#especially for people who experienced trauma as a kid

[ablatheringblatherskite]

I can't really word exactly why this episode breaks me so goshdang much, but it does. It never fails to make me cry no matter where I'm at emotionally when I'm watching it. It just breaks and heals my heart and soul in a way very few pieces of media have ever managed to. So I'm dropping this here. Enjoy.

[iwieldthesword]

Me: hey it's kind of concerning that you've been accusing all antizionist Jews of being pick-me traitors or fake Jews. You okay?

Them: you're a sellout Good Jew™ to goyish oppressors and ngl you're probably trying to convert me to paganism

Me:

[agirlinthegalaxy]

Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.

I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.

[yanmuffins]

I've been thinking and I've come to the conclusion that it wouldn't make much sense for Bruce to neglect one of his children.

Think about it, in canon, most of the mistakes he made that ended up harming his family were either because he was completely buried in work, or because he was slightly manipulated, both by the narrative and by third parties.

In addition, he also cannot fully communicate with others, both because of his early trauma, the loss of his parents, and all the loneliness caused by the grief he went through growing up. Not to mention the years of self-discipline and training he went through to become Batman. From everything he's seen and experienced, and all the scars he has, I can't imagine how much that grief and and especially a sense of justice, survived.

so I don't think he would simply neglect one of his children

What I propose is; accidental negligence. Think about it, if he is busy all the time with both Batman and his other persona, Brucie Wayne, and then the justice league, investigations, meetings of Wayne Enterprise, galas, charities, other rich people, the usual rogues gallery of Gotham, etc, etc, I don't think he has much time to spend with anyone.

He is able to spend more time with his other children because they are all vigilantes, like him, and are usually just as busy as he is. Having a civilian child in the middle of this mess wouldn't do much good, especially if that child doesn't know what they do most of the time, like, y'know, vigilantlism.

Imagine everyone's absolute horror when they realize, after the p&f reader is unfortunately busted, that they paid so little attention to that child that she managed to do all these crazy things right under their noses for the whole summer. And who's to say she hadn't been doing this before this summer? How many things have they inevitably missed in her life?

What I mean is that to counter the p&f reader's luck, everyone in the batfam is unlucky enough not to be able to spend time with her. And they are aware of it.

Their guilt would be immense and the angst would be delicious.

(And it would explain how Damian hás time to spend with p&f reader, since he's a kid and his only obligations are school, socialization and being Robin, so he would technically have more time??? If that even makes sense???)

context &. context.

YOU!! YOU GET IT!!

I wholeheartedly agree!

Not that "accidental" neglect is any better, it's neglect all the same and has negative consequences in so many levels. But when we're talking about Bruce Emotionally Constipated And Terrible At Communication and Could Sometimes Make Better Choices Regarding His Kids Wayne, it could absolutely happen.

I'm not one to make character analysis because I have very shallow knowledge of Batman lore, but...

Like you said, all of Bruce's children participate in vigilantism. They're all extraordinary, most have horrible trauma, and have relied on Bruce for guidance. They are all Robin, and more relatable to him, in a way. That means he's consequently more involved in their lives, more physically there engaging with them, forming an emotional bond, acting as a mentor and father figure. On top of that, like you said, he has a whole life as Bruce Wayne and Batman going on.

Which brings us to neglected! Reader, more specifically mine: P&F! Reader and Vampire! Reader.

On a... financial, material level, I believe they wouldn't want for anything. Alfred is the one managing their bank account and making sure they're well-provided for and though it's fun for angst purposes, I don't think they would have a tiny little bedroom isolated from everyone in the manor, mostly because it's our favorite butler who would select which bedroom Bruce's child would be staying at in this gigantic mansion with plenty unocuppied rooms. Alfred would NOT put you in the broom closet. It would be a bedroom that's at least as big as Damian's in Son of Batman, for example.

(I more than understand suspension of disbelief and playing around with all sorts of interesting concepts and characters, so I'm not criticizing anyone!)

In fact, I think it's kinda worse that, say, you have a bedroom that's a wall across from Tim's and he still kinda forgets you exist.

Also, I believe Bruce's kid would absolutely have access to a more than generous amount of money. Not broke at all.

So the only type of neglect going on here is of the emotional kind. Your father and your siblings have created tight-knit bonds amongst themselves based on their shared experiences and the proximity brought by them all working as vigilantes, and you're just not a part of the club.

Timing is also relevant.

P&F! Reader arrives at the manor some time after Damian, which means that not only have all relationships been formed over the years, Bruce has also experienced having kids, as well as having a biological child suddenly enter his life. They're a fish out of the water, and their dad is kinda awkward about this (apparently) normal child that showed up at his doorstep. While Damian is still kind of adapting, running around at night trying to bypass Bruce's security system and solve dangerous cases by himself, P&F! Reader is in their bedroom having a virtual sleepover with their Metropolis friends, streaming movies and eating caramelized popcorn.

Fun fact: Damian and P&F! Reader are neighbors. He was not happy about Alfred placing his half-sibling on the room right beside his for the longest time. P&F! Reader has definetly caught him sneaking out, but they're no snitch. And you're right, he does have more free time, and he's also on summer break so no school and no homework to worry about. He's got free time to be his sibling's keeper.

And as we all know, the impression that P&F! Reader is just a normal regular kid that totally doesn't build ridiculous thingamabobs in their spare time, it's kinda easy to forget they're there amidst the Wayne family mayhem(s). Bruce is also kinda doesn't really know what to do with this kid or how to connect with them, but they don't really demand immediate attention and seem to be doing fine – so he probably shouldn't worry too much, right?

You could also argue that he's kinda awkward (emotionally constipated) with this kid and is very bad at consoling and accomodating them after the trauma that made them have to move in with him. He doesn't straight up forget they exist, although he starts paying more attention to them after Damian gets more involved in ther bio sibling's antics. And when it comes to siblings, it's just easier for their relationship to never evolve past more superficial interactions (with the exception of Damian who decides to mind P&F! Reader's business earlier on, more or less). P&F! Reader doesn't know about the vigilantism for a long time, so it's natural that they're excluded from any and all matters regarding that. And because everyone else is so busy with their own lives and P&F! Reader seems to be doing fine, so easy to overlook, has plenty of friends in and out of their new school and the Batfam is already a formed unit... Well, you get the picture.

There's also the matter of Damian. He is the kid that "needs more attention" because of his background. He's been through a lot. Nevermind the possibility that you might also have gone throguh your own fair share of trauma, at the end of the day you're the easier kid. The "okay" kid with regular problems. Which is sad and unfair, but that's what we're here for, isn't it? And Dick is the biggest offender when it comes to that.

Not that P&F! Reader is bothered by any of that! They have an amazing summer ahead of them. 😎 It's definetly Batfam being unlucky that prevents them from spending time with P&F! Reader, but that allowed them to mostly enjoy summer without being smothered by their family. The guilt would be unmatched, that is for sure.

"And who's to say she hadn't been doing this before this summer?"

Hehe :)

Vampire! Reader (she was not mentioned but I'm talking about her anyway, spoilers for the fic because i want to rant) is a different story. Again, timing. She arrived at the manor sometime between Dick leaving for Bludhaven and Jason being brought in, so she didn't really get a chance to develop a deeper emotional connection with Dick. That also means Bruce was a lot younger when he is faced with a biological child being thrown at his door, not to mention the less-than-ideal-circumstances in which she came to be in his custody.

And after trying to make her his newest sidekick didn't work, in the coming years he would dedicate most of his time to fighting crime as Batman and taking care of/mentoring Jason who had a rough past and is now his new sidekick. Connecting and relating to Jason was easier than connecting with Vampire! Reader, but he always made sure to check on her and make sure she was okay (and the answer was always yes, because of course it was).

