#especially if you like psychological manga

[nsfwitchy2]

"My grossness tolerance is pretty high, I could watch two green people who aren't skinny have sex without finding it nauseatingly repulsive" okay lmao

FUCKING!!! ON GOD!!!!! 😭😭

Like I don’t wanna talk TOO much shit because tbh he seems like a nice guy ngl. But that just took me out at the fucking knees. Idk I just think if your grossness tolerance is measured by something I could easily find on rule34 in under ten seconds maybe you should like,,,, reevaluate that. Expose yourself to more of the horrors life has to offer you.

This video is the emotional equivalent of hearing somebody go, “Yeah I can do the world champion high dive. I was on the swim team in middle school!”

[musical-chick-13]

So, so many times people will say “I wish I could find a story where___” and then it’s something that is significantly present in either a) Chainsaw Man, b) Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, or c) both.

[bones4thecats]

Basic Headcanons Of Life With Their S/O

Type of Writing: #8 - Poll Result Characters: Kazutora Hanemiya, Keisuke Baji, Haruchiyo Sanzu, and Tetta Kisaki Name: Basic Headcanons Of Life With Their S/O Original Poll Link: Here

A/N: This isn't my best piece, but I do hope you guys at least kinda like it!

P.S: Kazutora's has slight spoilers for the manga, along with Sanzu's. Btw, these are mainly set in a world where it goes normal, but they're a hint more sane Sanzu and Kisaki

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🐯 Kazutora has major psychological issues, so, when he first got out of Juvenile Detention, you kept your distance from him, knowing if he ever got a hand on you, it wouldn't be the best

🐯 But, you were there for him while he went through his second sentence of Juvie, this one being for the death of Baji

🐯 You went alongside Draken and Takemichi when Kazutora was being held up, and you smiled and nodded to him as he cried. You knew he was trying to express himself and get better now, he couldn't, no, he wouldn't risk losing another person dear to him

🐯 Throughout the ten years he was placed in that building and speaking to professionals, he always awaited your weekly to daily visits

🐯 At the time he was released, you were living in a shared apartment with Chifuyu, who had asked if you were okay with Kazutora coming to stay with you guys for a while

🐯 Of course, you agreed and went with him to pick the now young man from his home of 10 years, and your close friend could tell that you were giddy about seeing your still-in-contact boyfriend

🐯 Kazutora just waited to see Chifuyu's vehicle, and he was quite happy when he saw his old friend, and, when he did see you come outside the opposite side, his eyes swelled up with tears. You actually came!

🐯 You and Chifuyu owned the Pet Store together, and you both welcomed Kazutora with open arms. He was like family after all, and it would be what Baji wanted

🐯 He and you began to grow just as close as you were back in his very youthful days, before the bike store incident and whatnot

🐯 Eventually, Chifuyu began to tease you guys that you treated the animals in the store as your own children. And while that did fluster Kazutora, he couldn't help but wonder; would you be alright with kids? Like when you guys finally settle together?

🐯 And now your chasing Chifuyu with a pissed off cat- oh shit the cat just lunged at him! Y/N!

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⚖️ Baji and you were childhood admirers. And by far this guy was super nervous whenever you even looked at him

⚖️ He loves to bring you around the city on his bike, especially after fights, he does like to flaunt off what he's got all to himself, after all, nobody can be duplicated, and he has the best S/O ever!

⚖️ Baji also adores to mess with you, probably not as much as a certain someone Mikey, but he does love messing with you. From grazing your arm while passing one another to messing your hair up, this guy loves to do it

⚖️ He is also very protective of you, and when I say someone is protective, I mean it

⚖️ Once time for example;

⚖️ You had been spending a lot of time alongside these guys from Toman, and they were brand-new members of the first division. And while he normally is happy to watch you get all giddy around people, he knew there was something up

⚖️ The thing that put it out like a sore thumb was when he was over at your house and he heard your phone ringing, making you groan and ask him to answer it

⚖️ Baji picked up the landline and just casually laid out who's house it was and if the person wanted to leave a message for either you or your family

⚖️ His eyes widened when he heard two chuckles on the other side of the line before hearing the most crude and revolting comments about you, and that was making him BEYOND pissed

⚖️ You were shocked to walk into your main room to see Baji yelling at the people on the other line, saying how disgusting they were and how they were surely going to be punished for such an action attempted on his S/O

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🎭 Sanzu and you had a difficult bond to decipher, so it shocks everyone when they see him walk up behind you and nuzzle into your neck

🎭 He, much like many of the Tokyo Revengers characters, is a very protective person. But he has a whole nother reason for being so protective of you, that being he didn't want you being hurt the same way that he has seen some others be

🎭 For some reason, I can see him being someone obsessed with crime shows and news, so in tole, I can see him watching those shows about people catching pedos (Undercover Underage for example)

🎭 Anyways, being with Sanzu is a roller coaster, especially when it comes to future him

🎭 He has gone through many problems throughout his life, from getting those scars on his mouth to dealing with substance abuse, this guy needs support like no other

🎭 And you were the perfect person to help him there

🎭 You, unlike many, did not just stand by and watch him get worse, instead, you jumped in and began to try helping your dearest with his problems, starting with his personal image of himself

🎭 Despite how many view him, Sanzu does have some issues with how he sees himself. He has a strained relationship with both his sister and brother, yet he somehow has an amazing one with you... how does that make any sense?

🎭 It doesn't. That is until you prompted the duo to actually speak to him about it, it was this action that prompted them to actually grow closer as a family, to be a real family again

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👓 Kisaki always had an eye for one person, Hina... that was, until you came into the picture

👓 You were always there for the male. Helping him calm down when his emotions finally cascaded around him, wrapping him in a web of overthinking

👓 But, every time you actually tried getting to know him, he would push you away. Until you assisted him in creating a plan to gain Hina's attention and break her and Takemichi away

👓 You could tell he was starting to have a mental break, and you weren't just going to stand aside knowing that you could've done something to help your friend. Even if this upset Hanma, it would be worth it

👓 Kisaki was raking his hands through his blonde hair, gritting his teeth while rubbing his temples, throwing his hands in a vicious cycle of brushing, gritting, and rubbing and repeat

👓 Walking behind him, you reached out and laid a cup of his favorite beverage on the table of your home's before lightly touching his shoulder, making him look at you in shock

👓 You smiled gently as he looked in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around his midsection. He couldn't believe it, you were hugging him! Didn't you think he was crazy for being so motivated to break such a happy couple up?

👓 Ever since that day, Kisaki and you somehow seemed closer than ever, closer than Hina and Takemichi seemed to be

👓 Speaking of the infamous time-traveler, he was shocked. This hadn't happened in any different timelines he traveled through. In all of them, Kisaki went mental and killed you. For what reason? He only had two hunches; you knew too much or he didn't want you to see him do anything worse...

👓 But, despite the shock, he'd have to admit, this was exactly what he wanted to happen. He always saw you guys as such a nice duo, it was nice to not worry about what Kisaki would do for once

[devildomwriter]

Ten Manga I Think They’d Enjoy

Lucifer

He likes manga that reads like classic literature, dark stories, mysteries, psychological stories, and occasionally something sweet or cute

Monster, Devilman, Children of the Sea, A Country Without Humans, Doomsday With My Dog, Island in a Puddle, Erased, For the Kid I Saw In My Dreams, Innocent, Shonen Note

Mammon

He likes stories involving his personal hobbies like working on cars, gambling, etc. he also enjoys funny stories and secretly cute romances or relatable romances

The Brave-Tuber, Call of the Night, Fruits Basket, Life Lessons With Uramichi Oniisan, Initial D, Fairy Tail, Chio’s School Road, Gambling Apocolypse, Kakeguri, Prince Freya

Leviathan

Leviathan loves everything but he’s especially a fan of gaming manga, magical girls, monster girls, isekai, and the classics

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Black Butler, Berserk, Darling in the Franxx, Dragon Goes House Hunting, I Want to Be A Wall, The Great Snake’s Bride, Puella Magi Madoka, Sailor Moon, Magical Girl Incident

Satan

Satan loves manga that reads like classical literature but he also loves stories about cats, dark mysteries, psychological stories and ones with characters he finds relatable

Chi’s Sweet Home, Ascendance of a Bookworm, Ex-Yakuza and Stray Kitten, Evil Secret Society of Cats, I Am a Cat Barista, Case Closed, Night of the Living Cat, Natsume’s Book of Friends, Summertime Rendering, The Promised Neverland

Asmodeus

Asmodeus mostly enjoys romance whether it’s cute and fluffy or extremely erotic

Ouran High School Host Club, Lovesick Ellie, Monster Musume, MADK, Yarichin Bitch Club, Cherry Magic!, Dick Fight Island, Sweat and Soap, Shiori’s Diary, Nina the Starry Bride

Beelzebub

Beelzebub is a big fan of manga involving food but he also enjoys a good action adventure and sports manga

Food Wars, Delicious in Dungeon, Farming Life in Another World, Mashle, Sachi’s Monstrous Appetite, Starving Anonymous, Something’s Wrong With Us, Eyeshield 21, Kaiju No 8, Campfire Cooking in Another World With My Absurd Skill

Belphegor

Belphegor likes stories with relatable characters which can be hard to find but he also loves adventures, horror, and Slice of life; he’s a little all over the place

Sleep Princess in the Demon’s Castle, The Girl From the Other-side, Hell’s Paradise, Mieruko-Chan, Tokyo Aliens, Shibuya Goldfish, Non Non Biyori, Kemono Jihen, Beyond the Clouds, Laid Back Camp

Solomon

Solomon loves compelling narratives, dark psychological stories, stories that take a deeper look a humanity and immortality, and one’s that involves demons/angels/sorcerers. He does also love cat books like Satan

Death Note, Creepy Cat, No Longer Human, Devils and Realist, Frieren, Made in Abyss, Mao, Sakamoto Days, A School Frozen in Time, Stein’s Gate, Happiness

Thirteen

Thirteen is a little all over the place, she likes to see what’s popular but she also enjoys slashers, one’s that take a closer look at death and spirits, and dark romance

Elfen Lied, Attack on Titan, Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, Momo the Blood Taker, Assassination Classroom, Can’t Stop Cursing You, Love of Kill, Angels of Death, Vampire Knight, Toilet Bound Hanako Kun

Simeon

Simeon enjoys reading manga that have some religious aspects, he likes ones about authors since they are relatable, and he enjoys some random ones here and there that are cute or funny. He’s also a sucker for a pure romance

Heaven’s Design Team, Gabriel Dropout, The King’s Beast, Merman in My Tub, My Girlfriend’s Child, A Sign of Affection, Tsubaki Chou Lonely Planet, An Incurable Case of Love, Monthly Girl’s Nozaki Kun, Perfect World

Raphael

Raphael canonically likes coming of age sports dramas. I believe he’s also he amused by one’s involving ant Christian aspects about angels and demons, heaven and hell. He also enjoys one’s that include his hobbies like security, military, and anything to do with fashion

Blue Lock, Haikyu, Blue Exorcist, Vatican Miracle Examiner, Maiden of the Needle, My Dress Up Darling, Not Sew Wicked Step Mother, Witch Hat Atelier, A Bride’s Story, Wind Breaker

Luke

Luke loves to try everything but his books are monitored to make sure he doesn’t stumble upon anything inappropriate for his age ana angel status. He loves ones about food, animals, adventure, and a good slice of life or 4-panel.

Happy Happy Clover, Yuzu the Pet Vet, Yotsuba&!, Sui and Tai-Chan, My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer, Dinosaur Sanctuary, Kitchen Princess, Astro Boy, Naruto

Michael

Michael enjoys funny books, one’s that take a closer look at humanity and war, classical adaptations, and one’s involving angels and demons.

