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thelunarfairy · 5 hours ago
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Index (continuation)
THEORIES:
Let's play again
Tsukasa's age
ANALYZES:
Hmmm……Tsunene?
The butterfly metaphor 🦋
You stopped to think that technically the Mitsuba who is in this reality never died, and if he never died, he wasn't "killed" again by Tsukasa and Mitsuba 2, the one who devoured number 3's heart, technically never existed
JSHK Chapter 116 – Brief Analysis.
YUGI TWINS:
That boy was still that boy
The same hole.
Sonnet of the Twins
All relationships have one law: never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you're there.
ASKS:
Do you have any ideas or theories about why Kou still has the seal on his weapon?
i just wanted to point out Nenes great character development in these few chapters(especially 115) where she changes from obsessing over any guy to just plainly admitting her love for Hanako . Obviously in this recent chapter we see this , and I just love it .
Tsukasa travels through time . Does this make the entity control him and change his form and age ? So hanako killed him and imprisoned him with the borders so that he would not change the timeline that I know , such as killing one of the mysteries and other things. Why is hanako unable to control him, and he is the yourishiro who created him??
Tsukasa, Sakura and Natsuhiko couldn't be frozen. Which one then?
I'm confused about the new chapter, where is hanako and did Kako benefit from Hanako's moment of collapse when he said Tsukasa is an imposter ? Any theories 😞
Do you have any theories about the extremely dangerous thing Hanako did to get sealed?
Hanako always says that he became a ghost to atone for his sin of killing tsukasa , but tsukasa became a yourishiro to impraison him and leave him . Where is the protection in this , of course, tsukasa will consider it hanako hates him ?
I wonder when Hanako finds out that Tsukasa is not fake but there is an entity inside him what he will do then ??
Do you think that the accident that the misterious hand mentions in the omen chapter could have something to do with what the clock keepers have changed in the new timeline??
Hi, it's been a while since I asked you anything, it's time to do it :) based on everything we've seen, from your perspective where do you think this arc is going and what can we expect?
What do you think we will see in the next chapter? Do you think we'll see Kou and Mistuba trying to survive Tsukasa? Or will the chapter be just about Yashiro? I honestly have no ideas. I know it's hard to predict Aida Iro's mind, but I'd love to hear your theories
For Sakura's part, who do you think she's holding hands with?
Hello! I recently read the novel or game Narisokonai Snow White by Aida and Iro and well it seemed curious to me that she also had twins in that story
most of the manga It's written from Nene's perspective, but there are some moments that are from Hanako-kun's perspective. Would you like to talk about them?
In the images of the injured Amane when he was alive you can see signs that he was tied up and honestly in almost all of Aida Iro's art Hanako has ropes. What I don't understand is why Tsukasa's need binds him, because at first it seems like a sign of obsession like "you're stuck with me", but we know that Tsukasa just wants to fulfill Amane's wish and doesn't want to be with him. , so why do you think he tied him up? I doubt Amane could resist if when Tsukasa hurt him then why the ropes?
In your opinion, what do you think of the mirror hell arc? But for me it was the part where everyone is on the borderline of no. 3 was as if Tsukasa and Hanako during their meeting were playing roles like Tsukasa being the villain and Hanako being the hero. As if it was all just a joke. Of course I may be rambling, but what do you think?
i want to ask you about Tsukasa's eyes here they were black throughout the chapter but here they have a little light. What does that mean 🤔??
Perhaps Hanako sealed the reason for not entering his border and seeing Tsukasa all that time , so he called him and did not hear him to cut off the connection between them and someone was able to free him??
In chapter 82 in the red house. What do you think Tsukasa meant by writing a letter to Yashiro and Kou? I didn't understand 😓
I've been rereading the "Hanako of Magic" AU from the Halloween special and I honestly didn't understand it. Can you explain?
Tsukasa continues to reject Hanako and he is yorishiro . What should hanako do to reach his feelings for tsukasa ? He did not even notice that his brother was crying for him .in your opinion how can hanako return tsukasa to normal??
I was reading your analysis about the Yugi twins and the super toxic relationship they have;)
Also, doesn't he suspect Sakura and Natsuhiko, because sometimes this feels like a duo or trio, clearly what are they going to use the wish for, Amane or Sakura?
what if this tsukasa is looking for amane to play with him and will not rest until he finds him so he takes advantage of the students and plays with them ?? What do you think
So i had a question about Tsukasa in the new timeline; in the new chapter, after saying "are we playing hide and seek, he says this
I didn't understand when Akane made that reflection about whether that boy was really Tsukasa Yugi. Can you explain?
i feel that amane was primarily responsible for the chaos in the manga from beginning if he had told tsukasa that he loved him but he did not and he made him Yourishiro and left him and ehen tsukasa was not affected by his words he felt sad and said that he hated him . I think about how he would feel when he saw tsukasa in this bad condition and he called him . What do you think??
ok, so i was reading the new tbhk manga chapter and realized that: "baby Tsukasa" has Amane's eyes, and "older Amane" has Tsukasa's eye, do you think the roles were switched and Tsukasa was the one who got sick now?
when kou became possessed what happened to Tsukasa ?
First of all they remind us that Hanako is a very stupid puberty no one understands a damn what he is referring to, l only understood that he really likes the touch XD
hi :3 what arcs do you think we'll get in season 2 of tbhk?
Second season of jibaku shounen hanako-kun I'm very happy. In the trailer you can see that we will have the clock keepers arc
every one knows hanako is a killer but they don't know who killed him ? Who do you explain that 🤔
They call hanako the killer but they don't know who the victim was that he killed was his little brother why don't they know tsukasa like they know hanako???
I wonder if Yashiro even went to Tsuchigomori... I mean, suddenly it's night and the festival is over.
what is the worst tbhk ship?
will hanako telling tsukasa that he is a fake affect their relationship from Yourishiro's perspective ?
when Kako revealed hanako wanted to do prevented things i would like to know hanako and tsukasa thoughts when they looked at each other???
I love these pictures when Akane conforms Hanako with his crime and we see Hanako's shock what were his thoughts at the moment ??
Here there are theories that sat tsukasa's hand is like a corpse . Here what are your ideas???
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, but would Aida Iro continue to focus on Mistuba and Kou with Tsukasa at school or would they focus on Yashiro? Any idea? Or acahs that have the probability of Yashiro also appearing there alongside Kou and Mistuba just like Teru and Akane did?
If you could choose how the next chapter would unfold, what would it be? I love hearing your opinions
why didn't hanako know and feel tsukasa's exit from the boundaries as his Yourishiro??
hey, what chapter do you think TBHK will end?
why was amane shocked when he saw tsukasa alive like him in the picture perfect arc ? What were his thoughts at that moment?
what do you think of the theory that tsukasa gets stronger as the yourishiro is destroyed because hanako is sealed and the power is transferred to his yourishiro ??
What do you think could make Tsukasa cry? From the beginning of the series until now, he has never been seen to cry despite what happens to him, so I was curious to know what you think.
I think Kou is going to have his "villain arc" in this new timeline!
i forgot where i read this, about how tsukasa before his disappearance, had no fangs but then after it happened, right when he said to kunishige that his wish will come true, there we see he had them?
if amane saw tsukasa's hole from the beginning and lived with him and killed him and made him a yourishiro , didn't he see this hole again ? Then what is the meaning of his descring tsukasa as a fraud ??
Regarding what makes tsukasa cry is receiving love from someone he didn't receive from amane when he returned and even hanako made his yourishiro him isn't that a sign that he loves him??
I feel like Tsukasa experience in red house forced him to mentally mature cause I don't think that's how a 4 years old would act
im curious abt how hanako and no.6
there are images running through my mind and i wanted to o hear your theories about them 😊
the yorishiros are destroyed and the power returns to the entity which in this case is inside Tsukasa so he becomes stronger, but if Tsukasa is yorishiro when it is destroyed, who will the entity's powers go to?
Hanako wants his brother to always be close to him but when he sees him he treats him with disdain and never hugs him but does he think about what Tsukasa wants???
If Nene was in trouble and needed help, who do you think would help her? (aside from the most obvious ones like Hanako and Kou)
What do you think Teru feels about Nene? There is a theory that says that the person Teru actually likes is Nene. Do you think that is true?
Do you think tsukasa will be the last yourishiro ? If so tell me your thoughts on how things will be because hanako wants to protect him and sakura and natsuhiko want to destroy him . I know I'm exaggerating but I like your thoughts 👍
Helloooo i wonder, if teru believes that the seven mysteries system is keeping the balance of two worlds, why is he trying to exorcise them any chance they got? Is it because they mingle with humans freely like the time mitsuba tried to make friends with humans who could not see him? Or is it just the hatred he has for them? Have a nice day<3
Hii I was wondering how do you think Amane would react to Tsukasa crying considering the fact that Amane said that he doesn't know much about Tsukasa and I wonder how he would react seeing a new side of him.
Do you think the teacher asked Kou to deliver it was Tsughimori? Do you think we will see Hanako-kun in the next chapter opening the door for Kou and Mistuba?
I know the chapter just came out and I understand if you don't have theories or ideas, but if so, how do you imagine if it's Hanako who opens the door for Kou and Mistuba? How do you think the scene would play out?
Hii i dont know if you already answered this, but what does hanako mean when he said "I like it, humans like you are my favourite kind." to Akane?
If tsukasa is getting destroyed/removal of his seal. When do you think it will take place? The final arcs or way before that?
Hiii lunar, a question, in your opinion, what kind of difficult situation was Tsukasa stuck in that made a guy like him ask for help at Amane?
Do you think tsukasa would have been self-destructive even if he had had a normal life? (without evil entities or supernatural sacrifices)
maybe two more means they are the only ones amane needed to sacrifice to finally get what he wished for from the entity in the house??
What are your thoughts on the latest chapter?
I've been thinking about lately is the yugi parents
it is that true hanako remembers like his brother looking at the moon ? Why doesn't he try to save him ? He just make him suffer 😔?
i wander how hanako will be when they return to the real world and he told tsukasa that he hates him and is a fraud??
I am not ready to see tsukasa getting destroyed/disappear my heart will break into pieces 😭. While amane/hanako will probably? get a happy ending/get to be together with Nene in their own way like cult/lily ? 😭 Not fair 😭
Definitely mitsuba is an important piece in the puzzle, but I don't know how much sense it made at that moment to take him out (another time).
What if tsukasa was supposed to stay in the cove or the hole with kanji after death because he secirifed himself but hanako made him a yourishiro locked in the border?
Hii, in your opinion, what is radio for tsukasa? In my opinion for him it is more than the object from which they can spread rumors, considering that the radio in official art is almost always in contrast with the knife of hanako, idk.. what do you think?
Hello 🤗! Do you have any thoughts on how tbhk could end or what kind of conclusion amane/hanako's story will have? Or on how all of his relationships will end, like with characters like kou, Nene, tsukasa?
when hanako locked yashiro up she struggled to tell him that she didn't want to so he let her go and had fun with her but hanako knows thst tsukasa doesn't want to be locked up and stay with him yet he doesn't let him go , how long will he keep struggling ? Will he ever convince tsukasa?
what if tsukasa exploded with anger and told hanako that he did all this to make him hate him and remove his seal because he doesn't want to stay and continue with his brother and that he would rather disappear 😔
I was wondering why the sakura brooch was in the shape of a rhombus, and looking around I read that the rhombus is spiritually associated with the "the mysterious of the woman who created earthly life"
If amane convinces tsukasa to stay with him and not abandon him and the entity inside him will they separate because tsukasa found a reason to stay??
we noticed hanako's look when tsukasa wanted to remove his seal , what were his thoughts before he attacked him 🤔
Hii, Lunarfairy! Today come with a theory.
What do you think about the theory that Kou is/will become Mitsuba's yorishiro?
I wanted to ask about the human yorishiros.
I was surprised to learn that Nene was the protagonist and not hanako lol
Akane told Kako about Natsuhiko wanting to destroy the yourishiro but he said that Tsukasa is the source of the problem what does he mean? ?
RANDOM:
Let's talk about how Kou's staff STILL has the seal that Hanako put on it????
Isn't it funny that literally an exorcist became friends with a ghost?
The entity calling Kou to the house? Does it mean that Tsukasa is still inside him?
Okay, let's talk about something random
Omg, it's so embarrassing >.<
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So, it's been a while since I created this account and I've already gained some followers, thank you all for that :3 (it means you like the crazy things I post)
So I wanted to talk a little about myself (even though I think no one cares XD)
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Ok, I'm going to be serious now XDDD
I created this account because I really like JSHK and I wanted to talk about some crazy ideas or theories about the series and I felt welcomed here ^u^
I want you to know that a lot of things I post are just some crazy ideas that I occasionally have and that it's okay if you disagree, be kind S2 or if you agree I'll be happy if you want to talk to me about it :3
In fact, I hope you feel free to talk to me if you want, whether with an Ask or a message, I love talking about JSHK, if you also love and like crazy theories you can come talk to me if you want.