During this time Jason and Vampire! Reader were actually pretty close, but then he, uh. Kinda died horrifically. So not only was Vampire! Reader dealing with the loss of her brother, her father was now full-on neglecting her, self-absorbed in his grief, so she felt the proper thing to do would be repress her emotions to accomodate her father and try to be his emotional support. Not that it worked, but she was there! So we have the emotional neglect and we have Vampire! Reader starting to take a parental role for her own father because he's not being a parent for her. She was also completely alone in that huge manor with the exception of Alfred because none of the other kids were in the picture yet, and Dick had long since moved out. As you can see, not very nice :)

From then on she just kinda blends into the background. Financially she's provided for. She is her father's daughter, so communication and expressing emotion are not her forté, but she tries her best to connect with the incoming batkids. It does not work. I have said this before, but she is the mature child, the (again) normal one who puts other people's needs before her, so she doesn't complain when Bruce makes time for literally every other kid who becomes Robin except her. But don't be mistaken: Bruce is definetly more controlling and aware of Vampire! Reader in comparison to P&F! Reader due to reasons (guess you can say early yandere signs?). Jason too is... Sort of complicated. The situation here is definetly darker and resonates with tone of the story better. And when Bruce realizes how terrible he was? Oh, boy.

So I guess you can play around a lot with the neglectful! Reader trope, and that's what makes it so entertaining. Yeah. That's all I have to say for today, I guess??

[erinwantstowrite]

What do you think about Jason and Tim relationship? I know that fans are split between hatred for each other or the best brothers. But what do you think?

i fully believe that the writers dropped the ball on what to do with them.

i disagree with what they did with Jason coming back- they didn't have any direction for his character besides that they wanted a huge dramatic twist and Jason has stagnated because of it. him coming back as pretty much nothing like himself but then having zero good writing to convince me of his tragedy?? it's why a lot of people just ignore canon. if they were gonna bring him back, they should have gone in another direction.

if i HAD to keep jason as an anti hero, i would have written him to have a compulsion to protect Robin. a deep rooted fear where he projects his own time, experience, and feelings as Robin onto Tim (and even Stephanie!!) because of the damage that was done to him mentally. jason had long lasting brain damage. he was in a coma for months after he was suddenly revived, he was catatonic when Talia was taking care of him. the Lazarus pit might have healed that, but there would still be residual affects. Jason would feel younger than he is, he'd feel like a stranger in his own body. add on to that with severe cpstd, and you have a recipe for a kid (he was what, 18? 19? physically? when he got to Gotham?) who has a warped perception of his life and relationships. he would have memories that were forgotten to him, not just in his recovery stage but in the time before he died. he would have the feelings of a kid who wanted his dad to save him, who was angry at his mom for hurting him, who now has to struggle with why he ever came back at all. i'm sure he would be angry at everyone. he'd be confused and hurt and he wouldn't have a means to understanding his own feelings. but at his heart, jason was always a good kid, and he protected people, especially people who couldn't protect themselves

it makes no sense that jason came back wanting to hurt robin

so yeah, i'd have written him to be angry and volatile like a teen lashing out at a safe parent to be angry with, but when Tim or Steph were there, he'd dial it back immediately. at first it would be about not wanting to scare them, wanting to keep them safe as a way to help the kid that did die in that costume, somehow and someway. but eventually it would be about Jason seeing them, seeing how capable they are, and feeling protective over them, not just Robin.

but that isn't what happened, because the writers couldn't care less about how trauma actually effects people. they had him attack tim and become basically a sociopath and it felt like a cheap "gotcha!" twist that no one asked for

that being said, their canon relationship isn't terrible. in the beginning they didn't get along at all, obviously. but now, they have a respect for each other. they act like siblings. Tim has said multiple times that he doesn't hate Jason nor holds a grudge. Jason said that he should, but Tim didn't care. sometimes when I read them, I think about how well they might have gotten along if Jason never died. because let's be real, Tim was always headed for the Batfam with or without Jason's death. that's why fics where he's adopted earlier and Jason doesn't die are pretty popular. though in my opinion, they often overshadow that Dick and Tim are also brothers

i think they have a complicated history and relationship but they are siblings. they aren't texting each other everything (Dick and Tim, i fear) or having emotional conversations more than once every seven months but they'll play video games with each other, drop by unannounced to the other's house to eat their food and complain about something, and they work together well. they have a lot in common and they're both previously only children who became second children and eventually middle children. they both experienced neglect though it was very different versions.

in one universe where Tim had died, Jason mourned him. i think that says a lot about how they care about each other

if only the writers would let it STAY that way and not have Jason regress over and over just because they're terrified of character development

[daportalpractitioner]

the triple goddess in astrology

the triple goddess is represented by 3 archetypes in 1 to describe the multi-layered experience of the divine feminine. they are the maiden, the mother, and the crone.

the maiden: venus

the maiden is the archetype of the young woman who is grounded in her identity, her sexuality, her gifts, her desires, and her standards. she's confident in herself and what she wants, allowing her to cultivate meaningful connections that elevate her on this soul journey. she recognizes that this is her world and you are just living in it. the sign of your venus tells you how you are meant to embody this maiden innerG.

☾⋆｡ for example, a virgo venus is meant to embody her maiden energy through being of service to herself and others with integrity. this means that she doesn't let people take advantage of her and she doesn't do shit for people with manipulative intentions. she only allows what serves her highest good into her life, from what she eats to the environments that she takes space in, because when she focuses and allows only what serves her, she is also of service to The Most High.

the mother: moon

the mother is the archetype of the woman who gives birth to her creations + nurtures them so that they can grow to sustain life on their own. this is deeper than just having kids —this applies to all creations which once started off as a desire. she is an effective nurturer because she recognizes the importance of taking care of herself first. she uses her heart space to heal her wounds through compassion + forgiveness and in turn cultivates a loving community through the love that she fosters. her first home is herself and her life is a desired reflection of everything she already holds within her. the sign of your moon tells you how you are meant to embody your inner mother innerG.

☾⋆｡ for example, a capricorn moon is meant to embody their mother innerG by reconciling the energy connected to family trauma (especially their parental relationships) and not letting their childhood traumas + resentment bleed into the way that they care for themselves and others. she doesn't add unnecessary pressure to herself and shows grace to self + others. she leads by not being too hard on herself and those that look up to her and depend on her. she trusts herself to lean into her femininity + allows others to support her instead of always being the one that others are always relying on.

the crone: saturn

the crone archetype is the wise, older woman who is a pillar in the community, being able to provide support and insight for others due to the hardships + lessons that she experienced. people look up to her as an authority figure because she has the wisdom to guide others in the right direction. she isn't distracted by what's going on in the world + uses her time wisely because she's aware that she won't be here forever. she doesn't entertain bullshit and while others may call her mean, she stands firm on her boundaries. this is that grandmotherly innerG that is very supportive + protective of our highest good by holding us accountable. the sign of your saturn is meant to show you how to embody your inner crone.

☾⋆｡ for example, a cancer saturn is meant to embody their crone by holding herself emotionally accountable to cultivate healthy connections with others. she is aware of the "generational curses" that she has karmically acquired though the bloodline and doesn't play the blame game, recognizing that it is her duty to break those curses so that those same karmic patterns aren't played out in her connections and the family that she has/will create for herself one day. she is aware of the complexity of humans + their emotions and is able to teach + heal others through her own experiences with family + other loved ones that are or were once near and dear to the heart.

