#especially since i am for real moving away from the past fandom i was in

[swift-kwikster]

Don't think I posted this here??

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 01/07

Anonymous asked:i think youre the first liveblogger ive seen to actually remember that orphaner dualscar was eridan’s flarping name?

Mindfang clearly describes the Serkets, so I wonder if Dualscar says anything about the Amporas?

Eridan's greatest enemy does have a duality theme, after all - and he was certainly scarred when the guy stole his crush >:)

@captorations asked:i have terrible news regarding homestuck and the good place: https://x.com/nbcthegoodplace/status/1039908767763259392?lang=en not to mention that. well. the two share more than you've encountered yet. it's very likely not a coincidence. have fun! oh and. re: my ongoing campaign of pointing out the homestuck ancestry of tlt characters. please compare aradia's "i am very much alive and i intend to stay that way" with dulcinea's "i'm not in the river and i won't ever be again"

...oh my god.

On reflection, this makes a lot of sense. Homestuck's fandom is pretty large, and some of its members were bound to be involved in the production of mainstream media. Still, it's wild to see a Homestuck reference - or, technically, a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference - on the official Twitter for a show this big.

And Aradia does have a lot in common with Dulcinea, doesn't she? For one thing, they didn't really start influencing the plot until after they died.

Anonymous asked: Not really important anymore, but looking at what Gamzee has in his Strife Deck, it doesn’t look like he has any ranged options: he’s got the bowling pins, what appear to be a discarded sickle and lance from Karkat and Tavros respectively, what I’m PRETTY SURE is a whip of some sort, and the Zillyhoo hammer. The closest to a ranged weapon in that stack is the whip, or maybe the pins if he’s willing to throw them, but neither seem like they’d work very well against Vriska. Barring some secret power or other plot twist, I think Gamzee would genuinely be the underdog in that matchup. (Which feels weird, because Gamzee’s been mutating into a slasher villain while Vriska’s still very much an antihero protagonist. Usually the power balance is the other way around with those archetypes!)

On the face of it, Gamzee didn't seem to have great odds in that fight - but it's hard to know for sure with this pesky Bard. His Strife Deck contains plenty of cards we haven't seen, and whatever he did to the Black King is still shrouded in mystery. Everything's just so uncertain with him.

@mimescantscream asked: I've really been holding back all this time, but now that we've met the Grand-highblood, it really is extra painful to see a Gamzee who was once incredibly loving of his friends (despite their constant ridicule) end up falling down the path that fate seems to have pre-ordained for him. Was he truly always meant to repeat echoes of the past? Could things ever have gone differently for him?

Yeah, I've been having similar thoughts. His PoV seemed completely sincere, so I don't think his original personality was a fabrication, or anything. I think there is a part of Gamzee that cares about his friends - and maybe even he wants it back.

@jade-harley-real asked: […] I want a rant on the bad doctor from you pls pls pls

Scratch is straight up the scariest character in Homestuck.

What's he up to now? Hard to say since we're not telling him what to do. Guardians can never be told what to do.

The aura of menace he's cultivated is incredible, especially considering he barely even moves. He's playing the entire cast like a fiddle, armed with nothing but a typewriter and his own supercharged brain - and there's no doubt in my mind that his confidence isn't a mask. He knows he's going to win in the end.

English is coming. He's basically already here.

@elkian asked: I'll probably never be a Vriska FAN, but I gotta admit, she really never had a chance, what with the only adults in her life being: a trollvorous spider 1 missed meal away from eating her, Marquise "I do what I want" Mindfang, and Doc Scratch. Some role models! @manorinthewoods asked: So, now that Mindfang has been revealed, here's a question for you: how much of Vriska's Vriskyness is because she's Vriska, how much is because of Mindfang, how much is because of her lusus, and how much is because of Alternia in general? ~LOSS (20/6/24)

This is why I don't think she'd be like this on Earth. At this point, it's obvious that none of her Incidents were the result of her personality as it naturally arose.

I mean, look how anti-Aradiacide she was! They weren't even really friends!

Anonymous asked: ‘AA: there are all sorts of friends to meet AA: ones you already know and ones you dont’ I mean…couldn’t she just be referring to various doomed selves? I don’t see why the dream bubbles would just be confined to the alpha timeline seeing as the furthest ring is weird in terms of time and space

I was assuming that only Alpha Timeline deaths would be preserved by the Bubbles, but you're right - I'm not sure that was a reasonable assumption.

The Horrorterrors seem to eschew the concept of the Alpha Timeline. and, they've coordinated with both Doomed and Alpha versions of Rose and Dave. Plus, yeah, there is no time in the Ring, so timelines are probably meaningless there. Why would it only interface with the Alpha?

If the Bubbles do preserve doomed souls, then we might also run into the John who died to Typheus, and the Jade he couldn't save. That's a pair of ghosts I'd be very interested to meet.

Anonymous asked: If every Aradia comes back from every doomed timeline, the number would double each time, so you could get over a thousand of her with only ten doomed timelines.

Fair point- although, if an already doomed Aradia went back in time again, she'd be double doomed. Is that even possible? Would she die twice as quickly?

@mhafanlol2000 asked: Your issues with quirks and speech-to-text are pretty simple to explain. If a troll were to speak into a non-modified speech-to-text program, it would output text with their quirk. Because they, quite literally, speak in their quirk. Terezi probably isnt actually saying “YOU H4V3 LOST TH3 G4M3”, each number at a time, but the vibes are definitely there. I don’t know, this is hard to describe if you don’t inherently get it.

I think, jokes aside, it is indeed about the vibes.

In the troll intro pages, you get told a little about how each troll talks, and I think that's how we're supposed to translate their quirks to an audible medium.

Anonymous asked: i think ppl in the fandom have over time kinda built up a like, generally separate understanding of quadrants from how theyre described in the "official" explanation. which is like, not representative of how these terms are used in homestuck, but probably more useful for describing Good relationships that Do Not Suck. like basically making moirails equivalent to being queer platonic partners, making blackrom more about having a healthy fun rivalry, that kinda stuff.

It's funny, actually - I don't think I've encountered a single asker who accepts the quadrants as they're originally described.

The main issue is that, with the possible exception of matespritship, we haven't seen a single troll relationship with reflects the infodump's explanation of the quadrants. I think Hussie might just have jumped the gun a little when dropping it.

Anonymous asked: Shoutout to Karkat poking his friends in the background! Terezi (crying over Dave) and now Soloux (talking to Terezi). Karkat isn’t sure what the right response is but wants to be included! Reminds me of actual cats, just putting a paw on you for no discernible reason. @manorinthewoods asked: I'd like to note that Karkat poking Terezi's tears is the same sprite (and same 'poooke'!) as Karkat poking Sollux's burnt-out eyesockets. ~LOSS (12/6/24)

My man just likes poking.

@alicesoinions asked: not much to say just wanted to say I really enjoy your liveblog!!

Glad you're enjoying!

I've actually got a few new followers recently. Maybe I'm showing up in people's recommendations?

@heliotropopause asked: Dream bubbles are pretty neat, eh? Neat enough to inspire half of HtN, I'd bet.

…wait.

Oh my god, you're right. It's literally a River Bubble. They're both located in afterlives, for crying out loud!

Anonymous asked: Wanted to thank your liveblog for reminding me of a lot that I had flat out missed in canon, due to not putting it together or just reading too quickly. Most recently and notably on my mind right now, is that Feferi is the one who set up the dreambubbles!!! I had always thought that they were just a part of the world that readers didn’t know about yet, like how we weren’t yet introduced to Alternia and it’s moons until act 5. This went right over my head and it has me absolutely REELING (fishing pun included just for fef!!)

Feferi truly is the MVP.

I wonder what happened to dead Players before the Bubbles?

They're certainly not the only type of afterlife in the multiverse. Alternia has at least two types of undead, which implies that the Players are very, very lucky to have retained their personhood postmortem. Imagine this was what Feferi looked like in Jade's dream.

Anonymous asked: Knowing sollux, he probably already had coded his tech to recognize if his speech ever changed, and gave himself a different typing quirk for it, long ago. Not because he knew or thought it would happen, but because he thought it would be a fun coding project ((I know nothing about coding))

And yet, you somehow know exactly how we think.

Anonymous asked: Something I hadn’t really thought about, until I started reading this liveblog, is how much VRISKA ((autocorrect decided to caps that and I’m leaving it in lol)) was manipul8ted into a lot of her violence. Scratch pushed her towards vengeance against Aradia, and she didn’t want to go through with it. Did VRISKA ever tell anyone how much of her live she spent resisting these forces, or even really acknowledge it? She didn’t hide Spidermom, and arguably her need to kill other trolls was to prevent herself from being killed. BUT on the other hand, VRISKA voice would make it sound like a compliment “I almost didn’t kill you why don’t you appreciate me!!!!!!!!”

The thing is, VRISKA probably felt a lot of social pressure not to tell people she was coerced into her crimes. That would reveal that she was reluctant to kill, which is the opposite of what the Empire wants.

@manorinthewoods asked: You could have written a great Homestuck if you'd been Hussie. I think your style, if translated from reacting-to-comic to making-comic, would work great with what Homestuck is, and could have made a better product. I think you'd make a cerebral Homestuck, which would have been cool to read, except I would have botched reading it like I botched reading Homestuck in our Alpha Timeline. ~LOSS (11/6/24)

Thank you! I've tried to write before, actually, but whenever I reread my stories, they come off as esoteric, stilted and a little hard to follow. It's not an insurmountable problem, of course, and I really need to take a writing workshop at some point.

I'd love to make a webcomic, too, but my art also leaves a lot to be desired. I can adapt sprites just fine, but original drawings are hard, guys. Did anyone else know about this?

Anonymous asked: i counted just now, and only like 24 out of all 54 paradox space comics have zero spoilers. some of them are certainly more substantial than others (e.g. i counted ones that include jade’s consorts that you havent seen yet as spoilers) but a lot of them have Very Big Spoilers

It would have been awfully messy. I'm probably just going to read it once I've reached the Gigapause of 2013, and no longer need to worry about spoilers.

@bladekindeyewear asked: “Nepeta wasn't trying to pacify Equius, nor did she seem to be fulfilling any rigidly defined 'role' in his life. They just came off as very good friends, and their relationship was much better for it.” Well, maybe we ought to look at it through the lens of real relationships between friends? Once a healthy dynamic and boundaries are established, perhaps Moirails stabilize as long as they’re together.

That's a good way to interpret moirallegence - although, it does raise an issue with the quadrant that I'll be discussing on its own post, once I've finished the comp. There's no point in prehashing what I'm about to say, so I'll see you there!

Anonymous asked: karkats message didn't go through because of trollians narrative awareness feature, where it'll display something different in service of one of the several "all"-seeing entities, of which the reader is one <3 watsonian and doylist explanations are kissing with tongue

Since the fourth wall is an actual, physical piece of technology in this world, this isn't even that far-fetched!

@sashonya asked: So, as the session's timers continues to count down, what do you think will happen after The Scratch?

Beyond 'the session ends', it's difficult to say for sure. I think the two most likely possibilities are that the kids start exploring other sessions, or travel to a location completely outside the current scope of the comic. I am, of course, hoping for both.

@ericvilas asked: "I still believe that out of all the trolls, Karkat’s traits were featured the most prominently in humanity" yeah, I guess even humans aren't free from the effects of carcinization

CG: THERE IS ONLY ONE STEP. CG: AND IT IS ME.

[1863-project]

For the ask game: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

[ask meme]

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I...actually get frustrated with the infantilization and/or demonization of characters that could be read as autistic, because it happens so often and there's such a lack of self-awareness when people do it. If one person headcanons it, a bunch of other people pile on, and before you know it, your character is being treated like someone else entirely - and unfairly so.

Let's take the most obvious example and the reason I don't engage with fandom much:

I am so tired of what fandom at large has done to Emmet since 2010. He's been infantilized since day one, often being portrayed as needing Ingo to take care of him or otherwise be his brother's keeper. He's also been turned into a violent, 'unhinged' stereotype since day one. Neither of these things are new. They've been happening since the release of the games. Neither of them have any basis in his canon characterization - a competent railroad employee who's a goofball but simultaneously responsible and always puts safety first.