Spy X Family, Maximum Ride, Takane and Hana, Obey Me! The Comic, Mr Villain’s Day Off, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Les Miserables, Apothecary Diaries, Deer King, Yona of the Dawn

Mephistopheles

Mephistopheles likes books that involve history, nobility, prestigious jobs, mystery, and equestrian sports. He also enjoys one’s about demons and servants.

From the Red Fog, Derby Queen, The Elusive Samurai, Imperfect Girl, Peach Boy Riverside, The Splendid Work of the Monster Maid, Tales of the Kingdom, Tokyo Ghoul, Noragami, The Rose of Versailles

Barbatos

Barbatos prefers books that are dark and disturbing as well as insightful books on time, immortality, grief, morality vs law, etc.

Phantom Tales of the Night, My Dear Curse Casting Vampiress, A Silent Voice, Orange, Moriarty the Patriot, Nicola Traveling Around the Demon World, Royal Tutor, Usatoki Rhetoric, The Valiant Must Fall, To Your Eternity

Diavolo

Diavolo absolutely loves cute family manga, funny manga, one’s that involve demons and angels, cute romances, and exciting action and adventure. He isn’t picky and will read anything if it’s been recommended to him.

Wolf Childen, Earthian, The Devil is a Part-Timer, Seraph of the End, Mama Akuma, Little Devils, Cells at Work, Snow White With Red Hair, The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions, Azumanga Diaoh

[thankskenpenders]

One thing I find amusing about IDW Sonic is that there is a suprising amount of horror influences in the series. Sure, you have obvious stiff like the Metal Virus and Scrapnick Island, but even minor stuff like Dr. Starline literally poking into Belle's "brain", Eggman's horribly creepy testing ground, and Surge and Kit's backstory is something straight out of psychological horror. I personally love this kind of stuff, but I know it's not for everyone. How do you feel this?

I like all this stuff a lot. It's fun to lean a little more into the darker sci-fi side of the series after an era of the games that downplayed it, while still generally being tactful about it. It'd be easy to go too dark (lord knows Sonic has done this in the past), but I think they've found a really good balance where the darker elements are there to support the strong character drama.

I'm not sure how conscious of a move this was, but I think it's actually a perfect fit for the decision to lean into slightly more of a shounen manga vibe with the IDW comics. The villains and their schemes in those series tend to be pretty dark and edgy and threatening, sometimes with overt horror vibes! Orochimaru and the Akatsuki in Naruto, the League of Villains in My Hero Academia, the cursed spirits in JJK, the homunculi in FMA, the demons in Demon Slayer, etc. As an American kids' comic the Sonic villains can't go nearly as hard as Sukuna, but like, you can still have Mimic be a creepy evil shapeshifter guy with a knife, or have Starline do some really sinister mad science experiments. Even Eggman has some creepy moments, especially when Adam draws him in silhouette with that big evil grin. It's good.

[the-bloody-sadist]

in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

[lemonidae]

Coming-of-age BL Manga

Koimonogatari by Tagura Tohru

When Yuiji accidentally overhears his classmate Yamato confessing to another friend that he's gay, his perspective shifts. Seeing Yamato in a new light, Yuiji does his best not to let prejudice color his view, but he still finds himself overthinking his classmates' interactions now. He especially notices the way Yamato looks at one particular boy: Yuiji's own best friend. Even though he tells himself he shouldn't get involved, Yuiji finds he just can't help it; watching Yamato's one-sided love draws him in a way he never expected. At first, it's empathy, knowing that the boy Yamato has his sights on is definitely straight and has no idea. But as his own friendship with Yamato develops and the two of them grow closer through a mutual study group, Yuiji comes to truly care about Yamato as a person, regardless of his sexuality. He only wants Yamato to be happy, and to be able to express his true self.

Status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing)

Tagged: Drama, School Life, Slice of Life, Coming Out, Friendship, Insecurity, Unrequited Love, Romance

Kieta Hatsukoi by Hinekure Wataru

“Aoki, I didn’t know you thought about me that way.” Aoki has a crush on Hashimoto, the girl in the seat next to him in class. But he despairs when he borrows her eraser and sees she’s written the name of another boy—Ida—on it. To make matters more confusing, Ida sees Aoki holding that very eraser and thinks Aoki has a crush on him!

Status: 9 Volumes (Complete)

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, School Life, Bisexual, Misunderstanding, Romance

Hatsukoi Note by Amekiri

Shouya, a high school boy whose heart has never known romance, comes across an internet diary filled with wistful whispers of love toward the writer's same-sex crush. A photo posted to the page provides a hint as to the blog's owner: Tsubame, a fellow classmate known for being a lone wolf. Shouya realizes that his friend Ryuu is the object of the diary writer's affections, so he attempts to play matchmaker…but where will his own feelings take him in the process?

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, School Life, Yaoi, First Love, Misunderstanding

Smells Like Green Spirit by Nagai Saburou

Mishima, a student at a school in the countryside, is bullied by his classmates. The reason is because he's seemingly gay. In reality, Mishima does like guys so he doesn't resist their bullying, and instead, finds solace in secretly cross-dressing. One day on the rooftop, Mishima finds the lipstick he'd lost before in the hands of Kirino, one of the bullies… and Kirino was about to put on the lipstick that Mishima used on his own lips. This is the story of young boys looking for a place they can really be themselves…

Status: 2 Volumes (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Psychological, School Life, Coming Out of the Closet, Countryside, Cross-dressing, Enemies to Friends

CW: Attempted Rape, Bullying, Homophobia

Doukyuusei by Nakamura Asumiko

Hikaru always thought his classmate Rihito was kind of a snob, until he stumbles across Rihito secretly practicing a song in an empty classroom. Hikaru agrees to become Rihito’s music tutor, and with each lesson the two boys grow closer. But when Hikaru realizes that he’s fallen for Rihito, will they stay classmates or become something more?

Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Has multiple sequels

Tagged: Drama, Romance, School Life, First Love, Opposites Attract

Monotone Blue by Nagabe

Hachi the cat finds most things monotonous, but at the top of his list is high school and all that comes with it. But when Aoi the lizard--a quiet, high-achieving transfer student--arrives, Hachi catches a glimpse of a brighter, more colorful life. If Hachi can help Aoi open up, unlocking new feelings in the process, maybe his life won't be so bland, after all.

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Romance, School Life, Slice of Life, Anthropomorphism, Romance

Kagakubu no Megane by Arai Niboshiko

"Are you really fine with me?" "If I wasn't fine with you, I wouldn't have asked in the first place." "But isn't that the same as what we've already been doing?" "Yeah, so we can also add kissing." Two members of the chemistry club promised each other that they would go from friends to lovers at the summer’s end of their sophomore year. Akui is not quite sure what a “boyfriend” is, while Sako seems cheerful, even though he insists it’s just an experiment. The four-eyes of the chemistry club are clumsy but sincere in their first experience of experimenting with love.

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Romance, School Life, Slice of Life, First Love, Friends to Lovers

Hikyoumono da to Waratte Kure by Mitsuko

Kakeru, a socially awkward exchange student. Yuudai, who is always the center of attention. And Ryou, Yuudai's childhood friend. Under other circumstances, these three would never have gotten along, but before they knew it, they'd become a group of best friends. However, when Ryou starts dating a girl, Kakeru finds out that Yuudai harbors feelings for Ryou...

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, School Life, Love Triangle, Unrequited Love

CW: Bullying, Homophobia

Bokurano Tsuzuki by Amamiya

Yousuke and Shuu became estranged after a small accident during their childhood. Years later, due to some circumstances, Shuu moves into his grandmother’s house which is located at the shopping district where Yousuke also lived! Things were awkward at first as Yousuke tries to mend their relationship because Shuu was always so cold to him, but as Shuu begins to express his feelings more openly, Yousuke can’t help but notice the squeezing sensation in his chest!

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, School Life, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers

more manga recommendations

last edited 03/oct/2024

Recommendations are always appreciated ^^

[l-in-the-light]

Does Law hide himself and his emotions under his hat? 🤠

Yes, he does indeed. And he hides much more under his hat than just his emotions! Let's take a look:

Here, he pulls the brim of his hat lower to hide more of his face, especially eyes. It's widely speculated he was crying here or at least tearing up. I agree with that, mostly because this other scene seems to literally spell it out for us:

Look at his shirt :) Seems when Law is crying he wants to cover it up or hide somewhow, for no one to see. He's clearly not alright with being openly vulnerable, especially when it comes to showing his emotions.

If I would take a guess as to why, it's probably because crying makes him feel helpless and like there's nothing he can do (the whole Flevance wipeout and Law being unable to save anyone, not even his sister; being locked up in a chest and silenced by a spell during Cora-san's sacrifice; during both situations he cried a lot) that's why he tries to hide his face at least, to take a semblance of control, even if just to make sure the world doesn't see him crying. That being said, it's not a perfect explanation, because in his defeat on Winner Island he does not cry. So either he already accepted at that point that this will be the place where he dies (but why would he accept that, right? ;)), or my guess is wrong, welp.

It's not surprising that as the result of this habit of his we never see adult Law openly crying. Not when Mingo or Blackbeard beat up his ass, not when Luffy died in his fight with Kaido. The closest to crying is the scene with Sengoku up there, and also this one:

You can see tears forming in his eyes if you look closely.

But like I said, crying isn't the only thing Law hides. He actually doesn't express emotions much at all. Sadness, crying, honest smiles (Law's smiles is a curious subject deserving it's own study honestly lol), no expressions showing he's pleased, content etc. The only emotions he starts showing more openly is anger and worry, ever since he made that alliance with Luffy. It's not really uncommon for people with PTSD to mostly feel anger, it's kinda psychologically accurate.

He also hides his eyes under his hat when he's bluffing. Here, in raid on Onigashima, he claims he will do one of his surgery-type attacks, but two pages later he actually used Takt instead to throw huge boulders on Kaido :) part of the strategy.

His face is often obscured by his hat when he's hiding something or lying about something. "After sucking up the to the government you wouldn't screw it all up by making a mess now"... well, except that is exactly what Law was planning to do, he became a warlord just so he can waltz into the SAD room and destroy it and the story tells us this was literally the only reason why he wanted to be a warlord in the first place, lol.

Here, when he says everything is conducted "in secret to avoid naval attention", he's kinda selling Strawhats a half-lie. We know already that Doflamingo, the king of the underground, was supplying the Government with weapons. In other words, World Government knows about the underground deals, allows it and participates in them, when it suits their interests. That's also why Stussy, a CP0 agent, is also part of the underground. Morgans, our economic newspaper publisher, is also involved with underground and at the same time is cooperating with Government as well. So yeah, Government does know about those deals.

His eyes are hidden also when he takes the blame for what Luffy and Zoro did (yes, it's true he got exposed as well, but that's just the consequence of what Luffy and Zoro first did and only because he tried to cover up their tracks!).

And this "hiding eyes with his hat" trend is consistent ever since Law first appeared in the manga. In fact, already in Sabaody when he thanks Luffy for "showing him something interesting", his eyes are hidden by the shadow of his hat. We know that this is not what he's actually thanking Luffy for, he's thanking him for defending Hachi, the fishman, when people were basically saying he spreads diseases and is disgusting, and moved away from him etc. Because this reminded Law of all the hospital trips Cora-san forced him to go through as a child, and people's reactions to amber lead syndrome's symptoms.

