#especially as i grow older
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Anyway recently a new friend of mine looked at me while we were having a drink and he was like you have a really nice smile ...! Like it was something he hadn't realised before and recently another friend had sent a picture of us to another friend and I spotted her completely unprompted reply saying I, me, not him, looked radiant, or something. And before then I thought I looked kinda stupid in that picture and then I looked after seeing that message and I was like oh, well maybe I do look nice. So what is the truth.
#personal#my stuff#i always interpret it as - yes im a little ugly like regular ugly so just normal yknow like everybody so not really ugly but flawed and i#also know i look young and a bit weird maybe well certainly i think because of that and NAYWAY#im jsut. regular..not very pretty. because i cant style myself in that way. im blind tonmy own face. i guess im just. young looking. i dont#want that.#especially as i grow older#not in some cute way just YOUNG#arrhdhdjskskfjjrd#aneyay what i meant to say is that i interpret that as - i look regular-ugly-good and in thise moments i look genuinely good - better than#normal - than you'd expect at. a glance#yes it is insecurity spill time. YES. this IS my personal diary.#anyway well whatever some people will still like yoi even of youre not of amazing amazing looks#but sometimes im just like - what do i even look like what do people even see how do i even 'fit' next to anyone?#also that friend did once say imply something along the lines of when she was drunk that she feels more comfortable next tome bc im not as#styled-puttogether-feminine-pretty as her other friends my acquintances#and well anyway the sting is gone i alreadybknew or suspected that#but yknow lifelong insecurity - and yknow they are very pretty. and more feminine. and yes i do believe that thats why i wasnt in the gotda#whatsapp group#ANYWAY.#because italians are sexist? im joking...#i am. but damn.#anyway..movin on.#maybe i should just focus on getting fit.#anyway dont. no. she meant that response and thats nice.
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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characters i have drawn just soooo many times i love you forever thena!!!!!!
#my art#ace attorney#aa5#athena cykes#i like playing with her colors especially because her colors in that game are so bad. well like most of the colors in that game are soso bad#seriously jumpscared by seeing her sprites and everything when i checj for references. like that is NOT my dearest honeydrop sweetiepie.#<- just realized most of the time ive known athena ive been younger than her but now im older so i call her cutiepie and stuff. growing olde#r than my favorites is really weird sometimes#i do like most of the details of her design though which is part of why i do like drawing her a lot#also yes she has tamagotchis pulled up on widget thatswhat widget is for#img desc in alt text
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🦇: "You know, your grandmother disapproves of you visiting your lover's private quarters before marriage."
🐉, scoffing: "That boomer."
🦇, gasping: "Where did you learn that term? I cannot believe you, Malleus. I did not raise you to be like this."
🦇: "I did not raise you to use the wrong term in a sentence. Because your grandmother is not a boomer,"
🦇: "She's a fossil L-M-A-O."
🐉: "Is she?"
🐉: "She's probably older than the very first dinosaur. Do you reckon she was there to witness how the world's crust was formed?"
🦇: "Maybe she could confirm through first-hand experience if the Big Bang theory's real, don't you think?"
Ah, the joys of pouring wine and late night conversations.
#althought mal is a good boy i like to think he has disagreements with his grandma due to the huge generation gap between them#especially when mal grows older and forms stronger personal beliefs#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#maleficia draconia
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IMAGINE the way Terzo gloated to his brothers when Mist got summoned. HE, the little brother, got the lady-ghoul! The FIRST ghoulette! Not them! He probably would be all about rubbing it in his brothers’ faces for as long as he could.
#I have brothers I know exactly how that shit goes#especially growing up both watching my younger brother interract with my older brother#and being a younger sibling myself#if you can find any way to prove you’re better than your older sibling you do it#or at least that’s how it was in my household#shitpost#the band ghost#ghost#shitghosting#nameless ghouls#mist ghoulette#meliora#papa terzo#terzo emeritus#papa emeritus iii
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Happy birthday to the only man that actually has “aura”
Who’s calm as you like except when he has to deal with English referees
Who’s not only a world class footballer
But also a world class model
And the best captain we could ask for ❤️🧡
#i have so many more pictures i could post#next year#my dearest dearest man#virgil van dijk#i hate that he’s growing older because i want him to play forever#but birthdays should be celebrated#especially his
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Imagine this:
You are hated.
You are ten years old and you are hated. Your father existed in your life for only a day, and he doesn’t like you. He can’t understand you. The anger in his voice echoes. You are to obey him. A teenager you just met scoffs at your presence. You feel he looks down on you. You need to prove them wrong.
You try.
They hate you.
Your grandfather sees you as a tool. He loves you, but you are also just a connection to your parents. His expectations weigh heavy. Your mother loves you. But you know this isn’t the life she wanted. The life she deserves. She loves you, but to stay by your side is a shackle.