Don't take the things I say here too seriously, about the theories specifically, I may change my mind in the future or it's just crazy in my head, the most important thing for me is not to be right, but to have fun!
I'm trying to unravel the story in the most entertaining way I can, so it's okay with me if I'm wrong about the things I post (because no one other than Aidairo knows what's actually going to happen) XDD
Anyway, that's it.
Some other information that I don't know if you're interested in but I'll leave it here.
I am a girl
I'm Brazilian, I'd like to make that clear because if there are any Brazilians who also want to talk to me, feel free! (Sou brasileira, gostaria de deixar isso claro porque se tiver algum brasileiro que também queira falar comigo sinta-se a vontade!)
I speak English and Portuguese
I post randomly, but I usually post a lot because I tend to create theories and crazy ideas out of completely nothing.
Anyway, that's all, if you've read this far, thank you very much for giving me your attention :3
Bye bye~
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Index
THEORIES:
Amane's Darkness
Could it be that in the time of Amane
Amane's past
The house and the fire
Hanako-kun's Big Puzzle
Predictions of the tragedy
These hands…
The Cursed Seal
ANALYZES:
The monster inside Hanako
One of the mysteries of the Yugi twins
Hands on the walls
The irony of life and Hanako's karma
The forecast
Did you notice?
When you remember that at some point, Hanako will have to say goodbye to Tsukasa again…
Amane's disease
"Red Thread of Fate"
Okay, let's talk about Mitsuba
Amane's possessiveness and insecurity
Natsuhiko and the mysterious door
The relationship between Tsukasa, Yashiro and Amane
Tsukasa's relationship with the red house
Yugi Tsukasa's mother
Sixth sense or predestined death?
Oh my, Yashiro is interested in a lot of boys
Yashiro and Tsukasa's Relationship
YUGI TWINS
The melancholy love of the Yugi twins
Did Tsukasa do this?
Hanako's mental age
I wish I could hear his voice
FINDINGS:
Hanako's boundary
Tsukasa's toys
ASKS:
About Yorishiro 1
Spelling errors and pronouns
Twin stars 1 || Twin stars 2
Tsukasa’s emotions 1 || Tsukasa's emotions 2
Tsukasa's parents
Sumire
Tsukasa's kiss
Hanako's feeling seeing tsukasa for the first time
Nene-chan and I are the same!
Could Hanako have done something to stop Tsukasa's kiss with Nene?
The mysterious hand 1 || The mysterious hand 2
Tsukasa image analysis
Tsukasa's behavior
Who do you think is gonna confess first? Hanako or nene?
Hanako's duty
HANENE:
A post about Hanene
Yashiro's wish and Hanako's self-control
Hanako's cute side
Nene ankles
She was exposed
Does Amane remember?
Hanako and Yashiro's tragic love
Reblog
Hanako-kun's jealous punishment
Hanako's look of desire and love
I still want to see this date, right Aidairo?
The insecurity
Hanene reblog
It was the first time a girl said she liked me, it made me happy…
The active Hanako and the passive Amane
Hanene reblog 2
The moment when Hanako fell in love with Yashiro
Details
But what about Amane and Yashiro's date?
Zombie Hanako and his wish
I know what you did here huh, Aidairo
Hanene reblog 3
This scene
RANDOM:
The invisible ghost
Yashiro Nene priorities
Natsuhiko's love potion
A compilation of jealous Hanako-kun
Tsunene reblog
Tsukasa reblog
Hanako reblog
Yugi twins
Okay, it's cute but
Just a compilation of random Hanene moments
Kou reblog
Just a compilation of random photos of Tsukasa
Just Tsukasa and Mitsuba being happy friends
Amane's Possessiveness reblog
Just a bunch of random photos of two idiots (Kou and Mitsuba)
Just Hanako-kun blushing or embarrassed
Nene and Aoi
A funny detail about the hamsters' space wars
Backstage 1
A tiny Tsukasa trying to put a birthday hat on top of his hat
Just a little ghost and an exorcist boy being best friends
Strangely similar….
"We're the same"
Karma
Hanako and Tsuchigomori
Just Tsukasa having his patience tested
I've been thinking (Tsukasa and Hanako)
149 notes · View notes
lovieku · 1 day ago
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idkkkk what i wanted to actually ask BUT i thought i would give everyone a lil courage to do the same SOOO im asking true love jk: would you give me a cha— *gunshots* no ok seriously what gives him the cuteness aggression from sunshine!reader? like... we know this man is emo blah blah blah but we also know he's not-so-secretly a simp and the reader is just so so so cute 😭 so.... maybe some particular things the reader does that makes true love!jk go feral and be like "imma smooch you so hard you'll think im crazy but i'll still deny any statements that im *gags*.... in l*ve"???
sorry if it sounds jumbled i just kinda thought abt it and ???? he seems like the type to do that
(also i am going insane from the amount of work and studying i have to do BEFORE NEW YEAR???? so i need SOMETHING to idk make me go LESS insane.....) LOVE UUUUUU <3<3<3<3
“What… is cuteness aggression?” Jeongguk scratches his head, taking his time to go through the question a couple times more. He pretends it’s because he doesn’t understand, but really he’s just trying to buy himself time before anyone notices the tips of his ears reddening, and the flush spreading to his cheeks.
“I’m not emo—you know what, whatever,” he mutters, letting out an amused scoff as he rethinks of all the times you two fought over this. “I won’t even bother addressing the “simp” part and… Yeah. That.” He gulps at the thought of being in love. No, not the thought. It’s more he’s swallowing thickly at the acceptance of it. Because there’s kind of no denying it anymore.
Especially when he doesn’t even notice the smile that sneaks onto his lips as he begins, “___ is just… naturally cute. Back in high school, she had lots of admirers. I never understood why she was so adamant on me.” He chuckles softly, timidly rubbing the tip of his nose, “It definitely is what brought us together, though.”
“I guess her determination is one of the things that gives me the,” he narrows his eyes as he reads the question over, “cuteness aggression? That’s one of the things that gets me, yeah. She knows I don’t like PDA when I’m working. But that pout of hers doesn’t drop until I give her a kiss. Her pout—hm, that is also cute. Really cute. Oh, and her skirts. And the way she does her hair. The other time she had this cool bun that… Ahem.”
Jeongguk clears his throat the moment he hears the door open, and it’s you peeking inside. Your brows furrow imperceptibly, endearing curiosity in your voice, “What are you doing?”
He coughs, trying to look nonchalant, “Huh, not much.”
“Okay,” you grin, nose scrunched, eyes crinkled, and he feels his heart trip. You’re still balancing yourself on one leg, your head prettily tilted to the side, leaning just a little further into the room. Before closing the door behind you, you whisper through a giggle, “I love you.”
Jeongguk stills. He looks down at his phone, then around the room, fingers coming to tug at the neckline of his hoodie. He chuckles awkwardly, “It’s a little hot in here, no?”
He sighs, knowing that trying to hide how much he’s affected by you won’t do anything but highlight that even more, “So… She did drop the L-word. I’m struggling. I really want to, but…” zoning out, he seems to lose his train of thought. “She’s so honest. So open about how she feels. She’s never scared of being vulnerable. That’s what’s cute about her. And it makes me want to kiss her a lot. That’s why I love— Huh… I love her. Yeah.”
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vrystalius · 1 day ago
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I am on my hands and knees. PLEASE Do Obanai going on a first date with fem reader, it can be nfsw or not I don’t really mind all that much (Nfsw pls if you’re comfortable). I love reading you writings, but there’s no Obanai so pls🫶
First date with Obanai
Your first date with Obanai with many more to come!
Pairing: Obanai x fem!reader
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Everything was already set and prepared; hot tea sitting in ceramic cups, bottled water stashed aside just in case, an array of snacks that vary from fruit to pastries and candy, really anything you could possibly crave, some cushions to sit on, a blanket if you get cold, all arranged on top of a soft blanket beneath a beautifully blossomed sakura tree.
Obanai has overthought this moment hundreds of times already, even before he gathered the courage to ask you out or even be to not melt when breathing in your vicinity, daydreaming about listening to you talk about anything you want, taking in how astonishingly pretty you are and how even the sun knows exactly where to shine to make you just look that ethereal.
Obanai adjusted his haori for the fifth or sixth time and fidgeted with his fingers, his nerves buzzing like a swarm of angry bees inside his body. They were assaulting all his senses and making him feel like he’s about to he forced to hide in a bush to either hide from you in shame or throw his guts out in fear. Possibly both at the same time. If he hurries now, he can get over the nausea before you arrive—
“Oh! You’re already here, I thought I’d have a little time to set things up.”
When you appeared, Obanai almost forgot to breathe for a moment. You were dressed in a simple yet elegant kimono. He had never seen you dress in anything but the corps uniform and now that he thinks about it, he probably should’ve worn something different too. Damn it, he should’ve thought of that before.
“You look… nice.”
“And you still look so serious, I thought this was supposed to be a date where we could loose up a little, Iguro!”
The tension that forced Obanai to sit in the straightest way possible left his back when you casually poked fun at him like that. He smiled beneath his mask and gave Kaburamaru a gentle head-scratch as his pet was curiously staring up at you. He tried to playfully glare at you in response before gesturing you to sit down beside him. With a bright smile you happily obeyed and carefully reached out to the snake wrapped around Obanai’s neck, you hand hovering around the head of the pet. Kaburamaru didn’t seem to really mind your presence.
“I didn’t think you’d bring him along too. I heard from Giyuu that the cutie doesn’t really like him.”
“Well, are you Tomioka?”
He spat back at you with a slightly venomous tone directed at his colleague rather than towards you. You thought to yourself about why everyone seemed to dislike the water hashira so much.
“Kaburamaru likes you. He’s calm and doesn’t act out when you’re around.”
A blush tinted his face again while speaking, avoiding looking you directly in the face while using petting his pet as an excuse.
“Really? I’m honoured!“
You felt your own face heat up slightly while shifting just a little closer to the serpent hashira. He noticed, of course, and moved his gaze back to you.
“What about you? Do you like me too?”
Obanai’s eyes widened for a moment before softening again, his hands moving away from Kaburamaru and now resting on his lap. That question caught him off-guard. He didn’t have the courage to hold the stare with your eyes and so jumped back and forth between his thighs and your fingers fidgeting.
“I wouldn’t have asked you to this I didn’t.”
He successfully dodged the question. Obanai didn’t want to admit his feelings, the ones he was harbouring for quite a while now and the ones he tried to ignore and shrug off as simple admiration, out loud just yet. Especially not to you. Yet.
You were slightly disappointed by his answer but accepted it nonetheless, your hands also coming to a rest on your thighs.
The tea Obanai had set out before you arrived was cold to the touch by the time the sun set and moon rose above. Duty was calling and the both of you have to go on a patrol soon, although the serpent hashira wanted to try one last move.
“After this, would you want to join me on my patrol route? We could keep talking.”
Bonus:
Despite Kaburamaru being just a snake, he is well aware of his master’s feelings for you and is heavily rooting for you two. After all, he was there firsthand to witness Obanai silently celebrating you saying yes to this date by punching the air and kicking his feet in bed like a lovesick schoolgirl.
💠
You have been probably begging on your hands and knees for a while now 😭😭 I’m sorry it took this long to answer your ask, anon! I hope you enjoyed it anyway <33 I’m always rather hesitant when writing for Obanai as I’m not thaaat familiar with his character :,)
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough <33
Take care of yourselves!!
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wildflowerwoodsworld · 3 days ago
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Wild's Black Clover Fic Recs
I did have one list, but Tumblr wouldn't let me post is all as one, so stay tuned for Part Two with more shippy fics
So, I've seen a lot of these floating around over the years and they all seem to have the same dozen fics on them, so I want to try and highlight some of the lesser known fics in this fandom I love alongside some of the more well-known ones. (Note: I have done my best to avoid reccing more than three/four fics by the same person to make sure plenty of authors make it onto the list, not just the popular ones)
This is not just my tastes, I have asked a lot of other people in this fandom for their own fic recs to compile into this list.
Disclaimer: despite my best attempts to be unbiased with this list, I'm human. There are some amazing fics that I haven't personally read bc they contain my NOTPs or tags I don't like or they just squick me out. This is not a complete list of fics in the fandom you should read. This is a list of fics I, and my friends, like.
I will also not be including any purely smut fics on this list.
Wordcounts have been rounded to the nearest 1000 words. They might be slightly longer or slightly shorter than the wordcount listed.
With that being said, let's get into it!
Gen Bulls-Centric Fics
I'm going to preface this entry with the statement that I was not intending to put any of my own fics on this list. Then I had several people tell me that I needed to include this. So here it is.
