#especially since names are a sensitive subject

[apollos-olives]

his name isn’t even Waititi. His name is Taika David Cohen.

[iluvmattsbeard]

where were you? (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

VERY STRONG WARNING: SELF HARM/angst/swearing

(please do not read if you are highly sensitive with this subject.)

preview: you were the new student at school. you kept to yourself which caught Matt's eye. he was determined to figure you out.

a/n: this one hits close to home. if you are struggling with your mental health, know you are not alone. you are here for a reason. these type of emotions are tricky to figure out and no one should have to deal with them all by themselves. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU THINK. I thank the triplets for bringing me back to life, especially Matt for shining light on the subject and being so genuine.

it was early in the morning at school. you just moved to Boston a few weeks ago. you were suppose to start school right away but you couldn't find the strength to do so. you were dreading being in a new environment and meeting new people. today, you had no choice but to show up. the school was blowing up your grandparents phones asking when you will be coming in. so today, you finally showed up.

you walked into the school's office getting your schedule. "name?" the lady at the front desk asks. "y/n l/n" you spoke out quietly looking around. she nods as she looks through a drawer pulling out a small sheet of paper, also grabbing a map. she hands you them as she speaks, "welcome to our school. enjoy your first day!" she says with a warm smile. you give a weak closed mouth smile as you thank her.

you look at the map as you find your way to your first class. taking small steps as possible still dreading being there. you finally stop in front of the classroom door as you put your hand on the handle gently, taking a small breather before stepping inside.

as soon as you walk in, all eyes land on you. you stand there uncomfortably with your heart racing fast. you took their looks feeling judged already. "hello! you must be y/n. correct?" you nod. "great. nice having you here. you may take a seat anywhere." you try to avoid looking around as you make your way straight to the back, sitting in an empty seat. you sat next to a brown haired boy not really paying attention to his face. "hey" you hear him whisper. you turn to look at him automatically catching his blue eyes. "hi" you whisper back looking away after. "i'm Matt" he says still having his eyes on you. as you don't respond, he continues to speak, "uh... I just wanted to introduce myself since we'll be sitting next to each other for the rest of the quarter. we usually do lots of partner work so, I was just hoping to get to know you so this isn't awkward."

you look at him with a blank stare. you appreciated his effort. "I'm y/n" you respond. he gives a soft smile as he looks at the paper laying on your desk. "can I take a look?" he asks pointing at your schedule. you nod sliding it over to him. "I can help show you around." he offers looking up from the paper and back towards you. you shake your head a bit before speaking, "no it's fine." grabbing your schedule. "i'll figure it out." "well I would like to anyways to make you feel comfortable." he suggests. you knew he wasn't going to stop pushing so you later on agree.

Matt walked with you during every passing period before lunch. he showed you where the bathrooms were, where the library was, and where the cafeteria was before walking you to your next class. the last class before lunch. "that actually helps a lot" you tell him with the same weak smile from earlier. "i'm glad" he says with a smile before walking away. you walk into class as you sit down looking at the clock already wanting the time to go faster.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you were finally home as you stand in front of your bathroom mirror sighing. you looked at yourself for a bit. analyzing your face noticing your heavy eye bags. you suffered from the worst insomnia. every night you felt yourself being so tired. but when you shut your eyes, your mind keeps you awake with thoughts you wish you could avoid.

“y/n?” you hear your grandmother say behind the door as she knocks. you open the door revealing her with a gentle smile. “hi y/n. how was school?” she asks. “it went great.” you reply lying through your teeth. you had no choice but to lie. you didn’t feel the need to throw your negativity onto her. you always kept your own thoughts to yourself. especially around your grandparents. you didn’t want to worry them or push them away. they were all you had since your parents disappeared with no warning a few years ago. that’s when everything went down hill for you.

you had this repetitive thought in your head telling you how much of a disappointment you were that even your own parents couldn’t stay. you slowly lost yourself and your ability to socialize.

when night time came around, you laid in bed in the pitch black dark as you let out a soft sigh shutting your eyes. you were practically begging at this point for a good night’s rest. but you couldn’t. you open your eyes as you get up and walk to the bathroom locking it. you opened the drawer and focus your eye on something you were use to. picking it up and letting out a shaky breath.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it’s been a few days now since you’ve been at school. every day had you feeling drained. you even still felt like you were being constantly judged even though people’s stares soon disappeared. you still felt the need to be on your toes. it was lunch time. you walked out of class as you see Matt. “hey y/n. you want to join me for lunch?” he asks. you avoid eye contact with him walking as you speak, “i guess” he nods with a smile as he starts talking about how his day has been so far with you just listening.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you and Matt have been talking more at school. you told him where you were before moving to Boston, you shared common interests, and he talked about his brothers a lot. you were slowly getting used to having him around.

as you and Matt sit in class, you both just sat there doing your work. it was pretty silent in class indicating everyone was focused. you were minding your business until one of your classmates accidentally bumped into your table causing your phone to fall onto the ground. you lean down in your chair reaching for your it as the sleeve of your hoodies goes up slightly. Matt also went to reach for your phone but he stopped himself when he catches a glimpse of your slightly raised sleeve.

Matt’s POV

when i almost reached down to pick up y/n’s phone, i can’t help but notice her sleeve going up a bit revealing her wrist covered in red slits. it stopped me in my tracks as i sat there in shock. she didn’t notice at all that i seen. i look away as i continue to do my work, or pretend, having the image stuck on my mind. why would she do that?

End of Matt’s POV

when school finally ends, you walk out the doors as you get stopped by Matt. “hey y/n!” you turn to look at him. “oh hi” you respond. “you said you walk home so, can i give you a ride?” he asks. “no it’s okay. i like to walk.” you reply with a blank stare. Matt has now been eyeing you closely after what happened.

“come on” he says grabbing your hand softly with a slight smile pulling you to where his car is. “Matt seriously it’s no problem” you say. he opens the door for you looking at you before speaking, “get in” you step inside his car thanking him. “well that was nice of him”you thought to yourself.

the car ride was mostly silent as the only sound playing was his music slightly low. you notice he would glance at you from time to time. after a bit, he pulls up in front of your house putting the car in park. “thank you Matt. i really appreciate it.” you spoke looking at him. “anytime y/n.” he responds smiling. before you completely got out the car he stops you. “oh wait.” you turn around to look at him again. “is it okay to ask for your number?” he asks hoping you would say yes. “um.. sure.” you reply hesitantly. you never really gave anybody your number before. but Matt has been the first to ask for your number in the first place. he hands you his phone and you type it in. he thanks you with a smile and you just nod before going inside.

it was later in the night when you found yourself on your bathroom floor with a blank face. you look down and lift up your sleeves as you flinch a bit from the fabric sticking onto your fresh cuts. you looked at it feeling numb. you had your reasons for doing what you did. but nobody seemed to care to ask. you hid it from your grandparents because you didn’t want to crush them. they basically raised you when your parents couldn’t. they didn’t need to feel like they failed because that’s far from the truth. they did everything right. you just truly were stuck in your own head. that’s why the only comfort you were use to was picking up your razor blade.

you sigh as you let your thoughts consume you. you didn’t want to feel this way anymore. you just wanted to escape from your own head. you pick up the blade but hear your phone buzz.

unknown number

‘hey y/n it’s matt’

you pick up your phone as you reply back.

Y/N

‘hi matt’

as soon as you know it, you two were texting all night distracting you before going to bed.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it’s been quite some time now you’ve been in Boston. even though you had Matt, every single day that goes by got you feeling weaker and weaker. Matt would distract you sometimes. he still had no clue what you’ve been going through. besides the one time he’s seen it but never brought it up.

Matt’s POV

i showed up to school anticipating excitement knowing i get to see y/n. she’s honestly the best person to talk to. it still crosses my mind the thought of her hurting herself but lately i haven’t seen any other signs. but when i arrived to class, she wasn’t there.

Matt

‘where are you?’

i text her but i get no response. i decided to wait and not think much of it until i realized she wasn’t texting back all day.

Matt

‘y/n are you okay?’

‘answer me y/n’

‘why aren’t you at school? why aren’t you replying?’

no response.

when school ends, i decided to get in my car and drive to her house. it was starting to scare me.

End of Matt’s POV

you sat on your bathroom floor with your head leaned against your bath tub, looking at the ceiling. your door wasn’t closed all the way so when Matt walked into your room and saw you in your bathroom, he felt his heart drop. you turned your head as you sat up, “Matt? how’d you get in here?” you ask confused. he walks up to you as he shuts the bathroom door.

“your grandma let me in.” he says. “why weren’t you responding to my texts? what’s wrong?” he asks. you avoid eye contact as you speak, “sorry. just didn’t feel like going.” all he does is stare at you before sitting down in front of you. “talk to me” he says quietly not pulling his eyes away from you. “there’s nothing to talk about?” you say in a confused tone. “clearly there is. i know you don’t like school but you will show up. how come not today?” he questions. “like i said, i didn’t feel like going.” you respond looking at your hands. “are you at least okay?” Matt asks with worry plastered on his face.

“of course i am” you say looking at him with a weak smile. “why wouldn’t i be?” he stays silent as he grabs your hand softly. taking his other hand to raise your sleeve slowly, with him looking at it frozen. you yank your hand away as you get up pulling the sleeve back down.

“what the fuck are you doing?” you ask as you feel yourself heat up. he stands up as well before speaking, “y/n why didn’t you tell me?” “what was there to tell you Matt?” you say in annoyance. “you doing that y/n. why didn’t you just tell me?” he asks with a somber face. “i saw them before in class when you reached for your phone. i never said anything because i didn’t want to pressure you.” “what was i suppose to tell you Matt?!” you say raising your voice. “it’s none of your business or your concern!”

“y/n please talk to me. i’m worried about you.” he says trying to grab your hand but you step back. “don’t touch me! i don’t need you feeling sorry for me.” you tell him. “i care about you. i get you like to keep things to yourself but i’m hear to listen.” he says. you let out a scoff, “this is unbelievable.” you say. “what’s so unbelievable about me wanting to be here for you?” you look at him with your face burning up from rage after his response. “i didn’t ask for you to be here! you should’ve minded your own business.�� you exclaim. “i felt like i needed to be here y/n. for you. i don’t want you going through this alone. it pains me to know you just keep quiet.”

“because it’s none of your fucking business Matt! it’s my shit to keep to myself. not for you to hear. it pains you? well how do you think i feel!” you yell out. “y/n please.” he says quietly. “no Matt! i want you gone. no one has ever been here for me before and i sure as hell don’t need anybody now! especially you being here telling me you care when you don’t know shit!”

“yeah i don’t know shit y/n. that’s why i’m here trying to prove to you that i want to be here for you!” he says keeping eye contact. “Matt just get out!” you yell. “i’m not going anywhere y/n.” he says getting close to you trying to hold you but you push your hands against his chest trying to pull away from him, repeatedly screaming out, “get out! get out! GET OUT!” but he doesn’t listen and you eventually give into his hold as you break down crying with your legs giving out. Matt goes down as well holding you as he leans back against the sink cabinet wrapping his arms around you, embracing you in a hug.

he rubs your back softly as you sob in his chest. “i got you y/n. i’m right here for you.” he says reassuringly, resting his chin on your head. “i’m here to listen.” he pulls away as he lifts up your chin looking at the tears roll down your cheeks. he wipes them away and tucks your hair behind your ear. “i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i want the thoughts to go away and i try to put it into words but i just don’t get it.” you say sadly. he holds your hand as he speaks, “i know it can be difficult. i’m not asking you to tell me everything now because i know this is new for you. take all the time you need. but, i will be here. for you.” you look into his eyes as more tears stream down your face from his kind words. “you’ll be okay i promise.” he finishes, wiping your tears away again. you wrap your arms around his neck hugging him as he wraps his around your waist.

you knew you were safe with him. he validated that for you. “where were you when i needed someone the most?” you whisper out. “i could’ve avoided all this.”

“now they’re just going to turn into ugly scars…” you add on. he pulls away from the hug as he lifts up your sleeves. you gulp as he looks at them. he pulls your arms up gently to his face as he leaves soft kisses on your self inflicted wounds.

“don’t say that. when they turn into scars, i will look at them and tell you how incredibly beautiful they are.” he says. “you’re here for a reason y/n. these that will soon turn into scars, will show how you’ll progress to be stronger.”

you smile softly not even remembering the last time you actually let out a real smile. “thank you Matt.” you say. he smiles as he leaves a kiss on your forehead. “don’t thank me. i’ll always be here.” he says leaving the both of you still on the bathroom floor embracing each other.

A/N: i hope you guys enjoyed this Matt imagine. please always spread kindness and positivity!

[dammn-dean]

Unexpected

Pairing: Simon Riley x Female Reader

Words: 4000

Warnings: Pregnancy, secrets, probably a bit out of character

I wanted to write a pregnant!Reader fic so here we are... I haven't written in a long time and this is my first time writing a COD character! Any and all feedback is welcome 🖤

Shout out to @babygirl-riley for helping me with this. Thank you!

“Simon?” your small voice echoes from the phone.

“Yeah?” He answers, in his typical bored voice.

Only letting the phone ring once before answering. Obviously he wouldn’t have answered if he wasn’t available at the moment, but you never know.

“Are you… busy?”

Your voice is different… raising Simon’s curiosity. He could only think of a handful of times since he met you that you had ever even tried calling him without sending a text first to check if he was in at base or not.

“A little, why?” He doesn’t mean to sound so gruff, but he does. He also wasn’t necessarily busy, but he wasn’t in the mood to chat with you. His day was especially shit today.

“I.. um well,” you hadn’t had time to come up with what to say. “I am sorry for not telling you before now and if you wish that I would have never said anything… well I’m sorry for that too.” Your words were rushed together, barely making any sense.

“Just spit it out will ya?”

You physically flinch from his rashness. Simon wasn’t always this way, but the past few months it seemed he stayed irritated at you. Just the sensitivity of the subject was already difficult enough, paired with his attitude towards you. This was going to be a rough call. “Sorry..” your heart is beating so fast you are wondering if it’s making matters worse, “I just wanted to tell you-“

Pain shoots through you, what once was a small little reminder of the state your body was in began its first real shock of what was happening. You let out a gasp and small noise of discomfort. That made him stand up from the chair he was sitting in and call your name over the phone. You almost missed it, the pain causing the phone to be pulled from your face.

