#i will be updating this post with more titles

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 30 (2024)

By Aj, Dion, Briar, Jen and Peter

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

Event Highlight!

In this Issue we take a quick look at the Videotome Jam hosted by Freya, the dev behind all the Videotome game engines!

Continue reading to find out more!

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form.

We hope you enjoy this new issue!

AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : Videotome Jam - "Waiting" ~

November 16th to December 1st 2024

Videotome Jam is a two-week-long game jam for games made in any of the Videotome engines with the optional theme of "Waiting".

What is Videotome?

Videotome is a series of small homebrew IF/VN engines made by Freya Campbell (communistsister), an indie game developer focusing on narrative games that are usually:

science fiction, horror, &/or romance

close to 100% LGBTQ characters

free/PWYW with low tech requirements

liable to make players keysmash due to feelings

Videotome was first released in April 2022 as a part of a game entry for the Domino Club collective. The initial idea for the engine was to make writing text-heavy games as hassle-free as possible, focusing not that much on the visual presentation format, but more on the writer's experience. It would allow writers to write in a notepad and then it would somehow grab the .txt file and parse the lines into an array, spitting them out one line at a time as a kinetic novel.

At the moment there are four engines available:

Videotome, for linear, no frills text / images / music;

Videotome ADV, adding a more conventional layout with ignorable choices and branching;

Super Videotome, for more fully featured and freeform image/canvas use;

Videotome Heartbreak, adding a stat raising dating sim & storylets structure to the above.

If you're more interested in the process of making these engines, check out the devs blog post - Words, Friction, Syntax: Stuff I thought about when making Videotome. (The post also includes a very interesting case study concerning other game engines Freya has experience with.)

If you want to check out some examples of projects made with Videotome, take a look at this collection. It includes games made by both Freya and other devs.

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 has officially started! To vote and participate as a jury, you must do so by giving between 1 to 5 stars on each entry page of the jam. The voting period ends on November 30.

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

A Hallmark movie is a feel-good, family-friendly film, often centered around romance, personal growth, or holiday themes. A Very Hallmark Game Jam with a theme of “Charming Love Interest with a Secret��� is also all about that!

Are you a fan of Videotome games? Then the Videotome Jam with an optional theme “Waiting” is for you!

This year’s Yuri Game Jam is in full progress. The devs have until December 2nd to submit their projects.

The Educational Jam is a perfect place to learn something new. Discuss some obscure tidbit. Showcase your insight about a specific thing, your pub trivia skills, or that Wikipedia rabbit hole you went down last time.

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

~ OTHER ~

PIZZAPRANKS is accepting submissions for their Indiepocalypse Issue #61. If you’re a dev and would like to try out your luck, definitely check it out! Any game is welcomed, not only IF.

~ NEW RELEASE ~

In Arctic Adventure unearth forgotten journals, repair malfunctioning equipment, and solve puzzles to piece together the station’s dark past. But beware—some secrets are better left buried in the ice.

You are a dragon - huge, winged, flying and even capable of magic. Only here, in a system of caves created by your magic, you can be yourself. But the time has come for you to leave your home. The old map, that you've been keeping since times immemorial, is now ready to unravel it's secrets in A Dragon and the Tower.

You’ve spent your whole life visiting the majestic Hotel Lexington, and now you’ve inherited it! The once-grand building is in disrepair, and rumored to be haunted! You’re the only one who can restore its former glory before it’s lost forever. Check in to your hotel, and check out the ghosts in Haunted Hearts Hotel.

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

You are a key member of "The Constellation Club," a close-knit group of friends brought together by your shared love for music and dreams. Over time, the club members drifted apart, but a mystery brings you all back together. Reunite with your friends, uncover secrets, and chase the dreams that first united you in The Constellation Club (Twine).

Have you enjoyed the first Volume of Oblivious Melodies? Then be sure to check out Chapter 1 of Volume 2 (Twine)! You play as the Horne siblings, navigating their emergence into gentry society. You will delve into a country divided by class, religious dissent, political factionalism, and the ever-encroaching interests of empire. @oblivious-melodies

In Ashenmaw - Dragons of Marrowoods (CScript) you play as a freshly hatched dragon whelp, navigating the odds and ends of the politics and mysteries of the five flights. Intermingle with the younger races, and jump headfirst into uncovering the secrets of Ashenmaw and the Marrowoods. @ashenmaw-if

Aydan joins his husband Leo in this important family reunion that takes place 2 months after his father’s death. Suddenly, they are all trapped in the house for 3 days and the lawyer states that one of the siblings is the murderer of their own father! Find out who the real culprit is in Guilty at 5PM (Ren’Py).

In a realm of forgotten tales, you emerge as a ghost to yourself. Stranded in a land where memories fear to tread, the icy breath of solitude kisses your bare flesh, a chilling reminder of your forsaken existence. In this realm where salvation dances with oblivion, Snowborn (CScript), awaken to tread the treacherous path through a world steeped in sorcery and demise.

You are a young nobleman, in a stagnating empire, either on the verge of resurgence, or it’s final demise. An Empire held together by fragile institutions, led by ego-driven men. And here you are, in the middle of it all. As this den of vipers strike, where will you fall? Find out in Scion of the Alason (CScript).

You wake up suddenly with a system telling you that you are occupying the body of a green tea b!tch! The spy of the fearsome overlord, Hasthael who betrayed him for the male hero, resulting in the death of his beloved lightning hound. Avoid the fate of dying and accomplish the missions given by two of the available systems in Project Dominion (CScript).

You are the Aeon, an omniscient entity as old as time. When your powers begin to malfunction and the source of an incoming threat is unbeknownst to you, how will you protect the fabric of the universe? Abandon your omnipresent form for the first time in millennia and craft an identity as a demon to infiltrate the Ethereal Plane in The Time Keeper (CScript).

~ UPDATES ~

Aesemyr: The Withering (CScript) released 3/4 of the "university gathering" path of Chapter 3.

After Dark (CScript) released the last part of the fifth day of the journey.

Eldritch Tales: Inheritance (CScript) released part one of Chapter 3. @darielivalyen

Honor Amongst Thieves (CScript) updated their public demo. @leoneliterary

Oh Mother, Where Art Thou? (CScript) started Act 2 of Chapter 1.

Our Life: Now and Forever (Ren’Py) added extra content to their Patreon demo. @gb-patch

The Abyssal Song (Twine) released Chapter 5. @ri-writes-if

Virtue’s End (CScript) has updated their Patreon demo. @virtues-end

When Life Gives You Lemons (CScript) updated their public demo. @when-life-gives-you-lemons-if

~ OTHER ~

Is playtesting something that interests you? Check out part one of Drew Cook’s let’s TEST IF #1: being a playtester. @golmac

GlasswingGames is currently running a giveaway! You can enter to win either a chibi or emote of a character of your choice! @glasswinggames

~

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

God-Cursed by @wings-of-ink (Twine)

I think this game is fantastic. Plot, ROs, writing, everything. Deserves thousands of reads and compliments!

