#especially if it seems like everyone is reading the same thing

[meelusinee]

NOW SHE HAS ME UNDER HER SKIRT ✦ M.R x READER

in which mattheo is absolutely in love with you before you two even talk for the first time (part one to lovesick!mattheo)

SECOND PART HERE - lovesick!mattheo christmas edition

pairing: lovesick!mattheo riddle x reader tags: lovesick mattheo, fem reader, so tamino inspired word count: 3.7k warnings: just fluff again! along with easily flustered mattheo (+ teasing theo)

author's note: my second post!! i made a small playlist of tamino songs i used for mattheo in this. if you haven’t, please go listen to him (his music is so good). i based this off a small part of my first fic where theo sang to reader. as always, while english is my first (and only) language, that does not mean i claim it in any way shape or form (aka this will probably suck ass)

NOW SHE HAS ME UNDER HER SKIRT | M.R x READER

Mattheo didn’t know much about love. 

Between being raised by a dictator and his craziest follower, he already didn’t have a very good start. Especially whenever he would get in trouble, the Cruciatus Curse was definitely no joke. Not to mention everyone pestering him about the legacy he led. News flash to the Gryffindors who would try to pick on him, he found it quite obvious that he was Voldemort’s son.

Suffice to say that he didn’t know much about love. He never had a true showcase of it, never had an example of it to compare to anything. The closest he ever had being another stunted teenager by the name of Theodore that considered him his brother, but even then there was still distance.

That was until he met you.

You, the most beautiful person he had ever met in his entire existence on this Earth. Anything he  lol looked at on you he would find absolutely perfect, from the color of your eyes to the way your hair bounced in the sunlight.

That alone made it hard to approach you. Your nice demeanor seemed to make it even harder.

So, he settled with admiring from afar. Mattheo knew your schedule, the classes that you would take and every time that it varied. He would subtly watch you in classes, hang around the same areas you did during your break periods, or even where you went for fun. And, to the best of his ability, he tried to avoid things that looked bad. No more fights or cursing, not unless he was truly provoked.

His mind also got its grubby hands on the idea of a journal. A place he could write about you freely, one he charmed so only he could read it. Entries, song ideas, anything he could think of. You made him an artist, you as his perfect muse.

And it all got even better when you two finally met.

You had just walked down to the courtyard, Mary Janes clacking along the rocks as you made your way over to a small pillar.

Recently, you noticed someone sitting by the pillars a lot more than usual. He was tall, his face usually covered by his brown curls as he wrote inna small journal he always carried with him. Said tall man with a face covered by his brown curls was your current potions partner, you had both been assigned to create a Liquid Luck potion.

“Hello?” you called out gently. face tilted down just a bit as you looked down at him. His eyes locked with yours when he looked up, the most beautiful shade of molten honey you had ever seen meeting your eyes. “Hi there, stranger.”

“Hello?” he whispered back at you, eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. His face looked rather cute when it was all scrunched up like that, a light blush covering his cheeks.

“I’m your Potions partner.” you said with a smile, flattening your skirt before moving to sit down next to him. “For the Liquid Luck project.”

“Oh,” he whispered, nodding as he closed his journal. It had a rather pretty leather cover, the pages aged and covered in ink from what you could tell. “Yeah, I remember. Y/N, right?”

“Yeah,” you smiled, nodding. “And you’re Mattheo.”

“Yes I am.” he said, a soft smile coming on his face as he heard that. He looked at you with something special in his eyes, eyes that carved themselves deep into your soul with the most intricate patterns you could think of.

The trance both of you seemed to be stuck in was broken when he cleared his throat, fingers tapping on his journal. “Did you have any ideas for the project?”

“Oh,” you whispered, nodding. “Yes, yes I do. I was thinking that we head to the library and research different potion methods and whatnot. Based on Slughorn’s instructions, I’m assuming that the instructions in the books won’t help much.”

“You’re a genius.” he whispered, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“What was that?” you asked him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Nothing,” he said, clearing his throat as he began to sit up. “Do you want to go now?”

Mattheo thought that he was dreaming, if he was being honest.

The girl of his dreams, the girl that he had wrote almost obsessively day and night about for almost six years, that same girl was currently sitting across from him. Laughing.

“You’re ridiculous,” she smiled at his joke, her voice sweet like a piece of cotton candy melting on your tongue. He didn’t even remember what he had joked about at this point, his mind turning to mush the moment he heard that sound pass your lips.

Those lips that haunted his dreams every single night, the image of them so plush and pure he wanted to worship them like one would a holy angel. They looked absolutely perfect.

“Thank you,” he whispered, smiling softly as he rested his chin on his hand. He probably looked like a lovesick puppy, but he didn’t mind. 

“I found something really interesting in this book  by the way,” you said, Mattheo’s eyes instantly darting to where your hands were resting on the page. “It says in the recipe that we need to juice a squill bulb, which most people just cut it for. But this recipe here notes that squeezing ingredients over a funnel gets more juice out.”

“That’s really interesting.” he whispered, his gaze looking at your face as you spoke. 

“Isn’t it?” you asked with a smile. “And here it says that adding the entire Murtlap makes the potion last longer, rather than just growth.”

“That’s also really interesting.” he whispered again, gaze still stuck on your face. You looked so pretty whenever you were concentrating on things, the way your eyebrows furrowed making him think of a million different songs and rhythms. 

“Is it?” you asked with a chuckle.

“Well,” he muttered, looking at you with a small smile on his face. “I always found Potions an interesting topic.”

“Always is not a word. It’s more of a concept.” you said, humming as you continued reading the pages. Mattheo chuckled softly, looking at you like a lovesick puppy.

“You’re lovely,” he whispered. 

Theo was sitting in his bed reading a book, his curtains almost completely closed as he flipped between page to page. At least, he pretended to.

Recently, he had noticed Mattheo’s obsessive journaling habits. How his hands would be covered in ink by the time he was finished, or how he’d write until his new candle burnt out. Sometimes Mattheo would write even when the candle burnt out, instead opting for yet another one.

It was rather concerning to Theo, to say the least. Out of all of the things Mattheo could do, he was changing who he was. Self-improvement was one thing, but it seemed like he changed an obsession from fighting to writing.

“I can feel you staring at me.” Mattheo mumbled, looking back over at where Theo was sitting.

“I’m surprised you can,” Theo said under his breath, closing his book and standing up. “With how much you’ve been writing, I’d assume you get sucked in by a black hole sometime soon.”

“Oh hush,” he whispered, looking up from the journal. His hands were stained black and red with quill ink, the candle beside him still burning brightly. “Why do you keep staring at me? You’ve been doing it all week.”

“Your journal.” Theo smirked, walking behind Mattheo and placing his hands on his Mattheo’s shoulder. “What’s inside?”

“Why would I tell you?” Mattheo grumbled, continuing to write in the journal. Theo’s eyes squinted as they tried to read whatever was on the page, but the words were too jumbled to make any sense to him. No doubt a charm.

“You charmed the journal?” Theo asked curiously, looking down at Mattheo.

“Like you care.” he whispered under his breath, the quill scratching loudly against the paper. The room was quiet other than that, nothing but the quill scratching and the candle crackling.

“I do.” Theo said, his voice a bit more stern. He pulled up a chair next to Mattheo, resting his elbow on the table. “Mattheo, you’re pushing everyone away. Even me, and it’s not healthy. All you do is write in this journal, it’s kind of worrying.”

“I just like writing,” Mattheo whispered, moving his legs to rest his knees near his chest.

“About what?” Theo asked, his voice more soft than teasing.

“You’ll judge.” Mattheo whispered again, flicking the quill back and forth as his eyes glanced over at Theo. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because you’re my best friend.” Theo whispered. “I promise I won’t judge.”

Mattheo sighed before turning to the journal, pressing his wand against it as the words came into view more clearly. His handwriting was a lot more cursive than Theo first remembered, no doubt changing the more he wrote. 

“It’s a journal about her,” Mattheo whispered, flipping through some of the pages. “Love letters, poems, songs and stuff.”

“Her?” Theo asked curiously. “Who’s her?”

“Her,” Mattheo muttered to Theo, picking at his fingernails as he spoke. He looked like a blushing schoolboy who found his first love, it was rather cute to watch. “It’s, like, she’s a girl I just really like. I think about her a lot, you know? And I’m just trying to improve myself for her.”

“What’s her name?” Theo asked, resting his head against his hand as he crossed his legs.

“Y/N.” Mattheo sighed, like the word itself was a part of some holy prophecy. “She’s so beautiful, you know? Like something from heaven, just beautiful. And I just can’t get her out of my head.”

“Have you ever tried talking to her?” Theo asked, a small smile on his face.

“We have this project together right now.” he said, chuckling softly as he spoke. He was so down bad. “She took me to the library to research more about potions. Merlin, she’s so smart Theo. She figured the reason why nobody could make the potion was because the instructions were wrong.”

“So you both started researching?” Theo asked.

“She researched, yeah,” Mattheo said, before chuckling again. His hand moved to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “I kind of just sat watching her the entire time.” 

“Mattheo,” Theo chuckled softly, shaking his head. 

