#especially binging cause i feel like i get bored and need a break

[call-me-oracle]

barbara gordon in batgirl #1

bonus:

[animebw]

So the live action One Piece is really, really good.

I know, far from the first person to say it. But it really must be stressed how absolutely bonkers it is that One Piece, of all anime properties, is what breaks the live-action adaptation curse in the West. So many attempts at adapting far more live-action friendly stories like Death Note and Cowboy Bebop ended up complete disasters, and yet it's perhaps the most unabashedly cartoonish anime franchise, the one defined by how it takes advantage of drawing and animation to portray people, places and things that would be completely unfeasable in the real world, that shows how to translate this medium to live action without losing what makes it special in the first place. It's not a perfect adaptation, but it pretty much nails everything it needs to, capturing the heart of this story in all its most important moments and making smart changes that serve its new form as a binge-worthy Netflix drop. So let's talk about the things I liked, the few areas I think it fell short, and how I think future seasons should play out! Spoilers, obviously.

The Good:

-The most important thing to get right was the casting, and they nailed it: all the Straw Hats and their supporting cast are just about perfect. Inaki Godoy just is Luffy, Emily Rudd does a fantastic job shouldering the season's core emotional weight as Nami, Vincent Regan steals the show every time Garp is on screen, and Jeff Ward is an absolute riot as Buggy. Special shout-out as well to Morgan Davies for nailing Koby's expanded screen time.

-Speaking of, I love how Koby and Helmeppo's title-card story is fleshed out into a proper B-plot throughout this season. Following their journey under Garp's command is a perfect way to introduce us to the Navy's inner workings and the more explicitly political side of the story up front, as well as foreshadowing plenty of future story beats to come.

-The action. Is. So. Good. Thank god we're finally remembering how to film proper hand-to-hand brawls, cause every punch-up is a blast to watch.

-Luffy actually has more of an arc here than he does in the manga! Manga Luffy can be a pretty static character a lot of the time, which I know is kind of his appeal, but this adaptation gives him a bit more to work with as he grapples with the responsibility of being a captain and the consequences his mistakes can have for his crew.

-Seriously Buggy is so fucking funny they nailed him so perfectly

-Putting more of a focus on Nami's struggles throughout the season was a great way to give it more structure for a binge format. Her emotional journey is really the heart of this adaptation as we watch her go from a paraniod recluse to fully embracing the Straw Hats as her new family.

-One benefit to being live action and produced in America? Way, way less casual sexism. Dare I hope that future seasons will avoid ruining Sanji's character among other pitfalls Oda fell into? Fingers crossed!

-The production design is immaculate. It strikes the perfect balance between the wacky cartoonishness of One Piece's world and the demands of filming in live action.

-Fantastic soundtrack too! It knows just where to deploy instrumental renditions of We Are while charting its own musical identity.

The Bad

-Some of the dialogue is a liiiiiiittle cringey? I know dialogue has never been OP's strongest suit, but there are definitely a few moments that feel overly anachronistic and "how do you do fellow kids?" There's a moment Buggy jokes about toxic fandom that really made me roll my eyes (especially since the OP fandom has by and large really embraced this adaptation, so it comes off like a cheap shot at a demographic of haters that doesn't even really exist).

-While the camerawork and editing are pretty great, the color grading is very much... not. Can we please stop shooting everything in boring desaturated yellows and greys and start lighting our night scenes so we can actually see what's going on?

-Shockingly, it's the strongest parts from the manga- the backstories- that I feel suffered the most here. Some of that's due to most of the child actors not being that great, which, well, that's a risk you take with child actors. But it also cuts out a lot of the personal culpability that made a lot of those backstories so compelling? Like how Sanji used to be pretty wasteful with food until his experience stranded on an island taught him how important it was to respect every bite? That aspect of his character is completely missing in his flashback here.

-Hoo boy, they made some... choices with how they depicted Arlong's crew. I know the Fishmen are a big racism/discrimination metaphor, but between the trap music that plays whenever they show up, their overall "urban gangsta" fashion aesthetic and the design of Arlong Park, the fact Arlong himself is played by a black actor... there is some coding going on here, is my point. And considering how much I hated the direction this story arc went in Fishman Island, that does not give me confidence in this adaptation's ability to escape sucking just as much on that front.

Future Season Wish List:

Season 2: The Alabasta saga, starting with the arrival at Roguetown and ending with Vivi's send-off

Season 3: The Water Seven saga, maybe with a brief stop in Skypiea beforehand but not long enough to get bogged down in there like the manga did

Season 4: Possibly controversial, but I think this should take us to the timeskip. Spend an episode or two in Thriller Bark but cut out all the bullshit, one episode in Sabaody for the Shit Gets Real(tm) section, one episode in Amazon Lily, then onto Impel Down and the Marineford showdown, with one episode dedicated to the fallout of that battle and getting us to the timeskip.

Season 5: Big focus here should be Dressrosa IMO. If you must spend some time in Fishman Island then do it, probably don't need that much time in Punk Hazard since barely anything happens there, then get into the thick of Dressrosa.

Season 6: This should be the Wano season. One episode in Zou, maybe a couple in Whole Cake Island to set up Big Mom, (honestly we might not even need the extra Sanji backstory if this adaptation gets rid of his worst traits), then get straight into Wano so you have all the time you need for all those moving parts. Also, Gear 5 Luffy in live-action should just be him turning into his anime self Roger Rabbit style. Tell me that wouldn't rule.

[viktors-still-beating-heart]

Okay I'm way behind on these so I'm going to start doing two each day until I catch up with it :p

Day 6:

All of the time. Especially for the past year, I've basically just been losing and gaining from 42-45kg. I need to break out of my bingeing habits, I finally feel like there's a good amount of hope for it since I've been fairly consistently losing weight recently and I'm going to be living on my own soon.

(cut bc this is a bit obnoxiously long, these are just my chance to vent ab all the stuff I've kept hidden from people irl so I am making full use of them lol)

It's pretty rare these days that I have a kind of "true" binge of like thousands of calories in a short space of time and uncontrollably eating anything I can, although I have experienced that to some extent a few times. I also used to occasionally make myself an entire banana loaf or cookie dough tray or something and eat it all in one sitting. Tasted great but felt awful.

Nowadays it's mostly just that I have broken my hunger cues and tend to get insatiably hungry at night, regardless of whether I have eaten nothing or way too much. It's so stupid and a lot of the time I don't even want anything in particular, I just feel unbearably dissatisfied and it's like all rational thinking about how I will feel in the future is just gone. I know it'll feel bad and I will want to have lost weight the next day but it literally just doesn't matter in that moment, and I won't feel that bad right? I can just fix it tomorrow! It is ridiculous and I am wrong every time. I end up snacking on cereal, biscuits, crisps, and then I feel bloated and regretful and I can't even accurately weigh myself the next day because of the heaps of food weight.

So far as I know, although I struggled to control myself with snacks, I never truly binged until I had developed a restrictive ED. After the "honeymoon period" of being able to effortlessly restrict and fast, I started to get less control and stronger cravings for food. I learnt about BMR and TDEE and tracked my calorie intake, which just turned into making excuses for how I could eat more. With my friends I snacked and slowly trained my appetite to get used to eating large chocolate bars and entire packets of biscuits. These things, combined with becoming depressed and constantly understimulated, turned into me bingeing pretty regularly.

I'm not sure if I know the complete root cause but I think that's pr much it and it generally gets triggered by the classic things like if I get upset, or if I'm very bored, or if I've accidentally went over my calorie limit (the stupidest one).

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

hey so i'm hoping to get some writing advice about creative burnout? like i seem to write in fits and spurts. some months i can churn out a oneshot or chapter everyday and some months i can do one (1) creative thing only. so i'm wondering how to prevent creative burnout and how to just create more smoothly <3 thank you!

Creative Burnout & How To Ward Against It

First, I’d like to preface this all by saying you’re definitely not alone. You probably already know this, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded.

I know from personal experience that creative burnout can leave you feeling hopeless, detached from yourself—the kind of identity crisis no one needs in 2020. 

So buckle in, folks. It’s a dosy.

I. The Symptoms

Not to be the local WebMD page here, but signs of burnout can include:

Procrastination (more than usual)

Dreading writing and feeling stuck or overly perfectionistic when you try

Physical tiredness and/or irritability

Feeling like everything is monotonous

It’s more than just writer’s block. It’s a physical and emotional exhaustion response to something that goes deeper than a simple lack of inspiration. In my experience, and from a bit of research, I’ve found that what your brain is really looking for is dopamine.

Dopamine is essentially your brain’s chemical reward system for doing something interesting or exciting to you. As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD, I have chronically low levels of dopamine, so this is a constant struggle for me—but it is absolutely made worse by creative burnout.

II. The Problem

Studies have shown that the more we do A Thing the less that thing will give us dopamine (unless a component of the activity changes regularly). This is because eventually our brains desensitise to the stimuli provided by the activity, and subsequently, we become disengaged.

But it’s not necessarily The Thing (i.e. writing) that becomes boring. Actually, more than a few factors could be at play here, and the first step to finding a solution is to identify the problem.

1. ENVIRONMENT LACKS EXCITEMENT/CHANGE—

Sometimes, the monotony of everyday life can feed creative burnout. This becomes especially applicable in quarantine when you’re not leaving your house.

What we don’t realise is that even something as small as the variables of driving to and from work, or interacting with passing coworkers, gives us dopamine. So if you have the same routine every day that does not involve any added variables, your brain will begin staunching that dopamine supply.

2. EITHER TOO EASY OR TOO CHALLENGING—

In 1975, Hungarian-American psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, coined the term “flow”, which refers to a heightened state of creativity and concentration on an activity. Csikszentmihalyi posited that if your skill level is equal to the level of challenge in any given activity, you will experience this state of flow.

The chart below is taken from Csikszentmihalyi’s own study on the subject of flow and motivation. It examines “your skill level” on the x axis in relation to the “challenge level” on the y axis.

Essentially:

Too much challenge + not enough skill = anxiety, worry (which might lead to procrastination and perfectionism)

Too much skill + not enough challenge = boredom, apathy (which might lead to monotony, irritability, and other depression-like symptoms)

Skill level = Challenge level = Flow

3. NOT ENOUGH “ACTIVE” STIMULATION—

When it comes to dopamine seeking, there is a distinct difference between active and passive stimulation in the brain.

Active stimulation is any form of activity that you have to actively engage in. For instance; exercising, doing a crossword puzzle, or reading a book. These kinds of activities not only give you dopamine, they also facilitate critical thinking and problem solving thought processes, which act as catalysts for creativity.

Passive stimulation, on the other hand, comes in the form of television, social media, and YouTube. It’s anything you can consume without having to actively engage. Passive stimulation will indeed give your brain dopamine, however, it won’t activate your creativity.

The problem also lies in the speed at which you receive the dopamine from passive activities. Passive stimulation is so easy to access that the more you consume, the harder it becomes to pick up active stimulation. Your brain expects a hit of dopamine just by picking up a phone or turning on the TV—it becomes addicted to the quick fix of a Netflix binge.

III. The Solutions

Based on the problems mentioned above, I am going to list a few solutions. Keeping in mind that not every solution will work for everyone, these can act as both preventative measures and remedies for someone who is currently burned out.

1. CHANGE UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT/ROUTINE—

Aim to do at least one thing per day that will add “variables” to the monotony. This can be as simple as going on a long walk, dressing up in that bold outfit you always wanted to wear to the office but never did, or sitting at a different workspace in your home.

Anything you can do that’s simple, but might provide an extra variable to your day to spice things up. Note: this shouldn’t be the same thing every day.

2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF MORE—

If you find yourself bored by your work, try challenging yourself more. This could mean setting goals for yourself that go a bit beyond what you’ve been doing. 

For example, if you’ve been writing 500 words per day, see if you can beat your own word count every day for the next week. If you’ve been writing mainly fluff pieces, switch it up and do an angst piece. See if you can write a book in a month, or start a blog where you don’t write fiction at all!

Anything you can do to add a little kick to your workload. Note: Beware of challenging yourself too much! This can lead straight back into burnout.

3. CHALLENGE YOURSELF LESS—

If you’re on the flip side of that coin, and find that you are anxious, procrastinating, and perfectionistic when it comes to writing, fret not. Just because you’re experiencing any of these things, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing the job with your skillset.

It just means your perception of the job needs to be shifted.

Procrastination, at its heart, is a fear of failure, which results in actively avoiding the negative emotions associated with the task that causes this fear. Perfectionism is a type of procrastination that is a combination of a fear of failure and a fear of success (or, more accurately, other’s critiques of your success) all at once.

Neither have anything to do with your actual skillset, but they have everything to do with your perception of your skillset. Obviously, this is a harder thing to fix, as it has to do with deeply ingrained levels of self-esteem.

What I can offer you is a tactic to trick your mind into thinking you’re capable.

If you have a task, big or small, and you are feeling overwhelmed by it (like you might go curl up in bed and scroll Tumblr), immediately break that task up into smaller tasks. Keep breaking up the smaller tasks until you have the smallest possible part of the bigger task without doing nothing.

Then do that smallest possible thing.

If your goal is to write a 2000 word one shot, a small part of that task is writing half of it. An even smaller part of that task is breaking the one shot up into “scenes” and writing one scene. For instance:

Jude wakes up to a sore throat, a runny nose, and a fever.

She tries to go to work, but Cardan, being the mother hen that he is, threatens to never make her another grilled cheese sandwich (her favourite food) ever again if she doesn’t stay home.

Jude agrees begrudgingly, and Cardan sits her down in front of the TV with a bottle of Gatorade. He leaves to go get medicine from the store.

When Cardan comes back, Jude is worse than before. He makes her soup and saltine crackers and spoon feeds her.

She complains the whole time and, in her feverish state, threatens to never buy him another bottle of wine (his favourite food) ever again if he doesn’t let her feed herself.

Each bullet point represents one “scene” of about 200-400 words each. Obviously, there will be more details that you work out as you write. But with these five smaller scenes, your goal is no longer writing the 2000 word one shot. Your goal is writing the first of the five scenes.

If you complete the smallest possible task, you can stop, and you’ll still feel like you’ve accomplished something because you can cross off that task from your list. But chances are, by the time you cross off one task, you may have inspiration enough to keep going.

4. ENGAGE IN ACTIVE STIMULATION—

Since active stimulation has been proven to turn on the creative “tap”, try incorporating more of these activities into your daily routine:

Exercise: As the resident couch potato, I hate to say that exercising is good for creativity, but it is. Even if it’s just going on a short walk, so long as you’re moving.

Reading: Sometimes you have plenty of ideas, but no words to fit those ideas. Fill your well of words by carving out an hour or two each day for reading a good book.

The Creative Process: In the writing world, the creative process is a process of about 20-30 minutes that the writer partakes in every day before they start writing. This process should be creative, but also have nothing to do with writing. You can try colouring in a colouring book, painting, organising a page in your bullet journal. Anything that is creative but does not make you think about everything you have to do that day. Think of it as creative meditation.

Listen to music: Having APD, I personally can’t listen to music while I write. However, studies have shown that if you listen to at least ten songs per day, it will significantly benefit your dopamine levels and overall mood. If you’re like me and prefer to work in silence, maybe stick on a couple songs during your creative process. If you can manage music and writing together, get out those headphones!

5. KEEP A REGULAR SCHEDULE—

I know this is the most cliche point in the book, but it’s valid. This doesn’t mean do the same thing at the same time every day over and over, because ultimately we’re looking to avoid monotony. 

But having pillars of structure to bolster the excitement can definitely work to keep you from slipping into burnout. Going to sleep, waking up, and having your meals at relatively the same time every day are good examples of this. 

Feel free to change up the things you do between breakfast and lunch, but make sure you have those pillars of consistency so your brain knows that a break is on the horizon and doesn’t get tired.

6. PACE YOURSELF—

This is particularly difficult for those of us who are coming out of a creative burnout, but I urge you to pay special attention to this one. If we are suddenly hit by inspiration and the writing is flowing and flowing and flowing, eventually we will hit the point of highest dopamine capacity for writing.

Not putting a check on the flood of inspiration coming out of a creative burnout, I’d argue, is actually a guarantee that many of us will experience burnout all over again. It becomes this vicious cycle in which we are trapped.

