#especially in the first part
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Gender presentation of JJK female cast
This post contains spoilers for events in the JJK manga that happen after season 2 of the anime.
Part 1 - presentation
The first part of this post is going to be about how I perceive the gender presentation of most JJK female cast - aka the characters I’m fairly confident the author wants the audience perceive as women.
There are a few caveats I need to make up front.
First of all I will be using adjectives like feminine and female, masculine and male to describe the gender presentation of characters.
These categories stem from the cultural concept of a gender binary correlated with a biological sex binary that exists in many contemporary societies in one form or another. Concept because neither biological sex nor gender is binary. And this concept is very closely linked to traditionalist thinking, patriarchy, misogyny, right wing ideologies (including radfem ideologies) and fundamentalist religion and is reinforced by capitalism. All these forces have a vested interest in building up masculinity and femininity in opposition to one another and drawing a very clear distinction between them.
Of course as such these categories’ve been tackled by feminism, queer theory and general leftism, reinvented, reclaimed, etc.
And like pointing out the origin of masculine and feminine is not me trying to judgemental about them. It’s to explain that when I’m using them here, I’m using them in reference to their origins, to what I believe a right wing person would consider feminine or masculine. It will become clear why later.
The second caveat is that my perception on what would read more feminine and what more masculine is very subjective and deeply rooted in my own culture, my own experiences with gender and also what I’ve seen from other cultures over the years. And some of you looking at my categorisations below will think: nah, I don’t read that like that at all. I hope you will still understand my points even if you’d put some of the characters in different groups.
The third caveat is that I’ve included most of the characters but not all of them, not even all of the ones the tier maker offered. I skipped them because I considered them too background to feature, like looking at them I couldn’t recall anything about their personality or anything like that.
The last caveat is that by presentation I mean outer appearance (clothes, hair style, accessories) mixed with how the characters carry themselves and their mannerism. So like the overall visual vibe.
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I used the tier maker website but this is obviously not a tier thing but I just found this tool easy to organise the characters, it had most of the characters I wanted to use, and it was easy to upload the one I felt was missing.
Since this is an organising effort, I actually put blank lines into it to separate the groups: masculine, mixed and feminine.
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And just one look at it shows how the vast majority of the women in JJK neatly fit into the feminine side of the presentation spectrum.
So I divided it further. Here is my thought process behind it, and I know it may sound a bit weird.
First of all, I separated classical feminine presentations from contemporary ones.
The classical ones are for me ones that even rather conservative right wing people wouldn’t consider unfeminine, or not feminine enough. Even if they could consider some of the presentations sexually aggressive.
The contemporary ones are those where some right wing dipshits would be like: she’s not trying enough to be appealing to my very narrow view of what a proper woman looks like.
The second distinction is between deliberate and casual. So whether there are grounds in the text of JJK to believe so or whether I get the overall vibe from the character that she’s putting thought into the femininity of her presentation or whether it just feels that she just leans that way and doesn’t consider the reasons for that.
So the deliberate contemporaries all sometimes assume female associated poses and mannerisms at will and they are doing it consciously. And they seem to have an attitude towards their gender.
But they do not weaponise it like the deliberate classicals. Only Takada doesn’t do it for evil, she just does it for her career. The other four are very aggressive in their use of it. Mei Mei uses it to seduce her baby brother. Remi and Ogami to lure men to their deaths. Tsubasa to get her classmates to bully Junpei.
I don’t want to say that it’s conscious on Gege’s part, that the cursed cat put this much thought into it. But it feels in line with how this classic femininity is seen as a tool by the right wing men. A tool they want to use but also fear because they feel weak to it.
In this framing the deliberate contemporary would be not appealing enough to right wing men. It’s more a presentation that feels targeted to appeal towards centre left women.
The casual classical presentation is probably the most desired by the traditionalist crowd. Women just falling in line but not trying to wield it.
But to people who are not into policing how others look and don’t follow right wing influencers, both casual looks classical and contemporary will likely register as neutral.
I put three characters into the feminine but not sure how category. Uro has her jewellery and her body language slants feminine for me but she’s naked and I’m not sure how to read that. I also put there Sasaki and Nitta because we only see Sasaki in her school uniform and Nitta in her work clothes and after some thought I decided that I don’t want to make a decision without seeing their casual outfits, because I didn’t feel like they gave me enough of a clear vibe, unlike Mimiko, Nanako or Riko.