“Love, what is it? Are you hurt?” Simon was actually worried now. Once the pain subsides you huff a small laugh. “Well, kind of yeah but no I’m okay.”

Simon’s brows pulled together at that, he was more confused than ever. Before waiting for a response he snagged his keys from his pants as his legs carried him to the parking lot at base. “Where are you?” He all but growled.

“No, it’s okay, you don’t need to come to me. I’m okay,” you smiled to yourself. You had convinced yourself you could do this alone. Damn your weakness for even calling him to begin with. “I am about to head to the hospital.”

“What do you mean? Tell me where you are… I’m on the way.” You could hear the door to his truck slamming and the engine cutting on.

“You may not want to once I say what I have to say,” you whispered.

“I’m pregnant.”

Simon felt his blood run cold. He didn’t speak, just continued his way out of the base. Brain not keeping up with what was happening.

“I… have been pregnant. And the baby is coming. I- Our baby is coming Simon.” Your eyes squeezed shut with the confession. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears so loud you almost missed his response.

“Where are you?” He actually growled this time.

“The apartment…” you replied meekly.

You could feel another round of contractions starting up. You dropped to the floor and before allowing yourself to scream over the phone you dropped it to your lap, and road out the contraction. Once the pain eased up some you heard your name being repeated from the speaker, his voice urgently asking for a response. You picked back up the phone, “I’m sorry…” you felt tears prickling your vision.

--------------------------------------------

You hadn’t meant to keep it a secret. What started as something you happily found out turned into your best kept secret.

It was around the two year mark of you starting this relationship with Simon. You two had met and after many months of being friendly you had fallen for him first… it was quick for you to love him and you had fallen hard. Simon took a little more time to open up and things weren’t always easy, but you loved each other thoroughly.

Simon was gone on a month long mission when you started noticing something was up. You were getting queasy from random things that never had upset your stomach before. That was your first clue to get a test, so without much thought when you ran to the store for some things for dinner after work, you grabbed a pregnancy test. You got home, started working on dinner, making one of Simon’s favorites as a surprise. He was coming back for a short while before heading off for another mission and he was due home any moment. Since he hadn’t made it home yet so you figured you would bring the test into the bathroom and get it over with. Yet 5 minutes later the small white plastic showed you the truth - Positive.

You sat in your apartment’s bathroom, looking at the little plus sign. Mind reeling, a thousands thoughts flying through your head. Were you ready to become a mom? How would Simon take the news? Does he even want to be a dad? How would you balance having a baby with Simon’s work schedule?

He had knocked at the door, shaking you from your thoughts. “You alright love?” He had been in your apartment for about 10 minutes, waiting for you to leave the bathroom attached to the bedroom.

You hadn’t even noticed him coming into the apartment. Without much thought you grabbed the test, tossed it in the bin and quickly washed your hands before opening the door.

You grinned at him, “Yes of course. Sorry!”

Your arms wrapped around him instinctively as a greeting, but his body tensed instead of attempting to hug back like he usually did. You withdrew with a questioning face.

“I missed you,” you tried to adjust your face into a small smile. “Are you okay?” You questioned.

“Yeah.” Was all he offered, then he headed into the bathroom. Your eyes widened and followed his back until he shut door behind him. Definitely must not have been a great day at work. Simon doesn’t tell you much about what he does day to day, but you can’t imagine any of it is easy on him.

So without asking again, or following after him you went back to making dinner. Now your thoughts were muddled of the thoughts of parenthood, and this baby. Your face couldn’t help the small grin that popped up, a hand coming to gently rest on your stomach. By the end of cooking everything and getting plates ready you had decided you would tell Simon after dinner. Sure you only have taken the one pregnancy test, but you wanted to go ahead and give him the news. That’s when you realized he still hasn’t came from the bedroom, that used to be just yours and slowly has turned into both of yours. Now it was your turn to knock on the door to the bathroom.

“Dinner is ready… I made one of your favorites to celebrate you being home.” You couldn’t help the cheerful tone your voice held.

The door ripped open at that. His hair was still wet from his shower, he was dressed down in sweats and a black t-shirt. You smiled at him and reached a small hand out to him.

His eyes met yours for a moment before chancing a quick glance to your outstretched hand. “Not hungry.”

You were usually pretty receptive to his reactions and as much as it confused you, you dropped your hand back down to your side. “Oh okay… well I will put it in the oven to keep warm until you are,” you suggested. Your stomach was rolling, for many reasons. The news of the pregnancy, the actual sickness the pregnancy was bringing you and how Simon was acting had your nerves on edge.

“You go ahead,” his eyes didn’t quite meet yours “The crew and I have a lot to debrief on… we leave on the next mission in a few days. I think I’m going to head back to base for the night,” he bluntly stated. He gently walked past you into the room, collecting items into his duffel bag.

“Well I made dinner especially for you, I hoped we could enjoy it tog-“

“I said I wasn’t hungry.” He didn’t yell, but he definitely spoke louder to you than he typically did.

You couldn’t help the small breath of air you took in, and he rolled his eyes at that. “Please,” he said your name with a sigh. “I am not in the mood for this.”

“Okay,” you whispered. Eyes welling up with tears, but before they could fall in front of him, you turned to head back into the kitchen. You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes before they could fall as you made your way into the kitchen. You grabbed the food you had spent the last hour or so working on and dumped it into the trash. You flung the pot into the sink before reaching for the next dish to toss.

“What are you doing?” Simon grasped your arm before you could throw away the main entrée.

“I’m throwing out the food. What does it look like??” You couldn’t help the angry tone your voice took on. “I made all of this for you. And you don’t want it, so I’m getting rid of it.”

“It’s not that I don’t want it… I just-“

“You aren’t hungry,” You cut him off. “I get it.” Using your free hand to wipe a stray tear that was threatening to fall.

His eyes softened and he released your arm. “I’m sorry… yeah? You know I hate when I get back then immediately have to leave again.” Simon tried to comfort you, but it was too late. “I probably should have just stayed at the base as is… I just have a lot on my plate.”

“Yeah I got it,” you coldly replied as you sat the now cold entrée onto the counter. To know you spent all day thinking of things to make his day back special… and to hear him wish he wouldn’t have even came. Just breaks your will. You then felt tired to your bones, unwilling to argue as you decided to call it a night. As you head to your bedroom, over your shoulder you said “Tell the boys I said hi.”

--------------------------------------------

That was the last time you had seen Simon in person. A little over 7 months ago since he had stepped foot into your apartment. You had given him the silent treatment for a while. Well, if he would have had access to a phone you would have definitely given him the silent treatment.

He was gone with no way to contact him. Which you didn’t mind, initially. It had been a few weeks since Simon had left and since you found out about the pregnancy. Things were beginning to catch up and take a toll on you. From the physical aspects of being pregnant, to you being lonely with Simon being gone for so long, and work was awful. Your stomach was starting to grow, everyone around you noticing the baby bump but you never acknowledged it. You hadn’t even gotten to break the news to Simon, it didn’t feel fair to talk about the baby to random co-workers. A few doctors appointments had come and gone, confirming the pregnancy. You had decided to not find out the sex of the baby or really even look at the screen during the sonogram appointment. Just letting the doctor check on the baby’s health, that was all that mattered to you.

It’s the middle of the night, your bladder waking you. You got up and made your way to the bathroom to relieve yourself. Once you were back in bed under the covers you felt sleep pulling you back in but before you could fall asleep your phone started to vibrate. Incoming call from an unknown number. Simon

You were thinking about not answering but you decided to pick up the phone anyway.

“Hello…” you answered quietly.

“Sweetheart,” Simon sighs “I’m sorry to be calling you so late. I finally had access to a phone and I, well… missed you.”

Your lip was pulled between your teeth. You were feeling all kinds of emotions. You wanted to still be upset with him, but at this point you couldn’t even feel anything except the loneliness of life without him here.

“I miss you too,” you responded as you adjusted yourself in bed to sit up right.

“Fuck love, missed your voice.” He is talking low, probably just barely out of earshot from the guys. “Hate leaving how I did, and going this long from ya.”

“Was pretty bad Si,” you spoke honestly. “Don’t get me wrong… I know your job is insanely difficult and hard on you. I just wish sometimes you would think about what it does to me too.”

Simon sighs again, “I know… I just… I’m trying.”

And he was trying, he made that obvious to you. His communication was better than it was in the beginning. Simon is a very closed off man, and he has let you in more than he ever told himself he would allow another person in. You just have that way about you, and it drives him crazy in the best way.

“I wish I was calling with better news, it looks like it’ll be a while before I’m able to come back.”

“What is ‘a while’?” You whisper back, suddenly feeling choked up. He had already been gone for longer than usual.

“Price is thinking a couple weeks here, but we have some new intel… may keep us busy for the next couple of months, love.” Simon hated breaking this to you after staying away so long. Being with him was insanely unfair to you, but you had convinced him this was the life you wanted. You wanted him.

“Okay.” You had tears falling freely now. And you brought a hand to rest on your tummy.

“I have something to tell you,” you started.

“Hang on sweetheart.” He interrupted. You heard commotion on the other end of the phone. Then Simon’s voice was back, “I’m sorry, I have to go. When I’m back at base I’ll be able to text ya, yeah?”

“Oh… okay. Yeah.” You gave yourself a sad smile. “I love you. Stay safe.” As much as Simon needed to know about the baby… how wasn’t the time.

“Always.��� And with that he hung up.

That was the last time you attempted to bring up the baby to him. You realized that Simon was going through a lot and you just could never figure out the best way to say it.

He did text you here and there, letting you know he was okay. Simon let you know when they were back at base a few days ago, with an excuse as to why he couldn’t come to your apartment. You wish that you could recall the reason, but it just seemed like maybe he didn’t want to come home to you. Simon just hadn’t been able to make the time to come see you… Until now.

Simon stood in the doorway watching your frantic form gather things from around the apartment. Shoving some things into a bag, before disappearing and returning with a baby bag that seemed to be full. That’s when your eyes connected. You felt your eyes well up with tears, oh how you missed him.

“Simon,” your lips trembling with emotion.

He honestly couldn’t place what he was feeling. Seeing you for the first time in months, and here you were, a few feet away with a hand on your pregnant belly… Belly holding /his/ child. A child he would have never known existed if you didn’t bravely call him moments ago. He ripped the balaclava off his head, showing you the true emotion of his face. One of the downsides of always wearing a mask, he can’t regulate his face well.

“Sweetheart,” Simon’s voice was almost unrecognizable. “I’m here… what do you need?”

You let a tear fall down your cheek and smiled. “I’m so happy you’re here.” You took the few steps left between you and reached in to hug him.

Although at the last moment you hesitated, unsure if he wanted the contact. Instead you let your hands awkwardly fall to your sides. Simon had never been so upset with himself. Watching you want nothing more than to hug him but withdrawing from him. You were always overly cautious of his needs, but had he ever shown you the same? You were pregnant with his child, yet you didn’t want to tell him the news, always scared you were a bother to him. Has he made you feel this way? All this time away from you… for what? He could have made the time to check in on you.

“I’m glad I’m here too, love…” his voice held a softness to it only held for you. His hand reaches out to brush softly against your arm. Softening you up to his presence. Unsure of what caused the next words to come out, Simon muttered “May I?” His eyes met yours before he glanced at your stomach.

Your heart was racing, blood pounding in your ears. “Of course Si…” and his hand immediately came to rest on your belly.

You let out a small gasp at the contact. Your hands gravitating to his ungloved hand resting on your protruding stomach. Stopping yourself an inch or two from making contact.

“Can you make me a promise?” Simon spoke softly, eyes meeting yours again.

“Anything, you know that,” you smiled at him.

“When you want to touch me, please just do it. When you want me to touch you, you tell me. If you have something you want to tell me… just say it. But especially when you need or want me here with you… you tell me love.” Simon felt the sensation of being choked up, he only hoped his voice didn’t crack. “I love you and I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you,” he whispered. He kept one hand on your stomach while the other came to grasp your face. “I am so sorry.”

You couldn’t even try to stop the tears from falling now. “It’s okay Simon… I am so glad you are here no-“ another contraction began. You grit your teeth, trying to remember the breathing you had practiced, but the pain was still there.

This is probably the biggest thing that Simon was not prepared for. Had he spent his life inflicting pain upon others? When needed, yes. How many people had he seen in distress and never felt one thing about it? Basically every time. Yet here he was watching you writhe in pain, wasn’t something he handled well.

“Jesus Christ…” he grasped onto you. Keeping you upright. “Let’s get to the hospital, yeah?”

You didn’t put up a fight, letting him help you to his truck. Before he could open the door you stopped him.

“What’s the matter?” He asked worriedly. “We can’t…” you took a deep breath before continuing. “We can’t drive the baby back in your truck. The car seat is in my car.” You avoided his eyes.

Simon felt a pang of something up his spine, similar to jealousy but close to disappointment in himself. You were completely and wholly ready to have this baby without him. He felt a huge sense of pride in you and your independence but he was also upset at himself for making you do all of this alone.

“Alright yeah, makes sense,” he kept his voice calm. Leading you to your car, asking for keys and guiding you in gently to the passenger side.

“I’m going to run backup for your things lovie… I’ll be back in a minute.” With that he was off and Simon was back in under the minute. Bags in hand, tossing them in the backseat before heading to the closest hospital.

Simon is as silent as ever. He was doing his best to drive safe, but he also had a huge sense of urgency to him. His mind couldn’t slow down and allow him to catch up with what was happening. Thoughts clouding his mind and taking up all his capacity to think.

“I’m sorry..” you started again. Breaking him of his thoughts. God how long had he been silent? “I know you’re busy and I ha-“

“Stop,” he said with a sigh.

Your eyes cut to him quickly, before returning to your lap.

