#especially because this was my first time in school age and i wasnt expecting to be watching over 27 kids + 2 other daycare classrooms

[raisedbythetv89]

I hate all of this “well he was Buffy’s first love!” talk when discussing how much pain and devastation Angel caused in Buffy’s life as if for women our first loves MUST be horrible and painful always???? As if it was unavoidable anyway so let’s not be too critical of him.

First off, HE LITERALLY WASNT EVEN HER FIRST LOVE

The show acknowledges what happens in the movie so canonically what happened in the movie happened to tv show Buffy INCLUDING HER RELATIONSHIP. ANGEL WAS NOT HER FIRST LOVE.

Angel was just the first guy who stalked and targeted Buffy when she was at her most vulnerable and continued to constantly lie and manipulate her for his own selfish gains only to toss her aside once she no longer served her original purpose while continuing to lead her on and show up in her life every time she tried to move on and THAT is why it was so painful!!!

STOP NORMALIZING THE PAIN CAUSED BY ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AS THE SAME THING AS REGULAR HEARTBREAK IN NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.

I did not have a good childhood, my parents had a horrible divorce when I was 7 and I had never seen a healthy relationship modeled IN MY LIFE - AND YET - my first serious relationship when I was 16 while it definitely had it problems like all young love does (his friends didn’t like how much time he spent with me and his mom both hated me for “taking her son away” but also loved me because she wanted a daughter so badly but only had sons - she was insane lol and we were both teenagers who made stupid teenager mistakes) he was with me for 3 1/2 years and absolutely would have married me if that was what I had wanted.

He would sneak out to see me when I was sad despite his strict parents, always bought me lunch because I would eat what I was sent to school with by 10 AM because I was STARVING because I had an almond mom who never fed either of us enough. Would happily listen to me rant about the twilight books as I read them during that whole phase, WROTE ME A SONG for my birthday (he was actually a talented musician and works as a sound engineer and music producer now) and basically just spent every second he could either with me or talking to me when we were apart. He loved taking me on dates and writing me love notes and we just laughed all the time. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and ending that relationship because I had outgrown him was SO PAINFUL because he loved me so much and even during the break up - which I handled HORRIBLY - he was kind and even gave me the birthday present he had bought me because he wanted me to have it even though it was still months away. (I say all of this to try and just show first loves CAN be more than just pain and devastation and if it isn’t making you happy a minimum 80% of the time and you instead just feel sad and confused THAT IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DESERVE BETTER 🩷)

I know good experiences are not the case for everyone when it comes to first relationships and that’s awful and is not fair because young love SHOULD be innocent and naive. Just two idiots in love who have no clue what they’re doing but just happy to be around each other no matter what they’re doing (like what willow got to experience with Oz in high school) and Angel robbed Buffy of those experiences. He broke her trust of other people and in love and her trust in HERSELF - that’s not her “first love” that’s her first abusive relationship and calling it “her first love” or worse “her soulmate” only serves the patriarchy and harms little girls everywhere who grow up not knowing to look for or expect better because everyone around them and society is telling them “your first experiences with love and sex will be awful and painful and there’s no escaping it” when that is just NOT TRUE at all, especially if you date someone age appropriate in high school. Angel is the first older “man” she dated and like all older men with high school girls do, he took advantage of that imbalance in power in literally every way possible and I will despise that whiney little bitch until the end of time for that and wish he would have just stayed trapped in that hell dimension until the end of time as it is what he deserves.

“True love” doesn’t require severe pain and tears for it to be deep or meaningful. Don’t believe the lies terrible men like jw and so many others feed us.

[druidshollow]

infodumping about rain world ancient ocs- about that ask i just answered

just in case the incredible @inkycorvid wanted me to talk about my ancient ocs instead of my ancient headcanons im making a post talking about my idiot guys in a very annoying structure. gotta cover all my bases

MANY SMALL "FLOWERS", ONE QUICK GLANCE

he/him, bisexual, sometimes has beard barbells sometimes doesn't. middle aged (in genetically modified to live for a longass time terms), very much divorced. admin to eleven rivers, not very nice to eleven rivers.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A FLOWERS IN THE WILD:

-like never smiles, always looks either pissed off or miserable

-his mask is very wedge-shaped. big karma 10 symbols on sides

-practically every time red is used in the context of my rain world ocs it relates to him. either symbolically or literally. see red highlights???? probably flowers' fucking fault!!

-two strands of hair always fall in face

-wears wrappings often. once my bf said he probably wouldnt get divorced so hard if he wasnt dressed like a weird mummy

-no left ear

COOL FLOWERS FACTS

-comes from a considerably privileged background. family had incredibly high expectations

-traumatized by everlasting fire's attack and afraid of iterators. will not enter a puppet chamber unless entirely necessary

-creates strong emotional attachments and reacts to rejection with self-isolation and bitterness

-late game, before he begins his plan to demolish eleven rivers and ascend himself but after the twins are awake he begins drinking an unhealthy amount and projecting his anger all over the place, especially towards rivers

-likes vultures. thinks they're crazy neat

-does not and can not have any comprehension of the ramifications his douchebaggery will bring about in the future (huge rammies. absolutely massive rammies)

-becomes an echo when he tries to ascend. his echo sits right snug over eleven rivers' chamber!

FLIGHT TO THE SUN, HOMEWARD "DESCENT"

she/her, bisexual, sometimes wears fancy shinies on her hair. middle aged in modified to live a very long time terms. flowers' ex wife. doing WAY better than him. admin to a fleck of flame, very nice to a fleck of flame.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A DESCENT IN THE WILD:

-blue, cream stripes, frills on upper back

-short face, short hair, short body. short

-walks with cane after everlasting fire's attack

-implant in right ear later game, ear still there

-does in fact smile! makes lots of smug faces. she is in general very emotionally intense and expressive, and is also very morally headstrong. quick to jump to anger when she thinks lines have been crossed.

COOL DESCENT FACTS

-she was named "flight to the sun, thirteen sparks" at birth, and changed it when she was enrolled in the school of solutions

-punk by ancient society terms. not big on ascension, very much a "don't we have it pretty fuckin good? why are we in such a rush to leave" kind of person

-stayed in the iterator project after fire's failure because in losing him she realized how human the iterators were. spent her life working to make their rights more solid and complexities more widely understood

-very close friends with fleck. looks at fleck as her son, looked at fire as her son as well

-met flowers at the start of their schooling. they quickly bonded as they got to work together and were endorsed for esteemed position together

-left flowers in part because of the trauma surrounding the situation with fire, but more because she didn't like what she was beginning to see in flowers. he invented the first model of the demolishers after fire's attack, which descent hated. they would have split up eventually even if fire had lived and they'd continued work on him together. i think their political views and morals are too different, and their personalities too headstrong for it to've been avoided forever

"WANDER"ING AIMLESSLY WITH EVERLASTING JOY

she/he/they, genderfluid and swaps pronouns often. pansexual. like in their late 20s early 30s equivalently. admin to glass incident. flowers' younger sibling, probably a nepotism hire

HOW TO IDENTIFY A WANDER IN THE WILD:

-shithead or confident expression

-lots of ear piercings, bridge piercing. no permanent ear implant

-three "bangs" fall on face. tends to let hair down when feeling more feminine and tie it up when feeling masculine

-frills on arms

-dresses a bit... revealing sometimes to be fully honest. wears a mask the least out of their group, doesn't like it for sensory reasons

-quite similar to flowers in shapes and colours, just with green stripes instead of red

COOL WANDER FACTS

-actually quite intelligent and insightful, but their primal need to cause chaos and keep everything lighthearted often overpowers this

-since flowers did so well in school and had his first project be a massive failure, lots of higher eyes were on wander throughout school

-joined the iterator project to stay near flowers

-was VERY happy to be selected to work with corners

-puts maybe too much energy into caring for flowers and trying to help him, when he pushes back so hard

THE LESS IMPORTANTS :D

bark, cloud, smoke, west and journey are less important background characters! ive never even drawn bark or journey until right now, lmao

bark is a very old man who just wants to do his work in peace. cloud is an introvert who is very calm and professional. smoke is pretentious and self-involved. they're a teacher at the school of solutions and endorsed flowers and descent for the esteemed position. west is a hot guy flowers knew in school that he had a short-lived fling with after his divorce. journey was rivers' admin before flowers, but then she went to the void so she had to be replaced.

hope this suffices and everyone is properly tired of seeing these guys!

