#especially not for my friend’s one because… i dont identify with that

[doodlinge]

gender apathetic flag i made because i like it when my flags are Pretty (tm)

plusss purple is a pretty gender neutral color. boys like purple girls like purple we all like purple

i thought it was kinda cool for it to go from Basically Pink to Almost A Rich Shade of Blue because i think its like. yeah people can present themselves as a gender and still not care. Thats the fun of being apathetic to it!!

i’m someone who calls themself a girl, who wears dresses and has pink pajamas and painted nails on, who has long hair and a PINK SUITCASE but u know. if i woke up tomorrow in the body of a boy i wouldnt really care. i dont care if someone sees me as a different gender, even if they probably wont, because!! thats how i feel!

honestly this is just kinda for fun because i wanted to make a flag with more pretty colors and meaning, that i can relate to personally. my friend whos greygender also requested i make a flag for greygender with “a prettier color combo” so.. heres my take on it! they LOVED it :D

[bucephaly]

Amazing take on the dash tonight. 'I think most people actually don't want or value or need romantic affection or attachment and that most people are aro' uhhhhhhhhhhhh????

Also like. I'm p sure what constitutes the difference between romantic and platonic and sexual affection and attraction is purely cultural and different to everyone. I wish people would stop focusing so hard on the idea that these labels are like actual objectively true things about people. Like, would some people probably be happier without feeling forced to pursue relationships by society? Sure. But saying that most people are Actually Aromantic and that 'very few' people actually want or value romantic attachment ???? I'm honestly kinda tired of these like 'most people are Actually bi lol' 'most people are at least a Little ace!!' Etc etc type takes. 'No one is Actually cis' like can you shut upppppp these words are just WORDS for extremely abstract cultural concepts that mean different things to everyone yall do not need to take them this seriously. And im just so tired of people being like 'man knowing about this identity helped me, im sure Everyone feels like this and Everyone actually secretly hates this common thing' like uhhhh no. They don't. Lol.

[aphrodicci]

𝔧𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔬𝔯𝔶

follow for more content! plus i said to my friend that if i reach 9,500+ i'll do a sexual observation post, we're almost there :) like we have 96 followers left till we reach it.

paid chart readings here :) composite and synastry readings are allowed.

plus this post was because i reached 9,000+? right, i forgot it's been some time since i've been here, but im back lmao.

masterlist

INTRODUCTION ⬎

♇ i believe this post and theory needs an introduction, you have to read this very carefully because my time here has proven to me that a lot of people here lack media literacy, so i am here to say that this post was inspired by Alyssa Sharpe and i dove into the matter with my own research and i'm here to say that 99.5% of my own specific research for this topic was correct.

♇ if you have watched one of alyssa sharpe's videos, especially the future spouse videos on her tiktok, she said moon, juno or groom can convey and inform someone about their future spouse, but they're not strong enough, thus, the only thing that can talk about the wife and the husband is jupiter.

♇ there's many arguments that jupiter is only about the husband and the wife is venus, or that jupiter is not the sole indicator for the husband or future spouse, and i respect their perspectives, but this one specifically is my own, which is influenced by alyssa sharpe.

♇ i have gone through mostly 30+ couples, specifically celebrity couples and i have been able to identify that jupiter had almost correlated with all of their future spouse's big 6; and if their jupiter sign did not correlate within the signs in their spouse's big six, then it had meant that it likely connected with their ascendant, sun, moon or jupiter, specifically with conjunct aspects.

♇ plus, they dont need to be currently married, they can be divorced.

♇ example, person A has jupiter in leo which means person B would have leo in one of their big six.

♇ if person B does not have leo in one of their big six it would mean they would likely have the sun in their first house or one of their dominant planets.

♇ however person B could also have the sun aspecting the core planets or jupiter because it is the spouse planet :).

PHASE ONE

↳ COUPLE ONE ⟶ CHRISSY TEIGEN AND JOHN LEGEND.

chrissy teigen has jupiter in aquarius and john is a saturanian sun.

john legend has jupiter in leo and chrissy has sun in the first house.

↳ COUPLE TWO ⟶ DAVID BECKHAM AND VICTORIA BECKHAM.

david beckham has jupiter in aries and victoria is an aries sun and mercury.

victoria beckham has jupiter in pisces and david is a pisces mars.

↳ COUPLE THREE ⟶ JAY-Z AND BEYONCE.

jay-z has jupiter in libra and beyonce is a libra ascendant, libra venus, libra dominant and venus dominant.

beyonce has jupiter in libra and jay is a libra moon and libra dom.

↳ COUPLE FOUR ⟶ BRENDA SONG AND MACAULAY CULKIN [ABOUT TO GET MARRIED].

brenda has jupiter in taurus and macaulay is a venusian mars.

macaulay has jupiter in virgo and brenda has mercury conjunct the ascendant.

↳ COUPLE FIVE ⟶ KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN-BARKER AND TRAVIS BARKER.

kourtney has jupiter in cancer and travis is a cancer and moon dominant. he has the ascendant in cancer and in his mars.

travis has jupiter in aries and kourtney is an aries sun, mercury and is aries dominant.

PHASE TWO

↳ COUPLE SIX ⟶ KADE MIDDLETON AND PRINCE WILLIAM.

kate middleton has jupiter in scorpio and prince william is a scorpio dom.

prince william has jupiter in scorpio and kate has jupiter in scorpio and has her sun square pluto.

↳ COUPLE SEVEN ⟶ JUSTIN BIEBER AND HAILEY BIEBER.

justin has jupiter in scorpio and hailey has sun conjunct pluto.

hailey has jupiter in capricorn and justin has the sun conjunct saturn.

↳ COUPLE EIGHT ⟶ NICOLA BECKHAM-PELTZ AND BROOKLYN BECKHAM.

nicola has jupiter in sagittarius and brookly is jupiter dom.

brooklyn has jupiter in aries and nicolae has an aries moon and has her sun aspecting mars.

↳ COUPLE NINE ⟶ WHITNEY HOUSTON AND BOBBY BROWN.

whitney has jupiter in aries and bobby is an aries venus.

bobby has jupiter in libra and whitney is a libra mars.