“Please stop saying sorry to me,” eyes cutting to you. “I am the one who is sorry and who should be begging for your forgiveness. I can’t believe I haven’t made you understand what you are to me. I’m not upset about you not telling me, sweetheart. I’m just sad you have been through all of this alone.” He let out a dry chuckle. His hand reached out for your stomach again. “I have done nothing in this life to deserve you.” He let out a wet chuckle, “but fuck… am I glad you’re mine.”

You grinned between the tears. Your hand covered his easily now, without hesitation. The feeling of his warm hand softly brushing your stomach was something you had been longing for. “You deserve more than me, but I’m glad I’m yours too.” You let out a small wink when his eyes let yours briefly before they were back on the road in front of him.

You felt another surge of pain shooting through you. The contractions n were definitely getting more frequent. You started your breathing again, this time squeezing his hand to help take your mind off it. Once the pain subsided some you could hear Simon’s voice sweetly talking you through it.

After a couple breaths, you steadied yourself. “I found out I was pregnant the day you left, ya know… before.” You admitted. You heard his big inhale at the confession.

“The night with the… dinner?” You aren’t sure why you felt the need to clarify. It could have been a big moment to you and not to him, you suppose.

“Fuckin’ hell baby…” Simon sighed.

“I just wasn’t sure where we stood,” you gulped. “I couldn’t tell how you were feeling and I honestly don’t even know if you like kids.” You let out a dry laugh. “I had this whole plan, god it was a halfway thought out plan. We would eat dinner, celebrate you being home and I would tell you the news.” You hadn’t let go of his hand even as it fell to your lap. “But with the way everything happened I just didn’t know what to do or how to tell you… so I didn’t.” You finished with a shrug.

“I like kids,” he admitted. “In case you’re still wondering.”

You couldn’t help but smile at him for what felt like the 20th time since he arrived at your apartment.

“As for the rest… I don’t know how to explain how I behaved that night. Of course if I knew… I wouldn’t have acted like that. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. Fuck what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him. “I’m glad you like kids.”

“Changing the subject, yeah?” You can hear his grin.

You turned a little to look at him better. “We will get through this. Will probably have to have a few talks about everything but for now. Let’s get this baby out of me.”

You can see the lights of the hospital casting over his features as he pulls into the emergency lane. With one deep breath that you two seemed to share, “It’s go time Si.”

I hope you all enjoyed this! If you would like a part 2 of the hospital and then the aftermath... feel free to let me know in a comment!

Thank you for reading 🖤

Part Two

[midnightcrw]

Mama's Boy

Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

Summary: Holding and seeing his daughter for the first time

a/n: Did I almost cry while writing this? Yes, I almost did. But I really hope you all will like it. The story about Simon's mother is made up by me, but I just thought it would explain why I thought of naming Simon's daughter Daisy.

“She has your eyes.” He whispered softly under his breath.

You smiled as you sat down beside him. Daisy did have your eyes, but the rest of her resembled Simon.

"She looks more like you, though," you said quietly as you looked at your daughter.

It was the first time he had held and seen her since his mission a month ago.

At first he had hesitated to hold her, but now that she was in his arms, he seemed to relax slightly as he admired her.

Daisy was more of a mini-Simon, her features almost identical to his.

Your beloved husband was still a man of few words, and looked more like a wall of ice at first. But you knew how to see past that veneer of stoicism, his beautiful eyes were always filled with a wealth of unspoken emotions.

Daisy was his everything, and as he sat there holding their little bundle of joy, he silently thanked the heavens for leading him to you.

Was it all a stroke of fate, or destiny? Nobody could say for certain.

"What did you name her?" Simon whispered, not wanting to disturb Daisy's peaceful expression as he still kept his eyes on her.

"Daisy," you said softly, almost being too afraid to utter it out.

And for a moment, everything seemed to freeze. Simon's eyes widened slightly as his shoulders tensed.

You were afraid of how he would react. The two of you hadn't talked about baby names before, but you had one in mind.

Simon didn't usually talk about his past, only when it really ate him alive, and one thing that stuck with you was the story he once told you.

Simon's mom loved flowers, especially Daisy's. She always kept some in a little vase. She used to tell him that whenever things got bad at home, she would take a few of Daisy's home with her because they meant new beginnings.

It was a silly thought, but it gave her hope. If the new beginning wasn't meant for her, at least she wanted it to be for Simon.

You remembered tearing up at the story, and from then on you knew you would name your daughter Daisy.

His eyes widened slightly as he looked back at you.

"Daisy." Simon repeated slowly as he took a moment to absorb what you had said.

Your husband was a private person by nature, but you noticed that he was beginning to show signs of emotion. His face softened, revealing the faintest smile as his lips formed the words...

"Thank you."

His lips trembled slightly as he bit his lower lip, while a single tear made its way down your face.

You kissed his cheek and watched him hold her. You hadn't named her after his own mother, knowing how sensitive the subject was for him. But you had chosen Daisy because it would make it easier for him to look at her and remember a good memory his mother had left behind.

Simon still held his tears back as he looked at Daisy. His precious daughter.

And he knew that for a fact, his mother was watching from above, with a smile on her face.

[plumipal]

AAAAAOMG UR TWST OC IS SO ADORABLE?? i'm absolutely in love with eden sm (+ his design?? the star eyes and the wings are my favorite,, i wanna smooch all his tattoos!) and i hope it's okay to ask a few questions about him... (I KNOW U SAID IT WAS OKAY BUT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE 😭 i'm genuinely interested in knowing more!)

1) does he have anyone in the twst cast that he tolerates/likes? i know he's part of the whole harem thing but is there anyone he doesn't necessarily mind being around (or even sharing with the prefect?)

2) do grim and eden have a good relationship? i would assume so since they're living both with one another but do they just get along with each other for the prefect's sake or are they actually best buds? (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

(little dumb idea but i think it would be so cute if the prefect treated the two as if they were all like a little family! eden and prefect being the two parents and grim their rambunctious kid lmao,, i would imagine the others not being so happy about it (っ‘ω`c))

3) is he okay with physical affection/pda? is he totally chill about it or would he rather shy about the whole thing? is he open to having the prefect touch his wings or his tattoos?

4) oooo any funfacts that you have about the new ramshackle resident?? just in general really if that's okay with u ofc!! ☆

aa okay that's it!! i hope my questions weren't annoying or anything! (っ‘ω`c)

Had to get one of those wheels ive seen going around where you put the oc and how they feel about the character and how the characters feel back about them, but with a twist lol (most of them are haters).

The ones he are most tolerant with are grim, ace, deuce, jack and kalim. Only one he could possible share with would either be kalim, jack or deuce, because of how he sorta is annoyed by ace.

Of course cant forget how he feels about you :) he thinks you are very very very special and he loves you a lot <3

He likes grim a lot, seeing as grim isn't one of the students that is oh so annoying. He warms up to the monster, seeing how gently you take care of grim, wanting to do the same. It feels, domestic, in his opinion.

Grim likes Eden a lot too, he has never belittled him, he has always made sure to feed grim along with Eden being very warm (and therefore very nice to sleep on). In grims opinion, he thinks you should go with Eden, cuz he is a good candidate for marriage (grim has been bribed with love, affection, and tuna).

He takes good care of the cat son, making sure he is healthy and happy.

Now onto pda. Eden are only okay with you touching the wings, the tattoo and the core, being as they are quite sensitive. The scar is still off limits, but maybe if you make him warm up to you even more you might be able to-

He loves when you help him with his wings, it's one of the best feelings out there. Fo mind that only you (and grim) can touch the wings, anyone else is off limits, ESPECIALLY ROOK HE IS FORBIDDEN TO TOUCH THEM.

Eden facts!! He has lil "ear-holes" like birds, just behind the feathers. Be careful around that part when you help him with his feathers, otherwise you might have a pouty and angry Eden on tour hands.

His eyes also glow in the dark! It's the scariest during the nightly snack runs down to the kitchen, seeing him suddenly stare at you, but you slowly get used to it!

You don't know where the extra eyes sometimes come from tho...

Also some general facts about Eden!

Dorm: Ramshackle

Birthday: 1/1

Age: ???

Height: 185cm

Fav subject: alchemy

Hobby: cleaning in ramshackle, birdwatching

Likes: you

Dislikes: Loud noises, blond 3rd year hunters named rook hunt, people trying to grab onto his wings that aren't you

Fav food: he don't need to eat to gain sustenance, bur he likes mashed potatoes with gravy

Least fav food: soup, any soup, he hates it

Btw if anyone were to write for Eden I would explode it would mean the world to me

[mikimakiboo]

Two for the price of one

Small drabble for @ancha-aus 's new au ! Double Noot ! Or as I like to call it, Noot² ! :D

( part 1 by ancha, read it before reading this one maybe- )

Very short but I just wanted to make a little something because I find the concept particularly funny :')

I didn't go too deep into the lore since the story didn't really start yet, I just did the "encounter" with the gang so that's why it is INCREDIBLY short like fr and also because I underestimated how tired I am

Quick summary: Corrupt gets separated from Nightmare (Passive Nightmare, who is still six years old), everyone is confused

Tw: slight mention of miscarriage and pregnancy denial (ik it's weird lmao but dw there is context)

How did this happen ? How did they end up here ? Like this ? How did they end up with a child on their couch when they went out to fight the Star Sanses ?

None of them was speaking, just looking at the little skeleton with lavender eyelights on their couch, the little skeleton looking terrified. They couldn't blame him, who wouldn't be after all ? He appeared.. no, came out of Corrupt, in the middle of a battle field, almost got shot with an arrow, was brought into a new place and was now surrounded by five skeletons: one with four massive tentacles, one with empty sockets and black tar leaking from them, one with a big glowing red eye and a hole in his skull, one you couldn't see his face apart from two piercing mismatched eyelights, and one with a knife almost as big as the child. He had every right to be terrified.

Killer was the one to break the silence first.

- Sooooo... Poptart ?

Corrupt looked up after a few seconds, realizing that Killer was talking to him when he saw everyone's gaze locking on him. His gang, or mates as they called each other, didn't like the name Corrupt, it had a bad connotation, one that meant that he was inherently bad, that there wasn't any good in him, which, to them, was completely false, so as they started dating they also started giving him nicknames, two that came back very often were Poptart and Sweetpie. Corrupt struggled to get used to it, being more accustomed to being insulted, just like the villagers always did. But did they insult him ? They insulted Nightmare, they insulted that little child sitting in front of him, but he wasn't Nightmare, so was he really insulted ? It didn't matter, Dream insulted him too after all, and he wasn't aiming these insults at Nightmare, but at him.

He looked at Killer, waiting for him to say whatever he had in mind.

- Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant ? Or at least tell Horror or Dust cause judging by the kid's eyelights it was one of them who got you pregnant, cause blue and red makes purple so...

Saying that Corrupt was taken aback would have been an understatement, and it didn't help that they were all staring at him, waiting for him to confirm what Killer said. The child, despite still being tensed, was visibly confused as well, but not for the same reason, because he was pretty sure he wasn't anybody's kid, and especially their kid. He would have remembered it.

- I wasn't pregnant.

Corrupt answered after a moment, making Killer frown, doubting the statement.

- Isn't that called a pregnancy denial ? I mean we didn't see you gain weight either so...

Cross asked, a little unsure of how to tackle the subject, he never had to deal with a pregnant monster before, and maybe denials were a sensitive subject, he didn't want to upset his mate by being too straight forward.

Corrupt looked at them, disconcerted.

- I wasn't pregnant, I have never been pregnant, Nightmare was.. I thought.. he was supposed to be dead !

He argued, but he only gained a compassionate look from his mates. Killer put a hand on his shoulder, looking way more serious than he was accustomed to, and he heard Cross mumble Nightmare's name.

- It's okay Poptart, you could have told us you thought you had a miscarriage, we would have supported you, you know..

Horror nodded from behind Killer, and Corrupt knew Dust thought the same even without looking at him.

- For God's sake Killer, I was not pregnant !

He claimed again, wanting to end this nonsense before it got uncontrollable. Killer was about to respond when they heard a sob. They all turned in sync, and saw the child, Nightmare, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't like the yelling, it brought back too many bad memories, memories he would have preferred to forget. Corrupt shrugged to get Killer's hand off of his shoulder and went to the child, kneeling to be on the same level as him, and carefully wiped his tears with his thumb. Nightmare flinched, backing against the couch's case, but he didn't chase Corrupt's hand away.

- Hey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled.. we're not gonna hurt you, you're safe here, you don't have to be scared..

Corrupt apologized, speaking with a soft tone to try and sooth the little one.

Nightmare looked at the goopy skeleton in front of him, still sniffling, but, somehow, he had a vague sense of déjà vu... something in him told him he had already heard those words, already felt this magic... the four white skeletons were new, that he was sure, but this black one, he was familiar...

- If you weren't pregnant... then where does he come from ?

Dust asked, sitting on the other couch, his legs still being sore from the fight. Horror had joined him, Killer and Cross were still standing.

Corrupt sighed, standing up too but staying next to the child who was now only staring at him, trying to remember where he saw him.

- That's Nightmare, the.. the true guardian of negativity, the one who allowed me to come to life by eating the apples. He started to explain as simply as he could. I.. thought he had died in the process, but turns out he was still there, just.. dormant, and invisible..

- But why show up now ?

Killer asked.

- I.. honestly, I don't know, but he's here now, and it's better he stays here.

Corrupt answered. Nightmare frowned, looking at the adult. He gave him life by eating the apples ? He did remember eating the apples from his tree, he remembered the villagers and the pitchforks, he remembered someone told him to let go when he took his first bite, they told him they would protect him, but he had to give up his mind and body. At that time, Nightmare didn't think much, he was already so scared, he would have done anything for someone to fight for him, to protect him, and when he heard this voice, he knew it was his only way out, and he gave up everything, his vision fading to black as he felt everything become numb. This skeleton had the same voice, and he was emanating negativity, a pure one, the same that emanated from his apples. Was he the voice ? He seemed so big... not as big as the other skeletons, but much bigger than him, especially with those tentacles coming from his back. Nightmare remembered his back hurting a lot more than the rest of his body, was it because of the tentacles ? They seemed to be heavy... he slowly reached out to the one that was the closest to him, putting his hand on the appendage, it was surprisingly soft and a little cold too... he felt the negativity swarm up around his hand, resonating with his own...