This consistency in Law's portrayal (especially with the little trick in hiding his emotions - Oda already must have had reason for obscuring Law's eyes in this moment above, but not in any other one! And this connects to Law's backstory) is the reason why I believe Oda had planned a lot about Law ever since he introduced him, despite the fact he claims he invented Supernovas on the spot. It's just way too consistent for me to believe he had no plan for him yet.

Anyway, if you followed what I have been saying, you can already guess that in this shot, when Law declares that "he wishes he could let Luffy do whatever he wants", he's bullshitting everyone. He does not wish for that in the slightest, lol.

There are much more examples of that in the manga and even if I wished I wouldn't be able to cover them all, haha. But if any of you feel like checking it out, do it and pay attention to Law's eyes - are they hidden by the shadow of his hat? If so, you can guess he's not completely honest, is withholding information, has a secret plan set in motion, or is hiding his emotions.

At the end of Punk Hazard and at end of Wano, Law's eyes are hidden as well, which is why I know he's hiding something, I just don't know what exactly. People were suspcious already when this Wano chapter first came out and I would say for a good reason! There's really no point in hiding Law's eyes when he's talking about "North East being the most direct route" unless he had a completely different reason for choosing that direction. What could it be? Your guess is as good as mine. And of course we all know he hides his knowledge level about "man marked by flames".

Now that he lost his hat, he will be left really vulnerable. But at least his lovely ruffled hair will be unleashed to the world in it's full glory ✨

[animeyanderelover]

This is my first request so here we go! Can I get head cannons on what it’d be like to be in an OT3 relationship with both Shigure AND Akito in Fruits Basket? Like, how they met, how they established a relationship and how the tumultuous relationship evolved during the course of the anime’s plot? I know it’s gonna be SOO toxic, especially with the crap Shigure pulls, Akito being Akito, and the constant back and forth between the two, being the middle piece in their game is gonna be such a pain emotionally, physically, psychologically, any way you can think of. Also the s/o is gender neutral.

There have been some changes to the original plot of the manga to adjust this storyline better. Also, this is quite toxic but that should come to no surprise. I'm also obviously not going to remember some of the stuff that happened in the Anime so this is a shortened version.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional thoughts, clinginess, paranoia, jealousy, abuse, manipulation, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, isolation, threats, violence, sexual exploitation, hinted non-con

Tags: @flaming-vulpix

Falling in love with the same darling

🐕​⚫​From a very young age on, you have been working as a maid in the Sohma estate with your main tasks always involving catering to Akito's needs. Akira assigned you specifically for this job as you were only 2 years older than her and he wanted her to have someone around her age to befriend. Even years later you remember how you were brought to Akira and Akito, the little girl hiding behind her father's back as you walked in. Akira had been a gentle and kind but also terribly gullible man from the few memories that you have but his love for Akito had been there, even if perhaps a tad bit misguided as she was the God of the family. He beckoned Akito to step forward as he introduced you to her, telling her that from this day on you would be her new friend. You were too young back then to understand everything, otherwise you would have stopped him as he told Akito that you'd always stay with her. When the little girl, although back then you thought she was a boy, asked you with big eyes if what her father had just said was true, you didn't think about it. You only nodded enthusiastically and even if she had still seemed a tad bit apprehensive, you saw the hopeful gleam in her eyes.

🐕​⚫​Soon after being assigned to Akito who quickly latched on to you, you met Shigure. He has always been rather weird, even when he was still young. Both of you did not get along well initially, although that was mainly his fault. His feelings for Akito had already blossomed back then and her clear attachment to you elicited jealousy. Back then you had still harbored the mindset that it was your job to be Akito's best friend so you had also felt a childish envy as you saw how close both of them were. You had always been whenever Akito asked any of the Zodiac signs who had already been around at that time for any affection and you'd only realise years later why she had always done that. You had felt entitled of her and her friendship, threatened in your position and in return you grew clingy and tried everything to please her, openly expressing your jealousy. Your behavior was like fuel to flames as she desperately absorbed every affection you gave her and clung as a result only tighter to you. Her father was immensely pleased by this development, ignoring how unhealthy it already was back then and only told Akito that even those who weren't Zodiac signs would love her.

🐕​⚫​The rift between Shigure and you only grew as time passed by, both of you fighting for Akito's attention and love. And it made Akito happy. In fact whenever the words of her mother would get to her, she knew that she always had the both of you and in her growing desperation sometimes she even caused such arguments between the two of you on purpose simply to watch and realise that her mother was wrong. She was loved, even from those who were not part of the Zodiacs and sometimes she couldn't help but have the two of you argue in front of her mother as she gave her a defiant glare to show her that she was wrong. You remember the boiling jealousy when one day Akito showed you proudly the camellia that Shigure had fetched her and told you how he had confessed his love to her, her dark eyes staring at you as she wanted, needed, to see your reaction to it all. You were miffed the entire day about it and the very next moment you returned with a bouquet of flowers yourself and made sure to wait until Shigure was accompanying both of you before you handed all of the flowers to her and promised to always stay by her side. You sealed your fate on that day.

🐕​⚫​When Akira passed away due to his illness, you were there with Akito in his last moments. You weren't supposed to but Akito had demanded you to be there with her, her hand clutching yours tightly. It had made her father happy too to see both of you being so attached to each other and in his last moments he had made you promise that you'd always stay with his child and had reminded Akito one last time of her special existence that would make everyone love her. You'd been her shoulder to cry on when both of you were left alone, the tears only falling when she was only in your company. She had clutched the material of your yukata as she had begged you to not leave her like her father had just done and you had promised her once again that you would stay with her until the very end. Then Ren stormed in, furious that she hadn't been informed of Akira's death and had lashed out at Akito, screaming that she was unwanted and that everyone would leave her eventually. You can still clearly remember how you yelled back at her mother and insulted her, only fueling her hysteria. You still remember how your teeth sank into the flesh of her hand when she struck you, refusing to let go.

🐕​⚫​There were screams, the ones of ther maids but above all Akito's own hysterical screams all of a sudden when Ren tried to hurt you and you only scratched and bit her more until you could taste blood whilst your own nose was weeping with your own. It took more than a handful of other maids to separate the two of you as Ren was escorted away, still cursing at you. Akito was in that moment instantly by your side, crying and yelling as she screamed at the other maids to cater to your injuries even whilst you reassured her that you were fine. You were adviced to stay in bed for the rest of the day and Akito refused to leave your side the entire time. She sat there with you, ate her meals with you and even drew and played board games with you. You ended up with scratches all over your arms and your face, bruises and swollen lips from Ren but it made you almost proud when you heard that you had done some damage on her too. You found Akito often staring at your face, more often than she had done before, and when you asked her if she was sad about your injuries, she said something that caught you off-guard. That she felt happy. Happy because you had gotten so aggressive and hurt for her.

🐕​⚫​Her mind had been made up forever after that. She only focused on you from that day on. Whilst she was still possessive of other Zodiac signs, they became a second priority as you were from that day on her main focus. You were always kept by her side for the entire day and she even demanded you to sleep in the same room as her. Seldom did you see her mother but when you did, Akito almost appeared to show you off, even if her grip on you tightened. Ren could only glare at you silently as the physical wounds may have healed with time but her ego had been forever damaged by you. One time she approached you with a dangerous glimmer in her eyes but Akito was the one who stopped her this time. It was the first time that you really noticed how damaged Akito had become as she threatened her own mother and gloated gleefully in front of her how she had been wrong and that you loved her even whilst not being a Zodiac member as she pulled you closer to her side. Even when Shigure came over, her focus was always on you and whilst the smile on his face always stayed, you could tell from his eyes just how much you started grating his nerves.

🐕​⚫​Akito deemed you to be the person most important to her and that was something that didn't sit right with the young man. He wanted Akito for himself but you were in the way. He needed you to betray her and break her heart. If he could make Akito hate you, he could take your place. In hindsight it was truly frightening just how far Shigure had always been willing to go for Akito but you had luckily always been rather wary of him. So when he suddenly tried to befriend you, you were cautious and careful. He needed to find some weak link he could abuse, something to turn Akito against you. Unfortunately that was hard as Akito had been all you had known your life and vice versa. But perhaps that was how he could approach it. You had rarely left the Sohma estate, never had been friends with other people. Weren't you curious though? Slowly he tried to put ideas in her head, trying to fuel your curiosity to get you away from Akito. And it worked. You had grown a bit older though and even if you still treasured Akito, a feeling of loneliness had gotten to you as your freedom had been restricted to only revolve around her. When Yuki was introduced to Akito, he saw finally a good chance.

🐕​⚫​As Akito got to know Yuki better, he tempted you to go outside and leave her side more often. Shigure convinced you to even leave the estate with him as he introduced you to new people and encouraged you to get to know them better. It was strange yet also exciting to meet other children in your age range who weren't Akito and you befriended them rather quickly. You even told Akito about them excitedly, oblivious to the way she fidgeted with her fingers and bawled her hands into fists as your joy was like a stab to her heart. You wanted her to meet them yet the moment those words left your lips, she rejected your offer harshly. Upon noticing your startled expression, she quickly added that it wouldn't be wise for her to leave the Sohma estate. Her heart grew sick though as she finally learned why you hadn't spent as much time with her as you used to and when she approached Shigure in search for comfort, he used her growing heartbreak as he told her that he had seen how happy you were with your new friends. She cried in his arms, wondering what had happened as you had always been so close with her. You loved her. You had to love her.

🐕​⚫​Torments from her mother increased when she asked Akito where you were whenever she saw her, her taunts only serving to slowly break Akito further. Her temper got considerably worse and Yuki, the one who spent most time with her as she tried to take you off of her mind, got the worst of it even when she apologised afterwards to him. A part of Akito wanted to tell you desperately about it yet she didn't because she wanted you to figure it out yourself. You knew her best afterwards. So why didn't you notice how she felt? When Kureno's curse suddenly broke and Akito lost a bond that defined her existence, she was finally pushed over the edge. She feared that everyone's curse would break and that you, the one who wasn't bound to her in any way, would be the first one to leave. Shigure's own words only poisoned her young mind further. The next time she saw you, she dragged you to her room with a surprisingly tight grip on your wrist and forced you to stay there with her. There she then broke, yelling and sobbing as she grabbed your face and forced you to look at her. You had betrayed her! You had broken your promise! You promised to always stay by her side!

🐕​⚫​Never again were you allowed to go outside again after that. Akito has kept you by her side ever since that day as Shigure's plan only backfired as she has grown incredibly possessive of you. The other Zodiac signs are the only people you still see sometimes, although Akito makes sure to even reduce the contact you have with them. The bitterness of you having dared to make other friends when you always had her has festered inside of her and has never allowed her to let you get close to others. Kureno and Shigure are the ones you tend to see the most, although even then you are never left alone by her. There has been tension between Shigure and Akito for a while now too though and that is mainly because you have told her that it was Shigure who introduced you to your former friends back then. She suspects that he has tried to take you away from her and the glares and sharp words she has given him ever since are a telltale sign of her growing distrust. Shigure remains immune to her hostility though as something has seemed to change. He has always focused way too much on you as he used to despise you for stealing Akito. Hatred and love however, are two sides of the same coin.

🐕​⚫​He has grown an interest in you over the last few years and it truly doesn't do anything to better the situation. He flirts with you in front of Akito, the sight of her being possessive and jealous over you something he seems to enjoy as he doesn't mind all the insults and yells she gives him the moment she pulls you closer to your side. Both of the people he finds himself obsessed with are already basically attached to the hip and he likes seeing that. Shigure is already seeing it through that no one dares to to take Akito nor you away from him and one of the reasons why Akito still allows his presence so close to yours is because he is a mole. If he even suspects in the slightest that someone is interested in you, Akito is always the first to find out. Most of the time she sees it through herself to send such a person to her mansion and remind them violently that you belong to only her. In rare cases where the person in picture is someone who isn't part of the Sohma estate, Shigure promises her to ensure that they learn their lesson. After all you belong to Akito.