[severussnapemylove]

Sometimes I wonder if JKR even realises she wrote Snape as a victim of sexual assault. Because he unambiguously is, and she writes him as traumatised by the incident. So it seems mad to suggest that she might not have thought through the implications of her own writing, but if she did get it, I am baffled by how sympathetic she remains to James. Harry is never really made to confront how vile his actions were, because he looks for comfort from Remus and Sirius rather than telling Hermione who would react in horror and disgust, and he gets to skip over it completely in The Prince’s Tale. JKR clearly considers James a hero, and has confirmed that in interviews. She’s even more sympathetic to Lily, who is portrayed as an absolute paragon of goodness, morality and virtue, despite her being attracted enough to James *after* he publicly commits sexual assault on a less privileged kid to marry him! What a malfunctioning moral compass. JKR also has no sympathy at all for Tom Riddle Sr, who is a victim of rape, and his rapist Merope Gaunt, who is herself strongly implied to be a victim of incestual abuse, is condemned by Dumbledore and the narrative not for what she did to Tom but for not being as courageous as nice, pretty, middle class Lily Evans because Merope committed the crime of…dying in childbirth. The only conclusions I can draw from this is that JKR is the sort of ´feminist’ who doesn’t believe men can be the victims of sexual crimes, and that deep down she thinks being a member of the underclass who can’t drag themselves out of it alone is indicative of moral failure.

This! All of this!

I don't think she puts it together at all. She's incredibly tone deaf about a lot of the abuse she puts these characters through. And with the blasé attitude she has about male victims of SA in the books definitely goes along her brand of toxic radical "feminism". It looks like she just doesn't recognise the severity of what happens to these characters. On top of Severus's attack and Tom Riddle Sr, remember that Ron was roofied with love spell that was intended for Harry, and Moaning Myrtle is incredible predatory towards the boys. Sadly, this attitude carries over from the author to a chunk of the fandom too. I've seen so much dismissiveness of the assaults against the male characters, especially Severus. And it's even more disappointing when I see people who have experienced abuse saying that what Severus endured "didn't count" as abuse. Had someone today on another platform having an absolute meltdown at me, saying that what happened in SWM wasn't sa, and that he wasn't traumatised from his abuse and if his anger was caused by trauma then why wasn't Harry the same. Seriously, you can't tell another person that what they experienced wasn't "bad enough to be abuse", that's a very warped mentality. Survivors are supposed to support each other, not belittle each other's trauma. Also, what book did they read that they think Harry doesn't have issues from the life he endured? He has different issues than Severus, yes, because he had different life experiences and everyone's reactions to trauma are different.

"Merope Riddle chose death in spite of a son who needed her, but do not judge her too harshly, Harry. She was greatly weakened by long suffering and she never had your mother's courage."

WTF is this!!!??? This is just plain victim blaming. "Your mothers' courage"? Lily had supportive, loving parents, was loved by her peers, admired by her teachers, had a very comfortable, secure life. Merope was physically and mentally abused for her whole life. They really criticized the poverty stricken, abuse victim for not being as "strong" as the Mary Sue of the Wizarding World??? Toxic as hell. Personally, as someone who has dealt with self-harm, mental illness and generational trauma in my family, this attitude of "they weren't strong enough" is nauseating and infuriating.

There really is a disturbing trend of extreme poverty equalling a dead-end life with no hope. Which is again an extremally toxic and judgmental attitude and a very dangerous message to put in a book aimed to children. The attitude towards abuse, poverty and indecent assault of men is beyond problematic, not only in the books but in far too many members of the fandom.

I could rant more but this will go on for pages.

[raguiras]

What's this?! Spade of Storms is canon in the game now?! /j

Finally finished this Spade of Storms WIP from early June 😅 Click for better quality!

Reblogs are very appreciated ~

「 Bonus versions & ship ramble below the cut! 」

♤ More Deuce x Allen: ♤

SHIP INTRO: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4

OTHER ART: 1

Ship blog: @spade-of-storms

♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤

♤ Ship ramble ♤

There are many reasons why Allen and Deuce are perfect for each other (list), but a fair share of said reasons are rooted in or can be traced back to one massive, highly important core point: these two have extremely similar experiences in a reversed order.

Said experiences shaped their personalities, goals, insecurities and "masks" — all of which are highly important factors for Deuce and Allen's relationship development.

So today, I'll be talking about how their backstories influence Allen and Deuce's relationship.

Something I noticed is that if Spade of Storms weren't dating, they'd pretty much end up experiencing at least parts of each other's backstory... and end up in a super miserable state.

Allen is a former honor student who overworked himself to the point of burning out, all because he was a people pleaser and his stellar grades still weren't enough for his teachers who expected nothing but the absolute best from him. Additionally, he had to suppress his true self and interests because he was expected to be a model student in every single way, and anger was something only "bad" kids felt.

Sounds familiar? Deuce is unknowingly on the path to end up in the same situation, except in his case, the fact that he can't seem to achieve better grades no matter what causes him even more distress. If he actually ended up becoming a honor student, Deuce would experience a ton of additional pressure, not to mention that he's already struggling to hide the delinquent tendencies that are a fundamental part of his true personality... Sure, "honor student" sounds like a nice and admirable title to have — but the reality behind it is cruel, and Deuce isn't aware of that yet.

Which is why I gave him Allen.

A large part of Allen's trauma is rooted in his past as a honor student and the crushing expectations people (including himself) threw at him, and he desperately wants Deuce to watch out for himself and approach his goal of becoming a honor student carefully and logically rather than bite off more than he can chew and end up drowning in even more pressure, self-suppression and insecurities. Allen doesn't want Deuce to experience all the negative sides of being a honor student and instead supports the Heartslabyul student's goals by working towards them with a pace appropriate for Deuce, helping him study through actually unique methods specifically tailored for Deuce, and — most importantly — giving Deuce a safe and healthy environment where he can be his 100% authentic self and learn how to properly get his impulsiveness under control at the same time.

And the other way around? How does Deuce's past help Allen?

Deuce quit being a delinquent because it not only disappointed his mom, but also caused him a lot of trouble and massively stained his reputation. While Allen can handle his own delinquent tendencies just fine on the outside, his anger is actually much worse than Deuce's, not to mention that he has incredibly violent fantasies about the people he can't stand...

So far, Allen hasn't done anything bad. But Deuce, despite being a delinquent at heart himself, is able to calmly remind Allen to not do anything he might end up regretting or that might stain his reputation, especially since this is a major fear of Allen's. Deuce's worries and loving way manage to keep Allen in check, no matter how strong the Ramshackle student's hatred for society grows.

♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎

Now, HOW exactly are they able to help each other grow? WHY did they form intimate levels of trust to begin with? And especially, why can Allen actually efficiently help Deuce in the first place when nobody else can?

All will be revealed in the next issue Spade of Storms explanation post >:)

[hypewinter]

Early Accident AU

So Danny becomes Phantom at like age 8 or something right. And everything goes just about similar to canon, including TUE. The only difference is that instead of the meeting being called because Danny cheated on a career aptitude test, it's now because his teacher is just worried about him and is staging a sorta intervention thing.

So anyway, Danny cannot stop the Nasty Burger explosion and ends up going to live with Vlad. Which isn't going well. He's constantly crying and feeling guilty for not stopping the incident. There's also the constant fear that he'll become Dan. Vlad is doing nothing to address any of this. Instead he's showing off his godson to anyone and everyone and bragging about how smart he is. In fact, that's exactly what he does when he gets invited to a Wayne Gala.

The bats take one look at this kid, who's eyes are still red from crying, being dragged around by his guardian and alarm bells immediately start ringing. Especially for Tim who experienced what it was like being dragged around to special events even when he was incredibly ill.