Corrupt looked down when he felt the child touch his tentacle. He didn't move it, letting him discover it as he pleased.

- So.. we're just gonna take care of a kid now ? Not that I want to abandon him, I sure don't, but.. are we qualified to do that ?

Cross hesitantly asked, tugging on his jacket. This castle was full of dangerous things for a child, and they weren't the most welcoming monsters either, even if he knew no one would hurt Nightmare, maybe he would be better with someone more qualified, like a Toriel or even an Asgore, monsters who had the parental instinct in their codes...

- We'll have to be..

Horror quietly said, looking at the little child on the couch, he had the same amazement in his eyes when looking at the tentacle that his brother always had before the famine took hold of everything...

Killer and Dust shared a look, not sure that they could raise a child. They raised their brother, but it ended up... pretty badly, they weren't sure they could raise someone properly after that. Cross was different, sure he killed his brother too, but he lived through so many different timelines, so many in which he was a good brother, in which he actually was caring until the end, he could manage to raise a child if he wanted to, if he trusted himself enough to do so, but them ? They would probably need to keep their distance, at least for a moment, at least until the kid started to learn how to fight back.

- I trust you all to look out for him, every one of you.

Corrupt assured, looking at his two mates from whom he had felt a peak of negativity. He knew what they were thinking about, but he also knew they wouldn't be a threat for the child, the simple fact that they felt apprehension from the thought of doing so alone was enough proof for him.

- For now he needs a bath, he said, Nightmare's bones and clothes being stained from the goop, I'll take care of it. Killer, you can go with Cross in Littletale and gather some clothes for him. Be careful not to be seen, we don't want the stars to know about that.

Killer nodded after a brief look to the child, and him and Cross disappeared in a portal, going to complete their mission.

- What about us ?

Dust asked.

- Horror can go cook dinner, with an extra dish, and you go to the infirmary and heal yourself, don't think I didn't notice you couldn't move your arm.

Dust didn't respond, only looking down in shame, he thought he hid it well...

Corrupt sighed, turning his attention to the little skeleton once they were alone. Nightmare had looked up when Cross opened the portal for him and Killer to leave, clenching on the tentacle, and was now staring at Corrupt, alert.

- Who... who are they... ?

The child hesitantly asked in a whisper, his voice quiet as he hadn't used it in five hundred years. He already knew who Corrupt was, he said it, but who were the others ? Were they the surviving villagers ? Would they try to finish the job ? What did they want from him ? Why bring him back with them ? Surely it couldn't be good, it has never been good when someone wanted him to stay somewhere...

- They are my... my partners, they have been working with me for many years, they won't harm you, I trust them. You can trust them, too, and if anything, I'll be here to protect you.

He tried to explain as simply as he could. He felt Nightmare relax a little, even if he could still feel his fear deep inside his soul, the child seemed to believe him, maybe because his feelings were clear and not tainted with mischief or bad intentions, or because Nightmare remembered who he was and knew he could at least rely on him a little.

Corrupt knew Nightmare wouldn't trust them straight from the beginning, but if he at least believed they wouldn't hurt him, then it was a good start, because now that he was here, Corrupt would never let him go out. He needed to protect him, he swore to him that he would protect him from the very moment he came to life, it was his whole purpose.

He wouldn't fail.

[soapssuds]

I was wondering...Aventurine's s/o who sometimes is misgendered as a man (fem! reader)

Any thoughts? 👀

I have many thoughts about this anon, some I would definitely like to share 🤭

Let's see, to me, if you're being misgendered and Aventurine just so happens to see it, then I can see it happening in the workplace, at the casino, or on a date.

But mostly at the workplace because lets face it, the IPC haven't exactly been painting themselves as the good guys lately 😐 and I can see a few of your coworkers being this way (be it new employees who do it by accident or stubborn old ones who are just plain rude).

"You should go ask him. He knows a lot about the subject and could help out with the project."

You weren't far away from the people who were having the conversation since you all were in the same office, and since it was such a small office housing only seven or so desks, it was easy to hear every single conversation and know who was talking about who.

"Thank you, I will!"

You didn't want to turn away from your computer despite the heavy thumps of footsteps coming up behind you. Instead, you tried to ignore it and continue typing away at your report. Your eyes heavy and focused on the computer as your fingers mercilessly hit the innocent keys.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?"

You resisted the urge to groan aloud. This always happens. Mainly for two reasons. One, the stubborn fool who keeps misgendering you refuses to acknowledge that you're a woman. And two, the same stubborn fool insists to new employees of the IPC that you're a man and should be referred to as such.

And with a final tap on your shoulder, you sighed. Your feet planted on the ground as you swiveled your chair around.

"That's ma'am to you."

The new recruit was quick to fumble and bowed, "I'm sorry, ma'am! I was told that you could help me with- blah blah blah blah blah," you couldn't care about what he was saying. Not when your alarm went off, signaling your lunch break.

"Sounds interesting newbie, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lunch."

You didn't let the new employee get another word in as you got up and did a little stretch before walking out of the office while also being sure to ignore the smug looking bastard who waved at you while you left. Working in such a place exhausted you, and you hoped to hide your tiredness when you met up with the one person who made it all worth it. But...he noticed immediately the moment you sat down in his comfy couch in his own personal office.

He was already beside you when you sat down, and instead of grabbing his own food, his mesmerizing eyes bore into you.

"What's wrong?"

His voice always sounded tender when he talked with you, especially when he knows you've been having a bad day. He doesn't use his condescending voice or the voice he finely tunes to get people to like him. He is just ... being himself. Granted it's behind closed doors, but you were thankful that he didn't wear his bluff around you.

"It's...," to be honest, you've been dealing with this coworker for a long whilen now, and even though it's hurts being called something you're not, you thought you could handle it yourself. Though, lately, it's just been getting harder, "it's just this coworker of mine. He ... he keeps misgendering me. I know it sounds stupid and that I'm probably just being too sensitive but..."

"Name."

"Huh?"

"The name, give me the name of this coworker of yours," Aventurine said smoothly as he leaned into you, his arm slung around your shoulders as his fingers lightly twirled a strand of your hair between his fingertips. His warmth immediately engulfed you into a comforting embrace that you couldn't help but lean into. Despite being such a calculating person, he always had a way of disarming you and making you feel safe.

"Aven... it's nothing. I just, I just need to vent a little is all."

"Venting is great and all, but that doesn't solve the problem. Besides, who told you that you're being too sensitive anyway? Being hurt over something isn't something to be ashamed of. So, the name. Give it to me, and i can make it all better. Promise."

His tone held that usually lilt in his voice that scratched your ears just right. Honestly, he could be telling you the nightmares within a black hole, and you would be putty in his hands.

And so, with little resistance, you relinquished the name of the stubborn coworker who keeps giving you trouble. Granted, you did worry that you were getting special privileges since your boyfriend was in a higher station than you, but don't worry about that. You are Aventurine's significant other after all, there is nothing wrong with relying on him every once and awhile. ;)

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FOUR (MONACO)

genre: fluff, angst, etc.

warnings: heartbreak as usual

word count: 5.3k (like, exactly 5.3k. on the word. 😭)

author's note: it feels so wrong to say that im posting this to celebrate ollie's graduation to f1 because... this is such a sad chapter.... pain pain pain for everyone involved (especially ollie) 💔 but yay happy ollie f1 announcement day!!! hope you're all doing well & hope you enjoy <3 (also i wrote a lot of this chapter back in february? and proofreading it today nearly brought me to tears bcs of ollie-)

series masterlist

the career of a racing driver is a roller coaster for everyone involved.

if your name is max verstappen, then you've got more ups than most others. that roller coaster seems pretty fun.

but if your name is y/n harper, then your roller coaster isn't as fun these days. but if there’s ever a place to turn things around, it's monaco.

even just the track walk is enough to bring up your mood after a bad week like last. walking along the monegasque streets, almost getting hit by cars as you sign autographs and take pictures with fans... it's an experience you just can't find anywhere else.

coincidentally enough, ollie is done with the track walk just as you are, which means that the two of you can make your way back to the f2 paddock together. your boyfriend has always loved monaco – he pretty much doesn't ever shut up about the track and it's history unless you tape his mouth shut when you're in the country. that's why it's surprising that he not only brings up another subject, but also that he chooses a quite sensitive one – your father.

"he's going to be here this weekend, right?" ollie asks, stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. he seemingly doesn't quite understand just how tense things are with your dad yet. to be fair, it isn't really his fault, since you haven't told him and since he isn't a mind-reader. but still, something in your chest tightens at the way ollie brings him up so casually.

you nod. "you know how much he adores monaco," you say with a sigh, before putting on your best impression of your dad. "the most iconic track ever, the only track to ever... blah blah blah."

having your dad along for races was always a given when you were younger. he was your best helmet carrier, your number-one supporter, and the first person you went to when celebrating or complaining.

but somewhere along the years, having him around started to become more problematic and anxiety-inducing. his support turned into criticism, and it became far more common for him to tell you to "go apologize to the engineers and ask them what you should do to perform better tomorrow" rather than give you any constructive feedback of his own.

at first, it was rough; the man who had always been your pillar to lean on, your main source of support, your safe haven, was seemingly gone. you continued to perform well, though you weren't sure if that was because you wanted to make him proud or if you were terrified of making him disappointed.

"let's have dinner with him someday, then," ollie suggests as the two of you come to a stop right outside the prema garage for the weekend. "maybe sunday, if we have things to celebrate?"

"let's hope so."

pepe calls your name once, twice, thrice, before he resorts to shaking your shoulder gently. his touch, along with the sound of the spaniard's raspy laughter, makes you finally wake from your slumber. you blink up at him, eyes droopy and mind empty. "what?"

"why are you sleeping?" pepe asks, shaking his head. "quali starts in... about an hour."

you begin to slowly push yourself up from the couch you've been lying on, yawning loudly. "i was supposed to just rest my eyes," you start, rubbing your eyes with your hands. "i didn't mean to fall asleep..."

"did you not sleep well last night? were you up late again?" pepe asks as he sits down next to you, watching you stretch your arms over your head with yet another yawn.

what are you supposed to say? yes, i was up until four am because i couldn't find any peace of mind at all? i've been dreading every second of this weekend because i never know when my dad will appear from around the corner? i'm scared he's going to be so mad over my performances that he disowns me?

pepe may know a lot of what's going on with your father, but he doesn't need to know this much.

you did, in fact, meet him earlier today, right before practice – if greeting him briefly and then instantly bolting in the opposite direction counts as a "meeting" – but since then, he's been nowhere to be seen. not even around dino or ollie when you last saw the two of them.

pepe takes your silence as an answer in itself, and he lets out a hum. "well, i'm quite nervous myself," he says frankly, pulling a hand through his hair.

"you did so well here last year, though." you nudge his shoulder with yours. "you'll be great again, i'm sure of it."

"dinner with the prince on sunday? both of us?"

you nod, shooting your friend a smile. "of course." but despite how much you wish it would become a reality, there's not even the slightest trace of faith in you. the only thing you can think about is how likely it is for this round to go in the same footsteps as your recent ones.

a great attitude to bring into a race weekend.

p9.

a top ten placement, sure. second in the reverse grid, sure. but other than that, there's not much positive in it. it's a step in the right direction, but in some way, it feels like a step that's way too short.

the sprint race starts with an incident right by you on the track, which is extremely unlucky for you since you get pretty much blocked and have nowhere to go. after being passed by several cars, the safety car finally comes out, and you find yourself in p7.

of course your father's words echo in your head all the way through the safety car period. "starting p2 means a free podium," he had told you when he stopped by right before you were getting into your car. "don't mess it up."

you're so focused on that expression on his face, the way he tilted his chin up and his head slightly to the side as he spoke, and the way it felt like your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, that you don't even realize that your engineer has told you about the safety car being about to end. you don't even acknowledge the fact that the race leader has taken off, nor that the rest of the field starts pushing again before it's too late.

some blue car tries to overtake you on the outside, and with another car on your inside you have no chance of giving either of them space – and you manage to crash into them both. not only did you ruin your own race, but also two other drivers'.

and of course, one of the cars buried into the wall next to yours is a silver hitech with a big number 17 on it.

climbing out of your car, you can hear several voices calling out for all three of you from the grandstand nearby, and you consider throwing them a wave as you climb through the metal fence to get off the track. but then, you hear one voice that's more familiar – one that belongs to the last person you want to talk to right now. "are you alright?"

you almost don't look at him, but the little glance you shoot him is enough to take in every single bit of disappointment in his eyes. what are the odds that your dad was sitting in the grandstand right where you crashed?

a nod is enough of an answer you reckon, pulling your helmet off your head and beginning to walk the way towards the paddock again. "do you want me to carry that?" your dad asks, having gotten past the security guards after showing his pass, now jogging to catch up with you.

"i'm not ten anymore," you groan. "i can handle it on my own."

"i wasn't saying you can't-" he cuts himself off, placing a hand on your shoulder. "you looked really out of it out there."

you keep your gaze forwards so he won't see you rolling your eyes at his words, determined steps carrying you forward quickly as you shake his hand off. "oh, you could see through my visor? that's cool."

"what's gotten into you lately?" your dad pushes, and you flinch slightly at the harsh tone in his voice. "what's wrong with you?"

"what do you mean?"

"well, frankly, your driving had been shit recently." your eyes snap to him when he speaks, eyebrows furrowed. "it looks like you're not even trying."

you stay silent for a long while, trying to navigate your way back – and to a place where your dad hopefully won't be allowed – but you can't help but scoff. "thank's a lot."

"what? am i wrong?"

"yes, you're wrong!" you finally stop in your tracks, fully facing him by now. a hand goes up to your hair, pulling on it to relieve at least some tension. "i'm trying my best, i-"

"is there something going wrong with ollie?" your jaw drops. "i'll talk to him, i'll settle it with him."

"don't you dare!" you exclaim. "there's nothing wrong with ollie, okay?!"