“You said you wouldn’t judge!” Mattheo protested.

“I’m not judging.” Theo chuckled, looking down at the journal. “I’m just confused on how you think you’ll get your girl if you can’t even talk to her. Journaling can only go so far.”

“I know,” Mattheo whispered, looking down at his journal again. “But it still helps.”

Theo nodded, looking down at the journal again. “What are you writing about right now?”

“Uh,” he muttered, looking at the pages. “It’s a song. She said something at the library that made me think of a song, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.”  

“What’s it sound like.” Theo asked, leaning back in his seat.

“Uhm,” he whispered, picking at his nails again as he pushed the journal towards Theo. He hummed softly as he picked it up, eyes squinting as he tried to read his handwriting.

Darling, just calm with your voice

Let your heart sing, how I always enjoy 

When you say “always” is not a word

You think love is a bit absurd.

“That’s really nice,” Theo said, looking up at Mattheo with a small smirk. “This is a lot better than I thought it’d be, to be honest.”

“What did you think I was writing about?” Mattheo asked confusedly.

“Dark magic or something.” Theo chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Like you were possessed by a ghost to figure out how to resurrect themselves.”

Mattheo chuckled at that, taking his journal back. “I think you’ll find someone like this, you know. It makes life really nice.”

“Being in love?” Theo asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah,” Mattheo whispered. “In love.”

“Well, there’s always an opportunity for that. And when it happens, it’ll happen.” Theo said, patting his pockets and pulling out a box of cigarettes. “But until then, there’s cigarettes.”

“You know the way to my heart, don’t you?” Mattheo snickered at that, using the lit candle to light his own cigarette.

It had been a couple of weeks since you and Mattheo had started working on your project. You had figured out how to maximize the efficiency of your potion brewing, including changing methods of brewing and preparing ingredients. After about three different trials, you had finally found the perfect way to brew the potion. 

“That’s perfect.” Mattheo smiled softly at you, chuckling softly as he scratched the back of his neck. In all honesty, it looked like a regular potion to him. “I think that’s perfect, right?”

“That is perfect.” you said, giggling softly as his reaction You found it rather cute, if you were being honest. He seemed rather nervous around you. “Thank you for doing all of this with me, the potion work and all. Most people would probably just leave it to me, you know?”

“Why would they leave?” Mattheo asked, eyebrows furrowing.

You shrugged, looking down at the potion still set in the cauldron as you spoke. “I don’t really know. I guess people consider me weird or something like that. Someone said that I was whimsical once, I don’t think it was a nice way though.”

“That’s absolutely ridiculous.” Mattheo spat. He couldn’t understand the logic of that. In his eyes, you were absolutely perfect. He would give anything in the world to hang out with you more often than he got too, and people gave that up for free? The thought was absolutely ridiculous.

You chuckled quietly at that, smiling softly. “Yeah?”

“Definitely. I mean,” he paused, looking up at you like that was the most absurd thing in the entire world. He had a small flush on his face, no doubt questioning what he was going to say. “I mean, you’re such a nice person. And I think that hanging around you is comforting.”

“And I think that you’re rather sweet.” you chuckled, looking at him with a soft smile.

“I’m being serious!” Mattheo said, looking you in the eyes. You hadn’t heard him talk this much in the entire time that you had been working with him, and you especially didn’t expect it to be him defending you. “You’re just, like, you. Which is really sweet, you know? I really like you and your whimsy, or whatever they try to call you.”

You giggled again, smiling softly at him as you scooted a bit closer. “You’re rather nice yourself, if I do say so myself.”

“Thank you.” he whispered, his voice raising a pitch as he looked at the potion. “Do we need to test this?”

“I think so.” she nodded. “Do you want to do it?”

Mattheo looked at the potion, a small frown coming on her face. If anything went wrong with the podcast, he wouldn’t want you to be hurt by it. Which led to him nodding, the best option for him obviously being him taking the potion himself. 

“I’ll bottle it for you.” you said, grabbing the small ladle and pouring it inside the potion vial. “Here, one vial of Liquid Luck for you.”

Mattheo smiled softly as he took a sniff of it. “Is it meant to smell like something?”

“No, just air. I mean, clean air. Not like toxic air or anything.” you said, before ending your small speel. “It doesn’t smell like anything.”

Mattheo nodded again, taking a swig of it before coughing. “That’s definitely hot.”

“It did just come off the cauldron.” you chuckled, fingers fidgeting slightly. “Do you feel lucky?”

Mattheo looked up at you with a look you could only describe as a lovesick puppy, a small flush covering his face as he admired you. You could only assume the amount of thoughts running through his mind were plenty, some very hard to sort through. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, blinking slowly as he looked at you. “Very lucky.”

You chuckled softly at that, your face flushing as you watched his eyes lock onto your lips. “Do I have something on my lips or something?”

“No,” he whispered softly, his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he spoke. “No, I just,”

“Something on my teeth?” you asked, shining your teeth to him.

“I want to kiss you.” he whispered. 

Your mouth closed again as you heard that, eyes locking onto his after he spoke. That didn’t last long though, as his eyes focused back on your lips again. “You what?”

“I want to kiss you.” he said a bit more clearly, his voice hoarse as he spoke. “I mean, I don’t want to pressure you. But I really want to kiss you.”

“You can kiss me.” you whispered softly to him, scooting a bit closer to him in return. 

Mattheo blinked for a couple of seconds, the shock of your answer plastered on his face. It filled you with a small sense of confidence, the blush on his face fueling your own. “I can?”

“You can.” you smiled.

Mattheo smiled brightly at that, the burn of it brighter than the sun sucking his lips in like a blackhole would. His lips immediately met yours, burning like fireworks against his skin. It was absolute bliss to him, burning through his skin and turning him into nothing but lovesick ash.

“Your lips are absolutely perfect, my love.” he whispered, his eyes boring into yours with a gaze full of adoration. “So perfect.”

“Was your luck to try and kiss me, Riddle?” you chuckled softly at him. 

“This is the luckiest moment of my life.” he whispered. 

“Theo!” Mattheo spat out, opening the dorm room door as he stormed in. His palms looked sweaty, and his face was absolutely covered in a bright blush. 

“Mattheo.” Theo said his name back, closing his book as he looked at where Mattheo had stormed in. He looked absolutely wrecked, almost drenched in sweat. “You look like you just got your ass kicked on the Quidditch field.”

“I just,” he whispered, walking closer to Theo as he paced around the room. “I just kissed her.”

“Y/N?” Theo asked, a small smile crossing her face. “You kissed her?”

“It was so perfect.” he whispered, laying down on Theo’s bed. “Like, it was like her lips had a magnetic pull on me. I couldn’t stop for the next hour. A whole hour!”

“That’s wild, mate.” he chuckled softly, patting Mattheo on the head.

“It was just perfect,” he whispered under his breath, sighing softly. “Like, I don’t know how else to describe it. Maybe like looking at a supernova for the first time.”

“You are down bad, Mattheo.” he chuckled softly at that, continuing to pat his friend on the head.

“And then we, after that right?” he said, the smile on his face only growing larger. “We snuck off to this broom closet. You know the ones. And we did, we had,” he paused, sighing in frustration as his words jumbled in his head. “You know?”

“I know.” Theo chuckled.

“I have a song idea again.” Mattheo said, sitting up again as he rushed to the journal he kept so dearly to his heart. “I will be dead to the world for the next few hours.”

“You want me to go tell Y/N that, lover boy?” Theo smirked.

“She can come in whenever.” Mattheo said, dipping his quill in black ink. “I already gave her our dormitory password.”

“You what?”

“I have a present for you.” Mattheo whispered under his breath, a small smile on his face as he walked towards you.

It was the 6 month anniversary of one of the happiest relationships you had ever been in. There was communication and there was love. Small dates near the Black Lake at midnight, with breakfast you stole from the Great Hall earlier. Times where he’d take you into town and let you dress up however you wanted, all on the cards he stole from Malfoy. Or small get-togethers like this, hangouts at the top of the Astronomy Tower. 

And the presents were always lovely. Small poems that he wrote for you, or love letters that he hand wrapped himself. A small blush or dress you had been eyeing for more than two seconds, or room decor that went with your forever indecisive aesthetics. 

“You do?” you giggled softly, gasping softly as he pulled out a small guitar. “A song?”

“I’ve written a couple for you,” he whispered. “And I wanted to sing them to you. For our anniversary.”

“I love you.” you giggled, smiling as he sat down.

He cleared his throat as he made sure the guitar was in tune, strumming a few chords before eventually developing a melody. It seemed almost hypnotic the way his hands moved, his voice humming along as he figured out the rhythm.

“Yesterday, I was a word. Left with no voice to speak it,” he hummed softly, his voice and the guitar both vibrating through the walls. You smiled brightly as you heard his voice, not realizing how pretty his voice actually sounded.

“Now I am a happy song, placed on the lips of a woman.” he sang, winking at you. He continued for a few lines, a small smirk growing on his lips as he got to the instrumental part.

“What are you going to sing next?” you asked, watching him giggle softly. “Seriously!”