//recommended by Briar [Team]//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

Hello! I appreciate what you all do. As a living thing with a 9-5 job, I couldn't regularly check updates from existing WIPs, especially the ones I really like. I also tend to be the last person to know new IFs with lots of potential. So, I'm glad that with your zine, I get weekly updates from everyone in one place. Thank you, thank you so much!

- a very mysterious anon

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our awesome mysterious anon!

For a very encouraging message!

As always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on the last issue!

What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We actually have a separate Zine for all our individual Interviews!

Last Issue’s Interview with Leia Talon will be added this upcoming week.

And see you again next week!

AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 30

[yuurei20]

I see you mention Magical Archives a lot. Is that like an official artbook? Can I get it in English somewhere?

Hello hello! Thank you so much for this question, I have been hoping to write about this for weeks 🥳

The Magical Archives Game Guide vol. 1 (full name: 『ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド』公式ガイド＋設定資料集 Magical Archives ) is maybe the single-most informative Twisted Wonderland resource available!

It includes a huge amount of extremely detailed information, from gameplay to the characters to early-stage development illustrations to a multi-page interview with Toboso Yana herself, only one of two that she has ever given on Twisted Wonderland.

While it may be described as an artbook it is also much, much more, and if you are only capable of purchasing one piece of Twst merchandise in your life, it is absolutely the #1 thing I would recommend.

First published in 2020 it is still available for purchase from outlets such as Square Enix's Online Store, Amazon, Rakuten, Animate and more.

It is not currently available in English, but for a brief while Aniplex USA was releasing "Player Guides" for free via social media:

These were multi-page PDFs that were, visually, quite similar to the first 1/3rd of the Magical Archives game guide, but with updated gameplay information.

These game-guide-inspired PDFs combined with how out of date the gameplay information in the original guide has since become makes me wonder if maybe there not are any plans for any official translation of the original Magical Archives :<

There has since been a second volume of the Magical Archives released (in September 2024), but it is not quite as detailed as its predecessor, including gameplay information and a huge library of game sprites but very few sketches from Yana and no interviews.

On the subject of translated art books, there actually is an official English-language book being released in December!

While its English-language title is "The Official Artbook," this is actually one of four books of a series called "Visual Books!"

Much like the magical archives the first volume is the most detailed, including pre-colored base art and the occasional messages from Yana to the colorist (re: a comment that there is no need to put any light in Rook's eyes for his labwear vignette groovy ww).

The Visual Book Series is not really comparable to the Magical Archives, consisting of pre- and post-groovy card art.

The "Design Note" might be the closest to the usual definition of "artbook," consisting of insight into event outfits worn by various characters and even including a few sketches of unused designs.

Unlike the Magical Archives, however, there are no behind-the-scenes notes such as "He has a black-hearted side, so he may laugh with a hint of that often" (about Trey) and "He has vertically-slit pupils that become round in dark places" (about Leona), which can only be found in the game guide.

There are also volumes 1 and 2 of the Art Gallery! These are collections of artwork by artists that are unaffiliated with Twisted Wonderland, depicting Twst's characters, much like Square-Enix-branded fan art (no contribution from Yana involved).

Lastly, there are the fanbooks! Contrary to their titles they do not consist of any fan-made content.

Volume 1 of the Fanbook mostly consists of character/story overview, but it also has some fascinating etymology information and exclusive interviews with several members of the voice cast!

The second fanbook focuses moreso on events, and also includes detailed recipes of Master Chef cuisine, a report on the since-concluded Twisted Wonderland Exhibition, a look into a Twst-themed hotel room in Tokyo Disneyland's Ambassador Hotel, and more.

And a third fanbook was just recently listed 🥳 (Amazon link), said to include event, card and story content from the 2nd to the 4th anniversaries.

I hope this helps! ^^

[cator99]

please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.

>everyone lived happily ever after

>a few weeks pass

>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer

>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment

>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me

>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.

>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her

>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her

>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something

>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"

>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned

how did she find my blog?

I assume it went like this:

>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos

>"Zander" Spotted

>runs to LC

>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"

>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"

>no here's proof!

>autism ensues

>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog

>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore

>"she's a tif"

>"no"

> yes"

>"no"

>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]

>"tell us more!"

>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."

meanwhile:

>assume she's probably back on her LC shit

>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life

>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"

>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."

>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women

to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)

meanwhile, on LC:

>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."

>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."

[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]

>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."

>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."

>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."

>"what does she have to gain from lying?"

>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."

meanwhile:

>call gf

>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."

[svsssfanonarchive]

ANNOUNCEMENT: SVSSS Fanon Archive, Grand Reopening 2025

After several months of hiatus and a lot of stress on my part, I'm going to officially be revamping and reworking this blog, hopefully in a way that resolves some of the issues with the previous version and makes things a bit more streamlined.

What to Expect:

Changes to post format will be a big one, as well as an actual schedule for posting. The ranking system will be simplified and updated. Additionally, in line with the url update, there will be some changing to the way things are worded throughout the blog.

When to Expect It:

I'll slowly be working on the changes as I have time and energy, but my hope is to have the reworked SV Fanon Archive blog ready to go by the beginning of 2025.

More details about specific changes below:

The Biggest Change: Tone

When I first made this blog, I tried to take a sort of humorously-disparaging tone as an homage to our beloved 绝世黄瓜 (Peerless Cucumber), which is reflected in the tone of the blog intro and pinned post. Since then, I've come to realize that there are a decent number of people to whom the humorous nature is lost, who see this blog and think that the intention is to stir up fandom wank-- and while most of these people understand after explanation, I've decided to try to limit that misconception to begin with.

That is why I've implemented a title and url change on this blog-- I was primarily thinking of rhythm and humor when I chose the original name and theme of "Fanon Exposed," but it turns out that the word "exposed" has a more negative connotation than I originially assumed, which misrepresented the stance I wished to take on this blog. Because of that, I will be updating the blog title, intro, and making a new pinned post that hopefully is more clear in terms of tone, to prevent any more knee-jerk reactions.

In my posts, I'm not trying to stand on a high horse or present a "gotcha," but genuinely look at and analyze the novel and share information that fans may have forgotten or missed or mixed up through engaging with the established fandom, and to figure out where certain ideas come from.

In addition to these changes, I will be updating existing posts to remove the "Fanon Exposed" tagline, and instead simply titling them as the topic they discuss, with a rating below the title.

That brings me to the next change:

Streamlined Rating System

I realized as I wrote for this blog that sometimes it was very difficult to decide where to sort a topic between supported, neutral, unsupported. Sometimes, a topic didn't fit cleanly into one of the categories, or the assigned category was far more subjective than was useful. Since I want the ratings to be more of a first-glance understanding of topics, I'm going to be changing the way that I rate the posts as follows:

CANON - There is direct support for the claim within the novel itself. Depending on the topic, things that are canon via MXTX's interviews may also be sorted this way, but the revised version of the novel (the version that was published by pinsin studios and subsequently used for the 7seas translation) will be the main determiner of canon.