I was hoping people had moved past that the way they moved past Blankshipping (though some people still do this, too, EW), but it seems like they haven't. Emmet is still either a helpless child or a serial killer waiting to happen to so many of these people, and as someone who actually felt so validated and seen the first time she discovered Ingo and Emmet, it hurts so deeply.

In real life, I'm also infantilized. I turn 35 this year and have a Master’s degree and work a big grown-up adult archivist job and live outside my parents' house, but because I'm neurodivergent and short, I'm frequently assumed to be and am treated like a teenager way more often than you'd reasonably expect. It's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like an innocent child because you don't meet neurotypical benchmarks of adulthood the way they want you to or because of the way you carry yourself or enjoy things. But at the same time, people shy away from me because I'm "too intense" about the things I care about.

Sound familiar?

Fandom was, when I was a younger girl, a place where neurodivergent people (especially autistic and ADHD people) were safe from the real world not understanding, accommodating, and accepting us. We generally kept things on the down-low, since it was another thing we'd be bullied for if people knew, but for us, it was a safe space. Then people realized fandom could be commodified, and once capitalism got a hold on fandom and made it mainstream, all our bullies were suddenly in our little space again, and...well, you probably know the rest. (Yeah, they brought their ableism with them.)

I'm not saying old fandom didn't have its problems. It had a LOT of problems. But it was, altogether, a safer space for neurodivergent people to find community and themselves than it is now. Now it feels more about producing things and moving on to the next big thing to produce more "content" to keep engagement instead of an actual community of nerdy, passionate people getting excited about each other's fanworks and chatting about their favorite things together.

And that reflects in how people treat autistic and autistic-coded characters now. Emmet is one example of many - look at Papyrus, or Entrapta, or numerous others.

This trend really, really fucking hurts, and I cannot stand how willingly fandom spaces just go along with it without thinking critically about it.

[elvisabutler]

Hi I’d like to request a smut about Austin Butler and reader. Reader stared as Pricilla in Elvis and Austin and her became very close And they flirt all the time but when Austin dates Kaia reader feels like she has no chance Then the cast goto the oscars where Austin is nominated and wins Reader is also nominated but for Marilyn Monroe(Love her!)she goes down the isle Austin kisses her in front of everybody like Alexander Skarsguard and Nicole Kidman reader confronts him after leads to smut.

love was just a glance away

summary: after bonding and flirting nonstop on the set of elvis, you fall for austin but don't take a chance on telling him. when he starts to date kaia you think your opportunity is gone for good until oscar night. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: austin butler x priscilla actress reader ( different verse than my usual ). austin butler x kaia gerber is also mentioned, plays an somewhat important part as the prompt implies. word count: 2642 warnings: cheating on austin's part, kind of. pining. oral ( f receiving ). age difference ( austin is the older one in both relationships ). mentions of the movie blonde. author’s note: so this has been tricky for me for a number of reasons that i won't get into. but anon if you're still around ( since this was from the beginning of september, lord have mercy ) thank you for this prompt and i hope you enjoy! and we're all gonna pretend that blonde wasn't a trash fire, alright? just for this fic. and for those of you who don't remember, yes that kiss with alexander and nicole did happen. it's okay, i forgot about it too. and special thanks to @blurredcolour and @ab4eva who helped talk me out of setting this piece on fire. no taglist this time for this is a piece i am still very unsure of.

Austin Butler has a magnetism you wish you could blame on him playing Elvis- wish you could blame on him not being able to separate himself from his character. You wish you could and yet you of all people know the truth, that Austin will look at you as if you're the only person in the room when talking to you, will act as if he cares about all the little tiny details of your life that most people just sort of pretend to care about. No one could fault you for falling for him- no one could fault anyone for falling for him, especially when you had been his costar- the Prisicilla to his Elvis for almost two years, watching Elvis movies together, learning everything about the real life people that made your characters who they were.

You tell yourself you should have made a move on Austin when you had the chance. You should have made a move on him at that stupid brunch or that stupid moment in the water at the wrap party. You should have but you were too scared, too much that young girl who got the part and found yourself starry eyed over your older costar. So you allow him to slip through your fingers and move onto your next project while he moves onto his. You keep faintly in touch, talking over text until the pics with Lily Rose come out and you ignore him for a week, too hurt that he moved on- like you had ever been together- to speak to him. When you finally do you're shorter than you've ever been with him and he backs off for a month. He backs off thinking you're- he knows he's made you angry, hurt you but he doesn't know why. You two were never anything more than close costars, hell, you had been one of the few he'd had that stuck around past filming like this, stuck around and had him keep that sense of family he always lost when shooting wrapped for any project.

He backs away for a month but then he meets Kaia and she feels like a balm. A part of him, a part deep inside the recesses of his mind knows he's probably using her and that she doesn't deserve this- she's not even 21 and here he was just fooling around with her. She's nice enough though- her parents less so but- no one was perfect and he was dating her and not them. Getting to know her is a whirlwind before the press tour, coffee dates and trips to Paris and making out over masks because she's better than 'Nessa ever will be about obeying the rules when it comes to the pandemic.

Seeing you on the press tour, seeing you in your dress at the Met has his heart thudding in his chest, has his hands itching to touch you. You're flying solo while he has Kaia on his arm being sweet and as lovely as can be. She's everything he could want in a girlfriend he thinks, and yet she's not you. Still, she doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve to have anything but his undivided attention so he tries to remind himself that if you two were meant to be- if you two were supposed to be together you would be. Life isn't the Notebook and people don't drift apart only to come back together in a sweeping scene in the rain. When he reminds himself of this, when he let's himself tell his subconscious this over and over it sinks in, it makes it easier to be the adoring boyfriend Kaia deserves and after the standing ovation that lasts twelve minutes and you congratulating him, he allows himself to forget about it.

He allows himself to bury his feelings for you because he's not a cheater, he's not the type to break up his own relationship on a- fling, a potential friends with benefits situation- a something that isn't another relationship. He's not a cheater by nature but sometimes- sometimes he wishes he was, wishes he could call you up on the nights he's in Budapest or the nights he's in Ohio and tell you everything. Tell you that he loves Kaia but he's been at least a little in love with you since filming and it's not just Elvis and Priscilla. No, it's you and him. You're filming- something else at this point and he knows your Marilyn movie is getting rave reviews, not like he expected any different, and yet he only congratulates you, doesn't try and tell you his feelings, content to ride whatever his relationship with Kaia proves to be because you don't- You two missed your opportunity.

Never in his wildest dreams had Austin thought he'd be nominated for an Oscar for Elvis but if you had asked him- and you had- you were always going to be a shoo-in for a nomination for Marilyn. If you ask him, the phone call he has congratulating you- the one that takes three hours of just the two of you catching up? That might have been the straw that broke the camel's back with Kaia.

His relationship with her might not have been PR but he knows- and she knows it's a PR nightmare to have them break up right before the Oscars, and they may not be together but they like each other as people and Kaia murmurs against his shoulder that "you deserve to have your moment" and he does, doesn't he? After all those years of slaving away trying to become the actor he knows he was born to be.

You try to not watch Austin and how he looks with Kaia on his arm on the red carpet. Everyone's busy asking about your nomination and how it makes you feel and only occasionally do they bring up Austin's own, it's- it's fine. Handling this would be a piece of cake unlike figuring out just where you were supposed to sit as far as your respective casts went. You choose to sit with the Blonde cast, scrunching your face at Xavier and giving Bobby and Adrian the largest hugs imagable. You glance across the room to see Austin staring at you with something- with some look you don't dare identify as jealousy, after all, Kaia isn't too far away from him but it's something you're not sure you want to put a name to.

The ceremony itself feels like a blur- feels like a rush even though you know when you're watching it at home it never feels like that. Maybe it's just one of those things you have to experience in person to get the full effect. Austin wins- of course he does, you had no doubt and despite how complicated things have been with you and him- or how you wish you had made a move, you're still proud of him. Your standing ovation is practically a version of his one from Cannes and you see him grinning seeing you still clapping even as you sit down. It's hard to focus on the words he's saying after you hear "and my Priscilla, the wonderful Y/N," and realize he's still looking at you with something akin to joy and awe rolled into one while he continues to thank people. Brushing it off as just him needing to focus on one person in the audience is easy enough especially as your nerves start to truly hit you when it comes to your own nomination. Your heartbeat rushes in your ears a constant thrum as the names are read off until you hear them say your name and you see your castmates clapping and pushing you out of your chair. You're so thankful you didn't pick a dress with an obscenely long train because you can focus on walking and you do up until the point when you see Austin's body in front of you. Before you even have a chance to ask what he's doing you feel his large warm hands cup both sides of your face and pull you in for a kiss. Your own hands cup his face unbidden, forgetting that you two are on live television and forgetting that his girlfriend is right there. When you pull away your shocked eyes search his eyes for an answer only to get a look of pure love that you recognize, if only because he's given that look to you as Elvis so many times.

The speech you give is not the one you intended to, it's discombobulated and you swear a little nonsensical but it's over as soon as it happens and you find yourself whisked away to the backstage area where you see Austin of all the people standing there. There's an urge to slap him that threatens to bubble up to the surface before you pull him aside and snarl at him.

"What the fuck, Austin?" You pause. "What was that? Why- Why aren't you with Kaia?"

Austin pulls you farther away, into a small room of some kind before he sinks to his knees and frowns. "That- That was me kissing you. And we're- I don't need to be with her, she's twenty one years old, Y/N."

The next words that leave you are hissed as you look down at Austin on the floor, on his knees looking like he's wanting to find his way under your dress. "She's your girlfriend. Get off the floor." Your eyes dart around Austin, trying to not focus on how he looks as he looks up at you and licks his lips.

"She's my ex-girlfriend," he clarifies, as his hand moves to touch your calf, earning a slight shiver from you. "I- We should have gone together. I should have- I wanted you, I want you. Let me just- Let me make it up to you, please. Then you can be mad at me."

You raise an eyebrow at his words, wondering just what he means has his hand moves slowly upward until it reaches your thigh and you shiver, your chest heaving ever so slowly as you whisper. "Austin- You-" You shut your eyes and for once let yourself enjoy something, like he said, he wants to make it up to you, he wants to beg for your forgiveness on his knees. You can let him and then be mad at him like he says. "Please."

Your murmured please is all he needs to push up the fabric of your dress, exposing your underwear covered vagina. The underwear is pulled down enough in a flash as he wastes no time in burying his face in your crotch, inhaling a deep breath before his tongue starts to work you open. He licks at you, flicks his tongue against your clit, in your cunt, everywhere he seems to be able to reach. It's all too much and too little all at once as your hands move to grab at his hair, pulling it and earning a moan from him that he lets out around your clit. You shouldn't enjoy this as much as you do, you shouldn't be letting him do this even though you've dreamed at how his stubble would feel against your pussy, how it'd feel against your thighs. The feel of his fingers and of coolness of the two rings that are on his fingers against your pussy have you clenching around them and you hear him chuckle a little as you feel a rush of embarrassment at your reaction.

For someone who has never had sex with you and someone who- despite flirting with like your life depended on it out of character- doesn't know how exactly to pleasure you in the exact what you want, he's doing a phenomenal job. There's still calluses on his fingers that you want to ask where he's gotten them from but you feel the roughness of them against your clit and that and all other thoughts flutter away in a hiss of pleasure. He pulls away just slightly kissing your thigh and whispering words you never thought you'd hear from him. Whispers of his love and adoration for you on and off set, how he loves how you scrunch your face and how he knows this year is just the beginning for you and how he loves you and wants you to be his. It's too much for you, the words circling around in your head as you feel his fingers curl against your g-spot and feel his mouth sucking your clit that you let out a choked off shout, stopping the sound with your forearm against your mouth.

Your breath comes in short pants for a good few minutes as you lean up against a wall, not trusting your legs to hold you up as you try and recover, a fresh spike of arousal hitting you the moment you look down and see Austin's face glistening with your cum. Austin manages to push himself off the ground as you stare at him, his head tilting as he tries to get a read on you. You know you shouldn't know this is unwise but you can't help but messily kiss him, wanting to taste his tongue and taste how it mixes with your taste. He responds in kind, a growl forming in his chest as he tries to deepen it only to have you pull away and push him away from you.