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Now to the three in the masculine presentation category, or at least leaning masculine.
Yuki often vibes masculine clothes-wise and posture but it’s not 100%. She has feminine outfits, she strikes feminine poses sometimes. For me she’s very “however I felt that day” gender presentation wise.
Miwa is fascinating. I searched for JJK wifu rankings (I took mental hits for this post, okay) and Miwa is in all of them, even the short, like 5 character ones. I haven’t seen her top any of them but she’s usually high. Miwa’s uniform is a suit, shirt and tie. I had a conversation about this with cursedvibes and he said that in a professional setting it doesn’t strike him as a masculine outfit, especially that the suit is cut for a female silhouette. But culturally, where I live, because she’s not wearing a blouse under the jacket, it would read masculine to a lot of people. It only shows how culturally loaded this all is. And then he found me a drawing of Miwa in casual clothing and it’s this:
Yeah, her outfits are on the masc side but she feels so girly. I love her so much.
Tengen will look masculine in a gown:
And she’s shown wearing suits with a masculine cut. Amazing.
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Part 2 - Maki and Mai
So what prompted me to even think about the presentation of the female characters was this garbage post.
It seems to have been deleted so I cropped the author’s name and icon out. Idk why the author did that but maybe they don’t hold these opinions anymore. Maybe someone pointed out to them that that vague about Maki is deeply misogynist and lesbophobic. And since they were trying to perform a feminism with this post, they just deleted it because it wasn’t a good look. They could’ve just deleted that Maki vague, the rest of the post is inoffensive.
Maybe they actually looked at the manga and realised that fuck, they are wrong about what’s in there.
That Maki vague is very unpleasant to me on a few levels.
Before Jougo burns Maki, she usually wears skirts. She has a girly hair style. She wears the cutesy leg warmers. Maki pre burns actually tops several of the wifu lists I’ve looked at! Her appearance is read as girly and desirable by what I assume are straight male western anime fans who make these lists.
So to associate Maki so strongly with masculinity you need to buy into the bullshit that personality traits are gendered. Or that having certain ambitions, desires or priorities is reserved for either men or women.
That Maki’s ambition and/or lack of nurturing traits and/or her harsh bully personality make her by default masculine. While also pretending that Mai isn’t a harsh bully.
Even after the burns her outfit is not masculine.
It really accentuates her curves, it’s tight, it has the decorative belt and cape. Look how she poses in it. Cursedvibes said that he gets a superhero vibe from it and he’s absolutely right. Yorozu’s outfit has a similar vibe, and so do some of Yuki’s outfits.
But it also accentuates Maki’s arms. And she has amazing arms.
Her pre burns outfits don’t expose her muscles so much. Her fighting style doesn’t really emanate with that much strength.
The above post alludes to the moment of Mai’s death. The first time when Maki is wearing trousers while Mai is in a skirt in the same scene. It’s after Maki was disfigured, has shorter hair. Is in an outfit that accentuates her athleticism.
Professional female athletes get their femininity questioned all the time, they try to perform femininity during competitions with makeup, hairstyles, sometimes their outfits to counteract that. Things that male athletes don’t have to do.
And even though Maki’s outfit isn’t really masculine, it’s not as strongly feminine as her skirts because it doesn’t hide the physical strength in a palatable package. So there is some change in presentation but it’s not an obvious jump from full femininity to full masculinity.
Also scarring is something women tend to hide more than men. Scarring is culturally charged considered a blemish and any form of deviating from the norm, clear and unblemished skin, carries the possibility of ridicule. But society puts extra pressure on the appearance of women. Naoya even attacks Maki’s post burns appearance directly.
And this is the last level why that vague is unpleasant specifically in the context of Maki. Her family constantly challenged her value as a person. Tied a lot of their bullying to her not being enough. Not human enough because she had no cursed energy. And the only sliver of value they awarded to her was her attractiveness as a woman. Sliver because they despised her for not falling into the role of a meek, invisible woman, the servant to the heir.
