#especially not for my friend’s one because… i dont identify with that

[doodlinge]

gender apathetic flag i made because i like it when my flags are Pretty (tm)

plusss purple is a pretty gender neutral color. boys like purple girls like purple we all like purple

i thought it was kinda cool for it to go from Basically Pink to Almost A Rich Shade of Blue because i think its like. yeah people can present themselves as a gender and still not care. Thats the fun of being apathetic to it!!

i’m someone who calls themself a girl, who wears dresses and has pink pajamas and painted nails on, who has long hair and a PINK SUITCASE but u know. if i woke up tomorrow in the body of a boy i wouldnt really care. i dont care if someone sees me as a different gender, even if they probably wont, because!! thats how i feel!

honestly this is just kinda for fun because i wanted to make a flag with more pretty colors and meaning, that i can relate to personally. my friend whos greygender also requested i make a flag for greygender with “a prettier color combo” so.. heres my take on it! they LOVED it :D

[mellomadness]

sometimes I wonder if I should take a gender studies class just so I can bitch every day about how an imaginary boyfriend is often seen as a requirement for a woman to feel safe enough to have fun at a club, or the idea that an imaginary person with a fake “claim” over me has more influence over predatory men than my own voice saying “No, I’m not interested, get lost”

[notherpuppet]

Do you think there's a right and/or wrong way to handle QPR? I know it's a tricky relationship, but it feels like most/some people kind of just slap the label onto a ship while depicting the ship as just romantic/having no difference with a romantic relationship. (this is why I was a little surprised when you said you do radioapple qpr when it reads a lot more like normal romance). Not meant as an attack or anything on anyone, just genuinely curious more than anything. Again, tricky relationship

So Imma put this link to info at the top of this post: https://taaap.org/2022/07/16/qprs-part-one/

Alright, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's exactly what it is. One small bit of perspective in a mass of many people who experience QPRs in their life and/or are on an aro/ace spectrum. I also have NO QUALIFICATIONS on gender/sexuality theory, so my opinions are shaped by what I've learned and experienced personally. While people may identify with the same term, we are all still individuals with our own experiences. Words can help describe a phenomenon, but it doesn't make everyone who identifies with the word into a monolith.

So I've stated a few times that I navigate shipping Alastor similar to my own experiences as an aroace person. (I guess I'm sharing about myself with this post, but I think that can be helpful to just spreading awareness of an "alternative lifestyle"). So I'm romance-repulsed and sex-repulsed LOL but I'm also "positive" about those things. Like I view romance and sex as lovely, fun experiences people can have, but I've never been into it personally. It's fun for me to consume media about romance/sex, but yknow, it's also fun for me to consume media about violence or isolation. Doesn't mean I want to experience or engage in any of those things lol.

Anyway, I'm a huge people person and I love to party and yknow it seems most people are really wanting to fall in love or fuck or whatever pretty much all the time, but especially at parties hahaha. Normally, I'm pretty touch-averse, but I love dancing so much and it's a blast to dance with a partner (salsa especially!! i don't care for grinding for probably obvious reasons). And to connect the two previous sentences, people (whatever gender they are) would be very kissy-touchy on the dancefloor. Which i honestly dont really give a fuck about hahaha. I don't really get anything out of kissing but I also don't mind it. I just like to dance. It's all a pretty superficial--but still genuinely fun--experience for me.

When it comes to my deeper or more intimate connections, I have had friendships that have felt SO on the line of what was viewed as a romantic relationship. They were exceptional friends and we connected on a level that was deep and true, but it wasn't romantic. Sometimes we'd slow dance, sometimes we kissed, and it rocked. But it wasn't more than that, it was all that it needed to be. I didn't want more and neither did they (except one situation and so we had to stop being friends lol whoops). From the outside, people would even refer to us as partners in a half joking way, but we really were just friends. And I love those friends!! And a huge part of what made those relationships (which at the time were described as 'situationships' because we didn't know any of these terms haha) was their convenience. We either lived in the same building, worked together, or were neighbors LOL. I'm still friends with those absolutely lovely folks, but we don't live around each other, so our QPR just appears a lot more like any ole regular friendship. But it's not like there was a feeling that we transitioned into something different than before. It twas what it twas! (Had to take a pause while I was typing to reminisce fondly for a second, okay back to hazbin hahaha)

SO, whenever someone asks or it comes up, MOST OF THE TIME I do ship alastor through an aroace lens and experience with QPRs (specifically, MINEE because they were fun and I've never felt like doing this before I met a character like Al). And my XP is: "this isn't gonna be a partnership and we ain't fucking" LMFAO. so yeah!

When it comes to using a queer term like QPR, I just hope folks are considerate in their writing, but I also am inclined to just believe them if they say that's their intention because QPRs can look very different. Again, aroace and ace folks are not a monolith. The terms help to describe a human's experience. I'm inclined to think people are writing in good faith.

And all this being said, I want to just emphasize that I really don't think it's necessary to consider any of this shit if you want to ship a fictional character. I understand wanting to be protective of a character who shares an identifier with you (I personally don't wanna see romance/sex with Al in canon). But shipping is a fun thing a fandom does that often does ignore canon. Tale as old as time. I don't think anyone needs to be beholden to canon when they're writing fanfiction or having fun. If we did, I would have like--5 artworks on this blog hahaha. These characters are like dollies, do whatever you want. It's cool if people don't like it and I think it's cool if people do. It's just not that serious. There are ships I'm not particularly into or dynamics that I am not enchanted by, but whatever. I can just scroll or close my eyes.

TLDR; shipping in fandom doesn't need to be taken seriously at ALL. It can just be fun way for someone to play with fictional characters they like. That being said, I think it's good practice to use queer terms thoughtfully.

[aphrodeiities]

𝔧𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔬𝔯𝔶

follow for more content! plus i said to my friend that if i reach 9,500+ i'll do a sexual observation post, we're almost there :) like we have 96 followers left till we reach it.

paid chart readings here :) composite and synastry readings are allowed.

plus this post was because i reached 9,000+? right, i forgot it's been some time since i've been here, but im back lmao.

masterlist

INTRODUCTION ⬎

♇ i believe this post and theory needs an introduction, you have to read this very carefully because my time here has proven to me that a lot of people here lack media literacy, so i am here to say that this post was inspired by Alyssa Sharpe and i dove into the matter with my own research and i'm here to say that 99.5% of my own specific research for this topic was correct.