[everythingsinred]

I spent a whole day reading your Natsume analysis and am so excited to read Mikan's version. I wanted to ask about your thoughts on what Natsume was doing during the four years he was apart from Mikan. In Kageki, we learn that he took a lot of missions to get credit. But what do you think his mental state was like? Do you have any fic recs? I love making myself sad from Natsumikan angst.

hi! im so happy you read the natsume analysis! it makes me happy to hear people enjoyed it! i just recently made a table of contents for my essays and general ga postings so if you need help navigating the mikan essays, check out my pinned post <3

to answer your questions about what natsume was up to while mikan was gone, im pretty sure in kageki narumi mentioned that natsume had some negative behavior and attitude, but the extent of that is left vague. allegedly the missions he went on after she left were not alice-heavy or life-threatening but we know that one of those missions was to be toma's bodyguard and... bodyguarding tends to be dangerous? thats in the job description, pretty much literally. im not entirely sure how he was expected to bodyguard WITHOUT using his alice, but thats what they imply. did he take martial arts? did he carry a gun? who knows really. either way he should not have been permitted to continue doing any missions.

just in general, i think he was pretty depressed without mikan around. i mean natsume was in a HORRIBLE suicidal depression for two years before he met her and falling in love with her happened because she saw value in his life that he hadnt seen before. while she was there, he had developed a sense of purpose in his life and a will to live he hadnt had. it was bc of her that he started bonding with class b. now that shes gone, im sure hes very upset especially because its not certain he'll ever be allowed to see her again, granted he even lives that long.

but as much as i see him being depressed and a little miserable, he still has friends and a strong support system at the academy now. he has his best friend, plus the kids he allowed himself to befriend while mikan was around. theres pictures in the memorial book that depict middle-school aged natsume hanging out with The Boiz, and there's photographs in kageki that imply he wasnt completely isolating himself from his classmates during mikan's absence.

so with that in mind, i think he's depressed and sad about mikan being gone for sure, but he still has a will to live, a support system, and a sense of purpose (seeing mikan again) so that he isnt ENTIRELY devastated during those few years.

we can see when he reunites with her that he kinda expected her to remember him as soon as she saw him, and that gives us insight into how exactly he processed her stolen memories. (smth like, "she doesnt remember anything. so even if i did see her id probably have to make her fall in love w me again and im not even sure how i did it the first time! but she did love me right? i mean if she really loved me, she'd remember me eventually. i cant imagine forgetting her so im sure since she loved me that she'll remember as soon as she sees me!" and then he holds onto that thought so tightly that he ends up shocked that she doesnt remember). those thoughts probably kept him afloat too.

i really have mixed feelings about mikan leaving the academy in the first place though. i just dont think that plot point was executed very well so i never really got very into it.

as for fanfic recs, i cant think of many off the top of my head that have much to do with that time period of natsume on his own, but there is this one, (paths that lead home by MCaroba) which is about natsume going on a road trip with his friends!

as for angsty fics that are NOT related to that specific time period, here are some:

Ten Years to Date by November Romeo (the kids are assigned to write about their futures and natsume refuses. canon!verse one shot) (ps lots of her canon fics are in the same universe and theres a deal of angst involved there too, though her canon!verse fics take place in an alternate future of the kids in high school. i do recommend reading pretty much everything she's written for ga)

Tired by FearandLoathingXIX (hurt/comfort related to natsume's sickness. canon!verse one shot)

My Happy Ending by Little Miss Giggle (au where the kids go to a music school.... it starts off silly and fun but it gets pretty damn angsty. multichapter and one of the better known fics in the fandom)

Steal (my breath away) by Rock-n-Round (au one shot where alices exist but they're a bit weird and hard to explain. this one is EVISCERATING. and very beautiful)

Before You Hit the Ground by Ducky-san (au multi-chapter fic where mikan runs away from an abusive home and meets natsume who is in a gang against his will. i actually LOVE this fic so much... but it does contain some triggering material, like discussions of child abuse and implied sexual abuse.)

Right Before Your Eyes by pressuredtreasure (au... i don't think i can say much about this without spoiling it, but it's basically mikan missing natsume)

Oh Hello World also writes a lot of one shots, some of which are pretty angsty.

i'm really sad.... i was gonna link some other fics but i couldn't find them or remember their names and i'm scared they've been taken down. ah the pain of being in an old, less active fandom...

i also write fics too! ive only written aus so far (incidentally, not on purpose), but the angstiest is probably all things rancid and delicate, which is about mikan in a cult (it has a lot of dark elements to it)

im sorry if youre not much an au person, but i havent read much new ga ffn recently and not many good ones have survived the test of time it seems. it's all very sad. i miss reading fanfic all the time AND having lowered standards for gaffn specifically...

i hope i've answered your questions! if you have any other questions feel free to shoot me another ask! i love talking abt ga <3

[grandtheftpoptart]

I was in schoolage for the first time at work and a kid called me stupid because I called the knight in chess a "horse", and then another kid threw ice at my face twice (missed both times bc im too fast) and then hit me when we went inside :(

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[strawhatsweets]

golden

Kenma x GN!reader

Im trying to stray away from my comfort zone of just writing readers that use she/her so bear with me

sorry if this lowkey sucks but it was inspired by harry styles song golden

cw: big cursing, huge fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, aged up!

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in!

Requests are open!!

-------------------------------------

Being a streamer comes with perks. Being comfy at home, not having to face people in real life every day, playing games, typical shit. Another perk is making good friends.

Meeting people on a voice chat is common for Kenma -guys and gals alike. What he wasnt expecting one night was the sweetest voice on the other end of his headphones.

"You're all fucks- I'm better at this game than all of you combined. Try me."

To think that was the sentence that made Kenma's ears perk up and burn.

"What the hell ever- we have the great Kodzuken on our side." One of the guys said, half joking half dead serious.

"Oh yeah, he isn't even speaking up to defend your pussy asses- probably knows I could beat him too." You could hear the smirk in that last part.

"U-uh, no. You can't beat me. Nobody can actually. Not at this game." Kenma rebutted , confident in his gaming skills but not so much his speaking skills to this stranger.

"Oh man, you certainly sound confident. Come on, Kodzuken- 1v1 me then. Show me who the best really is."

Kenma suddenly felt nervous. Should he really demolish this stranger? Isn't it polite to let the person you like win? He didn't like this person yet but god their voice was attractive.

"Fine. Send the request." He decided.

"Sent, fucker."

The game resulted in a tie because this stranger actually knew what they were doing. They both threw friendly insults at each other the whole time of course, making each of them laugh a little.

"Okay fine. The great Kodzuken himself almost beat me. Im almost honored to have a great streamer almost beat me."

"Well you almost beat me too- uh-" Kenma stuttered over the fact that he didn't know how to address this stranger.

"Oh! Call me Y/n." The person giggled.

"You can uh, call me Kenma."

"Oh you don't want me to repeat your title over and over like everyone else?" They laughed.

"No, friends don't call me that. They use my name name." His ears were burning.

"Friends, huh? Guess that means you owe me your number so we can schedule a rematch where I can properly beat your ass."

"Huh, guess so."

A few months had gone by and Y/n and Kenma were as close as they could be. They found out they live close by each other and began hanging out a lot.

Y/n would be in the back of his streams on occasion and wouldn't hesitate to speak up during them. Thats the thing about Y/n. They've always been so outspoken. Since the start. Everything they talk about comes so easy to Y/n. Nothing is held back. Kenma knows everything about them. He on the other hand is still a bit closed off. Quiet. The two are so opposite yet so alike. Kenma doesn't speak much about himself, opting to listen.

Especially when talking about past relationships.

One night, they were sat in Kenmas room in separate chairs, letting conversations flow.

"So, you've dated but why have the relationships ended?" Y/n asked.

"Ah, I dont know- its not important. Why did yours end?" Kenma flipped the question as he always does.

"One guy cheated," Y/n tossed a piece of popcorn in the air, missing their mouth and brushing it off. "One girl left because she was leaving for school, and one guy just didn't mesh with me. Your turn." Y/n pushed the question back.

"Uh- well. I don't click with people easily. I'm pretty closed off so when I date it usually ends in hurt feelings by accident or they get sick of me." Kenma finally admitted.

"Huh." Y/n flopped onto their stomach on the bed after setting down the popcorn. "Don't you like anyone though? Like- if you liked someone enough, do you think you would give opening up a shot?"

"I mean I guess. Nobody ever takes the time to...pry me open." That got a laugh out of Y/n. Good. "But yeah I do like someone."