"I'm- You might have ruined this night for me, Austin. Not- this. This was the only good thing I think you did." You shake your head, the anger you feel starting to push its way to the surface after your orgasm has cleared your head. "You kissing me is all everyone is going to talk about because you're still with Kaia." Austin starts to cut you off before you shake your head. "Even if you're broken up, no one knows that but the two of you. I didn't even know that and you decided to kiss me as I'm about to get an award I worked so hard on."

"Y/N- I-" He pauses and looks down at the ground apologetically. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I should have thought about it but I'm not going to apologize for kissing you. I wanted to kiss you, I've been wanting to kiss you-"

Your hand waves him off. "You could have, Austin, you could have broken up with Kaia ages ago or whenever you had this realization but you didn't. And now I look like a fool and like someone who you're cheating on your girlfriend with. Making your break up when it goes public look like my fault."

"Babe-" He starts before you glare at him, pulling up your underwear and straightening out your dress.

"Don't even think about it." Because he does not deserve to call you babe or baby or apologize with words like he's going to try to after what he's done tonight. "I'm- Austin- if you want to be with me like you seem to claim. Figure out what in the hell is going on with you and Kaia and whatever is going on with you as a person and come find me. I have to go answer a million questions about you kissing me now."

Your hand moves to open the door and you think about not looking back, think about walking out the door in a dramatic sort of huff before you sigh and look back. Austin's frowning as he stares at the floor, rubbing his head. Comforting him crosses your mind but you shake your head to yourself as you swing the door open, not even giving Austin the dignity of a farewell as you exit into the cacophony of noise outside the door.

[forever-fixating]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @onthewaytosomewhere. This week I'm sharing a one-shot I've been working on. I was possessed by the demon that is Nicholas Galitzine who bombarded my poor fangirl heart with both Mary & George and The Idea of You trailer. I haven't been the same since, and I refuse to admit just how many times I've listened to that fucking song. (Spoiler alert: it's a lot.)

Anywho, I was inspired by that kiss in the trailer (Anne, Nick, I am just a simple bisexual person. You can't just DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT and expect me to have a normal response!!!) and the wonderful story Clean Slate by smc_27 on AO3 and of course, my fandom bestie @priincebutt The Story of Us to add my own popstar age-gap AU into the mix. I hope you enjoy this nonsense as much as I enjoy writing it. Should be ready soon. Toodles!

The band joined them twenty minutes later, and Alex announced, “I am starving. Are you ladies hungry?”

Henry stood as the girls giggled and nodded. They followed behind as the group headed outside to a large black SUV. The girls joined June and Nora in the middle section, and Alex grinned, “Guess you’re stuck in the back with me, Uncle Henry.”

Henry rolled his eyes as Cash opened the door for them. “Henry is fine, thanks.”

“Yes, he is.”

Henry’s heart skipped several beats as he climbed inside the SUV. Was this man hitting on him? He suddenly felt flushed and tugged off Pez’s jacket, trying to calm his racing heart and mind. He scooted against the other door for some distance, only for Alex to move to the center of the seat, their knees grazing each other. Henry, grasping for any semblance of control, called out, “Seat belts, girls!”

June and Nora turned to look at him, and June said, “They’re all buckled up. My mom drilled that into me and Alex’s brains growing up.”

“You two look cozy,” Nora said with a smirk.

Henry gave a nervous chuckle and said, “I’m just happy to be somewhere quieter. I don’t know how you all do it night after night.”

“I thrive on it,” Alex replied, leaning back into the plush leather seats. He looked at Henry through eyelashes that didn’t seem real outside of fiction. “Doesn’t matter if it’s ten people or ten thousand…being surrounded by a sea of people all there to see you. It’s out of this world.”

Henry relaxed into his seat as they pulled away from the stadium, Alex’s cologne filling his senses. It was spice, leather, and a hint of something floral—pure intoxication. The girls chattered in front, and Alex asked, turning his body toward Henry, “So what do you do when you’re not busy being the best uncle ever?”

Henry shrugged, looking down at his hands holding the leather jacket. “My life is quite dull. I volunteer at a youth shelter, help my best mate at his art gallery, and write.”

“Oh? Anything I’ve read?”

Henry hesitated. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by his work. He had it on good authority that, past the smutty allure, his fans genuinely connected with the characters of his books. But the subject matter was decidedly graphic and not something he wanted to discuss around his twelve-year-old nieces. Finally looking at Alex again, he said dismissively, “Probably not. I write for myself and a small but passionate audience.”

Alex was undeterred. “Try me. I read constantly, especially when I’m on tour. If anything, it will give me something new.”

“Fine,” Henry replied, rolling his eyes. “My most popular series is probably Dark Olympus. As a queer teen, I was obsessed with Greek mythology and-”

“Wait,” Alex said suddenly, his eyes widening, “you’re George St. James?”

It was Henry’s turn to be surprised. “Wait, are you seriously saying you read that series?”

“Dude, I’ve read everything you’ve ever written, even the straight stuff! The Beast was part of my bisexual awakening!” Alex exclaimed. He leaned forward, smacking the back of the seat, and said, “Nora, June! This guy is George St. James.”

The two women spun around, June saying, “No way! Oh my God, I just finished rereading Blood on the Tide from your Crimson Sails series. I’m obsessed! Please tell me you’re working on another book soon because I need it like yesterday.”

“Seriously,” Nora seconded, her curls bouncing as she nodded. “We’ll give you whatever you want if you give us advanced copies.”

Henry must be in a coma, and this was some bizarre dream his drug-addled mind conjured before his siblings pulled the plug. How else could he be sitting in an SUV with one of the most popular bands in the country, who are apparently fans of his books? Penelope and Grace turned their heads as well, Grace giggling, “Are you talking about Uncle Henry’s smutty books? Our mum says we aren’t allowed to read them.”

“With good reason,” Henry said sternly, looking at his bemused nieces. He returned his attention to the trio and said, baffled, “I’ll get with my agent? God, this is so bizarre. I can’t believe you’ve read my books.”

“It’s all Alé’s fault,” Nora said, winking at the singer. “When he finds something he likes, his little ADHD brain latches onto it and falls down an obsession rabbit hole.”

“Shut up, Nora,” Alex said through clenched teeth. The calm and confident veneer from earlier was shattered, and Henry marveled at how alarmingly human Alex was then. But, to Henry’s immense frustration, that made him all the more charming and attractive. He needed to get a grip. This was nothing. It wasn’t ever going to be anything. This was just three very kind young popstars sharing a meal with two fans and their awkward-as-dog’s-bullocks uncle, and that was it.

Again: Nicholas Galitzine, this is all your fault.

Cover Art because I'm a nerd and enjoy having art for my stories on here:

[si-cucumber]

Mazz's Top 5 Shows (as of 8/23)

So I’ve been debating on letting my inner theater geek out on here for a while, but I also realize that....this is my blog so I can talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about.

If somehow you didn’t know already, I am and always have been a theater kid. I’ve been lucky enough to have seen tons of live theater in my day, whether it’s community, national tours, or in New York. And now that my current touring season is over, and I continue to gush over the amazing shows I’ve seen the past few months, I think it’s time for me to officially update my Top 5 Show list. 

5.) Six (US Tour)

So fun fact, I just saw this for the first time yesterday. I've been a fan of Six since it opened in the West End and waited super patiently for it to tour. It was entirely electric, the crowd was beyond into it, and the vocal talent was so stunning that I instantly bought tickets to see it again. That has never happened to me before. I was incredibly blown away and look forward to seeing it again next weekend lmao

4.) Next To Normal (Broadway, 2010)

This was my very first Broadway show on my first trip to New York. This was baby's first online fandom. Back in the day, my friends and I ruled the n2n category on FFnet. It was my first experience with fanfiction and fandom and it was fantastic. This show was everything angsty, teenage Mazz needed at the time. Being able to see the original cast and it being my first real Broadway show, it will always hold a special place in my heart!

3.) Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2023 Revival)

I saw this back in June when I went to New York last! Actually, the whole reason for my trip was just to see this, especially since I missed out on Josh Groban in Great Comet. The most star-studded cast I've ever seen, tons of heavy-hitters. Sweeney Todd was a favorite of teenage Mazz and his theater friends. We'd spend our weekends in my friend's basement performing "A Little Priest" to the best of our ability. Even though I know this show inside and out, I was still on the edge of my seat by the end. Annaleigh Ashford was the stand-out for me. She was robbed of that Tony.

2.) Beetlejuice (National Tour)

I saw this back in January with one of my best friends. I've loved this show since it debuted ages ago, and was probably the best show I saw this touring season! The absolute funniest show I've ever seen. Like, we were laughing so loud and hard I'm pretty sure we were annoying the people around us lmao. But nonetheless, it was an excellent production and I left dying to see it again (no...pun intended).

1.) Some Like It Hot (Broadway 2023)

I will never ever ever stop talking about this show. Hands down, best show I have ever seen. The amount of joy i felt for hours after seeing this was incredible. I was so lucky to see this during pride month, so I have a pride version of the playbill, which is so so special to me. It was so refreshing to see a classic, jazz musical again and the choreography? Insane. Like jaw dropping insane. The final chase sequence blew my mind.

But what struck me the most was seeing a queer actor onstage playing a canonically trans character. A character who was done so well and felt so organic. I saw this at the point in my transition where I really started presenting and dressing masculinely. I was the little awkward trans guy from Ohio, alone in the big city, sat at the front of the mezzanine hearing the crowd cheer for Daphne. After months of feeling dread about the state of this country and the fear of being outwardly trans, this was just...the perfect thing at the perfect time. The amount of gender euphoria I felt was incredible, it was so moving to me. It will always hold a special place in my heart and that is why it's my number one.

So that is my current list! Will it change? Probably at some point lmao. My next season starts in October, and I look forward to seeing what awaits me next.

[not-terezi-pyrope]

I’m back bitches!

You hear some rumblings off in the distance. You look up from your work and stare out into the distance... a strange shape is on the horizon...

Yup, I’m planning to go back to using my Tumblr more regularly, after all but abandoning my long-time Homestuck blog at the end of 2019. To this end I have revamped the blog/theme somewhat. I will explain more about why I left, why I’m back, and what I will be doing with this blog below the cut!

Back in 2019 I was having real issues with the fandom culture on tumblr, and in an effort to engage less with Bad Discourse I moved to twitter, where I have been semi-active ever since. However, in that time I have come to multiple realizations:

Twitter is just as bad if not worse than tumblr was/is.

Twitter is worse than tumblr in pretty much all ways regardless, especially now Elon is in charge.

I am better at handling bizarro fandom discourse these days, especially as I am no longer so heavily involved in fandom/Homestuck fandom zeitgeist as I used to be.

Fandom/social media as a whole is slightly less bad in this regard than it was a few years ago, in some circles at least.

That said, fair warning, I will still be curating my social media experience so as to avoid as much of the Bad Discourse as possible, especially “anti-ship”/”purity culture” styles of thinking. I am generally extremely open to freedom of fictional expression if appropriately tagged and warned for, which may be variously described by the (endlessly misused and bastardized but still maybe useful) “pro-ship” or “pro-fic” labels, so if you are going to yell at me for anything along those lines please kindly unfollow and do not.

The former purpose of this blog was essentially exclusively for Homestuck fan content - I said in the past that I would be branching out more, but I never really fully ended up moving away from this being primarily a Homestuck blog. I... may still not do that in practice, because I still like reblogging Homestuck fanworks, but I won’t feel constrained to only that. I will likely be interacting with friends more and talking about a lot more diverse things, so set expectations accordingly.

Lastly, life updates! I remain a trans woman, and since I last seriously posted here I have started HRT (yay!). I also graduated from my comp-sci program, and am now doing postgraduate studies to do with Machine Intelligence. (On that note, seeing as it is a current hot-button issue, my opinions on AI are a lot more positive than seems to be the current social media consensus, but I am happy to justify my thoughts on the issue, which is more complex than people typically tend to present it (there is a lot of misinfo flying around)).

Oh, and here is what I look like these days!

See you around!