↳ COUPLE TEN ⟶ RYAN REYNOLDS AND BLAKE LIVELY.

ryan has jupiter in taurus and blake is a jupiter in taurus and has her sun conjunct venus.

blake is a jupiter in taurus and ryan is a jupiter in taurus and has a libra mercury.

PHASE THREE

↳ COUPLE ELEVEN ⟶ GEORGE CLOONEY AND AMAL CLOONEY.

george has jupiter in aquarius and amal is an aquarius sun, venus and aquarius dom.

amal has jupiter in gemini and george has his sun conjunct mercury.

↳ COUPLE TWELVE ⟶ GWEN STEFANI AND BLAKE SHELTON

gwen has jupiter in libra and blake has his sun conjunct venus.

blake has jupiter in taurus and gwen is a libra dom and has sun in libra.

↳ COUPLE THIRTEEN ⟶ ARIANA GRANDE AND DALON GOMEZ

ariana has jupiter in libra and dalton is a libra mars.

dalton has jupiter in sagittarius and ariana has moon conjunct jupiter.

↳ COUPLE FOURTEEN ⟶ KIM KARDASHIAN AND KANYE WEST.

kim has jupiter in virgo and kanye is a gemini dom and sun.

kanye has jupiter in gemini and kim is a virgo venus.

↳ COUPLE FIFTEEN ⟶ LISA MARIE PRESLEY AND MICHAEL JACKSON.

michael has jupiter in libra and lisa has her venus trine jupiter. [jupiter the planet of the future spouse].

lisa has jupiter in virgo and michael is a virgo sun and virgo dom.

PHASE FOUR

↳ COUPLE SIXTEEN NENE ⟶ AND GREGG LEAKES.

nene has jupiter in virgo and gregg has sun conjunct mercury

gregg has jupiter in cancer and nene is a moon dominant.

↳ COUPLE SEVENTEEN ⟶ LAUREN LONDON AND NIPSEY HUSSLE.

laruen has jupiter in capricorn and nipsey has his sun square saturn.

nipsey has jupiter in aquarius and lauren is an aquarius dominant and has mars in aquarius.

↳ COUPLE EIGHTEEN ⟶ MY PARENTS [HAHA].

my mother has jupiter in scorpio and my father has jupiter conjunct pluto.

my father has jupiter in libra and my other has a taurus moon and has venus conjunct jupiter.

↳ COUPLE NINETEEN ⟶ RU PAUL AND GEORGE LEBAR.

ru paul has jupiter in capricorn and george has venus and his jupiter in capricorn.

george has jupiter in capricorn and ru paul also has his venus and jupiter in capricorn, and is also a capricorn dominant.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY ⟶ TOM HANKS AND RITA WILSON.

tom has jupiter in virgo and rita is a virgo dominant, has venus and jupiter in virgo.

rita has jupiter in virgo and tom has his ascendant in virgo and is also virgo and mercury dom.

PHASE FIVE

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-ONE ⟶ GOLDIE HAWN AND KURT RUSSEL

goldie has jupiter in libra and kurt has venus sextile ascendant.

kurt has jupiter in pisces and goldie is a jupiter dom.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-TWO ⟶ MERYL STEEP AND DON GUMMER.

meryl has jupiter in aquarius and don has his sun opposition uranus.

don has jupiter in scorpio and meryl has moon square pluto.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-THREE ⟶ MILLIE BOBBY BROWN AND JAKE BONGIOVI [ARE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED].

millie has jupiter in virgo and jake is a gemini stellium, has gemini in mars, venus and mercury and is a mercury dominant.

jake has jupiter in cancer and millie has sun conjunct moon.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-FOUR ⟶ TANA MONGEAU AND JAKE PAUL

tana has jupiter in pisces and jake has sun conjunct neptune and sun conjunct jupiter.

jake has jupiter in capricorn and tana has sun sextile her saturn.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-FIVE ⟶ CINDY CRAWFORD AND RANDE GERBER.

cindy has jupiter in gemini and rande has almost all his big six placements in the 6°.

range has jupiter in pisces and cindy is a pisces stellium, sun, mercury, moon and mars an is clearly a pisces dominant.

PHASE SIX

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-SIX ⟶ PRINCE PHILLIP AND QUEEN ELIZABETH.

prince phillip had jupiter in virgo and queen elizabeth had her moon trine mercury.

queen elizabeth had jupiter in auqarius and prince phillip had sun square saturn.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-SEVEN ⟶ PRINCESS DIANA AND KING CHARLES.

princess diana had jupiter in aquarius and king charles has jupiter opposition uranus.

king charles has jupiter in sagittarius and princess diana was a sagittarius ascendant.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-EIGHT ⟶ QUEEN VICTORIA AND PRINCE ALBERT.

queen victoria had jupiter in aquarius and prince albert also has jupiter in aquarius.

prince albert had jupiter in aquarius and queen victoria had jupiter in aquarius.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-NINE ⟶ JOE JONAS AND SOPHIE TURNER.

joe jonas has jupiter in cancer and sophie has her moon conjunct the ascendant.

sophie turner has jupiter in capricorn and joe has capricorn and saturn dominance.

↳ COUPLE THIRTY ⟶ PRIYANKA CHOPRA AND JOE JONAS.

priyanka has jupiter in scorpio and nick has his moon opposition pluto, and his sun and jupier sextile pluto.

nick has jupiter in virgo and priyanka has venus, her ascendant and her moon in gemini and is mercury dominant.