♇ if you have watched one of alyssa sharpe's videos, especially the future spouse videos on her tiktok, she said moon, juno or groom can convey and inform someone about their future spouse, but they're not strong enough, thus, the only thing that can talk about the wife and the husband is jupiter.

♇ there's many arguments that jupiter is only about the husband and the wife is venus, or that jupiter is not the sole indicator for the husband or future spouse, and i respect their perspectives, but this one specifically is my own, which is influenced by alyssa sharpe.

♇ i have gone through mostly 30+ couples, specifically celebrity couples and i have been able to identify that jupiter had almost correlated with all of their future spouse's big 6; and if their jupiter sign did not correlate within the signs in their spouse's big six, then it had meant that it likely connected with their ascendant, sun, moon or jupiter, specifically with conjunct aspects.

♇ plus, they dont need to be currently married, they can be divorced.

♇ example, person A has jupiter in leo which means person B would have leo in one of their big six.

♇ if person B does not have leo in one of their big six it would mean they would likely have the sun in their first house or one of their dominant planets.

♇ however person B could also have the sun aspecting the core planets or jupiter because it is the spouse planet :).

PHASE ONE

↳ COUPLE ONE ⟶ CHRISSY TEIGEN AND JOHN LEGEND.

chrissy teigen has jupiter in aquarius and john is a saturanian sun.

john legend has jupiter in leo and chrissy has sun in the first house.

↳ COUPLE TWO ⟶ DAVID BECKHAM AND VICTORIA BECKHAM.

david beckham has jupiter in aries and victoria is an aries sun and mercury.

victoria beckham has jupiter in pisces and david is a pisces mars.

↳ COUPLE THREE ⟶ JAY-Z AND BEYONCE.

jay-z has jupiter in libra and beyonce is a libra ascendant, libra venus, libra dominant and venus dominant.

beyonce has jupiter in libra and jay is a libra moon and libra dom.

↳ COUPLE FOUR ⟶ BRENDA SONG AND MACAULAY CULKIN [ABOUT TO GET MARRIED].

brenda has jupiter in taurus and macaulay is a venusian mars.

macaulay has jupiter in virgo and brenda has mercury conjunct the ascendant.

↳ COUPLE FIVE ⟶ KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN-BARKER AND TRAVIS BARKER.

kourtney has jupiter in cancer and travis is a cancer and moon dominant. he has the ascendant in cancer and in his mars.

travis has jupiter in aries and kourtney is an aries sun, mercury and is aries dominant.

PHASE TWO

↳ COUPLE SIX ⟶ KADE MIDDLETON AND PRINCE WILLIAM.

kate middleton has jupiter in scorpio and prince william is a scorpio dom.

prince william has jupiter in scorpio and kate has jupiter in scorpio and has her sun square pluto.

↳ COUPLE SEVEN ⟶ JUSTIN BIEBER AND HAILEY BIEBER.

justin has jupiter in scorpio and hailey has sun conjunct pluto.

hailey has jupiter in capricorn and justin has the sun conjunct saturn.

↳ COUPLE EIGHT ⟶ NICOLA BECKHAM-PELTZ AND BROOKLYN BECKHAM.

nicola has jupiter in sagittarius and brookly is jupiter dom.

brooklyn has jupiter in aries and nicolae has an aries moon and has her sun aspecting mars.

↳ COUPLE NINE ⟶ WHITNEY HOUSTON AND BOBBY BROWN.

whitney has jupiter in aries and bobby is an aries venus.

bobby has jupiter in libra and whitney is a libra mars.

↳ COUPLE TEN ⟶ RYAN REYNOLDS AND BLAKE LIVELY.

ryan has jupiter in taurus and blake is a jupiter in taurus and has her sun conjunct venus.

blake is a jupiter in taurus and ryan is a jupiter in taurus and has a libra mercury.

PHASE THREE

↳ COUPLE ELEVEN ⟶ GEORGE CLOONEY AND AMAL CLOONEY.

george has jupiter in aquarius and amal is an aquarius sun, venus and aquarius dom.

amal has jupiter in gemini and george has his sun conjunct mercury.

↳ COUPLE TWELVE ⟶ GWEN STEFANI AND BLAKE SHELTON

gwen has jupiter in libra and blake has his sun conjunct venus.

blake has jupiter in taurus and gwen is a libra dom and has sun in libra.

↳ COUPLE THIRTEEN ⟶ ARIANA GRANDE AND DALON GOMEZ

ariana has jupiter in libra and dalton is a libra mars.

dalton has jupiter in sagittarius and ariana has moon conjunct jupiter.

↳ COUPLE FOURTEEN ⟶ KIM KARDASHIAN AND KANYE WEST.

kim has jupiter in virgo and kanye is a gemini dom and sun.

kanye has jupiter in gemini and kim is a virgo venus.

↳ COUPLE FIFTEEN ⟶ LISA MARIE PRESLEY AND MICHAEL JACKSON.

michael has jupiter in libra and lisa has her venus trine jupiter. [jupiter the planet of the future spouse].

lisa has jupiter in virgo and michael is a virgo sun and virgo dom.

PHASE FOUR

↳ COUPLE SIXTEEN NENE ⟶ AND GREGG LEAKES.

nene has jupiter in virgo and gregg has sun conjunct mercury

gregg has jupiter in cancer and nene is a moon dominant.

↳ COUPLE SEVENTEEN ⟶ LAUREN LONDON AND NIPSEY HUSSLE.

laruen has jupiter in capricorn and nipsey has his sun square saturn.

nipsey has jupiter in aquarius and lauren is an aquarius dominant and has mars in aquarius.

↳ COUPLE EIGHTEEN ⟶ MY PARENTS [HAHA].

my mother has jupiter in scorpio and my father has jupiter conjunct pluto.

my father has jupiter in libra and my other has a taurus moon and has venus conjunct jupiter.

↳ COUPLE NINETEEN ⟶ RU PAUL AND GEORGE LEBAR.

ru paul has jupiter in capricorn and george has venus and his jupiter in capricorn.

george has jupiter in capricorn and ru paul also has his venus and jupiter in capricorn, and is also a capricorn dominant.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY ⟶ TOM HANKS AND RITA WILSON.

tom has jupiter in virgo and rita is a virgo dominant, has venus and jupiter in virgo.

rita has jupiter in virgo and tom has his ascendant in virgo and is also virgo and mercury dom.