While it feels great to write non-stop and receive immediate validation for that work, try to limit yourself to how much you’re writing and how immediately you post your writing (if you plan on posting it).

Whenever I finish a one shot or a chapter of something, I like to allow at least one day for editing before I post. This timeframe is important, because it acts as a buffer of rest between writing marathons. 

You can take however long you need for the editing process, but definitely make sure you have a set amount of time in place. Otherwise, your brain might not have enough time to come down from what is essentially a writing high, and you will always need to reach greater heights in order to achieve that same level of dopamine.

~~~~

Overall, the most important things to take away from all of this are: 

Change up your environment

Keep your brain actively stimulated 

Have pillars of structure between which you can run about chaotically to your heart’s content

PACE YOURSELF!

Hope this helped. Happy writing!

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Tip Masterlist

Fic Masterlist

Celebrate 2K with me!

[bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love]

I just stumbled across your work and I am obssesed. I have been binging your work and I need more!!!!!🥰 So i know your working on a fic right now but i was wondering if after you could write about reader calling Shiggy their boyfriend and his first reaction to it. You can take as long as you want to write it if you do decide to do it. I just needed to get the idea out there!

Boyfriend ?

Well I hope you wanted sex cause there's sex. You asked me so I'm assuming you did😂😘 It's kinda short, sorry.

WORDS--1270

SHIGARAKI X FEMALE READER

WARNING- 18+ ONLY SMUT-SEX

Another boring meeting had finally ended, damn you hated these things. Not understanding why you had to be there. Yet Shigaraki insisted on it. Ever since he had become the leader of the PLF these stupid meetings were a regular thing. He had a whole army under his command, had evolved his quirk to a plus ultra level, so it was his duty. He was admired and feared. However you also admired him, but for different reasons. 

The two of you had grown close, sharing deep conversations, spending much time together.  Even becoming very intimate. There was one good thing about these meeting, Shigaraki always blow out your back afterwards, fucking you senseless, hell he always did that, it was a daily occurrence, sometimes several times in one day. The man was ravenous when it came to sex, he was like a man starved and you were a four course meal, he could go for several rounds never tiring. Fuck his sex drive was strong as well as his stanima.

You always wondered why in public he would be closed off but just figured that was how he was, or maybe he didn't want others to know. To be honest it kinda hurt your feelings. Why, does he think you're beneath him.

In public the two of you acted like normal, no touching or sweet words, just stolen glances. In private though he couldn't keep his hands off you, they were always trailing over your body, rubbing and squeezing, probing and worshipping you. The things he could do with those bigass hands and nimble fingers, they sent electricity coursing through you, and his tongue, sweet fucking hell that damn tongue made you feel as if your entire body was lit on fire.

Tomura was an amazing lover in every aspect of the word. Not to mention kinky as hell. The way he would dominate you, his filthy words, his hand around your neck as he made you call him master made you wet just thinking about it.

Today you were especially in your feelings about it, you were happy to be his, was this feeling not reciprocated. So as everyone left, instead of staying for the usual dicking down from your boss you got up to leave with the others, but were stopped by a firm hand on your arm.

"Where the hell are you going? You know where you belong after these meetings" he hissed, clearly pissed you were trying to leave.

“Not today, I don't want to, I’m not in the mood Shigaraki” bitterly informing him. Tired of him ignoring you, you turned your gaze to the ground. 

"Do you not want me anymore" the panic evident in his scratchy voice didn't go unnoticed by you.

"Of course I want you, it's just you're so standoffish when we are around others. In private you're all over me. I'm happy you're my man but let's face it as a boyfriend you kind suck at times.

Tomura stared at you in shock. 

"B boyfriend" he sputtered out.

Then it dawned on you, all this time you had considered him your man but he didn't feel the same, now it made sense and you could feel your heart breaking.

You have come to love and care for Shigaraki, to treasure your time with him. Looking forward to it. He didn't feel the same. To him you were just sex, nothing more, god why didn’t you see it.

Standing there you quickly turned away as you were struggling to hold back tears. 

"Just forget I said anything, but I'm not in the mood for sex so I'll just go. Once again heading for the door and once again being stopped by him. This time however it was his arms around your waist holding you against his lean chest, his head nestled in your neck, breathing in your sweet scent.

"Boyfriend" he crooked, repeating the word like it was foreign to him.

Was he crying? 

"You really want me, your not ashamed for everyone to know that your with me, that your having sex with me, that we're together" his voice shaky with emotion.

"Shiggy of course not, I'm proud to call you mine. Why would you even think that" you were astonished that he thought that.

"My face is covered in scars. I know how I look, my little Doll, I figured you didn't want people to know so I kept it a secret. I didn't want you to be embarrassed. You have no idea how hard it was. When I would see you, how badly I would want to kiss you. To have everyone know that you were mine. That you chose me over everybody else. That someone as gorgeous as you wanted me, but I was afraid you would deny it and I wouldn't be able to handle that, it would break my heart, or that you would stop being with me. I couldn’t take that" he sobbed.

"You really think that, Tomura I think you're hot as hell. I enjoy being around you, love being with you. I thought you didn't want people to know about me so I went along with it, but it was starting to piss me off." you assured him.

In an instance you were pushed back on the table, papers scattered underneath you as your lover eagerly hiked your skirt up around your waist, pushing your panties aside, his fingers breaching your tight walls, pumping into you at a fast pace. Your head thrown back as your moans filled his ears. 

“That’s it baby let me know how good I make you feel” he whispered into your neck.

Then without warning he pulled them out and quickly replaced them with his manhood, sliding it over your dripping sex, his pre cum mixing with your arousal before plunging into your tight heat.

“Tomura” you squealed as he stretched you out, filling you so perfectly, hitting the over sensitive spot within your depths, stars clouding your vision.  

His hand encasing your neck. 

“Say your mine, my love. I want to hear you say it, who owns you.” his tone leaving no room for debate, his eyes hooded with lust as he gazed at your beautiful form under him, your legs wrapped around his waist, arms gripping his lean muscular back, you looked like a goddess.

You were having a hard time speaking as he pounded into your soaking pussy, claiming it as his, making sure no other lover could ever please you the way he did. He would be the only one you ever knew. Mewls of intense pleasurse leaving your lips.

“Yes, I'm yours Master” you cried

“Master Shigaraki, say it, you should know how to address me when we fuck by now, I shouldn’t have to remind you Pet” he warned.

“Yes Master Shigaraki, I belong to you” 

“That's my good girl” he praised, his hips repeatedly slamming into you drenched cunt, wet sounds of skin slapping filling the room like a serenade as he grunted his approval above you. Slamming into you hard and fast, pulling nearly all the way out before sheathing himself completely in your tightness.  

Your walls were squeezing him so hard he could feel you clenching around him as your release crashed through you making his throbbing cock erupt shooting his cum deep within you, filling you so full it leaked out onto the table pooling beneath you two. 

“I love you Y/N” he panted. 

“I love you too Tomura” you breathed

“Now let's go to our room for round two” his lips forming a smirk, promising a very heated session.

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

Stray Kids’ reaction to their S/O catching them stare

Scenario: You catch them stare.

Genre: Fluff/ Humour Pairing: Stray Kids members X Reader Word count: 2,3K Warnings: None. Author’s note: I was in highly need of some fluff and I think more STAYs are <3. Take care everyone! Priorities your mental health and your physical health of course and STAY safe!

Chan:

The two of you had entered a café, wanting to work together even though you both had a day off. You had to admit, the pair of you were workaholics, yet very supportive of one another and rather protective of each other’s health. Chan insisted on going on a date, but since there was a lot of work to do, you both brought your laptops along.

You had been sitting together in silence in a corner booth of the café, both concentrated on your own work as you sipped on your tea. Chan sighed after writing lyrics for a new song and stretched his tired body whilst looking at you. He smiled at himself when he saw your puffed cheeks and the small pout that were showing on your face.

He thereafter rested his and under his head for support as he unconsciously began to stare. He felt his chest warm up when he looked at you, the amount of love he felt towards you was almost overwhelming, but he wouldn’t mind drowning in it any day.

You were losing motivation and concentration to keep on working and decided to take a small break. Whilst taking your eyes off the screen in front of you, you could sense a pair of eyes watching you. When Chan shyly looked away from you and panicked to act cool, you knew you caught him staring. “What? Is my beauty that distracting?” You joked whilst wiggling your eyebrows. “Yes, very.” Chan mutters, causing your heart to flutter, leaning closer to him to press a kiss on his cheek, this time it was his heart that was fluttering.

Minho:

You had invited, well basically dragged your boyfriend to your auntie’s wedding. She was one of your favourite persons in the world, Minho of course being one of them. She had drunkenly dragged you later during the party onto the dancefloor, splitting your from your boyfriend. She had been dancing with you for a while as Minho was being bored by your other aunties who were almost having an interview with him as they bombarded him with questions.

‘What do you do for a living?’ ‘Do you earn much-‘ ‘Janice don’t ask that, don’t be rude… But do you?’

Minho was desperately looking through the crowd to find you and when he did, he felt the heavy feeling of bothersome fall off his shoulders when your smile caught his eyes. You were his instant happiness, a little happy virus that he needed in his life.

You didn’t notice your boyfriend staring at you as you continued to dance, but your still-wasted auntie did. She made eye contact and signed to Minho to take over the dancing. And before you knew it you felt a pair of hands around your waist, scaring you for a second until you heard Minho’s voice whisper in your ear.

“Enjoying yourself without me honey?” He pouted. “A little guess, you were as well watching me, but it’s always better when I’m with you.” You winked as you had turned around to dance with him, holding his hand before pulling him closer to your body. “Beautiful.” Minho muttered, making you blush as you playfully hit his chest and hiding your face in the crook of his neck. Leaving Minho bursting out in laughter.

Changbin:

Binnie had dragged you to the studio as he wanted to work on some projects a little longer. You had been home alone due to Covid and really wanted to get out of the apartment for a while. Seated on one of the leather chairs behind Bin you were munching on some chips he had quickly picked up from a convenience store across the road.

“Baby, can you listen to this for me? I don’t know how I feel about it.” Your boyfriend mutters before handing you the headphones that he was wearing before. Placing it over your head you listened to the beat that your talented boyfriend had composed.

Changbin in the meantime was waiting nervously for you to finish listening. He always thought that your opinion weighted heavily on his music. He wanted everything to be perfect and that you surely would love it, which you did either way.

He was caught up staring at you that he didn’t notice that you were already done and talking to him, giving positive feedback and telling him what you loved about the song already.

“Binnie?” “Y-yes! I was listening! Yes! Hi!” He stuttered, making you giggle. “You’re cute Dwaekki.” You teased, pinching his cheeks as they heated up after being caught. “Hush, you’re the cute one here baby.” He mutters, trying to hide his face in the palms of his hands shyly.

Hyunjin:

‘Let’s go on a date.’ He had suggested as it was your one-year anniversary.

You now were getting ready for the date, he had made reservations at your favourite restaurant and planned on taking Kkami with you. Whilst fixing your hair and applying a little makeup in your shared bedroom, you didn’t notice your boyfriend of one year entering the bedroom in the room next to you.

“Sweetie, do you know where my silk blouse is?” He had asked, peaking his head through the doorframe, expecting you to answer him. But silence filled the room instead as you didn’t hear him and he was stunned by your beauty.

Through the year he had been around with you, especially since the two of you decided quite early in your relationship to move in together, yet every time Hyunjin saw you getting ready, he was mesmerised.

To him you were an angle that was send from above and he couldn’t help but admire the beautiful creation he was blessed enough to call his. You caught his stares as you made eye contact with him through the mirror, causing the both of you burst out in giggles and only being able to make out gibberish in your flustered states.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, kissing your hair whilst hugging you from behind. “Speak for yourself handsome.” You giggled before pressing your lips on his.

Jisung:

“Here’s your cheesecake!” You chirped, handing your boyfriend his plate as you sat down next to him. “You’re the best.” He cried out dramatically before pressing kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle. “I know, now shush and watch the movie Han.” You said, focussing your eyes on the screen in front of you after teasing Jisung, who couldn’t help but pout.

The movie wasn’t that thrilling to him and wandered his eyes off the screen rather often. They landed on you, who was fixated on Aladdin who was singing ‘A whole new world’ with Jasmine. The cheesecake that you held also made its way to your mouth every once in a while and Jisung smiled to himself as he watched you adopt yet another habit of his, which was stuffing his cheeks as he ate.

He had rested his head on the sofa that the two of you were sitting on as he continued to stare at you. He really had no choice. You were wearing his oversized hoodie and you looked more beautiful than ever to him. He never really liked extravagant dates with candlelight dinners every time he wanted to spend time with you. A big blanket, cuddles and some good snacks did the trick for him.

As Jisung was thinking about how much he loves you he didn’t notice that you had turned your head to him, wondering if he heard you after you cracked a joke. “Sungie?” No reaction. Causing you to giggle. “Earth to Sung?” You teased, waving your hand in front of his face, making him jump in his seat. “Take a picture baby, it lasts longer.” You snickered trying to hug him, as Jisung hid his face under the fluffy blanket.

Felix:

A visit to the dog café had become a weekly routine of yours and Lix.

He had pretty much become attached to the dogs, but since they couldn’t take care of them at the dorms due to work and other schedules, Lix made a promise to himself to visit them as much as possible.

And after he met you he had brought you along with him ever since. You really loved seeing him so excited to play with the dogs. It was almost like he had become a puppy himself. “I’m sorry have you seen my boyfriend, I can only spot these adorable puppies.” You had jokes once, making him burst out in heartily laughter. “Your loyal companion is here!” Lix would play along before skipping his way to you and surprising you with a tight embrace.

Today, you were seated, eyes fixated on the puppy in your lap, as Felix played with the others. His heart swelled at the sight of you babying the small creature on your lap, playing peek-a-boo with it. He felt a little jealous of the puppy as it was receiving more attention than he was from you, causing him to continue to stare at you.

Because he first of all really couldn’t take his eyes off the adorable scene, but also because he wanted to catch your attention. And when he did, he couldn’t help but feel shy and embarrassed when he saw you laugh at his flustered state. “Lix stop staring!” “Well! You’re giving that puppy more attention than to me! I’m your boyfriend!” He whined playfully. “Lix, have you seen these puppies, how could I possibly ignore them?” “I want to be like a puppy to you.” He teased, making you shake your head in disbelief of your ridiculously cute boyfriend.

Seungmin:

Your boyfriend, Seungmin, had a tight schedule today. And since you had a day off you decided to do something nice for him.

You cooked his favourite food, made sure that you had his favourite shows and movies ready to binge when he would come home from work. You brought him a small gift, knowing that he might be very exhausted and in need of something to cheer him up.

Seungmin in the meantime was longing to go home, filming the music video for their upcoming comeback was tiring and hard work, but to his surprise they finished earlier than he thought. The director was surprised as well at the scenes they shot perfectly at the first try, making the team feel proud of themselves and their hard work they always put into their craft.

Your boyfriend sighed in delight when he entered your apartment. He dropped his bag and took off his shoes as he called out your name. No responds. Instead, he heard music and singing come from the kitchen. He didn’t think too much of it, assuming that your playlist was playing.

But he was surprised to hear the notes coming from your mouth as you sung along perfectly, leaving your boyfriend stunned as he stared at you in awe. Sooner enough the two of you jumped in surprise as you let out a squeal, surprised to see your boyfriend stand there all of the sudden. “How long have you been there?” You asked in embarrassment as you hid your face in your hands. “Long enough to realise how much of a talented partner I have!” Seungmin chirped excitedly as he pressed kisses on your cheeks. “Staring isn’t nice you know.” “Hiding such talent also isn’t.” He teased, making your heart flutter once again, leaving him laughing.

Jeongin:

His hands were sweating and he was almost shaking in his chair as he peaked your way. The professor in front of the two of you was minding her own business as Jeongin’s mind drifted off.

He had been crushing on you ever since the two of you entered college together, which had been a year by now, yet Jeongin never had the courage to say anything other than ‘hi’ to you. Which was surprising since you were pretty much always seated right next to him.

He often wondered if you could hear his heart beat loudly for you, it felt like it could jump out of his chest any second. It was driving him mad, but not as much as the fact that he was just too much of a coward was still in the picture. Here you were as usual, looking beautiful as always. And he was still out her being a coward.