"then what is wrong with you? why can't you score ten points in nine races?"

that's it – you're going to completely lose it if this goes on for even one more second. "leave me the fuck alone," you tell him, turning your head away so he won't get a chance to see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

the worst part of it all? the fact that you agree with him. the fact that you can't even argue against it; nine points in five rounds is not a good result at all.

surprisingly enough, he doesn't follow you when you hurry away, allowing you to get to the paddock alone. the silence doesn't mean you can hold back from crying, however; it doesn't take long before your cheeks are stained with your tears, your breaths growing quicker and quicker for every step you take. navigating the paddock with blurry vision is hard, and you're basically just relying on muscle memory to take you back to the right part of the garage. just as you're rounding a corner, you bump into someone – someone whose white suit and broad, muscular shoulders are easy to recognize even through your tears.

the other last person you want to talk to right now.

"hey there," he says, a hand coming up to your shoulder to keep you steady as you stumble a little upon the impact with his chest. "are you- woah, are you crying?"

"leave me alone, paul."

he lets out a little chuckle, one he regrets in hindsight because it makes him sound like he thinks the state you're in is funny. "i can't just walk away when you're this upset, can i?" he asks, having to use all of his willpower to hold back from wiping away a few tears from your cheeks. "is it about the crash? i'm not mad at you, and i don't think victor is either-"

"i couldn't care less about the stupid crash!" you explode, a few sobs following your words. "i'm just- i can't-"

paul's eyes widen in surprise at your outburst, hand on your shoulder slipping further along so he's got his arm draped across your shoulders and it's easier for him to force you to walk with him. now it's your turn to have to hold back, wanting nothing more than to lean into his chest and just let out all of your tears. he pushes you with him into the hitech truck, looking around the lounge area to make sure no one's there before guiding you to sit on one of the sofas there. "what's going on? did something happen?"

"i'm a bad driver, that's what happened." paul slumps into the seat right next to you, eyebrows raised when he hears you speak. "i don't belong here, i don't know what i'm doing, i-"

"hey hey hey," he cuts you off with a shake of his head. "what have we said about this?"

you look down at the floor, wiping away a few tears from your cheek as you continue to sniffle in the silence that fills the area. a burning feeling spreads through your chest at his words, the familiarity of it all making your head spin. it isn't the first time you've been like this in front of him; through the almost entire year you dated, there were quite a few times when he'd have to console you after a breakdown. paul knows your issues like the back of his hand, he knows how hard it can be to convince you that you do belong. but he also knows to never give up.

"you are a great driver," he starts, hesitating for a moment before letting his hand rub your shoulder. the action makes your breath hitch in your throat, but not because it's wrong – it's because you've missed his touch, probably far more than you've admitted to yourself before now.

"even my lousy dad thinks i'm bad," you finally get out in-between sniffles, resting your face in your hands.

"and since when do you care about his opinion, huh?"

he's right. at least partially. but still, you remain hunched over, shaking your head. "i may act like it doesn't matter, but… him calling me all kinds of things…" paul allows you to gather your thoughts, his touch remaining gentle over your racing suit. "it hurt. a lot."

he hums understandingly, letting out a sigh. "when is that stupid little brain of yours going to understand that you're doing well?" his words should bring a smile to your lips – a few months ago, they would've. but now, you don't react at all. "no matter what he says, no matter what the critics say. you're a good driver."

after another few moments of silence, you drop your hands to your lap and look at him. there's a hint of curiousity in his eyes, surprised by your sudden eye contact. "why do you even care?" you question. he's been acting like a complete idiot these past few months – and after you literally cursed him out in melbourne, you haven't spoken a word to each other. and yet, he's taking time out of his day to comfort you like he would a year ago.

"come on…" he presses his lips together in a firm line, shaking his head. "no matter what happens between us, i'll always look after you."

his words, and maybe especially your emotional reaction to them, take you by surprise. despite the anger and frustration you've built up over the last few months, there's an undeniable warmth in his gaze that softens your defenses. the feeling of nostalgia and longing is so strong it's almost painful, as if he has reminded you of a connection you thought had been lost forever.

it's quite strange, considering everything that's happened. but you're not opposed to it.

"how are you feeling after the crash?" paul asks to break the silence as you reach up to dry away the last of your tears from your cheeks. "that was a big impact you had. i got away lightly in comparison."

for the first time since the crash, you stop to actually think about it and allow yourself to feel through your body. the adrenaline from the race has worn off by now, and there's a throbbing in your head that seems to just grow stronger by the second. "i think… i'm alright…"

"do you want me to go get ollie for you? the race should be done by now," he says, checking the clock on the wall in the truck. "he can take you to go see a medic."

you shake your head instantly. "please, don't. for real."

paul shoots you a strange, confused look, though he gives you a slight nod. "okay, but you have to tell him," he says, pausing a second before continuing. "i know that head of yours, you're going to combust if you keep hiding this. you can't go through it alone."

"i promise."

you don't end up going to the medical center.

you do, however, go find ollie yourself – but you don't tell him about your chat with paul. instead, you hope he doesn't take notice of the not-so-subtle signs that you've just had a complete meltdown.

it's easy to break promises to people who you don't need to stay truthful to, you realize. last year, you wouldn't even think about breaking a promise to paul – but an ex boyfriend is much easier to lie to.

your current boyfriend wraps his arms around you the second you step close enough. his lips press to the side of your head, his arms giving you another squeeze before pulling away.

ollie has gotten used to your red eyes.

he's gotten used to the sight of your tearstained cheeks, the slight pout on your lips, the heaviness in your sighs.

he's gotten used to the sinking feeling in his stomach, the pain in his chest, the guilt.

but he's also gotten used to not asking, because he knows you won't tell.

when you wake up on feature race day, something is different. it's like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders after talking to paul; like the air is suddenly much easier to breathe, and the whole world seems a little lighter. you're much more excited for the feature race of the day than any race so far this season.

in today's race, it's ollie's time to crash out. it isn't his fault, though; he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got squeezed up against the wall by a trident car. there was nothing he could do.

as soon as he's deemed free of injuries, he makes his way back to the prema garage, joining the team in watching the rest of the race. it's a good one for you; choosing to go with the opposite strategy has really worked out for you so far, with you and zak o'sullivan being the only two drivers in the top who haven't pitted yet.

ollie follows your car intently on the screen in the garage, secretly hoping for a safety car to come out and help you out with your strategy as it's nearing the last few laps. he almost doesn't pull out of his trance even when a hand lands on his shoulder. "she's doing great," dino says from behind him, the brit nodding along to his words. "especially considering... well, she must've told you about yesterday, so i won't repeat it to you."

yesterday?

ollie looks dumbfounded for a moment before he composes himself, though he has no idea what the swede is talking about. "of course."

dino lets out a chuckle, patting his friend's shoulder. "paul said she was a complete mess when he found her," he continues, not realizing he's giving ollie more clues to help figure out what in the world he's talking about. "her anxiety was all over the place, apparently. but she's recovering, she's strong. she won't let this affect her."

ollie hums agreeingly at his words, eyes still glued to the tv in front of him. "certainly," he finally gets out. "she'll get through it with ease."

and so you did – at least for this particular race.

the virtual safety car was incredibly lucky, but that's racing sometimes. with both you and zak changing your tyres in the last lap, you both managed to end up ahead of the rest of the field, and secure a podium each.

unlike in jeddah, seeing paul's car pull up right next to yours on parc ferme isn't all that bad. after yesterday's heart-to-heart with him, you feel like at least part of this podium is thanks to him. if it weren't for his encouragement, you likely would've stuck it in the wall again.

you don't ignore him this time. you don't scoff at his words, you don't feel frustrated at his mere presence. this time, you give him a tight hug when he comes over to congratulate you, arms around his shoulders forcing him close.

"thank you," you can't help but whisper, and paul is grinning from ear to ear when he pulls away from the hug.

"don't," he answers with a quick shake of his head. "you could always pull this off. you just needed a little reminder."

and not only do your shoulders and mind feel a bit lighter as you step onto that monaco podium, but most importantly, your heart.

"i'm exhausted," you huff as you shrug your bag off your shoulders, leaving it by the door as ollie, too, makes his way into the hotel room. "thank god this weekend is finally over."

you dive onto his already-made bed, landing face-down between the pillows and blankets. the bed is huge, probably over two meters in width, and unbelievably soft. it's the first time you feel like you can truly relax since you got to monaco, and every single cell in your body thanks you for allowing them to rest a little.

"and i don't even have any sim sessions scheduled in over a week. i'm the luckiest person ever." ollie lets out a chuckle at this, his own bag crashing to the floor with a thud before his feet carry him deeper inside the room.

you turn your head and watch as he picks out a water bottle from the mini fridge, but he doesn't drink from it. instead, he makes his way to the bed, choosing to just stand next to it at first. you can't really read his expression, so you speak up – but he beats you to it. "ollie-"

"can we talk?"

you press your hands into the mattress, sitting up properly. "of course," you say, a look of unknowing dejection spreading across your features. "what's wrong?"

"that's... what i wanted to ask you, actually." ollie finally sits down on the bed, but on the opposite side of it, far from you. "what's going on? what happened yesterday?"

"oh, well..." you pause for a second, eyebrows rising as you try to find an explanation. "i just had a bad day, i didn't realize that the safety car-"

"i don't mean the race, i mean what happened after the race." his eyes are piercing into yours, not missing even the slightest movement of your face now. you've got his full attention. "with paul."

your breath hitches in your throat and you instantly look away. your voice is as low as a whisper when you speak again. "i can't believe he told you..."

"he didn't. it was someone else, but that's beside the point." you don't know if you should feel relieved that paul didn't tell ollie, or furious that he told someone else who then told ollie, but you don't have any time to think before his voice infiltrates your thoughts again. "i heard you were... i'm not going to use the same word he did, but i heard you were really upset. something about anxiety, or..."

he hopes you'll pick up where he trailed off, and despite how you're really not in the mood for this conversation right now, it feels unavoidable. "i guess... yesterday's race was really rough on me. and my racing has felt really bad recently, the anxiety has been through the roof, and..." your eyes land on your hands, watching as your fingers tremble slightly in your lap. "i don't know. something about yesterday just triggered it all again."

out of the corner of your eye, you can see ollie nodding understandingly. "how long have you been feeling like this?"

"since always, basically." a single teardrop rolls down your cheek before you even notice that you've started tearing up. you hurry to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. "my mom likes to tell this story about how i used to cry if i performed poorly when i was jumping rope in kindergarten. or about how one time, i came home sobbing over the fact that i thought i was getting kicked out of kindergarten because my drawings weren't as good as the other kids'." the old stories bring a soft smile to your lips, one that soon disappears when you shake your head and squeeze your eyes shut. "it's not usually this bad, but…"

you sigh.

"it's like... imposter syndrome. i'm one of the very few women in motorsports, and i can't help but think that i'm just here because the fia wants to make the sport more equal. or because my sponsors think it's funny to have a woman among the men. or if i'm just here as eye candy. i don't deserve this, i don't have enough talent."

your little rant makes him speechless – both because he didn't expect it at all, and because to him, you're so wrong.

"you're here because you do deserve it and because you consistently perform good results, unlike most other drivers. that has nothing to do with your gender." ollie pauses for a second. "if you didn't have enough talent, you wouldn't be performing this well in a series this hard."

you can't hold back the little smile that slips onto your lips. "this is all very sweet, and i really appreciate it. but it's not that easy for me to just accept what you're saying."

yet again, he nods. "i understand." his voice is so calm, so gentle, so patient. it makes your heart soften. "i'll make sure to remind you of it more often, so that maybe it sticks."

"thank you, ollie."

a long silence follows, and you take the time to brush away a few more tears that have left your eyes. you don't know what to say or how to follow up on this heavy subject, but you don't have to think much more.

"why did you go to paul instead of me?"

your eyes dart to him at the sudden question. he's sounded so composed and calm, but he actually looks quite... nervous? his fingers are fiddling with the lid of the water bottle in his hands, and his entire upper body looks like it's trembling slightly as he breathes. "i didn't," you tell him simply. it's not a lie, per se. "he just happened to walk in on me crying."

"but why did you tell him?" ollie questions, looking up at you from the bottle. "i thought you two weren't even talking these days? ever since that fight you had?"

he is right. you don't even know why you confided in him yourself – it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. you didn't even try to deny his help; you welcomed it (and him) with open arms.

"we talked about my struggles last year," you finally say, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. "so he knew already. and… i don't know, i guess it felt nice to talk to someone who really knows me."

"but i want to know you." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "i want to know more than your birthday and your favorite color. i want to know it all; what makes you feel good, what makes you anxious, what keeps you going, what slows you down..."

the physical distance between you two may only be a mere two meters, but you feel much more separated than that. you totally understand where he's coming from – he might be exaggerating a little, but your conversations with him are never really deep. though not sure whether it's because you just don't trust him or because you just have a hard time opening up, you can understand the despair he must be feeling.

when ollie notices that you aren't too keen on saying anything, he keeps going. "i want you to trust me. i want to be the person you tell these things to." he scoots closer to you on the bed, one of his hands landing on top of your knee. "i really want to make this work between us. my feelings for you are so strong, just..."

the pain in his eyes is so intense it sends a shiver down your spine, his gaze cutting through you like a knife. your own eyes begin to well up again, but you can't look away now.

"i really want you to give this, give me, a chance."

you've never seen him like this before. hopeless, desperate, practically begging. and in an instant, the guilt comes creeping back into you.

you're the one who's making him feel like this; it's all your fault. and how cruel wouldn't it be to not at least give him an honest chance?