PHASE FIVE

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-ONE ⟶ GOLDIE HAWN AND KURT RUSSEL

goldie has jupiter in libra and kurt has venus sextile ascendant.

kurt has jupiter in pisces and goldie is a jupiter dom.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-TWO ⟶ MERYL STEEP AND DON GUMMER.

meryl has jupiter in aquarius and don has his sun opposition uranus.

don has jupiter in scorpio and meryl has moon square pluto.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-THREE ⟶ MILLIE BOBBY BROWN AND JAKE BONGIOVI [ARE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED].

millie has jupiter in virgo and jake is a gemini stellium, has gemini in mars, venus and mercury and is a mercury dominant.

jake has jupiter in cancer and millie has sun conjunct moon.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-FOUR ⟶ TANA MONGEAU AND JAKE PAUL

tana has jupiter in pisces and jake has sun conjunct neptune and sun conjunct jupiter.

jake has jupiter in capricorn and tana has sun sextile her saturn.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-FIVE ⟶ CINDY CRAWFORD AND RANDE GERBER.

cindy has jupiter in gemini and rande has almost all his big six placements in the 6°.

range has jupiter in pisces and cindy is a pisces stellium, sun, mercury, moon and mars an is clearly a pisces dominant.

PHASE SIX

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-SIX ⟶ PRINCE PHILLIP AND QUEEN ELIZABETH.

prince phillip had jupiter in virgo and queen elizabeth had her moon trine mercury.

queen elizabeth had jupiter in auqarius and prince phillip had sun square saturn.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-SEVEN ⟶ PRINCESS DIANA AND KING CHARLES.

princess diana had jupiter in aquarius and king charles has jupiter opposition uranus.

king charles has jupiter in sagittarius and princess diana was a sagittarius ascendant.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-EIGHT ⟶ QUEEN VICTORIA AND PRINCE ALBERT.

queen victoria had jupiter in aquarius and prince albert also has jupiter in aquarius.

prince albert had jupiter in aquarius and queen victoria had jupiter in aquarius.

↳ COUPLE TWENTY-NINE ⟶ JOE JONAS AND SOPHIE TURNER.

joe jonas has jupiter in cancer and sophie has her moon conjunct the ascendant.

sophie turner has jupiter in capricorn and joe has capricorn and saturn dominance.

↳ COUPLE THIRTY ⟶ PRIYANKA CHOPRA AND JOE JONAS.

priyanka has jupiter in scorpio and nick has his moon opposition pluto, and his sun and jupier sextile pluto.

nick has jupiter in virgo and priyanka has venus, her ascendant and her moon in gemini and is mercury dominant.

↳ COUPLE THIRTY-ONE ⟶ KRIS JENNER AND ROBER KARDASHIAN.

kris jenner has jupiter in leo and robert had jupiter in leo.

robert kardashian had jupiter in leo and kris has her sun aspecting the ascendant and has leo jupiter.

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pluto

♇

[luniise-kel]

thinking about how cool and awesome moon stone cassandra couldve been if she wasnt given the world’s worst villain motivation

dropping my whole au / rewrote of season 3 below

uh preface is im sleepy and its almost midnight, so like sorry if some parts dont make sense or whatever

uhh basically, instead of cass trying to like reach her destiny or whatever as like her Main motivation and the only reason to why she Evil and Malicious ive changed it so its more mixed in with her desire to protect rapunzel. i think moonstone cass is cool and i like the idea of her but i really just think her execution was poor mostly because it wasn’t built up as much as it shouldve been.

rewrote cass’s character slightly just so there more empathize on her idolization of her mother, and so when she learns the truth of why mother gothel left her, the knee jerk reaction to blame raps makes a little more sense.

Anyways, Season 3 cass deals with a lot of her issues, i think on the journey to get the moonstone something something happens and cassandra is told that if rapunzel comes in contact with the moonstone she will Implode. Like die. Return to being the sundrop. and cass is like oh fuck, shit, balls, I need to Protect her from Dying. So out of her intense Need to protect Rapunzel she yoinks the moonstone, and (still slightly pissed at raps for stealing her mom but not really she’s just trying to figure out her emotions + rapunzel needs to get away away from this rock) she goes into Evil mode.

Her villain arc is partly fueled by her anger at her own situation, always in second place. her desire to feel love and cherished and important rather than being the 2nd option. However, it is also fueled by her need to provide safety to her friends ,, even if it’s not the smartest choice. Moonstone Cass devotes her entire identify to being the cliche villain, so no one feels bad if like the solution to destroying the moonstone is killing her. she knows that logically the Zhan Tiri is manipulating her but 1. she idgaf and 2. she needs to learn how to control the moonstone’s power so she doesnt hurt her friends.

Tbh boiled now, it’s just cass isnt obsessive with mother gothel and mother gothel leaving her to kidnap a baby because it made like no sense for her character. like instead, moonstone cass grabbles with her identify and place in the world, who she is outside of rapunzel. Also she wants to learn more about her past, yknow, who mother gothel was and is she Worth getting upset over. spoiler she figures out that no, her bio mom sucks booty

Anyways, throughout my version of season 3, cass is trying to figure out a way to destroy the moonstone. She visits Rapunzel often too and pretends to be evil just so she can check in. She angry at her mom but not so much on rapunzel, maybe a little bit but probably more to with simply trying to crave out her identify outside of rapunzel. Same general plot beats happen in s3, but shes more grief driven than anger driven i suppose.

Theres probably a lot i forgot to like, reformulate in this especially w s3 bc i havent had the time to rewatch it and collect my thoughts that well. But, uh, hope u enjoyed. might yap more about my personal gripes with the show and how i think it shouldve been written.

also to add on i suppose, at the end of the series she gets exiled from corona officially, but lowkey comes back to hang out and after like a year every1 is like yeah okay i guess.