You see the teenager again. He assumes the worst immediately. You cannot be trusted. You meet a man who calls that teen his brother. He does not like you. He may not say anything, but you can feel the bewilderment, the annoyance. You are a side character, an obstacle to work around.
Still. Still. You want to try again. Your father is here. He is a fighter. You can fight too. You can be better, even. But he leaves you behind. He already has sons who can be better. Your mother tried to warn you.
So you go to your father’s city. America. Gotham. It is familiar in its oppression and yet alien in its hostility, its rules.
You have cut ties with your grandfather. Abandoned your mother. You can’t be alone.
You discover your father is dead. The connection can’t be made. You have lost your family. The brotherly man is there again. He takes you in. But nothing is easy.
Nothing can ever be easy. No one can be kind to you. They never have. You can’t be weak. They will rip you apart. So you persevere. You have to hurt them before they hurt you. Abandon them before they abandon you. Deride them, see their flaws, before they see yours. You cannot be anything less than perfect.
Fighting back makes things worse. You are a monster.
They call you demon. Feral. A spoiled brat. You cannot be a son. You cannot be a child.
They have the privilege of having your father, and they deny your place. You are fighting for yourself. You must survive on your own.
The man gives you a name. It is an honor, but you can’t help but feel it is also a collar.
You are a bird of prey, yet they scorn you for exacting your purpose. What is an eagle if not a predator? You were born to hunt. You were born to maim.
But you are a Robin now. A songbird. You try to fit the mold. You clip your wings, dull your talons. You learn to sing, not scream.
It’s fine. You are fine here. You hold a name that must be cherished. A name that demands more expectations.
It’s fine. You are used to this. Your name was once “tamer.” Now you hold many more names. They watch you. They evaluate you.
You can be hurt, you are strong. You can be shot, you are strong. You can be killed, many ways, but you are strong. They will appreciate you this way. They will praise you. One day. They will love you one day.
You will no longer be hated until you are more than perfect. One day, they will see you as you.
#damian wayne#dc#damian wayne meta#robin#this is a rambling mess of ideas#don’t take it too seriously#I just wanted to vent about Damian’s pov in the early days of his comics#waspdoesathought#a painted bird called tamer#vent post#I fully believe that Damian grows past this mindset as he gets older and fully accepts Robin as his own identity#especially as he makes connections/gets closer to the others in the family and makes friends of his own
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How old do you think the turtle tots are in the comics/art you've shown? (like, roughly, how it's their development)
will probably be a bit long because of pics so!
^ a few weeks after being mutated (basically still newborns, very small)
^ Around 6-7 months! Can be seen crawling around the house
^ Roughly around 8 months old (already starting to string together syllables)
^ Around 3 years old! (Yi is VERY smart for her age)
^ Around 4 years old!
^ extra silly fun fact! they started purring being only a few days old!
#THESE MIGHT NOT LOOK MUCH DIFFERENT FOR YOU GUYS BUT LITTLE KIDS DO SO MUCH PROGRESS AND#GROWING UP IN SUCH LITTLE TIME OK. THESE LITTLE MONTH DIFFERENCES MEAN A LOT.#especially when we are talking about like the start of crawling walking and the start of them doing chirps squeaks and sounds that lead to#actual words#ofc by chirp and squeaks im specifically talking about turtle tots lmao#please dont spect your actual kids to do chirps or smt hahsagh#kids developing is truly crazy dude!! they be going!!!!!!#just realized i have yet to draw them older asjhfjs maybe soon#baby turtles are still so fun to draw! fun shaped!!!!#miguel ohara jumpscare because i just realized thats the only purring tot ive drawn until now lol#i think my friend who is a preschool teacher would be very proud of me because of this post HWHEH#ask#peepaw and babies au#i really need to answer more of the peepaw asks i love peepaw asks :']
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Jasmine: (Does a ghostly call around a campfire) “¡Ayyyy miiiissss hijooooos! ¿Dónde están mis hijoooooosss?”
MacCready: (Puts his hands over his ears) “StOoOoOoOp!”
Jasmine: (Has her hands out in front of her as she moves around) “¡Quiero mis hijooooos! ¿Dónde están mis hijos?”
Piper: “I have NO idea what you’re saying, kid- but it’s freaking me out!!!”
Danse: (Is as white as a ghost at his spot by the campfire)
X6: (Says nothing while shuffling on his own two feet, hands in his pockets)
MacCready: “Can’t you just… Tone it down a notch or two?”
Jasmine: (Throws up her hands) “It’s Halloween!!! It’s suppose to freak you out!!! That’s the point!!!”
Piper: “After all the spooky scares we pulled on each other during the prank war- we all are a bit tender!!! So give us a break! Now we have to worry about some vengeance filled Mexican lady coming after us!”