↳ COUPLE THIRTY-ONE ⟶ KRIS JENNER AND ROBER KARDASHIAN.

kris jenner has jupiter in leo and robert had jupiter in leo.

robert kardashian had jupiter in leo and kris has her sun aspecting the ascendant and has leo jupiter.

masterlist

pluto

♇

[genderqueerdykes]

at one point recently, me and some friends were talking about this one satire account that was pretending to be a woman hating on men in similar ways to how men hate on women. and i mentioned that i couldnt tell it was satire because ive had women treat me that way before and one of my friends got like. angry at me? and said something along the lines of "this is something that barely any women actually do and men do WAY more so its not the same". it just felt really really hurtful, especially coming from a long-time very close friend. it felt like the abuse i went through from women id dated treating me like complete shit because im a man was just being completely discredited and treated as "not that bad" because it came from women and im a man. im a gay trans man and not attracted to women, but in the past ive been pressured into iding as bi and dating women to "make up for" being a man and the women who did that treated me horribly. it feels like even the people who claim to care about me dont see any of what ive gone through as real or actually bad because "men dont experience discrimination or hate for being men". like i had lots of queer people (including other trans people) try to force me to detransition because they believed being a man was inherently evil and wrong, including telling me that either i could identify as a man and "associate myself with oppressors" or stop identifying as one and "embrace my femininity". i still keep going back and forth between whether or not im nonbinary or not and whether im bi or not because of it, but i feel like even my closest friends (even certain ones who are also men) think what i went through was deserved or not actually bad.

that really fucking sucks, holy shit. why the hell would anyone say that to anyone else. people need to wake up and realize that people who don't like being hated on are suddenly siding with some kind of oppressor. what does that do for anyone. how does that help anyone. how does that help you. why do you need to be lectured. why do you need to be made feel scared while you're already vulnerable. you deserve better than that

[luniise-kel]

thinking about how cool and awesome moon stone cassandra couldve been if she wasnt given the world’s worst villain motivation

dropping my whole au / rewrote of season 3 below

uh preface is im sleepy and its almost midnight, so like sorry if some parts dont make sense or whatever

uhh basically, instead of cass trying to like reach her destiny or whatever as like her Main motivation and the only reason to why she Evil and Malicious ive changed it so its more mixed in with her desire to protect rapunzel. i think moonstone cass is cool and i like the idea of her but i really just think her execution was poor mostly because it wasn’t built up as much as it shouldve been.

rewrote cass’s character slightly just so there more empathize on her idolization of her mother, and so when she learns the truth of why mother gothel left her, the knee jerk reaction to blame raps makes a little more sense.

Anyways, Season 3 cass deals with a lot of her issues, i think on the journey to get the moonstone something something happens and cassandra is told that if rapunzel comes in contact with the moonstone she will Implode. Like die. Return to being the sundrop. and cass is like oh fuck, shit, balls, I need to Protect her from Dying. So out of her intense Need to protect Rapunzel she yoinks the moonstone, and (still slightly pissed at raps for stealing her mom but not really she’s just trying to figure out her emotions + rapunzel needs to get away away from this rock) she goes into Evil mode.

Her villain arc is partly fueled by her anger at her own situation, always in second place. her desire to feel love and cherished and important rather than being the 2nd option. However, it is also fueled by her need to provide safety to her friends ,, even if it’s not the smartest choice. Moonstone Cass devotes her entire identify to being the cliche villain, so no one feels bad if like the solution to destroying the moonstone is killing her. she knows that logically the Zhan Tiri is manipulating her but 1. she idgaf and 2. she needs to learn how to control the moonstone’s power so she doesnt hurt her friends.

Tbh boiled now, it’s just cass isnt obsessive with mother gothel and mother gothel leaving her to kidnap a baby because it made like no sense for her character. like instead, moonstone cass grabbles with her identify and place in the world, who she is outside of rapunzel. Also she wants to learn more about her past, yknow, who mother gothel was and is she Worth getting upset over. spoiler she figures out that no, her bio mom sucks booty

Anyways, throughout my version of season 3, cass is trying to figure out a way to destroy the moonstone. She visits Rapunzel often too and pretends to be evil just so she can check in. She angry at her mom but not so much on rapunzel, maybe a little bit but probably more to with simply trying to crave out her identify outside of rapunzel. Same general plot beats happen in s3, but shes more grief driven than anger driven i suppose.

Theres probably a lot i forgot to like, reformulate in this especially w s3 bc i havent had the time to rewatch it and collect my thoughts that well. But, uh, hope u enjoyed. might yap more about my personal gripes with the show and how i think it shouldve been written.

also to add on i suppose, at the end of the series she gets exiled from corona officially, but lowkey comes back to hang out and after like a year every1 is like yeah okay i guess.

[captainzigo]

Hi everypony!

My kofi is ko-fi.com/captainzigo if you enjoy my art, consider leaving me a tip! this is otherwise entirely a labor of love so,,,

you can also send a request with your tip! but if you choose to do so, please read the disclaimer later on in this post**

my non-art blog, where i accept asks is @snapewife-divorce-lawyer and my reblog-spam blog is @3amgaypotion also i am on bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/captainzigo.bsky.social

that's a bunch of pictures of my oc(/ponysona) Prickly Pear. she's a cowgirl

Frequent/noteworthy questions below the break

**on donations made to me:

if you send a request with a donation, there's a 99% chance i'll do it. and that remaining 1% i'll probably just ask you for a different request. if you send me a request with a donation you are not sending me a commision. you are making a donation, and i might do you a favor as a result. you do not own the resulting art. and I am under no obligation to complete it or to do it in the way that you like. you do not need to make a donation in order to make a request.

DM me about commissions

on sending me asks:

any asks you send me should be like Strongbad emails. one paragraph. no attachments. unless you are sending me refs.

in any interactions, please keep in mind that i am a stranger on the internet and act accordingly.

unless I have explicitly said otherwise, you can safely assume that I do not count you amongst my friends. it is nothing personal, it is in fact the opposite.

why am i like this?

i am autistic. i say this because representation matters, but also because i would like to ask that you please be very frank with me. i don't even really need your patience. just say what you mean and we will get along fine.

can you draw my ocs?

you most certainly can draw any of my ocs. i'd love that acually. tag me

on (re)posting my art:

do not post my art on other platforms. do not repost my art period. I don't really exist on other platforms since i deleted Twitter. So if you see my stuff on other platforms, it's not me. except for my bluesky.

transformative works are obviously allowed, at least here in USamerica where i live. but if you want my blessing, please keep them SFW, and try to keep the spirit of the original artwork

is my blog SFW?

im in my twenties. i keep my blog SFW (as i define it) as a strict rule.

i do not consider the fact that sex exists, that some people enjoy it, or some innuendo to be NSFW. i also do not consider swearing, even as tho a sailor might, to be NSFW.

are NSFW interactions ok?

in short: no. while i have no aversion to to that sort of thing, and often actually enjoy it, i keep this blog SFW. the intention behind my art is to be SFW even when it might be skirting the line. in general, and especially, specifically with mlp, i do not wish to have NSFW interactions on the internet. please respect this boundary.

on shipping:

in my opinion, all romance real or fictional should be between people who are similar in age, doing age appropriate things, not closely related, and all with mutual consent. i am not interested in witnessing or interacting with anything outside of these parameters.

on my blue hair and pronouns:

i am a trans woman. i am also bisexual. i am also poly and demi since im listing things. i am out online becasue i know how important it is to know that you aren't alone.

do i take constructive criticism?