[goqmir]

maybe this is a silly question but when picking a fursona can it just be like.......... whatever? like it doesn't have to be a real animal?

of course! i think a lot of people, especially non-furries talking about furries in pop-culture, have this need to fit them into little boxes-- only mammals are furries, but reptilian fursonas have to be "scalies" and birds are somehow "featheries" ive heard. and thats an understandable thing to think but that's just kind of not how ive seen any furry think at all :)

furries are just kind of any nonhuman creature! and anyone can self-identify as one even if they like dont have a fursona in mind :> for instance, i have three fursonas and none of them are actual animals!

here they are-- trinkit the yoshi, toby the fox*, and Leaf the plant chimera. trinkit was my first fursona, and i made her before i ever really identified as a furry :) i kinda just became one by default because i wanted to be a yoshi! and its fun! ive had people like? argue about whether im a furry or not with me?? which is hilarious because despite the fact that none of my fursonas are actual animals my furryness is pretty undeniable :3

toby is not based on a normal fox but is in fact a former human that was permanently put into a latexy rubber fox fursuit (which has a lot of other features but thats like. deep fursona lore). it started as a terraria character that i was playing with my friends with, and when i got the fox costume and shiny dye we joked about my character permanently being locked in the fox suit and it kind of altered my brain lol. but despite being a fox, toby is definitely stretching the traditional definition!

Leaf is a flowering plant that decided to be sentient one day. its lore is canonically that it was a flower that wanted different animal features-- bunny ears, cat's tails, big fox paws, etc-- so it learned to shapeshift itself into them! despite being based on many animals it's pretty far from the standard bunny :)

lots of furries have pokemon fursonas these days! my girlfriend is a hisuian typhlosion, and i have friends who are scolipedes, luxrays, eevees, giratinas, its really cute! lots of furries into being objects have fursonas that are plushies, pooltoys, and robots too-- trinkit has a pooltoy form too even!

sorry if i used your ask as an excuse to ramble too much ehehe but im pretty passionate about it! i think if you or anyone reading this wants to have a little nonhuman fursona that represents you i highly recommend it!! having fursonas, especially being a yoshi by default, really helped me feel better about my own body image and i love being a little creature :)

[euniexenoblade]

re: egg discourse

i thought it was just people saying that specifically making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic. are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?

i dont really have a side in the debate it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt

"making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic"

Sure, but it also isn't for a lot of people. And, a lot of people I talk to say egg jokes helped them realize who they were. Though I do think part of this resistance to an egg joke is actually internalized transphobia at points (the idea of being compared to trans people is being treated as degrading in a lot of these people's arguments) the truth of the matter is different people need and want different things. Me making eggs jokes with my friends is not your friend group.

This is why the recurring complaint of our side is it's never egg jokes can make people uncomfortable, 'make sure your friends are cool with them before just doing them,' it's always complaining about trans women forcing cis men to be women or trans women being "transvestigators" or "similar to Christian missionaries." People who are uncomfortable with egg jokes are always projecting their discomfort onto other people, other friend groups, and portray harmless fun between friends as something abusive.

Like for example,

this is a projection. the egg jokes people are talking about happen among friends and stuff, but this person is doing a whole "never make egg jokes because people did it about me and made me feel bad" (oh woe is you, people thought you might be transgender, how disgusting to be a tranny). The majority of egg jokes are not about random ass people, it's within friend groups. And, if you don't like your friends saying them, tell them to stop. If they don't? Then stop being their friends. Also from that post

The underwater filter butchered that. I know you can't read it but I wanted to post it cuz fucking look at that. What the hell. Anyways,

This opposition to egg joke people always talk about strangers. As if we're walking up to random people on the street and making egg jokes about them. It's mostly contained to friend groups. This is just an inaccurate portrayal of what's actually being discussed, and I'm sure the op will be like "I'm talking about my experience!" but OP openly admitted that this rant was relevant to a random blogger complaining about an egg tweet a woman made about her own friend group that neither this OP or that blogger are part of. They are actually dictating how strangers are allowed to act and identify with this, not the egg jokesters.

Yeah, once and a while you get shit like "Aaron Bushnell seems transfem" which was a completely innocuous convo that no one would have seen if well known transmisogynists who accuse random trans women of pedophilia like three times a year hadn't found the post. It was a trans woman seeing herself in someone important in history, and even if someone said something inappropriate, the backlash was undeserved. Yall say embarrassing shit all the time and no one's running you off the web site for it.

I'm sorry this person and others seem to have a bad time with egg jokes (though most of the time, what they describe isn't egg jokes but that's a whole other thing), but their few experiences can not be used to determine a blanket response to something so many people actually do enjoy and find useful. I'm especially not gonna take a cis person's opinions on egg jokes seriously (since so many have seemed to gotten involved and think their opinion on this matters).

"are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?"

Yes! That's like, the entire underlying premise of this! Like, 100% this is the backbone of every anti-egg joke argument. That's the entire concept of "egg prime directive." And, it's overwhelmingly weaponized against trying to help transfems realize themselves sooner than they would. From the aforementioned Bushnell drama, to the polls where a shit ton of transmascs voted it was ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans man but NOT ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans woman, to the newest drama where chongoblog whined about a random trans woman on twitter making egg jokes about her friend (which it was later revealed chongoblog misrepresented the tweet), the anti egg joke committee / "You can't tell anyone they're trans!!!" crew are always wielding this ideology against transfems / trans women but practically never against transmascs.

This is why it's constantly said that these posts and arguments are transmisogynistic in nature. "I'm a trans woman and I say eggs jokes are bad, so it can't be transmisogynistic you're just using that as a shield!" That's great but 1) maybe read between the lines, or read the criticisms you're clearly ignoring and maybe you'll see these people don't respect you 2) the whole "using transmisogyny as a shield" is like, classic transmisogyny at this point. We've been hearing that from anti-feminists, cryptoterfs, and trans woman hating google doc writers for a few years now and 3) you being complicit doesn't mean we gotta care about what you say.

"it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt"

Oh, I'm sure this is absolutely the case. The problem is a bunch of transphobes are really who spurred a lot of this drama up earlier this year and instead of people thinking "oh these people have bad intentions I shouldn't boost this" they instead were like "Yeah! I don't like egg jokes!" and now we have to deal with trans women making egg jokes (normal, harmless, pro-trans and literally want to help trans people) being compared to transvestigators (a literal anti-trans hate group thing). The issue is people aren't treating us as people, and thus it gets returned in kind.