The bats get even more concerned when Vlad pulls his charge into a corner to scold him for looking miserable instead of comforting him. He's telling the kid stuff like only babies are allowed to get away with crying and that if he continues making the man look bad, he'll be punished when they get home.

Danny does his best to suck it up. He tries to push down all the swirling emotions surrounding his powers, the death of all his loved ones, and even the unprocessed trauma of his own death. He ends up going to the bathroom to try to splash some water in his face and calm down.

As he's making his way back to Vlad, he is intercepted by Tim. When this kind stranger sincerely asks him if he's ok, he breaks down. This is the first person to genuinely ask him how he's doing since he's family's death outside of people doing it for the sake of pleasantries.

Now the boy is absolutely ugly crying in front of this whole party of people and Vlad is not pleased to say the least. He tries to snatch Danny up and whisk him away but the bats intervene. Bruce says something about knowing how to console children as Dick ushers Danny into a separate room where Alfred is already waiting with some hot chocolate.

After a while Danny starts to calm down and he goes to wipe his eyes. As he's doing this, his sleeve slips down a little, revealing an arm covered in bandaids. To explain, it hasn't been that long since Danny came to live with Vlad. Couple that with his healing factor being slower due to his emotional state and he has a couple of small wounds still remaining from his fights that have yet to heal.

Of course the bats don't know where those wounds are from. All they know is that there's no way in hell Danny is leaving this manor with Vlad.

[theninerealmsbakery]

Headcanons for the Lin Kuei Bros as kids

When Kuai Liang was born, Bi-han took one look at his newborn brother and asked his parents why the baby was so ugly (Bi-han's brutal honesty came in at a young age)

When Kuai Liang was little, he wanted to do everything like Bi-han did - he wanted to eat the same things, wear the same clothes, and couldn't wait to get his ice powers so he could be exactly like his brother

Bi-han started to manifest his ice powers at a very young age. When Bi-han was just a toddler, he accidentally froze the door of his nursery shut

Kuai Liang's powers took longer to come in, when he was 5 or so. He set soe curtains on fire. When he found out he had fire powers instead of ice like Bi-han, he cried for hours, because he wanted to be just like his brother

Bi-han and Kuai Liang were 12 and 10 respectively when Tomas was kidnapped adopted and became their brother

Kuai Liang was delighted, because now he was the older brother instead of the baby of the family

The first year or two in the Lin Kuei were especially hard for Tomas, as he had witness the deaths of his family, being kidnapped by the people who killed his family and then being raised in a totally different environment, in a completely different language. Due to this, his trauma was never fully addressed (not that the Lin Kuei would know how to address trauma anyway)

Tomas 100% was a leash child. He was always running everywhere, always finding places to hide in. Bi-han remembers when they were kids, having to rescue Tomas from the roof, because he would constantly climb up there but didn't know how to get back down

They are the kind of brothers that, when they had any kind of disagreement, will literally beat the shit out of each other, then act like the disagreement never happened in the first place

When Bi-han reached his mid-teens, he was given separate training from Kaui Liang and Tomas, because he was the heir to the Grandmaster title. His training was especially cruel and grueling and he experienced things that no teenager should have at his age. This difference in experiences put some distance between him and his brothers and created a lot of resentment towards his father who forced him to endure so much. Though to protect his brothers, he will never tell them what their father put him through.

[andvys]

If you’re taking requests (and if you’re not totally ignore me) maybe a hurt comfort with Eddie? Like maybe the readers been sinking further into their head because they deal with anxiety and repetitive thoughts and no one in the party seems to notice except Eddie who is softer and more coddling?

You will be loved E.M.

Warnings: slight angst, anxiety, mentions of depression, mentions of Eddie almost dying, mentions of Steve's trauma, fluff

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word count: 2k

stranger things masterlist

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You never had it easy in life, anxiety has always been a big part of you, ever since you were a kid, you struggled with your own thoughts, with fears that you couldn’t control and with things that you probably overthought. Whenever you tried to open up and talk about it, you got dismissed or worse, pushed away, especially by people you considered friends. 

As you got older, you learned to keep things to yourself, to not talk about them, knowing that you will just be ignored, misunderstood or pushed away again. 

Some days it’s easy to dismiss your thoughts, to distract yourself and to think about other things. You always wear a smile on your face and show everyone how happy you are, even when you’re not. 

You have amazing friends now, ones that you went through hell and back with. You know that they would never push you away or ignore you and your struggles, yet your fears always keep you from opening up to someone. 

It’s easier to keep quiet. 

You know that Steve is struggling with everything that happened. He acts like he is fine when he really isn’t. He has no one to come home to, no one to comfort him, no one to make him feel safe. He experienced trauma, too much of it. He keeps his feelings to himself, pretending to be okay, he is lying to everyone and to himself. Just like you do. 

Maybe it’s bad to look up to him when you know how much he is suffering in silence but you take him as an example. 

Keep quiet and pretend that you’re okay for the sake of others and for yourself..

Though when things get truly bad and your thoughts and your fears take hold of you, you can’t continue to act like you’re okay, you can’t continue to smile and waltz around happily, showing everyone how ‘good’ you’re feeling. 

You force that smile on yourself, you force that laugh or that giggle, you force yourself to show up, you force yourself to show them that you are still okay. And you are relieved to see that no one notices how much you are struggling. 

At least that’s what you think. 

Eddie notices. He always notices everything about you. 

He knows when you are happy and he knows when you’re not. 

He knows when a smile is genuine and when it isn’t. 

And right now, he knows that you are pretending. 

The Wheeler’s are on vacation– well, Ted, Karen and Holly are. Nancy stayed at home and after much convincing they allowed Mike to stay behind as well. Tonight, the whole party is here for movie night. 

Eddie, who had been excited for this night all week, wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug the moment you walked through the door, he kissed your cheek and squeezed your sides, making you giggle. 

That was a genuine giggle and so was the one when he surprised you with your favorite snacks that he got when he stopped by Big Buy’s just to get you the things you love. 

Eddie might not be able to afford much but he spoils you with little things whenever he can, you are friends but he treats you like you’re his girl. He takes care of you, he makes sure you eat and drink enough, he reminds you to bring your jacket whenever you go out together but in case you don’t, he always brings one of his hoodies– just for you. He gets you little presents every now and then, whether it’s a cute stuffie that reminds him of you or a pretty necklace, anything he sees that he thinks you might like, he will get it for you. 

He loves spoiling you, he loves paying attention to you. 

Eddie always keeps a close eye on you and he always makes sure that you know that you can come to him, for anything. Whether it’s just to talk or to spend time together, Eddie is always here for you, anytime. 

Tonight, he keeps an even closer eye on you. When he stopped by your workplace to bring you your favorite coffee and pastry, he had noticed that your eyes were glassy, a little red rimmed and filled with sadness– you were crying. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into a hug and ask you if you are okay but he didn’t want to push you. 

Dustin, who claimed the spot next to you continuously tried to make you laugh during the movie, you did laugh and while the teen was proud of his jokes and of making you laugh, Eddie knew that you were forcing it. You didn’t even pay attention to the movie, your eyes looked distant, your mind was elsewhere. 

Max asked if you were bored to which you shook your head and gave her a small smile, she offered you the snacks that Eddie got you but you declined. 

Finally, you excused yourself during the second movie, no one really paid attention, everyone was too focused on the fight scene that erupted on the screen– you waited for this moment, waiting for everyone to be distracted so you could make an escape without getting unwanted attention. 

Eddie’s eyes follow you, watching you walk out of the house and into the garden, you close the patio door behind you. He gives you a moment to yourself before he decides to follow you out. 