[barbatos-sama]

now that i'm not associated with that one person who i was informed might be a kiddie creepo anymore, i feel more comfortable with saying i am confident they were faking DID. i used to kinda fall into the trap that it's an intracommunity issue and someone without it should Never accuse someone else of faking but bruh sometimes it's So obvious someone straight up does not have something. especially upon further researching the specifics of DID, the stuff they were saying was kind of ridiculous. they'd basically say they had alters of every character from whatever media they were currently fixated on, and every time they'd move fandoms suddenly new alters would pop up even though they weren't experiencing any ongoing trauma. then conveniently when they'd grow out of whatever fandom they were in, their alters would go away. they'd make tons of drawings of their supposed alters that basically just looked like oc reference sheets, and adding up all the alters from all the media they had they probably had at Least two hundred of them. they said they had no trauma that caused it and that they also didn't experience memory loss which is like The thing that categorizes DID and separates it from other dissociative disorders. they'd also get into discourse basically saying that nobody is allowed to question anyone who says they have DID and if they do they're horrible people, and this branch of the community seems to even demonize professionally diagnosed people; basically there seems to be a split between diagnosed and self-diagnosed people and they seem to view diagnosed people as the meanies who question them, even if said meanies don't even do it in a persecutory way, just suggesting that perhaps they're mistaking their symptoms for DID when they could have another personality disorder or dissociative based disorder. which, i do believe a decent chunk fakers may genuinely believe they have it, especially since i've gone down a rabbit hole of self admitted fakers talking about the specifics of why they did it, and a lot of them describe discord servers or other communities based around DID where people basically enable each other and try super hard to convince newcomers they have DID and even kick out people who realize they don't actually have it, and it legit sounds cultlike.

i just needed to ramble about it because maybe i sound like an asshole but there really is a phenomenon in the past tenish years where a certain mental illness becomes cool and trendy and suddenly everyone has it and then they grow out of it and move on to the next trendy disorder. like i think it really started with the b p d epidemic in the 2010s and then it switched to tourette's and now DID is the current in-thing which is wild because it's such a hard disorder to fake but they're still trying anyway and all they're doing is acting like caricatures of what real DID is like and making real ppl with DID look bad. i just kinda had to sit there and watch this person get into this cringey shenanigans and tolerate it because they gave me money so often ahdhdhfj

[abiiors]

ok i had a full nights sleep. i am coherent. i am fixing to copy/paste the tweets here for your enjoyment. its a lot.

ok so parx twit had a “trend” on unpopular opinions about the band during the sneaking out of heaven tour (their most recent one) one person said this

“Had to be said. You forgot his over dependence on nyquil and sleep drugs that borderlines abuse, he claims he's straight edge though ✨”

she deleted and posted a noted app apology

“Hey friends, I'm writing this to you, not just as an apology for writing dumb shit on twitter with no thought behind it, but to also share that I do suffer from my own personal addiction to pain medication, and have been since I was 17. Addiction is a real thing, it's a problem and it should be talked about, but not at the expense of others and making baseless assumptions. We all know where false acusations can lead, and it's never a good time. I've been reflecting on my previous inflammatory tweet about Awsten and his use of Nyquil and I want to say that I am truly sorry for my, dumb, offensive and very thoughtless tweet. I didn't stop to think before I wrote something so dumb and hurtful and I'm sorry for that. I'm not perfect, l'm human and I make mistakes. I know I fucked up hard and I'm sorry to anyone that was offended by my words. I can delete a tweet, but I can't take away the fact that I wrote it, and that it's out there causing anger to people, so l'm acknowledging that, and owning my mistakes. I am also very greatful to the people that took the time to educate me on this, I always appreciate any guidance. Moving forward I want to do better, internet etiquette is hard to get right especially when you're in a fandom spanning multiple generations and culture's but l'm definately gonna try harder.”

awsten saw the tweets and now that tour has been over for a while he has responded.

“HEY AND BTW WHEREVER THAT ACORNBRAIN WALMARTMOUTH BREATHING TWITTER DULLED CLOWN IS AT THAT SAID I HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM BC I TAKE ZZZQUIL TO SLEEP IN A BUS ON A THIN ASS MATTRESS, I APPRECIATE UR CONCERN AND I HAVENT HAD ANY SINCE TOUR ENDED, YOU CURED ME OF MY ADDICTION”

“GET COOKED WORMBREATH DUMBASS !!! I HOPE YOURE LIKE 14 BECAUSE IF YOURE OPERATING LIKE THIS AT FULLY GROWN, I FEEL SO SAD FOR YOU HAHA PAINT DRINKER”

he quoted a tweet with this after that.

“THIS AND THEN SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE SMELLING BLOOD IN THE WATER SWOOP IN TO PAT THEMSELVES ON THE BACK AND ABSOLVE THEM LIKE A PRIEST SAYING "we weren't trying to cancel u we wanted to hold you accountable thank you" LMFAO0000000 I LAUGH EVERY TIME, ITS A FULL CIRCLE OF STUPID”

“it's either a notes app apology or an "i'm taking a break" and they go priv and come back in like two days” ^quoted tweet

he also tweeted a picture of a confessional with “you are… forgiven”

“DUMBEST HILLS HAVE EYES MUTANTS ON HERE WILL BE LIKE “uM personally i think he is so immature and Anyone should be allowed to say Anything and Everything at All Times with no repercussions” SIKE BITCH THIS IS THE REAL WORLD OPEN YOUR EYES”

the person who tweeted what hes talking about is between 32-34 and followed them for a majority of the us tour. they flew in from australia for it. somebody tweeted the photo of the tweet that caused him to say that cropped so the persons @ was cut out and his response to that was

“NO MORE CROPPING NAMES, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, WE SHAME IDIOTS, WE SHAPE THE FUTURE”

“WORLD PEACE

IM OUT”

her response to the paint drinker shit was

“loved waking up to you caling me an idiot, thanks Awsten. This fucked up my mental health something fierce and put me in a really bad place”

“Woke up and burst into tears, thanks Awsten”

and a “Awsten what the fuck”

hold on ill link a few of my favorite tweets from the situation because now what the fuck tweet is a whole fuckin joke.

https://x.com/lowkeyashan/status/1782178428982059407?s=46

https://x.com/aioevera7/status/1782185227428729005?s=46

https://x.com/tantrxmbee/status/1782170160209531077?s=46

-🦞

okay what i'm about to say might be a bad an unpopular take because i only have the context that you've given me in this ask so idk if this user used to be disliked before this, or used to be beloved or super popular or whatever else.

anyway i think awsten is... in the wrong here.

this is not to say that the user who tweeted about his alleged drug addiction is saintly and pure and innocent, that was a fucked up tweet to make regardless of if awsten would have seen and/or responded.

however... if i was a popular celeb with a wholeass fandom i would NEVER say these things publicly like sure i understand being mad that someone is talking to flippantly about drug use and speculating about your drug use online but then to go ahead and call them a bunch of names as well as essentially weaponise your fanbase in a way where they're now making memes about this person, making fun of them etc. i'm glad they're not 14 like he said but he didn't know if they were 14 or not, what if they were super young... what if someone who's barely a teenager had to deal with this not only from someone they adore but also from a whole fandom they considered their own??

anyway... yeah i hope tweetuser is fine and i'm glad there's no addiction here. ooofff that's a messy situation wow 😬

[kiss-my-freckle]

Stelenas saying Delena aren't like Pacey and Joey because they're toxic makes me laugh since Julie called Damon the show's Pacey and she wrote DC and shipped Joey with Pacey while Kevin shipped her with Dawson. I also think it's stupid how they hate on Damon for things like Elena walking in on him in 3x1 even though Pacey watched Joey take her clothes off in 1x10. Fandoms involving love triangles between siblings are more toxic than ones without, especially TVD, because I don't see the same amount of hypocritical nonsense in other fandoms or people making as big of a deal about many things they would if it was TVD. When they use personal issues to attack certain characters while letting ones like Stefan off the hook for the same it reinforces this idea in society where people side with people they like to assume they couldn't treat someone else badly and silence someone else who's mistreated. This parallel between them in season 6 is beautiful:

I've never really put much faith in all that "if you love someone, set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always-- I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now. Because this is it. I mean, this is all that we get. If there's one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned. Actually, um, hold on. I'm not done yet. Because I also want for you to be happy. It's really important for me that you be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man that you haven't even met yet. But I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point to this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives... is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook./When you became a vampire, part of me was thrilled because suddenly there was this possibility I could have you in my life forever, but then the other part of me was devastated because I realized you'd lost the life that you wanted to have. And since I've been gone, you've gotten part of that life back. You're thriving, you're happy. Yeah, sure. Maybe you'd be happy if we gave it another chance, but the truth is is... You're better off without me. I died. You started over. I need you to live your life. Be happy. I love you, Elena. Enough to let you go.

You know, for the record I, I don't wanna be let off the hook. Cause everything in my life that I've done has led me here, right now. And the last thing I want, need or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook./Look. I've... made some huge mistakes in my life. Being with you wasn't one of them, and, yes, I had Alaric compel away my love for you, and, yes, I did love Stefan once. The night I died, Matt was driving me back to him, and yet I found my way back to you. Damon, I somehow always find my way back to you. It doesn't matter if I have memories or not. It doesn't matter if I'm a vampire or not.

Please don't miss my point here 'cause—/You're just saying that because you can't change what you are.

And don't miss mine. Pacey, I love you, you know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it… and I love Dawson, he's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood... and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I just might get the notion that it's ok to keep running./No, Damon. I don't care what human me would have done because she's not here. I am. And if the past is a place without you and me together, then stop living in it.

Damon is Pacey, and they have a lot of great parallels.

I honestly blame Elena for walking in on Damon in 3x1. While he did know she was there, she would've had the respect to knock any other time. She walked through his door without knocking because she got another lead on Stefan and completely disregarded Damon in the process. Same level of disregard Lexi had when she pushed Stefan into that bar, not once considering the fact that it might be a bad time for Damon, so they ran into sired Charlotte and her dinner. Yeah, Elena earned seeing Damon naked.

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Writing Advice for Beginners: Do’s and Don’t’s

I mentioned a while back possibly posting some writing advice and sharing some of the things I’ve learned over the years as a writer. I’ve been writing since I was 11 years old (though not entirely consistently since then), and I have been writing pretty consistently for the past 6-7 years. I’m by no means a “professional” writer. I’ve never had anything published, but I have learned a lot writing for fandom, so if you’re looking to start writing or maybe level up your writing in fandom spaces, here are some beginner level tips that might help you!

DO create a new paragraph for new subjects. 

If you’re writing dialogue especially, follow the rule: new speaker, new paragraph. No one wants to read a big block of text and try to piece together who is speaking.

Correct: “Hey, you should read some of Cat’s writing on AO3,” Adrien said. 

“I’ve heard she has some great Ladrien content coming this summer.” Marinette nodded in agreement. 

Incorrect: “Do you think we’ll ever defeat Hawkmoth?” Ladybug asked. “Of course, m’lady! We’re an unstoppable team,” Chat Noir said. Ladybug smiled at her partner and took a deep breath. “You’re right. We won’t lose.”

DON’T swap character POVs within the same scene.

I am guilty of doing this in the past, and I think a lot of fandom writers are as well. I’ll give you an example from my own writing of what NOT to do:

His gaze flicked back down to her lips, and he leaned in once more, gently touching his lips to hers. A hand cupped her face, tenderly caressing her cheek while the other slid around her waist, and as much as she knew she shouldn’t, she let herself pretend that this was real. That Adrien loved her, and that they were really together.

For one small fraction of time, she didn’t worry about how much it would hurt later. How her heart would shatter and break when all was said and done. How painful it would be when she and Adrien went their separate ways, and she’d watch as he moved on with someone else.

She didn’t care. All that mattered to her were the soft lips entwined with her own, the gentle yet eager way he pulled her closer, tilting his head until his tongue slipped between her lips and made contact with hers. The soft moan that rumbled in his throat as she dared to reach up to curl her fingers through his golden locks that urged him to kiss her deeper until her back was against the couch as he pressed against her. The hungry way his tongue danced with her own and the breath shared between them that became heavier as they held tighter, hands knotting fistfuls of clothing and hair as what was meant to be a gentle melody evolved into a symphony.

Neither one cared to slow down. Adrien found himself just as lost in her as she was him, and he didn’t want to stop.