"of course." your voice is weak and shaky, but you nod. "i want that, too. really."

ollie drops his water bottle to the floor before opening his arms wide for you. "come here."

it's easy to climb into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he holds you close. it's easy to lean into him, to inhale his sweet scent, and it's so easy to relax.

you wish it was as easy to open up to him. oh, how badly you wish it was as easy as a-b-c or do-re-mi. you really want to let him in; you, too, want this to work.

the silence that follows is a comfortable one. the air feels thick with unspoken emotions, a heaviness of the previous conversation still lingering, but there's an unspoken understanding between you and ollie. the previously well-known weight of the world on your shoulders seems to lift, if only momentarily; his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back is like a silent reassurance that he's there, he's present, and he's willing to wait for you to open up in your own time.

after what feels like an eternity, ollie breaks the silence. "let's do something. let's go on a vacation together."

you lean back slightly, just enough to look at his face but stay in his hold. "…what?"

your reaction isn't exactly what he had hoped for, but he goes on. "i'm going back to italy this week, you should come with me." he reaches up with a hand to your face, thumb softly massaging away the frown you hadn't even noticed had formed. "we'll travel around, go see the national parks, hike in the mountains... swim in the sea, eat at good italian restaurants..."

your features soften at his suggestions; it all does sound very sweet. still, you can't hold back from asking, "but why?"

"we have almost a month until the next race weekend, and you said that you don't have any sims this week. this could help take your mind off racing, and..." a sheepish smile appears on his face. "maybe it could make us get a little closer."

uncertainties and conflicting thoughts continue to cloud your heart, making the decision harder than it should be. on one hand, accepting the offer could offer a much-needed reprieve from all the pressures of the racing world. on the other hand, your unresolved feelings for paul still hold you back. spending a romantic holiday with ollie sounds like a dream, just as much as the mere thought of revealing yourself to him makes you nauseous from the fear.

but you want to be brave. and maybe to let go of paul, you need to just forget about your worries and dive head-first into ollie.

"it sounds perfect. let's do it."

yourusername just posted!

yourusername we're back baby!! leaving monaco with some good points. 🔜 barcelona and the team's home race, let's go 😁

show all 78 comments

user finally back on the podium! ❤️💙

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user great drive today !!!

→ user it was just luck 😭 without the vsc she would've never gotten that podium

→ user okay and??

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

olliebearman what's up with the hair dinobeganovic_

→ yourusername it's called fashion

→ dinobeganovic_ it's called waking up at 5 for a feature race

→ user you're still gorgeous dino 😚

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

redbulljuniorteam 💪💙❤️

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

sebasmontoya58 pepe don't punch the girl, she did nothing wrong

→ yourusername i did nothing wrong!!!

→ pepemartiofficial tell him what you did

→ yourusername never

→ pepemartiofficial sebas check your whatsapp

→ yourusername YOU WOULDNT

→ pepemartiofficial i totally would

[spiderfunkz]

✦ SPIDER SOUP.

— summary : peter does not know how to use chopsticks.

— word count : 0,5k

— warnings : fluff, food, reader teasing peter, kinda mean-ish reader, established relationship, pet names.

a/n : ramen dates with peter :D

"are you watching me eat?"

peter questions, furrowing his brows.

you could see the reflection of street lights flickering as moonlight lit the sky. it was your third date with peter after officially dating, and you wanted to choose the location.

so, you chose the ramen joint you've been going to ever since you were a kid. it felt so nice to be eating there again, and it felt better because peter is now with you.

you scoff, "no. i just. do you not know how to use chopsticks?"

you tilt your head in confusion. peter was quick to defend himself. "i do. actually. look."

he says, slurping his noodles, centimeters away from the bowl. "i am looking." you nod, "but you do know you can bring the food up to your mouth, right?"

"yeah, but it doesn't look as cool."

"oh, because moving your entire face under your ramen isn't weird at all."

"it isn't." he shook his head. you look around for the familiar waiter, "you can ask for a fork, you know? or i can ask for you. because if i were you, i would be embarrassed."

"no. absolutely not. that means admitting defeat." he stated. "i didn't know eating ramen was a sensitive subject towards your pride." you smirk.

"it is." peter grumbled. "especially because you'd laugh at me." he added.

"eh, maybe i'll giggle a bit."

"you're mean."

"no i'm not. i'm paying for our meal."

"that's one good thing out of a sea of bad things."

you raise your brow, "really? what else have i done?" — "you took me out on this date."

"i thought that was considered a good thing." you pout, mocking peter. "it was, until you chose a place with chopsticks."

"in my defense, you said you knew how to use them."

at this point, peter was contemplating whether he should just give up and get a fork.

"i'll teach you how to properly use them." you reach for his chopsticks. but he refuses, "no. this is a matter of pride."

"okay. sorry. please continue to use your chopsticks, peter."

"i will, thanks." he continues to slurp his noodles. you try to hold your laugh as you notice that the tip of his nose has some soup dripping from it.

peter notices you, not the soup on the tip of his nose. "stop smiling."

"i'm not doing anything." you shrug your shoulders.

"you're about to say something about how i eat again."

"i swear i wasn't." you so were.

"then why are you smiling?" he asks. "because it feels like you're finally letting your guard down around me." you reply.

"and that's the reason you're staring?"

"i wasn't staring. i was looking. and if you really need to know, you're quite attractive." you tease knowing how flustered peter can get.

"this is so stupid. i'm getting a fork." his face turns red, in both embarrassment, and by the thought of you calling him attractive.

"but you were doing so well with your chopsticks!"

[nov4-rocket5]

Okay, so a lot of people are saying that Joon The King deadnames and deliberately used unflattering photos of Lily Orchard in his latest video.

The latter is pretty subjective, all the photos were of Lily post-coming out that she posted herself (and she really hasn’t changed much since posting them either); and the former claim is just… blatantly incorrect.

Joon clarifies Lily used to go by a different name once, and he says this because a lot of the archived footage and chats come from Lily pre-transition, and didn’t want the audience to get confused. He uses Lily's preferred name and pronouns the entire video, even when chats he's reading are of Lily's previous identity.

Keeping archival information unaltered is super important, both for the sake of Lily’s timeline, and the validity of Joon’s research. You start changing details out of a sense of 'respect' and you open up the question of what else you’re willing to change and censor. Maintaining the integrity and trust in your research is vital for communicating points. Especially when those points involve very heinous, very sensitive topics. If Joon had edited/censored the footage and chats, people would have searched for, found, and posted it anyway. It also would have probably led to Lily just claiming Joon falsified/doctored shots to make her look bad.

Joon isn't a DramaTuber, he's a documenter. And as a documenter, Joon presents information, in this case about Lily's online history and actions, and leaves it to the viewer to decide what to make of it. Joon doesn't moral police his audience, he set up that she is Lily and only chose to highlight her previous identity when it was relevant as a side fact (Joon doesn't even call her a cis male, just that she was still presenting that way), and trusted the audience he’s cultivated to not bully and harass people.

Current footage is used of Lily, current names and pronouns are used for Lily, and he makes it clear that Blake is a person who doesn't believe Lily's really trans but makes a brief counterpoint to Blake’s stance, and leaves it to the audience to make their own conclusions. Joon’s video is purely informational and intends to inform people about Lily and her long pattern of established behavior even before her current channel and Tumblr.

Joon encouraged discussion with Lily's current name and identity intelligently and gracefully. Knowing Lily’s deadname is just that - a name Lily was once known as, but she is Lily now. Since most people aren't rioting in the comments and keeping a level-head saying "she's Lily, these are her terrible crimes not just as a trans woman", Joon was successful. Only idiots and douchebags will directly harrass Lily with "hurr durr you will never be a yadda yadda". And Lily will no doubt just make those strawmen herself. Lily routinely thrives off chances to use her status as a trans woman “of color” to prove all her critics are just mean ol’ racist phobes.

And the simple truth of the matter is, Lily isn't some delicate ornament that will shatter to pieces at the slightest bit of transphobia; Lily is an easily-angered, pathological liar and manipulator who would hurt anyone in any way if she sincerely believed she could get away with it.

[utilitycaster]

Now that it's out in the public feed I highly recommend listening to the bonus Re-Slayer's Take episode with Dani Carr (even if you don't listen to the Re-Slayer's Take, though there are a few spoilers for it within). I think it covers some of the many complexities and challenges of information management and canonicity for an ongoing, very long improvised show! There's a lot of judgement calls to be made - some of the early C1 information especially is a legacy of a less-developed Exandria, and a lot of information throughout is given to the players and therefore the audience via in-world sources subject to all the biases, mistakes, and even deliberate dishonesty those sources may carry. We just had an entire miniseries showing that the historical account of an event might be greatly simplified in the retelling. The Curse of Strife and the origin of orcs have both been changed since the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting came out for a combination of on the fly improv and sensitivity reasons, just to name a couple of examples. Anyway, Dani's take on this is great and everyone should spend half an hour listening to this while we wait for the SDCC panel to be posted.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Yandere Husk Would Include:

The grumpy sinner cat man is the type that wouldn’t be openly crazily obsessed. He’d be more of a possessive, ‘protect you’ kind of yandere. Though, he would be slightly controlling as well. Though, you can bet you’d be treated like royalty when it came to his caring side for you.

He’d be the type to take care of you, even if you were injured a tiny bit; he’d act like you were dying. He’d be very affectionate and loving when it came to you, though still slightly possessive as well. It’d be like he was two different people.

He wouldn’t want you at all hurt or in harm's way. Because he’d be so possessive over you, if you were in danger, he’d probably beat the crap out of whoever harmed you; or worse.

He would be completely clingy. Always following you around. He’d be protective of you. He’d love you unconditionally. He’d be so in love with you, and he’d make sure you felt the same way.

He would have a hard time expressing himself, though. He’s not a words-of-affection-kind-of-guy, nor is he good at words in general. Though he does still have a soft and warm interior, he hides well. He would be charming, caring, kind, loyal, and patient, and do everything he can to protect you, even if he complains about it.

He’d also love to give you attention since he doesn’t know how else to show you he cares. But he’d get upset if you tried to give your attention to others, causing him to be possessive and get jealous - which would lead him to isolate you from all your friends and keep you away from others, no matter the cost. And even if you didn’t cheat, he’d be insanely possessive of you. To the point where he’d get pissed if a man even looked at you in his sight.

He’d give you everything in his power to take you and run somewhere where it’s just you and him. He’d never let anyone take you. His love makes him possessive, like, insanely possessive. He’d be so jealous of other’s attention to you that he’d isolate you to the point it’s uncomfortable for you.

He’d be the type to love to have you dress up for him. Also, the type to give you pet names like, ‘babe, baby, sweetheart, or doll.’ In general, any pet names are just terms of endearment and care. He’d love to call you that and tell you how pretty you are in some form of ‘dressy’ clothing. He’d be so affectionate to you, like, even holding the door open for you, taking your coat, etc. anything to show his chivalry and care towards you and how he owns you.

He’d be very insecure, and worry about you leaving him constantly. Especially if another demon or human came to flirt with you. He just wouldn’t be able to stand it. In fact, he’d isolate you to the point you didn’t have much of a social life, if at all, because of his insecurities and obsessiveness over you.

He’d be incredibly receptive to reassurance and attention. He needs the reassurance, as his insecurities are through the roof. He would appreciate the attention and compliments a lot, too. He just wants all your attention at all times. In his mind, you are his lifeline.

His kind tendencies often manifest in the way he "rewards" you. He may shower you with gifts, compliments, and attention, making you feel special and cared for. However, these rewards are often used as a way to manipulate and control you, ensuring that you remain devoted to him.

Well, he wouldn’t punish you often, but his punishments would probably be physical. He’d probably pin you down or hold you close so you couldn’t move. If it was worse, he’d probably lock you two in your room away from everyone else and isolate you. Though, he’d much rather reward you more than punish you.

You two would have a lot of disagreements. Husk would be the type to constantly argue with you about anything and everything. No matter how small or big the argument is. You’d be arguing all the time, and Husk would be the argumentative type where he’d go straight for the sensitive subjects and the insults.

He’s still his grumpy and rude self. He’d only soften a bit if you were a part of the conversation. But he’d generally be indifferent as long as you’re not involved or being disrespected. He could care less. But if you are disrespected, he’ll get angry. He’d get incredibly angry if anyone even thought of insulting you.

With dates, you’d probably be just doing things around his general interests. Like going to casinos or maybe even going to bars or clubs with him. He would have a hard time catering dates to things that you like, as he’d be generally worried about getting you something that you don’t like. He’d rather be safe than sorry. But maybe after a while of doing what he likes, he’d finally ask what you like, and plan dates around that instead.

He’d be absolutely obsessed with you if you just happened to be an angel. Angels are very rare, and if he were to have one fall on his lap, he’d take no time to scoop you up for himself. He’d be so possessive. And when demons, or hell residents, in general, found out that you were with him, he’d rub it in their faces. 'My angel'. He’d say.

He’d be extremely protective of you, since he’s a sinner and you’re a high ranking demon. People will constantly be trying to pry, kill, or even capture you for their gain. He’d do everything in his power to protect you from all these people. Though, in a selfish way, this is also a way for him to show you off and rub it in other peoples faces who were after you.

He’d want you to marry him almost immediately, due to his possessive nature. He’d be very excited, as not only does he get to have his possession, legally and officially, but he also gets to show you off to the rest of the underworld without them trying to take you from him.

He’d want children so badly. He’d actually love having someone innocent and little be his. He’d be the type of dad to baby his children no matter how big they are. He’d just want to coddle and protect them. He’d also be an amazing teacher to them, and teach them whatever he could, including his past profession of gambling and card tricks to impress others.

If you chose to not have any kids, he’d respect your decision, and just continue on with his life as is. If you couldn’t physically, or mentally have children of your own, and adoption was out of the question, Husk understands that you both couldn’t so it’s best to let go of the idea and focus on something else. But he’d mourn about it for a long, long time.

“You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful, and gorgeous person I have ever laid my eyes on. I don’t know how I got so damn lucky to have you as mine. I just have to keep thanking whatever power, force, fate, or even just you that I get to have you all to myself.”

Edging - Teasingly bringing you close to orgasm over and over again without allowing you to reach completion. It creates a thrilling tension and leaves both of you desperately seeking release.

Forced servitude - Having a willing slave who eagerly submits to his every command and desire, dedicating yourself entirely to his pleasure...it's a fantasy that haunts his dreams, especially of when he used to be an overlord.

Body worship - Taking his time to explore every inch of your body with his hands, lips, and tongue, savoring each curve and crevice it's an indulgent, sensual experience that never fails to excite him.

Nipple play - Pinching, twisting, sucking, biting and Husk loves playing with them to drive you wild with desire.