He finds you sitting on the swing chair, looking up at the starry sky, your toes are touching the grass, your hair is flowing from the wind, even from a distance, Eddie can see that you are freezing, it’s a chilly summer night. Instantly, he takes his sweater off and walks towards you. 

“You never bring a jacket do you?” 

You flinch a little, lowering your head and turning towards him, your sad eyes lock with his but a smile tugs at your lips, “you know me.” 

He chuckles, walking closer to you, he offers you his black sweater. You shake your head, “I don’t want you to get cold–”

“Sweetheart, I’m not the one wearing a sundress,” he says, raising his brows as he looks down at your cute dress, “it’s cute and you look very pretty but you must be freezing in that tiny thing.”

You blush at his words, breaking eye contact, you look down at his sweater and grab it, gladly putting it on. Warmth and Eddie’s scent embrace you, it makes your heart flutter and long for him even more. 

He smiles to himself, his heart is soaring whenever he sees you in his clothes. 

Sitting down next to you, he turns to you, “is the movie too boring for you?” He asks as he stares at your side profile, your skin is glowing beneath the moonlight, the urge to brush your hair back and kiss your cheek is so strong, “cause it’s definitely too boring for me,” he jokes, making you laugh. 

“Are action movies not your thing?” 

“Some of them are but I’m more into horror,” he shrugs, giving you a cheeky smile. 

“Me too,” you smile. 

“We should have a movie night by ourselves, just binge on horror movies, eat pizza and pretzels–” 

“Of course we can never forget about the pretzels!” You laugh. 

His eyes light up at your genuine laugh, “you know it, they’re my favorites.” 

“You’re obsessed,” you chuckle. Still staring into his eyes that look even more beautiful than the stars in the night sky, “I’d love to have a horror movie night with you,” you smile. 

His heart skips a beat as excitement rushes through him. It’s not that you have never hung out alone before, there were a few times but mostly, you always hang out in groups and Eddie has been waiting for a chance to be with you alone, so he can shower you with more love. 

“Yeah?” 

You nod, “yeah,” you whisper. 

“Cool,” he says with a big smile on his face, one that makes you feel at ease. 

Eddie scoots a little closer to you, he looks into your eyes. He can see the glint of happiness, the one that has been missing before. He reaches for your hand and as he turns it around, you instantly intertwine your fingers with his making his heart swell.

Even before he joined your friend group and became a big part of your life, he crushed on you hard. You were always the girl he had his eyes on, you were always the one he was excited to see whenever he walked into the hell hole that people call school. He is pretty sure that he failed too many tests because he was too busy staring at you. 

“How are you, sweetheart?” He asks as he squeezes your hand. 

The question isn’t half hearted, it isn’t forced or just a conversation starter, it’s a genuine question because he wants to know what you really feel like, he wants to know because he cares. He always cared. Eddie was always here, he was always the one who take care of you, the one who always noticed when you weren’t feeling well, the one who always did everything to show you how loved you are and as you think about all the moments, he was there to make you feel good, you suddenly feel tears welling up in your eyes. 

His eyes widen a little when he sees the tears, when he notices the quivering lip, when he feels your tight grip on his hand. You don’t have to say it, he knows you are not doing well and as you start crying, he doesn’t even hesitate to pull you into his arms. 

“Oh y/n,” he whispers as he picks you up and pulls you on his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around your form. You bury your face in his neck and put your arms around him, crying softly as he holds you. 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” he whispers, rubbing your back softly, “you’re not alone, I’m here.” 

Your quiet sniffles break his heart just the way your sobs did that night when he almost died as he laid in your arms. You were there, you gave him the strength that he needed, you saved him, you took care of him, you never left his side and now he will do the same for you. 

He kisses your shoulder and plays with your hair, whispering some reassuring words into your ear, trying to ease your pain, trying to comfort you as best as he can and when you calm down, you pull away to look into his eyes. 

Eddie cups your cheeks, wiping away your fallen tears, he pulls you closer, “you don’t have to hide your feelings, baby,” he whispers as he presses a soft kiss to your damp cheek, “I’m always here, no matter what,” he kisses your other cheek, “I don’t want you to keep things to yourself,” he kisses your forehead, “you were there for me, so let me be here for you now,” he says as he kisses your nose, making you smile a little, “you’re my girl, let me take of you.” 

Your glassy eyes meet his, you notice the blush on his cheeks, the hopeful look in his eyes. 

“I’m your girl?” 

He blinks, smiling nervously, “i-if you want to be,” he whispers shyly as his heart begins to race, just like yours does. 

“I would love to be your girl, Eddie Munson.” 

His smile grows bigger, happiness rushes through him, his eyes light up and he looks giddier than ever. He grabs your cheeks harder and pulls you closer, “my girl,” he whispers before he slams his lips against yours, pulling you into a sweet and passionate kiss, one that fills you with warmth, hope and love. 

Eddie holds you tighter than before, he pours all the love he has for you into the kiss, you can feel his happiness and that alone shows you will be okay eventually. 

You have him by your side, that means that you will always be loved. 

[itsabouttimex2]

(I think I’m gonna drop this and see how it does cause I’ve been thinking on it for a while, and since I’m not exactly satisfied with my wording I’ll probably delete it, but for a day or two I’m gonna let it settle cause my feelings are split on this perspective and I don’t know if I’m blowing these things out of proportion…)

In general I just don’t really think MK is as good of a hero as the series wants him to be, not in that he’s a “bad person” so much as in that the show is so desperate to gas him up as a “true hero” that it actually warps from reasonable praise that fits in line with his actions to a level of shilling that his actual behavior doesn’t match up with at all.

(In short, if you don’t want to read the whole thing: MK is genuinely a good person, and he’s a functional hero, but when the series outright deprecates Wukong to hype MK up and has his villains remark on what a good hero he is, it really feels shallow on account of MK’s actions rarely going above “we fight people who threaten us”)

And for as much as Lego Monkie Kid does hype up MK (and sometimes his friends but especially MK) as “true heroes”, it’s never really willing to engage with him as being a hero outside of a very shallow “we fight whatever guys are trying to kill us”, -which leads to a very strange situation where his “heroism” usually goes only as far as batting a monster out of the city without any insurance to prevent it from coming back and doing more harm later on, or hell, maybe even just ditching Megapolis and going to attack some other city without a hero to protect.

(It’s especially wild given that MK was ENTIRELY willing to smash (and thereby implicitly reseal) DBK beneath a mountain in his first fight against demon and then entirely gives up on ever being proactive with the preventation of harm ever again because what the fuck kid you were literally on track the very first fight you ever had in your life?? Why’d you go and lose the plot when it made you look so much better???)

MK isn’t the person whose home is getting laser-nuked to ashes by Demon Bull King (there were miles of those in his first attack), and he’s not someone whose been stolen by the Spider Queen to serve as a slave (like Syntax), and he doesn’t get a calamitous fire fused with him after Macaque forces a world-threatening ritual to be performed under threat of his death (Mei), so HE can throw “second chances” out like candy, but that’s only because the narrative is never willing to engage with victims of these villains outside of their impacts on either him or the landscape, the second of which is almost always instantly glossed over or outright played for laughs, even for FLOWER FRUIT MOUNTAIN itself, and if it does have an impact on someone else then it’s only to have them be upset for a few seconds/a minute or two before outright pretending they never had experienced negative interactions begin with.