Sitting up suddenly, Y/n became visibly excited.

"TELL ME WHO."

"No god no- it isnt important." Kenmas ears burned again.

"Come onnnnn. Its gotta be someone big time cool to earn your heart. I have to approve."

Y/n pulled Kenma from his chair to the bed, not letting go of his hand as he sat down.

"Theyre very cool- and very sweet. Understanding. Someone who stands up for me and makes me comfortable-" Kenma began gushing.

"Do I know them?" Y/n interrupted.

"Y-yeah. You sure do." Kenma scratched the back of his neck.

"Oooh ok, a guessing game. Describe them more- their looks!" Y/n held his hand tighter, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Well- ok." Kenma took a deep breath and decided he could be vague enough. "Theyre short. As short if not shorter than me. Competitive. Very cute smile-"

"TOO VAGUE give me the JUICY DETAILS" Y/n pushed.

"They uh- they have..pretty eyes." He was staring at this point, eyes wandering around Y/ns face to find more things to describe. "cute nose too I guess. Squishy cheeks. Glasse-"

"WHO THE HELL IS IT KENMA- its starting to sound like youre describing me." Y/n laughed.

"No- I'm totally not!" Kenma rushed.

"Tell this person you like them. You look so happy when you talk about them. Its kind of sickening."

"I can't just do that." Kenma stated flatly.

"Yeah you can."

"No-"

"DO ITTTT. Nothing to be scared of- it's CUTE. They would be dumb to not like you."

Kenma sighed, knowing he couldn't tell Y/n the truth about who he liked. What does he usually do when he's put in a corner like this? Oh thats right-

"Who do you like then Y/n?" He asked, proud of himself for deflecting again.

"Oh thats easy. You." Y/n said, letting go of his hand and laying back on the bed, leaving Kenma sitting up and stunned.

"What? No I mean a crush idiot. Who do you liiikkkeee?" Kenma pushed, hoping he didn't hear Y/n wrong.

"You, Kenma. I've had a crush since our first tie in a game. Thought that was obvious-"

Kenma flopped back on the bed as well. The both of them looking at each other.

"Oh. My person is uh... really... open and honest." Kenma said quietly.

"Is that why you wont tell them?" Y/n asked just as hushed.

"Yeah... what if right now they say yes but then their feelings change one day? That would hurt so bad. Worse than not telling them ever." He whispered.

There was silence. They knew what they both just admitted. Kenmas heart started racing. This might've fucked everything up. He might lose them. But they like him too so why is he so scared?

Y/n held his hand again.

"I know that youre scared because I'm so open...but hey... If you wanna give it a try..." Y/n whispered, scared about whether or not their honesty fucked them over.

"You might be right this time Y/n." Kenma whispered.

The space between them was closed due to both of them being drawn together like magnets in that moment. A sweet kiss.

"Let's try it then. I'll work on... being more open if you'd like." Kenma said.

"Kenma. I dont want you to change one bit. I like you the way you are."

Acceptance. It was the best thing Kenma has ever felt.

[limitless-shadows]

Picking up gofushi crumbs from the manga pt. 3

Disclaimer: Beware of anime/manga/fanbook/light novel spoilers. This is just me commenting on the manga with the lenses of a gofushi fan. So... it’s just my opinion.

This section runs from chapter 26 to 79.

About character developments, gofushi first meeting, “Oh, nothing <3″, and others.

[Chapter 26]

Bless Yuuji’s imagination creating gofushi material LOL

[Chapter 32]

Megumi’s disappointed and nonchalant face when others connect “that moron” to Gojou www :surprisedpikachu: it’s even more funny when it’s Megumi who says that.

[Chapter 33]

Megumi being sharp at noticing changes in Yuuji. If he’s that keen, would he have sensed anything different on Gojou after Getou’s death?

[Chapter 45]

“You really can tell even with that guy’s drawing” Dang it, now I have to add great artist to my list of type standards.

Well, Gojou can do almost anything as stated in the fanbook, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he can communicate well with art as a medium. Ack, is that why Nobara said he had high standards.

I like how fast Megumi is able to dial Gojou’s number here www

[Chapter 55]

If Megumi never tells them anything, what do they think about the gofushi dynamic? Domestic feeling? lolol

Especially Yuuji, who can be perceptive (when he noticed that Junpei was being bothered by his teacher).

[Chapter 56]

Knowing Gojou’s schedule again.

[Chapter 58]

Aaah it implies that Megumi doesn’t usually ask Gojou to train him :(

"Is it that annoying? To ask me?"

...either doesnt want to ask him because he is annoying and/or because he doesn’t want to feel more indebted to him ;-;

I like the face that Gojou makes here haha like: eeeeh~ why is that? what’s wrong that you don’t want to ask me

Did Gojou realize Megumi’s self sacrificing tendencies from just the bunt? or did that already confirm previous suspicions? I liked the anime adaptation of it~

Of course Gojou would be so angry at that that his finger flick made Megumi's forehead bleed. Megumi who isn't growing up in the correct way to be strong enough as was asked from Gojou during their first meeting:

“You better get strong, don’t get left behind.”

And also Megumi throwing away his life in such a manner after Gojou protects him so much ;-; Gojou knows Megumi has plenty of potential but isn’t tapping on it effectively. Disappointment.

Then follows it up by asking him to be selfish so he can grow up strong (it's ok to ask your sensei for training! ;-;). Megumi freeing himself from the chains that bind him to a lesser self valuing is such an amazing character development.

Adding to it is that this flashback was used as the base for Megumi’s change aaaah

I also wanted to add that Ep23 was released 1-2 days before this post and it was such a great adaptation of this chapter with the sunset, the shadows and if that wasnt enough gofushi food, they went with the jujusanpo and and violinteacherhomewreckersformationbgaaah

what is formation a??? or c??? the gofushi interpretation of megumi’s gomeeeeeeeen?andsorrythatepisodewastoogoodImenjoyingthenewgofushiviolinarts

[Chapter 59]

A suspicious dude with white hair who is tactless.

Yaaay way to go with first impressions :D It's funny how Gojou hasn't changed and is still disrespectful in his speech XD

[Chapter 79]

Gojou guessing that Megumi already manifested his cursed technique...

While the fanbook said that he wanted to recruit a talented person, I also fancy believing that Gojou didn’t want Megumi to grow up under a harsh Zen’in training.

Ah. I like how Gojou kneeled down to talk to him about his father’s death. Imagine a 190+ cm tall stranger coming to you, a 6 year old, and telling you from that high up that he killed your father lololol

At this height, Gojou is near Megumi’s stature or at least close to seeing him eye to eye. That pose is also less threatening and even seems childish in Gojou manner lolol but that’s sometimes how Gojou approaches serious things: in a joking way.

Gojou has such a similar reaction where he doesn't say what he is thinking directly, but masks it. In the chapter where Todou says that they should continue with the exchange event, he questions Todou’s age XD and here he asks if he really is a first grader.

That right panel tho... what was going through his mind in that moment? Surprise? Pity? This kid is not normal.

Akutami-sensei Q&A mentioned that the one to tell Megumi about his father was going to be Gojou... and I wonder how it’s going to go? also, Gojou getting out of the box? aaa-

I wonder how it must have felt for Megumi... when the suspicious dude with white hair actually did take care of things. The fanbook with the following Q&A for Fushiguro:

Q: How did he become so insightful?

A: Maybe it's because he has negative thinking and doesn't just trust people.

Source: JJK Official Fanbook (fan translation)

Oof, his own upbringing made him like that. Especially with how he regards himself...

When it says that he “doesn’t just trust people”, Megumi then probably didn’t expect much from Gojou after their first meeting and is surprised when Gojou comes back :(

His father and mother leaving him, but Gojou coming back... although the situation doesn’t get better when later on Tsumiki goes into a coma and Gojou is sealed...

He will take care of things after a hehe~  ;-; 

---

Oh, yeah and:

Q: Has he known Maki and Mai even before entering the school?

A: Yes. When Gojo was working on Megumi and the Zenin clan issue, he took him to the Zenin house, so I think that's when they first met.

source: JJK Official Fanbook (fan translation) (same as above)

Seems like the Zen’in house is in Kyoto? Because of Maki and Mai’s birthplace not to mention Naoya’s kansai dialect. So... did they go on a trip to Kyoto? :D

---

Then, Gojou counting on shotagumi to work extra hard.... so he can be strong ;-; and maybe become part of his nakama group to change Jujutsu's society huhuhu

On the topic about being granted a choice, I only came to realize it after reading this excellent work, Close Your Eyes (To See) it’s a lovely soulmate fanfic, please consider reading it if you haven’t ^^. Megumi usually goes on about unfairness randomly granted on people, so to be given a choice about going to the Zen’ins or not is quite big. Particularly when it comes to how the Zen’ins would have treated Tsumiki, a non sorcerer. It’s too good.

