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pidgefudge · 11 days

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i miss being close with a person

#having a partner being able to talk to them about anything and everything #especially because theyre my age #being stupid and gay together watching shows talking about all the places we want to go oversharing about our irl lives #on the more mentally ill side having someone to be obsessed with and learn everything about and. all the other fun things #but for now let's focus on the genuine human connection part and being someone's first choice etc etc you understand #pigeon coos #now i sleep so i can wake up so i can go to school so i can be crushingly alone again

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totmatsu · 3 months

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chinamatsu old image dump (If the style changes drastically within these, its because theyre from a long span of time)

^Not the finished version of this comic. I lost the finished version. Which seems to have happened more often than not with comics specifically.

Also, I often used their Chinese names, but I guess for this comic I had decided not to...?

#chinamatsu is one of my favorite aus ive been crazy about it for years....... i will do so many things with it its crazy #sub aus of aus. so fun #but i do especially love modern age au chinamatsu. because i love modern china and i work with kids.#osomatsu-san #osomatsu san #mr osomatsu #osomatsu #karamatsu #choromatsu #ichimatsu #jyushimatsu #todomatsu #my art #chinamatsu #sorry about long post. ill tag that too.#long post #im really fond of this stuff........#simultaneously im a little shy.#also one of these images has yokais in it. funny.#i also have another version of the apartment where theyre wearing the modern clothes instead of the hkw clothes but this post is long enoug #anyway duansongs favorite game at the ripe age of 2 or whatever is 'get away from jiejie and go back in the restaurant and san gege gets #angry and puts her back outside. and you repeat. its very fun for her

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sonknuxadow · 10 months

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theres multiple reasons i dont like s/urgeamy but one of the things ive seen people do with it that annoys me a bit is the idea that surge and kit are going to become good because surge is gonna fall in love with amy and thats gonna be her only motivation to change.. and im sorry but am i the only one who thinks it would suck so bad for such fun antagonists to instantly switch sides just because one of them was "fixed" by romance and no other reason

#that is not an appealing storyline to me at least not for something like sonic where i dont wanna see canon romance #i DO think it could be interesting if amy being nice to surge and kit is gonna somehow be the start of a redemption arc for them #but not in a romantic way . not in an instant ''well i guess i have to switch sides now because i have a crush on sonics friend'' way #and ive seen some people assume that surge and kit are actually being serious when they come to the restoration as if theyve changed #i definitely dont think this is the case i dont think theyre good guys now #at least not yet it is possible they could calm down one day. but i dont think thats whats going on right now #i dont get why people are so obsessed with shipping amy with everyone anyway #shes just a little guy she should be doing average middle school aged girl activities like playing neopets or whatever #not entering serious romantic relationships . come on #especially considering most of her friends are a bit older than her #also the constant ''haha surge stole sonics girlfriend'' posts are getting on my nerves too #like my reasons for not liking the ship + the fact that the joke has already been made a million times aside.#it just always annoys me seeing amy be reduced to sonics girlfriend when theyre not even dating

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bmpmp3 · 5 months

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fish......

#art #traditional art #watercolour #embroidery thread #oc art #ocs #oc group: unsorted #oc: unnamed #i gotta name him. my guy whos secretly a school of fish pretending to be human #this was another study i made for class along with a few other doodles of this guy. then i got kinda roasted by my TAs lol #wasnt their fault i think they were just tired and stressed. plus theyre like the same age as me. i know what its like being 25 LOL #it did discourage me a lot in the moment because despite the everything about me thats probably apparent both through my blog and irl #i keep my art passions really REALLY closed off irl LOL so at the time i was like just barely stepping my toe out and showing my truth:#that all i do all day is draw dorky oc stuff HDKJSDS i did kinda immediately get called cringe in all but the actual word orz #it was a bummer but i think i feel better about it now. especially because again my TAs are the same age as me or younger than me #and im not gonna let a 25 year old calling me cringe get me in my head HKFSKJFDSd plus again i think they were just stressed and in a mood #because other times theyve been chill even when giving a harsh critiques so it mightve just been like. something in the air #but you know. isnt that a bit of a milestone in its own right. being called cringe in your fine arts class critique <3 #but i still like my funny guy from my dream. hes just a normal ass looking guy. who is made of fish :)