Marinette was a friend, a fact he knew this quite well, but something in this felt right. Kissing her was exhilarating and fun, and he had to admit, it felt pretty good. However, as was customary for his life, all good things came swiftly to an end, and when Nathalie cleared her throat forcefully, he felt the haze parting.

Pulling away, his eyes locked with Marinette’s who seemed just as dazed and confused as he did, and he realized how unconsciously entwined they’d become and quickly pushed away with flushed cheeks. Nathalie barely batted an eye as he looked up at her, wiping saliva from his mouth and fussing with his hair.

“But you just said new subject, new paragraph!” --Yes, but! When you’re writing a particular scene, it’s best to stick in one character’s POV at a time. If you must include a separate POV, use a scene break to indicate to your reader that you are changing POVs. Scene breaks can be anything from a series of dashes ------ or I personally tend to use ******* whatever floats your boat. 

As shown above, the start of their kiss is in Marinette’s POV, and the end of the kiss is in Adrien’s POV. Don’t do that. Pick one and stick to it. Jumping from character to character like that is known as “head-hopping,” and it can be jarring for the reader. it’s why idk how anyone can stand to read my fake dating au anymore it’s so bad omg 

Most importantly when you are writing a story with multiple POVs, you must establish whose head we are in immediately in a new scene. If you’re jumping from Marinette to Adrien, the beginning of your new scene should immediately let the reader know they are now following Adrien. **Note: This advice is for writing in a POV known as third-person limited. If you are writing third-person omniscient, this is a bit different, but that is a post for another day. 

DO learn the difference between action tags and dialogue tags

This is something I only learned within the past couple years. When writing dialogue, there are different ways that you can “tag” them. Dialogue tags tend to display how a character is speaking, so things like “said, shouted, whispered, groaned, asked.” Dialogue tags are usually preceded by a comma. I demonstrated this earlier in my first example, so we’ll use it.

“Hey, you should read some of Cat’s writing on AO3,” Adrien said.

This is an example of a dialogue tag. You’re simply just stating who said the dialogue. If you’re using a pronoun instead of the character’s name, be sure it’s lowercased. Ex:

“Hey, you should read some of Cat’s writing on AO3,” he said. 

Action tags are a bit different. Action tags are exactly what they sound like. They demonstrate actions that a character is taking either before, during, or after speaking. The dialogue preceding action tags is punctuated with a period. (unless it’s a question or if you’re using a “!”) Ex:

“I’ve heard she has some great Ladrien content coming this summer.” Marinette nodded in agreement. 

This is an action tag. You understand Marinette is speaking, but over-using dialogue tags can get boring to the reader, especially if your characters are having a long conversation. Action tags are often used to break up the monotony of a scene and also add movement, so it doesn’t look like your characters are just floating heads talking in a white room. (White room syndrome).

You can also opt not to tag a piece of dialogue at all, and there are instances where this is preferable. However, if you’re not going to tag who is speaking, it must be apparent who is speaking. Example:

“Hey, do you want to catch a movie with me this afternoon?” Marinette asked.

Adrien sighed, shoulders slumping. “I can’t. My father scheduled a photoshoot.”

“That’s okay. Maybe another time.”

In this example, you can infer that Marinette said the untagged dialogue. It helps break up some of that monotony as well during a long conversation. (I also moved Adrien’s action tag to the front to avoid overloading on “” at the beginning of every paragraph).

DON’T put your punctuation outside of the quotation marks. As you can see in all of the above examples, punctuation goes inside the quotes. 

Correct: “I love helping Cat demonstrate how to write proper dialogue,” Adrien said.

Incorrect: “Punctuation is tricky, but you can do it”! Marinette cheered. 

If you guys found this helpful and would like to see more writing advice from me, let me know! I’m not professional by any means, but I’d say I’m probably an intermediate writer at this point. At the end of the day, fandom isn’t going to call you out if you head-hop or make a few minor mistakes (I mean, some people will, but most people don’t care). But clean writing can make your stories more attractive to readers and help you grow as a writer if it’s something you want to continue. 

[awsugar]

I don’t understand why some big mcr blogs slate anyone who believes gerard and frank had a thing, like our view didn’t arise from nowhere there’s clearly evidence that has led us to think this. I get disliking those who push frerard in frank and Gerard’s faces (barely anyone does this nowadays) but slating people for believing they had something in the past is kinda ridiculous imo. Franks solo music speaks volumes but if you read into it you’re demonised as a frerardie

mmmmm am i down to clown today... ok i will speak.

actually im going to put this under a cut bc my last ask was a long one and i feel like i am going to talk about this for way too long bc its 1am and im honestly a little tipsy.

note: i just finished answering this it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time and i dont think the person who asked this is even going to read it but i apparently have a lot of thoughts and no one ever wants to listen to me lol 

firstable yea actually unfortunately anytime they do a livestream, or anytime anyone SOMEHOW RELATED to them does a livestream. there are ppl in the chat talking about frerard. they both have comments off on insta now, i didnt actually read the comments that much and franks have been off for ages but im positive there were people in the comments talking about frerard. i mean fuck, franks LAST tweet he qrted someone who tagged him in the replies of a pic of The Kiss. so i mean yea its definitely not a majority but it still happens extremely frequently.

this is like. genuinely really funny to me bc im sure frank didnt see it, i think he knows enough not to look at the chat for the most part. but the moral is that its 2021 and people STILL dont know how to act. i wont go on about it but it actively enrages me anytime i watch a stream. rule one of real person fandoms is keep all that shit in your fan spaces. which is actually why i prefer tumblr. none of them are on here. actively engaging in mcr fandom on twitter is too close for comfort, especially since frank follows a handful of my friends and also like. knows me.

so like moral of my most times unavoidable wall of text is that ppl are right to be frustrated with the fans who act this way. i am extremely frustrated with them. and i think for the people who have never like tinhatted or anything, this type of behavior stands out and makes an impression and becomes the like. poster child for ppl who are like 'hmmmmm but what if.' about the frank and gerard stuff.

anyway, moving on, i think a lot of peoples hang up is that they view it as rpf. which i have a couple things to say about actually. its no secret that i have read a lot of rpf. i had never heard of fanfiction until i started getting into mcr in 2008. that was my introduction. and at the time, in that community, it was completely normal. and it was for a loooooooooong time. i knew of people who didnt read fic or felt weird about it but the majority of people i interacted with DID read fic. and on top of that, the people who didn;t were nothing like they are today. we all got along. no one was like demonizing people who did read fic. in 2012 when i think mcr tumblr was at its peak, ALL of the most popular blogs were "frerardies" (hate that term). they all talked about and recced fic and a lot of them wrote it too. everyone had a boyfriends tag. anyway when i came BACK to the mcr fandom in 2016 after a couple years away post-breakup it was still like that. people talked about fic all the time and you didnt have to like, hide it in fear of being labeled as a terrible person.

i always discussed this stuff, fic and theories, openly on this blog. for YEARS. the first time i noticed the rpf shift was 2019 tbh, when my blog was suspended and i (not related) had a mental health crisis and i spent a handful of months off tumblr, when i remade on a different blog suddenly it seemed like people were like noooo you cant talk about that. ppl who read fic are disgusting. if you think something happened between them you're homophobic. i was like honestly baffled bc i didnt know how it had seemingly changed so much in a matter of like 4 months or so. but thats the society we live in now lmao.

anyway the other thing about rpf is that i think most of these people are hypocrites. bc almost everyone makes an exception for unholyverse. theyre like ok i will dabble in the most popular fic and see what its about while still demonizing the people who read OTHER fics. like ugh.

also i have noticed its an age thing. a lot of the time. almost every mcr fan i personally interact with or know, which is a lot of people, read fic, used to read fic and just sort of grew out of it, and/or (usually and) believe something happened between them. but everyone i interact with is an adult and all of my closer friends are long time mcr fans like me. i feel like the percentage of fans who are minors who are extremely anti-rpf is way higher than the percentage of adults. and i think thats just due to the fan culture we grew up with and the fact that young people a lot of times are like..it seems very performative in an attempt to be the least problematic person that ever lived.

also random side note its really funny to keep updated with this debate on twitter. they literally yoyo there. frerard is ok on a bi-weekly basis.

anyway back to what i was originally saying which was that people view tinhatting as rpf and therefor not okay. which like idk maybe i sound crazy but i also always said this when i was in the phandom and discussing like dan and phil and whether or not they were soulmates before they came out, i don't think tinhatting is rpf. or like. idk theres a part of me that can see why people think rpf is a bad thing even though if i was famous i wouldnt care if people wrote fics about me. but like. analyzying the real life things that people have done and said in public (important). in order to try to contextualize their relationship or understand that dynamic better. well i mean first of all its not fiction. but like i do think its a lot different than writing explicit bdsm fic about them.

and i know a lot of the people on here who dont like actively participate in these conversations do like. see where we're coming from. with the frank lyrics and millions and like all of that stuff. they just dont talk about it. i mean *I* have stopped mostly talking about it at all unless its vague, due to the current climate and opinion. and sometimes we'll all have a moment of hysteria where we've all decided its ok to speak about. me right now apparently.

anyway im positive no one read all of this. i need to learn how to be brief but ive been saying that my whole life. but you're right. to me its clear that there's a bigger story behind it than frank and gerard just being buddies who were in a band together. a logical conclusion. and i wish we could just all get along again instead of people being sooooo mad about it.

[bubblegumfanfictions]

Falling in Love again.

Fandom- Bleach

Ships- Kisuke Urahara x Reader

Warnings- Some language, Implied Sexual Assault, Past sexual Assault.

Summary- Imagine a tally mark appearing on your skin every time you fall in love. When your tally mark is Red then it's onesided, Black then the love is returned. If it is scarred then your love ended traumatically.

You have a scarred tally mark and a red tally mark, the red one being for Kisuke Urahara.

Word Count- 3,928

You led in bed staring down at your wrist where a single red tally mark decorated your skin. In this world, a tally mark showed your love. People who fell in love easily were littered with marks, whereas the people who were only in love with one person would have one. If the mark is red it's unrequited, if it was Black then the person you love returns your feelings.

Your singular red mark was for Kisuke Urahara, a friend of your friends. You went to his shop with your friends whenever they needed something from him seeing as that seemed to be your only excuse to see him. You didn't want to come across as weird for visiting on your own. Especially when you have no real powers like the others.

Annoyingly you had one other mark on your arm, a scarred tally mark, one from your ex. In this world a scarred tally would mean that your love for them ended very abruptly and traumatically. No one knew about that tally, you were very good at keeping it hidden, whether it was with a well placed bracelet or a long sleeved shirt.

Rolling onto your side you let out a huff. It hurts, it shouldn't but it does. Knowing that the one man you love doesn't feel the same way. You barely get to see him since your friends don't visit that often. But you'll take whatever time you can with him even if you don't get to talk.

Well, only time will tell.

---

"Y/N!!!" A fist slammed against the door multiple times as Ichigo's voice yelled your name. "C'mon man! We've gotta get to Hat 'n' Clogs!" Sleepily, you raised your head taking a glance out of your open window.

"Wh-what for?" The early morning rasp in your voice made it a note or so deeper than it actually was. You stretched out and hopped out of bed throwing on the nearest clothing you had, which happened to be a (f/c) long knit sweater, a pair of black leggings and some brown boots.

"Y/N! We haven't got all day, move your ass!" You shook your head and ran out of the house not brushing your hair, figuring you could comb it down with your fingers on the way there.

By the time you got there you realised there was no point fixing your hair until you got inside in the first place. It was so windy outside that your hair just kept blowing around which made it worse than before. "Hey, come in guys." You froze for a moment as heat rushed to your face, you brushed a small amount of hair over your face, hoping he didn't notice it.

Quickly yet quietly you walked into the shop following behind Ichigo whilst you brushed down your hair. Kisuke stopped you briefly "You missed a spot." and with nimble hands, he began to flatten down your hair. "There, done." He gave you his signature grin, placing a hand onto the small of your back leading you to the rest.

Once Kisuke leads you to your friends he then gets down to business. “So, I am assuming you guys are here for the training grounds, right?” The ginger he questioned nods his head. You didn’t have any special abilities at all, but your friends knew you were great moral support and a generally good person so they let you in on their secret.