Something snapped in him when he realised that you wouldn’t be single forever. He stiffened and tried to find the courage to talk to you. He didn’t felt himself turn towards you and look at you directly. You didn’t notice at first, but out of the corner of your eye, you had to try your hardest to control the blush that wanted to rush to your cheeks as his eyes were fixated on your face.

You dared to turn to your long-time crush, making actual eye contact with him for maybe the third time in a whole year. “Are you okay?” You asked carefully in a whisper as you caught him staring. “P-please go out on a date with me!” He asked a little too loud as people shot their gazes towards the two, but Y/n didn’t care as her heart was racing as fast as his. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Gifs aren’t mine.

Hope you like it!

[pair-annoyed]

Anime I Watched This Fall

My first semester of college is officially over and the December holidays are upon us! I hoped to make one of these posts sooner, but I have been incredibly busy with schoolwork. Now that things have slowed down, let’s take sometime to reflect on things I’ve watched. 

These anime are listed in chronological order and encompass everything I’ve watched from 9/1/2020 - 12/15/2020

Like always, they will be rated on a 1-10 scale; 1 meaning complete garbage, 10 meaning masterpiece. I will offer my thoughts on what I did/didn’t like about each show!

1. The God of High School - 6/10 

Despite the stellar animation from MAPPA and my high expectations, I was really disappointed by how this series was treated. Most of the story’s crucial elements were handled poorly. I finished this series feeling more confused about the plot than when I first began. The power system is really cool, but poorly explained. More time should have been spent on exposition and world building for this series, instead the fights were given the most screen time. 

2.  Doukyuusei - 7/10 

I really liked the style of Doukyuusei. Granted, this was another movie I chose to watch primarily because of the hype surrounding it. The dynamic between Kusakabe and Sajou is an interesting one, and I also enjoy how the movies different acts were separated by the seasons. However, there's nothing that really sets Doukyuusei apart from other romance movies, its a little generic. Still, I enjoyed it nonetheless. 

3.  Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu 2nd Season - 8/10 

My opinions on Re:Zero’s second season are biased. This was, by far, the sequel I was most hyped for during the summer/fall anime season. I was so happy to see the story’s continuation and I’m looking forward to the season’s second part coming sometime in January. Re:Zero is one of my all time favorite series because of the way it handles it characters and power dynamics. I also really enjoy the show’s psychological aspects. If you haven’t already, give Re:Zero a try! 

4. Saint☆Oniisan (Movie + OVA) - 8/10

This was a wonderful comedy. I wasn’t sure how the subject of Jesus and Buddha living together would be tackled, but it was handled wonderfully. I was laughing for pretty much the entire movie. I love the art style and little references to both Buddhism and Christianity, plus the incorporation of Japanese culture. Saint Oniisan is a bright comedy, with two eccentric main characters. If you like a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and need a good laugh, I can’t recommend this more.

5. Clannad: After Story - 10/10 

Never, while watching anime, did I cry as much as I did while watching Clannad: After Story. I didn’t realize how much I related to Okazaki until I saw him grow up in After Story. I was left sobbing, especially after episode 18. I still, to this day, cannot listen to the Dango song without tearing up. The original Clannad is nothing special, but the continuation of its story its something heartfelt, emotional, and down-to-earth. I love Kyoto Animation with all my heart, and Clannad made me appreciate everything the studio has done just a little bit more. Thank you Clannad, for reminding me about the kind of person I strive to be. 

6. Nakitai Watashi wa Neko wo Kaburu - 5.5/10

The art in A Whisker Away was beautiful. The story itself, however, is nothing too enjoyable. I found it difficult to like our protagonist or her love interest. Nothing about this movie is inherently memorable. The emotional climax came far too early which made the second half of the film seem long and drawn out.  All in all, the movie has a wonderful concept, I just believe it could have been so much more emotional than it was. When I watch a move, I like to empathize with the characters. It’s difficult to do when the characters aren’t given the proper exposition to be empathized with. 

7.  Shikioriori - 6/10

This is less of a movie and more of a collection of short stories. Flavors of Youth is something you shouldn’t watch on an empty stomach, all of the food looks incredible. The same cannot beside for the rest of this feature. The stories themselves seems heavily clichéd. Much like A Whisker Away, the initial premise is intriguing, but the execution results in something that comes across as trying too hard and carries no emotional weight with the viewer. If you plan on watching, pay more attention to the artwork and animation than the actual plot. You won’t be missing anything. 

8. Vinland Saga - 7/10

Vinland Saga helped me get out of the rut that Clannad: After Story. Not only does this show have a great story, its action packed with lots of interesting fights. I especially enjoyed all the Nordic history embedded within the show. Its really unlike any of the other historical anime I’ve watched. I will say, it’s gory. But, compared to all the other things I watched this time around, I finished this series the quickest. Its good, its graphic, its fast paced! 

9.  Mononoke Hime - 7/10

It’s ironic considering how much anime I’ve watched that I have yet to watch all of the most classic Studio Ghibli films. Princess Mononoke is grittier than most other Ghibli films I’ve seen, but it’s message is positive and its characters are wonderful. I can’t really speak ill towards classics like these. I guess maybe my one complaint is that this movie could’ve been a faster pace. Other than that... I really enjoyed everything Princess Mononoke offered! I understand why it’s so popular.  

10. Howl no Ugoku Shiro - 8.5/10 

Can you believe it took me this long to finally watch Howl’s Moving Castle? Me neither!! This movie is so endearingly beautiful. I loved every second of it, from the characters to the soundtrack. So many iconic things come from just this one movie. I would like to take this time to thank my best friend for reminding me that Studio Ghibli films are wonderful! Thank you for watching this with me, I loved it! All in all, I regret not watching this sooner! 

11. Toradora! - 6.5/10 

Toradora took me a while to finish, just because I lost interest about halfway through. But, I powered through it, and ended up really enjoying the show! I’m not the biggest fan of the ending, but that’s just a personal preference. Somehow, this show also made me cry? I’m not entirely sure why because Toradora! is probably the thing farthest from sad. Apart from the show’s dull slice of life moments, it was super cute! A much needed light-hearted romance. 

12. New Initial D Movie: Legend 1 - 5/10 

Full disclosure, this is the only thing related to Initial D that I’ve ever watched. My band and I watched this expecting to hear some of that iconic Initial D music, itself all we got was a mildly confusing story about different types of cars. It was cliché and frankly a little boring. Although, I am still considering watching the original Initial D just so I can hear the music in the way it was original intended. I’ve got no other opinions on this movie. It’s best not to watch these movies without the context from the rest of the franchise.  

13.  Uchuu Patrol Luluco - 7.5/10

I didn’t really understand why people enjoy studio Trigger so much until I watched Space Patrol Luluco. I loved all the fun references to other studio Trigger works. I loved the humor, and I loved all the bright colors. The animation was extremely high energy, and the art style fits the show’s premise. Each episode was only 12 minutes long so it was a super quick binge. If you’re looking for something quick, light-hearted and comical, this is the perfect show to watch.

14. Orange - 7/10 

I owe a big thanks to a tumblr mutual for recommending this show to me! This holds the honor of making me cry by episode 3! I honestly did not expect the subject matter of this show to be as dark as it was. Usually when I see the genre ‘shoujo’ I do not associate it with a love story like that of Orange. The heavy subject matter made it a little too close to home for me, but I still really enjoyed this series. It reminds me off all the good times I had with my friends in high school, and of all the regrets I carry with myself to this day. 

15. 3-gatsu no Lion - 7.5/10 

March Comes in Like a Lion is another show that was a bit of a slow burn for me. Each episode left me feeling emotionally drained, so I had to take a lot of breaks while I was working on watching this series. Shaft, the studio behind this anime, holds a special place in my heart because I loved their work on the Monogatari Series. March Comes in Like a Lion is a little different. It’s driving force it is characters, and it was cathartic to watch our main character transform through the entire duration of the first season. I know the show’s second season is much better, so I’ll be starting that soon! 

16. Yojouhan Shinwa Taikei - 8/10 

I loved how artsy and smart The Tatami Galaxy is, but honestly I couldn’t watch too much at once cause it would hurt my head. I also couldn’t watch this show while I was tired because the speaking rate is much faster than typical anime. The Tatami Galaxy is so unique for its medium. I loved the different time loops and the crazy animation. The characters were fascinating. The dialogue, although very fast, it also fantastic. There’s an element of humor to this unique story telling, and I enjoyed ever minute of it! 

Currently Watching:

Hunter x Hunter - 6.5/10 (As of Episode 30)

I pride myself in having watched a lot of shounen anime, but I was reluctant to start Hunter x Hunter for years because I thought I would find it boring. I was oh so very wrong. Considering great shows like Naruto and Fairy Tail that fall under the same category, I expected Hunter x Hunter to be subpar in comparison. It gets a low score for two reasons. One, the power system was introduced a little too late and now I’m wondering if all the fights post episode 30 will involved nen in some way, shape, or form. Two, its still on hiatus. 

Two Cursed Additions For This List

Please to do not let these be representative of my anime taste. 

1.  Yarichin☆B*tch-bu - 4/10

I am a CLOWN for not knowing this was 18+. The only reason I watched this was to see why everyone was talking about the pink-haired boy with the glasses and tongue piecing. I know why now, and I regret it. This was a massive mistake on my part. But hey, at the least the art and ending song kinda slap? 

2. Euphoria (Dropped After 1 Episode) - 2/10

If you know what I’m talking about when I say Euphoria, I am so sorry. And no, I am not talking about the HBO series. Seriously, don’t google this. Don’t watch this. Don’t interact with anything related to this. You’re probably wondering, “Then why did you watch it?” I did not watch this willingly. You see, I have a very bad habit of starting anime and then taking months to finish them. I made an ultimatum with a friend, lost, and then was forced to watch this a punishment. Not a fun experience. I’m very glad there are no GIFs of this on tumblr...

[erenscherub]

Hey, your answer to your last ask is so relatable, i'm a pharmacy student and everything you said about science is really accurate. I wanna praise your choice of words in the series as well, and how your explanations wouldn't bore someone who is hugely uninterested in scientific topics. I also loved how you expressed the way your mc went through miscarriage. The series are very well written, but i just wished eren and mc were more private abt their relationship, maybe eren didnt need constant lectures and fights from others and that he should have been the one to protect mc from everything and from himself, at the same time i wish i could hit him on the carotid artery and be done with him and his drama

I discovered your blog today while on a study break and i binge read your series seasons, your style is so good, I can't wait to finish this month exams so that i can read your other works.

Thank you so much for your kind review 🤧🤧

It’s always nice to talk to a fellow pre-med student! I have two close friends right now that are on the pharmacy track and I wish you all luck with your coursework! Shit’s hard. I think the worst classes for me were molecular bio, genetics, and o-chem.

“I could hit him on the carotid artery and be done with his drama” BAHAHA. Poor Eren, it’s like another ‘donut’ situation.

More rambling under the cut cause it got pretty long

My friend E said the same thing that everyone needs to mind their business when it comes to the reader and Eren. But then she also admitted if one of her best friends was going through such a rough patch and wasn’t being treated well, she’d be encouraging her friend to leave their partner.

I do agree if this was real and not a work of fiction, there’s a lot of things that would not fly well for me. 100% agree that some things especially the anniversary dinner and the birthday party as well as the fight when the reader got back from California should have been matters handled privately.

And if I tried to keep my daughter from learning certain things about her father and my parents still went behind my back after I told them not to, I probably would have had a conversation with my parents and friends on boundaries or threaten going no contact.

I think Amanda and Zeke have always been meddlers. But for the most part, your other friends like Colt, Marcel, Annie, Petra, and Mikasa haven’t really been as vocal or intrusive until the last year of your marriage when things were getting so bad to the point even Cyrus was picking up on the non verbal cues that something was wrong. Because in the end, Eren is still Mikasa and Zeke’s brother. And Annie and Petra were Eren’s friends first.

Though kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, when Cyrus, Eliza’s best friend who spends a lot of time around Eren began acting up around him, that’s what caught everyone’s attention and they started to be more nosy. I’m a firm believer that kids and dogs’ aversion to certain people can be telling. Basically the affair has been going on for roughly almost two years but it’s after Eren kept messing up consecutively in December that’s when the reader’s friends were more intent on stepping in to mediate since the mc is the type of person to bottle up all her feelings/push everything under the rug and pretend everything is fine

[myrandom-fandomlife]

I Think I Kinda, You Know Chapter 1: The Agreement

JJ Maybank x Carrera! Reader 

Moodboard, Summary, and Playlist

Gif Credit 

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, implications of smut, mentions of a toxic relationship and cheating

A/N: So, I’ve been working on this for a while, trying to make it an awesome first chapter. I was originally going to write actual smut into it, but I decided against it because I feel like my smut is super cringe. I might write descriptive smut in future chapters. I’m really proud of this, so I hope you guys like. Huge thanks to my beta and irl best friend @otherfandomsrun​ for proof reading, helping with ideas, and hyping me up. Show her some love! I kinda ended this on a cliff hanger, but I’m already working on chapter 2! Fic is below the cut, and feel free to ask to be on the tag list!

You sat next to your sister, Kiara, on the HMS Pogue. That pogue group of friends had expanded quite a bit in the last year. First it was you, Kie finally deeming you old enough to tag along on their adventures. (Which you had, anyway. You were only a year younger, for God’s sake.) Then Sarah, who you and Kie weren’t too fond of, but once you got to know her she was actually pretty awesome. Sarah’s dating John B, Kie and Pope are… complicated, which leaves you and JJ. Generally, you are left alone together because the others have paired off, and recently there has been some unexplained tension between the two of you. You couldn’t lie either, JJ is hot. But, you knew JJ wasn’t one for commitment, and if Kiara knew about your attraction to him, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. So you try your best to repress any non-platonic feelings of attraction down.

“You good Y/N?” Sarah asked. She’s laying her head in John B’s lap across from you. Pope is driving the boat and Kie is next to you, looking out at the water. JJ is on the other side of you, smoking.

“Yeah, just spaced out for a second. I’m good though,” You smiled and leaned over to the cooler to grab another beer. 

“I’m bored,” JJ complains, promptly stealing your beer, taking a long gulp. 

“Come on, JJ! I just opened that!” He smirks at you so retaliate by stealing his blunt from his hand and taking a hit.

“I know,” He takes another long drink. You take another hit and blow the smoke in his face. 

Kie pinches your side, making you flinch, “Careful. If you go home smelling like weed, mom and dad will have a fit.” Your parents weren’t strict, really. And they had warmed up to your group of friends quite a bit, occasionally inviting them over to dinner or to eat at the restaurant. Surprisingly, your mom’s favorite of the group was JJ, and she had always wanted either you or Kie to date him. She loved Pope, though, of course, but you thought she probably wanted to take in JJ as the son she never had. 

“Nah, Kie, let her live a little. Plus, your parents aren’t home tonight. Something about a ‘much needed date night.’” He shrugs at your confused faces and steals the joint back, taking a long drag. “She told me I have to stay with Y/N while Kie is working late tonight.” She was always talking to JJ and putting him to work when he came over to pick up you and Kie, so you weren’t surprised she had told him that before you guys left.

“Oh no, you don’t have t-” You start.

“I’m glad she’ll have someone there, I don’t like her being home alone,” Kie cuts you off, giving you a look that says ‘don’t argue with me, because I’ll win.’

“Yeah, some of the guys on Figure Eight, are super creepy,” Sarah adds. John B nods in agreement, but you think he’s dozing off. 

“You mean like, your brother?” Kie asks, causing Sarah to laugh.

“That guy, Chad, that Y/N dated was a huge creep, though,” JJ adds with a hint of hostility, and everyone nods in agreement. 

“And a cheater!” Pope calls, causing you to tense up. Chad was still a sore subject for you. You had dated for 6 months and right at the end you found out he had been sleeping with other girls the whole time. You broke up about a month ago and you were definitely over him, but it still hurt to know you wasted 6 months of your life on that scumball.

“Too soon, man,” JJ answers, passing the blunt back to you. You and him had grown closer in the past month, him being there to comfort you after the break up when the others couldn’t. Not to say that Kie and Sarah weren’t there for you, Sarah came to your house and you three watched movies all night when it happened. Of course, all three of the boys offered to fight him for you- which you politely declined; but it’s the thought that counts. Everyone helped you cope one way or another, but whether they were working, doing school work, or navigating their own new relationships, they couldn’t be there for you as much as JJ had in the past month. You weren’t mad at all, though. You were sort of grateful it had been him. Everyone else was walking on eggshells around you the first week or two, like they were scared to be happy in front of you. JJ was his usual self, though. He would make you laugh, and let you cry. He was there when you needed him most, and you were glad.

You happily take his offer and shrug the comment off, “It’s okay, J, he’s right.” He gives you a sympathetic look that says, you sure? And you nod, handing his joint back. 