Yet neither she nor Mai seem to have ever rejected their femininity. Maki’s rebellion didn’t go into her gender or gender presentation. And it easily could’ve. With the trauma she has it wouldn’t be strange if she had a complicated relationship with her own gender. But she doesn’t seem to and that’s also okay. And this isn’t a criticism at creators of fan art or fic that depict Maki as more butch, that include considerations of gender and gender presentation into her trauma or rebellion against the Zenin. This is specifically an issue with these kinds of takes that wear the guise of interpreting the actual text of JJK.
This is why I’ve been talking about how one needs to be careful when critiquing JJK from a feminist point of view. This is just the latest post I’ve seen where the author in their attempt to paint Gege as doing a supposed misogyny, did an actual misogyny themself. Here’s another one I actually responded to.
One of my fandom friends, Subdee, has always talked about how radfems and right wing fundamentalists are astroturfing the fandom, how many people who pursue their fandom hobbies on social media get exposed to radfem ideology masqueraded as progressive feminism or queer theory. And if these people don’t have a solid foundation when it comes to these issues they will internalise the rainbow puritanism and radfem ideology. While they also usually get dragged into these ideas that fandom is activism, that you have to present a certain ideological purity through fandom not to be a bad person. That you have to be “critical” of what you “consume” and actively seek out the problematic aspects of the works and condemn them.
And it is very clear in both the post about Maki and the one about Nobara. The desire to be “critical” and the deeply rightwing radfem ideology. Because to think that Maki is masculine and Nobara is unfeminine you have to believe in such a painfully narrow idea of what femininity can be, an idea that you could hear espoused by a far right influencer.
The Maki post actually went further than that. It hints upon other radfem ideas of any proximity to masculinity giving the person automatic privilege (aka butches have male privilege bullshit). But even if we imagined an alternative universe version of JJK which had grounds to link Maki to masculinity strongly enough for it to match Sukuna’s very obvious and aggressive traditional masculinity, there’s another radfem red flag in that post. The implication that a feminine person doing something for a masculine person is inherently an act of being exploited. Regardless of the circumstances of the situation, because the Maki/Mai situation is not even remotely similar to the Sukuna/Yorozu situation if you actually give it a few seconds of thought. The idea of femininity always being the victim of masculinity is one that inherently means that feminine people are weak, helpless and can’t make their own decisions, it strips them of any agency. It undercuts and disrespects both what Mai and Yorozu did.
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post script.
I recommend the interview that Gege did together with Kubo, the creator of Bleach. There's some interesting stuff in the about how for instance someone from the industry views Gege's female cast.
(Side note, one wifu list included guys and Gojou and Megumi were higher than Yuuji! Can you believe that? He’s the only proper wifu out of the 3 of them. Disgraceful, that’s why straight people shouldn’t have the right to vote on anything, even anime wifus)
#jjk spoilers#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#female characters#femininity#masculinity#maki zenin#mai zenin#my ramblings#ramblings#i'm honestly not sure if i managed to make sense#especially in the first part#but when i was setting out divide the characters into groups i actually didn't expect that so it would be so overwhelmingly one sided#i didn't really exactly remember everyone's outfits#i just recalled how much maki favoured skirts pre shibuya
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Already knowing the twist, I want to know if this was talked about beforehand or if Kunikida just wanted to roundhouse kick his co worker
#Bungo Stray Dogs#Doppo Kunikida#Junichirou Tanizaki#I mean in Kunikida's defense#especially in the first part#I'd also want to kick him in the face#so like I get it#BSD Manga reread
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Baffled.