Most of the time you find days like this one quite boring, sure you’d get to see Kisuke but you usually have nothing to do. On some days you would help Tessai, Jinta and Ururu with their work or well, in Jinta and Ururu’s case, you would do their work for them.

When your friends finish training and all head home Kisuke typically gives you something for your time. At first he would give you the equivalent of minimum wage for the amount of work you do but recently (due to finding out your love for (favourite collectable)) he would end up getting you those instead.

The boys and Orihime go down into the training room, leaving you upstairs in the shop with Kisuke. “So, um… Is there anything you need me to do today?” you asked in your typically meek voice. Being with Kisuke made you so nervous you could barely talk, so being able to say that was a blessing.

Kisuke tilted his hat back with his thumb as he thought about things you could do around the shop. “Not that I can think of, for once Jinta and Ururu did the work I assigned for them.” You fake gasped at his comment. They finished their work… Early?

“No way, Jinta and Ururu finished their work? Damn that never happens.” Kisuke laughed at your comment and squeezed your shoulder. Yeah, when you did hang out with Kisuke alone you did have a lot of fun, but you still don’t like to intrude if you don’t have a reason to.

“Tell me about it.”

“Well what am I meant to do then?!” You dramatically waved your arms in the air in exasperation. When you did so Kisuke caught sight of the two tally marks and promptly grabbed your wrist.

“A Scar and a Red tally mark. I’m sure those are both fun stories.” He lightly massaged the scarred tally on your wrist making you flinch. He looked up at you in concern, dropping your arm. “Sorry.”

“It is fine, I’m just- No one has ever seen that before, as you can imagine I’m not particularly keen on anyone seeing that one..” You explain, rubbing the scar to try and ease some of the emotional turmoil.

“Does anyone know? Ichigo? Orihime? Chad?” He listed off some of your friends and to each one you shook your head. No one knew this, and you were planning on keeping it a secret from everyone, not even Kisuke was meant to know. “Would you mind telling me?” You shook your head once more. You didn’t even want to remember the scar, much less the asshole who caused it.

Kisuke rubbed your shoulder, trying to soothe your pain with a small smile on his face. "It's fine, you don't have to talk about it. But if you ever need to, I'll be happy to listen." Tears start to pool in your eyes, you've never spoken about it to anyone outside of your family, maybe it would be good. But not now.

You gave Kisuke a tight hug, the tears in your eyes spilling out. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." You kept repeating over and over into his chest. Kisuke was shocked at first but wrapped his arms around you, rubbing his fingertips up and down your spine to calm you down, his cheek pressed into your hair.

Both of you stayed that way for a while until you finally calmed down, letting go of the tall, green clad man. "I'm sorry about that- I should probably head home." You scrubbed at your eyes with the sleeve of your jumper with an appreciative smile on your face.

"Hey, it is fine." Kisuke messed up your hair with one of his hands. "It is nothing to worry about, just know that I am here if you need to talk. Just because you don't have powers doesn't mean you can't come here whenever you want to." He cups your face in his hands with a grin "YOU are an absolute pleasure to have here, okay?" You nodded your head, still too upset to really speak properly. "Good."

Kisuke walks you to the door once you calmed down enough and saw you out. "Hope to see you here soon, Y/N." You nodded your head.

"That will probably be when they come here again." You smiled at him, waving your hand as you walked home.

------- Timeskip to a week later. -------

You walk home from the shops as you keep looking down at the shopping list, making sure that you have everything. Your mother had asked you to go down because she forgot some ingredients she needed. It was getting a little dark and it was kind of scary being by yourself, but at the same time you did enjoy the peace and quiet.

"Ohhh, Look who it is." Your face paled, you knew that voice anywhere, he was the reason for the scar. "Why do you look so scared, don't you remember the fun we had together?" You bit your lower lip harshly, weighing out your options. Urahara's shop wasn't that far away so you could make a break for it, but you knew he was a fast runner.

With a groan you made your choice and dashed to the shop. "Oi! Get back here you stupid cunt!" Of course, you could hear the sound of heavy footfalls hitting the asphalt behind you, this was inevitable. But if you got close enough to the shop you knew that you'd be able to at least get someone's attention, whether it was Jinta, Ururu, Kisuke or Tessai.

"Oh, Y/n I knew you enjoyed our time together, you remembered how much I enjoyed the struggle. Although you were so much more compliant when you slept." You stopped dead in your tracks, you hated him, you hated thinking about him... About the things he has done and the fact that you loved him once. He laughed at your stop, you were almost right outside of the shop by this point, but that didn't matter.

"Do you finally agree with me Y/n? Do you finally see that it is all you're good for?" You were trembling by this point, not from fear, oh no; from pure hatred. You dropped the bag you were holding in your dominant hand and with a quick turn you put all of your anger into your movements and punched him in the face, knocking him to the floor.

Your body, however, was still shaking. You wanted to hurt him, you wanted to hurt him bad. How was it fair that he got out of the relationship with nothing yet you with a heart full of anxiety and fear. You readied yourself to hit him again with the fist that already had blood on it since you broke his nose when you heard a voice call out to you.

"Y/n? Y/n? Are you okay?" Your head turned towards the store, and stood in the doorway was none other than Kisuke Urahara. You didn't even look down at him. You sprinted as fast as you could to Kisuke, pushing him inside of the building before sliding the door shut.

You led your back against the door as you slid down it, landing yourself on the floor. Your eyes were wide, frightened- Kisuke has never seen you with that expression, you looked terrified. Knowing something was up, he locked the store up and left the room, coming back with a warm cup of tea, sitting next to you.

He handed you the cup and spoke with a quiet voice, trying not to scare you. "What was all that about? Are you okay?" You shook your head, keeping your face directed towards the cup in your hands, which were still trembling. "Did you want to talk about it once you're calmed down?" You nodded your head, Kisuke was silent for a few seconds, as if contemplating whether or not he should say anything. "Did you want a hug?" You nodded again.

Kisuke wasted no time wrapping his left arm around you to pull you into his side, he used his thumb to rub little circles into your side as his head rested on top of yours. "It'll be okay, Y/n. You'll be okay, just breathe. Whatever happened won't happen anymore, you're safe here." He kept whispering to you.

Eventually, you finished the drink he made you and hugged him back. His face was now completely in your hair as he kissed the top of your head. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Y-yeah, thank you..." You stuttered out, tired from what had just occurred.

"Good, if you want I can run you a bath and get you some fresh clothes. You can stay the night if you don't feel safe to head back, okay?" You nodded your head, but then you remembered your mother. As if reading your thoughts, Kisuke spoke up again. "I'll phone your mum while you're in the bath and fill her in, how does that sound?"

"That sounds good, thank you Kisuke." He rubbed your head and stood up, offering you his hand.

After your bath you had calmed down considerably, no longer shaking and being able to speak. Kisuke left some of his clothes folded up in the bathroom for you to change into (which you did). You sat on Kisuke's bed cross legged, trying to comprehend what happened today when there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

Kisuke walks into the room with your phone in his hand. "So I spoke to your mother, she said you could stay here for the night and that I should walk you home at some point tomorrow, or whenever depending on how long you want to stay." He sits next to you and continues. "She also told me who that guy was. Nothing about what happened, she just said that he is the scum of the earth."

You laughed "Yeah, that sounds about right. Due to what happened I don't ever call him my ex. Whenever anyone mentions him we just call him twat." Of course, Kisuke was very confused as to what happened but he already asked a few times so he didn't want to push it, but the look on his face told you everything. "I'll tell you what happened."

"You don't have to." He protested quickly, not knowing if it would upset you to talk about it.

"It is fine, I just have one condition. This is a very touchy subject for me so I was wondering if you could um--- how do I put this?" Kisuke chuckled, knowing what you meant, sitting back with you on his bed, pulling you into his side, much like when you were against the door.

"Take your time."

You took a deep breath and began. "He was my first boyfriend, if I can call him that. He was controlling, manipulative and abusive in more ways than one. He didn't let me talk about any guys, if I played a game wrong he would stop me from playing it. If he was horny I'd have to do something about it and so on... Well anyway, it got to the point where I-- I didn't want to do anything like that. He said he was fine with it... But-" Your breathing got heavier the further into explaining, tears began to form and fall from your eyes. You hated remembering this, but you were hoping that maybe this would be good in the long run.

"Hey, look at me." You hear Kisuke say gently as he turns your face to him. "I know it may not mean or do much but you're safe here, nothing is going to happen to you, I'll look after you, okay? There is no need to worry while you're here, but I do understand why you are." He rubs your head affectionately, hugging you tighter. "Like I said, take your time."

You relished in that hug and composed yourself before continuing. "He said he was fine with it, but one night I woke up and his hand was somewhere it shouldn't have been and his other hand was--- y-yeah. He was with me for a while after that since I was too scared to break up with him. Then I met someone I really liked who was so nice to me, and I realised that I didn't want to be stuck with someone like him."

Kisuke made a noise of understanding. "So that is the red mark then, it is hard to believe that someone would be so thankful for a red mark."

"Yeah, I know. But I really am, and I'm thankful for the help from him too." You smiled, running your finger delicately along the red tally mark.

"Doesn't the red tally mark hurt though? That the person who saved you from that twat doesn't feel the same?" He asked, and yeah it was painful.

"Yeah, it is really painful. But I always think to myself I would rather have this red tally mark and be friends with him than have none at all and still be with twat. Anything is better than that even if it is not reciprocated love." You shrugged your shoulders trying to come across as nonchalant when all you wanted to do was tell Kisuke that the mark was him, but you decided against it. You let out a yawn that caught Kisuke's attention.

"I should probably let you sleep then." He gets up from his spot and you huddle under the covers. Kisuke grins at the sight, fixing the blankets over you and kissing your forehead. "Today has been a rough day so if you need anything just shout, okay? Even if you think it is dumb." Despite everything that happened you slept well that night.

----Time skip 3 days----

"Y/n! Let's go! Hat n Clogs is waiting!" Ichigo yelled up to your window, pulling you from your sleep. You rush to get dressed, throwing a jumper on with leggings like before and you ran from the house.

You opened the door and outside waiting for you was Ichigo and the gang. "Well? Come on!" With that you all went back to Kisuke's shop. Over the 3 days you and Kisuke got closer, he'd constantly phone your mother to check up on you. (since he phoned your mum before and not you so he knew her number) It bugged her so much that she gave you Kisuke's number so she wouldn't be bothered anymore, which was sweet.

Everyone walked into the shop and greeted Kisuke. "Ah, Y/n!" He wrapped his arm around your shoulder playfully, a smile playing across his lips. "Everything okay?" You could see his eyes from the angle so you knew what he meant and you smiled back at him.

"Yeah, I'm okay." He let go of you and began talking to the others about Gigai upgrades. As you tidied around the shop you heard the bell chime indicating someone had come in, you looked up and that someone was twat. Your eyes went wide as you dropped the broom you were holding, alerting the others.

Kisuke's carefree smile and attitude completely dropped when he saw who was there. He grabbed your shoulders, pushing you towards your friends, they noticed something was up there and they stood in front of you. "Get out." He shakes his head, walking around the store as he was being stared at by everyone. "I said get out."

Twat laughed, "I'm a customer here, you can't tell me to get out, I want to buy something." Kisuke got closer to Twat, who was starting to clearly become intimidated by your friends.

"I have the right to refuse people. Customers are typically human, and sadly you don't qualify for one of those, so get the fuck out of my shop." With each sentence Kisuke got closer to him until eventually he got so intimidated and fled. Kisuke locked the shop door and ran over to you, avoiding the strange looks from the others.

"Are you okay?" You appear to be in a state of shock, you feel like you can barely move or speak, you just stood there, trembling. Kisuke continues to ignore the others as he wraps his arms around you, holding you close. "I am going to tell them if that is alright, just make any sound for a yes, okay?" He heard a small sound come from you so he begins to explain to your friends what happened.

-------

By the end of the explanation you came back to reality, since you weren't paying attention to anything other than Kisuke's arms around you, you were able to pull through pretty quick. Your friends all looked really mad at him for everything he did and thanked Kisuke profusely for helping you out through this. After a while, the others finally leave, giving you a hug and giving you a word of advice, they even offered to teach you how to fight which you decided to take up.