What's the answer to this? Mutual understanding that "some people need to be told they're trans," "some people don't respond well to being told who they are," "egg jokes can help people and be a fun joke for friends," and "some people are uncomfortable with egg jokes" can all coexist. But, honestly, I don't think we'll ever get there.

[julesnjian]

System Mapping

Hello,

Recently I had a great call on Discord where I loosely gave some tips for system mapping. here's a more organized summary:

System mapping can be done in many different mediums. I prefer art, where i represent each alter with a circle and use arrows with words to signify how alters feel in relation to eachother. one of our alters system maps using friendship bracelets, another painted a mask. you can make a powerpoint, journal, really any medium. generally art and abstract system mapping can be less triggering than written system mapping.

as an alter i usually recommend that each alter make their own system maps and make new ones as time goes on. its important to note your perception of yourself and other alters so that you can notice and identify differences and misunderstandings. you can take it a step further and note anything that makes you feel distant or averse to that part, as noting things like that down can be discussed in therapy to help encourage understanding and empathy

writing and/or artistically portraying that you arent aware of an alter or your system is still very useful for yourself and for your therapist!

generally, i feel its very important to honestly portay/note down your personal understanding of the system as an alter without outside input from friends or from other alters, and you should allow your alters to do the same as this can help fill in the gaps and encourage genuine opinions, feelings and thoughts. each alter creating their own system map with their own opinions gives you and your treatment team an understanding of what everyone knows and doesnt know. some of my alters however dont agree with this perspective and prefer to map via including information from other alters as they see a combined perspective in their personal map to be important. if thats you, then thats fine! whats important is not forcing your perspective onto another alter or modifying their map without their consent

System mapping regardless of what medium you use is a very triggering process especially early on. please approach with caution and do not attempt to do it if you feel triggered. this isnt something you have to do alone, you can work on it with your therapist or with a trusted friend.

sometimes, alters will express perceptions and opinions that you dont agree with or that you find to be uncomfortable. this is good, because it means they are being honest and it also means you can bring up this conflict in therapy. hindering their map will only distance you further from them. its important that every alter has the right to exist and express themselves even if you dont like it.

since art is my primary medium, i prefer to communicate alters through shapes, sizes, complexity, colors, etc. you dont have to use words, but it is unfortunately true that the meaning of abstract portrayals can be lost to time due to the nature of CDDs

What my powerpoint consists of - All diagnosed mental health disorders, how those disorders affect different alters, what episodes relating to those mental health issues looks like for individual alters, all unhealthy coping mechanisms and which alters engage in them, alters primary roles/jobs and how they identify, any personal issues they may have whether its episodes or just general issues, and fun facts. Information I'd like to include in a future remake: how alters feel about themselves and other alters, the specific time frames alters percieve/the trauma they carry, where alters primarily front, known triggers. I personally reserve my powerpoint for professionals, my partner, and trusted friends. this level of detail is highly triggering and not necessary for system mapping but it is an option if you are able to do it.

other discussed ideas for system mapping/ones i can think of right now: Visual novel, coding, making figurines, knitting/crochet, creating a literal map, collages, pinterest boards, playlists, using objects to represent alters, word clouds, friendship bracelets, masks, videos, voice memos

and that's all i can remember right now! please let me know how you personally map out your system and if theres anything youd do differently <3

I dont feel like fixing formatting errors because tired I hope this is helpful

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking shit about and leaving a friend with severe mental health issues?

(CW for mental health issues, self harm, and transphobia)

For context, everyone in this story is pretty young, in Year 11/12 (American equivalent would be sophomore/junior year) and we live in a pretty religious country

I (16M) met a friend (15F) through her approaching me and saying my pins (including a pride pin) was cool. We clicked immediately, i went over for sleepovers and became close with even her mom. I only once brought up politics offhandedly, and she got quite uncomfortable, but i thought nothing of it at the time.

She constantly told me that I was her only friend who "understood" her, and would be there for her, so I never brought it up again. However, when I was introducing her to another friend (who is very gnc and identified as transfemme at the time) we opened up her youtube reccomended and it was quite literally disgusting.

JK rowling, terf videos and tradwifes galore. Candace Owens, Ben Shapiro, you name it, she had literally nothing except videos titled shit like "trans people mutilate themselves".

I was very hurt, because I happen to be trans, as well as most of my friends and my partner. I questioned her, but she pulled the "mental illness" defense. I was scared of her hurting herself so i apologised (to my other friend) and tried distancing myself from her, admittedly made a few jokes at her expense to others.

She began being more radicalised, positing insane, borderline qanon stories, but my plan to cut her off was interrupted by her going missing and me having to be the one coaxing her back to school, i felt she was too dependant on me to be as harsh as i shouldve been.

The final straw came when she 1) said she thought of my (healed) scars as something that encouraged her to self harm and 2) when i found out she outed me and my partner as T4T and queer to a random transphobic youtuber to put in a cringe compilation. this was not only immature but really dangerous to us.

Heres where I might be TA: my partner confronted her because he was worried about my mental health, and she apparently showed up to school and cried. I felt bad, but when i first found about it i laughed about it, and didnt support her even when i knew she had no other friends.

My partner asked her to either stay away from me or not express her beliefs, and as a result she called me crying that night, borderline suicidal, and in a panic I soothed her and said I wasnt going anywhere. A couple days later, a mutual friend sent me the screenshots of her outing us, and I think that sort of made me snap.

She used her religion as a shield against finding us "disgusting" and wanted a video made against us etc etc, describing horrible statistics and threats, describing "mutilation" and I felt like i couldnt endorse that attitude towards trans people in good faith, so i argued with her over text, with her accusing me of manipulating her multiple times.

Again, I mightve fucked up here because I called my friends while texting her and talked shit about her during this confrontation, sending screenshots of our private dms to them, and afterwards she became a bit of an inside joke within our friend group- she also left the school because i think she had barely any other friends.

I cant help but feel like i shoudve been more mature about it, and especially because she was ill, i dont want to be That Guy that makes fun of vulnerable people, even if she sucked herself. So, tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[starlightshadowsworld]

Bsd except Francis adopted Atsushi. It was originally for Fyodor's plans and his own to find the book.

But as time went on Francis grew to care for Atsushi as his son.

The day he fled with Atsushi and disbanded the Guild was the day Francis saw what Shibusawa was doing to Atsushi.