“Patience,” he whispered, chuckling as he strung the melody again, his eyes darting down at the guitar. “Now she has me, under her skirt,”

“Mattheo!” you flushed, slapping his arm and breaking the rhythm of his song. “My skirt?”

The both of you burst out into a laugh at that, the sound breaking through the cold night air that breezed through the alcove you sat in. Or maybe you just felt warm in his presence, a constant feeling of love rushing through your body.

“Can I finish my song now?” he smirked.

“I suppose you could.” you whispered, resting your head on his shoulder as he continued to sing.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

my second post oh my GOD this one took a hot minute to get through. beta-reading and proof reading is definitely not my jam, and there's definitely things that i missed in this. but i hope it still works out well, especially the whole lovesick angle i was going for. if you guys haven't already, please please please go check out tamino's music. it is actually so. good. if you listen to hozier or adrianne lenker, i think you'd really like his songs (my favorites are the first disciple and habibi)

if you would like to read the second part, click here!

as always, please like, comment, and reblog! it really helps out, and i really appreciate everyone who does! if you guys have any requests or something you can request in the ask box!

[kingkatsuki]

— blind justice

Warnings: 18+, obsessive Higuruma, stalking, voyuerism .

You and Higuruma have never really met, but he feels like he knows you by now. Or at least — he knows a lot about you.

He knows what you do for a living, what you like to do outside of work, where you shop for groceries, and of course your favourite coffee shop — even down to your exact order. He’s also memorised your exact commute to and from work (which leads him to one of the seedier areas in Tokyo (something that fills him with dread each time you leave work a little later than usual).

Higuruma remembers the exact moment he was approached to defend your now ex-boyfriend. A seemingly good guy on paper with no prior convictions and unequivocally adamant that you were a scorned girlfriend trying to ruin his life when he’d tried to break up with you.

Higuruma couldn’t help but notice how pretty you are when you sat in front of him in the court room. An inexplicable ebb began to form in the pit of his stomach as he began to tear your story down brick by brick in front of the judge and jury, countering all your answers in defense of his client until he noticed you were holding back tears.

Of course, Higuruma won the case and the man was free to go.

But it wasn’t even a month later that another file sat in front of Higuruma on his desk. The same man he had defended before was asking for his help again as he was now facing prison time. Higuruma flicked through the pages to read the new charge — assault. Paired with a photograph of his victim.

You.

The first thing Higuruma noticed now he could admire you up close was that you had the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen — even when they were filled with fear as you stared hopelessly up at the camera. A dark bruise bloomed across your cheekbone as he noticed a slight gash beneath it from what he could only summise to be caused by a ring. You looked completely defeated, and it was his fault. He’d been the one to get your ex-boyfriend off with a slap on the wrist so that he was able to hurt you again, and he hated himself for it.

In that moment Higuruma had the most intense urge to protect you.

Some of the information about you was easier to find than others. Of course it had helped that your full name and address had been included in the case file, skimming your deposition as he learned about the abuse you’d endured at the hands of this lowlife. It had Higuruma’s heart churning in his chest, only adding to his disillusionment of the legal system when he’d discovered you’d reported this man at least six times. And yet this seemed to be the second time he’d ever been taken to court for something. The rest of the charges dropped for lack of evidence.

And he’d blindly defended your ex-boyfriend in court in the name of justice, but the justice he was so set on fighting for had not been served. And guilt began to seep into his veins as he glanced back at the photographs of you covered in bruises — it was all his fault.

But he’d make it right.

Higuruma wouldn’t consider this stalking — perhaps following you to and from work was a little unorthodox, but it’s not like the police were doing anything to protect you. And at least the other locations could be attributed to shared interests — everyone loves a coffee shop right?

The trial had made things more difficult, and he was certain his license would be in jeopardy if you found out what he was doing, so for now it was what he needed to do to keep you safe.

Especially when you’ve just got out of a relationship with an absolute sleazebag of a boyfriend — if it could even be classified as a relationship. The file detailed a tumultuous relationship that seemed to often end with you hurt, some scars worse than others as Higuruma wished he could just hold you in his arms.

So until then, he’d look after you.

He could admit sometimes he enjoys a break from his office when he leaves to find you in a local pub with your friends. Nursing a glass of whisky at the bar while you sat down drinking with your friends, admiring the pretty dresses and skirts that you always seemed to wear. His dark eyes glaring daggers at any man that even glanced in your direction when you leaned against the bar to order another round, your skirt creeping up your thighs. And if Higuruma was any less of a man, he definitely would have looked—

The neon lights of his alarm clock began to flash as the incessant beep rung out in his bedroom as he’d seemingly stayed up all night to find out more about you. There was at least three weeks until the court date, and your ex-boyfriend was out on bail for no prior convictions — that was three weeks too long.

He found himself delving deeper, losing himself in time while bleary eyes continued to stare at his laptop screen, scrolling through years of your social media. Your most recent post detailed how terrified you were about sleeping in your apartment alone and that every noise kept you up at night, and Higuruma knew then what he had to do, especially when the legal system was failing you — he had failed you.

He’d failed you in the courtroom so this time he had to protect you.

It’s why he’d ended up slipping an AirTag inside your purse one evening during your commute home, a device that you still hadn’t seemed to find (and even more reason why you needed him) as he kept his notifications on for you. Leaving his office early whenever he saw you were on the move, following obediently as he found himself falling into your routine.

His favourite was always the weekends you’d indulge in a bubble bath. Finding himself relaxed in the opposite high rise with a pack of smokes as he watched you completely unaware that he could see through the sheer curtains in your bedroom as you came out of the bathroom surrounded in a dewy glow. Settling your feet against the sheets of your bed as you smoothed cream along your supple thighs.

You’d have to forgive him for fisting his cock at the sight of you. Biting back a gruff grunt as he pictured sliding inside your warm, wet cunt. Molding you into the shape of him so you’d never be able to remember all the other guys that you’d been with before, feeling your pliant walls clamp down around his length as he made you cum before filling you up with his spend. Sighing when warm rivulets of cum would ooze out of his thick cock, coating his and and thighs as he pictured how pretty you’d look with it drooling out of your tightness instead.

What he wouldn’t give for just a feel of you — and perhaps you’d let him as a special thank you for diligently looking after you.

And so what if your ex-boyfriend had already been sentenced this time and was finally doing time for his abuse and stalking — why would Higuruma want to stop following you? He’d ensure that no one else ever had the opportunity to lay a finger on you ever again.

Especially when your taste in men seemed to be far less than savory. Rolling his eyes at the way you perked up when another asshole approached you on a night out with friends a few weeks later. Giving you a casual smile with his hand resting on the curve of your back, dangerously close to your ass. Hiromi would snap his fingers clean off for even touching you like this, you were far too delicate.

Downing the rest of his whisky as he followed the man out of the bar when he left for a smoke. Towering over him as he shoved him down a dirty alley at the side of the building to threaten him with a flurry of possible charges that could come out of one night with you — something that was far too easy to do when you’re in his line of work.

Finishing off his own cigarette as he watched you look around the street for the man you were supposed to be going home with tonight to see he was now nowhere to be seen. Higuruma watched in satisfaction as he crushed the butt of his cigarette beneath his sole. Getting ready to follow you home alone.

After all, you can never be too careful these days… there’s just so many creeps about.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Congrats on wrapping up the Cursed Raven Saga!! 🎉 I had a lot of fun reading it. One thing I loved was how Miss Raven has different relationships with every character. A lot of the saga was focused on just her and J Word though so I wanted to ask if you could clarify what her relationships are like with the other characters especially the ones we don’t see a lot of in the saga or not at all. Sorry if it’s a big ask, I’m just curious! You can do just the 22 NRC boys for now if you want. 😊

[Referencing this series!]

AAAAAAH THANK YOU FOR LIKING IT, I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY 😭💐

Having a character with very different relationships with the rest of the cast makes them feel more "real", doesn't it? Miss Raven doesn't get along with everyone! I spent a long time thinking about how she would interact with the others in the cast. A lot of those relationships are complicated or change over time, which is why I decided to explain each individual one rather than slap together a quick chart. The NRC students, staff, and a few key characters are included. I hope you enjoy reading ^^

Riddle

They’re very awkward friendly acquaintances. If you asked either one of them though, they’d deny it and instead claim they just have a professional relationship.

They initially get to know each other via dorm meetings (as Raven attends to take notes); Riddle likes that she does her job and stays focused. He sometimes nags his freshmen students to be more diligent and to follow her example.

They take tea together occasionally and complain about the eels. Riddle has to deal with them all the time—one as his classmate, the other approaching him at random, much to his chagrin.

Not sure how to deal with him when he’s mad. Raven locks up out of fear but attempts to talk him back into a state of calm. Sometimes just cowers.

Frequently tells Raven it is “ill-advised” to associate with the twins.

Trey

Acquaintances out of convenience, I’d say? Raven and Trey don’t talk much themselves, but Trey appreciates that she’s Riddle first “new” friend at NRC.

Raven sees Trey has a reliable senpai, but doesn’t really have reasons to talk to him outside of business. She tries not to bother him since it looks like he’s already got a lot on his plate dealing with his own dorm members.