Crytpid Black Bulls (Series) by WildflowerWoods
Rating: T Ships: Gen Black Bulls Length: 130k The Black Bulls are the cryptids of the Clover Kingdom. AKA a series of short stories about the Black Bulls and everyone else coming to realise just how crazy they are. Not in chronological order.
Small Problems by eclipsingbinary
(I would also reccomend the series this fic is attatched to)
Rating: T Ships: Gen Black Bulls Length: 52k Yami sends out four of his magic knights to investigate a well explored dungeon. Three of them come back a little different. The story of Yami's adventures in unexpected fatherhood, Asta's sudden promotion to 'not the youngest member of the squad anymore' and Vanessa's new talents in children's toy manufacture. Also featuring unpleasant realisations, child endangerment and a hefty dose of making things better with cuddles and pancakes.
hearts can break, but can also be mended by Katcchan
Rating: G Ships: Yami & Finral, Black Bulls & Finral Length: 3k A few days after the Royal Knights Selection Exam, Finral wakes up to Yami talking to William and his brother, Langris.  Finral + Yami/Black Bulls hurt/comfort fic!
love, i've lost a screw or two, so could i snag a spare off you? by JadeGM
Rating: G Ships: Yami & Everyone Length: 2k After the final battle against the Dark Triad, the Black Bulls all want to make sure their captain's okay - and they're not the only ones.
Found My Heart and Broke It Here by JadeGM
Rating: M Ships: Luck & Magna, Luck & Vanessa Length: 5k Being bodysnatched via forbidden magic isn't a pleasant sensation for anyone, but it works out especially badly in combination with Luck's natural mana sensitivity. There will be hugs at the end, just as in canon.
The Place I Call Home by Oighear
Rating: G Ships: Gen Black Bulls Length: 3k Day 8: Free prompt- Home How the Black Bulls made their base and their squad their home.
A Bird in the Rain by Acacia_May
Rating: T Ships: Finral & Yami & Vanessa & Gordon Length: 2k If Captain Yami is being honest, he doesn't know what to make of the poor girl who followed him home from the Forest of Witches and who, for some unfathomable reason, still hasn't left yet. When the Black Bulls get caught in a torrential downpour in the middle of nowhere, however, he gets to see a completely new side of her and a new side of his squad as well. Maybe she belongs with them after all. Pre-Series Black Bulls Family Fluff and Fluffy Team Bonding. This is all about the love of a found family and friendship. I guess if you really wanted to see some of the relationships as romantic you could(?), but this is not a romantic work (beyond just the tiniest bit of Finral being Finral, I guess haha). This story takes place before "Yellow Flowers," but you don't have to read that story in order to understand this one. Rating is for some language. Thank you for reading! Cheers!!
Spin the Wheel by Cyrooo
Rating: G Ships: Gen Black Bulls boys Length: 1k Day Two: Competition In which eight black bulls members play Twister under the watchful eyes of their captain and vice captain and it's as horrible as it sounds, really.
Let Us Be Stars (ongoing) by Teleportation_Magic
Rating: Not Rated Ships: Asta & Noelle Length: 7k Her legs were shaking. Asta was somewhere, ahead of her, sword in hand and a sort of never-ending conviction in his heart. She couldn’t match that, shouldn’t have tried, really, since she was going to end up dead now. And then the sky lights up. Or, Noelle and Asta find themselves in the Purple Orcas with enemies on all sides and a corrupt Captain. However, their fate is still inextricably tied to the squad of criminals as their enemies gather and pounce.
Fortune Favours the Bold by BeamMeUpCas
Rating: G Ships: Asta & Yuno, Yami & Finral, Asta & Finral Length: 21k A few months after the Eye of the Midnight Sun attacked the capital, rebuilding efforts are still ongoing. The Diamond Kingdom capitalizes on this opportunity, threatening the borderlands. The Black Bulls, amongst others, are sent to quell the insurgence. But when a lucky strike leaves Asta badly hurt, Finral, Yami, and Yuno need to do the unthinkable to keep their friend alive.
Hunted by eclipsingbinary, finralroulacoolsa
Rating: T Ships: Finral & Magna Length: 100k Liliane Vaude stands at a crossroads in her garden. In one universe she turns right. In another, she turns left and finds her son and stepson chatting together instead of doing lessons. She knows now that Finral is holding Langris back. They need to get Finral out of the house before he corrupts Langris with his idleness. That Magic Knight they met at Gueldre’s party was interested in spatial magic. He might be convinced to take Finral away to mentor him in the city. Six years later, Magna Swing is trying to improve his magic after failing the Magic Knight entrance exam. He is cold, wet, and hungry. Surely one night in a warm basement is not going to do any harm. He is not expecting what, or who he finds.
New Squad-mate, Who Dis? by ZirconiumDragon
Rating: T Ships: Finral & Zora & Asta Length: 2k Finral wakes up to find that his squad suddenly has a new member.
Fears, Insomnia, White Wine, and Hugs by unfortunately_i_love_it
Rating: T Ships: Finral & Vanessa Length: 5k No. No, he can’t. He can’t. This... This is already so stupid. So stupid of his thoughts and so stupid of him for letting the thoughts get to him like this. He couldn’t tell her what was wrong. He couldn’t tell her what was wrong because there was nothing wrong. It was fine. He was fine. He’s just overreacting. He’s just being stupid. He’s just being- “-pathetic.” Or: Vanessa comforts Finral after a rough bout of un-gucci thoughts following a rough battle.
Crazy Trust Thing by eclipsingbinary
Rating: T Ships: Finral & Yami & Vanessa Length: 24k The Black Bulls are given an undercover mission to take down mage-traffickers on the border. It sounds dangerous to Finral, but anything is better than being in the Capital when his family arrives for Langris’s Magic Knight Exam. Yami would just like his ride to come off the roof. Featuring hurt Finral, lots of comfort, finding a family and finding a home. Also known as “the story of why Captain Yami never asks Finral to ‘push past his limits’ when he says he cannot make a portal.”
The sides of Finral (Vaude) Roulacase by Lacris03
Rating: T Ships: Finral & The Black Bulls, Finral & Langris Length: 14k Finral is known to be a happy-go-lucky member of the Black Bulls. But everyone has more than one side to them. Finral is no different. The series of one-shots will mainly focus on the various sides to one Finral Roulacase and how it changes everything yet nothing at the same time.
It's Okay. We'll Just Keep Finding Ourselves by ZirconiumDragon
Rating: G Ships: Finral & The Black Bulls Length: 19k 5 Times Finral helped his squadmates. And one time he was helped in return. (Or maybe he was really being helped all along.) Alternatively: The Black Bulls are a family. And Finral is the mom friend.
Lumiereward by Cyrooo
Rating: G Ships: Nero & Lumiere, Nero & the Black Bulls Length: 1k Nero misses home. (Always). OR: Nero is a compass and Lumiere is her north.
faith bleeds through the cracks by TellNearaToWrite
Rating: T Ships: Finral & Yami Length: 8k Yami knew three things. First, that being a squad captain was shaping up to be a lot like fatherhood, and second, he was definitely not cut out for that shit. Third. Well. Julius had a lot to answer for, that was for sure. The least he could do was help a bit.
Why Asta (and Liebe) are Banned From the Kitchen by bluemeanies
Rating: G Ships: Asta & Liebe Length: 2k After Yami's katana becomes Demon Slicer and joins Asta's grimoire, Asta and Liebe start looking for other things that could be good anti-magic weapons. Liebe might be taking the concept a little too far.
Flower Crowns by AngelicCharizard
Rating: G Ships: Asta & Liebe Length: 1k During an off day, Asta decides it's a great idea to bring a devil to a church
Gen Not Bulls-Centric Fics
Think about it (Series) by thoughtfullyrainynightmare
Rating: G Ships: none Length: 6k This is a collection of short drabbles that exist to give insight to the canon characters presented in Black Clover from my personal perspective. This is about how I see them
What you sow by Willows_Bend (Katy_Stark)
Rating: G Ships: Jack & Charlotte & Yami Length: 1k Jack didn't know what to expect when he walked into their shared apartment living room. Yami glaring at a tiny plant in a pot while trying to navigate the language of botany was not one of them.
Black Clover: Captain Yami's Rescuers by YenGirl
Rating: Not Rated Ships: Yami & Jack, Yami & Charlotte Length: 1k While in captivity, Captain Yami ponders the age old question of who will rescue him and William Vangeance.
What Yami Saw by BeamMeUpCas
Rating: G Ships: Yami & Nozel Length: 8k Nozel needs a favor. Yami will maybe not hold it over his head for all eternity but he'll take great delight in letting Nozel think he will.
Ten-year Rendezvous by khanh
Rating: G Ships: William & Damnatio Length: 3k William and Damnatio went out drinking once every year.
Life goes on by teaxtime
Rating: Not Rated Ships: Yuno & Belle Length: 1k Bell had lived a long time, and will be around for even longer. (Somewhat of a character study)
The Misadventures of Morning and Darkness (Series) by BBRosenfeld
Rating: G Ships: Yami & Morgen, Yami & Nacht Length: 11k Morgen and Yami are Magic Knights from the Grey Deers squad, and most unlikely of friends. However, they were as efficient as they were opposites of each other. Follow our two besties on their path towards knighthoods, in a fanfic that explores the sinfully unexplored potential of Morgen and Yami's shenanigans as Magic Knights!
Prince Sekke by Oighear
Rating: G Ships: Silva Family Length: 6k The equilibrium between the three royal families in the Clover Kingdom was fragile. If most royals believed their own House deserved to stand alone in power, they refrained from stating these thoughts and acknowledged that the other two Houses were necessary in maintaining the perfect system they had crafted. This cordial understanding was however put in great danger when none other than King Augustus Kira Clover XIII decided to make Sekke Bronzazza a prince.
When the sun sets by khanh
Rating: G Ships: William & the Golden Dawn Length: 1k On the night Zenon captured William, the Golden Dawn has an argument. “Captain Vangeance used everything he has to save us all!” “And he shouldn’t have!! What is the use of us?!”
Follow That Dream by IAmStoryteller
Rating: M Ships: Kirsch & Dorothy Length: 6k It never occurred to anyone to question how Dorothy Unsworth, a whimsical witch, earned the trust and loyalty of Kirsch Vermillion, the narcissistic, arrogant royal.
baking dawn by saikiks (jakubox)
Rating: G Ships: Langris & the Golden Dawn Length: 1k in which langris finds himself in a happy, chaotic mess.
playing pretend by November_Clouds
Rating: T Ships: Yami & William Length: 1k When Yami Finrally comes to, all he can see is darkness. day 1: waking up restrained + shackled manga spoilers!
Lay Beside Me, Under Wicked Sky by AvaCelt
Rating: G Ships: Silva Family Length: 2k Noelle leaves, and the chips fall where they do. [Silva family!fic, post-canon]
Sunset by Lanternova
Rating: G Ships: Finral & Langris Length: 2k Before leaving on his journey, Langris and Finral talk.
birdcage by dollyfish
Rating: G Ships: Finral & Langris Length: 1k here’s gold, here’s flesh, here’s a person with two eyes like a bright, vast galaxy. you’ve never even believed in eyes so honest, and you’re thirteen, you ought to have some proper experience with the world outside the mansion. but you’re also a Vaude, and you don’t. you’re facing another Vaude, and you think- just a flicker, but it’s there- you think he pities you.
Artifice by subtleassiduities
Rating: T Ships: Silva Family Length: 31k When a retrieval mission traps Nozel with a dangerous and powerful artifact, Nebra and Solid struggle to find help before time runs out for him. But their attempts are thwarted by a widespread, rapidly progressing phenomenon: Everybody in the Clover Kingdom is forgetting about Nozel Silva. Their only choice is to depend on one another-- and Noelle, the only other person who can hold onto a memory of their dear brother. Their rescue mission forces them to face their own memories, twisted against them in ways they may not be able to overcome. TL;DR: You ever see Pokemon 3: The Movie? It's kind of like that, but better.
That One Time When Julius Was Late by wintermelon_soldier
Rating: G Ships: Julius & the Captains Length: 1k "We're late... again," Marx said with a worried expression. "Don't worry, Marx. I'm sure everything is just f-" The Magic Emperor pushed both doors open hoping to greet the Captains only to be welcomed by a vast wasteland. The conference room where it once stood is replaced by a large, empty landmass with no trees or building in sight. "W-what in the world is happening?" Marx cried at his mentor.
Ghosts by IAmStoryteller
Rating: T Ships: Julius & Everyone Length: 3k Julius has a bit of a secret. He can see ghosts of his dear departed friends.