Atsushi spent the next years growing up in a modest cottage on the outskirts of Yokohama. It was sometimes lonely but his parents were always around and Atsushi loved them dearly.

Zelda was very protective over Atsushi. He was her sweet boy, her light in the darkness. She taught him how to play piano, how to map out stars.

Her darling daughter was everything to her and so is her dear son.

Francis adored him, he taught him how to shoot and self defence. He encouraged Atsushi's love of reading and always bought him a treat whenever they went out.

Both of them were concerned about Atsushi getting a job at the Agency. Especially after hearing how he met Dazai.

Money wasn't an issue of course but both agreed Atsushi couldn't stay inside with them forever. And he really wanted to join the Agency.

Learning about the Presidents ability definitely helped. Prior to that Atsushi spent full moons in a large old barn with his father nearby.

Things went okay for a while, Atsushi was happy and visted home often. Telling his parents about his friends and his adventures.

And while, they were concerned at times they were happy for him. That was until news Atsushi had a bounty came out and it was set by the Guild.

Now Atsushi knew about the Guild. Francis had told his son everything after they left. Even the original reason for his adoption, feeling nothing but guilt and remorse.

To his suprise Atsushi just hugged him and said he was glad because now he knew for sure his dad really cared about him. He hugged him back "I do, I always will."

So news his old organisation was trying to kidnapp his son angered Francis immensely. And hell hath no fury like Zelda Fitzgerald, Francis she was going to kill Fyodor herself.

What a woman.

Atsushi was terrified and his parents reassured him no one was going to dare take him from them.

Francis decides to meet with Fukuzawa, knowing the Agency are investigating this and wanting to help any way he can.

"Apologies, but given this concerns one of our members I'd prefer if everyone was present. Is that alright with you?" Asked Fukuzawa and Francis nodded, taking a seat.

"Of course, it's good to know my son has made such good friends."

"Wait this is about your son?" Asked Dazai making Kunikida sigh loudly. "Dazai, did you not listen to me earlier?!" Dazai grinned widely "nope."

Before Kunikida strangle him, Francis snorted and both turned their attention to him. "So you're Dazai, that definitely explains a lot. And you must be Kunikida."

He went and pointed out each member, correctly identifying them from his sons descriptions. And well, he'd met Kyouka a few times because Atsushi bought her over for dinner.

She waved at him and he waved back.

"And I leave the best for last, my dear boy Atsushi." Atsushi ducked his head "daaaaddd not infront of my friends." But they both knew he didn't mean it.

"Ohhh do you're Atsushi's father" Said Dazai as Kunikida facepalmed. "That I am and proud to be" Said Fitzgerald before becoming serious. "The organisation known as the Guild was one I lead for a number of years."

He told his story, how he went in search of a guide only to find a child. One that wormed his way into his heart and how he'd fled with him.

"I dont know Fyodor's plans, but whoevers running the Guild now is definitely working with him. His organisation is the Rats in the House of Dead."

Kunikida was writing this all down. "Does anyone in your previous organisation keep in contact with you?"

"There's Alcott, Poe as well." At that Ranpo looked up, curious. "That wouldn't happen to be acclaimed author, Edgar Allan Poe would it?"

Francis nodded, suprised he figured it out. "Friend of yours?" Ranpo smirked "something like that."

The meeting soon came to a close, everyone promising to keep Atsushi safe and Francis hugged him goodbye. "He's in good hands" Said Fukuzawa when it was just them.

Francis nodded "I know, I just..." He watches Atsushi smile and laugh with his friends. "I lost one child, I can't bare to lose another."

"And you won't" Said Fukuzawa, something about that made Francis believe him. "If you find the bastard know my wife has dibs on clubbing him in the head."

Fukuzawa chuckled "I'll remember that."

Elsewhere Atsushi shows his friends a picture of him and his parents.

"... So Atsushi are you in need of another father?" Asked Dazai with a smirk. Atsushi beat Kunikida to the punch and shook his mentor fiercely.

"Dazai if you ever ask my mum to commit double suicide with you. I will burn your signed copy of the complete guide to suicide."

"Ah! Not my darling, alright alright I won't."

[gvtted-ratz]

read all our tags/ratings. they r important n give u all u need 2 decide if u wanna actually read or not. do not like the tags/rating? do not read.

FEM ALIGNING/IDENTIFYING PPL (unless mutuals/friends) DNI WITH OUR MLM WORKS. fem ppl can still request tho. respect our wishes or get blocked. yes we do read/check everything. we tag appropriately/use tags that go with our posts.

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Mission Failed

Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish

Last Edited: 17/03/2023

TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention

@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

Word Count: 2,654

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!

At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.

The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.

With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.

Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.

It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.

The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.

And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.

With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.

Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.

“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.

“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.

“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.

“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.

“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.

Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.

With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.

“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.

“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.

“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.

The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.

While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.

“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.

“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.

“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.

“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.

“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.

“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.

“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.

“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.

“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.

“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”

“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.

“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.

“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.

“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.

“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.

“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.

Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.

[habitsbf]

im not one to usually pay attention to ships much, especially in the slenderverse fandom, but this one is genuinely super gross to me and my friends. i feel the need to talk about it ↓

evlex aka evan myers x alex koval.

ive seen people edit them together with romantic audios and claim its just a headcanon about alex having an "unrequited" crush on evan. the audios and themes displayed kinda make that hard to believe sometimes.

this ship is genuinely uncomfortable to see, mainly because my friend rocket and i happen to identify with the characters involved, but theres other more important reasons too.

why is this ship bad?

evans and alexs relationship shouldnt be seen as anything other than brotherly and platonic. in the most known clips of them interacting, evan is 20/21 and alex is 16/17. evan is an adult meanwhile alex is a minor.

hes also the younger brother of one of evans close friends, so that just makes it weirder imo.

i dont even want to hear anything about the age gap not being a lot, i dont care. its still wrong. this is still an adult x minor ship. that is gross.

i see people in this fandom throw around the word "proship" a lot. if you are looking for a ship that is ACTUALLY a proship and needs to be called out, its this one. this ship is pedophilic.

[blkkizzat]

I've been a virgin all my life like im talking no masturbation either.