Trey uses her as a waste receptacle taste tester for his latest creations whenever he feels the Heartslabyul boys have had their fill of sugar. “Ravens can basically eat anything right? Here, have some of this then.”

Cater

Calls Raven "Rae-chan".

They’re not close at all, but they’re aware of the other person’s existence. The two don’t vibe so well…

Raven’s an introvert that doesn’t really understand Cater’s sparkly persona and social media obsession. Cater doesn’t get why a cute girl like Raven doesn’t show off more.

Cater isn’t entirely comfortable around her because sometimes it seems like she’s staring at him… It makes him feel like he’s an open book and she’s examining him for flaws or seeking out something more of him. He really plays up his persona around her to compensate and to cover for that.

Ace

Classmates but not friends. He’s more like a bully. Raven tolerates him because they share the same homeroom. She thinks of him as an annoying little brother she has to "model" the correct behavior for.

He’s constantly teasing her for a variety of things: being short, being a brainiac, being related to the useless headmaster, etc. Raven tries to be the bigger person and ignore him, but there’s only so much she can take before snapping at him.

Occasionally steals glances at what she’s writing in her diary or snatches it from her to read the entries out loud. Tells her she has shit taste in men.

Raven thinks she’s more mature than Ace, but Ace sees right through her “lady” act and points out she’s more childish than she’d like to admit. He says she should be more honest with herself, but she never is. She probably avoids Ace if given the choice because she doesn’t like her lies/tsundere behavior being called out.

Deuce

Classmates, closer to being an acquaintance than Ace is. Though they’re not exactly friends, Raven thinks of Deuce a little more positively because it’s usually him who intervenes to tell Ace to “cut it out” or to “leave her alone”.

Deuce looks up to Raven as the honors student ideal. (Raven gets a slightly swelled ego because of this and thinks of herself as Ace and Deuce’s “big sis” figure.)

When he goes delinquent mode, Raven cowers in the corner until he has returned to normal. Can’t totally understand some of his delinquent slang. Probably repeated a few of the phrases to ask what they mean and Deuce apologizes for saying them in front of her.

She once heard that Deuce likes eggs and she looked at him horrified.

Leona

Calls Raven “Canary”. It's meant to be an ironic nickname, since despite her black feathers she tries to be bright and optimistic with him.

They started off having a really sour relationship because Leona has an attitude that Raven finds is difficult to work with. She sees a lot of her old self in him (disheartened, lost, not willing to try) and takes it upon herself to encourage him because she doesn't want to see him going down the same dark path she did. Unfortunately, Leona doesn't appreciate that he's her "charity case" and tends to put up resistance to her efforts.

Raven's REALLY skittish around him since he's a big cat and she's a bird--they're naturally predator and prey.

Leona saw her as super annoying back then; he doesn’t understand why she has so much faith in him when he has given up on himself. This frustration manifests in a few threats which definitely did not help the relationship.

Over time, I guess the two realize on their own how similar they are and they sort of soften up to one another. Leona starts to treat Raven a little nicer and finally acknowledges her for the "lady" that she is. "I can't quite place it, but Leona-san seems to be different somehow," she says. In a good mood + feels proud when she sees him in high spirits.

Raven really praises his intelligence and leadership abilities, but laments that he doesn't use them to their full extent.

They can bond over intellectual activities or something. Chess, reading books, etc.

Still get on each other's nerves by making verbal jabs. I guess that's the nature of a cat and bird, huh... Their relationship is very "Zazu-Scar" and "Beauty and the Beast" coded.

He's aware that she has a crush on Jade 💀 Angsts in private about not being "the one", why couldn't he have had this kind of support earlier in life, etc.

Ruggie

An acquaintance, forced to be cordial with him due to circumstances. Raven's often around campus doing odd jobs for her uncle, and she sometimes bumps into Ruggie (doing his own odd jobs). They chitchat here and there, but aren't super close.

Raven initially views Ruggie as "one of Leona-san's goons", but they become a little more amicable as Raven's relationship with Leona improves. Ruggie now comfortably teases her and commends her for putting up with the demands of their dorm leader.

He was the mediator for Leona and Raven back they didn't get along at all, asking Raven to cut Leona a little slack and telling Leona to lighten up with the birdie.

They share a love for shiny things and have a talent for finding edible plants. Sometimes they trade tips on the latter.

Jack

Raven's scared of Jack based solely on the principle that he looks intimidating. The first time they ever crossed paths, Raven took out her wallet and handed it to Jack (thinking that he was going to wail on her for her lunch money). He was very confused and handed the wallet back to her.

They don't talk. Like, at all. They only communicate on an as-needed basis, and even then it's difficult to get the ball rolling because Raven just freezes up when he looks at her. Jack very much reminds her of the wild predators she'd have to avoid in the forest.

She thinks it's cute when his ears twitch and his tail wags, but doesn't dare get close to him. Would prefer to stand on the other side of the room and shout at him.

... Jack doesn't get why she acts this way, isn't this way of communicating inefficient?

He tries to remain respectful of her since it seems like (in his eyes) she's friends with Ruggie-senpai and Leona-senpai. Wonders if there's something more there that he's not fully getting, but figures it's none of his business to ask about it.

Azul

Thought he was polite at first, but Raven eventually came to understand that his smile is, in fact, shady. She maintains a certain level of professionalism (given that he's a dorm leader), but she's pretty on edge around him otherwise. If he's nice to her, she assumes he wants something or has an ulterior motive.

Azul sees a lot of value in Raven due to her connection with the headmaster. He's always reaching out to her and 'offering" favors or items to get in her good graces. Often is rejected, but man doesn't know when to quit.

Though Raven doesn't like Azul or what he stands for, she thinks the Mostro Lounge is very comfortable and dines there on occasion. (Insists on paying full price when Azul tries to slide over a discount.)

Jade

Her crush

When Raven first arrived at NRC, she got really attached to Jade since he seemed like a kind and reliable gentleman. They had a falling out (after Raven learned that Jade was sent by Azul to manipulate her) and have been on rocky terms since. Unfortunately, a (very stupid) part of her is still attracted to him, though she strongly denies it.

He derives a lot of amusement from her overreactions to little things, like having their fingers brush against one another.

Raven keeps Jade at as much of a distance as she can. Sadly, he keeps popping up in her life (all orchestrated coincidences) to charm her. She convinces herself that he doesn't actually like her and that these are all calculated moves to get back on her good side.

Many of their interactions devolve into bickering, with Jade teasing her and Raven trying to fire back with something witty.

They're curious about each other's home biomes and true forms. Back when they were friends, they'd teach each other many new things on those topics.

Very vengeful towards those who are "too cruel" to Raven (because only he's allowed to be that mean to her :>). Offers to "take care" of them for her. She tells him not to, but isn't sure if he actually listens to her.

Floyd

Calls Raven “Black Pearly”/“Kuroshinju-chan”. Normally Floyd nicknames people after sea creatures--and notably, with Raven, he calls her an inanimate object from the ocean. This is intentional (from a meta perspective), as it highlights that Raven is an entity that doesn't quite "fit" within the school and the story.

Raven's not a fan. She can't deal with Floyd acting so unpredictably and rashly. He's such a headache, why can't he at least PRETEND to be polite like Jade does? (This comment really pisses Floyd off and makes him stomp off.)

He thinks she's boring but keeps starting shit to see if she'll react if he pokes the right buttons.

Makes fun of her because he sees her crush on his twin is sooo obvious. Doesn't understand why she has to overcomplicate things by hiding how she really feels. "Just do it already."

Kalim

Friends! But in small doses. Raven gets tired being with Kalim, who’s always so friendly and energetic, for extended periods of time. Cares for him in the same way a big sister might for a younger brother, even though Kalim is in the higher grade level.

Showers her with gifts, especially foods. He shows her his menagerie and encourages her to try petting tigers or something 💀 Kalim had a big heart and shares a lot of what he has with her.

He listens to her worries about connecting with others and fitting in. Not good at wording his advice, but encourages her to keep trying and that he’ll always be there for her!

Raven finds Kalim’s cheer refreshing but worries that people could take advantage of his naïveté like she was (by Jade). Tries to protect him from shady types of characters.

Jamil

Not exactly friends, but they see each other and immediately see the tired mom energy. There’s a mutual understanding between them.

Raven takes shifts with Jamil to help Kalim with his assignments. Helps keep an eye on his dorm leader when he’s up to his neck with other tasks. It’s like they’re coparenting 😭

She often finds herself staring at his hair accessories. When she was less accustomed to human life, she yanked on one of them and earned his ire for the next several weeks. Jamil has cooled off since then, but he’ll bring it up subtly if he’s annoyed with her.

Vil

Calls Raven “Shetland potato”. (Yes, I know Shetland is an irl location that doesn’t exist in Twst; just assume Shetland is an old fashioned way of saying Shaftlands/it’s a variety of potato from the Shaftlands.)

She approached Vil first and nervously asked him for etiquette lessons (since she wanted to know how to be more human and “ladylike”), which he agreed to. Vil’s pleasantly surprised that she had the agency to seek self improvement like this, so now his expectations of her are set really high.