OC Centric Fics
Paper Hearts (Ongoing) by KaLolasFantasyWorld
Rating: M Ships: Nozel/OC Length: 270k Helena Drazel is a twenty five year old Royal from Diamond Kingdom. She's a charming and cheerful woman, ready to leave the sheltered embrace of her family's estate. Her mother previously a Clover citizen and an old friend of late Acier Silva, gets her daughter an invitation to study healing magic in the Capital. Because of that friendship Helena is placed under the care of Royal House of Silva. However the siblings, especially the eldest Nozel, are not so fond of her at the beginning. You don't have to know the Black Clover story to read this. I'll be the explaining the world as the story progresses. It will be happening throughout the main events of the whole Black Clover animated series starting from the beginning (episodes 5 - 170), but I will describe them from Helena's perspective. This is a romance, but also a Silva family redemption story and a long slow burn, with many platonic relationships and BC characters appearances. It's canon plus meanwhile... Other ships will appear later in the story. There are some illustrations ;) I will include notes about possible anime spoilers. Prepare yourself for lots of laughter, drama, spanglish, angst and sexual tension. Enjoy <3
Embers of Sun and Flame by thoughtfullyrainynightmare
Rating: M Ships: Fuegoleon/OC Length: 243k This is a love story that unfolds during troubling times. Clover Kingdom facing threats from all around, but still two souls battle to merge themselves into one. Though it is not easy, especially given that one of them is not from Clover herself. But will their efforts be enough? Will their tender emotions burst into flames or shall the faintly flickering embers dim down and die out in the ashes? Read to find out ;) The story continues in "Embers of Sun and Flame: Before We Have It"
Children of the Future by LightNova
Rating: T Ships: Next Gen kids & their parents, YamiChar, Greyche, Zobra, Fuegoleon/OC, FinVan, William/OC, Julius/OC, Astelle, Yuno/OC Length: 105k When Yami and Charlotte had been summoned to see the Wizard king they had not been expecting to find out they had a 19 year old daughter from the future! Nor had they been expecting even more children from the future to appear in their world shortly after her. Just what was going on, and who was sending them here and why?
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thebookwormdaydreamer · 2 years ago
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Highly recommend not taking recs from booktok or booktwt to be honest. Doing your own research regarding the kind of books you want to read is extremely rewarding and also personally, I think it helps you develop your taste in books outside of what’s popular or trending.
Sometimes bookish social media can feel like one big book club so it’s easy to fear missing out on something, but reading only what’s popular can lead to reading stuff you don’t enjoy.
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icewindandboringhorror · 9 days ago
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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mermaidsirennikita · 8 months ago
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People are ridiculously entitled and it’s genuinely so disheartening. Books are someone’s ART. You don’t just get to alter a name in someone else’s creative work. (I’m appalled people out there think this is remotely acceptable - writers are not court jesters nor do they exist to please everyone - no human being nor their creative work does, in fact!) Thanks for putting your various responses out there! Here’s hoping people learn to respect and appreciate artists and creators once again
Quoth Nora Roberts:
I am not here to be a slave to certain reader’s wants, needs, whims. Again, I write what I write, and these are MY characters, in my books. Not yours. They are yours to enjoy or not, but they belong to me, they come from me...
You don’t have to agree, but I’m not writing for your particular point of view. Again, I’ve explained my reasons for this. I won’t do so again. My characters, my books, my decision. If you want something else, read something else.
And yes, I said that, too. Blast away, it changes nothing. I am not obliged to meet an individual’s demands.
So.
First off:
If you're really super chill about the idea of being able to change what writers write just because you didn't like a detail you think is small and irrelevant, I would sincerely encourage you to read La Nora's full thoughts on similar issues... and yeah, I'm gonna equate something as "small" as a name with what Nora's talking about here. Because it is ALL the author's domain. I've never personally subscribed to the idea that a work "isn't yours anymore" once it's out in the world. The way people interpret and interact with it isn't yours, sure. But it's still your creation, and you should be the only person with control over the content.
... and sometimes, I, as a reader, don't like what authors do with their content. I get it. I don't like that Lisa Kleypas edited her work years after publishing it, because I'm big on the "own what you wrote originally even if it's uncomfy" train... (for the most part--editing the fetishization of Cam and Kev would've made sense to me). And I don't think there's anything wrong with readers pointing out problematic shit in a writer's work, offering critique in an open forum, as Smart Bitches, Trashy books did when reading Hello, Stranger, which I speculate may have prompted some of Lisa's edits.
But! I can't say that it would ever be my right as a reader to, say, use future technology to tell my reading device "edit out the times Cam says shit that reads super fetishized". It's just kind of repellent to me to imagine rewriting someone's work in any way without their permission. Fuck, I don't even like the idea of estates releasing sequels or revised versions of books unless the author indicated that such was in their wishes in their will. (See: the TWO official Gone with the Wind sequels/prequels/whatever authorized by Margaret Mitchell's estate.)
We, as readers, have our lanes. The writers have theirs. And sometimes, as writers, they do tiny things or BIG things in their lanes that we dislike. (I love Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series, for the most part. I really, REALLY hate the most recent book in the series. HATE. IT. But the only thing I can do about that shit is just pretend that book never happened, which I actually can fairly efficiently because I do in fact control what my brain does. Or, seek out books that give me what that series didn't with that most recent book. Sierra Simone's do a bangin' job.) But you know... Not only do I not think it is safe for me to merge into their lane... I don't want writers to feel like they have to submit to demand and give away pieces of their work in order to keep selling.
(And honestly? For the vast majority, I don't think it would make enough of a difference anyway--writers are often sold bills of goods with new strategies or tech. "This will change the way you sell books". Most writers won't ever be able to write full time anyway, and I find the way that this fantasy that you'll be able to do otherwise with THIS TECH optimizing your writing time, or THIS SUBSCRIPTION increasing the eyeballs that will see your book... Scammy. Not all of it's bad! But the selling strategy that you'll make more money... If you're selling on KU, if five extra people buy your book you're still making pennies, so it's gotta be more than one thing that converges to create the sale, and a lot of that, I gotta say, is word of mouth and people just LIKING YOUR SHIT. And I'd argue that they're more likely to like your shit if you're invested as a writer.)
Second:
No need to thank me! I honestly think that the majority of readers do appreciate what writers do (or don't feel either way about it and just read like people have always read lol) but I don't know. I can't really tell what it is--the sort of "fandom" that's been created around books (and like, author fan clubs and such have always existed, but obviously the accessibility is so different), new tech developing very rapidly when for centuries books were relatively stagnant technologically speaking, the fanficification of EVERY type of media it feels like... But the sense of entitlement that certain readers feel does seem to have grown. Or maybe it's simply become more visible. I mean, Nora Roberts has from the dawn of her writing career taken off had fans that can communicate with her, and I'm sure many have written letters like "Go give these characters a baby :(".
My biggest thing is always going to be this: some books ain't gonna be for you. There are books that sound so Caroline. I read them, and for whatever reason--writing style, one character choice, something ephemeral I can't name--they aren't. Everyone else loves these books. I'd love to love these books. I'd love to discuss these books. I'm not in the party. And that's FINE. Not every party is going to be a party I'm down for! One of my best friends loooooves Tessa Bailey and Tessa-like contemporaries. Tessa, by and large, doesn't work for me. So my friend and I can't discuss a lot of books in depth. Do I wish historicals worked for her so that I could nerd out with her? Sure! But I can't make something that doesn't work for her work for her, and I can't make Tessa's books work for me.
And I know that people will be like "it's just a name bitch", but... it's a slippery slope to me, just like ALL of AI and AI-related tech has been a slippery slope. Like, y'all said AI wasn't gonna be a big deal and would just make things easier, and people are now selling AI-written books under their names. Everyone said that authors would have control over how AI interacted with their books, and books are being scraped for AI on the daily.
I do not want anyone to have final control over what is and isn't in a book but the person who wrote the book. I do not want writers to feel like they need to cede any amount of control over the copy in that book over to readers in order to succeed.
And I honestly think it would be a lot healthier for everyone involved if we as readers (viewers, general audiences) just accepted that we don't get everything we want, and creatives are not here to dance to our tune. They are people, and they want to tell the stories they want to tell. Your power? Is in your dollar. If you don't like that shit, don't buy it. If you don't want to support it... don't! Fuck, if you want to talk shit on the internet about how the most recent book in the series was absolutely not for you, that's your right, too.
I don't want you fucking with a single word on the page, though. Feel free to go write your own shit--prosper! But that part of what Nora said that rings true to me most is "they come from me". These books come from writers. You have them because of those writers. So, I don't know, dude. Just take what's there, and if you dislike it, spit it out and move on to the thing you will like. Authors aren't churn factories to produce what you want, and ROMANCE as a genre, however commercial it is and however much it does have that One Rule that defines it as a genre... Is still something that writers should be allowed to experiment with. That's the work writers put in. The work readers put in? Finding shit that works for us. And I'm telling you... With a little practice, it ain't hard. How do y'all think I have all these books to recommend? Lmao
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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 4 months ago
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y’know if there’s one good thing that came out of the book of bill, it’s that you can’t take it as canon and be a proponent of same coin theory at the same time
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dirt-str1der · 2 years ago
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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy
#Yakzua loveblog#im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything#in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway#my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives#i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his#deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for#thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called#they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other#for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its#never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens#section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like#theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat#while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism#like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he#said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing#with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his#little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone#anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he#was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying#colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity#from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis#like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen#like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik#was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and#he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you#nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic#okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare#oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans
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pallases · 1 year ago
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submitted my first app 😖
#😭 didn’t plan to start this early but they said to do it by tonight and now i am worried abt when other companies want their apps in. i#should have asked them#i don’t think they all want them in now tho bc one of them told me she doesn’t start responding until january which. probably means i can#wait a bit right?? i don’t know 😭#personal#the engineering chronicles#feeling pretty okay abt how today went actually one employer told me i have a very high gpa and that she thought she read it wrong and#another i was talking to abt how even though they’re not a primarily medical company they do do medical stuff and i named and spoke abt the#things they’ve worked on and he seemed impressed by that knowledge. so#really worried tho bc. there are hardly any medical places my school has approved to apply to for this and companies that dont do medical#stuff don’t want biomedical engineering interns even if everything but my electives is the same as an ee’s coursework. bc we’re not going t#stick around for them to hire post grad. like ppl from these companies are straight up telling me not to bother applying or that they don’t#accept apps from ppl in my major etc. which fucking sucks especially since in ADDITION to that the vast vast majority of the companies#that Do have medical stuff going on are mechanical or manufacturing based not electrical. like. what do you expect me to do here#there is one company (the one the guy seemed impressed w me abt) that does electrical and coding stuff and i am really really interested in#them. but as i said the medical stuff is not their main focus and they’re more an all around place. and they also won employer or the year#or whatever a couple years ago. which means Everyone is going to be applying to this company. ugh
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danthropologie · 1 year ago
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#sometimes I feel like you only want to talk to me/see me when you’re having a bad day#like I’m glad I can make you feel better and keep you from getting too much anxiety and stay calm but at the same time I want to hang with#you on the good days too. otherwise I just feel kinda used. or like you got too much of me yesterday and had your fill and now I’m annoying#you or something like that. I get that I can be annoying but we’re supposed to be best friends so shouldn’t you be happy to see me when#you’re having a good day too? or at least be able to tell me that you might need some space/time to yourself? I can respect that but you#have to tell me that first. I can’t read your mind and I’m not great with hints so it just ends up feeling like you’re giving me the cold#shoulder and then I feel shitty and wonder why I’m always bothering running to you when you need me since it’s not like you do the same#idk maybe I’m just the type to always want to see my bestie and be around you no matter what but others don’t share that same love/energy#but like why be best friends with someone you don’t want to hang out with all the time? that’s what I always thought best friendships were#supposed to be. I know things aren’t like the movies or shows but it seems like everyone has a bestie that has my energy except for me#and that just kinda sucks sometimes because then I just keep wondering why I can’t have what I put out to others#I love the way I was never loved and I put all of me into my relationships but I don’t ever seem to get the same and is discouraging#I know this really isn’t a big deal and is just my anxiety talking. I know you love me and enjoy time with me. and it is nice to be needed#it’s nice that you trust me especially in times when you’re feeling vulnerable and depressed/anxious and I’m glad I can help you#I guess I just kinda wish that you returned some of the same affections I give out to you is all#personal
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ambrosiagourmet · 10 months ago
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I've been thinking about Laios' succubus lately. Mulling it over a bit.
Because I've seen these pages brought up a fair bit, but almost entirely in the context of shipping (on all sides, really). And I really want to understand what they are doing for the story beyond that.
When I went back to reread the scene and section, a few things caught my interest: the way Laios responds to both forms of his succubus, the themes of the volume the chapter is found in, and the other events of the chapter itself.
So let's dive into those three things, and what I think they say about the succubus scene's purpose.