FANON - There is no direct support for the claim within the novel, BUT there is also nothing that says it is not true. This encompasses what would have been considered unsupported, neutral, AND supported in the old ranking-- anything that is not canon to the novel, but not refuted either.

CONFLICTING FANON - There is evidence within the novel that directly refutes this claim. Claims such as "Luo Binghe was not abused" or "Yue Qingyuan frequently calls Shen Qingqiu 'Xiao-Jiu'" will fall into this category-- either things that have a directly stated contradiction, or a very strongly implied contradiction within the novel.

AMBIGUOUS - New rating, for claims where they are still not especially clear where they lie on the canon-fanon scale. For any "ambiguously" rated subject, further analysis and viewpoints are especially welcomed (though they are still welcomed on other ratings), with the goal being to sort as many such posts into an official category as possible, or alternately to provide as many potentially-accurate viewpoints as fans are willing to share. This is also to further delineate this blog as a fanon archive, and a more aggregate source of meta posting.

Important note: Because SVSSS has been unlocked on JJWXC and is being edited, I will be waiting for more information about that and for the edits to be finished before deciding whether to take the new version or the older version as canon, or to compare and contrast them. I don't yet know how much will be changed, whether the story will change significantly or whether it is more of a matter of editing to appease the censors, so for that we will have to wait and see.

Posting Schedule

Before, I never really had a schedule for my posts, and sometimes put out one each day, or one a week. Now, I have many things I'm working on and am not so deep into SVSSS fandom as I was before, though still interested in both the novel and this blog. Instead of posting more frequently and sporadically, I will try to maintain a fixed schedule of one new fanon post per month, to be posted on the first day of the month. This doesn't necessarily include other types of original meta posts (such as "Canon Examined" posts or simple ask answers), which will not have a distinctive schedule and will come out when I feel like working on them or have the time to do so.

Which brings me to...

Blog Content and New Post Types

So far on this blog, I've had two types of post: "Fanon Exposed" and "Canon Examined." In the reworked blog, these posts will continue to exist, though slightly reworked, but I also hope to include more additional meta written by others via reblog. Going forward, all of the posts on this blog will be sorted into the following types and tagged as such:

#FANON ANALYSIS - The original post type, formerly "Fanon Exposed," in which a fanon or presumed fanon is measured up against the novel's text, analyzed, and rated. These posts will have a fixed format in the future, with hopefully clearer delineations between which parts are canonical and which are my own more subjective analysis. Any topic for Fanon Analysis will be one that was sent in via the askbox. These posts will simply be titled as "[CLAIM BEING ANALYZED]". More on the updated format later.

#CANON EXAMINED - A more in-depth look at a topic in canon (for example, my piece on the pre-canon PIDW timeline). This type of post will not have a fixed format, and should be taken as primarily a personal analysis and interpretation rather than a delineation of canon vs fanon-- but within these posts I will always include as many quotes and sources as possible to still make it clear what is from the text and what is my interpretation. These posts will be titled as "Canon Examined: [TOPIC]" and may or may not be topics that have been sent to the askbox. There will be no fixed schedule for these posts, and I will make them as the inspiration strikes.

#QUICK QUESTIONS - Any small question sent to my inbox that doesn't warrant a full analysis post, or doesn't quite fall in line with the previous two categories. These will be answered directly from the inbox, rather than posted separately. A lot of these might involve various cultural details or translation questions-- I will answer these to the best of my ability. I am Chinese (Originally from Mainland), but due to various life circumstances, I've ended up with a certain disconnect from my native language and culture. Though I am working to bridge that gap personally, I am not completely confident or comfortable to be considered some sort of consummate cultural authority. I'll provide the answers I know to the best of my ability, but welcome further extrapolation or explanation from others less disconnected than I, and cannot guarantee that I will answer all questions of this sort. This also applies to other types of post.

#MYRIAD PERSPECTIVES - This is where the "archive" role of this blog really starts to come in. This tag will be for reblogged meta written by others. However, I will be very, very selective as to which meta I reblog, which must meet the following requirements:

Canonicity claims MUST be sourced, with relevant quotes included within the body of the post. The post cannot just say "The Mobei Clan have hereditary ice powers" if that claim is a significant part of the analysis, but must also include the quote from the Holy Mausoleum chapter that verifies it.

Cultural claims MUST be indicated that they come from someone within Chinese culture, or otherwise be linked to sources that confirm the claim. I'll reference these against my own knowledge (and CNet as well where possible), but I can't claim to know or be completely sure about everything. The idea here is to provide accurate and thorough information that can be verified by any reader, rather than asking readers to take things at face value.

Translation/Linguistic claims MUST be accompanied by a complete, detailed analysis of the passage both in the original and translated text. A post can't just say "the idea of Shen Yuan being sickly is due to a mistranslation and author's note," but must also include the passage in the original chinese, the author's not in question, and an explanation of the phrase 混吃等死 and its connotations. Again, I will reference these against my own knowledge and CNet where I can, but unless the translation and error is fully analyzed and explained, I won't be reblogging the post.

In general, for me to reblog a meta post to this blog, it should be in as much detail, and as thorough as one of my own posts. These requirements also apply to any correction or debate added to my posts. I will not respond to refutions that do not source their claims.

Due to time constraints, I will not usually be seeking out meta posts to reblog myself. If one happens to cross my dash, I may reblog it here, but if you find a piece of particularly good meta that falls in line with these requirements, please send a link to the post via my inbox. Please DO NOT tag me in a reblog or reply on the post. Reblog recommendations must be sent through the askbox for me to have a look at them.

#FANDOM EVENT - This category of post has nothing to do with meta or analysis, but rather, due to this blog's substantial following, I am more than happy to signal-boost fandom events. These include exchanges, zines, group projects, fans looking for collaboration, etc. as well as any significant fandom news. Preferably, send a link to the post or news to my askbox to have me reblog it-- but I will also reblog event and announcement posts if i am tagged in them. Fandom events MUST be SVSSS centric, or mxtx/danmei/cnovel centric in general where SVSSS is relevant in some way for me to reblog them.

#FIC SEARCH - Another category that does not involve meta or analysis. I am willing to post asks that involve searching for a specific fic in order to use this blog's reach to help fans find what they are searching for. I will limit these fic searches to one per week, however, so as not to flood this blog. If sending in a fic search, please start your ask with "Fic Search:" before describing the fic (so that I can easily search my very very full inbox to find fic search asks). All fics being searched for must be SVSSS fics, or SVSSS crossovers.

These will be the main/only types of post on this blog going forward. Once in awhile, I might use it to promo my own things for the sake of reach, which will be tagged as "#off-topic posts" for easy blacklisting. I will not be reblogging or posting any non-fandom asks, donation drives (aside from (rarely) my own), or current-events topics on this blog, both because I don't have the time or energy to see if things are legit, and because this is meant to be a fandom space away from real-world issues.

And finally...

The Fanon Analysis Post Reformatting

This is something that I've noticed and had issues with in the past-- while I try to keep my analysis more objective wherever possible, there are necessarily parts of my posts which are "my interpretation" rather than a distinctive, fully-objective answer. While any analysis I post here is informed by canon or other factors rather than being mere headcanon, it is still subjective by nature, and whether readers take or leave my interpretation is up to them.