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thetisming · 16 days

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im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it

#im in this group chaf and im the only one there that doesnt live in new york snf doesnt know any og them irl and theyall know more and see #it a lot and know about the swing order and i dont and ive been feeling so bad about it and it's been so hard for me and then i have friends #that are clearlv better at fandom in general than me so theyre better at characterisation so if i get criticisrd i just feel Terrible and i #havent properly wtitten in ages caude ive been so worried about my characterisation cause a friend very gently criticised me on my character #isation like 2 months ago and i really look up to this person so now i just cant Do anything #and also the thing that they eere pointing out wad more anothrr friend's thing that i didn't even Like much but if someone talks enough i #can be persuaded to anything and also because im just terrified do i #'ll go along with literally anything just because i dont want poeple to hate me #and it's ruining my enjoyment and i mean i made an au and i was hoping that that would make it so that i could maybe write again but nobody #carrd so now i judt cant #i feel so broken right now #also people that were meant to be &j friends are now friend friends and i mean thats Fine #but i cant! handle it!!!#i cant talk about other things unless it's My other things #and i especially cant talk about five nights at freddy's because i used to be hyperfixated on that so now that im.not i just cant! talk abou #t it! or hear about it!!!#not to mention that that game fucking destroyed my life when i was 9 because everyone liked it but i didn't know what it eas anf they wouldn #t explain so now i judt CANT hear about it!!!!!!#i cant do it i cant. do this #i miss when it brought me so much joy but now i hate talking about it online and i cant do it anymore #i can't pretend to care i can't keep being an &j blog even though i do love it!!!! but i feel so insecure and inferior that i just cant!!!!!#i hate this so mcuh im sorry i needrd to get this out #i dont have anything interesting to say anymore and i mean there's also just like. the whole being autistic thing and not wanting peopel to #judge me for my interests which they have my whole life and now it's too much and i cant care this much anymore. i just can't #i dont have anything to contribute either i cant draw and i can't write anymore and i just dont know what to do #sorry

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months

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uugghh when you said you like aoki because of leaning towards characters in position of power I FELT THAT ASHDHFKD even since I was a kid I somehow liked the leaders of the groups the most and it HASNT CHANGED HELP (maybe its the sense of responsibility, god knows i dont have one)

stanning daigo like look at this depressed dude steering this cruiser called Tojo out of the rocks to sink gracefully at the shallows after the previous captain (cough kiryu cough) abandoned ship. You’re doing great sweetie i’m cheering you on. Keep pretending you’re all serious and know what you’re doing king 🫡

i like it when characters are evil cause its funny to my brain :) but no real shit cause Being In A Position Of Power is so tremendous and. Powerful LIKE you are responsible for so many people ... what you do with that responsibility can be frightening or benevolent and ouuuggh.....

i've gone EXTENSIVELY into why i love daigo but a major part of it is his character progression and the fact he tried so hard for the tojo until he couldnt. i wont get TOO into it lest i end up typing TWO Why I Like This Character essays in a day but how his attitude and his experiences change over time is so cool to me and i love it so much...

#long post #masadai #i mention it in these tags im tagging it for everyones sake #snap chats #like what i love about y7 is its message that 'just because someone isn't to society's standard doesnt mean they're bad #and just because someone is 'admirable' to society's standard it doesnt mean theyre good'#its a simple message but still i love seeing it #i think that's partially why i think masadai #while hilarious and unserious as hell as a concept for the most part- also weirdly appeals to my brain on a small sincere level..#maybe it's just cause arakawa was like 'hey you know what's going on in my son's brain right... you guys are like the same age....lmao'#but it's just interesting to me to see the difference in how daigo and aoki utilize their influence and responsibility #especially in the context that technically aoki is on the 'right' side of society while daigo is on the 'wrong' side #(and obviously we know aoki's terrible person while daigo's proven to be MUCH more likeable as an individual. that type of thing is always #of course they got their positions for SIGNIFICANTLY different reasons but still.... s'cool to me...