NO 🖕👹🖕 FUCK YOU!!!!!!! GET BLOCKED IDIOT!! unless you are a marginalized person who feels i have unintentionally made you uncomfortable somehow with my art or otherwise. in that case i am sorry and you do me a great favor by calling me out. OTHERWISE FUCK YOU DUMBASS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY ART GO DRAW YOUR OWN 🖕🖕🖕🖕

“i hate bronies”…

i don't necessarily hate you if you self identify with that label. i like to make myself off-putting to keep creeps away. i talk about it more in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/captainzigo/744131513208176640/when-i-say-i-hate-bronies-in-my-header-its

brony?

i don't hold a lot of nostalgia for old brony stuff. infact it's quite the opposite. i was a child when the show came out, and more than that i am a girl. i am not a brony.

do i like g5?

i like all generations of mip including the new stuff. gen 4 is just the one i grew up with

why is my header aurora, bori and alice from the best gift ever?

well that would be because i hate them like a mother hates a child. like the sun hates the moon. like a sickly victorian child hates the slightest morsel of bread.

on flurryheart:

i often draw stuff about cozy glow x flurry heart. this is with the understanding that cozy glow spends about a decade turned to stone. nullifying the age gap.

🤓☝️ i think you mean effect, not affect

i am dyslexic. i spell stuff wrong all the time and i type weird. please don't bother correcting me. wooptydoo your brain is wired normally. sending you a medal.

on my username:

i've had the same username since i debuted on the internet. zigo is the name of an oc i made that i dont really talk much about anymore. zigo is a fine enough nickname, and at least one person calls me that irl.

[goqmir]

maybe this is a silly question but when picking a fursona can it just be like.......... whatever? like it doesn't have to be a real animal?

of course! i think a lot of people, especially non-furries talking about furries in pop-culture, have this need to fit them into little boxes-- only mammals are furries, but reptilian fursonas have to be "scalies" and birds are somehow "featheries" ive heard. and thats an understandable thing to think but that's just kind of not how ive seen any furry think at all :)

furries are just kind of any nonhuman creature! and anyone can self-identify as one even if they like dont have a fursona in mind :> for instance, i have three fursonas and none of them are actual animals!

here they are-- trinkit the yoshi, toby the fox*, and Leaf the plant chimera. trinkit was my first fursona, and i made her before i ever really identified as a furry :) i kinda just became one by default because i wanted to be a yoshi! and its fun! ive had people like? argue about whether im a furry or not with me?? which is hilarious because despite the fact that none of my fursonas are actual animals my furryness is pretty undeniable :3

toby is not based on a normal fox but is in fact a former human that was permanently put into a latexy rubber fox fursuit (which has a lot of other features but thats like. deep fursona lore). it started as a terraria character that i was playing with my friends with, and when i got the fox costume and shiny dye we joked about my character permanently being locked in the fox suit and it kind of altered my brain lol. but despite being a fox, toby is definitely stretching the traditional definition!

Leaf is a flowering plant that decided to be sentient one day. its lore is canonically that it was a flower that wanted different animal features-- bunny ears, cat's tails, big fox paws, etc-- so it learned to shapeshift itself into them! despite being based on many animals it's pretty far from the standard bunny :)

lots of furries have pokemon fursonas these days! my girlfriend is a hisuian typhlosion, and i have friends who are scolipedes, luxrays, eevees, giratinas, its really cute! lots of furries into being objects have fursonas that are plushies, pooltoys, and robots too-- trinkit has a pooltoy form too even!

sorry if i used your ask as an excuse to ramble too much ehehe but im pretty passionate about it! i think if you or anyone reading this wants to have a little nonhuman fursona that represents you i highly recommend it!! having fursonas, especially being a yoshi by default, really helped me feel better about my own body image and i love being a little creature :)

[our-queer-experience]

okay so like quick identity rant (?) from someone who calls itself a butch lesbian transexual guy but like

before i aloud myself to identify as male ( i was surrounded by "ew men", "gender traitor" and "masculinity bad" ppl) i kinda forced myself to use the label non-binary and i also used the label lesbian, and i kept using that term for a short while when also identifying as male because obviously my male identity is inherently queer. im transexual, and my attraction to women also feels inherently queer. until i started getting yelled at like around every corner which is wild because i was getting death threats at age of 12 by grown ass adults

but for me my masculine and male identity is just not as human as my peers male identity (which ties into this), i know this because i live with 4 cis guys and my best friend is a trans guy and ive talked to them about it and as someone who got bullied, dehumanized etc and also has mental illness and is non-human, male dosent mean the same to me as it does to lets say my best friend! and it all just kinda mixes weirdly and the labels just make the most sense to me, i online mainly call myself aa cis straight guy because im stealth but IRL no one ive encountered so far has given a singular fuck about this

there sometimes been questions but IRL people are so much more respectful especially since if they dont like me instead of harassing me theyll usually just walk away because IRL queer communities are so much more chill, and understanding especially in the more 18 plus scene because no one has time for this, we have jobs and better shit to do then harass eachother over words and labels that are just templates to use to express yourself better thru words, so shoutout to people using "contradictory labels" or whatever lol

thank you for sharing!