#personal#not art#like how do you arrive at this conclusion#what beliefs?#the man may be a total grouch but if there’s one thing he HATES it’s Japanese nationalism#Japanese nationalists famously HATE his work especially the wind rises which criticizes imperial Japan and calls out the invasion of China#don’t ask for context on the first part of the tag I’m not answering
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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captain's warm hugs! (id in alt)
#opfanart#one piece#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#sanji#my first nongun art in 8 kabillion years. i watched opla recently and it resurged smth deep within me...#idk who of my first followers are still here but one piece has been like T_T urgh. my beginnings... i love this series so much#LUFFY especially - zoro is my favorite but luffy is the heart of the show!!! inaki's performance was really fun and carried that same#vibrancy - it made me sooo happy to see... and in general the romance dawn crew has always been dear to my heart uuu... the la gave a lot o#good bits between the og trio but i def wish we couldv seen more with usopp & sanji too. but maybe.. if we ever get a season 2 :'D#anyway i love the straw hats steadily getting used to luffy's shenanigans and even liking it at some point. the warming up part of all thei#friendships is so dear to me and its just a natural blossom of comfort and trust. and some of these mfs are Touch starved fr....#ruporas art
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#Adventure Time#Betty Grof#Magic Betty#I've watched Fionna and Cake and it made me want to watch the original Adventure time in its entirety#(I've only watched the first two or three seasons before)#And omg I've never thought I'd like the main plot that much!!!#Especially the Simon/Betty parts#So I may post more in the future!!!#myart
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Someone needs to do an analysis on the way the Kung Fu Panda movies use old-fashioned vs. modern language ("Panda we meet at last"/"Hey how's it going") and old-fashioned vs. modern settings (forbidden-city-esque palaces/modern-ish Chinese restaurant) to indicate class differences in their characters, and how those class differences create underlying tensions and misunderstandings.
#This is neither a criticism nor a compliment of that artistic choice#I just think it's really interesting#Like even looking at the Five:#Tigress talks in an older style than the others because she was mainly raised at the Jade Palace#While Mantis talks like Joe-schmo off the street because he *was* a streetfighter and an ordinary guy#Shifu and even Tai Lung talk like they're from an old-fashioned novel or kung fu movie#Po talks like a modern guy you'd meet working in a twenty-first century family restaurant#Part of Tigress's initial disdain for him in the first movie is clearly because she considers him to be low-class/a commoner#(And therefore an intruder into the world of the Jade Palace and the rest of the Kung Fu masters which appears to be semi-noble).#Shen looks genuinely off-put and disgusted when he has to respond to Po's greeting with a “...hey.”#And when Po wants to appear more legitimate as a warrior he adopts a more “legendary”/old-fashioned way of speaking.#In the aesthetic language of KFP old fashioned=noble/upper class and modern=common/lower class.#This translates entirely naturally—I think especially to an American audience—but it is wild once you notice it#Because you realize: “Hang on—shouldn't *all* these characters be talking like they're living in the medieval era?”#“And what does it mean that they're not? What is the movie attempting to convey with this—probably entirely subconscious—artistic choice?”#kung fu panda
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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Prompt 301
Ellie, during one of her stints of what do I do with my life right now, decides to, with the help of her Original Dad-Person (Look he’s aging and she’s not and it gets less questions the older he gets if he says daughter instead of sister with how the Fentons are getting older too) creates a Boo-Tube channel. No, not a Youtube channel, those are stuck to a single dimension.
Bootube on the other hand? Due to being through the Realms (and wow is Tucker getting so much income from creating it) is interdimensional. Which is so cool honestly. And she doesn’t know what to do at first, and honestly there’s already so many travel blogs that she kind of just… decided to do something that she wished someone had done for her and her brothers and Danny when she was new to the world.
So she creates the channel CAAW: Clone Awareness, Accommodations, and Welfare. They had to learn things through trial and error, but maybe she can help someone out there learn how to find their own selves, or even help someone not melt.
#DCxDP#DPXDC#Prompts#Kon & all the other clones Love Her so much#And it genuinely helps people figure things out if they Do have sudden clones#Each video is in an entirely new place & sometimes it’s just her and sometimes she drags in her DNA Donor & Co#Danny also did a video on what to do if you suddenly find out you have a clone & also discusses the emotions#”I know it feels violating as hell- but you can’t take it out on them. Artificial memories or information or not that is a newborn- a baby-#& they don’t know any better- but also be aware of if you know you Can't properly care for a child & make sure they have a caretaker”#”But also do feel free to beat up the person who stole your DNA especially if they’re your villain-rogue-or whatever other term your#timeline has it’s cathartic”#Ellie has videos such as: How to figure out clone relationships & How to find your first hobbies#& Interacting with the world: What to do First#Some are sillier and lighter while some are more serious#There’s also a special multi part series with special guest Dan referred to as the Evil Clone series#Technically he’s both from the future a fusion & a clone & it’s crazy to the people watching
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Racial Distribution world map
Map based on the population majorities living in the Dungeon Meshi World
Map from this pixiv post and was created based on the "Areas with the largest populations" mini maps from the adventurer's Bible.