And giving out “redemptions” to the villains without actually really engaging with their victims (even within the main cast!) really feels less like a hero magnanimously giving someone a second chance and more like watching the hero keep doing what he’s been doing from almost the very start- letting dangerous jerks off the hook, even though they keep coming back to hurt people, but this time, after their fourth mass assault charge, they wander off into the sunset and this time instead of leading another assault they decide to become good people.

(With introspection and actual growth occurring offscreen, of course, because it’s not like the actual ARC of redemption arcs is the fun part/s. On, and all those victims they built up, all the damage they caused, the fear they inspired and the trauma they very likely left innocent souls with?? Never addressed, of course! Only MK’s traumas are important to the story, and they’re so important that most of his key character development involves getting punched with more and more of that angst without ever stopping to address that other characters have been suffering right alongside him, at least never for more than a few seconds/a single minute to explore a brief moment of insecurity or anger before that “flaw” gets packed up to be repurposed, ex: Mei is insecure about her heritage? Solved in an episode! But now she’s at Ao Guang’s place and she’s insecure about her heritage again! Oh, wait- solved in one episode- again!)

It’s especially jarring that the story sets up Azure Lion as a false hero for, essentially, being too proactive in his desire to fight evil and protect the mortal realm that he adores, where MK and his crew are “true heroes” for… waiting for threats to personally inconvenience them before dealing with those threats.

The leonine demon wants to go to the root of what he sees as a tree long rotten and rip it out to supplant it with what he believes is a better core (whether himself or Sun Wukong), while MK and his friends are content to ignore threats and let them fester as long as they aren’t currently fighting or being endangered by said threats. There’s never an actual clash between these perspectives and actions- it’s just “Azure is bad now and can’t control himself, so it’s ethical to beat him around,” which especially is absolutely fucking bonkers when it’s revealed Azure, despite being a soldier of the Jade Emperor, didn’t even know about the whole “this guy is holding the world together with his own power” thing and probably wouldn’t have iced the guy if he had known what would happen.

And on the topic of heroes, I’m also going to come in and say that Azure’s “delusional hero” characterization would be FAR more poignant and fitting if he had learned all that business and still went through with his plan with a “fuck it, I can ball” attitude based on his absolute assurance of his abilities and status as a hero… only to utterly spiral out of control anyways, instead of being hazily warned about dubious consequences by the Jade Emperor and Nezha instead of just being outright told that the world is almost guaranteed to end if he goes forward with this.

Along with Azure’s general character, the ecocide scene centered around knocking himself off of the “hero” pedestal he’s on is really just there to reassure MK (and the audience) about the kid’s status as a hero. It’s a nasty, unforeshadowed cop-out so the series can say “MK, don’t feel bad about fighting him! He’s actually not that good of a guy at all! Don’t feel bad about fighting Azure cause he’s done bad stuff and isn’t really a good guy! MK you’re a perfectly justified moral little boy! Azure doesn’t hold a candle to you!” and dashes his supposed ideals as a shallow veneer instead of having the characters engage with them to support the in-universe viewpoint that MK and his friends are just the very most bestest heroes ever.

(Not to mention that this reveal is literally delivered to the audience by Macaque, who just ass-pulls the knowledge of where to take MK and what to tell him about the big guy to change the kid’s mind in spite of never previously sharing so much as a single word or interaction with Azure to connect the two. Every day I believe a little more in my Macaque Replacement Theory)

So basically, the writers ended up tanking that complexity to give MK an easy moral victory when it could’ve been so cool to do something other than that, like MK acknowledging that hey, Azure is trying to prevent tragedy from occurring in the first place and was outright willing to take part in a siege on the heavens to ostensibly use the Jade Emperor’s powers for good where MK happily sits around until the threatening forces present in the world come to him and his home, and how neither of those paths is inherently “correct”, but any potential complexity is torpedoed with “Actually he’s delusional and needs to go down. Also his plan was inherently flawed and realm-threatening. And he committed ecocide. Also he’s toxic and projects onto the people around him. And his actions personally kill him to keep MK’s hands mostly clean.”

So essentially the narrative says:

“Azure, you should’ve known better than to play god by interfering with cosmic forces of the universe to do what you thought was best for it. This is objectively bad of you given information that existed outside of your knowledge and was inherently flawed and led to tragedy! Why couldn’t you just let things be?!”

While also saying:

“Anyways Season 5!MK, you can play god! You interfering with the cosmic forces of the universe to do what you think is best for it will be portrayed as heroic, dramatic, and sympathetic while also turning out to be the objectively correct and morally right decision! It’s good that you didn’t just let things be!”

And the “consequences” of the difference here are that: while MK and Azure Lion both have the chance to either stand complacently by in the face of what they consider a fixable injustice in the world, and all it takes is denying the cosmic authority that stands above them, and for denying it Azure dies, while MK successfully breaks an unfair and harsh cycle, gives the world cool superpowers, and gets to live on with his friends in a now eternal world.

And this wouldn’t be such a big deal to me if the story was willing to explore what the writers consider “true” heroism outside of… ??? What do they consider “true” heroism? When the good you’ve performed far outweighs the bad? When you… succeed? Is Azure castigated by the narrative for not succeeding? Clearly not, because he’s portrayed negatively in terms of his actions even before the consequences of killing the Jade Emperor set in. Is he only a bad guy for using deceit and subterfuge to get what he wants, because that also happens before he murders the Jade Emperor. I mean, the heroes aren’t above scheming and fucking around themselves-

Like breaking into the Celestial Realm, running roughshod, stealing, and then leaving without returning anything or explaining to anyone about what’s going on afterwards!

Is he a bad guy for wanting to upset the status quo? At some point it feels less like the narrative considers MK a “true hero” because they have a definition for what actually counts as that and more because he’s the protagonist and, well, they want to hype him up.

Basically and for the TLDR, the narrative is custom-built to morally reward MK for essentially all of his heroic actions, even if they fall sharply in line with what the “bad guys” were doing just a season earlier or are outright as shallow as giving attempted mass murderers a dozen second chances to try and kill more innocent people, also without ever truly addressing or applying in-universe consequences for the run-off of his actions such as bringing the trigram furnace to earth and leaving it there, concealing his meeting with the Lady Bone Demon, releasing the Ink Curse by fucking around with the scroll for more than a few seconds or a quick remand before moving past it.

And, can we stop right here and think about a role swap for a moment?

If Sun Wukong had done ANY of that, we all fucking know that the story would’ve stopped sharp to rip him a new asshole and have at least one person would stop to shriek at him about what an irresponsible person he was, about how bad of a mentor he is, about how stupid it was for him not to clean up loose ends. But MK receives a bare minimum throwaway scolding from one of his friends + Ink Curse for releasing it, which doesn’t impact how they or the fandom view him at all.

This is especially egregious for the fact that Wukong is treated like a knuckle-dragging lobotomite by the story (and fandom) whose feats are far surpassed by MK when the Monkey King actually managed to crush his foes in varying ways (destroying their kingdoms, imprisoning them, killing them, etc) that ushered in an era of peace that allowed for rapid technological advancement… but now they’re back and he’s getting beaten over the head for everything, which unintentionally makes it clear that showing mercy in Monkie Kid is just a really, really stupid thing to do unless you’re the super special central protagonist and the writers want to hype you up as the very goodest little boy in the whole wide world over who has full moral authority to allow his city and friends and world to be threatened again and again and again… as long as he’s being “nice” about it.