“Oh shoot, I have work in an hour,” Kie says just as we pull up to the dock.

“Dad needs me home tonight to help with some project at the house,” Pope adds, while JJ starts securing the boat to the pier.

“Hey,” Sarah taps John B’s face lightly, “We have dinner with my parents soon. Time to wake up.” He stirs and opens his eyes groggily, flinching a little from the light. Everyone gathers their things, sunkissed and exhausted from the day of boating.

“And we have absolutely nowhere to be,” JJ playfully bows and holds out his hand to help you up onto the small deck. 

You laugh and take his hand, stepping off the worn vehicle. “Except for watching Friends at my house.”

“Very true. Pizza?” He asks brightly. JJ coming over to watch movies or binge a tv series while eating pizza with you and sometimes Kie had become a common occurrence. These nights usually ended with the two or three of you falling asleep sprawled on the sofa together.

You nod, “Duh.” A small chuckle escapes him and you walk up to the Chateau, where you had all met that morning. Then you all start going your separate ways, but you, Kie, and JJ all pile into the silver SUV your parents had gotten for Kiara when she turned 16. They got you a car when you turned 16 a couple of months ago, but Kie liked driving more than you did. You thought maybe it made her feel like you still needed her, which you do. You can’t imagine not having Kie to help you through everything in your crazy life. 

The sound of JJ saying your name from the front seat snaps you out of your thoughts, “What, JJ?” 

He turns his head and his lips curve into a smirk, “Oh nothing, I was just saying how hot you look tonight.” He then bursts out laughing at what you assume is the look on your face.

Small giggles leave you. Kie shoves JJ’s shoulder lightly and adds, “Stop hitting on my sister!” At that you and Kiara crack up too, the car filled with your laughter as you head home.

--------

Approaching the large house, Kie jumps out of her car almost as soon as it’s parked, muttering about being late and needing to get ready. As you and JJ head inside, JJ questions, “Want me to order the pizza?”

“Yeah, I just want to change out of this swimsuit,” You scrunch your nose up, “Saltwater.”

He softly smiles, “The usual?” You shake your head yes and shoot him a grin in return before turning to go up the stairs. You swear you can feel his eyes on you as you retreat.

You try to be quick, donning a cropped t-shirt and some cotton shorts. You throw your hair into a messy bun, bounding down the stairs when you’re done. Your eyes land on the blonde-haired boy in the living room and you see that he already has the pizza, “What are you? Magic?”

His eyes slowly trail down your body, making your face heat up, but he laughs, “Nah, just had to name drop and I was given high priority on my order.”

You giggle, and he adds that Kie had left for work while you were changing. You help get blankets set up on the couch, and turn on the tv. He’s already grabbed a few beers to split between the two of you and you usually just eat the pizza straight out of the box. Pressing play on Friends, you start your favorite kind of night.

--------

A whole pizza and two beers each into your sleepover, you’re both feeling a little buzzed. Currently, you are discussing Chandler and Monica’s relationship, “Yeah, I don’t know. I haven’t been laid in a while so I feel like I need a situation like them, where they just have sex. Minus the feelings though, because gross.” You shudder dramatically and he laughs.

“Yeah, I agree. I just want someone I can have really good sex with, no strings attached.”  He pauses, then looks up at you, a calculating expression on his face.

Then you get what he’s thinking, “JJ...”

“No, think about it. We’re both super hot, we both want to get laid, and we both want no feelings. We could even make a contract if that makes you feel better?” He rambles for a second, still thinking.

“Okay, say we did do this. What would the rules be?”

“Well, there’s the obvious one. The other pogues cannot know. Especially not Kie.” He licks his lips.

You nod, “Yeah, I get that. How about, if one of us gets uncomfortable with the arrangement, we stop?”

He meets your eyes with his dark blue ones and moves toward you on the couch, “Agreed. The last one is very important. We absolutely are not allowed to fall in love. Can you manage?” His lips curve into that smirk again and you can’t help but let a small laugh tumble past your lips.

“I can, can you?” He moves even closer from his side of the couch, and your breathing hitches. The noises from the TV can’t be heard over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Definitely.” Then his lips are on yours and you forget how to breathe for a second. His tongue is exploring your mouth, hands moving to the bottom of your thighs to wrap your legs around his waist. He starts kissing down your neck, your hands pulling at his hair and making him groan into you.

You feel him bite down on your soft skin, your chest heaving. “Fuck, JJ. Upstairs,” You moan when he continues his antics. He complies with your request and let’s just say, it was a very good night.

--------

You wake up naked, with an ache between your legs as you slowly recall the events from the night before. You groggily open your eyes, spotting a familiar blonde head right away. He looks peaceful. You turn over to check your clock and realize you have an hour until your early work shift, meaning Kie will be knocking at your door very soon.

“Shit,” You tap JJ lightly on the shoulder and he stirs, “J, get up, Kie’s gonna be at my door soon and I don’t think she’s gonna like that you’re currently naked in my bed.”

He smiles, “Good morning to you, too, sunshine.”

You hit him with your pillow, “I’m serious, JJ!” You get up, stumbling a bit on your sore legs, which he smiles proudly at. Then you’re rushing to put some clothes on and he reluctantly does the same.

He puts his hands out in front of him in surrender, “Okay, okay. How am I supposed to get out without Kie seeing? I can’t exactly walk out the front door.”

“Um.. how about the window?” Before JJ could respond, there was a knock at the door, both of your eyes widening in shock.

Tag list: @treestarrrrrrrr​ @sspidermanss​ @harrysbbby​ @thatsonobx​

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Caught up on this week’s episodes...

Nothing greatly offended me this week so that’s something. Haha. It was relatively pleasant to binge my way through. 

I do like Vic and David and I hope they get a chance for something together post Meena. But also...my god was that kiss terrible. Haha. Covid needs to go away just so we can stop having to watch these awful social distanced kisses (unless it’s Ben and Aaron who haven’t even had one but also never need to and never need to get within 2 meters of each other ever). 

Seeing Harry and Theo was fun though. And I liked Amy getting involved and being all “I see what’s happening here” with Vic and David. 

Meena’s still a psycho and it’s still fun to watch. I do really hope that ssw is the climax of her story though because I don’t want it to be another one that gets dragged out forever until we hate it. I want it to go out on a high. 

I’m glad the Kings are back together. I thought the portacabin stuff was fun, especially with Bernice and Laurel getting involved. I swear, every time actual friendships are shown, the show gets so much better. I was glad Nicola and Jimmy at least addressed some of the problems that caused the break up and that Nicola said they still had stuff to work through in today’s episode. I just want to see them actually working through it. However, I’m still just like “what was the point in all of this Juliette and Paul nonsense if we’re just going to reset”? So I really do hope the show lets them learn from this and put those lessons into practice on screen. Not to make everything about Robron (but of course I am), one of the reasons I love their break up story so much is that you could really see what caused the breakdown of their relationship and then they really identified their communication issues as the biggest problem during the reunion and then we saw them really work on that going forward. If this whole story for the Kings was a way to expose their flaws as a couple and then allow them to identify those and fix them then...okay. Still a shoddy story but I guess I could live with it if we see them actually growing stronger as a result. 

I did majorly roll my eyes at Laurel and Bernice referencing the Nate plot with Coira’s break up and reunion. Haha. 

I still don’t totally understand this trolling plot. I mean, I knew it was Cathy but I really want there to be real motivations there for this behavior and I don’t feel like there are going to be good ones. And it’s still nothing that was built up at all either. Even the Heath getting passed over by Bob thing happened after the trolling already started and Cathy was the one who took Bob’s attention off of Heath and put it on April in the first place so... I don’t know. I just want more out of this than I’m sure they’re going to give me. But hey...I guess it’s setting up for future serial killer Cathy. Surprised she let Heath make it out of the womb. 

The whole bad review at the pub thing was kind of very dumb and I’m kind of already tired of Marlon’s money troubles, especially since Chas doesn’t seem to have a care in the world. I will say that the scene with Marlon and Paddy in the back room was the most tolerable Paddy has been in ages because he was actually allowed to be an adult for once and that was a nice change of pace. But yeah...I just want Chas to lose the pub so badly and for Marlon to get saved by a new non Dingle partner. 

The Liam and Jacob chat in the graveyard was lovely. 

Concerned for Leyla. I feel like she’s one I wouldn’t mind being pregnant (I reserve the right to change my mind because they always ruin pregnant women on this show) but I do feel like she actually wants this baby and the whole situation is just sad. 

The Liv stuff was...fine. Dreading next week though. I was glad to see that Mandy is still being told off for what she said about Liv’s sexuality though. And Aaron in big brother mode was mostly tolerable because I liked that he thought Liv and Vinny were back together too soon but was actually respecting her right to make her own decisions. That felt healthy. But I liked that he yelled at Mandy for what she said but told her to try being supportive too. And well.. at least he let her take the job and didn’t force her to work at the scrapyard with him. Obviously that’s going to backfire a bit next week but ultimately if she keeps the job, I think it will be a good thing for her character in the long run. I also did like Laurel being there for Liv since they’re both alcoholics. 

I still have no idea what they’re trying to do with Mack or Mack and Charity or Ryan but Mack looked cute with his flat hair and couch cushions. 

The Sarah donor stuff is...interesting. That Chloe girl does seem a bit off though. 

Russ is already extremely annoying. 

Ben is still utterly boring. 

[theyarebothgunshot]

Another heteronormative S4 viewer whose eyes popped right the fuck open when cas burst through the barn doors and dean promptly stabbed him in the heart lol. No lie that dean/cas had a significant impact on the shattering of my heteronormative lens forever. (And no matter how much pain the ship brought over the years I will always be grateful for that reason)

So yeah. This acey/straighty straighty had major 👀👀👀👀👀 at jenmish chemistry from their first ep. I was onboard the cockles train by their first hellatus.

Anyone who doesn't see the insane chemistry was just sticking their heads in the sand for the last 12 years imo.

amazing shfsdh i love hearing all your origin stories!!

'stage chemistry' anon came back as well but it's a bit long and has a minor buffy spoiler in it (tea anon is watching for the first time and has somehow managed to avoid a lot of big spoilers hfsdhfhsf) i'm putting it under the cut!

'stage chemistry' anon here! With years! I got here with years! For starters, i am not american and while i'm not straight i didn't know abt bisexuality until Willow in Buffy. So, i see a few epis of spn on tv, think scarecrow or hookman and i like horror and when i get my own laptop i search for the show. It's on it's fourth season at the time i start watching, i believe. Anyway, i really like the show, could've done with less bro drama but whatever. Castiel happens, so cool! I put the chemistry into the box of 'they're such great scene partners!'. Siren episode happens, i raise my eyebrows but when it comes to the brother aspect of it i want to bleach my brain. (i know people have tried to explain it away and it's a good epi for proof that dean is bi but i still can't get past of the implication that he has hots for his brother, just no) so i delete that epi from my memory. Ok, season 5 is sooo good and i'm watching as epis come in and i actually search for youtube content, see J2 goofing around and a few fan vids, but i still remain GA. Then there's the heaven epi with implications that Sam and Dean share heaven and again, just no. But overall amazing season and finale for the series. And then there's season 6. Why is there season 6? is my question. But i stick by it. There's some stupid jokes abt Castiel and Dean. I don't like them joking abt it, cause it feels like making jokes on the expense of gay people, but okay. 6x20 happens. Ooh, he, umm, loves him? But the betrayal is so awful. Cause it isn't just Cas betraying Dean, it felt like the show was betraying the audience. It was all so one-sided and unexpected. I still went to season 7, cause i wanted to see Misha as the big evil of the season. And then he dies in second episode. I stop watching live. I still binge a few epis in a row at some points but they lose me completely when Bobby dies. Then i see some comments abt how Cas has come back on the site i had been watching on and went to see and he came back! Dean keeping his coat was another eye-brow moment. But then they left him. Anyway, watched the epis i hadn't seen and was exited for s8. No Cas. By episode 2 i believe Dean had killed him or smth (cause of how cagy he was and how much it effected him). I stop watching again, but can't resist for long. Dean refuses to leave him behind and i'm like 'when did you start loving him back?' and then, oh man, that epi when he comes back. On one hand i wanted Dean to dream abt him like that, on the other, i wanted him back for real. I guess i had started 'shipping' them gradually, but i had no idea wtf shipping is at the time. Still very GA. The crypt scene comes along, i gotta watch away cause, you should know, i'm not into actual 'i-love-yous' and melodrama. I like to think abt it and create scenarios of my own, but i get bored seeing it in shows. I like it a lot more when it's shown in actions and veiled a little, creates more suspense. Anyway, they're family. I had thought season finale is gonna be Cas breaking free but i guess he's sidelined again, even though his story in season 8 was the most interesting part of it for me. (i thought the tablets and closing hell was so stupid, you had peace and all, why go around poking with a stick?) From then on, i wasn't watching live anymore. I checked in a few times a year and binged several epis in a row. Then comes season 11. I start watching live again and i go to Youtube again, watch a few crack vids, watch a few destiel vids, watch sdcc panels. Castiel says yes to Lucifer and i'm like wtf i need a new episode right now! I need more content! And then i come to Tumblr. I peak around, block a nasty bronly, curate my dash. I read a beautiful meta abt Dean being bi and everything clicks into place. They are in love! So that's the story of how i started shipping destiel. But cockles, just, I started to actually watch the panels. I saw a few gifs on my dash, I saw posts abt polyamory. I still tried to stay away from the cast opinions and stuff, i've never, never been interested in actors' lives. But they continued to lure

me in. Their panels are hilarious and you can see they really care for each other. Once you get past Jensen's grumpy man act and once you get past the performance Misha constantly puts on, you start to understand them a little bit. Most things can be explained away by them just joking around and being entertainers. It's all the tiny things put together. It's the things you know are not for audience. I slipped in casually, just observing. I still don't have a 'need' to know, i don't ship them as far as shipping goes. I just take them as they are. They are so sweet on each other. I love to see that. They are also dirty-minded as fuck. Especially with each other. And then there was 'Mish. Dee.' What else am i to think of that? I just hope they're happy and i love seeing them together because they love being together. No matter what their relationship happens to be. long story short: i blame Youtube and Tumblr and the hivemind that is fandom. and Andrew Dabb for making Cas say yes to Lucifer.

absolutely amazing thank you for sharing sfjhjsdfs

[im-whatchamccallit]

You Confess While Drunk//ATEEZ

(A/N: I’ve been binge watching anything and everything NCT related for the past few days. Someone save me 😭 Also, this is super unedited because it’s so L O N G and I’m exhausted lol)

Hongjoong

Hongjoong didn’t stop you from taking another swig from the bottle of vodka you had saved from your birthday party over a month ago, he also didn’t stop you from lying your head in his lap as you sobbed loudly on your sofa. Why? Because once he stopped you, what could he possibly do?

Your boyfriend of a year cheated on you and you made the hard decision of breaking up with him, leaving you in a position you’ve been desperately avoiding for so long. You hated being lonely, you dreaded it, being left with the harsh thoughts that you were unwanted, unlovable and, based on the relationships you’ve had in the past 3 years, those thoughts were growing true.

But Hongjoong knew you and your thoughts were wrong. You were in the wrong for crying over someone that didn’t deserve you, and your thoughts were just years of anxiety that built up and finally found a way to consume you. His heart broke every time he found himself in this position: stroking your hair as you drunkenly questioned him on why you couldn’t find the perfect guy. He hated it. But you were slowly starting to hate him more.

But not really. You were only growing more desperate for him.

You used your free hand to hold yourself up and glared at him through your tears, your eyes puffy and red as you sniffled, setting the half empty bottle onto the ground.

“This is all your fault!” Hongjoong stared at you with wide eyes, prepared to retaliate but you continued on your tirade.

“I’ve been waiting for you for so long! And you just ignore me, and treat me like I’m just your best friend, when we both know we’re more than that!” A choked sob escaped your lips as you rested your forehead against his shoulder, knowing you were too emotional and drunk to be doing this, but you couldn’t stop it.

“You say you hate seeing me like this, but you never take the hints that I give you and I…. I just want you to love me the way I love you.”

This situation was unusual for Hongjoong, usually having at least something to say to ease your dejection. But he was silent. The real reason behind your disdain started and continued because of him, more tears spilling from you than usual as you both took in the fact that you were finally honest with your emotions, with Hongjoong, and yourself.

He didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms around you, taking in the moment and your words, his heart aching with each beat as he tried to figure out how you haven’t noticed him being by your side all these years, aiding you through each break up and rebound as if it were nothing. Giving you overall care and companionship was his own silent confession. You both so oblivious to each other’s advances, yet so obvious about your love for one another.

Seonghwa Seonghwa was not holding back his anger as he held you by the arm, practically dragging your drunken form from the restaurant as you squirmed in his grasp, your free arm swinging at him in an attempt to release yourself.