Mutual masturbation - Watching you pleasure yourself, knowing you're thinking of him, is a major turn-on.

[amyispxnk]

My Sunshine

Summary - Things are getting bad again and you know Joel would be there to help you in the blink of an eye, but you can't help but feel guilty for even feeling this way - so burdening him with your emotions is out of the question. You try to hide how you feel from him, but you know you can't. He knows you too well.

A/N: SO. i am positively struggling at the moment. with life and just everything. and my lonely ass is in need of some comfort, especially when i feel like.. yk, shit. and feeling like doing shit to myself which is not very good 😊. but i could not find a single comforting fic about self harm, and i get that it’s a very sensitive subject - but my god i need this comfort so please let me indulge for a moment.

And going back to how self harm is a very sensitive subject - please heed the warnings and tread carefully. this entire thing is about self harm and comfort when struggling with it, so please be cautious.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader (could possibly be read as gn but I've used things like sweet girl and his girl so)

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: self harm (not explicitly described or anything, but reader struggles with it), fluff, comfort, established relationship, angst, one mention of drugs (i used it as a.. simile, or whatever, nobody’s taking or has taken any drugs!), crying, kisses, pet names, bad thoughts, questioning the purpose of life, brief perspective change, INCREDIBLY BRIEF MENTION OF SMUT (one word.)

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Joel opens the door with a sigh, toeing off his boots and calling out your name as he walks into the living room, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, breathe in your comforting scent and bask in your equally comforting embrace after a hard day of work. Normally you’d be in the living room, watching TV, maybe reading a book, or in the kitchen, cooking dinner, baking something new you’d found on the internet. But you weren’t today. It’s eerily quiet and he calls out your name again, breaking the silence with his loud voice as he walks up the stairs.

“Dariln’?” He asks as he pushes open the door to your bedroom; you’re not there either. He’s ready to start panicking since he’s checked just about every room of the house when he hears your voice coming from the bathroom.

“Just a minute!” You say, and he exhales with relief when you walk out of the room and up to him, giving him a small smile. It’s one of those smiles which doesn’t make your face look brighter or your eyes crinkle at the corners, no, it’s one of those smiles which you offer to him quickly to reassure him that everything’s okay, please don’t worry about me when you’re probably so stressed already.

“How was work?” You ask as your arms come around his neck and you hug him, breathing him in, holding him a little tighter than usual.

“Was a little tiring today, our supplier messed up the size of the headers and- Sorry, probably don’t mean nothin’ to ya.” He trailed off with a sheepish smile as his right hand came to the back of your neck, tilting your head back a bit so he could kiss you.

You melted into the kiss, eyes fluttering closed as you lost yourself in it. No matter how many times you kissed him, you’d never get enough of the feeling that came with it. Joel's kiss was like a drug, and you were addicted.

His hands skim up your sides but you pull back abruptly, wrinkling your nose. “You smell, Joel. Go shower.” You chuckle weakly and hit him playfully on the chest.

“Mm, I thought you like ‘em a little dirty?” He teased, making you scoff and shake your head as a smirk crept onto your lips.

“Not today. Get.” You told him sternly, still smiling nonetheless as he walked past you to go shower. The smile slipping from your face with ease as the door slides shut behind you.

A few hours later, showers have been taken, dinner made and eaten, and the both of you are now sat on the couch. Joel decided it was a good idea to watch a movie, putting on his favourite - Curtis and Viper 2 - much to your dismay. You swore that you’ve seen this damn movie so many times you’d be able to quote the entire thing word for word, but he still put it on, insisting that it was a classic and it wasn’t like you had any better ideas anyway.

You'd both come to learn that during movie nights, you'd always end up either falling asleep on his shoulder or you were both fucking before even the halfway mark.

Tonight you were curled into Joel's side, silently watching the movie with him. Well, not really watching the movie, just kind of watching the screen. Staring at the pixels and letting the sounds of the film and the world around you in through one ear, out the other.

You were lost in your thoughts, that was happening more often nowadays, mindlessly picking at your nails as you pondered on questions that were far too heavy to ponder this late at night. What's the point of life if we're all going to die one day? Why am I always so hopeless? Why can I never find the purpose in anything? Why am I getting worse at hiding these bad feelings? What if I get too miserable one day and Joel stops loving me? What if I'm just a burden to him?

The final two questions hit you hard, making you do a sharp inhale as you suddenly sit up, startling Joel in the process.

He turns to face you wearily, eyebrows furrowed. “Baby? What's wrong?” He asks quietly, arm coming around you and pulling you back into his side as he kisses your hair.

“‘s nothing. Sorry. Just tired- I think I'm gonna go to sleep.” You mumble, gently extracting yourself from his hold.

He frowns deeper. “Y’ don't wanna stay with me and finish the movie? Even though I know you weren't watching.” He attempts to tease lightly, wanting to lift the mood.

“No, um- you stay and watch it, that's okay. I'm gonna go to sleep now. Goodnight.” You say hurriedly, forgetting to even give him a goodnight kiss before you're up the stairs and in the bedroom, closing the door a little too quickly and praying the slam of it didn't further his concern.

Your back is pressed against the door as you grip the handle tight, eyes squeezing shut as you try to slow your breathing. It's not working, and you just want it to stop. You don't want to be upset, you don't want to feel like you're drowning in your own emotions again, you don't want Joel to find you crying upstairs in your room.

And the only thing you can think of doing is harming yourself. It's been on your mind a lot recently, as your sadness starts to get a little bit too much and you can't find any way to extinguish it. It feels like it's consuming you and you can only think about the last time things got like this. About how you dealt with it.

It would be so easy. You knew how to do it. But you couldn't bring yourself to. You'd be failing him, you saw how upset he was when he found out what you were doing last time and you didn't want to make him feel bad ever again.

You just didn't want to be a burden.

The door slams upstairs and Joel’s frown deepens. His hand goes for the remote, turning off the TV. He's seen this movie enough times, he thinks.

He slowly goes up the stairs and makes his way to your bedroom, wanting to make sure everything's okay.

You were definitely a little off tonight, zoning out and not being as talkative as you normally were, giving him a reason to already be a little concerned. Then you practically ran upstairs a minute ago, seeming panicked and making him worry even more.

He's at the door now, gently coaxing it open, and he's met with darkness. Darkness and silence.

He whispers your name, closing the door behind him as he flicks the light switch on, jumping slightly when he sees that you're right there, sat on the edge of the bed.

You turn to face him and he immediately notices how your face is wet with tears, eyes swollen and red, hair slightly dishevelled.

His heart effectively breaks at the sight of you.

“Baby- what's wrong?” He asks, concerned as ever, as he rushes over to you.

You rub at your eyes furiously, blinking back any further tears as you swallow.

“Nothing- nothing's wrong, Joel-” Your voice wavers as you speak and there's clearly something wrong - why you try so hard to hide it from him is beyond him.

He gently pulls your hands away from your face and holds them together in your lap.

“There's somethin’ wrong, sweetheart. I can see it.” He says softly, his thumb brushing away another tear that’s slowly trailing down your cheek.

You're completely silent, lip quivering.

You don't want to be a burden. If you tell him, he'll get upset and then he'll try to help you, even though you feel like nobody can. You'll just end up being a burden.

You shake your head, squeezing his hand as you do.

“Baby please. Talk to me.” He pleads with you, cupping your cheek and looking at you with so much care and worry that it makes you want to sob all over again.

“I just feel like shit.” You mumble so quietly he almost missed it. “I-” you start, but you just sigh frustratedly, digging your nails into your palms. “I feel.. really bad, again. It almost feels worse this time and it just makes me want to hurt myself. To make it all stop.” You say through clenched teeth, upset and afraid and so, so angry with yourself for admitting how you feel. You do it so much easier now but only because you and Joel had worked so hard to get rid of these defensive walls you'd built around yourself, walls that forced you to conceal your feelings and bottle your emotions.

“Oh, sweet girl.” He frowns, sitting on the bed and turning you to face him a little more. You don't want to look at him. You don't want to see him getting upset and worrying about you. You can't bear it.

So you keep your eyes clamped shut and continue talking. “My thoughts were just getting so.. so loud. And I don't know how to make it stop, and I almost- I just thought it would help.” You're shaking, he can feel it. Little shivers across your entire body, making your breath tremble as you exhale and inhale shakily. “I'm so sorry, Joel. I'm sorry.” You start to sob and he feels like doing the same, because he hates seeing you like this. If he could take all the pain away, force it onto himself so you didn't have to bear it, he would.

He pulls you closer to him, into his lap as he cradles you and rocks you slightly, pressing soft kisses to your forehead and resting his head there.

“Baby, please stop apologisin’. You aren't doin’ anything wrong and.. I know it's hard. It's hard to stop yourself from relapsin’, but you've done so well. ‘m so damn proud of ya, because you've gone so long without hurtin’ yourself. And it's doin’ good for ya; you might not realise it but I do. You’re so much happier now without it, ya like a fuckin’ ball of sunshine.” He teases, making you let out a watery chuckle. He pauses for a moment to brush away your tears, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love you. So so much. And I don't want to see you in pain like that ever again. I don't want my sunshine to go away, and I don't think you want her to either.”

You nod slowly, rubbing at your face as the final tears slip past your eyelids, looking up at Joel again.

He held you and you both talked for what must have been hours after that. You discussed what was really bothering you, how you could try make it better. Distractions helped, you decided. Joel proved to be a good distraction, as you ended the night listening to him talk about just about anything from the new diner that opened up in town to that one story from his childhood which made you snort with laughter every time (one which consisted of little Joel falling ‘head over heels in love’ with a girl when he was in elementary school, deciding to profess his love to her by writing a sappy poem for her and reading it to her in front of quite a large group of people.. only to be turned down. Naturally, he would've been, considering she was a fucking 16 year-old!)

He knew that that story would be the one to make you crack a smile, even if it was a small one, he just wanted to make his girl happy again.

You did a little more than smile, giggling so much you went red because that story never really gets old.

“There she is.” He murmured affectionately, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear and kissing the tip of your nose, then your cheek, then your lips.

It was a brief, yet loving, one, as he pulled back from the kiss and stroked your hair as your eyes fluttered shut.

Joel pulled you closer to him, your head now resting on his chest as your eyes fluttered closed from his soothing touch.

“G’night, babygirl.” He murmured, unsurprised when you didn't answer since you had already fallen asleep.

He stares up at the ceiling and he feels happy despite everything that happened tonight, because he feels good knowing that he can give you that solace and comfort that you just need so desperately sometimes, just like he gave you in the hours that passed. He'd do it a million times and more if it was for you.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you.. enjoyed? Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and requests are open. 💞

Note: My heart really goes out to you if you struggle with self harm. It's not easy to deal with and even harder to stop doing it once you've started, but you're not alone. Even if you feel like you have no one to talk to, there are countless places and websites you can look at which offer things like helplines and anonymous chats if you're struggling, and also give healthy solutions and alternatives etc. to self harm. You're so loved. Things might seem impossible but never give up. It will get better one day.

[hockeyboysimagines]

(forgot to write in the prompts before) but smut prompts 18 & 21 for Dunner?? like a jealous make-up sex scenario??

Hope you enjoy this!!!

“So what’s with you and Vince? Did you guys finally call it quits?”

You flinched a little at the mention of his name but nodded “Yeah we’re done. For real this time.”

It had been just over 2 months since you’d officially broken up and it was still a sensitive subject. You’d broken up over the phone just before he came home and now going into early July, you still hadn’t seen him.

And you were glad.

The last thing you wanted to do was see his stupid face, especially after the bitter breakup and the way things went down because you definitely were not over him. If anything, the last two months had been especially hard for you, but you were finally coming out of it the last week or so. You’d even started casually dating someone new, more as a distraction than anything but the guy was okay. He was no Vince, but he was decent and he’d been successfully keeping your mind off things.

Until 5 minutes ago.

There he was fucking up your night at the party you kind of knew he’d be at, but you still couldn’t believe he was 10 feet away.

“Ech” you downed your drink and tossed the cup in the trash turning to your friends “I’m leaving.”

“No come on-“

“No seriously. I don’t wanna see him.” You waved goodbye to your friends and made your way out of the house and outside, down the front walk to where you had parked.

“Hey.” You stopped and turned, annoyed to find Vince coming up behind you, half in shadow.

“What do you want?”

He chuckled and came to a stop in front of you “I miss you too.”

“Ha ha.” You sneered taking a step backwards towards your car “I don’t miss you. Do you need something or can I go?” You turned away from him but he caught your wrist.

“What’s your hurry? Off to see your new boyfriend?” You froze and turned slowly back to him as he nodded “Don’t play dumb. You had to know I was gonna find out about that. Since when?”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a guy.”

“Yeah just a guy.” He looked a little mad “We break up for a few months and already you’re fucking someone else? Guess I know where I stand.”

“You don’t know anything, and I’m not fucking anyone okay Vince?” You yanked your hand away, eyes blazing with anger “That’s your thing.”

“What did you say?” He leaned forward and frowned.

“I said, that’s your thing. I hear you’ve been in bed with every girl in town since you came home.”

“I haven’t been with any girls since I-“

“You know what Vince.” You said waving your hand to cut him off “Fucking save it okay. We’re done, it’s over now I’m leaving.”

You turned to your car but he spun you around, pressing you up against it. Your brain was screaming at you to push him away but you just couldn’t as he leaned in and pulled you into a very long heated kiss.

Stop stop stop stop

Your brain continued to yell, but it was no use. Before you knew it you were tangled up in the backseat of your SUV, with no pants on.

You reached out to grab on to something so Vince could pull your underwear down and missed the handle, fingers streaking down the foggy window. You fell forward catching yourself on the headrest instead as he pulled them over your ankles, pulling you down so you were on your back and ya king his own jeans down. He pulled one of your legs and pushed the other one away from it, stopping just before he pushed inside you. You picked up your head.

“What-what are you doing?”

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name” he said lowly.

“Vince I-ahhhhhhhhh.”

You gasped out as he pushed in without warning before pulling out and doing it again “I’m going to ruin you” he whispered in your ear, tongue sliding over the skin of your neck.