🐕​⚫​Whilst Akito uses violence, intimidation and emotional guilt-tripping to force you to stay with her, Shigure leans much more in the manipulative spectrum of things. Whilst he has yet to claim both Akito and you for himself, he knows that it would be the best scenario if he sees it through that you stay by Akito's side. Not only because Akito will keep you nice and isolated but because he can use both of you against each other to draw out advantages for himself. He can have Akito running to him and begging him for comfort and help whenever he manipulates things enough to give her easily paranoid mind the impression that you think about leaving her for someone else and can be your pillar of comfort when Akito's antics threaten to break you once again. Your heart feels like it is constantly bruised and beaten yet attachment and pity are cursed chains that keeps you by Akito's side. As violent and terrible as she is, she still has you and she thinks often that she really only has you. Shigure murmurs those words into your ears when you are hidden in his arms, abusing your pity to convince you to return to Akito which in return does earn him Akito's grudgingly gratitude.

🐕​⚫​Then the singular worst thing happens to you and it changes things for all three of you. First it happens with Akito who has grown into a woman who has to pretend like she is a man. She has needs, needs that need to be satiated but she only wants one person to cater to her most private needs. She wants you to take care of her. You've always taken care of her after all. She is needy and desperate for sexual affection but at the same time remains highly demanding as she forces the sexual relationship on you and thus reveals to you that she is a woman, a secret she has kept from you for years but now doesn't care to keep it hidden from you anymore. It messes with your mind as you are unable to deny her requests, the shackles of guilt and fear forever around your heart from that day on. You confide in the only person you see besides Akito and it only leads to your second downfall as you entrust Shigure with the news. He soothes you, coaxes the tears out of your eyes whilst comforting you yet there is a jealous gleam in his eyes. It truly is rather disgusting of him to feel that way, especially since he should be relieved that you lost your virginity to Akito and she hers to you.

🐕​⚫​His mind works in dark and twisted ways though as he feels like he has been robbed of something he would have loved to claim for himself. He can't help but wonder from that day on how you would look beneath him and soon his desire spurts him on to do something perhaps even more terrible. On a particular night where you are especially vulnerable he convinces you to have a few drinks with him as he keeps on filling your glass whilst you babble about your feelings and emotions until you are completely drunk. You only remember faintly sweet words coaxing you to his room, hands undressing you and lips traveling across your body and dark eyes expressing his weird co-existence of envy and pleasure that it was Akito who claimed your body first. You are awoken the next day by other maids who knock against the door of his house and inform the both of you that Akito has demanded for both of you to appear. Your heart drops as you look with panic in your eyes at Shigure who only gives you a grin as if he doesn't care about what he has done to you. Akito is weirdly silent at first when both of you arrive but the tension threatens to suffocate you.

🐕​⚫​She slowly approaches you, her eyes roaming over your body. The moment she demands you to kneel, your body reacts instinctively as you kneel down and look with fearful eyes at her. Hands caress your hair for a few seconds before she grabs a fistful of it and yanks your head up, screaming at you. Tears and snot drip down your face as she insults you, shames you and reminds you that your only worth is serving her. The one task you were assigned to yet have failed miserably. Your eyes silently beg Shigure to help you as he has gotten you into this mess yet he just idly watches and you feel sick to your stomach when you realise that he won't help you. You are thrown around, slapped across the face and yelled at for minutes before he finally speaks up and carefully advises that Akito should take it easier on you since you are on the verge of a panic attack. That is when she snaps her attention to him and you can only watch through sobs and tears as he receives the same treatment. Your throat feels like it is closing, you feel like you can't breathe and your whole body starts trembling uncontrollably as you witness how she banishes him from the Sohma estate.

🐕​⚫​Things are never the same again. It all has broken with no chance to fix the damage that has been inflicted. A small part of you still loves Akito but everything has been tarnished and stained by all-consuming fear. You flinch when she tries to touch you, your mind letting you see the maniacal gleam in her eyes on the day she found out that you had slept with Shigure and are constantly on edge as you have to endure every single day with her. There is no thing called privacy anymore as she has deemed you as someone she can't trust anymore. You sleep in the same room as her from now on, often she demands you to share even the same bed with her, and even showers are taken together. She doesn't take well to the fear you feel for her. She either reacts violently, desperately or just leaves you whilst muttering insults. Often it is all three in a random order. Emotionally you are already broken but even physically Akito tends to get so blinded with rage that she strikes you or throws something after you only to yell for her maids the next moment when she realises what she has done. Sometimes she tries to clean and bandage your wounds herself, her touches rough and her hands trembling slightly.

🐕​⚫​Most of the time you spend just silently accompanying you as you start changing. You don't care anymore about others and don't try to speak up for them. When Kana and Hatori ask Akito for her allowance for both of them to marry, you don't interfere when she flips out and hurts Hatori. Instead you wait for her to calm down herself, grasping her hand the moment she returns to your side and demands for your support and affection. You know by now how it goes. After every outburst of hers she will drag you to her room where you spend an hour or two giving her affection and helping her to calm down before she regains her composure again. You seek Hatori out later and apologise to him though, although he doesn't hold it against you. You haven't seen Shigure since he was banished but you have overheard some maids mentioning that he has sent you letters. Letters, which never made it past Akito who ripped all of them apart but you know that he would be smart enough to know that and probably only sends them to rile her up. You'll never forgive Shigure though for using your drunken state against you and for messing with your vulerability like this.

🐕​⚫​Your heart is in your throat when Shigure one day appears again and gives you a wave as if he has done nothing wrong. He's here to ask Akito if a girl named Tohru could live with them and to your surprise Akito agrees to it. Her grip on you is tight as she glares at Shigure throughout the entire conversation as his eyes never leave your form, almost relishing in the way cold sweat appears on your skin as you are once again exposed to being in the same room as both of them. He tells you with a smile that doesn't look sincere to you that you should visit them and meet Tohru since she is such a lovely girl. Akito has started shaking next to you and you can only clutch her hands tighter in silent hopes that she'll keep it in as she growls at him to leave now. A last warning and for a few dangerous seconds it looks like he considers making her snap before he seems to decide for the better and bids both of you goodbye, reminding you one last time of his offer. It is yet another bait he has been given as Shigure silently counts on the fact that Tohru's presence might help him to get closer to both Akito and you again, even if he has to kindle Akito's doubt and jealousy.

🐕​⚫​Akito brings her with you when she visits Tohru's school to meet the girl herself and brings you along. You keep your gaze low for the most part of the meeting as you know better than to give Akito any reason to be triggered. That is at least until the girl calls you out herself, her voice concerned and her eyes sincere as she asks you if you're feeling well. Kindness. Real kindness that almost has you tearing up before you feel Akito's hand grasping your wrist and squeezing it dangerously as she tilts her head and tells Tohru that everything is fine with you, forcing you to repeat her words as her grip on your wrist is a dangerous reminder. You're rather surprised when you see Yuki again and he shares the sentiment as he tries to rescue her before she starts taunting him. The moment Tohru pushes Akito away to stop her verbal torment though, you instinctively reach out to catch her, although Tohru was gentle when pushing her. Akito is rather pleased by your gesture as she tells you later in the car when you are sandwiched between Shigure and her, your heart racing dangerously in your chest as the two people who have hurt you the most are both sitting next to you yet you con only swallow your tears.

🐕​⚫​When the Sohmas enjoy their vacation during the summer, Shigure makes another move yet again as he convinces Akito to join them. Kureno and you accompany her. You do nothing as she torments the other Sohmas because you know that you would only make things worse for yourself and them. The entire time that Akito and you spend there, Shigure subtly tries to manage to get you for himself. He offers to show you around the house he's staying in and to give you a brief tour of the area. Akito denies you everything though unless she is with you and if no one else is around. It is quite obvious that she doesn't want Shigure and you to be left alone as she fears that both of you would betray her once again. Realising that, he still remains by your side like a leech as he decides to use the chance to the best of his abilities. You can't help but think that he's provoking Akito on purpose though when he asks how the both of you have been doing and aren't allowed to say anything as Akito answers all questions for you or simply forces you to produce the answer you know will please her. Shortly before both of you have to leave again, she meets Tohru and declares her status to her.

🐕​⚫​For some reason Shigure worms his way back inside the Sohma estate despite having been banned. The way he looks at you makes his skin crawl and his words, even if carefully veiled to hide their intentions, hit their target as he forces you out of your numb shell and gets you to express some emotions around him despite your attempts to ignore him. He doesn't really mind if you hate him. He just won't allow you to ignore and forget about him and if he has to torment you to do that, he will gladly do so. Occasionally he brings Akito and you some presents though, although his intentions are unclear. You think you fear him more than Akito in such moments where he hands you a bouquet of flowers because you have known Akito long enough to predict her somewhat even despite her impulsive temper. Shigure on the other hand has always shrouded himself in mystery and has never made his intentions obvious. You feel like you're walking on eggshells when he is around and the man knows about your feelings. He can't say that he hates it though as he finds odd enjoyment to see you so skittish around him. At least it means that he has an impact on your thoughts after all.

🐕​⚫​Slowly the curse of every member breaks though and the more it happens, the more do you find Akito growing more unstable. She grows even more hysterical until you feel like you can't breathe in her presence anymore. She runs away after having stabbed Kureno in the back as she reaches the peak of her instability and you do not follow her as you instead call an ambulance. You instead wait for her as you don't dare to leave the estate without her specific order. You aren't overly familiar with the city outside either as you have been very sheltered and would probably get lost outside if you were to run after her. It's Shigure who brings her back and the moment she sees you, she nearly causes you to topple when she throws herself at you, sobbing into your chest. Shigure is ushered away by the other maids as you find yourself in the familiar position of comforting her again. Only that this time is different. She confesses to you what had occured after she had run away, about Tohru and how she fell down the cliff before she asks you a question that makes your heart stop. Do you hate her for everything she has done?

🐕​⚫​You are unable to give her an answer to that question and expect her to lash out but that doesn't happen. Instead she almost seems to reflect on herself when she notes your inability to give her an answer. She requests of you if you'd like to come with her when visiting Tohru, afraid and unused to go anywhere without you yet not directly forcing you. Ultimately you decide to come with her as both of you visit Tohru who offers her friendship to the both of you and after that both of you visit Kureno who forgives her when she apologises to him. She seems to try to better herself but you know that it must be hard for her. Both of you have one way or another grown dependent on each other as she doesn't really know what to do without you and you essentially feel the same. She feels uneasy and anxious if she doesn't have you within her sight and you don't know what to do with your life either if you don't have her with you for a certain period of time. That is when Shigure finally decides to step back. Initial tension soon leads to both of them confessing their feelings for each other which then finally leads Shigure back to both people he has been wanting for essentially his entire life.

🐕��⚫​Akito isn't used to sharing and even if she does her best to mend her ways, old habits die hardly. She struggles to split your time, time she has been having years for herself. Especially since you do not want to be left alone with Shigure as the encounter from years ago is still very fresh in your mind and you prefer the devil you know over the devil you don't. Shigure doesn't respect your boundaries though as he constantly invades your privacy and follows you around. He has been waiting years for the moment where Akito would finally let him back and he plans to use every single chance to be with the both of you. It isn't like he doesn't know that he has traumatised both you and Akito but this is his own way of expressing his twisted feelings for you. He corners you, trails behind you and uses every chance to have a few moments alone with you. One time you snap at him and ask him through tears if he has no shame or guilt for what he has done. He confesses to you in that moment that he is fully aware of his wrongdoings and admits to being a terrible person but also tells you that he doesn't really regret anything he has done. It is a horrifying revelation that has your stomach churning.