Laios is never fully frozen by the succubus
So. If you compare Marcille and Chilchuck's reactions...
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to Laios':
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There is a difference. Sure, the basics may look the same once it turns into Scylla Marcille, but even then, it functions differently.
Chilchuck and Marcille are completely frozen once they catch sight of their succubus. Izutsumi, as well, isn't able to look away, and completely freezes up once her 'mom' starts talking to her. As Chilchuck describes, "just looking at them makes you unable to move."
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And yet, Scylla Marcille has to actively convince Laios to comply. He even looks away from her at one point!
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Laios accepts this succubus, but he is never actually helpless to it in the same way. Taken in? Convinced? Sure, at least enough to let things happen that he probably should question more than he does. But magically compelled? Not really. Not the same way as everyone else is. So that's interesting. But let's move on for now.
2. Volume 9 is all about drive and desire
I don't often look at chapters within the context of the volume they are included in, but I think there's some really fun things to be found with that perspective in mind.
For one, volume 9 starts with an exploration of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:
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And ends with a question of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:
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It's also very concerned in general with questions of why people do what they do. Why they are in the dungeon, why they are with the people they are with, why they stay, what they fight for.
In addition to Laios, we see it with Marcille...
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Izutsumi
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Kabru
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and Mithrun
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Hell, we even get it for the demon!
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It's certainly not the only volume concerned with desires and motives, but it is particularly focused on these ideas.
The succubus scene fits quite well into the ongoing question about desires, especially Laios' desires. It is even placed at an interesting spot within the volume. The volume is six chapters long, and the scene takes place at the start of the 4th chapter. It's almost smack-dab in the middle.
With all this in mind, it is interesting that, with both versions of the succubus Marcille, it's not totally clear which parts of her Laios is rejecting.
The first version of Marcille looks human, but Laios attacks when he identifies her as a monster. The second Marcille looks like a monster, but he seems to believe that she is the real (human)(ish) person that he knows. So is he rejecting the monster at first, and then accepting the person? Or is he rejecting humanity and only interested in the monstrous?
Something to consider as we look at the next point...
3. the rest of the chapter is a seduction, too
This is one of those things that might not be apparent on a first reading, but is crystal clear on a revisit. We see the succubus try and charm Laios over 7 pages, and then see the Winged Lion do the same thing for the next 19.
Much like the succubus, it offers the mingling of monsters and humans. Much like the succubus, it offers belonging.
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(and this is the point where I absolutely must also link this post by fumifooms on the succubus, which has some great ideas on how the scene is informed by Laios' trauma and desire for acceptance!!!)
But, back to the point. The Winged Lion wants to feed on Laios just as much as the succubus did, and it uses similar strategies to try and make that happen. Though this chapter isn't really the turning point for the next Lord of the Dungeon (it is Marcille who will, eventually, become the Lion's next victim), it certainly behaves like it is.
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Laios is convinced. The succubus gets its meal. By the end of the volume, the reader begins to understand how concerning his desires are. Together, it is all very good at building up that sense of dread and pending disaster, as we see exactly how and why Laios might just fall into the Lion's open arms and bring about the end of the world.
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So that's the three things I noticed. But there's still something I want to touch on by looking at the way these observations overlap, and what they reveal, together.
As I said, by the end of the volume, you can feel the tension growing. Just as Kabru and Mithrun do, you look back for an answer to the questions that have been built, chapter by chapter: why is Laios here? Where will his loyalties fall? This chapter, and scene, seem to prove the inevitable truth: he will choose the monster, of course. He will choose the seductive, easy power of the Winged Lion.
But the details of what actually happens tell different story: one in which the Lion is wrong.
First, as a reminder - even in Scylla Marcille mode, the succubus never fully entrances Laios. It convinces him, but it doesn't have him completely under its thrall.
Similarly, in the dream, the Lion does convince Laios to embrace the world he is offering. But even within that dream, Laios continues to ask questions that will be vital to him later. It is because of those questions that Laios comes to a new understanding about Thistle.
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And it's this realization that he cites later as part of his reason for refusing the Lion's offer.
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He is thinking through things the entire time, just like he continues to question the succubus even after it turns into Scylla Marcille.
Laios also expresses an interesting reason for why he wants to see the future of this world. He's not just invested because it would mean people liking what he likes, or him getting to spend time with monsters. The thought that comes immediately before his acceptance is about what he wants for monsters and people.
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I don't think it's a coincidence that this statement - "we're living beings that share the same world, but all we can do is keep killing each other" - can apply to the various humans races just as much as it does to humans and monsters. The thing he is thinking about here isn't just a matter of his personal daydreams. It's an idea that underpins every conflict in the story.
Laios caring about how people as well as monsters in this manner is something that the Lion gets wrong every time. Even at the end, he still frames Laios' desires entirely around hating people and loving monsters.
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The Lion has heard him express an opinion about the future of the world! It happened right there in the dream, right in front of him! He just didn't take it seriously, and didn't view it through any lens other than "Laios likes monsters more".
He's convinced that he understands how to get to Laios. Maybe the Lion can't truly see everything, or maybe his vision into everyone's deepest desires has made it hard for him to realize how much choice still matters. That people can, and do, choose which desires to act on, and how to act on them.
Whatever the case, he's wrong about Laios, and the story shows us this over and over again.
After all, look at how the succubus interaction plays out:
A monster uses Marcille to appeal to Laios...
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He realizes that something about the situation is wrong, and rejects her.
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It changes strategies, and makes new offer: to turn him into a monster.
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It also assures him that his friends are, or will be, taken care of.
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He accepts. Or rather, allows the monster to have its way with him.
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But Laios is not as helpless as he initially appears, and what the Lion thinks is a successful seduction also contains the seed of an idea that will allow Laios to later resist him.
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We even get to see Izutsumi playing a similar role in both instances, as the one person fully able to take action in the face to the illusion.
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The story lays out what is going happen, and then explicitly tells us that the demon and the succubus are thematically related.
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The chapter performs a great sleight of hand here - everything about it seems to indicate that Laios is doomed give in to the option to have his deepest desires realized. But if you look closer, it also contains the evidence that he won't. There's a lot more going on for him.
Yes, he still falls for obvious tricks. He is still extremely into monsters, and he still doesn't feel like he fits in with other people. He may, deep down, crave to surrender to the monstrous - to let it absorb him. But he questions more than he seems to. He considers more than people realize. He cares so much more than anyone gives him credit for.
And I think this is part of why we see the succubus called back to so many times, especially with the wolf head addition to his Monster Form, which he specifically added due to his encounter with the Scylla Marcille.
This all stays with Laios. It doesn't just foreshadow the path of the story, it is fundamental to how and why he walks that path. It's not about him choosing monsters, and it's not about him choosing people. It's about how he considers both, and cares about both.
And it's about the forces that think they already know his answer. Mithrun and Kabru. The Winged Lion. The succubus.
It's about how they are wrong.
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meelusinee · 1 month ago
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NOW SHE HAS ME UNDER HER SKIRT ✦ M.R x READER
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in which mattheo is absolutely in love with you before you two even talk for the first time (part one to lovesick!mattheo)
SECOND PART HERE - lovesick!mattheo christmas edition
pairing: lovesick!mattheo riddle x reader tags: lovesick mattheo, fem reader, so tamino inspired word count: 3.7k warnings: just fluff again! along with easily flustered mattheo (+ teasing theo)
author's note: my second post!! i made a small playlist of tamino songs i used for mattheo in this. if you haven’t, please go listen to him (his music is so good). i based this off a small part of my first fic where theo sang to reader. as always, while english is my first (and only) language, that does not mean i claim it in any way shape or form (aka this will probably suck ass)
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NOW SHE HAS ME UNDER HER SKIRT | M.R x READER
Mattheo didn’t know much about love. 
Between being raised by a dictator and his craziest follower, he already didn’t have a very good start. Especially whenever he would get in trouble, the Cruciatus Curse was definitely no joke. Not to mention everyone pestering him about the legacy he led. News flash to the Gryffindors who would try to pick on him, he found it quite obvious that he was Voldemort’s son.
Suffice to say that he didn’t know much about love. He never had a true showcase of it, never had an example of it to compare to anything. The closest he ever had being another stunted teenager by the name of Theodore that considered him his brother, but even then there was still distance.
That was until he met you.
You, the most beautiful person he had ever met in his entire existence on this Earth. Anything he  lol looked at on you he would find absolutely perfect, from the color of your eyes to the way your hair bounced in the sunlight.
That alone made it hard to approach you. Your nice demeanor seemed to make it even harder.
So, he settled with admiring from afar. Mattheo knew your schedule, the classes that you would take and every time that it varied. He would subtly watch you in classes, hang around the same areas you did during your break periods, or even where you went for fun. And, to the best of his ability, he tried to avoid things that looked bad. No more fights or cursing, not unless he was truly provoked.
His mind also got its grubby hands on the idea of a journal. A place he could write about you freely, one he charmed so only he could read it. Entries, song ideas, anything he could think of. You made him an artist, you as his perfect muse.
And it all got even better when you two finally met.
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You had just walked down to the courtyard, Mary Janes clacking along the rocks as you made your way over to a small pillar.
Recently, you noticed someone sitting by the pillars a lot more than usual. He was tall, his face usually covered by his brown curls as he wrote inna small journal he always carried with him. Said tall man with a face covered by his brown curls was your current potions partner, you had both been assigned to create a Liquid Luck potion.
“Hello?” you called out gently. face tilted down just a bit as you looked down at him. His eyes locked with yours when he looked up, the most beautiful shade of molten honey you had ever seen meeting your eyes. “Hi there, stranger.”
“Hello?” he whispered back at you, eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. His face looked rather cute when it was all scrunched up like that, a light blush covering his cheeks.
“I’m your Potions partner.” you said with a smile, flattening your skirt before moving to sit down next to him. “For the Liquid Luck project.”
“Oh,” he whispered, nodding as he closed his journal. It had a rather pretty leather cover, the pages aged and covered in ink from what you could tell. “Yeah, I remember. Y/N, right?”
“Yeah,” you smiled, nodding. “And you’re Mattheo.”
“Yes I am.” he said, a soft smile coming on his face as he heard that. He looked at you with something special in his eyes, eyes that carved themselves deep into your soul with the most intricate patterns you could think of.
The trance both of you seemed to be stuck in was broken when he cleared his throat, fingers tapping on his journal. “Did you have any ideas for the project?”
“Oh,” you whispered, nodding. “Yes, yes I do. I was thinking that we head to the library and research different potion methods and whatnot. Based on Slughorn’s instructions, I’m assuming that the instructions in the books won’t help much.”
“You’re a genius.” he whispered, barely loud enough for you to hear.
“What was that?” you asked him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Nothing,” he said, clearing his throat as he began to sit up. “Do you want to go now?”
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Mattheo thought that he was dreaming, if he was being honest.
The girl of his dreams, the girl that he had wrote almost obsessively day and night about for almost six years, that same girl was currently sitting across from him. Laughing.
“You’re ridiculous,” she smiled at his joke, her voice sweet like a piece of cotton candy melting on your tongue. He didn’t even remember what he had joked about at this point, his mind turning to mush the moment he heard that sound pass your lips.
Those lips that haunted his dreams every single night, the image of them so plush and pure he wanted to worship them like one would a holy angel. They looked absolutely perfect.
“Thank you,” he whispered, smiling softly as he rested his chin on his hand. He probably looked like a lovesick puppy, but he didn’t mind. 
“I found something really interesting in this book  by the way,” you said, Mattheo’s eyes instantly darting to where your hands were resting on the page. “It says in the recipe that we need to juice a squill bulb, which most people just cut it for. But this recipe here notes that squeezing ingredients over a funnel gets more juice out.”
“That’s really interesting.” he whispered, his gaze looking at your face as you spoke. 
“Isn’t it?” you asked with a smile. “And here it says that adding the entire Murtlap makes the potion last longer, rather than just growth.”
“That’s also really interesting.” he whispered again, gaze still stuck on your face. You looked so pretty whenever you were concentrating on things, the way your eyebrows furrowed making him think of a million different songs and rhythms. 
“Is it?” you asked with a chuckle.
“Well,” he muttered, looking at you with a small smile on his face. “I always found Potions an interesting topic.”
“Always is not a word. It’s more of a concept.” you said, humming as you continued reading the pages. Mattheo chuckled softly, looking at you like a lovesick puppy.
“You’re lovely,” he whispered. 
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Theo was sitting in his bed reading a book, his curtains almost completely closed as he flipped between page to page. At least, he pretended to.
Recently, he had noticed Mattheo’s obsessive journaling habits. How his hands would be covered in ink by the time he was finished, or how he’d write until his new candle burnt out. Sometimes Mattheo would write even when the candle burnt out, instead opting for yet another one.