Raven admires Vil’s mastery of potionology and tries her best to emulate him in the lab. Her technique is a little clumsy, but her heart’s in the right place. She also loves his sense of fashion since she lacks the confidence to pull off the daring looks that Vil does.

He’s like the stern, icy older brother she never had. Vil doesn’t go out of his way to help her out (he wants her to learn to fend for herself), but he’s there if she needs advice or help dressing for an occasion.

One of the few guys she can go to for “girl talk”. Raven tries to keep who she’s talking about vague, but Vil always sees right through her and tells her it’s a poor choice.

Rook

Calls Raven “mon petit oiseau”. Later on (like, after Raven becomes more confident in her identity), he'll switch over to the nickname "Conteuse des Corbeaux".

A good friend! If not a little too over eager. Raven was definitely put-off but him at first, but he grew on her over time. She loves listening to him wax poetic; it inspires her in her own creative endeavors—and his cheer is so infectious!

They share a love for the arts and sit around trading their takes on the latest movie or play or art piece they saw. Sometimes he reads and offers critique of her latest work.

Lives for the tea. Besides Vil, he’s one of the other guys Raven can talk to about love. Problem is, Rook is content watching her try to find her way (there’s something romantic about it!) and vaguely encourages her to “follow her heart’s desire”.

Tries to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe too much. (“I-I’m sure Rook-senpai has a perfectly good reason for breaking into your dorm room to leave a rose on your pillow… r-right?”)

They sometimes whisper stuff to each other in bird.

Epel

Epel has beef with her cuz she's a raven (aka one of those pest animals that wreak havoc on his village's crops!). Stares at her from a distance with kind of a grumpy face.

He doesn't really act on that beef because Vil will whoop his ass for being rude and provoking a fight with his peer. If he's in a situation where he has to talk with Raven, Epel will do his best to put on that soft, sweet polite facade that Vil has taught him.

Raven has zero clue what Epel's saying when he speaks in his accent. Asks him to repeat himself, which annoys him.

Idia

Raven thinks he’s basically a ghost that haunts Ignihyde. Does that guy ever go out and get sunshine??? (Raven thinks that, but she’s a hypocrite because she also holes up in her room… writing…)

Doesn’t really have an opinion of him since he’s so withdrawn and they barely interact. However, she doesn’t like it when he acts all high and mighty about the media he consumes. Raven thinks it discourages people from giving the media a shot because he’s making it seem so unappealing.

She also thinks his laugh and general presence is

a little eerie. Maybe she’ll get cursed if she bathes in his negative miasma for too long.

Even though they don’t know each other irl, I think it would be funny if Raven posted her writing online and Idia was one of her biggest fans 😭 Like this guy religiously likes, comments, and shares every post…

Ortho

Calls Raven “Raven Crowley-san”.

They’re friends! Little buddies experiencing a lot of their firsts and exploring the world and its oddities together.

Ortho is very pragmatic while Raven has a big imagination and tends to daydream. They balance each other out well.

He tells Raven about his older brother (which is how she first learned about Idia’s existence.) “Eh… Ortho-san, you have a difficult sibling like that…?” She feels bad for him 💦 but respects him for having the patience to deal with that.

Ortho thinks Raven’s an interesting subject to observe and gather data on. It’s not every day that he gets to do this! He’ll be sure to collect accurate readings on her.

Malleus

Calls Raven "the young Crowley".

Because Malleus is often missing from dorm leader meetings, Raven has to either go fetch him for them or deliver the meeting notes to him. He’s thankful for her help but doesn’t engage with her outside of these instances.

Raven is pretty neutral about Malleus?? She respects him and all, but doesn’t get involved with him more than she thinks she should. Malleus is the same way with Raven; he doesn’t think much of her beyond her duties.

Malleus was slightly amused by Raven standing up to him during GloMasq; he announces his intent to strike Rollo down but Raven insists they hear him out. Since then, he’s kept an eye on her and wonders if she’ll have the audacity to do it again.

I imagine that Raven goes to Briar Valley to serve as a royal scribe or messenger for Malleus in her fourth year internship. This would lend them a Maleficent-Diablo dynamic.

Lilia

Acquaintances, mostly because Raven communicates with him about dorm leader meetings or sometimes passes meeting notes to him if she cannot find Malleus herself.

He commends her for being a bright girl but thinks she could make do with loosening up a little. Takes delight in popping up out of nowhere to spook her.

Believes that Malleus and Raven are friends. (They’re not.)

Lilia jokingly asks his boys who they think os cuter: Raven or him? It’s definitely him, right? 🥺

Raven has the inkling that Lilia is a lot older than he seems just based on the stories he tells when he has the chance to. She loves listening to them and dreams about traveling to those places too.

Silver

Friends, but not right away. Raven used to be scared of Silver because he looks intimidating when he stares at you. Still, she feels oddly drawn to him anyway. It must be his princely aura drawing in all the local wildlife… including her 😭 For a long while, she just observed Silver from a distance.

Once she learns Silver’s actually very normal and even sweet (most likely from the neighborhood birds), Raven settles in nicely by his side. For example, she might work on writing while Silver dozes off beside her on a warm afternoon.

Models some characters in her stories off of Silver. He’s so gallant! (Raven complains that the other NRC students should be more like him. Silver doesn’t understand what she means.)

He’s dense, but he’s a good boy. Will help her grab or carry things she can’t on her own. However, Silver is useless with other matters. Like if he sees Raven and Jade bickering, Silver will intervene and try to help “sort out the misunderstanding” so they can all be friends.

Sebek

(Loudly) calls Raven “Bird”.

Frenemies…? Sebek talks down to Raven and demeans her like he does many of his peers, but sometime around GloMasq he came to the conclusion that she must be a long lost relative of Malleus's and develops a sense of respect for her. Since then, he has been acting like an eager puppy that trails after Raven and says/does things in hopes of earning her praise.

Raven is confused by his shift in demeanor and wonders why he's suddenly being so nice to her... Not that she's complaining, but it took a while to get used to.

She's still a little intimidated by his looks and loudness.

Book buddies! They give each other recommendations and discuss their latest reads.

Crowley

Calls Raven “my adorable little niece”, sometimes “Raven-kun”.

He's your typical bumbling/silly but well-meaning father figure. Irresponsibly offloads many of his responsibilities onto her. She also often serves as a messenger to Yuu on behalf of Crowley. Usually apologizing for him.

Not above using Raven to make himself appear competent to potential sponsors and donors. Crowley uses a combination of fake tears, bribes, and flattery to get her to act in his favor.

Despite this, she cares for him and he cares for her too. Raven just wishes Crowley would step up sometimes!!

Crewel

She’s scared of him, especially when he raises his voice (even if the scolding isn’t directed at her). Works hard in his class to avoid his ire.

He sees a lot of potential in her, but dislikes that Raven lacks a spine. Crewel often picks on her in class in an effort to get her to be more confident in herself and to learn how to speak up.

Trein

Raven likes Trein! He provides her with a sense of warm and grandfatherly comfort. She's never had a grandpa before, so she considers Trein something akin to that.

Sometimes stays after class to ask questions or just to chat with him. He appreciates this since some of the other first years act out or don't have an interest in the subjects he teaches.

Trein keeps things professional; he feels that a teacher and a student should remain in those roles and not cross those boundaries. However, he lets Raven know that if she needs any guidance, his door is always open. Maybe that's his empty nest syndrome speaking.

Lucius

The one cat Raven isn't immediately apprehensive about, if only because Trein reassures her that Lucius is gentle.

He chills in Trein's lap while they talk.

If he's in a good mood, he might bat a paw at her or let Raven stroke him. She calls him a "very good boy".

Vargas

Slightly intimidated by Vargas's physique and gung-ho attitude. She admires his enthusiasm for self-improvement, but isn't so sure about his methods.

He doesn't let the fact that she's a girl deter him from pushing her hard! If anything, Vargas declares that she has to work two times as hard to prove herself and build some muscle! Raven always leaves his class hugging and puffing, sweaty, and red in the face... but also feeling super proud of herself.

Traumatized by that one time she witnessed Vargas down five dozen raw eggs for breakfast.

Sam

Business owner and customer--there's nothing more to it than that! Sam sees Raven as a particularly valuable customer due to her need for specific ingredients to concoct her enchanted inks. Occasionally puts aside a rare find and lets her know about it for a good deal.

Raven's thankful to Sam for filling in the ingredient gaps for her. Though, uh... she begs of him to stop placing bets with her uncle about whether or not he can buy out his stock.

Yuu

Cordial enough classmates. They're in the same homeroom which is convenient for when Raven has to pass messages or tasks from Crowley to them.

Willing and able to help Yuu out whenever they ask for it.

[Insert other information as desired; varies widely depending on what kind of Yuu features here.]

Ramshackle Ghosts

Raven greets them like they're her friendly neighbors.

The ghosts treat her like that nice Girl Scout from down the lane that stops by every so often to offer them cookies.

Grim

Brings a tuna can as a peace offering. Pushes it to Grim using a stick. Makes him promise to not bite her or set her on fire. Raven walks on eggshells around him.

Grim is mildly insulted by her acting like he's a monster. "I'm a civilized mage too, yanno!!" (He eats her peace offering anyway.)