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icewindandboringhorror · 24 days

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Recent game related things .. hrmm...

#I do like the inconsistency of the first map. that is actually something older but that I re-found and added to my Game Reference stuff #so that when characters reference where they're from I can be accurate. I like that the whole map is kind of shifted up that way. Where the #actual south part doesnt even count as the south since its Too Far and Scary lol. and if you say you're from 'the north' thats basically #like.. one single continent. Though some people do make distinctions like 'north midlands' or etc. still. I like the ways that common #language isn't always precisely accurate like that. and thinking about why a culture would classify things a certain way or etc. etc.#The inventory page is so funny to me because it's literally just the BASe like.. sample layout just to make sure it works properly with 0 #actual design into it. just colored rectangles thrown together in MS paint. but what if I like... left it like that.. what if all the other #art in the game and UI is like stylized and fully matching BUT the inventory/journal/etc. screens I just left as plain colored blocks #with random misalignments and black spots and etc gjhbhjj... It looks unfinished in a Funny Contrast way to me.#the wordcounts are just like... my past few days of writing.. I am still not getting 2200 words a day done or whatever I needed. I'm lucky #if it's even half of that .... tee hee.. :3c I do also keep having appointments and other things going on but..grrr...#The full map of the area is probably not necessary but I thought it would be more realisitc if people were able to reference things. Like i #you have people all living in a city area probably at some point someone might mention a neighboring city or some landmark nearby #or etc. so I thought having at least the basic names of what's around for reference would be sensible. A side character mentioning #'oh yeah I don't live here full time I just travel from Marisene sometimes' or whatever makes it seem more like a Real #Fleshed Out Place than people just making vague references like 'the river' or 'i come from a city nearby' or 'i went to a place somewhere #around here' or 'the other city' or etc. lol.. Especially since global cities/global areas are weird as they operate almost like an #independent country within their walls. so it's like a micro country inside of another country usually. just plopped down in some agreed #upon plot of land that won't be too disruptive to the main country around it. That could get very complex depending on the cultural and #political backdrop of where they're placed (though obviously they try to choose the 'easiest' areas possible for it). Asen is a very mild #country without much history of conflict or anything so it's fine. But still interesting that Sifeh and the entire branched out global area #border three other districts of Asen. Which means like 3 times the local representitives you'l have to negotiate with for some major change #or anything. I think one of the 'random characters you can find around the world and have short discussions with just to make the area #feel more populated and real even though theyre not actual important npcs' is going to be a guy who actually serves on the council that #handles running the global areas and he's like.. some perpetually exhausted middle aged elf running around with a clipboard or whatever #ANYWAY...... hrgh... still trying to write when I can....#I WISH so badly that I had the scope for a simple character creation menu and all character interactions would allot for the background #of your player character. And also to have a simple day night cycle where places in the world you explore/people you talk to during the day #have new options or dialogue at night.. BUT alas... I already am so behind on everything as is lol.. aughhh... T o T #As the worlds number one Needless Detail And Complexity Enjoyer i must dilligently prevent myself from adding additional complexity

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chialattea · 4 months

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What will win:

my desire to write DA fics

vs

my seething hatred for medieval stereotypes (“haha they thought bathing was bad!!” “haha their streets were filthy and they threw wastewater out of their windows”)