The look when he says that ;-; counting on Megumi to get strong enough to rival Gojou? Then Gojou wouldn’t be the only one going against the conservative higher ups.

When Gojou closes his eyes, it seems to convey regret/resolution where he sets in motion his plan to reform the Jujutsu society so that no more sorcerers go stray or overwhelmed by duties following a rigid doctrine ;-; as if preventing them becoming like Getou. And thats so aaah because while I knew what Gojou's wish was, I didn't know the why behind it, and that would be a great reason. Megumi has been with Gojou since the start (or near the beginning of it), so it’s even more beautiful.

That transition from closed to eyes to the present where the 1st year trio wakes him up. Was he recalling all those events during the nap?

I- I just love Megumi's pouty face here. But it's still not that angry looking, more like, he is used to it (as always). Then my gofushi brain telling me that there is a hint of concern in Megumi's look- its almost affectionate. Could it be concern because he is worried about how much sleep he gets.

About Gojou’s sleep:

Q: How many hours does he sleep?

A: Seems like only for a short while.

source: JJK Official Fanbook (fan translation)

And Megumi being aware of his tendency to eat sweet things:

“When he’s busy, Gojou-sensei tend to eat more sweets like these, after all…”

source: JJK First Light Novel - Chapter 1 (fan translation)

aaaaaaaaaaah

Gojou lifting his blindfold to look at Megumi with his left eye because Megumi is on his left side.

Wait... it’s the same left eye from the second opening of the first season.... is that a hint.

The legendary “Oh, nothing <3″ with the heart~

Is he being fond of Megumi because of dreaming about their first encounter or because Megumi did get strong, or, or, both of those. aaaah what if it was from recalling everything that happened in the 9 years they've known each other? Calm down! Probably because he got strong comrades now! ;-; i-it’s not just because of Megumi! ...but I like how he has his body turned to Megumi only...

It's a "Megumi has been with him all this time (9 years) while he is trying to achieve his dream and he became this strong"

They... they just look so good together ;-; my gofushi feelings... Chapter 79 is special grade.

[Part 4]

[generalexcuse]

Alright. I am beating a dead horse here but taking time off of this show and fandom did not work. This will be the last time I ever say something about it but it’s upsetting to me so I need to vent. And to everyone saying “You are an adult man and this is fiction, why are you so obsessed? Weirdo. Learn to differentiate between fiction and reality.” I am going to address these notions as well as other problems I am having here. But really, Inuyasha was one of my first Anime, I have many dear memories and especially Rin was one of my all time favourite characters. Seeing her being mistreated like this upsets me. Ofc it does because if you watch something in formative years it’s not just fiction like a boring sitcom you watch now. Shows and characters are important to people and to simply dismiss it like that even if they would have been equally upset if it wouldnt have become canon, is infuriating. Really this is just therapeutic for me because even after weeks it’s still so baffling to me. Also please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I am not a native speaker.

So the problem is obviously Sessrin and how it’s done because while I absolutely dont agree with this pairing, it would have been fine if it wasnt like it is. 

In the original show, Rin is an 8 yo child and her entire character reflects just that. She behaves like a child and depends on others. She has also been traumatized, doesnt speak at the beginning of the show and dies twice. Both times she is saved by or because of Sesshomaru. In many ways, while she has survival skills on her own, she depends on his presence alone to keep danger away. He also leaves her with trustworthy humans at the end but stays in her life as a protector. Now I like the original dynamic. It’s sweet, innocent and both characters grow because of it. Rin can work through her traumatic experiences, learns to trust others and Sesshomaru becomes a better person.  What happens afterwards only happens offscreen right until Rin gives birth to his children at the crippling old age of 15. 15. My lil sis is 16 now and couldnt consent to something like that. And she is mature af. It’s ridiculous. My blood boils just typing that shit out. And if you give me the ‘it’s legal in Japan’ excuse. In Germany a 14 yo can be with a 20 yo sexually. Still not okay in societies eyes and on tv it’s never shown as something positive. It’s even explicitly forbidden for authority figures like teachers or protectors to be with their protégé before the age of 18 because the chances of even unintentional grooming are too high. 

Now lets take a quick break and discuss how this kind of relationship usually plays out in other fictional pieces. A minor with an adult is something that is being portrayed at times and I dont have a problem with that. The problem is how it’s being done in Yashahime. And I dont mean the nonexisting character development but the fact that even in adult fiction this type of relationship isnt depicted positively. And this show is for young adults and teens that will exist way after all the discourse as the official sequel to Inuyasha. A cult anime. Meaning that in the future young people will watch it. Just like many still watch Inuyasha to this day. It’s on Netflix for fucks sake. Just to preface what comes next.   Some people say, “But cant you differentiate between reality and fiction?!?!?!” Adults can but younger people havent developed this ability to the same extent.   What happened to Rin was statutory r*pe in the USA, illegal even in Germany and should have been depicted as such unless the showrunners and fandom are okay with watching it without criticism or deconstruction. At best it was done with the intention to please the fanbase but really it’s neglectful to anyother part of the present and future audience. Not even most Animes do that. And I get that Sessriners arent into that shit in real life and an adult show could have gone this route because the viewers understand and add the criticism in their heads. Not ideal but whatever to me. But a YA show to go this route is so wrong on so many levels. The younger viewer who will watch this show in the following years might subconsciously internalize that this is acceptable under certain conditions when it’s not criticized properly on the show. That lowers their alertness when an adult actually starts to groom them. How dense do you have to be to assume that the lack of criticism on this YA show is a good thing?? Not everyone who will ever watch this show is an adult or capable of the same reasoning.

But another thing: for the same reason r*pe isnt depicted in a positive light, these types of relationships arent either. Because it’s not a positive thing and most people and showrunners dont want to see or create it as positive. Even in adult fiction, even in other anime, the media critizes and deconstructs what it’s showing because normally the showmakers dont approve but show it for realisitc or dramatic reasons. the same sessrin storyline would fit a fucking horror or thriller series. Just change the music and show it all. No showmakers in their right mind would go “Aye we got a r*pe scene coming up, lets put romantic music and have a pink filter over it.” “But it’s a different time and culture!” People will say and I agree but to have the audacity to assume that back then it was okay or that in todays Japan it’s okay, is fucked up. Think about it for a second. That’s so fucked up to think. Even if the society back then or in Japan thinks it’s okay, does it make it okay? 15 yo girls werent able to consent to adults and bear their children back then. They had to. They were raised with the expectations and they simply grew up thinking that it was the normal thing. But that doesnt make it right. That’s just societal grooming which did not prepare them in any way or allowed them the human dignity that they would have deserved. To now act like it’s all cool to just show the “positive” aspects or to twist it into something positive is so fucked up. Child Brides are a fucked up concept and to portray it as anything else is fucked up and also undermines the experience many girls still have to make. period.

I heard people say that it’s okay to portray it in this way because “Sesshomaru is not human!!!1″ and that’s correct. He is not. BUT, it’s not about being human but about maturity, consens, and independency. Him being a yokai makes it worse imo because there is an obvious power discrepancy. But in this particular fiction a good relationship could have been established (Kagome and Inuyasha for example) on those foundations but they did not because I can only assume they wanted Sesshomaru to smash and the show to pick up at a point where the other characters arent too old to be cool.

“What’s with Sango and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha?? It’s the same!” No it’s not. Rin was 8 at the beginning of the show. Kagome was 15 and Sango was 16-17 when they met their significant others. If you now tell me that you think 8 to be comparable to 15-17, I must ask you to get a reality check. Kagome’s and Sango’s relationships were slowburns starting when they already were able to have sexual and romantical feelings. Rin was a child. And Kagome did not kiss Inuyasha until they knew each other for a long ass period of time and bonded as friends and maybe more. Sesshomaru and Rin never were friends in the same way that Kagome and Inuyasha were because the maturity levels are way off. No adult is friends with a little child in the same way they are friends with their adult friends. And normally you dont grow into such a friendship but in the rare case you do, it’s not when she is 15 but maybe 20 or 25. 