Legend Translation by @heattth Thank you!
Mini maps and addional map under the cut.
Adventurer's Bible mini maps
Religious Distribution (non Canon)
This map shows the religious distribution on the world map, but I'm not sure what its based on. I believe it's a headcanon.
edit: checked with some friends and indeed the (妄想) at the description of the pixiv post indicates this one isn't canon
#dungeon meshi#adventurers bible#dungeon meshi map#maps#for referencing#fantasy map#the hole where Utaya used to be...#Tallmen#Half-foots#Elves#Dwarves#Gnomes#ogres#Oni#Kobold#Worldbuilding#non canon#I edited the first map a bit cause some parts were bothering me#especially the red and dark blue
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Do you go by it/its exclusively now? Do you want your wikipedia page to be updated?
the wikipedia article is partially edit protected because people keep trying to edit the pronouns in it without checking either the talk page, the page history or at the very least the linked references on the footnote regarding my pronouns. i have to tell people on here not to edit the pronouns in the article almost every single month and half the time someone sees me asking not to go change them as some sort of challenge and immediately goes to edit the article. please just don't.
#and to answer the first part of your question#i very much prefer it/its especially in non formal settings which is why that's the only thing it says on my social media profiles#if you were to check my website you'd see it still says it/she (which by the way isn't a mistake you need to point out to me i know myself)
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Imo the most impressive thing Leo’s done is hold this pose for as long as he did while covered head to toe in gold paint:
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#if you’ve ever had to wear body paint that stuff can be UNCOMFORTABLE#AND to hold that pose for so long - not moving a muscle even when they first started falling?#as humorous as this is it is no joke highly impressive#I also love the implication that they disguised Leo SO FAST that Big Mama JUST finished with item 1#this is why Leo grows to become the worlds greatest ninja#bro’s dedication to subterfuge is godly#also#Leo 🤝 Mario: being painted gold and tricking the villainess into thinking you’re a statue#side note but in this same episode leo makes a comment about being betrayed by his brothers all the time in a happy tone#and I wonder if that’s part of where his love for epic betrayals comes from#or if his bros partially did those betrayals because they know he likes them#also also#nearly all of Leo’s absolute best moments are contained within episodes that feature either Hueso or especially Big Mama#and I find that interesting#ALSO also also#Karai and Big Mama both embody different aspects of Leo’s key character traits and in this essay I will-#side note but as I mentioned in the notes LEO WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD CHEERLEADER AND SPECIFICALLY A FLYER#bc here’s the thing he has literally all the marks of a good one - the main one being what he shows HERE#the ability to LOCK HIS POSITION#plus his affinity for showmanship like#AND his literal JOB AS A MASCOT???#let my guy be a cheerleader plz#he and Mikey both would be so good at it
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Self-portraits
#mine#oc#...Kind of...???#These are part of my portfolio I did for class this year. I'm not totally satisfied with all of them but I'm overall happy with what I made#especially since this was the first year where I worked only in physical paints! All but one of these are acrylic (second is acrylic + oils
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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao
not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad
#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is#i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good#it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little#irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny#and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately#reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women#who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their#personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny#i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit#among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere#from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy#anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem#but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3#taylor swift
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Too Hard
Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.
The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.
What a stupid thought to have because of you.
Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.
So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.
“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.
Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.
On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.
Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”
Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.
His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.
Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.
After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.
If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.
The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!
For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.
After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.
Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.
Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?
Could you possibly-
Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.
He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-
Jamil froze in his tracks.
The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.
Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.
Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.
Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.
Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?
Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.
What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?
Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.
He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.
Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.
“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.
“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.
As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.
And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.
Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.
All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.
“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.
Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.
Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?
Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.
Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.
“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.
Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.
“Hmm. Maybe he will.”
Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?
Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.
How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?
“You know-”
“So-”
You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.
Even your surprised look was so-
“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.
“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.
“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”
He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.
“No. It is not.”
You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.
Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?
“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.
“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.
Wait.
Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?
The thought twisted his stomach into knots.
Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#ner writes#jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels#also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life#like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for#but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but#a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and#b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so#also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back#but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now#also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series#if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines#also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part#I certainly had fun writing that line#(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)
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