“Get OFF, you fucking nerd.” You groaned, eyes glancing to the sweater vest he wore and chuckling to yourself. He really did dress like a dad sometimes.

He ignored you as he made his way to his car, placing you in front of the hood to balance yourself so that he no longer had to hold you. His gaze was fierce, piercing into your soul as he tried to determine where he should start in explaining how you ruined this night.

You were the one who invited all of your mutual friend’s out to dinner, saying you missed the get-togethers you had, only to order five cocktails and swear at your former roommate and high school friend, Miyeon. Seonghwa didn’t know what had gotten into you, barking out insults and telling her to keep her hands away from him, his only option to drag you out before it escalated into something violent. And what seemed like a happy reunion turned into an utter disaster, and he was pissed.

“Can you explain to me what the hell you were doing back there?” He asked, trying to sound calm but his heavy breathing and burning stare were a dead giveaway to his rage.

You ignored it though, matching his fury with your own as you leaned against his vehicle, glaring at him as if you were intimidating, but really looked even more drunk than you truly were.

“Don’t get mad at me! She knows what she did wrong! She should be the one getting yelled at!”

“She’s not the one that got drunk and tried to attack you!”

“But she’s the one that kept touching you knowing I called dibs!”

He stared at you as if you were an absolute idiot, or psychopath at that, his hands raking through his hair as he tried to make sense of your behavior.

“’Dibs’? What are you, five?”

“I told her in high school that I wanted you, and she even asked me when I texted her the other day if I still had a thing for you and I said yes! Then she sits there and touches you, and you’re laughing with her like she’s the best thing in the world! Well, why don’t you do that with me?”

Your rambling swirled in his head, his brain picking it apart before a simple conclusion was made: you were jealous. And as much as Seonghwa wanted to remain upset with you, he found the situation suddenly amusing, holding back a smirk as he approached you.

“So you got jealous of her and decided it’d be smart to act out in public?” You only rolled your eyes to look away from him, gasping at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger grasping your chin, turning your head to face him, his eyes swimming with amusement.

“I could laugh with you like that, especially knowing we feel the same about each other, but you’re gonna have to learn to behave.” The words alone made you gulp, a breath you didn’t realize you were holding escaping your lips as he finally released you, stepping back with a wide smile.

“Let’s go apologize and tell her I’m taken.”

Yunho

The boys looked up from ‘Harry Potter’ playing on their television as the front door opened, eyes falling out Yunho carrying you bridal style through the living room. You didn’t look alive, but the way your face scrunched in annoyance of being moved around was enough proof you weren’t dead, but that still didn’t explain why the giant brought you back to the dorm of all places.

“They drank too much at their office party and asked me to pick them up. And they wouldn’t stop whining when I said I was taking them home so I just brought them here for the night.” His explanation was wordy, Seonghwa sighing in exasperation as he rubbed his temples before looking to the younger male.

“You were drinking too, weren’t you?”

“N-no! I swear!” Yunho said in a panic, not enjoying the way their eyes bore into him.

They had planned to have a movie night, finally having some time to relax now that their tour was over, and as much as they adored you, you were ruining this night for them.

“I’m just going to put them in my bed and I’ll come back. I promise.” Yunho rushed out, San calling out a loud ‘hurry up’ as the older boy eased further into the dorm.

He easily found his bedroom, trying to make as little noise and movements as possible to keep you asleep, but you weren’t asleep. You felt your body press onto cold sheets before a thick blanket covered your body, your hand reaching for the one that was attempting to tuck you in.

“Please stay with me.” You murmured, Yunho conflicted as to what to do.

He didn’t want to leave you, but he already kept his promise to the boys, his body growing hot as the gears turned in his head for who he had to be there for. But as soon as your hooded eyes opened, staring into his with a cute and desperate gaze, the boys were an afterthought. Yunho hastily got beneath the blankets, your body moving further into his warmth as your arms wrapped around his torso, slowly but surely preparing yourself for sleep.

“Why did you want me to stay with you so badly?” The vibrations from his chest made you stir but your eyes remained closed, honestly and absentmindedly responding to him.

“I always want you with me, being in love makes you that way. But, even if it’s not romantic, that’s fine. I just need you by my side.”

A strange flutter emerged from his chest, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip to hide his smile. Your words were so simple yet made his body shiver with excitement, knowing that you wanted him in the same way he wanted you, or at least from what he interpreted from this moment.

His lips gently pressed to your forehead, your head tilting back as you tried to find his lips with yours, both of you so close until the bedroom door slammed open, San rushing in and standing above you both with a stern look.

“I told you to hurry.” He said while grabbing the tall boy’s arm, yanking him from beneath his blanket to drag him to the living room.

Yunho was about to protest that you needed him to stay with you, but you were sound asleep, Yunho no longer having an excuse for the night.

Yeosang

“I’m so sorry for the trouble that was caused tonight.” Yeosang apologized to each of your parents once more, bowing profusely whilst still holding you in his arms, an arm slung around your waist as your own draped over his neck, your eyes shut as you wanted to do nothing more than sleep.

Your parents invited you both to dinner, mainly because they missed Yeosang, but also enjoyed the fact you both were still close friends, prompting them to also invite Yeosang’s parents in order to reminisce. And despite you and Yeosang being so close, friends is all they assumed you’d ever be, causing them to question when you’ll find someone of your own, not realizing that that someone was your childhood best friend. One day, at least. You tried to ignore their comments by drowning yourself in various glasses of white wine, especially when they began to bring up the possibility of Yeosang dating other people, losing track of how many cups you had until you were nearly blackout drunk.

And here you were, slurring your speech as you made a slightly incoherent rant while dangling loosely from the poor boy’s arms, a quick goodbye leaving him as he “carried” you to his car. Once settled into his seat, he immediately started heading towards your apartment, listening to you groan at his side with your eyes still clamped shut.

“They want me to find someone so badly but they haven’t even considered that Yeosang might be good for me.” You grumbled, the first intelligible thing you’ve said in the past hour.

A smirk came onto his face hearing you speak about him as if he wasn’t the one driving you home, playing along and pretending he was some inner thought of yours.

“Really? What do you like about Yeosang?”

“He’s so pretty! And smart! And he does this really cute laugh whenever I try to talk to him about music but mess up the terms. He’s always been so nice to me too, even though I was a weirdo in middle school, but he didn’t mind. He always loved me for who I was.” You spoke with a soft smile, eyes still shut as your head pressed to the window, and a gentle smile on Yeosang’s own face before you started speaking again.

“But my parents are right. Yeosang is so great that he’ll find someone, and they’ll be a million times better than me and a million percent made for him and I can’t do anything about it.”

The mood grew melancholy, Yeosang ignoring your words to mentally argue with you, knowing you probably were drifting in and out of consciousness at this point and wouldn’t process a word he said, his face growing hot with frustration. You knew how much he loved you, but were too blind to see that he was in love with you. It was ironic, and a very (Y/n) thing to do, one of the things he loved about you. Another smile gracing his features as he peered over to you, watching you lazily shift in your seat to get comfortable. He couldn’t think of anyone in his life that would be a million percent perfect for him than you.

San

Although San was an idol, he never passed up your invitations to parties on your college campus, wearing clothes that were comfortable and helped him keep a low profile. But, being with you, there was no such thing as a low profile. Your clothes were flashy and personality loud and bubbly, everyone perking up at your presence once you arrived to the large fraternity house.

San spent the night dancing and drinking, mingling with a few people who were probably too out of it to remember who he was, which was good enough for him. You, on the other hand, went from showing off your bartending skills in the kitchen to pounding back shots with your “customers”, growing louder and giggly as you sloppily poured more. One of San’s biggest concerns was that you were a people pleaser, incapable of saying no and shyly agreeing to go along with whatever scheme they had in order to not have anyone hate you. It was a dangerous flaw you had in your normal life, and he was almost scared to think about what would happen now that you were extremely drunk.

He stepped away from the girl rambling about her boyfriend ditching her that night, heading towards the kitchen to see you lying on a counter, a collection of guys and a few girls finding the other ingredients they needed for body shots. If San knew you properly, he knew you weren’t comfortable at all. It was as if in an instant, you were being lifted and set on your unstable feet, listening to the outraged protest of the group that were prepping you as San guided you towards the more populated area of the house, making sure they didn’t follow you before pulling you close, his mouth by your ear as he swayed you both to the loud and upbeat music.

“Don’t go off with random people like that.” He muttered, finally moving away to see your face.

You could barely keep your eyes open but still managed to look at him in utter adoration, a lazy smile settling on your face.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, just stay by my side for the rest of the night, okay?” You nodded and continued to move your body with his, absentmindedly tangling your fingers together while keeping your eyes trained on him, his body shifting uncomfortably at your gaze before looking back at you.

Maybe you were misinterpreting the situation, but he was like some knight in your eyes. Rescuing you from a situation where you don’t remembering saying yes and couldn’t bring yourself to say no. He was always like this, protecting you and holding you close when he felt as if you were in danger. You probably were just projecting your own feelings but maybe, just maybe…

“I love you, San” You both froze at your words, his eyes wide as he began to process what you said.

“I- nevermind. Forget I said anything.” You muttered, averting your gaze as you mentally slapped yourself.

Your confession was so childish yet effective, San mentally battling with himself over if his next move would be wise or not. You were clearly drunk, but his body thought it was the right thing to do, his brain not having time to decipher what was going on before he pressed his lips to yours, hungrily but gently moving them in unison as he held your body close to his, the relief of waiting years to do this washing over both of you as you drowned in the kiss. Much to your dismay, he pulled away, a small but audible ‘I love you too’ leaving his lips in case his actions weren’t loud enough.

Mingi

Mingi sat timidly on his bed hiding away from you, knowing you were still in the living room consuming your sixth beer. Or was it seven now? He couldn’t keep up at this point, but Mingi knew how you were when you were drunk. You were playful yet so rough, hitting him with the strength of a body builder despite your lighthearted behavior. But for some reason, you were rougher with him than others. He had a bruise forming on his shoulder where you punched him earlier after telling a joke.

So, he hid away, not wanting to face another punch or slap on the arm from someone who couldn’t control their own strength but, as he heard the bedroom door open with a whiny ‘Mingi’, he couldn’t help but cower away.

“Why did you leave me?” Your face appeared from the door, a bright blush on your cheeks as you pouted at him.

He sat upright to appear as if he wasn’t intimidated by you, despite the fact you waddled towards him cutely, plopping at his side and resting your head on his shoulder.

“I just needed some space.” He admitted, watching as you looked up at him with doe-like eyes.

“Did I do something wrong? Ooh! Did you wanna play hide and seek? You always loved hide and seek!” He flinched as your pitifulness returned to its original aggression, your fist making contact with his already aching arm before finally putting a stop to it.

You were a bit out of it as you watched him grab both your fist in his hands, turning to face you with a serious, but almost pleading, look.

“I know you’re not doing it on purpose, but your hits hurt. A-and I notice you’re rougher with me when you’re drunk, and I just want you to stop.” He confessed, your eyes dull from your intoxication but he could still make out the glimmer of sadness in them as you looked away.

“I just don’t know how to express my emotions properly.” Although Mingi’s wish for you to be gentle came true, it was almost scary not seeing your usual drunken grin.

“Just use your words.” He explained, waiting patiently as you slowly looked up to him, uncurling your fist until your palms rested in his.

“I like you. And, whenever I’m near you, I feel like an elementary student with their crush. Because when girls play with boys like that, it means they like them, right?” You could feel your face burning at the comparison, realizing you were ridiculous for your actions.

It was a strange sensation flowing through Mingi. It wasn’t embarrassment but he couldn’t bring himself to look at you, nor was it fear as his mind raced with endless possibilities to reciprocate your feelings. He was at a loss for words though, unsure of what he should say or do to get rid of the sudden panic in your eyes as you realized what you’d done.

As you went to pull away, Mingi gently pulled your arms until you fell into him, your head colliding with his chest as he held you, letting out a content sigh. It wasn’t the first way he planned on accepting your feelings, but it was the most appropriate for the moment.

Wooyoung

“Fucking fuck fuckity fuck,” You groaned as you slowly pushed yourself up from the mattress, your eyes squinting at the sun pouring in and all you wanted to do was die.

You shouldn’t have drank so much last night. Speaking of last night, you barely remembered what happened at all, or how you got home.

“Oh, great! You’re up!” You winced at Wooyoung’s booming voice, reaching out to slap him as you buried your head beneath your duvet.

“Why are you here?”

“I brought you home, silly.” He teased, grabbing the blanket from your grasp so you could see his grinning face.

“And based on that question, I’m guessing you don’t remember last night at all. Which is why I started recording you after your eight shot.”

Wooyoung grabbed his phone, sliding through various videos before finding the one he’s been replaying since 1AM. He hurriedly positioned himself under the blanket with you, pulling you into his side while pressing play, but the still alone, you leaning forward while standing on stage at the familiar karaoke bar, seemingly screaming into the mic, made your eyes go wide with the realization of what happened that night.

“I wanna do a song!” You slurred into the microphone, the KQ staff cheering you on as you tried to find a song to play, choosing the first one you recognized before straightening your body, the upbeat trot instrumental causing everyone to dance around.

“I just want you to know, this is dedicated to Jung Wooyoung!”

“Jung Wooyoung!” Everyone cheered back, no one seeming to care that they lyrics on the screen went by without you singing along.

“Why Wooyoung?” The man himself instigated from behind the camera, an amused smirk on his face while watching you stumble slightly, moving closer just in case he had to catch you.

He knew how you felt about him, just waiting for the day you finally said it out loud but, if this was as close as he’d get to a confession, he had to make sure you remembered it somehow, and what better way would that be than video documentation?

“Jung Wooyoung is sweet! And nice! And the only man I’ve ever loved! He takes care of me like no other! So, Jung Wooyoung,” You raised your free hand before bringing it down to point at nothing in particular.

“I love you!”

“I love you too!” He called back just before you began singing, laughing hysterically as it was a different song from the one chosen.

Your head was buried in the blanket, face hot with embarrassment as Wooyoung continued to rewind it to you professing your love for him, taunting you in your hungover state.

“This was a great way to start our relationship.”

You could hear the smile in his voice and, although you finally got the relationship you wanted, and finally knew he felt the same as you, you knew no amount of begging would make him delete that video.

Jongho

Idols lived their lives under a microscope, society watching their every move to see their flaws and praise their perfections, even some of their perfections being criticized. It was a fear for most to slip up and do something reckless while in public. But you? You lived recklessly.

You had finally got your first music show win and invited all of the backup dancers and staff from KQ to join you for a celebration at a nearby bar, a few of the Ateez boys joining, more specifically Jongho. You were only recently of drinking age but he was with you the night of your birthday a month ago, watching you down ten shots easily before they hit you at once, his hands holding your hair back as you puked into a nearby trashcan. He wasn’t much of a drinker himself, so tonight he was playing the role of your guardian angel.

But you proved to be more of a challenge than he thought. You were dancing on tables while playfully beginning a strip tease, Jongho grabbing you and taking you from the intoxicated crowd. You were running off to talk to strangers, Jongho apologizing prolifically to the bar patrons. You were a walking tornado in his eyes. Yet for some reason, he loved you as is, even now as you laid in the booth with your face pressed to the table, signaling it was time for you both to go.

Everything from then was a blur, your eyes opening to see you were lying in bed, out of your original clothing and in your usual pajamas, a faint light from beside you causing to squint as it made the dizziness you felt worse. A silhouette appeared before turning the light off, slowly approaching you as you laid back in the bed, exhausted and disoriented.

“Hey. You alright?” Jongho’s familiar voice made you look up to him with a grin, something cotton-like and  wet touching your cheek.

“I’m just trying to get your makeup off so you can sleep.” He commented, paying close attention to make sure he didn’t miss a spot.

Once he finally wiped over your lips, you smirked playfully at him.

“Did you undress me too?” A faint pink dusted his face, glad he didn’t turn on the lights in your bedroom or else you’d see how flustered he was.

“Y-yeah. I thought you’d be more comfortable in that.”

“Did you like what you saw?” The way he froze made you laugh out loud, tossing your head back before placing a hand on the crown of his head.