🐕​⚫​At the same time Shigure clarifies though that he doesn't expect you to forgive him for what he has done to you and Akito. Knowing that both of you are now his is enough for him. Things don't really get better for you even if Akito is now attempting to be a better person. She has allowed Shigure back in her life and since both of you are still learning to get rid of the mutual separation anxiety which will probably never fully go away, you also find yourself stuck with Shigure. With his desires finally fulfilled, he may be less inclined to be a fulltime jerk but Shigure is still a terrible person who fully embraces his wickedness. His goal now is to ensure that you do not leave him because you don't feel the same way Akito feels about him. You love Akito though and wouldn't leave her side, especially since he knows how much both of you struggle to exist without the other. And he uses that to his advantage as he doesn't plan to assist in getting rid of the separation anxiety both of you have. There's nothing wrong with remaining attached after all. So even if Akito works on herself to be a better person, the relationship remains strained and toxic, especially with Shigure who will step low to keep you by their side.

[jarimaa]

hey, i was just wondering what are your thoughts on the final chapter of jjk…

The End

This is gonna be a little detailed. I am gonna first give a short answer and what I liked and disliked, then a little more detailed one. This is about ending as a whole.

I remember I did quite some research during my college time on post modernism and existentialism because i had to write an essay (it isn't about that) but I will be referring to what I researched here and there, when put forth my points.

Short answer- I am content with the ending. I am also surprised since this is the first time gege wrote a full manga for the first time, but he still managed to give an ending better than most. And any gripe that still remains, I will not hold it against the author cause the story and characters aren't real, Gege is.

Yuji, Sukuna, and Gojo's character have some of the best conclusions within the story (unpopular opinion probably 😮‍💨). The way they were written and the consistency with regards to their characterization was amazing.

As for what I am conflicted about, well, it's Megumi's character. I don't know how to say it, I liked it his conclusion, but I wish there was more introspection to how he reached there. But alternatively, I talked with a moot of mine, and they think the lack of introspection from Megumi is quite in-character. He decided to live for others once again (i.e., he didn't address his problems at all) and he is finding peace and comfort in the cage he is stuck at, it's such simple decision from his part, cause he is very clueless about his own psychology, and this is the beauty of it, that we as readers know what caused him to make that decision-according to my moot. I highlighted this one, cause this interpretation stood out the most. I also talked with other people, who seem to hold dislike for the lack of introspection from Megumi's end. While I am still conflicted, maybe I will address in some other posts or not at all, idk, but right now, I haven't formed my opinion on it. But I am satisfied, to say the least, conclusion itself isn't bad for me.

Detail:-

I like that it's more about evolving and coexistence rather than breaking the cycle or one conclusive solution. Regardless of Sukuna's or Yuji's existence, the curses will always continue to exist. It's humans' negative emotions that create curses in the first place. If the negative emotions of humans can't cease to exist, then curses won't either. Jujutsu Kaisen in a way rejects the idea that life can just have a start, middle, and end, or that one single truth/solution can provide closure. Maybe things can get worse in the future, maybe things can get better, that's up to you to decide, in that particular sense, it's open-ended.

You may ask what was even the point then? Well, let me offer a perspective, although it's just my interpretation, you don't have to agree to it...

When characters within a story accept a belief, perspective, or solution as the only truth, it can lead to their failure, especially if that belief oversimplifies a complex reality. But, one character who comes to understand the complexity can find a way to coexist with the chaos or ambiguity, though not necessarily "fixing" things.

In narratives such as these, the answer isn’t just a rejection of truth but a recognition of multiplicity, the presence of multiple perspectives, interpretations, or meanings within a single work or the idea that one truth or solution cannot account for the full stretch of experience. The character who realises the absence of a single "fix" often ends up navigating the challenges in a more nuanced way. They may not succeed in traditional terms, but they endure by accepting life’s complexity.

Many characters within JJK try to find some single "fix" to the system or the problem of curses and cursed energy and each of them had very flawed solution which we see failing--Yuki/Kenjaku/Geto were all extremists in that sense, one of my friend mentioned this in twt, Yuki wanted to completely break away from CE but also she didn't have any concrete plan, and Kenjaku who wanted to optimise it, but never really knew what merger could do, himself. Even Geto knew that killing all non-sorcorers is not possible.

Sukuna/Gojo-- both their ideals were extremely flawed. Many people have written amazing analysis on this, so i won't go in detail. But we see in the story how strength was the reason for both their solitude and which led them to path of their own death. But Sukuna perfected what Gojo didn't, sukuna completely threw away his humanity and was content living as a curse. A hollow human, who only ever cares about strength, he deemed love worthless, like Gojo deemed love to be the most twisted curse. However, gojo still wanted connections at the end of the day, and this kept him a little more humane than sukuna, who became a monster who clung to life wanting to stay at the pinnacle.

I liked that in the end Gojo realised that Yuji and other should follow their own path rather than just following his goals (although he would've like that) and I am glad they didn't follow his footsteps.

This conversation between sukuna and mahito just added so much to their characters.

Sukuna is the man who perfected his ego. He discarded his humanity till his last breath. Sukuna says he was an unwanted child (maybe cause he ate his twin in his mothers womb, someone on twt pointed out that this is similar to biological condition called "fetus in fetu") and he internalised this all and lived his whole life as a curse, only ever caring about his pleasures and displeasure and being the pinnacle. But even a perfected ego gets humbled in death, and the same happened with him. He acknowledges that he could have taken a different route, and if there is a next time, it would be nice to walk on a different path. Beautiful, honestly.

Now, Mahito is the literal manifestation of humans' hatred for others. He is a true curse, and he wasn't able to reconcile with his humanity after death because, unlike sukuna, he has none, he is not human. He is the manifestation of the same cycle of human hatred, he didn't change, he is the only one left sulking like a child. As I mentioned before, if the negative emotions of humans can't cease to exist, then curses like mahito won't either.

You could then say - well, then nothing changed?

I mean, is it really nothing? Tengen is no more, and this is the curse user Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara caught, and what happened to him?

Earlier, he probably would have been executed, but now Yuji offered him a chance to change.

Yuji turns out to be the person who learns to coexist. He is, for me, the best written character within the story with the best conclusion.

Now, let's just say that doesn't mean anything, nothing changed at all, there was no point...

However, the idea that "nothing changed" often misses the deeper layers of such narratives, which are less about external change and more about internal realizations, the acceptance of ambiguity and even the rejection of simplistic resolutions.

The "point" is not necessarily achieving change or a clear resolution, but rather witnessing the struggle itself. How characters navigate or accept a chaotic/indifferent universe.

There are two examples I can think of, first one being, Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus", Sisyphus endlessly pushes a boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back down, its completely futile, yet the "point" is his perseverance. The second one is "Waiting for Godot" by Beckett, nothing really appears to happen in the story, and characters seem stuck in a cycle of waiting for this supposed person calles Gadot. However, the "point" is in the waiting itself. It's a reflection on the human condition, the search for meaning, and how we deal with uncertainty and the passage of time.

Thus, the point of such narratives is not in "what changed" but how we live with things not changing, how we adapt, or re-contextualise meaning of things when the world resists easy solutions or "fix its". It's reflectimg on the messiness of real life, where change is often slow, subtle, or non-existent, and simple answers are rarely seen.

So it's up to you to decide what you wanna make of this ending. Personally, I am very, very content.

(Again, this is my interpretation, I could be completely off charts, and I don't mind, maybe I will change my mind after thinking about it again, or maybe not, but one thing remains, that I throughly enjoyed all 4 years I was reading this manga. Peace✌️)

[piracytheorist]

Twilight Eyes Project: "The Target's Second Son" (part 1)

Previous episodes analyses

The anime starts the episode with an added scene of Twilight narrating the events of the previous day. He's alone, cooking breakfast in the kitchen and focusing on not losing hope for the mission, so Twilight eyes.

Then, disaster happens: he smudges the ketchup on one of the omelettes!

Seriously though, things like those can be the cherry on top. But that's the moment that he tells himself to keep his head up.

After the opening credits, the anime continues from where the manga chapter starts. Yor wakes up and Loid greets her and offers her breakfast. We get pleasant Loid eyes in the manga, and while we don't see them in the anime, he puts on his Loid voice there.

His eyes narrow however, right to Twilight eyes in the anime, as he notices Anya was hesitating getting to the table.

While still with "Twilight eyes", they soften up a bit as he thinks that Anya's hesitance is due to her guilt for causing a mess.

Again, props to Endo for his ability to show expressions through those eyes. It can't be easy.

Eyes widen back up when he tells her he won't get mad at her. It's not over-willing "Loid eyes", however. He keeps his face calm, but direct. He wants to pass the message to her to not get into more fights (especially with Damian, the son of his target), but he has to do it gently enough so she won't be discouraged and bitter.

Through his inner thoughts we find out that what he tells Anya fits with his work ethic: there is no point beating yourself up for past mistakes, instead you should focus on what you can do now to fix the mistake you made.

As "Loid Forger" here, he has to appear serious to give focus on how important the matter is, but he's not outright strict or curt.

Definitely a growth from the guy who dryly joked to himself about interrogating a child a few hours after adopting her. He's adapting his methods to give Anya the motivation to apologize to Damian, in an effort of saving the possibility of Plan B.

Little does he know, Anya is very aware of all his plans and he wouldn't actually need to worry about how to encourage her. She's already all in.

So, it's still "direct" Loid eyes as he tells her to apologize to Damian and to be a good girl at school.

Then, it's straight to Twilight eyes after the school bus leaves.

Once again, dealing with the psychology of children is not his strong suit, so when Becky interferes with Anya's first attempt at an apology, he loses his cool.

But then, being the Perfect Spy™ he is, he pulls himself together.

And just like the end of the previous episode, this "holding back" he does will come around.

He continues with "Twilight eyes" as he watches over Anya and does his best and most wacky efforts in trying to pass on his message.

Again, it's funny how he didn't need all the theatrics aside from one moment of him accidentally reminding her with his thoughts that she should apologize.

It will be so funny if post-reveals all those times both he and Yor were going to great lengths to not reveal their plans are actually mentioned as how pointless they were.

Becky thwarts the apology plan for the third time and Twilight has another near outburst.

But, you guessed it; once again, he pulls that back.

Keep it together, focus on your mission, emotions what emotions.

He devises a plan to keep Becky preoccupied and away from Anya, and Anya gets her chance to apologize. He watches with Twilight eyes...

and while they stay narrowed, his brows curve upward and a freaking blush appears on his cheek as he thinks about how well she did.

Methinks he's a little proud of her... is it humility or manipulation he thinks she's equipping here? Does he realize how much Anya didn't want to apologize (which would make all the crying and sobbing a manipulation tactic, his very own expertise), or does he think she's genuinely regretting punching Damian? Is it a "look how good of a liar she is!" or is it a "look how humble she is!"?

I mean, this isn't just relief and satisfaction that this looks like a step forward for Plan B. The guy genuinely blushes. I also wonder what the finger under his nose is supposed to depict.

If I judged only by the manga panel... I could kinda say he is pointing at Anya, in a "look at my girl!" kind of way. But in the anime he rubs his finger under his nose. Is he trying to hide, in a way? I have no idea 😆

But, as usual for this family, things don't go according to plan. Damian rejects Anya's apology and runs off screaming that he'll never forgive her.