Last but not least, Rin is not a character to the audience the same way Kagome or Sango are. Why? Because she was never shown as an adult or 3 Dimensional character to the audience. We know her as a child who wants to be with her trusted group. She is naive, but tough and doesnt have any motivation or drive on her own outside her group. Like every child she clung to the adults around her and her world outside of this group was nonexisting. Kagome wanted to be successful in school, Sango was a demon hunter and wanted to find her brother. Those are motivations and traits that dont circle around the love interest. Rin never had those because she was not developed to that point. Because she was a child and her entire existence was to develop Sesshomaru and to perhaps give the viewer a character to simply adore. What we see is of her: Mistreated child, -> Dead child -> Child being looked after and healing, -> Child not being homeless anymore -> ????? -> Teenager getting knocked up, pumping out main characters and then getting yeeted into a tree. 

This is not the way you treat a beloved character. There is no dignity to her character. “But she is fictional!!1″ Yes she is. But please show me a show that treats its child characters like this without criticizing it. 

I would have loved to see her grow as her own person. Go on her own adventures or learning a craft or developing meaningful bonds with other characters her age. Forming ideas that dont revolve around Sesshomaru alone. You know her being 3 Dimentional and not just there to pump out main characters. And if she then with 20 or 25 met Sesshomaru again and thought he was the hottest shit, I would have been fine with it. Not happy but fine. But in the little time we saw her as ‘not a child’, she still behaved the way she did before. 

[moonscarsandstars]

im having feels about alphard and i’ve never done one of these things so bear with me and also im way too sleepy but let’s not go there.

basically atticus 2.0

okay so let’s start off with etymology

the name ‘alphard’ is of course a star, because the Black family have an aesthetic to keep

but it’s the brightest star in the hydra constellation

you know who else was the brightest star in a constellation?

thats right, our one and only, sirius black!

his name also roots from arabic, which is pretty fucking metal for someone coming from a racist™ family

it derives from the word  “Al Fard“ which means ‘solitary one’

for some reason im getting victorian era widow living in windy hills writing poetry about her former lover but okay

but the correlation of astronomy and etymology between alphard and sirius has gotten me super hyped up on their relationship

of course uncle alphard was the cool™ uncle, but what if he was so much more?

what if he was the one who kinda brought sirius out of his shell?

because i cant imagine that living with the Blacks with such a fiery, rebellious personality would make for an encouraging childhood

so if sirius was this little kid, with so much pent up anger and suppressed personality

who was that small light in sirius’s life? like the one person who truly allowed sirius to be himself?

my old man, alphard

also for some reason, i get the vibe that he was really into either rifle shooting or archery

something muggle related that walburga didn’t want her kids near

but both reg and sirius was super curious, and absolutely loved it because it’s really the only muggle thing they’ve ever seen

and so every summer when the kids went and stayed with him

he’d show them his collection of rifles that he’d collected

and he’d tell stories of buying them from muggles and learning it with those wooden target dudes

and sirius and reg would just look up to him in awe because he talks to muggles!

oh and what if alphard, our old school rebel sometimes took them to muggle london?

imagine this: young sirius and reg wandering through 70s muggle london with this smart, friendly but also intimidating young man

and they’re just so excited, but they try to keep quiet because they were raised to sit still look pretty 

i hate their parents ugh

anyway so sirius finally snaps when he sees a popcorn maker

and for the first time alphard’s ever seen, one of walburga’s kids smiles

sirius points enthusiastically at the popcorn maker blurting out questions at the speed of light

until regulus tells him to keep quiet

sirius suddenly realises his outburst, and is filled with fear

because oh god, he loved uncle alphard, and the last thing he wanted was for his uncle to be mad

but then to his surprise

alphard just chuckles and smiles at him

his expression turns concerned when he sees the near tears in sirius’s eyes

“what’s wrong?” he asks in that gentle tone- that no one could expect from such a burly man

“i’m sorry,” stuttered out a five year old sirius, trying to keep tears in

“don’t be sorry! you were excited, there’s nothing wrong in having fun, is there?”

and this is the first time sirius has ever heard such a thing

so he looks up at alphard in confusion

alphard gives him that sweet, encouraging smile

and sirius hugs him like anything, holding on tightly and letting tears stain his robe

uncle alphard is actually the first person sirius had ever hugged

the only one he’d ever hugged until third year in hogwarts, when him and james had that conversation

back to alphard

these meetings to muggle london would be secret, and neither of them would tell their mother

regulus of course had his suspicions, and felt bad about hiding it from his mother

but in the end he loved fish and chips too much to give it up

especially when they had ice lollies while at the river or seaside

alphard and sirius had an even closer relationship once sirius was sorted into gryffindor

of course, he got the hateful and toxic letter from his parents

but a little while later

he also got one from alphard, which probably made him cry more than walburga

firstly because now uncle alphard would hate him!

but secondly because alphard was the only letter for a long time that’d encouraged him, and told him that he was still loved

and sirius just couldnt believe it

he couldnt believe that he had such an amazing uncle, who even loved him after he disappointed the family

and they corresponded a lot more than walburga knew

much more than walburga wanted them to

“because he’s a bad influence, mixing in with the wrong sort. don’t follow his ideas, they’re wrong”

it was also around then that sirius started questioning his own bigoted beliefs

and he started talking to uncle alphard about them

uncle alphard, being the atticus he was, guided sirius to the right path

(something that walburga would never know of)

also helping sirius make friends, because sirius was so lonely

fast forward to third year

puberty hits sirius like a fucking snake with angel wings on steroids

(dont question my similes)

so sirius starts getting crushes

but here’s the thing- he doesnt have crushes on girls

why not?

marlene was pretty, so was alice and emmeline

so why didnt he want to snog them senseless like james peter, and the rest of the boys did?

he sends letters to uncle alphard, who tells him not to worry

because as all, it doesn’t happen to everyone, and sometimes it takes a little longer for some people

it was also worth mentioning that he wanted to grow closer to fabian prewett

he didnt know why, but he probably wanted to hang out more often with fabian

and so he does

he hangs out much more with fabian, and finds that fabian wants to hang more with him

and that makes him happy

so one late night, both of them were staring at the stars, stolen drinks in hand

(they were at the age that firewhisky tasted disgusting, but an lightly alcoholic butterbeer or gillywater wasn’t bad)

so here they are

and neither of them knows who started it

but suddenly they were snogging each other senselessly

and sirius knew deep down it was wrong, but he just didnt want to stop

because there was this feeling growing inside him- this warm feeling that just made all the rules broken worth it

the next day, however, they both wake up in all sobrierity

and the horror of what they did hits them both like a brick

both of them run away from each other as fast as they can, fabian running to the kitchens and sirius running to the common room

what’s the first thing he does?

he writes to uncle alphard

because uncle alphard would know what to do. uncle alphard would know how to fix this

uncle alphard’s reply was like a punch in the gut for sirius

there wasnt a way to fix it

but there was more

sirius wasn’t broken

sirius wasn’t broken

sirius wasn’t broken

and though there was a hidden part of him screaming in his motehr’s voice

he knew that if alphard said he wasn’t broken, then he really wasn’t

and it was that moment that sirius felt it the most

not when he was sorted, not when andromeda patted him on the back

it was now that he felt accepted

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

[thanatos-drive]

Pokemon Radical Red Rom

Hardest pokemon game I ever played BEATEN.

Hall of Fame:

Scorponok the Drapion (transformers)

Not a mega the Meganium

Age of Slash the Aegislash

Slime Monster the Ditto (ghost writer reference)

Kyo (Kusanagi KOF) the Charizard and

Qil la Qil the Typhlosion

@smallbabywerewolf , @gospelofbrodin

OPTIONAL LOT OF READING AHEAD CAN SKIP.

Unseen mvps were:

Magic Karp the Gyarados

Iago the Crobat

Bane the Swampert

Avi the Staraptor

Streetsharks the Garchomp and

Big Cat the Snorlax

So I failed to do my research and realized after my 12th attempt after Surge that Radical Red was unnozlockable for someone at my level, let alone forst attempt thank you Whitney and Brendan for the look at reality. Look at Pokemon Challenges for whats probably going to be the first person in the world to do it.

I decided to go vanilla after giving up, and I actually grew a lot in terms of strategy. I typically just plow through on pokemon games with brute (sp) force and the game punished me hard for it.