I'm not going to stop adding my own analysis to my posts-- but I am going to try to make it easier to divide direct canon statements from my own interpretations.

The old "Fanon Exposed" posts didn't really have a set format of any sort, and tended to be a bit rambling-- and while that can flow nicely, it can also muddy the waters for those looking for a quick explanation. So, from here on out I will be using a distinctive format for every fanon analysis post:

<above the cut>

Title

Ranking

"What does the text say?" - relevant quotes, with very limited analysis or explanation where necessary. Essential translation details will also be included here if specifically relevant to the topic, otherwise they will appear later. Sometimes, for posts rated "fanon" especially, there will not be any reference in the text-- in that case, any adjacent notes will be included (for example, in a post about Shen Jiu having a sweet tooth, there is no reference to that specific claim in the text-- however, there are some details about Shen Yuan's snacking habits as Shen Qingqiu, which will be included in this section for the sake of relevancy, discussion, and clarity). If I miss an important quote or passage on something here, please tell me in a reblog or reply, so that I can add it to the post!

<below the cut>

"My interpretation" - where I analyze the quotes provided and make connections for myself-- striving for "informed interpretation" rather than headcanon, but not "distinct canon" by any means. Take it or leave it. More important translation details will go here, and if a reader wants to provide an alternate perspective, this is the part that would be debated.

"Fun Facts" - Small details that have little to do with a claim's canonicity or fanon analysis, but I thought would be neat to include anyway. Often little details that may have been missed (see my post on Mobei-jun's blue eyes for this, where I bring up the chrysoberyl/cat's eye stone and what that might mean) or small cultural references. Typically, just a fact that is adjacent to the actual topic or claim being made that I include because it might be interesting to know.

"Headcanon Ideas" - Now this is where "my own headcanons" come in. Nothing here needs to be considered canon in any way whatsoever-- see for example my post on heavenly demons' zuiyin (erroneously called "huadian") and the idea that demons might wear similar ornamentation as a sort of reference to the real-life presumed origin of huadian. This is not canon at all, but simply a headcanon suggestion/in-universe explanation for fanon at most or a fun idea at best. Anyone is welcome to use these little ideas with or without credit, but you can also completely disregard them as well, and they shouldn't be considered part of canon.

Every post might not have all of these parts (especially the "fun facts" and "headcanon ideas" sections), but I intend to keep to the basic structure at least. That way, everything that directly involves "canon" is at the top, above the cut and easily readable to allow readers to make a decision based on their own readings, with a descending "relevance to canonicity" as you go down the post if you're interested in my specific take, interpretation, and ideas.

I may be reformatting/rewriting some of my old posts in this format as well-- for the most part, it will simply be an edit to the old post, but if there are substantial updates or changes to the overall rating and interpretation, I may make a new post instead.

Conclusion

Those are all the major changes I intend to put in place here, unless I'm forgetting one or two details. Hopefully, this blog will be better for it-- but I'm interested in any feedback anyone might have on these updates, or things I may have missed. Feel free to comment on this post if you have something to say-- and I look forward to the reopening!

[lemonidae]

Coming-of-age BL Manga

Koimonogatari by Tagura Tohru

When Yuiji accidentally overhears his classmate Yamato confessing to another friend that he's gay, his perspective shifts. Seeing Yamato in a new light, Yuiji does his best not to let prejudice color his view, but he still finds himself overthinking his classmates' interactions now. He especially notices the way Yamato looks at one particular boy: Yuiji's own best friend. Even though he tells himself he shouldn't get involved, Yuiji finds he just can't help it; watching Yamato's one-sided love draws him in a way he never expected. At first, it's empathy, knowing that the boy Yamato has his sights on is definitely straight and has no idea. But as his own friendship with Yamato develops and the two of them grow closer through a mutual study group, Yuiji comes to truly care about Yamato as a person, regardless of his sexuality. He only wants Yamato to be happy, and to be able to express his true self.

Status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing)

Tagged: Drama, School Life, Slice of Life, Coming Out, Friendship, Insecurity, Unrequited Love, Romance

Kieta Hatsukoi by Hinekure Wataru

“Aoki, I didn’t know you thought about me that way.” Aoki has a crush on Hashimoto, the girl in the seat next to him in class. But he despairs when he borrows her eraser and sees she’s written the name of another boy—Ida—on it. To make matters more confusing, Ida sees Aoki holding that very eraser and thinks Aoki has a crush on him!

Status: 9 Volumes (Complete)

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, School Life, Bisexual, Misunderstanding, Romance

Hatsukoi Note by Amekiri

Shouya, a high school boy whose heart has never known romance, comes across an internet diary filled with wistful whispers of love toward the writer's same-sex crush. A photo posted to the page provides a hint as to the blog's owner: Tsubame, a fellow classmate known for being a lone wolf. Shouya realizes that his friend Ryuu is the object of the diary writer's affections, so he attempts to play matchmaker…but where will his own feelings take him in the process?

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, School Life, Yaoi, First Love, Misunderstanding

Smells Like Green Spirit by Nagai Saburou

Mishima, a student at a school in the countryside, is bullied by his classmates. The reason is because he's seemingly gay. In reality, Mishima does like guys so he doesn't resist their bullying, and instead, finds solace in secretly cross-dressing. One day on the rooftop, Mishima finds the lipstick he'd lost before in the hands of Kirino, one of the bullies… and Kirino was about to put on the lipstick that Mishima used on his own lips. This is the story of young boys looking for a place they can really be themselves…

Status: 2 Volumes (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Psychological, School Life, Coming Out of the Closet, Countryside, Cross-dressing, Enemies to Friends

CW: Attempted Rape, Bullying, Homophobia

Doukyuusei by Nakamura Asumiko

Hikaru always thought his classmate Rihito was kind of a snob, until he stumbles across Rihito secretly practicing a song in an empty classroom. Hikaru agrees to become Rihito’s music tutor, and with each lesson the two boys grow closer. But when Hikaru realizes that he’s fallen for Rihito, will they stay classmates or become something more?

Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Has multiple sequels

Tagged: Drama, Romance, School Life, First Love, Opposites Attract

Monotone Blue by Nagabe

Hachi the cat finds most things monotonous, but at the top of his list is high school and all that comes with it. But when Aoi the lizard--a quiet, high-achieving transfer student--arrives, Hachi catches a glimpse of a brighter, more colorful life. If Hachi can help Aoi open up, unlocking new feelings in the process, maybe his life won't be so bland, after all.

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Romance, School Life, Slice of Life, Anthropomorphism, Romance

Kagakubu no Megane by Arai Niboshiko

"Are you really fine with me?" "If I wasn't fine with you, I wouldn't have asked in the first place." "But isn't that the same as what we've already been doing?" "Yeah, so we can also add kissing." Two members of the chemistry club promised each other that they would go from friends to lovers at the summer’s end of their sophomore year. Akui is not quite sure what a “boyfriend” is, while Sako seems cheerful, even though he insists it’s just an experiment. The four-eyes of the chemistry club are clumsy but sincere in their first experience of experimenting with love.