[literallyimthenerdemoji]

i dont really understand how people actually consciously voted for trump, like, 2016 i was in like second grade and we did a mock election, i was the ONLY vote for Hillary Clinton, i was SEVEN and i understood that even if neither candidates are truly "good" it's still a better idea to pick the one who's less bad, maybe it's because i live in a predominantly red area, and i do understand that most of my peers will blindly follow their parents beliefs and i do realize that most second graders dont really have knowledge about the political state of the world so that's a different story. My aunt told me about her girlfriend (now wife) when i was in third or fourth grade, this was when i was properly introduced to the existence of the LGBTQIA+ community, they share a name and are both beautiful people inside and out and im sure they're going to raise their son to be the same, but whenever anyone in my class started saying homopobic bullshit i was the only one who stood up for anyone, my sister shared this experience. when covid hit i started exploring my gender and sexuality, i had set up a playdate with my friend (at the time) of about seven years, i had confided in my sister that i had a small crush on this friend, we were in our pool and i was underwater, my sister outed me to this friend, this was when we started drifting apart. I started transitioning sometime around sixth grade, at the time i identified as non binary, i came out to this friend and she stopped talking to me all together. in seventh grade i knew i was trans, i wore a pride flag to school (like a cape) this was 2020, everyone was a bit odd, especially me, i was walking in the hallway and some kid (the one who sa'd me but that's a different story) who'd been harassing me verbally for a while and his friends grabbed it and yanked it, essentially choking me and i was on the ground, i was holding back tears for a full perios until a sweet girl in my grade told me she'd seen it and advocated for me, she went with me to the guidance counselor that day, the kid got no punishment, flags were banned from the dress code, kids still wore MAGA flags in the same way and were not at all reprimanded. I found solace in some teachers that were respectful of my name and pronouns, now, in 2025 Trump is either trying to, or has already, passed a bill that makes it so teachers essentially have to bully trans students, when i go back to school I'll have basically no one. even if I do detransition with him in office, as an afab person i will still be targeted, the example that this man is setting for boys is that they can do whatever they want to a woman and not be held accountable, in fact they can still be the fucking president, this man is literally evil and i dont know how people dont understand that.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Bsd except Francis adopted Atsushi. It was originally for Fyodor's plans and his own to find the book.

But as time went on Francis grew to care for Atsushi as his son.

The day he fled with Atsushi and disbanded the Guild was the day Francis saw what Shibusawa was doing to Atsushi.

Atsushi spent the next years growing up in a modest cottage on the outskirts of Yokohama. It was sometimes lonely but his parents were always around and Atsushi loved them dearly.

Zelda was very protective over Atsushi. He was her sweet boy, her light in the darkness. She taught him how to play piano, how to map out stars.

Her darling daughter was everything to her and so is her dear son.

Francis adored him, he taught him how to shoot and self defence. He encouraged Atsushi's love of reading and always bought him a treat whenever they went out.

Both of them were concerned about Atsushi getting a job at the Agency. Especially after hearing how he met Dazai.

Money wasn't an issue of course but both agreed Atsushi couldn't stay inside with them forever. And he really wanted to join the Agency.

Learning about the Presidents ability definitely helped. Prior to that Atsushi spent full moons in a large old barn with his father nearby.

Things went okay for a while, Atsushi was happy and visted home often. Telling his parents about his friends and his adventures.

And while, they were concerned at times they were happy for him. That was until news Atsushi had a bounty came out and it was set by the Guild.

Now Atsushi knew about the Guild. Francis had told his son everything after they left. Even the original reason for his adoption, feeling nothing but guilt and remorse.

To his suprise Atsushi just hugged him and said he was glad because now he knew for sure his dad really cared about him. He hugged him back "I do, I always will."

So news his old organisation was trying to kidnapp his son angered Francis immensely. And hell hath no fury like Zelda Fitzgerald, Francis she was going to kill Fyodor herself.

What a woman.

Atsushi was terrified and his parents reassured him no one was going to dare take him from them.

Francis decides to meet with Fukuzawa, knowing the Agency are investigating this and wanting to help any way he can.

"Apologies, but given this concerns one of our members I'd prefer if everyone was present. Is that alright with you?" Asked Fukuzawa and Francis nodded, taking a seat.

"Of course, it's good to know my son has made such good friends."

"Wait this is about your son?" Asked Dazai making Kunikida sigh loudly. "Dazai, did you not listen to me earlier?!" Dazai grinned widely "nope."

Before Kunikida strangle him, Francis snorted and both turned their attention to him. "So you're Dazai, that definitely explains a lot. And you must be Kunikida."

He went and pointed out each member, correctly identifying them from his sons descriptions. And well, he'd met Kyouka a few times because Atsushi bought her over for dinner.

She waved at him and he waved back.

"And I leave the best for last, my dear boy Atsushi." Atsushi ducked his head "daaaaddd not infront of my friends." But they both knew he didn't mean it.

"Ohhh do you're Atsushi's father" Said Dazai as Kunikida facepalmed. "That I am and proud to be" Said Fitzgerald before becoming serious. "The organisation known as the Guild was one I lead for a number of years."

He told his story, how he went in search of a guide only to find a child. One that wormed his way into his heart and how he'd fled with him.

"I dont know Fyodor's plans, but whoevers running the Guild now is definitely working with him. His organisation is the Rats in the House of Dead."

Kunikida was writing this all down. "Does anyone in your previous organisation keep in contact with you?"

"There's Alcott, Poe as well." At that Ranpo looked up, curious. "That wouldn't happen to be acclaimed author, Edgar Allan Poe would it?"

Francis nodded, suprised he figured it out. "Friend of yours?" Ranpo smirked "something like that."

The meeting soon came to a close, everyone promising to keep Atsushi safe and Francis hugged him goodbye. "He's in good hands" Said Fukuzawa when it was just them.

Francis nodded "I know, I just..." He watches Atsushi smile and laugh with his friends. "I lost one child, I can't bare to lose another."

"And you won't" Said Fukuzawa, something about that made Francis believe him. "If you find the bastard know my wife has dibs on clubbing him in the head."

Fukuzawa chuckled "I'll remember that."

Elsewhere Atsushi shows his friends a picture of him and his parents.

"... So Atsushi are you in need of another father?" Asked Dazai with a smirk. Atsushi beat Kunikida to the punch and shook his mentor fiercely.

"Dazai if you ever ask my mum to commit double suicide with you. I will burn your signed copy of the complete guide to suicide."

"Ah! Not my darling, alright alright I won't."