It was rather concerning to Theo, to say the least. Out of all of the things Mattheo could do, he was changing who he was. Self-improvement was one thing, but it seemed like he changed an obsession from fighting to writing.
“I can feel you staring at me.” Mattheo mumbled, looking back over at where Theo was sitting.
“I’m surprised you can,” Theo said under his breath, closing his book and standing up. “With how much you’ve been writing, I’d assume you get sucked in by a black hole sometime soon.”
“Oh hush,” he whispered, looking up from the journal. His hands were stained black and red with quill ink, the candle beside him still burning brightly. “Why do you keep staring at me? You’ve been doing it all week.”
“Your journal.” Theo smirked, walking behind Mattheo and placing his hands on his Mattheo’s shoulder. “What’s inside?”
“Why would I tell you?” Mattheo grumbled, continuing to write in the journal. Theo’s eyes squinted as they tried to read whatever was on the page, but the words were too jumbled to make any sense to him. No doubt a charm.
“You charmed the journal?” Theo asked curiously, looking down at Mattheo.
“Like you care.” he whispered under his breath, the quill scratching loudly against the paper. The room was quiet other than that, nothing but the quill scratching and the candle crackling.
“I do.” Theo said, his voice a bit more stern. He pulled up a chair next to Mattheo, resting his elbow on the table. “Mattheo, you’re pushing everyone away. Even me, and it’s not healthy. All you do is write in this journal, it’s kind of worrying.”
“I just like writing,” Mattheo whispered, moving his legs to rest his knees near his chest.
“About what?” Theo asked, his voice more soft than teasing.
“You’ll judge.” Mattheo whispered again, flicking the quill back and forth as his eyes glanced over at Theo. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because you’re my best friend.” Theo whispered. “I promise I won’t judge.”
Mattheo sighed before turning to the journal, pressing his wand against it as the words came into view more clearly. His handwriting was a lot more cursive than Theo first remembered, no doubt changing the more he wrote. 
“It’s a journal about her,” Mattheo whispered, flipping through some of the pages. “Love letters, poems, songs and stuff.”
“Her?” Theo asked curiously. “Who’s her?”
“Her,” Mattheo muttered to Theo, picking at his fingernails as he spoke. He looked like a blushing schoolboy who found his first love, it was rather cute to watch. “It’s, like, she’s a girl I just really like. I think about her a lot, you know? And I’m just trying to improve myself for her.”
“What’s her name?” Theo asked, resting his head against his hand as he crossed his legs.
“Y/N.” Mattheo sighed, like the word itself was a part of some holy prophecy. “She’s so beautiful, you know? Like something from heaven, just beautiful. And I just can’t get her out of my head.”
“Have you ever tried talking to her?” Theo asked, a small smile on his face.
“We have this project together right now.” he said, chuckling softly as he spoke. He was so down bad. “She took me to the library to research more about potions. Merlin, she’s so smart Theo. She figured the reason why nobody could make the potion was because the instructions were wrong.”
“So you both started researching?” Theo asked.
“She researched, yeah,” Mattheo said, before chuckling again. His hand moved to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “I kind of just sat watching her the entire time.” 
“Mattheo,” Theo chuckled softly, shaking his head. 
“You said you wouldn’t judge!” Mattheo protested.
“I’m not judging.” Theo chuckled, looking down at the journal. “I’m just confused on how you think you’ll get your girl if you can’t even talk to her. Journaling can only go so far.”
“I know,” Mattheo whispered, looking down at his journal again. “But it still helps.”
Theo nodded, looking down at the journal again. “What are you writing about right now?”
“Uh,” he muttered, looking at the pages. “It’s a song. She said something at the library that made me think of a song, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.”  
“What’s it sound like.” Theo asked, leaning back in his seat.
“Uhm,” he whispered, picking at his nails again as he pushed the journal towards Theo. He hummed softly as he picked it up, eyes squinting as he tried to read his handwriting.
Darling, just calm with your voice
Let your heart sing, how I always enjoy 
When you say “always” is not a word
You think love is a bit absurd.
“That’s really nice,” Theo said, looking up at Mattheo with a small smirk. “This is a lot better than I thought it’d be, to be honest.”
“What did you think I was writing about?” Mattheo asked confusedly.
“Dark magic or something.” Theo chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Like you were possessed by a ghost to figure out how to resurrect themselves.”
Mattheo chuckled at that, taking his journal back. “I think you’ll find someone like this, you know. It makes life really nice.”
“Being in love?” Theo asked, an eyebrow raised.
“Yeah,” Mattheo whispered. “In love.”
“Well, there’s always an opportunity for that. And when it happens, it’ll happen.” Theo said, patting his pockets and pulling out a box of cigarettes. “But until then, there’s cigarettes.”
“You know the way to my heart, don’t you?” Mattheo snickered at that, using the lit candle to light his own cigarette.
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It had been a couple of weeks since you and Mattheo had started working on your project. You had figured out how to maximize the efficiency of your potion brewing, including changing methods of brewing and preparing ingredients. After about three different trials, you had finally found the perfect way to brew the potion. 
“That’s perfect.” Mattheo smiled softly at you, chuckling softly as he scratched the back of his neck. In all honesty, it looked like a regular potion to him. “I think that’s perfect, right?”
“That is perfect.” you said, giggling softly as his reaction You found it rather cute, if you were being honest. He seemed rather nervous around you. “Thank you for doing all of this with me, the potion work and all. Most people would probably just leave it to me, you know?”
“Why would they leave?” Mattheo asked, eyebrows furrowing.
You shrugged, looking down at the potion still set in the cauldron as you spoke. “I don’t really know. I guess people consider me weird or something like that. Someone said that I was whimsical once, I don’t think it was a nice way though.”
“That’s absolutely ridiculous.” Mattheo spat. He couldn’t understand the logic of that. In his eyes, you were absolutely perfect. He would give anything in the world to hang out with you more often than he got too, and people gave that up for free? The thought was absolutely ridiculous.
You chuckled quietly at that, smiling softly. “Yeah?”
“Definitely. I mean,” he paused, looking up at you like that was the most absurd thing in the entire world. He had a small flush on his face, no doubt questioning what he was going to say. “I mean, you’re such a nice person. And I think that hanging around you is comforting.”
“And I think that you’re rather sweet.” you chuckled, looking at him with a soft smile.
“I’m being serious!” Mattheo said, looking you in the eyes. You hadn’t heard him talk this much in the entire time that you had been working with him, and you especially didn’t expect it to be him defending you. “You’re just, like, you. Which is really sweet, you know? I really like you and your whimsy, or whatever they try to call you.”
You giggled again, smiling softly at him as you scooted a bit closer. “You’re rather nice yourself, if I do say so myself.”
“Thank you.” he whispered, his voice raising a pitch as he looked at the potion. “Do we need to test this?”
“I think so.” she nodded. “Do you want to do it?”
Mattheo looked at the potion, a small frown coming on her face. If anything went wrong with the podcast, he wouldn’t want you to be hurt by it. Which led to him nodding, the best option for him obviously being him taking the potion himself. 
“I’ll bottle it for you.” you said, grabbing the small ladle and pouring it inside the potion vial. “Here, one vial of Liquid Luck for you.”
Mattheo smiled softly as he took a sniff of it. “Is it meant to smell like something?”
“No, just air. I mean, clean air. Not like toxic air or anything.” you said, before ending your small speel. “It doesn’t smell like anything.”
Mattheo nodded again, taking a swig of it before coughing. “That’s definitely hot.”
“It did just come off the cauldron.” you chuckled, fingers fidgeting slightly. “Do you feel lucky?”
Mattheo looked up at you with a look you could only describe as a lovesick puppy, a small flush covering his face as he admired you. You could only assume the amount of thoughts running through his mind were plenty, some very hard to sort through. 
“Yeah,” he whispered, blinking slowly as he looked at you. “Very lucky.”
You chuckled softly at that, your face flushing as you watched his eyes lock onto your lips. “Do I have something on my lips or something?”
“No,” he whispered softly, his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he spoke. “No, I just,”
“Something on my teeth?” you asked, shining your teeth to him.
“I want to kiss you.” he whispered. 
Your mouth closed again as you heard that, eyes locking onto his after he spoke. That didn’t last long though, as his eyes focused back on your lips again. “You what?”
“I want to kiss you.” he said a bit more clearly, his voice hoarse as he spoke. “I mean, I don’t want to pressure you. But I really want to kiss you.”
“You can kiss me.” you whispered softly to him, scooting a bit closer to him in return. 
Mattheo blinked for a couple of seconds, the shock of your answer plastered on his face. It filled you with a small sense of confidence, the blush on his face fueling your own. “I can?”
“You can.” you smiled.
Mattheo smiled brightly at that, the burn of it brighter than the sun sucking his lips in like a blackhole would. His lips immediately met yours, burning like fireworks against his skin. It was absolute bliss to him, burning through his skin and turning him into nothing but lovesick ash.
“Your lips are absolutely perfect, my love.” he whispered, his eyes boring into yours with a gaze full of adoration. “So perfect.”
“Was your luck to try and kiss me, Riddle?” you chuckled softly at him. 
“This is the luckiest moment of my life.” he whispered. 
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“Theo!” Mattheo spat out, opening the dorm room door as he stormed in. His palms looked sweaty, and his face was absolutely covered in a bright blush. 
“Mattheo.” Theo said his name back, closing his book as he looked at where Mattheo had stormed in. He looked absolutely wrecked, almost drenched in sweat. “You look like you just got your ass kicked on the Quidditch field.”
“I just,” he whispered, walking closer to Theo as he paced around the room. “I just kissed her.”
“Y/N?” Theo asked, a small smile crossing her face. “You kissed her?”
“It was so perfect.” he whispered, laying down on Theo’s bed. “Like, it was like her lips had a magnetic pull on me. I couldn’t stop for the next hour. A whole hour!”
“That’s wild, mate.” he chuckled softly, patting Mattheo on the head.
“It was just perfect,” he whispered under his breath, sighing softly. “Like, I don’t know how else to describe it. Maybe like looking at a supernova for the first time.”
“You are down bad, Mattheo.” he chuckled softly at that, continuing to pat his friend on the head.
“And then we, after that right?” he said, the smile on his face only growing larger. “We snuck off to this broom closet. You know the ones. And we did, we had,” he paused, sighing in frustration as his words jumbled in his head. “You know?”
“I know.” Theo chuckled.
“I have a song idea again.” Mattheo said, sitting up again as he rushed to the journal he kept so dearly to his heart. “I will be dead to the world for the next few hours.”
“You want me to go tell Y/N that, lover boy?” Theo smirked.
“She can come in whenever.” Mattheo said, dipping his quill in black ink. “I already gave her our dormitory password.”
“You what?”
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“I have a present for you.” Mattheo whispered under his breath, a small smile on his face as he walked towards you.
It was the 6 month anniversary of one of the happiest relationships you had ever been in. There was communication and there was love. Small dates near the Black Lake at midnight, with breakfast you stole from the Great Hall earlier. Times where he’d take you into town and let you dress up however you wanted, all on the cards he stole from Malfoy. Or small get-togethers like this, hangouts at the top of the Astronomy Tower. 
And the presents were always lovely. Small poems that he wrote for you, or love letters that he hand wrapped himself. A small blush or dress you had been eyeing for more than two seconds, or room decor that went with your forever indecisive aesthetics. 
“You do?” you giggled softly, gasping softly as he pulled out a small guitar. “A song?”
“I’ve written a couple for you,” he whispered. “And I wanted to sing them to you. For our anniversary.”
“I love you.” you giggled, smiling as he sat down.
He cleared his throat as he made sure the guitar was in tune, strumming a few chords before eventually developing a melody. It seemed almost hypnotic the way his hands moved, his voice humming along as he figured out the rhythm.
“Yesterday, I was a word. Left with no voice to speak it,” he hummed softly, his voice and the guitar both vibrating through the walls. You smiled brightly as you heard his voice, not realizing how pretty his voice actually sounded.
“Now I am a happy song, placed on the lips of a woman.” he sang, winking at you. He continued for a few lines, a small smirk growing on his lips as he got to the instrumental part.
“What are you going to sing next?” you asked, watching him giggle softly. “Seriously!”
“Patience,” he whispered, chuckling as he strung the melody again, his eyes darting down at the guitar. “Now she has me, under her skirt,”
“Mattheo!” you flushed, slapping his arm and breaking the rhythm of his song. “My skirt?”
The both of you burst out into a laugh at that, the sound breaking through the cold night air that breezed through the alcove you sat in. Or maybe you just felt warm in his presence, a constant feeling of love rushing through your body.
“Can I finish my song now?” he smirked.