[cyb3rtarot]

Pick a Pile: Message From Your Inner Child + How You Can Nurture Them

Disclaimers: choose the pile you feel intuitively drawn to; you can choose more than one! Take what already resonates and leave anything confusing or stressful. Readings are not replacements for professional advice. I used a mix of tarot, oracle, and my intuition.

pile 1->pile 2

pile 3->pile 4

░░░

Pile 1

Message [Justice||nine of hearts rx, king of pentacles, nine of wands rx, three of pentacles rx]: hi pile one! Your inner child wants to express feelings of dissatisfaction or being stifled. Many of you are in a good place financially/with work, at least compared to where you used to be. This came from working very hard without much support from others—maybe even being hindered by others. Other people might look at your life and wish they had it, but your inner child does not seem fulfilled by whatever your position is. I don’t sense ungratefulness, but it does seem like your inner child is more interested in something “deeper” or more meaningful than your physical reality is providing. If you’ve had to claw your way out of hard situations, your inner child seems to be looking for some kind of justice or retribution regarding that. You may feel like you deserve more happiness after what you’ve had to go through, or want people who have done you wrong to be punished.

How you can nurture your inner child [the fool, the emperor, king of pentacles rx, three of swords rx]: a more proactive approach to finding meaning and happiness in your life will nurture your inner child. You might be used to going with the flow—especially if you’re materially comfortable or seeking such a lifestyle. Remember that you have the power to initiate new beginnings; you don’t have to stay the same! Give your inner child space to grow and discover what feels right to them, even if it doesn’t make sense to others. Don’t force yourself to remain in an unhappy spot when there are changes within your grasp. Uncertainty is a necessary part of life. There’s also a big emphasis on balancing your work for outer stability with this search for inner happiness; perhaps some of you unnecessarily overwork yourselves which leaves little time for other things. 

For some, this soul searching may involve letting go of past hurts. I’m not trying to force you to forgive others, but to identify how your current reality has formed as a response to pain, and how you can choose to respond differently.

Extra details: isolation, loneliness. Past betrayals and enemies. Being “self made,” supporting oneself. Not being seen and understood, wearing a facade/mask. Music as solace, singing, pop stars (Ariana Grande again lol?). Balance. Being the tough kid, defending yourself. Paying your own way through school. Aggressiveness. Continuous conflict with colleagues or family, unhappiness at work. Wanting to leave a “good” job, or wanting to “run away” (some of you may be daydreaming about “drastic” action, like suddenly quitting and going on a long trip, far away from everyone you know).

░░░

Pile 2

Message [the star rx, seven of wands rx|| nine of swords, the star, four of pentacles rx]: hi pile two! There is a lot of past hurt and trauma in this pile, and your inner child is highly encouraging healing/shadow work. Your inner child is wanting you to lower some of those internal walls so those uncomfortable emotions and memories can be processed. If you feel you need someone like a professional to help you, that is absolutely okay. Healing is hard, trauma is messy, and the “despair” in this pile seems particularly heavy.

How you can nurture your inner child [two of hearts, the tower rx, queen of pentacles rx, the lovers, six of cups rx]: a major focus for your healing journey is examining how past hurts—especially in relationships or childhood—are projected onto present day relationships. You may have developed certain traits or behaviors to survive the past, but now they block you from experiencing the intimacy your inner child craves. This is not to say you should compromise boundaries, but know that intimacy and vulnerability themselves are not the enemy. Thinking or acting like they are can even be a way of self-blaming, as if you not needing love would have prevented others from being toxic or abusers. Examine how past patterns can lead to current self-sabotaging, and also give yourself grace if you feel like you made a mistake. Learning how to navigate relationships of any kind is hard, and trauma can make it harder! Know your inner insecurities are not reflective of the relationship, how others see you, or the truth. If you do wish to work on some aspect of yourself or your healing journey, it’s very much within your capacity.

Extra details: fruit is significant, maybe nostalgic memories of someone cutting or giving you fruit growing up? A house with a tile or distinctive roof, roof decorations. The quiet/shy kid. Feeling like you’re falling apart. Clumsiness. Alone. A lot of yelling and hurtful words (particularly in the past). Childhood or domestic trauma. Catastrophizing. I feel like a lot of you are in a romantic relationship that is triggering anxiety. Practicing healthy communication with your partner may be one part of the healing work mentioned above. I also feel like a lot of you jumped from a very toxic home into a very toxic relationship as you came of age; a current relationship may be difficult due to this pattern that developed.

░░░

Pile 3

Message [ the hermit, the fool rx|| Queen of cups, the chariot, justice rx, ten of pentacles rx, the hanged man rx, the tower]: hi pile 3, your inner child had a lot to say! You might repress them a lot. They want you to know you are living with old mindsets and approaches that are no longer aligned with you. You have a very large inner, emotional world and self awareness, but you don’t let this shine through to the outside. There’s a big nihilistic vibe of just going through the motions and accepting your lot—even when you’re miserable—and even when there’s changes you can make. An imbalance exists between the energy directed towards your mind versus the outside world. There’s a sense of solitude and a “what’s the point?” approach. However, there’s also a sense of restlessness. Your inner child is feeling stifled by this lifestyle; they want to come out and experience enthusiasm! It seems major changes are present or coming in where this can be addressed.

How you can nurture your inner child [the lovers rx, king of swords, knight of wands rx, the emperor rx]: your inner child is encouraging you to embrace excitement for life. It feels like your nihilistic or apathetic approach functions as self-punishment by denying your desires. You’re aware of which things are not working for you anymore, but you’re avoiding tough conversations or decisions. Your inner child wants to break free and to go after what gives them joy; they do not want their emotions to be judged, repressed, or punished. Some of the self awareness you’ve developed in your inner world can be used to help navigate the disappointments and uncertainties of life. You have to wade past these things to reach the treasures in your journey.

Extra details: restlessness, emo (some of you were in middle school), quiet, hurting, simmering anger, Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, taking an analytical approach to emotions, singing, not being allowed to express emotions growing up. You might say “perhaps” a lot. Water, wanting to live in or visit a location close to water.

░░░

Pile 4

Message [seven of wands rx, king of hearts, the hermit, strength rx, queen of swords|| queen of pentacles, queen of cups rx, five of cups rx, death rx]: hello pile four! The focus of your message is healing vulnerability. You guys have had to be strong by yourself for a long time. For those working on spirituality, it feels like that was the focus of this period. This “hardened” time can come to a close and give way to a new era where you’re more able to face feelings and express them authentically. Your inner child is pointing to a past experience (or multiple) you can revisit to do healing work. This may be a very disappointing heartbreak in a past relationship (of any kind). You might have had to end it with someone who was very attached to you and make that first “hurtful” move so you both could move on and heal. Or, you became disillusioned from lack of emotional fulfillment. Most of you have already done a lot of healing/shadow work and reached a more stable place with your inner sense of security. But, there’s difficulty translating this into being vulnerable with others. Due to the amount of emotional work you had to do, you’re leaning into logic and practicality when there needs to be a balance with emotion. Maybe you can easily identify and scrutinize emotions, but you default to this mental approach to avoid actually feeling it or confronting what you’ve repressed—especially if others’ reactions to your emotions have been disappointing. Protecting yourself is necessary and so is analyzing emotion. But sometimes feelings just need to pass through! We can only “think” our way so far into understanding life lessons. Vulnerability with ourselves—and knowing healthy ways to be vulnerable with others—are both healing.