“I’m kidding, but thank you. You’re always so sweet to me.” You commented, shutting your eyes and he began to scrub away your eyes shadow.

“What else are friends for?” He muttered, your lips pursing into a thin line.

“Friends keep you from doing dumb things when you drink. But boyfriends help you take off your makeup after a long day.” When he finally removed the makeup covered towelette from your eyes, you stared him down with no hesitation. You were just as bold drunk as you were sober.

Jongho swallowed hard as he struggled to find a response.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, I want you to be my boyfriend.” You said plainly, your eyes trying hard to focus and meet his wide ones, your stomach turning with butterflies.

He was always so cute to you. Sure, he was mature and manly, but the way he squirmed under your bold statements, even simple compliments, made your heart beat faster, a brief moment of joy filling you as you daydreamed of the days you could be that open with him, shying away because of how cheesy you are rather than being the friend that unexpectedly hits on him. You dreamt of that day for years. But now was the only time you could think to act.

Jongho didn’t know what to say, clearing his throat as he stood, eyes hard while gaining the courage to respond.

“You should probably confess when you’re completely sober.”

“You’re right. I’m not sober at all, Jongho. Just a really competent drunk.” Your tone was sarcastic.

For a split second, he almost believed you were just tipsy, aware of everything you were doing and saying. But as he went to the bathroom to dispose of the wetwipe, he returned to you completely out cold, snoring like a bear in hibernation, his feelings swirling into confusion as he no longer knew what to believe.

[pagingevilspawn]

The Way I Loved You

hey there! i wrote this on Friday, but i heard the song “The Way I Loved You” for the first time on Thursday and immediately thought of jolex. When i listen to this song the on Friday after the whole jo and jackson thing i knew that i HAD to use this song. idk if anyone has used this song already, but i hope not lol. this is pretty short but i wrote it really quickly lol. and i just realized that @odd-birds-and-booksellers has a similar thing with a photograph in one of her stories, so i’m sorry about that, it was an accident.  

on a side note... happy bday to me hehe. i wanted to post a fluffy one-shot, but i’m too lazy to finish writing it. 

~*~

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it's like

I couldn't ask for anything better

In everybody's eyes, Jackson Avery seemed like the perfect guy, especially for her. He was funny, smart, caring, and handsome as hell. He was pretty perfect, there was no way she could deny that. He told her she was beautiful, how brilliant she was, and he held her and whispered sweet nothings in her ear in the morning while the sun cast gentle glows on them through the window. 

 He always somehow knew the right thing to say, but it wasn’t always what she wanted to hear. Sometimes she didn’t want to hear she was amazing and she had no reason to be worried. Sometimes she just wanted to hear ‘shut up, get over it’ followed by an I love you and a quick peck on the lips.

 He was every girl’s dream; he just wasn’t hers. No matter how much she liked him or wished he was, he wasn’t. 

 He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says, you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine   

 He was such a gentleman. He complimented her, showed her off proudly to his richy-rich family, but not like a prize. He was proud to call her his girlfriend. He drank in the sight of her in tight dresses and boring scrubs like she was the last glass of water on a scalding hot day. 

He never makes her feel second best. 

He was falling, but she was still on ground, content with how she was. She wasn’t soaring in the clouds like she had been once before. She was at peace with standing on the concrete streets below her feet. 

But I miss screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

You're so in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you 

 She misses the rush. The rush of fighting. The rush of getting so mad at someone that you wanted to just punch them, but kiss them all at the same time. 

She misses him getting agitated over stupid things. She misses seeing the lust in his eyes when he was mad at her. She misses the angry sex. She misses feeling the thousands of emotions flowing through her body when they kissed, even if it was just a simple brush of the lips. 

She misses him acting crazy over a cut she got on her knee when she tripped, or when she complained about accidentally slicing her finger when she attempted to use a knife. He always hated to see her hurt. 

 How ironic, considering he was the one who hurt her the most.  

 Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you 

 She misses how they could just yell at each other. For hours, days. They could yell at each other about their crappy surgeries or patients that deserved better than the cards they were dealt. They could take out their anger on each other, trusting that it wouldn’t affect them. And it didn’t. 

She misses the way he looked at her like she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, unable to grasp that fact that she was his. She misses that crooked smile that seemed to brighten her day, no matter how bad it previously was. 

She misses how she could go from wanting to yell at him to holding him in a matter of seconds. She misses feeling like she had no control over herself whenever she was around him. 

She misses him and the way he made her feel. 

 He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother

Talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable 

 When she asks for time alone, he doesn’t push her. When she is feeling down, on the brink of another episode, he lets her lay in bed and doesn’t bother her. And if she wanted him to get pizza in the middle of the night, he’s ordering it before she even needs to ask twice. 

He never left her on read or ignored her voicemails. She never needed to call or text him twice for an answer about their upcoming date. 

She liked being with him. She felt safe, knowing that he wouldn’t hurt her. She liked knowing that somebody loved her, even if she was currently only capable of saying she liked him a great deal. 

 But I miss screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

You're so in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you 

 She misses how in the middle of arguments he would pull her into a searing kiss, pouring all of his emotion into it. She could feel them best then, his emotions. She could tell by the way his kisses were needy and frantic as he pressed his lips to her neck, sometimes biting just a little too hard on her sweet spot, a bit of both pleasure and pain. 

She misses seeing the look on his face when he would catch guys at the bar staring at her, trying to deny that he was jealous.

She even misses how insane he acted sometimes, whether it be making animal noises at couples going at it, or how he beat up DeLuca when he thought the man was taking advantage of her.

She misses being able to look at him and everything seemed alright, that even though people were dying and the world was heating up, as long as she had him, she felt okay.

 Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you  

 Jackson doesn’t like to argue much. He doesn’t really yell. He’s good at expressing his emotions and talking about them. He doesn’t bury them like her, but at times she wishes that he did. 

She wishes he knew what it was like to have all these feelings build up inside until they break, shattering everything you worked towards. 

But he makes it better. He helped her talk and now it’s easier. She doesn't feel the need to combust with anger. 

 Sometimes, but not all the time. 

He can't see the smile I'm fakin'

And my heart's not breakin'

'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all

 When she’s at Meredith’s she is happy. It had been a while since he had left, more than a year actually. And she was getting to be fully okay. She still smiled, but it wasn’t the full-blown grin that could once light up an entire room. She’s back to laughing more now, but it’s not the same one that would come out when he said something stupid and she was belly-laughing as tears streamed down her face. But she could easily say that she was okay. She was doing well. She was happy.  

It was when she wandered into the hallway and started randomly opening drawers, looking for a pen to write down an idea she had that she came across a photo Meredith has shoved in her drawers. It was of him. His son was on his left knee, while Izzie sat next to him, their daughter on her right knee. They were smiling, his looking awkward because he tried to smile straight and not crooked, but he was smiling nonetheless. It looks to be a selfie of some sort, the woman holding the camera flashing a dazzling smile. 

They look so happy. She's glad that he’s happy, but she’s jealous. She hadn’t smiled that wide in a long time. 

When she heads back down the stairs she plasters on a smile, knowing that nobody would be able to see through it. She didn’t really feel anything, all she really felt was numb.  

It’s selfish, but she wishes she was the one in the photo instead of the blonde.

 And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated

Got away by some mistake and now

 He drove her crazy. She wanted to smack him upside every second of the day. He made her mad and he hurt her, but at the same time she was only able to see him as perfect. He was so screwed up, but it fit so perfectly alongside her. His crazy fit her crazy. 

He always drove her mad. But she could never get enough of him. She could never get enough of the feeling of his skin on hers, the taste of his lips, the smell of his clothes, she never got tired of hearing his voice and the sound of his laugh. It was like she was constantly high on him. 

If only he had talked to her, maybe things wouldn’t be this way. 

 I'll be screamin' and fightin'

And kissin' in the rain

It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you  

 She wants to fight with him one more time. It’s been a long time since he left. Over two years. And she’s loved again. The perfect man loves her, and she can truthfully and whole-heartedly say that she loves him. He took her broken heart and pieced it back together. But the wounds were still there.  

But she wants to fight with him again. She wants one more chance to call him a stupid moron. She wants to be arguing with him late into the night about who’s a better character on that latest TV show they were binging. 

She wants to shove him like she did before the storm, finding some way to exert her anger. 

She wants him to pull her into a supply closet while the rain pounds on the window as he tells her that he loves her, kissing her with a passion she had never experienced before.

 Breakin' down and comin' undone

It's a roller-coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you  

 She remembers what it was like to love him so much it was like she couldn’t breathe. That he was the oxygen she desperately needed to survive. She remembers what it was like, the fear, the longing, the need. It was all there. 

She never knew then how much this man would affect her. 

She never knew that feeling all of those things was possible.

 And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you  

 Jackson Avery was perfect, and she loved Jackson Avery. 

But he wasn’t perfect for her. 

Because the only person perfect for Jo Wilson was Alex Karev. 

It was a shame, the life they could’ve lived if only he had answered her calls.

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 20

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), all the fun stuff that comes with smut lol, fluff, I think that’s about it!

Word Count: 1881

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERSLIST***

You stood in the kitchen, pulling tonight's chicken from the oven, and placing it on the counter. You had gotten home from California pretty early, and as soon as you got home Jensen said he had to go and take care of some things in town. 

That gave you some time to get a home cooked meal in the oven and cooked before he was due to arrive home. This was something you felt  you didn't really do enough for him, not in the way that you felt you should, not really in the way you feel he deserves, especially with it being Christmas Eve. You thought it might be nice to have a good home cooked meal for him to come home to for once.

While the chicken was cooking you had cleaned the entire house, making it perfect and spotless for him. Now that the chicken was done you plugged in the Christmas tree he had wanted to decorate so badly, then finished the sides to go with your meal. 

For the first time since you had moved into this house, it felt like a home. It was clean, there was a fresh dinner being put together, and the Christmas tree was shining in the corner. Everything felt perfect.

Everything was finished just as the sun went down behind the trees, and you heard Jensen coming through the front door. You heard a "wow" come from his lips as he made his way through the house, and you had to bite your lip to hide the proud smirk that he'd noticed your work while he was away.

"Baby? Where are you?" you heard him call from the living room. 

"In the kitchen!" you yelled back. 

You could hear his heavy footsteps making his way closer to the kitchen before he stopped right behind you. You could literally feel the heat radiating off his strong body. He was so close to you, before he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly to his chest before placing a soft kiss on the top of your forehead. 

"Sweetheart, you didn’t have to do all of this!" he said, looking down at the small feast you had created for the two of you, eyes wide and mouth opened slightly.

Turning around in his arms, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his lips closer to yours, and giving him a soft kiss before pulling away. 

"I thought we could use some food that wasn't processed, or come from some fast food place. We've eaten out all weekend." 

You ran your hand across his thick chest and watched the shiver leave his body as he pressed closer to you.

"You know I don't deserve you don't you." he said, holding onto you. His green eyes were boring into yours, like he was trying to transfer all the things he was feeling that he couldn't say to you. 

"Actually I'd say that was the other way around. I really don't deserve you." you tell him, putting your head against his shoulder, feeling his arms tighten around you.

"That's bull.You're everything I've ever wanted, don't you forget it either." he said, kissing the top of your hair. 

After the two of you had eaten, Jensen wanted to help you clean up the kitchen. He refused to let you do it alone. He complimented  you over and over again, barely even letting go of your hand while the two of you ate, like he just wanted more than anything to be closer to you.

"Why don't you go and get a shower sweetheart, and I'll go and set up everything in the living room, and we'll binge watch (your favorite show) and cuddle." he said, nuzzling into your neck,making a warm heat pool through you. 

Giving him a quick peck on the lips, you made your way to the shower, and as quickly as possible did what you needed to do, pulling your hair up into a messy bun, and drying and dressing quickly. This is what you wanted more than anything. To be alone, wrapped safely in Jensen's arms. Just the two of you.

When you stepped down into the living room all the lights were off, the Christmas tree was lit, and Netflix was paused, and waiting for you. Jensen had obviously jumped in the guest shower and gotten into his PJ's too. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded by pillows and blankets,waiting for you with a bottle of wine on ice, and two empty wine glasses. 

When he heard you come in, he smiled at you and patted the floor next to him. No matter how many times you saw that smile it took your breath away. Staggering over to where he was waiting, you sat  as close to him as possible, watching him pour wine into the glasses. He handed you one and pulled you as closely to him as possible,reaching over and turning on the TV, but keeping the volume low. 

"I got something for you." he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small black box from his pocket with a little red bow on it. 

"Oh Jensen, you shouldn't have gotten me anything! I didn't get to go to get you anything." you tell him as he takes the box ,and places it in your hands, pulling you tight to his chest. 

"You've already given me everything sweetheart. Some things I didn't even know I needed. I'm sorry I wasn't there when I should have been, but I'm going to make it up to you now. I love you so much." 

He pulled your lips to his in a soft, yet passion filled kiss. 

"Open it!!" he said, bouncing in his spot, looking more childish and cute than a grown man should ever have the right to. 

Pulling the little red ribbon tied up around the box, you opened it slowly. Opening it you saw the most beautiful victorian wedding set you had ever seen. Your jaw hit the floor.You loved vintage things. Especially the Victoria error. You didn't think he knew.

You never had a wedding ring. Your wedding was so untraditional, and you never paid it any attention until now. A tear fell from your eyes, and he gently wiped it away, drawing your attention back to him. 

"Oh Jensen it's gorgeous!" Was all you could stagger out, your emotions choking you. 

He gave you a soft smile, brushing the loose hair out of your face. 

"It's nothing compared to you." 

Pulling you into yet another passion filled kiss, he slipped the ring from the box and took your left hand, sliding the ring onto your finger. 

He turned your hand over in his hand,looking at your rings on your finger. You only just noticed that he wore a solid gold band on his left hand as well, something he hadn't done since he had gotten married to you. 

His lips were on you again in an instant, this time hungry. He licked your lower lip, begging for entrance which you happily granted. You wanted nothing more than to feel him. To be close to him.

Laying you down on the makeshift bed he had made on the floor his hands slowly started to roam your body. His mouth never leaves yours as his hands made little trails over your skin. 

He ran  his hand up your shirt feeling the soft skin of your sides and stomach, before coming in contact with your bare breast, a moan falling from both your lips. His fingers were gently massaging and playing with the sensitive flesh of your nipples.

"I need you sweetheart. I want to make love to you."

Your voice was caught in your throat. You couldn't answer, and to be honest he didn't really give you much time to do so before his mouth was on yours again in a heated, passionate kiss. breaking it to shed the two of you from your shirts.  He made quick work of shedding his bottom layers, then yours, kissing a trail all the way to your hips then back up to your breast. Taking them in your mouth one by one, his tongue lightly traced the peaks before moving back down your stomach. Your body felt like it was on fire, arching into him.

Jensen kissed you down to your knees, then back up again, leaving little kisses on the inside of your thighs. When he saw you were completely lost in what he was doing to your body, eyes closed, head back he made a gentle trail with his tongue through your already wet folds,causing a gasp to fall from your mouth. 

Looking up at you, you still had your eyes closed, so he again started his assault on your clit. His tongue lapping at your center like a man starved, increasing speed, then gently again,his sinful mouth driving you closer and closer to the edge.

You could feel the heat begin to pool in your lower belly, the coil tightening in your lower stomach quickly ready to snap. Then he added two of his long, thick digits, pumping them slowly into you. 