“I suppose you could.” you whispered, resting your head on his shoulder as he continued to sing.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
my second post oh my GOD this one took a hot minute to get through. beta-reading and proof reading is definitely not my jam, and there's definitely things that i missed in this. but i hope it still works out well, especially the whole lovesick angle i was going for. if you guys haven't already, please please please go check out tamino's music. it is actually so. good. if you listen to hozier or adrianne lenker, i think you'd really like his songs (my favorites are the first disciple and habibi)
if you would like to read the second part, click here!
as always, please like, comment, and reblog! it really helps out, and i really appreciate everyone who does! if you guys have any requests or something you can request in the ask box!
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lnfours · 2 months ago
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close to you | l.n
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summary: chemical override, ultraviolet, you could be mine tonight ; or having a crush is mind boggling, soul crushing and confusing, but also so exciting at the same time.
warnings: inspired by close to you by gracie abrams, friends to lovers (bc it’s my brand), pining, all the feels, reader is childhood best friends with pietra, fluff, and some language here and there
jordans notes: hi everyone! long time no see (😅) i’m slowly getting back into writing, school has been kicking my ass. i don’t think this is my best work, but i really wanted to get something out for you guys since ive been gone so long! i promise there’s more to come than just this! i hope you all are well!! sending you all my love 🤍
masterlist | listen to the playlist
before you met him, you didn’t think about the color green too often. it was one of those colors you didn’t necessarily love or hate, it was just kind of… there.
to you, it was just one of those colors where shades of it were prettier than the actual color itself. or a color you only really liked during the fall. like how, typically, people only liked the color blue during the summer.
that was until you met him.
the boy with those big, beautiful, slightly blue but slightly green, water-colored eyes. now you love the color green. obsessed over it. thought about it every second of every day. it was crazy how a simple opinion could change in a matter of seconds, all because of those stupidly pretty eyes.
You lie awake on your back, staring at the ceiling. surely it wasn’t normal to obsess over someone this much, right? especially over someone you weren’t even sure would ever feel the same.
sure, you had crushes before, and had your fair share of falling quickly and all at once. it wasn’t an unusual feeling to you, no stranger to catching feelings rather quickly.
but this time around, everything was different. everything felt more intense, more mind-boggling and confusing and pulse rising. the feeling so foreign that sometimes you wish you had never met him so you wouldn’t have fallen so hard so sudden, but deep down you were so glad that you had.
it was the little things that made you wonder what it was like to be loved by him. the subtle glances in your direction, the gentle but lingering touches. you had thought you were going crazy, reading too much into things in the beginning. over-analyzing every little thing that made your body light up with excitement.
until pietra confirmed your suspicions.
“he’s totally into you,” she said, leaning closer to your ear as you watched him from across the room, his head tilted back, nose scrunched and eyes half shut as he laughed about something max had said, which was likely something stupid, “like, one hundred percent, down bad, into you.”
you tilted your head at the blonde, “you think so?”
she scoffed, “more like know so,”
“who told you?”
“no one has to tell me anything,” she said, “i can just tell.”
you rolled your eyes at her, “p, i’ve told you a million times, he’s not into me.”
but she was right. he was one hundred percent, undoubtedly, down. fucking. bad.
ever since the moment he met you at that stupid pub with max and his group of friends, all he wanted to do was get to know you. he didn’t want it to seem obvious when he asked max about you, but he knew no matter what he did it was going to seem obvious. just from the way he looked at you like you hung the stars in the night sky, he was no where near subtle.
he hated to admit it, but he had even done some lowkey instagram stalking through one of his private accounts. he had seen all the pictures of you and pietra, a life long friendship explained to him in front of his own eyes.
and every time his fingers would swipe through your account, all he could think about was how beautiful you were. how your eyes sparkled every time you smiled for the camera, how happy you looked when you genuinely laughed, and how he wished to be the reason behind the gorgeous sound forever.
he wasn’t trying to make it obvious tonight, not wanting to make it well known that he had his eyes on you for a while. but he had lost track at the amount of times you had caught him looking at you, and he swore he had even caught you looking at him first a handful of times.
so when everyone in the house decided that it was the end of the night and started filing through the door, he took it upon himself to make his way over to you. you were talking with pietra, a smile on your face as you giggled about something she had said. the brazilian woman’s eyes landed on him, to which she looked back at you and said something before you turned to look in his direction.
he smiled when your eyes met his, “hey, did you need a ride home?”
your heart threatened to leap out of your chest, “uhm, i was just gonna call an uber, you don’t have to-“
“no, no,” he said, shaking his head, “i insist, really. it’s not a big deal.”
how could you argue with him? those pretty green eyes, that smile, the face. you simply couldn’t. it was impossible. you couldn’t see the look pietra was giving you, but knowing her, you knew it was a look that said ‘go with him’.
and do you did, the cool, crisp autumn air in london suddenly making you wish you had brought a jacket. you had wished you planned for the nightly breeze, wishing you had opted for a long-sleeved shirt for the night instead of the spaghetti strap tank top you had chosen.
as you walked to the car that was parked down the street, he noticed you shivering. he saw the way you hugged yourself, your hair moving with the breeze. his curls danced in the wind and he knew if he was slightly cold, you were definitely freezing.
he tugged off the hoodie before passing it to you, the sound of the doors to the mclaren echoing before he turned to you.
“here,” he said, “it’s a little windy out, i know you’re probably freezing.”
your stomach did backflips as you took the soft black material from his hands, “oh, are you sure? aren’t you cold?”
he sent you a shrug, “i’ll live,”
there was no use arguing with him, so instead you sent him another smile in appreciation before tugging the sweatshirt over your head. it was already warm from hugging his body, and you couldn't help the way the smell of his cologne lingered in the soft material. you had to keep yourself from burying yourself in it, the feeling of being close to him without actually being close to him sending butterflies to your stomach.
the car ride was filled with comfortable silence, music softly playing in the background. he stole occasional looks over at your figure as you looked out the window, the neck of his hoodie pulled up to your face as you watched the street lights pass by. you looked beautiful in the dim light, he couldn’t help himself.
he thought about taking the long way to your house. a simple but effective way to be able to spend more time with you. however, the thought of you being confused and questioning his actions was enough for him to stay straight at the stop light instead of taking a right for the longer way.
he tried not to look disappointed when he reached your house, parking in front of it. he wondered if your roommates were home, if you’d tell them about the fact that he drove you home.
he turned the engine off, unclicking his seatbelt, “i’ll walk you up.”
you nodded, the both of you getting out of the car and walking through the dewy grass up to the wooden door. you fished for your keys in your purse, putting them into the lock before turning to look at him, “thanks for the ride,”
“anytime,” he smiled. he meant it. and you knew he meant it. he’d come get you at anytime of the day, wether it was early in the morning or late at night, he was always going to show up.
you stood there, eyes searching his face. he was so pretty to you, the brown curls that were slowly growing into a mullet to the sparkling eyes that you loved so much. the dimples in his cheeks that appeared whenever he smiled, the slight facial hair he had managed to grow, but your favorite part was the moles and freckles that covered his skin. the ones he had once complained about, but you loved the way they scattered his skin.
you dreamt of kissing each and every single one of them.
“hey, lando! long time no see!”
you both averted your attention, neither of you hearing the door open behind you. in the doorway stood your dark haired roommate, faith.
“hey,” he smiled softly, trying once again to not look disappointed from the way your moment was interrupted.
“we’re having drinks and watching movies if you wanted to join,” she smiled, ignoring the look you were sending her way.
“oh, uhm,” he started, not sure how to answer, “it’s getting kinda late, i dunno-“
“you can crash in y/n’s room, im sure she wouldn’t mind.”
what was that supposed to mean?
you looked over at him, “you don’t have to stay-“
“he’s been gone for weeks, he’s legally obligated,” she said, reaching from the doorway and grabbing both of your arms, “c’mon, liv is making martinis.”
you sighed heavily and he laughed softly at your protest that went unnoticed by her. your other roommate, olivia, stood in the kitchen.
“look who i found!” faith exclaimed excitedly.
“oh, hey guys! just in time,” she smiled, “it’s martini and movie friday!”
lando leaned over to you as the other two talked, “they do this every friday?”
you sighed again, nodding, “unfortunately,” you turned to your roommates, “we’re gonna head up to my room, actually,”
you led lando to the stairs, ignoring the playful teasing from the girls in the kitchen, “oooh!!”
“up to your room, huh?”
you shook your head, opening your bedroom door and letting him in before closing it, “‘m sorry for them, they’re… how do i put this?”
“a lot?” he asked, a smile playing at his lips.
“yeah, we can put it that way.”
he chuckled, sitting down on the bed as you put your things down. he looked around your bedroom, not much had changed since the last time he had been in it. the fairy lights dimly lit up the room, photos littered the walls. the desk that sat in the corner of the room kept your makeup bag and brushes, a mirror sitting in the middle.
he looked at your nightstand, a picture of you, him, max and pietra sitting on the wooden surface. it was a picture from miami, smiles on all of your faces. you stood in the middle, arm wrapped around his middle as you smiled for the camera, his trophy in the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your middle.
“i’m gonna change,” you said, “i might have a pair of your sweatpants somewhere if you wanted to change.”
he nodded, “yeah, that’d be great.”
you turned back to the dresser, opening drawers in search for the pair of sweatpants he leant you one day. the same day he picked you up from the failed date. the one that left you crying outside, swearing up and down that you’d never find love. despite it being in front of you this entire time.
finally finding the black material, you handed them to him, “i meant to give them back, but i just haven’t seen you,”
he shook his head. you could’ve kept them forever and he wouldn’t have minded one bit, “it’s alright,”
you grabbed your pajama bottoms from the foot of the bed, “be right back.”
he changed into the sweatpants while you were gone, still looking around your room. he smiled at the picture of you and your roommates, clearly taken at a party. you wore the prettiest smile he had ever seen, dressed in a black off the shoulder top. it was from the same night he realized he liked you in more than just a friendly way.
the door opening brought him back to reality, his eyes landing on your figure and how you were still wearing the black hoodie he had given you earlier. it brought a small smile to his face.
you noticed his eyes on you, looking down at the black hoodie, “i swear i’ll give it back once i wash it.”
he laughed softly, shaking his head, “it’s okay. it looks better on you anyways.”
you smiled, fighting the heat that was rising your cheeks but it was no use. he joined you on the bed, watching as you flipped through different things on netflix.
“you don’t have to stay, y’know,” you said, looking over at him, “if you have better things to do..”
“i don’t,” he said, turning his head to look your way, “in all honesty, there’s no where else i’d rather be.”
you sucked in a breath, your eyes dancing across his face once again. it was hard for you not to stare, not when he looked so pretty like this. back pressed against your headboard, hair slightly messy, and he looked so cozy. it made you want to wrap yourself around him, lay your head on his chest.
he did the same, his eyes scanning your face like he was trying to memorize every single feature, every single imperfection that he thought was still perfect. the same ones you’d argue about, but he still always found adorable.
his voice broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between the two of you, “do you ever have something to say but can’t find the words to say it?”
your furrowed your eyebrows, “like?”
he licked his lips, his attention now fixed on his hands as he fiddled with the ring on his middle finger. you never thought he’d be the type to get shy, almost embarrassed as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.
“like, i dunno,” he mumbled, “i just.. i don’t know how to put it, but ever since the moment we met, i’ve found myself just.. thinking about you. thinking about what it’d be like to cross this weird, thin, little line we’ve drawn. if we both just said ‘fuck it’ and dove head first into whatever uncharted territory we’re tiptoeing around.”
his eyes met yours again as he let out a nervous breath. you hadn’t realized you had been holding yours, shock clearly written on your face which made him shake his head.
“never mind, it’s dumb-“
“lando,”
“- i knew i shouldn’t have listened to what max was going on about-“
you rolled your eyes as he kept blabbering away, talking nonsense. your body moving before your brain could comprehend what you were about to do, only catching up when your hands met his jaw and you were suddenly catching yourself a mere few inches from his face.
it was too late now, no going back.
you pulled his face closer to yours, his blabbering coming to a halt when you pressed your lips to his. his brain short circuited, you pulling away before he had the chance to kiss you back.
“‘m sorry,” you immediately apologized, “i don’t know why i did-“
it was his turn to cut you off now, grabbing your chin and pulling you back to his lips. his thumb traced along your jaw, his pointer finger sitting underneath your chin.
you kissed him back after a second of surprise, letting his free hand reach down to grab your hip, pulling you on top of his lap. your hands threaded through his curls, nails scratching his scalp.
when you both finally pulled away, all you could do was smile. giggles and chuckles echoing through the room as you both sat breathless, his nose bumping yours as he tucked a piece of stray hair away from your face.
“so we’re in agreement then, huh?” he asked.
“isn’t that obvious?” you smiled and he shook his head, letting out another boyish laugh.
“how long have you.. y’know, had feelings for me, i guess?”