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Romance, School Life, Slice of Life, First Love, Friends to Lovers

Hikyoumono da to Waratte Kure by Mitsuko

Kakeru, a socially awkward exchange student. Yuudai, who is always the center of attention. And Ryou, Yuudai's childhood friend. Under other circumstances, these three would never have gotten along, but before they knew it, they'd become a group of best friends. However, when Ryou starts dating a girl, Kakeru finds out that Yuudai harbors feelings for Ryou...

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, School Life, Love Triangle, Unrequited Love

CW: Bullying, Homophobia

Bokurano Tsuzuki by Amamiya

Yousuke and Shuu became estranged after a small accident during their childhood. Years later, due to some circumstances, Shuu moves into his grandmother’s house which is located at the shopping district where Yousuke also lived! Things were awkward at first as Yousuke tries to mend their relationship because Shuu was always so cold to him, but as Shuu begins to express his feelings more openly, Yousuke can’t help but notice the squeezing sensation in his chest!

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Comedy, Romance, School Life, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers

more manga recommendations

last edited 03/oct/2024

Recommendations are always appreciated ^^

[strangersteddierthings]

Porcelain Steve - Part 7

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine

((TW for this part; period typical slurs and internalized homophobia. Read the tags before clicking readmore if you want the details))

Steve has been a porcelain doll for seven weeks when disaster strikes.

"What is that," Jeff says, because even though the words are in an order which would suggest that it's a question, the tone of voice Jeff uses decidedly is not questioning.

"What is whaaa-AH! Nothing! It's nothing!" Eddie, who was torso deep into his closet throwing things around to find his backup amp cord, turns to look at what Jeff was talking about, and is now launching himself across his room to stand between Jeff and Porcelain Steve. Porcelain Steve, who Eddie had lain on his bed, propped slightly on a pillow, headphones carefully perched on his little head, hooked to a cassette player currently playing the first hour of last week's Top 40 countdown that Eddie had taped for him (all three hours of it, leaving out the chatter of the radio show host. He'd had to use two tapes to get it all).

"Nothing sure looks a lot like a doll in headphones, Munson," Jeff has an amazing poker face but Eddie's certain he can see a bit of judgement underneath the carefully blank expression Jeff is wearing.

"I don't know what you're talking abo- hey! Hey, no, no, don't!" Eddie tries to bodily block Jeff when he moves forward and the two end up wrestling, a match that Eddie almost wins, if not for the hazard that is his messy room. He gets Jeff walked almost to the door before he steps wrong on something, ankle rolling and sending him down sideways. He clutches at Jeff but can't make purchase and Jeff, the bastard, does fuck-all to try and catch him. Instead, Jeff leaps out of arm's length, then lunges onto the bed as Eddie collapses to his floor.

Eddie frantically tries to stand and, in his haste, ends up with his feet tangled in a pile of dirty laundry and that sends him crashing down again, this time forward onto his hands and knees, so he gives up on standing and crawls the few short feet to the bed, finally looking up to see that the damage has been done.

Jeff has picked up Steve, holding him inches from his own face, eyes squinted in suspicion. Eddie is frozen, horrified and afraid, and can't bring himself to do anything as Jeff examines Steve closely, turning him around, poking his torso, flipping him upside down to examine his shoes more thoroughly. It's only when Jeff reached for the shirt, pinching the hem of it between two fingers that Eddie kicks back into action.

He lunges up, one knee on the bed, leaning over to grab Steve and yank him from Jeff's grip. His first instinct is to throw Steve over his shoulder, out of sight out of mind mentality, but as soon as he does, he realizes his mistake and twists, lunging to catch Steve in midair. He does manage to catch Steve, but it sends him bouncing off his dresser and almost back to the floor before he manager to regain his balance, where he proceeds to cradle Steve to his chest, which is heaving from the adrenaline, wrestling match, and subsequent dive after Steve.

Jeff is giving him a concerned look but something else piques his interest; Jeff reaches over and picks up the headphones, holding them up to one ear. His face goes through every emotion a human could possibly experience in less than fifteen seconds as he listens to whatever track was at the forty-ish minute mark on the Top 40 countdown.

Slowly, Jeff lowers the headphones, letting them drop to the bed before he gives Eddie a new, more judgmental, yet infinitely more concerned, look. "Eddie. What. The fuck."

Honestly, he's not sure there's anything he can say in response.

"Why- I don't... are you okay, man?" Jeff sounds both scared for Eddie, and scared of him, at the same time.

"I'm fine," Eddie manages to squeak out.

"Eddie," Jeff says seriously, "this is not fine. This is- this is insane behavior. You know that, right?"

"I've no idea what you mean," Eddie doesn't even know what he's defending himself from but his default response to anything is to defend himself. He grips Steve tightly around the torso with one hand and then moves both his hands to be behind his back so Jeff will stop staring at Steve.

"I mean this fuckin' insane shrine you have dedicated to Steve fucking Harrington. How did you even get a doll that looks like him. Did you- did you make that?"

Fuck. Holy fuck. What can he say to defend himself here? Is there a single way for him to come out of this not sounding deranged? If he agrees, let's Jeff's drawn conclusion be the truth, then that's all but confirmation to Steve about his big fat crush, so when Steve's back to being Steve he'll never look at Eddie again. Jeff might think he needs mental help, but he'll be here for Eddie. If he tries to deny the accusation, then he'll need an explanation. He'll have to tell Jeff something that make him seem less like a creepy stalker, but what? He can't tell the truth, not without letting everyone know he's going to tell Jeff. There's a whole other secret he'd have to let out to even have a chance of Jeff believing him.

Jeff must take his silence for acceptance or guilt, because he's speaking again. "I.... man, this is not healthy. Please tell me you aren't, like, hoarding a lock of his hair or his clothes or something."

Involuntarily, damningly, his eyes dart to the closet, where several of Steve's sweaters hang from when he'd borrowed them and never returned them. And it's not like Steve doesn't have several of Eddie's own articles of clothing, like his battle vest and a few shirts. But Jeff doesn't know they easily, willingly, swap clothes, so his eyes go wide and dart towards the closet, as if he can pick out which pieces belong to Steve on sight.

Actually, he probably can.

"This really isn't what it looks like," Eddie says because he has to say something. Being silent is too incriminating.

"I don't think you're aware of what this looks like," Jeff says, wiggling himself off of Eddie's bed to stand at the foot of it. "Of all the boys in Hawkins.... I knew you liked Steve but this is.... creepy. That doll looks so much like him that I recognized it. Does Steve know you're in love with him, or is this like a way to process your crush without having to-"

"Jeff!" Eddie yells, mortified. He can feel his whole face heat up, knows he must be bright red. Because Jeff just said, out loud and for Steve to hear, the thing that Eddie very much hasn't even said out loud to himself, even if he knows how he feels deep down.

Jeff must know he's overstepped some invisible boundary he wasn't even aware of because his face immediately shows regret. He takes a step forward and Eddie takes a step back.