You sat with Kisuke in his room as you usually do after something like that happens. You were talking about nothing in particular when Kisuke stopped you. "Um- Y/n, that person- they return your feelings." You laughed

"No they don't, the proof is in the pu---" You lift your sleeve to show the proof when you noticed that he was right. The telly mark was Black now. You stare at the mark in utter shock. "I- What?" Your eyebrows furrowed together. "That is impossible, why would he like me?" Kisuke smiles at you, messing up your hair like he normally does.

"Probably because you're a fantastic p-" He stops dead in his tracks when he stops a completely new mark on his arm, the arm that was totally clean, in all of his years of living he has never fallen in love. You look up and wonder why he went quiet when you notice him staring at his arm, he must have realised who that tally mark is for. "That-" He gestures towards your mark. "That is for me, isn't it?"

You flush, you never thought you'd end up in a situation like this one. "Y-yeah it is." You bite your lip in worry, you knew he liked you as well, I mean you could literally see it, but that doesn't mean that he would want to be with you. Kisuke smiled softly at you as he ran his fingers through your hair.

"I always thought you were pretty, and I knew that I would absolutely fall for you, I could feel it. So I'm honestly glad it is returned. But um- We don't have to be in a relationship yet if you don't think you're ready for one." Kisuke was the sweetest and that is why, without a doubt in your mind, you knew that you were ready.

"I am ready, I've wanted to be with you for a long time now, I love you Kisuke." You blushed heavily. You think those words often enough but you didn't think you'd ever say them out loud to him.

"Since we have that sorted- can I kiss you?" Kisuke asked, his thumb running across your jaw, your skin tingling from his touch.

"Yeah, you can." His thumb moved, holding on lightly to your chin to pull you close. You were a hair's width away from kissing but he stayed there for a few moments with a look in his eyes that said 'You can still back off if you want to' but you didn't. He took your stillness as an invitation to continue and planted a soft kiss to your lips, his hands moved to cup your cheeks while your own remove his hat so they could rest in his hair. After a few moments of his soft kiss Kisuke pulled back, only to kiss you one more time.

"I love you too, Y/n. I'll make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you again."

[starilicious]

ishq wala love (echo x gn!reader)

》 summary: reader comforts an insecure echo after the end of tbb episode 4 "cornered" about having mechanical parts as part of his body.

》 word count: ~2.2k

click here to read on AO3

》 warnings: slight sensory overload, mild panic attack (i think it could be classified as relatively vague in regards to the description), insecure echo about his body, a teensy bit of in universe swearing, lots of flufffff and a dash of angst here and there, no use of y/n [if i should add more warnings, please let me know!]

》 spoilers: extremely mild ones from tbb episode 4 "cornered"

》 a/n: hello! this is my first tbb fic, so i really hope i do the show, the characters, and the fandom justice hehe ^_^ over the past few days, i've become obsessed with tbb fics, particularly the echo x reader ones bc my GOODNESS this man is such a soft bean who deserves all the love in the galaxy. as a result, please enjoy this sleep-deprived frenzy of a fic that i wrote at 1 am and let me know your thoughts! :)

》 misc. notes:

• title of the fic is from the hindi song "ishq wala love" from the film student of the year. i've linked the song (in blue) with some pretty good english translations in case you would like to take a listen, but it isn't necessary for the fic–i just thought it fit well!

• i kind of got way too invested in building up the environment at the beginning, so apologies if it seems like a slow start! i just had to indulge in having the other characters there too <3

• please ignore the inaccuracies of the havoc marauder. i don't really know what the ship looks like, especially the living quarters, so i unintentionally ended up using the ghost from swr to guide my writing for that part.

• what the reader says at the end about the word in love in her native language is true. the language i'm referring to here is hindi, and we have several different words for love. in my very humble opinion, i think it’s one of the many characteristics of the language that makes hindi so sweet-sounding and poetic :)

• THANK YOU FOR 100 NOTES OMG AHHH YOU ALL ARE TRULY AMAZING 😭<333 (7/1/2021)

After Tech piloted the Bad Batch away from Pantora and safely entered hyperspace, you all decided to turn in to get some rest–or at least attempt to. With the bounty hunter scare, you and the boys figured it would be best to discuss what to do tomorrow morning, for Omega’s sake.

You tucked Omega in with her doll and offered her a comforting smile. “Don’t worry ‘Meg,” you said softly, running a gentle hand through her cropped blonde hair. “You’ll be safe, I promise. You’re stuck with us for life.”

Omega smiled sleepily at your teasing and held her arms out for a hug, one which you gladly indulge. “Sweet dreams, love,” you murmur as you let go. You shut off the lamp in her makeshift room and closed the curtains as you climbed down the ladder.

You turned around to find Hunter looking at you from his seat in front of the blinking controls. You raised an eyebrow as you plopped down in front of him unceremoniously, the exhaustion of the action-packed day catching up to you.

"You're good with her," he murmured as you both glanced at the light beige divider and you shrugged in response.

"Just looking out for her. Besides, you're not so bad yourself. She mimics your every move," you grinned. Hunter chuckled fondly as he recalled the memory where they were all stuck in the Kaminoan prison cell and Omega copied his every gesture.

The two of you lapsed in a comfortable silence as you mulled over the day's events, the hum of the ship thrumming beneath your feet.

"We'll be okay. It's tiring and difficult and none of us know how to raise a child, but we'll be okay," you said, breaking the quiet with optimism. You placed a hand on Hunter's shoulder and smiled. "Crosshair will be okay too. Have faith."

Hunter sighed but nodded in agreement as he put his hand over yours. "Goodnight," he said as he stood up, stretching his muscles.

"Sleep well."

You sat at the small table for a few more minutes to think before standing up yourself. You quickly checked in on Tech in the cockpit since he was on watch, and he immediately shooed you away, insisting you get some sleep. You had a feeling he only did so to optimize the ship in peace without distractions.

Nevertheless, you obliged and left him alone. Walking to the back of the ship, you completed your rounds. Wrecker was snoring loudly and you stifled a laugh. At least he was sleeping well–it was all you could ask for really. But frankly, you had no idea how Crosshair was ever able to sleep through it. Thinking about him and seeing his empty bunk made your heart pang in loss, but you were as determined as the rest of them to somehow bring him back. You had to.

You opened the door to Hunter and Tech’s shared room to find Hunter already sleeping soundly and you quickly left. With his enhanced senses, he was already a light sleeper, and compounded with his responsibilities as a leader, he rarely got any rest. You worried for him.

Last stop was your and Echo's room. You stepped in to find the light still on. Echo was sitting on the floor in front of your bunk, staring at the ground.

"Hey there handsome," you joked lightly in an attempt to get his attention and mask your unease. Echo usually only came near your bunk when something was wrong and after everything that happened today, it was safe to say you were concerned.

Echo didn't respond. Did he hear me? You make your way over to your lover and sit down in front of him. You place your hands on top of his.

"Echo, honey?" You said softly and finally finally he looked up at you. Your heart dropped into your stomach.

"Oh, darling," you breathed and you moved to his side to envelop him into a hug, his head resting comfortably in the crook of your neck. You didn’t say anything more–you saw the deep pain swirling in his eyes, the grief, the loss. The anger. You let Echo take the lead; you knew how difficult it was to wrangle raging thoughts and muster them into words.

You didn’t know how much time passed of you two sitting on the floor, breathing each other in before Echo spoke.

“Today… when we went on the supply run, I was dressed as a droid.”

You bit your lip, knowing exactly where this was going. But you didn’t interrupt, letting him continue. Your thumb rubbed absentmindedly on his arm as you listened.

“That vendor we were talking to wouldn't take what we had. And then he saw me,” Echo took a deep breath. You stayed quiet, holding his hand in a manner that you hoped soothed his anxieties at least a little bit.

“Hunter sold me as a droid to him. I-I know he doesn’t see me as a droid. I know that. But–” Echo’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat of the emotion building up. Echo didn’t know how to express what he wanted to say. He didn’t even want to speak it aloud–that would make it feel too real. And Echo severely doubted he could handle the heartbreak. Can I do this?

“Cyar’ika,” he murmured and you hummed in response. Echo pulled away from you, his hand still in yours. Now or never. “I need you to be completely, absolutely, 100% honest with me,” he whispered. Echo steeled his expression, doing his best to hide how terrified he truly was.

You nodded because of course you would be. When were you not?

But the way Echo gazed at you threw you off. Something was wrong, very wrong. You were almost scared of what he would say next, but you made a gesture for him to say what was on his mind. Clearly, this was important.

“Do you really want to be with me when I’m just–” Echo struggled with the last few words and you strained to pick them up with how they caught in his throat. “–a pathetic, disgusting, hybrid machine?” It’s out, I said it. I said it. Echo felt like he couldn’t breathe, the pressure on his chest too much, too much. He stared down at the floor, face flooded with shame.

You stared at him in blatant disbelief, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open from a shocked laugh. No no no Echo. You’re nothing of the sort. You didn’t move. Echo’s breath hitched as he looked back up at you, broken and open and raw.

“Don’t lie, please don’t lie to me. I know there's no way you could ever love me when I… when I look like this,” Echo whispered, but he may as well have shouted with the way the blood was rushing through your ears.

And then something in you snapped.

You removed your hands from his and placed them on his cheeks, pulling him in until your foreheads were touching. “Echo, you need to listen to me,” you instructed and heaved a breath as you tried to sort your own rushing thoughts into articulated words. But the effort was futile as your careful speech turned into a haphazard and passionate stream of consciousness.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears and your heart broke into pieces. Echo gave you all of his attention. What are you going to say? He didn’t want you to agree, but he would understand if you did. Echo felt disgusted with himself. The walls were closing in on him. Breathing was getting harder.

“You are the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t give one flying banthashit about any of your mechanical parts. If anyone ever says anything about them, they’re di’kuts and you can send them my way because I will not hesitate to punch some sense into them,” you spat with pure determination, not even noticing the Mando’a slip. After being surrounded by clones for so long, you absorbed bits and pieces of the language. You didn’t even register how Echo picked up on the word, much too focused on getting your point across. You were a person on a mission and nothing would stand in your way.

The knot in Echo’s stomach was loosening a bit, the storm in his mind beginning to break. The walls were a bit farther from him. He wasn’t drowning in his own presence anymore.

“Because you know what? You’re still my Echo. You’re a man, my dear. Not a machine. You never were, and never will be. These parts?” you gestured to his scomp link, his legs, the cybernetic implant in his head. “They mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. Don’t focus on them.”

You smiled sadly as you rubbed your thumbs gently on his cheeks. “I fell in love with you, Echo, not your body. I love the way you make me laugh, the way you comfort me, the way you cry with me. As much as I kriffing hate that you have been through so much pain because of those damned Separatists, I’m grateful for the fact that I’m in love with a man who would do anything for his family, for his brothers.”

A tear slipped down your cheek as you remembered Fives coming back home from the Citadel but no Echo in sight. You would never admit it to anyone, but you swore a piece of you had died that day.

Echo felt like he was going to cry. The pressure that had been building up in his chest was releasing. He could breathe again, slowly, slowly. His only focus was you, was your words. The artificial lights didn’t seem to be as glaring now. They were softer, calmer.

“Echo, my love, even through it all, you not only survived, but you came out on top, victorious,” you paused, briefly overcome with how much love and gratitude you had for this wonderful man. “You came back to me, Echo, and you’re as handsome as ever. I have never stopped loving you, and never will. Don’t you ever forget that darling.”

Echo drew in a shaky breath. The harsh cold of the floor grates was biting into his skin, but he didn’t care. It grounded him as much as your warm touch on his face. He could breathe again. My cyar’ika.

Your fiery and passionate emotional speech came to an end as you stared into your lover’s eyes. There was so much more you could say, but you feared words would not be able to convey it all. You hoped your eyes would be enough to soothe his pained and tired soul.

Silent tears trailed down Echo’s face and you gently brushed them away as you pulled him into a tight hug. It was all you could do to not cry yourself. Echo was always so strong–you admired him for it.

“Thank you,” he whispered, voice thick with appreciation and love. You didn’t say anything. There was no need to. The charged air between you both was enough. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence on the floor of the Havoc Marauder, deep in your own thoughts.

“Ishq wala love,” you muttered fondly after some time, still caught up in your own mind.

