In Wrath, Shahrzad's father's redemption comes suddenly, but here, Kenshin's (and Raiden's) redemption happens over a period of chapters, starting with small actions. I think redemption arcs like this are important, especially when they're left open ended, because it shows people that redemption and forgiveness don't happen overnight, they take time and effort and can be painful. So while Kenshin isn't one of my favorite characters, he definitely has one of my favorite arcs. Yumi is another sister that has to deal with brothers and redemption. We get to see a lot more of her in this one, she narrates a bunch of chapters, which I like. She's an intriguing character, especially if you read the short story Yumi. I like the message she espouses to Mariko about being a woman in Flame, and it's interesting to see how those thoughts coexist with her desire to do more for the Black Clan, to be included in the goings on. It was nice to see her take her fate into her own hands more in this story, going out and setting things in motion herself as she's wanted to for a while. She also offered an interesting dichotomy to Kenshin's interactions with people. When he's with Mariko he's angry and cold, but when he's with Yumi he's more open and vulnerable (and often drunk). But something about him lets Yumi understand he's been having difficulties and shows her being more forgiving toward him than Mariko. This, in turn, reflects back on how she interacts with her own brother. She still resents how he left her to languish for years, merely an information gatherer instead of a full Black Clan member, despite her abilities. That tension is still there, but she also gains the ability to see it from the outside after dealing with Kenshin and Mariko. Speaking of Mariko, their interactions were so pure. Both girls clearly respect one another and they're of very similar minds when it comes to their roles in society and their desire to help people, their friendship was lovely. Ranmaru/Okami also gets his chapters in this one, though he's in prison for a lot of it. The transformation of him from devil-may-care to someone who is willing to lead is phenomenal. It happens slowly, like the redemption arcs that occur, and, in a way, Okami's arc is a version of the redemption arc. But he listens to what Mariko has to say about him, he listens to Tsuneoki, he begins ruminating over their words to him and, after a fortuitous visit to his mother's old land holdings, begins to see that he is, perhaps, the leader Mariko and Tsuneoki think he is. The way the other Black Clan members refer to him and respect him also seems to impact his decision a lot, especially when it comes to Ren, who doesn't seem to respect much at all. Despite taking on a more serious role, he keeps his humor throughout the story. I really liked how Ahdieh portrayed his love for Mariko. He is one of the few characters who sees, understands, and accepts her wholly for who she is. I absolutely loved the lines where he tells Mariko that she should be worshipped, but never the worshipper. *SPOLER* I also really liked their epilogue scene together, where Mariko proposes and asks if he minds her experimenting at all hours of the night, even when the experiments might scare him. Their interaction there was so cute and light. *SPOILER END* Raiden also gets chapters in this one. He's another one, like Kenshin, who's conflicted throughout much of the book and undergoes a redemption arc, of sorts. He also, again like Kenshin, has this whole 'blind obedience' thing going on for a lot of the book. He loves his brother and is willing to serve him blindly, even if it means casting his own mother aside (not that she's a saint either, but still). He knows what Roku is doing is wrong, he sees the downward spiral his brother is in, and yet he lets it get to the point where Roku is torturing and killing people for fun and using the thin excuse of threats against the sovereign to justify it. Thankfully, Raiden ends up walking the line, following his brother while also using the orders he was given to help people. His speech to Mariko about not needing to be lectured by a woman rankled me, and Mariko too, but much like with Okami and Kenshin, her lecture made him think. His redemption is done slowly, piecemeal by piecemeal, starting with the few people he can save from his brother's descent into madness, and then escalating to doing what's right in straight defiance of his sovereign loyalties. Kanako is another POV in this story. Despite what she's doing, despite her being the covert bad guy in this book, about halfway through, she stopped feeling like an evil character. It helps that Roku was off his goddamn rocker, but even with the stuff she did to the people of Inako and some of the supporting clans, I didn't hate her or dislike her character. She is kind to Mariko, even if she planned to kill her in the first book, and she loves her son, even if it causes her to do twisted things. I suppose, through the lens of these two people, and through an understanding of how right she is regarding Roku's inability to rule, Ahdieh has done an exemplary job of making the, potentially, worse of the two villains a sympathetic character. Tsuneoki gets some chapters in this one as well, though far fewer than in the previous one, I feel. Despite his claims about Okami, he's still very much the leader of the Black Clan. I do wish we got to see more of him in this one, I feel like he was very much absent, and I would've liked to see more of his friendship with Mariko, the steps he takes to repair his relationship with Yumi. I really enjoyed the greater look at the world created in this duology. Like with Wrath , Ahdieh has chosen to give us a micro glimpse of the world in the first book and a larger view of it in the second. The setting the Black Clan is in is very different from the ruthlessness of the imperial court, which is different from the soft feel of Hanami, which is different from the haunted nature of Okami's mother's holdings. The greater variety in the cast of people in this one also gives better insight into the world. Whereas before, we really only saw interactions between the MCs and people similar to them, in this one we get to see the people Yumi interacts with, the servants and ladies (even disgraced) of the imperial court, the daimyos. Combined with the richer settings, Ahdieh has managed to show us a greater portion of the world Mariko and the others live in without drowning us in descriptions and details. Her worldbuilding is one of my absolute favorite parts of her writing. I feel this duology had a much clearer set of themes thanWrath . Throughout this book, especially. The redemption arc in all its forms is an obvious one. She pays close attention to the way the characters redeem themselves, such as, as mentioned before, starting with small decisions and working up from there instead of having one Big Redeeming Moment. It definitely reflects real life when she does it like this. The role of women is another big theme that starts in the last book and gets fully realized in this one. The women in this story have different forms of power. Kanako has her magic, Mariko has her words and inventiveness, Yumi her fighting abilities and beauty, Suke her ability to brush off the petty words of the court, Isa her quiet strength. Each of these characters impacts another in some way, be it big, like Kanako working to put Raiden in power or Mariko giving three of the boys lectures and making them think beyond, or be it small, like Isa not telling on Mariko when she sneaks out. The book is filled with strong women who make things happen, both good and bad. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and duology. Would highly recommend to everyone, but it's definitely a must-read for those who enjoy fantasy.