Immediately, Jeff stops his forward momentum. "Shit, I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm sorry."

When Eddie answers, his voice sounds like he's been eating gravel, "Just, can you go wait in the living room? I'll be right out, and we can talk, or whatever, but can you just..."

A nod, and then Jeff is gone, closing the door behind him.

With shaking hands, Eddie brings Steve back to the front of him. Looks down at him. He's not even aware he's crying until he watches his tears mark Steve's tiny polo. He can't keep holding Steve. Can't keep looking at him. Not when- not when his best friend just outed him in the worst way possible. And Eddie can't even be upset or hurt about it because Jeff didn't know. He's teased Eddie about his crushes before, and in the safety of his own room, there was no reason for Jeff to have to watch what he was saying.

Even knowing that Steve is okay with Robin, loves her anyway, without the ability to confirm that Steve doesn't hate him right now, Eddie's going to freak out. But he can't. Jeff is waiting in the living room, and the band is waiting back at Gareth's. This was just- they were supposed to just grab the amp cable and get back, a fifteen-minute job at most, and now.

Now Eddie is staring down at Steve, willing himself to not have a panic attack.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have heard it like that, it s-should have come from me. It should- you-I'm sorry," Eddie gently underhand throws Steve onto the center of the bed. He lands face up and Eddie sinks to the floor because he can't stand anymore, and he can't really breath.

Steve knows Eddie's a fucking faggot now, and that he wants Steve, and there's no way he'll get to keep the friendship they had before this. There's no universe in which Steve isn't creeped out by this information. There has never been an instance where a straight boy found out about his crush on them and didn't abandon him. Not always cruelly, he'll admit. He's had friends that learned and just... slid from his life with no words and no fuss. Eddie just never spoke to them again because they never came back around, but they also never outed him.

That's what will happen with him and Steve. He'll quit inviting Eddie around, or calling when he's bored, and eventually it will get to the point that Eddie only sees him at BBQ's that Joyce drags him to.

Fuck. FUCK!

He's not sure how long he's on the floor but eventually, he finds the will to get back up and resume digging through his closet to find the amp cord. It doesn't take long, he was ridiculously close to finding it earlier, it seems.

Before leaving his room, he picks back up the cassette player and headphones. Silence comes from them, so he pops the tape out before flipping it to the B side and popping it back in. He puts the headphones around Steve's head again and presses play, doing his best to not actually look at Steve. He'll just have another breakdown if he does.

He trudges out of his room, closing the door behind himself before taking the short walk to the living room, where Jeff waiting on the couch, elbows on his knees, fingers steepled under his chin, eyes faraway as he stares towards the wall in front of him.

"Hey," Eddie says, to get his attention.

"Hey," Jeff says, sitting up straight and turning towards Eddie. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? I'm the fucking psycho here," he sighs, leaning sideways against the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest, hand clutching at the amp cord just for something to ground him.

"Forget that, whatever I did, or said, or whatever, you were- when you yelled my name. You looked terrified. Of me," Jeff almost whispers the last sentence, and if not for the stark silence in the trailer, Eddie wouldn't have heard.

"Not of you, Jeff," Eddie whispers back, but his voice doesn't stay quiet because 'quiet' isn't a thing Eddie does easily or often. "Of... of myself, and these- of how I feel- I'm a goddamned faggot and now that Ste- when Steve finds out I'll lose him! Like I've lost every fucking person who ever even suspected I was a fuckin' queer!"

Silence stretches between them, enough to make Eddie fidget, dropping his crossed arms to twist the amp cord about anxiously with both his hands.

"Look, man, I don't know what's, like, the appropriate thing to say so I'm just going for the honest thing. You got me. You'll never lose me. And all those other assholes that you think you lost? You're wrong. They lost you. And if Steve Harrington is gonna be another one of those, then you aren't losing him. 'Cause he was never really in your corner to begin with."

If this were anyone else, with the exception of his uncle, he would be able to hold it together better. But it's Jeff. His best friend. Who never believed Eddie committed unspeakable horrors over Spring Break last year. Who didn't question the strange, new friends he suddenly had afterwards; who accepted as the only explanation a softly spoken 'they saved me' and that was enough. Who had said 'ok, cool' in response to Eddie telling him he was gay, years ago now, and continued trying to find out if Eddie had a secret relationship, switching girlfriend for boyfriend like it wasn't a big deal (Eddie did not have a secret relationship; his good mood that week was the result of snooping for his birthday present and finding the guitar hidden under his uncle bed).

It's Jeff. So, Eddie does the most metal, manly thing he can and bursts into tears, blindly reaching for Jeff and pulling him off the couch so he can bear hug him and sob into his shirt.

"There, there, you big baby," Jeff rubs his back soothingly, "let it out. Then pull your sorry ass together, because Gareth and Brian are going to think we died in a car crash on the way here if we take much longer."

"Ah, fuck," Eddie manager to say around the sniffling he's trying to get control of, "you're right."

"You good, though?"

"Uh, I will be."

Jeff nods and steps back. "How about this. We go to practice, and then you can come to my place tonight and we can like, hangout and talk. If that's what you want."

He's already nodding as he says, "yeah. That would be good. I- uh, I have something to do after practice, but yeah, after that I'll come over."

Eddie tosses the amp cable to Jeff after they climb into the van and head off.

Halfway there, Jeff says, "you know Gareth and Brian are in your corner, too. If you ever feel like telling them one day."

"One day," Eddie agrees, "but today has already been... a lot."

Practice goes well, with some ribbing for their tardiness allowed. If Gareth and Brian notice Eddie's been crying recently, they keep it to themselves. Which is good, because Eddie cannot handle one more thing today.

A promise to meet up with Jeff later and Eddie's back home.

Back to where he left Steve, who will be laying in silence on his bed because it's been well over two hours since he and Jeff left, and the tape only held an hours' worth of music on each side. Back to the nightmare of not knowing if Steve hates him now, or if Eddie's, and this is the most likely scenario, being a bit overdramatic.

His uncle is home, so he greets him, asks after his day, gets told dinner is Fend For Yourself Night (which just means leftovers or a TV dinner), and gets asked about Steve. Because of course he does.

"You sure he went on a vacation willingly with those parents of his, and he ain't actually kidnapped and trapped somewhere?"

That's a little bit too true. If only Wayne knew. "Well, no. I'm not sure. All I know is what he said when he left."

Wayne gives him a look. One Eddie is used to seeing, that says 'I know more than you think but I'm waiting for you to tell me' and Eddie's a little afraid of what Wayne thinks he knows. So, instead of prying that box open, Eddie just says he's tired and goes to his room.

Steve is exactly where Eddie left him.

Suddenly, without reason or logic, Eddie is angry. He's so pissed at Steve for being gone for this long. For having transformed in the first place. For not being able to assure him they'll still be friends, regardless of Eddie's stupid crush.