Jasmine: (Rolls her eyes) “¡Cobardes! Y’all are a bunch of sissies! I’ve been hearing this story since I was born and so had most of the kids my age in my neighborhood.”
MacCready: “And I’m pretty sure you kids weren’t living off a gallon of coffee and three hours of sleep all the time!”
Deacon: (Comes out from behind a bush dressed in a white nightgown and a long dark wig) “OoOoOoOoOoOo!!!” (Slowly moves towards the campfire, the smoke machine he set up earlier adding extra dramatic flare)
Jasmine: (Points and gasps) “¡La Llorona!”
MacCready, Danse, and Piper: (Scream bloody murder in sync)
X6: (Stands there stock still as his soul silently leaves his body)
Nick: (Comes running over) “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?”
Everyone: (Dives behind RoboDad for protection)
Jasmine: (Runs up and puts her arms around his waist, staring up at him innocently) “Papi- La Llorona wants to take me away and drown me! So you hafta protect me!”
Nick: (Heavy sigh as he picks the teen girl up) “Not the vengeance ghost lady again- haven’t you told enough of those scary stories?”
Jasmine: (Huffs) “No- I haven’t told everyone about El Cucuy yet.”
Nick: (Glances behind him at the trembling adults) “Maybe hold off the scary stories until after Christmas…”
Deacon: (Waves his hands around some more) “OoOoOoOoOo!”
#So the version of La Llorona I heard growing up was that she wouldn’t take adults. Just children.#Specifically children that weren’t listening to their parents and being wild at night.#Especially by the riverside or the lakeside. So as long as we hid behind an adult- we would be safe.#One of my older cousins would tell us this story at night while we were sitting around the fireplace at a river or lake.#And he would hide his speaker in the woods to play her cries to scare us.#But jokes on him because us kids just got ready to go to war with La Llorona. We were ready to square up to the ghost lady.#At night we would look out the windows of whoever house we were at and try to spot her in the distance.#So our Google searches were consisted of “How to summon La Llorona”.#If her cries sounded like they were close- La Llorona was far away. If her cries sounded far away- La Llorona was actually very close.#Anyways- Jasmine likes to tell these stories around campfires. She has the best ghost stories.#Some maaaaay or may not be true.#I mean- ghosts are REAL in Fallout.#The poor companions have to deal with their little sister being a menace all the time with her ghost stories and antics#Deacon tried to do La Llorona’s cry- but his pronunciation wasn’t that good so he just did typical ghost noises.#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#nick valentine#fallout oc#fallout original character#fallout 4 companions#maccready#robert joseph maccready#piper wright#x6 88#fallout x6 88#paladin danse#danse#danse fallout 4
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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fiddleford is so sexy when he does silly things. bangin out the tunes on the banjo. hamboning and knee-slapping. his goofy hillbilly laughter. nervous stims as he excitedly explains something. bro i feel insane whenever i see him because the silliest little details are just so. waugh
#not to yearn for this fictional guy on main but. mcgucket i would grow old with you 🙏🙏🙏🙏#fiddleford#old man mcgucket#gear diary#fidds the type to run in a circle and click his heels after an especially gratifying personal victory#side note but the other day my bestie pulled up a pic of mcgucket on his computer and every time i saw it i just#like. had to look away because it’s one of my fav pics of him and i was like AAAAA i just got so flustered#also before anyone gets their hopes up. it was a weirdly cropped pic of old man mcguck mid-blink and covered in bandages and bruises#i know no one will truly believe me when i say this but i LEGITIMATELY feel that goofy = sexy. i’m immune to legitimate sexy fan service#the only sexy older guy i will accept is the hillbilly who lives in the dump and whose voice feels like a cheese grater on the brain#no one fucking understands.
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😭😭
#BEHIND THE CODES SPRINGTRAP NOOO#Hi. im posting this here during a break from studying. i'll be back soon though#:]#i plan on making some springdad au animations in the future to better my skills#working on the au helped me get through some stuff irl and honestly im not ready to let go of it so soon#i'd say its different from the aftons suburb one. i had lost interest in it when it became some sort of shitpost#there is nothing wrong in having 'shitpost aus' but ig its not how i wish to view things#i do like ephemeral stuff#things that last for a while and that make you think 'woah. im glad i had the opportunity to see this' are always my favorite#aftons suburb was one of these cases#springdad au is going through the same path. but i trully believe theres more content to come from it#oh and about BTC?#i took a break from it. its been two or three months since that folder was last opened (and if i did open it. i didnt do anything)#its relatively hard to come up with good dialogs when theres also a need to comprehend how different characters express themselves#especially when said characters are older than you. or smarter than you in some way#some of them speak louder. while others will speak through their actions#thought i had to grow up a bit more to understand how these things work.#turns out. that mindset was blocking the whole creative process#anyway. its going to take a while#thank you for your patience
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the circle of life is that when ur in 4th grade u watch gravity falls and u say omg mabel is just like me fr. and then when ur 21 u rewatch gravity falls and u say omg mabel is just like me fr. so then u have to draw her older . thats just how it works
#my art#mabel pines#gravity falls#lord forgive me i am being silly again ..................#had 2 pay 2000 dollars 2day for quarterly rent plus security deposit plus sign a lease I Have to do fanart 2 calm down or ill die#it calms me . its a calming presence in my life . drawing 20 yr old mabel pines with kandi bracelets n big earrings calms me#lineless especially i love drawing lineless its like a coloring book#i think that when she gets older she grows into a squarer jaw and big ears . like her grunkles
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behold! a kakaobi painting from literally months ago!