And just like the previous instance, all of Twilight's stress comes crashing down on him after he spent the entire morning trying to suppress that very feeling.

I realize this has nothing to do with the reason I started these posts for - commenting on the different ways Twilight's eyes are drawn and what that says about his character. But it's the kind of analysis that arises from noticing his expressions, and you know I love me some analysis :D

(continued in part 2)

(no manga spoilers please)

[satosugusandwich]

!!manga spoilers!!

Satoru doesn’t date but when he finally finds somebody, he wants to stick with them forever. In his teen years, he wanted to be the guy that gets with a lot of girls but after Suguru he just could never do it. Abandonment issues to the max.

But if Satoru ends up with someone he truly loves and still lives as a jujutsu sorcerer, he likely will do everything to push back his feelings out of fear he’ll hurt them by dying someday or that they’ll just eventually leave him.

Hopefully, after he comes back (I’m assuming his power is nerfed now cuz of binding vows and there’s no way he’s actually dead anyways he would not die bffr) we get to see him really tackle these issues. Satoru is someone that could really give and give and give to his partner until he has nothing left. If he actually goes on with loving somebody he’s bound to them by the hip. He has a lot of trauma but all that trauma is only cuz of how deeply he feels the love that he feels.

This originally started as a “gojo dates to marry” but it turned into me thinking about his psychology. He’s such a baby I love him and want him to be loved so badlyyyyyy. He deserves to find people who don’t just value him for his looks and his strength.

I just know that he’s definitely that kind of husband that never stops talking about their partner. His Lock Screen and Home Screen are different photos of them, he has photo albums dedicated to them, he’s buys them elaborate gifts, but then decides to not buy things and makes them instead because that’s just more special. If he ever gets comfortable expressing his feelings, he says I love you all the damn time. But especially during sex, he’s over here cumming and telling you how much he loves you. Satoru is the kind of guy to really be super obsessed with his love and I think that’s so cute.

[kerubimcrepin]

ANALYSIS: Joris Jurgen, Mage-Slayer, Bearer of Grougalorasalar's Black Fire.

For quite a while I had wanted to make this post, concentrating my personal pet theory/something I noticed, but as of recently, it has been made especially relevant with to the role Grougalorasalar, as well as the Jurgen-Crepin family, may play in the manga.

This post touches on the following topic: Joris is probably mostly/fully incapable of using magic due to Grougalorasalar's possession, and there may be other consequences too, for his psychology.

"At the time of the Dofus film, we saw [Joris] as a mage-killer. Someone who does not practice magic, nor is attuned to it."

Note: Some parts of this were already proven true (or true-in-the-past-but-now-reconned) by this tweet, but I would like to go more in depth, and talk about why Joris is not practising or attuned to magic.

Black Fire, Stasis, and Dragons:

The magic of the world is based upon the Quadramental Breeze (the elements of Fire, Water, Earth, and Wind), Black Fire (Stasis, energy of destruction), and White Fire (Wakfu, energy of creation).

All of these forces originate from the three dragons of Osamodas: the elemental dragon Spiritia, the white fire dragon Helioboros, and the black fire dragon Ouronigride.

The descendants of Spiritia became the four elemental primordial dragons.

Dofus MMO Book "Dragon Era - Found Fragments III"

Ouronigride had three descendants, of whom only two are extremely relevant to this post: Grougalorasalar (ebony dofus), and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, who refused a physical body, and therefore, remained without one, unlike all the other dragons.

Helioboros had three descendants, two of whom are important to keep in mind: Dardondakal (ivory dofus, his guardians used to be Joris, as well as Leorictus Sheran-Sharm), and Croulakrakoss, a dragon that has a history with Grougalorasalar.

Possession & violence:

"Young Lukruh… You don't know that I'm watching over you… From the shadows!"

Joris is not the first person in the history of the World of Twelve to be possessed by a Black Fire dragon — albeit his possession was less planned, and ended far less tragically for him.

While Grougalorasalar only resorted to possessing a body and mind that would not resist him, in order to save his own life — his sibling, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, had always yearned to possess and overtake, and for that end, he chose a man named Lukruh.

"Go ahead! Set them on fire! Oh yes! Lukruh! Your hatred gave the two of us wings! Keep going, and then nothing will stand in our way!"

He spent a long time slowly weakening his defences to overtake his body and mind (the downside of possessing someone who is not a newborn, and actually has a free will and a mind to overwrite, I suppose), and fed on his anger, at some point even giving him wings.

Feeding on anger to increase control over the body, something isn't unique to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

It is unknown whether possession is something only Black Fire dragons are capable of, but we do know the dire consequences it has for the possessed — because Joris has opinions on this story, and he voices in the Dofus MMO questline for the Ivory dofus.

During the first Crimson Dawn, he took the life of Dardondakal, and some time after, died himself. What really happened is murky (perhaps in part because this is not my lore area of expertise), but we know that Hyrkul ended up as an undead lich, before being abandoned by the dragon.

Joris explains that:

1. Dragons of black fire are not evil, but merely drawn to destruction. While I personally believe him, the fact that he mentions this immediately and unprompted may point to this being an insecurity of his.

2. The He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named kept Hyrkul alive, or turned him into a lich, using black magic. Then, in response to being asked whether it is possible that Hyrkul could have recovered his free will, Joris says the following:

This implies that 1. Joris views the condition of being possessed as one you can't recover from, and 2. that he still does not entirely possess a free will of his own. His mind has forever been tainted by/muddled with Grougalorasalar's, and that is simply not something that can be changed or healed from.

...Perhaps Black Fire stirs his thoughts too. No wonder he would mention this not being an evil thing, then.

(To be honest, one of my own darker thoughts on this topic is that Joris as we know him has been possessed since infancy, so if Grougalorasalar overwrote his brain fully with his own personality without any memories, we'd just never know. Though, considering there wasn't really a personality to overwrite, it's a bit of a chicken-and-egg dilemma. Sorry for becoming a conspiracy theorist for a sec.)

Joris also elaborates further on their relationship in the Ebony dofus questline:

This reveals multiple things:

Joris may be implying that he and Grougalorasalar did not part on good terms.

The alternate explanation for his words here, is that Joris knows what Grougalorasalar feels due to his influence over his psyche — meaning that he also neither forgives nor forgets. While it is a fun possibility that fits in with the rest of the post, I am inclined to believe that the shorter and easier explanation for his words is the one meant by the developers. Occam's razor.

The conflict that led to their separation was based in their world-view and morals — but here Joris says something that is very interesting:

The thing about possession, is that it affects both parties, whether they like it or not.

(Imagine two pieces of clay. Imagine pushing them together, and then tearing them apart. There would still be a bit of colour from the other piece of clay, on both of them, you know? I suppose it works the same way with souls.)

Whatever their relationship used to be, Grougalorasalar no longer respects Joris's opinions. Joris still seems to feel protective of the Ebony Dofus — even if he couldn't fulfil his promise of keeping it safe forever.

Joris the Powerless:

The Black Fire eats away at all magic and life, like rust; and rules the thoughts and impulses of those affected by it, like hunger.

But it's not an evil energy — merely the yin to Wakfu's yang. It destroys without a malicious intent.

Even if we've seen the consequences that an abundance of it has, in season 4 of Wakfu...

*relevant parts of the quotes are marked with a red tint

It is not a secret that Joris was first conceptualized to be a character who had no innate powers of his own — instead drawing them from his magic wand/hand-held tree stump. (Well, the first idea was a warrior with a woman's voice, but Xa disregarded that brief and made up a whole new guy...)

It was the idea they had during the making of Wakfu season 1 — which is why he always held his magic wand back then — and it was the idea they had during the development of the cancelled spin-off game "Joris the Powerless".

It is also why he has seldom been shown with the tree stump afterwards — it has lost its relevance to his character outside of being his preferred weapon.

The reason I bring it up is that, while ideas change — when something is so integral to a character that you almost name a game after it, even multiple rewrites may not get rid of an idea entirely.

If black magic is a hunger that corrodes other magic, then wouldn't it make sense, if Joris could not use magic to begin with?

His situation is far different from Julith, who used black magic to try and resurrect Jahash. Black Fire is a part of Joris the same way it is a part of Black Fire Dragons, — it's not just a tool to him.

...Though, he does make use of it.

All of this together would explain why Joris was envisioned, and could still turn out to be, someone who neither practices nor is attuned to magic, and how the idea of him being a powerless individual may have evolved.

It is important to note, that while I think he is mostly incapable of magic, he can probably still preform simple spells:

Joris is shown using some type of magic in the Wakfu series, though we don't know what sort of magic it is, and what is its source.

And, this is a bit more shaky, but he may be shown using some sort of electricity magic in Dofus MMO's battles — to enhance his mobility/melee attacks. The only reason I am unsure is that it could just be game-specific animations, to make the fight more interesting.

Either way it would make sense — Black Fire Dragons are living beings attuned to Stasis, but they are not devoid of Wakfu, (if they were, they would either be dead or necromes...) and Joris is simply an individual whose body was warped — capabilities for branching out into other types of magic could be limited, instead of being gone.

From possession to possessiveness:

While the main point of this post was to analyse the fact that the possession probably affected his magical capabilities, it is also important to note, that I don't think his psychology was untouched.

We have multiple sources claiming that dragons are, in general, emotionally unstable, as well as textual evidence of said fact (via Arty's Burning of Bonta, which is mentioned by Qilby; Grougalorasalar's... Grougalorasalarness, as well as Adamai's many crises.)

As well as an interesting quote by Qilby, in regard to Grougaloragran. But it comes with a preface:

While we don't know whether the vocabulary of "white fire/black fire" applies to the Eliatropes, it is important to consider this:

It was said by Tot that six dofus are required to create a world.

The appearance of a new primordial black fire dragon (Rotalström) in the necroworld could signify that having six primordial dragons for the four elements, as well as stasis and wakfu, is a constant between various worlds.

According to Tot, Rotalström was the last dragon defeated by Toross. Could it be that Primordial black fire dragons play an important role in keeping the world safe? And is this why Grougalorasalar is very active in the new manga?

This would probably make Grougaloragran a black fire dragon. It would also explain why he is both impulsive, and very keen on self-control and trying to be a kind person. But this isn't outright canon — just my speculation.

(It would also explain why Adamai knows how to use stasis magic at such a young age, having been raised by him.)

Which brings me to this point: it is interesting to think about the way Grougaloragran craves violence and destruction as a baby (cute), and how this quote about impulsiveness and jealousy also fits Grougalorasalar:

Many people may not know it, but there is a lot of lore pertaining to Grougalorasalar in the Dofus MMO — and especially to his child, Crocoburio.

Crocoburio and Grougalorasalar tried to devastate and control the lands, slaughtering countless people, and Grougalorasalar was madly obsessed with his offspring: whispering him advice in the dark, supporting him every step of the way, giving him enchanted items.

These aren't necessarily normal behaviours for a dragon — but his son was so much like him, that it bewitched him for centuries, even after he was gone.

The quests in the MMO involve Grougalorasalar wanting to ressurect his offspring, even if it damages Crocoburio's soul irreparably — and the player trying to ressurect Crocoburio without hurting him, to use as a bargaining chip.

What I am saying is that:

Joris is a very impulsive person, a misantrope prone to poor decision making, involving himself in situations that don't concern him, and anger issues. He is also obsessed with his family — his so called "sons" (they aren't, but the three of them love playing pretend).

And maybe it's just how he was born — but maybe, just maybe, this too, is something that can be in some way traced to Grougalorasalar.

But maybe Joris also relishes in having posessive control over Kerubim and Atcham. Maybe he also hates everyone else besides them, and barely tolerates some people outside the family unit, with his brief friendships with others. Maybe its just like Grougalorasalar, and his love for Crocoburio.