For the first time ever I learned about EV training and got go build a better team for it, got over some nasty shit from Blue and Giovanni but then I hit the hugest wall at Sabrina, no joke I think I nearly hit 100 attempts, but after studying harder than I've even done for school I came up with the best team i could think off......and felt short. I think i just needed to do just a tiny bit more damage to stop her from setting up but level caps wouldnt let me get any higher.

I realized I had to go IV farming for 2 days and after nearly getting close to 4 perfect IVS on my mon I was tapped. I was ready to play something else and come back later. I tried the fight not thinking much of it. But then I swept.

I hit some obstacles here and there but nothing short of grinding for different mon and for money for items/tms and respecing got me out of it. Getting money becames a hell of a lot easier after Sabrina.

I plowed through most of the game and today got to the Elite Four.

The biggest strat I learned was be the scummiest Kings shield, toxic darts, Intimidate stealth rocks and protect user. But that was not gonna cut it after a few Lorelei attempts. Something I tried but couldnt really focus on was finding good strong priority moves.

So I learned other ways to get priority and got to Hidden Natures. By getting natures that allowed priority I pretty much had 4 mon that were the perfect counters to everything i was expecting.

I say 4 because I was too attached to my starter (charmander) and my MVP Drapion.

Actually doing the E4 I pretty much swept even with my 2 oddballs being good to rescue the play and sacrifice if necessary (theyre pretty speedy) like most of the types I wasnt expecting and or other surprises.

I invested the most effort I invested in a while, this game is HARD especially if like me you haven't done competitive stuff.

It has mons and QOL features up to gen 8 so its really fun. Just really hard. Giving it a try if youre a somewhat wont quit masochist.

Idk I might play Renegade Platinum or Sacred Gold Storm Silver, something hopefully not as hard. I might nuzlocke a vanilla gamr though, it seems easier by comparison.

[iridescentides]

hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to 

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off 

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you 

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created 

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in 

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

[fancyenthusiastrunaway]

3 hours

"You know who I am" was never a threat as in "Do you know who I am?!".. And it wasn't like "This is Steven because who else writes to you like this." (Maybe the first time I wrote that phrase it was).. I think what I was trying to say was "You know I'm not making this all up- I'm a good person, right, why don't you believe me?".. I wonder how much was lost in translation, misinterpreted, when I wrote these stupid 'letters' to you. You wrote to: stay away from men who call you intriguing. I used that word because you had posted some image on your blog something about preferring to be complimented on personality and character rather than physically. Maybe I was always trying to be too poetic or romantic.

I should have let go a decade ago. You think I don't know that this is stupid, or weird, or whatever you want to call it? I do. Maybe I was trying to be too hollywood- you know those Adam Sandler movies where things dont work out but then at the end they do? But it wasn't just corny and cliche because I was also frantically trying to reach you somehow-hoping- with time having passed and aging maybe things would have been different if I had another chance (one that wasnt just writing to you from behind the screen).

But I don't even remember a fraction of what I wrote to you. I know I must have dug my hole pretty deep. I'm not here to save face. Maybe I've even said all of this before. I do wish whole heartedly that I had done things differently from the beginning. I messed up. These letters ARE dumb. I'm barely funny and at best a 6.5 attractive, and with my battle with depression- not ambitious. So can I blame you for not being interested? Especially after being too much of a coward to talk to you in person in all highschool.. I can't..

But I am sincerely sorry for all of it. My intent was never malicious. You don't post on your blog much anymore and I wonder if that's my fault. Probably.. But I worry that you don't post because of your own depression.. I hope you are okay... Or maybe you're just too busy with school and work, and have great hobbies and you aren't wasting life behind a screen. But really, maybe it's none of my damn business- I shouldn't even be here.. Probably.

Usually when I've sent these type of messages to you, you would follow with angry posts for a month or so. So obviously I should have known you aren't interested. But I was dumb. I am pretty smart, but I am very dumb. I do wonder whether that anger was all towards me or if you were upset yourself, because you do "know who I am", that you were shutting out a person that cares for you more than anyone else.

But really I don't know that you "know who I am". Words are often misconstrued. And it's been a decade. But I suppose you really do think I'm just a stalker- that you wish you were never nice to me. I get why you would think that. I do. I can see the picture that's painted, I know how many times I messed up, how hard things have been for you. I just wanted to make everyday of your life better and I wanted that chance and that's why I'd kept writing.

And I don't know. I said I'm not here to save face. I don't think I am- but maybe I am? And I don't expect you to suddenly change your mind after all this time- all these tries. Like I said I can see how bizzare these are. Yet I still do somehow hope we do make amends. I don't expect it though. Maybe I just wanted to write to you.. and that should be okay, right?

I don't celebrate birthdays, but I think yours is coming up. I hope these messages don't make you feel bad and ruin your birthday or any other days. That's not my intent. I hope all your days go well. I would have tried damn hard to make everyday a birthday for you if I could. You know?

I wish I could take away all the hate, discrimination, racism, violence, war, poverty, disease, pain, sufferring, and all of the woes. But I can barely get myself through the days. I can't even convince a girl to send me a text. Save the world? I'm just a broken man. So "who am I"?

Well, I'm trying so damn hard to make it through despite everything. I try to treat people kindly all the time. I'll finally be getting my drivers license soon. I've worked in a call centre for most of my "career" but I had a hard phone call that gave me a panic attack so now I am thinking of delivering pizza, building cabinets, becoming a recreational therapist or finding anything else to pay the bills. I like all types of music, anime, playing sports.. I really love the sound of water..

I don't know, girl. What I'm trying to say here? Maybe: I'm sorry, I'm not some creep, I hope you are well, I wish we coukd talk- but if we don't it's cool because I get it.. And just keep doing good Sabih, because I know you can.  

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 14

Slow Burn.

Marleys phone was on Do Not Disturb while she was working . She was so tired of this App job , it was easy but rather nothing but an inconvenience. The money was good, but sitting in front of her computer couldn’t be all there was to her life. Where was her million dollar check for doing something extraordinary . Or even better , where was her savior to deliver her from the stress of work . Market didn’t want to do anything . Maybe lay outside by her pool, and have her servant fetch her a cold glass of lemonade and some weed. Only one percent of the world lived like that , so she had to work like everybody else . “Why in the hell wasnt I born rich?”

Growing bored , she picked up her phone . Marley tried not to make it a habit , because it was so destracting. Marley saw that she had four missed calls from Becky . She called her right away . Worried , because something must have happened. The time spaces were back to back . Becky answered right away .

“Girl!” She screamed as soon as the call came through .

“What happened !” Marley just knew it was bad news . That “girl” was too emphasized to be about something light weight.

“Your cousin is in some deep shit”

Marley took a breath , she thought someone had died or Pedro had done something crazy to her .

“Tiana?”

Tiana had made every Instagram blog headline. She and her NBA player boyfriend Terrell James had been involved in a scuffle . Marley read along to the link that Becky had sent her. In the article , sources said that Tiana and the player had been in a physically abusive relationship for months . Marley found humor in the word “sources”. She would bet that those so called friends she hung around were the sources . Last night , neighbors called the cops reporting a disturbance. A woman screaming. They both were arrested for domestic violence and possession of cocaine . The mugshot of Tiana almost made her drop her phone . Her lip was busted, hair was all over the place and she had a black eye . Terrell’s mug shot was there too , only he had minor bruises on his face . He looked more annoyed than anything .

“Even in the mugshot, she still managed to look pretty” Marley said over the phone.

“You can tell she’s high too, look at her eyes” Becky Commented . They were red and dismayed . And she gave a slight smile , like she was unaware of what was happening.

The two had been released on bail late last night . “I figured since Erik took you away from social media , you didn’t know” Becky stressed to her . It was true , the only active apps on Marleys phone were CNN, a few gaming apps, and tumblr . Other than that , she online shopped or watched YouTube. And she had never felt more free .

Marley was such a sweet girl . With all the bad that Tiana had done to her , she actually felt bad for her . Knowing that if the shoe was flipped, Tiana wouldn’t bat an eyelash. So when Becky had to hang up and tend to the bar , Marley gave her a call . Her finger hovered over Tianas number for a while . She didn’t know what the outcome would be, but it was worth a shot . It rang a few times, Marley thought she would get her voicemail before Tiana finally answered .

“Hello?”

Tianas voice didn’t even sound the same , it was low and dry. Marley froze at first . It had been a long time since they had spoken . She didn’t even have a plan of what to say .

“Hey, Tiana I-“

“You really have the fucking nerve to call me?” She interrupted.