How you can nurture your inner child [the hierophant rx, king of wands, princess of wands, page of cups rx, the devil rx]: you’ve done a lot of  self-discovery and learning lessons on purpose. This has made space for beautiful growth—however, there’s an emphasis on being open to developing with other people, too. You may want to continue working on yourself in isolation, but some growth and self-knowledge can only be discovered through others. You may repress your inner child’s desire for connection—forcing yourself to be independent. This seems comfortable for you, but not necessarily fulfilling. You may not know where to start with allowing others inside your world. This pile is stuck in the middle of not wanting to deal with toxic BS and yearning for something new + authentic. You may really have to push yourself to leave your comfort zone when it comes to others, and remember that your past experiences don’t define every experience you could have. I’m not suggesting to do things that feel wrong to you, but I am suggesting to notice where you squash your curiosity towards others as a defense mechanism. If you remain true to the things you’ve learned during this time, you’ll be much more adept at spotting insincere people and setting boundaries. And, you’ll be equipped for the inevitable challenges that occur when we get closer to others. These aren’t necessarily bad challenges, but for someone who has learned to love being alone, the metaphorical social “dance” can seem daunting. People are lessons, but not everyone is going to be a hard lesson.

Extra details [TW abuse, self harm, suicide mention]: using spirituality as a reason to not feel (example, not letting yourself feel disappointed because “that’s how it was meant to be”), likes to rhyme or make puns a lot, tendency towards being nonchalant/apathetic, trying to “think” emotions away, not knowing how to stop being so independent. Spiritual, wise, eccentric/enigmatic, self-assured. “Nice” relationships but very few “deep” relationships. Wanting to be friendly but getting alarmed when someone want to be friendly back lol. May have been in a relationship with a very imbalanced power dynamic; someone may have had the power to punish you? In & out the hospital as a child or a very big medical incident. Working in medical (specifically getting nursing) or as a coach, trainer. Surgeries & surgical scars (especially emergency surgery to save your life), medical implants & devices, physically disabled. SH scars. Past attempt on one’s life. Unwilling to feel emotion in fear of getting swept away by them. Stoic on the outside, emotional inside. Always trying to “solve” your emotions

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[visenyaism]

sorry man but i just gotta point out some people (like me) have actual, serious trauma from attending private school- mine manifests as severe ptsd and agoraphobia; my time in private education literally left me disabled. I had no choice in the matter, i did not want to attend that school, but i was raised by awful abusive parents who ignored the absolute hell i was experiencing and my multiple suicide attempts. If you’re gonna post derisive things about private school kids needing to be mocked, please at least tag or something so i can block it bc ngl reading first thing i the morning that i deserve to be made fun of for my abuse is extremely triggering. I don’t think it’s wrong to make fun of ALL people who went to private schools; but please, please take those of us who’ve experienced extensive abuse into account. We have been through enough and don’t deserve to be clowned on for being forced to the attend schools we were abused at? Sorry if im taking this personally (like i said, i have ptsd and this just happened to be a trigger i am not upset with you i just feel like you need to know this going forward), i would just really love if the abuse kids (especially queer disabled and otherwise marginalized kids) face at private school was taken seriously. especially because all of your other education takes are so good. Like i said there are private school kids that SHOULD be made fun of (the kids who participated in my abuse and got away with it come to mind for example), but for those of us with struggling with trauma PLEASE do not put us in the same category as our tormenters, thank you! 🫶

It sounds like you went through a whole lot and I’m sorry that happened. I hope you are talking to someone that is not me a random stranger on tumblr about it. However if you read this:

And interpreted that as me making fun of your specific personal situation and not the broader context of like lightly making fun of the wealthy I do not think that is fair. Do not put that on me.

[cryptidotter]

I know it's always "being sad about these kids" time in The Locked Tomb but, uh, I just put all these Harrow quotes together and need to share the sadness with everyone else:

So the Reverends told Harrow about the child genocide when she was THREE? jfc

Tamsyn why do you give us distressing facts like this?

And as I sit here with this, it makes me think of how many times I've seen people be frustrated or confused by Gideon being kind to Harrow in the pool scene after this revelation. Where for me, also a religious cult survivor, I would have expected nothing else.

Because it's not that Gideon thinks this new backstory EXCUSES what Harrow did. That's not the kind of forgiveness happening here. It's the realization that neither of them deserved to have their childhood stolen like that. Neither of them deserved to be so dehumanized, treated as nothing more than tools who should feel guilty for never being good enough.

But before that moment, Gideon clearly hadn't realized how fucked up Harrow's life had been, so she hadn't ever seen them on a similar level of victimhood.

Harrow lived an exaggerated form of the standard religious trauma that kids like me and Gideon experienced while growing up. The whole, "you, yes you, toddler, are sinful and deserving of eternal torment unless God shows you undeserved grace" experience.

I think it's easy for a fellow victim of that to sympathize like Gideon does, knowing so intimately how that kind of trauma fucks up a person. Even when a person turns their trauma into a weapon against others like Harrow did for so many years. It doesn't make the bullying acceptable, obviously, but it does make it worthy of sympathy instead of pure condemnation. Gideon finally realized that Harrow didn't act out of personal sadism, and that meant a lot for Gideon and how she sees Harrow.

Anyway there's just something inherently relatable to me when one victim sees another one, even and especially an imperfect victim, and still chooses to humanize them. Because that act of compassion is a rejection of the system that broke them both.

[vidavalor]

Hello!

Very often I see criticism mounted at Aziraphale that he treats Crowley like a pet or that he lords himself over Crowley by using his angelic status, reminding him constantly that he’s a demon. Obviously Aziraphale has character flaws as much as any other character but I’ve always found those criticisms harsh (harsher then any leveled against Crowley at least) and was wondering your thoughts?

Hi there. 💕 Thanks for the ask & hope that you're having a good start to your week. There are iced tea and sugar cookies today, if you're hungry.

These people certainly don't think much of Crowley if they think he'd be madly in love with someone who treated him poorly?

Crowley and Aziraphale are as tongue-in-cheek about their use of 'angel' and 'demon' as they are about any other Heaven/Hell terms that they use. Aziraphale doesn't actually know why he's still an angel when he's done more to "thwart the will of God" than most of the demons combined. Being an angel isn't something he's especially proud of-- it's more a source of pain and confusion for him. He does not treat Crowley like a pet-- I'm not even going to dignify that lunacy with a formulated response lol-- nor does he "lord his angelic status" over him because Aziraphale doesn't believe he has a superior status to Crowley. He adores Crowley.

Words like 'demon' and 'fiend' have multiple meanings. Not even just in the sense of Crowley and Aziraphale having a hidden language-- just currently in existence in our world. A demon is someone who is also someone who is very skilled in an area. A fiend is someone who is passionate about something or very focused with a real determination towards something. If you honestly look at a scene like the one below and think that you're watching Aziraphale "lord his angelic status" over Crowley, I'm afraid you might be missing the humor:

If anyone wants meta on just how healthy they are, you can wade through the Apology Dance-centric deep dive I posted yesterday which gets into both of them being wonderfully flawed characters. There are some other posts about Aziraphale and his various Heaven traumas in the pinned post on my blog but I'd say that most recent one is probably best suited for what you're talking about.

I suspect a certain amount of silly Aziraphale hate is just young people whose nascent sexualities have been stirred up by Crowley. Clearly, they have good taste where that's concerned. Can't fault them there. 😊 This stuff isn't new-- every fandom has it. There were people who thought Scully was toxic because she didn't believe in Mulder's every wackadoodle theory when, really, it was just the young having a bit of a sexual awakening around Mulder. Not being able to see both characters in a fictional romantic partnership as flawed is usually the byproduct of being young and having a crush on one of them.

When we more fully grown people develop crushes on fictional characters, we're a bit more objective about the fact that they're all disasters, if sexy disasters. 😂 We don't begrudge the fictional characters their fictional romantic partners and are mature enough/experienced enough with life to appreciate the romance. Cut the kids some slack. Crowley's tight jeans have just gone to their heads, is all. We've all been there. One day, they'll appreciate Aziraphale for the fucking brilliant character he is and see how he and Crowley are terrific together.