So i tried fingering since my friends said it worked for them and it hurts like a bitch like seriously how do people feel pleasured from this?!?! 🥶

so masturbation on a larger level is self-care so make it apart of a self-care routine... now i usually just take a clit vibe and bust one out (sometimes just to sleep cause insomnia a BITCH lol) but i have a whole routine if i wanna use my fingers or a dildo, etc.

more below~ hjdscdkjfhvskdj not me explaining in detail how i masturbate... lol oh well let's go...

ok so first. set the mood for yourself, especially if you want vaginal penetration it's all about being relaxed enough for it to be enjoyable.

so take a bath, put some nice smelling lotion on, get in your fav undies or if you feel better nude thats fine too. light a candle. grab some lube. if you partake in marijuana, shrooms or alcohol (wine goes straight to my puss) this is an option too, but NOT NECESSARY. but if that is apart of your self care already then include it.

put on some soothing sounds. if you dont have a fav then tantric frequency music works, actually i would suggest this because it will be less distracting and the frequency allows you to connect to your body more.

next take your time. idk if you ever really took the time to explore your body. just touch yourself. but not anywhere sexual so leave your kitty and tiddies alone for a while. you know how in winter if your car been outside you gotta warm it up before you can drive it? its like that.

pleasure is a total body experience, so get your entire body sensitive first. you can make yourself wet without even touching your coochie. dont rush. slow down and really identify how various touch feels. (you can even apply lotion if you want too or body oils if you like)

just close your eyes and trace your body with touch, press, poke, pull, tug, stroke, etc, with various amounts of pressure (feather touch to rough) on various parts. just find what feels good and do that. concentrate on the music and try to find a rhythm. finally when you get to the point you find yourself aching and rubbing legs together then you can start touching more obviously erogenous zones like tiddies and vag. this is important to wait though (the longer you do this the more sensitive you will be, i sometimes do it for 20-30 min of just exploring touch) because the longer you wait to touch the more sensitive and better it will feel.

start with touching your vulva/coochie lips, softly, do what feels good and dont rush. tease around the clit and entrance, but dont touch or penetrate yet. then once ive done that a while thats when you can start touching your clit. sometimes thats more than enough and you will just cum from that and if you dont want to go further dont force it.

its completely normal for initial penetration to hurt or be uncomfortable. even for non virgins if you have done it in a long time you are gonna tighten back up. lube comes in handy make sure to lather the area and fingers good. so its all about now what feels good but since everything is gonna be uncomfortable at first i would just put a finger in there and just be still. dont move it. just get used to it being in there, almost like you're cockwarming your finger fhkjhsdfjkhsdjk. but i do this when i move up dildo sizes and its uncomfortable. i will literally just leave it in there for a while. sometimes ill then disengage and do other things like be on my phone, grab my switch and play somethin hkfgfsdjkhfdshj. but the point is you are just allowing your body to adjust lol. then take it out, theres been times where i havent felt anything pleasurable to until i took it out and then my coochie is like "wait bitch we were comfy and full" and then i start craving it back in. thats when you can experiment with a little motion. or start rubbing at your clit to help. dont do too much too fast and honestly its probably going to take a few tries for you to really feel comfortable with it but the more you do it, the less you need to do to work yourself open and you will be comfortable with what your body needs.

the key is just finding what your body needs to feel good. also you might get emotional or overwhelmed or even cry. not from pleasure but if you've never really masturbated or really explored than your sacral/root chakra is probably a bit blocked. when you release that it can be a bit overwhelming sense thats a huge center for emotions. if you don't know much about it you can learn about it here and here more.

good luck babes!

[absolutebl]

Hi!

I love your Blog and love to read your takes in everything. So thank you so much for all your Posts and thoughts about the industry etc.

Here is my question: i came across one of your posts where you wrote "actually gay, not bl gay" (it was a Post about Jojo and Only Friends) and while I FELT that I TOTALLY understood what you meant and instantly was like "yes 100% clear" Id love to read and learn more about what this means exactly and why some bls feel quite heteronormative while some dont. Would you mind explain the take on "actually gay Not Bl gay" a little bit? And why some Shows feel just more queer than others (besides the unbelievable stupid "gay only for you" trope lol)

Thank you so much and I hope you will have a nice day!

actually gay, not bl gay

There's actually quite a discourse on this right now mostly originating with @waitmyturtles and @wen-kexing-apologist (Post @killiru references above is here.)

I tend to mostly talk about this in broad brush strokes as a queer lens.

But there's a great ven diagram (which of course I've lost the link to) that approaches the idea of and queer lens by tunneling into its approach and intent:

about queers

by queers

for queers

How do different BLs intersect in different ways with these three elements?

When I said "actually gay, not BL gay" I was alluding to this discourse. Specifically the "about queers" category of BL.

There are characters in BL who read as genuinely gay (as in belonging to the queer family of this terrible reality we live in) and then there are those that seem more performative (to exist in a bubble of fantasy were sexual identity is almost unimportant, only the romance matters, everything is safe sweetness & light). For some queers this can read as manipulative or even exploitive (because it is inauthentic to most queer experiences). For me, it's fine... even desirable. I like the safe bubble. I enjoy the utter delusional escapism of it. Sometimes I will call this sanitized gay. (Since it is designed to make gay palatable to non-gay identified folks e.g. seme/uke.)

A sanitized gay BL may be unintentional but it is nested in origin yaoi and mm romance whose target market has never been the queer community, and whose authors have historically not been members of it, either.

Let's be frank, we queers are generally a terrible target market, we don't have enough spending power - especially not for a piece of pop culture as niched as BL. And as creators we really want our voices to be heard (obvs), which makes us produce content that those unsympathetic or uncaring find uncomfortable. (Yes, I know, fuck them, but also, they have all the money and the entertainment industry is a numbers game.)

So in the arena of office romances, just as an example:

actually gay = The New Employee

sanitized gay = Our Dating Sim

actual gay = Step By Step

sanitized gay = A Boss And a Babe

All of the above have the same tropes, archetypes, and premises. All of them are BL. Some are just... queerer feeling than others. And the characters in those shows (Step by Step and The New Employee) read as more "actually gay."

This has nothing to do with the actors, chemsitry, or how much we may personally like the show (Our Dating Sim is one of my absolute favorite BLs). It has to do with how closely those CHARACTERS intersect with the reality of queerness as we inhabit it today. It will be lots of little touches given to the drama by director and script:

language use,

surrounding friendships (and friendship style),

mannerisms and physicality (specially body language around straights vs other queer characters),

makeup & wardrobe,

facial expressions,

surrounding queer-coded behaviors by side characters,

layers of story nuance that indicate a complicated queer-driven back story.