[gvtted-ratz]

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Mission Failed

Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish

Last Edited: 17/03/2023

TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention

@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

Word Count: 2,654

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!

At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.

The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.

With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.

Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.

It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.

The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.

And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.

With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.

Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.

“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.

“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.

“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.

“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.

“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.

Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.

With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.

“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.

“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.

“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.

The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.

While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.

“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.

“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.

“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.

“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.

“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.

“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.

“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.

“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.

“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.

“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”

“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.

“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.

“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.

“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.

“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.

“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.

Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.

[milfygerard]

You laugh but I wonder if you're an agent assigned to my niche interests 😅

I feel I might be too autistic to see the gray area here and it's making me wary of anyone I've ever interacted with

sorry for laughing im sure this is genuinely a bit paranoia inducing, its just an extremely twitter thing to happen. Tumblr isnt important enough to have CIA agents everyone here just yells at each other aimlessly we dont even have real organizations on here nevermind decentralized anarchist circles to infiltrate they all go to actually anonymous places or avoid the internet entirely. Tumblr is not a website that matters, cia has ppl on twitter bc twitter matters but no one expects for important people to be on tumblr.

idrk how helpful that is for yr paranoia but i hope it put u somewhat at ease. Also anon I cant say who you are due to your anonymity but unless you are part of a decentralized anarchist ring or secretly part of the proud boys the CIA could not care less about you, and if yr worried abt me then im probably a pretty easily doxxable online presence so if u dig around a bit you could probably find my instagram by accident 👍 I should never start a youtube channel swifties would firebomb my childhood home 👍

my more genuine advice is to remember some of the core rules of internet safety and interaction like 1. it is safer to assume that ppl on the internet are lying about themselves in one way or another. Don't assume you know someone just because you follow them on twitter or are in a big discord chat together and 2. share as little easily identifiable personal information as possible, especially if you are involved in any sort of leftist group, you have committed any sort of crime, or you are at risk of being found by an abusive figure or stalker. General life advice dont trust personalities from any website where getting attention makes you money or gives you actual social power. This can include tumblr but both bc of how followers are hidden and the sites cultural loss of importance yr less likely to end up being tricked by a secret cia agent and more likely to be tricked by a bored teen or a low level scammer or like...idk a deeply unwell classics major who demolishes friend groups between classes and uses peach. Is that a person who exists? that's probably a person who exists.

i fully had another point that I forgot while inventing the peach mutual but yeah anon uh, sometimes weird shit like this just happens and you just cant let it make you paranoid bc life is weird. Maybe its worth going back thru the acct and seeing if there were red flags that u could keep an eye out for in the future but honestly also dont worry yourself too much if you dont have like close ties to local leftist movements bc youll only ever be an incidental victim of someone lying to you rather than a target.

[habitsbf]

im not one to usually pay attention to ships much, especially in the slenderverse fandom, but this one is genuinely super gross to me and my friends. i feel the need to talk about it ↓

evlex aka evan myers x alex koval.

ive seen people edit them together with romantic audios and claim its just a headcanon about alex having an "unrequited" crush on evan. the audios and themes displayed kinda make that hard to believe sometimes.

this ship is genuinely uncomfortable to see, mainly because my friend rocket and i happen to identify with the characters involved, but theres other more important reasons too.

why is this ship bad?

evans and alexs relationship shouldnt be seen as anything other than brotherly and platonic. in the most known clips of them interacting, evan is 20/21 and alex is 16/17. evan is an adult meanwhile alex is a minor.

hes also the younger brother of one of evans close friends, so that just makes it weirder imo.

i dont even want to hear anything about the age gap not being a lot, i dont care. its still wrong. this is still an adult x minor ship. that is gross.

i see people in this fandom throw around the word "proship" a lot. if you are looking for a ship that is ACTUALLY a proship and needs to be called out, its this one. this ship is pedophilic.

[oscarfeckingwilde]

trans men who identify as lesbians, why do you do that?

genuine question. it sounds confrontational but i mean it to genuinely understand and request perspective. asked on a throwaway blog bc im not a discourse blogger. ive known many lesbian trans men and although i respect them i dont really understand the mindset. below are some thoughts and questions ive had.

for context, im a genderqueer butch who went down a transmasc path for a while, i took hrt, i had surgery, it wasnt an insignificant period. i started feeling grief and discomfort when i was regarded as a man, especially by women, as my transition progressed. i fell in love with a trans lesbian who saw me as male, on account of me describing myself as transmasc, and wanting her made me feel like a creep, and like i wasnt being seen. coming to terms with being a woman was, for me, an essential step. im now loved and understood as a woman who looks like a man and i vehemently want women to want me as a woman. i dont impose this path on others, but its my path and worth noting where im coming from here. i feel like a brother of sorts to you guys, but one that lives pretty far away now.

it means im pretty confused by people who want women who want women to want them, but as men. or men who want to be among women who want women, but for that space to be less / not at all about women. these are impressions ive had from men ive known. as someone whos had to fight myself and others to be honoured as a woman, it can upset me sometimes when i feel like its an imposition or an offence to name womanhood in a lesbian context.

i feel like if youre a man who feels like lesbianism is a part of who you are you must be a bit nonbinary. like surely its the woman part of you, that doesnt negate the man part of you at all, that wants to be in lesbian community. i think men who are also women exist and they're valid, especially as someone who does manhood often enough to know what thats like in practice.

why dont some trans guy lesbians identify as gay men? i know some who only date other lesbian trans men. so like, whats the difference between them and transfags? and obversely, if you only wanna date femme women, why arent you straight? is it because theyre gay? are you not worried they see you as a masculine woman? because they want women?

i understand that some trans men feel an allegiance to a culture they spent a long time in and contributed towards. but i dont feel that allegiance to my past transmasculinity, because it didnt fit me and felt bad. so something about lesbianism, even if its not you anymore, did fit and did feel good. because some trans men were dykes for years and then never look back.

trans men can be friends with lesbians and not be lesbians. they can enjoy dyke culture without being in it. they can date dykes without being one. so why is it important to be a lesbian as a man?

ftr i think fags can fuck dykes and butches can fancy bears and none of this negates someones identity. ive known trans lesbians who only date transfags and i dont get it but i see it makes them happy. i dont believe that 'you can identify as anything you want forever' bc gender and sexuality are things you do, and i dunno why id say youre doing smth youre not doing. so im free and nuanced and not a gender cop BUT... i dont understand why some trans men call what theyre doing lesbianism. and id like to.