“I know what happened with you, if you need somewhere to go, you can come here until you figure things out”

Tiana let out a malicious laugh , it made Marley’s skin crawl . She was being obnoxious now , Marley regretted reaching out to her almost instantly.

“I don’t need help ... I’m not like you” that tone had now become calm, it was eerie almost . Marley rejected the “I’m not you” comment and decided that she should hang up before things got too bad . Before she allowed Tiana to take her to a bad place .

“Searching for a place to live cause your dad hated you and your mom was too broke to afford good health care”

Marley’s heart began to pulsate. She could feel it in her chest and neck . The fury made her ears hot . She couldn’t even see straight or come up with the right words to say . Marley would never say anything so hurtful to anyone . But maybe it was time to start.

“Don’t ever talk about my mother” was all she could muster up right now. Over the phone , in person the result would be so much different. She kept rocking in her seat, her anxiety was flaring out of control.

“You think you can save me like my mom and I saved you ?”

Marley stood up from her kitchen stool . She paced across her kitchen . The distain for this girl made her eyes squint , as if Tiana was standing in front of her “Is that what you think , you and your fucked up mother saved me!?”

“Yeah , we saved you... you know you always need saving!”

“Your boyfriend must have punched you too hard, cause you’re talking crazy”

Marley had struck a nerve because Tiana went off the deep end. Calling her everything but a child of god . Marley took in everything Tiana threw in her face and sent it back even harder . The two were screaming so loud that they couldn’t even hear what the other was saying. If an onlooker saw them both , they couldn’t tell who was the fool. After a few more tired curse words , Tiana said something that made the conversation take a turn for the worst .

“Why are you so worried about my man when Trey had a baby by a white girl when y’all were together”

Marley knew Tiana wasn’t lying . That scene at the grocery store remained close in her mind . Seeing Trey with that woman , walking closely like that. And the precious little curly haired baby she was holding . Marley just knew to expect the worst .

“I knew already , I don’t care about Trey” Marley played pretend.

“He said he didn’t want a baby with you” Tiana made light of something Marley told her in confidence. She knew about the entire conversation between Marley and Trey the day she thought she was pregnant. “But who would you’re fucking trash , Marley” she laughed because she knew for a fact that Marley didn’t know and she would be hurt by the information . Marley was completely over her relationship with Trey, but betrayal hurt no matter the timeline.

“I’m trash , but the news says you’re a coke-head now”

“Watch your back little cousin” she threatened.

“Erik definitely watches that for me”

Tiana let out a high pitched scream followed by the beep of her line disconnecting. Marley was glad she did because she had been holding in a cry for too long. She hadn’t cried in a long time , and Tiana stirred up a lot of unresolved emotions . Especially her feelings about being left alone in this world without the love of her parents. She leaned down onto her counter and rested her face into her crossed arms . She cried for the little girl who had lost her mother at such an impressionable age . She cried for the little girl who just wanted her dad to love and see her for who she was . And that little girl who was neglected and mistreated instead of being protected .

Soon , she stopped . Giving herself the gift of a deep ass breath . Marley felt lighter , that was the only good that came from this . She ran some cold water over a kitchen towel and pressed it into her swollen eyes . Marley hated crying , not that she felt weak... it was just exhausting. It had been a while since she cried . Since she was a teen, her therapist told her that she needed to cry . Dr.Robinson said that if she didn’t releases all that bottled up emotion, she would explode . And he would feel very sorry for anyone who triggered Marley to that point .

-

-

“Was that Marley?”

Crystal rested along her black leather couch . It was outlined with gold trim, flashy just like her. She smoked her cigarette , then ashed it in the custom made C-shaped ash tray that someone gifted her for her fiftieth birthday . That was five years ago. Her daughter Tiana sat across from her , unbothered by the smoke . She had been inhaling it since she was born .

“Yes” Tiana replied. Crystal let out a “humph” and took another hit of her ciggarette . Her outfit was almost identical to her daughters . Tight and revealing, meaning she was definitely too old for it . But that never stopped her . Even her mind was just as young and childish .

Tiana grew up with different types of men running through her house . Crystal jumped from relation ship to relationship . Her breaking point was always money related . If you didn’t have the means to support her lifestyle and her daughter, she was done . Crystal was the younger sister of Marley’s father . She was the apple of his eye until he met Jaime, Marley’s mom. He fell in love with her and he changed. He was no longer that money hungry playboy , the man that taught Crystal everything she knew about life . He was now this laid back care free guy .

“You’re gonna’ name your daughter after a weed smoking singer ?” Crystal said on the day her brother told her Jaime was expecting. She feared that after this baby, he would really neglect her . Growing up without a father, he was all she had. And he did, up until Marley started grade school . That’s when Crystal introduced him to his now wife , one of her very good friends . That was the beginning of the down fall.

“She always thought she was better than you, just like her mom thought she was better than me.”

Tiana ran her fingers through her wavy hair . Hair that was the total opposite of her mother. Crystal strategically wanted it that way. She made sure she had gotten pregnant by a man who could deliver those qualities . Light skin, loose hair , societies definition of what was beautiful. Crystal wanted Tiana to have an easy life , and it seemed to be working up until this point.

When she was little Tiana came home with her first boy crush . Marley had just moved in too. Some little boy who lived in the neighborhood, Tiana couldn’t stop raving about him so Crystal let him come over . She was way too young to start dating, but Crystal thought it was cute . The three kids played in the backyard while Crystal smoked her cigarette and watched . The little boy was intrigued with Tiana at first , until he found something in common with Marley. Crystal watched how he drifted away from Tiana and put all his attention on Marley . Crystal didn’t like that , she didn’t like to see her baby sad. That was the first time she put the bug in her daughters ear . Telling her to keep her friends away from Marley , because she would try to steal them all. Just how she had done the little boy .

Then Marley turned fourteen . Crystal had a boyfriend named Marcus . A heavy dope dealer she met from around the way . He was her favorite, because he bought her everything , paid bills and even bought her a car . His light skin was a plus. Sometimes he would show up with gifts for the two girls . Crystal noticed how Marleys gifts were always slightly better than Tianas . Then , he stopped bringing Tiana gifts all together . When Crystal brought it up to him, he cursed her out and said he only did it because she didn’t have anybody . And if she didn’t like it, he would leave and take the car too. Crystal wasn’t missing out on that money train so she shut her mouth .

One night , Marley came home late after an unpleasant visit with her father . Crystal and Marcus were on the living room couch watching T.V. It was dark, but the light from the screen reflected through his eyes. Marcus watched her like prey as she walked past them. The way a dog eyed a piece of meat . The way a man looked at a woman he wanted to fuck. Crystal thought she was being paranoid, she tried to blame it on her wine but something wasn’t right .

Later that night , something had brought her out of her sleep. She felt on her left bed side and found it empty , Marcus was supposed to be there . He wasn’t in her bedroom bathroom because the lights were off and it was silent . So she got up to see if his car was outside . It was still in the drive way .

Crystal could hear the wooden floors creak in her hall way. This was a time when Marley slept in a room next to Tiana, before Crystal moved her down to the basement . So it was normal for one of the girls to walk around .

But that wasn’t the case this time. She found Marcus , standing in front of Marley’s bedroom door . It was cracked slightly . He just stood there , watching her sleep . Grunting slightly, ever so often.

Crystal watched for a long time, not quite sure if she would stop him if he went inside . She kept thinking about how life would be if she actually lost him. So she did nothing but go back to her room and act as if she saw nothing. Thankfully nothing more happened that night . But the very next day, she moved Marley down into the basement . Away from her man. It seemed to displease him. More and more he distanced himself from Crystal . Eventually Marcus left her , and she put the underlying blame on her innocent niece.

“That’s why I put her ass in the basement . So damn jealous and ungrateful ”

“She could never be me, no matter how hard she tried” Tiana said proudly . Her mom let out a laugh and a few loud coughs . And when they seized, she laughed again.

“Shut the hell up , T!” Her mother had the ability to be hot and cold all in one sitting . One second she could be laughing with you about something, then in an instant she’d turn. Her daughter was floored and quiet. “I can’t believe you let her take your man”

Crystal knew all about the situation with Marley and Erik. Some truth, and some lies. Tiana even told her about seeing them together at the fair . How they purposely “flaunted” and “boasted” on the fact that they were together . Nevertheless, Crystal saw it as a problem . Somehow storing up her own distain towards her niece . It was as if she lived it through her daughter.