“since the minute i saw you,” he confessed, “you were the most beautiful girl in the room, a smile that would make everyone stop and stare. it’s always been you, i’ve just been too scared to tell you.”
you smiled again, heart fluttering in your chest. all the dreams and wishes you spent with him on your mind, it was all finally paying off, “it’s always been you for me, too. i thought i had been way too obvious, but clearly i wasn’t obvious enough.”
“we were both too oblivious,” he said, moving more hair from your face, “but it’s okay, we’re here now.”
you were convinced your smile was never going to be wiped off your face, “kiss me again,”
“with pleasure,” he mumbled, lips finding yours once more as you melted into him.
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thinkinonsense · 3 months ago
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Bewitched
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˖⋆࿐໋ james logan howlett ✦ bridgerton au series
bewitched masterlist
cw: 1800s mentality on marriage and women, pinning, bickering, enemies to lovers
pairing: viscount!logan howlett x fem!reader
a/n: as of right now, i'm not sure how long this series will be but i'm so excited for it! i tried to make the reader as universal as possible but i did have to give her some sort of last name, so if that isn't your thing, you can always change it to fit. after the set up, i'll probably drop the last name.
bridgerton lore: ton (high society), debuting (when you begin dating/looking for a partner), spinster (an unmarried woman)
main masterlist
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in early june, everyone returned back to england for this season and whispers of a french woman joining the ton spread around. one morning at breakfast, marie howlett was reading one of the gossip columns aloud to her family when her eldest brother, james walked into join them at the table.
"it says she's staying with her aunt, lady worthington. she is four and twenty and the only child. her passions are literature and painting. apparently, the queen has one of her paintings in her home..."
"she sounds lovely. doesn't she, james?" their mother said, hoping her boy was listening.
"she's a spinster." he says, eating some of the fruit on the table. "that's not viscountess material."
"the queen seems to find her to be diamond material." marie jabs.
james has never fallen for one of the diamonds. sure, their beauty is prominent and sometimes they can hold an intellectual conversation but for the most part they are simply shoved forward so the queen can take credit for their marriage.
"i have more important priorities this season."
"well, this season you should prioritize finding a viscountess." their mother bit at him.
during this time every year his mother gives james the same speech over and over again. the marriage speech. ever since his father died during battle, james has been plagued with not only his grief but also the weight of replacing his father and eventually having to find a replacement for his mother as well. instead of focusing on marriage, james kept himself busy either working or traveling and keeping his family afloat.
"mama, i promise i will find a wife at some point." james sighs. "i just haven't met anyone that can handle being my viscountess."
"what about the red headed girl from last season? you seemed to fancy her quite a bit."
"she married lord summers this past spring."
"and the munroe girl?"
"she's interested in mister brooks."
all his mother does is sigh in response to the news. he takes this as the perfect chance to escape the interrogation.
luckily for james, there was always an excuse to avoid marriage. in the past he's gotten close to making that walk down the aisle but something always held him back. he's never believed much in love or marriage past it's convenience. sure, he believed it was the blueprint of life, to take a wife and start a family but his marriage is seen as a much bigger deal.
all the mamas in the ton were practically throwing their daughters in his direction. at balls, he's always forcing marie to dance with him because if not, he will be forced to socialize with these young unintellectual girls who only value him for his money and title. james didn't want to have to nurture these girls. he would take care of his wife but he wanted someone who was independent from him.
ever since his father died in the war, james has always been guarded of his feelings. especially, when it came to love. when he went with his mother to identify his father's body, james swore on that day that he would never let love destroy him like it did his mother.
"remember, marie is debuting tonight at the first ball of the season." his mother called after him. "don't be late."
"i wouldn't miss it." he smiles at his little sister before dashing out the door and back to his study.
˖⋆࿐໋
a rainbow of silks are spread across your bed as you try to figure out what to wear tonight. if your mother was here, she would know exactly what would look best on you. it's only been three months since her passing yet the ache in your chest grows stronger day by day.
"what are you thinking of wearing tonight?" your aunt asks, lingering in the doorway.
"i'm not sure yet." you sigh, picking at the pretty gowns. "i like the light blue one."
arguably, it was the prettiest in the pile. so simple, you hoped to blend in among the wash of colors in the room tonight. the boning of the corset poked the left side of your ribs a little but beauty is pain.
as you got ready, the nerves started to kick in. by now you should be on your second or third child and pregnant with the next. why was love taking so long to find you?
ever since you were a little girl, you were a hopeless romantic. dreaming of your first kiss and getting married to your knight in shining armor. back home, there was a cruel joke that you were the girl before the wife. you get just close enough before they end it. afraid that the curse would travel with you.
"don't worry." you aunt hums, brushing your hair. "the queen picked you as her diamond for a reason."
"i know, i know." you nod, avoiding your reflection in the mirror. "i just wish mother was here with me."
"i do too, dear."
"she should've seen me married."
a small tear rolls down your pink painted cheeks. it feels like you let her down by not taking a husband before her illness got worse.
men have it so easy. there's no pressure from society put on them. you can marry at fifty to a nineteen year old if you so please because you know that they will marry you out of fear and desperation.
"who says she can't?" your aunts smile reflected in the mirror. "she's still looking down on you, probably working on sending you a lord or a duke for a husband as we speak."
"amusing." you giggle.
"imagine a viscount or a prince!"
both of you laugh at the possibility. viscounts and princes were usually swept up quickly in high society. all of them probably have pregnant wives by now.
"don't get too ahead of yourself."
˖⋆࿐໋
the queens ball was unlike anything you had ever seen. beautiful gardens, bright lights, and people gathered everywhere. inside the ballroom, the chandelier lights almost blind you.
like a hawk, lady chamberlain spots you two. she is an older lady and a close family friend. you haven't seen her since you were a little girl, surprised that she was able to recognize you.
"lady worthington and miss bowery, lovely to see you here!" the woman smiled, wrapping her arms around both of you.
"hello, lady chamberlain." you smile, feeling slightly at ease seeing a familiar face here.
"you look marvelous, sweetie." she smiles, taking in your appearance. at least someone appreciated all the bells and whistles that went into your dress for this evening. "truly like a diamond."
"thank you." you curtsy. a warm rose color rises to the surface of your cheeks at her compliment.
"let's go find that viscount i've told your aunt about." she says.
suddenly, she's pulling you and your aunt over to meet everyone.
quite some time has passed and yet you've only met barton's and a few lords. from one eligible bachelor to the next, it was the same process. you introduce yourself, dance, ask a bit about each other, jump into talks of marriage and children. it was all a bit overwhelming to say the least.
there's no news on a prince yet but lady chamberlain was holding out for a viscount while your aunt held out for a duke. meanwhile, you just needed someone with charm and charisma to save you from these godawful men of the ton.
"i'm going to get a drink." you announce, one the music ends.
in one of the dim corners of the room there was a refreshment table where you poured a hefty amount of wine into your glass and down as much of it –in a very unlady like manner– as you could before another person could find you.
it wasn't long until someone behind you clears their voice loudly.
"i was unaware that they taught women to drink like soldiers in france..."
you spin around quickly to face the man in front of you. he is gorgeous and... huge. dawned in white puffy shirt and a tight black vest with detailed buttons. he towered over you intimidatingly with a small smirk creeping on his lips from shocked expression.
"i-i deeply apologize, my lord. it was just grape juice." you laugh nervously, avoiding his piercing stare.
"hm..." he hums, lifting his hand up and letting his thumb swiftly glide under your lip to catch the bit of liquid there. you watch in awe as he licks the bit of wine off his thumb with a soft groan. "they must make 'grape juice' different in france."
never in your whole life have you been left so speechless. a gentleman has never done more so than touch your hand, let alone act so scandalous. with a satisfied smirk, the man walks away to join a small group of young women. thank goodness that no one seemed to have noticed.
"miss bowery!" lady chamberlain called after you. "i want you to come meet the howletts."
swiftly, you get back to her as she approach a mother and daughter. both of them were stunningly and wore expensive looking gowns with luxurious jewels. lady chamberlains wide smile only made you grow more anxious.
"meet lady howlett and her daughter, the honorable, marie howlett." lady chamberlain introduced.
"lovely to meet you." you say, bowing gracefully before them.
"where is viscount james?" lady chamberlain asks.
"oh! he should be around here somewhere..." the woman looked behind the two of you until she flagged someone down. “there he is!”
the moment that you looked up at the viscount, you feared your heart might explode right then and there. silently pray to the gods above that he won't mention your previous encounter.
"miss bowery, this is my son, viscount james logan howlett." lady howlett announces proudly.
"what a pleasure to meet you, miss bowery." james smirked, trying to get a rise out of you.
"as is it for me, my lord." you curtsy politely, feeling hot under his gaze.
a cloud of lust fogs james mind at the words, my lord fell from your pretty, slightly berry colored lips. the lower his eyes drift from your face, the tighter his trousers get. every exquisite curve is highlighted by the way that the silk fell on your frame, reminding him of the goddesses he had only seen in the finest of paintings.
"might you wish to accompany me to a dance?" he asks, extending his hand to you.
you nod, offering him your gloved hand in return.
the two of you make your way to the dance floor with everyone else. the orchestra begins and you quickly fall in sync with each other.
"how are you enjoying england?" james asks.
"it's quite lovely." you lie.
"better than france?" he questioned with a small tilt of his head.
"no." you giggle softly. "nowhere on earth is better than home."
"i suppose i cannot argue with that."
"have you journed to france?"
"once. when i was younger, i went with my father. he loved france."
"that's why my mother left england. she fell in love with my father when she visited france."
"they must be true romantics."
"oh, most definitely." you smile.
carefully, logan spins you twice. never letting you stumble over your own two feet like most men would.
"i truly am sorry for earlier, my lord. that was completely unacceptable for a–"
"it's alright, sweetheart." the viscount cut you off with a chuckle. "your secret is safe with me."
james looks down to see your big round eyes sparkle up at him with great appreciation. there's a unique feeling blooming deep in his chest that he can't quite put his finger on.
"i heard from some mamas that you are seeking to wed this season." you say, looking elsewhere as the two of you pull apart.
"seeking is such a complex word." he sighs amusingly.
"i imagine it would be difficult to find a future viscountess."
"you have no idea."
all around you, you can see the women openly fawning over the viscount. some fan themselves while other clutch their jewels with either anger at you or lust for him. any of those women would duel to be in your shoes right now.
"do you have a desire to be viscountess?" his question made your heartbeat increase, pounding in your chest.
as a young girl, you watched your family struggle in order to survive so it would be a lie to say that you don't dream of having a title. you have a father back in france to take care of in his elderly age. but love was your main desire. you would marry a sweet common man as long as he loved you.
"i desire to be loved." you tell him.
the answer caught james off guard. the women of the ton had no issue telling him to his face that they want his tittle or money. none of those women actually cared about love.
"well, my darling, you are quite the fool to be seeking out something as pure as love in a place such as this." james says, pulling you so close that you can feel his heartbeat in his chest and his eyes darken.
"don't be so cock-sure, viscount howlett. i am no fool at all." you glare angrily up at him. "i wish you well on your journey to find such a bird-witted viscountess."
the song ends and you are quick to make an exit. hot on your heels, james follows you outside. perhaps you shouldn't have insulted the viscount to his face but you didn't quite care anymore. this night has been a bust and you aren't any closer to marriage then you were before walking in here.
"miss, bowery..." a man calls, capturing your attention. "would you accompany me to a dance?"
based on the man's appearance, he seems even more important that the viscount. he was definitely the opposite of james. this man wore light grey in places where james wore black. this man had a sweet smile where james had a scowl.
"her dance card is full." the voice behind you threatened.
the gentleman's face fell a little.
"actually, i have one last spot open on my dance card." you smile, showing him the tag tied to your right wrist which had exactly one spot open. "i would love to accompany you..."
"prince harrison." he grins.
you hum, offering your hand. the prince leans down and kissed your gloved fingers before sweeping you off to the dance floor again.
james fumed as he watched you walk away with the prince. lady howlett spots her son alone and walks over to him.
“please tell me that you did not scare off this seasons diamond, james.” lady howlett asked in a low whisper.
“i’m gonna call a carriage” he growls, annoyed.
“dear!”
his mother called after him but he couldn’t care to turn around and stay here any longer.
˖⋆࿐໋
on the carriage ride alone, james is stuck with the image of you. your beauty and the pain in your eyes when james called you a fool. oddly enough, james enjoyed the way you bit back at him. he just wishes that he hadn’t offended you.
apparently you must not be that hurt if you accepted a dance from harrison of all people. not because he wanted to court you but because harrison was barely considered a prince and was a poor excuse of a man. never having to lift a finger a day in his life. never knowing a single struggle. the prince was insufferable.
perhaps it was in james best interest to forget about the beautiful woman he met this evening. she is this seasons diamond after all, desired by too many. james wasn't known to chase the things he desired.
──★
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