You felt like you were going to explode as his pushes became almost too much but you never wanted him to stop. He was breathing heavily in your ear, breath hot on your skin, and a thin sheen of sweat had appeared on both of you as you started to feel a warm sensation between your legs and you closed your eyes. A blinding orgasm hit you both at the same time and you cried out as it surged through your body, nails gripping the skin of his shoulders.

“Jesus Christ.” He breathed out, breath ragged as he leaned his forehead against your chest. It was quiet a few moments as he pulled out and handed you your underwear. You sat there staring at him, clearing your throat before you spoke “As nice as this was I have a date later soooo….”

Vince whipped his head towards you and looked mad until you smiled and giggled a little.

“That’s not funny.” He said shaking his head.

“It was a little funny.”

“So about that guy anyways-“

“What guy?”

“The guy your dating. What’s his name?”

“No idea.” He was looking at you, small smile spreading across his face and leaned back a little smugly.

“Mission accomplished.”

[onepiecepetalfanfics089]

Hi I’m in love with your work , I was wondering would it be alright to request yandere Lunami team work/poly x female heiress reader who paying the straw hats to take her far , far away from her fiancé who wishes to marry her to take all her fortune , but reader doesn’t expect to attract the future pirate king or his navigator attention , who aren’t taking a no for answer

A Heiresses Protectors~

Your kingdom was a very sacred place to you, a place you called home in which you grew up. So when a war broke out in your country with some very strong foes you knew you couldn’t handle alone you knew you needed help. Especially since you had to very far to the place where you can be safe and work out your plan..

Helplessly wondering the seas you finally came across the straw hats! A weird but somewhat charming group of pirates who didn’t hesitate to help you. You were absolutely ecstatic and paid them enough to last them months as you presumed, just to take you away from your fiancé. You absolutely felt so grateful but..their Navigator and Captain acted somewhat strange towards you..

.

.

.

.

The wind blew with a somewhat warm and cool breeze at the same time while you braided your hair on deck. You couldn’t help but admire their ship and the giant lion on it..which they called the sunny. While you were braiding your hair you were telling stories about your kingdom. The place that you called home and had countless of memories at.

Usopp,Luffy and Chopper were the ones who listening very intently with their eyes sparkling. You couldn’t help but notice the strange gleam in Luffy’s eyes however whenever you talked about a little thing. He could honestly spend hours upon hours just holding a exciting conversation with you on how him and his crew were going to “kick those jerk’s asses”

Zoro on the other hand was just laying down on deck in the sun. His eyes closed and obviously very relaxed. You couldn’t really tell if he was sleeping though..

Continuing on with your stories about your kingdom you wore a bright smile on your face as you excitedly told the three about what you did, how you lived and how beautiful your home was. Luffy then and again would ask questions and chuckle or grin at every word you said while you glanced out at the sea every once and a while. Then, a certain part of one of your stories involved mentioning your fiancé..it was like they didn’t really care much on how he just wanted your fortune..they seemed to only be upset about the fact that you were going to be with someone else other then them..

The crew knew about then and their plan to just marry you for their fortune and showed obvious concern and anger for you like any reasonable person would. Nami and Luffy were different about the subject though…one could say….sensitive..?

Luffy’s face scrunched your when you even mentioned their name and you saw his face darken with a slight frown. Now that you think about it Nami’s mood would definitely..darken whenever they was mentioned.

Speaking of the Navigator though she was walking towards you with a smile and a gleam in her big brown eyes, her long orange hair flowing through the wind as the waves crashed against the sunny. Your lips curved into a soft smile when he she stood in front of you, Hand on her hip.

“Hey Nami! I thought you were drawing your map in your office?” You said softly while trying to ignore the feeling of eyes staring right into your skull. You knew it was Luffy but said nothing about it to be rude of course..

The woman with with the bikini top smiled at you and sat down next to you, running a hand through your hair and getting a bit in your space. “Oh yeah..I decided to take a little break!…are these idiots bothering you?” She asked with a laugh as Ussop, Chopper, and Luffy all said “hey!!” In unison. You giggled and smiled.

Nami then wrapped an arm around you waist as she turned to you. “Oh! And Y/N, I forgot to mention that I moved our beds together in the women’s cabin..” she said softly like it didn’t matter. You thought it did though because you barely got any privacy on the ship with the captain and navigator around..

Nami would always have you in her office, since you didn’t help out with the maps she was making and her work you just liked to draw in her company. Luffy on the other hand just seemed to like making you the judge of all his silly games he played with chopper and ussop. He always got a bit upset when you picked one of them over him to win or were on their team. So, the only reasonable thing to do was use his position as captain to get you on his side!

He didn’t just do that with games though..

anytime any of the others would make plans or try to have activities with you those two would almost go livid. Luffy guilt tripping you without even realizing it and Nami ether hitting them comedically or just straight up showing how annoyed she was and grabbing your hand while making excuses on why you should go with her and no one else besides her and luffy.

You blinked and held your breath for a moment. “Y-You moved our beds together nami..? Why did you do that?..” you asked while smiling nervously. Luffy then butted in with a grin and a chuckle. “I asked her to! We didn’t want you to get cold at night or anything bad happening to you..so Nami can keep you all warm and safe shishi!!” He laughed while wrapping his stretchy arms around your waist tightly and laying big his head on your shoulder.

They both seemed to notice the uncertain and uncomfortable look in your eye, both turning to you they still held their smile and tightened their grip on you. You could feel Luffy’s dark black hair tickle your thighs as he looked up at you and Nami’s log post against your arm.

“Your okay with it right..?”

You felt a chill run down your spine as you almost shivered from their look..even though they were still smiling somewhat brightly at you, they had this look in your eye..a look alone that terrified you..

“Yes of course..t-that’s fine with hah..” you laughed nervously as to not displease them..making them mad wasn’t the best choice for…

Multiple reasons you suspected.

A few hours had passed ever since you “good” news about being protected at night. You were currently in Nami’s office, reading a book the Robin let you borrow quietly while Luffy was laying his head in your lap and talking your ear off while eating some meat, another one of his adventures he was talking about and you couldn’t help but glance at Nami who was working on one of her maps.

A smile on her face formed whenever Luffy hugged you tighter or mentioned you like you were one of his crew members.

You honestly just couldn’t wait until you could go back home..away from the very much possessive and bit obsessed Navigator and Captain you’ve encountered.

What a surprise they had planned for you..

A sudden loud crash of the waves and a clank of anchor caught your attention and threw you out of your thoughts as you blinked and looked out the window of the ship. “Did you two hear that?..” you said softly while scanning the waters for anything remotely interesting to just keep their attention off of you.

Nami sighed and got up, putting her hands on hips, her lips burning up in a comedic snarl as she tapped a finger on her lower hip. “I swear if those idiots are doing anything stupid again…they should know not to interrupt our time with you.” She Saïd muttering the last part while giving Luffy a look. Your eyebrows furrowed at her last comment but before you could even say anything, luffy got up from your lap and stretched.

“I’m sure everything’s okay!” He Saïd cheerily as you got up and glanced at the window again briefly.

.

.

.

.

Once you were outside and looked around you heard voices..in fact you heard a familiar one..and there they stood. Your fiancé in the flesh. Your eyes widened and felt so confused..

Zoro was staring at them with a almost grim expression Knowing how they just wanted your money to begin with, who wouldn’t be suspicious and cautious? He had his hand on his sword as your fiancé talked and seemed to be acting a bit worried for you.

Not thinking in the moment, you rushed over to to your fiancé with a frown, arms crossed.

Not even realizing the shadow covering Nami’s and luffy’s faces…

“What are you doing here “F/N?!” You couldn’t let chin of the idea of getting my money that badly?!” You huffed while placing your hands on your hips. By now most of the crew were gathered around on deck to watch the scene and make sure nothing happens.

You sighed softly and glared at the person in front of you as he started to speak. All of frustration with the two clingy pirates had gotten you riled up..

“Darling..you have it all wrong! I don’t just want you for your money and should know that! And even if I did..why do you choose to let these pirates help you? Just come home with me my love and we can all work this out-”

They took your hands and slowly tried to kiss you, leaning forward as your eyes widened in complete shock and you froze.

Before you could even think of doing anything, you felt your fiancés body shaking violently..he was being electrocuted by Nami’s clima-tact. You gasped at he violence in front of you but it only got worse as she kicked them square in the jaw while Luffy punched him so many times that your eyes were dizzy and he was bleeeding out more spots you could count.

By this time your fiancé was on the floor and looking beaten up. Nami said nothing while Luffy ordered everyone to get rid of him. No one knew what he meant but…everyone didn’t want to know.

After the whole ordeal you stood there silently, trying to piece together what happened while staring out the sea, only to feel a pair of arms wrapping around your waist with someone hugging your arm. You gulped and could already tell who it was..

Nami smiled at you whine Luffy chuckled as he nuzzled his head in the back of your neck.

“Hey Y/N?” Luffy’s cheerful voice said despite the fact that he might have possibly killed a man said.

“..y-yea..?”

“Well we were just thinking..you’ve been here for a long time and well..we wanted to ask if you were interested in joking our crew after we help save your kingdom?” Nami asked softly with that kind voice she only used towards you.

You paused and your heart stopped. Join them?…no.. you couldn’t possibly..it’s only been a few weeks on this ship and you wanted nothing more than to leave already.

“Y-That’s very kind of you guys to offer but-”

Nami’s face fell and Luffy’s smile faded into a serious frown.

“But what? We know you’ll miss your home but don’t worry, we’ll give you time to say goodbye!”

“But I-”

“Yea don’t sweat it! You’ll adjust just fine and we’ll help you throughout the way..even if you dint feel like it but we know you’ll do it right?? After all we’ll be protecting you so you don’t gotta worry about a thing!”

“After all..you do want your kingdom to be saved right?...we’d hate to have to…worsen things..”

“…..”

“So it’s a yes isn’t it??”

At this point..by their penetrating stares and their tight, protective yet caring grip around you..

You just gave it up..

“Yes..I’d be delighted to join..”

They both grinned fro ear to ear and kissed your cheek.

“We knew you’d say yes! We’re so glad you weren’t difficult time-taking!!”

They then went on to start their blabber about all the fun adventures you go on and how when they set sail after saving your home it would be so much fun..

A heiresses protectors couldn’t help but be a little..insistent at times…

Hey guys!! I really really hope you like this one because I had a lot of fun writing it and I’m sorry for taking so long to post 😭😭 I’ve had tests and gotten sick so yea ‼️😭 but I’m back to work and will be posting more frequently!! I’ll even try to write a story every day like I said on my announcement 😉 bye my petals! I really holed you like this one and thank you to whoever requested this! I loved the idea! Goodbyes guys and good night/morning/ evening depending where you live! ❤️❤️🌸

[crow-girl-cock]

Hai :7

I love you!

yes you!

click this.

now for introduction.

my name is Renée Corbeau

but you can call me ren or crow

I love crows! they feel like family to me and I hope next cycle I get to experience the life of a crow.

I have gone through alot in life and fancy myself some sort of activist by proxy of that pain, am I perfect? fuck no! I am still learning and probably operate under toxic bias still despite all the effort I have put into growth.

I'm adhd, autistic, anxious, depressive, dissociative, probably some degree of plurality.

I'm a gender non-conforming transwoman, definitely puppy coded, and severely down bad for women, especially butch women!

that being said the human body is beautiful. especially fat bodies, I'm a sucker for meat :3

all my guys, gals, and non binary pals deserve kisses (assuming that they want them)

I love gender fuckery, people who actively blur those lines are doing the lords work.

despite being very friendly and appearing slightly outgoing sometimes, I am very shy and dont have a very large social battery.

if I ever dont respond dont take it personally there are loads of reasons why this could be.

U⁠^ᴥ^⁠U U⁠^ᴥ^⁠U U⁠^ᴥ^⁠U

I am kind of a red mage when it comes to special interests, I know a little bit about alot.

(all lists are not ordered and not exhaustive)

some examples include;

from gaming~ pokemon, zelda, elderscrolls, darksouls, minecraft, osu!, space sims (elite dangerous, astroneer, dyson sphere project, hardspaceshipbreaker), roguelikes (noita, deadcells, gungeon, vagante, slaythespire)

from other media~ pokemon again, bluey, adventure time, atla, bee and puppycat, studio ghibli (nausicaa is goat), csm, bleach, dragonball, naruto, she-ra, dungeon meshi

from *gasps* real life~

space (and metaphysics), nature (it's peculiarities and the many funky adorable little guys born in it) I'm definitely a poser but skateboarding and rollerskating (I really want to get into rollerderby) philosophy (to the extent that any skid is);

History!

(not as well read as I would like because there is so much of it, and so much of the truth is buried under misinformation, but I have deconstructed the whole western myth of how things went and painted myself a much clearer picture as to how things got so bad and am learning new things about the world all the time, please feel free to info dump about anything history related I'd love to hear it. anthropology and archaeology too obvs)

Art!

(this is my chosen field for better or worse >⁠.⁠< I am going to college for web and graphic design (2024-2026) I might extend that an extra 2 years to make it a bachelor of design and hope to one day make graphic novels, beautifully illustrated with deep thought provoking stories)

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ ૮꒰՞⸝⸝- ༝ -⸝⸝꒱ა ໒꒰՞⸝⸝. ̫ .ܸ⸝⸝ ꒱ა

Kink! (definitely subject to change)

petplay, musk, intox, bondage, impact, cnc, degradation, somno, hypno, blood, knives, size difference probably more I haven't thought of

I'm poly and very t4t

I'm a switch but this hellsite has been steadily turning me into a bottom day by day heheh

but no actually

I used to be a hypersexual dom pre-transition

but E has made me alot less uncontrollably horny and far more sensitive and inclined to seek vulnerability, all my drive to dom has dissolved

also I suck at tagging and will sometimes will reblog art/random things from tags without checking bios

if that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable please see the block button for more info ;3c

.♡. .♡. .♡.

anyways since you made it this far

here have some headpats

spread kindness please and thank you ^v^

As above, So below.

Hai :7

I love you!

yes you!