Neige

Raven mostly knows him from all his appearances as a celebrity. Doesn't think much of him other than "oh, he's cute" or "he's like a fairy tale princess".

Upon welcoming Neige to NRC for the cultural festival, she's surprised to see him being so princess-like in person as well. To Raven, Neige almost doesn't seem real.

Neige gives off a very inviting aura that makes Raven feel welcome and comfortable in his presence, even though they just met.

He'd treat her as he does all of his fans, in a very sweet and pure manner. Might be interested to know that she's a raven; Neige could think it's cool or invite her to join in on their song since ravens count as a songbird. She gets embarrassed and says she can't possibly do such a thing.

Chenya

Another cat boy? Big nope for Raven. Her bird instincts are shouting at her to keep away. Chenya's a lazy sort of cat, so he seems fine to be around (especially since Riddle and Trey vouch for him). They're basically strangers though.

Raven stares at him as he picks up a slice of cake and chomps through it, then asks for seconds. Her only impressions of him are that he's sneaky and kind of a glutton.

Chenya thinks Raven's sorta funny. He teaches her some bad cat puns and asks her a variety of nonsensical questions just to see how she responds.

Loves spooking her by appearing out of nowhere or poking her while he’s still invisible.

Cheka

Calls her "ojitan's friend". Cheka is 100% convinced that Raven is besties with Leona.

She thinks he's a lost child and takes him by the hand to take him to help him reunite with his parents. (Cheka thinks Raven is a lost child too.)

He's a little ball of fur and energy! Cheka runs all over the place and wears Raven down real fast. She's never been so eager to hand the kid off and be rid of him (though she tries her best to smile and wave good-bye).

Rollo

HE HATES EVERYONE, INCLUDING RAVEN.

... But Raven doesn't want to give up on him! She insists on being his pen pal and keeping in touch, since she feels that a large part of why he broke down was not having people to talk to or to support him. Rollo's forced into this situation... but no matter how often he tells her to quit this, she won't let up!

He finds her extremely bothersome, of course. (Rollo won't admit that there's sort of a comfort in including this in his routine, that it's nice to have somewhere to vent and let loose his bottled rage.)

At some point, he extends the offer to listen to her woes about the NRC boys, whom he is certain are sin incarnate.

What? No, they are NOT friends. Absolutely NOT. (His aide and vice president think they are.)

Fellow

Calls Raven the “lil’ lady” of Night Raven College.

Picks on her. Steals her food, takes her books, etc.

Such an ass-kisser (he's hoping to get sympathy and then leech resources off of her). Gets Gidel to play along with his schemes too. Alas... Raven does, in fact, feel something for their situation.

She's highly suspicious of him. Doesn't like it when he acts overly familiar and touches her on the arm or shoulder... or cocks that smug, suspiciously crooked smile.

Raven likes it when Fellow allows his inner child to come out; it's nice to see that he's still able to keep dreaming as an adult, she thinks.

Gidel

To Raven, Gidel's some kid that Fellow strings along in his schemes. She's much more forgiving of him compared to Fellow and does her best to read his body language to understand what he's trying to communicate.

Gidel's curious about her. She's a scholar, right? Wow, he wants to know what that's like! He just kinda stares at her with big, eager eyes.

Skully

He acts like they’re BFFs but Raven tries to keep him at a comfortable distance. Skully (wrongly) assumes that she's his ally and will agree with him on everything.

She thinks that Skully acts and talks like a character from a fairy tale, but in practice she's a little put off by how touchy-feely he is. Raven will let him kiss the back of her hand, but when he's not looking, she'll gently wipe it off on her skirt.

She'll happily sit there and listen to him ramble for hours about Halloween and the traditions of his village. Raven loves a good story!

She acts as the mediator when Skully butts heads with other people about his hyperfixation and idol. It's not very effective, but someone has to do it.

[deerainy]

I think that Dean is honestly one of the best eldest siblings ever written. I'm currently on season 9 and I'm still deeply affected by the ending of season 2. As an older sister myself who had to look after my little sister and fix up her wounds when my parents weren't around I know how it feels. It's so rare to see such a well portrayed parentified older sibling and I'm grateful for it. I particularly like how they are written, a lot of people hate Dean for his misogynistic view of women especially in the earlier seasons and honestly at first I was a little disturbed by it and then I realised it was actually so accurate, what I'm trying to say is that Dean never got to be a child, the way he jokes about literally everything and seems to be a 'womaniser' is because he wants to be noticed. I don't want anyone to start saying 'no it's because of his mommy issues' shut up it's not!!! He has to put on an act, a persona and he chose the persona of a womaniser who doesn't give a shit about anyone and doesn't care much about objectifying women in public because he wants to be seen that way. He wanted his little brother to look up to him and see a father figure. I know it doesn't make much sense really but I get it, it's hard because at the same time I'm very aware he's written by men and what I'm analysing is just my view on this but, to write a man who cries so often, who shows so often vulnerability that to men with a fragile masculinity see as 'pathetic' (aka John) seems to be opposing the other side of his character who is a douche bag, it seems to me that it was written purposely. Dean is nothing like his father, he isn't a douche with a fragile masculinity, he is vulnerable and he cares so deeply about everyone. He had to put up this persona in order to survive, because he needed to be seen as the tough guy with strength and who doesn't let women be his equal, he was playing the part of a misogynistic douche to survive. Again that's just how I see it, but his character development to me is honestly the biggest proof of that, he got tired over the years of playing this role and then Castiel arrived and I believe that he showed him that men are really nothing, that the world is much bigger than himself and I think Castiel's arrival gave him faith, it's a faith he had never had before, the proof that God exists no matter if he cares or not, he exists and that I think changed everything, he was saved by this angel who saw in him a great potential. For the first time in his life he was the first choice, he was seen as who he really is so he dropped his act and little by little became the good man he was always.

Again I'm pretty tired I should have been asleep hours ago and I'm just yapping but yeah I miss my sister and god he's so relatable, I wish an angel could save me like me when I'm tired

feel free to debate with me thehehe

i love to read too much into things like ik it's not that deep but leave me alone I like making things deep

[milkiie]

𝐴𝑁 𝐴𝐶𝑇𝑈𝐴𝐿𝐿𝑌 𝐻𝐸𝐿𝑃𝐹𝑈𝐿 𝐿𝑂𝐴 𝐺𝑈𝐼𝐷𝐸

everyone wants to talk about how the law is effortless, manifestation is effortless, but it seems to me nobody wants to talk about the effort one has to put in before being able to effortlessly apply it. manifesting is tied to general well-being, mindset and energy, and it is not the same for everybody. i've seen one too many people getting asks from others with genuine questions and giving them no guidance, no compassion, just buzz words, mantras and snark; so, here: an actually helpful guide to loa and manifestation, where i actually tell you things

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🎀 ̟ !! step 1 : self concept

self concept is the way you perceive and treat yourself.

here is a video explaining it in depth:

now that we know what it is and what makes a good, high self concept, here are some specific ideas on how to boost it:

first, it is important to develop a sense of self and identity. get to know yourself, find out who you are and what you really want, what fulfills you. i like to use journaling for this

here are some prompts for you to use:

and some subliminals, if you'd like to use them:

1. 432Hz frequency + self-concept by iwiigi: 🌸

2. mindset + self-concept by moza morph: 🍨

3. self concept by Alice's Enchanted Cottage: 💕

➙ you do not have to use subliminals, but i personally love to

some other ways to boost your self concept:

᯽ practice self care. physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually

᯽ discipline your thoughts. don't let your inner bully run their mouth

᯽ validate yourself, praise yourself, celebrate yourself

᯽ work on healing your inner child

᯽ do things that make you feel confident - wear your makeup, hair and clothes how you like it, dance sexily in your room, pretend to be a celebrity, whatever it takes to feel like you are it

᯽ spend quality time with yourself, doing things that make you happy

᯽ do nice things for others. simple things like smiling at people, or complimenting someone do wonders both for them, and yourself

REMEMBER: you don't need to do any of this, these are just ideas; do what feels right for you

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🎀 ̟ !! step 2 : align with receiving

this is what hinders most people in receiving their manifestations, and it is not your fault. it can be hard to receive effortlessly, especially if you are used to only giving, or having to work hard to receive. that is what the world has taught you.

work on becoming comfortable with receiving without endeavor, and on not feeling indebted or inadequate. this is why self concept is important. you will not receive what you do not feel worthy of. you will not receive if you don't feel comfortable accepting.

to become more comfortable with receiving, all you have to do is treat yourself! not just materially, but spiritually and emotionally. lavish yourself with care, compliments, little treats, rest, partaking in things that bring you enjoyment, etc. keep reminding yourself you deserve only the best, both by affirming, and actually giving yourself the good things. even if you feel you haven't been "productive", choose to spoil yourself. choose to live deliciously.