#I wanna draw more obighost#very fun#but also it kills me sometimes to think about how devastating it was for little kks to deal with growing older while obito never got to#and especially when he reaches the age obito was when he died....#I imagine this is placed on that birthday#I dunno...#think I was thinking about the idea of Obito slipping through Kakashi's fingers#he's aging and feeling as he leaves Obito behind#He fell in love with Obito and Obito died before he got to be anything more than a child#and now it's really sinking in that Obito's /gone/#and he's never going to get older#Dead kids don't age#nurt#yeah I just think this would utterly break Kks again#as a bonus to everything else ofc!!#kakaobi#Not to mention by this point it's both Kakashi's teammates that will never grow old...#hatake kakashi#uchiha obito#obikaka fanart#chearts
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"What was it like living with Barky?" versus a man sighing with his full body ready to go to war and protect the privacy of his very private teammate yet again and reveal nothing that hasnt already been talked about previously
"like people ask me even teammates they're like how is barky like? what does he do in his freetime? even guys that been playing with him for years, they're— (exasperated)" "ekblad said he's never been to his house." "(laughs) yeah, I think he really wants to go to his house."
conclusion hes just a normal guy absolutely to popular belief
BMW Teammate of the Month | 11.30.24 (x)
#anton lundell#aleksander barkov#ekky mention lmao because if we're talking about nosy teammates who want to know what sasha is like at home#its mr i havent been invited to sashas house in nth years#florida panthers#2425#lundy going “even if im the younger guy-”#little brotherisms despite being an older brother#very “sasha is hard on me in practise but ill keep challenging him”#remember when sasha mentioned he realised lundy was stronger facing him in training camp?#oh hes growing up so fast#i love jameson trying to bait lundy into giving away anything and lundy is like (swerves into a different topic)#the way lundy does protect sashas privacy is very commendable#especially with the way hes the one whos always asked how sasha “is really like”#the kitties respect his boundaries so much#he really is just a normal dude (shrugs)#sorry the ekky mention kills me everytime#jameson way too quick with that ekky your whines are effecting this team even our EMPLOYEES#soon we'll get a “i havent been invited in 11 YEARS” and i will relish it
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Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.
#I've never been interested in Riordan's work and the Percy Jackson books I did read as a young lad didn't change my mind on that topic#Growing up I preferred a very one or the other method for my greek adaptational content#which essentially means either you're a play or an adaptation of a legit story or myth with recogniseable figures and plotpoints#or you're an original story with mythical elements but the myths and the adaptations and interpretations of those myths is secondary#Percy Jackson did both and it was very disorienting for me because the books were well grounded enough that when I came into contact#with some element I didn't recognise or couldn't remember I myself would get confused and go “Is that true? like really?? :0c”#Then I ran a library book club and Percy Jackson books were p much all the kids wanted to read#but they rejected all of my supplementary greek myth exercises and got a lot of stuff mixed around#because percy jackson does a rather good job of making a convincing argument that it knows its stuff and people will quicker cite that#than do readings of the much more difficult older texts and translations of text#It's not Percy Jackson's fault it's just a bad experience that stuck with me and by extension leaked over into Trials of Apollo when that#was released#Trials of Apollo was crazy because I generally make it my business to consume any and all greek myth interpretational media that bothers#to include Apollo (there is a shockingly low amount of things that do that)#however a LOT of novels especially never let Apollo retain the dignity of a god in their portrayals of him#and have him resemble a teenager more than anything even remotely close to an adult#I had just gotten finished reading a novel adaptation of the story of Coronis and Apollo with this same issue#so when I opened the first volume of ToA and saw that Apollo simply genuinely WAS a teenager#Frankly I just closed the book and put it back on the bookstore shelf and very calmly walked away LMFAO#I have nothing to say about Hellenists and neo hellenists y'all seem like wonderful people and I hope#you have a lovely time with your e-offerings and worship#unless you are my single personal friend with Apollo as your patron#then I wish you 1000 woes and 10000 divine brain blasts#toa#pjo#ginger rambles
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