That was it, that was all it took for you to fall to pieces around him, your vision spotting in front of you, a deep gasp falling from your lips as you pulsed around his fingers. 

He gently slowed his ministrations until you came completely down from your high. His other hand was stroking his hard length. 

Slowly, he withdrew his fingers from you, you whimpered at the loss of contact, but he didn't leave you empty long, sliding his thick length into you while you were still a little high from your orgasm.

You moaned at the stretch he had created in you pumping himself into you slowly,never pulling out all the way, grinding your bodies against each other. 

His name fell from your lips  as he continued to drive both of you closer and closer to your release. 

"Your so beautiful sweetheart." he mumbled through moans, kissing you deeply as he continued to drive your bodies together. You could feel the coil tighten again in your lower belly.

"Jensen… I'm close...'' 

He picked up his pace just a little, still keeping your bodies held close together. 

"I know sweetheart, me too." 

Sliding his hand down between your two bodies he slowly started to circle your clit with his fingers in time with his thrust. Before you knew what was happening you were falling over the edge again, his name a prayer on your lips. You felt for a moment like you were going to pass out as you felt him spill himself deep inside of you, kissing your neck and grunting deeply.

Finally when both of your bodies had stilled, Jensen slowly removed himself from you, and pulled you closer to him, laying your head on his chest as his strong arms wrapped around you. 

"I love you so much Y/N" he said again for what felt like the thousandth time today, but you didn't think you'd ever get tired of hearing it.

"I love you to Jensen."

Both of you drifted off to sleep on your makeshift bed under the light of the christmas tree,Netflix forgotten  in the background.

You didn't ever think Christmas could be this good, or that you'd ever be this happy; yet here you where.

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Tag List: @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​ @deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​

[kiwi-bitchez]

Ahoy-hoy. Yo so I got cheated on and TBH I can't smile. Idk if you're taking requests, but maybe write me a revenge-fuck sort of story? Sorry if you're not taking asks.

Hello! Don’t apologize, my asks are always open!! Thank you for sharing this with me, my heart really goes out to you. I’ve been cheated on before so I know how shitty you must feel. Sending you lots of love and also this fic. Not sure if I really captured the spirit of “revenge fucking” cuz this ended up being kinda #soft… but I hope you like it!

Manual Labor

Coffeeshop!AU / Carpenter!Tom

Word Count: 6.4K

Warnings: smut, the usual, oral, swearing, cheating, ex-boyfriends being shitty, lots of tea

Summary: After being cheated on you can’t seem to see the brighter side of things. That is until a familiar British carpenter comes into your work to fix some things. You bring him tea and things go a little better this time…

Dating in your twenties can be difficult. Everyone is at different stages in their lives, and everyone wants different things. Some people are looking for commitment, others just for hookups. So when you find someone who sticks, who wants the same things as you, it feels really nice.

Well, it feels really nice until they cheat on you after a whole year of dating. You would be foolish to say you thought he had been “the one,” but you really thought the two of you had clicked on a deep level. You were both mature, career-driven, hardworking, and caring people. Right? Well, it seemed so at the time.

But somehow you find yourself buried under seven layers of duvet blanket, bawling your eyes out on a Tuesday afternoon. It had all happened so fast, you hadn’t even had time to be emotional about it until it was all over. You kept running through your head what you had done wrong, what you could have done better.

Thursday rolls around and you realize its about time you show back up at work. Thankfully your boss is a sweetheart and told you to take all the time you needed. You tried to go into work the day after it all went down and ended up crying into someone’s coffee order.

You had cried all your tears and ate all your ice cream, and decided it was about time to rejoin society. Rolling out of bed you throw on your typical work outfit, black jeans and a t-shirt. You look in the mirror and try to splash some cold water on your face to kill the puffiness under your eyes.

Some mascara helped, and a little bit of lipgloss never hurt either. Once you were presentable enough, you make your way over to your job at the local coffee shop. Your coworkers all greet you with big smiles and empathetic hugs. It was obvious what you were going through, but you appreciated their support. You just wished everything would go back to normal.

“I never liked him anyways,” your closest work friend Margret admits, “I always thought you could do so much better.”

“Thanks Marg,” you don’t bother to look up from the pastry labels you were making, trying to signal that you really weren’t in the mood to talk about it.

Everyone kept telling you the same things, “He wasn’t good enough for you,” “You can do so much better,” “Fuck him.” Although you wanted to believe everyone, to be the badass independent woman you thought you were, you couldn’t help but well up with tears every time someone brought him up.

You manage to get through the week. Each day consisting of a little less crying and a little less binge eating, you slowly get back into your regular routine. Well, your regular routine excluding him of course.

It’s a slow afternoon, only a few customers dotted the coffee shop, most on their laptops doing work or having private conversations. You had zoned out, thinking about your schedule for the week, balancing school and work, as you stood behind the register waiting for another lonely customer to come in.

Your hand pressed into your cheek, leaning your weight onto your hand, you mindlessly stared at the wooden floor.

“Excuse me,” a strange accent asks from behind the counter. When had someone come in? Why hadn’t you noticed?

“Is Anna around? I’m the handyman here to fix the countertop,” his voice was like red velvet cake, and brought you right out of your trance.

“Anna’s right in the back, I’ll get her for you,” you answer his question instinctively before taking a moment to recognize the familiar face in front of you. You recall him from a few months ago, he was a carpenter who had come in to do some renovations over the summer.

His name was Tom. That you couldn’t forget. It had been a blistering hot summer day and he had come in to take a look at some part of the shop, something that had needed fixing. He went to the same school as you but worked part-time for a local carpenter.

He had assessed the damage and assured your boss Anna that he could start right away, only needing the rest of the day to fix up what needed mending. He had been wearing a white t-shirt that clung slightly to his body with sweat from the heat. He was good looking and certainly attracted the attention of most people in the vicinity, especially as he worked with the tools from his belt. You couldn’t help but stare for a second.

But only a second. Your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, often spent his time in between classes at the coffee shop visiting you. He always sat at the table closest to the counter so you could talk to him when business was slow. That’s why you stared for only a second.

After around two hours, you decided to go over to him. He had been working tirelessly, and the exhausting heat must have been getting to him.

“You drink coffee?” you ask, causing him to stop drilling at whatever he was fixing.

“I drink tea, darling,” he responds, causing you to notice his thick accent.

“How do you take it?” you blush a little, as his dark brown eyes looked directly into yours as he answered your question. You figured you were just being nice, he was working really hard and looked like he could use a break, that’s all.

You quickly made your way back behind the counter, whipping up a cup of tea and a blueberry muffin that he hadn’t asked for but you were sure he’d appreciate.

“Thanks love,” he said appreciatively as you set it down on the table closest to him.

“On the house,” you smile back at him, “for all your hard work.”

You hadn’t thought too much of the interaction, just a nice gesture you felt like doing. Your boyfriend had thought otherwise, however.

“What the fuck was that?” he hisses at you, barely above a whisper from the other side of the counter.

“What?” you ask back, fully not knowing what he was angry about.

“Were you trying to make me look stupid?” he says a little louder this time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” his tone worried you.

“You’re just gonna flirt with that guy right in front of me, do you think I’m an idiot?” his voice was rising in volume and you were starting to get nervous that the people in the café could hear you.

“Babe, I was just being nice, he’s working really hard,” your voice is back at a whisper, trying to encourage him to do the same.

“No, you always do this, you think you can make me jealous by being a fucking slut and flirting with every guy you see. Stop it, it’s not cute and it doesn’t work y/n,” his tone was abrasive and you could feel the eyes of everyone staring at you. You could feel tears well up in your eyes as his words burned into you.

“It wasn’t like that,” your voice cracked, “I promise it wasn’t like that.”

“Yeah, whatever you say,” he responds loudly and sarcastically as he slams his laptop shut and shoves it in his bag.

“Guess I’ll see you later,” his voice was still sharp.

You watched him stomp out of the small shop, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Tom had mouthed to you as your eyes made their way to him in the doorway.

“It’s okay,” you had mouthed back before running to the break room and begging Margret to cover for you as you cried in the bathroom.

This memory hit you like a ton of bricks as you saw Tom again, standing at the counter. Your ex had always been jealous like that. At the time you thought of it as “protective,” and “loving,” rather than seeing it as “possessive” and “manipulative.”

“She should be right over here,” you say a little slowly, your eyes not leaving his face. You were taking it in, the curve of his jaw and the angle of his smile, the same warm look he had given you all those months ago.

“Hey Anna, the carpenter is here,” you pop your head into the back room.

She shuffles out and greets Tom, shaking his hand quickly before showing him over to the area that needed fixing.

You sit blankly at your register, tending to the few customers who came in, somehow without taking your eyes off of Tom. Seeing him just reminded you of that day, reminded you of how your ex had humiliated you and made you cry, how he had been so rude and controlling.

Seeing Tom made something switch in your brain. Everyone was right. Fuck him. Fuck that guy and fuck what he had done to you. You were done crying over someone who would cheat on you, over someone who clearly didn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved. Everyone who was spewing clichés at you was right. You did deserve better.

Somehow through these thoughts, your hands had taken over while your mind ran in circles. Before you could even realize what you were doing, you were standing in front of Tom with a cup of tea and a blueberry muffin.

“Um,” you stutter out, not entirely sure what you were doing, “If I remember correctly, this is how you take your tea.”

His attention is pulled from the countertop, brown curs slightly pressed to his sweaty forehead, biceps filling out the sleeves of his shirt perfectly. Those perfect brown eyes boring into you once again.

“You remembered,” he said with a genuine smile, “that’s amazing, thanks a bunch love.”

You set the tea down next to him and stare for a second, not wanting the conversation to be over.

“You should hurry back though, if your boyfriend is here again,” he says quietly with a bit of concern.

“Oh,” you were taken aback, the implications of your action hitting you, “Oh, um, he, uh, we… aren’t together anymore. He doesn’t come here.”

“That’s a bit of relief then,” Tom says, putting down his tool belt and picking up the tea to blow on it, “that guy was a bit of a prick if I do say so myself.”

“Yeah,” you laugh a little, looking down at your feet, “bit of a prick.”

“This may be a bit out of line,” he takes a short sip before continuing, “but I didn’t like the way he spoke to you.”

“Not out of line,” you shake your head, “he was being an ass to you too, I’m sorry you were put in that awkward position last time you were here, I wanted to apologize.”

“Don’t apologize for a thing love, you’re much better off without him,” although he was essentially a stranger, his words seemed sincere.

“Ever since he cheated on me I feel like that’s all I hear,” you say with a laugh, your breath hitching in your throat when you realize what you had said. You weren’t really thinking, and this boy made you a little nervous, it had just slipped out.

“Oh, I- I’m sorry to hear that,” he said with a softer voice, “I-”

“Sorry,” you cut him off, “that was weird of me to say, you don’t even know me, sorry I’m like, dumping my personal problems onto you.”

You laughed nervously, wanting to clear the air. He looked at you with genuine sympathy. He had experienced first-hand how much of an ass your ex had been, and you seemed so sweet, remembering his café order and bringing it over to him when you truly didn’t have to.

“Thank you for the tea,” he said, taking another sip, “you smile a little brighter without him around.”

Your cheeks grew hot at his comment and all you could do was grin at him and scurry back to your position at the register. You bury your face in your hands, running through the conversation you just had over and over. You felt so stupid, yet at the same time strangely confident. The way he looked at you, smiled when you smiled, made your heart flutter. Were you imagining this? Was he just being nice?

You kept stealing glances over to where he was working. He would occasionally catch you and smile back, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his cheeks pink. You held your breath every time, wanting to go back over to talk to him. But you were at work, and so was he. So you continued to make lattes, and he continued to fix the countertop.

You start to clean up, throwing out old coffee filters and wiping down dirty tabletops. You start counting money in the register when you’re startled by a figure in front of the register.

“What do I owe you for the tea,” he asks, your face gets hot even before looking up at him.

“Come on, you know it’s on the house,” you respond with a smile.

“Now this isn’t fair,” he starts playfully, “you’ve given me two free drinks now. The gentlemen in me feels it's my responsibility to buy one for you now. It’s the least I can do.”

“You can make me a cup of tea anytime,” your response slips out before you can even filter yourself.

“In that case, let me know when you’re free. I’ve got jasmine, mint, earl grey, English breakfast…”

“I’m more of a chamomile girl,” you were completely unsure where this flirt was coming from, “you know, sleepytime tea.”

“In that case my flat is right around the corner,” he laughs.

“My shift ends in ten if you’re willing to wait around…”

“Yes, yeah, of course, I’ll be right outside,” he gestures out the door and hurries to gather his work tools.

Your eyes grow a little wide when you process what you had just said. Where was this found confidence coming from? Where the fuck could you find some more? And fast???

You finish cleaning up and hang your apron on the hook, giving a shout goodbye to your coworkers as you hurry out the door. Part of you hopes this had all been a joke and he would be nowhere to be found, the other part of you desperately looked for him in the parking lot.

A thud in your heart comprised of half relief and half panic hits as his hand waves to you from his car.

“Hey, you,” he calls over, “you still want that cup of tea?”

You jog over to his car and lean down to his open window, “I’m not sure London boy, I work at a café, I can make a pretty good cup of tea for myself,” there it was again, the flirty courage.

“Oh, but you’ve never had tea made by a real Englishmen, have you? You don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

“You make a compelling argument. Can I follow you to your place?” you nod over to where your car is parked.

“Sure thing, it's not too far from here.” He gives you a cheeky smile that makes the corners of your mouth turn up.

You can’t stop smiling as you hurry over to your car, starting it and not even bothering to pick out music before putting it into drive. Your mind starts whirling a thousand miles a minute as you follow his black car to his apartment. What the fuck were you doing? You barely even know this guy. But god, he’s so hot. And nice. And funny. Fuck.

Suddenly you’re parked next to him, turning the key and stepping out of your car in front of his building.

“Made it alright?” god, that accent. This boy was going to be the death of you.

“I’m Tom by the way,” he flashes you another one of those perfect smiles as you walk side by side to his building entrance.

“I know,” you realized how weird that sounded, “um, I know because you’re the carpenter we always hire,” you try to laugh it off, “I’m y/n.”

“Lovely to formally meet you y/n,” he opens the door for you, “I really appreciate all the free snacks you’ve given me. I always love doing business at your café. For more reasons than one.”

He presses the elevator button and stands close to your side as the two of you wait for the numbers to count down. You step into the small elevator, looking over at Tom as he presses the button of his floor.

“I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this,” he turns to you, “but that guy was a real dumbass for letting a girl like you go.”

“Thanks,” you can’t help but stare at the floor, “I’m not tired of hearing it as long as it’s coming from you.”

He laughs a little at your comment. He has a certain way of making you feel comfortable, of reassuring you with a laugh or a smile when you think you’ve said something stupid.

The elevator dings at his floor and he saunters out over to his apartment door. Your heart rate begins to pick up as he opens the door, not knowing what to expect. You walk in and take off your shoes and put your bag down on a coatrack.

He walks into his small kitchen and immediately puts on a pot of water. Part of you is relieved. He actually wants to make you tea.

“I moved to the states a little over a year ago,” he starts to rummage though his cabinet, pulling out boxes of tea, “everything is pretty nice here, except there isn’t really anywhere to get a decent cup.”

“Hey!” you protest, “I make alright tea.”

“Your tea is alright…” he jokes, “but its nothing compared to home.”

“That’s not fair,” you sit down on a stool across the kitchen from him, “it’s like apples and oranges.”

“Why can’t fruit be compared?”

You fall into an easy back and forth with him, finding the same things funny, laughing at each other’s comments and jokes. You can’t help but stare at his arms as he pours the hot liquid, at the way his tongue pokes out between his teeth in concentration.

“Here you go love,” he hands you a cup, “one genuine cup of tea made by a real Brit.”

You hold the cup in your hands but pay no attention to your own tea as he takes his first sip. You hadn’t flirted with anyone in so long. You didn’t have a reason to. This all felt strange and foreign to you, like you were thirteen again.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, still watching the curve of his jaw as he sipped his cup.

“What do you mean ‘thank you,’ you haven’t even tried it yet,” he gestures to your full cup.

“Not for the tea,” you bring your eyes to meet his, “but thank you for that too. I mean thank you for being so nice to me. For listening to me even though I’m so all over the place. I just… I just haven’t had anyone treat me like this in a really long time and I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Hey,” he brings a hand up to your knee, making you shiver a little, “you can thank me for the tea, but you don’t have to thank me for the common curtsey of being a decent person. You deserve to be listened to and taken care of, that you don’t ever have to thank me for.”