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🎀 ̟ !! step 3 : really embrace the simplicity

please, stop reading posts that use huge, abstract words and tell you to "just do" something. stop engaging with blogs that put people down or refuse to explain. they are bringing down your vibration, and they are complicating the law beyond all recognition. just do what feels right

you wanna use methods? use them!

feel drawn to practicing spells? go ahead!

subliminals look cool to you? wonderful!

you feel right just deciding and carrying on? hell yeah!

whatever you do to manifest your desires, be it affirming, making a vision board, scripting, SATS, or whatever else, as long as it feels good, it will work.

follow your happiness and your intuition. trust yourself. stop seeking validation from the outside, just do what you think is best

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🎀 ̟ !! step 4 : coping with perceived lack

now, we all know you aren't actually lacking. if you have decided to manifest something, it is yours. but what if you don't see it in your perceived reality? you don't have to ignore the illusion of lack. in fact, i would say it is self-limiting to attempt that

instead, make peace with waiting

understand that the moment you decide something is yours, movement starts, even if not visible to you in your surroundings yet. the moment you decide, you begin to align with your desire, and the universe starts to work on getting it to you. it is like online shopping. placing your order is instant, but it takes a little bit of time for it to actually get into your hands. and just like with a package, while you wait for your manifestation to get to you, you don't need to stress about it. just do what feels good and live your best life, do what makes you happy. you don't need to pretend you already have it. you just need to live in the knowing that you will. persist in the knowing.

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

ok the way gem actually was walking towards pearl's general area while pearl was holding the mace. and idk if she actually saw pearl but im pretty sure gem looked up, turned back and walked right to where skizz asked her to??? and pearl just had to stand there and watch as gem basically gave the kill to skizz. like ohhh my god i have so many thoughts about this but all i can say rn is what in the world of yuri.

- 🐫

it’s so funny how they spent half their episodes effectively trying to provoke the other person as much as possible

i mean, do i even need to explain. they want each other baaaaad. on surface it might seem like another failing-to-kill-gem bit, especially with the comical sequences of pearl putting down the creeper eggs and gem easily dodging. however, both pearl and gem approach their “designated” roles of would-be killer and exasperated target a little differently than they did before. pearl doesn’t try her best, and gem doesn’t mock her like she did mumbo/tango.

gem and pearl hold each other in high esteem. even when they hate each other they obviously still respect the other’s skill. i suspect this is part of why gem was so offended when pearl tried to “2v1” her with impulse; because pearl was being stupid by underestimating herself, and then obviously because it was SL all over again.

let’s not even talk about both of them beelining for a camel. this is by far the number one WL ship right now in terms of content and actual interactions (besides ethubs). it’s not shipper mind, they’re actively pulling these stunts to see how crazy they can drive the fandom. like, the thirsty comment, “my poor red pearl”, “gem you’re beautiful”??? i swear they’re scheming on discord before recording or something (jk i know they aren’t).

cc!pearl did mention on stream that she should probably back off which is funny because it shows she didn’t pick up the obvious social cues that gem wanted to give her a chance by offering a 1v1 instead of flat out saying “don’t kill me” or “you suck at killing me”. also, if there are other pearl stream watchers reading this post, you would know that pearl said the same thing about not wanting to bother gem too much over the pickle bit, which is why she dropped it so suddenly. honestly very considerate of her

as for their convo on the camel. gem is explicitly grasping at straws over the end portal thing, but “did you even look me in the face during the murder camel… thing” is a great one-liner out of context. i thought it was going to be like a “you couldn’t even face me properly” but no it was just over the yellow life skin. pearl defending the disloyal allegations by saying scar was her ally is funny as well because it was the exact same argument she gave scott and i don’t think she understands that gem and scott have very different priorities. and gem clarifies she wasn’t upset over the betrayal (suree) but over the 2v1 which reveals some interesting things about her character and moral code which i’ll leave to the gem mains*. i do hope pearl keeps up the “how much do you love/hate me” thing though it’s a funny bit in general, plays into the pining/unmoved dynamic, and opens up the conversation. fluff duo that wants to be angst so badly

and if you’re following me and for some reason don’t watch gem or pearl, please do. there’s a reason why everyone’s saying they’re flirting because they’re toeing the line as close as you can.

what can i even add to this. it’s like going to a michelin restaurant and pointing out that the food is good.

*i always say this but i am effectively a gem main. i think her character is just too difficult for me and i don’t want to admit that i can’t figure out how to approach it

[aveadore]

Tumblr, hear out my Arcane thoughts. Some of it is slander, though, so don’t read if it’ll bum you out. In the end, I decided to go with one topic mostly, because I had too much to say.

Spoilers, obviously

Tw: suicide

The way the show handles suicide is SO irresponsible. Call it heroic sacrifice, if you must, but I won’t. The same song that played before, during Jinx’s attempts, played again, during her sacrifice, so the intention is clear.

Do they not realize that so many people that relate to Jinx in some ways are watching it? It’s like they are trying to say: “yes, your intrusive thoughts are right, you are better off not being there. It’s best for your loved ones, if you disappear.” So weird. And, fine, she’s probably not dead. But why hide it? Why not make her end be, openly: “sometimes, you can only heal if you cut everyone off and start anew” Fine. That would be way better. I just can’t believe that such a high profile show, in year 2024, uses suicide in such an irresponsible way. Makes it “cool” looking, gives vulnerable people a playlist, actually. Says “wait a minute, not yet”, and later LETS HER FINISH IT? Wft. Like it’s okay? Like it’s a good end for her?

Isha’s story is also part of this problem. I can’t believe her earlier end was not mentioned later. What was the point of it? Was it a good thing for a seven year old to sacrifice herself? You would think so, they way the show sidesteps the whole thing. The way Jinx is repeating what Isha had done, with no reflection on it. I also have no idea WHY Isha has done it. Was it a consequence of something someone else did, or said? Didn’t seem so. Jinx didn’t really fuck that one up, I think. I thought Isha was jinx’s foil, but it ended up not meaning anything. Was it going to show Jinx her own actions as a child, so she could find some empathy towards Vi? But Isha was not mentioned, so who knows what they were trying to say.

Summary of my other opinions, with no details as it’s too long already:

-I liked Victor and Jayce’s ending. Their relationship had enough time/buildup throughout the whole series to pull of the weight of it. It was a little bit rushed at times, but not as much as the rest of S2.

-I absolutely hated how they handled Cait, and she definitely ended up as my most disliked character.

-Mel was one of my favourites, but her story was the most rushed one is S2. I also wasn’t crazy happy that she also ended up mostly fighting at the end. I have no idea what the Black Rose lady was talking about with the whole empathy thing.

-I really liked episode 7, it was the best one from S2. Because they focused only on Ekko and Jayce, the story had time to breathe. The whiplash between their parts was crazy, but in a good way.

-The way they introduced the third faction, just so all main characters could unite was such a cop-out. The systemic problems were much too big to just be fixed by that, and the show just brushes it all under the rug. And the end is just fighting. Ugh.

-Well, it was obviously very pretty. Every frame a perfect picture and all that. Weird complaint, but some designs were “too good”. Too polished. Too much like a high-end commercial for a new skin that costs 200$. It was so distracting for me :P Especially with some Victor “outfits”

-The biggest, most pervasive problem was the time. So much stuff, so little time. It should have been three seasons. There was no time to breathe, no time to understand what’s going on. Characters running from one massive scene to next, with no build-up in between. Just so everyone can end up similar enough to their LoL variant. A bit disappointing.

[astro-is-a-bigot]

Hi! I assume this post is about us but reading back through our post (had to do this because of amnesia and wanting to recall exactly what I'd typed) and I realised that I had made a complete misstep in anger, encouraging "flooding his inbox and notifications with hatred" which is so non-specific and not helped by my follow-up statements making it seem as if I would be okay harassing Astro on the same level or even worse than what he is done. This is such a big mistake I will likely private that post - but I'm currently thinking about how I can do that without making it look like I'm erasing those actions.

Note that the following explanation doesn't excuse that, but I will use this to articulate my stance properly.

Like firstly... I completely forgot that death threats were a thing someone might send to Astro. Straight up. I don't know why. I was more thinking along the lines of, "you suck!!" or "get off the site!!" which are kind of mean but definitely nothing along the lines of wishing Astro death. If I had wanted that I would be out here advocating for doxxing-- Which is absolutely not what I want!! As I've been trying to articulate in my follow up posts, I want him to be deplatformed - specifically from Tumblr! Xe can go exist on Reddit for all I care, it's whatever.

And my follow up being, "wouldn't this be wishing violence on Astro?" was so brushed off in my response that, again, it did not come across well. But when it comes to harassment, there's often people who will try to make out like the actions of people banning someone and getting kind of mean towards them is on the same level as the harasser themselves - which completely ignores the context.

The reason sending a bigoted hate towards someone is not necessarily equivalent to sending hate judging someone's morals is - as I believe I've tried to articulate - the difference between upholding bigotry and dismantling it. So while there are lines you don't want to cross, I can't say I'm going to be sympathetic to a bigot if they get sent some mean messages. And this point can easily become frustrating to explain when in one breath people will state to victims "just block the harasser", and yet someone sending a mean message to the harasser themselves results in the critique "you shouldn't be doing that!!" I address this in this post with the following:

[Harassers] also like to define what is "being a good person" because they're betting on you holding yourself to that. They count on your good graces to make you complacent because they tell you, "you wouldn't want to stoop down to our level, would you?" But you know what happens when you don't let the shitty person define for you what being moral is? You get shit done.