He snatches Steve off the bed, hand clamping around one of Steve's arms and his torso so he can hold him up with one hand. Steve's face, permanently stuck into a blank expression, looks back. Even knowing that Steve sees and hears through this thing, Eddie's so angry at the doll. If Steve hadn't been turned into this stupid thing, if Eddie wasn't so helplessly in love with him, this wouldn't have happened. Eddie could have taken his own time telling Steve, instead of hearing his deepest secret spilled easily from Jeff's lips. Instead of this not knowing what Steve is thinking, or how he feels. Is he recoiling in disgust at the fact Eddie's making him look at his face? Or is Eddie being awarded the same kindness as Robin, a quiet acceptance that won't change their friendship?

Eddie doesn't know that answer and he hates it.

He's so angry with himself because he should know better. He's forcing his own insecurities onto Steve, about acceptance and caring, when nothing Steve's done since they've become friends is prove that he'll always be Eddie's friend and not even the apocalypse could change that.

"I'm going to hang out with Jeff, so you're gonna be alone a bit longer. Or maybe I should drop you off at Robin's when I go," Eddie goes to toss Steve back on the bed when something pinches his palm. It's a startling sharp pain, quick to fade, but it's surprising enough for Eddie to let go.

Eddie watches, horrified, as he falls to the floor. He twists in the air, landing with a dull thump and cracking sound on his left arm before falling onto his back.

"Shit. Shit! Fuck, Steve, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Eddie is crouched, already in the process of reaching for Steve when he freezes.

There is a crack on Steve's left arm, a line that starts above his elbow on the inside of his arm and runs down and across his arm to his hand, where Steve's pinky finger is gone. Looking slightly to the side, Eddie can see the small porcelain piece that Steve is missing laying on the ground next to him. Eddie's own hand is hovering in the air above Steve, shaking.

This can't be- how did- Eddie wracks his brain. Was the crack there already? Did Eddie cause the crack when he bounced off his dresser earlier? When did it happen? Does that fucking matter when it's Eddie who broke a piece off him? If Steve didn't hate him before, he's got to now. Eddie doesn't have time to panic about this, he's got to- El. El can talk to Steve. Find out if he's okay. What if breaking him-

Eddie launches himself up and to his dresser, grabbing at the Walkie up there. He pulls the antenna up, clicks it on and tries not to actually shout as he says, "Code Red! Code fucking Red!" He lets off the talk button, counts to seven in his head, enough time, he reasons, for someone to respond before he repeats the process. "Code Red!! Code Red!"

He repeats this process for three minutes with no response. Where the fuck is everyone!? How is he supposed to- Oh! The phone!

He tears down the hall and to the phone. He must look a right state, because Wayne looks very concerned and is halfway to standing up when Eddie gets to the phone beside him. He yanks the phone up and dials the number for the Byers-Hopper household, holding up a shaking finger to Wayne, a silent plea to give him a moment.

It rings and rings and rings before the answering machine kicks in. Eddie presses down on the disconnect button before dialing the Wheelers' number next.

"Hello?"

"Mike! Code Red! Where the fuck is everyone and why aren't they answering!?"

"What?"

"Code Red! Where's Nancy. Put Nancy on."

"Dude, slow down, what's-"

"I broke St-it. I broke it and someone needs to get El here now. Code Red does not mean ask questions, Mike! It means Code. Fucking. Red."

"Shit, shit, right! I'll get Nancy and we'll get everyone- just- we'll be there soon."

Eddie slams the phone down and has to meet his uncle's eye now.

"Eddie. What is goin' on?"

Eddie inhales a breath and can feel his lower lip quivering. "It's- can we talk about it later? I promise I'm not the one hurt, or in trouble, or- it's not me, ok. I just-"

"Yer shakin' like a leaf boy. What's got you so spooked?"

Eddie just shakes his head and flees back to his room, slamming the door shut between him and his uncle. He can't bring himself to cross the room to Steve. He slides himself down the door to sit on the floor, pulling his knees up to hug.

"I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm sorry."

[narugen-moved]

suddenly thought about how reno, similar to mina when she first enlisted - was thrown into a situation where they were known to be gifted/talented and had to put their lives at risk right off the bat.

except. mina clearly and obviously looks out for reno and places him in the division with a captain whom she KNOWS will nurture and look after him well. because mina herself understands what it’s like to be thrown into the battlefield with one big weapon for the first time…

and she doesn’t want reno to go through the same fear she did… it also helps that unlike mina who was alone, iharu was with him 🥲

mina you are SO SO SO KIND!!!!!!!!! giving reno the support that she never got…

[its-me-seven-eleven]

update: he got out

[concernedbrownbread]

Hi I read your This Unbearable Tragedy and I’m having a blast! And yes please I would like to hear your thoughts on your fic

OMG thanks for asking!! Sorry for the late reply. I had so much to say that I wrote wayyy too much and then had to cut it down, lol.

(Also for those reading the fic rn, Chapter 3 is delayed to next weekend.)

So, the main things that I immediately thought of when I started planning a fix-it was "there's not enough Ben in s4" and "why would they set Allison and Reginald up to parallel each other and not follow through?" and also "that is NOT where I saw these characters going". In essence, I thought that s3 was setting up a certain narrative with all of this and then was like ???? when they went (haha) off the rails. So I'll talk about those three points below. SPOILERS for the fic and s4. It's a long post!

Before I start: one of the major points of this fic (and s4 ig) is that timelines are spilling into each other. That doesn't just mean artifacts. It means people. The Keepers get memories of other timelines. Why shouldn't Ben and Reginald?

Character Arcs

Yeah ... I think the general consensus was that the characters weren't themselves in s4. I actually had no problems with the set-up in ep 1-2, but then ... Five and Lila happened. And the narrative seemed to hate Diego, reduce Luther to a himbo and not much else, and for some reason try very hard to make Reginald a dad to Viktor. Klaus, Allison and Claire had a kind of nice sideplot but I didn't love it. It tortured Klaus for no real reason and made Allison his saviour? And for what?

Anyway, for my fic, I start off the characters the same with some subtle differences.

We don't see Diego at his job. His job is to be a dad. That's his whole thing, that's the best part of him. He's a brother and he's a father, and the narrative will reward him for that

Lila starts by screaming. Can you tell she's NOT okay? She deserves a break and a breakdown, and she'll get both I swear. She is NOT a house wife because she simply wouldn't be. She loves working. I did almost make Diego a househusband though

Side note on Lila's parents: they don't exist because why on earth would Allison think of that and not think of bringing Sissy back? It's clear her fantasy timeline is selfish.

Luther is a stripper still but again, his job is a side note. His first scenes is with Klaus (which, again, was a relationship set up in s3 and never explored??). He's trying damn hard to keep his family together and I want people to appreciate that!!

Allison's first scene is still the studio, but I wanted to expand it to include Klaus. Her story is still of love.

Also Klaus has his own place because he has goddamn agency in this narrative. He and Luther deserve to have a home of their own, and they'd make hilarious roomates imo.

Ray of course, exists

Five is interesting to me because while it makes sense for him to be in the CIA, I can't see him staying with the CIA. This will be explored in ch5. I have a really cool piece written for him.