#chia rambles #dragon age #do I wanna write my DA2 MGIT fic??? yes.#do I wanna write a medieval setting where this stuff is actually real??? no.#like ok Ferelden I understand it’ll smell bad what with the dogs and the mud and all #but like even then #people in medieval times had noses???? they were people??? they enjoyed being clean???#especially true pre-industrialization #but technically it’s canon in Thedas and I HATE IT SO MUCH #THEYRE A MEDIEVAL SETTING #AND YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THEY DONT HAVE COMMUNAL BATHHOUSES???#insane #kirkwall I can accept bc it’s a shithole #but the rest of the world?????#no #and even then would the magisters settling down accept a place w/o running water? if they’re inspired by the Romans #mmmmmm don’t think so #I mean THE SEWERS EXIST #WHY WOULD THEY HAVE SEWERS AND NOT COMMON BATHHOUSES #it’s canon that Dorian bathes so Tevinter DOES have higher standards of hygiene #but also that pisses me off so much because again MEDIEVAL PEOPLE DID BATHE #(clenching my teeth) then MGIT was like I’m gonna take a bath! and DA character No.43 gasped and went you silly girl!! its once a week!!#FUCK OFF #worldbuilding #da2

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arolesbianism · 2 months

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Working more on the local group of Synchronized Light and hoo boy. There's smth wrong with these guys.

#rat rambles #oc posting #rain posting #theyre mostly a different flavor of messed up than my other guys as theyre all like family drama messed up #these guys are not family except for the obvious two they're just all either the worst or going thru it #oh also the girlfired of my ancient girl is a part of the group and they have a name now theyre twisted orbit 👍#orbit has gotten the pleasure of not just having an upsetting backstory but also an upsetting present due to one of her neighbors #and funnily enough its not synchronized light she basically never interacts with those two #instead its the circles second most fucked up lil guy named putity preserved #he is an absolute ass and has been absolutely obsessed with the idea of being the one to find the tripple affirmative for ages #back when the ancients were around he managed to convince his city's council to allow him to experiment on prisioners and after the mass #ascension he has continued to experiment on the various lifeforms he can get his hands on #for most of the time before the mass ascension orbit wasnt particularly invested in solving the great problem so he didn't pay her much #mind but after a certain incident where she broke down and had her memoried shifted through and selectively romoved he started to pay more #attention to her even though for the first while up until the mass ascension she mostly just seemed hollow #eventually after the mass ascension they seemingly suddenly gained an immense interest in solving the great problem #and that was when purity reached out offering to work with them on the project #at first orbit was unwilling but after the sliver incident they seemed a lot more willing to hear him out #which was perfect news for him because the sliver invident made him Furious and he was desperate for a way to revise history #and thankfully orbit's motivation for solving the great problem was exactly what he had been hoping for.#then theres the other two members of the local group endless grains of sand and deep coated mist who are the old ladies of the group #and theyre like old old they were some of the first iterators constructed and it shows #mist especially as her structure is both much larger than a modern iterator and also way less efficient and with much higher steam output #the quirk of this local group is that they all sorta use the same water that's rotated through them all #sand being located by the ocean and mist being located far away on the peak of a huge mountain being the connecting points of the loop #sand fiters a bunch of the water and sends the excess upwards towards a variety of water resavoirs and also mist #mist then slurps up a shit ton of it and outputs a shit ton of steam which condenses to water and flows downwards through the mountainous #area she's perched atop from #this water then forms a series of rivers and lakes downwards through the other 3 and since they require way less water than her theyre able #to all safely recycle mist's outputted water

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she-anemone · 3 months

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there's really nothin like a zelda dungeon, 2d or 3d they are just in a class of their own as puzzle playgrounds I luv em so much

#oracle of ages continues to wow me with its tight dungeon design #not too long and a good central puzzle #the overworld is amazing too #good game #ya know despite my love for dungeons i still like botw more than totk #in botw they were like no dungeons were giving you a new experiment which was fine and i was like whatevr fine #but totk is like here we made dungeons like you wanted and theyre just sooo half assed #really burned me #especially because the lead up to each dungeon was stellar #like awe inspiring #but then ya get there and its like oh... a divine beast with a change of wallpaper #and the sacrifices they had to do to the story to make everything open ended #aghhhh