In general, I also made the assumption that others would have the same restraint as what I do (I personally have Astro blocked and would never catch myself getting in a back and forth with xem), but that's not what most others do. They don't leave an ask stating, "get off the site" and proceed to block Astro, report him, etc - he insults the other to bait them into starting a reblog chain, and they often fall for it. That is absolutely the kind of behaviour that feeds a troll. (Which I wanna note I still blame Astro for that because I'm not here to victim blame people. If someone gets emotional after being misgendered and sexually harassed, I don't see it as being "on them" for being baited. Especially since it's never okay to sexually harass someone, even if they were "asking for it". Ew.)

So that's a very long explanation of everything, but I hope it clarifies my views. And if you need further elaboration I will provide it. But I'm very sorry to everyone for being so aggressive and completely blundering my initial posts. I hope that doesn't stop others from seeing my point and helping to kick Astro off the site because, it must be said, the one thing that absolutely stops harassers from engaging with their behaviour is when you take away the means to do it...

So yes, deplatforming is very practical behaviour that does not feed the trolls! And if that requires making documents or blogs archiving bad behaviour and calling for action, that is not (contrary to how it appears) "feeding" the behaviour. It is, in fact, necessary to communicate and coordinate as a community to counteract harassment.

friendly reminder that no, death threats are not okay. no, not even to someone that "deserves it". who the fuck are you to determine that. you are not doing some Good Thing even if you see them as a Bad Person. that's a real slippery slope. it's not gonna make them want to change, either, bc why would you change for someone who's saying you should die. this is also about telling people to kill themselves btw. and don't try to justify it bc there's genuinely no way to that doesn't circle back to "it's okay when i do it" and/or "it was justified bc they're Bad™". hope this helps. 👍🏾

[thebookwormdaydreamer]

Highly recommend not taking recs from booktok or booktwt to be honest. Doing your own research regarding the kind of books you want to read is extremely rewarding and also personally, I think it helps you develop your taste in books outside of what’s popular or trending.

Sometimes bookish social media can feel like one big book club so it’s easy to fear missing out on something, but reading only what’s popular can lead to reading stuff you don’t enjoy.

[mermaidsirennikita]

People are ridiculously entitled and it’s genuinely so disheartening. Books are someone’s ART. You don’t just get to alter a name in someone else’s creative work. (I’m appalled people out there think this is remotely acceptable - writers are not court jesters nor do they exist to please everyone - no human being nor their creative work does, in fact!) Thanks for putting your various responses out there! Here’s hoping people learn to respect and appreciate artists and creators once again

Quoth Nora Roberts:

I am not here to be a slave to certain reader’s wants, needs, whims. Again, I write what I write, and these are MY characters, in my books. Not yours. They are yours to enjoy or not, but they belong to me, they come from me...

You don’t have to agree, but I’m not writing for your particular point of view. Again, I’ve explained my reasons for this. I won’t do so again. My characters, my books, my decision. If you want something else, read something else.

And yes, I said that, too. Blast away, it changes nothing. I am not obliged to meet an individual’s demands.

So.

First off:

If you're really super chill about the idea of being able to change what writers write just because you didn't like a detail you think is small and irrelevant, I would sincerely encourage you to read La Nora's full thoughts on similar issues... and yeah, I'm gonna equate something as "small" as a name with what Nora's talking about here. Because it is ALL the author's domain. I've never personally subscribed to the idea that a work "isn't yours anymore" once it's out in the world. The way people interpret and interact with it isn't yours, sure. But it's still your creation, and you should be the only person with control over the content.

... and sometimes, I, as a reader, don't like what authors do with their content. I get it. I don't like that Lisa Kleypas edited her work years after publishing it, because I'm big on the "own what you wrote originally even if it's uncomfy" train... (for the most part--editing the fetishization of Cam and Kev would've made sense to me). And I don't think there's anything wrong with readers pointing out problematic shit in a writer's work, offering critique in an open forum, as Smart Bitches, Trashy books did when reading Hello, Stranger, which I speculate may have prompted some of Lisa's edits.

But! I can't say that it would ever be my right as a reader to, say, use future technology to tell my reading device "edit out the times Cam says shit that reads super fetishized". It's just kind of repellent to me to imagine rewriting someone's work in any way without their permission. Fuck, I don't even like the idea of estates releasing sequels or revised versions of books unless the author indicated that such was in their wishes in their will. (See: the TWO official Gone with the Wind sequels/prequels/whatever authorized by Margaret Mitchell's estate.)

We, as readers, have our lanes. The writers have theirs. And sometimes, as writers, they do tiny things or BIG things in their lanes that we dislike. (I love Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series, for the most part. I really, REALLY hate the most recent book in the series. HATE. IT. But the only thing I can do about that shit is just pretend that book never happened, which I actually can fairly efficiently because I do in fact control what my brain does. Or, seek out books that give me what that series didn't with that most recent book. Sierra Simone's do a bangin' job.) But you know... Not only do I not think it is safe for me to merge into their lane... I don't want writers to feel like they have to submit to demand and give away pieces of their work in order to keep selling.

(And honestly? For the vast majority, I don't think it would make enough of a difference anyway--writers are often sold bills of goods with new strategies or tech. "This will change the way you sell books". Most writers won't ever be able to write full time anyway, and I find the way that this fantasy that you'll be able to do otherwise with THIS TECH optimizing your writing time, or THIS SUBSCRIPTION increasing the eyeballs that will see your book... Scammy. Not all of it's bad! But the selling strategy that you'll make more money... If you're selling on KU, if five extra people buy your book you're still making pennies, so it's gotta be more than one thing that converges to create the sale, and a lot of that, I gotta say, is word of mouth and people just LIKING YOUR SHIT. And I'd argue that they're more likely to like your shit if you're invested as a writer.)

Second:

No need to thank me! I honestly think that the majority of readers do appreciate what writers do (or don't feel either way about it and just read like people have always read lol) but I don't know. I can't really tell what it is--the sort of "fandom" that's been created around books (and like, author fan clubs and such have always existed, but obviously the accessibility is so different), new tech developing very rapidly when for centuries books were relatively stagnant technologically speaking, the fanficification of EVERY type of media it feels like... But the sense of entitlement that certain readers feel does seem to have grown. Or maybe it's simply become more visible. I mean, Nora Roberts has from the dawn of her writing career taken off had fans that can communicate with her, and I'm sure many have written letters like "Go give these characters a baby :(".

My biggest thing is always going to be this: some books ain't gonna be for you. There are books that sound so Caroline. I read them, and for whatever reason--writing style, one character choice, something ephemeral I can't name--they aren't. Everyone else loves these books. I'd love to love these books. I'd love to discuss these books. I'm not in the party. And that's FINE. Not every party is going to be a party I'm down for! One of my best friends loooooves Tessa Bailey and Tessa-like contemporaries. Tessa, by and large, doesn't work for me. So my friend and I can't discuss a lot of books in depth. Do I wish historicals worked for her so that I could nerd out with her? Sure! But I can't make something that doesn't work for her work for her, and I can't make Tessa's books work for me.

And I know that people will be like "it's just a name bitch", but... it's a slippery slope to me, just like ALL of AI and AI-related tech has been a slippery slope. Like, y'all said AI wasn't gonna be a big deal and would just make things easier, and people are now selling AI-written books under their names. Everyone said that authors would have control over how AI interacted with their books, and books are being scraped for AI on the daily.

I do not want anyone to have final control over what is and isn't in a book but the person who wrote the book. I do not want writers to feel like they need to cede any amount of control over the copy in that book over to readers in order to succeed.

And I honestly think it would be a lot healthier for everyone involved if we as readers (viewers, general audiences) just accepted that we don't get everything we want, and creatives are not here to dance to our tune. They are people, and they want to tell the stories they want to tell. Your power? Is in your dollar. If you don't like that shit, don't buy it. If you don't want to support it... don't! Fuck, if you want to talk shit on the internet about how the most recent book in the series was absolutely not for you, that's your right, too.

I don't want you fucking with a single word on the page, though. Feel free to go write your own shit--prosper! But that part of what Nora said that rings true to me most is "they come from me". These books come from writers. You have them because of those writers. So, I don't know, dude. Just take what's there, and if you dislike it, spit it out and move on to the thing you will like. Authors aren't churn factories to produce what you want, and ROMANCE as a genre, however commercial it is and however much it does have that One Rule that defines it as a genre... Is still something that writers should be allowed to experiment with. That's the work writers put in. The work readers put in? Finding shit that works for us. And I'm telling you... With a little practice, it ain't hard. How do y'all think I have all these books to recommend? Lmao

[burningfaith]

Nezha haters so delusional it's only matter of time untill they start blaming him for literally anything bad that happens in the other books written by Kuang

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

y’know if there’s one good thing that came out of the book of bill, it’s that you can’t take it as canon and be a proponent of same coin theory at the same time

[dirt-str1der]

Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy

[pallases]

submitted my first app 😖

[danthropologie]

.

[insanechayne]

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