[devildomwriter]

Ten Manga I Think They’d Enjoy #2

Lucifer

He likes manga that reads like classic literature, dark stories, mysteries, psychological stories, and occasionally something sweet or cute

Children of the Whales, Mujirushi, PTSD Radio, Requiem of the Rose King, Shadows House, The Summer Hikaru Died, Togue Oni: Primal Gods in Ancient Times, Gachiakuta, Your Lie in April, Drops of God

Mammon

He likes stories involving his personal hobbies like working on cars, gambling, etc. he also enjoys funny stories and secretly cute romances or relatable romances

Play it Cool Guys, Bleach, Chibi Vampire, Daily Lives of High School Boys, Fire Force, I Belong to the Baddest Girl at School, I’m a Wolf But My Boss is a Sheep, My Monster Secret, Skip and Loafer, The Muscle Girl Next Door

Leviathan

Leviathan loves everything but he’s especially a fan of gaming manga, magical girls, monster girls, isekai, and the classics

A Centaur’s Life, Jobless Reincarnation, Yashahime Princess Half-Demon, If Witch Then Which, Banished From the Hero’s Party I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Country Side, My Clueless First Friend, Far-away Paladin, Geek Ex-Hitman, If the RPG World Had Social Media, Komi Can’t Communicate

Satan

Satan loves manga that reads like classical literature but he also loves stories about cats, dark mysteries, psychological stories and ones with characters he finds relatable

Case Study of Vanitas, Cat + Gamer, XXXHolic, Haunted Bookstore, Skull-Face Bookseller Honda-San, Vampire Library, Heavenly Delusion, I’m the Catlord’s Manservant, Infernal Devices, Library Wars

Asmodeus

Asmodeus mostly enjoys romance whether it’s cute and fluffy or extremely erotic

Nana to Kaoru, We Can’t Do Just Plain Love, We Started a Threesome, I Want You to Make Me Beautiful, In to the Tentacle Cave, Who Wants to Marry a Billionaire, Training Mr Sakurada, My Androgynous Boyfriend, Birds of Shangri-La, Interspecies Reviewers

Beelzebub

Beelzebub is a big fan of manga involving food but he also enjoys a good action adventure and sports manga

Crazy Food Truck, My Deer Friend Nokotan, One Punch Man, Restaurant to Another World, Let’s Eat Together Aki and Haru, How to Grill Our Love, Giant Spider and Me, Hajime no Ippo, How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift?, Plus Sized Elf

Belphegor

Belphegor likes stories with relatable characters which can be hard to find but he also loves adventures, horror, and Slice of life; he’s a little all over the place

Servamp, Soara and the House of Monsters, Jujutsu Kaisen, Rurouni Kenshin, You Have No Human Rights, Uzumaki, SINoALICE, Gannibal, The Tree of Death, Dorohedoro

Solomon

Solomon loves compelling narratives, dark psychological stories, stories that take a deeper look a humanity and immortality, and one’s that involves demons/angels/sorcerers. He does also love cat books like Satan

Ancient Magus Bride, Blood on the Tracks, Bloody Mary, Of the Red Light and the Ayakashi, Demon Diary, Dr. Stone, Emanon, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Magus of the Library, Mob Psycho 100

Thirteen

Thirteen is a little all over the place, she likes to see what’s popular but she also enjoys slashers, one’s that take a closer look at death and spirits, and dark romance

Duke of Death and His Maid, Executioner and Her Way of Life, Ghost Reaper Girl, No Longer Allowed in Another World, Versailles of the Dead, Your Turn to Die, Chainsaw Man, Your Letter, Solanin, Corpse Party

Simeon

Simeon enjoys reading manga that have some religious aspects, he likes ones about authors since they are relatable, and he enjoys some random ones here and there that are cute or funny. He’s also a sucker for a pure romance

Ceres Celestial Legend, Handa-Kun, A Witch’s Printing Office, Lord Hades Ruthless Marriage, Takopi’s Original Sin, Ride Your Wave, Haru’s Curse, Blank Canvas: My So-Called Artists Journey, Our Dreams at Dusk, Blue Flag

Raphael

Raphael canonically likes coming of age sports dramas. I believe he’s also he amused by one’s involving ant Christian aspects about angels and demons, heaven and hell. He also enjoys one’s that include his hobbies like security, military, and anything to do with fashion

Cheeky Brat, Waiting for Spring, Blue Box, Kuroko’s Basketball, Yowamushi Pedal, Ran and the Gray World, Mame Coordinate, Cinderella Closet, Kamikaze Girls, Anri a Shoemaker

Luke

Luke loves to try everything but his books are monitored to make sure he doesn’t stumble upon anything inappropriate for his age ana angel status. He loves ones about food, animals, adventure, and a good slice of life or 4-panel.

Cat Massage Therapy, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokémon Adventures, Animal Crossing, My Little Pony: The Manga, Story of Seven Lives, Star Wars: Rebels, Dragon Ball, Disney Twisted Wonderland, Cardcaptor Sakura

Michael

Michael enjoys funny books, one’s that take a closer look at humanity and war, classical adaptations, and one’s involving angels and demons.

Record of Ragnarok, I Had That Same Dream Again, Skip Beat, Angel Sanctuary, Homunculus, The Ephemeral Scenes of Setsuna’s Journey, Alpi the Soul Sender, X, Ballad x Opera, Legend of the Nymph

Mephistopheles

Mephistopheles likes books that involve history, nobility, prestigious jobs, mystery, and equestrian sports. He also enjoys one’s about demons and servants.

Chronicles of an Aristocrat Reborn in Another World, Great Jahy Will Not be Defeated, Villains Are Destined to Die, Vinland Saga, Cantarella, Kingdom, Blade of the Immortal, Ron Kamonohashi: Deranged Detective, How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom, Ajin

Barbatos

Barbatos prefers books that are dark and disturbing as well as insightful books on time, immortality, grief, morality vs law, etc.

Coffee Moon, Drifting Classroom, His Majesty the Demon King’s Housekeeper, The Maid I Hired Recently is Mysterious, Horizon, The Lady and Her Butler, I Sold My Life For Ten Thousand Yen Per Year, Homunculus, Parasyte, Yokai Rental Shop

Diavolo

Diavolo absolutely loves cute family manga, funny manga, one’s that involve demons and angels, cute romances, and exciting action and adventure. He isn’t picky and will read anything if it’s been recommended to him.

Correspondence From the End of the Universe, Soul Eater, Given, In the Clear Moonlit Dusk, Juana and the Dragonewt’s Seven Kingdoms, Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School, Thigh High, Delinquent Daddy and Tender Teacher, Hate Me But Let Me Stay, Hinamatsuri

[kafkaoftherubble]

时鞭自我弊不轻，永宽他人宜为重

//The Intrigue Of Tokinaga Sachiyuki

In the first essay, I speculated about Ahu’az, Furuya Rin (a.k.a. Yako), and Chapter 58.

This one, meanwhile, is a character analysis of Tokinaga. It is the second of my After God essay series. Beware; it's a long read.

You don’t always get one of your favorite characters gone through my Lyndisian treatment, @orange-peel-candy, so I hope this has been a good way for you to pass the time.

Oh, you’re curious about what the Chinese title says?

“Always punishing himself for his profound sins; always forgiving others and prioritizing their virtues.”

It’s my crappy attempt at making a 对联, “duilian poetry.”

There are rules in making one. The same number of characters are used in both lines to form a couplet. There have to be counterpoints in tonal pattern between two lines, such that if they “counter” each other. Words from both lines have to be within the same category, and the meaning of the first line must correspond to the second line's meaning.

I did break one rule though: the first line’s last character has to be of an “oblique” tone while the second line’s last character has to be of a “leveled” tone. In my duilian title, the opposite is true.

There’s also just how lacking in beauty my poetry is. Not much can be done about my genuine absence of literary competency, I’m afraid!

Yes. You might also have noticed it. The first character of both lines makes up the word “时永/ 時永,” which is... “Tokinaga.”

---------------------------------------

Super Good Guy; Very Moral

The first time I read this manga, the one thing that stood out a lot to me, especially against the backdrop of After God’s society and every other character in this series—is how unambiguously moral Tokinaga is.

This is how Nayuu described the Bio-Tech department:

Chapter 4

Not even a minute passed and we got this scene:

Chapter 4

Tokinaga stood out a lot because he was the only one who opposed the unethical treatment of  “a child,” even though such a thing was standard of his colleagues. These people were known for being unscrupulous, yet Tokinaga was calling people out like he was a YouTuber dropping some bombs about his fellow creators.

There are many, many moments like these. In a world full of characters with grey morality, he stood out like a sore thumb just on the virtue of his unyielding, monkish self-discipline.

Chapter 4. Dude was seriously against this when no one else commented on it.

Chapter 9

One might, because of this, pass him over as uninteresting (at least, before the reveal of who he is). He’s straight-laced! He’s nice! He’s the good guy. He will do what’s ethically right; there’s no ambivalence. And yet, I’ve always found his strange fixation with ethics fascinating.

Yes, there’s a personal angle to this—a very close acquaintance (to my chagrin) is incredibly interested in ethics and often ponders about them, even if that situation or thought experiment is pragmatically insignificant. Another dear friend of mine also adheres to ethical principles with the same level of monkish discipline. In both cases, there are deeper reasons for their fixations.

Even before the reveal of Tokinaga’s other identity, this quality of him was already grounds for curiosity. With the benefit of hindsight, I’ll even argue that the mangaka has been teasing us about the full scope of his character with little psychological breadcrumbs.

There is a startling lack of flexibility in Tokinaga’s frame of ethics.

Tokinaga seemed dangerously close to holding a black-and-white morality. But there’s more to it.  

He’s perfectly capable of allocating leeway to most people whose ethics and morals are less than exemplary. After all, the department he cooperates with—due to Waka—is deadass staffed with moral-is-optional weirdos. Their amorality doesn’t make him see them as less, though. He values every single one of them—their safety sent him into a self-sacrificial panic, while their lost lives crushed him straight into depression.

It seems to me that, in Tokinaga’s mind, the only person who should adhere to this black-and-white morality is himself. He needs to be. He has to be.

-----

“Apologize! Apologize! Apologize!”

Chapter 33 is one of my favorite chapters in the manga so far. It’s raw as fuck and a great character study—and it features a very intriguing facet of Tokinaga’s psychology.

Now, dude had just experienced a heart-wrenching betrayal from a dear friend. Losing control of his emotions was only expected of anyone. But he had a very peculiar fixation. Despite the weight of Orokapi’s crimes (including the many people he had murdered as the Snake God), Tokinaga was hyper-focus on only two things: the injustice Orokapi had done to him—and the act of apology.

Previously, he spelled out why he didn’t believe Orokapi could apologize: “You can’t apologize, feel remorse, have a change of heart, or comprehend sadness.” And yet, subsequently, “apologize to me” was what he fixated on. He discarded the commands from his superior and colleague and went berserk in his personal demand for that apology:

Why is an apology somehow enough to forgive the things Orokapi has done? Lives were lost. Damages were done. Orokapi, as Tokinaga’s mentor had said, doesn’t live by human ethics and acts like an animal. And even Tokinaga himself had called Orokapi’s capacity for remorse into question.

So why the fixation with apology? Because, I’d argue, to Tokinaga, it’s the “right” ritual to do. Tokinaga’s stringent, black-and-white ethics demand a ritual.

It demands something that needs to be performed after crossing ethical wrongs, even if it no longer makes sense. Here, an apology is a ritual of absolution, even if it’s technically useless after all that had happened.