[sillysymbol]

who's your favorite criminal clownery character to draw? favorite to write/think about? favorite dynamic? and can i get a fun fact or something you havent shared yet about them :]

YES YESSS SICKOS HAHA YESSS

my favs to draw are pirplexa and shirley for some reason. pirplexa because she's like a weird son to me (i'm very attached to her! shes like my favorite oc ever! i went off when i designed her!) + shirley because ever since i changed her hair style shes been a lot easier+more fun to draw. i think also carni i love drawing her w different hair styles and clothing.

my favorites to write for are pirplexa/carni/prince. that makes sense cuz theyre like. the Main protagonists+villain, but its really fun to explore their different personalities/backstories. Dude writing backstories especially for pirplexa and prince is so fun for me. also recently writing xio has been really fun n interesting to me. in general i think its fun to explore Why A Character is like That, why do they behave like that!

i got a lot of dynamics i like exploring but my favs are carni/pirplexa, carni/trill, prince/shirley, prince/xio and babs/miles. for carni dynamics its fun because she's one of the more happy/chipper characters, contrasted with pirplexa being more cold/untrusting and trill being more calm and collected. i plan for carni and trill to really dislike eachother at first, but eventually start to understand and fall for eachother <3 while with carni and pirplexa its more about pirplexa learning to trust and make friends again.

prince and shirley are siblings with extremely different world views and thought processes, they really dislike eachother. they grew up in the same enviroment yet reacted to it completely differently.

prince and xio is fun to me, ive been trying to give xio more of involved in the story+cast&crew while prince just thinks of her as his cute secretary. he sucks real bad! she doesnt like him she barely tolerates the others but he pays her to kill people so shes like whatever i can deal with this. and then she finds out he wants a consensual workplace relationship and shes like YAY HOW CAN I MANIPULATE THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

babs/miles are dating at the beginning of cc, but their relationship gets a bit complicated due to babs being a little crazy about him and miles struggling with his sense of masculinity, its really not a relationship thats meant to last for long, its a bit tragic. (also why they are in love by david byrne is in both of their playlists LOL)

a few fun facts:

i dont think ive shared here is that prince and shirleys parents were movie stars! they met on the set of a film and had multiple movies with eachother. prince and shirley both had an odd childhood under a lot of surveillance from the public, plus their parents weren't very great parents. they both react to their trauma very differently, prince being "grateful" for it, giving him media training and feeling like his parents crafted him (even when he knows his parents didn't have much faith in him and bet a lot on shirley), while shirley absolutely despises the rest of her family. of course she'll go to the annual family dinner with prince, but that doesnt mean that she won't loathe every second of it.

pirplexa is a dog person! he loves dogs! he doesn't own one because he doesnt think hes in the right headspace to have one yet, but he will pet every random dog on the street. i like to think a few years after the events of cc when he's mentally better, he does adopt a dog.

miles and shirley don't get along very well, shirleys kinda like a bully older sister, she puts him in headlocks and stuff.

if you get the color symbolism (heh) in cc i will give you a badge. idk

shirley likes to write, babs likes to sing, miles likes to draw and design.

trill originally got a degree in botany, but realized she wanted to pursue comedy/acting instead. she can still correctly identify plants!!! yay!!!

[neurodivergent-brain]

My tips on how I’ve survived these school holidays as an autistic girl with ADHD going into year 12:

Prepare for the upcoming school year

I know that I will have drops in my motivation throughout the school year so I might as well get ahead while I have motivation

Some of the things I did to prepare was look through the key points in my subject’s study design

I aimed to get the book I need to finish for English read by the end of the holidays. Sometimes I found I couldn’t read if I was putting pressure on myself to write down quotes and other notes from the book so instead I reminded myself it’s better that I just read the book and do it the easiest way possible because it’s better to just read it rather than not reading it at all because I’m too stressed about having to make notes. I did end up just underlying any thing in the books I liked with a pen when I felt like it and write any thoughts I had that might be important

I also had a look over the key terms of some of the subjects I struggle most with and made a glossary if I felt like it.

I didn’t have any homework these holidays (my school for the first time ever has decided it’s better for our mental health to get a break which is really good!) but if you do have homework get it done early

Maybe catch up with a friend from school (preferably one you will actually get work done with) and work on it together.

Identify what you struggle most with at school and if possible, GET A HEAD START AT IT TO HELP YOU. For example I struggle to read the school book so that was my focus to do first. I also struggle with biology so I did some over view of what we were gonna learn and looked at the key terms so it would be easier for me later

Work out how you are going to be organised before you start school, such as systems to help you not forget stuff

Catching up with friends

I struggle with the pressure that I believe I should be catching up a lot with people on the holidays but YOU ACTUALLY DONT

Only go out as much as you want to, this is your break which also can mean your break from people. Good friends will understand that sometimes you just can’t do a lot of social stuff

When I did catch up with friends sometimes we would organise to do mundane everyday things together. For example I needed to walk my dog so my friend came and did it with me then she needed to go shopping for some basics but she gets really anxious going to the shops so I went with her. We also caught up and I cleaned my room while she sat on my bed and did homework. Not only are you bodydoubling and getting things done but also catching up with each other

Have a going out bag ready and packed. Sometimes having to get a bag ready is just one more extra task that can put you off going out so have a bag that’s filled with any and all necessary you might need so you know you are not going to forget anything.

If you are struggling to catch up with friends and they keep messaging you asking to hang out but you just can’t, let them know! Talk to them! Send them a message and say hey listen I really do want to see you but I don’t have the social battery/ I just mentally can’t do it right now/ whatever you are feeling. Communicate let’s them know what’s going on so they understand.

Do the same thing if you have organised something and are feeling anxious to go out. One of my friends often lets me know when she is having a bad day with anxiety and I am always happy to rearrange plans so it’s less stressful for her such as instead of going out we just go to one of our houses. I’ve also done this with some of my other friends especially when we have gone to the beach and I’m having a bad body image day, they are my friends so they understand and will often let me cling onto them as a safety person or if I feel like I need to wear a rash top to hide my body they will wear one with me so I feel like I’m not standing out. Talking to them will help! They want to know so they can help and support you!