“She didn’t take him from me !” Her mom was really starting to fuel the fire . Tiana had only been there because her mother bailed her out of jail and she needed a place to go for the night.

“Then what did she do?” Crystal continued to tease and manipulate her . “She was living off of you , and fucking your man at the same time”

“I swear Marley is fucking done!” She pleaded .

“She had the nerve to call and speak to you after what she did. Since when did you let girls like her look down on you . I bet they both laugh at you all the time”

“Mom, I loved him. She took that from me!” Tianas rage made her sob uncontrollably. She was falling right into Crystals bait.

“Don’t let her get away with that. You make her ass pay”

“Mom, I want to hurt her so bad!” Tianas slammed her fist into the coffee table . It cracked slightly, but her adrenaline caused her to feel no pain “Watch when I get my fucking hands on her!”

Crystal began to calm Tiana down, in her version of a motherly way . She shushed her, and wrapped her arms around her . Hot and cold . And when she felt that Tiana had contained herself, she got to the root of another issue.

“Tarell keeps calling me looking for you” Crystal was talking about Tianas boyfriend. Her daughter broke free from her arms and shook her head . Tarell was the last person she wanted to talk about .

“They’re playing the Warriors and he said he’d be flying home tomorrow” she continued.

“I can’t believe they let him play, after what he did to me last night” she pointed to her black eye. Crystal kissed her teeth and rolled her eyes.

“You need to call him” she was absolutely stern with her statement.

“Mommy he hit me” Tiana said in a voice that reminded Crystal of when she was a little girl . But she saw a grown woman, who was about to lose out on a good thing.

“Tarell is a millionaire , and if you stop with the damn drugs, you probably could get knocked up!”

“Look at my face!” Tiana couldn’t even cover these scars and bruises with makeup , like the ones before.

“That man can buy you a new face. And if he does it again make him buy you another one” Tiana pulled out her cellphone and dialed Tarells number with a shaky hand. “You better hurry up before Marley steals him too”

Crystal laughed , then walked to her kitchen to make herself a nice stiff drink.

(Sorry for typos)

[the-queer-look]

The bonds that tie

No one is ever late to finding out their sexuality. No one is ever late with coming out. Everything takes time, and for some people that takes longer than others. Cultural and social circumstances can have a huge effect on how and when we begin to understand and accept ourselves, and in some parts of the world, that can have a deeply negative impact on our sense of self worth. Nevertheless, being true to ones self leads to deeper, more positive connections with those around you.

- K

Name: Jacob

age: 32

occupation: Refugee Assistance

Location: Liverpool

Gender: Male

sexuality: Gay

My name is Jacob, Im 32 years old, Australian, from an Iraqi background, with Assyrian nationality, and I am a gay man. I like to think of myself as a very easy going guy, although a lot of people seem to misunderstand my personality and think of me as a snob, or make a point of saying how I am very quite. I think that is because I am generally a shy person, largely because of being self conscious about my accent, I’m worried about saying something wrong, or not speaking fast enough. I always need to translate what I want to say into english in my head before actually saying it. I’ve always had a love of helping people, which is why I work for a government program designed to assist refugees secure housing and establish their first initial accomodation in Australia, which I’ve been working in for the past five years. My initial degree was in IT, which I gained back in Iraq, but once I finished my degree I realised that I wasnt very passionate about coding and working with computers, I just did the degree to satisfy my parents, so I worked with a newspaper and became a journalist until I left Iraq in 2010. I lived in Istanbul for a couple of years before moving to Australia as a part of my journey as an asylum seeker. I’ve been in Australia for about 6 years.

Upon moving to Australia it was very challenging to find work as a journalist, with English being my fifth language, and the competition for journalism jobs in Australia being so high, so I began assisting people who’d gone through my own journey, first as an interpreter, and then moving into community services and case management, and I’ve now done a diploma in social housing as well, and currently completing studies in social work with the University of Western Sydney, hopefully next year.

I think I realised that I was attracted to men when I was about 14 or 15 years of age, but because back then in Iraq there wasnt any access to the internet, nor anyone that you could really come out to and talk with about it, I felt extremely abnormal. I thought that it was just me, and that I was different to everyone else, it was at a time when all of my peers had girlfriends, and thinking about getting married and stuff. I met my first girlfriend when I was 17, and fell in love for the first time when I was 21 back in ui with one of my classmates, but of course that didnt last. I always felt like I was going down the wrong path, because even though I was dating women like I “should”, I still felt attracted to guys. Eventually I got the chance to speak to people through the internet, and found out what being gay was, and realised that I wasn’t an aberration. It gave me the tools to discover who I truly am. I dated my first guy when I was 24, which was when I was able to accept it, and I’ve identified as gay since then.

I did feel very strongly that I didnt belong in the society over there, with LGBTQIA+ people not being talked about at all, and such a religious culture which openly hated gay people… Growing up in a muslim society was very challenging, as the only Catholic guy in primary and middle school, with a western name as well, it didnt make it any easier to come to terms with my sexual orientation. I was bullied quite a lot for the way I dressed and acted, for not having a girlfriend etc. And that challenge moved to my home, the struggle about how to let my family accept me, the isolation that you feel as you build up to coming out to your family… Being gay, and the youngest in the family, in a very religious, Catholic family was not the easiest.

Eventually, even after moving out with friends after graduation, I was still very close with my family and dreaded the idea of coming out to them, and the possible disconnect from those family ties. Because I couldnt think of anything worse than not being able to see my nephews and nieces, of spending time with my parents. But eventually I had to be selfish for once, and I came out to them in August 2018. It was really hard for them in the beginning, they were really shocked, but we had a serious chat a few days later. I just realised, they always knew but they kind of denied within themselves, because of them… I looked different to any other gay guy that they knew of… I didnt fit those stereotypes that they thought of. I just did my best to educate them and make them believe it. At the beginning they were saying “You’re only saying that because you dont want to get married” and all this kind of stuff. I had to give them examples of people that I’d introduced them to and tell them that they were actually past boyfriends for them to accept the fact that I’m actually a gay guy.

They were expecting, even though we live in Australia now, that coming out to everyone would get me fired, or beaten up at work. They had no idea about the anti-discrimination laws in Australia, they even asked me about whether there was any sort of gay community in Sydney. Obviously it was a bit much for them, they offered me church conversion therapies, they offered me medications, they asked me to go on a blind date with a girl that might change my mind, but obviously none of those were options. I’ve asked them to accept who I am, and if not then they can continue their lives without me in it. But it didnt actually take any longer than two weeks before they started inviting me to family gatherings again, and our relationship now is even closer than what it was before. I’m so much more comfortable being myself around them, I dont feel like I have to hide myself, and pretend to be straight anymore that I used to do before. My whole family is so much closer now and I’m very grateful.

For my fmily I’ve always been the rebel. I was the first to move out of home, even though I’m the youngest. All of my brothers were getting engaged and married and still living with my parents. I moved out when I finished my studies, and everyone was against it. There’s this stigma in middle eastern culture that a young man should not move out of his family home before he gets married, because that will ruin his reputation and morals, and will have temptation to do bad things. There’ve always been comments about the way I dress, because my fashion choices were not very accepted, I followed the western singers on TV and stuff. And when I had my first piercing, an eyebrow piercing when I was 24, my family didnt talk to me for about two weeks because they thought it was too gay… surprise! It got even worse when I got my first tattoo, my friends would say to me “you look like a homeless person” “you look like you have no morals” etc, etc. When I got my ears pierced, they started saying that “you look like a faggot” which was really harsh. But I’ve always wanted to do what represents me, not to follow a group f people or act like someone else. I want to present myself in a way that represents myself, and I have always felt free to change my looks or the way I dress.

Things have definitely changed about the way I dress and act since I came out. I feel like I’m out of my shell, especially at work, I no longer feel the need to try to blend in anymore. Luckily the diversity at my work is very broad, so looking different isn’t a big deal. So far out of nearly 50 staff, I’m the only that is openly gay, which means of course I was picked by the inclusion co-ordinator to become the LGBTQIA+ champion fo the office, so staff could approach me to ask for resources and assistance when they have clients in the LGBTQIA+ community. And now I have the pride flag on my desk and people get shocked when they see it, and I can almost see the question marks appearing over their head as they stand there. But yes, I am definitely more comfortable being myself at work, that comfort in being who I am has helped my relationship with my managers because it’s like being a bird, and you finally learn how to fly, that’s how it feels for me to be out.

follow us on facebook

follow us on instagram

please contact us if you would like to be involved!