Tokinaga clings to it. Why?

Could it be because it’s a ritual Tokinaga himself undertakes?

As you continue the chapter, you might notice—with the benefit of hindsight—that the things Tokinaga was screaming almost sounded like things he would say to himself.

At some point, it could seem like he was projecting himself onto Orokapi—who, by being such a dear friend to him, who learned to be an ethical human from him—was like an extension of himself.

“Don’t run away, dumbass.” “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?” “Who would want to be friends with someone like that?”

—all of these could apply to Orokapi, but they can also be applied to Tokinaga himself. For example, Allula called him out on one specific accusation Tokinaga leveled at Orokapi: running away.

Chapter 55

-------

Quite the Literal Hate Boner

We later know one(there are plenty) of the biggest reasons Tokinaga hates himself: he gets aroused and hard from nothing but violence and hate. The more vile and violent, the harder his hormones run. And all this happens contrary to what his higher-ordered thinking believes and thinks.

Chapter 54

Side note: remember how Tokinaga shouted at Orokapi with “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?”  Yet, here, he was admitting to his body getting hard from being insulted. The one that felt pained when being scolded was his mind. The part of Tokinaga he believes is him, “the ethical, pure one.” The one he’s constantly reinforcing and tormenting, over and over, as his fitful penance.

Now, contrary to what Tokinaga believed, this isn’t as black-and-white as his thought process made it out to be. You can also just accept that this is who you are, and mitigate what you don’t like reasonably. You’re living in a crappy nigh-post-apocalyptic society with a bunch of amoral people who regularly skirt the edge of ethics, goddamn it. You’re hardly the only one with questionable morality.

In fact, it’s fine. You never act out on these desires. You don’t harbor the thought of wanting to kickstart a violent rampage to pleasure yourself. Tokinaga’s (literal) hate boner can even be safely relegated to the realm of kinks. There are plenty of doms who will happily take him as their cute puppy-dog sub.

But Tokinaga cannot accept it. He is determined to maintain his sense of purity. Even in the face of his sexual desire. Or the decisions he had made using his time-loop powers to ensure his “perfect death.”

He wants to believe he is “clean.” And that he can keep himself that way.

If you were a certain kind of person with a similar thought process as Tokinaga, you might go to punishing lengths to hold onto this quixotic sense of purity, while simultaneously tormented by the anxiety of it slipping away from you.

You might, perhaps, cling to every ritual of purification you can to scrub yourself clean of this constant onslaught of contamination. Apology is one of them. Eviscerating yourself and other forms of mental flagellation is another.

He even mentioned the latter. He described how much his heart ached and trembled at the sight of brutality while his body went ahead and got excited. And then, hinting at punishment, he admitted to torturing his mind with intense mental castigation every night.

Chapter 54

This matches the experience of my aforementioned friend and acquaintance—who, last I checked, are not godkillers who can turn back time (aww man).

Nonetheless, they suffer from a specific mental disorder that I find to be an interesting comparison to Tokinaga’s psychology.

---

Tokinaga Sachiyuki:  An Allegory of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Chapter 50

Hey! If you’re like my acquaintance, who freezes up at OCD mentions sometimes, take care when reading this part!

Now, I’m not too terribly interested in headcanons. The mangaka has made no such proclamation, either, and so my personal principles come into play. I won’t claim he definitely has OCD.

What I would like to put forward, though, is that Tokinaga’s psychology mirrors much of a person suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. What he has isn’t an exact match to the real-world experience because, again, he’s a fictional character who can loop time and might be a dragon (oops, did I just drop a teaser for my next essay? Hmmmmmm).

---

“This isn’t what I want! This isn’t who I am!”

What separates OCD and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is that thoughts and compulsions in the former are egodystonic, while the latter is egosyntonic [1][2].

Egosyntonic: thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that are perceived by the self to be in harmony with their self-image, as well as their goals and needs. “There is nothing maladjusted with my behavior; this is  who I ‘really’ am.”

Egodystonic: thoughts, behaviors, desires, compulsions etc. that go against one’s perception of their self-image, “who they are,” and are dissonant to the needs and the goals of the ego. “There is something seriously fucked-up with my thoughts/behaviors.”

Chapter 55

Tokinaga exhibits egodystonic agony in droves. His sexual desire insults the self-image he holds about himself—the “Tokinaga” who’s disgusted by carnage, unforgivingly repulsed by brutality, as well as terrified of the frequency of such violence occurring in life. He hated all of it with his soul, and yet his penis is getting so fucking hard by seeing it.

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Intrusive Thoughts and The Behaviors/Rituals To Fight Them

His sexual desire, as well as any thoughts of him being possibly unethical or immoral, are his version of intrusive thoughts. They aren’t just “negative thoughts” he can swat away without them corroding his sense of self. They are his obsessions[3][4]. He had managed to keep them at bay for the first bulk of the story—unless, of course, you notice his compulsive adherence to ethics and his overall behavior from Chapter 30 onward. The façade cracked as the story progressed to Orokapi’s betrayal; it dealt a blow to his mental stability. In Chapter 55, Allula even wonders if Tokinaga is suffering from a mental decline.

All of these distressing obsessions compelled Tokinaga to follow a very stringent set of ethics—which he mostly applies only to himself. To me, his rigid ritual of an apology is as good an allegorical insight as any. His nightly mental castigation, where he fervently visualizes himself dying with all the sins of the world on his shoulder, is an even wider window to such a psyche.

What sets him as a great allegory of OCD while distinguishing himself from OCPD is that he’s not doing this because he believes he’s a good, sinless person.

He’s doing it because he believes he’s the worst.

So shitty, in fact, that he thinks being killed by Allula—whose abuses would put him through the most excruciating, pleasureless pain while his body experiences blissful, painless pleasure—is the only fitting end he deserves and therefore works toward that goal. Before he gets there, though, he’d have to endure his many intrusive obsessions... and hopefully, along the way, eradicate the embodiments of violence the masses had called “gods.”

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Conclusion

Chapter 20. This expression tells you a lot about what Orokapi genuinely sees in his friend. One of my favorite faces yet.

Again, lemme reiterate: there is no canonical word on Tokinaga being a sufferer of OCD. I mean, if he were to perform compulsive behaviors, such as skin-peeling or hair-pulling, it might become more canonically implicative.

What I’m going off from here is his actions and psyche so far, as well as the empirical recognition—by my friend and acquaintance—of his experience. To me, OCD has become a fascinating and fitting framework for understanding some of the complexities of this character.

It speaks to the strength of After God’s character writing when Tokinaga turns out to be a great allegorical presentation for OCD in media.

Side note: I’m personally a big fan of writing about atypical experiences in an organic, humanizing way however possible, because it helps readers understand the experience without too much focus on “therapy speaks” and the rules in the DSM-V. Yes, I say this as someone who studies cognitive science, is familiar with that manual, and advocates more rigor and replicability in the fields of psychology.

In case the length of this essay did not show it clearly enough: I adore Tokinaga. As of now, I sincerely believe him when he says he’s genuinely a good person... because, as I witnessed from my friend, it takes a certain kind of good person to be able to get this tormented in the first place. More importantly, Tokinaga may have clung to a stringent sense of morality out of compulsion, but it still makes him a good person in action.

If you feel similarly to him—OCD or not—remember that one’s mind could often distort one’s vice into virtue, and virtue into vice.

Maybe you’re moral because you’re compelled to do so to battle your intrusive thoughts, and so it feels less “authentic" than being "genuinely moral."

But I disagree. As is the spirit of Buddhist Philosophy (which I personally adhere to; also lowkey study), I think you’re already pragmatically good, and through those actions, you already position yourself in an advantageous spot for moral progress. And that will always be a cause for optimism.

Thank you for reading my ramble—despite the length! I hope you've enjoyed it.

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Citations:

“Egosyntonic and egodystonic” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egosyntonic_and_egodystonic

“Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder

“Obsessive-compulsive disorder” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

“Intrusive thought.” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought

[eruminx]

random phantom troupe headcanons / thoughts

including: chrollo, shalnark, feitan, nobunaga, illumi, general phantom troupe

warnings: possible spoilers, nsfw, brief mention of torture, lightly proof-read

chrollo is really into astrology. when you think about his character it makes a lot of sense. chrollo believes in fate and destiny, and how we cannot change it. that’s why he’s so amused by characters like hisoka and gon, because they try to change their destiny. and one of astrology's main themes is destiny and fate. astrology gives people identities, something that chrollo is constantly looking for outside of himself. because he cant accept that he is himself. i would go more into the astrology topic, but i don’t know enough about it to get into great detail without sharing misinformation.

shalnark and feitan aren’t that different from each other. both are scarily sadistic it just manifests in different ways. shalnark is generally very friendly and one of the more outgoing phantom troupe members. he’s a nice dude, but he’s not kind. niceness is like a mask, it’s a common courtesy. kindness comes from the heart. i think the only genuinely kind member is nobunaga, but i’ll get into that later. shalnark is more of a psychological torture guy, while feitan is more into traditional torture.

okay back to nobunaga. i very much think that he is the only truly kind member of the troupe. (this headcanon is not based on how he was as a child by the way) i recently read a nobunaga analysis (here) and it only furthered my belief in this headcanon. simply the way he feels for others is very kind, and how he acted towards gon and uvo specifically. as well as some parts in the manga. he’s definitely very compassionate and understanding, especially compared to the other members. i think some of the other members are capable of kindness, but they wouldn’t be described as “kind”. two other members that come to mind are chrollo and pakunoda. they are both quite compassionate, as seen during their sentimental moments. (chrollo when reacting to members’ deaths and paku’s pre-death gun scene and her small interaction with the cat) but i wouldn’t call them “kind”, but instead more in-tune with their emotions. but, i think deep down inside all people are capable of kindness, so it can be hard to say.

illumi isn’t as clueless about love as the fandom makes him out to be. his only real reference for “love” is his parents, and they actually really love each other. knowing how kikyo is, she’s probably very doting with silva like she is with her children. and silva seems pretty compassionate as seen in his interactions with killua. silva also showed genuine concern for kikyo’s safety when killua threatened to kill her during the election arc. illumi has definitely learned from that, even if he doesn’t fully understand it. he wouldn’t be the best partner, but he’s more affectionate than he comes off. and i also firmly believe that he is not a virgin. i wouldn’t say he gets around like hisoka and chrollo, but he definitely has a few bodies. he’s human too, and he understands that he has human needs.

a good handful of the troupe members get around frequently. i read a headcanon saying some of the members have had sexual and romantic encounters with each other and I AGREE. i think the members who sleep around the most are (in order) hisoka (obviously), uvo, chrollo, and shalnark. maybe phinks but I think he’s so angry and intense because of how pent-up he is. i also think paku and nobunaga are the types to have intense flings with people every now and then… and they can last months. some members i think do not get around are machi, franklin, and feitan. they’re just not very interested and are too busy. i think shizuku is in the middle. i don’t think she’s a virgin and she has partners once in a while but she’s not actively pursuing sex. she just goes with the flow.

the troupe members dynamics are constantly changing. i feel like there’s very clear friend groups inside the troupe. like uvo, nobu, and shalnark are a very clear group in my eyes. as well as phinks and feitan. i feel like chrollo and pakunoda are a part of their little group together. i think the others are more loner types, but the original members still all share a special bond. member-to-member conflict happens a lot in the troupe, you can see this with nobunaga and some of his interactions with franklin and machi. I don’t think anyone dislikes each other (not including hisoka) but tension is common.

anyways... thank you for reading! this is my first post in forever lol (i’m a bit embarrassed….tbh lol)

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