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13eyond13 · 3 months

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#just watched s 2 ep 7 of the vampire show #and these are just some ramblings that hopefully will not offend fans of the show im just trying to articulate my thoughts to myself #i think it was a cool idea to turn their trial into one of the theatrical performances onstage #however im still annoyed at how the domestic violence episode happened and was apparently a real thing #like idk it just ruins the whole vibe in the book of how these characters were living together doing awful things to humans yet #somehow mostly carrying on in civilized peace and not ever directing that violence toward each other for decades on end #this choice messes up the characterizations and relationship dynamics too much for me somehow #also messes up the aesthetics that are a delicate balance between the savage and grotesque and polite and refined #it was important to me that lestat wasnt the one to first cross that line in the books and that claudia was #i feel like kinda the one thing that lestat had going for him in the first book as a standalone story #was that he didnt ever cross certain lines with louis and claudia that the show made him cross there?#he seemed to have a different inner set of rules when it came to what violence he would do to humans and what he would do to them #it's hard to even articulate what kind of shittiness is a dealbreaker in a character or a ship to me #especially when theyre constantly doing stuff like feeding on people to stay alive #but for some reason lestat and louis beating the shit out of each other is just such a nonsense ooc thing to make them do in my opinion #also claudia in the book was valid for what she did to lestat already i thought. i dont see why they had to change or add to the motives #she was turned into a vampire at age 5 and therefore almost purely a vampire in nature and also totally valid in not being happy about it #and in the books lestat made her a vampire on his own after louis fed on her and they did not discuss it beforehand #and he never mentioned rules about a child vampire being forbidden and louis did not beg him to do it. in fact one of the biggest reasons #that louis and claudia decide to turn on lestat is because theyre convinced hes just pretending to know more than he does about vampirism #and either has nothing to teach them or wont ever let them go so they can find out anything for real about their own kind #these changes in the show bother me too but i think im not that good at articulating why #i also feel like as much as book louis's weakness and passiveness and guilt can get frustrating and isn't always interesting to follow #in a way that's kinda one of his more saving graces and most defining traits as a vampire as well - so i dont always know how to feel #about them making his character more powerful and aggressive and involved in things in the show at times?#on one hand i often get frustrated at his moping and indecisiveness and inactivity in the books #and yet on the other hand i find i miss his quieter softer excruciatingly polite book personality when i am watching the show at times too #p #vmpcs

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lateseptemberdawn · 3 months

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Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew

#this cousin of mine has twins #twin boys #and while i sort of understand why she is the way she is with them #i realy cant wrap my head completely around it #because well #its such blind idiot stupid fucking BAD behaviour especially for a mother was especially towards her children #especially when theyre twins and youre so blatantly partial the favoured one KNOWS hes favoured #like. she has absolutely ruined her second boy and absolutely cannot handle him and yet slaps him every chance she gets #doesnt listen to him refuses to indulge him even the least bit shows zero affection and ive been here three days and man can i see #that child is fucking parched for affection specifically from him mother because he is neglected #he knows he is neglected #he is scared shitless of her and acts out of his way to get any attention he can because that is the only time his mother will hold him #be it with sharp fingers and a hold that digs into his skin #theyre literally just 5 years old #the neglected child i a fucking dream come true. is already smart as FUCK #does anything you tell him to do RIGHT THAT SECOND #the only flaw is that he doesnt listen when anyone tells him not to do something which isnt even a flaw for fucks sake #thats a fucking child hes gonna ASK #and you shout at him and dont amswer him and when he keeps asking you hit him #my heart fucking cries man #the other one knows his mother favours him and despises his brother and that evil fucker (i know its not his fault) lies #and gets his brother hit and then fucking TEASES HIM ABOUT IT THREATENS HIM LATER ON LIKE I AM SO DISGUSTED #HOW MUCH OF AN AWFUL PARENT DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE AWARE OF HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU AT THE AGE OF FUCKING FIVE #F I V E (5).#they. are. FIVE.#i seriously want to keep him to myself because she will ruin him #and whats more disgusting is when shes getting him to do stuff shes all like “baby do this” and the moment hes back and standing close she #pushes him away? looks at him disgusted? says “why do you bother me so much”??????#that is child is the most fucking neglected child ive ever seen and seriously man why does this happen and why do I HAVE TO WITNESS IT #the favoured one is pure evil and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM HES DUMB ASF CANT EVEN WRITE ONE WORD WITHOUT DYING DOES NOTHING DOESNT LISTEN