Viktor my beloved <3 I have no notes, I just want to say I love him. I will of course not let him near Reginald unless to beat Reginald up.

Anyway, I'm going to write a whole separate post for the characters. You opened the Pandora's box anon!

Ben (and Klaus)

I gotta say ... I tried, I really tried, to like Jennifer. She's just such a non-character. We know very little about her, her trauma barely gets explored, the Squid is stupid because all it does is exist and then Ben is like "hehe I have tentacles too! Means we're connected" WHAT?

I was excited for Jennifer. Curious about the Jennifer Incident. Very vindicated when I learned Reginald killed them because lets face it, that's super in-character. But I just ... couldn't get behind Jennifer. So I scrapped her.

Look, if there was anyone that Ben was going to be soulmates with, it was Klaus (platonically).

I mean, isn't that what we learned over two seasons? That Ben and Klaus are inseparable?

(I also don't get the whole Durango thing. TUA has never been all that science-y but at least they tried, but this season they didn't care at all. They really just threw in matter/dark-matter and pretended it was something.)

Anyway, I also don't understand why the fact that Ben was DEAD in another timeline is never bought up properly. In fact, Ben is barely bought up by the siblings? After they discuss his death, they all go off on their own. Viktor's the only one who seems to care (which is fine, I love Viktor and seeing him try to reach out to Ben was nice). Five and Diego are fighting each other during their fight against Ben??? Doesn't make sense - Five saves Ben in s3, Diego hugs Ben so tightly in s2, WHERE. IS. THE. PAYOFF.

(I think that is really what I hated about s4. There is no payoff to all that was built in s1-3. They bring in whole new narrative points without concluding the old ones, and then everyone dies. The end. UGH.)

Anyway, MY BEN needs his Klaus. His memories are a little janky, because timelines, but there has always been one constant. There has always been Klaus. I think even in childhood, they were close (and I'll try to explore that more in the memories). More than that though, Ben needs his FAMILY.

And he might deny that they are his family, but they are. And they will do so much to help him. Including, but not limited to, BEATING REGINALDS ASS (/j)

Allison and Reginald's choice

Okay, the final scene in s3 where we see Allison & Ray and Reginald & Abigail made me think that s4 was going to take this further. Allison and Reginald both made a selfish choice - not in resetting the timeline, but in directly going against the wishes of the loved ones they magicked into the timeline. Ray in s3 is very clear that though he loves her, and will always love her, his place is in Dallas 1963, where he has people he cares about. A life he cares about. Abigail is a bit more subtle, but I remember thinking that it was clear that she wanted to die/was content with dying. I was a pretty casual fan then so I don't know if this was true, but that was the vibes I got from s1, and I was pretty happy that s3 confirmed it just ... not in the way I wanted? I don't mind she destroyed the world because she wanted to die - it's clear Abigail and Reginald think themselves above human lives. I just wish they explored it more.

And again, this parallel was something I got from just the ending of s3. It wasn't a deepdive or anything. I feel like it was such an obvious choice for s4 to go "What happens if you can't let go of the person you love?" And then ... they don't even mention Ray properly. Damn.

I just don't understand why they didn't do it? They set it up so perfectly. UGHHHH.

The main reason Ray exists in my fic is because Allison has to reckon with the fact that she really did pull Ray out of his time, out of his life. And I want her to realise how awful a choice that was. At the same time, I want Reginald to face the exact same thing and choose to do the opposite - hold onto Abigail tighter. Chapter 3 is going to explore a bit more of Allison and Ray, while further down the line we'll see more and more of Abigail.

(ALSO OMG!!! Abigail and Five parallel each other in wayyy more interesting ways than Reginald and Five. I cannot WAIT to write that. But this is more a headcanon hehehehe.)

Other Notes

I think s1-3 set up a lot of things that I assumed was going to be explored and wasn't. I'm going to try and touch upon all of them

the Jennifer Incident felt lacking. s1-2 really were so good because there was a slight mystery to it all, and when there wasn't, there was a ton of dramatic irony - ofc we knew Viktor was the bomb, but it was interesting to see the family figure out that mystery. In the same way, ofc we know Ben is the bomb, but I really though s4 would allow the family to actively search for why and how to stop him. I'm more of a angst & fluff writer but I shall try to write some semblance of mystery here.

Marigold. I will explore. I have Thoughts. chapter 3 will answer more on why it was found by Ben in particular.

Relationships that were set up in s1 will be revisited because as the "last season" I expected it to be. Ofc, Klaus and Ben is the big one, but also Klaus-Diego, Viktor-Allison, Allison-Luther, Five-Viktor, etc. Some new ones will be there, especially with Ben who had little interactions (on account of him being a ghost) and with Lila.

Five continues to be old man on this side of crazy. Sometimes he has good advice. Other times his ideas are unhinged. Early chapters he's mellow because life is normal now but when things go to shit ... oh boy let's NOT forget how paranoid this guy is.

Lila is also a little crazy. Good for her.

Commission!Five is explained more than just a throwaway line in the Five Deli. Five Deli and the Subway is explored more too ofc.

DOLORES MENTIONED BECAUSE SHE IS GODDAMN IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTANDING FIVE. Not even as a "love story" (Five's love story is his familial one), just as a part of his psyche. She is mentioned in EVERY season. She deserves to be mentioned here.

Pogo. I will not say more.

Reginald. Is Reginald.

Anyway, I have a lot more to say but I'll stop here. Sorry this is so long! Thanks for the ask <3

[thatonefreemanversefic]

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN EXCEPT 2 DAYS LATER!!

Sorry for being late, I am the pinnacle of health I swear (me when I lie)

Anyways, Goodbye Black Mesa East!

[timoothy]

[ID: A title that reads: It‘s A Loop. Next to it is a yellow goat. /ID END]

SUMMARY:

It's quite a day: Nearly getting hit by a truck, drenched in hot coffee and then asked to help get rid of a dead body. Thank god, Ted doesn't have to relive that day ever again. Right?

Or: Ted Spankoffski finds himself in a timeloop. And he's not alone.

to quote Emma Perkins in the 2018 hit musical The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals: "It's just a fucking loop?!"

CHAPTER 1: The Goat On The Intersection

[simgerale]

more wip palace pics!! the ballroom, the drawing room, the library, and the empress and emperor's bed chamber 🤍✨

[newtness532]

my study sessions consist of 60% singing along to songs, 15% of staring at the wall, 15% looking up random things or getting up to do unrelated stuff and maybe 10% actually studying and then i have the audacity to wonder why it takes me so long to finish anything

[reksink]

Hidden in Flesh

[alfhildr-the-word-weaver]

Shoutout to my Monkees mutuals for reminding me about the Monkees and their music; now I'm thinking about how She is such a season 2 Damon talking about Katherine song.

Meanwhile, 1864 Damon is of course firmly Vampire Girl by the Misfits (he would die for her, and he did).

[requiesticat]

Sorry for not being online much. Dealing with some bad stuff irl right now, but trying to push through it. Found a job, dealing with housing issues

Awhile back, I said I was thinking of writing a Starbound fic. Caved and did just that