“Hm?” Echo questioned, curious as to what you said. The soft sound gently pulled you out of the clouds and back to the man in your arms as you attempted to explain.

“There’s a phrase in my native language, ishq wala love. You see, in Basic, there’s just one word for love, which is love. But back home, we have several different words for love, each with their own subtle, but distinct meaning,” you blew out a breath as you tried to figure out what to say. Echo was hanging on to your every word.

“There’s… there isn’t really a direct translation, but the best I can come up with is that the love that we have, ishq, is much deeper than just romantic love. It’s deep and strong and pure and unyielding. It–it reminded me of us,” you admitted, a bit sheepish. Your fingers dance along Echo’s scomp link, nervous.

Echo took a moment to process your explanation before smiling. You felt your heart stitch itself back together again after seeing that beautiful smile. You would do anything to keep it on his lovely face.

“Ishq wala love,” he echoed, his pronunciation a bit off. You giggled in response. “Close enough,” you teased and Echo simply beamed. You leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on his soft lips, rubbing his metal arm gently.

Echo stood up then, offering a hand to you to help you up. You took it and he led you over to the bunk you shared together. You both quickly climbed in, relaxing in the warmth of the well worn blankets and the other’s presence.

Your head was near his chest and you could hear the soothing dull sound of his steady heartbeat. Your arm curled over his waist protectively and your head rested comfortably on his flesh arm. Echo shut off the light and you were ensconced in black velvety darkness.

“Goodnight, cyar’ika.”

“Sweet dreams, Echo. I’ll be here, waiting for you.”

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

[atlasshrugd]

Hi seeing as you seem to be the only sorta active britin blog I can find lol I wanted to ask you about some of your favourite moments for them, as I'm kinda new to the fandom whatevers around lol, and would like to hear peoples thoughts on them if you don't mind answering 😊

Hey there! Sorry I am answering so late, but WOW this is a big ask because there are SO many favorite moments.

So I have narrowed it down to my Top 5:

1. Prom (obviously)

Okay this is a no-brainer. This is literally the most romantic sequence in all of television history. I still have not found something more beautiful, moving, triumphant, loving, and groundbreaking than when Brian and Justin danced to 'Save the Last Dance for Me' at prom. Obviously barring the horrific events of what followed, this scene transcended all stereotypes and barriers and allowed us as the viewers to feel pure happiness and pride as queer people. I remember seeing it for the first time at 14 and feeling so unadulteratedly happy and validated. This was a scene of two gay people unapologetically showing the world that they did not give a shit what anyone thought of them. The only thing that mattered was this thing between them; this unspoken understanding, solace, love, and pride. I still moves me to this day whenever I watch it, no matter how many times I do.

And of course we must talk about the implications of Brian's character in this scene. Throughout season 1, he has been an emotionally stunted and cold individual who does not believe in love, relationships, or trying to make other people happy. Here, in the finale, we see Brian finally putting away all his ego bullshit ("I wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of 18 year olds"), and going out of his way to make someone he cares about happy. The fact that he even showed up at Justin's prom is a direct U-turn from the moral principles he has been reinforcing all season. And by dancing to a "ridiculously romantic" corny song, waltzing, and kissing Justin in front of everyone without giving a shit — that is pride. That is one of Brian's long-accustomed walls tumbling down.

"And don't forget whose taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be..."

2. When they make love for the first time after the bashing

Now these scenes...how do I describe the sheer profundity? After Justin's bashing at prom, Brian is left in shambles. He blames himself for everything, and it is just further proof that Brian's love always causes further destruction. Justin has lost all memory of that night at prom, and this is one of the big tragedies. Justin had promised that he'd never forget it, and that it was the best night of his life. That proof of Brian's love that he had for so long been longing to experience — has disappeared as if it never happened. Now, Justin's confidence and surety of the world has been distorted. He is no longer sure of anything, including himself and Brian. He needs reassurance and things spelled out for him.

When Brian and Justin sleep together for the first time after the bashing, it is not like all the other times they had sex. This, in fact, is the first time they make love. Justin is telling Brian that he trusts him wholeheartedly, enough to allow him in his body again after his own agency had been ripped away from him. This is where Justin absolves Brian of his guilt. He takes the blood-stained scarf off his shoulders, lets it fall to the ground. He gives Brian the forgiveness that Brian cannot offer himself.

"Like the first time?" Brian asks, because it is the anniversary of their first meeting, but at the same time—it is nothing like the first time. Now, they are not strangers. They are more acquainted with each other than they have ever sought to be; know each other in such profound depths. They are forever linked by this thing they have both experienced, but it is not just that shared trauma. It is based off deep understanding and love. They have, somehow along the way, become more each other than themselves. They know that they have become irreplaceable and inseparable parts of each other. And Brian has been holding onto that guilt for so long that it has become rooted deeply within him. SO when Justin absolves him of it, Brian allows himself to truly feel for the first time since the bashing. He gives himself to Justin, in that moment, as Justin gives himself to Brian. It is a brilliant and tender scene of trust, devotion, acceptance, and absolution. Something they both needed to soothe their troubled souls, and a new basis for their relationship.

3. When Brian helps Justin walk down the street after the bashing

Again, this is Brian showing nurturing, care, patience, compassion, and selflessness to another person. Justin trusts him enough to rely on him, and Brian doesn't take this trust lightly. These are some of the sweetest scenes of the whole show, because this is when Brian is completely focused and devoted to Justin. He wants to help him, more than anything, to get better. And he accepts and takes up this role of carer, not because he has to, or because he is obligated or forced to. But because he will do anything to ensure that Justin will be okay, and that he gets the life he deserves.

Specifically, my favorite scene is when the song 'Grand pianos crash together, when my boy walks down the street...' is playing. Justin is walking through a crowd and Brian has his arms outstretched. When they come together, they hug deeply and easily. This scene is so simple and pure, so chaste, but it shows the true essence of their relationship, beyond all the facades and bells and whistles. At the heart of it, Brian and Justin care about each other more than they care about themselves. They have established a stable foundation of trust that they can rely on. And it also perfectly encapsulates just how far Brian has come once again. He is showing such selfless care and devotion to a boy in public daylight, kissing and hugging him and not wanting to let go of his hand. Season 1 Brian would have never even considered that. This just shows how much the events of the prom changed him, and shows how his desire for responsibility of another person has matured him. He had been forced to face his inner feelings, fears, and truths. Now, they are out in the open for the first time and Brian accepts this. This alone is a huge development.

Brian is also afraid to let go of Justin. When Justin says he can walk back himself and says 'Later,' Brian repeats it apprehensively as he holds Justin's hand until he can't anymore. Then, he watches Justin go, walking through the crowds. The look on his face is wistful, a little troubled. He hasn't wanted to face just how much he enjoys Justin's presence and how much happier and content he is when Justin is with him. He hasn't wanted to face just how afraid he is to lose Justin again. Their words of 'Later' are a direct mirror of their last words on prom night, just before Justin got bashed. Brian had watched Justin walk away, too. And a second later, he was gone.

4. Pride

This is probably one of my all-time favorite scenes in television ever. I have cried each time I've seen it. There is something so pure, essential, liberating, triumphant and tender about this scene, and the song that plays (Chiquitita by ABBA) certainly shows it. Firstly, Justin accepts Brian in his entirety and doesn't expect him to change. He knows how much Brian has been devoting to Justin in his recovery, and how strange that role is for Brian. Here, he tells Brian to 'go find a stud, ask him to dance,' — because he knows how much Brian has been sacrificing for him. This alone shows Justin's maturity and inner strength. He loves Brian, so he will not try to change him or shackle him. He wants Brian to be free to choose and live the way he wants, and that is what he fell in love with.

But when Justin shows this sacrifical and detached love for him, Brian realises that there is nothing he wants to do; no one he wants to be with more — than Justin. He is aware of the myriads of choices he has. But he chooses Justin. (Technically, for the first time, perhaps aside from prom. But even at prom, he had been running from something [turning 30]. Here, he chooses Justin without pressure for the first time.)

So, he follows him outside. He ask him "Hey, stud. Wanna dance?" Justin doesn't believe him at first, because he is not used to Brian choosing him by his own volition. He cannot imaging Brian passing up getting laid, especially after being celibate for the whole day. He also feels like a burden; like Justin's recovery has been inflicted on Brian, stopping him from living his life normally. Justin loves Brian enough to let him be free, but the biggest part? Brian loves Justin enough to choose him in that freedom.

So this marks another checkpoint in their relationship. Not only is there trust, understanding, and love — there is also desire. Sure, they have always desired each other. But this desire is not the physical kind or one born out of loneliness. This is desire for the other person as a whole. This is desiring another person's company because theirs is the only company you want. This is desiring to be with someone when there are so many other options. This is real desire — the kind that originates from the heart and not the flesh.

"I promise you won't forget this one." Brian is promising Justin that this dance will be theirs, just theirs. Not to stick it to anyone, to show anyone anything, to make some kind of point, or to make somebody happy. This dance is theirs, for the reason that Brian wants Justin to have this: this moment where Brian only wants Justin, where he dances with him simply because he wants to. And he wants Justin to have this memory, to overcome all the vague blurriness of their past. He wants this dance to be the one he remembers when he questions himself. And so they dance, and they sway, and they kiss, and they press their heads together, and the lights are bright and colored on Liberty Avenue, and everywhere people are free and joyful, and there is nothing to prove, no one to run from, nothing to hide. Their arms are wrapped around each other and the sound of 'You'll be dancing once again...and the pain will end...you will have no time for grieving...' tumbles through the air and all around them. 'But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.' Now: there is nothing to be afraid of, and everyday life is full of reasons to be alive. To be proud.

5. Their reunification

This is one of their main checkpoints. This scene is the moment they finally become equals. Justin had left Brian for the reason that Brian could not give him what he needed to be happy, which was: reassurance. After the bashing, Justin lost all sense of who he was. There was a huge gap in his memory, therefore a huge part of himself he could not claim. He had lost partial use of his dominant hand which took away the only thing that gave him solace; his drawing ability. He was no longer sure of anything and needed things spelled out for him. He needed to talk about it. 

But Brian was not willing to do that, because he himself was struggling with trauma from the incident that he did not want to face. Where his love language is in acts of service (letting Justin live with him, paying for his tuition, helping him recover) — Justin needed to hear the words. He needed verbal affirmation to prove that he wasn't crazy and just projecting his feelings onto Brian. He could no longer trust his own perception and interpretation of things whereas in the past he could read Brian's mixed signals easily without needing confirmation. This is the part Brian failed to understand. He was not willing to concede his identified notions of 'relationships' and 'love' — no matter how far he came. He had not accepted that his feelings for Justin were love, and that scared him. So he refused to compromise with Justin, believing that his actions were enough when they weren't. But all Justin needed was to be heard, and for someone to love him enough to give hime what he needed sometimes (which was, verbal and emotional affirmation).

So their relationship ended, and Justin thought he could get what he needed from Ethan, which proved to be another big lie. So at the end, Justin still cannot trust his own perception, but — he finally knows what he wants.

He comes to the realization that while Brian could not give him the words, he gave him honesty. He learned from Ethan that words without action had no meaning. So he prioritized what mattered more to him: hearing that Brian loved him? Or, knowing that Brian loved him. So he chose honesty.

And this is when they could get back together without that imbalance and insecurity.

"And you are never to play violin music in my presence again." This single line is the only thing Brian needed to say to indicate to Justin that he was hurt by Justin leaving. Brian has been putting up a front of indifference for their entire break up, only indulging in pain management in private. Justin leaving him irrefutably hurt him more than he could have ever anticipated. But he did not show it.

So, Justin smiles — a little nod of awareness — because that is all Brian needed to say. And he says, "I promise."

"And it's time...that we...grow old and so some shit..." plays in the background (Lover's Spit) as they start to undress each other, because they are now on the same playing field. They have no illusions, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations anymore. They are starting anew; a little older and a little wiser than before. Brian knows how painful it is to lose Justin. Justin knows how skewed his perception had been, because he had been so caught up in his isolation that he could not see the truth of Brian's actions.

But they both know at least one thing: that life is better together than apart.

Tbh I could go ON and write a dissertation about each of these individual scenes, but I hope this made sense and gave a little more insight on these scenes and characters. Thank you for the great question!

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.