At the end of the day tho if you don’t want to catch up, then don’t! I’ve spent more time in my room doing nothing than going out because it’s my holidays and this is my version of relaxing!

Looking after yourself (hygiene, mental health, staying on top of things)

I tend to lose routines on the school holidays which can often make eating, getting ready, taking medication, and keeping my room clean difficult.

For getting ready I try to make it as easy and fun as possible!

I often struggle to go to my bathroom to brush my teeth when I’m not in a routine so instead I have a toothbrush, some toothpaste and a water bottle in my room to make it easier! A quick brush and then (yes I know it’s bad and probs gross!) I just swallow down the toothpaste with a gulp of water. Swallowing after brushing isn’t ideal but it gets the job done and hasn’t killed me!

Honestly my eating habits aren’t great as I often skip lunch but I always make sure I have some easy to grab food that will fuel my body efficiently like some yogurt or a banana.

Because I struggle with my eating and my meds don’t help, I sometimes have something like a “lady shake” as I find it easier to drink than eat and it will still help give me enough energy to get through the day. Have food that is just easy to grab and sometimes limiting your options helps as then having to choose doesn’t get in the way.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, EAT SOMETHING! EVEN IF ITS SMALL!

Make it a habit that no matter what the time is you get up, you have something to eat and TAKE YOUR MEDICATION!

I kept not taking my adhd meds as I would wake up late in the day and decide I shouldn’t take it as it will effect my sleep, BUT I was waking up later because I was going to sleep later and that’s ok! I can still just take my meds at 12 pm (midday) because they will have worn off by the time I’m going to bed at like 12 am (midnight)

As I get closer to going back to school, I do make an effort to slowly shift my sleep schedule back to normal by forcing myself to get up earlier so I go to sleep earlier. This is important so your body doesn’t freak out at the sudden shift in your sleep cycle when you go back to school.

These holidays I’ve also been putting a lot of focus on my skin care and having fun with it. Because I’m not going out a lot there isn’t much point on spending hours doing some cool graphic linear that my friends won’t get to see and instead my sister is just gonna look at me weird for wearing it so instead I’ve been putting time into looking after my skin which means having fun doing masks and using oils. I’ve also been doing the same with my hair and nails. THIS MAKES TAKING CARE OF MY HYGIENE FUN!

Also speaking of hygiene, just cause you’re not going out doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the basics, you have to put on deodorant everyday! You should also be aiming to shower everyday! If you do end up going to bed without a shower because you are just too damn tired then you got to make that effort to shower in the morning. Take care of yourself, you deserve to be and feel clean!

If you struggle to brush your hair everyday try putting it in a braid so it doesn’t get as knotted and just take it out each time you can be bothered to brush it.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!

you have medication there to help you so take it

Book that session with a psych/councillor/therapist, they will help you keep onto of your mental health by helping you if you’re struggling, stopping you from spiraling further down that rabbit hole or simply just offer that reassurance that if they are there if you start struggling again.

Remember to practice some of those calming exercises!

Remember to remind yourself that you are more than enough!

Remember to be kind to yourself! Both physically, mentally, spiritually and in every other way.

Go do something that is fun! Go reward yourself with some ice cream! Or go eat some vegetables and do a workout because you know it will feel good! If you are religious then go do something that helps you in that area (I’m not so I don’t really know what helps and ik it definitely depends on what you believe in but whatever it is go reward yourself with it!)

KEEPING YOUR SPACE CLEAN IS HELPFUL

I once had a psych tell me that my room is a physical representation of my mind. Messy room = messy mind. I can have a messy mind and still be in a good headspace but if I go into a bad headspace where I just cannot clean up, it’s harder if it’s already messy. So keeping it clean helps work as a protective factor for my mental wellbeing.

I have a habit of just dropping things on the floor and that’s how things get messy QUICKLY

So I now have a big tub where anything and everything gets dumped into because at least then it’s not on my floor so I wont step on it and break it.

BOXES!!! OMG THEY HELP SO MUCH!

I don’t bother folding my clothes (purposely don’t get clothes that wrinkle because of this) but every thing had a draw or a box. I have also further organised my tops into my fancy, dressing up, cool, ones that I would wear out and then I have the draw for the ones I would wear just around the house or when I go to work. It means that all my tops don’t get pulled out just to try and find the ones that I actually wear when out with friends.

Having a bin in your room can be good BUT DO NOT PUT ANY SORT OF FOOD SCRAPS IN THERE! I personally struggle to empty it often enough so while it’s helpful when I have paper scraps or used makeup wipes, it’s better I do just make that extra effort to get up and go to the kitchen.

While u have time through the holidays, maybe try to get a bit of room organising down. Even if it’s just organising chaos!

Have boxes or draws for certain things that don’t need to have a lot of order in them because that’s too much effort to make just throwing things in a draw as an easy option when cleaning.

Throw some stuff out that you are ready to part with, but if you’re not ready to let go of it just yet cause maybe it holds some special memories. Put it in a special box so that you can later come back and evaluate how much you have actually used it and how important is it really? If the memories and the use it currently has worth the space is taking up? If you are holding onto something because you “might” use it, what are the chances that you could find something similar again or if you could actually do without it?

But don’t just get rid of your stuff just because you are getting older and “you need to grow up” 🙄

I’m turning 18 soon and still have a bunch of my barbies because they hold some very important memories. I’m afraid of being judged for having them so they are hidden away but I’ve actually had a friend come over who was upset she had to get rid of her barbies before she was ready and we actually ended up going through and dressing them up together for fun!

Holidays can be HARD! so pls pls pls just take care of yourself and make things easier for you!

Having stuff within easy reach of your bed can help massively! It’s all just about trying to get organised and make things as least stressful as possible.

I feel like some of these aren’t just for the holidays but oh well! If you guys could pls like, comment, reblog or/and even follow! That would be amazing as it is such a good feeling knowing that people actually read and like what I write.

Also if you have any tips, put them in the comments or when you reblog!