Markers of specifically a queer identity are given to the leads.

These kinds of BLs are satisfying the "about queers" category. ("By queers" can be difficult to extract because IRL outting is involved. "For queers" is the rarest kind of BL, because making something specifically for us often alienates the majority of the rest of viewership/market. I could be argued that SCOY did this.)

I'm sure I've missed things, but I hope that kinda makes sense?

By/For/About discourse from @wen-kexing-apologist here:

Parts 1

Part 2

Part 3

I'm indebted to them for the links!

More Queer Stuff from Yours Truly

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity - I Am Gay versus I Like Men 

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer? 

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

BL in Taiwan & Gay Marriage

Debating Queerbaiting in BL ( + Devil Judge... is it queerbaiting?) 

BL Actors and the Assumption of Queerness - outing actors, coming out, being out, more:  Is that BL actor actually queer?

So is it really fetishization? straight women loving bl 

Some BL fans are sasaengs, and it’s a problem in this fandom 

BLs That Highlight How Society Treats Queers

10 BLs That Are Honest to a Queer Experience 

(source)

[kings-highway]

God each quad/poly ship you mention just brings me so much brainworms, all those *dynamics* just leave me foaming at the mouth. Great Stuff

A bit out of the way but any feelings on HinaNoya (Hinata x Nishinoya) both as a duo and maybe as a quad bringing in their popular ships?

sorry on the delay for responding to some of these. it's just who i am as a person. but I love receiving them!! never feel shy about asking my anything ever

mmmmm m mm 🤔

I feel like my first instinct is to just freak out at the sheer ball-lightning that this particular couple would induce. I don't think it's my favourite thing, but the more I think about it, the more I can like... kinda see how they could be really good for each other?

I can imagine them first bonding over the obvious, like volleyball and all their favourite competitions and athletics and they're both loud and energetic but I feel like that would be the, like, pre-relationship friendship stage. And Hinata is 100% volleyball but Noya has such an interest in everything beyond volleyball I can really see him broadening Hinata's worldview. Like... Hinata played soccer before he knew that volleyball was a thing. i really think Hinata and Nishinoya would have a lot of fun playing soccer together. And fishing. and baseball. and horseback riding. or whatever the hell else they can get up to.

I think hinata wouldn't really be able to identify his feelings as romantic for a long, long time, probably because this relationship would feel SO much different from his others? Especially post-timeskip. Like... his go-to best friends, Kageyama, and then his MSBY boys, Bokuto, Atsumu, Sakusa - like, they're all really REALLY volleyball forward. And his whole life is saturated in that. but then he has this OTHER friend, who loves the sport and comes to all his games but also just knows so, so much. Like Nishinoya would talk about every wonder of the world he's been to, all the games he's learned, these interesting little alcoves of culture and society and I think this ship could be really could because when Hinata realizes that he's fallen in love with Noya, I think he might take a break from his hyperfocus in volleyball and go globetrotting with his boyfriend. (noya had been waiting for him to realize for years)

I dont have too much more interesting to say with the addition of the polyship. BUT I actually think this one would work really well as a non-polycule polyship. Like I imagine Noya and Hinata could date each other while also dating Asahi / Kageyama. They'd get very different things oit of their relationships, and I dont this Asahi would mind having a second hyper energetic partner along for some of their trips, especially since it makes Noya so happy. They wouls absolutely both sleep on Asahi's chest tho. romantic or platonic. (Asahi wakes up so overheated and sweating its almost unhealthy)

Overall Rating:

Me, Personal Interest: 0/10

Concept/Potential: 3/10, I'd be willing to hear some arguments.

[mueritos]

Goddddd I'm transmasc, but I'm terrified of actually coming out because I actually like my "female figure", if that makes sense. It seems like I was fed so much transmed and terf-y ideals when I was younger that now I can't feel okay with identifying as trans without hating my body. I want to be perceived more masculine, but I also feel like what I'm comfortable with using (pronouns, even though I use mostly neutral ones, traditionally fem or masc clothes, etc) shifts overtime, and I don't want to be defending the labels that I use all the time, especially because I don't want to do top or bottom surgery, or start T (lots of people, mostly online, have told me to just call myself genderfluid, but I don't feel comfortable with that, and I'm scared of being called a trender or something)

I'm sorry for the ramble but I'm so sick of this, maybe this is silly or maybe I'm being completely unreasonable, I don't know anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be worried about how others perceive me like that, but idk. You can ignore this, but I'd also like to hear your two cents on this if you'd be comfortable with it

hey friend :) theres absolutely nothing wrong with how youre feeling or how you want to shape your body and identity. lots of trans people don't medically transition for all sorts of reasons, whether because of lack of access or because they dont want to. while I do think the community that is entrenched in colonialist ideas of transmedicalism are a minority (many are very baby trans people or have aged out of transmedicalist ideas), it is a very real threat in the sense that unfortunate movements have a way of ebbing and flowing into popularity.

that being said, there are SO many trans people open and willing and happy to accept you into the community. it is not your fault many people will incorrectly expect you to conform to certain expectations of gender. a large part of freeing yourself from these expectations is choosing a community that walks alongside you, not one that gawks at you. at the same time, we are forced to conform in certain contexts to maintain safety and access to resources. this forceful conformation is not your fault either. people will forever make assumptions about you, but it is your choice on whether or not you will continue choosing your freedom. this is not fucking easy of course when you exist under white supremacist systems.

youre also allowed to love parts of yourself others may not like about themselves. its not ur problem they feel those feelings. ive had strange comments thrown my way when I discuss how i experience connection and pleasure with my body, sometimes from other trans people. once you start realizing people are coming at you with their own baggage, it becomes a little easier to free yourself from their burdens. again, this isnt very easy when youre marginalized and expected a lot, some of those expectations being you people please.

only you have the clearest image of who you want to be. take baby steps, build your confidence, and find your people. you'd be surprised what a small yet understanding community can do for your confidence.

anyway, i wish u luck ^-^ feel free to message me again if you'd like more thoughts or want to vent. you're allowed to be sick of this, forever and always, but invest in yourself and your communities.