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ranvwoop · 6 months

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incredibly mid sub-series of a greater webseries save me. save me. etc etc

rita summers cool war My new oc

#vwoop.noises #I have imprinted upon her + co #I need to write properly. I cannot write Like a hc post because I need to present my thesis properly. But. There could be something here ..#order of business 1) Jessie T. is presumed to be around her age and theyre friends #1a) she is a real character #1b) She gets themes #2) I just think she's neat ..#Literally nothing here is executed. super well Imo except the fact that the lead gives me Bad double agent feelings #because i love bad double agents. And this is why I imprinted BUT I COULD FIX THEM. ESPECIALLY THE GIRLS. OK #I've read some things that I do think are actually good works. I could simply be into mxtape #(i did. It's good and i like it)#but no. I'm here instead

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revui · 6 months

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i feel like we kinda lost the plot when our pushback against queer discourse and exclusionists became centered around "all the bad people are stupid children so we shouldn't listen to or care about them"

#levi rambles #you don't have to listen to strangers on the internet. you don't have to 'justify' not listening to them because theyre 16 #especially bc in my experience most of the culprits are like 25?? not high schoolers? ik thats anecdotal but still #why make it about age. why alienate queer kids who actually want to listen to you

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kxllerblond · 1 year

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reading book? too much effort. sitting down and writing replies?? can't focus.

youtube rabbit hole of in-depth Barbie history and architectural design of dream houses and playsets? i got all da focus in da world baybeee!

#barbie has always been an Interest especially in adult years since i more or less refrained from being #a hardcore barbie enjoyer because ykno not to gender talk on a tues but i rejected just about everything typically femme because i did not #want to be seen as femme or fully femme from a young age #so even if i really liked barbies i distanced myself from them pretty fast :'(#so now i think im compensating by like. instead of buying them for myself because i dont really want to collect. i just like lmao #obsessively info dive and watch commercial compilations and shit kdjfgdg #anyway did you know barbie has two younger siblings besides her main three that were actually her youngest ones #tutti and todd and they havent been seen since the late 90s? like theyre recognized in terms of history but in terms of #barbie lore and canon theyve been completely retconned out cuz theyve never shown up in sets or movies or anything #did you also know they were made of a bendable soft plastic as opposed to hard and the wires were prone to poking through and stabbing kids #and that the plastic stored like shit and if you put them (soft plastic) on your other dolls (hard) they would literally #melt into each other?? :)#barbie also has lots of cousins just got mentioned briefly and then annihilated from technical canon lol #oooh and then there's also Blaine who is an ex bf of barbie that was made specifically to date her briefly during a sort of campaign #barbie broke up with ken and got with blaine but ofc she got back with ken and after that blaine was never seen nor mentioned again. he deA #anyway happy tuesday im gonna eat my soup and try and break out of this info consuming trance so i can wrITE #oHOH and last silly trivia being barbie has lots of canon relatives that havent been retconned or anything BUT they've also never been made #into dolls. off the top of my head i think some of these include like uhhh her mom and dad and some aunts and shit #tho i think these are either just mentioned in passing or from the barbie movies or some in books

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amidalashandmaidens · 1 year

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Maybe the toughest part of deciding when B.T belongs is what friends they get.

#either way b.t has to be involved in the militia/police service in some way #i was thinking if b.t was ashley's age maybe their fathers knew each other + so they were childhood friends.#b.ts father could be a military contact that president graham knows + it would be an easy in for bt to get involved #ESPECIALLY after the events of re4!#theyre so torn up on the inside because THEIR bestfriend was KIDNAPPED and had something horrible happen to her that she wont talk about #They couldnt protect her!#and so they work to join the D.S.O so they can help!!#i think theyd be pretty starstruck by leon #so i got a bunch of material for b.t as ashleys friend!!#and its gonna be harder for stars or rpd #resident evil oc #my art #my oc #b.t langley

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