You feel your heart jump into your throat. You had never thought of that, of holding yourself to that standard. Your ex had been an ass to you time and time again, and you always came up with a reason as to why it was your fault. Even when he cheated, your mind went to what you had done wrong or how you could have been better. Fuck that. There was a boy right in front of you who was showing you what your worth was. Being treated like a true human being shouldn’t be rewarded, it should be expected.

“I-” your voice was caught in your throat, “you’re really nice. And cool. And you make really good tea.” You laugh, and he joins you.

“I would very much like to kiss you,” he brings his hand from your knee up to where your hand is placed on your cup, “I also think you are really nice, and cool, and although it is hard for me to admit, you make some good tea too.”

You lean over to him, tentatively waiting for him to meet you halfway. His hand moves up your arm to the side of your face, the skin of his palm was rough and warm against you. Your eyes slowly shut as he pulls your face to his, soft lips meeting yours.

Kissing him for the first time felt like the brisk ocean water hitting you with a wave. Sucking you under and pulling you back up, ice cold yet exhilarating. You pull away from the kiss, letting the wave roll back out to sea, the next wave close on the horizon.

You had never felt such a breath of fresh air, his lips meeting yours again and pulling you back in.

“Is this okay,” he whispers into you, hands cupping either cheek, tea long forgotten.

“Yeah,” you respond, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again, “more than okay.”

You can feel his body shift as he stands up from the stool, his chest coming closer to yours, his face leaning more into the kiss. Your hands make way up his arms, the perfect biceps that you had admired from afar in the coffee shop more than once before.

You press deeper into the kiss, addicted to the feeling of his lips on yours. You were getting pulled further and further in, and you couldn’t bother to look back. You let his tongue slip into your mouth as your hand dances up to his neck, playing with the curls that framed his face.

“Can we go to your bedroom?” you find yourself asking with eyes still closed, lips barely released from his.

“Mhmmm,” he mumbles into your lips, reconnecting them once again, seemingly as addicted as you, “only if that’s what you want, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” you respond a little too quickly, “I’m so fucking sure.”

His strong hands grip underneath your legs that dangle off the stool where you sat, slowly lifting you up to meet his height, legs wrapping firmly around his torso. Your lips never detach as he carries you down the hall, your tongue rolling against his in perfect harmony.

He places you delicately on his bed, cool sheets beneath your skin causing goosebumps to rise. You can’t get enough of the feeling of his hair tangled between your fingers. You run them up and down his scalp, gathering his locks in your hands as you go. He kisses you like he means it.

“I want you to know,” he whispers in your ear, a deep gravely tone, different and sexier than his speaking voice, “that I want to make you feel good, so much better than that guy ever made you feel.”

He juts his hips into yours, causing a moan to catch in the back of your throat.

“Please,” is all you can manage to say before lurching forward, meeting his open mouth with yours again.

His hands are rough and strong, feeling amazingly foreign as they make their way up your legs, dancing underneath the hem of your top. He presses his palms down into you, causing your back to arch into him as you kiss.

You take initiative to remove your top, to show him that you really want him. You toss it over your head, not bothering to notice where it lands. His lips dip down to your jawline, training kisses from the corner of your mouth down to the soft spot on your neck. His thumbs continue to rub soothing circles into the flesh of your torso, slowly making their way up.

You mimic his actions and detangle your hands from his hair to feel underneath his t-shirt. His skin was tight and warm and smooth under your hands. He was taking his time with you, moving slowly but with purpose.

You tug at his shirt, signaling that you wanted it off. He got your message and pulled it off by the back of the neck. You couldn’t help but stare with gawking eyes, you had truly never seen a body this nice so closely, let alone touched one.

He had a cocky smirk on his face, knowing well how hot he is. All you could do is bite your lip and laugh a little, completely unsure how you ended up in this amazing position.

“Manual labor does a body good,” he says with a chuckle before leaning back down to your chest, resuming his trail of wet kisses that were now dipping into the valley of your breasts.

“You’re telling me,” you comment back as your eyes flutter shut a little, feeling his thighs tense up underneath your legs.

He looks up at you for permission before pushing your bra up, kissing and nipping at your skin. He left red blotchy marks that caused a pool to form in your panties. Your hips continue to buck and roll into his, feeling his hardening cock press through his pants onto your leg.

He continues his journey south, taking pit stops to suck at the skin around your ribs, on your stomach, above your hips.

“Can I?” He asks before hooking his thumbs under the waistline of your jeans. You lift your butt to help him slide them off, head in a complete daze. His hands run up and down your legs as they had before, less barriers between you this time. He continues to kiss at the skin on your hips and down into your thighs as his hands slowly spread your legs open for him.

He spent time teasing and licking around your underwear, never quite moving in to where you wanted him most. Leaving a purple hickey on your thigh, he soothes it over with his tongue as he brings his hand up to your underwear, stroking up and down your slit through the fabric.

You cant help but twitch under his touch. He was moving agonizingly slow, and you could feel the dampness in your underwear soaking through to his fingers. Unexpectedly he licks a stripe up the cotton, mouthing at your lips through your underwear.

A breathy moan leaves your throat as your head rolls back, begging him to take them off. He slides a finger around the seams and runs it through your slick folds, loving the way you were already so wet for him.

He follows the row of red marks he had left down your leg again with his tongue as he slowly pulled your underwear down. Every time you looked down at him you felt yourself clench around nothing in anticipation.

Finally, you feel his warm tongue run from your inner thigh to your core, licking wide stripes up and down before dipping into you. His name leaves your mouth mixed with heavy breaths, your hands searching for his arms or his hair, or anything to grip onto as he licked slow circles around your clit.

“Holy shit,” you choke out as he slips a finger into you, curling it upwards perfectly.

You feel him smirk into you, knowing the effect he was having on you. You like his confidence, and the way he was taking his time, building your orgasm up slowly. A second finger joins the first curled up against your walls and your hips drag against his expert tongue.

Any worries you had were melted away, all your stress, your anxieties, your negative thoughts that seemed to haunt you more often than you would like, suddenly sunk away and all you could think was his name, over and over.

You feel your thighs push back as he presses his face deeper into you, licking and pushing his fingers in a perfect rhythm. He could feel your walls tighten around his fingers, knowing that your high was close.

“Fuck Tom, I’m-” you couldn’t even bear to finish your thought as your orgasm crashed over you, that perfect wave of pleasure pulling you out and pushing you back in. He knew just when to speed up and when to pull back, letting you ride out your orgasm on his face, lapping up your juices and kissing back up your thighs, finally meeting your face, two fingers remaining inside your pulsing opening.

“Holy shit,” you giggle out, “you’re really fucking good at that.”

“I told you I wanted to make you feel good,” he kisses into your neck, finally dragging his fingers out of you and running them softly up your skin, “and how can I not when you look so gorgeous like this.”

You manage to swing your shaky legs over him, moving on top to press your chest flat against his. Now it was your turn to leave open mouthed kisses all along his neck. That perfect jawline begging to be sucked on.

Your hand snakes down to his hard member, fiddling with the button of his pants.

“You don’t have to, if you’re tired,” he mumbles into you as you feel around in his pants.

“I’m yours, if you’ll have me,” you whisper back into his ear, finding his cock fitting perfectly in your hand.

He kissed you with a new hunger and passion, hands gripping at the roots of your hair and pulling your face into his as you slowly jerk him off. Low guttural moans growling in the back of his mouth as your tongue swirled around his.

He kicks his pants off, and you push the band of his boxer briefs down as well, exposing his perfect cock. It was pink and dripping precum, begging to be sucked on. You run your thumb over his tip, loving the way his body tensed under your touch.

You find yourself down between his legs, licking a long stripe up the underside of him. You swirl your tongue around his tip while making eye contact with him, his head tossing back once you finally sink your mouth down onto his length.

He had teased you relentlessly, so you decide to tease back. You jerk the base of him off slowly as you run your tongue in all sorts of patterns clockwise and counterclockwise around his sensitive tip, only sinking back down when he bucked his hips up into your mouth.

“Fuck, y/n,” his voice was weak, “can I fuck you, can I please fuck you.”

His eyes finally focus back down to meet yours, the sight of your lips wrapped perfectly around his cock make it twitch.

You detach your lips with a pop and give him a nod, taking your swollen lip in between your teeth. Suddenly his hands are on your shoulders, pressing you down into the mattress as he kisses you hotly, sucking onto your bottom lip.

He rubs circles on your clit with one hand as the other fumbles over to his bedside drawer to find a condom. You lay back with your legs pushed up for him, back arched, fully ready and open for him. He runs his rubber tip up and down your soaking folds a few times, making you beg for him before slowly pushing into you.

You moan into his neck, biting down on his shoulder to silence yourself as he bottoms out inside you. His slow movements give you time to adjust to his size before you meet his lips again with yours, telling him to fuck you harder.

One hand takes place on your inner thigh, pressing your leg into the mattress to angle you perfectly for him to fuck into you, the other remaining on your clit. He picks up his pace and starts thrusting deep and hard into you, properly fucking the shit out of you.

You could tell he liked it when you moaned his name and told him how good he was making your feel, always thrusting a little deeper when you would make noises. It wasn’t long before you felt the pit on your stomach grow hot again, threatening to spill over at any given moment.

“Please don’t stop,” you whine, “you’re gonna make me come again, fuck.”

Your eyes scrunch shut as he rubbed a little harder onto your clit, causing your walls to flutter around him, gripping his cock with every muscle you had. Your eyes roll back into your head, his mouth hanging wide open as he watches you come and writhe underneath him. He doesn’t let up on his pace, fucking you thoroughly through your second orgasm.

Your face was flushed and your jaw hung slack as you felt the waves of pleasure crash over you again and again, abdomen tensing up and letting go over and over. The look on his face could have easily made you come again, watching you intently as you shook with pleasure.

He moves his hand from your throbbing clit up to your face, cupping your cheek as he kissed you deeply, teeth grazing over your bottom lip. You felt your sweaty forehead press into his, eyes open and staring directly into his as he continued to pump inside of you.

“Tom,” you manage to say above a whisper, “fuck me harder, please, fuck, please.”

He leans back onto his knees, and with a swift motion, pulling out of you, he flips your leg over and places you on your stomach. Hands gripped tightly on your hips pulling them up slightly to meet his. He easily slips back into you, hitting a new spot inside you this time. You cry out into the mattress, moans silenced by his pillows. Your hands grasp tightly at the sheets, pushing back onto him as he takes you from behind.

One hand on your lower back and the other gripping at the flesh of your ass he fucked into you with incredible stamina and power. You couldn’t even imagine the fucked out expression on your face as he buried himself into you over and over.

You could feel his cock start to twitch and swell inside you, his thrusts becoming harder and more purposeful. With a final push, he presses hips flush to yours as he spills inside the condom

“Oh my god, y/n,” he groans out, rolling himself into you slowly as he continues to reach his peak. All you could do was press your ass back onto him and feel his warmth inside you.

After a few more profanities, he pulls out and discards the condom. He reaches down and helps you up, bringing your body to lay next to his, spooning you with an arm draped over your sweaty form.

You lean your head back onto his shoulder, looking back up at him through tired eyes.

“That,” you start to giggle, “was really fucking good.”

“Yeah,” he buries his face into your neck, taking in the smell of your hair, “I thought so too.”

He continued to hold you in his arms for a few minutes, allowing you both to relax into the post-sex bliss.

“I think… our tea is probably cold.”

You laugh at his comment and roll over to face him.

“Want me to make another pot? For real this time?” He asks, fingers still dancing up and down your skin.

“Sure,” you smile at him, “I’d like that.”

He gets up and throws his underwear back on, giving you a full view of his perfect body standing in front of you.

“You should pee and get cleaned up,” he suggests, “bathroom is just down the hall.”

You take a moment to stretch out and toss your shirt and underwear back on, making your way down the hall. You can hear him moving in the kitchen, and can’t help but replay the events of what just happened over and over in your head.

Slipping quietly out into the kitchen, you take your seat back on the stool, looking much more disheveled than you had when you sat on it earlier.

“You’re beautiful,” he says with unwavering confidence as he hands you another cup of tea. You blush at his comment and look down at the cup in your hands. You take a sip, letting the hot liquid coat your throat, dry and sore from moaning his name.

“Thank you,” you look up at him, “for the tea.”

“You’re welcome,” he laughs, “I very much like you, and would like to see you again. If you want.”

You smile and nod at him, happy that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him. He rifled through a drawer, pulling out a pad of paper and scribbling his number down. He folds the paper in half and hands it to you over the counter.

After finishing your tea you get dressed and gather your things. He walks you to your car and kisses you before you open the door, lips lingering on yours.

“You’ll call me?” he asks, you assure him that you will.

“I’ll see you sometime soon,” you wave as he walks back to his building. You cant wipe the smile off your face the whole drive home, head on cloud nine. You twirl around as soon as you enter your apartment, dancing around to get rid of all your pent-up happy energy. You put your stuff down and go to get a glass of water, your cabinet creaking as you open it.

You didn’t want to seem desperate, but you immediately take out your phone, entering his number into your contacts. He had scrawled his name under the number with a little heart, making your smile spread wider across your face.

Hey, my cabinet door is squeaky: looking to hire a carpenter, know anyone good?

You hit send, hoping he thinks your message is funny and not desperate. Your stomach does a cartwheel as the three typing dots pop up.

Tom: I may know a guy… he can be over your place tomorrow at 6?

[uncloseted]

how can I stop overeating?

Anonymous asked: Do you have any advice for having self control around food? Ive always done restrictive dieting which results in me eventually binge eating. Im now wanting to change my diet so I make healthy choices without restricting what food I eat. But I struggle with self control. Like with biscuits I will eat the whole bag at once and I find it hard to put it down and save it for later. So while im trying to not have a restrictive diet I find it hard to not binge when I do let myself have a treat

First things first, make sure you're actually overeating. Sometimes people have the perception that they're overeating (especially if they have a history of restrictive eating disorders) but aren't actually gaining any weight, meaning that they're actually eating an appropriate amount for their height. If you're not actually overeating, there's no need to change your habits.

For a lot of people, overeating is a way of coping with other emotions (like stress/anxiety, anger, sadness/depression), and so I think that getting rid of the desire to overeat often has to do with finding ways to cope with negative emotions that are more healthy and positive.

If you think emotional eating may be part of the problem for you, you could try keeping a diary of each time you eat emotionally, what mood you’re in, and what caused that mood to happen.  When you’re more aware of your triggers, you can more readily identify them and deal with them when they present themselves. When you want to eat, first ask yourself, "am I hungry, or am I eating because I'm bored or emotional?" If you're eating because you're bored or because you're coping with an emotion, you might try distracting yourself with a hobby, taking a walk, watching tv, writing about how you're feeling in a journal or talking to a friend, etc.  Meditation or controlled breathing can also help to distract you and calm you in times of stress.  Also, it may help to set up self-care routines that aren’t about eating.  Maybe once a week you take a long bath or go to the movies or buy a new book or whatever else it is that you enjoy and that can act as a reward/comfort in lieu of food. Lastly, if you can, seeing a therapist to talk through your relationship to food can be really helpful, especially if you do feel like your eating comes from an emotional place.

In terms of more action-based things you can try, I would recommend doing your best to eat mindfully. What I mean by that is, try to avoid snacking without thinking. Set aside consistent times of your day to eat and just focus on eating during those times. Put your food on a plate, starting with a small portion (you can always get more later). Try to eat slowly, drink water between bites, limit distractions while you're eating, and notice when you feel full. The rest of the time, try not to have food near you. Try not to (for example) leave snacks out on the counter or snack while watching TV. If you want, you could try to replace those habits with things like chewing gum or drinking water (or coffee or tea or diet soda)- things that feel kind of similar to eating but aren't. Drinking water is also a good idea because sometimes your brain will mistake thirst for hunger. If you can't stop snacking right away, you could try to replace your snack foods with others that are healthier. If you get into the habit of doing those things, it will be easier to break the habit of overeating.